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futurewriter2000 · 3 years ago

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Hi dear! I am going to starting tomorrow i will be eating healthy food and working out so if you have any advice for me it would be a huge help! Thanks in advance :)

I would love to give you advice. I don't know if you're a beginner or already had started on your journey but I'm going to just write things that I wish I had known before I started all of this.

There's a difference between losing weight or having a healthy lifestyle because if you decide to lose weight, you should know that the thing and the whole journey is not permanent but a healthy lifestyle is permanent.

I started with losing weight last year but I started to fall in love with being active and eating healthier food that I just decided subconsciously that I will live a healthy lifestyle till the day I die.

The usual is that you should definitely drink a lot of water but you should never force yourself to drink it. I used to force myself to drink water and avoid any sort of juices and fizzy drinks and energies at all time but I had grown to the point where I shouldn't avoid certain things. Drinking a glass of apple juice a day won't make you gain 10kg. Of course, I stick to water most of the time but I still drink 1dl-2dl of apple juice or any other beverage. I drink alcohol only on occassions such as bdays or a night out. But I stick to water and sometimes I drink 750ml of lemon water to detox my body. Just a warning: you will always have to pee. Drink water but don't overdose on it.

Start your day with a good breakfast. A lot of people say that breakfast makes them sick in the morning but I really don't believe those people ate a good breakfast or put time and effort into a good breakfast. Breakfast is my favorite part of the day, favorite meal. You should find ingridients that suit you best and not force yourself to eat foods that don't suit your liking. (I enjoy eggs, tuna, avocado, cream cheese with herbs, overnight oatmeal, toast with butter...) - simple but rich.

You should also eat when you're hungry and not eat when you're not. I don't know if you're a woman or a man but in this case with women it's a bit harder to control their cravings. Yes, of course you can hold back if you're on your period or before your period or just random cravings you get. Eat chocolate, eat burgers (actually I think that burgers are amazing food to eat if you're trying to eat healthy because they contain meat (protein), vegetables (vitamins and minerals), buns (carbs) and sauce (fat) ) I don't mean to overeat on a burger I just think that eating a healthy burger once a week wouldn't make you gain any more weight than a pasta with chicken would. Basically, having cravings is normal and you should not be ashamed or feeling guilty if you overeat one day.

Also when you're working out, you should know that you will be gaining muscle weight and losing fat. The point is, you would gain more weight on the scale but lose fat that is why I don't recommend the scale. (I look like I have 75kg but I weigh 90kg bc of my muscle gain)

Stay consistent during your workouts and don't over due. If you're starting with weights, I recommend to start with your body weight for your form and then add light weights before continuing with heavier weights after weeks. I thuoght that adding a kilo every day would make me lose weight faster and gain more muscle but I fucked up my form and ended up with extreme back pain. I had to stop for a months.

Walking is the best cardio. I swear. Go for a long 10K walk every day. It's an amazing cardio. Especially after a workout (leg day or booty day- it's good so you don't have muscle pain the next day)

I don't recommend proteins. I really don't but if you do decide to eat proteins eat or drink them 2 times a week and not every day after a workout. If you drink proteins every day after a workout, you will bulk up plus natural proteins (meat, tuna, cheese, greek yoghurt) are so much healthier than those proteins shakes and shit.

If you're consistent, your results will start to show after two weeks but your weight will start to show after 3-4 weeks, a month and on. Also BE CONSISTENT! The easiest way to stay consistent for me was that I started a workout that had 2 days off in the week. So it was 3 work days, one day off, two work days, one day off, 3 work days, one day off, ....

Don't overwork your body. If you're tired, rest. You're gaining more muscles when you rest. You lose more calories when you rest. Your muscles need time to build, not always work and your body needs to process food and absorb vitamins, minerals, proteins...

Go poop every day. I know... weird fact but pooping every day is a sign of good digestion. That's why you should eat in normal portions and never starve yourself (and I should also tell you the more muscles you gain, the more food they will need). Also I drink turkish coffee in the morning because it's great to... send you to the toilet. OR! Instant cold coffee. And oatmeal is the best thing for digestion because it contains a lot of fibre.

ALSO WORKOUT WHEN YOU ARE RESTED! DON'T EVER WORKOUT IF YOU ARE SLEEPY OR WHOOZY OR EXHAUSTED. Take a nap and go workout when you're rested. And don't workout with an empty stomach because it will only make you feel weak and dizzy. Always eat and then go an hour or two hours later. There's a difference between being lazy and being tired.

In conclusion:

Drink water

Good rich breakfast

Eat when hungry, don't eat when you're not (avoid eating after 8 or 9pm)

Walk 7-10K (try every day but taking a day off to rest is also fine)

Eat more proteins than carbs but don't avoid carbs because they are your main source of energy. Natural proteins are the best but eating a protein bar twice a week is also good.

Rest is good. We support rest. Rest is productive for your body.

Poop every day.

Sleep well and never workout when you're exhausted.

Hope this helped. I know it's long but I can never write a short reply.

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angesaurus · 4 years ago

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Yesterday was nuts. This huge project we have to do isn’t even a 1/3 done. I see a lot of OT in my future this week. However, I do need to log out on time today because we have a zoom meeting with Gavin’s teacher!

Speaking of Kindergarten- so apparently the new hot trend is sending your school age child to a daycare or center (ymca etc) that you pay to basically watch your kid on an iPad all day. Some of my coworkers are doing it. Um.... at that point I’d just send him to our daycare kindergarten (which I don’t want to do because the money and it’s only half day and I feel like he will need more challenging stuff). I have zero desire to have a stranger monitor his iPad activity all day. I know not everyone is as flexible as me and can’t work from home - but these are MY coworkers who.... can. So I’m confused. I am actually really looking forward to this time alone with Gavin. It sounds like the one guy wants nothing to do with his 2nd grader or virtual school and he’s sending him to daycare. Plus, how can you be sure this “teacher” (teacher in quotes because I am not sure if they are actual certified teachers, daycare teachers that already work there (yes! Daycare workers are teachers imo) or just employees hired to sit there and make sure your kid doesn’t get up. I would be worried about Gavin not getting the support he may need while on the iPad and also, why would I pay $1000 a month for him to sit on an iPad all day when we can do it at home for free?!? I’m done paying for two - and even if I didn’t have Cecilia, I still wouldn’t pay for it. It’s giving me anxiety though because everything gives me anxiety and I am worried this will affect my job somehow and work will be like well everyone else is shipping their virtual kids somewhere else you can too come back to the office!!! And I’ll be like bruh you do NOT pay me enough to justify spending $2000 a month for the next 5 months (possibly 10 if we never go back to school!!!!!)

ALSO. The whole damn point of virtual learning is to decrease exposure and all this will do is lump more kids into a building together 🤦🏻‍♀️ I know a lot of my husbands students will be doing this because they are in low income families and there parents have zero flexible and basically have to pay to work. At this point you might as well have them in regular school! But the people around here doing it have money and are just doing it because they don’t want to deal with their kids. It’s sad. This whole system is fucked up.

ANYWAY. I ate some pasta yesterday and it made me feel better because I felt tired and dehydrated and hungry. I’ve been trying to eat more low carb but I knew they wouldn’t cut it last night while I was logged in at 8pm.

I have 4 friends. One is moving to TN in October and I’m sad about it. Another just moved to a town 40 minutes away. The other two live in NJ. I am lonely. I feel like I have no one to talk to about my day. I have no more yoga friends because yoga isn’t a thing anymore. My studio only has 2 outside classes a week (weather permitting and outside classes suck ass anyway) or 1-2 virtual a day.

I did a virtual class Tuesday and it was yin/restorative and it was fine and but I was the only person..... and I kept my mic off because Cecilia was with me being loud and shouldn’t you keep your mic off anyway in respect to the teacher but I also kept my video off because Cecilia was there and it would be distracting to the teacher I think. I know the teacher so it was nice to catch up a little (I did on mic and video to talk) but it was awkward and I was disappointed I was the only person. Might as well do YouTube. Makes me not want to do anymore streaming classes. Also the times suck. 6pm! That’s it! Come on. Give me a 7:30. I gusss I really will need to suck it up and do more YouTube or my own flows. 😭

My parents are probably taking the kids Wednesday - Friday. Which is nice because it means after work Dan and I can go run errands together like look at the couch we want (would we be allowed to test sit on it bc of covid?!? Strange times 😂) and he said he would paint the kitchen Thursday or Friday!!!! I have to work anyway but we’d probably grab dinner and have a covid date night.

I might go for a float one night too. They’re only open Wednesday - Sunday I think - so could do it Thursday night. I wish I could get Dan to do it with me!!!! 😂 my period lasted 11 days 🙃 and is finally over so it’s time!!!! I also need a hair cut badly. I have a gift card but I don’t think I’d use all of it, I’d put like half of it towards it and then pay the rest and tip really well because this pandemic sucks and I’m trying to support small businesses where I can but like I have a gift card!!!!

Guys. I say this 100x a day but I am truly so tired of living and working and having to be on 24/7.

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hamonsurveysoverdrive · 4 years ago

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Terrain

[Expect a lot of these today, I’m snowed in]’

Have you ever clicked on an ad on the side of your screen by accident? Yepp. When was the last time you were disappointed? Yesterday when my power never came back on and I had to eat stale nachos from 7-11 bc no one else was open. Do you like the smell of rain? Yes. What was the last thing you took a picture of? The lights outside of my mother's house, showing my bf she has power lol Do you know anyone that uses Sprint as their phone carrier? Probably? When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. What were you doing today at 2:15 in the afternoon? It's still just 10 am, but I'm sure I'll still just be stuck at my mom's house with nothing to do. What’s the nickname of your home state? Lone Star State. Have you ever thought about your wedding? Sure. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? THIS FUCKING COLD ASS SNOWY ASS WEATHER. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Read, writing is straining now. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? Someone else?? Idek. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yes. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? If I'm not paying, I'll go to pretty much any concert lol. But if I have to pay, I'm not going to either of these. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I'm already pretty fragile mentally right now, I don't feel like picking myself apart today. Is your house currently hot, cold or just right? MY house is freezing, bc it's 7 degrees Fahrenheit and there's no power. Hence why I'm at my mother's. Is there a Dead End road near where you live? I'm sure... Do you roll your eyes often? Yes. All the time. Literally everyone in my life talks about how much I roll my eyes. Growing up, did you see your cousins often? Unfortunately. Where was your first job? Shitty retail job. When’s your birthday? November 2. Is life a party to you? No. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. When was the last time you flew a kite? Oh god I have no clue. How long have you had Facebook? Since 2010. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I'm compassionate. Have you cuddled with someone today? No. Can you smell anything right now? Not really. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? I texted my best friend. I know she's not my relative, but she is my kids' aunt, so kinda? Do you use the toilet paper with the colourful designs on it? No. Do you wear your hair up or down most often? It's short, so it is never up. How does alcohol affect you? I'm a recovering alcoholic, so very badly. When was the last time you had a cold or flu? Beginning of January I had a cold. What was the first thing you ate today? Ritz crackers. Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? Most likely lol. Do you still buy the paper or do you get your news elsewhere? You know, I kind of miss reading the actual newspaper. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I have. It really just depends on how it's been prepared. I've had it and hated it, and I've had it and loved it. Have you worn make-up today? No. I'm literally stuck inside. Do you ever get dizzy and nauseous when you’re extremely tired? Maybe a little nauseated. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? ...Do you mean lemon bars??? Can you hear anything right now? My niece is watching some stupid YouTube video. What was the last type of meat you ate? Sausage. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue. Have you taken any medication today? Just Tums. Have you ever been suspended from school? Yes. Have you ever inhaled helium? Yes. Have you bought something that was on sale today? I haven't bought anything. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? I like his old movies. What was the last fruit you ate? Cranberries. Off the top of your head how many aisles are in the supermarket you shop at? No idea, don't care. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? Yes. Have you watched a movie this week? Yes. How far away is the closest McDonald’s from your house? Like, a 10 min drive. If that. Have you ever been to a wedding? Yes, a handful. What is your favourite kind of pasta? I like all kinds. Have you set an alarm today? No, I turned off my daily alarms lol Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? Yes. When was the last time you visited relatives? Do the ones I see on a daily basis count? Because I'm hanging out with my dad, niece, nephew, sister, and step-dad right meow. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? My college site. Did you ever play Habbo Hotel? Idk wtf that is. Do you speak any languages other than English? Not fluently. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No thanks. What colour is your shampoo? It's pink. Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? No. When was the last time you got a nose bleed? Like two months ago. How old is the mattress on your bed? It's brand new. Do you have any picture frames without a picture in them? Yes. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No, but there's a couple books. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? Out to eat with Justin for V Day. Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes. Are you proud of who you are? Sometimes. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: No. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? I was a waitress ONCE and I made terrible money bc unfortunately my face is very telling when I think someone is an idiot, and I also have an attitude problem. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? It would just be annoyed. Forget about toppings. What type of CRUST do you like on pizzas? I like crust that has seasoning on it and is soft. I hate bland crust. Have you ever stolen a road sign or traffic barrier? I convinced my high school best friend to steal a construction cone once. Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula: Who makes the better cereal? Captain Crunch. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? Neither. Is chapstick a necessity for you? Rarely. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? Lemonades or peanut butter sandwiches. If a cop was following you, would it make you paranoid? Yes. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? Yes, I'm deaf in one ear.

#surveys #survey

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spinchandkombucha · 4 years ago

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1/27

Breakfast: i had some of my smoothie but not much. Rule breaker brownie

Lunch: spring mix(i think) and veggie/bean patties

Dinner: applesauce and alfredo pasta

Snacks: ughh, I got in the car after work and ate 3 brownies 🤦🏾‍♀️. I know part of my problem is that I don't eat enough during the day, so im just eating that stuff bc I hungry. I made a chia seed pudding to snack on tomorrow, so hopefully that helps.

Workout: started with a couple laps around the neighborhood then decided to go ahead with my youtube challenge and completed Week 3, Day 2. I definitely skipped some of the abs/kinda made up my own so I wouldn't be on the floor.

Side note: I definitely didn't workout 1.5hrs. I forgot to end the workout.

I'm now watching TV and im gonna do some reading. I can't believe it's already after 7.

#health & fitness #exercise #fitness journal #fitblr #fitness journey #vegan #vegan weight loss #cardio #fitness

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coridallasmultipass · 4 years ago

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Sunflower is blooming really nicely! Also found an ornamental St. John’s Wort bloom. And some used chysalises - you can see the pupa inside the lace covering, both eaten out of by what I assume would then be a baby moth. 🦋🦋🦋🦋 Unrelated, I made a big fucking mistake. I have issues with stomach acid for just over a year now, and so I’ve been trying to find cheats to eat foods I like. For example, eating dutched/alkalized cocoa or carob in place of regular chocolate. 👌 Many people told me to try alfredo sauce for pizza since it’s not as acidic as my beloved tomato sauce. I was iffy because a lot of alfredo sauce has cheese, and I hate all forms of cheese. 🧀 So I find a random alfredo sauce, no cheese, no milk, it’s made with cashew butter! Now, I was iffy because I don’t like cashew milk, it just tastes bad even if I like cashews. So eventually, I open the jar and it smells milky, so like, I don’t wanna put this on my expensive gluten free pizza crust, let me just make pasta. So I make that, it tastes weird, but it wasn’t bad! So, whatever, I’ll finish the jar, but probably not try it again. 🍝 I wait like 2 days and decide hm, I better finish off this sauce, so I make another big bowl of pasta, and as I’m eating it, I’m kind of like? Is it just me or is this irritating my lips, like is it just because I ate spicy chips for lunch before that? My lips are visibly irritated but I blow it off. 🥔 Next day, I’m freaking out bc it’s obviously worse and painful, just like my mango experience last summer, I’m checking literally every ingredient on anything I had for mango. I was like ?? Does “natural flavours” in this fruit juice mean mango?? I dug a little more online about my mango experience, and lo and behold…. cashews. 🥜 I knew already mangoes, pistachios, and pink peppercorn all have risk for urushiol oil contamination. But I forgot the fucking cashews. I am big regretti spaghetti. This sauce is some “all raw natural paleo keto vegan gluten free” bullshit so the cashews are likely less processed and therefore more likely to have urushiol!! I’m so mad bc it’s really painful from my lips down my throat and its going to get worse for at least a full week. Fml. https://www.instagram.com/p/CEU11mhA-g3/?igshid=uwd8azaekuts

To continue, sorry, I know this is long, PLEASE. If you know anyone who has had an allergic reaction to poison oak/ivy, WARN them about mangoes, cashews, pistachios, pink peppercorn. Urushiol oil is on all those plants that grow those. Once someone has had their first allergic reaction to urushiol, each subsequent reaction gets Worse. I never used to be allergic to poison oak until I had a recluse bite and poison oak rash on the exact same spot, I was hospitalized, I missed college application deadlines that year because of it. I didn't even know these foods had risk of urushiol until last year and it is SO Bad. On your skin is one thing. But internally, you can't do much to soothe it!! Im just so upset right now because of a mix of things and this is making me so anxious because i know im not even at the peak of it yet. These reactions often begin a few days after exposure, and then last at least a week. I couldnt open my mouth more than for a straw last year so im just hoping it wont get as bad this year but its just so uncomfortable to have pain in your throat and esophagus and lips and just ughhhhh.... big vent here sorry, I just really want people to be aware of this happening because im so good about checking ingredients on everything and this still happens!

#urushiol #Post.exe #Cori.exe #im so fucking anxious rn im a mess and i have therapy in like 20 mins and i didnt want this session to be about my allergies just ughhh

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gore-hovnd · 5 years ago

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Don’t Breathe: Part Two

As per request of @hydra-trash-spot

Warning For: Toxic/Controlling Relationship, Emotional/Physical Abuse

(Also, side note, I’m literally incapable of proofreading unless things are in post format so please excuse my typos pff)

(Side Note pt 2, electric boogaloo; I edited it and now it’s not as BAD. Idk if this is gonna retag but if it does I’m SORRY, bc I’m awful and I’ve been fixing the formatting smh)

Sweat droplets rolled between his shoulders in a way that made his skin crawl as he shifted in his seat. Staring blankly at the paperwork in his hand, Jack began to read the paragraph at the top of the page for the fifth time.

Of course there was maintenance happening on the building’s AC unit, of course today was the hottest day of the week, and of course Brock felt the need fuck him over in more ways than one by not letting him call off work for that day. When he looked at it from Brock’s standpoint as a commander, Jack understood why. The STRIKE team had an urgent mission come up, they would be leaving for it in three days, and they needed everyone to be ready. But when he looked at it from Brock’s standpoint as his boyfriend, Jack knew it was just Brock being the biggest dick imaginable at that point. It hadn’t been enough to drag him around the house in a dog collar that left dark, saturated bruises in its wake and made speaking a chore. It wasn’t enough to humiliate him by claiming that the bruising across Jack’s nose and beneath is eyes was from him coming into unfortunate contact with the shower rod the night before. And it wasn’t enough to make Jack come to work in a heavy jacket, zipped all the way up, in ninety degree weather to hide the bruises over his throat. Because nothing was ever enough and despite trying to stay out of Brock’s line of sight all day, Jack knew he’d always be Brock’s primary target.

“I need you to pick up training with Cap today.” Brock stated plainly while JAck shared a lunch that only one of them ate.

Jack recoiled, looking up from the slowly cooling chicken pasta in front of him. He’d only gotten three bites in before he decided that it hurt too much to swallow.

“Why?” Jack grumbled, his voice low and weak from both the abuse to his vocal cords as well as disuse. He hadn’t said a word to Brock all day, the anger in him once again rising, bashing against the cage of his resolve like a wild beast trying to break free.

“‘Cause Pierce called me about havin’ another meeting this morning. I don’t got a choice here, Jackie, I already told the big guy you’d be there.” Brock explained as he scrolled through his emails at his computer.

“Why not jus’ fuckn’ reschedule.” Jack grumbled under his breath, rising from his seat and throwing his lunch into the bin by Brock’s desk with more force than necessary. The combination of the action and his attitude had Brock looking up from his work, staring at Jack with an irritated look despite the upward turn of his lip.

“What was that, mouth?” He asked and Jack hesitated for a second. He could challenge it, could try to put Brock in his place, but the lingering threat of the previous night’s events bred an unfamiliar fear in his chest and he pulled his gaze away.

“Nothin’.” He mumbled, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets before making his escape.

***

Jack sat in the gym for twenty minutes waiting for Steve.

And in that twenty minutes he contemplated what the hell had just happened. He’d never been afraid of Brock before. Upset? Yes. Wary? Of course. Angry? Abso-fucking-lutely, but afraid? Never. And whatever was causing that fear to fester in his chest was making him sick.

The doors to the gym opened and Jack broke from his thoughts, staring up to meet the bright, happy smile on Steve’s face that oh-so-awfully contrasted from his own bitter mood in a way that was borderline annoying.

“Been a while,” Steve chuckled, offering his hand to help Jack get up from his place on the floor. He took it, pulling himself up and suppressing a hiss of pain as his body ached. That brief tumble down the stairs last night must’ve taken more out of him that he originally thought.

As the two of them readied themselves; stretching, wrapping their hands, and ultimately building dread in Jack’s stomach, he couldn’t help but lose himself again.

“Are you gonna wear that the whole time?” Steve piped up, pulling Jack back to reality for the third time in the past hour.

“What?” He asked, forcing his shoulder to stretch despite the strain of his muscle.

“That jacket.” Steve elaborated, gesturing at him to emphasize.

Jack glanced down at it, somehow momentarily forgetting he had it on, before shrugging with a nod.

“Yeah.”

That was all he chose to say before the two of them stepped into the ring. There he stood: in a jacket, white basketball shorts, and black athletic ankle supports, staring at Steve who wore something similar, just with a tank top instead.

The two of them sparred for a bit and from the very beginning, Jack knew it wasn’t going to end well for him. The soreness that blanketed him only seemed to get heavier the longer he tried to force his body to move. It slowed his reactions, made it impossible to keep up with the living god that was Steve Rogers. Jack didn’t think he could take goddamn Captain America down even on a good day so trying to on a day where all of his muscles were simultaneously on fire definitely wasn’t going to work in his favor.

And try as he might, one particularly well timed hit to his ribs had him on the floor. When he looked at the clock, he’d found that they’d been at it for a solid forty-five minutes and Jack was almost impressed with himself. That is until Steve fussed over him like a damn mother hen.

“Shit, Rollins are you alright?” Steve asked, dropping to his knees to seemingly try and get a closer look at Jack who, in turn, waved him off as he spit his mouthguard out onto the floor.

“M’ fine,” Jack wheezed unconvincingly as he pushed himself up with one arm, the other wrapped securely around his chest. Steve didn’t seem convinced, deciding to go for the jacket which had Jack pulling away reflexively.

Steve paused, staring at him for a moment before he pulled the collar of the jacket down and all Jack could do was look up to avoid seeing the concerned look on Steve’s face. He let Steve unzip the jacket and pull it from his shoulders, getting a closer look. Even the gentle grazes of Steve’s fingers over the bruises on his neck had him flinching, less from actually feeling any pain and more from expecting it. What the hell had Brock done to him? And to think, for a few delusional hours, he thought he was lucky to have that man.

“What happened to you?” Steve asked but Jack didn’t answer, responding by shrugging the jacket back over his shoulders and forcing himself to stand despite how much his body protested. “Did someone try to kill you?”

For a single, cursory moment, Jack paused while his brain took time to do a hard reset. The suggestion felt so ridiculous that he wasn’t sure what else to do but play along with it. So he shrugged and watched as Steve shook his head in disbelief.

“Did you file a report?” He asked and Jack released a bitter laugh.

“What? Hell no.” He snorted. He knew that Steve’s mind was somewhere else entirely but he couldn’t help imagining what it would be like trying to file a report against Brock. He’d be killed, likely. Pierce already hated their relationship, said it was a “conflict of interest.” Jack thought it was asinine at first but now he was beginning to think Pierce, slimy bastard that he was, was right.

“You need to, this is important!” Steve demanded. Jack wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to react and instead just shrugged it off with a quiet ‘s’ fine.’ only to earn himself a frustrated sigh from Steve.

“It’s not fine, it’s dangerous! You know what we do, it’s...our line of work isn’t exactly a forgiving one.” Steve huffed. ‘Tell me about it,’ Jack’s thoughts chimed as he shook his head, staring at Steve with a tired look.

“I gotta get back to work. STRIKE team ships out in three days, be ready.” His voice was monotonous and bland as he turned to head back toward the locker rooms. That’s when Steve grabbed his arm and a rush of adrenaline tore through his body with the force of a fire hose as he turned to throw a punch that Steve quickly dodged, releasing him in the process. Jack didn’t know when he started trembling but now that he noticed, he couldn’t calm his nerves. The sad look that Steve gave him did nothing more than ignite an angry fire within him and suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the feeling that he wanted to fight again.

“You don’t have to do this alone, I can help you.” Steve offered, taking a step forward and offering a gentle hand, only to have Jack grab hold of his wrist with an unnecessarily intense grip.

“Ever stop to think I don’t need your fuckin’ help, Rogers?” Jack growled. “Ever stop to think I might just need your head outta’ my ass?”

With a grimace, Jack shoved Steve back and turned without a second thought, zipping his jacket up as he retreated to lick at the wounds rubbed raw by Steve’s pity.

***

Going through a week long mission with Steve, while simultaneously trying to hide the bruises Brock gave him, had been absolute hell. So it was understandable that all Jack wanted to do when he got home was sleep. Unfortunately for him, all Brock wanted to do was fuck.

“I’m serious, no.” Jack growled, pushing Brock’s hand from his hip only for that same imposing hand to latch right back on.

“Oh, c’mon, Jackie, I need you inside me.” Brock purred, licking at Jack’s throat. By then, the bruises had become a sickly yellow and were faint enough for Jack to stop wearing hoodies and jackets to hide them. The rest of his body healed accordingly and things could go back to being relatively normal, something Jack wasn’t sure if he wanted. Because Brock made him hate normal.

“I said I don’t want to.” Jack said more firmly this time, finally managing to shove Brock back on his haunches. Pushing himself up on his elbows, Jack held Brock’s glare before his commander finally scoffed and stood up from their bed with a huff.

“You know, you seriously make me wanna fuckin’ hit you sometimes.” Brock growled as he left the room, undoubtedly planning to sleep on the couch. He always slept on the couch when he was sick of looking at Jack, when seeing Jack made him angry. He knew this, he knew Brock got mad when he said no, knew that Brock didn’t like it when he refused anything, especially sex, and knew that Brock wanted to hurt him because of it. But Brock had never actually said it aloud before. And for whatever reason, actually hearing it was unsettling.

He didn’t sleep well that night and when he woke up the next morning, he found that Brock had seemingly dropped the entire thing. He was bad about that, about ignoring any sort of argument they had, but Jack didn’t really have any other choice but to deal with it.

Over time, Brock got worse. Just as he always had. After a while his threats stopped being threats and he stopped warning Jack all together. Sometimes Jack could anticipate it but most of the time, it felt entirely random. Brock would smack him in the back of his head, shove him around, punch him, even, if he was in a particularly bad mood. And Jack was at a loss.

There was a war waged in Jack’s mind, his emotions tumbling between hating Brock and adoring him. Brock was a terrible man; he was violent and volatile and fear had become a familiar friend to Jack in the months that had passed since the choke chain incident. But every few days, he would be gentle and kind and he’d make Jack feel like nothing short of a god. And for those few, fleeting hours, Jack was on cloud nine.

But the good times never seem to last and eventually he was sick of making up excuses to stay.

“Come on, Jack, yer gonna leave over that? Over a love tap?” Brock growled as he followed Jack through their home.

“Does it matter?” Jack grumbled, shoving some of his clothes into an old backpack. “I’m a grown man, I can leave if I want to.”

This response, however, wasn’t good enough. Brock’s hand was almost instantly around his arm and Jack recoiled, throwing his elbow back and landing a hit across Brock’s mouth, effectively bloodying his lip.

“Sonuva-” Brock barked, staggering back when Jack landed another hit on his face. Spitting a mixture of blood and spit out onto the dark carpet, Brock wiped a hand across his chin before glaring at Jack, who was frozen. Multiple thoughts raced through his mind in that moment and somehow he was both proud of and angry with himself. But both of those were overshadowed by the terror that crashed through him like a startling rush of electricity when Brock advanced on him.

The two of them fumbled around for awhile, battering and bruising each other until eventually, Brock got his hands around the back of Jack’s head pulled, bringing his knee up to collide with Jack’s nose.

A sickening crunch filled the air and the two of them paused as Jack covered his face, panting while he tried to gather himself. Sitting down on their bed, leaving a bloody handprint on their white comforter, Jack tried to sniff but he couldn’t. Blood dripped down his mouth the same way it had months prior when Brock had pulled him off of the couch and all he could do was wonder to himself why he was stupid enough to stay so long.

“Let’s go.” Brock growled under his breath, taking hold of Jack’s bicep and forcing him to stand like he was a child. Jack shrugged him off, even going so far as to shove him away, before the two of them trudged out to their car.

The ride to the hospital was silent and when they got there, Jack refused to explain how it happened. It wasn’t that he was trying to protect Brock, he was just so exhausted… He didn’t have the energy to make up excuses or answer any questions.

Luckily, it only took fifteen minutes for a doctor to be made available for him. Unluckily, Brock followed him back into the room. And as if his broken nose wasn’t punishment enough, Brock continued to berate him.

“You jus’ dunno when to quit do you?” Brock growled, his arms crossed over his chest. His lip was swollen, the gash that ran through it shining angry and red. Drops of blood stained the collar of his grey shirt and in that moment the two of them stared at each other with equally intense looks of pure hatred.

“What?” Jack snapped, trying desperately to convince himself that Brock wasn’t worth a trip to prison.

“You don’t know how to fuckin’ quit, Jack! You always do this! You piss me off, then gimme that pissy little look when I get mad! This shit wouldn’t happen if you didn’t get me so fucking riled up!” Brock barked and all Jack could do was laugh incredulously, disbelief filling him as he stared Brock in the eye.

“No, this shit wouldn’t happen if you weren’t such a fucking psychopath.” Jack hissed and just like that, Brock was on him again. First, there was a knee to his ribs, then a fist under his jaw, but Jack wasn’t going to lay down and let Brock beat on him anymore. He’d finally decided that everything Brock did to him was complete and utter bullshit. It wasn’t warranted and he wasn’t ungrateful when he got upset about it. And for the love of God, he didn’t fucking deserve it.

So he fought back. He kicked and he growled and he fought with everything he had. Landed a few good hits too. At some point, the doctor must’ve come in to the two of them fighting and called security. They pried Brock off of Jack, his eye swollen shut and his lip re-busted-open. Jack grimaced, wanting nothing more than to pounce on him while he was restrained. But the security guards were too quick to get him out of the room.

The doctor didn’t ask Jack any questions, simply got him cleaned up, reset his nose, and offered him a phone to call someone. Jack accepted the offer with a grateful, albeit quiet, ‘thank you.’ And he sat for an hour contemplating whether or not he should do what he wanted to do. He didn’t really have much of a choice, though, did he?

“Hello?” Answered Steve’s familiar voice over the other line.

“If I ask you to come pick me up from the hospital will you promise not to ask questions?” Jack asked. He never was good at easing into a conversation.

“The hospital? What happened? Are you hurt?” Steve immediately started and all Jack could do was sigh and weigh what options he would have if he decided to hang up.

“Steve, please.” He begged quietly. He wasn’t proud of the pleading tone in his voice but he couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t hide it. Not anymore.

Steve didn’t say anything for a long time. The quiet that fell over them was the kind that was deafening and suffocating at the same time and he wanted nothing more than to scream just to fill the space. But before he could, Steve started talking again.

“I’ll be there.” He said softly.

And he was. In twenty minutes, Steve was at the hospital and the second he saw Jack, it looked like his entire world had been crushed. An odd look of knowing crossed his face as he flicked his head and without a second thought, Jack followed.

After another wordless car ride, Jack found himself in a new place. The unfamiliar space of Steve’s apartment left him feeling vulnerable and exposed, like a rabbit in a field of rabid dogs. But Steve’s gentle hand guided him and it sickened him that his mind was already waiting for that softness to be replaced with anger and pain. But nothing happened and Jack scolded himself for thinking something would.

They sat on the couch with the same silence that had hovered over them on the phone weighing tension on their shoulders and Jack once again felt the urge to make noise so it wouldn’t feel so heavy on his chest. But just as before, Steve came to the rescue to fill the silence before Jack had to.

“I guess this is how Bucky always felt when he saw me all beat up.” Steve tried to chuckle and Jack couldn’t help the little snort that left him.

“Guess so.” Jack grunted in response, sighing as he refused to meet Steve’s eye. It was then that an arm slowly wrapped around him and with cautious curiosity, Jack let it happen, willing himself not to flinch. He half expected other advances to be made but nothing ever came, and he liked it that way.

Steve turned the T.V. on and for a while, Jack zoned out while late night sitcoms flashed on screen with mediocre, cheesy jokes filling the quiet with a comfortable drone. And eventually, as Jack grew too tired to ignore the exhaustion any longer, he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder and found a relieving sense of peace when Steve leaned on him too.

And for the first time since he’d met Brock fucking Rumlow, he felt safe.

#mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #whump #whump prompt #fic sequel #dark fic #hydra trash party #tw: abuse #tw: toxic relationship #jack rollins #brock rumlow #crossbones #hydra husbands #rumrollins #beaufic

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kylorenpunk · 6 years ago

Note

Payback is a bitch. Do them all.

“itAy thanks for curing my evening boredom

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I think it was my friend Elli during a service project or my friend when we went to the movies (we occasionally pretend we’re a couple when we go to the movies lmao)

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy. It was super hard to make friends during grade school. But if you put me with the right people I can be outgoing. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My friend group tomorrow. I think we’re playing smash again? 4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so? I have no idea tbh. I know I was a bitch when I was younger though. Hopefully I don’t put off those vibes now 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

The only time we interacted I was drunk so no lol. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Tattooed, nerdy vibes, can make me laugh, nice eyes, idk I just like guys ok7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

HA. Nope. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Romantically? or friendship? Also bold of you to assume whoever does these are straight. To answer, my friends who are all homies. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends on the subject. I am always down to make sex jokes but don’t fucking tell me the shit you did with your SO the other night.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I’m always down for deep convos tbh so I do this frequently. I think the last full length deep convo I had was with Jessica though? 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“LMAO” to Joey bc I rick rolled his ass. Bitch apparently I’m always texting you? 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

According to spotify it’s: Alexander HamiltonGoodbye Yellow Brick Road (Sara Bareilles’ cover) When I Was Your Man (Aaron Tveit’s cover) The Greatest Show The number one song is one I don’t listen to any more so I’ll replace that with the song I’m listening to “How Far I’ll Go”

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

God yes. That’s the BEST feeling. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Not really miracles. But I do believe in luck in a sense 15. What good thing happened this summer?

My birthday. Going to Chicago. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Sure I’ll kiss my mirror again. Sorry y’all I don’t kiss and tell.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Absolutely.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

I have had so many I don’t remember my first crush. And I know for a fact I didn’t start talking to crushes till the middle of high school19. Do you like bubble baths?

No I hate baths. I think it’s gross. 20. Do you like your neighbors?

I like their dogs. Especially the beautiful pit I get to dog sit 21. What are you bad habits?

I get very nervous very easily. I’m unsure of myself. I’m also messy.22. Where would you like to travel?

New York and Europe 23. Do you have trust issues?

Who doesn’t? 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

When I go to sleep.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My stomach. 26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check my phone. It’s really bad. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Neither. I like my skin color even though I’m pale as fuck. 28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I’ll have to say my friends Yara and Josephine. Love all my other friends and no offense to y’all I’m just really self conscious 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

LMAO one basically did the other day. At least he regrets how he treated me. That’s some tea. 30. Do you ever want to get married?

Hell yeah. Am I currently ready for it? Hell naw. 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

She’s too long. I really want to cut her but that costs money. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Chris Hemsworth and Anne Hathaway. Or Vanessa Hudgens33. Spell your name with your chin.

done. That was strange? 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I did soccer for one season when I was 6. I spent most of the time playing with my hair. That was the end of my athletic career. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV bc we have netflix and hulu 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Tons of times. It’s my brand. 37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I’ve been doing shitty mouth pops recently. I also start rambling about my day.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Someone that puts up with my bullshit 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

TJ Maxx. Ulta. Target. I don’t shop often. 40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m outta that shit hole. Have been for 5 yrs. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Of course. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m listening fully and don’t really have anything to contribute yet. 43. Do you smile at strangers?

Working at a hotel has forced me to. I hate it. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE MOTHERFUCKERS - the ocean freaks me out45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Needing to pee, hunger or work 46. What are you paranoid about?

EVERYTHING. Mainly the future tho 47. Have you ever been high?

Nah. Not opposed to it though. 48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yep. I get really touchy. It’s weird. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Stalk people’s social medias? 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey 51. Ever wished you were someone else?

I wish I was Vanessa Hudgens. 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I won’t write it here 53. Favourite makeup brand?

NYX. Cheap and good. 54. Favourite store?

Target 55. Favourite blog?

My own. 56. Favourite colour?

Pink or Green. Depends on the day.57. Favourite food?

Anything with pasta or rice 58. Last thing you ate?

pasta 59. First thing you ate this morning?

beef jerkey. I have weird cravings60. Ever won a competition? For what?

For being the world’s most emotional bitch 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Hell no. Stay in school kids. 62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope.63. Ever been in love?

Yep. Still don’t kiss and tell. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I know I just said I don’t kiss and tell but this isn’t talking about the person. Wet. Gross. Sloppy as fuck. They were shit at kissing. 65. Are you hungry right now?

Nah. 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I have one tumblr friend. He’s a pal. 67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Twitter. I’ll make one for this blog soon. 69. Are you watching tv right now?

No I’m listening to Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. 70. Names of your bestfriends?

Kim, Michelle, Jessica71. Craving something? What?

Nothing. 72. What colour are your towels?

Pink and green72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

It used to be two until I got a new giant pillow this week. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have them. I don’t sleep with them. 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Four. I just counted. 75. Favourite animal?

Meerkats 76. What colour is your underwear?

Pink. 77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Strawberry79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey and pink 80. What colour pants?

Dark grey and green - I’m in house clothes I don’t match 81. Favourite tv show?

Jane the Virgin 82. Favourite movie?

Hairspray 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls. The second one was trash 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Bruce87. First person you talked to today?

Joey?88. Last person you talked to today?

Joey. What the hell. 89. Name a person you hate?

Hm they don’t need their name here90. Name a person you love?

My brother91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Someone from work 92. In a fight with someone?

Nah I don’t deal with that bs 93. How many sweatpants do you have?

None. I do leggings tho ( I think I have 7 or 8)94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

2 hoodies 95. Last movie you watched?

The Green Book96. Favourite actress?

Anne Hathaway? 97. Favourite actor?

Mark Hamill 98. Do you tan a lot?

I burn a lot. I’m pale99. Have any pets?

No 100. How are you feeling?

Alright. Kinda pumped bc my fav cover of Come Together came on (from the Justice League movie)101. Do you type fast?

Yes but this is still taking me a while to get through 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Hell yeah. No tea is being spilled tho103. Can you spell well?

If I have a pen and paper I’m decent. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I miss some ppl yeah. Adulting sucks bc you can’t see everyone all the time105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Lol that was the only rebellious thing I would do in high school 106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Not that I know of? 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes I love horseback riding 108. What should you be doing?

Studying for the GRE109. Is something irritating you right now?

Boring drama stuff. I won’t go into details. I’ll get over it. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Everyone has. 111. Do you have trust issues?

Sis you already asked this. Yes. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My mom? I was crying bc I could fit into old shirts 113. What was your childhood nickname?

Family calls me Kari. Friends call me Rina114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yep. Last month. 115. Do you play the Wii?

We play Netflix on the wii116. Are you listening to music right now?

“I am Woman” by Jordan Sparks 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Only from a can. I hate soup. 118. Do you like Chinese food?

Fuck me up with crab rangoons 119. Favourite book?

Eragon120. Are you afraid of the dark?

I don’t like not being able to see. So sure. 121. Are you mean?

I’m a dick to those I care about. Sorry. 122. Is cheating ever okay?

Absolutely not. Dump their ass. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Nope. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in infatuation at first sight125. Do you believe in true love?

Not sure 126. Are you currently bored?

I was till I started this 127. What makes you happy?

anime, superheros, nerdy shit, music and makeup 128. Would you change your name?

No. I used to want to as a child. 129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer. 130. Do you like subway?

No. It’s gross. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Politely decline132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Already answered. 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“Yoko Ono, she got that Yoko OnoYou know that shit that made John Lennon go soloKnow that shit gotta be lethalIf that pussy broke up The Beatles” - Jay Z

Murder by Justin Timberlake (Featuring Jay Z)134. Can you count to one million?

I could. I don’t want to though.135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Not sure. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed. 137. How tall are you?

Five foot. Three inches. 138. Curly or Straight hair?

My hair is wavy. I like both.139. Brunette or Blonde?

I’m a brunette140. Summer or Winter?

summer141. Night or Day?

day 142. Favourite month?

october143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but i’ve considered. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark chocolate. I’m old. 145. Tea or Coffee?

tea - coffee gives me the shits 146. Was today a good day?

It was decent. 147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars148. What’s your favourite quote?

“It’s not who we are underneath, it’s what we do that defines us.” - Batman Begins 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes and No150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)

GRE prep book “Directions:” It said more but my fingers hurt from typing all day.

#me #about me #ask #I underestimated this #I'm sorry mason

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sunnyxnala · 2 years ago

Text

Sunday, 10/16/22

8am - I woke up bc my bf and I originally made plans to meet for breakfast but he overslept :( so I ended up getting ready and doing some work until he finally woke up. When he did wake up, we were about to hang out for a little bit before I headed out to grab food with other friends, but then he had a tournament for his valorant team

12:40pm - I met some friends and ate at bplate! I’m not exactly sure what I ate bc bplate food is… interesting… I made myself a salad, ate a flatbread w pork and cheese on it, and another dish that had meat

2pm - I went back to my dorm and my friend invited me to study with her at a cafe in Westwood! I forgot what the cafe was called, but I got a matcha latte w vanilla syrup there, it was really good. I’m so happy I got the chance to see her again bc I haven’t seen her since I’ve had to drop my dance team sobs

5pm - I finished my work and rushed back to the hill to meet a friend for dinner. He was feeling down in da dumps and wanted me there to vent, and it honestly turned into a great time. I always appreciate meeting up with him, even though we don’t meet often. Whenever we do, our conversations are always heartfelt and fun. We ate at epicuria and I got pasta + pork and grits

8pm - I left dinner and met with yet another friend for dinner pt. 2. This friend was also down in da dumps and wanted to vent, something about week 3 got everyone in da dumps man. Bc I already ate, I just ate dessert at whatever place he wanted to eat at. Ironically, he also chose epicuria 💀

9pm - my friend and I dispersed since I had to head back to my building and work on some homework and prepare myself for a quiz and presentation tomorrow. I think the exhaustion from last week finally caught up to me + other external personal reasons, and I ended up sobbing for a bit. Like, actually sobbing. My face is very puffy now

10:30pm - I met up some friends in a study lounge, but they noticed that I was in no condition to be social. They all hugged me and reassured me and told me to go rest, so I headed back to my dorm to rest. I am extremely grateful to have them and their support

11pm - I rested a bit in my dorm and am now finishing up any loose ends so that I’m prepared for my quiz and presentations tomorrow

overall I rate today 6/10, kinda bad day. Hopefully sleep will help

xoxo nala

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sept-dix · 7 years ago

Text

college au! aron

summary: you and aron are uni roommates genre: fluff a/n: requested; i feel like i’m trying to singlehandedly end the aron drought here lol hope u enjoy!!

yknow the myth about art students living off of virtually no sleep and no money is not entirely false

as a visual arts major who’s only still alive thanks to 20 cent instant ramen and the discovery of the red bull + coffee mixture, you would know

what you didn’t know was that journalism majors had it almost worse, bc with all news platforms having to publish their stuff at the break of dawn it was a given that they had to slave away while the rest of the world was asleep in order to even get something meaningful done during internship periods

the workload is also intense so even during non-internship periods they’re buried in work

you learnt this (and more) from aron

at the start of your second year in uni your existing roommate had dropped out of college, leaving you with an empty apartment which was both too big and too expensive

and as you’d been aimlessly walking around your campus after school one day trying to think of possibilities for a better living arrangement, you’d fatefully come across an advertisement for someone looking for a roommate

the thing that had caught your eye was the shockingly low rent

given the rlly cramped and small nature of the actual flat of course the rent wasn’t unexpected but you couldn’t care less about space at that moment

so yeah, you called and this guy called aron picked up and you two became roommates just like that

aron was so relieved and thankful when you called him and eventually became his roommate bc just like you, he was rlly tight on money

but let’s just say he just got even more thankful with time

when he first opened the door to you it would be an understatement to say that he was surprised

because well..,,, he looked at you once and got overwhelmed by how good looking you were

and you were moving in all your thousand of art supplies and the whole time you kept apologising bc you had to make so many trips and you kept getting in his way and he thought that was so cute

that first night you insisted that you make dinner as thanks for him letting you be his roommate

but he insisted that he make dinner as thanks for you wanting to be his roommate in the first place

so the both of you just ended up making dinner together

it was nothing fancy you guys just made pasta lol

but you two had so much fun making it!!!

you were exchanging pasta sauce recipes and tips with each other and aron tried so hard to stop himself but every now and then he kept finding himself thinking about how cute you were

somewhere in the back of his brain, there were warning sirens ringing trying to tell him that he shouldn’t be thinking like this about you because you were his roommate,,, it would mess things up big time

but what can i say aron ignored those sirens lol

both of you were naturally very sensitive of each other’s needs and preferences so it was almost too easy for you two to fall into a comfortable routine

like you’d wake him up before you left for your 9am class on tuesday because he had a 9.30 one

and he’d do the same for you on thursday when the situation was reversed

it just so happened that you came home earlier on 3 days of the week and he came home earlier on the rest of the days

so you’d cook the both of you dinner when you were back first and he’d do the same when he’s back first

and towards the end of the month there were always those few days when you guys had to make do with instant ramen lol rip

you two never rlly meant for this to happen but you guys ended up bonding a lot through these shared dinner times

admittedly it wasn’t too often that the two of you actually ate dinner at the same time

but when those times did come, you two always ended up just talking or watching a tv show together

as it so happened you guys loved the same tv shows so that’s great

and he loved hearing about your art stuff bc well he’s an aspiring journalist and he loves to hear about everything

and you loved hearing about what he’s studying just bc you never really knew much about it before and he made it seem super interesting

you didn’t know this but during all those times aron was thinking to himself ok so not only are you super cute you are also interesting and ambitious and passionate and nice???? not fair

but it wasn’t exactly that he had a crush on you or anything

lol jk he had a crush on you

a small teeny tiny one that grew concrete and huge over one fine weekend

which wasn’t so fine because well,, aron was sick

he was down with the flu and he had a high fever and he couldn’t even get out of bed

not only was he physically sick but yknow when people are sick and away from home they get extra homesick and emo

so yeah he was feeling like shit in all aspects of the word

and he had gotten sick when he was still living with his old roommate

that time he had just had a slight case of the flu he didn’t even have fever or anything

but his roommate had avoided him like he had the plague or something just bc he didn’t want it to spread to him

so naturally aron expected you to do the same and stay far away from you but what did you do instead?

that’s right

you made him soup

and you stuck a thermometer in his mouth

and you forced him to tell you any medical allergies he had so you could go out and buy him flu medicine

and then you came back with the medicine and forced him to eat it with soup and then stayed by his side for another 15 mins just to make sure he was okay

15 mins might seem like a short time but considering the huge assignment you had due in 2 days which you hadn’t even started on, 15 mins was as good as half a day

and i guess you could say that’s when aron knew he was in trouble

you’re cute and nice and interesting and everything but you’re also good at taking care of him

it’s all too much for him

so he decided to consult his bro minki on the situation

and minki being minki told aron to confess asap in the most corny and cringey and extravagant way

and aron wanted to follow that advice (at least a part of it) but when he got home that day and saw you smiling at your phone for god knows what reason

he realised that he knew all sorts of things about you but he didn’t know whether you had someone you liked or someone you were already dating or whatever

and of course he was too nervous to ask you about it at that moment bc you were already smiling at your phone meaning there was a high chance you were already being sent lovey dovey text messages from the love of your life

but you would have told him if you had a boyfriend right?

right?

well idk but that’s all that went through aron’s mind that day

and he tried to look for more signs that you were already taken throughout the course of the next few days but he didn’t catch anything else except for that one smiling at your phone event

so he reported this back to minki and minki all but hit him

“why tf you doing all this when i clearly told you to just conFESS??”

so aron tried another time

this time, thankfully, you weren’t doing anything suspicious like smiling at your phone

you were just on the floor in your room working on a huge canvas painting for one of your classes

as soon as you noticed him walking in you asked him his opinion on the piece

“it’s supposed to be a study of movement, i’m not exactly sure if this is what my professor wants but what do you think?”

“oh well it’s great”

bc duh aron doesn’t know anything about how a proper study of movement should look lol

he just stood there watching you work for a little longer before you noticed him

“is there a reason why you’re just standing there looking at me, aron?”

“no! i mean well, yes, actually. yeah, i mean yes”

you chuckled at his clumsiness and that put him at ease for a moment

“ok then, what is it?”

he took a deep breath and

“i was just wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me this saturday?”

“.... aron are u ok we always have dinner together on saturdays unless one of us is busy or smth lol”

“yes but this wouldn’t be our usual dinner. i could bring you to that japanese place down the road from here and we could perhaps catch a movie afterwards?”

“... are you asking me out?”

“yeah i guess you could say that”

the few seconds you spent looking at him then almost made him pass out bc they convinced him you were going to say no but-

“sure, it’s a date!”

needless to say the date went great bc well,, it isn’t an unknown fact that you two match each other super well

in fact, it goes so well that one date turns into two, which turns into a few

and before you know it, you’ve been introduced to minki as the person aron’s in an actual relationship with

aron finds out months later that the moment you started falling for him had been the same one when he’d been so sick that he was out of his mind

and he had looked up at you and whined that “he would have really missed his mommy if you hadn’t been there to make him soup”

that’s so cute

soon you guys become one of the established College Couples in campus

with him walking you to your classes all the way in the arts building

and you hanging around in his editing studio while he types away about something or the other

and the both of you always grabbing dinner together at the end of the day

what can i say uni isn’t so bad when you’ve got someone like aron by your side hehe

#nu'est #nu'est scenarios #nu'est imagines #nu'est w #nu'est w scenarios #nu'est w imagines #kwak aron #nu'est aron #kwak aron scenarios

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kitwilsonsass · 7 years ago

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anyway at some point i should probably ramble about my trip to boston?? so i’m gonna go ahead and do that??

like right off the bat let me just say the worst [art was actually GETTING to mass. my train was supposed to leave at 9:55am, and around 7:50 i got a text saying it was delayed until 1:03pm. we arrived around noon, and gradually my anxiety about going on the trip turned into anxiety of NOT getting on the trip as the board kept delaying... and delaying... and delaying...

....and then it started pouring out. crazy wind. murmurs the train lost signal and all contact with the station. after i finally got on (at 3:00pm), my aunt texted me that all that? yeah. that was a tornado warning. wat.

i got a pair of seats to myself for most of trip. fought with my wifi. listened to the crazy lady rant about dope ruining america a few rows back. mostly enjoyed the view and basked in the fact that i was not, shockingly, puking my stomach lining out. until we got to utica, and a shit ton of people got on.

my seat buddy then became an almost cute 18 year old dude with dreads and a lower half trash polka sleeve who was more interested in his earbuds than anything so i was fine with this. until we were about to MA and a few exchanged word and lazy lounging around turned into him doing THING guys think is cute where they lowkey rub your skin with the side of their finger against my thigh. so i ended up sitting up and the next stop he moved his shit to another seat. YEAH BYE.

along the way we kept having to stop bc signal problems and track construction and letting other trains pass. needless to say the train that was supposed to get in at like 8pm got in at at like 2:30am.

it was miserable, and raining. rachel got us an uber and i sat in the back seat next to some chick wh was super pretty and dressed up and here i was, a goblin, smelling like train restoom, in an ill fitting deadpool hoodie and yoga pants.

when we got to her place she made me some ramen (WITH THE RANDOM EGG AND EVERYTHING) that was good but spicy af and my stomach noped out and tbh over a week later my stomach is just now letting me eat properly again. tho i’m blaming this more on the issues with my abdomen acting up prior to leaving than the actual trip (tho, my skin having pores the size of actual craters i am blaming on the trip). i think the one thing we ate that DIDN’T act up in my body was the awful chicken wings we got from Wings Over that were about half fat and ridiculously undercooked. it figures.

ANYWAY. her futon is huge. it’s sad that i have more leg room on a futon than an actual mattress, but whatever. and there was construction going on across the street. fun fact: i came home to construction going on on MY street. so this was inescapable from the jump.

day 1 i got cute as possible and we hopped a bus and a train. my stomach was less forgiving of the motion here, but i lived. i saw Ron, the T-Rex. and we went to the isabella gardner museum where she lied and said i was a student. i was then asked a bunch of questions about being a student, none of which i was prepared for, and i’m pretty sure the only reason they let me in was because my zip code was accurate. that place is massive and pretty gorgeous from head to toe and i can’t fathom ever being that fucking rich.

then we went to get some food at a nifty little bar and restaurant . the name is escaping me rn but i stole a coaster. again, the food did not agree with me, and i could do a review on boston restrooms at this point. but it was great.

NINJA SEX PARTY! the house of blues wasn’t as bad as reviews made it sound, and aside from the mess that was the merch table they we kind of cheated like assholes due to some pretty honest confusion, was a good time. the line was MASSIVE. we got there an hour early and it was already around the corner and hard to miss. by the time we got towards the front of the building, it was around the block. we met a couple younger dudes from maine and a significantly more awkward gentleman more our age to keep us entertained. there were some street musicians. some asshole staff. you know.

all i really have to say about the concert itself was it was probably the best live music show of any kind i’ve ever been to and definitely the most enjoyable environment (huge tall dude who kept, somehow, ending up directly in front of me aside). everyone sounded amazing live, even if we were RIGHT under the speaker stage left and now permanently have bass vibrations embedded in our bones.

day two we hit up the museum of fine arts, which is massive and we didn’t see all of (and i paid full price for, thank you very much) and then grabbed a pizza and those awful wings and intended to chill out with some boy meets world. but the disks wouldn’t play. so we settled on mst3k. and let me tell you, i have not nearly cried from laughter in something as much as ‘cry wilderness’ nearly made me fucking cry.

day three we headed to south station to meet probes and hung out. there were a bunch of food trucks outside that were kinda neat. we didn’t think that girl would ever fucking find us, but she did. everything was OKAY. NO NEED TO PANIC. NO FIVE HOUR DELAYS. jess gives massive hugs, for the record.

we hit up a spot for lunch where they served be like, the biggest plate of pasta and bread i have ever witnessed in my life. i felt wasteful only eating barely half of it. then we found our way to the trains and the aquarium just in time for some sweet penguin education and eventually a lecture on their huge ass fucking tank that takes up the entire center of the room with a 90 year old sea turtle in it and some sharks and string rays. it was pretty cool, yo. i got a stuffed squid in the gift shop, even tho we did not see any giant squids (0/10 do not recommend) and outside jess gave me a present even though i fucking told everyone no presents (RAChEL ALSO GAVE ME NAIL POLISH AND A WRISTBAND WTF). it was a new day candy bar from fye. and yes, pop rocks n chocolate is surprisingly pleasant.

our PLAN was to go see hitmans bodyguard. but everyone showing it before like 7 was only showing 3d, and we wanted to get her on a bus home by 9. haha what fucking suckers @ us, because the bus didn’t leave until like 10. so we got shitty milkshakes, hit up the comic shop, and wandered around harvard for a bit until it got dark. and then were stuck at south station, wondering if she was going to be stuck in MA forever. reflecting on two quiet nerds and one extrovert being a not great possible combination of three people. but i still had a good time.

day 4 we did, in fact, see hitmans bodyguard and while it was mostly forgettable summer action lulz, i do ship the hell out of samuel l jackson and salma hayek now. so that’s cool. it was a fun time. hit up the park after, and a b&n to get schooled on peak writing stephen king. then we went to starbucks and i HAD STARBUCKS FOR THE FIRST TIME?? it was the double choc ship frap thing. it’s good. i’m mad about it.

we headed back, did laundry, ordered food. i ought her dream daddy, which was a waste of money, but i do take pride in just knowing she’s stuck having technically played a portion of dream daddy now. it’s her own fault for asking about it, it really is. mostly we watched more mst3k, some grumps shit, some random shit, some postmodern jukebox, had a drink. just chilled. and the ‘oh... fuck... haha... i have to go home tomorrow’ feeling hit when i turned off the lights.

i was too bummed the next day for much of anything tbh. i get depressed after anything fun. i get depressed after wwe shows, lmao, so for the trip to already be over when it suddenly seemed like i just got there sucked. plus it only just then really hit me i was in a different part of the country, if that makes sense even if it was only one state over. it was a weird realization as someone who never travels to have.

the train home i wasn’t so lucky to be alone most of it. i ended up in an aisle seat with a college girl. we minded our own business. stuck directly under the AC that was way too cold. a woman and a fucking baby sitting the next row over the second any space cleared out. had a layover in albany where an old guy made me a shot of iced chocolate espresso which he had never been asked to make before, and truthfully, i’d never had before, but it was alright. i actually enjoyed the layover as some weird, space between spaces, time to reflect on my own in an unfamiliar place kind of thing.

we got in around midnight, my aunt picked me up. got home around one.

that was that.

i had a really good time. i’m sure it didn’t seem that way. i’m like that. but i did and i appreciated the opportunity and definitely appreciated rachel for letting me freeload on her futon and showing me around and making me ramen i felt guilty for not finishing.

the city was nice. i’m sure i was only seeing the nicer parts, mind you, but compared to rochester or buffalo it just felt wider, cleaner. idk. i didn’t HATE it, and as someone who hates being in cities for more than a couple hours, it wasn’t bad.

it was a great time away from the world and despite the stress of coming home to everything, and a room without molding on the door (which was, for the record, still locked), i did feel a lot better afterwards. i still do.

#sam does boston mass #no one cares but for my own records u kno

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sanpellegrinofeels-blog · 7 years ago

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50 Eating Disorder Asks

1. What type of eating disorder do you have? Anorexia/Orthorexia/excessive exercise etc. 2. How long have you had body issues or had an eating disorder? since I was 11/12 3. What is your starting weight, current weight and ultimate goal weight? 169lbs, 145.5, 115lbs 4. Is there a body type you aspire to have? Someone in particular that is your "Thinspo"? Lily Collins, Kimiperi on Instagram, Rooney Mara just thin and boney 5. Is there a body type your fear? (Large, small or both) Deathly thin or an overweight body type (for myself) 6. What is your fear food/s? Pizza, Pasta, Breads, pastries and desserts of any kind really... 7. What is your safe food/s? fruit: Cherries, nectarines, grapefruit, apples/ Veggies: CUCUMBERS ARE MY BEST FRIEND, lettuce, celery, onions, corn, 8. What is a food you used to enjoy but don't anymore? Pizza 9. what is a food you used to not enjoy that you enjoy now? plain lettuce 10. What is your favorite drink? Coffee or tea 11. Do you have breakfast? If so, what do you eat or how many calories do you aim for? not usually but I try and aim for 120 when I do eat breakfast 12. Do you eat lunch? If so, what do you eat or how many calories do you aim for? Sometimes, lettuce, cucumbers or any type of veggie try to stay within the 100/120 range 13. Do you eat Dinner? If so, what do you eat or how many calories do you aim for? yes usually allow 300 - 400 because my son and husband expect me to eat with them. That is the most calories I will eat in a day usually. 14. When in presence of others do you eat "normal" as to not be suspected? How do you act or behave? I have learned not to cut up food that itsn’t typically “cut up.” (example pizza) I take small bites though and drink and talk to distract from eating. 15. How do you feel when with others in a situation where everyone is eating? I usually feel uncomfortable. I don’t like being watched when I eat so I wont put anything in my mouth while someone is making eye contact with me. I get a little frustrated too because I wish I could “just eat” and be fine with it. 16. How do you respond if someone asks you why you aren't eating? I usually come up with an excuse “my stomach hurts, I ate a big meal earlier, i’m not very hungry” etc. 17. How do you feel after you've been with others and ate? What do you do afterwards? I usually feel sad and angry. Sad that I ate and angry that I feel sad about it and also angry that I ate. Eating out is usually a lot of calories. I’ll restrict the rest of the day, exercise, drink lots of water etc. 18. Do you exercise and how many times a week/day? I try to exercise everyday. Not usually in the middle of a fast because it makes me sick. 19. What is your go to exercise? Crunches, jumping jacks, leg lifts, sit ups, push-ups. 20. Do you fast and how many hours do you aim for? Longest I’ve gone recently is 48. In the past I would fast for 72 hours at a time. 21. How do you feel while you fast? What do you think about or do while fasting? I usually feel tired, weak, cool, but good. I like that i’m accomplishing something. 22. What do you eat after you have fasted? I stick with water based vegetables or fruit as to not freak my system out. Nothing too heavy. 23. How do you move forward with eating patterns after a fast? Is it hard or easy to return to eating? I typically create a weekly calorie limit and break it down per day and then per meal. example: 4,550 calories for the week 650 calories per day, roughly 215 calories per meal or broken up how I see fit. 24. what do you think about while you are eating alone? How my food tastes and the texture. I also remind myself how many calories it is to keep me from binging. 25. how do do you typically feel about food? Positive, I know it’s energy for my body. I love cooking for my husband and son. I’m told I’m a very good cook and my family and friends ask me to cook them things. I only feel negative towards food when I have to eat it. especially if it’s something I dont have allowance for. 26. what is your long standing relationship with food? Positive, food brings people together, it creates memories in the kitchen with grandma’s that wont be around forever. However it’s also scary. I don’t know if something will taste so good i’ll lose control or if I’m put in a situation i feel forced to eat. I’ve always been afraid of food you could say. 27. Do you binge? If you do what do you Binge on? How often do you find yourself binging? Sometimes I binge. I might binge once every other week sometimes more frequently or less. Depends on a lot of situations. 28. How do you feel while binging? I feel awful, once i’ve given up though it feels good. 29. How do you feel after you have binged? I feel grossly violent towards my body. I want to cut it, punch it, pinch it, anything to inflict physical pain on myself is what I imagine. I refuse to because that took a long time to recover from. But yeah just over all hatred and anger towards myself. 30. What do you do the next hours/day to "recover" from a binge? I exercise, cry, sleep, restrict anything to “make up” for my out of control behavior. 31. What is the craziest thing you've done (or excuse said) to avoid eating? I’ve had a friend call me in the middle of a dinner acting like they had an emergency situation and I had to leave to be with them. 32. What is the worst feeling in the world to you? Feeling like I can’t move in the direction I want to. Stagnant, feeling like im not accomplishing or making progress on anything. 33. What is the best feeling in the world to you? smashing goals, reaching new achievements either physically or work or whatever not failing at something. 34. How does your disorder change your perspective of life? I look at things in calories and numbers. Calories are the allowance that I grant myself and once I've run out i’m broke. Everything is a challenge or a goal, how far can I run, how fast can I walk, how many crunches can I do before bed? If I go to the mall how many miles will I walk? etc. 35. How does your disorder help you on a day to day basis? It helps me focus on my weight and my diet. Helps me to lose weight, look and feel better about myself. More confident. 36. Does your disorder have a voice? If yes, is it male or female? Yes, female 37. If your disorder has a voice is it negative or positive? Usually negative 38. Do you decide when to silence your disorders voice? Or does it decide? I decide when to silence it. It’s dangerous though bc thats when i lose control. 39. What do you hope to accomplish or gain from your eating disorder? I hope to get to the weight that I was after I had my son. I was small and fit and loved how I looked in everything. I was confident in myself and in my weight. 40. What has your eating disorder helped you with? Helped me to focus on my weight loss, help me avoid negative thoughts about things happening in my life that I don’t like. 41. Have you ever recovered from your disorder or tried to? Yes 42. have you ever relapsed from recovery? Yes a few times now 43. How did you feel when you recovered, relapsed or both? Recovery is nice, i felt like I had a chance at being normal again and having fun in life instead of avoiding my friends and family. It also made me develop a stronger hate for myself though. I have worse body dismorphia from recovering. When I relapsed it felt bad and good. I felt/feel guilty but I feel like im at my wits end, my breaking point. I relapsed when I looked in the mirror and wanted to die bc of how fat I had gotten. I would rather die than be as fat as I was so It was like my last hope, my last shot at not being depressed. Lose weight and be happy or stay where you're at and just have suicidal thoughts all day every day. I’m not in that place anymore, i’m happier now that i’m losing weight but I feel angry at myself when I eat so it’s a trade off. 44. Do you have someone close to you that you can talk to about your disorder? I don’t 45. Does it help having someone to talk to about your disorder? It does help having someone to talk to. My support and life line is this website and my blog. 46. Would you ever confide in anyone close to you about your disorder if you haven't already? (possibly family or someone not online etc.) I would confide in my husband or my little brother. They are both of my best friends. 47. What do you think would happen if you confided in someone or what has happened in the past? In the past the person I confided in ratted me out and I went to treatment. I’ve confided before in a close friend and she helped me the best she could. She didn’t understand but she was there for me and didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to. I think if I confided in my husband he’d be really sad and angry that he couldn’t stop it. I think my brother would cry and be sad and angry at me for doing this *again* 48. If you have confided in someone in the past what was thier reaction? How did it make you feel? My friend was really concerned and loving towards me. She helped me recover in my own way and walked me through my pregnancy when I was alone. When my family found out the first time about my eating disorder they cried. They wanted to understand and help. They wanted to feel responsible. They wanted to help me. It made me feel really bad because it was never my intention to hurt them. I never wanted to tell anyone for them to feel sorry for me or to feel responsible for what I was doing. 49. If you could recover with a snap of your fingers and be able to eat normal and not have intrusive thoughts right now would you? I would 50. Do you think you will recover from your disorder? I think I will, I think I will find a place of peace and happiness. I think i will find a way to cope with my issues or get medicated and then maybe recovery will come along the path to mental wellness. I don’t think I can recover without learning how to get to that place, that mental place of “being okay.”

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jooheonies · 7 years ago

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“SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER” TAG 📜

das like a strangely worded title(?) but ayee i was tagged by @honeyheonie and @youngjaesloudlaugh! thank you guys so much!!

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people minus 6

THE LAST:

1. Drink: vitamin water 2. Phone call: my gf 3. Text message: "fuk u 2 biNC H” (i type like im 12 pls dont hate me) 4. Song you listened to: You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift 5. Time you cried: like a month ago while i was watching how to train your dragon 2 and hiccup’s dad died i legit cried 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not rlly 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: nope 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ye it was nasty

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: grey, white, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: oui oui

16. Fallen out of love: nah

17. Laughed until you cried: do u mean every day of my life

18. Found out someone was talking about you: i mean ya but liek what r u gonna say abt me im an enigma

19. Met someone who changed you: oui

20. Found out who your friends are: kind of? i just cut some ppl out of my life

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: negative

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i know all of them

23. Do you have any pets: oui oui i have ten fish that go by the names: toast, eggo, doggo, my lEg, my EYES, snort, loaf, tinfoil, mattress and simbabob. i have five snails: rekt, buddypalfriend, deodorant, nite, and lamp. in addition i have a moss ball named juandissimo. i also have a cat named merlin (i named the fishies and snails and moss ball nd my sister named the cat u can tell which sibling is cooler)

24. Do you want to change your name: ya tf kind of name is nawar i wanna change it to kiara

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i liek,,ate good food

26. What time did you wake up: weekdays at 6:30 am and weekends are like 11:00 am bc i go bed around 3:00 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i watched hsm 2 again das like my fave one

28. Name something you can’t wait for: ur mom

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a week ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: intelligence/motivation i never have enough intrinsic motivation and its why im failing at life

31. What are you listening right now: Ms.New Booty - Bubba Sparxxx (pls dont judge me its on shuffle and it makes me laugh)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope but like does talking tom the cat count bc then yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance. we live in the 21st century. like ppl who fully have the resources and abilities of educating themselves but refuse to do so are the reason we will never advance and flourish as a society.

34. Most visited Website: google drive lmao

35. Mole/s: I have like 2 right next to each other on my forehead and then one right beneath my left collarbone

36. Mark/s: i have one scar on the top of my left wrist from when i surprised a friend and she stabbed me w her pencil

37. Childhood dream: I always either wanted to be a paleontologist or work at NASA and those dreams havent changed

38. Hair color: black/dark brown

39. Long or short hair: fairly long it goes down to my waist

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah

41. What do you like about yourself: i have small feet so i can buy from both the kids section and the women section

42. Piercings: one on each ear but they prob closed bc i havent worn earrings in like two or three years

43. Bloodtype: O positive

44. Nickname: narwhal, narquaad, nawar bawar, nawar bawar bowser, nawat, near, nut (pls give me cute nicknames what r these)

45. Relationship status: single and not lookin

46. Zodiac: libra (so is jacob sartorious and kim k im liVING)

47. Pronouns: she, her

48. Favorite TV Show: jane the virgin, friends, how i met your mother, just stupid sitcoms that fill up time usually

49. Tattoos: none but i plan on getting a lotus flower on the back of each ankle to symbolize my heritage and my roots (get it)

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: nooooo

52. Piercing: answered already in #42

53. Sport: i used to do high jump as part of track but then i fucked up my ribs and no more!

55. Vacation: i like vacations alright, but i prefer staying home alone at those times and cooking for myself and watching tv rather than going somewhere new and exploring - unless its a museum i love museums!

56. Pair of trainers: yeah like 2 pairs of nikes

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: im a lil bit picky w my food but ill try just about everything! fave foods are shrimp, pesto pasta, chicken, fries, and burgers! i hate bananas w a passion and ill literally take your head off if u come near me w one

58. Drinking: water and juice bc alcohol smells bad to me like ew y does beer smell like piss

59. I’m about to: cook

61. Waiting for: when i can eat

62. Want: to like have so much money i can go grocery shopping and buy everything i want ik it sounds stupid but like imagine being able to eat whatever u want from the grocery store that right there my friend is tru happiness

63. Get married: idk maybe

64. Career: paleontologist or anything at nasa literally anything nasa is my ult but also i really like learning languages so thats another option

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses im not a hug type of person

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms

71. Sensitive or loud: loud

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope

75. Drank hard liquor: oui

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes

77. Turned someone down: yep

78. Sex in the first date: no i dont think so

79. Broken someones heart: noooo i dont think i have

80. Had your heart broken: nah

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i do but liek also im stupid so no

85. Miracles: hahhahahha absolutely not.

86. Love at first sight: no.

87. Santa Claus: i am an adult.

88. Kiss in the first date: yeah? if it feels right

89. Angels: nope

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: lily and ana

91. Eyecolor: brown

92. Favorite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle

I tag: @jinkimon @jooheontbh @shownud @tomatoholmes @jungnoir @bunnyjins @sleepyw0ns @@guksuu @arigathanksgozaimuch @lostinmonstax @wonkyuna @nottechae @ukihyunnie @kihyunswife

#u guys dont have to do this!!#tagging game

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