#batdick

[superbat-love]

Batman Appreciation Post #6

Batman’s Packing Heat

Batman Master Collection

[carf-writes]

“Robin, don’t,” he growled, digging his heels in on the linoleum floor. 

The rubber soles of his boots squeaked and his chair stopped moving. He dug them in harder, comically stomping his feet to drag himself forward. Damian was fighting him but luckily he had well over a hundred pounds on the kid.

“I have more room,” Damian grunted. 

“I don’t care.” The neck brace was digging into his exposed chin even beneath the duct tape preventing him from turning his head. He wiggled his fingers, trying to get circulation back into them with the ropes tied so tightly.

The drill whirred, inching ever closer, aimed at the center of his forehead.

“When I let you move the chairs, I hoped you would try to sacrifice the other to save yourselves,” a woman’s voice said over the speakers. She sounded like she was pouting. “Not fight over who gets to kill themselves first. It’s a few seconds difference anyway. You’re both dying.”

“Fuck you,” Damian snapped, sinking into a stream of elaborate curses in Arabic, most of which where anatomically impossible.

Dick grimaced as he dislocated his thumb. If he could just get Damian’s hands free…

The drill was getting closer, held by a robotic arm stolen from the Wayne Enterprises factory. The drill came from there too, designed for boring holes through titanium alloy. He suspected the sliding rail their chairs were mounted on back to back was also a Wayne souvenir. 

With Damian distracted, though still struggling against his own binds, Dick was able to drag himself forward again. Until the drill bit hovered millimeters above the cowl. He hoped the reinforced kevlar would spare him a few seconds. 

And he suspected that he would still be able to detangle the knots until the drill had fully penetrated his brain. Not a pleasant thought but a necessary one if he was going to get Damian out alive.

“Damn you to hell,” Damian snarled and something about his tone told Dick he wasn’t talking to their captor anymore. “I’m supposed to get Batman home.”

“It’s alright, Robin, there will always be a Batman.”

Dick was close now even as the drill touched the surface of the cowl, sending a painful vibration through his skull. Just a prelude to the main event.

“That’s the problem,” the woman calling herself The Hole in Things said . “No one needed Batman in the first place. Let alone hundreds of him. Doesn’t that make you feel awful, being expendable like this? That oh-so benevolent Bruce Wayne can’t be bothered to rescue you?”

“Actually,” Dick said with a smile as he felt the rope around Damian’s wrists snap. “Expendable is just fine with me.”

Damian rolled out of the chair, ducking under the drill aimed at his head.

The Hole in Things yelped. There was a clatter and the speaker went dead. She was running. Damian would have to give chase.

A birdarang snapped the drill bit above Dick’s head in half. Another fouled up the works. The drill sputtered and sparked, a trail of black smoke rising as it ground to a halt.

A moment later, Damian was at his side, shoving the apparatus aside, cutting Dick loose and dragging him from the chair.

They collapsed onto the floor. All of Dick’s weight fell on top of Damian. He grunted as the air was knocked out of him.

His whole body still ached from the beating a baker’s dozen of fanatical goons had given him that morning and the paralytic poison he’d been stabbed with to get him into position for that death trap. He groaned, trying to push himself off the boy.

Damian grabbed his head instead. “You’re bleeding.”

Dick pushed his hands aside, flopping onto his back. The ceiling was spinning. He snapped his thumbs back into place with a grunt.

“Just a scratch,” he muttered.

Damian’s face swam into his vision. His mouth was twisted into a tense frown.

“You had brain surgery a month ago. I was told the surgeon was the best in the world but now I have serious doubts.”

“Is this your way of calling me an idiot?”

“This is my way of saying I didn’t think you used to be so imbecilic.”

“You let her get away.”

“I saved your life, you ungrateful rube.”

Dick laughed and leveraged himself to his feet. He had to hold onto the wall to keep steady. He noticed that Damian was still not chasing their would-be murderer. Instead he was looking at Dick with something like concern.

“Are you alright?” He asked. Maybe Damian was more injured than he looked.

Damian’s face went red all the way up to his forehead when he was angry, just like his father.

“You said you were expendable,” he snapped.

“Yeah, that’s the idea of Batman International. No more one Batman to handle everything. I’ve got Gotham for now but I’m sure a certain Black Bat wouldn’t mind filling in.” Dick shrugged. “Actually, I think she’d probably do a much better job.” She wouldn’t have stumbled into that ambush, for starters.

Damian grabbed his arm. “We’re returning to HQ. You have sustained a serious brain injury.”

Dick touched the point on his forehead where the drill had bitten in. There was a small circular hole now in the cowl and when he looked down at his glove it was spotted with blood.

“I wouldn’t call it serious. My skull’s still more or less intact,” he joked.

Damian just clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in annoyance. “Tt.” He tugged on Dick’s arm. “Come.”

They really should be going after the woman who tried to murder them and clearly had it out for Bruce but if Damian wanted to go home, Dick wasn’t going to oppose. That must have been a harrowing experience for the kid and he was so reluctant to show vulnerability, Dick had no choice but to encourage it.

[metropolisblue]

batman : prodigal (1998)

(bruce's chinese takeout ref ⬇️)

[fun-esta]

Huh? 🤨📷

[d-amore]

my friend told me there's an official dc comic where the opening page is the batcock in all its glory. i need to find this comic for uh. scientific reasons

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

seeing stans mischaracterize feyre as this sweet, loving person like the girl didn’t skin a wolf. she’s a feral forest child, DO YOU HEAR ME?? A FERAL FOREST CHILD, SJM REDUCED HER FERALITY FOR THAT STUPID BAT AND I WILL NEVER NOT BE MAD ABT IT👹👹👹

[to-the-batcomputer]

i just really respect that the joker. th. how he. "the guy is hot and i want him on top of me." will take a billion punches. enjoys himself.

[signedsfs]

not to out myself but Yeah...I think it was all such a Bad Idea, and I. am a little confused about people who are generally so objective and analytical about most character choices Agreeing with him that it was a necessary choice to "help" Damian.

I have a vent fic wip that I may or may not finish so I just need to tell someone that I am...feeling so many things all the time about the consequences of the 16th birthday but...

primarily, right now, at this moment. without Robin/Bruce, Tim thought he would lose Dick and everyone else he knew through Robin. and then a little bit later when he quit for Jack, he got radio silence for Months until he became a potential victim, and even then it was just Cass stopping in to give the message and be like "I'll watch you to keep you safe 👁️👁️ ok bye" and he had actual Proof that without Robin, he would lose everyone.

and then. Dick "you're my equal (even tho I'm drastically changing your life without your knowledge or permission), you're my closest ally (even tho you don't even have a name to go out in the field to assist me as backup), I need you (even tho, as mentioned, I made a huge decision without your input because I didn't need it because I know best actually)" Grayson.

skipping over the fact that Dick didn't even have the time to say "you're fired" or anything resembling that, when Tim lost "Robin" to Damian, he felt like he lost everything else too. it didn't matter what Dick said about "equals" or "allies" or "needing". he already had Concrete Proof that it was all false. cheap words that are easily disproven do nothing in this situation, Dichard!

(disclaimer: I love and respect Dick Grayson, I just also think Dick Stopped Existing as soon as he made Damian his Robin for the most pathetic stupid illogical risky-ass excuse he could ever give for making anyone Robin (or a vigilante in general). "because he'll kill someone again". who the fuck says that?? who thinks "oh no oh god oh fuck this kid is gonna go off the rails he's gonna kill someone, I need to Put Him In A Place Of Power Over Oblivious Innocent Untrained People Who Are Expecting A Kind And Empathetic Hero To Save Them" hUH???? ok sorry, I just wanted to rant about what Tim "losing Robin" meant)

I agree with ya. Dick Grayson is fantastic, but it seems weird that he nuked his entire relationship with Tim (a very strong one that other fans have referred to them as "The Brothers") for the new kid.

Yes, Damian is a ten year old traumatized kid who just lost the dad he didn't really have the chance to get to know. Yes, Damian needed guidance, boundaries, and compassion.

But DC spent so much time and effort building up Tim and Dick's rapport only to obliterate it once the "blood son" came in (I also love Damian. This is not hate on the kid. This is confused commentary on DC's choices). It's just a strange idea, but that's also why it hurts so much when Dick does that to Tim.

Then you tie in Tim losing Robin by Dick to Tim's experiences before? Fuck. You are so right for that.

As far as the RR run, Dick could've handled Tim believing Bruce a bit better. I don't necessarily blame him for that one. I get why he wasn't supportive in the way Tim wanted, even though I would've chosen differently for my siblings.

Dick taking Robin, though? That was fucked up. I, honest to the gods, do not see how that was a justified course of action. I can understand his perspective, but it's still not okay. At all.

There's your very adequate analysis:

Robin, for Tim, is his tie to his loved ones. He has proof (twice) that without it, he does not have access to the people he cares about and his support system.

Dick said a lot of pretty words about "equals," but his actions were precisely contradictory to his "intentions."

Tim has had Robin taken from him before or had to give it up. He chose to go back despite this. He obviously feels strongly about being Robin

Damian has not proven, at this point, to be trustworthy as a vigilante (someone in power without oversight). He has instead shown use of excessive force

This isn't even going into the way he found out. That's just an extra layer.

The way Tim has repeated lost and regained Robin (even after RR) as well as his title as Red ROBIN are, to me, a sign that he's still trying to hold on. It's my belief that he would have moved onto a new title, like his predecessors, if it hadn't constantly been an unsure role.

His start was rocky as hell due to Bruce not initially wanting it. Tim had to prove himself and put himself into the costume.

He "quit" twice before it was taken from him in a traumatic way (nothing like being instilled with the fear that the position you've held for four years can suddenly be yanked out from under you without warning)

Damian and Jason both vehemently protested to him being Robin

It would make sense if all of these factors combined to Tim's unwillingness or inability to just let Robin go, especially when we factor in his reason to be Robin. Since Bruce never really gets "better" and continually falls back into bad habits, Tim needs to maintain his task of pulling Bruce back from the edge. We could also throw Jean Paul into this to further how Tim is forced to play as the barrier between a grown adult and their desire to harm others in the name of good.

So, Tim's time as Robin is marked by consistent instability while contrasted with his inherent position as Bruce's leash and the batfam fixer. While the other Robins did have times of doubt, the predecessors of Tim did not have the pervasive role insecurity with regards to Robin.

They had their big moment at the end and some smaller moments in-between, but not quite on the continous scale of Tim. Tim had three big moments and was still sucked back into Robin when Damian quit.

To be Robin is to earn Bruce's love and the ability to be part of the Wayne family. To lose Robin is the risk of losing that (at least to the perspectives of the Robins if not 100% the reality).

I'm not sure I'm articulating this accurately. Regardless, no wonder Tim clutches the title of Robin with bleeding hands no matter how much it cuts him and costs him.

[its-your-mind]

I keep trying to come up with an opener for this and I just. I can’t. So now you get to experience it with the same amount of prep that I got.

excuse?? me???? that is his? child????

and the robin costume is full-speedo so it doesnt even have the .001% possible plausible deniability of possibly being batdick and tim or batdick and damian on account of how tim added pants??? and even then the word “bromance” would be a WILD FUCKIN TAKE on account of how those are in fact his bros????

ALSO BRUCE IS ALREADY IN A BROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH LIKE HALF THE JLA??? WHERE’S MY SUPERBAT BROMANCE SHIRT HUH DC??? WHAT IF I WANNA SEE SOME WW & BATMAN FRIENDSHIP POSITIVITY.

where are my toxic bromance green lantern/batman tshirts, dc.

fuckign.

batman and robin. fucking. b r o m a n c e . what the fuck.

[celticcatgirl2]

“Thanks allot BATDICK You KNOW how much that car COST ME?!?! ¡Ay Caramba!”

[petewentz-]

I bought the stupid fucking batdick jeans 😭😭😭

[anxiousnerdwritings]

im so sorry to send this thought in like right when i saw you say its oksy to send in asks but like so dhdhiihdgddjdbhd,,,,

ive been on a deathstroke phase recently nd ive been likr hallucinating thoughts him takin reader as an apprentice cuz idk he saw potential in them nd they roll w/ it

or my other thoughts where its the above paragraph but reader doesnt have a clear moral code nd bruce is like "you. youre coming w me" while slade's now hauling ass to get his apprentice back from the Bat. whatre ur rhoughts bestie?

I love the thought of Slade not feeling like he can leave his obsession alone in the presence of Batman without the overwhelming thought that the caped crusader will inevitably swindle his apprentice away from him. Like, whenever the Reader has any interaction with Batman, Slade’s running faster than any speedster to cockblock the Dark Knight from successfully adopting his kid. Like, not on his fucking watch BatDick. This one’s his.

Also, love the idea of the Reader having nothing else better to do with their time than to take up being Deathstroke’s apprentice. Like, they’ve never heard of this man or anything but why not give his regime a try. Meanwhile, Slade is hit with the realization of what it’s like to be Batman and adopt a sidekick.

[tadpolesonalgae]

absolutely hollering that one of ur fic warnings was “only child writing siblings” LMFAO

Oh my gosh I remember that fic 🫠

Pretty sure it it’s His (Mine.), but yeah, I don’t have siblings but I’ve seen those rants people go on about the batboys calling one another brother when it would actually be something like batdick 😭

[infectiouspiss]

Bishop I do have the batdick panel if u want to see it

SHOW ME HIS COCK 💥💥💥💥

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

notice how i didn’t start this….

[the-fallen-blue]

Would you say Batdick is, in his own way, fun to read/hate as long as the other characters acknowledge how Bad he is?

Hm.

Silver Age Superdick is certainly pretty fun, in his weird lessons to his friends and his perpetual war with the equally terrible Lois. I think a large part of that, though, is that it's not just over, but also totally irrelevant. No one but Grant Morrison cares about that shit, and even they basically just want to mine it for weirdness, not for characterization. It's sort of the same kind of freedom that comes with fanfic, almost; no matter how bad or wrong or upsetting any given fic is, at the end of the day, canon is still there, unmoved, untouched, overriding whatever noncanon nonsense some rando did to your fave.

There isn't the same clean separation between the irritating Scary Batgod who got Steph and Ted killed and the fun paternal dude in Gotham Family Adventures. It's sort of supposed to be the same guy, with the same general history, all the way from Crisis to now. And without that separation, if you have a story where he's a massive shithead, even if he gets called on it - even if he gets meaningfully punished for it by the narrative, which is pretty atypical for Batdick - then that's still hanging over any story where he's actually a decent, even heroic human being. If everyone is just acting like he's good, this is how he is, we can trust him and rely on his friendship and love, or whatever, even though those stories where he very much is not are still in continuity and relevant to the current plot, then he's still kind of getting away with it in this story, even if he was called out in the last one, if that makes sense.