#bc if not then im just posting to a wall
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when someone has a defined sneeze, not a quick cough-adjacent, or a rapid/small "eshh/ishh/tshh" type, a vocal, lengthy, defined one
think "hih'ttzshh'chiew!" or "hh'atchshew!" or "eh'rrschh'oo!"
one where you can hear each section, the breathy inhale (hihh-), the vocal release (tschh-), and the whining/relieved end (shhiew-!)
just something about getting all those parts in the experience, hearing the clear sections of a sneeze~
+ bonus points for being vocal enough to hear their voice in it~
#don't get me wrong the other types can be enjoyable too and <3 i do love me a kitten snz <3#specifically on a deep voice/man but not the point of this post the POINT is#those snzs where you can hear. each section. those are currently nestled so deep in my brain#idk a lil rapid snz can be adorable again this is not snz shame hours we do not believe in that here#but this is appreciate hours for those that are multisyllabic and you can hear. each part. distinctly.#waterfalltalks#waterfall snzarios#waterfall back again with yet another post bc springtime mixed with just hormones being hormones#has led to her being almost UNABLE to go a day without a snz thought that drives her up a wall#god idk just the snz that sound desperate and vocal always get me so bad but#the idea you could map each part out. separately. idk that's doing something to me bois#the ones that take a solid couple seconds to fully complete and so if it's a fit it's not 'eshh-eshh-eshh-eshh' like-#it's long. and drawn out. and vocal. and the kinda thing that leads to canines being shown#god idk im rambling here but if anyone else sees the vision please. share with me in this. because HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#thats the sound of me expelling all the air in my lungs and passing out directly through a glass coffee table#just incase anyone was curious. that's the mental reaction to this bc GOD i need. a stick to chew on#snz#snzkink#snzblr#snz kink#snzthoughts#snz thoughts
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this is their dynamic, and you literally can not convince me otherwise. She made all the moves. This man stood still. Wimp.
#shes literally a goddess#why didnt skyward sword end with a wedding#wait actually thatd be a horrible idea they just went through so much trauma planning a wedding would just make it worse lmao#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#zelda#skyward sword#sksw zelink#tloz sksw#i wanna bash his head into a wall#(affectionate)#im normal#shhhhh#i dont wanna use the tag meme bc i either hear old 2010s animation meme music with someones furry oc bobbing their head or pepe#funny post#funny shit#shit post#anything but the word meme.#IF OUR LOVE IS TRADGEDY WHY ARE YOU MY CLARITY 💔#...#anyways.#ss zelink#zelink
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like theyre like siblings part 2 for me
explaination or smth
#undertale#frisk#flowey#toriel#premaposting#siblings part 2 ksjadjakdnad i just realized how funny that sounds#aksjdakdjkasda#you can tell i kinda burnt out later#it is 12 am#give me slack#i like to think flowey was adverse to the friendship#since yknow#deja vu isnt fun when its associated with a bad memory#but eventually was kinda chillin#oh yeah this point only frisk knows he's asriel thats it#imagine your adopted child pulls up with someone who you dont recognize as their biological son#but no one tells you#i like to think that flowey overtime would kinda care about frisk more#but also be like#100000 ft wall bc this is all feels too familiar for good but more freshly bad reasons i dont like that#im sorry if this explaination barely makes sense#im kinda trynna rush this rn#but uh#click linked post for slightly more clear explaination idkdsnadkjajanska#utpyrt
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destiny & his deity; part two
#the museum#the gallery#im posting this so late so i have no idea if anyone will see this buuutt yeah#tried to make charlie boy look as haunted and tormented as possible#shes basically become a figment of charles imagination so to everyone else he is literally just. talking to a wall#& everyone just accepts it bc yknow. ferrari's haunted!#saint ferrari#charles leclerc#formula 1#f1 fanart
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theres people that build the entire map of botw in fucking minecraft and im sitting here for the 100th time within less than a year crying bc i cant draw a line how i want
#ganondoodles talks#and yet i have more and more in my head#i keep thinking of more and more things i want to draw and show and it keeps piling up#i have always been drawing “at a loss” bc my body is fundamentally unable to keep up with my head#so theres tons of things that just kind of died bc i couldnt get them on paper fast enough#but now it feels even worse#bc i cant get anything out#its not like a clogged drain that drains like half a liter over 5 hours like it used to#its fully clogged but the tap is turned way up so its just getting more and more and nothing gets through#and im tied to a post forced to watch as it rises and spills not able to do anything about it#its so dumb#i know i have enough skill to do the shit i want to do right now#but it just blocked- unavaible- paywalled perhaps but who do i pay and with what#all that is already bad enough but i also have to feel really stupid about it#stairs i have walked up before but now im just standing in front yelling and crying#getting invisible walled by myself but also dont know how to get rid of it or cheat it- which is stupid#shouldnt i know how to get through??????????? yes. yes i should.#maybe i should just not allow myself to even open the browser at all so i can at least stop making these posts#better for everyone probably
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this stupid ass show's timeline is so fucked up omg
according to the wikia, the year is 132 AC, which is already stupid in and of it itself but whatever, moving on.
I think it was last episode that they say that Daeron is 16, which is fine, okay, but then you remember that according to the timeskips and the wikia, Helaena is 17 and Aemond is 17-16. Jaehaerys & Jaehaera are 4 years old, so Helaena had them at 13, which is just.... yikes. But did Alicent have three children in two years? Why is Aemond's birth so uncertain when all the other major characters have birth years?
Alicent says that Gwayne was 8 and motherless when she and Otto came to court, and yet in episode 1 of the first season, Daemon mentions that Otto's wife died recently and we see Gwayne was old enough to participate in the tourney.... are there two Gwaynes or did the writers forget that they had already introduced his character? Also, him saying that he is the oldest son and should be raised at Oldtown is so stupid, because Otto is the second son and none of his children will inherite the Hightower, not unless his brother's kids all drop dead, which we know doesnt happen in the books (though they could do that in the show, who knows).
the writers make such stupid choices in regards to the timeline. Why did they make Joffrey, Aegon III and Viserys II so young when it is going to create so many problems for the narrative later on? How is Aegon going to flee on dragonback when Stormcloud is the size of a cat? Is someone going to rescue him and leave Viserys behind? One of the reasons Aegon III was so broken is because he was forced to abandon his brother and he never forgave himself. how can that happen in the show when he doesnt even have the ability to properly eat by himself?
and now they made Hugh Saera's son, when he looks like he is the same age as Daemon, and Saera was only 14 when Daemon was born in the books? hell, when he was born she hadnt even had that whole scandal business.... not to mention that they make it see like Hugh was born in Westeros, probably the Crownlands or even King's Landing itself. Are they trying to say that Saera worked at a brothel in the city while her father was king?
#sorry this is a vent post bc this show is pissing me off so much#a song of ice and fire#hotd#house of the dragon#just say u have no respect for the source material instead of calling yourself the keeper of the lore or whatever the hell#and then saying that aegon i was in valyria#or that jaehaerys went to the wall with alysanne#and that cregan's father was the one to receive them when alysanne went there 50 years before cregan was born#they make no effort to have a solid timeline#im getting so many d&d flashbacks yall#anti house of the dragon#anti hotd#yapping 4ever
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i fucking hate the ppl on my main holy FUCK
#venting here feels safe bc u guys are all cuties#ppl are now psychoanalysing the posts that i like and complaining about that LIKE ???#even tho my fucking likes are private ??#ITS SO FUCKING WEIRD AND CREEPY#if you care about me liking a few posts and have to send me a whole ass paragraph about it then it’s time of u to get off tumblr#IM A STRANGER TO YOU LIKE DONT BE FUCKING WEIRD ABOUT A FEW POSTS I LIKE#this is like a new low i’ve hit on there#ppl on there always complain about every little thing i do but liking a few posts even tho i have my likes on private so they have been#watching me and monitoring which posts i’ll like it fucking WEIRD#like let me blog and peace n u need to fucking get off tumblr because there are WAAAAAY worse issues in this world#and if your only concern in life is what posts i like then ur fucking pathetic#and then there’s also the ppl in my inbox telling me to deactivate and disappear because i’m so talentless ijbol#girl im literally a random stranger on the internet posting harry potter smut why the FUCK do u care this much about me n my blog#FUCKING PATHETICCCCC#i hate being on there i wanna bash my head against the wall everytime i open my inbox and see the bs that’s in there#but BLOCK AND MOVE ON#thankfully i get tonsssss of sweet asks and im sooo grateful of that#so i just focus on those n that’s what keeps me goin#SRRY FOR THIS WHOLE FUCKING RANT DJDDK i js woke up n i got pissed off#hate usually doesn’t affect me tho but lemme like posts in fucking peace u creep
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...
#like why am i close to tears rn SKDKSKSKSSK i just feel he is in love and happy frfr bc he only posts corny shit like that when he is All In#and like!!!!!!!!!! it makes me so happy!!!!!!!!!!!#that's the one part..... the other thing that's driving me up the wall is that's it's literally megan........ dksksksms like.#it kinda feels like a friend of mine started dating a celebrity DHDKSKSSK I KNOW IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BUT LIKE. THAT'S MY FRIEND KLAY FROM#MY SPORTS. MY LITERAL BBY.... my blorbo from my sports is dating megan thee stallion OKSHSSBSNSMD#i know he's a super famous athlete but he's also my guy who only i and a handful of mutuals truly Know and Get💙#ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IM SAYING??????#gonna delete this in the morning bdjsmsmsdm
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someone pulling the collar of their shirt over their face– just to completely stifle into it, rendering the act of covering purely for politeness' sake
#idk this post- like all the ones i make- has probably been made before#but i was just thinking (bc. that's all i can seem to do lately like help. me. oh my god.) and#the mental image of someone's face scrunching up- eyes drifting off into the distance- nose twitching- breath catching-#maybe they stop walking- or take a step back from the conversation- shaky hands pull up the collar#their breath a vocal “hieHhh-” and you think oh? oh you need to cover it with your shirt?#don't want to get it on your hands? dont want to catch it in an arm-#just to have the 'release' (if you can call it that) be a damn near silent “ngt-chhew!” and now you go oh. *oh*.#was it always going to be stifled? were you uncertain if you could manage to stifle it?#or did you know you could and just wanted a second wall between it and the world???#idk dude im frothing at the mouth over here so im gonna post it bc that's what i do#thank you for coming to another waterfallh*rnpost#waterfalltalks#waterfall snzarios#waterfallnevershutsthehellupohmygod#snz#snzkink#snzblr#snz kink#snz thoughts#snzario
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curtis brothers & boxer breaks & knowing how to throw a punch (and still screwing it up when blinded by emotions). and i don’t mean knowing how to throw the kinda punch you see in a street fight. nobody could ever make me hate you
#I have such strong feelings on this#them + boxing being a bigger sport back in the day + the way soda and Darry have reps for never losing fights…#katie pointed out soda wrapping one hand pre-rumble could be make he got a boxer’s break after an offscreen emotional meltdown & punching a#wall—which is a whole other story bc angry soda is very rare but man you see him angry you better run.#there’s no beating the tex soda same person allegations. anyway#curtis brothers#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#the outsiders 1983#my post#also when I was at the musical yesterday during intermission the old lady next to me had been talking to the usher and then shared with me#that most of the cast has martial arts training and. IT EXPLAINS SO MUCH ABOUT GGAH AND TROUBLE. SO SO MUCH.#when you’ve got the training#you can tell the difference sometimes between choreographed punches/untrained punches/trained fighter punches#and im telling you. it’s all there in the show#which just went straight to my head ok.
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#i would kill for the kiryu wall scroll but im mad as hell they aren't selling one with both him and ichi#yakuza#infinite wealth#like a dragon infinite wealth#rgg8#ichiban kasuga#kazuma kiryu#ada speaks#horrid creatures#im not gonna bother captioning this but. it's from today's livestream#kinda surprised kinda not surprised at all nobody's posting about it but w/e#there was a shitload of other merch too but i just want the 🤙 renders#was very very funny watching people screaming in chat bc yokoyama said the words Kiwami Three#(saying it's not coming next but maybe at some point)
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my problem is that I have very little interest in Ashley interacting with the characters she canonically interacts with tbh. like I want to see both post RE4 Ashley and post RE4 Serrennedy, but not post RE4 Ashley and Serrennedy, y'know? let Ashley be on her own or with a woman. (platonically or romantically idc just need her with a woman tbh) she doesn't need to be shackled to the loser that saved her once for the rest of her life.
#ive rambled abt this before i know it's prob my most scorching re take of all time but i just really struggle to imagine leon staying in#contact with ashley post re4. i think he's just too traumatized and walled off. like he likes ashley and cares abt her but i don't think she#would cross his mind much after the mission is over and she's no longer his responsibility. tbh i don't think luis would cross his mind much#either if he had lived and they had gone their ✨️separate ways✨️ after. i'd say luis was slightly more intriguing than the average rando#leon meets on missions bc of his fucky past and then his death was what cemented him in leon's head. if he lived and fucked off leon would#probably wonder abt him once in a while but wouldn't be as obsessed/down bad as he is in headcanon. im not being contradictory im just#capable of separating headcanon from canon. i will always write leon being super down bad and obsessed but objectively i don't think he#would actually be THAT attached to luis. so like also i understand why ppl have leon being attached to ashley bc i do p much the same thing#i just personally don't find the leon and ashley dynamic all that compelling like i do serrennedy. i want her paired up with different#characters that i think would have more intriguing dynamics and stuff going on
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pissed tf off because 1) i have once again put on a new show thinking i could work on shit with it in the background without getting distracted (and failing miserably)(when will i learn). 2) i have a new character that i want to tear apart with my teeth which pisses me off even more because 3) it is EMBARRASSING how much i like this character i could fucking feel my pupils dilating and my prey drive activate literally immediately 4) it is even more embarrassing bc he is so embarrassingly my type that im pissed tf off that i never watched this before now or literally any time i wasnt busy. and this all leads to 5) now i have to think about killing him when i am TRYING TO GET SHIT DONE and it's making me mad it's pissing me off so bad i'm fucking enraged they should invent a way to physically harm fictional characters just for me i think
#IM GOING TO THROW UP#for the record i started watching this show like 3 days ago (the exact same time i stopped properly working on my valentines cards....)#and every day since ive just been like [thinks abt the character] adkjddhsjhahsjdlkakhsghdfashsjkhhds asjhdajsjdhvamnbsmbashjbdnasnd#*starts banging my head against the wall* skjsjhgdjakdshhjsjahjdsada ksdjhjajhadjhkadsjmkajdjs#but like it's not at light yagami levels okay. but i can see it getting there. but i cannot let this happen. but it Could. u understand.#literally my sister asked off-hand what i was watching and i fucking put it down adn started pacing and ranted abt the show#and The Character for Literally an hour when i was on like s1ep5#okay we're far enough in the tags for me to admit it's hannibal Yes i know there is a lot of overlap btwn dn and hannibal fans No i still#didnt watch it for the longest time idk why BUT Why didnt anyyone tell me that will graham is like that. like yeah i knew some things#abt hannibal but i didnt know will was Like That. like i feel sick. i also didnt know about the glasses why havent i seen the glasses#before im losing it im going to throw up and im not kidding i feel physically ill. this is likely bc i ate peanut butter which apparently#makes me feel sick now. not an allergy but it's triggering a problem ive never had w pb before so like Okay ig we;re doing that now#so anyway will graham.... it's not fatal but it is bad. now watch me never post abt hannibal again bc if i start posting abt it it might#become fatal. and then i'll never escape. and like i need to be doing things like applying to schools and being sane#and idk if i can do that and also deal with more characters that i need to kill
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WHOOOOOOO is going to let puck darlington have his phantom of the opera moment with them & why isnt it YOUR muse right now
#when i was 8 years old i was so obsessed with the phantom of the opera#but i wasnt even allowed to watch the whole musical#so i made the rest of that shit up on my OWN#nothing could stop me bc i had the powers of being gay & imagining scenarios on my side#and that man AWOKE smoething within me#and thats why im like this#anyway hes just like bt puck for real#*slams my head into the wall*#posting this at 1am so no one can see me at my most vulnerable#&&. OUT OF BONES!☠ 𝐎𝐎𝐂。
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Started stressing out abt this idea when I read through crashing's and eldette's reblog of my reblog of pen's post (GO READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T BTW /srs HERES THE LINK.) so I'm gonna make this post for my own sake; and yes, even though it was so long ago, it's never left my mind.
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I'm also gonna put this under a cut, despite my original plan not to, bc I've seen everyone sharing the same ideas about this whole "we might get found out" notion. However, this still is a conception abt/for myself that I sincerely want people to see and understand/to talk abt, even it's not directly related to the "rpf community exposure" itself, so yeah. While this post is definitely unnecessarily long, esp considering how long it's been since the incident that prompted me to write this, I still think it's worth posting; Especially considering the fact that I don't think the "rpf-community-exposure-situation" will get better from here. Either way, thank you guys for understanding and reading. /srs /gen
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I've been pretty scared to reveal my really negative side within this community just bc of how I try to come off as/get perceived - i.e. the reason I use emoticons - so I haven't ever really fully crashed out in a post like I did previously. Even seeing Eldette's and Crashing's reblogs, they definitely put it a lot nicer than I did, which is fair and also credit to how probably they are irl; It's just that I think I'm very different regarding which parts of myself I expose to others, and you guys in particular, especially regarding my anger. I'm not going to edit that post because I think it's the blunt truth in the most unapologetic way possible, which is truthfully the way I am, but I hope that you guys understand that my negativity in those kinds of posts is not the same personality i have when I go about posting my regular things about the guys n stuff :_)
For that matter, I hope y'all don't see me differently or have a warped/changed view on personality/character. What I mean by this is that I'm hoping you all still like me despite seeing the bad parts of me. However, it's also something that's unavoidable, for people to not like you once they get to know the more uglier sides of you; So I guess what I want you guys to do more than genuinely like me is, that regardless of what y'all think now, you guys are all honest with me and yourself. If you don't wanna see "those" posts of mine bc they're a little extreme for you, but you wanna continue interacting with my other posts, that's fine, please do! I don't plan to post those seriously negative posts frequently at all. However, if you really find yourself really uncomfortable by those posts, esp knowing that I might slip up into that sort of personality in the future, please feel free to block me. I've blocked some pc crit blogs that I really wanted to see certain posts of theirs, but I couldn't stand seeing other posts they made, so I made a decision that was better for the both of us in the end, because I knew it wouldn't be worth it to continue interacting with them if that was how I truly felt. Either way, I won't take it personally if you do the same at all, because the truth is, if you don't like me, you just don't. Nothing I'm gonna do to try and change that, because more often than not, it's something that can't be helped. So uhh.. yeah- :,)
TLDR: If me crashing out in posts like this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to stop interacting; I won't be like that often but I do plan to let my true personality show a little more, hope you all still accept me despite what may be a very unnecessary fear of mine :)
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This is a side tangent that was written after the initial post was drafted, it's more relevant to clearing up my identity and the differences between me, my personas and my self-inserts in aus. It's too complicated to be TL:DR'ed, however, so read at your own will; it's not as important for ppl to fully understand either as the previous point, but extremely important to me and my definitions. /gen /srs.
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I've decided to label this alternate emotional state of mine (serious & comes out when talking about stuff regarding the pc rpf community, mainly as a whole/regarding the incidents that have and will continue to happen) as Rosyne, but not in relation to the april fools joke I did as "Rosyne". The personality of that "Rosyne" while blogging is more or less the personality of "Rosyne" as a character, rather than myself or my persona that's changed in regards to my self insert. I know that's all super confusing so let's just clarify:
Starry and Rosyne, by themselves, are just me; both part of my identity. Rosyne is my personality when I’m addressing serious stuff. Starry is my personality when I’m posting about anything else, aka my neutral state, and is (therefore) the name I go by on this blog. Starry and Rosyne, as self inserts, are representations of myself within fics/aus. They might have jobs/roles that are entirely inaccurate regarding my actual jobs/roles (or personal interests) irl, but they only have these in order to fit the narrative. Starry and Rosyne, as self inserts, are also two entirely different individuals, as it makes more sense than one person with two different identities. Either way though, they are supposed* to be genuine representations of myself, through and through. Starry and Rosyne, as general personas, however, are the designs of my identities; They still represent me, only giving me the ability to alter my appearance in a way I can't irl. However and more importantly, they also connect my self-inserts in aus to my identity, as they are the base design/reference for the self-inserts' appearances (which change depending on the au). I do have my general persona designs for both Rosyne and Starry, along with several self-inserts designs for diff fic aus, I just haven't posted them yet.
*This is where I've found this issue of some sorts. You see, I feel as if I've started to turn Starry and Rosyne into actual characters rather than my self-inserts within my writings about aus/fics. Especially Rosyne, although to a reasonable fault, as it's hard to characterize the part of you that only talks abt the actual pc rpf community issues. Either way, the writer side of me has become so obsessed with making them narratively-fleshed out that they don't really feel like direct representations of myself anymore; They feel more like ocs whose experiences & preferences are heavily influenced by the ones I have irl, and whose names are related to me, but they're unrealistic to what a direct 1-1 self insert/representation of myself would be.
I still plan to write about them, especially in regards to this post, but not only are "the-things-they've-experienced" not accurate to the things I've actually experienced irl, but they are also a bit more dramatized in general just for the sake of narrative/creative writing. Not to say that"the-things-they've-experienced" aren't influenced by my own personal experiences, of course. After all, aren't all of our ocs reflections of ourselves/our irl journeys/stories? Just expect me to continue anxiety tagging "dont-take-this-too-seriously!-(´ ᗣ ` )՞" in all my upcoming posts/drabbles about my TTOS "personas"-
#is this an overreaction? probably.#but i have crippling anxiety and i thought abt this whole thing for WEEKS while not posting it mainly bc everyone moved on#from the initial situation and i was trying to find a good time to post it- idk its better now than never at this point#(i shouldve posted this in regards to a post i talked abt with eldette but that was also weeks ago so whatever man-)#its just social anxiety getting perceived wanting to maintain friends while being true blah blah blah#exsistential fear of ppl genuinely not fucking with me anymore after seeing that side of me is real and i hope that its either unnecessary#or that it does help those who may actually have some semblance of this uncomfortable opinion about me now-#again it's just something that I was brought to think about during that whole situation and then i COULDNT get it out of my mind#so now weve all ended up here-#serious starry posts#pc rpf#rpf#pc rpf community#i also needed to post this regardless bc of what i said abt the definitions#bc of an upcoming post i have about my persona which im finally getting around to showing off-#shes been in work for a while so yeah#im honestly cringing at this brick wall of text that's probably so uneccesary but god if i didnt spend an hour writing it-#im posting it and jst leaving it EXCEPT for the second part which im gonna reference a ton in the future but im not seperating the two#bc they are technically related between my negative personality; rosyne as a depiction; and then my struggle with my self inserts#anyways yeah just gonna leave this here and dip-#starry's sona(s)
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brother still rewatching atla......... its the second season and ty lee just made tea for azula and passed it to her........... so casual........... so domestic........... and azula just took it completely thoughtlessly........... the implicit trust........... the complete faith........... my tyzula heart😭
#backlogged rambles#<should i make that a tag??#im not gonna do it girl i was just thinking abt it......... (im gonna do it)#atla#tyzula#ive been rly mentally ill abt them as of late idk what to say#tyzula fic in the works rn (will never be posted bc i cant finish a fic to save my life<3)#help the walls of my enclosure are closing in and the toxic lesbians are going rabid in my brain
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