#basically im doing my darndest

[f-imaginings]

Balancing full time emotionally taxing work, a social life, maintaining a healthy romantic relationship, household chores, and part time study alongside writing isn't easy but I am trying my very best. Three years of writers block was hard but now I'm finally overcoming it thanks to being in a supportive relationship and working on myself through doing trauma therapy.

[tittysuckersworld]

google search how to put someone down in the nicest way posible when they have no idea how world works in a way

[kaijunouhhhhhhhhhhummmm]

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4.4k/ Reader pov x soshiro build up/ reader has a big family/ it's chaotic but in a good way/ some drama with soshiro/  angy soshiro/ trying my darndest to be gn with my reader POV but im sure i missed somethin/ i guess hurt and comfort?/ where are all my ppl with loud and invasive families at haha

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Soshiro has yelled before. “Get those legs up!” “More! C’mon I know you got more in you!” “Ten more reps then we’ll call it a day!” all commands in training or shouting orders when on a mission. Sure, he’s yelled and shouted at all of you a whole lot. But always in your best interest. For your protection, strength, encouragement, to make you better. But this time was different. 

It got very silent after he did. This time he wasn't shouting from his usual place of care. He was angry. Almost menacing even. Worse, it was directed at you. 

You dropped your staff in the middle of armed combat training. It happens. Not a big deal. Usually. People drop staffs, swords, guns, all the time and then everyone corrects form and  moves on. Not today. 

You’re frozen in place. For the first time you find yourself afraid of the vice captain. There is always the knowledge that he could kill you if he really wanted to. He is extremely talented and could take a whole school of trainees. Of course. There is the reverence of his ability at all times. But to feel like it could be used against you? You’ve never felt fear quite like that sink into your bones. You’re sure your skin has gone pale and your basic bodily functions like breathing and heartbeat faltered. Everyone else feels it too. His eyes, a brilliant violet, are staring into yours and you can't move. The strength you were using a moment ago vanishes.The tension in his body seems ready to pounce on you. What did you do wrong? You couldn't understand. You go through all your movements in your head. Everyone drops fighting props. What did you do wrong? He berated you infront of everyone and internally you're doing it to yourself now too.

Kafka breaks the silence in the room and the panic in your head. “Hey, uh, vice captain, I’ll work with them.” He puts his hand on your shoulder and with a tug pulls you out of your frozen state and guides you away from Soshiro’s glare to a far corner of the gymnasium. Soshiro doesn't argue and you feel his eyes on the both of you as you’re guided away. The tension is still heavy in the air as you both walk. 

Practice continues quietly and with hesitancy from everyone as they avoid being on the receiving end of any more of his ire. You can feel eyes on you and murmurs of “Shit, that was intense.” “They okay?” “I wouldn't be.” You're still shaking a bit as Kafaka tries to guide you through the movements. A pitying look on his face you're half grateful for. You’re still trying to figure out what happened. What did you do that was so incorrect? Maybe something you did before this? 

“Hey.” Kafka’s low soft voice snaps you back from your spiral again. “Keep your eyes on me okay?” 

You nod trying to steel your nerves but you’re too afraid to look back at the vice captain. God, you think you’re going to cry actually. His anger is so frightening but more so is the thought of disappointing him. Kafka is fighting you with the same gentleness he would use on a kitten. 

Practice ends and your friends practically run to you. You're grateful for the shield they provide as you all put your weapons away and leave the gym. You still don't dare to look at the vice captain. Embarrassed, hurt and tired you let them guide you to the cafeteria. 

“Okay what the fuck was that?” Iharu asks once you're all out of earshot from Soshiro. 

“Yeah, that was a bit much.” Reno says.

“A bit? It was uncalled for.” Kikoru says, noticeably upset. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for berating people when it's called for but (y/n) wasn't doing anything wrong. We all drop our staff sometimes.” 

“Yeah, especially during sparring.” says Reno

“You didn't do anything to piss him off before training did ‘ya?” Iharu asks you.

“No? I don't think so?” It's not like you havent been thinking about it. It's all youve been thinking about. What did you do that was so wrong? 

“Hey, even if they did, that kind of reaction is uncalled for.” Kikoru says.

“She’s right.” Reno says. “Even if (y/n) had, vice captain still has to be mindful of how he carries out punishment. Obviously after he did that it affected morale.”

“Was he acting a bit off to any of you before training started?” Kikoru asks. 

“Nah, I didn't notice anything.” Iharu says. 

“What else is new?” Reno remarks. 

“Hey!” Iharu says, punching Renos arm. 

“Yeah, way to have self awareness, Iharu.” Kikoru adds. 

You all laugh at Iharu’s expense and his many failed objections to having some level of self awareness. 

Kafka sighs “I don't know what that was but I bet it's got nothing to do with you, yeah?” he rests a heavy arm over your shoulders as you all reach the cafeteria. “At least you won't be here for the rest of the week.”

“Oh yeah, your big family gathering and all.” Iharu pinches your arm.

That brings a smile to your face. You haven't seen your family in months, much less extended family and you're excited to have some home cooking and for your parents to buy your dinners for you when you all go sightseeing. You appreciate your friends so much for trying to make you feel better. A family away from your own. Kafka is probably right. Maybe something did happen to Soshiro before training. It still stung though. 

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Five days go by in a very turbulent cyclone of hugs, sometimes the bear kind, kisses, hand shaking, other times straight up picking you up and shaking your whole body greetings. “Cousin!” “Sister!” “Mom!” “Uncle!” “Dad!” “Look at you! You’re real strong now, huh?” “Can we fight?” “How many kaiju have you killed?” “Any cute guys you got your eye on?” “Do you travel a lot?” “Do you get to keep body parts?” “Where can I get their body parts?” “Gross.” “I bet it's fun.” “I bet it's gross.” “Stop talking about it. I hate thinking about my baby in that situation.” “They arent your baby anymore!” “Yeah they are. Just a bigger baby now.” And on and on like that constantly for days. It doesn't particularly end at night either. 

You’ve all gathered at your grandfather's house managing to squeeze something like 15 people (with more coming and going) into four bedrooms, two living rooms, four closets and some even camping in the kitchen. Still more come for dinners and outings but do not stay the night. At night you can hear your mother and aunts cackle and chat about old boyfriends, girlfriends, some information you could have gone your whole life not hearing about your uncles and who in the family died recently. They talk outside for hours and still get up before everyone else to make breakfast. Your uncles outside talking about work and how their jobs are treating them. Maybe find new contacts through each other. Not everyone could take the time off for the reunion. Some come and go for work. Some drop by for lunch. Some relatives you only see briefly, some you spend the whole week with. Your grandfather half heartedly watching the kids with your other grandfather. Your afternoons with your cousins are left chatting about who's dating who, who's going to work where, accepted to what school, marrying someone here, going on a trip elsewhere. 

Long walks, shopping trips, hikes, several grocery runs, long drives, sleeping in cramped seats, lots of cleaning after dinner, arguing about bathroom order. You figure every single minute was used for something. It feels like a lof once you reflect on it but it's familiar and comforting even if stressful at times. Finding the quiet moments to speak in the silence of a tired house late at night are some of the best conversations you ever have. They happen in bedrooms, on the patio, in the backyard, in the kitchen, outside past the gate on the sidewalk, the bathroom. Whispers of gossip, your aunt's new young boyfriend, your cousin's way too expensive car that has your aunt shake her head when mentioned. Tense moments that are forced to pass, laughter that hurts your sides when you breathe, honestly that brings some to cry, reminiscing of days that make everyone silent and listen intently. Understanding this is passed wisdom you may not get the chance to hear again. Sometimes this all happens at once in the same room.

Your mom announces she wants to have a big dinner tonight since most of your family will leave the following day. All day all hands are helping cook, clean, shop, set tables, chairs, speakers, putting on makeup, doing hair, choosing outfits and shopping some more.

Finally everyone is in for the evening and once again settling down for long conversations, drinking, playing games, eating and dancing. You are often on your feet getting this for that uncle, helping an aunt with that, giving a cousin this, talking to grandma about some other thing you haven't thought about since you were eight. 

You finally get a chance to sit at a crowded table breathing in for a moment. So many family and friends showed up that the dinner had to spill out to the patio from inside. Then more friends and family arrived and then it spilled out into the front yard. All the young, too cool teens in the backyard, your cousins closer to your age crowded around you talking, well, more like yelling but that's just how they speak. Your older aunts and uncles half singing half telling stories to laugh at each other too. Some others helping set up hanging lights on the trees. Soshiro casually speaking with one of your uncles by the gate. The kids chase each other with toys or beg for a water slide. 

Wait.

Soshiro casually speaking with your uncle by the front gate?

No, you weren't drinking unlike your other cousins so you definitely were not imagining Soshiro casually holding a conversation with your uncle. Now one of your aunts is walking towards him with a drink. Oh god what is going on. 

You shoot up to your feet and try as fast as you can to get to him but have to shove past chairs and tables set tightly by each other. Push by family standing and talking. Squeeze around others carrying food and barely managing not to trip past spatially challenged adults and children. 

“Vice captain!” You shout although you don't mean to be so loud but you are still not convinced this is really happening. You’re actually not sure if you didn't drink something earlier while being tossed around for chores and taking a sip from anything to quench your thirst and forgot. 

Soshiro turns to you with his usual unreadable expression. He’s holding what looks like orange soda in his hand. “Hello (y/n). I hope you don't mind my intrusion but I really wanted to talk to you-”

“(y/n)! Why didn't you say you were going to have guests come today?” your aunt that handed him his drink asks.

“I didn't know I had any.” you say to her confused, worried, and maybe a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry I wasn't expecting anyone from the division to show up. What are you doing here?” you ask him. A million scenarios of how this evening could go horribly wrong play out. You're suddenly very self conscious. 

Before Soshiro can say anything you see one of your uncles walk towards you and give you both a look. You know that look. It's the look every family member in the history of family has always given when they are about to ask the dreaded question. You are too late to stop him from asking: “Boyfriend?” 

“NO!” you shout just as the word comes out of his mouth. But now you’ve managed to attract everyone's attention within earshot. You hope the music drowned out your uncle asking that. You dare a quick look at Soshiro’s face but it's unmoving. Thank god he's always had such a good poker face. 

Cousins begin to walk up “Hey, there (y/n)’s friend that is definitely not a boyfriend! What's your name?” 

This is gonna be a long evening. 

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You're both sitting next to each other. It's been something like three hours and they have not stopped asking Soshiro questions. It's not everyday a famous kaiju killing officer shows up to a family gathering. You’re exhausted from trying to protect Soshiro from evasive questions but he takes it all in stride. He answers all questions promptly and gives just the right amount of information. He’s so tactful with your rude family it's admirable. There's no point in you telling them not to ask something because Soshiro has already responded. You stop trying to stop it. He's perfectly trained in combat and intrusive family conversation too it seems.

“So vice captain, is (y/n) any good at what they do?” a cousin asks with a baby on his lap. 

You’re about to say something but then remember the last training session you had with your division. You’re actually not so certain yourself. 

“(y/n) has exceeded all of my expectations.” he turns to you. “I couldn't have asked for a better officer to be in my platoon.” 

You search his face for a clue of him joking or waiting for a punchline. But his smile is sincere. You want to be moved by his response but you think he's probably just trying to make you look good in front of your family. 

Your cousins murmur their comments of approval among themselves. “Hey, vice captain, would you like something else to drink?” one of your cousins asks from further down the table. 

“Please, I’ll get my own drink. Don't trouble yourself.” he stands and turns to you. “Would you like anything?” 

You're still not quite sure what to make of all of this. A refill is not really a thought you're having. 

“(y/n) probably wants some of the cake we have at the table by the drinks.” someone else chimes in. 

“I can get that myself.” you do want the cake but having your superior serve you is too weird to handle. You start to get up from your chair when he interjects. 

“It's okay. I’m happy to. Enjoy your time with your family.” he says smiling then scooting past everyone towards the drink table.

“He’s nice.” “Yeah, I figured defense force officers were kinda meat heads, you know?” “He has real good manners.” “He's sitting so straight.” “I didn't know they made them like that anymore.” your cousins comment. 

One of them shoves your shoulder playfully. “He’s super cute!” she gestures to Soshiro speaking with your lively little cousin swinging a stick like a sword. “Why didn't you say you were inviting someone?” 

“I didn't.” you continue to watch him making sure nobody is being rude towards him. Who knows how this is going to affect your job if your family does something offensive or stupid. 

“He just showed up?” 

“Yeah. I mean I have to report where I’m going to be but I didn't invite anyone.” 

“He just wanted to show up?” another cousin asks. 

You nod. They give knowing looks to each other. 

“What?” you ask firmly. Who knows what mischievous things they're communicating with each other telepathically it seems. “Don't say anything stupid in front of him please.”

“Hey, we aren't gonna have you lose your job.”

“Does he do this a lot? Just show up to officers' houses unannounced?” your cousin who asked about inviting him wonders. She has a tone that you can tell is heading this conversation somewhere you don't want it to. 

You sigh irritated. “It’s not like that.” 

“Why not?” another cousin asks. 

Some of them are giggling now. They are enjoying this excruciating line of questions. 

“Because.” you say wanting this conversation to end before he comes back. 

“Are you not allowed to date superiors?” 

“No- I- well, I don't know.” You shake your head frustrated that they're leading you on the exact conversation you're trying to avoid. “It doesn't matter, okay! It’s not going to happen!” 

“Do you want it to?” someone further down the table asks. You had no idea the conversation had reached that far down. You can feel your face start to burn and you don't want to give them anymore ammo. It's time to make your escape before they realize your face is a giveaway. 

You stand up. “I’m gonna check on him.” you begin to walk away and some of them start to whistle a love song, giggle or whisper little comments. They definitely saw your face turn red. 

You get to Soshiro as he was about to head back to the table. He's holding your cake and his drink “You mind if I eat that somewhere else? It's getting stuffy at the table.” 

Soshiro smiles, not looking eager to return to his interrogation. “Sure. I’ll follow your lead.” 

“Let's go out to the sidewalk.” You both begin to walk towards the gate. You wish you could shrink your head into your body like a turtle. The looks you both are getting as you walk out is enough to make you want to disappear. 

You give a long exhale when you're both finally out the gate. You lean against the wall that borders your grandfathers home. The music and noise from the party faded considerably behind the brick. Soshiro hands you your food. 

“Thank you for getting this for me.” 

“Of course.” he takes a drink from his cup. 

“It's been such a whirlwind I didn't ask you why you're here.” you cut a smaller piece of cake to eat. 

“You did. Earlier. I just didn't get a chance to respond.” 

You stop chewing. “I did?” 

A smile grows on his face. “Yes. But I understand. I’m so sorry for showing up like this. I just needed to speak with you about last week.” 

“Last week?” 

He nods. A pained expression taking over his face. He places his cup down on the sidewalk. “(y/n),-” he faces you with a determined look. His voice is serious. You tense up not sure why he suddenly had to put his cup down for whatever he's about to do. For a moment you think hes going to kick your ass for having such a loud fucking family. He bows. “Please forgive me for my extremely rude behavior.” 

Your brain stops. “What?” is all you manage to squeak out. 

He rises up. He’s looking down but you can tell from his face that he means this. “Last week. I lashed out at you. It was uncalled for. I immediately regretted it after it happened.” 

You think for a second, still trying to catch up to the fact that Soshiro Hoshina just bowed to you. Then you remember. “Oh!” 

He gives you a look that says ‘Seriously? I’m trying to apologize and you don't even remember?’

“Sorry, it's just, well, this week has been so busy I kinda forgot about that. I mean until you showed up anyways.” you clear your throat. “I didn't expect you’d apologize for it. Much less show up here to do it.” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I shouldnt’ve’ shown up.” 

“No! Its fine that you did! It was just shocking.” 

He takes a deep breath and exhales. “I wanted to talk to you the next day but then I was told you were on break for a week. And, well, I didn't want to wait any longer. It was…” he trailed off before starting again. “It was botherin’ me too much. You looked real hurt so… I’m sorry.” 

A pause between you two follows and the only sounds are the nighttime insects and your family's music and laughter that echoes past the wall. Then it hits you. You're five hours away from Tokyo right now. Your vacation ends the day after tomorrow. He could have waited another day. He could have called. Even a text if he really wanted to apologize that way. But more importantly you never expected he’d apologize to begin with. It hurt and you were scared but you figured that was just part of the territory of being in the defense force. You get your commanding officers ire sometimes. 

“... I accept your apology.” You say looking at your half eaten cake suddenly too shy to face him.

He sighs in relief. “Good.” 

Another pause. 

“You came all this way to apologize?” you ask, looking at him. Searching his eyes. 

He looks at your eyes in return and doesn't respond for a moment. “Yeah.” he smiles. “Can I have some of that?” 

“Huh? Oh, yeah but I dont have another fork-” He steals your fork and takes a piece of the cake. 

He chews and swallows. “It's good.” 

You watch him chew. Stunned that he just did that. “Yes.” 

“Homemade?” 

“Yes.” 

“You like it a lot too, huh?” 

“Yes.” That's the only response you can say apparently. 

He chuckles then his voice drops when he speaks. “I have so much fun with you. I didn't want what happened to affect us.” 

You watch him not sure what to think right now so you say the first thing that comes to mind. “I have fun with you too.” You suck your lips into your mouth directly after saying that because never would you have imagined you'd have the bravery to say something like that to him. 

He laughs. “What's with that face?” 

You pretend not to know what he's talking about, raising an eyebrow still sucking on your lips. 

He laughs more and you try to hold your lips in but end up bursting out in a laugh too. It's so good to hear him laugh. It's so contagious. It always makes you smile without fail. You both go on until the laughing subsides on its own. You now remember what happened after the training session. 

“Can I ask you if something happened before the session that made you do that? I was afraid I did something to disappoint you.” 

His expression visibly shifts to a serious one as you say that. His eye brows furrow slightly like he's mad at you for saying that. “You could never disappoint me.” 

You once again are at a loss for words so you give a nod instead. 

He joins you leaning on the wall. He silently looks down at his shoes for a moment as if thinking of what to say before facing you. “I don't want to give you excuses.” 

You shake your head slowly. “Not an excuse. We were wondering if something had happened. You're not usually like that.” 

Soshiro looked hesitant to say anything. He seemed to look everywhere except back at you. He opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. “My family isn't like yours ya’ know.” 

There had always been whispers about the Hoshina family. Not very good ones. Soshiro also doesn't often volunteer information about himself. But maybe tonight he's making an exception because he feels guilty. 

“My brother called me and…” he sighs irritatedly and drags a hand across his face. "I'd rather not bore you with the details.” he says with a breathy half assed laugh. “It’s a nice night with your family. I dont wanna ruin that.”

He's uncomfortable and you can see it. It stings a little bit that he won't tell you. 

He picks up on changes in your facial expression as you look away. “Sorry. I know I just spent the whole evening with your family but…” he sighs. “It’s just a lot that you really don't need to worry about.” he’s trying to sound like he's doing you a favor. 

You give him a sad smile. You want to know. You want to know everything about him. “I understand.” You understand that he's your boss and there's always going to be an invisible boundary between the two of you because of that. Can't get too close. That's always it isn't it? You both can laugh, joke, he can show up to your family gathering unannounced, charm all of them, get you cake, but no. You can't get too close. “But I want you to know you don't have to keep it to yourself. I mean you tried that and look where you are now.” 

He snorts. “Yeah you’re right.” He looks at the top of the wall then the gate. “It's not such a bad place to be though.” A sudden wave of laughter comes from behind the wall. Your family's joy makes you smile. 

“Yeah I guess they aren't so bad.” You eat more of your cake. “But it's not always like this, you know.” He looks at you curiously. “I just want you to know families are complicated. But I'm sure you know that.” 

He nods knowingly. “Yeah. I get it.” He stretches and takes the fork from your hand, swiping the last piece of cake for himself before you can say anything. He picks up the cup and chugs down his drink. He grimaces “Yeah your uncle for sure put somethin’ in that.” You laugh. “Well I'm gonna head out.” He checks the time on his phone. “I’ll catch the last train to Tokyo if I leave 10 minutes ago.”

You start to panic. “Are you gonna be able to get home?” 

He shrugs and starts to walk away. “If anything I’ll stay at the nearest base.” He waves as he walks backwards. “Thank your family for me! They were great! I’ve never heard someone be asked if they were my (girlfriend/ boyfriend/ partner) sa’ many times and be so cool ‘bout it!” 

You blush. You become the shade of a ripe strawberry. The inside of a watermelon perhaps. “What!?” 

He chuckles. “I’ll see you back at base soon!” 

You watch him walk away casting long shadows by lamp posts as he passes them. You ask him in a whisper “Why didn't you just wait until I got back?” 

[pub-lius]

Hey, so recently I saw a post about the misogyny of hamilton, so I wanted to ask you if it was true. Not the part of misogyny (because in that time it was normal, I guess), but rather how much was? (does make sense?), did it affect the relationship with eliza or with her daughters?

Thankyu!!! (Muak)

hm okay so im not completely sure what you mean but i am going to do my darndest

So, in the time period which Hamilton was alive, which is the latter half of the 18th century, there definitely was a profound attitude of misogyny, but it was very different from what we know today. Most of our idea of sexism comes from the religious revivals of the 20th century (and people who know me know how i feel about the godforsaken 20th century when it comes to history). This is yk your typical idea of a housewife being at home, taking on the burdens of homemaking and child rearing and basically keeping everything together at home while the husband worked a stressful 9 to 5 and didn't do shit at home and weaponized incompetence and implicit biases and yadayada

This was not the case in the 18th century! 18th century gender roles are very different from what we're used to, and even more different than what the Victorians and Edwardians considered the norm. This is especially visible in Hamilton's relationship with women, so I'm quite excited to talk about this.

Firstly, I want to talk about the joker to my batman: Ron Chernow. A major theory he supports in his biography of Hamilton is the two sided nature of Hamilton's perception of women. He says that there is a clear distinction between two "types" of women in Hamilton's wife-- the good, Christian mistress of the house and the stupid, mentally unstable skank. These are his terms. I want to hit him in the head with a brick.

"Together, the two eldest [Schuyler] sisters formed a composite portrait of Hamilton's ideal woman, each appealing to a different facet of his personality. Eliza reflected Hamilton's earnest sense of purpose, determination, and moral rectitude, while Angelica exhibited his worldly side- the wit, charm, and vivacity that so delighted people in social intercourse." -Ron Chernow, Alexander Hamilton, page 133

Yeah, this is horseshit. It gets worse when he compares Elizabeth Hamilton and Maria Reynolds on page 367, but I'm not going to get started because I won't stop. And this isn't about him anyway.

Instead, I want to talk about WHY this is horseshit. First of all, even Alexander "thinks with the wrong head" Hamilton didn't have this fucked up mindset, because it is heavily based in 20th century evangelicalism that didn't even exist in Hamilton's world.

Yes, obviously there was religious attitudes that condemned certain actions from women, but this was not as intense as in later periods. In the 18th century, an upperclass woman, such as Elizabeth Hamilton, would be responsible for maintaining the household, but this meant being in charge of the servants rather than doing the work herself. The work she did do would be maintaining the finances and the family's reputation.

Reputation was everything in the 18th century, and this especially applied to women. Not only did they have to maintain their own reputations, but they had to raise their children to have the skills necessary to do the same, and often had to fill in for their husbands in this department if they held public office. It's very difficult to maintain your reputation if you're beating people with walking sticks in the Continental Congress.

When it came to lower and middle class women, their jobs weren't different in that they carried an equally important role in the family. They would be doing household chores just as well as their husband, and these weren't easy chores that made women "feeble". They very often took a lot of physical strength and endurance, and it wasn't considered unladylike for women to do "men's" chores while their husbands were away. This isn't to say that women in later eras didn't do the same, but it wasn't as publicly frowned upon.

Hamilton had a very unique perspective as he was witness to both sides of this coin. His mother, a single, working class mother would be juggling both the man and woman's role. I think it was really this background that allowed him to have a much more informed perspective on womanhood. He was one of the few men in this period that I've seen write from the perspective of a woman, specifically a grieving mother.

"For the sweet babe, my doting heart Did all a mother's fondness feel; Careful to act each tender part And guard from every threatening evil. But what alas! availed my care? The unrelenting hand of death, Regardless of a parent's prayer Has stopped my lovely infant's breath-" -Papers of Alexander Hamilton, volume 1, page 43.

Chernow attributes this to Hamilton's deeply empathetic nature, which is fair, however I think it also shows that he was able to understand a woman's experience specifically.

I say this because Hamilton does tell us a little bit about exactly what was expected of women in the time during Elizabeth's first pregnancy in a letter that is usually used to call him a sexist, but I think it's a little more complex than that. Here's the excerpt:

"You shall engage shortly to present me with a boy. You will ask me if a girl will not answer the purpose. By no means. I fear, with all the mothers charms, she may inherit the caprices of her father and then she will enslave, tantalize and plague one half [the] sex, out of pure regard to which I protest against a daughter. So far from extenuating your offence this would be an aggravation of it." -Alexander Hamilton to Elizabeth Hamilton, October 12, 1781

In this letter, Hamilton isn't telling Elizabeth that he wants a boy to inherit his fortune, to carry on his name, or the other reasons that were given by his contemporaries for preferring sons over daughters. He specifically states that his reasons are his fear that his traits will be passed onto his children, and that if its a daughter, she will be more discriminated against than his son because of her sex. Essentially, it was easier to be a gay son in the 18th century than a thot daughter. In that question, Hamilton would choose gay son because he knew that men were generally less criticized than women.

So, I'm not saying Hamilton wasn't sexist, because, by definition, he was. He was taught that women were fundamentally different than men, but he didn't look down on women for that, because that simply wasn't normal. You wouldn't be a gentleman if you looked down on a woman for being physically and psychologically different from a man, you'd be an asshole. While their interpretations of these differences don't align with what modern medicine has determined, they weren't the same as in the later eras in American history. Women were, most certainly, oppressed because of these perceived differences, but it was a different system of oppression than what typically defines our idea of sexism.

It's hard to say if it affected Hamilton's relationship with his wife and daughters, as there isn't any real written proof, but I imagine Hamilton's attitude specifically towards women did make their relationship different than other fathers, daughters, husbands, and wives of the time. We do know that Hamilton was a very hands on father who dedicated a lot of time and care towards his children, and he did not treat his daughters any differently than his sons. He put the same amount of energy into their education, though they weren't educated in the same thing, and he seemed to be equally close with all his children.

Hamilton and women is a very interesting topic, and it gets more complicated when it comes to Rachel Faucette and Maria Reynolds and those parallels, but that is a topic for another time. Good thing its women's history month! Hope this helped :)

[robespeeair]

A Serious™ Long Post

Back on June 6th, I made a bunch of pretty casual posts about writing a new musical based on the barricade part of Les Mis. To be honest, I didn’t take myself seriously in that moment because even if the music turned out ok, the libretto would almost certainly be a dumpster fire; I’m not a natural at poetry at all. But then I actually composed music for a show and it’s a whole thing now??? I’m wrapping up my rough draft right now.

The current title is Revolutions Are Not Built of Paving Stones, which is based on Enjolras’s “horizon that is visible from the top of the barricade” speech (which is a whole song in the show because how could I not?). It uses a cast of 10 people (every ami +Marius), and a undefined amount of national guardsmen. Everyone plays multiple characters, especially going into the second act, which deals with what happens after the barricade, but more on that later.

Instrumentation (for those who care) is piano, string quartet, two flutes, clarinet in Bb, bassoon, and a singular™ percussionist. This is really small for a pit band, but I’m pretty hellbent on having an actual ensemble when this hopefully gets performed next year at some point, so I kept it to a reachable size. As a whole, the musical is quite small. It’s probably about an hour long, but it’s dense, if that makes sense.

It’s really hard for me to know exactly what to write about a whole music, and I certainly have never finished a project this substantial until now, so I’m just gonna list things I think are cool about it:

I wrote a madrigal for the wedding scene, and I’ve never done fifth species counterpoint so hard in my life.

I always found the Le Cabuc interaction interesting, and there’s a musical number for that

Do you permit it? (Need I say more?)

Separate Jehan death scene and yes it is super sad(also, Jehan is played by the lead soprano, who also plays Cosette, Gavroche, and someone else I’m leaving as a surprise)

The “five less, one more” song slaps pretty hard imo

Marius sees ghosts, mostly in the second act, but also once in the first act (it’s his dad)

Lots of pants parts

I definitely have not included everything I ought to have in this post, but the basic idea of it this: i did a whole musical thingy and im gonna try my darndest to get it performed and recorded.

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

just suddenly remembered this one time i was sitting in my step-mom’s living room (because i didn’t have my own room there...in that big fucking house...) tapping away on my laptop and she goes “what are you doing” and i told her i was writing a screenplay, because that’s what i was doing, and she just said something like, “see this is why i always ask, you just never know” and she might have even like... turned to my dad and said that??? and that’s where the conversation ended??? and looking back on this im just

ok yes i am starting to put into words why i never wanted to share what i was doing with them, because like. she could have asked what it was about. or expressed some sort of encouragement or wonder that i was doing that. or continued the conversation in literally any way. but no, it was just this statement that basically translated to me as “haha, kids do the darndest things” and then just went back to watching tv

like. OKAY.JPG

[canella-blogs]

howdy!

hello my guys,, gals,, and non-binary pals!

my name is Canella,, and i wanted to make this text post to basically introduce myself!

without further ado,, let's get down to business (to defeat, the huns)! ;

as stated above,, my name is Canella, and this is my page! I am not new to tumblr- i have another account however that one is my personal account where i follow my friends and stuff,, so i wanted to make this account where i can hopefully talk more with you strangers!

im from the United States,, the south if you couldn't tell from the title,, with English as my only language (however im doing my diddly darndest to learn French as well).

i am into many many many different fandoms,, just a few examples (in no specific order) include;

supernatural

doctor who

sherlock

good omens

my hero academia

among many other shows and animes.

i absolutely adore making new friends,, so if you ever feel compelled to message me- go for it! im not really sure if anyone will even stumble upon my page,, but its worth a shot.

although i do find myself in many fandoms, you can see me posting about a variety of things in the future,, such as positive quotes and compliments,, dumb and funny jokes,, relatable blogs,, and albeit some fandom related content.

last but not least,, i will accept no!! exactly zero!! cyber bullying,, rudeness,, discrimination,, or basically anything disrespectful of another persons existence,, on my profile. everyone is safe and welcome here.

thank you so much for reading this if you stumble upon my profile! if you have any questions (nothing personal) about me or my profile,, comment or shoot me a message!!

canella,, out. *mic drop*

[malcomblue]

Calling Christian

His name is Christian. He has a dog named Damion. He is a baker. He has goals to be a surgeon. He is kind. Obviously smart. Incredibly cute. He was born in Arkansas. He's a city away and is making the effort today to come and see me. We spoke on the phone for 2 hours about what we like, how we grew up, who we've been with, our future goals, our personality traits. We basically complemented each other for 2 & 1/2 hours over the phone and Snapchat. He told me he feels a spark. A connection. A click. But he can't be with me because he is still in the closet. And more than likely will stay there. Everyone Will tell me, that I should avoid him and not fall for him because I'm only going to be heart broken because i will eventually want more than he can give me. But I am going to go on the date. Im gonna laugh. We're gonna make out. We're gonna feel each other's desire burn like wild fire. Life is too short for me to pass up a cute guy who wants to get to know me, which he does. I wont have sex with him though. That is a promise to myself. And now I guess you guys. If you're reading this. Not because I dont want to. I just don't want to have sex with him. And then he never sees me again. I'd rather be his friend. I hope we can make a friendship. And if we end up caring about each other... Then maybe we can have sex. I'd like to have sex with someone who cares about me for a change. I'm gonna try my darndest to have fun and not think about the fact that more than likely we won't be a couple. Do I hope? Of course. I literally just wrote about this earlier. So he is gonna pick me up, then we are going to the Japanese Tea Garden, because I've never been. Then maybe get coffee at a place he likes and wants me to try. Then maybe we will find a park and talk and get to know each other better. Then he said he'd like to walk around the mall. I'm a little worried about the mall because someone might see us and know right away that I'm gay. I'm hoping not. For His sake. And for the sake of our friendship. He is really sweet and I pray everything goes smoothly and to our favor. Am I expecting a love story to come out of this? No. Not at all. I just expect to have a great time with this really fucking cute guy. And then come home and tell you guys all about it. And maybe someday when I'm older I'll look back and read this blog entry and the one that follows and smile because I was young and in love with life and living. And I got to spend a day with a really cute guy who thinks im super attractive.

Well

Goodnight everyone.

Im excited.

Yours truly, - "Malcom Blue"

Snapchat: Amazingmat21

Instagram: malcom.blue

Twitter: @bluemalcom

3/11/2019

[acetechne]

Ringing in the new year with a ref I’ve been meaning to do 5ever. Hope to draw this gal lots, it’s just ironing out the bugs with repetition as with most of my underdrawn kiddos.

Hally is a collab with @quatschmachen​ and @randomoranges​ and started as a throwaway character for a fic but we’ve all grown a wee bit attached.

BASICS

Name: Halifax Human Name: [TBA] Founded: 1749 Sign: Cancer PHYSICAL

Body Type: Round. Will outlast you in the winter. Also pure rock hard MUSCLE, this girl can operate a cannon. (Height TBA- medium tall ish?) Hair: Auburn (red/brown). Curly/kinky. Usually worn down in pigtails? Eyes: Light hazel, blue splash. (Shoot the green i used looks blue will fix asap) Ethnicity: Black + British Isles heritage Other: Large burn scar (tbd)

PERSONAL

General: A hardy and cheerful seafaring girl who rarely acts her age. Hally avoids conflict at all costs, really, except when there’s money to be made (which is always). A notorious flirt with a spirited (pun intended) sense of humour. Intensely loyal to those she considers good friends, occasionally at the price of her own moral compass  Likes: tbdd   Dislikes: tbd

HISTORY

- To be Continued

- No seriously i do have notes but its 1 am on new years im tired

- Hali represents the regional municipality of Halifax as well as the historical former town/city. The other members of the HRM are her pals (maybe).

BIASED HAPO FACTS

- Sadly I have no first hand experience with Halifax- I have a bad tendency to fly right over the Atlantic provinces to visit the UK. My primary contact with Halifax is Living in Alberta where everyone’s come to work and also my dear dear friend Rhin.

- also i had to listen to barretts privateers on repeat for like a month and im sure one day i’ll end up broken on a halifax pier too

- Every Haligonian I have met has been absolutely Delightful.

- I have a fairly modest grasp on the broad strokes of NS history and Halifax by extension and like… this is a gal who’s entire economy has been privateer-ing and war profiteering and she’s doing her darndest to look beyond that, maybe by the end of this century she’ll get the hang of it!

- also polar opposite of my local history so by default fascinating- here we have an imperial center who can’t agriculture to save her life (but she can swipe snacks on occasion to share with her Real Friends in new england and Will drink you under the table). I live in the bit of the country that could have would have should have been important, was zillions of miles away from any americans for ages, and was incredibly happy to grow several small potatoes in those early days. 

- apparently lettuce in donairs is a no no, oops :x;;;;

[chaeunwoo-archive]

moonbin | astro

(done with @rockoaroundthechristmastree, @rockytheastroid​, @astrofireworks​, @jinwoosmile, @ongbins and @jakganim)

MASTERLIST LINK

1998 Jan 26

Cheongju son

Visual 4/6

How to recognise moonbean: smol upper lip, looks like a cat

JUST FUCKIN SHOOK US BY APPEARING WITH BLUE-GREY HAIR WHAT THE HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby: red, crescent moon

Was a child actor/model

liSTEN

BABY MOONBIN 

IS MY SHIT !!!!!!

Baby Binnie singing

GROWN UP BIN RECREATING IT

Baby Binnie doing the train song!!

GROWN UP BIN RECREATING THE TRAIN SONG

A full cutie / Baby Bin charming everyone  / Bin and Sua playing

Was also in a Samsung CF jesus christ what a cutie 

Appeared as Baby Yunho in DBSK’s Balloons

Bet you didn’t know he had a dance practice video too

I love embarrassing Bin videos I need a video of him reacting to this

More embarrassing videos he’s bringing sexy back y’all

Was also in Boys Over Flowers as baby F4

cute-ass nicknames

Resident “pupcat” for looking ‘chic’ when he’s straight faced and being energetic and happy and puppy-like when he smiles

문비글: moon beagle because he gets all excited i love him 

“YuNo Moonbin” because Baby Yunho in DBSK’s Balloons

“Jelly boy” because of his one line in Confession (“Hey baby 그 앨 잊어“ = “hey baby, forget about him”) that sounded like “hey baby 겔리줘” (hey baby, give me jelly)

콩 = bean

차은우 덕후 = Cha Eunwoo Maniac 

Listen he’s such a big Eunwoo stan 

#TeamSoap (Just so you know, arohas didn’t come up with the name ‘Binu’, they came up with it (”Team Soap”) themselves )

explained it by saying 빈 (Bin) + 우 (Woo) = 비누 (Soap)

Roommates

Picked each other in OK!Ready and have been living in the same room ever since

in the recent Night Night show they did Eunwoo said that if he could pick roommates again, he’d still pick Bin 

Used to call eunwoo (은우) “eu-noo” (으누) as a cute nickname 

“Eu-noo Eu-noo Cha-Eu-Noo!!”

Eunwoo saved Bin on his phone (predebut though, idk how accurate this is rn) as 달콩 (literally translates into moon bean) and fun fact coincidence or not you decide it’s also the second half of 알콩달콩 (lovey dovey) :’) 

Jokes aside he’s really Eunwoo’s best friend he’s Eunwoo’s hypeman 

Claims Eunwoo is the most beautiful creature on earth

“Is he really human? How can someone that looks like him exist?”

Eunwoo thinks Bin is the most handsome I love supportive friends ;u;

Bin to Sanha during the 600 day broadcast: did i say you can take the meat

Also Bin: feeds Eunwoo “be careful it’s hot”

문초딩: basically saying he has a mind of a nine year old i’m crying i bet he giggles at dick jokes 

쿨빈: “cool bin” i mean he’s cool sometimes i guess,,,,,, a nerd, 

Also recently pointed out during ASC as the sexiest member in astro so

빈스틸러: “bin stealer” - basically (sf9 taeyang voice) scene steAlerRr 

정수리감별사: he can distinguish people by smelling the top of their heads bless him 

Has a ridiculously refined sense of olfaction - can literally smell every member apart from one another 

Literally suffers every time he’s asked to do this by mcs; has done it on Weekly Idol and Immigration and the latest Special Sunday

문밥: mOON RICE THE CUTEST NICKNAME because he loves to eat bless his soul

loves babies to no end

But so does the whole of astro so

can run real fuckin fast

Got a silver medal in ISAC, got beat out by his buddy Woosung form Snuper only because Woosung’s chest touched the ribbon 0.02 seconds before bless

plays the piano!

Was close to ikon’s Chanwoo and sf9’s Chani and also childhood friends with gfriend’s SinB

THE CUTEST LISTEN he was Chani’s OG “Bin hyung” 

Once he met Moonbin in the airport and yelled, “BIN HYUNG!!” and Youngbin got so bitter that Chani called Moonbin “bin hyung” he went on sf9’s vlive a month afterwards to complain and said it was a stab to his heart asjdlhf I love them

Also friends with Seungkwan and Vernon from SVT :’)

LOVES EATING I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 

Joined the fantz and “Right since the start I told the company that I hope they don’t interfere when it comes to food.” this bitch im rly cryign ilove him

Steals MJ’s food, and also probably everyone else’s

Videos of him eating is my passion 

Apparently used to make pancakes really often predebut with Astro :’)

Claims to not really like bread but has an entire vlive of him eating bread with rocko

Apparently hates red bean, egg yolks and tofu and chocolate and fish 

Still tried to drink the chocolate drink jinjin(?) won from nimdle even though he hates chocolate what is this boy doing

Actually eats so much omg my fave Bin concept is Bin eating 

Literally gets fed by EVERYONE ALL THE TIME (peep nimdle broadcast and also his actual CEO getting their manager to buy him [and Eunwoo] food every 10 flippin minutes)

Gets a free pass to do anything anywhere on a vlive??? Gets meat to hold a BBQ party 

Holds his own muk-bang broadcasts, on days where he “can’t eat much” still eats for one meal 2 servings of kbbq, a bowl of rice, a large bowl of stew and finishes off with a large bowl of naengmyeon. son, 

sleeps a lot

Literally though sanha and jinjin posted a twitter video of them trying to wake bin up it doesn’t work it apparently only works when eunwoo gets him to wake up

Sleeps through sanha and jinjin prodding him but wakes up when eunwoo starts talking in a vlive

Bin said in the harper’s bazaar interview that he doesn’t wake up when the manager calls him to get up but his eyes naturally open when he hears Eunwoo sighing (creds to @astrotranslations)

Bin’s mom even sent in a concern to hello counsellor bc he wouldn’t stop sleeping and couldn’t wake up so really… eunwoo = magic?

Sister is YG trainee Moon Su-Ah

Not sure if she’s still in that disgusting man’s dungeon or if she’s switched companies, pls pray 4 her 

She’s a year younger than him and appeared on Unpretty Rapstar

Once Bin went on in the audience wow he was so handsome in that episode bless up

Cannot deal with doing aegyo for the life of him, but is actually super duper naturally adorable

KNOWS he’s cute, in his friggin line play profile he says he’s ASTRO’s cutie so there’s that

Tried to out-aegyo himself once what a fuckin cutie

Loves the dinosaur claw

Oddly talented at using the claw machine even though he said he was horrible but Hyuksoo called him out on it

Showed us a forehead Once during the Growl collab stage with KNK and Snuper (bless their souls pls support the Holy Trinity I’m not saying this collab stage turned me into a Moonbin/Sangil stan but it 100% did)

SWEATER PAWS

His dedication to the sweater paws is incredible 

Soft voice, cute voice, slightly grainy

It’s so distinctive you can tell it’s his voice during songs 

Says dumb things sometimes 

“MY NAME IS MOONBEAN”

“I ANOTHER GIRL LIKE”

”YOU GO HOME”

Once upon a time, a barista - he attempted to make a heart in a latte but made a carrot lookin thing instead (but he tried his darndest)

For context he worked in the fantagio cafe when he was a trainee to make pocket money and to get to interact with people 

Was then asked to make a latte heart but failed asjdhflaskj he’s so pure, Pls tell him it looks like a heart ;; all he wants is validation

Makes cute high pitched squealing noises when laughing/embarrassed

Apparently had Crazy Sexy Cool written for him as a solo track djfaslhdkjfahlsdkf a fullass blessing 

Mouth corners curve up up up and into his cheeks when he smiles his eyes disappear it’s the cutest thing my heart stops every single time 

Stops my heart when he’s not smiling too 

Would do anything to see him smile 

GRUMPY AS HECK WHEN HE WAKES UP 

Pouts immediately it’s so cute my heart is weak he’s exactly like a cat 

Trained the longest out of all of ASTRO, at least under Fantagio

Is called “ancient” in some DDOCA hashtags because he and rocko trained under fantagio for 7 years

Is the longest running member of the Fantagio fam, not counting the CEO

Apparently called Manager Moon what a pure bean 

Listen we were just talking about this the other day but in 40 years we’re going to wonder about what happened to astro then we’ll google fantagio and something will pop up and it’ll say something like “Moonbin, previously part of idol group Astro, now CEO of Fantagio”

Is a BTS stan smdh 

Knows the choreo to literally all of BTS’s songs, including I Need U and DNA smdh 

Introduced to Jungkook by Seungjun (now KNK, previously a Bighit trainee) 

Got a (literal) shout out too? At Gayo Daejun 

Made friends with him and exchanged contact info and has been messaging him :’)

A GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER

Took some predebut photos and also took pictures for the spring up and summer vibes PCs !!! 

Photographer name: 달콩작가 (moon bean photographer) :’)

[thesymski]

by putting her in the same level of isolation as the “science jerks” would have? mmmmm no, sorry, being “protective” isn’t an excuse to take another year of this girl’s life from her.

and let’s not forget uhhhh she has Actually Terrifying Superpowers so when he, a person she trusted, put her right back in isolation after she finally had a taste of what friends were like???? he literally was just trying his Darndest to make a supervillain at that point it wasn’t just el he was endangering, it was everyone.

and with “halfway happy” he completely disregarded her real reason for wanting to go trick-or-treating. you know it wasn’t about the candy, i know it wasn’t about the candy, but most importantly, jim knew it was zero percent about the candy, but acted as if he were compromising by bringing her some candy, when he got 100% his way and she got 0% hers.

and when he took away the tv, that showed what he thought of it. the tv was her only activity, this thread of connection to the outside world. that was the only social life she could have that he deemed safe. and he thought fit to take it away as a punishment. that shows he thinks of that as a privilege, a gift he gave her, instead of a substitute for a literal basic human need, and it doesn’t matter that he was angry or whatever, he still thought that was something he could take away.

so yeah uhhh a lot of scenes with the two of them read similar to rapunzel and mother gothel and like i don’t care that it was “for her protection” there’s a million better ways to do it and i stand by my “jim hopper sucks”

also like. im giving him the benefit of the doubt on this one and assuming. this was actually supposed to be a good hiding spot but uhhhhh,,, , if i were looking for someone on the run, a nearby cabin in the woods that hasn't been used in years that suddenly has the owner going every day and bringing food to would be one of my first places to check, so it's not like he was helping her be super inconspicuous and this is what made her safe, but again, im forgiving that count.

[astralnymphh]

so I do some writing for fun and stuff, but yours is so good, like how do you write so DELICIOUSLY. Cause sometimes I feel like posting it but I don’t cause I overthink

<333

thank you <<3 honestly im a mf highschool dropout with a long–standing passion for writing and poetry so this means a lot 2 me💗💗 but if u want some real tips..

only write when u feel inspired, never force urself to write!! Ur pieces will FEEL very well done if u just go with the flow, that's what I do!!

creativity over rules/complicated words anyday. if u can explain something in the utmost otherworldly way then that beats trying to sound smart or wordy, if u get my gist. my jizz. 🤍

watch TV or read books, listen to how dialogue is structured, and just study the sentence formats in certain pieces. obviously not copying but taking note and twisting it/applying it ur own writings. also music. music helps a lot.

try ur darndest to visualize ur scenes step by step atom by damn atom. what is ur character doing? how are they doing it? how do they move their hands?? slowly? hesitantly? are they handling an object?? whats the texture similar to? these r very basic but like I visualize in detail saur..

when ur writing, read it like a storyteller– with accents and pitches that match the emotion of each line. I read my shit like a narrorator in a movie 🤣🤣 helps it feel real

also I use word hippo as my thesaurus. always have that on hand if I'm stumped or forgot a word lolll

hope this helped 💗💗 ur works will age finely with time and practice. overthinking is normal so don't worry bout that either, take ur time!

[a-spec-tacular]

(ahahaah so im not great at drawing people but im doing my darndest ok) so this is Meira, and she is the champion of the light chosen to combat the all-consuming darkness that threatens everything. People have powers in this world, and light powers basically mean you’re the chosen one, which is something she’s always been pretty indifferent toward, which is kinda funny cause she’s pretty much the most powerful being in the world, rivaled only by the literal embodiment of darkness (a woman named Mideva). She’s a demiromantic asexual individual and she ends up with her best friend (who’s named Chelsea and has wings and is an a g g r e s s i v e lesbian)

ihopeyoulikeitiwasreallynervoustosubmitthisandimreallyemotionallyinvestedinthisstorythatillprobablyneverwrite

[dateamonster]

17, 19 and 57 of your current fav oc? (sorry I'm still learning who everyone is :'''>)

hm hmm who IS my current fav? im kinda tryin to develop some new ones (eudora and bo) so i think ill do those but theyre kinda goofy funsy characters so dont expect any Deep Lore lol

also im doin both because theyre a pair they come as a set thats just the way

Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?

bo is naturally chummy and tends to pick up new friends wherever she goes, but her best friend is this funky drifter who lives on a boardwalk over a mire. rarely wears clothes without holes in them or a shirt. a chaotic good force. havent 100% settled on a name for them. looks kinda like this by my reckoning (forgive the messy doodle below)

bo likes them because even though theyre kinda.. not so bright, theyre a lovable goofball who always does their darndest and is always willing to back them up however they can.

eudora on the other hand doesnt really get out that much because of her strict creator/father and doesnt really know how to socialize with humans much yet

What does their relationship with their family look like? Are they close? Distant? Ect.

bo isnt close with her family at all and pretty much struck out on her own the first chance she got. they didnt really approve of her ambitious aspirations or her general Style, but she still kinda misses them sometimes even though she really cant stand to be back with them.

eudora lives with her father, an inventor who created her (shes a robot in case u havent got that yet somehow) to learn from him and eventually take over his work someday. hes a good guy despite the fact that he didnt really count on his creation gaining such complete sentience and being more of a daughter than a robotic protege, but hes better with machines than people and comes off overly strict and protective of eudora. shes very important to him as more than just his invention, but hes not very good at showing it.

What makes them standout among others?

bo is a fuckin bombastic little showboat. her two biggest and probably fav qualities about herself is that shes a snappy dresser and she loves throwing herself into whatever new adventure is at hand. she’s basically impossible to ignore.

eudora.. is a robot. i mean that stands out. also lowkey kind of a genius and cute as hell. she makes an impression for sure.

[transient-tutor]

DEREK: -is jake hanging out in the infirmary right now? because the dad-in-law is stopping by. it's not unusual, he's been coming and going the past few days to see dirk but tonight he's here for jake. he knocks on the door to get his attention before just letting himself in.- Yo Jake.

JAKE: -MOST DEFINITELY HANGING OUT IN THE INFIRMARY. Jake is taking an uneasy doze in one of the visitor cots a small distance aways from the comatose patient room. Jake didn't want to be a cumbersome presence to any medical staff that might come in and check on Dirk's vitals from time to time. Plus, just sitting in there was making him incredibly sad.- 

JAKE: -At the sound of Derek's voice, Jake lifts his head up to squint. Feeling for his glasses and starting to roll to sit. Abeit with difficulty. The weariness wouldn't shake off his bones.- Derek? 

JAKE: Youre here? -blinks and sets gaze on his father-in-law, worried all over again.- Something the matter? Is it dirk?

DEREK: -ambles over, shaking his head and waving a bandaged hand in dismissal.- Dont worry. Nothins up. 

DEREK: -plops to take a seat beside him on the cot.- I stopped by to see you.

JAKE: -shoulders sag in relief and he sighs. The biggest dog sigh of them all. Eyeballs the bandaged hand.- Get into a scrum?

DEREK: -holds up his hand and sighs at it.- Yeah with a wall. 

DEREK: It was a lil one sided.

JAKE: Oh well... 

JAKE: Happens to the best of us. -And it does! Though Jake typically fought anything but a wall.- 

JAKE: Youre here at least... having it checked and what not. 

JAKE: Sos the responsibility. -rubs at his neck, making a bit of a face.- Bluh... 

JAKE: Sorry derek. Im... 

JAKE: A few gumptions short of a decent conversation. :(

DEREK: -claps a hand onto jake's shoulder and gives him a sympathetic pat.- No worries. Didnt really come here to conversate anyhow. 

DEREK: Sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep but I wanted to get you outta here for a lil while.

JAKE: Oh uh... -It dawns on him that he's hardly spent any "family" time with Derek. As most affairs they cross paths in were in the company of other people. Also before that, Jake got entirely distracted by dating his son.- At this time of night? 

JAKE: Where would we go? -He asks this question but he lives the married family life, Derek. Understand him.-

DEREK: -he gets it. he's been there. but he also adamantly refuses to grow up in many regards, so the world remains his oyster.- Anywhere. 

DEREK: Life aint come to a screeching halt outside. If anything its bustling more than it has in who knows how long. 

DEREK: Figured we could hop in that jeep of yours and see whats goin down out there. You up to it?

JAKE: Well its not but... -looks onward, probably in the direction Dirk's room is. Whines internally. Whines eternally.-

DEREK: -sighs through his nose. yeah, he gets that too.- Just to take our minds off things for a lil while. 

DEREK: Itll be fun. Come on. -he's not above peer pressuring you, jake.-

JAKE: -It's easier to fold when Jake imagines that Derek is telling him to go, rather than suggesting they do.- Oh... 

JAKE: Alright.. 

JAKE: But lets not be long. -pries himself off the bed, again. Reluctantly.-

DEREK: -claps him on the back before hopping to his feet again.- Thats the spirit. 

DEREK: -takes the liberty of leading the way out the door. he doesn't really seem to be waiting around for him to catch up.-

JAKE: -Well that's fine... Jake knows where the Jeep is parked and is also the only one present with a key for it. He takes his time texting his friends in the infirmary about where he's heading off to. He meets up with Derek in the cargo bay.- Ill be frank... 

JAKE: I havent thought to set foot outside since... 

JAKE: My imprisonment i suppose.

DEREK: Thats reasonable. 

DEREK: Cant say Ive had much need to. -leans on the jeep nonchalantly. he wants to drive it... but he will have to ask for the keys. use your words, derek.- But I hear its safer out there. People just rebuildin their lives. 

DEREK: And thats cool. -holds out his hand.- Anyway gimme your keys to this thing. -he did it.-

JAKE: -There's a whole second Jake is reluctant to... before he passes them to Derek.- 

JAKE: ... 

JAKE: This was our wedding gift. -blurts. He can't help it. The associations are still there.- :(

DEREK: -snatches them up, then turns towards the vehicle.- ... Yeah. -HE BETTER NOT CRASH IT THEN. he's been known to do this with cars that don't belong to him.- 

DEREK: -gets into the driver's side.- Its a good one. John got it for you right?

JAKE: -climbs in and sits in the passenger side. The sad faces intensify.- Yes. :C

DEREK: -damn, this is gonna be harder than he thought. probably not gonna be the wild night he was hoping for, but he can improvise.- 

DEREK: -produces a six pack of booze from his sylladex and holds them out to him.- Have one. -yes, he's telling him to do this again.-

JAKE: Wh... 

JAKE: -suddenly taking booze in his lap.- Were not driving under any influences are we?

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST.- Im not gonna. -for now-

JAKE: I think id have to stop you if we were sir! Family statuses aside. -HUFFS.-

DEREK: -smirks a little at him as he starts up the jeep.- Good to know. 

DEREK: But I insist. You have at it. 

DEREK: -and with that he TAKES OFF. the ship is landed somewhere out in the wilderness, but not too far from the minneapolis area still. plenty of municipalities to check out, but instead derek is taking a scenic route.-

JAKE: -dont mind if he rolls down the window. He likes the feel of the wind in his hair and especially his mustache.- Well... 

JAKE: I watch plenty of television and im sure theres a law some place that reads there cant be open beverages in a moving vehicle! 

JAKE: So im sure wherever were going it can wait. -sets the boozes down at his feet. That's that.-

DEREK: Oh come on its basically lawless out here. 

 DEREK: Man youre a real goodie two shoes. -says so with a good natured snicker. he's just trying to loosen him up... what a shame it's failing. maybe it's not in the cards. he pauses, hesitant to say what he's thinking but he's derek so he'll say it anyhow.- 

DEREK: You must keep Dirk in line then huh?

JAKE: Shucks i wouldnt go that far. -feeling his face flushing in color. Absently, Jake fiddles with the ring on his finger.- Its just... 

JAKE: Second nature i suppose? Thinking and... 

JAKE: Doing my darndest to plan ahead. -he trails off. Feeling sad all over again.- But you dont want to hear this. We um. 

JAKE: Ought to focus ahead and all. Coming all this way.

DEREK: -glances at him- Well the plan was to take it easy. Sure. 

DEREK: But now I feel like talking about him too. 

DEREK: Its nice hearin this stuff. -sobers up rather suddenly.- 

DEREK: You know were not as close as Id like to be. Me and him. 

DEREK: Guess I can kinda live vicariously through all yall that are when you talk about that sorta thing. What all is goin on in your day to day. Shit like that.

JAKE: Why not? 

JAKE: The lack of closeness i mean.

DEREK: Well... -drums fingers on the steering wheel.- He dont like me too much. 

DEREK: Guess weve been working on that but its slow going. 

DEREK: I cant blame him anyways.

JAKE: Right... -If it helped Derek any, Jake had no reason to have hard feelings about him.- I cant imagine why. My impressions always been that youre as swell a fella as it gets! 

JAKE: Whats there more to say about it? -But no really, he's curious.-

DEREK: -goes quiet for a moment but it's fine, he just scoffs.- People tell me there aint nothin left to say anymore. 

DEREK: But I wasnt always a swell fella.

JAKE: Oh... -Truth be told, he had a hard time picturing anyone as totally a bad person. Jake glances at him, a glimmer of optimism for his father-in-law.- Its a dog eat dog world im told... 

JAKE: Some folks do whats best they think is needed for survival. -looks away then, watching the passing scenery. So dark out...- I know its true for me.

DEREK: That dont always make it right. 

DEREK: But that aint somethin you gotta worry about. Youre an indisputably good guy. 

DEREK: -decides to make a turn down some dirt road.- And a great dad.

JAKE: Good... golly. Gulp.  -if it's Derek's intention to make Jake blush again, it's working. Too much positivity in one sitting, his eyes are starting to water. Jake scrubs his face with the back of one hand. There they go, down some dirt road.-

DEREK: -IT ISNT EXACTLY, but he is making extra effort to be sincere with jake.- ... -glances at him.- 

DEREK: Its true. 

DEREK: Times like these really make or break a man. 

DEREK: ... And Ill be real with you it is shit like this which made me a bad guy. I let that happen. 

DEREK: Cuz I thought I had to do it alone. 

DEREK: -drums fingers on the steering wheel.- Just remember youre not alone alright?

JAKE: I know it. Its not... 

JAKE: Me im torn all over for. -swallows hard as it turns out his attempt to curb the water works failed. Jake sits there with tears dripping.-

DEREK: -frowns at the road ahead of him. he's not the best at expressing his sympathy, not always, but it's a little easier when some of that pain is shared. he reaches over to grip at jake's shoulder for a moment.- Yeah. I get it.

JAKE: -the simple gesture of squeezing his shoulder has Jake's heart wrenching even more. The most he can do is wring out a handkerchief to blow his nose into. Jake English doesn't go anywhere without it.-

DEREK: -this poor kid... he can't believe he carries around a handkerchief though. he clears his throat to suppress a chuckle about it and retracts his hand to place both back on the wheel.- 

DEREK: I dont wanna make promises that itll be alright but... Youve got me and Riley and Dave and the whole goddamn clan to make shit easier where we can.

JAKE: -sniffles again and focuses on folding the hankerchief away. He'll have to wash this later.- Oh i know i... 

JAKE: ... 

JAKE: I feel just awful... thinking to ask when i cant even be fucking bothered to hold my own. -seems to be telling himself this more than Derek.- Ive held worse. Ive... endured worse. 

JAKE: And so has everyone else. Its... -rests his elbow just outside the window, looking out again.- Magnanimously stupid of me. I shouldnt ask more of everyone.

DEREK: -brows knit as a familiar kind of pain wrenches at his insides. how does he even begin to explain how well he understands?- 

DEREK: I know. 

DEREK: When you wanna keep it together so nobody else has gotta add you to their long list of troubles. 

DEREK: Even when you feel like youre fallin apart. 

DEREK: Its frustratin. 

DEREK: Like fuck. You should be able to handle this. 

DEREK: You got to. -grips the steering wheel tight, but when he notices they've arrived at their impromptu destination, he loosens his hold and slows the vehicle to a stop next to one of the many lakes around here.- 

DEREK: -turns to look at jake.- Youre a strong person Jake. 

DEREK: I know you got this. 

DEREK: But I aint offerin my help cuz I think you need it. 

DEREK: Im doin it cuz youre family.