#bc art addiction remember?

[ink-the-artist]

Video game I saw in a dream. It was in this low poly style like an older video game. You play as this character I think was meant to be a lamb, or maybe a weird mix of a lamb a mouse and a rabbit, (while not really looking like any of those things) and you’re running away from a wolf. Your objective is to last as long as possible before the wolf catches and eats you.

The house you’re running in is endless and bizarrely put together like most building interiors in dreams are (like the infinite toilet dream dimension on Reddit lol) the layout of the house is pretty detailed, you can stop and hide in places like closets or bins while the wolf looks for you, you can go up and down stairs and into rooms etc.

You never actually know where the wolf is or how close it is to you until it appears in your line of sight, it makes no noise and the game gives you no way of knowing where it is, and it’s pretty unpredictable it doesnt move at a consistent pace. When the wolf catches you there’s an animation showing it eating your character

[mumblesplash]

do you ever end up accidentally getting super attached to a trope so specific and rare you don't even know how to look for it? 'space aliens failing to understand that a human showing teeth usually isn't a threat display' isn't even an ao3 tag. finding that shit in published fiction or tv shows is next to impossible

[troublcmakcrs]

you'll learn right now , i don't play nice / and if you hurt me once , 𝙄'𝙇𝙇 𝙆𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙏𝙒𝙄𝘾𝙀 ! / and i won't go first ( 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔀 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓻𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 ) / 'cause i'm the last bitch up , ＴＨＥ ＦＩＮＡＬ ＧＩＲＬ ！

finalgirl!tweek to go with @feldspar-thethief's ghostface!craig au lol

[chosolala]

geto headcanons ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

my bad for edging u guys with false promises of content 😭 please accept my apology in the form of cute and silly geto headcanons :]

he’s really sentimental (w some ppl, apparently not his parents) but secretive about it, like he probably has a box hidden deep under his bed of cards, gifts and notes given to him over the years

feeds stray animals behind peoples back

he’s in touch with his feminine side, like he has an in-depth skincare and shower routine, you will NOT catch him lacking

if you’re in a relationship with him, his go to when he messes up is leaving flowers and a note at your door

the type of guy to listen to you talk shit but never say anything mean himself

he’s probably a really good cook, mama geto does not play in the kitchen.

remembers little things people tell him

^^ because of this he gives the most meaningful gifts

doesn’t really like people touching his hair but still lets you and his girls do silly hair styles on him

probably really uncomfortable with people touching him, he and gojo probably had fights because gojo kept slapping getos butt despite geto telling him not to

the type of guy to have piercings that aren’t super noticeable right away (same with tattoos)

i feel like he’d be terrible at drawing and he thinks it’s no big deal until everyone wants to play pictionary (everyone has pictures of his art saved in their phones for blackmail purposes)

probably plays guitar in his free time

i feel like he’d like nu metal music but also oldies like marvin gaye or something

trivia goat, he knows so much about random things

also i feel like he’d love watching movies in his free time, he seems like a horror movie kinda guy

i feel like he’d have a cat that he literallt treats like his kid

play video games with gojo and gen gets so angry bc he gets his ass beat everytime without fail

i know he’d get to cheating after a certain point too, he’d probably cover gojos eyes or ‘accidentally’ unplug gojos controller

unintentionally a backseat driver

did matching stick and poke tattoos for him gojo and shoko in highschool

he may have lost every fight he’s been in but he will NOT lose and argument, when they go low, geto goes lowER

i feel like he’s unaware of his looks, like sometimes he gets free drinks and compliments but assumes people are just being nice or he’s just lucky, not that he’s actually super handsome (hello sailor ;)

pin and sticker collector, but he doesn’t do anything with them like he just has them

really good at first person shooter games (but gojo refuses to play those with him)

i feel like he’d read books catered to a female audience and he’d be kind of embarrassed about it, like what do u know about girl interrupted 🤨

his closet is like 80% band tees

takes games so seriously, like he’s very competitive especially w gojo

when he’s feeling indecisive about something he literally asks an 8ball

.5 iphone picture victim, his girls constantly sneak in .5 pics of him

always wakes up early to make a good breakfast

literally gives the warmest hugs ever, his hugs could stop a person from crying

monster drink addiction

takes most of his skin/hair care from his girls, probably online shops with them too

hates shopping in person like in malls so whenever the girls want to shop he just gives them his card and tells them to keep their phones on

carries medicine on him at all times just in case, he’s prepared

[poppy-metal]

HI POPPY u js reminded me to send it to u bc i forgot…anyway

thinking ab being tashi’s girl that she shares with art because she knows how much of a schoolgirl crush i have on him….so much so that i tense up and stumble over my words whenever he’s around <3 turning beet red when he gets just a bit too close <3 cause he’s just…so big…nd tall nd strong!!!! it’s obvious to tashi, but for art, not so much. he assumes that you’re just intimidated by him (which you are— but more turned on than anything), which leads to him making it his mission to get closer to you. to show you that there’s not anything to be scared of. which works at first, until you get bolder. and then you start asking things like, “can i feel your arm? it’s just really big.” and “how often do you work out?” art thinks you’re the cutest thing, so curious and innocent. that you’re just so small compared to him, so of course you’re gonna ask questions. it takes tashi telling him straight up, like “she wants to fuck you, art.” for him to catch on. “you should do it. it’d be easy, so easy. you could hold her down, bully your way into her tight little hole…she’s never taken anything bigger than my strap before, you could be the one to break her in.” she’d spur him on for days. and as much as art hates to admit it, it worked. neither of you quite remember the details of the build up, but what you do remember is him having you face down, absolutely wrecked. i’m talking mascara tracking down your face, hair disheveled, spit pooling around the sides of your mouth. you remember how he practically forced himself into you, how the stretch hurt so good. he was so so so mean to you, and you loved it. and it’s art, so of course it didn’t take much for him to get addicted to fucking your sweet little cunt. even at events, he’d pull you off to give you his load, stuffing u nice n full <33 literally my dream

RAHHHHHHHH

being tashi's little girlfriend and having a crush on her husband in my favorite <3333 she's so totally okay with him fucking you, but you're both on the reserved side - she has to be the puppetmaster, as always. stroking arts cock late at night, kissing his neck, telling him how tight and wet you are - how you're so submissive and eager to please and how he's so pent up, isn't he? doesn't get to batter that big cock how he's meant to inside a warm hole because that's just not their dynamic, and that's fine - but doesn't he want to? isn't he interested? in just pounding a tight cunt into the mattress. you'd let him. you'd beg for it -

he paints her knuckles in his cum and tashi holds her hand up - tells him he could be pushing this mess inside you if he wanted.

art wants.

so art takes - a few weeks later, when the boiling pot tips over and you've worn one too many mini skirts and tight blouses, with nipples poking through like little tight pebbles - alone in their big house - manufactured, by tashi - and as she suspected, it only takes a few glasses of wine before art has you bent over a couch with your panties around your ankles and his cock pushing inside - gritting his teeth. his ringed hand gripping your waist to tug you back into his thrusts.

you can't stop telling him how big he is - how good he feels - and it fills brain with static, he's never felt this kind of praise before - this kind of control. he goes a bit wild with it - snapping his hips against your pert little ass and watching his cock dissappear in and out -

"so fucking tight - so fucking good - holy shit -"

he could become addicted to this. he'll beg tashi to let him have this again and again if he has to.

[princesssmars]

a few ellie headcanons bc i like her c: sfw.

she is a backpack lesbian. always has a tiny backpack. they are always black or a dark green. will sometimes get a patterned one. maybe has bananas on it. wants to put stickers on basically all of them but won’t because she gets paranoid they’ll get ruined.

i can’t find the post and ong i don’t remember what type of snack girlie i said ellie was but yes. this bitch loves snacks. always snacking. had a four month long addiction to jello it was a little scary.

she can cook for herself! she can make a damn good burger. hates tomato’s because she’s a baby 👎🏽

feel like she likes the weirdest cereals ever…like bae why are you eating kit kat cereal

runs super cold and always has a blanket. lovesss those super thick fluffy blankets that make you wanna fall asleep immediately. begged joel for one of those full body blanket snuggie things and he kept forgetting so she bought a matching dinosaur set with jessie and she loves it.

despite running cold her bedroom fan has not turned off in thirty years.

loves trivia. likes to play are you smarter than a fifth grader because you are NOT gonna catch her fuckin lackin.

likes mixmatched socks. her dryer is always eating half of her pairs so she grows to like it.

calls things pretentious and overrated as a joke bc she is annoying. watching a popular movie? she hates it the author is trying too hard. if she has a letterboxd she is either giving the most in depth review you’ve ever seen or a five star rating with a “cool”.

super nervous at the start of relationship yo show affection but when she’s locked in she is always on you…cuddles all the time. if you’re getting up to do something she is gripping around your waist. it’s cute until you need to go to the bathroom and she is insistent on going with you. once when she was high she told you she’d get a second toilet so you could go together 🫤

playstation girl yawn. she was hyped for elden ring then got her ass beat and didn’t play for a month before randomly deciding to finish it in two weeks.

whoever said she loves spongebob first was right…binges regular show when high. loves breaking bad. will act like she doesn’t like romance shows but if you make her watch the first episode she hasssss to finish it she can’t help ittt… sorry not sorry i’m making her watch bridgerton.

secretly watches those family guy adhd tiktoks

has a habit of watching movies through tiktok

and those space tiktok’s… comparing the gravity of different planets, what’s it’s like to fall through jupiters atmosphere.

likes orcas… watches marine life documentaries and gets emotional.

would know ur birth chart. ever forget ur big three signs? she knows. kind of scary. weird talent. doesn’t believe in astronomy buts knows every basic fact about every sign?? 😭

has two instagrams. her main is for her art and to post pictures with her friends and you. second she posts anything. and i do mean anything. will go from an introspective into idk why hoodwinked is underrated to

loves green it’s literally her color. needs some green in her dorm/apartment. thinks about this ahead of time so when she’s in middle school she starts buying tiny plants to take care of. at the start they’d die in like a week but now she has a dozen and they’re all healthy <3

bunch of posters on her bedroom walls. hates bare walls.

likes to try new hobbies every so often! is lazy about working out but when she does she gets on the treadmill and doesn’t break a sweat no matter how fast. kind of scary.

likes to go on the most random dates. you’ll be sitting on the couch and she’ll show you some random restaurant she saw on like instagram and be like let’s go. right now.

likes when you touch her hair. rest her on top of you while watching a movie and run your fingers through her hair? she’s out like a light. if you want to try different styles on it at home she will let you. doesn’t care if she has stupid looking like stubs everywhere she’s like c:

jesse told her she had a fuck ass bob once and she almost hit him :c

such a bike girl omg. i know she used to put water bottles in the back to make it sound like a motorcycle.

who first came up with that she loves spongebob because you’re so right. tried to act like she’s grown out of it but when she’s high and you’re trying to go to bed she’ll whisper “twenty five” to herself and laugh for five minutes straight.

spider-man girl because she’s cool.

pretends to hate all the dumb nicknames you give her when she does stuff. she makes a pb&j? shes now 'ellie jellie' for the rest of the week. has a stomach ache? now she gets to hear 'ellie bellie' for a month.

links for palestine, sudan, drc

[notiddygothgf]

World famous rock star Choso Kamo's new live-in assistant is convinced that she can fix him -- substance abuse issues and all. Tensions ensue, and as new feelings rise to the surface, the two find it difficult to maintain an appropriate workplace relationship.

(or; the one where an unstable musician meets an assistant with a savior complex).

❝I GOT A BRAND NEW PLACE, I THINK I'VE SEEN IT TWICE ALL YEAR. I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW IT LOOKS INSIDE, SO YOU CAN PICTURE HOW MY LIFE'S BEEN. I WENT FROM STARING AT THE SAME FOUR WALLS FOR TWENTY-ONE YEARS TO SEEING THE WHOLE WORLD IN JUST 12 MONTHS, BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG, I MIGHTA JUST FOUND GOD.

WELL, PROBABLY NOT, IF I KEEP MY HABITS UP AND PROBABLY NOT, IF I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH LOVIN'...PROBABLY NOT IF WE TAKE 'EM TO MY SPOT. PROBABLY NOT, IF I TWEAK ALL DAY JUST TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, GOD DAMN, I'M HIGH. MY DOCTOR TOLD ME TO STOP, AND HE GAVE ME SOMETHING TO POP. I MIX IT UP WITH SOME ADDERALLS AND I WAIT TO GET TO THE TOP.❝

╭─ ⋅ ─ ✩ ─ ⋅ ─╮

▷ prologue

▷ the interview

▷ behind the scenes

╰─ ⋅ ─ ✩ ─ ⋅ ─╯

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : jun 6, 2024

cover art credits: @/2OARIN on twitter

streaming... Kiss Land (The Weeknd).

cw/tags: rockstar!au, loosely based off of 'the idol', keyword very loosely... bc it sucked., slow burn, mutual pining, sassy reader, not really enemies to lovers but let's just say they drive eachother crazy. toxic relationship, but it gets better, mental instability, mental breakdowns, mentions of relapse (will include tw!), implied/referenced alcohol abuse/alcoholism, recreational drug use, implied/referenced drug addiction, HE GETS BETTER I SWEARRRR, eventual smut, sexual tension, explicit sexual content, oral sex, doggy style, cowgirl position, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, questionable decisions just like all around, dark romance, reader is a little delusional (me too its ok), rough sex, rough kissing, rough angry sex, just read it it'll be a sexy and amazing time, choso my beloved you can do no wrong, except maybe in this particular fanfic, LISTEN TO KISS LAND BY THE WEEKND.

[the-fiction-witch]

Hopelessly

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating SMUT

Requested :

Yess ty fiction which, I also have an idea so idk if u watched the show yet (u probably did) but the main girl lady belle, can u make it were y/n likes Jack and he likes us but y/n gets jealous and upset bc she thinks Jack likes lady belle and not us. It’s just a thought

I scampered my feet up the stairs of the hospital, My feet ached, my legs sore, and my lungs short of breath from the fact since first light I hadn't so much as sat down for more than a few seconds. But I was fueled by the power to lift four carriages and run from Port Victoria to Brisbane. I opened the door to the surgery theatre prep room where the tools, ties and other such items were laid out for the various surgeries. 

And there He stood.

Fixing up his sleeves as he was selecting between what blades he was to use today for the amputation. His dark brown shoes were caked with dusty dry dush dirt, and his brown trousers were patterned with a slightly darker brown plaid almost unnoticeable, his shirt typically white but dark around the sleeves from the constant blood it soaked in, his dark blue waistcoat done up tightly and the green tie around his neck in a double knot, His hair freshly fluffy in its usual style leaving me to assume he likely had a bath today, or yesterday night soon enough for his hair to still be that fluffiness. 

"The Medicine Doctor Dawkins," I smiled doing my best not to turn the colour of a bright poppy flower, my heart skipped a beat seeing him, my breath hitching, every ache or concern from the day work melted into the least of my concerns each one of them worth it for the mere sight of him. 

I had worked at the hospital as long as I could remember having taken over the role from my mother, I was technically a laundry and kitchen girl by definition but my role had changed since Doctor Dawkins arrived, we found quickly we had a mindset that worked similarly so often if he needed anything I'd be the one he would summon about it, and at this point I had all but become his scullery girl as well as all my other jobs around the hospital, but I didn't mind at all. Every moment with him was worth ten times the work I put in.

I was utterly, unequivocally, Hopelessly devoted to him. 

"Ahh." He perked up looking over to me a smile growing across his lips "There you are. I was wondering where my little nursey got herself off to." He chuckled cleaning his hands off, I blushed at his use of that name, his 'little nursey'. I wasn't a nurse of course but he had called me that as long as I remember but I didn't mind, I couldn't bear to stop him as my heart would flutter whenever I heard it. 

"Fetching the medicine, as you requested" I smiled taking it over to him 

"Thank you very much." He said taking the glass bottle from my hand his fingertips gracing my own as he did, taking the bottle and staring at diluting a dose for the patient, I merely stood beside him taking in the curves and valleys of his face, noticing my theory correct he must have had a bath this morning as I could smell his usually pine and eucalyptus soap as well as his familiar aftershave that I could only describe as addicting and heavenly. He glanced at me from his work his eyes flicking to me a moment "You have somewhere to be?"

"Ohh no, not really." I lied, I had a million jobs I could be rushing off to get on with but I wanted every single second I could get in this room alone with him,  

"Good. You can keep me company then." he smiled 

"You don't mind? I'll go if I'm any trouble." 

"No, you're no trouble nursey" He smiled "Could you fetch my apron for me?"

"Of course" I nodded rushing across the prep room to fetch it for him returning within a few small seconds 

"It's not a race you know. Take your time slow down" He chuckled slipping it on and quickly tieing it the way he liked it

"I just don't want to keep you waiting," I blushed 

"You are such a sweet little thing. Why can't all the nurses be like you." He said as his patient was brought into the theatre the crowd let into the stands to watch too "I'll see you later Nursey," he smiled taking my hand in his and giving my knuckles a sweet polite kiss before he headed out to the applause of the crowd. My body was utterly frozen as he had left me my heart beating out of my chest. My god I am a sinful girl. Unable to prevent my eyes from lingering. 

I stood in the prep room almost unable to move watching through the window as he worked, he moved almost in slow motion to me his every move being carefully chiselled on my mind, the sweetest sound playing in my mind drowning out the sound of the bloodthirsty crowd. Unable to prevent my smiles and my blush, I'm sure if surgeons had fan clubs I'd be at the head of his, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help my devotion to him, praying mightily that he would one day see my unquestionable devotion and admiration, take me in his arms and make me his bride. But so far that had only been a wish, a several-year-long wish. I knew I was down badly, but I couldn't draw myself away, so much so he could tie me to the operating table and remove my arm without any painkillers, using a rusty blade and I would still thank him immensely. he could drag me by my hair though the graveyard and still I would only give him smiles, he could take my innocence and slap me across the arse and still I would be at my knees for him. Not that he would, I hope. 

"Y/n. Laundry." The head nurse Hetti snapped in my direction as she passed the door 

"Yes, Miss." I nodded quickly scampering out and down to the laundry room stopping short as I closed the door finally being alone again holding my hand tightly and pressing a kiss to my knuckle just where he had kissed hoping perhaps to get a taste of his lips. 

I finished for the day scrubbing at my body before slipping on my little nightie and climbing into my little bed, I took my book from the table and began to read the fantastical stories leaning my head against my pillow that sat vertically on my bed as if another body rested in it, so I rested my head there reading for a good hour or so before setting my book down and blowing out the candle, I turned over and wrapped my arms around the pillow resting my head as if I was hugging a body even wrapping my leg around it nuzzling my head into the soft cotton. 

"Ummmm..." I hummed "Goodnight Jack," I whispered giving my pillow a little kiss, and I closed my eyes tight my mind dreaming of his sweet voice whispering to me 'Goodnight my little nursey' before I drifted into my dreams.

When the sun came I woke early far earlier than I needed to be, but that was fairly normal. I stirred and shuffled in my sheets feeling the tension that had built between my legs from my sweet dreams, I glanced over my shoulder to my table to see my little clock knowing I had enough time for what my body so obviously wanted, I blushed hard giving my pillow a little kiss "Good morning" I cooed in a whisper rubbing my nose against the cotton, I adjusted myself a little moving my hand down to my thigh, tugging up my cotton nightie and slipping my hand under it meeting the heat between my legs I did gently stroke my skin but I knew quickly that already wasn't necessary, my fingers finding my already aching clit and rubbing little circles "Uhhh" I gasped quietly 

"Ummm good Morning my little nursey, aww whats this? you've been dreaming about me again?" he cooed between kisses down my neck "Well, I can hardly leave my little nursey like this can I?" his hands stroking over my body touching my most intimate places fondling my breasts, slapping my ass and replacing my hand with his own rough more callus fingers 

I slipped my fingers inside me using my index and ring fingers as they were longer and thus It made it more believable in my mind that they were his, "Uhhh! Jack!" I gasped as hushed as I could in the quiet morning light 

"Umm, what a good girl, say it again. tell them who you adore." He smirked mercilessly kissing me and touching me tugging on my nipple to harden it into his hand which he then plaid with 

"Uhh! Jack! please-" I gasped my other hand clutching my breast to rub and twist my nipple to match my fantasy to my pleasurable reality 

"You are so beautiful when you're like this for me. you're making me hard. My sweet little nursey going to take care of her doctor?" he encouraged "Come on, you know you want to?"

I blushed hard moving to sit up in bed and move my thighs to either side of the pillow, my hands still working hard 

"Ohhh that's perfect, You look so beautiful on top of me y/n. go on. you know I can't resist you like this." 

I moved my hand away and tightened my grip on the pillow with my thighs moving my hips back and forth grinding against my pillow riding it as if it really was him, the cotton and stuffing of the firm pillow rubbing against my clit each time I moved my hips "UUuuhh! Jack!" I gasped clamping a hand over my mouth to keep myself quiet knowing... the real Jack slept just on the other side of the wall in his own room and bed. 

"Ohh fuck- You are so beautiful. I wanna see you cum for me." He growled 

"Uhh uhhh" I whined quietly hearing my bedsprings begin to squeak as I sped up 

"Aww, what a good girl, My good little nursey. Come on let me see that body I love so much"

even if I was alone I tugged down my nightie to my waist exposing my bare breasts as I bounced and grinded  "Uhh Please jack..." I whined feeling close, playing with my breasts and nipples to give myself more pleasure and my wave hit suddenly my legs clamping on the pillow squirt flooding down my legs and onto my sheets and nightie, the wave of pleasure flooded from my head to the tips of my fingers and toes like a wave on the beach, "Uuuughhhhh!" I moaned luckily I put my hand there quickly to keep me quiet and as I reached such a high I heard a firm double knock on my bedroom wall just inches from me and I knew why. 

I blushed hard seeing the mess I had made and I fixed my nightie kissing my pillow before I climbed off, and made sure to tug my nightie down grabbing my cardigan and slipping it over my shoulders as I left my room going only a few inches down to the other door opening it without much of a concern finding myself inside his room. The room was littered with items his bed in the corner against the wall he shared with my own room, his servant man somewhere I didn't know, but Jack Laid in his bed still knotted with the sheets his head on the pillow clearly only a few moments into this world from his dreams, his hair a fluffy bedhead, his clothes littered the floor his bare skin exposed as the sheets only covered below his stomach. It was obvious he had woken up and knocked on the wall immediately as was typical most mornings. 

I blushed doing my best not to look like I was looking but, I was. trying to burn the image of him lying in his bed into my mind, I nervously adjusted my nightie just to make sure it covered me. 

"Good Morning Doctor Dawkins." I smiled as sweetly as I could 

"Morning Nursey" He yawns stretching his arm above his head 

"What can I do for you on this fine morning?"

"Can I trouble you for crumpet?" He asked 

"Of course No problem" I smiled pulling my hair into a ponytail and heading over to the small part of his room for cooking, taking what I would need from the cupboard, and starting up the stove to prepare him his breakfast "Did you sleep alright?"

"Fine, same as usual" He answered "You sleep alright?"

"Perfectly Pleasantly" I smiled as I worked 

"You alright y/n?" he asked I turned to see him and saw him giving me a strange look 

"What?" I asked 

"Nothing. Just heard your bedsprings a bit this morning."

Immediately I blushed hard but turned to focus on cooking to hide my blush "Ohh, Yes I uhh I spilt my water in my bed this morning it was a bit of a panic cleaning it up" 

"Fair enough" He nods "That's what's on your nightie then?" He asked and just the moment he said that I felt the wet patch on my nightie from... what I had done 

"Yes!" I blushed quickly turning so he couldn't see it 

"Alright. You want a hand drying your bed then?"

"No! thank you. It's alright Dr Dawkins." I blushed as I finished with his breakfast so I turned everything off and took the plate with his crumpet over to his bed he happily took it from the plate having a small bite 

"Umm perfect." He smiled before tapping on his bed so I blushed and sat down beside his knee as he ate 

"Your bed's far softer than mine" I smiled 

"I best be careful then, I might come back one night and see you've swapped out beds over" he joked "And I don't want your bed little nursey, those springs are so bad I hear every time you turn over"

"I shall try not to then."

"You don't have to do that" He chuckled as he finished his crumpet 

"If It would be better-" I began

"You'll really do anything I ask won't you?" he laughs 

"Of course" I blushed 

He gave me a funny look for a moment "Let your hair down?"

I blushed hard enough to turn my face red but I did as he asked me to letting my hair from the ponytail 

"Hold my hand?" 

My heart was racing out of my chest that after all these years something! was to happen between us! and I happily took his hand in mine, he gave it a soft squeeze and brought it to his lips to give my hand a gentlemanly kiss before setting my hand on the bed I was almost fainting from even that tiny amount of attention "Take your dress off?" 

"I- I uhhh" I stuttered but inside my mind 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YES! YES! YES!' I was nervous but I didn't want to waste time moving my hands to the straps of my nightie and tugging them down, I pushed them down to my elbows about to expose my chest when he stopped me 

"Whoa! I was kidding" He laughs sitting up to stop me 

"Ohh" I gulped now utterly red with embarrassment at the fact I was literally two seconds from flashing him! 

"You really will do anything I ask," he chuckled as he softly fixed the straps on my nightie back into place "You're such a sweet little thing" he cooed giving my cheek a kiss "Go on don't let me keep you"

"Alright if you're sure, I'll see you later."

"I'll see you later my little nursey" He smiled laying back in his bed, I smiled my mind screaming at me utterly desperate to kiss him but I forced it away getting up and going back to my own room blushing so hard I had to jump on my bed and squeal into my pillow. 

I was puzzled, I had... finished my work for the day. Often I'd be working long into the night to get my work finished as I often would be rushing off on projects Dr Dawkins would send me off on but, I hadn't seen him all day, and that ached my heart badly. So I ran up to the main part of the hospital and immediately I saw him on his rounds in the ward. 

"Ohh Good Afternoon Doctor Dawkins," I smiled playing with my fingers 

"Ahh Hello Nursey" he smiled as he did some bandage work "Everything alright?"

"I was, just curious. I haven't heard from you today. Didn't you have any jobs for me?" 

"I know. Sorry been absolutely wall to wall today," he explained 

"That's alright, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright." 

"You're sweet." He smiled taking my hand and kissing my knuckles "Everything's fine. go on little Nursey" 

"Yes doctor," I smiled squeezing his hand in the moment before it slipped from mine, I went to go trying badly to hide my blush when I perked up 

"Doctor Dawkins!" A female voice spoke up, and I knew it wasn't Hetti or one of the other nurses I turned quickly and saw that girl. I had seen her a few times in the hospital but I didn't know much about her, but immediately I became like a territorial cat. 

"Oh it's you." he said "To what honour do you bestow us with your visit today then?" 

"The conditions are utterly deplorable! Every single thing in this hospital is disgusting I insist it be cleaned."

"You insist you do?"

"I do. You Laundry girl." She snapped at me "Have every last sheet scrubbed and washed properly immediately!" she demanded 

I was a little shocked not used to having my orders barked at me much less by whomever she was. 

"Give the sheets another wash before you head to bed y/n," He told me, and for a moment I was teary that he took her side so quickly 

"Yes, doctor." I nodded heading back down to the laundry to start again. 

I scampered through the hospital as usual now with even more work than this, woman. was insisting that she had been here every day so far and each day made my heart hurt a little more as she was now spending time alone with Dr Dawkins more than once I had gone into a room and found them alone talking together and it broke my heart each time I did. He had barely called for me at all spending all his time with Belle. I hadn't seen him anywhere around the hospital looking rather concerned as to where he had gone but I stopped short as I heard her voice coming from the morgue, I stopped and lingered at the top of the stairs listening I could hear her talking about... something not sure I couldn't make it out and my body froze as I could hear him. Two talking I tried desperately to listen but I couldn't make out their words I couldn't allow my mind to wander so I headed down the stairs and arrived at the morgue and instantly I felt like bursting into tears. 

He and Belle stood over a body, the room empty other than the two and the body, a scalpel in her hand, his own on her wrist guiding her to make the incision in the skin. They saw me arrive but didn't put a space between them, 

"Yes?" she glared 

"Ohh I uhh I was just looking for you Dr Dawkins," I said sheepishly 

"Oh, I don't have any jobs for you. You can go." He said 

"I- I see. Well you know where I am if you need me" I did my best to force a smile 

"I will do," he said before the two returned to their conversation "Ahh perfect just like that. Very good Milady."

Tears flooded my eyes to hear him call her that, and Immediately without a word, I knew I had been replaced. I wasn't his nursey anymore but she was his Lady, my heart utterly shattered so much my knees went weak and my breath staggered. 

"You alright?" He asked noticing I was still here

"Yes. Sorry Doctor." I answered unable to hold back my tears as I quickly turned and ran up the stairs, I bolted through the hospital reaching the store room shutting the door leaning my back against it. 

Tears flooded down my face, my breathing staggered and desperate between silent wails of pain, unable to control my emotions as my body sunk to the floor. 

After a while I managed to stop crying I think I was so dehydrated I couldn't make any more tears, literally cried out. I left the hospital and went to the cat and bagpipes throwing away all of my money on enough drink to drown my sorrows but nothing seemed to work. So Once I was out of money I staggered back so drunk my inhibitions were utterly void, my shyness gone, and I was ripe for the wicked as anyone who wanted to, rob, murder, or take any advantage of me would find me utterly drunk off my ass unable to even walk straight. I found my way to the hospital eventually and went up to my door but I was unable to stop looking at the door next to my own tears flooding down my face In my drunken state I forced it open slamming it shut behind me to see Jack stood just getting undressed for bed his shirt in hand, his wardrobe open having stopped short given I just burst through his door. 

"Uhh Hi y/n."

"You- You.... Imbolisle!" I slurred 

"What have I done?" He asked very confused about what was happening 

"You know what you did you absolute fudgewomble!"

"Fudge womble?" He laughed 

"You! You... CUNT!"

"Are you drunk?"

 "Don't change the subject!" 

"Y/n what on earth is the matter you've been strange all week," he said taking my hand and trying to bring me closer but I pulled my hand out of his 

"No! I'm not falling for it! No! I'm not doing this anymore! You! You utter monster! you carved open my heart! and left me to bleed! You keep me hanging on your little hand kisses and tiny touches for years! and no matter what I do, how hard I try you give me just enough to keep me hanging, enough to keep me your hopelessly devoted little slave girl!! and then here comes little miss fancy skirt and I'm as worthless as the shit on your shoes!"

"WHoa- whoa- okay." He said trying to calm me down "What's this about?"

"You know what it's about you cruel man!" I cried 

"Y/n Please I swear I don't know what you're talking about, please just sit down and calm down a little" He said gently guiding me to sit on his bed "Now just answer my questions okay, without insulting me if you can" He said holding my hands as he sat in the chair across from the bed "Are you drunk?"

"Yes."

"Why did you get drunk?"

"I thought it would make me stop crying," I said tears slipping down

"Why are you crying?" he asked caressing my cheek and wiping away my tear 

"Because I'm upset!"

"Alright, your upset." He nods "Please, tell me, Hey my little nursey. I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong."

In my drunken state, I said everything I had ever wanted to say to him tears flooding down my cheeks "I loved you."

"You what?" He asked 

"I loved you. Fully. I loved you from the moment I saw you jack, my every waking moment I think of you, you are the very last thought in my mind before I go to sleep and the first when I wake up in the morning, I have built my life around you, what time you wake up, how you like your breakfast, how fast you walk, I have spent my life pining after you, worshiping you, doing everything you have ever asked of me all in the hope that one day you may give me a glance, for even that is enough to spoil me beyond measure, I spend three hours every night catching up on work because I know I can't ever say no to you, my dreams are full of you, my pillow is named for you, and I have spent the last few years of my life with you, so utterly in love that I could never stop even if you asked it of me, I live for the moments we are alone, for the seconds of time that your hand is in mine, and my heart dwells on your kisses for hours, I even find myself kissing where you have just for a hope of a taste of you, your name is carved on my heart jack, I am and always have been hopelessly devoted to you in every possible way, and if you felt even half of what I do for you, you would not be so cruel as to hold her so close to you, to call her lovelingly when I am there. Please. I beg of you. Do not let me see it, for it rips my heart in two. and if you cared for me you would give me mercy and take me from this world rather than expect me to live in it without you." I explained through my tears "I will not stand in the way of your joy, but I cannot face seeing her where I have always desired to be" 

My words had frozen him but I saw tears well up in his eyes, he held my face and gently kissed me.

I wanted to be happy but I knew this was only meery pity. 

He pulled back his nose against my own "I have desired you to be in my arms since the first night I saw you, I have made myself utterly dependent on you, in every way, for in my heart I know I cannot fashion a life without you in it, you are everything to me, without you I am nothing but a shell of a man, you are the grace that keeps me grounded, the softness that reminds me of the sweetness of the world, you are the ray of sunshine first to peak though the storm of my life, without you, I am lost to the dark. you take care of me, you keep me right, and you make this life worth living, You are so needed that I can't go a single day without seeing you for if I do my heart feels weak and heavy. I adore you, I can't face this world without you by my side, you are... utterly incomparable to all else I have ever known."

"All but her."

"No. Please believe me." he begged "She could never fill the hole you would leave in my heart." he whispered, "I love you, hopelessly" 

"Why have you never told me?"

"I couldn't believe that a sweet thing like you, could love a monster like me."

"you're not a monster Jack."

"I am. I have treated you awfully. I swear to you she means nothing to me, I have made you long for the next life. I have broken your heart. and like choosing to step on the first fresh flower of spring, it is unforgivable." 

"But I saw you together." 

"I was teaching her. I had to show her but even still I got too close. And for that I am sorry."

"I heard you call her Milady,"

"she's the goveners daughter I have to" He giggled "It was in jest. not in love." 

"Well now I'm foolish for drinking away and coming here and-"

"I am so thankful you came here tonight." He whispered "Will you ever forgive me? for what I did."

"You're already forgiven" I smiled 

"Stay with me tonight."

"I-I can't"

"Please. I can't bear for you to go."

"I will stay Jack." I nodded unable to control my smile "For how long?"

"For forever." He whispered against my lips 

"for forever" I smiled kissing him with all the passion, all the love, all the utter hopeless devotion I had had for him since the first day I met him and he did the same not letting anything be held back the taste of salt in our kisses from our tears, "I love you jack, Hopelessly"

"I love you y/n hopelessly" He smiled "Come on we need to get some sleep, god knows the hangover you'll have tomorrow morning."

"Ohh noo" I whined

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you" He reassured kissing my head "I'll fetch your nightie" he smiled heading out and soon enough returning with my nightie from my bedroom, I smiled taking it and going to the corner to change but as I removed my dress I felt his arms around me and kisses on my shoulder 

"You shouldn't look." I said 

"I can't help it- you are even more beautiful than I had dreamed you were," he whispered 

"You had dreamed of me? without my dress?"

"Many times." He smiled wickedly "Did you dream of me? without my clothes?"

"I had."

"Come on nursey. Bedtime." He cooed going to his bed 

I finished getting changed and turned to see him in bed with a space for me I blushed but rushed over about to climb in but he stopped me 

"Water. or you will have a bad hangover."

"You know from experience?"

"I do. go on." He said 

I did as he asked drinking a nice glass of water and slowly I climbed in with him laying down with a giggle 

"What?"

"I'm used to cuddling my pillow."

"Me too. funny to think we laid cuddling our pillows with just a wall between us" he chuckled wrapping his arms around me to pull me closer so our noses were an inch from each other I giggled a little and set my hands on his chest

"We were rather foolish, spending our nights dreaming of each other"

"We were. But I don't need to dream of you in my arms any longer"

"me either." I smiled giving him a soft kiss before we both drifted away, I didn't dream I didn't need to, just the feeling of being in his arms was more of a dream than anything I could have imagined.

But I woke up alone, which for a moment shattered me believing it all to be a dream, my head aching "Ughhhh ow ow ow" I whined as I turned over 

"I know I'm coming-" His voice spoke up, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jack standing cooking up some eggs and bacon half dressed no shirt but his pants with his suspenders left hanging 

"Ohh... Morning-" 

"Good morning." He smiled "You have a hangover?"

"Ummm humm" I nodded

"How bad?"

"Did you remove my brain last night?"

"No."

"Then I think it's bad."

"You were absolutely bloody plastered last night" 

"I was sad."

"I know, Am I to expect that often then?"

"No."

"Good," he smiled "Here we are my little nursey, best thing for a hangover" he smiled sitting the plate on the table by the bed and kissing my temple 

"I should get going..."

"Why?" he asks sitting on the bed with me 

"I figured you'd want me gone" I said sitting up even if it made my head feel like it was bleeding 

He smiled and gave my lips a sweet kiss "I thought you were staying here for forever?" 

“I take it there are gaps in the memory of last night?”

“I'm not completely sure where reality ends and my dreams begin”

“I can't blame you, I was stone-cold sober and I'm having a hard time separating my dreams from reality last night.” he chucked where do you think the line is?”

“I think I came here and insulted you then I dreamt the rest?”

“No, we were awake a while more than that”

“Ohh. So I did actually tell you -”

“You did.”

“And you told me-”

“I did.”

“Oh my-”

“It's hard because it felt so much like a dream” he smiled he stroked my cheek before he moved into a kiss our kiss was passionate and rather excited and I teared up to know all of it was real and that he loved me as much as I do. Our kiss got even more excitable as he began to push forcing me down in the bed but that sudden movement was enough to affect my hangover

“Owwwwww” I whined lying on the pillow

“Oh, right. Sorry” he chuckled “you're not working today, keep yourself here with me and get some rest”

“What about you? You need to work?”

“Sneed can handle it for one day” he smiled “Just till you're feeling better. I can't leave my little nursey all alone”

“Thank you, Jack”

“You're welcome” he smiled “and… you're really cute when you're jealous”

“I am?”

“Utterly adorable” he cooed “Now eat. Drink. And rest,” he says

“I will I promise”

“Good girl” he smiled moving clean against the wall and having his legs over mine I smiled moving so I could see him and he held my hand “I get why I hear your bedsprings all the time. You little one are a wiggler” he laughed “I tried to hold you close all night but you just kept wiggling away from me”

“Sorry”

“It's fine, I'll get used to you” he chuckled “Can I tell you a secret?”

“I'd like that”

“... There is a reason I'm always late, days you come do my breakfast.”

“Oh? Why?”

“I'm always late because I can't resist seeing you in your nightie.”

“Why does that make you late?’ I asked he smirked and simply glanced down to his trousers suggestively “oohhh-”

“Yeah. Especially the other day when you almost took your nightie off for me?”

“I did notice you were very late that day”

“What did you think I was doing?”

“I didn't question it.” I giggled at the thought of Jack lying in his bed taking care of himself because of me “Can I tell you a secret?’

“I'd like that”

“I didn't spill my drink that day”

“No?”

“No”

“So why was your nightie wet? And why was your bed squeaking so much?’

“The same reason you were late”

“Ooh- really?”

“Humm” I nodded

“So that morning before I knocked I sat listening to you?”

“Yes”

“Fuck-” he gasped “I thought I heard my name. Did you hear yours?”

“No, I was quick getting dressed’

“Shame. Maybe next time as well be in my bed together we can just, take care of each other” he smirked “Would you like that my little nursey?”

“I would very much”

“Good, you must move around a lot then because seriously your bed was boarder line constantly making noise”

“I was- I can't -”

“What no tell me.”

“I was riding my pillow”

“You what?’

‘you heard “

“Riding your pillow? As in pillow on the bed, you are on top?” He asked and I nodded “Imagining it was me?”

“Yes” I blushed hiding under the covers a little

“That's adorable” he smirked ‘and a coincidence”

“How?”

“After you left. I laid on my back imagining you riding me. Maybe our dreams are synchronizing” he smiled leaning down to give my lips a sweet kiss moving to look over me as we kissed till he pulled back a bit

“How did you do it?’

“Do what?’

“I was riding my pillow” I giggled innocently

“Oh, just my hand.” He shrugged “I always use my hand I don't have any things to ride on or use like that” he smirked moving a little so his knees were on either side of me “But if you show me, I'll be happy to show you too” he smirked kissing down my jaw and neck

“Uhhh! Jack!” I gasped as I felt his kisses grabbing his hair

“Uhhh- y/n!” He moaned back ripping the covers from my hands “ohh fuck-” he groans looking at me in my nightie

“Owww” I whined as his kisses made he throw back my head which hurt

“Well continue this later. When you feel better” he smiled giving my lips a kiss “That okay?”

“Okay Jack” I smiled giving him a. Kiss “I love you”

“I love you too” 

[xxvalkyriesxx]

Flying Changes - Chapter Four

A Nessian Equestrian Fic

Masterlist // Previous Part // Next Part

Read on AO3 or below!

Horses

CW: Mentions of alcohol abuse and drunk driving, mentions of family members being hurt bc of addiction. Cassian is indeed an ass in this one. So is Mor.

“Look, Nesta. You got yourself into this. You’re the one who drove drunk to the cemetery last month where you knew your sisters would be there. It’s almost as if you wanted to be caught, falling into a trap they didn’t even set.” He shook his head, looking out the nearby window.

“You’re lucky you didn’t kill someone.” Eris huffed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I know I might be asking for a lot. But I can’t stand it here, Eris.” Nesta said, crossing her arms.

“You’re asking for something that I can’t do. The judge will not lighten your sentence. In fact she may double down. Or better yet throw you in jail.”

“Maybe it would be better.” Nesta mumbled.

Eris rolled his eyes. “My hands are tied. You put yourself behind that wheel. There's no excuse for that in this world.”

Nesta remained silent, her foot tapping against the table’s leg. The probation officer leaned back in the opposing chair staring.

“Sorry chick-a-dee. You should have known better.”

Her eyes raised until she met his gaze. Glaring from her silver blues to his browns. A smirk rolled with his lips. He leaned down, closer to Nesta. “Careful, pup .”

Eris shot a glare at the officer. “Watch your tone, Bellius. That’s my client you’re speaking to.”

Bellius lifted his hands up in mock surrendering. “Sorry, Eris. Bitch got my tongue and all.”

Nesta snarled shooting up from her chair, but Eris caught her wrists before she could do anything. 

He leant down to her ear. “If you want a punishment worse than what you have now, by all means, continue.”

Feeling Bellius’ stare, Nesta yanked her wrist from Eris’ grasp.

“I’m done for today.” 

Nesta marched out of the tackroom in a silvery blaze.

**

Bits of the citrus peel came under Nesta’s nails as she finished peeling the clementine. Eating one at a time, Nesta took out her phone, shuffling a playlist to listen to. Her head bobbed to “Stone Mother” by Joise & Laurel. The folky country music played in her earbuds where cellos and violins made art with their bows. Drums in the back and piano as the melody she sang along softly to the music. The sound helped soften her thoughts from earlier with Eris and Bellius. It was something she didn’t want to think about; how she ended up here.

Looking up, Nesta watched the horses from the therapy barn graze. By now she was learning who was who despite not working with them. The two terrasen cove horses were Sundrop and Starlight.They trotted around the area, playfully annoying one another. At first glance it wasn’t easy to tell who was who, but if she looked closely, Starlight’s forelock was a brownish color compared to the rest of his mane that was whitish blond like Sundrop’s.

Grazing near the pasture fence was the nidaros draught named Betty. Cassian mentioned he wanted to call her Betty Brown Eyes but everyone vetoed the name. The horse looked up, watching Neta. She could maybe see where Cassian was coming from, however she would not ignite that man’s ego.

The sun was setting in the late August sky as Nesta’s gaze traveled from horse to horse. It was so natural looking at them, studying their markings and their behaviors that she didn’t notice that different music was playing.

Until she heard the soft violins play the instrumental version of a song about a summer’s cruelty. Her eyes widened at the sounds as she remembered it all; riding Flame in the Grand Prix freestyle in her first Olympics at sixteen. Flame performed the piaffe gorgeously, his body in elegant trot. But what stole the show and earned them the bronze medal were the smooth transitions of the flying changes in his canter strides.

Naturally Nesta’s posture changed from muscle memory. Back straightened, eyes forward, hands steady. Her attention was solely on the music so her gaze unfocused from the world around her. Colors of the sky and grass and horses blended together. Her face stayed neutral as if she was still performing.

Then the music stopped as the wire to her earbuds were yanked. Startled, Nesta scrambled to stand, meeting blonde hair and glaring brown eyes. She stood up fully, tucking her phone back in her pocket, the clementine on the ground.

“Can I help you?” Nesta asked.

“You can help the ranch. Breaktime is over.” The woman said.

 Nesta recognized the designer logos on the woman’s outfit and accessories. Who the fuck brought Barbie Karen out here?

“Excuse me, but you don’t order me around.”

“I do when my cousin owns this ranch. I do when my best friend has had to suffer from not just alcoholic parents, but a sister too.”

Guilt slid right to her heart at the mention of her family. Shifting left, Nesta stared at the woman in front of her. She looked oddly familiar, remembering her on Feyre’s instagram. Ranging from posts featuring the City of Starlight to late night stories. Her stomach twirled with slight envy whenever they appeared on her feed. She raised an eyebrow at the woman as she tried to recall her name.

Michelle? Monica?  

Nesta glared. “I don’t know why you’re being such a busybody? And in any case, I follow Cassian’s orders.”

The woman glared right back. “Cass and Az went to the tack shop a few towns over to buy more feed or whatever.” She glanced down at her manicured nails before continuing. “It doesn't matter. Cass put me in charge of you. As a reminder, you were sent here to work. Not to look at ponies all day.”

The guilt dried out as anger brewed over it, swelling in Nesta’s stomach and mind. Her hands curled into fists. As emotions rose, so did the familiar wanting waves of liquor Nesta knew she should ignore.

“Fuck off.” Nesta snapped, her tone bitter to the bite.

The woman stood unphased. “Cassian mentioned you would be stubborn as Rhys’ mule. Get back to work, Nesta.”

Nesta moved back so she was leaning against the nearby tree. “I think I’m quite content to stay right here actually. And clearly you know me, but I don’t know you. Although you seem oddly familiar.” The desire to drink grew with every word she spat.

“I remember my sister hanging out with an alt-righteous bitch. Megan was it?” She spoke without missing a beat.

“It’s Morrigan.” The blonde snarled. “And last time I checked, the alt-righteous bitch was the one who almost killed her own sister by driving drunk.”

Time swirled as Nesta was no longer standing near Morrigan on that damn ranch. No, she was behind the wheel of her car, familiar blue eyes looking at her in fear, wincing for the impact to happen. The guilt rose and overlaid her entire soul as engine smoke blew into her lungs. 

Cold deadly rage bolted Nesta from the tree, her body barely inches from Morrigan.

“You know nothing about that day.”

“I know enough.”

The rage grew sorrowful in its course through Nesta’s heart. Her desire to defend herself lay defeated in between them. Nesta silently walked past Morrigan, bumping her shoulder with the blonde’s.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Morrigan called out.

Nesta stopped, looking over her shoulder. “I can’t stand you if I’m sober.”

She walked away, every step in wrath and grief. As Nesta came near the house, spotting a bay mare trotting around uneasily. Her body language came off as scared almost. Don’t I know the feeling?

Turning her head, Nesta continued walking down the dirt driveway making it all the way to the mailbox before turning on the two way road, heading to the right. Her phone was her only companion whose battery life ran dangerously low as the sky only grew darker.

**

Nesta was unsure how long she was walking for as she made her way down the road. The urge to drink was clutching her throat, needing the taste of smooth cold vodka. Her nails scratched her left arm, trying to suppress the urges that she fed willingly for the last several years. Body aches and a pounding headache merged not long after, her symptoms starting to come back in high tide.

Fuck that bitch. Fuck Morrigan. She doesn’t know anything. None of them do! Nesta thought to herself as her mind stayed focused on all of these thoughts. Her guilt had drained entirely but only to be replaced with anger. It was like this for years, no one knowing the truth, and Nesta knew she shouldn’t be surprised, but it bothered her. It bothered her to her bones, as they carried her trauma.

A car going the opposite direction came over a hill, its headlights blinding Nesta for a moment where she walked on the narrow shoulder. Large fields were all that she could make out as she stopped walking. A slow dread curled into the pit of her stomach. Where the hell was she?

She peered up to the sky, the once oranges and pinks and purples were now the shades of blackish blues. The sky was littered with stars, however their names she never could recall. Feyre was always good at remembering the constellations, their names and where they were in the sky.

The thought of her baby sister made the pit grow bigger, anchoring her to the stop. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to think of Feyre. Reaching into her pocket, Nesta drew out her phone that’s battery was at five percent. Panic strode deep within her, hands shaking. Quickly Nesta unlocked her cracked screen, moving on autopilot as she found the last number she called that was several weeks ago. The phone dialed, her anxiety growing.

I shouldn’t have called. She’s busy. She has her life. She doesn’t need me. But I–

“Hello?” A voice Nesta recognized far too well spoke on the other line.

Nesta struggled to speak, but her anxiety pushed through with a tail flare of courage. “Ellie?”

An old nickname for her first younger sister. Growing up they called each other Nessie and Ellie, a duo that survived their mother’s laws and father’s absences. The other day she didn’t want to think of her, but now she clung to her sister’s voice in this endless sea of darkness.

“Are you drunk?” Elain accused.

Startled by the accusation, Nesta’s pitch shot high. “W-what? No. Listen it’s a long story, but I walked off the ranch and my phone is dying-” 

“What!? Where are you, Nesta? What are you even thinking? Are you asking to join our parents now?”

Hurt slammed into Nesta like the wind was knocked out of her. But she pushed it down, all the way to the rage she grew familiar with living with. The rage everyone saw.

“Fuck you, Elain. I was just trying to talk to you.”

“Well excuse me for not knowing the difference. I don’t think I’ve spoken to you sober in almost two years, Nesta.” She sighed before continuing. “And the last several times you called, all you did was apologize to me while drunk.”

“You got yourself into this mess, Nesta. Figure out how to get back on your own.”

Her words ironically mirrored Nesta's conversation with Eris. Before she could hiss or cry out, the line went dead. Nesta pulled her phone away from her ear, the black screen filling the void. Numbly, Nesta walked, her anxiety and hurt and rage clung to the ground making her steps heavy as she pushed forward.

Her eyes stung with tears as Nesta continued walking. She sniffed, hoping to bottle these feelings away. She hated crying. Hated looking weak. Hated how she could be taken advantage of with tears. As sadness brewed into a simmering rage, she suddenly stopped. Lights of a nearby store shined, an open sign flashing in the corner of the window. Then it hit her.

“I also live down the road from the House of Wind. I run the general store down the way. If you make a right out of the ranch and keep going down, you’ll find my place eventually.”

Before Nesta knew it, she was running. Her lungs heaved at the sudden exercise as Nesta pushed open the door, almost falling face first into the wooden floor. Trying to regain her breath, Nesta gazed around the shop area. There was a counter filled with crops probably from local farmers. Nearby was an entire shelf dedicated to the local honey, ranging from honey in a bottle to honeycombs. On the other side was local pet food and toys. There were a few spots that held snacks and drinks for customers.

As Nesta approached the cashier counter, news clippings of barrel races that were so old the paper was an ugly hue of a brownish yellow. There were actual photos along with magazine cut outs. Then in an old wooden frame behind the counter was a photo of a woman who looked like Emerie. Her smile was big as she stood next to a bay colored horse. The horse wore western tack as it seemed genuinely content with the woman.

“We’re about to close, so make it fast–Nesta?” A voice came out from a nearby backroom. Her new friend stood with her hair in a braid like the other day. Emerie lifted the hatched to cut through to the store area.

“What are you doing here? I thought you said that you were…what’s wrong?”

Nesta shook her head, but felt the sting of water in her eyes threatening to fall. She rubbed her eyes roughly, pushing the tears away. She took a breath, then another one. Her hand still over her eyes as she spoke.

“I..I got lost.” She sheepishly shrugged. “Didn’t want to be alone.” She mumbled the last part.

There was weight on her free hand. Pulling the hand away from her face, Nesta cast her gaze downwards. Emerie’s hand laid on top of her’s.

“These roads can get pretty scary at night if you’re not familiar.” Emerie said, before pulling her hand away, ushering Nesta to the backroom. With a little encouragement, Nesta stepped forward going. Most of the room was taken up by shelves, back-stock items. At the end of the room was a desk with a computer and a phone.

“Make yourself at home.” Emerie pointed to a chair as she walked to the desk.

Nesta sat comfortably in the cozy armchair. It was worn down by the years with scratch marks and stains, but the golden velvet stood out like a sore thumb. It was the brightest item in the room, possibly on the store level. Nesta raised an eyebrow at the chair.

Emerie grinned at her expression. “I live upstairs, but sometimes I like to read down here when the shop is closed. My dad’s family has had this shop for decades. My mom helped with this store ‘til the day she died.”

Her brows furrowed, lost in a memory. A moment passed before Emerie spoke again. “He wasn’t a good father or husband, but that chair was the one thing he allowed my mom to have.” Emerie shrugged. “Having the chair here is like having her down here too.”

Glancing down at the chair, Nesta’s fingers traced the left armrest. Her gaze returned to Emerie as her new friend stared at her own tattoo on her arm. Emerie traced the words inked into her skin.

“It was something she said to me every day, even on the day she died. ‘I love you Emerie, more than the mountains, the moon, and Mars .’” Emerie’s voice cracked slightly when she finished the quote.

“I’m sorry about your mom.” Nesta’s mother appeared in her mind. Her stare mirrored Nesta's eyes, watching with unrestrained coldness. Rubbing her arms, Nesta tried to draw warmth from the friction of her hands.

“Thank you. Also I’m sorry, I tend to leave the AC blasting down here all of the time.” Emerie apologized as she tossed a blanket from a nearby basket.

Nesta caught the thow, noticing all of the different horses scattered around. A similar one flashed from a childhood memory. Quietly, she breathed looking back up.

“Is your dad still around?”

Emerie laughed, although there was little evidence of humor. “No. He died two years ago. Had a heart attack while running the store…When I found him.” Emerie tapped her fingers against the desk, shifting. “It was like a weight had been lifted.”

Nesta moved so she sat cross-legged underneath the blanket, mindful to slip off her boots beforehand. “I felt similar when my mother died. I was already traveling to shows by then, but when my dad called me to tell the news, I felt…I felt clear, if you ever felt that before.”

Emerie nodded. “I have.”

Standing up, Emerie opened the mini fridge near her desk. She pulled out two glass bottles that resembled beer. Nesta voiced concerns, but stopped short when Emerie handed one to her, a colorful label she’s never seen before. 

Cola Cold  - originally made Smite Hill.

“Smite Hill?” Nesta puzzled, staring at the logo.

“It’s a small town south of here. They’re not friendly, as you could guess by the name, but they make all sorts of craft sodas and strangely enough neat rabbit statues.” 

Emerie took a sip. “Their cola is far by the best in the world. And it’s a twist cap, so don’t even worry about asking for a bottle opener.”

Nesta hummed, twisting the cap off.

The first sip hit her with something fizzy, sweet, tangy, and maybe even citrusy. 

A small smile appeared as she took another sip.

“See? It’s good.”

“It’s fine.”

“Liar!” Emerie grinned.

The two smiled at one another, clanking their bottles together.

After a moment, Emerie asked. “You wanna tell me how you got here?”

Nesta took a sip of the soda. “Not really, I don’t wanna talk about me right now.”

Emerie didn’t push, taking the hint. Settling into her desk chair, she reached for a book near the computer when Nesta gasped.

“Is that The Seven Lords and Me ?”

“You know Sellyn Drake?” Emerie’s eyes sparkled with a devilish delight.

“I’ve only read that one from her. What else do you recommend?”

“Oh Nesta Archeon, you have no idea of the pandora box you just opened.”

As the truck turned off, Cassian had an uneasy feeling nestled inside him. Everything was fine up until Azriel and him were on their way back from the store for horse feed and other necessities for the barns. He spotted Mor’s convertible in the lot in front of the house. Grabbing the bags from the tailgate, Cassian began walking to the therapy barn first. He winced slightly with the added weight on his shoulder.

But as he walked, Cassian didn’t see the braided golden brown hair he’s grown familiar with over the last two weeks.The newest horse over in the corral was moving uneasily. She kept trotting and cantering, changing her gaits.

Where was Nesta?

“Cass?” A feminine voice called out. 

Cassian turned to see Mor coming out of the house.

“Hi Mor. What’s up? Have you seen Nesta?”

Mor picked at her nails. “You didn’t see her on your way home?”

“On the way home?” Cassian shook his head. “What the fuck happened, Mor?”

“I asked her to finish her break and return to work. It’s what she’s here to do after all. We got into a little spat, and then…” The words trailed off as her hands struggled to empathize. 

“Then what, Morrigan?” 

It was rare for Mor’s full name to be used within the family. It was even rarer from Cassian.

Mor disappointedly shook her head, caught off guard by the use of her full name. “I don’t know…She said something like going to drink or something. Then she just walked off the ranch.”

The world froze as Cassian’s mind went over everything that Mor just said to him.

“And you…You, you didn’t stop her?”

“I didn’t think she was serious and then 15 minutes went by, and…I’m not sure where she went...”

Panic rustled in his chest. “Alright, and you saw her walk out the ranch, not anywhere else?” He shifted, handing Mor the feed. “And here, put this food in the barn. Just leave them inside the feed room. I’ll get to it later.”

Mor grunted, the heaviness catching her slightly off balance. “Where are you going?” 

“To find Nesta. Unless you want to call Feyre on how you lost her sister.”

His friend quickly turned around, heading to the barn. 

His foot tapped, thinking.

Nesta couldn’t have gone far…Downtown is about a twenty minute walk from here. It’s the closest place to buy a drink.. 

Cassian pulled out his phone, calling her. It went straight to voicemail.

“Shit.” He dialed a second time, but was left with the voicemail again. He sighed as he stayed on the line.

“Hey Sweetheart, I don’t know where you are, but you need to get your butt back over here at the ranch…I’ll see you soon.”

His hand pulled at the ponytail from the half-up half-down look. Biting his lip, Cassian raced through his options. He could call the cops, but that could make everything worse for Nesta. And after her AA meeting earlier in the week, she seemed to be doing a little better. Was this all for nothing? His other hand hovered over Rhys’ name in his contacts.

Fear brewed as Cassian recalled that he had faced this before, losing someone out in the field during a battle. But what started as a rescue assignment turned into a recovery mission. The fallen soldier was eventually found far out west of the base. The state of his body…Cassian shook his head, not wanting to relive it again.

I’m not there anymore. He took a deep breath before running up to the house. As he ran, Azriel came flying out of the door.

“Emerie just called.” Azriel said, sounding a little breathless.

“Emerie as in Rip’s daughter, Emerie?” Cassian questioned.

“The only Emerie we both know who has the ranch’s number. Nesta’s with her.”

Cassian blinked, the shocked settling in. “She knew how to get there?”

Azriel shrugged. “Maybe Emerie mentioned it at AA. But we can discuss that later.”

The brothers hopped into the truck before taking off down the road.

**

The door to the truck flew open as Cassian jumped out. Standing on the store’s porch was Nesta. Behind her stood Emerie. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” Cassian shouted. Frustration and worried mixed, but it was only anger that dripped from his words. His gaze titled down, finding two glass bottles on the ground.

Cassian’s body shook, unable to hide his wrath. “You were drinking?!” 

Nesta looked down, not saying anything. Her arms crossed over her chest.

“Nesta, get in the truck.” Azriel called out, climbing out the driver seat. His black stetson hat blended with the night sky.

Nesta didn’t look back as she got in through the passenger door side, sliding to the middle. Cassian began to sneer when Azriel approached him.

Emerie glared at Cassian. “She was with me the entire time, Valyrian. She hasn’t had one sip. You know this is a dry store.”

Azriel nodded, picking up one of the bottles. “We would’ve smelled the alcohol on her. This is pop. She isn’t drunk, Cass.” His tone was almost a warning to his brother.

Cassian wrestled trying to find the right words. His ears shaded pink in embarrassment.  “I’m sorry, Emerie.” He stood as the regret of his words sunk deep. “Thank you for looking out for her.” He spoke gently to Emerie. “I’m sorry that I yelled and accused her of drinking.”

Emerie rolled her eyes. “I don’t care that you yelled, I care that you accused my friend. And more importantly you should be apologizing to her. Not the other way around, General .” Cassian’s old nickname from high school rolled off her tongue like it was nothing.

Cassian mumbled, agreeing with Emerie before he and Azriel got back into the truck.

The truck ride home was the most silent 2 minute car drive Cassian had ever been on. Not soon enough they pulled up onto the long driveway. Cassian didn’t spot the red car in the lot anymore. Mor must have left then. Probably for the best..

The three left the truck. Nesta stormed away, heading to the house. Cassian started to follow, reaching for her hand, but Azriel stepped in front of him, blocking his path. At this angle he could see the slight differences in their height.

“Leave her alone tonight. It’s been a long day for everyone. Talk to her in the morning.”

Cassian sighed, his anxiety spiking. 

“Let’s take care of the horses for now. It’ll distract you.” Azriel moved past him, but soon turned around. 

“You may also want to take your lessons and learn from them. Whatever you said about the damn horse in the corral, apply it to Nesta. She’s not broken, but no one becomes an alcoholic for shits and giggles. You of all people should know that.”

Cassian grimaced, the toll of his emotions from the evening wearing him down like rocks under water. He felt his brother’s hand on his good shoulder.  

“Let her come to you, Cass. When she’s ready.”

“When did you become the smart one?” Cassian questioned, cocking his head to the side.

His brother let go of his shoulder, heading towards the barns.

As Azriel walked he called out. “I have two very idiotic brothers. Someone has to be the smart one out of the three of us.”

Cassian agonized replaying the moments with Nesta in his mind. The emotion was so much, the dull familiar pain in his shoulder ached. He groaned, massaging his bad shoulder. The chronic aching had returned like clockwork. 

Glancing up the meadow of stars above him, a soft voice called out from his memory. The voice felt almost like it was from a different lifetime, combing through the ridges of his childhood.

“Today was bad, Cassian. But that means tomorrow can be better.”

Cassian turned, his gaze settling onto the mare in the corral. She wasn’t pacing as much, but she refused to stand still. Her big brown eyes watched him, as if something or someone was communicating with him.

“And if the next day is bad, you don’t give in. Keep reaching for tomorrow.”

Tag List (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @chairofchaos @blueunoias @velarisdusk @c-e-d-dreamer @jsmelodies @inkedinshadows @wolfnesta @lilah-asteria @highqueenmorrigan @daughter-of-lethe

[sourveggies]

🎨🖌️ i n k 🌈📝 — Headcanons! :

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷˚꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶꒷ ˚ ꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷꒥

🧠 Diagnosis/Disorders:

Autism

ADHD

Nihilophobia (Fear of nothingness)

A weak stomache (or whatever a magical skeleton monster has- as he throws up from feeling extreme emotions & sensations)

🌈 Sexuality & Pronouns:

Aro-Ace spec. (Canon)

Pan

He / They (Canon)

✒️ Other! (detailed bc uhh I’m very cool & smart or something-):

Ink’s lack of empathy isn’t due to his soullessness or a disorder that affects his empathy level, but a lack of social understanding, Autism & is used as a subconscious coping mechanism (Some with Autism have a more difficult time understanding others. This does not necessarily mean they have a deficiency in empathy, but may have a few more hoops to leap through to understand it in certain regards)(It’s also important to note his past, immortality, job, probably witnessing numerous deaths daily & the fact he’s an Out!Code as factors on his outlook on AU’s & its inhabitants). (P.S. I just think it’d be extra fascinating!)

Ink has a secret envy for childhood (as he’s never been a child before).

Ink’s vials are like meds! (As he needs them to function, survive & regulate him & his emotions!) (I, however, do NOT view them like a drug addiction! That would imply those on meds who use them to simply function are addicted to drugs)

He has a contradictory, simultaneous inferiority/superiority complex to cope with his isolation (he still feels isolated as he’s still “outside the box” from others, more “knowing” than them, like his past in his original, unfinished AU; even if he doesn’t remember it. It still greatly affects who he is today & why he may not see others as real as himself).

He constantly paces around!

He’s a total theatre kid

He collects things he doesn’t need (plushies, shiny things, art, etc!)

His memory issues are due to his ADHD & the mental break he experienced when he tore his soul apart in the past as some can get brain damage from having a break. Also, I would imagine that tearing one’s soul would probably cause some sort of damage to someone’s being somehow.

He indulges & enjoys child-like activities whether it be for fun or to calm himself down (cartoons, plushies, etc.)

He likes the taste of burnt toast!

He’s a complete dumbass in social situations (States the obvious, can’t read the room most of the time, will crack jokes at the worst times possible, embarrass others on accident, blurt, fall on his face, break things, uncomfortable silences, talks over others, talk about things that are unrelated to the topic being discussed, etc.)

He likes clowns & mimes & doesn’t understand why anyone would be afraid of them

He has a secret “Turning Red” - like sketchbook & would die of embarrassment if anyone found or read it (Reference to the movie when Mei was under the bed)(LMFAO-)

Ink belongs to @comyet

🌈🎨🎭🗯️🖌️

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷˚꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶꒷ ˚ ꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷꒥

[blorbobutworse]

Character Interpretation: Wolverine

More info under the cut! I did this because, at least on my phone, it looks like I wrote....a lot.

I actually have two ideas for him!! Because he contains Multitudes and also I don't want him being horny for highschoolers.

First is what characteristics they share, and then what makes them separate versions.

Born : 1875 ~1900

Comic sized!!! 280 lbs and 5’3"

Amnesiac, has flashbacks/nightmares, does not remember anything up to 20 years before Joining the X-Men.

He forgets recent memories when his head has been severely damaged. The more damage, the longer the amnesia

Animalistic, almost feral communication methods, on high stress situations and when he first joined the x-men.

Secretly cuddly but refuses to admit it. (Touch starved)

Like a real wolverine: a scavenger, does have bite to back up his bark but would prefer not to use it, at least when he has some of his memories.

Loves playfighting but refuses to ask

Canon alchohol/cigar/addiction issues.

Parental towards Kitty Pryde and Jubilee

Have Something going on with Kurt (I prefer Kurt Older, though I might decide to do a teenager a la X-men Evolution eventually…but even then I want fun gay uncle Kurt not baby. personally.)

Good trio with colossus + Kurt

Has persistant guilt and was/is forced to kill people the X-men aren't willing to take out

Essentially, everything already written in my page!!!!

Wolverine #1: Teacher/Dad/Big Brother

X-Men Evolution (No attraction to Minors <3)/Wolverine (1982) Comic/ Uncanny x-men

Brave, Protective, sassy old man

Parental towards all the kids, gentle with them and even reads them stories sometimes,it's a running joke with the toddlers that He Can't Read (he does it to make them feel smart and learn)

More into talking/fighting about his feelings/crying

Leans on Charles/Kurt to hold him back because he doesn't want to put that responsibility on Scott, because although he's team leader he's still A Child

Often argues with Xavier about having Child Soldiers, consistent point of conflict

Wolverine #2: Dilf Whore

Was NOT a teacher to the original X-men Xaviour raised: Storm, Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Iceman, just joined up with the X men when they were already adults, sort of similar to X-Men 1 (movie) or the original X-men comic run.

Slut <3

I rotate him between Jean, Cyclopes, Kurt, and a lovely enemies with Benefits with Sabretooth(NOT SIBLINGS IN ANY OF MY UNIVERSES!!!), but he’s essentially free use within the team :)

Oh! And hes in like a FWB thing with Gamit and Rougue <33333

More Touch Starved

Emotional Issues !!

Basically a horny hot mess trying to deal with his issues in the worst way possible. Just the PE and art teacher bc if he was given anymore responsibility he would Traumatize the Children.

Different fanfics will just have like. A little note telling you because, again,I don’t enjoy Logan flirting with underage girls while also being a girl dad, that feels….gross.

Batman' analysis will hopefully be out sometime tommorow my friends 💕

[amethystfairy1]

Hi Amethyst! It's been a hot minute since I sent an ask in, but I have been reading both fics every day (still obsessed lmao) (also I name changed btw, used to be ElenaLoo)

Anyways, I had written a whole ask waxing eloquent on all the wonderful things going on in ttsbc, but I accidentally shut off my computer partway through and frankly I can't be bothered to write it all out again lmao. Just. It's beautiful (wow isnt that so meaningful and deep? im sure you're feeling very complimented rn)

The REAL thing I wanted to talk about was Traveling thieves (which is by far my favorite fanfic of ALL TIME), and all the amazingness in ttsbc made me forget it even existed for the past few weeks. But the other day I was just like "oh yeah. Traveling thieves." and then i reread the whole thing. whoopsies.

Ummm anywyas there's so many thoughts in my head about all the little guys, but recently I've been on an Imp and Skizz obsession (just scroll on my page for .2 seconds and you'll see) and YOU. You left them on a CLIFFHANGER. >:((( (not actually mad btw). I just. so excited for them. They're out alone in the woods right now and Skizz is going to have the perfect opportunity to kill Impulse and get away and I just am falling apart thinking about them. (I drew them to cope lol, posted on my blog but also later here so that I can talk about it more). I can see this playing out a few ways. Obviously Skizz isn't actually going to kill Impulse, so he's either going to 1) make up some excuse as to why he can't do it right then, but still plans to do it eventually, or 2) he does it. but he doesn't. Skizz attacks Impulse when he's not expecting it, there's a scuffle, and Skizz comes out on top---BUT THEN HE CAN"T FINISH IT!!! and it's a whole thing where even tho skizz tried to kill him, imp is still so understanding and skizz cries and impulse just freaking gives him a hug and

sigh

Whatever you do will be beautiful, I'm sure. I think you mentioned you're switching to tt after this fic, so crossing my fingers it's imp and skizz. (Though, would also be very happy with Martyn and Ren :P) (or anything really i just love tt)

Anyways, I had the art on my blog but I'm also putting it here so i can say things about it to you

Mostly I'm just very proud of their expressions, with Impulse being all concerned glancing over at Skizz, meanwhile Skizz is completely deadpan staring forwards, also looking very tired bc he needs a break from this universe. Also I switched up my Impulse design a lil bit from last time (if u even remember that lol it was months ago now). you would think, just looking at them, that Impulse took way longer to design, but nope, I was messing around with Skizz for at least double the time, trying to figure out how to have him facing forward whilst still showing some of the scars on his back. I gave up eventually xD (all that means is that im gonna have to draw him again later, from different angles)

actually that made me remember a question I had: are you planning to ship Imp and Skizz? Ik you said Zed and Tango are going to be a thing far in the future, but... skizzpulse? plzzzz plz pretty please haha im not obsessed

aaaaaand that reminds me of another question, is skizz going to be in ttsbc? (pretty please also same question as tt, if he was in ttsbc, are him and impulse together? Im addicted to them all i care about these days is some good imp and skizz shipfics, and you're such a fantastic writer, both with plot and the vibes of the words themselves. u could write such good imp and skizz. just imagine the possibilites! (am i selling it?))

aaaaaanyways. im gonna go reread the old tt skizz fics because theyre delicious and painful, like eating knives. u have a good day :))

HIIIIIII

I ADORE THIS ART SO MUCH! I gave you all my rambles on the reblog but it's SOOOOO COOL!

I'm sad the waxing eloquent about TTSBC is gone 😭 but that's ok!

I'm so glad you're enjoying TT and all the drama going on in there! Imp and Skizz are definitely having a time and a half with all of this nonsense going on...I love all your theories! I won't confirm or deny anything of course, but I'm so happy you're excited for them!

I will not be shipping Imp and Skizz, sorry! I just personally don't ship them, so they're gonna remain platonic...I mean, in TT who knows what the hell they're doing to be fair 😆 but yeah, Zedango is going to be a thing in the distant future, but no Skizzpulse! Sorry!

Skizz is not in TTSBC at the moment, that doesn't mean he never will be! Just haven't found a spot for him yet...and no, he also would not be with Impulse, I'm so sorry I just don't ship them personally! I think it's a very cute ship tho!

Enjoy rereading the TT Skizz fics!!! Thank you again for the gorgeous art!!!! I love it!!! 💖

[riverofjazzsims]

Azul Amor for @aniraklova Yasmines Desire BC

Azul Amor 34 Straight Traits: Art Lover, Materialistic, Self Absorbed and Hot headed, Ambitious

Azul "Oz" Amor is the 2nd oldest son of (redacted) rumored to be the head member of the Lovers Boy Cartel (LBC)They are known to specialize in creating aphrodisiac scents that are all the craze during Love day. Of course that's the business that can be discussed in polite company. Its the underbelly of the franchise, that in the streets of places like San My, Copper Dale and Del Sol valley that goes by Lush. Lush is HIGHLY addictive and has so many DAZED and with insatiable wicked Whim. Lush is what took the life of Oz mom when he was just 15, he and his father haven't spoken in years and its the seedy side of his families world that pushed him so far off the path that he and his siblings were originally groomed for.

Oz is a detective in the narcotics division in Del Sol valley and spends 80+ hrs a week tracking and taking down business just like his own family. Typically Oz shy's away from long term relationships, first because of his background and family, Also because he really is most days married to his job and the thought of a relationship and the danger that may bring to the woman, well lets just say flirtations and one night stands are about all he has been willing to entertain. That was until recently when he reconnected with one of his siblings and they were beautifully in love and reminded him so much of what his parents had before life went dark, Oz cant stop thinking now about what a life with a partner that could match him, be a compliment to each other and spend each day learning a new way to love themselves regardless of the past, would be like. Hearing that there was a BC being held in Del Sol Valley he had to look into and the sight of the contest looking for love. Buffs were shooting off all over the place. He cant remember the last time the mere image of a woman called to him to be both a predator and protector and he cant turn away until he know what may come of it.

PRIVATE DOWNLOAD IF CHOSEN

[placeinthisworld]

ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

[papirouge]

Yes! I wish more people brought this up! modern day conservative influencers aren’t talented musicians and artists and they are envious of those who are. They have talent agents and all that! Every single one started out normal.

They wanted to be special with mediocre skills but can’t make it. I can understand because my skills aren’t the best but I just keep practicing. They COULD have gone the indie route too, post their music online and keep working at it but I think they are obsessed with money and influence. That’s why grifting for conservatives online is easy cheap money.

....and that's also why there's a significant (Hollywood) celebrity who fell from grace → rightoid grifter pipeline. Have you seen Zachari Levi (Shazam actor) and Amber Rose latest stunt? Funny how conservatives didn't cockblocked them arguing that celebrity support was some silly tactic they left to Democrats. They welcomed them in their podcasts, rally, etc.

I always said conservatives were envious of the chokehold liberals had on the entertainment industry. But the thing is, you can't pretend defending traditional values/conservatism while aiming for a upheaval of the entertainment world. They are called LIBERAL arts for a reason. Conservatism is turned toward the past & self preservation, while arts are about exploring and disturbing the status quo. There will never be a relevant conservative influencial culture. That's why conservatives ALWAYS have to resort to rehash liberal slogan or viral moments.

You are absolutely right about them being too addicted to fame & attention to bow down gracefully and retire from an industry that did them "wrong". For Zachari Levi it's obvious like the nose on the face he's MAD AS HELL that Shazam 2 flopped and thought he was gonna be the next Chris Evans lol so he turned towards the rightoid grift bc after DC fans cancelled him for being an 'anti vaxxer' he knew his 15 minutes were ending and fully leaned towards the rightoid grift to grasp the last straw of relevancy he had. Rightoid are not really demanding: as long as you shit on the government they will hail you as sooo disruptive and non pc 🤩 Amber Rose? Well, it eventually dawned on her that she wasn't Black and she got shunned by the communitah after she assaulted that Black women on some trashy TV shows. She also felt the tide turning and that being a 'slut' wasn't as lucrative as 10 years ago so she's now rebuking her past and endorsing conservative. I wouldn't be surprised she becomes a full on tradwife in the next few years.

Both of them are perfect nutshell of celebrities clinging to the last shred of relevancy left wherever it is bc they felt betrayed by liberals/progressives.

I also think Candace Owens is secretly jealous of female influencer because that's what she wanted to be back when she was an anti racist activist. Same for Brett Cooper. I once sleuthed on their respective pages and analysed their thumbnail/video title, and to the surprise of nobody, most of the time, they were clowning women, and when they featured men, they either were 'neutral' or not as hard as for women (or were LGBT men = easier target)...they definitely know their audience.

Btw I'm genuinely curious about Celestial prophecy of Candace Owens being trans(?)/not what she appears to be LOL that shit would be hilarious. I remember her catfight debate with Blaire White. Those lolcow fighting was hilarious kek

[dragon-fuccer]

Hi!!! If u're reading this u're probably the author of this absolutely amazing fic ✨

And if u're not, go read it;!! It's so good u won't regret it<33

First some fanart jumpscare !!! (I hope u're ok w it bc I haven't asked for permission 😭)

It's just how I imagine Jack to look with a few smaller headcannons based on the fic, and there will be more fic related doodles soon, so prepare for that >;D (ofc as long as u're ok with it!!)

Second, the thing I lured ya here with, aka mine n my bfs ocs, art and description for ya to use in the fic if u want to ^^

TYSM for this offer, both me and my bf feel hella honored and it actually gave us a ton of motivation to actually expand on these two!

Tws : body horror, brief description of violence n death, mentioned suicide and brief description of murder

Smokey belongs to my bf and Something is mine !

Normal text is all written by me and green text was written by him ^^

Art and design by my dearly beloved:

Smokey

Real name : Victor Wilson

Age : around 26 yo

possible victor lore

used to be victor by marble hornets standards known as smokey

a dropout uni student with raging nicotine addiction (smokey did not retain any uni info but vic used to be psych student (projecting much lol))

prolly watched marble hornets with friends for fun and against better judgement decided to give a visit to rosswood park thinking its a film project in the beginning

turns out its not and they spotted the lanky guy

smokey the horror movie enthusiast wants out at that point before shize goes down but its late and they r deep in the forest so comes to conclusion they r all p much dead at this point

peeps want to go hunt for the lanky man cus cool and internet views

my guy is like f that yall r following basic horror lore of everyone dies im not playin like that and straight up says hes not going and hed rather go and sleep in the burned down psych ward

he gets called a wimp but decides if hes gonna die hes not dying an idiot and decides to vidtape everything on his mid tier phone camera

not sure what happens to the rest but they do their meet cute w slendy and prolly with time like half of em ends up in the arko e way or another

smokey manages most of the night fine but like luck would have it still end up meeting the guy

does not go well

wakes up in the burned down hospital not remembering the last unknown time and broken phone beyond repair

decides oho this is bad lets go back to uni and never talk abt it

meets with most friends back at uni but like 2 of em r missing and they just pretend nothing happened, friend group dissolves

after that he starts slowly having memory gaps, waking up in other places

all comes to head when it turns out he missed 5 months of uni after he wakes up back in rosswood really far from home and skinnier than ever and suddenly no more uni student

after that victor surfaces less and less till hes just kinda gone at that point

Smokey first shows up the night victor goes with friends to rosewood

in the beginning surfaces confused unsure who they are and what is their purpose

with time smokey goes through both phone and computer of vics

binges whole marble hornets in one sitting and decides he has a personal vendetta against the operator

since then they work on somehow stoping it (and terribly fails given the lack of information) leading to continuous trips back to rosewood and sleepovers in the rubble of the ex psych ward

figuring out the nicotine addiction takes a bit of time and leads to pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms as well as a very wrecked dorm room (he does find the cigarettes tho and is smart enough to connect the dots (smart cookie, here have a star sticker))

smokey learns asl and isolates themself a lot in the months of operator research

he still maintains two personas to some extends which is one the masked smokey who uses mostly asl and rarely speaks (to some extent also a tactic against being caught by police) and times when he goes without mask on library searches and grocery shoppings

smokey starts a yt channel dedicated to catching the operator and ending it which attracts at best some people commenting on obvious marble hornets ripoff and few cents into his wallet

with passing time they do start finding victims in order to keep themselves alive n appease the the big slinky leading to series of alleged suicides then turned to series of murders

he starts off with two of his ex friends who go back to rosewood and start showing symptoms he learned from mh

When they commit murder they hide in the trunk of the car and basically hotbox the whole thing due to smoking making the victim whoozy and confused, moving on they connect a pipe (like garden hose or whatevs) to the exhaustion pipe and suffocate their victims with the car smoke

the thing that tips off the police is the nicotine in the system of every victim and an account of almost to be one that got stalked by smokey who upon being discovered (also while smoking and which earned him the name) decided to bolt

since then he continues on just about the same, aka researching the operator, finding new victims and surviving untill they meet Something

His hoodie is dark green, the mask is greyish from the grime n dirt, the big cross on it is black so are his pants and hair

Something

Real name : Rae Dyer

Age : 23 before transformation, currently unknown

Something used to be a cryptid fan. They worked at a radio station and had a small night show where they played old rock and often rambled about the latest creature they heard about. While out, looking for a new creature to maybe see, they stumbled upon the Slenderman and became obsessed to document it somehow, quickly spiraling out of control and slowly, bit by bit became a creature themselves.

Something doesn't remember much from it's past life. It used to just wander, guided by the static in it's head towards it's victims, always terrified itself but not knowing why. After Smokey found it, they started wandering together. At first they had serious communication issues - Something only able to speak in tap code and Smokey mainly using ASL - but with time they learned to speak with each other, and now they can understand the other almost without words.

Something doesn't really eat, it survives on fear and between itself and Smokey, it always has more than enough of it. It does steal food for Smokey tho, cigarettes as well, usually leaving them in whatever ruined building he decided to stay in for the night. Something got also addicted to nicotine by just being around Smokey so much, leading to separation anxiety fueled by withdrawal when they're apart.

Something cannot speak, and can only communicate using tap code. When it's particularly worried or scared it does emit a small noise, that sounds like a particularly breathy whine, and more commonly when it tries to speak, quiet spider like ticking can be heard coming from it's mouths.

It usually walks hunched over, used to having to duck under branches, entryways, etc bc of it's height.

Something has pale skin reminiscent of porcelain, and is usually wearing a v neck sweater with a white undershirt and jeans or other pants. It's hair is very thin and scarce, floating around it's head down to it's lower back

Also a tiny doodle bonus of how I imagine these two showing up on Jacks doorstep xjbxbcbcb

We think the most probable case of them showing up would be Smokey getting bonked on a mission (probably by a car or a would be victim) and Something bringing them over to Jacks cabin to get pached up, tho feel free to do something else ya might think fits =w=

Again, thank you so much for the offer, we're both so honored to have the opportunity to show these two off and maybe if you're so inclined getting them a chapter in ur amazing fic<3

If u have any questions you need answered Abt the two don't hesitate to ask them as well! ^^

-Kai n Bean