#basically a series of contemporary shitposts

[josefavomjaaga]

First Restauration newspaper gossip – the Marmont edition

Some more snippets from 1814 German newspapers:

Allgemeine Zeitung, 16 June 1814:

There is talk of the appointment of three new marshals, and M. Viomesnil, M. Coigny and M. Nansouty are believed to have been designated. On the other hand, it is said to be true that General Grouchy had asked for his dismissal. But after everything was settled, he showed himself at court, and is said to have taken the liberty of insulting Marshal Marmont in the presence of the Duke of Berry in a parlour adjoining the King's flats, whereupon he was ordered to leave Paris the next day.

Allgemeine Zeitung, 28 June 1814

General Grouchy, who was ordered to leave Paris following his quarrel with Marshal Marmont, has returned; the King has deigned to excuse what he considers to be the temperamental outbursts of an excellent warrior.

Bayreuther Zeitung, 8 July 1814

A private message from Mainz, that cannot be verified, says that there was a tumultuous event in Paris on 30 June and that Marshal Marmont was stabbed to death by Marshal Oudinot.

Bayreuther Zeitung, 9 July 1814

The rumour from Mainz of tumultuous events in Paris on 30 June and of the assassination of Marshal Marmont was not confirmed. Until 2 July, the Paris papers did not report any event that could have given rise to this rumour.

Berlinische Nachrichten von Staats- und gelehrten Sachen, 19 July 1814

Marmont is particularly the object of the censure of the discontented because, instead of putting Paris, which his defeated and shattered corps could not cover, at the mercy of extreme danger, he preferred to capitulate.

Baierische National-Zeitung, 30 July 1814

Marmont, who saved the ruins of his defeated army by a capitulation, the life of a punishable and still dangerous tyrant by a stroke of the pen, and Paris itself from destruction by ceasing to defend it when it could no longer be defended, without provoking and exposing the aggressors; this Marmont is at present universally hated by those citizens whose houses, wives and daughters owe their existence and honour to his prudence. The most daring of Bonaparte's followers accuse him of treachery, because he took the only means to save their idol. The armies, which he rescued with honour from a succession of unequal battles and unavoidable misfortunes, accuse him daily in the cafés of having disgraced the French arms.

And as a bonus: Louise Soult

Allgemeine Zeitung, 16 June 1814

It is said that the other day, when Mme la Maréchale Soult presented herself at court, she was allowed to enter before many of the ladies of old nobility, who were very offended by this.

[weatherman667]

Favourite Fantasy Races

Preamble about Tolkien

Tolkien created the modern fantasy genre, and there is very little to criticize about it. Other than the fact he wrote it as an alternate history to our world. Our world doesn't have Elves or Dwarves or anything, and so he had to explain why, i.e. extinction. It is almost impossible to compare his mythology with anyone else, for one reason he has so much detail that he accounted for thousands of years of linguistic drift, and for the other, he had no contemporaries. His contemporaries made fun of him for wasting his time on it.

As such, most of Tolkien's races will not be included here.

Dwarves

My longtime favourite fantasy race. Unfortunately, very few people have any idea about them. Tokien made them Jews, but postitive, but also added simple and solid foundations for them. They lived underground because they dug too greedily and too deep. That said, a lot of Neanderthal features ended up becoming Dwarven features, as if we all had some genetic memory to draw from, (Tolkien was big on genetic memory).

While Dwarves in Nordic myth were known for being greedy, the only reference Tolkien had with Dwarves was that they DUG too greedily. They played with power they could not comprehend, and it lead to their downfall.

Alright, so, why do Dwarves have a reputation of being greedy?

How about because they are literally the ones digging the precious metals out of the mountain? How about skilled labour was the best way to make money? Oh, and trading. Jews afterall, so it would make great sense for them to have a strong understanding of economics. And then you had France that was so non-functional that they couldn't tax the nobles that actually had the money.

So, hard work, trade, economics, and time, all things that Dwarves have in spades.

Oh, and for the record, Tolkien never once said they have beards.

The Lion of Cynn: My own unpublished fantasy series. The Dwarves of the Lion of Cynn cycle are not as exciting or fantasy as most other series, but they are fantastic for character stories, (and every story should be a character story).

Overlord: If you have to have underground Dwarves, this is the way to do it. They actually have a coherent city, and it explicitly states that they trade for food. There are other nations from other races that they have external relations with.

Ingir: Ingir was a series of polls and shitposts to cobble together a fantasy world, but as such, it focuses on nation-scale designs that are very rarely considered. It also takes the real-world consequences to the existence of magics, and how societies would respond to them. TL;DR they have alchemy that basically creates nuclear power plants.

Warcraft: Not World of Warcraft, but pre-World of Warcraft Warcraft. The Great Wars ripped them out of their isolation in the mountain homes, and forced them to interact with the rest of the world. Their answer? Archeology. Dwarves spread across the world, exploring ancient ruins. Of course, this is a world where there are dangerous nearly world-ending relics and ruins strewn all over the world.

misc: Unfortunately, while Dwarves are one of the most common races, they are the least developed. They are often tokenized, and reduced to a single point. Ghim is one of the best Dwarves ever created, but he's just one man Dwarf. Gimli is the same. Dwarf Mage from Goblin Slayer is also fantastic, but that is an IP expressly created to not have character development, and falls on it's face whenever it tries.

HM:

Warhammer: Warhammer is based on the principle of everyone fighting everyone. As such, the world is kept loose, to allow everything to be changed to justify the change. As such, there are a number of points that have incredibly deep lore, but not a world you can really adventure in. 40K had Dwarves, gave them great lore, retgoned their own Dwarves, brought them back without ever acknowledging that they are Dwarves, and then bringing the original space Dwarves back. This time they had a much more well thought out army, but suffered from the tinge of wokeness.

Dragon's Crown: While almost exclusively a combat game, the Dwarf took old-school race-as-class Dwarves and did a fantastic job of them.

Dragon Age: They had an incredibly unique take on Dwarves, some of which I completely disagree with, but still fleshed out in incredible detail. Unfortunately, they seem to be going with the same way that Tokien was, by making everything other than Humans nearing extinction.

Darksiders: The makers are taller than even Nephilim, and literally crafted worlds.

Thor (marvel): Similar to Darksiders, but this time using a star they are stopping from collapsing to craft them.

Arcanum: A fantastic game in theory, a pretty shitty game in practice. Arcanum was the crucible that created my understanding of Dwarves. See, Dwarves in the setting had steam technology, and were only using it to draw water out of a mine. A Human took the technology and created the industrial revolution. Everyone with an interest in Dwarves should play through until you make friends of Magnus.

Elves

The most common fantasy race. Surprisingly, Japan is often much closer to the original Elves than the West. Everyone in the West is so intent on deconstructing every - single - fucking thing, that Elves have lost their divine nature. We can probably blame Warhammer for asshole Elves.

Skeleton Knight: Elves are divine and human, and eternal, but age slowly. This very rarely well done in works. The Elves have decade-long discussions about politics, and forget that only 500 years ago doesn't apply to Humans. Their solution to the dangerous world around them was to wall it off and create a paradise. Unlike Tolkien, paradise isn't given to them, but the product of millennia of careful management. They also have very well established combat abilities. Skeleton Knight is one of worlds that does practical magic incredbily well.

Unicorn Overlord: The most extensive Elven nation that might have ever been created. And I don't mean just big, but finely crafted in ever detail. They live at peace with the Fey, and use them to bring themselves prosperity, as they hide from the outer world of warring Human nations. They weave magic into every aspect of their lives, and combat. Another one that does Elven magic combat as completely distinct from that of Humans, and does it fantastically well.

Cynn: Again, my own fantasy world. Elves live so long that they just ignore most of what happened. You have to ask really specific questions. Their long lives have also prevent them from really creating a culture, as the magic running through their bodies causes extends far enough to make sure that equipment carried on their bodies lasts nearly as long as they do.

Warcraft: Not World of Warcraft, but pre-World of Warcraft. WoW is the best and worst thing to ever happen to Warcraft. It put you in the living world, but the most simplistic version of it. And then you get to watch as they torture the lore to have the Blood Elves have gain Paladins by torturing what's basically an angel. Warcraft is one of the first IP's to actually take Tolkien's work and delve into the history of it. This is back from the Long, Long Ago, when video games came with novels worth of gamelore. They created the Kaledorei, Children of the Stars, and turned the original Elves from into the High Born, or Quel'Dorei. They had the highest magickal ability, and used this to claim the magickal might makes right. The Kaledorei are a brilliant use of the Dark Elf trope. Rather than being evil, they were wild. The females worshipped the moon, while them took the form and nature of wild beasts. Combat-wise, as it is WARcraft, afterall, they made the Elves a unique blend that doesn't exist anywhere else.

DM:

Warhammer: Single-handedly responsible for the Elves are Assholes deconstruction that we still have to live through.

Gnomes

Gnomes are near and dear to my heart, but I honestly don't like any of their designs.

Lion of Cynn: Yes, again, my own world. I worked hard to account for their disparate nature.

World of Warcraft: Unfortunately, we never truly see Gnomes until WoW. There are a couple of Gnomish units that established them as Tinker Gnomes, but that was it. Which was unfortunately the best Gnomish design. Unfortunately because of how WoW destroyed not just Warcraft, but every - single - thing that Blizzard would go on to produce.

Beastfolk

Very common in anime, for one simple reason. Catgirls. Catgirls that are oppressed. Catgirls that the protagonist can legally enslave, and then treat her better than she had ever been treated before to earn her undying loyalty. Unfortunately, because it's Japan, they tend to just have animal ears, and maybe a tail. This does match some descriptions of Youkai in Japan, however. Many of whom could actually transform into a much larger, more monstrous form.

Unicorn Overlord: This establishes the different beastfolk as bloodlines. Each race is unique, into the world and in combat, and perfectly strides the line of animal and man. The characters also pay respect to various mythologies.

Monster Girl Doctor: MonMusu did a lot of research into making the animal girls truly unique, but it's main flaw was a complete lack of a story. This was solved in Monster Girl Doctor by making him a doctor, and as such we ended up with a much more fleshed out world, that has history, weight, and... cute monster girls.

Cat Planet Cuties: A complete parody of the entire history of science fiction with beautiful, soulful characters. The premise is that Earth makes first contact with aliens, and they are cute catgirls, who are in a cold war with cute doggirl aliens. And they act the perfect combination of Human and Cat(girl).

Mushoku Tensei: Mushoku Tensei is the ancestor of most modern Isekai stories. Or, to put it another way, 95% of Isekai stories are a cheap knockoff of it. Every single facet of the world that Mushoku Tensei delves into, it does in fantastic, beautiful, and horrifying detail. And one of the things they did was visit the recent Wolf Girl's tribal home.

Arifureta: One of the only isekai anime to actually... differentiate their Beastfolk. Not just from Humans, but from each other. And, to be honest, Shea is one of my favourite characters of all time in anime.

RWBY Chibi/Fanworks: RWBY gave us a wide variety of Beastfolk in the Faunus, and then did practically nothing with them. To be fair to V1-5 seasons, V1-3 had 3-5min episodes, and 4-5 was resolving the storylines already created. V6+ has no such excuse. But then RWBY Chibi just wanted to have fun. They gave Faunus the traits of their animals, and this encouraged the fans to have even more fun with it than they were already having.

[i-revolve-around-you]

I think it's about time I wrote a proper introduction post

Hey y'all, welcome to my blog! I'm a tumblr veteran but decided to start over on a new account recently. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

🎵 the basics 🎵

nick ~ 28 ~ he/him ~ bi ~ white author ~ musician ~ gamer ~ nerd multi-fandom/shitposting this blog will be (mostly) SFW, but i still would rather not have minors following me. i just prefer interacting with adults, sorry. it's not personal. my likes, however, will be N/SFW, so be warned

my messages and ask box are always open! feel free to hit me up!

more info (including other links, and a list of fandoms/things i like) under the cut

tags: my ramblings | my face

🤩 a bit more about me 🤩

heya! the name's nick. i've been on tumblr since like...2011 or so? i was really big into it in my college years (2012-2017) but after The Great Tumblr Porn Ban of 2017 I've sorta been drifting in an out. When The Great Twitter Debacle of 2022 happened, I decided to migrate back on a new account so I could start fresh.

this account was immediately suspended because of my side-blog. which was a bit too unsafe for work for tumblr's guidelines ig 🙄 not mentioning that they had just recently updated their policy and everything i was posting was PERFECTLY FINE under them but w/e

so i started another one lmao and that's the one that you're looking at right now! my other account has since been restored but at that point I was already situated over here so like. whatever i guess. lol

i'm currently 28, and bisexual. semi-recently out of the closed as bi, actually. for years i identified as gay, but over time i started realizing "actually...i do kinda like girls?" i still identified as "gay" cuz it was easier than saying "so like i'm bi-sexual but mostly homo-romantic but also maybe potentially demi-sexual but only when it comes to real people?" then around 2020 it just kinda clicked with me, and the label of "bisexual" just felt right

anywho you didn't come here for my full life story. here's just a little bit more about me:

i'm a total nerd. i love video games, playing Yugioh, DND (just starting to get into that one), etc. i'm a writer. i've written several fanfics (some of which i'm really proud of, some of which i'm...less), and have a goal of one day publishing a novel (my main genre is YA contemporary with queer themes and characters). i'm a musician. i actually got my bachelor's degree in music (BA in Music). my main instrument is drums/percussion, but i'm learning a bit of guitar and can play a little bit of piano. i'm also a composer/songwriter, though haven't been writing as much these days. if i write anything cool i'll be sure to post it here!

🎭 the artist formerly known as 🎭

previous account: @excuuuseme-princess other previous urls: musicdork, sincerely-whelmed, futuremehatesme, @nickplayswhat, @spearfeld, among others, probably

🔍 other places to find me 🔎

tumblr sideblog (N/SFW, seriously be warned): @fadingfast1 twitter: @libromancerfire n/sfw twitter (again...be warned): @whatifitspriv tiktok: @libromancer_fireburst ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkjaden825698

⚔ fandoms/things i like ⚔

Books 📚

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Orphan X series by Gregg Hurwitz

Darius the Great is Not Okay / Darius the Great Deserves Better by Adib Khorram

TV shows 📺

Arrowverse (especially Legend of Tomorrow [r.i.p. 😢])

Doctor Who

Travelers

Manifest

Movies 📽

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

Love, Simon

Cartoons/Anime 🍞

Yu-Gi-Oh! (DM, GX, 5Ds, ZeXal, Arc-V, currently watching VRAINS and Sevens, have yet to start Go-Rush)

Code Lyoko*

Video Games 🎮

Resident Evil (played all mainline games, some spinoffs, faves are RE2make, Village, and Revelations 2, Ethan Winters is my husband)

Horizon (Zero Dawn, Forbidden West)

Persona (mostly 3 and 5, still need to finish 4, but Kanji is bae)

Fire Emblem (have played all except FE1, 2, 3, and about halfway through 5 but keep losing interest, Engage was FANTASTIC, but Ike is my favorite character)

Zero Escape (999, VLR, ZTD, Sigma Klim is my husband)

Life is Strange (particularly LiS2, but I love them all)

The Legend of Zelda

Golden Sun*

Music Artists 🎼

Paramore

Neck Deep

The Wonder Years*

Other

Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG

*fandoms/media I was once very involved in, but not as much anymore, still enjoy though fandoms/media i consider to be some of my faves/am very active in will (try and remember to) update as new things become relevant to me lmfaoo

[withtheworms]

Vow or Never

aka Bridal AU

aka “this started as a shitpost and we’re not sorry” by Type & Wormy

Vow or Never (Bridal AU) is a modern/contemporary “slice of life” AU, featuring an ensemble cast pulled from UTMV and having basically nothing to do with Undertale the video game by Toby Fox.

The main plot follows the interactions between twin brothers, Dream and Nightmare. Nightmare is a divorce lawyer and CEO of Nim & Son law. Dream is the owner and manager of Vow or Never, a high-end bridal shop that specializes in wedding planning. For four years the brothers have been estranged from one another due to unresolved traumatic events surrounding and involving the death of their mother. However, situations that unfold over the course of the AU force the twins back in contact with one another, and, for better or for worse, draw them back into each other’s lives.

Main Cast

Main Plot

When he fails in every way at being a lawyer, Cross- a former member of Nightmare’s law firm- is relocated to work for Nightmare’s twin brother, Dream, at Vow or Never, the family’s high-end bridal store. The transfer is meant to remove stress from Nightmare, who can no longer put up with Cross’ bleeding-heart incompetence. However, the arrangement merely serves to bring Dream back into Nightmare’s life (after 4 years of being estranged- as well as an entire childhood spent in opposition to one another). Now in their 30s, the twins are forced to reckon with their frosty relationship with each other, even as Dream navigates a burgeoning romantic relationship with Cross, Nightmare finds himself fostering feelings for his right-hand-man, Killer, and no one’s feelings stay neatly within their contained relationships.

Meanwhile, Blue- a longtime member of Dream’s bridal store staff- is increasingly at a loss with the hot-and-cold treatment from Error (a fellow staff-member) and Error’s long-term boyfriend Ink (an internet-famous influencer). Pushed to the brink by their overt hostility (Error) and overblown flirting (Ink), Blue finally confronts the two about his feelings, and finds himself unexpectedly drawn into a mess of unresolved trauma involving complicated exes, misinterpreted connections, and things that were maybe better left in the past… while simultaneously discovering that by starting to date Ink and Error, he has stumbled into a relationship with the absolute loves of his life.

All of this unfolds against the backdrop of preparing for Sans and Red’s (Blue’s lifelong friends- and exes) wedding.

Bridal AU is a BEI (BlueErrorInk) and eventual KCRM (KillerCrossDreamNightmare) AU, with bits of Kustard, DustyRottenCrops, SpicyHoney, and [spoilers] thrown in for flavour. The basic relationships for Part 1 break down into:

This fic won’t be written in chronological order, and will be broken up into many (many) drabbles, short series, and one-shots. The rough timeline for Part 1 is as follows:

The first part of the series can be read on AO3!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/30332241

It started as a shitpost and now we’re here. Vow or Never, baby