#bc apparently we were both just being polite

[brightsunsmeanshello]

Recently realized that my friend and I have the same favorite Star Wars quote but from very different contexts

The absolute devastation thinking we’ve been quoting the same thing only to just now realize 😫

[sunnysideaeggs]

uuuuh okay thoughts about S2E1 (disclaimer: SPOILERS! and some unpopular opinions bc i WILL be criticizing alicent). most of these i had during my watch yesterday, and now i’m elaborating on them after more thinking about it. looooong post ahead

okay i liked the new intro. i will miss the blood pouring but i think the tapestries are a more visual way to convey targaryen history.

my favorite parts were the shot of vhagar and balerion in the field of fire(? idk they were eating men (green dragon black dragon !!!), the jaehaerys and alysanne portrait, alicent and rhaenyra and aegon and rhaenyra crowned side by side. beautiful.

also, the blood beneath the thread !!! targaryen history is written in blood. never forget this.

i dont particularly like jace being at the wall. it makes little sense to me, especially because the north is massive and i don’t think that cregan would like to make a procession to the wall just because a prince is there. i liked the tidbits though: jon going to the watch is a tradition he followed unknowingly :)

show me more political jace please, he’s cool.

‘surely torrhen would’ve rather died instead of bending the knee unless he believed aegon could bring unity to the 7K’ jace pls 💀

it’s funny that in one scene rhaenys and daemon had more tension and chemistry than all the scenes of daemon with adult rhaenyra. maybe what he needs is a GILF to put him in his place? lmao

LAENA MENTION LETS GOOOOO

‘make it a son for a son’ referring to aemond? alicent has no bone to pick here be fr i can smell bleach for the whitewashing a mile away

i also have issue with the writers’ choice of making rhaenyra ignore her physical needs and spend apparently days riding on dragon back and doing jumps and that when she just had a miscarriage. it’s canon that she was in bed rest for half a year because the loss of visenya took a toll on her body. it will be dumb and criticized if she’s fine to disappear for weeks but not to fight.

alyn velaryon? ok i’m mad bc corlys literally knows this dude is his son ???

i love how we all pretend that corlys and rhaenys were particularly interested in the strong boys. idk i can’t really care about that anymore

ow is helaena sewing alicent a dress? please tell me it’s not a shroud

AEGON APPEARED WOOO 🍳✨

‘where’s jaehaerys? where are his lessons?’ my man doesn’t know to what school his kids go lol

also he can recognize the twins apart with only seeing them :)✨ cute

aegon wanted jaehaerys in his council !!!! he’s making sure jae KNOWS he’s his heir and he’s on aegon’s mind

oh hel is comfortable enough with him to tell him about her prophecies, i’m just afraid that no one understand her

‘the rats’ NOOOOO

aegon is always like ‘😐❔’ around her lol

‘the queen is an enduring mystery’ he’s a poet i love him

alicole pussyeating but at what cost

why does criston has that empty look in his eyes, he had the same look in his scene with rhaenyra

where is all the raw emotion between them from last season? it’s giving cersei and lancel when it should be cersei and jaime. no deep gazes, no catholic guilt, something’s amiss

jaehaerys and egg </3 my feels they’re so cute

okay i have a bone to pick here because why is tyland being treated like a joke? i can get past jaehaerys toying with him because he’s a child, but aegon respected his allies (that’s a big part about him) and would never antagonize them in that way. it’s given rhaenyra and lady redwyne when we know both characters differ the most in the way they treat their subjects.

also, this is TYLAND LANNISTER, the most employed guy ever. he literally put his skin on the fire for his team, he’s loyal and he’s the best ally the greens could’ve asked for. if anyone is to thank for the death of the dragons, it’s him. put some respect on his name because this is the finance bro to end all finance bros.

also he’s always saying important things: the treasure in the green council, jason’s moves here. please listen to him!

another thing i dislike is the way important political moves are being brushed off. the treasure is a big big matter. it should be said explicitly what the council is doing about it being the focus of the scene. i’m sure most casual viewers didn’t catch that the comedic relief is making big money moves that will backfire later.

but anyways jaehaerys is so cute hehe

happy father’s day to aegon targaryen and aegon targaryen only

okay i’m rewatching the jaehaerys and tyland scene and i love tyland’s accent, and how polite he is to the little prince

go aemond in the council !!!

‘you do not have a seat in this council’ okay alicent please stfu. i disliked her demeanor since she was chastising aegon and tyland but this is too much. remember you do not have a seat either.

and no she doesn’t: she’s queen mother, not queen regent. aegon is an able adult and can rule without her help. i know the only council we had was with cersei but that’s because joffrey and tommen were under westeros’ age of majority. that alicent is there is out of aegon’s kindness and the council members’ respect.

also why would she be mad that the brothers are brothering ??? girl you wanted them to be on each other’s side

SUNFYRE MENTION LETS GOOOO

‘we must proceed cautiously’ i think all caution must be thrown overboard here. i know they want to portray A/R as the ‘voices of reason’ being pushed to war and all but sometimes violence is necessary to prevent more violence. what tywin said about murdering a dozen people in a dinner and a thousand in battle.

i’m tired of this aemond slander. he did it, but he’s innocent your grace

why larys kinda…

ok i love his voice

oh so now every move of alicent is seen by larys. she knows that he knows. neat.

why do the handmaidens wear green? they should wear gold ☀️

okay i initially thought syrax was sunfyre because of the pink of his wings. i hope sunfyre is golden smh

it’s neat that we remember than no matter what side we’re on, for the common people dragons are a source of fear and caution. the fishermen are loyal to rhaenyra yet they will run away from her when she’s on syrax because they don’t trust a dragon.

rhaenyra’s pain is so deep, i really empathized with her. absolutely devastating. her expression, her grabbing the cape, everything

emma is so fucking talented for real, making me feel for the death of a character i dislike

(oh how the mourning of a woman for her child will cause thousands of mothers mourning their children the same)

‘aegon the magnanimous’ when your homie gives you a ridiculous nickname

my boy sits and listens to his subjects, calls them by their names and tells them not to be afraid. hello jerard what can i do 4 u? :)

i love how egg is like ‘yea whatever take ur sheep jerard pls like me’

okay i dislike otto here. aegon is obviously into crowd pleasing (a secret tool that will be useful later) and for once it’s okay. jerard will go home with his sheep and be a diehard aegon supporter and raise his kids to be the same, tell his friends about the king’s generosity. i think otto should know better than to angry the population in time of war, even if you can’t make the flock whole, give the man grain or coin so he can feed his family and the effort of going to the king’s house.

hugh? like hugh hammer? ooooh

‘our victory depends on the efforts of the smallfolk’ close enough welcome back princess diana

another otto slander moment here. i don’t think it’s wise to chastise the king (an adult, mind you) and putting himself in between of aegon and the court like that. did we saw otto with viserys? he sat by his side and whispered his advice in a discreet manner. he didn’t try and strongarmed his king in front of dozens of people. that’s not a smart way of doing things. it’s called soft power for a reason

also, i think the directors were trying to make otto parallel tywin in that joffrey in the throne scene, but tywin was explicitly trying to get joffrey to be more involved in the council and the two were alone. give it to aegon, let him have his fun in public and manipulate him in private, that is the way. doing dumb shit like that only makes aegon look like a kid and otto like a shameless powergrabbing dude

one thing i appreciate is that aegon has his own court. he has his lads-in-waiting, he has a few ladies following behind, and that’s how a king should be. we always saw the royal kids isolated (joff, tommen, rhaenyra only had alicent) when in reality most important people will have a flock of people accompanying them every day.

now that’s what i’m talking about. larys is all about being subtle, honey trapping his way to power. that’s how the game of thrones is played. while aegon will not agree with him just like that (because larys gives him the oogies), i’m sure he will remember larys’ words.

‘as viserys wished’ oh don’t speak of him fuck what he wants

an ally would not sit there and cut her legs at the table of men? girl you do that yourself

alicent, the problem is not otto undermining you, is both of you yapping about shit aegon and aemond not care about and winning empty victories lol

aegon will probably forget about jerard next episode, but will not forget feeling his wings being cut by otto. aemond remained in the council room but will remember alicent wanting him gone.

i wish alicent and otto believed more on their kids/grandkids

mysaria apparition yay

‘you speak of highborn games, i am common born’ tell him girl

daemon don’t put your hands on women challenge: impossible

chemistry with mysaria? uuuuh

i love how everyone reminds erryk of arryk like ‘ayo where ur bro at?’ a matching set is not matching, it’s giving the parent trap

‘i want aemond targaryen’ okay at least she knows who to blame. i want to see more of vengeful rhaenyra, let women be mad

daemon going for aemond instead of for jaehaerys is such a cheap move smh, whitewashing at its finest

jaecarys and rhaenyra :(

is it too insensitive to say that jace’s hair looks great? you’re serving cunt? your brother just died and you’re serving cunt?

ow alerie florent :((((

FUCK VISERYS TARGARYEN

i really like the symbolic funeral. that shot of rhaena crying over the fire? chills

is it me or they changed joffrey’s actor? idk

uuuuh alicent idk if that’s empathy or weakness 🙃

once again i don’t think it’s neat that they show blood being a normal goldcloak. he was discharged dishonorably for femicide. be honest

cheese’s actor kinda looks like joaquin phoenix

‘i want aemond targaryen’ i hate this fucking show.

ROSBY AND STOKEWORTH MENTION LETS GOOO

criston agreeing with aemond in private but backing alicent in public is the medieval version of ‘yea kid ur right but i don’t wanna fight with your mom’

criston looks so tired :(

‘her grace speaks with two tongues’ SAY YOUR TRUTH AEMOND

it is vain to try and blame aemond for starting the war when the war was brewing since before he was born. rhaenyra wouldn’t give up her claim, daemon wouldn’t accept it. if rhaenyra ascended, the targtowers die. there’s not another version of this story

‘she holds love for our enemy, that makes her a fool’ that makes her a traitor. especially after the events of tonight. do we think rhaenyra has a designated green supporter that tries to get her to the green’s side? why would the greens have a rhaenyra cheerleader then?

gods forbid something happens and otto is not there 🙄 control freak

i like how they’re making aemond more rage-filled. careful ewan your book!aemond is showing

‘aegon the strong’ ‘my nephews have already taken that one’ but egg 💀💀💀

i really love how aegon has his court. he’s protected by the throne’s swords AND his homies got his back

the true king can sit however he likes. he lounges on the swords and they’re as soft as pillows to him. pretenders can’t relate.

in a deeper level, it shows how he’s comfortable both in the throne and surrounded by people. he has high trust. kinghood is a tool he doesn’t have any training on but he holds it like a natural

aegon truly trusts aemond. i love that for them. if they make aemond to be treacherous i’ll cry

AEGON THE DRAGONCOCK 🐲 rip leon estermont you would’ve loved shitposting

also why the ratcatchers are just walking around the keep? are they in the tunnels or in plain sight?

the kick to the doggie :( i really hope they didn’t really kick a dog for that

unrelated but i really need the rats around the red keep to mean something like larys skinchanging into them. they can’t be a red herring or just blood and cheese. they have too many shots

again, why are they out and about? isn’t it weird to see dudes in the middle of the night?

helaena’s maid looks like emma stone and she has really good eyebrows. i’m pretty sure she knows something (larys agent ofc)

how do we go from searching for aemond to threatening helaena? whyyyyyyy

oh right we had to blame the smallfolk for being soooo greedy and wicked and stupid that you tell them kill a great warrior and they kill a baby. because daemon can’t ever order a baby killed amiright?

the little beds noooooo :( baby jaehaerys

okay i was expecting more of helaena. in the books she’s described as pleading, begging, crying and so on. phia is killing it with the eye expressions but she looks stiff in comparison with only her necklace. even trying to bargain more (my husband can give you everything and more), some more tears, some stuttering would fit show!helaena’s too. that’s on the directors tho

i also dislike the choice that anyone can just barge in the room, literally they had to make the castle desert instead of blood and cheese waiting for hel in alicent’s rooms. i know someone is going to make the point of ‘why didn’t helaena scream or run?’ and yes partly. guess we had to slander alicent in another way right?

but alas, i am thankful that a prediction of the scene didn’t came true: no children being forcefully stripped. that would’ve sent me over the edge. they implied it but no child actors were harmed in this episode

omg the sounds of the head cutting and jaehaerys’ muffled sounds i wanna cry

helaena is so lost and the castle is a maze and nobody’s there and she’s lost lost lost and running with jaehaera i can’t

did she saw a vision there? when she stopped and went to alicent’s room

imagine going to comfort for your mom and she’s at it

‘return to your post lord commander’ why didn’t you criston? 🙃

also it didn’t pass me by that aegon has THREE kingsguards in addition to his four homies and his own sword. helaena had none. even if he was off duty and he’s sworn to alicent and not helaena, the lord commander is not commanding

THREE maids at the start of the episode doing absolutely nothing and none here? i’m so mad

‘they killed the boy’ :(((((

also why is helaena so disconnected? like why is she ‘able’ or is she in shock? i hope if they don’t make her go insane with pain like in the book she gets a revenge arc where she goes on dreamfyre, she deserves it.

i hope aegon kills them all.

[ganondoodle]

(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for blocking someone I didn’t want to be friends with?

(🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛 👈 emoji string so I can notice this post later)

So back in secondary school, about 8 years ago, I (17m at the time, 26x now) met someone I will refer to as L (17f at the time). We met in the Learning Support department bc we were both autistic. We weren’t fast friends or anything, but she had literally no other friends and I was the only person who would pay any attention to her at all. She was chronically lonely and awkward and was overall in a way worse spot than I was mental health wise. I didn’t really want to be her friend because we had nothing in common, but while I was at school I was ok with her hanging out with me and my actual friends.

We messaged each other a little bit on Facebook and it was usually pretty awkward non-starter conversation. Like I said, we had nothing in common but I was the only one who ever paid attention to her. Apparently her parents made her move schools every year or so, meaning that she’d basically never had a real friend. So even though I was just being polite, she took that as a friendship.

Near the end of the year, she followed me home a few times. Each time I noticed her I politely told her “hey, this isn’t ok, please don’t follow me” and she went home without learning where I lived. Obviously this made me think that this acquaintance wasn’t going in a good direction, so after school was over I decided to cut off all contact with her.

My sibling said this was an asshole move at the time because L just needed a friend, but I argued that I wasn’t equipped or obligated to be that friend. I don’t think a friendship based entirely on pity is a good idea as surely eventually either I would grow to resent her or she would realise the relationship wasn’t a real friendship.

This was all a few years ago as I said, but the other day she sent me a friend request on Facebook. Without really thinking, I blocked her. Then I got a stab of guilt in my stomach as I remembered what my sibling said and I wondered: AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[bonefall]

now these are bones opinions and ive only seen like 3 episodes of naruto before i got bored but i gotta say: it IS weird that the show puts SO much emphasis on naruto coming from nothing and then makes his dad like, the ninja-president cause it feels like naruto is only impoverished bc the narrative needs to LOOK like it's important that he's in poverty

Smarter, more Naruto-centric blogs have discussed this odd retcon than I, but Nonny... let me just give you a sampler of how weird the retcon was.

(ALL of this is a retcon btw. We learn nearly everything about Naruto's lineage in one fell swoop.)

We find out that Naruto is actually the son of Kushina Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze.

Kushina Uzumaki is one of the last known members of a super powerful bloodline who was renowed for being special vessels of "Tailed Beasts."

Not only are Uzumakis powerful and renowed, Kushina being a survivor of the collapse of a nation, but any other Vessel who lets lose a tailed beast out of their body typically dies. (Unless you're gaara, then ur protected by being a main character)

She was known as the newest vessel of the Nine-Tailed Fox, which is basically like Konoha's very important nuclear warhead. Having a nuclear warhead is a major political consideration for ALL nations as a deterrant against invasion.

Minato, meanwhile, was the Hokage. President Dictator of Konoha.

These Are Both Well Known People. These Are Political Figureheads.

And also Kushina and Sasuke's mother were personal friends. Sasuke's mom was aware her friend was pregnant.

But when a Vessel gives birth is apparently becomes a moment of weakness during which the Tailed Beast can pop out. They take precautions, but You Can't Thwart Stage One

Nine-Tailed Fox kills a bunch of people in its rampage and Minato seals the beastie into a baby before dying (this part is not a retcon this is established from like the 1st chapter)

But it turns out that actually Minato and Kushina did it together and put the beastie into THEIR OWN baby.

But this makes NO sense in hindsight... like, at all.

His last name is Uzumaki and NO ONE KNEW?

He NEVER LEARNED what an Uzumaki is?

He looks JUST like Minato, too, spitting image. And no one knows.

THE PREVIOUS DICTATOR PRESIDENT

In spite of it being KNOWN that Minato was married to the previous Nuclear Warhead Holder.

This one shows up with a Nuclear Warhead of his own and no one puts two and two together

Sasuke's Mom also never approaches the very obvious child of her friend. Only person in the whole village with her last name. Born around the same time that her pregnant friend vanished.

Making Tailed Beasts into Nuclear Warheads was also a mistake because why the hell is no one trying to kidnap this unwanted WEAPON if having and using them is a major political consideration???

But no we gotta make Naruto the specialist boy to have ever been born and he's so amazing and perfect and always destined for greatness because of his birth. Who cares how little sense it actually makes.

It's like Kishimoto wanted to have his cake and eat it too; have Naruto both come from poverty and humble beginnings, but also have been the chosen one all along who was always going to become the big damn hero. Frustrating.

[star-writr]

hi, sorry to bother you, I wanted to ask you if you could do 10th Doctor x reader, 4 times Reader kissed the doctor and once he kissed her instead

Hello!!!!! I am alive!!!!!! Finally!!!!! School has been crazy and I'm still in the middle of my oral exams but I really really missed writing. Luckily I had already started to write this a while ago and now I got to complete it. Also, I was really inspired by @bones233 bc they have a similar oneshot on their blog (which I absolutely recommend 10/10 their stuff is great I read it all the time) so if you want to you can check it out. Again, I'm very sorry for being inactive for so long. Enjoy!!

CW: slight mention of alcohol

Four.

“This is it. Paris, 1979”, announced the Doctor as the TARDIS’s engines went quiet. “I usually take people into the future, first, but since you asked so politely…”

You smiled, already feeling a bit light-headed. “So it’s a real time machine?”

“Yup”, confirmed the Doctor.

“And we’re in Paris?”

“Yup.”

“In 1979?”

“Unless we landed a couple decades too soon, then yes.”

The two of you stepped outside. The landscape had changed from the one surrounding you before getting inside the box. It was unbelievable to you. “Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”, you laughed, hugging the Doctor tight. He chuckled back, enjoying your cheerful reaction. “You’re the best!”, you said, then went off, excited. The Doctor followed you with an amused smile on his face.

Your first ever adventure with the Doctor turned out to be one of the best things that had ever happened to you. There were some ghostly-looking aliens involved, a wrinkled french writer, his granddaughter, Lina, and a lot of running around to save the world. At the end of it all, the night had fallen upon the most romantic city in the world, leaving the lights on for the inhabitants to enjoy its nightlife. You and the Doctor found yourselves bidding goodbye to Lina and his grandfather quite late and, by the time the Eiffel Tower shone brighter than anything else, you were still sat down at a table just outside a cocktail bar, with a glass of red wine in your hand. The Doctor’s eyes glimmered like stars in your direction.

“So,” he said, “how was it?”

You smiled. “Healthy, I think. I’ll never have to go jogging again after today.”

The Doctor chuckled, bringing his own glass to his lips. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Liked it?” you jokingly frowned. “Doctor, this has basically been the best day of my life.”

“Ah, just you wait,” he said with a smirk. “This is just the beginning.”

Grinning, you got up from the table, and the Doctor followed you, leaving both your empty glasses and the bill on the table. Making your way back to the TARDIS wasn’t easy, and as soon as you stepped inside you bid the Doctor goodnight. Alcohol wasn’t really your thing, apparently.

“Do you need anything? Some water? Something to eat?” he asked, but you shook your head.

“I’m fine, I just need a nap. Then I’ll be up and about in no time,” you assured him. You planted a quick kiss on his left cheek before even realizing, mumbled “g’night”, and stumbled to your room.

The Doctor’s hand stayed on his cheek as he silently watched you walk away. He felt… flustered.

Three.

As the raindrops made their way inside the prison cell and the careless wind wiffed through the bars, freezing the air within, you rested on the floor, chin on your knees, knees between your arms, waiting. The Doctor would have come in to save you any minute now.

The year 5907 on the planet Axorothrus had looked promising, viewed from the safety of the TARDIS and through the words of the Doctor, seemingly more invested than usual. Apparently the planet was stuck in the Middle Ages, quite resembling the human ones; even from inside a cell, you couldn’t help but agree. Much like the Middle Ages, the inhabitants of Axorothrus also feared every form of unknown technology or scientific discovery considered out of the ordinary, labeling these mysteries under their word for “witchcraft”, which, naturally, they weren’t too fond of. And who else but the Doctor could inspire that kind of fearful awe, with his shining magic wand, his honey-dripping words of wisdom that came from so far away, his promises to keep everyone safe, and his tales, brought up so often you’d think he kept them tucked inside the pockets of his jacket, flowing after his footsteps like a flag? With his companion out of the way, he could’ve been lured to the castle and executed, and his stories of bravery wouldn’t have struck anyone’s heart strings ever again. “Long live Axorothrus! Long live the King!”, echoed from outside.

Your faith in the Doctor faltered. Surely he wouldn’t have left you there, on your own, but he had to escape in the first place. What if he had failed? Was nobody coming to save you?

To distract yourself from the crushing silence which filled the prison, making you feel even more trapped, you started counting the seconds, or at least attempting to. You reached 600 seconds, then 1000, then 1300. No-one came. As you closed your eyes and fell asleep, the ticking of the rain lulled you.

You were woken up by the clattering of chains, various thuds and clangs, and the thick wooden door of the cell opening. “Come on, get out!” yelled the Doctor. You quickly got up and took his hand. He hugged you tight for a brief moment, then took a good look at you, looking for any possible injuries.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Now that you’re here, yes,” you smiled, still worried. “What made you take so long?”

A giant knight entered the hallway, his steps shaking the floorboards. “That”, said the Doctor, “that made me take so long. Come on!” As usual, you started to run, the Doctor’s hand in yours. You miraculously managed to get to the TARDIS without ever stopping to catch your breath.

It showed. With the wooden doors closed behind you, the Doctor put his weight on them, panting, and you sunk on the white-leather seat next to the console, huffing. Your lungs seemed ready to explode.

“And this is why Time Lords have two hearts,” the Doctor sighed, making his way over to the controls. “It makes us very good runners.”

“Stop bragging,” you laughed, out of breath. He sat next to you, an arm over your shoulders.

“Are you alright?” he asked. He seemed serious all of a sudden.

You kissed his cheek, hugging him. “Don’t worry.”

He put his hand over your head, sighing. He was worried, he couldn’t help it. How could he not be?

Two.

“Doctor, don’t leave me here.”

His eyes opened, and he jerked up on the bed, covered in sweat, your voice still echoing inside his mind.

He did not know when or how they had started to haunt him like this, but his nightmares now involved you. And although the Doctor had woken up like that a billion times before, the now present thought of you not being safe was enough to make him shiver.

He got up, frustratingly tossing his bedsheets aside. He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing, then made his way over to your room. He listened, figuring out you were asleep, and quietly opened your door just enough for him to look inside. And there you were, your eyes closed, most of your body under the covers.

The ray of light coming from the hallway settled on your eyes, which fluttered open just to see the Doctor standing there. He seemed troubled.

“Are you alright?” you asked each other at the same time. It brought a smile on both of your faces. “Come here,” you told the Doctor. He made his way over to the side of the bed and sat next to you.

“Sorry”, he said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

You smiled. “It’s fine. What’s up?”

The Doctor shook his head. He didn’t know. He didn’t know ‘what was up’ with him. “I’m sorry”, he repeated.

You furrowed your brow, placing your hand on his back. “Hey, it’s okay. Cm’ere.” You placed a kiss on his forehead and he sunk into your arms, swallowing a cry. He stayed that way for a long time, your fingers slowly sliding up and down his back while your voice lulled him. He was tired of losing you again and again, even if it wasn’t real.

Laying on the matress between the undone blankets the Doctor gave in to sleep – a peaceful one, this time. You followed his lead, placing your chin over his head and closing your eyes.

One.

“There. 20th Dicember.” The TARDIS engines went quiet, and the Doctor smiled at you. “Just in time for the holidays.”

“Are you really not going to come?” you asked. You'd been wanting to go home for a while now, but you were still reluctant. You didn't want to leave the Doctor alone.

He reassured you. “I'm alright. Plus, I've got my own visits to make.”

“What are you, Santa Claus?” you giggled.

“Don't tell anyone” he laughed, inching closer to you. “By the way, you look great.”

You pulled on the ends of your scarf. “I look the same as ever.”

“Yes, you do.“ The Doctor towered over you with a smile. You looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. He held the universe in his.

Without even thinking, you quickly pecked his cheek, flustered, then turned your back and walked away. “Okay love you bye!” You hurried outside and closed the doors of the TARDIS behind you. A stressed sigh escaped your lips.

Zero.

The holidays went by in a whiff, and the new year was a couple minutes away. The house was packed with relatives and friends, and you had gone outside for some fresh air. Pairing beer and vodka hadn't been the best idea, and it was starting to show.

Someone tapped on your shoulder, making you turn. And there he was, the Doctor, in his suit and messy hair, looking right at you with a bouquet in his hands.

“Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year”, you replied, smiling. “What's with the flowers?”

“I'm pretty sure it's customary... somewhere. Isn't it the day when you kiss everyone?”

You laughed. “Yes, it is.”

“And when you give flowers and chocolates to your... loved ones. It is, isn't it? What's so funny?”

“Have you confused Valentine's with New Year's?” you chuckled.

The Doctor was flushed. “...I think so, yeah.”

Fireworks began to paint the sky red and green and purple and gold. Ignoring the laughter and screams coming from inside, you looked into the Doctor's eyes and smiled.

“Is this the moment we kiss, then?” he asked. You nodded.

In less than a second, your lips crashed together in a warm embrace. It felt liberating for the both of you.

You separated after a long time, still enveloped in each other's arms.

“I love you”, the Doctor whispered, breathlessly.

You grinned, pulling him in for another kiss.

[anisespice]

“ so what? ” || tokyo rev. pt. 3

                            “ boy, I know you miss me, so what? ”

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] 

synopsis: he wanted to be a two-timer; you got his ass back, times two. 

pairing: college!mitsuya x gn!reader

word count: 1,742 

warnings: mature language, cheating, a little ooc(?) bc ik this stylish single father would NEVER.

notes: this one was the longest compared to the other two whew. it seems that mitzy had my creative juices flowing, as he should. unfortunately, had to make him a scrub lol 

Manipulate, Mansplain, MITSUYA.

You weren’t sure what made you want to surprise him at the art building. Maybe it’s because it was on the way when you left the library, or the fact that you hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks due to finals. Hell, it might’ve been both. But one thing was for certain, when you trotted down the long hallway and made a hard left, your boyfriend wasn’t the only one in for a surprise.

Coming to a halt at the studio entrance you instantly saw him and went to call his name, but noticed he wasn’t alone. Students normally used the space after class hours, with permission from the professor, to spend a little extra time on their individual pieces—Mitsuya being one of them. Sometimes, he’d even be the only one left. Well, imagine your confusion when you see your darling boyfriend conversing with the one person he supposedly couldn’t stand being around, without getting the urge to sew his ears shut. His phrasing, not yours.

Now, that’s not to say he couldn’t be cordial, no matter whatever creative differences there may be. Your boyfriend was always polite and according to him, this person wasn’t. Yet, as you watched them from afar one can’t help but notice they seemed to be getting along just fine for people who apparently never do. Again, his words.

So what’s changed?, you wondered. It had only been two weeks.

“Would’ya mind handing me that fabric over there?” Mitsuya pointed, the person responding with a grin.

“You got it.”

You disappeared around the corner before either of them spotted you. A little perplexed, you didn’t know if you should leave and act like you were never there, or stick around. It’s not like they’re doing anything wrong. Perhaps, you were just overthinking things. Everyone’s allowed to change their opinions about a person they might’ve misjudged, plus it’s been a minute since you’ve talked…maybe in that time Mitsuya developed a friendly relationship with his rival.

Yeah, that sounds right.

“So, uh…Have you thought about what we discussed the other night?”

A question mark formed at the top of your head; the other night? They’d been hanging out together? You stretched your ear to get a better listen, but stayed behind the corner in fear of being seen. Mitsuya heavily sighed.

“Yeah. I have thought about it...”

Silence filled the air, aside from the occasional murmur from the other students still around. You wracked your brain to understand the context behind the sudden change in the atmosphere, picking up on the tension even from behind a wall. You heard the person sigh as well, “But?”

“…It’s complicated.” Mitsuya said.

They scoffed, “Complicated? Really? You can’t keep avoiding this forever, they’re gonna find out eventually-”

“Will you keep your voice down?” he hissed. Your eyes widened a fraction, he sounded so worked up. You tried to keep from jumping to any conclusions, there had to be an explanation for this. You don’t even know if it’s you they’re talking about.

Yeah, that sounds right.

“Relax, it’s not like they’re here. What’s the matter, afraid [_____]’s already on to you or something?” The person said, Mitsuya no doubt shaking his head in response.

Well. So much for the benefit of the doubt. Your palms began to sweat as you gnawed on your lower lip. You didn’t want to assume the worst, but…he wasn't exactly making it easy—Especially not with the next few things he revealed.

“They’re not. I made sure of it.”

“Oh, right, because you told them you couldn’t stand me and how I made you wanna ‘sew your ears shut’. Mhm, yeah, exactly how much longer d’you think they’ll buy that, huh?”

“They’ve been buying it for the whole semester. What’s a little longer gonna hurt?” He chuckled, sardonically.

You couldn’t believe your ears, thoughts moving a million miles an hour, your entire perception had been completely knocked off its axis; they don’t hate each other. More importantly, they never did.

“Takashi. I don’t want to keep sharing you with someone else. It was fun sneaking around for a while, but I want us to be the real deal. Either you tell [_____] the truth…or I will.”

This wasn’t happening. This cannot be happening. Nearly half a year spent with someone who was never fully yours, and the entire time it was with the very person he told you he despised…you could just vomit. How in the fresh hell did you end up entangled in this whole ‘enemies-to-lovers’ schtick? The fact that it went on for this long was bad enough, nothing could’ve possibly made this worse.

“Oh, hi [_____]. Here to see Mitsuya?”

You felt your heart plummet to your ass. Nearly jumping out of your skin, your gaze met one of the student’s as they left the classroom—Yuzuha, you think her name was. From around the corner, you heard the sound of literal pins hit the floor. It was uncomfortably quiet, aside from the various other students who had no idea of the storm brewing just outside the door; what you’d give to be blissfully unaware like them. At least you would’ve felt a lot better compared to now.

Yuzuha raised a brow, concerned. She placed a hand on your shoulder. “You okay? Y’look like you’re gonna explode…”

Before you could even fathom a response, Mitsuya came out of the classroom himself. He tried to mask his panic, but you could see it written all over his face. Your soon-to-be-ex gulped, expression straining into faux delight as he slipped into his role of the doting boyfriend. Clearly he wasn’t sure how much you had heard, playing it safe just in case he was still in the clear.

Bastard. You wanted to rip his head clean off.

“Babe! What a surprise, uh, what are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you were dropping by.” His voice trembled ever so slightly, you almost missed it. It was impressive how dedicated he was to the charade, you’d applaud him if you weren’t so busy planning his funeral in your head.

And unfortunately for him, Yuzuha brought the coffin.

“Since when does your s/o need a reason to see you?” she asked, Mitsuya instantly sweat-dropped.

“No, that’s-!…That’s not what I meant. We’ve both just been swamped with finals, and I don’t like them traveling alone on this side of campus when it’s late, that’s all. Usually they’d let me know so I’d meet them halfway…” He scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his. Come to think of it, he even did it whenever he talked about…

Oh.

In that moment of realization, all you could do was laugh. So much so, that you had to use the wall behind you to keep you standing. The duo surrounding you watched in puzzlement, slightly put off by your sudden switch. Then, to add insult to injury, the person your boyfriend ‘hated’ came around the corner, curiosity getting the best of them.

“What’s going on?” They feigned innocence.

That sent you into full blown hysterics as you slid down the wall, your tears mirroring the action as they fell down your face until you eventually hit the ground; you began to sob. Everyone else in the classroom finally grew silent themselves, all trailing out and peeking their heads around the corner to watch the drama unfold.

“[_____]? [_]-[____]!” Mitusya called out to you in alarm, swiftly crouching down to your level. It wasn’t long before he noticed your tears, thinking you were having a nervous breakdown over stress, or something. Had it crossed it mind that he was the cause? You couldn’t tell. And frankly, you didn’t care.

Even after you confronted him later, and he still tried to convince you that you had it all wrong, you just couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your boyfriend had been cheating on you with someone you never would’ve suspected because he made it so that you were none the wiser, and everything about your relationship had been a lie. What else was there to say?

That was a year ago.

The next time you crossed paths, he’d been hanging with his friends. Used to be your friends as well, but you’ve found yourself running with a different crowd nowadays. He noticed you first, and you noticed his side piece was nowhere in sight. The yearning behind his stare paired with a smile full of regret told you a story—One that clearly didn’t have a happy ending. A small part of you pitied the designer, but the rest of you pointed and laughed. He tried to have his cake and eat it, too; not your fault he dropped the whole damn thing.

When Mitsuya waved, to his surprise you waved back...until he realized too late that you weren’t waving at him. His friends suddenly grew mute, immediately putting him on edge. It didn’t dawn on him until the approaching shadows in his peripheral swaggered passed him as to why that was.

“Mitsuya.” Ran greeted, oily grin thrown over his shoulder as he barely acknowledged the fashion major. The other one wasn’t too far behind, sporting a bored expression until he grinned as well, mockingly. Mitsuya scowled, his friends also expressing their distaste with threats and jeers thrown at the brothers’ backs.

Rindou merely scoffed, shaking his head. “What a fucking joke.”

Mitsuya watched in horror as you smiled at those scumbags. He couldn’t believe his eyes, how could you involve yourself with the likes of them? The designer abruptly stood—He had to say something, anything to get you out of their sights.

But when they each wrapped an arm around you, Ran on your left and Rindou on your right, he choked on his words. No. No.

You knew about the everlasting feud between his gang and the Haitanis, one might call it poetic justice that you rebounded with not one, but both of them. As you threw Mitsuya a smug grin, and watched him fail to pretend he was disinterested as you’re whisked away by two people he had genuine hatred for, you could only think of one thing.

He pretended for a whole semester. What’s a little longer gonna hurt?

© 2022-2023 anisespice ッ all rights reserved. likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!

[captain-cargoshorts]

I just got done with my first day of work and it went... Well. It certainly was something.

So I had a 4 hour shift today training on registers. It's scary bc they're the old style with a tiny screen so you can't see what you're doing until the end and if you do something wrong it yells at you. I have a trainer with me pretty much the entire time though so I'm doing okay. She says I'm picking it up pretty quick and doing a great job (validation!) and I've figured out how to keep conversation going with customers so they follow the pin pad prompts and everything.

The first three hours go great. My trainer seems pretty tired tho and between customers she talks about how she's burnt out and wishes she could leave retail bc it's a lot. I share about my previous jobs and we both agree that retail is hard and customers are awful. Then about half an hour before we close a Chinese family (I promise it's relevant) comes in and start looking around. They have a toddler with them that immediately goes to the toys by the register and pulls out all the cars to play with on the floor. Irritating, but not a problem until he starts climbing on the fixture. I try to get the mother's attention without leaving the register unattended bc I'm not supposed to and she ignores me until I'm pretty much yelling "MA'AM YOUR BABY" over and over. Finally she turns around and gets him down, but she shoots me a dirty look as she does so. She then goes back to talking to her mother (I think) in mandarin. Guys, I don't speak mandarin. I didn't know what they're saying, and I don't really care? Until I notice my trainer looking Extremely Nonchalant (tm). You know the look. Turns out, she understands mandarin and the ladies are major gossips. I don't ask for a translation bc there's still other customers and it's my job to ring them up and talk about the rewards program. But they've been standing in the kitchen area for like thirty minutes.

It's now time to close. They ignored the warnings 15 and then 5 minutes out and haven't moved. My trainer meanwhile has started getting extremely antsy. Not only are we supposed to be starting on closing tasks, but the ladies have noticed her looking over and are now talking about her. "That girl with the yardstick keeps looking at us" etc. Apparently. Again, I don't speak mandarin. She sends me away to do a sweep of the store for stuff that's out of place, etc, so I don't know what happens for a bit but my trainer stays up at the front to check out the ladies and let them out whenever they finally decide to leave because the door is locked to prevent other people coming in. She doesn't approach them to ask them to hurry up though. Like, she's ADAMANT that she won't. I, being extremely new, don't know what to do. They don't leave.

Eventually our manager comes down from the cash office and asks them if they're going to buy anything, because we're very much closed for business. It is now 20 minutes after closing, and they've been here almost an hour. They grab one (1) spoon and check out with the manager, which is a massive waste of everyone's time because they don't seem to even want the spoon? But finally they leave and we can take out the trash and do the bathrooms and stuff.

To the surprise of literally nobody, we get out late. Apparently we usually get out at like 7:45. It's 8:15. We're going to have to explain that to the store manager tomorrow. I walk the other non-manager employee to her car bc it's polite, but I noticed that the manager bad the trainer stayed back to talk so i check back in with them. The moment I get within earshot they stop talking and are like "what's up? You were leaving?" I said yeah but you stopped and we usually make sure everyone gets to their cars. I just want to check that everything's okay. They say they're fine and I get the feeling that whatever is going on is Absolutely Not My Business so I start walking back to my apartment.

There's a dead raccoon on the sidewalk on the way home.

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

SEASON 5 ENDING SPOILERS

ok yknow what - more thoughts about the ending of S5 and why I was so thrown by it

Cat Noir wasn't there!!! CAT NOIR WASN'T IN THE GRAND FINALE DEFEAT OF HAWK MOTH?? HOW IS THIS REAL??

That's one thing.

The other thing is how ambiguous Gabriel's feelings toward Adrien actually ARE. does he hate him? see him as someone to be controlled? as a power play? what's up with the pancakes and the 'call me dad' then??? is it just for show/a ruse/a trick/a trap that'll get revealed?

I could see a real change of heart happening when he realized he was dying. if he didn't also continue browbeating Adrien about being with Kagami and not Marinette.

he didn't HAVE a rich-person superiority complex UNTIL season 5, either, so that came out of nowhere.

his attitude towards Adrien doesn't seem to have changed at all WHAT DO THE PANCAKES MEAN THEN?? Even Nathalie is surprised by this! it is never explained!

Then Ladybug comes in with "Nathalie is dying, you're dying, how much sacrifices are you willing to make?? Adrien has moved on, but you're about to DESTROY him! Nathalie is dying! You're dying! Giving his mother back won't help anything!"

and this works?? for some reason?? looking back I suppose the pancakes DID mean he cared for Adrien?????? and the Kagami thing was the one and only thing he put his foot down about?

IDK this needed to be foreshadowed a LOT better. we needed to really see him, telling Emilie or Nathalie "wow... I've been treating Adrien so poorly lately... I should be a better dad... this is really important to me. like even to the point of like. half the reason I'm bringing Emilie back at all is for him!" And guess what? He DID tell this (or most of it) to Adrien! And I didn't believe him! Why? BC HE'S LIED TO ADRIEN BEFORE. He's also manipulated Adrien's friends (and anyone, really!) just to get an akuma victim. (don't tell me this wasn't what was happening WAY BACK IN THE BUBBLER.)

honestly I've NEVER been sure whether Gabriel's concern for Adrien is real. it seemed real in Santa Claws. It seemed very much less real in The Collector. It seemed less and less real with every alternate reality where Adrien/Cat Noir was akumatized because Gabriel found out his identity.

APPARENTLY IT WAS REAL THO? just twisted?

like - the one time Gabriel saw Adrien, just Adrien, and DIDN'T akumatize him! and the time Adrien was in danger and Gabriel gave different instructions to an akumatized villain! the moment Gabriel realizes he's Cat Noir he becomes fair game??

Anyways this. all helps us with not knowing until the last moment what Gabriel is gonna do when he has both Miraculouses to make a wish. but it's NOT WORTH THE AUDIENCE CONFUSION!

and then we have a timeskip to 'happily ever after' basically and the main focus is the environment!?!? and the political system?!?! SINCE WHEN WAS MYLENE THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS SHOW?? SINCE WHEN WAS MS BUSTIER THE MAIN CHARACTER?? got me really questioning also bc all this good stuff is too good to be true??? what's the catch?? is Hawk Moth ruler over all Paris or smth?? the whole show is legit about balance, does that only mean balance when it comes to Miraculouses? what's the downside to all this utopian stuff??

we see ?Emilie? I thought?!?! existing? (but apparently it was Amelie??) and that's about ALL the closure we get for ANYTHING

WHAT EVEN HAPPENED THEN? WHAT WAS THE WISH? I thought Gabriel wished for Emilie to be brought back! and the sacrifice was (plot twist!) HIMSELF since he was dying anyway??? BUT NO APPARENTLY THAT WAS AMELIE SO WHAT DID HE EVEN DO? Did he sacrifice himself so NATHALIE could live (I don't remember if she's around but she might've been) for Adrien, and Gabriel could be reunited with Emilie in death??

I COULDN'T EVEN TELL IF MARINETTE AND ADRIEN WERE STILL THE HOLDERS OF THEIR MIRACULOUSES??? WAS THAT WISHED AWAY?? ARE THEY NOT NEEDED ANYMORE BC IT'S HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER PARISIAN UTOPIA NOW?? GABRIEL TALKED ABOUT MAKING MULTIPLE WISHES WHAT DID HE EVEN DO???

and! lastly! and most importantly! WHY DOESN'T ADRIEN KNOW ANYTHING? WHY DOESN'T CAT NOIR KNOW ANYTHING? WHY WASN'T ADRIEN/CAT NOIR THERE FOR THE ACTUAL LEGIT FINALE OF THE SHOW?!?!?!?!

instead we get unified Plagg and Tikki FOR LADYBUG??

IS THIS NOT A TEAM EFFORT?

HAS IT NOT BEEN LADYBUG AND CAT NOIR AGAINST THE WORLD FROM SEASON 1, EPISODE 1? WAS IT NOT INTENTIONAL IN S5 WHEN THE MIRACULOUSES WERE LOST AND IT WENT BACK TO BEING A PARTNERSHIP INSTEAD OF A TEAM???

HOW IS ADRIEN/CAT NOIR NOT THERE FOR THE FINALE!?!?

just. for real guys

legit

endings need to be decisive. NOT vague and ambiguous. not this way.

TL;DR Adrien/Cat Noir needed to be there, and we needed much more clarity on Gabriel/Hawk Moth's motives/intentions. also the ending/epilogue needed. uh. much better prioritization lol.

[stoopid-turtle]

BTS in Order Addendum 2

Second and final addendum for rn! This covers the translated bts clips for June that I found. Sadly, the playlist did not have July or Aug, so I can't go over those. If I ever do find July and Aug, I'll try to add it on.

As before, the timeline posts are already updated. I'm just highlighting some things here for those who don't want to hunt for the updates. Also, I tried to clean up some of the formatting but y'all, the formatting on Tumblr is just weird. I can't figure it out and I'm not gonna invest the time to do so, so I've done my best!

I can see where the WZC/GG pairing came from. GG and WZC seem quite close, often playful, and similarly physically affectionate to ggdd. Their dynamic is different, but I can def see how people could pull together a compilation of their bts clips for CPFs. (Not saying they were a real couple, like ggdd.)

Madam Jin did not seem to realize she was cast in a bl adaption.

There's much mentioned of dd's afterglow on 6.19 after the Dragon Boat Festival date, but I've never seen anyone mention that GG is also in a really great mood the next day. His first scene is in the forest with JC and JL, and he's all smiles and says, "I'm so happy this early morning. I really love my team."

JC says "Happy? What nonsense!" For some reason, this sets gg off on the giggles.

Needless to say, GG had his own afterglow.

Also on 6.19, there's this cute exchange between gg and the older lady producer (?), who is also from Chongqing:

Crewmember: So many beauties come from Chongqing. GG: I'm beautiful. Producer lady: More beautiful than me? GG: How can that be? Can't compare!

And then, a couple days later on 6.23, when dd is still gone, gg is in a hellishly rotten mood. He's visibly moody and unresponsive to xl and JC, both of whom try to cheer him up. At one point, he asks someone (his assistant?) if he has any crying scenes that day. And later he says, "Remember this feeling. After a month, when filming, definitely will..." I think he says something more to XL here, but I guess it was too quiet for the translator to hear. The implication to me is that he's gonna try to bring up the experience of his feelings in later scenes when WWX is having similar feelings.

Not everything with regards to the boys has to be about ggdd, so it's possible that gg's bad mood is bc of something else going on in his life. Family, friends, something with his company, politics, a stranger being a jerk, whatever. DD's one possibility among many. I did check out what dd was doing on 6.23 and 6.22, and he's on Produce 101, where he looks as DD (with a mullet) as ever. But there aren't any bts or unscripted clips of him where he might reveal a similar mood, so it's hard to say anything.

So basically, make of gg's bad mood what you will. It could be literally anything.

I need to talk about JC's fake butt

So the clip on 6.25, with JZX, Mianmian, dd, XL, and gg all chatting starts with them talking about JC wearing a "fake butt". I'm guessing butt padding? Some highlights:

DD is confused because he's "not even wearing jeans", to which gg asks if it makes sense to wear a fake butt in jeans.

The "reason" why JC wears this is apparently only known to XL and GG. XL refuses to explain.

GG says if she doesn't explain, dd will just walk up to JC and ask him, "JC, you wear a fake butt?"

Poor WZC did seem a bit put-upon on the set.

Also, unrelated, dd thinks sweat is sexy.

Also, the nasal spray that got passed around: looked sus, but not actually that sus. It's a Thai herbal nasal inhaler, which apparently looks a lot like people doing some uppers. (So much so that gg chastises the cameraman for filming it and XL turns her back to do it)

Also also, gg's rotten mood is gone. The clip on 6.23 of him being in a bad mood is only about 5 min long, and there's only a 45sec clip for 6.24. So basically, we have no idea what might have cheered him up and there are almost a full 2 days of stuff we know nothing about.

[ashleywool]

late-night health update info-dumping into the void

The neuroendocrine surgeon and her nurses were patient, compassionate, and highly informative.

I walked away with more questions than answers, and like most autistics, I'm not good at sitting peaceably with the unknown.

The tl;dr is that I may not need surgery after all, but if I do need surgery, it would be a riskier surgery than I previously realized. Either way, we will have to wait at least another six weeks to get a better guess. And from where I'm standing now, that feels like an eternity--especially since, as I've often mentioned, my health insurance runs out at the end of August and by September I'll have to pay the COBRA premium. If I'm as lucky as it's possible to get with the NYS COBRA subsidy for entertainment professionals, that'll come to around $292 a month...which would still be cheaper than a marketplace plan and an overall excellent deal as health insurance goes, but guess what else runs out in August? That's right, my unemployment. And guess what happens if I get another job where I can qualify for any old crap minimum-essential health insurance? That's right, I lose the COBRA subsidy and would be stuck paying the full monthly premium...which, for the coverage I'm getting, would STILL be a better deal than most marketplace plans.

But hey, back in 2009 before the Affordable Care Act, even THAT wasn't an option, and the fact that it IS an option now is one of the main reasons why I keep saying that SOMEDAY we will step back and appreciate how much of a healthcare legislation LEGEND Joseph Robinette Biden really is, but I know you're not here for my oversimplified political takes, so let's get back to the other thing you're not here for:

THE ENDOCRINOLOGY INFO-DUMP, July 30, 2024:

Turns out...it's possible that my overall cortisol production is still being skewed by the birth control medications I stopped taking in early June (at my own discretion, remember, because I knew they would affect the cortisol test results even though the first (mean) endocrinologist said they wouldn't, and then said that they did).

What I had read was that 72 hours off the BC meds was sufficient to avoid interference with the low-dose dexamethasone suppression test--so I went off them in advance of my appointment with the first endo, because I was anticipating the ordering of that test.

I'd also read that four weeks off the BC meds was usually sufficient to rule out any potential interferences. When my second LDDST last week showed an even higher cortisol level than the previous one (meaning, the dexamethasone had suppressed it even less), I took that to mean that no, the BC was clearly not playing a part.

Also, the lab screwed up my second 24-hour urine test by not including the total volume in the lab report (what, did they spill it or something?) so there was no way to extrapolate the necessary data...BUT my first and second set of saliva cortisol tests came back normal--even with a high cortisol concentration in my previous urine test and all my blood serum tests.

Apparently, this "saliva vs. the other bodily fluids" cortisol discrepancy has to do with the fact that the cortisol tests measure both "free" cortisol, and transcortin, which is a protein secreted by the liver that binds to cortisol. A serum cortisol test (blood test) will measure both, while urine and saliva tests are meant to measure "free" cortisol. BUT, apparently, these BC meds can cause increased production of transcortin for up to three months after stopping the medication, and that transcortin production might be reflected in the levels associated with the urine test, but NOT in the saliva test.

To definitively confirm a Cushing's diagnosis, we would need to rule out not only any potential interference with cortisol (e.g. glucocorticosteroids), but also rule out any potential interference with transcortin production (e.g. the birth control meds). And the only way to do that is to just...WAAAAAIT.

BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE PITUITARY TUMOR?

WELL...enhanced imaging seems to indicate that the growth on my pituitary gland is fluid-filled, which means it's far likelier to be a Rathke's cleft cyst (technically not a tumor) than a pituitary adenoma (technically a tumor).

I'm sick of speculating and over-explaining what it might be, so until further notice, I'm just gonna call it Otis.

The possible good news is, if the September lab work indicates that my hormone levels were just screwed up from the birth control meds, then Otis's presence might have nothing to do with anything, and therefore, I may not need surgery at all.

The downside of that scenario is that it may take my body a long time to fully recover from any deleterious effects of the BC meds on my endocrine system. And that would also likely mean that my periods would become more regular again, which means that monthly spells of sensory nightmares would become more regular as well.

On the other hand, if the cortisol tests and other lab work don't resolve after the BC is definitively out of my system, and the culprit of the issues turns out to be Otis after all...I would need surgery, but not the straightforward transsphenoidal or endoscopic endonasal surgery that I was expecting. Otis is very close to my brain stem and it might be too risky to attempt draining or removing it through the nasal canal. It's possible they'd try to attack it with radiation therapy, but usually they only do that for RCCs that recur after surgical draining, so who even knows.

I'm just gonna say right now, in terms of symptoms and my knowledge of my own experience, I have a sinking feeling that it is Otis causing the problems. But we aren't even going to be able to attempt making a better guess until mid-September.

And what sucks the most is, there's probably nothing to be done for my symptoms in the meantime. Depending on the results of the bloodwork they did today, they might give me Metformin to treat any possible underlying metabolic syndrome (which is also something I suspected early on), but other than that, it's more "hurry up and wait."

I gotta be honest...in addition to all the physical and emotional overwhelm, I feel like my commitment to unlearning internalized ableism is REALLY being tested right now.

Owning my autism was easier. It was liberating. But I'm realizing that some part of me really did want to "be the poster child for 'if [s]he can, then you can.'" Part of me thought, if I had to be autistic, I was going to be a Model Autistic who can do anything the abled neurotypicals can do. I was going to Set An Example. Not a perfect example, but a solid and consistent example of someone who maximizes her potential but stays woke and stays self-aware and checks her privilege and advocates for intersectionality.

That simply isn't true right now. I can't do everything abled neurotypicals can do. My body is tired, weak, and prone to sickness. My voice is exhausted from regular conversation. My skin is dry and itchy and my face can barely tolerate makeup. I have NO appetite, and yet I've gained so much weight, like I can't get comfortable anywhere because there's too much. My stomach and my lymph nodes feel (and are) constantly swollen, my sense of dehydration is constant and I'm not retaining water correctly.

I feel hideously, embarrassingly ineffectual.

And conventional wisdom says "don't put this on the internet, or else you won't get hired." Don't share your behind-the-scenes, don't share the cutting room floor, only share your highlight reel.

Well, I'm sorry, but if acting is "telling the truth," and if art is about "the fullest expression of the human experience," then following those "rules" seems awfully hypocritical to me. Besides, what sort of disability advocate would I be if I didn't share the truth of what's going on, and how it feels?

Disability pride doesn't have to mean being proud of every part of every disability.

In fact, pride really isn't even the right word.

Because I'm not proud. But I'm not ashamed either. I'm just real.

Being honest about what I'm going through doesn't automatically make me a better or more aspirational person, but it doesn't make me a worse person either. It doesn't make me much of anything, really, because what I'm going through does not need to be anybody else's business, but it also doesn't need to be kept a secret. It is mine to do with as I choose, and the value my story might bring to the world has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the people who hear it, internalize it, and take something away that's valuable to them.

I hope, if nothing else, someone does that.

[proendovents]

I used to have a... well, I say friend, but I mean that really tentatively. like, we had a qpr at some point i think? idk. anyways, the only relevant thing here is that we're not friends anymore.

So, I've known for a while now (2+ months) that this ex-friend is plural. And I mean, I felt safe talking to them about things. I mentioned how I thought there might be a chance that I'm plural (not what this is about though. that's its own thing) a few times. idk why, but I never once brought up my tulpas (bc I don't personally include tulpas as part of my potential plurality. if u do tho, go off ig). Ig my gut was telling me I wasn't totally safe with them.

Anyways. Few weeks back, I found out they were anti-endo through overhearing a conversation they were having with someone else about the topic. So, as soon as I safely could, I sent them an anon ask on their Tumblr telling them exactly why I was blocking them everywhere. Discord? Blocked. Tumblr? Blocked. If I find them anywhere else ever? Blocked.

And, like, it sucked, knowing I had just dropped someone I thought would understand, someone I thought was my friend, but it really wasn't all that bad. But I thought that would be the end of it. I block them everywhere and make active moves to avoid them and any interaction with them.

No.

This person messages one of our mutual plural friends (who I'm pretty sure is proendo or endoneutral) at around 10 pm, which is the time that mutual friend goes to bed. So yk, disturbing the sleep of someone you say is your friend and possibly fucking up their meds? Not cool. And they used that friend as a middleman to tell me they wanted to talk. I asked the friend to (as politely as I could considering how reasonably mad and upset I was) tell them that I will be maintaining the boundaries we've both set up and I will not be breaking that boundary now.

And you'd think "oh, ok Anon. what that person did was rlly shitty of them, it's totally fair that you're upset and feel the need to vent. have you gotten it all out of your system?" wouldn't you? Well that's where you're wrong again! This person messages my ex-girlfriend (who is still one of my closest friends btw. love u lots lulu. hope u never see this ever) to get to me! Like, messaging one person in an attempt to get around a block is just petty and pathetic. Messaging two people to get around the block after already being told that the person you're trying to contact does not want to speak to you ever again is just plain selfish and cruel. I know damn well if she'd been the one doing the blocking, she wouldn't appreciate it if I had done that. God, the lack of respect for others.

And they apologised. apparently. I don't believe for a second that it's sincere because I have trust issues, they've already betrayed my trust, and I know my bestie well enough to know that she scolded them until she got an apology for me. Here's the word for word quote from my bestie's DMs where she relays news of that "apology" I received: she says "she's sorry and she'll leave you alone"

I just wish I didn't have to cut them off. They were nice otherwise, but I'm very proendo while they were very much the opposite. I kinda wonder how they'd feel if they knew that part of my suspicion of my own plurality is endogenic.

:( I’m so sorry anon

[audiovisualrecall]

I have lots of wonderful, friendly, cheerful, and even apologetic customers. But the ones who are rude just are awful. When they act like I'm not a person, or not an *equal* person to them, that they have a right to talk down to me and be rude and then call *me* rude for trying to be polite (despite being pissed off). Like apparently giving them their tip back bc I didn't actually do what they wanted they wanted to just take the flowers and leave didn't want me to re-do it, is ME being "incredibly rude" (when we aren't technically allowed to take tips anyway so). Like they were a thousand times more rude and my giving them their money back was literally Not meant as a snub??? Like ok kinda a little bit like 'you're rude to me so I don't want your money' but it honestly mostly was that it wouldn't feel right accepting the tip when I didn't give them what they wanted. Evem if they weren't clear and my mistake was an honest one.

Anyway.

"Oh she's not done yet?!' Yeah I can hear you. Two big bouquets *take time* fuckers! Instant gratification fuck you buy something pre-made next time.

"What person puts all the colors together and all the greens in a different bouquet???" Well I thought that's what your wife wanted when she split them into 2 piles on the counter and I moved one thing and turned them both around so she could see clearly that this was 2 bouquets split in this way and she OK'd it. So yeah I thought that person was your wife, dipshit.

"Were you on your phone or something?" Because I made a mistake I must be either stupid or somehow on my fucking phone when your wife told me what she wanted???? It's not infinitely more likely that I've had to do so many bouquets already today and a million other things and cutting flowers and dealing with assholes LIKE YOU!?

So yeah they made me cry. I kind of wish I hadn't run away to go cry in the cooler and instead just burst into tears in front of them. Even tho that's embarrassing. But MAYBE they would have felt BAD FOR BEING DICKS? MAYBE?

[littlehungrywarrior]

Happy aro awareness day I’m fucking sick of every “aro positivity” post being overcoming self-hatred and broken-ness. not all of us grew up thinking WE were the goddamn problem. 

obvs if that kind of post correlates with your experience(s) & is helpful to you, great! then this post isn’t for you, it’s for ppl like me with apparently less-common experiences who want SOME kind of validation ever. 

when I was a kid my family watched some kind of TV show where a panel of random celebrities listened to ppl talk about a problem in their relationship, explain both sides of the story, & then the celebrities would vote on whose side “wins” and the “losing” partner would just have to suck it up and do what the other wanted. 

already a bad premise, bc any two people in any relationship (romantic or otherwise) should be partners working on compromises, & these aren’t even counselors they’re just random celebrities. Anyway

A particular episode the problem was this: a jealous wife hated that her husband was hanging out w/old friends from before he met her, particularly female friends. she wanted the panel of celebrities to rule that he was never allowed to talk to them again. 

husband’s argument was that he wasn’t doing anything that could even be mistaken for cheating: they were mostly coming over to bbqs, chatting w/him at the picnic table in the backyard about politics & life events. he was even willing to compromise by not going anywhere privately with them lest it be mistaken for a date (because CLEARLY any man & woman going ANYWHERE is ALWAYS romantic. CLEARLY). 

wife’s argument was that “men are always thinking about sex, thus any time he is looking at his female friends he is thinking about having sex with them.” and the celebrities went OFF about how “””statistically””” men have 3 sexual thoughts a second or whatever (NO idea where they got these numbers) & thus he must be - and i’m quoting this from memory as best I can - “180 thoughts about leaping over that table and kissing [female friend] every single minute.” 

husband kept trying to explain that they were long-time friends but the celebrities just called him a cheater and a liar. eventually they voted UNANIMOUSLY on the wife’s side, forcing husband to get cut off from a significant chunk of his friend group/support network. because his wife couldn’t comprehend that a man & a woman in the same room aren’t necessarily in love with each other. 

I don’t understand how someone can look at that and think, “man, I wish that were me,” much less “the fact that I’m not like that means something’s wrong with me.” 

[save-me-my-seoul]

Hello! How are you? I found your account from the taejin hashtag. Sorry for the sudden ask from a stranger 😄

I found other taejinies here on tumbler too, but apparently they all deactivated? 😢 It's so sad. I can't talk to anyone about the ship I support like other shippers. But I hope you didn't deactivate too😢

I came here to ask about something if its possible?. 😊

So, There are interviews of taejin when they talk about their future with the opposite sex. They could be taken as heteronormative infos. I just saw someone posted an interview(from a magazine?) of Tae when he said he wants to live happily with his wife. Now, do you think this is just for public appearance and just bc that's what's acceptable? I tend to think this way, maybe I'm lying to myself. But, I don't think what we saw in taejin was nothing. Sometimes I blame myself for thinking this way bc i would be making Tae a liar when he say something and I neglect it, and I know he's honest. But to explain my confusion, why would he go to that far of explaining how he would spend his future with a "wife" when he can say a "partner" as gender neutral, for example. So that's why I question, either what they reveal, or my way of thinking about taejin.

I hope I didn't confuse you😄

So, do you mind sharing your take on what he said? Please, be free to share what you believe in. That would help me best. Thank you🌹

Hello! Thank you for finding me 💜 I can talk about Taejin all night and day, so I'm grateful to get the chance to talk about them with you. Many taejinnies have deactivated on this platform. Even though I'm not as active here, I still come to Tumblr often, though these days there are more taejinnies on twt.

To answer your question about Taehyung, yes, he was definitely saying that for the public. There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is training. Idols are trained from Day 1 about what to say to fans and to the press. They're expected to project an image of wholesomeness and normality, someone who is like us. There's nothing more normative than a young man saying he wants a wife and kids some day. That's what he's expected to say.

The second reason is the current conservative political climate. It's also the reason Taehyung can't use a gender-neutral term like partner. In Western culture, when a person uses the term partner, people automatically assume they are gay. However, usage of the word partner to refer to someone romantically involved is not common in Korea, so it's not likely Taehyung would use it.

Being that, any idol who admits he (or she) is gay can say goodbye to his career because the company, society, their family, and most of their fans would forsake them. We don't live in a world where idols can be out. It's just not safe.

So Taehyung would never openly admit he's in love with a man. All of that said, Taehyung did refer to Seokjin as his comrade. That's about as close to gender-neutral as he could come while staying out of the conservative's crosshairs.

As far as the interviews about their future "wives," those were recorded long ago when bts were first starting out, before they gained more freedom to control their own narrative... Before Seokjin could admit his crush on Brad Pitt (twice) and before they could say on national broadcasts more than once that they love each other.

One final note I hope you'll enjoy: Both Freddy Mercury and Elton John were married to women before they came out as gay. Who knows what things will change in the world in the next 20 years, but we can hope that whatever happens, Seokjin and Taehyung are happy, healthy, and in love.

Borahae 💜💜💜

[cryptturon]

so lately theres been an AI controversy in the anime community: no ones defending western localizers from being replaced bc theyve been making fans upset by shoving completely unrelated politics into the subtitles

i.e. a character could straight up just be like. "i wanna wear something fancy" and the subs apparently become something along the lines of "i gotta look as gay as possible to piss that guy off" [dramatized]. similar queer and feminist sentiments have propped up where there were none in the scene's original text

the reason i find this funny is bc the biggest one ive seen this happen to is dragon maid. like. the questionable ecchi dragon girl anime. and the localizer was trying to make the most sexualized big-titted character speak for feminism like. very wrong place at the right time. it's an important thing to talk about but not while doing a job that's done best with accuracy and none of your personality and ideas popping out

the one people are Fine with are dubs bc theyre already commonly accepted to not only speak the text in english but to Feel like it's An English Version of the original text + people really love when memes get in there. subs are, fairly enough to me, not given this freedom bc theyre understood to be purely making the original text understandable but mostly unchanged

anyway it seems these AI subs dont even meet the quality of fansubs and professionally done official subs so its not like people even really want the AI lol its really like. a combination of decent standards for translation quality and just a tad bit of the typical anime space bigotry giving it more attention.

the unfortunate part of all this is how very few people are going against the change and making it abt how much they dislike the localizer's work, rather than advocating for stricter localization standards. they seem too focused on being really bigoted abt it rn and seem to have sentiments that say these people brought it upon themselves which is always. always a bad mindset to have about this

of course i feel like fansubs have consistently been good, except they can also be prone to exhibiting the translator's agenda! the point of official subs is to safeguard from this, but instead the perspective that "it's fine if it's progressive" is really fuckin stupid. both of yall just gotta make it accurate to the context of the text. THATS why we also cant have AI because it lacks an understanding of the context