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duskholland · 4 years

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frat!tom inviting you to one of their ragers and all of his brothers trying to be a wingman for him bc they all know he’s had his eye on you the whole semester 😂 bc your friends would be like since when did you become friends with all these frat bros and you’re like idk what’s going on rn you’d be so confused lmao.

god this is such a cute idea...my heart. cw: alcohol + fluff.

finishing up some frat!tom blurbs !!

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

The first time it happens, you find it funny. The second, you feel a little uncertain but laugh it off. But the third time you’re approached by one of the fratboys hosting the party and offered a round of the house’s finest drinks, you can’t deny your complete bemusement.

“Since when did you become friends with so many frat bros?” Your friend, Val, whispers, clinging to your arm as one of the men, a shorter lad called Harry, dishes out shots to you and all of your friends. You accept one with a smile before dropping your voice.

“I didn’t,” you mutter. “I don’t understand what’s going on right now.”

You’ve barely done your shot when there’s a presence beside you.

“Y/N! Pleased you could make it.” You turn to see Harrison there, the vice-president of the frat. He’s in a SnapBack and a black T-shirt, smirking widely. “Do you and your friends want to come and play beer pong with us?”

You exchange a glance with Val, who giggles.

“Why not,” you agree.

You’re swept over to the large patio with a few of your friends, and you barely have time to process what’s happening before Harrison is claiming you as his partner and pulling you around to his side of the table. Val stands at the other end, and you watch, confused, as she asks one of the fratboys to partner with her, only for him to agree, look across the table and see you, then immediately shake his head and announce,

“Wait— no, I can’t. Stay here. One second.”

He runs away and Val raises a brow, but before you can speak to her, Harrison is poking at your arm.

“So,” he says, smirking softly. “How are you finding the party, Y/N? Anyone catch your eye?”

You furrow your brows, crossing your arms over your chest as you eye him carefully. You’ve not spent much time with Harrison before. Yes, you’ve been to a few parties together and played some games of truth or dare, but you’ve not developed such a deep connection that would warrant such attention. You find it suspicious.

“It’s a good party,” you agree, “though, I don’t think you guys have ever hosted a bad one.”

Harrison nods, pride reflecting in his eyes. “Well, thanks.” He digs his hands into his pockets. “It’s all Tom. He does all the planning and organising. He’s a great guy.” Harrison nudges you gently. “A really great guy.”

You start to wonder if the reason for your sudden catapult to centre of attention is more straightforward than you’d first thought.

“—Ahh, there he is, actually. What good timing.”

You look across the table, your breath hitching as your eyes fall upon the figure of Tom Holland, president of the frat, and your study partner from english lit. He looks good, wrapped up in a blue flannel and a black t-shirt, with a dark cap resting on his curls. His eyes seek yours out immediately and you raise a hand in greeting, feeling your lips twitch into a soft smile as he walks towards you.

“Y/N, darling!” Tom exclaims, greeting you with a hand on your hip and his lips on your cheek. “You look stunning tonight.” His fingers linger on your waist for a moment before he steps away, and his proximity grants you a deep whiff of his cologne.

“Thank you,” you reply, smiling shyly. “You look good too.”

“Thanks, love.” The tips of his teeth flint white as Tom beams at you. “I wasn’t sure if you’d come tonight. I’m glad you did.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Of course I would,” you say. You’d been overjoyed when he’d extended the invite to you, personally, and invited you and your friends to the biggest rager on campus. “I wanted to see you.”

It’s unclear if he’s blushing, or simply too warm, but you watch as Tom scratches the back of his neck and smiles almost shyly.

“I’m glad.” He clears his throat and his eyes flutter across the table, to where Harrison’s drifted around to stand beside Val. He nudges your arm, his elbow gentle. “Are you ready to win this?”

“Oh hell yeah. I was born ready.”

“That’s my girl.”

You feel your lips pull up, and try not to let him see the thrill that curls down your spine as you hear him speaking so affectionately to you.

The game goes by slowly, and you find yourself wondering how Harrison, usually so irritatingly good at beer pong, misses even the easiest of shots. If you didn’t know any better, you might be tempted to think he was trying to throw the game, yet Tom keeps you too busy to extensively ponder this thought. When you’re not on the receiving end of his smooth praises, you’re both listening to some of the fratbros who linger near, passing off compliment after compliment in Tom’s direction. They hype up almost every part of his person, pointing out, eagerly, and despite Tom’s obvious embarrassment, how good his grades have been, how he’s been learning to cook, how he’s a beast in the gym… Any positive to Tom that could be praised, is, and it leaves you smiling.

Much to your amusement, you end up winning the game. Once you’re suitably buzzed, you wave bye to Val and follow Tom back inside, his hand clinging to yours. You watch, amused, as the crowd seems to part for you, multiple pairs of eyes following you and the way your fingers are linked with Tom’s. Whispers follow you, and you find yourself clinging closer to him, curling your arm around his as you shy into his side.

Tom takes you upstairs. He’d pulled you from the patio whispering about a book he’d borrowed from you a month ago and needed to return, but you know that his intentions go beyond the return of a simple favour.

“This is a nice room,” you say. It’s large, and on the top floor of the frat. It’s also the room that comes without a suite mate, courtesy of Tom’s status as president. There’s a large window set into the wall, a nice double bed, and even an en-suite.

You feel his hand briefly touch you back as Tom moves past you and walks over to his desk. You watch him rummage through a pile of papers and pens, his watch glinting.

“Thank you,” he responds, looking back over his shoulder at you. His thin lips quirk into a smile as he inclines his head towards his bed. “You can sit down if you want.”

You hum as you walk towards the bed, perching on the edge of the mattress with your legs crossed. After a few moments more, Tom releases a noise of triumph and holds up the borrowed book.

“Here you go,” he says, walking over to you. He passes you the book, and you promptly put it down beside you. “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

“Of course,” you respond. You meet his eyes, getting momentarily lost in his caramel depths. “Hey, could I ask you a question?”

Tom nods, crossing his hands behind his back as he looks at you curiously. “Anything.”

You bite your lip before extending your hand towards him. When he takes it and easily loops your fingers together, you smile.

“Did you have all your frat brothers wingman you tonight?”

Tom hesitates, a hint of embarrassment curling over his face.

“You, uh, noticed that?” He asks, scratching at his neck.

You nod, smirking. “If the never ending supply of shots and compliments weren’t indication enough, Harrison also threw the game so we would win.”

Tom curses softly. “He’s such a twat,” he mutters. “But uh… Yeah, I guess. I just wanted you to have a good time tonight, Y/N. Some of them just took it a bit too far. I’m sorry if they made you feel uncomfortable.”

“They didn’t. I thought it was cute.” You hesitate, your eyes shifting over his face. “I think you’re cute.”

Tom shifts on his feet, seeming to stretch a little straighter as he smirks.

“And I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.” Using the hand intertwined with yours, Tom very gently helps you to your feet. His fingers slip down to your waist, where they rest, touch firm and warm. You like the feeling of being so close to him.

“So… What are you going to do about that?”

You bite your lip as his breath hitches, and then you let him pull you closer. His voice is lower, huskier, and it comes out lightly as his warm breath fans out across your face.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he declares.

You give him the slightest nod before looping your arms around his neck, and then very slowly, and easily, Tom presses his lips to yours. It’s soft at first—carrying more care than you would’ve expected—but your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy the moment. It builds quickly, spiralling from a tender union of mouths to an intensely hot kiss, burning bright with passion as you feel him nibbling your lower lip. You part your lips, and your fingers dig into his curls as your tongues dance together, the kiss growing hotter and heavier as you curl in closer.

When you break away after a few moments of passionate kissing, you’re breathless but happy. You rest your palms on the flat of his shoulders and sigh contentedly, lips stinging softly.

“Next time you want to get closer to me, you can just ask me, y’know,” you tease. “I quite like spending time with you, Tom.”

His lips brush your cheek, and you feel him squeeze your waist.

“Noted, love.” He pauses for a moment, smirk biting at his lips. “Care to spend some time with me now, darling?”

You wrap your fingers around the top of his shirt and pull him closer, letting your lips brush over his as you smile.

“I think I’d like that very much.”

#this makes me soft :')#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland blurbs #frat!tomfic #myblurbs #tomblurbs #tom.sfw #queue!#thinking abt my emotional support fratboy :')

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primordial0riginator · 2 years

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*Hands you a microphone* Hello yes please tell us about Anything what is Up

OK UH

Thinking about Kirby a lot lately. The Forgotten Land does so much with the lore, there were like… a human-like people (I mean pure human is a stretch bc the only human we got was like Adeleine) that used to be in that world but after capturing, experimenting on, and utilizing the warp power of Fecto Elfilis they left that world behind in favor of a “Land of Dreams” (Popstar?) which is why it’s all fucked up and post apocalyptic and there’s some implication that those people used the same technology as Magolor who had a big ancient ship he FOUND and traveled the galaxies with… and it WARPS through rifts like we see in Forgotten Lands. I saw that theory on a post somewhere and I was like YO? That has not been confirmed or denied but it’s like…. man it’s plausible.

^^^LIKE???? IM SAYING???

There is a lady that actually voice acts in the game, her pre-recorded voice is projected on a speaker while you’re riding the lab elevator up to fight the final boss and I saw another post say we could have already met her canonically, we wouldn’t know because none of these guys ever had voice acting like this was the only Kirby game to ever have voice acting like that and it’s fucking me up so bad. Of course there’s always the possibility all these people are dead though, but there could be descendants of these guys at play too so it’s just.., it’s interesting.

Also Elfilin and Fecto Elfilis are canonically non-binary btw they are referred to as “they” multiple times throughout the game and I thought that was a big win tbh.

We’ll have to wait another couple of years before we get another Kirby game to tie even more lore together but it’s eating my brain rn I want to know more things.

Oh also I started working on a Pokemon team last night, Adam gave me a Drampa bc I really wanted that doofy lookin dude (and on a side note am I the only one who thinks he should have a pre-evo bc idk i rlly do) and now I am planning. So far the team has Shiinotic, Clefable (the shiny one you gave me), and Drampa but I’m still working on the rest

The strategy involves utilizing a lot of set up and then baton passing a lot of buffs onto the drampa who I then will use to sweep… that is the idea anyway JFKDKDK However I don’t have. Baton pass and I have to wait for it to be sold by one of the wild area dudes and I’m like AUGHHHH

I also have 4 bottle caps and am considering hyper training like. 2 pokemon perhaps but idk I have to really consider who it will be

Anyway this is completely incoherent but this is what I’m thinking about rn enjoy KFKDKFK I’m gonna go make a bagel I am hungry

#ask #shut up alli #my son #i never write my thoughts usually but when I do u can tell i am immensely ADHD

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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chertms · 4 years

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hey y’all ! i’m lia and first thing’s first, my blog’s a mess, i know. i’m not 100% set on the theme i’m tweaking rn so i’m still looking through the tags sfkldjfd i’m a Big d*scord lurker, so if anyone wants to plot from there, you can find me at STREAM HELICOPTER 🚁#2030 ! i’ll have more things set up in the next bit for you guys to skim through, but for now lemme present my cutie with insatiable wanderlust:

[ ABIGAIL COWEN, TWENTY-THREE, SHE/HER, CIS FEMALE ]. did you see ( augusta “cher” calhoun ) walking down st. james ave earlier? i heard that they’ve been living in wilmington for ( one year ). i noticed a couple of people down on the pier saying that they’re ( gregarious & unshrinking ), but then again i realized that they can be ( flurried & untethered ) as well. they’ve been working as ( a research assistant/graduate student ). when you see ( polaroids of great adventures, a treasure trove of vintage trinkets, red lipstick imprinted on a wine glass, and the warm glow of golden hour ) you can’t help but think of them. ( lia, 21+, she/her, ast ).

tw: needles ( tattoo mention ), cancer mention, death mention

miss augusta.. oof

LDFSJLDS

her full name is augusta cher calhoun

named after her great-nana who passed within the year before her birth, which she’s kinda proud of, but she NEVER goes by it aside from official documents and the like

has always gone by her middle name, from pre-k onwards it’s all most people have known her as — save for family and super close friends

wilmington born and raised for that matter, haven’t decided where she sits in the age order still, but she’s got a couple of siblings !

her childhood wasn’t like, Majorly eventful; she was considered a bit of a tomboy which isn’t a surprise bc she’s always been a bit of a spirited, adventurous girl, has the odd nomadic moment strike her and loves to travel

is a big family girl overall, so much so that she’s eagerly awaiting the day she gets to be the cool aunt

had a decent cluster of pals over the years that’s likely dwindled due to everyone going their separate ways after high school

the second she graduated, she went to stanford to explore beyond the east coast and has pretty much been a city girl since — she never thought herself to be one, but aside from the san francisco area feeling like an exception, she does enjoy the nightlife and, sometimes, its fast pace !

however, upon graduating uni last year, she kind of wanted a break ig ?? which is why she returned home, stayed with her parents for a bit at her childhood home before renting out a little apartment for herself and beginning her graduate program and research stint at unc wilmington

as for the program she was/is pursuing, she had aspirations of becoming an anthropologist since high school to explore other cultures and meet new people/understand them, and can’t wait to get her masters and hopefully dive right into her career !

personality & extra info

a sociable, ( relatively ) fearless ginger with an eclectic taste in music and a profound appreciation for pastries

.. despite being all about cleaner eating habits and lowering her sugar intake, she takes a cheat day or week wherever she can LSDGFJK

parties, game nights, etc, you name it ?? she’s there !

kinda competitive while we’re bringing up games and such, but she’s not about the whole sore winner/loser thing — rather she’ll groan and sulk a little before moving on

like i said before, loves to travel, loves pretty places in general so prepare yourself for an abundance of pictures on her insta feed of where she’s been or where she wants to go

loyal as hell, but she has her limit if you misuse the trust that comes with it

she’s just v wholesome and has a mix of small city town/endlessly curious energy with a sprinkle of being the life of the party....... kinda

however, she’s the most ?? hard to place person all the same

that feeling of freedom that comes with her exploring and all makes her a little hard to tie down; she doesn’t plan on staying in wilmington from here on out, it’s her hometown but she can’t say it’s where she’ll lay roots down when she has more to accomplish and see

very much does her own thing and doesn’t wanna hear any criticism for it

as if she’s that out of line DLJGDSLK but still

always wants to try new things, no matter how dumb they might be; except for anything that’s a Legitimate death sentence or is.. a GENUINELY dumb idea, she has enough common sense to know what Not to do KSGFDJDS

has little tattoos on her wrist and behind her left ear for her Favourite trips/symbols/whatever and her family, will let y’all know what they’d be whenever i figure them out since i’m so damn picky with these things

is sometimes the type to stress/overthink sending an old friend a birthday greeting bc old/declining relationships are um. a tough spot for her to think through clearly lgjfsd

a Big supporter for buying/investing locally, has little trinkets and such to prove it

in fact, she has a collection of thrifted or vintage clothes from the area and from her travels/her time at stanford, and a chest full of cute jewelry she switches between daily

one piece she wears all the time — only parts with it when she sleeps — is an older pendant that’s become something of an heirloom on her mom’s side of the family ( s/o to great-nana augusta ! )

also goes by auggie amongst her family — unless you’ve been a frequent guest of the calhouns, otherwise it wouldn’t be common knowledge

really loves her freckles, partially bc i love her freckles and my own :(

tea > coffee, but she loves coffee-flavoured things; bring her a peppermint or camomile tea as her shift winds down or.. idk, just because, and she’ll be forever indebted to you fldjgs

loves to hang out by the water in her free time — the scent and sounds that comes with it makes it one of the few places where she can put her mind to rest for a bit

the sound of rain hitting a rooftop is her perfect sleep soundtrack

kinda wants to adopt a pet, but doesn’t wanna leave them if she goes on an excursion where they can’t come with her :(

baths with epsom salts, candles that smell like lavender or something just as pleasant and calming, etc during a night in soothes the hell out of her soul

top three products she has in her bag at all times, besides personal info and her phone ? lip balm, a powder spf and mints FGLGKSD

btw.. miss ginger hair and freckles will probably gasp at anyone going out with no spf on them and scold tf out of them bc ‘ hello, melanoma ?? sunburn ?!? ’

wanted connections

childhood best friend(s)

cousin(s)/other relatives

best friend or mini squad

fellow traveling/thrill-seeking pals

an ex from high school probably?? just to make things fun sfdkljgd

someone she knows from stanford/her time on the west coast

neighbour(s)

throw whatever you want at me really, because that’s all i’ve really got DLFSKGJDFSKL

#wilmington: intro #╰ ✨ . ❪ 𝐖𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐒 ↝ lia talks ｡#tw needles #tw cancer #tw death #the latter two are super brief but ! better safe than sorry right??

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thinger-strang · 5 years

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no one dies and everyone's gay au

Nancy finds Barb when she gets stuck in the Upside Down when she's in the forest with Jonathan (don't ask me about the logistics) and so Steve ends up finding Jonathan and Barb in Nancy's room? And he's confused because at first he'd just seen Jon and thought Nancy was cheating but then he saw Barb walk into the room? (traumatic sleepover time! except Jon stays on the ground and Barb and Nance cuddle on the bed bc they're best friends and BARB WAS MISSING FOR LIKE TWO DAYS I THINK? she deserves snugs)

But Tommy and Carol started talking about how Nancy was probably sleeping with both, everyone knew Barb was the biggest d*ke in Hawkins, Nancy probably got curious about the other side!

He doesn't necessarily agree but still doesn't stop Tommy from spray painting the theater (because Nancy still lied to him? Lying generally meant there was something? going on? idk Steve's just confused and a little hurt rn)

The rest of the season goes pretty much the same, Barb's just there trying to not die and trying to help the Gang™ find Will and fight this bitch ass demogorgon (I don't think she's really be part of the Nancy and Jonathan luring it to the house and fighting it, she'd help with set up and the plan but I think she'd fuck right off when it comes down to facing it, she's had enough monsters for one life time thx)

But she'd so wanna help get Will out so she's there with Joyce and everyone talking to El while she's in the bath finding Will and talking Hop and Joyce about the Upside Down

(and she's been to the hospital, she didn't get a face sucking monster thing so she recovered quicker? idk don't ask logistics again lmao)

But she and Will end up getting along and sometimes when she's hanging out with Nancy and the party comes over she'll say hi to Will and like ruffle his hair

(also I want a little scene after the big monster hunting trip scene where a) Nancy and Jonathan explain everything to Steve and b) where Steve sees Barb again and pulls her into the biggest hug and starts like apologizing for not paying attention that night and for letting her get taken and even though she assured him it wasn't his fault he still feels guilty about it, it was his house, he should have helped her bandage her hand or something? idk but this right here is the beginning of the Barb/Steve friendship and the start of the "fall of King Steve")

cue s2

and so the four get really close, Jonathan and Steve are actually friends (idk what s2 was pulling but they're friends) and Barb talks to Nancy about Steve and Jonathan and Nancy ends up breaking up with Steve way earlier (bc you know none of that drama would have happened if Barb was there so)

But they're all still good friends, Steve's cool about the break up, and Nancy and Jonathan get together but it's not like right after? so it's all chill and they all went through a dramatic experience together so they remain close knit yeah

and Barb eventually comes out to them (everyone's supportive obviously) and Steve's is ready to throw down with anyone for her

cue Billy

the four of them are sizing up the new guy, Nancy doesn't really care, Jonathan thinks his hair is a little ridiculous (which I mean, that first day? when he steps out of the Camaro? yeah it was a lil rough), Barb can see right through his macho bullshit, and Steve? has a little bi meltdown. bc this kid has definitely had boy crushes before and knows he likes both (kid listens to queen of course he knew he was bi lmao)

blah blah blah s2 happens, Barb, Steve, and Billy have the same English class and Billys generally quiet during school, kinda stand-off-ish, only really bugs people during gym/basketball, but he literally sits in the back and does absolutely nothing during class and still somehow has the highest grade

(FUCK him and Barb get paired for a project and she fucking calls him out? like she's just like you're gay I'm lesbian you can cut the crap around me and they become...not friends? but they have solidarity, they're cool)

and I'm a slut for this trope but BILLY FIGHTS DEMODOGS WITH THEM lmao he hears Max sneak out and follows her and finds her in the junkyard armouring up a bus with fucking Harrington and a couple of nerds? and like the sun is setting and he needs to get Max home so he's like "Maxine! I don't know what the fuck this is and I don't fucking care, we gotta go!" and the four are like yelling at him to either leave or get in the bus! and he's so confused, I'm not here to play games Max! and Steve's running out of the bus with a FUCKING NAIL BAT WHAT THE FUCK HARRINGTON? And Steve's like behind you! and swings at a demodog. Billy has a borderline panic attack before he finds like a fender or exhaust pipe or whatever and starts swinging too

the dogs run away and Billy rounds onto Steve like what the living shit was that? and Steve has to explain everything with Dustin and Lucas interrupting and Max shrugging and trying to understand too? it's a mess

s2 continues with Billy and with HOPPER NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND HIM bc he's caught him speeding and underage drinking and shit and Billy's nervous as hell around cops which makes him mouthy and ITS A MESS

they're all at Joyce's (Barb's there too bc Will's possessed and they need to check up on her too? and she's concerned for Will anyway yeah she's in this too) and El shows up and Steve and Billy are just like what? another one? who the fuck? like Steve heard about her but this isn't a tiny child without hair??? idk it's funny

BILLY WITH AN AXE IN THE TUNNELS

(obviously Steve isn't passed out and the kids don't drive the car, it's Billy's awful impulse control that leads to them going into the tunnels)

okay I couldn't decide where to put Barb here? so I left her with Steve and Billy to babysit and she ends up in the tunnels too? and she's def handling it better than the boys are fuck yeah

Steve has his bat and is in front and Billy found an axe in the pile of shit from the Byers' shed and he pulls up the end

it's awesome

yada yada Steve and Billy end up becoming weirdly good friends by the end and he's good with him and Barb, idk about Nance and Jon but eh

s3 now

Billy ends up getting two jobs; lifeguard and cook at Benny's (bc he's alive too, fight me bitches this is the ultimate fix it) and Barb ends up working as a waitress there too (and working together builds the weirdest bonds so they are besties now)

everything in s3 is pretty much the same but with diner scenes too? and like all the Hawkins moms swarm Benny's too and leave lipstick stains on their kitchen tips and "send my compliments to the chef *wink*"

Billy eats it up but Barb can tell he also kinda hates it bc he's barely 18 and not even remotely into women and it makes him super uncomfortable but publicly he "loves" it (he starts wearing tank tops to the pool and tries to hide out in the kitchen but it really doesn't work)

he still gets caught up with the mind flayer but it's not bc he's about to sleep with Karen bc ew, idk why he's driving out by the warehouse idk maybe he's out on a drive bc he can't sleep yeah

anyway he gets caught up but like he knows, or kind of knows, what this is and calls in sick to both jobs and talks to Hopper bc WHAT THE FUCK isn't the gate closed? I got face fucked my an interdimensional monster so unless you know where the fuck that came from?? and they deal with it earlier (most of the shit still happens but it's less...messy? like Hop and Joyce are more involved in the Billy shit and Steve knows about it?)

Steve still gets caught up with the Russians (I don't think he'd have a chance to tell anyone (specifically Hopper) bc he finds out about Billy then the elevator stuff happens like right after and yada yada)

so for most of the season it's them trying to actually help Billy! and they end up saving a lot of people? (specifically Heather bc she was really nice to Billy and I want he to live fight me it's my au)

but enough people get melted and shit that starcourt still get destroyed blah blah blah!

but Billy makes it and so does Hop and Alexie (no one dies au) and they all end up doing the thing in the mall like they did in the shed with Will? like breaking Billy out? Barb talks about working at the diner and their secret and Steve talks about them hanging out and playing basketball and the tunnels and Max talks about Billy buying her a new board and them scream-singing along to ACDC in the Camaro and the kids mention him giving them rides and shit and yeah! El talks about his mom and that's it! Joyce and Hop close the gate while Billy's holding the one arm (he doesn't get stabbed in the chest, as cool as that scar would be, no...but he gets some on his hands and upper arms and his sides?)

(also Billy's drinking like bleach rn so they try and reverse that as much as possible while he's possessed so that he has a better recovery later bc no! chlorine is not good for you! and Billy tries so hard to not drink it but sometimes he can't fucking stop? idk but he has a support system now!)

and Robin came out to Steve and Steve comes out to her too? like kinda? he alludes to it vaguely bc he's so not ready to be out to anyone FUCK

And Billy comes out to Steve (he was planning on doing it earlier that summer but shit happened)

and Robin becomes friends with everyone (ITS ROBIN X BARB HOURS BITCHES)

(OKAY small like side shit? Benny and Hopper have known each other for years and Benny's like one of the only registered foster parents on Hawkins so he ends up fostering a lot of wayward kids while Hop figures out legal stuff (he hasn't adopted anyone yet but him and his husband (yeah Benny's gay deal with it) really want to? they just haven't yet, all the kids they take care of end up in their care temporarily) BUT Hop finds out about Billy and Max's home life (I know a lot of people write that Neil wouldn't hit Max but...nah son not how that works? idk but he needs to get them out? and Neil's bad to Susan too (he's the worst to Billy but still bad to Max and Susan) anyway Hop helps Susan leave Neil (it takes a while and Billy and Max end up with Benny for a little bit while the divorce is going down and all the legal shit yeah it's safer out of the house rn) long story short Billy ends up staying with Benny after everything and ends up getting adopted (they're like we know you're 18 and you don't need a guardian but if you want we can be your dads? and Billys like yeah sure that'd be nice and yeah) Hop ends up being a weird like uncle figure? idk like I said him and Benny are close and they both adopted kids so yeah? and Billy ends up considering El his little sister and he still visits Max and Susan and yeah?)

ANYWAY everything kind of calms down, Hop and Joyce get together (I just realized I forgot about Bob so...idk I guess this isn't an everyone survives au? no no that's weird um idk him and Joyce end up breaking up idk why) but yeah Hop and Joyce get together and like it's kind of fast but they've been in love for a long time so it's kind of fine? like idk but yeah

Barb and Robin get together (ITS FUCKING CUTE they go to aquariums and have paint dates where they sit on some old sheets and paint while listening to Robin's records ITS CUTE!)

STEVE COMES OUT TO EVERYONE! he definitely cries bc fuck he was scared! bc he likes both and he wasn't sure if that was a thing or whatever for a while and Billy's like oh yeah, like David Bowie or Freddie Mercury? and that's when Steve's cries bc oh thank God you guys get it and you're cool with it oh fuck and YEAH

UM Max is bi too, Will comes out as gay (listen I know none of this is like 80's realistic but everyone's gay and alive and happy, fuck off)

Um it takes forever for Billy and Steve to get together, it's awful. like Barb and Robin have to deal with their pining and shit? and like Robin hears about it from Steve at work and Barb hears about it from Billy at the diner and they put their knowledge together and make a Plan ™

it's like elaborate and dramatic (shut up they're all like 18-19) and shit? BUT LMAO okay one day they're all hanging out at Steve's (bc I've also hopped aboard the neglectful parents train sorry) and idk Steve and Billy are there before Robin and Barb are so the girls walk in on them arguing over whatever and like Billy's talking really fast and Steve's talking with his hands and idk what it's about but Billy ends up yelling that he loves him BUT THEY KEEP ARGUING FOR LIKE A SOLID MINUTE AFTER THAT BEFORE IT HITS THEM and Steve gets all quiet and is just like you love me? and Billy doesn't fucking know what to do?? he's like bright red and frozen and Robin and Barb are by the door trying to not like break the spell (bc it's been months guys) and Billy's like of course I do asshole and Robin thinks Steve's about to have a panic attack but he like rushes forward and cups Billy's face and kisses him senseless and it's like the best thing Robin and Barb have ever seen

and they're resting their foreheads together, Steve's still holding Billy's face and Billy has his hands on Steve's chest it's really tender but Robin's like yeah congrats and shit but you guys ruined our Plan™! and she gives them a long ass rundown of their elaborate scheme and Steve and Billy are like still touching and bumping into each other as they listen and Barb interrupts and says that this was better and Robin rolls her eyes but agrees

and they're watching a movie or whatever, cuddling in their respective couples and Steve fucking jumps up randomly and rounds on Billy like hey woah fuck I love you too, I didn't say that earlier! and Billy's looking up at him like yeah I know that asshole and yeah

#okay this is s u p e r long sorry #but also not #harringrove #robin x barb #fix-it #stranger things #the ultimate fix-it #pls ask me stuff about this im so down to ramble about this?#pls #fic #my stuff #also idk how to do keep reading thungs so sorry 😬#also i barely mention nancy jon the kids or the adults #this is about my gay quad #buckland #bobin #my writings

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somnilogical · 4 years

Text

case study of optimization style: how kelsey piper optimizes to destroy coordination against injustice

her false face of "worrying about disrespecting jay", was the closest thing she could grab that she thought would get others to optimize for my silence. get local warm bodies to pile upon me for continuing to talk about how to get justice and give more information about different sources of injustice in a way compatible with people who have not completely disabled their general intelligence.

she was worried about her reputation and transfems gaining information that would allow them to coordinate along lines of shared oppression (which would start to erode miri/cfar which she wants to survive in order to have a nice (for her) environment to raise her babies), but thats not a socially defensible reason to object so she laundered it through being “worried about disrespecting jay”

11/12/2019

[14:10] Jay (System of Edo): Sarah Spikes has offered to have REACH do an investigation. I do not know this human, and have barely heard of REACH, but my understanding is that it's some sort of sub-organization that CFAR spawned, roughly. My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[14:10] acertain: afaik reach is unrelated to cfar

[14:11] acertain: and the space is controlled by Sarah Spikes and Nat

[14:11] ratsby: that's also my understanding

[14:11] Jay (System of Edo): I did not mean literally, I meant like in practice, are they complicit, etc

[14:11] Jay (System of Edo): like with CFARs bullshit in general

[14:11] ratsby: weren't REACH the ones who did the Brent investigation?

[14:12] silver-and-ivory: they did something about brent but weren't able to publish the stuff they got bc they believed he would sue them for defamation

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): Oh wow. Cowards lol

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): yeah that's pretty much all I need to know.

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): thanks

[14:13] silver-and-ivory: :( I don't think they're cowards for that

[14:13] silver-and-ivory: but you have all the information i have so w/e

[14:14] acertain: I think reach doing an investigation would mean the reach panel (https://www.berkeleyreach.org/reach-panel), which afaik is a separate set of people from those who decide how the space is run

[14:18] acertain: idk if the list of people on the panel on the website is up to date though

[14:19] stardust: List is up to date

[14:19] stardust: Full Brent statement is available upon request, not fully public because legal risk

[14:20] silver-and-ivory: https://theunitofcaring.tumblr.com/post/182885399661/abuse-allegations-anon-here-i-am-happy-to-hear

[14:20] silver-and-ivory:REACH consulted an attorney about making the result of the Brent investigations public and were told that there was absolutely no way to do this without making each of the investigators individually liable in a defamation lawsuit. I’m also worried they could be sued to reveal the names of people who spoke to them anonymously in the course of the investigation.

[14:21] stardust: We were planning to get liability insurance when we get our legal non profit status but that has not panned out yet

[14:21] stardust: IRS is slow and hard to navigate

[14:22] Jay (System of Edo): okay, this is enough info on REACH, thanks.

[14:24] Jay (System of Edo): just told her not to investigate.

[14:24] ratsby: wait why?

[14:24] stardust: (She is me)

[14:25] Jay (System of Edo): oh.

[14:25] ratsby: I don't see how them investigating could hurt anything

[14:25] Jay (System of Edo):wait why?I don't believe they'll do anything tbh

[14:25] stardust: I will refrain from posting here if you prefer

[14:26] ratsby: seems like some chance of upside, no chance of downside?

[14:26] Jay (System of Edo):>I don't see how them investigating could hurt anything

My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[14:26] Jay (System of Edo):>I will refrain from posting here if you prefer

Yes, thanks.

[14:43] hamnox: The characterization of REACH panel as CFAR's pet feels bizarre. Iirc it got started in no small part because a bunch of locals were pissed off at how CFAR failed to do anything about, and implicitly legitimized, Brent.

[14:58] 𒀭 💮: i dont really know Jay, but i do know that the REACH panel is unjust and about as helpful and necessary as christian missionaries were to native americans. im not reporting my thing to it.linta is on it who made false accusations of emma being indistinguishable from a rapist and somni doing some sort of sex party at their house for social ends of suppression of unrelated dissent. and was generally antitrans in the standard way of saying people are crazy and incoherent, like how people are saying Ziz is schizophrenic when she obviously isnt. i think much of it are populated by lintas friends like mike alicorn and anisha. sarah c, one of the few cis people i trust at this point, had an emotional breakdown about it citing that they dont care about the Law and i think resigned. given the sort of place it is, i bet that none of the REACH panel members are transfem, people can correct me if im wrong.

im kinda for transfems coordinating with each other to the extent they can against people like brent dill, alice monday, lintamande, anna salamon and other agents of injustice. with better game theory than the likes of the REACH panel who flinch at "defamation".

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: Umm

Tbh I'm very uncomfortable with the idea that all these people are in the same reference class

[15:11] 𒀭 💮: they are in the reference class of perpetuating injustics

[15:11] lintamande: sort of assuming it would be unhelpful to Jay to litigate disagreements from elsewhere here. I don't know anisha. I don't think ziz is schizophrenic. I never said somni participated in the uninvited surprise orgy in my house, just that I was mad at the people who did. I don't think the REACH panel is good for anything except getting offenders banned from REACH in particular rn, and I think we should maybe check in with Jay about whether the rest of this is helping

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: As are

you

And I

And ziz

Etc

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: Nobody is free from sin

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: ^ fallacy of grey

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: like also

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: there is a type difference

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: you socially but not legally implied to avoid culpability

[15:12] lintamande: guys does Jay want to host this conversation

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: the party things i could grep it

[15:13] lintamande: this is the server for helping Jay figure out what we can do to help

[15:13] TowerNumberNine: Jay appears to be idle at present

[15:13] TowerNumberNine: But previously they said there was enough info on REACH

[15:15] deluks917: Agree with Tower the Reach thing should get dropped

[15:15] 𒀭 💮: your "help" is poisoned in the same way that christian missionaries are and you are attempting to funnel peoples sights away from your injustice by framing me as derailing when this is relevant to Jay's needs.

[15:15] 𒀭 💮: and restriction of general intelligence is not.

[15:16] lintamande: somni I am happy to discuss this, I have messaged you offering to discuss this, I just am worried Jay will come back to this and feel like we are disrespecting what they've asked for here and not helping them

[15:16] SeriesOfSymbols: Fallacy of black and white

I think there is a meaningful difference between [rapists and abusers], [person who willfully covered for abuse], and [person who you have disagreements with]

[15:16] 𒀭 💮: i am not worried about this

[15:17] 𒀭 💮: i dont think im disrespecting Jay

[15:17] 𒀭 💮: there is a meaningful difference between stalin and yudkowsky, they are both, however, men.

[15:21] 𒀭 💮: coordination against agents of injustice is important. erasing the pattern of injustice is wrong. saying that all people are the same so we cannot coordinate against injustice because who knows who they are is wrong.it is important for people to know this sort of information so they dont do things like go to REACH expecting justice and then have their plans crumble.

[15:22] 𒀭 💮: people who present REACH as acceptable because "has not everyone sinned" are doing something wrong (linta is not doing this, they are doing a different sort of wrong thing, but also are erasing knowledge of the pattern of injustice)

[15:23] 𒀭 💮: or like if you run this reasoning on people and then apply it to reach with like "it couldnt hurt" are also doing something wrong

[15:24] x.: is there anything at all linta can say or do in this situation which will cause you to believe that they are not doing wrong?

[15:26] x.: (i am not sure how germane this topic is to anything, as this is not a dedicated "The Crimes of Lintamande" server, but so long as the subject is being discussed, i think it warrants asking)

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: yes, stop their suppression of emma and somni, their false claims made to not be culpable in a legal court but also to permeate a social court. stop their optimization for and apologism for cissexism, such in the case of minority stratification. "none of the panel members are transfem but the hosts are" "a lot of people who go to cfar are transfem but afaict none of the staff are" this is a bog standard oppression pattern which linta is familiar with.

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: and several other things.

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: i talked with them for months

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: before slowly and painfully realizing that they didnt care, that the structure they put out fed into evil, agentically. because they talked like my childhood friends who were particularly kind.

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: and i was vulnerable to that.

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: it was really hard to see through this aesthetic to how they were actually optimizing.

[15:29] 𒀭 💮: what effects they were having.

[15:29] x.: perhaps there is some other zone in which this chat would be more appropriate

[15:29] lintamande: that is what I have been saying

[15:29] 𒀭 💮: linta is trying to warp this conversation in that direction

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: because they dislike culpability

[15:30] x.: rather than both of you trying to get the last word in on what's clearly a grotesquely contentious conversation

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: i reject this plea of false peace

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: like

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: what you two are doing are obvious

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: i reject the framing of this not being relevant

[15:30] x.: right, every time one of you makes a post the other one immediately makes another

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: i reject this suppression of important information

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: framed as an irrelevant tangent

[15:31] lintamande: so I'm not saying 'this is irrelevant' I am saying 'let's check with Jay about whether this is helpful to Jay'

[15:31] x.: is new information being introduced?

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: i can see what you are doing

[15:31] lintamande: even if this is incredibly relevant and important it should happen somewhere else unless Jay wants it here

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: it is not optimizing for the good of jay

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: or the good of justice

[15:31] x.: @𒀭 💮 she's making posts online, which you are also doing

[15:33] 𒀭 💮: "making posts online" is important to the fate of the planet

[15:34] 𒀭 💮: like and a lot of other stuff. you cant say "its just making posts online, this is dumb" like sometimes posts are dumb but this is a reference class warp to claim this post is dumb, when i can see its not.

[15:35] x.: did i say it was dumb?

[15:35] 𒀭 💮: you are optimizing for like "you two are just contentlessly fighting, this is silly why dont we do something else besides fight." which is Pretending to be Wise.

[15:36] 𒀭 💮: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/jeyvzALDbjdjjv5RW/pretending-to-be-wise

[15:37] x.: i have actually not suggested the flamewar should stop, merely that this specific chat might not be a reasonable location for it

[15:37] 𒀭 💮: and talking with you about this pattern also supports lintas utility function which is suppression of the knowledge of injustice

[15:38] x.: i mean, i am not the person running the show here, so i could be entirely mistaken

[15:38] x.: it appears to me that this chat is supposed to be about a guy named "robert"

[15:39] x.: this seems tenuously, at best, connected to that

[15:39] 𒀭 💮: and yet Jay's statement

>My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[15:40] 𒀭 💮: and my statements are relevant

[15:40] silver-and-ivory: I feel like in the absence of Jay's presence people should do what they think is best

[15:40] 𒀭 💮: i think even in the presence of Jay, people should do what they think is best

[15:40] silver-and-ivory: also true

[15:40] x.: as far as i can tell, jay already said they were not interested in pursuing an inquest by the hand of the BREACH

[15:41] x.: and refused to engage in such a thing

[15:43] x.: so it's like, "is this person, whose involvement was specifically not requested, a dick?"

[15:43] 𒀭 💮: as far as i can tell this is optimization for silence. because this touches on important things, instead of having a paternalistic additude towards Jay. my read on their CEV after skimming their blog is that they are anti-suppression.

[15:44] 𒀭 💮: also, by like some sort of property rights, this is like 50% my channel.

[15:44] 𒀭 💮: as i was sexually assaulted by robert lecnik.

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: you are interfering with my space as a victim. which is a seperate thing.

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: this is "Robert Lecnik Abuse Chat"

[15:45] x.: so you would prefer to have lintamande investigate this in some way, then?

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: my report is the second item in #concrete-reports

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: i dont want linta to investigate anything besides their complicity with a cissexist system.

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: moriwen made helicopter jokes

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: after they ran out the trans people

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: from EAC

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: and is friends with linta: okay, i guess i am too confused to participate any further then

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: linta framed that as "blowing off steam"

[15:47] 𒀭 💮: i do not feel safe around either of these humans.

[15:52] 𒀭 💮: like not exactly blowing off steam but they said like it was good people were having fun when mori was doing their antitransfem thing.

these things become more obvious with processing.

i think robert, given their pattern so far of predation, possibly exploited environmental cissexism, was enabled by this. erasing knowledge of it leads to inability to coordinate against it leads to cis people treating transfem humans as if they exist in morality holes.

[15:54] 𒀭 💮: like i was around robert lecnik after Jay talked with anna about him i think. if anna listened to Jay and took them seriously, if robert lecnik were banned from cfar spaces and the berkeley meetup, i dont think i would have been sexually assualted.

[15:57] 𒀭 💮: erasing knowledge of cissexism because the people perpetrate it "use preferred pronouns" or whatever leads to inability of transfems to coordinate against it.

[16:04] 𒀭 💮: Jay wrote:

>On Anna Salamon: I remember her seeing me as a transwoman who exclusively liked men; Blanchard has a whole “theory” about this. And apparently that made me a “real” transwoman (wtf), unlike the rest of the transwomen in LW. I feel she explicitly went out of her way to validate me as a woman a number of times, like, there was one time she was saying hi to me and did the human version of this: (http://www.thebalancedcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/IMG_1166.jpg). Which, yeah, she’s a TERF.

>Also, the reason I hated her early on was, there was a time that she, I, Robert Lecnik (my rapist), and Peter (his husband) were in a room for an hour long private therapy thing since Peter was a large CFAR donor. Robert admitted to “sexually assaulting Fluttershy and being ‘bad at consent’ with a whole bunch of other people”, and Anna didn’t see any issue with letting him continue to “run the Berkeley meetups” (an honorary thing, he used it to often-ineffectively hit on people). And I had some betrayal trauma from Anna around this, as well as a later feeling of “wow I got pwned by a guy that low in mana, I’m lame”, too. Fortunately it’s all emotionally processed now.this sort of information is very relevant for coordinating against people like Robert Lecnik

i think if cissexism were deleted, in counterfactual worlds in which transfem people got to be on things like "abuse panels", this sort of predation wouldnt happen. but like responses that reactively goodhart this and say "choose the most complicit-with-the-cistem transfems and place them on the panel to avoid culpability" are useless.

individuals learning game theory, forming class-consciousness, and coordinating with each other might help bring justice to things like Robert Lecnik being allowed by the cistem to continue to prey on trans people, to prey on me. with full knowledge that this was going on.

[16:05] 𒀭 💮: https://sinceriously.fyi/intersex-brains-and-conceptual-warfare/#comment-240

[16:09] 𒀭 💮: i have some hope in anarchistic cooperation between smart humans. i have approximately 0 hope in cissexist abuse panels and people like anna salamon who allow the predation of me and people like me to happen.

[16:37] Jay (System of Edo): sec, need to read through all this.

[16:58] 𒀭 💮: if cissexism were deleted this narrow sort of predation would stop happening but like, there would still be predation there would still be predation on minorities. i care about all sentient life not just transfems. this is not an optimization target but is saying "you who say cissexism does not have a hand in the game, if cissexism were actually deleted the counterfactual world post-deletion would look very different than this one. accepting a status quo where like trans people arent on things like sexual abuse panels and arent employed as CFAR staff is accepting cissexism. and resulting in things like, when they go to these institutions they are ignored"

[17:22] Jay (System of Edo): So. My main thing is to look at what algorithms people are running. Like, REACH sounds like they're not brave enough to do something they believe would make the world a better place at a small personal cost, so why would I care about mitigating circumstances if I already know that that's the algorithm they're running. (edit: this is what "is REACH basically CFAR's pet" pointing to, eg if they are pwned by the same things. rather than pointing to whether the two orgs are ostensibly related).

Similarly, discussion of REACH beyond what was needed for me to figure this out (about six lines of text) is not at all useful to me. But pointing this fact out to silence Somni suggests some sort of preference to defend REACH. So, if that's the algorithm you're running, then I see you as (probably) sorting people/discussion topics based on what you can socially get away with. Sort of like, the word "appropriate" is in the same class as "uppity" "disrespectful" "honorable" etc, and this applies to asking if it's "appropriate to discuss REACH despite Jay's preferences".

I personally do not participate in long conversations about who is "in the right", because I personally find it very easy to figure out what people are trying to do, and find that continuing on chats longer than that is a waste of my time. But, this is also Somni's space as a victim of Robert, so it's okay if she wants to discuss REACH I guess. I've never talked with her, but she (they?) seems to have good takes with respect to when someone is de facto hurting others or running bad algorithms in a way related to that.

[17:49] Jay (System of Edo): (sort of like, when I hear that someone sexually assaulted another person, I don't think, "well I guess it's a small harm relative to the good you can do if you're maximizing your life for utilitarian impact", I rather think, "what the fuck algorithm are they running, I don't think they'd have done that if they were trying to reduce the suffering of all beings, maybe there's something I can get out of this person, but definitely not like, outsourcing thinking/project leadership/etc to them"

[18:50] Lorelei: (also related to the reach panel, I'm transfem and was very eager to volunteer as a member, in part because I wanted my queer social circle to have some representation in the process of Justice, but was turned down.)

[18:51] Lorelei: (just so they can't claim not having a tranfem member is justpure coincidence/lack of volunteers)

[18:58] 𒀭 💮: (linta messaged me to say that moriwen saying the helicopter thing was after they said having fun was good. and i checked this and its true. but like that is not at all central to why i think they are collaborating with cissexism or why i talked with emma for like 15 minutes about how people like linta and mori might be horrible to transfems if we told people about alice monday. (people wouldnt actually be marginally worse to transfems. people dont have prejudiced beliefs like that, their transphobic "beliefs" are a coordination mechanism for harm. white people in the antebellum south could see perfectly well that those who were enslaved were human beings.) noselling commitments to transphobia is a good move in response to "what if outing a trans abuser worsens cissexism?".)

[19:02] silver-and-ivory: oh linta and mori left

[19:02] 𒀭 💮: they were banned

#optimization style

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luobingmeis · 5 years

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Has there been any good amnesty meta because I just finished the ep and have No Fucking Clue what’s going on. I feel like by the end of Balance we had such a good idea of who the bad guys were and what they wanted, but Im so lost with amnesty and its stressing me out that theyre approaching the end

i mean, tbh, i think we’re approaching the end of amnesty but not, like, in the next two or three episodes? ik i said like 20 minutes ago that idk if amnesty is gonna keep going until the end of 2019 but, thinking abt it, it still can go for another couple months probably? like there is still stuff left to cover and i trust griffin 110% to wrap it all up nicely?

like, w/ balance, we gotta remember that we didn’t even know what the hunger was until ten episodes before the finale, and then we we didn’t meet john hunger until, like, six episodes from the finale and we only “met him” for an hour before he vanished until part 2 of the finale. like, yes we knew his motive and his wants but we’re also getting there with amnesty. we know that this monster wants to start a war, we just have to figure out why (just like how we knew the hunger wanted the light before we knew why)

plus, not to mention, in balance, we were meant to know that the hunger was some bad shit and that it is The Big Bad before even knowing what it was. like idk i wasn’t around when balance was still live but i can’t imagine people getting into suffering game or reunion tour and being like, “oh yeah i definitely see how the rest of this campaign is gonna go” like, i imagine that nerves were pretty high

personally, i see these as a couple options:

part of the big bad will be fighting this storm that is settling over kepler

^which was caused by the sacrifice that the shapeshifter seemed to have planned the entire time, considering that shapeshifter!dani handed the book w/ the sacrifice mentioned to aubrey, and aubrey gave janelle said book

the main shapeshifter (the one who has talked to ned) is sentient and can reason/speak, so we will either continue to learn more abt said monster

^or that monster will lead to the actual big bad

forgive me bc my brain is shot and im super tired, but, either way, i trust that griffin is going to wrap everything up nicely and that everything is gonna come together and he’s basically setting up everything for the finale (the shapeshifter, the possible war, this oncoming storm, etc.)

like, i don’t mean to keep mentioning balance, but i wouldn’t be too worried bc, in balance, griffin was saying “i don’t know how many more characters we have left to name” by reunion tour bc, narratively speaking, there weren’t a lot of characters left to name, and i feel like that’s the same with amnesty? like, trust me, i get being stressed bc A Lot is going on and “holy shit the ending is in sight but how can these characters get happy endings” but i don’t think we gotta be stressed, like, structure and story wise

tl;dr: my brain is super shot and im super tired rn so i doubt any of this makes sense, no i don’t have any amnesty meta, but i think griffin will do just fine with wrapping amnesty up and i, for one, am excited to see what he does

#sorry if i didn't answer ur question im tired #but yeah i trust griffin to wrap amnesty up wonderfully bc #like #if he could pull a reveal like stolen century right in the middle of finale territory #and do it beautifully #then i think we're all good #answered #taz amnesty #taz amnesty spoilers #taz spoilers #Anonymous

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louis-babey · 5 years

Text

twdg pirate!au: a summary

holy shit guys i have so many ideas for this pirate!au and idk how to articulate them all rn

hhh okay so Clementine was royalty but she one day snuck off and found this man that offered to teach her how the world truly worked outside of the palace walls (it’s Lee). she ends up trusting him more than anyone she ever has before, but her parents find out and as punishment she had to agree to his execution - it’s made worse because she’s the one that has to give the signal to the executioner and the whole time she knows he doesn’t blame her

realising that staying in her home wasn’t safe, she leaves the kingdom of Atlanta planning to just keep moving forward. She comes across the militant kingdom of Howes (*i cant think of anything else omfg*) and here one by one the people that aid her are caught by the police force and anyway long story short she ends up saving the life of her one friend’s newborn (it’s rebecca and baby aj) before the mother dies

JAVI IS THE PRINCE OF RICHMOND ND HE’S FORCED TO OVERTHROW HIS BROTHER KING DAVID ND CLEM HELPS AS WHEN SHE ENTERED RICHMOND SEEKING REFUGE THEY TOOK AJ FROM HER

Javi is placed on the throne, but clem cant stick around and one day she and aj stumble upon this fuckin huge ass cave on the coast line.

they’re attacked nd she wakes up in a brig (boat jail!) and basically Ericsons is the name of a ship that these rowdy kids stole from Ericsons port bc they were forced to work (punishment for their behaviour) but they overthrew the captain and here they are

in this AU Violet was put to work bc her grandparents ‘passed away’ (they were murdered, she saw, and nobody believed her) and she had nowhere else to go.

LOUIS’S FATHER WAS ACTUALLY A SIREN THAT FELL IN LOVE WITH A HUMAN WOMAN AND LOUIS FOUND OUT AND KICKED OFF ABT IT ONE DAY WHEN HIS PARENTS FORBID HIM FROM HAVING SINGING LESSONS AND THAT’S WHEN LOUIS’S MOTHER FOUND OUT ABOUT HER HUSBAND BEING A SIREN AND THAT’S WHY THE DIVORCE HAPPENED

also the Delta is a kingdom at war with all the aforementioned kingdoms. Marlon made a deal with them in which they could have Sophie and Minnie if they just left the rest of them alone, but then the Delta tried to take the Ericson Port whilst trying to find more soldiers nd that’s how the whole thing kicked off.

*spoilers for ep 4 under the cut*

Also, injury explanations:

Clem’s Leg: delta captured her when their leader, ex member of the Atlanta royal guard Lilly, realised that Clem was the missing Atlanta princess nd when clem tried to escape, Minnie (now Lilly’s protege) went ham with an axe nd the wound got infected and almost killed her but AJ found her just in time to amputate it

Violet’s Eyes: The exact same situation as in game tbh except instead of a bomb, it was just a lot of gunpowder that exploded, blinding her in her right eye and partially blinding her left

Louis’s Tongue: i refuse to take this as canon in this au While being held captive by the Delta, he tries to use the fact that he’s part siren, attempting to talk his captors into releasing him. Lilly realises that he’s not fully human and cuts out his tongue to ensure he doesn’t try to use his innate powers again.

#twdg #twdg pirate!au #the walking dead game #my post

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survivormanhattanbeach · 5 years

Text

Episode 3: “She hates girls”- Dani

I AM PISSED. I AM SO MAD AT BRANDAN RIGHT NOW. WHAT THE HECK. I WAS TOTALLY TRANSPARENT WITH HIM. HONESTLY??? I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUtT FLIPPING WITH HIM AND JULIAN IFFFFF THEY WOULD HAVE ASKED ME. AND JULIAN?? I TOLD HIM I HEARD HIS NAME, I TOLD HIM. WHY IS HE ATTACKING ME FOR BEING HONEST??? I'm so glad I have Lucy and Andreas but Brandan better waTCH OUT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT HONEST WITH HIM. WHAT THE HECK i'm sorry, i'm just so MAD right now

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO all my alliance members are on different tribes, I am so sad. ALso I'm with Brandan. -___________- I don't know who else is even on my tribe. I like Kevin and the others are all okay but UGH WHY BRANDAN WHEN I AM SO IRRITATED WITH HIM STILL?? bring me back lucy and andreas :(

Okay so yay for a tribe swap but uhm it's kinda homophobic that not only am I not on a tribe with Dani or Ryan, but that I can't even speak to them now!! I'm still drinking with Dani on Saturday though so suck it hosts. This tribe is alright, like I said not my favorite set up but I don't feel completely screwed. I'm with Joey which is good because he's loyal to me, but people are going to assume we're working together since he picked me, also he isn't good at talking to new people so idk if that's gonna end up bad for us lolol. But yay for being on a tribe with Sarah! Idk she's iconic and I'd like to work with her. I talked to Andreas for a bit and he was nice, I'd hope we could work together. I started talking to Junior again before the swap so I don't feel completely off on him. Billy is the only one I've barely talked to, but he was on Sarah's old tribe so I think they're gonna stick together??? I just hope that we can win some challenges so that I don't have to worry.

when trace and johnny give you lemons.... (ie- brandan) you make lemonade. I am currently kissing brandan's ASS right now. i told him that if he and julian asked me to flip i would have and all kinds of other lies just because i don't need any drama with him on this tribe going forward, I NEED numbers so whatever i'm going to be his new best friend and pretend to forget about tribal but I'm still PISSED.

This tribe swap is fucking disgusting. Why do i have to be on a tribe with junior. Im just glad jake is here and maybe him, billy and i can work together and grab someone else to work with us if we go to tribal

Okay so last night I was on call with Joey and he was like "someone told me you wanted to vote me out round 1" and I was like yeah it's true but you didn't have to say it. And big surprise it was Keaton that told him this. So now it's a new day and lo and behold I'm on a tribe with Keaton's snake ass and as much as I don't trust him I have to play nice because the boy knows WAY too much about my game and my personal life for me to risk crossing him so basically I just go from one migraine to another bouncing between my exes. If I get swap fucked I will be showing up in Johnny's PMs with virtual pitchforks. xoxo Madison

https://youtu.be/5oLRQqS00UU

VL Confessional Cause you tried to play both sides You got caught up in your lies And now you're runnin' You're runnin' out of time Try again, cause the game is over https://imgflip.com/gif/2vicz3

Wtf! Why did we switch tribes right as I felt so good????? Now I’m in a tribe where I feel like I can’t connect to anyone except dan and sometimes Tom. I made an alliance with Tom, Madison, and Dan. I’m trying to ensure our safety Incase we do go to tribal. Keaton came to me and said he wants to target Madison and honestly I’m really down for that. So I think I can use this as an advantage. I can either tell Madison Keaton is after him and we get him. Or I can team up with Keaton and Lucy and get one other person to flip and we get Madison. Tbh only down for Madison because she doesn’t seem to like me at all. I’ve also heard she hates girls. Which is a little obvious :p. I hate that. GIRLS GOTTA PROTECT GIRLS. But nooooo she loves attention. Ok ranting done.

VL CONFESSIONAL I feel like Jake is my #1, but Dani is visiting him today(lucky girl.) I feel like I would do a disservice to a majority of straight men in this game if I didn’t hum the intro to “Ether” at least once. Also, fuck Jay-Z.

Heya, time for a little update! As of now, I am getting a little frustrated with my tribe (love Jake though). But before I get carried away, let's see how well we do in the immunity challenge. I am not sold on the song choice, but I appreciate that a few people give active input. I'll do my part as best as I can and hope that it'll be enough for at least 2nd place... Should we lose, I'll try to get a solid group with Jake and Junior, and add a player, who one of the other three wanna vote for. At this point, none of Joey, Sarah or Billy play a major role for my future plans in this game. Billy could become a close ally as he seems to be very underrated in this game. Sarah could become a close ally because she's a cool cat. Joey idk about. We're not bonding that well rn.

I have no faith in my tribe at all I somehow feel like this video is about to be 3 minutes of just me and a cameo of mark and his adorable kids x_x Time to make my cousins make some videos with me so I have a lot to edit in because I SURE can’t rap in time with this song

Okay Isaac is sending weird clips of himself from challenges I’m not sure if that will cut it but I’ll take whatever I can edit together at this point DJSJS

Me seeing the other videos and prepping to go to tribal... also a picture of Tom booty poppin should be on the dvd cover

VL CONFESSIONAL THANK YOU JUDGESSSSSSSSSS! YOU GUYS ROCK! JESS LET ME BUY YOU A BUNCH OF TIM HORTONS. Alyssa, fried chicken at Red Rooster on me when I visit😃?

I know I haven’t been around much. But I hate this swap. I hate this tribe. I know NO ONE who I feel will be willing to keep me safe with them. So I actually have to work hard to talk to people. Music videos are not my forte. But I have to contribute because if we lose then I’ll be someone on the chopping block for sure. And I can’t have that. I’m just hopping we can slam challenges and then we can make it to the next swap. But I hope Sarah and Jake stay close with me. I really like them both. Jake is really cool to talk to and he’s not bad to look at either. Sarah is my soul sister. Then there’s Joey, who has this plan to get rid of Andreas and honestly I’m kinda ok with it. Anyone but me is how I’m feeling. I just gonna find somewhere to sink my teeth into this game and take a bite. I don’t want to be a background day player with no story line and shitty gameplay.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=zfISjcq23KU

Okay so I think I'm gonna go for Billy this round. I didn't want to lose because I think I have good connections with everyone on our tribe, but someone's gotta go. Billy makes me worried now because he said in our tribe chat that Tom told him we lost, so bitch you cross tribaling??? Andreas and Junior both told me they like me and each other so I think they're trying to form a group of 3 there? Sarah also said she liked me and Billy and I like Sarah but it might be hard trying to get her to vote Billy out. Joey originally said he wanted Andreas out and that he likes Billy, but Billy told me and Junior that Joey was spreading Andreas name, so I let Joey know that Billy's doing that, and I think Joey trusts him less now. We'll see what happens. I just don't my name going around like last time. I just need another tribe swap ASAP.

So now were going to tribal bc johnny announced the results wrong. Johnny is a pissy player and cant stand when other hosts mess up but wants us to understand when he does..hm TEA Anyways ill see what i can do to make sure I do not go home. I think i have junior, and jake and billy but we shall see

Literally fuck off. HOW IS IT FAIR THAT THE HOSTS fucked up and they wont give us an extension??? INTERESTING????????? Why does one tribe get over a day and we get less than 12 hours..lol ok what ever maybe get your fucking shit together before fucking over ppls games

Well look at it, we lost again. Great! Just great! And people seem to be thrilled to go to Tribal Council! They're so excited that they throw the challenges! So me being a straight shooter, I immediately target Billy, who has slacked the most on this new tribe and would be a fair call (on paper). But it's only natural that people have their own agenda and I am being targeted by Joey and Billy at least. Sure, Joey might still be up in the air, but either way, I NEED to believe in Jake and Junior here to vote for for Billy, or I am toast. And if Billy doesn't step up next round, so are Jake and Junior. I have nothing against Billy, but this season we don't really get along too well. We had a fun chat today, but it felt like it was too little to late for me in this season. Let's see what happens in this mess of a round :D Love Johnny though, I don't blame him. I really wanna stay and fight for all the people on my tribe to stay in this game!

Ok, so as per usual in premerge, my fate rests within other peoples hands. That's just how I play and that's totally okay with me. The scenarios I can see are: 4-2 Billy/Me (which is what's being sold to me sort of with Billy and Sarah voting for me) 4-2 Me/Billy (if Jake sticks to Joey and they decide to ride the tide and vote out Billy over Junior if they lose another TC) 5-1 Me/Billy (if they all wanna be safe lmao, but Junior seems really sincere, so I doubt this happens!) I can't scramble too hard at this vote, because I really feel that Jake wants to keep me around and me reaching out to others will make me appear like a bigger name to write down. I 50:50 Hate/Love each tribe I'm on and I hate that I am such a sulky old man in this season, but that's just a new facette of good old me.

https://youtu.be/i6ZY0hrvDaM

I am SO glad that we won! the judges were HARSH, huh? But it's okay, we still won! I really hope that andreas is going to be okay tonight, I'm just a little worried but I think maybe Billy will be the one to go?? Maybe.

I fucking wrote out a long ass confessional and then it refreshed and I wanna die, so here are the highlights: I love how Johnny has progressed enough in life to recruit 5 iconic female judges in the name of feminism, but has not progressed enough to perform basic arithmetic I want the f5 to be original Robinsons and I trust them as follows: Mark > Dani = Ryan > Junior I want a f3 with Mark and Junior because Dani is a big social threat and I would always vote for a woman over a man because fuck men, and it’s like the laws of feminism I’m really happy I haven’t had to go to tribal yet, let’s keep it moving and NO DOUBLE OR TRIPLE TRIBALS PLSSSS

It looks like this is a wrap y’all. Unless sarah actually pulled some miracle out of her ass and convinced them all to vote Andreas then it’s time to blow my flame out. I’ve been on the outs ever since I was picked last. So I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise.

#tsmanhattanbeach

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tenitchyfingers · 6 years

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my mom told me to vaccuum the floor but i don’t feel like it and i only feel like procrastinating

so here’s a list of lesser known anime i absolutely need to rewatch (and that I absolutely recommend to everyone)

Cheer Danshi - a bunch of boys starting a cheerleaders’ team. wholesome, cute and with a poppin’ ending song)

Fukigen Na Mononokean - Natsume Yuujinchou’s lesser known little sibling

Isshuukan Friends - ok i’m technically already rewatching it but w/e it’s precious)

Amaama To Inazuma - mostly for the food recipes but also because Tsumugi is the most adorable kid I’ve ever seen

youtube

(unfortunately no, they aren’t 2 gay dads)

Gakuen Babysitters - I’m not a mom and I absolutely dislike children but... tiny chubby round toddlers... occasionally wearing fruit costumes or yukata... going on solitary brave adventures to deliver their older brothers their meal....... so cute...... I spent the whole time watching this anime and crying or yelling with how cute it was

Tanaka-kun Wa Itsumo Kedaruge - local lazy boy does everything in his power in order to not make efforts

Saiki Kusuo no Psi-nan - local obviously aroace (maybe also neurodivergent but idk) psychic nerd just wants to Be Left Alone And Not Be Noticed, too bad he’s stuck in a comedy satire where everything goes ridiculously against his plans and he’s constantly courted by a school idol that all the boys (except for him) want to be with

Hyouka - KyoAni’s little misunderstood golden nugget, there’s a bit of a mystery factor but it’s little mysteries like... where did my snack end up, or stuff like that

Sakamichi no Apollon - idk how lesser known it is since it was directed by Shin’ichiro Watanabe - who also directed Cowboy Bebop, Michiko To Hatchin, Samurai Champloo, Space Dandy etc - but I absolutely recommend it) (and I’m definitely going to rewatch it)

Excel Saga - ok y’all need to watch the opening because it’s exactly a reflection of the anime which is fucking hilarious and a classic for absurd nonsense comedy in general

youtube

also the ending bc dljfgnklnklng (not recommended if you’re a vegan)

youtube

also this is the guy who directed it (and appears in the anime as Nabeshin)

ADULT ZONE: Pay attention now, terrible people like me with a taste for terrible morbid shit, everyone else can stop reading now (no, not porn, and if you thought i was gonna recommend hentai first off what the fuck is your problem secondly why would i post hentai on my main when i have a porn blog)

Yami Shibai - short horror tales, season 1 was really good, season 2 was kinda really bad, don’t know about the rest but i’m gonna assume it’s equally bad and afaik they’re on season 4 but i should probably catch up? idk?

Kagewani - horror, again with short episodes, kinda like Yami Shibai but definitely superior

Pupa - again horror, centered on family abuse, with incest vibes and lotsa gore -and some vore in the uncensored version

Diabolik Lovers - reverse harem, slightly horror, sadistic vampires kidnap innocent girl and proceed to involve her in their weird family drama, Ayato Sakamaki is a sociopathic, sadistic, possessive guy but he hot lmao (ok yeah this was a guilty pleasure)

(but Raito is the sexy one lbr also a literal mother fucker)

mostly gonna rewatch because i remember the DiscourseTM and that shit was wild lmfao and i love doing things out of spite. Also i wanna play the PSP game

Serial Experiments Lain - the 90s really did it dirty because it’s really interesting and possibly the most socially relevant for us rn. tw for suicide, depression, psychological horror. also i DEFINITELY need to rewatch because if you think NGE is hard to follow you have never tried understanding this shit. also random fact: the creator of this anime also worked on Digimon Adventure 02 which is probably why that episide where Hikari goes back to earth and there’s nobody there was... like that, because the mood in that episode is exactly the kind of mood Lain gives aka depressing and alienating af

#this list went to cute to satire comedy to nonsense slapstick to HORROR AND INCEST AND VORE #lmfao #well at least you can't say i don't have a wide landscape of media taste #also i'm 200% sure i forgot about... at least 55 titles but i can't be arsed to think about them rn

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smiley-yuta · 7 years

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stargazing w/ taeyong

☼ requested — yes

a CONCEPT i am here for

sooooo,,, side note.. i’m sorry i’ve been inactive for like the last month schools been a bitch and i’ve been on thanksgiving break for the past week and i’ve legit just had no motivation to write so i hope yall enjoy this and have a great time reading it :)))

plus i’m sick rn so i kinda wanna die????

okay first

how yall got here in the first place

soooooooo,,,,, there’s this astronomy class that both of yall are taking

you bc you really super super duper love the stars and the different ways they work and how they came to be

taeyong bc it was something he had to take for the credits; he loves science but of COURSE the only science course left is the one branch of science he simply cant wrap his mind around

its not that he hates it but its that he hates it

so here yall are

you being the professors star student, someone he absolutely adores and considers one of his brighest students

taeyong,,,,, not so much

in fact hes barely maintaining a c in the class and is on the brink of having three mental breakdowns all at once

he goes to the professor after class:

“plead elleaspelspdlel i need to bring my grade up i cant have a c in this class”

obviously, the professor gets to thinkin

brightest student in my entire career of teaching + desperate student willing to do anythinf to raise his grade = a++++

a match made in heaven

he calls the both of you into his office after the next class, explains the situtation to yall and wants to make sure you’re both on board

he leaves u two alone to chat about different plans to meet up and what yall will talk about and look over at each one

eventually

yall get super close and are super good friends

you offer him moral support before every test you guys take and start becoming the bestest duo after his grades start to rise

finally, the final comes around and after both of you take it and he ends up passing w flying colors !!!! he starts to plan a little celebration between the two of you

hes so grateful you came around and started to tutor him and be someone he considers a long time friend not to mention the little romantic feelings that began to spark in

he started buying little things and planning to bake different treats for you to try

after about a good two weeks of planning and no help from his roommate jaehyun besides a bunch of encouragement about how hes finally gonna smash after those late nights of studying

the guy calls u up and tells you to meet him at around 10 at this specific park

you’re like “hell yeah bby i’ll see u then”

he is on his a game

i’m talking getting ready as soon as he hangs up on you

showering, shaving, getting dressed, hating what he’s wearing, changing, etc

just a long list of events leading up to you arriving at the entrance where theres a trail of little cutout cardboard glow in the dark stars and planets leading you through the park to where tae is standin, waitin for u

ur in AWE

there he is

standing in a button up and jeans and a crooked tie with messy hair like he rushed to complete everything and you basically meLTED when you saw the little picnic he set up

you are about to cry when he comes up to you and hugs you and tells you to sit down and eat all you want and ur legit about to punch youreslef bc hes so fuckitn cute

he puts his arm gently around your body to rest his hand on your shoulder and push your head against his shoulder and yOURE LEGIT BLUSHING SO MUCH MY G O D

he whispers a bunch of stuff about how amazing you are and how much he appreciates everythinf youve done for him

,,,,and how much youve made him appreciate the stars and the beauty of them

but youve also helped him notice you and how beautiful of a person you are

so yall are laying down

his head in your lap while your fingers are playing w his messy hair

you guys are just staring at the sky

he challenges you to a game of finding different constellations and the loser has to buy dinner for the winner

he loses and is all pouty about it

trying to playfully give you the silent treatment to “teach you a lesson”

you play along and soon hes begging you to speak to him saying he was just kidding around

“come on you know i was just joking right hahahha please talk to me i’m lonely”

lots of snuggling

and by lots i mean

l o t s

idk when but you can bet that by the end of the night he’ll somehow find a way to compare your eyes to the stars

doesnt matter how he does it but he Will do it you can bet on it

he’d never want the night to end and would say how much he’d wish he could stay w u :(

of course yall would have to go home

so he’d offer to drive u back to ur apartment and yall would mess around during the drive back

youd arrive to ur place,,,, both of yall bein shy and shit

and then hed reach for his back pocket and pull out a lil flippy jewelry holder and open it for u and its a fUCKING NECKLACE OF A STAR THIS FUCKING DUUUUUUUDE MY G O D

hed spin u around and put it on u

LIKE THAT GODDAMN SCENE IN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BETWEEN TROY AND GABRIELLA FUCK

AND HE HAS A MATCHIN ONE THATS A PLANET

YOUD GIVE HIM SO MANY HUGS LIKE OH MY GOSH U CANT BELIEVE UR WITH THIS BABE

soon hed be like,,, “uhhh gtg bye bye lol”

his ass would peck your cheek and run the fuck away

though im sure hed drop something or trip and end up having to stay longer and further bury himself in his embarrassment

yall would just be the cutest kids i cant

i cant think of anything else so tis the end of this thingy

have a great day guys <333

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years

Text

Ep. 8: “The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers.” - Najwah

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/OSh0mvYBSwo

James Hayden

We just got back from tribal and Ryan was blindsided 3-1. I feel bad for the guy because he had no idea this was going to happen, but that' Survivor for you. I thought there'd be a merge at 13, but Jay's questions at tribal put some doubt in my mind. If it's not a merge, then I think I'm an ok spot if my tribe has to go back to tribal. I'm just praying to the Survivor ORG gods for a merge today or tomorrow.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/sg4qe6MUjJU

James Hayden

https://youtu.be/oGcQdHpBzhY

Zack M

i don't know how they did it but let's take a moment to shout out james and najwah making it through tribal! no idol needed. im so proud of them. i feel like james will gladly come back to our original alliance once we merge but najwah's commentary always leaves me feeling uneasy. no offense but like do you want to play with anyone, najwah? lol. you have to somewhat trust someone at some point in this game. i would love to work with najwah for as long as possible if she is still around after the merge but unfortunately all of the comments that have been made throughout the game will keep me from promising her anything longterm out of fear that she will run around like a crazy person at merge. also, i believe that she will be the first person to mention my name from hanuha in hopes of it becoming a big move that she could put on her resume. maola doesn't know me yet. i guess they could see me as a threat because of being picked as a captain but like i don't consider maddison a threat. lol. pedro and kalle seem to want revenge. i think it would be fun to get her out first at merge. i'm just rambling now. i'm hungry. we got the new challenge. it's some mini online games or something like that. idk. i'm not a gamer so i was like i have therapy and can't do this bye. i wonder if they think i'm making up my therapy sometimes but like if you guys have ever questioned it i promise i'm not. i have it monday, wednesday, and fridays lol. anyways, cody pedro and kalle are playing. i really only trust me and ben so like fml. hopefully pedro and kalle understand that they are playing for their lives and we win again. fingers crossed. ok i'm going to get chicken tenders. bye.

James Hayden

Things post tribal did not go according to plan. I would've put money on us merging tonight, but instead we have another tribe challenge. There's a small part of me that thinks Edge of Extinction is play in this season. After this challenge, we will be down to 12 people and seasons post 30 that have a 20 person cast merge at 13. I think there's a chance we do merge at 13, but the 13th person is the Edge returnee.

As far as this challenge is concerned, video games aren't my strong point. I'm not a gamer, but these games are pretty straight forward. If we have to go back to tribal I'm voting Amy. Voting out Najwah would hurt my game because it would show the rest of Hanuha that I'm not #Hanuhastrong and it would tie us back up at 6 original Hanuha and 6 original Maola. Voting out Amy gives us a 7-5 advantage heading into a potential merge, shows I'm #Hanuhastrong, and weakens Maddison who I think was the ringleader of Maola 1.0.

Najwah

Last night's tribal was interesting and actually the hardest tribal council. Ryan started a group with James and I 7 minutes after Palena was formed which already made us weary of him. He then tried to blindside me and made me believe he's blindsiding Amy and asked me about James and his previous alliance and it was just a mess. He's an awesome person and great team player but it was just too much scrambling and we all feared he'd flip flop throughout the game, which is dangerous. I'm trying not to use this space as therapy sessions lmao so I'll keep it short. Uhm, I think i have a good thing going with Amy and James. I just really hope we win this challenge, or rather, don't come last so that I can work with them going forward. Amy let me know she has a steal a vote and I told her about my fake idol and we'd like to work together. I really like these two people. A LOT. I lied in tribal when I said I didn't want to keep things Hanúha strong going forward. I can't believe I have to lie and blindside now lmao its becoming HECTIC. I'm really hoping we did enough to at least place second in this challenge. 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Olivia A

I’m doing so bad at all of these games rn and I feel so bad bc I asked specifically to not sit out of this challenge. I play little phone games and stuff literally all the time and am really good at them and for some reason am just doing so so bad today. If we lose then it’s probably my fault but also my alliance of 3 is really solid rn so I’m not actually worried about getting voted off. I still feel so bad I hate this so much.

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/8QZTwYzVqVI

Pedro A

if tomorrow is the merge IMMM GONNA DIEEEEE...we won once again..cause we the baddest.....honestly how am i still alive?...LIKE HOW??....chilllleeee

Olivia A.

Okay woah I’m so happy about this win I was so nervous. I feel like we’re in a really good place going into the merge I’m excited :)

Pedro A

i was about to write my pled for help to the 3 hanuha original members..so they could keep me over kalle...but now who cares...i will throw anyone hunder the bus ....to get to that final

Cody A.

Coming into this game being the competitor that I am, I never imagined even entertaining the idea of throwing a challenge.... BUT when Ben came to me with the idea of making a big move on Zack, I’d be lying If I said I didn’t think about it.. That being said however, I didn’t throw it, but I also did not try as hard as I could have.... I’m very surprised we are not talking to Jay at tribal right now.. Moving forward though, we need Zack.. I need Zack.. If we are merging tonight it is strictly a numbers game from here. I am ready to get my hands dirty, make big moves, and WIN THIS DAMN GAME!!!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXbaQPdhQw0&feature=youtu.be

Najwah

After that whole challenge experience and this entire week, I don't even know what to say. It's been a tiring experience. Being on a tribe where no one really connects is the worst. I tried telling James that the other tribes were highly competitive but for some reason he was okay with his scores? This entire week I've barely had any sleep. Even now, it's almost 5am and people are just on our tribe, OKAY with low scores? We were doomed from the beginning. The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers. Honestly, it messes with you psychologically too. I'm tired of scrambling and relying on tribemates to make an effort. I wanted to work with Amy but she's so difficult to get hold of/unresponsive even though we are on similar timezones. James is hellbent on keeping it Hanúha strong and really, hope he isn't playing me. My heart honestly cannot deal any betrayal so close to merge, I'd also like to just enjoy my Saturday. I deserve to be on the merge tribe. Will most likely be at the bottom ass of the tribe but I want to be in it, nonetheless. I worked for it. And right now, I'm exhausted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Fucking mad. This tribe swap has honestly been DRAINING. Everyone is too nice and meek and people just don't care about winning lol. I hate the anxiety and sleeplessness of these past few days. I forgot what life was like before this ORG lol what did I do? I miss Leanne, still. The best person in this game. I hate it here. I just want to get to merge and be able to breathe again.

Sarah

Ahhhhh I can’t believe our tribe, Maola, won the challenge by so much. I legit thought we were going to lose and didn’t have high enough scores. Aimee freaking killed it on her scores, wow. I have been telling Aimee how to buy the small perfume bottles that give you advantages and where to get coins to buy them. She used FIVE on that challenge yesterday (I wouldn’t have used all five butttt). Part of my strategy during this tribe swap has been buying/playing advantages so we don’t have to go to tribal because I still don’t know who is close to who, and the more I’m with this tribe the more I feel like they really just don’t talk to each other and there’s not much gameplay happening. Part of my strategy with convincing Aimee to buy and use advantages was also so I know how many coins she has because that can come in handy at Merge. I also wanted to give her information about the idol hunt (which I got from others— I’ve never actually idol hunted not knowing where or what I was getting) so she could trust me. I FREAKING hope tomorrow is the Merge! How awesome would it be for our original tribe to have the majority and for me to still have an idol. I feel like after this tribe swap, Cody and I will be in the best position in the game when it comes to all of our connections with people. We have our group with Zack and Ben, I feel close with James and now Aimee, and Cody feels close with Najwah. So we really are kind of in the middle and as long as people don’t find out about how close we are, we can just get all the information from others and share with each other. I guess I won’t stop posting a brick.... sorry.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjWjJwew7rc

Zack M

welp. i think this is it. could we finally be merging tonight after tribal? or are we swapping to two tribes of 6? that would be super lame. all i know is something is happening and i'm glad because i've been so bored in this tribe. we keep winning. there's no reason to play. i need action. the third tribe that starts with a p is going to tribal again. i don't remember the name. hopefully james and najwah stay hanuha strong so we can go into the merge 7 / 5. if najwah turns she will be my #1 target. she's too dangerous for my game to allow her to run around. other than that ... we came in second during the last competition. we were so lucky. the maola tribe killed it. i wish i would have played because our teams scores were low key pathetic. the p tribe could have beat us if all their players had participated. like is kalle even playing the game? is she here? i talked to her once. i know i should reach out in case it is the merge but it almost feels pointless. i'm sure she will run back to the 3 girls in maola. pedro seems to legit want revenge for john and is open to work together. i hope he isn't lying because i truly do want to take him as far as i can. look, i know i'm talking kind of cocky but i believe in acting in the way you want things to go. i'll be a clown if i'm blindsided. i don't mind. i like clowns. however, this is the way i see it going down in my head ... - we stay hanuha strong - we get out the 3 girls from maola - we get out kalle - we take out aimee and kalle - we take out pedro and james - we then take out sarah - then we have ben cody and i at finale 3 just how we planned it it could honestly work. we just have to figure out idols and make sure no one plays them correctly. and that's where i'm at right now. wish me luck.

Aimee

http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-pokemon-cute-anime-kawaii-charmander-s01e01/106470386286 Happy dance! I’m all for keeping this tribe together. Haha I may have gone a little over board on making sure I did my best on the flash games, but you really never know what the other tribe is going to be doing or getting on these challenges. I hope this doesn’t make me look like a challenge threat if I make it to merge. Sarah has really helped me with idol hunting and finding coins and where to find the advantages. This is great trust building! Thanks Hanuha for the free coins I yoinked from one of your bags at your camp.😏 After everything that happened in the last tribe and despite me voting for her, Sarah and I have really come a long way! I truly had the wrong read on her before. She is actually now someone I am very close with and get along well! Last night after we won immunity she told me she really wants to work with me moving forward in the game! Let’s do it girl! I really enjoy talking to Grae. They seem really genuine and such a kind-hearted person. They keep giving me little messages that seem to hint at wanting to work together. I think at this point it’s unspoken but we both know we would love to. We just get along so well. I also vibe really well with Maddison and I know she could be a very good ally in the future in this game. Olivia proved she is a total team player on this tribe and listened to our advice during the immunity challenge and really stepped up her scores! I am having such a much better time on this tribe and am really enjoying myself. These relationships feel WAY more organic. I will do what I can to help keep this going! I would love to see all of us make it to merge. I’m also so so happy Najwah is still in the game after her last tribal and hopes she makes it through the next tribal!

James Hayden

We are 45 minutes away from tribal and Najwah messaged me saying Amy is ok. We were worried about her because she's been MIA over the past couple days. Per Najwah, Amy will not play her vote steal. It sounds like Amy wants out of the game and if this is what she wants, I will oblige. There's a small part of me that thinks Amy is playing us, but I don't think that's the case.

Maddison

Everyone is expecting a merge tonight, and original Maola is down in numbers. Hoping I can find cracks and worm my way in.

Pedro A

SO i told everything to zack......he seems to rule that allience....so he will 100% tell the others....and will try to take grae and maddison out...

Pedro A

Grae and Maddison just create fake alliences.so people dont write their name down....and make people feel safe... AND im here to make justice for john PERIODTTTT.... #justiceforjohn

Ben Kessler

I hope we are merging. Pedro is out for revenge against his former alliance. Zack is a threat and I need it to be known. Cody and I are hopefully solidified. If we merge, grae and maddison are apparently big threats according to Pedro. So that is fine with me. Just gotta keep making sure the people I'm closest with stay in.

Kalle N

hey I'm super high rn and I don't remember if I did this already or not so her I go. I hope we merge soon so I can vote people out that have wronged me. can't believe we won the last challenge even after I did basically nothing. ok gtg ily bye

Amy A

So this round has been tough. My Internet issues were definitely the reason my tribe lost and I wanted to quit cos I felt so terrible but I think Najwah and I can do something with my steal a vote. I’ll steal hers and vote James so no one will suspect we’re working together and then go into the merge with our little secret alliance. Bliss

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Najwah

All I know is that shit is going to hit the fan at this tribal and I'm scared as hell. Only three of us. You'd think it would be easier but it's terrifying.

Cody A

https://youtu.be/QM4CiTbrjgw

Pedro A

im scared of the merge...scared of the girls allience...scared of me being a target...for being a wild card ...and scared of maddison and graeee.....kill me at this point

#episodes

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survivorbehemoth · 4 years

Text

Episode #9: “i hope that i'm out of the pickle and eating the... pickle” - Daisy

how i feel about merge: https://66.media.tumblr.com/68a1cf13a1ea5ca8ec0c6c8a044f92ad/fdb9160ed3342b6d-08/s500x750/a71a511c4f332aba10424d15b5e074bc9bbe5e0d.gifv

Click HERE to watch Szymon’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Chips’ Video!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to view Szymon’s Trust Rankings!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Video! Click HERE to watch another of Rob’s Videos!

So here is my i guess merge confessional! LOOK WHAT I DID! I MADE THE MERGE HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Voting cindi out last round was very sad but very needed, i think she was looking to have fun and cause chaos but i need some stability in my life rn, crackhead seamus has not came out yet and he can’t yet LMAO. so what happened is as soon as we merged Szymon approached me and wanted to call, and pretty much went on a rant about how annoying Rob is and how everyones so far up his ass, and that HE HAS THE IDOL!!!! And that Szymon wants me daisy and jules to start working together which i was like OH I LIKE THIS. Going into merge i wanted to reconnect with rob, and then keep my alliances with daisy and gage and try and just use them as shields to get into deep merge and then start causing shit.

In terms of my thoughts on everyone…. Gage i am very torn about. Because he is the person i am closest to on a personal level but i think game wise he just is rlly desperate to not lose. I offered him a f2 on our last tribe which i do intend on keeping my word on, but then as soon as we merge i just felt kinda off about him? And he formed a new alliance with Szymon Rob and Conor and didnt say nothing to me or tried to include me. Szymon leaked it tho and so im like oh ok i see i see. I think he is trying to have his hand in everyones cookie jar, but knowing he wants everything is off putting from an ally stance. But also last night he opened up a bit with me and i think he genuinely does wanna work with me, just perhaps not with Daisy. so i am trying to figure out like what is the right move with Gage, is he someone who can actually commit? and will he defend me if people like rob or conor suggest voting me? idk, but i hope he would.

Daisy: my relationship with Daisy is really strong. I think we have a lot in common personally and game wise we mesh really well. Coming in from embb10 i wasnt sure how we would work together but so far so good. everyday she makes me laugh and i want to keep working with her. Supposedly people are painting us two as a duo but i also think if people targeted us they would choose Daisy over me at this point which means i can embrace and keep working with her however openly i wish. Daisy i think also wants to more so work with Szymon and Jules which is fine by me. I think us 3/4 can work really well, it’s just about finding the right time to possibly take a shot at someone.

Szymon: i wasnt sure how i felt about Szymon at the beginning. Sometimes i thought he was annoying, other times i just thought he was being himself which i sometimes just dont vibe with. But him being really honest about his opinions with people shows that he actually is someone i can work with. i am a blunt person and when others are willing to throw mud too, it means we can work well together. I think he is very eager to vote out Rob and also doesnt want to work with Gage which i’m not 100% sure what my plan is yet regarding both.

Rob: rob is a big threat but only because he is so blatantly talking to everyone. dont get me wrong Rob is a great guy, but he isn’t a great ally just because he talks to me. I also know that he has the idol and clearly I aint the top of his ally list since he didnt include me in the one with gage szymon and conor and he also didnt tell me about his idol. Also every inactive person talking to him is not good bc i dont want his farmer ass to let his sheep target me. I think Rob may go home very early and he wont even see it coming.

chips/brandan: we arent working together. that’s about it.

Conor: we became a bit closer during the swap but i certainly wouldnt say he is an ally. more like a neutral friend. i think conor plans on working with gage/rob/szymon. which doesnt include me. But i dont think he has many other connections such as with dylan or daisy or jules. so im not sure how much he’ll be doing anytime soon.

Lovelis: he seems pretty inactive. itll be interesting to see if i can use our pre-established friendship to kinda pull him in and work with him but i also dont know who he plans on working with or doing. very nice and everyone agrees when he is on he is fun to talk to, its just about activity levels and trying to see if he actually is here to play or not.

Dylan: I LIKE DYLAN. BUT HE ALSO LEFT ME ON READ FOR LIKE 16 HOURS NOW LMAO. He was super fun to talk to on our tribe game night, and then in pms but then he kinda ghosted me but continued to talk in the tribe chat. granted i got rlly sloppy drunk last night so when he was free to talk more i wasnt ;/ So ill be interested to see if we can keep vibing, im defnitely open to working with him bc he seems like he would be fun to strategize and work with, but we aren’t necessarily at that point yet.

Jules: juuuules!!!!! amazing, fantastic, the best. but also not the most active. im interested in working with her and i think she appreciates me being crazy and i appreciate her being crazy too. also she is the main reason i won this challenge SOOOOOO. I think me szymon and daisy have a great opportunity to work with her and form a tight 4 if thats the path we choose to go down. Jules is here for fun and to socialize with people and i think some people are off putted by that but i thinks its fine, i just hope we have fun doing crazy stuff together and not against one another :D

THATS IT! MY MERGE CAST ASSESSMENT.

________________________________________________________________

SO I WON IMMUNITY! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE WHICH IS KINDA EMBARRASING SINCE I ONLY ASKED 2 PEOPLE FOR THEIR WORDS, AND THEN DAISY/JULES/SZYMON GAVE ME THE REST. Honk honk i love sharing, this is what communism is all about! But being immune first is kinda a great thing because it really puts you in a firm spot and allows/forces people to strategize with you. since i am unsure if i can attend tribal/live night it also provides some much needed security early on. i am hoping chips goes home at this first tribal which seemingly everyone is on board with. And then id prefer brandan or lovelis to go in live night. But i think Szymon and Daisy will want to vote for Rob. I am not sure if i want to take that shot yet because it might hurt my chances of working with Gage, but also leaves several more inactive people in. if i was confident people like lovelis and brandan would follow rob out the door that would be one thing, but i think it would make people like conor/gage possibly start targeting szymon/daisy/myself and that isnt a good thing. especially if we can wait to f9, and have 5 directly on rob and he goes home and then theres less potential for us getting outvoted

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Video!

I know I have been sending only really text confessionals right now and I am REALLY sorry about that, since pretty much a lot of my life has FINALLY FUCKING CLEARED UP I can actually start doing them, butttt since I'm a procrastinator on all sense of the word I'm just gonna type something here and be done with it okay?

Anyways, MERRRRGGGEE! I am fucking SHOCKED that I have made it this far. Keep in mind I really don't think that I would have had any issues getting to the merge keep in mind. Other than the shit I was going through early game and then with some other stuff I feel relatively blessed to be here. I made some connections on my swapped tribe which helped me stay around, and then afterwards I pretty much like... I'm here! I wanted to try and win as many challenges as I could just to help me get by, but then again I'm not the most TALKATIVE person in the world so whatever, I'm planning on fixing that now.

ANYWAYS going into live night I am worried. I was playing three games at once including this WHILE working and BEFORE I got COVID so that was.... okay that wasn't really that fun but still WHATEVER I TRIED GURL OKAY? And from the looks of it the first round should be easy with a relative chips boot which I am fine with. The second round though? That's where the primary issue lies. The only name I heard relative to that is potentially lovealis which I am down with. I got Jules who is a Brandan STAN, my Coco loco alliance with daisy/szymon, and other connections I have made with people like rob. Since after Chips leaves we're in the Final 10 during live night that's easier for my mental sanity. and with me/daisy/szymon/rob/jules, that is already HALF the votes. So I feel... good.

I did not succeed at the social queen immunity.

A social queen i am not.

I was told the vote would be me... so I packed my bags.

Then... a LONG time later they want to blindside Rob. I say okay, I'm down knowing I trust no one so trying to hold on to my smallest sliver of hope that this isn't an elaborate lie.

Then we get live round! If I make it that far I'm ready to party!

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Final Words

________________________________________________________________

Rob is voted out 6-3-1. He becomes the first member of our jury. We then have LIVE NIGHT! At live night, Lovelis goes home 9-1 and becomes the second member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment for this Episode and last Episode below:

youtube

#episode #superspooky

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