#based on me i’m the robot girl

[wbfm]

robot girl with a toolkit on her vanity instead of a makeup kit

[burningembers91]

Outside Looking In - Nam-Gyu x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Nam-Gyu has always been an outsider, watching as everyone passes him by. He spends his days trying to make a name for himself, and trying to show the beautiful hostess with a broken heart that he'd love her until the end of time, if only she would let him.

A/N: Based off of this ask. I wanted to say a HUGE thank you the anon who asked that I write for Nam-Gyu. I didn't really like his character in Squid Game, but I am SO happy with how this turned out. I wasn't planning on writing this so quickly, but the ask gave me such a good idea, I couldn't resist. Thank you, Anon. I hope you enjoy!

Park Nam-Gyu had spent his entire life desperately waiting to be noticed. Waiting to be noticed by his parents, his siblings, his class mates, employers, and women. But no matter how hard he tried he always just seemed to be on the edge of everyone’s periphery. He tried to be bolder, louder, a little more cocky; he’d met so many people like that who commanded attention, so he couldn’t understand why it didn’t work for him.

He'd taken a job as a Club Promoter to meet girls, but also on the hope that people would want to hang out with him, even if was just for discounted or free bar entry. He would spend all week advertising clubs and bars on Instagram, promising his old classmates he would be able to get them tickets for the hottest places in town, even the ones that were exclusively guest list only. It had worked for a while, and Nam-Gyu found himself basking in the popularity he’d always craved. But people were fickle, and once they got what they wanted, they soon left. There were hundreds of club promoters in the city, and most of them had better connections that he did. He never gave up though, spending each weekend following the crowds of drinkers that flooded through Seoul. He never quite managed to attract enough attention though, left to stand on the pavement clutching his leaflets as everyone passed him by.

Nam-Gyu knew he should throw the towel in. He didn’t make any money as a club promoter, still living in the tiny box room at his mum and dad’s house. He should really focus on a proper job, something in insurance or accounting; but then he really would be a nobody. Just another faceless ghost in a suit, robotically moving through life. He knew he was destined for greater things, if only he could just be noticed.

You were the other reason he didn’t want to quit the job that made him no money. You, the beautiful hostess, whose job it was to entertain the richer clientele who frequented the bars he promoted. Night after night you would bend to every will and demand of drunk men, smiling politely as they groped you, called you hideous names and tried to force themselves on you. You were tired of this life, tired of being nothing more than a pretty girl in a tight dress and pair of heels whose name no one bothered to learn. Except for Nam-Gyu; he knew your name; he saw the sadness harboured in your eyes. He watched as you stood in all kinds of weather, smiling and greeting people through gritted teeth. You were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and he was so madly, so deeply in love with you. He could try and bullshit the drinkers with his false bravado, but he could never fool you. “What are you doing after work?” he asked you one night as you stood shivering on the pavement, savouring the last fewminutes of your break. “I’m going home,” you sighed, “I finish at 3am.” “Maybe I could walk you home,” he offered, taking in the goosebumps that littered your delicate skin. You shouldn’t be standing out here freezing. You should be inside, curled by a fire with someone who doted on you, cared for you. Nam-Gyu wished he could be that person. “I’m getting a taxi,” you told him. “Thanks though.”

You’d noticed Nam-Gyu plenty of times. He’d been working as a club promoter for as long as you’d been working as a hostess. He’d always seemed sweet, but he tried so hard to impress people who didn’t deserve his attention. He always looked out for you, keeping you company on quieter nights, buying you dinner if your tips didn’t cover your meal. You doubted he made much money either, but he always made sure you didn’t go hungry. He made you laugh, and when it was just the two of you, he was so different to the brash, cocky persona he adopted when he was working. You wondered why he felt the need to act like someone he wasn’t.  You wished you had his never-ending enthusiasm, his ability to keep a smile plastered to his face no matter what. People spoke to him like shit, and yet he never let it phase him. You on the other hand, you were finding it harder and harder to deal with the men who grabbed at you and treated you like a life-size Barbie doll, simply there for their amusement. Your dream was to become a florist, to open your own shop. But dreams required money, and you spent all yours just trying to get by each month. You knew how much Nam-Gyu cared for you, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him he was wasting his time. You were damaged goods, too broken to ever love again.

Nam-Gyu wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting outside for when he saw you. It was raining, a constant drizzle that soaked through his shirt and jeans, plastering his hair to his cheeks. He’d tried to gain entry to the very bar he’d been promoting, but the bouncer wouldn’t admit him. “We’re full,” he was told, despite the constant stream of patrons entering. He didn’t want to go home though, didn’t want to face his parents to whom he was a constant source of disappointment. So, he sat in the rain, waiting for you to show up on your break. This time however, you weren’t alone. There was a man with you, his hands round your waist. You were pushing him away, but he’d just grab you again, clearly unfazed or unaware that you weren’t interested in his advances. “Please stop,” you snapped, pulling your arm away as he tried to plant a sloppy kiss on your lips. “Seriously, fuck off!” “Hey!” Nam-Gyu stood up, marching over to where you stood, his fists balled. “Leave her alone! She said she’s not interested.” He couldn’t make out the man’s response; the guy was too drunk to form words coherently, but apparently not to drunk to harass you. “It’s fine, honestly,” you told him, “I’m used to it. My manager has called him a cab, he’ll be gone soon.” But your eyes were so sad, your mouth trembling as you held back tears. Nam-Gyu wished he could take the sadness away from you, wished he could see a smile light up your face.

He waited for you until the bar closed, just in case anyone else tried to take advantage of you. “Why are you still here?” you sighed, pitying the rain-soaked man who never gave up on you. “I wanted to make sure you got home ok,” he told you, trying to hide the shivers that wracked his body. “I’m fine, honestly.” You started walking, your tips not enough to pay for a taxi, and Nam-Gyu followed. You wished you could open up and let him in; you wished you weren’t so broken. But a lifetime of toxic relationships had left you damaged. You were so used to being hurt that you didn’t think anyone could fix you, not even the sweet club promoter who stood waiting for you in the rain. You walked home in silence, enjoying his company but too scared to admit it to him. You stopped as you got the front of your apartment, turning to say goodnight to the man you desperately wished you could love back.

“I wouldn’t treat you like those men do,” Nam-Gyu whispered, “I’d make sure you never had to work in a place like that ever again. I’d hold you every night and tell you how lucky I was to have you.” “If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did.” You smiled sadly, your hand gently clasping his cheek. He leaned into your touch, relishing the sensation against his freezing cold skin. You left him standing out there, watching you as you made your way up the stairs to your place.

He forced himself to turn and walk home, the rain never once ceasing. Nam-Gyu would probably always be a nobody, but to you, he was desperate to be a someone.

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Logan Howlett, the man you are. (Headcanons!!)

Minors, do not interact.

A/N: Y’all. I’ve been in a writing rut, but something about Logan- and Huge Jackedman, by extension- regaining his moment in the spotlight has gotten me back at it. Hugh was 1000% the reason I found out that I have a thing for dilfs, and let me tell you, I ain’t mad about it. To quote one author, who I can’t remember off the top of my head but wrote a KILLER breeding kink fic for Wolvie, “before there was Jensen Ackles, there was Hugh Jackman.” If you know me or my work, you know I’m a Jackles girl, but Hugh? Hugh will always get me going, whether he’s a ringleader, a robot shadow boxer, or otherwise.

TLDR I’m so in love with Hugh/Logan again. I always am, but I’m really on fire rn. Don’t worry, I will be continuing the 2SC series, but I needed this.

As always, all interaction, especially your words, is so very much appreciated!! I hope you like this one! Also, thank you for 120 followers! This account is maybe three months old, this is an insane milestone.

CW: it’s really just soft with a side of spice, the most flavorful being daddy/breeding.

-first of all, this man is a the biter.

-and it’s not always in a sexual sense

-he’ll just walk up to you and gently graze his teeth against your exposed shoulder or neck

-especially at night, after sex or not. He’ll be holding you close- you’re the little spoon ofc🎀- and just nibble on the juncture of your neck and shoulder while you cuddle into him

-honestly, it doesn’t hurt. And he only leaves marks if he wants to, ie when he’s balls deep inside of your little cunt OR wanting to remind the world who you belong to

-he’s just got a bit of an oral fixation is all

-speaking of which, he could be between your thighs for the rest of eternity and he’d be fine with it. He LOVES when you tug on his hair as he makes you squirm, only needing one strong hand to hold you down

-he goes feral when he sees you wearing his shirts

-loves to throw you over his shoulder and to play fight

-he’s interested in anything you’re interested in

-mans can’t cook to save his life but adores watching you and “helping”

-aka being all up in your business when you’re literally just trying to chop an onion

-he can be clingy. Not in a whiny way, in a playfully annoying way.

-will always find a way to make you late to anything. Sometimes it’s for the sake of a quickie, other times it’s because he wants one more kiss or to see the last five minutes of whatever show you guys watch together

-if you’re into daddy, he’s into daddy. Especially if you’re significantly younger than him

-he likes to squish you- your boobs, tummy, ass, wherever. He loves your body for what it is and loves you

-this man is so in love with you, by the way

-he’s old as hell but if you teach him how to text he’ll text you sporadically throughout the day. Sometimes it’s really blurry, almost impossible to decipher, pictures of things that remind him of you, other times it’s “When will you be home?” even though he’s already called you to ask four times. That’s mainly on his days off though- if he’s not doing something or you then he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

-that’s not to say he’s not always thinking of you. On missions, wherever, you’re the first thing in his mind. Give him a locket with a picture of the two of you and chances are he’ll wear it forever

-oh back to the other one he totally texts like an old man. If you try to use slang, or even just use “u,” you’ll confuse him so bad that he’ll think he’s in the future or that you’re speaking a different language. He also doesn’t like emojis, unfortunately 😞

-he’s got a sweet tooth. Loves to bake with you- he can’t cook but he can make a mean batch of snickerdoodles. No one knows why, and he’ll never offer any explanation.

-speaking of sweets that’s why he loves eating you out so much, because you taste so sweet to him

-and all of his nicknames are sweet based- sweetheart, sweets, sugar, etc- with the exception of darling which coming from him would put anyone on their knees immediately

-speaking of being on your knees he loves when you do it. Not as much as he loves eating you out, but he does enjoy a solid blow once in a while

-he’s a sucker for cockwarming, even if it’s barely sexual. Just as a way to be close. If you don’t mind him smoking he’ll smoke a cigar while you do so, and get into a nice soft headspace

-the kink of his that annoys him the most is breeding. He doesn’t want kids (unless you do, which is its own conversation. Personally I don’t so works for me haha) but when he’s balls deep, pushing you into the mating press, it doesn’t matter. Especially if you’re in a place where he can fuck you raw all the time- ie you take the pill, have had a hysterectomy, etc- then he will, and he will always spill his seed deep in you, mind filling with pictures of you all round and swollen and cute even if it’s impossible

-however it is hot when he gets in that headspace regardless of if kids are in the question or not

-hang on I thought of something else and then I forgot it

-uhh

-oh that’s it. Praise. Loves getting it, loves receiving it. If you’re more receptive to degradation he’ll give you that, but he loves telling you what a good girl you are

-also has a blast with brat taming

-anyways back to the soft stuff

-he loves domestic life. Curling up with you on the couch with fluffy blankets and snacks, watching rom coms and other cheesy movies

-he’ll rest his head in your lap if you’re drawing, crocheting, reading, etc

-he loves being petted. Your hands in his hair, tracing his muscles, whatever. It makes him so happy and it’s soothing for him

-and we all know how he’s mr gruff n tuff, right?? Well if he’s really eepy and lying on his lap while you stroke his hair, there’s an ever slight chance you can get him to purr. Don’t tease him about it, though, or he’ll get super self conscious

-if you like to workout he’ll work out with you

-he really likes to box to blow off steam, but if it’s with you and you’re not a fellow mutant it’s more play fighting than anything, but it’s still fun

-he’s a sucker for cheesy dates

-call him ‘Lo’ or ‘Wolvie,’ or any nickname that fits him. He thinks it’s adorable, and owns it. He also gives you like fifty nicknames of his own.

-he loves long walks on the beach if it’s accesible, hiking’s also fun to him

-he’ll never take his anger out on you, ever

-he loves reading with you, just sitting in comfortable silence with your respective books

-that’s all for now!!

If you have any ideas for ficlets or headcanons, my asks box is always open!! Xx

[rheiple]

Sun wants to be your favorite.

Have you noticed? From the way he greets you with a really tight hug and a little twirl, unlike how he only gives his other friends a quick pat on their shoulder and a handshake at best. The way he like to help you with work whether it’d be passing out the tools you needed, reaching stuff you can’t reach at, or even giving you the emotional support you needed when you feel like you can’t complete a task at hand. Please, he’s practically giving you the puppy eyes waiting for your praises, whenever he gives you a gift he hand made, cause he believes that putting effort like hand made crafts is much more romantic than buying it. Not that he mind buying stuff for you that is! Whatever you need, he’ll give you all, because you’re his favorite human!

And when you do give him compliments and praises? Ohh you flatter him so much! Internally squealing like a school girl who gushes about their crush, it’s so bad that he’s been nagged at by Moon. He doesn’t care though, he’s just jealous that he’s our favorite!

He doesn’t really believe it, but when you gently cup his face to admire his blue eyes, his golden rays and his pearly white smile. You told him that he’s such a pretty boy? He practically melts because of how hot his circuits are! Oh don’t look at him, you’re making him blush!

But you know what he really really likes? Whenever it’s his turn to praise and compliment you, he gets to see you overheat! Your flushed cheeks, awkward smile not being used to such statements about you, and the way your pretty eyes dart around to look anywhere but him. Oohhh he can’t wait to just eat you up! Acting all shy like that, and you’ll get a hyper Sun not letting you out of his love bombing.

He really likes you, and you seem to like him too! So is he your favorite boy? He really really hopes so !

.

.

.

Moon is your favorite.

Oh, he’s not going to sit and hope that he’s your favorite. He knows he is your favorite. I mean, you wouldn’t go out of your way to be nice and be buddy buddy with him right? He found it cute that one time you were too shy to start up a conversation with him, thinking he’s not much of a talker. He really isn’t, he prefers to listen to your voice. But if you asked him, he’d talk and talk. Wanna hear about facts of the solar system? Or hear about that one time a kid took a dookie on Sun? Oh, he’s just joking Sunny boy, he’s not that mean to embarrass you to his favorite human. Do you want to hear a story? About the spooky rabbit lady who likes to kidnap bad children? Or a love story about a human… and a robot..

Hah, he doesn’t know what your talking about Starlight. It sounds familiar? Well, yes because it’s based on a book he read. What book? Uh, he’s actually gate keeping it. Sorry Star, the book was too good for him to share it. Him? Projecting his feelings on the story?

His gonna put you in naptime for that.

Ohh but don’t think he didn’t noticed the way your eyes shined with stars whenever he lifted something heavy to help you with your duties. Like what you see? You’re practically ogling at his physique. Not that he minds, he loves your undevided attention. You get excited and hype him up whenever he does the lifting. His face plate spins in glee thinking about being your big and strong man.

He likes really teasing you, he sees your flushed cheeks and hears your heart rate speeding up little by little. He gets the sudden urge to just pinch and pull your cheeks really hard.

Oh, but you always like to take revenge. Stroking his cheeks and looking at him like he’s the million dollars you’ve won at the lottery. Telling him how he’s such a handsome man. He might’ve grumbled, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t loved it. He’s just very flustered at your compliments. No Star, I’m hiding in my hat- hey don’t take it off of me!

He knows you never get mad at him whenever he steals shiny trinkets and presents it to you. You just really love how he really really loves you. You know you’re his favorite human, his actions have shown it… So it’d make sense that he’s also your favorite, when you reciprocate his love for you right?

I got the sudden energy to write this when I listened to the song called "Pretty boy" by Naethan Apollo. The song is such a banger I would recommend it to y'all.

[phone4pills]

nerd!reader sucking off robot!chris.

Sighh 😞 you didn’t ask nicely but I get it… you guys can’t live without smut so here it is. Don’t ask me again for AT LEAST a week I’m really in my soft girl era.

robot!Chris was built to be sensitive from his waist down

his head fell back with a cry, hitting the headboard. Each time your tongue manoeuvred between his slit, Chris’ hips bucked upwards, pushing his cock further down your throat. his hands were fisted against your rough sheets, lips parted so his gasps filled the room every time you sucked on his length, causing pressure to build in his lower stomach.

sweat dripped between the muscles of his abdomen, creating a sheer gloss over his skin. similar to that of the wet mess of curls atop his head. your nails gripped his base, french tips gently teasing him as your lips closed around his cock tighter. “y/n, mmh- please…” his voice cracked.

you could feel his thighs shaking as he neared his limit, hips snapping violently between his whitened knuckles. warm semen trickled down your throat and you took all that he gave you, eyes watering. Chris’ head lay motionless on the pillow as his breaths slowed down. “h-hurts… so good.”

you hummed, getting off the bed and untying your hair. “there’s a cold towel in the bathroom, I have to meet a friend at the library.” the boy sighed, rolling over and burying his nose in the velvet pillow cover, closing his eyes.

[in1-nutshell]

Hey so what if the old Predacon buddy were to meet the rescue bots how would they react to the senior Predacon?

It is said that the list of 'Grandbabies' grew that day.

Hope you enjoy!

Steel Mauler meets the Rescue Bots

SFW, Platonic, Cybertronian reader

TFP

Steel Mauler was having their daily sun nap in the scrapyard.

Their joints were aching a bit more than usual and opted to stay at the yard for patrol.

Fix-it, Denny and Russel had left with the team earlier, leaving them alone in the scrapyard.

It was a peaceful morning in the sun.

Until they heard the groundbridge starting up.

It confused them as they didn’t remember Bee using the bridge for patrolling.

Out popped a little yellow drone flying around saying the words ‘Toast’ repeatedly.

Steel Mauler got curious and carefully approached the little yellow drone before it went back into the bridge.

…Now… Steel Mauler knew they shouldn’t go in…

… But they did it anyways.

They walked into some sort of building on the other side as the portal closed.

Looking around for the little yellow drone… instead they found two human children.

Steel Mauler looking down at the kids.

“…”

“…”

“…umm, hello there. My name is Steel Mauler and-”—Steel Mauler

The boy jumps up and walks up to them.

“Noble! A giant robot dragon!”—the boy

The boy looks at their insignia.

“You’re an Autobot?”—the girl

“That’s right. How do you know about Autobots.”—Steel Mauler

“We know about the Rescue Bots are Autobots.”—the boy

Steel Mauler raises an optic.

“Rescue Bots? Here? I didn’t think that many or if any were still active, after all this time.”—Steel Mauler

“That’s what Chase said.”—the girl

“Hmm, and your names are?”—Steel Mauler

“I’m Frankie.”--Frankie

“I’m Cody. And you said your name was ��Steel Mauler’?”—Cody

“That is correct.”—Steel Mauler

The older Predacon smirks a bit before patting the two on the head with their wings.

The door opens revealing two older adults.

“… Well, this is awkward.”—Steel Mauler

The girl and boy, Frankie Green and Cody Burns introduced them to their father’s.

They bowed a bit showing respect.

Cody wanted them to meet the bots.

Steel Mauler agreed and followed the humans.

The bots were not ready to see a giant Predacon walk into base with Cody, Frankie, Doc Green, and Chief Burns.

Neither were their human partners.

Steel Mauler winces a bit at the high pitch scream coming from the orange bot.

The blue and green ones stood in front of the humans and the red one looked like he was going to fight them.

“Calm down guys! Steel Mauler’s friendly! See!”--Cody

Frankie points at the Autobot insignia.

“See!”--Frankie

The bots relax a bit but they are still on edge.

“I apologize for the sudden entrance. I was accidentally bridged here.”—Steel Mauler

“You used a groundbrigde?”—human with the glasses

“More like dragged against my will.”—Steel Mauler

Heatwave walks up to them.

“I’m Heatwave.”--Heatwave

“I am Chase.”--Chase

“I’m Boulder.”--Boulder

“And I’m Blades.”--Blades

Steel Mauler turns to Blades.

“You’re Blades? Hmm, good to finally have a face for the name.”—Steel Mauler

“Name?”—human with the orange hair

“How do you know Blades?”—human woman

“I remember Bumblebee mentioning your name quite a few times.”—Steel Mauler

Blades suddenly moves closer to the Predacon.

“Really?! Bumblebee talks about me!?”--Blades

Steel Mauler is now resisting the urge to add another bot to their collection of grandbabies.

Steel Mauler has some time to get to know the rest of the team before they decide to go back to the scrapyard.

From ‘sparing’ with Heatwave.

To helping Boulder with planting some trees.

To helping Chase archive some of the cases.

To watching some movies with Blades.

To giving the humans Dragon rides.

Blades is the one who figures out quickly that Steel Mauler is old.

As in old as dirt.

It also didn’t help that their joints were hurting and making a squeaking sound.

“Why don’t we sit down for a bit longer.”--Blades

“I’m fine Blades, see.”—Steel Mauler

Steel Mauler stretches a servo.

SSSQQQQUUUEEEEAAAAKKKKK!

“…”—both bots

“… Now I know what your thinking, but this is all normal.”—Steel Mauler

“Steel, you need more rest especially with how old you are. It’s not good for the long run.”--Blades

“I can still kick it like the other’s Blades.”—Steel Mauler

“But you aren’t invincible either.”--Blades

Steel Mauler huffs a bit.

“Please?”--Blades

Steel Mauler huffs more.

“Then you leave me with no choice. Cody!”--Blades

“Blades what are you doing?”—Steel Mauler

Cody comes in.

“Yeah Blades?”--Cody

“Steel needs to rest their joints but they don’t want to and its bad for them to strain them at this age.”--Blades

“Wait your old?”--Cody

“Yes, I’m old but not that old.”—Steel Mauler

“In human terms how old would you be?”--Cody

Steel Mauler tries to resist the puppy dog eyes.

It fails.

“…In the hypothetical situation that your bots were the human ages of 30…”—Steel Mauler

“Then you are…?”--Cody

“I’m 1500.”—Steel Mauler

“…what?”—Cody and Blades

“Cody I’m pretty sure I am the oldest Cybertronain alive.”—Steel Mauler

Soon everyone catches on, and they are swarmed Steel Mauler with accommodations for their aching joints.

Steel Mauler decides to just let them do their thing, after all the heat pads were helping a bit with the pains.

Meanwhile at the scrapyard…

Bumblebee was frantically looking for Steel Mauler until he received a picture from Blades.

It was Steel Mauler happily sleeping with the kids outside.

There was a little message saying that the older Predacon was doing just fine and would be returning home soon.

[lovelybucky1]

Special Request

Kinktober Day 2- Anal Sex

warnings: AFAB!reader, anal sex, anal toys, sex work, pre-established scene, unprotected sex, creampies, f!masturbation, 18+ minors dni

main masterlist

kinktober masterlist

being a call girl for the richest businessmen in america was a high profile job. not only was desertion and privacy required of you, you were also expected to keep up with your clients’ sexual desires.

most of them were tame, not requiring too much physicality. most of them wanted to worship you. unsurprisingly, powerful men like to be submissive in the bedroom. it didn’t take much work on your end to lay back and let them put their hands and mouth on you, occasionally giving praise and direction that made their cocks leak.

one client, however, stands out from the rest. he is very dominant and demanding. when you first met him, he made his desires clear to you.

“when i’m paying you, i own you. i dont care if you have other clients or a husband or a kid. when you’re with me, i’m the only thing you think about. before each session i’ll give you a list of things to prepare and give you money if you have to buy anything. then you’ll come here at 5:15 to set up and be ready for me when i get home from work. i’ve given the security guards notice that you’ll be coming and they’ll let you in. i will tip very generously for your services, but if that is not enough incentive to keep up with my needs, we will part ways.”

you agreed to his terms and since then, things with mr. fischer have been wonderful. he does, in fact, tip very generously, but that is nothing compared to how he is in bed.

he expects obedience but will also occasionally instruct you to disobey so he can punish you. he gets off on power and control, and he makes sure to constantly display both of those with you.

he texted you two days ago sending details about tonight’s session. he was short and to the point as always.

red lace. buttplug- brand new, never been used. dark makeup. i want you stretched and prepped with the plug when i get there.

along with the message he sent $40 for the plug he wanted you to buy. later that day you went out to the sex shop and bought one you thought he’d like. now, robert was going to be home any minute and you’re dressed and prepped exactly how he wants.

“front door open,” the robotic voice from the security system announces.

you tremble slightly in anticipation as you hear his shined shoes click on the hardwood stairs. you left the door to the bedroom open per his request. he made it clear that you’re a toy for him to use, not his wife preparing a cheeky surprise.

mr fischer has a lot of hang ups, but he pays well and has a wonderful cock, so you put up with it.

he walks through the door and lets out a deep sigh when he sees you. though you’re face down on the bed, you hear the familiar rustling of his clothes and can picture what he’s doing behind you perfectly.

he’s loosened his tie and unclipped his cuff links, placing them on the dish on the dresser. then he shrugs his suit jacket off and drapes it over the chair he likes to watch you from occasionally. you can’t hear his steps on the carpeted floor, so his cool hand on your ass makes you jump.

“hello, sir,” you greet him. he says nothing in return.

his thumbs trace over the lace edges of your panties, taking in the scarlet color that he loves so much. he then begins to knead your ass cheeks, digging fingers into your soft flesh hard enough to bruise. without warning, he brings his hand back and spanks you, the slap ringing through the bedroom. you successfully stifle your whimper.

clearly not in the mood for foreplay, robert grabs the waistband of your panties and tugs them down so they gather at the crook of your knees. you chose a cheeky pair of panties, wanting something that will hide the base of the plug until they’re completely off.

from behind you, robert lets out a low groan. you chose a silver plug with a red jewel that glitters in the dim light of the bedroom. he pushes on the base with his thumb, watching you take it deeper before it moves back out when he takes away the pressure.

while you would like to be talked to, you understand that this is mr. fischer’s stress relief. he’s pent up from a long week at work, but once he’s closer to cumming, he won’t be able to shut up.

robert grasps the end of the plug and slowly pulls it out. he waits until the widest part of the plug is stretching you before pushing it back in. he repeats this, slowly fucking you with the bulb and watching as your cunt drips.

mercifully, he pulls the plug out and tosses it to the floor. it makes a faint thud, then you hear the sound of a zipper. robert slaps his cock on your right cheek, leaving a sticky patch of precum behind. he spits on your hole and pushes his blunt head against it.

he doesn't ask if you're ready or give any warning before he starts to push in. despite wearing a plug, there is still a bit of a stretch. he goes slow, but unrelenting. once he's fully seated inside you, he grabs you by the hips and uses his hold as leverage to fuck you.

"tight fuckin' ass," he groans.

the slow drag of his cock inside you makes your toes curl. you know he isn't doing this for your benefit, for your pleasure, but in some way, that makes you enjoy it more. he's using you like a fleshlight, just a warm hole to stick his dick in.

lewd squelches come from behind you as he fucks into you, using you for his own pleasure. his cock stimulates your g-spot from a different angle than you’re used to and it makes you dizzy, abdomen burning with need.

“you’re so fucking good,” he says, thrusting harder.

you try not to make noise, wanting to be a perfect toy for him, but it’s hard to suppress the whines he’s punching out of you.

“who owns this ass?” he asks, giving you a spank.

“you do, sir,” you whine.

speak when spoken to is the rule he likes you to follow. and when you do speak, you must use a title showing your respect.

“i’m gonna cum in you, honey. fill you ‘til you’re fucking dripping with it.”

robert loves to cum inside. to him, it’s the final display of ownership during sex. after a few hard, rough thrusts, robert’s cock twitches and the first spurts of cum fill you.

“fuck,” he hisses through his teeth.

he pulls your hips flush against yours and moves you onto him, pushing and pulling rapidly to milk his cock dry.

it was over too quickly for your liking, but he’s not paying you to cum on his cock. you’re here for his pleasure and nothing else.

robert stays inside you for a few moments to catch his breath, then he pulls out slowly, careful not to let any cum escape. he then picks up the plug from the floor, wipes it off on his suit pants, and slides it back into you.

“good girl,” he says, tapping your ass as a single to sit up.

robert beings to undress fully in front of you, but there isn’t anything sexual about it besides his enticing body. he isn’t putting on a show for you.

he leaves his expensive suit in a crumple on the floor, uncaring that it will get wrinkled. his dry cleaner will make it neat again, and if not, he can buy ten more just like it as a replacement.

“i’m gonna go shower. money’s on the dresser. feel free to get yourself off before you go.” he says casually.

he walks out of the bedroom and into the master bathroom. you watch his ass until your vision is obstructed by the door.

you sigh and scoot up the bed to bury your face in his pillow, inhaling the masculine scent of aftershave and shampoo.

you slide your hand down your front and begin to rub your clit. you wish, just once, he’d request a longer session. one where he fucks you thoroughly and makes you cum repeatedly before the night is through.

[sickospaghetti-o]

Random future head cannons for Gravity Falls.

(I can’t sleep so I’m gonna make it everyone else’s problem)

Dipper:

- Starts the first ever ddmd club at his high school as well as a Cryptid/ Mystery club (Mabel is the vice president of the club and always plans club events)

- Studies ancient history and journalism in college

- Is 100% a loser trans boy (Mabel always helps him with his t shots)

- Makes journals of his own and tried to publish one (Didn’t go well)

- Meets a really nice girl in college that helps him get out of his comfort zone. She finds Dipper’s work on cryptids very interesting. “She’s the one, Mabel. I know it. She just gets me.”

- Forgets to tie his shoes all the time and is constantly tripping because of it

- Still loves BABBA but also listens to Midwest emo

Mabel:

- Waddles still lives with Mabel and wins the world record for oldest pig alive

- Studies Fashion in college and starts her own alternative clothing business (it’s very successful)

- Stan taught her how to con during the first summer she visited gf and she got really good at it but has refused to use her skills unless someone is being an asshole and “Totally deserved it, Dipper! It’s not my fault he didn’t know how to cheat at poker”

- Listens to bands like lemon demon and will wood after she goes through her boy band phase (she goes back and listens to several timz when she misses Grenada and Candy)

- She and Pacifica have been dating since the beginning of their junior year in high school (they confessed to each other over the summer and are currently doing a long distance thing)

Ford:

- He and Fiddleford hang out after weirdmagedon and manage to rekindle their friendship

- Started a new journal with Stan while they traveled the world on the Stan’o’ war

- Found out that the Cold War ended and he learned about the attack on 9/11 and he found out that gay marriage was legalized all in the same day (had to sit down because he thought he was going to pass out)

- Is slowly learning to forgive himself for “falling for Bill’s tricks” and still has to accept that it wasn’t his fault and that he was manipulated

- His favorite new “technology advancement” is bluetooth

Pacifica:

- Over the years she and her family have drifted apart and Paz has learned to live to be completely independent from her parents

- Works at the dinner with Lazy Susan and has come to see her as a mother figure

- Is actually really good with computers and technology

- She went on a walk on night and ended up at the old Northwest Mansion. She was feeling really homesick and so she walked around the gardens for a while and met Fiddleford. They found out that they have the same passion for computers and bonded of it.

- She made an indie mystery puzzle solving game based loosely on weirdmagedon with the help of Dipper and Fidds

- In a relationship with Mabel and still gets butterflies whenever she’s around

Fiddleford:

- Divorced his raccoon wife (the break up was messy, he doesn’t like to talk about it)

- Invites Tate and his family to live in the mansion with him and they all accept

- He and Tate talk a lot and Fidds apologizes all the time for leaving when Tate was a kid. They mange to figure it out and their relationship is getting stronger

- Teaches Pacifica tons about computer tech and teaches her a little bit of robotics (her first robot blew up and set fire to the south garden of the mansion)

- Relearns banjo and is still one hell of a musician

- Barely remembers dating Stan when they were younger but still has feelings for him, he won’t tell him until later (don’t mind me just spreading my fiddlestan agenda)

Stan:

- Took Ford to go visit Shermie (Shermie hits them both and then hugs them immediately after)

- Has stopped conning people as much as possible and now only does it when absolutely necessary (Normally while on adventures with Ford)

- His favorite band is They Might Be Giants and he and Ford sing their songs together all the time

- Bill still lives in Stan’s mind but has no power he’s just like an annoying little voice in his head (they manage to be “friends” and get along)

- He picked up lace making and is incredibly talented (He originally learned how to knit from Mabel, but didn’t like it as much. She showed him what Lacemaking was and he fell in love with the hobby)

- Has gaps in his memory but has been able to regain most of them

- He and Fidds used to date when he was rebuilding the portal but they don’t talk about it anymore. He has lingering feelings but he won’t ever admit it.

[blueikeproductions]

So the other TFONE Prime cards came out, so what I’ll do is just cover the ones I don’t have much to say about here.

First up Solus Prime.

Solus has had the weirdest design philosophies. This design seems to be primarily based on the Prime Wars webseries look.

Which is the superior design vs her original look which has this weird HR Geiger Species vibe I’m not fond of.

Solus’ primary claim to fame is being the first female Transformer, and the only one among the Primes, making most of the famous weapons in the general lore, and pry most tragic: getting shot by The Fallen and dying. Her body serving as the basis for the Well of Allsparks, meaning she functionally given birth to all Transformers going forward. There’s a… lot to unpack there, not helped is shows like RiD15 and Cyberverse use her name as an exclamation/cuss in “Sweet Solus Prime!” Unlike the older lore, ONE Solus dies by Sentinel’s actions, absolving Megatronus of the matter, which honestly I kinda prefer. Whether Solus and Megs were romantically involved here is unknown. I think what I’m most surprised by is the movie resisted giving Elita Solus’ Cog, since I guarantee older stuff would’ve done that. Outside of both being girls tho’, Solus does fit Elita’s hard working personality more than Alchemist and Onyx.

Nexus Prime

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda disappointed about this one. His gimmick is he’s the first Combiner, which again contradicts Aligned’s claim Amalgamous is the first converting robot with the first Cog. The ONE design pushes it more into a G1 Blitzwing direction, with vestigial nods to the combiner idea in that he looks to combine from a jet and tank in particular, again mirroring Blitzwing.

Though it also could be a reference to Flywheels.

Nexus Prime’s original designs nevertheless make his Combiner gimmick expressed more clearly.

So it feels like a bit of a downgrade to me. His gun shield looks like it formed from a tank component to me, but that could be a stretch… Maybe he really IS a Duocon in this universe.

Liege Maximo

If there’s one thing Liege is known for, it’s not having a consistent design.

As we’ve gone from whatever this is supposed to be…

To Loki because the MCU was really popular back then.

The new design still uses Marvel Loki as the basis, but dials it back considerably, instead making him more of a generic knight. Notably the inclusion of a sword is interesting, as Aligned states his weapons are poisonous Legion Darts. Maximo’s initial concept painted HIM as the first Decepticon, of which Megatron and the others are descended from, an evil being created by Primus to counterbalance the first Prime via G2. Because Megatronus later inherited a lot of this, he instead was cast as more of a manipulative trickster, still evil, but not to the same extent as his G2 version was. Liege Maximo is also the Prime of false starts, as his G2 and IDW selves were set up as the next major villain but cancellation saw this unresolved. G2 Liege Maximo saw conclusion in what was unofficial fan fiction written by Furman, while IDW Liege Maximo was unceremoniously killed by Shockwave-Onyx in the main book. His only role that saw a proper conclusion was in RiD15, where he was the villain of the day in a chapter book causing problems for the Autobots because he was bored in the Prime Realm and wanted a cheap thrill. RiD is also the only place his Loki like characteristics were played around with. Because the Primes in ONE appear to all be benevolent, it’s not clear if Megatronus or Liege Maximo are still supposed to be the evil ones or not, but the more heroic looking Liege says no to me.

Amalgamous Prime

The mad lads finally made this horrifying thing work.

Pushing it into a four armed ED-209 direction is much better, and frankly going by his more “primitive” build, they can easily make future Shockwave toys into Amalgamamous. This guy’s claim to fame in the modern lore is being the first actual Transformer with the first Cog, which again is contradicted by Nexus and (possibly) Onyx also being able to Transform… Aligned lore says his Cog informed all future robots on Cybertron of the ability to Transform, but ONE streamlines it that ALL the Primes had Cogs and the ability to Transform, making Amalgamous somewhat redundant. Aligned also claims his direct descendants are “Shifters”, Transformers with omni transformation, rather than the standard robot to vehicle.

Aligned didn’t really do much with this concept because you can’t realistically make a toy of such a thing nor is it feasible to have them as reoccurring characters for both expenses and being OP, with TFP Makeshift and RID15 Pseudo being depicted as shadow creatures in their default mode. The Shifters haven’t returned post Aligned so I think it’s an abandoned concept. Future stuff I would assume would instead say Triple Changers and Six Changers are AP’s direct descendants since they’re much easier to work with in toy and fiction. His new Robot Mode makes me think he turns into a tank, but I’m also not sure if his head is his chest or not….

Vector Prime

Aside from his head and colors, the TFONE version is straight up the original Galaxy Force version.

Though his colors evoke one of Vector Prime’s influences, the Marvel G1 Last Autobot.

Vector Prime’s best known role is in Cybertron/Galaxy Force, where as the Primus appointed guardian of time, he joined the Autobots of the present day to find the Cyber Planet Keys to close the Black Hole that threatened the universe, as it was the end of time. Galaxy Force also showed Vector Prime can manipulate time, but it was a drain on his energy, and using it too much would kill him. Notably he used a brief display of this early on to save the kids and Mini-Cons from certain death, but I guess this version of Vector couldn’t do the same to defeat Sentinel & the Quints…

[npdzane]

Hiiiii, could you explain you npd Zane hc to me? As someone who lives with a narcissist, I’m very interested.

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT!!!!!! FOR SO LONG!!!!!!

Tw I think bc ik i will be mentioning sh. But only for a sentence or two.

Mostly just "he's just like me fr". I get how it can sound confusing, especially as a lot of people tend to see Zane as the opposite of what a (stereotypical) narcissist would act like, so I'll try to explain in a way that makes sense.

I'm going to list off traits I see in him, and then what caused it and how it developed over time. Starting with the traits.

- Pixal is 100% his fp. I don't think there's anything to say about it that hasn't been said already. You don't just give a girl half your heart because you "like her a little" without having some issues.

- "Be envious of others/believe others are envious of them". He stated himself that he envied Kai. He also has moments where he does things that make him look better than others ("I personally find old video games to be unchallenging", something about his tone when he was saying "being a nindroid, I wont be able to be digested.", he also just does a lot of random flips and shit when its not needed?? That part may be a stretch though.).

- "Withdrawal from situations where they may fail." In Quest for the Lost Powers, he almost quits out of fear that he won't be able to face the Ice Emperor without breaking down. He also tends to tell someone they shouldn't do something because the chance of failing is too high.

- "Feeling depressed or moody over not reaching perfection/secretly feeling insecure, shameful, and humiliation and fearing being exposed as a failure" In s4, he panics over feeling like he'll always be just a replica of the original Zane. He's desperately begging Pixal to save him from said panic too (which fits into the last trait). He still has similar fears to this day, feeling like being seen as just a robot takes away from his original design. Meaning he failed at fitting in, which was always his goal.

- "Have trouble interacting with others and easily feel sighted" in the entirety of S1-3, he struggles HEAVILY to talk to the others. Granted this does get better throughout the series, but it's getting bad again it seems. He often goes on solo missions or stays in the monastery/Destiny's Bounty. I personally think it's because he feels the others don't see him as vital to the team as they should, or he believes he doesn't need help with anything from anyone (but Pixal). The point is there is some sense of "they don't appreciate me enough".

- "React with rage or contempt to try to belittle others to make them appear superior". Again, bringing back the "I find older video games to be non challenging" quote. As well as the fact that every time Pixal is obviously very annoyed by him, he ignores her and carries on with what he thinks is the right idea (Detective/Pirate Zane obviously was a bad idea, but noooo Zane can't be wrong ever). He doesn't react with rage as much (at least not openly), however he does ignore people when he's doubted.

Ok! That's not as much as I thought! A few other things I wanted to point out, although these are also headcanons:

- His self esteem is TERRIBLE.

- What he believes he doesn't make up for in battle, training, etc, he tries to make up for in smarts and hobbies to impress people.

- He bases his opinions on people based on assumptions. For example, he'll assume everything about a person's personality and hobbies (sometimes even their skill level at those hobbies) based on first impressions. So, say he meets someone like Jay who seems very excited about something he doesn't like, his first assumption will be "this person is most likely annoying and a waste of time because they're trying to be as good as me, that's not egotistical that's just an observation. Everyone complimenting them is simply lying to them.".

- He refuses to believe any of his flaws are his fault, sure he can say he has flaws but they're all someone else's fault. It's never just how he is, it's always because "someone caused me to act like this".

- He switches between "I'm literally amazing I'm so smart I'm funny I'm good at everything" to "Everyone hates me for no reason I dont deserve any of this they're all terrible awful people" and then again to "I'm not good enough yet I need to push myself more so they'll see I'm better than they think". All because of a small bit of criticism. He absolutely cannot handle criticism. ("Why are you doubting me!? I'm a nindroid!" <- when Kai tried helping him, "Not now Pixal!" <- when Pixal told him trying to out-smart Nadakhan was a bad idea)

- I think him and Pixal argue a LOT. It's why I don't openly ship pixane. I believe ever since he found out she was Samurai X his trust issues got way worse (While he is easily trusting, once he does trust someone it's hard to not break it). He constantly uses their "no more secrets" promise agaisnt her, and he thinks that no matter what she or anyone else tells him, the probability of her keeping something from him is high, and he has to stop it (even if it means being extra clingy, possessive, and controling). But the other ninja somehow haven't noticed this from them, they just believe it's normal couple banter.

Sorry, like I said, this headcanon is coming out of my ass. Now I can talk about what caused it.

I see Dr. Julien as a good father to Zane, just not the best one. Like he's at the lower end of average. Not abusive so to speak, just overly critical and slightly neglectful. Zane's a robot, so why can't he do the things Dr. Julien tells him to do well enough! Julien accidentally made him too similar to the (daughter..ftm moment.) son he wanted, so similar that it turns out Zane needed the same amount of attention and support an actual child would've needed, which Julien didn't account for. Zane was used to only receiving the bare minimum of those two by s1. Unfortunately the bare minimum is far from enough. Not to mention the isolation he had to live through living in Birchwood, far from the village.

I think what we see as OG Zane is basically his child/early teen stage. Anything past s4 is late teen/adult, which is when his symptoms started showing up more. The other ninja, especially Wu, noticed he was starting to cling to Pixal much more (especially since she was in his mind). He'd also start spending more time on hobbies and things to impress people. Thinking if they thought his new self was better than his old self, he wouldn't be seen as a failed replica of the original Zane. He thought he could hide the fact it was all just to look better than everyone else, but either Kai or Cole picked up on it (Kai because he acts similarly in that way, and Cole because he's usually the first to notice things wrong with Zane.). When they showed their concern, Zane only saw it as motivation to try harder and them trying to take Pixal from him.

After the Never Realm, his self esteem and worth went to absolute shit. Not only was he abused and manipulated, he was at fault for the deaths of thousands.

But worst of all, he let himself be abused. Or at least that's what he believes (the Quest for the Lost Powers also confirms this!). He blames himself massively. How could he let himself fall for that? Why didn't he fully cover up the cave to stop threats from coming in? Why didn't he kill Vex when he got his memories back? Why did he let Vex control him? Isn't he supposed to be perfect? How could someone who claims to be perfect let himself slip up like that?

He definitely started to push himself more after coming back. In training, in battle, with maintaining the monastery, with cooking for the others, hobbies, you get the point. He'd completely forgotten to be patient with himself while trying to gain control over his powers and his life again. Meaning the next time he tried to use them in training, they were out of control and he ended up failing and hurting himself. But how? How could he not be perfect if he was trying as hard as he could? If he was programmed to be the best, why isn't he?

Pixal was also starting to get annoyed with Zane, he was way too attached and she knew that. It made her fall out of love, if there was any in the first place. Zane refused to let her separate from him though, especially since there was still the idea that she was keeping things from him. He believed Pixal didn't think he was worth caring about, causing him to purposely make himself worse in hopes her pity will keep her with him. He'd already been struggling with self harm, but now it was as a punishment for failing as well as a way to get Pixal not to leave (See why I don't ship them now?). I would love to talk about how I think he s/h but it'd take another post.

Now that Pixal is gone, he's getting way worse mentally. Which is why he seems like he's not working as well as usual (in the tournament). It's not like he's not trying anymore, it's that he hasn't let himself rest enough for his efforts to work.

That was way less than i expected to say (⁠･⁠o⁠･⁠;⁠). Anyway! Yeah!!! It is just mainly headcanons, but if Zane were confirmed to have some kind of personality disorder in a different world where ninjago isn't for tiny kids I wouldn't be surprised!!!

TY TY TY TY FOR ASKING IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO YAP ABOUT THIS. 😭😭😭😭

[amateurasstrologer]

BY NECESSITY #1 SATURN IN PISCES

Hi babies, what’s up? You thought I forgot about you? 

Well, you’re right, I did. But I’m back, bitches - at least for today - to remind you that astrology is still the shit. So, before I ghost again, let’s talk. This week it’s a Saturn in Pisces special. 

Now, before you’re like, “Are you kidding? This bitch comes back after how long to talk about some random ass placement that doesn’t even apply to me? Ugh.” Just take a breath. Saturn is in Pisces. Right now. In the sky. So even if you’re not getting extra fucked like all the people having their Saturn Return, you’re still experiencing the energy and all the shit I’m about to say still applies to you. 

Alright. First, let’s talk Saturn. Saturn is all about form. It’s foundations, it’s structure, it’s hard, it’s the shit you stand on that you forget you’re standing on (until a transit happens and forces you to look down in ice cold terror). It’s important to remember that Saturn deals with all foundations - which foundation (physical, mental, etc.) depends on which sign you’re working with. When Pisces gets involved, you’re dealing with your psychological, emotional foundation.

Next, Pisces. Pisces is about all dissolution. Pisces is last in line for a reason. All the shit you absorbed during your little life cycle - collective beliefs and ideals, definitions of success, definitions of failure, the shit your parents believed, the shit their parents believed, etc. - someone needs to dissolve all that loud biz (cue Pisces) so you can get back in touch with the real true you (cue Aries). Pisces is on that transcendental shit - it’s here to elevate you, it’s fucking your foundations up in a beautifully painful liquidation process, as in we’re closing everything has got to go this business is over forever goodbye we’re done. 

When you put these two together and you get a fucking shit show. Hardening and dissolving? Opposites. Pisces is like “yes I’m here to love you forget you ever had a structure all of this is meaningless it’s time blend in the timeless space of forgiveness we’ll feel it all and understand the origin of life the mystery of life heart eyes” and Saturn is like “Look at your life! Build something! Be accountable! These are your limits - learn them! Wake up! You dropped your spine! Go pick it up! But also good luck bending over to pick it up because you don’t have a spine! Ha!” 

It doesn’t take eyes to see that Saturn is not comfy in Pisces. And it’s true, Pisces and Saturn do bring very different shit to the party. But relationships are raw materials, babies, it’s what you make with them that matters.

Saturn and Pisces, together, create an opportunity for you to give your psychological, emotional foundation a fucking upgrade. Pisces helps you dissolve the fake ass bull shit persona you’ve been passing off as a self, and Saturn helps you reform into a person who, you know, you’re actually happy to be - a person with a psychological foundation based on inner-truth, not on societal/cultural/ancestral rules and regulations. Bitch, you’re a treasure! You’re a beautiful unique person, not a robot! If you wanted to be all copy paste should have reincarnated as a keyboard smh. Wake up.

Saturn in Pisces is a call to transform yourself on a spiritual level. The deepest level. (Deeper than you Scorpio sorry.) This isn’t some find a new job, find a new hobby bull shit. This is deep unconscious reconditioning. This is scary, triggering shit. You thought Pisces was out here just blending in the gooey goodness of love? Please. Think about what dissolution actually means. You want to be psychologically free? You want to scrub your karma? Get in touch with your essence? Lol. Girl. Get ready. This transformation process is a gnarly, confusing, and, most importantly, it takes time (thanks, Saturn). Just can’t rush it. 

Alright, before you get too scared to continue, let me say it one more time for the people in the back: When Saturn is in Pisces, the unconscious, emotional (Pisces) foundation (Saturn) of your life stops being hidden. Material that was collecting dust (and power) in your unconscious (Pisces) is suddenly visible (Saturn). Surprise, bitch! Time to take a look.

Okay. Now, what happens when you’re confronted with your very own subconscious (Pisces) scaffolding (Saturn)? Well, two options: 

(1) You lose perspective and collapse the transformation process before it has time to do its thing, dissolving your sense of self (Pisces) and hardening around rigid beliefs (Saturn) to bring yourself back to a superficial sense of safety, making your life temporarily more stable and comfy but ten million times harder to confront your psychological foundation at the next opportunity.

(2) You stay focused on the big picture and face your fears, dissolving the toxic beliefs you were unconsciously building your life on (Pisces) and reforming your identity (Saturn) into something real and true, making your life temporarily more lonely and difficult but ten million times easier to relate to yourself and others forever and ever amen.

“Uh wtf who would pick option one?” You, me, anyone allowing themselves to actually feel the crippling existential dread of having to face the unknown (Pisces) or anyone who can’t bear the thought of looking critically at their inherited beliefs (Saturn). It’s not an opportunity for the faint of heart. Or for anyone who doesn’t have, at the very least, one friend. And not some moralizing “forgiveness heals all wounds hang in there” type of friend - I’m talking some real ass, truth staring ass, love you anyways bitch.

So, why did I return from the underworld to tell you this shit now? Because Saturn is only halfway through it’s uncomfortable stay on the Pisces commune. Listen - if you’re starting to feel crazy, like (1) “I swear some shit must be up I just cannot catch a break from feeling like living shit” and (2) “why does the same shit continue to happen to me over and over again like fuck I thought I got over this shit in 1933” it’s because (1) you’re being called to transform and transformation is an active process time to stop being dragged around use you legs and (2) part of this particular transformation process is acknowledging that you did not leave any shit in 1933 and you’ve actually been dragging that ugly shit around in your unconscious and it’s secretly been controlling every decision you’ve made since then. Sorry.

“Ugh, can I just close my eyes and open them when this whack ass transit is over?” Sure. They’re your eyes, babe. But, just between you and me, why would you want to do that? This is a wonderfully unique time to face the truth (Saturn) and give yourself compassion and grace (Pisces), so that you can, oh, I don’t know, turn this car around before you and your unconscious Thelma and Louise yourselves. For a limited time only - the lights are on! There is no better time to look at this shit. The cosmic support is here. Right now. Let these lunar lovelies carry you through. 

The key to navigating this transit successfully (and consciously), is to pay attention to what you’re dissolving, and what you’re hardening around. Be suspicious about the shit you take for granted emotionally - investigate that foundation - ask yourself: Where did this shit even come from? Is this the psychological foundation I want to perpetuate? Don’t keep trying to wrap yourself back up in that shed skin, babies, it’s not a good look. Embrace the rawness.

The energies are active, the pressure is there, but if you open yourself to working with the energy of the times instead of just closing your eyes and hoping for the best, you can completely transform your life over the next 12 months. No joke. No exaggeration.

Until we meet again, bitches, happy charting.

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY 

[dragon-creates]

Funnybunny Week 2025

Prompt: Fight

AU: Murder Drones AU by @croissantberry @funnybreadd and me!

AO3

Jax tapped his fingers against his arms, both of them crossed over his chest as he awkwardly waited for Pomni’s outside her and her father’s home. She had gotten into another fight with her dad - with Caine hiding more information about Pomni’s mother again.

Eventually Pomni shoved the door open and slammed it behind her, her eyes tired and frustrated. “So…how did he fry your circuits this time?” Jax asked.

Pomni averted her gaze from him, hugging herself, “...it was the toy she gave me before she died. I thought I lost it but…Caine was hiding it from me. Because it hurt him to see it!” Pomni scoffed, rubbing a non-existent tear away, “It doesn’t matter if I needed it for comfort as a kid, his feelings matter more! It’s not like he buried himself in his work and ignored his only child while she was grieving! Oh wait! He did!”

Jax pursed his lips, he wasn’t great at comforting others - his only purpose was to kill after all. But Pomni was a special little robot, tying his internal wires into many knots, “Pomni…”

“Just…just leave me be,” Pomni looked up at him, pleadingly.

Jax nodded, she needed her space, “Okay.”

Part of him wanted to stop her, but it was best to let her walk away for now. He hated seeing her hurt…because it annoyed him of course! Not because he felt sorry for her. No…definitely not that. 

.

.

.

“JAX!”

The drone groaned when hearing the familiar voice, “Need anything Rags?”

The redheaded robot grunted at his tone, “Your pet’s gone loose! She’s tearing our base apart!”

Now this was new to Jax, Pomni wasn’t usually a ‘destroy first talk later’ kind of girl, “Did you see anything wrong with her?”

“I don’t know!” Ragatha suddenly paused. “Oh no.”

Jax raised a concerned brow, “‘Oh no’ what?!”

“Her eyes,” Ragatha paled. “They were yellow.”

Jax froze. The only time Pomni’s eyes were yellow was during the cabin trip…where she killed whoever was in her path.

Jax pushed past Ragatha, spreading his wings as he zoomed back to their base. There he could see Pomni, settled on top as she gnawed on the head of a deceased drone - like a damn animal.

“Heyyyy Pomni,” he slowly approached her, the female robot cocked her head in his direction. “How about we put down the dead remains and clean up this mess you made, yeah?”

A distorted giggle left her throat, throwing the head away and beelining for him. Jax didn’t get a moment to prepare himself when she body-slammed herself into him, shoving him into the ground, “What’s wrong Jax? I thought you out of everyone would appreciate a little blood and gore from time to time.”

Jax struggled underneath her, she had gotten stronger overtime, “First of all, we don’t have blood hon, we’re robots. And second, I’m not gonna let you do something you’ll regret when you’re lucid.”

“Hmm, fine,” she hummed. Her tail rose above him, the feral mouth on the end of it grinning madly at him. Like a wolf ready to pounce.

Jax made a disgruntled noise, wrapping a leg around Pomni’s waist and pulled her off him. He stood quickly, flapping his wings as he hovered into the air, “Come on Pomni, you gotta snap out of it! Don’t let your dad make you go crazy!”

Now that got Pomni’s attention, but not for the reasons Jax hoped for, “Caine? Hehe. I’m sure he’ll make a good meal. After all, he never cared for me. So why should I care for him?”

Her own wings spread, turning to fly to the dorms. Jax had to act fast, bringing out his gun from his arm and firing it towards an abandoned building. He watched as the rubble fell in front of Pomni, blocking her path. She turned to him again, her smile unfeeling and heartless, “Don’t get in my way Jax, I have no problem with getting rid of pests.”

“I have years of experience hon,” Jax grinned, determined. “You got nothing on me.”

Something flickered in her eyes, “We’ll see.”

Her hand flicked, the familiar triangle symbol from her hand appearing as it wrapped around Jax’s waist, throwing him into another building. Jax squeezed his eyes shut when he was thrown into the glass, shattering around him when he landed on the floor. Okay, that hurt.  But it wasn’t his first rodeo.

He flew back out again, circling Pomni and dodging her attacks. Whatever he did, he couldn’t hurt her. What was it that worked last time she was like this…wait, he got it. But it was definitely gonna sting. 

He fired his gun into the sky, creating a distraction. Pomni’s eyes darted up briefly, that was all he needed. He flew towards her, wrapping her arms around her tight. When she tried to use her symbol again, his gun switched to a blade and blocked the attack before it could happen. Her tail reached for his - here it goes. 

Jax brought his arm up, letting her stab him with his own tail. Yup, that stung. But it did the trick. Pomni’s eyes flashed from yellow back to its regular red and blue at the realization of what she did, “Jax?!”

Her facial features glitched for a moment, her body going limp. Jax was quick to catch her, holding her bridal style, safe and secure. He stuck his hand into his mouth, letting it heal quicker as she came to. “Hey sleeping beauty, feeling better?”

“Ugh, no, whasss happenin?” Pomni blinked, slurring her words.

“Oh you know, just a little chaos and destruction,” Jax told her. “You kinda had a breakdown thanks to your dad.”

“I’m sssssorry,” Pomni replied apologetically and sad. She looked like a kicked puppy.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Jax smiled down at her. “It could’ve been worse.”

It didn’t seem to make her feel better. Jax ran a comforting hand through her hair, bringing her head forward to rest on his shoulder, “How about we just heat up some oil and take a nap, how does that sound?”

“Will you hold me?” Pomni asked innocently.

Jax’s vitals sped up, if he could blush he would be doing just that, “Uh, yeah hon. If you want me to.”

“Thanksss,” Pomni snuggled in closer to him. “I’m sorry again.” 

His metaphorical heart broke when he heard her sniffle, “Hey now, it’ll be fine. Soon enough this’ll be something we’ll laugh about in the future. You’ll be alright.”

Pomni sniffed, “Okay.”

He watched as her breathing evened out, slouching against him as sleep took over her. Jax flew off back to the dorms, Pomni fast asleep in his arms. He really had it bad for this girl.  

[nobodysdaydreams]

Explaining fandoms I’m not in, but I have seen on my dash from the mutuals (to the best of my knowledge based on their posts):

Why? Because I thought it would be fun and entertaining and I hope I’m not wrong.

The Magnus Archives (TMA)- a group of people document creepy and supernatural events while they slowly one by one discover either that they are the monsters/possessed by them, or that they are being taken in by the monsters, or that their coworkers are the monsters, or that they themselves are possibly friends with or dating the monsters, or that they have been working for the monsters (or bad guys) the entire time. Many of the villains seem to be demented or possessed life sized toys and clowns or eyeballs. This podcast has so many episodes, and I see so many posts about it, but these seem to be the common themes.

Miraculous Ladybug- actually haven’t seen this one on my dash in a long time, but when I first did, despite appearing like a straightforward kids fandom, the shipping discourse confused the heck out of me. But if I have this right, based on the posts from my younger followers, two teenagers are animal themed superheroes who are dating each other and also have crushes on each other, but they don’t know they are dating each other, because they don’t know each others secret identities, because… okay, I still honestly have no idea why. There are ~5K posts about this apparently very central and specific plot line, but not one explains why they don’t just tell each other who they are??? Anything for the plot, I guess. Apparently this has been going on for a long time to the point where even the show’s target audience of children is confused as to how these teenagers and grown adults haven’t put the pieces together as to who everyone’s secret identity is.

Keeper of the Lost Cities (KOTLC)- there’s a girl named Sophie. She is an elf in a love triangle with Keefe and some other guy (I think his name is Fritz). Keefe’s parents are terrible, especially his mom. Sophie has horse DNA (I don’t know if that post was a joke or not sorry if that’s wrong). There’s an elf with fire powers. Elves read minds. There’s a group called the black swan who are the good guys, I think. Also I think the elves and humans are at war. I know Keefe’s parents are trash, does Sophie have parents? From what I can tell, she grows up believing she’s a human but then surprise! She’s an elf and the chosen one, and elves are possibly immortal? Wait, maybe Sophie’s a half elf. Is that a thing?

Spy x Family - two people are fake dating each other for spy reasons but eventually fall in love for real. The twist is, they each think the other is a normal civilian who doesn’t know about the fake relationship (which is kinda messed up to make someone fall in love with you for a fake cover but if they’re also doing the same to you that’s karma I guess) but I think it might end up ok, because they fall in love for real (Aw) but possibly also not okay, because I also think it might be revealed that they’ve been working for enemy sides this whole time (drama). Also the adopted daughter is a mind reader who knows everything but chooses to keep what she knows secret for the plot. Respect. And I recently saw something about the family having a super powered dog? Is he real?

The Murderbot Diaries - a bunch of robots are created for one purpose: murder. But when their murder programming goes haywire, they discover that they might have more in common with the humans they’ve been assigned to kill than they originally thought. Or that they have more humanity inside themselves than they thought… or maybe that the people who created them have more evil intentions than… well in hindsight, “the people who build the murder robots are evil!” seems like an obvious plot twist, but maybe they’re more morally complex or had decent intentions and just never intended for it to go this far… or maybe the robots get hacked or decide maybe they don’t want to be murder bots anymore which brings us back to free will. Interesting philosophical questions, but I think the robots might be getting into some wacky shenanigans as well. Also they apparently have diaries. I get that a diary is just like… a log of what they’re doing, but that won’t stop me from imaging a big scary robot with a little pink glitter pen writing “Dear Diary, I killed three people today. I still see their faces when I try to power off at night. When I go into sleep mode, I dream of their faces. I begin to wonder things, like whether they had families, dreams, or ambitions. I also wonder what they felt in their final moments. I fear this means I am developing a conscience and desire to turn against my programming and the creators. But probably nothing a little update and restart can’t fix. I’ll keep you updated, dairy. XOXO, Murderbot 💕” So. How did I do? Scale of 1-10, with 10 being “you nailed it!” and 1 being “None of this is remotely close. What posts have you been looking at?”

[cloroxcasserole]

my thoughts about episode 4 yayyy

but it’s just me rambling about Jax for half of it. I love him 💞💞

Okay SO I do wonder if the tennis scene at the beginning is foreshadowing or smth. In ‘POMNI WAKE UP TIME TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE!” there was that one stadium looking asset (at least to me) and episode four was presumably the last one teased in that short. Maybe episode 5 was actually the one with that asset in it, or maybe it was the one used for the kinger rodeo picture and I’m just reading way too far into it. Anyway I think it’s really nice how they all interacted in the beginning. Even if we have reasonable suspicion that Ragatha secretly doesn’t really like her fellow circus members, I like how Ragatha sticks up for gangle. And also yells at Jax like you go girl! The Zooble and gangle interaction was also really nice, even though it ultimately ended bad Zooble still tried to help her and neither of them were mad when that happened. They were just like “oh, that didn’t work! Oh well!” And moved on and I just think that’s cute bc even though gangle could so easily blame Zooble for all that happened with the new mask, she didn’t. This episode was different in a sense where the mundane setting looped around to being interesting because of how much they just let it be normal, most of them just treated it like a normal job. Aside from Jax and Ragatha. And gangle in a way.

Jax didn’t really treat it like a normal job because 1. Gangle was the manager 2. It isn’t to him. Because he’s like the #2 “this is all fake as fuck”-er right behind Zooble who’s not on this list because they weren’t being rude about it. Gangle didn’t really and is in the Jax yapping section because it’s related to him and that’s because. You don’t try to hypnotize your employees. That’d be like illegal maybe. Knowing America nowadays it probably isn’t 😿

Anyway haha about that scene. Favorite scene 10/10 mentally ill over it. Why? Short answer: Jax suffers

Long answer:

When did gangle record that? Did Caine have her do it?

if so, Caine dude what were you doing?

that reminds me of how Zooble said that Caine is only nice to the humans because he likes them. Jax hasn’t really given him much of a reason to like him so maybe Caine did this as that “punishment” gangle was talking about for throwing Ragatha in the deep fryer or as I just mentioned, a punishment in general.

OR gangle just really hates Jax which I mean okay?? I have friends that have acted exactly like him what is this ❌❌. In all seriousness gangles sensitive so I actually do understand why she hates him so much, so her just deciding to do that wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility

that one tentacle drawing based off this scene

I like how the “reevaluation” kind of actually did something. He’s a little nicer (if you squint), his irises stay smaller for the rest of the episode which is an obvious sign of distress, and they only get bigger when he walks out of the building. Which is also when he’s not near anybody. So ‘safe’ maybe.

also the “wait wait nobody can see this right?” so obviously means he doesn’t want to be seen vulnerable which ID SAY that being suspended in the air by a bunch of robotic hands would be pretty vulnerable. A lot of people have pointed this out but I don’t care honestly

crazy that he just shut the fuck up when the thing started flashing like. Was he /sta hypnotized by it? Ik I just talked about that but again I lowkey don’t care

and then his smile just. Goes away when he walks out of the building?? The? Crack? In his facade??

everyone’s facading out in this episode. Gangle is. Ragatha is. And Jax is. Proof they’re the main focus of this episode and that likely means we’re also gonna get a little bit more Jax content in the next episode compared to this one. If not at least we get Jax content at all because I’m very mentally ill over him okay I’m done.

JUST KIDDING I also wanna say real quick that gangle LITERALLY masking and then jumping in front of a truck when she finally could stop is like. We love a mentally ill queen! Please get therapy and a hug though 💞

I’d talk about that more I’m tired thougg

[freezing-kaiju]

IT'S TIME FOR THE NEW 12 EPISODE POLL!!!!! WE BEGIN, WE ENTER, WE LOOK ALIVE! E LOOK TO THE PAST! You voted for familiar creators and friend recs i the past, and the friend recs tend towards longer shows so those'll be for when Dirty Pair's done, but for now, let's go with Familiar Creators!!!! SO!!!

NINE! CHOICES!

Canaan, a TYPE-MOON and Kinoko Nasu story as well as a returnee to the poll. A yuri story involving a Middle Eastern mercenary’s quest for revenge and simultaneous effort to protect her beloved friend, a photographer investigating various things in Shanghai.

Akudama Drive, by Too Kyo Games and Kazutaka Kodaka, of Danganronpa fame. A fake crime-doer and a bunch of very real crimers do One Last Big Heist in the cyberpunk future while being hunted down by the government. Previous poll near-winner, I’ve heard it’s fun, tragic, and possibly even based. Comes most highly recommended of these shows.

Chaos Dragon: Sekiryuu Seneki, by Urobuchi, Nasu, the Durarara guy, one of Kamen Rider Blade’s two writers Shou Aikawa, and two of their friends. It’s a TTRPG adventure! where they each play only one character! God, I NEED to see a show where Gen Urobuchi writes ONLY ONE character! Ultimately it’s a story about a small kingdom’s king trying to stop two larger countries from destroying his smaller one, which feels interesting bc it’s rare to get any TTRPG campaign where there is A Protagonist...

Girls’ Last Tour, source material by the shimeji simulation author, Tsukumizu. Cozy adventures through an apocalyptic dying world. I don’t do well with apocalyptic settings, but I love Shimeji Simulation a lot and I’ve heard so many good things about this one that I wanna give it a shot.

Mermaid Forest, by Rumiko Takahashi, of Ranma 1/2 and Urusei Yatsura. Two immortals who ate mermaids travel to find another mermaid in the hopes they can make them mortal once more. One of those classic kinda tales, and I really wanna see a rumic story that’s.....not 150 eps long...

Magical☆Shopping Arcade Abenobashi BY Hideaki Anno, of Shin Kamen Rider, Shin Godzilla, and Shin Ultraman. What if you were isekaied but it was just into a mall. A wacky hyperdimensional mall. The tone seems extremely lolrandomxd, and it’s one of Anno’s few 12 ep works.

RErideD: Derrida, who leaps through time, character designs by Yoshitoshi ABe of serial experiments lain and Haibane Renmei fame. Guy who made robots gets frozen and wakes up to a robot war, oh fuck. Oh fuck, he’s supposed to protect his best friend’s daughter! AAAAAAAA! Disaster!!! I’m not sure whether he leaps through time any more than once. though.

Katanagatari, by NISIOISIN, creator of Bakemonogatari and Medaka Box. What if a swordless swordsman teamed up with an ambitious shogunate villainess to fulfill her scheme of stealing 12 legendary swords. One of them quality straights kinda shows NisioisiN loves making, seems to have a fun power system that I wanna experience. One of the ones I’ve seen around on tumblr that made me wanna get into liveblogging.

Kino’s Journey, scripted by Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 and Perfect Blue writer Murai Sadayuki, a writer I really think deserves more credit. Does crazy good work in adaptations. Nonbinary adventurer and talking bike go through different parables, functioning as observers of different forms of society and different ways of life.

[quibbs126]

So this morning I’ve been attempting to draw this megop fankid, aka Palisade

I think I’ve mostly been thinking about her because of my post last night complaining about not being able to use the name Nova, but then getting the idea for the name Palisade. And then my brain’s been trying to work with those ideas

Honestly I think the main reason I have ideas for her is the fact that she’s named after a pre-existing character, and her design and personality is somewhat based on that character (Palisade from Anodyne 2)

It’s why she’s a girl at all and also why she’s strong and has shield things

But yeah, I had ideas, so I attempted to at least get some general ideas out on a canvas, which is what you see here

Honestly my biggest issue right now is that she’s not tied to any continuity, and thus I have no concrete bases for her design outside of general shared features between iterations of Megatron and Optimus

I do think I subconsciously was trying to incorporate Transformers Prime things in there, like her sharper plating and the things under her eyes. But I don’t really want her to be in TFP, I’m divided on how I see megop there. You can sell me on pre-breakup them and if a fic has an interesting enough premise you might get me interested, but as is, as close to canon as you can, I don’t like it

Another large issue is that I have absolutely no clue what her alt mode should be, only general ideas as to what I want on her robot mode, like big things on her arms that act like shields and also weapons to beat you to death with

But I tried with what I could, which mostly consisted of trying to figure out her head

Like Overdrive, she’s very much a work in progress, I just felt like sharing her as well

But unlike Overdrive, I actually have some ideas on her character at this stage. We’ll get back to design things later

So basically I’m thinking that Palisade here is a rather large and bulky bot, something she gets from Megatron’s side. However, she’s far more about defense than offense, being very durable and using herself as a shield for others. She’s an absolute tank in the figurative sense, probably not the literal sense. She’s also supposed to have things on the side of her arms that as stated, turn into shields (possibly with energy extensions to make them bigger) and can probably combine into one big one if need be. But also they can turn into weapons and/or just on their own are very heavy and bulky, and are effective bludgeoning tools to beat the crap out of you with. And she is not above violence, so that is a threat

In another life, she probably would have made it big as a gladiator

But I imagine she tends to work more in rescue missions than fighting, wanting to help people and being physically strong enough to save them. I think she’d be neutral, but if she had to pick a side it’d probably be Autobot

Should probably be a good time to mention I don’t really know her backstory either, at least when it comes to her parents. I might incorporate the “born right after the breakup and yeeted as soon as possible” backstory I made up prior into her, but I’m not sure. Realistically though it’s either that or she’s born after the war. Still not sure though, I’m only imagining her as an adult

Personality wise, all I can really say is that in my head she’s very cheery and friendly. She probably should have more to her than that, and she probably will, I just haven’t figured out what yet. More depth would probably come from her relationship with her parents, but again, I haven’t really figured out the circumstances there yet

I think that’s about all I have figured out on her character, now to complain about the design process

Trying to combine Optimus and Megatron’s helms is a nightmare, I tell you. I’ve tried it before, and I really don’t know how to do it. Though I think in some cases it’s a problem of me not wanting to change an idea I had, despite it not working. The biggest offender of this being trying to incorporate antenna

But yeah, there’s probably ways, especially with the designs of other characters; like I think maybe g1 Dion’s helm could be a good mix of the two, I just refuse to find them or give up on what I want

But yeah, I tried to combine Megatron’s bottom helm things with Optimus’ antenna, and they never work right together. Because the antenna have to be on those circles, which need to be outermost, but the bottom of Megatron’s helm also needs to be outermost, with maybe some exceptions. So like, it never looks right, but I really wanted it here

The top triangle thing on her helm is also a feature I lifted from Anodyne 2 Palisade. To me it’s a thinner plate, more decoration than bulk, and while I’m still trying to figure out exactly how it works, I like how it looks

The leftmost two helm designs you see here are my favorites, I want her to have the antenna and the bottom things, but I just don’t know how to make them work together

I did come up with a semi solution though, while scrolling through my refs. Basically it was to combine the bottom helm with Optimus’ side horn things, and make them tall so they look sort of like antenna. It also looks similar to Earthspark Megatron’s design

I think it works and isn’t as much confusion for me on anatomy, but if I could make the antenna-helm combo work, I would rather do that

Also I’m still not sure how her helm outside of the red bits work. You might be able to tell they’re just kind of existing as is

But moving on from that tirade, I’ve had some ideas for color combos of the two floating around for a while, the main one I wanted to try a being grey and red combo

Sure she might have turned out looking more like black and red here, but maybe with her full design the grey can come out more. I’d just need to figure out an alt mode for her

She also ended up with blue eyes simply because I liked the color alongside the rest of hers. I tried red and yellow but I think I just liked blue best

Also there’s the little diamond thing at the top of her triangle. I think I just added that for extra decoration, but it does kind of evoke Optimus’ head thing, so it works

And yeah, I think that’s all on her right now. I just wanted to share this as well. Should probably work more on her, but I don’t know too much how to further her outside of more tweaking to her head