#bc again it sounds so so so cool. but that doesn't matter if i KNOW i can't pass

[achaotichuman]

Ok, wolf's here again with another quick ask (sorry I couldn't resist!) but... I actually believe that Rhysand doesn't really love Feyre. He's obsessed with the mating bond (he begged and dreamed of it), and here she is: his mate. He tries so hard to make HER fall for him, to keep her but at the same time she has to PROVE to him she's worth it (I'm sorry, but making her steal the ring from the Weaver? MHM) and to see she's over Tamlin (HMMMMMMM) and her tattoos, their death pact (the stupidest thing EVER it really doesn't even make sense in the narrative, like 0 to 0 sense) then the BABY.

I can't stress it enough about that plot (truly, my hate for it is beyond, that book? It's better if I do not speak on it) and overall he is... unhappy. He looks even more so after everything. In the bonus story of Hofas he literally loses his cool, he's brash - more so than in the past. His powers do explode. (Yes, yes, bc of the risks and all that, but still... even some of his stans saw it as a surprise and not IC for him, so...)

To me, he looks like a caged beast that should be happy. HE IS HAPPY, or so he says. But then, with Tamlin in that novella... he says No. When Tamlin asks him "Isn't that enough," he says No. And - as someone just reminded me - even when he leaves Nesta and Cassian in Spring, he looks toward the mansion. He's always, in a way, thinking about him.

Feyre let go of Tamlin. As she said, she wants him to be better (personal eye roll here) and be happy.

She's over him.

Rhysand isn't. Rhysand can't let go of him.

He needs to taunt him, to see him explode, a reaction. He says he hates him, he is obsessed with him.

He wants him to die.

He cooks him a meal. He asks Summer to make sure someone is patrolling.

He says it's for the good of Prythian. He says it's for a better cause.

But is it really? I know that SJM probably (99.99%) doesn't even see the subtext she almost implies, but I do really wonder if Rhysand is actually in love with Feyre, if it's not their 2 years honeymoon phase (longer maybe because they are Faes) + the mating bond and him trying to reinforce over and over that he is happy.

He loves her. He has everything he wanted, begged, and dreamed for. He has all of it, while Tamlin doesn't.

And he still said no. It's not enough. He needs more.

I fear this man will never be happy until he has Tamlin under him, and loves him.

But we will see, this is how I came to think of it all because I read Crescent City, I did read Throne of Glass at the time and I know that she can... sell me a love story. With Rhysand and Feyre? I see it from her, but sometimes even from her POV it feels forced, but from Rhys? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Like, truly, a Honeymoon phase that is coming to an end, but she is his mate, so he IS happy. He must be.

I won't say he doesn't love her at all, but still. Mhm. Maybe it's my dislike for how SJM pushed the narrative (retcons, errors, etc etc) and the fact that in the book I do dislike the two as characters (how no matter what they do the narrative won't punish them, when IT SHOULD! She even does so in her other series, maybe not in a really deep way, but still. Here in acotar - after the first book - nothing the main characters do is ever seen as bad when it's clear some repercussion must be seen/happen)

Aaaand, I said quick but I lost the plot, sorry!!

TDLR: Rhysand doesn't really love love Feyre, it's more the mating bond and his expectation and I think so for many reasons, but most of all, because he said, with Tamlin, No. It isn't enough when it should be.

(Another thing: Tamlin is truly the one who sees him as he is, and they both know it. I'm sorry, but nothing will change my mind about that dfdfsdfsdfs

And the other "love story" she isn't able to sell me is... Cassian and Nesta. Their bond even sounds fake in the narrative, and what love? My man is in love with Rhysand, Azriel and Mor if anything lol)

Aaaand sorry for this long rant and rambling about this! Hope it didn't bother you too much!

Again, sending you all the love and good vibes I can! ♥

AHHH OKAY I WAS SO SO SO EXCITED TO SEE THIS (I love long asks!!) BUT I BAD AT ANSWERING LONG ASKS, SO I WILL DO THIS PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH

I actually believe that Rhysand doesn't really love Feyre. He's obsessed with the mating bond (he begged and dreamed of it), and here she is: his mate. He tries so hard to make HER fall for him, to keep her but at the same time she has to PROVE to him she's worth it (I'm sorry, but making her steal the ring from the Weaver? MHM) and to see she's over Tamlin (HMMMMMMM) and her tattoos, their death pact (the stupidest thing EVER it really doesn't even make sense in the narrative, like 0 to 0 sense) then the BABY.

YES OMFG YES, THIS RHYSAND DOESNT TRULY LOVE FEYRE THEORY, BUT IS OBSESSED WITH THE MATING BOND (I see a version of this kind of theory in regards to Azriel with Elain, but I really like it in terms of Rhysand) He is absolutely obsessed with the idea of Feyre, but couldn't really handle the wildchild she truly was, so at her absolute lowest he swooped her up and molded her into a version he preferred.

I can't stress it enough about that plot (truly, my hate for it is beyond, that book? It's better if I do not speak on it) and overall he is... unhappy. He looks even more so after everything. In the bonus story of Hofas he literally loses his cool, he's brash - more so than in the past. His powers do explode. (Yes, yes, bc of the risks and all that, but still... even some of his stans saw it as a surprise and not IC for him, so...)

Ooooooh I really like this idea!!! (pls correct me if I am misunderstanding) But Rhysand deep down being unhappy with the bond and his relationship with Feyre because it isn't the dream he imagined it to be, and has its issues and complications which despite being normal for any relationship, is not the perfection he imagined, and at their core, no amount of molding is ever going to make Feyre compatible to Rhysand, unless she has absolutely no drive at all, he has to resort to manipulation tactics to get her to do what he wants, and I dont think anybody could be truly happy like that. Rhysand obviously wants someone who *thinks* like him, and Feyre just plain doesn't. She thinks like TAMLIN

To me, he looks like a caged beast that should be happy. HE IS HAPPY, or so he says. But then, with Tamlin in that novella... he says No. When Tamlin asks him "Isn't that enough," he says No. And - as someone just reminded me - even when he leaves Nesta and Cassian in Spring, he looks toward the mansion. He's always, in a way, thinking about him. Feyre let go of Tamlin. As she said, she wants him to be better (personal eye roll here) and be happy. She's over him. Rhysand isn't. Rhysand can't let go of him. He needs to taunt him, to see him explode, a reaction. He says he hates him, he is obsessed with him. He wants him to die. He cooks him a meal. He asks Summer to make sure someone is patrolling. He says it's for the good of Prythian. He says it's for a better cause.

Oooooooooh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

Rhysand cannot let go of Tamlin, absolutely, he is in a way always revolving around him. All his decisions, in the end, have Tamlin in mind in some way or another. Or end up with him near Tamlin again. I wonder if this could link back to a time where Rhysand was another, freer, better version of himself, where Tamlin's thinking and personality was not a clash but a compliment. And now that he can no longer have that person, Tamlin's gentler, kinder but strong-willed and stubborn personality now uncomfortably scraps against Rhysand, but still Rhys wants him back. But since Tamlin will never ever go crawling back to him, the closest thing he can get is Feyre. But again, Feyre resembles Tamlin, and Tamlin and Rhysand no longer work. So neither do Feyre and Rhysand (I AM SO SORRY FOR HIJACKING YOUR THEORY MY BRAIN IS GOING 100 MILES PER HOUR)

But is it really? I know that SJM probably (99.99%) doesn't even see the subtext she almost implies, but I do really wonder if Rhysand is actually in love with Feyre, if it's not their 2 years honeymoon phase (longer maybe because they are Faes) + the mating bond and him trying to reinforce over and over that he is happy. He loves her. He has everything he wanted, begged, and dreamed for. He has all of it, while Tamlin doesn't. And he still said no. It's not enough. He needs more. I fear this man will never be happy until he has Tamlin under him, and loves him.

Oh SJM is useless in this scenario, I don't even mention her when I talk about possibilities between Rhysand and Tamlin. I make my own rules. Canon is my playground.

I adore this theory, one of the best I've seen for Feyre and Rhysand, it just works so well. If this were to happen between them, I would love to see how Rhysand handles the fallout. It would be gradual ofc, but seeing everything unravel slowly around him, leaving him in the same lonely place he was before the fifty years. *chefs kiss*

But we will see, this is how I came to think of it all because I read Crescent City, I did read Throne of Glass at the time and I know that she can... sell me a love story. With Rhysand and Feyre? I see it from her, but sometimes even from her POV it feels forced, but from Rhys? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Like, truly, a Honeymoon phase that is coming to an end, but she is his mate, so he IS happy. He must be.

AHH YOU ARE COOKING WITH THISSSSS, SJM does know how to write romance, so I am still left very confused on how she went so horribly wrong with Feysand.

But the angst of the honeymoon phase slowly coming to an end for Rhysand, just sounds delicious, and I would love to see this happen in canon, but alas I will settle for a fic!

I won't say he doesn't love her at all, but still. Mhm. Maybe it's my dislike for how SJM pushed the narrative (retcons, errors, etc etc) and the fact that in the book I do dislike the two as characters (how no matter what they do the narrative won't punish them, when IT SHOULD! She even does so in her other series, maybe not in a really deep way, but still. Here in acotar - after the first book - nothing the main characters do is ever seen as bad when it's clear some repercussion must be seen/happen)

Rhysand definitely has affection for Feyre, but I struggle to see how it runs deeper than the forced affection from the mating bond and general empathy for her. SJM I think probably rushed Feysand because she got obsessed with it (cough, guilty here, cough) but her editors should have caught that, and, tbh I think if she really wanted to sell Feysand, she should have ditched the "Tamlins an abuser! So Rhysand by comparison is the (only) better option!" and stretched ACOMAF over two more books. We should have also had more worldbuilding with the Night Court, and been shown Feyre intergrating with the Night Court in a similar, preferrably deeper way, to the Spring Court. Plus, I would have killed to have some real education classes for Feyre. Tutoring would have been cool, in House of Hunger, Marion has actual lessons on the Houses in the North. The scenes on page didn't go super deep into what she was learning, but we knew she was learning, and we got some cool scenes of it. I think something like that for Feyre, would have been wonderful. Plus, I think having Morrigan as like a history teacher would have been fun and opened a deeper level of friendship between them, further opening Feyre to the Inner Circle, but Ill shut up now, cause Im ranting

Aaaand, I said quick but I lost the plot, sorry!! TDLR: Rhysand doesn't really love love Feyre, it's more the mating bond and his expectation and I think so for many reasons, but most of all, because he said, with Tamlin, No. It isn't enough when it should be. (Another thing: Tamlin is truly the one who sees him as he is, and they both know it. I'm sorry, but nothing will change my mind about that dfdfsdfsdfs And the other "love story" she isn't able to sell me is... Cassian and Nesta. Their bond even sounds fake in the narrative, and what love? My man is in love with Rhysand, Azriel and Mor if anything lol) Aaaand sorry for this long rant and rambling about this! Hope it didn't bother you too much! Again, sending you all the love and good vibes I can! ♥

DONT WORRY ABOUT LOSING THE PLOT IN ASKS, I GET IT, I DO IT TOO!!! DONT BE SORRY!!!

I do like Tamlin being the one to truly see Rhys, he would most certainly know him the most intimately, because he's seen Rhys at his absolute best and his absolute rock bottom worst. Truly the toxic, doomed yaoi we were so horribly denied!

Ugh, I won't even get started on Cassian and Nesta. Nesta deserves so so so much better, end of dicussion!

IT DID NOT BOTHER ME, I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY TOO, THANK YOU FOR SENDING IT, I AM SENDING YOU ALL OF THE GOOD VIBES AND LOVE AS WELL!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

heard a rumor from a high school teacher of mine that the professor of that sci-fi fantasy class (whose curriculum sounds cool but whose late work and attendance policies are extremely harsh and frankly inaccessible as hell) Does That with that policies so a bunch of people drop the class and she only has to grade like 5 ppl's papers. which may not be true at all but MAN.

[luveline]

can I request eddie with golden retriever!reader, maybe where she gets upset because she overheard people calling her stupid and he sees her cry for the first time and it breaks his heart bc even though she’s upset, she’s trying to be happy? a big hurt/comfort moment?

thank you so much for your request! i love him so much i just wanna squeeze him <3 fem!reader, 1k

Eddie stands in the doorway, and you're lucky he's around. He looks pretty today in his softest manner, plaid shirt tied around his waist, a shirt with cut off sleeves showcasing the lengths of his arms and all their subtle muscle, inky dark tattoos climbing his skin in whorls. His hand moves forward toward you, pale fingers bright even in the dark room. 

"It's a party," he says, "what are you doing here all by yourself?" 

You wipe your running nose with your sleeve for lack of a tissue. Sniffling, you say, "I just didn't want to cry in front of everyone. I'll be right there." 

Eddie closes the door with an easy swiftness. He flicks on the lamp, and he looks at you like you've pulled the rug from under his sneakers. 

"It's fine," you say quickly. You add a laugh you're not quite feeling, not wanting him to worry about you. "Don't stress." 

"Why are you acting like this isn't a big deal?" he says immediately, no punches held. 

"It's not, everybody cries." 

Eddie sits on the end of the bed. The bedspread is a washed out grey, the room someone else's and unfamiliar. You hadn't wanted to have anyone come upon you messy crying in the bathroom, slipping into the master bedroom without a word. It's weird to be among other people's things. It has the feeling of isolation creeping in all over again.

Eddie puts his hand on your thigh. "What's wrong?" he asks, squeezing gently. 

"It's really not a big deal." 

"Humour me then. What's bad enough to make you cry?" 

You swipe under your eyes, his questioning prompting another wave of useless tears. They well big and drop fast down your cheeks like warm summer rain on your cool skin. "It's really stupid," you say with a wet laugh. You can't wipe your face fast enough.

"This is agony for me, you realise?" he says, in a tone that's not as teasing as his usual dramatics. "Seeing you upset? Tell me who said something mean and I'll kick their ass." 

"No, Eddie, you can't." 

"So someone did say something mean?" he asks. 

You trace the curve of a silver ring on his fingers as his hand rubs a slow back and forth over your jeans. The ache in your spine from slouching forward into your hands twinges as you begin to relax, your upset softened by his comforting touch. You don't answer him, only look at his hand, tear after tear curving along the slope of your cheek to meet under your chin. You bring your shoulder up and wipe your chin into your t-shirt. 

"Hey," Eddie murmurs, patting your leg, "you can tell me. I won't do anything you don't want me to do, but I gotta know what's making you cry." 

You loll your head to the side and give him a sad smile. "D'you ever get the feeling that… that everyone's just pretending to like you?" 

"No, but… that's because people don't bother pretending, with me," he says. 

You nod appreciatively. "Well…" 

"It doesn't matter, I can guess. I can guess how it would feel. You think people are just pretending to like you?" 

"I know so," you say. 

Eddie takes his hand from your thigh. You don't have time to mourn the loss —his arm comes up behind you, fingers curling gently at your hip. "C'mere," he whispers, closing the gap between your sides. 

"People saying shit about you?" he asks. 

"You know Gareth's friend? The shorter one? He was laughing with his girlfriend about how stupid I sounded when I was telling you about that octopus thing and I… I know I sounded stupid, it was basically a joke, you know?" You rest your head on his shoulder. "It's dumb." 

"That wasn't stupid, that was interesting."

"In what world?"

"Hey, I can deal with idiots talking down on you, that's what idiots do, but I won't hear it from you. Okay? Don't piss me off," he warns jokingly, giving your waist a small shake against him. "You're not stupid. Do you know how fucking smart, how unshakeable you have to be to see the good in the world? It's easy to give into cynicism, that's why I do it."

"Eddie," you laugh. 

"So you got excited about something a bit weird," he says, "so what? Why should they get to say that's stupid?" 

"Is it really weird?" you ask. 

"Super fucking weird, babe." 

He sounds pleased to have said it, his smile audible, his breath a warm fanning against your cheek. You know you're moments away from a chaste kiss pressed sneakily to the skin just shy of your ear. 

You're shameful. "Is that bad?" you ask. 

Eddie kisses you as you'd expected, right on the mark. "No," he says resolutely, grinning at you though you can hardly see him, he's so close. "No way. We're weirdos together."

You let him make you feel better with another hug, this one double-armed, the short stubble of his chin scratching your cheek. Hands full of his hair, you squeeze him tight enough to bruise, pleased when he groans and yanks out of your arms. 

"That how it is?" he asks. 

"Isn't it always?" 

Eddie takes your face into rough hands. You're under no illusion —delusion, even— that he might close the inches between you. This is a Munson style telling off, eyes locked to yours, forcing you to listen. 

"You scared the shit out of me, but don't think you have to come and sit in a dark room crying by yourself. That's not okay. That's a bit sick, actually." 

"Are you serious?" 

"As a heart attack." 

He rubs your cheeks childishly, pushing them up so they apple. Then, with much more tenderness, he wipes the tacky triangles of your eyelashes with the tip of his thumb. "No crying in empty rooms. You have to do it when I'm around, so I can make fun of you." 

"You're very charming," you say sweetly. 

Something funny stutters over his face, like a slice of sincerity through his bravado. "Only with you, sweetheart."  

[unclewaynemunson]

Alt version of this post bc too many people asked for both &lt;3

It's Saturday night and, like almost every Saturday night, Eddie wishes he didn't have to be at some jock party. The flashing lights, the scent of cheap mixed drinks, the incredibly mediocre loud music... And worst of all, the fucking jocks. Everywhere.

'Eddie!'

He looks up to find Steve, with a dopey smile on his face, basically skipping towards him and throwing his arms around his neck. Oh. He didn't know Steve still went to parties like those. Hadn't seen him at any of them in a while. But as soon as he gets wrapped up in an enthusiastic full-body hug, he decides there's one jock, and one jock only, that he doesn't mind running into at those parties.

'Eddie, what're you doin' here?' There's an unfocused look in his eyes and he wobbles on his legs a little bit, grabbing tighter onto Eddie for support. The touch burns through Eddie's t-shirt and he tries to ignore the shiver running down his spine.

'I didn't know you liked parties!' Steve drops his voice, slurring: 'I thought you hated the jocks.'

Eddie can't help but smile. 'I hate all jocks but one, big boy,' he tells Steve. 'Not here to party, only to get some cash.' He rattles with the metal lunchbox in his hands to illustrate his point. 'Can you let me go now so I can get on with my business, pretty please?'

'Noooo,' Steve says with an exaggerated pout. 'I'm too happy you're here! Dance with me!'

Eddie chuckles. 'I don't think you're in any state to dance right now. Jesus, Stevie, I don't think I've ever seen you this wasted before. Thought you were planning to pick up a girl tonight?'

'I was,' Steve says, suddenly sounding oddly serious. 'But it doesn't matter. Just needed to forget. The rum helped, too.' He frowns. 'Til you showed up.'

'Forget what?' Eddie asks, trying to make sense of this drunken string of words.

Something happens; something that's been happening quite often lately. Steve's eyes flash downwards, just for a second, right to where Eddie's lips are.

Eddie's heartbeat involuntarily picks up speed.

'What did you need to forget, Steve?' Eddie asks again.

'Can't tell you,' Steve mumbles so softly that Eddie can barely make it out over the loud music. 'I don't wanna make you feel guilty. I'm not judging you, y'know. 'S fine.'

He abruptly lets go of Eddie and takes a step away from him, stumbling right into some girl who pushes him back with an annoyed scoff; if Eddie weren't still standing right behind him, he would've fallen on his ass for sure.

'Alright, you're not making any sense tonight, big boy, but I can't in good conscience let you stay here by yourself. How 'bout I'll drive you home?'

Eddie glances at his watch. If he hurries, he can probably still be back to do what he came here for before the good part of the party is over. He does kinda need the cash.

'Can't,' says Steve. 'Can't go home with you.' Something in his voice is breaking and suddenly there are tears in his eyes, and Eddie still doesn't understand what's wrong; he feels like he's overlooking something huge, something that should be obvious.

'Let's just go outside to talk, then?' he suggests.

'Can't. Dance with me, Eddie.'

But when Eddie starts gently tugging Steve towards the open door leading to the garden, Steve easily lets himself be led outside. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath when the cool night air reaches his lungs, as if one gulp of fresh air will instantly make him sober up. But he's still swaying on his feet, making Eddie grab onto him tighter.

Eddie likes to think of himself as moderately strong, but unfortunately, hauling 180 pounds of muscled jock around is starting to take its toll on him. He spots a bench in a secluded corner of the garden and guides Steve towards it.

'This better?' he asks.

'Yeah,' Steve breathes out. Even now that they're both sitting down, Steve keeps clinging onto him. 'Look at the stars, Eddie.'

Eddie looks up at the scattering of lights twinkling far above them - but he can feel Steve's eyes still burning into his face.

When he directs his gaze back to the guy sitting next to him, Steve's face is even closer than before. The starlight is reflected in his hazy eyes, tiny specks of silver hidden in various shades of brown and black.

'I wish I could kiss you,' Steve whispers, looking at Eddie with nothing but admiration behind that glassy drunk gaze.

Eddie almost forgets to breathe. He knows that it seemed like he and Steve were headed exactly toward something like this for a while now, but he still can hardly believe that it is real. That Steve Harrington is really looking at him like he's just as precious as the stars in the sky above them.

He brings up a hand, gently caresses Steve's soft cheek.

'Maybe you don't have to wish,' he whispers back, unable to stop his eyes from flashing towards Steve's beautiful lips for a moment. 'Tomorrow. When you're not drunk anymore. If you still remember this.'

'No.' Steve shakes his head, so fiercely it makes his hair flap in all directions and his complexion at least two shades paler. 'Can't.'

'Why do you keep saying that, Steve?' Eddie asks softly.

'Cause.' For a moment Eddie thinks Steve is gonna grab his ass, but then... he randomly frees Eddie's handkerchief – the one with the skulls – from his back pocket.

'Cause of the Russians.'

Eddie can only stare at him in confusion.

'They tied me up,' Steve all but whispers. Eddie hates how small and broken his voice suddenly sounds.

He has always known – broadly speaking – about what happened to Steve and Robin miles beneath Starcourt last year. He's never actually heard Steve talk about the details, though. All he knows is that he and Robin were captured by Russian spies and somehow made it out alive. He could always see how difficult it was for Steve to talk about it whenever it came up, but he never wanted to pry. And now here they are, at some goddamn high school jock party of all places, and all of a sudden Steve willingly brings it up.

'I was with Robin,' Steve continues, still in that scared and broken voice. 'And they tied us to a chair. We couldn't move. And they – they hurt me. They hit me. 'Til I was bleeding all over. I thought I was gonna die. Robin thought I was dead.'

'Jesus Christ, Steve,' Eddie breathes out, tightening his grip around Steve's torso.

'So I can't,' Steve mumbles, holding up Eddie's handkerchief as if it's some kind of logical explanation for whatever it is he's trying to tell Eddie.

'Wh- What?'

'I know what it means, Eddie,' he says, as if he's even remotely making sense right now. 'You know John?'

'Who the hell is John?' Eddie only keeps finding himself more and more lost in this conversation.

'My cousin,' Steve says, like it's obvious, like he's ever talked about some cousin named John to Eddie before. 'The one in New York. He knows all about that shit, right? He sends me the good magazines sometimes when my parents aren't home. That's how I know.'

'Know what?'

Steve only waves around with that stupid handkerchief again.

'You're flagging, aren't ya? You like pain. Like BS... BM...'

Eddie feels his jaw drop.

'What the fuck are you talking about?' he asks. 'It's – this is a metal thing. It looks metal. I literally have no idea what you're – flagging?'

Now Steve's face finally mirrors the confusion Eddie has been feeling for the past ten minutes.

'Are you serious?' he asks, for one second showing more clarity in his eyes than Eddie has seen all evening.

Eddie nods.

'So it's not...' Steve stops himself, swallows, frowns. 'You're not into, like, hurting people and shit?'

And finally, it all clicks together in Eddie's mind: the repeated chorus of I can't, the story about the Russians, the goddamn handkerchief... Flagging. BDSM.

'Why the hell would I get off on hurting you, Steve?' is all he can get out of his mouth.

And Steve honest-to-Satan starts giggling; it sounds so relieved that Eddie kinda feels like giggling too, scary metal image be damned.

'I dunno, it's more common than you think,' Steve mumbles. 'I wouldn't judge you, alright? But I knew I could never give you that. No matter how much I like you. And then you'd get bored of me.'

'Oh, Steve,' Eddie whispers out. 'You don't need to worry 'bout that, I swear. For all I care, we can have the most vanilla sex in the world forever. Or never have sex at all. As long as it's with you... I'm good.' Eddie cringes as soon as the words leave his mouth: it sounds too cheesy, too sincere. He kinda hopes Steve will have forgotten this particular part of their conversation tomorrow morning.

But Steve doesn't look at him like he thinks it's stupid at all: his eyes are wide and he's smiling a soft smile.

'You sure? You won't get bored?'

Eddie chuckles. Now that he's being too goddamn cheesy anyway, he might as well double down on it. 'I can't imagine getting bored of getting to hold this body in a million fucking years. In any way you'll have me.'

Steve heaves out a relieved sigh before he buries his head against Eddie's chest.

'Can I bring you home, now?' Eddie asks.

There's a twinkle in Steve's eyes when he lifts his head again.

'Ooohhh... You wanna have the most vanilla sex in the world with me now?'

A chortle escapes Eddie's lungs.

'Um, maybe tomorrow, when you're not drunk off your ass,' he answers with a wink. 'For tonight, just lemme get you to bed, 'kay?'

'Okay, big boy,' Steve answers, and Eddie can't help but laugh before he presses a kiss against Steve's forehead.

[artistsfuneral]

Hey, remember that really cool witcher fic I never wrote bc it's living rent free in my head? Yes this one:

Lambert gets captured by a mage, for some plot reason, and to avoid getting killed by the rightfully angry witcher, the mage curses Lambert's senses.

His vision is terribly blurry, think dark vignette around the corners, messy shapes, more a constantly shifting, wobbly mess than anything else. He can't see. It hurts to open his eyes because he can't even control his pupils anymore so light just gets in and - yeah it's not great.

He is deafened. A normal human would probably be unable to hear anything, but he's a witcher. It all sounds like his head is held under water. He can't make out any of the quiet noises and everything loud sounds distorted and really far away. Lambert is in a lot of danger.

He also can't talk. Not in words at least. He can growl and whine and scream and- He doesn't need to be able to hear himself to know that he sounds more like an animal.

The only thing the mage has left him with is his sense of smell (and touch). The idiot probably had no idea just how good a witcher's sense of smellcan be and it's Lambert's main tool of survival now.

So Lambert somehow manages to escape anyways - because it's Lambert and Lambert is awesome and there needs to be plot to this. But it's also winter and everything is just loud and bright and cold and oh gods what the fuck is he supposed to do?

He can't see anything. Light reflects off of snow and right into his blown out pupils, effectively blinding him. The sound of his boots against the snow is incredibly disorienting. Every crunch seems to echo in his ears and he can't make out anything else. There's only one way for him to go and it's foreward. Away from the smell of ozone and into the forest.

He stumbles and falls and gets up just to stumble all over again - he just wants to get away, it doesn't matter into which direction he's walking, as long as he's getting further and further away from that hellhole

And then he stumbles again, trips through the snow and down a goddamn cliff - thankfully the snow cushions his fall but yeah... He's not doing so peachy. He loses his consciousness (like all good characters do) and he thinks that's it, he's going to die in a heap of snow. He hopes his brothers won't think he fell on purpose. Despite how much he complains he would never actually leave them behind like this....

What Lambert doesn't know is that he's basically fallen into the temporary camp of the cat caravan. And they look at him and decide yes, they are going to keep this absolutely pathetic (broken, bloody, too thin, shivering, wet, barely alive) looking witcher.

When Lambert wakes, he panics (obviously) and his fight or flight kicks in hard. There's strangers all around him and they're trying to hold him down and they're strong and gods above this is fucking scary! And then- then his hand meets a familiar object. A medallion. He freezes up, clutches at the medallion like he's holding onto his own lifeline- and then a hand takes hold of his and leads it to another medallion and with his hand against their chests he can feel their witcher-slow heartbeats and oh thank fuck-

(i am procrastinating by writing this down, need to post it now or else i will be sitting here til tomorrow, avoiding my actual task but do let me know if you want to hear how this continues because yes theres a lot more of this in my brain)

[sulumuns-dootah]

Can I request a headcanon of whb kings reacting to gn mc cracking their bones(?) I genuinely don't know what's it called lol... I don't really know if demons do that but it would be funny if they don't and mc just suddenly did that during a steamy moment..

WHB kings w/ an s/o who cracks their knuckles and joints

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: I hc that demons can't do this bc their bodies work a bit different from ours, so to them it just looks like you're breaking them

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

What are you doing?!

Oh, that... Doesn't hurt you?

Satan demands answers and tutorial on how he can do that as well

It looks cool and right up his alley

If your joints pop at random, he'll at first think that you really did break a bone or something

How can your body be so fragile?

Wait, your body does that by itself and just for the fun of it?

Hmmf... Human bodies are so weird...

       ༺☆༻

"Are you okay, master?"

When he hears the cracking sound he's immediatelly by your side, ready to assist you and get you to a doctor

Then he realises you're doing that on purpose and he's flabbergasted

Is breaking their knuckles just a human thing?

Now, during spicy time I can imagine he's just pushing your legs up agains your chest and then he hears the *crack*

His heart stops and he ceases all movent

He just broke your back or worse, didn't he?

It takes full minutes to reassure him that you're okay and that he didn't break anything

       ༺☆༻

Stop that immediatelly

Levi is uncomfortable and won't hesitate to hang you for something so cringe-inducing

Doesn't care that it's normal for humans

He's the king and you will listen to him

Even if your body does is by accident, he'll shoot you death glares

Honestly? His irritation partially comes from him being worried and you doing this will make it harder in the future to distinguish whether you need a doctor

Oh, but Glasyalabolas is very interessted in this feature and wants to know everything

       ༺☆༻

Oho? What just happened?

Prepare to explain why or how you're cracking your knuckles each time bc this bit of information is not staying in his brain

All that matters is that you're safe and sound

You want candy?

Random joint pops usually don't even go noticed during spicy time with Beel, since you're both too preoccupied with each other

Your joints cracking are a good way to destinguish between the real Beel and Bael pretending to be him, though

Bael will freak out and wanna take you to Paradise Lost fro a checkup

       ༺☆༻

Ugh... What is that noise?

'Who tf is snapping twigs in my room?'

When he looks over, he just sees you absentmindedly cracking your knuckles

He's too tired to interrogate you about that, but Beleth does get it as his number one task on his list

If your knees act like they're 400 years old, Belphie will always make a comment about it while you're on top

I kinda want to say that Belphie is an outlier and his joints also crack since he moves so little and when he finally tries to use them they get offended

       ༺☆༻

Luci is aware of some features of human bodies, but even this is kinda surprising to him

Why would you do that to yourself?

Still, he's not worried since as a healer he knows what makes your joints crack and pop

He does wish you'd not do that around him, though

If that happens on accident, he'll ignore it unless you sound off that that particular one was painful

All the demons in Paradise Lost are aware of your joints randomly popping and don't question it

It's even written into your medical file

Somehow, Gamigin missed the memo and freaks out each time and is worried even after your explanation

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hii! Let me start by saying I've binged most of your Tangerine and Pietro's works and I absolutely loved it 🤌🏻

If you're still accepting requests, could you write for fwb! Tangerine, after you told him that you should be just friends (bc of what he does for a living) but eventually cave in when he gets back from a mission? (mix of smut and fluff if possible).

Thank you <3

hii angel!! tehe yes ive seen you around, and tysm☹️okay I really love this !! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌

MEET IN THE MIDDLE

tangerine x female reader

wc. 1107

cw. 18+ only!! spoiler alert but he tears readers clothing bc he's a desperate horny mess and it's hot as shit, unprepped and unprotected sex, pinv. mdni

Since you put a cool on your contractual relationship with Tangerine a month ago, you've delved back into that state of solemn longing. Putting an end to many months' worth of great sex wasn't easy - it really wasn't, and as much as you started to fall for the guy, you just couldn't seem to get over what he did for a living. 

No matter how much you pushed down that feeling of unease, you could not get past it.  

That was until ten days ago, when he texted you on a random tuesday, telling you he was leaving for work to South Africa, seeing if you wanted to meet when he returns. Since that text, he's been your every thought - every notion in your mind. 

The idea of him leaving for a dangerous job abroad struck panic and dread within you - the thought of him getting hurt without him knowing how much you really felt about him was something you could not bear to stomach.

After that text, you've been counting off the days until you could see him again, waiting until you get that confirmation he's okay and safe. 

It was finally the day Tangerine returns home from his trip, and it was singularly the only day of happiness you felt since calling things off. You both occasionally texted while he was away, only conversing when he had time to spare, talking about the plan for when he comes back. You settled on your place; he would go home, clean himself up and pop by yours for a casual, friendly night in - like old times.

Your door knocks in that familiar pattern you've grown to know so well, and you immediately rush to answer it - a bright smile as you peek through the gap, looking at Tangerine on the other side with a grin as sincere as yours.

"Oh my god," you gush, instantly wrapping him in a tight hug. You pull away, awkward eyes diverting from his awe-filled ones. "Sorry, sorry— that was too much. It's just..." you breathe, meeting his gaze. "Really good to see you."

"I missed you," he admits, speaking confidently. "But... didn't think you'd actually wanna see me."

Your smile resurfaces, and you pause. That wasn't true - you couldn't wait to see Tangerine again. 

Since you had time to call down during the time apart, you've grown to realise that his job didn't define him as a person and that, at the core of it, it doesn't really matter. He isn't some abhorrent, abusive mercenary - he is someone who loves and cares deeply, someone who is sweet and thoughtful, no matter how hard they pretend they're not.

"Bull," you joke, sweet eyes staying glued to his - like they were taking him all in, seeing him in the flesh for the first time again. "That's not true."

He steps into your house and kicks off his shoes, making himself at home. "No?"

"No," you shake your head, soft yet stern movements as you move to close the door behind him. "Not at all."

You turn around to meet him, though now, he's closed the gap between you by a foot, standing in front of you with his hands itching up towards you, making tentative movements to the sides of your face. 

His gaze remains lidded as he places his palms over either cheek, cupping you in his hands. "You mean that?"

You nod in his hold, murmuring your agreement - far too concerned about the weak sound you'd make if you spoke. 

"Yeah?" he weakly smiles, slowly leaning in towards you. 

"Yeah," you repeat, meeting him in the middle for a kiss, melting into the soft and sweet contact you've since longed for. 

He parts -barely- whispering against your lips. "Good."

His grip on your face firms as he brings you back in, kissing you more urgently this time, as if that little peck wasn't enough to satiate the need. It grows carnal, more desperate - hungrily kissing as he pushes you up against the front door. 

Your hands roam him ever so familiarly, trailing over his stubbly jaw as you hold him to you - keeping him close. You murmur a faint moan into his mouth as you feel him chub up against you, his hardening cock prodding at your lower stomach through his lounge shorts.

"Fuck," he muffles roughly between your lips, slipping a hand behind your neck - fist tightening at the root. 

"Been so long," you whisper, your voice weak as you catch your breath between breaks.

"Too fuckin' long," he adds.

He peels you from the door and walks you backwards into your living room - guiding you to the sofa within his sure hold. He keeps his lips glued to yours as he lays you down on the cushion, hovering atop as he situates himself between your spread thighs.

"Do you like these?" he asks, tugging on your pyjama bottoms.

"Yeah," you hum, snaking your hand between yourselves - reaching for his waistband.

"Alright, I'll buy'ya a new pair," he replies, voice hoarse as he slips himself from your tight grasp, sitting up on his heels. 

He places both large hands between your thighs, meeting at your crotch as he tears a hole in the fabric - giving him perfect access to your pussy.

The motion catches you by surprise, sending a deep shiver down your spine as you peek down between your thighs - seeing the frayed material right by your cunt, looking at the consequence of his desperation. 

Your chest rises and falls heavily, intense, short breaths as you peer up at him, eyes flickering over him in a way that mirrors his own. 

He slides his hand down the front of his shorts, delving into his boxers as he pulls his dick out the waistband, rolling over his length in his palm. His grip slips down to the head of his cock, thumb resting on the upperside as he guides himself towards you - parting your underwear aside with his spare hand. He slowly eases his tip into you, savouring that first initial fluttering stretch of your unprepped pussy, relishing the feeling of you needily swallowing more of him.

He strips from his hoodie and throws it aside, leaning back over you so his chest is flush up against you, hands instinctively cupping your face as he peppers your jaw in quick kisses. 

 "Fuck— I missed you," he murmurs as he slowly begins to roll his hips into you, grinding into you with easy, gentle strokes.

You guys have a lot to catch up on. 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[acozysoulwrites]

If your taking requests for Ken could you write reader being from the real world and meeting Ken.

Helping him find who he is and just being very nice to him making him fall in love with her. And if it isn't too much maybe she asks him if he wants to match outfits and that becoming there thing. Just Ken finding out that he doesn't have to be just Barbie's accessory

Helping Ken find himself | HC’s + drabble!

I put this into a two parter of Headcanons and a short drabble! I love this idea so much it’s so adorable I hope you enjoy this!

‹𝟹 After realizing that he is more than ‘just Ken’, he decides to venture to the real world (again) to find out who he is.

‹𝟹 He meets you there, and insists that you come back to Barbie Land with him after you two hit it off.

‹𝟹 You’re the nicest person he’s ever met, you never talk over him, you always share your thoughts with him, and you genuinely love his company.

‹𝟹 Ken isn’t used to this, and he often gets overwhelmed.

‹𝟹 This means he often smiles so much his face hurts, or he’s teary eyed.

‹𝟹 He often fascinatingly admires you while you speak, he will rest his head in his hands and smile at you with heart eyes.

‹𝟹 The first time he opened up to you about how he didn’t know who he was without Barbie (or anyone to base his personality off of) he cried.

‹𝟹 He leaned into you and let you rub his back while he spoke and whimpered through words.

‹𝟹 That was the first night he spent over at your place. (or anyone’s place for that matter)

‹𝟹 The next morning, you made him breakfast (something he’d never had done for him before)

‹𝟹 “What’ll it be?” you asked him when he woke up.

‹𝟹 He frowned. “uh…” a smile shyly made its way onto his face. “Brownies” He said confidently. It was an odd request, but you knew not to question it.

‹𝟹 (btw, he discovers that he really likes brownies)

‹𝟹 You help him find his music taste.

‹𝟹 He loves 80’s indie and Taylor Swift.

‹𝟹 One day, Ken comes to you with a bouquet of flowers. “Hey y/n” he breathes, a huge smile on his face as he hides his hand behind his back.

‹𝟹 He confessed his feelings for you that day, and you returned them … (bc how could you not?)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

(and now, a short thing i wrote where Ken asks if you can match outfits!)

The wind blows the curtains of your cottage. Barbie Land was truly a beautiful place to live. Though you had to make a few adjustments as a human living here, you managed.

Ken was coming over today, the two of you were traveling to the real world to visit your family (something you did together often).

You get up and get dressed; a t-shift with mushrooms and a pair of shorts. Soon, you hear someone at your door, smiling to yourself at the pattern of the knock. It was Ken, the two of you made up a secret knocking pattern (It was his idea) He claimed it would be “Super cool” of you if you agreed.

You open your door and Ken rushes in, he’s wearing a plaid shirt and jeans and you can’t help but check him out as he passes you.

“So I was thinking-“

“Oh boy” you tease.

Ken ignores you and begins toward the stairs leading up to your bedroom.

“What if… we match outfits before we go? It could be like… our thing if you want” he says shyly, a pleading smile plastered on his face.

You chuckle at his enthusiasm and nod. “Sure Ken, that sounds cute” You say, following him to your room.

“Great! I was thinking…. cowboys?”

You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off.

“AND cowgirls…” he corrects himself.

You laugh. “Perfect”

[eightstarr]

and also!! doctor abby!? i think a lot about her too. just so you know. you're spinning meee arounddd my feet are off the grounddd <3<3<3 (me when she) anyways... this one silly thought popped into my mind when i was on the bus while listening to this song. i think abby always tries to be like, casual with gifts but absolutely sucks at it?? lemme explain, let's say you're at a mall and she sees you look at a necklace for a little too long, next evening after you come home from somewhere idk could be school, work, wherever! and abby worked twice as fast & hard so she could leave early and get that necklace and bring it home before you came back :( and when you arrive she's reading, but her cheeks are like glowing red and she's smiling like an idiot. and she tries to surpress it but her lips twitch. you get a little suspicious but when you enter your room to change, you see a small box on your bedside drawer and you gasp loudly. "ABBY WHAT IS THIIIIISSSS ??" and you're like. actually screaming because wtf? wtf. how is she so wifey. "it's the necklace you were looking at today baby, thought i'd get it for you!" and her voice CRACCKKSS when she says that girl like i know it does. bc she's trying to sound soo cool and soo casual, as if her heart's not thumping and her cheek's are not flashing red.

holy fuck this is an essay

-penis cat anon

penis cat anon double feature!!! this is the best please write me essays whenever you want <3

you're never wrong ever! abby loves giving people gifts and she's so fucking good at it. thoughtful doesn't cut it. she'll get you the necklace from the store, but also a beautiful edition of a rare children's book that you told her you loved as a kid in a random conversation two years ago. and she's usually very cocky about her flawless memory and expert skills at picking just the right thing, but with you she's questioning everything!! she gets you the necklace and she stares at it for 20 minutes thinking "is this the right one? did she even say she liked it? i went to the wrong store. oh my god what if i made it up? were we even at the mall today—"

but it's okay because when she finally lets you see it her shoulders visibly relax, pouty lips losing a little relieved breath. your smile is toothy and wide and abby's giggling when you wrap your arms around her, grinning into the kiss she gets seconds later. suddenly she remembers, she is good at gifts. really fucking good. but it's never mattered to her as much as it does now and as much as it will again whenever she decides you need another pretty thing (probably next week. at most.)

[mj-iza-writer]

idk if you take requests but like Consider this pet whump,,

A wolf-hybrid (like those dogboys) Whumpee that Whumper conditioned and trained into a lapdog but also guard-attack dog,and since they're wolf, a hunting animal, people think that they'll just attack them yeah? Wrong. Whumpee doesn't maul until commanded to.

And just meeting Caretaker, someone older yet scared of them, bc thry have a fear of wolves, and thinks that Whumpee will kill them but then Whumpee just hits with

"Oh don't worry! I'm domesticated and trained, I won't attack you :3"

Like its the most normal thing, and they have a muzzle and collar...

Caretaker also probably doesn't know about Whumper, so its even funnier

Yes I absolutely take request. Thankyou so much.

Warnings: killing, mentions of main character dying. They survive. Hybrid human wolf pet.

**GRRR**

Whumper frowned when they heard that growl.

"What is it pet?", Whumper asked while they turned.

They looked up just in time to see a gun pointed at them. The assailant? No one Whumper knew.

"Whumpee protect!", Whumper ordered.

Whumpee quickly went into protection mode. They leaped forward, then charged.

The gun sounded. Whumper heard Whumpee scream.

They watched as Whumpee continued to charge the assailant. They turned and ran inside to grab their gun.

'Why didn't I have this on me', they yelled at themself.

"Whumpee off", they ordered as they ran back out and aimed the gun.

Whumpee jumped away and fell to the dirt.

Whumper's gun went off... the assailant slumped to the ground.

"Whumpee?", Whumper stepped over to them, "shit", they frowned as Whumpee struggled to get up. Blood poured from a bullet wound in Whumpee's shoulder.

"Whumpee, I'm sorry, but that isn't fixable. You are no good to me like this", Whumper stated matter of factly, "and after all the money I've spent on you. What a waste."

"I-I thought I was your good puppy... Master", Whumpee whispered as they looked down, "you said that last night while y-you were petting me. Was it a lie?"

"No it wasn't a lie, but it's not about you being good. It's about you being useful. You can't receive rewards like being pet and receiving treats, and being on my lap if you can't serve me", Whumper frowned.

"But" Whumpee looked down sadly, "I just saved you."

"And?" Whumper looked at them with agitation, "that was your job. You did it, and now you're wounded.... useless.

Whumpee was served a final dinner. Two raw chicken breasts and a cut of steak from Whumper's dinner.

Whumpee slowly ate... they knew what was coming next.

Whumper forced a muzzle on Whumpee, then attached a leash to their collar.

"May... May I take my chew rag?", Whumpee looked over at the only toy they had been given.

Whumper nodded as they loaded their gun.

Whumper took the rag and stuffed it into Whumpee's mouth, then rubbed something on their nose before putting the muzzle back on.

The door opened... before Whumper could reach down for the leash Whumpee ran.

They ran as fast as their body could go.

"Get back here... I'm giving you an honorable death... you fucking....", Whumper yelled as they shot off two rounds after Whumpee.

"Crap", Whumper screamed when the gun only clicked.... signaling the gun was empty.

Off Whumpee ran into the trees. Completely hidden from view.

Whumpee ran for miles before remembering again that they had been wounded earlier.

They leaned up against the tree and took some deep breaths. Whumper did them in with forcing the rag into their mouth. They couldn't pant to cool off, and they wouldn't be able to drink water.

They tried to sniff, but nothing was coming through.

'What did they rub on my nose, I can't smell anything', Whumpee frowned, 'I won't survive for long. I can't hunt or eat, I can't drink. I can't even regulate my body temperature. Maybe I should have let them kill me. I'm not ready to die, I can't die. I will find someone, and I will be useful. I'm a good pup.'

Whumpee struggled to get up, they crawled a few feet and collapsed again.

"Ymph", Whumpee moaned weakly. They looked down at where the wound was, 'they couldn't even patch me up before killing me', Whumpee mumbled, 'I'm so tired.'

Caretaker, a avid outdoor lover, had wandered into the woods for some tree therapy. They just wanted to enjoy a small hike.

They had one rule... always carry a gun.

Whumpee woke up, and looked around. Remembering where they were.

They got up weakly and limp-crawled forward.

Their throat had become so dry. The rag was soaking up all of their saliva. It had also made swallowing a challenge.

Finally, they found a small stream. They tried to sniff it, but whatever Whumper had rubbed on them must have taken away their ability to smell.

They now couldn't tell if the water was safe to drink. They sat down in annoyance and looked at the water sadly.

'I might truly die out here', Whumpee whimpered.

Just then, Whumpee noticed a visitor come into the clearing by the stream.

Caretaker looked over the view until they noticed two eyes staring at them.

Caretaker looked at them wide-eyed as they took in their appearance.

They appeared to be one of those hybrid wolf pets. A few of their hunting friends had mentioned. They said they could be quite dangerous if cornered.

Whumpee's furry ears moved in every direction as they took in the situation. Their nose wrinkled as they sniffed the air to no avail.

"Where is your Master?", Caretaker lifted their gun, believing the poor person had been seriously injured or killed by the hybrid. They had clearly run away. Their leash and muzzle were still attached after all.

Whumpee cowarded away and whined as the gun was pointed at them. They looked sadly at the stranger.

The movement caused Whumpee to quickly reach up and hold their bullet wound. They looked over their hand for a split second and saw the fresh blood.

"Wait... you're bleeding", Caretaker lowered their gun, "what happened?"

Whumpee looked up at them sadly.

"Maybe hybrids can't talk", Caretaker sighed, "I feel like I should.... do you promise not to attack me if I help you?"

Whumpee quickly and enthusiastically nodded.

"Okay", Caretaker inched nervously to Whumpee. Their hand shook as they unlocked Whumpee's muzzle.

Whumpee quickly moved their head away from the muzzle and spit out their rag.

Caretaker studied Whumpee. They seemed to have a small dog shaped mouth, and as they started to pant to cool off, Caretaker saw their teeth.

"I-I won't hurt you", Whumpee whispered hoarsely, "I am well trained. I only attack when ordered."

"Where is your Master then?", Caretaker frowned as they pulled out a container of water, "are you thirsty?"

Whumpee quickly nodded again. They took the bottle as it was offered.

"Thankyou so much", Whumpee sighed in relief.

"My Master trained me as an attack wolf. Though it goes against the nature of us hybrids", Whumpee looked down at their wound, "earlier someone came onto my Master's property to kill them. I was ordered to protect and took a bullet before they could kill the assailant. With my injury, my Master was going to kill me. I received my last meal, they strapped that muzzle on me. Took it off to give me my toy", Whumpee paused and held up the rag, "they then rubbed something on my nose. When they opened the door, I made a run for it. They shot two rounds at me, but missed. They couldn't even patch me up before they killed me."

Caretaker listened, then nodded, "I-I'm sorry, I was accusing you of hurting your Master."

"It's okay. I-I wasn't ready to die. They made me work for love and attention. I was only a good pup when I did my job well. I didn't even get told that after being shot. I was just told that I'd served my purpose, and that I'd be dying", Whumpee for the first time that day let a tear fall, "I-I didn't want to die, I want to be someone's good pup."

Caretaker frowned, "I think the first thing is to get you out of here. I think I know where the lab is that creates you hybrids. My friends talk about it. I don't know where else to take you, so we will start there."

Whumpee nodded and tried to get up. They winced as weight went on their shoulder.

"Would it be better if I carried you?", Caretaker looked them over, "I think I'll be able to."

Whumpee nodded and watched as Caretaker packed the bottle, muzzle, and their chew rag into a bag. They lifted Whumpee to their shoulders and grabbed their gun.

"I have no idea what will happen if we see your Master though", Caretaker took a few steps.

"They wouldn't come out this far to find me", Whumpee sighed, "apparently I am now considered their expensive waste of time. They probably looked for a few minutes and gave up. They pretty much did me in anyways", Whumpee whispered.

"What do you mean?", Caretaker started to walk quickly after they found the trail.

"With that rag in my mouth and the muzzle, I wouldn't have been able to hunt or eat. The rag also soaked up saliva, and I couldn't pant. So starvation and heatstroke. They also rubbed something on my nose to take away my smelling abilities. Again I couldn't hunt, but I couldn't smell for clean water. So dehydration. Or you know some stranger comes across me and shoots me."

Caretaker looked at them sadly, "sorry about that."

"I don't blame you... I'm just saying. I could have easily died if you hadn't found me and showed mercy", Whumpee whispered tiredly, "I think the blood loss is getting to me again. I'm so tired."

"Help.. help", Caretaker ran into the lab.

"Woe... Woe. What's going on?", a scientist caught Caretaker by the arm. Several guards rushed to protect.

"Outside.... hybrid... injured.... needs help", Caretaker gasped for air. Whumpee ended up falling asleep again. They were unconscious by the time Caretaker made it to their car.

The scientist hurried out the door with Caretaker.

They frowned when they saw what shape the hybrid was in.

"I recognize them", the scientist rubbed Whumpee's head sadly, "I hope we are not too late", they lifted Whumpee out of the vehicle and took them inside.

While Whumpee was being worked on, Caretaker told a nurse about everything that had happened and what Whumpee had told them. They also showed the muzzle and rag.

The scientists came into the lounge where Caretaker had been asked to wait.

"I don't know how you did it... but you got them here before it was too late. We had maybe five minutes to spare before intervention would have done nothing. They need a lot of care and TLC, but I really appreciate you finding them", the scientists carried the notes from what Caretaker had said, "I've read through these. I will be pressing charges against their previous owner for their use of my creation."

"I feel so bad... I've heard so many scary things about these hybrids... I almost shot them", Caretaker frowned worriedly, "I thought they had done something to their master."

"There are a lot of people who don't understand these hybrids that I create. About the most dangerous thing about them is that they are good hunters. And a lot of people love to have them as hunting pets. Other than that, they are giant couch potatoes that love cuddling and playing with toys. It hurts that the only toy they had received was an old rag. What that person did goes completely against the contract they sign when they purchase a hybrid."

Caretaker looked at them, "what is this contract about."

"It protects me as the creator, but also the hybrid. They would have had to sit through a two hour lecture with me on how to care for one of them. The contract at the end has everything that was covered during that lecture. Some of which explains that they are not to be an attack or guard dog. They are domesticated and not made to do that type of work. You can not shoot them. Any purposefu damages done to them will be legally tried as both animal abuse and human assault. I have enough to lock them away for good."

Caretaker visits Whumpee with a surprise a few days later. A brand new toy, the first Whumpee has had since being taken by Whumper.

Caretaker is with Whumpee when Whumper comes in.

They received a call that Whumpee was found and needed to come to the lab. Whumper thought they were going to collect Whumpee, then would off them later.

They were surprised to walk in and be instantly taken by guards, then arrested by the police.

Whumpee prances out of a hiding spot as Whumper is being stood up. They smile big as Whumper starts cursing at them.

Caretaker pats Whumpee's head lovingly as Whumper is led away.

"I'll see you in court", the scientist frowns as Whumper is led out of the building.

"You're free from them, Whumpee", the scientist grins at Whumpee.

Around a month later.

"Hey, I was wondering, I've been coming and visiting Whumpee for a little while now. What will be done with Whumpee now?", Caretaker sat beside the scientist, and they both watched Whumpee play with their toys.

Whumpee stopped and looked up.

"Well unfortunately they may be a hard adoption to another owner because of the injuries and what their recent owner did to them. I don't think anyone will want a hybrid with guard like tendencies", the scientist sighed as Whumpee limp crawled to them and rested their chin on the scientist's knee, "I'm afraid they'll be here for a while."

Caretaker watched as Whumpee continued to lean on the scientist's knee.

"It's honestly a shame, these are so ready to become someone's pet. They train so hard for the one thing that they want... a loving family", the scientist patted Whumpee's head and watched as a tear ran down Whumpee's face, "they'll of course get love and attention here no doubt, but they're made to be a companion for someone, not just taken care of in a lab."

"What would I have to do to be able to take them from you, and give them a home?", Caretaker watched as Whumpee's head jumped up.

"I suppose I would need you to have the lecture and sign the contract", the scientist smiled weakly, "I won't make you pay. I will get everything I need from this lawsuit against Whumper. Are you sure though?"

"Yes, Whumpee has grown on me. I went from being terrified of these hybrids to falling in love with them", Caretaker winked at Whumpee, "I would be okay with the lecture and contract. If you're okay with this Whumpee."

Whumpee quickly nodded.

A few weeks past. Caretaker had finished the lecture and signed the contract. Their home was approved to have Whumpee live their. They had plenty of time to get Whumpee all kinds of surprises to come home to.

Whumpee was released that day. They were finally given a medical discharge from the lab. Only that they needed to keep their appointments now. Something Whumper never did.

Whumpee rode home in the back seat of Caretaker's car. They happily stuck their face out to take in the smells in the wind.

Finally after a while they pulled into a small neighborhood.

Whumpee looked out excitedly.

"This is the neighborhood that I live in", Caretaker smiled at them in the mirror, "a few neighbors are excited to meet you, but they'll give you a few days before hand to get settled."

Whumpee jumped out of the car and quickly sniffed around the yard.

They looked up at Caretaker happily, "my old Master didn't have grass. This feels so good."

"I'm glad to hear you say that", Caretaker grinned, "are you ready to go in?"

"I-I can go inside?", Whumpee studied Caretaker to see if they were telling the truth.

"Yes of course. Where you not allowed to before?", Caretaker unlocked the door and opened it.

"Only on special occasions", Whumpee shyly looked into the home from the edge of the doorway.

"I have a special surprise in the living room for you, but you can take your time", Caretaker smiled, "I know this is all so new."

Whumpee sniffed around the home for a little while. Caretaker let them adventure on their own.

Whumpee found Caretaker in the kitchen.

"How are you enjoying your new home?", Caretaker showed them a bowl, "are you hungry? I got lunch ready while you looked around."

Whumpee nodded excitedly. They followed Caretaker to some bowls on an elevated surface.

"There we go", Caretaker smiled as Whumpee started to eat.

"I'll be out in the living room right through there", Caretaker pointed, "your surprise is in there."

Whumpee looked up and nodded before going back to eating.

Whumpee peaked into the living room when they finished and immediately saw the gifts Caretaker had mentioned.

A new dog bed and several toys littered the floor. Caretaker had looked over from folding a blanket.

"Oh there you are", Caretaker smiled as they laid the blanket on the bed, "I hope you like all of this. You can, of course, be on the furniture. I'm putting another bed in my room as well. I'm waiting for it to be delivered."

Whumpee cautiously looked at all of the things. They stepped closer and sniffed everything.

"What do you think of it all?", Caretaker knelt on the floor and patted Whumpee's head, "do you like it?"

"Ye-yes Master... I've never had any of these things", Whumpee felt a tear fall from their eye, "this... it feels like a dream. One that I secretly hoped for, for so long."

"This isn't a dream, I promise. You will be so spoiled, even more than what they recommended. I'm so excited to have you here", Caretaker smiled as they scratched Whumpee's ears, "you're a good pup, and deserve so much."

Whumpee felt a tear role down their cheek when they heard those coveted words.

That night, Caretaker had pulled the dog bed onto the couch. Whumpee now lay on top of that. Their head on Caretaker's lap.

They laughed at Whumpee's snoring.

Caretaker gently massaged Whumpee's neck under their new collar.

They took a picture and sent it to the scientist.

The scientist texted back a little after.

"I'm glad you took them home... I was hoping you would ask, but I didn't want to put you on the spot like that. I thought you'd be a good fit. They look happy. Exactly how I hoped this would happen for all of my babies. Let me know if you need anything."

Caretaker happily continued to pet Whumpee's soft fur until they to fell asleep.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@3-2-whump @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @kaz-of-crows

@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @sunglasses-in-the-bentley

@isikedmyself878

[joshusten]

got my head in a daze (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Guy takes care of a drunk and obliviously sentimental Honey.

(fluff, humor, taking care of drunk character)

2.5k+ words [ao3 link here!] [masterlist]

[CW and notes: implied alcohol consumption, honey kinda gets a lil vulnerable, drunken shenanigans, swearing, geordi and cutie briefly appear at the beginning bc i miss them lol, whipped and flustered Honey, whipped and flustered Guy, they love each other so much i’m shaking, possibly OOC**, GRAMMATICAL ERRORS not rlly proofread]

—

"Thank you for calling Max's Rustic Pizza, my name is Guy, how can I– OH! Fuck! Hi! Sorry, forgot to turn off my 'work' brain–"

"Wait, what? Are they okay? Oh, okay, okay. How long will you be here?"

"Oh, cool, cool, okay. I'll meet you outside. Thanks a lot, Geordi. Stay safe."

The call ends and Guy scrambles around the apartment for a change of clothes. He's still wearing his work uniform. The stench (he doesn't really smell that bad, does he?) of sweat, basil, and, well, pizza feels embedded into them. 

Unfortunately, no matter how dashing he looks in the black polo shirt (according to what the very lovely old lady that lives across them said), Guy remembers Honey always complaining about the smell. This probably means they won’t appreciate being greeted by it once they arrive with their friend.

He opts for a simple shirt that’s fresh from the laundry and grabs a soft blanket for Honey. The nights have been chilly lately and with his burning hatred for being sick, he definitely doesn’t want his partner to experience that either, especially in their state.

The sound of tires on asphalt snaps Guy out of his fussing and he realizes he’s near the entrance of their building. He opens the door to greet the Corolla pulling up near the sidewalk. Its side windows rolled down to reveal Geordi at the wheel looking back at Cutie, who was comforting Honey in the passenger seat.

A very drunk Honey, that is.

“Psst. We’re here.” Cutie whispered gently as not to startle the very much intoxicated person currently resting on their lap. Honey opens their eyes and squints at their surroundings, letting out what Guy would probably describe as the cutest sound in existence (it really was just a whine but sue him for gushing on his partner over the simplest of things.)

“Really…?”

“Yes, really. C'mon, your escort's there," The telepath says, nudging them to look at the man currently standing outside the car wearing an oversized Star Trek shirt with a blanket slung over his shoulder.

"Es…what?" 

It was evident that the trio were trying, and failing, to suppress their amusement at how… out of it their usually uptight friend is. It's adorable, even. 

Guy lowers himself to get Honey to sit up and Cutie immediately helps him. Then, slowly but surely, the pair gently shifts them out of the car to stand up on the sidewalk. 

"Okay, there you go, hon," Guy finally balances his swaying partner (or at least, how balanced one can be while inebriated). "Thanks a lot. Can you guys go home safely?"

"Yeah, no need to worry about us! Cutie's just a lil tipsy but Honey's the only one actually affected by how much of a lightweight they are," Geordi answers, wiping some fog that formed on his glasses. Guy glosses over the very endearing fact that their ever-so-grumpy partner is a lightweight to realize how cold it is outside. The blanket!

He wastes no time wrapping the soft fabric around Honey and they instantly snuggled up to it. “Woah…thanks…S’cold a while ago…” They happily said, their words slowly coming out like molasses. 

Guy chuckles, averting his gaze from the peaceful smiling face of their partner to Cutie’s shit-eating grin. “Thanks again. I’m glad they didn’t get themself into trouble.”

"No prob, Guy, really. Though I am not gonna miss how much they were raving about their wonderful boyfriend throughout the car ride. No matter how cute it was, that was still 30 minutes I can’t take back. I don't need to be a mind reader to know they can’t wait to see you.”

Geordi lets out a few snickers that make Guy wonder if there was an inside joke he wasn’t getting. He dismisses the thought, Never mind that! His Honey was being all mushy! About him!  That leaves him blushing, cheeks hot with a small smile growing and Honey quietly observes the man beside them. They amusingly think their strange escort looks enchanting when flustered.

“O-okay, then! Welp, get back home safe!” Guy waves a hand, the other around Honey’s waist tightened to keep them on their very unstable feet. “I’ve got my very drunk paramour that’s in dire need of some tender loving care to attend to." 

The couple waves them goodbye as the side windows close (with a scandalized “Geordi!” accompanied by a playful slap coming from Cutie despite the aforementioned man keeping his mouth shut though, shortly right after, he bursts into a fit of giggles.) Guy really doesn’t get how they both seem to communicate without sharing any words between them but he shrugs it off for now. He has more pressing matters to deal with.

“C’mon, Honey! Time to get you in our humble abode!" Guy begins to guide their partner to the entrance and opts for the nearby elevator instead of the stairs. He definitely doesn't want to risk any possible accidents from that.

They were both quiet for the whole three stories up. Guy worries about how exhausted Honey must've felt with how they were leaning on his shoulder, eyes closed as they breathed softly, almost snoring. Cute. 

The journey to their unit was surprisingly quick. Guy takes out his keys after gently shaking the bundled-up figure beside him. "Hey,” he whispered, “We're here, sleepyhead."

The door opens and so do Honey’s eyes, blinking out any weariness that weighed on them. They stride over to the couch with the short-lived confidence of a drunkard, leaving the man holding them surprised. They don't remember walking being so difficult. Why was the ground so…move-y all of a sudden? 

Guy's eyes widen as he realizes Honey is out of his grasp. They managed to take a few steps before he could see their movements getting sluggish again. "Woah, hey, hey! Slow down, let me help." He takes hold of their arms to balance them as he gently set their partner on the couch. 

“There ya go,” Guy smiles, kneeling down on his knees to help them out of their footwear that has probably grown uncomfortable. However, the moment he starts to take off their shoe, Honey's foot jerks back. They have their usual annoyed expression but something seems off about how they look at him.

“Hey, back off! I have a… boyfriend, y’know?”

. . .

What.  

"What?"

"Look, dude, thanks for… bringing me up here but I'm gonna…wait for my boyfriend, okay?"

Holy shit, they're fucking wasted.

"Honey, it's me," Guy insists. No doubt the real, very much existing live audience he always monologues for would find this situation hilarious if he wasn't desperately trying to take care of his partner without them freaking out.

"Ha-ha, okay, man, you’re really cute and shit but I want my boyfriend here, not some random fucking guy!”

Despite literally rejecting him in their drunken stupor, his grumpy darling of a partner still makes way for his heart to flutter. How the hell is he going to handle this when some simple flattery from them leaves his mind reeling? “But I’m not some guy! I am Guy!” He sees that the statement confuses Honey’s already muddled mind some more. At moments like these, Guy wonders what in the ever-loving fuck his parents were on when they decided to name their child like that. 

The man backtracks, "Look, your…boyfriend is a lil busy right now. He’ll be back soon but he told me to take care of you while he’s gone, would that be okay?”

Honey squints their eyes, and their foot slowly sets itself back on the floor. “Hm. fine…but don’t pull any moves on me, got it?” They pointed a threatening finger at him. “I like my boyfriend a whole lot and I don’t want him coming home to some bullshit, you hear me?” 

Their strange escort smiles wide and Honey is suddenly overtaken by the instinct to cup his round cheeks, as if it was second nature. Honey shakes their head. There’s something about this man, they just don’t know what, but he makes them feel…weird.

“You got it, boss!” Guy beams with a mock salute before untying the laces of their shoe. After a few moments of comfortable silence, he decided to speak up. “Y’know, that must be one lucky boyfriend. You seem to be fond of him.” He means it. He really is lucky to have them in his life.

Honey looks away with furrowed brows, mumbling softly, “I’m the lucky one…”

“Hm? What do you mean?” Guy tilts his head to the side. Well, that got him curious.

“He’s… he’s really nice to me, even when I’m not.” The urge for Guy to rebut was strong but he decided to shut the fuck up for once to let them continue. “He acts goofy as hell most of the time, too. Like some fucking gremlin or something…”

Their eyes meet and his breath hitches. They’re beautiful.

“And he makes me feel really, really good. He asks for kisses all the time and he cooks me breakfast and his voice sounds so nice in my ear even when he talks a lot a-and he makes my stupid heart feel stupid warm when he looks at me with those pretty eyes like–” They pause to take a breath. 

“Like I’m actually enjoyable to be around.” Honey’s flustered. The heat practically radiates off of them as they lock their gaze on the floor. “He's stupid handsome too, it’s not fair! S’like he got it all!” 

They pushed a finger up to the man’s lips in an attempt to shush him (They also ignore how pleasantly soft it feels against their skin), "But don't tell him I said that!" 

Guy merely chuckles to mask the reality of how fast his heart is beating right now. Fuck, if he keeps getting these sweet compliments from a blushing Honey in such generous amounts, he might actually pass out. Definitely not a bad way to go. He awkwardly cleared his throat, noticing that they were expecting a reply from him, “I-I won’t. I promise.” They seem satisfied by that, crossing their arms as they avoid his eye contact again. Guy racks up his mind on what to do next, his thoughts currently in disarray no thanks to the overwhelming affection he’s receiving. “How ‘bout you go wash up and change your clothes so we can get you to bed, hm?”

Honey nods, and allows the man to guide them to the bedroom (not without a sharp “No funny ideas!” from them and a giggly but reassuring “Of course, of course!” from the man). Guy makes sure to leave the bathroom door open just in case something happens as Honey sloppily brushes their teeth while he prepares some sleepwear for them. 

Once they were done, Guy stepped out of the room to give his partner some privacy and brings back a glass of water with some painkillers to leave by their bedside table for tomorrow. He waits outside the bedroom door, knocking one, two, three times, “Can I come in?”

After hearing the soft “Sure” from inside, the door creaks open to reveal their Honey, clad in pajamas, lying in bed. He sets the pills down and inches the glass toward their lips.

“Hey, don’t sleep yet. You gotta get hydrated first.”

Guy notices they were a bit more compliant, probably too tired to try intimidating him with…their boyfriend. After a few sips, Honey yawns, their head gently landing on the fluffy pillows surrounding their drowsy state. The fatigue was really catching up on them, allowing slumber to take over easily. 

In their dreams, they swear they feel a warmth caress their skin and a soft, fleeting pressure on their forehead.

“I love you.”

–

The first thing Honey hears through the headache is the sizzle of the omelet that Guy is currently giving out a performance to in his rendition of a song he’s playing on his phone.

The man turns off the stove, expertly sliding the dish on a plate placed nearby while still shaking his hips to the music. He continues his singing, oblivious to the fact that their partner is currently observing them with a grin despite the pounding in their head.

“He’s a semi-aquatic egg-layin’ mammal of– AH!” Guy almost drops the plate the moment he notices someone by the hallway. “Honey!” 

They wince at the sudden greeting and Guy sheepishly smiles at them as an apology. “You wanna eat? I cooked some eggs.”

“That would be nice, thanks. Sorry for interrupting your…Disney Channel concert.”

Guy dramatically gasps, setting down another plate in front of where Honey sat at the table. “That was not just some Disney Channel concert! It’s my Phineas and Ferb playlist! That was a serenade to Aphrodite, an angel’s choir! That show’s soundtrack contained the very secret chord that David played! Receiving the highest praise from the greatest minds of our time, including, but not limited to, yours truly! I can’t believe you would slander the artistry of–mmph!” 

He smiles in the kiss and he tastes the fresh mint in their mouth. They brushed their teeth again before coming here. Had they planned to kiss him all along? They pull away, dragging a needy whine from his lips. Fuck, the day hasn’t started yet and they’ve already got his heart pumping. A good morning indeed.

“Okay, okay, I get it, you menace!” Honey lets out a giggle that has Guy taking back everything he said. His taste in music is definitely their laugh. “It’s too fucking early for you to be monologuing like this.”

They smile again and he knows it’s a joke, especially after everything that they’ve confessed to under the influence a few hours ago. He smirks mischievously, “Oh? That’s not what you said last night~”

Honey raises a brow, their fork with a piece of the beaten egg stopping midway towards their mouth. “What, did I do something stupid?”

The man excitedly scoots his chair near them, “Hm, what was that about my voice sounding so nice in your ear?” Honey squints their eyes in confusion before they widen, the foggy memories from last night coming back to them. Heat rapidly rises to their horrified face, much to their smug boyfriend’s delight.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Or–how did you put it–me being stupid handsome?”

“Guy, please–”

“Oh! Or what about making your heart feel stupid warm?”

At this point, Honey hid their face in Guy’s neck, playfully slapping the arms wrapped around their waist.

“You’re an asshole.” Their words held no heat and were less mean considering they came out muffled from their significant other’s shoulder. The latter simply laughed.

“To be fair,” Guy whispered in their ear, “You make my stupid heart feel stupid warm too.”

Honey sits back up, more flustered than ever and Guy relishes the view. His lover muttered a quick “Fucking dumbass.” before kissing him again, considerably more tender than the last.

-

-

- “Gitchee, gitchee goo means that I love y– OW! Ow, ow, ow! Okay, pausing the playlist, going back to the romantic mood!”

---

i rlly like this fic!! idk the idea of a flustered tsundere honey was just so delicious AND GUY GETTING EQUALLY FLUSTERED BC EUEUEUFHSDKFHJ HIS BABYHONEYDARLING IS BEING SO MUSHYYY LMAO again tho, feel free to leave me feedback!! whether it's a grammatical error or how true/consistent i am to the characters, it will always be appreciated!! have a nice day/noon/night!! >:))

[billyjoecobra]

JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

[youremyheaven]

What are your thoughts on men with prominent Venus nakhatras? Ngl, I feel from personal experience that Purva Phalguni men have an inclination to be more promiscuous compared to other nakshatras 😂 Do you feel Bharani and Uttara Phalguni are similar as well?

my FAV question 😍bc I'm a Venusian men connoisseur, enthusiast and expert 😤🤭

God has given me the exquisite privilege of having known many Venusian men and women and let me tell y'all 😍I love them😍 this is gonna be a bit of a storytime as well so buckle up.

Fair warning, these experiences are a bit of a mixed bag 🤧😤

1. Purvaphalguni Moon guy, super duper sweet, would bring me chocolates, drop me home in his car whenever I asked?? just all around super considerate?? he always did that tall guy thing where they bend forward a little bit to hear you better and idk it always made my heart skip a beat 😌he once saw me argue with a guy and he intervened and then also told me to let him know if this other guy ever gave me trouble (im really into this kind of performative masculinity 😌) he always defended me in front of others?? and always took my side and made me feel comfortable. he asked me out one night and confessed that he had a thing for me for 5 years (i been knowing but I played it cool 😎) but then got all pervy and said he wished I was in bed next to him??? 🤮🤮🤮Imagine waiting 5 years to confess and then u fkn ruin it like that ??? Gave me the ICK big time. I stopped talking to him, 6 months later, he texts me again and says he misses me and wants to ask me out again and I was seeing my ex at that point so I told him I'm seeing someone else and he said ?? it doesn't matter ??? 😭😭 and that he's never ever felt this way ever before and that he wanted me to think this over ??? (I never texted him after that)

2. Purvaphalguni Moon man in his 30s- I worked with him a few years ago. He was super shy and kind of awkward but extremely intelligent and good at what he did. He was married and had a kid. He always gave me mixed signals?? one day I was working with him and it was just us and he said that he's been intrigued by me since the first day and that he usually never initiates conversation with anyone but really wants to talk to me (he seemed genuine and he legit did not speak to anybody there and he had a very warm gentlemanly demeanor so none of this sounded creepy to me) and he told me that I seem very different from everybody else and I was like 😏😏but then he said "you seem to carry a heavy emotional burden" and I was like 😳😳how u know that and I said (we were talking in our mother tongue and I said this using very formal language??) "I don't deny that" and he responded (in similarly formal language) "Even if you do, I won't believe you" and trust me y'all my heart was 😭😭😭he always helped me?? always did little things to make things easier for me?? even when we weren't directly working together, i could always tell he was watching me?? He always indulged me?? I remember how I'd do something stupid and look at him with a 🥺🥹poor me kind of expression and his face would soften and he'd help me out in a very warm genuinely sweet way?? the first guy I mentioned was also like that, the eyes chico, they never lie

3. My ex had Venus atmakaraka so I'm gonna include him 🤪

Y'all the man was obsessed with me. He'd come all the way over to my house, just to see me stand on my balcony 😭 he came all the way over to my house to give me a love letter he wrote for me?? He knew I loved dark chocolate so one day out of the blue, he bought me a big bar for no reason?? along with a book because he knows I love to read 😭😭he loved giving head 🤪i associate being a giver with Venusian men ngl and he always told me he was so fond of it. He always video called me bc he missed seeing me and whenever we went even a little while without talking on call, he'd call me and then say "God I missed your voice, please keep talking, I just want to hear you" 😭😭😭and he'd buy me little gifts 🥺 and we'd do this thing where he kissed me all over my face, even on video?? like I'd point to my forehead and he'd kiss that, then cheek, other cheek until my whole face was covered. I have a lot of moles all over me and he remembered them all and he'd give kisses to them as well 😭😭😭he always told me how pretty I looked and whenever I got shy, he'd do these cute hand gestures that you'd do to coo a baby?? and he'd say "awwww ur sooo cuteee when ur shy" and give me kisses 🥺and he always told me how he wants to see me make art etc and he'd call me after every therapy session to know how it went 🥺🥺 a million things were wrong with our relationship but all the goodness i associate with Venus tbh 😍

4. my Purvashada Moon male friend

he was in a relationship when i was friends with him but again, he was sooooo fond of me 🥺I was chilling with his gf once and he ran up to us with a DSLR and took pics of me and not her?? (I always felt like he didn't enjoy being with her but this moment really cemented that) he always included me in everything and he loved it when I'd make my jokes or tease him or whatever,, I'm the type of person who loves to be taken care of and he was the kind of guy who loved taking care of people,, he was always gentlemanly and sweet and would compliment me randomly?? again, he's never been a creep to me but I always felt awkward about how he seemed to treat me better than he treated his gf (he ended up cheating on her and breaking up with her so 😬😬)

5. Bharani Moon failed talking stage

He was super duper sweet. Extremely gentlemanly and considerate. One thing I've noticed is that all these Venusian men have complimented my voice/said they love to listen to me talk. I used to sing this man to sleep ya'll 🥹and he always said I put him in a trance?? lol? One time I told him that I'm such a boomer and I only know how to use my phone to text and make calls and he said "that's all you need to know cause if you need anything else, you have me" (for context: he was a software engineer) he helped me set up my LinkedIn??? one day we were on call and he asked me "oh the xyz internship you mentioned, can you tell me more about it?" and i thought it was a general question and i started yapping and he did that with my other internships and finally he said, "okay check your WhatsApp" and he had sent me a summarised bullet point list of everything??? and he said "okay now just copy paste this to LinkedIn" and i was so shook?? lol, he stayed on call with me until I was done, i asked him a million dumb questions and he was patient af and literally held my hand through the whole process (setting up a profile is really not that hard at all, it's just filling up a bunch of stuff and he was helping me out with that) after things ended between us, we spoke one more time and he said "I made xyz dish" (a dish that I had told him was my fav and which he didn't know how to make and promised me he would learn) and i was like "why?" and he said "because I was thinking of you and promised you I'd learn to make it" 😩😩😩😩i s2g these Venusian men really know how to get into ur heart bc wtf

6. Bharani Moon, the guy who I think might be my twin flame

First of all, UFFFFF he was obsessed with me. For over a year, he'd just follow me around like a lamb and stare. Even after he asked me out and I said I wasn't interested, he still didn't give up??? he seemed so obsessed with me , it was crazyy, he told me he just wanted to see me and talk to me (I don't know his personality at all but getting those texts kinda creeped me out but maybe he was as genuine as all the other guys?? 😶 Idk) he was always so intense?? like he never shied away from expressing his interest in me, i never expected him to be so forthcoming lol. he came all the way to my uni for no reason than to see me not once but TWICE 🥺🥺wish i could've interacted with him offline to gauge his personality bc based on how he was on text and call, I was put off by his intensity

edit:

7. bc i remembered another guy who was a Purvaphalguni Sun, Purvashada Moon

he was super sweet to me, he always wanted to talk to me, we'd spend hours talking and he always complimented me, he always asked me if he could bring me snacks??? and he lived like half an hour away and he always said "yk you just have to call and ill be at your door" whenever i spoke about wanting to travel, he'd always say "i'll take you" (i had known of him for a long time but we'd only been talking for a few days so i thought it was too much and kinda gave me the ick???) and he was always just doing THE most and then he got super pervy which made me uncomfortable. i told him off for it and he said sorry and then literally in the next conversation when i asked him "what are three things you'd want to do before you die?", he said 2 things and then said "you" and i was like 🙄🙄and he said "dont hold it against me, im a dying man" ICKKKK anyways we stopped talking lol

im actually only now realising that ive had less than positive experiences with Venusian women lol lmk if you want me to talk about that tho 😶

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

barely comprehensible ramblings under the cut, also spoilers for dune messiah

Figuring out in my head (with close to zero knowledge about nuclear physics & i'm too scared to research it because it scares me, your girl couldn't even watch Oppenheimer ok) how the stone burner in Dune Messiah works/what the hell it is. This likely will not make any actual sense, science side of tumblr please don't eat me.

What we actually know about it. 1) it's a weapon "powered by atomics" (what?) that is somehow barely legal within the in-universe laws surrounding atomic weapons 2) it "emits J-rays" (wikipedia did not elaborate) 3) it has just enough power to fuck up eye tissue of anyone in the vicinity but not enough to destroy skin, bones etc. The explosion itself like, levels an entire block of buildings though so there's that. Also, if "given too much fuel" it can also destroy an entire planet?

What we/I can infer from Dune: Messiah. 1) It's portable and at least somewhat concealable, or else the Tleilaxu not checking spelling on that i'm tired wouldn't have been able to sneak it into the city correct? 2) there are different "settings" or at least different fueling levels that can alter the level of destruction

What I'm not at all clear on: 1)what it actually looks like?? I have zero idea what I'm supposed to be picturing 2) how it's activated. Is it like a firework where someone's gotta run in and light it and then back the fuck away? is it remote controlled? is it a missile? no clue 3) similarly just...how it works?? clearly there's some kind of nuclear reaction going on but there seem to be suggestions that something external is going on too...once again I know Nothing about atomic weapons in our own world let alone this fictional sci-fi one but. it feels like it doesn't make a lot of sense ya know.

And honestly...it doesn't matter that much? I joke but I really don't mind that it's this sort of weird mysterious thing that isn't fully explained in the text. But I remain a very visual person, and it bugs me that I don't know what I'm supposed to be imagining. Also, I wonder how the hell they're going to depict it in the third film, assuming they do so, because while being deliberately vague about a piece of Weird technology can work in a book...in a visual medium that's a lot trickier.

(I've more recently wondered if Denis won't actually have a stone burner be a thing at all...while I'm convinced that, no matter how far from the book they might stray, they'll stick with Paul going blind, I almost wonder if they'll have it happen in a way that's similar but easier to explain just to get rid of the uncertainty around the tech?? Though I hope not bc I want to see what he comes up with)

So my conceptulization of it in my head as I was reading it, was like. Not something that probably makes any sense but I thought it was a cool visual and so tried to rationalize it??

I imagined something of a cross between a firework and a gas camping stove. Bear with me. I pictured something sort of tube-like in shape and a couple feet tall that houses...something radioactive. The "J rays" are the radiation that's released prior to the explosion itself and are somehow "inactive"/somewhat benign to begin with. Then then some kind of "spark" is set off remotely, and ignites at the top of the "radiation bubble", causing a chain reaction of ignition that "activates" the bubble and causes an explosion that remains within the specific radius and also causes the radiation to become dangerous.

So we have the hissing sound of the radiation "leaking" before the explosion, followed by the visual of the ignition spark rising slowly into the air and then sort of exploding downwards. Sort of like a weird firework. I am aware this is not at all how atomic weapons work.

@fuckyeahisawthat coming back to tag u in whatever the hell this is...

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hi!!

I don't know if you've already done something like this(if so you can skip this), but I'm curious how you think Tangerine would comfort his partner who downplays their own pain because of how easily he handles his own.

Have a great day hun! Yer so wonderful <3

hii bb!! omg I love it!! thank you for requesting, hope you like it angel💌

READER THAT DOWNPLAYS PAIN AROUND TAN.

sooo im thinking..

there is no fooling this guy, nothing gets past him. and I do think that he often knows things about you before you even know them yourself/ or without you having to say anything. like that mf just knows you so well it's literally disgusting

it doesn't matter what kind of pain it is. he just knows. cramps? migraine? bad back? earache? broken nail? sore throat? tummy ache? anything. and no matter how well you hide it (or think you do) he'd still notice it. it could be a subtle face pull or an uncomfortable noise when you move - he'd know

starts with an "alright?" and if you don't reply properly, it goes to a "hm?" but he can tell when you lie, so he'd try again. "what's up with you? you okay?"

and bc i love this shit, you do a quick nod and then pull a face immediately after bc the motion caused you more pain. and then he comes closer and says "liar," he's gentle with you, eyes scanning you, sorta thing. "what's the matter? what hurts?" then you reluctantly tell him the source of your pain. then he says "should've told me right away, you div," (btw it sounds like he's talking hatefully, but he's really not, I promise. he's being sternly affectionate (maybe it's an english thing?))

he has the answers to your problems, all you need to do is tell him and he'll have the trick. bag of frozen peas as a compress? his special work kit of plasters and bandages? really fucking good painkillers from his secret work stash? heating and cooling pads?

and while he's helping you with the issue, he's next to you, touching some part of you - arm, hand, knee and he'd ask you why you couldn't tell him straight away, and you say how you were embarrassed or something about how he's always in pain, and you didn't want him to think you were being a baby

he shushes you, telling you that's not true. he never wants you to shy away and downplay your pain. he wants to know how you're feeling. "you tell me right away next time, yeah? no more of this high and mighty shit," then he kisses you bc he's cute like that, and waits/cuddles with you until the pain has subsided. "when you hurt, I hurt. let me help you." (fucking kill me)

[manicplank]

The Color Pink (Part 10)

Uhhh this one took me a while to get to bc my brain went on vacation.

Hazel had been on cloud nine since her last date with The Noise. Even though it had been days, it felt like it all happened yesterday. For some strange reason, life felt completely different. She found herself smiling a lot, especially when she thought of him. She was itching to see him again, but she didn't want to seem clingy. However, she couldn't seem to contain herself. It had been so long since she felt a love like this, and she wanted to cherish every moment. She paced back and forth as she waited for their usual 7 o'clock phone call. The phone rang, and she picked it up without hesitation; "Hi, Theo!"

"Hey! How-"

"We should go on another date!"

He chuckled. "Eager, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry," she laughed nervously.

"I mean, I don't disagree."

"Great!"

"What were you thinking we do?"

"Um... I didn't think about that."

"I don't have any ideas."

"Hmmm..."

They went silent for a minute.

"Oh!" Hazel said, "I got it! Why don't we go stargazing? There's an opening in Picnic Park where you can see the stars!"

"How... How does that work?"

"What?"

"How can we see the stars when we're in a tower?"

"I don't know. I try not to think about it too much, it gives me a headache."

"That's fair."

"Do you maybe want to do it tonight?"

"That's a little short notice. I'm also kind of tired."

"Right, right, right. Sorry. I'm just excited to see you."

He chuckled again. "It's okay. If you want, we can do it tomorrow night, though."

Hazel hummed in thought for a minute. "Oh, yeah, that actually works out better. I'm not opening the cafe tomorrow."

"How come?"

"I want a three day weekend. I need some time off."

"That's understandable. I do that every now and again. I can set my own hours sometimes. It has to be approved occasionally. There was one time I took a week off because I just didn't feel like going to work."

"Really? That sounds... nice."

"It is, but I got so behind. It was bad. So yeah, that's why some of my extra days off need to be pre-approved."

"I try not to take too many days off. I guess it really doesn't matter much since I don't get a lot of customers."

"Hey, what did I say about that mindset?"

"I know, I know. I'm just saying. As much as I enjoy The Vigilante's company, it gets a little tiring hearing him rambling on and on about justice and this and that."

"Ugh, you deserve an award for dealing with him so often. I can't stand that guy."

"He's uh... He's an acquired taste."

"He suuuuucks!"

"Oh, be nice."

"That's not really my thing."

"Mhm, okay. I call bullshit."

"Yeah? How come?"

"You're nice to me."

"Only to you."

She let out a small giggle. "I believe that."

"I hate to cut it short, but I'm feeling really tired. I'm probably gonna make some food and head to bed."

"Okay. What time do you want to meet up tomorrow?"

"How about 8 or 9?"

"Why so late?"

"I thought you wanted to go stargazing."

"Oh! Right!" She laughed.

"Okay, well... Goodnight, Hazel."

"Goodnight, Theodore."

-

Hazel had suffered through the anticipation of the whole day waiting for their date. The day went by so slowly. She felt as if she was stuck in waiting mode. She got ready in something casual. She left her hair as was. She put on a cute pink Hello Kitty t-shirt with some straight leg blue jeans and white sneakers. She felt that she had been overeager to see him, so she wanted to dress to impressive. Play it cool, she thought.

She called a cab and headed down to the Gnome Forest. She walked over to Picnic Park. She saw some goblins that looked unusually like The Noise. She actually thought one of them was him, but when she called to it, it didn't respond. When she got to the park, she saw The Noise waiting for her. He was wearing a black t-shirt with a yellow bomber jacket and blue jeans with black Vans. He ran up to her and picked her up with a spin. She laughed as she held on to his shoulder.

"Hey," she spoke through laughter.

"Hi," he chuckled. "I was waiting for you." He put her down softly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late."

"No, no, I got here kind of early. We didn't specify whether we were meeting at 8 or 9 so I got here at 8."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing! It's not your fault."

"Okay, okay." She giggled. "Here," she grabbed his hand. "I'll show you where the opening is."

"Heh heh..."

"What?"

He snickered. "Nothing, it's just the way you said that."

She smiled and shook her head. "You have a dirty mind."

He cackled as she tugged his arm. They came to a small area of grass. Above them was an opening in the trees that showed the night sky. Amazingly, the stars were bright and abundant. There were so many of them, which was funny considering they were inside a tower. Hazel looked at him and smiled when she saw him looking upward. "This is the spot I was telling you about."

"Yeah," he looked at her. "You weren't kidding."

"I mean, I haven't been here in a while. I really don't have to. If I want to go stargazing, all I would have to do is look at you."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Stop... I'm not that famous..."

"Are you kidding? You're like the most famous person in the tower. I think more people know you than Pizzaface."

"Whatever," he poked her, and she giggled.

Hazel sat down and so did Theo. They laid down slowly and looked up. The sky was pitch black, decorated with sparkling stars of white, red, green, and blue. The stars in the tower were so different from the stars outside. They had all sorts of different patterns and shapes.

"I remember," Theo spoke, "when I was a kid, we went to a planetarium as a school field trip. It was really cool."

"I went to one, too," Hazel responded, "my school did the same thing!"

"We got to see space ship equipment, pieces of space suits and meteorites. Then they took us to this dome room where they had all the stars. They showed us the constellations and told us their backstories."

"Really? I didn't get that experience as a kid."

"Yeah. The only constellation I can still spot is Orion. You can only see it during the winter. Well, it starts in the fall, and that's how I know winter's coming."

"That's really cool! I don't know where the constellations are. I only really know what they're called."

"I'm surprised no one's made up constellations for the stars in here."

"We could make some."

"Yeah, we could, but I'm not the most creative."

She looked at him. "Really? You, not the creative type?" She was very sarcastic.

He looked at her and laughed. "I guess I am, but not when it comes to constellations."

"Let's test it out." She pointed at a few stars in the shape of two squares. "How about that one?"

"Uhhh... A book, maybe?"

"Or nerdy glasses."

He chuckled. "That one kind of sucked."

She slapped his forearm. "Be nice!"

"I am!" He laughed.

She sighed, "I guess you're right. Two squares isn't the most impressive thing in the world."

"Hmmm..." He pointed at some stars in the shape of an asterisk. "How about that one?"

"Mmm... I don't really see anything."

"It's a flower." He grabbed her hand and traced the pattern with her finger.

"Oh! I see it now!"

He snickered. As she continued to stare at the stars, he turned his head to her. He observed her and how pretty she was. He scanned her from her head to her toes with a smile on his face. He was completely enamored by her. This beautiful girl lay beside him. He thought about how he was originally flirting with her out of lust, but quickly, he fell for her. He had never met anyone quite like her. She was so kind, upbeat, and outgoing. She brought out a side of him that he didn't even know existed. She turned her head to him and noticed him staring.

"Hi," she spoke.

"Hey," he replied.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I don't know."

"You sure?"

"I... Heh, I don't know that either." He chuckled nervously.

"I have to ask you about something you said."

"Oh?"

"It was, uh... something you said when you were drunk."

His eyes widened, and his heart sank. "Oh..." He didn't remember what he had said to her.

"You told me... Well, you told me that you liked me."

"..." He stared at her in bewilderment.

"What did you mean by that?"

"Oh, well, um..." He looked up at the sky and gulped. "I, uh..." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Hazel... I like you. I like your eyes. I like your smile. I like the way you talk. I like the way your voice sounds. I like how you get excited over the smallest of things. I like how you squeak and hop around when you're happy. I like that you're resilient and don't give up when things get challenging. I like that you're authentically yourself no matter what. I like it when you come around, and I like it when you're there. I like that you treat me like a normal person. I like that you worry about me, like when it was raining and you were worried I'd get sick. I like that you're a bit assertive with me. I like that we call and talk on the phone every day. I like how soft your hands are, and I like when you let me hold them. I like it when we hug. A-a-and I liked it when we kissed. I like that you make me nervous but you also make me calm.

I like you, Hazel. I really, really do."

Hazel was smiling with tears in her eyes. "Wow, Theodore... That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

He sat up. "I just," he sighed, "I don't want to rush things. I don't want to get my heart broken, and I surely don't want to break yours. I guess, in a way, I'm afraid. I already feel like I don't deserve you, like you're too good for me. You're such a genuinely sweet and good person, and well... To be honest, when I first met you, I was only flirting with you to get lucky. And before I met you, I was basically an alcoholic. I drank before work, after work, in the morning, and before bed. I stopped drinking as much once we started talking. I'm still working on getting my drinking under control. I'm short-tempered and nasty. There's so many horrible, horrible things about me that you haven't seen yet. So many things that make me feel like I shouldn't be doing this with you." Theo sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye.

"Theodore, look," Hazel sat up, scooted next to him, and gently grabbed the side of his face to make him look at her. "I like you, too. I like how nervous you get. I like that you're pushing through that nervousness for me. I like that you care about me. I like that you try to help me out with my business. I like that you make time for me when you're so busy. I like your smile. I like your laugh. I like that you're so silly and goofy. I like that you're truthful with me. I like that you told me about all that.

But you know what I don't like? I don't like how hard you are on yourself. I don't like that you seem to think that you're such a horrible person. I don't like that you see all the good things in me but none of the good things about yourself. There are bad things about me, too. Things you haven't seen yet. Things that you're probably not going to like, things that I don't even like.

I think you're good enough for me. Matter of fact, I think you're even better than that. Come here."

She pulled him in for a hug. He sniffled again and shed a few silent tears into her shoulder. She pulled back to see that he was crying. She put her hands on his cheeks. "No tears," she said ever so softly. "I like you, too. Okay?"

He nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay."

She hugged him again and rubbed his back. She felt his whole body relax in her arms. He felt her shiver slightly and pulled back.

"Are you okay," he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little cold." She smiled and shrugged.

He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Here."

"Oh, no, no," she tried to stop him.

"No, you're cold."

"But you'll-"

"Hazel." He looked her in the eye. "You need this more than I do."

She smiled and blushed as she put her arms through the sleeves of the jacket. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I have a pretty good cold tolerance. I'll be fine."

They laid down side by side with their hands clasped together, their fingers intertwined. Hazel felt incredibly warm and safe with his jacket around her. She leaned her head on Theodore's shoulder as they continued to stargaze. They continued to point out silly shapes they noticed in the stars and gave them even sillier names. As the night continued on, things got quiet. Theo got a little concerned. He looked over to see that Hazel had dozed off on his shoulder. He smiled and snickered. He nudged her gently with his elbow to wake her up. She slowly picked her head up. Her eyes were squinted with confusion.

"Hey," he spoke under his breath.

"What happened," she muttered.

"You fell asleep."

She shot up. "Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

He sat up and laughed. "It's okay."

She covered her face in embarrassment. "I'm not usually up this late." She huffed. "I'm usually in bed super early so I can wake up early for the cafe."

"Do you wanna go home?"

"No! I mean, yeah, but..."

"Want me to take you home?"

"No, I'll call a cab this time. Thanks, though."

"Come on," he stood up and held his hand out. "I'll walk you to the street."

She grabbed his hand, and he helped her up. They walked slowly through the park with their hands held. Hazel was so flustered, she couldn't believe she fell asleep on him during their date! Theodore thought it was absolutely adorable that she felt safe enough with him to fall asleep on his shoulder. He wasn't at all mad. As they strolled towards the street, Theodore stopped her and leaned on a tree. He grabbed her other hand and held both of them.

"Why are we stopping?" She was incredibly confused.

Theodore's heart was racing. His legs were weak and felt like they could give out at any moment. With a nervous smile, he asked,

"Hazel... Will you be my girlfriend?"

Hazel's eyes grew wide and she gasped.

"Oh... My... Gosh!!!" She jumped up and down with her hands still in his. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YESSS!!!" She let out a small squeal before she yanked him into hug, still hopping around and giggling in joy. When they pulled away from the hug, she grabbed the back of his head and kissed him deeply. She started to giggle and hop around again, her hands on his shoulders, his hands on hers. Her cab pulled up, and she looked at it before kissing him again.

"I have to go," she said with a giant smile.

"Yeah. I'll see you."

"Bye!" She pecked him on the lips one more time. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Go home, go to bed." He pat her on the shoulder as she ran towards the cab.

He watched her run off with a giant smile on his face. She couldn't see it, but his face was beet red. He was so happy she said yes. He couldn't believe he finally worked up the courage to ask her. After the conversation they had before, he finally felt secure enough. He was a bit anxious, but he had to take the chance. And he was so glad he did.

That night, Hazel had trouble sleeping. She was suddenly struck with energy and excitement after he asked her out. She paced around her bedroom for a good hour before she settled down to sleep. She realized she forgot to give him back his jacket in her fit of exhilaration. But it was so soft and warm, and it smelled like him, too. She finally laid down, falling asleep while wearing his jacket.