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brekkerism · 4 years ago

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BASIC INSTINCT (Part 1 - A Spencer Reid Series)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Summary: (Y/N) has recently joined the bau through non conventional and rather privileged means. Couple that with a dark and troubled past, all she really wants is a fresh start. What she didn’t predict getting in her way of that, was one Special Agent Dr Spencer Reid. She thinks it’s hopeless and he’ll hate her forever. That is, until she sees Dr Reid on a rather...unusual place.

A/n: I kinda can’t believe this is my first Spencer Reid/Criminal minds fic. I’ve been obsessed for so long but I never got the courage to post anything. Well, we’ll see how this one goes. I really do hope all of you enjoy this, since I’m planning to make it multi chapters and I’m too in love to abandon it! Forgive me for not giving y’all the smut right away but good things come to those who are patient! And also huge thanks to @imagining-in-the-margins for being such a wonderful human and helping me beta this first one. Shout out to all the lovely people in the discord for encouraging me enough to write this. And also for my sweet liv, bc if she didn’t like this I would def not have posted.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word count: 2320

Rating: R-no actual hard smut. For now.

Content warning: 12+ years age gap, description of bdsm scenes and play, swear words, brief fingering

*********

Since the first day I stepped in the bau, I knew Dr.Spencer Reid would not like me one bit.

Call it a gut feeling, a hunch, or maybe my justified pessimism.

I knew the moment my dad told me, fresh out of the academy and not even slightly experienced at 24 years old, that I ‘mysteriously’ got a generous offer for a job with one of the best teams the FBI had to offer, that I wasn’t going to be liked by a lot of people. Because it wasn’t a mystery how I got the position. It was actually really plain and simple, and could be boiled down to one word:

Nepotism

I didn’t ask for it; I didn’t want it (no matter how much I actually wanted the position, but by my earning it on my own merits), but I completely understood something like this was likely to happen. I knew it the moment I moved back home and decided that the only thing worthwhile I really wanted to do was join the FBI. My dad was a good guy who was just trying to help me, his intentions were just a little misguided. It happens.

What doesn’t ‘just’ happen is that my dad is the deputy director of the FBI. His helping me was ‘making calls’ and ‘pulling strings’, which instantly gives my peers every reason to doubt every achievement I have.

But I was completely ready for it.

What I wasn’t ready for is for everyone on the team to be normal and so welcoming to me, like I was any other agent. It was everything I wanted.

Well, everyone did that except him. I couldn’t figure it out why, but from the first minute he turned those eyes towards me, looking me up and down but never quite reaching my eyes, I could feel the scrutiny under the stare. Almost like he was saying “Really? This is it?”.

But with a blink it was gone, and he turned away from me and put his attention to the book in his hand so fast I almost thought I imagined the whole thing.

But I knew, I knew I saw it. And I knew that even if I didn’t want it, my body and brain would spend days trying to make him acknowledge me again, to look me up and down again, to try and prove to him what I’ve been trying to prove to everyone:

I deserved to be there. I could earn it by myself. I just need the chance to do it.

And so, my journey to try to not only be useful but a valuable agent, someone he would have to notice began.

And it was shit.

Everyone was so willing not only to teach me, but to listen to my input.

Luke always had my back, both of us being the newbies in the team. JJ and Tara were always open to listening to theories, doubts and rambling, besides being totally badass inspirations. Penelope always had a eager and friendly attitude that could comfort me immediately, and she welcomed me with open arms. Emily and Rossi were patient, while also pushing me to be so much better, and being the best mentors they could be.

None of them even seemed to have even a passing thought of giving me special treatment or harsher judgment. It was almost perfect.

If it wasn’t for Special Fucking Agent Doctor Reid. He wouldn’t even be an asshole towards me, oh no, It was much, much worse. He ignored me.

He was almost happy to pretend I didn’t even exist. Of course there were situations that he couldn’t avoid socializing, as minimal as it was, but it was like he was talking to a wall. He looked at me like he was surprised that I was even there. He wouldn’t acknowledge me unless he was made to. He wouldn’t even correct me when I was wrong. At this point I was sure that I could be screaming bloody murder at him and he wouldn’t take his eyes off whatever he was doing.

It was the most frustrating and irritating thing that has ever happened to me. It made my blood boil over. It made me cry with sorrow.

And I couldn’t even figure out why. I didn’t know what it was that made me crazy because Spencer Reid wouldn’t look my way.

So I did what every angry and frustrated normal young adult does.

I went to a sex dungeon to drink my mixed feelings away and watch BDSM scenes. Duh.

Even though I wasn’t going there to play, and I thought I would never be able to play again, it was still a safe place for me. A place where I could see people that once knew the real me and provided a place free of any judgement. People who didn’t know who I was outside of those walls, who thought of me as just another person in that safe and different little world.

It also helped that watching, as much as it wasn’t my preference before, was the only thing that could properly get me off these days. And after everything, I thought I still deserved the ability to enjoy some parts of it.

And so, after saying my goodbyes to Pen, JJ amd Emily, and finding flimsy excuses not to join them at the bar for Friday drinks, I hopped the elevator, wondering how long would it take me to get properly dressed and drive across town, and if I was going to be able to call more of my old friends.

But all my happy thoughts of getting to immerse myself on a world I still loved were immediately clouded when a hand stopped the elevator and went in with me. His hand.

Great, just the perfect ending to an shitty day. A awkward elevator ride with Spencer Reid. And as always, he didn’t bother to acknowledge me, even though it was just the two of us riding down.

I was trying so hard to be in a good mood; to ignore the shitty end to a shittier case and go somewhere where I could try to be happy. But I just had to be met with his silence, his awkwardness, his existence in general. I didn’t want to feel like that today. So before I could stop myself, I did something stupid

“So, what are your plans for the weekend, Doctor?”

Stupid. Stupid, stupid. Like he would voluntarily participate in small talk with me, something he already didn’t like, with someone he didn’t even bother to not like.

“I think I’m going to go to a party with a friend today.”

Now that took me by surprise. No short replies? No one syllable answers? He actually told me something out of his own free will? He engaged in small talk?!

“O-oh? I didn’t know you were one for partying... like, at all. Which friend are you going with? Do I know him?”

Talk to me. Keep engaging in small talk, please.

“You don’t really know me well enough to judge if I am one for partying or not, now, do you? And you definitely wouldn’t know her. I don’t only hang out with people on our team, contrary to popular belief.”

Well that was extremely uncalled for. And rude. I thought that it was the first time he ever referred to me as part of the team, but that was an small detail to analyze later.

“No need to be defensive or rude, I was just asking.”

“Well, don’t.”

He was back to having that stupid blank expression on his face, back to not dignifying me with a proper answer, and that just wouldn’t do, would it?

I had a response. I had an excellent, spectacular comeback to use, but before I could actually defend myself in any way, the elevator dinged open. He couldn’t get out fast enough.

It was infuriating. So I did the only reasonable thing:

I followed him to his car to give him a piece of my mind.

Because of those immensely long legs, he almost got there quick enough to drive away and avoid me, but I would not let my stubby short legs get in the way.

I got my hand in before he could close his door, much like he did with the elevator. He still refused to look up at me but, the cheer disbelief and confusion on his face was enough of a response. Can’t ignore me now, asshole.

“You know, the only reason I don’t know anything about you, is because you pretend like I don’t exist. So don’t be needlessly rude to me. It’s better to keep not saying anything at all.”

And there it was. It was just tip of the iceberg, but at least I acknowledged it. I could actually feel a smirk forming on my face.

“Remove your hand please.”

And he finally looked up at me. All the disbelief and annoyance on his face were gone, replaced by that utterly bored and blank stare.

I actually wanted to scream. How was this the same guy that couldn’t stop talking and rambling enthusiastically about any and everything to anyone, the same person who had a perfect smile and warmth on his eyes for everyone else. How.

It was too frustrating. So I stepped back, removing my hand from his car door and walking towards my own car. It was better to just let it end already so I can wallow in my humiliation over this failed attempt at confrontation.

It almost put me in a bad enough mood that I didn’t want to go to the ‘club,’ but I had already promised Amara, who was not only one of my best friends but also happened to be dating that particular BDSM dungeon’s Mistress. There was no getting out even if I wanted to.

And I didn’t really want to.

****

A hour and dress change later, I was ready to go. This was absolutely nothing like the old outfits I used to wear for this events, but then again, I wasn’t the same girl. Not entirely.

So I opted for a silky black dress with a cowl neck and the best heels I had. It was sexy enough for a night of normal clubbing, but rather tame for a night at a dungeon. It was exactly what I wanted. It was less likely in that type of dungeon for anybody to approach or proposition me if I didn’t look experienced and in my element.

Even if I secretly was.

So I got ready, took my time to properly breathe, and left everything that wasn’t this night or positive thoughts behind the locked door of the apartment. I could come back to them later.

Right now, I was going to be happy and have fun.

*****

I was not having fun anymore. It was unfortunate, and I felt like somehow that this had to be the bad mood I was in from a particular encounter earlier. I just couldn’t find anything that excited me the way I wanted it to. I had made the rounds with Amara, and she had showed me all of the new rooms and new toys before every space got occupied with busy couples and groups.

It was beyond fun exploring before the spaces were being actually used, and imagining what each person would get out of those rooms. It was a pleasant and happy feeling.

But soon enough the dungeon got filled with more and more people, and each room was occupied and used. Most were open for all that wanted to watch, but each scene I passed failed to get my attention. It was especially more daunting and lonely when Amara left to put on a show with her girlfriend in the main room.

And as pretty and wonderful as they looked, I just didn’t feel like watching a couple as in love as Amara and Celeste performing tonight. It was just... a little too much for me. After everything, most loving was.

No, what I was looking for was not that. I was looking for the thing I used to crave. The thing that used to keep me going at all times of the day.

I was looking for fucking. Not couples making love, not couples having sex, not pet play, not elaborate scenes or people using toys so strange and complicated I couldn’t make out what was what.

I was looking for someone completely fucking dominating their partner.

It shouldn’t be impossible to find. Not on a Friday night, and not in a club this good.

And I did. I finally found it.

The dom had his back to the audience and the door with the little window I was watching through. He was turned toward his sub standing on the side while she spread her legs on the bed, her hands tied up to the headboard, showing her pussy to the audience along the wall. It was the perfect scene for me. In fact, too perfect.

She even looked a little like me, in fact. Same build, similar hair. It got me even more excited to watch this through. I took a deep breath and finally opened the door. Stepping in, I leaned against the door, having a direct view to the bed.

And god did I want to watch.

The dom still had his back to us,but I wasn’t watching him. Rather, I watched the girl’s cunt and how he was fingering it, not saying anything for her or us yet.

He has really nice hands.

Really, really nice. In fact I don’t think I’ve seen such nice hands since –

Not the time!

The girls face looked rather blissful, and I imagined three of those pretty and long fingers should be doing just the trick for her.

But then she did something that displeased him.

She moaned. Loudly.

The sound was immediately followed by a sharp slap in her face.

Fuck, that made me wet.

But before I could even entertain the idea of getting my hands inside my panties, the dom spoke.

He spoke in a voice I almost never heard directed towards me, but could pick out in any crowd.

He spoke in the voice of the man that made me so mad I almost didn’t come to the club in the first place.

“Are my fingers inside you too much? Cause I’ll fucking stop if you can’t obey and stay quiet.”

And I froze. I froze and panicked and had to stop myself from screaming by bringing a hand up to my mouth.

Because that was Spencer Reid, in a BDSM dungeon, dominating a girl right in front of me.

Taglist: @imagining-in-the-margins @spencer-reid-in-a-pool @gretaamyk @prettyricky187 @sunlight-moonrise @fanficlibrary82 @blazinvixen @samanddeanstolethetardis221b @httpnxtt @reidetic @hyper-fxation @blushingspencer @reidlusts @wishingwellwriting @redbullchick

I feel like I missed a lot of peeps but please know I’m still thankful ma loves

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iplaymatchmaker · 3 years ago

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hello and good day! i would like a matchup for a3! and ikerev, please! she/her pronouns. you can call me juice, though! hm i think a good description of me personality wise would be im usually cheerful, friendly, childish but i tend to hide a lot of my negative feelings and overthink quite a lot. towards others i'm always curious about the littlest details of someone's hobbies or interest and sometimes i talk more than i listen. love literature and things like fashion or games (1)

Hello, thanks for requesting juice! Sorry for the long wait but I hope you enjoy it! I was pretty excited to write a match up for a3! since it’s been living rent free in my head for the last few weeks. I got a little carried away with the last prompt cause it was so fun to write, but I hope you like it! Also, the ikerev one might take some time but I’ll try to not take too long. Have fun!

I match you with

Tsuzuru!

The two of you first meet after you watch one of their plays, “A Clockwork Heart.” When you realize that the lead and writer is a classmate of yours from college you can’t help but approach him a few days later to discuss the play further.

He seems self conscious at first but quickly opens up as the two of you discuss his script and before you know it one conversation has turned into an in-depth discussion over lunch.

After that first encounter, both of you start talking more often, quickly growing closer. Tsuzuru appreciates your cheerful attitude, making it easy for him to be comfortable around you.

Considering your love for literature, you often help him brainstorm for new ideas, always looking forward to seeing how he brings it to life on stage.

It is easy for you to fit in with the rest of the boys from Mankai, despite their constant prying on your relationship with Tsuzuru. After all the time the two of you spend together, it is no surprise when none of the boys (except Azami) bat an eyelash when you make it official, after a lot of back and forth between friendship and romance.

Prompt: Bonding

“The reason S was created in the first place was because Luke needed a companion. It’s tragic that he was the one who left him in the end.”

“Well, yes, but he also taught him to open up to people, insuring that he wouldn’t be alone when he was gone.”

You and Tsuzuru had been discussing the end of his latest play “A Clockwork Heart” for a while, arguing over whether or not the ending was tragic. When you approached him to offer your praise for his work earlier that day you hadn’t been expecting him to engage in your opinions on a play he wrote, but he was actually deeply invested in the conversation, despite the matter at hand being trivial to the actual substance of the story.

“He couldn’t have known though. He also put his own wishes aside to protect him. That alone makes the ending tragic.” You vividly remembered the tears you had shed when the show reached its climax, a result of both his script and his acting.

“It depends on your idea of what the ending was. S was a machine, so as long as Luke was alive they could meet again, when it was safe for the both of them. That makes the ending-“

Ring Ring

You almost chucked at the generic sound his phone made as it vibrated.

“Give me a sec.” he moved away from the bench before answering. It wasn’t long before he returned, a flush expression on his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I had kept you for so long. I actually need to get going.” He ran a hand through his hair, smiling shyly. It was only then that you noticed what time it was.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bother you for that long!” Now you were both flushed, the realization dawning on you that you had spent two hours talking.

“I-it’s fine. Um, we can continue this tomorrow, if you’d like?” you were surprised he actually wanted to talk again, a smile spreading over your face.

“Definitely. “

“Okay. See you then!” he waved as he ran off while simultaneously trying to dial someone, resulting in him almost falling on his face. You looked forward to tomorrow.

After that first encounter, you continued to meet during lunch to talk about other works, quickly realizing you had a similar taste in books and movies. It was an easy transition, going from acquaintances to friends.

“How’s the summer troupe’s play coming along?” It was easy to tell that he had been losing sleep again from the – almost – comical black circle under his eyes, but you asked anyway, hoping that you could offer some help.

“I know what I want to write, the words are just refusing to form and settle themselves on the page.” The frustration was evident on his face as he tried to put the pieces flying around his head in order. You tried to think of a way to help him but you knew that he needed to figure this out on his own.

“Come on.” You forcefully pulled him out of his chair, carefully shutting his laptop.

“W-wait. Where are we going?” you pushed him along, despite his protesting.

“Trust me.” You flashed him your biggest smile before setting of, only mildly aware that your hand was still around his wrist.

“The movies?” he seemed confused over what your objective was but you were confident it would help him out of his slump.

“Yes. Come on, I’ll even get us popcorn!” you were beaming as you led him inside.

“What are we watching?” Tsuzuru, finally resigned to his fate, flipped through the leaflet, looking at the moves currently playing.

“Your choice, I’m fine with whatever.” You hurried to the bar to pick up snacks, leaving him at the ticket booth.

“Look at those effects.”

“The acting is top notch.”

Tsuzuru had been so immersed in the movie he seemed to have forgotten all about his tiredness. When you exited the theatre you could practically see the gears turning in his head.”

“It’s a very different take on pirates than the summer troupe’s play, but if I exaggerate the characters even more then there would be great opportunity for comedy.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you observed him, completely lost in his own mind.

“So I take it the creative juices are flowing again?” he looked back at you, as if seeing you clearly for the first time in days.

“Yes! Thank you!” He put his arms around you, too far lost in his excitement to feel any awkwardness.

“I-I have to go write! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He continued shouting thank you over his shoulder as he run off with newfound energy. You expected you wouldn’t see him the next day, considering he’d probably be passed out by then, but you smiled anyway.

“See you later!”

Prompt : Cinderella:

“So, you’re thinking of doing Cinderella for the next play?” You and Tsuzuru were hanging out in his room, taking full advantage of Masumi’s absence that weekend.

“Yeah… I’m not sure how to go about it though. Everyone in the Spring Troupe agreed that I should be lead this time around but I just don’t see myself in the shoes of a prince… Itaru would probably be a better fit for the role.” You couldn’t help throwing a pillow his way.

“Hey! What was that for?” You sat up a little straighter, tempted to glare at him until he picked up on your annoyance.

“I can definitely picture you in the role of the prince.” You cleared your throat before switching to your best narrator voice.

A long, long time ago there lived a boy and a girl. They were the best of friends when they were children. The boy would often sneak out to meet with her and they would play for hours. But their happiness would not last long.

You see, the girl grew up to be the maid of one of the less-fortunate royal families in the kingdom. She had been forced into that position by her father’s latest wedding. It would also turn out to be his last, for he died a few years later, leaving her in the care of a wicked stepmother.

One the other hand, the boy grew up to be the most charming prince in the land. The women fawned over him and he always had everything his heart could desire.”

“I’m literally none of those things.”

“Fine then.”

The prince was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of himself and never asked for help. He constantly worried his friends over his health but they loved him anyway.

“That’s not any better…”

“Shh, let me continue the story.”

Their difference in class ripped the two friends apart, putting an end to their relationship. While they weren’t allowed to meet again, they promised to never forget about each other. To keep that promise, the made matching bracelets and agreed to never take them off until they could meet again.

“Friendship bracelets? Who does that?”

“They were kids! Would you have preferred rings?”

“Wouldn’t those basically be promise rings?”

“I’m coming up with this on the spot, give me a break!”

That bracelet was what gave the girl the strength to continue living, despite her struggles.

When news of a ball arrived at the estate, her step-sisters were quick to start preparations, eager to have a chance at the prince’s hand in marriage. The girl was simply happy at the prospect of seeing her friend again.

When her family found out she was planning to attend the ball, they locked her in the cellar, not willing to risk any competition. The girl wept and wept, until suddenly a kind seeming lady appeared in front of her.

“Isn’t this just the movie?”

“Give it a second!”

The lady promised she would help her get to the ball if that was what she wished. Despite her suspicions, the girl earnestly declared that all she wanted was to see her friend again. And so the kind woman flicked her wrist and the rags the girl had been wearing were replace by a rich ball gown, paired with a glass slippers. The girl thanked her again and again before heading off in search of her lost friend.

“She doesn’t warn her about the time limit?”

“There’s no curfew here, it’s a stupid conflict anyway.”

You couldn’t contain the excitement and adrenaline that flowed through you as you went up the steps of the grand palace. You hadn’t been here since you were a child, when the king’s father still allowed you to visit, and childhood memories flooded your mind. It was difficult to keep your nerves at a reasonable level as you approached the guards at the front gate. By the time you had arrived at the palace, most of the guests were already inside, so you were completely alone when you handed the invitation, hoping the witch had done her work well.

“Enjoy your evening.” They smiled before urging you to step inside. A sense of awe filled you as you walked through the somewhat familiar halls, remembering all the places you and Tsuzuru would hide from the servants, before his title meant anything to you.

You weren’t sure you remembered the way to the main hall, so you followed the noise, hoping you could make your way there.

When you finally stood outside what seemed to be the entrance, you took a few deep breaths before walking forward, determined to see your friend again. When you stepped though the door you quickly realized that the door wasn’t the room’s main entrance, but the top of the grand staircase. Dread filled you as everyone’s eyes fell on you. If it wasn’t for the railing you thought you have fainted right then and there. You breathed in, allowing you hand to wrap around the bracelet the two of you had made so long ago, letting the warm feelings it carried spread through you.

You bowed once before making your way down the stairs, hoping you wouldn’t trip on your dress and make a fool of yourself before the night even started.

The moment you were off the last step, your eyes fell on your step-mother, eyeing you with absolute envy and disgust. You hoped the mask would be enough to conceal your identity.

You walked around the room for a bit, keeping to the less populated areas, hoping to catch a glimpse of Tsuzuru, disappointed to find that he was nowhere to be found.

“Please let this not be for nothing…”

You were about to make your way to the balcony, but a swarm of guests was suddenly in your path, dancing to the waltz the band had just started playing. You frantically looked around, searching for a way out when two arms wrapped around you, pulling you along with the rest of the dancers.

“I guess you’re my partner?” the face of the man that stood before you made your jaw drop. You had thought of so many things to say, but now that Tsuzuru was standing before you, the words seemed to catch in your throat.

“So, uh, are you having fun?” he was as awkward as you remembered. Something about the familiarity filled you with a sense of calm. I found him.

“I am now.” It was hard to contain the smile quickly spreading around your face.

“Actually I was-“that was when it was time to switch partners. When you felt his hand slip from yours, panic flooded through you. No… I didn’t have the chance to tell him.

As he pulled his hand away, his fingers brushed the bracelet on your wrist, eyes widening as he was whisked away by another partygoer, realization evident in his features. You tried to get closer, but were quickly taken away by another guest. Your eyes landed on Tsuzuru a few times but the hall was too crowded. It was almost suffocating. You took the first chance to slip out on the balcony, eager to get away from the crowds.

You stood at the railing, letting the air cool down your heated face. He had seen you, but you weren’t sure he would care enough to search. Negative thoughts occupied your mind as you gazed at the land beyond. Maybe this was foolish… He probably barely remembers me… He’s a prince after all. He was more important matter to attend to than a peasant he used to spend his free time with. You felt tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, your own loneliness catching up with you.

“Please don’t cry!” You were shocked to find Tsuzuru standing a few feet away from you, his face flushed and his knees bent. He must’ve been running.

“You’re the girl from back then, aren’t you?” he glanced down at your wrist, pulling up his own sleeve to reveal a bracelet identical to yours.

“Y-you kept it.” Your voice cracked, barely audible in the midst of the ongoing celebrations.

“Of course I did! It meant a lot to me.” The words seemed to call to something inside you and so you let the tears fall.

“W-what did I do? Please don’t cry!” he took a step closer, still unsure of what boundaries existed between you.

“I-I can’t help it. I’m just so happy!” you wrapped your arms around him, not caring who saw you. All that mattered in that moment was that the two of you were reunited at last.

“I missed you.” You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was crying too, by the way his heart beat against your, the way his hands shook, still wrapped around you in a tight embrace. Year’s worth of loneliness and regret spilled out of the both of you in a single moment.

You stayed like that for quite some time, allowing the relief to wash over you. When you looked at each other again, you couldn’t help but laugh at your state. You knew the scene must look ridiculous to any outside spectators, but none of them mattered. It felt like you were alone in the world, no barriers between you. Your class didn’t matter. You were just a boy and a girl who had been reunited.

“ The king was skeptical at first, knowing a commoner queen wouldn’t create any new alliances, but he could see the love his son had for the girl. And so they married. It’s said that the pair practically run down the stairs of the palace after their wedding, eager to get to their honeymoon, their laughter echoing through the streets.”

“That’s an ending befitting a prince Muku reads about in manga… I still don’t see where I fit into this… ”

“Fine. As they descended the staircase, the prince fell on his ass, causing even more laughter from the girl. A moment she would never let him forget.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the earnest look on Tsuzuru’s face. He may be clumsy, but he has always been kind.

“It will need a lot modifications, especially considering the fact that none of us can exactly pull off female roles, but it could work.” At some point through the story Tsuzuru seemed to have pulled out a notebook, in which he was now scribbling away.

“Are you seriously taking notes?” he was still focused on the story, not letting the inspiration go to waste.

“Of course I am. You’re brilliant!” he pulled you in for a kiss, taking you completely by surprise.

“You’re the best.” He turned back to his note taking, leaving you with flushed cheeks and a bright smile.

“You too.”

And they lived happily ever after.

#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! tsuzuru #tsuzuru minagi #a3! matchups

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duchessfics · 5 years ago

Text

Midnight Disclosure

(https://friendly-deatheater.tumblr.com/post/152731371953)

(https://alainashuffman.tumblr.com/post/66522632737/sarah-paulson-in-piggy-piggy)

Billie x Fem!Reader x Audrey

Requested by Anon: hi! i was wondering if you could you write some fluff for billie x reader x audrey? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i’ve gotta a lot of tough stuff going on and on top of that the world is going crazy, so my mental health isn’t doing very well. maybe r feels like a burden and doesn’t really talk about her mental health or problems because she doesn’t want to bother anyone so she avoids billie and audrey. you are one of my absolute favorite blogs!! take as long as ya need writing this!! ☺️💕

Warning(s): Mentions of anxiety and depression, description of a panic attack, Mentions of Covid-19

Summary: On the eve of current world events, the reader is overwhelmed but doesn’t want to bother her girlfriends with personal struggles. However the truth eventually emerges and they offer support in a way that she hasn’t experienced.

Word Count: 4347

A/n: Tbh, I’m a little nervous to publish this just because I know Covid-19 is everywhere at the moment and it’s frightening. But I thought this could help with those of us who may feel overwhelmed or are struggling to fight inner demons. I am fortunate enough that even though I’m currently laid off from work I am in a relatively stable environment. And my heart goes out to everyone who is struggling right now.

With the time I have now I’m trying to write more and publish some content where if nothing else you can get an escape for a couple minutes. I’ll also be reposting others’ works too. If you are struggling know that I care about you and am willing to listen even if you just want to be anonymous. Wherever you are in the world I’m sending positive thoughts/vibes/prayers your way. 💖

“Y/n, darling!” Billie calls out from the kitchen.

In response you get up from your spot on the couch and walk over to where she is. When you enter the luxurious kitchen, the medium gives you her million dollar smile and curls her finger in a beckoning motion, showing off her fresh set of acrylic nails—cherry red of course.

You smile back, cheeks warming as you come within close proximity. Then she leans in and pecks your lips before asking you, “Were you busy, sweetheart?” You shake your head and ask, “Why?” Billie takes a step back and picks up a slip of paper off of the countertop while replying, “I wanted to ask if you could run out and buy a couple things we need?”

You take the list from her and scan over the items before returning your gaze to her chocolate brown eyes and asking, “Is Audrey around to come with me?” The blonde gives you a sympathetic smile and lifts one of her hands to cup your face before she answers, “She’s rehearsing her lines for the next couple days of work. And I have a conference call with a couple of producers in ten minutes.”

You look down and nod in understanding, but feel bummed that you’ll be going alone. However Billie uses her hand to guide you to look at her before soothing, “When you get home, Audrey and I will give you something special. Ok?”

The way she smirks at you makes your ears burn and a small giggle slips out of you before you reply, “Ok.” Her hand falls away from you and she gives you another brief kiss, letting her plump lips press against yours a little longer than before. Then Billie says with a wink, “I’ll see you later, babygirl.”

You tell her goodbye and gather your purse and keys before walking out to the multiple car garage. Then you climb into Billie’s “old” sports car. In reality, the car isn’t that old, but she bought a new one and has basically given you this one. You climb in, turning the car on with a low growl and speed off to one of the local grocery stores…

You assumed this would be an easy in and out task, however as you pull into the parking lot it is jammed packed and you struggle to find an available parking spot.

Maybe...there’s a really good sale? But you have never seen the supermarket this busy.

Finally you find a space to pull into and step out of the car, list in hand. While walking towards the entrance, people pass by and have their shopping carts filled to the brim with cleaning items, toilet paper, canned goods, and water. Beyond the stuffed shopping carts, you also notice that each person’s facial expression is tainted with worry.

In the midst of looking around, you nearly get run over by someone pushing their cart towards you. Luckily you back up out of the way with a gasp as they say on the phone, “They’re running out of everything. I’ve never seen so many empty shelves. You better come here soon or it will all be gone.”

Without you consciously realizing it, your heart rate has increased and you take shallow breaths. But you look to the ground, trying not to notice the numerous other people around you.

You can do this. You only need three things: eggs, milk, and a bottle of Audrey’s favorite brand of fruit juice. No big deal.

But when you enter the bustling building, a small whimper escapes your throat when you see the massive line of people checking out. Each cart is packed with items and the employees rush around trying to appease the masses.

You don’t realize you’re frozen in place until someone brushes past you, letting out an annoyed huff.

Maybe you should get more? You could call Billie—except she’s in a conference call. Should you call Audrey? She’s working too. You can just grab a couple extra things. Deep breaths. You can do this.

You grab a shopping cart and wipe the handle with a sanitizing wipe before beginning to navigate through the packed aisles to pick up the items…

By the time you return to the car, your breath is stuck in your throat and your eyes smart with tears. You manage to unload the grocery bags of items into the car’s trunk before you get into the car and break down into tears.

Yes you bought the three items. But in your panicked state you also filled your cart like everyone else. And you weren’t fast enough to even get any toilet paper or sanitizer. Why do you always fail when it’s most important to perform well?

Your hands shake in fear and you know you just spent much more than you intended, but you’re so scared. Everyone is rushing around and things are flying off of the shelves so you panicked. As you cry and gasp for air, the thought crosses your mind to call your girlfriends.

But they’ve never seen you like this. And you don’t want to bring them down. They’re so busy right now. You don’t want to burden them with your irrational thoughts. So you do your best to pull yourself together on the drive home.

When you pull into the garage and turn the car off, you make yourself take a couple deep breaths, collecting your emotions enough to get past them. For now you only pick up the three items you were sent out for and leave the rest to bring in when they’re gone. You were out for at least an hour, but hopefully they won’t notice.

You walk in to see Audrey pacing the length of the kitchen while listening to someone on her phone. She huffs and crosses her one arm over her chest, not giving you more than a stiff smile and honestly, you’re grateful.

You slip off your shoes while she scoffs before arguing, “I don’t see why we are considering not filming at this point. I have been thoroughly rehearsing this role and have plenty of auditions and other projects after this.”

Meanwhile you hear the news playing in the background from the living room.

As she keeps pacing, you quickly put the items in the fridge, listening to her continue, “We’re already behind on production. If we don’t keep going now this will be a complete loss for everyone involved. Yes, I’m sure that I would take that risk to finish filming.” You silently leave the room and peek your head into the living room where Billie stands with her back to you smoking a cigarette while watching the news.

Before you can get any more anxious, you clear your throat and softly murmur, “I-I got everything on the list. I’m just going to lie down and rest for a bit.” She lets out a puff of smoke before partially turning towards you, but her eyes remain on the TV as she mindlessly replies, “Alright, thank you, sweetheart.” By the time you finish mumbling, “You’re welcome.” she’s back to watching the news. So you back into the hallway, your shoulders sagging as you hear Audrey’s frustrated words and the news.

Once you make it to the bedroom, you shut the door behind you and make a beeline for the bed. Then you flop back on it, letting out a sigh.

However, you shoot back up and mutter, “Shit.”

How could you be so stupid?

You rush over to the bathroom and turn on the sink tap, wetting your hands before scrubbing them with soap. After humming happy birthday to yourself two times you rinse your hands and dry them off, just finishing when your phone rings.

As you walk back to the bedroom, you pull your phone out of your pocket to see it’s your sister. So you press the answer button, sitting on the edge of the bed as you say, “Hello?”

She greets you before asking, “Have you been watching the news? They’re saying the coronavirus is spreading especially quick in LA.” You let out a sigh, trying not to panic again as you answer, “Yeah. Things are pretty chaotic, but I just went grocery shopping so we should be good.”

In response she warns, “Just be extra careful. This whole thing is getting worse and worse. Try not to go out.” You assure her you won’t and tell her you love her before saying goodbye. Then you fall back against the bed and snuggle under the covers.

Maybe a nap will help you.

But just as you get into the foggy daze of sleep, your phone dings. So with a groan of annoyance you pull out your phone to see your mom texted you,

Did your sister call?

You quickly reply, Yeah. Then you toss your phone out of arm’s reach before burrowing back under the covers.

However, your phone dings again, interrupting your quiet time. Maybe if you ignore her you can just text later. But after hearing 5 more dings, you toss the covers back with a groan and pick up your phone. That’s when you see your mom has texted you five times.

She’s really concerned about you in LA.

I don’t know if you’ve been watching the news, but this is all they’ve been talking about. Everyone’s saying they’ve never seen a global pandemic like this.

And LA is one of the hot spots. Did you go out and get essentials? Think through what you’ll need for the next couple weeks and go fast. It may all be gone soon and who knows how long it will be sold out.

Also try to do some things even when self-isolating. We all know how you get in situations like this.

Are you reading any of this?

Your eyes well up at that last text. Maybe you are just a burden to the people around you.

Before she decides to call, you sniff and swipe away the tears that threaten to fall before texting back,

Yeah. I got stuff today.

As soon as you send it, the message says read and three dots show up on the screen. Your stomach clenches with nerves as they continue to bounce. You are positive that she’s going to send you a long message and sure enough a wall of text appears:

Don’t let yourself sleep these days away. Spend time cleaning the house. Exercise. Read that book I sent you. Don’t spend all day on your phone. That’s a complete waste of time. Don’t stay up late at night. Eat healthy, keep a regular schedule. Do some knitting. Spend time cooking. Go outside. This is not a time to stay in your pajamas and watch TV all day. Don’t fall into bad habits because of a lack of self awareness and self discipline. If you do this time will be incredibly disappointing and wasted. These are just a couple small things. I love you and only want what’s best for you.

By now you feel that earlier heaviness resettling on your chest and the pressure of her words just feel like too much right now. So you turn your phone off and set it aside before sliding under the covers and succumbing to the darkness…

At some point you must fall asleep, because you’re awakened by a soft, British voice saying, “Y/n, darling. Are you awake?” You shift under the blankets and they get slowly drawn back to reveal Audrey smiling down at you as she comments, “I don’t know how you fall asleep with all of those covers pulled over you. You’re like a little mole.”

Your eyes squint as they adjust to the light and you shrug your shoulders, still feeling quite drowsy. But her face gets serious and her eyes narrow before she asks, “Is something wrong? You look upset.”

Your heart clenches as you realize how your eyes probably look puffy and irritated. Luckily, you come up with a quick excuse, saying, “It’s just my allergies. They flared up for some reason.”

Her disposition goes back to normal and she nods in understanding, making you inwardly let out a sigh of relief. Then she says, “Well, I came in here to tell you that dinner is almost ready.” So you assure her you’ll be out in a few minutes and freshen up before joining your girlfriends at the dinner table.

As the three of you eat, Billie says, “I was talking to my producers and it looks like we’ll have to delay filming after this trip.” You feel guilty for being relieved, but can’t contain the small smile that forms on your face when the medium looks at you. She smirks back and purrs, “I wonder whatever I will do with all of the free time after that?” Your cheeks heat up at her insinuation and she gives you a wink, leading you to look down to hide your grin.

However, the moment is broken by Audrey stating, “Well I still plan to travel and film. This whole thing is ridiculous.”

Your smile fades at her words and Billie looks to the actress before teasing, “Awe come on, Audrey. Don’t you want to spend time with y/n and I?” But Audrey scoffs and sternly replies, “I have worked my ass off for this role. So unless everything shuts down, I will be traveling to finish filming.”

Your eyes widen at her determination, but you keep quiet, looking down to your food. On the other hand, Billie doesn’t seem fazed, assuring her, “I’m sure it will all be fine, darling.” before she picks up her glass and finishes off her wine.

You try to finish your plate of food, but the anxiety you feel makes your stomach unsettled. All of this turmoil makes you feel like your anxious thoughts are eating you from the inside out. But you don’t say anything. Why trouble them when they have enough on their plate?

The rest of the evening goes by in a blur of watching TV and even though you sit next to your girlfriends, your mind is miles away stuck in a loop of anxiety about your girlfriends, your family, your friends, and even the world. These fears continue to run through your head and get bigger to the point that even though you lie in bed you can’t fall asleep.

The faint sound of Billie and Audrey’s even breaths is soothing and you’re happy to see them both fast asleep with peaceful expressions. Normally you don’t catch them sleeping, but whenever you do they both always look so beautiful.

Just being able to watch both women makes your heart feel like it’s going to burst. You love them so much.

The way Billie flirts and compliments you all of the time especially when you’re down on yourself. Or how she showers you with gifts and will always hold you close.

And Audrey. Sweet Audrey is always there to cheer you up and notices anytime you don’t seem to be doing well. She even did today. And if you ever question how essential you are to this relationship; she’ll immediately share how essential you are to them. If something happened to either of them in all of this—

That’s when you come back to reality and feel the tears streaming down your cheeks. Before you can get loud enough to wake them you slip out of bed and leave the bedroom. The first place you walk to is the kitchen where you get a glass of water, sniffling through your tears.

Then you step over to the living room and take a seat on the couch, quickly finishing off the water before setting down the glass. While you feel anxious enough to stay awake, your body is also worn down from the panicked state you have been in all day. So you play a game on your phone. The minimal strategy is enough to distract you and as you begin to feel your stress and anxiety fading you hear from behind you, “What are you doing out here little mouse?”

Even though you recognize Billie’s voice, you still gasp and whip your head around to see her standing in the doorway with slightly mussed hair. But she still looks breathtaking.

You look down and shake your head while muttering, “Nothing.”

That makes her brows furrow and she comes closer as she replies, “It doesn’t seem like nothing, babygirl.” Then walks around the back of the couch to sit beside you. At first you turn to look away, but Billie softly says, “Hey,” then she brings her hands up to cup your face before guiding you to look directly at her. However, her brows are slightly furrowed when she asks, “Have you been crying?”

While she keeps your head from turning away, you can’t keep eye contact as you reply, “I-It’s stupid. I’m just being dumb.” The medium gently shushes you, skimming the pads of her thumbs along your cheek while murmuring, “Whatever is bothering you isn’t stupid, y/n. And you aren’t dumb. Please tell me what’s bothering you, darling. You can tell me anything.”

While your mind scolds you for being weak right now and screams that she doesn’t really care, your exterior cracks and, after swallowing enough to feel like you can speak, you barely whisper, “I’m scared.”

Billie scoots closer, still keeping your face cradled in her smooth hands as she asks in a voice still husky with sleepiness, “Oh, honey. Did Audrey or I do something to upset you?”

Right away you shake your head and reply, “No, never. It’s just…when I went to the grocery store today it was packed with people rushing around and grabbing things.”

Then you take a deep breath before shakily continuing, “All anyone could talk about was the coronavirus. A-And I saw store employees being yelled at by multiple people. And when I was in the cleaning section there was this elderly woman looking for toilet paper—”

Your voice catches and you get teary-eyed as you whimper, “A-And the shelf was completely empty. P-People were pushing and shoving and she was just trying to pass. She looked so defeated and it—it broke my heart. That’s someone’s grandma and if someone did that to my grandma I would be so upset.”

You begin to shed tears as you continue, “Then when I got home, my sister and mother both contacted me about the coronavirus saying what I should do. Even though they were trying to be helpful I-I got overwhelmed. And just watching the news while knowing you and Audrey are traveling—”

You let out a choked sob before rasping, “I’m just so scared, Billie.”

While you can’t see her face due to your blurred tears, the medium brings her hands away from your face to gather you close to her while murmuring, “Oh, sweetheart.” In response to her warm hug, you wrap your arms around her and cry into her shoulder. Then you say between gasps, “I-I told you I’m being dumb.”

Billie strokes one hand up and down your back in a slow motion, softly shushing you while soothing, “You’re not being dumb, y/n. These are scary times. And I’m sorry we never asked about the grocery store or how you were feeling.”

After a while, you feel yourself begin to settle and merely let out soft hiccups whilst nuzzling into the bend of her neck. Her smooth, soft hair gently caresses your forehead and cheeks and she keeps quiet besides softly shushing you, holding you close to her.

You feel spent as you mumble, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for all of that to come out.”

Billie guides you to look at her and wipes away the stray tears on your sensitive, puffy cheeks as she murmurs, “You have no reason to be sorry, y/n. I sometimes forget what a kind, tender heart you have. You care about others around you so much it’s no wonder everything feels overwhelming right now. But that’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.”

Normally people would call you a “worry wart” or just tell you to stop being anxious, but you’ve never been told that it’s due to caring about others. You do care. And being anxious doesn’t have to be bad or make you a bad person. It just took someone rephrasing what you have been feeling in a way your own brain wouldn’t allow.

You’re not the problem.

You give Billie a wobbly smile and whisper, “Thank you, Billie.” She smiles back and leans towards you, running her nose against yours as she replies, “You’re welcome, babygirl.”

You keep quiet for a moment, feeling better. However, you straighten up and while you wish this wasn’t nagging at you, you need to know. So, you ask, “Will Audrey really still travel? Or you? It seems so dangerous to travel at the moment and I don’t really want to be left alone—”

Your girlfriend silences your worries with a soft kiss before soothing, “It’s ok, y/n. All of my travel ended up getting postponed. So, I’ll be home with you the whole time.”

That confirmation leads you to let out a breath of relief and you nod. Then Billie loosens her hold on you and suggests, “You should tell Audrey how you feel.”

Her idea makes you stiffen up and you look down to the lacy hem of Billie’s baby doll nightgown as you reply, “I don’t know…she talked about working so hard for this role and I don’t want to be the selfish girlfriend and take that away from her.”

The medium chuckles, making you look to her face and she says with a smile,

“Now y/n, you know how dramatic Audrey can be at times. I know without a doubt if you told her how you feel she would reconsider. And, if nothing else, she wants to hear from you, honey.”

She has a point. You bite your lip, pondering her words for a moment before slowly relenting, “I guess I could say something to her…”

Billie’s grin grows and she gives your cheek a small pinch before assuring, “I know you can do it. And I’ll be with you the whole time.” So, you return to your bedroom, holding Billie’s hand the whole time, and when you step into the darkened room, you see Audrey nestled under the covers breathing deeply.

Billie leads you over to the side of the bed the actress is closest to. Then, with one encouraging nod, she releases your hand and you slowly climb up onto the bed. Once you’re on, you place a hand on the her shoulder, gently nudging her while whispering, “Audrey?”

She shifts in her sleep and turns to face you, opening her bleary eyes while she drowsily slurs, “Yes, darling?”

As soon as she shows any semblance of being awake you wrap your arms around her middle and pull her close to you, making her squeak in shock as you begin to plead,

“Please don’t leave LA, Audrey! Please! I know you worked hard to get this role, but I don’t want you to get sick or be separated from me and Billie. Just please stay home. I know I’m being selfish, but I love you both so much and don’t want anything to happen to you. I’ll do anything you want to get you to stay home. Anything—”

While her senses are still fogged over from sleep, she lets out a low chuckle, hugging you back before she croakily soothes, “Hey, hey it’s ok, sweetheart.” making you stop your pleas.

Then she pulls back to see your face when she asks, “You love us?” That’s when you register that you said those words.

While you haven’t said those words out loud before, you don’t regret saying them.

You nod, your cheeks warming as you look to her and shyly answer, “Yes. I-I love you, Audrey.” Then you look to Billie who still stands beside you both and say, “I love you too, Billie.”

Both women smile and Billie murmurs, “We love you too, y/n.” Then Audrey presses a kiss to the corner of your lips before huskily purring, “We both love you so much, darling girl.” You sheepishly smile and turn to face her again, sharing a brief kiss on the lips.

Then she looks to you and apologizes, “I didn’t mean to frighten you earlier. While we’ll be tying up a couple loose ends the next couple days, it looks like any further production has been delayed. So I’ll be here. Ok?” While you feel bad, knowing how much Audrey loves acting, you can’t help but feel relieved. You nod and reply, “Ok.”

Billie starts to join you both on the bed, so you shift to let her have room. However, she takes your wrist and teases, “And just where do you think you’re going, babygirl?”

You look to her smoldering gaze and slowly answer, “My side?” The medium chuckles and murmurs, “Oh no, that just won’t do. You can stay in the middle so both of us can love on you.” Her sultry tone makes you blush, and you nod at her instructions, staying put while both women move to keep you in between them.

Once you’re settled, Audrey spoons you from behind and Billie snuggles into your front. For the first time today, you feel the weight completely lift off of your chest and within minutes your eyes begin to get droopy.

Billie tucks your hair out of the way while soothing, “If you start to feel anxious again, you can always come to either of us.” Then Audrey kisses just behind your ear and murmurs, “Whatever happens we’ll get through this together, love.” You relax into their arms and nod, sleepily saying, “Thank you.” And even though you still have feelings of being worried and depressed, you begin to sense a pinprick of hope in the midst of the tumultuous unknown.

Tagged @marilynroselleprentiss @saviorinsilk @chokemepaulson @versonstar @find-me-a-constellation @cordwliagoode @psychobitchtess @midnight-lestrange @mysweetdelia @venablesbitch @peachesandlesbians

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in later works!

Please remember: you matter, you’re important, and you add beauty to the world. Sending love. 💖

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saladejin · 5 years ago

Text

Solace (M) | 02

4-part Jimin x Reader | fantasy au, school au, magic user!Jimin | Fluff, angst (basically unresolved), smut with some plot

Summary: Why not spice up your high school life with a teleporting boy of your very own? You find yourself not having a choice in the matter. While he figures out how to fix his mistakes, strap yourself in for an adventure to remember…

Warnings: First-time porn writing (so fairly vanilla). Penetrative sex, light dirty talk, light fingering, profanity.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 6.8k

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You felt Jimin’s presence tingling next to you on the bus ride home. Nobody questioned why he was there, and nobody questioned his relationship with you. Everyone was absolutely thrilled to meet your ‘family friend’, and you watched in astonishment as the charismatic boy wormed his way into their hearts. Even despite the language barrier.

You were silent, and you hoped he could feel your looming interrogation.

When you hopped off the bus with Jimin trailing behind, you waited for the long vehicle to turn the next corner before snapping your head to the side and marching towards the startled boy furiously. He backed up until he was pressed against the scratchy bark of the nearest tree trunk.

“Okay, so I thought you were just lost and scared, but what have you done now?” You stared at him intensely, wishing you knew a plethora of violent curses to sprinkle into your sentence.

“Can we get home? I promise I’ll talk!” He urged, but eventually had to repeat himself because he had spoken too quickly for you to understand. He was cornered against the tree, but he still stood a head and a half higher than you. He could have overpowered you easily, and from what you had seen there was some kind of weird magical power at play, but oddly enough you still weren’t scared. Maybe it was because you usually knew when someone could be trusted.

“Okay,” You sighed, stepping back so he could relax his posture.

“I don’t know why I’m doing this, but fine. I want to help.”

He smiled at you again, but you squeezed your eyes shut and started walking in the other direction briskly.

“Stop that, Jesus Christ.”

It was a quick walk that took minutes, but it felt like stretching hours to you. The front door to your house creaked way too loudly, and you wondered if you should just grab Jimin’s hand and sprint down to your room or actually consult your parents first. You glanced behind you only to be greeted with the warm wide-eyed innocence and confusion in the strange boy’s gaze.

Curse you and your eyes.

You sighed and stepped into the house full of foreboding. Jimin’s gentle footsteps sounded just after, and you spluttered with exasperation when he started to take his shoes off in the entryway.

“Forget that! We need to talk!”

You spoke quietly since you were still not sure if your parents should know, but that notion was soon thrown out the window when your mother poked her head around the corner of the separating wall.

“(Y/n), Jimin, you’re home! I suspect you’ll just go down to your room as per usual?”

You gawked at her as she smiled nonchalantly, but tore your eyes away when a hesitant hand clasped around your wrist and pulled you towards the hallway.

“Of course, bye!” Jimin replied casually. You watched as your mother shrugged and continued to work on whatever files she needed to as a lawyer. You could not believe how easily she was taking this, but at the same time you remembered how your friend had shown the exact same sense of familiarity with this boy.

“You’re asking for trouble, I can’t believe the minds of all the people I love have been messed with!” You muttered to yourself, noticing Jimin’s hesitance and taking over in leading the way to your bedroom with a huff of annoyance.

You told him to wait while you tidied up your room, because God knew how disgustingly messy it could get. You rested your head against your cupboard door with an audible ‘thump’, questioning if all of this was a dream and that you were just completely imagining this guy into your life. Were you really this lonely?

“Can I come in?” He asked, and you heard a few quiet knocks before the door was nudged open anyway. You rolled your eyes.

Was there any point in asking if you’re just gonna walk in?

He entered your room and looked around with a lazy smile gracing his features. You couldn’t help but admire how well the white school button-up, tie and black pants looked on him. Then again, where he had even gotten them from was still in question…

“I want to understand what you say, so let me have a translating app at first,” You grumbled, whipping out your phone and turning on a translator. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it was better than nothing at all. You learned languages faster by listening and speaking, so even though your Korean was a little rusty now, it wouldn’t be long before you could just talk with him normally. It would probably be only a few hours, in fact.

“Okay, so I can’t tell you absolutely everything. I know it all seems bizarre right now,” He began and took a seat heavily on the edge of your queen sized bed.

“Nah, no way,” You scoffed with sarcasm dripping heavily from your lips.

“I know, I know,” He chuckled. You swallowed thickly and willed yourself to stop talking so he could continue. Why did his voice have to be so damn melodic?

“I’m from Korea, obviously, but I come from a group of people who have…certain powers.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, having figured something along those lines. He eyed you carefully, but had long established that you were far from a threat.

“I-I seriously fucked up. Hyung’s the one that knows all about that teleporting stuff, and I shouldn’t have mucked around with it. I’m always causing trouble even thought I don’t mean to.” He ran his hands down his face, clearly frustrated and disappointed with himself. Your heart clenched at the sight and you couldn’t help moving to sit next to him as a comfort.

“I know he’ll be mad, and usually I’m honest but I want to see if I can just fix everything before he notices. It’ll be better for everyone this way.”

You focused your eyes on the carpet below your feet in concentration. You kind of got the gist, but trying to wrap your head around believing in powers and teleporting was proving difficult. You knew you had to keep an open mind with this guy.

“Normally I wouldn’t believe this sort of thing, but after seeing everything that went down today I’m questioning my very sanity,” You gnawed on your bottom lip, still concentrating on the ground.

“Don’t,” He chuckled, “I’m the one whose sanity you should be questioning. I used nearly all my power trying to make a space for myself in your life.”

You raised your eyebrows and sat back a little, memory jogged from his words and suspicion flooding back into your mind as you thought about what he had done.

“Yeah…why’s that? Couldn’t you use that power to get back? Why did you mess everyone’s memories up like that?”

His brows furrowed as you spoke, and you instantly knew he had something against referring to it as ‘messing up’, but you didn’t really care at this point. Your friends and family had been changed somehow, and you needed to know why.

“You see, I’m not entirely sure on how to return just yet. You treated me with kindness, so I saw the opportunity and took it. I know it seems ugly and selfish of me, but if I didn’t think I could trust you then I would’ve found somewhere else to base.”

Your voice died in your throat. Hearing that he trusted you made all of your doubts crumble away like dust, and you looked at him in awe for a few seconds while he studied the ground just like you had before.

“I’m guessing you used the magic to change clothes too?”

He pursed his lips and threw you a deadpanned expression before his lips quirked up into an amused smirk.

“It’s not ‘magic’, that sounds childish and lame. They’re powers, and yes I used them to fit in as much as I could.”

“Wow, okay you used your ‘powers’,” You curled your fingers in the air to tease him a little before continuing and getting to your feet to pace the room.

“There’s more people like you? I can’t believe this kind of thing has actually existed this whole time. What powers are there? What else can you do?”

You hurled questions at him but his amused smile only grew wider and wider. Your voice wilted away as you glared at him, prompting him to say what was on his mind. He leant back to rest on his elbows against your bed, and you had to ignore how tempting he looked. Maybe he was still using some of those blasted powers on your heart.

“As I said before, I can’t tell you about all that. I think I’ve explained what was necessary for the situation.”

“Ass,” You grumbled in English, but he must have understood since he raised his eyebrows and let out a laugh that told you he was pleasantly surprised.

“Sorry but I have to live with you now. You can brag to all your friends about the charming family friend staying with you.”

You mirrored his shit-eating grin and laughed back.

“And how long will you continue to be a dirty scab?”

He puffed out his cheeks, but the humour dancing in his twinkling chocolate eyes faltered slightly. Your spirits sunk a little when his cheerfulness retreated.

“Whenever I figure out how to get home.”

“Can I help?” You sighed, letting him know you would try your best to support him. He ran one hand through his hair as he threw you that same grateful look from the classroom.

“You’re already helping me without realising, but yeah I’ll let you know if there’s anything else. Thank you (Y/n).”

“It’s okay,” You smiled tightly, “How do you regenerate your magic? Shit…powers?”

While you were prepared to hear some weird concoction of blasphemy, you weren’t prepared for the confident boy to fall apart in front of you. He puffed out his cheeks and averted his eyes suddenly. You raised one brow and felt confusion sweeping you off your feet once more, but at this point you were a little used to it.

“Um, I-I can’t tell you that. Yeah, can’t tell you,” He mumbled after clearing his throat, nodding his head as if he was reassuring himself more than anyone. You narrowed your eyes at his flustered features, as it seemed like he’d woefully tried to cover it up, but the tips of his ears were still reddening with every passing second.

“It’s cute and all that you’re flustered, but I wasn’t born yesterday. It’s probably something sexually natured, right?” You crossed your arms and cocked one hip, waiting for him to just come out with it already.

You hated when people thought you were too innocent to think past the mental age of twelve, because your parents had tried to bring you up that way. You had been sheltered, and the fact that your mother had even allowed Jimin to come down to your bedroom with you had been a clear enough indication of his ‘powers’.

“Alright, I guess it is ideal that I’m stuck with someone who has common-sense,” He grunted lowly, still continuing to divert his attention until he finally raised his eyes to meet yours.

“The way we naturally regenerate is usually over periods of time and rest, but the quickest and easiest way is to have sex.”

You fully expected it, but hearing it from him made your heart thump against your rib-cage dangerously.

“It…it taps into your partner’s locked power-store due to the connection being made. It’s the way our group chooses to regain energy because it’s more efficient,” He explained softly while clasping and unclasping his hands together in front of him.

“So you all just fuck each other? I thought that would’ve used more energy than gained,” You ignored the blush dusting your cheeks to ask whatever came to mind first. You wouldn’t let yourself be juvenile because you were genuinely curious. Let’s face it, you were today years old when you found out that powers even existed in the first place.

“We don’t fuck each-”

“Wait! Does that mean everyone has a power-store, or powers, and they just haven’t unlocked them yet?” You gasped, mulling over his words and immediately zoning in on the one part that stood out.

“I can’t tell you anything! Crap…” He widened his eyes and pressed his lips together, obviously already having given away too much. You felt bad, because you didn’t want him to feel as though you were manipulating him for information.

Even though he should be better at keeping it to himself anyway.

“Look, I’m not gonna jump on the internet and blurt everything to the world, okay? You already said you trusted me, so trust me.”

He looked up through his parted fingers while he had his head buried into his hands. He looked pretty helpless again, but you hated it so much when he looked like that. He needed your help, and you were ready to give it to him.

“Enough questions. It’s late, and I guess you have to come to school with me in the morning right?”

He nodded, exhaling deeply and getting to his feet with a regained composure. His hair was still so fluffy and perfect even after all that messing around with his hands, you couldn’t believe it, but he did have powers so it shouldn’t have been that surprising.

“If I go out into public with you, maybe I can find some clues somewhere. Plus it will seem dodgy to your parents if I just loiter here.”

“I can lend you some of my dad’s clothes and you can sleep on the couch in the living room,” You beckoned for him to follow you before heading down to your parent’s bedroom. Luckily your father worked late so borrowing some of his casual clothes wouldn’t be much of a hassle.

“The lounge is just out there, and there are blankets on the far one too,” You smiled, feeling bad that you couldn’t just get out a mattress from somewhere. Your household rarely had guests since your extended family lived way too far to make regular visits.

“Thanks (Y/n), I owe you one,” Jimin smirked before heading into the living room.

You made your way back to your bedroom giddily. Scenarios flipped through your mind about your school life and how it would now change with Jimin threaded tightly into it. Would he have other friends or would he stick with you? You knew you had to lead it along with as little suspicion as you could.

A sigh left your lungs as Jimin’s perfect face and smile moved to front of your mind. He was so warm and kind, and you really didn’t know how long you could be around him before you lost control of your feelings. Perhaps you already were falling into the deep dark pit, but it had only been a day!

A familiar voice caused you to stop dead in your tracks, and you roughly tugged a pyjama shirt over your head in a sudden flush of apprehension. It was your mother, and by the sounds of it she was in one of her happy-go-lucky moods where she’d opened the wine and let loose for the night. She wasn’t an alcoholic, but both of your parents enjoyed their wine too much sometimes.

“Oh no dear! You sleep in with (Y/n), how could you forget? Your aunt would have a fit if she found out I let you sleep on the couch, silly boy.”

The dread settled deep in your stomach as staggered footsteps sounded from the hallway, and suddenly a shirtless Jimin appeared while being pushed forwards by your mother. You exchanged wide-eyed glances with the boy as he was left to stand in front of you.

“(Y/n), how could you let him believe that? He went to sleep on the couch,” Your mother laughed, and you let out a fake one to try and make things seem normal.

“Um, maybe he wanted to tonight?” You suggested frantically, but your mother was already laughing and making her way back down to her computer. You gulped and ran one hand down your face in slight vexation.

“Yeah, so maybe I forgot a few things when altering their memories? And the universe tried to fill in the blanks by itself?” Jimin chuckled awkwardly and clutched his shirt to his chest. You took a deep breath and whipped your head to the side so you didn’t have to look at him in all his half-naked glory for too long.

“Get your ass back in here before she stirs more trouble,” You demanded through gritted teeth, but your anger almost melted away when you saw his guilty expression. He instantly rushed into your room without question and you rolled your eyes.

“If I were you I’d put that shirt back on too.”

“It’s a hot night though, why?” He raised an inquisitive brow while climbing into your bed and throwing the shirt onto the floor despite your request.

“It’s distracting…”

His face remained blank with shock before he suddenly smirked.

“Oh, am I charming you already?”

“Shut up Harry Potter, the only one you’re charming is my mum apparently.”

You growled and hesitantly got into your own side of the bed. His presence was too loud, and there was probably no way you were going to sleep soundly with him that close to you.

He groaned, and you sniggered at the thought of him being embarrassed with himself. “Don’t make it weird.”

You faced the opposite wall with your back to him because you were too uncertain of how your heart would react if you were able to see him lying next to you. It was too hot to really sleep with too many clothes on, but you opted to keep on a shirt anyway just because your dignity called for it.

“We’ll fix this sleeping problem tomorrow,” You finally said, feeling the drowsiness tug at the edges of your vision. Jimin only hummed gruffly in response, a sound that was much deeper and raspier than expected. You wondered why everything he did was so mesmerising.

“In all honesty, do you use your powers to make yourself like that?” You asked quietly after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Your ceiling fan whirred gently, and you moved to rest on your back so you could look up at the stirring blades through the darkness.

“Like what?” Jimin asked with a slight crackle to his voice. It sent a sharp shiver down your spine, but you willed it away as you tried to focus on speaking.

“Like, charming. You said it yourself and I’m not denying anything, so I want to know if it’s real or if the powers do that.”

It was almost as if you could hear his bashful smile, like you could just sense it being there.

“I’m flattered, but no I don’t think it’s the powers. Unless it happens because we’re born with them ... Oh God, fucking damn it all,” He groaned again and you giggled into the dimness.

“You don’t have to try and hide things, I’m not someone who spreads gossip. Plus, you’re shit at keeping secrets so I’ll find them out eventually, depending on how long you stay.”

“I just won’t talk to you then.”

“As if.”

“…”

You tried to fight the urge to look at him but already knew you were going to fail. You tilted your head to look from the rotating fan to where his head was resting on the other pillow, and felt your heart rate speed up after seeing he was looking at you already.

Shit, I thought he was looking at the roof like I was.

He had a playful smirk flashing as he stayed silent like he said he would, so you crossed your arms underneath your bedcovers defiantly. The shine of his eyes was one of the only things you could make out, but you could already basically picture how cocky he was looking right now. With his perfect black hair that perfectly framed his perfect cheekbones…

“You’re so annoying, couldn’t you have picked someone else to help your sorry ass?” You growled and turned around so you were facing away from him again, struggling to keep a fond smile off your face. He was already growing on you, and it hadn’t even been a full day! Why did it feel like you were developing a silly crush already?

“Poor (Y/n),” He drawled mockingly. Your body went rigid as you felt him moving in the bed. You had to keep the fact that he was still shirtless off your mind if you wanted to calm yourself down.

“You already know I chose you because you were the only one who stood up and helped me out. Yeah, I saw you stand up. I knew you were probably going to be the one helping me the first time I laid eyes on you. Like a saviour,” He continued in a low tone.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets as a slightly muscular arm draped itself around your waist. You felt his head creating another dip in your pillow just behind your own. The arm tightened around you while you struggled to keep breathing normally, but to your surprise he still kept a somewhat respectable distance between you both.

“Sorry, are you okay with this? It’s just that I usually cuddle up to people while sleeping. If it doesn’t happen now it most likely will when I’m unconscious.”

The genuine concern filtering from his voice made you relax. You breathed out and leaned back into his hold, enjoying the warmth and protection it gave all at once. Was this what it was like to be in a relationship? You weren’t in a relationship with Jimin, but you figured that this is what it would feel like to have a boyfriend.

“This is…really nice,” You managed to get out, wondering how to assure him that it was more than okay.

“Hmm? You’ve never done this with anyone? Like, spooned?” Jimin murmured, but it was really close to your ear and you felt the shivers travel down your spine again. You were suddenly nervous that he had noticed too, because now you were closer than ever.

“N-no, but I’ve just discovered that I don’t hate it.”

Jimin let out huff of amusement and you felt it resonate within you. His head was almost nuzzling into the back of your neck, you could feel puffs of warm breath tickling your skin. His arm curled further around your body and he even wormed the other one underneath the pillow where your neck met the comfortable puffiness.

“Or…do you ‘not-hate’ it because it’s me?” He chuckled jokingly, but your eyes cast downwards to watch as his lower hand appeared right before you.

“Can’t say there’s anyone else I’d do this with, to be honest,” You smiled in defeat, loving the feeling of being wrapped up but still feeling a little uncertain on what to do. You could just imagine how this would go down with a boyfriend, him maybe pressing sweet little kisses wherever he could, you holding his hand and lacing your fingers together so you could stay that way even deep in your sleep.

His chest rumbled in amusement again, and you were amazed at how connected you felt to him just by cuddling like this. You felt like you could fit together like a puzzle piece, but even though it was calming you still felt wide awake. You suspected the main reason for this was because the whole concept was so strange to you. You would lose sleep, yet you really didn’t want this feeling of stable security to end.

New flash, it was about to.

“(Y/n), that’s not the greatest idea,” Jimin muttered through a sharp inhalation, and your eyes suddenly popped open when he moved his hips away from you. Confusion came and went as you realised you’d shifted further towards him in a moment of dreamy distraction.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I forgot about that,” You laughed sadly, annoyed that you’d ruined the perfectly platonic moment. His arms uncurled from around you and you shifted around to see him sitting up on the opposite edge of the bed. His back muscles were on full display as he crouched over slightly. You cursed your eyes for getting used to the dark too quickly, but also thanked them when the boy straightened his posture and took a deep, hollow breath.

“It would’ve been fine, but I forgot that I depleted my power today, so I’m a complete dunce,” He lamented, seeming so frustrated with himself.

“Are you okay?” You asked, even though you felt pathetic for asking it.

“The damage is done, I’m alright,” He smiled and sighed before getting back under the covers to face you. He rolled his eyes knowingly and shifted over to you again. This time you two were facing each other, and just like you had suspected, your heart went wild again.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” He reached up to smooth out your creased brows. You hadn’t even realised you’d been frowning until then, but the guilt wouldn’t go away. You watched as his eyes flickered to your slightly parted lips before they tried to avert, but ended up trailing the line of your exposed neck until they stopped at the line of your shirt. His teeth released his bottom lip as he realised what he was doing, but you understood his struggle as you recalled not wanting to look away from him before.

You couldn’t contain yourself, it was too much. You shuffled closer and brought one of your hands upwards to lightly brush against his cheek. His piercing eyes only focused on you as you moved your fingertips along the smooth skin of his neck and collarbone. You had to make a decision, you knew you had to.

“Okay, do you have a condom?” You asked boldly, knowing that you didn’t have anything. Jimin’s mouth fell open in pure shock as he heard the words. You swore you caught the searing heat running alongside that shock as his eyes sharpened and pinned you down again.

“(Y/n), you really don’t-”

“Jimin, I know what you need to get home, and you already know I’m here to help,” You sat yourself upright and leaned closer to him, watching how he trailed your movements with a fiery lust hidden deep within his scorching gaze. You followed the dipping of his Adam’s apple with your eyes.

“And what if I don’t have one?” He dared, eyes lidded and one brow raising in question. The gesture was so effortlessly attractive that you felt yourself burning up from the inside out. You smoothed the palm of your hand against his chest and ran it downwards against the tensing muscles of his abdomen. Your eyes were trained on his darkened ones as his breathing hitched a countless number of times.

“You’ll just have to pull out then.”

He finally snapped.

Suddenly he was towering above you, and you felt excitement pricking at every nerve in your body while he trailed his eyes along your half-exposed torso. You were only wearing the shirt since pants seemed unnecessary, but now you were thanking your past self for the decision.

“No, we should wait until we have one,” Jimin grimaced, obviously battling with his inner desires. You took one moment to ogle at his figure as he sat rigidly above you, but eventually your own needs won you over.

“I’m on the pill, and if you don’t come inside then that’s even less of a risk. Trust me, I know what I’m getting into.”

“Then you’re either really stupid or really brave. But probably stupid,” Jimin smirked, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he left you no time to respond.

He swooped down to mould his body to yours. Your lips were captured by his thicker ones as he hungrily devoured you, and his hand eventually worked its way underneath the hem of your shirt. The feeling of his fingertips against the soft skin of your stomach caused you to gasp, and that allowed him to let his tongue slip into the opening of your lips. Soon the sinful wet sounds filled the room.

“I really appreciate it though,” He breathed against your mouth, hot undignified desire consuming his gaze and tone simultaneously. “God, it might seem weird, but I’ve been wondering what you taste like all day.”

You sighed out a small moan when Jimin knocked your thighs apart with one knee. He lowered his body once more to press into yours, but instead slowly rolled his hips so the delicious hardness of his clothed cock met the damp cloth of your underwear. You whimpered slightly louder, but he swallowed the sound with another salacious kiss.

“Can’t believe you’re so worked up already.”

He panted, leaning away from your lips to darkly stare down at your sorry underwear. He looked up with a few strands of his black hair falling into his eyes, plush lips red and swollen from the ravaging upon your skin. Angling his face upwards to stare down at you with dark lidded irises, he ran one teasing hand along the expanse of your raised thigh. What shocked you more, though, was when he reached down to press a deft finger directly to your clit.

You jolted at the sudden sensitivity and placed one hand over your mouth to stop any noises from escaping. He only smirked in triumph as he watched you fall apart underneath him, but ran his tongue along his bottom lip again as he increased the intensity of the swirling movements. You writhed at the sheer amount of pleasure you were feeling while he worked you up expertly. Continuing to speed up and slow down the circular motions of his fingers against your heat, and before you knew it you were coming all over them.

“Oh, Jimin…fuck,” You groaned, head thrown back as you tried to regain coherent thoughts. You vaguely felt your thighs being pushed further apart again, and could hear his staggered breathing.

“That has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” He grunted while smoothing back his shadowy hair. You felt cold air rush past your lower lips as he removed your underwear swiftly.

“I’m so hard, I don’t think I can wait.”

You lurched forwards instantly, still feeling the afterglow of your orgasm lingering in your mind and limbs.

“Then don’t, have me any way you want me.”

You leaned forwards to tug down the boxers you’d lent him, already seeing the precum leaking from the head of his cock and drenching the inside of the clothing.

I’ll need to wash them well.

When he was finally freed, the sigh that fell from his lips was tragically beautiful. You watched in amazement as he gave himself a few pumps with one hand, the pleasure contorting his features and causing the heated arousal to give you another kick in the gut.

“I need your power, it’s so strong and I can feel it…fuck, I can feel it,” He groaned and pressed you back down into the mattress. You complied easily, already mewling at how badly you wanted to have him. He was so desperate, yet so were you. Needy whimpers trickled from your lips as he worked you open with his skilful fingertips once more.

“Need to…please (Y/n), is this okay?”

“Don’t even ask, dumbass.”

He grunted in acknowledgement and reached down to tug the shirt over your head before catching your lips in another sensually heated open-mouthed kiss. You huffed as his cock entered you in one smooth motion, your soft walls expanding to accommodate his thick girth. He grunted right next to your ear breathily and you shuddered when he trailed his wicked tongue from your earlobe to the sensitive skin of your neck.

“So wet and tight, Jesus.”

You lost yourself to the aching feeling of the stretch, but then he was thrusting into you slowly. He really couldn’t wait, but it wasn’t like you wanted him to anyway. He sped up his movements with unbidden grunts of effort; pleasure building for both of you with every passing second.

Your toes curled and you clawed at his broad shoulders as he pounded into you mercilessly, chasing his high but still hoping for you to reach yours. You felt sweat pooling from various parts of your body, but admired the way Jimin’s muscles gleamed with it as he continuously jerked his hips forward. The rhythm became messy as he drew closer, but you could not care less.

“I’m close, oh shit…Please Jimin, don’t stop,” You begged, the pleasure coursing through you and making your eyes flutter shut. He was repeatedly hitting just the right spot, and you felt yourself clench around him as you spiralled heavily out of control.

“No, if you- while I’m in there I won’t be able to stop myself from coming inside,” He panted, reluctantly pulling out much to your dismay. The pads of his fingers flew to your pulsating clit just as he had before, and luckily you felt the orgasm still coiling deep within. You reached forward to help jerk his throbbing cock until he was a mess beneath your hands.

There was a low rumble of a groan from the boy above you before he finally came and almost collapsed on top of your rapidly rising and falling chest. You reached your peak as well and it left your jaw hanging open in a soundless scream as the euphoric pleasure swept through your every nerve. You vaguely noticed how his forearms shook in a monstrous effort to hold himself upright.

Normally you would move to cuddle up to the guy who had just given you the best fucking of your life, but for some reason you couldn’t fully regain control of your senses. You swam in ecstasy and flittered your eyes open to try and see what was wrong, but everything seemed to be oddly serene.

“I can’t believe I met you today and we already – wow,” Jimin gasped as he gradually came down from his climax and rolled over to rest on his back. You tried to swing out one arm to reach for him, but your limbs just wouldn’t obey your commands.

“Should I be ashamed?” He muttered half to himself, but soon twisted his head around when he was met only with silence.

“Oh, shit sorry,” Jimin clicked his tongue and moved to gather you into his arms carefully. You chuckled softly at his concern, but still wanted to know why you couldn’t use your body for simple functions such as movement. His eyes glittered with appreciation as he held your body close.

“Every time I-”

You slowly met his gaze as he cut himself off to sigh, brushing some hair from your forehead in a sweet gesture.

“That whole time I was actually sapping away at your power store. You had a lot to offer and I couldn’t help myself since I was pretty much starved.”

You admired the expanse of his sculpted body as he spoke, not really caring that he had used you in such a way. You let him know you were okay with a small smile, but felt your eyes drooping as the weariness clutched at you once more. The last thing you heard was a gentle promise that meant so much more to you than it probably should have.

“Don’t worry (Y/n), I’ll always look after you.”

Now that I think about it, he could just take my strength and leave right? He got what he needed. He doesn’t need to stay, and he was probably only going to wait around until you gave him what he wanted anyway.

He only used you, (Y/n).

You awoke with an unknown fear setting every inch of your body alight. Immediate thoughts of how stupid and reckless you had been began eating away at your mind. Wouldn’t this strange ethereal human being abandon you as soon as he had the chance? It would only seem logical from his point of view, but even though you forced yourself to accept it you just couldn’t shake the doubt and regret seeping from your heart.

He’s probably long gone, or maybe he didn’t even exist and I need some serious help.

Before you could let the dread swallow you whole, a strong pair of arms enfolded around your frame and tugged you closer. You felt warm and familiar fingertips tracing patterns into the skin of your lower back, and your head fell against a slowly rising chest which contained a rhythmic heartbeat that somehow managed to melt your doubts away. Almost as if basking in the glow of a cosy brick fireplace during a winter evening.

“You didn’t leave?” You whispered while cringing at the hope tinging your tone. You pulled your head away from his body to look up at his shining chocolatey irises. You would definitely miss seeing them when the time came.

“And how could I do that when I don’t even know how to get back?” Came the slightly confused and hurt scoff. His kissable lips tugged into a frown and you watched as a small crease formed in between his brows.

“You think I’d leave you so soon after last night? I’m not an actual monster.”

You smirked and lowered your head in a sudden bout of guiltiness.

“Believe it or not, it’s only been a day Jimin. If you were smart you’d probably talk me into giving you what you needed before getting the fuck out of this town.”

Jimin chuckled airily as he rolled away from you to start getting dressed for the day.

“You know, there’s such a thing as being smart and civil at the same time.”

You cocked one brow while continuing to grin mischievously, “So you admit you’ll politely convince me to restore your power before respectfully taking your leave?”

Jimin craned his neck around with raised eyebrows, facial expression silently muttering ‘really?’ before he huffed and shook his head in fond amusement.

“If I were you I’d get ready. I don’t know if school times work differently here but my guess is we already woke up later than we should have.”

Your smile faltered as you turned to check your phone, a curse exploding from your mouth as you realised you had to be going in a matter of minutes. You gathered with a jolt that your underwear had been replaced with a new fresh pair, and your shirt had been returned to its rightful place on your body. Maybe you felt a little worse now about making it seem like you didn’t trust him.

“And believe it or not,” Jimin suddenly began by quoting your earlier words, “I don’t make it a normal practice to fuck people I barely know. Do I need to remind you that it was you who came onto me?”

You looked up from your phone only to squeak in surprise at how close he suddenly was. You had to press yourself into the wall behind you to mask your shock. The playful glint in his eye made your breath catch in your throat, but you didn’t bother trying to keep your thoughts to yourself any longer.

“You and your arrogance... If you need more ‘power restoration’ then maybe don’t try when we have literally two minutes.”

He laughed loudly and backed away from where he had caged you into the wall, finally allowing you to throw on your school uniform with an angry mutter. Something eventually clicked in your brain and you whipped your head around to observe Jimin fiddling with his school tie, occasionally grunting in annoyance when the article of clothing wouldn’t comply with what he had in mind.

“Jimin, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure we’ve been speaking in English since…well since last night.”

He opened his mouth to answer but was immediately interrupted by a loud beckoning call from your mother. You violently cursed again as you snatched your hairbrush from your desk and then grasped Jimin’s hand before rushing out of the room. If you were late to school you’d never hear the end of it.

“I’ll explain when we have some free time,” Jimin assured while giving your hand a gentle squeeze. Although it was your hand, it felt as though your heart was receiving the gesture the most because that seemed to be the only thing he was managing to squeeze; and God, it fucking hurt like a bitch.

See this?

You glanced down to where your hand was laced together with his.

This is the hole you dug for yourself.

And from here on out, you were going to be in pretty deep.

#bts au #jimin au #jimin x reader #jimin scenarios #jimin smut #bts scenarios #jimin fanfic #bts smut #jimin angst #jimin fluff #magic park jimin #salade-tb #solace

36 notes · View notes

blackjacketmuses · 6 years ago

Note

13-26, odds for Nagito, evens for Kokichi?

Woo, okay!

13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed?

Nagito is...like I’ve said before, his default state is very anxious and paranoid about the world in general. He’s a nervous person thanks to his luck and the disasters it can cause, and he tends to expect the worst out of most situations, or at least always prepares himself for every thing that could go wrong. That’s...basically every circumstance and every subject, especially when things are going really well. The better things seem, the more anxious he is, because in his experience good cannot come without there being bad first.

Though he...doesn’t tend to express this much, because he thinks that he’d be an imposition if he puts his insignificant burdens on other people. He does tend to rather...calmly talk about all the possible outcomes of situations, and doesn’t seem to outwardly be affected by his worries, even if it’s a constant thing he thinks about.

14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

Kokichi’s...very morally flexible. He lies a lot, and he learned very early that if you want something, you gotta do what you gotta do to get it. You can’t rely on other people to help, so you have to be ready to do just about anything you need to. And for fun? He’ll do what he likes to get a reaction out of people, he’s very willing to pull shit just to get reactions without much scruples. However, if you have earned his trust - a rare and incredible thing - he’s deeply loyal and will defend you with all those questionable morals.

However, he draws a very hard, uncompromising line against physically harming or killing anyone. He refuses to allow that in anyone around him, and he refuses to do it himself. Anyone who has killed or hurt people, especially for fun or without any good reason, he’ll hate on principle, and have a hard time losing that bias.

15. What kind of inner life do they have — rich and imaginative? Calculating and practical? Full of doubts and fears? Does it find any sort of outlet in their lives?

Oof, of course, Nagito’s inner life is very much very fearful and doubting. He’s very nervous on the inside, not to mention full of self-loathing. He’s a mess, very disorganized and scared and angry at himself all the time -- very brilliant and determined, however, and once he has a goal he’ll press on full force towards it. But that’s...usually, he’s just generally a mess, and doesn’t necessarily usually have any kind of outlet to express any of it healthily. So it bleeds out at weird times and makes him come off as very strange and weird.

16. Do they dream? What are those dreams like?

Kokichi does! A lot of his dreams are wacky and strange, very out there-- he figures his interests shape those, like anime and supervillains and all that. But he does also sometimes have nightmares about dying and watching people die, and that just got a hell of a lot worse after the game show.

17. Are they more shaped by nature or nurture — who they are, or what has happened to them? How have these shaped who they’ve become as a person?

Nagito is absolutely shaped by nurture. Tragedy hit his life very young, and started just constantly hammering him with pain and disaster and good things in a cycle that started when he was still in elementary school or younger -- there was no time for him to develop without that in his life.

His cycle of disaster-blessing-disaster-blessing shaped him entirely. It gave him his obsession with hope -- there has to be hope after despair, good after bad, that’s what life has taught him, so he needs to cling to that hope or else be lost -- it gave him his abysmal self-esteem -- it’s all but stated outright everyone he gets close to gets killed by his luck so that’s going to cause problems -- and more directly, his bad luck gave him his brain disease, which also heavily influences his personality.

Without his luck, he would absolutely not be who he is now.

18. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst, most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequences might they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

Kokichi...well, I think he could end up being a pretty interesting person! He’s already proven to be absolutely brilliant, a genius at reading situations and making plans and solving mysteries, capable of making moves three paces in advance of most other people, and with a lack of morals that lets him do a lot more than most people would dare. But at the same time, he’s very strongly against killing and hurting others, and is willing to shoulder a lot of hate and distrust to protect others -- and he’s fiercely loyal to the people he cares about.

If he were to work out his trust issues and open up to people, and really start working with others...he could probably honestly end up a supreme leader in truth, not just of DICE -- and honestly, it’s debatable whether any real life secret organization would be evil. Underneath the veneer he puts up of being a villain, he’s a pretty damn good dark grey anti-hero.

Whatever he does, though, he has the potential to be great.

19. How do they behave within a group? What role(s) do they take? Does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? Why?

Nagito doesn’t like groups. He tries to avoid large groups of people as a general rule, because the more people he interact with, the more dangers there are because of him. The more things can happen. But if he has to work with others, depending on who they are...well, even in normal situations he doesn’t like to take charge, but he will if he decides no one else is capable of it. But among Ultimates, he’ll reflexively fade into the background because he has no right to outshine anyone there. He can’t stop his urges to be helpful either way, though, and tends to end up doing a lot of legwork and effort into anything and everything he can do, above and beyond. He desires very deeply to be useful to people, and that drive gets things done.

The difference comes in how he presents his results -- if it’s people he believes he’s more capable than, he’ll just be honest (and just a little condescending) about it, very straightforward and spell it out. If it’s other Ultimates, though, like we see in SDR2, he’ll be a lot more subtle in how he pushes people and leads them to information, because he doesn’t think he deserves to be the star, so he’ll nudge others into catching up to him.

The better he knows you, though, the more likely it is he’ll be willing to work as...not equals, but he’ll be less avoidant or condescending about things.

20. What kind of individual relationships do they have with others, and how do they behave in them? How are they different between intimate relationships like friends, family, and lovers versus more impersonal relationships?

Kokichi isn’t good at most interpersonal relationships! He has a lot of trust issues, and he’s not good at being...honest or serious in most situations, so he tends to make more enemies than friends, or at least most people tend to think he’s very annoying at best. He pushes buttons deliberately, to the point where he has a very, very hard time turning it off.

But if you manage to get through that, he’s...very clingy and affectionate and still teasing! But a more gentle, good-natured teasing. He has a hard time trusting people, but in friend/family relationships, once he decides you’re in that category, he’s still annoying, but in a more....tolerable way. He doesn’t want to lose what he’s gotten, so he tones it down when he really cares about someone.

His friends are very carefully curated -- honestly, his only friends are the other kids from the Game, because you don’t go through that and not be friends -- and his family took a long time to be warmed up to, but they get to see a softer and more genuine side to him not many other people get.

21. What kind of relationships do they tend to intentionally seek out versus actually cultivate? What kind of social contact do they prefer, and why?

He doesn’t...ha, relationships. Honestly, if Nagito had his way at this point he’d be an actual hermit. He doesn’t want other relationships anymore, because people who attach to him die. Not that people do that anyway as his symptoms have gotten worse, because of how strange and off-putting he comes across.

However, to be completely honest, he is desperately lonely despite the fear he has, and he wants friends. He wants people to sit and speak with him about nothing in particular, to just...spend time with him, even doing nothing, just so he isn’t alone. He isn’t picky, and he’s even okay with not being understood entirely. He just...he wants someone to try. Even if he knows he might panic and push back harder if someone deliberately reaches out-- he wants someone to try to understand him, so he isn’t alone. So...while he doesn’t intentionally seek out relationships -- the reverse, really -- he...wants people that will try.

22. How do people respond to them, and why might these responses differ?

Kokichi is...people tend to hate him or be deeply annoyed by him -- he actively encourages it -- and respond with anger or annoyance or frustration or a deep desire to strangle him or punch him in the face. This is intentional.

If he gets a response that differs -- if people don’t take his shit and try to deal with him calmly or in a friendly manner no matter how hard he pushes...well, he has very little idea how to handle that, so it might be the best response.

23. How do they respond to difficult social moments? What makes them consider a social situation difficult?

Nagito is...well, thanks to his brain disease 99% of all social situations are very difficult. He can’t read social cues well, and he has very little real experience with a lot of situations anyway thanks to how little interaction he allows himself with others, so he tends to be lost most of the time when interacting with people.

So he’s just...himself, most of the time. That tends to mean he says whatever comes to mind with no pause to consider how to phrase it properly, and has little filter on things or judgement on what not to say. He’ll back off if explicitly told he’s saying/doing something wrong -- though he’s not likely to get why -- and go quiet, but usually he’s very helpful and enthusiastic and intense, and...he struggles to understand when he does something wrong, so mistakes happen a lot.

24. How do they present themselves socially? What distinguishes their “persona” from their “true self”, and what causes that difference?

Kokichi’s persona of the lying little bastard who has no qualms about a lot of stuff and laughs and giggles and jokes and takes nothing seriously, or flips to being cruel and threatening and mocking...while it is close to his true self, he’s actually a bit softer than that. He doesn’t like being outright mean to people, more interested in good fun and pranks unless you deserve being fucked with, and he’s a lot more...sincere about things. And sweeter, in an odd way.

He just has way too many trust issues and anxiety over being betrayed or abandoned to let people in, and it’s easier to cope if he doesn’t take things seriously, so he doesn’t. It’s just a lot easier to be that persona.

25. What do they need and want out of relationships, and how do they go about getting it?

What Nagito wants? The bare basics of a good relationship: be nice to him, treat him with respect, care about him, and don’t leave him alone. That’s it. He doesn’t even expect to be understood, so long as you’re kind to him and don’t leave him.

And while he does need that, yes, he also needs...more than that. He needs someone to try and understand him, to acknowledge where he has problems and what he can’t understand, and help him. He needs someone -- friends or otherwise -- to work with him and help him in the areas where his condition impairs him, his judgement and his social interactions etc. He needs people who will be his friend no matter what comes out of his mouth, and people who he can rely on to tell him what not to do or say, people who can act as his judgement and be the parts of himself he doesn’t have.

He needs people to care about him, and he needs a support system.

26. How do they view and feel about relationships, and how might this manifest in how they handle them, if it does?

Again, Kokichi has major trust issues and is very bad at dropping his persona for people, but the relationships he does manage to build? They’re incredibly important to him, and even if he’s cautious about things going south, he values his friends and family a great deal. He’s very...careful about them at first? Tests the water to know for sure how far he can go with his usual antics, and once he figures out the line he makes sure never to cross it. Makes sure his antics are tolerated in the first place, because you will actively lose his trust or friendship if you try to force him to stop or change or if you’re too strict with what he’s allowed to do. He needs some leeway, and he will test it very hard, but once he’s confident, he’ll behave better; he just needs reassurance he can still be himself with you before he can relax.

#;hc: kokichi #;hc: komaeda #multiimuse

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lavanderstarcatcher · 7 years ago

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At the Beginning || SeungChuChu Childhood AU || Part VI

A guide how to be lazy, the author? Me. Sorry, this part refelcts a few of my opinions on books and movies (and I hopefully don’t offend anyone (to be sure, check warnings).

Warnings: there is cursing, there is mention of 16-year-olds watching porn (only mention, there is no context, at all, surrounding porn), there are very vague spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Mark of Athena and House of Hades but won’t spoil the book for ya if you want to read it.

Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

- Anastasia - At the beginning

They had an important test upcoming Monday. Seung-gil had studied, and biology was one of his best subjects. Phichit, however, hadn’t studied yet and his biology grade was cry-worthy. So, Seung-gil was supposed to tutor Phichit and save his sorry ass for flopping the upcoming test. However, Phichit had different priorities.

The library was pretty much empty. The few people who were there were studying, the rest had opted to go home. After all, it was well past four on a Friday. Everyone had something better to do — Seung-gil included. His newly released copy of ‘Fearless’, which was the second book in the series, was lying on his nightstand, ready to be read. That thing was actually the reason Seung-gil had bothered to study in advance, now he had the entire weekend to read the book. But he couldn’t let Phichit fluke his test, it wouldn’t sit right with him. Prioritising his best friend over a book used to feel wrong — he wouldn’t have done it years ago, but nowadays. No, he couldn’t, taking into account how much Phichit meant to him.

“I don’t like him,” Phichit said as he peered over his study book.

Not bothering to hide his gaze like Phichit, Seung-gil watched the only other duo in the library. They were sitting pretty close to each other. A bit too close his mind supplied, but Seung-gil ignored it. He wasn’t Phichit — he could let go.

“Leo is a good guy,” Seung-gil said, pushing Phichit’s head down so he was eyeing his notes instead of the other students. “And he’s Guang Hong’s tutor. If you were better in Spanish, you could have done it. But your Spanish is cry-worthy.”

Phichit let out a scandalised gasp. “You think my Spanish is bad — have you ever heard your own?”

“I have, and it’s terrible, but I no longer have Spanish classes. However, we have a biology test coming up, and someone hasn’t studied yet.”

Thankfully, Phichit looked guilty.

“Fine — still, if he dares to break Guang Hong’s heart—”

Seung-gil swatted the back of Phichit’s head. “He’s fourteen, leave him be.”

“Really? You aren’t rooting for him to get a boyfriend?”

“No, not really,” Seung-gil lied.

It was a bit of a lie. Seung-gil wasn’t rooting for Guang Hong to get a boyfriend per se, but he had approved of Leo. The extensive Facebook stalking had helped, a lot. Not that Phichit knew that, and Seung-gil had strategically erased all evidence (aside from his notes on Leo — also known as Leo de la Iglesia — who he had stored in a folder called ‘porn’. There was no porn in that folder, but nobody would look at a sixteen-year-old weirdly if they had a porn folder. He knew Phichit had one). So, yeah, he cared about his friend’s happiness, but he wasn’t going to meddle with it like Phichit was planning on doing.

“So, you’re telling me that you don’t know anything about Leo, at all? I mean,” Phichit grinned innocently. “I know that he is a second-year student — but he looks a bit old. Our age at least. So do you think he’s held back a few years?”

Seung-gil had little redeeming qualities and a tonne of issues — and one of those issues was that he was a know it all. He was willing to fight anyone to get thing his way, especially if his way is correct. Another issue is that his brain-to-mouth filter, at least around Phichit, was shit.

“He’s fifteen — second year. Not held back a single year. He is an average student, he mainly has female friends and is openly bisexual, and he isn’t too old for Guang Hong for gods’ sake — please focus on your homework. We have a test next Monday, and I want to finish my book.”

And he had just run his mouth, and Phichit was going to have a field day. Because he basically admitted that he had Facebook stalked Leo — which showed he cared.

“Knew you cared,” Phichit said gleefully. “Actually knew it beforehand, but I like to rile you up. You know, I was curious what kind of porn you watched — turns out you hide all your dirty secrets in your porn folder aside from actual porn.”

Shit. “How did you know my password?” Seung-gil asked, feeling fear coursing through his veins. It was Phichit’s birthday — which friend has their best friend’s birthday as their password? None. But the count of people who had their crush’ birthday or name as their password — oh dear. He was screwed.

Phichit’s grin was a bit forced. “I didn’t, you forgot to sign off.”

Thank gods.

“Yes, fine, I care. Now, study.”

It didn’t work — but hey, Phichit was willing to do anything to avoid having to study, so Seung-gil shouldn’t have been surprised.

“I’m studying,” Phichit said, staring at him with a big grin on his face. “I’m studying you, or more like how you are still single. The older girls — the one who actually are looking for a stable relationship — like sensitive guys. The ones that won’t make fun of girls their feelings, or who don’t judge them for dying over the Hunger Games movies and the hotshot actors.”

Liam Hemsworth was pretty handsome, his mind kindly supplied. On the other hand, Thor.

“I don’t care that much about the movies — the books are better,” Seung-gil said, ignoring the urge to mention that yes, there were some hotshot actors. He hated puberty, and Phichit’s voice narrating his thoughts. Gay thoughts. He really should consider coming out because this was getting annoying. On the other hand, he didn’t want to lose Phichit. The closet was a pretty safe place.

Phichit rolled his eyes dramatically. “Not all book-based movies are bad. The Harry Potter movies are pretty great.”

“The Harry Potter movies are okay — but you were there, you’ve seen the animosity that was the Percy Jackson movie — I can’t believe they’re making another one.”

Softness and comfort smoothed out Phichit’s teasing expression. “I know — but you’re biased. I only have seen you throw a book twice — which both were a Percy Jackson and Harry Potter book might I remind you — and I lost count of how many books you’ve read.”

“Well,” Seung-gil crossed his arms and glaring at Phichit. “Some books are meant to be thrown with. The Half-Blood Prince still has scarred me for life and—”

Phichit nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that one was bad, but it was nothing compared The Mark of Athena. Your bloodcurdling scream when you threw the books across the room is still etched in mind. I thought the main character died, at best.”

“They might as well have died,” Seung-gil said, feeling himself tear up a little. He hated that book — it taunted him, and he seriously wondered how he had resisted the urge to set it on fire. “I hated that ending.”

“Hey, at least be happy that nothing happened to him. I know you’re attached to him.”

Wiping away the dampness before they could start to form tears, Seung-gil smiled thinly. “Don’t jinx it — there are still two books to go.”

A loud cough burst their happy little bubble, causing Phichit to yelp, nearly toppling off his chair, and Seung-gil instinctively checks the clock. It was well past five — his parents would kill him if he missed dinner.

“Guang Hong,” Phichit wheezed, voice high-pitched and filled with guilt. “You gave me a near heart attack.”

A fourteen-year-old shouldn’t look this done with his life. But Guang Hong did look like that, tired, a little frustrated and annoyed — if frustration and annoyance were even two different things.

“Phichit,” Guang Hong mimicked. “I’m the mean one? You are distracting Seung-gil, who is willingly tutoring you. You know how he gets when you talk about his books."

Phichit shrugged innocently under Guang Hong’s accusing gaze. It shouldn’t make sense — as Guang Hong clearly wasn’t blaming him — but Seung-gil felt himself grow flustered, a healthy dose of shame washed over him. He was so predictable, one word about his precious books and he was gone.

“Yeah, well, you were more distracting,” Phichit argued. “So, you and Leo?”

“Oh seriously,” Guang Hong sounded annoyed, looked annoyed, and he was also flustered from head to toe. Poor guy. “Leave me and my love life alone till you get your head out of your behind and fix your own.”

Seung-gil hated the meaningful look he got from Guang Hong — because he somehow knew. Like, Seung-gil had never mentioned he is romantically interested in Phichit. On the other hand, after knowing each other for almost ten years, being joined at the hip and Seung-gil being very, very gay, this conclusion wasn’t too farfetched. (It wasn’t hard to figure out, considering the fact he never really liked women, at all. He just hadn’t come out of the closet yet).

“My love life is perfectly fine,” Phichit grumbled. “I have a hot date with biology and maybe this guy,” he gestured to Seung-gil. “If he’s still willing to tutor me.”

Rubbing his eyes, Seung-gil let out a deep sigh. “More like torture you, but fine. Just don’t whine when I call you out of bed at 2:00 in the middle of the night after finishing a book.”

Phichit beamed. “Deal.”

~*~

“We have a test tomorrow,” Phichit used as his greeting.

He loved Seung-gil, he really did, but it was well past midnight, he had been sleeping just fine, and tomorrow they had a test early. This wasn’t the time for a phone call.

“Technically today,” Seung-gil answered, voice filled with emotions that had nothing to do with the upcoming test. He sounded like he just—

“Are you okay?” Phichit asked, flicking a light and sitting upright in bed. “It sounds like you have been crying.”

Seung-gil sniffed, followed by a muted noise that most likely was him blowing his nose. “Regretfully started the book today,” Seung-gil explained.

Oh. Okay yes, that might explain a lot.

“Did they die?” Phichit asked.

“No,” it was odd to hear Seung-gil talk with a tight, emotion-filled voice. “It’s something else — but that doesn’t matter. I have to tell you something.”

Phichit hummed as a go-ahead. It wouldn’t be the first time Seung-gil had stopped mid-book and ranted to Phichit about whatever was bothering.

“I’m gay.”

Phichit seriously wondered where he learnt that many curse words, but that didn’t matter because right now he was mentally cursing up a storm. Because he didn’t see that coming — which made him a horrible friend. An awful friend. Because Seung-gil was his best friend and he never had realised it, though it all made sense.

“I’m sorry,” Seung-gil said, voice shattered into many delicate pieces. “This must be awkward for you, but I decided that you deserved to know, you’re my best friend and—”

“I should be sorry,” Phichit blurted out, effectively cutting Seung-gil off. “You’re my best friend, I should have noticed, but I didn’t. And the sad part is that everything makes sense — the fact you never liked girls to begin with,” taking a deep breath, he forced a few tears back. “I shouldn’t even be allowed to call myself your best friend.”

Seung-gil sniffed, which was followed by a chuckle. That Phichit was surprised was an understatement — because he heard Seung-gil laugh and cry within ten minutes and it was like an early Christmas miracle though they didn’t really celebrate Christmas.

“You don’t mind?” Seung-gil asked. “Me, you know, liking men?”

Phichit snorted. It was such a stupid question. Ten years of friendship weren’t going to be ruined by the fact that Seung-gil came out as gay. Heck, Phichit was actually happy Seung-gil confessed. Because suddenly the puzzle that was Seung-gil made a lot more sense. The interest in men, the support he offered Guang Hong after coming out, his crush on several fictional characters, always male characters. Phichit honestly wondered how he could have been so blind.

“Mind? Seriously, I’m actually happy that you trust me enough to tell me — what prompted you, to know, confess?”

“I’m glad,” a brief pause. “It’s well past two — do you really want me to keep you awake for much longer? It will be a long explanation.”

Sleep sounded tempting, though, on the other hand, it was Seung-gil they were talking about. Seung-gil had sacrificed so many things for Phichit’s sake, so he supposed that he could return that. “Sure, tell me.”

#seungchuchu #Seung-gil Lee #phichit chulanont #guang hong ji #leoji #Yuri on ice #yoi #fanfiction #fanfic #childhood #childhood friends au #atthebeginning

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reddiess · 7 years ago

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Can you do a reddie fic where Richie is talking to a girl and realizes that Eddie is jealous

HELLO I AM DOWN FOR JEALOUS EDDIE ALWAYSalso posted this on my AO3 !“There he fucking goes again,” is the first thing Eddie says to Beverly upon arriving at the fair. It’s the second day of the week-long festival in Derry and Richie Tozier is already going around playing the man whore.Eddie understands, he does. There are a lot of pretty girls that come to the fair from all around the state, so any guy who is interested in women would love the opportunity to sneak in a casual flirt or two – Richie obviously being one of them. Just these two days Eddie has seen him talk to more girls than he’s seen Henry Bowers in a fight. And that’s, well, that’s a lot.“A hello would’ve been nice,” Beverly smirks at him with knowing eyes, painfully aware of how bad Eddie feels.It’s not that Richie is not allowed to talk to girls, not at all. He should talk to as many girls as he wants, ask them on dates and win them stuffed animals at the booths littered all around the main street. Of course he should, if that’s what makes him feel the thrill of a flirt. Eddie, though. Eddie knows very well Richie is allowed to do all those things; the guy is single, basically a walking ball of energy and sexual innuendos spill out of his mouth without a pause all day. He deserves to let some of his teenage frustration out with some giggly strangers who are more than willing to jump into conversation with the local flirt. Eddie would know – because if you care, yours truly is head-over-heels for his own best friend, aforementioned Richie Tozier.

He would also be very happy to have Richie’s attention on him like that, all playful and suggestive, not even hiding his intentions.

Not that he will ever have it; that he’d come to terms with. But seeing his crush flying from one pretty, long-haired girl to the other, never bothering to even glance at him, is pretty soul crushing. If it weren’t for his friends, Eddie would’ve already went home.

“Sorry, Bev,” he apologizes, but Beverly just shrugs it off; she has an idea how shitty it must be for Eddie to see all of that. It’s kind of an unspoken truth that Eddie is completely gone for Richie, but no one has ever addressed it outside of Bev. That’s basically how they bonded to be the closest of friends in the group – one summer afternoon they were left behind on a hike through the woods, the rest of the group way ahead of them. The conversation somehow steered towards the topic of crushes, and before Eddie knew he found himself confessing all his feelings towards Richie to Beverly. Even though the girl most likely already knew, as they all did (save for Richie, who was extremely clueless), actually admitting the fact out loud made it realer, somehow. Made him accept it a little more. Beverly also had a secret crush, it turned out, but her affection towards Ben obviously worked out better than it had for Eddie. The pair were going strong for almost half a year now. Eddie couldn’t be happier for them, Ben and Beverly completed each other in ways he could only hope to have with someone one day.

And that’s what brings them here. Eddie’s mood is already at a low point to start with, but as they wait for their friends to arrive the girl starts getting a little too touchy-feely for Eddie’s liking. Not that he has a say in it or anything, but now his mood is just downright awful. Richie seems to be having the time of his fucking life with some brunette (she’s very pretty, another thing that annoys Eddie to no end) while he’s over here on a bench, fuming over his man who is not actually his man.

The group slowly arrives and Richie also saunters over, clearly pleased with himself for having chatted up so many “hot chicks”, as he kept referring to them the day before. Why did Eddie have to fall for the straightest boy in his friend group, just why?

“Let’s check out the rides,” Mike suggests when they’ve all gathered together. Eddie enthusiastically agrees – all his life he wasn’t allowed to sit on anything that was bigger and more fun than a child’s slide on the playground, but he secretly loved every adrenaline-inducing ride.

They settle on a moderately normal one for starters, just a standard roller coaster some meters off the ground. Since there’s seven of them and the car can carry eight people for the ride, Richie spreads himself all over the two seats in the behind.

“Care to join me ova ‘ere Spaghetti Head?” he shouts to Eddie, his awful British accent making everyone roll their eyes. “Quite comfortable, if you can be bothered – and the view! I do believe Stanley has a family of sparrows living in that hair of his, come bird watching!”

Stan turns back to him and flicks Richie on the forehead as hard as he can. “Beep beep, Richie.”

Later he will admit that he is being an immature little shit but Eddie just goes “Yeah? Why don’t you get one of those, I don’t know, twenty girls you’ve been chatting up today to sit with you?”

It comes out much snappier than he intended, which seems to be a pattern now. It’s like he’s losing control over his mouth, but really, what can he do when everything is so awful all the time? So instead of sitting down next to Richie he sits in the front with Mike. It’s more exciting from there anyways, he thinks. The ride makes his heart race and his stomach all funny almost as much as Richie does.

When they get off Stan makes a beeline for the candy booth (“I’m feeling so weird now, my blood sugar dropped I swear!” “Come on Stanley, just admit you’re a pussy when it comes to rides!” “Shut the fuck UP, Richie.”). Bill and Eddie go with him while Beverly, Mike and Ben wait with Richie on the side. Just as Eddie is walking back with an impressive chunk of honeycomb, his favorite, yet another girl saunters up to Richie. Ridiculous.

“Didn’t we meet yesterday?” she asks, her tone playful and, oh god, an actual honest-to-God British accent. How is Eddie supposed to compete with that?

Bev is now looking at him with a sympathetic expression, which honestly just makes him feel pathetic even though he appreciates all the support he gets from her. Richie is now engaging in some playful banter while Eddie draws his eyebrows together because what the fuck is this girl even doing here? This is literally the most unlikely place for some English chick to be in the entire world but here she is, talking to his Richie like it’s National Flirt With Eddie’s Crush Day.

By the time the others get back she has said her goodbyes, not only to Richie but to the entire group – which made Eddie roll his eyes in annoyance – but he’s sure there are more to come in the three days that are left of the fair.

“Cute one, isn’t she?” Richie turns to them with a grin.

Eddie grits his teeth. “Yeah, just adorable,” he spits with so much hostility he surprises even himself. You need to fucking check yourself, he thinks, because you’re being fucking obvious. Not that Richie would ever notice these things. Don’t get him wrong, Richie is really smart. The boy is one of the top students in their year and he goes around blurting out facts and statistics all day, an endless pile of information flowing out of his mouth that never fails to amaze Eddie – but he wouldn’t recognize romantic feelings if you shoved them up his ass.

“What’s up with you?” Richie asks then, not really following (see explanation above). Ridiculous.

“Nothing” he snaps. “You know what, I just, I need to go home.”

He leaves the confused group behind, quickens his steps so he can get out of there as fast as possible. He just doesn’t want to deal with this today, he decides and almost runs the way home. When he arrives he greets his mom downstairs, getting his act together just for so long that she won’t be suspicious, before running up to his room where he breaks down.

Back at the fair, Richie Tozier swears he’s never been so confused in his life. “Got his period or what? Is this his mom’s mood reflecting onto him because she didn’t get laid?”

“Oh my God, Richie,” Beverly snaps, surprising everyone. “Are you seriously that blind?” She looks around for some agreement but the other boys are just as confused as Richie is.

“Jesus Christ,” Beverly scoffs. “Men.”

“Hey!” Ben chimes in but Bev is already going off on Richie.

“Eddie has been in love with you forever,” she exclaims to the foul-mouthed boy, ignoring her boyfriend’s protests. “Are you telling me that you’re seriously so dumb you never even had a suspicion, because I’m not buying it. He’s been pining over you for years, Richie, that’s what’s up with him. You might not like him back but the least you can do is not go around chasing girls when you’re supposed to hang out with him! And us, for that matter.”

You could pinpoint the moment Richie finally gets it, his face twisting into an expression that says I fucked up, didn’t I.

“Fuck!” he sighs. “How am I supposed to know? God fucking dammit—”

Everyone is silent for a minute, brains trying to process and file the amount of new information that was thrown at them. “I’m gonna go after him,” Richie finally decides and takes off.

“Richie—”

“I don’t think he wants to see you right now, dude,” Mike calls after him.

“I don’t care!” Richie shouts back and breaks into a sprint.

“What the hell just happened,” Stan asks but doesn’t really need an answer.

“God it takes forever to convince your mom to let me in,” Richie steps, no, falls into Eddie’s bedroom, startling the smaller boy.

“What the fuck!” Eddie exclaims. He is sitting on his bed with a book and a box of tissues; his eyes are red, shiny from all the crying. Richie is sure that if he were to look closely he could still see the tracks of Eddie’s tears on that cute, cute face. “What are you doing here?”

Frankly, Eddie doesn’t understand. He takes in the state his friend is in – Richie is panting, trying to catch his breath, hair a mess like he was running. Why in the hell he would run to Eddie’s house beats him.

“I wa—whew, I wanted to talk to you,” comes the answer. “Can I sit down?”

“Of course,” Eddie scoots over to the end of the bed so Richie has place to sit. He imagines how he must look in his sweatpants and oversized hoodie, the clothes swallowing him whole, his eyes puffy with tears, surrounded by used tissues. Why the fuck not, just what he needed for today as the cherry on top was for Richie to see him like this. What a sight he must be, really.

“Back there, were you…” Was I what, you coward, say it. “Were you jealous?”

Ding ding ding, the one million dollar question! Richie Tozier has finally got it, ladies and gentlemen! Stay tuned for after the break, where we find out if he needed help figuring it out!

Eddie doesn’t answer but stops his inner monologue to really take Richie in; he actually looks guilty and somewhat confused, but God, does he look breathtaking. Eddie is so mad at himself that after all this time and after all the sadness and heartbreak he’s went through, Richie Tozier still makes his knees weak and gives him butterflies in his stomach. He would still bend and break willingly at the snap of Richie’s fingers and in that moment, he hates himself for it.

“Psh, no!” he scoffs. “Why would I- why would I be jealous?” He is stumbling over his words. He does that sometimes, when he’s nervous because he speaks too fast and tends to ramble anyway, another thing he doesn’t like.

“It’s okay if you were, you know. I think I would be too.”

“I just told you, I wasn’t!” Eddie persists. He is lying but isn’t it better than revealing your biggest secret? Isn’t it? “…And what if I was. It’s none of your business.”

Richie chuckles. “It kind of is, Eds. I do flirt with a lot of girls—”

“Yeah, rub it in, why don’t you.” Did Richie come here just to laugh in his face about his crush? Eddie doesn’t know a Richie like that, that’s for sure.

“No, I mean, that’s all it is. Flirting.” Richie clarifies. “But if I knew how you felt about it I wouldn’t have… you know. I never thought I’d actually have a chance with you.”

“What do you mean a chance with me?” Eddie curses his heart when it instantly leaps out of his chest and oh, that’s Richie’s hand on his, okay. Don’t fucking freak out.

“I do like you, Eddie. I know it’s kind of hard to believe with how I’m normally acting, but I do. I’ve been kind of gone for you for a while now but I’ve never… I really didn’t know.”

“This better not be a fucking joke,” Eddie warns. “And I’m no secret. If you want to be with me then be with me, but don’t keep me in the dark. You want to be my actual fucking boyfriend or what?”

Richie coughs up a surprised laugh. “Aye mate, ‘tis a feisty one. It’d be me honor to bee ya boeyfrind.”

“Is that supposed to be a Scottish accent…?” Eddie gives him a flat stare.

“…Yes?”

“Well, it’s not,” Eddie tells him. He still seems weirdly proud of butchering the accent, but hey, that’s Richie Tozier for you. “You better kiss me before I change my mind.”

And boy, does he.

#reddie #idk if this is cute is this cute?#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie fic #it #it 2017 #it movie #anon #answered

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kaplunstevee · 4 years ago

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