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my lovely loves, please, put your age on your profile description. i don't want to block none of y'all but i don't want a minor interacting with my page/content so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE put your age!!!!
#deblklesb speaks#please i beg y'all#bc i don't want to block anyone#but honestly i don't want minors following me
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I don't consider myself part of 'the queer community'. I actively avoid groups, labels, gatherings. I don't need to describe why.
But is transandrophobia one of the reasons?
Lol, duh. No shit.
#deadbeat talks.#trans nsft#gay nsft#mlm nsft#transandrophobia#transmisandry#misandry#'being a man must be so boring' 'don't you just hate it when men' 'being a gay can't be a choice bc who would willingly pick men?'#choke?? lol.#vent post#personal vent#hell repackaged and internalized homophobia is just shoved in my face by fellow gay men like. im not laughing at your self hatred.#i like men. you wanna be friends with the manhaters so bad go kiss them then. since kissing men is SUCH a fucking pain.#you wanna specify bigots specify bigots. you wanna specify trends specify trends.#you're not specifying when you fucking say men and congrats i don't wanna hang around your fucking fem only club.#saw 'being a man must be so boring' as a reel comment and ik exactly who they meant and ik exactly who it actually hits.#not interested not interested not interested blocked blocked blocked - I'm very. Fucking. Tired.#Ive ditched several 'friends'. girls. fem aligned ppl. nonbinary ppl. 'oh im not talking about like- TRANS men-' I'll say it again. choke.#i did not work through cultural fearmongering as a child teaching me to be scared of my male classmates and scared of my masculine self.#i did not work through unlearning homophobia and accepting femininity through detaching dysphoria from hating all things feminine.#i did not learn the difference between toxic masculinity and healthily being oneself and ultimately accepting myself as a man.#i did not go through being accepting myself as tomboy girl then a hesitantly queer nonbinary then a finally steady trans man.#to have practically EVERYTHING I FUCKING SEE from supposed allies queers and feminists be 'lol men amirite'.#again.#choke.#i did not learn the markers of abuse assault and true predatory behavior and how it was separate from gender and anyone could do it.#for ppl to then turn on ME for being a man.#you want your abusive boyfriend your misogynistic father your creeper uncle your hatecriming classmates whoever to treat you as a person.#you're not. talking. to all. men.#and you're sure as shit not talking to me.
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short neuvifuri angst idea
"Oh, did you enjoy the script that she wrote? Did you like the role that you were cast as? I hope you were happy in those five hundred years, Neuvillette, because I never was!"
Furina storms off after pushing him, leaving him drenched to the bone and sitting awkwardly in the waters of the Fountain of Lucine with naught to do but contemplate his long lasting memories. Remembering the way she would smile is an easy endeavor. Furina always looked sincere when smiling; perhaps he wasn't looking hard enough, but surely even fleeting moments between just the two of them had to have brought her some amount of happiness, as small as it may be.
He thinks of one long ago night, during the third century of her reign. Actually, right on the cusp of the new milestone, he recalls the Palais had been eerily silent after wrapping up a week of festivities held in Furina's honor. The people of Fontaine were still celebrating, and would be doing so until the early hours of the morning, but all was still within the Palais. Except for them, that is. She had supposedly retired to her bedchambers, and him to his office, yet the two had bumped into each other within the kitchen.
"Let's go to the Opera," she had told him, in lieu of answering when he asked what she was doing. He supposes that the flecks of pastry crumbs on her clothes answered that, and he didn't ask other questions such as why she wanted to go to the Opera. He followed her as willingly as if she had simply asked for the time.
(Their whole relationship had been like that, hadn't it? A duty that extended beyond just an Archon and her Iudex. He once heard the Traveler mention a sea of flowers at the end of the world, and should Furina declare that she would like to see such a sight, he would tear down Celestia just to make it happen.)
Furina had packed a basket of food to bring, and two bottles of wine to go with. Then they partook perhaps more than they should've, and perhaps he should've questioned if Archons can get drunk, or if a Sovereign should be getting drunk with one. He definitely should have stopped her from going into the storerooms of the Epiclese and procuring even more for them. The memories start to get a little hazy after that, but he can vaguely recall a remark she made about the location not being the best choice, and that she wanted to get away from something. He can't recall who made the decision to go up, and have him help carry her as they climb to the roof, but suspects it was still her doing.
As clear as day, though, he can remember her smile, bathed in the light of the slowly rising sun as it crested over the waters of her dominion. Out of every beautiful sight in Fontaine, she is the one he gets to appreciate most often, but never before in a light like this. He could gaze at that moment for another hundred years and never tire of it. "Dragon of the waters," she had called him, "might you allow an Archon to call you theirs?"
Should she have asked him that at the start of her reign, should they have been in a similar situation, the answer would be clear. He might have even wondered, with the walls of the Court to block them from their peoples' sights, if an Archon so in love with her people would fall like one if he shoved her. But they were not in the past, and he already knew by then that he had come to love her, and thus his answer was "I was under the belief that I already was yours, Lady Furina, both within my capacity as your Chief Justice and without. The people of Fontaine adore you, yet it is my love for you that truly knows no bounds. Nothing would make me happier than to be yours."
"They do, don't they," she had whispered, a note he almost lost to time with how he just barely could hear her. "Promise me this, Neuvillette, if you wish to be mine- promise you will never stray from your duties to Fontaine, and you will always, always, do what is best for her people."
"I will."
"And promise that you will stay by my side forever, then, for another three centuries and beyond that, even if you grow tired of me!"
"Of course, Furina, is... is something the matter?"
It was the first time he had seen her come close to crying, droplets of tears clumping her eyelashes together yet disappearing as she blinked, "Oh, you silly dragon, only the fact that you make me ever so happy."
Leaving the warmth of the memory behind, Neuvillette returns to the cold of an overcast sky dripping with sleet, as a blue silhouette leaves him behind and disappears into the cloudy distance.
#i didn't feel like writing the beginning but it's just them getting into an argument over how they feel for each other#cause i love the idea of furina rejecting *everything* that anyone ever might have felt for her while she posed as an archon#bc then she'd have felt like they didn't love her. they loved *focalors*. they loved her for who she can pretend to be#and not for who she actually is.#she needs therapy!! so does he!! everyone in fontaine does!!#this may be barely edited but it's still getting posted :D#genshin#genshin impact#furina#neuvillette#neuvifuri#fanfiction#genshin fanfiction#angst#idk if anyone will see this but if anyone might start to be like “well *i* see them as having a parent-child or sibling relationship-”#do the fuck not. my headcanons do not invalidate yours and yours don't invalidate mine!#two people can interpret a canon relationship differently and that's okay! i also enjoy viewing them with a more familial relationship!#but i also enjoy getting to explore their characterizations within a romantic relationship! they've got multitudes! and that's fine!#and if you don't like something just block the tag and move on or smth you literally don't need to engage with anything if you don't want t#sorry for the rant!! love and peace everyone :D
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On really interesting implications the show made by making Cole Dornish
Okay so, I didn't yet see anyone talk about this and I really find it fascinating. So, what I managed to find on Cole's backstory is that he was a son of a Stewart of Lord Dondarrion at Blackhaven, in the Dornish Marches. Which isn't that important in the book, due to him being white and having a standard Stormlander appearance. However, in the show, they explicitly made him Dornish, which adds a cool twist to it.
This what I managed to find from Wiki of Ice and Fire: "The marcher lords of the stormlands have some of the strongest castles of the Seven Kingdoms, as they have defended against Dornish incursions for thousands of years."
Essentially, they are at constant war with Dorne, and it's implied Cole got his battle experience by fighting the Dornish. Which, with the show's choice of the actor and Alicent's "Gods he is Dormish" once Cole takes off the helmet could mean several things.
It implies that one of Cole's parents or grandparents was Dornish. I am inclined to lean more towards parents because if it was say, a grandmother, he'd have more of a chance to be white passing. Considering the fact that his father was a steward of one of the marcher lords, I think it's safe to assume he was a stormlander, or looked enough like one to pass off without suspicion.
That would mean Cole's mother was likely Dornish, or half Dornish. Which creates a possibly very uncomfortable implication. Either Cole's mother ran off with his father, or worse she was captured during a battle and later married him.
My point is, I kinda wish we knew more? I know shit ton of people really hate him, but that would be an interesting backstory. Would also explain why he acts the way he does in some scenes-and idk about you but even for characters I see as villains, I find that knowing their motivations is super satisfying
#criston cole#pro criston cole#bc I don't want anyone to tell me I didn't tag it so y'all can block it#and yes I know we didn't even get enough material about main character HOWEVER they at least get fics exploring that#so I can get my urge to know more satisfyed by those explanations
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After learning about the video game "CONTROL" and watching Julia LePetit-Drawfee play it, I have amended my views on brutalist architecture.
I used to think that brutalist architecture was a completely miserable and hideous style of architecture to expect human beings to exist in or around, with absolutely no acceptable applications.
But NOW I think that brutalist architecture is a completely miserable and hideous style of architecture to expect human beings to exist in or around, which is actually quite suitable for a visually striking video game about a living building that fucking hates you and is actively trying to kill you and everyone in it. ✅ ✅ ✅
I'm being silly but tbh anyone who disagrees with me can go ahead and spend 10 years commuting in the dingy gray concrete brutalist dimness of the DC metro system and then fucking get back to me.
#brutalism#brutalist architecture#brutalist#architecture#control#control game#secret sleepover society#julia drawfee#julia lepetit#original#Also bc brutalist builsings are made up of massive blocks of concrete theu are not only hideous but also basically impossible to get rid of#And that's why every college in America still has at least one fucking hideous corporate concrete building from the 1970s#those colleges would like to get rid of the buildings but because they are largely indestructible it is too expensive#I don't know what the fuck was happening in the '70s but I imagine in the '80s everyone was like oh fuck#I mean it's right there in the name it genuinely does feel brutal to spend a long time in a brutalist building#it's like if there was a style of architecture called stinky shit-ism XD#but control the video game is about just the worst building in the universe so it works#brutalism asks the question what if every building could have the same vibes as a parking garage??#anyone who wants to feel vindicated on this topic should totally check out the very funny sketch on youtube from#the Comedy Central show alternatino called The Man Behind the worst buildings in the world - or something like that#i cry laughed
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I don't really do exclusives (with one exception being @magicbound 's Orsino), but I do consider specific people to be 'mains' that I associate with specific characters. I just simply cannot be bothered making a page or adding it to my rules.
Usually when I'm thinking about how Meredith might interact with a specific character, I'll default to a mutual's specific take on them, but I also don't want to limit myself or others when it comes to RP because I do like different perspectives (and obviously this doesn't apply to people playing player characters like Hawke, who all have different portrayals).
If we're mutuals, I want to write with you at some point and in some capacity.
That's it. Simple as.
#OOC.#PSA.#[ i am also a very liberal blocker on this blog ]#[ so I don't worry about the incoming DAV blogs ]#[ if I do not like the vibe I simply ✨Block✨ ]#[ also this isn't shitting on the practice or anyone who does it; I don't partake bc i don't have time for it and don't want to do it ]
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probably a take that a LOT of people are going to be angry about but I'm gonna preface with: I'm speaking on a general trend I've seen in online spaces, and my thoughts on it are not a direct callout to anyone nor an inherent indicator of if someone's DID is "real" or "fake."
but like. the way that some people will use public spaces to "chat intra-system" is so wild and even at times uncomfortable as fuck, if nothing else it's pretty wildly unsafe because like you have NO IDEA who's reading what you're writing out. Having a private discord server or a journal or a notes app or something is a much safer way to facilitate that kind of thing.
that and lowkey..... sometimes ppl doing it in public or actively sharing screenshots of it on tumblr like it's some "the group chat going wild tonight" type content just feels. So much like roleplay. It skeeves me out a bit. I know in my heart that generally using a space to try and communicate with other parts of the system is a healthy coping mechanism that a lot of therapists recommend but so many times that I see that posted it feels like that meaning and healing has been lost and in some cases borders on roleplaying or content farming and it makes me so uncomfortable
#like you don't have to and SHOULDNT be posting every little thing all the time to the internet especially when it comes to within-the-system#making your coping mechanisms into public displays is so bad for mental health#and I would know because I used to do that so often when I was younger and it fucked me up so bad#and again this isn't some callout or vagueposting abt anyone in particular just the trend of this happening feels yucky to me#bc especially with the content that goes out it gets hard to tell who's genuinely just wanting to share and who might be trying to just#generate content and likes and squeeze out every bit of what the internet will eat tf up#actually dissociative#actually did#did#dissociative#dissociative identity disorder#I'm welcome to discussing this btw but if you're a dick about it or start the infantilizing shit I'm blocking on sight#I'm just so over the ableist garbage over the last two days lol#tpwh
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October Update!
Hey everyone!
I know october is happening tomorrow, and I also know that people are gonna be drawing some art for the spooky season, including some horror type art. Both Goretober and Whumptober will be running this month so! Lots of angst and horror stuff from that alone.
I'll be reblogging some of it, so below are some tags to block if you don't wanna see!
tw blood, tw injury, tw horror, tw gore, tw death, and tw medical are all tags I can see myself using. There may be more specific ones too (such as tw mind control, or tw nonhuman for like. werewolf or vampire stuff!) The tw is there so I remember it's a WARNING for what may be present! If you think more tags are needed on a particular post or reblog, please feel free to ask me to add them! I will, of course, be using my standard angst tags as well for everything.
I just wanted to give a heads up. I myself am dropping a ghostly oneshot tomorrow :) I hope those of us that enjoy spooky and horror type works enjoy the month. And for those who don't I hope all of the tagging works and you ALSO enjoy the month! :D
#i am still picky in the horror sort of stuff i reblog but#i like a lot of scary things!!#people i know are doing goretober and whumptober#and i may draw some of the prompts as well#I JUST DON'T WANT ANYONE CAUGHT OFF GUARD. BLOCK TAGS NOW IF YOU DON'T WANNA SEE THEM PLEASE#i love. spooky times. and horror type art can be really fun#not putting this in the main tags bc that is not the point#... if even after giving a warning people get upset i will be very sad ngl#I AM TRYING I PROMISE#IT'S MY BLOG BUT ALSO I WANNA BE RESPECTFUL BUT ALSO I WANNA REBLOG STUFF THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING
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er... extreme amount of dragon age: the veilguard scribbles to soothe my heart🐦⬛💀
#dragon age tag#datv spoilers#dragon age veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da:tv spoilers#LOL just in case. does anyone care. no-one cares. even making this unrebloggable bc it's all about my rook nobody should care#this is such a huge amount of art it might crash so im going to post it before i say any more tags i guess#ok it didnt crash. i played this not caring that much about dragon age. i liked da2 for the romance. but i never even finished 1 or 3#i thought it was Ok for the first 20 hours with annoying parts. But..then i got really attached out of nowhere. i love falling in love#wait there isnt much else to say to myself. i want to play again but i dont want my initial feelings to be overwritten#i like not knowing whats going to happen......really going through it... like bg3 dark urge.....😭#i cried a lot and was freaking out near the end. Too much goin on..whyd it have to end#and i wouldn't even do anything different..i'd still save X town over Y town..OBVIOUSLY!!!!!! and how could i not be mourn watch...#thats WHAT HAPPENED!!! TO ME AS ROOK!!!! Well anyway......walks away#i actually don't know whether it's always those two towns or not. haven't looked up anything don't discuss it etc#wait i drew so much. bg3 meant TOO much so i wouldn't draw anything like this for that. this feels weird too. Let's leave it there.#returns to the personal contemplation chamber far away from this cruel and noisy world. I dont need anything but the chamber#i wish i could go back to playing it & blocking out the world. so hard when that ends. all i have now is the chamber...#Hm? didn't you just say that's all you need? Oh cai.
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Ah, for the people who have blocked me bc I am simply (and reasonably) asking for proof of the validity of wildly circulated misinformation based on nothing but hearsay that is actively damaging hurricane relief efforts, and stirring even greater division among our fellow citizens:
I sincerely hope you have done so for reasons of not discoursing on the internet with a stranger in a way that for you is detrimental to your mental health, and not bc you refuse to acknowledge and discuss the possibility that you might be wrong.
One thing is very healthy, the other is very dangerous and sad.
#if you want a conspiracy about all this go read what#historian and political journalist heather cox richardson has been writing lately#biden didnt take from fema to give to immigration funds but trump did with ssp#he was also praised by republicans for his quick response to the disaster (and i can attest personally to#previous presidents' less than stellar or quick response to at least one disaster i lived through#we didnt call it a conspiracy then we called it bureaucratic red tape)#anyways a certain historic authoritarian was also fond of flooding the public with such huge amounts of misinformation#that people became too exhausted trying to sort through the lies to find the truth and **gave up** bc they couldn't stop the mass amounts of#lies from winning#you can also see locals and pastors pleading with people to stop spreading misinformation as trying to respond to it#is exhausting their energy when they are working 12hr days trying to help people and cannot afford to fight infowars#if you want a conspiracy it's definitely there#but it's one against democracy and against truth#and i can understand why people got exhausted trying to fight against this crap even before the age of information#anyways i got blocked what if i get hatey anons next simply bc i said 'do you know the specifics of these claims?'#and my lil blog doesnt reach far these days (thank heaven)#but i still have not had a single person supply actual evidence#just more of the same baseless claims made by media influencers who have something to gain#and they sprinkle in just enough truth (my family member's house flooded and neighbors helped them)#that the big lie (therefore the government is doing nothing and hates citizens) gets embraced wholeheartedly#literally the facts are there for anyone to look at#(or the lack of evidence of wrongdoing in this case)#like i don't love our government but whatever happened to innocent until proven guiltym#why find out that your opponent may not have done you dirty for once#when instead you can presuppose their guilt and lynchmob any dissenters for free#i love humans as individuals#i am terrified of humans in large groups who get angry bc someone told them something that fit their suspicions#(suspicions which have also been fed for years by massive heaping webs of lies#and often by foreign parties who would love to see american democracy crash and burn)#i wish i knew who to aim this rant at
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i need to update my rules on my blogs but i am feeling icky and my blogs have been breaking containment so i think i need to add a dni to my rules. until i get to that, unless we're currently already friends/mutuals pls don't follow me if you frequently interact with sasu or everi 🙏 its not a huge deal because my issues with them are years old at this point but for my personal comfort i just want to distance myself
#url blocking is broken on mobile and as a mobile user its better to just. distance#i don't mind explaining but i don't want to sway anyone's opinions on them bc again.#my problems w them are years old and they're probably different/better people now
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The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.
Which could be nothing right
yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).
All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).
#i just. do not think it is as bad as some people want to make it seem. i know not to take people who make cashier peaked in high school deku#jokes but like some of yall are treating this as if it's a major failure of the manga ? ? ?#it's underwhelming if you want#it didn't touch on stuff you wanted it to touch on whatever#i personally think that it did okay with the constraints it clearly had#like even without going into shonen jump conspiracy theories horikoshi had been doing 15 pages chapters for a while now#I also think that a lot of disappointment comes from fanon interpretations becoming canon in people's minds especially regarding izuku#and like do not get me wrong i had mixed feelings when i read the chapters i still have mixed feelings on some aspects (hawks what r you#doing etc etc)#i dont blame people who didn't like the ending for not liking the ending#i am just very annoyed by some justifications for not liking the ending#i don't even bother arguing with anyone at this point bc i don't want to be that person (too often) and because it just straight up makes m#feel bad lmao#anywayssssss i probably wanted to say something else but i forgor#oh no yeah listen. maybe you think it's lazy and maybe it is lazy to do an 8 years timeskip and leave a lot of stuff up to the reader#i personally really like this choice. important points were addressed and the rest can be speculated upon by the fanbase and by god.#we are the mha fandom guys. we can speculate. we love to speculate. we have EIGHT YEARS#you can do literally whatever you want man#i already have my personal canon for what happened during the eight years and believe me it helps a lot with the mixed feelings lmao#again. horikoshi did Not have a lot of space the story clearly had a lot of plot changes halfway through. i really do think this is more#than okay. this ending is not the end of the world i promise.#anyways i originally started like citing bs criticism i saw and then i thought ok lets not. inside thoughts etc etc.#i am not a meta analyzer i regularly learn i've misunderstood something about something or misremembered a plot point i am Not the person#for actually good meta and a lot of very insightful stuff on how we are very much not the target audience and lack cultural context go see#pikahlua lmao#mha manga spoilers#mha 430#mad mha ramblings//#ask//#i almost want to say ask to tag lmao? i have the mha cri/tical tag blocked so if anyone needs the opposite for me being overly positive
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i have been doing this thing where i have been accidentally eating nutritious meals, not drinking caffeine, not smoking, not drinking alcohol, and not eating any junk food and holy shit i feel amazing??? my mood has just increased so much and I'm NEVER tired and I've been having rare if no negative thoughts. has anyone heard of being healthy this is insane?
#to be fair i smoked like 4 times in the last two weeks#bc those were stressful days#but also considering everything else I've given up im fine with that#the fact that i#a guy who struggled with body image and anorexia and bulimia and binge eating and has an insane sweet tooth#bought a block of chocolate#over two weeks ago#and I still haven't eaten it#because I've been like. eating proper meals#is HUUUGE#i can't believe it!#my skin is glowing! a bunch of my coworkers complimented me earlier this week#i know what I'm like and I'm not going to completely cut out chocolate or anything#but the fact that i haven't even Wanted it is just insane to me#I've also been setting so many boundaries at work and in my personal life#not doing things that i don't want to do#this last month has just been amazing#ever since my naming ceremony ever since november i feel like I've literally physically (as well as figuratively re singing lessons)#cut out all of my shit that I've accidentally let grow#guy who recently discovered eating 3 nutritious meals a day: hey has anyone heard of this?#i do want to do more strength based exercise for my longevity just in case I'm fortunate enough to make it to old age#so I'll buy some weights later on but I've been doing yoga for now which has been cool#never thought I'd be this kinda person#I just kind of assumed I'd be living off monster energy zero and cigarettes for the rest of my life#I've also been enjoying logging all of my food that I eat into my phone app#because it breaks down how much of which vitamins and other nutrients you've eaten#and shows you where from#mine#anyway. this is the most sober and heslthy I've perhaps ever been in my life and holy shit this is transformative for me#feels weird to say it but I'm so glad i got sick that one week and went off food and coffee and cigarettes
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I'm like 50% sure someone blocked this blog
I'm not mad, I'm actually here to warn anyone else: If you wanna block me, make sure I'm blocked on all your sideblogs too!! I'm not talking whole separate accounts, but apparently (for some reason) sideblogs on your account have separate block lists
Block me if you want, but block responsibly >:3 It'd be bad if you didn't want me around but I rbed a thing not knowing it was yours right?
(I'd tag the person I think blocked me... If they didn't block me, lol)
#ikeprincest#not dev related#ps if you're wondering how i knew it's bc i tried to rb a post to this blog and it did not work#figured it's cause they were the op of the post#and this is a sideblog (they didn't block my main acc i think) so i presume i could have reblogged it to there?#anyway idc like i said just do it responsibly i don't want anyone feeling bad bc of me
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actually regret not telling the person who randomly brought out that brian molko smeared his hands with his own piss while talking to fans while i was just talking about how cool Meds is that you don't approach famous people because they might be a worse freak than you.
#they blocked me a little bit later and i'll always be like. did they block me bc i didn't stop liking p/lacebo after that.#unsanitary cw#like. i do not want to meet anyone lol#meeting people you admire is the worst but that's something i don't want to go deeper into
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My RC fandom experience has gotten so much better and all it took was blocking like 3 people.
#i very rarely block anyone bc im a nosy bitch and i want to know what's up#even if i don't like/disagree with the person's opinion#but sometimes... sometimes...#bitch speaks
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