#bc i know for a lot of people (me included) sunny is supposed to be fun

[convexicalcrow]

All The Fkn Lore Drops From Mythical J. Sausage's Empires Stream on Feb 4, 2023

And I mean, ALL OF THEM.

(source: Sausage's Empires livestream 4/2/23)

(commentary is in parentheses)

No time stamps bc this took long enough as it is and my hands would not forgive me if I did anything more. There are some approximate time markers I chucked in as I went but nothing specific.

Also this is Very Long, there are like 3.5k words of notes I took while watching this. I mostly focused on the lore stuff, but there's also a bit of extraneous commentary as well and some suggestive quotes I had to include. But yeah. Mostly it is lore, which says a lot lol.

we (the audience) are the watchers (from Evo lore) watching Sausage

he can see us, bc he can see everything (like Dr Strange apparently idk shit about Marvel stuff tho frfr) and he can communicate with us

he's had these powers for millenia but he's now unlocked them bc he's woken from his watcher slumber. bc the rift gave him his memories back from every life he's ever lived.

he literally said Sir Carlos is dead, everyone's dead, but he's not going over old/dead lore.

(please remember him saying Sir Carlos is dead, bc he gives us some Sir Carlos lore later on that contradicts this)

promises to put signs up for everyone who becomes a member (he will live to regret this at the end of the stream lol)

(sausage after dark needs to happen plz sausage i need the fwimmy fanfics bc ofc he ships fwhimmy lmao)

lore trees! done with magic. based on the Tree of Whimsy. Mini Trees of Whimsy.

suggests stealing the Tree of Whimsy from Bdubs like a normal person lol

he will worship Sun God Bdubs and communicate with him one day

there's Something in the Cathedral that's lore-related that he can't show us (may be in the ep that's coming out today?)

if he goes back in time, he can see The General

gotta shake Sunny's hand when you greet him

Bubbles and Athena have been fighting for two days; she stole Bubble's food lol. Athena guards Sunny.

Eddie always wants to go visit Oli, but Oli's never around, and it's dangerous in the Olipelago.

Eddie's getting Thicccc, been working out a lot lately.

Eddie's going to the Olipelago for two weeks for a holiday. That's Canon lol.

rip Diedre the Dodo ;_; (literally NO ONE spelt her name properly bc Ren's accent is a hot mess. XD)

makes a point of telling Sgorby that he's gonna start making out with everyone on the hardcore server now

he technically knows about the Wither Rose Alliance now. But he's not supposed to tell ppl that he knows, bc it might fuck with things. Black Collar Bubbles told him not to tell ppl. Could rip spacetime.

normal things he does in Sanctuary: he's just walking around, doing some farming, checking the visitor centre, that kind of thing.

leatherworker shop for Maria??

Maria's single and looking for love in all the wrong places.

Just looking for a good time, not to get locked down with anyone. Bunnies are party people.

Carlos has been living in the tavern, hasn't had his trades locked in.

Came in on a boat a while back and been living in the tavern ever since.

Could it be Sir Carlos? Maybe, maybe not.

OG Sir Carlos is long gone in this world.

Hermes is home-schooled, so they don't really need a public school system.

Hermes is the only child in Sanctuary. All the other children are in other realms/elsewhere/not in Sanctuary.

Technically Sunny is a child, 2 wks old, but they're an AI system so. Smarter than everyone in this world.

Technically did you see Sir Carlos die? In lore and in canon? Did you ever see him die at the end of the season? The last thing we saw of him was that he had to leave suddenly. We didn't see him go. He had to leave, go off on an adventure, he couldn't say, had to go somewhere specific. Sir Carlos is cursed, turned into a chicken by some other being. Legendary knight who's been around for a very long time. Is he immortal? Not immortal, but very powerful. Has been known to shapeshift. Technically he could be somewhere in the background. Maybe he came from an adventure somewhere, just showed up. Not as a knight anymore. But maybe, just maybe, be might have found us again, he says, looking at Carlos the villager. Came on boats, both time. Funny that. Sir Carlos of Mythland usually comes on a boat at a dock. From time to time. Whenever he's needed. So yeah. Strange.

(3 hours isn't a long stream, Sausage, not when you watch Cub's speedrunning vods lmao)

Can Sir Carlos dimension jump? He's a special being- er, person. Gods love your boy, and superpowered beings too. They gravitate to him. It's nbd.

We will see more of Sir Carlos later. Sausage has Plans.

Keralis and Bdubs were the first tutorial/series he watched, and he got to kiss them both in lore and in canon

jimmy villain arc fanfic tiem!

jimmy is a toy backstory, then the villain arc.

(i'm only 43 mins in btw lolololol)

jimmy's villain arc, chapter one, by mythical j. sausage:

jimmy's a toy and everyone knows it except jimmy. then he has a realisation. why is my skin so hard? oh, i'm made of wood! D: looks back as a shot fires, and out comes a demon, was it xornoth? No! a western demon, dressed all in black. I cursed you boy, and now you can see. Everyone sees it, open your eyes, boy. I did it, you're gonna do nothing about it. You're right! I was blinded this whole time! Demon disappeared, laughing his whole time. Hit by lightning, the wood starts burning! He starts melting and turns into a pile of ash! The demon comes back. He waves his hands in the air and the ash spews up into the air, all jimmy ashes, and it creates Jimmy from the ground up, but now he's made of ash. Eyes are dead. Yeeehaaaa motherfucker! Cursing up a storm now, and goes around killing everyone. Can fly into the sky like an ash tornado. Demon tells him to murder all the empires. So he goes, and the tornado goes out the door of the saloon. Shoots a gun, has two six shooters now. Goes all the way to Stratos, to kill Joel. His first victim. Jimmy goes to Stratos, straight into the heart of the god's realm, to take out Joel, for all the time he called him a toy, even though he was right. Passes the statue of Saint Peril and donkey Jeremy. Jimmy's cussing all over the place, no longer PG. More lighting! Joel's clapping his cheeks! Just practicing lol. Sausage wasn't around, he was resting under a tree in Sanctuary. Look, it's the stupid little toy! Jimmy's cursing and shooting Joel in the face several times. Empties his guns. Joel's dead. Has just killed a god. Jimmy laughs. Bullets were made with some kind of evil juice that enabled him to kill a god. Then Hermes shoots into the sky! Looks down at evil Jimmy! He's mad! You killed my father! D: You're gonna die now, little man! Jimmy looks up at Hermes flapping his little wings on his feet. Always wanted to kill you! But Hermes doesn't let him finish and shoots him in the eye with lightning and Jimmy explodes into ash. The demon appears and is like, you can't do that! but Hermes kills him too. He's crying now, going down to daddy Joel. Not today, Daddy, and kissed him on the forehead, and Joel came back to life. What happened? The toy's dead, no need to worry about him anymore. Oh, cool! Starts clapping his cheeks again lol. The End. (this is paraphrased in places but that's the gist of it)

it's fanfic not canon, jimmy's a good man.

Empires!Sausage would write his own fanfiction about his friends. It's Canon.

yassify that demon! he says about the western demon he created lol.

(i will Not document the slander happening rn frfr)

(ya boi is procrastinating real hard on the tree clearing ngl)

next fanfic is what evil sausage was doing while he was away

is it gonna be headcanon or lore? who knows?

(one hour in and we have started cutting trees)

(we're tree-clearing for a Lore Build)

("the bush is more important than the sapling")

(he loves False's lore as well <3)

evil sausage can't be the good twin.

s2 Sausage is Extra Good now. s1 Sausage had Issues, did some bad stuff. Mix of good and bad. But this version of him has zero evilness. Nothing bad now. Goodest of the good boys. It's bc Gem in s1 took every bit of corruption and badness in him. There's nothing left. He jokes around, but there's no evil intent. The Other Sausage has all of Sausage's evilness.

you do need a little bit of both though. Being completely good can mess things up in the future. Too much of a good thing can be bad, he says, so keep that in mind. (<_<)

there's no canon on the hardcore server, just killing everyone at the end lol.

"Oh no my chests are gone!" he says as he enters his storage room, before they appear a moment later. "That's lore!" (right, ofc it is)

("This is my one and only junk drawer, don't tell Pearlescent Moon")

Blood sheep are long since gone, and can't come back. They're gone. Been thousands of years since they were last seen. Might be elsewhere but he won't be investigating.

are blood sheep extinct? technically he hasn't seen them in a very long time, but he's also very far away from where mythland would have been so maybe they're around there? but no one's seen them for generations. they're not around here.

all blood sheep are red sheep but not all red sheep are blood sheep - he's talked with all the red sheep he's found around Sanctuary and they're just regular sheep.

The Mythland Song! D: It's apparently now the dimension warping song. He has to warp dimensions every time it comes up now. >_>

(he has sound effects and everything >_>)

(I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING SAUSAGE)

(1h 20min in for those keeping check of the time)

Bubbles told him not to do this, but he's here now so.

"I got warped back, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine…"

We're just in another realm.

Can't get into the summoning circle tho. >_>

There are blood sheep around.

About an hour before the End Times.

Xornoth could be around, bc he was around at this time, but doesn't know where he is.

Going to look for Bubbles now.

Just minding his own business when he met Xornoth for the first time.

Thinking of warping the blacksmith into Sanctuary bc he needs an autosmelter. It's where he first met Xornoth as well. >_>

Going to see The General. :D

(Bubbles is the ultimate being but forget he said that >_>)

Blood Sheep Lore! After they rained down on Mythland! What caused them to rain down? 1) he sent Evil Sausage into that pocket dimension, an exact copy of this world. It was other blood sheep from that world too, and Evil Sausage destroyed Mythland in that world, including the blood sheep, for absolutely no purpose. They're happy to be sacrificed for a greater purpose. But if there's no greater purpose to their sacrifice, they get angry. That's why they got upset with Sausage. 2) the salmon/cod explosion ALSO caused it, and that triggered the big explosion of blood sheep to rain down on them. They became cannibalistic. Ate everything and everyone out in these realms. General was eaten alive. Villagers dead. Every animal, person, being got eaten by blood sheep as revenge for what Sausage did. Went on for many, many years. He can never save the people in Mythland. He couldn't change it. Ate everything in sight until the only thing left was blood sheep.

He's gone downstairs after seeing House Horse. There are blood sheep down here too. and he looks at the cells and he's like, …wait. am I in the wrong… Mythland? D: is this where-…? wait. no is this where evil me… did he rebuild-? D: i have to leave now. leaves immediately bc that [the bars of the left hand cell I am assuming] were open last time.

we're fine, we're back.

In denial about it being That Mythland. It was probably regular Mythland right? And he wasn't there that long. It's fine. He's fine. It wasn't where Evil Me was. Just coincidence that thing was sealed up.

evil sausage def isn't hanging around looking for a way to get back, trying to cling onto me and find his way back here (or words to that effect, ya boi mumbled that a bit ngl)

(tangent about the mcytblr sexyman polls bc ofc)

(scar is a very sexy man, and sausage is 100% right and he should say it)

(ftr i still kinda don't really get the tumblr sexyman concept even though i have tried to understand it but you do you tumblr <3 i am just enjoying the chaos and the fun and the polls lol)

someone tells sausage that shelby's got a lil skulk thing going on and he's rightfully a lil concerned about that

promising something special with lore in the next ep, very good lore.

is the story over now the crossover's done? well, that was like the mid-season finale for that ep with the crossovers, bringing that arc to a close. Still a lot of stories left to tell. A lot of things and unanswered questions from lore which will be coming back before the end. Pages and pages of written stuff that he's been planning, and we're not even close to getting to that spot. Don't worry, there's a lot to come. Wanted the Pearl thing to feel very special. All the unanswered stuff will be answered before the end. No end date yet. There's story things to get to, and things that are gonna build on that, so there's no end date yet. Things gonna ramp up very soon and a lot of crazy things are gonna happen.

Sausage the matchmaker, pretty much everyone he matches up works out

before all things said and done, The Chart is gonna be a billboard. Gonna get with every new person lol, add all kinds of weird things to the chart. Out of spite, but also out of fun. (i think it was out of fun, it was hard to catch that word)

("wood daddy chopping wood and slandering people in the chat room")

("at least you put it in the back and not in the front")

evil sausage: what is he doing now? is the title of the next fanfic lol

(lowkey appreciating the lack of lore in this part of the stream bc my hands needed a break lol)

invisible axolotls? D: D: D:

the song playing rn is the one where he met Pearl from the crossover and it wasn't Santa Perla and he needed consoling. But he remembers her now.

Pearl's holding her godly powers back so she can be a normal person for once.

if e2!Sausage was an animal, he'd be a lion. like mufasa. he likes tragic characters (yeah I had noticed Sausage lol) big giant mane, furry chest, etc.

wood-chopping sausage with a lil fur on his chest.

(irl sausage would pick a lion as well.)

"look, that's magic! there's a lore with that" - sausage about a floating vine

there's a cat that's been hanging around ever since he settled in Sanctuary and that cat may be important to the story. (it's an ocelot)

ppl are reporting on jimmy stealing the dragon egg on the hardcore server, and he's like, i'm on Empires I can't go over there and kill him now!

("oh my mouth hole got moistened")

(I am not writing out your fanfics Sausage. Except for summarising them for this post)

the song from Afterlife where Vampire Scott killed Angel Sausage. He came back as the evil wither man. But in order to do that, he had to have the blood sucked from him.

who buried Angel Sausage? Was it Scott? bc he felt bad for killing him? Maybe Oli. Probably Oli. Or Scott. Let's say it was Oli bc it makes sense in lore. After he killed him, he came back to finish the job and suck him dry, and then Oli buried him in the grave. Then he came back as an evil wither man.

then Oli came back and sang him a song while Sausage shot himself into the sun

will it be real lore or fanfiction for evil sausage? we'll have to find out

technically, you know how this area [Sanctuary] is Latin-inspired? For all the ppl who watched Afterlife, what was the first angel Sausage build style? It was Spanish-inspired. A Spanish hacienda. How odd that he would have picked that build style to start out his life as angel Sausage. Hinting that that is the style he wanted to do after coming back from the Afterlife and Pearl sent him down. And what is the first style he did after coming back from the Afterlife? Spanish. Latin. Columbian. Lorelorelorelorelore.

from the beginning he wanted Afterlife to be connected to Empires s2 and his afterlife after s1.

"we've had a lot of lore drops today" looks at my 2.8k words of lore notes that isn't even finished yet yeah just a lil bit o.o

(and now Sausage's new ep has gone up, and I will Not watch it until I'm done with this stream)

(~30 mins to go)

("Oh it's 5am for you? I'm sorry. Have you tried not living in the weirdest time zone?" cries in GMT+8, the Worst time zone ;_; this was not about my time zone I don't think bc I don't have chat on when watching yt streams/vods bc it moves too fast but I felt that so hard)

evil sausage lore/fanfic tiem!

is this actual lore or am i telling you now a fanfiction about evil sausage in another realm? will i say if it's real or not? we'll see what happens.

this is called 'the story of evil sausage a.k.a sausage supreme a.k.a the bratwurst man a.ka. that boi thicc but he evil a.k.a who hurt you?'

back when he was sent back to another realm. he's pure evil. upset. angry over time. after swallowing xornoth and getting all the power that he possessed, he became stronger. still trapped in a pocket dimension. he went to every empire in search of clues to find a way out. days passed, months passed, years passed. his powers only grew as he found many old tomes in old libraries. he needed an outlet to use those powers. blood sheep were still around. but blood sheep weren't the only night creatures out at that time. other creatures too from other realms. every one he found he devoured to get stronger. back then, every single life was sucked away, never to be seen again.

(cue Oli gatecrashing)

the evil bratwurst man couldn't hold it in any longer.

(oli has muted a tab with the stream open and doesn't realise it for a hot minute)

"I'm doing fanfiction lore of my evil self!"

the evil version of me actually did escape one time. how did he do it? he did it by accident. he decided to sacrifice himself like sausage did through the summoning circle. why? bc he couldn't take it anymore. he was done being all alone in a pocket universe and wanted to end his life. so he did it in the summoning circle. where did he end up? in the council with the other bubbles. they didn't know what was happening, freaked out, what's he doing here in the spirit realm? every other bubbles wanted to banish him. but one wanted to give him another chance. so she sent him somewhere else. he left that pocket universe. was it the grey collared bubbles? maybe it was. well, if you're going to let him loose, you have to watch him. so that's why whenever you see him, you also see her. could this be lore? could this be real? or could this be fanfiction? whenever we travelled to see him, all of mythland wasn't destroyed. why would that specific mythland we saw in perfect condition? also wonders what's stopping him from sacrificing himself again and travelling here? idk what is stopping him. is it the bubbles? is he only trapped in that dimension? he's no longer in the pocket universe. the man is on his own. only that bubbles is there to stop him. if anything were to happen to that bubbles, who knows where he could go? she's the meanest bubbles. she's the bubbles that likes to hurt ppl. if something ever happened to that bubbles, or if sausage went there and they joined together, there's many ways he could escape, but he's in his own timeline in mythland. apparently one that there's no one there to stop him. probably why we saw Wither Rose Alliance heads in the dark tower bc maybe he murdered everyone. Is this real lore and canon? Or is this fanfiction? who knows? could be either one! :D

how could be still be alive after 1000 years?

what if he's not in the future, but it's still just the past for him?

never said his timeline matches his own.

can only travel to dimensions he knows.

time has passed but not that long.

if evil sausage joined with sausage would he become his ultimate self? who knows?

some nice juicy lore, or was it fanfiction? :D?

sausage refusing to clarify whether this is lore or not, which makes me feel like It's Definitely Lore bc he was Very Clear about clarifying the fanfic earlier.

(well done, 3.5k words of lore notes, ty sausage DX)

(sausage just wants to eat his bagel and ppl keep becoming members lmao)

And we're done.

collapses

goes to watch Sausage's new ep and then go to bed

[ace-charlie-kelly]

MAC

sexuality hc: gay for free

gender hc: cis

a ship: doievenhavetosayit 2 electric boogaloo

a brotp: i already went into this in the charlie ask so no surprise when i say mac and charlie. they’re probably my favorite dynamic in the gang.

a notp: romantic ch*rmac and m*cdee

random hc: despite the notps i just mentioned i hc that charlie was mac’s first (and maybe second and third) kiss with a boy and dee was his first (and maybe second and third) kiss with a girl. everyone else in the gang lowkey knows about charlie and mac’s kiss(es), but mac and dee never told a soul about theirs and never will.

general opinion: okay i actually do have SOMETHING TO SAY here. mac as a character has been hurt the most by rcg, etc.’s carelessness with the gang from a writing standpoint the past few seasons. ever since hohc his character has very much been reduced to “the gay one” and he’s in a way become more of an outcast to the gang than dee is. and the weird, unexplained change in the gang’s dynamics -- namely mac, charlie, and dennis seemingly no longer being good friends or actually liking each other as well as the “we hate mac” sentiment -- ever since about mid season 12 seems too coincidental to NOT be directly related to mac now being out of the closet and that taking over his entire personality. so to answer this part of the ask meme, i LOVE mac as a character and would even say he might be my favorite character in the gang. but these past few seasons the writers have done him a real disservice by making him so one-dimensional in his motivations and the gang’s interactions with him so OOC, so i'm crossing my fingers for a change in s15 and beyond.

[catchmewiddershins]

Hi🥺

if it's too much trouble, could I request a pt. 3 of the ‘overhearing their crush talking about them’ with oikawa, akaashi and yamaguchi?

Thanks in advance and have a nice day!💕

Haikyuu Characters Overhearing their crush talking about them - pt 3:

Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi and Yamaguchi! 💖 SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 🥺 I’m so glad you asked bcs I needed a reason to write a third part hehe

Oikawa:

He could barely keep his eyes open. Contrary to popular belief, Oikawa wasn’t a monster, he couldn’t keep pushing and pushing and never feel the consequences. Interhigh was approaching again and he was desperate to win, desperate to see the national court just one time before he left high school, desperate to prove that all of the blood, sweat and tears that he had poured into this sport wasn’t futile. So he’d stayed awake, he trained until late at night and woke before the crack of dawn to practice. And now he was feeling the toll, incapable of focusing on the words of the teacher at the front of the class, he let his mind drift, getting shocked out of his skin when the bell rang for lunch.

Floating down the corridors, he almost fell asleep standing up until he walked into a door frame. Then, as he rounded the corner he heard your voice. Oikawa had been harbouring feelings for you for a while now, ever since you’d been kind to him outside of the usual fangirl devotion - you’d helped him hide from a few of them while he was late for practice, and he’d been trying to work up the courage to confess to you. He was just... worried that you’d assume he was asking in a playboy manner, rather than from sincere feelings. Suddenly, he paused, having heard his name in passing from your conversation.

“Why do you want to go to a volleyball match? Like at interhigh?”

“Because Oikawa’s playing and I wanted to cheer him on!” There you were, you sounded so cheerful, it made his heart flutter and heat sprang to his face.

“Isn’t he that guy who’s really pretty? I hear that tons of people are swooning over him, you’ll have a lot of competition if you wanna blend in.”

“I mean yeah... he’s pretty but that’s not why I like him!”

“What, you’re different from the rest? Why do you like him then, if not his looks? They seem to be the only thing of his that are of note.”

His heart sank a little, there it was again, that focus. His hair, his eyes, his face, people complimented him on them left and right and it made him wonder if that was all he was worth - is that all he is? Just a pretty-boy athlete?

You sounded... indignant?

“I like him because of his skills, for one! Have you seen his serve? That thing looks as if it could turn my face into a pancake! And besides that, he’s such a great leader! His team clearly flourishes with him as captain, I saw one match where he couldn’t make it and they were only working at 3/4 max of the potential that Oikawa is able to draw out of them - it’s incredible! I worked on a project with him once and he was both in charge and so considerate! He’s more than his face, you know.” Your hands moved passionately and he could imagine the sparkles in your eyes as you talked, the way you occasionally did about your favourite media or facts.

He was in deep, and your rant at your friend gave him the nudge he needed to confess immediately... or maybe at interhigh.

Akaashi:

He nodded as you spoke, having been asked to help tutor you for the upcoming exam, as you had a few things that you were stuck on. He’d accepted immediately, since he was absolutely smitten with you. Nobody had been told about this, not even Bokuto, because he would tease Akaashi to kingdom come if he found out - or he’d try to set you up, which would be even worse. Gently correcting a mistake you’d made in your work, he took the time to appreciate being so close to you. Akaashi loved to spend time with you, since you’d become tentative friends due to sitting adjacent to each other in Biology, and since you occasionally came to his matches, but only when you had the time.

There was a slight noise as his phone buzzed in his pocket, and, taking it out, he saw a text from Bokuto, saying that he’d forgotten where the bibs for practice were stored and that he was outside the classroom so that Akaashi could point him in the right direction. Stepping outside with a sigh, he showed Bokuto which way the storage cupboard was, and gave him very clear directions on how to get back to the gym from there, along with another, not really that sincere, apology for having to miss practice to tutor you. However, just before he opened the door again to the spare classroom that you were working in, his ears picked up the sound of your voice, on the phone to one of your friends.

“Yes I am getting tutored by Akaashi!” His curiosity was piqued, was your friend interested in him or something? He couldn’t hear the sound from your phone speaker, but your response sent sparks through him.

“No, of course I haven’t confessed to him - It’s not like he likes me back! Besides, we are actually supposed to be working!”

“...”

“Yes, I’m sure I like him! He’s so considerate, and he explains things really well, and he always knows how to help, and he’s gorgeous.”

Oh. Oh Oh Oh! You liked him! He couldn’t stop the beaming smile that shone across his face as your conversation with your friend trailed off, leaning against the wall outside and trying to quell the ache in his cheeks that came with such a wide, lovestruck grin. His ears were pink and his eyes sparkled, and if anyone had walked past him at that moment, they’d say that he’d never looked more alive.

He walked into the classroom, glowing, and sat back down next to you before clearing his throat. He could see redness in your face as well, and mustered all his courage to do what he’d been wanting to for a while.

“Hey... I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you today and... I was wondering if... you’d maybe like to go out with me sometime?” 

Your resounding yes made this the best day ever.

Yamaguchi:

It was a Saturday, sunny, warm, and boring. Yamaguchi had decided to try and pass the time by going for a quick stroll down to his favourite café, passing through a lovely green park on the way, where he walked around, looking at the different species of flower, and the fish in the ponds, throwing a few crumbs of bread to them as he passed. To be honest, the only way for the day to be more perfect would have been a backing soundtrack, then it would have felt like something directly out of a feel-good film. 

Coming to a new street, he wandered past a few shops, until he came to where he’d been meaning to come. The sweets sold here were the best, and getting one, plus a lemonade, to take away while he walked was just an extremely relaxing thing to do. He was planning to go and read a book in the park, to soak up some of the sunlight and enjoy the lovely afternoon.

The bell tinkled as he pushed open the door, and his nose was caressed by the smell of baking bread and sugar. However, as he approached the front to order, he spotted you and a couple of your friends sitting in the corner, near the window, all of you nursing some cold drinks and chatting with one another. His heart jumped into his throat, the sound of it pounding in his ears. The lady at the countertop, who had got to know Yamaguchi relatively well, since he came here so often, leaned over and grinned at him.

“Do you know them?” She asked, a twinkle in her eyes. At his nod, she giggled and said to him, “Whichever of them you like, you should say so! I bet they’d say yes!”

He thanked her, quietly, and smiled, knowing that she only meant well, and waited at the side of the counter for his order to be ready. As he waited, your voice drifted over to him from your seat at the window.

“So, do you like anyone?” One of your friends said with a laugh, you appeared to be having one of those lighthearted discussions that good friends sometimes have about such things.

A blush sprang to your face, and you brought a hand to your eyes, “...Maybe...” Leaning forwards, your friend gestured for you to continue. You sunk further into your chair in embarrassment.

“Ok... so you know... Yamaguchi?”

“Yamaguchi?” Your friend replied excitedly.

“Yeah,” smiling, your gaze drifted a little, as if you were lost in thought. “He’s just the sweetest, honestly, so supportive and kind, he helped me out after I tripped over the other day, and, when I missed one of the maths lessons, he talked me through the material... he’s lovely...”

Grinning, your friend patted your hand, relaxing back into their chair, “Well, he’s definitely not the worst person for you to be crushing on, you’ll need to drop some hints though... want a hand?”

“Stop it!” You whined, bringing your hands up again to cover your tomato-red face as your friend laughed.

Yamaguchi left the café with three things, a pastry, a lemonade, and the resolve to ask you out the next time he saw you. He practically skipped down the lane as he went back to the park, joy filling his heart.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

[moonlightjeno]

ok but moots assigned to fanfiction tropes!!

ahh omg dear anon thank you so much for sending this in !! I’ve been wanting to do this lol.

I feel like this might be a tad long so it shall be under the cut <3 also not @ me realizing most of my moots ult jeno asdf.

alesha [ @sungiescorner ] |

hmmmm. my first thought was college jeno au buT idk why I’m getting grease vibes. SO HYUNJAE GREASE VIBES. Like the whole 90’s (is grease set in the 90’s idk lmao) vibe with retro. basically your it’s grease but the roles are reversed !! Instead of the Alesha being the exchange student hyunjae is bc hyunjae is a soft bean. And you’re part of the schools like higher socitey thing (this is making no sense yay). But basically you’re part of the more rebellious group of the school and then you had a summer fling with hyunjae, until he appears at your school the first day. And chaos unfolds. And just bc I think tutor au’s are cute af hyunjae needs help w math and low and behold you are there to help him :)

mother in law [ @danishmiilk ] |

hehhehe. Obv we gotta go with do young your husband, and lemme tell you all we talk about is blowing up buildings. So doyoung mafia au !! Basically dy is the brains of most of the operations and one day while planning for idk blow up an sm building (we’ve had lengthy convos about this lmao) que you. who is just a genius at setting up bombs, from there sparks fly and you two become a dynamic duo (chemistry puns anyone??).

kathy [ @flirtyhyuck ] |

kathy my bb. Due to your current theme and bc I’m always down for sum badboy college au :) I wanna say a bad boy hyuck au? But in a college setting. you two first meet by accident bc your friend is in a frat and you had to be part of a project together so you walk over to the dreams frat house only for hyuck to answer the door. Now batboy hyuck tends to not be caught off guard but it’s you the person he’s been secretly pinning for most of the year so he kinda panics and gets really red. No worries chenle is there to tease him. But you still have to get your project done (little do you know this is all part of mark, jeno and renjuns plan tp get haechan to finally talk to you). So you end up waiting at their house bc rennin is supposed to be there in like ten minute, boy doesn’t show up. bUT you just spend time with hyuck and he asks you out by the end of it. This got long :)

bean ree [ @rouiyan ] |

Ree, my sweet bean !! My first thought when it comes to you is college au’s lol because you so good and amazing at writing them !! buT we WERE TALkINg ABOUT ROYALTY AU’S !! So royalty au w jeno omg. okie dokey, so you are both royals kinda. it’s a little bit enemies to lovers au whereas the second oldest (brother being first) you aren’t allowed to reign so bc of tradition (bad tradition) you have to marry into royalty of sorts. introducing lee jeno son of the lee’s who though not the strongest country are known for their activities and just tourism because their country is beautiful. you are shipped off to nct country to spend some time with your future husband. Now you don’t really hate jeno but you hate the idea of being shipped off to marry hence those feelings causing hate and aggressions towards jeno who is just like trynna be a nice and understanding bean (like he doesn’t want this either, and he’d just broken up with his s/o ). Fast forward three months and you slowly come accustomed to the place, learning about its government, and jeno begins to also warm up to you. Though you still don’t talk too much it gets better and you bond over the internal struggles that both of you have and slowly start to develop feelings for each other. but you still wanna have a say so your families agree that you won’t just be married but that you’d have power in both kingdoms kinda like an ambassador and im gonna stop here bc this is very long im soRRY.

sunny [ @neocitybynight ] |

bc blonde hair jeno with an undercut made a cb for a solid day, it’s blonde jeno time. i think we’ve talked before how much we both love idol au! so you’re both part of sm, different groups but the company (look at it have one good idea (o_O) and has you and jeno collab for a rap duet (?). it’s the first time you’ve met each other, but like things just kinda click. sunny is like such a hard-working person and I feel like jeno too their both super determined so they’d get all their work done pretty quickly and then just kinda hang and talk about everything and anything. imma stop here or idk where this will go lol.

mylin [ @starlit-jeno ] |

mylin !! my queen !! Ik your in hibernation rn so pls remain in hibernation !! Base off that a cute lil just stay at home date with jeno or mingi idk either one you choose lmao. But just a super laidback like put on random movies that you talk over occasionally and make fun off but also kinda enjoy them bc even though their bad their also fun to watch and entratinging :) w lots of cuddles and hugs and random forehead kisses.

furou [ @astroboy-lele ] |

Now I’m basing this off your username and the fact that we talked about among us lmao. Less go. So space au! With chenle !! For some reason (idk why just go along with it) there have been people dying in the spaceship. So the space ship crew the adults decided to make an investigation but don’t include anyone that aren’t “adults” but chenle isn’t having it as one of the people who died was his cousin. Now you two have best friends for a really long time so naturally you support him. So you two along with bb jisung who dragged along much to his protest of this being too scary for him and because he knew that chenle was in love with you so no way was chenle letting him out of his sight. Lets just say romance blooms along the crime investigation.

cherries [ @riothae ] |

Janna likes to hurt me w jeno but I don’t blame her bc has been just ok. anyways, sports au with jeno !! im thinking dancer au !! You guys have an assignment for your choreo class and are assigned partners that specialize in a diff style than you do. Jeno gets high key nervous and stressed af bc a. He’s an introvert and is awkward around new people and b. Kinda has a small crush on you, well on your style of dancing :) so you two are paired up, lets say your majoring in contemporary/modern dance and he’s specializing in acro and hip-hop. overall it’s just a cute lil thing and because the project is a whole trimester long ( so like 3 months ) you guys get pretty close and right as you end your performance on the day you do it on front on the whole school the ending is like a twirl type thing, and umm he leans in or you lean it and boom.

elle [ @joh--pping ] |  

Elle !! She’s the sweetest angel ever !! So it only makes sense  for a Johnny holiday au !! it’s an established relationship and basically just a fluff of you two setting up decorations for the holidays, (idk if you celebrate xmas so ahh sorry) but like putting up a tree and lights, getting hot chocolate jamming out to xmas music. I can see Johnny trying to get you to slow dance like even during a hype xmas song and it being very cute and intimate only for him to just start like jumping up and down right before you kiss. Anyways it would be filled with cuteness and fluff and stolen kisses and occasionally taking care of mark or jae.

[legacysam]

It’s a day late for the fic challenge with @fieryfurniss, but it’s almost 3k instead of like... 500 so I think I’m okay with that. Completely unedited bc I am TIRED and I want to at least draft today’s fic before bed so I’m not TOO far behind. Anyway I have feelings about season 4 Martin, enjoy:

[SOUND OF SHUFFLING PAPERS]

MARTIN

Oh. Oh, hello. Suppose you’re all ready, aren’t you? Do you... I mean, we’re going to record the statements, it’s kind of what we do around here. You don’t have to keep turning up all spooky-like and turning yourselves on, we aren’t that bad at our jobs. I mean, not that performance reviews are... standard here, but still.

Do you just, do you enjoy it? Do you... I dunno, feed on this stuff? Eventually going to evolve into a, a boombox or something, like a tape recorder pokemon?

No. No, I suppose not. Probably for the best. Only just starting to get used to you at this size...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Alright, so. Martin Blackwood, assistant to Peter Lukas, Head of the Magnus Institute, recording statement #0070105. Statement of Marina Adamos, given first of May, 2007.

Statement begins.

MARTIN (STATEMENT)

It started in January, right after I got back from my parents’. Or, maybe a week or so after. Came back right after Christmas, it was just too much in that awful little house will the whole family there, all the nieces and nephews and my gran going on about why didn’t I have kids yet, all those people and since I’m the single one, I got the couch for the duration, might as well have booked a hotel really. In any case, got through the holiday, answered all the usual questions, took the dog for a lot of long walks, and got out of there as soon as I decently could.

I don’t mean to sound awful, I love my family, I do. I just get used to the quiet here, in my own place, and when we’re all together it’s a bit... overwhelming.

In any case, I was back in Exeter, getting good and settled in for the rest of winter. I’ve been writing my doctoral thesis, and I’d been at it for... god, must be four years now, four and a half maybe? And I finally got a grant to just sit down and write for a year. No teaching, no committees, just me and the thesis and field trips to a few of my favorite archives. Not this one, sorry. Don’t think I’d even heard of this one until last week.

Anyway, I suppose there was part of me that... I don’t know, maybe missed home? Had some lingering feelings about home, anyway, made my flat seem too empty to get proper work done, and I thought a change of scene might be helpful to get my gears going again after the break. There’s a cafe on the corner across from my flat, one of those that’s coffee during the day and wine and beer at night, can’t miss a chance at getting all the university students in for their various vices. Vices including poetry, apparently.

I didn’t know it was an open mic, obviously, or I never would have stepped foot in the place. Awful tradition, listening to nineteen-year-olds go on about being hopelessly in love as if anybody you date at that age is some grand romance. I almost preferred the angry feminist ones about getting felt up on the tube. I’d already dragged my notebooks over there, though, and in fairness the wine was really good, so I stayed. I had a table at the side, well out of mic-range, and once I got started working I could tune it out alright. I think the only thing that interrupted me was somebody asking if they could take one of the chairs from my table, which was great, actually. Kept anybody from being tempted to join me.

It was maybe an hour or two later that one of the readers got my attention. I still can’t figure out why. He was nothing special, just some nervous, chubby lad whose friends must’ve had to shove him up onstage, because he looked absolutely mortified being there. Though thinking back, I don’t remember seeing anybody he seemed to be with. Nobody cheering him on or anything. Dunno, maybe he was just braver than he looked.

I don’t remember much about the poem he read. It was long, I know that. But there was a bit in there that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. I don’t think I can forget it. He wasn’t looking at me when he read it, but it felt like he was standing at my table reading directly at me, like there was nobody else in the room, and not in a romantic way. In a really scary way, like when you accidentally make eye contact with somebody who’s been staring at you. But he was just looking at his notebook, and he said, “the winter snow that falls at night will cover us in purest white. The sun that comes at break of day will melt the snow and us away.”

It was spooky, I don’t think it fit with the rest of the poem, but I don’t remember any of that. Just those lines. I’m not a nervous sort of person, but I didn’t want to hear anymore, I just got up and left. I sat on my couch the rest of the night watching outside, waiting to see if it snowed. I don’t... I don’t remember seeing the guy leave the cafe, though. I don’t remember seeing anybody leave, but I must have fallen asleep at some point, so maybe that’s why.

I knew I’d been asleep because when I looked outside again, there was snow on the ground. A lot of it, and it was still snowing hard, and all I could think was “the winter snow that falls at night...” I could have strangled the guy, to be honest. Maybe if I’d seen him again I would have, or at least given him a piece of my mind about his creepy poetry.

Anyway I don’t know if it was his fault, what happened. Maybe it was all in my head from the start. That’s what anybody I tell seems to think, anyway. “Oh, poor Marina, the thesis pressure got to her. Such a shame.” Maybe it’s better if they think that.

I didn’t... I didn’t go out again until late the next day. It never got properly light, anyway, just that sort of glowy grey you get when street lights bounce off the snow and clouds. I stayed in and tried to work. It was... maybe 3 or 4 in the afternoon before I checked my phone. It was weird, normally I got loads of texts and things from my parents after I left from a visit, like they were trying to make it longer, you know? But I hadn’t gotten any. No missed calls, either. Everything was just... quiet. It didn’t worry me, I just figured with the snow people were taking a day off and curling up on the couch and not doing anything. I certainly wasn’t, kept reading the same passages over and over. That damn poem kept getting tangled up in them, I’d try to copy something out and find myself writing about snow and people melting.

Late in the afternoon I decided to go for a walk. Quit being a chicken about it and go out in the snow, see everything was normal and all that. And it was. I walked by houses and saw the lights on in the windows, shops were open with people behind the counters, just nobody shopping, really. It looked like I was the only one out, but that’s fair enough in a snowstorm, isn’t it?

So I went home and watched some reality cooking show until I fell asleep.

It was... different when I woke up. Still no messages on my phone. I was starting to think there was something wrong with it, so I opened up my contacts to call somebody and test it and... there was nothing. No contacts. No old messages. Just like as if the phone was brand new. I still know my dad’s number, of course, so I punched it in to call him but it just rang and rang, never went to voicemail. Mum’s too. It had to be broken, right? Factory reset or something, took it back to before it was programmed to make calls properly maybe? I told myself that anyway, though saying it now it sounds stupid.

I put the phone in my pocket and went to look out the window and... the snow was gone. I don’t mean it was melting, I mean it was sunny out and the street was dry. The sidewalks were dry. There wasn’t even any of that grey-yellow slush in the grass by the road, nothing. Like there hadn’t been any snow or rain or anything in days. And there was nobody out.

I told you, I don’t spook easily, I’m not nervous, but I was getting nervous then. Just a low level sort of adrenaline, I was not panicking, I was just... everything was weird and I still had that poem stuck in my head, and I wanted to make sure it was all just some fucked up coincidence, you know?

So I went to the cafe. It was the only thing I could think to do. I think I told myself I was going to borrow their phone, but I don’t think that was really the plan. I think I was looking for... evidence. Evidence of something.

There was nobody in the streets. Nobody. Not in cars, nobody in their yards. I couldn’t even see anyone through the windows. It was like everyone had left without me. Even the cafe, which should have been packed on a day like that, there was nobody. The door was unlocked and the lights were on, but I couldn’t find a single person. I tried to call my parents again. No answer.

I did find the open mic sign up from that night, though. They kept those in a binder by the register. I didn’t recognize any of the names, but I kept it anyway. You can have it, it just spooks me carrying it around, but I couldn’t think what else to do with it.

I don’t... I’m not sure I can properly explain how I felt in that moment. I stole a scone. Didn’t even think twice, just took it out of the case. Definitely tasted like it had been in there more than a day, but it didn’t really register with me. I sat in the window like that for ages, watching the street, just cold. I was thinking about how big whatever this was might be. Was I the only person left in Exeter? In Devon? Was it bigger than that? Had I missed an evacuation notice, was there some natural disaster coming? I’m not religious, but I had a school friend who was, and I wondered if maybe I was the only one terrible enough to be given a miss at the rapture. I was desperate to find something, some explanation, something sensible that would put the world back on track.

That was when I noticed the water in the street. Just a bit at the edge where something hadn’t drained properly, and it looked like it was moving. I went out to see, and it... Listen this is going to sound mad, and I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to take my word for it that it’s true. It was... there were hands in the water. I don’t mean like physical hands, I mean it was as if people were standing over the water waving at it, and it just made waves of reflections of hands. It wasn’t trees, or clouds, or me, it was in the water. That was when I started to run.

I was in and out of shops, went in and out of people’s houses, through yards, everywhere I could think where people should be. I went to the university and opened every office and classroom door in the Washington Singer building. My advisor’s desk had a cup of tea on it, like she’d just stepped out, but it was stone cold and there was a ring above the tea like it had been sat there a while. She practically lives in that office. Something about that, that damn cup of tea, that broke me a little.

I didn’t know where to go. I sat on the steps outside and just watched the empty world. There were birds and things just like there always were, but there was no movement that could possibly be a person. No sound like a human voice. I think... I started to think about whether I ought to go home, barricade myself in and hope that people came back, or if it would be better to go looking. I didn’t have a car, but my landlady did. I knew where she kept her keys and everything. It wasn’t as if she was using it.

I laughed at that. I don’t know why, but I started laughing, sitting there all alone on campus, laughing at the idea of stealing my sweet old landlady’s car. I’d have to leave a note, I thought. She’d think she just forgot where she parked it and she’d go mad looking for it. If she came back. If that water...

I think I tried to ignore what I’d seen in the water, and the way the snow melted, and that damn poem. It was still in my mind, but I had closed off that part of it because it wasn’t helpful. It wasn’t helpful to think that maybe some stammering undergraduate with a terrible poem had somehow magicked the world into...whatever this was. I can’t remember how I locked it all away, but I remember walking down the street toward home just... muttering to myself. “No, no, no...” The kind of muttering that makes you look crazy to passersby. But of course there weren’t any. I could say whatever I liked and no one would know. I could stay in my flat for a week and no one would bother me to come out with them. I could ignore my phone and not miss any messages from my parents. They always worried if I took too long to answer them.

I yelled “FUCK” once, in the middle of one of the bigger intersections, just to see how loud I could be. It hurt my throat how loud I could scream.

I wonder if that was what did it, actually. Looking back, it was right after that that I saw the dog. I don’t know how that would make a difference, but it makes as much sense as anything. Just a glimpse, but I could see a tail and a trailing leash going around a corner a block away, and without thinking I started to follow.

I’d already done a lot of walking and running that day, but I think that was the fastest I’d ever gone in my life. All I could hear were my feet hitting the pavement, and then I started to hear the sound of tags on a collar. And then he was in sight, a big lab like my parents’, running full out, tail wagging like he was playing his favorite game. I didn’t think I could possibly catch him, but I kept going, because what choice did I have? I chased him through yards and parks and down empty streets, and when I finally got close enough, just as he was about to zig zag away again, I threw myself on the ground and got hold of the leash. I still have a scar from my elbow hitting the sidewalk.

It was... like when you unpause a movie and it’s not just that the world starts moving again, it’s like something that was just a picture becomes alive again. I heard a voice behind me, and a woman pulled up in a minivan thanking me for catching her dog, the kids were so upset when he got away from them. And then the kids were there, piling out of the van, and a lady came out of the house we were in front of and offered me a bandage for my arm. There was traffic again, I could hear music from a couple streets over. It was all back.

I didn’t go to the cafe again. I just... couldn’t. I couldn’t risk it. Whatever happened to me, wherever I was that day, I knew it all started there. I wasn’t going to give it a chance to get me again.

I don’t... I don’t know if this is helpful for you, I don’t really know what you do here aside from collect creepy stories, but I just. When I heard about you I felt like I should tell you my story, maybe get it off my hands. I’ve got things I want to do with my life, you know? Time to stop thinking about all this. Time to let it go.

Statement ends.

MARTIN

[LONG PAUSE]

The... the list from the cafe is here. It’s... I... yes. Yes, my name is on it and yes, I used to go read there, but this isn’t... I don’t recognize those lines, I didn’t write them. I didn’t... I wasn’t...

I think I need to talk to Peter about this. I don’t want to. If the Lonely was... I don’t think I want to know. I don’t want to have been... I dunno, destined for this. I don’t want any of it. I...

[DEEP BREATH]

I... I’ll ask Melanie if she can do the follow up on this one. I think she’ll understand.

End... end recording.

[ssadumba55]

Substitute (Klaus Baudelaire X Reader)

Request: Was wondering if you could do a fic where the reader is like really good at singing and Klaus hears her singing to herself when they're just hanging out. He asks her to sing a song that his mother used to (since she did opera) but when it doesn't sound the same or right cuz they have different voices, she gets upset and starts worrying that he only loved her because she reminded him of his mom. Happy ending though and maybe have her be short bc self-insert (sorry I'm 5'0) Thank you so much

There you go. One cute fluffy singing fic for you.  I hope this is good enough and you don’t mind that I didn’t include any exact songs. I wanted to leave it up to interpretation. Enjoy!

You tended to sing a lot, especially when you were concentrating. It was a strange habit you supposed you’d picked up from your mother who was a very musical person herself. Either way, it had never really been of much note to you.

Klaus, however, had never heard you sing. The two of you were seated in the orphan shack of Prufrock Prep, working on homework that was due the next day. When you’d asked where Sunny and Violet were, he’d said they’d went on a walk with Duncan and Isadora Quagmire. It would just be the two of you for a while.

Just as you were both settling into a rhythm, he heard a soft voice begin to sing an unfamiliar tone. At first he’d wondered if it was Isadora or Violet and the group had come back earlier than expected, but his sister didn’t sing like this mystery voice did. He had never heard Isadora sing so he doubted it was her either.

He looked up to ask you if you could hear it too, when he realized it was you. Your lips were barely moving and your voice was soft but he could still hear it, he still knew it was you.

He sucked in a breath slightly. It’d been a while since he’d heard someone close to him sing. Singing was such a wonderful talent he wished more people possessed.

You felt him staring and looked up, a worried look on your face. “Is something the matter? Was it my singing? I’m sorry, it just kind of happens when I’m focusing. I’ll stop if it bothers you..”

Klaus chuckled and shook his head. “No, it’s alright. I just… It’s been a while since I’ve heard someone sing…”

You tilted your head almost afraid to ask. But you did anyway. “How long?”

“Since my parents died.” He hung his head slightly, getting lost in his own thoughts for a moment. Your face felt hot and you felt a pit rise in your stomach. You hadn’t meant to remind him that he and his siblings were orphans.

His face suddenly cleared up at that moment, breaking into a smile.

“Maybe... “ He hesitated. “Maybe you could sing this song for me? It’s just… My mother used to sing it to all of us every night. It’s… I’d really like to hear it again.”

He began to hum the tune to a familiar lullaby and you smiled slightly.

“I… I could try. I don’t know if I’ll be any good though.”

You slowly began to sing the words to the song, trying to remember them exactly. It’d been a while since you yourself had heard the lullaby but you didn’t want to let Klaus down. This clearly meant a lot to him. As you sang, you watched him stare at you. He looked slightly disappointed but he didn’t tell you to stop.

You stopped abruptly. “I didn’t do it any justice did I?” You asked, upset with yourself. You had been trying to make him feel better but you’d only made him feel worse in the process. Your face burned slightly but Klaus shook his head.

“No… You did a great job. I guess I was just kind of disappointed it wasn’t my mom singing it, you know? Your voices are… Different.” He sighed and shook his head.

“It was silly of me even to bring it up. You’re your own person, of course. I shouldn’t have assumed it’d sound the same..” He could see the hurt and sadness in your eyes. He desperately wanted to make you feel better.

“Here. How about we ditch the homework and…” He stood, grinning and held out his hand for you. You looked at him, confused.

“Dance with me? We can create the music ourselves.” He offered and you smiled slightly. Even if the work was due tomorrow, it could wait. You took his hand and let him pull you up. He was definitely taller than you but you found it didn’t matter.

As you sang (and he joined in, slightly embarrassed and awkward), you couldn’t help but feel a little bit better.

You could never replace what Klaus had lost, but maybe, just maybe, you could be a decent substitute.

[la-paritalienne]

also reply to all the quetions.. 50k words for each one

vfghjklkgk this is quite demanding but quite funny and cute so. 

♡

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please! — mmm i feel like i’m at the gates of a new life bc i’m truly about to start looking for a job and i guess i’m like… nostalgic for something that i haven’t really left behind yet? i might have ups and downs but i love my life, being ‘free’ all day, talking to my friends, going to the gym whenever etc… it’s kind of scary that everything is about to change, i’ll have real responsibilities and a tight schedule and idk, it’s just going to be different and possibly how the rest of my life could look indefinitely. but i’m also also excited, and also very grateful for what i have, i’m having a very nice night and i love my friends 

cadmium yellow; when you think of the word “happy” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? — bits and pieces of my life. it’s small moments but they mean everything. being on the beach with no worries at all. going to the cinema with my brother to see the new star wars movie, how i’m always about to tear up as it starts. crying happy tears in the metro while going the gym. how i feel when i see my parents at the airport in rome and everything that might weighing me down

lemon; what’s your comfort food? — it has to include lots of melted cheese and possibly carbs, so either pizza or a grilled cheese sandwich basically, but also a parmigiana di melanzane wouldn’t be half bad 

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song? — idk if i believe in this concept, especially when it comes to songs… like music is supposed to be music and there’s no guilt in listening to like, ‘lighter’ stuff i guess? like i would say ‘what makes you beautiful’ but that pleasure is so not guilty… maybe atm i kinda feel like that with ‘dove e quando’ by benji e fede but like… it’s a jam so gjggkgkg ok this is a stupid reply, i’m sorry! 

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of! — mmmmm just discovered i’m not sure, but quite recently (beginning on this summer) this amazing artist named skott who also has a new song out these days (still need to listen to it) 

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home? — mm… a while ago i would have said here and only here in paris but tbh, my parents’ home in rome also always feels like home, although in a different way, as if i go back to being younger, a slightly different version of myself back there. so yeah, maybe paris would be the number one place, but where my family is, i feel at home, also at the seaside.

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? — myself, my mom, my dad and my brother 

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend. — i have a few very close friends and i love them all a looot, but i’ll choose one in particular for the purposes of this reply, sooo. ummm i love her so much and i want to be there for her no matter what, i think she’s super fun and we have great times together, but we also talk about serious stuff, she’s been there for me through a lot. she’s interesting and cute, but also quite a deep and complex person, which is something i really appreciate and find quite fascinating, like i love being around people like that, i love when they share thoughts / ideas / views of the world that i wouldn’t have come up with myself, i find it enriching. of course i wish she was always happy and serene and that’s not always the case, but who is? and i mean, she’s my friend, i just love the whole package. she is an amazing listener and for that i’ll never stop being grateful, gives amazing advice, has the best stories that often make me crack tf up, great taste in music and in general... and a lot more 

golden deep; what’s your favorite season? — i love summer, but i also like a chilly autumn, especially on a sunny day, with the wind kind of brisk… but not necessarily, rainy days are cool too and idk, autumn is underrated but i love it, i love how cosy it feels, how comforting it feels when the weather sucks and you don’t feel ‘guilty’ for lazying around the house, how sweating at the gym becomes more satisfactory, love layered clothes etc… yay 

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off? — go to the gym, make a meal for myself (i like making big salads with lots of different things in them, especially if some elements require cooking, it feels like a treat to me bc i normally don’t have the time / the energy for actual cooking), indulge in some dessert, a walk by myself or with some friend…

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad? — yes, my friends are quite dependable (hope this is the right word?), like maybe not all of them all the time, but there’s always someone willing to listen. + my brother

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? — why not both gkgkggkgk but i’m actually more productive in the morning and i don’t really mind starting my day as soon as i wake up, so i’ll go for evenings. 

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? — i replied to this one but not right now, the i-land was cool tho! 

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)? — i think i’m a mix of both in a way that like… i’m neither?? i try to be analytical but i’m too emotional and i guess i’m creative but i’m not truly an artist so i really don’t know, maybe from the outside someone could interpret me better? if i think about it, i think i manage to be quite analytical when it comes to others, but as far as i’m personally concerned, i live in fantasy, hypothesis, this sort of nostalgic and ‘artsy’ world of mine, maybe?

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? — nothing that comes to my mind like that, my favorite artists don’t exactly bring me peace, i like art that’s kind of exciting and often colorful (matisse, kandinsky, picasso, rothko) so i’m not sure, but my parents have the print of a beautiful gaugin painting in their room, and that’s always reminded me of home and calm and it’s also gorgeous, so i generally associate gauguin’s girls to this peaceful, blissful feeling.

english red; what animal do you relate to most? — a house cat. lazy but at times gets the urge to jump around and tire itself just so then they can lay on the sofa with more satisfaction. eating is what makes it get up 90 per cent of the time. cuddlier and more affectionate than it looks

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent? — mmmm i love a british accent but i also love lots of italian accents, especially on my friends, like if i associate it to them i like it even more.

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? — not really, i just want to be loved tbh. i mean of course there’s some personality traits that i always find attractive and i had a gym girl phase but i wouldn’t say i have a type, i’m open to anything 

scarlet; describe your current crush/es. — well she’s gorgeous, talented, an advocate for body positivity, an amazing singer, feminist icon, savvy businesswoman, looks good w any kind of hair, she’s richer than beyoncé and also nicer tbh... she has a makeup brand which i’m obsessed with, a lingerie brand, a (super expensive sadly) clothing brand... the most amazing eyes....... i love her 

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like? — mm nice dinner somewhere cosy and warm but not too noisy so we can talk, ideally there’s no awkward silences and we just talk about ourselves, find out we have some stuff in common, there’s laughter etc. nothing extra, just a nice night with someone i like 

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like? — like the first one but we know each other better so maybe something even chiller like a picnic or a dinner at home??

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date? — yeah i mean it depends on the mood, the chemistry, the connection etc. also like if it’s a date w someone i already knew then that’s more likely to happen, if it’s a date that kind of started off like a date... idk, not exactly blind but like we haven’t exactly been friends before, then maybe there’s some pressure and i’m not sure if that would happen, but i wouldn’t say no as a rule.

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now? — a friend of mine from the gym and her daughter (also a friend but i know the mom better) spontaneously offered to help me with my curriculum, to make it look prettier and more appealing. i mean it’s nothing huge and i could mention my friends or my family but i think it’s clear that i love them and that they’re a positive part of my life, so i thought i’d share this little bit of unexpected kindness that i’ve been receiving. 

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? — mahmood’s concert!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? — an airy, luminous apartment in paris, not necessarily huge but bigger than the one i have right now, neatly furnished w the kind of stuff i would reblog on tumblr bc it’s so aesthetic, lots of white, gold and pops of color like dusty pink, peach, yellow. ancient parquet, high ceilings, white walls but maybe not all of them... like some color could be nice but that will depend on how the house is structured. a fireplace w mirror above (classic parisian), huge windows, a balcony big enough for a table where i can have breakfast in the sun and a chaise where i can tan and relax, and a beautiful view. a fancy bathroom with beautiful tiles or a mosaic, a bath tub is mandatory. and i’d like a walk-in closet

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? — i think i’ve settled where i like, but who knows!

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down? — not exactly, like when i realized paris felt like home i thought ‘so maybe i have no idea what i want to do with my life, but at least i know where i wanna be’ so that’s it

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to? — probably tunisia, but i’ve recently been to normandy and i feel like i left a piece of my heart there, i feel like it’s going to be a special place for me, where i’ll go back often and make memories, if that makes sense

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it? — i think last night (when i started replying to this) simply because i was having fun w a friend. i’m not in a bad mood now but it’s like normal, plus i’m talking to my mom bc my grandma broke her foot so there’s stress in the air 

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember? — ooooh just last night i dreamed that i was babysitting the kids i used to babysit until last year, they had two houses and they were old enough to be alone in one of them as i cleaned the other, which i didn’t have to do tho bc the floor was already wet as if someone had just cleaned it, which made me happy! i then had to wash some dishes but the kids arrived and we started eating leftovers

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each? — (mom, dad, brother (2 years younger than me) and luna, fluffy, fat, adorably mean huge cat, she’s 15 but super healthy (except for neurotically licking her own belly so much that she has no hair there -.-), she’s our love) i had read what does your family look like gjgjgffjgfkgkgkgmfmgkk sorryyyy luckily i checked. well then in that case my wife, two kids (ideally the eldest is a girl and then a boy but like gender is a social construct you know) and definitely a cat or two 

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? — i do! no, i don’t think so. sometimes i think about how names are just names and like... we’re people beyond that but at the same time i feel like i am my name, you know? so i’m cool with it and i couldn’t see myself w another 

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent? — the one that comes out of bakeries, like fresh bread or cakes, so distinctive and warming... mlmlmlml

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any? — i love tea in general, but black rose & vanilla tea is my absolute fav

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant? — i don’t have a green thumb, i think, but peonies first of all 

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog? — probably, idk if i’d show my face bc i think i’d feel weird, but maybe after a while if i get comfortable? why not? you get a community who cares about you and most of all the chance to distract / entertain people and maybe even help them through hard times. ...and gifts djgjgkgkkgjk

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives. — gjgkhkhk a challenge but i appreciate it, i can’t be all words and no facts about body positivity. it’s minute, slightly curvy, decently toned, stronger than it looks, and it’s healthy 

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario? — i see a light blue sky, my feet sink in the grass but just a bit, the grass is not extremely high (otherwise i’d freak about there being insects that i can’t notice), on the horizon it looks like a pastel colored painting bc there’s flowers. i hear the birds singing and the sound of a light breeze

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better? — i can’t complain, but a job would be grand (i mean... i don’t really want to work and i don’t think that’s what makes you accomplished as a person, but it’s capitalism baby)

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them? — japan, mexico, tanzania. yes for the last one bc i know someone who’s just moved there and she invited me and my mom to go visit. 

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn? — italian bc i’m italian and french bc i live in france... sadly no others, but i want to. i’ve always wanted to learn arabic or japanese, but maybe i’ll start w something simpler and more similar to what i know already

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book? — i can’t choose one, i have too many that touched my life at the time i read them and made me go like wow, this is my fave. i’ll mention: the red and the black by stendhal, the enchanted mountain by thomas mann, persuasion by jane austen, the remains of the day and never let me go by ishiguro, the trilogy of the city of k by agota kristoff...

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far? — i’ll start a book called sorcières (witches) and i’m curious and excited about it, i’ll let you know

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh? — the holy trinity of my happy go to movies: monster in law, mean girls and the devil wears prada

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself? — going to the gym!

umber; have you drank enough water today? — the day has just started and i’ve had two cups of tea. i try to stick to 2lt per day, but i’ve not been able to do it recently, which i plan to change.

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent? — ghgkhkgkfkgk i thought for a second this was about a clothing store outlet. normally i try and talk it out w one of my friends, my mom or brother if it’s very serious or not something i wanna burden my friends with, but i also distract myself with some tv show or (yay capitalism -.-) retail therapy 

sepia; name five things that always make you happy. — a nice chat w a friend, an exhausting workout, finding (or being suggested) new music that i immediately feel myself getting obsessed with, saying yes to spontaneous, last minute plans and really enjoying myself although i often have that moment of ‘i don’t want to go’, being sent photos or memes 

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received? — probably something that ‘golden ochre’ said to me... but also something that really warms my heart is when my friend eleonora says that i’m the smartest person she knows and like... really means it. i don’t think she’s right, it’s not even about the compliment per se, but that’s she’s so serious when she says it, it makes me happy

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic? — light grey parisian skies, a pink sunrise over the sea, glittery makeup... glittery everything tbh, notebooks filled w memories - pressed flowers, cinema tickets, photos of places i loved... mermaids, fluffy cats, pastel colors, tiny gold jewelry, a decadent buffet, a bouquet of peonies, huge empty beaches, a walk-in closet filled with incredible clothes, lana del rey x vogue italia june 2019

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful! — fhgjgkgkg this is the most recent, closest thing i have to a selfie that’s not w some other people. it’s from pride and i was happy of my rainbow eye makeup but it doesn’t even show... sorryyyyy 

thank you for asking all of theseeee ♡

[storybook-n]

22 questions

Thank you so much for tagging me, @randomcreativitybursts, I’m excited!

Rules: simply answer the following 22 q’s and then tag 22 (or however many) people you’d love to get to know more!

Nickname/s: Anna, An (tho only one of my friends ever uses that one)

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: around 1.60m

Hogwarts House: Slytherin 

Last thing I googled: Coffee machines (bc my mum wants to buy a new one)

Favorite musician/s: Bastille (I still can’t believe I actually got to see them live??), Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy

Last movie I saw: Confessions of a Shopaholic

Song stuck in my head: The Greatest Show (P!ATD version, tho, bc I have yet to listen to the original one)

Following now: Harry Potter, Miraculous Ladybug

Following: 102, as of right now

Do I get asks: No, not really

Amount of sleep: During holidays probably around nine hours, during the semester more like, six hours

Lucky number: Maybe 11 or 33?

What I’m wearing: My pj’s, currently consisting of my graduation t-shirt from school and sweatpants

Dream job: Right now, I’m aspiring to be a (german and english) teacher, I suppose, but idk if I’ll go through with that seeing as I have a hard time talking to people - especially in front of people, ugh

Dream trip: I don’t have a dream trip per se, but I’d like to visit Spain, Thailand, Japan and New Zealand

Favourite food: Filipino food, especially lumpia and tocino

Instruments: Sadly, I don’t play any instruments, but I do like to sing

Languages: I’m fluent in both German and English, I know a little Spanish (but I understand more than I can speak bc I only took it in school for a few years) and a super little bit of Tagalog

Favourite song/s: I wouldn’t say it’s my all time favorite song, but I love Sum41′s “With me” a lot, I’ve been listening to this song for probably around a decade, lmao

Random fact: I’m half german and half filipina, but according to my mum I don’t really look like either, lmao. I work as a cashier in a supermarket and customers often mistake me as Turkish, sometimes as Spanish, but I also had people asking me if I’m part Native American or Lebanese (going back to school, it would also include Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese)

Aesthetic: sunny days, flowers, the sound of waves, starry nights, storms

tagging: I honestly don’t really know/interact with anyone here (mostly bc I’m way too nervous to do so), so these two are the only ones I’ll tag @adorbdumpling, @slytherthicc 

[sorrowscars]

how about Ruka for the heacanon meme ^^

                                           send me a character ! | accepting

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod: 

“Believe” by Cher is probably the most-played song on her iPod, she loves it unironically and with no shame at all and will sing it very noisily when she’s had too much to drink. Other songs on her iPod would include “Tomorrow Never Knows” by Mr. Children, “Automatic” by Hikaru Utada, and “Plastic Love” by Maria Takeuchi. Basically anything pre-1995 that’s over the top and emotional, she’ll love it. Bonus points for lots of synth.

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep – where they’re not supposed to:

The living room sofa. She’ll curl up to read and she’ll just pass the heck out. Asato will have to come along and drape a blanket over her, or just full on pick her up and carry her to her bedroom.

the game they'd destroy everyone else at:

I think she’s overall pretty shit at video games, but you bet your ass she’s competitive as hell when playing Wii sports. As for board games, she loves to play cards (and has an excellent poker face) and is pretty okay at Monopoly but only because Asato is so bad with money that she looks good in comparison.

the emoticon they’d use most often:

(*＾▽＾)／

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep:

Quietly irritable, easily frustrated, trying to find any excuse she can to lay down and fall asleep.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Herbal teas during cold evenings, coffee in the mornings.

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump:

She has a good hard cry, cleans herself up, and gets her brother to snuggle her on the couch while they curl up with a blanket and watch bad movies. If he’s not available, she’ll lay in the dark and listen to music until the feeling passes.

what they wanted to be when they grew up:

The plan her family had was always for her to be a housewife. She never wanted that for herself, but also couldn’t see any way out of it. She mostly just wanted a life independent of them, but only managed to get it through tragedy.

their favorite kind of weather:

Warm, sunny, right after rain. She likes to work in the garden and so prefers weather that would be pleasant to work in.

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?):

She cannot sing. It’s not super awful but it’s definitely not good. She doesn’t sing in front of anyone but her brother (bc he’s heard it a million times, she used to sing him to sleep when he was a small child) but she does sing in the shower and when she’s working with her hands (cooking or gardening). Ruka is an alto.

how/what they like to draw or doodle:

She’s actually not that bad an artist, if she just practiced and put the work in, but for now it’s all doodles in the corners of papers or on napkins, usually of plants and small animals. She can barely draw people and they’re often just kinda vague people-shapes with clothes.

[anneshirlei]

'Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Lydia is the Math teacher, obviously and Stiles is the english teacher

the students adore Stiles and teases him a lot because it’s super obvious he has a major crush on their math teacher

everytime she passes in front of his class, he stops talking for a solid minute and looks at her with the softest smile EVER

he then looks around and see the smiles faces on his student's face and just roll his eyes all red and continues his class

they’re a bit scared of Lydia

She’s a very strict teacher and hates when they mess around during her class

but she’s loved as well because she does her best to make sure everyone understand what she’s saying

she also has a major crush on Stiles

but of course no one notices

both of them are aware that the whole school ships them together but neither even mentioned to anyone or each other

the other teachers are also in this

they usually pair both of them to do teacher things together and that scares Lydia bc what if people know

Stiles is more mad about it bc he does a horrible job keeping his shit together

they actually work together pretty well

but anyways

with valentine’s day coming, some students ask Stiles about romeo and juliet

so he gives them a class about it bc he likes the play a lot

also is valentine’s day and everyone is a sucker for romeo and juliet

little does he know that’s a part of their students plan to get mr stilinski and miss martin together

like the whole school is into this

everyone but the principal

because is not allowed for two teachers to date

but getting to the point

Stiles is teaching it and someone suggest that for them to understand it better, he should do a dramatic reading

and Stiles is so up for this shit because dramatic reading is so his thing

(i mean one time he performed a very long scene of star wars to his father just for the hell of it)

(he was like 15)

(Stiles’ dad wonders where did he go wrong)

so they get Stiles to be romeo and do the balcony scene from a part of the school

and tell him that one of the girls is going to be up there so he doesn’t look stupid doing it to no one

but actually they put him under one of Lydia’s classes window without him knowing

(everybody tells him that the class is empty bc Ms. Martin is in the lab today)

so he starts to read (super loud) under her window and waiting for one of his students to show up

but actually Lydia appears in the widow and raises her eyebrows to him

and it’s sunny so he doesn’t figure it out it’s Lydia and not one of his students so he keeps going

and the student are like LOVING IT and some are filming it and the ones in Lydia’s class are just ‘wtf is happening’

Lydia is just amused

and his line is over and the student is suppose to read the next line

but instead of hearing the students voice, he hears Lydia’s

she says the next line

Stiles just freeze right there

he puts a hand in front of his face and see it’s her and he’s blushing so hard

and there’s a silence

and Stiles looks around and see those little shits just smirking at him

but he’s already embarrassed in front of everyone including Lydia, so what the hell, right?

Stiles continues to recite romeo’s line and Lydia now is his juliet

everyone stops to watch, even the other teachers

because they’re so fucking adorable

when it ends everybody is applauding and Stiles is SO EMBARRASSED

he nods and takes his students back to his class and just stares at them for like 10 minutes

Stiles avoids Lydia for the rest of the day just wanting to go home and spend the weekend hoping she’ll forget everything by monday

But as soon as he’s in the parking lot, she bumps into him

(totally by accident, i swear)

and they do the small talk

“your performance was very interesting”

“i swear i thought your class was empty, those little shits played a prank on me”

“that’s fine. i really enjoyed it”

and then Stiles starts apologizing for everything and that he would never ever trust the word of his students and she’s more than welcome to take one of his classes to continue the one he interrupted

but he stops talking as soon as Lydia asks him out for Valentine’s day

and he just stares

and she’s like “we’ll, I can’t kill myself for you without even having a dinner first, so…”

this is the worst joke ever but she’s nervous and Stiles is just staring at her

Stiles wants to say yes so bad and he’s just trying to contain his excitement but instead of agreeing, he says it’s forbidden

Lydia just smiles and winks at him

“Of course it is. That’s what makes Romeo and Juliet a great love story”

[adasnotesfromthefield]

Healing is Productive

I hate being sick. I’m not talking about, like, flu sick (though that is awful and I hate that, too, but that is different from what I am talking about). I hate being chronically ill, the kind of sickness where there is no end in sight, just good and bad days. More than I hate being sick, though, I hate being sick in a society that has taught me that: 1) I must always be productive; and 2) productivity has a very narrow definition that does not include prioritizing or taking care of yourself.

So today, as I was laying in bed, writhing in pain as I tried to find a comfortable position to try to fall asleep while my head was throbbing, my eyes ached, and the contents of my stomach threatened to come up, I decided I was going to make today “count.” I thought about all the things I was supposed to do today, all the things I could be doing instead of laying in bed, “doing nothing,” and I forced myself to run a (quick) errand outside, as well as to clean my kitchen. 

Forcing myself to do these two things had some consequences: 1) the sun from being outside (even if for less than 10 minutes) sent my head back into a pounding, throbbing, sore catastrophe; 2) I re-injured my wrist (an old injury I never got checked out...whoops) while scrubbing the stove, and; 3) I ended up back in bed, with pain literally tingling from my head to my fingertips and toes, for hours before being able to get up again. 

And, somewhere during this series of unfortunate events, I thought back on a post I wrote in undergrad about what it means to be productive, and how that very narrow definition of productivity needs to be expanded to make room for self care (you can read that post here). And I wish I had remembered that before I forced myself to do things I was not capable of doing in the name of being “productive.” 

In all honesty, “productivity” is such bullshit. The ableism that underlies the notion that each and every human being must, in some way, “contribute” to society in a visible and/or palpable way is so strong and so hidden, it’s really dangerous. It leads us (both chronically ill and not chronically ill people) to overwork ourselves and not prioritize our own health/well-being. 

It’s also a fallacy that, when you’re laying in bed, sick as a dog and not answering emails and/or going to work and/or cleaning, you’re “doing nothing.” When I had jaw surgery almost two years ago, I spent 30 days with my mouth wired shut. In those 30 days, I could count on two hands the number of times I “did something” and/or left my apartment. That recovery process drained me, though - I am talking, I was sleeping easily 12-16 hours a day for the first three weeks and was still so exhausted. I didn’t understand how I could be so tired when I was doing so little. 

It was during that time that I realized how much work it takes to heal. Your mind and body work so hard to heal themselves from whatever is going on - recovery from a surgery, the flu, whatever it is. That shit takes work. And it’s all invisible work and we don’t see the immediate results of that; it’s not like that feeling when you’re out all day and it’s really hot and sunny and you’re super dehydrated and you get home and down an entire bottle of water and then your body almost immediately feels this, like, flood of relief, and you’re more alert and your throat doesn’t feel so dry anymore and you can think more clearly. 

This kind of healing is different; it is gradual and internal and not so visible to the naked eye. It requires that we trust ourselves and our bodies and minds to know what’s best for them (a really hard thing to do when you’re disabled/chronically ill, but an important thing to work on), and it also requires that we fight back against societal notions of what it means to be “productive.” We have to be okay with not seeing the results of our healing immediately. In a culture of instant gratification, that can be really, really, hard, but it’s so important for us to recognize how hard our bodies and minds are working to get us back to where we need to be.

This gets harder when you’re chronically ill/disabled, because healing in that instance doesn’t have the same meaning as healing when it’s just the flu or even a surgery recovery. There is, in theory, a “light at the end of the tunnel” in those latter instances. You can say, I’ll be out of commission for the next few days/weeks, but I’ll be back at full swing soon thereafter. When you’re chronically ill, that doesn’t happen. Lots of times, you don’t get to know if/when you’ll ever be “back at full swing,” which makes giving yourself time and space to heal that much harder. You live with this mentality of, Well, I’m never gonna be at full speed, so I’m just gonna power through this because it’s not as bad as it could be. The line between “well enough to function,” and “need to dedicate time and space to heal,” is really, really blurred and often quite dynamic. But it’s also important that we work to figure that out, because we deserve all the time and space we need to heal in whatever ways we can. Just because we may need more time/space than our non-chronically ill/disabled peers, doesn’t mean our need and desire to heal is any less valid. 

So yeah, healing is productive, and hard. And I wish I had been more productive today in that sense than in the sense of feeling like I have to actively “do things” in order to make my time “count.” But here I am, at the end of a draining, migraine-filled day, writing a blog post in my very dark room, wondering why my laptop screen won’t get any dimmer, and I am making it my goal to work on healing. Writing this post (which has taken so long bc of frequent breaks bc screens are hard for migraines) is part of that healing for me, as I am able to put into words all my feelings of frustration and anger that I have felt today.

Thank you for reading (whether you have read this whole thing or just parts). To all my chronically ill/disabled friends: I wish you less pain, and I wish you more comfort and/or healing. 

Love,

Ada 

[vampire-core]

okay for the hcs thing: the dragonets of destiny, ruby and nan, all of the ib squad, and uhhhthe pmmm cast if u want?? :3c

NICE ty babe!!!!!!!!

send me a character and i’ll answer!

(note: im kin w glory, mary, madoka, sayaka, and mami so this might be a lot of kin-based shIT SDFHSDKLF)

CLAY

A: what I think realistically

he is Boft (buff and soft) and also Lorg and if u are his friend and cold just tell him and he will drape his fuckin wing around u and curl up with you. he has at least 3 dragons cuddling with him when he sleeps

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes super bad at predicting jokes so he’ll fuckin CRACK UP at the worst fuckin joke u tell. he’ll also eat ANYTHING on a dare. even dirt or a handful of pebbles, thanks GLORY

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

hes actually got mental health shit goin on (depression/anxiety/prob ptsd/prob a pd) but he thinks he Has to be strong for the other dragonets bc theyre all fucked right up and he needs to be the strong support so he feels like he really Cant let himself break down at all, and it causes a Lot of pent-up sadness/anxiety/etc which he has No way of getting out

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

clay is aro/ace and in a qpp with all the dragonets. let him be not het?

TSUNAMI

A: what I think realistically

tsunami is fuckening BUFF as HELL. like. she can kick ur ass ur friends ass ur moms ass her OWN ass she doesnt care shes SUPER buff she will kick everyone in the THROAT she is FIERCE and PROTECTIVE and STRONG

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when darkstalker first busted out of the mountain (like a nut) she straight-up decked him in the snout. just fucken. P U N C H

it hurt her claws and she almost cried but tried to play it off as “im crying out of my own coolness”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt like glory hates her bc of how snarky and rude they are and like?? they logically know they dont but like. what if and she cant just ask them bc thatd be rude and glory would probably make a joke out of it, so shes stuck believing one of her supposed best friends secretly hates her and she doesnt know how to deal

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AS HELL let tsunami be bi and trans and have a gf…….

GLORY

A: what I think realistically

theyre used to not eating a lot and kinda always being hungry bc yknow no sunlight in the caves but they assumed it was like? normal? and being in the sun was like……. holy shit im finally Full…….. and they dont actually eat a lot but when they do its usually fruits bc they dont actually like meat all that much

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they can do spot-on impressions of SO many dragons, including but not limited to: the guardians, the other dragonets, fatespeaker, queen coral, riptide, morrowseer, and probably more and they love being able to say “im a pretty princess” while sounding almost exactly like kestrel

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

theyre rlly rlly good at hiding bc they HAD to be when the guardians got Pissed, so now when anyone is Vaguely mad at them they manage to find a way to hide and its near-impossible to find them, which has pppprob scared the other dragonets mny times

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

glory is genderfluid and gay and whom the Fuck is deathbringer?

STARFLIGHT

A: what I think realistically

he has some p bad anxiety so his Counting/Observing Things thing is a comfort mechanism of sorts that hes always really done. in the caves all he had to observe was rocks, torches, and scrolls but once he got Out he had so much that it was overwhelming. hes rlly good at describing things in writing due to this

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes always been SUPER clumsy so now that hes blind hes kind of just. tripping on everything. he fell off the side of a cave once at the academy and screamed and waited for death until he remembered that he is a dragon who can fly

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

abt the observing thing: now that hes blind, he cant do that, and it was his main comfort mechanism. so now during anxiety attacks, he has a rlly hard time calming down bc he cant just start observing whats around him, it doesnt WORK like that

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

HES ARO AND GAY AND IN A QPP WITH FATESPEAKER AND ALSO THE DRAGONETS FUCK YOU

SUNNY

A: what I think realistically

she has adhd!!! she has adhd-ph so shes always fidgeting/bouncing around/flying to try and get her energy out. clay, tsunami, and glory also have adhd and try to help her out whenever they can!! she loves to bake, but it takes a LOT of waiting, so its kinda hard on her

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she can be REALLY FUCKING LOUD when she wants to be, which NOBODY expects. normally she uses it for singing, or to startle people. she likes to be Loud while imitating kestrel, marching around and looking all Serious

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt Really ignored and, esp for someone who pprob has dpd traits, its rlly heartbreaking bc like. she doesnt feel wanted and she doesnt feel like she gets any attention and shes just!!!!!!! aaaagh

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes aroace and in a qpp w fatespeaker heck you

RUBY

A: what I think realistically

she was prob legally blind but not Fully blind before the glen, but she was admitted bc her sight was getting progressively worse and she couldnt continue to be an electrician, her job

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

“hey tom remember that time i fucken stabbed u” “lol remember that time u pushed stitches off a balcony, killing him instantly”

“tom if u dont shut up this second about furries i will stab u again” “…….nya” “im gettin my fucken knife tom”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she lives w a lot of guilt over killing tom and regularly has nightmares abt it, and even tho he assures her everything is fine she still regrets it so much but doesnt know how to make it Right in her mind

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AND AGENDER AND HER TOM AND JAY ARE POLY

NAN

A: what I think realistically

shes always been Super chubby, and she generates a llot of heat both bc Fur and bc Chub, so when her friends get Cold all u have to do is snuggle up next to her and ur instantly rlly warm now

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

kim teaches her how to dab and calls it a symbol of respect, and so whenever nan meets someone she rlly respects she just dabs as kim cracks up

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she keeps a journal bc her memory is Shit but shes still constantly worried that shes writing it wrong, esp bc shes usually dissociating enough that she cant remember what happened, and sometimes its bad enough to warrent a breakdown/panic attack

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look shes aro/pan/genderfluid i dont make the rules. also shes autistic

IB

A: what I think realistically

they know a little bit of asl bc theyre mute, and they carry around a notebook to write in when they cant sign. bc of this, they have rlly good handwriting and are also p good at miming stuff when they need to

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they accidentally learned how to swear in asl, so whenever garry sees them doing so and doesnt know what it means (and then asks) he almost starts crying when they calmly show him the word “fuck” written in their notebook

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they have rlly bad nightmares and is ppprob misdiagnosed due to ppl thinking the gallery Wasnt Real, doesnt get proper help, and lives w guilt over what happened and has NO clue how to cope

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look. theyre nb and pan. im not saying this is a hc im saying this is canon. theyre not cishet

GARRY

A: what I think realistically

hes pprob around?? late 20s-early 30s, so its kiiiinda awkward maintaining contact w ib at first, but then he becomes a Family Friend and babysits so its all chill

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes PETRIFIED of spiders and the one time he tried to be brave and take one outside for ib he screamed, dropped it, and nearly cried.

ib is capable of disposing of spiders in the way garry prefers (domnt kill them) and does so calmly as garry sits on the counter and screams

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he feels rlly guilty after the gallery and has NO idea how to cope, so he ends up drinking a bbbbit too much and hes also not rlly able to help ib, which makes him MORE guilty, and its kinda just a spiral of depression

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans and also adopts ib and mary and theyre a happy family

MARY

A: what I think realistically

she has NO CLUE what most things taste like, but someone let her try a cherry cough drop once, and now she just rlly wants to eat that fake cherry flavor again

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she knows how to say various swear words and looked garry in the eyes and said “FUCK!!!” once and he nearly started sobbing on the spot

also she doesnt know much abt numbers and thinks that since shes 9 and garrys 20-30 and 2-3 are less than 9, shes older than him and In Charge

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she died in pain and thinking her only friend hated her, feeling deeply betrayed :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

GARRY ADOPTS HER AND IB AND THEYRE A FAMILY also shes a lesbian

MADOKA

A: what I think realistically

shes rlly good at drawin!!!! she doodles a lot in class to help her focus, plus she just rlly likes to draw, so she ends up bein rlly talented!!! she esp likes to draw her friends bc like. why not???

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

everyone expects her to be terrified of bugs and sayaka to be the brave one killing them when in reality its sayaka sprinting away as madoka calmly takes it outside and goes “dont worry its okay!!!!! :D”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels rlly inferior to everyone and, along with being shy, thinks shes honestly useless to a team. its not that she hates herself, its that she thinks shes rlly boring and doesnt have much going for her, and she has no clue how to help or communicate this

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

she and sayaka are DATING theyre GFS also madoka has dpd

SAYAKA

A: what I think realistically

shes mega bi. shes bi. she is just. bi. her first crush was wonder woman and she prob liked hitomi at one point. shes the one friend who gets crushes on EVERYONE, and i mean everyone

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when she gets bored, she makes up random stories in her head and narrates whats going on in the lives of passerby, and now she has a huge elaborate universe thats like a soap opera in her head. she has a theme song and everything

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has bpd but no clue what that IS or how to COPE, so being a magical girl was ppprob a rlly bad idea due to the lows bpd comes with, esp since she based her wish on a person/fp. so she was?? p much destined to fall into despair, even if it wasnt over kyousuke

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES!!!!!!! DATING!!!!!!!! MADOKA!!!!!!!

MAMI

A: what I think realistically

shes a rlly organized person so mess just Ticks her Off, and she spends most of her time just making sure everything is clean. its kinda a comfort mechanism at this point??? like it just makes her feel better

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

shes constantly trying 2 pick up on the current slang and be Cool w the Kiddos these days but shes always at least 3 steps behind

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has dpd but since she lost her parents and kyoko abandoned her, shes had nobody to depend on, which kinda sucks? bc like. shes constantly second-guessing herself and has no clue what shes doing and feels so alone

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes trans gay and dating kyoko

KYOKO

A: what I think realistically

shes SUPER good at sneaking around/stealing things and lvoes to startle/prank her friends w this bc like??? oh shit sayaka is ur phone missing who couldve took it, oh look madoka got a text from u wonder who sent it

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once ate an entire bowl of sugar on a dare from sayaka and got the WORST stomach ache for a day and half, but claimed it was worth it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always been rlly underweight and manages to steal food Sometimes, but has probably been caught and hurt for doing so

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

A LESBIAN DATING MAMI

HOMURA

A: what I think realistically

shes RLLY talented in a lot of areas due to the many timelines, but shes never rlly grasped the arts?? ie drawing, writing etc, and she has NO clue how madoka does it, what the hell

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

its RLLY hard to make her laugh but she can and WILL crack up if you look her in the eyes and say “egg”

on a similar, note, she once said “i want kyoko to vore me real good” completely straight-faced, deadpan

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has a LOT of trauma she could never rlly talk abt w anyone, esp a therapist, due to the timelines so shes rlly not coping at all in the slightest

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes GAY and prob dating hitomi

[fluffi]

so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

[reneehearts]

🌼🌿botanical asks🌻🌙

jasmine; what mythical creature do you wish actually existed? Unicorns or fairies

lavender; soundcloud or vinyls? Soundcloud

primrose; what book does everyone right now need to read? Gone Girl

lunar mist; do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? Depends on who it is

bird of paradise; what was the best thing that happened to you this month? I feel like a lot has happened this month I can’t pick one thing

gardenia; what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? Take chances

lion’s fairytale; would you rather be the sky, the ocean or the forests? Ocean

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes

marmalade skies; do you plan your outfits? For the most part, at least a general idea especially on weekdays

apricot drift; how do you feel right now? Tired, anxious,’excited, nervous

everlasting daisy; what’s the last dream you remember having? I can’t remember last nights but the night before that, I got in a huge fight with my best friend :(

queen’s cup; what are you craving right now? Something sweet

lavender dream; turn ons/offs? Turn one- great body, humor, kindness turn offs- not caring about health, thinking that things should be handed to you, obnoxiousness

water lilly; when was the last time you cried? why? Last weeeeek? Like Wednesday or Thursday

lily of the valley; did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? I really don’t even know who that is tbh

winterberry; do you bite or lick your ice cream? Lick or eat off spoon

honey perfume; favorite movie ever? Remember the Titans

desert rose; do you like yourself? Sometimes

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? Yes I met the Jonas brothers and pierce the Veil and kinda saw zac Enron

night owl; how many countries have you visited? 2 including the one I live in

heliotrope; have you ever been in a castle? Nope but I’m supposed to your one in April!

creams and sky; what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? Gotten very very very wasted almost BO drunk in NYC with ppl who didn’t know the city - I’m shocked I made it home

lantana; what’s on your mind right now? Life, love, health

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign? Leo ♌️

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself. My favorite food ever is ice cream, I love Australian shepherds and monkeys, I’m in grad school, I was a dancer growing up, I can lick my elbow.

daphne; do you believe in karma? I think so

queen of the meadow; ever been in love? Yes

wisteria; whom do you admire and why? I admire a couple people, the list has gotten smaller and smaller tho as I’ve gotten older

angel’s face; what was your favorite bedtime story as a child? Those baby Mickey Mouse books

remember me; did you make someone laugh today? Yes

iris; do you believe in ghosts? Not really ghosts, maybe more spirits

lilac; if you could go back in time which time period would you visit? 1920s

caramel kisses; would you want to live forever? why/why not? Depends, would I be living forever at the age I am now or should I get older and older and older and have a shorty quality of life

primula; what makes you sad? Animal abuse, lack of compassion in the world, the greediness only the world, when people don’t treat me they I want to be treated

rain lily; was today typical? why/why not? So far, yes

queen anne’s lace; who do you trust the most? Either my mom or dad

lady’s slipper; what did you have for breakfast today? Cereal, chewy bar and protein cookies

forget me not; do you have any regrets looking back in your life? Kinda

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe? Narnia

violet; favorite tv show? Friends

sunflower; share a favorite quote. The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who can’t fly” Nietzsche

snowdrop; what does your ideal day look like? Wake up around 9:30 -10 have a leisurely breakfast and cuddle with my pup, spend some time outside bc it will be nice and sunny! Go to a festival/craft fair/the beach and enjoy the fresh air with a friend or s/o and then shower, get a little dressed up, for for dinner and drinks, go home and have a couple more drinks and 😉 and then finish it off with dessert and cuddling

tiger lily; do you have any hobbies? Reading, dancing, spending time with my dog, watching baseball

peony; share a small random book passage that means something to you. I don’t have one off the top of my head

tea rose; what’s something you always wanted to do but were too scared? Travel to Germany

honeysuckle; do you usually date people your age or older/younger? Older

sweet pea; who means the world to you? why? There are a handful of people and it’s because they support me and make my life enhanced, Each in their own ways

love in the mist; best books you’ve ever read? Water for elephants, gone girl, the likeness

foxglove; who is your favorite cartoon character? Minnie Mouse

magnolia; coffee or tea? Coffee

crown imperial; would you rather be extremely rich or extremely loved? Loved

snowflake; are you a dog or a cat person? Dog

bell flower; what is your biggest addiction? Ice cream/social media

cosmos; do you ever think about the galaxy? I’m gonna be honest...not really

moonflower; what’s your favorite color? Purple

freesia; do you have a good relationship with your parents and siblings? why/why not? Parents it’s prettt good, sister it waivers

sundrop; are you a morning or a night person? Probably more morning

poppy; have you ever dealt with a mental illness? Yes and still do

clover; how would your friends describe you? Kind, funny, caring, sweet

dandelion; do you consider yourself and extrovert or an introvert? Mostly introvert but extrovert around the right ppl

lilly; what’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do? Nothing I’m embarrassed about

anemone; describe yourself in 3 words. Kind, observant, intuitive

lotus; best memory as a child? Being with my Pop Pop

angelonia; what is your eye and hair color? Light brown and blonde

dahlia; do you like crystals? Sure, why not

buttercup; if you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? The fact that not everyone can afford housing and has healthcare

baby’s breath; what’s your hogwarts house? From buzzfeed quizzes I’ve taken- hufflepuff

calendula; biggest pet peeve? When ppl don’t use their blinkers/are bad drivers in general, when people interrupt me or anyone else, people who are always late (no consideration for others time), when two radio stations are playing the same song at the same time, and I’m sure there are others I just can’t think of rn

blanker flower; would you rather go to a cocktail party with your best friends or stay home and read a book/watch a movie with your pet? Depends on my mood and how long th e cocktail party is and who will be there haha

blazing star; share a secret. I really can’t think of something that NO one else knows about, I disclose different things to different ppl depending on my relationship with you

carnation; would you rather live longer or happier? Happier

petunia; who’s story is your biggest inspiration in life? why? No clue

bluebell; do you wear glasses? Yes!

nymphea; forest or river? River

orchid; do you like exercise? I like the feeling after exercise and feeling strong and for but the actual exercising part? Not really lion

pansy; do you like poetry? Not really

morning glory; any special talent that you have? I can lick my elbow

[aratheplant]

Aye! Happy 4th Anniversary BTS!

  We left the province around 12 pm already. Departure time is supposed to be at 11 am but due to some delays, we left an hour after the expected time.

 Our meeting place is at SM Clark so I decided to buy some snacks before we go to the venue. I'm glad I survived the trip by just eating chocolates and drinking bottled water.

  We left by 12 pm and arrived at MOA by 4pm because the traffic around EDSA is bad as always.

 By 4:00 pm, we're already at the venue and as for me, I immediately went out of the van because I needed to  meet up my internet friends  and also the people who bought round specs from me.

 Every time they show the Video Greeting or the  concert poster on the big screen, every one is screaming & squealing because of excitement.

 Outfit of the Day or should I say, Outfit of the Night?

Sunnies- Thrift

Choker- DIY (wait for my future DIY blogs for the steps)

Cropped Top- Thrift

Tennis Skirt- Made my me

Watch- Casio

Fishnet socks- @czari.ph on IG

White sneakers- Converse

Leather Bag ( which isnt seen  lol) - Marithe+Francois Girbaud

 5th Photo-

Henlo! That's me and & bomb!! This was taken before the concert but I'm already haggard since I have to search 21 people/buyers and guess what? I didn’t meet all of them & I also didn’t meet some of my mutuals which is kind of sad.

I only met (HELLO!!SHOUT OUT TO MY BBY GIRLS) Jezreel, Jasmine, Charlotte & Katrina .

 And lemme rant a bit fam, there is a mismanagement right on our lines before entering the arena (Coral Way). Its like we're stuck on a stampede , we asked a guard where is the end of the queue then he said "hindi ko po alam e". Its kind of disappointing tho but after  some time they organized it and we finally made our way inside the arena.

 The show started at 7:30 with 'Not Today'   as their opening song. ARMYs including me can't stop their selves from chanting & screaming.

 My seat is VIP C 220 which is really near the left extended stage.

 During ments, the boys spoke some tagalog phrases like "nagustuhan nyo ba?" & "qiqil nyo si acoe"  which made us squeaaaaaaaal.

 They are literally BangTAN Boys. Many of them got tanned, probably because of their Coron, Palawan  getaway (let me excuse Min Yoongi bc his skin is still white af)

 The show ended well because of our boys, their performance, messages and effort & our loud chants & successful fan projects. It is my second time to see them but the feels are still lit af!! Epilogue is a great experience but what made it different from WINGS Tour are the solo performances.

 I wont go on detail about their performances here but you can check my Twitter Fan Acc, I made a thread for my TWT Experience, DM me on IG to know my @ since I am keeping it as a little secret lol.

 Yes, I'm a part of the ARMY Bomb Ocean again.  After months of saving & doing various businesses, I am able to buy myself a ticket too see them again (Yas, I spent my own money). The Wings Tour In Manila is another one of a kind & unforgettable experience for me, thanks to BTS, my internet friends, my kind seatmates and of course Thank you very much to those people who bought my for sale crafts & etc, I wont make it without you guys!

  Disclaimer: I didn't post this to brag that I have lots money, I can attend to concerts or whatever. I worked hard to buy my own ticket and somehow I want to be an inspiration to other fangirls out there. BTS inspired me to work hard, so I did. I hope you can do it for the next concerts too!

 -drizzleshara XXVXIII

Twitter & IG: @sharacmllo

[carolyndingle]

Article titled "The East Coast is getting battered up in snow! Aren't you glad you live in California?"

Omg shoot me now lol. The article is actually from our FOX station in SF. Shut up right now west coast lol I know we're getting a freakin storm tomorrow, but Cali is all nice weather right now ahhh lol. But whatever it's cool bc I have cool snow boots! Actually I only used them once during the first snow storm. Atleast I get to put them to use again tomorrow. They were expensive I better be using them lol. But ya. A few people won't be coming to work tomorrow including my manager. And a lot of agencies will be working from home. But overall snow days are pretty chill. Storms are still so crazy to me. The news tonight was all "starting midnight it's going to start adding 2 inches per hour so morning will be about a foot of snow" and I'm watching thinking WTF lol. Foreal my eyes were like this the whole time 😳. I'm used to seeing storms like this on tv but not living in it lol. It's crazy. It's crazy bc today no snow at all, it was actually a nice sunny day today! Then overnight there's supposed to form a foot of snow on the ground it's like damn how does that happen lol. But that's what the east coast is like. But again tomorrow will be chill and I got my boots and my coat and gloves and hat and I'll be good. And we get to dress casual. But ya. We'll just thought to blog real quick but I should go to sleep now. Okay see ya! ❄️ -Carolyn