bubudrc

[superbat-love]

Batman Appreciation Post #6

Batman’s Packing Heat

Batman Master Collection

[carf-writes]

“Robin, don’t,” he growled, digging his heels in on the linoleum floor. 

The rubber soles of his boots squeaked and his chair stopped moving. He dug them in harder, comically stomping his feet to drag himself forward. Damian was fighting him but luckily he had well over a hundred pounds on the kid.

“I have more room,” Damian grunted. 

“I don’t care.” The neck brace was digging into his exposed chin even beneath the duct tape preventing him from turning his head. He wiggled his fingers, trying to get circulation back into them with the ropes tied so tightly.

The drill whirred, inching ever closer, aimed at the center of his forehead.

“When I let you move the chairs, I hoped you would try to sacrifice the other to save yourselves,” a woman’s voice said over the speakers. She sounded like she was pouting. “Not fight over who gets to kill themselves first. It’s a few seconds difference anyway. You’re both dying.”

“Fuck you,” Damian snapped, sinking into a stream of elaborate curses in Arabic, most of which where anatomically impossible.

Dick grimaced as he dislocated his thumb. If he could just get Damian’s hands free…

The drill was getting closer, held by a robotic arm stolen from the Wayne Enterprises factory. The drill came from there too, designed for boring holes through titanium alloy. He suspected the sliding rail their chairs were mounted on back to back was also a Wayne souvenir. 

With Damian distracted, though still struggling against his own binds, Dick was able to drag himself forward again. Until the drill bit hovered millimeters above the cowl. He hoped the reinforced kevlar would spare him a few seconds. 

And he suspected that he would still be able to detangle the knots until the drill had fully penetrated his brain. Not a pleasant thought but a necessary one if he was going to get Damian out alive.

“Damn you to hell,” Damian snarled and something about his tone told Dick he wasn’t talking to their captor anymore. “I’m supposed to get Batman home.”

“It’s alright, Robin, there will always be a Batman.”

Dick was close now even as the drill touched the surface of the cowl, sending a painful vibration through his skull. Just a prelude to the main event.

“That’s the problem,” the woman calling herself The Hole in Things said . “No one needed Batman in the first place. Let alone hundreds of him. Doesn’t that make you feel awful, being expendable like this? That oh-so benevolent Bruce Wayne can’t be bothered to rescue you?”

“Actually,” Dick said with a smile as he felt the rope around Damian’s wrists snap. “Expendable is just fine with me.”

Damian rolled out of the chair, ducking under the drill aimed at his head.

The Hole in Things yelped. There was a clatter and the speaker went dead. She was running. Damian would have to give chase.

A birdarang snapped the drill bit above Dick’s head in half. Another fouled up the works. The drill sputtered and sparked, a trail of black smoke rising as it ground to a halt.

A moment later, Damian was at his side, shoving the apparatus aside, cutting Dick loose and dragging him from the chair.

They collapsed onto the floor. All of Dick’s weight fell on top of Damian. He grunted as the air was knocked out of him.

His whole body still ached from the beating a baker’s dozen of fanatical goons had given him that morning and the paralytic poison he’d been stabbed with to get him into position for that death trap. He groaned, trying to push himself off the boy.

Damian grabbed his head instead. “You’re bleeding.”

Dick pushed his hands aside, flopping onto his back. The ceiling was spinning. He snapped his thumbs back into place with a grunt.

“Just a scratch,” he muttered.

Damian’s face swam into his vision. His mouth was twisted into a tense frown.

“You had brain surgery a month ago. I was told the surgeon was the best in the world but now I have serious doubts.”

“Is this your way of calling me an idiot?”

“This is my way of saying I didn’t think you used to be so imbecilic.”

“You let her get away.”

“I saved your life, you ungrateful rube.”

Dick laughed and leveraged himself to his feet. He had to hold onto the wall to keep steady. He noticed that Damian was still not chasing their would-be murderer. Instead he was looking at Dick with something like concern.

“Are you alright?” He asked. Maybe Damian was more injured than he looked.

Damian’s face went red all the way up to his forehead when he was angry, just like his father.

“You said you were expendable,” he snapped.

“Yeah, that’s the idea of Batman International. No more one Batman to handle everything. I’ve got Gotham for now but I’m sure a certain Black Bat wouldn’t mind filling in.” Dick shrugged. “Actually, I think she’d probably do a much better job.” She wouldn’t have stumbled into that ambush, for starters.

Damian grabbed his arm. “We’re returning to HQ. You have sustained a serious brain injury.”

Dick touched the point on his forehead where the drill had bitten in. There was a small circular hole now in the cowl and when he looked down at his glove it was spotted with blood.

“I wouldn’t call it serious. My skull’s still more or less intact,” he joked.

Damian just clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in annoyance. “Tt.” He tugged on Dick’s arm. “Come.”

They really should be going after the woman who tried to murder them and clearly had it out for Bruce but if Damian wanted to go home, Dick wasn’t going to oppose. That must have been a harrowing experience for the kid and he was so reluctant to show vulnerability, Dick had no choice but to encourage it.

[metropolisblue]

batman : prodigal (1998)

(bruce's chinese takeout ref ⬇️)

[fun-esta]

Huh? 🤨📷

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

seeing stans mischaracterize feyre as this sweet, loving person like the girl didn’t skin a wolf. she’s a feral forest child, DO YOU HEAR ME?? A FERAL FOREST CHILD, SJM REDUCED HER FERALITY FOR THAT STUPID BAT AND I WILL NEVER NOT BE MAD ABT IT👹👹👹

[to-the-batcomputer]

i just really respect that the joker. th. how he. "the guy is hot and i want him on top of me." will take a billion punches. enjoys himself.

[its-your-mind]

I keep trying to come up with an opener for this and I just. I can’t. So now you get to experience it with the same amount of prep that I got.

excuse?? me???? that is his? child????

and the robin costume is full-speedo so it doesnt even have the .001% possible plausible deniability of possibly being batdick and tim or batdick and damian on account of how tim added pants??? and even then the word “bromance” would be a WILD FUCKIN TAKE on account of how those are in fact his bros????

ALSO BRUCE IS ALREADY IN A BROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH LIKE HALF THE JLA??? WHERE’S MY SUPERBAT BROMANCE SHIRT HUH DC??? WHAT IF I WANNA SEE SOME WW & BATMAN FRIENDSHIP POSITIVITY.

where are my toxic bromance green lantern/batman tshirts, dc.

fuckign.

batman and robin. fucking. b r o m a n c e . what the fuck.

[celticcatgirl2]

“Thanks allot BATDICK You KNOW how much that car COST ME?!?! ¡Ay Caramba!”

[petewentz-]

I bought the stupid fucking batdick jeans 😭😭😭

[anxiousnerdwritings]

im so sorry to send this thought in like right when i saw you say its oksy to send in asks but like so dhdhiihdgddjdbhd,,,,

ive been on a deathstroke phase recently nd ive been likr hallucinating thoughts him takin reader as an apprentice cuz idk he saw potential in them nd they roll w/ it

or my other thoughts where its the above paragraph but reader doesnt have a clear moral code nd bruce is like "you. youre coming w me" while slade's now hauling ass to get his apprentice back from the Bat. whatre ur rhoughts bestie?

I love the thought of Slade not feeling like he can leave his obsession alone in the presence of Batman without the overwhelming thought that the caped crusader will inevitably swindle his apprentice away from him. Like, whenever the Reader has any interaction with Batman, Slade’s running faster than any speedster to cockblock the Dark Knight from successfully adopting his kid. Like, not on his fucking watch BatDick. This one’s his.

Also, love the idea of the Reader having nothing else better to do with their time than to take up being Deathstroke’s apprentice. Like, they’ve never heard of this man or anything but why not give his regime a try. Meanwhile, Slade is hit with the realization of what it’s like to be Batman and adopt a sidekick.

[tadpolesonalgae]

absolutely hollering that one of ur fic warnings was “only child writing siblings” LMFAO

Oh my gosh I remember that fic 🫠

Pretty sure it it’s His (Mine.), but yeah, I don’t have siblings but I’ve seen those rants people go on about the batboys calling one another brother when it would actually be something like batdick 😭

[infectiouspiss]

Bishop I do have the batdick panel if u want to see it

SHOW ME HIS COCK 💥💥💥💥

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

notice how i didn’t start this….

[the-fallen-blue]

Would you say Batdick is, in his own way, fun to read/hate as long as the other characters acknowledge how Bad he is?

Hm.

Silver Age Superdick is certainly pretty fun, in his weird lessons to his friends and his perpetual war with the equally terrible Lois. I think a large part of that, though, is that it's not just over, but also totally irrelevant. No one but Grant Morrison cares about that shit, and even they basically just want to mine it for weirdness, not for characterization. It's sort of the same kind of freedom that comes with fanfic, almost; no matter how bad or wrong or upsetting any given fic is, at the end of the day, canon is still there, unmoved, untouched, overriding whatever noncanon nonsense some rando did to your fave.

There isn't the same clean separation between the irritating Scary Batgod who got Steph and Ted killed and the fun paternal dude in Gotham Family Adventures. It's sort of supposed to be the same guy, with the same general history, all the way from Crisis to now. And without that separation, if you have a story where he's a massive shithead, even if he gets called on it - even if he gets meaningfully punished for it by the narrative, which is pretty atypical for Batdick - then that's still hanging over any story where he's actually a decent, even heroic human being. If everyone is just acting like he's good, this is how he is, we can trust him and rely on his friendship and love, or whatever, even though those stories where he very much is not are still in continuity and relevant to the current plot, then he's still kind of getting away with it in this story, even if he was called out in the last one, if that makes sense.

[outoffandom]

I wouldn't say Talia is to Jason what Dick was to Damian. I wouldn't make the comparaison even. Talia and Dick's position and intents differ too greatly, just like Damian and Jason are brought (or brought back) to fill very different purposes toward Batman.  They're not meant to be parrallels.

Dick takes Damian under his wing to give Bruce's son a chance to be something else than what he was conditioned to be. Keep in mind Damian’s affiliation to Bruce is very important here. Talia takes Jason under her wing because she nurses the hope to help Bruce and possibly win his love by "healing his son". The character's affiliation to Bruce is here again the main motivation. That + an Al Ghul being involvemed, are about the only thing Talia/Jason and Dick/Damian have in common on this topic.  

People here like to forget how Talia is as 100% Bruce-centered as everything else is in Batman. Here's her reaction to hearing about DitF :

She is all about Bruce : 

While seemingly altruist, Talia is more selfish/interested in her goal than Dick is because she never really takes Jason or what's best for him into consideration. It's just not what's on her mind. There is also an obvious lack of consent since Jason is a zombie at this point. There is zero moral or consent issue between Damian and Dick as the situation/context is completely different. The point is Talia is doing this for Bruce and Jason is as a tool here, very literally.  She is "kind" to her and Bruce's tool in her very limited capacities. Even when her plan is slowly but surely backfiring at her goal. 

And when she's not only doing it for Bruce, it's about the mystery. Under the disguise of love, as she can conceptualize it :

Not that it changes anything but, whose love?

Another major difference is how they tutors their respective pet-project. Unlike BatDick, Talia tutors Jason through mentors mostly, regardless of the continuity (LD or RHATO). After that, they both unceremoniously drop off each other's life when it's convenient for the plot. The reason for this is not very organic and wasn't explored as far as I know, which is exactly why I wouldn’t compare Talia/Jason to Dick/Damian seriously.  

Basically, her character has no need for Jason when Damian exist and is Robin, tying her to Bruce (aka: the main character) much more efficiently and through blood. Same logic for Jason, who has never needed Talia to have ties with Bruce to begin with, or to resurrect. She wasn't part of his resurrection until an annual story added the concept (published after UtRH) and even then, the main reason as to why Jason is alive again is because Superboy Prime punched reality. Unlike the movie version, the Lazarus pit or Ra are completely absent in the UtRH comic.

In contrast, Damian was meant to be this token mini-Bruce and a foil to Dick while Bruce was dead, very early on his introduction. Jason wasn't created or resurrected with Talia in mind at all, or vice-versa. It's why Talia and Jason don't really complement one another and why comparing them is kind of a mute point imo. They both got further twisted to work together and they're not even important for each other's "development".

[bougiebutchbitch]

look normally I ain’t into jarley at all - batjokes and harlivy for life.

BUT.

A new wlw/mlm harley & joker dynamic just got unlocked in this one particular fic where batman is ridiculously hung, so harley gets a bunch of increasingly bigger strap-ons to fuck joker with so he can flirt with batman with the confidence he can handle it if batman finally admits he wants to dick him down

Just - friendly, chatty sex where they’re not into each other but know each other really well and are going at it anyway and having a bunch of fun jhghgsd???? To help Joker fulfill his mission of taking that big ol’ batdick?

Somehow I adore this?