#bc different things I was involved with kept giving me free ones lol

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

Fine. Taking my autistic-with-shitty-parents ass and watching Bluey. Maybe I will cuddle Dotty while I do so for the full experience. I feel like you sick bastards just want to see me cry

[jarofstyles]

hey besties, pls do a football player Harry (soccer in case ur american lol) and physical therapist y/n !!

I know absolute shit all about football (soccer bc we are American) but we can give it a go!!! Plz don’t be mad I don’t know anything about it cause it’s ✨make believe ✨

If you like this, check out our Patreon!

—-

He was a little shit.

A beautiful, charming, irritating, little shit.

When Y/N has signed on for this team, being the medic was something she had been passionate about for years. Having her own accident and making it so she couldn’t properly play anymore, it was her mission to still be involved in the game so how. Y/N’s own injury and healing process had her become more and more interested in the profession, and here she was.

It wasn’t everything she had dreamed of, as nothing ever was, but it was good. She got to sit field-side every game, close to the action. And every injury she got first look at. She helped the guys with their stretches, their previous injuries and keeping them from Re-injuring themselves, taking care of them and making sure their physical shape was the best it could be.

In general? She was happy. But there was one man who was a thorn in her side and a pain in her crotch.

Harry Styles.

The man who decided it was his personal mission to follow her around like a puppy dog. Popping up in her singular moments of peace during game day. Texting her and asking about very, very small twists of ankles and giving her the ‘🥺 maybe you should come and look at it…’ whenever he did so.

Not to mention his complete and utter want to get into her pants.

Now it wasn’t as if she couldn’t handle a few sexual jokes. Y/N was a big girl and knew 99% of the time, the guys on the team knew their limit. And Harry? Harry, in reality, was a gentleman. Never touched her inappropriately, ever. But the problem was… she kind of wanted him to.

There was no actual clause against staff members and players being together or hooking up. Nope, just frowned upon. Maybe a slap on the wrist. However Y/N knew, she knew that the moment anyone caught wind of her potential affections for any team member or acting on it? It would end with everyone thinking she slept with them to get the job.

Y/N worked long and hard. Tireless hours for make sure these men were healthy, fit, and at their best. She wouldn’t sleep with anyone for any job, and she was actually respected by this team which was something a lot of women weren’t in this field. She could not and would not throw it away for a good dicking.

Fuck, did she want to sometimes.

—-

Harry had these hands. The perfect hands, in her opinion. Big, strong with thinner fingers. Long fingers. A good sized palm, not overly veiny, just perfection in male hand scales. Luckily (or unluckily, whatever way you’d put it) she got to handle them often.

“S’sore today, doc.” He winced, sitting on the table in front of her. Harry’s wrist throbbed. It was rainy, and it was usually a wreck when it was the perfect condition. The ache was annoying, and he knew she had a solution.

Her lips pouted softly as she gently took the hand in place, thumbing over the part of the wrist where rhe injury had occurred. She had learned a while ago where to press, how to rub and get it to lessen before she wrapped it up. “Yeah… old injuries tend to never let you forget.” She sighed, pushing her glasses up into her hair.

Harry never could get over how fucking gorgeous Y/N was. From her nose to her lips, the pretty sparkle in her eye, the curve of her hip… he was obsessed. Not to mention the fact that she was so gentle with him. So kind and sweet, though he knew he got on her nerves with his teasing sometime. She could handle it and he always tried to watch to make sure he wasn’t going too far, but he couldn’t help it.

He was a silly boy with a bit fat crush.

Y/N didn’t bite for any of them. Everyone had attempted when she first came on, testing the waters. Her pretty face was welcome to all the blokes in the team, and there was something incredibly attractive about a woman who could heal. Nonetheless, she never gave in to anything.

In Harry’s case, he knew it was different. He could see her smile at some jokes, see her get the bumps on her skin when he brushed her a certain way. But she avoided the eye contact. Avoided the touches. And it drove him mad.

Of course she wouldn’t know he had actual feelings for him because he was a giant coward most of the time. He hid his affection in the dirty jokes and the teasing squeezes of her waist and teasing. He was a thick skinned man but a full rejection form her would hurt.

Her soft fingers gently massaged over the wrist, making him groan. His head tilted back and he let it out, hissing slightly when she pressed too hard. “Oooh, don’t worry sweetheart. Y’know I like it to hurt a little.” His wide smirk made her roll her eyes huffing under her breath.

Y/N was not having a great day. She had been harassed by an Ex all fucking night over her new job. Making all the damn assumptions that she was getting ‘trained by the team’ in a much more vulgar way, and she had cried half the night. To say she wasn’t in the mood was an understatement, but she was trying.

Harry was not what she needed today, because it made her feel worse. Her blatant attraction to him made her feel guilty. She should be professional and leave it with. The way she had squeeze her legs tighter while he groaned didn’t help her case. The ugly words of how they’ only kept her around for a potential fuck’ was ringing in her head.

Harry though, he was a little oblivious. Her hands were so talented, and he didn’t watch her face for once as she hit a good spot again and he let out another remark.

“Jesus, that’s good. Do those magic hands work everywhere?”

That was the straw that broke her. It wasn’t his fault necessarily, he was just playing. But her eyes watered, hand yanking away as she turned from him, walking over to the bench. Trying to compose herself was hard as the tears burned so hard in her eyes, hands shaking slightly.

Harry startled, not used to that. She never flinched away like that, never ignored his remark and walked away. Usually told him to fuck off, rolled her eyes, something. But the energy in the room immediately shifted and he was uncomfortable. What had happened?

Cautiously, he cleared his throat and stood up from the bench, licking over his dry lips as he spoke again. “Uh… Y/N?”

“S’all I’m good for, right?” She muttered under her breath. Frantically wiping under her eyes she tried to focus on the paper in front of her but she could feel Harry approaching.

He furrowed his brow, not sure if he heard correctly. “Wha-“

Y/N whipped around fast, eyes teary and wet. “I said, that’s all I’m good for right? Only good for my hands and sex and all that pleasure you can get from me?” She hissed. “Only good for a romp in the sheets and a pretty face to heal your wounds and put on band aids. Only good to make you get off and feel good and then what? I’m left here with nothing.”

The tears left her, her hands shaking as she grabbed her bag. Harry felt his stomach drop. Never, ever had he wanted to make her feel like that. Her crying? That wasn’t something he ever wanted to see again. He felt like he had taken a ball to the gut, hard. Those eyes he adored being full of pain, full of tears was his own personal hell.

“Y/N… wait, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“ he tried to follow her to the door, stopping abruptly when she lifted a hand up to him. Her stomping had made him nervous. Now she was leaving without talking to him and he felt like a complete dick. It was their normal teasing, but he had crossed a line.

“Don’t. Just��. Just leave me alone. I’m going home.”

—-

As much as Harry had wanted to chase after her, he had already made her cry once. He wasn’t risking it again.

The icky, gross feeling in his stomach followed him all day. He was gutted. Not only has he apparently crossed a line with someone he respected, he had a fucking crush on her. The man was convinced no other feeling was worse than a crush being angry at him. Even if it sounded juvenile to place it like that.

Harry liked Y/N. He never ever wanted to make her upset in any capacity, let alone feeling like a sex object or violated. He prided himself on respecting women. And he had fucking failed. He needed to make it right, and fast.

-

He had found her address. In her employee file, and he knew that was bad but he needed to check on her. Regardless of what happened beforehand, she was upset by him enough to leave and go home and he wanted to make sure she was genuinely okay.

It was an overstep and Harry knew it. He had to try, though.

He arrived at her door step with a box of cupcakes and some flowers. Gently kicking the floor, he heard the door open and his heart broke a little more.

Y/N standing in front of him with swollen eyes. She had been crying, seemingly a lot. And she looked upset still. Though he expected her to close the door in his face and tell him to fuck off. But she didn’t.

Instead, she broke into tears again, throwing herself into his chest. Her arms wrapping around his waist, he nearly tumbled over but righted himself as he startled. Quickly he found himself recovering, wrapping his free arm around her and holding her. He was able to maneuver slightly and drop the cupcakes on her entry table, flowers as well before having his arms free.

“Hey…. Sweetheart, what’s the matter?” He whispered softly, gently placing a hand on her back. Rubbing it up and down, letting her cry into his tee shirt. It was worrying. Whatever happened was beyond him, but he wasn’t going to let that take away from the fact he had added and made it worse.

“I’m sorry.” Her muffled response was sobbed into his shirt. “I’m sorry for yelling… and saying you thought those things, you were playing and I…” she pulled back worth tear streaked cheeks and Harry’s look of pure concern making her lip wobble. “You didn’t do it. It was… he kept sayin’ that all the team wants is in my pants, and you make me feel guilty because you’re so…. Beautiful, and I never slept with anyone to get this job! Never. And then he wouldn’t leave me alone-“ she hiccuped, looking up at Harry as he caressed the back of her head.

“Who, lovely? Who wouldn’t leave you alone?” He asked with a calm tone. Of course he wasn’t. Someone was harassing her. And Harry would fucking take care of it. It boiled his blood to think of someone making her feel less than.

“My ex.” She sniffled again, slowly calming. Harry had that quality, she thinks. “He-He broke up with me for taking the job. Said… said that I was going to be a personal whore for all of you. And not do my job.” She took a shuddery breath. It was embarrassing admitting this to him, but he had been on the receiving end for a meltdown that wasn’t his to fix.

“Well, can I tell you something?” He brought his thumb up to wipe away some of the sticky tears from her cheeks. “You arent. You’re no one’s whore. You’re a respected, talented and intelligent member of our staff. You so happen to be incredibly beautiful, which obviously makes people find you more bewitching… but I know that we all look at you as a professional talent. They may have tried their luck at the beginning but you laid down the law quickly and they all understood.” He whispered.

“Me? I was trying my luck, because you’re incredible. And I think you’re lovely. But that isn’t a conversation for now. Let’s make some tea, hm? Relax. I brought you some cupcakes. I need to properly apologize for being inappropriate to you. Regardless if it was a joke…”

—

He sat next to her on her couch. The poor girl was better now, washing her face and a mug of tea in hand while Harry had helped himself to a vase and put the flowers inside. Carnations. He thought they were pretty, didn’t know the name until Y/N had fawned over them.

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you.” She said softly, her big sweatshirt swallowing her up. Before Harry could interrupt, she put a finger up. “I know that you were just playing, Harry. I let you flirt with me like that. And I enjoy it.” She could feel herself get warm in the face. “If you’ve noticed, I let you get away with it. I enjoy it. And you didn’t do anything out of line. I was sensitive… I was still raw and I hadn’t had much sleep because he had blown up my phone and regardless he was telling me things he said in person over and over again. So…” Y/N shifted in her seat and used her sweater paws to bring the drink to her lips. “When you came in… I felt guilty for finding you attractive. For liking what you said to me.”

Harry sat for a moment, quiet. So she had liked it…. And felt guilty. Now knowing the context? It made sense. For the life of him he was trying not to hold in to the fact that she enjoyed it, but he couldn’t. It made him excited.

“Okay. That makes sense. Usually.. I do a better job at reading your physical cues. Sometimes I can see something isn’t the right thing to say because you’re tense already. But I was in my own world cause you were making the pain go away and I felt good. It isn’t an excuse, though.” He gently grabbed her hand once she set down her warm tee, thumbing over the knuckles.

“I felt like such a dick. I still do. You know that? And it isn’t because I’m attracted to you. But it’s because I didn’t think about the position I’m putting you in by flirting.” He moved a little closer. “I would never try and jeopardize your job. I’ve been blinded by my own feelings for a while and I was trying to feel it out but I didn’t think to think it was because someone else or a group of people would look down at you for it.” He frowned.

It was so unfair. They wouldn’t care if he slept with her. But they’d ridicule her for sleeping with him.

“I just want to let you know now as well… I wasn’t trying to come on to you to have a hookup.” He hummed. “The feelings I’ve got are genuine. Alright? They aren’t just too get into your pants. And I never want you to feel as though that’s your only purpose. Ever. You have so much worth, and while I’m positive you don’t need me to tell you that, I want tok anyways.”

He was unreal. She really thinks so. How did a man just… be like him. He was a fan favorite and had charm but behind the scenes he was even better than anything they said.

“Yeah. I think I was afraid. Because… I’m the same, you know?” She shyly admitted. “You’re charming and I didn’t want to admit I let your charm get to me, but it has. It has very much. And I like you. I don’t know what to do about it, but I think it’s only fair I admit it myself as well when you’ve put yourself out on the line.”

Harry’s grin grew, dimples pocketing in his cheeks. She liked him back. His heart was ringing in his ears, the shy little look into her eyes making him want to explode. Fucking adorable girl making him feel such intense emotions…. It was incredible.

Thank god. He thought he was going insane.

“We don’t have to do anything in the sense of our job right now. But since we both know… would you want to explore it? I would say privately. Just get to know each other better. Talk. Hang out. Cook food together… maybe kiss.” He smirked slightly at the end, making her let out a laugh. Her laugh soothed his Damn soul.

“I think I’d like that.”

——

Part II maybe? Who knows

[fluffynexu]

Astralignment

and the Korribani Calendar System

Before the arrival of the Exiles the native Sith on Korriban had their own system of keeping track of time. Over the years, this became standardized and refined and is still in use by a large portion of the modern Pureblood community. Since the ancient Sith were observant beings of their world, many of the names and symbols reflected their natural environment. All of these aspects go into what is known as a Sith’s astralignment (astro-alignment).

Since the Empire runs on Imperial Standard Time (IST), anything relating to Korriban or any other Imperial world is referred by the local time of that planet.

Compare a year on  Dromund Kaas to Korriban:

Dromund Kaas (everything in standard)

24 hours/day

312 days/year

7,488 hours/year

60 minutes = 1 hour

24 hours = 1 day

5 days = 1 week

7 weeks = 1 month

35 days = 1 month

8 months (+4 weeks and 4 holidays) = 1 year

312 (standard)days = 1 year

Korriban

28 (standard) hours/day

780 (local) days/year

21,840 (standard) hours/year

70 (standard and local) minutes = 1 hour

24 (local) hours = 1 day

10 (local) days = 1 week

6.5 (local) weeks = 1 month

65 (local) days = 1 month

12 (local) months = 1 year

780 (local) days = 1 year

This roughly makes 1 Korribani year approximately 2.9 [Dromund] Kaasi years.

Calendars

The days on Korriban are annotated on some versions of the Imperial calendar alongside the standard days.

In this example, names of the days on the calendar reflect the IST. The black numbers indicate the date in IST, the red numbers represent the date of the Korribani calendar. Placement of the Korribani date indicate when that day begins in relation to the Kaasi one.

A. 00:00 is the same for both. B. 00:00 K starts at 04:00 DK. C. 00:00 K starts at 08:00 DK. D. 00:00 K starts at 12:00 DK. E. 00:00 K starts at 16:00 DK. F. 00:00 K starts at 20:00 DK. G. Loops back around and 00:00 K lines up 00:00 DK .

While seemingly complicated to some, most Sith have grown with this system of overlapping calendars and can easily tell the date by the positioning of the numbers in this format. 

There are of course, electronic versions where the date is shown simply:

Since the Korribani month is longer than the Kaasi one, the dates will continue through the Kaasi months. These next two pictures show how long 1 Korribani month is in relation to a Kaasi one.

There is also a version of the Korribani calendar that does not overlap with IST. These are used locally on the planet.

The days of the Korribani week were named after major gods from the most widespread pantheon on the planet:

Ahmuriq, from Ahmurn: the creator god.

Marseriq, from Marserha: mother goddess of the Sith.

Bashariq, from Bashara: goddess of passion.

Teraiq, from Teral: god of protection and justice.

Iskarliq, from Iskarln: god(dess) of conflict and war.

Marduriq, from Mardur: patron god of the Massassi and strength.

Rusaniq, from Rusanel: goddess of knowledge.

Zefiriq, from Zefir: goddess of the hunt.

Shumariq, from Shumari: god of the harvest.

Goruiq, from Gorul: the trickster god(dess).

Months

There are numerous constellations in the Korribani sky. Twelves of these mark the months of the year as well as going into the astalignment. The 12 major, monthly constellations all depict local fauna from ancient fables and have certain characteristics that are commonly associated with them.

1. Yuninchâtsutuyok, the jiminat and agzonûboj engaged in eternal conflict. Dedicated, ambitious, and insightful.

2. Qyalatuyok, the qyalak. Calm, sentimental, and inquisitive.

3. Badzuriqatuyok, the badzuriqash. Tenacious, practical, and direct.

4. Kaarjontuyok, the kaarjontû. Spontaneous, contemplative, and observant.

5. Tukatatuyok, the tukata. Loyal, respectful, and staunch.

6. Hatyatuyok, the hatya. Articulate, perceptive, and adaptable.

7. Lomaituyok, the lomait. Disciplined, fearless, and competitive.

8. Dzushatuyok, the dzushaj. Private, calculating, and flexible.

9. Mowhetuyok, the mowhef. Stern, traditional, and ruthless.

10. Dyaltituyok, the dyaltir. Mischievous, studious, and charismatic.

11. Jhan’dikanatuyok, the lost dikana. Creative, sociable, and resourceful.

12. Niqoituyok, the niqoit. Erudite, cunning, and free-spirited.

Years

The years are also represented by local animals. No one, not even Sith scholars or historians, are sure of the origin of how these animals came to represent the years on Korriban’s calendar. It is one of the many parts of Sith culture that have been lost since it is believed this particular record has been passed down through oral tellings.

The years are kept track of in a 6-year cycle with each year emphasizing a likely success for the ones born in that year.

Chiroik - Wealth

Wokinai - Knowledge

Natûsh - Fame

Dzenal - Influence

Litskoj - Power

Sulemish - Longevity

(ie. Those born in the year of the Sulemish will have a long life.) This again factors into a Sith’s astralignment.

In addition to the years, these 6 animals are also used for the hours on Korriban. But time is not conveyed in the same manner as Basic. While in Basic one would simply say “14:25” (or two twenty-five in the afternoon) the Sith have a much more involved way to convey time.

For example: Shyracks screech and return to their caves as the priestess prepares the altar in the hour of the wokinai.

Translates to: 07:15 local time (or seven fifteen in the morning).

As a side note, a few centuries ago Darth Feras domesticated and bred wrats within the Empire. At first they weren’t seen with much interest by her peers. But popular rumor has it that she pointed out her creations embody the physical traits of the yearly beasts.

Eyes - Chiroik

Ears - Wokinai

Body - Natûsh

Hands - Dzenal

Feet - Litskoj

Tail - Sulemish

Afterwards they quickly became a favored pet and companion among the Sith, being seen as an auspicious animal.

While not related to their calendar there is a tradition of being assigned a birth flower. For this, the Sith do not look to their skies but rather, when a child is born the placenta is buried in a pot with 12 seeds. The first of these seeds to sprout becomes that Sith’s birth flower. These 12 flowers are also used in medicine, therapeutic or preventive, for some common ailments.

Serla for headaches.

Roshal for good eyesight.

Nashkir for sore throats.

Atsudqâ for heart health.

Hyaranjat for good digestion.

Mûyoin for muscle pain.

Shasâyar for fertility.

Jûzon for blood circulation.

Ashanin for bone mending.

Qoyo for fevers.

Chisiqsanu for irritated ridge skin.

Kûsk’inti for fatigue and replenishing energy.

The last two parts that go into a Sith’s astalignment are their energies. The weekly energies correspond with 4 classic “elements” of earth, fire, air, and water. While the daily energy simply refers to day or night (d/n) in regards to when the person was born.

Combined with all aspects mentioned in this document, year, month, weekly energy, day (+energy), and flower, one can study a Sith’s astalignment.  ex. Darth Vowrawn’s astalignment factors:

The study of these astralignments is a complicated field on to its own while the findings can be very important to some among the Sith. There are specialized scholars who offer their services to the old families so that the “perfect matches” (marriage, business, or otherwise) can be set up.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

aaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S DONE. i feel like frodo at mt. doom after the ring is destroyed omg... ;-;

SOOOO. i wanted, and i mean REALLY wanted, to finish this for lunar new year (for pretty obvious reasons lol)...... :,) welp. then i was like “i can do may 4″ lol NOPE. but here we are! still technically sith day? whatever. imma say I Did It. :D

also pls don’t laugh at my stupid drawings. i already know i can’t art. ok??? >,<

special thanks to @snootysith​ for giving me a bunch of sithy names and words for me to use. c: like y’all... coming up with fake words, that look and sound ok is really HARD (for my dumbass anyway)

other worldbuilding posts that are... sorta mentioned/used in this:

@inquisitorhotpants​‘s dk calendar

BOOS! x3

and some other stuff ....

but uh, yea. if you’re wondering “hang on there fluffy... did you really make a big, dumbass zodiac/astrology post??” the answer is...

yes.

yes i did... xU

but also i imagine the ancient sith had a lot of special and important dates for you know... religious things? *shrug* and over the many, many years all of this was passed down and prob altered in some way to fit into modern sith society? idk...

now imma say some things here bc i know For A Fact!!! that ppl don’t go onto original posts to read op tags on this hellsite lol.

and this isn’t me trying to sound like an arrogant asshole... but these are for some common questions that’ll undoubtedly come up:

yes, you can use this in any extent or manner.

no, you obvs don’t have to. ignore it if you want. i’ll be ok lol.

no, i’m not gonna write a long ass book with all the little details on every aspect of all the traits and then assign these things for your character(s). just make something up. that’s what i did here xD (plus my brain is d e a d from this)

yes, this is seen as a mostly(!) tomato pureblood sith thing but obvs attitudes are different between individuals. some are super into it, some could careless and think it’s all fake news, some have parents that care too much about it which is annoying and interfering with their life so they lowkey hate it lol.

no, i couldn’t do a read more bc it wouldn’t look as nice and i worked hard ok? ;-; i apologize for clogged dashes in advance.

i think that’s it? ofc feel free to hmu if you’re ok with a reply that can take anywhere from a few min to 3 business days ^-^;

[yikesola]

feel free to ignore but id love to hear you talk abt your choice not to shave your legs because i made the same decision when i was like 14 and honestly,, having to evaluate wHY you do things really helped with my self esteem. i realised that i was only doing it to stop people commenting on the presence of hair. idk i never hear people talk abt it and i basically never see other people doing it

yeah, i’m happy to! i’m gonna conflate not shaving and wearing makeup a lot in this answer bc they just go hand in hand for my own experience, but i hope this is still helpful! so i started doing more performatively feminine upkeep starting at twelve— i had a stepmother who was a bit too close to my age to be anything more than a big sister, and she bought me eyeliner and razors at twelve and really framed it as necessary (now, obviously i’m not gonna blame this singular woman for the fucked up societal views of womanhood and the supposed bare minimum requirements to be granted personhood, but she was my direct introduction to it and i don’t know what my journey of unlearning would’ve looked like without her). i shaved my legs for well over a decade, i wore full-face makeup every day, it made me Very anxious to be seen without these actions, it made me feel like i didn’t look like myself without a face on, with this body hair making me rugged and unkempt. and i slowly unlearned that specific anxiety and perception of myself but it took ages and ages, like i fully stopped shaving my legs for longer than like winter in 2016, and i kept wearing makeup until 2018 (like i even still have the makeup bc that shits expensive and idk i might have to go to a gala or something someday who knows).

it was a simple enough shift to get comfortable with in seattle. like, i still wore tights to work as they’re the only ones who might’ve minded and that was it. moving to smalltown arizona..... i don’t go a week without an aunt commenting. sometimes jokingly, sometimes harshly, sometimes that really fucking annoying patronizing “for your own self esteem, i think you should. when you look good, you feel good :)” which i’ve has varying degrees of patience for. i’ve explained the difference between a hygienic and cosmetic choice, i’ve asked if my unshaved legs are hurting them, i’ve suggested they just go shave their own legs any time they get the urge to shave mine.

i had a convo w my aunt linda about a week ago getting into it a little— she’s recently widowed and dealing w selling the house and just a lot of life changes. so i’m helpful where i can be, and when she had car trouble last week that involved chauffeuring her around. she mentioned that she can’t wait to be done with moving bc she hasn’t had any time to “take care of herself” lately, and how that day for example she wasn’t wearing makeup. i said that was really interesting, the way she phrased it. “taking care of herself” — i told her that /for me/ “taking care of myself” is getting enough sleep, brushing my teeth, feeding the cats, remembering my meds. how something like makeup is “extra” and how i think of extras either as “a luxury” or “a chore” — like paying someone else to cut my hair is a luxury. it’s not necessary, it’s not part of taking care of myself, but i do like it and will do it every so often. shaving my legs or wearing makeup would be a chore. it is an extra task that i personally see no value in, so i just don’t do it. she nodded like she was starting to get it (she is the aunt that gives me the least amount of shit so i think that helped) but still said she feels better w makeup. and i was like “that’s fine!” i’m not trying to condemn people who view my chore as their luxury, y’know?

a different aunt asked why i don’t just shave sometimes, monthly or whatever. i told her that now it’s been so long, the hair is soft and it’s a length i like and it looks the way i like it. if i shaved once a month it’d be spikey and coarse and even worse than frequent upkeep😩

basically, existing in a natural state is often coded for women as laziness. and sure maybe i don’t shave bc i’m lazy...... but i also don’t think that’s bad? i’m not lazy about other things and i’m fine w these priorities lol

hope that made sense?? felt rambly akdjfka

[eunheefmd]

Hey guys, I’m definitely not a newbie here lol it’s Kim (Guanting’s mun) and this is a revamped version of my old muse, Eunhee. She’s had a lot of revamps and she’s had a lot of FC changes, but I think this version of herself is the best one yet. If you’re interested in any of her plots, you can find them HERE and if you see anything you like, you can click that heart bottom in the bottom righthand corner of this post and I’ll shoot you an IM! And before I forget, you can check out her profile HERE! And if d*scord is easier for you, add me! My ID is chungha's foot stool#9502 (yes I’m trash for Chungha, don’t look at me)

She was born in 1995 and was the only child for the first few years of her life

Then her brother came along

Her parents neglected her in favor of her brother, who did acting as a child (I’ll be sending in a wanted connection for her brother, so if you’re interested he’ll be a ‘97 liner or younger!) 

While they neglected her, she learned how to fend for herself and started developing talents of her own

She asked her music teacher to give her private singing lessons after school, and that went on for about four years

They weren’t aware that she could sing until she asked if she could audition for record labels

She was almost immediately offered a spot as a trainee at her first label, and her parents were shocked when she passed the audition, but signed the papers allowing her to become a trainee

She didn’t really speak to them during her time as a trainee, and only called her brother every once in a while when she knew her parents wouldn’t be around

Her trainee period was a very.. interesting time. This is where Eunhee developed the brunt of her cutthroat attitude. She was already a little hard hearted due to lack of attention and love from her parents, but seeing just how intense and difficult training could be only heightened that. If you were a trainee that she liked or didn’t pose a threat to her debut, you were okay in her book. The others? Not so much. She fought tooth and nail to get her spot in Wish, and a few other trainees grew to not like her. She would put on the best possible act for trainers and other BC employees, but not so much to her peers. Did she care? Not really. She was there to become an idol, not make friends.

She trained for nearly six years before she finally debuted as a member of Wish. As a whole, Eunhee enjoyed being an idol and loved performing. There was nothing better to her than receiving so much love and positive energy; not to mention, the attention she received. Being the leader and main vocalist of Wish came with a lot of perks and being apart of the biggest girl group in the country opened so many doors for her in more ways than she ever could have imagined. She got plenty of opportunities to get her name and face out there, to build up a brand of her own away from Wish. Almost subconsciously, she found herself going above and beyond to outshine her group members. She firmly believes that as the main vocalist, she’s the best singer in the group and, as she would put it, ‘the voice of Wish’.

The more successful Wish became, the hungrier for fame Eunhee became. She wanted more, and she never hesitated to ask BC for more. That was how she was introduced to what became her second love; acting. She wasn’t trained in acting, but with Wish’s popularity, she received love calls from different production companies. At first, Wish’s management team were hesitant to allow her to go for the role in the drama ‘Evergreen’. It wasn’t uncommon for most idols who tried to cross over into acting to be met with a lot of criticism and wariness. A lot of people assumed that idols only received acting roles because of their popularity, and that them being cast in dramas and films only led to real actors and actress being denied opportunities. 

In the beginning, all of those worries fell on deaf ears for Eunhee. She was determined to do it. Just like she did with her idol training, she put as much effort as she could into preparing for the role and her audition. Whenever she wasn’t busy with Wish, she was working with an acting coach. An acting coach that she hired with her own money, of course. Behind the backs of BC’s team, because she didn’t want them involved and she wasn’t sure if they would even allow her to seek someone out on her own accord. 

The acting sessions turned out to be helpful. She was by no means a magnificent actress, but she wasn’t terrible either. She was just good enough to land a supporting role in the drama. Of course once it was announced that she would be making her acting debut, she didn’t receive as much support as she would have thought. She assumed that she would at least have Wishing Wells as her support, but as it turned out, many of them were against her pursuing an acting career. They didn’t want her to focus on anything other than Wish, which was upsetting, to say the least. It did throw her off a little, seeing so many people against her solo endeavors. It didn’t help that she was met with quite a bit of covered hostility her first few days on the set. The other actors and crew people weren’t necessarily mean, but she could feel the distance and slight coldness between them, which took some time to blow over. 

By the end of filming for ‘Evergreen’, Eunhee discovered that she liked acting. Not just liked, but loved. Being able to step into the shoes of someone else, even if that person is fictional, appealed to her creativity. She could take a character and interpret it in her own way, which was a plus side to acting. Being an idol didn’t allow nearly as much free will. The reactions to her acting debut were rather lukewarm. Some people praised her for being better than they thought she would be, while most said that her talent fell far below the acting abilities of her cast members. 

Those were the comments that got to her the most. Eunhee liked to consider herself to be rather confident in her abilities and uncaring of the opinions of others, but she knew deep down that was not the case. She craved acceptance, approval and attention; three things that she never got from her mother and father. 

So she kept working on her acting. Trying to improve her skills more and more. When she received the opportunity to audition for another supporting role in another drama in 2019, she jumped at the chance. It was her time to prove herself as an actress. She didn’t want to be seen as one dimensional. She wanted people to see that with her second drama. Even though the second time around wasn’t much better than the first, she did receive a few more praises than the last time she tried acting, which she took as a good sign to keep pushing forward with that career path.

Unfortunately with her being so wrapped up in her schedules for Wish, she can rarely find the time to pursue other avenues. But will that stop her from pushing for her own solo work? Definitely not.

Despite her shortcomings, Eunhee is a VERY good friend. Loyal as all hell. And she loves her members to pieces, even though she tries to upstage them. 

Fun Facts!!

Hates the fact that Wish are attacked for lipsyncing when literally every other group in the industry has lipsynced at some point in time and will at some point in time in the future. Because of that, she’s very aggressive when it comes to Wish’s performances. She’ll make the members sing their songs while performing the choreography over and over again so they’ll learn how to pace their breath and build up stamina to sing live. Has definitely gotten into arguments with some Wish members because of this.

She loves to cook and bake!! Let her fatten your muses up

Out of the closet nerd. She loves anime and comics and all that good shit and she’s not afraid to admit it

A huuuuge supporter of the LGBTQA+ (as well as a member of it). Definitely the one who suggests LGBTQA+ literature and movies on vlive. 

Can be lowkey crude, although it’s not really like?? outwardly crude. The type to make dirty jokes that people don’t pick up on as being dirty until a few seconds after the fact.

She cried when she had to get her hair cut for her first drama role lol 

[peirates]

‘Did the Romans and ancient Greeks ... ?’

Google autocomplete is a gem and a curse. Inspired by @todayintokyo’s post on questions about Japan, I thought I’d have a look at what people are asking about Rome and classical Greece and, wow...

Christmas holidays leave a lot of time for milling around, so I’ll answer them in case anyone’s interested. (Please forgive me if any of this is incorrect/incoherent, it’s nearly 11pm as I’m writing this lol)

Did the Romans speak Latin?

Yes, Latin was Rome’s (and the Roman Empire’s) official language! Of course, many Romans or foreigners in Rome spoke other languages for the sake of communication, trade and education - Greek was particularly popular among the nobility - but Latin was what they all had in common.

Did the Romans invade Scotland?

Long story short, no. They tried, failed, and built Hadrian’s Wall to keep the ‘barbarian’ Gaels out - southern Britain was already too cold and muddy for the temperate Romans, not much point in losing more lives over more mud. 

(Hadrian’s Wall was what inspired Game of Thrones’ The Wall, as confirmed by G.R.R. Martin himself, but Hadrian’s was nowhere near as high, thick or long.)

Did the Romans have glass?

Absolutely! In fact, their skill with it was much more artistic and masterful than the average glassmaker today, just search ‘roman glassware’ here on Tumblr or on Google images to see what I mean.

Did the Romans invent concrete?

Yep! It’s famed for its durability, which is due to its contents of volcanic ash (Pompeii flashbacks), lime and seawater. The seawater reacted with the ash over time to give it its strength and anti-cracking nature.

In fact, the Roman method was so effective that it lasts for far longer than modern concrete (modernity/Westernisation =/= progression, it seems) and scientists today are trying to find ways to revitalise it.

Did the Romans eat pizza? / Did the Romans eat pasta?

Sadly not, only later Italians did. Their empire deserved to crumble for not inventing either smh.

Did the Romans invade Britain? / Did the Romans invade England?

They did indeed in AD 43 under Emperor Claudius, and they only began to withdraw in the late 300s when the city of Rome was being threatened by a Germanic tribe called the Visigoths.

Did the Romans invade Ireland?

No. Even now, archaeologists have no idea to what extent they communicated or even knew of each other.

Did the Romans celebrate Christmas?

Emperor Constantine only began converting the empire to Christianity from AD 313 (they had been pagan previously), and the earliest evidence we have of Romans celebrating Christmas was in 336 AD, very late in Roman history. Throughout most of Roman history, therefore, no they did not celebrate Christmas.

(They did have a festival which was similarly important and similarly timed (mid-December) called the Saturnalia. It also involved communal partying, gift exchanges and a general spirit of liberty (e.g. slaves could order around and punish their masters) - it was one of the most anticipated festivals of the Roman calendar. However, the purpose was very different: it was to worship the pagan god Saturn, the father of god-king Jupiter and the previous ruler of the world before its occupation by humanity. Namely, the festival marked a return to the ancient ‘Golden Age’ in which nature was dominant, peaceful and uncorrupted.)

Did ancient Greece have emperors? / Did ancient Greece have kings?

No emperors, traditionally Greece was comprised of city-states ruled by kings (or theoretically by the dēmos, the people, if you were Athens). Under Roman occupation it did answer to Rome’s leaders (consuls, then later emperors), but the idea of emperors was much more late-Roman than Greek.

Did ancient Greece celebrate Christmas?

Nope. It was originally pagan and did not celebrate any Christian holidays until a) it was conquered by Rome b) Rome later converted to Christianity, thus enforcing it on the rest of the empire. However, this conversion point was so long after the ‘heroic’ and ‘classical’ periods of Greece that by the time it did become mostly Christian, it was no longer ‘ancient Greece’ in the same sense.

Did ancient Greece have electricity?

Y’all are asking the real questions out here, that’s for sure lmao. 

Nope, electricity wasn’t used anywhere as a power source until Thomas Edison’s studies about two thousand years later.

God though, a good ol’ GPS would have saved Odysseus a lot of trouble.

Did ancient Greece and Rome overlap?

Oh, nelly...

Greece predated Rome by at nearly a thousand years, but Greece’s and Rome’s histories together lasted for centuries, even before the latter conquered the former. It’s why they are studied together as one field of academia. Many Italian settlements were in fact Greek colonies. Classical Greek helped shape Latin. Much of Roman religion was inspired by that of the Greeks. Many Greeks could speak Latin and many Romans could speak Greek. Roman art, philosophy and architecture was particularly fascinated by that which was Greek - to put it in meme format, the crab is Roman culture and the crocodile is Greek culture. And these are just the absolute basics, entire tomes have been written on Greece’s and Rome’s somewhat symbiotic relationship.

TLDR hell yes they did.

Did ancient Greece have a flag? / Did ancient Greece have a constitution?

Nah. Although history often refers to Greece as one country, one culture, it was more a collection of independent city-states with their own identities and constitutions. 

They all had three things in common: religion (+ the moral/social codes which came along with it), language, and (in most cases) enemies from abroad -  therefore in later centuries, as well as their city-based nationalities, they did all call themselves the Hellenes. If you were a fellow Hellenic, you’d be able to work and live in other Greek cities with less trouble than if you were to try, say, in a ‘barbarian’ land such as Persia. Greeks were civilised; everyone else was an uncultured brute. Hence, their sense of unity was more from fear of the outside, from xenophobia, than from internal harmony.

Because of this, there was never an altogether complete sense of assimilation. Different cities had distinct dialects, favoured different gods/cults within the wider Pantheon, often warred against each other (especially Athens and Sparta, whew), fed their own specific cultures and law-sets and reputations. Nationality and citizenship in that age were not really about country or region, the world was just too small for that. You wouldn’t say ‘Hi I’m Phoebe and I’m Greek’, you’d say ‘Hi I’m Phoebe and I’m from the city of Halicarnassus.’ The closest analogy I can really think of is the cities in the dystopian series, Mortal Engines.

So no, they didn’t have a single flag or constitution. There was just not enough unity between them all.

Did ancient Greece trade?

Initially I was going to wave this off as a silly question because ‘hurr durr everyone trades’ but ACTUALLY. 

Along with the rest of the eastern Mediterranean, Greece had its own Dark Ages between the fall of its early society (aka Mycenaean Greece) and the rise of Homeric-style poetry and culture, i.e. between the 1100s and 700s BC. Communication in general was absolutely awful: there were no great armies, no great cultural progressions, and yes, no substantial trade. The fact that Greece was then feeling down in the dumps also discouraged foreign trade. 

It took the bard Homer’s influence to get people to start thinking, creating, travelling and thus mass-trading again - this sudden surge in activity eventually led to Greece’s Classical Period, i.e. 4th century BC, you’ll probably imagine gleaming Athenian pillars. Increased thinking and culture led to increased politics/nationalism, increased p/n led to increased warring and military action, increased warring improved transport and communication, and WHOOSH suddenly trade took off.

So basically, Mycenaean Greek trade was good (as far as we can tell), Dark Ages Greek trade was shocking, Classical Greek trade was quite literally revolutionary.

Did ancient Greece have lions?

Yep! However, they weren’t like the sub-Saharan lions you’re probably imagining right now - those are Panthera leo, but the Eurasian lions that would have been in Greece were Panthera spelaea.

Nevertheless there were indeed lions and they played a huge role in Greek mythology and literature. The Nemean Lion was the first of Hercules’ Twelve Labours; Homer, the trendsetting legendary lad that he was, created a trope of comparing something innocent and vulnerable to something vicious and savage and desperate by using the analogy of a lamb and a hungry lion.

Did ancient Greece have a democracy?

Nope, only one city named Athens did. Don’t get me wrong, it was at the time and still is a big deal considering it hadn’t been done before, BUT there are three important things to note:

It was ONLY Athens which had a democracy - every other Greek city kept their kingships.

The Athenian democracy wasn’t what we’d call democracy. Only free, Athenian-on-both-sides men could vote and participate in local politics - this left out all slaves, all women (even if they were Athenian), and all foreigners or residents of foreign descent (no longer how long you and your family had lived in and worked in and contributed to the city and community).

It wasn’t foolproof considering it eventually got overthrown by power-seeking tyrants.

i.e. a part of ancient Greece had a democracy.

[nessiancalore]

Nessian one-shot (again bc,why not)

it supposed to be when things are "already okay" once everything that's going to happen in ACOTAR4 happens basing the fact that they would still not be together (yes, my mind went far lol)

hope you don't mind if there's any grammatical errors, English is not my first language.

let's go.

-----------

Nesta

Nesta hated waking up so early. But even if she didn't have to, Cassian did. And he was not quiet when he made those gross breakfasts of his. Thankfully she learned one thing or two about cooking because relying on him to eat would be impossible.

They've been living in this house, rhysand's mother house, for quite a while, and things were better now.After all she faced this past few months, she was now in recovery, and that included training. That she learned to like.

Her and Cassian became friends, of course they still had a few arguments but they decided to try no to for their own sake so...friends. But if there's one thing she could not put aside is the fact that she is attracted to him and that this irritates her.

In her particular morning training,that she asked him for it about a two months ago, when he appears shirtless, and once or twice when she caught him leaving the bathroom with nothing but a towel, the taught of taking that towel away was not easy to avoid.

It felt ridiculous consider that 'a problem' after all the actual problems she (and them) faced but now since things are "normal" — as they could be considering she's fae with powers in a illyrian camp, and when Feyre asked her to go back to Velaris she said no — she couldn't stop thinking about him.

He was the person that never stopped fighting for her sake, and he's good and a buzzard sometimes but he can be very sweet.

And Nesta hated to admit that to herself.

He hasn't stopped being....well... himself. With the "sweetheart" and the suggestions to "easy her tension" that he always did but... That was just him being him. She saw him doing to Morrigan too...But they had that kiss and that moment in her room, but gods that was so long ago.

All that made her very confuse.

Of course she saw him looking at her body too, he's not blind, and Nesta it is very beautiful but that's what most men, males, do...

So, now, there she was, going to training with the guy she...likes.

Because that's what it was, like a ridiculous teenager, Nesta had a crush.

Yes, to consider all the things he means to her and all they've been through, it's WAY more than that, but, let's go easy on the thinking about it so "I really really REALLY like him as a friend and have a... thing... for the other part" that was the best she could do so far is...lying to herself.

Cassian was teaching her a few blows which made both very sweat and a lot of contact between their bodies and before her mind suggested something stupid the female stepped away.

"Tired already sweetheart?"

"I'm not a fight machine, dumbass"

"Alright, let's take...three" he gave a cocky grin.

As she went to get water her shirt was so soaked, she was waiting a fight brasier and the illyrian females did it all the time so, Nesta took out her shirt, leaving her with the top and her illyrian fighting pants, mother they were comfortable.

-----------

Cassian

Was she trying to kill him?

Before, when she had lost that weight, Nesta was still beautiful, of course, but she was sick, and that make him look at her differently once he actually understood what was happening, but right now, she won muscles. She was healthy, almost shinning.

That beautiful body was even more beautiful, if that was possible.

And she just decides to take her shirt like that?!

It was only fare, he did it too..To see how sometimes she would give him a side look, that Nesta thought he wasn't noting, or walking around the house in his towel but still..

He has been keeping away after everything because they've became friends and ruining that would kill him. She's fine, she's healing and beside what he feels, she needs a friend and not a bastard bothering her.

Even though she said herself that he's important to her, she could have meant as friend.

So those shirtless things where just to irritate her, and see how it goals........

"Feeling hot in there Archeon?"

"... Let's just go back to training"

And they did, until she showed him a new move that Laurel, the female illyrian captain, taught her.

Basically trapping your opponent's waist between your legs and involve his neck with your arm, face down.

She did while he stopped to arrange his stripes so he was caught by surprise, and there he has.

In that position.

With a almost bare waist and very sweat Nesta.

-----------

Nesta

She was trying not to think about his body over hers.

The movement was really hard and she wanted to try, so the fae barely tought about the consequences.

"Nice move Archeon"

"So general, how does is feel to be — she tighted her legs around him — beating down by a Fae?"

"Oh If is a female I definitely don't mind"

He could see he wasn't trying to leave but was on alert, waiting for the moment.

So she did the one thing he was probably not expecting, let his head off, but not his waist.

And there he was, staring at her.

"I need you to teach me how to leave from this, Laurel never did"

"Do you really want to?", with a bedroom voice.

And he could be just kidding, if he having gave her that look.

"Why wouldn't I?", barely a whisper.

"I don't know.Why your legs still around me?"

"Why don't you free yourself?"

"You haven't answer my first question. Are these other ones just a distraction?"

"What you think?"

"Another question"

And just like back then, she knew exactly how to answer him.

But this time her hand went to the back of his neck and they've got so close they were sharing a breath.

"I don't want to"

And thank the mother he didn't either.

The kiss started slow, as if he was waiting for her to back away, definitely not what she thought he would do, and even if her heart melted with the gesture, this wasn't the time for cute so se open her mouth to him, to show him what she wanted.

-----------

Cassian

And thank the mother she wanted.

He passed his hands around her and brought her up to his lap, not even bothering where they were, who could come in.

This was Nesta and him only.

He kissed her so strong, once she let him, he thought she might step away, but there she was, spreading that beautiful neck of hers to the male.

He went slow again, for the memory, but once she made a sound, a low one, like it was meat only for him to hear, the male went strong and vicious.After a few minutes he learned a spot that made her moan louder and look at him.

And when those beautiful hands got to his shirt he taught Nesta was going to take it out but no, she shredded, and started to kiss his torso, his neck,his tattoo and it was his turn to make a sound.

-----------

Nesta

He tasted,right.

Everything about him, she wanted, she needed.

He started to kiss her breasts once she was done with his neck and her head went back. It didn't took much to him notice her look at the balcony on the wall behind them, he got up with her let's still around him, almost falling down, making they both laugh a little bit. But the laugh was over again once he learned her against that wall pulled into her mouth again, his tongue was circling hers and she felt his male part growing between her legs, and mother, she wanted.

Once she got to his belt, the fae gave him a look, a question, and he just grabbed her behind — it felt like his hands were meant to be there — and that was answer enough.

Nesta had undone the bottom but they still kept kissing, and he pulled her hair a little bit and she grrined while cursing.

Oh I'll show him how to provoke.

It was going hot, and great, she was about to pull it out from the balcony so that she could...play. But..

"Wait wait " When he pulled her face out, holding her by the neck, she still leaned, but his eyes were closed.

"Is... — gods she was breathless— something wrong?"

"No...shit" he, still eyes closed, placed his fourhead on hers "Rhys is— he gave a deep breath— here"

He called him by mind then.

"..Oh"

Cassian opened his eyes and instead of looking at her mouth of her body, he was looking at her eyes.

"What?"

"I have to go"

"Then..go"

"I don't want to"

"... Me neither" and maybe it was suprise she saw in him but she held his hands and lowered them down interlacing their fingers and kissed him slightly.

They stood like that for a few seconds and then...they laughed.

Maybe is was the almost... you know but... she could see he was blushing.

"So..."

"Yeah.." still laughing she placed her head in his shoulder for a few seconds as he leaned his head in hers.

"I should..."

"You should.." pulling back.

"I'm sorry to ruin your fun", he lifted one eyebrow to her and point down with his eyes.

Cocky son of bitch.

-----------

Cassian

She pulled herself out of the balcony and placed in front of him, wicked look in those beautiful eyes, and ripped out the rest of his shirt off of him.Went for the water and spread some in his hair.Went for his belt to closed again, eyes still in his as those hands slightly, and purposely, touched his warrior. And once he thought she was done the woman, THAT woman licked the water that felt in his lips.

"Now you're good" she whispered

Cassian was a second away from grabbing her and, devour wasn't a enough word for to it, when rhys called him again and he just gave her another kiss before leaving.

-----------

Nesta

And then she smiled.

I kinda like writing, even though I don't I'm actually good yet, but I'll get somewhere soon, hope you guys enjoy some nessian content

bye xoxo.

[riskeith]

oo.. a read more.. how mysterious ;)

shsjjdhdjf hi! it’s pretty and fluffy yes ! some of it have melted away though sadly.. 🥺 how are you? hope your day has been amazing <333

i tried to go to dragonspine last night because albedo’s quest opened up for me a while back and it took me there and i failed like two seconds after so i just went to bed all angry shekdhskdbncj i kept thinking about how easy it would be if you had diluc, xiangling or klee on your team since they do ‘big’ fire attacks that would help with the frost... :(

have you decided that you want to build your whole team or just focus on 1-2 characters? i’ve heard some people say that it’s better to do just 1-2 but i’m hesitant over it... they’re your main team for a reason you want them all to be reliable yk..?

“LEGEND OF KORRA?” omg..... fun fact the first klance fic i ever wrote (never released it though since its still unfinished hskshdj) was a klance lok au! imagine the boys as rival probenders... 🥴 lance waterbender... keith firebender..... 🥵 but thank goodness you decided to give it a shot sjdkfjdk look where it lead us.

i meant that exactly! that’s not negative that’s just life because same here. i ended up just deleting everything when i started uni (the only thing i have left is tumblr) because it’s kind of hard keeping up with fandoms and stuff when the weight of the world is on your shoulders ... :/ even lost contact with practically all my internet friends lmao sheesh. do you still find it difficult to find motivation to write n stuff? (this is such a heavy topic soz)

us on our date.... chillin... suddenly hilichurls attack. incredibly romantic.... <3333 venti to your xiao i wish!!!!! #bringventiback2k21pls 🥺.. dude you reminded me!!!! i was on ao3 the other day (as one usually is) and did you know there are so many genshin fics? i was SO surprised?? kind of fun tho, have you checked them out?

no need to promise!! but you have my undying support <333

ohhh?? you wouldn’t? i mean your reasoning is absolutely valid!! the end was most definitely very disheartening in so many ways lol.... i probably would still tbh i just miss them a lot. like getting a chance to see lance and keith again with the same voice actors n everything??? i think i’d do anything for that LMAO when it comes to story though i have no idea... not really sure what they could do with it. maybe something with lotor?

YOU WATCHED SPIRITED AWAY????!!!?!? BABY I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! i’m so so so so so glad you like it oh my gooooood this is the best news ever <333333333333333333 i take it you’re now finished with it; what did you think? 🥺 also howl’s... girl my heart is soaring. i just know you’re gonna enjoy it so much!! aaaaah, let me know when you check it out <3333

icb you’re teasing me like this....,,..... ‘just wait until you read the last section’ i’ll just go die then. that was already so beautiful and there’s more??????? let me go back to my original roots and ask; hand in marriage? 🥺���� multiverse.... i have questions.... is it like, a one shot for each or is it like.. jumping between the universes? 🥺

stay safe, stay healthy mwah!! 🥰

hiyaaaa~

awww does snow not stay for long where you are? or is it not cold/thick enough to stay 😔 and i’m good! didn’t get as much done as i wanted but tomorrow certainly.. (i say every day FHSKFSD) hope yours is amazing as well <3 :*

FHSDKJFHSDKFHSJD omg ripppp im sorry 😭 but one day!!!! you will conquer dragonspine i can feel it. oooo wait do you not have xiangling yet? :o and also you mentioning diluc reminds me of this tweet i saw here, maybe he isn’t actually optimal for that enviroment AHAHA

yeah i agree with you! I kinda focus on building the traveller most bc i use him a lot of the time, but recently i’ve been trynna build everyone else up too and balance them out. like you said we want them all reliable and they all have different uses and functions, so.

PRO!!! BENDERS!!!!!!!!! omg wait were they gonna be... forced to work on the same team?? 🤪🥵 either way S tier concept. but also um excuse me?? you write fic too?!?!?! “first klance fic i ever wrote” implying there are more??? maybe published ones??????????? i won’t ask for links in case it like outs you LOL but omg??? excuse me?? how is this the first time i’ve heard about it >:(

shit that sucks :(( ugh im sorry you felt the need to do that! :( is it also kinda freeing and relaxing tho? that you’re not involved or have any connections or obligations.. idk sometimes all that overwhelmes me too. sometimes i have a really hard time writing yeah, but that’s also due to various other reasons unrelated to school. like twice a month i tell my friends i’ll quit FHSJFKDSHK but i never do lollll and then sometimes i’ll just get hit with such an intense urge to write and then im like?? i was so stupid for thinking otherwise? (and no worries at alll <3)

FJHSDKFS couples that fight together stay together 🤪 i think that was in one of my todobaku? fics LOL. okay but i saw some leaks (which i don’t condone but welp) suggesting that maybe... venti would return 2 banners after xiao or something so hopefully!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was looking at tier lists too and he was really high up so now im like fuuuuck maybe i can’t spend on my primogems for xiao i’ll have to save again FHSDKJFSD. ngl i was pretty surprised to see so many fics too! but nah i haven’t really read anything, hbu? also did you know there’s an official genshin impact webtoon? i haven’t read it but i am considering itttt

<33333333

AHAH yeah that’s fair tho. i think s8 ruined it so much for me that anything else would make me feel empty sighhhhh. but i was also gonna say something about lotor! honestly i feel like if they did make something else, it’d be a prequel or something, maybe even the prior paladins, so we wouldn’t even get to see klance at all fhkfhsksd.

i really liked it!! not sure if it was bc i zoned out towards the end tho, but i felt like the ending came pretty quickly? or maybe i was just so immersed i didn’t want it to end... ahaha. but i still stand by the fact i love haku sm..... i think i’ll watch howl’s tomorrow! i considered starting it tonight but i still wanna soak in spirited away for a bit so... we shall see <3 but ofc i’ll def let you know all my thoughts when i do

YOU ALREADY HAVE MY HAND BOO!!! you have my whole heart too just take it i’m giving it to you 😩❤👐. it’s one shot for each! I was actually considering making it a multichap with each chap as a new universe, but i have a horrible track record with those and idk that i could make each universe long enough fhdkfjs. ugh honestly i’m tempted to just like send you what i currently have anyway bc i honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish it fhskdf but there are some good moments in there that deserve to be Seen..

thank you!! you too, hope you’re all nice and warm 😘🤩

[gamerwoo]

Jihoon: Clingy

Anonymous asked: hello!!! i like your stories a lot ;; is it okay that i’m requesting something different from the Imprinted series? hahaha can i request for a scenario where reader and Jihoon are dating but he’s still a bit shy with skinship while reader is clingy... but then Jihoon tells reader to tone down the skinship so reader thinks she’s too clingy and overthinks. does that even make sense 😭 thank you so much!!!!!

im gonna be real with u, this hit me real hard bc i get kinda clingy and i would always get brushed off by my friends and told im annoying for it n shit so this actually made me sad lol but i hope you like it

Characters: Jihoon x reader (sorta featuring seventeen)

Genre/warnings: idol au, lots of angst but fluff at the end

Word count: 2,271

Summary: Sometimes, you and Jihoon are exact opposites. For example, he likes his space, and you like being in his space. You just want to show him how much you love him, but you’re afraid of annoying him and pushing him away.

Considering you hadn’t heard from Jihoon all day, you assumed he was in the studio working. Being his girlfriend, you wanted to make sure he was taking breaks and eating; basically just not overworking himself. But when you found him, he was sitting at his desk, his face leaning toward the computer screen as he stared intently at his work.

He kept his space neat, and you never saw anything in his studio change unless Seventeen got a new award, or one of the members gave him a gift he particularly liked. His shelves were filled with awards, knickknacks, and various music-y things that he liked to show off. But the one thing your eyes were always drawn to was the picture that Jihoon kept on his desk.

Other than his computer and various tools he needed to produce tracks, he didn’t keep anything on his desk. He didn’t want things in his way, and he didn’t want the clutter--that was much different than his dorm room where he just tossed clothes wherever he felt like it. But the one thing he kept on his desk that had nothing to do with his music, was a framed picture of the two of you. Minghao had taken it but his whole group gifted it to him for his birthday. The two of you were grinning at each other, and you recalled he had taken your ice cream cone and hit your lip with it which caused you two to start giggling.

You had a lot of good times like that with Jihoon, despite the fact you didn’t have everything in common. The one thing you didn’t normally see eye-to-eye on was skinship. Jihoon was shy about it, and would usually only hold your hand in public. But even behind closed doors, he wasn’t the cuddliest or the clingiest. He’d sometimes kiss your cheek or give you a chaste peck on the lips. He let you cling to him and find comfort in his lap when Minghao made the group watch scary movies. But that was about as far as it went for your boyfriend.

You, on the other hand, loved anything that had to do with touching him. Any chance you could, you had your arms around him and were kissing his cheek. He’d blush like a tomato and smile shyly, so you didn’t do it as often as you’d like as to not make him uncomfortable.

No matter what, though, Jihoon always told you he loved you; and you loved him.

Jihoon hadn’t heard you enter since he had his noise cancelling headphones on over his ears. You could hear the soft click of his mouse every few seconds as you walked up behind him and knelt down beside his chair. He glanced over when he saw movement in his peripherals, but then returned to his work. You wrapped your arms around his upper arm, laying your head on his shoulder.

“What’re you doing?” he wondered, taking his headphones off with his free hand.

“You can’t work all day without breaks.” you told him, watching his screen just like he was.

“And you can’t interfere with my work,” he chuckled, slipping his arm away from you so he could move the mouse freely, “you promised.”

“I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest now that they had nothing to hold on to.

“I know, ___.” he sighed, finally pushing away from his desk and turning his computer chair to face you. “I promise I’ll be back in an hour. Just give me a bit of time, okay?”

“But I haven’t talked to you all day, and-”

“Come on.” he almost whined. “I have to get this done.”

Times like this were your least favorite. You hadn’t seen Jihoon all day and all you wanted was to cuddle into his side or hold his hand or literally anything that involved physical contact, no matter how small. But Jihoon was stubborn and wanted to work in peace like he usually did, and you had to obey his wishes. His work had to come first, and you already knew that.

But you couldn’t help but be upset about it.

“Fine...” you frowned.

Jihoon leaned forward and gave you a quick kiss on your forehead, but his cheeks were pink when he pulled away. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah...” you sighed, standing up and leaving his studio.

As soon as Jihoon was home, you were all over him. At first, he just chuckled awkwardly and walked to the kitchen, letting you cling to his side while you walked with him. He felt like he was dragging you around, but you just smiled and nuzzled your face into his yellow sweatshirt.

“When did you grow a second body out of your side?” Mingyu joked, standing at the stove when the two of you walked in.

Jihoon glared up at him, causing the younger boy to close his mouth and go back to cooking.

He sighed and gently tried to pry you off of him, taking a step away from you. “___, can we go to my room for a minute?”

“Ooh...” Mingyu said softly, only earning a scarier glare from your boyfriend. “...Sorry, hyung.”

Jihoon nodded for you to follow him, so you did, walking passed the full living room--none of them bothered saying hello because of the look on his face from Mingyu’s teasing--and straight to his bedroom. He let you inside first before he entered and shut the door. You sat on the edge of his bed, looking up at him.

“So, what’s up?” you asked, folding your hands in your lap.

“___...,” he began hesitantly, “I...think that maybe...you should cool it with the skinship.”

You cocked your head to the side. “What?”

You knew Jihoon wasn’t the biggest fan of it. Your relationship was still fairly new, and he’d never even had any female friends, let alone a girlfriend, so you understood that he was nervous. But he always told you he didn’t mind it every once in a while. Now he wanted it to just...stop? Were you too clingy? Were you annoying?

You’d always feared you were too much for Jihoon. He didn’t like skinship but you did. Had you gone overboard this time? Did you cross a line? Was he getting sick of you?

“I just...don’t...,” he paused, running a hand through his messy hair as he tried to think, “like it.”

“You don’t like it?” you repeated.

“I know it’s weird but can you just, like...-”

“No, it’s fine.” you quickly told him, forcing a smile onto your face despite the fact you were upset. “I’ll tone it down.”

“That’s all I ask.” he nodded, looking relieved. “Thanks for understanding.”

“No problem.” you told him as he gave you a small kiss on your cheek before leaving his room.

You stared at his door, so many worries swimming through your head. Were you too annoying? Were you pushing him away? Were you too clingy? Would he break up with you if you kept being clingy?

As your eyes filled with tears, you pressed the heels of your hands to your eyes to keep the liquid from flowing. You’d change for Jihoon. You’d do everything you could to not come off as clingy and annoying. You couldn’t lose him.

Over the next few weeks, you made sure to keep your distance. In fact, all of his members noticed the change in you. You stopped reaching for his hand when he sat beside you on the couch, you never asked him to play with your hair, and you didn’t cling to his side after a long day of him locking himself in the studio. Instead of doing that stuff, you’d just wrap your arms around yourself or hug your knees to resist the urge.

That wasn’t that only thing you’d changed. Even when you slept over, you slept against the wall, giving Jihoon his space in bed. You definitely didn’t sleep as well as you did cuddled up to your boyfriend’s body for warmth, but you didn’t want him to think you were clingy.

The whole time, Jihoon didn’t say anything. He figured you were trying to give him his space like he asked, and he was genuinely happy about it. But when a week turned into two, and two turned into three, and you hadn’t even so much as held his hand, he got worried. He just asked you toned down the skinship, not avoided him all together.

He didn’t say anything up until they had an event to go to. It was a charity concert with a lot of different groups and soloists performing, and Seventeen was in the lineup. As always, Jihoon invited you to go along with them. However, something was different when the fourteen of you showed up to the event for pictures.

Whenever you went to any sort of big event with Jihoon, you held his hand. He knew you didn’t like crowds, and he knew you were prone to getting lost in crowds since you were short like him, but he didn’t feel your hand in his. That was what worried him.

“Are you okay?” Seokmin had asked when he noticed you were holding your elbows and looking nervously around you.

You looked up at him, and he could clearly see the anxiety in your eyes. “Yeah.”

He chuckled, placing a hand on your upper back and trying to guide you to where Jihoon was walking with Seungcheol. “Go with hyung, he’ll-”

“N-no, that’s okay.” you smiled timidly, shaking your head. You didn’t want to tell him he didn’t want skinship with you, because then you’d be embarrassed that you were clingy and obnoxious. “He looks busy, anyway.”

Seokmin could clearly tell something was wrong, but he dropped the topic anyway. It wasn’t his business if you and Jihoon were going through something, and he wasn’t going to be nosy about it.

While the thirteen boys lined up to get their photos taken, you stood with the staff like you normally did. You kept your eyes on the carpet and your shoes, but you could feel Jihoon’s stare on you every now and then. You just tried to ignore it, fearing that even your staring at him would come off as too clingy.

You went straight back to the dorms, falling asleep on the couch. You didn’t feel like going out to party with Seventeen and the performers, so you changed into comfy sweats and watched TV. Inevitably, as you usually did at the dorms alone, you fell asleep to the sound of the TV.

You didn’t wake up until you felt someone lightly shaking your shoulder and whispering your name. You blinked a few times, your eyes adjusting to the darkness before you made out Jihoon’s face with the help of the light from the TV.

“You’re already home?” you asked, sitting up with a yawn. “Where’s everybody else?”

“They’re still out.” he replied, sitting on the couch beside you when you put your feet back on the floor. “___, we need to talk.”

‘Uh oh.’

Your heart sank to your stomach as you got a lump in your throat. If Jihoon wanted to talk again after you’d obeyed what he asked, it must’ve not been good. Did he want to break up? Was even being beside him annoying him?

“A-about what?” you wondered slowly.

“About you.” he said, surprising you by grabbing one of your hands in his. “What happened? Why did you stop being close to me?”

“Because you asked me to.” you told him quietly. “I was too clingy and-”

“Huh?” he let out a soft chuckle. “___, you’re not clingy.”

Now it was your turn to look confused. “I...I thought I was annoying you...?”

Jihoon’s face softened. He looked upset by your words, and he quickly shook his head. “Where would you get that idea?”

Your eyes were starting to fill with tears now, and you weren’t entirely sure why. It was party because you afraid you messed up, but also because of your insecurities. You didn’t want to annoy anybody, and thinking you’d annoyed Jihoon made you feel the worst you’d felt in your life.

“Because I like skinship and you don’t.” you sniffled.

He sighed softly, letting go of your hand to wrap his arms around you waist. “It’s not that I don’t like it, I’m just...not used to it. I still get...y’know...shy and stuff.”

Clearly, he didn’t like admitting he was shy about something.

“If any of the members tried to cuddle me like you, I’d deck ‘em.” he chuckled.

“But you told me to stop.” you reminded him, resting your head on his shoulder even though you were afraid of making him uncomfortable again.

“I just asked you to tone it down a bit, cutie.” he clarified. “I didn’t want you to stop it. It’s something I have to get used to, and I will; just gradually. Plus, I kind of miss waking up to your head in my side because you hid under the blankets in the middle of the night.”

You laughed softly, making him smile and kiss the top of your head. “Better?”

You nodded, wiping the tears that managed to escape. “So I’m not clingy and annoying?”

“Far from it.” he promised, his lips moving to your temple now. “You’re just my cuddly little bear.”

You looked up at him with a smile. “Now you’re getting soft.”

He frowned playfully, pushing your own hair into your face and making you giggle. “Don’t mention it to anybody.”

[flowerypudding]

a bulletpoint summary of jiuniang’s backstory ( aka i can’t ever be concise about ANYTHING so this is long also i cover yellow wine’s bg a little and make commentary on this / certain interperations )

bc idk who cares about this but i probably need to slap this on some pages at some point but for now, some very rough interpretations ( courtesy of me plugging things into three different translators and trying to make sense of things; aka this is also for my own reference so i don’t have to do that anymore ) 

here’s the very concise TLDR; about yellow wine’s backstory incase you don’t want to read bulletpoint hell below: basically yellow wine is a p decent dude who happens to hear about children being kidnapped and amongst the children that he ends up saving, jiuniang happens to be among them. bc she’s under orders not to attack ( from her m.a., presumably ), he decides to protect her and takes her home with him + is very quick to fall into the protective older brother role lol 

so we actually can’t start out talking about jiunjiang’s backstory w/out talking about yellow wine’s, because yw’s tells us about the exact circumstances under which they meet and give us extra context as to why she acts the way she does

also yes i’m lazy and abbreviating yellow wine to yw. sorry.

the tdlr; is that yw happens to overhear gossip about children being ‘lost’ ( it’s later made more clear that they’ve supposedly been kidnapped ), so yw decides to make it his business to be involved and goes to check shit out ( aka find the people involved and figure out where the children are )

yw finds the children and proceeds to unleash hell on the criminals ( via beating them up and then tying them up, probably not killing anyone? not all of us need to solve things with murder, if you’re a certain murder-y food soul pls take notes ). 

it also should be noted that the children seem to have been terrified from the start ( which is fair i mean they were kidnapped ) and yw has probably just struck more fear into them, gg. which forces him to take the children individually to get them out.

jiunjiang is, convienently, the last child that yw comes across— of course, he’s quick to realize she’s a food soul and asks why she hadn’t fought ( he notes that even if she looks like a child, she should still be capable of fighting / is strong regardless— the implication being, that despite being a child, she’s a food soul so she should’ve been able to fight; which logically makes sense ). 

it’s a little hard for me to understand the next part, but given what i know of her own backstory— she says her master attendant ( i assume ) wouldn’t allow her to fight back against them. it seems to be that her m. a. had been sold ( or herself, possibly? both seem possible BUT i think it’s supposed to be that her master had been sold / possibly she’d been forced to go along when he was sold )

which is something he was going to scold her for ( given that so many of the food souls do attempt to fight back for their masters / can’t when given the order not to, yw is probably the kind of the person with the mentality to fight anyways ), but ends up softening up bc he’s afraid of scaring her ( again ) and instead promises to protect her  / wants to take care of her

yw is NOT like crazy overprotective of her, but he’s pretty protective of her considering she keeps hiding behind him and being scared of basically anyone else.

oh also he does the head rub thing with her this is very important for you all to know?? thanks.

ANYWAYS. he ends up having to talk to like.. civil services? because of the entire ordeal ( you know. freeing children. tying up criminals. just your average tuesday ). she gets concerned and brings him some tea bc he’s working hard  ( this is jsyk she’s a good good girl??? )

also this is the first time we see her say his name, referring to him as ‘黄酒哥哥’ ( lit. yellow wine older brother >> which is why i refer to him as her ‘big brother’, although i’m not entirely sure if that’d be correct; ie. elder brother might be more ‘polite’ and in line w/ the original meaning )

also jiuniang is the kind of person to avoid gazes a lot, apparently. she keeps looking away / only looking up briefly ( probably part of her shyness ). at least at first she does anyways??

anyways the last part of yw’s backstory ( besides all the yw related details ) just talks about him taking her to different people in town and notes that she’s pretty shy around strangers / overwhelmed / nothing particularly important to note. tdlr; is that people seem to dote on her a lot. ( what a mood. we can all blame yw and everyone else if she ends up spoiled )

and that’s that for yw’s backstory, which means we can get to the good stuff now.

there’s no good way to summarize her background but here’s my best TLDR; of the really important details: under some circumstances jiuniang had been separated from her m.a. and is trying to find them, so yellow wine is helping with her search. they end up getting seperated while visiting another town, bc she runs off after spotting someone that seemed familiar to her. she ends up getting herself overwhelmed and panics and gets herself into trouble ( and almost gets KIDNAPPED AGAIN ). thankfully yellow wine saves her in the nick of time and also apparently the kidnapper is ( probably ) involved with whatever happened to her m.a. ?? it gets wild. also good sibling dynamic stuffs.

so we start of jiuniang’s backstory with her having a nightmare ( again, i assume this is about her master attendant ). if we are to take this to be something that happened or close to it, it seems like her and her master were kept in some bad conditions, which lead to them getting sick? ( if one / both of them had been sold re: the kidnapping incident, this wouldn’t seem too out of line w/ what might’ve actually happened. yikes. jiuniang has a bit of a ‘oh it’s just a dream’ reaction when she wakes up, so it’s also possible that this was like a worst case scenario dream come true ). 

( nyways this is one of the things that makes me read into her having some sort of ptsd )

anyways she wakes up and yw comforts her ( his reaction seems to indicate this isn’t normal, but we have no clue how long she’s been living with him so?? )

in the second part they’re traveling, and jiuniang gets dizzy so yw carries her on his back ( she also apologies to him so?? she hates being a bother i think ). she starts to ask him a question and she notes that yw’s usually not like that ( reassuring ) and even though he looks angry, he’ll always be soft towards her ( again not relevent but you all need to know this stuff )

we’re getting into parts i can’t fully understand again. anyways it turns out the question she has is relevant to their reason of traveling. from what i can gather, i assume she’s trying to find her m. a. ( now that she isn’t being held captive ), so yw’s reassuring that he’ll help her find them. when they get to town, she sees someone ( she recognizes them, so probably someone related to whatever happened with her m. a.? her master themselves? i’m not sure ), which sends her running off into town

the third part picks up here, with jiuniang lost and seperated from yw, which sends her into a panic attack ( ? i’d dub it as a panic attack bc this + the following flashback apparently pains her and also this seems like something that’d be covered by her general anxiousness and/or her ptsd / trauma ) bc the town is crowded / noisy / unfamiliar to her. we get a flashback of her and her master attendant. again, hard to tell what’s going on, but at one point she wants to fight for her master, but she’s told to not fight ( aka, this is what gives context to the stuff in yw’s backstory )

the third part wraps up w/ some public officers ( ? ) finding her and leads into the fourth part w/ them offering to help her ( ofc, when she says she’s trying to find her brother, they take this as needing to be reunited with her family ). she wants to go with the officers because they’re nice / trustworthy sort of thing; but also she doesn’t want to bc she knows if she waits, yw will come find her.

AND THEN THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS WILD. so an older woman calls out to them ( i assume probably claiming she’s her’s or something that gets across a similar meaning )— jiuniang makes a comment that i believe gets misheard as her saying mother ( again, don’t know chinese here, but yīyàng and niáng seem like they could sound close, especially given that jiuniang’s more soft spoken and stutters ). in reality, she’s actually terrified bc the woman gives her ‘the same feeling as the man in her memory’ ( so really her day has gone from bad to worse rip ). 

so ofc since they think she said mother, the officers think she’s been reunited with her family and tries to get her to go with the woman and meanwhile she’s just petrified with fear and can’t say anything.

thankfully yw comes along to save her :’’)

they’re literally the ‘i’ve known x for only so long but if anything happened i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself’ meme bc yw picks her up while threatening them with his sword owjflsak  

also instead of watching all this play out she decides to hide her face in his neck?? she’s such a baby 

anyways part four wraps up with her thinking about how she knew he’d come and how she’d been waiting for him ( i get really emo about how much faith she has in him tbh?? )

sO PART FIVE. remember how i was like ‘this shit gets wild’ yeah this is where we explain why that was all so wack. so APPARENTLY that old woman?? actually a cross dressing man. presumably the same one that jiuniang knew / thus why she was so fearful despite the disguise. this is also another part of ‘i don’t know what the fuck is going on i hope someone translates this so i can understand what’s going on’. 

but if i were to take a wild guess, that man and the master attendant she’s looking for are the two in the scene....? i can’t really tell what on earth is going on / the intentions, but they make it pretty clear that he was trying to kidnap jiuniang ( again ) probably.

( also hey what is it with jiuniang and kidnappings....... pls let this child rest?? )

anyways her backstory ends on a happy note at least. the misunderstanding b/w them and the officers gets cleared up pretty quick and we go back to her and yw, who is scolding her ( bc she frightened him ) except when she starts to apologize he’s like ‘no wait i’m not blaming you for all this’ he’s just not good at communciation. also the background event during this is him combing her hair. ( it mentions that he’s combing her hair but like super awkwardly / clumsily?? which is sweet.. he’s trying his best )

anyways she asks something along the lines of ‘will [older brother] always follow me?’ ( and she pouts at him?? look at what you’ve done you’ve spoiled her ) and he just kind of is like ‘yeah’ ( i imagine it’s like him sighing as he accepts that this is what he’s gotten himself into )

tldr; these two have a really sweet sibling dynamic and also she deserves not to have to go through any more shit thank u for coming to my ted talk

[simaethae]

That alien au is fantastic! it's so great and I want to know more of the plot

ldgblgb you’re assuming there is a plot and not, like, a series of bad excuses but thank you

anyway here’s the chatlog where we came up with it, warning for some nsfw and @yavieriel and i being nerds at length ^_^

simaethae: so what’s YOUR worst modern AU

[20:07] simaethae: i think i’ve read coffeeshop AUs in otherfandoms which talked about baking, which was their one redeeming feature

[20:10] Yavieriel: Coffeeshop AUs do have that redeemingfuture

[20:10] Yavieriel: (well, sometimes)

[20:10] simaethae: occasionally!

[20:10] Yavieriel: man there’s so many awful modern AUs tochoose from

[20:10] simaethae: oooh, sports AU. i know nothing aboutsports but i’m sure they have to exist

[20:12] Yavieriel: I’m not sure if it still counts as amodern AU, but for most what-the-fuck fandom trends, “the characters aremerpeople who are kept in captivity and forced to breed to produce mer-caviar,which is considered a culinary delicacy” has to win some kind of prize

[20:12] simaethae: oh my god

[20:12] Yavieriel: I’m trying to think how that would evenwork with Sauron and Tyelpe

[20:12] Yavieriel: suddenly Sauron is a lot moresympathetic?

[20:13] simaethae: i mean i would not exactly be AGAINSTsome xeno dubcon but the problem with AUs for the Silm is that without thecontext it’s really hard to get the characterisation remotely similar?

[20:13] Yavieriel: right, I was trying to think of some kindof.. parallels and

[20:13] Yavieriel: it very quickly turns into a completelydifferent dynamic

[20:14] simaethae: ….Sauron as the unethical scientistexperimenting on mer-Tyelpe. sexy bad experimentation. but that makesTyelpe…. kind of boringly passive?

[20:14] Yavieriel: Sauron as a traitor mer who’s beenselling other mers into captivity, maybe?

[20:14] simaethae: lmao

[20:15] simaethae: i still feel like that would be kind of adifferent dynamic tho

[20:15] Yavieriel: man one of the things that was reallystriking in the Strife of Truth with Art was how similar Sauron and Celebrimborstart sounding once you summarize too much and lose the context/details

[20:15] simaethae: bc External Threat?

[20:16] simaethae: yeah!!

[20:16] simaethae: i commented on how all the “whobetrayed whom” and “who stole knowledge/rings from whom” stuffwas getting super confused

[20:17] simaethae: which makes sense! especially when it’sbeen filtered through humans who’ve also been getting Sauron’s side of thestory

[20:17] Yavieriel: otoh in less-weird modern AUs, I feellike some kind of holiday-retail employment setting would be the meanest/mostinsulting to the characters

[20:17] simaethae: ahaha omg

[20:17] simaethae: but Sauron as the world’s worst managerwould be great. especially because he thinks he’s the best and has theflowcharts to prove it

[20:17] Yavieriel: at least in high school there’s the weirdsocial stuff where Sauron and/or Celebrimbor can have extravagant degrees ofinfluence over others

[20:18] Yavieriel: oh lord, yeah Sauron would be

[20:19] Yavieriel: although then I feel like Tyelpe has tobe, like, the other manager?  Or hisboss?  Everyone is baffled why theirgenuinely good boss decided to hire this asshole and thinks he’s so great

[20:19] simaethae: Tyelpe does a work placement with AngbandLLP, accidentally invents a way to improve [productivity metric] by 80%inbetween Sauron trying to do the good corporate mentor thing which, uh, doesnot exactly /not/ look like sexual harassment but Tyelpe isn’t sure he. minds?

[20:19] Yavieriel: [snorts]

[20:20] simaethae: it’s still not exactly getting theEregion dynamic tho is it

[20:20] Yavieriel: “is it sexual harassment if you’reinto it?”  "yes, but for thepeople around you instead"

[20:20] simaethae: lol yep

[20:20] Yavieriel: no, they’d need to be like…Tony-Stark-type genius inventor CEOs and Annatar is in disguise doing corporateespionage

[20:21] simaethae: oooh, yep

[20:22] simaethae: Tyelpe’s the Stark-type CEO and Annataris his terrifying PA, popular rumour has it that they’re sleeping together,Annatar started the rumour out of sexual frustration

[20:22] Yavieriel: the degree of influence and independenceand power they both have is just too high to really translate into being anysort of average person

[20:22] Yavieriel: [chokes]

[20:22] Yavieriel: does Tyelpe even notice that everyonethinks they’re sleeping together?

[20:23] Yavieriel: Annatar as secretly-evil!Pepper Potts,flame powers and all

[20:23] simaethae: yeah also realistically Annatar - doesn’twork for me very well as a human? because the bullshit he pulls is interestingif he’s a powerful alien who doesn’t get it, but would just be ordinarilyboring and shitty from a human :/

[20:23] simaethae: YEAH

[20:23] Yavieriel: right, if he’s human it’s just regularassholish-ness

[20:23] Yavieriel: shapeshifting alien Annatar?

[20:23] simaethae: …how would “secretly evil”even look in Marvel, all their governments are dying to be dictatorships anyway

[20:23] simaethae: yeah!!

[20:24] simaethae: i think you fixed it

[20:24] Yavieriel: if you go with an actual comic-book-typesetting that’s totally within bounds of plausible/normal

[20:24] simaethae: i think i’ve actually read fic along/vaguely/ similar lines involving Tony Stark and Loki, tho i might just befree-associating

[20:25] Yavieriel: keep the industrial espionage angleexcept Annatar was formerly like, Dr. Doom’s chief henchman?  Only he decided Tyelpe makes a much betterboss so Doom can go fuck himslef

[20:25] simaethae: shapeshifting evil alien Annatar decidesto work his way into a position of trust with Tyelpe, powerful CEO doing cleanenergy stuff, to get access to world leaders and work out how to work thesystem in advance of his bid for power

[20:25] Yavieriel: no I think I have too

[20:26] Yavieriel: or possibly we’re both free-associatingLise’s Steve/Loki series + all the Tony/Loki fic out there

[20:27] simaethae: Annatar is unavoidably distracted fromworld conquest because a) he kind of likes running a multinational company,it’s genuinely well-suited to his talents, and b) significant amounts of timewondering why Tyelperinquar won’t take the hint and importune his assistantalready

[20:27] simaethae: i think i actually still have thatbookmarked to read? but yeah

[20:28] Yavieriel: right, can’t Tyelpe at least be immoralenough to take some of the really blatant cues Annatar has been giving him

[…]

[20:44] simaethae: yeah, i was going to say Annatar would bereally great at running a big company, albeit partly by terrorising otherpeople into doing a good job and relentless delight in bureaucracy, so he’saccidentally damaged his prospects by making Tyelpe terrified he’ll quit

[20:44] Yavieriel: right, that time Annatar was running hishands of Tyelpe’s latest prototype and super into Tyelpe’s explanation of[obscure technical aspect of it] was honestly the closest he got to actuallypersuading Tyelpe to make a move

[20:44] simaethae: Tyelpe really likes being able to trustsomeone else to do the paperwork! what if he hits on Annatar and Annatarresigns and then he has to go back to filling in Form 33.C in triplicatehimself again!

[20:45] simaethae: :D Tyelpe is uncomfortably aware that hisfantasies about Annatar touching his engineering work are getting kind ofinappropriate

[20:45] Yavieriel: spend all that time actually managing hiscompany instead of inventing stuff and letting Annatar handle thelogistics?  The horror

[20:46] Yavieriel: (the potential for incredibly high-techbdsm sex toys in this scenario :smile: :smile: :D)

[20:46] simaethae: everyone else assumes they’re definitelyfucking and Tyelpe’s protests about how he would Never Do That are just areputation thing

[20:46] simaethae: (ohh, yes, excellent point!!)

[20:48] Yavieriel: people would be more concerned about thisin the general “unethical behavior from my employer” way except thatTyelpe has never even hinted at interest in anyone else, so everyone sort ofshrugs at it

[20:49] simaethae: also people who have actually met Annatartend to form a pretty accurate opinion of who would REALLY be more likely tosexually exploit who >_>

[20:49] Yavieriel: RIGHT

[20:49] Yavieriel: the handful of people who have consideredbringing this up with Annatar very quickly end up disabused of the notion thatAnnatar is being coerced in any way

[20:50] Yavieriel: if anyone’s getting coerced it’s them,they will be very happy to never be in the same room with Annatar again, thankyou

[20:51] Yavieriel: (obviously none of them had actually metAnnatar before, beyond possibly a polite handshake)

[20:51] simaethae: ….probably slightly more worried aboutTyelpe tho! Galadriel is one of the few people to be mostly sure they’re reallynot fucking, but it took some really embarrassingly conversations with Tyelpeto get there

[20:51] simaethae: yeah, or not in more than smileycorporate assistant persona :>

[20:53] Yavieriel: Galadriel is actually sure they’re notfucking and not entirely sure how she should feel about this, because on theone hand Annatar seems like a terrible choice, but on the other hand… Tyelpedoes need someone to take care of him, actually seems rather attached toAnnatar, and Annatar bizarrely enough seems to have some genuine feeling forTyelpe?

[20:53] simaethae: presumably it actually works out onceEvil Shapeshifting Alien invasion happens and Annatar changes sides orsomething because this was Not The Plan, he’s increasingly unsure what the planwas but it was Not This, but with some dramatic interludes in which no oneincluding Annatar is completely sure which side he’s on

[20:53] Yavieriel: why couldn’t her favorite cousin havebetter taste, she asks

[20:53] simaethae: yeah, Galadriel can’t stand Annatar butTyelpe seems…. happier?

[20:54] Yavieriel: right, like he’s definitely not on TeamSave The World, but he is on Team How Dare You Make My Boyfriend Unhappy andThreaten My Corporate Empire

[20:55] simaethae: or at least, happier when he’s aroundAnnatar, he gets this wistful look somtimes and she grits her teeth and tellsherself that bastard had better look after her cousin

[20:55] simaethae: yeah!

[20:55] simaethae: team How Dare You Touch What’s Mine :)

[20:56] simaethae: Annatar eventually gets fired, mayberehired, but also finally laid in the space of about an hour

[20:56] Yavieriel: tbh I think I read something like thatwith Superman and Lex Luthor, where Luthor ends up using his powers for goodbecause no one else is allowed to kill Superman and destroy Earth, how darethey

[20:56] simaethae: didn’t astolat maybe write some stuffalong those lines?

[20:56] Yavieriel: very probably

[20:57] Yavieriel: that would explain why I was reading it,usually I’m strictly team Superman/Batman

[20:57] simaethae: (so if Annatar’s actually a shapeshiftingalien I assume Tyelpe is. curious about the biology involved. he doesn’t wantto make Annatar feel as if Tyelpe’s not into his real form - if he has a realform, obviously this is purely in a spirit of scientific enquiry - )

[20:58] Yavieriel: yesssss

[20:59] Yavieriel: possibly there are tentacles involved:heart:

[21:03] Yavieriel: but definitely Weird Alien Biology,Tyelpe is very into this, Annatar finds it all fascinating and they mutuallyfind it really sexy when Annatar shows off his assorted alien features toTyelpe

[21:03] simaethae: yeah!

[21:04] simaethae: also Annatar being kind of - genuinelymoved by how into him Tyelpe is

[21:05] simaethae: turns out Tyelpe actually likes Annatarfor himself even when he forgets to constantly fake a more amenable persona??

[21:05] Yavieriel: right, and being surprised how much itmatters to him that Tyelpe does care about his not-human aspects

[21:05] simaethae: yesssss

[21:05] simaethae: Annatar wouldn’t have expected himself tocare!

[21:06] Yavieriel: right! He’s a shapeshifter by nature, it shouldn’t matter which form[s] hislover is attracted to they’re all his technically

[21:06] Yavieriel: but. Tyelpe is just into him, as a person, regardless

[21:06] simaethae: probably they go through kind of a weirdphase where Annatar’s like “so what would you like me to look liketonight” before they both work out that’s…. not really doing it foreither of them

[21:07] simaethae: (well, for Annatar maybe a /little/, but)

[21:07] Yavieriel: maybe Annatar’s native species is somekind of hyper-evolved octopus

[21:07] simaethae: ….i mean on the one hand excuse fortentacles, but on the other hand cephalopods ARE really good at camouflage??

[21:08] Yavieriel: it does a little for Annatar but he sortof realizes that it’s more “letting Tyelpe decide what he looks like/setrules” than the shapeshifting per se

[21:08] Yavieriel: right, like I was trying to think of whatwould be a good shapeshifty-species and also a native form that’s still atleast sorta appealing by human standards?

[21:10] Yavieriel: Annatar as something sort of like thishttps://i.pinimg.com/736x/83/61/49/836149daf9187173d766a3076eb762f9–octopus-mermaid-a-mermaid.jpg

[21:10] Yavieriel: but with golden hair-tentacles

[21:10] simaethae: YEAH

[21:10] simaethae: sharp teeth :)

[21:11] Yavieriel: and like, extrasensory stuff going on viaidk, telepathic tentacles or something?

[21:11] Yavieriel: RIGHT

[21:11] simaethae: some sort of electromagnetic ESP stuff?

[21:12] simaethae: because i’m p sure some fish can actuallydo that, idk about cephalopods but it wouldn’t surprise me

[21:12] Yavieriel:https://i.pinimg.com/736x/dd/6a/9b/dd6a9b56efa1308938dd8f9eee4cc4a4–elf-warrior-fantasy-warrior.jpgooooh, there we go, the hair-tentacles like I was thinking

[21:13] Yavieriel: yeah, and also now Tyelpe knows whyAnnatar always had perfect hair

[21:13] simaethae: NICE

[21:14] simaethae: also Annatar getting turned on by Tyelpebeing an alien to /him/?

[21:15] Yavieriel: Annatar’s native form isn’t actually verywell adapted for surviving on land, but they have a great deal of fun figuringout a sort of hybrid state that’s a bit more humanoid and handles being on land(or at least, in bed) better

[21:15] simaethae: (“your spinal vertebrae are in thesame place /all the time/?” “yes, uh, please don’t try to rearrangethem - ”)

[21:16] Yavieriel: the oxygen-deprivation can be fun, butthey’d rather not have to work around it every time they feel like getting thetentacles out

[21:17] simaethae: yeah, and also presumably Annatarwouldn’t actually be super comfortable in unsalted chlorinated water withoutany adaptations, so the bath wouldn’t be a great solution

[21:18] Yavieriel: right, like, sure Tyelpe can afford tohave a large saltwater tank installed but that has it’s own disadvantages, andAnnatar really enjoys the more decadent lifestyle possible when everythingisn’t underwater

[21:18] simaethae: …Tyelpe kind of pausing and blushingwhen Annatar gets comfortable enough to start, like, picking things up with hishair :)

[21:18] Yavieriel: yesss

[21:19] simaethae: yeah, or at least when the localtechnology isn’t well-adapted for underwater and your boyfriend can’t breathewithout air

[21:19] Yavieriel: also really fascinated by the variousneurotoxins and whatnot that Annatar is capable of producing

[21:19] Yavieriel: that too

[21:20] Yavieriel: hypothermia tends to be an issue as well

[21:20] simaethae: oooh, accidents with chemicals

[21:21] Yavieriel: Annatar’s completely resistant to allsorts of chemicals that are poisonous to humans, but turns out [totally commonhuman food] is a potent aphrodisiac for his species

[21:21] simaethae: Annatar’s species totally produce a wholerange of neurochemicals for reproduction/bonding with a mate and they’re not…totally incompatible with human physiology, although it’s a slightlydistressing interval before Tyelpe reassures him this is the GOOD kind of pupildilation

[21:21] Yavieriel: oooh, yes

[21:22] simaethae: or gets him drunk! :)

[21:22] simaethae: that one time Annatar walked out of ameeting where they had [snacks with ingredient in] now suddenly makes a lotmore sense

[21:23] Yavieriel: right! And another common food is extremely poisonous and there’s a ratherworrying incident where Tyelpe has to desperately hope that his understandingof alien biology is sufficient for him to appropriately treat it

[21:24] Yavieriel: also, Annatar now has an entirely newrange of options for terrorizing his subordinates

[21:24] simaethae: mm, and/or Annatar being like “don’tworry, I’m used to dealing with toxic chemicals, let me just do some quickinternal surgery” while Tyelpe’s like “what”

[21:25] simaethae: (i kind of think Annatar would be veryneedy and demand to have his brow mopped in response to minor injuries butdisturbingly blase about more major ones)

[21:26] Yavieriel: true, Annatar basically reaching in andrearranging his own internal organs in a very disturbing fashion

[21:27] Yavieriel: well, I was going for “actually foronce genuinely incapacitated”

[21:28] simaethae: aw, yeah. Annatar being like “youidiot I’ll be fine I just need to - ” [drops unconscious] :/

[21:28] Yavieriel: of course possibly Annatar doescavalierly rearrange his own organs and then passes out, all “I’ll be fineI just need to sleep this off now” but Tyelpe is understandably (andcorrectly) Very Concerned about this

[21:29] simaethae: right, also someone going bonelesslyunconscious when they literally do not have any actual bones is a surprisinglytricky logistical challenge

[21:30] Yavieriel: akldfj;sdk yeah, Tyelpe trying to figureout how the hell to move an unconscious octopus that’s basically twice the sizeof an adult human once you factor in all the tentacles

[21:32] simaethae: right, and kind of hoping he doesn’ttouch anything that triggers a reflexive sting while Annatar’s unconscious>_>

[21:33] simaethae: aslfn wait let me make it worse. Annatartotally does sting on reflex while unconscious, but his body recognises Tyelpeas his mate and decides now is definitely the time to shoot him up witheuphorics

[21:33] Yavieriel: ooooh

[21:33] Yavieriel: yeah that would be extremely not helpful

[21:34] Yavieriel: mmm, and leading in tonot-really-conscious Annatar trying to mate with Tyelpe like he’s another ofthe same species

[21:34] Yavieriel: which

[21:34] simaethae: which doesn’t make Tyelpe exactlynot-worried, because getting high isn’t the same as not having emotionsanymore, but does make him kind of poorly coordinated and probably prone toending up with both of them half-in the bathtub with Annatar on an improvisedIV line, while Tyelpe gives in and snuggles

[21:34] simaethae: omg

[21:35] Yavieriel: Does Not Work, but in ways that are…decidedly interesting

[21:37] Yavieriel: Tyelpe snuggling Annatar in the bathtuband waking up to tentacles doing something that is… not exactly pleasant butstill rather sexy

[21:38] simaethae: Annatar being groggily affectionatebecause mate! here! everything is correct and good! while Tyelpe is kind ofworried he’s taking advantage of Annatar in an altered state of consciousnessbut also a) that feels really good if extremely weird and b) it’s a good jobTyelpe’s into this because Annatar’s pretty determined to snuggle >_>

[21:38] Yavieriel: yessss

[21:39] simaethae: right, he’s kind of worried this is goingto end with eggs being laid in /someone/ but not enough to actually stop :)

[21:40] Yavieriel: warm salt-water because Tyelpe did havethe foresight to put together an emergency kit of sorts to make the bathwatermore appropriate for Annatar’s natural state, but that’s also encouraging, ah,mating behavior

[21:40] simaethae: yep!!

[21:40] Yavieriel: la;dkfjs;lkafj YES >.>

[21:41] simaethae: Annatar’s biology being like, “ah,clearly this is a warm tidal rock-pool, the perfect place to spawn”>_>

[21:41] Yavieriel: he’s pretty sure the thought ofegg-laying shouldn’t be turning him on either but he did decide to bang anoctopus-alien, soooo

[21:41] simaethae: alfgblgn

[21:43] Yavieriel:https://thattoychick.wordpress.com/2014/07/12/weird-sex-toys-o-the-week-the-what-dildo-edition/it is a thing

[21:43] simaethae: Annatar’s been great about exploringhuman sex, Tyelpe doesn’t want to make him feel as if his natural behaviour isunwelcome! Tyelpe can totally try out whatever Annatar’s into for once! no,really. he’s ready to explore this any time now

[21:44] Yavieriel: hilariously I once ran across someoneusing one of those to do jello shots, because you make the “eggs” outof gelatin

[21:44] simaethae: oh my god

[21:44] simaethae: what do you know you really can findeverything on the internet

[21:45] Yavieriel: you can! It’s amazing

[21:48] Yavieriel: [sighs]

[21:48] Yavieriel: alright, it’s quarter to five, and if Iwant to finish sweeping the driveway before it gets dark, I need to go do that

[21:49] simaethae: yeah i’m getting sleepy again

[21:49] Yavieriel: go sleep, that’s important if you’regoing to feel better

[21:49] simaethae: good luck with the driveway in that case!i’m glad we managed to get from “really bad modern AUs” tooviposition kink in a single conversation :>

[gracemcrgans]

( paris berelc / cisfemale / she/her ) the paparazzi have spotted GRACE MORGAN, the TWENTY year old CREW MEMBER who’s currently working as PRODUCTION ASSISTANT on THE BROKE PACK. the tabloids have called them SELFLESS and CONSCIENTIOUS, but also NAIVE and IMPULSIVE . during their time in the spotlight, they’ve been dubbed the WINSOME. ( devon / 25 / est / she/her )

self control? i don’t know her

*clears throat* just a small town girl...

never mind

grace honestly came to be for two reasons: 1) because i am absolutely trash for any one of u (in this case it’s debbie hi debbie i love u) and 2) because.....look at paris’ face hello there

anyway, grace moved in next door to ajax dumont wayyy back when she was six and ajax was eight (ask her about the first six years of her life when she lived in pennsylvania and all she’s gonna remember is her mom’s obsession with wilbur’s chocolate factory)

their friendship was too pure ok just....lil ajax and grace went everywhere together like.....i imagine grace spent a lot of her free time making friendship bracelets and finding cool things for them to do together 

tbh as a kid she wasn’t the best at making friends and as long as she had ajax she was a-ok (it worked out mostly bc she was an only child)

like....mr. morgan legit built them a tree house where the kids spent a good portion of their childhood just chit chatting away and eating whatever pie mrs. morgan cranked outta the oven that week

when she was little she wanted to be an obstetrician but then she realized all the difficult tasks that come with that and....like, new career field pls

grace is quick on her feet--quick witted, industrious, and full of ideas but hesitant to share them unless they are proven to be the Best Ever

she wasn’t really involved in theatre but definitely wrote up lil monologues now and then just for lols

but she just couldn’t see herself in front of the camera so as high school dragged on and she got herself involved in yearbook club and acadeca, grace kept a notebook full of ideas (which she still has, and secretly, she hopes one day they’ll be bigger than her wildest dreams)

when ajax headed for college, grace was admittedly lost, but she distracted herself by helping out at the nursing home that her grandparents lived in (for two years!!!!! we love a queen that multitasks w school and clubs and work.  i could never.)

tasks included being part of the waitstaff, reception staff, and even the janitorial staff

it was a really fast paced but fun environment and grace really loved connecting to the elderly people and hearing all their stories--she’d come home from work and ignore her homework just to fabricate a story that one of the residents had told her, using her imagination to make things more interesting

surprisingly, grace volunteered to help the residents put on a play (despite her reservations toward anything involving lights and camera and....action. 

spoiler alert: old people love her and she even has a pic saved on her phone of herself and a gal named edith....both of them with the puppy snapchat filter.  

of course she kept ajax in the loop all while this was happening bc they were still best friends like....some grow apart but not them !! hallelu!!

it wasn’t till some months later that she found out about ajax’s situation, and because she wanted to be there for her best friend, she quite literally dropped everything, put her life on pause, and took off for a new adventure in a completely different city

she definitely had that holy shit i just moved to los angeles for my best friend without actually planning it moment but....at least she has her high school degree?

there’s a chance you’re wondering what the trope is here, and imma tell you

y’see, grace would never admit it to anyone, but part of the reason she bit off more than she could chew in high school was to take her mind off the fact that maybe she was very slowly falling for her best friend

and now especially with stella in the picture she’s like MUST NOT NOPE I CAN’T

after being on set with ajax for literally two days, someone on TBP crew mistook her for one of their own, and now....well, let’s just say she uses all of her past skills to make sure that the broke pack cast and crew gets everything they want

she’s the literal epitome of fake it til you make it

hasn’t got a clue what she’s doing and doesn’t get much sleep nowadays but just wants to make people happy

i wouldn’t mind someone using her for their own romantic advances

she’s literally always awake like homegirl actually has a coffee with her at all times

yes she still has her dream notebook and prob won’t show anyone not even if u ask nicely

really wants a tattoo of a butterfly on her lower back but lowkey scared of needles

also probably attempted being a youtuber and has one (1) makeup tutorial on her channel

has ‘why won’t you love me’ by 5sos on repeat....also ‘mandy’ by the jonas brothers bc mfin bop

loves grilled cheese and eats it with avocado (tbh i would try it)

anyway !!!! give me (more) best friends, gimme crew buddies, big sib/lil sib vibes

i just....i want it all, y’all know me by now

last....intro....i’m forbidding myself to make a new character until my birthday u heard it here first

ok thanks for coming to my ted talk

(debbie lmk if i need to fix anything thank u)

[thekidultlife]

Oppa-ya | Jihoon Idol!AU | Part 3

(A/N: a lot of you guys wanted me to continue this haha but I was really hesitant bc this is bone dry angst than fluff. I was even sincerely hurt as I wrote this lol. Anyway one angsty chapter coming right up.)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

“Are you still having trouble with that guy you liked?”

That question suddenly popped out of nowhere one night as the two of you casually lounged at the sofa in Bumzu’s studio for a break. He was playing some soccer game in the PS while you munched on a lollipop with your sharp canines—different from how you two seemed to be back in the recording room.

The weeks suddenly turned stressful when Pledis announced an All Star concert featuring all of Pledis’ artists that Seungkwan wasn’t even able to execute his plans. You and Jihoon were assigned to produce a song which will be sung by everybody at the encore, which, of course, should be a masterpiece yet for now, nothing really came up.

So when Jihoon threw that question to you, you almost choked on the shards of broken lollipop in your mouth and struggled to spit out a reply.

“…well, it’s still pretty much the same. I can’t really do anything if we’re like this. I’ll probably just wait for a miracle,” you told him with a defeated chuckle.

“Why don’t you just tell him? Who knows you two might actually work out,” Jihoon said as he scored a goal in the video game he was playing while you watched him with an eyebrow arched.

“Now you sound just like Hanna,” you lightly laughed at his amused face. “The thing is, I’m afraid I might get hurt and I especially don’t want him hurt.”

“Wow,” Jihoon remarked sarcastically with a tiny grin on his lips as his dimples appeared. “But as far as I know, relationships always involve getting hurt. So instead of regretting that you two didn’t end up together, it’s better to be hurt because you can proudly say that you two actually became a thing.”

You knew he had a point but you were too stubborn to accept that you were doing something foolish. In end, you just brushed it off with a joke.

“Wise words from the one and only Lee Jihoon,” you teased him as he tried to avoid your finger poking his sides to distract him from the game. “But I’ll keep that in mind.”

“By the way, Y/N, are you busy this Saturday?” Jihoon again asked you as you began recalling your schedule.

“Apart from a LieV later on that evening, then…nothing. I’m free, why?”

“Ah, if it’s like that, would you want to come with me?”

Jihoon abruptly asked you so nonchalantly that you thought you had to do a double take and process everything in your mind first.

Is he…is he asking me on a date?

“Come with you? Where?” you cautiously asked back; your heart beating rapidly at Mach speed, your breath holding on to his every word.

“Oh, just lunch. So you in?”

“Seriously? He asked you for lunch?!”

Hanna, Hazel and Leigh were almost shouting at the top of their voices in your group’s dorm that you had to cover up their mouths and profusely told them to shut up.

“Yes, now be quiet,” you told them as you sipped your cola with an annoyed glare. “He casually invites his friends for lunch so don’t make it so big of a deal.”

“Yeah sure, he invites the vocal unit for some samgyeopsal but he never invites girls for lunch,” Hanna reasoned out but you tried to ignore her. Despite that, you can’t deny that you were feeling hopeful.

“You should dress nice!” Leigh suggested excitedly as everyone agreed except you who only scowled.

“I ain’t going shopping,” you hissed at them yet they simply smirked at you.

“Tomorrow is a day off, right? Let’s hit Hongdae! It’s been a while since I’ve been there!” Hazel chimed in as she kept on rocking you back and forth.

“Then you guys go. I plan on doing some composing tomorrow,” you replied as you got off the bed but Hazel merely dragged you back with one pull.

“NO! You will look pretty in that date so you will be coming with us tomorrow!”

“I told you, it’s not a date!”

The off-white dress looked terribly complimenting on you as you faced yourself in front of the mirror. You didn’t want to prepare yourself so much for your lunch with Jihoon later but here you are daydreaming about how your date will proceed. No it’s definitely not a date.

“This is so wrong…” you whispered to yourself but you did your make up so well that anyone would have thought a professional have done it. You wore your best shoes, your best perfume, your best in everything—in conclusion, you prepared for your date so eagerly that you could no longer deny it.

When the doorbell rang a quarter to eleven, you hid the fact that you were actually excited and opened the door to see Jihoon looking very casual with just a green button up and jeans. The moment he saw you, Jihoon felt his eyes widen in surprise that his mouth only opened and then closed, and then opened once again.

“Hey, are you ok?” you asked him with a wave of your hand as he broke off from his state of shock.

“O-oh, hey…um…wow, you actually dressed up,” he muttered as he gave you another look while you stubbornly stopped the stupid smile forming on your lips.

“Hanna and the others bribed me to wear this,” you clarified as you closed the door behind you and put on your coat as Jihoon nodded in understanding.

“Ah, so that explains. Anyway, let’s go,” he told you and started walking towards the elevators.

However, instead of a delightful date like what you hoped for, life isn’t really that kind. Everything in that whole duration of two hours and forty-three minutes became just a blur to you like one of those Impressionist paintings hanging behind your seat in the restaurant that morning.

“Jihoon, wow! You look so grown up now!”

“You don’t really stop with the teasing, noona.”

Surprise.

Disappointment.

 “But you would still humor me anyway. Oh, you brought your girlfriend?”

“No, no. We’re just friends, right Y/N?”

Pain. Hide it. Smile like how you were trained.

 “Y/N, I want you to meet Seulgi-noona. She’s one of my closest friends back in Busan.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you! So you’re also an idol? I haven’t really updated myself these days.”

 Small talk. Music in the background. Glasses clinking.

Big smiles. Hidden glances you noticed. Pain. Hurt.

 “Her group is really popular these days, you might have even heard their songs playing in public places.”

“Ah yes, I’ve actually heard your songs before! Wow! I would have never thought that I would meet two idols today. Anyway Jihoonie, you’re still composing songs?”

 Flustered. Red ears. Embarrassed and shy. Bashful. Small smiles. His dimples.

 “Well yeah…I’m one of the producers of Seventeen’s songs so…”

“That’s really great! I knew pushing you to go to Seoul was the right thing to do! But I’m sorry if I haven’t contacted you for a long time. I was so busy with university and all.”

“Ah so that’s why you haven’t recognized me right away. But I returned to Busan a few years ago and you weren’t there anymore.”

 Realization. One Fine Day in Japan. Disappointment. Hurt. Pain.

Hide. Hide. Laugh.

 “Actually that’s why I wanted to see you.”

“Why? Are you in any problem? I can help.”

“No, honestly, it’s not a problem. I’m here…I just wanted to give you this.”

 Silence. His smile fading. He’s hiding. Let’s hide.

“Oh. You’re…you’re getting married.”

“Yes, I moved in with my fiancé a few years back that’s why I left Busan. Anyway, I really hope you’ll come…oh and Y/N, you can also come too! I really like you.”

Silence. Background noise. Cars honking. Streets filled with people.

02hrs 43min 12sec 7ms

END

The muted noises faded away and your ears seemed to return to normal and you finally realized that you two were walking back towards your dorm in comforting silence.

“Jihoon-oppa.”

“What is it?” he replied to you as he buried the fancy envelope in his coat as he also buried his emotions deep inside.

“Seulgi-unnie isn’t just a close friend, is she?” you asked as you braced yourself for the impact.

“Seulgi-noona…she’s…,” Jihoon paused for a while, sighing as he can’t really contain anything anymore. “Well…she’s my first love.”

You smiled bitterly as your eyes threatened to wet themselves but you were better at keeping your feelings at bay.

“I saw you staring at her earlier,” you teased with a fake grin on your lips but Jihoon didn’t spare you a glance.

“Hm. Really?”

“Well then, how do you feel about her getting married?” you asked again, torturing yourself. I’m becoming a masochist.

“I don’t know.”

You hummed at his terrible answer; faking playful curiosity. You were after all a better actor than Jihoon.

“Do you still like her?” you asked straightforwardly, this time pursing your lips as you desperately tried to hold off all of your emotions.

“I…I just don’t know! She’s my first love Y/N! I grew up loving her! Do you think it’s that easy to forget?”

Jihoon finally burst everything that he has kept from the moment he laid eyes upon that invitation card to the time Seulgi waved him a goodbye; looking never so satisfied in her life than the present.

“Whenever I go home to Busan, it’s her I remember! She’s in everything I see back there—in our yard, in the port where we played with the boats, in the corner store as I buy popsicles! She’s the one who persuaded me into becoming who I am! But now she’s going to marry someone! And I’m even fucking invited! How am I supposed to move on?!”

He was huffing by the time he ranted his heart out as you stood there in the middle of the deserted street looking at him who was so desperately in love with someone else who he could never be with.

It must have been your way of comforting him or your way of comforting yourself—you walked towards him and enveloped him into an embrace; placing his head on your shoulder and patted his back. Jihoon would normally recoil at the sudden skinship but everything was in chaos that your warmth felt really inviting. 

“You still do love her,” you remarked as you again bit your lip to stop the tears. Not here. Not here. Please.

“…I don’t know,” Jihoon replied and removed himself from you and walked onwards.  

“Yes you do, you idiot.”

“Wow. How are you still alive after that?”

Seungkwan commented as he took a sip from his iced americano with Leigh and Hanna looking solemn beside him.

“Well, it’s not the end of the world. I can live with that,” you replied with confidence in your voice; the straw of your iced latte between your lips.

“You’re so stubborn,” Hanna remarked as she tapped the table; thinking.

“No, I just refuse to mope around all day just because he likes someone else,” you defended yourself with a bite on your tone. “Besides, I don’t want to be like those idiots flirting behind us.”

“You’re also bitter,” Seungkwan added with an annoyed expression. “Look Y/N, crying doesn’t make you look weak, okay?”

“I already cried last night and it’ll be the last time I will. This is stupid,” you replied as everyone sighed at your mulish behavior.

“If you need someone who’ll listen to you we’re here, Y/N,” Leigh told you as she patted your back with a small smile. “If you want, we can watch that crime show you always wanted!”

You shook your head as you stood up and gathered your things.

“Thanks, but maybe some other time. I’m off to the studio,” you told them as you left in a haste.

Seungkwan watched your retreating back as Hanna took a sip from her drink, also exhausted from taking in all of your bullshit.  

“Something tells me that this isn’t over.”

-Admin Hyeri

[kenjkats]

That OOC Liam Thing

LOL okay welcome to another one of my long ass TED talks bc I’ve seen responses to this thing and I just wanna say stuff, I’m a rambly person if you haven’t noticed. Also bc I LOVE Liam because of how kind and loyal he is and seeing this as something he would do in CANON even if it’s an alternate universe where you say no (I said yes, obviously), makes me CRINGE, and judge him, because wtf this isn’t my Liam lmao. ANYWAY.

So the situation in question is Liam offering still being together with MC even in a sexual/friends-with-benefits way while they are with their chosen LI during the diamond scene after his proposal. You can see screenshots here.

First of all, I’m not telling you I am 100% right, feel free to tell me something I said here is wrong and why. I’m not raving mad at people who said things and whatever, I’m just still so SHOOK by this character development I need to talk about it lol.  This is me opening a discussion.

The first and most obvious problem with this is that it is jarringly out of character for Liam. The whole time the story made it out as Liam being totally in love with MC, wanting to marry her because not only would she be a good queen, but it’s a rare opportunity for him to marry for his country and for himself. It was greatly emphasized that he loved her, and that this wasn’t common, and (at least for me, correct me if I’m wrong) there were a lot of implications that he and other LIs, would have wanted exclusivity. I say this because there’s dialogue of Liam saying he wants only you, or you being able to tell Drake you don’t care about the King and just him etc.

The whole situation is very off-putting, to say the least. PB set Liam up for maximum pain by only allowing fans to reject him and tell him the truth right when he was down on his knee and proposing. Not even one moment before when they saw the ring, no, they made MC the jerk and watch him get on his knee and ask first. Then they make him the bigger guy by letting him be accepting of you and your LI. The whole setup was bad enough for Liam, but then the way the proposal of this arrangement is set up is also problematic:

Liam is put in a desperate light. As if this man who has his pride and self-respect throws it out the window because he will take any piece of this woman he loves even if it’s just the sex. And it goes against what PB has written him to be like.

He is also put in kind of an asshole light. He proposes a side thing/polyamory without the consent of the third party who is a friend to BOTH of them btw.

And if you’re like me who was under the impression that the King was about exclusivity with you, and so were the other LIs, then this feels dirty. He would ask you to willingly cheat on them with him? After saying he’s happy for you guys and that his friends found love? No. That’s weird.

Some say MC is also painted in a bad light because she has these choices, but since kissing him, having sex with him, and accepting the duchy is all up to the player and not forced default dialogue, this is free and I have no judgement. 

In the end this will be MESSY. Story-wise and development-wise. It’s difficult enough for them to balance out these LIs, they added Maxwell in, and now they’re going to add this branch where you have two? It’s potentially A LOT of drama that would be very different in dialogue compared to a playthrough where you stuck with one. 

You would have Liams getting married to him, still friends with everyone else; or choose Drake/Hana/Maxwell, deal with Bertrand, be happy with them, Liam is still happy for you; and then what? this third one where you’re trying to get everyone to agree to poly, there’s drama because I would find it hard to believe everyone agrees to that just out of nowhere*, you potentially hurt the LI you didn’t consult before sleeping with Liam? Then in book 3 what does this mean? Liam will still flirt with you even when you chose someone else?

*About polyamory. I won’t pretend to know how this works because I’m a monogamy girl, but as someone in the comments pointed out, and this makes sense to me, this kind of relationship can work, but for certain kinds of people, and Liam and Hana AT LEAST, don’t seem like those people. Also because shouldn’t everyone have agreed first before you even have the option to sleep with Liam? Even if this is a step into diversifying relationships in Choices by adding polyamory, it’s still sketchy AF because of how it would be set up.

My thoughts on this shift to the developers BECAUSE it’s so OOC, you can’t help but look at the creators, not the characters.

I believe that this is a diamond grab and this infuriates me. There was no build-up or previous mention that this was a “thing” in Cordonia and the scene was written with Liam just casually, “oh you know, by the way, conveniently enough it’s a thing here so it should be okay.” Like that detail was way too convenient and not set up properly enough for me to accept it as actual world building, and looks to me like a randomly inserted not-so-fun fact to justify them asking for diamonds with a sex scene.

You would sacrifice the integrity of the character you built up over 2 books, that fans adored for his personality, by making him do something OOC when he throws his self-respect out the door and be so desperate for any piece of MC, just so you can slip in this diamond scene, with the hopes that you earn some money from those who would take it. Pretty greedy if you ask me. If you guys wanted a diamond scene offered regardless of player choice then like others suggested in the comments you could have:

1. Let players tell him earlier that morning that you wanted someone else. It was pretty clear he was going to propose, should’ve done it before he took you out and got on his knee. Then go tell the other LI and give them a diamond scene. That way you have all LIs have a diamond scene in the chapter. You still get your money, rejected King or no.

2. Or, should’ve kept the diamond scene friendly when you told him no. I find it hard to believe someone like Liam written to be THAT in love with MC to be accepting of rejection then okay enough emotionally to have sex with her right after. Like him being accepting is in character, but I imagine him being so traumatized by all of this like wtf? As a Liam romancer, it feels soooo iffy knowing he would do this because it raises questions about his love for MC.

Comments I’ve seen and my take:

1. He was fine with the Madeleine arrangement no surprise he’d be okay with this.

These two are completely different things. Even if it was iffy that he was asking you to be his side-chick, the circumstances allowed for it to be not so bad, morally. Liam was forced to pick Madeleine, he was trapped in an arranged marriage. Madeleine proposed the arrangement, thereby giving her consent to it. Liam offers this to you because he loves YOU, and has the hope that his arrangement with Madeleine won’t last. And if you continued dating Liam then MC consented to it. 

Consent is present in all parties involved. The setup occurs because they want to be together and in love despite an arranged marriage in their way, and there was hope for a future where it wasn’t in their way. MC brings up (or is this a dialogue option I don’t remember) in several diamond scenes that if he does end up marrying Madeleine, they would have to talk and most likely end things.

This one with Liam x MC x other LI is messy. The third party has no chance to be consulted before you can sleep with Liam which just sets up this alternate route filled with potential drama that is so different from how peaceful the others are set up to be after this chapter. MC and Liam are not trapped in anything. This would be a choice to cheat on third LI together (if you view this as a monogamy then friends-with benefit offer rather than potential poly.) The whole “having a side piece with the one I love” factor in the first arrangement doesn’t fit here. In this scenario MC loves other LI, not Liam, and having him as a side piece is just MC wanting more sexytimes and frankly SO MEAN after rejecting his love and proposal already ENOUGH MC.

2. I read a post by @littleredroseonthevalley here, talking about how these societies do tend to have these cultures of side chicks and side dudes.

The thing is I would agree and let it go if this was established earlier on. But I had only seen this into play in TRR when Liam says Madeleine proposes this, and it was a situation of marry for duty, be with the one you love in private. Also again, there was the hope that this was TEMPORARY.

Just all the points I’ve brought up so far. It’s OOC for Liam, it’s very messy development-wise, like how is PB going to handle all these LI branches when they get situational too? And how this tidbit was very casually slipped in at a moment where knowledge of it made it okay for you to sleep with him even when you wanted someone else.

[soundsosweeet]

okay so this is just a rant and i’m posting here bc the least amount of people know about my account lol so feel free to skip (it’s more for myself anyway bc it’s so hard for me to discuss with other people since my sister is home all the time)

so i guess this all started this summer (well not technically but that’s when things started to actually happen)... we have a family groupchat on imessage with me, my sister, and laura’s (my sister’s partner) family (laura is white and so is her immediate family...) and this past spring it was brought to the gc’s attention by my sister that people were basically stocking up on guns and ammo as a response to covid by trump supporters bc he called it the china virus. laura’s dad, of course, who tries to avoid conflict at all costs, tries to change the subject to be more lighthearted and one of his other children, laura’s younger sister notices this and acknowledges it in the gc. later on that morning, my sister made a very important observation and brought it to the gc. i have pointed out before that 3 out of 5 children in this family are with asian people to laura and she expressed that the thought didn’t even cross her mind. the other two siblings are 1) not in a relationship and 2) with another white person. anyway, how do you not notice something like this?? something so blatantly obvious. and it’s not like they all JUST got with these people. they’ve been together and/or married for YEARS.... anyway my sister basically said all of this in the gc, and pointing out how laura’s dad was trying to deflect and change the subject. she pointed out how it must be easier for them to not talk about racism, esp towards asian people. laura kinda backed her up but of course, the bare minimum support. she never says anything to her family esp her parents about anything serious ever. unless my sister points it out to her bc laura is just so oblivious. they’ve been together for what like 17 years and my sister only started to speak up about her negative experiences with laura’s parents a few years ago but she has had to endure racist comments a lot over the years. she has told me this and has expressed her frustration to me about laura and her family. i think she started to talk to me about this bc she knew that i’d understand and she wanted me to help her put these things that she was feeling and experiencing into words that would help laura and her family (mostly her parents) understand what they’ve been saying to her these past several years at times were very offensive. going back to the story in the gc, laura’s younger sister backed up their father and was basically trying to say that he wasn’t trying to go against my sister at all, he was just trying to avoid the subject bc of very stupid reasons in my opinion, she said her father was trying to “steer the conversation away from stockpiling ammunition and general doomsday predictions. This is undeniably bringing out the worst in humanity, but we as a family don’t need to be feeding each others’ fears about it.” like okay.... i’m sorry you’re uncomfortable???? but my sister is right. they never talk about these things (as expressed by laura after having to be asked by my sister) and they need to. it’s long overdue. this was the first part of laura’s sister’s message to the gc in response to my sister, before what she said about steering the convo away from the guns and ammo: “We’re all frustrated right now and it is boiling over. Racism is unjust and sometimes fatal and  it’s absolutely justified to be mad as hell about all of this. And you’re right that sometimes we all avoid the topic of race and racism because we can’t find the right words to skillfully address them or we just don’t try hard enough to. I’m very saddened to hear that on top of everything else, some people are having to fear racially motivated backlash right now and in general.” i really don’t think they’ll understand or ever truly try to understand.. they don’t even want to talk about it!! that’s where my other frustration comes in. with laura. i get that in her own way she’s been trying to help my sister and get her family to talk about all of this but in my eyes, it’s not enough. my sister always raves about how laura is this nice, caring, and understanding person. but i feel like that only is true for things that are directly related to her, or things that are only within her comfort zone. and this kind of conversation, esp with her family, outside of her parents, is outside of her comfort zone. she has also expressed that doing these kinds of things (like having serious conversations) brings her great anxiety which is understandable, but in my eyes, she is using her anxiety as an excuse rather than an explanation. idk if that makes any sense but in other words, i feel that she is using the anxiety that this situation brings her as an excuse not to talk about it or have the least amount of involvement in it. but my sister believes that she is the key to open up the conversation that needs to be had, with her family. i think my sister is right. look how quickly they shot my sister down. they’re not going to listen to her. but they will listen to their beloved daughter. so she needs to create that bridge. and she says that she is trying and i guess she is but i feel like again, it’s bare minimum, if that really. anyway after that comment by laura’s sister, my sister left the gc and the convo in the gc was normal by the next day. same old lighthearted photos and comments and white people humor that i never seem to understand. and just recently, laura’s dad added my sister back to the family gc like WHAT LMAO. i just don’t get it. i mean i guess i do bc to them it doesn’t directly affect them, so they don’t care as much but fuck dude, like this family’s shit!!!! i hate it here lol. 

related but also different story, time, place, etc. so we’ve been living in this house for about 6 months now. this city, as big and diverse as it is, we i guess got stuck around literal trump supporters lol like just my luck really. how do we know that?? well when i look at all the wifi networks, “Trump 2020″ comes up as an option. and it is still there even though he lost. anyway. another example, well idk if they’re trump supporters but i’m making an educated guess bc our neighbors across the way have this huge lit up US flag. like it’s the US flag made up of lights and they turn it on every evening since we got here.... in september. idk how long they had it up before we moved in but man, it’s literally been up and lit every night since we moved in in september like ???? i thought they would take it down after christmas like bc it would make sense, bc they were gonna take down their christmas lights anyway but nope. they took everything else down but the flag!!!! not our whole neighborhood is like that though, or it doesn’t seem to be. you know those yard signs (i know this is bare minimum too but it kinda gives me hope after the whole wifi and flag thing) that are like “love is love, black lives matter” and all that?? omg i found it, it’s this:

anyway so i see these around too, in addition to american flags and shit. but i was walking my dog one day in broad daylight, i think it was like around 3pm. i was on my own street like on the way home, and i had just crossed the street bc we live on a main street i guess and there are a lot of side streets, so i was just crossing one of the side streets but still stayed on the same side and everything. this car pulls up to the stop sign that i just passed, and by back is facing them, and this guy that sounds about my age like early twenties maybe a bit older was like “HEY LADY WHY ARE YOU WALKING YOUR DINNER. WHY IS THE DOG EATER WALKING HER DOG. WHY ARE YOU WALKING YOUR MEAL.” and just a bunch of variations of essentially the same thing. i know they were trying to get me to turn around when they just kept on going, repeating basically the same phrase. the guy even yelled at me to turn around but i didn’t. the whole time i was looking forward and just kept walking. i also believe he was in the passenger seat but that’s just the way the car was facing like the passenger seat would’ve been the closest to me. i think i heard whoever was in the driver’s seat like chuckling after the guy’s first sentence. i was so scared. i was so scared they were gonna follow me home. i was almost home like i was already on my street!! luckily they didn’t follow me home, and they turned left after they were done harassing me. if they turned right though, then i would’ve been even more scared that they would stop the car and try to hurt me. this old guy who was in front of his house heard everything that happened though and i think saw the guy who was yelling at me and the car that they were in. as i was passing his house, he asked me if i was okay, and of course i lied and said “yes i’m okay, thank you” and kept walking. what else was i supposed to do. idk. i rushed home after that though. this car even drove by me and stopped just ahead of me and i thought they came back but i think they were just lost bc as i was approaching the car, they drove off, probably looking at directions or something. so how this is related to what i was talking about at first... laura told her family about this. her parents and her younger sister (the one that defended her dad earlier). all they had to say was “i’m sorry that happened to you” essentially. like i grocery shop for her parents bc they’re old and you know less exposure and i don’t mind it at all, but anyway when i was dropping the groceries off at their house, laura’s mom asked if i could talk for a minute on the porch and i said yes and she was basically like “laura told me about what happened to you last week” and i was just like “oh” bc i knew that laura told them but i wasn’t expecting either of her parents to actually talk to me about it bc ya know like they always try to avoid talking about serious shit. but she was like “i’m so sorry that happened to you. that’s horrible. there’s still terrible, incredibly racist people out there.” and i was like yeah bro i know in my head lol like ???? there have been many incidents recently that are much worse than mine surrounding asian people esp the elderly, and she never mentioned any of that. just what happened to me. idk it just bothers me that they only really “care” when something happens. i mean they never actually do anything after the fact but they only say shit like that or wanna talk about it when something bad happens to me?? fucked up.

also just some other problems i have with laura (i’m copy/pasting from my notes app lol and adding stuff to it if i feel like it needs more context or whatever):

(i guess this is more about my sister and laura’s relationship and not just laura...) how do express that i’m not part of their relationship. ofc i wanna help my sister bc i know she has a hard time explaining these kinds of things bc she’s explicitly told me and bc i know she’s had to keep quiet or felt like she’s needed to keep quiet for a long time but i’m not part of their relationship. i shouldn’t have to be this person in the middle trying to relay what my sister is feeling to laura so that it’s clear and easy to understand for her white ass fucking brain. bc also the truth is that laura should already know. she’s only ever been with women of color that i know of and i know she’s not oblivious about the history this country has with people of color. she must know something at least but when it comes to her family making weird remarks about asians, she either doesn’t catch it or doesn’t defend my sister. only recently has my sister been comfortable telling laura that these things happen, that she feels uncomfortable with some of the things laura’s parents say whether they’re directed at her or not. and my sister even left the family groupchat bc she tried to say something to the whole family specifically something laura’s dad said about asians being targeted for “causing covid” (not just her parents but the extended family, two of her siblings are also with asian people) but got a negative response (from her dad and her sister) and so she felt the need to leave. they’ve been together for so long like 17 years?? and all of this is just being addressed now but my sister feels that laura isn’t doing enough to make her parents understand the things that my sister has gone through throughout her life and the racism she’s faced and now the heightened amount of racism other asian people are facing. and she’s also scared bc she’s not straight, obviously she’s with laura but laura’s white. and ofc she’s not straight either but she’s still white and that will always come first bc it’s what people are able to see. so when my sister is “being paranoid” about the people who live around us finding out about them because laura’s parents want to give them my sister and laura’s info just in case something happens, laura can’t quite explain my sister’s reasoning to her parents the way that she wants her too. she thinks that laura is sugarcoating these things for them and she doesn’t know why - does she think they won’t understand?? is she just protecting them?? who tf knows. but my sister knows for sure that if they aren’t told straight up why my sister is so scared, then they’ll never understand and they’ll keep trying to do things like this. and ofc i get why my sister is scared, ofc i don’t fully understand but i can imagine why. 

also i just believe that laura is ignorant (and chooses to be). which really sucks, again bc from what i know she has only been with women of color, her ex and my sister. at least those are the only two relationships that i’ve heard of. but i know she also graduated undergrad with a degree in sociology. i know times have changed and that she might not have learned all of the things that i have learned in my sociology classes but fuck man. she’s really gonna limit herself to learning about these things in a classroom esp when we already know our education is targeted towards and favors white people (esp back then, like early 2000s)?? yikes. i don’t understand how one who is not only with someone esp for this long but also got a degree in this kind of stuff just isn’t interested in keeping themselves informed and educated. like just bc you’re with a person of color doesn’t just give you this pass or all the knowledge that you need to know bc guess what, my sister doesn’t even understand all the things that we do (like at this summer, at the peak of the blm protests, my sister asked me “what about asians, why aren’t people talking about how asian people have suffered during the pandemic”). but i know my sister is at least kinda trying. she reads things every day to keep herself informed and also attends virtual discussions. laura does not. my sister has even told me. she works and that’s it. and she says that she understands that laura has anxiety and that these sorts of topics make her really anxious. but i think she’s just scared. i mean i don’t want to undermine her anxiety at all. that’s not what i’m trying to do. i just think that she’s using it more as an excuse rather than like an explanation, if that makes any sense. i just don’t know what to do bc this really frustrates me. and i feel a lot of pressure bc my sister has no one else to talk about it with. and i obviously want to help her and she talks to me bc she knows that i know these things and can help her put these things into words for her so that she can explain everything to laura. but laura gets reeeeeally defensive. and that’s also really annoying. she just shuts down and closes herself off. bc it’s like she doesn’t even try to understand and that’s what i don’t understand about her and this whole thing about her being “nice” and supportive or whatever. this is what my sister has told me and my cousins. that laura is the nicest person in the world. and she’s the one who has told me many times that “anyone can be nice.” and i’m not saying that laura isn’t nice, bc i think she is but i still think that she keeps that kindness and generosity and caring/compassion within her own circle. like she doesn’t necessarily try to do anything for people that aren’t directly within her circle of things she cares about or directly relates to her. she will only donate to organizations that she has a connection to but not the ones that don’t necessarily relate to her like literally anything that involved black people this summer. it didn’t even seem like a possibility to her. it just angers me so much that she’s painted as this really nice, caring person but she doesn’t even care enough to really understand her own partner’s struggles and stand up to her parents for her when she needs her to without being asked. i know it takes time to notice these things especially as a white person bc it’s not really stuff they’re used to noticing or whatever but shit. it’s the least she can do. really. like it’s about time. 

and an update from the present bc the points i made above were from january (right after the incident walking my dog). laura has a new position now at work. she’s the temp assistant nurse manager bc someone left so they asked her to take on the position. she’s only temp bc she technically could be the permanent one but she doesn’t want to do it since they apparently don’t do as much hands-on patient stuff and that’s what she likes to do i guess. it’s more paperwork i believe than she’s used to with her regular position. anyway, before she took on this new position, my sister told me she talked to laura about how even before, she didn’t really help around the house at all. like she’d come home after work and just sleep or dick around. meanwhile, my sister also works all day, cooks, cleans/does laundry (for the house but also her own AND laura’s which i’ve told her more than once is ridiculous.. that she does laura’s laundry), does grocery shopping, etc. like basically everything else, in addition to me, bc i also do a lot of stuff around the house. i also cook, i clean, and i take care of the dog, and go grocery shopping w my sister too sometimes. but the only thing laura really does (and she doesn’t even do it anymore since she started with this new position) was walk the dog. truthfully, i haven’t had the courage to go out again by myself to walk the dog since that happened to me. and i feel like i eventually will but idk. so my sister basically told her if you take this position, you need to promise me you’re gonna try even harder to help me/us around the house. bc her shift time has also switched like instead of coming home around 8pm, she now gets home around 3pm, so much more daylight and time in general to be helping around the house. but guess what. nothing has changed. i haven’t spoken to my sister about it or how she feels, whether or not she thinks that laura is getting better about helping around the house but at least imo, nothing has changed. if anything she sleeps more bc she gets up so early for work now so she naps when she gets home, and nothing gets done bc she has such a hard time getting up after she takes a nap. annoying. 

and an addition to what i was saying about how laura completely shuts down when we talk about her and her family, like how they don’t do shit about anything: when we were talking a couple weeks ago about what happened last spring in the family group chat, laura said that she had texted her sister about the situation to get her honest opinion about what happened and ask her why she responded in the way that she did (defending their dad). my sister and i kept asking laura to tell us exactly how their convo went. and she would look at her phone and tell us pieces. i could tell she was leaving stuff out bc while she was looking at her phone, she’d pause and not say anything, as if she was reading and not tell us bc it would upset us, and then continue on a couple seconds later about the stuff she thought was okay to say. she just didn’t want us to shit on her sister. i could feel it. i even asked her if i could just read the text convo rather than her “reading” it to us, bc she wasn’t actually reading everything and i thought it would be easier than her trying to explain everything they had already talked about. she hesitated then said no, she didn’t want me to read. my sister asked why and she just stayed silent. laura always says that she says to her family and feels that she “just wants to open up a conversation.” okay then what is this?? she’s not even telling us everything!! my sister asked her again why she doesn’t want us to read the texts. she asks “are you afraid we’ll get mad at her (her sister)??” and laura replies yes. my sister says why?? give us a summary of what she said if you don’t wanna read word for word. laura says her sister is just defending their dad and is angry towards my sister, targeting her anger towards my sister bc of what she said in the gc. laura’s sister feels that my sister was specifically targeting her anger at their dad at the time and she was still mad about that. do you see what i’m saying?? this family is fucked. laura does not want to open up a conversation from what i’m seeing. when we’re against her and her family, she doesn’t wanna talk. if we wanna talk generally about racism and homophobia, she’s okay with it. how can you say you wanna “open up a conversation” and not converse or only talk about the stuff that isn’t as difficult to talk about???? but my sister tried to get laura to tell us more by adding that if she told us, we could help her formulate a response she can send to her sister to help her understand where my sister was coming from. laura still refused to tell us. and i still haven’t seen those texts yet and i don’t think i ever will. and i don’t think laura will even talk to us about their conversations anymore. she’s too scared. and that’s all i can think of rn lol. i might update this later but yeah..

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: bouquet garni

Next up, @skadventuretime, @guacamoletrash and @jamesfalt (Souly on Discord) stopped by to chat about their Resbang, bouquet garni! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Madi, how did you come up with everyone's characters, like Harvar being a gaming streamer and Tsu and Liz being farmers etc. etc. because I thought those were all really unique and interesting!

madi: Ahaha let's see, I started planning this back last... May? and talking with the beta crew, as one does. And naturally marsh [ @marshofsleep ] , enabler that she is, just put it out there.

madi: And I was just playing a bunch of overwatch at the time and thought he'd be a good gamer nerd, and also I had decided to make this Extra self-indulgent, so I was like “my city now”. I basically poured all of my friend feels into [Harvar] and Anya in particular. The past couple years have been rougher for me, but I've had some really spectacular friends, and I decided Maka and Soul needed them, too.

Q: The part with the sword and stuff, I just…

madi: OH THAT ahahahaha. Okay yeah that was end of Resbang crunch time and me being extra 'fuck it.'

madi: That was what the team thought about that.

Q: Artist-chans, what programs do you use and how does your arting process go? And how is guac so good at playlisting??

Souly: I use paint tool SAI :0 I might still have some of my progress pics, lemme look.

guac: Lol. I don't think I'm super good at it but I do enjoy music a lot and like to make playlists so maybe that's it!

Souly: Yeah here we go. Mid lining.

I did it a lil differently than I normally do. I normally line everything and then do flats but I was actually super behind bc of life stuff so I just started doing flats per character after their lines were done. This is a sample of what the layers look like:

madi: Man how do u keep track of ur layers? Or is it like, a sixth sense?

Souly: I go off of the little layer previews and hope the layer has what I'm looking for.

madi: LOL that sounds like me.

Souly: I also like... tend to set up layers for characters a specific way so I can normally find those?

guac: BRUH THAT'S SO MANY LAYERS.

Q: Did you have a favorite character to write? 8)

madi: I just love writing Star being balls to the walls ridiculous. The saxophone thing came about because I saw this video and was like oh my god it's Black Star in the flesh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMyqasy2Lco . But I also really liked writing Maka being sort of the one with issues, too.

Q: Which character in your fic did you most identify with? And was it purposeful or accidental?

madi: Iiiiiiii'd have to say I identified with [Maka] the most this fic, for once. Usually it's soul, but I ended up pouring a lot of myself into her, and it was both purposeful and accidental how it all worked out.

Q: I’m surprised, because there were a lot of things I noticed about Soul that I know are you-things!

madi: Yeah!!! I definitely can't help that with him, they both got a lot of me.

Q: I know you said this fic was super personal and self-indulgent so was it generally pretty easy to write because of that, or did you have trouble?

madi: Hmmmm yeah I definitely had some trouble. About 20k in, I sort of lost the emotional thread of it, and whined a lot to Bones [ @adulterclavis ] about what I could do to fix it, and it turned out that I just needed to talk to someone about it to find where I wanted to go again, and then it got easier. I still struggled for sure not having a traditional Big Antagonist plotline thing, it was more personal and then Maka's mom… Bones let me cry in her inbox about writing.

Q: What brought about your characterization of Mama Albarn (who i still hate btw >: ((( )?

madi: You are not the only one...

guac: I'm always ready to fight her.

madi: Okay so, basically Mama Albarn came about just from how I used to (and still sometimes do) talk to myself. It's that internalized idea you always have to be perfect, and if you aren't given everything you've been given and have, then you're weak and a fuckup and how dare you not be the best? DEFINITELY a toxic mindset, and Bad. And this fic was sort of exorcising that, a little. This was an external abusive deal, but you can absolutely develop abusive thought patterns towards yourself, and you can also free yourself from them, like Maka was ultimately able to.

Q: Was there a scene in particular you really enjoyed?

madi: I heckin’ loved the butt lamp scene. It honestly kept me going, knowing I'd be able to write that monstrosity. And also drunk Kid, who marsh aptly named Five Drink Amy. AND THEN GUAC skl;dfkld. So there was this, right, and then guac

madi: Which linked to THIS PIC:

madi: And we all could not stop laughing.

Q: What was the hardest part to write?

madi: I got stuck at the end of chapter 3, and I ultimately added another section on to it to make it work, but I think deciding how I wanted to transition from her debauched night out into a Soul POV chapter given what I wanted each person to sort of be faced with was probably the hardest thing for me. This whole deal was largely driven by me groping in the dark at what felt right.

Q: PS I loved the debauched night out. And Patty's drinks.

madi: I loved patty in this!! Bones wanted to marry her, so I know it Worked Out. She was another fun one to write, as were her drinks ahaha.

Q: What was your favorite thing about this Resbang in particular?

madi: Oh jeez, hm. I think my favorite thing was doing a better job fleshing out the side characters in Harv and Anya and Kid and Star. That was something I regret not doing better in my older work, so I'm happy I got to try my hand at giving people other than Soul/Maka some personality.

guac: They became such a cute little chosen family.

Q: Why a food-themed story specifically? What about that appealed to you? (For everyone!)

madi: (Apeeled).

Souly: I fucking love SoMa. [And] the cooking aspect really drew me in... idk why but I've always had a thing for those kinds of things with anime I'm into?

guac: My current relationship started with them teaching me how to cook real food cause I used to eat like a garbage can, so I was like ‘welp this is gonna be hella cute, count me in.’

madi: Omg, I didn't know that, that's ADORABLE.

guac: Shhhhh. I don't talk about my feelings very much. But yeah. I was like ‘a SoMa AU about my life!!!’

Souly: Honestly yeah same, I feel like I also like... connected with Maka about being poor and just buying shit to eat.

madi: Let's see, I had a prompt sitting in my inbox FOREVER that was like 'I’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and I flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and I definitely want to say yes AU' that I was initially gonna go with, and originally it was a little closer to this deal. My first blush ideas for this sort of had the drama in not knowing who was whom, and the big reveal being the climax, or something like Maka thinking Soul was taken because she thought he was involved with the comment girl and then that whole drama. But then I thought that that sorta thing had been done before, and I wanted this to be less about the drama of the reveal and more about the process of them growing closer, I guess. And I also looooooove cooking and baking, so that definitely bled through.

Q: I thought it was a neat shake up how you didn’t make the reveal the crux of the whole thing.

madi: Ahahaha yeah, I definitely thought about it, but ultimately wanted this to be less 'gasp, it's YOU!' because the reader knows, and if I wanted to make the reader invested, I'd have to keep them apart and do the kinda drama I wasn't feeling for this fic. The insta bit came about because I spend some time looking at food pics before I go to sleep, and that provided a lot of insp for that section. Half of my degree is in nutrition, so I like to see the recipes people come up with, and also roll my eyes at some of the bougie stuff, because insta is definitely a Platform for that, depending on where you end up haha. Also like, I definitely took some things I've experienced flat out and added them in, like Harv shoving Maka electrolyte packets. Last year when I was deep in the sad pit, my diet was terrible, and I knew it, but I wasn't doing much about it. And then one day I was talking to Bones and my leg muscle kept spasming, and she was like dude when was the last time you've gotten minerals and I was like .....oh. So she sent me a link for those packets to hold me over on days I wasn’t getting them from my diet ahaha. Bones is also where some of Kid came from, and bits of Anya.

Q: Where did you get your recipes? I want a cookbook based on this fic p...please.

modi: Okay okay let me find some of the recipes that inspired things:

https://showmetheyummy.com/crockpot-mexican-chicken-recipe/ https://www.instagram.com/p/BfWNxv9HuHg/?hl=en&taken-by=thefeedfeed.

[Bones] was also the steak recipe insp!

madi: The kitchn, thefeedfeed, showmetheyummy, minimalistbaker were all feeds that I was inspired by, and then I just improv’d from there, because I have cooked all or most of the things I described in there. AND IT'S WHERE MAKA'S CUPCAKE GAZING CAME FROM. LOOK AT THE GLORIOUS MOUNTAIN OF ICING https://www.instagram.com/p/BaRGvjGDBpr/?hl=en&taken-by=thescranline

Q: Did you feel like your writing has changed at all during writing this?

madi: Yeah, for sure! I thought that this year I got better at characterizing people, adding some personality to them that was a little more nuanced than I'd done before. I think I absorbed some of Bones's longer sentence style, which I personally tend to like even though I am still getting a handle on it, and I think I got better at describing things in general. Next step is being better with plot and tightening up the language a little more >:) Most of the changes, I think, were sentence style and how I handled dialogue, which is usually harder for me.

Q: Artists: did you learn any new techniques that you plan to practice or improve on any you've been trying to learn?

Souly: Oh yeah, I learned doing flats as I go with lines actually speeds up the process slightly... I practiced a different lighting technique that I never did end up going with but I kinda figured out what I need to do to make it work. It sadly just didn't work with how I set up this pic.

madi: Oooo nice, linework is Intimidating but you made it look easy.

guac: I am just glad to force myself to make stuff. Glad to be here. Thought my drawing of bodies got better (thanks Black Star).

madi: Y'all don't understand the sound I made when I saw guac drew the apron.

Souly: That Blackstar pic is my fave.

Q: WHAT'S NEXT, everybody? ;D

madi: >;) well, I have a secret project that I thought of last year that I am not yet sure will be a Resbang or a chaptered dealio, so I want to pick at that. Then I have a chaptered Star vs the Forces of Evil fic I need to update, and I owe Pip [ @paperypiper ] like two or three Noragami fluff pieces, and SILLY’S BDAY SMUT. Which will proabbly be like a whole year late but whatever I’m sorry, I will try to make it extra spicy.

Souly: I'm signing up for a few zines! I'm currently waiting for them to open apps but I'm looking at an Enstars zine, FMA tarot project, and some YOI zines. I was also recently in the Soul Eater reversal zine that just closed preorders the other day so I'm waiting to be able to post my piece :0

guac: I'm arting for the BNHA big bang and mostly consumed by school. Who knows what will happen next! There's a little pop punk lyrics + anime project I'm working on so maybe I'll show it to the world someday soon. We will see.

madi: OH YEAH I’m writing for that bang too! AND GUAC GOT ME AS AN ARTIST. It's the ultimate resonance.