#bc I didn’t even play it bc if I can’t have Zevran with me why should I even bother with this stupid ass dlc

[irascible-iridescent]

“Oh I want to see my Warden my Hawke my Inquisitor again! I want to see my favorite Li again! Pls pls pls bioware let me see them again!11”

FOR WHAT? For bioware to horribly mischaracterize them??? To make them say something they would not fucking ever say? To make them into a 5 minute cameo and to kill them right before your eyes? Just to tell you that your past Li broke up with your character off screen and married somebody else? They will make it horrible and they wont even make their face sculpt right

[heniareth]

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

[cailansbreastplate]

my fried plays dao: part two

@eiion is playing dao again here’s some quotes (part one)

oh you are a twink okay i’m gonna be an elf

WHY DON’T YOU HAVE HIPS? you can’t birth a child with those

the warden: ‘greetings’ lio: don’t talk to me

talking about abilities stealing ?? i’m gonna get that 

king cailan: the wardens will benefit greatly with you in their ranks lio: you will benefit greatly with me in your pants

is the joining ritual joining cailan’s dick in my ass ?

“the king likes to spend time with his soldiers” i can be your soldier

alistair: “has duncan told you about me? nothing bad i hope” no he just told me how flat your ass is

walks past the hanging corpses awww, i’m sorry guys, do you want me to tickle your feet while i pass?

oh, i can’t even go in the water, i’m- allergic

okay alistair- something amazing happens when you close your mouth

sees the ogre in the tower of ishal oooh i didn’t know you were coming to thanksgiving ??

woow you’re the alpha? well i’m the sigma

god, you named your son sandal ? do you hate him ?

is zevran canonically bi ? theres no way this man doesnt have a bit of fruit

after alistair tells the warden about him being a royal bastard "lol sorry your parent’s didn’t want you and you had to keep your identity secret from the king (your brother) ANYWAYS WANNA FUCK” 

“what about a little... more personal reward” i don’t know i’m not really interested in selling my body- BUT I WILL

insufficient skill you stupid little fucking elf you are useless your pointy ears give you nothing

alright gang, we’re leaving. and dog

alistair keeps glowing bc of a status effect STOP. YOU GO STAND IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE. YOU’RE IN TIME OUT

how old is bevin? cause he sounds like he could be between the ages of 11 and 23

why is your voice so low ? your balls haven’t dropped yet ! HIS VOICE IS LOWER THAN ALISTAIR’S

i feel bad about stealing your books :(( eh i will take your knowledge

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

[mahalzevran]

DA 20+ Questions

Tagged by @antivan-surana​ thanks! Tagging @situationnormal​ @the-dread-doggo​ @acepavus​ @aroundofgwent​ @lakambaeni​ @kxnways​ @fuckbioware​ (no pressure ofc) and anyone who wants to?

The rest is under a read more because it’s long

01) Favourite game of the series?

Origins, only because you got less and less op as a mage as the games went on. I love all the games tbh.

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

My friend got my sister into it. They kept talking and talking about it so finally I was like “ok lets see what the big deal is” and here I am now

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

I’ve done Origins twice fully, DA2 four times fully (omg I didn’t realize this until now lol) and DA:I just once fully. I have one unfinished playthrough of Origins with a Cousland, and I’m in the middle of maybe two of DA:I. I think I’ve gone back and replayed certain parts of both Origins and DA:I plenty of times.

04) Favourite race to play as?

Elf I guess? Though I’ve only fully played as a human and elf. I’m in the middle of a dwarf playthrough and I’m thinking of doing a qunari one in the future. It might change idk.

I just really liked playing as an elf in Origins so that’s why I got into elves. But the funny thing is, I wasn’t even thinking of playing as an elf when I played for the first time. I wanted to play as a human. I just did it on a whim.

05) Favourite class?

Mage, hands down. Realistically, they’re the most versatile class. They can do range and melee since anyone can learn how to fight with weapons. But the last two games won’t let you so :)

Also, this stems from the fact that I’ve been a harry potter fan since I could remember.

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

In my full, proper playthroughs that I’ve finished, it’s slightly different but still the same basic ideas. Sided with mages, agreed with Anders, etc.

But I am planning to try an evil playthrough in the future so

07) Go-to adventuring group?

DA:O (I have two)

Leliana, Wynne, Shale - the OG crew; they were my main crew in my first playthrough and it was a pretty even party

Zevran, Leliana, Alistair - the elf crew; esp. with Rhian they’re all elves because I saw a theory that Leliana is half elf and I’m down

DA2

It’s a mixed bag. If I’m not playing as a mage, I usually take Anders a lot because we need a healer and Merrill can’t heal. I tend not to take Sebastian as much after I max his friendship. After Sebastian, I take Aveline the least. Other than that I just mix it up. Unless I’m romancing someone, then I take them every time.

I’d love to take Anders, Fenris, and Merrill out more often but I hate how mean they all are to each other (looking @ u bioware 👀)

DA:I

My first playthrough, I mixed it up a lot in the beginning but then I ended up bringing Solas, Cole, and Blackwall a lot near the end for some reason?

I love taking Vivienne, Dorian, and Solas out, especially if I’m playing a mage, because it’s such a pretty fireworks show

In general though, if I’m romancing someone I take them with me almost always.

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

I think it’s a tie between Rhian and Lu.

09) Favourite romance?

To no one’s surprise, it’s Zevran :3

Solas is second because I just really like that angst.

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

I’ve read The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak, and Until We Speak (because someone gifted me the Omnibus) and The Calling.

I also have Hard in Hightown, which I should probably read lol, and the art book of inquisition.

11) If you read them, which was your favourite book?

The Calling solely because of my mom Fiona and my dad Duncan. 

12) Favourite DLCs?

Awakening because I love everyone and its also really funny that Rhian, who is 19 at that point, had to basically babysit people older than her and also run a whole arling.

I love both Legacy and Mark of the Assassin. Mark of the Assassin was really funny (though I hated the stealth part). I love Legacy specifically because when I was fighting Corypheus, both Varric and Anders K.O.’d and it was just me and Carver. It was a special family moment bringing down a whole entire magister together. I also hc that that was canon and it brought Kaia and Carver closer together.

13) Things that annoy you.

I’m gonna talk about the game bc if this is about the fandom, then that’s a whole other thing.

Anders’ writing for one. It doesn’t make sense that he’d approve of giving Fenris back to Danarius. And also that he wouldn’t tell f!Hawke that he’s bi? Then there’s the fact that Anders, Fenris, and Merrill all don’t get along when they have a lot in common.

Anything that was written by Lukas Krisdkjsdhkdk. Aveline, Sera, etc. he did a really bad job.

Also didn’t like that mages got less OP in the last two games.

There’s also the tone-deafness? Dorian, a brown man, saying slavery is ok. And also there’s the dialogue between Solas and Vivienne where Solas supposedly “owns” Vivienne. I think he says something like “may you learn”? Solas, a white person, saying this to Vivienne, a black woman, when there’s obvious colorism in Thedas? I think not.

There’s probably other but I can’t think of them right now.

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Orlais is too snooty and Ferelden doesn’t season their food. I pick Seheron and Laysh because that’s where the Asians are at.

15) Templars or mages?

Mages

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

Originally, my canonverse was Rhian, Kaia, and Luwalhati. Alden and Bolin were part of an AU. Then Alden finagled his way in there, then I decided to have Bolin in there too. So now i have twin Hawkes and Bolin is part of the Inquisition (if he’s a companion or not, I haven’t thought about)

I have plenty of other OCs that I’m planning on, but they’re currently sorted into a different universe.

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Pikamon for the Origins mabari. It’s a mix between the names of my two dogs, Pikachu and Cinnamon

Cinnachu for the DA2 mabari, also a mix of Pikachu and Cinnamon.

Lu’s mount is the royal sixteen (hart), which is given to you by Clan Lavellan if you manage to keep them alive iirc, and its name is Luntian, the tagalog word for green which is her favorite color. (In a teen!Lu AU, her mount is the bog unicorn bc she’s an edgelord)

18) Have you installed any mods?

It would be more surprising if I didn’t. How else would I manage to have my characters look like the’re poc?? And also get rid of whitewashing and have some continuity. I usually just do cosmetic mods if it’s my first playthrough. Then I do like “cheats” after I finish the game fully.

Fun fact, I once spent like 2+ hrs modding Origins to have the Zev romance the way I want. I also stayed up until like 5am trying to make Solas look like his concept art lol (it didn’t really work)

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

Rhian didn’t not want to become a warden. She read about them and thought they were an honorable order, but she didn’t expect to ever have a chance to become one. Her goal was to just go up in the Circle hierarchy, maybe even become First Enchanter. Then when the time came, she didn’t really have much of a choice.

20) Hawke’s personality?

Kaia is blue and Alden is purple

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

At first, I didn’t get what the big deal was with crafting. It didn’t seem fun at all lol. Then I tried it and was hooked. I don’t have them matching, but I do tend to try to match my Inquisitor with their LI in some way.

My usual procedure for armor in Inquisition is like this. I make everyone wear heavy armor and pick the materials that have the highest attributes, not caring how ridiculous the colors are. Then I go to tint them using a guide for each companion’s color scheme. This is the same for helmet but I usually have them turned off or have no one wearing one.

The only exception is Varric, Cole, and Blackwall. I have Varric wear the rogue armor that looks like his DA2 outfit, and Cole and Blackwall wear the Grey Warden heavy armor. I tint the grey warden armor using a guide for its color scheme.

I have Bull, Vivienne, and Cole wear their unique helmets.

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

Rhian - She’d probably want to re-do how she told Zevran that she wasn’t exactly dead.

Kaia - Taken Quentin’s threat more seriously and killed him before he got to Leandra

Alden - He has no regrets

Luwalhati - wouldn’t have taken Sam and Wis with her so they wouldn’t have had to have died in the conclave explosion

Bolin - None, all of his decisions led him to Dorian and he’s happy with that.

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

They’re all at least part Seheron?

I also hc that neither Carver nor Bethany die because Kaia was able to cast a barrier on both of them before the ogre got them. Then they both became Grey Wardens because Carver contracted the taint in the expedition and wouldn’t join the Wardens unless Bethany came with him too.

Another hc I have is that Sebastian didn’t leave when Anders was spared and stayed to help out. But he went his separate way after because he still didn’t approve of sparing him.

Oh shoot, I almost forgot. The most against canon thing I’ve done probably? Rhian didn’t do the Ritual but she did slay the archdemon without dying. Rhian’s an arcane warrior, so when she slayed it, she was partway in the fade. Being partway into the fade was enough for her essence, I guess, to survive it. But she’s not mortal anymore and kind of a spirit now? So she periodically has to chill in the fade because being in the real world takes a toll on her.

25) Who did you leave in the Fade?

In the game, it was Stroud. I killed Loghain and no way is Alistair gonna be trapped in there. Fiona will be sad. So I made Alistair king in the game only, so Stroud was the one that was left.

This is another off canon thing I did. In my actual canon, Alistair is the warden contact. The Hawke that comes to the Inquisition is both Kaia and Alden. Alden brings Fenris with him because he doesn’t go anywhere without his Boo-Boo. Bethany and Carver also come because Weisshaupt was being weird and it seemed like they would be safer in the Inquisition. Lu + her party, Alistair, Kaia, Alden, Fenris, Bethany, and Carver all come to Adamant. Because there’s so many people, everyone was able to escape the Fade. No one is left behind.

26) Favourite mount? The nugs! All of them :) 

Though I don’t really use the mounts lol

[queenklu]

So You Think You Can Dragon pt15: THE END

Part 1&2 | Part 14

I can’t believe we’ve made it. 

Int. Night Before the Battle:

Morrigan: What if I told you there’s a way to make sure the demon dies and it doesn’t kill you or Alistaire or Cannonfodder McDeadsoon (the third grey warden he doesn’t even go here)? 

Magnus: Heck yeah, sign me up! 

Morrigan: Fantastic, all you’ve gotta do is bang me.

Magnus: 

Morrigan: It’s genuinely no big deal, we’ll just conceive a child and then the demon when it’s looking for a host will jump into this infinitessimally small not even barely a cluster of cells 

Magnus: and then....you miscarry right and it’s dead that....way.......? 

Me: I can’t believe this game is sort of endorsing abortion but o--

Morrigan: Oh no the baby will be fine and grow up big and strong and definitely probably not evil? probably? 

Me: What in the FUCK is HAPPENING

Magnus: Okay but I feel like we’re glossing over the fact that I’m REAL GAY

Morrigan: does Zevran want you to DIE TOMORROW or bang one chick tonight? ;)

Magnus: I think we both know the answer to that but I still wish this game gave me the option to ASK

I let Morrigan know this is a garbage decision and I don’t want to do it, and she says the only other option is if she bangs ALISTAIRE. JFC. HEIR TO THE THRONE, DUMB AS A LABRADOR AND TWICE AS LOYAL, A L I S T A I R E

Magnus: Uhhh buddy? do you....wanttobangmorrigan?

Alistaire: da fuq

Magnus: you’rerightpretendineversaidanythingnevermindbye

Alistaire: Thank GOD you were joking HAHAHAHA

Me: oh my god what the FUCK do I do I AM NOT READY TO BE A FATHER

So. In the most cringe worthy bullshit thing I ever had to do in this whackado video game....for the good of THE WORLD.....I.........slept *gag* with Morrigan.

“that sure is the face of a guy who isn’t being coerced into sex” -- no one

I....just............Dragon Age why

Note: I did almost do all this bullshit for nothing bc some guy was all “Who do you want to bring with you on the last boss battle?” and i’m like “WYNNE” bc I figure we’ll need healing Real Bad and then Morrigan’s like “All that for nothing?? Well I’m gonna LEAVE THIS BATTLE RIGHT NOW” and i had to go back a save point -.-

Oh. You Know What Else I Found Out. In The Last Battle. 

I HAVE BEEN DELETING SKILLS TO FIT THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES THE WHOLE!!! TIME!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT!!!! WE HAD FINITE!!!! SLOTS!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“This is fine.” - Magnus

It only took me losing the first fight several times to realize there was a little box in the corner where I could call for help from the dwarves/men/elves who’d promised to help. Also with Morrigan’s lightning storm spell taking out all of the darkspawn grunts who walk into it and immediately die, so. Morrigan WAS good to have in the fight. 

AND ALSO the last battle had BASICALLY CANNONS and the dragon mostly held still and just got...shot. But not before chomping Grey Warden Cannonfodder McDeadsoon. 

I’m...honestly I’m just assuming the spirit thing worked and the demon jumped into Morrigan’s microscopic baby??? The graphics were real unclear. She also super bounced as soon as the fighting was done. 

And then...it was over. 

Alistaire offered me anything in his power, which was nice, but also not the bi-curious makeout session Magnus was hoping for. Wynne’s gonna stay behind and help him be king, which is GOOD, boy needs all the help he can get. Leliana’s off to fake!France, Sten is back to his homeland, asshole dwarf is going to drink himself to an early grave, and Zevran...

FLASHBACK TO THE BATTLE: 

Zevran: So...you’re not taking me with you? 

Magnus: I’ve got three slots, two of which have to be Morrigan and Alistaire, the other one has to be a tank, babe, and I think we can all agree that ain’t you

Zevran: True. Still, I would have fought with you...to the end. 

Magnus: Hey Zevran? I love you.

Zevran: [A DIRECT QUOTE] “Ah. Cruel to the end.” *moonwalks off to fight*

Me/Magnus: ....why 

END FLASHBACK / PRESENT DAY: 

Zevran: I’m probably going to get killed by Crows one day, even though we killed everyone who knew about me deserting, so I should probably move around a lot to keep that from happening

Magnus: ...kay

Zevran: But you’re going to stay here, right?

Magnus: Not without you.

Zevran: Then we stay. And we fight anyone who comes at us together, yes?

Magnus: *with heart-shaped tears dripping from his eyes* y-yeah *sniffle* 

What’s his name, Magnus’s brother who’s wife and kid got slain at the start of the game: Hey bro

Magnus: Who in the fuck are you

CREDITS ROLL:

AND LO, THE KINGDOM WAS MOSTLY OKAY. THE DWARVES WERE STILL MORONS WITH A BROKEN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT THAT CRUMPLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE NEW KING DIED. BUT THINGS GOT NICER FOR THE ELVES IN TOWN, AND ALSO KIND OF FOR THE WOOD ELVES BUT A LITTLE BIT LESS. ALISTAIRE WAS A GOOD KING, WHICH SURPRISED EVERYONE. MORRIGAN WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN (OR WAS SHE) AND SHE WAS MAYBE PREGNANT (WHO SPIED ON US). UHHHH NOBODY ELSE GOT MENTIONED. I BET THEY DIDN’T WANT TO TELL ME THAT ZEVRAN AND I DIDN’T WORK OUT IN THE LONG RUN. LOOK I KNOW HE’S WILD AND FREE AND ALSO NEEDS ALL THE THERAPY. OH AND I GUESS THE CIRCLE’S DOING OKAY. DAGMA THE DWARF GOT A SHOUTOUT BUT NOT STEN OR LELIANA. HISTORY FORGOT ABOUT THEM I GUESS. THAT’S BULLSHIT. ANYWAY. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY, AND ALSO MY DASH FOR PUTTING UP WITH THESE RAMBLING RECAPS OF A DECADE-OLD VIDEO GAME. I’D LIKE TO PLAY THE NEXT ONE NOW THAT I’M AN ~EXPERT.~ AND I GUESS SINCE THE GAME DIDN’T GIVE ME MUCH OF AN ENDING I’LL GIVE MAGNUS ONE MYSELF: HE LIVED A GOOD LONG LIFE, LONGER THAN ANYONE EXPECTED, AND WHEN HE AND ZEVRAN LOVINGLY PARTED WAYS HE FOUND A GOOD OL’ BOY WITH WAY LESS BAGGAGE AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, AND ONE TIME ALISTAIRE GOT DRUNK AND SMOOCHED HIM AND GOT ALL BLUSHY AFTERWARD BUT DECIDED THEY’D BE BETTER AS FRIENDS. 

THE

END

[icharchivist]

still, for all that is about DA that is kind of just “I play it like that because that’s how i feel”, and the fact my characters all have a rather Neutral Good moral compass, I still love that I can really feel the difference between my characters?

Long OCs ramble bc I can wouhouh!

Kurai, my very first Warden, a Dalish Elf, was probably the character I thought the least about because she was my very first character and I was suuper confused by the story. But still, she was a good person. She had a huge sense of honor, and she was respectful until people weren’t with her, in which case she would end them. She was a warrior, she was upfront. She was kind and compassionate, but she was also probably my most moral character. Since she was saved by the Wardens, she has great respect for their order, knowing she could have died. So to her, fighting for the greater good is an honor. While realizing how much work is ahead, she stood proud and wasn’t afraid. She had to do it. That’s probably why her and Alistair ended up being an item, they work out of each other there.

Laven, my second Warden, a City Elf, was much more cynical. She was bitter, she knew the world wasn’t fair. She wanted to do good, but if she had to get her hands dirty, she would. She would fight for the underdogs, and she would insult those she deemed unworthy. She was a free electron in her own way (which in a way is why it doesn’t bother me in dai that she did leave alone with Zevran to find a way against the Calling without warning anyone, seems like her). Also, ye, her romance with Zevran just fits her so much, since the ending of Awakening having her running away with Zevran in Antiva to fight the Crows by his sides is 100% her. And in the end, she mostly did everything because she was dragged into it for the worst way possible and there was no way she stood by when the world was falling apart. She would fight with her frustration and anger, but wasn’t scared. Too bitter for that.

The best parallelism between Kurai and Laven is how they both handled meeting the King and arriving to the Landsmeet. While Kurai didn’t like Shems, she knew she was out of her elements meeting the King, so she was respectful, knowing she was living by others people’s rules. In the Landsmeet, despite her dislike for Loghain, she stayed contained and calm knowing the stakes. Laven, however, insulted the King the first time she saw him because she was angry at how everything was in Denerim, and she was bitter. She’s been taken away because she brought justice, she won’t be any nice now. The fact the King showed regrets touched her in a way, but she was still angry. And in the Landsmeet, she made all the aggressive comments possible against Loghain and Howe, because her blood was boiling, and damn the consequences. She has come this far, it won’t be for Shems to take it away from her.

In a way Laven is probably my most ruthless character - and despite that she still was quite kind and nice. I still did every morally good things I could. But i also picked up all the stealing and stuff quest because that’s how much she didn’t care. She became the Dark Wolf too, which is neat.

Alma, my Hawke, was a Green/Diplomatic/Helpful Rogue, and she was just. Trying so hard. My reasoning was always that, she was always there for her family. She was overprotective, she took all the burden she could. She would get aggressive if you threatened her family. She’d get charismatic in order to distract people from her world falling apart, or to distract them from her sister. So she was cracking jokes from time to time, she was easy going, but always full of duty. She ended up being extremely involved in mage’s rights because she would have done everything for her sister. Once she was taken by the circle, this became even a stronger feeling.  So it did lead her to get close to Anders more easily because she felt strongly about his plight. And why the ending of the game hurt her this much, because it wasn’t the way. She was respectful and kind, sometimes snarky, aggressive if you hurt what she loved, she was taking the burden of the world on her shoulders, and ended up being defeated by it. In a way, Alma was positive. she knew from the begining she was in a corner, and tried to fight her way out of it with a smile on her face, and the world did everything to have her crumble until she couldn’t take it anymore. She’s by far the most tragic one.

And finally Laena, my Inquisitor - She was anxious from the start. None of it was ever meant to happen. It’s not like she liked the Circle, but she had a place and a very small world to take care of until the rebellion. Hell, the fact the Circle was such a small world isolated her, she was in no way ready to deal with the Whole World, she wasn’t meant to. Her survival at the Conclave is a miracle, and immediatly after that, she was asked to stand and fight. She realized she had no choice pretty quickly, but she was devasted from the start. A survivor’s complex in a way, she was the only one who made it out - and people would say it was because she was chosen and it freaked her out. She wasn’t worth choosing. She didn’t want to be chosen. The revelation that all was just dumb luck is even worse, because she doesn’t consider herself special, she didn’t walk this path willingly, nothing prepared her for that. And now so many people lay her hope on her, and it scares her. She has to act strong, to help everyone, people are expecting so much of her, and she knows she can’t show weakness. But she was completely unprepared for this mess, and even now that all is over - especially now that all is over - she is completely lost. Where to go now, how to make it all work? This is frightening. And she has to stay collected, to give people’s hope, but at what cost? But she will always feel like it’s not her place, like she cannot judge, that she wasn’t made for this. And, that’s why I could see her fall for Cullen too. As an advisor he was always giving her advice, always helping her doing so. She could let her guard down around him, she could tell him how she only felt terrified, and he would reassure her. He brought her reassurance and stability, and she knew he wasn’t expecting of her to do everything on her own. He brought her the comfort she needed. His own fears of not being strong enough, of fucking up again, of letting people down, resonated with her and they could help each other out. It brought comfort.

I played all of my characters to be rather nice, pick good choices, fighting for those who needed it. And tbh I was kinda scared that maybe it made them all too similar but I end up thinking about it, and no. They are all so different.

Kurai was proud and strong, and even if slightly scared at time, she stood tall and her bravery took over everything. She knew she had to do what she had to do and she did it.

Laven was bitter and furious at life. She did what she had to because there was no way she was going to show defeat. She wasn’t scared, she was angry, and if her life hadn’t defeated her until then, it’s not an archdemon who will.

Alma was optimistic, sweet and kind, funny and gentle, but the world around her did everything to break her. To make her unable to carry it on. Alma ended her journey sad, and left alone. Also in my timeline I had her kill Anders, her lover, so it’s like, kind of horrifying for her too. Everyone and Everything pushed her world to fall apart, and the whole World blamed her for it. She went from optimistic to defeated, sad, heavy, wondering if it even mattered, if how much she sacrificed was even worth it.

Laena was anxious from the start - scared. She was unsure and still is unsure. Nothing reassured her, everything just added weight on her shoulders, weight she was never meant to carry, something she knows happened just because of her compassion and dumb luck. So now she’s trying to hold it all together because that’s what people need of her - and she realizes that the world needs her, even if she doesn’t know how. More than all the others, she relies on the people around her. She tries to stand tall, but unlike Alma who did it to convince herself it’ll be okay, she does it solly for people’s around her.

And I really like that, despite their similitudes, I feel so strongly for each of them. I am proud of each of them so much.

I was also kinda scared I self projected on them in a way, since it always end up happening creating ocs, but their differences make up for what I think. It’s kinda funny dkjhdjfk I see a bit of myself in all of them. Kurai’s gentleness, Laven’s frustration, Alma’s trying to handle the world crashing down with a smile while she’s herself crumbling, and Laena’s anxiety and urge to carry on when she never asked for it, despair contained by her duty to others. I love them all.

[thenugking]

The Adventures of Mary Suesland Chapter 1

Here it is start of the worst thing i have ever written

Warnings for abuse from parents (of the “evil for no reason” kind) and cheating, homophobia (gay men are hot, lesbians are gross), unrealistic sex, and just the fact that this fic is really bad.

(Disclaimer: Make all the mary sues and self inserts u want, do not take this as me saying it’s bad. i just wrote this fic bc it was fun.)

CHAPTER 1

“You’re ten minutes late home, Emelerana!” my mum said accusingly.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “Something really upsetting happened.” I didn’t want to tell my parents, because I knew they’d just make fun of me for it, but I’d discovered that my boyfriend, Chad was cheating on me with my best friend, Kylee. The two people I thought cared about me most in the world had betrayed me! Kylee had always teased me meanly, but we’d been friends since nursery, I never thought she’d do something like this! And I’d thought what I had with Chad was special. He’d seemed such a sweet guy and had told me he loved me. I’d even given him my virginity! It felt like such a waste now!

“That’s no excuse!” my dad said. “You’re grounded for a week!”

I tried to object that most 18 year olds don’t have such strict curfews, but they just glared at me and locked me in my bedroom in the basement. I felt my eyes well with all the tears I’d kept in after seeing Kylee and Chad together, I hadn’t wanted to look weak in front of them, but now I began to sob.

I gazed into my mirror sadly. My violet orbs were filled with tears and they were running down my porcelain skin. I was so plain-looking and ugly compared to Kylee! My cascade of raven locks just couldn’t compare with the golden curls of her hair, nor her big blue eyes. And while I was curvy, my body was petite. She was almost a foot taller than me and had slightly larger boobs. I sighed, knowing I could never be as beautiful as she was.

I raised a hand to wipe the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath. I had to be strong, and get through this! I just needed to take my mind off the pain of the betrayal. My parents had cut off my access to the internet the other week, as punishment for doing badly in english literature. I’d told them it was just because my teacher hated me - for some reason she’d always picked on me, ever since I started the class, maybe because I seemed to understand the reading better than she did - and gathered proof that she was marking me badly for no reason, but they’d just laughed cruelly at me. Not that I could have used my computer to contact anyone, without Kylee or Chad I didn’t have any friends.

I decided that instead, I would play Dragon Age Origins. I’d always loved the Dragon Age games, even though I got bullied a lot for being a nerd for liking them. But when I was playing them, it was like I was transported out of my nightmarish life and into the magical world of Thedas, and surrounded by real friends. I decided I’d start a new game, as a human noble. That was always my favourite Origin story.

I was torn between playing a male or female character. I usually played female, and female human nobles were the best because they could marry Alistair and become Queen, which was the most amazing and romantic ending. But on the other hand, maybe I should play a male character for a change. Then I could romance Zevran, because he liked other men, and that would be really hot. I’d never romanced him before, I tried sometimes but then I’d meet Alistair and just fall in love all over again. But before I could make my mind up, but computer suddenly broke down! I gave a cry of despair, today was truly the worst day of my life.

I threw myself down on my bed and fell asleep, sobbing.

When I woke up, something felt different. My bed was really hard and uncomfortable, but not this much, it felt as though I was lying on the floor. And it felt like I was in a much bigger space than my tiny cramped basement bedroom. I opened my eyes and gasped, I really was somewhere else!

I sat up and looked around and realised I was in Castle Cousland! Bryce, Eleanor and Duncan were standing in the Great Hall looking at me. I gasped.

“Who are you? Where did you come from?” Bryce asked.

“I’m Emelerana,” I said. “I come from another world. But I know all about you! You’re Bryce and Eleanor Cousland, and Warden Commander Duncan! And...” I looked around. “Wait a minute!” I gasped. “If Duncan’s here, this must be the night that Howe betrays you!” And maybe that was how I’d ended up here! The betrayal I felt at Chad and Kaylee was so uniquely strong, it had connected me across worlds to the Couslands, who were also about to be devastatingly betrayed!

“Howe wouldn't betray us!” exclaimed Bryce. “I’ve known him too long. He’s my best friend!” I shook my head. “No, his men will attack the castle tonight and kill everyone. Only your child survives.”

Bryce and Eleanor looked at each other. “We can’t possibly believe her,” they said. “But she seems so nice. We must look after her.” They called Ser Gilmore to take me to a guest room. I gasped. He was even more handsome than he was in the game.

“I’m Ser Gilmore,” he said.

“I’m Emelerana,” I said.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Emelerana. If you don’t mind me saying, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

I blushed and kissed him. Then, he took me to my room where we got undressed and fell upon each other in a passion. I gasped when he pulled out his throbbing manhood and moaned as he slid it into my channel of love. Then, I felt it bump against something. I gasped again, in surprise, rather than lust this time. My hymen had grown back while traveling between Earth and Thedas! I would be able to give Gilmore my virginity! He thrust in and out of me passionately and I moaned in pleasure, my breasts heaving. This was my first time having sex and I would always remember this moment, not least because Gilmore was incredibly talented. We cried out each other’s names as his manliness exploded into fireworks inside me, making my heart flutter in my own passion. Afterwards we lay in each other’s arms happily.

Suddenly, I remembered that Ser Gilmore died in Howe’s attack and burst into tears.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me.

“I don’t want you to die!” I said. “I don’t want anyone here to die! Howe’s going to kill everyone but no one will believe me!”

“I believe you,” Gilmore said. “I’ll help you tell everyone.”

I kissed him again happily. Then, we went to tell all the castle’s guards that there would be an attack tonight, and to make sure they were ready for it. While Gilmore was talking to some guards, I looked around and realised Lady Landra and her son and lady in waiting were standing nearby. I remembered that you could have sex with her son. (And with her lady in waiting, but I didn’t do that because I’m not a lesbian.)

“Hello,” I said to Dairren. He said hello back.

“Would you like to join me in my room tonight?” I asked.

“Of course!” he said.

We smiled at each other. Then, Elissa arrived. She was so beautiful, I was sure Dairren would choose to sleep with her instead. I turned away sadly.

But then, Dairren yelled, “No!” and glared at her. He put his arm around me. “I can’t believe she tried to get me to sleep with her!” he said to me. “What a bitch!” 

Elissa glared at me and instead asked Iona to join her in her room. I grinned smugly back at her. She reminded me of Kylee, and I was really pleased she had to have sex with Iona instead of Dairren. 

I was on my way back to my room to wait for Dairren when someone else turned the corner towards me. Oh no! I thought. It was Howe.  He pointed a dagger at me.

“How dare you tell everyone of my secret plans!” he yelled. “Nevermind, no one will believe you, and I will kill everyone here!” He laughed cruelly.

“No!” I yelled back, tears streaming down my face. “I can’t let you do that!” I ran away, hearing him cursing after me.

I ran into my room and collapsed on the bed crying. I couldn’t let him kill all these people! I had to do something! Then, I heard a knock on my door and Dairren came in to have sex with me. I was so happy to see him, and excited about losing my virginity to him, before I remembered that in the game, Howe’s soldiers killed him if you had sex with them.

I put my hand on his face. “I’m sorry,” I told him softly. “We can’t do this. You’ll die.”

He gazed at me sadly. “But I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” I told him. “But that's why we can never be together.”

I kissed him sadly, knowing it would be the last time I could, before running out into the hall to go and stop Howe.

It was night now, and I could hear screams and fighting everywhere. Howe’s attack must have already started! I ran along corridors, throwing open doors, trying to find the Couslands so I could help them. Then, I found Elissa’s room. I cried out in horror as I looked inside, Elissa and Iona were dead! Howe had already killed them. I clenched my fists. Elissa had been horrible to me, but I had to be compassionate to look past that. I would avenge her death!

I ran on, returning to the Great Hall. Ser Gilmore was in there, lying on the ground, with blood running down his chest.

“No!” I yelled, falling on my knees next to him, remembering our stolen evening of pleasure earlier. “Please don’t die!”

He looked at me. “Emelerana...” he said. “I didn’t think I could go on, but you’ve given me the strength to keep fighting!” He stood up and stabbed another of Howe’s guards. I cheered him on.

“I have to find Bryce and Eleanor,” I told him.

“That will be dangerous,” he told me, “But you’re strong and brave enough that I’m sure you can do it!”

I found Bryce and Eleanor huddled together next to the escape route in the kitchen, but they weren’t alone… Howe was with them too!

He was pointing a sword at them and laughing evilly. “Now I will kill you both! And Castle Cousland will be mine!”

“No!” I yelled, running towards them, feeling so angry and sad.

He turned to sneer at me, but as he did so, something happened. Fire shot out of my outstretched hands, shooting towards him. Now that I was in Thedas, I must be a mage! Howe screamed as it wrapped around him and fell down, dead.

“Thank you Emelerana!” said Bryce, running towards me and hugging me. “You saved our lives!” “We’re so sorry we didn’t believe you earlier,” said Eleanor, also hugging me. “We were so stupid and wrong!”

I hugged them back. “I forgive you,” I told them kindly. “But something terrible has happened… Howe killed Elissa.”

“Oh no!” Eleanor said, crying.

Bryce looked at me sadly. “It’s our fault Elissa died,” he said. “If we had believed you in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. But… we’ve lost our daughter and you are alone in this world. Perhaps we could adopt you?”

Eleanor gasped. “That would be wonderful!”

“Yes please!” I told them. “My real parents on earth were really horrible to me, I’d much rather you were my parents instead!”

They beamed at me. “Good!” said Bryce. “Then we should go and celebrate you saving our lives, and our castle!”

We went to celebrate in the Great Hall with everyone else, hardly anyone had died in the attack because Ser Gilmore and I had warned everyone in time! I was kissing Gilmore happily when Duncan approached me.

“I saw you kill Howe,” he told me. “I’ve never seen such powerful magic. And I was very impressed with how brave and resourceful you were, saving everyone. I came here looking for a new Grey Warden recruit. And I would like to recruit you.”

I gasped in surprise. “Oh yes,” Gilmore told me. “You’d make an amazing Grey Warden, you should definitely do it! Although it would hurt so much to lose you.” “It would hurt me too,” I told him. “But Duncan is right. Being a Grey Warden is my destiny.”

I sadly hugged my new parents goodbye, but I promised to come back soon. I remember that in the game, Grey Wardens don’t usually go back to their family after getting recruited, but Duncan promised that I could, since he couldn’t bare to take me away from the Couslands forever. Before I left, they gave me Elissa’s mabari as a gift. He was the most beautiful dog I’d ever seen and when he jumped up and licked me, I knew he’d imprinted on me as his new owner!

“He never actually imprinted on Elissa,” Bryce confided to me. “I think he was just waiting for you to come along.”

I smiled and hugged him and Eleanor again, and kissed Ser Gilmore goodbye. Then, I set off with Duncan to be a Grey Warden.

[mslanna]

.> ..... Why do you like Reyes? My first playthrough I did Sloane Kelly (bc her cute turian boyfriend), but I wanna know what makes Reyes...well a better choice? Not from a romancing perspective because he's just not my type. I feel like they were trying to make another Zevran and it...did not work.

Sorry for therant. I needed to rant. Personally, I don’t think there is a‘better’ choice because you don’t get to see many consequences.Reyes changes Kadara only a little and why would Sloane changeanything right away? I think, the problems are of a very differentkind, more tied into the writing and set-up of the whole conflict.

I am also 100% notneutral on this. I love Reyes. This isn’t going to end well. I hopeI answer your question somewhere in this rambling somehow. I am a badperson to ask.

So, long story,long:

I don’t evenknow. I went into MEA intending to romance Liam because he did theweapons tutorial and I love me a guy who talks about guns. Then Jaalappeared and Liam was out of the game. And THEN I went to Kadara,happily set in my romance and Reyes happens. My view was really, really skewed in his favour after that.

My gut reactionwas to save Sloane, though. Hell would I allow an honest duel turn out afarce. But then Reyes just leaves and I was, well, nope. Gonna changethat. Even though that Ryder didn’t romance him.

So, how is he abetter choice? Is he? Sloane caves after you save her and lets youset up your outpost. She’s more open about her feelings andmethods. She hates the Nexus/Initiative so I get why that can be aproblem. But I also don’t see why Ryder should be unable to softenher up. Come on. They’re Ryder, they’ll turn Sloane around.

What made medislike Sloane was the beating of people in public for – can’teven remember. Reyes has the ‘manners’ to have people beaten upwhere you can’t see. Also she was mean and condescending to me.Also extortion. Which I didn’t give much of a damn about because Iepxect that in a crime environment.

Reyes is more of awild card. You can trust him, though he doesn’t do much to earnthat trust, especially if you do not romance him. If you romance him,you still have to take a lot on trust. Thing is, we never find out ifour trust is justified. After finishing of that story arc, Reyes (andSloane) vanish in the woodwork never to be mentioned again. 100%wasted opportunity.

So what I’mtrying to say is that we are meant to believe things are better underReyes but who knows what kind of shady stuff he keeps doing? Yeah, hedoesn’t collect protection money, but that market is pretty muchSloane’s. Would he, given the chance? I don’t know. It is easymoney and he likes a big payoff. Says he doesn’t need to with theoutpost around, but then Sloane won’t either. Not that she’d stopcollecting a second before she’s certain it actually works.

Long story short:

Personally, Ithink the whole thing is rigged against Sloane. She doesn’t getmuch screen time with Ryder, she’s painted in a bad light and ifshe had good qualities they are not shown. On the other hand, Reyesgood qualities are mentioned left and right whereas his more shadyactivities are mostly left to imagination.

In the end youhave to decide which kind of evil you can live with better. Or justplay the ‘Sloane totes hates the Nexus it would never work’-card. I never actually found out how popular she is with the people.

In the end you have to go with who you believe will be better for Kadara in the long run. Will Sloane change? Will Reyes betray you? We just don’t know.

Also, why doeseverybody keep comparing Reyes to Zevran? I 100% don’t get it.They’re bi-sexual and have a similar accent. For me that is wherethe obvious similarities stop. And I had to think about the accentthing.

[boltlightning]

I BEAT ORIGINS so here are some thoughts bc i can’t keep this in. there will probably be spoilers for this 2009 game

honestly...i’m bad at many video games but origins felt like an uphill climb a lot of the time?? i felt like this combat system relied heavily on status effects and auxiliary things like traps and i had to turn down the difficulty during random hoard encounters because i’m a filthy Casul

at some point during the final battle you have to fight like 80 ogres and it’s just super cheap bc ogres knock you down every 5 seconds and having 80 ogres do that at once means you’re guaranteed to take a few hits before you can even stand

(i was also playing a sword/shield dexterity tank which probably made for the least varied gameplay possible? and this was right after playing a tempest dual-wield rogue in inquisition, which is VERY involved. i don’t know. the combat was never ever really fun for me)

it just felt like a game meant to be played in tactical mode, which isn’t in the console versions,

i played as a city elf and it didn’t really come up except for a few choice dialogues so i thought it was a bit of a let down...but then i got to the alienage quest right before the landsmeet and it was SO GOOD! what a good quest! for once the combat didn’t outweigh emotional stress for me and it was a really good origin and i’m glad i picked it!!!

loghain was a good character and i was looking forward to killing him the entire game and they STILL made me feel guilty about it. good shit. good shit

i romanced alistair (it was largely an accident at first but it was a genuinely a good romance) but then also made him king and since my warden was an ELF i had a dawning moment of realization that they couldn’t get married and that also hurt but i just wanted my warden to be happy so she’s his mistress now and it’s fine everything’s f i ne and cool

i hit high approval with zevran towards the end of the game during the landsmeet quests and after i got back to camp after making alistair KING and telling him we can still HAVE A ROMANCE ON THE SIDE i got a cutscene about alistair asking if zevran and i had a thing going on??? and zevran also had a cutscene about how i was the only fereldan lady he’d had relations with when we definitely did not have those relations????? it was so odd and i’m just really glad they fixed the relationship system in the future

why do the sex scenes...look like that

i like that the game wasn’t just fighting darkspawn. the political intrigue was genuinely enjoyable to the point where gameplay and dungeon crawling just seemed to get in my way. really solid, solid writing - but heavy-handed and honestly? overtly bleak at times. lota good stuff tho, and lore things i didn’t understand until i played this made more sense

SANDAL’S LAST ENCOUNTER IN THE FINAL AREA. WHAT THE HELL

playable epilogues are my SHIT and i’m GLAD i got to do that in another dragon age game

overall: i enjoyed the game. i am glad to leave this combat system in 2009 where it belongs. i love love LOVE my warden and am glad to keep her alive in my canon so she can keep doing good. i probably won’t play this again because i do not want to drag myself through the fade and the deep roads on this particular engine ever again

[cloudmonstachopper]

biiig chiimquisitor update!

With a few cameos about my warden, Cloudy (and maybe about my champion Mishka too)

Leliana says something about Briala having had a past with Celenne and Chiim is basically like DIRTY COURT GOSSIP???? TELL ME MORE shameless

When asked who to bring along, it basically went like this: I can’t NOT take Vivienne to a BALL please!! And Dorian? Oh, he’ll love it! He deserves a treat anyways, I’ve dragged him through such “dreadful” areas. And Varric! He’ll be sure to wind some fun tales from the evening.

Chiim in formal clothes was amazing. But like. Vivienne trying to wrestle them into it. Dorian dying of laughter on the couch in the background. Chiim: WHY IS THIS JUST A SEVEN FOOT LENGTH OF BLUE FABRIC. WHAT DO I DO WITH IT. IS IT TO TIE UP MY ENEMIES? Vivienne: nO INQUISITOR THAT IS YOUR SASH AND CUMBERBUND M A K E R PLS They manage to finally get Chiim into the tunic. But they weren’t having it with the pants, Chiim won the battle and got to wear thigh-high travel-worn boots with like. Kneepads. Amazing. Truly a LookTM. Chiim fashion at its finest.

Josie: Before you enter the ballroom... you EVERY WORD AND ACTION WILL BE JUDGED SO YOU’D BEST BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR Chiim: sooo no jumping on the furniture like a goat then, I take it? Josie: *nearly has a stroke* please don’t

Empress: We look forward to watching you dance Chiim: *internally* “we look forward to watching you dance” yeah they just wanna be assholes and see how in the wooooorld someone dances with such ‘heavy monstrosities’ on their head hAVE THEY EVEN SEEN THEIR OWN HATS y’all just racist assholes what a pile of pricks Chiim: A pleasure. If you’ll excuse me *bows gracefully and scuttles away*

Chiim: So, Yvette, any FUN STORIES ABOUT JOSIE???? *nearly bouncing up and down in excitement* Yvette: oh, there was that time when we were ten- Josie: NO Yvette: or how about that time you accidentally melted- Josie: STOP Yvette: or that time you spilt sauce all over- Josie: YveTTE Yvette: she still plays with her dolls when no one’s looking!! Josie: *covering yvette’s mouth and laughing* I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT

Apparently full white masks were used in orlesian theater for roles with no clear gender. I mean I know they’re talking about spirits. But. I’m just saying. If Chiim had an orlesian mask, it would be a full white one.

Chiim: oh look, cullen is surrounded by ladies. Ladies: would you like a drink? a dance? Cullen: No thank you, I’m not thirsty. Chiim: and he has no idea they’re flirting with him in the SLIGHTEST. I’d best go save him.

Chiim: *wandering the balconies* an awful lot of drinks and bottles scattered around on this table for an empty balcony... hrm... I SUSPECT A MEETING HAS OCCURRED HERE it later turned out that’s where gaspard hangs out so he probs met with florianne there

Chiim: these elvhen servants are literally leaving blood tracks behind I mean seriously????? even I can tell???? I thought the game was supposed to be subtle

Dorian: *reminiscing about tevinter balls* It’s lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and some blood magic! But the night IS young Chiim: *just raises eyebrow* Dorian: ooh, but you ought to dance with me before we go Chiim: *is SO OVER IT bc still reeling from WOW ORLESIAN ASSHOLES* hm Dorian: *cajoles* Chiim: okay, m a y b e Dorian: you sure you don’t want to dance with the evil magister? it’d certainly be s h o c k i n g~ Chiim: mmm tempting Dorian: if you could find me ten silk scarves I’ve got a dance that would REALLY shock them *wink wonk* Chiim: good thing I’m a rogue and every lady is wearing twenty-seven then, I’ll be back in a jiffy ;D

Chiim: psssst dorian, distract everybody in this courtyard while I climb this terrace! Dorian: that’ll need to be quite a big distraction then, to pry everyone away from the qunari inquisitor, IN dress clothes, climbing a terrace during the great ball NOT TO MENTION providing everyone with a great view of dat ass Chiim: so? Dorian: already on it dear

Leliana’s obsession with shoes is very intelligent and I love her. In other news: !!!!!! M O R R I G A N AHHHHHH

Chiim: *is impatient and jumps on a couch to reach some incriminating papers on the table* Courtiers: ooh that inquisitor, he must have some sort of... strength to make up for his BOORISH manners *loses a point of approval* Chiim: Josie’s gonna kill me

Chiim plays the politics game, does really nice. Back at the keep everyone is like !!! wow, I was really impressed!! I didn’t know you could pull that off???? Chiim: heh, yeah, Dorian and Vivienne and Leliana coached me in niceties and playacting (and Leliana in some added ShenanigansTM) Josie: AND YOU STILL JUMPED ON THE FURNITURE Chiim: *deadpan* you can take the ox outta the qunari, but you can’t take the gOAT OUTTA THE CHIIMQUISITOR *runs* Josie: *proceeds to ream chiimquisitor out for approx. 2hr*

Florianne: do you know who can be trusted? Chiim, a person who naturally trusts almost everyone and is weak to growing attached to people: *lies through their teeth* if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to trust no one

At the ball, and Josie’s all “ohooo! You’ll be the talk of the court for months! We should take you dancing more often!” Chiim: clearly she hasn’t heard about my furniture jumping escapades yet

“Are we going to sneak around the empress’ unmentionables NOW? haha, just how drunk are you, boss?” Varric has officially adopted the Chiimquisitor #CONFIRMED

Chiim: *hears screams for help in the next room* Chiim: *busts into next room, finds harlequin assassin about to take out an elf* Chiim: *just straight up KICKS THE HARLEQUIN OUT THE WINDOW NBD* Chiim: Are you okay? Sorry bout that, my protection instincts kicked in and I just... well. I did say they *kicked* in. Heh. Heheheheh. Varric: Andraste’s bloomers but that was a bad one

Chiim: *fucks things up and talks to morrigan and feels SLIGHTLY better bc liason but also fucked up things for the elves* Dorian: *side-eyes morrigan SO HARD as he walks in WHO IS FLIRTING WITH HIS CHIIMQUISITOR N O W GDI* Dorian: so you charmed the dowager and she wants to marry you to one of her daughters. Told her you’d already left Chiim: (oh thank god) Dorian: You can thank me later. Or now. But you look lost in thought. Something on your mind? Chiim: I fucked up, Dorian. I fucked up bad and now I’m sad but I’ve made the best of a shitty situation. *hunches in on themselves, sighs* Dorian: clearly you need to be distracted. Let’s dance? Chiim: *isn’t a dancer, is so OVER dancing, and the game, and all this shit, but... maybe it’s what they need, and they’ll give it a shot... for Dorian* Chiim: *looks up and tries a smile* I thought you’d never ask.

Chiim gets back to skyhold and IMMEDIATELY mother giselle is all up in everybody’s business and like INQUISITOR CAN I HAVE A MOMENT Chiim, internally: LET ME MOURN MY FUCKUP. LET ME MOURN IT IN PEACE. Chiim: *sighs and puts on a placating smile and tone* How can I help you, revered mother? ... Josie: yes, and we’ll take care of it LATER right now give the Chiimquisitor a BREAK Chiim: bless u, josie. b l e s s y o u

Chiim immediately bonds greatly with Morrigan, mostly over talking about her son. Chiim likes her son. Morrigan is a bit cagey about him, but also likes to talk about him. She’s a proud mother.

(Fun fact: Keiran is probs also trans because Cloudy is dfab and had babbu with Morrigan which means SHENANIGANS were at play and what I’m saying here is that Keiran takes after his trans father) (Speaking of Cloudy shenanigans, he and Zevran have a daughter. She is very cute. During the pregnancy Cloudy refused to see anyone and they disappeared off the map for about 9 months. But afterwards Cloudy comes back and is like !!!!! LOOK AT THIS SMOL!!! I MADE HER!! Zevran helped I guess WOW SHE’S SO CUTE AND GREAT AND SMART) (she grows up to be an absolute terror. Daughter of the warden commander and the leader of the antivan crows, daughter of TWO rogues, one of whom doubles as an assassin? oh pranks and things going missing FOR D A Y S ON END shenanigans never stop) (I have a lot more hcs and things about Cloudy & Zevran’s child - who has a ~mysterious~ older half-brother in keiran - but this is a chiimquisitor post so we continue with the chiimquisition) (sidebar mishka and anders don’t have any kids of their own but they totally adopt like every single child, dog, and cat that comes anywhere near them, their house is super big and always crazy and it’s fantastic; there’s also a chicken. The kids named the chicken cupcake. Main suspects for the chicken’s origin is Aunt Merrill but there have been no confirmations.)

Chiim: Will his... father, be joining us as well? Morrigan: *thinks about cloudy gallivanting off with zevran for a cure to the calling* tis... most unlikely (At that point in time, Cloudy was also experiencing the feeling of the fake calling, but was pregnant with daughter, and just blamed it on the hormones. And Zevran, of course, being neither a warden nor someone who experiences the monthly upheaval that is periods let ALONE pregnancy, just takes his word for it. Sigrun acts as their cover story, telling everyone’ they’re off investigating the calling. Totally works.) (There’s a reason Cloudy’s letter to the inquisition basically read “sounds cool but not my fight have fun I’ll vaguely support from a distance”)

Josie: so. Uh. After the events at the grand ball, apparently Florianne’s trade routes got all tied up, so they sent her over for... judgement. Chiim: Are you SERIOUS??? She’s dead! Box: *flies buzz* Josie: ...and that was the time allotted for a rebuttal. There is- forgive me. *coughs* there is... an odor. Chiim: *clears throat* WHAT FRESH LEVEL OF BULLSHITTERY Chiim: anyways I guess there’s a precedence for this so let’s just send the routes back to them aND GET RID OF THAT BOX (Chiim has clearly been spending Way Too Much time in the library with Dorian if they know about this rANDOMASS PRECEDENCE)

Chiim: I’m worried about my gardening buddy, Blackwall. Josie: Oh? Why’s that? Chiim: he took me out for drinks and then told me about how a dog was killed in his childhood and he didn’t do anything about it???? and then he got weirdly quiet and just left???? like Blackwall. What. The fuck????? Josie: that is strange Chiim: he left a letter on his rockinggriffon. I’m gonna track him down. Josie: please do. I worry about him sometimes.

(side note: if blackwall ever finishes that rockinggriffon it can be a baby shower gift for Cloudy & Zevran and their new bundle of joy heh)

Cassandra: blah blah divine I don’t know what to do but I know what i SHOULD do Chiim: hold up, if neither of you are priestesses and you can be divine, why can’t I be the divine? Cassandra: Well, you’re a man, for one. Plus I think they’re afraid of you. Chiim: Cassandra. My dear. It was a joke. I’m an atheist, tal-vashoth qunari. You couldn’t PAY me enough to be the divine.

(In all honesty though Chiim would have made for a fantastic scout, like WHO decided Chiim ought to be in charge of Politics and all these Important Things???? Cassandra why are we letting u make these decisions)

Sera: Ugh, that place. Should have thrown in some bees and slammed the door. Chiim: I dunno, seems more like a job for earwigs to me. Sera: Y E S

Chiim: *hanging out on the roof* Hey, Sera, what do you think of Dorian? Sera: You’re having it off with him, you don’t need me talking. (But I do anyway ;D) Chiim: *laughs* more than one thing is having off when I’m with him, harr harr Sera: Ew, gross! *laughs and happily bumps shoulders with Chiim*

So you know how elfroot has been lore/meta confirmed for being a recreational drug? And you know how it’s confirmed that the inquisitor has a strange obsession with it? Yeah, well only those in the inner circle know how laughable it is that Chiim indulges in the stuff: the only indulging happening here is haPPY GARDENING. heh.

Chiim: *talks to solas, mentions how much they’re torn up about briala* Solas: ... what? why do I care? oooh the elf thing, yeah, I don’t think of myself as an elf so... Chiim: I try to have a moment, why do i even try, it’s SOLAS, he’s a shitbag...

Chiim: What’s your thoughts on elvhen culture? Solas: ... ask Sera, she’s got... opinions. Chiim: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS SERA BASHING YOU RUDEASS SHITHOLE Solas: sorry. I’m just... jealous. Sorry. Chiim: damn right.

ps when Chiim was first learning to be an assassin 100% they would stealth, sneak up behind unsuspecting companions, stab them in the ankle with a butter knife and yell “I STAB U IN THE LEG AND ABSCOND” and laugh hysterically as they run away Dorian is just standing there like “did u just poke me with your fingernail??”

Vivienne wants the heart of this wyvern, and won’t tell Chiim what for... Chiim is slightly suspicious, but is gonna do it anyways. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here like THIS BETTER NOT BE AN ANDERS BETRAYAL AGAIN DOn’T YOU DO THAT TO ME VIVIENNE

Dorian: and now you’ve got an empress eating out of your hand, makes for a perfect mental image Chiim: (dorian what are you thinking??? is this a kink thing????) Dorian: all this dancing, murder, politics, almost makes me a bit homesick Chiim: so we should do that kind of thing again? Dorian: watch as you twist an entire empire around your little finger? *bedroom voice* ABSOLUTELY. Chiim: so it.... IS a kink thing??? I don’t get it, but ok. ... Chiim: wanna makeout against this dragon statue over here? Dorian: sure, I’m down Chiim: nice