#bc i’ve had to save myself over and over
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uriekukistan · 4 months ago
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i think i dug too deep into my subconscious thinking about this chapter and accidentally rlly upset myself so i won’t be saying anything other than my limited edition thoughts that i deleted 👍
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crowrelli · 3 months ago
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Oooooh my gooooddddddd
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vampiremourning · 2 years ago
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trying soo hard to be normal and Good At Conversation this time
#i will make at lease One irl friend to hang out with regularly !!!#dont get me wrong taking time off work to do school was a great decision but like. i dont rly talk to anyone anymore#save for the two days per week i have class :/#and it sucks idk.#i havent had a Best Friend TM that i actually get to see more than once every 12 months in years#& im also struggling to control how i usually put more importance onto other people than they do me#like this week in particular im rly feeling the whole experience of labelling someone as a really good friend only to find out that i am#at Best just a pleasant acquaintance#which is fine yk not every relationship has to be something super deep#but still. sucks when it keeps happening.#like id rather the reaction to me almost just be actual disgust bc then thats pretty unambiguous#no room to get hopes up or create a narrative.#anyway i usually go with the strategy of just talking to someone like we're already friends bc ive heard thats the most effective#/least awkward way to get to know people. & im also only focusing on a couple people at a time so i dont get overwhelmed#bc last time I just. yeah it wasn’t the best moment#struggling in general with people and just pacing out of much of Myself is a tolerable dosage#recently I just feel like I’ve green falling onto the ‘over eager and annoying’ cycle :/#been*#I don’t want to be a Chore I guess.#I keep thinking about how nice it would be to not feel that way#like maybe I’m not the most exciting person ever and it takes me a minute to get used to someone but :/ idk I think I’m good company#(god knows I spend enough time around just myself lmao)#usually I can tell when I’m feeling like this again bc I start spending more money on hobbies and Stuff#just to fill time/give myself something to look forward to#but I can’t really do that rn lmao/don’t want to#I’m not rich I can’t just have retail therapy every time I start to feel lonely :/#it’d be nice lmao but no not practical#man I just want to talk to people. have conversations. feel like people are actually Happy that I’m talking to them.#that’s it that’s all#they say never trust your brain after 9pm but what if you’ve been sitting with it for weeks?
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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what red flags should i look for in a man?
I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, just any human being across the board. Ok so:
When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.
Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.
Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.
People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.
Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.
If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.
Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.
It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.
Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.
This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.
Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.
People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.
Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.
The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.
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marauder-misprint · 1 month ago
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okay i love your sirius and would like to request a sirius x reader bc they are sooo good
i have this idea where sirius asks reader to marry him after finishing school and she accepts of course, but then with the war a wedding is a bit hard so they end up eloping without telling anyone. and then like months later at like an order meeting james jokes sirius mate ur trying to be engaged forever/ when are u gonna actually marry ur girl and they are just like we are married. and maybe remus and lily worked out ages ago from the ring. and then james is devo he wasn’t invited lol
but i will read literally anything u write so feel free to to whatever 🫶🫶
There is no war in Ba Sing Se.
Except in this request.
Let's get married
Sirius Black x fem!reader
1.3k words
cw: mention of death/war, fluff
You had been out of school for maybe a month. Sirius was already insisting on a visit back to Hogsmeade. 
“They sell butterbeer elsewhere and we can always order honeydukes.”
“It’s not that same as being there,” he claims. 
And when you got there, you had to agree. The small village was simply magical and it was somehow better without having to return to the castle looming in the future. Then Sirius drags you out toward the Shrieking Shack and then into the forest. You’re a little confused until you come upon a clearing with a small pond. You smile as memories flood you.
“Sirius, what are we doing here?”
“You know where we are?”
You laugh. How couldn’t you? This was where you shared your first kiss with Sirius. You slowly turn around in a circle; the clearing was as beautiful as ever. When you turn back to Sirius, he’s down on one knee and you stare at him with wide eyes. Your heart pounding in your chest. Was this happening?
“Angel, I’ve known since our first time here that you were the one. It’s cheesy. I know. But it’s true. I used to laugh when people said when you know, you know. But damn, I knew. You’re the only person I can see myself with. I love you more than life itself. More than myself. I’ll live for you. I’ll die for you. I’d kill for you. I’d spend a thousand lifetimes in Azkaban if it meant I got to have you as my wife in this one. So, will you do-“
“Yes, Sirius. Yes!”
You pull him up and kiss him, not even looking at the ring he had pulled out of his pocket. 
When you pull back, he laughs, “Didn’t even let me finish my question.”
“You can finish later,” you say a wink. 
“You cheeky minx.”
“Ah but you love me.”
“That I do,” he gives you a kiss. “That I do very much.”
---
It didn’t take long for news of your engagement to spread to your friends. Most of them had been expecting it, either based on your relationship alone or because Sirius had confided in them. Because of the war, you didn’t risk having a big engagement party. Instead, you met up with your friends in small groups. A sprinkling of little gatherings in more intimate settings. As much as you would’ve loved a large celebration, you would save that risk for the actual wedding. 
Planning for the wedding was difficult. Sirius returned from a mission to find you sobbing on the couch, a letter in your hand and a notebook on the coffee table. He rushes over and knees in front of you.
“Angel, what’s wrong? What happened?”
You shove the letter into his hands, just shaking your head. A girl you had gone to school with was dead. She was muggleborn. Her whole family was found dead. Even worse, you had planned on inviting her to the wedding. You feel yourself shaking as Sirius quickly reads the letter. Then he moves onto the couch to hold you. 
“I can’t do it. I can’t plan this wedding,” you murmur through tears and sniffles. “How can I make a list of who to invite? Plan a seating chart? How can I do that when people keep dying?”
Sirius is quiet for a moment. His arms tighten around you.
“You have a white dress, yeah?”
You look up at Sirius, confused. “I mean, yes. I have that sundress you love.”
“That’s perfect,” he says, pressing a kiss to your hairline. “Let’s elope. Let’s just get married.”
“What?”
“You’ll wear that dress, I’ll wear a suit. No invites. No seating chart. Just you, me, a judge and the rings.”
“Just you and me.”
“Yeah. Let’s get married.”
You nod and lean more into his chest. “Friday?”
He smiles down at you before peppering the top of your head with more kisses. “Friday.”
And that’s how it was. It was a quick ceremony, but it was enough. Then you spent the night in your flat, just the two of you. Part of it felt like before but Sirius started calling you Mrs. Black when you were alone. You didn’t tell anyone. Being married to Sirius, being a Black by marriage put a larger target on your back, more than fighting for the Order did by itself.  
As time passed and the war raged on, more people died. You were glad you eloped, although now your fear of losing Sirius to the war was even more heightened. This was more than your school boyfriend or your fiance. This was your husband and you were not ready to be a widow so young. 
---
After a few months, the war was still raging on and it felt like Voldemort kept gaining more followers with each passing day. Auror Moody called an emergency meeting to discuss new tactics and leads. Some additional missions were assigned, but none to your closest friends. The group decided to go out for drinks after, something to ease the tension.
“To the greatest mission of all,” Sirius says, raising his glass, “staying alive!”
“Hear, hear!” Remus says, following suit, and the rest of the table did the same. 
The atmosphere is upbeat for the grim circumstances. But there’s something about being surrounded by your closest friends with alcohol flowing through your veins that makes life a bit more tolerable. And your husband had an arm around you. You could never get tired of thinking of Sirius as your husband. It still felt surreal. It was a perfect feeling. 
James let out a wolf whistle when you kiss Sirius’ cheek.
“Padfoot, when are you going to marry this girl?” James asks.
“Yeah, do you guys have a date picked out?” Marlene asks. “Haven’t received a save-the-date or an invite yet.”
You laugh and give Sirius a questioning look. You would let him decide when it was time to tell people. 
“Sirius?” you ask, biting the inside of your cheek. 
“About that…” Sirius is smiling down at you with that knowing look he has. “We’re already married.”
The table gasps as a whole before silence falls over everyone. You hold out your hand to show the added wedding band; Sirius flashes his hand as well with his own ring.
“What do you mean that you’re already married?” James bellows. “I was supposed to be your best man!”
Sirius shrugs, looking away from you to his best friend.
“It didn’t feel right, mate,” Sirius says. “Given the war and everything.”
“But I was supposed to be there!”
“A lot of people were supposed to be there,” Lily points out. 
“I thought I was your best friend!”
“Prongs, you are. And if we had a full wedding, you would’ve been my best man, no doubt.”
“Does it help if it was semi-spur of the moment?” you offer, giving Sirius pitiful look as James babbles on. 
“No! I should’ve been there! Padfoot!” James whines.
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Lily asks, placing a calming hand on James’ shoulder. “I thought your ring looked… shinier.”
“Felt like something we needed to keep under wraps for a bit,” you say. 
“Not like my family name would add protection. Remove it, really,” Sirius says.
“But that means official congratulations are in order!” Remus announces, waving to the bartender. “Another round to celebrate the newly Mr. and Mrs. Black!”
“But I should have been there!” James continues to whine, although he has a wide smile on his face. He could be sad he wasn’t there all while being happy for his friend.Everyone is laughing and smiling now. Part of you feesl bad for laughing. James had a point. Of the people who should’ve been there, he was one of them. Everyone at this small table sharing beers should’ve been there. Your parents should’ve been there. Regulus should’ve been there. But there was a war. So it was what it was and you were making the best of it. And laughing about James being flabbergasted that Sirius had the audacity to marry you without him was better than crying about everyone who couldn’t be there.
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charmedreincarnation · 4 months ago
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Hi name twin!! I sort of stopped coming on tumblr bc all my fav bloggers left, it was essentially the driest summer ever and I lost all my motivation when u guys left, I can’t put into words how much hope u guys give us, but that anons recent success story (Bella), really put things into perspective for me, yk?
I had to ask myself if I was actually actively trying to get into the void state, why was it so hard for me to make an effort? And the answer was that I was scared of change, which I recognise was probably heightened due to my autistic self, but I’m trying to be better and not run away from things anymore, for anyone else that’s feeling this way, it’s totally okay to be scared, but don’t let that stop you from living your dream life, don’t let fear cripple you. I’ve been relying on bloggers for motivation way too much, doing whatever’s popular even if it doesn’t suit my personality.
So I’m not going to over consume anymore, try to find new ways to enter the void or worry about how it’s going to happen, I’m just going to let it be and try my best not to overthink things, I’m not going to come back till I’ve succeeded. I just wanted to thank you before I log out, you and pink have been my saving grace on my time here when I felt like things were hopeless, the void state used to bring me so much stress after countless ‘failures’, but it’s also kept me going for the past 2 years.
Here’s a little gift for everyone trying to enter the void, good luck; https://youtu.be/iMW50z3Q3uI?si=VYsDJCP2LaWXVVjg
Mya 🩵
I love this for you 💖 I’m comprising a master list of success stories sent to me hopefully that aids everyone and you can find what you think will resonate with you the most
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thebestandrealestever · 1 year ago
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~SHES MINE PT. 1!~
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miles e42! x black fem reader
sum: your one year anniversary is very important to miles, he wants to spend every second of it with you. literally.
warnings : n word, cursing.
genre: TOOTHHH ROTTING FLUFF, miles being the softie he REALLY is.
a/n: what the fuck is up youtube! welcome back to my channel with another BANGER!! this heavily unedited so ignore any typos 🧎🏽‍♀️, sum short for rn bc i’m writing that miles, gwen and hobie story .
˚ʚ ꨄ ɞ˚
miles gonzalo morales loved 3 things.
his mom, his uncle, and you. he would never tell you that you moving from chicago to new york quiet literally saved his life. his fathers passing ripped his heart apart, his soul. in a way you were the angel that glued them back together, but of course he wouldn’t tell you that, until your one year anniversary rolled around he had a change of pace , he wanted to show you how much he loved you.
i never felt so alive. catch me, don’t move .
catch me, don’t you
catch me, i’ve fallen in love for the first time.
“hey miles is that u?” you said shifting over to check the time on your phone 12:00 AM. you sat up in your bed criss crossing your legs as miles stood idly in your window , you couldn’t see his facial features because it was pitch black in your room the only thing helping your vision was the lighting illuminating his figure. he took his shoes and jacket off placing it on your desk chair, then walked up to you and leaned down to give your forehead a soft peck
“hey baby” he said. he sat on your bed looking at you until you broke the silence “its late u okay? also happy anniversary my heart.” you said leaning forward to kiss his soft lips you adored, it lasted for a long time. after he pulled away to catch his breath , he cleared his throat sitting on the edge of the bed looking around the room, as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to. you looked at his side profile trying to read it to get a sign of what was going on. he got up and walked over to his jacket and pulls what looked like a small box. you turned on your lamp that sat on the nightstand next to your bed. he sat back down on the bed criss crossing his legs mimicking your position. you tilt your head slightly at miles silence, staying quiet not wanting to interrupt his train of thought.
i wanna cry, and i ain’t even tryna fight it.
don’t wanna die, cause now you’re here and i just wanna be right by your side.
“(name), i love you, you know i love you but this kind of love..” he grabs both your hands with his, he breathes deeply trying to hold his tears down his attempt failed as he lets his emotions win , showing his vulnerable side, you’ve only seen it a couple times so you knew whatever he was going to say he meant it. “it’s different, scary. i’ve never felt this way about a girl before , anyone before.” he pauses trying to navigate his feelings and wipe his tears from his face. you want more than anything to kiss him till your lips bruise but you let him finish his unprepared speech.
“i can’t really describe it, you have such an intense effect on me, (name) you changed my life. you saved my life. and i want to promise you something, i promise to always love you. i promise to be honest and good to you. i promise my heart and soul to you , all of me.” as he says this you allow tears of pure love leave your eyes not even trying to wipe them away. miles and you love each other, differently from all the other 15 year old couples. differently from any couple really. he stares into your eyes before snapping out of his thoughts like he remembered something suddenly.
“so um, i got you something.”
he hops up from your bed speed walking to chair he laid his jacket on, he walks back with a small jewelry box. your eyes squint trying to see it in the dark room. he opens to box to reveal the prettiest ring you’ve ever seen.
while i’m too scared to expose myself it turns out, you know me better than i know myself. better than i know myself, well how bout that?
“miles” you gasp muffling the cracks in your voice with a hand over your mouth in shock.
“it’s a promise ring, not to claim u or anything. and i have so many more gifts for you and i got the whole mf day planed out fo-“
you cut him off with a soft and sweet kiss.
“that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” you pull away crying softly, but harder than before.
“i love you too miles. more than anyone, the kinda love we have it-it makes me wanna be a better person, it makes me wanna tell you all my secrets, my pain,my hopes,my dreams. you’re one of the few things that remind me that life isn’t so bad.” you say through soft sobs as he hugs you before holding your face and wipes your tears kissing your forehead.
she gets him (you get me)
she hugs him (you kiss me)
you tell me that you miss me, and i believe you. i believe you.
“come on ma, don’t cry.” he sniffles, letting your face go to pick up the jewelry box and put it on your ring finger, *this must’ve been why he told you to get your nails done* you think admiring the purple tinted heart cut diamond on your finger.
“i got myself one too, it has your name engraved.”
he shows you his silver ring and you lightly chuckle at it, amused at how much this boy loves you, to think a year and some months ago you didn’t even know his name. you lay your foreheads together almost like your souls were connected. you felt happier with miles than you did with anyone else.
“you wanna watch princess in the frog (or any other movie if u don’t like that one) ?” miles ask breaking the silence and scooting up on the bed to sit next instead of infront of you putting his arm around you.
“nigga. whenever i ask you always say we watch it too much” you roll your eyes at him
“roll your eyes at me again they gon get stuck up there .” he jokes while kissing your temple.
he turns on the movie and you only get through about 25 minutes of it, falling asleep in each others arms.
catch me i’ve fallen in love, for the first time.
˚ʚ ꨄ ɞ˚
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movedtoadifferentspace · 5 months ago
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i shifted last night for the first time in 2 years. . .
MOVED TO @kodtheshiftinggodd !
📌 — QUICK RUNDOWN OF MY SHIFTING JOURNEY
umm so i started on shifttok ( unfortunately) back in like november of 2021, i was shifting to naruto. during like 2021-2022 i had experienced a lot of shifts, ranging from weird realities i didn’t plan on going to, only being there for a few moments, not realizing i was there even though i was there for over an hour, and literally shifting while doing dishes. 🧍
sometime in like the summer of 2022 i stopped shifting doing to being in a relationship with this really cringy dude… who like thought i would disappear out of thin air… if i shifted… ( and some shifttok drama that i got brought into, that’s a whole other story if you wanna hear that, the rundown is i got randomly outcasted bc i had BPD and autistic traits ( literally what they said ) ) yeah not my finer moment. anyways, i also just lost a lot of motivation for it. i still hated this reality but i don’t know, shifting just, idk. it took me just a few months ago to realize that the shifttok mean girls who outcasted me, made me feel like i didn’t deserve to shift in some way. ( when i realized that, i realized how fucking stupid that was )
and so i’ve been really reevaluating my journey, spent a lot of time of shiftblr instead of shifttok, even started my own discord to get rid of misinfo!!! which by the way shiftblr has helped me change my mindset SO MUCH! like i’ve been literally a ghost on here but i adore ya’ll so much !!and basically i feel really confident about shifting. i’ve shifted every time i tried, even though it was a very short shift, i have been practicing manifestation, LOA, & meditation and yeah here we are !
🐇 — THE SHIFT ITSELF
so i read something last night on shiftblr, it’ll be linked here, i already was/am in the mindset of “if i try to shift i’m going to fucking shift” like it doesn’t matter to me anymore, i’m doing it. instead of trying every night, i’ve been focused on trying on weekends when i have no responsibilities and such. though throughout this week i have been practicing my meditation/reaching the void state. SO i saw that post and honestly… i wasn’t really like looking to shift, it was a very impromptu thing. i put on a subliminal [ the one i used ] and i went to bed. i was thinking about one my alt realities a better cr though i hate the term better cr where i live in Oregon, and I am a tattoo apprentice, Levi Ackerman from AOT is the one I am apprenticing for. this is really based on me learning how to tattoo and not having to spend time with the AOT cast while also fighting titans and save the world. while that is great, I wanted something chill SO YEAH. I fell asleep to thinking about that… and I shifted. not to that reality but a weird parallel/version of it?
I did this with my first ever shift too. it was almost like a dreamlike reality, but only subtly. soooo I did reality checks.. and it for sure wasn’t a dream. I lived in the apartment above the shop ( which isn’t what i scripted ) and I went down and just went to work with Levi, Hange, and Zeke. I was really on edge though, like “omg i shifted” “i’m literally talking to Levi wtf” like i had no time to process or ground myself so i ended up coming back. but yeah. that’s what happened and i’m determined to get to this ALT reality. ( not in a rushed way, but a ‘i know im going to get there soon’ way )
anyways, that’s my first ever shiftblr post ahhh xxxx
creds to @jolynesmom for their post that i found
ALSO ANY TIPS WILL BE WONDERFUL, i’m literally always looking for things to improve my journey <3 or new things to try at least
happy shifting <3
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cheollipop · 1 year ago
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So maybe I am just emotional but I am in the soft girl hours of the sleepover.
You know I love big, kinda dumb men that are in touch with their feelings, Song Mingi... Just imagine having a bad day, a rough week, or an okay month. It kind of seems like it's dragging on, and for the sake of holding on, you try to keep pushing forward. Today is not a push-forward day. Water overflowed in your bathroom; you have to turn the water off bc there's no off value to that pipe. You are a little behind on work, and the sites that you need are down, and the deadline is closer than you would like it to be. All you want is a warm shower and to curl into the covers until you forget what day it is. Mingi notices you slowly folding into yourself. It's difficult to be present with so much to worry about. So today he called just to check in. Through blurry eyes, you answer. Unable to hold the dam back any longer, you let out a soft sob, and he's throwing on his coat and snatching his keys off the counter to come get you.
Mingi stays on the phone with you until he climbs the stairs to your apartment. Opening the door to him, there are dried tear marks on your cheeks that you have failed to wipe completely away, but he just wraps you in the biggest hug. His hands pull you close and tight, squeezing a few more tears from your eyes.
"Let's go shower at my house. Then I'll feed you while we watch TV on my couch. That sound good?" He mumbles before pulling you back to look at you. Pinching your lips tightly together, the worried look on your boyfriend's face just makes you want to cry more, but maybe a nice shower and some private time is what you need to clock out of life for a bit.
Shut up, I'm going to cry my eyes out lolol
Nora I am too soft for life rn
2𝙠 𝙎𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩
oh, my nabi. the warmth and comfort this made me feel—reading your ask and writing it out—drove me to tears, on multiple occasions. i was initially saving this drabble for a bad day, and ended up starting it after a particularly taxing one, but I actually wrote most of this while feeling quite...happy. so putting myself in mingi's shoes instead of reader's was the way to go, i guess. I really hope I did this justice, and that it floods you with lots and lots of comfort &lt;3
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pairing: bf!song mingi x gender neutral!reader
w.c.: 0.8k
tags: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, mentioned symptoms of anxiety & depression, non-sexual nudity (they shower together)
note: you are not alone
The drive to his apartment was silent, save for the wind blowing through the cracked-open windows to send short, blonde strands flying in different directions. The sun had departed from its locus, descending the changing sky to kiss the horizon, a gradient of orange and pink painted before your eyes. Your gaze moved off the breathtaking scenery to focus on Mingi—a hand resting over the leather wheel while the other locked with yours, glancing over at you every few minutes, squeezing your fingers to remind you of his presence.
As if you could forget, you thought, as he guided you down the hall to his door, twisting the keys while your hands remained intertwined, his thumb drawing soothing circles over your skin as he ushered you inside with a swing of his arm.
Steam engulfed the small bathroom, the warmth of the shower brushing against your skin as delicate fingers helped you out of the hoodie you should’ve washed last week. Mingi didn’t complain, though; he didn’t even comment, wordlessly adding it to the pile of clothes building up in the corner. Your insecurity must have bled into your expression, strong arms pulling you ito his chest and plush lips pressing against your forehead.
“I’ve got you,” was all he said, but it was though you were already immersed underneath the balmy stream, a comfortable heat searing through your skin as he held you against him.
With your back to him, Mingi noted the way your muscles slackened under the steaming water, the soapy droplets rushing down the curve of your spine while he worked his fingers through your hair, hoping his shampoo was strong enough to cleanse away some of the burden you’d carried on your shoulders, the dread he’d helplessly watched eat away at you for weeks. Twisting your body to face him, his thumb and pointer closed around your chin, tilting your head back to rinse the scented suds out of your hair, leaning forward to press his lips to your cheekbone while the water warmed your scalp.
Washing away weeks-worth of grime and self-loathing with delicate palms and a lathered washcloth, Mingi silently spoke of his infatuation, his care, his unconditional, overwhelming devotion to you. Even when you were broken, anxious, blind to any and every possibility of a future worth looking forward to. Mingi was there, calloused hands picking up the brush you’d broken and painting tomorrow, then the day after, one stroke at a time—open fields of daisies and sunflowers, the hopeful orb of light splaying golden rays over the land while the man with the grown-out roots stood amidst the flora, pearly teeth reflecting the daylight as he watched you approach him, his warmth seeping into your very soul as you buried yourself within his embrace.
You felt light, your breathing steady while you rested your head on Mingi’s chest, his thighs on either side of you as you curled up in his lap. You’d heard the doorbell while you were dressing, walking into the living room to find takeout containers spread out over the coffee table, and a shoujo anime paused on his TV.
“It’ll pass,” he spoke, tapping the spoon against your bottom lip and watching you take the steaming food into your mouth. Your eyes remained downcast, and he noticed hints of guilt tainting your features as you processed his words with inexorable disbelief.
“Mingi-“
“I know it’s difficult to see it now, so I’ll believe it for the both of us,” he held his lips to your forehead, your eyes fluttering shut and heartbeat erratic. Not because of anxiety, or dysphoria, but because of the overwhelming sense of tranquillity Mingi flooded into your chest so easily, the animation in your peripheral and the cheesy sound effects now masked under the faint movement of his lips over your face, planting kisses over the trail of tears rushing down the skin. “I’m here, (y/n). You don’t need to go through this alone.”
And you didn’t. Episode after episode played on the big screen, takeout containers and popcorn bowls resting empty on the coffee table while you remained encompassed within Mingi’s arms. The moonlight, aided by the warm hue of his standing lamp carved shadows over the drowsing man’s face, and you took in the slight part of his lips, pretty eyes shut as he explored the dreamland, limp arms somehow still firm around your figure, as though he couldn’t bear to leave you alone again, even while dormant.
The overbearing weight of your thoughts had long since mitigated, your chest rising and falling to the same rhythm as Mingi’s, and now that it was no longer overcrowded with taxing angst and negativity, hints of credibility laced themselves into his words. You ran your pointer over his knuckles—his fingers draped over your hip—a silent ‘thank you’ stuck in your throat as you mooned over the tomorrow he’d drawn out for you. A tomorrow you wanted. A tomorrow you didn’t dread. A tomorrow illuminated by a gentle sun, and a contagious, toothy smile.
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triysn · 8 months ago
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Remembering that rex is a manipulative little shit and here to remind myself of that fact again. He did very much
goad Biowulf for an entire episode the second he caught onto the fact there was blood in the water, pinpointing his sore spots to the extent that within a couple of hours, Biowulf—VK’s most loyal right-hand man—was willing to betray his ‘master’, go against their mission and help Rex and Circe escape all because Rex made him doubt his position in the pack
Do that bait and switch with No-face for the data stick, plus another bluff with gatlocke re: the bomb
That alliance episode again where he was outright guilt-tripping circe during the fight with no face. That little bastard was perfectly fine but he was swooning like a trained victorian lady. Don’t forget this incident is literally a direct contributing factor to Circe finally leaving the pack so it actually worked
That one episode with Annie and Claire where rex was doing all sorts of over-engineering to get Noah some. Like it’s not a real genius idea perse. But it’s definitely manipulative.
When he fear-mongered breach into giving circe back without a fight and getting rid of quarry in one fell swoop. Like he didn’t just make the trade, this guy planned for this. He built up to it. He had the recording on hand, he was all like “uh oh, VK’s hard on failure right uwu”. Wanna save your skin? Better cut a deal with me. And he didn’t even give up the recording in the end, which means he still had blackmail on breach after the trade
Making the deal with nightshade aka jungle cat. half of it is because he’s a good person probably and didn’t actually want to have to kill an EVO without looking for an alternative, but also he pressed the exact right buttons. He wasn’t like “it’s for the good of humanity and revenge is bad”. It was literally just “here’s something we can do for you and here’s something you can do for us. Kill Van Kleiss? Bitch, what do you think I’ve been trying to do”
Mentioning Alliance again bc Rex was just a scheming little gremlin bastard for that ENTIRE EPISODE.
Enemies mine when he tricked his entire rogues gallery into trapping themselves. he knew they had a tracker on him and immediately was like. Ya know what.
HK rex gets an honorary mention for being a bigger red flag gremlin off screen than our rex could ever be
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amandapearls · 3 months ago
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Not the antis saying that Elriels are the ones that don’t care about Elain…💀🤡 Because apparently Az would do the things he does for Elain for everyone else and that he just sees her as another lover, that he wants to keep a secret.
I’ve also seen them point out that Az was still dreaming and lusting ovwr Mor when Elain was just THERE. I mean, first of all… we don’t know the extent of his feelings for Mor. We just know what everyone assumes LOL. And yeah, Az is there to save people, he defends very strongly those he cares about, but did he EVER had a reaction to anyone else like he had for Elain when she was taken for example? Nope. Alsoooo, Elriel just has a normal build up, from friends to (almost) lovers. It took some time for Az to get over whatever he was feeling for Mor. Ofc. But he developed a friendship with Elain in the meantime, that turned into something more eventually. Even in ACOSF is said pretty clear that he basically gave up to Mor. After all this time. But I’m repeating myself, we don’t know the exact extent of what he felt for Mor. Maybe he just let ppl assume lol, bc I refuse to believe he’d just act like he doesn’t get the hint from Mor for like 500 years, when he knows basically everything. Things are more complex than that.
And the ones that don’t like Elain are the ones that pair and force her with a male she doesn’t want. At all. Guess which one is that. SJM said that it’s obvious who the next book is about and she also build this ship for several books now. Just stop pretending your ship has ANY chance. The lies y’all tell yourselves just so your ship can “earn” half a point in the romance department are laughable.
I genuinely can’t wait for the day to prove y’all WRONG. 💅🏻
Goodness you guys love sending long as hell anons.
1. I’d say that if you ship Elain and Azriel then you don’t really love Elain. If you loved Elain, then you’d ship her with the person who would treat her the best and actually care about her wellbeing (aka her MATE). Also, we don’t have Elain’s POV yet, so nobody truly knows how Elain feels about her mate.
2. When Rhys confronted Azriel about Elain in the bonus chapter, Azriel did NOT say “I think I’m in love with Elain” or “she’s special to me” or “I really care about Elain”. Nothing. Instead he called her the third sister. Then let us know that he “hadn’t gotten that far in his planning, certainly NOT beyond the fantasies that he pleasured himself to”. Sounds like lust to me. And since Rhys can read minds— I’m sure he heard Azriels thoughts and knew that it wasn’t love. Rhys did the right thing here.
3. Rhys confronted Azriel about Mor in the bonus chapter and Azriel completely ignored that question. Hence, I do think Azriel still has some unresolved feelings for Mor that he needs to get over before he’s with anyone.
4. It’s stated multiple times throughout the book series that Azriel looks at Mor with “heat and longing”. And at the end of ACOMAF, when Azriel was poisoned he still tried to protect Mor. His sole focus was on Mor. So I’m pretty sure his feelings for Mor are spot on with what other characters have said in the books.
5. Sarah stated it was obvious and it is. The next book will be Azriel’s with Gwyn as his love interest. I think Azriel will finally get over his unresolved feelings for Mor in his book and he will fall in love with Gwyn. Based off ACOSF and the bonus chapter, I think it’s clear that they’re definitely mates. Especially since Gwyn is the only female to ever make Azriel feel a “spark in his chest”. Sounds like mates to me.
Can’t wait for the next book announcement too ❤️❤️
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its-time-to-write · 1 year ago
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Hi!! I hope you’re well! This ask is a little diff from the norm BUT it’s with Jamie and Bea (his daughter OC you created I don’t remember her name exactly I’m so sorry) but basically it’s her like dealing with a stupid boy who reminds her father a lot of himself and he helps her understand that she’s worth the world!! She eventually finds herself an amazing guy and tells Jamie sm like “I wouldn’t let myself settle for anything less than the example you set”? Anywho I’m always here for Jamie in his dad era so if you’re inspired TY ILY YOURE AMAZING KEEP SLAYING I REREAD YOUR FICS LIKE EVERY NIGHT🫶🫶🫶
wow, two posts in one day?😱 the mission to clean out my inbox continues! this fic is a little out of my wheelhouse, but I did my best. the title is from “betty” bc teens are dumb and also great. here are the other fics in this universe:
you’re losing me
i’ll still be right next to you my dear
today’s a day like any other
lyrical smile, indigo eyes
thanks for requesting!!🩵
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i don’t know anything
“It’s just for school, Jamie,” you say.
“Yeah, it’s just for school, dad,” Bea says. 
You point to her from the kitchen. “Stay out of this, kid.”
She puts her hands in the air and backs away. “And hang up your bag!” you call.
Jamie hovers over your shoulder. He’s supposed to be helping with dinner, as he’s taken up cooking more since his retirement from football. 
“Look,” you say as you slice vegetables, “you said nothing when Theo had a girl over last week. Why are you so fucking weird about Bea having a boy over?”
“Because- she- he- it’s different,” he sputters.
You hand him a head of lettuce with the command, “Shred.” He starts tearing it into pieces, letting it fall into a bowl.
“And how, Jamie Tartt, is that different?”
“Theo is fucking twelve. He’s a kid. Bea’s fifteen and a dead knockout. She got both our looks and your brains. Any knob’d be fucking lucky to have her.”
“Yeah, okay,” you replay. “He’s still going to be here in five minutes. And you’re going to be nice. She likes this boy, Jaim. So we’re going to be supporting and fucking grateful that she’s not sneaking around, got it?”
“Fuck’s sake,” Jamie grumbles. “This is what I get for being a prick as a kid. Bet you and Keeley think this is fuckin’ hilarious.”
The doorbell saves you from replying. Bea yells, “I’ve got it!” as she thunders down the stairs.
She appears a moment later with a boy dressed in the same school uniform as her. 
“This is Isaiah,” she says. Isaiah snorts and looks away, so you put a hand on Jamie’s arm to stop him from doing anything.
“It’s nice to meet you, Isaiah. Can we get you anything? Water, a snack?”
He shrugs and says “Nah.”
There’s an awkward pause before Bea says, “Right! We’ll just be in the living room.”
They leave and Jamie turns to you. “I don’t like that kid,” he whispers. You don’t either, but you’re not going to tell him just yet. You’ll give the kid a chance because you have a weird soft spot for absolute assholes.
You squint at him for a moment then say, “You know, if we’re quiet, we can listen in.”
Jamie grabs your head with both hands and kisses you. “This. This is why I married you. Fucking brilliant.” You smile and pat his cheek.
Their voices float in the kitchen and you can’t quite catch what Bea’s saying, but it’s definitely a question. Isaiah’s response is… not exactly kind.
Jamie mouths, the fuck? and you frown. He has a look in his eyes that you haven’t seen since the days he used to brawl with Roy. You’re considering a brawl of your own.
Give him a minute, you mouth back.
You half-heartedly continue chopping while straining to hear as much as you can. It’s not good. He’s not being explicitly mean, but he sure as shit isn’t kind.
You and Jamie are so intent on trying to listen that you don’t hear Theo come in the room. “What are you doing?”
The two of you jump and swear. “Jesus feck, kid, don’t sneak up on your mum like that.”
“You’re the one who jumped the highest dad,” Theo points out. “Mum, can I have a snack?”
You say, “Sure,” and absentmindedly point to the fridge.
“Fuckin hell, did Bea eat the last of the cake?”
“Fucking hell,” echoes your youngest, Georgie. She’s seven, and like Theo’s shadow.
“Don’t say ‘fuck,’” you and admonish in unison.
“Can you be fucking quiet??” Bea whisper-growls from the doorway. “We’re trying to study.”
The four of you make your apologies as she leaves.
Two hours later, Isaiah’s left and Bea’s on the phone with her best mate. You can hear her saying something in a favourable tone.
“Why the fuck did you let that little prick into our house?” Jamie seethes. “Fucking tosser. He’s not good enough for her, and I don’t give a shit what you have to say about it.”
You shoot him a Look and he apologizes. “Sorry babe, it ain’t about you. I do care what you have to say. Just- I fucking hated that prick.”
“Give her a week,” you say. “If you tell her never to speak to him again, she’ll do the exact opposite, yeah?”
“Yeah, alright,” he grumbles.
It’s formal season. Bea’s sixteen and over the moon, talking about the boy who asked her out. 
“He’ll be here any minute. Dad, you’re still driving us, yeah?”
Jamie smiles and wipes lipstick out of the corner of her mouth. “Whatever you want, love.”
Bea smiles back and fiddles with her necklace. “I hope he likes this dress,” she frets.
Jamie grabs her hand. “Oi, any kid would be fucking lucky to be in the same room as you, let alone at a formal. Isaiah better fucking behave.”
“Don’t say fuck,” Bea says automatically, then she frowns. “I’m not going with Isaiah.”
Jamie’s face twists into confusion. “Why the fuck not?”
“He’s a prick,” Theo calls from the next room, followed by, “Ow, mum, my ear!”
“He is a prick,” Bea says.
“I’m a prick,” Jamie points out.
Bea scrunches her nose. “You were a prick, Dad, like, three decades ago when you were my age. Now you’re just an old softie.”
Jamie shakes his head. “Don’t know how old you think I am, love, but you’ve got your maths all wrong.”
There doorbell rings and you call, “I’ve got it!” as Bea panics with a last-minute hair adjustment.
“Oi,” Jamie says gently, “you look beautiful, love. Just like your mum. Glad you dumped that prick.”
Bea shrugs. “I had to, dad. Couldn’t be with him when I have a dad like you.”
Bea’s date, Thomas, walks into the room all smiles. He shakes Jamie hand then shyly slides a corsage onto her wrist. He is a far cry from who Jamie was at that age. This kid doesn’t seem so sure of himself, like he’s trying very, very hard not to mess things up. He and Bea whisper about something as you sidle up to Jamie.
“We did good with that one,” you whisper in his ear. He smiles. Thank god she doesn’t have her mum’s taste in men.
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loonymooony · 3 months ago
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JWCT PROMO IMAGES BREAKDOWN WHAT WHAT
WARNING POSSIBLE SPOILERS!!!
also please only take me semi-seriously because I am not mentally ok and will not be until season 2 drops or at least until I can walk again
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First order of business, these signs, it’s so random they would just drop random signs on us like like this so here’s my prediction/breakdown:
oke so it looks like these are all on the ship, so everything in the first episode
• Hmm lettuce not for crew use? THE CAMPERS ARE GONNA USE IT BCS THEY ARE THE EMBODIMENT OF “This sign cannot stop be because I can’t read!” • Oh? A live dino? Wrong. That dinosaur is gonna be dead af
• Do not feed the dinosaurs? Oops. Also this insinuates that there are professionals on board BUT I AM WILLING TO BET ALL MY LIFE SAVINGS (1/3 of a penny) THAT THERE ARE NO PROFESSIONALS ON BOARD AND THE WHOLE CREW FREAKS OUT WHEN THE DINOS ESCAPE
• Hmm it seems that this sign reads “Power must remain on at all times” yeah I don’t think that’s happening, idk why just have this gut feeling that some dinos might escape
• I’ve already yapped about this one but in summary: THAT LOOKS LIKE A VERY SUSPICIOUS KENJI, SHOULD WE REPORT IT? (I feel like Dora saying that)
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My beloved waifu pookie cutie patootie Brooklynn throwback 🥰🥰 good to see that after everything, it’s still you. Also her hand? arm? is tied to to the control so either someone helped her or is forcing her to work or she can do that herself while Imm over here struggling to put a bracelet on myself 😭😭
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GIRL BOSS BROOKLYNN THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I WANT TO BE LIKE I ASPIRE TO BE LIKE HER GIRLBOSS BADDY QUEEN SLAY GIRL 🥰🥰🥰 (i love her sm guys)
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Trying to piece the timeline for this: looks like it’s from after the atrociraptor attack but I could be VERY wrong since there doesn’t look like much doom and gloom happened in what I presume to be Darius’ cabin. Also she has *proper* lock picks in her mouth (look for once she’s well prepared and not using a bobby pin even though bobby pins r great no hate to them) It looks to me as if she’s in his cabin stealing some DPW documents that she either left in his cabin (doubt it) or that Darius already had due to his previous job. It doesn’t really look like a friendly visit or an “I miss you visit” it just seams pretty sketchy (sorry Dinostar nation)
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DLN probably stands for “Dinosaur Liberation Now” AND OMG GUYS REMEMBER WHEN RAPTOR MASK WAS LIGHTING A FIRE (basically doing arson) in the trailer? COULD THIS HAVE BEEN IT? who am I kidding it was obviously him during that moment
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These two shots have the same lighting and are probably together, HOW TF IS BROOKLYNN SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THIS, IK DREAMWORKS SAID TWO MAIN CHARACTERS WOULD DIE BY THE ENF OF THE SEASON BUT THEY CANT KILL MY POOKIE OFF TWICE!! right?
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All these scenes look like their from the same episode, maybe Brooklynn was trying to do something and got caught or she was being escorted to do something by her pet Red and whoever else is there
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ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS POSSIBLE DINOSTAR REJECTION SCENE 💔💔💔 DARIUS LOOKS SO SHOCKED AND SAD I ACTUALLY CANT I FEEL BALD FOR THE GREEN BEAN 😔😔 (im so sorry to the dinostar nation and it’s leader @livsmessydoodles)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ anygays I have reached the image limit so expect part 2 soon!!!
(@lezabeththetheodoraimposter)
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crazy4myself · 9 months ago
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No Harm List | Pt. 14
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Word count: 5.5k ish
Warnings: explicit language, violence, sexual themes
Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy’s life, not knowing that he is the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.
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A/N: Hiii lovelies I know it had been literal years since I’ve properly updated. To avoid confusion you may want to go back a few chapters to refresh; I recommend part 12. Also some of the next few chapters may look familiar bc I re-wrote them. But I think you will like this version much better :)
“Why did you avoid me after we kissed?” you asked again, your voice clear. You did not make yourself elaborate. You didn’t tell him how you’ve felt lost and helpless these weeks. And if you could take it back, you would. But if you were honest with yourself, no part of you really wanted to.
You just looked at him expectantly and watched him squirm in the silence. “Because.. I’m a coward,” he offered, looking down at his hands.
Your silence was loud in the air between you, pressuring him to keep talking, “I was scared because BTS has already put you in so much danger already. I mean, we're not even dating, and you were basically held hostage.”
“Don’t pin this on me.” you cut him off. You knew it was a valid point, but it wasn’t his only reason for not talking to you. “Whether or not I endanger myself to date you is a decision for us to make. Why did you avoid me?” you asked again.
“I was scared. I was scared it was an impulsive or pity kiss after being shot. I was scared you didn’t have feelings for me, so I avoided the rejection.”
You quirked a brow in disbelief. Oh, sure, he was scared of you rejecting him. “It’s true!” he insisted.
“And I don’t even know if I could date you,” he added, and you felt a part of your chest ache at the confession.
“I don’t know if I'm capable of dating with my lifestyle. It's not only a safety hazard, but I don't know if I’m capable of giving you any more of myself than I already have. I think about you all the time. And I love spending time with you. But our friendship, where we were before that kiss, it’s all I know how to give people.”
He turned to you, eyes searching your face for any signs of hurt or betrayal, but he couldn’t read your expression as you quietly whispered, “And what if I told you that’s enough?”
Jungkook parted his lips but was at a loss for words.
“I’ve never really dated,” you explained, “And I don't think I know how to. And school is so stressful, and the program is only going to get more complex. I’m not sure I have time to learn and figure out the ‘right’ way to do it.” You paused as you saw his eyebrows furrow in confusion, and you realized how contradictory you were sounding.
“I like you, Jungkook. I like what we have, and I liked kissing you. But before now, I didn’t think I could date you. Not because of the whole ‘gang’ thing. But because I think-” your voice cracked, “I think something in me broke when I lost Daewon. I never,” You paused to swallow.
“I will never let anyone in like that again because it hurt so bad when I lost her. And we weren’t even together romantically. So, imagine how bad it would hurt to lose a partner?” a hot tear rolled down your cheek, and Jungkook reached up to wipe it. You leaned into the comforting heat of his touch as his callused thumb rubbed soothingly on your cheek.
“What I’m trying to say is we both clearly have boundaries and walls. And we both suck at keeping the other out of some of them. So what if we loved eachother in whatever fucked up way we know how and at least reap the benefits of having shitty partners?” You offered with a hesitant smile.
“The benefits being?” Jungkook asked with a quirked brow.
Mischief glinted in your eyes as you smiled at him before lifting onto your knees and crawling towards him on the couch. Jungkook knew this conversation wasn’t over. He knew he should stop you and assure you that nothing about you was broken for being cautious about who you loved. He wanted to tell you that you were good and kind and would make an incredible partner in any capacity, and he was worried he wouldn’t deserve what you were willing to give. But his mind went blank as you inched so close that he could feel your breath against his face as you murmured, “I can think of a few.”
You moved confidently but still grazed your lips against his in the softest touch as if asking for permission.
Jungkook leaned forward, capturing you in the kiss and pulling you into his lap. It was just as hungry as last time, as if he had been waiting to taste you again. Jungkook felt his body come alight at the joy of feeling you pressed against him. His hands rubbed eagerly against your thighs before wandering up your sides, your arms, and your shoulders as he took all of you in.
The touch wasn’t as much for pleasure as it was a claiming. But still, you skin tingled in response. A trail of goosebumps rose in the wake of every brush of his callused hands.
Finally, you broke the kiss to catch your breath. Pressing your forehead against his, you both smiled like idiots as you took eachother in.
Jungkook leaned in to kiss you again, softer this time. As if the raw desperation passed, he would savor every second now that he had you. His hands were firmly on your waist, and his thumbs rubbed in a soothing motion, lower, and lower as they crept under the hem of your shirt.
You felt core core turning molten and couldn’t reflect back on the last time you had been with someone in this way.
Jungkook’s mouth was hot against your neck, trailing down from behind your ear lower and lower, looking for the spot that made-
You gasped and arched against him in pleasure, your chest pressing harder against his.
There it was, his mind thought in primal satisfaction, as he bit down right above your pulse point, making you writhe against him further. He had been replaying the sounds you made during your last kiss in his head an embarrassing number of nights he was alone. He wanted to map your body right now and learn every spot that made you sigh and moan for him. His hands had migrated further up your ribcage, your skin flushing hot beneath his touch as his thumbs swiped just below your bra.
He was about to reach around to unclasp it when a cough from the kitchen cut his ministrations short. You both turned in shock to see Yoongi placing an expresso pod in the coffee machine.
“J-Hope is in the garage you might wanna,” he waved his hand in the air in a vague gesture to separate. “Or don’t,” he said with a shrug, “I think his reaction would be funny.”
You were scrambling off Jungkook's lap and shoving a pillow between the two of you. Your lips were swollen and bruised from the kiss. You straightened your shirt, which was more rumpled from your earlier fight than anything, and placed a pillow between the two of you as if to protect your chastity with seconds to spare before the sound of Hoseok’s footsteps echoed from the garage. You locked eyes with him as soon as he made it in the entryway. You could feel the anger radiating off of him as he entered the room.
“What happened?” He demanded.
Jungkook calmed his breathing, grabbing the pillow barrier to instead place on his lap as he reminded himself that the bakery was attacked. Hoseok had no clue that Jungkook was just kissing his best friend and that he was not in danger.
“Hobi!” you were up in an instant, ignoring his foul temper as you wrapped your arms around him.
He caught your embrace effortlessly, his eyes tracking you and then noting Jungkook and his new emotional support pillow as he squeezed you tightly before letting you step back.
“Are you okay?” you both ask in unison before cracking a smile.
“I’m fine I just had to lay low. What happened at the bakery tonight?” Hoseok pushed.
Your smile faltered for a moment. “There was an ambush, they didn’t touch me. I can’t say the same for them, but they’ll be fine.” you started.
Hoseok’s brow rose at your implication, “You took out four of the Black Tips best men?” he asked. He didn’t sound disbelieving, he sounded… impressed and maybe a little proud.
“Only two, and I wouldn’t call them the best. Why are you here if you’re in hiding?” you asked, ignoring the way his approval warmed you chest. “And why were you in hiding? And when did you dye your hair?” you pushed. Reaching up to touch the murky black locks. It was obviously box-dyed and barely covered the bright red it was days earlier.
Hoseok smiled tight-lipped before moving to the couch, “I’ll tell my story if you promise to tell yours when Jin and RM get back.” He offered.
You refrained from pointing out that the reason you were at the Den in the first place was to do exactly that. You were too eager to get some answers from Hoseok. Who quickly filled you in on the details of the fake assassination attempt that ended in a not-so-fake assassination charge. That led to Hoseok and Yoongi hiding out in some shitty safe house an hour outside the city, living off Raman noodles and re-dying their hair to more subtle colors.
By time Hoseok had finished, the other members of BTS began filing in. Hoseok told you they had only been called out of hiding so Yoongi could manage the video footage of the bakery and nearby security cameras for the police department and insurance claims. Jin wanted to edit out any evidence of a gang-related interrogation, or else their relationship was going to get a lot more complicated with the local authorities.
But apparently, there was no need. Yoongi was fuming when he returned from his office, informing the others that while the security cameras were able to stream live footage to their system, the memory had been wiped from BTS’s computers.
He still had to cover their tracks of abducting the Black Tips on any city cameras. But otherwise the gang was relying on you as the sole witness to the night's events.
Well, you and the four Black Tip members who attacked you. The men were currently stored away in a safe house under the greenhouse on the Den’s property. But with the excessive exposure to Jimin’s smoke, there was a chance their memories would be unreliable, if not nonexistent.
Jimin couldn’t even estimate a wake time for the men due to the level of gas they inhaled. It could be days before anyone could get answers out of them.
When Jin and Jimin finally returned from filing their reports to the authorities, everyone settled in the living room to hear your account. You recalled the night's events as detailed as possible, telling them how the man in the suit tried to buy your loyalty from BTS and describing him to the best of your ability.
To your relief, they all listened quietly while you spoke, and when you were done, it was V who helped you fill in any gaps you may have missed by prompting you with questions. His presence was steady and soothing, and you realized he was giving you a glimpse of the spider at work. The others didn’t dare interrupt him or ask their own questions, they trusted him to gather every drop of information.
What did the man in the suite look like?
Did he ask about BTS’s current movements?
What ‘sins against the city’ did he want to hold BTS responsible for?
What information did he want you to report back?
You didn’t have any answers to half of those questions, confessing you spent most of your time stalling and trying to get the man to reveal why he was bribing you of all people. You were convinced at the time that the alarm had alerted BTS of your situation and that they would arrive at any minute. The thought of the man getting away didn’t seem like a possibility.
And a small part of you, despite promising yourself you owed BTS nothing outside of your contract, couldn’t help but feel like this oversight was a failure on your part. Somehow, you let the gang down.
Jin clarified that the alarm had been disabled along with the cameras hours prior to the break-in. It was by luck and V’s intel that they managed to get to you when you did.
“And isn't that a big fucking problem?” Hoseok growled, unable to stay quiet any longer.
He stepped forward, glaring in Jin and Jimin’s direction, “Do you realize how irresponsible it was to schedule her on a closing shift alone.” He accused.
“Hobi, it’s fine I worked late all the time at my last job,” you started trying to diffuse the situation.
Everyone in the room refrained from pointing out how well that had gone for you.
“No, it’s not fine. This isn’t like your other job. What if they tried to get information from her at that moment, and she had nothing to give? What if V didn’t call in time? There are a thousand different ways this could have gone wrong. She is not a member of this gang,” Hoseok snapped.
You flinched slightly at his tone.
“She doesn’t have the tattoo. Debt and favors aside, she should not be this deep in BTS’s affairs. She should not be alone in our businesses. That bakery is a cover for Jimin’s lab and loitering drug money. Why the hell would you think it okay to leave her alone there?” He continued.
Jin’s face was like a stone as Hoseok lectured him, not wanting his own emotions to invalidate his brothers. “You're right.” Jin agreed, and you could see the full weight of tonight's events take a toll on him as his shoulders sagged and he turned to you with guilt in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry I put you in danger, Ella. We will never let it happen again.” Jin promised his voice was soft but earnest.
“It sure as hell won’t because she’s not working for you anymore.” Hoseok snapped.
“That's not your call to make,” you argued.
Hoseok turned to you, frustration evident on his face, “Do not fight me on this. You know tonight was too dangerous.”
“She was the dangerous part of tonight. She was fine.” Jungkook pushed, standing next to you.
“Stay out of this!” You and Hoseok snapped in unison.
Jungkook’s face puckered like he tasted something sour, but he sat back on the couch's arm.
“Tonight, you were lucky that man wanted you alive. He could change his mind at any point why can’t you see the danger in that.”
“I'm bound by contract to keep working off my debt,” you argued as you turned to RM for backup.
RM crossed his arms, taking in you and Hoseok as he contemplated his response.
“Blood debt runs deeper than civil law,” Hoseok said before his leader could voice his opinion. And a tense stillness fell across the room.
“Have you forgotten she’s on the No Harm List? That we are supposed to be willing to die for her.” he pushed. The whole gang's demeanor changed at the reminder Jimin downcast his gaze as his shame sank into his gut.
“I don’t want that,” you pushed, horrified, “Take me off the list I don’t - I did not ever want that.”
“Daewon, please, why won’t you let me protect you!”
The room fell quiet as his sister's name echoed through the room.
Your chest ached as understanding settled in, “Oh, Hobie,” you sighed.
“We’ll take a vote,” RM ordered, unable to stand another minute of this fighting. “We have damage control to take care of, and everyone is tired. We meet first thing, and we will decide as a team what we should do about Ella.”
Hoseok’s smile was mirthless at his boss’s half-ass attempt to placate him. “See you bright in early,” he said with a salute before turning for the garage.
You stared after your best friend, hesitant to follow him. “And do I get a say in that decision?” you asked RM softly.
RM sighed, “Your opinion will be considered when we vote. You will have full control over how we go about re-negotiating your contract if it comes to it.”
Assuming that was the best you could get, you sighed, eyes flicking over to Yoongi who flanked RM’s left, his arms crossed and his expression stoic.
“I guess I’ll go catch up with Hobi,” you offered hesitantly, not knowing what to do. Yoongi met your eyes but said nothing. Taking Yoongi’s silence as his answer, you squeezed Jungkook’s hand in a silent farewell before you followed Hoseok to the garage.
Hoseok kept his eyes forward as you approached his vehicle. He was sitting in his Porsche the engine purred a soft accompaniment to the rhythmic thump of his music.
“Can I catch a ride?” you asked, already settling into the passenger's seat and buckling before he could give an empty “Sure.” in response.
You didn’t ask where he was taking you as he sped out of the Den’s parking lot and into the streets of the seventh ward. His options were limited if he was still a wanted man, and you figured you would end up at your apartment by the end of the night.
“We need to pick up another box of hair dye. Whoever did yours did a shitty job,” you said, reaching to run your fingers through his hair.
The unique thing about your friendship with Hoseok was you two were forced to mourn together when you were getting close. Meaning you both had a talent for ignoring the elephant in the room and settling into a normal life where you talked around the big issue.
It wasn’t always healthy to ignore your problems like that. But for you and Hoseok, it worked. After big changes like this, you both had a habit of turning off your feelings for a while and giving each other space and time to process instead of forcing each other to talk about an issue before you were ready.
It’s what you did with Daewon’s death. It’s what he did for you when you first found out about BTS.
So tonight, you could make space for him. The two of you could go through the rest of the night without talking about the bakery or BTS at all if he didn’t want to.
You glanced out the window, realizing what street he was turning on.
“We’re going to see Dae?” you asked, surprised as he pulled to the side of the road outside the city’s botanical garden. The gardens were closed, which was no surprise considering it was close to one in the morning. But that was never a problem in the past.
“We didn’t visit her on her anniversary this year,” Hoseok said simply.
You both visited separately, though you wouldn’t point it out. At the time of Dae’s anniversary, you were still giving him the silent treatment for lying to you about BTS. You had visited Daewon’s grave on your own and saw that it had already been cleaned, and her favorite flowers decorated the small plot, meaning Hoseok had already beat you there.
At the time, you had felt guilty for the relief you felt in your chest. Visiting her that day came with the fear that you and Hoseok would cross paths before you were ready to face him. And you think Dae would have been disappointed to see the two of you arguing on top of her grave.
Because of that, neither of you had gone through with your tradition of robbing the botanical gardens.
Your freshmen year of college was filled with many adventures since moving to Alcor was still a novel experience, but it also came with many nights of being homesick. While Gautier was technically a territory of Kros, the country Alcor resides in, the cultures were very different. And the climate was shockingly different in the cold and wet port city where the smell of sea salt was on the breeze, you missed the clean and fresh scent of blooming heathers and rosemary in the spring, and the taste of sweet figs right off the tree in the summer time.
One night, when you were suffering from a rather nasty bout of homesickness, Daewon took you to the botanical gardens and taught you how to break in at night. At the back of the property, a mighty magnolia tree bloomed outside the garden's fence. It was almost too easy to scale the tree’s sturdy branches and dismount on the other side of the garden. The fences were lined with countless bamboo trellises fortified with different vine plants, making for an easy escape anywhere inside the garden.
You remember how your heart fluttered the first night the two of you broke in. You had to make an effort to hold in your nervous giggle as you scaled the magnolia tree and landed on the mossy lawn of the prehistoric trail, which was lined with ZZ plants and ferns with curling fronds. Sneaking your way through the trail and across the lawn of irsis leads you past the desert exhibit and to a greenhouse that honored the terrain of the eastern colony you called home.
The air was warm but much dryer thanks to the special ventilation system, but despite the heavy humidity missing from the air, the small shrub like plants thrived in the rocky soil, filling the air with the fragrant and aromatic scent of rosemary, lavender, and heathers.
You remember how a knot built in the back of your throat as you ran your fingers over the woody rosemary bush, taking in the earthy pine-like scent. Dae sat with you and listened to you go on about your childhood home for hours.
The giant rosemary bushes that were planted around your house were a staple in your kitchen and bathroom growing up. Your mother was always placing sprigs in her hair products, using it as her own perfume.
You told her the story of how your dad always tried to recreate your mother's french toast recipe on your birthday, but he always forgot to sweeten it so it just tasted like egg bread.
You told her stories of how your father courted your stepmom and how you watched them fall in love again, and build a new family together. One you didn’t fit into as snuggly, not for lack of love in your home, but because you were so much older than your siblings and you had your own dreams and life you were ready to find in Alcor.
Dae held you when you cried, then jokingly played the national anthem to Gautier on her cell phone. You guys laughed and danced around the greenhouse as she struggled to keep up with the lyrics.
The memory brought warmth to your chest years later, just like all the other memories with Daewon. But beneath the warmth, a sharp ache still lingered. Daewon wasn’t perfect by any means; she had a temper like her brother, and she could brood like no other.
But she was good. Daewon was good and fun and she loved so fiercely and encouraged and celebrated her friends. She was the type of person to buy you an ice cream after you failed a test and a cake if you passed.
She was the first person to encourage and support you in your adult life, even in scandalous situations like bringing you a spare set of clothes to the frat house so your walk of shame was a bit less shameful the next morning.
“God I miss her,” you sighed as you approached the magnolia.
“Me too. Every day.” Hoseok agreed quietly as he watched you scale the branches.
He was a worry wort and always made you go first in case you slipped.
“Did Daeown ever know? About BTS?” you asked curiously as both climbed higher in the magnolia tree.
“She knew some of it, like selling the spare car parts, and she could obviously guess some more once I got the tattoo, but she didn’t know everything.” He offered as you reached the branch just past the tall fence that protected the gardens.
‘She didn’t know I shot people,’ she could almost hear Hoseok say.
You ducked low as you approached the branch that led into the garden. Grabbing onto the limb above you to balance yourself, you carefully made your way forward as the branch dipped under your weight.
“Careful,” Hoseok warned.
“Whatever,” you said, rolling your eyes as you let go of the limb stabling you, tightening your core as you jumped from the tree. It was less than a 5-foot drop, but you kept your knees bent as you landed, feeling the impact reverberate back into your legs. You hissed as the pins and needles feeling swarmed the balls of your feet.
“You gotta tuck and roll,” Hosek laughed as you wattled out of his way.
You watched as he lowered himself on the branch the muscles in his body tensed before he sprung forward, extending his legs with his knees still slightly bent.
You sometimes forget the athleticism Hoseok hones in his body. You take for granted how smooth and precise his movements are. It was something you still couldn't quite replicate when you trained with Jungkook. But as you admired your friend, you wondered if he was responsible for training Jungkook to master his own smooth agility.
As his feet touched the ground, he pushed his momentum forward, curling into a ball and rolling across the grass.
“Ow fuck!” he exclaimed as he backrolled over a raised root of a nearby tree.
“And that's why I don’t tuck and roll,” you teased, walking towards him, the ach in your legs nearly forgotten.
You wandered out of the exhibit and towards the iris lawn. Dae’s favorite flowers were blue irises. She used to always pick a few of the flowers any time they visited the garden and keep a vase of them in the dorm room.
“You know they’re bulbed plants one day, we can go to the store and get our own,” Hoseok suggested.
“It’s not the same she says they smell better when they’re picked from the garden here,” you insisted.
“It’s not like she’ll be smelling these,” Hoseok grumbled under his breath but obliged when you held out your hand for his pocket knife.
The theft was quick and efficient. You cut loose five of the flower's long stems and returned back to the fence. Taking care that the flowers were unharmed as you shimmied up one of the trellises.
You were both back in the car within 15 minutes and driving down the road to her grave. The visit was a quiet one. Not tearful like in years past, and for a moment as the two of you kneeled and placed the flowers against the tombstone, you didn’t know if either of you were going to speak at all.
“Do you think you’ll ever leave the city,” Hoseok asked quietly.
You looked at him, startled, “You know my dream is to be a travel doctor,” you replied.
“Is that still your dream?” He asked.
You were quiet for a moment, your eyes searching his face for any indication of where he was going with this.
“Y/N, you were determined once. Focused. You lived and sacrificed for that dream and would never jeopardize it. And lately, you’ve-” You closed your eyes as you caught on to his intentions.
“Continued to sacrifice for it,” you interrupted him, “everything I’ve done, the debt I have isn’t so I can play gangster. It’s so I can finish school. The moment I graduate and the moment I pay off my debt, I’m leaving the city.” You assured.
“You could leave now,” he urged.
“Take a residency somewhere I know your grades are good enough for that accelerated program.”
“I can’t run out on my debt. They will find me.” You hissed.
“They won’t. Jungkook will pull RM off your trail, and they can’t send me after you. I would go with you. You’re the only family I have.” Hoseok pushed his voice urgent, “Things are getting bad. There’s a turf war brewing, and the Black Tips aren’t working alone. I don’t think that man who came after you tonight is from the west side. If power players from the East are involved, this whole city will go to shit. This isn’t a petty fight; people will die. The inner circle and whoever is affiliated with them will have a target on their back.”
“What about Yoongi?” You asked.
Your question was double-sided. You knew about Hoseok’s feelings for him and his unwillingness to move on from him over the years. Hoseok was always privet with the gang side of his life, but even before you knew of BTS, you knew of Yoongi and the web of feelings he carried with him. And you also knew of the second's ability to track down and find anyone. If RM wanted either of you dead, Yoongi would find you in a heartbeat and probably had the skill set to dispose of you himself, too.
Hoseok's eyes downcast “He would let us go.”
“You’re expecting a lot of loyalty from someone you plan to betray.” You pushed.
“You’re putting up a hard fight for someone who claims they don’t have a real reason to stay,” he pressed back.
You looked away from your best friend. The man who treated you like his own sister from the beginning. Who was ready to give everything up and run to make sure you were safe.
Why weren’t you willing to give up your fraction of this world in return?
“Perhaps things are more complicated than I give myself credit for. I kissed Jungkook, and I can’t just leave until I figure that out.” You admitted embarrassed. You braced yourself for the teasing or the anger. But Hoseok's face was calm as he responded his eyes ernst and urgent.
“I fucked Yoongi,” Hoseok countered. “If I don’t leave now. I never will.”
A/N: I haven’t updated in so long I totally forgot how tags and formatting work on this post. Hopefully it finds the intended audience… let me know if you read and enjoyed it!!! Xoxox
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catastrophicdisasters · 5 months ago
Text
alright i need to ramble abt TUA s4 somewhere that isn't at someone who doesn't care lmao
putting it under a see more bc a lot of it is based on stuff that's been said in the recent cast interviews and could definitely be considered spoilers
tl;dr: a theory post about who, if anyone, i think is going to die this season (and why, ranked by how narratively coherent i think their death would be, and how it would - or wouldn't - round off their character arc)
emphasis on the "i think", as obviously this is my opinion on what i think would make a satisfying narrative
so, in one of the interviews from today, Robert is asked how he feels about the "kind of sacrifice" at the end of the story, and his response is "yeah there's a kind of death that happens" and to then wax philosophical about physical death vs the kind of death that happens when the memory or the person is gone, and how there's a "kind of passing that happens"
and like, most people are convinced that someone's going to die by the end of the season, myself included, but i've just had another idea Robert really talked AROUND the word death, saying "a kind of death" and "a passing", and with him talking about that 'do you die when you physically die or when nobody alive can remember you' style thing, I'm thinking that maybe someone gets themselves erased from the timelines
so they still EXIST, as theyre not physically dead, but because nobody can remember them, it's still a kind of death (exactly like Robert said)
whether or not that person retains their memories is kind of irrelevant, though them keeping them does make for a more tragically satisfying arc - they gave up their existence to keep their family safe/save the world, and yet none of them will ever look at them with recognition or love again, and will never truly know just what they did for them. i think that could be done really well, as there's a special kind of beauty in a character who is happy to accept their own end in order to protect those they love (also, if i wanted to get super analytical of that, i could draw parallels between that idea and the trailer's choice of song - The End; the opening song of The Black Parade album, the funeral song that kicks off the narrative album with themes such as the life that comes after death-)
~
now, with that said, i want to go off about who my top choices for death/erasure actually are:
well, first i want to say who i don't think it's going to be, and that's Diego and Lila. and that is because they've set up this little family arc for them via Lila's pregnancy, and right from ep1 it was established that Diego was the most attached to Grace - his mother figure - highlighting the importance of the parental figure in his life. both of them have a strong sense of detachment and independence / not needing anyone else, while actually longing to be part of something, to have a family unit. so with the two of them now being married and having a child together, especially given what Ritu said in an article - that "they are not really communicating and are snapping at each other" - it sets up the perfect arc for them to find their place, together, and forging the family dynamic they both so clearly want.
I could talk more about them (i.e, Diego having multiple instances that make reference to his desire to prove himself to his father, vs Lila collapsing post s2 because she just wanted to know if The Handler - if her mother - ever really loved her), but that's not the point of this post
so working backwards from who i think is least likely (and why, obviously):
Viktor:
- originally i had a big question mark over Viktor, bc ive always kind of struggled to pick up the threads of his arc, but even then i still don't think that death/sacrifice would be narratively satisfying for him? is it possible that he sacrifices himself to save his family? i mean… i guess? he's always been more passive and less confrontational than the others, so even if the opportunity presented itself i feel like someone else would probably beat him to the punch
- BUT, that's still not actually the reason i think it won't be him - it's because i think a more satisfying ending for him would be for him to have everything he was denied in childhood. with him coming out, they've set themselves up really nicely to push an ending for Viktor that has him finding himself, understanding himself, and finally being happy with himself. whether he ends up keeping and accepting his powers or not makes no odds as long as HE makes that choice for himself! let him be surrounded by family/people who love him for who he is, let him choose to live for himself and be happy!
Allison:
- i have a similar problem with Allison that i have with Viktor, in that i don't really know where her arc is going, at least as far as the Hargreeves are concerned. Allison's been pretty clear that her priority is her daughter, getting back to her daughter, protecting her daughter. and now she has her back. and she even has Ray back!
- i've never reeeeally been a fan of redemption through death (though there are exceptions), so the thought of her being the one to die/sacrifice herself to save the rest of the Hargreeves just… doesn't sit right with me. particularly because i'm also fairly sure i read somewhere that Emmy said that Allison is kind of "done" with the Umbrella Academy family stuff, and that she's all about being a mother again, which brings me to my next point;
- Allison dying would actually have more of an emotional impact on Claire and Ray than it would to any of the Umbrellas. and, as nice as Ray is and I'm sure Claire will be, they are not the major characters in this show. they are not the ones we have spent three seasons connecting and sympathizing with. would her death still have impact? of course! but i think that there's too much to resolve (such as the events of s3, the fact that she already feels done with them all) to make her death be tragic and satisfying, and to still wrap up everyone else's arcs and the story as a whole
- her finding a way to accept and love her Umbrella family instead of constantly trying to distance herself from them, and learning to balance the family of herself, Ray, and Claire, with her family within the Umbrellas feels like it would be more satisfying for her than sacrificing herself to save the Umbrellas / the world
- could she still end up sacrificing herself to save Ray/Claire, and that in turn leads to someone else dying? yes, absolutely! or something happens to Claire and she no longers cares about living because she can't lose her daughter again? also yes, but that feels a bit... too dark, even for tua
Klaus:
- i feel a little controversial, putting him so far down the list (he's still placed fourth out of eight, though), but the thing is - with his powers back, he is functionally immortal. at that point, the only way he's dying is if he chooses to die. which could still lead to a satisfying end!! the boy who was scared of the ghosts he saw, who became scared of dying, becoming the man who chooses to die? very tasty potential, there. contrasts very nicely with the fact that he kept bringing himself back to life without even realising
- buuuut, that would conflict with what we've heard so far about Klaus's storyline this season; Klaus becoming a scared-of-everything germaphobe, having to learn "how not to be scared of life", falling back into addiction, and learning new aspects of his powers. i don't really see how all of that would lean into a storyline of him accepting death, ya know? it's a lot to do, with not a lot of time to do it well
- i will say, though, that i do love the idea of him somehow finding Dave in the afterlife, and that being part of helping him to accept death - that he can be reunited with the love of his life (this falls apart, however, when you realise that Dave's actor isn't currently credited for any episodes on imdb. still doesn't mean that he won't be, but... makes it less likely)
Luther:
- i genuinely debated with myself about who gets third slot between Luther and Five, but ultimately decided on Luther (which i'll further explain during Five's section)
- Luther literally has no purpose outside of the Umbrella Academy. in s1, he was defined by his being the only 'true' remaining member of the Academy, and having been sent to the moon for a seemingly pointless mission (and even though we now know that he was sent there to protect Abigail - she's alive now, so that doesn't really need revisting). s2 also had him at a loose end - he was fighting simply because that's all he thought he was good at, he tried to give his relationship with Allison another go once he realised she was alive, only for it to turn out that she's married, and then he was a (frankly, terrible) spotter for Five during the paradox psychosis fiasco. s3 literally had him get kidnapped by the Sparrows without anyone really noticing, and although he did eventual fall in love and gett married to Sloane, she vanished with the resetting of the universe. Sloane, incidentally, also doesn't have her actor listed on imdb as returning for s4
- he doesn't really have a multi-season arc to finish off; in fact, the only consistent facet of his personality is his desire to protect his family and 'do the right thing', whatever that might be
- i feel like for him, a good arc to send him on would be him becoming comfortable in his gorilla-body and maturing into the confident leader that would be expected of a "Number One". but, given the way his character has evolved (or devolved) through the series so far, i don't really see them doing that
- in fact, i think it's much more likely that they kill him simply because they don't know what else to do with him. which, ya know, kind of sucks
- HOWEVER, i do think there is good potential in having the first major leader-like decision that Luther makes - free from the influence of others - being to sacrifice himself to save his family. the one time he stands up and says "no, i've made my decision, and it's time for you all to respect that" while also tying it back to his overwhelming desire to love and protect his family? oh yeah, that'd be some good shit right there
Five:
- my god please just let the old man rest
- so, i think Five is less likely to flat out die than Luther is, but i do think some kind of timeline fuckery is much more likely where Five is concerned
- considering what Adian has already said about Five's arc this season
- "He doesn’t know what his place is in the universe. When he goes on this emotional arc with Lila, for the first time, he feels there is a reason for living." - i honestly think killing him would be an incredibly shitty thing to do. having him finally, finally, find his place in the universe, after getting stuck in the apocalypse at THIRTEEN, where he finds his entire family dead, proceeds to then spend 40 years alone, trying to get back to his family, before being picked up by the Temps, turned into a killer, finally getting back to his family, only to end up stuck back in his teenage body AND having to deal with three weeks of constant apocalypses, to then kill him???? jesus christ that would SUCK. like, i'm aware i have bias because Five is one of my favourites and i think his arc has some insane narrative potential, but i cannot be the only one thinking that if they kill him after all of that it's just going to leave a bitter taste?
- THAT SAID!! that said, i do think that it's likely that he would be the one that ends up getting erased from various timelines in order to save his family
- his whole thing has been about getting back to his family to save them from the apocalypse - to have him find his ultimate purpose being to do exactly that? it makes sense!
- in erasing himself from this timeline in order to save it, his purpose also then becomes founding the Temps Commission, with the intention of preserving the new main timeline that he literally 'died' to create and protect (and considering that they technically exist outside of the timeline, who is to say this isn't all part of Commission Founder Five's master plan anyway? hell, given that the Commission resides in the year 1955, he can go play guitar with Marty McFly and bitch about the perils of time travel while he's there)
- it would also solve the awkward elephant in the room; the fact that as of s4 he looks 18 but is actually in his 60s. he can erase himself from the main timeline, putting himself back into his old man body, and retire in peace knowing he's successfully saved his family and given them a future by also saving the world
- it's so deliciously tragic
Ben:
- oh god okay here we go
- i adore Ben and don't really want him to die, but i'd be lying if i said that his death wouldn't be incredibly satisfying, in the way only a true tragedy can be
- we all know this season is going to be focused on him and how he is going to be the one to cause the apocalypse this time, so it ending with him would make sense
- Blackman (the showrunner) has also said that he "wanted to come full circle with the family relationship". what is the FIRST thing we know about Ben? he's dead
- for the first two seasons, he haunts the narrative in a literal sense by being a ghost that only Klaus can see and so still sort of interacting with things, but considering we don't yet know what the Jennifer Incident is and how it actually affected the Umbrellas moving forwards, it could turn out that he has also been actually haunting the narrative - he's dead but so much has been driven by the nature of his death
- i also just really love the idea that the first thing we learn about Ben is that he's dead, and that also ends up being the last thing we learn about him
- taking it a step further, given that the Ben in the recap was definitely Sparrow Ben, it would be disgustingly, delightfully tragic for the final fate of Sparrow Ben to be the same as that of Umbrella Ben - that nothing any of them did actually mattered, because in the end, Ben was always going to die (can you tell i like a good tragedy)
- also, going far too deep into it (to the point that this isn't so much evidence that Ben is the most likely to die, but just a nice little tie in), parts of Ben's arc very much tie into the narrative of The Black Parade. you know, the MCR album that the song they used in the official trailer came from. The Black Parade, as an album, opens with a funeral song (just like the show opened with a funeral) and then continues to go over The Patient's life after death, the experiences from the afterlife, and even reflecting back on his life. quite fitting for Ben, in a way
- ANYWAY! Sparrow Ben also spent a good chunk of his time in s3 desperately wanting to be part of the Umbrellas, but having no idea how to go about it. the thought of him sharing the fate of Umbrella Ben and therefore becoming just like him, becoming Umbrella Ben? poetic
- there is also my sort-of half-theory, that the reason Ben is being overloaded with the Marigold is that he's actually somehow channeling both versions of Ben, so has twice the amount he should have, thereby destabilising him in some way, and one of the Bens needs to die. but, that doesn't really tie into Jennifer in any way, because that wouldn't have happened in the original/main timeline
- Ben is also the only character to have actually existed as multiple versions of himself in the two timelines - again, it is a perfect tragedy for him to die in both of them. maybe this time they save him from the Jennifer Incident, only for him to choose to sacrifice himself to save them all. ergo, it didn't matter, it didn't matter, he was always going to die
- i really like a well executed tragedy, okay? i also feel like it's one of the few satisfying ways to successfully kill off a character. still hurts like a bitch, but at least it was worth something
~
okay well, this got sufficiently away from me! kudos to you if you read the whole way through, and i do not blame you in the slightest if you skipped through lmao i also probably missed a few things, and maybe got a few things wrong so uh, whoops on that
tl;dr: probably won't die: Diego, Lila unlikely to die, but possible: Allison, Viktor wouldn't surprise me if they died: Klaus, Luther probably won't die, but might end up erased from the main timeline: Five most likely to die (and would be beautifully tragic): Ben
again again - purely my opinion!! and also what i'd like to see, based on what i personally feel can make a good narrative!
good luck for the 8th brellies <3
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poppitron360 · 7 months ago
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*slides you a 20 [whatever currency you're using] bill* now tell me about how you got to ship valzhang and what you like most about it, along with your headcanons and scenarios
...please<3
THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU.
Okay sorry for taking long to reply I needed to schedule 3hrs out of my day to respond to this because I have a LOT of thoughts- Valzhang was my otp LONG before Valgrace. Be prepared for a lot of caps lock, keysmashes and exited ramblings.
We are phenomenally deprived of Valzhang fanart/fanfiction and that is a CRIME. They are so fun and cute to draw next to each other because they’re just so different- I love how Leo looks SO FUNKING TINY next to Frank.
But seriously, we are lacking. I searched up “Valzhang” on Pinterest earlier and there is NO JOKE only 5 pieces of fanart on there. We need to step up our game!
I’ve already posted this, but here is some Valzhang fanart I drew a while back-
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So, how did I come to become the No.1 Valzhang Defender, you ask? Well…
Reading TLH was going slowly (bc of Spotify Audiobooks and their stupid listening hours feature), but I needed to shovel content into my brain like popcorn and so by the end of the first book I’d known all the spoilers and I knew that Frank and Leo would have a rivalry- and I was already SUPER attached to Leo, so I was prepared to HATE Frank.
So imagine my absolute frustration when I read SoN and found myself absolutely falling in love with this massive softie. I tried not to, I really did, but I couldn’t help it.
So, naturally, I was COMPLETELY on board with them becoming besties.
I was also all for their rivalry because it had so much potential for Leo angst- he’s already antagonising himself because of his powers, so someone else treating him like shit would only make him feel worse- thus I have more ways to cathart my own pain through fictional characters, so either way, it was a win-win for me.
But the blossoming bromance we got from it-
Oh my gods.
I already made a post about my feelings on Valzhang and how Caleo is just a shitty re-cycled version of them, but NO WAY was that all my thoughts, so here goes (and bear in mind I am only on HoH so this isn’t even their arc as a whole):
*Clears Throat*
*Shuffles note cards*
*Clears throat again*
*Deep Breath*
1. FRANK IS NO LONGER AFRAID OF FIRE BECAUSE OF LEO!!!!! I mean HOW CUTEE IS THAT!!!!!! He thought that there was nothing worse than fire, he was terrified of it, it was his biggest weakness. And then he met this tiny annoying hyperactive boy who is the MOST UNLIKELY OF FRIENDS- And he taught him to not be afraid. Like there is a moment where his trousers are literally ON FIRE and he doesn’t freak out because Leo taught him to not be afraid anymore. AND IT’S NOT JUST BECAUSE OF THE POUCH!!!! Frank learns to trust Leo with his life- and there’s that moment in that scene where he’s faced with a choice to give him The Stick or not, and he chooses to trust Leo. He learns that fire (Leo) may seem scary and intimidating, but it can also be good and warm and wholesome and healing.
2. AND IT GOES BOTH WAYYYS!!!!! Leo was afraid of opening up to people, of letting down the mask and letting people see the real him. Sure, he did it a bit with Jason and Piper, but notice how in TLH, he only does it bc he didn’t have a choice. He used his fire powers to save them, and then Jason sort of just pieced together what happened the night Leo’s mom died. The first time he actually TELLS someone about it was when he tells Frank- someone who he thought was big and intimidating and so was putting his defences up with the jokes. To him, Frank looked just like someone who would’ve bullied him in the foster homes, he was the last person Leo thought he’d open up to. But he does, and Frank comforts him. They realise they’re not as different as they thought, and bonded over similar trauma and dead moms.
*Takes another deep breath*
3. LEO REALLY IS SO BRILLIANTLY TINY NEXT TO FRANK. IT. IS. SO. CUTE. Unlike Calypso and Leo, who were not planned out, Frank was WRITTEN to be Leo’s rival. They are exact opposites. The Yin and the Yang. The Sun and The Star (lol). They both juxtapose each other so beautifully- on the surface they contrast and clash but looking deeper they actually parallel each other but ultimately they compliment each other both in flaws and in strengths!!!! (*steadies myself on table* “Whoa, flashback to GCSE Eng Lit- using the same analysis structure. Are you proud of me, Miss Cox?”) But seriously, they initially are rivals because they look like complete opposites- tall/short, muscular/built like a twig, calm and careful/reckless and loud, animals/machines, Roman/Greek, Outwardly confident/Outwardly insecure, etc, etc.
4. But, as I said, looking deeper, they actually have a lot in common. Not just losing their moms, but Leo’s just as afraid of fire as Frank is. The only difference being that Frank’s afraid because of how it could hurt him, Leo’s afraid because of how it could hurt others, which directly contradicts Frank’s initial impression that Leo is self-centred and egotistic. Honey, that’s just an act. They’re also both very insecure, and both feel like the least useful member of the seven, and struggle to feel accepted. Because of how Leo felt threatened by Frank, he put his defences up and lashed out with his jokes, attacking Frank where he was most vulnerable, ridiculing him. They completely misjudged each other at first, and had an ANTI-meet-cute (Leo firing on New Rome) and it took a while for them to take down those walls that they’d built up, making it a lot more meaningful when they do open up.
And now we get onto specific hcs/scenarios I have, and I have a LOT of them:
1. Nico reveals to Leo that Frank’s mom is in Elysium because she gave her life in war to save others, whereas Leo’s mom is not, and instead is in Asphodel, despite all the little things she sacrificed in order to raise him, knowing he’d be important to the fate of the world. This causes a lot of resentment and jealously for Leo, as Frank has the one thing he desperately wants- a chance to see his mom again, make things right, get closure. Frank is annoyed by the fact that Leo is suddenly acting so cold and angry towards him, until Leo finally explains why.
2. Leo’s lactose-free mac n cheese is Frank’s favourite thing on earth. He has some sort of magic ingredient that makes the fake cheese not taste so plasticky, but he refuses to tell Frank what it is so Frank has to keep begging him to make it. Leo also makes it high in fibre and carbs, so it’s good workout food. Leo makes sure all his meals are Frank-Friendly.
3. I need to see them in battle together. Frank is incredibly anxious and overprotective of his tiny reckless bf/bff. Leo’s just a ball of freaking energy bouncing around going “ahahahbahjabkakdfkajkjaaa” and Frank’s like “Leo, no, those have teeth-“ He’s fine though.
4. As much as Frank acts like he hates Leo, he would risk his life for him in a heartbeat. I imagine Leo gets injured in battle and Frank drops whatever he’s doing and just fucking RUNS to help him. I can vividly picture him transforming into an elephant and scooping an unconscious Leo up in his trunk, and carrying him over to the medic tent. Yes, he’s currently being fired on by so many enemies, but nothing matters except getting Leo to safety.
5. Frank helps Leo with his machines. He can turn into small animals and get into tiny spaces, and he can become desert creatures, so the heat in the engine room doesn’t bother him.
6. Frank often finds Leo asleep on top of his blueprints, his welders-goggles askew, and he turns into a cat and curls up next to him to keep him company.
7. Also, when Leo skips meals because he’s spent too long working and he’s lost track of time, Frank makes sure to bring him food and water and his ADHD meds… and then he asks him to make him some mac n cheese.
8. Frank knows about PTSD from seeing his mom and her military friends, and so is often there to comfort Leo when he has flashbacks to the night his mom died, or one of the other miserable things that happened in his childhood.
9. All the things that used to freak Frank out about Leo (Leo making fun of his insecurities, Leo’s fire, the whole Sammy thing-) they are now 100% comfortable joking about together. Before, Frank would get upset when Leo ridiculed him, but now Leo does it as a sign of affection rather than as self-defence, and Frank can tell the difference. It is their love language.
10. When I write fanfiction, I often write important scenes when I think of them, and then write around them. Sometimes, it’s just one or two lines, for example I found this in my notes app the other day:
“I hate Hera,” Leo said, “She yeeted my dad off a cliff.”
“Yote,” Frank corrected.
And I had nothing written around it, nowhere to put it, it was just lying there. Anyway, that was important to share.
11. Also, I have this:
“I’m hugging you now,” Frank said, pulling Leo into an embrace and squeezing him tight.
“O- Okay, big guy,” Leo said, his voice muffled in Frank’s chest. His tiny body was practically swallowed in Frank’s bear-hug. He squirmed and fought and wriggled, but his weakling arms worked about as well as spaghetti against Frank’s brick-like build.
“No,” Frank insisted, “I will smother you with love and affection.”
“Get. Off.”
“No.”
“Let go of me, Zhang, or I’ll burn you.”
Frank let go. Leo rubbed his bruised arms.
12. I ship them platonically, but the joke-flirting is 1000% a thing they do. Hazel is the main pedaler of this, and often introduces them as “My boyfriend Frank, and Frank’s boyfriend Leo.”
13. Frank reluctantly admits to Leo that he likes Taylor Swift. Leo is obvs a swiftie, so absolutely goes MENTAL at this news, ofc ridicules him mercilessly for it, despite how hypocritical it makes him look (“This is not about me!”), but still insists they sit down with Hazel and make friendship bracelets (Frank no longer has the heart to tell him that he wasn’t actually a huge fan, just had a couple of her albums and liked her songs, unlike Leo who knows every word to every song, all the lore behind it, and Tay’s favourite colour, star sign, and shoe size.) AND I KNOW I HEADCANNON EVERYONE AS A SWIFTIE SHUT UP LET ME PROJECT.
14. Frank buys Leo fidget toys he think’s he’ll like. Sure, Leo can make his own, but it’s the sentiment that counts.
15. And they stay friends after the War. Frank frequently visits from New Rome University. They have long iris messages where they gossip and talk shit.
16. Leo becomes godfather to Frazel’s children. Absolutely SPOILS THEM ROTTEN (I also have a shit-tonne of hcs about Leo babysitting Percabeth’s kids, so lmk if you’d like to hear that.) Will visit the Zhang-Levesque household on the weekends, makes the kids gifts, teaches them how to safely use a fire extinguisher, helps them prank their dad.
17. I know Jason is meant to be Leo’s best friend BUT if Valgrace was cannon then that would leave room for Frank to be the BFF. NO BUT, YOUR HONOUR, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND- They started out hating each other, but then became INSEPARABLE once they took the time to get to know each other and realised they were actually really cool people. It’s not enough for them to be friends, they need to be BEST FRIENDS. They need to be their ONE AND ONLY. They need to knock on each other’s cabin doors on the Argo II at 3am and have long discussions about Their Feelings. They need to be 100% comfortable with each other and tell each other everything. Yes, Leo is annoying but he is Frank’s annoyance. Yes, Frank is a goof but he’s Leo’s goof. BEST. FRIENDS.
They’re just such an unlikely pairing, I love them sm.
Thank you for sticking with me, I will not apologise for my ramblings, you were warned, but if you did make it to the end, here, have a sweet 🍬 You are clearly just as dedicated a Valzhang stan as I am (It is currently 00:54am where I live)
I will probably have a lot more Thoughts and Feelings coming your way soon, so don’t think for a second that I’ve got it all out of my system. I still haven’t finished the series yet, and I know that as soon as I post this I’ll think of something else that I should’ve added, but I hope this was enough for now.
(Also, I’m British, so I’d use a £20 (“twenty pound”) Note, in case you were curious.)
Again, thank you so much annon for the Ask- as you can see, I LOVE VALZHANG.
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