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doubleshotofsomething · 5 years ago

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Publicity Stunt

Part Four

[Part One<-- Find here]

Warnings: Swearing as usual. Trigger warnings??( just to prepare you, so be prepared). I think thats it??

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader is a fixer/Pr and longtime friend of Pepper. Post-endgame.

PS: Thank you guys for the support and feedback, your kind words are music to my ears(eyes bc i read them) and i cant explain how much it means to me. Thank you all so very much xxxxxxx

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You stood on the tarmac as the Quinjet landed. Your personal assistant, Jonah, had arrived a few hours earlier and met the Avengers at the Senate hearing. You weren’t a fan of court procedures, any more than you were of politicians, so you sent Jonah – along with the lawyers you trusted – to the courthouse to ensure everything ran smoothly. Clint was a bit anxious when you told him your assistant was replacing you, Wanda refused to leave unless you were going with them, and Bucky spent the entire time asking about your male assistant.

“You planned this whole thing but you’re not showing up?” Clint argued, eyes flashing with betrayal.

Wanda agreed with him. “This is your thing! If anyone can convince people to do anything they don’t wanna, it’s you!”

“I’m not one for damselling—” Sam stopped pacing and took a breath- “but you’re turning me into one right about now.”

“This, Noah, person you were telling me about—” Bucky practically shoved the laptop in your face, a picture of your security’s supervisor stared back at you, “—he looks like a registered sex offender.”

You rolled your eyes, fixed the search, and pulled a picture of your assistant. You turned the laptop back to him and faced everyone else. “Jonah is a qualified attorney, and the team of attorneys that will be representing you are the best DC has to offer. You are in great hands.” You tried to reassure them, but your absence was clearly something that they weren’t okay with.

“Noah looks like Rumlow.” Bucky scowled, staring too closely at the screen. “He looks like Rumlow’s Hulk brother.”

“Looks like Drax’s long lost brother,” Sam added, peering over Bucky’s shoulder.

Clint joined in, clicking a few buttons and nodded. “He looks like he eats Senators for breakfast.”

“You work around Rumlow?” Bucky looked back at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Every single day, you spend time with this guy?”

“Jonah.” You corrected.

“He looks like a registered sex offender.”

“That’s not what sex offenders look like,” you scoffed, “you’d be surprised how many suits and ties are actual sex offenders.”

“Rumlow Noah is wearing a suit and tie.”

“Bucky, his name is Jonah,” you looked at him pointedly, “and it would do you justice if you remembered that. He’s a nice kid—”

“-registered sex offender—”

“—and he’s really good at what he does.” You glared at him for a moment longer before looking at everyone else, “I wouldn’t trust this part of the job on anyone else. He’s good. He’s great, and his team of attorneys are sharks. You—”

“Why do we need attorneys?” Clint asked, looking away from the laptop. “I thought this was a senate hearing.”

“While you’re at it, ask her about the security team of registered criminals she has on speed dial.” Bucky muttered, scrolling through more pictures of Jonah.

“What?” Wanda practically cried; eyes wide with panic.

“Oh, for fuck sake—” You inhaled deeply, “—the attorneys are for back up and the security is for the attorneys.”

Bucky, because he’s Bucky and his natural instinct is to make things difficult for you, scoffed. “It’s to get us out of there in case this is a trap.”

“A trap?!”

“Barnes!”

“Did you know Rumlow Noah had the third highest grade score in his class?”

It took far longer than expected, than necessary, to get them onto the Quinjet and to the hearing. Bucky was still attached to the laptop when he boarded, Clint was satisfied that you weren’t sending an intern with no experience, and Wanda was contemplating using her abilities on you. But, eventually, they departed for the city and left you with enough time to do your job, make a couple of phone calls and listen in on the senate hearings.

You weren’t a rookie, you had Jonah wear one of his bugged suits. This was the senate, after all, and you had to be ready for anything they could pull.

Jonah was a large man. His build caused controversy in the courtroom, juries thought him intimidating and witnesses found him unapproachable. His voice was far too deep, his face was far too intense, his looks were too menacing. His presence alone had scared witnesses into committing perjury, a few simple objections had caused him fines from contempt, juries ruled against his clients because of his daunting appearance.

Jonah was a very large man, but where others saw a beast, you saw brains. He was far younger than you, he had graduated from high school and law school far too early, and he was ready to make a difference. He could recite every word in the constitution, poke holes in the most ironclad of nondisclosure agreements, he could tell you all about each crime and how to elude being charged with it. The kid could get away with a Presidential assassination in broad daylight if he wanted to. But he looked like a Mafioso and appearance is everything in DC. So, when he lost a case – a case he should have won – you walked up to him and offered him a job.

Personal Assistant is what you both called his title, but he was much more than that. He was the reason you were good at your job.

“I’m guessing it all went well?” You raised an eyebrow at Jonah, the rest following suit.

Jonah simply shrugged, handing you a folder. “That shouldn’t even be a question.”

“Shit hit the fan.” Clint sighed.

“I’m making a list.” Bucky grumbled, idling a few steps away as he continued with his face shoved against the laptop.

“He pissed everyone off!” Wanda glared at him, “how is that not supposed to be a question?”

“Jesus—” Jonah rolled his eyes, dark brown glaring down at Wanda. “—you really think that was supposed to end well? It’s a senate hearing, with a bunch of powerful that were in the room with, arguably, people that are far more powerful than them. Your abilities, your avenging, everything about you already pisses them off.”

“What was the point of all that then?” Sam questioned, staring at Jonah like a lion ready to pounce on its prey.

“To piss them off,” Bucky added, shoving the laptop at you. “This is Rumlow’s classmate. She’s married, graduated top of her class and lectures at an Ivy League law school.”

You took the laptop and closed it shut. “The point of all this was to prove to everyone that the whole case is biased, that the entire senate – along with the accords – was based on the simple fact that they are biased.” You said, handing the laptop to Jonah’s anticipating hands and walking back inside.

“If we could prove bias to the general public,” Jonah continued as they all followed, “we could dismantle the entire case against you.”

“Sounds like a sex offender thing to say,” Bucky grouched, earning a warning look from you.

You placed the laptop on the kitchen counter, telling Jarvis to seal off every entrance to anyone without residential clearance. The rebuilt Compound was larger, but with less floors, the design was a unique mixture of every Avenger’s taste, except it was more of an armoury than it was a home. Each room had a secret compartment of weapons, and an exit route that led to either the garage or the woods, and the security system seemed to be engineered to withstand a nuclear war.

You had already set up a seating arrangement for them, their absence helped in getting a couple of things done, and you waited as everyone took a seat.

“Everything, from here on out, is gonna be war.” You looked at all of them, hating the next words that were about to leave your mouth. “The whole media stint where I had you kissing babies and walking dogs, helping the needy, all that was just for the cameras. All that was just the first phase of what’s to come next. We can’t win against the Accords, we can’t win against a hundred and seventeen nations. But the people can.”

“This was never about public image.” Wanda stated, bitterness coating her words.

You shook your head solemnly. “You pissed off a lot of powerful people. They don’t care about who you are or how good your intentions—”

“They care about controlling you.” Jonah interjected. “The accords are the perfect example of that, and that’s why I had to piss them off.”

“You didn’t have to do anything.” Bucky growled at him.

“The UN ordered you shot on sight,” Jonah fired back, glaring at him, “that’s illegal and the exact opposite of what they’re supposed to be doing—”

“—Jonah had to rile them up, I told him to do so. Senate hearings are televised and public record, we needed it to have the highest ratings possible.” You added, “because, now, the senate hearing is going to turn into an International court case, where your charges will be presented before you and the court. Testimonials and all that jazz, basically the same bullshit that the Accords doesn’t afford you—”

“—which is illegal and violates a shit load of rights.” Jonah interrupted.

“From that moment forth, we present our case to the world.” You completed, eyes lingering a bit on Wanda for a moment longer.

“We’re gonna lose and go back to the raft.” She said, too sure of herself for your liking.

“The people won’t let us.” Bruce chuckled softly, shaking his head at you. The wheels were turning in his head and the pieces were finally fitting together perfectly. “That’s why you spent so much time on our public image, why you started an uproar in a senate hearing.”

Sam’s shoulders dropped at the realisation, the picture finally becoming clearer. “You’re evil.”

“I’m efficient.” You corrected, “and I don’t like losing. I don’t like it when good people are wronged, and I really hate the government enough to defame it.”

“The economy is gonna suffer, international relations are gon—” Bruce started, but you were not having any of it.

You scoffed. “The accords are a pretty way of saying slavery, so I don’t care.”

“Uh—” Bucky raised his hand slowly, “—call me old fashioned, but I’m really confused here.”

“We’re going to lose to the UN,” Wanda said, turning to face him, arms folded and face twisted in spite. “But she’s going to start a civil war within all nations, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it because people love us, and she made them think the government is evil.”

“You’re evil.” Clint mimicked Sam’s words. “You’re worse than the government.”

“Someone has to be.” You acknowledged, unashamed and unbothered.

You knew what the job description was when you signed up, and you knew the kind of soulless monster you were going to have to be when Pepper called. You left DC behind, a town of vultures, to defend people that weren’t accustomed to those vultures. It wasn’t just DC’s most elite politicians you were going against; it was the entire country; it was the entire world – nations with resources to the disposal that you couldn’t even begin to fathom. First world countries, with the means to make you disappear without a trace, second world countries with the power to make your death seem natural, third world countries that had lost far too much to care about moral code.

To win, your only weapon was to start a world war.

To succeed, your only strategy was to make the people fight it for you.

You weren’t dumb enough to think you could win against world nations. But you were smart enough to know where to hit for fatal damage.

“We’re about to face the world and call their leaders a bunch of criminals,” You finally said. “Clint, I had Happy fetch your wife and kids, they’ll be here in a few hours. Scott will be here as well, with his kid. The compound is the safest place they could be, right now. Until this is all over. Until—”

“—until they’re no longer at risk of being held, by the government, indefinitely.” Jonah added for you, “because we’re not idiots to think they’re safe in their own country. They can and they will be used against you.”

“You’re saying our government would arrest minors for crimes they didn’t commit?” Rhodes, for the first time since he sat in the room, spoke – disbelief cloaking his face.

“I’m saying they arrested Wanda, Clint, Scott and Sam for not signing a contract.” Jonah, a man you trusted with your very life, fired back without missing a beat. “Because that’s what this—” he waved the accords in the air, “—this sad excuse of a law that will never stand, is. A contract. Not a law that has been enforced, not an amendment, and definitely not legal. So, yes, I do strongly believe that a government capable of forcing an Army experiment, which resulted in the Abomination – the same government that violated Bruce Banner’s constitutional right; by illegally searching all his belongings without a warrant – is capable of arresting minors for shit they didn’t do.”

“He can tell you all about the rights and laws that the existence of the raft violates,” you said, “but that’s gonna require a shit load of coffee and a lot of ‘I told you so’s’ from Ol’ man Rogers. And that’s not something we’re all ready for.”

Wanda sat up quickly, gaining everyone’s attention. “Wait,” she examined you, something finally clicking in her head. “Those rights apply to Americans and I’m Sokovian."

You shrugged. “I pulled some strings—”

“—made an argument that you couldn’t be eligible for death penalty for treason, in this country, if you weren’t a citizen—” Jonah added.

“—because then that’s gonna be a whole international dispute, and you would be handed over to your own country for the trial—” You nodded.

“—and, man, do we hate not having blood for blood.” Jonah sighed, shaking his head. “I could name a couple of states that want your pretty little neck attached to the adios syringe—"

“—and no country is a fan of those international disputes. So—,” you pushed the green file, you had placed on the table, towards her. “—you became a citizen the moment I walked onto the compound.”

“Which makes you eligible for the same protection as everyone in this room.”

“Pure evil.” Rhodes gaped at you, completely awed.

“We can’t stop the Accords from happening, but we can sure as hell change it. From this day forward, you guys must do everything I tell you, word for word. You’re a team, what you do and how you act will affect all of us. I know what I’m doing, and I need you to trust that; trust that I can, and I will, get you through all of this. You don’t have to trust me, but you can rest easy knowing that I don’t start wars I can’t win.

“I may be evil,” you breathed, straightening your posture and making sure to look every one of them in eye. “But I’m the kind of evil you need, right now.”

There was pregnant pause, an eerie silence encompassing the entire room. “’Til the end of the line.” Bucky voiced softly, his ocean blues capturing yours in a gentleness you’ve never known.

“We’ve come this far,” Bruce said, nodding in agreement to Bucky’s declaration.

Sam shook his head. “We’re so screwed,” he whispered to Clint.

Pepper didn’t know your plan.

The whole thing was going to be hard enough as it was. You had arranged the empty rooms into guest bedrooms, Jarvis was rather helpful in that department, you had him direct the Avengers’ loved ones to their designated rooms. You made a list of things for Jarvis to inform them of – the basics of the compound and the PG rated reason they were there – and made sure to stock the place with every single necessity you could think, that they would need.

She would disapprove of it.

Asgard was already on standby, in the unlikely case that the Compound was compromised. You had asked their current leader, Valkyrie, for the assistance and she was more than ready to help. The Avengers were dear to Thor’s heart, so taking in their loved ones for protection was something Asgardians were more than happy to do.

She would hate you for it.

Wakanda was on standby for extraction as well. In the event that the Avengers would need an escape route, Nakia – a woman that was very pleased to know about your plan – had promised to help in any way possible. She, too, was not a fan of politicians imposing their agendas under the false pretence of enforcing the law.

“Woah, woah, woah—” Bucky gripped onto your arm, pulling you into a slow jog then a stop, “—slow down there, doll.”

You were struggling to catch your breath as you pulled your arm out of his grasp, wiping your forehead free of sweat with the sleeve of your shirt. You fanned your face, trying to find something to lean against, someplace to sit, somewhere to breathe. Because, damn it all to hell, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t think, and it was freaking you out.

“Y/N…” Bucky called out, gripping both of your shoulders and turning you to face him, “Y/N, come on, look at me.”

It’s too hot. Dammit, why is it so hot?

You tried to push him away, worming your way out of his hold, but that only succeeded in him tightened his grip.

Let go.

Molars grinding, hands fisted, you ducked out of what felt like an ironclad grip and backed away from him. You just needed to think, that’s why you went for a late afternoon jog alone, to think. The compound was too crowded; too many voices for you to focus, too many smells, too many distractions. Your room was no better, it was big enough to be a master bedroom, but it felt small – why did it feel so small?

When did it get so dark?

You tried sitting outside, thinking that fresh air would do the trick. But Bruce and Clint and Jonah were outside, talking about something… you were close enough to hear, you think you even made a comment… What were they talking about?

“Come on, sweetheart, look at m—hey, hey, I need you to look at me.”

Go away!

You just needed to think. You rubbed your throat, continuing down your path – it was your path, right? – and tried to swallow down the dryness. You must have been jogging for a while, it was getting difficult for you to see or focus on where you were going. You tried blinking, alternating between rubbing your eyes and your throat, hating that you didn’t bring a water bottle with you.

What were you missing?

“Y/N—”

Why was he still here?

You just needed a second. You just needed to look at things clearly, for his sake, for their sake. Just a second. That’s all you needed.

Safehouses were sorted, because you could never be too safe. Black folders were ready, because you could never trust the other team to play clean. Everyone’s loved ones were accounted for. So, what were you missing?

Think about Morgan.

That annoying little twinge snapped at you, in you, spreading across the left side of your chest. You didn’t even like children, so that shouldn’t even be a thought. It shouldn’t have been a thought coated in Pepper’s voice.

This is exactly why, you thought, this is exactly why I don’t mix work with friendship.

You stopped walking when you could no longer see where you were going, reaching out to find the nearest tree. You couldn’t even hear your own footsteps as you did that, you couldn’t hear anything except the loud thrumming in your ears.

There was something in the distance, some sort of movement maybe – couldn’t be sure, you chose to pass it off as nature and focused on catching your breath. Your muscles felt tense, you blamed it on the jog – because you’re a walker, not a jogger. Your lungs were aching and each gasp for air seemed to not be enough, every deep breath you tried to take felt like it was twisting your chest.

You felt something crawl up your arm, an unwelcome heat that you recoiled away from, moving away from whatever it is. You mind shouted spider and you didn’t hesitate to speed walk away from the pest, but it wouldn’t stop clinging to you, pulling at you, dragging you back with its callous clutch.

You went to flick it away with your other hand, dread settling into the pit of your stomach. “Get off me,” you couldn’t recognise your own voice, drenched in trepidation as your hand tried to swat away at the thick-skinned creature.

Another one gripped at your hand, pressing it to your chest as you began to heave in an unadulterated panic. The iron grip on your arm moved to your back, unconcerned by the fight you were putting, and you were forced into something hard.

“Shhh,” Bucky soothed, wrapping an arm around your writhing figure whilst moving his other to stroke your head, “it’s okay, just breathe.”

This wasn’t you. This couldn’t be you. His shark, his girl, his little darling, his sweetheart couldn’t be the one that tried to fight him off. You couldn’t be this shivering wreck in his arms. No… it couldn’t be you.

But it was you. He could tell it was you just by the sound of your footsteps, so he followed the sound through the trees until he found you, taking a path he knew you’d never been on before.

His shark was shaking in his arms; he could pick you out in a dark room by your smell alone, and your disorientated steps struck an intrusive feeling in him, the kind he’d felt after the snow.

His girl, in the dark and alone, too scared to even let him hold her. This couldn’t be the woman he fell in love with, could it?

“Focus on my voice, I know it’s difficult, but—” he took a breath as he tightened his grip, “—you just need to breathe. Okay? Breathe with me, doll, in and out, slowly—”

He felt you tense, felt as your thrashing turned to uncoordinated twitching, felt as you tried to focus on what he was telling you to do. It took a while before you could mimic his breathing, he didn’t blame you – figured you were just realising what was happening, and even then, your breathing was off.

“That’s it,” he praised, “that’s my girl. You’re doing so good, darling, just keep focusing on my voice—”

You could barely make out his voice, the cloud in your head was too much, but the quick thuds that were drumming against your hand – each one strong as the other – pierced through the disarray. You moved away your hand, having been placed there from your attempt to push him away, and pressed your forehead against the area, forcing yourself to focus on at least that.

This wasn’t you. This didn’t happen to you. But here you were, in Bucky’s arms, hating yourself for letting this happen.

One sense at a time, your own voice rang in your head, that’s how you’ll get back control.

You shut your eyes, tapping your finger to beat of his heart, choosing to focus on your sense of touch first – not that it was a choice. Your first instinct was supposed to be listening, but your disarrayed mind ignored his voice, and went straight for the feel of his heart against your hand. The muscle beating against his chest, something you couldn’t hear, was the only thing you were capable of recognizing in that moment.

The thrumming managed to soothe away the ache in your chest and your feet, the feel of something soft and damp pressing against the crown of your head repeatedly managed to help cool you down, all that was left was for the slight stinging on your throat to disappear – but water could fix that.

You can’t do it all at once, Stark. You remember telling Tony, his panic attack had rendered him speechless, the first of the few that had. Divide and conquer, just like I taught you.

He had listened, focused on your instructions as you helped pull him out of the deep, then pretended he had it all under control – that he could have managed just fine without your interference. You laughed, accustomed to his humour, knowing it was only a defence mechanism, then told him about how it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. You told him that it was a normal thing, a reasonable reaction, to the horrors he had seen. You told him, insisted, that it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about because it happened to the best of us.

You didn’t think you’d have to tell yourself that.

Best of us, never included you.

You were the one that got people through them; helped them cope, taught them the little techniques that they benefited from.

You never thought you would have to use them on yourself.

Next Part

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melancoryphus · 4 years ago

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50 Questions You Have Never Been Asked

i was tagged by @loverofelves :3c thank u <3

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

black, nothing special, my mom got it from a dollar store for me bc my old one was literally falling apart but i refused to replace it

2. A food you never eat?

the only thing i can think of that i would probably not eat even if that meant it gets thrown away is steak, or any cut of red meat. i have a lot of trouble swallowing it for some reason. most other foods i hate i would still rather eat than waste them

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?

theres no really comfortable temperature for me i think. im always either too warm or too cold. but since i spend most time in my bedroom which only gets sunlight for about 4 hours a day, im usually too cold

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

painting with watercolours and listening to music

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

i avoid sweets so i dont really know the different breeds of candy bar

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event?

ive participated in a few swimming tournaments when i was younger and a friend dragged me to see an ice hockey match a few years ago

7. What was the last thing you said out loud?

'hey’ at my cats because they were climbing my shelf....

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

not really a flavour, but strawberry sundae, with real strawberries and white chocolate... theres nothing quite like it

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

tap water

10. Do you like your wallet?

its a huge black leather wallet. i wanted one like this really bad when i was like 14 yrs old, now i kinda think its too big. but i like that it has space for all kinds of clutter like cards and pictures... i want to say i feel neutral about it but considering how long ive had it im probably at least a little attached

11. What was the last thing you ate?

a small bowl of plain oats with milk for breakfast

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

no... im saving my money for useless things rn!

13. The last sporting event you watched?

im really not into sports so whenever i watch sports it i dont do so deliberately. uhm. i think biathlon was on tv one time a few months ago when i visited my dad

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

i like it when its sweet but not so much that your fingers get terribly sticky from it

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to?

my dad probably

16. Ever go camping?

yea i went camping w my dad a lot when i was younger, almost every summer for 8 years. im mentioning my dad a lot here. we are not as close as one might think

17. Do you take vitamins?

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

no im too pretty

19. Do you have a tan?

no, but my right arm is a bit red from sitting on my balcony too long yesterday

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

depends entirely on my mood, i dont have a general preference

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

only when i want to act like a slut which is never

22. What color socks do you usually wear?

i usually wear black tights

23. Ever drive above the speed limit?

I CANT DRIVE AND I NEVER WILL and if you drive above the speed limit thats +5 on your sin counter. i will know

24. What terrifies you?

those scary creepypasta images, communication, and anything unpredictable. also the possibility that jjba part 7 will be animated entirely in cgi

25. Look to your left what do you see?

a manga panel of dio i traced and taped to my wall, a bunch of jjba prints, and a tiny sticker of diego

26. What core do you hate?

if this is about music... i actually dont even want to spell out the name of that genre, thats how disgusting it is. its got to do with anime

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

that time in like, 7th grade, where english class was mostly about learning australian vocabulary

28. What is your favorite soda?

i dont drink soda im so scared of the liquid sugar but like cherry or vanilla coke probably

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through?

i dont ever go to fast food places, but if i did id hit the drive thru. inside its too loud and i hate when people can watch me eat

30. Who was the last person you talked to?

in person... my dad i think

31. Favorite cut of beef?

its all bad

32. Last song you listened to?

all the fools sailed away by dio (the band with real life people in it)

33. Last book you read?

der unsichtbare apfel by robert gwisdek. im still reading it actually im just too busy to finish anything rn

34. Favorite day of the week?

saturday of course!! although last night there was someone in front of my window at 3am who screamed for two seconds for seemingly no reason. this stuff doesnt happen on weekdays

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

no and im self conscious about it

36. How do you like your coffee?

black!!

37. Favorite pair of shoes?

my dr martens mary janes... easy to get in and out of... simple... cute... whats not to love. theyre starting to fall apart tho bc i wear them all the time

38. At what time do you usually go to bed?

between 9 and 11 pm

39. At what time do you normally get up?

between 5 and 9 am

40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets?

emotionally, sunrises bc sunsets remind me that the day is over and my time has run out... but aesthetically, sunsets

41. How many blankets are on your bed?

two, one weighted and one normal

42. Describe your kitchen plates?

plain white... super boring and i hate them but i used to live with a minimalist and tried to be considerate to avoid conflict

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

rum w cola or pina coladas, but i usually avoid alcohol. makes me feel like a soggy sponge and so sleepy. hate it

44. Do you play cards?

no all card games are bad!!

45. What color is your car?

i cant drive

46. Can you change a tire?

i cant even consider learning how to do it

47. What is your favorite province?

*nods*

48. Favorite job you ever had?

i hate jobs and careers and i would sooner let myself get exploded into a thousand pieces by impact with a speeding train than take up a job again

49. How did you get your biggest scar?

i was 15, in a really bad place mentally, and tried to make a point to someone... uh oh!

50. What did you do today that made someone happy?

this question is guilt tripping me

#abt me

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dontyouhearmehowling · 5 years ago

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oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

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ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

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ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

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theoi-crow · 5 years ago

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Hey! i don't know if you care to answer this so feel free to ignore but i was just wondering how you met your partner? i'm a sucker for a good love story as i am amidst my own at the moment, y'all two remind me of my own relationship and i'd love hearing a bit more about how y'all met!

Hi!!!

Oh my gods this question made me smile as soon as I saw it! I also showed it to Sky who blushed and was being super cute so thank you for that! 🥰

WARNING!!!! Get ready for the sappiest thing I have ever written in my life and because I'm a sucker for this, I'm adding GIFs to really give you a sense of my feelings!

Before Sky (@skylerisgay aka @delicatestar <- spiritual blog) came into my life, I had no desire to be with anyone. I had an "I was born alone so I will die alone" kind of motto.

As I got older I wrote a REALLY LONG letter. In the letter, I described the kind of qualities I wanted a life mate to possess and then I lost it.

Before losing my letter, I held it close to my heart, closed my eyes and made my wish to whichever god was listening (I will later learn Aphrodite was with me that night.)

Years past and nothing happened but I felt this confidence deep in my heart that assured me my person was out there. My family and friends even insisted I start dating but I refused because in my heart of hearts, I knew my person was looking for me too.

Then one day I had this OVERWHELMING feeling to get back into a fandom I used to be obsessed with.

I had ANOTHER OVERWHELMING feeling to create a role play account on Twitter (of all places) and search for roleplay friends, which was weird since prior to that I had never roleplayed before.

That's when I came across Sky's account.

I felt an arrow go through my heart which was odd given that their roleplay account had no personal information whatsoever. Everything described the character they roleplayed. Even the icon they were using was the same being used by 20 other roleplayers.

There was nothing that told me anything about this person and yet I felt this electricity sparking my soul. My heart kept screaming "it's them! It's the person I was looking for!" So I sent them a message in character, followed them but they never replied.

I then convinced myself the feeling of being shot by Cupid's arrow had all been in my head.

I found a roleplaying community and continued roleplaying. Life went on.

I met and had been roleplaying with a different person RP-ing as the same character Sky was playing (with the same icon). Because I played a rival character, so I was used to their tweets but one day they sent a tweet that shot electricity all over me.

I looked at their username and it wasn't the person I had been RP-ing with but Sky! We roleplayed and our characters flowed well together.

After months of pretending to be characters from our shared fandom, we started talking out of character and found we had A LOT in common (even though as people, we are complete opposites).

After a few more weeks of tweeting we started texting, and then talking on the phone. We talked for hours...

But I had really bad PTSD back then and it can get in the way of relationships if not treated properly. Since I was never able to afford help for mine, there were a lot of bumps in our relationship.

Because my PTSD had a habit of pushing people away, it had convinced me I was incapable of love or being loved.

I didn't want to waste Sky's time because they were an amazing person who deserved their own happiness so I started to distance myself from them. I expected them to be okay with it but they were not going to let my fear bully me out of this relationship.

Thats when they told me about the first time they saw my tweets. "It's going to sound weird and I want you to know I'm not the kind bc of person who would say this but...it almost felt like being shot by Cupid's arrow? Like feeling electricity I everytime we interact."

As a show of trust, they sent me a picture of what they looked like, and I swear on every god I work with, when I first saw Sky my life flashed before my eyes. I saw us laughing, loving, traveling (even though I had never left my little California corner) and growing old together. It felt like I was having a heart attack.

They were coming to a convention I usually went to and I was so nervous that I had convinced myself not to go but after feeling my heart ache, I closed my eyes and could feel Aphrodite say "go for it." So I met up with them.

We hit it off in person, kept visiting eachother and eventually moved in together.

A few years later Sky was cleaning an old closet of mine when they found my very long letter (the one where I wrote the qualities I wanted in a life mate) and started to cry because...

It described them perfectly.

Sky kept the letter and read it to themselves on days when my PTSD was particularly hard.

When I was able to finally afford it, I went to therapy and worked hard with the letter in my pocket to give me strength because I believed in us and I wasn't going to let my PTSD push Sky away the way it usually pushed everyone else.

I'm happy to say that after 10 wonderful years of Aphrodite binding us together, Sky and I will be traveling Europe in a Disney Cruise to celebrate!

And that's our story!

I am also a sucker for love stories so if you are up for it, please share yours!

Also thank you so much for having me type this. I feel like Aphrodite wanted me to take a step back and appreciate what she has done and continues to do for our relationship which has been beyond my wildest dreams!

May the gods bless your happiness the way this ask blessed me!

-PS I forgot to mention that we got married back in 2013! ^^

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nintxndos · 6 years ago

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an nsfw ask meme (hide ur eyes kiddos)

I was looking through my blog and saw I answered this ask meme back in 2016 and the answers are preeetttyyyy different so I thought i would give it a go again

1. Are you a virgin? nope havent been for a hot minute now

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yes ive mentioned it to my bff a few times lmfao

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? Yeah my fucking dad (actually it may have been an sti but still)

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? nope lmfao

5. Do you swear under celibacy? nah man

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? ugh back in 2016 not a good time tbh

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex? Yeah my parents when I was 5 amd I still remember it vividly

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? yes I quite enjoy it tbh

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? the couch in my boyfriends parents house when everyone was home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? car sex bc I dont want grass in my asshole

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 14 or 15

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yes I really love it too

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too) I dont know?

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too) didnt know this was a thing tbh lmfao

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? gonna take a guess and say no

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) clitoral

18. What is your bra/penis size? 38DD

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member? yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? a boys dick ayyy

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better? rough sex gets me fucked UP (though intimate is nice too)

22. When was the last time you masturbated? uhhh 2 days ago maybe?

23. When was the last time you had sex? god two weeks ago and im dying i swear

24. When was the last time you watched porn? a few days ago maybe

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? yes i have y first was a little blue bullet and the most recent is a vibrating dildo

26. Guys: Circumsized? not male

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? thighs and neck fuckkk

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? the clit baby!!

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? nope though wow good for the ladies who can

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing? blue panties and a floral bra

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? absolutely

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions? nope

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? nope

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? nope

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? maybe a week or so ago?

36. Which wet dream was your favorite? not sharing lmfao

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? well im currently dating my best friend of 7/8 years

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? yes

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member? no :'----( I dont even wanna fuck in the shower I just want my back washed

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you? honestly i love missionary

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Fuck yes

43. Are you into any BDSM? god yeah

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? yes because we live 3 hours away 😪😪

45. Turn on's? choking, spanking, being called names, ropes

46. Turn off's? age play is a no go

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover? yes i have and since we started dating absolutely not

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex? yes like all the time the (since he lives 3 hours away)

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on? uhhh I cant think of anything right now tbh

50. Do you like dirty talk? oh fuck yeah

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? usually quiet bc i have to but I love being loud for my boyfriend

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? yeah someone came downstairs and started yelling abt something, also my bf and I were fucking on the couch and the remote fell over

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story? god my exs mom walked in right after I gave him a blow job and she was like "what are you kids doing?"

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story? bruh my bf and i were trying to fuck and we had to watch his sisters dog (like in the room) and she started trying to sniff his ass it was so fucking funny he jumped off me

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch? I dont really watch porn anymore tbh

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome) leabian for sure

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under? uhhh threesome I think

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched? dude this man had a pizza around his dick and the chicks grandpa deadass had a heartattack and she still rode him

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger? chris evans tbh (older by a hot second)

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)? I quite like my purple dildo

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex? nah

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel? nope and probably never will

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower? yes for my boyfriend anytime but not for any of yall sorry

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them? yes my bf is a fan of them

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos? no bc I have real orgasms (finally!!!)

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? yes I tell my bf and we have phone sex at least once a week

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?) yeah I kinda have to

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm? when i was 15 I was literally sitting on a closed toilet in my house bc I shared a room at the time w my sister so i had no choice

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way) nah I can do clitoral, clitoral/penatrative, and just penetration

70. Favorite type of oral? the kind w his tongue on my pussy?

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried? havent really done any strange positions

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion? not that I'm aware of

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal? vaginal i fucking hate anal

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal? clitoral

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I love being a whiny sub

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone? yes

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them? god yes that is why I usually masturbate

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? yes and absolutely not

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? yes and no

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner? not while we were dating no, but ive had sex w people who arent him

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else? yes

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's? nope though ive had a scare or two

83. Birth control or condoms? birth control

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn? not really anymore

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them? yes and not really?

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active? yup

87. Do you have any STDs? nope

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity? yeah when i was like 15/16

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"? nope never even played bc its lame

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral? I swallow if he cums in my mouth but i love getting it on my faceeee

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else? nope and yes

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? no

93. Have you ever experimented with the opposite sex? yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious? intended bc thats the only way we ever had sex unfortunately

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? nah

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity? yeah I literally called my best friend (current boyfriend)

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated? yes

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? yes!! we dont live together and we are constantly horny it sucks!!!!

99. Do you like masturbation? eh

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? nope sorry

#mine #ask meme #meme #ask #ns/fw

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petals42 · 7 years ago

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Can you please do some more Kent/chowder friendship body swap bc if you write like anything at all I will die happy

this is going to be an Unorganized Mess because i’m doing it right before bed because WHY NOT but here. [Note: You gotta have read this post first to make sense of this.]

So, like, as mentioned, I really want this friendship to develop after they switch back but the question is like... how??

In my last post I talked about how Parse would send Chowder nicer clothes (and sheets because wtf is that thread count christopher??) but i think this happened because-- wait lets go back

Okay so Chowder gets to go to the Aces/Sharks game and go backstage (not the right word for that but lets just move on) and meet people so while he is obviously ALL UP IN THE SHARKS, he introduces his family also to Kent as “and this is my friend, Kent Parson” and admist the confused stares (coming from both his family and Kent Parson), Chowder is just like “we met at Samwell!!”

And Kent Parson, who is never really referred to as a friend (more a teammate, tbh, or “ex” or “celebrity crush) has like acquired some sort of blushing instinct (he blames his time in Chowders body) because he sort of blushes and stammers (JUST A LITTLE OKAY) before finding his cool again and--

“Oh, also,” Chowder tells his little sister. “You gotta feel that inside of that sweater-- it is like SO SOFT.” and so that is actually where Kent gets his first idea to send Chowder nicer clothes (the expensive CASHMERE clothes yaknow... (sidebar: is cashmere soft? i don’t... actually know things about nice clothes))

But he doesn’t do it right away because like.. c’mon he’s not going to seem desperate here. He’s Kent Parson. He... they switched bodies for a little. Surely Chowder doesn’t actually want to... be his friend.

WRONG.

Because Chowder gets on a flight and heads back to Samwell and Kent Parson gets back to Vegas (and snuggles Kit) and THEN Kent Parson gets a text.

And that text is chirping him. Hard. For his coding notes.

“Lol. Dude. Really?? These don’t even make sense!”

“I told you I was bad at it! You’re lucky I tried.”

“It looks like you gave up halfway through and started doodling hockey plays.”

“... that is actually supposed to be some zeros and ones?? he wrote them on the board??”

“holy shit.”

and suddenly kent parson finds himself sort of smiling and laughing at his phone and he would say it is one conversation but then he gets a GOOD LUCK! text before his next game and then a bunch of texts DURING the game that he sees after and then-

Then he gets a “Remember to ice your shoulder!!!” the next day and, okay, yes, it’s weird that this guy has BEEN IN HIS BODY and thus knows that his shoulder bothers him but its also... its also nice??

So Kent Parson says fuck it. And he sends Chowder that sweater he liked so much. Because Chowder is being really nice to him and he... okay he will try to have a friend.

Note: Kent Parson trying to have a friend is a Disaster. because Kent Parson knows his weaknesses: He is bad at emotional conversations, he cannot give relationship advice, he is sarcastic and rude and-- he is not good at being Friends with someone. Chowder’s natural friendliness is something he can appreciate but has difficulty reciprocating.

But you know what he does have?

Money.

Lots and lots of money.

And no one to spend it on.

Until now.

Kent Parson cannot say “Thank you for wishing me good luck before my games” so he buys Chowder fancy sweaters and t-shirts and fashionable pants and sends them on over. Kent Parson cannot say “It is cool you remind me to ice my shoulder” so he also sends new sheets (accompanied by pseudo-snide remarks such as “so i dont have to lay on that sandpaper if we ever have to switch back”). Kent Parson cannot tell Chowder that texting him during the day has become something of a highlight but he CAN buy chowder that coding software he was going on about and e-mail him the product key and he also can get people on the Sharks to sign stuff and mail it to Chowder and, look, he knows that getting Chowder’s family season tickets to the sharks game would be Too Much (at least... right now) but he does offer them when chowder goes home for breaks.

Look, as they text more and more, Chowder puts up with his sarcastic sense of humor and dark moods and doesn’t seem to take it personally when kent just texts back ‘yeah whatever’ after loses.

Chowder is just plain nice to him and Kent does his best to follow Chowder’s complaints about school and tries to offer advice when Chowder admits that sometimes he feels torn between Nursey and Dex and their constant bickering and wishes they would both just stop but Kent knows he cannot actually be that helpful. Even when Chowder texts: “gosh its nice to have someone not involved that i can vent to,” kent knows that he is not adding to chowder’s life nearly as much as chowder is adding to his.

With the time difference, Kent now usually wakes up to a few texts from Chowder and Chowder thinks Kit is the devil but still doesn’t mind when Kent sends pictures of her and Chowder... Chowder sometimes ever so casually reminds him that he doesn’t actually need alcohol (”you could just go home dude. wanna play starcraft?”

Oh right. That’s the other thing. Chowder has got him into computer games. Games that they can play together. On the same time. Kent has never done it before and its embarassing to be bad at something but somehow with chowder its not so bad and he’s already promised that after the season, he is going to have much more time to dedicate to it and chowder thinks that they can get really GOOD over the summer and it becomes... their thing

When Nursey and Dex are driving Chowder crazy or Kent is actually free, the two log on and play some nerdy computer game shit (kent’s words. he keeps calling it that even after he admits he "sorta kinda likes it okay??”).

OF COURSE BECAUSE KENT PARSON CANNOT COMMUNICATE, he just keeps SENDING GIFTS. Which Chowder accepts at first, partly because he doesnt really know how much all this shit costs.

Nursey finally clues him in “dude, is that shirt fucking All Saints?” and Chowder is like “uh... what?” and that breaks the mystery and suddenly Chowder is like... wait a minute. this dude has sent me probably over a thousand dollars worth of nice ass clothes (and sheets and towels) all in the name of “In Case We Ever Switch Back.”

Not To Worry: At this point it is Summer Break. Which means that Chowder can just go, meet up with Kent in person and tell him that while he appreciates the gifts, kent should probably stop. They both now know not to wish on any shooting star anymore. They are probably good.

So Chowder texts Kent something like “dude im home may 22nd-- when are we meeting up over break?” and Kent gets it and lowkey PANICS because like... Chowder wants to hang out with him?? And he can’t even just take him to a hockey game because the season is over?? WHAT WILL THEY DO??

Better to stay on home turf, Kent decides. He can take Chowder out in vegas and they can hit the casinos and maybe he’ll rent a limo and-- “Im free anytime” he texts back, hoping that doesn’t make himself sound lame. “when do you wanna come over?”

And then Kent Parson is thrown for a loop because Chowder ruins his plans by saying “you should come here! i’ll show you non-hockey parts of san jose! first weekend of june?? promise no one will yell at you!!” and kent... well hes not gonna say no obviously but he... he can’t take chowder to casinos if they arent in vegas and--

“Bring your laptop” chowder says. “starcraft IN PERSON”

Look this deserves a 15k fic of its own but picture: Kent Parson, nervous, awkward, feeling a little like he did when he visited the zimmermanns except not because he and chowder are just friends so there’s less... challenge and also he has grown up a little and so its just very embarassing for him and chowder’s whole family is the nicest and he sleeps in the guest room and they just-- They play starcraft. They go see a movie. They walk around Chowder’s favorite park. They drive up to the beach with Farmer. They go to an arcade. Normal people stuff. They do normal people stuff.

And Chowder sits Kent down and is like “dude you gotta stop sending me presents like some kind of weirdass sugar daddy” and Kent does turn bright red at that one because he was kind of just lowkey hoping chowder didn’t notice but Chowder manages to make it not TOO awkward and then its just sort of a funny and Kent promises to stop (he wont really... chowder gets a new gaming computer for his birthday but kent claims that is because chowders weak ass system is affecting his gameplay but that not til later so thats okay)

MORE SURPRISING is Chowder agrees to come up to vegas to celebrate kent’s birthday on july 4th. Farmer comes for part of it (but she has work) while chowder stays for five whole days and they... they stay in kents apartment and play more computer games. chowder tries to build up kent’s tolerance for spicy food and then laughs at him when he dies. they go play hockey at the rink. they just... hang out. like friends.

It’s weird and bizzare and THEN TO TOP IT OFF Chowder (who is a wee bit drunk at this point because they aren’t just going to not drink or gamble at all-- chowder had doubled his 40 dollars today!!) says something like “do you think we can switch back again? if we tried?”

and kent (also tipsy, but just like... tipsy. not wasted) says “uh... no?”

and chowder says “LETS TRY” and kent says “why?” and chowder says “FOR FUN” and kent says “alright if you want”

and the two stand and hug and kent thinks “alright switch back” and then he pulls back

And look into his own face

Which is grinning at him.

“oh my god” chowder (in kent’s body) says. “This is gonna be so fun.”

ENDING THERE FOR NOW because i’ve got to stop writing this AU. what is this. what is my life. i don’t... i don’t even go here.

#my fic #again i dont know what this is or what my life is #kent parson #chower #parson #check please fanfiction #body switching au #they are going to use this power to get into SO MUCH TROUBLE #i guarantee it #Anonymous

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hyunjjins · 6 years ago

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*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ soft bias tag

i was tagged by @just-oneofthegays

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 1. WHO IS YOUR BIAS?

i love too many kpop boys but for the sake of this tag i’ll choose felix because im full of uwus on his behalf atm

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 2. WHAT MADE YOU NOTICE THEM?

his whole ass voice. like im pretty sure there’s a screenshot of a snapchat i sent to eli one of the first times i listened to skz asking about who he is bc of his voice (accompanied by the cliche “it doesnt Fucking match is face” whICH IS TRUE) but also yes im shit at faces so when im getting into a new kpop group theres always one member who i keep asking whO IS THIS even though ive already asked 100 times so yes. voice + face = bias

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM?

wow okay uM i love his dedication. like he can rap in korean? a language he didnt know until joining the group? and he can rap well? and hes getting so good at korean, obviously his members are helping, but everything he does blows me away bc he’s so committed to doing everything he does well and i admire that. (also his freckles and his smile are bonuses but we can talk more about those later)

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 4. WHO WOULD INITIATE SKINSHIP MORE?

him. hands down him. i’m all for physical affection but because most of my friends dont like it i dont usually initiate but i live for that shit. and he is one of the most physical people i have ever seen and i am one touch starved motherfucker so that would work out super well for both of us. except its all strictly platonic because im a huge lesbian and hes gay 4 changbin so it would be more like when @violet-hyunggu and i are in the same room for more than 3 minutes hahA

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 5. WHO WOULD HOG BLANKETS MORE?

yo idk im not usually one to use that many blankets but i can totally see lix running around with a blanket cloak on even though all he’s wearing is a tank top and shorts and there are sweatpands right over there, jesus, put on some socks you’ll be warmer

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 6. WHO WOULD BE MORE CLINGY?

have you seen felix? like ever?

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 7. WHO WOULD SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’ FIRST?

probably me but only because i have sait it about him before lmAO so it wouldnt be weird for it to just like. slip out. and i tell my friends i love them all the time and i seriously do love him i just feel like he wouldnt say it bc he would be worried he would be crossing some kind of Line in our friendship but then i say it once and hes like “okay time to shower her with Love and Affection”

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 8. WHO WOULD BE MORE EASILY FLUSTERED?

i mean idk. im taking this as the two of us being bffs so i dont think there would be much flustering involved. aside from that we’re both panicked gays so we would both be flustered constantly, unrelated to the actions of each other.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 9. WHAT CUDDLING POSITION WOULD YOU TWO HAVE?

im always a slut for the ol’ “my head on someone elses stomach while they play with my hair” but also just like any way that we could be pressed against each other would be perfect. also im a huge sucker for intertwined legs (even though his are probably a whole six inches longer than mine lol im Small)

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 10. WHICH COLORS REMIND YOU OF THEM AND WHY?

blue but like the bright blue of a summer sky when it’s midday and like 100 degrees and existence is pain but you look up and see the stark contrast of fluffy white clouds and huge blue sky and you’re like, holy shit, the universe is huge and i’m part of it. also i feel like he is the human embodyment of a blue raspberry sno-cone

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 11. WHICH SEASON WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND WITH THEM?

summer but the part of summer that is in september. idk why but thats one of my favorite times of the year and i love being with people at that time. you know like you can still get away with going to the beach if its warm enough but also fairs are starting up and it’s plaid season

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 12. WHO WOULD BAKE THE COOKIES AND WHO WOULD STEAL THE BATTER?

i would bake because i feel like felix is a disaster in the kitchen and tbh i would make them with the express intention of him eating some of the batter. you know like specifically washing the eggs so he wouldnt get salmonella and making more than i want to have for the cookies so he could have some and we would still have a good amount of cookies

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 13. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD MAKE BAD PUNS AND HOW WOULD THE OTHER REACT?

i am a pun god and he would smack me every time but it would be Worth It

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 14. WHO WOULD WANT TO ADOPT 50 DOGS AND CATS?

i have been known to look at google images of kittens and weep so i would want to but not act upon it but he has little to no self control so he would spend hours at the local shelter and send me pictures of every single animal they had and ask if we could have it (fuck now i want to write a felix-works-in-an-animal-shelter au)

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 15. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD NEARLY BURN DOWN THE KITCHEN TRYING TO MICROWAVE A POP TART AND WHO WOULD COME TO THE RESCUE?

again felix is a disaster in the kitchen because first of all. who microwaves a pop tart they are strictly a toaster food. second of all. i would come to the rescue

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 16. WHO LIKES TO LEAN OVER TALL RAILINGS AND WHO PULLS THEM BACK?

felix is a huge railing leaner and i have massive amounts of anxiety but i also love a good people watching session so i feel like i would pull him back but then join him at a reasonable angle

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 17. WHAT WOULD WATCHING A HORROR FILM WITH THEM BE LIKE?

i like to pretend to be touch but i am actually the biggest baby and so is he so watching a horror film would be a disaster. some are okay though and then its fun. but other than that we are strictly a mean girls and lemonade mouth couple

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 18. WHO WOULD BE THE CHEESY FLIRT AND WHO WOULD BE THE SMOOTH FLIRT?

i feel like i might be the smooth one but hear me out. my logic is that im smooth when its playful and any flirting i would do with him would be playful. he’s just a mess no mater what

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 19. WHO IS MORE COMPETITIVE?

me, myself, and i. i have found that i dont usually like the concept of competetion (like sports and stuff) but once i get started i am a competetive monster who cannot be stopped

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 20. WHO WOULD HAVE TO BE GIVEN CONSTANT REMINDERS? (REMEMBER TO EAT, DON’T FORGET YOUR KEYS, ETC)

him. hes a certified mess and im a mom friend but then when i forget something he makes fun of me for hours lol

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 21. WHO SENDS MEMES AND WHO SENDS CUTE ‘I MISS YOU’ TEXTS AT 3AM?

we both do. i am the queen of “this made me think of you” *weird ass picture* and once he found out that im a memer he wont stop sending me memes. and im a sucker for when someone waits until youre asleep and then sends a “for when you wake up” message. i send those all the time and i love it

okay so i tag @spear-bean and @notleefelix and anyone else who happens to see this and wants to do it uwu

#this was a lot of fun thanks eli #stray kids #tag #long post

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asmaspeaks-archive · 7 years ago

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hey im a cute and interesting anon asking you to send a message to some of your mutuals except you just tag them and write paragraphs and they have to guess which paragraph was @ them!

💌💌 Love Notes To:

@pufflejongin @1eehyuck @gojeno @mrrayl @softpcy-l @stpattysdae @1egg @1of1girls @jenos @rxnjuns @jisungshoney @citrusluhan there is a message for each and every one of you in here, you just have to figure out which one is yours. I wish you the best of luck 💗💌💫💓❣🌠🌷💞💟🌠🌻💝💫💘💕

1) To one of my favorite Chanyeol stans, thank you for always being such a sweet and wonderful person, you’re always so cute and such a joy to have around! It’s really nice to see you on my dash and it’s always so cute to read your tags they’re so soft :( and you’re so nice to all of your mutuals, you always tell everyone to have a great day or night, you always include cute messages, you always tag me in flowers you are such a sweet person i love you :(💘💗💕💕💞💞💖💖💘💘💓💓❣

2) This mutual always has some type of au going on in their blog, sometimes whenever I try to read them I get confused but it’s so nice to see you get so many anons that you enjoy !! talking with you is always really funny and nice too snkjdhfk and you’re so pretty!! banish the tag ugly much you’re a wonderful person >:( i met you through discourse and i firmly believe my standings but im glad we became mutuals even though i watched your “im an exo blog with an nct dream posts header icon n theme but im an exo blog” transformation to a “im … an nct blog” and it has been a RIDE

3) like my first shinee mutual i remember the first time i interacted with you was during exo discourse night and you made a text post like “why the hell r all the exols on my dash at each others throats over a song” [it was peter pan and lmr] and nndjkhdsfk you’re one of the strongest mutuals n people that i knew i know 2017 was less than great to you but i really hope that 2018 will be better for you ! you’re such a funny and interesting person to talk to and we both love minho even tho ur a jinki stan nsdjkhsdf

4) When you deleted I was so sad you’re one of my favorite mutuals :(( I think the first time we really interacted was when you sent me an ask for an ask game about books and i sent a reply so long it had to go on read more w book recs and everything and then when we were answering french anon :(( you’re such a sweet person and your blog is so cutely themed, with the aesthetic and the exo sprinkled in it’s really nice! i’m so glad that you remade + followed me through my constant url changes / remaking bc i really love you so much and I wish for you only the best in life ! I love you

5) Firstly I want to say congrats on the engagement!! I hope you guys live a long and happy life together 💕💕💞💞💖💗 You were one of my first nct mutuals, if not my first, and I remember kind of freaking out when you followed me back because your blog was so big and organized and pretty and i couldn’t believe??? such a big pretty blog like yours followed mine?? anyway you are such a sweet person and reading your tags about nct dream and jeno always make me smile :( he really is a cutie isn’t he?

6) my one jisung mutual ndsjkhsdfk you’re such a sweetie pie honestly! and you’re always so funny it’s so nice to just scroll through your blog and laugh nsjkdhsdf your love for spring is so cute too and i immediately associate the color yellow with you like the soft pretty yellow!! and seeing you talk about minghao too makes my heart warm :(( i love you a whole lot you’re a sweetie pie 💕💞💖💗💗💟💌💘

7) although you aren’t a kpop mutual, i really really treasure your posts on my dash, they’re almost always extremely funny and i really love :(( how you follow me even though you dont listen to kpop that makes my heart warm :(( and your love for animals makes you so sweet its so sweet to see the cute pictures of animals on my dash, you’re like a cute ray of sunshine on this dark site and i thank you for staying really positive on your blog usually!! you’re such a wonderful person and ily :( thank u my voltron mutual for sticking with me so long

8) out of all the anons i’ve ever gotten, you’re the only one who’s stuck with me for so long nkjdhsdf you’re such a sweet cute person i’m so glad that you decided to still be my mutual even though i know ur url and i love you and your love for languages so much it’s really motivating!! i wish i had as much motivation as you ndsjkhdsf you’re such a strong adorable person and whenever i see you on my dash i smile because your little hearts are so cute i really hope we can talk more in the future :(💕💗

9) ahh my first ever seventeen mutual, you are such an adorable and cute person, and your posts are always so positive and uplifting you’re like a ball of feel good interactions !! your little seventeen spams make me smile all the time ily :( you are such a strong and nice person and i’m so happy that you’re happy and in a good place !! and that you’re always there for others it’s really uplifting i love you !!! and your love for eggs but only true 90′s kids know your true love is bread 😫😫😫💗💕💗💗💖💖💟💟💟💟💟💓

10) a furry . i cant believe i went through the whole hassle of trying you in furry court for you to escape my grasp but don’t worry … i’ll try you again and get you this time, i’ve been collecting you see and at this point i have a whole folder on you in my receipts folder :) but besides that, i love rabbiting with you, your comments are always so funny i love reading them like the little mermaid or exo next door ndskjhsdk it’s really funny to see and read and you’re a funny person honestly like having you as a mutual is really interesting to the say the least sdnsdhk

11) when i first followed you, while i was going through your about page i was so interested that i literally called over my sister to read them too because it was so elaborate and interesting and idk i really liked it?? and then the first time we interacted was when you sent me an anon saying i was cute or smthn and then you rb’d one of my posts and said you were the anon and i freaked out lowkey bc thats so cute?? you’re one of my favorite nct mutuals, you really get passionate about things that you stand by and you’re so sweet to everyone and your anons r so cute especially your anons for valentines day :( ilysm thank you for being a wonderful and sweet person 💕💕💞💞💞💖💖💗💝💖💘💓💓

12) we first started interacting when you had a monsta x url, i remember that! you had a really cute tag for your personal text posts that was one of the first things that i noticed about you. talking with you is really nice and easy you’re such a nice person to talk to, and you give off so much ?? nice energy ?? it just makes it easy to laugh around you!! your love for donghyuck is so cute too it makes my heart warm :( you’re a very sweet and wonderful person and i really like talking w you !!! you’re such a talented person too!! and you’re an intellectual ily !!! thank you for always reminding me to drink water too nsjdkhkdsf ily 💕💗💖💞💞💕💗💗💝💟💟💖💞💓💘

#snail mail #anonie #ahh thank you to whoever sent this in all that time #and if you send in the ask again i'll pick a different 12 !#i love you all!!

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cicinicole-14 · 7 years ago

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so, some recent developments have surfaced, and thanks to @only-freakin-sunflowers, I ship with my whole heart, the train wreck that is roisa.

now, before I get started, hear me out. yes, I know Luisa is sometimes mentally unstable and is a recovering addict. yes I know she’s been institutionalized a few times. and yes I know rose is an international crime lord, has murdered many people, kidnapped a baby and faked her own death etc, and is a sociopath.

I know it all, but the heart ships what the heart ships. and it ships these two lunatics in love.

“in love, cici? how can they be in love?” LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU WHY.

buckle up kids, because we’re going for a ride.

as we know, Rose Solano is a sociopath. Sociopaths are “incapable of feelings such as empathy, regret, and remorse. They don’t experience emotional pain herself; thus, they can't understand the expression of those feelings in others. Sociopaths don't have feelings or emotions, nor do sociopaths cry genuinely”

so why have we seen rose saying she loves Luisa in the show? in 1.10 Rose tells Luisa she loves her in the mental institution, and again in 3.03 on the submarine in the “creepy” voice (the voice on accident because Rose says Luisa makes her nervous but wait Rose can’t feel nervous because she shouldn’t be able to feel emotional nerves because she’s a sociopath? then why can luisa make her nervous and why does she love luisa?)

there are many reasons why Rose loves Luisa and shows it. these are a few reasons how she shows Luisa how:

she’s gentle with Luisa. every caress, touch, kiss. She lets Lu kiss the inside of her wrist and she just sits there and takes it in. she is usually gentle in her voice too, always trying to sweetly talk to Luisa, and is trying to be there for her, even when we were introduced to Rose as “Luisa’s ex-friend and ex-lover” because luisa didn’t know who to call about the whole insemination thing and she called rose, who even though they were exes, she still was gentle and there for Luisa. (why though? we will get to this.)

the way that even though Rose risks getting put in jail, she still accompanies Luisa to Miami multiple times under disguises just to be with luisa and protect her. even the last two times when Luisa went to visit Rafael, her brother that rose knows treats luisa like shit and luisa still believes her baby brother can’t do anything wrong, Rose knows how important Raf is to luisa and risks her own freedom to go with Luisa, even after Luisa gives her the “are you coming or not?” line.

how, my favorite; Rose and Luisa explore BDSM and bondage. and as seen in 1.10/11 in the mental hospital, Luisa is the one to tie up rose. Rose literally only softens for Luisa. she’s a fucking international crime lord, how could you not peg her for a top/dom in bed? and Luisa this lil cinnamon roll of a person, is a Dom in bed? rose lets her just tie her up and have her way with her. Rose is completely submissive to Luisa.

and one thing that I believe happened. Remember the “email” “Raf” sent on Luisa’s birthday when they were on the submarine and she checked it and there was nothing but then rose Brought it to her after saying it was bc they were a day ahead? Um, I actually wholeheartedly believe that a. Raf didn’t send her an email on her birthday bc he’s a jerk like that and b. Rose totally wrote the email because she saw how upset it made her that Raf hadn’t emailed her and so rose wrote one and made up some weird excuse of being a day ahead so they didn’t get the email.

And with that theory above, it leads me to make more notes about roisa and how that yes, they’re a fucking train wreck on top of a train wreck, but in some twisted fuking way, Rose actually loves luisa and would do anything for her. For Christ’s sake she murdered Mutter, who was in jail, for kidnapping Luisa on her and hurting her. Mutter was in jail. she couldn’t hurt Luisa anymore. she was in solitary, but rose still sought out Mutter and killed her just for Kidnapping Luisa and hurting her. She would do anything for Luisa.

Because they both love each other even though its weird and wrong and whatnot. They love each other and rose genuinely cares for luisa. Lu is the only one rose could, will, and has ever known how to love because Luisa was the first and only person to show Rose love. (and here it is. the “why”. the reason Rose loves only Luisa.)

Rose was believed to have been raised by Elena, raf’s “mom”, and Elena was her stepmother. Well, what happened to rose’s mom? idr, but that leaves Elena and rose’s dad. Her mom is out of the picture, rose probably did something relatively bad for a kid and thinks hey I’m bad and thats why mom left or whatever. Then her dad was probs a dick/drunk/absent and Elena just was Mutter and showed her the fucking ropes to everything regarding murder and treated her like shit as well. Then lets move on. Rose is old enough to start conning men out of money by marrying them and then killing them. She doesn’t love them and she’s a trophy wife. Trophy wives are never in meaningful relationships. She never loved any of the men she wedded for the sake of money. And then came luisa, who genuinely cared for her for the first time ever. And im telling u right this fuking second. She sat down next to luisa knowing exactly who this woman was she was sitting near at the girl bar they met at. She knew exactly who Luisa alver was and knew she was the daughter of Emilio Solano. Rose is too smart to not know. So she sits down and then her and luisa start talking first. And then at this point, Because it says they met “five years ago” and then Luisa goes to a family dinner that night, fourth of July, after sleeping with rose, rose is in a relationship with Emilio. I believe that rose went into that girl bar to suss out luisa. She knew who she was. And then she talked with luisa. And It was probably the first time ever that that happened because most of her marks she probably immediately jumped into bed with but then here’s luisa the daughter of her newest mark, and she starts talking with her and rose feels different because its the first time someone has talked to her like she’s a human being, an actual fucking person. And then she didn’t intend on sleeping with luisa but she did. And like anyone else, she also didn’t intend on falling in love with luisa but she did because luisa is the only one who’s ever treated her like an actual person/with human decency. And she fell for luisa. And wow my heart h u r t s so bad.

I believe that Luisa was the first person to ever treat and show Rose with love. before her father died and after, because Luisa even says she loves rose after Rose had killed her father. Luisa continued to be with her even after she knew Rose was Sin Rostro.

and thats the reason I think Rose is able to love Luisa is because Luisa is the only person to genuinely show her the decency of human kindness and love. Luisa treats her like an equal, a friend, a lover, not a pet or something owned by someone, not a piece of property to be sold and passed on to someone else.

so yeah, they’re a hot mess but they love each other. and I love them and they hurt my little fangirl heart.

#roisa #rose solano #sin rostro #luisa alver #my precious children

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jamiedodgerart · 7 years ago

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if you're happy to tell us, i'd love to head more about ur inquisitor :00!! his debates with dorian sound fun

:DDD yeah sure! soz this is late

pica’s 1/6 of an inch tall

(im kidding. his name was originally a pun, but not a typography one - he’s a rehash of an old oc i had way back in the day, who was based off a magpie. hes actually on the short side for a dwarf, i want to say around 4′3″)

he was a lyrium smuggler before the inquisition, and specifically was the front man who sold it. he’s a champion liar and man of many faces, and knows how to disappear in plain sight (which is easy if you’re a dwarf and most law enforcement on the surface are humans. to a human guard dwarves all look the same and theyre too short to really get a good look at their faces). he had a pretty transient lifestyle- he didn’t get tied down, didn’t get too attached to anyone or anything, had pretty few posessions. he was 26 (or the dwarf equivalent of 26. hows dwarf aging work in dragon age anyway) when the carta got him to spy at the conclave, and you know how that went

look ok. the first half of his career as inquisitor was just. wingin’ it. no one really knew what the fuck he was supposed to be doing, least of all him, so he just pretended he knew what he was doing till, i wanna say the end of into the abyss. after talking to mal hawke some he learned that, hey, everyone’s always winging it, and also that his decisions kind of really mattered. (and that those decisions he makes can. kill people) for the first time in his life, he realizes hes actually important, and what he does changes things on the large scale

so after that, he got to thinking. the world kinda sucks. and it sucked before the war. and the leaders of thedas are really not doing all that much about it, except trying to kick each other in the nuts while their enemies are weak and completely forgetting that politics Cannot Survive as a practice if theres no farmers able to make food for diplomats to eat. so, orlais, if your farmland is all gunched up with battlefields, then you need to fix that, don’t you. but the inquisition is really, really good at providing stability! it’s good at establishing patrols, safe trade routes, providing local employment, and is a fairly reliable consumer of local goods. so pica capitalized on that, and quietly spread inquisition presence all over southern thedas. this led to immense inquisition influence, with very little fanfare.

you can guess why the rulers of thedas tried to get rid of him as soon after corypheus was taken care of as possible. they branded him a tyrant and like. ok. they werent like. super far off. bc at this point he was kinda trying to see how much of the world he could take over before anyone noticed/tried to stop him and also figured he could do like, a way better job at leading it than the current rulers could. and he wasnt beholden to anyone either (not like empress celene! elected to her throne by… uhhhhhhhhhhh divine providence or something. i mean shes doing an ok job but like i didnt vote for her) so if he really really wanted to he could go full dragon reborn

ive got off topic but point is he figures humans have had their go and they fucked it up, so it’s a dwarf’s turn and he’s going to put the world back together himself. (ps hey bioware can we have some dwarf stuff in the next game. im js. weve had a whole load of elf nonsense and its nice and all but dwarfs had a cool ancient society too yknow)

after trespasser he elects to keep the inquisition around, because he worked hard to make this glue keeping the bits of thedas stuck together and he’ll be damned if he’ll let solarse and his minions screw it up. but it gets nerfed heavily and hes pissed about it

he romanced cassandra! i really like their relationship- they look to each other for moral guidance. pica knows he can get flighty and relies on her to keep him in line, and always asks her for advice when he sees her in the courtyard. he usually doesn’t follow it but he feels it’s important to have her perspective on things

they disagree on a lot of stuff (like he made celene and briala co-leaders but she was in favor of gaspard) but he trusts her judgement, and supported her in becoming the divine

he’s a little weird about religion, specifically relating to the stone. the surfacer part of him that hates caves is like pff hippie garbage, but the bit that’s generations old and wants to belong to a larger whole of a culture is Super Into It. cole said he felt the stone’s presence around pica one time and externally he didnt react but internally he was yelling WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK I LIVED IN SUCH PEACEFUL IGNORANCE I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAAAAAT and after the mythal thing hes like fuck believe what you want. whatever floats your boat. we live in a world where nugs have little people hands so if it comforts you to know a god did that then live your truth

re mages he figures theres a way better way for them to fit into society than the circle. its dumb. they can LIFT THINGS WITH THEIR MINDS. USE THAT FOR BUILDING. they can HEAL WOUNDS WITH THEIR MINDS. THEY CAN TALK TO SPIRITS AND SHIT THEY CAN PROBABLY FLY WHY ARENT WE USING THIS THEY’RE WASTED IN TOWERS LEARNING TO SHOOT FIREBALLS OR WHATEVER people who fear magic are cowards. chantry more like sham-try.

hes big on research and development. he sent samson to dagna for research and in the au where mal lives he sent anders to her too. cos. like. dude COEXISTS WITH A SPIRIT. thats cool as SHIT how does it WORK.

(im gonna make a post abt the mal lives au soon. its good)

hes largely responsible but he has also impulse bought at least three stuffed dragons. also, if the textiles technology were available, hed have dragon jammies. it’s the little things in life.

he collects notes he’s found talking about him and hangs them up by his desk. his favorite is the one samson wrote calling him a damnable rogue. he says hes doing things right, if he’s making people mad

hes trans! im not sure how thatd be regarded in dwarf society, in undergrounders i doubt it’d be very acceptable given their emphasis on reproduction, but house cadash has been on the surface for generations and has probably adopted more liberal views on lgbt stuff. either way hes not very open about it, and it’s really easy to pass when he’s around humans (i get the feeling dwarves and humans look for different things, when they’re trying to guess gender. for example hes got some beard scrub, which in human terms means male but in dwarven terms probably either means very young male or unkempt female) (the added implication to this is that varric might keep his beard to stubble so he looks younger) he met krem and had an instant Trans Solidarity moment, which also comes with the Trans Fear that the person Knows that you’re trans and could out you. it’s a weird kind of trust and for me feels like that one performance art piece with the people holding the bow and arrow. anyway hes cool w krem but doesnt talk to him all that much. theyve got pretty different interests.

his best friends are probs cole and dorian! he’s very curious, and likes to hear different perspectives on things. he and dorian often play chess and discuss all sorts of stuff. they end up yelling a lot because they both want to talk but the other started saying something before they were done with their point, which they started saying before the other was done with their point, and so on. he doesnt get very far in the slavery argument until hawke starts chillin at skyhold more regularly and can adequately school him on the state of tevinter slavery (fuck i gotta make a post about that. mal’s had a lot of development since i last talked about him)

he listens very seriously to cole’s observations. he can really appreciate the input of someone who watches so much more than speaks, and heartily supported his ventures in becoming more human.

he also gets along very well with josephine and likes to trick her into taking days off. hes also always down to chat w dagna and scout harding! and varric, of course. it’s always nice to talk to someone without having to crane his neck up at them all the time

(this is the reason he doesnt usually spend time w bull. hes just too tall and its uncomfortable knowing your face is at your friend’s dick height while ur trying to discuss battle strategy)

uhh trivia, at one point i thought i’d fucked up cassandra’s romance by not flirting with her enough so i meant to go for dorian’s instead, bc while i had wanted to romance cass since uhh i dunno one of my mutuals first reblogged a picture of her, i underestimated how charming and cool of a guy dorian ended up being. so in canon i say pica had a crush on both of them for a little while

its late and i think i got mostly everything so enjooooooy

as a parting gift, this is him

youtube

#crownsnbirds #dragon age #pica cadash

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theday · 7 years ago

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tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes...

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that!

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums.

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive

2. what are you looking forward to?

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS.

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^(

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :(

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase !

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them.........

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS...

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

#tag games #moon texts #its with the s righthd hsjdhd

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

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Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think! The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger. I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it. I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe. I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork. I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

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starxsapphic · 7 years ago

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37-57 for the “these are actually nice you fucking nerd” quiz

38. favourite comedian(s) Gabriel Iglesias is the only one i actually remember the name of

39. favourite sport(s) volleyball!!

40. favourite memory PTV Misadventures Tour 2016

41. relationship status single as can be :/

42. favourite book(s) i usually go with Harry Potter (bc i read so fast i usually forget major plot points of everything)

43. favourite song ever it honestly changes every week, but im really digging Heaven Sent by Trophy Eyes

44. age you get mistaken for it doesnt happen as much anymore but sometimes 21 (im 17)

45. how you found out about your idol my middle school friends

46. what my last text message says “If im wrong im not responsible”

47. turn ons good sense of humor and music, EYES!, lip biting, corny pick up lines, being a kind human

48. turn offs being rude, bad hygiene, cant make conversation

49. where i want to be right now: the beach/ asleep

50. favourite picture of your idol

51. starsign GEMINI

52. something i'm talented at: this is lame but school

53. 5 things that make me happy: music, driving fast, sleeping, food, friends

54. something thats worrying me at the moment my physics test tomorrow

55. tumblr friends: i have like 2 maybee. I always forget to respond to people :(

56. favourite food(s) pasta and mexican food

57. favourite animal(s) giraffes, penguins, dogs

these are nice

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lesbianakaashi-archived · 7 years ago

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any haikyuu ship of ur choice 👀👀👀

NANO YOU SENT ME THIS LIKE…AGES AGO BUT I FUCKIN LOST THE FILE I WAS WRITING THIS IN ON MY LAPTOP SO I HAD TO DIG FOR IT AND FINISH IT. i hope you still enjoy some pure and wholesome kuroyaku. (it was a tie between this, tensemi, and kinkuni. rip)

How did they they meet?:

my hc is that they lived in the same neighbourhood, and saw eachother often, going to the same schools and all, but they never really met until high school. and we all know how that went

Who developed romantic feelings first?

fuckign…kuroo, definitely. theyre like “yaku is incredibly annoying and distracting with his nice face and sparkling brown eyes and nice lips and– wait fuck i like him don’t i”

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

KAI. theyre both so painfully obvious and he was quietly betting on them getting together. kenma’s a close second, but he regrets it after hearing how much kuroo talks about yaku. “disgustening,” says kenma

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

THEY ACTUALLY KISSED BEFORE THEY WERE REALLY DATING. they were arguing after practice, bc like, that was their thing, they argued. kuroo eventually blurted out something like “if you werent so hot and distracting we wouldn’t be having this problem! its not my fault i think about kissing you all the time!” (rip kuroo) and they both went kind of quiet for a minute. yaku eventually broke the silence by saying “you could’ve just told me” and stood up on his tiptoes to kiss kuroo really softly.

and then they didn’t talk about their feelings for like a month because they avoided eachother

Who confessed their feelings first?

kuroo!

What was their first official date?

they just took a walk together through the park, and hung out under the trees talking about everything and nothing. (and holding hands the whole time, even if they had to let go when people walked by)

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

kuroo’s not fond of them; they like showing yaku affection on dates, and feels awkward doing so with other people around. yaku’s neutral on them.

putting the rest under the cut bc like…its a long post

What do they do in their down time?

ok if they’re alone and have nothing to do, they basically just cuddle all day and watch movies or dumb youtube videos. they just enjoy eachothers presence, ya feel? (sometimes kuroo makes yaku model for pictures. why? idk its just fun for them)

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

yaku’s dad didn’t take the news his son is dating another guy well at all. he didn’t lash out, but he did tell the two of them that he didn’t approve and they would never really be together in his eyes.

my hc is that kuroo’s parents were generally terrible and he no longer lives with them, instead he lives with an aunt who adores him. said aunt loves yaku, thinks hes perfect for kuroo, etc.

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

they dont exactly fight alot. sure, they argue, but its pretty much always dumb shit. their first real fight only started bc kuroo was having a panic attack over something that yaku didnt understand and got mad about. kuroo kicked yaku out and told him to leave them alone. (they made up a week later. there was a lot of kissing and explanations and comforting going on)

Which one is more easily made jealous?

probably yaku tbh. girls flirt w kuroo a lot and it pisses him off bc, hello, thats HIS datemate you jerks.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

honestly, anything they don’t have to cook is great.

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

kuROO IS DEFINITELY THE CUDDLER. yaku is ok w it as long as kuroo doesnt hold him down to snuggle with him. spooning is always the fav. (kuroo is the big spoon 8 nights out of 10, but if they’re feeling particularly insecure they’ll want yaku to hold them. he never disagrees.)

Are they hand holders?

yes!! kuroo likes holding yaku’s hands bc they’re small compared to theirs and they have a bunch of little calluses and small scars and freckles on the backs of them.

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

they don’t wait long at all bc…horny teenagers. as for circumstances, kuroo’s aunt left town for a week in the summer. they were home alone for a week. they did what any couple would do.

Who tops?

usually kuroo (bottoming is honestly too stressful for them. bad past stuff yo) but yaku is actually way more dominant.

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

the first time they tried to cook together, they got distracted making out and set dinner on fire. thats one of the reasons kuroos banned from the kitchen

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

they shop together, but yaku cooks ‘cause kuroo is banned from the kitchen. they’re usually allowed to sit on the counter and read/do homework while he cooks. they can’t touch anything in fear of ruining it. (they can bake, tho, something yaku fails epically at.)

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

yaku is more traditionally ‘organized’; his room is usually totally pristine, his notes are organized neatly, his closet is seperated by type of clothing, etc. kuroo is organized in their own way; their notes are set up in a way only they and maybe kenma understand and their room is clean and things look put away but they’re really just…crammed whereever. yaku is appalled.

Who proposes?

yaku! they move in together for uni and when they’re laying in bed one of the first days they’re there he asks, in this very small, unyakulike voice, “hey…do you wanna get married?” kuroo thought they imagined it, but still blurts out “yes! yes! yes i do!” and turns over to kiss yaku. they both cry bc sappy nerds.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

they actually have neither; they have the most low-key affair. no parties.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

they really only invited their closest friends, cause kuroo was so nervous about it anyway. yaku’s best man is kai, and kuroo’s is bokuto. they task kenma with being the flower girl jokingly. he throws a bouqet of roses at both of them

Big Ceremony or Small?

small. very low-key. whats the need?

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?

yaku’s family has a beachhouse, and he takes kuroo there for their honeymoon. its pretty much the best.

Do they have children? How many?

they have two kids! a little girl with kuroo’s wild hair and yaku’s sharp eyes, and a little boy with yaku’s hair and face shape but kuroo’s eyes. they’re both spoiled rotten and loved to pieces by their parents and their parent’s friends

#yaku morisuke #kuroo tetsurou #kuroyaku #dont hate m nano #im so embarrassed this took me so long #cozmics #love letters

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