#bc i sure am and its cool and fun
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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I got an idea when looking at this post by @tangledinink. I couldn’t rest until I’d jotted it down. The art possessed me like an evil spirit. warnings for body horror, vomiting, general fuckery. 💚
what probably happened directly before Leo found himself in this situation:
Leo: Fairies? No way those sparkly little assholes are real.
The fae who happened to be within earshot: and i took that personally.
Anyway, here we gooooo:
Leo opens his mouth to scream, but the sound won’t come out. He gags on the feeling of it catching inside his throat, and then again when the trapped scream begins to grow thorns. It scrapes its way up, and he claws desperately at his throat, trying to tear the feeling out, falling to his knees as he gags around the forced silence.
The threat of suffocation is enough to tear his attention, however briefly, away from the horror of what is happening to his shell. His body is changing itself on the urging of some other thing’s whims, and even though his nerves didn’t seem to get the memo that a dissolving shell (you know, the thing that most of his internal organs and, like, half of his bones need to stay inside his body?) should probably hurt a lot, he can still feel it.
He retches as the first flower falls from his lips. It hits the ground with a disgustingly wet sound, coated with bile and saliva. It shines wetly, rich orange hues standing out brightly against the black soil. The rest follow shortly after, a painful deluge of familiar colors, and he’s helpless to do anything but dig his fingers deep into the rich soil and try not to let the horrific impossibility of the situation drive him crazy. Tears flow freely, staining his cheeks before they fall to the ground below, greedily absorbed by the cursed earth of this place.
“Oh, dear,” a voice says, too close for him not to have noticed their presence. He tries to jerk back, but he can’t pull his fingers from the dirt. It hurts when he tries. A high pitched whine escapes his throat, but he’s too terrified to be embarrassed by that. The voice shushes him, soothes him, and warm fingers wrap tight around the back of his neck. They come to rest just above where the lip of his shell should be. He sobs at the way his back squirms as heat shoots down his spine and something begins to grow. The furred fingers drag like velvet against his scales as they squeeze, the sharp prick of claws threatening to break skin, and then release him just as suddenly.
“So much sorrow and pain. And, oh, so many regrets,” the thing says as she circles him, humming a tune that makes his head pound in rhythm with his racing heart. His hands have sunk beneath the black soil, and it has begun licking greedily at his wrists as well. He can feel tendrils of something wet and cold winding themselves around his fingers, and he wants to scream again, but the bursts of bile-soaked colors decorating the ground keep him from opening his mouth. He can feel a petal still clinging to his bottom lip, and when the thing kneels before him, she reaches out to pluck it off, unbothered by the way he shrinks as far away from her touch as he can manage.
She slips it between her lips, and he catches a flash of a blackened tongue as it darts out to meet that single purple petal. Her teeth are sharp when she smiles at him. They hadn’t been sharp, when she’d first approached him in the Hidden City. Nothing about her had been.
In the dim lights of the underground world he and his brothers had only recently begun to explore, she had looked soft. He’d seen her approaching, and the first thought to flit through his head was, aw, bunny. A fluffy, rounded face. Big eyes, dark and deep as a still pond as they reflected the flickering neon of a sign in the shop window behind him. A pink nose had twitched when she’d smiled at him, sweet and kind, and asked him for his name.
(What had he told her?)
Now, she would be unrecognizable, if not for the same strawberry patterned dress that drapes over her stretched out frame. He’d think to compare her to a hare now, but the hares he’d seen when watching Animal Planet with mikey had never looked like they would take delight in tearing his nails off one by one or plucking out his eyeballs. They had never made his vision swim or his body shake when he’d looked at them. Maybe she’s become more of a wolf.
The soil has reached his elbows. Those cool, slimy tendrils have circled his wrists like shackles. They’re squeezing tighter and tighter, and he feels his fingers throb and tingle as circulation is cut off.
His mind flashes briefly to raph and how he used to tell them not to wear rubber bands on their wrists, convinced that their hands would fall right off if they got squeezed too tight. He wonders if the things that live beneath the dirt will steal what they’ve claimed, just like she’s stollen his shell. Another sound wants to bubble up his throat at the thought, and he lets it, because what use is a swordsman without his hands?
The hysterical giggles escape as big, iridescent bubbles. They glitter pink and blue and leave a bitter taste on his tongue. They only float a few feet into the air before they fall back to the ground, their attempt to flee the horror of this situation not getting too far at all. Soft green grass rises up from the dirt to catch them, but they do not pop. They rest, suspended on those tiny blades, for far longer than any bubble he’s ever blown before. He watches, transfixed, as his laughter is eventually swallowed by green. It begins to spread.
A hand cradles his chin, and his gaze jerks back to the thing that brought him here. She is watching him intently, eyes darting to take in every tiny change in his expression. She looks curious, in the same way that donnie does when he’s thinking about all the ways he can take something apart, and what he can do with those pieces to create something better.
Her hand is soft where it touches him. She is gentle as she wipes a cloth across his mouth. It feels like water, soothing and cool, and he finds himself leaning into this tiny offer of comfort among the stomach churning violation of what is being done to him. His eyes flutter, and he distantly registers that the face she wears seems to swim before his eyes with each rapid blink, shifting back and forth between bunny and wolf and something other. She looks like she wants to devour him whole, no matter which face she wears.
From this close, he can see the way her eyes sparkle and dance when she smiles. He can’t help but think that maybe being swallowed whole wouldn’t be such a bad way to go, after all.
The writhing shackles around his wrists tighten.
She laughs, breathy and soft, and the sound is layered and beautiful like wind chimes. It conjures a hurricane inside his mind. Her cool breath gusts over his face. It smells like churned dirt and funeral flowers and pustulous rot. He doesn’t know if he wants to gag or breathe deeper.
“Little blossom,” she croons, cupping both his cheeks, dragging their faces close. He doesn’t resist. She giggles, and she drags those soft hands and those sharp claws down his neck and over his shoulders, fingertips bumping against the disgustinghorriblewrongparasitetumor gathering of delicate buds that have sprouted up all across his back. She pinches one between the pads of her fingers, and he wants to screamcrybeghertostoppushherawaycutherdownandtearthemalloutbytheroots be good for her.
“Little blossom,” she says again, and those dark eyes catch his gaze and hold it as a heavy feeling settles against his skin, across his shoulders, around his neck, and he can’t look away no matter how desperately he tries. But he doesn’t want to try. Her smile stretches wider, wider, and for one brief flicker of a second he can see blood on her teeth as she asks, “Do you believe now?”
.
(Side note just for fun. The flowers that appear in this but aren’t actually described or named are:
Orange marigold, for grief and despair
Purple hyacinth, for sorrow and asking for forgiveness
Red cyclamen, for goodbye and resignation
Yellow zinnia, for missing a friend and remembrance
Bluebells, for gratitude and everlasting love
#Rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#faeries#rottmnt leo#body horror#Sorry sorry sorry#i checked your faq and it said you were cool with fanworks about your stuff and i didn’t want to clog your ask box so i’m just posting this#Lmk if you want me to get rid of it or anything#That picture (you know the one YOU KNOW THE ONE) grabbed me by the throat and made me write this though#Its all dark while the actual art is so light and adorable#Whoops#also fun fact blue bells are also known as fairy flowers and are said to call the fae to their revelries#I thought it was fitting that that would be leo’s flower even though nothing is ever mentioned by name in the actual writing lol#I wanted there to be a flower for splinter too but i wasn’t really sure what his signature color would be so#Shrugs#I am playing loose and fast with flower language#But its all based on like two hours of research to find the perfect ones at 3am lol#Bc again this idea would Not Let Me Go#Which is nice actually bc i’ve been in a slump so getting possessed by an idea was refreshing actually#ok shutting up now#Hope you like it#Bye now#Wait i have to come back to say that i am so so so excited to see where tangledinink is taking things#It is going to be so amazing and i am ready to cry#I love this sort of thing so so much
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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As promised. Memes:
And as promised, ranting:
Okay, so, real talk, I did not actually like everything in this book, but I still fucked with it SO HARD. Like, honestly, I picked up what this was putting down (a little heavy-handedly, but done so well imho???) and the WAY IT WAS WRITTEN????
Like, I did a course on the Aeneid. And obviously it was a Roman mythos, not Greek, but DAMN, CLAIRE NORTH. I could see my translations!!! Written in the vernacular of english!!! RiGHT THERE IN THE TEXXT!!!! I GOT SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! It's just, such little things. The phrasing of a certain line. The odd usage of certain similes or metaphors that go off about people or places. The strange diversions to explain events or people right in the middle of the text before jumping straight back into the story. IT WAS SO VERGIL GUYS I SWEAR.
(i haven't had to translate the greek myths sorry guys and I read the odyssey so many years ago in english many apologies am working off what I got)
And, like, as I said, it was very heavy-handed as it backhanded the greek poets for ignoring the women but, like, she was right??? It was insane guys. It was absolutely insane. And everyone was so nuanced and had personalities and hopes and dreams and backstories and at points I was worried she was going to sacrifice the guys to further the women??? Which, like, I understand the irony, and obv couldn't super fault her for it, but she ended up balancing everyone out so well??? Like the guys were in the background instead but they were still all unique and had different priorities and shit.
Just, this whole book was such a breath of fresh air. Damn.
#as a believer in odypen tho I am a little concerned with how the trilogy is gonna go#but i dont think i can blame her#and honestly i'm not a hundred percent sure if its bc it was thru hera's eyes and if there was a biased narrator#WHICH IS SUPER COOL IN AND OF ITSELF#and obv as a major pjo reader I was eyeing hera with hella suspicion#but obviously this is someone else's interpretation of hera and i honestly kinda fucked with her#like i didn't super like her all the time but she was a damn good narrator#like i didn't like clytemnestra a whoooole bunch like hera but also yeah i could absolutely respect her#like shit this book SLAPPED#I still get so fucking excited about the actual writing itself#it was such a cool blend of classical-writing and just straight up british slang it was so much fun to read fr fr#would recommend if you like feminist books and/or classic greek retellings#i'd have to research to see if any of the things happened in the background of the odyssey or some shit#but overall its a really neat read i think#just yelling into the void#ithaca#ithaca by claire north#meme time#hera#the odyssey
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how I look suggesting to my group partners that we do our bio presentation on vultures
#reggietales#specifically how they evolved convergently and might throw in a note thrown in on conservation too bc theyre. in trouble!!!!!!#they said they didnt have any ideas and we needed a topic i was like 'well i do have one idea..........................'#they seemed receptive so we'll see. i feel kind of bad like im forcing them but!!!! augh!!!!!!! we needed a topic and i had that one in min#and they said they were cool with anything so. idk i stressed that we rly didnt have to do this topic i was just throwing out an idea i wan#them to be interested too. its not fun if their hearts arent in it. we can pick p much anything lets do something well all enjoy yk? augh#i hope its ok. i hope theyre not secretly mad at me. mayb i should have been quiet. idk#i hesitate to use the word neurodivergent to describe myself bc ive never been formally diagnosed with adhd or autism#and i also dont think im negatively impacted enough by any traits i share w those disorders to qualify to have them#but i am for sure fucking abnormal about birds and vultures like. hyperfixation is the only word that fits. maybe even special interest idk#like i almost dont WANT to do this topic it weirdly feels like. selfish??? idk im just. aaaahhhhh!!! lmao#*staring haggard and weary at myself in the mirror gripping the counter with a white-knuckled grip* i will be normal i will be normal i wil
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name some canonically nonbinary characters why dont you
#toy txt post#those 'name 10 female characters' posts got me rolling my eyes again. just ultimate performative bullshit huh#its giving i think picking a favorite blorbo os activism. by shipping an appropriate amount of femslash in a way that is genuine#but not overbearing or that might be fetishizing! and im not forgetting the characters for the ships not like those nasty m/m shippers!#and by doing this i will reinstate abortion rights. with my Feminist Tastes. im putting words in ppls mouths and being petty but good god#like everyday this shits on my dash. can you all just start blocking the annyoing misogynist m/m shippers you dislike then?#'dont name a male character you just call babygirl' are you normal about trans headcanons? im sure im SURE you are getting the most#annoying fuckers in the world in your notes just calling male characters babygirl without it being a trans headcanon but i have seen so#many posts of this flavor now. are you consuming media correctly? are you consuming the correct media correctly? are you doing it right?#are you meeting your ship quota? are you caring about the characters outside of their ships enough? are you shipping the characters of#color the right amount the right ways to the right characters but not too much cos that might be fetishy? are you headcanoning them aspec?#are YOU aspec? we'll give you a begrudging pass for headcanoning marginalized characters as Aspec MAYBE but dont get too annoyed about#seeing ships and you have to be so polite about everyone equating aspec headcanons with infantilization with no thought to the irony that#in doing so theyre infantilizing aspecs. its honestly 50/50 if you get a pass to headcanon a character as aspec. but we will talk about#doing so as a one to one example of writing the character out of the way of your ship. you and i are not the same. name ten female#characters. name 5 of their albums and recite all the lyrics from memory. produce 5 pieces of heartfelt fic or fanart to prove your genuine#love of the character. are you going to be normal about it if someone names a cano ically male character they headcanon as a trans fem?#or will you start on some shit about how that doesnt count cos shes not a real girl? or do you know better than to say that bc that would#be genuinely shitty. are you doing it right? are you doing it right? are you doing it right? prove your fandom activism to me. write a#feminist retelling of the narrative. what if i name 10 female characters that im headcanoning as transmasc or nonbinary and calling them#babygirl? are you doing it right? am i doing it right yet? am i performing fan engagement correctly?#am i correctly engaging with fan content? is this going to please your algorithm? but not too much. just a little spicy. a little punk. but#not so much i get banned from the platform. for fandom. am i doing it right? are you shipping Pure and Wholesome Ships?#are you Cool and Edgy? do you only ship characters that hate each other that kill each other that are siblings that are problematic? have#you gone so far the other way you think youre cool to scoff at those silly tiktok puritans who only ship pure ships? you wont even think#about a show if its Politically correct you want it to call you a slur. cos youre tough and cool not like those mentally weak uncritical#tiktok puriteens. are you winning son? are you winning? are you having fun yet? are you doing it right? pass my gauntlet#are you a fake nerd girl? name five obscure comics characters to prove youre a real fan. do you hate women? are you winning?#are you winning at correctly engaging with media content? do you get a sticker? is there a sticker for naming 10 female characters? what#about 20. do you completly write off media with Less Women? put your money where your mouth is then. ship the girls in fast and furious
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Hes so silly and we love him for it
#dc liveblog#hes just having a great time right now. having fun and getting silly with it#dc liveblog update: ive started the nightwing arc (where he dresses as nightwing)#not entirely sure what jason is trying to do here yet but its fun watching him#i never expected the “oh my goodness gracious ive been bamboozled” panel to be real and i am so pleased#as for the end w the batarang. hmm!#ive seen fic interpretation of that scene. and yeas it is fucked bruce hit him in the neck#i feel like there may have been other options there#However.#it does still get dramatized like most everything else when hit w the fanon beam#i mean. ive seen plenty of things saying bruce saved the joker. certainly not the case. joker exploded the building and bruce booked it#and then a jason panel bc yknow. jason exploded#but its not like he was left to try and escape the explosion itself while joker was rescued#im getting the feeling the bats intended to patch jason up i think. the explosion very much messed with his original plans#i wonder if any later comics add in those things ive seen in fics. or if its entirely fanon. questions thatll be answered the more i read#i suppose#still messed up with the batarang alone though. like that was alot of blood#and he absolutely died here#he got better though because he is simply the universe's special little boy /silly#also the yellow Lazarus pit is the coolest thing ever why does everyone say green. i mean. i know a later version makes it green i think#but yellow is soo cool#my theory is the green won for dp crossover reasons
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I can't wait to be made fun of by my entire family for not drinking alcohol 🙂👍
#i made the decision when i was 13 and ive never questioned it#ive tasted a little bit of alcohol anyway and i hate it so what am i missing out on. nothing#my brother has always made fun of me and judged me for it#and hes very..... he thinks hes very cool bc he buys expensive whiskey. you know#my family aren't super strict like you cant touch alcohol a second before you turn 21 so maybe theyve already noticed??#but it will be very obvious once i actually am 21#and everyone is gonna .. have opinions about it#especially my uncle . who loves making fun of me any chance he gets#so im sure he'll have a field day 😀#also my birthday is the same time as independence day and my whole family has a pool party the first weekend of july bc of that#(independence day not my birthday)#but its always within a few days of my birthday#and a summer independence day pool party a few days after your 21st birthday is a great time for alcohol !!!1!1!!1#is what they will all say
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shaking you're lucky anti entropy visual novel is fucking broken again i think permanently i would not shut the fuck up about that visual novel
#SHAKING IM PRETTY SURE..... THATS THE SAME PLACE IN THE VISUAL NOVEL#snow plays hi3#sorry im doing this on main. i wouldve put it on the ss blog instead bc thats where i throw all my hi3 related thoughts T _ T#but just bc i rb'd that post here im like WHHHH HIIIIII ????????? COOL!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!#anti entropy takes place between london and some places in the US !#but i never listed down all the places they go to in each T _ T#AND I CANT ACCESS THEM BECAUSE THE VISUAL NOVELS DOOOOOOOOWN (STARTS PUNCHING)#you served me well... youll always be remembered 🤧🤧#so i didnt know the name of the cemetry#until i saw that post and i was like wAH. WAIT A SECOND THAT LOOKS LIKE - ?!#one of these days *shakes my fist*#its a shame that the vn went down#T _ T i was going to use it as voice acting practice but nooooo#i still am on a journey to find sOMETHING to practice with it sucks ass but ngl#it would be fun to restart honkai to try doing some eng dub interps.#BUT I DONT WANNA RESTART.. IM MAKING SM PROGRESS..#ok once i finish ch 10 i think. maybe ch 12#ahaha truth be told once i get to ch 12 youre losing me to the void forever lmao#anyways! hi. sorry not meant to be on main but ✌🏼#im so pooped still from yesterday so im like o 7 o i want to do NO work#i dont WANT to study about white blood cells T _ T#im not meant to be here!!!! this aint my department!!!!! get me OUT#anyways i couldve put this in the tags#i didnt on that post bc i was like T _ T oh op would see this#so ill be a little nerd in private (on a public blog)
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...
#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated
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category twelve nerd moment ->->-> analysis of john william's superman theme
#bluebird.txt#superman#WOUEGHGIEUGEYEHEGHGEYHEGYERHRGEYR#<- the noise i am making in my brain#throughout my whole process of applying to college ive been working so hard on actually playing my instrument#that i forgot how ABSOLUTELY HOPELESSLY IN LOVE i am with diving deep into the whys and hows of film music jhiygriuhreghig#i mean it is fucking tough out there if you're not already well known to be sure#im sure on the career and getting paid side its fucking hard#but its just so cool. to write music and stories and make people see things and feel things. IOHUGSFAH.#idk if anyone of my mutuals or anyone who follows me is a musician but if anyone who sees this is a musician: hey. this is cool as FUCK#violaposting#<- thats just my 'me being a musician' tag now#also the article says that john williams said that he really enjoyed working on it bc its fun and doesnt take itself too seriously: YES!!!!
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My best local friend is a system lol. How the fuck did that happen?
#I know I voiced my suspicion that they might be before but I know now#I was like 94% yesterday but now I know#bc they switched in front of me and told me (I asked what happened bc I noticed something & wanted to make sure they were okay)#but like. man. idk. weight off my shoulders not having anyone to talk to about it here! now I do!#I'm still scared to really talk about it. esp because I feel like I have too much fun with my systemhood#weird insecurity I know. but eeehh. I dont want them to think any less of me because I like. have such a dynamic situation going on#like. I just like making bracelets and picrews and shit and I do it all the time#bc thats who I am! its who we are yk#btw Charlie made his bracelet today and he started our new journal B) hims so cool#idr what I say. sleep time. only have 4 hour befor work @.@
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guess who got obsessed over nightwing overnight bc they read dark matter yesterday??? hahaha... :)
#idc much for either dc or marvel but i like spiderman (& loki) so. yea. i read it. and fell in love w/ nightwing#so guess who's saved up some batfam fics to read?? haha.#also i cant stop staring at nightwing fanarts he's gorgeous sorry#i am weak for this type of character ('perfect' eldest sister vibes)#(even tho im the younger sibling and was often the youngest in my friend groups yes)#(its probably bc im a perfectionist tho)#(also i havent actually read any of the comics or watched any of the shows so my perception of him is def skewed from canon but who cares)#(i wont be making any fanfic anyway so my own interpretations dont matter bc i wont spread anything. correct or incorrect as it may be)#(but yea from what i've seen those r the vibes i get from him specifically in relation to the 'batfam' & not with the other groups)#(also i've had a crush on robin since i watched teen titans when my age was in the single digits so honestly this very much tracks lmao)#(im pretty sure i still have my teen titans trouble in tokyo dvd somewhere. in one of the places my family keeps the dvds)#(sorry i couldnt see how cool you are starfire i was too busy holding a grudge over u being his love interest & me being unable to kiss him#finding out teen titans robin and nightwing r the same robin was fun ngl. like oh ur not a new crush ur just a past one that has come back#prettier than ever. to haunt me#(also a lot of gender envy. gorgeous man.)
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#someones occupying my alter'#i say alter' bc its . a swuare on my desk#but anyway u make do w what u have.#anyway. whoevers occupying it (bc they wont give me any indication as to eho they are btw. its rlly annoying. ive tried#but they helped me rearrange it n like . set it up to Their liking .#n i feel insane but i felt Physicslly compelled to do 3 different things n it was so fuckign . dawg#the rose is a week old btw n still is in sucbbpretty comdition. im impressed#i love it. idk who it is but im loving their presence rn#got my blaxk cat statue w a leaf (insistent kncthe leaf) + my rose / clear wuartz + selenite towrrs in a Specific Way (very pretty i admire)#n my amethyst angel Out of the crystsl box. so .#i have a feeling i am jusbsupposed tocfollow the clues shes giving me . n figure it out from there but . its not a lotnto go off#i did enjoy the 'put it back. Now...' energy she gsve me when i picked he rrose up tho. like#she wasnt mad or anyrging. but she was definitely not Pleased n i got Naxious holding the longer i held it#so . shes protective of it actusllt whixh is 🥰🥰 bc i wasnt sure . who i was offering jt to#like i got it. set up the vase better n put tbe rose n in n kinda hus saud#just said that i was offering this ul to someone in my spjrit team as a gift / communication token#n its not tje 1st time ive done tgis but its the 1st time ive felt someone so strongly actually .#like . its so cool i rlly enjoy it. even if it means i am slightly insane ?#shes taken to the dead roses fromvmy birthday too i wasnt allowed to touch them#i mean . i was allowed to remive a few if i wanted to but she wanted One#i think its a woman. i dont rlly get . a masculine vibe from it#anyway. uts fun i try n say hello to her
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It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???
NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.
#okay so i need to give her a name. we will call her yn bc she is just so different and quirky and not like other girls#so i haven't liked yn since freshman year (am a junior) because she seemed incredibly pretentious. she has like awards n stuff for this#asian advocation group and tons of other stuff which is GOOD. but she has a tendency to brag and be very cocky about it.#AND YOU KNOW WHAT. IT WASNT JUST ME. MY FRIEND FROM SEMINAR who we will call Pie for certain reasons (her name rhymes with it) AGREED WITH#ME ABOUT YN BEING COCKY! and Pie and Yn are in the same group since they are both Asian and ppl at my school typically hang out w their rac#is that racist? like there's an asian boys group and asian girls group. but it's only asians and white people; but it's weird since a large#portion of my school is hispanic. i dunno WEIRD SIDE TANGENT BUT BASICALLY THEY ARE IN THE SAME GROUPS; RIGHT? so Pie was agreeing that Yn#can be very pretencious; and I'm then like#oh i don't really like her for the cheating stuff she did with Mac (fake name) and how she got#him to basically cheat on his girlfriend“ and Pie says ”oh well Mac started it; but Yn lead him on for over a month while he had a gf#and they kept this going until Yn decided to break things off; WHICH MEANS MAC'S NOW EX GIRLFRIEND NEVER KNEW ABOUT ANYTHING W MAC N YN!#also allegedly according to my boyfriend; Yn was doing homework as Mac was yk DOING it to Yn and she just like... LET IT HAPPEN WHILE HE HA#A GIRLFRIEND. HELLO? and when Yn ends it; he's like “omg but yn... i love you...” “no. i'll only hurt you; if you're with me it'll only hur#uh okay 25k words slowburn vibes.... ANYWAYS so she takes screenshots and sends them in a SUPER big groupchat with 20+ people (including Pi#and my boyfriend) and Pie (who was childhood friends with Mac) called her out saying how it was also kind of her fault for being with a guy#who was in a relationship; but she got super defensive about it. and this same thing happened AGAIN 2ish months later with a girl Jas and#her boyfriend Ben; where Yn was friends with both but basically was emotionally cheating with Jas; leading them to break up; and then she#GOT WITH JAS. HELLO???? WHAT??? and they r still together. none of them talk to Ben even though Yn said they were 'all cool and friends'#SUREEEE GIRL SURE. KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. and Pie called her out on this AGAIN since Pie is friends with Ben and Jas too but Yn got#defensive AGAIN! BC SHE KNOWS ITS A SHITTY THING TO DO! and Pie doesn't really like her because of it and when Pie told me all of that I wa#in shock. because Yn was trying to play the victim in the situation with Mac when she sent the messages to the gc; and tried to do that AGA#N BUT IN THE SITUATION WITH JAS LIKE NO U ARE JUST A CRAPPY PERSON ! and appearently she is SO toxic she was nearly kicked out from a#leadership role at my school's asian pacific islander club or something! like girl WAKE UP! but that's not all; so i didn't know she was#known for going for people who had partners; yet still didn't like her; and last school year (about 4 months ago) my boyfriend got a 'reall#bad haircut' (i thought it was cute; but everyone made fun of him ) and Yn RAN around our campus trying to find him to make fun of him..#like wtf that's so weird and she will post screenshots of their convos on her story and be like 'omg he's bullying me!' when he's being dry#and did that in the gc (this time; i'm in it!) and i crashed out but my bf was apologizing and saying he told her to not post anything but#she didn't listen or something i guess. and sometimes when they are wearing similar outfits she'll post on her story that they are matching#um girl he has a wife and 12 kids. back the FUCK off. and i told him to distance himself from her or set boundries cuz i don't like that n#it makes me uncomfy; so he did which is good! but i still don't like Yn. she is a major pick-me IMO and very two-faced and covers her
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Theyre going to think I like canon and purely canon if I keep going on like this
#i. despite my many complaints. do enjoy comics. and going into the Comic Reading Fandom#there is a shocking amount of people who are purely in the fandom but have never interacted with the source#while i do believe its fine to dabble in something you haven't seen the source for yet but plan to#being a creating active presence in fandom for something youre not a fan of. just doesn't sit with me#its just a bit baffling. to be a fan of the fandom amd never touch the canon#like lifelong christians who attend every service and judge others based on gods word. who have never even read the full bible.#its just all the pastors word and stories n verses they grew up with#thats exactly how i see it I fear#fanon dynamics and tropes heavily overwhelm the canon. and i tend to prefer the canon. so it gets frustrating#not to mention how many popular ones completely flip characters. reinforce stereotypes. have even more confusing timelines. etc#its like the online fan equivalent of years of domestication and breeding that turned wolves to pugs#not that extreme but you get me#i mess with canon. i like to get silly with it. i like to fuck around#plenty of things i dont like i Will ignore or rewrite! or make an au where i can do whatever on earth i want#i dont respect canon or think its the end all be all and if you step one foot out of line of canon ill maul you like an angry dog#its just like! maybe read the one singular comic issue youre about base your entire interpretation on the fanon version of#this is ending in just me complaining about titans tower yeah. sorry. its the prime example i fear#but at least its easy to filter out#man! if i just had a way to filter things out better..#sometimes it reaches the point where i consider just blocking the entire tim tag. sorry tim#i Will uplift the community i desire instead of focusing on my hatred and complaining!!#i just need to get out of art block and find cool blogs to follow that Get Me to help me out first!!#unfortunately i have a really weird complex about following people especially if they followed me first!!!#not sure what thats about!!#but ill get to the other things!!!#i am also just a complainer though !#and i get into arguments alot without realizing it because i love noting every detail and correcting people!!#i tried to put every william mention and appearance from tse in a google doc. and with ralpho. thsoe got much easier when i got#digital copies of the fnaf books. but what im saying is i LOVE having all the facts n details abt my blorbos. esp in over detailed notes.fu#havijg all the references on hand! and sharing my precious beautiful knowledge. carefully noted bc my poor memory. very delightful. fun!
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