#bc i don't want them crawling on me
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Ants doing their thing on the field peas
#garden2024#they're not bitey#i just flick the stem to knock them off before picking peas#bc i don't want them crawling on me#field peas#cowpeas
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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yuri lowell versus gacha games
(*Rays translations in these screenshots belong to me and have been inputted into my own game. full scene hasn't been posted yet)
ability to use his arm and thus fight with that arm lost temporarily in Link before being beat the absolute fuck up by a guy who nearly captured him, threw him in a dungeon and left him barely alive;
brainwashed/memory wiped and given altered memories temporarily in Asteria;
a transgressor from apparently (game shut down before we got a backstory - or frankly anything else at all) being caught committing a crime and put on Vision Central and thus condemned by the majority of the viewers as guilty in Crestoria;
Yuri doing just fine in Rays except Flynn's body is being used by another guy and he does not fucking like it and has a glorious meltdown and is no longer doing just fine upon finding out.
that, uh, does not include the fact that he was seen by Glastein in Rays arc 4 who has a deep obsession with dark hair officially he says black hair but yuri's is purple i'll die on that hill and he also likes lukius' hair too which is clearly brown so uh I'M saying dark hair and commented very very creepily on the length and shine of Yuri's hair and how he wanted to take it home with him.
so yeah! uh! Yuri's gacha life, everyone!
#GTF Yuri Things#they trick you by giving out ample alts of him and making him front and center in all the games#(crestoria was about to so i give them that at least)#and making him all important in the stories... and then they beat him up physically or emotionally#like man Link arc 2 was NOT kind to him LMAO man was physically knocked around so bad#GACHA GAMES DO NOT TREAT YURI VERY KINDLY DO NOT BE FOOLED BY ALL HIS ALTS LMAO#nah i love you claw just. you know. you're still technically. brainfucked yuri. but. i love you bby.#i just wanted to make a shitpost abt the fact that yuri's gacha life sucks LMAOOOO#(reason i left out the glastein scene is bc i don't have that scene properly translated yet so it's not even in my game yet#i usually wait to put translated files into my game until i have the full scene done#so no creepy ass fuckin' glastein screenshots yet)#NOT TO SAY THE GACHA GAMES' STORIES ARE NOT AMAZING BC THEY ARE#just. yuri uh. well. he uh. he gets knocked around. he is not given the happiest storylines.#and no I'm not joking about the Yuri having a meltdown over Flynn thing#and I'm VERY strict about my own translations LOL#so no nobody can pull the ''weh weh she's just a shipper'' actually no i just tl what's in front of me and work with char tone#covering that base before someone tries to crawl up my ass bc god i know they're out there somewhere#whatever the original says i translate to the best of my ability without bias#i might like the content but i never alter content bc god knows i blow a fuse over loc yuri on the daily LMAO
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after i got out of the insomnia phase i crashed face-first into hypersomnia instead and as it turns out, sleeping all the time and waking up sore and groggy is just as good a way to make me irritable and anti-social as dealing with insomnia is
#which is why i keep making half-assed attempts to be social before crawling back into the shadows#i can't even blame it on the new meds bc this happens even when i don't take them lmao#“always sleeping” is better than “never sleeping” but like#in the way “extreme cold” is better than “extreme heat”#they both fucking suck and make me want to die but one is marginally less damaging to my mental health#tox.txt
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finally going through my likes to collect all the asks i've wanted to reply to since fucking april to add them into my drafts
i'm. i'm trying to at least start getting my shit together here. i've felt the strong urge to give writing a shot since yesterday, so. i'm gonna see about potentially doing some tonight? maybe?? still teetering on the edge of falling into Bad Thoughts when i let my mind wander too far, so idk how long the attempt will last or if it'll be successful, but.
#gonna probably clean my drafts out a lot too tbh...... i need to bring the number down for my own sanity#and at this point i feel like i'll have an easier time getting the ball rolling with newer stuff#but. lbr every time i SAY i'm gonna delete some drafts i can't bring myself to get rid of any of them akjsfhs#and i'm not about to scroll through them all tonight either bc that'll DEFINITELY overwhelm me & steer me away from writing anything#but. hh. i miss being here i miss shoving byan at everyone i miss!!! everything around here!!!!!!#i can't promise to actually make good on any of this any time soon bc i'm still just in such a bad place but asdjhksfds#idk anymore man. even if all i do is collect the things i want to reply to... that's something. that's less that i need to do so#maybe the next time i crawl on here i'll actually be able to do some writing#idk. don't mind me i'm kinda just working through my own thoughts here akjhfds#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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yeah okay. maybe it is actually all worth it
#the fucking lights in his little eyes.....#i had to crop most of this out bc i don't want my face on the internet but unpictured is him standing horizontally against the chair#and basically laying across my shoulders and kicking his neck back like that#YOU CAN EVEN SEE THE LITTLE SPOTS WHERE HIS TEETH POKE OUT BC THEY'RE TOO BIG FOR HIS DAMN MOUTH#he LOVES to sit and watch movies w me but i don't have a couch and the chair is sort of awkward for him#so to think that one day i will be in my own apartment watching a movie on a comfy couch with this thing crawling all over me....#it'll be hard but if i get to see him like this all the time maybe it'll all be worth it#ive noticed i have a hard time sharing happy things bc im worried people will hold them against me when i become not so happy#so when i have my 30th depressive spiral of the week in like 12 hours nobody is allowed to use this post to invalidate my drama ok#not that i think anyone would but still#just bc i am happy now does not mean i will be happy tomorrow and im trying to learn how to recognize when i feel happy#but it always comes w a little hint of ''people will use this against you''#and for me remembering that i was once very happy and will be happy again does NOT make me feel better#bc who gives a shit if i was once happy and will be again! i feel like shit rn and i WILL AGAIN#anyway. i DONT feel like shit rn but you get the metaphor#edge of sleep. cool movie. my cat rubbed all over me. AND i don't have to work tomorrow#AND i wrote my cover letter today#anyway nite nite
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Bellefast has been coming to me in my dreams recently, in a similar way to how Monteith and Jibblie do
I find myself at The Circus, but in a sleeping quarter of some kind. And I can hear the festivities going on outside, in the big top. I'm apparently just passing through, but know everyone well enough that they let me stay on the property.
The only person I don't know is Bellefast, which is strange since he's the Ringleader, you tihnk I'd know him quite well, if I know all the clowns and performers and stagehands.
And he doesn't know me. So when he stumbles into the sleeping quarters, whiskey and candy floss on his breath, and falls into the bed, he's caught by surprise. As am I.
It feels like maybe a creative exercise? Maybe my brain wants to flesh this character out more, so it's putting him into my almost asleep brain so that I have to learn more about him.
So far I've learned he has a drinking problem.
#Rosie rambles#My dreams have been very strange lately especially my almost dreams like I'm about to fall asleep state#Whenever I describe things like this none of my friends think it's normal#Like to fall asleep I have all these situations play out and scenes and I don't have control over them#I can be like man I wish Monteith was here cause I can't sleep#And then Monteith will crawl out of the closet and Jibblie will be doing cartwheels on his shoulder#And he'll say something to me in a voice I never expect bc that's kind of his thing#And then usually Jibblie will do a trapeas act or something to keep my brain occupied#Trapese? Trapeese? I don't know how to spell it. You know the flips and shit#But the past two or three nights it's been Bellefast and I have little control over him#Meaning I can't think for him to say something or do something he just does what he wants#Which is to sleep. Drunkenly. Next to me#I didn't even mention his mind control powers but it's more like... Persuasion? Or like.. I want this#So you want this now too#Idk how to describe it exactly but it's kind of like Damien from The Bright Sessions except he uses it for good#...... Mostly. He mostly uses it for the big top performances and getting everyone genuinely excited about The Circus#He doesn't implant false feelings into your brain it's more like he coaxes out stuff like you WANT to be having a great time right now#So then they DO have a great time#I guess it's like releasing your inhibition? Versus mind control technically#But yea the drinking problem is more of a concern to me lol he relies on it after every performance regardless of the time of day#OC: Bellefast#I think I want to tag my OC places too#The Circus
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#keroro#i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER#i literally need to do this irl#like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more#in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me#me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok#his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing#his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept#and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile#at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway#*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here#im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them#ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso
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hello! i was busy this past week so i wasn't able to get much writing done until like a few days ago, but i wanted to let people know of a minor edit i made to one of my rules:
"you will be waiting a month or more for replies."
due to the number of threads and the sheer attention to detail of many of them require ( which i adore- it challenges and tickles my brain in all the best ways ) across four blogs, combining that with having writing outside of tumblr and other hobbies, it's just not possible for me to always get back to people quickly if they want good replies. and that goes for IMs as well. with shorter threads, i might be faster at replying, but 9 out of 10 times, that's not the case. i want to make sure you're aware of this if we are/do become mutuals.
typically though, i do try to get at least one or two replies done and some kind of activity each week across my four blogs...of course that's also dependent on what's going on in my life outside of tumblr too. but if i'm not active on this blog you'll most likely find some kind of activity on one of my three single muse blogs. feel free to follow calum and/or patrick's blogs if you wish in the meanwhile.
#( psa. )#this isn't calling anyone out#but i know for the fact i am a quality over speed kind of writer#writing is....an art to me and if you know anything about art#it takes time#ie. i'm not fast pls don't put a time limit on me for anything here#i will not be able to meet them#but i will get back to you one way or another#i think?? my partners can attest to this as well....#i will come crawling in at a snail's pace#but yeah!! low key week coming up so hopefully?? i can get some kind of writing in on this week bc i really really want to <3
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sigh
#TMI warning#tags are a whole mess :/#I don't want to go on this trip anymore. the dynamics are whack out of order#and if I say anything about it it's me /not coping well/ and /being selfish/. bc we can't risk upsetting him. I know he has it hard too.#I'm not discounting that this trip will be awful in a different way for him. But at the end of the day he gets to go home and forget#forget how much idk. that's up to him ig#and we get to return to this hellhole. we had no internet today: none. god knows why. no power for 4 hours#no quality assurance: the toothpaste is rotting our teeth#no public pest control: I've got bites that we can't identify from falling into an unmarked half-finished road repair#and the fever i got from them just went away. after a week. and nobody could do anything bc antipyretics are in short supply#I don't want to play nice anymore :) bc he doesn't understand and making him understand would be mortifying#showing him how desperate his former partner's family really is. we'll need to borrow his credit card to do essential shopping#while on our so-called fun and games trip#bc we can't take much money out of the country and they don't accept IR cards there. so.#we'll be buying fucking toothpaste and underwear using his card and /paying him back/ using my aunt's money#which he holds#it's all so fucking sordid and degrading#soul-crushing#vent#.txt#idk if I should be posting this#esp to main... maybe we'll shunt it to the vent blog#esp esp bc I'm hurting and it's 3AM and I'll regret it in the morning probably#but what I wouldn't give for one person to understand it all and not turn away from me in embarrassment#what I wouldn't give to feel able to crawl out of this mess. worthy of crawling out of it. even if it was make-believe for a moment.#really bad post J. really really bad. I still want to post it.
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Committed a social faux pas today and I hate it
#i have 2 licenses bc i just haven't gotten around to destroying my old one yet#i have them both in my wallet#i accidentally had the old one on top of the new one when i went to but cider out of state#they were like this one's expired so we can't sell it to you#but I'm 30 let me get you the one that's not expired#so i dropped the correct license on the counter while i fished out my credit card#and they were like 'okay but next time don't throw your license'#but like??? i dropped it on the counter for them so i could get my card???#and they were like 'we're nice people' don't be so rude and idk they made me feel weird and bad#anyways as much as i like traveling i don't like feeling so... out of my depth#in ny that's just like a normal thing i think? like here have my license while i get you money#idk I'm tired and i was driving all day and i feel weird and bad for committing this faux pas#then they started saying like 'use this machine if your license is expired to print out an id' like... what?#idk i wanted to crawl in a hole and die#thanks rsd#it's been... it's been a long week#and I'm tired#on Tuesday though I'm calling up the apartment places I'm looking at to set up tours for while I'm in OR in June#people were like 'well why not Nashville since your bro lives there' fuck no Tennessee is the worst like yes it's ecologically beautiful#but i like having rights to things like trans healthcare and abortions#there are only a couple of places in comfortable living in the us and that's the northeast minus Maine and the West Coast#odt#it's actually been a long month tbh#i feel like i forgot something at work#and i don't have my work laptop and I'm nervous now#oh well
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yo i am falling behind so horrifically in replying to people on discord/IMs so if i haven't messaged back in a hot minute i'm sorry!! school and life is kicking the shit out of me this year, i promise i'm not ignoring anyone on purpose and i will get back to y'all when i have some time!!
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#listen i want to plot with y'all so bad my brain is just mush#i'm crawling from obligation to obligation like a caterpillar rn and i very much don't want writing to become one as well#keepin it light keepin it casual until i'm free of midterms#in the meantime tho feel free to holler at me about your characters and the things you love about them bc i love to read it!!!
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💋 The Turmoil One Suffers
summary: In the second installment of The Secrets One Keeps, a relaxing day on the pogue proves to be anything but, with your inner struggles getting the better of you and JJ hot on your tail.
jj maybank x reader, rafe cameron x reader
warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, talks of suffocation ig? plz let me know if I've missed anything.
a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering I first wrote this like 3 years ago. Also, for those asking, I won't be doing a taglist for this fic bc I'm lazy and technologically deficient.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・
You shouldn’t have been smoking, it made you feel uneasy, paranoid even.
You had found yourself on the pogue in the wake of Pope’s incessant bitching about how you had to make up for ditching them last night. The guilt had made you cave in. As he spoke, all that had flashed through your head was images of Rafe. You on top of Rafe, Rafe with his hands around your neck, the way Rafe’s hair felt between your fingers as you gripped on it when he got messy between your-
“Dude” Sarah’s voice snapped you out of your recurring thoughts.
You turned your head to her as you took a drag of the blunt JJ had rolled, "hmm?"
“I asked if you wanted a beer?”
You checked the time on your phone, 12pm. After enduring 3 hours on this floating nightmare, you decide you're probably deserving of one.
“uh yeah sure.” You took another hit, extending your arm to grab the cold bottle.
You bought the edge of the glass bottle up to your lips and took a swig, letting the liquid wash over your cotton mouth. A swig swiftly turning into a gulp as thirst suddenly became itself known to you. One gulp then turned to two and before you knew it the bottle dried out.
JJ eyed your every move, the feeling that had been bugging him since you got into the Twinkie that morning had now grown into full-blown concern. Your unusual behaviour was deafening with the sounds of alarm bells.
“Thirsty?” He spoke with furrowed brows, prompting Pope to chuckle though no joke had been intended.
Your eyes flickered towards JJ momentarily and instantly you knew what he was thinking. Anger disguised as adrenaline coursed through you.
“Sarah will you pass me another? Mines empty.” Defiance clear in your tone, causing a thick tension to settle over the boat.
“'s a bit it early to start chugging drinks isn’t it?” JJ speaks up again before Sarah has time to respond.
You scoffed as you turned to him once more, maintaining eye contact as you took a long drag from blunt. As you exhaled the smoke, the thick white cloud blurred his features.
“Sarah” you tried again.
You hear a small sigh as she hands you another bottle.
“Thank you” You took another swig at the bottle, hoping the liquid would force down the concoction of guilt and anger that swirled in your mouth.
“So like am I saying words out loud or is it just in my head?” JJ tried, at this point he just wanted a reaction out of you.
“You asked me to come here.” Your tone was snippy, as another burst of smoke entered your system.
“well my mistake clearly.” He was getting pissed off now, and you couldn’t deny the sick satisfaction it gave you. You knew it was unfair, he hadn’t done anything wrong, you just couldn’t help it.
Pope cleared his throat. “This is a whole lotta tension for such a little boat.” He tried to lighten the mood but his joke fell flat.
As you downed your second beer, you took another drag. “It is isn’t it?” You turned to him.
“Maybe you should have some of this JJ, it’ll help you relax.” You threw the blunt in his direction, letting it fall at his feet.
“What the hell crawled up your ass today?” JJ spat at you, picking up the blunt.
The mixture of alcohol and weed infected your system, your breathing became staggered as you suddenly became hyper aware of the layers clinging onto your body.
You don't answer. Instead choosing to stand up and remove your T-shirt. Rafe returned to your mind as you focused on the image of him mimicking your same actions. Your trousers were next to go. You pushed them down whilst picturing Rafe’s hands running down your legs.
Pope eyed Sarah and JJ who’s gaze were trained on you and your movements.
“Whatcha doing there bud?” Sarah asked watching you strip down to your underwear.
“I’m too hot” was all you said, stepping off the edge of the boat and letting yourself plunge into the cool water below you.
As you became completely submerged, you breathed out all of the air in your irritated lungs. Leaving you empty and heavy as you continued to sink. The muffled noises of the water hit against your head yet all you could hear was your thoughts racing.
As the need for air increased, the rush of thought slowed. You liked it. The weightlessness of your body, mixed with the numbing of all of your senses was peacefull. A welcome change from the overdrive your body had been running on for the past year.
You forced yourself to stay down there, pushing your physical boundaries. A split second before completely losing consiousness you emerged again, letting the air penetrate through your system and invade your insides as it worked to reboot your muscles before giving life again to the internal mayhem in your mind again.
You floated with your head above the surface and your back facing the pogues. You couldn’t find yourself to act remotely interested in what they thought about your little show.
JJ in turn felt as though he was slowly loosing his head. He felt dumbfounded because it wasn’t just your behaviour that was different, your entire demeanour and vibe was off and he failed to comprehend what could have happened in the span of 12 hours for you to return to him a complete different person.
Sarah could see the way he looked at you, he was hot on your tail and she panicked trying to divert his calculating eyes from you. “So” she spoke up loud enough so that you could hear and be part of the conversation should you wish to. “Theres a party at my house tonight.”
“Oh really?” JJ answered, evidently uninterested as he continued his stare down with the back of your head.
“Yeah Ward’s out of town with Rose and y'know Rafe, any opportunity he has to get shitfaced he’ll take it.” Relief washed over her as JJ’s eyes finally unglued from you.
At the mention of Rafe your ears perked up.
“Do you guys wanna come?” A devilish grin on her face evident as she spoke.
“A kook party? We wouldn't be welcome.” Pope answered for the three of you, prompting a scoff from Sarah.
“It’s my house too, plus I already threatened Rafe to let me invite you guys. I told him I’d snitch on him otherwise.” She shrugged.
“I’m sure he loved that” JJ added, amused at the thought of antagonising the Cameron boy.
“Well what did he say?” Three pairs of eyes turned to you as you finally spoke up from the water, now facing the boat again.
JJ couldnt help the face that your question caused him to pull. Why did you suddenly care about what Rafe Cameron had to say? Sarah already said they could go so why did it even matter?
“He said whatever as long we stay away from him.” Her answer caused Pope and JJ to roll their eyes. It had been somewhat of a lie though.
Because what Rafe had really said when Sarah had threatened him was, “whatever just stay away from us, and why don't you go ahead and bring that sexy little friend of yours.”
To which Sarah had replied with, “We wouldn’t want to hang out with you and your classist friends anyway. Also, Kiara’s with JJ, and Y/N wouldn’t even touch you with a 10 foot pole so.” Unkowing of the situation between you and Rafe.
Looking back at it now, Rafe’s coy response of “we’ll see” suddenly made much more sense to her as she shuddered slightly in disgust.
“Can’t we take a night off? I mean don’t you guys think we’ve been going a little extra hard recently?” Pope tried to reason as you swam back up towards the boat, forcing yourself on board again.
“I’ll be there.” You interjected as the water ran down your body, soaking the deck of the hms.
“we all will be.” JJ fired back, a confusing swirl of concern and anger towards your attitude fought for dominance within his head.
You ignored him once more and lay back on the sodden deck, letting your persistant introspection rest as the blanket that was intoxication comforted you. You looked up at the clouds and the weighlessness returned. Before you knew it, he sounds of Pope and Sarah chatting drifted away with the soft waves that carried the boat. You lost grip on consciousness as the sun lulled you to sleep.
Around half an hour went by before JJ spoke up. “hey" he double checked you were definitely asleep.
He took your silence as confirmation before turning to the other two. “Y'all saw that right?”
“Saw what?” Sarah played dumb even though he she knew exactly what he was referring to.
“the way she was acting” He whisper shouted, confused as to why no one else seemed remotely worried. “It was like she hated us.” He spoke with the tone of a wounded man.
“Yeah… us.” Pope muttered under his breath.
“I think she’s just tired J, she uh- she had a long night.” Sarah stiffled what had been something between a laugh and a groan.
“Nah guys look- I know her, that wasn’t normal.” JJ didn’t ease up.
“We all know her.” Pope jumped on the defensive.
“c’mon dude it’s not just me, somethings obviously wrong”
At this point Sarah wished for anything to distract him, because as much as JJ wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to academic performance, he most certainly wasn’t dumb. And he definitely knew what he was talking about when it came to you.
“Maybe It’s.. you know..” Pope waggled his eyebrows. “Her time…” he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck “of- of the month?”
“Nice Pope.” Sarah rolled her eyes.
“’s not that. Guys look listen to me somethings definitely wr-“ the ringing of his phone interrupted JJ mid sentence. Saved by the bell. Literally.
JJ grabbed his phone and his frown eased up slightly as he looked at the caller ID.
“Hey baby” his tone made it seem like whatever he had been worrying about softened it’s grip on him at the sound of her voice. “Uh huh, okay give us ten and we’ll be there.” He hung up the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.
“Kie?” Sarah asked, praying he wouldn’t resume his ramble.
“Yeah she’s finished up at the wreck, wants us to go get her.” And with that the subject was dropped.
—————————————————————————
The late afternoon breeze stroked you awake as you suddenly became aware of the voices around you.
Your eyes fluttered open and you stirred where you lay, your body stiff from the 4 hour positioning against the hard wood of the hms. You slowly sat yourself up and threw your T-shirt back on your body before turning back to glance at the now complete group of pogues. Fuck how long had you been out for.
You let your eyes linger on Kiara and JJ a couple of seconds longer than everybody else. He laughed carelessly pulling her tighter against his side. You groaned out quietly and reached for your phone, typing out that damned name.
To Rafe: Having a party and you didn’t invite me? I’m almost offended.
Almost instantly a reply came through.
Miss me already?
You rolled your eyes as he sent you another.
Figured Sarah would open her big mouth, better see you tonight ;)
“Morning Camper.” John B spoke up. You turned around to face him, every single one of them with their attention on you.
“Hey can you take me home?” You directed at no one in particular.
“You don’t wanna stay and hang out?” Kie asked, she wanted to reach you, connect with you.
“I just want to go home” You were irritated and your head hurt, you were certainly in no mood for any of this.
John B was next to try “C’mon man we haven’t all hung out like this in ag-“
“Fuck just take me home” You lashed out. “please” You added in an attempt to soften the blow.
Silence fell over the pogues as John B lifted himself up and steered the boat towards the direction of your house.
As you hopped down you muttered a joyless goodbye to everyone.
“Wait! I’ll walk you in.” JJ peeled himself away from Kiara and followed behind you, slightly speeding as you hadn’t bothered to stop and wait.
He walked beside you, waiting until you were both out of hearing distance from the others.
“why are you angry?” He spoke up.
“I’m not angry.” You tried to walk faster but a calloused hand stopped you.
“Stop. Just stop.” You heard the desperation in his voice as he turned you around to face him. “can you just talk to me? Look whatever I did to piss you off I’m sorry. You just- you were fine yesterday and now all of a sudden you hate us-“
“Stop JJ” You just wanted it to stop. The consequence of your actions pounding down on you with every word that left his mouth.
“Stop what?!” He couldn’t help but shake you.
“Talking! Stop talking!” You shoved him forcefully off of you.
“The hell's wrong with you?! dude I’m worried about you. Today’s just been so weird.” His fingers shoved themselves through his hair, a nervous habit of his.
The familiar lump in your throat began to form at the sight of your best friend.
“I’m tired J.” It wasn’t a lie, you really were fucking exhausted. You were tired of lying, tired of watching the boy you loved love someone else, tired of trudging through your life heartbroken.
“You’re lying.” He shook his head like a disappointed parent. “Why you lyin' to me?”
“JJ. I’m. Tired.” You screwed your eyes shut as your breathing began to quicken “I’m not lying I’m just-“
“Okay alright.” His embrace cut you off. “I believe you.” He hated seeing you upset. Having known you practically his whole life, he also knew that nothing ever got resolved when you got like this, so he dropped the subject.
You almost broke down then and there, using everything you had in you to move your arms around him, hugging him back.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered, the meaning behind your words far greater than he could realise.
“Hey it’s okay, we all have off days right?” He let go of you and gave you a small smile.
“Right.” Your remained court and quiet.
“I’ll see you tonight. Go rest for a bit okay?”
You nodded and began to walk away before his voice stopped you once more.
“Yo” You turned to see that he had shoved his hands in pockets. “You’d tell me if something was wrong right?” He hated that he even had to ask.
“Mhm, course” You lied straight through your teeth before turning and walking away from him uninterrupted. You knew that as soon and as your bedroom door closed behind you, you’d sink down into a pit of despair and loathing.
Whilst the resolution had given him a little comfort, something deep inside told him that this wasn’t the end of it.
Perhaps he should have left things alone, maybe then things wouldn’t have escalated to extent that they were about to.
So as he watched you walk away, JJ stood there unknowing of what was to come. Unknowing of the way things were about to change between you forever.
#jj maybank#rafe cameron#jj maybank x reader#rafe cameron x reader#jj maybank x you#rafe cameron x you#rafe x reader x jj#outer banks#obx#jj maybank angst#bsf!jj maybank
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Madre Solo Hay Dos - 1.09 // 3.05
AKA Cinematic parallels pt 2
Bonus: Mariana.EXE has stopped working
#madre solo hay dos#ana servín#mariana herrera#shitty screencap posts (TM)#do you ever think about how this is real actual canon that no one can take away from us or explain away as 'subtext'???#because I do (even from the hole I have crawled into and won't be crawling out of any time soon)#I like the contrasts in line delivery and facial expressions#mariana looks anguished because she picked the absolute WORST time to declare her love and got kicked out of ana's house for her troubles#whereas ana is calm and almost cheerful bc it was on the heels on them sleeping together#so to her it was not unreasonable to expect that the confession would have a much more positive outcome than when mariana did it#and I am absolutely OBSESSED with ana's little shrug and head shake as she says it like it was so obvious what she was gonna say#GAWD ludwika is so good I'm gonna jump off a cliff#and I included mariana's reaction bc it makes me laugh (to keep from crying) bc it never occured to her that ana might have caught feelings?#the same way (interestingly enough) that it never occurred to ana that the person mariana wanted to be free to be with was ferrán#she spent all episode thinking mariana had met someone or assuming it was elena but never mariana's ex whom she had to dump for the charade#and don't think I missed the fact that now they have BOTH broken the other's heart in equally soul-crushing ways laughcry#I do appreciate the show's commitment to keeping the playing field level between them lol#so yeah this was just a symphony of crossed wires and misunderstandings like no wonder it went so sideways it was doomed before it started#(yeah it looks like I'm just gonna tag vomit all my feelings about this scene in this post#so I don't have to rewatch the scene to make a proper one with full caps and dialogue#bc I just CAN'T with ana's 'what happened between us meant nothing to you? bc I was there and I haven't been able to stop thinking abt it'#godfuckingDAMMIT BOTH ludwika and the writers will be hearing from my lawyers like HOW IS THIS SHIT ALLOWED)#anyway... what else is there to say :((( please continue to respect my privacy while I am in deep mourning
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pairing: gojo satoru x reader summary: bestfriend!satoru has returned, fluff, pining, slightly angsty bc of pining, simp satoru hehe, oblivious reader is back again, satoru loves you !! rheya's note: continuation to this drabble bc bestfriend!satoru is everything to me !!
bestfriend!satoru who insists that you have him on speed dial because "he's the most important person in your life" but really it just satisfies him to know that he's the first one you'd call if you needed anything.
bestfriend!satoru who started off being a bit of an ass when you first met. not because he was trying to be but because he's got an ego and doesn't know how to control it, until you call him out for his shit and it sends his heartbeat all out of wack.
bestfriend!satoru who doesn't trust anyone else around you. it's not out of concern or anything, oh no. but in his expert opinion only him and the people he trusts (like suguru, shoko, or nanami) should ever get within six feet of you.
bestfriend!satoru who waits outside every class for you, leaning against the wall with a bag of your favorite snacks in his hand, glasses perched low on his nose. the smile that crawls onto his face as you walk out of the classroom and join him is practically blinding.
bestfriend!satoru who grows older thinking of nothing but you. the person most important to him, the person he would move galaxies for. and no, it's not romantic or anything. he's just your best friend.
bestfriend!satoru who realizes that he's not the only one in the world who knows that you're attractive, and has to clench his fists with a scowl as he sees other men noticing you. then he has to stop and check himself because, why on earth is he mad about it?
bestfriend!satoru who starts openly staring at you because he can't even control it anymore, eyes soft and overflowing affection as he watches you indulge in silly mundane tasks. and when you turn and catch him looking all he can do is give you a dreamy little smile. he's got no excuses but he's gonna play it off like it's something you shouldn't worry about anyway.
bestfriend!satoru who makes you his number one priority, who doesn't care about anyone else when you're in front of him. and even if you aren't around, he can't bring himself to look at anyone else. if someone comes up to him on the street, mumbling something about how he's their type and they'd like his contact info, all he does is give them a breezy wave, saying "sorry. i got someone waiting for me."
bestfriend!satoru who, when you're trying to explain something and someone speaks over you, gives you a resolute "no i'm listening." and doesn't take his eyes away from you until you've said all that you needed to. don't ever think that nobody is listening to you because you always have his attention.
bestfriend!satoru who grits his teeth as you tell him about another unsuccessful date with a man who didn't even know how to treat you right. and how could they, when they don't even know how you like your coffee or what side of the bed you prefer to sleep on? they don't know what your favorite movie snack is or about your obsession with plants or your most precious pair of fluffy socks. not the way he does.
bestfriend!satoru who has to hold himself back during your ranting, who has to keep himself from just letting go and spilling that you weren't going to find someone who loved you more than he did. to stop himself from leaning down and kissing you so hard it takes your breath away, because he's wanted to do it since he was sixteen. he was just too stupid to understand it back then.
bestfriend!satoru who chooses to wait instead, knowing that he'll be stuck with these feelings for the rest of his life, so he'd rather wait for you. because he'd hate himself if he made you uncomfortable, and if he lost the relationship he had with you now over his silly little heart. no instead, he'll keep proving himself, staying by your side and showing you even just of fraction of the devotion he knows he has for you, if it means that you'll be by his side. and hoping that one day, maybe, you'd tell him you feel the same.
#[𐐪— rheya’s writings. 𐑂]#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen angst#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru headcanons#satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk angst#gojo fluff#satoru x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#gojo satoru x you#jjk season 2#gojo drabbles#gojo#jujutsu kaisen x you
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Love Me, Please
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairings: Alastor/Lucifer/Adam/Husk/Angel/Vox/Valentino/Tom Trench/Saint Peter
Type: Scenarios/Comfort
C/TW: Swearing, blood, reader written with fem parts in mind (bc this bout periods, duh)
In which you miss your boyfriend/cling to your boyfriend and are being emotional about it. Basically—period emotions.
This is more for me bc it’s that time of the month and I desperately want some comfort lol | also Angel’s I left up to either be platonic or romantic
Alastor
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He was at yet another unremarkable overlord meeting when he felt something pulling on him. Back at the hotel, you laid on your bed wrapped in a cocoon of sorts, eyes tiredly watching your shadow pulling on one of Alastor’s shadows-which he left to keep an eye on you. Alastor’s grin turned to one of amusement—oh how needy you are when it’s that time of the month for you. The meeting finally came to a close and instead of making his way back to the hotel with a lovely stroll, he disappears in his shadows. Not before bidding a friendly farewell with his dear friend, Rosie. He materializes in the center of your room with a shit eating grin as he twirls his microphone around.
“I was hardly apart from you for more than an hour, my dear.”
Lucifer
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Lucifer had errands he couldn’t postpone today and so he made you promise to text him when you miss him and he’ll make his way right back in a jiffy! The bedroom door only closed behind him when he got a text from you. An ‘I miss you’ along with a sad face emoticon. He burst the door open, tears welling up in his eyes, as he crawled back into bed with you to hold you close. You honestly thought he was more emotional than you at the moment.
“My poor ducky! I’m sowwy!”
Adam
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Adam has been around for ages so I like to think he knows a bit about menstruation. On top of that, he has an army of baddies he likes spending time with-usually training but that's still time spent with them regardless. However he's definitely still rough around the edges since usually with his girls, he uses that to egg them on into being tougher fighters either physically or emotionally. If you're a person who's quick to be a grump or a crying mess then uhhh...just know he doesn't mean to be a dick all the time. He tries though, despite how annoying and tiresome it is. Especially since you make him feel oh so special with how you seem to demand his attention and his attention only. Right now you lay on his chest, looking on at the items set on the coffee table with a glint of amusement.
"Babe-you said pads with wings! I got that! I even made sure the chicken wings came with the good sauce."
Husk
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Husk is very vigilant so he's quickly able to come to the conclusion that you're on your period before even you realize it. It was just after he finished closing up the bar and returned to your room for a late nights rest when he smelt it. He might technically be an old man, but he's a respectful one and has been around for quite some time. He knows that small. Despite knowing you might be embarrassed to find out that he can smell it, he figured you'd be more grateful that he woke you up so you can deal with it before you wake up feeling all gross and annoyed in the morning. Plus it was worth it to almost immediately get a hug from you after being apart for a few extra hours than he liked.
"Come on. Don't wanna ruin your new pajama's now, do you baby doll?
Angel Dust
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This man was out on a much needed night out with his long time bestie, Cherri Bomb. You of course coming as his plus one that his bestie always welcomed like the supportive girly she is. He couldn't quite enjoy himself as much this time around though as he sat at in a corner booth with you hunched over your drink. You're hand gripping one of his hands as if you're afraid he's gonna leave. Despite how awkward he felt trying to comfort you, he did his best and allowed himself to be as sympathetic as much as he could.
"Toot's-if you wanna leave it's okay! You know I'll stick with ya! No need to make ya headache worse than it already is!"
Vox
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Vox still holds certain belief's and mindsets he had from his time in the 1950's. Part of that meaning him being 'grossed out' by your period and beliefs in woman faking or over exaggerating their monthly disturbances. He learned to keep his opinions to himself though, due to previous encounters with Velvette, and found it easier to just well, cater to your needs. They were easy enough for the most part. Food and beverage cravings? He's got ya covered. Cramps and aches? You're in luck because this man is basically one large heating pad. Which quickly became a downside for him because then you wanted him all the time. Didn't matter if he was working or not. He tried to put his foot down once but it only made you emotional so uhhh-
"Honey, I'll only be gone for one hour. As soon as the meeting ends, I'll lay my head on your stomach, okay?"
Valentino
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Valentino can only smirk to himself when he finds out it's now your time of the month. Which isn't hard to figure out since he woke up to you latched onto him like a koala this morning. A puff of red smoke invades your senses as a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders, a third hand coming to play with the top of your head. Valentino, spending years working with woman and people who endure this bloody cycle, knows a few...remedy's. He has his favourite solutions, obviously. Only if you're down. The last time he tried being more...persuasive with his advances to you during these times, it didn't go well-to put it lightly.
"Mi cariño~A good fucking helps with this time of the month, you kno-" ... "Or we could share some snacks. Kitty!"
Tom Trench
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ For this man I pray you are not a bitch on your period. Poor guy already has to deal with his co-star Katie Killjoy everyday. Whatever you deal with on your period though, just know your man is there and keeps your needy ass close. Such as right now, as you sit in an oversized fuzzy hoodie on Tom's couch, watching him and Katie host the latest news live. You glance down at your phone with Tom's messages open. You want to text him but you knew it wouldn't reach him anyways-they had to keep their devices on silent while they hosted. As soon as they were finished with their shift of the day however, Tom rushed to his dressing room to find you staring at the door with open arms.
"The interns told me you were waiting for me."
Saint Peter
𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This man would never admit it out loud, and if he did he would word it very carefully, but he loves it when its your time of the month. I mean he feels bad for you obviously; dealing with an inconvenience once a month even in your afterlife does not sound like any sort of blessing, but he's clingy and affectionate himself. And you clinging to him just as much? Oh it's like he's died and went to Heaven-again! Currently he lays on the couch with you in his arms, you both engulfing each other in a snuggly cuddle. He periodically checks the time-as much as he loves this he's still got a job to do. He voices this but quickly finds himself soothing you.
"I'm only going to work, sweetheart! P-please don't cry!"
This was supposed to be reader missing them but some of them became not exactly that and I’m sorry lol
I’ve had this in my drafts for a month, felt about right to finally post it. I’m also ashamed to admit, it took me way too long trynna figure out what to write for Tom’s dialogue. I love him but if I don’t know him as well as I thought 😭
#hazbin hotel#x reader#vox#hazbin hotel vox x reader#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox#saint peter#hazbin hotel x reader#st peter#hazbin hotel saint peter#husk#husk x reader#hazbin hotel husk#angel dust#angel dust x reader#hazbin hotel angel dust#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer magne x reader#valentino x reader#hazbin hotel valentino#tom trench x reader#hazbin hotel tome trench#tom trench#adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam
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