#basically Sophie at this point
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Young adult contemporary coming-of-age story (releases 4/16, I read an early copy from Netgalley)
Follows two first-year students at Wellesley College who run dueling anonymous advice columns and befriend each other in real life as they bonded over both being aroace, unaware of the other's internet identity
Platonic love story
Explores themes like aroace identity, finding community, being the queer child of immigrants, and trying to find your place in the world as a young adult looking towards the future
Love letter to platonic/familial love and finding community
Aromantic asexual Chinese American protagonist; aromantic asexual gender-questioning/nonbinary (she/they) protagonist; lots of QPOC side characters
#i got an arc of this and read in basically one day while on a road trip!#i found it very engaging/easy to read#the feud between the main characters is very petty but they're both still quite likable#sophie is very relatable to me as someone who until recently was also a type-a student at a liberal arts college#i think the characters balance each other out very well also#like sophie is very organized and jo is a bit more of a mess#but jo is also less confident in her identity#this talks a lot about aroace identity and i hope that will make a lot of people feel seen#personally i really loved seeing a college coming-of-age story about friendship#because the friendships i formed in college were personally wayyy more important to me than dating#so even though i don't identify as aroace part of me still felt very seen#(that and i knew a lot of aspec people in college)#their feud is kind of petty and terminally online but that's kind of the point in the end#okay i do have to say though#jo's music taste as a dj is SO basic#also this comped to loveless and the half of it so it did amuse me that those are name-dropped in the story#actually there are some aro/ace books that are mentioned though not by name#i think i caught a reference to elatsoe and another one to fire becomes her?#that was cute ngl#dear wendy#ann zhao#2023 reads#lulu speaks#lulu reads#lulu reads dear wendy#books
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(iām making basically translation of my previous post thatās fully in Russian) ļæ¼
today I watched an old Soviet two episode show called Ordinary Miracle, which I havenāt seen since I was a kid. however, while I was watching it, I realize that two of the characters the Wizard and his wife are basically just Howl and Sophie from Howlās Moving Castle.ļæ¼
because the wizard is on one hand trying to live normally, but also turned a bear into a human just for his own amusement? (but also itās heavily implied he did it because he wanted the bear to feel love and get to be human) and his wife, who is ginger by the way, just like book Sophie, is basically his conscience telling him that itās inhumane to force the bear to be human if he doesnāt want to be.
oh, and also the movie starts off with the line my wife who Iāve been in love with since I was a boy- which is literally Howl.
but yeah, itās on YouTube if youāre into subbed surreal soviet musicals from the 70s!
#howls moving castle#howl pendragon#sophie hatter#ordinary miracle#soviet film#The bear is a sweetheart#and the wizard and his wife basically treat him like a son#I didnāt even mention that to turn back into a bear he has to kiss a princess who is in love with him#and at one point the princess dressed as a man duels him#they have a very queer sword fight#its very much ado about nothing#moss russian posting
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Every time I stay up past 8 I lose another precious brain cell
#sophie speaks#why am i so old man core#every other 20 year old i know stays up till midnight at least#i mean ive been that and much much worse#to the point i was basically nocturnal#but now my sleep schedule is like this#more proof everyone was bullshitting about it being something ypu can control because i have no idea why im like this now#i LIKE sleeping in im in pain in the mornings it sucks#idk idk#im tired sleep time
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leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh š¤· just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.
#leverage my beloved <3#ramble#leverage#i also feel the need to point out that. while yes sophie did show up to her own funeral twice. she also technically was the driver to bring#her own ''corpse'' to wherever interpol was sending it lmfao#re: eliot being made a celeb 3 times bc some people are confusedācountry singer; baseball player; hockey player#didnt count the knockout job bc i think that was p local focused? could be wrong#re: character who killed a man w a mop = mikel dayan (hitter from the two live crew job)#this post is getting people interested in leverage lets goooooooo#this post has also officially surpassed the number of people i expected to ever know or care about leverage by several thousands#bc even though logically i know it aired as an actual tv show over several years and a lot of people probably saw it#that does not compute in my head#leverage spoilers
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NFWMB - part 1
Summary: āHarry is a retired boxer who owns a gym and teaches self-defense classes. He considers himself a strong man, but when a gorgeous innocent woman attends a try-out class, she manages to leave him weak in the kneesā¦ā
Wc: 4.3k
Tropes: boxer!Harry x innocent!reader
Warnings: mentions of violence and SA
A/N: hello everyone! This is my new series NFWMB, named after one of Hozierās most horny songsš. I am so incredibly excited for this series omg itās gonna be so good!!! If you donāt believe me, go listen to NFWMB and youāll get a vague idea of whatās coming ;)
P.S. header = pov change
General Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Harry Styles was not one for regrets.
His life may not have turned the way he expected it to, but he was still proud of where he had come.
Being a professional boxer was a risky job, and Harry had known that when he had decided that it was going to be his career. But there was no other logical option. Harry was an exceptional boxer who was able to go pro at age 18, where he defeated a lot of men who were older and bigger than him.
It was his passion, it always had been. Which was something that was quite remarkable, especially to his closer family members, because Harry was anything but a violent person in his day to day life. He was quite reserved, and managed his temper very well. The years in the boxing ring did harden him quite a bit, his reserved nature developing into something more akin to stoicism.
Nevertheless, Harry loved boxing. It wasn't so much a fight to him, but more of a puzzle. Each opponent had its own made up riddle, and it was up to Harry to solve it as quick as possible. Much like a dance you learn the steps to along the way. A perfect combination of intuitive technique.
He hadn't planned on having to retire at the age of 27 already. It was supposed to be his peak; it had been for almost all boxers in history, and he was looking forward to how far he would be able to push his body during his prime.
He never got the opportunity to get an answer to those questions. A car accident got in the way.
He wouldn't have been able to stop it, he knew that, and he had forbidden himself from thinking about what could've happened had he not taken that specific road back home that horrible night. There was nothing he could do about it now, so there was no point in dwelling on it.
After a year of recovery, he was slowly able to get back into the rhythm of his old life again. Well, except for the boxing part. Knowing that his career in that field was over, he began thinking about some other options of his, and decided on fulfilling another dream of his: opening a gym.
He had always wanted to do it, but he always imagined to be retired by the time he would start on that.
Now, two years later, his gym was already in multiple locations, but Harry was still working at the first one he opened. He would visit the other ones every once in a while to see how everything was going, but he was mainly at the one nearest to his house. It was special to him, the place where it all started.
Despite running the place, and therefore not needing to be on location all the time, Harry was at the gym 24/7. He wasn't a personal trainerāwasn't really his styleābut he would help people and teach self defense classes to women.
Every Thursday between 6 and 9, he would teach groups of ten women everything they needed to know on defending themselves from whatever threat they may run into. It was one of the things he was proudest of; the turn out at those classes. That these women put their trust in him, and let him help them become even tougher than they already were.
Tonight, after teaching the last group, Harry had gone to the bar with some of his friends. One of them was Sophie, a woman he had become friends with since she'd joined his self defense class. She was a great person with an impeccable sense of humor, and Harry was glad he had introduced her to Greg, his best friend. They were basically made for each other.
Harry had to admit that he envied his friend for the relationship he had. He was happy for them, but sometimes couldn't help but think that his lack of a partner was this one puzzle piece that would make his life even better. All in good time, he reminded himself.
"Hey," Sophie caught Harry's attention when she waved her hand in front of his face. His gaze shot to hers, eyebrows raised. "So, I was talking about your self defense class today at work. You know, promoting your business and all."
Harry chuckled at the cocky tone in which Sophie told her story, chin up high. He mumble a soft 'thanks', to which she grinned.
"You're welcome. Anyways, I have this new colleague and she seemed so intrigued by it, but she was too insecure about joining. I meanā she didn't outright say that, but I could just tell." She huffed, Greg rubbing her back. Sophie was a very happy person in general and wanted the best for everyone, this new colleague of hers included. Harry had the same habit, it's why he immediately suggested:
"Why don't you invite her along next week? A free try-out."
"But your try-out classes aren't for another two weeks." Sophie noted.
It was true. The self defense classes had become very popular, and since Harry taught them himself, he had scheduled one night of try-out classes a month. He was only able to take on so many people, but he didn't mind making this exception.
"She can join your regular class." Harry shrugged, and Sophie's eyes beamed with excitement.
"Thank you Harry!" She squealed happily, giving Greg a hug to channel her enthusiasm. "Oh, I hope she'll come along!"
"I'm sure she will." Harry assured her with a smile, and took another sip from his beer.
Y/N had never been one for risks.
She had never been the type of person to take the leap of faith, relying more on familiar feeling of security. Why risk hurting yourself when you could be safe and content?
It was the logic she had always operated with, the logic she had been taught from a very young age. Y/N had had a sheltered upbringing. Her parents wanted her and her little brother to be as safe as possible, and that was just fine to Y/N.
Her little brother was the more feisty one of the two, and his childhood consisted of a lot of fighting. It hurt Y/N to see the people she loved so much be so angry all the time, and it only motivated her to be as good as possible. She never drank, smoked, or went to parties. She turned in her homework early and got an A on almost every test. It did put a strain on her relationship with her brother, especially since Y/N's behavior would be used as ammunition towards him.
They still didn't talk all too much, but Y/N hoped that one day, she could repair that relationship again.
Moving a few towns away was a big deal for her parents, but the wonderful job she had gotten as a secretary at quite a prestigious law firm had made it all worth it. They helped her with moving into her apartment, but Y/N would regularly visit them on both weekdays and on the weekends. All in all, she'd had a safe, comfortable, content life.
Until a few months ago.
It was a Friday night, and Y/N had agreed to a date. One of the lawyers at the firm, Oscar, had been flirting with her ever since she started working there. Not wanting to be impolite, Y/N never outright rejected him, and so the flirting continued. She was a bit uncomfortable about it ā especially since he was nearing his forties and she was only 23 ā but figured the banter was part of the job. She was so shocked when he did ask her to go on a date, she said yes.
It wouldn't be too bad, she figured. She would just go on the date and tell him she wasn't interested afterwards. It could be casual, and no one would be too hurt. The date was definitely out of her carefully moderated comfort zone, but she would step out of it for one night.
The date was fine. Like she had expected, she wasn't interested in Oscar in a romantic way. Still, she listened to his stories, laughed right on cue at all his jokes, and told some of her own anecdotes as well. The dinner was great, and he even offered to walk her home.
They were nearing Y/N's apartment when Oscar had suddenly slowed down his walking pace. She only noticed when she was a few feet away from him, and walked back to where Oscar was standing.
"Are you okay? We're almost there, I promise." Y/N smiled politely, much like she did in the office. Oscar didn't say anything in response, only the corners of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly.
"You're so beautiful, do you know that?" HeĀ complimented her, and Y/N looked at her feet, not quite knowing how to handle the flattery.
"Thank you." She said softly, and froze when Oscar's fingers tilted her chin upwards. Her eyes widened when he suddenly leaned in and put his mouth on hers. After the first few seconds of pure shock slowly passed, Y/N pulled her head back.
Not getting the hint, Oscar grinned and leaned in again, this time with both his hands on her face. Y/N let out a yelp, stumbling backwards. Her body's alarm bells were ringing so loudly, but Oscar must've been deaf to her body language because he backed her up against the wall and kept kissing her.
Y/N cried out as she tried to push Oscar off with her hands, but he only grabbed them and pinned them above her head. Finally, not knowing what else to do, she lifted her knee and kicked him right in the crotch. Oscar shot backwards, groaning loudly as his grip finally loosened on her. He looked incredibly angry.
"What the fuck?!" He bellowed, standing up straight again. Y/N's lip quivered, tears running down her face.
"You wouldn't stop." She said softly, almost in a whisper. Her entire body was shaking from the adrenaline. Oscar's mouth opened to say something, but the conversation got interrupted.
"Oscar!" A woman's voice shouted from down the street. He turned his head, and his face morphed from sheer rage into a lovely smile, the same one he always put up for Y/N back in the office.
"Sophie!" He said, but the mention of her name sounded strained. Sophie... Y/N recognized her name, but she hadn't ever met the woman. She was one of the three female lawyers at the firm. Had been working there for only five years, but her reputation was so badass, everyone knew who she was.
"What are you doing out tonight?" Sophie asked as she gave Oscar a hug, and turned to Y/N. "Who's this?"
"This is Y/N." Oscar replied. "She's a secretary at the firm."
"Nice to meet you." Y/N extended her hand, and Sophie shook it.
"Nice to meet you too! How come I've never seen you around?" She tilted her head.
"Iā I work on a different floor."
"Well, I'm glad I met you, Y/N!" She said, the kindness in her tone being a real comfort after that scary moment she just had to live through. Somewhere in the way she said it, and in the way her eyes softened slightly, it almost felt like Sophie knew.
"Iā I should go. It's getting pretty late." Y/N decided that this could be her sweet escape.
"Right, I'm gonna bring Y/N home." Oscar said, and your eyes shot to him. Anxiety filled your lungs until all you could breathe was fear. You didn't want to be alone with him. You had no idea what he would be able to do to you. What were you going to do about it? You weren't even half as strong as he was.
"Oh, which way is it?" Sophie asked, turning to Y/N, who was about to open her mouth but got interrupted by Oscar.
"That way." He pointed toward the direction of Y/N's house. Sophie side eyed her colleague, then nodded.
"Exactly the way I was going! Let's go." She hooked her arm into Y/N's, and began walking, ranting about how it was unacceptable that they didn't work on the same floor.
Y/N wordlessly nodded along, filled with gratefulness to Sophie or the universeāor bothāfor not leaving her alone with Oscar again.
She got home safely about five minutes later, not daring to look Oscar in the eyes as she hugged him and said goodbye, and she only allowed her tears to fall down her cheek when she closed her front door.
Y/N spent the rest of the weekend in bed, not in the mood to do anything. By Monday, she felt both better and worse. She had had some time to come down from the shock of what happened, but the terror that filled her at the realization that she was to see Oscar again, had her stomach turn. On Monday morning, she even got into work late as a result of a wave of nausea that hit her once she'd grabbed her keys, spending the time she used to drive to work to puke her guts out instead.
Later, she'd found out that Oscar had called in sick that day. It gave her some time and space to breathe. Sophie visited her the same day, and she hadn't stopped visiting since.
Oscar did eventually return to work, but they never talked anymore. Y/N didn't dare to look him in the eye, and she avoided him at all costs. One day, about two weeks after everything happened, she did see him waiting by her cubicle, but she hid in the toilet for half an hour and by the time she returned he was gone.
It had been two months since that horrible event, and Y/N had entirely isolated herself. Back to the normal routine, back to what was familiar. It gave her a sense of control. She was fragile, and sensitive. She had just pressed down her sadness and anxiety that lingered as a result from the date, and instead focused entirely on what she could control.
She figured it would be easier. Well, except for the mental breakdowns she'd get when something small didn't go right. The dishes not being cleaned, her vacuum not taking up every speck of dust; it just set her off. It wasn't healthy, but she had no idea how else to deal with these things.
When Sophie mentioned she was following self-defense classes a couple weeks ago, Y/N's ears had perked up. She tried to be subtle about it; asking questions to pry some information about the classes from her. But, being the amazing lawyer she was, it didn't go over Sophie's head, and before she knew it she had an invite to a class.
"See you next week!" Harry exclaimed as the last of the women from the 7pm class left the room. He was still busy putting everything back into place before the next class which would commence in about five minutes.
He was just about done with everything when Sophie walked in, another girl walking in close behind her. Harry couldn't really make up her face, as she stayed closely behind Sophie, even upon nearing him.
Sophie looked proud, probably feeling very accomplished about the fact that she had been able to convince this colleague of hers to take her up on her offer.
"Hey!" She greeted Harry cheerfully, giving him a quick hug. He was still smiling when he turned to the woman standing next to Sophie. His mouth went a bit dry when he took in her face.
"Harry, this is Y/N."
For starters, she was a bit shorter than Sophie, and quite frail too. Her hair was up in a ponytail, leaving her features to be admired out in the open. Her eyes were softāradiating mostly insecurity at the momentāand wide. Those Bambi eyes and plump, rosy lips...
She looked so... innocent?
He wasn't sure if it was the right word, but he was sure that he had to say something before the silence became too long.
"Hi Y/N." He repeated her name, seeing the slightest flicker of surprise run through the eyes of the woman in front of him. But the slight relaxation of her body told him that his usual trick was working. It was a typical 'strategy' that he would often use with people who were a bit unsure about him. His voice would soften, he would always wear a hint of a smile on his face, and he'd repeat people's names to create a bit more of a familiar environment. It always worked, and he was glad it did. He never wanted anyone, especially a woman, to feel uncomfortable around him.
"Hi." The corners of her mouth tugged up.
Angel.
That's all he could think of as he looked at her. Jesus Christ, she was beautiful.
"Thank you for joining the class. You don't have to join in on everything if you don't feel comfortable. Just observe and see if this is something you would like to practice more often, okay?"
The girl in front of him nodded intently the second he had finished talking. Her eyes widened ever so slightly before she peeped out an, "okay."
Harry grinned, his gaze shooting to Sophieāwho was looking at him with this suspicious look on her face that she only got once in a whileābefore calling everyone in a circle and commencing the class.
This girl, Y/N, turned out to be a real distraction for him. He was so focused on trying to read how she was feeling that he trailed off during explanations a couple times. It was embarrassing, really. He was a grown man for God's sake, why couldn't he just concentrate?
Y/N only joined in for a couple of the basic movements, but she stayed back for most of the class. Her big eyes observed every movement Harry and the others made, impressed with how developed everyone seemed to be in their techniques. He noted that it only seemed to make her more timid, though.
His eyebrows kept knitting every time he looked at her, getting lost in his thoughts on how he could help her become more comfortable in his class. She'd caught his stare about halfway through the class, and at the way her eyes shot to the floor he realized that his gaze was actually doing the completed opposite of what he wanted to do, which was help her.
When the class ended, Harry gave his usual speech about how good everyone had done their job, and that he would see them all next week. Afterwards there would always be a couple of women hanging around to ask questions, and he would stop a few on their way out to compliment their improvements. When the rest of the women had left, Sophie walked up to Harry, Y/N following closely behind.
"Great class, Styles. Thanks for teaching me some ass kicking again." She teased, smiling at him before she took a sip from her water bottle.Ā Harry chuckled, shaking his head faintly.
"Glad you liked it." He turned to Y/N. "What about you?"
Her cheeks started heating up, mouth falling open ever so slightly. "Mā me? Oh, uhm, yeah, pretty good."
"I'm going to use the bathroom really quick, I'll be right back." Sophie chimed in, and began walking towards the door. "Keep her company for me, will ya Styles?"
Harry almost laughed at how Y/N's eyes nearly popped out of her sockets at Sophie's announcement. She was nervous around him, and it was quite endearing, but she didn't need to be. Although it was very cute, Harry wanted her to be comfortable around her.
"You hated it, didn't you?" He said as soon as Sophie was out of sight. Harry was amused, watching Y/N scramble for words when she realized what he had said.
"What? No, no of course not! You're great! Teacherā you're a great teacher, I mean." She stumbled over every last one of her words, making it sound even less convincing than it already was, even though she did really mean it.
Harry solely raised his eyebrow, indicating that he did not buy any of that, and it was all it took for her shoulders to slump and a little sigh to leave those pretty lips of hers.
"It's really not you, I promise. I just get... a bit nervous in group settings, especially when it comes to sports. I don't even go to the gym." She confessed, and Harry nodded. That certainly made more sense. His heart warmed a bit at the fact that she reassured him that he wasn't the reason she wasn't liking the class all too much.
"Why don't you go to the gym?" Harry asked further, his tone soft. He didn't want to press too much, but he did want to know more about her.
"It's... embarrassing." She shrugged. Harry chuckled.
"I go to the gym all the time. I mean, I own this one. I can only imagine how embarrassing I must be."Ā He joked. He had to say he thought it was pretty funny, the way she blushed as he teased her.
"No, I didn't mean it like that! You're not embarrassing at allā I mean, youāre like the opposite. You're lean, and strong. You have likeā big arms and you know what you're doing." She ranted, and had no idea how much Harry's ego was fueled by the compliments she was unknowingly throwing at him. "Whereas Iā I have no idea what to do at a gym. I hate the idea of people being able to watch me and judge me if they want. Not that I think everyone's focusing on me all the time! Iā I don't think that..."
Y/N's heart was racing as she finally got herself to stop talking. It was a nervous habit she had always possessed. As soon as something got awkward, her mouth would open and it would just never shut again. All communication skills flew out the window as soon as something ā or in this case someone ā made her nervous. She couldn't even remember half the words she just said.
"I can teach you, if you want."
The offer was as unexpected to Y/N as it was to Harry. He hadn't quite anticipated the words rolling off his tongue, but he didn't regret them either.
"It'll be a private class, and it can be in a closed room, like this one, or after closing time. Whatever suits you." Harry tried his hardest to sound casual, and not like what he was offering was something he literally never did. He had to hire a cleaner at home because he was too busy to get around to cleaning the house, that's how much he had to do. But the prospect of losing even more free time did not seem to bother him at all. In fact, he hoped Y/N would take him up on his offer as he scanned her face and waited for her to say something.
"No, I wouldn't want to ask that of you. I'm sure you're busy with a lot of other things." She declined politely, but he didn't miss the glimmer of hope in her eyes. Those private classes had sounded intriguing to her, he just knew it. So instead of accepting her rejection, he shrugged.
"How about this. I'm always in till late on Tuesday's. If you're sure you don't want private lessons, that's fine. But if it does sound like something you want to do, just be there at 9. I'll be there either way." Harry suggested. He didn't wait for a response ā hearing Sophie's footsteps nearing ā and instead said,
"Just think about it, alright?"
Y/N merely nodded, not even able to croak out a 'yes' before Sophie walked back into the room.
"Okay, I'm ready to go. Y/N?" Sophie asked, watching as her friend agreed and grabbed her things before walking towards the door where Sophie stood.
"Thanks for the class." Y/N turned around and smiled at Harry, throwing him a small wave as she started following Sophie out the door.
"Anytime." He winked at her.
"Bye Styles!" Sophie shouted, her keys clinking as she waved at Harry, behind her.
"Bye Soph." Harry called out, his eyes still transfixed on the girl behind his friend.
He didn't take her eyes off her as they walked towards the exit, taking in every detail of her delicate body as she moved further and further away from him. She was painstakingly beautiful. How had she just walked in? As soon as the girls disappeared behind the door, Harry let out a big sigh.
"Fuck." He murmured under his breath.
He really hoped Y/N would take him up on his offer. Harry had very quickly and very suddenly developed this intense need to help the girl, and that couldn't mean anything good.
Maybe he'd never see her again. She did sound very unsure. Besides, who said that she even wanted to go to this class? For all Harry knew, Sophie could've just used her manipulative convincing tricks, and Y/N, the polite angel she was, would've felt too bad to decline. Maybe, she thought he was an ass and didn't want anything to do with him.
In spite of the countless theories flying through his head, he knew that she wanted it. He had seen it in her eyes. She did really want to join the class, she was simply too nervous. But whether she would take him up on the offer, that was the question. He'd have to wait until the following week.
Strangely enough, he couldn't wait until it was Tuesday. He couldn't wait to find outā¦
#harry styles#fanfic#writing#fanfiction#blurb#harry#one direction#smut#one shot#excerpt#harry styles fic#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry edward styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles one shot#harryedwardstyles#harry styles angst#harry styles fan fic#harry styles smut#harry styles x fem!reader
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I don't know if y'all noticed, but Colin Bridgerton is a match-making mamma!
In season 2 he pushed Anthony and Kate together, when he knocked Kate's ball next to Anthony's. And he did it with a SMIRK.
In Benedict's story he told Benedict to get his shit together and marry Sophie right away, no matter her status.
In Francesca's story he told Michael basically the same thing.
In Gregory's story he literally sat in a tree by Greg's side, spying on his brother's match.
The mammas should give him an honorary doctorate at this point.
Too bad bitch is so blind to his own match, lol.
#bridgerton#colin bridgerton#bridgerton netflix#anthony bridgerton#kate bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#sophie beckett#penelope featherington#francesca bridgerton#michael stirling#gregory bridgerton#an offer from a gentleman#when he was wicked#on the way to the wedding
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So, I watched Joker: Folie a Deux, and i enjoyed it... but, oh boy, is this gonna be divisive...
The cinematography was still great, Hildur's score was hauntingly gorgeous, and the musical element plays into the theme of fantasy vs. reality.
This film gets meta as fuck because I'm pretty sure I heard every single "yikes, you missed the point" argument for and against the 2019 film said in this sequel. Yes, the fans who clearly didn't get that Arthur descending violent madness was a BAD THING... and the critics who clearly didn't get that Arthur was a damaged, abused victim and just saw a violent maniac. And judging by the "haha, fans are gonna hate this film, stupid incels!1!1!" reaction from the same critics who hated the first film... looks like they still don't fucking get it! Because the film "hates" them too! Does Todd Phillips have to literally pause the film and explain the plot a la Hitchcock- actually no, they still wouldn't get it.
Also the bit about court trials and the media not giving a shit about the actual people (ESPECIALLY the victims - that whole bit with Sophie made me go "wow, Harvey, you're a piece of shit") and just wanting sensationalism? Totally not relevant now(!)
Soooo... yep, depressing, kind of a chaotic mess, but I thought it was a pretty solid film. And a fascinating and hilarious meta analysis that's basically a PSA for media literacy.
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The Ultimate Anti-Keefe Sencen Rant (Part One: Keeper through the first half of Unlocked)
taglist: @ahoyimlosingmymind @lucyshypemaster @myfairkatiecat @lilliesandlight @noideawhattodoorsay @sacrificialloving @i-want-to-be-hit-by-a-car @loreintheaether @whatistheretofearlookatrunfrom
Disclaimers before I start:
Do not, I repeat, do not hit that read more button right now. You will regret it. I promise you, you want to open this post in a new tab before you hit that button. This post brings new meaning to the word "long". To give you some numbers, this post is about 75 pages long in Google Docs, size 12 Times New Roman font. It took me more than three hours to read through it. You shouldn't expect to read this entire thing in one sitting. Do not, under any circumstances, hit that button without opening this post in a new tab. I'm warning you.
This rant will be very biased against Keefe. I'm only listing the things I do not like about Keefe. I have not listed a single thing I enjoy about him, few that there are. So if you're going into this looking for an unbiased "pros and cons" analysis, you've come to the wrong place. This is not an analysis. This is a rant. Do not confuse the two.
I will only list things I do not like about Keefe. If you want to argue that "oh, but [other character] did that too, and you didn't mention them!!!" that's because I'm not getting into any gripes with any other characters in this particular post. I despise Forkle just as much as I despise Keefe, for instance, but this is not a Mr. Forkle rant. This is a Keefe rant. This is solely focused on the things I do not like about Keefe. I may or may not agree with you on whether that other character that supposedly did the same thing deserves to be scrutinized for it, but the point still stands that I will not be getting into any Keefe vs. [other character] debates. In my rant, I do occasionally compare Keefe to other characters, but that's just to highlight my points about Shannon's treatment of him.
I am not a Sophitz shipper. I don't ship Sophie with anyone, actually. This rant does not come from a place of "Fitz is a better love interest for Sophie because Keefe sucks so much!!!" I will just put that to bed right now.
Feel free to pick fights with me or tell me that I'm not being fair. Feel free to counter every single one of my arguments. But please don't make bad faith arguments like "Keefe was basically just waiting around for Sophie and Fitz to break up in Legacy!!!" that are just not true in the slightest. (Yes, that is in defense of Keefe, I'm just trying to show an example of a bad faith argument.) I tried my best to be fair and not extrapolate anything beyond what I genuinely think Shannon Messenger intended for the audience to understand. So if you want to make a counter-argument, I kind of expect the same.
I actually really like fanon Keefe. No problems there whatsoever. Every single gripe I have is with canon Keefe. So, obviously I will only be discussing canon Keefe moments in this rant. I won't be talking about fandom issues at all.
My problems arise with both Keefe the person (his personality) and Keefe the character (the way he's written/his character arcs/development), so obviously this will be heavily critical of Shannon Messenger's writing. Just be aware. But I don't hate Shannon. In YouTuber withcindy's words, I find her writing to be unbearable sometimes, but I hope she gets her coin. I don't want this to make anyone hate Shannon. I don't hate her, her writing choices just frustrate me sometimes and I think it's fair to criticize them. There are many things I love about Keeper, like the worldbuilding (I have an entire post in my drafts ranting about how great the world is for the themes Keeper's trying to convey). I directly "address" Shannon at several points, but that's mostly for the sake of not making this a boring slog to get through.
I don't have physical copies of Keeper, Exile, Lodestar, or Nightfall as of the making of this rant. So quotes from those don't have citations. Every other book has a page number. I probably should've cited chapter numbers instead for those four but I didn't think of that at the time. Oh, well.
This will be very negative and discourse-y. I'm not really planning on sugar-coating anything. In my opinion, it's really important to be able to criticize the things you love, and I do love Keeper. So if you want to have a purely positive, uncritical fandom experience, it's probably not a good idea to keep going. Also, if you ship Sokeefe or like Keefe, just be prepared. While I personally do not believe they/he were written well, I understand that some people do enjoy them/him. I don't want this rant to make any people that genuinely love Sokeefe or Keefe start hating them/him. If you don't like Keefe or Sokeefe, you've probably come to the right place.
This entire rant is my personal opinion. We can agree to disagree. I get that some things I say are completely subjective, such as when I talk about Keefe's humor. That doesn't mean I think that anyone who loves Keefe's sense of humor is an idiot. I do use some strong language to describe some things, but that doesn't mean I think people who have different opinions than me are stupid. We just clearly have different tastes when it comes to things like this.
New disclaimer that I need to add right before posting this: I am not that blue anon (or any anti-Sokeefe or anti-Keefe anon). I don't even know how they managed to do that on anon. I also don't think Keefe was emotionally cheating with Sophie in Legacy. That's a completely bizarre statement to make. However, I do find that some of that person's statements are valid, however weirdly and passive-aggressively they made them, but I'm going to try to address it in a more respectful manner. So hopefully, if you continue reading this and you do like Sokeefe or Keefe, you at least understand where I'm coming from.
Keeper
āāI mean, I canāt really blame herāāhe gestured to himselfāābut still, itās awkward, you know?āā I donāt tend to like characters that brag about their looks. I know itās a popular male-love-interest trope, but I canāt stand it. It makes the author feel like theyāre trying way too hard to make the character āāāāāācoolāāāāāā. Yes, I know heās joking, but it quickly goes way too far later.
āFrom his disheveled blond hair to the way heād rolled up his sleeves and left his shirt untucked, she could tellāhe was cool.ā Again, the narrative tries way too hard to get us to buy into the ācool bad boyā thing and it just makes me cringe so hard.
āHe clearly wasnāt going to let it go [ . . . ]ā Just keep in mind, Keefe just met Sophie a second ago and heās already starting to push her for things she doesnāt want to tell. Yes, in this case, it isnāt particularly serious, but this definitely becomes a habit later on.
āāWow, most girls would be crying about a wound like thatāmost guys too. Even Iād be playing it up for sympathy and stuff.āā Going to let this go because they fix Keefeās sexist comments in the graphic novel, so it clearly wasnāt intended for him to come across that way, but Iād just like to say that Iām so tired of the casual sexism in YA novels as a way of making a male love interest seem ācoolerā or āsnarkierā. It makes me cringe every time. (Keefe isnāt the only one thatās like this either. Fitz and Dex both make similarly sexist comments as well earlier: āWhat is it with girls?ā said by Fitz and āGirlsā said by Dex.) It comes across as even more annoying when you consider the whole thing about how the Lost Cities are supposed to be gender-equal. Shannon. What the heck.
āāMakeovers?ā Keefe scoffed behind them. āYou girls sure know how to have fun. Maybe you can braid each otherās hair and giggle about boys while youāre at it.āā Again, Iām going to let this go because they fix it in the graphic novel, but oh, boy. I have no idea what Shannon was thinking when she wrote this. All the guys make sexist comments, but Keefe easily gets it the worst. It just proves my point about how Shannon jacked it all the way up to eleven in an attempt to make Keefe ācoolā and āfunnyā.Ā
āāActually, maybe that last part is a good idea. You could get the dirt on Foster, find out which guys make her heart go pitter-patter.āā This is completely subjective, but I find Keefeās general sense of humor to be incredibly cringy. Like, who talks like that and doesnāt immediately cringe at themselves??? In real life, if someone spoke like that, I can guarantee that everyone around them would laugh at them. Also, he still doesnāt know Sophie very well and he continues to put her on the spot.
āāEh, thatās what they all say. But deep down girls always have one guy they canāt take their eyes offāisnāt that right, Fitz?ā āWhy are we talking about this?ā Fitz complained.ā Say what you will about Fitz, but I will forever be grateful to him for shutting down that nauseatingly cringy shitshow.
āāAw, donāt go getting good at alchemy, Foster.āā Again, this is completely subjective, but I find the way he calls Sophie by her last name to be a cheap trick to make him seem funnier and cooler. Which, in my humble opinion, it doesnāt.
āHe winked, reaching for her hand.ā Again, completely subjective, but my number one pet peeve when it comes to love interests in fiction is winking. Why is it that everytime an author wants to make a guy ācoolā, they just make him wink so much youād believe he has an eye twitching disorder??? Keefe is so unoriginal as a character. I have seen this sort of male love interest a thousand times in a thousand different YA series.Ā
āāItās almost too easy to annoy you, you know that?āā The thing about Keefe is that he doesnāt just joke around. He usually jokes around with the intention to annoy or embarrass someone.Ā
ā[ . . . ] forced instead to sit alone in the corner while Keefe winked at her [ . . . ]ā He winked at her throughout the course of an entire detention??? Wow. Thatās just. Okay.
[cut because character limit]
āāWhat do we have here?ā Keefe asked, snatching a red box from her thinking cap. He was definitely back to his old self without his father around. He glanced at the card and cracked up. āāDear Sophie. I really enjoyed our dance, and I hope we can do it again sometime. Love, Valin.āāā Another example of Keefe making jokes that are just straight up embarrassing for someone else. Also, he just grabbed her present like that without her permission???Ā
āāIām just teasingāsheesh.āā Keefe literally pulled the āBut it was just a joke!ā excuse as justification for putting Sophie on the spot like that. Wow, such a great friend.
āKeefe nudged Dexās arm, then grinned at Sophie. āInteresting.ā āWhat?ā Dex asked. āWhich oneās your gift, Dex?ā Sophie interrupted. She didnāt have to be a mind reader to know what Keefe was going to tease Dex about.ā Here we mark the start of Keefe using his empathy to learn peopleās secrets without their consent. He feels not a hint of remorse for it, and instead uses it as a way to breach peopleās boundaries and embarrass them. As a lot of people have already said, Keefe is the primary reason empathy should have similar restrictions on it to telepathy.Ā
āShe stared at Dex for a minute, so amazed she wanted to hug him. She knew Keefe would have a field day, though, so she fought the urge.ā You shouldnāt be scared to hug your friend in front of your other friend for fear of what the other friend will say.Ā
āHeād hardly looked at her gift when he opened it, too distracted by the tunic Keefe gave him, which had I know what youāre thinkingāand you should be ashamed of yourself embroidered across the front.ā I will give credit where credit is due, though. This was cute as hell. But it also makes me frustrated, because it shows that Keefe can be a good friend if he tries. Itās not like he straight-up doesnāt know how to. He just doesnāt. Which is arguably worse.
āāYeah, busy juggling two girlfriends,ā Keefe interrupted. Alvar grinned. āThree.ā āThree?ā Dellaās voice was as horrified as her expression. āAlvar, thatās awful.ā āAre you kidding? Itās awesome!ā Keefe corrected. āYouāre my hero.āā Thatās right, everyone. The sweet, thoughtful, funny, perfect Keefe dreams of being a cheater one day. What the heck, Shannon? Why would you make a guy you clearly want your audience to like and will eventually be the love interest a wannabe cheater? Itās clearly because she wants to make him seem cool and funny! So hilarious. Although this is more on Alvar. I know the fandom headcanons about polyamory, but given the use of the word ājugglingā, itās more likely that Alvar is a cheater. But I will also assume that this was another product of Keeperās time, and will be changed in the second part of the graphic novel.
āāAll right, enough girly drama,ā Keefe said, shoving his way in. āI was part of the rescue too, remember? Iām the one who knew the tree you told Fitz about was the Four Seasons Tree, so if it werenāt for me . . . āā How self-centered do you have to be to make the rescue about yourself??? Like, my guy. Have some self-awareness. Also, acting like Biana apologizing is just āgirly dramaā instead of a very real emotional moment is so, so degrading (and misogynistic, yippee). Disgusting behavior (which I wouldnāt mind if he ever apologized for it and showed some development, but itās Keefe, so he never does, of course).Ā
āāElla!ā Sophie buried her face between the floppy ears, ignoring Keefeās snickers.ā Imagine laughing at your supposed friend (and crush) during an emotionally and physically devastating recovery period because you found it funny that she sleeps with a stuffed animal.
Exile
āāHey, a guyās gotta look his best for the ladies.ā Keefe patted the back of his head. āRight, Foster?āā Ah, Keefeās trademark cringily atrocious āhumorā starts again.Ā
āāWhy do you need my help? Arenāt you the expert?ā Keefe snickered. āOoh, good one, Foster!āā Another thing I donāt like about Keefe is that Shannon uses him as narration sometimes in order to pat her own back over making a joke. Like here, Sophie makes a comment regarding Vikaās ability to train Silveny, and we, the audience are obviously supposed to be like āOoh, good one, Sophie! Get her ass!ā But instead of just letting the audience have their natural reaction, Shannon feels the need to tell us what she thinks we need to feel. It becomes annoying because Keefe does it so much. Itās like Shannon doesnāt trust that the audience will have the correct reaction, so she has Keefe have that reaction so the audience knows what to feel. Itās basically the writing equivalent of saying āGet it? Do you get the joke? The joke was that Sophie made fun of Vika. Do you get it now?ā This is more a Shannon thing than a Keefe thing, but Keefe gets it the worst.Ā
āāLame. I vote for The Unstoppable Team Keefe! Or Team Foster-Keefe if youāre one of those egomaniacs who needs your name in there. I can share some credit.āā Ah, here we start with Keefeās list of atrocious nicknames for things. Itās one of my least favorite aspects of the way Shannon writes āhumorā.
āāWhat was up with the whole Amazing Flying Foster routine?āā Completely subjective, but I find Keefeās nicknaming tendencies really grating.
āāThatās another day of detention, Mr. Sencen,ā Sir Rosings shouted. āAnd one for you, Miss Foster!ā āOoh, we can be detention buddies again!āā Itās a little thing, but Keefe never feels regret when he gets someone else in trouble. He only lathers it up with more teasing. Iād be so angry if someone got me in trouble and it wasnāt even my fault. Itās just terrible behavior.
āāIām not talking about anyone. Iām talking about you. And I know youāre up to something. I can feel it.ā He grabbed her hand, sucking in a slow breath as the crease between his brows relaxed. āI can feel your hope. Itās not muchābut itās there. And there has to be a reason for it. Besidesāyouāre going to need my help. Who knows the Vackers better than me?āā Keefe uses his empathy to force his way into Sophieās fixing-Aldenās-mind plan. He tries to read her emotions without her permission so that he can use it as justification to get her to let him help. Itās just so icky. He then manipulates Sophie by insisting she needs his help (even though she logically doesnāt).Ā
āāItās a date, Foster!ā Keefe shouted, turning every head in the corridor and making her grit her teeth so hard her jaw hurt. āLooking forward to it.āā Keefe stop humiliating Sophie in front of everyone challenge.Ā
āāWowāyou really sleep with this thing? I thought Fitz was kidding when he gave it to you when you were recovering.ā Sophie snatched Ella away [ . . . ]ā Keefe continues to make fun of Sophie for her stuffed animal tendencies. You know, itās possible to be funny and make jokes without actively tearing people down. But wait, you may say. Keefe shows some development later because he starts to sleep with his own stuffed animal! Doesnāt that mean he learned and grew? No, I would argue back at you. The issue is not actually that Keefe made fun of Sophieās stuffed animal in particular. The issue is that most of Keefe's jokes actively revolve around making fun of someone and putting them down. And that never changes, even later in the series. This is simply one example.
[cut because character limit]
āāThis isnāt nearly as exciting as I thought it would be,ā Keefe complained as Sophie finished explaining her theory about removing Aldenās guilt and how she was trying to track down her own journal. āWhen do we get to, like, fly into the line of fire or sneak away to the Forbidden Cities?āā Another thing I donāt like about Keefe: heās so whiny. For no reason. Shannon loves to use his whininess to make him āāāāāārelatableāāāāāā. And he never develops! Ever! Most of the things I list about Keefe here would be fine if Shannon acknowledged them as character flaws and let Keefe develop. But he never does.
āHe reached out and brushed Gradyās arm. āWhoaāthat is some serious tension radiating off of you. Is it that bad?āā Again, here we see an example of Keefe breaching boundaries and using his ability to get people to tell him things they arenāt comfortable telling him. If Keefe was a Telepath, this would be breaking the law. In case you care.Ā
āāIs that a diary?ā Keefe asked as Sandor handed her the sparkly journal. He tried to snatch it, but Sophie yanked it away just in time.ā I- I don't even have the words to describe how atrocious this behavior is. Keefe just casually tried to invade Sophieās privacy. For a joke. And imagine if she had written something embarrassing in there and heād managed to grab it from her. Heād never stop embarrassing her over it, never stop spilling its contents to other people casually in the name of āhumorā. And heād treat it like a joke, instead of a very serious breach of personal boundaries.
āāShouldāve figured it would have something to do with a boy.ā āI was five, Keefe.ā āWhat, and cute boys didnāt exist when you were five? Well, itās true you hadnāt met me yet, but . . . āā Ah, Keefeās trademark cringy-ass flirtation starts. For the record, I think this might be my least favorite aspect of Keefeās āhumorā. I donāt tend to like characters that go on about how good-looking they are. I just find it so incredibly cringy and tone-deaf. But thatās just my opinion.
āāNow we know they still have the pages. So we just have to figure out a way to steal them back.āā Ah yes, Keefeās straight-up stupidity, which isn't quite my least favorite quality of his, but is the most frustrating. Heās really, really stupid if he thinks he can just. Track down the Black Swan and steal the pages back from the infinite amount of places they could be.Ā
āāHey, Captain Mood Swing,ā Keefe said, gently grabbing her arm.ā Keefeās cringy sense of nicknaming humor continues.Ā
Also Keefeās nickname for Silveny will never not be the most cringeworthy thing in the entire series. His nickname humor is already horrible enough, but combine it with his tendency to crack potty jokes like heās six? Simply atrocious.
āāItās just a theory right nowāI need to think it through.ā āYou mean we,ā Keefe said, hooking his arm through hers. āWe need to think it through. Team Foster-Keefe!āā Keefe stop forcing yourself into Sophieās personal business challenge.
[cut because character limit]
āāSo, let me get this straight,ā Keefe said when Sophie was done explaining the new plan. āWe donāt know where weāre going, or how long itās going to take us to get there, and weāre flying to meet the Black Swanāwho may or may not be evil murderersāand this whole thing could be a trap?ā [ . . . ] āAwesome! āBout time this project got a bit more exciting.āā Keefe is so fucking tone-deaf. He learns they need to go meet the Black Swan (who at that point they thought were maybe-murderers) to heal Sophie and thatās what he says? Wow. Real upstanding guy. It really just shows how he thinks this whole thing is a game, not a serious issue. (Yes, I know he later says that his jokes are a mask and that he does care and see the seriousness in an issue, however that doesnāt change the fact that his jokes are just straight-up insensitive to the people around him.) Also, remember what I said about Shannon using Keefe as narration? She does it like this, too, where sheāll recap a lot of what she just wrote using Keefe as a mouthpiece, just to make sure the audience really gets it. Itās a sign of insecure writing. But itās not boring recap exposition, because a funny character says it! Right, guys?
āāOf course I told them. Sheeshāyou act like Iām some sort of troublemaker.ā He winked.ā Take a shot everytime Keefe winks. You wonāt even make it through half the series. It highlights another issue I have with Keefe. He thinks heās so cool. With the swagger and the winking and the hair and the clothes, he tries way too hard to be āāāāāācoolāāāāāā. And for me it just makes him extra cringy. But thatās completely subjective. Yes, I am aware it is a mask. It does not make it any less cringy. It just doesn't feel like something anyone would ever do in real life. I don't know how to explain that it just feels unrealistically fake. Itās just so . . . try-hard-y to me.Ā
āāNoāfor the millionth time. Youāll know when we are because weāll stop flying.ā āOkay, thatās how Iāll know when weāre there. But how are you going to know?āā Another example of Keefe being intentionally annoying, and another example of Keefe being so stupid you have to wonder if his abusive parents dropped him on his head as a child. Two for one!
Keefe continues to be stupid and annoying on purpose for a few more lines of dialogue during this scene, but itās too much and I donāt want to copy it all. Iāve already put a sample in the previous bullet.Ā
Have to say, I love how annoyed Sophie is by Keefe in Exile. Everytime she is forced to involve him, she expresses visible annoyance. Wish that carried through the entire series.
āBut then he leaned closerāclose enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek as he said, āI know I crack a lot of jokes, Sophie, but . . . thatās just because itās easier, you know? Itās how I deal. But that doesnāt mean I donāt care. I do. A lot.āā Ah, the famous boy-behind-the-jokes confession scene. First of all, why does he need to lean closer and get all up in Sophieās personal space??? Especially since they are already really close together. That is so ugh. Secondly, just because he uses humor as a coping mechanism, doesnāt mean his jokes have to be rude, annoying, embarrassing, cringy, over-the-top, cracked at the wrong times, and just plain stupid. Itās possible to have a sense of humor thatās, get this, actually funny and cheers people up instead of tearing them down.
[cut because character limit]
āāYou donāt have to be. I meant what I told Sandor. Iām not going to let anything happen to you.āā How chivalrous. And how exactly is he going to do that? By being stupid at the kidnappers? Just the fact that Keefe thinks that he can protect Sophie shows how unprepared he is. But seriously, Keefe has only demonstrated stupidity up until this point. I still donāt understand how Grady thought it was a good idea to involve him. Heās just as vulnerable as Sophie, so thatās just a second person thatāll get hurt if something goes wrong. Heās not a bodyguard and he doesnāt have any training or special experience that would qualify him to protect Sophie. Heās just some guy. I think the logic was āSophieāll have a second person to protect her in case of an emergencyā, but that makes no sense, because Keefe canāt bring anything to the table in terms of protection for Sophie. But how else are we going to kickstart a fan-favorite ship?
āHe leaned back, taking his warmth with him. But at least she felt like she could breathe again.ā Yep, Sophie literally felt like she couldnāt breathe because Keefe was all up in her personal space.
Everblaze
āāWant me to push you?ā Keefe offered, laughing as Sophie jerked away from him āCome on, itāll be funāfor me at least.āā (4) I have a physical copy of Everblaze, so I can list page numbers, and boy it didnāt take long for Keefeās jerkish tendencies to show. He literally admits to Sophie that heād find it fun to watch her be uncomfortable, which not only makes him completely selfish, but also somewhat cruel.
āBut he shot Sophie a look that seemed to say, You will tell me everything later [ . . . ]ā (63) Again, an example of Keefe insisting he should be a part of Sophieās personal business. Why does he constantly want to know every single thing she knows? Itās none of his business.
āāDude, what is up with them not rhyming?āā (113) Shannon also does this thing where sheāll make Keefe use the same joke over and over and over. This is only the second time Keefe has made this joke, but it happens again and again and again. And even though the first time was pretty funny, the overuse kills the joke.Ā
āāWrite this down, Gigantor: You may not want to meet, but we definitely do. Name a time and a place or weāll pelt you with sparkly poo.āā (114) I really wish Shannon would stop with the potty humor. Keefe is fourteen, not six. It makes him look even more annoying and childish.Ā
āāThatās why you keep me around. Well, that and my stunning good looks.āā (115) More of Keefeās trademark cringy and tone deaf flirtation. Nobody talks like this in real life, Shannon, because they would be laughed at.
āāBut Iām coming over after school and youāll tell me whatever youāre hiding.āā (121) It is so annoying how Keefe thinks heās entitled to Sophieās secrets. He doesnāt ask her. Just forces his way in, just like he forced his way into everything else. Itās textbook manipulation. And she does. Not because she trusts him. But because he forces his way into everything.Ā
āāYou let Keefe help.ā āNot by choice.āā (124) Sophie literally admits that she didnāt want Keefe to help her. But in typical Keefe fashion, he forces his way into everything, because heās nosy and rude and canāt keep himself in line. Iāve said this already and Iāll probably say it again, but I wouldnāt mind this if Shannon treated it like a real character flaw instead of just a quirky little trait. I would be okay with it if Keefe realized what he was doing was wrong and apologized and made an effort to get better. But he never does.Ā
āāThis is just a normal day for you, isnāt it?ā Keefe asked . . . āGo to school find out youāre covered in a dangerous substance, melt off a few layers of skin, and then hail your besty Councillor, tell him youāre ditching study hall to save the world, and he says āCool, Iāll come with you!āāā (149) Leaving aside the objectively incorrect spelling of bestie, here's another example of Shannon using Keefe to recap and narrate at the audience. Itās like she doesnāt trust us to understand the story ourselves. You donāt need to pat yourself on the back by summarizing what just happened, Shannon. It doesnāt make it any less exposition-y if the character info-dumping stuff we already know at us is āāāāāāfunnyāāāāāā.
āKeefe replaced it immediately. āI could do this all day.ā [ . . . ] Then he snatched the rest of Sophieās effluxers and raced away, stabbing them in random places all over the grassy field.ā (179) Keefe understands why guarding the school from ogres is so important, and yet he treats it like a joke. Iāve seen people say that Keefe can be serious when he knows something is important, but here he is, abusing a serious security protocol for cheap laughs and frustrating Sophie. He tries his very hardest to be annoying and honestly if I were Sophie, Iād just walk away and let him do his own thing. He canāt be serious, and heās incapable of thinking about anything except playtime for more than a few seconds at a time.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āOkay, Iāve changed my mind,ā Keefe said . . . āLetās plant this somewhere sheāll trigger it.āā (181) Keefe gets Sophie in trouble and once again shows no remorse. I donāt understand why Sophie hangs around him when she doesnāt need him in any capacity (at this point) and all he does is annoy, embarrass, and get her in trouble. If you want to get in trouble, thatās your prerogative. But dragging others unwillingly into your plan is one of the most selfish, egregious acts you can do.
āāHas he ever even had detention?ā āOnly when he listens to me. [ . . . ]āā (183) Yet another example of Keefe dragging someone down with him, this time being Fitz.
āāClearly itās not a good idea to get you angry. Uh-oh, should I be afraid?āā (221) Keefe continues to be annoying on purpose.
āāOhāmaybe we could be the Keefitzter!āā (343) When will Shannon stop torturing me with this painful nickname humor?
āāThat doesnāt really have the same ring,ā Keefe told her [ . . . ]ā (344) This is like the third time heās made this joke. Repeating a joke over and over doesnāt make it funnier; itās quite the opposite, actually.Ā
āāNah, Iāll save it for my own wedding. Make my bride feel even luckier.ā He winked.ā (396) I think the worst part is he really thinks heās being smooth there. Honestly, it just comes off as needy.
āā . . . keep in mind that Miss Foster is, and always will be, my first priority.ā āMine too,ā Keefe said [ . . . ]ā (408) Another thing that strikes me as incredibly weird with Keefe is this strange obsession he has with Sophie. It becomes incredibly apparent in later books, but it definitely starts here. Sophie should really just be another random friend heās made at Foxfire, but heās willing to go to so much trouble for her, but why? Thereās not a particular reason. Sophie didnāt do anything that meant he owed her and therefore had to help her and they didnāt have a particularly strong bond at all before he forced his way into her reverse-Aldenās-guilt plan. Itās understandable now that theyāre closer friends, but the fact that he was just ready to fly across the ocean for a somewhat random girl is just. Very strange. Keefe is a massive case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome that plagues YA novels everywhere you go. And he doesnāt even have a particularly good reason.
āāCute and smart. No wonder Dex gave you a ring.āā (410) Keefe continues to make unfunny jokes that embarrass Sophie for his own amusement.Ā
āPlotting and scheming really were Keefeās forte.ā (431) Weāve been told this, but itās simply not true. Keefe hasnāt come up with a single good plan up until this point, so I donāt know what Sophieās talking about. Telling isnāt showing, Shannon. Show us a single good plan that Keefe has come up with. You canāt just tell us that and expect us to believe it because āOh, itās Keefe!!!ā
āāAdmit it, Fosterāyouāve been checking out the Keefster. And maybe even . . . the keester.ā [ . . . ] ā[ . . . ] Unless youād rather I go first so you can admire the view.āā (440) I think this might be Keefeās cringiest joke yet. Itās a perfect combination of Keefe humor: annoying, embarrassing, tone-deaf, a dash of potty humor, all topped off with a finale of horrific flirtation.Ā
Neverseen
āāI totally couldāve pulled that off. But then again, Iām Batman, soāāhe draped an arm over Sophieās shouldersāāI could be your hero any day.āā (9) Keefe's horrible flirting is back. And he very obviously sees himself as Sophieās āheroā, ready to save the day for her, as if sheās completely helpless. (I know it seems like this is just a joke at the moment, but there are several moments later on down the line that prove this point. I just wanted to put this quote here so I donāt miss it later.) Thatās another thing I hate about Keefe. Heās always sacrificing a good plan for his own, because he thinks heās smarter than everyone else and wants to be the hero. (Again, there are several moments later that showcase this, weāll get there.)
āKeefe grabbed Fitzās wrist and pressed his fingers against the exposed skin. āHate to break it to you, but I can tell youāre hiding something.āā (26) Another example of Keefe breaching personal boundaries and using his empathy to extort secrets out of people to get him to tell things they wouldnāt ordinarily tell him. This happens a lot starting in this book, and yes, I am going to point them all out. By the way, what Fitz was hiding was not at all important to their mission. Itās a secret of Sophieās that Fitz accidentally saw and was forced to tell because of Keefe. And Keefe tries to make fun of Sophie for it, but is cut off.
āā[ . . . ] and tell the Black Swan to knock it off with the lame, non-rhyming riddles.āā (27) Shannon, repeating a joke for the umpteenth time isnāt going to make it funnier. And Keefe gets this the worst.
āāYou know heās going to keep pushing until he gets what he wants, right?āā (31) That quote is said about Keefe, for context. And yes, I do know that. Itās one of Keefeās most annoying qualities. But what I want to focus on is the fact that Shannon herself acknowledges that. Itās not like she isnāt aware. She just doesnāt want to give Keefe any development, instead treating it like a quirky little habit.Ā
āāUh, you guys are totally ignoring the much more important question,ā Keefe interrupted [ . . . ] āAm I the only one whoās noticed that dude is naked?āā (38) Keefe doesnāt know how to be serious, even when the time calls for it. They were in the middle of a discussion about how the Neverseen couldāve set a fire in the Forbidden Cities, and Keefe just jumps in and completely derails the conversation for a joke. Keefe. Learn the time and the place for this sort of behavior. No, indeed, Keefe cannot be serious, even when the time calls for it.
āāTheyāll have to keep their faces very close together,ā Mr. Forkle noted. āFoster and I volunteer!ā Keefe shouted.ā (59) Volunteering someone for a very uncomfortable experience without their permission, ah yes, my favorite. And yes, Dex does it too, and so do Fitz and Mr. Forkle. Iām not exempting any of them from the blame. Iām just saying that this was something Keefe unironically said (and he said it first, too).
āHe leaped from his pleisosaur to hers and prodded Sophieās eckodon to swim away from the rest of the group.ā (63) Shannon forgot to add āwithout Sophieās permission and without giving any thought to breached personal boundariesā to the end of that sentence. Seriously, he just leaped onto Sophieās eckodon with no sign she wanted him to, just because . . . he wanted to? Sophieās wishes? Never heard of them.
āāRelax,ā he said, tightening his grip on Sophieās waist. āI wonāt let you fall.āā (63) I hate when Keefe does things that Sophie doesnāt need āfor Sophieā. Itās his worst quality, by a long shot. He projects what he thinks Sophie wants and then tries to fulfill his projection. Sophie wasnāt even scared she was going to fall. And he randomly starts putting his hands all over her. But I guess when youāre a love interest, that can be seen as āāāāāāromanticāāāāāā. Keefe stop treating Sophie like a helpless object that he needs to save challenge.
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āāI will never let my mom hurt you again.āā (63) Itās hilarious that he thinks he can control that. Just adds to his mind-numbing stupidity. Thereās naivete, then thereās Keefe. Also, this entire scene is the first in a series of scenes that I like to call āforced consolationā, where either Keefe or Sophie will try to reassure the other of some fear they donāt have or are just not in control of. Shannon loves to lather these scenes up with āI promise I wonāt hate youās and āI will do everything I can to protect youās and all sorts of other things that feel either forced or over-the-top. And at the end of the scene, you feel nothingās changed or developed. Itās just Sophie and Keefe repeating things at each other and at the end you just feel like it was handled with too heavy a hand and you didnāt really get anywhere. In other words, itās one of Shannonās favorite forms of filler.
āāThanks,ā he whispered back, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek.ā (65) He managed to be even creepier! Wow! This feels incredibly forced, too. I think Shannon assumes she can make any scene āromanticā if she makes Keefe lean too close to Sophie and then makes a mention of Sophie's heartbeat.
āāWe know some of the Neverseen are hiding in Ravagog. Give me a green crystal and Iāll hunt them down.āā (90) Moments that make me want to shove Keefe into a brick wall. Is he stupid??? Like, genuinely. He is so dumb. I cannot stand stupid characters. Maybe thatās me, but oh my gosh. This. This is just. I donāt even have the words to describe how stupid Keefe is. And the worst part is Keefe clearly thinks this is a smart plan. Like, wow. Heās so arrogant he genuinely thinks heās the savior they all need. Not a stupid, reckless boy with no experience or training whoās going to get himself killed. Keefe. What are you on.
āāWhy is everyone assuming Iām going to get caught?ā Keefe asked. āYou guys are clearly forgetting how awesome I am!āā (91) Because you will. Hundred percent guarantee. He knows nothing about ogres and their technology, nothing about sneaking into places with a large amount of security, he probably doesnāt even know what a Markchain is and why heāll be found out because of not having it. The English language doesnāt have the words necessary to describe how dumb Keefe is. And he doesnāt even realize it. Heās just so convinced heās better than anyone else and that other people havenāt created anything strong enough to hold the all-knowing Keefe Sencen. But stupid characters that genuinely think theyāre amazing is a personal pet peeve of mine.Ā
āFitz said something else too, but it was drowned out by the plethora of gagging sounds coming from Dex and Keefe.ā (96) I donāt like Dex either, but thatās not what this is about, so weāre gonna leave that alone for now. Anyway, Keefe and Dex are both incredibly immature, acting like six-year-olds as opposed to thirteen and fourteen. And itās rude. Itās not a good quality. They clearly do it on purpose to be annoying, so. Tearing down people because you canāt keep your nose out of their business is just not good behavior. Again, Iād be fine if Keefe showed some development. But as far as I know, he never apologizes for his rude behavior at all. (I believe Dex does, though, so Shannon clearly knows this is a possibility.)
āāIn fact, after I swear fealty I should have you all call me Emo.āā (110) I donāt think you know what emo means, Keefe. Also, in my humble opinion, it makes no sense that elves have a concept of being emo. My guess is this is Shannonās attempt to make Keefe seem more like Tam. But more on that later.
āāYouāll be Sophitz! Or Fitzphie!āā (110) I hate it when authors put ship names in their stories. Itās so cringy and almost feels like the author is trying to pat themselves on the back for acknowledging a certain ship in the series. And of course, itās an undeniable aspect of Keefeās āhumorā. I canāt just not address it.Ā
āāWe can be Keefex!āā (111) Another instance of putting ship names into the series, although I doubt Shannon meant it that way.
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āāYeah, Fitz can pull off anything.ā Sophie blushed as she considered the implication of her words. Keefe groaned. āI knew we shouldāve gone with the balding elixir. Next time!āā (123) To be fair, the argument Iām about to make is very thin, and I acknowledge that, so feel free to disregard it. But notice how Keefe immediately suggests a balding elixir right after Sophie complimented Fitzās looks. Itās almost like heās jealous of Fitz, which is not a bad thing, necessarily. Jealousy is a very natural thing to feel. But so many people try to make arguments that Fitz was cruel and jealous toward Keefe later on down the line, so I thought Iād point out an example where (in my opinion) Keefe is being jealous.
āāAnd donāt think I was going to allow a Sophex meeting to happen.āā (135) More cringy ship name āhumorā.Ā
āāAnyone else getting tired of the Black Swan bossing us around?āā (142) God, Keefeās whininess is so annoying in this book. Yes, the Black Swan are being annoying. But he shouldāve dropped it after the first few times that he complained. Complaining isnāt going to fix anything and only makes him look annoying.Ā
āāIs it okay if I enter your mind?ā Fitz asked. āDude, do you realize how creepy that sounds?ā Keefe interrupted. āItās less creepy than reading her feelings all the time without telling her,ā Fitz argued. āHey, itās not like I try to do that! Youāre just mad that Foster canāt hide things from me.āā (144) Keefe gets bored, so he interrupts Sophie and Fitzās cognate training for no reason. You know, because heās incapable of keeping his nose out of othersā business for two seconds. And not only that, he has the audacity to say he doesnāt try to read Sophieās emotions. Sure, heās not doing it all the time, every time, but he does it when he feels sheās hiding something. Iāve already pointed out several instances of this, and there are many more to come. Instead of letting her keep her secrets and tell him on her own time, you know, out of trust, he uses his empathy to force it out of her, or pressure her to talk when sheās not ready (which by the way, is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship). He does this to people besides Sophie, as well. So yes, it is creepy. Way more creepy and toxic than asking someone for permission, by the way. So not only is Keefe straight-up lying about not trying to read Sophieās emotions, heās defending it. And the last part where he says that Fitz is jealous because Sophie can hide things from him. Heās missing the point entirely. When someone tells you something willingly, without being extorted or pressured, they trust you. When you have to force them and guilt them into telling you, they donāt trust you. So Fitz has no real reason to be jealous here. Keefeās just being an asshole.
āāYou make her super nervous,ā Keefe answered for her. Sophie wished the Black Swan had given her laser eyes so she could skewer Keefe with her death glare.ā (144) Keefe not only reads Sophieās emotions without her permission, he also breaches several boundaries by announcing them to the entire room before sheās ready or when she doesn't want to. Why? Because heās selfish and wants to cause a scene. Why? Because heās bored. I wish I were kidding. That is seriously the reason. He got bored. He doesnāt care about Sophieās feelings, or else he would respect them.Ā
āāPromise me you wonāt hate me,ā he whispered.ā (175) We go into another one of Shannonās famous forced consolation scenes. It makes no sense that Keefe would worry about Sophie hating him. He hasnāt done a single thing to make her hate him. Shannon just realized that she needs something for Sophie to comfort Keefe over, so she pulled something out of her ass. And it makes no sense.Ā
It makes so little sense that Sophie tried so hard with Keefe, but didnāt do the same with Fitz and Biana in Exile. This forced consolation scene goes on, ending in a āwindow slumber partyā. Another thing I donāt like about Keefe is that itās very obvious that Shannon favors him. Itās very unsubtle.
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āKeefe ruined the moment by grumbling. āBut you didnāt learn anything! You had the Neverseen right in front of youāyou talked to him!āā (197) Thatās right, everyone. The sweet, selfless Keefe blamed Sophie for failing to learn anything! Which, by the way, he never apologizes for and never shows remorse for.
āSophie heard him mumble under his breath, āHe was right in front of them.āā (198) Keefe continues to blame Sophie for not figuring anything out, as if he couldāve done any better.
āāMy mom was probably part of everything that went down with Jolie.āā (221) No??? No! Jolie died over sixteen years ago. Keefe says this in response to the knowledge that his mom joined the Neverseen shortly after becoming pregnant with him. Keefe is only fourteen, meaning Lady Gisela was not part of what went down with Jolie. This is probably just Shannon forgetting her timeline again, but oh, boy, does it make Keefe look stupid.Ā
āāWhen you or Fitz start dating, there will be crying in the Foxfire halls.āā (236) Another example of Shannon trying way too hard to make him seem āpopularā and ācoolā. It appears she hasnāt set foot in a school, because thatās not how it actually works.
āāEveryone loves the bad boys.āā (236) Did. Did Shannon unironically write that??? Iām laughing. Oh my gosh. The sheer tone-deafness and cringe, I canāt.
āāAnd Fitz isnāt perfect, by the way.ā āHeās close enough.āā (238) No??? Nobody is. And hereās a fine example of another forced consolation scene. Keefe lathers it up with the self-pity and feeling sorry for himself, and later on down the road, Shannon realizes that and her solution to that particular problem is hilariously atrocious. Iām writing this quote in blue so that itās easy to come back to later, because Iām going to talk about it once we get there. But for now: Keefeās personal pity party is clearly only there to make the audience pity him. All heās doing right now is acting weirdly whiny and jealous of Fitz for . . . being āperfectā? Which again, jealousy is natural. But Keefe has never in his life tried to achieve perfection, and has in fact always tried to do the exact opposite, so why would he be jealous of Fitz for being perfect all of a sudden? Itās completely out of character for him. Shannon. You canāt just make Keefe jealous of Fitz for the sake of being jealous of Fitz because you want a forced consolation scene. It has to make sense. Keefe would never be jealous of Fitz for this particular reason. Keefe doesnāt try to be perfect at all. Why would he care that Fitz is āperfectā?
āāI hate watching it,ā he whispered. āThem and Della. Itās all so happy and easy.āā (238) Wanted to include this because this is a good example of how jealousy actually works. Keefe has never had a loving family. So naturally, seeing a loving family would make him jealous. So, again, I will give credit where credit is due: this makes sense for him.Ā
āāAnd youāre also there when your friends need you.āā (238) That is a laughably twisted version of the events of the previous couple of books. Keefe is not āthere when his friends need himā, rather he forces his ways into their plans by either pressuring them or using his empathy very dubiously. The way Shannon has tried to twist Keefe into this pitiable, pathetic boy is just. Not working, when you consider what heās been doing for the past few books. Just straight shot after straight shot of him annoying and embarrassing the crap out of Sophie and extorting things she very clearly doesnāt want to tell him out of her.
āā[ . . . ] you promised you wouldnāt hate me.āā (239) Obligatory ādonāt hate meā plea from this particular forced consolation scene.Ā
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āHis aim with the throwing stars was flawless [ . . . ]ā (343) How??? He hasnāt had any proper training??? And this goes for the climax of Exile, too, by the way. Shannon once again wants Keefe to be flawless at everything and save Sophie, but she fails to make any of it make sense, because Keefe never trains with throwing stars. This is a textbook sign of a character the author wants to make look ācoolā without making it make any sense whatsoever. Why is he good at using throwing stars? Not because he trained! Probably because Shannon just wanted to make him look cool and badass.Ā
āāYou know what I think when I see things like that?ā āI never shouldāve agreed to help such a loserāeven if he has awesome hair?āā (345) Hereās another forced consolation scene. Why would Keefe think Sophie thought that, when literally a few seconds ago she confirmed she didnāt? Iām not kidding, Sophie literally says āāYou shouldnāt have to carry all that aloneāā (345) just a couple of lines right before this line. She clearly doesnāt think Keefe is a loser, but heās so wrapped up in his self-pity, heās not listening to her. Shannonās trying to milk the shit out of this, so she repeats the same thing over and over and over to instill pity for Keefe. And again, she lathers it up and uses too heavy a hand, so it just feels like weāre suffocating in Sophieās pity for Keefe, not to mention Keefeās pity for himself.Ā
āāI have a major dark side, Sophie.āā (347) Shannon tried to make this all serious and dark, but it just made me laugh. Like, no. He doesnāt. He doesnāt have a dark side whatsoever. Heās stupid, sure, but heās really soft, too. The fact that Shannon is trying to get us to believe that and trying to put us on edge is laughable.Ā
ā[ . . . ] āand itās a lot creepier when itās Sophorkle.āā (369) Did. Did Shannon actually write that???? And the editor saw nothing wrong with that??? Oh, boy . . . I donāt even think I have to explain this one. And yes, this is in the name of Keefe cringy-ass āhumorā.
āāIf youāre saying we should sneak into ogreville instead of sitting here watching Dex poke a gadget with sticks, Iām in,ā Keefe said [ . . . ] Keefe tried to drag her toward the door.ā (405) Why did Shannon make that so literal? She literally made Keefe just be like Weāre going to Ravagog right this minute, and then had him drag Sophie to the door. Like, wow. The literalness of the action is just so cartoonish and comical. Like Iām watching an animated cartoon for seven year olds. I donāt know how else to describe this.
āāI say we storm Ravagog,ā Keefe said. āWhoās in?āā (457) Keefe continues to push for a plan that has no merits whatsoever and will just put people in danger. You know, because he couldnāt use his brain if his life depended on it. Also the way he says it implies he sees it as this fun joke-like thing, not something that needs serious thought put into it.
āāAnd I thought secret Telepath conversations were the worst. Just so weāre clear,ā he told Tam. āIām the president of the Foster fan club. And weāre closed to new members.āā (474) Keefe acts jealous of Tam for . . . talking to Sophie. What a great guy. What a non-possessive, non-controlling, completely justified thing to do. He acts like Sophie just talking to a guy is a threat to him. And letās be honest, he says that the Foster Fan Club is āclosed to new membersā because heās worried about whether Tam could like Sophie, or vice versa. And the fact that his idea is to try to stop Tam and Sophie from talking to each other is easily the ickiest thing he has done. Like, please go bang your head several times into a wall, Keefe. Hard.
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āāSomeone needs to tell Shade Boy the role of Troublemaker with Daddy Issues is already filled.āā (478) I- I donāt even have the words to describe how uncaring this is. Keefe literally sees a struggling teen and his first thought is āMy āpositionā is in dangerā. How selfish is that? Tam (and Linh) have struggled way more than Keefe can even comprehend and yet all he can think about is this stupid jealousy he has for Tam. Also, the fact that he literally thinks in stereotypes and archetypes is laughably bad writing on Shannonās part. Dumbing people down to categories to check off is atrociously terrible writing, and this is another symptom of Shannon using Keefe as a narrator to tell the audience things she doesnāt trust us to pick up on ourselves. She doesnāt trust us to know that Keefe is a troublemaker with daddy issues, so she has to tell us. Just like she doesnāt trust us to realize the same about Tam, so she has to tell us.Ā
āHeād turned into the boy in the boobrie dudeās tent againāscared and angry and lost.ā (479) That doesnāt justify his callousness and horrible behavior towards Tam. Just because you can see why someone is doing something, doesnāt automatically absolve them of blame. Someone shouldāve kept Keefe in line by explaining how tone deaf that comment was. But of course, since itās Keefe, his actions will always be justified by the narrative instead of corrected.
āKeefe laughed. āAnnnnnnnnd, the Foster panicking begins.ā āIām not panicking,ā Sophie told him [ . . . ] She ignored Keefeās laughter as she gave Fitz permission to enter her mind.ā (496) First of all, counting and typing out all those Ns was a nightmare. Second of all, I think the reason Keefeās intrusive behavior is accepted is because itās just so normal. Itās just something you expect to happen with him because itās Keefe, and treated like a joke. But it shouldnāt happen. Just because Keefe can feel Sophieās emotions, doesnāt mean he has to tell them to people sheās clearly uncomfortable telling them to. And third of all, he laughs. He laughs because sheās panicking. What an upstanding guy.
āāWhoa, now everythingās red and ripply,ā Fitz said. āIs that because sheās angry?āā (497) Keefe literally annoyed Sophie for his own amusement and fun. You know, as good friends do.
āāJust tell them to stare into each otherās eyes and theyāll be good.ā āNone of that, Mr. Sencen.āā (497) I will give credit where credit is due, Shannon did finally hold Keefe to a modicum of accountability. But this is the one time in all his atrocious behavior that heās been held accountable, and even then, he never says sorry.Ā
āāWhy didnāt you tell me about this?ā Fitz whispered to her. āDude, you donāt get to ask that,ā Keefe told him.ā (505) Fitz can ask whatever the hell he wants. Especially concerning a group that they are all fighting. Telling someone they donāt get to ask why something was hidden from them is so completely out of line. And guess who calls Keefe out on this? Nobody.
āāBecause I seem to remember you having a bummer few weeks and then everything went back to perfect Vacker-land. So whereās my perfect fix?āā (505) Keefe disregards other peopleās feelings and problems if he sees them as not as bad as his own. Now, you might be thinking, didnāt Fitz lash out at Sophie during Exile? Why isnāt that bad? Well, thatās not as bad because Fitz realizes what he did was wrong, apologizes for what he did and tries his hardest to improve and develop. Youāll notice we donāt get a similar heartfelt apology from Keefe for this incredibly hurtful and invalidating statement, or anything else he does or says throughout this book.
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āShe knew Keefe didnāt want to talk to her, but when she saw his lights on she couldnāt walk away.ā (507) Another piece of evidence suggesting that Sophie paid way more attention to Keefe and spent way more time making sure he knew she was there for him than she did with Fitz and Biana in a similar situation. Here Keefe is mad at her, not wanting to see her, and she still tries too hard to make him see reason, which is not something she does with anyone else. And that is another thing I hate about Keefe: Shannon shows clear favoritism toward him. He gets let off the hook for things other people donāt. He gets Sophie trying and trying and trying to make him see reason when heās mad. And later, he gets a plotline all to himself, and takes up so much page time, it squeezes the other characters out. You can already see it in this book.Ā
ā[ . . . ] she couldāve sworn he muttered something about Sophitz.ā (510) Keefe is a horrific friend. He tears Sophie and Fitzās cognate relationship (and friendship) down every chance he gets, and nobody calls him out on his incredibly possessive behavior.
āāHow are you going to get inside the city? And if you do get ināwhat then? You donāt even know where youāre going.ā āIāll figure it out.āā (560) Keefe is so unbelievably stupid. The justification Shannon gave was that the guilt is making him reckless, but recklessness doesnāt equal stupidity. And when Sophie asks him perfectly valid questions, he says āIāll figure it outā, meaning he put not a single thought into this. Heās really so arrogant that he thinks he can just walk into Ravagog with no plan and steal the cure. God, heās so stupid, they should just leave him out of their plans for everyoneās safety. Stupid characters are a particular pet peeve of mine, so if I seem angrier than I should be, thatās why.
āāFine. Iāll wait until tomorrow night,ā he said. āThen Iām leaving.āā (561) Sophie didnāt even manage to completely dissuade him, she just stalled him. That proves that Sophie canāt save him from himself. Nobody can. And later, Keefe puts so much more than himself at risk. He has Sophie constantly worrying about him, so his actions affect her, too. Thatās selfish behavior. And how much does he grow from it? Iām sure you can guess.Ā
āāYeah, this is why I should go by myself,ā Keefe said. The suggestion was met with a resounding āNo!ā But Sophie knew Keefe wasnāt going to listen. If she didnāt figure something out, he would go alone.ā (564) They just talked through all the challenges of their plan, none of which Keefe has a solution to, yet heās still arrogant enough to believe that he can do it all himself. Stupid characters that think theyāre great are the worst kind of character to me. The fact that Keefe genuinely thinks he can sneak past ogres and find the cure is mind boggling. He thinks heās so great that he wonāt get caught, but we know he wouldāve. Someone is going to pop out of the ground and say āWell, heās only fourteen!!!ā Yeah, heās fourteen, but this is straight stupidity, not youthful naivete. And the fact that Sophie specifically thinks to herself that heāll go if they donāt figure something out just proves how selfish he is. Nobody wants him to go alone. Heās not achieving anything for anyone, and his actions do more harm than good. So, no, his actions are not selfless. More so the opposite than anything. Heās doing something that nobody wants and nobody needs. Except himself, of course.Ā
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āāOh good, Bangs Boy decided to join us,ā Keefe grumbled [ . . . ]ā (570) Instead of being grateful for extra help that could get them out alive, Keefe continues to take shots at Tam for no reason. No reason other than heās strangely possessive of Sophie, of course. Also, can I just say that Shannon wrote this rivalry so poorly? Itās not even a rivalry. Itās completely one-sided. And in later books, Shannon tries so hard to convince us that Keefe and Tam donāt like each other and itās this whole thing and itās all drama and this and that and the other. But she puts so little effort into describing why they donāt like each other that it falls so flat. Tam doesnāt even dislike Keefe. My guess is that he just (rightfully) sees Keefe as a nuisance. So really, itās just Keefe that has this pathetic hatred for Tam, while Tam barely even acknowledges Keefe. As he should. But thatās just a guess. To know for sure, Shannon would actually have to focus on characters that arenāt Sophie and Keefe, so.Ā
āāHow do we know his little Shade tricks are even going to work?āā (572) Valid point, but Keefe is so unnecessarily mean and rude with that comment.
āKeefe snorted. āHow does it feel to be rejected by dust?ā āPretty good, actually,ā Tam snapped back, āsince it means I can survive this mission.āā (573) Yeah, get his ass. About time someone called Keefeās constant whining out. Keefe continues to haggle on Tamās power, which will no doubt save his life several times, for no other reason than his pathetic hatred for Tam.Ā
āāI could be back with the cure while the rest of you guys are still sleeping.āā (575) Words cannot describe how much I want Keefe to try to do just that, so the ogres can lock him in a cell and we never have to see him or his stupidity or arrogance again.
āDude, you did not just insult the Hair.āā (581) Have some more cringy Keefe humor.
āSophie couldnāt fight back her sob as Keefe handed Alvar the cache.ā (661) Weāve at last arrived at the famous betrayal scene. And this is Keefeās most selfish, asshole-ish action yet. First of all, itās not him who was entrusted with the safety of the cache. It was Sophie. Which means that by handing over the cache, he puts her in massive potential danger with the Council, not himself. But thatās typical Keefe behavior. Thinking about how your actions will affect the people around you? Never heard of her. If the Council entrusted the cache to him, then it would be somewhat less selfish, because heās the one that would then be in trouble with the Council. So he puts Sophie in danger and tosses the worldās most important secrets to a terrorist group without a thought in the direction of how heās going to get it back. And for what? For the miniscule chance that the Neverseen would trust him and he could learn something important enough to finish this? Thatās the thing with Keefe. Heās stupid, but he doesnāt think he is. He takes huge risks where the reward canāt in any scenario measure up to the price. It was a stupid risk. Not in any capacity could anything he learned ever measure up. But of course, Keefe thinks itās brilliant. Because, you know. Heās stupid. Tell me why anyone trusts this guy again? Oh, and in case you think that Keefe learns or grows from this mistake, just you wait.
āāI have to do this,ā he said. āPlease donāt hate me.āā (663) Keefe has no right to ask this of Sophie in this scenario. Heās chosen his path, and that was his choice. He will and should suffer the consequences of that choice. Including all the people who now see him as a traitor. But of course, since this is Keefe, he doesnāt suffer a single consequence, and Sophie never truly hates him, although that wouldāve encouraged at least a single iota of development for Keefeās arc.Ā
Lodestar
āāSorry my note was so hasty. Next time Iāll make sure it rhymes.āā Sorry, no more page numbers, I donāt have a physical copy. I donāt know why Shannon insists on running the rhyming joke into the ground. Repeating the same joke over and over doesnāt make it funnier.Ā
So the thing about this scene where Keefe breaks into the principalās office is that he does get held somewhat accountable. Every time he makes a joke and isnāt serious, Sophie calls him out. When he plays dumb and says he didnāt expect Sophie to hate him, she calls him out. He tries to defend his atrocious plan, she shuts him down. But that doesnāt last.Ā
āAnd there it was. Keefeās guilt.ā I still donāt understand what Keefe is guilty over. Because Shannon doesnāt bother to make it make sense. No logical person would feel guilty over their parentās betrayal. Especially not when they didnāt like that parent much to start with. But how else are we going to get our precious forced consolation scenes, if Shannon canāt make up something for Keefe to angst over?
āāWhat is the Lodestar Initiative?ā she pressed. āAnd what other lost memories did you recover? You said there were more.ā āIt doesnāt matter.ā āObviously it does.āā Sophie tries to get solid answers from Keefe and he continues to withhold. These arenāt just any old personal secrets either, theyāre secrets that have something to do with the enemy theyāre both fighting. By keeping this information away from Sophie, Keefe actively hinders her cause. But of course, heās so stupid and arrogant and thinks he knows whatās best for Sophie that heāll never see it that way. He is such a frustrating character and this book is almost the worst portrayal of him.Ā
āāThereās always a choice, Keefe.ā āYeahāIām going to find a way to end this on my terms. Thatās my choice.āā Wow, Keefe is such an arrogant idiot. He really just admitted that he was the only person he was going to listen to. Not anyone smarter than him, more experienced than him, hell, not even Sophie, who heās supposedly doing this for. No, itās just his way or the highway. Because he thinks heās smarter than everyone else. Including their enemies, who have proven time and time again to be at least twenty-two steps ahead. He doesnāt even bring up his plan with the Black Swan. They mightāve taught him or told him something that could help. But no. He does it all himself, but he only cares about his own opinion, and Sophieās. Oh and by the way, Sophie doesnāt call him out on any of this this time around.
āāWhat happens when they notice itās gone?ā He shrugged.ā He literally just admitted he didnāt have a plan. Thatās his thing. Heāll do something reckless (like giving Sophie the pendant back) and then not think about the consequences. He is so stupid, it hurts my soul. I cannot fathom how he manages to entertain this delusion that he can beat the Neverseen single-handedly.Ā
āāYouād rather keep hurting the people who care about you?ā āIām helping you!ā āAnd hurting us.āā Heās not helping. At all. Helping would be executing a plan that everyone agreed was a good idea. Helping would be brainstorming ideas for a plan with a group, so they can figure out all the pros and cons and go from there. Helping would be being there for the people that need him. But, no. Keefe instead embarks on a selfish quest to end things all by himself so that he can feel good about himself and maybe even so that Sophie will think highly of him. He doesnāt care about anyone else, he just cares about himself. If he did care about other people, he would consult them and consider their advice instead of disregarding it and assuming heās the smartest person in the room, when in actuality, heās most likely the stupidest. By a lot.
[cut because character limit]
āāThatās what Iād been hoping for. But [Fitz] didnāt even raise his voice. He just looked away so I wouldnāt see him crying. So did Biana. Even Dex teared up.ā Seconds ticked by. Maybe minutes. It felt like forever before Keefe whispered, āWhat about you?ā [ . . . ] āI also helped you escape,ā Keefe reminded her.ā Another thing that is so irritating about Keefe is how he doesnāt care about anyone except Sophie and puts her on this pedestal. He doesnāt care about any of his friends as much as he does Sophie, and he only bothers opening up to her. He doesnāt try to form a bond with anyone else, and he neglects all his other friends for Sophie. In this example, when Sophie tells him how the others reacted, he simply changes the subject back to her, instead of saying something about the others. When Sophie tells him how she reacted, he acts interested again.Ā
āāEven if it is, the things youāre doing are real. That cache could destroy everything. And you handed it over like it was no big dealāā āBecause it wasnāt! They canāt open it. Theyāve had all their Technopaths working on it, and they canāt break through the security.ā āAnd when they finally figure it out?ā āIāll steal it back long before that happens. I can handle this, Sophie.āā No, he canāt. Heās proven that heās incapable of thinking even an inch into the future, with his response to the monocle pendant situation. Thereās no feasible way Keefe couldāve known how incompetent the Neverseenās Technopaths are at getting into the cache. Heād never even heard of a cache before Neverseen. So it couldāve backfired massively. And how is he going to steal it back? He has no plan. He doesnāt know what heās doing.
āāItās not a test. They . . . sent me here.ā āWhy would they do that?ā Keefeās eyes returned to the ceiling. āProbably because I suggested it.āā So let me get this straight: Keefe told the Neverseen to send him to Foxfire where all his friends go to school, and he thinks they didnāt find that suspicious at all? I'm laughing. Honestly, thatās hilarious.
āāMiss Foster understands Mr. Sencen in ways the rest of us simply cannot. [ . . . ] He opened up to her. Leaned on her. Trusted her.āā Yes, because she wouldnāt leave him alone. Which is not a level of effort she put into anyone elseās problems. Think about when Fitz was spiraling over his father in Exile. Or when Fitz got stabbed. She didnāt pay nearly as much attention as she did to Keefe in his times of crisis. Again, Shannon has a massive bias toward Keefe. Heās treated much better than the rest of the supporting cast. But somehow, despite that, he doesnāt get any development at all. And the reason Keefe opened up to Sophie and nobody else is because he only cares about her opinion, and nobody elseās. He pedestalizes her heavily.
[cut because character limit]
āāNeed I remind you that Keefeās doing the same thing our daughter tried to do?āā Oh, boy. I hate when people use this argument. In short, while Jolie and Keefe had the same plan, their executions couldnāt have been more different. Jolie was reached out to by both sides and the Neverseen had no idea that she was involved with the Black Swan at all. The Neverseen are well aware of Keefeās involvement with the Black Swan. So, where Jolie just had to get the Neverseen to trust her, Keefe has to convince them that he betrayed his friends, a much harder task. Jolie also had a feasible motive, to get her bad match status erased. Keefe doesnāt have anything even resembling a possible reason for why heād want to join the Neverseen. So the Neverseen are going to be even more suspicious of him. Jolie trained. She told the Black Swan what she was doing. She planned. Eventually, she got the Black Swanās approval and she had their help. Keefe, on the other hand, did not do a single modicum of actually valuable training. He didnāt tell anyone, and he didnāt talk his plan through with the group. Nobody thought it was a good idea, and nobodyās helping him. Heās completely on his own. Keefe also has to live with them, which Jolie never did. Thatās more opportunities to slip up, and a small difference like that can add up. And I know Iāll sound like a broken record, but Keefe is just. So stupid. He doesnāt think about his actions and their consequences, just barrels right into them. Jolie has proven to be very clever, leaving a list of clues that she knew only a Black Swan member would be able to find.Ā
āāOh goodāso the thing That Boy stole is putting all of us in more danger,ā Grady muttered.ā For the record, I find Grady to be an incredibly immature guardian, with what and his calling Keefe āThat Boyā. But thatās not what Iām here for right now. And he does make a good point right here. Keefe is putting them all in danger, and he doesnāt even know if what heās doing will have any sort of payout.
āHow does Fitz not pee his pants every time you do thisāor wait, DOES HE?ā This book easily gets it the worst when it comes to Keefeās humor. The potty humor is at an all-time high, and Keefe is even more cringy and annoying than usual.
āBesidesāif she was going to trust Keefe, she had to trust him.ā Why??? He didnāt do a single thing to earn her trust. Why should she trust him??? This shouldnāt be about Sophieās feelings, theyāre in the middle of a war, and thatās what should matter. Keefe has compromised a very important piece of intelligence, so she shouldnāt be trusting him at all. āOh, but he's her friend!ā Yes, heās her friend, but the war is always more important than foolishly placing your trust in the wrong hands because of . . . feelings.Ā Ā
ā[Keefe] Luck had nothing to do with it. I planned it perfectly. [Sophie] Thatās exactly the kind of overconfidence thatās going to get you killed. [Keefe] Not necessarily.ā He really thinks he didnāt get lucky and that the whole thing was because of his āperfectā planning. But no plan is perfect. That fact that Keefe doesnāt know that is proof as to why he shouldnāt be doing this. A good planner understands that every plan has inherent risks and never, ever gets cocky because something can always go wrong. Keefeās just not willing to see the risks to his plans. And that makes him dangerous. And so, so stupid.
āYepāitās a date. Tell your boyfriends not to be jealous.ā Have some more cringy Keefe-style flirtation.Ā
[cut because character limit]
ā[Sophie] Keefoster? [Keefe] Sounds way cooler than Sophitz or Dophie, right? And donāt even get me started on Bangs Boy.ā Keefeās cringy ship name humor is back at it again. Iām pretty sure he uses ship names more than the entire fandom combined. God, Shannon needs to stop using him to pat herself on the back. Keefe once again displays jealousy toward not only Tam, but Fitz and Dex. He subtly tells Sophie that she should be with him, not any of them, which is so utterly out of line that I donāt even have the words to describe how much I want to punch him in the face for his possessiveness. Itās not his right to tell her that. Also, objectively speaking, Keefoster sounds atrocious. It also sounds like āKeefe Fosterā, and Iām sure Shannon is patting herself on the back for seeming so subtle. Sokeefe is a much better ship name, but is never actually brought up in the series. If Shannon intends to continue with this atrocious in-story ship-name-dropping, she could at least use a good one.
ā[Keefe] [Ā . . . ] it is kinda nice having someone look out for me. [Sophie] You donāt make it easy. [ . . . ] His floating thoughts made it clear how determined he was to protect her.ā Yippee, another forced consolation scene! Sophie and Keefe basically tell each other that theyāre out to protect each other. Sophie says Keefe doesnāt make it easy on her, which is true. He takes advantage of her trust, runs into dangerous situations without a care in the direction of how itāll affect Sophieās mental state. And Keefe doing this whole thing to protect Sophie . . . no. Just no. Heās already admitted heās doing this because heās only willing to do it his way. He wants to do this for a multitude of selfish reasons, one of which is Sophieās opinion of him and his character, which is not the same as doing something āfor Sophieā. Heās doing it for himself. He doesnāt care about Sophieās opinion on what he should do, or he wouldāve listened to her. And the part about how itās ānice [to have] someone look[ing] out for [Keefe]ā is just. I canāt even. Keefe is so whiny. Plenty of people care about and look out for him. The Black Swan, frustrating as they are, Alden and Della, his friends, even Grady and Edaline. But of course the only one he cares about is Sophie. Because he only cares about Sophieās opinion of him and nobody elseās.Ā
āYou can ignore it all you want, Foster, but sooner or later youāre going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?ā Fantastic, some more horrible Keefe flirtation! Also my feelings on authors using the term ālove square/triangleā in their books is pretty much the same as my feelings about authors using ship names in their books. Itās so pick-me, like Look! I acknowledged the love triangle in my own book! Arenāt I the greatest? Isnāt that so self-aware of me?
āThere you go, rocking the whole adorable-when-youāre-angry thing. I think thatās what Iāve missed about you the most.ā Keefe infantilizes Sophie by saying sheās cute when sheās angry. She is trying to express her feelings, and all Keefe can do is be all Awwwwww. Isnāt that so cute? Sheās angry! How adorable. Itās a form of invalidating someoneās feelings, by treating them like theyāre just entertainment or by brushing them off like that. Itās some of the most manipulative behavior out there. It also saves Keefe from having to actually take Sophieās feelings into account. His infantilization of her also shows up in his incessant need to protect her. Itās icky and gross, and authors should stop encouraging this behavior.
āYes, I will call you Lady Lectures-a-Lot every time you transmit to me.ā Have another example of Keefeās cringy-ass nickname humor.Ā
ā[Sophie] And can you focus for one second? [Keefe] I suppose I can try. . . . ā Keefe continues to try to frustrate and annoy Sophie on purpose. You know, for his own entertainment. As good friends do.
[cut because character limit]
āāWe also found my favorite bramble jersey,ā Fitz added. āI knew he stole it.āā Because stealing your best friendās personal possessions and never giving them back is a completely normal thing to do.Ā
"But she needed to see Wylieās memories for herself and make sure Keefe wasnāt there.ā Hereās an example of Keefeās decisions impacting Sophie. Her mental health has been on a decline the entire time she was at Dexās; all she thinks about is whether Keefe will be involved and whether heāll be able to trick the Neverseen and how heāll get out of this one. All she does is worry, worry, worry. And itās all on Keefe. He didnāt take Sophieās advice into account when he made his decision (which he wouldāve done if he truly cared about her) and itās affecting Sophie.
āāI know youāre going to get mad at me for saying this. But before we keep trusting him, we need to find out what he knowsāand I donāt just mean the little bits he tells you during your nightly flirt sessions.ā āThatās not what they are,ā Sophie snapped. āMaybe not for you. But I doubt the guy who calls himself the president of the Foster Fan Club is going to have a bunch of private convos with you and not use that chance to try to keep winning you over.āā Exactly. Thank you, Tam. Finally, someone in the story who gets it.
āāKeefeāweāre serious,ā Sophie said. āOh, I know. Fitz is giving me his āIām so seriousā scowl. And youāre hitting me with a whole mess of emotions.āā Canāt believe I have to put up with Keefe again after all this page time without him. And does he know that? Does he really? Because if he knew, he would be serious. But Keefe is incapable of acting serious, even when the time calls for it. All he can do is joke.Ā
āāWe need to make sure you werenāt involved.ā Keefe rolled his eyes. āWould I be here if I was?āā Yes??? He could do all kinds of things. And Fitz was perfectly valid when he said that they needed to make sure Keefe wasnāt involved. Keefe is currently working with the enemy. Itās as simple as that. Itās not unreasonable to want to know if he was involved with one of their plans. On the other hand, it is unreasonable for Keefe to ask them to put all their trust and faith in him when heās working with their enemies. He needs to stop demanding everyone change to accommodate him, and accept the consequences of his actions.Ā
āāI would never be in your position,ā Fitz argued. āYeah, youāre better at taking the easy way.āā No, heās better at taking the smart, unselfish way. Heās better at not throwing everyoneās faith and trust in him down the drain because he wants to be the hero.Ā
āāThey have a network that stretches way farther than you could ever imagine. Iāve only seen a tiny piece of it, and itās seriously terrifying. I canāt fight it without making some hard calls!āā By Keefeās own admission, the Neverseenās organization skills, plans, and goals are āseriously terrifyingā. And yet, he thinks he alone can defeat them by working from the inside out. He also uses the word āIā, like he thinks heās the only one. A Freudian slip if Iāve ever seen one. No, Keefe, you are not the only one fighting the Neverseen.Ā
āUh, helloāyou have me. I know I got a few details wrong yesterday [ . . . ]ā Keefe says he got āa few details wrongā as if those few details didn't result in someone getting tortured. Heās incredibly incompetent, but trying to hide it. Heās got it flipped, actually. He got the plan as a whole wrong, and only got a few details correct. He didnāt get any actually useful information, and still thinks they should rely on him despite the fact that heās proven he has nothing useful to offer. Because heās stupid and arrogantly wants to believe that his way is the best way.
āāDude, are you blushing?ā Fitz asked. āOnly because I can feel what Fosterās feeling,ā Keefe snapped back. Sophie rolled her eyes. āIām not feeling anything.āā Nothing particularly wrong with this, just this exchange makes me cringe every time. But thatās subjective.
[cut because character limit]
ā[Sophie] You get why we had to make sure, right? [Keefe] Itās still not awesome knowing you guys sat around talking about how you donāt trust me. [Sophie] You donāt make it easy.ā They canāt trust him. This is bigger than Keefeās pathetic boo-hoo-my-friends-donāt-trust-me. They would if they could. He ran off and joined the enemy and theyāre in the middle of a war. They have to think with logic, not emotion, and logic always says that anyone working with the enemy canāt be trusted and must be treated as such. Itās not a personal attack on Keefe. But Keefe will always see it that way.
āI canāt worry about that, Foster. I canāt think about what-ifs or maybes. I can only take it one day at a timeāone assignment at a timeāand fight my way through.ā Did- Did Keefe just admit he doesnāt plan ahead? And try to spin it so it looks like a good thing? This is the guy theyāre supposed to be trusting??? This is the guy that thinks heās smarter than the Neverseen, who, by his own admission, have networks that stretch farther than the mind can comprehend? Serious???
āAnd ten minutes ago you thought I was Wylieās fourth kidnapper. Remind me to thank Bangs Boy for that the next time I see him. And the Fitzster.ā Thank them for making a logical decision? During a war? Yes, you should.Ā
ā[Keefe] Aw, come on, Foster. Iām the cute guy who chooses to save the kids, remember? How can you resist me? [Sophie] Who said anything about cute? [Keefe] It totally goes without saying. Donāt even try to deny it.ā Keefeās flirtation is back and cringier than ever!
ā[Keefe] And in the meantime, maybe I need to lose this cloak and see what happens. . . . [Sophie] Bad ideaāespecially after you took such a risk to meet with us today. [Keefe] There you go again with your logic. Itās really cramping my style.ā First of all, why does Sophie need to tell him that losing the cloak is such a bad idea when Keefe himself literally said a few pages ago that it was a bad idea? Is he really that drawn to ideas that seem stupid? Is he really so arrogant that he thinks he can get away with that a second time? And secondly, hereās another example of Shannon using the same joke again and again.
āUgh. I guess you do need to see that memory, donāt you?ā This isnāt the best quote (said by Keefe, for context) to represent what Iām about to say, but oh, well. I canāt copy this entire scene down because this goes on for a while, but Keefe literally stalls on his end of the bargain he makes with Sophie for quite a long time. He considered not even holding up his end, even though Sophie had already held up hers. He only relents when he realizes Sophie needs to see the memory. Which is not good. It shows that he canāt be trusted to hold up his side of a deal unless he decides he needs to.Ā
āKeefe turned away, watching the waves crash onto the beach. āI donāt want you feeling sorry for me.ā āI canāt help it. But itās not pity. Itās . . . I donāt know what the word for it is. Iām too conflicted.āā So, remember that quote I wrote in blue? Weāre circling back to it. I said that Keefe is constantly feeling sorry for himself and that the scene just drowns in his self-pity. Shannon then realizes that this isnāt really a good thing necessarily, and her solution is just to have Keefe say that he doesnāt want Sophie feeling sorry for him. This is a sentiment that continues through the story, where Keefe claims he hates people pitying him. But thatās just Shannon telling us that. What she shows us is a completely different story, and that reveals that Keefe does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity, usually during his forced consolation scenes. It doesnāt matter that Keefe apparently doesnāt want anyone to pity him, because Shannon spends so much time trying to convince you to pity him that the whole thing falls flat. There are several more instances of this, but for now Iāll just write this in blue as well, because these two quotes are connected in one larger point Iām trying to make.Ā
[cut because character limit]
ā[Keefe] Wow. Thatās just . . . He burst into a fit of snorty giggles. [Sophie] Iām glad you find this so amusing. [Keefe] You donāt? Donāt tell me you actually believe him.ā This isnāt about whether or not something sounds strange or funny or ridiculous. Itās about whether or not itās plausible. At this point in time, it was very plausible that Keefe was created as a counter to Project Moonlark, even though heās older than Sophie. So they were treating it like a real possibility. But Keefe laughs at it, because it sounds stupid to him. He doesnāt even consider it. Just immediately discards the possibility. Which isnāt a good thing. Itās a very close-minded attitude to have. Which is not good in the middle of a war.
āāThey know Iām here,ā Keefe told her. āThereās an ogre enzyme that stinks like the entire world is rotting, and I may have accidentally knocked a vial of it into the laundry basin while I was washing Fintanās favorite cloaks. It can only be removed with selkie skin, so they sent me to get what I need to clean up my mess.āā Iām laughing so hard. Collecting selkie skin probably isnāt going to take more than a few minutes, and theyāve been talking a long time, so the Neverseen are definitely going to be suspicious of him. Honestly, this plan is even dumber than I remember.
āāAnd I used those five seconds to drop off the bead before I headed here. It was perfect.āā Every time Keefe describes a stupid part of his plan and then refers to his plan as āperfectā, I take psychic damage. Smart people know that no plan is ever perfect. So the fact that Keefe thinks his plan is shows why he isnāt ready to be a double agent.
āāWoo-hoo for bonus Keefoster time! Try not to get jealous, Fitzy. She still likes you better than meābut someday I will wear her down. Iām sneaky like that.āā Was- Was that a real line??? That Shannon actually wrote??? And then didnāt immediately erase? Keefe is such a jerk. This line proves he just sees Sophie as the rope in the tug-of-war heās playing with Fitz. He doesnāt care about her. He just wants to āwear her downā, as if a real person with real emotions is something he can just mess around with until he gets what he wants.
āYouāre so cute when you worry, he told her.ā More classic Keefe infantilization. He once again invalidates Sophieās feelings by dumbing them down and acting like theyāre this cute, quirky, inconsequential thing.
āFine. Forgive me for trying to have a little fun after yesterdayās drama.ā Did you know. That itās possible. To have fun. Without infantilizing others? More of Keefeās jokes being mean/rude/generally atrocious behavior.
ā[Keefe] She puts Bangs Boy to shameāand she doesnāt have stupid hair. [Sophie] I thought she always hid under her cloak. [Keefe] She does. But as the crowned king of good-hair land, I can tell when Iām talking to one of my rightful subjects.ā Keefeās jokes about his hair are so painfully unfunny and come off as cocky when Shannon oversteps. Which she does. A lot. We get it, he styles his hair to look a certain way because heās such a wannabe bad boy. Now can we talk about anything else?
āBut after everyone went to sleep, I tore open the seam in my cloak and found another black disk right where you said it would be.ā He . . . tore the disk out of the cloak. When they have no idea what it does. And they know the Neverseen put it there for a reason. And heās trying to be careful. He just tore it out??? Howās he going to put it back in and make everything seem normal again??? Is he really that dumb?
āActually, Iām pretty sure this is good enough news that youāre going to want to kiss meāand Iām happy to accept an IOU, by the way.ā Ah, Keefe, your humor never fails to make me cringe.
ā[Keefe] āOde to Keefe Sencenāthat brave, lovable nut. He may not have teal eyes, but he has a really cuteāā [Sophie] KEEFE!ā Keefeās favorite pastime of annoying Sophie rears its ugly head once more. Also, will he stop comparing himself to Fitz for two seconds?
[cut because character limit]
ā[Keefe] And brace yourself because Iām about to blow your mind. Are you ready for it? [Sophie] Iāve been ready for the last five minutes. [Keefe] You think youāre ready. But thereās no way you possibly can be. [Sophie] JUST TELL ME.ā More of Keefe annoying Sophie just for the heck of it. I honestly donāt understand why sheād constantly want to be around someone whoās so annoying, it makes no sense.
āJust like I havenāt gotten any more info about the ogresā test, or King Dimitarās meeting with Fintan, or Fintanās cache, or any of the things I canāt get anyone to talk about [ . . . ]ā I donāt understand how Keefe is so stupid that he can see all this evidence right in front of him, even admit it to Sophie, and still think his plan to join the Neverseen was a good one. I- Heās just so stupid. He just ignores every. Single. Red. Flag. Just because he thinks heās smarter than everyone else. You cannot trust someone this tone-deaf. You just canāt. I donāt know why the narrative keeps pushing the idea that Keefe just needs Sophieās trust and heāll be fine. Canāt he understand that Sophie just cannot trust him? That itās just not possible?
ā[Keefe] I did warn you. I just didnāt know the specifics. [Sophie] I know. But thatās the thing neither of us have wanted to admit. If you canāt give the specifics, everything youāre doing is worthless.ā How stupid do you have to be to have to have that spelled out for you? You need to give specific warnings or theyāre worthless. But Keefe needs to believe what heās doing is worth something. How else will he keep his head inflated?
āHe thought she didnāt have a plan, and that everything sheād said was just an angry rant.ā Wow. Just wow. Keefe doesnāt trust Sophie, nor does he listen to Sophie. He only listens to himself. Sophie just admitted that to herself. By not listening to her and taking her advice to heart, he invalidates her feelings and her plans for his own. Now, why is Sophieās plan better than Keefeās, logically speaking? Because Sophie has a specific idea of what sheās going to do now. Keefe doesnāt. And he doesnāt listen to her or take anything she says into consideration. If he genuinely believes heās doing this āfor Sophieā, heās seriously delusional.Ā
āIs this going to be another one of those nights where you spend the whole time yelling at me to come home? Keefe asked, making her sit up straighter as his thoughts filled her head. Because as much as I love it when you get all feisty on me, nowās really not a good time.ā God, Keefe is so subtly invalidating. He treats Sophie like sheās just his personal worry machine, not a person with valid concerns and ideas. The flippant way he talks about her worry for him makes me so mad. He takes her worry for granted and throws it back in her face, without a care for how it would affect her mental health. He brushes her off and invalidates her because he thinks heās so much smarter than everyone else. Not to mention he calls her worry āfeistyā and further infantilizes her feelings and ideas.Ā
āāDude, save your daddy issues for another time,ā Tam ordered. āFintan doesnāt care about you. He doesnāt trust you. And if you go back to him, heāll destroy you.ā Keefeās eye roll was epic. āDonāt you need to go fix your bangs or something?āā In case you need more proof that Keefe is the stupidest, most pathetic idiot ever. First of all, Tam brings up a valid point. And Keefeās response is to make a personal attack. You know, because heās stupid and has nothing actually good to say in response. Heās completely pathetic, with his stupid rivalry with Tam clouding all his judgment. He treats Tamās suggestion like itās stupid because . . . Tam is the one who said it. He canāt even dignify Tam with a proper counterargument. He is so stupid, I canāt stand it. He doesnāt know when to stop joking around or when to stop taking shots at people. Heās straight-up mean, and this isnāt even a time to be joking. This is a serious situation, and all Keefe can think about is this pathetic animosity he has toward Tam.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāPlease donāt do this,ā she begged. āIf you leave here with that crystal, youāll trap usāand youāll compromise Alluveterre.ā āThe Black Swan can sacrifice one hideout for what this will get me,ā Keefe said. āAnd you can teleport. There has to be a cliff around here you can jump off to get the momentum.āā Yes, what this will get you. What thatāll get you is . . . something that you turned over to the Neverseen yourself (Kenricās cache). This whole mess is Keefeās fault. If he had just been less stupid, he wouldnāt have to sacrifice the Black Swanās hideout to get the caches. Yes, Fintanās cache would be a gain, but itās not strictly necessary or needed. Nobody asked him to get it, he just arbitrarily decided that itās what they need. You know, because he thinks they need it. He doesnāt understand risk or reward, and he doesnāt understand that some things arenāt worth sacrificing. Other people will have different opinions on whether or not somethingās worth something else, but Keefe doesnāt do teamwork. He hijacks plans, then ruins them. He works off of what he, an inexperienced, scared, reckless teenager, thinks is best. Then he executes his atrocious plans without a drop of consideration from anyone else.Ā
ā[ . . . ] but Iām even better at fixing things.āā No, no youāre not, Keefe. When has he ever fixed a single thing, up until this point in the story? Never. Heās only ever tried to do things that would get him killed but then is always stopped by Sophie. No, not stopped. Stalled. Even Sophie canāt reel him in. Heās only ever made Sophie go out of her mind with worry over him. He has no credibility to say that heās ever āfixedā something. Itās simply untrue. The truth is: Keefe messes things up way more than he fixes them.Ā
āā[ . . . ] know that I will end this.āā Keefe still thinks heās everyoneās savior, he still thinks heās the hero they all need, instead of the idiot all their carefully arranged plans are ruined by. I have never seen such a stupid, idiotic, arrogant, blind character. But maybe I just need to read more.
āYou realize Iām not actually pooping, right? I mean, I know weāve shared a lot of things, but I donāt think poop should be one of themāunless itās sparkly and from an alicorn. Or blasting like a geyser out of a gulon.ā Keefe knows Sophie is mad at him, and knows he should be grateful sheās even reaching out to him, and yet all he does is make the stupidest, unfunniest jokes to annoy her. Itās like heās trying to sabotage his relationship with her. Also, Shannonās use of potty humor never fails to feel incredibly out of place and so, so juvenile.Ā
āIt doesnāt matter what I think. Itās not like you listen to me. The thought had a snap to it, and Sophie could see Keefeās mind sting. But she wasnāt going to apologize.ā Good. She shouldnāt. He deserves to feel that āstingā. All heās done is ruin things, worry Sophie, and think heās the greatest ever. He deserves to be put in his place. This isnāt even half of what he deserves.Ā
āāIāll be outside Lumenaria as soon as I bust out of here. I donāt care if there are patrols, Iāll find a way to evade them. I want to be closeāthat way if you need me, I can help.ā Keefe, you realize you canāt just bypass security, right??? Like, theyāre experts, and youāre a stupid teenager. You canāt just hide from them forever. Also, wow. The sheer arrogance Keefe needs to have to assume that Sophieās going to need him, and him in particular. He still sees himself as Sophieās savior.
[cut because character limit]
ā[Sophie] I wish he wasnāt coming here, she told Mr. Forkle. Itās way too risky, and heās only doing it because he feels like he needs to make everything up to me. [Mr. Forkle] He does need to make it up to you. Havenāt you realized that yet? Thatās why you and Mr. Sencen work so well together. You both push each other to believe in yourselves. Donāt go easy on him now because youāre afraid heās too fragile. The more you let him prove himself, the more heāll realize heās still worthy.ā He does need to make everything up to Sophie, but Mr. Forkle is just. So wrong. If someone consistently ruins everything, they shouldnāt be given several more chances to prove that theyāre āstill worthyā, especially not without some additional reflection on their actions and especially not in a high-stakes war. Theyāll just mess everything up again??? That should be common sense to a leader of a rebel group. Keefe needs to learn his lesson, and the only way to have that happen is to punish him for his actions. He needs to face consequences, and in a way that makes sure he doesnāt screw anything up again. And thatās by forcing him to stand on the sidelines. He cannot be allowed onto the ābattlefieldā, so to speak, when he actively puts everyone in danger by being there. He needs to understand everything that happened was his fault, and he needs to do something to stop himself from screwing it all up again.
āKeefeās smile was somehow both breathtaking and heartbreaking, but it faded as he stroked her cheek [ . . . ]ā Why is he randomly stroking her cheek when she just got up??? Itās so weird. Nobody does that. Itās weird and he needs to stop. And no, ātheyāre good friendsā is not a good excuse. Itās incredibly strange to start touching someoneās face out of the blue. I can practically see Shannon patting herself on the back and thinking it makes their bond so much stronger. Really, it makes it so much creepier.
āāAll those months with them, thinking I was playing everything perfectly. I bet they were onto me the whole time. Just like my mom said. And they were planning this.ā He punched the sand, sending it spraying around them. Sophie held him tighter. āThis is not your fault, Keefe. None of us realized what they were up to.āā Ah, another forced consolation scene, my dearly detested! And, look, Shannon even squeezed a āItās not your faultā in there. While Lumenaria coming down is obviously not Keefeās fault, it definitely speaks to his ego that he thought he was smarter than the Neverseen. Yes, heās realizing now that he was wrong, but it doesnāt change the fact that he should still have to face the consequences. He joined the enemy without anybodyās approval. He canāt work with a team without hijacking everything himself and overturning everyone elseās ideas. He should still have to face the consequences of what he did. āI know now that I was wrongā doesnāt change anything. It doesnāt show any real consequence. It shows a tiny bit of growth, but nothing solid or meaningful. Itās a throwaway line that you could honestly miss if you werenāt paying close attention.
āāItās still huge,ā Sophie promised. āI know it doesnāt feel like itābut the secrets in those caches have to be important. Thatās a victory!ā āA pretty weak one,ā he grumbled, trying to look away. She reached up and turned his chin back, waiting for him to meet her eyes. āYou have to let this go. Donāt let this ruin what we have here.āā No, heās right, Sophie. For once in his life. Sophie tries to comfort Keefe, and this entire scene feels so weak, like Shannon is desperately reaching for drama to fuel her beloved forced consolation scenes. In reality, itās very simple. The caches have nothing on real-life implications. So, yes, the caches are a victory, but itās a very, very weak one, and not at all worth the things Keefe did to get them. Also, Sophie grabbing Keefeās chin like that is very, very weird behavior. Nobody does that with their friends, just grabbing their chins to force them to look at them.
Nightfall
āHeād also been working every day to make up for his mistakes.ā Thank you for telling us that instead of showing it, Shannon. If he really felt sorry, heād understand that he needs to change and stop being so reckless before he can safely be a part of plans and schemes again. If he doesnāt realize that, heāll never stop putting people in danger.
āSo, when Fintan asked for my blood, I told him he needed to prove that I could trust him by answering one question. And once he did, I had to hold up my end of the deal.ā In case youāre wondering, the number of things Keefe screwed up during his time with the Neverseen is now: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (although we know that probably wouldnāt have mattered, since they got away, but Keefe didnāt know that at the time, so I mean), and being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline.Ā
āBut Fintan interrogated me when I got back, and I had to use the crystal to convince him not to burn off my arm.ā This is the guy Keefe thought trusted him, by the way. Come on, he canāt be this stupid.Ā
ā[Sophie] Do you really think Fintan would help you steal the caches if theyāre actually important? [Keefe] Yeah, Foster. I do. Because he had no idea that he gave me the other piece of the code phrase weeks earlier, after he had too much fizzleberry wine.ā Wait, the leader of the Neverseen got drunk in front of a teenager he doesnāt trust, and Keefe didnāt find that suspicious??? At all??? Really??? I canāt believe Keefe is that dumb . . . actually wait. This is Keefe. Never mind, I believe it entirely.Ā
āTrading my blood was a bad call. But I SWEAR the caches are still a score.ā Keefeās cockiness has come back in full force, yāall. Remember that forced consolation scene at the end of Lodestar where Keefe lamented about how the caches were a weak victory? Well, why bother with consistency? He thinks theyāre a āscoreā now! This is what I mean when I say the forced consolation scenes are so dumb and only there for Shannon to milk some worthless comfort between Sophie and Keefe. She has to force it, which means half the time it makes no sense, so she either has to pretend it didnāt exist and reset for the next one, or contradict herself like she did here. Either way, it will just lead to another forced consolation scene, and eventually thereās only so many times you can take Sophie and Keefe having the same conversation over and over again.
āIāll fix this, okay? Keefe promised. Iām going to fix everything. You mean āwe,ā Sophie corrected. WE are going to fix this.ā Speak of the devil. Here comes a forced consolation scene. Also the fact that Keefe still believes heās going to fix everything by himself shows he learned absolutely nothing from his mistakes. Itās Keefe, so why am I surprised that heās gotten zero character development?
āDoes that mean you donāt hate me? Keefe asked. His mental tone sounded softerāalmost timid. [Sophie] I told you, Iām never going to hate you, Keefe. [Keefe] But I keep giving you new reasons to change your mind. [Sophie] Yeah, you really need to stop that. She offered him half a smile, and he gave her the same when she added, But weāre in this together.ā Wow, Shannon didnāt even take that long to dive into a whole mess of a forced consolation scene, complete with a trademark āDonāt hate me, pleaseā. Again, it makes no sense why Keefe thinks Sophie would hate him. Sheās talking to him, isnāt she? And she never stopped. She isnāt mad at him and she doesnāt hate him, and thatās plainly obvious to anyone with a brain. But how else is Shannon going to milk the drama for all itās worth, if not by repeating the same conversation over and over and making her characters look dumb in the process?
[cut because character limit]
āSophie fussed with her jeweled sleevesāwhich matched the emeralds lining the knee-high boots sheād slipped over her lacy gray leggings. Biana had frustratingly pointed out that elaborate clothes would do a better job of disguising her gloves, so Sophie was trying to force herself to get used to wearing glitter and frills. Keefeās lips tilted into his famous smirk as he crossed the room to stand closer. āI meant that as a compliment, Foster. Sparkles look good on you. So does the new hairdo.āā I know this is a (very annoying, very harmful) trope in fiction, but the fact that Sophie is visibly uncomfortable wearing fancy clothes, and Keefe's only response is to be like āWell, it looks good!ā is so objectifying and degrading. It shows that he doesnāt particularly care about her feelings or comfort, only the way she looks to him. I get that itās a trope, but most things about Keefe that Iām criticizing are tropes, so.Ā
āHe reached up, his fingers skating gently along the edge of the intricate braid weaving through the front part of her hair.ā Possibly Keefeās most creepy trait is the way he just . . . randomly touches Sophie. Like completely out of the blue. Heāll just touch her face or hair, which is so strange. Like that isnāt normal, and you shouldnāt be touching someone there without explicit permission. Especially not in such a . . . implicative way.
āāIf youāre trying to impress me, itās working,ā he told her, and she felt her cheeks warmāuntil he added, āBut, you always impress me, so maybe you were thinking of someone else?āā What makes him think sheās dressing up for him specifically, or even for someone else? Thatās such an arrogant assumption to make. As if everything Sophie does out of the ordinary must immediately be for him or some other guy. Also, if Sophie and Keefe are so close, why doesn't he know about her plan to dress up to hide her gloves?
āSomehow heād moved closer, and Sophieās throat went dry as he reached up and touched her braid again.ā Keefe sure invades Sophieās personal space a lot in this scene. Thatās not romantic, by the way. Itās creepy and possessive.
āā[ . . . ] and while Iām sure you and the Fitzster wonāt mind the excuse to stare into each otherās eyesāā āItās called Cognate training,ā Sophie corrected. āAnd thatās not what we do.ā āKeep telling yourself that.ā Sophie ignored him.ā Again, Shannon making the same joke over and over again isnāt going to make it funnier. Also, Keefe is once again annoying Sophie because he thinks itās funny and cool. Sophie having to ignore him shows that she doesnāt want to talk about it.
āāAnd yeah, sheās fooled me in the past. But Iāve had a lot of time to think about things, and Iām pretty sure Iāve figured her out.āā Youād think that Keefe would learn not to underestimate a Neverseen member from his double agent catastrophe (and he did, canonically), but of course, Shannon now needs to undo all his (small bit of) character development so he can make the same mistakes over and over. He is so stupid. And arrogant. And so many other things. If he thinks he can outsmart his mom, whoās been playing the long game this entire time, without a care or thought in even the vaguest direction of a plan, then I donāt even know what to say. And his use of the words āIā and āmeā prove that he still thinks he can do this all himself. With no input from anyone else. So tell me, where exactly is his development from his failed double agent disaster?
āāPretty sure?ā Sophie repeated. āYou want to risk everything on pretty sure?ā āThe only thing Iām risking is me.ā āWhich is way more than Iām willing to lose.āā Again, Keefe doesnāt care about anyoneās feelings about a plan except his. He only wants to barrel his way through life and heāll do what he believes is the best thing for everyone, regardless of whether or not everyone else agrees. His constant need to risk himself is tiring and repetitive. When is he going to change and grow? Itās also incredibly selfish. He knows how that will affect his friends and loved ones, especially Sophie. And yet, he still wants to do it anyway.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāKeefe snorted. āIām betting Bangs Boy wonāt.ā āWell, maybe he would if youād stop calling him Bangs Boy.ā āYeah, but thatās never going to happen.āā Shannon once again makes a pathetic attempt to create this narrative that Keefe and Tam have this mutual dislike of each other and itās funny because theyāre similar and this and that and the other. Again, no, the ārivalryā started when Keefe got jealous of Tam because he saw Tam as competition over Sophie. And Tam doesnāt even hate Keefe. He just finds him an excruciating nuisance. Which he is.
āāSorry, Gigantor,ā he said through gritted teeth as he scrambled to the other side of the room. āFoolish is my specialty.āā Keefe displays a resistance to valuable character development and change, almost as if Shannon heard complaints about Keefeās lack of development and doubled down on it, but none is as bad as this book gets it. Keefe adamantly states that āFoolish is [his] specialtyā, as if that justifies his actions, and talks about being stupid as if itās just a quirky little personality trait, not a flaw he needs to work on and fix. Itās not a flex. Itās something that he needs to fix, and as soon as possible, too. He canāt just keep being stupid and, when confronted, say āWell, thatās just how I am, so youāll have to deal with itā. That is so selfish, I canāt even process it. He displays such a resistance to change, such an arrogant attitude toward himself where he thinks heās fine the way he is, that even though he actively puts people in danger, he doesnāt see a need to work on himself.
āāIām all good now, Foster. Unless you want to try kissing it to make it better.āā Have some more hideously horrific Keefe-style flirtation.
āāUnleash the lecture! Here, Iāll even start it for you.ā His voice shifted up to an uncanny impersonation of hers. āHow dare you ambush me, Keefe? I donāt care if youāre the most gorgeous guy Iāve ever seenāWAY better looking than other guys with their dimples or weirdly teal eyes. You had no right to show up and surprise me like that!āā Keefe just canāt stop bashing Fitz or Dex, can he? Heās so possessive that he actively brings down his supposed friends in his quest to gain Sophieās attention and approval. Tell me, if heās really meant to end up with Sophie, why does he act so insecure about her friendships with other guys? And the fact that heās treating a very serious issue like a joke shows, once again, that he cannot be serious. He canāt think about other people for even a millisecond if it means going against his own wishes. And when itās all over, all he wants to do is joke about it and hope that calms the other person down so he wonāt have to face the consequences of his actions. Itās really quite manipulative, if you think about it. Means that he can distract the other person from the fact that he disregarded them and brush it all under the rug.Ā
āāDonāt I at least get points for not hailing her by myself, making the deal alone, and running off to Ravagog without you?āā No, because he still forced his own plan onto Sophie and didnāt care about her opinion at all, despite the fact that apparently theyāre a team. Remember, Sophie did not have a say in any of this.Ā
āāI didnāt want you hesitating because of me, so I thought Iād make the hard decision for youābut everything after that was up to you.āā There is no good justification for taking someoneās choice away from them, and the fact that āeverything after thatā was āup toā Sophie is irrelevant, because sheād already been forced into a course of action she didnāt believe was correct.
[cut because character limit]
āāOr maybe youād rather I put my incredible Empath talents to work and help you solve the complicated square youāre always telling yourself is a triangle?āā More cringy humor thatās Shannon's horrible attempt to be self-aware in her own story, featuring the literal use of the word square and triangle with regards to Sophieās love life.
āāCome on, Foster, admit itāthat was pretty clever.āā There is nobody on the face of this planet that brags as much as Keefe does when he pulls one tiny, slightly smart thing.
āāDid the Mysterious Miss F. just agree that Iām a genius? Because thatās what I heard! And itās filled my heart with all the warmest, softest fuzzies.āā This quote is only a couple pages after the one before and oh, boy. Keefe really canāt stop patting himself on the back for a single good idea. I wonder where that comes from . . . maybe that arrogance I was talking about . . .Ā
āāBut whatever it takes, itās going to happen. Do you know why?ā When she didnāt answer, he took both of her hands, and she couldnāt ignore the rush of warmth that tingled through her when she met his eyes. There was no teasing glint to be found. Just pure determination when he told her, āBecause Team Foster-Keefe is going to win.āā Shannonās ability to cram forced consolation scenes into just a few lines is truly astounding. First of all, this is incredibly cringy. Iām sorry, but itās true. Keefeās dialogue has never been so horrifically embarrassing to read. Also, the way he just randomly grabs her hands and stares into her eyes is so weird and so forced. Isnāt that what heās always making fun of Sophie and Fitz for? At least they have a good reason. So that also makes him a hypocrite.Ā
āāJust the usual,ā Keefe told him. āFosterās going on and on and on about how she canāt live without me. Itās really quite exhausting.āā Keefeās flirting is at its worst in this book. Itās genuinely so bad, I canāt understand how it can be mistaken for charming or funny.Ā
āāHis idea of excitement is when he changes the way he parts his hair.āā More examples of Keefe tearing people down using his jokes, even if itās subtle.
āāMaybe not run off and join the enemy?ā Fitz suggested. The words were like a record scratch, screeching everyone into awkward silence. This was the first time theyād all been together since Keefeās betrayal. Keefe cleared his throat. āYeah . . . so . . . about that.āā Keefe only apologizes because Fitz brings it up. He never wouldāve done it without that. He doesnāt bring it up himself, so it doesnāt really mean much. Yes, Sophie tries to tell him he doesnāt have to apologize and he still does it, but he wouldnāt have without Fitz bringing up how he ran away.Ā
āāIām sorry. I know you think Iām an idiot for running off. And . . . I guess I am. I thought the fact that my mom had built something she called my ālegacyā meant that I was valuable enough to the Neverseen that theyād bring me in on all their plans and I could find a way to stop them. But it turns out Iām worthless.āā Heās not worthless, heās stupid. And the wording of this is very intentional on Shannonās part. Itās intentionally worded to attract pity and sympathy. Itās poor Keefe again, being called worthless again, oh, we should all go and feel sorry for him now. He is such a pity magnet. And he didnāt even apologize for the right thing. He apologizes for being stupid, sure, but he never apologizes for disregarding everyoneās feelings and ideas and forcing his own plan into action without consulting others. He never apologizes for not considering othersā feelings. Itās all just me, me, me with him.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāNo, youāre not.ā Surprisingly, the words came from Tam. āHaving a family like yours messes with your head,ā he added, tugging his bangs over his eyes. āI know how that goes. You still made a bad callāor lots of bad calls, actually. But . . . if you donāt do it again, weāre cool.āā Oh, and it works! The next line is Tam telling him that itās not his fault, because his familyās bad! That doesnāt change the fact that Keefe made a decision to not tell anyone what he was planning, deciding to compromise several key pieces of intel so he could get back something he gave away, and generally be very arrogant. He didnāt consult or talk with anybody about it. Yes, Tam acknowledges that Keefe made ābad callsā, but whereās the mention of Keefeās utter disregard for ideas that arenāt his?
āāThe only reason Iām including Keefe is because his mom seems to want him involved. Why else would she insist we contact her with his blood?ā āPlus, yāknow, Foster canāt live without me,ā Keefe added. āDonāt make me smack you,ā Sophie warned. Keefe smirked. āIād like to see you try.āā First of all, Sophieās reasoning is chock full of logical fallacies. Yes, Keefeās mother wants him to be involved, but why does that mean he, in particular, needs to go to Ravagog? They have no information at this point that says that he needs to be the one to go. And why should they listen to Keefeās mom anyway? They donāt trust her. Also, Keefe annoys Sophie on purpose once again, and his annoying flirting gets even worse. Also, Shannon insists on making the same joke over and over, but this time, the last time he made that joke was less than a chapter ago, so itās even more annoying.Ā
āāShould we take bets on how many stairs Foster makes it up before she trips?ā Keefe asked. āI say sheāll lose it on the sixth step.āā Who. Wrote this??? Itās genuinely so bad. I swear, almost everything Keefe says in this book is top tier cringe.
āHe snickered. āAt least this proves I know you better than the Fitzster.ā āNo, itās that I have more faith in her,ā Fitz corrected. āThatās what being Cognates means.ā āAnd yet, I seem to remember Foster hiding some sort of important secret from you during your trust exercises. Did something change while I was gone, or . . . ?āā Keefe is so weirdly possessive of Sophie. He acts like every single thing is this ridiculous tug-of-war over her with Fitz. He never passes up an opportunity to take shots at Fitz, his supposed best friend. Also, guessing when someone will trip is pure chance. That doesnāt show any sort of bond at all. Iām going to interpret that as a joke, because thereās no way even Keefe is stupid enough to believe that. He prods at Sophie and Fitzās weak spots (the secret), like heās hoping it will unravel. All he cares about is putting down Sophie and Fitzās cognate relationship and bolstering his own relationship with Sophie. Itās such a disgusting yet subtle thing to do. Honestly, if Shannon had handled Keefe better, he couldāve been a character that could be used to teach kids about subtly manipulative and toxic relationships.
āāUgh, anyone else ready to vomit from the Fitzphie?ā Keefe asked. āI am,ā Dex said, as Linh asked, āDid Fitzphie become an actual thing?ā āI donāt even know what āFitzphieā is supposed to mean,ā Tiergan noted. āWant me to explain it?ā Tam offered.ā Seriously. Who wrote this. Shannon. What. What is this. The excessive use of in-story ship names is atrocious, but Shannon decides to double down on it. Leaving that aside, Keefe expresses a desire to āvomit from the Fitzphieā. Tell me thatās not possessiveness. Keefe is such an atrocious, toxic friend, and Shannon really cranks it up to eleven in this book. All he does is whine about how close Fitz and Sophie are, tear their cognate relationship down, claim his relationship to Sophie is better, and generally act very possessive of Sophie.
[cut because character limit]
āāUgh, score one for Fitzphie,ā Keefe mumbled.ā Here, we see Keefe literally track points as if Sophie is a game he needs to win against Fitz (his ābest friendā). All Keefe does is act jealous of Fitz and Sophie because he selfishly wants to be with Sophie. His constant whining is so annoying and again, Shannon use of ship names in-book is the most cringy, appalling move Iāve seen her make.
āāI know! Our little girl is growing up and getting so snarky!ā Keefe pretended to wipe his teary eyes. āIāve never been so proud.āā āOur little girlā . . . that totally isnāt creepy or infantilizing at all. The way Keefe talks about Sophie here is genuinely so gross, even if it is a joke.Ā
āāWe still do,ā Sophie argued. āWe just have a lot going on.ā āAnd yet I sure seem to see a lot of Keefe these days. . . .āā Heās not wrong, Sophie. You kinda, sorta neglect everyone thatās not Keefe. Itās annoying how much attention he gets when heās not even the main character.
āKeefe spotted the crush cuffs about ten seconds after he got to Havenfield the next morningādespite the long-sleeved tunic Sophie had worn to keep them covered. And he dragged out the rest of the story with a relentless bombardment of questions.ā Can Keefe keep his nose out of Sophieās personal business for even a minute??? The ādraggedā here is very telling: Sophie would not have chosen to tell Keefe all this of her own free will. He bombards her with questions, and so she tells him, not because she wants to, but because she knows that he wonāt shut up until he has the full story. This is Sophieās secret. Sophieās business (and Dexās). Keefe has no right to ask about the cuffs at all. The fact that he āretelentless[ly]ā asked her questions until she was forced to tell him the entire story is not a good thing. It does not demonstrate trust, but quite the opposite: a breach of personal boundaries. Keefe is so toxic, I honestly find it impressive how Shannon has twisted him into a seemingly perfect-angel love interest.Ā Ā
āāIn his head, he wanted the Dexphie ship to set sail so badly that he kept fighting for it, even when he got some pretty clear signals that he was bound for a crash.āā Iām sure you can guess my feelings about the use of the word āshipā in-story with regards to romantic ships. Shannon really needs to stop making Keefe act like heās outside of the story observing it like the audience is. Itās just. Too cringe.Ā
āKeefe smirked. āSo thatās what kept you up tossing and turning? Wondering if Iāve registered for the match?ā āUgh, thatās so not what I was saying.ā āSuuuuuuurrrrre it wasnāt.āā Keefe once again annoys Sophie just because he thinks itās funny. Also, thank everything thatās holy for e-books. I would not have looked forward to typing that whole word out by hand.Ā
āāEverything?ā Keefe asked. āEven . . . ā He made an obnoxiously loud kissing sound. Sophie shoved him away.ā Keefeās horrific flirting is even cringier than normal in this scene. Nobody talks like this. And his favorite pastime of annoying Sophie comes around again.
āBut then he leaned back and added, āI have way too much fun annoying you.ā Sophie sighed. āThat does seem to be one of your talents.ā āAnd you adore me for it. In fact, maybe we should find out if weāre meant to be.ā He puckered his lips and Sophie shoved him a little harder that time.ā Keefe blatantly admits that he loves to annoy Sophie. Annoying someone is not the basis for a good relationship. What are Keefe and Sophie even going to talk about once the Neverseen are defeated? Itāll just be Keefe annoying Sophie and Sophie acting annoyed, and Shannon pretending thatās romantic. And the part where Keefe says Sophie āadore[s] [him]ā for annoying her??? What??? There are several points in the story where itās clear that this isnāt true (and Iāve pointed out all of them, hopefully). Nobody likes being annoyed. Especially not on the regular and especially not when thatās Keefeās only real personality trait. Put this all together with some of Keefeās heinous flirting, and you get the recipe for a perfectly cringy scene.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāDo you realize that thanks to you, sweet, innocent little Dex has now kissed someone before I have? And you too?āā Itās not a competition, Keefe. Geez. Also, wow he really thinks that because heās a ācool prankster rebellious bad boyā, he should be the first one to get a kiss??? Thatās what the āsweet, innocent little Dexā comment is telling me. Does Keefe really, actually think in stereotypes???
āāI realize itās hard to believe, considering . . . ā He waved his arm in front of himself, like his looks said it all. āDonāt get me wrongāIāve had plenty of offers, but . . . āā Kill me now. This is a fantastically cringy line, complete with Keefeās cringy tendency to draw attention to his looks. We get it. You look good. It doesnāt need to be your entire personality.Ā
āāHow about I steal the Fitzsterās match packet for you?ā Keefe suggested.ā I hope that wasnāt a serious suggestion. Genuinely. But Keefe is such a shitty friend, I think he wouldāve done it if Sophie had wanted him to. Heās willing to steal a very personal document and give it to someone Fitz doesnāt want to see it. You know. Just because.
āāAm I supposed to see this as bravery?ā Dimitar asked him. āThe arrogant young elf lord who dares to taunt me?ā āPsh, like the Council would ever make me a lord,ā Keefe snorted. āThough, Lord Keefe does have a nice ring to it.āā Who responds like that to that sort of question??? Keefe was accused of arrogance by a king that has something he desperately needs and his response is literally just make jokes. More evidence that he canāt be serious even when the time calls for it.
āāThatās not what we agreed on!ā Sophie snapped. āMaybe not. But Iām not going to let you face any consequences for this.ā Keefe slipped his momās scroll from his pocket and Sophie felt her jaw fall, wondering when heād stolen it from her.ā I think you know what Iām going to say, because Iāve said it a million times already: Keefe doesnāt care about Sophieās feelings or input, he hijacks their shared plan for his own, he steals from her, blah, blah, blah. But you might be thinking, Wait, but Sophie does get mad at Keefe this time and does hold him accountable this time. He actually learns and grows! And you would be partially correct. But not completely. So this quote is mostly here because Iāll refer back to it later. Iāll write it in red so you can find it easier.Ā
āāThat was an incredibly dangerous move,ā Lady Cadence told Keefe, blocking him from following the ogre king. āOh, you want to talk about dangerous?ā he asked. āHow about the part when you almost started a brawl with King Dimitar? You were supposed to be the person at this meeting that he actually likesāthatās why we brought you!āā The two scenarios are not even remotely comparable. Keefe acted irrationally, with no inkling as to how Dimitar would react. He didnāt know what would happen, and he clearly planned this all in advance, even though he knew it was dangerous. Lady Cadence simply pointed out a breach in trust in her relationship with King Dimitar and told him she didnāt appreciate it. She knows Dimitar and considers him a friend, so she knew she wasnāt in any real danger from him. The idea that she āalmost started a brawlā with the king is a complete exaggeration. She also wasnāt planning on having that conversation, it simply came up.
āāAnd you can hate me if you want. But I made a promise when I found out my mom was with the Neverseenāshe only gets to hurt me. Itās the only way I can live with myself.āā How noble. Except it gives him a convenient excuse to play the hero and ruin a group-made plan in favor of his own because of his own arrogance and overconfidence. So, not so noble.Ā
āKeefe grinned. āYou really are adorable when you worry. But you donāt need to. I wouldnāt have agreed if I didnāt know I can handle it. See?ā He pulled his hands free and showed her how steady they were.ā More of Keefeās infantilization of Sophie! Yay! And if he really thinks he can handle it, heās a massive idiot. A massive, arrogant idiot.
[cut because character limit]
āHis motions were somehow both sluggish and erratic, and when he tried to pivot, the weapon slipped from his grasp.ā And here is where we need to talk less about Keefe as a person and more about the way heās written. Here, itās explicitly stated that Keefe is terrible with a blade. Makes sense, heās never handled one before. But, as we know, heās about to defeat the ogre king in a sparring match. Keefe largely uses his skills in the match, but in terms of plot, it still makes no sense that heād be able to defeat the king of a species whose entire culture is based around fighting and war. Yes, heās trained in his skills extensively, but heās never actually used them in a spar like this. Thereās so much more to battle besides simply throwing everything youāve got at your opponent. Dimitar should be able to predict what Keefeās going to do next, even if Keefe tries a sneak attack, because Keefeās never learned to hide that and never learned how to disguise his next move. Dimitar should be able to wear Keefe out so much that he doesnāt have the energy to use his skills anymore, because Keefeās never learned how to conserve energy in a useful manner during a battle and never learned how to make every single strike count. Dimitar should be able to take Keefe down in a single strike, because Dimitar should know where the bodyās weak spots are and how to cause the most pain with the least effort, which Keefe doesnāt know. So, no, Keefe simply using his skills should not be enough to defeat Dimitar when he has nothing else in his arsenal. And this is all to say: the point of this sparring match is to make Keefe look a hero. Even if it makes no sense. Keefe is written to be triumphant in this scene. Itās plot convenience at its finest. Shannon loves to do this with Keefe, where sheāll make him have some ability he realistically wouldnāt have because she needs him to be somewhat badass to uphold his ābad boyā image.Ā
āāThe grip on that oneās faulty,ā Keefe mumbled, kicking the weapon aside and snatching a dagger with a palm-length blade. āThis one looks perfect for sneak attacks.ā āYou canāt sneak up on him in an open ring,ā Sophie argued.ā More evidence of Keefe just straight-up being incompetent when it comes to fighting. Which is fine by itself. But he canāt be incompetent at fighting and also win a sparring match against the king of a species known for their legendary fighting skills. Again, this scene is a massive example of plot convenience to make a character look good. It shows how Shannon favors Keefe. Honestly, he shouldāve just lost the sparring match. Wouldāve made the scene more interesting, and mightāve given Sophie, the main character, a chance to shine by quickly improvising a way to talk King Dimitar into giving up the starstone anyway. It mightāve also curbed Keefeās ego, though I doubt it.Ā
āāThe only loss will be yours!ā Keefe sidestepped Sophie and charged into the ring, dagger raised, eyes wild, leaping for the ogre king.ā Another example of Keefeās straight-up stupidity.Ā
āāThere you are,ā Keefe whispered, his breath warm on her cheeks. āYouāre good now, right?āā Keefe stop breathing all over Sophieās face challenge.Ā
āāIāve never been so proud of us!ā Keefe said, holding up his hand for a high five.ā Iād just like you to remember that Keefe can feel Sophieās emotions. He knows how angry she is at him right now. And his immediate reaction is to try to joke his way out of it instead of treating it seriously until heās forced to by Sophie. He literally tries to dumb this down and make it seem like itās not as bad as it is so that Sophie wonāt be mad at him. It doesnāt work, but itās an incredibly manipulative thing to do.Ā
āāAwww, my girl keeps getting snarkier and snarkier,ā Keefe said proudly. āIām not your girl,ā Sophie snapped back. āAnd donāt think Iām done being mad at you!āā Keefe calling Sophie āmy girlā is a form of infantilization, because he obviously doesnāt mean āmy girlfriendā. Thankfully he gets called out on it. This time.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āFosterās not ready to face her feelings,ā Keefe stage-whispered. āIām ready to strangle you,ā Sophie countered.ā Keefeās joking here (and in the process annoying Sophie, but what else is new), but the implication is obviously that Sophieās too scared of her feelings to face them and that she needs Keefe to swoop in and decipher them for her. Her own feelings. Do you see how that might not be the best thing to say, Keefe? Do you? Even if someone is wrong about their own feelings, thatās their prerogative. Itās always their choice of whether or not they want to face their own feelings or not.
āāMaybe youāll finally knock some sense into him.ā āI doubt it.ā Keefe winked, but Sophie looked away.ā More of Keefe acting like his stupidity is just a quirky little trait instead of a flaw that could cost him or someone else their life. Being stupid is not a personality trait. Itās a flaw. He needs to stop treating being stupid like itās this innate trait thatās just a part of who he is. Itās not.
āāIām guessing at least a week. Maybe more.ā āYeah, thatās not happening,ā Keefe told him. āYouāll regret it if you donāt,ā Elwin warned. āPlay this smart and the most youāll have is a thin scar. But if youāre not careful, you could end up with nerve damage.āā Is Keefe really so stupid that heās going to choose to have permanent damage because he wonāt bed rest for a week of his life? This is. I canāt even.
āāThat depends on what my mom tells us,ā Keefe argued. āIf weāre heading straight to Nightfallāā āYouāre not going to Nightfall,ā Sophie interrupted. āYouāre doing bed rest until Elwin says youāre better.ā Keefe smirked. āItās cute that you think that.āā Why does Keefe need to be so stubborn about everything? Even this??? He literally throws away a perfectly smart thing to do with no drawbacks because . . . he wants to be with Sophie when she goes to Nightfall. Thatās it. Again, he pedestalizes Sophie to such an extent that it makes him stupid.Ā
āKeefe wrapped his arm around Sophie. āFoster gets all worked up when sheās trying to protect me.ā āThatās not what this is about!ā Sophie snapped, pulling away.ā Keefe literally tries to flirt his way out of Sophieās anger, with a dash of infantilization thrown in for funsies.Ā
āāThough would it kill you to do the smart thing, just once, and actually listen to someone when theyāre giving you good advice, instead of thinking you know everything and doing whatever you want?ā Keefe considered that for a second. āYeah, that might actually kill me.āā I seriously have no words. Keefe literally admitted that heās stubborn to an excruciating extent, stupid, and arrogant, and he doesnāt see a problem with that at all. He genuinely just believes that they're innate parts of him, not flaws.Ā
āSophie couldnāt look at Keefe after that. She didnāt want to see the hurt in his eyes as she dug out her home crystal.ā If heās hurting in this scene, then he deserves to be hurting. All heās done is do stupid stuff and hijack everything without consideration for other people. So, yeah. He deserves it.Ā
āāIn case you need help deciding, Iād go with the part of you that wants to run over here for an epic Team Foster-Keefe hugfest, and not the part that wants to rip off my arms and smack me with them.āā Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Starting in this book, Shannon uses the suffix āfestā incessantly, and doesnāt stop. Itās such a terrible choice that while itās cringy the first few times, it quickly becomes unbearable as she keeps doing it. And Keefe gets it the worst.
[cut because character limit]
āāIāve also been eavesdropping outsideāplus, Forkle hailed me this morning and caught me up on everything thatās been happening. So I already know about the giant beast things my mom made, and how we have a drugged Alvar in custody, and how all that boring stuff from Lady Cadenceās report about bacteria turned out to have something to do with flowers, and how thereās apparently another Nightfall in Atlantis thatās not part of my legacy, and thatās where we need to go to get your parents. Oh, and my mom wants us to steal from it and destroy itāwhich totally kills the fun, but Iām still game for blowing a Neverseen hideout off the planet.āā Another example of Shannon using Keefe as narration. Itās like she doesnāt trust that her audience will follow the story, so she feels the need to recap it. But wait, thatās boring! Itās fine, just have a āāāāāāhumorousāāāāāā character do it! Itās a trick a lot of writers do when they think their audience is stupid, or they think what they wrote is too convoluted and want to make sure their audience has it straight. Itās also something authors do to pat themselves on the back, like, See? I wrote all that. And you just spent the last third of the book reading all that. Now, appreciate how much work I put in. Iām not saying Shannon doesnāt deserve praise for that plotline, and I genuinely think it's good, but I canāt stand it when she uses Keefe as a summary or narration gimmick. She couldāve just had Keefe say āI know everything I missedā and left it at that.
āāHow much groveling am I going to have to do before you trust me again?āā Keefe shouldnāt have to āgrovelā to regain Sophieās trust. Groveling is just words, no action. To regain trust, heās going to have to prove that he wonāt hijack everything and take over again. This is why this particular arc (miniarc?) of Keefeās makes no sense. He only goes through this development because Sophie was mad at him, not because he actually realizes something about himself. And then Sophie immediately trusts him again and lets him work with her on everything again without any period of time where sheās suspicious of Keefe. What Iām saying is, Keefeās breach of Sophieās trust never really impacts their relationship. They have a fight, immediately make up the very next time they see each other, and then itās over and done. Thereās no period of time where itās still a sore spot. No work to get to a point where Sophie feels like she can really trust Keefe again. As a result, it falls completely flat because Keefe didnāt earn anything. He just apologized and thatās it. But that shouldnāt be it. He should have a long way to go from now. An apology is just the start. Sophie shouldnāt forgive instantly. It just feels so cheap. It really shows how Shannon just wants a quick fix to Keefeās problems instead of a real arc with real character development.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāIām sorry, Sophie. Really. And Iāll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Thatās why I stayed in bed, even though I knew my mom had to be dragging you into a million dangerous things. I wanted to prove that I could do the right thing. Well, that and Ro threatened to tie me down and cover me in flesh-eating bacteria if I didnāt, and I could tell she meant it.āā Keefe says that he stayed in bed because Sophie wouldāve wanted him to and because he wanted to ādo the right thingā. Thatās . . . not what his motive shouldāve been. His intention shouldāve been to get stronger and heal. Thatās it. There should be none of this nonsense about ādoing it for Sophieā or ādoing the right thingā. He should want to get better so that he doesnāt have permanent damage. Again, his weird obsession with impressing Sophie and doing whatever he thinks sheāll want is showing through, and had Shannon been a better author, she couldāve made it a flaw and related it back to his abusive parents and how heās always craving attention because he never got enough from them or something. But instead, itās hailed as a great quality. So, remember when I said Iād refer back to that quote I wrote in red? This quote is a primary example that, while he does apologize to Sophie, he doesnāt actually change from this incident. There are several moments down the line where you will see that Keefe still hijacks plans and still disregards Sophieās feelings. An apology, sure, but thereās no actual growth. (Iāll put this quote in red too, so itās easy to see that these two things Iām bringing up are connected into one big point.) So to people making the argument that Keefe was finally held accountable and developed from this whole thing, I hate to say it, but Keefe is just as infuriatingly arrogant as before.Ā
āāBecause you can be wrong and still smarter than these guys,ā Keefe told her with a grin.ā Ah, Keefeās arrogance never fails to make me cringe practically out of my body. Maybe if he was more open-minded, we wouldnāt have to deal with his stupidity.
āāSo maybe you do it wrong,ā Tam suggested. āItās a puzzle,ā Keefe argued. āThe pieces should only fit together one way.āā Keefe is so stupid that he literally tries to claim that the āpieces should only fit together one wayā after just having seen evidence to the contrary. Literally, Iām not kidding, Sophie just put the puzzle together differently than him like two seconds ago and he says this. I knew he was arrogant, but damn. Canāt Shannon tone it down a little to at least try to make it seem like she gave Keefe actual development?
āāShe probably thinks Iām too dumb to put the key together the right way.āā This logic is so stupid. Even if Keefe was dumb enough to not be able to put it together, itās not like he works alone. Someone in the Black Swan or something wouldāve figured it out. And his mom knows that. His entire argument here makes no sense.
āHe reached up and wiped one of the tears trickling down her cheeks.ā Another weird example of Keefe touching Sophieās face. Itās quite creepy, and itās strange how Shannon tries to make it seem touching.
[cut because character limit]
āāOkay, two choices,ā Keefe told her, standing up and tilting her chin toward him. āYou can tell me whatās wrong. Or I can put my Empath powers to workābut keep in mind, Option B will likely pick up on all kinds of other feelings.ā Sophie gave him her surliest scowl, but he didnāt back down.ā First of all, hereās another example of Keefe touching Sophieās face creepily. Secondly, Keefe just extorted Sophieās personal feelings out of her. He just threatened to use his empathy on her if she didnāt tell him what was going on. He then said that if she didnāt tell him the thing she obviously doesnāt want to tell him, heād not only use his power on her and figure it out, but would also probably pick up on other things she doesnāt want him knowing about. Sophie then makes it very obvious that she doesnāt want to do it, but he ādidnāt back downā, by which Shannon of course means ādidnāt respect Sophieās feelings and her right to keep them to herselfā. That is so. That is just. I donāt understand how Shannon somehow managed to twist this into Keefe caring about Sophie. He threatened, coerced, manipulated, and extorted her into telling him, sure, but caring about her??? Donāt make me laugh. Keefe is possibly the most toxic character in this entire series, and it is disgusting how Shannon gives the impression that this is caring behavior, or correct in any capacity at all. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. Keefe needs to go back to seventh grade health class, where they teach you that no means no.Ā
āāI take it that means you havenāt joined Team Foster-Keefe?ā Ro asked. āBecause I have to admit, theyāre pretty cute together. Especially when she gets that look in her eye like sheās going to tear off his head.āā Ro is . . . a whole other subject. But oh, god. Shannon. What are you doing. If someone consistently and constantly āgets [a] lookā in their eye like theyāre āgoing to tear offā the other personās head, then thatās a sign that that other person is annoying and that they donāt enjoy spending time together. The other person is obviously driving the first person crazy and enjoys it, so why would you encourage that??? Stop feeding into this narrative that thatās a healthy thing to have. Itās not. Itās completely toxic for Keefe to take pleasure in annoying Sophie, and itās disgusting that Sophie is just expected to put up with it.
āāFigured you guys would say that,ā Keefe told them, āeven though you canāt really stop us.ā He winked at Sophie.ā Oh, boy. Shannonās really leaning into Keefeās ābad-boyā persona, isnāt she? Someone needs to explain to her the level of cringe this invokes. Also, the winking is back. Wow, isnāt Keefe so cool. You know, cuz he winks at Sophie like they're in on a secret or something. Isnāt that so badass.
āāBut I think youāre also forgetting, Foster, that weāve managed to get a lot done when school is in session. We stopped the gnomish plague while going to Exilliumāand you managed to look into the Everblaze while juggling midterms. You even got your abilities fixedāand healed Aldenāduring the first term this year.āā Shannon, please stop using Keefe as summary and narration. We know. We read the series. We donāt need you to recap it for us. Weāre well aware.
āāYouāre welcome for making it so you donāt have to stare at ten thousand reflections of yourself every day,ā Keefe told him. Sophie elbowed Keefe as she sat beside him. āYou donāt get to brag about leaving me covered in shattered glass.āā Keefe literally just joked about destroying Foxfire . . . wow. The audacity is. Just, wow. Sure, Sophie calls him out, but itās very light-hearted. Again, Keefe is incapable of being serious, even when the topic or time calls for it.
[cut because character limit]
āāMuch as Iām enjoying this sudden overflow of adorable Foster-rageāitās not worth it.āā Ah, more of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and invalidating her feelings. If someone finds your anger or worry āadorableā and acts like itās this cute little quirk, then thatās never a good thing. Especially if they enjoy it. Someone who cares about you should never enjoy seeing you angry or worried.Ā
āāUh, we all know Foster canāt bear to be away from meāand art is about honesty. Thatās why I made sure I have the best hair.āā Sometimes, I wonder how some of the shit Keefe says can even be real. How is he not collapsing from the cringe? Keep in mind, this is all taking place in front of a large audience.
āāOnly for some people,ā Biana noted. āHe gave the rest of us mood candy. Again.āā Yes, because he only cares about Sophie and prioritizes her over everyone. He only cares about her feelings and her wishes. He doesnāt extend the same courtesy to anyone else. In other words, he pedastalizes Sophie to such an extent, it makes him blind to other peopleās wishes. He has such tunnel vision, itās funny. Heās very neglectful of his other friends.
āāIām sure she didnāt. Thisāāhe traced a finger over the crease between her eyebrowsāādoesnāt make you very convincing.āā Keefe really needs to stop touching Sophieās face weirdly.
āHe strode over to her, and she tried to back away but crashed into the wall.ā Ah, the infamous scene. Keefe once again invades Sophieās personal space. He moves toward her, and when she tries to move away from him, he doesnāt let her move. Wow. Real upstanding guy. This is not romantic. This is creepy.Ā
āāOh, I know. But youāre forgetting something, Foster.ā He was close enough to reach out and gently tuck her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper, āI like a challenge.āā And then, as if creeping all over Sophie wasnāt enough, he gets up in her face, touches her face, and says this cringy-ass line. Again, this is not romantic. This is creepy.Ā
āāOn the one hand, the look on Fitzās face is pretty priceless right now, and I know itās killing him not to say, āBut weāre Cognates!ā But on the other hand . . . donāt go thinking this lets you into the Foster Fan Club, Bangs Boy!āā Can Keefe let any guy in their group do anything for Sophie without immediately seeing him as a threat?
āShe could feel him reaching for her gloveāand yanked her hand away.ā Keefe tries to breach Sophieās boundaries. But what else is new.
āIf sheād had it her way, sheād be alone. Sheād even tried asking Keefe to leave, but there was no getting rid of him.ā Sophie literally asked Keefe to leave her alone, and he didnāt. He disrespects her boundaries, invalidates her feelings and assumes that she wants him around all the time, even when she tells him she doesn't want him there. Thatās not being caring, thatās thinking you know someone elseās feelings better than they know their own feelings. This might be Keefeās worst act yet. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. You donāt assume that they donāt know their own wishes and encroach on their space, instead. Itās disgusting and manipulative, and the fact that Shannon said that in a throwaway, forgettable line shows that she doesnāt understand how horrific that is. Itās also another example of Keefe being arrogant and assuming that Sophie always needs him when sheās down. Only him, because he knows her so well! Itās very cocky and somewhat entitled behavior.
Nightfall Short Story:
āāLook! Iām all better!ā Keefe promised [ . . . ]ā Why did Shannon have to make Keefe so unbearably annoying. Like, seriously. Heās told heās going to have permanent damage if he doesnāt do bed rest and his reaction is literally Oh, well. He needs to stop treating serious issues like jokes.
āāI can always pry those pouty lips open and pour it down your throat,ā Ro added with a smile that showed every single one of her pointed teeth.ā Why is Keefe refusing to take his medicine??? Is he really that stupid and excruciating?
āāItās only for a weekā āUh, do you realize how many times Foster can almost die in a week?āā Does Keefe really think he can stop Sophie from almost dying??? Just because of his . . . presence??? Wow, heās even more arrogant than I thought.Ā
āHe didnāt care what anyone said. Sophie needed his help.ā Oh, boy. He really does see himself as her savior. How adorable. And by adorable, I mean obsessive and creepy. Is he really so stupid and stubborn that heās willing to risk doing permanent damage to his body just so he can . . . see her? He wonāt even be able to go with her to Nightfall??? What exactly does he think heās going to do?
āThen he was lost to his floaty dreams, most of which focused on the gold-flecked brown eyes he could never get out of his head.ā What Wattpad author held a gun to Shannonās head for her to write this??? Damn . . . he really does have an unhealthy obsession with her.Ā
āāIt is. Itās going to take me a little while to make itābut itāll seriously top every gift sheās been given before.āā Fantastic. So heās still as arrogant as ever. Even after whatever miniscule amount of character development he supposedly gets in this story.
āFrom that point on, he only had one goal: to be whatever Sophie needed. Not the hero. Not the one taking charge of everything. Just a guy ready to listen and help and be there for her. A friend. Until she was ready for more.ā The fact that his āone goalā is essentially to be obsessed with Sophie is kinda. Not good. Keefe is a classic case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome. It takes over everything and he canāt even do a week of bed rest without obsessing over her every single day of it. Also, the part at the end where he says āUntil she was ready for moreā . . . bro. I do not have the words to describe how disgusting that is. He just sort of . . . assumes that one day he and Sophie will end up together. Now, think back to all the times heās begged Sophie not to hate him. Even at this moment, he knows Sophieās angry with him. If he truly thought she would hate him, why would he assume that heād end up with her someday? Itās a walking contradiction. Itās so revolting to assume that one day someone you like will end up with you. It also proves my point that Shannon only throws all those āPlease donāt hate meās in there to attract pity for Keefe. If he actually believed she would ever hate him, he wouldnāt assume so readily that one day she would be āready for moreā. Pick a lane Shannon: he can either be sure Sophie will want to be with him someday, or he can think she hates him, but you canāt have it both ways. Theyāre opposites.
Flashback:
āā[ . . . ] forced herself to meet Keefeās ice blue eyes. āIām fine.ā When he raised one eyebrow, she added, āIām just frustrated [ . . . ]āā (7) Thatās right, the page numbers return. And I have physical copies of the rest of the series, so theyāre here to stay. It may seem like Keefe is just trying to check on Sophie and make sure sheās okay, which is a noble cause, but when someone says they donāt want to talk about something, that means they donāt want to talk about it. That does not mean you prod and prod until they spill. So many things Sophie tells Keefe get twisted and people think she tells him because she trusts him, but more often than not she doesnāt and he just prods her or extorts them out of her.
āāYouāre so adorable when you worry. Iāve told you that, right?āā (12) Yes, you have, and saying it more doesnāt make it any less icky and gross and infantilizing. Itās like heās dumbing Sophie down to this object who only exists to entertain him with her adowabuw wittle feewings, instead of a person with very real, very complex emotions.
āHe traced his thumb over the sliver of skin between her glove and the edge of her beaded sleeve. āThereās something youāre not saying right now. I can feel it.āā (12) Keefe once again breaches boundaries because he canāt keep his nose out of other peopleās personal feelings. He has no right to just help himself to Sophieās emotions like that. Itās a massive breach of boundaries, and then using that to try to pry the secret out of her is nothing short of repulsive behavior.
āāCome on, Foster. Itās me. You know you can trust me.āā (12) Does she? Does she know that? Because it seems like in order to trust Keefe, Sophie would have to know that for herself, instead of having Keefe feed that to her. Sophie likely does trust Keefe, even if her trust is misplaced, but saying it like that is very, very manipulative. And Sophie really shouldnāt trust Keefe, because almost everything she tells him is manipulated and extorted out of her. Sheād tell him a lot less if it werenāt for his toxic traits and extortive empathy.Ā
āāLord Hunkyhair,ā Keefe corrected. āWhat? Itās accurate.ā He tossed his head like he was in a shampoo commercial.ā (20) I forgot about this atrocious nickname.
āāFintan knew Keefe would be dumb enough to go after them,ā Ruy added, āso he had our Technopath make a couple of replicas.āā (89) I mean . . . he isnāt wrong about Keefeās stupidity.
āTam and Keefe had been feuding since the moment theyād metāeven though they were so similar it was kind of hilarious.ā (117) Again, if Shannon wants us to believe that Keefe and Tam have this deep rivalry, rather than Keefe being jealous of Tam and Tam thinking Keefeās annoying because he gets possessive of Sophie, then sheās going to have to put a lot more effort into it then that.
āāItās okay to hate me,ā Keefe said from the doorway.ā (138) Oh, boy, here comes the forced consolation scene pity-party. Thatās going to take up a whole two chapters, by the way. I donāt know about you, but I really donāt want to watch Keefe wallow in his own self-pity while Sophie strokes his ego for two entire chapters.Ā
āāFintanās good. His emotions always felt normal when I asked about the caches. A little nervous. A little suspicious. Exactly the way he wouldāve felt if they were real.āā Wait, Keefe asked Fintan about the caches??? This is just getting better and better, by which I mean Keefeās getting stupider and stupider. My guy. Have some subtlety. When asking about something you want, you donāt just outright ask that. Keefeās even dumber than I thought. Seriously, how did he think he was smarter than the Neverseen?
[cut because character limit]
āāDonāt beat yourself up about the caches. Weāll figure something out.āā (140) Thatās the thing, though. Keefe needs to do some serious thinking about his choices and how they affect the entire thing. He needs to have that development. But Shannon wants to convince the audience that heās fine the way he is. He doesnāt need to repent and change! He just needs to be entirely devoted to Sophie and everyone will still love him. He faces no consequences for running off with the Neverseen at all, despite the fact that he set them back. A lot. Heās still allowed to be in on all their plans and still trusted. Do you see what I mean? Itās like it never happened. Itās like he never ran off to join the Neverseen. Thereās no impact. Everyone still trusts him, everyone still relies on him, nobodyās wary, nobody thinks heās going to mess something else up, even though heās proven, time and time again, that heās reckless and cannot be trusted. Keefe cannot be trusted. But the narrative refuses to acknowledge it. He should be forced to sit on the side while everyone else comes up with a plan that excludes him. That should be when he realizes he canāt be trusted because he thinks heās smarter than everyone and messes everything up. Keefeās arc practically wrote itself for Shannon, but she refuses to let her character have growth. Keefe needs to have people, especially Sophie, be mad at him, so that he can realize what he did that was so wrong.
āāYou donāt have to tell me Iām a jerk,ā Keefe mumbled. āI already know.āā (147) Does he? Because if he was truly sorry, he would volunteer to sit on the sideline, so he knew he wouldnāt mess anything up again. He would volunteer to face whatever consequences he shouldāve had coming for his actions. But he doesnāt. Because he isnāt truly repentant. Heās just throwing a pity party for himself. In the end, heās just a pity magnet whose only purpose in the story is to lay it on thick so that he can gain more and more pity. Thereās really nothing to pity him for. He did the action, so he has to face the consequence. Itās that simple. But he doesnāt. Remember what I said about how Keefe, despite Shannon claiming he doesnāt want pity, really does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity to make the audience feel sorry for him? Well this entire scene is a prime example.
ā[ . . . ] every reckless decision heād made over the last year was all part of his desperate attempt to relieve the shame and fear that were eating him up inside. That was the problem with guilt.ā (148) By the way, Keefeās whole ālegacyā backstory is just another excuse for his actions. In the barest sense, nothing Keefeās mom does or plans for him is on Keefe. He has no control and none of thatās his fault. So the fact that Shannon built his entire story on the fact that heās guilty over something he didnāt do is so stupid I donāt have the words for it. If he doesnāt have something to be guilty over, how can he be a pity magnet? But if he does have something to be guilty over, heād actually have to do something to deserve that guilt, right? So Shannon tries to have it both ways. Her precious Keefe canāt do anything actually wrong, or he wonāt be so perfectly innocent anymore. So whereās his sob story going to come from? Oh right, heāll just feel responsible for his momās actions. A perfect fix to the conundrum. But really it makes no sense at all. And it gives her every excuse to heap a suffocating amount of pity on him while simultaneously having him insist he hates pity.
āāToo bad Iām stuck being the designated loser,ā Keefe said under his breath.ā (149) Quite the pity party heās throwing for himself there. Nothing ever got accomplished because someone wallowed in their self-pity. And thatās all Keefe does.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāDo you trust me?ā she asked. āOf course I do---thatās not the problem.āā (151) No, he may think he trusts her. But he really doesnāt. If he truly trusted her, he wouldnāt keep thinking heās smarter than her and making plans without consulting her. He would value her input in his plans if he trusted her. He would stop feeling this incessant need to protect her and trust that sheād be able to handle herself. Because, letās face it, more often than not, Keefe ends up giving Sophie more grief and worry than anything. Sheās always worried about him and heās even set her progress back several times. But he still thinks he needs to be there for her all the time. Not to mention, he doesnāt trust her decision when she says she doesn't want to share her feelings and thoughts with him, so he forces them out of her. True trust isnāt constantly leaping into that person's business and constantly trying to save them when they donāt need or want you to. True trust is trusting that they know what they want and need, and acting accordingly.Ā
āāUmber wouldnāt have been able to find you if I hadnāt given you that pendant. Just like the day the Neverseen broke Silvenyās wing because of the Sencen crest I was wearing.ā āAnd you know what both of those things have in common?ā Sophie asked. āYou had no idea that the Neverseen were manipulating you.āā (151) You know what Iām going to say. Forced consolation scene. The first statement Keefe says is valid. That mistake was on Keefe. Heās the one who thought he was smarter than everyone and then made such horrible mistakes that Sophie and Fitz will now have to recover for a third of this book. That was entirely on him. And honestly, pity shouldnāt be the automatic reaction. Anger is fine, too. But if Sophieās angry at Keefe (as she should be), how can the narrative continue to pity him? But Keefeās second statement is clearly thrown in there to attract pity. Look, itās poor Keefe again, blaming himself for his momās actions again. Itās not pitiable. Itās just plain stupid. That wasnāt on Keefe in the slightest. The narrative then tries to equate both these actions with each other in Sophieās statement, which is clearly an attempt to absolve Keefe of any blame for what he did when he was with the Neverseen. He underestimated his opponent and in his overconfidence, thought he could outplay them. He took a stupid risk without considering what his team would think and stole the pendant back without a thought in the direction of whether the Neverseen would suspect him. He even says in Lodestar that he didnāt know what he was going to do if the Neverseen figured out what happened (I have the quote up there somewhere). Thatās the thing. That entire situation is on him. Itās his mess and his fault. But the Sencen crest isnāt. Shannon, please stop comparing two incomparable situations to make Keefe look good. Also, what does Keefe even want? What is the point of him doing all this wallowing? Does he want Sophie to blame and hate him? No, obviously not. Does he want to be punished and face the consequences of his actions? No, because if he did, he would suggest that. So, in the end, all his wallowing, and dare I say whining, is just that: whining. It leads nowhere, does nothing, results in no ideas for how Keefe wants to prevent something similar from happening again, and is just Shannon trying to make Keefe pitiable. There is no point to any of this. It results in no change, no development, no ideas from Keefe about how he will change, which makes it the perfect recipe for an easily resettable conversation. Because thatās all these forced consolation scenes are. The same exact conversation, which results in no change, so that it can be had over and over and over.Ā
This scene is so unbearably long, and for what? Unfortunately, I canāt copy down the whole thing, but oh, boy. Shannon really needs to stop these horrible forced consolation scenes that eat up so much time.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāUgh, I shouldnāt tell you this, since itāll just make you think Iām even more messed up than you already doāā [ . . . ] āAll I know is, weapons and blood donāt bother me the way they bother other people, so . . . yeah. Feel free to think Iām super creepyāā (161) The forced consolation is really being laid on thick. Shannon has switched from Sophie comforting Keefe over his guilt over something he didnāt do (over and over and over, just so Shannon can really annoy the point into us) to Sophie saying Keefe isnāt creepy because . . . weapons and blood donāt bother him. Huh??? Why would someone get freaked out because someone else isnāt bothered by blood??? That doesnāt automatically make them a killer. What kind of leap in logic is this??? But of course, Shannon has to have something to fuel her forced consolation scenes, and sheās burnt out all the Keefeās-guilt-over-his-mom thing, so she has to switch to something else. Also, Keefe couldnāt be more of a pity magnet. He literally thought that Sophie would hate him because . . . weapons donāt freak him out. While theyāre in the middle of a war. Wow. Shannon so badly wants us to pity him, itās pathetic. Sophie needs to be Keefeās personal assurance robot over something, so now itās his nonaversion to blood. Thatās the thing. Sophie always has to reassure Keefe of some dumb thing he shouldnāt worry about, and Shannon loves to blow it out of proportion to make it seem like this huge thing when itās not. Thatās why her forced consolation scenes are so forced. Because the consolation happens over the stupidest things. And thereās so many of them, like Shannonās trying to convince us that we should really think this is something worth spending so much page time on.Ā
āāWell, I think itās safe to say that the Fitzphie slumber party is a total snoozefest,ā Keefe said [ . . . ]ā (219) Keefeās incessant use of ship names and the term āfestā returns with a vengeance. I honestly donāt get how Shannon didnāt see how juvenile his dialogue sounds. He doesnāt sound fifteen. He sounds six.
āāYouāve had this campus to yourself all night every night, and you havenāt caused even a tiny bit of chaos.āā (223) Is this guy for real??? Serious??? While sheās literally on bed rest? I- I donāt have the words to describe how stupid he is. And if he isnāt being serious, then oh, boy, are his jokes so atrociously bad it concerns me.
āāIām really not in the mood.ā āI knowāthatās what makes it extra fun. Go on.āā (225) Keefe stop salivating at any opportunity to annoy Sophie for his own amusement challenge. Keefe stop being a selfish piece of shit challenge.
āāI thought if they saw me as Captain Committed, theyād teach me something good.āā (227) Shannon really needs to stop with the atrocity that is her nickname humor.Ā
āāI shouldnāt have brought up any of those worries. Edaline warned me that you need to stay calm right now.āā (231) Nothing to say about this right now, but just remember this quote. Iāll touch on it in a little bit. Coloring it green to make it easy.Ā
āāRest. Recover. Take whatever medicine and time you need to get strong again. And trust the rest of us to cover anything that comes up while youāre down.āā (233) If only Keefe had taken his own advice a book ago . . . and someone's going to say "But he learned his lesson, didn't he?" To that, I say I've already covered all the reasons why he really didn't.
āāI didnāt get swoony,ā Sophie felt the need to point out. āKeep telling yourself that, Foster. Keeeeeeeeeep telling yourself that.āā (235) First of all, counting those Es out was misery. At some point in Nightfall, Shannon really starts to jack up the amount of times she does that stretchy-word thing. And secondly, Keefeās lack of self-awareness is as cringy as ever.
āāI think Scaley Butt should be near Krakie so it looks like theyāre swimming together. And then Bitey could be close to The Stink so it looks like heās trying to chomp him.āā (251) A perfect example of Keefeās atrocious mixture of potty humor and nickname humor, in the worst way possible.
[cut because character limit]
āāYeah, what time should we arrive to catch the Great Fitzphie Ooze Fest?āā (301) Someone needs to take away Shannonās ability to type the word āfestā. Also Keefeās horrible nicknames paired with immature humor strikes again.Ā
āāI thought you werenāt supposed to be teasing Fitz,ā Sophie reminded him instead. āIām not, but . . . he makes it so easy.āā (303) So when Keefe doesnāt want to set Sophieās recovery back, he takes measures to make sure he doesnāt (remember that quote I told you to remember?), but when he has to do the same with Fitz, he doesnāt even seem remorseful when he slips up. He clearly favors Sophie, and remember, Fitz is supposed to be his best friend. He really doesnāt care about Fitz or his recovery at all. But he cares about Sophieās.
āāHear that, Ro?ā he interrupted. āSheās giving me her serious voice.āā (304) Another example of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and dumbing her feelings down for the sake of a joke. Awwww, isnāt her serious voice so cute? She only does that when she thinks she has something important to say to us grown-ups! Awwwwwww.Ā
āāHe really doesnāt know when to quit, does he?ā Ro asked Sophie. āIām pretty sure itās a disease,ā Fitz told her. āCoping mechanism,ā Keefe argued.ā (309) Shannon, pointing out Keefeās flaws doesnāt give him character development. You actually have to like. Develop him. Also, the fact that Keefe had the perfect chance to reflect and change and instead decided to be as resistant to growth as he always is really says something about him.
āāWhy else would you spend so much time helping Miss Fosterās cause?ā āUh . . . youāve seen how cute she is, right?āā (312) Oh, gosh. Shannon really cranked Keefeās atrocious humor up to eleven for this book, and since a good chunk of this book is filler, thatās all we have to go on for a good section. And if I thought it was bad when it was sectioned out, itās even more unbearable now that Shannon is dumping it all on us at once. First of all, Keefe basically flat-out admitted a good chunk of his motive is because he wants to impress Sophie. People will argue and say that heās just joking, but reading his short story was proof enough that heās not really kidding. And second of all, Shannon really uses the word āUhā a lot in this book right before someone makes a joke. It was fine at first, but it becomes so noticeable as the book goes on. Itās like sheās trying to tell us to brace for a joke.Ā
āI tell Keefe that stuff because itās been the only way to get him to open up to me, she explained.āĀ (323) Actually, more often than not, she doesnāt want to tell him anything. Usually, he forces it out of her with his empathy or manipulation or his general annoying demeanor. But thank you for twisting the narrative, Shannon.Ā
āKeefe guessed most of the story on his own, and I couldnāt deny it because Empaths are annoyingly impossible to lie to.ā (324) That is not what happened. Itās explicitly said that Keefe ādragged the story out of her through relentless questionsā (paraphrase, I have the real quote up there somewhere). He didnāt have to ask that. He couldāve respected Sophieās boundaries and feelings. But he always has to stick his nose in everything when he thinks itās his business. Fitz actually has a way better reason to know than Keefe; he just wants to improve their cognate relationship, but Keefe just wants to be nosy.
āShe wasnāt sure if they were allowed to tell himābut it was so much easier than arguing.ā (336) Keefe has literally annoyed Sophie so much that she doesnāt even think itās worth the fight to keep a secret. Thatās not good. It means that Sophie just succumbs to whatever he wants without a thought. Thatās pretty much the highest sign of a toxic relationship.
āāBut you're kinda scraping bottom if youāre using me as the model of good decisions. Especially decisions concerning my parents.āā (337) Once again, Keefe shows that heās fully aware of how dumb he is, heās just so overly stubborn that he refuses to change. Shannon acts like this is an innate part of her personality and refuses to acknowledge it as a flaw.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āItās always fun when you get feisty.ā (355) Iāve said this about a gajillion times, but Keefeās infantilization of Sophie is so horrific, itās like he doesnāt care about her at all. He just sees her emotions as amusement for himself.Ā
āMy life isnāt perfect, Fitz argued. Maybe not. But itās pretty close, dude. I mean, yeah, Alvarās a creepābut you still have your dad. And your mom. And Biana. And youāre still top of our class. And youāre Fosterās Cognate and . . . even without all of that, youāre still a Vacker. Youāre always going to be the golden boy everyone expects greatness from. And Iāll always be the mess.ā (360) Wow, Keefe is throwing quite the pity-party there for himself. If he didnāt want pity (which he explicitly says), then why does he keep saying heās a mess? What are people supposed to say to that, besides Youāre not a mess? Does he want them to tell him heās a mess? This is a real thing people do, by the way, where they say negative things about themselves so that other people will reassure them theyāre wrong. Keefeās a massive hypocrite. If he truly didnāt want any sympathy, he wouldnāt keep saying heās a mess and keep forcing the subject. Also, Fitzās life is not perfect. Especially not now. I touched on this briefly before, but Keefe wouldnāt be jealous of Fitz being the top of their class. It makes no sense, when Keefe goes out of his way to cause trouble for himself in the academic department. It might make sense if Keefe tried and studied and still never matched Fitz, but we already know he doesnāt care. So this is another statement thatās just meant to attract pity and sympathy.
āSophie had no idea what that meantābut it didnāt matter. Iām always going to be your friend. So am I, Fitz added. You sure about that? Keefe asked [ . . . ]ā (361) Again, if Keefe really didnāt want pity, he wouldnāt keep going out of his way to say things that invoke pity. He would try to stay as far away from the subject as possible.
āāRemember that? Such a classic Keephie moment!āā (380) Shannon needs to stop doing this whole self-aware thing. It doesnāt make her look smart to have Keefe talk about the ships in this series like heās not involved in the story. Itās incredibly cringy.
āIs this that thing adults do where they make you think theyāre giving you what you want but really theyāre just wasting your time?āā (381) Another thing Shannon does is try to make the kids āāāāāārelatableāāāāāā by having them complain about adults all the time. Which is not how teenagers actually are. And once again, Keefe gets it the worst. Also, ungrateful much? Tiergan essentially offered to give him what he wants and he still fights it.
āāYeah, well [Sophie wearing Linhās tunic] still breaks the fan club rules. As penance, Iām getting you a tunic that says, Empaths Give Me All the Feels, and I expect to see you wear it twice as often as Bangs Boyās.āā (421) This is a joke, but the fact that Keefe makes such a big deal out of the tunic says a lot about his pathetic jealousy of Tam.
āNah, he likes you better than me. Everyone does.ā āNo they donāt.ā āOh really? Tell me this: Have you heard from the Fitzster since he went home for the happy family reunion?āā (519) Another example of Keefe wallowing in self-pity. This book easily gets it the worst. It feels like everytime Keefeās on-page, Shannon uses it to invoke more and more pity for him. If he doesnāt want people to pity him, then why does he keep saying things that invoke pity??? He doesnāt need to. Again, what exactly does he want Sophie to say? āYes, Keefe, everyone hates youā? He is such a pity magnet and I get so tired of his constant whining because Shannon just does it so much. Then Keefe has the audacity to turn around and say shit like āI donāt want your pityā. Like, Keefe. My guy. You kinda sorta arenāt really giving them a choice with the things you say.Ā
[cut because character limit]
āāEverything okay? Need me to leap over there? I willāI donāt care if Ro wins the bet.āā (521) First of all, if Sophie was not okay, what is Keefe going to do to make her feel better? Talk to her? Heās already doing that right now. Maybe read her emotions and extort a secret out of her? Also why does he automatically assume that Sophie needs him when sheās feeling down? Thatās just. Such a bold assumption to make. Also, the fact that heās so obsessed with Sophie to the point of throwing his bet under the bus just because she . . . looked tired? Is not good. Thatās not a good thing. Itās a textbook sign of obsession. And Keefeās obsession with and prioritization of Sophie is incredibly toxic. Again, if Shannon had made that out to be a negative quality on his part, it would be fine. But instead, she makes it seem like a desirable trait. Heās probably not willing to do that for anyone else, too. Like Iām sure he wouldnāt be willing to do that for Fitz, since heās already admitted that he hasnāt talked to Fitz since he left the Healing Center. Thatās on Fitz, too, sure, but a relationship goes two ways. So itās also on Keefe.
āāSounds like I need to head over there after Daddyās little hugfest tomorrow.āā (522) I just ranted about his obsession with Sophie, but this line is mostly here because itās another example of Shannonās love for the term āfestā.
āāI can tell thereās something you're not telling me right nowābut Iām not going to force you to talk about it. If you say youāre good, Iāll trust you.āā (522) Where did this sudden change come from? I know Iāve complained about this incessantly for this entire rant, but this seriously came out of nowhere. There was no development that led to this. Itās also a complete throwaway line, like blink-and-you-miss-it kind of thing. Itās a good thing, but it feels like Shannon randomly realized how creepy Keefe has been this entire time and shoehorned this in so itād make him feel less creepy. Well, telling isnāt showing, Shannon, and it doesnāt change the fact that Keefe does this. A lot.Ā
āā[ . . . ] if you and Fitz are visiting troll-baby hives without me, I am definitely losing at life, you know?āā (671) Someone needs to tell this guy that he doesnāt have to be a part of everything that happens in Sophieās life.Ā
āāSo . . . you donāt hate me?ā Sophie rolled her eyes. āUgh, how many times do I have to tell youāIām never going to hate you!ā His smile looked tired. āWell. I guess thatās good enough. For now.āā (684) Again, Shannon really tries hard to make us pity Keefe. Also, that last part. Sophie not hating Keefe being āgood enoughā āfor nowā obviously implies that Keefe expects something more from her in the future. Shannon almost certainly wrote this with Sokeefe implications in mind, which is such a shitty thing for Keefe to say. Heās basically saying āYou being my friend is fine for now, but one day I expect something moreā. Itās honestly incredibly shitty. But also really subtle. So it can be skipped over or accidentally ignored.
āāThank you for thinking about me,ā he whispered. āNo one does that.ā āLots of people care about you, Keefe,ā Sophie gently corrected. He sighed. āI guess, but . . . āā (725) The end of that sentence should be āthose people who care about me arenāt you, and yours is the only opinion I care about because I pedestalize you heavilyā. Again, if Keefe really didnāt want pity, he wouldnāt keep bringing things like this up. Plenty of people care about Keefe. He just pushes them all away except Sophie and then turns around and basically claims Sophieās the only one thinking of him. Again, he prioritizes Sophie and then gets all woe is me, nobody cares about me except Sophie when he is the one pushing them all away.
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There isnāt really a quote to go with this, but Keefe only uses his emotional-calming breezes for Sophie, when itās been proven they can work on anybody. He doesn't use them to help Fitz, although Fitz definitely couldāve used a couple throughout the climax of this book. He doesnāt use them to help Linh, either, when Linh learns about Tam. It's another way he pedestalizes Sophie to an unhealthy extent, and itās not a good thing.Ā
Flashback Short Story: Keefe
āāSophieās not some prize that Fitz and I get to fight over. Sheās a person. And she has her own feelingsāand no one knows those feelings better than I do!āā Again, it feels like Shannon randomly realized she had Keefe act like a jealous, possessive, manipulative asshole for the past book and wanted to turn that around so she added this in. But saying it doesnāt make it true. The mountain of evidence Iāve provided should make that clear enough. Again, itās part of Shannonās not-so-subtle pedestalization of Keefe. And the part where he says āno one knows those feelings better than I doā . . . oh, the nerve. The only reason he knows why sheās feeling what sheās feeling half the time is because he uses his empathy to extort her secrets out of her. Itās usually not because she wants to tell him or trusts him with whatever sheās feeling.Ā
Legacy
āāTell me why you have that cute little crease between your eyebrows.āā (70) You already know what Iām going to say. Keefe finding Sophieās worry cute is textbook infantilization. But also, if he finds her worry and anger so adorable, whatās he gonna do when the Neverseen are defeated and Sophie doesnāt have as many things worrying her?
āāYou already know my mom gave me a letter to deliver to a house in London with a green door,ā he reminded Sophie as she made her way over. āAnd you said Fintan told you she sent me there to recruit somebody.āā (75) Yet another example of Shannon using Keefeās dialogue as narration for things the audience already knows. Iām sure youāve all heard of the āAs you knowā cardinal writing sin, but this is even worse than that because writers usually use it to convey something the audience doesnāt know. But Shannon literally used this to convey something the audience is already aware of. What the heck??? Shannon, stop treating your audience like weāre stupid. We read the previous book. We know whatās happening.
By the way, Sophie has some of the issues Iāve talked about here, too. Within a few pages alone in this chapter, sheās already gotten butthurt that Keefe left her out of one of his personal projects and tries to force her way into it (being nosy about things that arenāt strictly her business) and grabs one of his notebooks without his permission while he looks visibly uncomfortable and flips through it (invading his personal privacy). So itās not just Keefe that has the problems Iāve listed here. But this list is strictly about Keefe, as Iāve said, so I wonāt talk about anyone else, so in case youāre thinking āWell, [other character] did that too, and you never talked about itā, itās because this list is solely reasons I donāt like Keefe.Ā
āāIām not sitting any of this out! And if you try to lock me up, itās on.āā (88) Keefe once again demonstrates a startling lack of growth. He acts like a petulant child whose parents wonāt let them go outside while itās raining or something. He just got information that the Neverseen, specifically Tam, have been ordered to kill him. And knowing this, he insists on not āsitting any of this outā, even though he knows that heās been ordered to be killed. He once again doesnāt care about how this might impact Sophieās mental health, and his stupidity is back with full force. When youāre told that someone wants you, specifically you, dead, you listen. Heās so headstrong and arrogant that he thinks he can just, what, not be killed by pure determination? The Neverseen have already proven he canāt just do that. If Keefe could just make a single smart decision in his life or listen to a single good piece of advice, he might not be so annoying and frustrating as a character all the time.
āāIf something goes down in Loamnore like Forkleās predicting, I will be there with you guys. Just like Iāll be there for anything else that happensāso letās not make this into a fight, okay?āā (90) Once again, Keefe proves that he cannot take good advice. He throws his loved onesā mental health under the bus because heās too selfish not to sit one battle out for their sake. He still hasnāt faced a single consequence for the whole running-off-to-join-the-Neverseen thing, which he admitted in the last book was his biggest mistake. Actions like that should have consequences. And when youāve been preemptively warned that you might be killed and still choose to go into the battle . . . wow. Thatās just plain stupidity. And again, the fact that Keefe is willing to forsake Sophieās opinion on the matter is ridiculously arrogant and taking-over-ish.
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āāYouāll say, āWow, thatās the hottest Wanderling Iāve ever seen! Who knew a tree could have such awesome hair?ā And then youāll all sit under my stunning leaves and write poems about my general amazingness.āā (91) Again, Keefe doesnāt know when to be serious. You canāt just joke your way through everything. Some things need to be treated with an appropriate amount of gravity. And Keefe doesn't know when to shut up with the jokes. Itās not a good quality. It makes him tone-deaf and insensitive.Ā
āāI can joke about anything!āā (91) Like I just said, this isnāt a flex. Itās not a good thing. Itās very much a bad quality to have. People donāt need jokes all the time. They need them during appropriate times.Ā
āāWeāre always complaining that we donāt have any good leads. But Iām the lead. And I canāt help you guys if Iām hiding.āā (93) Keefeās even stupider than I thought, which is really saying something. If Keefeās the lead, then by definition, he doesnāt have to go anywhere to be useful. His argument is literally āIām a lead to possibly useful information so you should let me go placesā. Serious??? Real??? Bro. Keefe can be a lead sitting at home just fine. You donāt have to go anywhere to draw in a notebook. The fact that this is his argument and the fact that itās not countered is just plain ridiculous. And stupid. Did I mention stupid? Because this argument is so stupid.
āāMaster elixir maker, ultimate gadget manipulator, and he scored a Foster kiss before Fitzy.āā (94) Keefe literally just casually spilled Sophieās secret, emphasis on secret, to Sandor and Ro when he knew Sophie didnāt want him to. Thatās just. And itās treated so casually by the narrative. Sophie gets over it in half a second, and she just tells Keefe to stop distracting her. Thatās it. This is a huge violation of trust and privacy and Keefe just every-so-casually violated it to try to distract Sophie for half a second. Thatās just. Itās so. That is revolting behavior. Itās toxic, itās selfish, itās embarrassing (for Sophie), and Keefe, once again, faces no consequences for his actions. The line is a complete throwaway one, and Shannonās attempt to make this a seemingly normal thing to do instead of the disgusting thing it really was is pathetic. Iād also like to mention that just a book ago, Sophie wouldnāt even tell Fitz, her cognate, who only wanted this information for the sake of their bond, the full story, because Dex had not consented to having the secret spilled. And now Keefe just spills it and youāre telling me Sophieās just chill with that???
āāSee, but āsmartā isnāt my brand. Iām more āreckless dream guy without a careā! Itās part of my whole ābad boyā image.āā (95) Did. Did Keefe just describe himself using blatant stereotypes? Wow. I- Thatās just. Wow. Shannon really doesnāt have a single iota of shame. Also, her trying to make Keefeās recklessness seem like a personality quirk instead of a very real flaw that could get someone else or himself killed is very troubling. Shannon. Stop treating Keefeās recklessness like a good thing and stop letting him do reckless things without a hint of consequence. I promise nothing bad will happen to you if Keefe is allowed to grow and develop like a good character.
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āāYup! But I canāt stop her, so I might as well let her take you down with me.āā (97) This is Keefe talking about Ro using him as a lie detector to extort Sophieās secret out of her, by the way. Which Keefe agrees to do. Which he wouldnāt do if he really was a good friend. Just like Sophie wouldnāt have to make this deal with Ro if Keefe would just listen to good advice for once and do the smart thing. But he doesnāt care about Sophieās mental health, and he doesn't care about Sophieās feelings, because or else he would respect them by agreeing to stay out of the Neverseenās way and not using his empathy to extort secrets Sophie clearly doesn't want to share out of her. And Ro. Honestly, sheās even worse than Keefe, partly because of her personality, but mostly because of the wasted potential. Keefe was always going to be the ābad boy angsty prankster with daddy issues that causes troubleā trope that we've seen a million times. But Ro couldāve been so much more. Sheās the ogre princess, and the most Shannon could do with her is make her a Sokeefe fangirl.
āāHe just doesnāt take no for an answerāyou know how Keefe is.āā (147) Take that quote out of context, Shannon. I dare you. I wish Shannon would stop treating Keefeās toxicity as a quirky little trait. The āyou know how he isā implies that heās like that because Keefeās just Keefe, not because he forces his way into everything even when he shouldnāt. No means no. That is the number one rule of a healthy relationship. We teach this shit in school to teenagers so they donāt end up in abusive relationships, come on, Shannon. Even some random kid with a C- in health class knows more about toxic relationships than you do.
āāI just love how it took you less than a day after your little chat with Bangs Boy to cut me out of everything.āā (215) Why are we looping back to this conversation??? We already spent almost a hundred pages of the book on it, and no, that is not an exaggeration. You can check. But of course, Keefe canāt not whine. He canāt not be annoying. He canāt not be stupid and nosy and unconcerned for his own safety and take everything Sophie does without him personally.
āāNot saying she wouldnāt try. But I bet you anything Keefe will find a loophole.āā (270) I really wish people would stop acting like Keefeās this super smart, all-powerful entity that can get out of any situation just because heās Keefe. More often than not, Keefe is really stupid. Heās certainly not smart enough to figure out a way to escape an ogre dungeon. People need to stop acting like Keefe could get out of anything. Itās just another way Shannon tries to convince us heās this smart guy, which is another way of propping up his arrogance.
āāYeah, Dex told me all about how not exhausting that was last night, when he checked in to tell me how things went for you two in London, while someone was off doing something with Mr. Forkle that was clearly both frustrating and intenseāas most things with Forkle tend to be.āā (351) Sophie immediately goes to Keefe, and he subtly blames Sophie for not telling him what happened because of what she was doing with Forkle, which he even admits was frustrating and intense. That is such an asshole move, I canāt even. He literally blames her for not checking in with him because she had an emotionally exhausting day. Wow. Itās like he expects Sophie to be as obsessed with him as he is with her.Ā
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āāBut do you really think youāre going to be able to leave here without telling me what happened with the Forklenator? If you do, youāre going to be sorely, sorely disappointedāand covered in biscuit crumbs.āā (351) Again, Keefe as good as admits that heād force Sophie to spill if she didnāt tell him what happened with Mr. Forkle. His extortive ways need to stop being glorified and start being treated like the horrific manipulation it is.Ā
āāSoooooooo, what youāre saying is, you think Iām the king of bad decisions,ā Keefe said, laughing when Sophie fumbled for an apology. āRelaxāI know what you meant. Iām just giving you a hard time. And you have a point. Iām not necessarily great at doing what Iām supposed to do and giving people what they want. And Iām not usually sorry about it either.āā (352) Those goshdarned Os. Shannon. Please stop doing that. Itās so annoying. And why is Sophie trying to apologize? Itās clearly Shannonās way of making Keefe seem somewhat right. But the truth is, Keefe needs to have these hard truths shoved in his face. He needs someone to tell him unapologetically that he makes horrible decisions and he needs to reflect on that and change. And lastly. That third sentence. Keefe literally sounds . . . proud. Of the fact that heās never sorry. Heās never sorry about his horrible decisions and heās fine with that. His arrogance extends so much so that he knows heās made bad decisions and knows that he should apologize, but doesnāt. And then he brushes that off so casually, like Haha, I donāt apologize for my mistakes. Arenāt I so quirky? People who are genuinely trying to be better usually arenāt like that. Keefe's toxicity and refusal to change even when he knows he should is so frustrating. Like heās completely resistant to change and Shannon thinks thatās cool and badass. Itās not. Itās cringy and try-hard and most importantly, annoying.
āKeefe snatched Fitzās wrist. āI knew it!ā āKnew what?ā Fitz shouted, trying to wrench his arm away. Keefe tightened his grip. āShhhhh, let the Empath work.āā (367) Oh, boy. Keefe really is such a manipulative asshole. He grabs Fitzās hand to read his emotions because he wants to know why Fitz is offering to search his dadās memories. He really canāt respect his supposed best friendās privacy, can he? He canāt control himself; when he wants to know something he needs to have it right away. He breaches peopleās trust and boundaries. Fitz tries to āwrench his arm awayā, meaning that heās uncomfortable and clearly doesnāt want this. But Keefe instead tightens his grip and forcibly extricates what he wants out of Fitz, even having the audacity to say ālet the Empath workā. What an asshole. Honestly. Heās such a piece of shit. Heās a terrible person and the fact that Shannon is romanticizing this behavior is revolting.
āKeefe smirked. āI think the moral of this conversation is, females are cruel.āā (369) I know I said I was ready to forgive Keefeās sexist comments in the first and second books because they likely werenāt intentional in the way they came off (and are more of Shannonās problem than Keefeās really, but all of Keefeās problems are inevitably Shannonās, so) and theyād been removed from the graphic novel, so it was safe to say that Shannon didnāt want them there on second thought. But this book? It was released in 2019, seven years later. So yes, Iām counting this. And I said this once or twice already, but authors need to stop having male love interests be so casually sexist as a way of making them āāāāāācoolerāāāāāā. Especially in a world where sexism isnāt supposed to even exist, oh my goodness.Ā
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āBut she couldnāt leave without making sure Keefe was okay. He assured her he would beāand the third time he said it, he almost sounded convincing.ā (371) Thatās right. Sophie checks on Keefe not once, not twice, but three times to make sure heās okay. Because . . . his dadās going to have his memories searched by Fitz. Something that doesnāt even really involve him. But Sophie didnāt show even close to the same level of concern for Fitz, even though heās clearly going through something with Alvar and Keefe explicitly says heās feeling a mixture of embarrassment and anger. She doesnāt try to talk to him about it, doesnāt try to make sure heāll be okay. Nothing. But Keefe has to be pampered and pitied. Of course. It shows another clear prioritization in the narrative of Keefe.
Thereās not really a single quote I can pull to show this from Legacy (although there is actually a quote from Flashback page 48 that I have up there somewhere), but Sophie claims she understands all of Keefeās actions because heās doing it because of guilt with what happened with his mom. Every reckless decision heās made was in an attempt to cope with that, right? But now, Fitz is going through the same thing. And not for a single second does Sophie try to apply the same understanding to Fitz about what it must be like to feel guilt and shame over a traitorous family member. Instead, all that spare pity goes to Keefe. The double standards, honestly.
āāAnd donāt think Iām going to forget about the E.L. Fudges you owe me,āā (371) Itās a small thing, but Keefe never actually asks Sophie to get him the cookies. He just demands it from her, and now she apparently āowe[s]ā them to him.Ā
āāI mean, I feel like if thereās one thing Fitzy and I both excel at, itās making you angry.āā (542) You should never excel at making someone you care about angry. Thatās not a good thing. (Yes, this applies to Fitz as well, but at least he always apologizes and makes amends. Keefe, not so much.)
āāOkay, but just because you guys are smart enough to think of that doesnāt mean the Neverseen are,ā Keefe argued. āAnd even if youāre right, isnāt it worth it to double-check?āā (558) Is he really this stupid. Please tell me this isnāt real. Keefe. This is the Neverseen. Of course theyāre smart enough to think of that! Theyāre always a million steps ahead and for the last seven books, we know that underestimating them leads to terrible things. Keefeās stupidity is really just so. Ugh. And no. Itās not āworth itā to ādouble-checkā a place where they know the Neverseen frequently go. All Keefe ever wants to do is run straight into danger without a plan and all Sophie (and the narrative) ever does is let him without any consequences.Ā
āāYeah, well, then you proved my momās a murderer, so excuse me for freaking out a little,ā Keefe snapped, tearing a hand through his hair.ā (559) Freaking out would be understandable. And he is. But Keefe wants to go straight to London to a place where the Neverseen are known to go without a plan just because . . . he thinks it will trigger a memory. No guarantee, he just thinks it will. This guy is so stupid, and Iām so tired of the way everyone in the story (mostly Sophie) just bends to his will. Because itās Keefe.Ā
āāI donāt care about safe or smart right now,ā Keefe added quietly. āI care about finding the truth. Just let me walk those streets. Thatās all Iām asking.āā (559) No, āall [heās] askingā is to go to a place where they know the Neverseen go. He also literally admitted that he doesnāt care about safety or being smart. Why the heck does anyone take this guy seriously? He should be put in his place right now, not encouraged. But thatās what the narrative does. Instead of punishing him for his reckless behavior, the narrative instead glorifies it. Not to mention, heās not supposed to go anywhere the Neverseen could be right now. Because they think theyāre trying to kill him.Ā
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āMostly, though, sheād seen Keefe like this beforeādangling by such a very, very thin thread. There was too high of a risk that it would snap and heād run off without her.ā (560) And when Keefe needs something, everyone needs to bend over backwards to accommodate him. Heās such a spoiled brat and itās so tiring to watch the narrative justify his actions over and over again. He gets special treatment. As soon as he needs something, even if it goes against every single logical decision that could possibly be made, Sophie will make sure he gets it. Or at least Shannon will. He should not be encouraged, he should be punished for this.Ā
āāI know Iāve made huge mistakes in the past, but Iām trying to learn from themāand the last thing I ever want to do is let you down. Okay?āā (568) He says, while going on an excursion to a place where the Neverseen regularly go after blatantly admitting he doesnāt care about safety or being smart. He just wants to get his way. Thatās his problem. Heās so emotional, and not at all rational. He canāt see two steps in front of him because all he cares about is himself and what he thinks he can find, and heās willing to sideline smarter ideas because he still thinks heās smarter than everyone. So no, he has not learned a single thing. Itās laughable that he thinks he has. And we also get more pedestalization of Sophie, with him saying he never wants to let her down. What about letting Fitz, his best friend, down? What about the rest of their team? What about Mr. Forkle? What about Alden and Della, who he thought of as his own parents? Goodness.
ā[ . . . ] she was planning to use midnight as the āwe need to get home and face the consequences of our actionsā handy cutoff [ . . . ]ā (573) Itās worth it to say that Sophie doesnāt want to go to London. She never did. She only goes because Keefe goes, and she knows that he will do something dumb if she is not there to babysit him. She knows itās a bad choice, but she (rightfully) doesnāt trust Keefe, so she takes the responsibility to make sure they get home safe on herself because sheās knows Keefe will not prioritize that. The fact that she goes is again, another clear show of her lack of faith in Keefe, because all heās done is do reckless stupid things. To say Sophie trusts Keefe is blatantly false, because if she did, she would not have given into him so easily even though she herself thinks this is a bad idea and she would have trusted that he wouldnāt try to run off himself.
āāThanks for the warning, by the way,ā he told Tam. āAs you can see, it worked super well.āā (579) Keefe is just so. I donāt even have the words. Not only does he not listen to Tam after being warned about a possible attempt on his life, but he literally flaunts his disobedience and stubbornness in Tamās face. Heās so arrogant, he literally cares about one-upping Tam over the possible attempt on his life.Ā
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āāWe had her,ā Keefe said again. āAnd Tam wouldāve been free if heād just come with us.ā [ . . . ] Just like she stopped herself from reminding Keefe that when heād been with the Neverseen, thereād been a moment when heād chosen to help Alvar escape instead of fleeing with her and her friends. Theyād have that conversation later. Once Keefe had calmed down. And once sheād had more time to process what had happenedābecause even if Tam did have a good reason for what heād done, it could still end up being the kind of mistake theyād all pay the price for.ā (587) Except they never do āhave that conversation laterā. Shannon loves to drop the ball on important conversations that should take place between Sophie and Keefe in exchange for her forced consolation scenes. Then she says that even if Tamās ābetrayalā had a good reason, theyād still all pay the price. Which she never thinks about when Keefe did a similar thing in Lodestar. She never allows herself to think that Keefe may be in the wrong after Keefe escapes with Alvar and the crystal. Even though Keefe did that of his own free will and Tam was forced. Just. The double standards when it comes to anyone thatās not Keefe. Itās just another example of how the narrative favors Keefe.Ā
āāThis . . . is the nicest thing anyoneās ever done for meāby a lot.āā (598) Again, with the pity-partying. I donāt understand why Shannon insists on making Keefe wallow in all this self-pity. He takes any opportunity to remind Sophie of just how terrible his life is, even when itās not relevant, and then weāre supposed to believe he doesnāt want pity? Thatās laughable. Why would he keep saying these things if he didnāt want pity or sympathy? Thatās not how that works. Also, this statement is objectively untrue. Alden and Della cared for him as much as they could. All the adults offered their places when he didnāt know where to go. But, once again, Keefe only cares about what Sophie does for him. He takes everything else for granted. It makes him come off as whiny. I think offering your place to stay is a much better favor than getting someone cookies, but okay. Why must he be such a pity magnet?
āāI mean . . . the next time I see Bangs Boy, Iām going to kick him somewhere extra sensitive.āā (598) For what? For helping Gisela escape? Like Keefe did with Alvar when he was with the Neverseen? Oh, what a hypocrite. By that logic, someone should kick Keefe, since he did much worse things. Hereās a list: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (which probably wouldnāt have mattered, given the whole Lumenaria thing, but Keefe didnāt know that at the time), being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline, giving up the cache and bringing back fakes, and giving Sophie the tracker that led the Neverseen to her and Fitz. Whereās his punishment for all that? Why is everybody so ready to forgive him? Of course, Sophie doesnāt call Keefe out for any of that despite saying she would not even fifteen pages ago (the quote from two bullet points ago).Ā
āāIf you have other things to doāā Keefe tried to tell her. But Sophie shook her head, channeling Sandor when she told him, āI go where you go.āā (625) Sophie then sidelines her duties for Keefeās incredibly stupid mission to find two black bottles from literal years ago. When I say the narrative favors Keefe. This is what I mean. Sophie puts Keefe above her team. She cares more about his ill-fated search for the bottles than she does about her own job. Shannon. Stop acting like everything Sophie does when she blatantly puts Keefe above everything is justified.Ā
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āāUh-uh, Foster. Youāre not making me sit all this out.āā (643) Keefe is really so dumb that even now when he has all the information, he still wants to go running straight into danger. And I think this is a good time to talk about one other thing. You can count on two things when it comes to Keefe. One: Heāll always throw a pity party for himself and mope around and whine and cry and be all Itās all my fault, woe is me, and then immediately follow that up with a āI donāt want your pityā, as if that lessens his pity-partying, and two: Heāll always want to be in on the action because he thinks heās smarter than everyone else, although heās usually the stupidest person in the room. However, these two things are directly contradictory. If Keefe really thought everything was all his fault, he would volunteer to sit missions out. He would say that heās a liability and that heās trying to work on himself and that he wants to make sure he wonāt fuck anything else up, so heād want to sit out things like this to ensure he didnāt mess everything up. Thatās how I know he doesnāt actually care about anyone but himself and his wishes, and that heās just trying to make everyone feel bad for him when he brings up how everything is his fault. If he really did want to change and improve, heād do some self-reflection, realize heās always the problem, and tell everyone that heās going to not go into the field so he doesn't mess everything up like he always does. Yet, heās the opposite. He always wants to go straight into the action without a thought or plan. When he throws his pity-parties, he never explains to Sophie how heās going to stop himself from messing everything up again. He just says āIāll do better, Iām trying to be betterā, and then he just leaves it at that. If he truly felt that everything was his fault, he would not always think heās smarter than everyone and override everyoneās plans with his own. Bottom line is: Keefeās a massive hypocrite. Every single thing he does or says is in stark contrast to something else he says or does. And the narrative just lets him get away with it, every time. He is so frustrating.Ā
āāYou wonāt be missing out on anything, except watching me fail epically at being Team Valiantās leader and Fitzās girlfriend,ā āYouāre not failing at either of those things,ā Keefe assured her quietly.ā (644) Oh, she definitely is. And Keefe is a major part of that, too, because Sophie favors him over everyone, including Fitz and her team. But thatās not his fault, itās the narrativeās. What is his fault is telling Sophie that sheās not bad at these things. Good friends know when to call out their friends on their bad behavior. They donāt instead tell their friends to stick their head in the sand and ignore it. They donāt pedestalize their friends to such an extent that they are incapable of believing they could ever be in the wrong. This is an extreme example, but if your friend was an alcoholic, would you tell them that everythingās fine and that they arenāt failing miserably at life because theyāre drunk before ten in the morning everyday? No, because good friends know when to call their friends out. They donāt encourage it or sugarcoat it. If Keefe would stop pedestalizing Sophie, he would tell her that yes, this is all her fault, actually, and he would assure her that she can still fix her mistakes and might even give her pointers on how to do that. But Sophie is failing at these things. It does nobody any good to pretend sheās not. Navigating this miserable minefield of a forced consolation scene and getting to this quote actually made me put down the book and laugh. Because seriously. How is this real? How?
āAnd Sophie started to shake her head, but he reached up, gently grabbing her chin.ā (644) Another example of Keefe creepily touching Sophie without her permission. Itās not okay, even if theyāre close.
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āSophie closed her eyes, taking a second to remind herself that Fitz had every right to be upset. But for some reason that felt hard to believe at the moment.ā (675) Thereās no real quote that goes with what Iām about to say, so thisāll have to do. This has more to do with the way Keefe is written rather than the character himself. When Keefe has a reason to go batshit, Sophieās there with him, usually in an atrociously written forced consolation scene, comforting him and telling him itās not his fault. When sheās not, the narrative at least justifies his actions a considerable amount. Most other characters donāt get that same treatment. For example, Fitz. Fitz told Sophie and Keefe both (well, actually, it was forced out of him by Keefe, but details, am I right?) that he was searching for Alvar. Itās that same mix of guilt and frustration and anger and embarrassment (the last two are canonically confirmed, page 367, I have the quote up there somewhere) that causes him to embark on this quest. Sound familiar? Thatās exactly what Keefe feels with regards to his mom, and his feelings manifest as reckless decisions. They make him stupid. They make him overly emotional. They make him dangerous. And most notably, they make everyone fall over themselves trying to feel sorry for him. Of course, Keefe does deserve some sympathy, but the amount that the narrative showers on him is completely over-the-top. Where is that treatment for Fitz? He embarks on a mission to find Alvar to relieve himself of those same feelings, which isnāt viewed with nearly as much sympathy as Keefeās reckless decisions to do the same with his mother are viewed with. Then when Keefe and Sophie take over his project and completely screw him over, then literally let Alvar go which is exactly what Fitz has been trying to avoid which they are fully aware of without even getting Fitzās permission, the narrative makes Fitz out to be the bad person. Heās just trying to do the same thing Keefe is, in a less reckless, dangerous, stupid, and emotional manner, may I add, and heās instantly villainized for it. How much do you want to bet that if this exact thing had happened except it was with Gisela and Keefe, the narrative would have tripped over itself to justify Keefeās (rightful) anger? Oh wait . . . it already did. With Tam in London. I almost lost sight of that moment among the mashpot of similar moments that are all designed to heap as much sympathy as possible onto Keefe. Thatās what Iām saying. Most people donāt care as much about Fitzās feelings as they do Keefeās, not because his feelings arenāt valid, but because the narrative drains any excess sympathy you might feel for him and dumps it all onto Keefe. Itās nothing but biased writing.Ā
āāI mean, how hard is it to shape a threat into a clever couplet or two?āā (694) Shannon needs to stop making the same joke about rhyming notes. Also, Keefe once again demonstrates a lack of seriousness during a crisis.
ā[ . . . ] āyou donāt have to worry. Iām not going to let my mom hurt anyone.āā (694) As if he can control who his mom hurts. You would think he wouldāve learned that by now, but itās Keefe. I am not even close to being surprised. Also, another example of a forced consolation scene with no point! Yay!
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āāDid I not mention?ā Keefe called from somewhere in the shadows. āI brought friends.āā (729) Exactly. So he didnāt have to come. He claims he came to help out with an exit strategy using Linhās dwarven bodyguards, right? So really only Linh was necessary here. Keefe didnāt have to come at all. His excuse was pathetic. He really canāt stay out of the crewās way, even when everyone, including Keefe himself, agrees that itās the best plan. But he canāt help but hijack their shared plan for his own. Sound familiar? Thatās right, itās what he did in Nightfall and so many other books and claimed to be learning from. But this right here is proof that he didnāt learn anything. The crewās entire plan hinged on the fact that Keefe wasnāt going to be in Loamnore. That was the whole point. So by coming, Keefe didnāt just trip up a few small details, he literally ruined their entire plan. He didnāt have to come, he came because he wanted to. Because, once again, he really thinks heās smarter than everyone. His arrogance never fails to astound me.Ā
āAnd she wondered how much it had cost Tam to give her that warning about Keefe. How desperate heād been to avoid the exact situation they were now in.ā (740) And Keefe knew that. He knew exactly what it would mean for him to come to Loamnore after explicitly and clearly being told not to. Heās literally that ungrateful of all the warning attempts, all the ways Tam risked his life to deliver them, and completely takes Tam for granted. Heās a horrible excuse for a person, honestly.Ā
āāI know,ā Keefe told him. āAnd I tried to listen.āā (744) What does that even mean??? Excuses, excuses, excuses. He couldāve listened if his head wasnāt so far up his own ass. Once again, the āreasonā that Keefe came to Loamnore was because he realized they didnāt have an exit strategy, right? But the exit strategy didnāt need him. It needed Linhās bodyguards. He was completely and utterly unnecessary.
āKeefe slept through the next dayāand Sophie chose to stay in the Healing Center with him.ā (774) Which she never does for anybody else. Not Fitz in Neverseen, not Biana in Nightfall. As a matter of fact, she never even checks in with Biana on-page to see how sheās doing after the Nightfall incident. More examples of Sophie and the narrative favoring Keefe to such an extent itās ridiculous. And of course, Sophie will neglect several things and people because of this. And itās even worse because Keefe brought this all upon himself, while Biana and Fitz didnāt.
āVictory? Didnāt they care about what happened to Keefe?ā (776) The narrative is so caught up in what happened to Keefe that itās completely biased. What happened in Loamnore was a victory. Everyone survived and Enki was made to pay for what he did. That is literally a victory. But as soon as something bad happens to Keefe, thatās enough to make it so that itās not??? Itās another example of biased writing.Ā
āHe hadnāt woken up the next day eitherāthe third dayāeven after Sophie decided to transmit the plea over and over.ā (778) Sophie literally stays in the Healing Center for three days to look after Keefe, whoās not even awake for her to talk to or cheer up or anything. So sheās effectively wasting time, but of course the narrative doesnāt see it that way. How else will Keefe get his special treatment? How else will Sophie neglecting everyone for Keefe be justified? Itās honestly such an insult to both Sophie and Keefe as characters. Keefe is favored far too much by the story and itās very obvious that Sophie would do several things for him that she wouldnāt for anyone else (and vice versa), like stay in the Healing Center with him while heās unconscious for three days just wasting time.Ā
Unlocked Part One (Sorry, I only finished everything up until the novella. Part Two coming soon, I guess?):
First of all, I have to say that Keefeās editing of his file is just ridiculously immature, even for a sixteen(?)-year-old. Itās very obvious that Shannon did this because people like Keefe so much and because sheās trying to make Keefe seem ācoolerā and more of a bad boy. Personally, I find the attempt hilariously pathetic, but it probably landed with most people, so. And his edits are so boring and unwitty, too. Typical Keefe.
āSPYBALL APPROVAL: None [BUT I HAVE FRIENDS WITH CONNECTIONS, THATāS ALL IāM SAYING. . . .]ā (92) Why would you. Say that. In an official file. And purposefully cast suspicion on people around you. Why.
āSIGNIFICANT CONNECTIONS: [ . . . ] [SWORN PROTECTOR OF THE MYSTERIOUS MISS F]ā (93) I would say this is probably a joke, but given Keefeās attitude throughout the series, Itās very clear that itās not. Why would you embarrass yourself like that in an official government file???
ā[[ . . . ] SHE THINKS SHEāS WAY SMARTER THAN SHE IS. [ . . . ]]ā (93) Oh, I think sheās pretty smart. Giselaās shown time and time again that sheās capable of outwitting and manipulating people into doing what she wants. Meanwhile, hereās Keefe, a stupid teenager, who, by the way, as of this point hasnāt gotten the better of her even once. So Iām not really sure how much we should be believing this guy.
ā[[ . . . ] āHE KNOWS FOSTER BETTER THAN YOU DO! BETTER THAN SHE EVEN KNOWS HERSELFā?]ā (94) I- I donāt even have the words. This is the cringiest thing Iāve read today. Possibly the cringiest thing Iāve read this year. Why is he saying this weird shit in an official government file??? Is Shannon really that desperate to show us that Keefe has a crush on Sophie??? Also, nobody knows anyone better than they know themself. To say that is to write off someoneās feelings. Sophie will always know Sophie better than Keefe knows Sophie. Thatās just how it is. Also, this section is about his empathy, nothing to do with Sophie. But see how his mind jumps right to her and immediately connects her to it? That's a textbook sign of obsession and pedestalization. Sophie has nothing to do with his strong empathy. But he brings her up anyway. Thatās not a good thing.Ā
ā[THOUGH . . . KEEPING IT REAL? THE FOSTER OBLIVION CAN BE KINDA NOT COOL SOMETIMES.]ā (94) Why the hell would you say that in an official government file??? Also, the fact that he thinks the āFoster Oblivionā is not cool . . . like thatās literally none of his business??? God, I wish people would stop harping on Sophie for being oblivious. Itās literally none of their business and also not a bad thing. Sophie can decide what she wants or doesnāt want to believe.
ā[BUT THE REST OF THE STUFF IN THIS SECTION IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GETTING REDACTED. SERIOUSLYāBOUNDARIES, PEOPLE! FOSTERāS AMAZINGāAND OBVIOUSLY WORKING WITH ME MAKES HER EVEN MORE AMAZING. . . . ]ā (97) First of all, counting out all those Os was hell (there are twenty-two). Shannon really needs to stop doing that. Thatās what italics are for. Second of all, āboundariesā? Oh, wow. This is so funny, considering all the times Keefe violates Sophieās boundaries all the time. So not only does he encroach on her space, now heās a hypocrite. He (rightfully) thinks itās weird that the Council have an entire section speculating on their relationship, but then in a previous section he says that the Foster Oblivion can be ākinda not cool sometimesā? What?
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ā[[ . . . ] FOSTER GETS TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS, OKAY? SHE CAN LIKE WHOEVER SHE WANTS OR BE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT SHEāS FEELING. SHE CAN EVEN BE OBLIVIOUSāITāS HER LIFE. HER CHOICE. AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT.] [EVEN ME.] [ESPECIALLY ME. I WOULD NEVER WANT TO . . . ] [NEVER MIND. MY POINT IS, LET THE POOR GIRL FIGURE THIS OUT ON HER OWN. [ . . . ]]ā (98) If youāve seen withcindy on YouTube, you probably know about the whole āItās your choiceā thing and how Rhysand invented feminism. If you don't, I highly recommend watching her ACOTAR videos. Theyāre hilarious. Anyway, thatās what immediately came to mind when I read this scene. Aw, how noble Keefe is. I really wish Shannon would stop beating the audience over the head about how good and sweet and pure and selfless and kind and amazing and spectacular and perfect and angelic and endearing Keefe is. Like Shannon, show not tell. Every time Shannon wants us to see how perfect Keefe is, she just makes him spit out some bullshit that nobody would realistically say. Then he just turns around and continues with his shitty actions, and Shannon thinks that makes him the perfect guy. No, it does not. Heās honestly giving fake-woke vibes with this word vomit. You know, the kind of people that say all the right things but never put it into action? Thatās Keefe. He claims everyone needs to stay out of her life because itās her choice, but then he goes around reading her emotions without her permission and extorting information out of her that she isnāt comfortable sharing. What a hypocrite. Honestly, Sophie should be running. He then says to let Sophie figure it all out herself and even he shouldnāt interfere, which directly contradicts all the times he himself interfered and made jokes about Sophieās romantic life for his own amusement. More hypocrisy! Love this guy.
ā[[ . . . ] I DIDNāT FIGURE IT OUT FAST ENOUGH, AND SHE USED ME FOR A WHILE. BUT THATāS ALL DONE NOW, AND ITāS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I TAKE HER DOWN. LETāS MOVE ON, SHALL WE?]ā (98) Here, we have a serious contradiction. Weāre constantly told Keefe feels overwhelming guilt at his motherās betrayal (for what reason, I canāt fathom, but whatever) and that he thinks he messes everything up. But at the same time, heās also easily able to brush right past it and claim that at some point he will for sure ātake her downā (because his arrogance is the only thing that can trump his guilt).Ā
ā[[ . . . ] I REALLY DONāT NEED ANYONE REMINDING FOSTER HOW MAD SHE WAS AT ME. [ . . . ]]ā (100) Another example of the section having nothing to do with Sophie (itās about him becoming a Mercadir), yet Keefe still somehow managing to drag the topic of Sophieās anger at him into it. Sheās on his mind all the time. I cannot emphasize enough how strange it is to think this is a good thing. Itās not romantic, itās obsessive and borderline creepy. Also, Sophie is not going to read this file. Calm down, Keefe.
ā[WHY IS THERE NOT A SECTION ON MY AMAZING HAIR????]ā (100) Have some more old-school, cringy Keefe āhumorā. Ah, itās just like the good old days when he would talk about his hair almost non-stop.
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āBut I was only half listening because she gets this cute little crinkle between her eyebrows when sheās trying to be serious, and it makes me want to reach up and smooth her forehead with my fingertipāand Iām betting sheād think I was super weird if I did that, since itās not like sheās my . . . ā (481) Yes, this is an actual thing Shannon wrote that got past the editors without anyone dying of cringe. First of all, I hate the way Keefe talks about Sophie. Sheās just this soft, kind of ditzy, child-like sort of figure in his head. He admits that he doesnāt care what she has to say, he just cares about how adorable she looks while she says it. This is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship. You should care about what your partner/crush says, because that shows that you see them as a person, not as your personal cover model. Also ātrying to be seriousā paints Sophie as this impudent little child whoās trying to get the attention of the older, more experienced adults and it very much implies that Sophie is not serious, but awwww, look how cute she looks trying to be serious, isnāt it adorable? Except Keefe and Sophie are the same age. So this is another case of textbook infantilization. I hate how this is made out to be normal and healthy in this series, it makes me so angry. And that last part isnāt anything specifically bad but it reads very oddly and is not at all the way real people think. What the heck.
āPretty sure Iām just stalling, because this feels kiiiiiiiiiiiinda pointless.ā (481) Not a Keefe-specific thing, but Shannon needs to stop stretching out her words like that. Especially since heās literally writing this. Who writes like that??? Just underline it please, Shannon.
Thereās a whole paragraph here on page 482 (if I had a digital copy I would copy-paste it here just to show you how cringy and long it is, but sadly, I donāt) which is clearly Shannon just trying to make Keefe look smart while also rubbing his daddy issues in our faces so we can drown in our pity for him. Itās not funny, which I assume it was meant to be. It comes off really, really cringy.
āIām sure Iāll be digging into my mess of mommy issues soon enough. For now, letās get back to the day Daddy Dearest met the Mysterious Miss F, shall we?ā (484) Correct me if Iām wrong, but the point is this whole draw-memories-and-write-about-them thing is to try to find stuff Keefeās mom might have erased from his head, right? So why is he completely sidestepping that very valid quest for a deep-dive into his daddy issues? This is not an issue I have with Keefe the person, but rather the way heās written. Shannon sidesteps what makes logical sense for the story in order to fluff up the story with more Keefe content. In other words, the storyās coherence and logic is sacrificed for more Keefe page time where it doesnāt make sense. And Iām sick of it. Itās ridiculous, and nothing short of shameless fanservice.
āOnce they do, they either feel awkward, or weird, or they start pitying me for having such a horrible family.ā (485) Maybe if you wouldnāt talk about it all the time and rub it in peopleās faces all the time, people would pity you less, hm? (And I am not saying Keefe shouldnāt talk about it, by the way. I'm just saying talking about it so much is not indicative of a person who wants to repress this or doesnāt want people to pity them. If Keefe truly didnāt want anyoneās pity, he wouldnāt keep bringing up his family all the time when itās not necessary. But he does. Itās really contradictory. Pick a lane, Shannon.) Itās very clear Shannon only has Keefe constantly talk about how much he hates everyoneās pity because she needs to hide the fact that half the time, heās the one committing that particular act.Ā
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āThankfully, Foster didn't do that. She just felt sadāand a little bit indignant. And if I hadn't already known I liked her, I wouldāveāā (486) First of all, what? Sophie has pitied Keefe for his horrible family several times over the course of the story. Itās constantly shoved in our face as every single other character takes a backseat in the story because poor, precious Keefe needs his pity from the audience, remember? So heās not even right. Also, how is feeling sad for someone significantly different than pitying them? In both cases, you understand what the other personās going through and wish it werenāt that way. You feel sorrow at the other personās suffering. Pity is bad, but feeling sad for someone is good? What? Shannonās really out here in the trenches trying to make Sokeefe sail off of weird, irrelevantly tiny details and minute differences like this. Keefe literally says that if he hadnāt already liked her, he wouldāve started liking her . . . because of that completely insignificant difference. What. What, what, what. The entire point of this horrifically put-together explanation of the memory is to push Sokeefe. Please, can we please involve Keefe in something that isnāt designed to push Sokeefe? That last sentence . . . nobody talks like that. Certainly nobody writes like that. I think itās supposed to be cutesy, like awwwww, look at poor Keefe with his adorable crush on Sophie, heās so down bad, but it comes off so weird.
ā[ . . . ] I guess that mightāve also had something to do with the bumps and scrapes and broken ribs I got when Mommy Dearest and her Neverseen buddies showed up and tried to steal Silveny. [ . . . ] But thatās not what this memory was about.ā (486-487) Once again, we are veering in the exact opposite direction of what the point of this all is. Why do we care about Sophie and Keefe on an alicorn? What exactly does that have to do with Keefe searching for memories his mom mightāve taken from him? Nothing. Itās just another example of Keefe and Sokeefe being pushed above all sense and logic. Itās ruining the cohesiveness of the story. Why do we care? What is the point?Ā
āAll I did was make a bunch of jokes to distract herāand it was super fun feeling her get all annoyed and embarrassed. I mean, look at that adorable blush! I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color.ā (488) Keefeās thoughts about Sophie are truly heinous. He enjoys annoying her and embarrassing her, even back then, when he didnāt really know her that well? Wow, sign me up! I love it when guys annoy and embarrass me. Makes me feel really great. Definitely makes them well-rounded and grounded in reality. I suppose the comment on Sophieās blush isnāt infantilization in this case, but the way Shannon tries so hard to push Sokeefe at every moment possible is really grating on me. And that last sentence. Who talks like that??? āI could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the colorā what the heck. Why does he talk so stilted like that??? Who. Talks. Like. This.
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āIn fact . . . if Iām keeping it real . . . Iām pretty sure that blush is the reason I drew this memory. [ . . . ] That was the first time it felt like . . . maybe I had a tiny shot at making this brave, beautiful, blushing girl like me. [ . . . ] But thereās a teeny, tiny chance. And thatās enough. For now.ā (489) This all feels so incredibly forced, like Shannon wants so desperately to show you why Sophie and Keefe would be so good together before she actually puts them together. Itās such an insecure way of writing. You shouldnāt have to spoonfeed your reader with weird rambles to show why a pair clicks. The readers should be able to see that themselves through the genuine, candid interactions you write. Through their dynamic. Through their relationship. But Sophie and Keefeās relationship is chock full of boundary breaching, constant annoyance and embarrassment, and a lack of trust. So spoonfeeding it is! Also the way Keefe thinks about Sophie is just so. Ew. To me. Like itās so over-the-top for no reason. Nobody thinks like this, even about their crush, even about their long-term crush, even about their long-term crush who they really, really, really like. I cannot believe this got past the editors, I am dying of cringe here. Also, I really wish Keefe would stop tacking āfor nowā at the end every time he talks about who Sophie will pick, because it really undercuts his supposed support for her choices. What, sometime in the future, heāll feel like a chance isnāt enough? Thatās what that āfor nowā is giving.
Keefe: I donāt want your pity. Also Keefe: āItās super, super fun to be me, isnāt it?ā (491) (Yes, I am aware that he said this in a private journal. But he says plenty of stuff like this out loud, too. So yeah, he really is just an overhyped pity magnet.)
āAny trust I was supposed to earn from handing over Kenricās cache vanished the second Sophie did. And I knew the Neverseen were never going to trust me.ā (494) He knew that from the start? And didnāt just leave after that? He knew his plan was hopeless and still went along with it. I know Iām beating a dead horse but somehow this makes his plan even stupider than it already was, which is pretty stupid. He literally knew his plan was bullshit. And he still did it. Because he wanted to āsave[] the day and fix[] everythingā (493). What the heck. Keefe is just. I donāt know how this is a real character. He is just so infuriatingly stupid, Iām actually speechless.
āAnd Iām pretty lucky no one got seriously hurt, and that Foster forgave me. I wasn't sure if she would.ā (494) She really shouldnāt have, not without some serious work on Keefeās part to gain her trust back. And what has he done since then? Oh, right, heās hijacked their shared plans, refused good medical advice until he was forced to, extorted her feelings out of her, spilled personal secrets, and not agreed to stay away from the Neverseen when they thought they were specifically gunning for him. Where has he ever done anything to show even the slightest bit of development? Heās basically the same Keefe. No growth, no change. It really is a miracle that Sophie forgave him. Oh, wait, no itās not. Because Shannonās writing the series, and she needs Sokeefe to happen. Right. I forgot.
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āSometimes I still worry that some tiny part of her holds it against me. That sheāll never fully trust me. That sheāll always see me as the guy who betrayed her and stole from her and ran off with the enemy.ā (494) This would be really cool to explore if it was actually done. Sophie holding this against Keefe and struggling with that in the aftermath of Lodestar would be an awesome way to develop their relationship and have them overcome that hurdle and give them both some much needed development. But we know that aside from a single line at the beginning of Nightfall, Sophie never really blames Keefe. She just immediately forgives him for his time with the Neverseen. Itās pathetic writing. Something like that should have consequences. But it doesnāt, because then our poor Keefe will have to be *gasp* villainized. There could be this whole arc about how Sophie doesnāt trust Keefe the same and it impacts their relationship subtly and both of them feel it but donāt want to talk about it and itās this giant, gaping hole. Then finally thereās a climax where Keefe confronts her about it and maybe she yells at him and he agrees that heāll do anything to get her trust back. Then he does it. He does the smart thing, takes the smart advice. And he learns. He understands what he did was wrong and is truly a different person now. Honestly, the fact that Shannon explained this out shows me that sheās aware the possibility of this arc exists, but unfortunately, didnāt actually put it into action. Would it have been the most original conflict ever? No. But it wouldāve been much better than whatever this dumpster fire of a lack of an arc she actually wrote is. I think I mightāve genuinely enjoyed Sophie and Keefe as a couple if sheād just made them have some distrust that they overcome through genuine work and growth.
āI make myself remember that expression every time I have to be around Fitzphie. It stops me from screaming, DONāT PICK HIMāPICK ME. [ . . . ] I did that. Not sure I deserve to be forgiven.ā (494-495) One thing I really donāt get is why we need this commentary. Half the actual novella is written from Keefeās perspective. Iām sure Shannon couldāve snuck in something to this effect into his actual inner monologue. Instead, we get this incredibly unsubtle, beating-over-the-head of a pity party. The implication here is that Keefe feels if he hadnāt made so many mistakes, he wouldāve been a better partner for Sophie than Fitz, which is not his right to decide. Even if Keefe was a perfect angel whoād never made any mistake ever in his life, Sophie still has the right to choose who she wants to be with. Being a perfect person doesnāt automatically make you entitled to a romantic relationship. So the fact that Keefe thinks this is just so icky and gross. Seriously, the only thing stopping him from being unsupportive of Sophie and Fitzās relationship (who are his friends, may I add) is the reminder of his own mistake? So if he hadnāt made that mistake he would shamelessly think he was a better choice for Sophie? This is borderline ānice guyā behavior. Then at the end he throws himself a pity-party as a little cherry on top, but of course he doesnāt actually think that, because if he was truly worried about whether he should be forgiven or not he would try to be better. Listen more. Deflate his head a little. Stop thinking heās the smartest one in the room all the time. But he doesnāt, because he doesnāt care. He is a walking contradiction, the definition of a hypocrite. He annoys the shit out of me.
Also this memory contributed nothing to finding his erased memories and was instead just another vehicle to beat us over the head with Sokeefe content, which makes the Everblaze memory the only one that has actual significance to the task at hand so far.
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āI almost lost her. And if I had, it wouldāve been all my fault. All of this is my . . . ā (497) Keefe go one page without throwing yourself a pity-party challenge (impossible). Seriously, instead of blaming himself for things that are his fault and that he can learn and grow from, he blames himself for this??? I donāt know how Shannon is even coming up with this stuff. But how are we going to get our pity-parties, no matter how little they make sense, if she doesnāt pull drama out of her ass? Also, once again, this memory has nothing to do with Lady Gisela or Keefeās erased memories or anything to do with his condition at all.
āThatās been my plan for a long timeāand not because I donāt think she can take care of herself. Because she shouldnāt have to. Sheās dealing with enough pressure and responsibility and people trying to kill her. If thereās anything I can do to make things easier for her, Iāll do it. No matter what.ā (499) I really wish Shannon would stop beating us over the head with all the reasons Sophie and Keefe are perfect for each other. Stop spoonfeeding us, Shannon. If they really do go together well, weād be able to see it from their bond with each other. We donāt need to have all the reasons they should be together listed out in front of us like weāre reading a textbook. Shannon makes Keefe say all the perfect relationship green flags, as if any normal person talks, writes, or even thinks like this. This is an amazing example of Shannonās tendency to tell, not show. Now that weāve covered the tell, letās talk about the show. Keefe feels the need to take care of Sophie because āshe shouldnāt have toā. Okay, but that goes beyond just her physical health. What about all the times sheās wondered what stupid shit heās going to do next and worried about him? What about her constant need to babysit him so he doesnāt do something dumb? What about the fact that sheās started giving into his plans because she knows she canāt stop him (when they go to London, for example)? Does he care about her enough to think about how his decisions might affect her? Is he even really taking care of her in any effective way? Oh, and this next part actually made me laugh out loud. Sophieās dealing with so much pressure and responsibility, what if I made that worse by constantly doing stupid things and making her not trust that Iāll listen to good advice? What if I made that worse by making her constantly worry about me because she canāt trust that Iāll do the smart thing? āNo matter whatā, my ass. If Sophie asks him to sit something out, he doesnāt. If Sophie asks him to obey good medical advice, he wonāt. If Sophie comes up with a plan with the group, he ruins it. Heās clearly not willing to do even the most basic things for her. Again, telling us this doesnāt make it true, Shannon. If you look at Keefeās actions throughout the story, they tell a very different story. When has Keefe ever done anything to make Sophieās life easier?
Also, this is another memory that doesnāt add anything to Keefe trying to trigger his lost memories. Just more Sokeefe propaganda. Yes, Iām calling it propaganda, because as Iāve hopefully made painfully clear, often the things weāre being told in this commentary thing donāt align with Keefeās actions throughout the story.
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āOr the fact that I was only there because Alden basically asked me to join Team Fitzphie. (Yeah, I know. I wanted to say no. But I said yes for her. She deserves to decide what she wantsāeven if itās not me.)ā (500) Even if itās not you? How generous of you to make that clear, Keefe. Sure, Keefeās above the bar, but the barās in hell, so I donāt really know how much that means. Also, he only came because of Sophie? Sophie? The trial wasnāt even personal for her. It was personal for Fitz, his supposed best friend, and Biana, who he apparently thinks of as a sister. And he came for Sophie? Keefeās gargantuan tendency to pedestalize Sophie and revolve every single one of his decisions around her strikes yet again. He wanted to say no, and the thought of Sophie changed his mind. Sophie. Not Fitz and Biana, for whom this would certainly be a strenuous occasion. Sophie. Goodness.Ā
āPretty sure thatās what my mom is counting on. . . . And before I go any farther down that depressing thought-path, letās move on.ā (501) Isnāt that the point, though? To think about his mom and try to see if that triggers anything important? He really should go down that path. Why does Shannon keep sidestepping the actually valuable point of this exercise in favor of . . . whatever the heck it is that Iām reading???
āPretty sure that proves this project is a waste of time. It hasnāt triggered any new memories. I havenāt learned anything new about stellarlune, or those humans my mom killed, or the letter I delivered, or anything else. Seems like a pretty epic fail. But what else is new?ā (502-503) No??? Keefe cannot be this dumb. I refuse to believe it. Maybe the reason the project failed was because . . . none of the memories you chose were of your mom or anything to do with her projects, with the exception of the third and last one, and in those cases the connections to the behind-the-scenes of his momās projects were so vague that itās hard to get anything solid. We know for a fact that Keefe drew the human guy holding the letter. Why didnāt Keefe try to write about that? That actually has a connection to his momās project. Same things with the shattered memory they discovered. The memory he remembered about his mom using a starstone to leap to Nightfall. The memory of his mom talking to Brant and Alvar. Anything actually connected to what heās trying to find. No shit you arenāt going to remember stuff about stellarlune if you draw and write about riding an alicorn with your crush. Are we being for real right now??? And yeah, Shannon couldāve done any of the things I just described. This Keefe-draws-his-memories-and-comments-on-them concept is actually a great idea, Shannon just used it in the worst way possible: to push Sokeefe instead of actually using it for its intended purpose. Imagine how cool it couldāve been if we got a drawing and commentary on the letter or the starstone, or even anything Keefe may have seen during his time with the Neverseen. This is such a waste of potential it pains me. I really wish Shannon would stop sacrificing logic for the love triangle. Itās ruining the story.
Congratulations, you made it to the end. That must've taken you at least a few hours. Go drink some water. I'm going to make a Part Two after Unraveled's release, so. That's a thing.
#kotlc#anti keefe sencen#anti sokeefe#kotlc discourse#that was exhausting lmfao yeah you definitely shouldn't read this all in one sitting you will fry your brain#cannot believe i'm finally going to post six months' worth of work#again the point of this is not to change anyone's mind about keefe or sokeefe#the point is to try to explain my personal gripes with the way he's written#not out to attack anyone i genuinely do not care if you personally like keefe or sokeefe or not#mine
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a few points
Sophie, even being the protagonist and hero of the story, has made and will continue to make mistakes.
We are inside Sophie's head all of the time, so we are always seeing her actions through the framework of her own justification.
SO, if you want to be able to analyze the characters' actions at even the most basic level, you have to first learn to step out of Sophie's head. Not even just to analyze her actions, though that's key, but to even analyze the other characters' actions at the most basic level of objectivity.
also
Most fans giving opinions on the characters' actions haven't bothered to step out of Sophie's head at all, instead just adding their own views on top of Sophie's.
That (plus sexism) is part of how you get rancid takes like "this character deserves Sophie," as though Sophie isn't her own character -- because people view Sophie as flawless.
She's the narrator, of course she's going to appear more flawless than the other characters. She's telling the story! And no one is a reliable narrator of their own story.
Please start thinking about these things before you give an opinion on a character's actions. I am so tired. If you can learn to do this, it will help you in media analysis for the rest of your life. thank you
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seeing jonathan bailey in wicked made me remember how absolutely incredible he is in the second season of bridgerton and just how good that season is in the first place. so anyways iām back in a bit of a bridgerton swing and i was just thinking about how itās so funny that the bridgertons are one of the most prestigious families of the ton and yet literally every single sibling has a major scandal with their partner. (this is going off both the books and the show)
daphne and simon get caught in the garden, simon and anthony duel, and daphne and simon are forced to marry (this is literally the tamest scandal by far)
anthony nearly marries kateās sister but he literally makes googoo eyes at kate during the fucking wedding so edwina catches them and ends her wedding that THE QUEEN LITERALLY SET UP
benedict falls in love a maid, sophie, at his house (itās a little more complicated than that, but this is the short version), sophie gets fucking ARRESTED for stealing from her stepmom, benedict marries her anyways. also sophie is an illegitimate daughter. and the scandal of benedict marrying ābelow his statusā forces them to move out to the country to get away from the ton
COLIN MARRIES LADY WISTLEDOWN
eloise runs away from home to go decide if she wants to marry her pen pal. her brothers find her and basically force them to get married so it doesnāt create a scandal. (said pen pal is literally MARINAāS WIDOWED HUSBAND, so this is going to be even messier in the show if they donāt change it because then sheās going to marry the husband of colinās ex and penelopeās cousin which isā¦ interesting)
francesca starts out normal, but then she marries the cousin of her dead husband, who theyāre making a woman in the show, which means sheās gonna be GAY which is gonna make an even bigger scandal
hyacinth is basically a scandal just in and of herself because basically all the men of the ton are scared of her. but then she helps lady danburyās GRANDSON break into his dadās house to search for hidden diamonds (said dad is also not actually his dad (he mom cheated with his uncle) and also hates him and wants to ruin him). (this is my favorite book by far.)
you think it canāt get any messier and then gregory goes and becomes the most unhinged bridgerton to date. he falls in love with this girl, lucy, except sheās already betrothed to someone and he literally RUNS IN AND INTERRUPTS LUCYāS WEDDING and asks her to marry him instead and she fucking says NO. but then itās revealed that sheās being blackmailed and they end up together. also at one point he ties her up in a closet so she doesnāt try and sabotage herself.
anyways, poor violet bridgerton. she seriously never gets a break from her children
#if they donāt give us all 8 seasons i will revolt#bridgerton#daphne bridgerton#simon basset#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#benedict bridgerton#sophie baek#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#eloise bridgerton#philip crane#francesca bridgerton#michaela stirling#hyacinth bridgerton#gareth st clair#gregory bridgerton#lucy abernathy
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characters as adults
i sometimes throw up in my mouth thinking about my old art style im so much happier and expressive except i havent figured out how to add color lmaooooo
im thinking these are everyone in their early 30s
i think sophie would become a keeper... bc its literally in the series title... maybe emissary too? anyway i dont think shed be the happiest in her position but i think when she grows up she'll start to resemble oralie a lot. maybe some people will put two and two together but this might be eons after oralie resigns from the council and it becomes a little irrelevant at that point
sophie WILL go bald at a certain point when she has the biggest existential crisis
i dont know how to draw dex in general because i just dont have a clear image of who he is this late into the series... bc its been such a long time since book 9 and i havent preordered 9.5 yet
i think he might actually be the most successful out of everyone bc everyone seems to agree that he's a very talented technopath and he worked with the council when he was only a level three??? even if it was making sophie's circlet???? very impressive accepted into harvard 10/10
i love drawing biana shes just ugh. very gorgeous. cant tell if she'll live a celebrity life in the elven world or shed just mysteriously disappear for the longest time and have everyone speculate on what happened to the youngest vacker and she just comes back with like a billion luster book deal to write an autobiography of what she was up to and its basically her freaking out over the ugliest fashion trends ("i leave for three centuries and you guys make THIS a trending item of clothing????") bc biana will always stay biana
linh will cut her hair along with the silver tips. still do not know how the silver tip works. i love drawing her moles, i feel she just has to have a lot of them around her face. she volunteers for animal rehabilitation. she gives free seminars for young hydrokinetics to teach them how to control their abilities. what a woman
im the iffiest with his rendition but he probably grew out the silver tips with his sister and he toggles between keeping his bangs out of his face and keeping it down
weirdly, i think hed be a teacher of some sorts. maybe tutor for 5-10 year olds? i feel like hed be good with small kids
they get their ears pierced together. keefe's a little sadder as an adult. he also grew out his hair
fitz hasn't changed his style much
not sure why keefe is sad. i feel like the older he got in the series, the more sadder he got. it makes sense-- id be sad too. later on, he'll be happy again but i think seeing how long an elven lifespan is theyre probably still considered babies. he has time to figure it out
it'd be really nice if fitz became an author or journalist. i think alden should quit his job as emissary and write an autobiography. i think all the vackers should start journaling and not join evil organizations as a mode of therapy.
#kotlc#kotlc fanart#biana vacker#fitz vacker#linh song#sophie foster#tam song#dex dizznee#kotlc sophie#kotlc tam#kotlc dex#kotlc linh#kotlc fitz#kotlc biana#keefe sencen#kotlc keefe#kotlc thoughts#kotlc fandom
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An Incredibly Biased Primer to the Minnesota Frost Roster
First of all, you should know that I am by no means a hockey expert. I was never one for playing sports, and most of my hockey knowledge comes from watching MN Wild games back in the days before I got too busy with school and never got back to it. So take what I say with a grain of salt. I like who I like and I don't have any real knowledge of the NCAA nor the lore of women's hockey history. But I love hearing from all the wonderful hockey players, and NCAA fans, and general WoHo historians, and everyone else on here who are so much more knowledgeable than I. (as well as just the other fans like myself).
In any case here is my very biased guide to some of the big names (imho) on the Frost's roster to give any new fans a place to start. Especially because our team is all about the drama and we deserve nice things for daring to ride the chaos coaster.
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Unlike every other hockey player list in the world, I'm not going to start with the Forwards.
Defenders are my favorite and so I'm gonna start with them!
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Defenders
And because this is my list, I'm also gonna start with my favorite player and first in the number order:
Lee Stecklein!
Stecklein is a 6 foot tall master of defense and one of the alternate captains for the Frost (so if you see an "A" on someone's jersey that's what that means). And she has won basically everything there is to win.
An Olympic gold medal? Yes. An NCAA National Championship? 3 of them. An Isobel Cup? Yep. What about an IIHF Championship? U18 or World Championship, you ask? It doesn't matter, because she's done both. She has since retired from the National Team, but was a staple on it for a long time.
After I started watching the PWHL last season she was the player that really caught my eye. Even though the camera wants to follow the action, I am often trying to look at what defenders are doing and I kept noticing #2, because she was always where the opposing offensive wanted to be. You'd swear she can see 5 seconds into the future, because she is just consistently exactly where she needs to be.
And, maybe this is neither here nor there, but I swear she is also just an incredibly graceful skater. Any hockey players out there please confirm or deny this. While a lot of players skate like they're attacking the ice, Stecklein seems to glide across it.
Okay, okay, enough gushing here's some things to note. She had the most penalty minutes of any Frost player last season. But she laughingly claims this was due to refs being inconsistent with where exactly the line was on how league was calling penalties at the beginning. So don't expect her to repeat that distinction.
In terms of defense she often goes under the radar because she's a shutdown defender more than an offensive one. So don't expect her to be racking up points this season. But anytime the Frost is in trouble expect to see her on the ice. She's big, she has incredible hockey sense, and a leading force both on and off the ice for the Frost's defense.
Her skill on defense AND as a leader is a big part of why I think the Frost's defense is something for other teams have to take real seriously.
Sophie Jaques
Jaques was the Patty Kazmaier award winner in 2023. She was part also part of one of the biggest stories of season one: Boston trading Jaques to Minnesota for Susanna Tapani. This was a pretty big deal because Jaques was Boston's 2nd round draft pick and Tapani was Minnesota's 5th round pick! So this was a pretty massive trade.
It was also notable for being a genius move by both teams. Both players went on to really excel on their new teams in ways they hadn't been before. Consider this, during the 7 games she played for Boston she had 0 goals and 0 assists. Then she goes to Minnesota, they have complete faith in her, she starts working with Lee Stecklein, and then in her 15 regular season games with MN she had 2 goals and 8 assists. (She also nearly got the championship winning goal for Minnesota in the Finals, but that's a whole different story.)
Unlike Stecklein, Jaques is an offensive defender. You can expect her to be a part of some big plays and part of the defense line when they want a d-pair with some bite.
Also, if you're like me and sometimes have letters shift around on you a little bit, you should note that there is no "C" in her name and it's pronounced "Jakes."
Claire Thompson
Thompson was our first round draft pick this season. It was also a pick that really fucked up everyone's predictions for the draft. It was generally thought at the time that Minnesota would want to grab Cayla Barnes. Also that it would probably be a Canadian team that went for Thompson as she was part of the Canadian national team that won the World Championship in 2021 and the Olympic Gold in 2022.
My knowledge on her is limited, but from what I do know she's an interesting pick. It was a bit of a gamble by Minnesota because she had taken a year off hockey to study for med school. But from what I've seen from her she was on Team Canada for a reason. A defense player that's also a goal-scoring threat.
She could lead to some really interesting d-pairs this season. Like a hyper offense combo of Jaques and Thomspon? Things could get really spicy there. She could go a long way to giving Minnesota some really interesting ways to utilize their defense this season.
Maggie Flaherty
The best smile on the team. A ray of sunshine. Scored Minnesota's first goal of the playoffs [in game 3!] and stoked the fires to victory. Dances like no one's watching. And a solid defender. She's a delightful human being and will bring you much joy.
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Okay, okay, we can talk about Offense now. Since you INSIST.
Forwards
Kendall Coyne Schofield
Let's start out with our captain and a pivotal figure in the founding of the league. She had recently given birth last season and still managed to lead the team to a championship, so imagine what she'll be able to do now!
She is well known for being fast. She's only 5'2" so between her acceleration and her skating skill, if she slips past the defense she's a hard one to catch. Now a seasoned WoHo veteran she's also capable of being a real play maker. And even though she's small she can fight out a puck from the corners with the best of them.
If I tried to list everything she's done in and for women's hockey we'd be here all day.
She's probably the most serious of the PWHL captains and is the type to speak with her actions more than her words. So you generally won't see her blowing up on social media. She's also my favorite captain to transcribe in interviews because she is incredibly terse.
Taylor Heise
The one, the only, the first ever draft pick in the PWHL! She was out for part of the season for an injury and still managed to be a big goal scorer for Minnesota. When she came back she wasn't playing at her usual level until the playoffs. But if she plays the way she did in the playoffs this season? Oooo, it'll be spicy.
She is currently rocking a knee brace though, but she isn't on the long term injury list? So we'll have to see how she's feeling. Hopefully she avoids further injury this season.
Her talent on the ice in undeniable and she's more than likely a future captain for the team. But trust me, you don't need me to tell you that. Her play will speak for itself when she takes the ice.
What you can't tell from the game footage is that she is one of the most gracious and gregarious members of the team. If you go to any home games this year be on the lookout for her if you head to the autograph table after the game. Even when she isn't on table duty she often comes up to say hi to fans, take pictures, and sign autographs.
Truly just such a friendly and generous person. I have yet to see a fan walk away from her without a big ol' smile on their face.
Also notable for being BFFs with her fellow Frost forward Grace Zumwinkle, who she played with in college.
Grace Zumwinkle
Truly a force of nature.
Heise might get more attention, but don't get it twisted, Zumwinkle is currently the best forward on the team.
Yes, the stats are busted because of Heise's injury. But it's still fact. I don't care. Fight me.
Zummie has the distinction of getting the first hat trick in the PWHL. Which she did in her first game of the season! She was tied with Sarah Nurse for 2nd most goals in the regular season (at 11 goals). She also rightly won the award for rookie of the year. And honestly it wasn't even close. [Emma Maltais fans will disagree here, and I respect their case, she was great too, but they are also wrong. Fight me.]
She was Minnesota's 3rd round draft pick in year one. Darwitz knew that Zum and Heise worked well together and purposefully wanted to get the pair together.
I don't know why, but I feel like a lot of people sleep on Zumwinkle. I rarely hear of her when people are talking about the league powerhouses. But trust me, she's not a player to underestimate.
Her BFF antics with Heise are also a source of great joy and delight to all.
Michela Cava
Cava is an interesting case. She has a laundry list of accolades and championships to her name. She's won the SDHL championship. She's won the ZhHL championship. She's won the PHF championship. And now she's won a PWHL championship too!
She was a solid forward during the regular season. I wouldn't say she really lived up to her full potential, but she was definitely a strong player nevertheless.
But in the playoffs? Oh ho ho! *chef's kiss*
Cava has a bit of a reputation for leaving nothing on the ice when it comes to playoffs. If I'm not mistaken she was actually the playoff MVP for every one of those championships she won before coming to the PWHL? And she went full tilt once again!
Even though Heise ended up winning the Playoff MVP last season Cava tied her for points! [Cava went 4 goals, 4 assists; Heise went 5 goals, 3 assists].
So in a worst case scenario she is a really solid forward. In a best case scenario? She runs over the opposition all season.
Now, as a Frost fan, I'm going to assume that you're at least partially here for the delicious drama. So let me point out to you that last season Cava played on the Frost with her girlfriend Emma Greco. However, this year Greco plays for Boston. Which means any MN v. BOS game will have a little extra spice.
Kelly Pannek
The Frost's other alternate captain.
...I'm sorry...I just looked her up to make sure I had my facts straight and saw something wild and now I need to address it. Apparently she set the state record in high school for quickest hat trick with 3 goals in 22 seconds?? I mean, wtf! That goalie probably still wakes up in a cold sweat some nights from that.
Okay, back on task. Pannek actually played with Lee Stecklein in college for the University of Minnesota [Stecklein was a year ahead of her]. And like Stecklein she has won basically everything there is to win. [This is why her new beer is called "Been There, Won That."]
During last regular season she was 16th in the league in terms of points, so she was definitely in the upper echelon. [for the record Kendall Coyne Schofield was 13th, and Grace Zumwinkle was 7th.]
So definitely expect Pannek to be making things happen this season.
Liz Schepers
Okay, so hear me out.
Yes, Schepers had 0 goals and 3 assists during the regular season. BUT if you want to see what she's capable of just look at the playoffs. She was an absolute menace to Toronto!
In the first 3 goals Minnesota had against them, every single one of them came from a Schepers assist. Another way to say that is that she assisted with every Frost goal of Games 3 and 4. (The team didn't score at all in the first two games, but we won't talk about that)
Who knows what will happen this season. All I'm saying is that if Schepers starts to pop off, I will thoroughly not be surprised.
Also she has an adorable dog named Rookie. So you know, there are multiple reasons to look out for her.
KlƔra HymlƔrovƔ
You'll have to ask someone more familiar with international play knowledge for the scoop here. She was our 3rd round draft pick though and I'm curious to find out what they saw in her. All I know is that she was a top player for the Czech national team. Check out this little article for some more insider knowledge on what she can bring to a team.
I'm dying to see how all these international players are gonna change the play of the game, so I'll be keeping an eye on her and seeing what transpires.
Goalies
Saving the most important position for last: our goalies!
Minnesota was the only team last season to fully embrace a goalie tandem style. Everyone else had their main goalie and tended to only swap them out when they wanted to give them a break. [Except for Ottawa who never wanted to give Maschmeyer a break.]
And this tandem was incredibly effective! So if you too love goalies you're in luck, because you'll get to see both of them on a regular basis. Plus it has the added bonus of making every game a little more exciting by wondering who will be starting that game.
This duo was so effective that Minnesota is the only team this season to put their 3rd goalie on reserve. It's an interesting move to be sure, and yet it does make sense because they are the only team that really knows exactly what they want to do for goalies this season.
But who are these goalies who we have so much trust in?
Nicole Hensley and Maddie Rooney of course!
Hensley was Minnesota's 2nd round draft pick last season, so that should give you a clue of how badly Darwitz wanted her on the team. She's a lover of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. And more importantly one of the U.S. national team's go-to goalie picks for quite a while now.
And I bet you're wondering, has she won a gold medal? Yes! She has. But interestingly enough when she won it in 2018 and she wasn't the starting goalie that year (although she did shutout Russia). Who was the starting goalie that year?
Maddie Rooney!
If you want to get a sense of just how stacked the PWHL's goalie lineups are consider this: Rooney wasn't drafted at all! Minnesota invited her to training camp and then signed her there. A friggin' gold medal-level goalie went undrafted. I mean, talk about an epic training camp pickup.
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There are plenty more players on the team, but these are the ones that I think are the most notable / just some of my favorites. This is probably riddled with typos and mistakes, but whatever! I'm really tired and need to get to bed. If I missed anyone's favorite, be sure to let us know. As well as giving us the run down of what makes them so cool. ;)
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I would love to see personal shopper Kate get a gift from Anthony that he picked out himself. Dress? Earrings? Surprisingly in taste?
I think after Anthony buys Kate that handbag he feels like thereās a lot of pressure to follow that up once theyāre together. Not from Kate. Kate tried to reject his gift at least four times when she saw him again before she finally relented and heās rarely seen her without it. She loves that handbag. She never lets him buy her things and she never expects him to pay for anything but Anthony sees things all the time that remind him of Kate.
Heās not a man with incredible dress sense he doesnāt think. He sticks to the basics. But heās observant. He noticed Kate circling that bag and heās taken note of the kind of things she likes. Bright colors and patterns with classic accessories. Most people might think that itās bold to buy your stylist girlfriendā¦ honestly anything she could wear for her birthday but heās a bold move kind of guy.
He could have asked her friend Sophie for help, or Edwina. Maybe he should have, he realised as he walked around the jewellery shop feeling increasingly stupid. But then he saw it. It was basic really, just a diamond tennis bracelet, nothing too outrageous. But something about it seemed soā¦ Kate. Effortless elegance. Thatās how he saw her. It was one of the first things he noticed about her, the confidence and grace she carried herself with. He hadnāt been able to take his eyes off her.
But even so he feels a bit stupid. Heās not sure whether heās supposed to be celebrating a one month anniversary at all but here he is, at dinner with his girlfriendās eyebrows raised at him as he tried to decide whether or not to actually give her the gift he bought.
āIs everythingā¦ okay?ā Kate asked a little awkwardly, āOh god. Is this a break up dinner?ā
āNo!ā Anthony cleared his throat, not caring if he sounded too urgent. āNo! I justā¦ did something stupid and I donāt know whether to tell you.ā
Kate blinked at him. āI think that depends how stupid. Fair warning; If your penis was in someone else this drinkās getting thrown in your face.ā
āIt wasnāt!ā Anthony pinched the bridge of his nose before he pulled the jewellery box from his jacket placing it on the table between them. āHappy one month anniversary.ā
He watched Kate freeze, staring at the box. āAnthony,ā
āIf you hate it: we can return it.ā
Her fingers skimmed the box hesitantly. āI wonāt.ā
āYou should open it before you say that.ā
His stomach churned as Kate slowly opened it, her lips parting in surprise. āAnthony.ā
āI justā¦ I saw it and thought of you.ā
āI got you a card with a joke coupon for a blow job.ā
Anthony cleared his throat, āI look forward to cashing it in.ā
āIs there any point in me trying to reject this?ā
āNot really. Unless you hate it.ā
Kate laughed as she leaned over, kissing him gently āI love it, thank you.ā
āYouāre welcome.ā
That bracelet is the one on her wrist when they get married eighteen months later and Anthony tries not to feel too smug about that.
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i like that they spent three seasons on taubās tumultuous marriage where they took his unfaithfulness really seriously and weād get these boring scenes of him and rachel just talking about their boring marital problems but then in s7/8 post their divorce they decided to take a hard left into having him cheat on a young nurse with his now ex wife and getting them both pregnant simultaneously and then having two daughters both called sophie. the sitcomification of house md has its issues but that was a definite win. they apologised for three seasons of the most boring plot you could possibly think up by just putting taub in a straight up farce. like heās basically just in his own comedy show at that point
#do i think taub shouldāve had more character development yes#because i love him#do i think realistically he wouldāve had more character development no#so i respect and enjoy the decision to just turn him into basil fawlty#best of both worlds#house md#taub#+
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Might be pretty puritan of me but i cannot bring myself to watch GOT completely by the absurd quantity of sex that there is in the show. I know that the books also have sex but idk It feels like if George actually wants to tell us something trough It and the one in GOT is just there to bait people in because sex sells.
YES like thereās no deeper meaning to like, bronn telling the rains of castamere story with a naked woman in his lap, they just did it that way bc they needed to fit their tiddy quota. and it doesnāt help that the sex scenes in got are kinda notoriously terrible to film & they also werenāt optional for women. they told sophie turner they were giving her a love story & then she got the scripts & sheās marrying ramsay & sheās said (and walked back in a suspicious way) that it was very traumatizing to shoot those scenes. itās p common knowledge that esme bianco was not fond of being naked all the time. thereās very infamously a moment where the rape scenes w dany & drogo were so badly done that jason momoa had to yell ācan someone get her a fucking robeā bc they just like. made emilia chill out naked when they called cut! itās very difficult to get excited about like, the gendrya sex scene later on for example bc itās like. did maisie feel pressured into this? itās not like itās uncommon! ya carice van houten is very sexy but if she at any point ever said ācan i do this scene with my top onā would they have fired & replaced her like they did to the myrcella actress?
and itās not even to say that george doesnāt have his own hang ups, but cersei isnāt just doing girl in girl to be titillating, there IS a reason for it! ya the way george describes the sex scenes like drogo/dany or the twincest sept sex is maybe kind of weird but there's a point to all of it, he follows those threads in a way the show really doesn't like to. like yeah of course part of jaime and cersei's divorce is jaime showing up and being um, incredibly pushy and rapey next to the dead body of their son, that's how those two use sex with each other, as a weapon, as a way to ignore their real issues, and jaime does it because he's upset about his hand and his attraction to brienne and the resurfacing of his feelings about being a knight and he's taking it out on cersei, while cersei lets it happen because she's grieving, because this is how sex is for her, its someone taking and her being forced to let them, at least with jaime it doesn't hurt. in the show they just like. basically just have him get mad and rape her and then never address it again. she kisses his stump. even when they adapt the stuff that's in the book, they strip it of all the context until it's just another rapey sexy topless scene.
it definitely doesn't help when we have hotd to compare either - yeah obviously they were really pushing the "look we had full frontal male" stuff (because sex sells) but aemond and sylvi and aegon are all Doing Something in that scene! they're not just talking shop at a brothel so we can have some sexy ladies in the back like decorations, like varys and littlefinger and bronn and tyrion are constantly doing.
#not to always bring it back to spartacus (everyone should watch spartacus tho) but that was a show that REALLY#just had random tiddies on the screen but they were tiddies with MEANING.#can u imagine alicent and viserys with d&d. oh my god.#asks#maegorsbignaturals
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Show vs Tell, Or: Please Stop Making Things Difficult for Yourself
I said a while ago that I'd write a brief essay about the most misused craft advice in writing once I wrote 10k words, and for once I actually held myself to that! So now, I'm here to tell you about Show vs Tell, or why people make it more complicated than it needs to be.
First, a basic primer for anyone who hasn't heard this term before: "Show vs Tell"/"Showing vs Telling" refers to "showing" the audience information instead of "telling" it to them. You may be thinking, gosh, that sounds unspecific to the point of being readily misapplied, and you would certainly be right! Lots of folks throw it around without fully grasping what it means, how to use it, or when it doesn't actually apply. And I'd really like everyone to stop making it harder on themselves when there's a very straightforward way to conceptualize it.
So for starters, Chuck Palahniuk has an old but good essay about eliminating "thought" verbs from prose that holds the hell up. But I'm going to tell you an even simpler way to conceptualize the difference between showing and telling:
Eliminate the inner thoughts entirely.
Ask yourself, if my narrator's interior monologue was inaccessible to the audience, how would I convey the same informationāliterally showing it?
Forget for a moment that your medium is the word, and imagine you only have dialogue and visuals. If this was taking place on the screen or in a graphic novel, how would you convey that this character has a crush on someone in their class? That they're hotheaded? That they're struggling with a decision?
Here's a perfect example of this from the opening scene of Howl's Moving Castle.
Devoid of context, we have a girl trying on a hat in a mirror, and also trying on a fake smile. Then her expression sours and she pulls the hat down over her face until we can only see her frown. She's wearing a plain dress and the hat is simple, despite the elaborate hats and ornaments on display around her.
You don't have to know anything about this character to understand what's being conveyed in this moment: This girl is deeply uncomfortable with trying to be pretty and flirty, but in the safety of privacy she wants that, even though she feels inept and self-conscious about it. She's in this world, but she's not part of it. Even brushing up against it for a moment makes her shut down and reject it with hostility.
More importantly, it's all communicated with a simple gesture and design choices. Not by Sophie thinking to herself, I wish someone would take me dancingāno I don't! I work too hard to have time for dancing!
That's showing. And it's more resonant, because we've all felt silly trying something on in a mirror! Or, say, if you want to show a character has a crush, having them get flustered and laughing too loud. Or showing that they're a hothead by having them snap at a simple disagreement, etc. etc.
This also extends to worldbuilding, dialogue, and stakes.
Worldbuilding: If your story is set in a town run by a crooked sheriff, you could have the narrator say "everyone knows Sheriff Smith is squeezing the shops for bribes." Or the sheriff can stop the narrator for "smelling like weed" while the sheriff's drunken son speeds by, about to total his third BMW.
Dialogue: If your character is angry, they can say "I'm furious." Or they can slam dishes in the sink and insist "I'm not angry" while openly crying. They can snap "I'm not discussing this again." They can demand "What is he doing here?"
Stakes: You can have an all-seeing oracle say "If you do not return the Mystic Orb to the Sunlight Altar by the solstice, the world will plunge forever into darkness." (And as we'll get into it below, sometimes you actually need that.) You can also have intermittent but increasing periods of total darkness occurring as the party travels to the Sunlight Altar. You can have the Mystic Orb start cracking the longer it takes, and the sun getting a little dimmer with every fracture. You can have people's shadows growing bigger and bigger and acting autonomously.
But showing isn't the end-all-be-all; telling absolutely has a place. Sometimes it's better to quickly and plainly state information and move on, such as a little earlier in the scene, when the other hat shop girls have spotted Howl's castle:
"Look, it's Howl's castle!"
"I've never seen it so close!"
āDo you think Howl will go into town?ā
āHeās gone!ā
āNo, heās just hiding in the fog from those planes.ā
āDid you hear what happened to that girl, Martha, in South Haven? They say Howl has torn her heart out.ā
āNow Iām too scared to go out!ā
āDonāt worry. He only preys on pretty girls.ā
This tells us some stuff directly: Who owns the castle we see in the first few seconds, that he's hiding from soldiers, that he has a reputation for preying on beautiful girls. We can infer also that he's a bit of a coward, he stays away from civilization, and that his reputation for cruelty has spread over multiple regions.
This happens so quickly, and it's couched in enough character between the teasing and the gossip, that it doesn't stand out as capital-t-Telling. That's exactly what expository dialogue should do. "Showing" us all that information would take a lot of screen time that can be saved in ten seconds of dialogue.
It's also not just about saving time; it's setting up an image that Howl initially fulfills when he helps Sophie escape the soldiers... only to be punctured when she actually goes to his castle and sees the real Howl. Telling is good for setting expectations that you know will be subverted later.
So yeah, tl;dr: If you're tied up in knots about "am I showing?? am I telling??" just ask yourself how you'd convey the same information in a movie or graphic novel, without access to interior monologue, and evaluate if that'd be better. Most of the time the answer is yes, but not always!
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