#in like. both ways tht i was considering one

[wooahaes]

Hmmm maybe joshua, hanahaki au? 😽

oooh... tbh i think i'd straight up just go for a joshua prequel for cause you're my flower.

this is probs gonna get long so uh. tw for angst + illness depictions via hanahaki + hospital mentions + also suffocation mentions (via the flowers). if you skipped the seungkwan fic, you should probably skip this too.

like. you know how it ends, sure, but i think there's a lot to say about joshua meeting reader in their sophomore year of college and falling for her (altho i can easily go back and change details to make this gn!reader) since there's not the full story in the other fic. i think it'd be a slower thing than illustrated of joshua slowly falling until he's in love. he decides to go ahead and act by asking you out, and you turn him down because you only ever thought of him as a friend. he accepts it with a smile and says that he hopes this doesn't damage your friendship at all: he still cares about you, and it isnt your fault he fell for you. just a very clear 'you aren't responsible for his feelings, it's his job to deal with them on his own.'

except he goes home and starts feeling... off. jeonghan comes back to their apartment and joshua coughs up flower petals, and both just immediately know whats going on. i dont remember if i said what joshua's flowers were? i don't think i did. maybe chrysanthemums since they mean death in some places in the world. jeonghan tells him he needs to see a doctor, joshua says he will.

and then he just... never does since he knows getting the flowers removed means he'll stop caring about his friend. he won't be able to love you at all if they're taken from him. he thinks, still stinging from rejection, that he'd rather die than live without you in his life. he told you that he wanted to stay friends with you, how was he supposed to turn around and tell you 'lol nvm, i can't see you ever again'??? he can't.

not all cases are fatal. joshua knows this. he just hopes he'll be lucky. he stays your friend and hides the petals well, because he just can't lose you. it eats him up inside to hear you talk about some dick you like (not out of jealousy--joshua has told you over and over that the guy you're crushing on is an asshole, but you claim he's always been nice to you, and he genuinely fears for you).

jeonghan fights with him. he calls him an idiot, and tells him that his mom keeps begging him to say something??? to find a way to convince you? she's tried so hard to get him to see a doctor, and she tells him she'll be flying back from the US to see him and help him through everything. it breaks him a bit when jeonghan tells him what she said: that she can't lose her son.

just. joshua angst. hes deeply conflicted between his love for his mom and his friends and the guilt he feels over this happening all because you didn't love him back, which isn't even your fault. he reads online where some ppl talk about how they hated the other person because of the flowers putting them through hell, people who did recover well, people who didn't... jeonghan comes into his room one night and takes his phone, setting it aside before curling up with him and telling him he has to take care of himself or he'll die. his mom doesn't want to lose her son. he doesn't want to lose his best friend, either.

he wakes up in the middle of the night coughing up flowers, climbing over jeonghan to make it to the bathroom in time. the buds are getting bigger, and he just stares at them with wet eyes bc it hurts so bad. and deep down, he thinks he should just accept it. he's the one who fell for you. it's his own fault for not loving someone who loved him back.

things get worse. you catch him coughing up petals (and an actual flower, but that much you don't see) one day, before it gets bad, and you confront him about it. he tells you outright that he didn't want you to feel guilty because it isn't your fault. you remind him that it is, and he only tells you that he could never hate you. you tell him he should because you don't love him back the way he deserves to be loved. you wish you could, at least to stop his suffering. you tell him that as much as you do love him as your friend, you'll make things easier for him and let this be the last time the two of you see one another. you've been planning on transferring to a different school for a while. you weren't sure how to tell him since you didn't want him to think it was because of this--you just had better scholarships there and the program was better for your major. but since the two of you don't share any classes anymore, you'll stop seeing him entirely. with one last hug, you tell him to please take care of himself and that you do love him (still not in the way that would fix this).

he goes home and probably just kind of breaks down in his kitchen after telling himself that he's completely fine. that this is good. but he can still feel shit in his throat, and he drops a glass, and it all just kind of comes crashing down around him. he texted jeonghan on the ride back about what happened, and he said he'd be home in a few minutes but he'd stop and grab him something sweet from the store. just as a tiny distraction from how much he's hurting. he sinks down onto the floor as he lets himself cry the way he needs to, everything just kind of coming to a crescendo.

and then he just realizes he can't catch his breath anymore. he reaches for his phone, trying to breathe. the door opens and he hears jeonghan call out for him, only to hear him scream his name before immediately pulling out his phone. the paramedics are on the way, and jeonghan is doing the best he can, guided by the person on the phone to help him. by the time they arrive, he's passed out and they're already working to clear his airways and making the call for an emergency procedure.

when joshua wakes up fully (coming in and out of consciousness for days bc fucking ouch), its to the sound of his mom talking to the nurse taking his vitals. he rouses, and the nurse is gentle before leaving to get his doctor. his mom cries and hugs him tight, calling him stupid for the first time since he did something dangerous as a child. but his limbs feel heavy as lead, and he tries his best to hold her and apologize.

when the doctor starts to ask questions, joshua realizes that... he doesn't remember anything about the person he fell in love with at all. not their name, the way they look, etc. and jeonghan has to be the one who steps in and tells him that the person isn't in his life anymore. its not unheard of for joshua to not remember anything about the person he fell in love with, but it isn't exactly common. they'll check back with him in a few days since he's staying for observation until he can be released: sometimes patients wake up not remembering, but remember more over the following days.

and he doesn't. joshua begs jeonghan to tell him something while his mom is out of the room (to get a proper meal--after joshua begged and jeonghan reassured her that he'd stay until she came back). so jeonghan agrees to tell him the basics: he met someone. he fell in love. they rejected him. and then he came home and began coughing up petals, and refused to get help to the point where jeonghan came home and found him collapsed on the floor. all of it gives him a headache, but he's thankful to have a little piece of his story back with him.

uh idk where i'd go from here. i'd probs leave jeonghan's story out and unwritten for a reason, but i'd maybe end it off a few years later with joshua getting the call from seokmin asking if he could convince his friend to go through with it bc he remembers enough about the suffering he went through. and joshua agrees without a second thought, not wanting anyone else to go through what he did.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[smokewars]

ahh *spins hokma around* i love u so....

[cheonstapes]

😝 omg I absolutely loved the way u wrote spider barbie!!! Thanks again so much!! 💕✨

If it’s not too much of a bother, I would like to send in another request lol. 😅 (unless there’s a limit on how many requests can be sent, I completely understand 😊)

I would like to request Miguel O’Haraxfem!Jessica rabbit inspired reader. She’s the most beautiful & generous spider woman across the multiverse, which makes sense since she’s also the most desired among the spiders. Maybe one day she’s hanging out w/ her friends (Miles, Gwen, Hobie, Pavitr, & Peter) at the spider society cafeteria when everyone in the group could be discussing their Valentine’s Day plans. Until they decide to ask her if she has a date or any upcoming plans (The spider gang not knowing she’s already married to Miguel 😂) When asked she just zones out and has flashbacks about all the multiple dates her and miguel went on throughout the multiverse, including the spicy times they shared together~ 😉

When asked again, she lets them know tht she’s already in an established relationship w/ Miguel; which makes the spider gang’s jaws drop bcuz even though miguel is a good looking guy they can’t understand how a ray of sunshine like her ended up with someone as serious and angry like Miguel 😂

The spider gang could ask: “What do u see in tht guy?!?!” 😱 Spider-reader: “He makes me laugh..😏”

Thanks again! 😊🙏🏻

miguel o'hara stars in... 'WAIT...YOU'RE ROGER RABBIT?' (°ロ°) !

a/n ~ i absolutely love jessica rabbit, girlboss, she's so hot. TYSM for this request my love!!!! there's never a limit ( ` ω ´ ) send as many as you want bby 💗 i went a little overboard but this was so fun to write!! ALSO ITS MIGUELS BIRTHDAY!!

summary; it's valentine's day at hq, and everyone can't help but wonder why you're still single.

pairing; miguel o'hara x reader

wc; 2.3k+

cw; FLUFF!! SMUT!!, secret relationship, pining, no one can believe you n miguel are together, loss of virginity, m!masturbation, pillow fuckin, fleshlights, miguel fucks an ai you, first time, established relationship, reader is very popular, day dreaming abt miguel (real), they're just in love, nawt proofread - crying over this

valentine’s day at hq was always fun - for you least.

every year since you joined the spider society it seemed like the gifts would multiply - what stared out as some cute cards and a couple boxes of chocolate eventually turned into bouquets of roses, teddies, gifts, and even declaration’s of love. it was all flattering, honestly. to know that so many people admired you was a great feeling, even if you can’t reciprocate - it’s the sentiment that counts. but unfortunately you were already spoken for - by none other than your own boss, your fiancé, miguel. 

having started with such a beloved reputation was one of the main reasons your husband-to-be actually avoided you at first. it was like you had your own personal fan club - spiders’ following you around where you go, people offering to by you lunch, begging miguel to put you on a mission with them, showering you with compliments. you were really irritating to him, another distraction he didn’t have the time to deal with - not that he wanted to anyway. well, that was until he did. 

gradually, he started to notice how your eyes would light up when you’d see something you like, how you’d wear that one perfume thats scent would linger a bit too long in the air, ages after you’ve already sped off down the hallway. he warmed up to you eventually, leading to you two spending a lot more time together. little dates in the different universes, him picking up a little souvenir for you on missions and you doing the same - eventually leading to you two moving in together, and then him proposing. keeping you two’s relationship a secret was a decision that you both had to make, considering how popular you were and that miguel’s your boss. so every valentine’s day, you both celebrate together privately in miguel’s nueva york condo - exchanging gifts and kisses, drinking till you fall asleep in each other’s arms. this year, however, was a little different. 

hiding a relationship isn’t the easiest thing in the word, especially at a time like this - when all you want to do is pounce on your fiancé every time you see him ’n kiss him till you’re both breathless. it was getting tiring. it’s the day of love and you can’t do the one thing the day is about, love someone. you’d both send lingering glances at each other throughout the day, sneaky touches when no one’s looking, maybe even a few quick make out sesh’s in miguel’s office. you both knew you wouldn’t make it through the rest of the day, eventually separating as you sat in the canteen with some of your spider-friends - ones miguel wasn’t very keen on eating lunch with, leading to him retreating back to his office alone. 

the table was buzzing as everyone mentioned their plans for the day - miles taking gwen to his universe on a little day out that he swears isn’t a date, pav and gayatri going to her new movie, peter and mj having someone babysit mayday so they can go on a long-overdue date, and hobie - well, he doesn’t believe in valentine’s, i guess. you so badly wanted to join in, silently chewing on your ’spider-man 2099’ themed burger. your fiancé was basically everywhere, how can you not miss him - even if he’s just a couple minutes walk from you. it was bittersweet, to say the least, to listen to your friends so passionately- 

“hey, y/n, any plans this year? please tell me you’re finally dating someone.” the sudden voice made you jump, eyes widening as you look at the culprit, a sly smile on her face. “uhhh, n-no not really.” that was a lie. the whole table groaned their complaints, all still in disbelief that you’re still not seeing anyone. “you serious? love, look at you - and look at them.” hobie gestures to the crowd forming behind the table, all of them holding some sort of gift for you - some more…extravagant than the rest. “there’s no way that you can’t find someone, babe.” i mean, technically, he was right - you could practically get anyone you wanted. but, you already got what you want, and that’s miguel. 

he’s your everything. despite the turbulent start you both had, it was all worth it in the end. miguel loves like you’re his last - which you are, and his first too - in all aspects. hearing your boss was a virgin was even more shocking then him admitting his feelings for you - cause, like, how? you tried so hard not to laugh, he couldn’t be serious. it turns out he was very, very, very serious. you felt so bad, running up to him and holding him tightly - reassuring him that is was ok, that there was nothing wrong with being a virgin no matter his age. you took it slow for the first few months, nothing more than heated kisses and a bit of groping but it never went further than that. to be honest, you were scared. miguel was nothing short of impatient to feel you, to finally sink his cock into you after centuries of you denying him of that. you knew, of course, how desperate he was - but it was a big deal to you. the thing was, you were a virgin too. it was too sudden to mention so you went with keeping it a secret, but damn was it getting harder to not give in. the thought of him leaving after fucking you was at the forefront of your mind, you obviously knew he wouldn’t - but men are still men, right?

when he did find out, it went a hell of a lot better than you expected it to. both of you deciding to take your time learning each other’s bodies, exploring new likes and dislikes, discovering new kinks, and overall - strengthening the love you both hold for each other. your first time was magical. it was exactly three years ago now, on valentines day, sprawled out on miguel’s plush, king sized bed.

“f-fhhuck, feels so good, baby. are…are you doing ok, sweetheart?”

he was so attentive, making sure you felt as comfortable as possible, constantly asking if you’re feeling alright. it couldn’t have been more perfect. miguel’s large frame engulfed you as you sat in his. lap, his body pressed against the headboard. holding you close, he guided your hips slowly against his slick cock, the stretch momentarily caused a sharp pain to run through your body - miguel soothing you with sweet, wet kisses down the side of your sweaty neck. his large hands roamed your body, gripping your hips, waist, gently kneading your ass. the room felt hot, sweat mixing together as your hips move in tandem with his own - it was a prime example of love making. breathless kisses were shared, lips slotting together sloppily as you rode him eagerly - you were such a sight on top of him, a goddess sent just for him. “mig- baby, you’re so- shit, you’re so perfect.” no, you were perfect. soft skin pressing against his solid body, tits rubbing on his - slick running down his length. your moans were like a chorus of angels singing down to him, his heart almost pounding out of his chest from the love he feels for you. 

sharing a moment like this together was a turning point in your relationship. giving each other your virginities, connecting in a way you will never experience with anyone else - you were made for each other. his hips sped up, slamming into your sore cunt as he wrapped his arms around your waist. digging his feet into the soft sheets and pulling your hot body into his, lips latching onto your jaw. you still couldn’t believe he was a virgin before he met you. the way he moved, the way his tip would hit that one spot deep by your cervix, the way his thick fingers would caress your aching nipples - he had to have had some sort of experience. but the truth was, miguel had little to no sex drive. not feeling compelled at all to even rub one off, he was too busy after all - trying to keep the multiverse in tact. that all changed when he met you. suddenly, in his 30 years of living, did he have his first wet dream - and it was about you. 

he felt like a teenager again, learning things for the first time. watching porn for the first time was something, spending hours looking for a woman who looks somewhat like you - much to the interest and concern of LYLA. this was very serious to him, knowing that he would eventually fuck you - he would spend all his free time learning how to please you properly. tutorials, articles, and just plain amateur porn were his best friends. he would practice with his pillow, even buying a fleshlight to stick between it to just make it a little bit more realistic. at one point, he felt like he completely lost it. spending months learning how to fuck you wasn’t making him feel any better, he didn’t feel like he really knew how to please you. so what did he do? he made a holographic version of you, of course!

programming it to be exactly like you, using your measurements from when he made your suit to get your body as accurate as possible. it wasn’t really you, but it was good enough. he still had to work out the kinks but he was getting there. he ditched the porn completely, using ai you to progress instead. fucking an ai isn’t as easy as you think, but it was enough to help him figure out what positions he wants you in, even what ones you’d like statistically. miguel never did end up telling you about it, keeping ai you locked away in a secret folder. he was no stranger in letting you know how obsessed he was with you, but this was just embarrassing to him - and knowing you, he would never live this down. but don’t worry, LYLA’s always here to remind him time and time again. 

miguel was never the same after he lost his virginity to you - he became insatiable. it was like a switch flipped in his brain and suddenly he was always horny for you, quickies in his office becoming daily occurrences. speaking of quickies, you could feel his cum from earlier pooling in your panties right now- 

“yn? YN! is she- is she ok?” oh…you were at lunch still. everyone at the table was staring at. you with raised brows, silently intimidating you into spilling what you were so engrossed in to the point where you missed the whole conversation. you obviously weren’t about to tell them you were just thinking of their boss fucking you into next week, like come on - think about the kids, guys. “i…i, uh- it was nothing really. sorry about that, just zoned out for a sec.” it was something, someone as a matter of fact. you might as well tell them, what’s the harm in it? you’re only gonna get absolutely bombarded by everyone and anyone in hq but that’s the least of your worries. the table had seemingly moved on, chatting about their plans again before you jumped in - “actually, i do have plans.” that certainly got their attention. all eyes were on you, even the crowd still lingering behind perked up at your comment, leaning closer to hear what you had to say. 

“me ’n miguel were just gonna stay ho-“ 

“MIGUEL?!”

gasps. that’s all you could hear. everyones jaws were dropped, blinking their eyes at you like a bunch of frogs. “what? am i not allowed to spend time with my fiancé-“

“FIANCÈ?!”

it’s like every time you spoke it got worse, the table erupting in shouts of disbelief - it was getting difficult to speak over them, the constant questions being thrown at you were overwhelming to say the least. you weren’t obligated to explain yourself, love is love - even if it’s between someone as lovely and sweet as you, and someone as moody and feral as miguel. you guys made it work and that’s all that matters! someone else had something to say on the matter though, the commotion prompting miguel to emerge out of his cave and head straight to you.

“as i was saying, he’s my fiancé, we always spend valentines together. miguel is a great guy. yeah, he’s an asshole - but you just gotta get to know him.” you’re not wrong, miguel certainly seems to agree. the table went silent, staring up at his figure looming over you. “i don’t appreciate you guys harassing my wife. now, if you have no further questions - we have plans tonight, that don’t involve people prying into our privacy.” you spun around in your seat, looking up at him sheepishly. his eyes seemed to warm up at bit, a large hand reaching out to you - one that you immediately take. he held you close to him, interlocking your fingers tightly as he addressed the table. “and…our wedding is next year. you’re all only invited ‘cause she wanted you guys there. do not disappoint her.” with that, he turns on his heels, dragging you along with him - he didn’t want to deal with them anymore, not when he had the rest of the day to spend loving you instead. 

“baby, y’sure you’re ok with everyone knowing about…us?” that was a stupid question. of course he was, you’re his - and he’s yours. “you’re about to be my wife cariño, todo el mundo necesita saber que estás fuera de los límites - ‘specially that fuckin’ fan club of yours.” he was such a big baby, pouting like that. “oh my god! you’re jealous of a bunch of kids who have a little crush on me, babe. ‘sides, i think it’s quite cute - i got so much chocolate this year-“

“throw them away, i’m getting you all that and more.”

-cariño, todo el mundo necesita saber que estás fuera de los límites - sweetheart, everyone needs to know you're off limits

-the miguel figure on my dresser says hi!

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Just how much power did Marcy have over her friends pre-Amphibia? When they throw the kpop puppy party at school, the principal assumes "those two" pushed Anne into it, and Anne kind of admits it. When Anne is about to sacrifice herself, she says "all my life I've followed you two". During her one and only S1 appearance, she's seen maliciously nodding alongside Sasha when Anne steals the box, and with Marcy asking to meet up on Anne's birthday, while Sasha is the one to carry out the order, the implication is that they're almost like... working together. I know she was supposed to be "meaner" when they were working on S1, and I think they changed her personality because Haley Tju made her too adorable(? and maybe also because Matt thought the whole show would fall apart if people didn't like Marcy (considering what a huge impact she has on everything that happens, I'd say he was right). But Anne's line in THT and the flashback in All In implies she wasn't nearly as much as a doormat as it may seem sometimes, at least not as much as Anne.

Or maybe she was? Because you also see her in this place of submission when it comes to Sasha (and also Anne?), especially in BOTB, when she's happy to switch from Anne's song to Sasha's without even hearing the first, only stopping to consider Anne's approval. That scene struck me as her always happy to go along with her friends' wishes and never having much of an opinion of her own. That's why she was so desperate for them to get along during The Dinner, and why she never took a side when Anne told her she and Sasha had a fight. She closest thing to defying Sasha that we ever see her do is when she's working alongside like 10 other people to protect Newtopia from the Toad Army, and she says they had to "defeat Sasha and Grime" specifically, which I think makes sense considering they're attacking the city she's supposed to protect (she's IS a high-ranking member of its military forces AND a close advisor to its king), and not wanting to "defeat Sasha" would rock the boat with everyone else involved, Anne included. Yet we never really see her angry at Sasha for what she's doing, she just wants her and Anne to "work things out". I think it's clear that Marcy struggles with empathy, because if she put herself in Anne's shoes, she wouldn't expect her to "just work things out" with Sasha. In fact, she would have taken Anne's side agessssss ago, but she's way too focused on herself (her goal is for everyone to be happy forever and get along, while Anne and Sasha may want something else). Marcy being self-centered isn't a hot take, and I don't think she's any more self-centered than Anne was during most of S1. In fact, I'd argue Anne was even worse lol. The difference is that Anne made a million relatively small mistakes while Marcy made like two or three very big, very bad mistakes (bringing them to Amphibia, striking a deal with Andrias behind their backs, and not taking a side in Anne and Sasha's fight, which is something I never see people bring up as one of Marcy's most flawed moments).

So... going back to the question I made in the beginning... did Marcy just go along with Sasha's plans so enthusiastically when compared to Anne, who had more doubts and had to be pressured into them, that it made it look like she and Sasha were more in cahoots than they actually were? I think this is very likely. I also think it's likely that she and Sasha genuinely shared a liking for rule breaking back in LA, and her own self-centered-ness prevented her from realizing Anne wasn't comfortable with it. Maybe she never even considered if she liked to go along with Sasha's plans, like, Marcy strikes me as someone who doesn't look inwards much. I think we can rule out both Sasha and Marcy being equally controlling and possesive of Anne, because her relationship with Sasha was very much not one of equals, with Anne as a third wheel. Was she more of a third wheel? We know Anne and Sasha don't share most of her interests and will often ignore her and her needs, and we know she feels like losing them is becoming dangerously easy. We also know Sasha has no qualms taking Anne on some kind of birthday date without Marcy which I'm 75% convinced it's because she had a huge crush on Anne but I digress which, from a doylian perspective, is explained by the fact that they seemingly didn't want to show Marcy too early, but from a watsonian perspective, it just comes across as Sasha not priorizing Anne spending her birthday with both her best friends. Like, you can do with or without Marcy. She doesn't seem to remember Marcy until she texted her, actually.

But then you have lines from Anne about how "if you friend wants to you steal something, you do it, because if you don't, they may not want to be your friend anymore", which, oh boy, if she at least perceived Marcy as pressuring her into stealing the box (rather than it being 100% Sasha's idea) that would shed a whole new light on her relationship with Marcy, because it would seem like she, too, feels like their friendship could fall apart if she didn't go along with the other two's plans. And I do think Marcy at least somewhat participated in pushing Anne into it. It wouldn't be the first time she made Anne do something bad - she told her to lie to Valeriana about stealing the box, something Anne later appeared to be ashamed of, and she insisted of going along with the puppy party when Anne was having doubts. I imagine Sasha (who also pressured Anne into doing very much not so "lawful good" things, in more extreme ways than Marcy) might have come up with the idea of stealing it, and Marcy just supported it. Marcy taking Sasha's side. Possibly over and over again. We know Sasha didn't exactly manipulate her because she didn't have to: Marcy just always did everything she said. Anne was the one who needed a bit more convincing.

Marcy's relationship with Anne and Sasha is fascinating. She's definitely the most morally gray of the trio, and possibly the most complex one too, in the sense that she's full of realistic contradictions - an adorkable manipulator, an amoral softie, a self-centered sweetheart who loves her friends more than life itself, a possesive kidnapper with a heart of gold, a very selfish and self-sacrificial person... and it's never just a mask or anything, she's not just pretending to be nice, she really is that way, she really is all of that together. I think that's why people struggle to read her a lot of the times, because so much about her characterization seems conflicting with itself... but I think that's the key to making characters deep and realistic. In real life, we're all walking contradictions and we don't really make sense. Marcy's character doesn't seem clumsily put together to me, like they frankeinsteined all the different character traits she needed to make the plot work without any cohesion between them. I think she's a complex tapestry that sometimes requires a closer inspection to decypher it, and I think the glue holding everything together is her lack of intrapersonal intelligence, her inability to look inwards and notice her own contradictions.

We know she felt unloved by her friends yet desperately clung to them with everything she had, going to extreme measures to ensure they all stayed together, even when it hurt them. We know she's capable of manipulation, scheming and lying to the people that love her most in order to guarantee that goal. We know she's possesive with them, but she also loves them enough to let them go in the rare cases when she realizes she's hurting them (as seen in A Day in the Aquarium). From her journal, we also know she feels very ashamed of these possesive impulses. We know she'll neglect to form her own opinions and ideas to agree always with her friends' wishes, which means she feels completely lost when they want different things. But this also shows that she would never think of an idea of hers as being explicitly opposed to what her friends want. She wouldn't consciously do something that they wouldn't like. Which is insane, because, who would want to be separated from their family and thrown into a different world without any sort of notice? Which leads us to understand that Marcy has zero emotional intelligence and has never looked inwards in her LIFE, AND that her empathy skills are in negative digits because it would have taken her a nanosecond of thought to realize Anne and Sasha probably wouldn't like to be kidnapped. And since we know she never wants to do something they dislike, she must have just... not thought about it at all. No thoughts head empty. It really was just BLANK up there when she made that decision. I think Marcy is a very "true neutral" character who struggles with empathy and humility, who loves her friends but doesn't have the emotional intelligence to really understand them, and who is happy and enthusiastic to be Sasha 2 Electric Boogaloo because... that's what she knows. That's how her friend group works and her goal was never to have a deeper and more genuine connection to them, but to keep it close to her.

So... my conclussion is that, pre-amphibia, Marcy was Sasha's very enthusiastic (but emotionally neglected) right hand man, with Anne as their oblivious victim. It really IS complex because you have to then add Anne always looking out for her, losing sleep over her, yet also ignoring her needs, and Sasha not even bothering to hide how much she doesn't care about Marcy's feelings (which reflects on Marcy not consciously caring about her own feelings). There's also Marcy always assuming the best from them too, despite repeated evidence of their disinterest, and her fear of displeasing them looming over her constantly. Ik I said Anne was Sasha and Marcy's victim, but I meant that like... symbolically, because Anne is not innocent here either. She wasn't a great friend to Marcy before Amphibia. Here's why I always say Anne couldn't develop a deeper, more genuine and open connection with Marcy because of Sasha's oppressive presence and her own lack of emotional maturity. And Marcy couldn't develop a deeper, more genuine and open connection with Anne because of her own lack of empathy and reluctance to face any kind of conflict. So Marcy is Sasha's enthusiastic but emotionall neglected right hand man, who also feels subordinate to Anne despite Anne feeling subordinate to her. That's why they both feel like third wheels at different times. There's an illusion of Marcy with more agency and power than she actually has. In reality, only Sasha is on top, and the other two are two very flawed individuals, one slowly cracking under the weight and the other, less sensitive to the same pressure, trying to uphold the status quo.

[itsss4t4n]

Hello can I please request a Leo Valdez x reader where maybe they’re having to go up against a monster together and Leo or reader gets hurt and then there’s a really cute confession

I really like you - Leo Valdez x Child of Apollo

Warnings: mention of injury, slight angst, confession/ happy ending, , not set in a specific time, bad spanish (curses), this was my first time writing a fight scene so i apologize, probably butchered what ambrosia can do for plot purposes, No use of y/n, kith, characters are 16+

a/n: i made the reader a child of apollo bc it made for a cute taking care of the injury moment, all of the spanish is from google and english is not my first language, THIS BECAME WAY LONGGEER THAN PLANNED, this was a challenge to write but i also had a lot of fun

Going on a quest with Leo Valdez sounded pretty easy at first. He can literally make fire and is able to pull pretty much anything out of his magic toolbelt.

What you had not considered however, was how much that guy could talk. Not just talk, he flirtet. like his life depended on it. Constantly.

 Since you met him he took every oppertunity for it. Will had tried to tell you that Leo liked you multiple times but you were sure the flirting was just part of his personality.

Its not like it bothered you. It was flattering. But sometimes it hurt, just a little, to know that you were nothing special to him. Just another friend to flirt with. 

And now, in the middle of fighting against a Gryphon, it was more distracting to you than anything. 

You had walked next to each other through a forest, talking when, just as you reached a clearing,  the almost scrawny looking creature appeared. 

Its hind legs those of a lion, but with dark, almost black fur, while the front part of its body was that of an eagle, again almost black, with big wings on its back. Despite being half lion it looked closer to a hyena. The Gryphons Talons and beak glinting dangerously in the fading sunlight, as its red gleaming eyes were trained onto your bodys. 

For a few seconds it simply stood infront of them. Not attacking. You and Leo mirrored its stillness. Hoping against all odds that it would just leave. 

But of course its never that easy.

Within a split second it had launched into the air, just to swoop down towards you, talons streched out infront of its body. You quickly shoved Leo aside, both of you tumpling to the ground as the gryphons talons plunged into the earth where you had been seconds before.

As you scrambled to your feet, the gryphon flew upwards in preperation to dive down again. Within seconds you had pulled your bow of your shoulder and an arrow trained on the flying monster. 

Next to you Leo had pulled a sword out of its sheath on his belt. He had rebelled against it, saying he was gonna be fine with his 3 pound club hammer and fire, but you had forced the sword on him incase of emergency and he was pretty glad for that now.

You started firing arrows at the creature, the first few not hitting anything as the gryphon was really quick and managed to dodge them easily. The fourth one hit its hind leg but the gryphon showed almost no reaction to it. Another arrow hit the gryphons left wing making it tumble towards earth slightly. It was still in the air but was clearly struggling to do so. 

At this point the winged monster was close enough to the ground for leo to lunge at it with his sword, ducking under a talon before dragging his sword along the chest and belly of the creature, making it turn to dust.

"Well, that was easy, dont you thing princesa?", Leo turned to you with a grin, his swordarm losely hanging at his side. 

"Yea, it was." You looked away from him, because gods did he look good like that. "Too easy", you started looking around, "Usually Gryphons are in bigger groups." 

As you slowly turned towards leo again you quickly pulled up your bow, and shot the gryphon tht was about to attack leo, luckily hitting its heart dead center, making it fall to dust.

Leo had flinched slightly as you shot, but whipped around just barely catching the eyes of the monster before they disapeared.

"La Concha de tu Madre", he quietly cursed. You didnt speak a lot of spanish but this one was pretty easy to interpret as 'motherfucker'.

He slowly walked back towards you, while looking around in search for more monsters. "Okay you're right there are definetely more."

"Okay I'll try to take out as many as i can from the sky, you need to handle any that come to close." You instructed as you spotted one Gryphon above you, shooting it.

"Aye Aye." Leo lifted his sword. "I'll protect you dont worry, Hermosa." 

Again, you didnt know what exactly he just called you but considering it was Leo and his tone of voice was very obviously flirty, you assumed it was some sort of petname.

Hearing his voice as he said it made you distracted for just a split second. But that was enough for the arrow you were shooting to jerk slightly to the left, missing the Gryphon.

"Fuck", you cursed under you breath as you pull out the next arrow and aiming it at the gryphon that had almost reached you now, but Leo had already jumped in attacking it. After a few seconds he had killed it.

This went well for a minute or so, but when you had almost all of them killed , the last four attacked all at ones. Why they mostly attacked solo before you coudnt say.

You managed to shoot one, but Leo had to fend of three of them at once. You aimed at them but couldnt shoot without risking to hit leo. Leo managed to kill one but was immedeately hit with the talons of another against his side. 

He let out a sound similar to that of a wounded dog, before swinging around too face the gryphon and cutting of its head as you finally had a clean shot of the last winged beast.

They turned to dust at the same time. 

You and Leo stood in complete silence for a few seconds catching your breaths. But then Leo let out a little whimper, dropping his sword and bringing his hand up to hold is side.

"LEO!"

 You ran towards him, dropping your bow in favour of helping him towards a fallen tree on the edge of the clearing. 

"Sit and take of your shirt" 

You pulled of your backpack and knelt infront of him, taking out healing supplies as well as a small plastic bag filled ambrosia and a bottle of water.

"Wow, at least let me buy you dinner first, cariño", he flashed you a quick flirty but pained grin as he started to pull of his shirt, grunting in pain in the process.

Deciding to gloss over that comment you wait for him to get off his shirt. 

"I'm really sorry..." 

"For what?" ,He looked at you confused as he laid his shirt on the tree next to him.

You hand him a little square of ambrosia. "I probably could've shot that Gryphon before it attacked you. But I was to scared that I might hit you instead. If I would've just shot, you wouldnt be hurt now." You avoided lookin at his face but could see him eating the piece of ambrosia as you opened the waterbottle, pouring some water on a piece of cloth.

Leo chewed for a few seconds in thougt before swallowing. "That wasnt your fault. Not shooting was the right decision. I'm fine really." He tried to catch your eyes but you purposfully put all your focus on his wound. 

"Your not fine." You mumbled through gritted teeth as you started to clean the wound with the cloth. The Gryphon got him good. Three long gashes starting about an inch to the left of his belly button stretching to the side of his ribs, each almost 6 inches long. Luckily they werent as deep and only flesh wounds, not hitting any organs. 

Leo hissed as you carefully wiped away blood, the ambrosia having stopped the bleeding already. 

The wound now clean, you put the now bloody cloth aside and inspected the gashes further, carefully running your hands over them. You squinted a little as you concentrated.  

You see, your dad bein Apollo made you lucky enough to be blessed with healing powers. Nothing crazy. You definetely wouldnt be able to fully heal this, but it would be much more managable.

Concentrating on letting energy flow through your hands into Leo, you watched the edges of the wounds shrink. The whole thing going down to almost half its orinal size and depth. At this point he wouldnt need stitches.

"Wow, you can fuckin heal?!" You finally look up into Leos eyes, a shocked but excited expression on his face. 

"Yeah.." You say confused. You thought he knew that. Clearly he didnt. But to his credit you didnt do it often, as it was exhausting.

"Thats awesome! It feels all warm and tingly" He grins. His expression reminding you of a child on christmas. It made your insides feel all warm and tingly too.

You quickly looked away, clearing your throat, after realizing that you had just been staring at him for like 30 seconds like a lovesick idiot.

You could feel how his eyes stayed glued to your face as you looked through your stuff for a gauze pad and a roll of bandages.

As you looked up to put on the pad and bandage, you could see his smirk out of the corner of your eyes. He had noticed your staring. You bit the inside of your cheek as you continued to wrap the bandage around his torso. 

The proximity of it made your mouth dry and your stomach turn in nervousness. Your head was racing in thoughts. You had never been this close to him, and him bein shirtless certainly didnt help you either. You were sure your face had one slightly pink, it certainly felt like it.

When you were done you cleared you throat again and began to put away your stuff to avoid looking at him. 

"You should be fine now. Uhm... Might be a little sore but uhm.. yea.." Gods this was embarrassing . Really. 

"Hey Princesa?" He said softly, making you turn towards him with a hum in reply. "Thank you."

A soft smile adorned his face. Not a grin or smirk. The kind were his lips curled up in the corners, lips closed, no teeth showing. The kind that made the skin at the outer corner of his eyes crinkle ever so slightly. Eyes that looked so adoring, instead of their usual almost crazy look. It was an expression he didnt show often. 

Your own face softened at his expression, eyebrows rising just the tiniest bit in surprise.

"No problem." A soft smile matching Leos grew on your face. You forced yourself to not look away from him this time. You watched his own gaze observing your face, before moving back to your eyes. He swallowed, his adams apple bopping slighly.

Leo mumbling your name snapped you out of your daze sligthly. Your real name, not some flirty spanish nickname. Just you. 

"I really, really like you." He sounded really nervous. His eyes kept shifting from one of your eyes to the other before looking away for a second and then back to your eyes.

Hearing those worlds made your brain go into overdrive. Did he really just say that? Did you mishear? Is he making fun of you? He must be. But leo wouldnt do that. But there is no way he liked you right? Sure he flirtet with you. a lot. but he did that with everyone right? Why is he looking at you like that? 

You realize you've just been staring at him, not giving him an answer, and hes starting to look anxious at your lack of response.

"Me? You like me?"

"yea..."

"I- ...."

You couldnt think of a proper response. It shouldve just been a simple i like you too. Bu you still hadnt fully comprehendet the situation. 

"You know what... Just forget i said anyhing. I'm sorry I didnt mean to make things awkward or anything-" Leo started to ramble, interpreing your silence as rejection and shifting his eyes to his feet.

"I like you too!" You blurted out in panic, making his eyes snap back up to meet your gaze. "Like a lot. I like your stupid flirting and i hate it when you flirt with other people. I like when you use tha stupidly soft smile that you barely show. I like your dumb jokes even when they're not funny. I like how you always manage to calm me down no matter how scared i am. I like he way your hair falls into your eyes all the time." You look into his eyes, reaching up to grasp his hands in yours, as your expression softens. "I really like you Leo Valdez."

"really?"

"Yes, really" you laugh slighty never breaking eye contact, making Leo grin slightly.

You just look at each other for a few seconds before Leo quietly asks.

"princesa?"You hum in reply. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

Thats all it takes for his lips to crash into yours. Its soft, but intense. Your eyes are closed as his lip move against yours. His hands moving to cup your face as yours move around his neck, fingers sinking into his brown curls. 

When he pulls away you keep your eyes closed for a few seconds. Leo rests his forehed against yours, his thumbs lightly stroking your cheeks as both of you catch your breaths. 

You lean back in to kiss him again. A quick, small one this time.

You finally open your eyes to look at him. Both of you have goofy smiles stuck on your faces.

"You dont even know how long ive wanted to do that."

"Hopefully at least as long as i have, mi  sol."

(translations: Princesa: Princess, cariño: Darling, mi sol: my sun )

[hvman-scvm]

Hi, I heard you were taking requests. Do you write for Krüeger (cod) by any chance? If so, do you have any headcannons Yandere Krüeger x male military reader and how such a relationship might work out?

I do !! :) I didn’t mean 4 this 2 b so short but studying squeezed all the creativity out my brain

!! CW ;; typical yandere stuff, krueger is a bit manipulative, I went by the traditional / og meaning of yandere !!

🔪— yandere ! Krueger who, unlike lots of other yanderes, needed some time for his obsession to flow. It started when your units were sent on a mission 2gether and naturally, he gravitated 2wards the unit’s leader; you.

🔪— he treats you like you belong to him, even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship yet, because he decided you belong to him the moment he felt the nauseating feeling of lovesickness in his guts.

🔪— a relationship would b so hard because of your busy schedules, and he despises it. He’s highly considered kidnapping you but paranoia crept up on him, making him worry abt all the possibilities of you getting hurt while he’s away on deployment.

🔪— he’s always hovering over you when he can, scaring away any potential recruits tht might get a little too brave w you. And even if they did, this sets a target on their head.

🔪— he’s a very straightforward man, and he straight up told you how he felt; no matter if you accept or not, you’re his. This man is not afraid 2 lyk tht he’ll kill 4 you (and he prob did)

🔪— can b cruel and manipulative; lovebombing you, feeding you paranoid thoughts tht others are after you and only he is capable of protecting you, gaslighting you in2 thinking tht his obsession is your fault. But he won’t hurt you physically, you aren’t one of his enemies, you don’t deserve tht. Unless, yk, you like being hurt then he’s more than happy 2 oblige.

🔪— if you accept his love, as intense and insane it is, it wld b easier 4 you then if you didn’t; he’s not afraid 2 use force. You will love him. Doesn’t matter how much manipulation he has to use, or how many rivals he has 2 kill, he will have you. And by openly accepting him before it gets to tht point, you spare yourself a whole psychological battle between you and him.

🔪— not the jealous type, but he’s extremely possessive, and is very open about it.

🔪— like I said in one of the previous HCs, a relationship w him wld b hard bcuz of you two’s job. He’s alway sending you letters tht may or may not b stained w some blood whenever one or the both of you are deployed, and expects you 2 send letters back giving exact details on yourself, like your location and mental being, etc.

🔪— once both of you are free, he makes you cuddle w him. Like, bro just wraps his strong ass arms around you and keeps you in place so tht you can’t move a muscle.

🔪— it’s a possibility tht he’d use trackers on you, especially since he can’t keep an eye on you w your schedules n all.

🔪— uses force 2 get his way, whether it’s physical or not.

🔪— uses your fears against you and then disguises himself as your “savior” 2 get you 2 b reliant on him. As in, he’d put ypu in situations where you’re faced w your fears and come 2 your rescues. Doesn’t matter how irrational or bad the fear is. Scared of the dark ? You get trapped in a dark closet after “some rookie” pushed you in, only 4 Sebastian 2 come help you out. Scared of dying ? Your unit is killed off one by one by a “sniper” and you get fatally shot due 2 a lack of coverage, luckily Sebastian has came 2 cover you and practically saved your life. Scared of bugs ? Suddenly a lot more seem 2 appear in your room, and (rather suspiciously) Sebastian seems 2 b always around 2 kill them 4 you. At the end he’d always remind you in his thick, German accent tht you need him around, etc.

[bylertruther]

don't have the words to string together in a way tht pleases me, but the whole "their relationship is unbalanced, mike helps will too much" thing that people peddle bothers me for many reasons, but even outside of the whole complementary characterization thing... it bothers me bc i don't like when people make sweeping judgments jus bc they don't relate to or don't understand something.

more specifically, it bothers me because will has at least one confirmed disability, aka ptsd, and it's like... sometimes... when you are disabled... and even if you're not... you may need more help from your partner than they need from you. And That Isn't Bad. People Are Not Inherently Bad For Needing More Help. and sometimes that lasts forever or most of the time, dependent on the nature of the disability ofc. if your partner can provide that and they want to and you're both happy in your relationship, then that isn't a bad thing.

you may want a role reversal to satiate your own interest, but byler's relationship itself does not require one. they both support each other in the way that the other needs and in the way that they're best equipped to help. this isn't even something that they need to ask for from the other, it's just their natural dynamic.

and it's like. mike provided will that level of care in season two specifically because of his disability, bc will's ptsd as they approached the anniversary of his disappearance made him vulnerable to a psychic attack and possession. so when that's framed as something that will needs to reciprocate to not be selfish... it jus . rubs me the wrong way. bc it makes it sound like people with disabilities are inherently selfish partners.

and that kind of sounds like a reach now tht i type it out, but when you consider the context....... i mean..... i jus . do i make sense do u get wht i mean. mike cares for will and is so very attentive because he loves him and he's a good person, not because he expects anything in return. and will is not selfish or the "star" of that relationship just because he needs more help or needs a particular kind of help tht mike doesn't. it just. idk!!!!! do u get me!!!!!!! do i make sense!!! can people stop acting like everything in the world is so fucking transactional when it isn't!!!!! can we stop making judgments on other people's relationships if we don't understand and fail to consider the context!!! is that a thing we can do!!!! please !

[witchofthesouls]

do you think cybertronians would like to have those vinyl wrapping 'paint' jobs? on the one hand having something so uuhhh... for lack of a better phrase 'form-fitting' might feel quite uncomfortable at first, and it might be a challenge for certain frame types to keep it from pilling or ripping from transformation... tht being said i think of this mostly because i love ambulon, and I want him to feel good about his appearance. 😊

I'm guessing that Ambulon has their version of a skin condition, considering that Cybertronians are really adaptable, including their color palette. It could be related to his origins as a combiner or to the experimentation, but the chromatic nanites are frozen/locked to his old pigment.

I did have some thoughts on vinyl wrap because of YouTube shorts lol

A Cybertronian equivalent between "slap" bracelets and temporary body paint

It can be used as a quick fix or a temporary design before settling on a more permanent coding change. Some mecha enjoy using vinyls continuously, changing their colors and ripping off bits as a coping mechanism, boredom, or a way to display artistic skill since it's one of the very few avenues that's available to all castes.

Raves and clubs popularized the vibrant, resplendent hues of mandala designs and surrealism, but vinyl has its beginnings in bloodsport with fighters differentiating themselves with a design of a clade's sigil, a sponsor's favor, or the stylized glyphs of their own epitaph. When vinyl became cheaper and available to the public, fans decorated themselves with their favorite fighters' colors or markings. Peeling it off afterward because bloodshort is officially illegal.

The material's fragility is part of the charm. It's supposed to be temporary and fleeting, so underground raves take it to exemplify artistic freedom and bodily autonomy. Pop up of various establishments and kinks happen at such gatherings. A specific hue with a specific placement on the frame will correlate to specific deviancies or organizations.

Polyhex is infamous for surrealistic designs, both charmingly whimsical and nightmare-inducing madness. There are contests in Praxus on producing geometric designs. Winners are often chosen by category: one that suits the theme, one that utilizes the most colors, one that's the most creative effects, and one that's the most mathematically correct. Vos holds similar contests, but winners are chosen in a game of tag by ripping off other's designs.

Vinyls have a long history with the Artisanal Caste. It's easy material to use in the conceptual phase, and common material to patch costumes. It's an old trick by performance artists to use it as a "touch up." With the right quality and materials, they seem fresh for the camera.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Ok ok…I gotta know…what do you think the IDV characters kinks are?

I feel like Orpheus would have a thing for role-playing and Norton would have a breeding kink…but not bc he actually wants children 💀

Tbh idk I kinda just write what my kinks are and see how to many it work for a character.

Orpheus he def writes role-plays between you and him to figure out what he can do. I feel like he also would be into writing on you (thank my friend for that one life changing lol) and in force praising (basically making you praise yourself). He can degrade but he rather see you get flustered trying to praise yourself (again shout out to friend for that). Knifeplay, daddy kink (you can call him daddy but sir is hotter for him). Brat taming. Drugs use (no surprised) trust me you would have to bring that up tho. He likes the risky ones too but he will never outright say it.

Norton def is into edging (fool's gold esp), idk about breeding cuz he doesnt seem like the type to even consider having a family (look at his life he prob like i can support myself much less a child) someone needs to write that before i can consider it idk. Loves to mess around with his s/o is wearing a skirt though (he is a simple man let him enjoy himself). Choking lightly, like the power it gives. 100% powerplay let him be in control he needs it. Dont be a brat with him trust me he will break you (esp fool's gold he would mindbreak you). Pet play (fool's gold) aka bark for him like the simp you are (100% laughing at you).

Naib, i bet yall think he would be into petplay but he prob be into the very mild VERY mild form of it and tbh you gonna be explaining half of what the kink is before he will agree to it. I want to say calling him 'sir' could get him going but only if you are been very bratty/cheeky about it. Also brat taming

Fredrick foot fetish (lol turbulentscrawl did that thts the friend), i think he would have to be shown how hot it is giving him a blowjob while he plays the piano. Handkink because i think thts his fav part of his body and seeing them get you worked up is hot af for him. Now 'Human furniture' could work for him too and very much is into cockwarming

Wu Chang is into mirror sex. Shibari but in the art form more than just railing, you are beautiful. Brat taming and dressing you up, also would like doing makeup on you just to ruin it. Semi public play (black guard). Strip dancing (white guard) again you are a walking masterpiece, body worship (both to you and to him).

Joesph degradation, pet play (i mean the degrading way as you are nothing but a pet for him to use and please him), watching you masturbate (put on a show for him while he sits there and tells you to edge yourself). Also into 'human furniture' using you like footstool or a holding his tea while he hits it from behind. powerplay also call him Monsieur or speak dirty words to him in french (dont expect to walk)

Again idk just write what i like and see who it fits vfnjfvonfvnnjv

[kittymizuki]

something i like about mizuki and rui's interactions is that the first time he addresses her with the suffix "-kun" when he's asking about her name? but in every instance after this, he drops it even though he uses it to address /literally everyone/ (including the cis girls, he calls nene "nene-kun" for instance). makes me wonder if mizuki herself voiced her discomfort with it after explaining that she's trans to him or if he picked up on this on his own? either way, i like that he's considerate towards her even if he doesn't fully Get her...

i also love that mizuki here immediately assumes (perhaps a little unfairly towards rui even if it's understandable) that there's some narrativization on rui's end towards her which is rooted in a voyeuristic fascination in her as a person with a unique gendered experience that ties into how she's often treated as an object or an exhibit by everyone? it also makes sense in the context of her genre awareness and performativity bc mizuki is /very/ hypercognizant of tropes and the archetypes she's often forced to occupy?

it's this the expectation of herself as a source of entertainment to others. trans girls often exist in media to be ogled at and othered. she doesn't see reflections of herself in the world. she sees caricatures. so of course she'd assume tht this is what rui wants of her. of course that isn't the case, but trust is so difficult. commodification of transfemininity and transfemininity as performance being widely seen as a source of entertainment and comedy are things that are very normalized in pop culture and media… even when trans girls aren't treated as jokes, they merely exist to reinforce the femininity of cis girls as innately more authentic. this is something mizuki absolutely knows considering her genre awareness and how much she loves to engage with fiction, but i think it's also interesting that in the context of her relationship with the other girls in niigo there's this conflict taking place in terms of being the manic pixie dream girl who purposefully elevates the cis girls by setting the stage for them and helping them address their problems (she does this in carnation recollection, mirage of light, our escape for survival and many other instances) versus using them to affirm her own femininity … we see this the most with ena, but i think this is present with mafuyu too especially in the way she represents mizuki's hope.

mizuki's introduction to the other girls in person also establishes that she's very openly genre savvy and goes out of her way to point out narrative conventions of 'isekai stories' and other media tropes relating to her social situations in a way that feels very deliberate as a parallel to being cognizant of societal prejudices and gender constructs and the way they're sustained through pop culture so she has to co-opt them for her own benefit bc so much of mizu1 is about mizuki using fiction and horror stories as a medium through which she can engage with herself and the other girl but i think this is meaningful insofar as it tells us that mizuki always understood how abuse and misogyny work bc it's been her experience for her entire life… it's interesting that she's one of the few characters in the cast that's an active Anime Fan (ie, going out to try and get merch, tickets, the soundtracks, etc), but the expression around it is /very much/ like trans culture, like how a girl is engaged with things. it isn't about figures or being the ultimate oshi, she enjoys the characters, she enjoys what goes into the creation, she's engaged with how she relates to characters over them being "attractive." there's so much… about her and her genre awareness and also her social awareness… it feels very special bc very few stories go out of their way to acknowledge the fact that trans girls are usually the demographic with so much perspective on women's issues, both bc of their own lived experience and bc they feel like they /have/ to be knowledgeable to prove their own abuse and make up for the taking up so much space in women's spaces? it's motivated by internalized guilt but it's also out of a genuine desire to connect with women and womanhood … so many anime fandoms are often sustained by trans girls and that's something i always notice whenever i'm on twitter or tumblr? magical girl and idol series fan spaces are always occupied by trans girls and the same can be said for things like gundam? mizuki is the type of trans girl who's more into the former than latter but it's still important to note, and it makes me wonder how much of an overlap there is between how that works in english speaking fandoms and japanese ones? i imagine there's a big overlap, but it's still something i'm interested in seeing something more concrete about.

but yeah, the way mizuki is so invested in the process of creation and connecting with the characters very much parallels how she's the MV animator/editor for niigo and how her entire work process is predicated around having an intimate connection with ena's art, kanade's music and mafuyu's lyrics to display them in the best way possible? we know that she was creating edits for her favorite magical girls anime before she joined niigo (and she probably still does in her own time). trans girls often connecting and finding worth in things that cgirls have cast off as childish as well - "i don't need this" versus "this makes me feel like i can have the girlhood i was denied." the lesbian contingent in these spaces is also very strong. i feel that a lot of cgirls get disillusioned and have to come back and address the internalized misogyny around it. magical girls being co-opted by misogynistic otaku also makes it difficult, but it feels broadly meaningful to actually engage with magical girls and how they are genuinely made for young women and even more than that. also the editing … the AMVs and stuff and how it's about fixating on a piece and going through all the clips, closely editing … she's probably rewatched her favorite shows and episodes so often that it's easy for her to think about what she wants to go where. i imagine she would feel self conscious actually sharing her thoughts but also … we know how mizuki is so active in the nightcord chat and how much she fills the space with ena so i wouldn't be surprised. there's a side story where mizuki invites the others out to see a movie bc she doesn't want to watch it alone, she wants someone to exchange thoughts with … it feels so personally driven, this rare chance of hers to … try to show herself to others? she never wants to tell others directly, but through fiction and other things…

mizuki is also a fan of minori but not once does she identify as Anything More than that and of course idols are relevant to mizuki, bc her being Genre Aware extends to anime/manga (specifically magical girls and idols) and films (mainly horror). in the broad context of 'oshi' as a term this is important bc mizuki likes her and thinks she's cool and admires her, but she sees idols as ppl ... she sees girls as ppl.

i also think about mizuki and "loneliness" here in the context of transmisogyny as a system to isolate transfems, to deny them safety and community and solidarity in order to enable everyone else treating them like disposable sex dolls. many ppl will pretend that the idea of transfems being uniquely threatening or predatory is something that came from genuine concerns about sexual safety (especially terfs with their "concerns" about "males in women's spaces") when the truth is that it's a deliberate campaign to convince ppl that transfems don't deserve to be treated as human beings, never mind women, they're degendered objects (aka second class women). ppl aren't /born/ believing that transfems are more dangerous than cis men; nobody independently arrives at this train of thought as much as they're conditioned into it by the patriarchy in order to do their part in maintaining the exploitation of transfems as scapegoats for the sins of cis men even if they're not conscious of it. this just makes them gullible agents of the system.

a huge difference between how 'average' misogyny & transmisogyny operate is isolation. if you're a cis woman who's the subject of constant misogyny, it's still possible to find community within cis women. transmisogynistic oppression goes unnamed, isn't shared by any peers bc transfems rarely know other transfems growing up, and is never called out by anyone even adults. it's true that all systemic violence masquarades as personal violence, but i think this goes doubly so for transmisogyny especially bc the 'mainstream' understanding of transmisogyny even in queer spaces is that it doesn't exist as long as you use a trans woman's correct pronouns or recognize them as women (and even then ppl will always make excuses when they're called out for using they/them and it's not even called transmisogyny; it's just transphobia).

when trans women exist around others they're either reduced to sex objects/freaks or mothers/manic pixie dream girls who take on the brunt of emotional labor in social dynamics, and i think all of this informs mizuki's idea of loneliness here? rui may be well intentioned, but there's an inherent power imbalance between them as a cis guy and a trans girl (even though she's pretransition, it doesn't change this) that contextualizes their isolation and this is something mizuki is obviously bitter about… it's true that her family is supportive and gives her refuge in the form of her own room to retreat back to when the world is too cruel to her, but this is simply not enough when the goal of transmisogyny as an oppressive systemic force is to erase transfems like her from public spaces, which in some part also explains why mizuki feels so insecure about her coping mechanism being avoidance and running away bc it probably feels like she's letting transmisogyny 'win', so to speak? despite how much we see her being treated like an object and an exhibit in incredibly dehumanizing ways as well as all the microaggressions from so many ppl (even the ones who care about her like an and rui) we never see any teachers standing up for her? all they care about is getting her to attend enough so she doesn't have to repeat a year and such, which reads more like they're doing bc it's inconvenient for /themselves/ otherwise to have to deal with her more if she's held back a year. the fact that she tells rui that she hopes he can find friends that he has more in common with than just solitude in response to him trying to tell her that being lonely isn't all that bad is so loaded bc rui is a cis boy, so there's no way he understands the kind of isolation she's had to endure and the fact that he's able to speak positively about isolation understandably makes her bitter for these reasons.

mizuki joking about 'losing' to rui at making friends even though she has "better communication skills" when by that she means that due to her lived experience as a transfem she's had to become very hypercognizant of social norms and conventions in order to mold herself into a very palatable expression of femininity to be accepted by others but her hypersensitivity towards these things still isn't enough and rui can surpass her simply due to the fact that he's a cis guy...

[levbolton]

Hey I hope this doesn't come off as aggressive but why are you so against people considering hgsn a yaoi? After all yoshiki is in love w hikaru (according to the early concept sketches anyway) and it is heavily implied that either hikaru or ''hikaru'' likes yoshiki

I never said Yoshiki doesn’t have feelings for Hikaru the original one, not Unuki.

When you go hgsn is a bl (or even worse, yaoi that means no climax, no point, no plot) you undoubtedly reduce the story to Yoshiki’s feelings for Hikaru and discard everything else.

People ship Yoshiki and Unuki (“Hikaru”) and that takes away all psychological layers this story has. Yoshiki doesn’t simply love “Hikaru”. What he held dear was his childhood friend, the only kid around his age in that secluded village, Hikaru. Now imagine one day he finds out Hikaru is no longer, he’s dead. If he’s dead he can’t see him again or hear his voice and that fucking breaks something inside of him. But there’s an identical copy of him, that has the same face and the same voice. Coping mechanisms activate and he somehow gaslights himself into thinking “this is fine, Hikaru is here”, only that it’s not Hikaru, it’s “Hikaru”. He knows it but prefers to ignore it (what you don’t know can’t hurt you). You know, the human need for things to stay the same, sudden changes one cannot control were never humanity’s cup of tea. It’s very subtle, and you have to realize: wait, someone actually died in this story, they’re not coming back, they were an important part of someone’s like and they’re not coming back. But there’s also “Hikaru” that learns how to live for the first time and you can’t simply pin Hikaru’s death and his abscence on “it” either, it’s way more complex than that, both sides are correct when you know both perspectives. “Hikaru” isn’t human so it doesn’t think like a human, if you know his perspective you can’t hate him bcs his brain (or whatever there is like a brain) can’t gasp the concept of survival that humanity has. And this “Hikaru” commits stuff that are unthinkable for a human being (killing a strangers like Matsuura, threatening to kill a friend like Asako) but at this point Yoshiki too thinks it’s his fault, he let the thing be and do as he please so it’s too late for him to pull out so all he can do is “bear the sins together”, what’s done it’s done now the show must go on. He doesn’t “bear the sins” together out of love, it’s an obligation he made peace with, in his head he’s just as guilty for those deaths (and Asako’s possible disability that could ruin her chances to play volleyball and that’s be fucked up if those were Asako’s plans for future)

When people say hgsn is a bl, they just focus on Yoshiki x Hikaru (“Hikaru”) oMg CuTe ElDeRiTcH gay monster obbsessed with yoshiki

And when people focus on hgsn is a bl they ignore everything else. Moku has a “show, don’t tell” kind of storytelling. There’s so many symbols that are basically foreshadowing or just easter eggs (chal mentioned once in the discord channel that the cypress bath salt from chapter 10 are from some greek mythology about someone dying i don’t recall the details, sorry it’s midnight and i didn’t have a greek mythology phase growing up), also Tanaka having chocolate on his board, and then adding sugar to his tea, that kind of insinuates he has a sweet tooth, just like Rie (that parfait, the recent chapters with the sweets on the table), anyway this is just a theory (tht Tanaka migt be Rie’s son), i could go on with way more details but that’s not the point of this post, there’s more symbols and stuff going on, been analysing the geography too as Moku doesn’t show us stuff randomly, or why did Moku choose to mention Herman Hesse’s work in chapter 2 (it’s not Demian, it’s the night peacock moth or however it’s in german Das Nachtpfauenauge ah thanks predictive keyboard)

I repeat myself again, when people say hgsn is a bl they just focus on the bl part and ignore all the complexities this work has. (When moku asked for questions for the qa at the end of vol 3 there were so many like “when will yoshiki and hikaru kiss 🥺”)

You say “early concept sketches” when the current work isn’t even sold as a BL, a story can go a different way from the first draft and concept (ofc you keep some stuff bcs if everything changws then it’s another story), not to mention that moku deleted that concept work, the only source available are the scanlation from nekojita (i think it was their group) and moku already said multiple times that hgsn is youth horror manga, unuki’s monster parts aren’t an allegory for being gay (or they could be but not like it was the sole intention)

In my opinion hikaru died too soon to realise and even accept his feelings for yoshiki, i guess that’s a possible reason why unuki is so confused, but im sure the story is more complex and has to do with the backstory, moku didn’t mention those famines and that bloody history for nothing, im not saying anything as I don’t have a good intuition for this stuff, so I’m just patiently waiting for moku to draw the story and reveal all the secrets

Besides, having queer male characters doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bl. Bl is a shojo genre, made by women for women, 2 guys so they have to skip all the inequalities women go through, bcs when it’s 2 guys they are both equal (don’t come at me, this is the real history of bl). Bl doesn’t even represent gay people nor normalise their presence, you’d think the country with the most Bls has already some lgbt friendly rules but guess what it’s not that case bcs bl isn’t for the queers. Actual works that focus on the queer experience are My brother’s husband, Yuhki Kamatani’s works or Kakeoichi Girl (i heard good things about Boys Run the Riot too but I didn’t read it yet). Bls focus a lot on adult (often teacher) x minor (often the student), on forceful interactions (such as SA), and it’s very hecking heteronormative (big is dominant, smal is dominated, big is manly, small is drawn that way especially so it’s very undistinguishable from a woman, again don’t come at me, it’s the BL rules)

So, in conclusion, again, hgsn isn’t just a bl, it’s more than that. Just like in Blue Flag, the queer feelings that exist are important for the plot, but they’re just there as plot driver (Yoshiki’s feelings for Hikaru blinding him into accepting the truth that Hikaru is no more), there’s more important stuff to focus on. There’s already much more BLs on the market than you could read in a lifetime, no need to force this tag on a story that isn’t one

Obviously you are alive and can do whatever you want, including shipping the depressed mop with the gay elderitch monster, but please don’t spread it as if it’s the only thing worth mentioning in the story 🙏 (i myself fallen to the BL tag at first bcs this is how it was introduced to me and it took me a few weeks to think “wait a minute…”)

[45cementry-gates]

My thoughts on the current ipl points table that absolutely no one asked for :

(part-1)

1. They're the og champions...very chill, very fun vibes.

soo happy to see them on top. They really be feeling like royalty rn lol.

Also in the end, I'm just a girl 🎀💖 some I absolutely adore their jersey.

2. Yaar.... I know Hyderabad is a great team and everything but.... Do you guys have to go this hard?

Other teams come to play a match, this team comes to crack open your morale and bring you to your knees.

Baki teams khel rahi hai, Yeh log toh seedha gunda gardi kar rahe hai Yaar.

Watching Abhishek, our Indian player, a youngster, bat like that feels amazing tho.

3. Kolkata.... Man.

Gautam bhai aaye, and suddenly Sabka Chris Gayle bahar aagya.

I feel like sunil will take both purple and orange caps this year and gambhir bhai has already planned on picking the trophy this year so... Yea.

PS : once gautam bhai is done someone pls convince him to come as ICT's coach.

4. Chennai = 7 letters = thala for a reason.

They're doing great, but their recent performances makes me worried about what will happen to this team when Mahi Bhai retires.

If they don't start taking more responsibility now there's a good chance csk will crash land in the bottom next year. Hope thT doesn't happen tho.

5. LSG, you beauty....

They look like they are a weak team but they've defeated rcb, gt, pbks and...sabse importantly.... CSK.

But their next matches are quite tough too... So we'll see where they end up after 2 - 3 more matches.

The way kl Rahul hits sixes is just beautiful.

6. Mumbai.

I...... Have no idea what mysterious substance this management was on tbh.

If you want to remove someone from the captaincy, there's gotta be a better way to do that so the fans aren't offended and the player also isn't disrespected. Look how kohli left rcb's captaincy for example.

Then, if you wanted to look towards the future, Bumrah and Surya, both who have captained team India and have stayed with the franchise despite having so many opportunities to earn more if they leave should have been considered.

Or they could have just choosen Ishan. Just like csk and gt choose youngsters, Ishan could have been a good option too. Plus He's captained his team during u-19 in 2016.

But no. They choose Hardik.

Tbh, I feel so sorry for him cause in his mind, when MI offered him captaincy and called him back, he would have been happy to go back to his old team...like going back home.

But the sad truth is, MI management saw how successful he was in gt, winning in the first year and then reaching the finals in 2nd year....and it pissed them off that their player is doing well in some other team. So they brought him back.

Despite so much backlash from fans, so much hatred and trolling against Hardik, this shitty management never held one press conference to clear up misunderstandings and give answers to their fans honestly. Because they knew, if the truth comes out, they'll be on the receiving end of this hate.

Fuck them.

The only mistake Hardik did was leaving gt. But... Oh well.

(I ended up ranting lol.)

[highoncatfood]

updated version of my music taste diagram. tell me this makes sense

tried so hard to find sth else tht would fit in the middle better but ive got nothing tht i listen to enough for me to consider it part of my taste, so harley poe was the only choice but it is kind of a reach..

the other overlaps make so much sense in my head tho

nelward has the same funky, unconventional instrumentals as lemon demon but with the drums' sappy love/break up song lyrics and feel to it

csh and the drums r SO similar in both their delivery and melodies and instrumentals in general but cshs lyrics r often more upsetting and they express emotions better, which black dresses r so fuuuuuucking good at. they both also touch on topics of like. living in a shit society/the fuckedupness of the world i guess. plus queer struggles obviously

diet tea other cola gives me black dresses vibes bcuz its usually super chaotic but sometimes makes these sudden instrumental switches to much calmer melodies; but also the literal screaming and coughing and wheezing and other various noises they both do. lol and song titles too; and it reminds me of lem dem sometimes cuz of unusual/specific subject matters/making a whole song revolve around one thing i guess

and harley poe is like. its punk and touches on dark/gross topics in a blunt enough way to remind me of black dresses; the way they sing abt (past) lovers/relationships makes me think of the drums and csh, tho here its much more uhhh intense in a different way. and then lemon demon - similar themes of and references to supernatural/fantasy/folk stuff and culture; especially reminds me of older lem dem like hip to the javabean

[u5an5]

Of things extra: Once Upon a Witchlight Ep. 17.1 | Delight from a Gift

Episode | Masterlist

.

! Fair warning, this post contains SPOILERS. If you don't want to be spoiled, STOP READING !

.

Kremy

[25:50 - 27:20]

Early on in our adventures, when it was just Kremy and Gid, they would both smoke together - Kremy would smoke cigarettes and Gideon would smoke cigars.

And Kremy kept getting ashes on his suit.

And, very thoughfully of Gideon, he went out and found - probably robbed somone rich, like, aristocrat lady - of a nice, long cigarette holder, so that Kremy could smoke his cigarettes without getting ashes on his nice suit.

You touch the golden stopper on this gourd, and you feel it shift magicaly beneath your hand, as it begins to rise and uncork from the bottle.

And you immedietaly think back to this memory.

And the joy, the friendship that you felt in that moment that it was gifted to you, how thoughtful it was

As you continue to think about it, that feeling of joy tht you associated with that memory, slowly disapears.

As the gourd takes that happiness in that moment away from you.

You still have the memory. It's still is something in your mind that you consider to be thoughful.

But when you think on it, you no longer have that fondness that you had before. That sense of friendship, that feeling of a true connection between the two of you.

It is now simply just a memory, and a nice gesture.

.

Frost

[29:10 - 30:58]

I have still in my possesion a signal whistle, but it is very special for me, for it was carved by Gricko.

I remember it, when you gave it to me, it was to, uh, aid me in communicating with Hootsie. I realised that you, uh... were starting to see me as a friend.

And that you trusted me enough for that, simple gesture to, uh, sort of be a part of your Clan. And it meant a lot to me, I... hadn't had a friend like that before, so it was- brought me a great ammount of joy.

And you do think of this. It was the first time you'd really connected to Gricko.

And as you put you hand on the stopper, a very simmiliar situation to what happened with Kremy happens to you.

You don't lose the memory.

But that feeling of closeness, that feeling of happines, fades from you, as the gourd takes it into itself.

You still look on that memory fondly, it was still a moment of growth between you and Gricko, and definitely has some valuable uses, especially in your ability to communicate and work with a familiar that is so closely rooted to your group.

But that joy, that sense of true friendship and connection, that disappears, and you look on it more from an objective standpoint.

.

Gideon

[32:16 - 35:06]

I would say in uh, in a similar vein, very early on in relationship between Kremy and Gideon, when I had first, uh... escaped captivity and encountered Kremy.

And uh, we recognized the mutual benefit to being together, but he was obviously very put together, and I was soot covered and, you know, like, blasted, clothes askew, scraggly hair, rough beard...

And after about a month or so of traveling together, Kremy offered me a comb.

A sterling silver comb, and said something fancy about, you know, giving me a haircut or something like that, but, you know, we couldn't find a barber shop, so he gave me something to straighten my hair, clean my beard... and just kind of dress it up a little bit more, you know.

And that was the first time that anyone had ever freely given me anything.

You think about this memory. And you feel the gourd beneath your hand vibrate with this magical energy, as you begin to change the way you view this.

At first it's these feelings of friendship. You becoming a new man. Kremy seeing in you something no one had ever seen in you before.

And this comb was a symbol of that. That you were no longer enslaved, you were no longer used. You were your own man and you could present yourself exactly the way you wanted to. And Kremy saw in you more than even you had ever seen in yourself.

There was a sense of pride, a sense of joy, a true sense of connection.

But now, as you think about that comb, you think about the fact that, Kremy is a dapper aligator and he can't be seen in public with somone as disheled as you were, as soot-covered as you were. It wasn't necessarily a gift of friendship as it was a means to make sure the two of you could work together you needed to work, to pull off your cons.

And it was thoughtful. But it was useful.

And really, that's what's important.

.

Gricko

[39:00 - 41:53]

I will think... I will think until it was after the meal, Mom had finished up cleaning the table and it's just me an Uncle Glorbo, and we are talking.

And will have encouraged Gricko, um, to- Yeah, I think that he knew- he heard from my Mom that I was rebelious, and I didn't want to be like just a normal goblin, and I wanted- I really liked music, and I wanted to, um, go out and see the world - basically the equivalent of a rock band in an equivalent of a Sunday.

And he said that he disagreed with my mom and trough that I sould pursue it.

And he gave me my first jaw harp.

As you think of this memory, you begin to feel the gourd react to you.

And you think about this memory. This familiar memory.

And one of the times you connected with Uncle Glorbo.

And he truly saw you in a way your mother couldn't, she was too close to you and she wanted things for you that she though were best and didn't take the time to think about what really was best for you.

But Uncle Glorbo did.

And he was able to see that who you were and what your needs were different than other goblins. And, even though it was not something he would normally give, he went out of his way to procure this jaw harp for you and to give it to you.

And that memory has always filled you with joy and the love of music.

But as you think about it more, you begin to realize that, you were hyper kid. You were a little obnoxious sometimes, and there were definitely times Uncle Glorbo got frustrated with you and,

You know, maybe that jaw harp wasn't this big moment of realisation and understanding of you, but more a way to keep you amused and out of his hair.

And that makes sense. I mean, that's reasonable - you were young and you were spunky and, you know, "give a kid an iPad"

And so, the memory still brings you joy, it still sparked your love with music.

But that... appreciation of a deeper understanding with your Uncle Glorbo. That is gone.

And it's more just something you're grateful for.

.

Episode | Masterlist

[actuallycassidyiambusy]

Heeeeyy it's me again lol the one that likes to ask about ur original work🥺 I asked about ur fav OC to write and now I'm really curious tbh

This Blake guy has my attention and I'd love to know a lil more about him and Zeke? (I think thts the name) U mentioned that Blake is a demon soooo is there an age gap between them👀 also I'd love to see more art of them!

Maybe a little sneak peek of a chapter with them in it? I hope I'm not asking too much I'm just really interested 🙇🏼

You are not asking too much at all! I LOVE talking about my ocs lol I just don't unless asked because I don't wanna be annoying 🥹 I may post a chapter with them later on, but for now I'll share some more art I've done lately as well as a little ✨𝕷𝖔𝖗𝖊✨

Blake and Zeke are prime examples of supporting characters who immediately grab attention from the mcs. And I am 100% okay with that because they are literally my faves.

Blake is in the series from the very start. He could technically be considered a main character because of how important his role is in the whole series. He's morally grey and it's very hard to tell what he's gonna do next. Like I said in the last post, he's the leader of a gang he formed in NY, and expanded all over the country.

Blake is a black blooded demon but he's not hellborn. He was killed as a young adult and turned into a demon by someone I cannot name lol

Blake is easily 120 years old.

Zeke, on the other hand, is a 21 year old half-demon who cannot shut the fuck up or follow orders to save his own life. He's a brat in every sense of the word that nobody has been able to handle. His relationships are fleeting because he's an ass and he's unpredictable.

Meeting Blake is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Right from the start, Blake handles Zeke in a way no one else has managed to do. Zeke opens his mouth and speaks wrong, he's on the ground. However, he likes it that way. It makes him melt that someone can manage to stick around despite his behavior issues. It also scares him because the one person who can make him obey is also allergic to commitment and can be a flight risk. Neither of them like to communicate their feelings properly. Both of them have been hurt in their own way.

Their dynamic is very toxic and sometimes unsettling, but both of them prefer it that way. They don't like boring and they don't like vanilla. They both have major attitude problems and they deal with each other very aggressively.

But they find common ground. Despite being turned off by commitment, both of them are extremely possessive. To the point of violence some days. Their personalities are similar in ways of sense of humor, pervertedness and ego. Blake is much stronger than Zeke, but that won't stop the blond from throwing hands when he gets frustrated. Both of them can fight incredibly well.

Blake is 6'6" and Zeke is 6'3"

They're both fairly tall and both have noticable muscle tone. Blake is a bit bigger and a hell of a lot badder. While it's miniscule, they don't lack empathy. They have the capacity to feel for others and for each other, they just like to overshadow it with anger and narcissism. Neither of them know how to stay out of trouble,

but Blake is more organized and he has a lot of people in his pocket. Including police officers. Blake is smarter and more efficient and the only times he gets caught is when Zeke is fucking involved. There are times when Blake gets let go, but he'll leave Zeke to think about his actions inside a cell for the night.

They cuss at each other, scream, throw punches and break shit. Zeke has been sent through tables and fences. He's been thrown out of Blake's moving car. But he keeps coming back because Blake will still protect him and patch him up. Blake doesn't try to tame or change Zeke. He takes the issues on the chin and fights back. And the sex is insane. Zeke used to consider himself strictly a top until he met Blake and he won't bottom for anyone else but Blake.

Blake won't bottom for a damn soul, but he doesn't mind letting Zeke be dominant when the blond feels like it. There really isn't much off of the table for these two assholes. Zeke sometimes gets insecure because he's not a "feminine bottom" but Blake doesn't give a shit. He'd rather have Zeke just the way he is and he'll backhand Zeke if he catches the blond talking bad about himself. Their ways of showing they care aren't exactly "conventional" or "healthy", but it gets the point across pretty well. They are constantly splattered in each other's blood.

They can't kill each other, but they have a lot of fun trying❤️‍🔥