#bathin's an idiot

[sulumuns-dootah]

What WHB characters would wear in the human world: Niflheim

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

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Bold of you to assume he'd get dressed for going out

So if he has to go outside, he'll just sleep in normal clothes and be ready to somewhat go

Oversized and comfy clothing

With the whole edgy thing, he'd absolutely love the 90's nu metal fashion (as well as the music)

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Oh look, another demon wearing a suit

But who's really complaining since they all look hot in it, right?

Whenever he's out with Belphie, he looks like a father with his angsty son

Actually, I don't think he'd change up his suit that much

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As much as I love the whole grey shirt look he's got going on I need to see Gusion in the onesie from his original design in color ^^

And yes, maybe the Gusion we have now wouldn't wear much gamer stuff, but he's just lying to himself

Tell me this man isn't partially tired from losing MLBB games because his teammates are idiots

Also thinking about it, he's giving 707 from Mystic Messenger vibes

#BringBackTheOnesie

(There's literally zero good pics of men wearing cute onesies >.>)

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Our moon boy absolutelly loves the darker academia/witchcore aesthetics

While looking up references, I found Klaus from The Umbrella Academy and his look from the ending of season 2 (or at least i think) is definitely it!

A lot of moon imagery

Another member of the looking-like-a-dilf-while-hanging-out-with-a-friend club

I can honestly see Beleth and Bathin drop Belphie and Stolas their teen and toddler off at a playground and go drinking and gambling to the bar right next to it

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This poor baby can't actually see, but his style is always on point

Same as Beleth, why make him stop wearing a suit when he looks so good in it?

Andre is, however, very picky with his fabric textures and only the finest fabric usually passes

So don't be surprised if his single suit costs more than your existence

Hell, some of his suits could cost more than Bimet's designer statement pieces

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Ooh, dramatic cape moment for a dramatic ex-king

Flashy everything so everyone can make him out in a crowd

Will always be wearing a crown on his head

Ofc all the "peasants" will look at him and look for a camera bc who dresses like that on the daily

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Why was my first thought that "thought they were giving nonbinary slay, turns out it was just a priest" twitter post?

Either way, to feed into Agares' delusions, Vassago wears a matching suit and sometimes carries the cape so it doesn't get too dirty

Sometimes even the Hades nobles can get envious over how nice his suits look

[kanatashinkaifr]

here's belphegors selfie story part 1 and 2!!!

had to split it up cuz it was too much text.. I kept everything the exact same, with the exception of occasional mistranslations and making it somewhat gender neutral (but this is afab MC!!). the remainder of this story will be posted soon, i'll put the link below. NSFW below the cut, hope you enjoy!! :3

link to the remainder of the story

@adelaine-rose

Booooom..!!

There was an explosion so loud that even the gravel on the ground trembled and rolled around.

Devil with good hearing: Is that an Angel attack..?!

At a watch house in Hades that was always prepared perfectly against Angel invasions, a Devil with good hearing urgently looked up outside the window, and shouted.

However, the explosion didn't come from an Angel invasion this time.

When all the Devils raised their heads and looked up at the sky in unison...

Something was pouring down from the clear sky; leaving long, thin, rainbow-like tracks.

Devil with good eyes: That's... A rainbow...? No, is it a comet...?

Devil with good senses: Ah..! A rainbow coloured meteor..?! That must mean..!

When everyone was captivated by the meteors with rainbow coloured tails fantastically embroidering the sky--

Boooooom...!!

Once again, an explosion enough to shake the ground below the Devils' feet came from the sky.

At the same time, the clouds opened up in a circle, as though there was a hole; and someone... Appeared from the middle.

The devil who was floating in a somewhat gloomy manner among the magnificent, rainbow-colored meteor shower was smiling with a camera that had lenses as big as a cannon in his hand. --If you can also call the phantasmagoric smile reflected in his gleaming blade a smile...

The man who appeared as though he had forced himself through the universe beyond the sky was overflowing with such tremendous presence that he drew the eyes of all those there.

He definitely had horns, the symbol of devils, growing from his head, but they could feel a more oppressive and extraterrestrial energy from him.

It was obvious that he was no mere devil.

Just then, a few devils shouted almost in unison.

Devil with loud voice: That's... Phenomenon...!!

Excited devil: It's Phenomenon...! It's Phenomenon...!!

The expressions of the devils who were stiff with worry and wariness until just now were all colored with excitement.

No one there asked who Phenomenon was.

Just then, The being called Phenomenon above the sky opened his lips that seemed so heavy that they wouldn't open excruciatingly slowly and almost growled in a low voice.

Phenomenon: I have come... To take a picture...

Overjoyed Devil: Oooh!!! It has begun...!!!

Elated Devil: Phenomenon has come to take a picture...!!

The devils shouted and cheered in excitement as though Phenomenon's single sentence notified them of the beginning of a festival.

...Was something that didn't apply to the devils of Niflheim.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble...

The room is silent except for the scratching of pens, like a room full of students studying for an important exam.

In a place where the excitement outside was faint enough to penetrate even the closed windows, Gusion muttered.

Gusion: If you take the loudest sound an excited devil can make, multiply it by the population of Niflheim, and trace back the percentage lost when the sound breaks through the glass, then retrace the original value of the disturbance we're feeling now...

Bathin: Why would you do that?

Gusion: Pity those of us who are stuck in our rooms doing work, unlike those idiots outside.

Among the devils who eventually gathered and went about their business, Gusion was the first to grow impatient and grumble.

Gusion: Do you know that there's still a misconception among the devils in other countries? That because we're henchmen of the king of sloth, all we do is nap every day.

Bathin: Gusion, quit scribbling and speak up. I can't understand half of what you're saying because your pen is making such a ruckus.

Beleth: Why do you still insist on usin' a pen? You could use a calculator. And why do you always have to squat on the floor? I said I'd get you another desk.

Beleth clicked his tongue as he looked down at Gusion, who was crouched on the floor next to his chair; unlike himself at the desk, or Bathin, who sat across from him and shared the same desk.

Gusion: You think it's easy to change centuries-old habits overnight? I'm faster at calculating like this.

Gusion said, grumbling and calculating in his mind at the same time.

Bathin: It isn't like you to complain while calculating. Did you really want to enter Phenomenon's photo contest that bad?

Gusion: I don't really care about that. The formula I'm perfecting here is far more interesting.

Bathin: Then why?

Gusion: Because I resent being misunderstood. While everyone else is out catching angels, I'm locked up in this room, thinking about how to make my country stronger. A nap? What a misconception!

Gusion: The truth is, being around Belphegor makes me languid and lazy; and I'm tired of putting up with it.

Belphegor's aura, the king of sloth, was so strong that it was contagious to the devils around him; making even the most sincere of devils like Gusion drowsy.

Gusion: But yesterday, Paimon from Gehenna texted me during the day and then followed up before I could even reply, saying, "Aaah, are you sleepingggg? I'm sorry to disturb you, sozzz ;) "...!

Belphegor: Then say no.

Belphegor's languid voice slipped in, drowned out by the rustling of the blankets, from the side of the bed a short distance away from the desk.

Beleth: Haha, that's right. You could've said no.

Gusion:...Do you find it amusing when you're doing all of his Majesty Belphegor's work?

Beleth: If not me, who will take care of him?

Belphegor: That's right.

When Belphegor mumbled something in his sleep, Gusion decided that further conversation was pointless, frowned, and went back to solving the formula.

But the reason they found it hard to concentrate was not only because they were caught on Belphegor's laziness.

Fap, fap, fap, fap...

Gusion: ............

Bathin: ............

Gusion was purposely scratching his nib loudly, just to drown out that annoying sound.

Gusion: (Don't masturbate in front of all your men...!!)

Gusion thought, but Belphegor was the kind of devil who would let the major devils do all the work in his room because he couldn't be bothered to answer to them one by one.

All the work, even that which was inappropriate to be done in his chamber. For example...

Bathin: So, when are we executing that angel in the back?

Right. Like, executing angels, for example.

In the corner of Belphegor's chamber, there was a giant scaffold that looked like it belonged in a public square, with an angel chained to it, waiting to be decapitated at any moment.

Belphegor: Kill it now.

Gusion: No, killing is killing, but you're asking me to decide how to do it; which is why he's been chained in this room for three days now, waiting to see if he's going to be decapitated or strangled.

Belphegor: You want me to decide now? Don't bother...

Gusion: ... You've been saying that for three days now, too.

Gusion frowned. Because even as he was answering carelessly, Belphegor was still masturbating.

When he glanced up, Belphegor's flat stomach was already glistening with

semen.

It was impossible to tell how many times he'd ejaculated, but he still didn't seem satisfied.

When Gusion and Bathin looked at Beleth almost simultaneously, with the same mind, he paused for a moment, and then said with an expression that seemed to have caught on.

Beleth: Agares is hard at work training Niflheim's army, and we're free and easy compared to the atmosphere over there.

Gusion: What are you talking about, again?

Beleth: Weren't you just saying that we seem to be working too hard?

Gusion: It's not that kind of hardship...

It was then.

Knock knock.

There was a knock. Not at the door, but at the window.

Beleth: Ahh, a long overdue return. Andrealphus. Come on in.

Beleth rose from his seat and opened the window so as not to disturb everyone, and a devil with a long, lean body and wings even larger than it was nailed to his back nodded slowly and stepped through the window.

When Andrealphus came into the room with low strides from his leather

shoes and sat down at the foot of the bed, Belphegor said a single sentence: 'Ey, you're back-' and then fell back to sleep.

Andrealphus: It's quiet in here. Outside it's all festive with Phenomenon's contest.

Andrealphus: Your Majesty Belphegor, I know you're always sleepin', but why don't you stay awake tonight?

A hunter who carries a great scythe and slaughters angels in hiding. That was the public image of the devil that was Andrealphus, but there was a certain boyish innocence to his face as he sat at the foot of Belphegor's bed in the

and woke him up.

With Belphegor sleeping peacefully and the devils burying their faces in their respective desks, it seemed friendly and peaceful like a group of boys gathered at a friend's house after school to do homework.

Of course, there was nothing friendly or peaceful about the sight of an angel chained to the side of the room with his head on the execution rack, or Belphegor sleeping and masturbating nonstop despite the wetness on his lower stomach.

Bathin: Why disturb His Majesty Belphegor's sleep? He'll fall asleep again soon enough.

Andrealphus: Didn't you hear? There's a huge fuss about Phenomenon's contest goin' on outside. His Majesty should be a part of it.

Gusion: ......???

Bathin: ......?

Andrealphus: What's with the looks on your faces?

Gusion: .......How do you know my expressions?

Gusion narrowed his eyes to meet Andrealphus's blind ones, but this time Andrealphus pretended not to notice and continued.

Andrealphus: If His Majesty participates, I'm sure he'll win first place, which is good. Because, if he wins first place, then his picture will be displayed all over Hell, and I'll be able to see his face no matter where I am.

Gusion: If that's what you're after, just carry a picture of him around with you.

Andrealphus: No, it'll get soaked with blood.

Gusion: Put it in your phone, keep it as a photo...

Andrealphus: No, it'll get soaked with blood.

Bathin: Andrealphus's phone done broke more than once because it got drenched in blood. Anywhere, there's no way His Majesty's entering the contest, so we might as well give up hope.

Gusion: Hey, wait. Oi, Andrealphus. You can't even see it even if his Majesty's picture is hung all over Hell...!

Andrealphus: It's to do with the feels. Anyways, it can't be helped if he doesn't wish to participate.

Beleth: You're all bein' too pessimistic. He's still our king, after all.

Gusion: He's not going to do it anyway.

Belphegor: But we can still hope.

Belphegor's sleepy reply further sullied Gusion's impression of him.

Gusion: The one who hates being bothered the most is bothering me...

Beleth: Your Majesty, are you really gonna enter the contest?

Belphegor: It's annoyin'...

Everyone slammed their heads back down on their desks with an expression of 'of course' on their faces, but Beleth suddenly went into 'competent servant mode' again and his eyes began to sparkle.

Beleth: I heard that the criteria for the winner of this contest is to take 'a picture where you're the most obscenely filthy'... Don't you think that'd be a piece of cake?

Bathin: ...It's 'a picture where you're the most obscenely messed up'.

Beleth: Haha. Blah, blah, blah. Yes, Your Majesty, how 'bout you wake up for a moment...

Beleth moved closer to the bed to shake Belphegor awake, but Belphegor only lifted his head slightly in annoyance, a frown on his face.

Belphegor: You're the one who should be doin' that, if you'd just stay awake a lil' longer. Those teeth marks on your body, there's more of 'em. again

Beleth: No, no, no. This ain't even close.

Belphegor: What... I gotta do more than that? No, I don't like it. It's annoyin'.

Beleth: An event with all the devils of Hell? It can't be that easy. Why else do you think all the kings of the world are lookin' for Solomon's descendant right now like crazy?

Belphegor: Solomon's descendant?

Beleth's phone rang as Belphegor asked languidly, still in the throes of

sleep.

Beleth's phone rang as Belphegor asked languidly, still in the throes of sleep.

Beleth: Your Maj, one moment. Hello? Ah, a video call.

Beelzebub: [Haha, Beleth, you don't even know the difference between a phone call and a video call. You're like an old man!]

Beleth: I am an old man. I got so many mouths to feed, and I'm breakin' my back

tryin' to feed 'em.

Beleth spoke like a real old man, and the other devils gave him a look that said, "You smell like an old man," and slowly dragged their chairs away.

Beelzebub: [Ah, yes, that's right, Beleth is the best breadwinner in this Hell. Keke. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure the kid from that house has gone home too, have you met him?]

Beleth: Yes, he just came in. Andrealphus, would you like to say howdy to His Majesty Beelzebub?

Beleth said cheerfully, but Andrealphus stiffened and mouthed 'No.'.

Beelzebub: [Keke, looks like he rejected you. Anyway, judging by the silence, MC is not there, Levi! They aren't even in Niflheim.]

At the mention of Solomon's descendant's name, Belphegor who had been dozing off while half awake again slowly opened his eyes.

Beelzebub called out to Leviathan from Hades in a friendly manner, as though he happened to be with him. But Leviathan's expression across the screen was murderous.

Leviathan: [They're not in Niflheim, nor in Hades, nor in Abyssos. So all that remains is Gehenna and Tartaros. Beelzebub. I'll pull out your tongue after I look there, Beelzebub.]

Mammon: [They aren't in Tartaros either. I just came back from looking there. Anyway, what about Abaddon?]

When Mammon appeared beside him and tried to wrap his arm around Leviathan's shoulder, Leviathan deftly dodged, showing it all on the screen.

Leviathan: [There's no way MC would have gone there on their own, unless they're insane...... No, it's not completely unlikely.]

Satan: [Okay, let's go to Abaddon!!]

Even Satan's eyes lit up as he appeared, the devils of Niflheim who had come to Beleth's side and were watching the screen together all looked a little dumbfounded.

Gusion: ...This isn't even an emergency for Hell. How come you're all gathered there?

Satan: [Because we need to find MC to win first place in Phenomenon's contest!]

Bathin: What role will they play?

Mammon: [Huhu, you can figure out who has the most dramatic eye for 'most obscenely messed up' in all of Hell right now, since you're smart.]

Satan: [Why do you look so proud of yourself?]

Mammon: [Of course I'm happy that the kings of Hell have recognized MC's discernment, because they're mine.]

Satan: [Mwahaha! Bullshit!!]

Leviathan: [Anyways, since MC doesn't seem to be there, you can hang up the phone, keep busy.]

After saying that, Leviathan hung up the phone first. And with that, the noisy voices disappeared and peaceful silence returned...

Harumon: Keep busy...! What a cruel goodbye...!! That's so cruel...!! That's so cruel...!!!

Beleth: Where were you hidin' again? You came out now?

Harumon: Vassago kidnapped me again!!! Vassago!!! He bathed me in the finest scented oils!!! He massaged me all over!!! And he brushed me as he wanted!!!!!

Beleth: My, I'm jealous of that. It always feels so good to be touched by a pretty boy like Vassago.

Harumon: What are you talkin' about!!! You horny jerk!!! I've been taken advantage of!!!

Bathin: Vassago... He don't look it, but he really adores Harumon.

Beleth threw the good-smelling, fluffy Harumon onto the bed, and

Belphegor caught him right on the spot, tucking it under his elbow and rolling onto his side.

Harumon: Ugh...! Your Majesty, your elbow...! I-It's pressin' on my guts...!!! ARGHH!! I smell cum...?!!

Belphegor: Funny. A human whose name keeps comin' up during the devil's festival.

Andrealphus: ...? Your Majesty Belphegor, I thought you were asleep.

Beleth: Wow, his eyes are really sparklin'. What is it?

While they were all stunned that he was awake and not sleeping, Belphegor pulled a dice from his chest.

Belphegor: Solomon's descendant. I thought they were interestin', but...

But if they're so great that even the kings are lookin' for them, then...

Belphegor's dice left his hand. It rolled far, far away, stopping at Beleth's feet.

Belphegor didn't even bother to pick it up himself. He just looked up and asked.

Belphegor: What's it say?

Beleth: Six.

Belphegor: Okay, I've decided.

Belphegor, who was still only halfway out of his quilt by the time the dice were rolled, stretched out completely.

In that moment, the air in the room, which had been peaceful and even stretched out, stiffened with tension.

Belphegor: I shall win first place in the contest.

Before anyone could react to the sudden declaration.

Swooosh-!

A tremendous amount of power was suddenly released from Belphegor's body, which had been marinated in drowsiness and languor.

The devils in the room instinctively drew their weapons, tensing every muscle in their bodies. Just then.

Click.

An improbable sound reached everyone's ears. A small, concise signal that seemed to flip a switch in the world.

At the same time, the surroundings were plunged into total darkness. As if everyone in the world closed their eyes at the same time.

The darkness didn't just swallow Belphegor's chamber, it engulfed all of Hell in that moment.

Agares: ...This... All he does is sleep. What happened?

Vassago: ...I'll go fetch Harumon to check out the situation.

The place where Vassago selflessly replied to Agares' irritation was also shrouded in darkness.

Leviathan: This darkness... Belphegor, you lazy bastard.

Satan: Shouldn't he be in bed?

Beelzebub: He must be hungry, or--

Mammon: He suddenly remembered something he wanted.

The place where the kings gathered was also dark,

MC: What, what...?! Did the angels do something again...?!

The place where you are was also in darkness.

You couldn't see anything, and you thought while your heart was pounding with fear and surprise in the seemingly empty space.

MC: I was just passing near the border of Gehenna and Tartaros...?

You had narrowly missed Satan who was searching for you, and had actually returned to Gehenna just as he was leaving it.

But you were too afraid to step into the streets, and everything around you was enveloped in darkness, and you were lost.

The darkness not only swallowed up everything you could see, but it also swallowed up sound, and you couldn't feel anything, as if you were drowning in a black liquid.

Just then.

???: Ah, gotcha.

A familiar voice called out from an unknown direction.

Then there was a momentary flicker of darkness, with no light in any part of the room, no distinction between light or shadow, and then, as if someone had pulled away the blackness in front of your eyes, there was suddenly only a landscape beyond.

It was Belphegor's room, with a calm, dark interior that seemed made for sleeping more than anything else.

Belphegor: Come over here.

MC: Belphegor???

Holding up part of the darkness with one arm, Belphegor spoke in a voice

that hadn't quite awoken.

The man who had covered himself in a sea of near-neutral colors looked weak in his sleep, but all the darkness that surrounded you was of his own making.

Lifting the darkness as if lifting a curtain, he was slightly bent over so that his chest and abs, clad in a single kimono, were clearly visible to you.

MC: (Uh, am I looking at it wrong...? I don't think that's... sweat... on Belphegor's stomach...?)

You stared at him for a moment, suddenly realized that your gaze was too blatant, and shook your head hastily.

MC: This is too good, no, no, this is too sudden, what's going on?

Belphegor: You were too far away, so I shortened the path.

You didn't understand his words, but more than that, you didn't understand the sensations you were feeling.

Surely Belphegor was speaking in front of you, but his voice seemed to come from the back of your throat.

Besides, you should have been in Gehenna because you were standing still where you walking a moment ago, but Belphegor in front of you were waving from his room in Niflheim.

Beleth: My goodness. Our king must be somethin' else, to bother goin' all the way down there, to mess up the dimension by unleashin' energy on all Hell.

You heard Beleth's dumbfounded voice from somewhere, a voice that sounded bemused-but also secretly proud.

Gusion: Hey, Solomon's descendant. Use your head. Not your senses. Think about what this devil in front of you is capable of.

Gusion's voice rang out from somewhere, and you snapped out of it.

Belphegor, who could bend dimensions, space and time, had bent them to meet you, creating the shortest distance possible to reach you.

MC: S-so where am I now? Gehenna or Niflheim?

Bathin: You're in Gehenna, and you're in Niflheim. That's what dimensional travelin' is for. Ain't that nifty?

At the sound of Bathin's calm voice, you felt yourself being released from the fear and tension that the sudden darkness had brought.

You shifted toward Belphegor, whose three eyes were glowing toward you, and then-

Belphegor: This way.

Sure enough, Belphegor was right in front of you, so you reached out, and just as you thought you heard a voice in your right ear, a firm hand wrapped around your left waist, hugging your body from behind and pulling you to your feet.

MC: (I'm going to fall...?!)

You squeezed your eyes shut in surprise, and then something fluffy touched your bottom, and it became bright beyond your eyelids.

MC: Huh, where am I...?

Belphegor: It's Niflheim.

Sitting in the middle of the bed and sprawled out beside you, answered Belphegor, who hadn't even bothered to look at you despite the fact that the front of his tunic was open - and thankfully so.

Beleth: Welcome to Niflheim, my dear Descendant of Solomon.

You were greeted in a cool tone by the handsome devil standing before you.

MC: I was surely in Gehenna a moment ago...!

Beleth: The moment you entered the dimension of Niflheim, our Majesty pulled you into it, and then returned you to your dimension.

Harumon: My...! Not just travelin' 'tween dimensions, but havin' the power to travel 'tween dimensions...!!! I don't know if our king is brilliant or ignorant!

As Harumon complained, Beleth casually walked back to the desk, grabbed a pen, and spoke.

Beleth: Now, I reckon our king's gonna be busy from now on, so the rest of y'all should find another empty room.

Bathin: ... It's been a spell since I saw you. How sad.

Bathin bowed politely and started to leave the room, but Gusion couldn't take his eyes off the paper he was writing down formulas for some interesting puzzle, so Bathin dragged him out of the room.

Beleth: Andrealphus, you too... Huh? When did he leave? Harumon's not here neither?

Beleth scratched the back of his head as he stared at the empty space, then closed the window as if he was used to it and came back and sat down.

MC: If you're busy, should I go too? I just got here, but...

Beleth: Ahh, no, Belphie's busy 'cause of you. Well, I'll be off... Oh, just check this

one. Hey, your Majesty. What about that last road project? Do you approve?

Belphegor: Yeah.

Beleth: Hey, at least take a gander at it. Don't just lie there.

Belphegor: Ye.

Beleth:You're such a good listener. Hey, MC, I'm sorry, can you help him on one side? I'll take the other.

MC: Huh? Okay!

At Beleth's request, you hesitantly lifted one of Belphegor's armpits and placed it on your shoulder. As Beleth approached and did the same on the other side, Belphegor rose to his feet as if he had no choice.

MC: (Ooh, ooh... What is this... Belphegor's thick body odor is coming straight to

the tip of my nose...!)

Beleth walked over and carried Belphegor with you to the front of the desk.

Beleth: Look. This paperwork. What shall we do, approve it?

Belphegor: Nah.

Beleth: Well then... Okay. That's it, then. Now I'm really done... Oh, this one needs the king's say-so, too. Hey, Your Majesty. What am I supposed to do? There's stuff on the agenda that needs your answer right now.

Belphegor: Well, you get to work. I'll do this. No, you do it, not me.

Belphegor said, half-leaning over Beleth and pointing at you with his gaze.

MC: Me? Do? What?

Belphegor: That's annoyin', just ask me one question.

MC: If you brought me here, the least you could do is explain...!

As you said that, you slipped out of his arms and stood to face Belphegor, who sighed heavily as if he was about to do something very, very big.

Belphegor: I'm only gonna explain this once. I'm gonna explain it in one go. If I don't, I'll die of annoyance.

You nodded quickly, and Belphegor smirked, his head jerking upright.

You almost didn't pay attention to his words as his sharply chiseled, handsome features stared back at you...

Belphegor: I'm curious about you. I've taken a likin' to you.

I also wanna win first place in Phenomenon's contest.

I also wanna have relations with you.

But I can't be bothered to move.

So you do it.

MC: ??????????????

You stuttered as the information rushed past you, not quite registering in your mind.

Beleth: Come on, Your Majesty. Just 'cause you're bothered doesn't mean you gotta speak so casual-like that the other person can't understand you.

Fortunately, Beleth kindly turned his chair around to explain.

Beleth: Well, it ain't really that difficult. His Majesty is interested in you, so to speak, and he also wants to win first prize in Phenomenon's contest.

He thinks you can help him take the 'dirtiest photo ever', and he'd like to have relations with you, too.

But he can't be bothered with all of that, so he's lettin' you lead, okay?

MC: Uh... So... He wants to know about me, and... He want to win first place in Phenomenon's contest, and... Have sex with me.... Ahem, I'd like to do that, too... But... I...

Beleth: Yeah. You got it. Clever.

Your face flared up in a belated blush at Beleth's kind words.

MC: (I mean, he's saying we should do it right now, with my own hands, and with Beleth here...!)

Your blushing face looked shamelessly into Belphegor's eyes and the back of Beleth's head.

You panicked and took a few steps back, only to find a cold wall behind you... No, a full-length mirror almost as large as the wall.

Turning away from the mirror, you clasped your sweaty hands together as you stared at a man who had both a sharp, alert appearance and a languid languor that left much to the imagination.

MC: (This...is... too... too... good...!)

You already anticipated seeing the scenes that made your heart pound inwardly once you heard about the theme of Phenomenon's contest, and you found yourself in a more stimulating situation than you could have imagined.

MC: (After all, I don't see Belphegor very often compared to the other kings, so I never expected such an event to take place...!)

True to his name as the king of sloth, Belphegor rarely ventured outside of Niflheim.

Even when he was in Niflheim, he rarely left his room, or even his bed, which made this situation even more exciting.

MC: (I wonder what type of caress Belphegor likes. Does he sweat a lot? Does he like to be touched by hand or does he prefer it to be done with my mouth?)

Belphegor said he wanted to get to know you, but in truth, you were just as curious about him.

With such expectations and delusions bubbling up inside you, you thought it wouldn't be long before you were wetting your pants just by looking at the razor-sharp handsome man standing there with his apron languidly open.

The only problem was, you had to lead the whole thing and make sure you 'messed it up obscenely' to his satisfaction...

MC: (But Belphegor's already obscene...?! That on his stomach...!! It's definitely cum...!! Ahh... I want to rub my lower belly on it and get wet...)

Belphegor: Huh? Huh. Yer' already up and at it? How diligent.

You looked into Belphegor's pale eyes and saw that in his eyes, you were already blushing, and spreading open his clothes.

In fact, your expectations were not just to 'watch' the thrilling scenes, but to actually 'mess' someone up in the most obscene way possible.

MC: You said to do it. So I'm going to do it enthusiastically...

And then, as if by some sort of instinct, you began to run your drooling tongue over the nipple in front of you.

Watching you, Belphegor chuckled.

Belphegor: I ain't one for nuisances, but when I see folks workin' this hard for me, I reckon I gotta lend 'em a hand.

With those words, Belphegor's hand came to rest on the top of your head as if squeezing you, and as he lifted your head with force, your gaze locked with his mysterious three eyes.

Belphegor: [There's no need to rush, just make it feel right]

At that moment, you felt your vision go dark for another very brief moment.

And the moment it receded, Belphegor's hand was on the back of your head... Yet somehow, you felt it on your butt.

MC: Huh? Huh?

Belphegor's grip on your head tightened, and you lifted up on your heels, feeling as if someone was squeezing you under your ass.

MC: Uhh...?! There's a hand, on my butt...?

That wasn't it.

MC: (It feels strange... I feel so good... I'm so turned on... But why... Do I feel so drowsy and lethargic...?)

Belphegor: Ya can sleep, but keep movin' them bones.

A strange command dropped above your head... No, it seemed to come from beneath your chin.

MC: Huh...? I just heard, something here...

You lowered your head, talking gibberish as though you were half-asleep, but of course Belphegor's face wasn't there.

Instead, you could see his abs that were clearly visible through the open front, and the glistening piercing that was embedded in them when you looked down.

When you touched it with your hand, it felt cooler than your body temperature and it seemed to stir your sleep just a little.

But only for a moment.

You shook it off. The languor eventually gave way to the strength behind your knees, and you stood in front of Belphegor with your knees upright, rubbing your face between his legs.

Even as you frantically rubbed between his legs, now as warm as a newborn baby, he literally 'stayed still' with nothing but a pleasant smile.

Beleth: Hey, Maya, watch yerself 'round His Majesty-- hangin' 'round him can wear ya down... Shoot, my apologies for bein' late.

Beleth glanced back at you, but you were already preoccupied with the multi-sensory and arousal that Belphegor had so strangely twisted.

Belphegor had only squeezed the crown of your head once, and you were still feeling the sensation of someone constantly squeezing and fondling under your ass,

Belphegor had only whispered once, but his hot, sweet breath seemed to be blowing in your earlobe, under your armpit, and down your stomach over and over again.

MC: This is strange... Strange... It's strange... But I like ittt...

Belphegor: Now, put in that work, push it harder.

His words sounded insensitive, but they were true.

The more you touched him, the more you felt him, the more aroused your body somehow became.

It wasn't the kind of 'if you like it, I like it' interaction that happened simply because of the affection you felt for the other person.

Belphegor was leisurely watching you, letting you take over the even the arousal that he should be feeling.

Of course, that didn't mean Belphegor's wasn't aroused at all, or nil.

MC: It's hard.

His cock was already fully erect and throbbing against your cheek, just a piece of clothing away.

You drew your knees up to your sitting position and lifted his robe up on your own, rolling it over your chest.

Belphegor: ...That's it. Keep it steady.

Feeling Belphegor's voice and breath echoing in the hole beneath you, you parted the bottom of his kimono.

MC: It's... Pretty...

You said so without realizing it, lovingly stroking Belphegor's shaft with both hands.

It was nodding fiercely and wasn't cute in the slightest, but you found it terribly endearing.

His cock looked like a compressed version of Belphegor himself.

It was neither too long nor too small, just the right amount of hardness and clear color.

And... The piercings that were embedded here and there on his body were embedded there as well.

MC: (If I touch it there... Would it feel even better...?)

You thought to yourself, and at the same time you stood up firmly, wedged it between your breasts and began to move up and down.

[dedicatedfollower467]

def. friend. roman. countryperson. tell me about 3. vashwood hanahaki pls.

.................. also 8. ww rescues livio? and 38. david 7 has no genitalia? and 39. WOLF ARCHIVE?

(feel free to pick and choose from this list if this is too many 8D )

skdafjfdfjkhlfasd vashwood hanahaki was LITERALLY INSPIRED BY Y'ALL IN THE CRYGUN SERVER MY GUY.

basic concepts:

it's not the love being unrequited that kills you, it's sitting on your feelings until the flowers root into your lungs and rip your organs apart from the inside. all ya gotta do to stop it is confess, and if the other person doesn't love you back it's sad but the hanahaki goes away.

but naturally vash and wolfwood are idiots

vash is coughing up blue delphinium flowers, which are toxic. so in addition to the plants eventually maturing and ripping apart his lungs, failing to tell wolfwood is also slowly poisoning him.

wolfwood is coughing up red geraniums (obviously) but the first time he coughs up a petal and sees something wet and red he thinks he's overdone it with the serum and he's spitting up his own organs.

that's about what i got right now.

ww rescues livio:

post-serum ww manages to actually succeed on one of his escape attempts

obviously he breaks livio out too duh

livio has not had the serum yet

ww murders chapel just before they're about to start administering the serum, actually.

razlo's the one in charge of the body at that moment and he is Not Okay With This

once they start bumming around ww and livio pose as father and son to get away with shit.

large parts of the dialogue so far are in spanish because you can pry my latinx ww and livio headcanons from my cold dead hands.

you now know everything i know about the concept.

david 7 has no genitalia and that's really fucking annoying:

david 7 does not have genitalia.

this does not mean they do not have a sex drive.

david 7 finds this situation highly aggravating

especially since they discover this while in the middle of a lurid fantasy about bathin.

basically stellar firma doesn't manufacture clones with genitals because why would you give an object genitals?

... unless it's a sex toy, i guess?

... maybe it's a good thing david 7 doesn't have genitals.

getting horny and not being able to masturbate is still FUCKING ANNOYING, THOUGH.

WOLF ARCHIVE:

all the tma archivists are werewolves. i've talked a little about wolf archive before so i will just link you to that instead of answering, because i have literally only written like two paragraphs since i answered that ask and also i am tired lol.

[radioromantic-moved]

i'll take care of you (it's rotten work) (yeah it sure fucking is)

this is so unbearably sweet by my usual standards for this ship...but also i'm kind of proud of it i'm afraid. if you'd rather read on google docs here is a link :) otherwise cytrex fluff (or what passes for fluff when it's them) under the cut

"Cyril, I am dying.”

“You’re not dying,” Cyril says patiently. “You just have a cold, and your immune system is still getting used to being off the station for the first time so it feels worse than it is. You’re going to be perfectly fine in four days or so.”

“If it’s not that bad, why are you sitting on the corner of the bed wearing a mask?”‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎asks, in a checkmate sort of tone. 

Cyril clears their throat self consciously. “I mean, just because it’s not that bad doesn’t mean I want to catch it.”

“Quisling,” mutters‏‏‎ ‎Trexel, before launching into a series of raspy coughs. “I’m writing you out of my will,” he wheezes.

“I was in your will?” asks Cyril, who is, embarrassingly, a little charmed by this.

“Maybe. Whatever.” He rolls over and smushes his face into his pillow. “It just figures that everyone is too preoccupied to say their final goodbyes,” he bemoans, muffled. “Sure, David, your first friend in your entire slimy little clone life is lying here on his deathbed but you’d rather suck face with your idiot grand duke than offer even a smidge of solidarity to me in this--this--ha-chmph!”

“Don’t sneeze into your pillow, you’ll get snot on it,” Cyril scolds him. “Look, you know I’m not Bathin’s biggest fan either, but David clearly adores him and the feeling is mutual as far as I can tell, so just let them have this. Also, we are living on his planet, so try to play nice.”

Trexel‏‏‎ ‎rolls over blearily. “Say something mean about Bathin,” he urges. “I miss when you would do that. It’s my dying wish, Cyril.”

Cyril sighs deeply. “Trexel,‏‏‎ ‎if you somehow take a drastic turn for the worse before the end of today, I will make up a new insult to call Bathin and get it put on your tombstone.”

“Promise?” he asks with shining eyes and a little congested snuffle for extra effect.

“Cross my heart.”

“Thank you, Cyril,”‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎says sweetly. “I lo--um, I l-like you. Very much.”

“I like you very much too, Trex,” Cyril says, and stars and planets they do in fact actually mean it. “I’m gonna make you some soup.”

“You can’t cook,”‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎says suspiciously.

“First of all, rude, and second of all soup is barely cooking, it’s just throwing a bunch of things in a big pot. I can put things in a big pot!”

“I do like a big pot,” he ponders aloud. “Don’t burn anything down.”

Cyril giggles, which turns into a laugh bordering on the hysterical. “You’re one to talk, buddy. Also, so much of this place is water I don’t think I could burn anything down if I tried. But I will be careful. Get some sleep.”

Trexel‏‏‎ ‎nestles under the blankets, looking rather peaceful, especially for him. Cyril’s heart does a thing that might at one time have been cause for panic, but has now become rather routine. 

And as just about anyone could tell you, Cyril Andromedus is a sucker for a routine.

--

The soup is salt, noodles, carrots, seaweed and meat. The seaweed is perhaps an unconventional addition, but‏‏‎ ‎Galactonium‏‏‎ ‎has bred this stuff for flavor, and there are over 50 unique‏‏‎ ‎Galactonian‏‏‎ ‎strains of edible seaweed (and just as many strains of…another kind). Even Cyril hasn’t memorized all of their names yet. Maybe next time they have a free day.

They bring the soup back into the bedroom and set it on‏‏‎ ‎Trexel’s nightstand. Their patient is still asleep. They go to wake him, but hesitate for a minute. Unconsciousness is perhaps the only state in which‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎Geistman‏‏‎ ‎could be described as being calm, and it’s a pleasant novelty.

“A surprise party for me?” he murmurs. “Y’shouldn’t have. Eat the whole cake myself, don’t mind if I do…”

Upon seeing him beginning to drool on the pillow, Cyril snaps themself out of it and gently shakes him awake. “Soup delivery,” they announce.

Trexel‏‏‎ ‎emits an incomprehensible noise and slowly sits up.

“No cake?”  

“Even you would not want to eat a cake I baked.”

“You underestimate the amount of things I’ll eat,”‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎counters. 

They hand him the bowl of soup, a spoon, and a tray (because they really do not want to wash these sheets until they absolutely have to). Trexel‏‏‎ ‎takes a small sip. “Hm. That’s…you know what, that’s okay,” he declares after a minute of deliberation. “Sorry for underestimating you.”

“Trexel‏‏‎ ‎Geistman‏‏‎ ‎apologizing for something?” Cyril gasps. “Never thought I’d see the day!”

“Shut up, I apologize all the time!” he protests. “Just only when I’m wrong, and that doesn’t happen very often, so there.” He coughs.

“I’m honored to have witnessed it.”

“You should be.” He slurps his soup aggressively.

Cyril leaves while he’s preoccupied to read for a while. They have about ten minutes before they hear a plaintive “Cyril…” coming from the bedroom.

Cyril closes the book and goes to check on‏‏‎ ‎Trexel. The soup bowl is discarded, empty, on his nightstand. 

“Do you need more soup?” they ask. “I didn’t make a lot of it, it was kind of a small pot, but if you want I guess I can--”

“No, it’s fine,” he interrupts them. “I’m full on soup for now. I just. Um.”

He avoids eye contact with them, sneezes and swipes at his nose.

“Trex, what is it? Are you actually dying?”

He mumbles something under his breath, too quiet for them to hear.

“C’mon,‏‏‎ ‎Trexel, I’ve heard worse from you on a regular basis, I’m sure of it.”

Trexel‏‏‎ ‎looks hesitant, sneezes again, then forces out, “I would just. Like it. If you stayed here for a little while. And kept me company or something.”

Cyril blinks, caught off guard, then smiles softly. “Okay. I can do that.”

They sit on the bed, still near the edge, but risk scooting in a little closer to where‏‏‎ ‎Trexel is bundled under the covers. “Do you just want me to sit here?”

“You can talk if you want,” he says. “I can’t contribute much. My throat hurts. I don’t like it. I’m used to talking much more than this. S’difficult.”

“I can imagine. Oh my goodness, if you want me to talk, let me tell you about the‏‏‎ ‎Galactonium‏‏‎ ‎library! There are these jade designs on the walls and a fountain and more real paper books than I’ve ever seen in my life, and books written on all sorts of things OTHER than paper, I didn’t even know you could DO that, and Bathin told me I could volunteer there! And at the museums, too, if I wanted, and--”

Trexel‏‏‎ ‎makes a growly noise.

“--and, you know, that’s fine or whatever but I would have found a way to volunteer there even if he didn’t give me permission. He doesn’t control me or anything. Anyway, there were even books in other languages, and oh my VOIDS there’s even an OLD EARTH ARCHIVE like, IN THE LIBRARY, not off in some corner or anything, there’s real actual books and letters and magazines from Earth! I checked out so much stuff and I can’t wait to learn about the cultural context of all of it. When you’re feeling better, we can go together.”

“That sounds awful,” mumbles‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎sleepily. “But I’ll do it for you.”

They rub the back of his head. “How selfless of you. You’ve come a long way.”

“I guess I have,”‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎says softly, in a voice that sounds like maybe he’s realizing it for the first time. “I guess I have.”

[froodlemonkey]

The Meredith Bros inching closer to their goal of meeting the McElroys and immediately climbing on top of them

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato [Track 4]

Original title: 守りたいもの

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Translator’s note: Whoever wrote the script of this CD just wanted us all to suffer and die from the feels, huh? Ayato is not even one of my biases so my heart is not ready to listen to the CDs of my favorite boys. T _ T If they’re all this emotional, I’m gonna need to put a bucket next to me for all of my tears. They leave it on such a horrible cliffhanger as well, I was literally on the edge of my seat.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 4: What I Want to Protect

Ayato is once again standing on top of Kaminashi tower, the wind blowing in the background.

“...Haah, haah...Kuhーー! I’ve only gone without her blood for a few days, yet I’m already this...”

( Standing on top of that tower, I came to a realization. That regardless of what I do or say, I am the one who has been dependent on her. I figured I could just suck anyone else’s blood, but hers was the only my body craved for. Furthermore, I was convinced that unless it was her blood, this thirst would not be quenched. 

ーー In other words, she is indespensable to me. However, if I let my own desires get the best of me, there is a chance I could lose this vital part of my existence. Yet, this person in question is trying everything within her power to try and offer me her blood. )

“Hahaha...She must have a few screws loose. I just can’t understand humaーー No, she is a mystery to me. She must be aware she’s pushing herself into the grave, so why would she...? Even though she could live exactly as she wants as long as I keep myself under control. ...But that is about to come to an end as well.”

Approaching footsteps can be heard.

“...Tsk.”

You walk up to Ayato.

“You’re too damn persistent. ...What do you want? I thought I told you to never show yourself in front of me again?”

You note that he has been avoiding you. 

“Isn’t it obvious why I’ve been avoidin’ you? ...’Cause I don’t want to see your face ever again. If you understand what that means, then get out of my sight already.”

You beg him to talk it out. 

“Heh! We can’t let things end like this? We don’t see each other for a few days and you turn into a real drama queen. I don’t know what the other guys whispered in your ear, but I’m sick and tired of you. ...See you.”

You reach for his arm.

*Rustle*

“Don’t touch me! ...Let go! ...You want me to suck your blood that badly?”

You nod.

“Hmph! Listen up. Your blood may be special, but...When you woke up again ーー No, when I look back at it, I didn’t like that weird behavior of yours even before you fainted. ...The way you’d go on about how you felt as if you couldn’t stay by my side for very long pissed me off as well. I don’t need the blood of someone who only knows how to fuss ‘bout lil’ shit like that! ...Now scram!!”

Ayato aggressively shakes you off. 

*Thud*

“...!! ...Oi! ーー No. You brought that upon yourself. Guess you shouldn’t have reached out for me so carelessly, huh? ...Next time you approach me...”

*THUD*

“You’ll end up like this wall, get it? ...See you.”

He starts walking away.

“...Che. Ahー Fuck! It pisses me off! ...Say, you. You know, don’t you? What’ll happen to you if I continue to drink from you. ...You’ll die. Isn’t that what you humans are the most afraid of? So why are you so persistent about having me suck your blood?”

You explain. 

“...’Cause you trust me? ...Is this the thing ‘bout me being ‘kind’ so I won’t suck past your limit again? I’m surprised you can still say that after you fainted the other day, heh! In that case, I’ll suck you as you wish. If you insist, guess I’ll make the best of it. Get your ass over here. ーー However, only if you’re prepared to die. I’m both parched and pissed off, so I’ll suck to my heart’s content! That’s what you want, no? ...Now hurry up and come here!”

You hesitate.

“...Heh! You can’t, can you? You talked big ‘bout trustin’ me, but look at you now, huh?”

You get up and walk over to Ayato.

“...! Why...!? Are you not scared...!?”

You nod.

“Idiot! Don’t actually nod in agreement! ...Ah, god! Why are you like this!? Just get sick of me already! I’ve been treatin’ you like shit, haven’t I!? Weaklings should learn to think ‘bout themselves a lil’ more! Yetーー! You’re actin’ as if you’d be willin’ to offer me your everythin’...Fuck!”

*Rustle*

“...I’m the one who’s scared. Don’t keep on remindin’ me of the fact that I can’t go on without you. I don’t want to know that! How can someone so physically fragile, be so strong at the same time? Aren’t you afraid of dyin’!? ...Because I am! I wouldn’t know what to do if I were to lose you! Havin’ to suffer from the thirst isn’t what scares me...But knowin’ that you’ll no longer be with me, it terrifies me!”

You ask if that is why he has been avoiding you this whole time. 

“...!! Yeah, exactly! That’s why I’ve been avoidin’ you! By doin’ so, I could at least protect you...Yet...You stupid woman!!”

You apologize.

“Fuck! Don’t apologize! Don’t cry! ...Geez, now I seem like the fool!”

You continue to sob.

“...Whatever. Just dry those tears. They’re annoyin’...”

*Smooch*

“...If you won’t stop cryin’, I’m gonna kiss you even more!

You suddenly embrace Ayato.

“...!? The heck you doin’...? Since you wrapped your arms ‘round me, you want me to do more, right?”

You bury your face in his chest.

*Rustle rustle*

“...I’m sorry for pushin’ you away earlier.”

You look at him in surprise.

“What...? Is it that weird for me to apologize? ...You’re never hearin’ those words from me again!”

You ask for another kiss.

“Pretty bold of you to ask for another kiss. ...But I don’t mind. Mmh...”

*Smooch*

“Nnh...”

*Smooch*

“As many as you want...”

*Rustle*

“Seems like somebody enjoyed that?”

You note he melted in the kiss too.

“...As if!!”

*Smooch*

“Hah...Fuck. Guess I should have expected that doin’ this would make me crave for...”

You offer your blood.

“...No, I’ll just content myself with this for now.”

*Rustle*

“Heh. You’re probably the only chick on this earth who’d leave herself so utterly defenseless in front of a Vampire. ‘Cause it’s me? Hehehe...Just how hard did you fall for me?”

You ask if Ayato feels the same about you.

“...Aah? What? To me, you areーー ...What’s the point in voicin’ that shit out loud every damn minute?”

*Smooch*

“You can tell like this, no? Idiot.”

You puff out your cheeks.

“...I’ll still say it every now and then! ...Especially on a day like this.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“It’s nothing. But let us stay like this...Just a little longer.”

You agree.

*Rustle*

“...Ah...But, the end has come.”

You seem confused as Ayato takes his distance.

“The sky is starting to brighten up. I’m sure the sunrise looks stunning from up here as well, but I guess I can’t wait that long.”

*Rustle*

“Remember...You wanted to watch the sunrise by the lake, didn’t you? So I was hopin’ we could at least watch it together up here but...”

Ayato pulls out a knife.

*Cling*

“Seems like I won’t make it on time. ...And here I thought takin’ my final breath while bathin’ in the light of dawn might have just made for a fittin’ end for a Vampire.”

You ask him about the knife.

“...This bad boy? It’s a silver knife.”

You move to stop him.

“Stay away! ...Not another step. Now listen carefully. ...At this rate, you’ll one day die because I sucked you dry of your blood. I can’t survive without you, but I’m sure you can keep goin’, even when I’m gone. ーー No, without me, you’d even be able to live your life as you wish.”

You tear up.

“Oi. Why do you look as if you’re ‘bout to cry? ...If you stay with me, you’ll lose time you would otherwise have, dying an early death.”

You insist that you’re prepared and that you are fine with it. 

“Don’t just decide what’s okay all by yourself. Do you have any idea how I’d feel as the one who stays behind? ーー Smile. To us Vampires, death is something worth celebration. So...

ーー Death is the right option. For me.”

Ayato stabs himself.

“Uu...! Ugh...But...I wish I could have gone see that lake again...With you. ...To be honest, I sort of enjoyed...spendin’ time like that as well. ...See you.”

He collapses.

...

*Ding・Dongー Ding・Dongー*

 ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[hartro-owns-my-heart-ro]

*slams hands on table* look at these board!david doodles that started with the discord server talking about Evil David in the Evil Dress and snowballed outta hand from there

[One digital coloured illustration and 4 line sketches featuring David 7, a thin, dark skinned person with long dark curly hair, purple eyes, long eyelashes, pointed ears and silver antennae. 

Image 1: A bust of David on a black background. They are wearing a sparkly silver dress with white off-the-shoulder sleeves, a silver necklace, white dangly earrings with star-shaped pendants, and silver eyeshadow. Their head is tilted slightly and they are smiling with half lidded eyes.

Image 2: David in a suit, sitting attentively at a desk with wide eyes and his hands clasped. There is a speech bubble coming from offscreen that reads “We need to find a weakness in Galactonium that we can exploit so we can terminate them-” and a speech bubble from David that reads “I think I have a suggestion”.

Image 3: David in the dress, glaring and pointing to himself in the mirror. There is speech text that reads “I am going to be the most attractive fruit at this party”.

Image 4: Bathin, a slightly fat man with long loose hair and fin-like ears, staring up slightly with an entranced expression and a huge smile. He is wearing a pinstripe suit and bowtie, and holding a small platter of party nibbles. Behind him there is pink text that reads “In so much love” with a small heart in the O.

Image 5: David looking down at him with half lidded eyes and a mean-spirited smile. There is a thought bubble coming from them with a screenshot from an episode transcript that reads “”Bathin’s an idiot! Bathin’s an idiot!””. End ID]

if you like my work, please consider reblogging!

[stellarfirmaquotes]

TREXEL : "Bathin's an idiot." That's in the brief?

DAVID : No. No.

TREXEL : You didn't write— That was all I wanted in it David! If we didn’t have anything else, I wanted a dog with “Bathin is an idiot” shaved into the side.

DAVID : Then why did you— why did you say it two seconds after the deadline?!

TREXEL : Because I thought of it then! When I say something after the deadline think of it beforehand.

[recentanimenews]

Crunchyroll and WEBTOON's Noblesse Reveals New Trailer and Visual

  This October marks the debut of another Crunchyroll Original with the upcoming anime adaptation of writer Jeho Son and illustrator Kwangsu Lee's WEBTOON series Noblesse. The series is being directed by Yasutaka Yamamoto (Hinomaru Sumo), with Shunsuke Tada as chief director, Sayaka Harada on series composition, and Akiharu Ishii handling character designs and chief animation supervision. While we wait for the fall premiere, Crunchyroll shared a new trailer and key visual.

  First up, the promo:

    Key visual: 

    Cast for Noblesse revealed thus far includes:

  Cadis Etrama di Raizel - Tarusuke Shingaki (Mirio in My Hero Academia) 

Frankenstein - Daisuke Hirakawa (Momotaro in Hozuki's Coolheadedness)

M-21 - Kousuke Onishi (Neinhart in Fairy Tail)

Tashiro Yusuke - Ryota Iwasaki (Inasa in My Hero Academia)

Kase Manabu - Yohei Hamada (Bathin in As Miss Beelzebub Likes it.)

  Noblesse

Launch Time: October 2020

Territories: North America, Central America, South America, Europe, Africa, Oceania, the Middle East, and CIS 

  Synopsis:

Raizel awakens from his 820-year slumber.

He holds the special title of Noblesse, a pure-blooded Noble and protector of all other Nobles.

In an attempt to protect Raizel, his servant Frankenstein enrolls him at Ye Ran High School, where Raizel learns the simple and quotidian routines of the human world through his classmates.

  However, the Union, a secret society plotting to take over the world,

dispatches modified humans and gradually encroaches on Raizel’s life, causing him to wield his mighty power to protect those around him...

  After 820 years of intrigue, the secrets behind his slumber are finally revealed, and Raizel’s absolute protection as the Noblesse begins!

    -------

Joseph Luster is the Games and Web editor at Otaku USA Magazine. You can read his webcomic, BIG DUMB FIGHTING IDIOTS at subhumanzoids. Follow him on Twitter @Moldilox. 

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[froodlemonkey]

Stellar Firma Ep 20: Machinations and Memory

Even though I was like... 90% sure that David 7 wasn't going to end up in the blender, I was still very relieved that Hartro mentioned it pretty much as soon as she showed up. Meant I could just sit back and listen to the rest of the show.

and like... wow. WOW. By the end of it I felt *so bad* for Trexel.

I felt a bit bad for him the last three episodes, because David is not that subtle about trying to get him out the door the minute he shows up, but it's usually outweighed by a) the fact that David will end up dissolved in acid if he doesn't do something to improve their planets and b) usually Trexel says something stupid or mean that offsets how bad I feel for him

but in this episode, the first element got taken out of the equation really fast and although Trexel did still dip into silly self-aggrandizement, he never actually crossed the line into dickishness

And without that he's just... really fucking sad. Like the closest thing he has to a friend is the clone whose life literally depends on him, and now David-7 has the workaround, he's got no reason to really engage with him.

Jeez. Remember when this show was knife dogs and shaving "bathin's an idiot" into things?

[froodlemonkey]

Stellar Firma 23: Wrangling and Wrestling

I think this is my favourite episode so far. Even more than knife-dogs and bathin-is-an-idiot.

David passive-aggressively pulling out the mirror to make a point and having it backfire spectacularly because Trexel tries to punch his own reflection.

The metaphorical train. Facetious Freddie. Truculent Trexel. The Truculent Trexel theme song. "You've captured the essence of truculence but turned it into a positive."

" Ham." Trexel what even are you?

Kayfabe! Heels and comedy heels. Faces. Faces who become heels if they betray a friend. Ladder matches and money in the bank and briefcase battles!

Space whales and star marlins.

David being so thirsty for huge oiled up wrestlers that he out-screams Trexel to the point that Trexel actually stops talking for a second. And then he just keeps going!

And he gets so excited that he pretty much outs his whole plan right in front of Trexel.

"I'm on the floor!" *thwump* "I'm slithering away!"

"EAT CLONE SLURRY!" and then he tries to convince Trexel that he did it to himself.

The ever-increasing argument-hat sizes.

 "Its not Trexyl spelt with a Y or something!" I'm guessing that was a reference to their music producer who does in fact spell of with a Y.

Honestly i think they were the most like each other they'd ever been and it was *wonderful*. I replayed it twice straight through just for how toe-curlingly enjoyable it was.

[froodlemonkey]

Cardinal Fang

As much as I did want to see the documentary "Cardinal Fang: Beyond Gynocology", the reveal in Episode 20 that they (and maybe by extension their church?) were a benevolent force of kindness and washed socks was kinda comforting. With the possible exception of Bathin's nipples, I think Cardinal Fang is the only purely good entity in the whole Stellar Firma 'verse.

[radioromantic-moved]

happy friday time for the boys (and imogen <3)

-stole this from i think the discord server i’m in but it is very funny how no matter how many times trexel enters the room singing david always tries to get him to stop and focus despite him never stopping until he is done

-david buddy i thought the whole point of your super secret clone uprising plan was you weren’t telling trexel about your super secret clone uprising plan?? also the fact that almost every clone who’s worked for trexel has died almost immediately is actually sort of a nonissue right now because you’ve been setting a record over here having worked for him for like 3 months

-who are you declaring war against: stellar firma. who’s doing the war: clone

-trexel what the fuuuuuuuuuuck.......i am not shocked i am not shocked this checks out based on his Everything but now?? now is the time you choose to use facts and logic and you use it to be a dream crushing asshole?? no rights for you this week >:(

-this is why david shouldn’t have told trexel about the plan!!!

-they’re so fucking violent with each other right off the bat today...

-martin “good cows” blackwood vs trexel “cows are dicks” geistman 

-fucking hell REDDIT survived the apocalypse?? that’s the most horrific thing i’ve heard in any podcast ever

-oh wait that ouroboros joke was really funny but i don’t know if i can give it enough context to make it still funny. hold on.

-they’re talking about snakes, they get distracted talking about snakes, trexel says they’re talking in circles, imogen calls them an ouroboros

-because it’s a circle snake.....it’s a circle snake...

-“if it’s got big lovely eyes, it won’t hurt you :)” trexel darling (derogatory) have you ever heard of wolves or like. any big cats

-not gonna lie i think the people of earth could use some big sticks. especially in today’s climate. you see someone not wearing a mask, hit them with a stick. push them away from you.

-nice thing: trexel likes animals. bad thing: he likes them more than clones.

-trexel ought to know alll about napoleon, huh. a real. complex. subject, that.

-david can smash some tables, as a treat.

-“huh. he’s almost cute when he’s asleep.” h

-yall excuse me while i 

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-TREXEL DREAMS ABOUT DAVID...

-a beam of light in an episode that has hurt me (it’s ruined afterwards but this is my one afforded sweet moment shhhh)

-trexel bathin bitter exes confirmed...the server went insane over this

-“oh--what happened to the table???” first of all he’s SO disappointed sounding. that’s like really funny to me. also trexel gets an idiot pass this one time because this happens to me when i wake up from a nap almost constantly.

-this was a good episode and i loved the brief but it was really painful because i’m SO SO worried for david!!! because like...in a horrible way, trexel’s not technically wrong about clones only doing what they’re programmed to and only being able to break rules if they have a glitch like david does. but because it’s trexel telling david that and because he’s being a total asshole about it of course david’s not gonna listen and i’m so so worried for what might happen if he realizes what’s going on with the majority of the clones. people have already been talking about how they kind of put bathin on a pedestal and what if he’s not actually a good person but now i’m doubly scared for david i just want him to be happy