#bc i wanna make my new blog more MINE ya know?

[queeranesearch]

i am still making a new blog i prommy, i've just been busy as hell.

[chanstopher]

wait wait i'm NOT ?? THE ONLY ONE WHO'S RESISTED KPOP FOR YEARS??? ok ok first of all u sharing everyone's kpop story makes me all smiley and giddy and i wanna share mine but also i don't wanna intrude bC I'M BABY HERE OK??? BUT LIKE ??? finding ur blog only recently when i allowed myself to actually dive into kpop an stray kids and just soak it all in?? has made me all smiles and i honestly just enjoy following u so much!!!

ok but like?? yes i have REPRESSED AND RESISTED kpop so long bc i'm a rebel and i always have this underlying urge to not??? follow the hype ya know?? i think my first encounter with pop was like?? 2012?? with gangnam style?? and i hate myself for admitting it, but i was studying in australia at the time and there was a music channel i remember which had a kpop segment i think?? so it was like gangnam style and ALSO SUPER JUNION?? (thats all i can remember) and i've listened to a bit of exo on the sideline and then BTW blew up and everyone loved them around me but i was just like NOPE?? BC I COULDN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO FOLLOW THE HYPE??? and i still cringe about the whole youtube rewind 'KPOP!' segment like what was that even back then???

but then i was exposed to the felix effect on TikTok during last fall (ugh yess but i couldn't help it) and it just continued into the new year and now i'm just in the deep end with all things stray kids, going through so many of their songs and their yt videos and i just?? feel so hAPPY GIDDY EXCITED??? but i also cry thinking about everything i've missed out on like ?? moments and memories??? exclusive merch?? PHOTOCARDS ??? (like pls sign me up i wanna sell my soul fo anyone who sells extra photocards i have like none) sbvhjfd

I'M SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT YESS I'm a baby stay and my blog is still in transition but I AM HERE AND I'M gushing about them every day and receiving messages from hyunjin (god he's my fave) and felix and chan on bubble always makes my day and i am just so happy to see what they've accomplished!! LIKE TODAY??? ALL HAPPY TEARS ON MY END!!! i'm literally just waiting for my upcoming internship to accept my wish to be off in july so i can see them headline in paris !!! — thank you for u and ur blog, ur a treasure to follow!!

all baby stays are welcome here I am here for more ppl loving skz always, no gatekeeping here just love and support hehe (and omg thank you im so happy following this blog makes u happy 🥹💕)

i get being resistant to follow the hype especially with music a lot of popular music is really boring and i find myself underwhelmed by stuff ppl REALLY enjoy, and also just not wanting to be a part of what everyone is screaming about is totally valid.

I love that felix did u in tho, and theres always time to catch up on old content! sites like skzflix are superrrr helpful in finding older shows and things! and im always here if ur looking for something or wanna know where anything is from <3 i love how excited and happy u seem to be about skz, i think its always refreshing to have new ppl join in, i think it helps remind ppl who have been in about how exciting discovering skz was for them, and seeing things from a new perspective is so nice!

I hope ur internship gives u the time off! skz are amazing live and i hope u get to experience it!!

[rahleeyah]

This last anon you answered got me thinking about why so many of us keep going back to twitter, even when we openly admit to feeling better after taking long breaks, or call it toxic or are affected by w/e the drama of the week (day?) happens to be. I'm sorry if this seems out of place, but since this is neither the first nor second time you bring up these issues, I figured I might as well share my thoughts here with you.

I can only speak from my own experience, so I'm sure what I'm about to say doesn't apply to everyone. I'm sure a lot of people manage to find great friends over there and enjoy the best that twitter has to offer. In fact, most days I feel like I do a decent job at filtering what I pay attention to over there. But still, there are days, those really bad, depressing, 'the world sucks and I just wanna escape it for a bit' days, when I feel myself being pulled into whatever bad spiral is going on at the moment. Yesterday was one of those, tbh, and I had to stop and ask myself why? Why do I still feel the need to keep going back to a site that more often than not leaves me feeling anxious and upset?

The answer isn't very flattering, tbh, and I might regret sharing this here, but I realized it's not the tweets or the likes or the mentions I'm craving. It's just, you know, somewhere to share my love for these characters/shows with other ppl like me. And that's where y'all tumblr ppl come in and say "why, join us over here where it's calmer and friendlier and slower." I believe you, Leah, because your blog is the perfect example of that. It's such a pure, honest representation of the very best sides of fandom, and you know it's true, since you're always drowning in asks lol. But, damn, it's not quite for me... Maybe it's bc I'm not much of a visual person, so gifs and pictures don't really grab my attention for long? Or, more likely, it's bc it takes time and dedication to shape a blog, and the sheer anxiety I feel every time I decide to put anything out into the wild west that is the internet makes it much easier to do so in short bursts of 280 characters or less. Idk...

Whatever the case may be for other twitter users who, like me, keep using twitter even when it makes them anxious, I have to believe that at least a few of them share my desire for connection. And it sucks that I've been there for months, and the 'friendships' I made are superficial at best. But from the little I gathered from observing other users, many many people feel alienated or left out while 'everyone else is friends with each other'. Some people really are, probably, but it's really hard to tell when we're all 'besties' forever reacting to the latest piece of news that just dropped, be it real or fabricated, don't ya think?

I'm sorry for this rant and for how long it ran... I guess I just wanted somewhere to go a bit more in depth about the seemingly neverending chaos, what with the way it often ends up making it's way to your asks, regardless of your advice to just. not. go. there.

---

This is a submission from @unusualcliches

First I want to thank you for sharing this with me friend. I'm really glad you felt comfortable enough to come here and talk bc it's important that we have places where we can say what's on our mind.

And I wanna apologize, bc I was sort of flippant with my comment about staying off Twitter. I wanna make it very clear I don't hold anything against the people who prefer to use it and I'm not actually recommending that no one go there. Everybody is looking for different things and has different ways of engaging and of course people are gonna have preferences, and those preferences are gonna vary from mine, and that's ok!!

We all want community and Twitter does offer that more easily. I said this in a moment that got edited out of the podcast but I can't imagine trying to get started on Tumblr now. I have made some profound, life changing relationships here, but that took work, and time. I've been shaping my blog for over a decade. Starting from scratch now feels like a herculean task and I totally understand why this platform wouldn't suit everybody's needs.

I am not gonna advocate for people continuing to use social media if it's negatively impacting them, if it's generating feelings of anxiety or isolation, but I am also not gonna judge you or anyone for continuing to do so bc we all do things we maybe shouldn't, or that aren't good for us, big or small, all the time. It's human. It's understandable. We see something that we want, that maybe could be good for us, and we keep coming back in the hope that even if it wasn't good to us the last time, it will work out now. I'm not gonna fault you for that.

Twitter has the ability to connect people quickly, easily, openly; it is much, much easier to find people there. But bc it moves so fast, it's hard to make those connections last. There are people there who post these pictures and share these stories and have clearly found their in-group and that's wonderful! But it's rare. It's rare here, too, rare anywhere; it's a needle in a haystack, really, finding the person or persons out of such a big group who will be your people. You send a lot of DMs that don't go anywhere before you find the one that sticks. But bc Twitter is so public, I think we see more of those connections than you see here on Tumblr. On Twitter it's so visible, you see "oh it's possible to find your people here, look they did it" but you don't see all the times it didn't work out. Like Instagram; you're seeing the shiniest parts of people's lives and not the work it took to get there.

All this to say, it's completely understandable that you feel this way, and I won't blame you for going back even if it's burned you before. It's an act of hope, really. I make the choice not to spend a lot of time there, but that's my choice for myself, and it's not up to me to make that choice for anyone else. I hope you do get something good out of it.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Ok boo now here be a question for ya; what exactly are your like/dislikes when it comes to kink? Bc there's times when I worry about what I write and send might be something you do or don't like 😂😂😂

(but in other news I think I'm going to make a new blog specifically to interact with mha? Because currently it's just kind of weird to pop out of nowhere with my blog lol? I just need to figure out a new username tbh and that always trips me up)

💜💜💜 your going to rock your exams, I know it!!! - gremlin

Hey hey grem anon 😘 hehe is it because I always say that I have so much left to learn from you?? 😂 I mean that in a very positive way ❤ So far everything you sent has been a true lightbulb moment for me Content warning for... everything, probably.

I'm such a sucker for degradation and humiliation, it's unreal (make it public, I'll go feral lol). It's why I love piss so much - even if it's consensual it's degrading as fuck and lends itself to a lot of verbal 'abuse' (and 'dirty talk' is 💯). ('make do' is still one of my favorite pieces of mine on here because of that - and the idea to start this blog came about when I outlined a piss/boot worship fic with overhaul that was just too much for my main) I know I don't write about more hardcore stuff on here as much as I'd like to (mainly because of uni), but even I worry sometimes that I'm taking it too far ('pickings' for example was supposed to be way way more dead dove: do not eat-ish, but I caved and had reader enjoy it.) But yeah, I'm really open - like it states in my rules, the only things that I do not like are scat, vore, feederism - oh and I'm not too big on diapers. But hell, I have written (but never published) snuff 😬 (for a super small fandom so I was like--- do I wanna be that guy?? Nope.) Does that clear up things? And if you send me anything that makes me go 'oh no I don't like this' I won't be mad, I'll probably just let you know. When I say I wanna be absolutely disgusting with you, I mean it 💕 And in regards to the blog stuff - oh yeah please do!! Although just keeping the old one will probably bother no one - my vanilla blog has everything form Steven Universe to bnha to Don't Starve (niche-ass video game lol) - but that is ultimately your decision and whatever you're most comfy with 🤗 But holy fuck I'll be your first follower hehe, I'm a big fan!! And in regards to new usernames... well.. mine are always super cheesy (see this one), but you can do it!! Omg thanks! One week left until my ortho exam and I've been a busy bee hehe. Trying my best 😏

[mirclealignr]

Appreciation Post 🤎

back at it again, my loves. I’m ✨annoying✨ anyway here ya go <3

@approved-by-dentists CLARISSA! my love, my dude, my bro, babe, have i ever told you how much i love you? Because it’s a lot, like a lot a lot. You’re funny, seriously your humour is top tier, you’re unbelievably supportive and ik i could tell you/vent anything and you’d be there no matter what. Alskskkaks i wish we lived closer so i could give you a hug bc ilysm. Your writing is genuinely phenomenal and your mind is beautiful. I could go on all day about how amazing you are if i could, you were one of the first friends I made on here and i cherish you. Sorry i ratted you out in among us bby <3

@im-a-writer-right RIA BBY! omg i love you you’re so hilarious it genuinely hurts. I acc cackle whenever i talk to you, throwing my head back in fits of laughter. Snuggluffagus, you’re so precious and amazing and talented and beautiful. Schmoopie, you’re my affectionate drinking buddy and i couldn’t wish for anything better. You gotta start believing in yourself more because you’re one of the best people i’ve ever met <3

@hufflepuffgirly AMBER! So we haven’t been talking very long, i know, but i really just love you. You’re such a god damn ball of sunshine and a beautiful soul and your writing reflects that completely. You’re such a cutie, so supportive and kind, agh you’re amazing and i could rave about you all day. I love talking to you (even if we both are awful with replies) and i can’t wait to do it more in the future <3

@potterverseimagine LEE! You bloody queen omg. You’re so intelligent? You’re so talented? You’re so amazing? You’re so beautiful? The literally support from you warms my heart and to see your blog grow makes my heart swell. I love talking to you and getting to know you more (and your chaos) and you’re so kind, it genuinely hurts how kind you are. We stan this queen <3

@coffee--writes BRIANNA, if I could, i would shout shakespeare insults at you all day long and never tire of it. That last one you did had me deceased. You’re so amazing and intelligent and i know that whatever you do, you’re going to achieve great things. Your writing is amazing and so unique i literally fall in love every time. I love talking with you, I hope to more in the future because as we’ve found out, our music/book/movie tastes are the best <3

@dogweedanddeathcaps LEE! JESUS CHRIST! omg, i could do it in all caps but i think that’s too far. I actually adore you. You’re incredibly strong, powerful and amazing and someone who i will always aspire to be like. You’re the most supportive squishy bean and i’ve missed you dearly. I’m glad i have the chance to talk to your more because i love doing it. Not only that, but your writing literally does something to me, i can’t cope. I’m always going to be your number one fan <3

@birdie-writes BIRDIE! hello alsksksk. Okay i know we don’t talk a lot, i know and it’s a shame because you’re such an amazing person that really only deserves the best. You’re so talented, your writing and mood boards are such an asset to this community and i know you’re going to far. YOURE WONDERFUL and please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise <3

@yourssuccubus SOOKIE! my boo, again we don’t talk a large amount but you’re amazing. I really think you are. Your writing is phenomenal and i will never get over how long it took me to find it - i’m a fool. You’re beautiful, and funny, and a really incredible person that deserves a lot of happiness. ILY BBY <3

@masterofthedarkness VAL! babe, the fact that you’ve been here so long makes me teary eyed. You were one of the first ones here and i can’t thank you enough for all the support you’ve given me in that time. You yourself are an amazing writer and an even more amazing person. Your chaos and kindness fit so well together, you’re such a bean. <3

@decalcomanei REN! i simp, simping goes both ways, my love. Your writing is phenomenal and that’s not the only place you have incredible talent. Everything you put out just shows off how amazing you are. Alsjsnkask and you can always make me laugh, ilysm. You’re just- mwah <3

@blisfvll JEN! i’m so sorry i said i was intimidated by you lmao. Okay but for real, i know we don’t talk a lot but ily. You’re like? So amazing? I die whenever you reblog something of mine. Your writing is just so incredible and you’re amazingly talented. Like share? Kidding, keep your talent, that’s something you’re allowed to be selfish with <3

@iliveiloveiwrite MILLIE! aldksnkadk i know we don’t talk a lot, or have only recently started but ILY! Not only do i fangirl over your blog and every time we interact or you reblog something of mine, but you’re such a supportive person. Literally kills me how kind you are (and patient because i’m an idiot ;’)) You’re talented, intelligent, wonderful and literally i will never get over your writing. ever. <3

@leahstypewriter LEAH! You’re amazing. Your mind and imagination is your greatest asset and wow wow wow i know you’re going places, i just know it. Because no one with that much talent won’t go places. It’s impossible. I can’t wait to see your books in shops and sitting on shelves. Your beautiful, wonderful and incredible strong for dealing with all that you have and being able to get through it. Ily bby <3

@chaotic-fae-queen ANNA! omg bby ily and how kind and supportive you are. You’re patient, understanding and there for anyone who needs it. You are nothing short of a squishy bean whose talent will always amaze. You’re strong and good natured and ily <3

@just-a-belgian-girl SHAYNA! we don’t taking a whole lot but i just think you’re one of the most adorable people that is so supportive and amazing. I love interacting with you and talking with you because you just bring a smile to my face, always <3

@mytreec AHH HI HELLO! i know we don’t talk but your reblogs and comments actually mean the world to me. I literally can’t describe how happy it makes me when i see you’ve reblogged something of mine. And then to see that you write your own fics now is ever better, you’re incredibly talented <3

@willowbleedsonpaper MIMI! omg i missed you while you were gone but you’re back and ily. I can gush and ik you’re gonna see it. You’re amazing, wonderful, incredible and talented and just a spectacular person that deserves all the love and support in the world, just like you give it - which always warms my heart <3

@chudleycanons EMMY! hi i know we’re fairly new mutuals but like hello hi ily. Your writing is incredible and i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to find it. I haven’t finished your series but i know when i do i’m going to be screaming about it. I love everything you put out, it’s amazing and you’re so cute!!!!! <3

@ccelinewritess CELINE! hi :) i know we don’t talk but um hi :) i think you’re really amazing and idk why but i really just wanna hug you. Um yeah, you’re incredible and your blog aesthetic is everything ily :) <3

@andromedaa-tonks MIA! hello :) i know we don’t talk but your gifs are amazing, i really love them. Like a lot and you’re so relatable god damn. Anyway, ily and um you’re wonderful <3

[taetaespeaches]

From the creators of “Lydia found out she can upload pictures and gifs into your ask box” here comes “Lydia found out she can submit text and stop spamming you with so many asks”.

Because, my love, get ready, this is really something. And I’m sending it today because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I’ll work half day and then I’ll go get new glasses because your girl is going blind and annoyed.

Please just answer this whenever you want, no pressure, this is.. a lot. I’m sorry in advance.

First of all, my data finished because of tete’s vlive, I didn’t noticed they were on instead of my wifi, I felt so stupid lol, but girl DID YOU SEE, is it me or does he looks more mature and holy shit so sexy ?????? what the fuck Taehyung, I’m actually asking, what the fuck? I want to know what is up with the fuck.

In other news, Jin and poopsie are moving in together. I’m in love and I’m totally Peaches chasing down that cup to put it in the trash. I do that, does Peaches also slow down when a pigeon is walking in front of her? bc I do that, they just don’t care and I’m like ok fine pigeon go ahead, they’re funny lol- but that was just lovely, I can’t stop thinking about how GOOD tae looks, although I laughed bc if there’s something my mom hates is when anyone makes noises while eating and Tae is the master of it. I kid you not, my mom wants to slap me and gets SO angry when I do it (I do it just to mess with her lol) but yeah, I’ve shown her videos of tae eating like that and she’s like NO, GOD NO! it’s so funny! because she loves him and doesn’t want to see him doing that, I think he looks adorable and maybe I would slap him too but hey, he enjoys food. He a baby. Must protect.

And in other/other news, you killed me with hobi/petal because I started writing this right before you post that and now I’m just adding it in here: you killed me because, I was just starting to go about those pandemic and awful year topic, I was reading it in the bathroom and I almost cry, my precious babies!! T_T and OH! how much I want to go for a walk! I need it, yesterday I walked a little, but didn’t enjoy it, we were just getting lost looking for the pizza place.

But srsly, walking is so good ??, months ago I could feel my anxiety burning my soul, it was awful and one morning on my way to work we always saw people exercising and stuff and I realized all I wanted to do was RUN. so we started going for walks in the afternoon after I got off work (we stopped for a while bc A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENED) but that first day I walked like no one else lol, I could feel my thighs crying but hell I wasn’t stopping, and I just felt so so so so much better! it was amazing.

Well, there ya go, a health tip: go for walks, if you have a dog I think it’s better, I saw so many dogs I was thriving lol. Now my knees are killing me because they do nothing but sit all day.

But yeah, as I was saying: Liv, I’ve missed you, and I would love to say that it was because I’ve been busy or doing something fruitful BUT NO, I’ve been like a zombie these past 2 weeks because I’ve slept till late some nights and everything’s weird, christmas was fun but also weird, my cousin couldn’t be home bc covid and it’s just weird, then I couldn’t see my bf till yesterday bc he was sick (not covid), and I don’t know, it’s like everything is fine but it still feels weird, you know? Petal says this shitty year is coming to an end but damn if I enjoyed the fact that I found Bts, I don’t remember what it was like before and I don’t care.

I’m so grateful, I was a big one direction fan, but I can’t compare, you know? I was younger, I was in school, I was a different person. And now, I’m still young *cough*, but I’m not in school, I have a job and I’m different, and in a lot of moments when I need it, BTS say “hey, love yourself!” every chance they get! and even if there are a lot more moments when I think “I can’t, nope, not now” I probably don’t love myself like I should, but I can say that I WANT TO, and I never make new year’s resolutions, I don’t want it to be a “I’ll do it next year” thing, but maybe I’ll take that will and aspire for something. This year Covid was the least of my problems, family, friendships and relationships have been fucking HARD and I am freaking scared, not gonna lie, there are a lot of things I have to think about, to decide and act on. But I’m also grateful I have other friendships that I got to renew and helped me keep going. So so grateful.

And I’m so grateful for you, I’m happy I found you because believe me when I say you helped a lot too. Just the thought that I can come here and express whatever thing, whatever novel I write for you: from how sexy I think Hobi is - to also have the trust and talk about anything else, even when we don’t really know each other, I don’t expect to get anything back from you but I get so much and it’s refreshing so THANK YOU for that.

I got a little cheesy, I want to cry. But I mean it. I appreciate the hell out of you and your existence. This is me, I can start by saying Hey Tae’s so sexy and finish with I love you, Liv. I wish you forever happiness.

Happy new year, queen!! 🍾

Here’s a picture of my Christmas tree last night with it’s new lights because the ones I bought last year failed on me and I was so angry I went to amazon and bought these for 25 dlls! - And a picture of my cat (her name is Spinelli) from last christmas, because well… I thought the world should see her, she cute.

(I promise I won’t do this often, I’ll send normal asks. I just thought it would be easier lol)

Stay safe ♥

Hello my lovely Lydia!! I’m cackling about what you said about Tae because those are my constant thoughts lmao. Like how in the fuck is this man so sexy??? And he has that intensity about him just my fucking god Kim Taehyung. The man you are today, sir. I am quite literally in love with him. Also I’m giggling at your mom’s reaction to how he eats- I can definitely see how it would annoy some people haha. I adore the way he eats, the pout :(( he looks so pure when he’s eating I just wanna kiss his cheeks lol. 

Yay for Jin and Poopsie!!! And honestly, Peaches is so relatable for the quirky little things she does and how embarrassed she gets for doing them lol. She probably would stop for pigeons- also that’s adorable, you’re cute. 

I’m glad you discovered that walking makes you feel good and healthy!! It definitely does, I need to start working out more in general. I used to be really consistent but ugh this pandemic has killed all motivation for fitness haha. 

I’ve missed you too!! I definitely understand the zombie-like state, with the end of the year along with a pandemic and then just regular day to day life, it’s a miracle any of us are functioning these days. And exactly, even though it was a shitty year, I hope there’s something we can all be thankful for or look back at as a positive. Find those dang silver linings!! Mine would be that I got more in touch with myself again. I think I’m finally on track for being enough for myself and being my own source of strength and happiness and that was my goal for this year. So even though this year fucked us all up quite a bit, at least I have that. And of course, always thankful to bts lol. I can’t believe I’ve been a fan for three years now, how fucking crazy is that?! 

I’m sorry this year was tough on you beyond COVID, I’m wishing for better times for you in the new year. You absolutely deserve to love yourself and I hope you get to the point where that can be true. But honestly, wanting to do so is fucking fabulous. Keep going, Lyd! 

Lastly!! I’m so so so grateful that you found my blog and actually sent me asks, like oh my god I love seeing you pop up in my notifications and inbox. It makes me so happy. You’re an amazing person, my love, and I’m very thankful to know you. Thank you for not only supporting my work but for being an absolute gem to talk to!! I adore you <3 thank you for your friendship, even if just on this silly app. I hope you’re happy this year and beyond! 

p.s. your tree is so pretty and YOUR CAT IS THE CUTEST LITTLE FLUFF BALL I LOVE HER!!! Give sweet lil Spinelli a cuddle for me <3 

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[klarolinedrabbles]

What are some of the tvd to fandoms greatest hits so to speak... I was only in it for a short time and then jumped out because I couldn't stand to

Oh, well allow me to be your guide. This will be under a read more because I already know, I’m gonna write a whole essay. Shout out to my ride or die @hellsbellschime.

I don’t think any overtly crazy happened during the good!TVD years. No wait, I’m lying.

The year the spin-off got announced, I believe it was tvguide, that posted an article with like info tidbits for currently airing shows. And one of them, was that Hayley was pregnant with Klaus’ kid. I remember this shit so clearly, man. Everyone was so confused. And then they were like SURPRISE, APRIL FOOLS. Because it was in fact April 1st. So ha-ha we all had a laugh, great. Fastforward to what, late April? Episode 4x20 airs, and it’s exactly what happened???

That whole day btw, the day the backdoor pilot for TO aired was just insanity. I’ll say that about a lot of days in this answer, but that day was really just something else. Like we were delirious, that’s the only way I can explain what happened on here. It was a nightmare but also one of the funniest night’s I’ve ever spent on here. I gotta go back for old time’s sake and reblog some of the shit from that night because we all snapped. And not in the good way. 

The TVD 100th. Now, we knew Joseph was coming back for that episode so they hype was real. Because up until that point, we’d gotten a huge load of nothing in regards to Klaroline. They released a trailer, a short one, that’s still in my favorites folder on youtube to this day. I rewatch it all the time because it’s iconic. And there was literally .002 seconds of Klaroline. It’s Caroline standing and then Klaus says “hello, caroline” and everyone lost their shit so much when it dropped that ‘hello caroline’ trended ww on twitter. 

THE DAY THE NETWORK THAT AIRED TVD IN AUSTRALIA AIRED A PROMO WITH THE KLAROLINE KISS IN 5X11. ICONIC. I literally woke up, logged on at around 11 AM my time, and my dashboard was on fire. It was the BEST. We didn’t know wtf to do, it was amazing. 

Paleyfest. Ohhhh buddy, lemme tell ya. So TVD/TO got chosen to have the CW panel’s at Paleyfest that year. Everyone was on a bit of edge because TO to that point was what, almost done with S1 and Klaroline had been given the mega cold-shoulder despite being the very thing other than the Mikaelson’s that got used to lure people in? After the pregnancy plot from hell, everyone was ready to peace tf out, but we got halted because it was a ‘ohh of course it’s gonna continue’ then they tried to nip Klaroline in the bud with 5x11 and no one was having it. So Paleyfest was where we were gonna get some ANSWERS, DAMMIT. I live on the east coast and the festival was held in the west coast so I wasn’t awake when it was happening. I remember making a post about how ‘going to sleep, and hoping when I woke up the answers were good.’. So I went to sleep, woke up a few hours later like 2-3 AM my time, and checked my blog and the first message I had was ‘don’t wake up stephanie, everything is a mess, stay asleep where everything’s fine’ I—

The gist of that was, they basically set JoMo up to be the bad-cop in shutting down Klaroline. He gave this long answer that made absolutely zero sense. The girl who asked the question about Klaroline, who was like 13 at the time, got called a bully for even asking a question at an event she paid to be at. A mess. And JP was like NO CROSSOVERS, ORGANIC, BLAH BLAH. And Paul was sitting next to her going “why can’t the show’s just intersect”, he was right and he said it. 

I can’t remember if this was S1 or S2, but somebody tweeted something and Carina replied ‘when you’re found dead in your basement with klaroline written on you this is why’ or something like that, that was a ~fun~ night. And then like half an hour later she was like “I’m sorry, I’ll never tweet about Klaroline again just leave me alone” if you’ve ever seen this fandom refer to ourselves as basement dwellers, this night is why. 

NARDUCCI. Can’t forget him. Talk about a man who just didn’t get it. And I don’t mean Klaroline, he just didn’t get anything, nothing in his head has ever clicked, I’m convinced. He used to pick fights on twitter repeatedly. Admitted once that he missed his flight because he was on twitter…arguing with a fan. AND ONE DAY, he decided to just—snap. Went on this hours long tirade against the Klaroline fandom, essentially calling everyone stupid because no one was appreciating the ‘art’ of the show. So when I say it lasted hours, I mean that. Now, you’d think, that he would be done, right? WELL, apparently that wasn’t enough, so the next day, he continued. I remember because I was in this gc on whatsapp, and I remember Erika sending a message to the gc going “omg, Narducci vs KCers round 2″ when I tell you I screamed. The man went on a two-day rampage against this fandom and it was insane. 

S6/S2 of TVD/TO was not a fun time. I can genuinely say it was borderline a chore to come on here during that time. It wasn’t fun, every day someone was in argument with someone from production on twitter. Truly the worst year of the fandom, imo. So S7/S3 rolls around and that’s where shit went nuclear. 

Hillary and I, are minding our own damn business, when someone come’s to us with information regarding the new seasons. This was post-SDCC, so it’s like the lull of September, waiting for the seasons to start in October. And we get approached with information, talkin bout how Caroline’s gonna be pregnant with Alaric’s twins in S7. When I tell you we didn’t know wtf to do. And we had to like wait on confirmation about it but then we found out it was legit and we were pissed. Literally ask us if we wanted to be in the spoiler game, the answer is no tf we did not. And she and I basically spent two days complaining. LIKE UGHHHH WE DON’T WANNA DO THIS, BUT ALSO THIS IS DISGUSTING, WE CAN’T JUST LET THEM SPRING THIS ON EVERYONE, BUT AGHH WHY US. So we chose collectively, as a duo, because das my other half yo, to blab. 

That went over as best as anyone could hope for it to go. Now, flashforward yet again, this time to around late Novemeber/December. I had been sent word that something was going down. TVD/TO lost their Thursday slots and got bumped to Friday’s, so a plan was going on, and they made one. We’d heard that they were rearranging something mid-season because they were gonna make a crossover work, publicly we found out it would be Paul and JoMo that crossover back-to-back. THEN ONE NIGHT—I call it black friday bc  that day was a fucking mess—, a friend of mine was friends with an SCer, I wanna say, and she was hearing word that the crossover did have Klaus and Caroline interact via phone call, but that it was very definitively an ending. Because they spoke about Camille and Stefan, etc, etc. Like a closing of the book type thing. So okay, we were like devastated, everyone on twitter was losing their shit. Everyone was pissed, and @-ing the writers all these crazy, sad things, we were a wreck. Ask Hillary about this night because she, I remember, describes it as ‘logging on and reading what everyone else had and not understanding why tf everyone was mad about it’. It was the first and last time that our roles were reversed, and bless her for it. 

SO WE’RE SITTING THERE, it’s Saturday, and we kept getting more information and we were like…something isn’t right here. So we did a bit of digging, spoke to a few people and waited it out. LO AND BEHOLD, everything we’d heard about the phone call was false. There was a phone call but the CKers and SCers were so mad about what was actually said in it, that a few of em, ring leaders of the feeble minded, made up a version and passed it around their fandoms as legit till it eventually worked it’s way over to us. So we all jumped the gun on fake information, lmfskdnknsks. Rumor has it, you can still hear Hillary yelling ‘I told you so’ at me through our group chat. 

So all was well, I couldn’t tell everyone why not to panic, just that they didn’t need to. Until, this account popped up called tvdspoiler or something on twitter, also saying false information about the phone call. Sending everyone into a panic yet again. I remember this because I was at  kmart with my mom, and the kmart by my house was in a basement so I had no cell service. I was able to send like a couple of messages, and was basically like ‘tell everyone to chill, I’ll clear it up when I get home’ did that in like a couple of hours cause then I had to leave to the midnight showing of the force awakens with my friends. So that day was chaotic, but fun. It was the first time I reached 99+ messages on my inbox, lmao. 

So that all happened like a good while before we actually saw the episode. But cut to a few weeks later. I woke up at 1 AM my time to drink water, was on tumblr trying to go back to sleep. I checked my inbox and there was this bizarre message talking about ‘got some scoop’ and they were like ‘Finn dies in 3x17, Aurora gets put into some weird sleeping spell in 3x18, Camille and Davina die in 3x19, Lucien dies in 3x20′ and I quite literally laughed??? Literally who wouldn’t. Like who tf would ever believe TO had the balls to do all of that when they never killed anyone off. AND, WHO WOULD BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE WOULD JUST STOP BY, SHARE IT AND LEAVE. So I sent a screenshot to Hillary and was like ‘yo did you get this because wtf’. We often got duplicate messages. And we often got messages of people who were pissed about the two previous times we, from the klaroline fandom of all places, had legit info that wound up being true, that they were just waiting for us to fuck up. So we used to get messages of people pretending they were sharing info, and it was just antis trying to make us look stupid. 

SO, Hillary says ‘just answer it because it’s obviously fake’ top ten moments before disaster. I answer it and am like oh haha, and where did that info come from. And they came back like a minute later, saying ‘I have a source’ THEN THEY ELABORATED. They mentioned that Lucien drags Freya and Vincent to Mystic Falls to do this spell with some bullet and etc. So at that point we were like fUCK because that same day we’d found out was in 3x16, which ended with Lucien and this white-oak bullet, having kidnapped Freya. And that’s when we knew, that someone showed up in the middle of the night, spoiled the whole back-half of TO S3—and then left.

The back-half of S3 was so fun??? Every week the info just kept coming true. On the wikia everyone hated me, probably the most anti messages I ever had was during that time, honestly it was great, 10/10 would recommend. 

THEN, at some point in our blog history, Hillary had been getting quite a few messages about PT. And she had this fucking line in one of the messages about Phoebe’s pronunciation with her accent for the show, or lack thereof. And she said “weeches and woves will always have a place in my heart” SO THEM PHOEBE TWEETED IT. THAT EXACT LINE, and we were like was she...? So we shrugged off okay. A few days later, she tweeted “hellsbellschime enough, there’s plenty of other things to watch on tv, I hear mad men’s great.” And I—

THIS WAS ON SOME RANDOM ASS SUNDAY. Like I was lounging around, waiting for the new episode of game of thrones and then WHAM, chaos. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, Leah joined in too. Putting a target on my friends back...about her blog that no one was making them read. You can’t make that shit up. And Jenn actually replied to Phoebe’s tweet and got a reply back, and she was all “you’re right, I’m sorry” and then deleted the original tweet, which I still have a screenshot of btw. And then Leah showed up in Hillary’s inbox with this ridiculous three part ask about how she shouldn’t criticize women in the acting industry because of how hard it is for women in that industry which is true, but it doesn’t make you exempt from criticism??? So not sure where she meant to go with that one.

SO THERE WE HAVE IT, our fandom’s greatest hits. I’m sure I can elaborate and insert more, but I’ve been typing for a good 40 minutes. 

Told ya, I wrote a whole dissertation, lmaooo.

[lilxmcrtes]

My URL, The URL Meme

Send Me A URL and I’ll Respond With My Opinions... | @thornstocutyouwith | Mun

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why

Gosh dang it. You’re really gonna make me pick? Alright... for now I’m gonna go with Lief because he’s a Good Boy (tm). So sweet and caring to Oliver. Their relationship is so nice when Lief isn’t bringing / cooking wild animals in his home x’D Also I just enjoy his view on things. So simple, and amusing at times

My favorite interaction/thread of theirs

Again. Pick?! Hm... That food fight in the IMs was pretty funny x3 Aeron and Jace making play bites their Thing (tm) was also good. Or that thing with them as kids playing with dino toys together. It wasn’t a thread but it was so freaking cute

My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s)

CONTENT. ALL THE C O N T E N T!!!!!

Anyone that gets to see such content should feel blessed. You have SO MANY muses and they’re all so unique and real. Also seriously love how they connect in this relationship web that I’ve only seen part of

My thoughts on their writing style as a whole

Good shit bro. Sometimes a little overwhelming but good

Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in

ALL OF THEM??!?! But to be more specific, H.unger G.ames or T.he G.ood P.lace plot would be cool. Ooo A.merican H.orror S.tory? C.oven or A.pocolypse? Omg humor me with a C.ells At W.ork AU. ( Eira and Tancred can be the white and red blood cell!!! ) Or another anime, P.arasyte? U.mbrella A.cademy?! D.etective P.ikachu / P.okemon?!?! All the plots Thorn.

Someone else I love seeing them interact with

I honestly don’t read a lot of threads n stuff outside of what I’m doing. Sometimes things will catch my eye but otherwise... heh... I do be seein u with ofwondersandhares a lot tho. So there’s that?

Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying

I really don’t get why people don’t write with you more. There’s a lot of opportunity right there for people. :/

And did I mention content?! You know so much about your muses. I aspire to be that in tune with these guys one day

If We Know Each Other

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities

Honesty. I mean sometimes it can be pretty blunt but I don’t really have to be guessing what you might not be saying. I figure if you have a problem with me you’ll tell me. Which is kinda relieving to me. Helps when I overthink.

Also ridiculously imaginative. I mean do I really need to elaborate on this one?

What I Think Are Their Strengths

Besides the answer to the above question, you don’t take things to heart too much, which I admire since I do that all the time. It’s great you can brush things off and move on to other good things without getting too caught up in being upset

A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours

First game night. Absolutely one of the best nights I’ve ever had. Hilarious. Can’t wait to do it again. The fact that we named the killer Asher was AMAZING

Why Others Should RP With Them

Hello if it’s not clear from what I’ve been saying then idk how to help you. The sheer vastness of content for all the rp you could ever want is right there man. So much opportunity! All the little details and plots too!! Bonus, you get a friend that will give you head pats- no, wait. those are mine. But still, good fren! *pats their head* A lot of friENDSHIP can fit in here

How Others Should Approach Them

You could toss them some memes. Pretty sure they crave them lol ( Not like they don’t post about it ). And as a multi I am well aware of the specifying muse deal but I don’t think they mind so much that they won’t answer. You’ll just get whatever they roll lol BUT definitely specify muse if you can bc like I said, as a multi, it’s just better that way especially with the number of muses they have. OR you could do the big brain move and IM them “Hey I wanna write with you but I have no idea where to start with your muses. Do you have a preference?” and you guys can talk about who would mesh well together and then you can send memes or write a starter or even get a starter! Pretty sure it’s the same for anyone.

Funny note on that one tho. I think they approached me ooc by just sending my a post in IMs. I don’t even remember what it was or why they sent it. I was wildly confused but ya know. Gotta start somewhere lol Point is, you’ll be fine approaching them however you do. Just don’t ghost.

Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them

You could write with the Teares’ siblings ( in the verse where they are related at least. Haven’t talked about if that’ll be a main thing or not ), baby sis @the-wonderland-jinx and Aeron’s twin @faultycode. The other muses on there are also great.

@klavz​ is a great Klaus imo. The dialogue is so on point. Like I could actually hear Klaus saying those things. Whether you feel the same is up to you but... definitely give ‘em a chance.

There are others but it’s more of a general ‘I like them’ rather than having specific reasons you’d mesh well with / be interested in them.

Anything else I want to say about them

I think I’ve said quite a lot already lol Anything more is pretty much a repeat

I like writing with them. I like talking to them. I think they’re pretty cool and I think other people ought to check them out. A summary by me

If We Have/Plan To Interact Together

A plot I’d like to write with them

Ooo. Um. I know a lot of plots probably got lost bc I’ll come up with an idea and then get distracted with something else. But if I remember any of those definitely lol Also now that I’m on a fresh new blog I will heckin put that shit in a post so I don’t lose it.

That thing where Aeron drops into Wonderland and runs into Soulless!Asher is still in my drafts if you still want that to be a thing. So not all things were lost! lol

But getting back to the question, outside of those sort of things, and being more specific than just everything... T.he G.ood P.lace plot seems good. Pretending these people got into ‘heaven’ when they’re actually in a special hell that tortures them psychologically by picking a set of people that would eternally torture each other bc their personalities and behaviors clash perfectly. Asher ( or all your deadly sin demons really ) would definitely get a kick out of that I bet. Especially on Aeron. Ooo and Oliver.

A muse I want to introduce to them

Max. He’s a muse that’s gonna be on my other multi. He’s a soft boi like Oliver but not as fragile. Very friendly, and actually not human! He’s a changeling that ended up being raised human. Still working on him but I feel like he is basically the peak of my creativity lmao

A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them

I mean I know we mentioned it but Post!Oliver and Tancred would be cool. And I say Post! bc I’m pretty sure Tancred would stay the heck away from him otherwise lol

Also! Lorelei should meet Killian sometime. I’ve never really figured out her and Oliver’s relationship soo... It’s bound to be interesting whatever I do on the fly lol

A thread with them I’m excited about

Every time I see you in my notifications I get excited. But I suppose I am pretty excited for that band ask to turn into a thread 👀

Anything else I want to say

At this point, you might as well follow them if you follow me. Spice up your dash with whatever they’re into for the moment. Find new interests. Learn how to develop your muse

Please read that with the same energy as ‘fuck around and find out’

[vandergeld]

                  hey  everyone welcome BACK to my blog  ,  hi  , how  are  ya ?   i’m   RUZZY   (  or  ru  ,  rudy  idk  if thats too  much  lmAO  )  &  i  have  not  been  apart  of  a  group  in  84  years ............  that  graphic  is  so  extra  but  i  was  bored  &  first  impressions  are  everything  ,  ANYWHO  this  is  my  mans WARNER  played  by  my  mans  GRAYSON DOLAN  ,  who  lacks  f’n  resources  so  i  gotta  work  some  magic  w/  all  these  gifs  on  tumblr  lmao  so  any  gif  icons  are  noT  mine  for  the  most  part  they’ll  be  taken  from  gifs  alr  created  (  s/o  2  the  fly  hunnies  that  made  ‘em  )  anyway  ya’ll  don’t  really  care  abt  me  lmao  soooooo here’s warner ! PLS  feel  free  to  hmu ANYTIME  for  the  plots  &  things  of  that  nature  u  could  lit  never  bother  me  idc ,  my  discord  is  𝐫𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐳𝐢#1643 if  u  everrr need  to  get  ahold  of  me  when  im  not  on  tumblr  !

         𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍, cismale, he/his. → look out, there’s 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃. you know, the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘  year old 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 of 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐔. you know, i overheard someone say that they were 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 , 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆  and 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃. but that’s just rumours. fresh new pairs of air jordan 1's, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and lost weekends come to mind when i think of them. what about you? [ ruzzy, he/him, 18, est ]

TW : CANCER MENTION  ,  SMOKING  MENTION  .

//   »    GENERAL      :

FULL NAME   :   warner     evangelino   alexander       vandergeld       (   inspired by the antagonists of white chicks lmaooo   )     .

HOMETOWN  : new  york  city  ,  new york  .

NICKNAMES   :   dumbass   .

AGE   :   twenty  .

BIRTHDAY   :   october twenty-first   .

ZODIAC   :   libra   .

GENDER   :   male   .

PRONOUNS   :   he      &      him   .

NATIONALITY   :   american   .

ETHNICITY   :   german  ,   italian  ,  irish   .

LABEL(S)   :   the   golden boy   ,   the   lothario   ,   the   jock   .

TROPE(S)  :  chick magnet  ,  hormone-addled teenager  ,  unwitting pawn  , upper class twit  ,

OCCUPATION   :  college student  &  collegiate football player  & full time frat bro  .

FRAT : beta lambada mu  .

MAJOR   :   environmental science  .

POS  : charming  ,  charismatic  ,  brave  ,  athetic ,  dedicated  ,   eco-friendly  ,  high-moral compass  ,  book smart  ,  kind  ,  energetic  ,  optimistic  , loyal (  most of the time  ) ,  respectful  ,   well-rounded  ,  level-headed  , ambitious  ,  debonair  ,  life of the paty  .

NEG   :  compulsive  ,  easily-influenced  ,  dimwitted  , hypersexualized  ,  problematic  ,  addictive  , rebellious  ,  bemused  ,  defensive  ,  clingy  ,  hopeless-romatic  ,  overly-competitive  ,  envious .

INSP  : nate archibald  (  gossip girl  )  

//   »    PAST      :

          warner   was  born  &  raised  in  the  city  that  never sleeps  and    is  the  product  of  evangeline   moretti-vandergeld  , an   intelligent   american-italian  socialite  turned   environmental   politician  ,   and  captain  william   vandergeld  ,  a  former   navy   captain  ,   and  now   a   shareholder   in   some   boring   fortune   500   company   that   allowed   his   wife   and   son   to   live   an   affluent  ,   and   privileged   life  . his   mother  however  ,   was   the   real deal  ,   often   using   their   sum   of   wealth   to   donate   to   multiple   charities  ,  organizations  , etc, she was  dedicated  to  keeping  new  york  city  (  and  all  who  lived there  )  clean  and  safe   , and  she instilled  those  same  values  onto  her  son.

          some people are born lucky  ,  and others  ,  lucky  to  be  born  .   warner  was  the  first  option  .  his childhood  was  nothing  short  of  happiness  ,  and  happiest  days  were  with  his  mother  ,  for  as  long  as he  could  remember  ,  any happy  moment  in  his childhood  was  faded  right  into  her.

          things  took  a  drastic  change  his freshman  year  of  (  private  obvy lmao  )  high-school   .   warner’s  mother  was  diagnosed  with  breast  cancer  ,  and  little  to  his  knowledge  ,  it wasn’t  looking  pretty  from  the  start  .  she was  frequently  in  and  out  of the hospital  for  a  few  months  at  a  time  and  it  was  not  looking  good  on  any  fronts  .  one  day  when  she  went  to  the  hospital  it seemed  like  she  never  left  ,  maybe  she  didn’t  ,  those  days  were  a blur  for  warner  to  be  honest  .  watching  his  mother  lose  life  , every  single  day  was  not  a task  he  was  up  for  .

          by  then  it  was  just  warner  and  his  father  ,  they  were  all  they  had  in  the big  city  . (  when  he  wasn’t  always  away  on business  )  warner  grew  up  in   that  big  luxy  town  house  all  by  himself  ,  with  the  company  of  loyal  maids  ,  chefs  ,   and  nannies  of course  .  but  in  high  school  , the  more  he  really submerged  himself  into  it  ,  it  was  a  crazy  world  &  he  loved  it  .  whilst  getting  demands  from  his  father  in  tokyo  to  attend  those  boring  sailing  classes  ,  warner  instead  headed  out  to  their  beach  house  in  the  hamptons  for  an  early  20  rager  .

       warner  undoubtedly knew  the  power  he  possessed  ,   big  man  on  campus  type  &  it felt  good  , until  about towards  the  end  of his  junior  year  he  was  honestly  all   partied   out  ,  but  of  course reputation  is   everything  ,  in  order  to  keep  up  thats  when  he  picked  up  the   real  ugly  habits  ,  that  were  of  course  fun  .  smoking  numerous  amounts  of  marijuana  ,  various  girls  in  -  and  -  out  every other  day  was  a  feeling  like  no  other  ,   he  knew  it  was  wrong  ,  he  knew  his  mom  would  be  ashamed  ,  him  doing  all these  things  and  not carrying  on  her  legacy  in  some  way .  but  he  couldn’t  help  himself  in a  all  honesty   ,   and   no  doubt  some  of  that  transitioned  over  in  college .

//   »    AES   :

          lost weekends partying  ,  chicken  wings  &  french  fries  ,  air  jordan  1′s  ,  gucci  guilty  cologne  ,  friday  night  lights  ,  clouds  of  smoke  &  red  eyes  ,  diamond  encrusted  jewelry  glistening  under  bright  lights  in  a  dark  room  ,  nike  sweatsuits  ,  game  winning  moves  ,  new  york  city  at  night  ,  hamptons  in  the  summer  ,  spring  break  in  miami  ,  impulsive decisions  .

//   »    TL;DR   :

(  and  some  stuff  i  probably  missed  oops  )  warner  is  a  conflicted  mama’s   boy  who  knows  half  the  shit  he does  is  wrong  but  can’t  stop  .  after  his  mothers passing  he had  an absent father  who seemed  to  always  be  away  on  business  ,  only  in  town  for  a  month  or  two  ,  missing  his sons’ multiple  feats   to  keep  himself  distracted  from  the  fact  that  his  wife  was  no  longer  with  them. created  immense daddy  issues  for  warner  ,  especially  since  he  was  a  standout  football  star  &  2x   stage  champ in  high  school  ,  and is  currently  playing  collegiality  for  the  irish ,  with  dreams  of  making  it  in  the  nfl  cause  screw  his  dad  he  don’t  wanna  go   2  the  navy   ,   or  work  for  dat  company # not  gonna  happen .  warner  took  great  advantage  of  wealth  &  his  fathers  absence  ,  but  he’s  lowkey  partied  out  in  college  ,  or  so  he likes  to  say  but  he fakes  it ‘till  he  makes  it bc  he  doesn’t  his  brothers  to think  he’s  lame . HE’S  LIVING  FOR  EVERYBODY  BUT  HIM  BASICALLY .

//   »    HEADCANONS    :

warner  is  on  a  football  scholarship  majoring  in  environmental  science  bc  although  he  most  likely  won’t  do  shit  w/  da  degree its  for  mommy  .

he can EASILY  be  manipulated  or  taken  advantage  of  ,  he’s  book  smart  but lowkey  dumber  than  a  fucking  box  of  rocks 

immastonerbyyoungthug.mp3  .  occasionally ,  but  ,  more  so  than  that  ?  he  always  manages  to  flush  out  his  system  in  time  if  needed  be  ,  but  he  loves  2  roll  up  #  stress relief 

a  BEAST  on  that  field  (  student  athlete  meme  here  )

has  all  the  canon  gray  tattoos  bc  fuck  what  dad  thinks  .  he  wears  a solid  16 inch gold  chain  ,  and  another  of  the same  length with  his  moms’  name  on  it  , never  fucking  takes  it  off  ,  showers  with  it  cause  he  can  .

ok  ........  he  rich  ,  but  like  not  i  can  do  whatever  i  want  rich  ???  he  may  not  ever  have  to  work  a  day  in  his   life  ,  but  he  don’t  got  the pull  u  think  he  does  w/  his  dumb  ass  u  probably  couldn’t  even  tell  he’s  got  money  with  his  minimalist  fashion  sense  .

he  has  a  higher  moral  compass  than  most  of  his  frat  bros  ,  but  the  stupid  shit  he does  ,  u most  likely  won’t  even  be  able  to tell  ,  he’s  definitely  a  serial  romeo  and  a  heartbreaker  ,  one  compliment  ?  he’s  ready  to  drop  his  pants  &  fall  in  love  w/   u  .

HE DUMB  ,  but  like  he  can  talk  his  way  into  &  out  of  anything  ,  most  of  the  time  ,  batting  those  big  brown  eyes  &  a  million  dollar  smile  has  saved  his  ass  on  multiple  occasions  .

//   »    WANTED CONNECTIONS   :

EX-GIRLFRIEND :  i’m  thinking  his  first  &  only  “  serious  “  relationship  while  in  college  .  were  going  pretty  steady  until  he  cheated  on  her  (  hmm wc  on  who  he  cheated  on  her w/ ??  ) ,  she  never  found  out  but  that  guilt  ate warner TF UP  so  he  cut  things  off  with  her  via  text  message  and blocked  her  number  ,  ignores  her  any  chance  he  gets  ‘till  this  day  ,  cause  he  doesn’t  have  any  balls  and  cannot  face  his  fears  .

FRAT BROS  : lowkey  what  i’m  MOST  excited  for  asdfgh  like  whoever  is  in  beta  lambada mu  hit  me  the  fuck UP so  we  can  discuss  dynamics  ,  roomates  ,  allat  .

FOOTBALL TEAM  : same  for  above  ,  he’s  lowkey  cocky  &  got  sly  comments  when  he’s  on  the  field  ,  he constantly  humbles  himself  but  can’t  helps  it  ,  he is  hot  shit  and  he  knows  it  , how does  his  team  feel  ab  that  ??  w/  his  defensive  ass  !

GOOD-LUCK CHARM  :  prolly  a  girl  (  bonus  points  if  a  cheerleader  ???  im  not  picky  tho  i promise  if  ur  muse  don’t  shake  poms  idc  )  it  happened  out  the  blue  ,  they  screamed  his  name  while  the  team  was  walking  out  for  a  game  ,  and  she  called  that  he’d  get  3  td’s  and  thats  exactly  what  he  did  now  they  joke  ab  it  and  shit  (  maybe  a  goodluck  kiss b4  games  bc  its  warner lolol  ) idk  i  came  up  wit  it  on the  spot but  i love  it.

//   »    MISC   :

i’m a dumbass  &  this  got  way  longer  than  i  expected  but  if  u  made  it   all  the  way  thru  ily . 

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[kaptain-k-pop]

The K-list: Day 8

(THAT’S RIGHT! IT’S BACK BITCHES!!! more info abt the future of The K-list(™) at the end but first let’s talk abt that SONG amirite??*)

What U do?

EXO

I don’t know everything about the human experience or methods of dealing with mental health that have been clinically proven to be effective

But I do know that going on a drive with your long suffering best friend from high school and playing this song and emotionally serenading her and dramatically turning to her on every “이렇게” and “사랑해~💗” and throwing out fingerhearts at her is good for the human soul

Depression??

Idek her 👀

(at least for like. a little bit)

This song is just really fun and cute. It makes me very happy :) I love love 💗💗💗 I’m very soft tbh. So yeah, this track is perfect to add to any list of serotonin boosting bops (it’s definitely on mine)

(Also shout out to @uwujpgs for putting this in a playlist of song recommendations that she made for me last month before I even decided to seek out any EXO b-sides

Ily Bex! U have impeccable taste 😘💗)

*(Okay this part is just me babbling abt “the future of The K-list” so if you don’t care about that you can go now 😂: 

you may recall that the original K-list with it’s “Kjersten posts a different song reccomendation every day in June” concept was kinda a huge freakin flop….. 👀

But I have decided to revive it with a new concept called “Kjersten just occasionally makes posts about songs that she really likes and wants to gush about because she enjoys music and has a compulsive need to share her thoughts wants to share that enthusiasm. And she just updates the K-list whenever she has time/feels like it and she doesn’t freak out if she misses a day (or a few days) because time is not real and any sort of self imposed deadline in relation to this project is made up and not that important actually” I hope you all enjoy this new concept 👍

Also the focus is shifting a little bit. Technically this started as a list of my recommendations (and it is still about that to a degree) but now the focus is just gonna be me gushing about songs I like. I mean I will still talk about songs I really like that I feel are less well known and need to be recommended. But sometimes there might be a very popular song that everyone already knows about so it doesn’t need to be recommended but I’ll still gush about it bc this is my blog and I wanna. So it still does serve as a recommendation kinda bc it’s like “here’s a song I like, if you know it too that’s awesome, if not then I’m recommending it obviously!” But yeah now the recommendation is secondary. The purpose is ‘i like this song so I’m gonna gush abt it’ instead of 'here’s a song I’m recommending because I think it needs recommending’ ya know? There is a difference. The difference honestly doesn’t really matter though. I told you I was babbling akdkdjajs. Anyway if you put up with this rambling thanks I’m so sorry 💗)

[tobns]

gather round fellow crackheads, it is time for me to break down sign by none other than the captain of our ship and expose how not-subtle he was

friendly disclaimer: jeremy hasn’t shared the official lyrics for this song jeremy renner sir i know you’re stalking my blog so like get on that thank you! so anything wrong is on me, i’m going by ear

ALRIGHT LADIES so, we all know that after engagement number #3 jeremy renner said he gave no single fucks anymore and that he was gonna call this bitch OUT and while i knew this was coming all the way back in the days of 2014, i was not. expecting. this. shit. i need to preface by saying i did not think this song was about scarlett until we got to the chorus and after that, i had to comb through every lyric and realized that even if you don’t hear “oh scar” it is about her, welcome to the hell in which i break it down for ya. i’m gonna try to stay as clear to what i personally think is the most unbiased version of the rennerson timeline as i can, so if you have any contributions you would like to make as well, SEND ‘EM TO ME we are officially in crackhead hour! as the vine once said THIS IS ALL MY OPINIONNNNN! it’s all jeremy’s fault so he can’t say shit to us! alright, buckle up!

i went down to the river and lost my mind i said lord won't you save me just one last time thought i told ya i was looking for a sign

alright, well, first of all, we KNEW you lost your mind. got that much, good sir. so in my unbiased timeline scarlett and jeremy have hooked up at least one time. we all know that they’ve had a super flirty friendship for YEARS now and during the our town play just about anybody who was in the room and has reported back to the internet said that their nonverbals were off the charts and that there was obviously some kinda something that either was/had gone on in the past with the two of them (duh). 

to me, this verse talks about a situation where jeremy and scarlett are together and how whenever he’s around her, he just kinda loses his mind? there’s reference to them hooking up in their whole weird “no strings attached we’ll still be just friends after we kiss or have sex or whatever and we won’t get into a relationship!” agreement thing even though that’s not what jeremy really and truly wants from her. he wants a sign that she wants him for real for real and he’s gonna ignore everything saying that issa bad idea to Go There and just shoot his shot, hoping that the lord or something will save him from himself and all his rather poor impulsive decisions & something different will come of it (spoiler alert: it doesn’t) 

had it once wonder if i would get it twice peace of mind only comes in the afterlife thought i told ya i was looking for a sign 

...i mean, how fucking obvious? is this? he had her once. wondered if he would get her twice. the peace of mind in thinking about that and everything that they could be will occur only when he is dead. he said it all, not me

i need something to believe in throw my hands up to the ceiling oh sky, won't you give me a sign tell me will the world one day ever be mine will it ever be mine will it ever be mine tell me will the world one day ever be mine

*cracks knuckles* this CHORUS IS LOUD, YALL. let’s start with the first two lines, “i need something to believe in / throw my hands up to the ceiling” i think the first part about needing something to believe in is generally straightforward?? after everything that he’s gone through, UNDERSTANDABLE! he needs something that he knows will be there long-term and that’s not gonna let him down since everything else kinda has????? that’s what i get, anyways??? he just wants something that’s real??? and then if you are throwing your hands up to the ceiling you are essentially saying “i give up” so i think this is him saying that he’s giving up on trying to influence the situation himself and is taking on the whole “what will be will be” stance, trying to put it in the universe’s hands because clearly he ain’t getting anywhere doing what he’s doing 

and then we get to the very end of the chorus with the line “oh sky won’t you give me a sign, tell me will the world one day ever be mine?” which threw my ass for a LOOP when i first heard it. maybe i’m a delusional fangirl but i absolutely heard “oh scar” the first time??? no matter if you read it as oh scar or oh sky, he’s asking for the same thing regardless: he wants to know if the world will ever be his. i don’t think this is necessarily in the fame money power glory sense because? that’s never truly been jeremy — my mind always relates back to this interview where they talk about how jeremy would have loved to have had more kids and how there’s a moment where he thought he and raincoat and ava would have been a real family forever and sksksk that part of the interview always breaks my heart but i digress! to him, the world is having stability in his personal life (he’s got stability in his career okay he’s an a-list actor with music and home renovation and he’s got it made. that’s not what this is about). he wants to settle down and raise ava full time, that’s been his mission since the day that child was born. he wanted to have more kids. he wanted to have a WIFE (“I’ve done so many amazing, cool-ass things in my life — but I think as we get older, there’s more value in doing something with somebody.”) AND A FAMILY. to him, i think having the world was having all the things he’d dreamed of and he was still missing that one part of it which was someone (scarlett) to raise a family and grow old with and he is asking if it’ll one day ever be his because he’s gotten close before and it fell through and sksksks okay i gtg

i was down on my knees i was living a lie i was king of the rubble just wasting time thought i told ya i was looking for a sign

okay, this is where i need yall to just like, hang in there and stick with me while i iron out my thoughts because this is where things get a lil more muddled depending on which way you wanna look at it

one way you can interpret this verse is that it’s about the s*nni situation. “down on his knees and living a lie” having ava obviously put him in an entirely new position where he was essentially at this woman’s mercy since she had his fucking kid and could VERY EASILY WALK OUT WITH HER (never forget her threatening to leave to canada with ava where he would have no say!) hence being down on his knees and then living a lie, the lie being him and s*nni’s marriage actually being happy or whatevs and him trying to own the mess it made in his life (don’t tell me s*nni didn’t complicate things for him) and making a throne on it, hence him being king of the rubble and him wasting his time in that marriage is just kinda straightforward — he thought he told y’all he was looking for a sign OUT!!! *cough scarlett is the out*

another way you can interpret this is still through the scarlett lens! “down on his knees and living a lie” she has him whipped, i think we all know and recognize this, so that’s where we get him on his knees, and then living the lie that something’s gonna change with her, that she’ll wake up one day and walk away from her other relationships or that she loves him back in the same way that he loves her (sidenote: ouch) and again, he’s sitting in the rubble of EITHER a) his own pile of failed relationships or b) where the two of them crossing the line destroyed him ever being able to just see her as a friend and he’s wasting his time waiting on her to come around and he’s like “bitch i thought i told you i was looking for some kinda sign outta you and that you wanted me”

sick and tired of running circles for miles and miles being lost ain’t ever really been my style thought i told ya i was looking for a sign

i think this is pretty straightforward no matter what stance you take for the first half of the verse: jeremy lee renner doesn’t play games, he doesn’t like getting the run around and going in circles that lead him nowhere. he doesn’t do being lost. even when he doesn’t quite know what direction he’s heading he’s got some kinda plan, something to keep working towards (bc that’s him) and being lost isn’t his style!! no matter if you read it about s*nni giving him hell and he’s looking for scarlett to give him the out or scarlett just giving him the run-around now that she’s 2x divorced and finally single sksksks, they’re both doing laps in his head and causing him to lose sight of what he really wants (bc he’s either rolling over on his back for s*nni since she’s got his kid and he won’t jeopardize it regardless of what he really wants outta the love department aka scarlett OR he’s rolling over on his back for scarlett deluding himself into thinking he can live with her jerking him around because he would do anything for that woman and to stay in her life)

he thought he said HE WAS LOOKING FOR A SIGN aka some kinda sign that will help him find his fucking way out of whatever disaster and into the life where he gets the world in his hands not on his fucking back

i didn't want to have to sell my soul so i took the hard road please won't you show me a sign

THIS BRIDGE WAS?????? WHEW??????? “i didn’t want to have to sell my soul” i think he (and we) all know that he would just about do anything scarlett asked of him, even if it’s something that’s not really him? he’s that whipped? and i think this is him saying that he didn’t want to compromise who he is just for something that he wanted, when he knows full well there’s a chance it’s not going to be a fair trade and he won’t get all of what he wants from her — that she’d walk away or they’d really ruin their friendship or smth they can’t bounce back from??? so he takes the hard road and he takes the step back & says “what will be will be”, he puts the ball in HER COURT because if it’s coming from her then that’s how he knows it’s for real for real. IT’S WHY HE SAYS PLEASE JUST SHOW ME A SIGN bc scarlett sis if you give him a sign then he’ll hit the pedal heavy metal but until then he’s content to take the back seat and love you like a friend???

in conclusion: jeremy renner ain’t subtle, this song is about wanting scarlett johansson (but not having her because she’s a dumbass who literally finds all her boyfriends on the shelves at the food lion) and i really and truly don’t know who he thought he was fooling with all of this, thinking that the subliminal would remain subliminal, that man couldn’t do something discreetly if his LIFE DEPENDED ON IT mister “she makes me want to be more of a man” renner

if you read all of this i am so absolutely sorry but i’d love to hear your thoughts on it as well and how you interpret the song (or any of his new songs tbfh) ok thanks for coming to this wildly pointless tedtalk

[eddiemunsonspantschain]

Tattoos fer days

This is my tattoo post! I decided to put it on here instead of my main blog lol. I wanted to show off my ink as it is the only beautiful thing on me. Also I love all of my ink so I wanted to show it off. I’ll be putting this in order of when I got them along with some background.

First up,my Fleur De Lis on my right forearm. I chose this as my first tattoo because it means a lot to me. The Fleur De Lis is seen a lot in New Orleans which is like my home away from home. I’m from New York but have been going to NOLA for years and years now. I love it there so much and wanna go back since it’s been awhile. When I was going through a long period of depression I just wanted to be there. The Latin around the bottom of the Fleur De Lis is ‘Veni Vidi Vici’ which is ‘I came. I saw. I conquer.’ a very famous and popular saying. I chose it bc I feel like I conquered my depression and anxiety. I did it on my own and never did therapy or anything like that. It didn’t work for me,personally,but I urge you to get the help you need that works for you.

My second tattoo is a sad one. It’s on my other forearm. I designed it myself. My godsister passed at 8 years old back in 2016 and I got this shortly after in memory of her. The ladybug is bc her nursery was lady bug themed and I spent a lot of time with her after she was born. The letters are her initials of course.

My third tattoo is my anchor on my finger! If you know WWE and you know Paige,ya know she had an anchor on her finger before she covered it. I loved her’s so much that I wanted it too. I also love her too so duel purpose! This was just touched up for a third time because finger tattoos tend to fade the fastest bc of the motion of your fingers.

My fourth tattoo is a crossbow under my left collarbone. I got it bc I love Daryl Dixon a little too much and crossbows are badass. If a video game has a crossbow,I will use it. 

My fifth tattoo is my biggest tattoo. It’s one I wanted for so long. It’s right on my right arm and took 3 hours to do. It is the book from Hocus Pocus with this badass moon and stars. Hocus Pocus is my favorite movie of all time. I have been watching it since I was a little girl and I still do to this day. Every year around Halloween time and pretty much anytime I wanna relax or need a little uplifting I watch this movie. My mom used to take us to Salem,MA and when we drove up there and back we always watched the movie and enjoyed Dunkin Doughnut munchkins that came in that plastic Halloween themed bucket thing. I also named my cat Binx even tho he isn’t a black cat and he means so much to me. So Hocus Pocus has a lot of meaning for me and I love it so much. 

My sixth and seventh tattoos happened at the same time. It’s the only tattoos I got at a different shop that my sister went to in Kansas. It is a lil ghost behind my left ear named Zak (Bagans heh) and behind my right ear I have 3 lil bats. Two of the bats have names rn. They’re Willow and Jeter,two previous cats of mine who passed in 2018. It just felt fitting naming the lil bats after them. Behind the ears probably had the worst pain when they got up more onto my skull. The skin is thinner and closer to the bone so ouchie but I love them.

My eighth tattoo I literally got yesterday. So it’s one day old lol. It’s also the first tattoo on my leg! It’s on my thigh a few inches below my hip. It’s a rose with a black widow spider coming down off of it. I always wanted a rose tattoo and I added the black widow bc I feel like it makes the rose more unique plus black widow spiders are beautiful. I want them nowhere near me ever but they’re beautiful. 

I have tons of other tattoos that I want. Mostly bigger ones which means more money but I love tattoos. The artistry is amazing and beautiful. I love all my ink. Some of it has meaning and some of it was just because I like it. Not every tattoo needs meaning. Have fun with your ink,take care of it,respect your artist and definitely do your research about shops bc sometimes some aren’t great. If anyone is curious about my experiences or have questions (I’m no expert but feel free to ask) I’d be happy to answer anything!

[thatgirlfromwindsor]

92 Tag!

I was tagged by @roleplayingexo, my lil love

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (20 ppl ur funny)

THE LAST: 

1. Drink: Iced water to go with my cookie bc I’m lactose :c 2. Phone call: I think my auntie. She wanted to talk to my dad or something. 3. Text message: My cousin :D I think I was asking her to steal a baby for me

4. Youtube Video (this was fked when I got to it so imma just do my own…): My girl Taylor Nicole Dean

5. Time you cried: Yesterday. I was talking to Mel about my hypothetical dead bird dying because it outlived me and got sad and didn’t understand why I was gone and I broke

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Boy I haven’t even dated someone once r u kidding me 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: :’) I’m a boyfriend virgin and a kiss virgin I feel personally attacked 8. Been cheated on: See above 9. Lost someone special: My puppy was run over by a car the other day. That effing sucked. 10. Been depressed: I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor and I don’t really have sad periods or anything. I don’t think I have serious depression but sometimes a girl just wants to d*e ya feel me lmao  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: *sigh* I’m a drunk virgin too. I have gotten tipsy before tho (my first time drinking and it was soju smh the inner koreaboo strikes again :////)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Pastel pink, mint green, coral pink/red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes! I started uni this fall, so I’ve met loads of new people :) 16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love. I did unbias Minseok though. All the merch is a lil awko taco now. (Still loaf him, but Jongdae owns my heart n soul now uwu) 17. Laughed until you cried: Today. I was reading a confessions post from my uni and o lor d 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah. It sucked 19. Met someone who changed you: @universitykpop when did we meet again lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: ?? Who knows all of y’all could be snakes and I’d be none the wiser 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: See above for further explanation 

GENERAL 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them. I have Mel on there and some distant family friends or something 23. Do you have any pets: I had Chocolate but I had to leave her behind in Vietnam when I came home (technically I only babysat her for a lil bit but she was my puppy and I cried when she died) 24. Do you want to change your name: Yes. My last name is stupid and in the wrong language. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I just had a small get together with friends. We chilled, played jenga, gossiped, the usual 26. What time did you wake up: Today’s a saturday so like probs something dumb like 11am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching animal videos 28. Name something you can’t do: Not cry during an argument I’m a lil pussy 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like 2 hours ago before she went to bed 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I got into working out so I wasn’t a fat out of shape slob

31. What are you listening right now: My songs of the moment are Babe by Hyuna, Forever by Exo, Kokobop by Exo, p much all of Exo’s discography. I slide in some Pierce the Veil and All Time Low too. They’re rad 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Most likely?  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My makeup is nearing the end of it’s run but 1) I spent a lotta time on this look and 2) I’m lazy to wash my face (I’ll post a pic if any of yall are interested) 34. Most visited Website: Loncapa :’))))))))) Fuck me up chem

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Nope! 36. Mark/s: Beauty marks/birthmarks by my eye, on my arm, on my back. They’re not moles though. They’re very much flat. I have some scars on my hands from stupid things like getting cut on coral and shit 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be an author. I thought I loved writing but I guess biomed was always my true calling 38. Hair colour: Black 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah and the bitch’s name is Kim Jongdae 41. What do you like about yourself: I think I have pretty lips. I like my eyes 42. Piercings: Just my ear lobes but I’ve always wanted a nose piercing or a double helix 43. Bloodtype: No idea but according to an old wives tale I’m an O type 44. Nickname: I like to go by Vivi on here, or Viv sometimes. Mel likes to call me Weimoney :’)))))))))) 45. Relationship status: Single af 46. Zodiac: Pisces 47. Pronouns: She/ Her 48. Favourite TV Show: Go Fighting! I used to be really into the Flash, I really like Orphan Black too 49. Tattoos: Nada 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: I don’t think so. My parents thought I was dead when I was born tho so who knows what the doctor did to me 52. Hair dyed in different colour: I’ve tried! My hair is a really really dark dark black colour. I’d have to bleach it and I don’t wanna fuck with that at home lmao  53. Sport: I like jogging sometimes. I’ve tried to pick up yoga 55. Vacation: I loved loved loved China. I visited Xiamen recently and I love it so much. I feel so at home. Also Grand Cayman. It’s beautiful there (my heart goes to all of those affected my the hurricanes. Stay strong!) 56. Pair of trainers: (does this mean sneakers or runners???? I don’t get your foreign slang Jess) I like my converse. They’re my babies. I have a pair of Free Runs tho. They look really good with skinny pants.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I ate a cookie bc I skipped dinner oops 58. Drinking: The same iced water 59. I’m about to: Do some chem hw 61. Waiting for: My next trip to NR to I can justify blowing all my $$$ on Exo notebooks 63. Get married: I would love to. It requires that I’m in a relationship first though… 64. Career: Med school is the dream. It’s a big dream and a big ambition, but I hope with hard work and perseverance I can make it a reality. I’m not sure what I want to specialize it, but I’ve always found reproductive endocrinology super interesting. 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: I love hugs. Hugs are the greatest. They make me feel warm and loved. No experience with kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes hold so much expression and history.

67. Shorter or taller: Both! Kyungsoo and a smol lil cutie patoot, and Channie is a tol giant full of love and cuddles. Both could take me any day

68. Older or younger: Older. I can’t imagine being with someone younger at this point in my life

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I just want my boothang to be happy and healthy. Channie bear pls don’t starve urself abs aren’t worth it bb :((((

71. Sensitive or loud: I don’t know what this means but if it means what I think it means than kinky sex

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m a massive piece of shit with social anxiety so you know what who fuckin knows at this point

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: SEE ABOVE ONCE AGAIN HOLY HSIT 75. Drank hard liquor: I’ve had soju so it’s like half vodka? I’ve tried a berry alcohol (it’s native to Vietnam and super hard to come by) that’s 40%. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my sunglasses on my face. I’m a failure 77. Turned someone down: Possibly? I’m terrible at reading signs. 78. Sex on the first date: I feel personally attacked at this point. No first dates ever :/ 79. Broken someone’s heart: That would mean that someone would be interested in me…  80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Nope. I’m a good girl 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Nada

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Meh. I guess so 85. Miracles: Yeah 86. Love at first sight: I believe in lust at first sight. I don’t believe that you can truly fall in love with someone before meeting them 87. Santa Claus: Nope 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not? A kiss is just a kiss 89. Angels: I like to think so, yeah

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: @universitykpop is it sad if I say you? 91. Eye colour: Brown 92. Favourite movie: Rush Hour. It’s a fave of mine. Brings me back to the good old days :’)))

Tagging: @universitykpop @penseuls I have no other friends oops. If you see this then I tag you too!!! And tag me in your responses. I love reading them. Haneul I dare you to do this all in your bullet journal (might as well get some content for your blog)

[michellerps]

rules: answer all the questions and tag 20 honestly tag as many other blogs as you want [ tagged at the end of the post ]

tagged by: @ncnipelekai who i love a lot tbh!!! thank u!

LAST:

1. DRINK: water 2. PHONE CALL: my grandma 3. TEXT MESSAGE: no phone so no texting 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: deadwater - wet 5. TIME YOU CRIED: uhhh a day ago?? maybe two? i also laughed rly hard earlier and my eyes teared up. 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nah 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: regret isnt the word i’d use. i wouldn’t kiss this person now but back then i liked him, so no. no regrets. 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: not that i know of, but i don’t think so. 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: 24/7 fam 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: i’ve only thrown up while drunk once and it wasn’t even from the alcohol lmao. it was well over a year ago though, maybe even two. 

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. purple 13. pink 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yes 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no, i was never in it 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: i’m sure 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: in the last year??? i’m not sure. 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: nah 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: i been knew 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: i dont have facebook but also i haven’t kissed anyone so big no

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: no facebook, but i knew 99% of them when i did 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: two cats, annie and sami. we took sami in about a week ago.  24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: legally i wanna make michelle my first name bc its my middle name now but its what i’ve always gone by. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: nothing lol. had dinner. got presents. chilled. im not a big fan of big celebrations, i like to be alone.  26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: i woke up at like 11 today bc my nephew and niece were being loud and i couldn’t sleep anymore. 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: i may have been asleep? or i was chilling on here, about to sleep. 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: for the next wrestling event here to be announced. 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: like 30 minutes ago, i went in the kitchen and she came in and scared me bc i thought she was asleep lmao 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: an asmr video lmfao 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: my dads real name is thomas and my brothers name is tommy lmao so yeah 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: other people’s drama fucking with my life 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: tumblr or twitter probably 35. HAIR COLOR: purple 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long 37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: not really, aside from “celebrity crushes” ya know 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: uhhhhhhhhhh i’ll come back to this 39. PIERCINGS: no, used to have my ears pierced but they closed up 40. BLOOD TYPE: I DUNNO 41. NICKNAME: chelle for short, thats really it 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single af 43. ZODIAC: scorpio 44. PRONOUNS: she/her 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: brooklyn nine-nine 46. TATTOOS: nope 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right 48. SURGERY: none 50. SPORT: pro wrestling 51. VACATION: i used to love clearwater florida when i was a kid 52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: deadass i dont even own a pair so

MORE GENERAL

53. EATING: i have a milky way im eating rn 54. DRINKING: water 55. I’M ABOUT TO: fall asleep 56. WAITING FOR: my energy and motivation and will to live to return from war 57. WANT: to cuddle 58. GET MARRIED: i dont care tbh. if it was really important to the person i wanted to be with forever then i’d do it but i’m fine either way. 59. CAREER: i was doing book keeping now im a professional disappointment 

WHICH IS BETTER

60. HUGS OR KISSES: hugs 61. LIPS OR EYES: eyes 62. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: older 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms???  65. HOOKUP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship??? but neither right now 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: hesitant i guess. troublemakers give me anxiety when i’m around them.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. KISSED A STRANGER: no 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yeah 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: no. i could never lose glasses bc they’re always on my face. 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yeah 71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: im a fucking virgin 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: yes 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah. not in a romantic way. 74. BEEN ARRESTED: no 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes  76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: uhhh i wouldn’t say i’ve ever FALLEN for a friend but had lil things for?? yeah. real bad in 6th/7th grade. that was probably the closest i got to falling for a friend.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. YOURSELF: tbh no 78. MIRACLES: maybe 79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: no 80. SANTA CLAUS: no 81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: sure, if ur feeling it why not 82. ANGELS: i might

OTHER:

84. EYE COLOR: mine is green, idc about other peoples. all eyes/eye colors can be pretty. 85. FAVORITE MOVIE: scream

i shall tag: @erinwritesstuff @clexawrites @underdogfromtheundergroundrps @cinciscrapper @hhauntedless @nayroleplays and anyone else who wants to do it!!! feel free to ignore xoxoxo