#bc if i dont ill only talk about how bad i feel and my eyes will water everytime someone else catches them

[girlivealwaysbean]

hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now

[sludgeguzzler]

I get so so worried for no reason. Noo reason at all. And then I get home and write in my journal about it. I write: today I got nervous worried and anxious for stupid reasons and it was so bad I wanted to cry. Curse you, disorders. Curse you a hundred billion times

[d3stinyist1red]

out of everyone on yandere town, yan cowboy is definitely my favourite <3

YESSS IKR HES SO CUTESYY

yan cowboy who wants you to ride him badly

yan cowboy who first meets you when you stumble upon his farm, literally the cows were gonna jump ur ass until he popped up

"hey there, sweets! What'cha doin' around here?" He asks, looking at you with a tilted head as he pat the cow's head. "U-uh, sorry i just-" you got interrupted by the cowboy laughing at ya.

"ma, why do you seem so nervous? It's alright!" He said grinning down at you, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and introduces himself.

yan cowboy who is now ur buddy, talking to you every second of his fucking day like damn lil bro chill

yan cowboy who you began seeing everyday, coincidences piling up. No matter where you went, he was there, lingering just at the edge of your vision.

yan cowboy who wants you to ride with him and his horse everyday, holding onto your waist as he leads the horse on where to go, your back to his front, slowly rubbing himself against you.

yan cowboy who is a possessive and jealous freak. Any interaction you have with others, specifically other men, makes his jaw clench and his eyes narrow. He might not say anything at first, but you’ll notice how quiet he has gotten.

yan cowboy who confronts you about the man you were hanging out with earliar

"Hey darlin', what was that man tellin' you? Why were you talkin' to him? Do you think hes better than me? Sweets, im sorry. Darlin' lets talk about this, okay?"

"boy i literally just asked him wheres the nearest wingstop"

"why? are you hungry? Because I have some meat for you could eat-"

yan cowboy who makes you the center of his world, if you dont talk to him hes GONNA AND WILL have a bad day, grumpy and pissed off until you talk to him

yan cowboy who has a garden his mother owns, and always gives you flowers, your favorite ones

yan cowboy who literally every woman wants bc hes fine asf, strong, and BRO HES SWEET TOO LIKE HELLO??? but he only needs you. Whenever hes talking with another woman, he always drifts his eyes away from her to try to find you, not paying attention to whatever the woman was saying

yan cowboy who literallys gets so hard whenever he sees you bend down to get some strawberries you planted, already knowing he was gonna fist himself inside his car

yan cowboy who always gives you handwritten notes

"hello n/n! I might not be able to see you today because of my mother telling me ive been slacking off since ive been leaving early from farming. But darling, you know I can't stay away from you for so long! I need to see you! Anyway baby, I left you some cash, treat yourself, aight babes? - Your lovely cowboy <3"

yan cowboy who sees you growing some plants in the hot sun and immediatly panics, he runs over to you with an umbrella. A UMBRELLA BRO

"darlin'! Its so hot out here for you to be outside! Come inside, love!"

"bro ive only been outside for 3 minutes"

"3 minutes too long! Now cmon and rest! Ill do the work, lovely!"

yan cowboy who helps you when you barely started growing plants and stuff, guiding you with his hands ontop of yours, his chin on your shoulder.

yan cowboy who sees you carrying a heavy bale of hay, and immediately scolds you

You wipe the sweat from your brow as you lift the bale of hay, determined to carry your weight on the farm. Your cowboy always helps you with everything like bro i could be independent too hoe. You’ve seen him do this like a thousand times, and you’re confident you can handle it too bc ur a bad bitch period

But before you can take more than a few steps, a shadow falls over you, and you feel a firm hand on your arm. You glance up, and lowkey you were scared it was gonna be schoolboy69 lowkey but nah their infront of you was your cowboy, eyes narrowed in a mix of worry and frustration. He was practically glaring at you, mad that you picked up something without his help, even if you picked up something as heavy as a bag of cookies he would be mad and see red like alpha dawg sigma 4000

“What do you think you’re doin’, darlin’?” His voice is low, but you still heard the irritation in his voice.

“I’m just helping out,” you say, trying to brush it off as no big deal. “It’s just a bale of hay, I'll can handle it.” You said shrugging, about to walk past him until you felt the heavy hay get off your shoulders in a quick manner.

that lil bitch took the hay and walked away but not before blowing u a kiss and saying "i love u n/n, get ready for tonight bc imma need u to blow my back OUT-"

yan cowboy who always is complimenting you, doesnt even matter if your in ur christmas pjs from 2016 he will say "id lowkey eat you out in that"

yan cowboy who is ur obsessed boy who luvs you more than he should<3

yan cowboy who is ur such cowboy who couldnt be more lucky to have you with him! <333

GUYS IM BACK FROM THE DEAD BITCHESSS

GUYS YALL COULD SEND REQUESTS BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BIT BC IM STILL WORKING ON OTHER DRAFTS LIKE THESE

GUYS WHO HAS YAN WINDERBREAKER MANHWA BOOKS PLS I NEED JAY JO AND OWEN

[chrissdollie]

rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs

a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3

SFW

chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((

i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever

he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)

sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c

but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.

out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!

when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.

you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off

one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.

you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".

for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3

imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.

you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"

you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!

u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal

but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody

chris gets a custom made $5k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((

NSFW

speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.

chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.

"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"

in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate

chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u

watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.

he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths

chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.

@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht

[ronoholic]

unfair dare | draco m. 🪄x reader| (she/her)

"Could you write an angst fic with draco malfoy? where draco and his friends make a bet that draco has to conquer y/ n, in the end he succeeds and they become a couple, but draco begins to have feelings for her, then she finds out and ends up with him confronting him and draco feels so bad😕":

*a/n: I added some adjustments to the request bc I got a little confused 😅 and im back so I just rambled on with what my mind was giving me so hope you enjoy!! &lt;3🙏🏽

“draco! draco!” his friend came

“What?” He grumbled out turning to now face Blaise

“you up for some fun?” any interest that draco had, dropped

“no, now get out” he turned to continue the work he was doing

"it involves (y/n)"

and what would i want with a skank like her?" he turned, with a look of disgust

" y'know the rumors arent true... you made them" Blaise was the only one who would notice Draco’s admiration for (y/n) but knows Draco would never admit, no he’d much rather “kill himself” in the words of the angry blonde.

"Still, ive got to hold my ground, cant go folding on my own stories" the blonde fully turned to face his friend, with a face of intrest and forgetting his work

"what about her though?"

"ask her out"

"what" he laughed out in disbelief

"ask her out, i saw the redhead talking to her"

"so?"

"she looked swooned, over the moon with him... I dare you to take her, make him mad" blaise knew you and ron were just friends, he also knew that draco didn’t know that.. and he’d do anything to spite weasley and he wanted his two friends together and to finally put aside their feud

"i dont have time to deal with weasley, blaise"

"guess someones insecure.." he hummed leaving the room.

"ill show him who’s “insecure” he mumbled in a mocking way lightly slamming his hands on the desk.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Blaise!” “Blaise!” Draco stormed after him

“what?” he asked rolling his eyes, his friend not wanting to join in on what he thought was fun

“ you’re on, after potions”

“ oh yeah?” he asked, a smirk creeping onto his face

“ and ill even drop in a hundred galleons”

“ohhoho you are most definitely on mate” they laughed sealing their deal with a hand shake.

the blond tried to think of all his strategy on how to land the girl his friend had just sprung on him, but anything he thought of ended up with her slapping, kicking or punching him, after all she was friends with those red heads; and everyone knows they how they play.

“ now welcome back to another day students, thankful to all those who still decide to come back after my well, rather boring lessons” the professor tried to joke

“ now my lovelies, we will be working in pairs.. we’ll be doing a three day long project and it will count for your final marks”

she started calling out pairs and draco tried his best to make it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you, after all he knew the teacher would do the opposite, she hated him.

her eyes finally landed on draco and she started looking at every girl watching dracos reaction until it got to you, he stiffened up and widened his eyes making it look like he was disgusted, blaise smiling in the background had her make her final decision

“ draco, you will be working with…. (y/n)” she gave an innocent smile, and he heard an annoyed sigh quietly escape from her mouth.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

( y/n)! I cant believe it, out of all people, draco?!”

“ its not like I could choose myself hermione” you replied, now slightly annoyed, this was the fourth time she had brought it up

“I know but-"

“ do you wanna switch or something? you're more concerned about this than I am!” you whisper-yelled out in the library

“no, well , yeah no.. im just looking out for you, he still y’know, acts like the rumors are true.., are you okay?”

“ugh I know..” you sighed out, sitting back down rubbing youre temples

“ its nothing to bad, I can deal with him.. i think”

“ well, if you need help you know where to find me” she gave you a comforting smile while leaving.

A few months earlier

“i told you to leave me alone (y/n)!”

“what's wrong afraid of a little competition Draco?” a young (y/n) had teased the young blonde she found slightly cute

“ no, now I told you, leave me alone or I'll make your life terrible here!” he seethed out, pushing the girl he was intimidated of to the floor.

you still tried to continue the friendship you thought you still had with the blonde throughout the time at hogwarts, until one day you noticed people whispering and snickering whenever you’d walk up or walk away from draco.

“(y/n) .. is it true? you’re my best friend I want to hear it from you.” hermione knew something was up and she needed you to confirm whether it was true or not.

you slowly looked up still confused “is what true mione?”

“they’re saying you had a few to many to drink yesterday and well went to find draco begging , and well you tried getting onto him and when he turned you away you tried getting onto blaise, also begging... ”

“what?..” you felt your heart shatter.

you walked up to draco after class and pulled him into a corner to save him some dignity “

“you absolute scum!” you yelled out while smacking him

“how could you?, honestly draco!”

“c’mon (y/n) you didn’t think someone like you could be friends with someone like me, did you he let out a sarcastic chuckle

“well I mean yeah draco I did!, I mean honestly I guess growing up with someone since they were young means nothing right?!” you were fuming, tears starting to brim your eyes but you pushed them back

“growing up?” he laughed

“yeah! seriously draco whats gotten into since we’ve arrived here? whats changed?” your heart started to hurt

“(y/n) your dad works for mine, he’s a servant, hell! he’s the closest thing to a human house elf!”

he said with a straight face, angered, but for a small second hurt crossed his face but having to keep his new character he switched back and just as fast as his face changed, he left. and so did the friendship you thought you had. walking back to the common room as fast as you could, trying to hold in the tears that were brimming your eyes.. sadly failing at the challenge you didn’t think was so hard.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“thanks for checking up on me, this whole thing has had me a bit stressed” you finally admitted to hermione

“of course, now if you need anything, anything at all you know where to find me.. oh! and tonights password it “grapefruit”” she whispered out knowing the fat lady changes the secret word every night.

you walked back to your chair by the fire place and dove back into your books trying to figure out what potions were going to be the ones you were so secure on

“up so late?” a voice that freshly woken up, asked from behind

“yes … draco” you saw who it was after turning around “after all we do have a project to get to” you reminded him

“ yes of course we do..” “ listen go up and get some rest”

“no, nope-

“yes” he said softly while grabbing the books from you

“draco i said -

“yes but i said go, now go get some rest.. i’ll tell you the decided ones in the morning.”

you suspiciously got up, backing up and walking up the stairs

“late night? (y/n)"

“yes, guess you could say the same right blaise”

“i’ve been around a few common rooms” he winked

“i don’t know why they’re still all after you knowing they’re all being used..” you joked out

“they’re used to being used” he shrugged “ like draco said, go get some rest… and again i’m sorry, (y/n).”

blaise has always apologized for the things draco has done, knowing he’s hurt the girl whose absolutely nothing to him, he felt bad never standing up for her.

“its okay don’t worry” you assured with a sad smile, like always “good night, blaise”

“night!” he whisper-yelled while walking down to draco.

"that girl, im telling you shes the one"

"yeah you and my whole family tell me, now remember what we bet on is a bet and a bet only"

"yeah Draco.. its just a bet..."

blaise had been wanting to get you two together since you were young, he noticed how happy draco was when he was around you, you were his escape inside the manor, you were the one who could flip his mood entirely, he also knew that dracos family would never approve of you two together.

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

hi im rose!

just started this blog so i need to fix it up all nice and pretty but honestly idk when that might happen lol

FRIENDLY anons/asks and dms very welcome! i love talking and meeting new people!

taken by my wonderful girlfriend, @dilliedallieallie , the actual most beautiful amazing girl in the worldddd

just a reminder, bc sometimes people forget and treat me like im just one thing- I AM A SWITCH. that means i want to and enjoy BOTH domming and subbing, and i cant do just one all the time, it burns me out. that might be different for other people, but this is how it works for me. i need as close to 50/50 as i can get, 70/30 works too.

more about me under the cut!

i just turned 19 aug 4th! she/her lesbian

men, terfs, bigots, any shitty people, and minors fuck off i will block u

im very switchy, will dom or sub whatever u need baby 😘

im more comfortable topping, and i loveeee bringing u pleasure, but it would be nice to have someone who desired me as much as i did them, even if im not yet comfortable receiving that attention lol

ive only been in 1 relationship online and never have even kissed anyone before, but ive been on nsfw tumblr for a while

i dont consider myself super femme but im definitely not masc/butch. i like jewelry and flowery clothes tho lol. i kinda just wear things and i dont have a super distinctive style. im mostly attracted to femmes but for me attraction usually comes from the face and personality, generally not style, if anyone cares lmao

im 5'7, i have brown hair and blue-green eyes, and im plus size, if any of that matters to yall

kinks:

praise praise praise. i love telling u how good ur doing for me and also i wanna be someones good girl

pretty girls telling me what to do hehe i love that

pet namessss ugh pet names. i use them SO much so if u dont like it let me know (but it will be so hard for me to stop ngl i fucking love pet names)

also call ME pet names and ill fall in love with u its so soft and sweettt ahhhh

anything that will bring you pleasure. when u tell me that turned u on/made u wet that turns me on sooo much

mommy kinkkkkk! call me mommy or let me call u mommy pretty girl

VOICESSS FUCKING VOICESS i have a hugeeee voice kink. make all ur pretty noises for me baby u sound so good

grindinggg i love grinding. yes bounce on my leg sweet thing

light pet play. like ill call u puppy/bunny/kitten, collars are hot, but not much more than that and im not a pet. no cages or anything more hardcore than that really

pulling my hairrr yes babygirl pull my hair while i eat u out

consensual somnophilia i love the idea of knowing someone trusts u enough to let u do whatever u want to them while theyre sleeping

MARKINGSSS ugh theyre so hot. ive veryyyy possessive i want u to be MINE if im into u. so yes marks are so hot. giving AND being given

also reciprocal possessiveness??? jesus christ sign me up. im urs and ur mine and now im in love

theres probably more but this is all i can think of right now

also even tho i dont personally enjoy something or dont have it in my likes, feel free to ask! im generally very open to trying things at least once. and some of the things i dont really care for i dont mind doing a little bit if its something my partner wanted! communication is key <3

LIMITS

heavy degradation/humiliation and stuff like that. i dont like being really mean it makes me feel bad. i will however tease u until ur begging me to let u cum <3

also dont be mean at all in any way to me ill cry

rapeplay/kidnapping or anything nonconsensual like that it makes me feel bad

any terms like daddy/cock/dick. big turn off for me

anal/butt stuff

any bodily fluids other than cum gross me out sorry

feet. u can do whatever u want with mine ig but i dont like urs no thanks

send asks and dms!! i crave interaction

CLOSING REMARKS

idrk what else to say here. if u read all this u get a cookie ig lol

feel free to ask ANYTHING im an open book and will *probably* answer honestly lol

k love u bye! mwah!

[kryceks]

nick came over to drop off my speaker that i left with him and i let him come upstairs to see the guinea pigs and we talked and it was fine but i could not look him in the eyes the entire time like i was like fine ill let you tell me about your life and ill tell you about mine but i literally can’t look at your face . i feel kind of bad because he still really wants to be friends but im like dude do you even realize how much you hurt me ? but i wont tell him that bc id rather kill myself than actually talk through that with him bc i know he’d react poorly. i know like the only way we could actually be friends is if we talk through that but i dont really want to be friends for real anytime soon👍 whatever … garth hudson jazz album

[bobatelevision]

i had to put my sweet baby down yesterday...

on thursday morning he was fine, eating and drinking fine. nothing out of the ordinary. thursday night he seems to have trouble breathing, he had discharge around his eyes, and kept making these pained noises I've never heard him make before. he had no appetite and wasnt drinking water. i bought some critical care to try force feeding him but he wasnt accepting it at all and tried to give him a mix of pedialyte + water to get him fluids and he accepted some but not a lot. i thought he maybe had some upper respiratory infection and maybe needed antibiotics, so i started calling some veterinarians in my area.

it was really late at night too so i called around and had such a hard time finding a vet to treat him bc most of the animal hospitals either:

-serviced guinea pigs

-their exotic vet wasnt in that night

-serviced guinea pigs but was closed

i was scared to even go to sleep that night bc his conditioned looked so bad, i didnt think he would even make it to the morning. but he managed to survive the night, so i called around again and was able to find a vet about 40 min away that could take him. we enter the hospital and they immediately take him in and i was in the waiting room. the doc comes out to talk to me to explain what was happening.

he had a stone in his bladder that was blocking his urethra and he couldn't urinate. bladder stones can be very life threatening bc if an animal cant pee, it can develop an infection (sepsis) and even get a heart attack. when she examined him, everytime she palpated his bladder he would be in pain, so they gave him a pain injection. they lead me into a room to explain what his treatment would consist of, and i was fucking shocked.

nearly $5k for his surgery and treatment, i couldn't fucking believe it. the worst part is there really was no plan b on his treatment that wasn't euthanasia. i felt so fucking sick, but i had to think on it more. i thought about maybe calling other animal hospitals but i already had a lot of trouble trying to find anyone to treat him at all, and even if there was a miracle situation where i could afford his treatment, it would not guarantee that he wouldnt fall ill again. on top of the fact that guinea pigs are really fragile creatures and dont have very long life spans. the procedure is incredibly invasive and could put so much stress on his little body. i didnt want him to be in more pain than he really was.

so i made the tough decision on putting him down, because i didn't want him to suffer any longer. i'm so heartbroken bc although i knew we would part ways one day, i didnt imagine it would be so soon. we spent past 3 years together, i adopted him mid pandemic bc being stuck in a different country from the rest of my family is incredibly isolating. i gave him so much love and spoiled him so much. he ate veggies & hay to his hearts content, would start cui-cuing at the sound of a bag being opened, he got to sleep in the largest and comfiest pet beds. he used to sleep on my nap while i gamed or watched shows. he was very skittish with people, except for me bc he knew i would give him the world. i'm feeling so defeated rn. i stayed with him til the very last moment, he was very sedated but soo cuddly in the last hour. the only thing to bring me peace of mind is knowing he was relaxed and in no pain in his final moments.

he doesn't know the amount of people that love him around the world, even as far as Australia. he had an impact on many people. all my irls and my online friends absolutely adored him. even my mom, who is deathly afraid of rodents, thought he was so cute and precious bc of how fluffy he is. his departure left a huge hole in my heart. when i got back home, i bursted into tears looking at his empty enclosure. im so used to him jumping around and getting quirked up when he hears me enter my room. i just cant believe i'll never get to see him, or hold him, or even feed him again.

Rest in Peace, my beloved Taro.

I love you so dearly, you may very little but you had a very huge heart.. and appetite. You will always be missed and I hope you are enjoying large quantities of lettuce in cui cui heaven.

[ghostismybbygorl]

Okay heres how id vibe with cod characters

First off i think my call sign would be 'mouse'

Bc im small i can scurry around places pretty quick and i can escape out of a situation fast as well that or cause i sneeze like a mouse

Id be a sniper and demolition expert ngl

Price

Legit i would call him dad 24/7 not like in a daddy kind of way but like legit a father figure

he'd just roll his eyes and accept the fact that he has another kid he has to take care of

100% would smoke a cigar with him though id smoke those tiny cigarillos (my brother smokes cigars and ill smoke a little with him)

Gift giving is my love language so whenever id visit a new country id buy him a cigar from there

I have a hat like his and i WILL wear it around and mimick him

Id do the grunts and everything

I feel like id be on more missions with him than anyone else

Definitely would hang out in his office to keep him company and annoy the shit out if him

Soap

Dont let anyone near us

Like

AT ALL

wed be doing diabolical shit especially since im an arsonist and free will plus military grade explosives plus mouse and soap. have the fire department on speed dial

We'd be the reason price is greying faster

100% stealing his shirts and hoodies they'd be so big on me

Im gonna be up front with this one

We'd be fucking. I'm down bad for this man

We'd annoy the absolute piss out of ghost. He can handle one soap but TWO hes gonna need the backpack leashes for us

Quoting vines and tiktoks ON THE DAILY

Jam seshes in the car would be 100% perfect

We'd have a snap streak and its only stupid photos we take

Im recording everything he does i know damn well hes always in a silly goofy mood

Definitely in the blunt rotation

He's definitely the type to find my snack rations and eat them in front of me

Lots of hugs and kisses for this man

Except when he eats my snacks

Wed play fight all the time. When i'm really close with someone ill start "beating them up" (just be faking to fight you)

Ghost

Oh this poor poor man

Have sympathy on him because he's going to try to avoid every ounce of my being

And i wont stop that

Im giving him hugs left and right this man needs some love

I feel like once i start cracking dark humor jokes he'd open up to me

100% would be making the most absurd worst dad jokes and laughing about it

We'd text on the daily mostly just me sending him memes and him sending a 👍🏻or a 👎🏻

Im stealing his hoodies and his masks

Id probably piss him the fuck off to be honest

Id give him so many gifts to make him happy i know he crinkle's his eyes when he smiles

In the blunt rotation too but i think he'd just join for the company and not smoke that much

Id be over in his room if im overstimulated and i don't want to deal with people

Id have him proof read my fanfiction and he'd be my personal dictionary cause i cant spell for shit

Gaz

Did i say big brother vibes cause HE WILL BE MY BIG BROTHER

Id steal his hat so many times but like not in the ride a cowboy kind of way

Id buy him the most ridiculous hats and he will 100% wear them

I feel like he was a spondgebob kid so i know damn well we'll be quoting some of the lines

Part of the blunt rotation as well

When I'm upset he's the one id rant to

Definitely would vibe in a room without talking to him in general

He's most definitely the one to keep me from being unhinged

Totally would listen to murder podcasts together

So at my previous job we had to wear full body harnesses and we played this game called the carabiniere game where you take a carabiniere and hook it on to someone without them knowing and you see who can put the most on them

Soap, gaz, and i would be playing it 100% all the time with each other.

Id also grab them by the harness and pull them around or clip myself to them

Let me get a video from my old job and just put em here and id just explain

Okay back to writing

Laswell

Once again id call her mom and she's just gonna have to deal with it

Id definitely spend time with her outside of work (especially since she lives in maryland my family lives up there) which gives me more of a reason to visit her lol

Shopping sprees i feel like she's a frequent shopper at tj maxx and target

I also feel like she gives the best life advice so id come calling if im in a predicament

Okay so i am partially fluent in spanish, my god mother and best friend are Mexican so I've been around Mexican culture the majority of my life

Alejandro

definitely calls me niña or cariño

I feel like he'd roast my spanish and doesn't correct me if i say something wrong

100% my drinking buddy

I feel like he'd be very protective over me

Id be his date (platonically) and hed be mine to all the family gatherings

Fucking Mexican families are so much fun too. party my tia throws one and im there two shots of tequila in my hand listening and damcing to music

We'd text on the daily i feel like he'd frequently visit me and my family in the south as well he'd be the life of the party at my tia's parties

Rudy

He's the one that corrects my spanish and WILL only speak spanish to me until I understand whst he's saying

Insert him pointing to a random object and says it in spanish

I feel like we wouldnt bond much but we would you know?

I also feel like he gives great life advice

Graves

Id kick him in the balls

He's the type of guy i avoid or ruin his reputation

Absolutely despise him

Completely roast that motherfucker

Drop kick him

He pisses me off so much

Gives off leo and cancer energy

OHOHOHOHHH AND AT THE BETRAYAL SCENE DONT GET ME STARTED

Id 100% try to fight him even before Alejandro would

Tbh id probably get killed by one of his shadows bc of it

König

Sweet babe i would help him through an axiety attack

PIGGY BACK RIDES FOR SURE

id hug him every-time i see him

Definitely would say uppies and have him put me on his shoulders

He definitely wont see me at all ( im 5'4) so he would definitely have to crouch down to see me

His nickname would be bear cause of how big he is

I feel like when he'’s comfortable around you he’s very out going

I have no clue how to speak german but i will act like i do

He's in the blunt rotation as well

Thats all i got for now 😊

[elytrafemme]

ik talking about eating disorders online is like the number one evil i guess but can we be really candid and fucking honest here. It is so goddamn humiliating to know that you are (1) sick (2) low immunity for other reasons (ex. menstruating) and know that the best way to fix this is to eat food and just like. Only being able to manage a very small amount of food that isnt even a meal. my entire perspective on food is warped and i have to constantly lie about it to doctors and family which fucks up the history needed to understand diagnoses but i cant like just Say This. going thru the worst week of my life stress wise and knowing stress causes illness but not being able to eat because you just want to focus on whats causing the stress and eating is also stressful. no matter what you eat its never the Right Thing. the only thing reminding me to eat is social factors but not being able to leave my room without feeling guilty or scared so there goes that. this has been the worst series of months with my ED i have ever experienced and its slowly killing me emotionally because I want to get better so bad I want to feel less humiliated. Having an eating disorder is so fucking scary and so fucking embarrassing in every way it can be and I can't talk about it to a lot of people because they also have ones and i don't want to trigger them but I cant talk to people without them bc they dont get it and think im not trying but i am. And me trying sometimes looks like me eating slices of bread and a bit of chocolate and crying my eyes out about it and I would do anything to not be like this. to understand how people eat. TO understand the routines they have to make it a priority. Bc now i am sick and i am being told to eat and my stomach hurts and i feel like such a fucking idiot but i cant stop. Its never about calories or weight for me its sometimes about control but its mostly because developmentally people figured out how to have food independence or whatever and I just missed that mark and now im like. Crying in a dining hall over a little bit of potatoes trying to comprehend nothingness . I dont want to be skinny i dont want to be perfect i dont want to be pretty I just want to stop being so scared. Its a demon of fear and i am always so terrified Im trying everything i can to kill it. Im trying so hard. It looks like im swinging at air.

[yuukei-yikes]

omg elaborate on your traumatic childhoods for hibihiyo + takane .... iirc takane is raised by her grandma right?

oh!! well it's nothing super awful compared to everyone else's

my hc for hibiya comes from the fact his parents lock him out of the house when he asked to go to the city😭😭😭 the only way they agreed was bc he said he'd study but even like that they didnt want it he had to lie abt a special course abt india and pretend he was obsessed with india. which is a very funny bit BUT yeah they lock him out of the house at night. with WOLVES.👎 awful move amamiyas.

my hc actually leans a bit more to what the anime shows since in the novels both his parents do that but in the anime it's the dad. so my hibiya hc is he comes from a Toxic Masculinity Household. he's from an old fashioned farmer family in a small village yknow (they have a dojo in the anime buuuut farmer hibiya is real 4ever👨‍🌾 idk why the anime did that. idk why the anime did many things)

anyways so his dad biggest piece of shit person alive. his mom. his mom is NICE hibiyas definitely close to her while he's afraid of his dad but i think she is maybe the kind of mom to break down all the time and be like oh poor me my life is misery and hibiya feels responsible for her. like she is not bad shes just been married to an awful awful guy for many years, she's a victim but also makes it very known she's a victim. hibiya definitely is the type of kid who feels like he has to shield his mom. hibiya's mom i love you. she is said to pour him tea in the hallway while he waited for hiyori to call him (before locking him out of the house but like i said im ignoring that it was just the dad 2 me💥👨‍🌾)

FOR HIYORI look ayaka literally ESCAPED from her parents. hiyori didnt KNOW she had a sister. and they're rich people. i think they're very old parents and hiyori is a last minute kid bc their first one was a Bust according to them so they'll have another Heir and this time do it RIGHT that means eyes on her all the time, giving her 0 autonomy but also absolutely everything material she asks for so we keep her under control. something like that. just very controlling parents but i also hc hiyori is so off the rails after the august in the city and they're pretty old already so they're like Ohhh god. and they're always fighting lol but before that hiyori was like Yes sir with them. think the northwests in gravity falls lol

and for takane I've obviously talked of her. but answering what u said, honestly we dont actually Know if she was raised by her grandma. and if she was, it's her grandparents! both!! her grandpa was around til his death, which is implied to be a little before or after takane starts highschool since he picked that school for her. her parents work overseas but her grandparents take charge to the point they're choosing what school she will go to etc, you know?? these arent headcanons btw that's all canon. we just dont know.... why. im so curious bc it's so oddly specific lmao like why werent the grandparents just. parents. but no. she's said to live with her grandma but used to also have a grandad and her parents work overseas. like. what. what was the need to come up with all this bro

anyways my headcanons. i do hc she was raised by her grandparents. since the parents work overseas im assuming they're very career oriented, and since the grandparents are both individually mentioned to be super worried about takane's illness, im assuming the grandparents were like can you STOP taking this sick kid from place to place and the parents were like fiiiine. here u can have her😐 and that's it lol i dont think they're rich parents or HORRIBLE PEOPLE i know it's popular to hc them as these Awful Horrible People i personally think they aren't Mean. they just are not AROUND. i dont think they'd be mean to her if they saw her i think they'd just sit there rly awkward like so... how is school going.... but they Won't because they Don't care👍

my extra hc is that the grandparents dont get along with the parents bc of this, or they're like wtf how did we raise someone who ABANDONED THEIR CHILD. so they raise takane with that in mind a lot and amd and and they're family.... and love each other... we do also gloss over takane losing her grandpa i know it's cuz its BARELY MENTIONED AND ITS AN ODDLY SPECIFIC DETAIL WE JUST. HAVE. but she was like 15 or 16 when he dies bro u_u fuck the tateyamas crying for ayaka can i see how my girl ene was doing losing unnamed grandfather

[thepointofme]

as an aroace girlie who's also a swiftie my favorite thing to do is to take taylor's songs/lyrics and shift to a friendship pov, even the ones who are obviously about romantic relationships, bc this ability is a gift and taylor did so much for me with ttpd (the album and the song) as a someone who’s dealing with the pain of a long term friendship breakup. i mean like look at this:

who else decodes you???????? who else knows you like i do? do the new people in your life know your fears and dreams and hopes like i did? do you open up in the same way you used to do with me? do they welcome you with open arms in the same way i used to?

your bad days were never ugly to me.

there's something very delicate and vulnerable and complicated about having someone in your life who's broken mentally and emotionally (even more when you're broken as well), because sometimes there's nothing you can do for them especially when they dont let you help them. to watch them slip through your fingers slowly like sand and the only thing you can do about it is to sit down and watch. to watch them change right before your eyes and still feel like you're in the dark because they won't allow you to be part of it.

the way i told you things i haven't even said it out loud to myself. ill never exist to someone else in the same way i used to exist to you because no one knows me like you.

the scruciating pain that comes with losing someone you hold so close to your heart they might as well be part of yourself, how in these few months since we stop talking i cry every time i think about you. we were so intertwined it will take years for me to become someone new.

like yeah. it feels like i have this ghost over my shoulder everywhere i go because you left your typewriter in my apartment and you can't take it back because its a part of who i am now and because ill never open my door for you to step inside again. you will always be my person and i wish you all the happiness in the world in the same way i wish i could forget about your existence.

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….

mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next

(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)

dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.

i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33

HI ARI BABY!!!

it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).

what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment

i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...

and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!

another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.

oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)

wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around

he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie

OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)

also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!

ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)

thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[narwhalandchill]

ok misc stream thoughts!!!

ANYWAY livestream over nice 30 pulls of aventurine funds for anni!!!! they didnt do anything insane but honestly it was kinda cope to expect them to, ratio for free was clearly a more of a spontaneous move and hes available throughout anniversary anyway so the "another 5*" were.... a little over the top im sorry wjkjwdjkwdjk altho i wouldnt have complained obviously. a free himeko or sth couldve been on theme for the cosmodussy event but eh cant be helped

im actually glad for the skippability of the reruns 😭😭 like i have luocha n jingliu (+ LC for latter) so by skipping acheron for now im gonna have a nice time getting aventurine and most likely his LC (2/3 of his 4* LC selection is so sad tho), love that fucker hope he gets to do proper mayhem in story too. cool death talk please dont actually die yourself for real for real tho i will be sad. like i do think its based of aventurine to pull off a stunt that appears to be what we in the business might call a certified chapter 5 komaeda moment but. ahahaha nooo dont actually die youre such a funny hat man .

(also sick boss form is sick but . bootleg FL im sorry aventurine. they hit perfection already and theyre never fucking topping the galaxy cape cyclops eye beak mask drip i swear JSWJWJDKWJKDWJK but also yes me biased? in favor of that ginger? i could never)

but it seems ill have a solid time getting aventurine and saving up for now??? since i dont think im too interested in robin or boothill either. i was kinda worried topaz' rerun would be in 2.1 for IPC antics with aventurine bc i am kinda curious abt pulling for her but now its gonna be 2.2 at the earliest so. Phew

the stream ran a bit too long lmao but like overall i tend to like the dev discussions so most of it was still neat, altho downside of dev streams is that not knowing chinese i cant just like. afk and listen on headphones and go get water or something 💀💀 and they were definitely dragging stuff out on purpose no way they werent but eh. people will live its just bideo game livestream. and like these folks do hard work on the game they can yap about what they do sometimes its only right lmao

leakers public shaming session was definitely a jumpscare but i do genuinely empathize w shaoji on that one. like. ive always been one for kit + banner leaks first and foremost and story leaks just. i dont care for them much. ive had my share of looking at them occasionally but i definitely agree with the way story leaks either by themselves or when misconstrued and misinterpreted really fucking mess with the intended experience for any given story and how that must feel like shit for the writers. like if story leaks stopped happening altogether id be perfectly content. and thats just ppl who look at story leaks on purpose cuz. im not going to even begin w how like. yes the leaks subreddits and most big leakers do spoiler warnings and keep the story stuff spoilered. but then theres literally the entire rest of the internet where shit gets spread untagged and without warnings the second they are posted anywhere at all and how that fucking ruins peoples experiences. like its 1 thing to click at a spoiler tagged post knowingly and get ur experience messed up with. but when u dont even want to see it its rly fucking bad and i v well understand condemning all story leaks (even those properly flagged) just on that basis alone. but yeah actually felt bad for him there and see where he was coming from for sure, even as a consumer of leaks

ok well that sure was a wall of text. didnt expect to write that much JWJKWJKDDWJK but ya

Anyway. biggest priority is holding strong w skipping acheron as sick as her animations are but def looking forward to her teaser and the animated short. like . even with the black swan dykery. (that was a fucking jumpscare too). i dont need her rn. despite how cool she is 😭😭

& also have to say im v happy they clarified their stance on hi3rd references like. the way theyre going abt it is absolutely how it should be going. hsr by nature is more directly linked to hi3rd like honkai is in the name but its such a dumbass idea (like some fan takes out there....) to want the stories of hsr depend on another games lore. rewarding old fans with easter eggs and tidbits is perfectly fine and im even interested in seeing where they go with acherons obvious raiden situation - especially knowing theyre not about to ruin their own story with "it was hi3rd all along!" (not that i ever rly thought theyd seriously blunder that bad lmao 💀) . so yea thats neat

i think story wise im not gonna say much of my thoughts bc unfortunately i have clicked on like. a leak or four. not the major stuff i dont think but enough that commenting on stuff w some of the things im aware of in the periphery is going to tint stuff . but im still excited to see where things go!!!

AAND OH. ACTUALLY i do have one more thing . so the multiple POV thing being actually implemented is SOOOO good im so fucking happy theyre committing to it being a thing 😭😭😭 like SO many story pitfalls can be avoided by just letting it be that TB doesnt need to be fucking everywhere a major thing happens as the centerpiece of events so we as players can see it. like it gives a way of showing different events and sides of characters in a much more natural manner its sooo good that theyre implementing it already. like this alone has me in such high hopes for the story going forward. like yea theyve branched from our POV before already and in penacony as well but expanding on it even more is 100% the correct way forward

last thing: god they did jingliu so dirty in her concert illustration. WHAT is she wearing 💀💀💀anyway yeah lesgo 2.1 its cool

i lied real last thing: siobhan . siobhan i would do anything---

[wooahaes]

Hmmm maybe joshua, hanahaki au? 😽

oooh... tbh i think i'd straight up just go for a joshua prequel for cause you're my flower.

this is probs gonna get long so uh. tw for angst + illness depictions via hanahaki + hospital mentions + also suffocation mentions (via the flowers). if you skipped the seungkwan fic, you should probably skip this too.

like. you know how it ends, sure, but i think there's a lot to say about joshua meeting reader in their sophomore year of college and falling for her (altho i can easily go back and change details to make this gn!reader) since there's not the full story in the other fic. i think it'd be a slower thing than illustrated of joshua slowly falling until he's in love. he decides to go ahead and act by asking you out, and you turn him down because you only ever thought of him as a friend. he accepts it with a smile and says that he hopes this doesn't damage your friendship at all: he still cares about you, and it isnt your fault he fell for you. just a very clear 'you aren't responsible for his feelings, it's his job to deal with them on his own.'

except he goes home and starts feeling... off. jeonghan comes back to their apartment and joshua coughs up flower petals, and both just immediately know whats going on. i dont remember if i said what joshua's flowers were? i don't think i did. maybe chrysanthemums since they mean death in some places in the world. jeonghan tells him he needs to see a doctor, joshua says he will.

and then he just... never does since he knows getting the flowers removed means he'll stop caring about his friend. he won't be able to love you at all if they're taken from him. he thinks, still stinging from rejection, that he'd rather die than live without you in his life. he told you that he wanted to stay friends with you, how was he supposed to turn around and tell you 'lol nvm, i can't see you ever again'??? he can't.

not all cases are fatal. joshua knows this. he just hopes he'll be lucky. he stays your friend and hides the petals well, because he just can't lose you. it eats him up inside to hear you talk about some dick you like (not out of jealousy--joshua has told you over and over that the guy you're crushing on is an asshole, but you claim he's always been nice to you, and he genuinely fears for you).

jeonghan fights with him. he calls him an idiot, and tells him that his mom keeps begging him to say something??? to find a way to convince you? she's tried so hard to get him to see a doctor, and she tells him she'll be flying back from the US to see him and help him through everything. it breaks him a bit when jeonghan tells him what she said: that she can't lose her son.

just. joshua angst. hes deeply conflicted between his love for his mom and his friends and the guilt he feels over this happening all because you didn't love him back, which isn't even your fault. he reads online where some ppl talk about how they hated the other person because of the flowers putting them through hell, people who did recover well, people who didn't... jeonghan comes into his room one night and takes his phone, setting it aside before curling up with him and telling him he has to take care of himself or he'll die. his mom doesn't want to lose her son. he doesn't want to lose his best friend, either.

he wakes up in the middle of the night coughing up flowers, climbing over jeonghan to make it to the bathroom in time. the buds are getting bigger, and he just stares at them with wet eyes bc it hurts so bad. and deep down, he thinks he should just accept it. he's the one who fell for you. it's his own fault for not loving someone who loved him back.

things get worse. you catch him coughing up petals (and an actual flower, but that much you don't see) one day, before it gets bad, and you confront him about it. he tells you outright that he didn't want you to feel guilty because it isn't your fault. you remind him that it is, and he only tells you that he could never hate you. you tell him he should because you don't love him back the way he deserves to be loved. you wish you could, at least to stop his suffering. you tell him that as much as you do love him as your friend, you'll make things easier for him and let this be the last time the two of you see one another. you've been planning on transferring to a different school for a while. you weren't sure how to tell him since you didn't want him to think it was because of this--you just had better scholarships there and the program was better for your major. but since the two of you don't share any classes anymore, you'll stop seeing him entirely. with one last hug, you tell him to please take care of himself and that you do love him (still not in the way that would fix this).

he goes home and probably just kind of breaks down in his kitchen after telling himself that he's completely fine. that this is good. but he can still feel shit in his throat, and he drops a glass, and it all just kind of comes crashing down around him. he texted jeonghan on the ride back about what happened, and he said he'd be home in a few minutes but he'd stop and grab him something sweet from the store. just as a tiny distraction from how much he's hurting. he sinks down onto the floor as he lets himself cry the way he needs to, everything just kind of coming to a crescendo.

and then he just realizes he can't catch his breath anymore. he reaches for his phone, trying to breathe. the door opens and he hears jeonghan call out for him, only to hear him scream his name before immediately pulling out his phone. the paramedics are on the way, and jeonghan is doing the best he can, guided by the person on the phone to help him. by the time they arrive, he's passed out and they're already working to clear his airways and making the call for an emergency procedure.

when joshua wakes up fully (coming in and out of consciousness for days bc fucking ouch), its to the sound of his mom talking to the nurse taking his vitals. he rouses, and the nurse is gentle before leaving to get his doctor. his mom cries and hugs him tight, calling him stupid for the first time since he did something dangerous as a child. but his limbs feel heavy as lead, and he tries his best to hold her and apologize.

when the doctor starts to ask questions, joshua realizes that... he doesn't remember anything about the person he fell in love with at all. not their name, the way they look, etc. and jeonghan has to be the one who steps in and tells him that the person isn't in his life anymore. its not unheard of for joshua to not remember anything about the person he fell in love with, but it isn't exactly common. they'll check back with him in a few days since he's staying for observation until he can be released: sometimes patients wake up not remembering, but remember more over the following days.

and he doesn't. joshua begs jeonghan to tell him something while his mom is out of the room (to get a proper meal--after joshua begged and jeonghan reassured her that he'd stay until she came back). so jeonghan agrees to tell him the basics: he met someone. he fell in love. they rejected him. and then he came home and began coughing up petals, and refused to get help to the point where jeonghan came home and found him collapsed on the floor. all of it gives him a headache, but he's thankful to have a little piece of his story back with him.

uh idk where i'd go from here. i'd probs leave jeonghan's story out and unwritten for a reason, but i'd maybe end it off a few years later with joshua getting the call from seokmin asking if he could convince his friend to go through with it bc he remembers enough about the suffering he went through. and joshua agrees without a second thought, not wanting anyone else to go through what he did.