#basically childe's whale isn't a whale

[blood-orange-juice]

I can't translate this.

[dykeboyy]

4.0 spoilers //

also childe was so fucking funny in the archon quest,, he:

trauma dumped to traveler about his experience in an abyss and was like "oh yeah and one time i saw a giant whale in my sleep, isn't that crazy?"

tossed them his malfunctioning vision and basically said "here hold that lol"

got convicted for seemingly no reason and was announced guilty

got slamdunked by neuvillette in the middle of his cool sequence.

all while doing absolutely jack shit prior to him getting put on trial

[gold-rhine]

i wanted to talk about neuvi's expressions, bc i thought about it in depth while writing him (and other characters perception of him). he's canonically not very expressive, but he's not "stoic" in human kind of sense, i.e. he's not suppressing his emotions on purpose.

instead, it's bc dragon expressions don't look like human ones. like, all of us who ever had pets know that their faces are expressive, you can read their mood by eyes and eyebrows and mouth, but the emotion will not look exactly like it would on a human. like, happy cats will make their lil :3 face, but if you just put it on human mouth, it wouldn't be :D, it'd be just a tiny smile.

and neuvi is not a cat, he's a plesiosaur dragon, so he has even less visible facial expressions. think about it as like. he's a giant lizard whose face is being motion-captured like when they shoot actors for cgi characters, and then these lizard expressions are used to animate a human face. to human its gonna look like barely micro-expressions, no matter how emotional the lizard is. and a lot of human expressions like blushing just don't exist. embarrassed and awkward neuvi still gonna have intimidating resting bitch face >:|, he's just gonna be rambling out loud.

so, neuvi's expressions guide. cw: suicide mention (focalors)

default one, resting bitch face, chin up, mouth slightly downturn, brows on the verge of furrowed, looks vaguely mad and judgemental, but actually isn't. kinda >:|

actually confrontational, head lowered, eyes narrowed, brows actually furrowed, lips tighter, pictures from: stopping primordial sea(first 2), shady at childe, fighting the whale

deeply sad, mouth basically as on neutral, slightly downturn, eyes narrowed, but brows aren't furrowed (i.e. not in >: position), picturted: focalors is telling him she's gonna kill herself and focalors just killed herself

absolutely shocked: what would look like neutral on someone else, eyes slightly widened, brows in closest position to raised, pictured: focalors is killing herself right this moment in front of him

neuvi smiling, in good mood, tiiiny bit upturned mouth, relaxed brows and eyes, pictured: melusine POV and water tasting

tldr, when you want to portray neuvi having emotions, think "what would that emotion look like on a lizard's face". if lizard can't very well express that emotion by face alone, neuvi also can't.

[fatkish]

Hello, can I request some inner child HCs featuring Gang Orca? Where he saves a kid who has a quirk that makes them appear frightening, like, they turn into a monster when their adrenaline spikes and/or they get emotionally distressed. They were abandoned by parents who couldn't deal with the child's "outbursts", had a panic attack, and turned into the monster form. Heroes are called in to fight what appears to be a villain threatening civilians (actually just a child in a large, frightening body who is struggling to regulate their emotions). Orca realizes what's up and stops other heroes from attacking before he calms the kid down.

Inspired by how I'm haunted by the fact that Orca is on the heroes that look like villains list and is secretly upset that kids find his appearance scary. Let him adopt one with similar struggles who isn't scared of him!

Okay so I’m thinking that the reader would be similar to The Hulk as where the child will unintentionally transform after a certain amount of adrenaline is in their system and I’m thinking they’d be a buffer and more muscular version of RWBY’s Grimm Hound

Basically it’s got super intelligence and can even grow wings but with Hulk’s strength. That’s the idea.

Gang Orca x Child Reader:

Monstrous transformation

It was a disaster. Carnage and wreckage everywhere. You had been living on the streets since your drunken father kicked you out for being a monster. You had a hard time dealing with your quirk. You knew it was some kind of transformation quirk, but you had yet to fully transform. Until you did. You had been minding your own business walking down an alleyway towards where you had been sleeping. You hadn’t eaten much in the last few days and you hadn’t slept well. All of this was too much for your child brain so you broke down. You had a panic attack.

As you sat clutching at your head you didn’t notice how you seemingly grew and changed. Your bones shifted and realigned, muscles grew and redeveloped, you grew shard claws and fans as you turned into a beast. So caught up in your emotions, you were startled by a passerby who screamed at the sight of you. You then lost it. As something primal decided to act on the rage and pain you felt and built up over the years.

A hulking monstrous bear, wolf, human hybrid thing that looked like it was born from nightmares tore out of the alleyway past the innocent man and into the street where traffic pulled to a stop as people began to scream at the terrifying creature. The creature began to destroy its surroundings and cut cars in half, throwing them everywhere, damaging buildings as it wrecked everything and people scurried away in fright.

Heroes were called in to deal with this supposed villain. Amount the heroes was Gang Orca. As the creature threw heroes out of the way and tore through them it dodged their attacks and took heroes down. It wasn’t until Gang Orca used his sonic attack on the creature that it finally seemed affected and halted as it shook its head. Your head was splitting as the ringing got worse. It managed to snap you out of whatever was happening to you. As you decreased in size and eventually became your normal self, you fainted. Seeing that it was actually a child, Gang Orca quickly realized that what happened was most likely unintentional and was the result of a powerful quirk that got out of control for a child.

He took the child to a hospital where the police informed him about the child’s living condition and situation. When he thought about how everyone was scared of you, even your own father, he decided to take you in. When you wake up you start to panic as you’re in an unfamiliar place. Gang Orca hears this and enters your room and tries to calm you down. Upon seeing the Orca hero the first thought that comes to your mind, comes out of your mouth.

“Can you talk to whales?”

You look up at him with that childish curiosity and wonder. He can’t help but smile seeing that a kid isn’t actually afraid of him for once. He chuckles and pulls a chair up to your bed and sits down at your bedside.

“I don’t think I can, but I’ve never really tried.”

“Do killer whales like you and think you’re one of them? Oh, do you eat seal meat? Are seals scared of you? oh oh, do sharks swim away from you cause they think you’re an Orca? Would a pod of Orcas accept you as one of them? How fast can you swim? Do you like cold water or warm water better? Can you breathe under water like a whale? Who would-“

Gang Orca just laughed a deep belly laugh at your onslaught of questions. He even slapped his knee in delight as he tried to rein in his laughter. He smiled at you as you tilted your head in curiosity, not able to understand what was so funny.

“Alright, I’ll answer your questions one at a time. But after I do that, do you think you we could talk about you a bit and that quirk of yours?”

“Um… sure. But my questions come first okay”

“Okay. Well first, I’ve never met any killer whales but I guess maybe I should. I don’t eat seal meat, I eat normal food like beef and pork and yes, I’d probably assume that seals are afraid of me. I’ve never been close enough to a shark to tell if they’re afraid of me. I think I’d have to find a pod of Orcas to see if they’d accept me but I doubt they would. I can swim pretty fast, at least faster than average. I don’t really have a preference on water temperature but I guess I’d have to say cold. And as for breathing like a whale, I do have a blowhole, whales don’t have gills since they’re not fish so they breathe air like you and me.”

“Wow, you’re so cool”

“Why thank you”

“Can I be as strong as you someday?”

“Well actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. How would you feel about coming to live with me and having me help you with that quirk of yours? I’d be your new legal guardian and I’ll take care of you and help you with everything. How’s that sound”

“Does that mean no more sleeping on the ground outside?”

“Yeah, we’ll go and get you a nice soft bed and we can even decorate your room however you want.”

“Can I have glow in the dark stars on the ceiling? And a pet bat?”

“Yes to the stars but I’m afraid bats aren’t the best pets but we can probably talk about some other kind of pet once we get a better understanding of your quirk. You wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt an animal.”

“I guess that’s true. I’m kinda tired. Will you stay here?”

Gang Orca smiled as you yawned and looked at him with tired eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll be here when you wake up”

“Okay, goodnight”

“Goodnight”

[cleverthylacine]

Just watched Ep 1 of Earthspark S2. And I'm furious.

Don't read this if you don't want spoilers. Or if you think the showrunners can still do no wrong, and are unprepared for the level of Incandescent Fury of which I am capable. But if you DO have spoilers for the whole season and understand my particular vibe, PLEASE read this and reblog with answers (but use the cut for the sake of my followers)...

Reasons why I'm mad:

A year goes by in which all of the stuff I was actually interested in presumably happened: dealing with GHOST, the Decepticons and Autobots cooperating, and also, Mo and Robby getting cool mech suits.

Then for no reason other than "Decepticons huh" the Decepticons apparently forgot their alliance, turned on Our Designated Good Guys (tm) and just randomly started trying to conquer and/or kill everything again. Or were they screwed over, yet again? I really hope so, not because I want them to suffer but because there needs to be a freaking reason why they turn on other Cybertronians when they are stuck on Earth. But I don't have a good feeling about it given the contemptuous attitudes displayed by Bee (as usual, because ES Bee is a fucking asshole) and Robby (disappointing, he wasn't like that before).

And we never did get to find out what the fuck was up with GHOST or why the Decepticons were all in jail (and no, "Decepticons huh" is not an acceptable reason--they have every reason to hate us.)

Breakdown is a terrible parent for no reason? BREAKDOWN?

The Chaos Terrans thing gives me the same willies that the Orcs in Tolkien (I am not a Tolkien fan) used to do. I am not comfortable with the eugenicist/ableist notion that people can be born corrupt and innately evil, especially not if it has something to do with HOW they were born.

Soooo... if you've finished the season (I know you've been posting a bit about it) is there any reason for me to continue?

Reasons I would continue:

Ravage continues to be basically the same Ravage I write, only much smaller.

RavWave (as a ship, not just platonic interaction, mostly because I would watch anything for that no matter how messed up)

Explanation that there actually is a reason why the Cons turned on everyone, and what that reason is. Did they want to put them back in jail? Did they want them to do forced labour? Did Megatron start whaling on Starscream again? I note Tara isn't around Con HQ, what does Tara know?

Quints are interesting and not just scary (the Quints in Cyberverse scared me more than many adult horror movie villains did, BUT they are also just kinda evil and mean and we have no idea why, which would not have been particularly interesting at all except for the fun of watching Hot Rod and Soundwave become the faction leaders while OP and Megatron were unable to be)

Chaos Terrans are not innately bad or do not need some mystical power of nuclear heteronormative family to make them good

The Decepticons get something out of the ending other than screwed

We find out more about Dot and Megs

Some Cons are good parents

More Tarantulas and Nightshade content

Hashtag continues to have a relationship with Starscream that affects the plot as it develops

We are actually told what happened during the year they missed

Reasons I would not continue:

Cons are just bad because cons are bad.

Ravage is Soundwave's daughter or pet or in some other way not actually a grown-ass adult Decepticon officer, making Soundwave a father who raises child soldiers or a guy who runs dogfights, which is not cute even if he is snatched af

(they don't have to be lovers though my shipping heart was pleased when their PDA in the deleted scenes embarrassed Starscream, but she has to be a Real Independent Person who could be someone's partner if not his)

Chaos Terrans are innately bad until "saved" by the Power of Love And the Nuclear Family (or just innately bad)

Emberstone continues to be Allspark Mark II so why even change the name?

Bee's incredible assholery is never called out (it's not funny when a starving person accidentally kills their starving teammate due to a mistake they made because they were starving)

Only Autobots and people who form nuclear families can be good parents

Everyone being friends with the cows goes to the PETA place

Cons get nothing but screwed

Please tell me this series hasn't gone where I was afraid it would. Or let me know that it has so I can decide if it's going to be so bad I'll be mad the whole time like I was in Ep 1.

Warning: anyone who clowns on this post to be a RavWave anti or say "The Decepticons are supposed to be pure evil, duh!" will get blocked.

[theactualsunshinechild]

Fontaine archon storyline still has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever and try to make Mr. "Genocide on a Whim" Childe a Christ figure by somehow trying to sacrifice him to the primordial sea for the sins of all of Fontaine

That's definitely not the plan, but it would be very funny. I love the concept of making completely un-christ-like characters into christ stand-ins.

I just keep thinking about how much opportunity they have to pull off something very biblical here with the whole "born with sin" "flood to cleanse sins" "literally building Noah's ark" "statue of the seven technically holding a cross" "passing final judgment only belongs to one entity" shit they have going on.

The entirety of Fontaine so far is so full of Christian references, whether intentional or not, that they could absolutely Christ-ify Childe if they wanted to! They're like, halfway there, they just need to sacrifice his ass and bring him back to life and they'll check off bingo.

I would be so grateful if they literally killed and revived him. can you imagine how much extra MC level Angst TM they could stuff into this man?

I love giving my most pathetic meow meows the hardest battles.

plus the added moral quandry of "is it right it to kill one guy to save our whole country even though he is not Fontanian and is blessed(???) by the primordial sea whale thing (pure of their inherent fontanian sin, kind of a son of god equivalent moment)? Is it right to do even if he isn't exactly a good person?"

And then of course the fact that the vast majority of the people affected by this decision would probably say yes, hesitantly or not. Like, if it were a guaranteed fix to the prophecy, there is no doubt in my mind that Arlecchino would be willing to nail Childe to the metaphorical cross herself AND cover it up to his family.

Neuvillette would probably consider it unjust, but could maybe potentially be swayed by the weight of just how many lives would be saved vs One Dangerous Criminal argument. (A Christ and Pontius Pilate reference? Childe WAS arrested and tried and found guilty for a crime he didn't commit by a guy who was unwilling, but forced to pronounce him guilty).

Wriothesley would be against the idea of sacrificing someone legally under his care, but if it's that vs everyone else in the fortress??? He would rather it was himself, as hell bent on fixing issues thrown his way as he is, but the man doesn't even know if he's Fontanian or not, he doesn't have the same circumstances surrounding him as Childe does to even offer to stand in his place.

Basically, if it is a guarantee, sacrificing him is simply the most practical choice that most people would make. In fact, out of all the characters we have in Fontaine, I think only the traveler might even bother truly standing up for him to the very end, because everyone else is very Personally affected, since it's their own lives on the line as well.

And that would be heartbreaking

The ANGST of Childe looking around him and seeing no one in his side in the face of impending sacrificial execution would shatter me into pieces.

Oh god, can you IMAGINE a cut scene of Childe being the first person to be sentenced to death in Fontaine in over a century and desperately looking around and meeting the traveller's eyes and we fucking grit our teeth and look away? Can you IMAGINE?!

That would break me.

Anyway, I don't think they'll do it since that's just not how Genshin writes, but it sure would be a missed opportunity.

[twistedtalking]

3 Dormleaders and the Adeuce Duo's Reaction to

*~Sentience~*

TW: Ace is a jerk, slight mention of Exams, Idk how to write Idia/Malleus/Azul, new to the internet and it's slang writer trying to imagine what Idia would say, slightly cringe, slight T*ey slander, intentional wrong grammar, Azul so confused he forget he doesn't have morals, Mentions of camera, weirdo prefect, I made this when I was bored, and braindead from school, shirtless Malleus, grossed-out Azul, etc.

Ace: ...Oh. So I'm just a video game character... No real feelings, no real emotions. My family is just a figment of my imagination. My personality, just pieces of code.

Life has lost all it's meaning.

...Or was I ever truly alive in the first place?

.

.

.

.

GOT YOU!!!

Man, you should have seen the look on your face. It was HILARIOUS!

What? Did you really think you could fool me with such a basic prank? Come on, my brother already done that one when I was five. ...which I completely did not fall for whatsoever! Nope. Not at all.

Anyways, you should really hide your props better. I could see the camera from miles away.

(Prefect: What do you mean "camera"?)

Ace: ...

(Prefect: ...)

Ace: ...we're dead.

Deuce:

"Huh?! REALLY?? Was My whole life a lie?! Oh gosh, does this mean I've never existed?!?! Are the words coming from my mouth really from my thoughts or am I just reading from a script done by some bored writer?!

Does this mean my exam results mean NOTHING?!?!"

(Ace: What? You really fell for that? Dude, you're so gullible. It's just a prank, man. Right, Prefect?)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: ...right?)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: Dude, this isn't funny anymore)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: JUST SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING! PLEASE!!!)

"We're all gonna die!!!"

(Ace: We can't die if we were never alive in the first place, idiot. Oh great, now I'm saying weird stuff too!)

(Prefect: Sorry for the long wait, guys. Mind catching me up on what happened when I was AFK?)

(Adeuce duo: When you were WHAT?!?!?)

Idia:

"Rlly? Who'd believe that? Like srsly, I'm not even that marketable. I'm too floopy to be in a shooter game, too boring to be in a gacha-"

(Prefect: It's a gacha)

Dude, who in their right mind would pull for me?? I'm the boringest character ever!

(Prefect: Nah, that's Trey)

Nah, Trey's the untrustable kind

(Prefect: Nah, that's Jade)

...okay, fair.

Anyways, I just don't see the appeal. Like, why? I'm just a weirdo who hates people, and stays in my room to play video games 21/7! And I read manga the rest of the time. I'm a total loser!

(Prefect: And that's what makes you the relatable character. Jokes aside, your saracasm is pretty funny, man, the ghost bride event was hilarious, and your character design is pretty cool. That's some of the reasons. Honestly, just gonna pull 4 u on ur next banner.)

"You should get your eyes checked"

(Prefect: I should. It's been a while since I changed my glasses. I can't even see your eyes lol.)

(Prefect: Anyways, Want to play the game? We got Rhythm games, card battles-)

"Sounds great. Better question, are there any, ahem, hot mommies?"

(Prefect: We got...Leona? And Vil! Man, how could I forget Vil? I love that man)

"Who doesn't?! I mean, whoever doesn't must be BLIND. He's totally SSR tier! If he was in the game, I'd whale for him whenever he gets a banner! He's pogchamp.

Well, As long as he isn't trying to get me to take care of myself. He's way better behind a screen. Like man, I don't care if I'll die quicker, give me my cup noodles and pomegranate candies. Actually, it's much better if I die-"

(Ortho: Nee-san! We talked about this!)

"...fine."

(Prefect: You tell him, Ortho!)

Could you send the game now?

(Prefect: yeah, sure. But the boss battles are pretty hard to beat-)

"Heh, I could beat that game in 3 weeks top"

(Prefect: Alright, you're on!)

Malleus:

Child of man, what is this "video game character" that you speak of, and how am I such one?

(Prefect: it just means a whole lot of people all around the world- Scratch that. All around the universe, simp for you!)

What does "simp" mean?

(Prefect: Imagine Sebek but, well... Yeah, never mind. Just imagine Sebek. But for like, fictional characters)

But I am not a work of fiction though, child of man? What dost thou mean?

(Prefect: ...heh. um, actually...)

A talking portrait of me in your digital device. I still do not understand what you are trying to convey.

(Prefect: Never mind. Let's just look at fanarts of you)

"Fanarts"?

(Prefect: portraits of you done in my realm)

I am fine with that. Show me these "fanarts" you speak of.

.

"These are not at all accurate. Some of them look completely different from each other. And why do some of them portray me without my clothing-"

(Prefect: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY! Yeah, let's just look at gargoyles or something! ...wait. Is that Lilia with a bag of groceries?!?! Oop. We're doomed.)

Azul:

Ah, good afternoon Prefect. I wish to speak to you. You see, while we were stealing-

I mean, checking your phone-

(Prefect: Why are you stealing checking my phone??)

Not important.

Anyways, we found this. Care to explain why you have a picture of me as your lock screen? I mean, I AM quite handsome, but the use of photos of me taken without permission could and would get you sued!

I don't really want to sue you, so I've came up with a good compromise. How about a-

(Prefect: thank God, you didn't see the home screen.)

...Well, of course I did. It was quite...odd.

(Prefect: Really? That's all? I thought you'd make a bigger reaction, you know, with it being you in an nsfw outfit)

In a WHAT!?!?

(Prefect: Aha! So you didn't see my lock screen! I was just joking. FYI, it was just a cute chibi Azul in his octomer form.)

Oh.

(Prefect: The bunny girl outfit was last week)

WHAT?!?! I could sue you right now, you know?!

(Prefect: you have no proof)

You admitted it!

(Prefect: You have no witnesses)

Nonsense! Jade and Floyd are-

Ah. Right...

Ahem. Pray tell, where did you find such...things.

(Prefect: The internet Is a weird place)

WHY WOULD THE INTERNET-

(Prefect: Octavinelle's the most popular game in Twisted Wonderland. At least, in tumblr. Poll-wise, I mean. I prefer Heartslabyul though. Ah, By the way, I mean the videogame, not this world.)

What??

Impossible. I am not from a video game. I'm not some weird anime character-

(Prefect: *shows gameplay*)

Okay, but-

(Prefect: *shows chapter 3*)

...do I at least get a share on the income?

No? What do you mean "No"?! THEY'RE USING MY FACE! FOR INCOME! AND I DON'T EVEN GET 48%?! This is unfair. This is ILLEGAL! I'm going to sue!

(Prefect: You're going to sue...D*sney. The one who made you? The one who made Ursula??)

Yeah, what's the problem with that-

Wait, Ursula?! What do you mean-

(Prefect: does that mean I can buy twst merch from you now? Hey, can I order a body pillow?)

What? T-that's disgusting!

(Prefect: *puts down bag of money*)

Did I say disgusting? No, I meant odd. But everyone's a little odd.

So, who do you want a body pillow of? Come now, Let us discuss the price in the VIP room.

Original ask:

Message:

(Argument with Idia)

You're just a game character anyways!

(For Deuce)

I'm pulling for your banner cuz you're my fav character. Wish me luck! What do I mean? I mean, you are a video game character, you know.

(For Ace)

Dude, you're from a video game.

[titleleaf]

Various Wills Graham & The Man Your Haunted Eideteker Could Smell Like

I promised you a really long-winded post about why the "ship on the bottle" aftershave exchanges don't work for me in the TV show and I am here to deliver. Thoughts on Will and Clarice's respective ~*~*~*signature scents~*~*~* in the novels, how the scent motif gets updated for the NBC show, and the smells I want 2013 Will Graham to smell like. Come with me on an olfactory journey.

(That second ad: dude, ew.) Gird your loins because there is so much corny sailing imagery to come.

In The Books

Dr. Hannibal Lecter lay on his cot asleep, his head propped on a pillow against the wall. Alexandre Dumas’s Le Grand Dictionnaire de Cuisine was open on his chest. Graham had stared through the bars for about five seconds when Lecter opened his eyes and said, “That’s the same atrocious aftershave you wore in court.” “I keep getting it for Christmas.” Dr. Lecter’s eyes are maroon and they reflect the light redly in tiny points. Graham felt each hair bristle on his nape. He put his hand on the back of his neck. “Christmas, yes,” Lecter said. “Did you get my card?” “I got it. Thank you.” Dr. Lecter’s Christmas card had been forwarded to Graham from the FBI crime laboratory in Washington. He took it into the backyard, burned it, and washed his hands before touching Molly. [...] “Your hands are rough. They don’t look like a cop’s hands anymore. That shaving lotion is something a child would select. It has a ship on the bottle, doesn’t it?” Dr. Lecter seldom holds his head upright. He tilts it as he asks a question, as though he were screwing an auger of curiosity into your face. Another silence, and Lecter said, “Don’t think you can persuade me with appeals to my intellectual vanity.”

(Red Dragon, Thomas Harris, 1981)

Will is in his mid-to-late 30s circa s1 of the NBC show, airing in 2013; his book counterpart is ~40 at the time of Red Dragon (at least prior to some later timeline shuffling? I think?) which would make him ~34-35 at the time of his briefer encounter with Lecter in that continuity. The substantial difference is when they're born -- the early 1940s rather than the late 1970s. Show Will's Gen X. Book Will isn't even a baby boomer, he's Silent Generation! These generational cohorts don't mean very much but in some things, like fashion and marketing, they flag differences in how certain products are marketed and how they're viewed.

(all my Old Spice bottle images in this post come courtesy of OldSpiceCollectibles)

The aftershave lotion with a ship on the bottle that Hannibal is bitching about is almost certainly Old Spice -- the OG Old Spice, as formulated in the late 1970s. This was a golden era for aftershave in gift-giving (witness the dozens and dozens of different collectible Avon bottles) and while the classic Old Spice bottle very much does have a ship on the bottle, Willy might have given his stepfather any number of novelty bottles designed for gifting, all of them with roughly similar early-Americana/nautical themes. Ship's wheels, ship's lanterns, ships in general, scrimshawed whale teeth, binoculars, basically anything you could possibly want. (I'd wager this is at least in part to keep up with similar collectibles coming out of Avon, but I might have that the wrong way around, or be completely off the mark altogether.)

http://www.oldspicecollectibles.com/Bottles/novelty bottles.html

The fragrance inside the bottle is a spicy floral with resinous basenotes, what for decades has been called an "oriental" fragrance. (Mercifully some parts of the industry seem to be beginning a shift toward less racist language, and I hope that shift continues, I'm seeing people float "ambrée"/"amberesque" and other language to evoke the spicy, warm profile of some scents.) It's an alcohol-based aftershave lotion, so it stings like a mother when you put it on freshly-shaven skin, and it's not great for hydration.

For cultural context, most of this will probably be stating the obvious, but I think it's interesting with the book's themes around social class, family -- Will's little family, Dolarhyde's family of origin, Dolarhyde's victims' family -- and masculinity.

In 1981, Old Spice is already positioned firmly as a highly accessible men's fragrance in the US -- available pretty much anywhere at the drugstore level, with a coordinating line of toiletries like shaving cream if aftershave isn't enough for you. For a wide swath of people of a certain age, it carries associations with dads and grandfathers, or the transmission of rituals around masculinity and coming of age from father to son. (This is weird for me as a person who came of age during the whole "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like" campaign, which aimed at revamping Old Spice's product line and aiming it toward a younger demographic, in competition with Axe. That Old Spice revamp was probably my intro into men's fragrances and it's so fucking embarrassing to say that -- it seemed very transgressive and butch to me to be wearing men's deodorant with my Catholic schoolgirl 'fit every weekday.)

It's chronologically feasible that Will's dad also wore Old Spice, and it makes sense as the kind of gift you'd give your new stepdad -- it's an impersonal gift, reflecting a fairly conservative, mainline, American masculinity. The unease many American men still felt about using scented products — even deodorant, which remained a squeamish topic — could be mitigated by the association with shaving the face as some distinctly male ritual and one taught by fathers to sons as part of their entrance into adolescence.

Have another incredibly corny print ad from 1970:

(the text is tiny here, but the gist is: hey, all these different dudes love Old Spice! Grandpa Hal! Uncle Fred! Jack! Dave! Even that goofball Pete! Just a whole bunch of guys.)

So Hannibal's remark has layers -- he's needling Will about the fact that he knows (or suspects) that Will now has a wife and child, which he likely didn't have when they last encountered each other. He's taking a swipe at his social class and his lack of sophistication — for someone with a dainty nose and a decidedly bitchy sensibility (especially in RD) Old Spice is very much déclassé. And in a narrative level, the fact that Hannibal is distinguished by his aesthetic refinement and a certain degree of fussiness as well as viciousness sets him and Will in opposition, two different modes of masculinity. I have… a lot of thoughts about how Thomas Harris uses aesthetics and sensory pleasure and refinement — certain fabrics, certain garments, certain styles of penmanship — to frame social deviance in these books but that’s for a different post I’m definitely not going to make.

This moment gets a fun parallel to Hannibal's first meeting with Clarice in The Silence Of The Lambs (1988):

“Now,” Lecter said, sitting sideways at his table to face her, “what did Miggs say to you?” “Who?” “Multiple Miggs, in the cell down there. He hissed at you. What did he say?” “He said, 'I can smell your cunt.”' “I see. I myself cannot. You use Evyan skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today. Today you are determinedly unperfumed. How do you feel about what Miggs said?” “He's hostile for reasons I couldn't know. It's too bad. He's hostile to people, people are hostile to him. It's a loop.” “Are you hostile to him?” “I'm sorry he's disturbed. Beyond that, he's noise. How did you know about the perfume?” “A puff from your bag when you got out your card. Your bag is lovely.”

This is definitely a different tone than he takes with Will Graham, both because he has a very different past history with Will and because of Clarice's position as a woman, placed in front of him as an object for scrutiny. L'Air du Temps is also an old school fragrance (premiering in 1948) and had been popular for several decades by the time the novel's set — a warm floral with the kind of powdery iris note that gets really annoying people on perfume review sites fighting over the words "old lady". (FWIW I own multiple bottles of L’Air du Temps and all but one are from estate sales. The one that isn't, I... uh... bought because I was thinking about Clarice Starling a lot at the time.) This one was and is a ton of women's signature scent, and there's nothing juvenile about it. Clarice wears it, and her mother might well have worn it too. That shit is iconic but for different reasons than Old Spice is for men.

(This little '80s spray is not what any of my bottles look like. If you want more on the various ways this one's been formulated over the years, check out the PerfumeShrine piece I linked above or this blog post on how to identify its different bottles and flankers.)

Someone on Fragrantica compared L'Air du Temps to the olfactory version of a pair of pearl earrings or a cashmere sweater — conveying polished, (small-c) conservative femininity. The inside of Clarice’s handbag is the recipient of scent here, not her body (that part's conveyed through the remark about her hand cream) and the indirectness of the detail under observation is what conveys the keenness of Lecter’s senses and how closely he’s paying attention to his visitor. He also huffs her business card because of course he does.

All of these elements of class and restraint are set in opposition to the crassness of Miggs’ unwanted commentary on Clarice’s body. With her good bag and her cheap shoes Clarice is faking a certain degree of maturity and presenting herself in the most palatable way possible for this interview ("determinedly unperfumed" and all the things that can mean; pretty but serious; feminine but not too feminine; performing the right social class, all along in flight from her "common" origins) but she’s still facing virulent misogyny from damn near every direction. The book doesn’t have quite the same pointed sense of a Theme(tm) around misogyny that the film manages, though that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty going on with regard to gender, but I think the differences around how Hannibal identifies these two perfumes, and what the reader is meant to gather from each allusion or name drop, are telling and very fun.

Hannibal then goes on to give Clarice advice about how to zhuszh up her add-a-bead necklace with some semiprecious stones in order to best set off the color of her hair and eyes, which… again, I do not have time to get into that, but I’m obsessed with it.

In The NBC Show

Hannibal stands behind Will, his NOSTRILS FLARE as CAMERA SLOWLY PUSHES IN on the back of Will’s neck. WILL GRAHAM Did you just smell me? HANNIBAL Difficult to avoid. I really must introduce you to a finer aftershave. That smells like something with a ship on the bottle. WILL GRAHAM I keep getting it for Christmas. HANNIBAL Have your headaches gotten any worse lately? More frequent? WILL GRAHAM Yes, actually. HANNIBAL I’d change the aftershave. (s01e05 "Coquilles")

Love the mention of the back of Will's neck, already intimating that it's not his aftershave Hannibal's huffing here. This is something I just can't fanwank for the television show's remixed timeline -- if Will doesn't have a partner and child in his life, or really anyone else in his life in a position to be giving him presents, this recontextualized snippet about getting the offending aftershave for Christmas doesn't make a lot of sense. It works on the level of "hey, I recognize that bit!" and it establishes for the viewer (or reminds them of) Hannibal's highly developed sense of smell, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

INT. HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT Hannibal comes into the dark room. Moves toward the refrigerator. Stops. Lifts his nose to the air. HANNIBAL The same unfortunate aftershave. Too long in the bottle. Hannibal opens the refrigerator door and the light illuminates a gun pointed at his head, Will Graham behind it. - (s02e07 "Yakimono")

HANNIBAL LECTER. He lies on his cot, asleep, his head propped on a pillow against the wall. Alexandre Dumas's Grand Dictionnaire de Cuisine is open on his chest. Eyes still closed, he takes a long slow breath through his nose, smelling the current of air that the CAMERA traveled. He opens his eyes. HANNIBAL That's the same atrocious aftershave you wore in court. - (s03e09 "…And the Woman Clothed with the Sun", very directly drawn from Red Dragon)

What’s the modern-day analogue of the original Old Spice in 1981 — ubiquity, maturity, connotations around class and gender? I don’t know if there is one. In 2013 Will's more likely to be wearing Old Spice deodorant, post-rebrand, still with a ship on the packaging but called Fiji or Denali. Or Bearglove, or Wolfthorn. No doubt Hannibal would find that offensive, but offensive in a different way than his book counterpart way back in the Reagan administration.

There's no shortage of drugstore-y scents in 2013, highly accessible fragrances for a person giving a generic Male Gift at an accessible price point, or habitual buys for a guy who mostly wants to smell like he's at least attempting to be a put-together human being: D&G Light Blue, Davidoff Cool Water, CK One, CK Eternity. (Or their body spray equivalents, if you really want Hannibal to suffer, and I do, every day of my life.) But in general there's a* lot* more diversity in fragrance worn by American men in 2013 than there was circa the events of Red Dragon or at whatever age book!Will might have started using fragrance. There's no one scent that stands in for such a broad section of gender and class as Old Spice aftershave would have in the 1970s.

It seems doubtful that in 2013 Will's using whatever he's using primarily for its shaving benefits, not least of all because he's a bearded king. (Presumably he cleans his beard up from time to time and trims his neck and whatnot, but bear with me here.) True aftershave is still available in many drugstores, including some venerable names — Aqua Velva, Skin Bracer, Pinaud Clubman — but they’re no longer the arena of younger men unless they're curious budding fragheads. And you can still be an outdoorsy dude in 2013 wearing Old Spice, but it's a bit more of a self-conscious put-on at that point, either someone's buying Will tongue-in-cheek dad cologne to go with his house full of boat engines and dog statues, or Will's bashful about his own taste for tongue-in-cheek dad cologne.

What might Will be wearing in 2013? This depends on which aspect we’re trying to reflect. For modest budget and ubiquity I can see him going for the OG Polo Green or one of its flankers. (There's a great piece of NBC Hannibal perfume meta by Genufa that I swear I only encountered after I already chose this, and it mentions Polo Classic in tandem with Will, so I'm glad we're in agreement here.) For stuff in an amber-spice neighborhood, CK Obsession For Men maybe? Still retro (premiered in 1986) but not 1930s retro.

What’s a step up? If I was out here somehow tasked with buying this man a nice smelling gift, what would I choose? If Will wanted to treat himself with something under that broad constellation of selling points — a single fragrance for steady wear, something unflashy and congruent with his presentation of himself -- I would be really tempted to put him in something slightly more niche, but not a lot more niche.

I am a huge fan of Etat Libre d'Orange Fat Electrician, a really fun creamy vetiver that's sexy in a clean soft-butch kind of way. It's not spicy in the least but as the scent's subtitle of a "semi-modern vetiver" indicates it has a nice timeless quality, warm and clean-smelling but not soapy. (And a very subtle gourmand aspect -- chestnut cream or marrons glacés.) Or something from DS&Durga, Mississippi Medicine, or Bowmakers, or Burning Barbershop -- there's a whole slew of "vintage barbershop"-inspired scents that might scratch the same itch for someone who wears a fragrance out of habit and to feel grounded in a solid, put-together masculinity. (Maybe especially when he's not feeling otherwise particularly grounded or put-together.)

For different ways of evoking Will's kind of dignified no-fuss outdoorsman thing, Profumum Arso ("Cedar leaves, incense, leather, pine resin") maybe, or Fumidus, though it sounds like peaty hell to me -- Will seems to be a bourbon guy and not a scotch dude. For something a little more glamorous and a little more established, maybe Guerlain Habit Rouge, idk. 

What’s the next step up from these -- the equivalent of Bella's Bolt Of Lightning? If someone (with a bankroll on par with Hannibal, or Bedelia, or Jack, or Bella) were to introduce Will to a still pricier class of fragrance, what might that look like? It's hard for me to say, since this isn't a type of perfumery I engage with, like... at all. I like my indie oils, I like niche perfumers, I love decants, but I don't have a cool $800 to drop on a whole bottle of... anything. Once you reach a certain level you can shop pretty differently from normal people, up to and including getting something one-of-a-kind commissioned for your boytoy/crime gimp/ex-husband's ex-husband/etc. (And as a gift for someone else -- since none of these people barring possibly Bella has a remotely normal relationship with Will -- it'd say as much about their intentions with the gift and their perception of Will as the reality of who Will is.) So I'm going to have to mull that a while.

Absolutely none of this gets into the bonkers Farmacia di Santa Maria Novella sequence in Hannibal, which... has a lot going on, idk. ("Starling, then. Clean, and rich in textures. Cotton sun-dried and ironed. Clarice Starling, then. Engaging and toothsome. Tedious in her earnestness and absurd in her principles. Quick in her mother wit." Please, sir!) Like basically every other element of the series, the smell stuff gets ratcheted up to 11 for that book, and it seems like its own separate thing to unpack. Hannibal fucking loves shopping in that book and I love reading about his weird little ass shopping.

[genopaint]

The long awaited Week 10 of Daily Dragons! Like the last post, I just didn't really get the chance to post these cause my laptop was packed up and what not. But it's finally here for your viewing pleasure :)

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #63 - Seal Dragon

These large, semi aquatic dragons are often seen basking on rocky shores. When hungry, the largest in a pack will swim into the ocean, hunt large animals like whales, and bring them back to shore for the whole pack to eat

I had a concept for a walrus like dragon but ultimately this isn't exactly what I had in mind. However, I do kinda like it! So you can expect to see at least one more seal-esc dragon in the future i guess lol

Daily Dragon #64 - Flying Dragon

As the name suggests, these dragons are ALWAYS in flight! They only land when they need to sleep, but are actually able to go surprisingly long times without needing any rest at all. Sometimes even multiple days!

Up and early with dragons these last few days aha Another redraw! I keep seeing it while looking at the other dragons for a hot minute so I wanted to tackle it too! I think it's actually from 2011-2012 like the Ghouldrogon because... Well they were on the same sheet of paper!

Daily Dragon #65 - Magon

The first Wario dragon! There's actually quite a few in his series. Lately I've been thinking about Wario Land/World/MoD for a while now. They're some of my favorite games and it might honestly be time for me to replay them

I played all the Wario games back in highschool so it's been a hot hot minute. But I really do like them all. They're all good as hell even (especially) Master of Disguise which is so underappreciated

Daily Dragon #66 - Snoozozaur

This dragon lives and breathes for one thing and one this only: sleeping! Rarely ever waking up, only for occasional food and water, they can actually sleep walk and sleep fight using what scientists believe to be some type of psychic ability. Additionally, they can levitate! Meaning they can comfortably sleep ANYWHERE!

Daily Dragon #67 - Shrine Dragon

This dragon is frequently seen guiding heroes of all kinds to temples and shrines important to their quests. If you're looking for a secret dungeon in a large area and spot one flying in the sky, it's in your best interest to follow it!

Daily Dragon #68 - Green Dragon

Thank you for all your amazing monsters and characters over the years, Mr. Toriyama!!

The more I keep thinking about it the more it's making me sad. Chrono Trigger's character designs were SO influential on me growing up. And the design for Arasu is SO important to RPG protagonists that I had OCs inspired by him before I even saw the character. And yeah, of course, Blue Dragon has always been a very important game to me even when I was a tiny child who couldn't afford an Xbox 360.

Daily Dragon #69 - Cuddlodon

A dragon that just loves being friendly and playful! They have some very basic combat skills like small fire balls and teeth, but why would you ever want to fight one? Come on, don't be mean to them :(

Really really low energy today. I wanted to do a Super Mario RPG celebration dragon, but I have something big in mind for the SMRPG dragon so I want to save it for when I'm less busy. Instead, today I redrew this fella from 2012: The Cuddly Dragon!

And of course, in 2024 (that's 12 years later holy hell!!) they come in multiple colors :)

[asdear]

Here's a random 3 AM, sleep-deprived brain dump because why tf not?

I'm sure y'all can agree with me that this man is a canon schizophrenic...

(The pic above isn't mine)

I'm subscribed to TheProfessional on YouTube, and today, I was watching his older Cayo Perico videos and streams, simply for some nostalgia. But then when I was listening to Pavel's lines in the videos, I forgot how much weird shit he sometimes says.

Even when watching one of Pro's Cayo Perico stream videos, at one point, there was one of those black message things that you see when loading online. This one mentioned the Kosatka submarine, and how Pavel was "insane enough to live there."

Rockstar especially knows that Pavel is insane af (but we still love him lmao)

Also, I did the crazy thing of looking up schizophrenia symptoms, and from what I found, these symptoms seem to fit Pavel:

- Social isolation (Poor Pavel probably doesn't interact with many people, other than us, "Mini Madrazo," and the heist crew members you can hire for the heist. 🥺)

- Compulsive behavior (This could also just be him acting traumatized from his past life or something, but he has an obsession with destroying items we steal for the heist, even if these items are impossible for El Rubio to track down in the first place. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if he does other compulsive things that we don't see.)

- Easy excitability (I've always noticed that he's way too optimistic and excited to rob Rubio lol.)

- Child-like behavior (Y'all ever get child-like behavior vibes from him sometimes... because I do?)

- Paranoia (He always demands that we destroy shit, or Rubio would "track us down.")

- Circumstantial speech (This basically means that he says stuff that digresses from the main point of the topic/conversation. Like an example from the game: in the demolition charge prep, he'll talk about what to do when you get to the house, but at one point, he'll just randomly talk about his uncle. He does this a few times in some preps.)

- Saying weird stuff ("We could try to sex with a blue whale." "The water was so cold, I used my nipples to cut through the grate." Yes, he actually says these things. 🤨)

- Ignoring basic everyday tasks, like hygiene (This isn't canon/known, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does this. I mean, his clothes are always dirty and stained, so I guess he doesn't pay attention to his hygiene.)

Also, combine these with the fact that he doesn't think his behavior is strange, and he especially doesn't act like he's aware of his behavior.

I'm highly convinced he's canonically dealing with schizophrenia.

Doesn't matter to me, though. That doesn't change the fact that I have a huge ass crush on him. 🫣❤️

[linddzz]

The fact that James Cameron used legit great directing of cinematic visuals to tell a stories that do not work as movies (that is if you actually do want to go deeper than "environmental and cultural destruction for profit is sad :((" which...I legit couldn't tell if he did try to go deeper than that or not lmao) is fascinating and hilarious to me. You took potential great stories. You took great skill in this story telling medium. You deeply failed to smash them together skillfully. I'm almost in awe of it.

Tbh the visuals are great but I want the novels which is also hilarious to me. There are basic ideas set in this big world and a cast of characters that each have different conflicts and relations to the Big Picture ideas. You could have a series of novels with entire books set with a different character POV!! All the good meaty stuff I think would be better served with the more internally driven narratives of novels tho which is why I keep leaning that way.

How about a novel of Neytiri struggling with the cognitive dissonance of her love of Jake and her children conflicting with the rage that the trauma from the first movie left in her?? How about we go more into her character than "fierce angry wife." How does she feel about the child of a sky people avatar having this deep connection to Eywa? With the anger we see her directing towards Spider wouldn't we see her struggle with Jake using human military language with their kids???

How about a novel with the whales and their societal struggle with them now being violently hunted vs their pacifist values?? How does this new conflict affect the relations of their sister culture of the islanders???

The movie mentions that the avatar bodies don't set off the planets defenses. We see the commando avatars able to bond with the dragons (I ain't gonna remember all these names ok!!). This IMPLIES that just by having the Navi biology they are connected to the planet now. How does this effect them?? How about a novel from the baddies pov where they make more and more avatars to conquer the planet and slowly find that it backfires as the two way connection changes THEM. Who can handle it?? Does it drive some of them insane?? How about we have a failed redemption arc with Colonel Full Ass Throttle as he feels this two way connection with his dragon. What if that whale hunting really disturbed him and he's fucked up over the fact that he is disturbed now?? Wouldn't he be viscerally disgusted at this mental connection to this planet?? How does that contrast with seeing his son WANT that connection that he hates?? What if we get a visceral rejection scene where he cuts off his braid/connection?? (Honestly thought they were doing something like that with him and I was like ?????? when nothing happened there dkdjdk I guess we had to keep it at a basic mumbled something about father and son dynamics)

I promise this isn't a fixation that'll last long I just need this day to process how baffling this movie was as a grand image of one man refusing to actually dig into his own themes bc he'd rather keep it to the most bland of takes that don't go beyond "isn't this upsetting and bad? What if unobtainium but more bluntly evil?"

[abyssin]

mlb verse headcanon time! WE NEED TO GO DEEPER. what is childe's kwami's name? what concept does it preside over? what power does it give him? what is his relationship with his kwami like and why does it encourage him to be Like That™? how did he get his miraculous? what are his motives and/or goals for using it? what was he doing before he got his miraculous and how did becoming a holder change him? how does him being a miraculous holder affect his relationship with his family?

everything i am about to say is all come up with on the spot so it is subject to change! BUT HELLO HERE WE GO MIRACULOUS VERSE CHILDE THOUGHTS:

i. ㅤok so we already have a name for the whale thanks to the genshin leaks but just because i feel like it phonetically sounds close to the kwami names, i wanna name his kwami flood! he's a very calm and collected little guy who greatly contrasts childe in personality, but their goals for chaos to qualm boredom is the same! they're two peas in a pod as much as flood will try to criticize him for being reckless /: and yes he looks like an itty bitty narwhal, with the teeny horn and all!

ii.ㅤ i'd like to place flood as the kwami of disorder. it's rather close to plagg, but basically i think of it as a concept that breeds conflict, opposition, confusion. it thrives off the conflict between hawk moth and the ladybug-chat noir duo and Would like things to continue the way they are. perhaps he and childe have even helped one side or the other in order to keep things interesting? they're so annoying fr fr. ㅤㅤㅤbonus: ㅤflood takes the shape of a singular earring on his left ear, much alike to the one he has in canon. it glows a pretty blue shade much like ajax's own eyes when flood is communicating

iii. ㅤif not already hinted by the above answers, tartaglia (ajax's transformation) and flood are ironically neutral parties to miraculous conflict conceptually, but in action they both enable the conflict for their own amusement. of course, the last thing he wants is paris destroyed while he's here (i'm going to assume he's a transfer student in college rn but, we'll see!), but with flood as his companion, they can do absolutely anything together (❁´◡`❁) ㅤtoday, he's an ally to ladybug. tomorrow?ㅤ who knows...

iv. ㅤi haven't quite figured out how he found his miraculous... it isn't unusual for him to be finding different objects to send back home as gifts for his family, so i imagine it was something he picked up by accident and he awakened flood. i will have to get back on this for specifics on How it was found though...

v. ㅤi do like the thought that he's studying business management here, or if i do peg his age to the one i have in canon, he could be working as a toymaker? the reason i wanted to place him in college was to make interaction with the miraculous kids more likely and much easier to bump into HAJDAHD

the thing about how meeting flood is something i'm going to leave up in the air. i do want it to parallel to canon that perhaps flood corrupted childe too, and childe was a willing host? i also like the thought of tartaglia being able to consume the akuma butterflies 🤔 many thoughts!

anyways tartaglia here to be a nuisance. je suis fuck off dude!

[stupidfateheadcanons]

Which servants do you think would play Mobile Games? (like Gacha, Idol games, Candy Crush, Fruit Ninja)

Gachas and Gacha-Adjacents

(don't spend money on gacha)

Tomoe Gozen

Despite being a #gamer, she wouldn't play most mobile games due to them, generally speaking, having pretty unskilled gameplay (unless some piece of canon I'm not remembering smites me down.) However, given all the hyper-intense Arknights blogging I've seen, Tomoe would be entranced by crunching numbers and solving her little military puzzles with her units. Also, she'd be into catgirls, and whatever the hell the Doctor has got going on with that scientist woman who hates them.

Blackbeard

tries all of them. even the bad ones. ...especially the bad ones.

has one of those AI Waifu apps.

Fusehime, Okita, Ushiwakamaru

Touken Ranbu players (the sword boy game). Ushiwakamaru nerds out about the history of the swords, Fusehime is a #collector, and Okita just likes the simple gameplay of mowing down people with her prettyboy units. Nobunaga also plays, trying to piss Okita off with her luck in forging boys, but Okita genuinely loves the low-rarity units so it's only half-way effective.

Shuten-Douji

Shuten plays a gacha game where all of the waifus are humanizations of alcohol. She's spent well over a thousand dollars trying to get Aged Red Wine, who's a milf that looks like Raikou. Don't question why.

Jalter

Plays one of the more lore-heavy gacha games. Whales for her favorites and writes intense meta posts. She's very insistent that this is just the natural course of things.

Gilles

Isn't huge into gachas generally, but he'll pick up whatever game has a Jeanne expy (or, because he considers Saber-faces to be 'Jeanne faces', Saber expies) to roll for the girl in question, max levels her, and then drops the game.

Valkyries

They play Obey Me and other Shall We Date games to debate over the best boys.

Kama

Gets invested in one hot girl in one game and her money is gone. The girl in question has glasses and a turtleneck like Medusa's casual form.

Gilgamesh

Plays gacha games with ranking and pvp elements like Epic Seven to lord his units over the plebs. Is also a pull streamer. A lot of his clips go viral, and the atmosphere of his streams are very fun.

Other Phone Games

Nobunaga

Downloads one of those 'We're under fucking attack!' games. Nero is the woman in the ad.

Helena

A daily wordle girlie. Shares her scores on Servantgram with Sherlock.

MHXX

Plays Angry Birds on her break.

Miss Crane and Phantom

Idol games. They're friends over it.

Nero and Elizabeth

They compete in rhythm games to get higher scores than each other.

Osakabahime

Plays mobile fortnite on her bed.

Chloe and Emiya also play, but Emiya gets dumpstered by the other two.

Iyo

Plays Stardew on her phone. Likes showing other Servants and her Master her farm layout and progress.

The Paladins

Collectively have an old iPhone 8 that still has flappy bird on it that they pass around. It's beaten to shit but still kicking.

Paul Bunyan

Needs to use the largest I-Pad ever, but she plays pretty basic Facebook-esque games like Candy Crush. In her Alt form, she posts game scores for likes.

Kintoki

Jetpack Joyride and the Hello Kitty games.

Author Servants

Hans gets them all into phone scrabble. They keep getting collectively mad at Shakespeare because he cheats and tries to make new words.

anderson voice: dumas that word is not allowed in scrabble

dumas: but it's a word in FRENCH

Ptolomey dominates

Among Us

The child servants generally play Among Us together, once it gets popular in Chaldea.

Jack: Loves to be the imposter because murder is fun! Pretty bad at keeping her identity hidden, though. LOVES the little hats.

Nursery Rhyme: Sees it as a game of Hide and Seek. Fails at being the imposter and doing tasks.

Jalter Lily: Does tasks, is decent at being the imposter. A generalist.

Voyager: Very good at doing tasks. Hates being the imposter.

Erice: Terrible at Among Us, but wants to play to hang out with Voyager. She gets really upset about losing, though. This genuinely affects her self-confidence.

Mephistopheles: Plays with the children. Pretends to be the imposter even if he's not.

Douman: Also plays with the children. Generally pretty wretched to Meph, but is a good and fun player otherwise. Hams up being the evil villain when they're shot out of the air-lock.

Pokemon Go

Achilles

Da Vinci Lily with Goredolf

Erice with Voyager

Iskander with the very specific intention of conquering the world and catching a Pokemon in every city he conquers. Waver cannot keep up with him, so Iskander would -- in the hypothetical world-conquering scenario -- get one of those phone holders and drive the car real slow to help him catch Pokemon.

Guda is a shiny hunter.

Carmilla gets all the dogs, eventually branching out into other Dark types (with the occasional cute animal.) Defends her team's gym with a massively overpowered Houndoom.

Bakin has a full dog team

Rakou has a teddiursa she named Kintoki. Kintoki would catch Raikou a Raikou. Gotta do things for your momma!

Michi teaches Izou how to use a phone so he can have his little Pokemon.

Sei plays with the girl gang (Suzuka, Nobbu, Okita, etc. Murasaki is dragged along too.)

Honorable Mentions

Beni Enma

Doesn't play phone games, but does have a DS and 10,000 hours in the cooking mama games and their offshoots collectively.

[sizeable-star-wars]

Major Ahsoka Episode 1 and 2 Spoilers below.

This is my brief review of the first two episodes.

Ugh, Disney. For five minutes, can you not write formulaic, predicable stories. FOR FIVE MINUTES?!

I'll start off with things I like:

1) The Fan Service is strong with this one. Ahsoka is good, Rosario Dawson once again delivers a good performance. Having Hera featuring so heavily in it is great too, her actress does a good job. They even get a very good facsimily of Ezra, which was a nice bit. Hopefully they put him to good use.

2) The supporting cast have given good performances too. The male "Jedi?" seems cool, and his Apprentice is interesting. Though I predict she is going to change sides down the line. She just has that air about her.

3) The effects are good, on par with usual Star Wars. However some of the practical alien costumes are a bit... stunted. There's a Mon-Calamari officer at the start who can't seem to flex his lower arms or his fingers, just like the Rhodian guy in Book of Boba Fett.

4) Chopper is a highlight, a fun highlight 😄 You can tell what he's trying to say. Hopefully we get to see him commit more w*r cr*mes! 😄

5) The HK Droids are awesome. While they're not like our beloved HK-47, they are still decent side-adversaries.

Now for the things I don't like:

1) It is so, so predictable and formulaic. Ahsoka shows Sabine the show's first McGuffin device (more on that later) and tells her to stay put. Sabine did not stay put.

Sabine makes the McGuffin work, only for the enemy to show up and steal it. Things go bad. But luckily they left behind a clue for them to follow!

They go to the place, and surprise-surprise, people loyal to the bad guys are there! The bad guys escape, but not before a tracking beacon gets put on their ship!

It's just so formulaic and by the numbers. Andor didn't have this, I didn't predict much about that. This was entirely predictable, like they read a book on story tropes and just put it all in there!

2) Sabine gets stabbed through the stomach by a lightsaber. And she's fine! Totally fine after what, a day in hospital? No lasting injuries, no death, barely an inconvenience. First Reva (a literal child) and now Sabine. Poor Qui-Gon must be very grumpy after all these others surviving being stabbed! Her internal organs should be cooked! She should be dead!

But nope, Lightsabers just aren't what they used to be. Yet all those soldiers at the start die instantly from being slashed across the chest or arm. They forgot their plot armour!

3) The typical "Estranged Master and Student" thing with Ahsoka and Sabine. So predictable, they seem to do this all the time. They waste a good portion of time with them arguing or speculating about whether it's worth reuniting again. And they resolve that after two episodes, which is at least brief by most arcs.

4) The fight choreography isn't great. Not as bad as the Sequel Trilogy, but not great either. Gone are the days of the beautiful prequel fights. There's a point where Ahsoka is fighting the "Not Inquisitor" and is in a lightsaber bind with him, but one of her sabers is behind his. So she just had to flick it, and he's decapitated. Same goes for Sabine fighting the Apprentice. Very, very stunted and plenty of exploitable moments from both fighters. Sabine being out of practice, I can understand. But the Apprentice was giving her plenty of openings and also ignoring Sabine's lack of experience too.

That's my basic summary, I'm happy to discuss more with people who want to 😊

5) The McGuffin device! Yet another star map which leads to the person everyone is looking for! Just like Luke Jake Skywalker! How did they even know that was where he went? He got sent there by Ezra and the magical Hyperspace Whales! Did the Ancient Nightsisters forsee it somehow? Or did they know that the Hyperspace Whales would go there? Is that their home?

Disney, please stop with the McGuffin devices! Please, come up with something original! 😭

[daz4i]

congrats! you got it wrong but ily anyway 🖤

the right answer was "melville spends his entire arc hunting a metaphorical whale"! while melville is a character in bsd, his role is very minor. his ability is actually um. how do i describe it. like a spirit of a whale? that's also. a real whale?? but not really?!?! anyway his group turned it into a giant ship that eventually got sunk. but nah, he didn't have an arc or anything, he was just There and he slayed the entire time and i love him.

anyway, explanations under the cut!

edgar allan poe tries to kill a guy he's been obsessed with for years:

that is actually his introduction! he was obsessed with ranpo for 6 years after ranpo beat him in some detective thing, and wrote a book to get him trapped and eventually killed in. needless to say it didn't work and now they're besties (😏)

a guy asks his best friend to kill him so he can write a better mystery novel:

that'd yokomizo! he's trying to write like, an ultimate mystery novel. also he's dying from cancer. so he asks his bestie (😏) to strangle him to death, to give him a better ending, and to make the mystery in his novel more compelling to readers (as it mirrors what happens irl)

goncharov is there. and he's a simp. and can't feel sadness:

hate to be the one breaking it to you but goncharov is a real author. and a character in bsd

dostoevsky gave him a lobotomy, so he can't feel sadness. and bc of that, he considers fyodor his master and is obsessed with him

french men yaoi:

verlaine and rimbaud have a weird gay thing going on. the fun part is the irl poets also had a weird gay thing going on. i'm too lazy to find screenshots of the characters being gay sorry just trust me bro (it's from the light novel stormbringer tho. and mentioned in fifteen iirc tho i'm p sure verlaine isn't named)

a 10 years old child feels the pain of every tree in the country at once:

this one's actually a mistake on my end! they're 13, my bad. i accidentally misled people with this, so sorry. but yeah this is about q; their ability is that they can mind control anyone who hurts them. so, steinbeck attached his ability to them - he can do shit with trees. idk man - to turn them into a mass weapon

the main team beats up gang members for messing with their favorite cafe:

this is the plot of chapter 38, basically. i can't find a good screenshot just go read it it takes like 3 minutes

a 14 y/o farmer solves a crime by being nice:

that's kenji! he's just friends with everyone in the city so they give him clues and secret information bc they like him :)

a clown puts dostoevsky and his narrative foil in a death race:

nikolai, my beloved, my everything, makes fyodor and dazai inject themselves with poison that will kill them in 30 minutes. their goal is to escape the prison they're in before that happens, and whoever gets there first will get the antidote. he's just silly goofy like that

a guy gets stabbed so he can roleplay as a princess with his ex-partner:

i love that this is third place. no this is just dazai. he had a whole elaborate plan in dead apple. eventually he gets stabbed by the guys he's been in cahoots with for said plan. the knife has poison on it too. luckily he had antidote hidden in his mouth but he needed something to get it to work. enter chuuya aka his ex-partner, who fought a dragon and is now looking for dazai in the wreckage, finds him, and punches him which is exactly what breaks the antidote and gets it to work. then this happens

given that he had the antidote ready hours before he got stabbed he knew this would happen, and he trusted chuuya to be there to give him his princess moment (and chuuya knew this, too)

also this isn't a part of it i just need the non-bsd fans who are looking for context to see this which also happens seconds later:

that is all! you are so brave for getting through this bullshit and i am proud of you. go read bungou stray dogs if you haven't yet

well since you all asked so nicely

i felt like "guy throws a building at a dragon" is like basic stuff by now. tried doing stuff i haven't seen in polls before afaik

people who don't know bsd I'm dying to hear your answers ^_^

[deathdoesntkillyou]

the dream I had which is now cannon in my heart

(The only way this is even vaguely related to what we've been doing is that it started when Sylvie got sick in the way that things like that get you thinking about what's important etc)

But anyway, the dream was about Maggie and her namesake nan because I vibe that Johnny visits her (first at home in her caravan where she's getting cared for by his sisters and then in the home she gets put in eventually when her Alzheimer's gets worse) every week like a dutiful son and his wife and kids only go on special occasions when they've gotta so Maggie goes with him from when her nan is in the home and she can (because she's the daughter of Ali and she'd insist regardless of however young she may be)

So like I said, when Sylvie is a sick kid she decides that she wants to see her nan more like oh I really should while I still have her and she sneaks and goes whenever she can and the staff let her even though she's only 12 because they recognise her from coming with her dad and she's doing no harm (plus jali will say it's okay when they inevitably find out, even though they don't necessarily know how often she is going, including when she's supposed to be at school (because like her mum she's a wild child so nobody is automatically assuming that's where she is cos she could be off anywhere doing anything and often is/was lol)

A wholesome time is being had despite the nan being deep in her dementia and not able to talk or know her/basically confined to a chair and as time passes a bed, because nevertheless this gal chats away and they look at photos or she sings to her or they have lunch together and she helps feed her, does her hair and paints her nails etc etc all the cute things, sometimes she just draws the nan while they listen to music (which is foreshadowing and handy for later when her nan dies and she gives all these drawings to her dad, including ones she did of her when she was younger from said photos they look at)

Years pass how they will (it was unspecified in the dream, she got older than 12 but she was still a teen idk) and sometimes as the nan got worse she didn't want long visits or was asleep when Maggie came so she ended up making friends with most of the carers + other residents (she's her mother's daughter and makes friends easily) and I've always vibed she likes making clothes especially costumes so picture her throwing a lil Halloween party for the residents who are able to go and making Christmas decs and singing Christmas songs and hiding chocolate eggs all around this home at Easter etc etc, all the while only the peeps closest to her even know she does any of this cos she isn't shouting about it, basically she's a full time volunteer without thinking of it like that

But of course, the day comes when her nan dies (again it was kinda unspecified in the dream but she ended up going into hospital dying basically and poor Mags couldn't go and say her goodbyes because there is so much extended gypsy fam always visiting that she couldn't even sneak when one of them wasn't there and it was really sad*) so she stops visiting the home obvs cos she's really sad but runs into one of the younger carers coincidentally one day when she's in town and they have a lil catch up and she's like we all 'we miss you' + '[one of the residents she made friends with] is having a 90th birthday party, you should come' so she did go and it slayed and she decides to come back and keep visiting again, thinking she'll just go like once a week or every so often and it'll be chill but DUH she ends up going almost as often as she did before, doing all kinds of different shit with different residents, having a whale of a time and living her best life (p.s this did not happen in the dream but as I'm writing this down I'm thinking of the potential for her to get with someone's grandson if we wanted a ship for her, like in that book, cos you know these old ladies would all be trying to pimp their fam out lol)

Long story short, she kept it up and they offered her a job when she finished school which she took and I love that because it's not something she planned (like her mother she's into all sorts of things) but it's just a job she falls into and really enjoys * There was a whole part in the dream about the funeral btw, she (and Ali) did get to go but even though all they were trying to do was pay their respects and serve a lewk, the gypsy fam were SO mad and didn't want them there because it was a full blown traditional affair despite the nan not being a gypsy as we now know, Johnny was sticking up for her while also trying to stop things kicking off but ultimately his dad put his foot down and told her (and Ali) to leave cos he didn't want the drama and felt like he was being shown up as he's clearly on the side of the gypsy fam about it and tries to pretend Maggie and Django (who wasn't there) don't exist

They left cos not trying to cause a scene actually but just before they did there was a whole heartbreaking moment where Maggie said to her granddad in gypsy lingo something like sorry for your loss (idk if they have their own equivalent of things they like to say but if they do it was that vibe because she put her all into it) trying to be nice and respectful and saying it with ALL the feeling in the world cos she loved her nan so much by this point but everyone was simply fuming and didn't take it the right way

So this was when she decided to change her name because not only a fuck you all he's my dad too but fuck you all I'm gonna have my nan's whole name cos she's my bestie and ILY and y'all didn't even visit her unless you were forced