#bc as he said
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Talk about Tessa (pre-betrayal) and talk about Sage (post betrayal)
(PLEASE LOOK AT THESE AMAZING BANNERS @the-blackened-dove MADE FOR ME) TESSA "The damned best thing that's happened to me besides. . .well, besides Lourdes. It's not simply that she saved my life in Afghanistan; the advice she gave me to stay my course instead of joining Xavier's side was invaluable, and all her advice since has been as well. I don't always follow it, of course---one's one decider must be oneself in the end---but I respect no source more. She is a precious asset, and I provide for her accordingly with whatever she needs; I appreciate that she has yet to exploit this. Many have likened her to a robot, and while I believe they mean this as an insult, I see it as a compliment; computers are precise, unhindered by emotions or their own ideas of morality, and simply do as you ask. I've never had cause for anger or grievance with her, not even once. Even when my endeavors were failures, her part in them was not." SAGE "Who? No, really. I'm not tryng to be facetious or funny. I realize I truly have no idea who that woman is. I tried to get her to be Tessa once by force, and then was foolish enough to accept when she offered to do so willingly, blinded by hope. I paid the price for that, as I should. I really can't say much about her. I suppose however clever and ruthless I thought Tessa to be, Sage is more by far. It does make me wish I held her service still---but I'll never be fool enough to attempt or accept it again. As I said before---like trusting a scorpion. I abandoned Tessa to Bogan, I grant---perhaps I had a plan to rescue her without paying the ransom, perhaps I simply cut my losses, I'll never say because it doesn't matter---and if she had turned on me for that....that I would understand. I couldn't begrudge it, it would only be sensible. But that wasn't it. It was that Tessa was never real in the first place; there was only ever Sage." @emmatriarchy
#Shaw that was not the advice she gave you#she just said you'd be rich if you didn't take Xavier's path#anyway a thought I've had a lot is that it would make a lot of sense if Shaw intended to rescue Tessa himself#rather than have to choose between her and his fortune#and Storm just got there first#but Claremont never has him say or imply this and I'd think he'd bring it up in trying to win her back#and tbh it seems to me an idea that lets him off the hook too easy#like sayng oh he didn't REALLY leave her to Bogan he had a PLAN#like#I don't like retconning things to make chars look better even chars I like#at the same time it does seem sensible#so I go with him just saying#what if I did#but never clarifying if he actually did or not#never claiming it#leaving it ambiguous#bc as he said#it really doesn't matter#emmatriarchy
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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If you've ever told a person who's had to be bedbound for a period of time that you wish you could "just stay in bed", DO IT.
Stay in bed. For days. But don't get up if someone needs you to, or you get bored, or you get antsy. Don't do anything other than rest. Just lie in your bed, whether you need to get stuff done around the house or socialize or anything else "productive". You'll have to cancel on people, you'll disappoint them, they won't understand.
And if you're thinking, "well, i CAN'T just be in bed. There's stuff that has to be done - I have plans", maybe ask yourself why you assumed a disabled person doesn't have plans or things to do or desires.
#Disability#Bedbound#Housebound#Actually disabled#Chronic illness#Long covid#Chronic fatigue#Inspired by my boss asking what I did over the weekend and I said I couldn't get out of bed and he said that sounds nice actually#I'm literally only able to work bc I am in bed at all times I'm not at work and it's still so hard and painful#I can't get my own groceries or cook my own meals or socialize or eat at restaurants or go to movies or take care of my own pets#If I didn't have a loving generous caring spouse I'd be dead by now
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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sooooo triple-S team (Starscream-Soundwave-Shockwave) being the High Guard means that they are far older than Megatron and probably worked with Primes directly… just like Sentinel... And before carrying out his betrayal, he could have tried to rizz them (and fail miserably) so that they would more likely to continue working for him...
#transformers#transformers one#maccadam#starscream#soundwave#sentinel prime#HE GOT 0 GAME... MAN TALKS ONLY ABOUT HIMSELF#sketch#shockwave isn't there bc he said “we won't ever be able to have a proper conversation because of how low your intelligence level is”#STRAIGHT IN SENTINEL'S FACE AND WITHOUT HESITATION
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cub calls himself "a champion of the people" in his twitter bio and i've always thought it's pretty funny bc like. what does that mean. but recently i've noticed i don't think he's like ever taken a sponsorship (not that i've seen at least and i've watched probably like 700 cub videos). he doesn't even have a business email anywhere. no patreon or anything. he does have a discord for twitch subs but you only need to subscribe once and you won't be kicked out when the sub expires. bro really is the champion of the people
#he said brands and companies DNI#cubfan135#this only brings back the age old question of is he secretly rich bc id imagine the youtube and twitch payout isnt huge with his views#golf is such a rich person hobby
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the three lads! :]
#spy x family#sxf#damian desmond#emile elman#ewen egeburg#my art#they're fashionable for their time periodddd#not all the outfit references i used were from the 60s but then again not all of sxf itself is from the 60s so!! i'm allowed#'s a mashup of like#the 50s 60s and 70s. roughly#emile is shorter because I Said So i am short and i decree he is short too#WILL DRAW THE GIRLS TOO BC I LOVE EM DEARLY
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the public reaction to i saw the tv glow is like a perfect case study into how cis people take up queer spaces and unknowingly mock and enjoy trans suffering. sitting in the theater, i had a pit in my stomach the entire time. so many times, i would tear up and then someone else in the theater would laugh. and i wouldn’t cry because how would they look at me when the lights came back on? because they don’t see it. they don’t see the pain. they think it’s funny. i left the theater completely silent, not saying a word to my boyfriend and he didn’t say a word to me until partway into the drive home. the people around us immediately got to picking it apart, explaining what it all meant to each other, dumbing it down, making theories. cis people see the the movie, just like transness, as something to debate. a conversation. something to dissect because it makes them uncomfortable if they don’t understand it in their easily digestible way.
#i wanted to cry so bad. i had tears behind my eyes. and i couldn’t after hearing everyone in the theater LAUGH#also if you’re the girl who said she didn’t see a trans allegory in it: you are srupid#i saw the tv glow#jane schoenbrun#my bf is the one good cis person btw he saw how heartwrenching it was bc he loves a trans person (me)
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i never understood ppl claiming percy has never suffered the consequences of his loyalty. you're talking about percy "i know the prophecy said my friend would betray me but these are my friends they wouldn't betray me" jackson, who walked into a remote part of the forest with luke and almost died in book one. you're talking about percy "kronos told me point-blank there was a traitor but i can't imagine any of these ppl betraying me" jackson, who decided to stop looking for the traitor and moved on. you're talking about percy "nico is acting suspicious and very clearly hiding something from me but he's my friend and i trust him" jackson, who walked into nico's very obvious set up and almost got himself held hostage during the titan war. percy is so loyal that he cannot fathom betrayal until it's happening, and it has nearly killed him multiple times.
#i think ppl focus on what athena said#'you would destroy the world to save a friend'#but that's not fatal for percy! that's what makes percy dangerous *to the gods*#loyalty is a fatal flaw *for percy* bc he can be told point blank that his friend will betray him and still not be able to comprehend it!#i don't know that percy ever voiced his inability to consider betrayal to anyone (in the books i'm pretty sure it's internal dialogue)#so all anyone else sees is the danger he poses to *them* and *their plans*#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo hoo toa#pjo books#fatal flaws#percy#min talks pjo
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"You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate"
[Too Sweet by Hozier]
#the voices told me to#like the true English speaker I am I did have to go back and fix all my spelling mistakes#i thought he said “lean” instead of “neat” bc i didn't check the lyrics until the end :)#cod#cod mwii#cod mwiii#cod mw2#cod mw3#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#comic#comics#comic art#web comic#original comic#digital art#sketchbook#sketch#art#drawing#artists on tumblr
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back to the shadows 🌑
inspired by the storm by pierre auguste cot, shri’iia and astarion running away from the sun bc he’s a vampire and she has sunlight sensitivity.
please zoom in to see the details! 🥹🫶
#astarion ancunin#astarion x tav#astarionmance#bg3 tav#drow tav#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#hag romance.#mine.#oc: shri’iia.#this is finally done….OMG …the amount of grief this has given me is insane…#I redid the bg 4 times bc I was trying something new but it didn’t work out the way I wanted to sigh#this wip has been sitting in my folders for so long it’s actually one of the first wips I made of them and im very glad I decided to hold#it off until now bc idt I would’ve delivered it the way I wanted to before#but I rlly like how this turned out!! 🥹🥹🥹 her armour is so ridiculous I love it#also love how she’s serving face and he’s like. burning lmfaooo#but who SAID I don’t finish my hag romance drawings!!!!!!! who said that!!!!!
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Thinking about how (a humanoid) Bill would see Ford be older after those 30 years (because that’s how people work), and so to try and appeal to him again, he makes himself look older too (I mean, he’s WAYYYY older than Ford actually, but I just mean visually)
But then after he’s killed and sent to the Theraprism, he goes back to his original twink look, and I say this because I already did a drawing of my humanoid Bill in prison and I like how that design worked with his pathetic traumatized orange jumpsuit look more than I think I would like it with an older looking version 😁 plus uhh I don’t wanna deem that drawing “not canon” to my brain so yeah
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#I said in my discord that older bill was giving lesbian 😭#it’s so goofy bc like…I decided a more ‘mature’ version of him would have THAT hair.#which is the SAME HAIR i give to both Manfred von Karma and William Afton#which would be FINE#if I didn’t already give ‘younger’ Bill the SAME BANGS I give to both Miles Edgeworth and Michael Afton#THIS CAN’T KEEP HAPPENING TO MEEEEEE#I’m so in love with older Bill’s coat oughhh the blue inside RAHHHH#I gave him a big bow on the back of it bc 1. I liked how it looked and 2. reference to my design for his mama#and then he has straps on his eyepatch now bc reference to my humanoid design for his dad#anyways yeah toxic evil triangle man tries so desperately to appeal to his ex boyfriend just to get rejected 😔😔😔
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thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life
bonus:
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itadori yuuji#megumi#yuuji#middle one FOUGHT oh my god#angle/arm position/watering can/expression NONE of it wld go right#took 2 hours to get the lines only to realize upon laying down flats that it was still Completely off#so i took a break to bake an entire cake came back n finally it started cooperating#tbh idk if im still shaking off ytd's weird funk or what but this took ages longer than it should have#but its ok bc florist/botanist/general plant nerd megu is free serotonin 2 me#i could not decide on one apron 2 give him#but then i remembered he is th type 2 take his hobby Very seriously of course he would own multiple#looks at the hydrangeas listen . listen I Know i ws bemoaning having 2 draw so many cursing their name etc etc#but u dont understand he had to be holding one he just had to. he told me so. he held a gun 2 my head and said U Know What To Do#and i said ok ok ok ok#there r only 2 i survived#and i wld do anything fr him as we well know . cuffs his jeans puts leaves in his hair <3#jjk may have given me trust issues depression anxiety etc but it Also gave me flowerboy megu and i think that balances it out :)#edit added the bonus here bc reblogs dont show up in the main tags enjoy itfs gross flirting mwah <3
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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Know what absolutely kills me about Wyll is that his mantra is “it’s okay, the only person it’s hurting is me”
He’s forced into selling his soul to save the city: “I can’t regret it, it saved people and the only person it’s hurting is me”
Letting Karlach live knowing it will violate his contract: “The only person it will hurt is me”
Putting himself in danger endlessly so at least the powers he has will go to some use before he’s dragged to hell, knowing it risks him dying young and being trapped there early: “The only person it will hurt is me.”
I know for a fact that if he were given the power to make the decision re: selling his soul again to save his father in act 3, he would do exactly that. The only person it hurts is him, and over and over he’s marked himself an acceptable casualty in any situation.
#wyll ravengard#wyll#bg3#bg3 spoilers#he has such a specific brand of self-loathing and self-destruction#that gets missed so easily bc it’s wrapped in fairy tales and said with a charming smile#it’s easier to see yourself as a heroic sacrifice than currency to spend on everyone but yourself
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