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mageicalwishes · 5 years ago

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Crying In My Dress - Chapter 7

Read on AO3: here

Read the previous chapter (on Tumblr): here

Summary: The Leaver’s Ball marks the end of the school year. The end of their time at Watford. Baz has a confession to make before it’s too late. But, will he ever pluck up the courage to tell Simon how he feels?

Inspired by the song “Prom Dress” by Mxmtoon.

Chapter: 7/7

Words: 4,524

Simon

I break our lips apart, leaning back on my knees. I glance down, revelling in the sight of him sprawled out under me. He looks wrecked - His long hair fanned out over the pillow, gazing up at me hazily. His usually colourless lips have a faint, rosy tinge to them, flushed with the force of our kissing (I suspect mine are in a similar state). It’s like, somehow, I’ve kissed life into him - My lips waking his body up. It’s exhilarating. Looking at him like this, it’s like I’m really seeing him for the first time. No more impenetrable walls stand between us, blocking my view - I can finally just see him. And, I can see all of him - Not just the carefully constructed version of himself he usually lets me see. I love it. I love him like this. He's exactly where I want him. He looks … Smaller, somehow. Vulnerable. Open. Not a monster. Not a villain. Just … A boy. Oh shit - A boy. Well, I guess this means I’m Gay, then? Or? Well, I thought I liked Agatha. But that never felt like this - Although, it did feel like something. I mean, I asked her out. I wouldn’t do that if I was Gay … Would I? Fuck, maybe I’m Bi then. I don’t know. I mean, I guess I’m at least something not Straight. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I mean, I definitely like this. And, I guess that's all I really need to know right now. I’ll figure the rest out later.

“You okay there, Snow? You look like you're thinking. I don’t want you to strain yourself,” Baz teases, smirking up at me.

"Hilarious," I deadpan, leaning my head down, and crashing my lips against his once more - Drawing a delightful, surprised hum from Baz.

Reluctantly, I pull away from him again. As if entranced- Baz pushes himself upwards, trailing after my lips with his, in a desperate attempt to recapture them. It’s adorable, and I’m powerless to stop the small giggle that escapes me. He steels himself self-consciously, flashing me an unimpressed scowl, as his cheeks flush a ferocious shade of red. I grin, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck.

“Come on, Baz,” I mumble, moving to look at him once again. “I wasn’t laughing at you. I just thought it was cute.”

“Gross, Snow,” he says, his tone teasing. “If I knew you were such a sap, I never would have let you kiss me.”

“Yeah, right. You so would’ve ... And, if anyone is a sap, it’s definitely you,” I challenge, poking a finger to the centre of his chest.

He raises an eyebrow at me, a warning look spread across his face.

“Alright, alright," I relent. "No more teasing. I was just going to say that, as much as I’m enjoying this, we really should get a move on. The party started nearly an hour ago.”

“Oh right. Of course. I’d sort of … Forgotten about that. Sorry,” he murmurs.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t exactly my main focus, either. It’s just … You know. It’s probably our last chance to see everyone. And, I wanna give Watford a proper goodbye - This place was pretty much all I had for the longest time. I always hated Summer, because it meant I couldn’t be here. It - It means a lot to me, you know? This is the first, and only, place I could ever really call home - This stuffy old room, with my insufferable roommate,” I say, scrunching a hand into his hair and tugging on it lightly. “I don’t want to miss out on anything I have left. I know that Watford isn’t exactly ... the same for you - So, if you don’t feel up to it, you can stay. No worries. But, I think I’d still like to go.”

He huffs out a laugh, then. “Missing out on a chance to see the Chosen One drunk - I don't think so," he says, shuffling out of bed, and reaching a hand down to me in offering. "Come on, Snow. Let's go and give you the proper send-off you deserve."

————————————————————————————

Baz

Snow has gone unusually quiet, walking in silence besides me. He's clasping my hand tightly, swinging our arms together between us. He's trying to hide it, but I can tell something is wrong. He's scuffing his shoes along the pavement with every step he takes, as if he’s trying to delay our arrival as much as possible, without stopping outright.

“What’s wrong, Snow?" I ask. "You’re acting even more peculiar than usual. I thought that you wanted to go to the party?”

"I do want to," he whines, pouting slightly. "It's nothing. Don't worry."

“No. It’s something. Spill,” I insist.

“I just - I’m just not sure.”

“About what?” I ask.

“Us.”

My heart skips a beat and my stomach lurches uncomfortably - His confession knocking the wind right out of me.

I stop dead in my tracks. Of course. I should’ve known that all of this was too good to be true. “Oh," I mumble, dejected. "Well, I can just go back to Mummers, then.”

“What? Why?" He asks, furrowing his brow, and turning to face me. I don't answer, a thick knot blocking my throat. His eyes widen then, realisation clearly hitting him. "Oh god! No. No. No. Baz. You’ve got the wrong idea. I didn’t mean that,” he says, grabbing hold of my arms, his eyes wild with panic. “I didn’t mean that. I - I just meant that at the party, I’m not sure - Well, I’m not sure I want to like kiss and stuff. Because, you know, lots of people kiss at parties, but … I’m not sure I want to. Well, no. I mean, I want to kiss you. I just maybe don’t want to do it in front of everybody. I’m not sure I’m ready for that … Not yet, anyway. I- I mean, Is that okay?”

I find myself smiling, all of my stress melting away in an instant. That stupid, charming, bumbling moron. “Snow. I’ve managed to restrain myself perfectly well for the last eight years. I’m certain I can handle a few hours more,” I deadpan. “I understand. So, don’t worry about it. We won’t do anything you don’t want. So, you've got it - No kissing. Sounds easy enough to me,” I say, softening my voice slightly. That’s a definite lie - Refraining from kissing Snow is no easy feat. It was challenging enough as it was, but now that I’m allowed to ... Now that I know he wants me to - Trying to control that impulse has taken on a whole new level of difficulty. But I'm sure I'll manage - I've always prided myself on my level of self control. I understand, of course. I imagine all of this has been a bit of a shock to the system for him. I mean, he didn’t even realise how he felt himself until a couple of hours ago, and we certainly haven’t held ourselves back. It took me years to come out after I had realised I was Gay - So, I was hardly expecting Snow to out himself to the entire year within hours of realising he was ... Well, whatever he is.

“Okay,” he breathes, clearly relieved. “Thanks, Baz.”

"You don't need to thank me, Snow. It's no trouble,” I explain.

He smiles up at me then, dropping his arms back down and taking hold of my hands again. Rolling forwards onto his tip-toes, he pushes himself upwards, placing a chaste peck to my lips. "Softy," he teases, turning and darting off down the street. The cheeky bastard.

I chase after him, catching up with him easily (Vampirism does have a few perks, after all). I push him up against the nearest lamppost, holding him by the collar of his T-shirt. “Take it back,” I threaten.

“Or what?” he teases, a devilish grin spread across his face. I raise an eyebrow, unsure of where he intends for this to go. “Okay. Okay,” he concedes. “Fine. I take it back.”

I smirk, pleased with myself. “Come along then, Snow,” I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him forwards. “That’s quite enough messing about, you absolute nightmare. I thought you said you didn’t want to be late.”

————————————————————————————

Everything about this is incredibly overwhelming. The room is dark, lit only by a set of gaudy lights, that are flashing in my eyes aggressively. Droves of people surround me, dancing and singing loudly. And, obnoxiously loud music is booming out of the speakers- The bassline hammering within my chest like a second heartbeat. And then, there’s Simon. We’d spent the majority of the night moving person to person, chatting and joking around with them all (apparently Snow is friends with everyone). He’d even gone so far as to drag me into playing a game of 'Truth or Dare' with him, Trixie, Keris, and some guy I vaguely recognised from Elocution. But now, he’s spinning around me, dancing like a mad man, his curls wild, and beaming with joy. He’s definitely a little tipsy - Having insisted that we both down three Double Rum and Cokes (Which tasted absolutely appalling). He’s moving his hands all over me, seemingly incapable of letting me go for even a second. Charmingly, he can’t quite seem to decide where he wants to place them - Pulling me close by my waist one moment, and twirling me around the room, his hands clinging onto my shoulders, the next. It’s chaotic, but so exhilarating. He’s so alive, he’s overfilling with it - Energy pouring out of him in waves. And, it’s as though it’s seeping into me, lighting me up from within, so that I can feel it too. Alive. So, so alive. Finally.

I will admit, I’m a bit out of the depth. I’ve been to parties before, of course, but never one like this. There is no Champagne or calming piano here, just cheap beer and toneless house music. Although mercifully, Snow (who appears to be in his element), is leading me through it. He’s laced our hands together now (so that we move as one), and is throwing us around the dance-floor in wild, uncoordinated circles.

“Baz,” he shouts, his voice barely audible over all the racket.

“Yeah”

“Come with me, yeah?” he says, tugging on my hand and turning away from me.

Slightly dazed, I follow behind him, letting him drag me out of the room and up the stairs. “Snow, where on earth are you taking me?”

“Shhh. Wanna take you somewhere,” he mumbles, distracted, opening a random door and peering in. Apparently unsatisfied, he turns us away, leading me further down the corridor. He pulls another door open, whispering out a quiet “Perfect”, as he drags us inside.

He’s taken us into small, dimly lit storage cupboard - And, to be perfectly frank, I’m struggling to understand exactly what about it is 'Perfect'. But, before I have the opportunity to ask, he's shoving me back against the wall roughly. For a brief moment, I think he’s going to try to fight me, but then his hands are knotting themselves into my hair, and his lips are smashing against mine. He’s kissing me hungrily, putting all his force behind it. It’s all teeth and tongue, but I find it alarmingly hot (Because I’m disturbed, ask anyone). It may be more than a little clumsy, his chin constantly bumping against mine, but I don’t care. Because, Simon Snow is kissing me like his life depends on it - Relentless and desperate. And, it’s intoxicating. He pulls back slightly, gasping in a breath, and dropping his hands down to my waist. I chuckle quietly at the absurdity of it all - I never would've guessed that this is how my day would turn out when I woke up this morning (Not that I'm complaining, obviously. This is far better than anything I had envisioned).

“Snogging in a cupboard, Snow. Really?” I taunt. “And they say romance is dead.”

He huffs, rolling his eyes at me. “God. Just shut it, you insufferable prat. You didn’t seem to care about that a minute ago - You seemed enthusiastic enough, to me.”

“Hmmm,” I hum, rubbing a thumb against his bottom lip absentmindedly. “I thought you said there would be no kissing”

He flushes an adorable shade of pink. “Oh yeah. Sorry,” he mumbles, shifting his body awkwardly.

“Don’t apologise," I protest. "As you said - I was enthusiastic enough. I was just wondering.”

“Well, nobody can see us here … So, it’s different," he murmurs. "We can kiss when nobody can see. I just … Couldn’t wait any longer.”

My heart floods with warmth, an in-suppressible grin spreading across my face. “Christ, Snow,” I laugh. “You really are impossible. I managed to restrain myself for years, and you couldn’t even manage a few hours.”

“It’s not my fault,” he whines.

I shake my head, helplessly charmed. "You ... Are a complete dolt," I mumble, leaning forwards so that are lips are barely millimetres apart. He smiles against me, the corners of his eyes crinkling up sweetly. And, I close the gap between us - Pressing our lips together once more. We move languidly - Our action unhurried. The kiss is softer than before, but no less impactful - My mind still fogging over helplessly, his lips entirely consuming my thoughts, as my body responds to his touch eagerly. I lift my hands up, caressing his cheekbones slowly - Entirely enraptured by him.

We stay in the privacy of the cupboard, completely lost in one another, for at least another fifteen minutes - Before Snow pulls himself away from me again (Much to my dissatisfaction).

“Did you maybe want to get out of here?" He asks, running a hand through my hair. "We’ve been here for like three hours now, I think it’s time to go home, yeah?"

“Sure, Snow. I'm happy to go whenever. Are you sure you're ready to leave, though? Everyone else will probably be hanging around for at least another half-hour.”

“Yep … I’m bored of sharing you with everybody else,” he says, nonchalantly - As if he hasn’t just set my heart off pounding again.

“Okay,” I whisper, pressing the palms of our interlocked hands together. “Let’s go home.”

————————————————————————————

Simon

I’m no longer tipsy (the light buzz off alcohol having worn off about an hour ago), but somehow, I still feel slightly drunk. Well, not drunk, exactly (I mean I don’t feel dizzy, or out of control, or anything like that) - I guess I just feel a bit … High. Not on drugs, obviously. Just, high on … Well, life. High on the perfect night. High on the party atmosphere. High on Baz. I feel like I’m floating - My mind buzzing with elation. Everything just feels so ... Surreal. We’re walking down the high street, hand-in-hand. I’m belting out the lyrics to some random Taylor Swift song, and Baz is laughing at me (really, properly laughing) - The sound filling my ears, and flooding my body with Serotonin. It's all so new - It's no wonder I can hardly believe that it's real. But it is - I know that it is (There is no way my mind could ever come up with something so wonderful).

I turn to face him. He’s grinning over at me, soft creases visible besides his mouth where his smile has pushed his cheeks upwards. The street lights are shining down on him perfectly, illuminating all the high-points of his face. He looks perfect like this - All happy and carefree. His smile has always been prettier than his scowl (Although, I hardly ever got to see it before today). Suddenly overcome, I stop - My heart urging me to get closer to him, somehow. Without thinking, I grab ahold of his shoulders, hoisting myself up onto his back in a quick, clumsy motion. Caught off guard, he stumbles slightly, his hands gripping onto my thighs tightly in an attempt to support me.

“Crowley, Snow! He yelps. “You could’ve given me some warning before just launching yourself onto me."

I can tell he’s not really mad - The slight, upwards curl of his lips betraying his stern tone. “Oh hush, you,” I tease. “You have your vampire super-strength thingy. Don’t try and pretend like you can’t carry me easily.”

He goes quiet then, shifting his grip on my leg slightly. Shit - I didn’t mean to bring that up.

“Hey, Baz, " I coo, trying to comfort him. "I know you're - You know, what you are. You don’t have to lie about it anymore. I know ... And, I don’t care. Okay?” .

“You should care,” he says, his voice small.

I shrug, resting my chin against his shoulder. “Maybe. But I don’t. So don’t … Freak out. It’s fine. Honest. I like you just as you are.”

He huffs out a shaky breath. “I’d never … Never a person,” he mumbles. He doesn't elaborate any further, but I know what he means. I press a gentle kiss to the column of his throat, hoping to reassure him.

“I know. I know you’d never do that ... You’re good, Baz. I know it,” I say earnestly. "I know you wouldn't - I've never thought that you would."

————————————————————————————

We walked in silence after that. I was beginning to panic, actually - Convinced that I'd managed to ruin everything, accidentally pushing Baz into retreating behind his walls once again. But, just as the sun began to rise, I felt it - His fingers slowly running along my thigh, smoothing along the fabric of my jeans soothingly. It was hesitant, his touch barely-there, but it meant everything to me - Because, I knew what it meant. He was still there with me - Standing open, his walls little more than rubble at his feet. We were still alright. And, he was still mine.

————————————————————————————

Baz

Snow walks out of the bathroom, his hands balled into fists at his sides as if he was preparing for a fight. I drop my book onto my beside cabinet, flashing him a nervous smile. He paces across the room, stopping besides my bed, and standing over me awkwardly.

“Can I?" He asks, hovering his hand above the corner of my duvet. "I don’t have to sleep in it with you ... Not if you don’t want me to. I just want to - You know, for a bit,”

I nod my head, granting him permission. “You can. If you want. I mean - You can sleep here too, if you want,” I explain, my voice barely a whisper.

He grins, clambering into my bed - Swinging a leg over my body, and accidentally kneeing the side of my stomach painfully. “Snow, you absolute clutz,” I complain. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to lay on the right side,” he huffs.

I chuckle lightly, leaning over to pick up my wand, as he settles besides me in the bed. Shoving the bedside cabinet over slightly, I cast a quick “Room for Two” spell. A moment later, the bed shakes, before doubling in size with a sudden jolt. I’ve lived with Snow long enough to know that he prefers sleeping in a ridiculous, outstretched starfish position - So, if he intends to stay here all night, the spell is definitely necessary. I refuse to be woken up by getting shoved out of my own bed.

“Wicked,” he breathes. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Hmmm. We’ll add that to the long, long list of things you don’t know then, Snow,” I tease, stretching over to lay my wand back down.

He punches my arm jokingly in retaliation - Grumbling out a quiet "You’re such a prick."

“I know,” I say, flashing him a wicked grin, as I settle back down into bed. We’re facing each other now, barely six inches apart. Our eyes meet, and I’m suddenly nervous, my face filling with heat. Smiling softly, he reaches out, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“You okay?” He whispers.

I nod, not trusting my voice.

“Good,” he says, shifting closer to me - Bumping our foreheads together lightly. “Me too.”

We lay in silence for a while. And as always, I find myself focusing on him. His breathing is slow and steady, air softly puffing against my face with his every exhalation. But, his pulse is rapid, his heart hammering erratically within his chest.

“Did you get the send-off you wanted then, Snow?” I ask, keeping my voice hushed, careful not to startle him.

“Hmmm,” he hums, his eyes fluttering open. “It was perfect”

“Good” I say, sweeping my fingers along his side gently.

He shifts himself then, swinging a leg over mine, and pulling our bodies closer together - Enveloping me in his heat. He snuggles his face against my neck, his bronze curls tickling my chin slightly.

“Baz?’ He mumbles. “Are we … I mean are we like together now?

My body tenses, suddenly apprehensive. “Well, it depends. Is that something that you would want?” I ask, hesitantly. He shrugs, squeezing his eyes closed. Unsure, I continue. “If it helps … That’s definitely something that I would want. I’ve wanted that for a long time, actually. So, it’s really up to you, Snow. I know my answer.” I pause, taking in a deep breath, and gazing down at him. “There’s no pressure, though. I mean … You don’t have to decide what you want right away. If you need more time, I’d understand.”

He opens his eyes then, a shy smile flickering across his face. Leaning forwards slightly, he pulls me into a deep kiss, his free hand smoothing across my chest as our lips move together. After a moment, we break apart - My lips still flooded with warmth from the contact. “I think I want that too,” he breathes, squeezing my waist gently. “I mean ... This is definitely better than fighting.”

My heart swells, an all too unfamiliar wave of joy washing over me. Simon really wants this. He really wants me. Alesteir Crowley, I can hardly believe that this is real life. The way we were - There wasn’t a day where I believed that we’d both live through it. And yet, here we are - Talking about a future. Talking about a future together, no less. Unbelievable.

“But … What about tomorrow?”

“What about it?” I ask, confused.

‘Well, we’re leaving. I mean … Will we still see each other?”

“Well I should bloody well hope so, Snow,” I scoff. “It was my understanding, that being together usually involves at least some level of physical interaction."

“Oh right, yeah. Obviously. But - I mean … Aren’t you going to London?”

“Well, yeah. But, I’m not leaving until September - We have the whole Summer before then." I explain. "Do you know where you’ll be this Summer? I know they ... Move you around quite a lot.”

He scrunches his face up awkwardly, clearly embarrassed. “No," he mumbles. "But, The Mage wants me to stay with him. So ... I may just be here. It was nice of him to offer - I mean, he even said that I could have a room in his private apartments. But … I’m not really sure I want to."

I brush a rogue curl off of his face, smoothing a hand through his hair. “So, what is it that you do want, Snow?”

“Well ... Penny said that I could spend Summer at her house. I think - I think that I’d like that.”

“Then go for it. The Mage isn’t in control of your life, Simon. You are. Go and stay with Bunce, I’m sure she’d be overjoyed to have you,” I reassure. He flashes me a soft smile, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. “And, about us,” I continue. “You could always just catch a train down to Hampshire - Or, I could come to you, obviously. I could pay for all your tickets and everything, if need be - It’s really no hassle. I'd love for you to visit. And ... Thinking beyond Summer, there are always trains going into London. So, if you wanted us to be together, I see no real reason why it should matter that we’d no longer be living here. We could still make it work." I cringe slightly - Aware of how desperate I must sound. But, in my defence, I've pined after Simon Snow for eight years now - I couldn't bear losing him to something as surmountable as physical distance now. Not after tonight.

“Okay,” he murmurs. “Then … Yes”

“Yes, what?” I ask, hope bubbling up within my chest.

“Yes to being together, you numpty,” he says, beaming up at me brightly. I mirror him, a wide grin cracking across my face. I chuckle, bumping our noses together, before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“So that’s it then? We’re like proper boyfriends now,” he says, disbelieving.

“Boyfriends,” I echo, the reverence clear in my voice. I like the sound of that - Simon Snow … My boyfriend. Christ - How outstanding.

He giggles, his nose scrunching up adorably. “You’re such a sap,” he goads, his voice light with laughter. I quirk my brow, unimpressed. “I actually can’t believe you. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, who would’ve thought?” He continues, lacing his hands together behind my neck. Mesmerised, I reach up, gripping his forearms. "I love it. I love it so, so much” he mumbles, before crashing our lips together into another bruising kiss.

Simon

I flip us over suddenly, gripping his wrists and pressing him down into the mattress beneath me.

"What on earth are you doing, you absolute barbarian?" He giggles, shaking his head.

I lean down, peppering light kisses across his face and neck, punctuating every press of my lips to his skin with a mumbled "Mine." The word feels good in my mouth. Mine. Baz is all mine, and I've got him exactly where I want him. Brilliant.

He starts fidgeting beneath me, trying to shake my grip from his wrists. "Stop it, you moron. It tickles,” he laughs.

I lean back, basking in the sight of him. His usually pale grey cheeks have flushed a delightful shade of pink, and he's beaming up at me, his eyes alive and sparkling. My heart squeezes within my chest - A happy warmth flooding my chest and spreading throughout my body.

"Possessive much, Snow?" He teases, an amused smirk adorning his face.

I raise my eyebrows, trying to copy his usual expression - Although I can’t seem to lift only one of them, so it doesn’t really work. “Don’t try and pretend like you don’t like it. You’re blushing,” I taunt, running a thumb across his right cheek.

He squints up at me, casting me a murderous glare. But, he smiles then, the soft quirk of his lips betraying the ferocity of his look. It’s painfully endearing - Seeing him trying to maintain his hard exterior so desperately, even when I already know that, deep down, he’s just as soft as anybody in love.

“Just shut up and kiss me, you disaster,” he sighs, lifting himself up and claiming my lips once more.

#carry on #wayward son #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch

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softbookboi · 5 years ago

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Spin The Bottle (a snowbaz fanfic) Chapter 2

Summary: The Eighth Years are playing Spin The Bottle at a party. When Simon sees that his ex-girlfriend Agatha cheated to kiss Baz, he decides to get revenge. During the next game, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Simon cheats and gets himself and Baz in the closet together. Oh my, what could they possibly do in the closet?

Baz

I hardly get any sleep the whole night, just a few hours before dawn because I'm too worked up on the fact that I snogged Simon Snow. Sure, I'll have to avoid him now since I've lost face but still. I can't face him after pouncing on him in the closet and getting carried away enough to let everyone know exactly what was going on in there.

I know it was a one-time thing; a game, but I just can't stop thinking about it and craving it more and more every passing second. Before, I used to think that just a snog or a peck from Snow would be enough for me, and I could live my life peacefully (kind of) afterward, but now I'm nowhere near peaceful. I've been freaking out since last night and couldn't stop pondering over what could've happened if we hadn't been walked in on. Well, I might've devoured him right then and there, and confessed my feelings. If it were anyone else, I'd be worried that they would've worked out that I had feelings for them, but since it's Snow and his thick arse, I'm not too worried. Sure, he will most likely hate me even more now, but Snow's way too dense to figure that out.

The git probably just thinks that I was taking my hormonal-teenage-boy needs out on him, or that that was a part of my plotting. The clueless wanker.

I've still embarrassed myself in front of him though, and now I have to avoid him. I'll probably stop sneering and glaring at him too since that involves making eye contact and I'm not ready for that yet.

Somehow, I end up waking up before the gorgeous bastard today, and sneakily make my way to the wardrobe, grab my uniform and dash to the bathroom to take an even longer shower today, hoping that by the time I step out, he'll be long gone downstairs at breakfast.

As I stand under the pour of the sweltering water, letting it drench my hair and body, I can faintly make out the sound of sheets rumpling outside and then a loud booming sound of Snow thrashing around in the room. I roll my eyes at his indiscreet loudness and continue showering, wondering why in heaven's name do I love this idiot?

Simon

I wake up to the sound of the shower turning on, and realize that for once, Baz got up before I did. I let out a breath thankfully so that now I don't have to face him. I think about what I discovered last night.

I'm still not 100% sold on the fact that I like Baz but I'm starting to believe it more and more. I'm still freaking out, I haven't stopped freaking since last night. And now I'm even more freaked out since I had some pretty gay dreams about him last night.

I decide not to think about them right now, just to get dressed and head downstairs to talk to Penny about all this. I hastily put on all my clothes and try my best to be quiet about it, but I know I'm failing miserably. I'm nervous and I'm not the most discreet when I'm nervous.

I don't even wanna brush my teeth right now because I know I'll run into Baz and it'll just be too embarrassing after last night.

After making a small racket trying to put on my clothes before Baz gets out, I grab my bag and head out to breakfast, struggling to figure out how I'm going to start the conversation with her about this when I realize that my wand is in the bathroom. Merlin.

I was practicing my spells last night before penny dragged me off, and I accidentally left it there. I can't go without it, it's a school day, for crying out loud.

I slap my hand against my forehead and go back in the room and sit down on my bed. Why? Why did I have to leave it there? Now I'm going to have to face Baz.

I hate myself and my stupid bloody decisions.

I guess there's no other way for me to get my wand without encountering Baz, and I can't leave it there, so I sit on my bed and wait for Baz to come out. I keep fidgeting with my fingers, nervous and filled to the brim with anxiety that he'll just look at me and grasp the knowledge that I have feelings for him. I keep going over the conversation I'll have with him in my head, clarifying that I just wanted my wand, and hopefully doing it without stammering.

Baz is taking longer in the shower today than other days. Could he also be trying to avoid me? I wouldn't doubt it, we both were dumbfounded yesterday when we stopped, it was obvious on his face and I knew it must be in mine too. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that he is trying to avoid me right now by taking a longer shower than usual. I don't know what'll happen later in class (the ones we have together), will he still avoid me? Are we gonna go back to how we were, always shouting and arguing with each other?

As I puzzle over this, the door to the bathroom opens and I brace myself as Baz comes out.

At first, he looks shocked that I'm still here, but then that countenance flees just as quickly as it came and gets replaced by one of a sneer. I can tell though that is a bit flustered because it isn't his usual sneer, it seems a bit...shy? And I'm pretty sure I can make out the faintest flowering of rosy pink on his cheeks. Baz is blushing? I didn't know vampires could blush.

He stares at me for a moment and then moves on to tie his tie and grab his bag. I plod to let out the words I had been practicing but they seem to be caught up in my throat. I stop myself and close my mouth before I start sputtering and out myself. Without looking at me, he speaks up.

"Why aren't you at breakfast, Snow? If you're not there then who's going to gobble all the scones?" Surprisingly, Baz's sentence doesn't seem to have as much mock obscured in it than usual. I like it but at the same time, I'm wondering if Baz is just as phased as I am because of last night. Is he softening up? I don't think so but it would be nice if it were true.

I find my voice concealed in the back of my throat and force it out. "W-well, I, umm, left my wand in the bathroom last night before I got the party, and I never took it back, so..." I trail off, not wanting to finish after successfully bringing up last night, the one thing I was promising myself that I wouldn't bring up. I cringe at myself.

"Well, go get it then, Snow. What are you waiting for? I'm not your servant, I won't get it for you." Once again, Baz didn't have enough mockery in his tone, it seemed too...flustered, caught off guard. I sneak a look at him and see that he's not wearing his signature sneer, instead, he has a soft and kind of embarrassed look adorning his face.

I unconsciously smile a little, liking how cute and small Baz looks when he's like this. I now know that he's definitely flustered from last night and even more so when he saw that I was right here after he took that long shower. Crowley, I am really sure now that I like Baz.

I get up and hurry over to the bathroom, grab my wand and make my way out of the room. While walking, I once again sneak a look at Baz and see that he's running his hands through his hair. He hasn't gelled it back today, he's letting it bounce on his head freely, covering a bit of his face since it's a tad long. I like it this way, he looks more natural, rawer like this. Gelling it back seems like he's masking its beauty and openness about himself.

When did I start thinking like this about Baz?

I would say last night but I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure that I thought that hair thing before but pushed it at the back of my mind so as not to pay attention to it at all.

I leave the room and walk towards the dining hall. As I enter, I see Penny at our usual table and as her gaze wanders over to me, she looks concerned.

Just as I sit down, she starts interrogating me.

"Why are you late? You're literally never late to breakfast unless it's extremely urgent. Now I'm guessing it has something to do with Baz because of what happened last night." She raises a brow at me and nods her head in the direction of the other students.

It's only now I notice the looks people are giving me. Great, just as I expected, everyone knows what happened last night. I ask Penny about what they know exactly and she responds while studying her face with orange juice.

"Well, you're lucky it didn't go too far. Half of the students think that you both were aggressively kissing, which I can assure you is correct, " she adds as she gives me a look, "and others think that you both were so engrossed in that, you started groping each other."

I feel my cheeks turn into a brilliant shade of maroon as I look back at the students. Even the First Years are gawking at me, making no subtle attempt to look away once they see that I've caught them staring. I don't want to admit it, but I think that if we hadn't gotten caught last night and hadn't come back to our senses, it might've gone that far. (I'm not sure that I would entirely hate that).

A shiver glides down my spine from that thought and I distract myself by struggling (the second time this morning) to find the right words to say to Penny.

"Yeah, uh, I actually had left my wand in the bathroom last night, and, um, Baz had gotten up before I did so I had to wait for him to get out of the shower so I could get my wand." Penny nods as I finish.

"Well, I do think that you should talk to Baz about what happened last night. It doesn't seem like the gossip is gonna go away quick."

I gulp and open my mouth, readying myself to say it.

"Penny, I think I l-like Baz," I say in a small voice. I expect her to gasp and accidentally shout it out to everyone as a sign of her shock but she only looks at me with an expression I can't read. Then, she says, "So you finally figured it out, huh?"

I gape at her. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Simon. All this time, you can't be saying that the possibility of crushing on Baz never once occurred to you."

I open my mouth only to close to again. Penny is right. The things I used to do, like talking Baz, they all make much more sense now. I didn't expect Penny to give the gay part much thought and I was right. But I definitely didn't think that she would have already known about this crush before me. I gape at her repeatedly.

"I, I guess you're right."

"Good. Alright, so now, fill me in."

Just as I am about to, I hear someone walking in the doors and turn around to see Baz walking inside. Unlike me, he takes notice of all the stares he's getting and all the whispers about him passing around from table to table.

For the second time today, Baz gets caught off guard and gets flustered easily. I can tell from how he tries his best to ignore everyone and to just walk over to Dev and Niall that he too knew that word was going to spread fast but either just didn't expect it to be that fast or forgot about it. (If he forgot, that must mean he was thinking about something else. Was he thinking about me?).

As he sits down, we accidentally make eye contact and look away at once, not ready to confront what happened. I look back at Penny and she looks a mixture between delighted and amused.

"What?" I ask her.

"Well, you just had an absolutely bewildered expression directed at Baz and you blushed and looked away at once when you made eye contact. It was cute." She says, face still beaming and trying to hide her smirk.

I sigh, drop my face into my hands and tell her everything I thought last night and today morning without once looking at her for fear that she might see the red rising on my cheeks caused by saying all of those thoughts out loud and tease me more about it. About midway, I see some commotion over at Baz's table and look over to see Dev and Niall laughing quite...teasingly, catching the attention of nearby tables and Baz hiding his face in his hands.

I frown, confused, but ignore them (for now) and continue with what I was telling Penny.

When I finally finish, breakfast is over and everyone's starting to head out classes. I grab my bag and stand up, both of us walking out and going towards the class.

I dare to look at her and see that she's smiling softly now as if trying to reassure me. And somehow that smile made me feel a lot better about this crush, only now I'm not sure whether this is just a crush or something bigger cause it seems like I've been having these feelings since a few years back, probably Fifth Year when I started following Baz around everywhere.

I shake these thoughts away from my head and sit down at my desk when I reach my first class of the day. I intend on not thinking about any of this all day and ignoring the whispers, and then maybe talking to Baz about this after classes. Maybe. I'm not going to out myself before I find out whether he feels the same for me or not, and something tells me that it's going to be extra hard to find a good time to talk to Baz about this stuff.

Baz

I definitely didn't expect Snow to still be there when I got out, so I was caught off guard and I think he noticed it. I'm pretty sure he did. Because I felt flustered (Crowley, what is Snow doing to me?), I couldn't properly look him in the eye and my sneer wasn't as vicious, and nor were my words.

I thought he was going to start talking about last night and I panicked a bit, but relaxed when he told me about the wand. After he left, I recovered from the sudden burst of softness and headed downstairs. I wasn't going to be caught off guard once again so I readied myself before walking in the dining hall.

I had been thinking about Snow so much that I forgot people might already be aware of what happened. So I got flustered for the second time in one morning. I did my best to ignore them and keep it cool but the accidental eye contact with Snow whilst sitting down on my table ruined that and I started avoiding their eyes, even my friends who were now trying to keep their smiles in.

I don't risk sneaking glances at Snow but I know that he must be explaining to Bunce that he had nothing to do with the kiss that happened.

I really don't want to deal with everyone right now because I am insanely embarrassed by my wanton doings from last night and how Snow was either thought I snogged him like that because I was plotting (the bloody git always thinks I'm plotting) or he actually figured out my feelings for him. I know that Snow is thick, but he couldn't have figured it all out by now. And even if he didn't (which is next to impossible), Bunce must've. She's bloody smart enough to have known that I had been in love with Snow all along, but I don't think she did, because she would've told him by now or hexed me.

It doesn't matter now though, Snow is surely planning a way to use my feelings as leverage to himself and is snickering about them. I drop my face into my hands.

I didn't bring any food, just sat down and had a hunch (hoped) that the stares would lessen after a few minutes and everyone would go back to their own stuff, but apparently, I was mistaken because no one is showing any signs of leaving me alone. I catch a glimpse into Snow's life for a moment and even though I like attention, I don't like it when it's because of a stupid Seven Minutes In Heaven story. What are we, Third Years?

I contemplate just getting up and going to my first class early, but that means having to swim through a crowd of curious, amused, bored, smug and shocked eyes that aren't blanketed well and that would just ogle at me even more and frankly, I can't take that. So I just sit there, head in my hands, feeling the eyeballs of the students boring holes into me, as if expecting for me to get intimidated or break and just stand up and shout why Snow and I were practically rolling around last night. Of course, that is until Dev starts conversing with me.

"Aww, Baz, are you that embarrassed about the whole school knowing about you and Snow groping each other last night?" Dev said in a sickly sweet voice and Niall snickered. I plan to disdain them but I something in Dev sentence catches my eye.

"Grope?" I ask, voice filled with uncertainty as if I were expecting a bomb to be dropped on me. As I lift my head, I see that majority of the students, presumably, the ones with an abhorrent hangover, have lost interest in me (not completely though) and there are only Seventh or Eighth Years left who're still gawking, their eyes narrowed in curiosity and suspicion. They're the ones who've tolerated me and Snow bickering and fighting the most over the years, so it's not a surprise that they're the most confused out of all of the students at Watford.

"Yes, Baz. Grope. That's what the rumor going on about you and Snow says." Dev says innocently, but I catch the small of a smirk beginning to craft itself starting at the corners of his mouth.

"We weren't groping each other," I force my mouth into a sneer and eyes into a glare, but it keeps coming out soft. "We were just-" I swallow nervously, both of my best mates enjoying my flustered state, "-snogging. That's nowhere near groping. And why didn't you both stop the rumor? You were there. Bloody hell, the Eighth Years were there. Why the fuck did they not say anything? I bet they didn't even try denying that we were groping. They're just desperate for some new gossip."

"We and the other Eighth Years didn't deny that because, by the looks of it, especially your looks, Baz, it was clear that if you weren't groping then, you'd most certainly be groping a little later into the night, if we hadn't interrupted." Niall retorts, finally revealing his smirk.

My eyes widen a fraction before I put my sneering mask back on again. I'm also pretty sure my neck is coloring, but I'm hoping they won't notice.

"Isn't that adorable? I don't think I've ever seen Baz this flustered before. And his signature sneer is also turning soft. And not to mention he's blushing the most he's ever done." Niall said, making sure to say it loud enough for the tables near ours to hear and the students sitting there to turn there heads towards us and start whispering once more and high-fiving Dev and both of them breaking out in small (but loud) laughs, obviously enjoying this new side of me. Ugh, these wankers.

Unable to come up with a comeback and flustered (yet again), I look down and put my face in my hands again, imagining Dev and Niall getting crushed under my shoe. Those bastards just keep laughing and teasing, so I tune them out and focus on overthinking about Snow.

If I weren't going to ignore him before, I definitely have to ignore him now. These blubbering gits have made sure the others heard their conversation (even the teasing one they're having right now) and the news will definitely travel back to Snow and I'll be even more humiliated. I have to avoid him at all costs.

This is so frustrating because I can't even go back to how I was to him before (not that I think I could, after that kiss) because the glares and sneers are soft now and too many people are interested in this thing between me and Snow to let that slide by. I'll have to ignore him, classes, we have together and avoid him all day long. I'll probably walk the grounds near the Wavering Woods in the afternoon, go to the catacombs at night, and finally return after midnight probably. I'll have to keep this routine up until this Seven Minutes In Heaven gossip dies down, and then I can go back to how I was with Snow before. Oh, sweet Merlin, what have I gotten myself into? Well, at least I'll be able to drain rats in peace, freely every night.

I'm distracted from my thoughts by the class bell. I all but jump out of my seat and gallop towards the door, ready to leave this prison.

I don't dare look back at Snow. I just speed-walk over to my first lesson of the day, preparing myself for the rumors and the gossip and the embarrassment.

Simon

This is even worse than I thought it would be.

Everywhere I go, people are giving me looks and whispering and they're not even bothering to hide it. It's like they want me to hear them and confirm what they're saying. I can hardly concentrate in class with what's going on.

All-day, whether in class or not, people are gossiping about me and Baz. And what's even worse; they're slandering Agatha and Penny.

I'm not that mad at the slanders of Agatha since she kind of deserved them for doing such a horrible thing, but Penny? Penny has never done anything to ruin my life. She has always been supportive and stuck by me during all the terrifying times in my life. She's my best friend and it's sick that people are thinking wrong things about her. I talked to her about this in a free lesson and she said it was okay, that this is just what people do. She said that people always want something to gossip about so bad that they just make stuff up and you just have to accept it and move on. There's no point in going crazy over them because there's nothing we can do to stop them. This is just what people do to other people.

I respect Penny's wisdom, I really do, but it's just so maddening the things people can create out of nowhere. For example, by lunch, people were saying that this morning, Dev and Niall were teasing Baz about kissing me so much that he started blushing and became flustered. Normally, I would've thought that was bullshit (Baz can't blush) but seeing as how flustered he was in the room this morning, there is a chance this was real. But I don't think so.

I don't think so because if he got flustered, that would mean he liked it and that he liked me, and now that it's the end of classes, I'm not sure of anything. Niall the classes we had, the breaks, the free lessons, whenever we bumped into each other accidentally, he never looked at my way once. He didn't sneer or snarl or glare or throw an insult my way. Nothing at all. Maybe this is his plan; to kiss me, make me realize my feelings for him, ignore me, and then drive me crazy so it would be easier to kill me.

Maybe. If it is, then it's definitely working. I can't think straight, the only thought that I've been able to conjure up in my brain in this period of time is I won't kill Baz, I can't kill Baz. Now that I know I have feelings for him, I won't be able to kill him. I just have to try to talk to him now, although I don't even know what I would say. But I have to try.

***

This is proving to be harder than I thought. Once again.

Baz is nowhere to be found. I see him in class sometimes and maybe the hallways and at the dining hall, but that's it. He doesn't look at me at all, doesn't even acknowledge me. He never comes in the room anymore, at least I think he doesn't. If he does, then he's gone before I wake up and comes back in late at night or maybe not at all. I'm pretty sure this is his way of avoiding me.

The rumors have just multiplied. Every time one of us enters a classroom or the dining hall, everyone shuts up for a second and then starts whispering in each other's ears again, looking directly at us. The Penny/Agatha rumors have stopped but that's the only good thing that's come out of this. Even the teachers are getting sick of this.

And it's been a week. A full week.

7 days filled with exasperation directed at these students, agitation because Baz is ignoring me and he's turned into this other person, disturbance in my studies because I can't pay attention class due to all the whispers. And since I don't see Baz anymore, I've lost that sense of familiarity in the room. It hardly smells like him anymore. And I know that sounds weird but I'm desperate.

It feels like torture now. I have to feel the eyes on me everywhere I go. Sure, I used to feel eyes on me before but it was this intense in only First Year when everything was still new and people were still getting used to the fact that the Chosen One (ugh, I really hate this name) was in the school. It gradually got less and less and I got used to it, but I haven't felt those profound gaping in a few years, and them bubbling up all of a sudden once again (and in this type of situation) feels like too much. I had grown accustomed to everyone being friendly, waving while passing me in the hallways, sending greetings flying my way in the morning or at night, and now, unexpectedly, all of that is gone and is replaced by the conspicuous ogling; the deathly glowers of the girls who had something for Baz; the impertinent peers of the teachers, unmistakably speculating why all their students have somehow time-traveled to First Year and are now leering at Simon Snow; and the looks of awe or envy or the knowing giggles people send my way and most likely Baz's way as well.

It all felt too overwhelming. Something I was quite familiar with but still hadn't gotten used to.

At first, I was confounded because this kind of reaction out of the student body caused by a measly snog in a closet—with my arch-nemesis who I have a crush on and was always fighting in the past with, may I add—was something entirely different from the reaction I envisioned in my mind.

Then, it just got a tad demoralizing.

Every time, I walked down the hallway or sat in class or the dining hall to eat and felt the eyes on me and the whispers about me, I felt like they all knew my secret and were judging me for it. It felt like they knew I liked Baz and were silently (well, not really) passing their judgment on it. I know I'm not supposed to like Baz and Merlin, if there was even a tiny chance he liked me back and we were to be an item, I wouldn't care about what others think. It would just be me and Baz. But I'm still a person, I still have insecurities. Them being that I'm the Chosen One, whether I like it or not. I have to destroy the Humdrum, it's my destiny. And I'll do it with Baz on my side, maybe. But what if it's wrong? What if I really shouldn't have feelings for Baz? He is my nemesis, even if he also wants the Humdrum gone too, and I'm his nemesis and we're polar opposites, to say the least. What if I'm abusing my duties as the Chosen One if I'm with Baz, the vampire? What if I let everyone down? And I know. I know that I'm wrong about this. That being with Baz doesn't mean I'm abusing my duties. Even if I am the Chosen One, I'm still a person and I still deserve a normal life and shouldn't worry about disappointing others. I should be with whoever I like, and Baz and I may have our differences but that's what makes him even more alluring and compelling and that's what I like about him the most. Opposites attract. (Of course, that is if he even fancies me, which I doubt.)

But all these false innuendos and murmurs about me and Baz (people are starting to call us Snowbaz, for crying out loud), they're all causing me to believe less and less in my own opinion and I have to get a break from this or I will lose it.

So as a way to get relief, Penny dragged me to another party on Saturday.

I actually wanted to laugh out loud when she said it because the idea was so utterly comical.

I was suffering so bad from a stupid thing that happened at the last party I went to and now she wants to drag me to another one? I love Penny and all but sometimes she acts a little delusional. And this time, I was not going to get dragged into another mess that was impossible to get out of like this one.

But...

Me being the weakling that I am for Penny's puppy dog eyes and her strong, valid arguments and the look that she gives me when she's acting like my parent or big sister that makes me feel kind of whole, agreed and I knew I was falling right into the trap but I still went anyway.

And I have to say, something incredible happened.

Baz

This is a nightmare. My worst and best nightmare.

Everyone's gossiping about me and Snow and quite frankly, I think I'm losing my shit.

It's just getting too hard for me to endure.

I'll be sitting in class or the dining or doing Merlin-knows-what and I'll hear people talking about what's going to happen with me and Snow and for a moment, just a moment, I let myself wonder that he might want something more. That we might morph into something more. But then I'm back to Earth and the sad reality that Snow and I can never happen. He doesn't like me that way and he would hate me even more if he knew that I did.

It feels like a huge pang in the chest and I can practically hear the universe laughing at my pathetic self and my pathetic life and the pathetic hurt that travels over my body in waves when I think about how Snow and I can never be together. And how any chance I had of being his friend or even an acquaintance in school was crushed when he came up to me in First Year and held out his hand and I didn't take it. Well, maybe not at that moment but that definitely started it.

I was just 11 years old. What was I supposed to bloody know about feelings? All I knew was that there was a beautiful boy with beautiful bronze hair and beautiful blue eyes that made me feel all tingly and fluttery inside who was standing in front of me, ready to shake my hand and make me his friend because he was friendly and we were going to be roommates and he had no idea we were supposed to be enemies and if we did become acquaintances or 'friends' then his bloody stubborn and gittish self would have somehow found a way to proceed in life in which we didn't need to kill each other, but I was stupid and young and dumb and didn't know what to do. So I did the thing I thought would work. I made him miserable. I made him angry and sad and annoyed and I even made him cry sometimes in First Year when he wasn't fully that I wasn't going to be his friend but his enemy.

I hate myself for all of that. And I will never forgive myself. And I don't blame him a bit for being incapable of developing feelings toward me.

After feeling all of that; hatred at myself for doing that to Simon who didn't deserve one bloody fucking bit of it; anger at the world for making my life so complicated where I couldn't be with the boy I loved so fucking dearly; morose because whatever I did, nothing could reverse my actions towards him and the universe's decisions to give me this life where I'll never be happy, hearing people continuously whispering about how we probably only acted that we hated each other to hide our feelings and such since we were meant to be enemies and how we should get together and how there was probably a lot of tension between us just made me tumble over the edge.

And that's how I got here. Saturday night, at another goddamn party that isn't going to do me any good, gulping down any kind of drink in my sight in hopes that it would help me rid myself of my feelings for Simon bloody fucking Snow, the Chosen One.

Of course, it doesn't work. But it does make me completely wasted. And that makes me temporarily forget all my problems. And even though I'm going to have a terrible tomorrow, I just can't bring myself to care and stop this. I can barely think properly, or see properly. And I don't trust myself to keep my secrets to myself so I try to stay clear of other people so that my stupid mouth doesn't accidentally say the wrong thing to the wrong person.

I've been at this party for about an hour and am completely wasted, sitting on a bar seat and spewing out nonsense when I see a familiar head of brown locks.

I whip my head around and I think I see Snow there for a second. And...yeah, there he is. Entering with a whining Bunce who's saying something about how he'll enjoy this with a somber look on his face that screamed out "I wanna go home and sulk about something that's on my mind but I can't because my best friend dragged me here and I can't resist them."

Trust me, I know that look and could recognize it very easily.

I watch him as he scans the rooms and his eyes land on me. They widen a bit and I giggle because he just looks so cute with that expression. They widen even more and threaten to burst out of his eye sockets as he catches my giggle.

He ignores Bunce pulling him to the side and jogs on over to me, sitting in the bar seat adjacent to mine. He looks over at me and opens his mouth but no sound comes out and just closes it again.

I grin at him and raise my brow, indicating that I want to hear what he was found to say. He manages to stutter out a few words.

"Uhh, Baz, I-I didn't know uhh that you'd be here," he says. I smile wider, liking that I caught him off guard.

"Well, I didn't expect you either, yet here you are. Looks like we both have just the best friends, don't we?"

He looks even more surprised now, probably wondering why in the bloody hell I'm actually talking to him. Normally, I would've told him to piss off, especially with all these rumors flying about, but since I'm infused with a ton of alcohol at the moment, my brain isn't working very well and the thought of actually talking to Snow and catching him off guard like this is really amusing.

"So Snow, apparently you almost went off today. What was that about?"

He has a look of understanding across his face now, like he knows that I'm wasted and that that's why I'm talking to him. He hesitates for a minute but then rolls his eyes in a way that shows he's thinking something like 'Fuck it all' and just starts ranting.

"Well, I had just gotten back from the Mage's office and he had told me something about how I was letting all this school stuff get to me—" his breath hitches and he looks panicked for a moment, probably because he just admitted that the rumors people were passing around about the possibility of us were affecting him to me, his arch-nemesis and the person who people were 'shipping' him with, but then he remembers that I'm drunk and just keeps on talking because of course, I wouldn't remember this tomorrow, "—and not fighting up to my full potential, which is something he says quite a lot, and that I wasn't focusing on important stuff, just the stupid high school lovesick stuff that 'isn't and will enter be important'. He always just expects me to keep fighting off things the Humdrum sends and not have any social life or do things other than being a 'hero'. He said that 'heroes' like us needn't let our attention stray from what is our duty."

"I wouldn't really call someone who never even shows up at the school whose headmaster he is, a hero. Besides, it's not like he's doing anything good. He's just making you fight off these other creatures the Humdrum sends to terrorize the mages and you, and not doing anything helpful, like actually catching the Humdrum or destroying him. All he ever does is let you kill the small obstacles but is too petrified to actually make a move towards the real problem. He says you both are heroes but actually, he's a coward who wants to be the most powerful and most respected mage ever and he makes you do all that for him when you're the actual hero. You're the one who kills these things and actually tries to get work done and to track the Humdrum. All he ever does is watch from afar and take credit. You're the hero, not him. And frankly, you're letting yourself be manipulated into his game and be used as a pawn. And if you don't do something about it soon, it'll be too late."

At first, he looks like he's actually considering what I'm saying to be true. Like he might agree with me on the Mage. I know Bunce and her family don't like the Mage either, and she's smart so she must've figured this out and told him this before, but he would've most likely shot the possibility down since he's the Mage's pet. But hearing it for the second time from someone else actually got in his head. And now he's thinking about it. But when I started on the part where he's the actual hero, he locked his gaze on me and stared at me with an awed expression and I could easily catch the pink blossoming on his cheek. I guess hearing your enemy admit that you're a hero gives you the motivation you need.

He's carefully avoiding my eyes now. I don't know why. Perhaps he's so humble that he couldn't even gloat and get his confidence boost from my confession. Whatever. Anyways, he looks adorable when he blushes. He starts fidgeting with his fingers and looks down, and is even more tongue-tied than usual.

"I don't know why you're blushing so hard. I'm only speaking the truth." I say, and he flushes even more.

"I just—it seems—I just never expected you to compliment me, out of a-all people."

"Why? Just because I'm the villain in your story doesn't mean that I don't know the truth. And it's not like I'm so bad at processing the truth that I just lose all control. I know how to handle myself. Believe me. And I've dealt with a much more painful truth than that, so there's nothing I can't handle, Snow."

He looks down. It's as if he feels guilty, or if there's a something that's weighing him down on his shoulders. And then, he speaks. Softly, faintly. Just enough so that he could say something out loud but no one else could catch it. But since I have heightened senses because I'm a vampire, I catch it but am not so sure about it. Since I'm drunk, I don't trust my senses but what I hear coming from Snow's mouth sounds an awful lot like, "You're not the villain, but you hate me, so it can't work out."

If that is what he said, then I don't know what he's talking about at all. But it's somewhat comforting to think that he may not consider me the villain of his story, even if he thinks that I hate him. I can't really say I blame him for thinking that. I managed to be the biggest prick ever to him. I would never forgive myself for that.

Before I can wonder more about what he meant or ask him what he said, he changes the subject.

"You ever listened to Troye Sivan? He's a Normal singer but he's actually really good and I thought you might know him."

"Hmm, well I don't really listen to Normals a lot or even pay them any more attention than they deserve. Besides, I'm not a Normal. I'm a mage. I should listen to mage singers and focus on my world.

"Okay, okay, no need to get all technical or whatever. So what do you listen to?"

I start naming out my favorite artists and he actually listens to a few of them. A lot. We get to talking more and I find out that we actually have more in common than I thought. Sure, we're both really different, but we have the same taste in a lot of stuff. For example, music, movies, types of Magicks, and food.

Pretty soon, we're both getting comfortable with each other's presence. (Well, he is. I was already comfortable). It's at the point where we're both cracking jokes and laughing easily without taking notice of the fact that ever since he arrived at the seat next to me, people have been watching us.

Time passes quickly and I hate it. I was just getting to know Simon Snow, just becoming comfortable with him, acting like I could be friends with him when it's really late and I have to go to sleep otherwise tomorrow will be even more unpleasant. I'm really not conscious of what I'm saying about now. I'm just blurting stuff out and not thinking about the consequences, and that's why I also think that I should be getting back to my room at Watford.

"Oh, I have to go back myself since it's pretty late and you're really drunk so I'll walk you," he says when I mention that I have to be getting home now.

I practically jump out of my seat and run through the house to inform Dev and Niall that I'm going home with Snow. They both collectively raise two eyebrows and plaster smirks on their faces. I don't wait long enough to hear what they're about to say. I just run away to Snow.

And by run away, I mean stagger and try not to fall.

I find him standing at the door with this wondrous look on his face, smiling from one ear to the other. He looks so cute like this. The corners of his eyes are crinkling and there's a tiny sparkle in them. His teeth are on display because of his grin. And his apple cheeks look so soft. He really looks like the epitome of cute and childish.

I almost fall as I'm walking over, too mesmerised by his beauty. But he catches me by the under the shoulders and I suddenly feel like I'm on the moon. Over the moon. Like I'm so high up that I'm circling the galaxy, skipping over stars and swirling around in loops.

At that moment, I wish for time to stop. For life to always be like this. Like how, right now, I'm so easily able to compliment him and watch him blush without freaking out about blowing my cover. Like how he'll give me easy laughs if I tell him a joke, even a stupid one. Like how he's ranting about his life to me, his so-called enemy, and is hardly keeping boundaries. Like how we're pretending that we're friends and that we won't go back to normal tomorrow. Like how infinite I feel right now, able to laugh and joke around with the person I'm in love with after making it seem like I hate him for 7 years.

chap 1, chap 3 (last one)

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rabbitindisguise · 5 years ago

Text

oh my GOD what the FUCK

Carry On was so fucking good

SPOILERS

the bit about the dancing as fighting and then mutual surrender? how baz just flat out says “I’m hopelessly in love” and just smacks you with it at the end of a chapter? I had to stop. I had to BREATH DEEPLY because WHAT THE FUUUUCK. Simons just out there with a whole set of wings. I mean, goals, and I know there’s follow up books, but hooooly fuuuuck. And magic working like language! Wait no I don’t really give a shit about that even though it’s cool. VAMPIRES. The fucking truce. The mage was his dad? LUCY WAS HIS MOM? SIMON WILL NEVER DOES NOT CURRENTLY KNOW WHO HIS DAD IS? “LUCY GOT OUT,” BUT SHE’S BIG DEAD??? BAZ DOES A MAGIC THING WHERE HE HAS TO BE IN LOVE FOR IT TO WORK? I’M???

I feel ready to throw a book but like, in the most aggressively delighted way possible. Baz was also really fucking funny as a character. I’m pissed I can’t reasonably stay up for the second one. Christ. Simon going back to Baz’s house. Simon just booking it Baz’s house without even thinking. Sleeping on Baz’s couch. Simon!!! KISSING. BAZ. BAZ WHO HAD A CRUSH ON HIM. BAZ WHO HAD A CRUSH ON HIM A LONG TIME. BAZ WHO WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM A LONG TIME. THAT BAZ. God, I can’t even imagine. I love pining but it usually resolves with the pining character making the move- if this becomes more common I’ll just die I can’t handle it. I need to slip this shit into my writing. Feel like such an ass for not even rewarding myself with the height of unrealistic daydreams, MUTUAL AFFECTION. The way Baz talks about Simon in the books is just absolutely disgustingly dripping with affection. I was actually kind of appalled. Zero restraint! Absolutely none! “I’d kill HEAD MAGE for SIMON but not my whole family and anyone else in the universe or even myself.” TEARING OFF THE CROSS WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Showing him his FANGS. MORE THAN ONCE. EATING IN FRONT OF HIM. This book makes me feral. I can’t stand it. Every instance of being confused if he wants to punch Simon or kiss him. Every fight they get into AFTER they’re ALREADY TOGETHER. HOW THEY KEEP FLIRTING EVEN AFTER THAT. Deciding not to live together full well knowing they’ll be spending their time together anyway. THE LACK OF LOVE CONFESSION YET THEY JUST KEEP CASUALLY SAYING IT. I wouldn’t be surprised if the institution of marriage itself rolled up like “sorry boys, I’m afraid you’re lawfully wed. File your taxes.”

I also feel like I just had the emotional rollercoster equivalent of when you first find out adults sometimes are stupid but also thank christ because the mage was a fucking disaster and I don’t want him to be right about anything. BAZ. Anyway.

I’m gently vibrating with love.

I picked up fairly early on that the mage was his dad and that junk but I was still like “NO no- no? No, no” because I SIMPLY didn’t want that. I kept flipping through chapters with big reveals with such dawning horror it was like watching a crash in slow motion. The plotting was so SMOOTH. THE HUMDRUM. I CAN TALK A LONG TIME ABOUT MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE HUMDRUM. “Sometimes a hole just wants to be filled” HUH BAZ HUH YOU WOULDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WANTING SOMETHING YOU CAN’T HAVE JUST LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND. Your BOY FRIEND OF THE ROMANTIC NATURE?? SIMON??? SIMON SNOW???

(like I said: feral)

Simon Snow who was also like “obviously my ex girlfriend wants to date him, I want to date him, I mean except he’s a vampire” and then when he finds out he’s actually is a vampire is like “oh cool” and tries to convince his boyfrIEND to love himself at every available opportunity

what am I even supposed to do now. I don’t even have a book hangover I’m just razzed. I don’t even know if that’s a word. Tumblr really undersold this book to me. I was expecting to grit my teeth through it, but I mean. It’s not my favorite thing in the universe, I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s perfectly itself in every way?? Like a really well stylized anime from the early 2010′s? It takes up its own space, it murdered me twelve times, and I’m not even mad, there’s nothing I feel dissatisfied with. Sometimes a book siphons energy out of a person but I feel like I just lip locked with a live battery for a couple hours, and not in the inspiration sense- however I definitely want to get back to my fic and drag that fucker out even longer because the primal urge for Pining Resolutions has be stated. For now. It’s still nuts to me that they got together. Nothing bad happened! Like, okay, his dad’s a homophobe. No one had any panic attacks about it though. It was weirdly refreshing considering that’s usually my favorite part. But GOD. THE CERTAINTY. HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH SIMON SNOW. That’s. That’s fucking narrative poetry. But there was no conflict BETWEEN THEM. I mean, obviously, there was conflict, and they didn’t just smoothly transition from one thing to another, but like. HOPELESSLY IN LOVE. Meanwhile Simon in the background: IDK seemed like a good idea to kiss him? He’s only my enemy and a vampire and whatnot? I’ve never actually fallen in love slowly so I don’t know if it was an accurate depiction, but it was cute as fuck and I guess that’s all that matters.

SIMON GAVE UP HIS MAGIC FOR HIS BOYFRIEND (and the world) (that his boyfriend lives in) (I’m also stealing this linguistic quirk from the author because I fucking can and no one can stop me)

*squees into hands* I need to end this. I guess I’m following blogs. If you know of anything that regularly posts about the series, please, put me out of my misery. I need content. Simon and Baz Say Stupid Shit Daily quote spam or something. I don’t even know. I do know that, probably, this tops the list. It’s not naruto, but it’s some of the best canon I’ve ever fooled around in. The only thing I was thinking of ficcing was Simon actually staying over for the holidays and then! he fucking did that sO I guess my fic writing ass needs to finish my fic in other waters. This book is like . . . an important gay milestone or something. It has everything I want, and nothing I don’t. It even ace reads really well, which makes my heart hurt. God. Anyway. Good fucking night people of various genders. I need to like, chill. Deep breaths lavender. Don’t die flipping out about wizards and vampires.

#personal #carry on by rainbow rowell #caps

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littlepsychowonderland · 6 years ago

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Old crushes die hard (Time)

Baz:

An after all this time, there he is. Leaning against the bar in a gray suit, laughing. The same laugh, the same moles, the same curls. I just stare at him. He is here, Simon Snow stands five feet away from me, alive, breathing, beautiful and I forget how to function.

“Ty, you’re spacing out.” Anne, my coworker, slightly pushes me, bringing me back to reality. “Just talk to the guy.”, she says and winks. Anne is one of the few people I ever told that I am gay. We were drunk on some party from some guy I didn’t really know and she and I were sitting on the balcony. I was so drunk, all I did was babble, until I started babbling about this dude in my class, who was unfairly hot (coincidentally he also had bronze curls, bur I ignored that). Anne listened to me, fairly drunk herself. Suddenly she sat p straight, pointed a finger at me and yelled “You’re gay.” She was really happy at that time, thought she had figured me out, but I was so shocked, I started crying on the spot. “Shh. It’s ok.”, Anne had said and pulled me into a hug. She was really nice, gave me chocolate and told me she was bisexual herself. “Doesn’t really mater who you love, Ty.”; she said with all her drunken wisdom and I cried eve more.

Since then we kinda became friends and I started opening up more about my sexuality.

Anne was also the one who got me the job at this bar. “It’ll be fun. Working together, all fancy.”, she had said and I couldn’t say no. Anne had the worst puppy eyes. Almost as bad as Mordelia.

Right know she smiled at me knowingly (she knew my type and the exact replica was sitting right there) and wiggled her eyebrows. “Shut up. I can’t talk to him.”, I say and wipe a glass clean. “Why not?”

“No flirting with the customers.”, I remind her. Our chef was really clear about that, almost aggressive. “Oh come on. Your shift is almost over anyway. It won’t hurt.” Anne laughs.

I look at Simon. He is here with a girl I don’t quite see, probably his girlfriend, and a few other people. Then he does something that freezes my body completely. He comes over, in my direction. “Anne.”, I squeal and want to run away. “Na uh.”, she says, “I am taking my break.” Then she steals my cigarettes and is gone. That brat!

And then he is there, all bronze and light, looking at me, the surprise written on his face.

Simon

Baz! It is Baz!

Baz

“Hi, what can I get for you?”, I ask as calmly as possible, but he just points at me, still in shock. “Baz.”, he said and lets his mouth open for a few seconds. “That is my name.” I pretend to be cool, while all my organs are dancing tango. “You’re here.”, he huffs, breathless, “Why are you here?”

“I work here Snow.”, I say. He nods. Seems like he isn’t catching up to reality yet. I know I am not, it is like a weird fever dream. Imagining over and over again how I would meet him again, how I would apologize for everything, how I would flirt, take him back home. And now he is standing here and I am back to being bitter and arrogant.

“You work here?” He was like a parrot. “Yes. So, what can I get you?” If he left quick enough I could pretend it was all another daydream and that he was never here. “Oh, ahh. Yeah I would like a Whiskey, Rum-Coke, a glass of water and some fancy cocktail with a lot of sugar.”, he says looking down at his phone. He probably had typed down the orders of his friend.

“Penny what the fuck?”, he muttered quietly. I couldn’t help but grin and then I remembered that I didn’t have to pretend to hate him, so I let my face relax and chuckled. Simon looked up.

Simon

I think in all these years he was my roommate, all these years we spent together, growing up, I have never seen Baz smile, let alone hear him chuckle. It is breathtaking.

I still can’t quite believe that he is here. It took me some time after graduating to notice that I didn’t really hate Baz and then a few more months to explain the obsessiveness. Actually Penny figured it out. I only noticed that I also liked men and when I told her she just looked at me and nodded. “Explains the whole Baz-thing.”, she said. Even though I threw a defensive tantrum, how she was all wrong, I had to admit, she had found a point. Maybe I did like Baz. (How disturbed is that? Falling in love with someone who wants to kill you?) And maybe that was ok. It wasn’t like I would ever see him again.

But now here he was, hair slicked back, smiling, and all the feelings came rushing back.

“Some sugary cocktail it is.”, Baz says and all I can do is watch him prepare the drinks like I am in a trance.

“Here you go Snow. Don’t fall on the way back.”, he says and smirks. That smirk I recognize. “I won’t.” I pout like a little child. He rolls his eyes, but he is still smiling and I just stare at him for another second.

Baz, not full on hating me, is going to be my death.

Baz

One day I am going to die because of Simon Snow. He looks at me with those blue eyes and I can see every mole I never forgot. I notice him staring, which is not new, he used to do it all the time, to check that I wasn’t plotting. But now it seems different. I watch him struggling with all four drinks. Then I let my head fall down on the wood. What am I doing with my life?

It takes another thirty minutes of pointless staring, mindless cocktail mixing and confused looks from Anne until Faruk comes and I can finally go home, to hide in my bed.

Simon

Penny is trying to convince to go back to the bar. “Talk to him”, she says with an evil shimmer in her eyes, “I bet you have a shot.”

It takes her half an hour until I am so annoyed, I actually consider it. I look over to the bar. Baz is handing his apron to another dude, the he hugs the girl and leaves. The second he vanishes I jump up. He can’t leave again. Not until I had the time to talk to him, to really get to know him, without a war, without so much pressure on our shoulders. “I’ll be back Pen.”, I whisper in her ear, then I am gone.

Baz

The air is fresh and crisp. It is a cold October. For a second I close my eyes, let my head cool down, relax. “Baz.”, someone says. It’s a voice I will never forget in my whole life.

“Simon.”, I say and open my eyes to see him stand right in front of me, hands in his jeans. He seems cold. “What are you doing here?” I sound harsh. I didn’t mean to be. Simon looks away. Maybe he tries to figure out what he is doing here.

“I wanted to...”, he starts and blushes, “I mean I thought...”

“Spill it out Simon.” He looks at me and blushes even more. Must be the cold. “Wanted to ask if I could have your phone number.”, he says.

He wanted to what? What is this? Am I in a parallel universe?

“Why?”, I ask. This is too confusing and confusing isn’t good. “I dun know. Maybe catch up or something.” Simon mumbles.

“But you hate me?”

“Christ Baz, will you give me your number or not?” He is pulling on his hair. I want to do that, always wanted to. “Sure.”, I say and he hands me his phone. With shaking fingers I type in my number. As I hand him back the phone he smiles. “Gotta go inside.”, he says and waves a little, “It’s freezing.” And with that he is gone.

Baz

“It’s just not fair.”, I complain to Anne. We are sitting in her apartment, studying. By now I told her everything about Simon. As much as you can tell a person when out have to leave out magick and a war. Anne was still laughing at my misery. “I mean you got his number.”, she says, trying to calm down. “Yeah, but now he texts me like a lot. He send me a picture of a dog. Anne, I am gonna die. He is too cute. I feel like I am sixteen again.”

“You’re not sixteen?” Anne laughs again and I groan, letting my head fall on the table.

“Why are you so worried? A cute guy, that you have a crush on texts you and the thing you do is freak out.”

It’s true. I am freaking out. Because there are so many confusing feelings flowing inside my body. Excitement, because he is in my life again, fear, because he is in my life again (and because he is straight, hope, because deep down I hope he is not and that sticky, disgusting love, that I had years of practice to ignore.

But now I can’t anymore, not with him sending me dog pictures.

My phone rings. “Is that loverboy?”, Anne asks, but I ignore her.

It is Simon tho. “Hey Baz, you like maybe wanted to go get a coffee together or something?” He can’t even articulate him when he is texting, bloody moron. “Gladly.” I text back, then start squealing. “What happened?” Anne raises and eyebrow at uncontrollably rolling on the ground. “He asked me to get coffee with him.”

“Uhhh, you got yourself a date.”

I sit up again. “I don’t think it’s a date. I mean he is straight.”

“Baz, you are living in a hetero normative mindset. Has he ever said he is straight? No. Well then he could be anything.”

I don’t argument with her, because Anne always gets so furious arguing about those topics, so I just nod. Maybe she is right, but I highly doubt it.

Simon

Nervously I fiddle with the zipper of my jacket. I am early, like by fifteen inutes. Penny talked me into meeting up wit Baz. “I can’t take you smirking at your phone anymore as if it was a scone. Go get your guy.”, she had said and punched me in the shoulder, a light punch. But she was right, so without further thinking (because that always destroys everything) I asked him for a coffee. Now I wish I had thought this over more.

Ten Minutes later, Baz appears in a black coat and if I see correctly jeans. God damn, he is hot.

“You actually came.”, I say before I can hold myself back. He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. Did you think I would ditch you?”

“Actually…” I think about it. “Yes.”, I say.

“You’re an idiot, Snow.”, Baz says and enters the little cafe that I picked. It’s a cozy little shop. With wood furniture and cute little mugs as lamps. It reminds me a lot of Ebb. She would have loved this. We choose a table next to the window. Baz takes off his coat. He is wearing a green shirt. He looks amazing. “You’re pretty.” I say without thinking, again. It is weird. In school I would have never done that, I would have never thought that in the first place. I was too focused on him being the villain that I never noticed that he was also a human.

Baz blushes. Never seen him do that before. “Thank you Snow.”

“Simon.”, I say and smile.

“What?” “My name is Simon, not Snow.” He smirks.

“Oh is it, Snow?” He is mocking be. That bastard.

“Well Mr. Pitch if you’re gonna play like that...” I lean back in my chair and pout. He just smiles at me. It’s a pretty smile. I have to look away. “What can I get for you?” Katy, the waitress comes to our table. She smiles at me. “Hi Simon. How are you?” “Good, good. What about you?”

“Stressed but fine.”, she says. I don’t really know her, but we do this little small-talk, since I am here so often. “So for you the apple pie and a cream latte I guess?”, she asks and I nod. “And for you?”, she says and look at Baz. I can see the realization in her eyes and I want to slap her. Yes Baz is gorgeous, but she has no right to stare at him.

“You did it all the time.”, the little Penny in my head says. But that was different, I lie back and then Katy is gone. “This is a really nice place.”, Baz says and looks around. “Isn’t it?” I am a little proud. Before we came here I was really scared he wouldn’t like it.

“So Simon.”, he says. He said my name. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside. “You live together with Penny, if I remember that correctly?”

“Yes, we have a little flat not far from here.” I say and ask him about his living situation. When we texted it was mostly me talking and him commenting. But now he tells me about his university, his aunt Fiona, his job at the bar. So much about him I know, his expressions, when he doesn’t like something, when he is passionate about something, I studied him for years. But there are also new things about him. He is nicer, way nicer. I quite like it.

“Anne lives near me so we hand out a lot.”, he ends his story.

“Is she your girlfriend?”, I ask and feel the pinch of jealousy. He looks at me baffled and then laughs. “No, no she is not. Simon I am gay.” His eyes are stormy pools and I could drown in them. “Oh.”, I say and smile. “I never knew.”

“Yeah, I was very good at hiding things.”, he says, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Not the whole vampire thing.” I smirk and he grins back.

“You could never proof it.”

“But I always knew.” We bicker back and forth, share the apple pie and Baz brings me home.

Kiss me, I say in my mind, but he just smiles at me, for a second longer, waves and leaves. I should have kissed him.

Baz

The next time I see Simon is in the opera. Fiona got two tickets from her now ex-boyfriend and she gave them too me. Anne slapped me when I invited her. “Go with loverboy.”, she said and I thought it was ridiculous. But then I asked, and he said yes and now we are sitting in one of the prettiest operas of England.

The play is really good. I had seen another version of it last spring, but this is way better. During the second act I can feel Simon’s finger next to mine. My breath hitches, but I interlock our pinkies and then he takes my hand. Surprised I look at him, but his eyes are fixated on the stage. I can see him smiling tho.

We walk home together. Simon is really exited about the play and talks about it the whole way, on my side, I can only concentrate on my hand in his.

“Thanks for taking me.”, Simon says and smiles. I should kiss him. Last time I missed my chance. I should really kiss him.

And then he kisses me.

Simon

It’s a good kiss. It’s a really good kiss. His lips are pleasantly cool. He is sightly pushing my, So I push back. I can feel his pulse. It’s hard to think.

Baz

I am kissing the chosen one.

No he is not the chosen one.

He is a boy.

A boy I had a crush on for years now.

He is Simon Snow.

I am kissing Simon.

Simon

Aleister Crowley I live a charmed life.

Baz

Simon is doing a thing with his chin. It feels so nice.

Simon

Breathlessly we break apart. He smiles. “You wanna come upstairs?”, I ask still panting. “I would love to.”, Baz says.

#snowbaz #penny bunce #coc 2018 #carry on countdown #time #fluff #snowbaz fic

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bazypitchandsimonsnow · 6 years ago

Text

The Black Swan

Chapter 6

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 5246

Chapter: 6/17 (All chapters)

Summary: Simon is angry at David, and Baz gives him advice.

Read on AO3

AN: This was one of my fave chapters to write. It's really fluffy and cute. And there's art by @bookerella. Enjoy!

———————————————

“It’s just so fucking insane!” Simon shouted. “It’s stupid, and annoying, and-and stupid!”

“You already said that,” Penny sighed as she arranged the copper pots. The hustle and bustle of the market drowned out Simon’s volume. Everyone was busy preparing for the solstice festival to notice his rantings and ravings. He sat behind her stall, legs crossed, pouting like the child he surely felt like right now.

“I can’t believe he’s doing this Pen,” he muttered. “He’s going to make me marry one of my best friends. Why does it have to be her? Why can’t I ‘continue the dynasty’ with just anyone?!”

Penny sighed. She turned around, elbows on her counter. “Simon, you’re smart, you know exactly why.”

Simon scowled, curling in himself even more. “Yeah, yeah I know. No matter what title Davy gives me or how he tells the nobles to act, I’m still...lower in their eyes. Agatha’s family is all old and well respected and stuff.”

“And marrying her will legitimize you and your future heirs in their eyes.”

Simon’s heart sank. He knew it made sense, but It hurt to know that a bunch of snooty people would always look down on him, and there was nothing he could do about it. “What makes me any better or worse than them?” he grumbled. “How is my blood any different than theirs?”

Penny raised one hand to the sky. “Hey, amen to that. I completely agree. But I don’t need to curry favour with the nobles. David does.”

He twisted the headscarf between his shaky fingers. It kept him from punching something. “B-But I thought David wanted to work against the traditions! He was a lord, sure, but he was low level and never liked the court. He says he wants to change shit. Yet he’s making me marry Aggie to ‘curry favour’ with the old nobles? So, what the fuck?!”

Penny sighed. “Because, no matter how much Davy talks about changing stuff, the old nobles still have a lot of influence. He has to deal with them if he wants to do anything significant. And the only way to get what you want is to schmooze or to threaten. David usually chooses the latter, honestly, but occasionally he has to try the former or they’ll revolt. So, he’s getting you to marry Agatha so he can push his new laws.”

“That doesn’t make it right!”

“Of course it doesn’t, Si!” she shouted, one hand on her hip. “It’s craven, cynical, and horrible for you. I’m not saying that’s an excuse, just a reason. Royal politics are bullshit and I wish I could change them for you.”

Simon’s face morphed into lopsided smile. He reached up towards his friend, hand open and offered. “I know, Pen. Thanks.”

Penny smiled too. She took his hand, squeezing it tightly. Then quickly pulled him to his feet, making Simon nearly fall over. “Now, I didn’t endorse you sneaking out of the castle so you could just complain. You’re going to help me sell some damn cookware, mister.”

“Oh? Think a prince hawking for you will get your sales higher?” Simon waggled his eyebrows for extra sarcastic emphasis. Penny rolled her eyes.

“You’re not as easily recognizable as you think, Si. Especially with that ridiculous thing on your head. But your voice is quite loud when it needs to be. So get shouting!”

She shoved him out into the bustling market crowd. He bumped into an old man, who glared and grumbled at him. Simon called out an apology, but he didn’t care. He just went about his day. Maybe his face really wasn’t as well known as he thought. That was a small stab to his ego, but at the same time he didn’t mind. He didn’t like being prince. Truly, he wanted to be a hero, strong and well known in his own right. But at the moment, he was more than happy to be a cookware salesman.

“Oi!” He shouted, holding up two pots towards the sky. “Get your premium kitchenware here! High grade copper, lovely finish, easy to clean by hand or by magic! Get it right here! Hey, how about you, mate? Want a pot? C’mon you know you do!”

He flaunted his loud and forceful sales technique with ease. Simon turned his head slightly. Just behind him, Penelope was trying to contain her snickers, a hand over her mouth. Hero, prince, no matter what he was, he’d always want to make Penelope laugh. That sound made him forget his troubles.

At least for now.

———————————————

Simon knew he was being particularly aggressive in the dueling tonight. His anger and frustration, brewing for the past few days, were definitely bleeding through, making his attacks stronger and more forceful. Baz kept up of course though. He was equally strong, if not more so, and had been learning well. He parried Simon’s strong jab, then another, then another. But when Simon went for a overhead downward slash, Baz just barely blocked it. He used two hands to push his stick against Simon’s.

“What’s got you so inflamed tonight?” Baz teased, smirking from beneath raven strands.

“Shut up,” Simon said, shifting even more his weight forward, pressing harder on Baz’s stick.

“Oo, very eloquent.”

He looked up at Simon through long lashes, a little glint in his deep sea grey. Simon’s pulse instantly picked up. It was infuriating. Baz could be so smug sometimes. He didn’t want Baz to be calm and smug when he was so furious. He pushed harder, but Baz just leaned back, taking the weight. Simon growled. He wanted to win, needed to win. Why wouldn’t he fall? Why couldn’t be just-

Baz stepped to the side.

“Gah!” Simon yelled as he fell over, face crashing into the grass. Baz chuckled from behind him. He whipped around, his eyes narrowed at Baz’s stupid smug smirk.

“My point,” Baz drawled. “I’m finally catching up, I think.”

Simon growled. He swiped his leg around, catching both of Baz’s ankles. The other boy yelped and fell right on his arse. Simon sprung up, one foot on Baz’s chest and stick pointing downwards. He breathed harshly, glaring at Baz.

"My point,” he said.

Baz rolled his eyes. “Yes yes, you’re very strong and macho. Now help me up like a good sport.” Baz offered his hand, and Simon violently pulled him up. He nearly fell over with the force, and glared at Simon. “Good Gods,” he grumbled, “aggressive much?”

Simon grunted, dropping Baz’s hand and stomped towards the lake. He tossed his stick to the side and sat down with his knees pulled up, face buried deep in his linen trousers. He watched as Baz strolled over. His long arms were crossed over his chest, grey eyes slits of annoyed contempt.

“What’s gotten you in such a mood tonight?” Simon shrugged. Baz scoffed. “Have you ever noticed that half your sentences are shrugs?”

Simon glared. “Fuck off,” he growled.

Baz snorted, hands falling to his hips. “You really are in a snit.” He sat down next to Simon with his legs crossed, posture perfect of course. “What’s wrong?”

Simon picked at the grass. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously something if you’re this upset. I’d prefer you just tell me and stop being a passive aggressive arsehole so I don’t have to suffer.”

He threw more grass, some falling and some flitting away on the breeze. Simon could easily refuse. Telling Baz would risk exposing that he was a prince, something he never wanted to be with him. But...Baz was his friend, right? He deserved to know. At least, the parts he was willing to tell.

“It’s my guardian,” Simon muttered. “My adoptive father. He’s, making me do something I don’t want to. It’s not harmful though! It’s just...something that would help him but make me unhappy. And I get why he has to. But I still don’t like it.” He pulled even further into himself. “It, it makes me feel worthless. Like I’m not good enough on my own. I have to be of use to him somehow. It’s...horrible.”

Simon’s eyes flicked up to Baz again. Baz had his usual blank, bored look, except his eyes were a bit curious. Maybe just on this side of intrigued. His head tilted to the side. Black hair fell in front of his face in a lazy wave.

“So,” he said, “your father is forcing you to marry someone you don’t want to.”

Simon’s spine went ramrod straight. His heart was beating far too fast. Fuck, he was exposed, he knew, he’d figured out Simon was a prince. “H-How did you know?”

Baz smirked. Which made the prince’s mouth go dry for some reason. “Give me some credit, Simon, it wasn’t that hard. You said your father was forcing you to do something that made you unhappy but wasn’t exactly harmful. You described him as using you for his own advantage, like a bargaining chip. I’ve read books on social customs. Arranged marriages are used to fortify agreements between two parties. So I’m guessing your adoptive father is using your hand to seal some deal he’s made?”

Simon’s jaw was on the forest floor. “Y-Yeah, that’s exactly it. You’re...really smart, wow.”

Baz’s smirk got even bigger. But Simon could also swear there was a touch of an embarrassed flush on his cheeks. It was so slight that he couldn’t know for sure though. Baz tucked a piece of raven hair behind his ear and looked to the water. “So what does your guardian want so badly that he has to give you over for it?”

That made Simon gulp. This was his chance, to finally reveal what he truly was. But the thought of telling Baz sent his stomach into horrificaly tight knots. He thought of Agatha bowing, of Miss Possibelf and Cook Pritchard’s caution. He didn’t want Baz to look at him different, to suddenly see him as the royalty he never asked to be. If that made him a coward and a bastard, so be it.

“Status,” he blurted out. “My guardian, he wants more status. He’s very ambitious, wants to be powerful, make a difference and all. The girl he wants me to marry, people like her. They’ll, give him stuff if I marry her. And he’s giving her family money, I think.”

“Hm, I see,” Baz said thoughtfully. “There’s a word for that right? ‘Social climber’, I think.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” It was strangely accurate. Even though he used to be a lord and was now a king, David was a social climber, always looking for more power and influence. He wanted power to push his reforms. Nothing would stop him, it seemed.

“Is that why you went to Mage’s School? Because it looked good to have a son who went to somewhere fancy?”

Simon chuckled. “Yeah, I think it was something like that.” It was easier to say that than mention the old Pitch law that said all royal heirs had to go to Mage’s School.

Baz relaxed a bit, leaning back on one arm. “Well, at least you got a proper education out of your father being a complete prick.”

Simon shrugged, still fiddling with pieces of grass. “I don’t know. He’s alright sometimes.”

“Don’t do that,” Baz snapped, frowning at Simon. The other boy tilted his head in confusion.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t make excuses for him. He’s treating you like a bargaining chip for his own ambitions. He’s a prick, full stop, end of sentence.”

Simon’s mouth pulled into his own frown, but more confused than angry. “I-It’s not that simple. He can be okay. He’s really not all bad. And no matter what, he still took me in when no one else would.” That was a very short, simple summary of a much longer story. Simon would tell Baz about that. One day, maybe...

Baz shook his head, dislodging his hair so it fell in his perturbed pretty face. “Just because he took you in doesn’t mean you owe him for the rest of your life. You never asked for him. He chose to take care of you. That should be his privilege, not your debt.”

Simon could feel some gears turning in his brain. He wasn’t as slow as most people assumed. He could put things together, he just needed a bit more time. His head lolled to the side. “You speak from experience,” he said matter of factly.

That made Baz’s posture go straight again, but only for a second. He curled in on himself, fiddling with his trouser, mouth a tense thin line. He didn’t respond. Cautiously, he shuffled closer, his knees nearly touching Baz’s.

“Did someone tell you to be grateful to him? The cloaked guy?” Simon asked quietly.

Baz’s eyes flicked up. His deep sea grey was intimidating this close up. “Are we starting the questions for tonight?”

Simon shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“So I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to?”

“Y-Yeah, of course.” Simon prepared to be struck down at best, and getting an earful at worst. But Baz didn’t do either. Instead, he sighed, and nodded his head slowly.

“Yes,” he whispered, “Vera, the woman who took care of me when I was young. When I got mad at the cloaked man, she always told me, ‘he brings us food and keeps us clothed, don’t be angry with him.’ She was right, he did care for us in a way. But he would never let us leave either. I was supposed to be grateful because he kept our prison comfy?” He scowled incredibly hard. “Ridiculous. I always hated him, and it turned out my hatred was justified. Considering that when I tried to escape he did...this to me.”

Baz gestured noncommittally to himself and the lake. Simon’s breath hitched. “H-he cursed you for trying to escape?”

The boy nodded again. “Yes. I scaled the wall while Vera slept. I was almost at the top when he showed up and dragged me back down. He called me ungrateful, told me that if I was so desperate to be on my own, I wouldn’t mind if Vera went away. And that I needed to learn my lesson.” He looked out towards his lake, where white birds slept. “He said, ‘if you love those damn birds so much, Basil, surely you wouldn’t mind being one.’” He scoffed and clenched his fist. “Dramatic fucker.”

Simon was at a loss for words. Well, more of a loss than usual. This was the most Baz had ever explained about his curse. It felt exhilarating, to know more, but also scary. This felt like a lot. Baz was trusting him with a lot. Simon’s heart was beating quite hard right now.

“That’s horrible,” Simon whispered. “I-I don’t know what else to say. I’m not good at deep stuff. That just...sucks.”

Strangely, Baz let out a breathy chuckle. A very small smile pulled at his mouth. There was even a little sparkle in his eye. That was the last thing Simon had expected. “You’re right, in a very ineloquent way. It really does suck. This whole thing certainly, sucks.” He flicked his gaze to the side, looking right at Simon. “Your father, what he’s doing, that...sucks too.”

Simon’s first instinct was to argue, like it always had been. But he thought of the yelling, the sadness, everything damn thing David made Simon do for his own benefit.

He was starting to understand Baz’s point.

“I guess it does,” he chuckled. “Not much I can do.”

Baz shrugged. “You could run away.”

Simon chuckled more, then gave Baz a withering look. “Yeah, he won’t let me go that easily.” Baz quirked an eyebrow. Simon sighed and fell back. The stars were beautiful tonight. They almost made him forget his angst. “He’ll chase me down, scour the land, no stone left unturned.”

“Wow, he sounds...determined.”

Simon scoffed. “You have no idea, mate.” He reached up to the sky, desperate to hold onto something so incredible yet so far away. “Besides, I don’t know anyone outside of Watford Town. If I ran, I’d have nowhere to go. Maybe my friends would go with me, but I don’t want to do that to them. They don't deserve a life of running.”

Baz chuckled. “Well aren’t you noble.”

“That’s what everyone says. Friend says I’d make a perfect knight.

“Yeah, I can definitely see that.”

Baz fell back as well, hands linked over his stomach, dark hair spread out like a halo against the grass. They were silent for awhile. Just two young hopeless men gazing at the night sky. Simon was sure there was a ballad like this. And if there wasn’t, there needed to be one.

“You know,” Baz said quietly, “I’ve been charting the stars for years. Used my books to find out constellations.”

Simon lifted his head slightly. “Really?”

Baz nodded. “M-hm. Look.” He shifted closer and raised his hand, long finger pointing to the sky. “That right there, that’s the fox.”

He traced a vague fox like shape between the stars. Simon wasn’t really listening though. He was more focused on how close Baz was. His bony shoulder, his soft hair, his long leg. His entire body’s proximity made Simon’s breath feel scarce. But he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. He’d never felt anything like this before.

“Uh-huh,” Simon said, only a slight catch in his voice.

“Over there,” Baz moved his hand, “that’s the swan, with its wings spread out.”

“Appropriate.”

Baz kicked his ankle, but not with enough force to hurt. “And that,” Baz moved his hand up, “is the great dragon-”

“Who once tried to burn Watford down but was defeated by a great hero?”

“Yes. You know the story?”

Simon nodded. “I know a lot of the old stories. Sometimes the matron would read them to us at the orphanage. I told you, I like fairy tales.”

“Right, of course. Vera would read me those stories too, for bedtime. But I like philosophy and politics books better now.”

Something in Simon seized. Pieces were falling together in his mind. He wasn’t sure if they all fit, but he wanted to find out.

“Baz,” he said, slowly and quietly, “how...how old were you? When you first started living here?”

Baz froze. His arm was still pointing straight up at the star. But bit by bit, it fell, landing very close to Simon’s arm. That unknown feeling threatened to swallow Simon’s entire chest.

“I don’t know,” Baz whispered. “Young enough I don’t remember much from before I was here. I think...” he bit at his lip in contemplation, “I think I might have been five? Or six? I remember Vera giving me a large mint pie with a six carved on the top. So that was probably my sixth birthday.”

“Yeah, yeah, probably.” Simon nodded, because he couldn’t think of anything else to do. “You really have been here a long time.”

Baz chuckled low in his throat. He turned his head towards Simon, and Simon did the same. A half smile pulled at Baz’s thin lips, an expression so terrifyingly suited to him. But his eyes were- well, they weren’t sad exactly. It was subtler than that. It was the kind of sorrow that no longer burned and ate you from the inside out, but merely ached. A sadness bred in isolation and accepted ages ago. Forlorn, maybe.

Baz looked very forlorn.

“I know,” he whispered.

Simon moved his hand, just brushing it against Baz’s. Baz jolted slightly, but didn’t move away. “But...not for much longer, okay? I’ll fix it. I promise.”

Baz’s mouth tensed for a moment. But he looked Simon in the eye, nodded, then looked back to the sky.

And that was all there was to say.

They were quite for a long time again. Baz gazed at the stars. So did Simon. He traced the dragon constellation with his eyes. He found the few others he knew. The chimera, the swordsman, the great castle, the first fire, all immortalized in the cosmos. Simon sometimes imagined he was up there. Remembered not as the commoner king or David’s heir, but Simon Snow, memorable by his own name alone. Someone who deserved to be up there because he did something good himself. It was a stupid fantasy. But still, it always sat in the back of Simon’s mind.

“Um,” Simon whispered. “I, uh, brought more books for us to look at.”

Baz shifted, finally breaking his stillness. “I see. Think something useful will be in them?”

“Yeah. They’re about potions and plants and stuff. Special herbs can reverse curses, apparently.”

“Hm, interesting.” Baz threw himself up to sitting, then went to his feet. “Let’s get started. Lots of text to read.”

He walked off to where Simon left his rucksack. Simon got up to follow, hands in his pockets. His stomach ached a bit. He wasn’t great at picking up social cues, but even Simon knew that had probably been some sort of moment, and he’d broken it.

Baz took out a large textbook and handed the other to Simon. He traced a long finger over the lettering.

“‘Herbal Remedies to Magical Maladies,” he read out. “Huh. Sounds interesting.”

Simon chuckled. “Really?”

Baz sat down cross legged, opening the volume on his lap. “It’s not what I usually read, sure, but I like any new knowledge.”

“You talk like a scholar sometimes.” Simon sat opposite him and flipped to the first page.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s not. It’s just...I don’t get it, wanting to read books all the time. I like some books sure, but not any book. Or reading something just to learn.

Baz flicked his eyes up for a moment. “When you don’t get out in the world much except as a bird, books are really the only way to be educated.”

Simon felt like he’d been smacked in the face. There’d be a large red mark on his cheek if the hit hadn’t been verbal. He coughed awkwardly. “R-right, that makes sense. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Let’s just get this started.”

They began their reading. Simon’s book was on ancient potions. And that made for a very boring experience. There were pictures, sure, but they were diagrams with lots of numbers and charts. Simon tried to read it, he really did. But it was so dull, and he was so tired. The nightmares had only let him sleep an hour last night. And David had forced him into an entire afternoon of sword training. All the exhaustion hit him like a horse carriage going at full speed. His eyelids felt so heavy. His muscles and mind begged for rest. Gods, he was just so bloody tired.

“Simon? You alright?”

Simon’s head snapped up, blinking rapidly. “I’m awake!”

Baz raised a suspicious brow. “Well, you may be now, but you certainly weren’t a moment ago. Are you tired?”

“No,” Simon said as he stifled a yawn. Baz smirked, obviously very amused at Simon’s stubbornness. Simon found it annoying. “Fuck off, I’m fine. Just keep reading.”

“Okay, I’ll keep reading, but you should get some sleep. Coming out here almost every night is obviously taxing you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No,” Baz snapped the book closed, “you’re not.” He went to his feet and stretched out his arm. “C’mon, get up.”

Simon’s face scrunched up in confusion. Baz sighed and rolled his eyes. With lightning speed, he bent down and grabbed Simon’s wrist.

“Hey!” Simon tried to break from Baz’s grip, but the man was strong. Damn the swan boy and his strong flying arms. He easily hauled Simon to his feet, then dragged him towards the tiny cottage. Simon struggled but it was no use. Baz opened the door and brought the other boy inside.

“Now,” Baz said firmly, and pointed at the cot. “Sleep.”

Simon crossed his arms. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes! Stop being a child, Simon, you need sleep to function.”

Simon scowled at him. “I’m fine! I’ve been like this for weeks and I’m fine! And-And I just-” He groaned and dragged a hand over his face. His angry posture deflated. He was too tired to be angry now. “Baz...” he whispered, “we, we don’t get a lot of time. I can just sleep later.”

Baz didn’t respond. Simon cautiously moved his hand away, and saw Baz looking at him strangely. He was obviously curious, but confused too. And maybe just a little bit frightened. Simon didn’t know what he had to be scared of.

He took a step forward, unequivocally walking into Simon’s space, and slipped his fingers under Simon’s. Baz’s calluses scratched along his skin in that strangely pleasant way that made his nerves spark.

“Go to sleep, Simon,” he said softly. “I’ll still be here tomorrow night.”

Simon opened his mouth to argue. But the look on Baz’s face, that kind and sympathetic look, gave him pause. Baz was right. He’d still be here tomorrow. And maybe Simon could use a bit more sleep.

“Okay,” he sighed.

Baz’s lip quirked up. “Good. Get some rest. You can find your way out in the morning?”

“Yeah, will do.” Simon let out a yawn as he stumbled towards the cot. It looked completely unused, the old wool blanket neatly lain on top. Simon collapsed on it, and could instantly feel slumber take hold of his body.

“Night, Baz,” he mumbled

“Goodnight, Simon,” Baz said. “Rest well.”

Simon lazily raised his hand in acknowledgement. Distantly, he heard Baz’s footsteps fade away and the door shut. He fell asleep almost instantly.

———————————————

He was walking down a hallway lined with fancy portraits and intricate Simon knew this hallway well. The boy was strolling down in it again, just like he had done so many times in these dreams. But when he looked up at the long red banners, they looked a bit more clear. The dream fog had dissipated slightly. Simon could make out something drawn in black, with wavy tendrils reaching upwards. He tried to focus, tried to make it out, but that was when it happened, right on time. In an instant, the world exploded into flames.

But the dream didn’t end.

Simon, even in the vague awareness of his dreams, knew they usually ended here. He was supposed to wake up with a start. But it kept going. The boy coughed and pushed himself up on his shaky arms. Rubble slid off his back. He looked down at his tiny hands. They were covered in black and grey ash. Simon felt the tears fall down his chubby cheeks, both from the fire’s heat and childish confusion.

The scene suddenly happened in pieces, jumpy snippets of what he’d already seen. Running, calling for Mum, Mum standing there with the man’s arm around her neck, being told to run, rushing through the flames, and the man grabbing his neck.

But things didn’t go black this time either.

Suddenly, the boy and Simon were outside. Simon could tell. He couldn’t feel the smoke clog his lungs. The boy was slung over a man’s shoulder. His hands were bound with rope, which didn’t budge no matter how much he struggled. A big burlap sack on the man’s other shoulder bumped the boy over and over. His tear and smoke blurry eyes lifted up. A large building burned in the near distance. It was made of dark stone but the flames engulfed so much of it it was hard to see. There was a loud crack, and part of the roof caved in. The boy started to scream.

“Where’s my Mum?!” he howled. “You hafta save my Mum!”

“I don’t have to do anything, you snivelling urchin,” the main growled. His voice was almost familiar, but Simon couldn’t quite place it through the haze of the dream.

“Mummy!” he yelled. Though only heard distantly, like most things in the dreams, the sound of his voice broke Simon’s heart.

“Shut up!”

Something smooth tapped the boy’s temple. A wave of exhaustion hit his body. Every muscle and bone went limp. He was still crying as he passed out again.

———————————————

Simon bolted upright. His chest felt constricted and hot. His hands were glowing deep, rich gold with power. Even his eyes stung like they’d been in smoke. Or maybe... Simon put a hand to his cheek, and his fingers came back wet. Crying. His eye stung from crying. Tears from the little boy, begging and pleading for his mummy.

It took Simon a few moments to recollect himself, to calm his magic and remember where he was. Not his grand palace room, or even his dirty orphanage bunk, but a tiny cot in a tiny wooden cottage. Baz’s room. He looked down to see the blanket pulled over his legs. Weird. He was pretty sure he fell asleep on top of it.

Early morning light was bleeding in from the one window. Crap, Simon had to get back to the palace before David noticed. He scrambled out from the bed, laying down the blanket as nicely as he could. As he exited, he nearly tripped over something.

“What the...” he whispered. At his feet were toppled books and a now messy pile of clothes. Baz’s clothes, sitting there, just like the first time Simon fell into the lake. Simon looked up towards the lake. He inhaled sharply. Sitting there in the centre of the water, along with all the white birds, was a single black swan wearing a thin silver chain.

It- the bird- Baz was curled in on himself, long neck twisted around, head hidden just above a raven coloured wing. He was obviously sleeping. That made sense. He slept during the day as a swan so he could spend as much time as a human at night. Simon found it strange to see him like this. Of course he knew Baz spent half his days as a bird, but he hadn’t seen him so since that first night. And seeing was far different than talking about it.

At least he looks peaceful, Simon thought, because he did. Baz’s eyes were closed. His whole body slowly expanded and rested with each breath. Simon was tempted to go over and touch him. Maybe see if his feathers were as soft was his hair. But, he had a feeling Baz wouldn’t like that. He barely handled talking about being a swan, he’d probably hate Simon seeing him as one. So Simon left him to sleep.

He put Baz’s clothes back in a neat pile, and left the books there too. His rucksack was conveniently placed there too. As he slung it over his shoulders, Simon realised he’d picked it up upside down. Luckily only his dagger and sketch book set fell out. He quickly put his dagger away, but lingered on the book. An idea crossed his mind, which wasn’t always a good thing when it came to Simon. But this one didn’t seem that bad.

Simon scribbled on the page, then ripped it out and laid it on the clothes. This was stupid. Baz probably wouldn’t see it for ages. Maybe not even until he turned human again. But Simon wanted to do it anyway. He looked at it one more time before he turned around.

Thanks for the bed. I’ll see you tonight, Baz. Simon

———————————————

AN: This chapter was fun because of all the pining and the growing affection imo. I like writing that build up. My main worry is that it's boring, but I hope you guys liked it. Next chapter will be next Monday, and prepare yourselves, there is angst incoming. See you next time :)

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #penelope bunce #fluff #angst #fantasy au #The Black Swan #mysnowbazfic

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