#based on a chat discussion lmao

[jazzy-art-time]

Local man taken out by a single Modelo

[gu6chan]

work related question does anyone have any fun anime for likely 12-14 year olds that to their ulta-conservative conspiracy theory parents would have no objectionable content whatsoever that's not like . pokemon. i live in the most conservative area in michigan btw /hj

[alwaysshallow]

what would happen if simon and higher!ranked reader ran into each other outside of base?? like when they're not on deployment :33

- 🩰

higher!ranked reader wouldn't really notice simon at first?? i mean, you're focused on getting groceries, tired asf after work and probably tired at the thought of coming home lmao. things with your husband aren't well, you honestly would prefer to live somewhere else, but things are what they are right now. there's not really a way to get out from this marriage just yet.

simon? oh come on, he has his eyes on you since the moment he spot you.

he actually looks for a good moment to chat with you; and this one happens when he "accidentally" bumps with his cart into yours.

you want to snap at whoever it was that decided it's gonna be funny, but the moment you see that blonde lieutenant of yours, you can't help but roll your eyes. "classy, riley," you say, backing off. you go to the vegetables section and he follows you like an obedient dog he is.

"just wanted to say hello." he shrugs. on his lips is his usual smirk, amused by your annoyance. he thinks it's cute you're pouting over something so small.

"off work and you want to say hello? i wouldn't accuse you of that," you huff, smiling with the corner of your lips.

"world is full of surprises." another shrug. "maybe my colonel," he emphasises those two last words, complacency pouring all over him, when he sees how you shiver at those words, "wants some help with making dinner."

he's around the whole time you're actually in the grocery shop. talking shit about his favorite meal, how to prep them and how nutritious they are—even for your kid!

you talk something about making something "yummy" for your husband too, which he completely ignores—till the point you're saying something about his allergy. this could be his chance to poison your husband completely accidentally but is it worth it though.....

he discusses it with kyle later, to be completely laughed at, until garrick realizes that, in fact, ghost wasn't joking about coming to your dinner and killing your husband, so he would have you just to himself:/

[writinandcrying]

TMNT HEADCANON / how the turtles text

A lot can be said from how someone express themselves through texting, so this is just some crack / light headcanons !

Not really based on a single version per say, more that turtles have been deprived of social interaction for the majority of their life and I think texting them would be an very interesting experience lol

Idea based on @avery73 last random turtle post (thanks for being one of our strongest soldiers and writing wonderful pieces 🫡) English is not my first language and I didn’t proofread this, if there is any grammatical erros pls don’t hesitate to tell me!

Mikey

🎢 Single texts

🎢 Just like this

🎢 Loads of it

🎢 You got 60 new messages

🎢 in the past 2 minutes

🎢 Loads of gifs too

🎢 And voice memos

🎢Oh look

🎢6 personality tests links

🎢What do you mean you won’t do it

🎢He needs to know what kind of cupcake you are!!!!

🎢 And music recs

🎢 Your phone won’t stop vibrating

🎢 for the next weeks

🎢 After you meet him (Honestly really annoying unless you have a crush on him)

🎢 For the latinos/latinas; if he EVER finds out about WhatsApp and the stickers. Oh you are so done. If you have an older phone that shit WILL blow up / malfunction for SURE

🎢 uses TONS OF EMOJIS !!!!! 😍😍😝🤪😋🤩AND CAPS AS WELL!!! 🥳😽✌️👅🗣️

🎢Mikey live reaction when you ask if he’s upset that you asked him to tone it down a notch with the texting on a busy day:

🎢 Will lowkey tone it down with the emojis when he finds out some ppl find it cringe, but with his angels cakes ???????? 🫵 YOU BET 🗣️ HE WILL SHOW YOU WITH IT 💋🫦💅🏻🤳🏼💃🏻🕺🏽🙈🦋🌺🧡🌚🌻🔥💥🌟

🎢Will accidentally send you some random ass emoji that wasn’t supposed to be on the context of the text, also the autocorrect is def not his friend

Mikey : how’s it going baby gorila

Mikey: babygirl*

Mikey:

Mikey: I’m sorry

🎢 adds emojis to very contacts in his t-phone:

Leo: Leader of the pack 🐺 🐢 🫡

Donnie: Eistein 📚🧬⚗️ (Raph also shares this name on his t-cell)

Raph: Murderous teddy bear 🧸 🧨

Splinter: Mafia Boss 🪤 (no one knows about this name tho)

April: Chanel N.6 ���(or World of Apes 🦧 lmao)

Casey: New York Hockey League 🏒

Vern: Some dude (adds 🦅 so he knows it’s Vern and not “some random dude”)

Y/n: angelcakes pookie wookie baby boo boo love of my life !!!!!! 😍🥰👀🧚🏻‍♂️

🎢Mikey live reaction when Raph yells at him to stop flooding the chat, followed by mikey texting him “make me” (they are sitting next to each other):

Donnie

🔭Huge blocks of it in the speed of light. many topics, many questions and also explanations at just one sitting

🔭But won’t hold back on a smart ass short cut response for one his brothers (literally has the sharpest tongue)

🔭Will hardly uses emojis, only when it’s a single text to express an emotion (most current used emojis: 🤓when he does something impressive 💜: for y/n 🙄: when venting about something annoying Leo / Mikey / Raph did)

🔭Will want to discuss random ass problems he has encountered in his projects, in forums online, specially if you ever show interest in debating / doesnt hold back into showing your strong opinions

🔭 Has named their brothers as “Failed Lab Experiments” and managed to color code their messages (has the only t-phone that has this feature)

🔭Donnie creating the most unique and smartass way to charge his phone just cuz he can:

🔭Deadass his reaction when texting his crush 👀:

🔭 Has modified Mikey’s phone so he doesn’t have access to emojis for a whole week after his baby brother decided to spam him “out of no where” (after Donnie won consecutively 10 Mario Kart matches AND ate the last 2 slices of cold pizza)

🔭Result: mikey spammed EVEN MORE and only spoke to EVERYONE by Japanese emojis. Leo and Raph begged demanded that donnie install his emojis back cuz they were DONE with the whole situation

Failed lab experiment N.4: ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ" °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (♡´౪`♡)

Failed lab experiment N.1: Stop.

Failed lab experiment N.4: ┬┴┬┴┤ᵒᵏ (･_├┬┴┬┴ Failed lab experiment N.4: (;﹏;)

Failed lab experiment N.2: You stupid IDIOT Failed lab experiment N.2: look what you've done now he’s sad

🔭 Donnie also has to deal with his brothers thinking he is their personal Google (he will always answer their questions, even out of spite):

Failed lab experiment N.4: Donnie what’s a Cochlear implant

Successful lab experiment: A small, complex electronic device that can help to provide a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard-of-hearing. The implant consists of an external portion that sits behind the ear and a second portion that is surgically placed under the skin.

Failed lab experiment N.4: :0 yikes

Failed lab experiment N.4: Okay thanks!!!!

Successful lab experiment: Stop asking me stuff when you can just Google it.

Failed lab experiment N.4: But I like talking to you 🙀😔

Failed lab experiment N.4: You are my favorite turtle Siri!!! 😉

Successful lab experiment: I’d prefer if I wasn’t... Also, why are you curious about cochlear implants?

Successful lab experiment: Mikey?

Successful lab experiment: Mikey!!!!!

(He still doesn’t know why)

Raph

🥊 Barely uses emojis. Lowkey barely texts? doesn't see the appeal to it, rather prefer to hang out with you 1 on 1 than being far away from you (will never ever admit to it. maybe after 3 years in a relationship)

🥊as a friend: he wont be the one spiking a conversation, but might keep going if he's truly bored (this is prone to happen during daylight / evening when they still can't go out) but will probably be the one to ask to hang out when he needs an outlet and such 🥊*sees messages* eh i'll reply later *completely forgets about it*

🥊 will effortlessly take the most breath-taking pictures of new york during patrol and send it to you 🥊 if you are already his s/o / someone he trusts: will most likely text you to ask about stuff (if you need anything or something he needs from topside) or to diss / vent / gossip about his brothers 🥊 will send embarrassing pictures of his brothers to you cuz he can't deal with that shit alone lmao

🥊 will either be pretty clueless with the most random ass stuff or out of propose just to tease you: y/n: jniasunoakpfa raph: what was that y/n: keyboard smash? raph: how do i do that y/n: just press anything raph: 7 🥊 Raph Live reaction as soon as he realizes he has feelings for you:

🥊 Also Raph Live reaction when he comes to terms with this feelings and has an excuse to ignore Leo (even if he doesnt like texting) just bc he can ignore Leo as he pleases:

Leo

🎏 Perfect texts 🎏 looks like an email/letter sometimes 🎏 to most people: 1 message with divided topics. pretty direct 🎏 when he can't reply right away: "Hello. I'm happy you wrote to me. I try to reply promptly but currently I'm not available at the moment-" Like omg bro RELAX. 🎏 to his s/o: 70% direct, the other 30% likes to send little reminders, either with songs or pretty things she has seen during a patrol with a "thinking of you" message. lowkey romantic when he doesn't even mean to be, def shows how thoughtful he is 🎏 prefers to call you rather than texting. especially if you are dating/has a crush on you he might not even realize why he likes calling you so much, until it hits like a brick that he just wants to hear your voice 🎏Leo when he calls you and doesn't know when to "intervene" / his time to talk back (god forbid he's unpolite and interrupts you):

lowkey him listening to April vent about smth dumb shit Casey did /any human friend venting and he doesnt know how to react lmao 🎏Just like Donnie, has favorite emojis and will only use it in specific situations (this will take time for it to happen, like after years Donnie first invented the t-phone and finally relized he didn't had to be so formal when texting): 🐢 when talking about team work or his brothers / 🪷 for meditating or mindfulness (thinks its peaceful) / 💙 for his boo and his boo only / 😏 only in a relationship, especially when he's feeling scipy (extremely rare for it to happen over text tho)

——————————————————————————

Group chat (more than one reaction)

💚 catching social cues irl can be hard, you are telling me there are hidden social cues in texting too??

💚 “Nah shut up” group, doesn’t care much about it and won’t change their ways: Leo, Raph

💚 Will research about it, will talk to every single human he knows (yes. you. Vern. Casey and April) Needs to know the social cues. NOW: lmao try to guess

💚 Also needs to know, but for meme reasons, he has to say up to date w the terminology/ slangs: another hard guess /j

💚 Oh btw, Donnie totally uses /j /Tw /srs terminology WHILE he texts fast AND huge text blocks. none of his brothers know how he does it

💚Will over use fresh lingo he has learned overhearing humans on patrol, shows, from his humans friends to the point it’s almost unbearable: Mikey 💚Live reaction of Raph and Leo trying to understand when Mikey or Donnie spamming the group chat with their extremely recent memes or hyperfixations:

💚the chat WILL be flooded with things related to their favorite basketball teams, show they want to see or dumbass pictures of their daily lifes, example: Mikey: *has sent an selfie*

Mikey: you know y/n

Mikey:If you’re fortunate enough

Mikey: your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness

Mikey: but mine?

April: oh boy here we go

Mikey: Hasn’t. 😏😏😏

Y/n: Oh?

Mikey: *send another selfie flexing muscles* you see when you fight crime everyday-

Raph: yeah he shallowed a glow stick

[iridescentdove]

👏I👏AM👏TIRED

of seeing so many Yandere! BSD x Reader, and it’s always the character or everyone being Yandere for Reader, I have to request a Platonic! BSD x Yandere! Teen! Reader, in which Reader is in any organization of your choice, and since Reader is underage, they see said organization as their family, precious people that they hold dear to their hearts, and don’t wish for any of them to die or leave and abandon them. This triggers their Yandere instincts, and ultimately they kill anybody who’s hurt their darlings in any way or attempts to "steal" their attention or worse, guide them away from Reader.

LONELINESS NO MORE.

platonic!bsd x yandere!teen!reader

A/N: It's nice to go a bit gruesome sometimes lol- anyways, so I just decided to choose the PM for this.

Let's just say you were similar to Dazai in a way. As a homeless young child, you had no home or family and friends to even call your own.

And to say the least? It was a little lonely.

This was something rather different, as you grew up to have an understanding that the world is never fair. Even before being taken into the Port Mafia by MORI, you were already much of an unhinged criminal yourself.

In a way, it was bad due to how young you were, but given this was a wretched world on it's own – many things can happen.

You killed, you stole, you did many things. At some point you probably rivaled Dazai's crime list because yours looked like an entire fucking receipt.

And that is what lesd you to the mafia.

MORI had found you, and went 'fuck it', deciding to just grab you and take you back with him to the base.

Well at first – you got a bit defensive, not knowing his real intention and thinking of fighting back yourself. But it was when he gave you new clothes, gave you food, and actually took responsibility of you was when you realized.

This man was just ... taking care of you.

And for the first time? You were really excited. It didn't take very long for you to grow accustomed to the Port Mafia.

Sure they made you do dangerous and gruesome missions, but you were used to it honestly. So it didn't matter that much. You met new faces and grew very attached to them, the dreaded loneliness that creeped into your heart grew into–

Obsession.

Yes, that's right. You found no other reason to dislike them at all, and they treated you like no one else ever did.

Like family.

CHUUYA was rather nice to you, despite his aggression and the rough edges he seems to pull off. Since you're underage, he drinks grape juice with you. Lmao ye, we love that shit. You liked being around him, defending him against accusations and giving him a shoulder to lean on.

He was like a brother to you. You adored most things about the fancy hat man. Scratch that, everything about him.

He releases one of those rare genuine smiles – mostly only to you, and he just thought you were the sweetest.

Oh, how wrong he was.

It was only one simple conversation. CHUUYA was talking to another mafia members in the lower ranks, discussing about the topic for the next PM meeting at hand.

Of course at first glance, they didn't look close at all. Just a normal chat between acquaintances. But did it make you mad?

Obviouely it did.

The very next day, the orange haired-man was looking for the same said man he spoke with the day before. Yet he was rather confused to see he wasn't around.

What the hell? Well that was weird, he could have sworn that he asked to meet them in this same spot right now.

Well, guess he wouldn't be meeting with them after all. In the distance, you were smiling – hiding that dead, cold expression on your face as you wiped the blood off the saw, a few splashee of blood and guts on the weapon.

But of course, you wouldn't let him know anything~ ♡

And simply, KOUYOU made it much easier. She was like a sweet, elder sister that spoiled you and taught you everything that you needed to know.

You simply loved her, and loved the times when you'd just hang around each other and dress one another up in various clothes. Be it trendy outfits or putting makeup on one another.

She took care of you as she should, and she grew very attached as well. KOUYOU was rather protective and sweet.

So when you saw her spoiling another girl in the picture, you were fucking livid.

How dare she pay more attention to another kid than you?

She was treating KYOUKA in private as if she was more important than you ever were. And it began to hardem your heart once more, growing angry at your elder sis paying more attention to some useless assassin.

You were way better than her, stronger even.

So imagine how relieved and prideful you felt when that girl had left the mafia to be with the detective agency instead. She wasn't even loyal! She doesn't deserve to be in the PM!

It left KOUYOU feeling agitated and sad, so you did what a younger sibling would do. You were the one comforting her, even manipulating her with your sweet words. You lured her in and had her give you more attention than before.

Just like how you wanted it to be.

AKUTAGAWA was honestly a tough nut to crack. You can easily tell he doesn't care about you at all. Well, he'd acknowledge your abilities a little but that's all you're getting.

But that won't stop you from killing those who tried to get even the slightest close to him.

After all, family members must stay with one another forever.

You didn't really mind much about that blonde girl who admires him and follows him around. It's not like she can take him away, he doesn't give a damn about her.

Plus, his sister was very nice! She gave you the love you needed, and she actually cared. Even though her brother was pretty cold, you'd think she also was – but in reality, GIN is a sweet, somewhat shy girl who gave you gifts and attention.

No matter which mafia member it was – wheneve ryou were with them, you were so sweet and caring, such an adorable teen who looks out for all of them and their wellbeing.

Yet behind closed doors, while they weren't looking, you glared daggers at other kids or people they payed attention to, your greedy self wanting all of it to yourself.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't!

You never held back. You spilled their guts out, you ripped out those fools' hearts – crushing it under your foot, knowing you deserved the love more than their ignorants asses ever did.

And most of all? No one noticed a thing. MORI had continued to send you out mission after mission. He didn't notice the desperate pleads of those immature adults, the heartbreaking cries of those innocent children.

If it was for family, you'd do anything.

After doing all that – you give them a sickly sweet smile, as you pull them to hang out and play with you, no questions asked.

They never noticed.

And quite clear, you were a sadistic young teen. After being so pissed seeing those people getting close to them, it's like a breath of fresh air when you hear the bloodcurdling screams coming from their mouths.

TACHIHARA wasn't that observant, but he could tell that there was something not right about you at all. Yet, he himself was not free from the depths of your pure, honest love. He'll find himself spoiling you, loving you – like you're his very own sister.

He was going to fall into the trap whenever he likes it or not, because you love them way too much.

If someone else tries to destroy that happiness,

They'll just have to dissapear like the rest.

[taevincii]

A little PSA:

There has been some backlash towards the anon who sent in the ‘darkest confession’, which is unacceptable and uncalled for.

Due to that, the post has been deleted BUT there are a few things I would like to get off my chest:

The rude and derogatory comments/assumptions about this individual and their personal hygiene based off a literal joke are absurd and distasteful.

Furthermore, the notion that body hair is unhygienic is not only scientifically inaccurate but perpetuates harmful societal pressures on women, which are fundamentally unjust and very fucking damaging.

Are we going to act like we all don’t have body hair? Like we’ve never forgotten to shave or put off shaving for too long? Lmao

Those of you who get waxed, do you not have to wait 3-4 weeks before your next appointment? What is that hair looking like by week 3? Would you consider that unhygienic?

Exactly. Wrap that discourse up immediately, quickly, and with urgency.

To those who felt what was said was insulting to J - you’re obligated to feel how you feel but, just know, the anon has made it clear that it was a joke and they meant no harm.

The gag is, it was also a fact…lol. His beard doesn’t connect. End of discussion. You can compare it to whatever you want 🤷🏽‍♀️

Friendly reminder - if you:

Cannot take a joke (especially dark humor)

Don’t support women/Aren’t a “girl’s girl”

Use harmful rhetoric

Are racist, sexist, xenophobic, Homophobic(!!!), etc

Support that Copper Coated Conman (y’all know who)

Are not mature enough to simply unfollow or scroll past content you don’t like/don’t agree with

My page is NOT for you!

To the anon who sent in the ask - I am genuinely sorry for the way people have reacted. You do not deserve that and should never have been subjected to such cruel treatment.

Please know, you and your wonderful sense of humor are welcome here and my DMs are always open if you ever want to chat about J and his patchy ass beard 😘❤️

p.s I hate making posts like these - I would like this to be the last. So can we all please act like we got some damn sense and decorum?! Thank you and God bless 😘

[nomsfaultau]

hi hello I am currently obsessed with shred your wings to make you ours, so if you want to go on a ramble session about that fic I am sitting attentively and cheering

OKay, so. Well disclaimer that I do not in any way think authors are required to be experts on the subjects they're writing like math physics astronomy whatever like we're not cinama sins in this household and the fear of incorrect facts should not hold people back from beautiful creativity. (personal petpeeve in writers circles)

however I'm autistic and love researching so this is ENRICHMENT FOR ME.

Biology

I cornered a paleontologist/ornithologist (Hereafter Dr. S) to try and get information about the evolutionary history of birds so that the fic would be more accurate. And you will have to forgive me if I am not understanding everything accurately, because that's not my biology specialty! And the convo was a week ago.

Specifically, I was trying to figure out the environmental conditions that could lead to the size of Elytrians we see (although it could very well be that Elytrians are human sized and Avians are just tiny!).

So, I asked about how climate impacts species sizes. Dr. S discussed how in a particular ice age, there was both mammal shrinkage and reptile enlargement in the same area, which is honestly fascinating! But no dice on birds temperature wise. Next I asked about oxygen content, since I know that it had an impact on insects at least, and figured the aerial aspect might be something? IDK again I'm not an ornithologist lmao. We had a fascinating conversation about not yet published findings about fossilized ostrich eggs (so sorry don't have a source). Essentially, there's holes in the eggs that allow for gas exchange with the yolk. So, hypothesis was that the oxygen content in the atmosphere would influence the size of the holes in the ostrich eggs! Except, uh, it kinda didn't. At which point Dr. S, who is QUITE the rambler, finally said that there isn't much crazy variation in bird sizes over evolutionary history (compared to dinosaurs and what not).

(Which threw out my next theory on legumes, because I know that was big for the explosion of diversity and size in mammals post (paper here since I'm just a silly tumblr guy and you should fact check stuff I say, unfortunately can't give the Dr. S source without doxxing myself (for the second time talking about Shred Your Wings) so- uh- homework time?)

At which point I was like aw :( maybe my bird hybrid people (already insanely speculative biology and absurd for earth's evolutionary history) are even less biologically feasible due to their size :(

....And then I looked up the largest bird in history. Maybe not that far outside of theoretical, actually! Remember kids, why waste time talking to a professional when you can just google that crap!

wait no I shouldn't promote that message to my followers I'm a bad influence

Anyyyway. Hehe. Um.

Other stuff I'm thinking about:

The reason they don't have feathers around their mouths is for hygiene.

Researching migration feeding and sleeping habits. Wait sick some birds can sleep half of their brain at a time while still flying?? Also a least part of my explanation for Avians having arms is to carry resources during oceanic migration, but there's also some studies about plummeting calorie requirements that's fascinating

Now the Eleonara's falcon also does migration but that would super duper get in the way of the plot/ending so I've decided to violate that. Because all this research is fun and all but the story comes first y'know?

I don't think Avian or Elytrian are species. Techno makes a comment about the falconiform language barrier, and so I believe the divide is actually along Orders. So, Avians being Passeriformes (most birds tbh, ravens, sparrows, robins, etc) and Elytrians are Falconiformes (falcons). Fairly recent common ancestor, potentially there's another group based on the other two idk.

Lastly. Their forward facing eyes T-T chat I'm cooked. Absolutely no reason for them to have forward facing eyes, ESPECIALLY for an aerial species! I tried to poke in the direction of maybe them evolving in a hella dense jungle like area that would require insanely good depth perception to navigate, but like. I mean parrots don't have it so like. Whah. And it's not even for a narrative reason so it's my cross to bear ig.

Culture

My next big world building question (that honestly is why progress has stalled) is what type of technological and cultural development these guys have.

(As a note the ideas of 'more advanced civilizations' get quick into things like colonialism or racism so I'm trying to avoid that quagmire and be conscious of my status as a sedentary agriculturalist).

Because Avians are migratory, I think that would have a big influence on things like, having agriculture, or certain types of technologies that are based on permanent settlements. But only partially, I picture them as having two homes, one north and one south, that they split between. Techno at least seems to be from a species that migrates solo, but I think other Avians do group migrations. Because part of it is instincts, magnetism, constellations, etc leading them back to specific breeding grounds, I imagine this has created a very funky kingdom/settlement arrangement, where things like borders and territory are REALLY hard to maintain what with everyone moving twice a year. Who knows? Imagine coming home after 6 months to figure out the neighbors razed your house before leaving to annex it. I'm imagining less of monarchy or democracy systems, and more like clans. Of course not all Avians migrate, which could lead to those stationary species having lots of trust/power due to taking care of everything while everyone else is gone....OR could be there are biannual wars as those groups take over while everyone is gone, take all their stuff, and then deal with hoards of angry Avians in a couple months time!

Trying to maintain a proper kingdom wouldn't work, because a large control mechanism is inhibiting im/emigration. If someone hate their ruler, they can just pick a new place to land when they migrate next spring/fall. So factions are constantly shifting around, and places change a lot every year depending on who got there first and how much fuss they intend to kick up about staying there. Avians move a lot and aren't really tied down to a particular home. There's a constant flux to these societies. Some Avians cope by forming close knit groups, and get entire towns migrating together, but others bounce from group to group.

I'm super certain wars are happening. But we also don't see Techno as being notably armed while migrating -which: this is Techno! If there are weapons he'd have all of them! Which might be oversight on my part tbh, but also I think in that case the Elytrian kill strat explains why: usually, Avians are either immediately killed, or can escape. So, not much use for a weapon there, especially against someone faster and stronger than you. And since Avians are trying to max out carrying food during migration, I imagine weapons aren't carried on them because every gram counts when you're flying across the ocean. So, weapons are for fighting Avians, running for your life is for fighting Elytrians. (Could've been a few centuries arm race between Avian weapons and Elytrian armor, but, speculation).

Most Avians are on the herbivore/omnivore spectrum, and since the migration means they have two growing seasons but also giant periods of time where areas are abandoned. So while I do picture them having farming, I think it's very different from human styles. Much much much less intensive, long fallow periods, potentially more diversity since you can also trade with an Avian with a different diet! Scavenging/hunting is still very large in the culture, because you WILL need it during migration at the very least, so you better not get rusty or you'll die! Also some people need bugs/fish/whatever in their diets. I think most of their clothing is made from cotton they've grown, and they get crazy dyes from all over the globe.

I also think that the ability to fly would vastly structure how things like towns are built because that's all about proximity, but the sheer distance anyone can cover means that I think they're less concentrated.....by species. Niche partitioning baby! And also some birds are very territorial compared to others who form massive flocks. So, big difference there again.

I gotta imagine their sense of ownership looks very different to ours too.

AS for Elytrians:

Imma focus on Phil's species that don't migrate cause I like the contrast! They are more firmly in one place for most of the year. They don't grow crops cause, well, carnivores. I can see an amount of animal husbandry for them though, which works for a mildly nomadic species since birds do tend to drift around even if not migrating. I think circling their herd overhead would also give ample opportunity for hunting, since blatantly Phil is still a predator. Particularly for his species, they eat insects and fish and what not most times of the year, but their chick season lines up with when a bunch of Avians migrate through because they make a fantastic source of protein.

Comparatively, Elytrians are far more invested in their one area than Avians are, who migrate frequently and mingle a lot. So I picture Elytrians having more complex architecture, and potentially inventions since you're not abandoning a project every half year to potentially never come back to again. Which honestly suits the Philza/Techno building philosophy divide....

Since writing systems were developed for counting agriculture stuff, I kinda see these guys inventing it and arithmetic as a way of marking how big their herds are, branding them to prevent thefts, stuff like that. Probably have things like literature being big hits in the Elytrian communities, especially since distribution is so easy. Passarines being more song birds I think have oral story telling traditions instead.

Now Elytrians mostly just use natural weapons for hunting evidentially since- I mean- can you throw a spear faster than a 200mph falcon? If it works it works! Their aerial combat with each other has got to be WICKED though.

As for general technologies: Clothing, basic tools, dying, stone/wood work, fire. I cannot for the life of me picture either Order working in mines but Techno has clearly forged pieces of copper/gold/metal worked into his clothing so I imagine it's happening. Nothing along the lines of industry. If that were to happen I think Elytrians are more likely, buuuut then they'd have to fly in all that smog so potentially that wouldn't go far.

uh. Good enough ramble session?? I hope? This certainly helped get my thoughts in order to continue working!

[patroxlos]

Ate pls update soon!! dont be too pressured tho. Your home base story is so good 😗😗

I'm going to try to bang out some more of ch8 tonight! if i get into the groove itll be out within the weekend :> btw if ure in the PH i hope youre safe atm! the typhoon rlly rocked us this past week

SO while waiting for that to happen, I'll chat BRIEFLY about my thoughts on Ken Sato's insecurities to help me get out of the writer's block for a bit lmao

I fully subscribe to the characterization that Ken can actually be a bit awkward socially when he isn't putting up a pretense and is actually insecure

but what exactly is his source of insecurity?

For me, I don't fully believe all of his confidence is for show lmao. he knows he's a damn good baseball player, he knows he is hot as fuck— he knows he is the shit. I don't think the bullying affected his self-esteem in a way where he doubts himself bc I don't think he'll let white boys tell him what kind of person he is

instead, I think the bullying solidified his difficulty in being vulnerable with others and produced in his brain the false narrative that he is alone

The reason why he built this high self-image of himself is that he believes that he is the only person in his corner, aside from his mom. in connection to his dad, it is to show his dad that he never needed him to be a part of his life even if deep down, he does

Ken puts up the idea that he is the greatest of all time because he wants to show that he can do it without relying on others

it's very western, to hold onto an individualistic viewpoint on success, and to find it admirable that he was able to do it all with pure willpower

but it also makes him very lonely

what's more, i dont think we can divorce ken's insecurities about his inability to connect with others from his struggles with retaining his japanese identity and feeling like a foreigner in his own country

There's a lot more to discuss (I mainly use Erikson's psychosocial theory as a template) esp in terms on how the reader in 'home base' feeds into his insecurities and worsens his abandonment issues, but that's just a bit for now!! will try to update soon

[justalildumpling]

⇢ nct dream at parties

pairing: nct dream x reader  genre: college au, crack, fluff warnings: swearing, mentions of drunkness/partying, vomiting, weed, sex (nothing explicit) word count: 1.1k

note: lowk couldn’t stop thinking about jeno playing beer pong at parties and it led to this… lmao i just realised that a lot of these dot points are based off of irl events HHAHAHAH are u guys any of the dreamies at parties?? genuine question😚😚

Mark

Is probably the host’s friend so he was at the party early, setting up the decorations and accidentally spiking the jello shots with more vodka than the recipe required so it ends up tasting like shit

That being said, he would probably be drunk by the time people start rolling in through the door due to him “taste testing” the shots

Lowkey too drunk to comprehend that people are flirting with him and accidentally dude zones them or fumbles over his words when trying to talk up a hot person (no drunk rizz)

Accidentally cockblocks someone by walking into a random room and flopping on the bed without noticing that they were doing the deed

Starts randomly telling everyone that he’s really good at cooking eggs now and that he’ll prove his improved skills (Spoiler: He either burns the eggs and makes the fire alarm go off or someone drags him away from the kitchen)

Weirdly craves cereal by the end of the night so he pours himself a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and heatedly discussed with everyone whether milk or cereal should be poured first 

Renjun

I don’t see him getting piss drunk. He would probably pace his drinks well across the night so he can make sure someone haechan and chenle wouldn’t puncture a hole in the host’s wall

He would be sitting around the fireplace outside, chatting to his friends or just random mutuals about anything

Probably ends up yelling scolding one of his friends at some point (e.g. hyuck) for taking too long in the bathroom  

Calls everyone their respective Uber/partner to pick them up at 3am or tucking them into a random room to sleep

Always holding at least 2 vomit buckets after 11pm and waiting for disaster to happen (aka his friends threatening to puke on the living room floor)

Probably ends up with 10+ new followers on Instagram after every party because he literally talks to everyone and unwillingly became co-host of the party (because the original host got so wasted)

Very exhausted by the end of the night and swears to never go to one ever again (Spoiler: He does because Donghyuck drags him)

Jeno

You cannot tell me that this man would not be at the beer pong table 70% of the night, like nothing can distract this man from winning every round. A hot girl trying to fuck? Nope. Someone offering more alcohol? Nope. Jaemin is throwing up in the bathroom? Ok, maybe.

Unironically would like the taste of cheap beer (maybe he just used to the taste of it after the sheer amount he had to drink from that godforsaken game)

If he gets drunk enough he would start flexing his muscles and comparing sizes with the guys

Probably thinks he looks and acts like the sexiest person alive at that party but in reality becomes a cute little fluff ball and is babied by Jaemin whenever he sees him

He would not be aware of the volume of his voice and would start shouting everything that comes out of his mouth like Renjun could be like 5m away from him but he’d be like “JUN CAN YOU GET ME DORITOS FROM THE PANTRY” and would probably get repeatedly shushed

Ends up drunkenly walking home around 2am 

Haechan

Goes ham on pre drinks and turns up to the party ‘fashionably late’ so he can make a grand entrance

He would be holding a bottle of some sort at all times (whiskey, vodka, tequila, soju pick your poison) and chugging it by the mouth and offering it to anyone he sees and suspects to be “too sober”

responsible for 80% of the queued songs on the party playlist and would turn the living room into a rave

Ubereats KFC halfway into the night, chowing down on way too many wicked wings and stubbornly not sharing to others or if he did, would ask them to venmo him double the money required because he charges “interest”

Would throw up in a fake plant by the end of the night

Jaemin

If this party had a theme/dress code he’s the type of person to dress up as himself ⎯ like the most effort he’ll put into a costume is writing Na Jaemin on an A4 piece of paper and sticking it to his shirt

Probably only came to the party because of the food and that Jeno was going

Mans would either be the most sober one there and taking care of his friends or wasted af and doing the stupidest shit like walking into the same closed door for the tenth time and getting pissed that it wouldn’t let him through

He would probably bring his film camera and take embarrassing photos of his friends and taunting them with it like a month later when the film gets developed

Complains about the taste of alcohol but keeps drinking because he has nothing else to do

He would end up passing out face first on the ground somewhere in the house by the end of the night and scaring the host the next morning 

Chenle

Brings his own expensive ass alcohol as well as raiding the host’s stash too

Like Renjun, i also don't see him getting piss drunk but the difference is that Chenle’s goal of the night was to get black out drunk but couldn’t because his alcohol tolerance was too high

Either sitting by the fireplace being loud or running around the house and annoying people by being loud

The biggest hype man for his friends to do idiotic things (e.g. cheering hyuck on whilst he’s in the process of getting alcohol poisoning)

He would see some people smoking a joint and would join for the lols

He would be the reason for the party getting a noise complaint and the police turning up

Jisung

Probably would take him a couple hours into the party to get drunk and horrified/scared for his friends’ reputation whilst they’re drunk

But once the alcohol hits his system, he would be clinging onto his friends when drunk, wobbling around mumbling his love for everyone

If he has a crush on someone, you bet your ass he’s gonna drunk text a confession and cry when he gets rejected

Would accidentally eat someone’s pot brownies thinking it was the normal ones and being paranoid as hell for the rest of the evening

Would kiss someone jeno’s foot and wouldn’t remember it the next day until someone shows him photographic evidence

taglist: @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @polarisjisung @dearlyminhyung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @daincty @deehyuck @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @barbkh8450t @cupid-yuno @rum-gone-why @mxnhoeuwu @dinonuguaegi @alethea-moon

[superego-imagines]

Polkadot man × male reader × Captain Boomerang ot3 hcs pls? :3

((Based on them both being here, I assume both of them have been in the Suicide Squad/you’re going by their Suicide Squad version (Polka Dot Man doesn’t really have a character otherwise lmao). Usually though, unless a specific version is clarified, I’m just going to wing it.))

Getting Together Headcanons:

As you probably guessed, Digger is the one to make the first of any kind of move. Member of the squad, agent, hero, villain, man, woman, nonbinary, it doesn’t matter. If he thinks you’re cute, he doesn’t even ask your name before making sure you’re very aware that he does. Did you stand still long enough for him to approach? Congrats! You’re just his type! His sexual orientation would best be described as: Buzzard. Please make him work for it a bit, if for no other reason than his ego will become utterly unbearable otherwise. He’s cute but if those cheesy pick up lines actually get him your number he’s going to use them anytime he wants something (usually to get out of helping with a chore.)

While the relationship starts out really casual, if you’re willing to listen to him chat you up and down and brag about that time he almost (not even close) beat the Flash, well then he’s throwing you over his shoulder for a shotgun Elvis-Officiated wedding. There’s no reason to wait, you have to live each day like your last, literally in his case. Although he’s on parole now, he could be dragged back to some near-death mission or just arrested at any time. No matter how long you’re together you’ll never fully keep him out of trouble. He just loves it too much!

With Abner, it’s sort of the opposite, it takes a lot of time for you two to form first, a close friendship, and then slooooowly working your way up to a romantic relationship. There’s a lot of trauma there, and on top of that, almost thirty years of mental illness and unhealthy coping mechanisms developed to survive that trauma. So yeah, it’s a bit of a nonstarter for a while. But he does crave companionship, having been without it most of his life. So if you’re willing to be patient and understanding and work within his comfort zone, he quickly starts to open up (maybe a bit too much but you’re glad he feels safe enough to overshare?) Once he starts to see you as a safe person and a friend, it’s easier for him to physically see you as an individual and allow himself to look at you. The real you. And once he sees you…well, it’s hard for him not to catch feelings.

There’s not really much internalized homophobia to work through, if only because he’s always been an outcast, in his mind, what’s one more thing? You’re the first person to really be nice to him. How can it be wrong to pursue this? It takes him ages to express his feelings to you, and finding out about your thing with Digger just sets him back months of progress. He definitely spends about a weekend thinking about a way to kill him, before ultimately resigning himself for a lifetime of loneliness. Luckily, you notice what’s wrong and ask him about it. It doesn’t take much for all the bottled up feelings to come bursting out (possibly accompanied by dots.) It’s real emotional all around and you admit to returning his feelings and that, while you still want to be in a relationship with Digger, there might be a solution that can work for everyone.

I won’t lie, neither of them is super thrilled about the idea of an open relationship, well, Digger kinda likes it in theory but why him? It’s not so much that either of them are opposed to the idea, they’d never really thought about it before. Digger hadn’t been in many committed relationships that required actually discussing boundaries and Abner never thought he’d be in a relationship, let alone one and a half of one. I do think you have to start as more of a V than a triangle. They just really rub each other the wrong way. Abner thinks Digger's annoying and rude and Digger thinks he’s a “creepy lil’ cunt.” It also sort of brings out their insecurities whether they acknowledge it or not. They each thrive where the other falls short. Neither can see what you see in the other but they both love you and want desperately to try and make things work even if it means -ugh- spending time with each other.

But eventually, as they watch each other interact with you, they get to see the version of the other that you see. Digger can be sweet when he wants to be (or wants something.) Abner is capable of cracking a joke about once a month. Maybe they aren’t completely unbearable. And if you like them, how bad can they be? And what was a begrudging truce slowly blossoms into something more, even if they’re both a little too emotionally constipated to actually put it into words.

General Relationship Headcanons:

I hope you enjoy your scary and small but ferocious dog privilege. Both of them know how much they hit the jackpot and when they’ve finally stopped fighting each other over you, they become a very protective team. (Not that you can’t hold your own of course.) The Captain is not a particularly jealous guy, if anything it puffs him up a bit knowing everyone else wants what he’s got. Abner, however, is but sometimes lacks the ability to find a middle ground between complete conflict avoidance and murdering an entire room full of people, and the latter would really ruin the night out. Luckily, if Abner asks, Digger is not remotely above making a huge public display of obscene affection and openly challenging anyone in a ten foot radius to fight him about it.

Ideal date for Abner would be a nice night in with good takeout and a bunch of movies. He has so much to catch up on and you two have a list a mile long of things you want to show him. He also has to worry about his condition less, knowing he’ll be in the comfort of his home when he needs to excise some energy and he won’t get weird looks like he does when he starts to glow in a public movie theater. Ideal date for Digger: Stealing Renting a roofless luxury car and just driving out into the country. Past the satellite towns of Central City, there’s nothing but plains where you won’t see another car for miles. He could drive as fast as he wants, without any cops on his case, his boyfriend in the passenger seat (and later, boyfriend two sitting in the back), singing along to each other's favorite songs at the top of their lungs. He doesn’t really have anything planned out beyond that but it's what he thinks about while he waits for you two to rangle up bail money.

Cohabiting is…a bit of a learning curve. Probably one of the hardest parts of your relationship. Abner wants to be helpful but he spent the first half of his life in a lab and the rest in the psych ward of a maximum security penitentiary. He’s literally never had to keep track of the sort of basic things that go into keeping a household running. The idea that if he wants something, he can have it, but he has to do it himself. He’s never cooked for himself, chose his own clothes, or even had agency over his own schedule. Every minute of his day had always been accounted for, and while poorly, his most basic needs were taken care of for him at Belle Reeves. So you have to teach/remind him of a lot of the things that may not occur to you to tell someone. But you get to learn it together! And learning/trying out new recipes or teaming up on a chore can be fun in its own way. At least he’s willing to learn. Digger is…a bit more work. He has lived alone for a long time, but unsupervised. Be prepared for a lot of “What do you mean you have to wash towels? Ain’t the point of a shower that you’re clean at the end?” Or melted plastic in your nice new dishwasher. It wouldn’t be so bad if he would just listen and wasn’t so stubborn about his way working just fine. He’s just a bit set in his ways and it’s hard to get him used to a new routine, set of standards, and just generally living with other folks. But he’ll always come around in the end. ;)

[petrichormore]

-LIVE-BLOGGED THOUGHTS ON TODAY’S STREAM-

FIRST OFF - one little thing that I want to say:

(This is about the characters, obviously.)

I am totally on Bad’s side about locking his base down and not letting anyone in. If he wants to do that, there’s nothing wrong with it. I get why Forever and Baghera might be upset but holy shit it’s his house. And also: Trust is always gifted, never owed. The fact that he’s letting them inside his base at all is a privilege that very few people on the server have and I don’t think they realize that.

Yes, maybe they trust him with everything but that’s their decision and Bad isn’t somehow required to reciprocate equally as they see fit. I’d even argue he is reciprocating equally - but his idea of “I trust you as much as I possibly can” is just different from theirs.

I saw a lot of people telling Bad in chat that Baghera had a point but like - trust is not really a transaction like that, or at least it shouldn’t be - trust is something you earn. Forever and Baghera have earned more of Bad’s trust than any other people on the server but that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to anything he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with them if it doesn’t concern them. Especially if it’s his LITERAL ACTUAL TOP-SECRET PRIVATE HOUSE WHERE HE LIVES.

That’s not to say I don’t understand where Forever and Baghera are coming from - obviously it probably does come across like he doesn’t trust them but. Even if they’re right (they’re not), if he doesn’t trust them then trying to guilt-trip him into giving them complete access is not gonna. make him trust them more so. Y’know. Skill issue.

OKAY NOW THE LIVE THOUGHTS

- Lmao Bad is explaining his potential proxy representive democracy style government to Antoine and he really just said “if any candidate tries to assassinate anyone else I’ll just kill them” like he knows how stacked he is. People ask “What if someone assassinates Bad?” And my answer to that is: they can certainly try but they’ll probably fail miserably.

- Bad: “Everyone thinks they’re powerful until a mine is placed in the right location.” I am so glad he’s not evil because everyone else would be screwed if he was

- Bad: “I’m gonna be honest: I don’t want a government. I do not want a president. But if we have to choose a president, I want a president that will do as little as possible [without full community support].” My anarchist king. A man of the People.

- Bad has decided he wants to talk to Phil and try and convince him to run because he doesn’t trust anyone to be a ‘good president’ and thinks someone who doesn’t want the position at all would be the best choice. He also said if Phil won’t, he will run himself with an anti-government stance. If he doesn’t have a chance of winning, he will throw his support behind Forever or Baghera and help them win. I really want to see a Phil/Bad team-up though, or at least see them discuss it.

- Overall, Bad’s whole monologue about his stance on the election was super cool and he’s so Right and Correct. He didn’t explain it very well during the debate but god damn is he cooking

[kirythestitchwitch]

Klaroline WIP Wed - First Base - Pour Choices

Today brings a text conversation from the Caroline & Bonnie & Enzo group chat from the mafia au. They have a wine night where they talk about Mikaelsons which is discussed earlier in the fic, the group chat name is a reference to that.

[time 10:38am] Pour Choices

Caroline: So I have a problem

Caroline: A Klaus problem

Bonnie: I thought you weren’t going to sleep with him!!

Enzo: WHAT

Caroline: OMG NO

Caroline: I am not sleeping with Klaus!

Enzo: yet

Bonnie: LMAO

Caroline: HUSH

Caroline: No he kind of got us tickets to the Crosstown Classic game? Like the BEST tickets??

Bonnie: How the best?

Caroline: Behind. Home. Plate.

Bonnie: NO

Enzo: hold on hold on. I was more drunk than anything the last time we went but I think I know what you’re talking about and holy shit

Caroline: I KNOW

Bonnie: Okay so I fail to see what the problem is, are you not going to go?

Caroline: Oh no I’m gonna go!

Caroline: But my problem is: what if we end up on KISS CAM???

Enzo: you mean that thing where they try to make you kiss the person you're seated with on camera on the big screen?

Caroline: YES THAT

Enzo: well I mean

Enzo: and i hate that i'm saying this

Enzo: but you could just

Enzo: go for it?

Caroline: Bonnie help 😩

Bonnie: I mean. He’s not WRONG. It’s kind of a situational free pass.

Bonnie: TEST OUT THOSE GOODS, GIRL.

Enzo: Okay but that’s a Mikaelson, that's a rent to own situation

Caroline: I'm not renting, there will be no renting! so, what if he kisses me, and I don’t want to stop? I’m not ready to jump INTO it with this man no matter if Horny Caroline wants to jump his bones. I need an off switch!

Enzo: tell Horny Caroline i need less information

Bonnie: Ten seconds. Give the man ten seconds to do his worst and then you stop.

Enzo: i think those kisses are only supposed to be maybe two seconds, max, you guys 

Caroline: Ten seconds. Okay, yeah. I can do that.

Enzo: okaaay but does anyone ELSE remember how long Caroline’s “”””seven”””” minutes in heaven with Matt Donovan lasted in 11th grade? maybe you should set a timer :)

Caroline: WORST FRIEND how dare you bring up Matt Donovan when I had basically forgotten he existed!

Enzo: I heard he’s a COP now

Caroline: Never again. How have all the men I’ve dated wound up in law enforcement?

Bonnie: Well, you certainly went in the opposite direction this time

Caroline: This is not a DATE, we are not DATING! He, my friend, asked me, as a friend, to go see a friendly baseball match together. 

Bonnie: A baseball match you are absolutely not setting out specific rules for when and how long he may put his mouth on yours if the occasion calls for it

Enzo: lmaooo gross

Caroline: LISTEN

Caroline: I just believe in being prepared is all!! There are thousands of people at the stadium. Who says we will even stand out?

[riacte]

i never really paid attention to it but wow false and ren. they really do hover around each other huh. they r like bugs

Hiii anon thanks for the ask <3 I'll use this to talk about them and them in fanon because I have thoughts woooo (and I'm vibrating with excitement because I'm listening to the HC Grand Prix at the same time)

You said it exactly— like we all know they're buddies and stick together, but most of the times, we don't really notice it because it's just natural. Nondescript even. Like of course their pixels are next to each other in the background. Of course they're hanging out. It's not flashy or anything, they're just there.

[long and winding analysis that goes off in a Direction, will definitely not be maintagged, mentions of shipping and the fandom's worst enemy (comphet / heteronormativity)]

Pairing up

They're like those anime characters who are fully fleshed out individually, but for some reason, their screentime is tied together and they're always shown next to each other. That was actually my first impression of them back when I only watched Grian in HC6 lmao, every time Grian flew over the fantasy district he would casually go "that's False and Ren's bases" and my brain was like "hmm new names :) idk who they are but they stick together :)". Like you know when you're new to an unknown cast of people so you try to comprehend and memorise them as efficiently as possible? And so you start sorting the cast into duos / groups so it's easier to remember them? That was me trying to compartmentalize the hermits in HC6. Grian + Mumbo. Iskall + Stress. Scar + Cub. Joe + Cleo. ZIT. False + Ren.

It did not help that from Grian's POV, there was a part in the civil war arc when he collabed with False to prank Ren because they thought he'd pranked her and so my brain was like "weeewoooo I still don't know who False and Ren are but they continue stick together, and that's convenient for my internal sorting :)))". And that mutual association genuinely never stopped lmao (it only got worse).

Shared audiences?

I've talked about this on privtwt: False+Ren as a fanon duo (like duo Duo as in desert duo) is strangely niche even though they do stuff together all the time and they're both fairly popular on their own. And there is so much intermingling between their audiences— I know this is the case for all hermits' audiences, but it seems especially obvious between their audiences. I know in a stream Ren said he met up with False and they had a discussion like years ago about the two of them hosting a meet and greet with fans in a restaurant (that didn't happen) and internally I was like "yeah, that'll only work if they have a solidly integrated fanbase so no one feels left out in the restaurant WAIT. That's literally what's going on here".

Funny how when I was writing this, an anon sent an ask about Ren's chat basically being full of False emotes LOL. Integrated audience kinda real <3 like, even if you only watch one of them and don't actively watch the other, you still know and think of the other fondly.

Different styles? And sticking together

Actually outside of yayyy fun minigames, to me at least they have quite different styles + ways of presentation? Which feels slightly different from the above duos I mentioned? So I totally understand why people only main one of them and don’t watch the other (but still aware of the other obviously). In terms of taste and personal preference, I’ve been here long enough to know what loyal False mains generally like and what loyal Ren mains generally like. (Like, very verrrry generally.) Ren’s the dramatic roleplay storyteller and False is like, sneaky and shifty and has a wry sense of humour. They’re both funny and charming in different ways. I would say Iskall and Stress have similar presentations (“aha? AHA?”) even though they excel at different things. Cub and False are also similar to me— competent and cool people who are nonchalantly chaotic. And we all know Ren and Martyn’s instant chemistry and their similarities. It’s why a lot of Ren fans gravitated to Renchanting and Rendoc for their dramatics and flirting in the way some False fans gravitate to Fress and Falseren for the fun/mildly hysterical/teasing/sweet/pranking moments.

BUT

False and Ren bounce off each other well— it’s the playful tension and the sudden mutual whiny energy like “noooo don’t leave me🥺” but they start hitting each other 0.5 seconds later. And of course the mutual clinginess. I know people have made jokes about how they’re both smart and competent people individually but when they get together they suddenly become the silliest sillies and share one braincell <3 and I know people (read: mutuals in my DMs) have joked about Ren’s currently extremely obvious bias for her (it's as big as the BRR sign I swear 😭) and the usual “orbiting around each other group recordings”. Compared to other duos, they don’t get paired together bc of similar presentations / style. They get paired together because of the chemistry and they share so many moments lol.

Tldr: they make for entertaining on-screen interactions. It’s fun watching them rotate around each other and punch each other off things. And they do this so much that 1) everyone’s aware of it 2) everyone’s used to it.

Branding? (Or the lack of it)

Last I checked, their tag has 46 fics on Ao3 and 16 of those fics are from me (I love being spiders georg). As with every pair that's not the juggernaut pair, realistically the actual number of fics that actually focus on them is less than what we see. And you know how sometimes for the "niche" pairs, there's more ship fic than platonic fic? (Actually I think for most pairs, there's more ship fic than platonic fic.) That's also not it, they don't even have 20 ship fics. Like clearly, the current fanon interest in them is not ship motivated versus *gestures to whatever is happening in the general shipping chaos post 2021*.

What I concluded is that they lack the kind of branding that for example Convex possesses. I think it's kind of because... they're an ubiquitous constant throughout the years. They don't need a storyline or a named group to tie themselves together. No matter what they're doing, no matter what characters they're playing, no matter which servers they're on— they just kind of stay in each other's orbits. But they don't play it up or anything like hashtag SHIPrendoc or Renskall or whatever. They don't even have a proper fanon name ffs (outside of fairy pirate grotto or whatever in HC6).

(Although imo this is likely to avoid comphet irl shipping because God forbid a man and a woman are friends :))))) heteronormative irl shipping / truthing was an annoyance for years (pre the HC6 boom). But strangely enough, modern anti hermitshippers on Twitter rarely bring up the real problem of truthing in public comments and instead target people making Scarian fanart in a small corner or whatever. When many cases of Compulsory Heterosexuality literally exist in YouTube comments. But I digress.)

Ren and False are just there, pranking each other and basing together and playing five million minigames and being casually supportive of each other. Like, their biggest shared "storyline" that left a strong impression on fans / converted fans was probably MCC9. We all still talk about it today the way Ren and Martyn still talk about 3L Renchanting. And MCC9 was in 2020 when they'd already done a lot of stuff together prior to that (eg. literally being neighbours in HC6).

And the thing is, they do collab semi-frequently. In like every Hermitcraft season. In recent memory, we've got the Blue River Raceway of course, but we also get those pranks and minigames and random silly interactions like Ren breaking into False's eagle and False pranking him at her elytra race. It doesn't need to be big and theatrical in classic Ren fashion (I remember the Renbob / Falsewell storyline in HC6; her nonchalance and confusion was so funny in contrast to Renbob's hippie demeanor).

And I kind of like the way they've kind of (?? or not???) escaped from the intense duo-ification from the fandom. Okay, to be fair, I know I am the worst offender of the duo-ification of them (with my desperate do not separate agenda), and maybe I've had a negative effect on the fandom, so feel free to throw me off my soap box. I remember how hermitblr as a collective suddenly lost it when they split in MCC17. We took them for granted, we all got to used to them being together, we got used to seeing them in the background, and then suddenly they’re not??

So we’re all kind of aware of them. But it’s not a terribly big thing…. until it is.

It's the same on the M/CC Reddit. Everyone knows they're iconic. But nobody makes a post about how we need more False and Ren duo interactions because they already interact a lot. It's just a natural constant. They don't really need a spotlight because they're just... here doing funky cute friendship stuff.

But if they ever, for some reason, become a mainstream duo on twt in its mainstream duo way with some [insert random noun] duo name, I will be so 🫠😒🔥💥🔥💥. But I literally cannot see this happening unless they team with Grian / Grian adjacent people in Life series. But even then I think they’re kinda exempt because everyone’s so used to them lol. It’s not like a shiny new uwu duo. It’s like how Stresskall is just Stresskall. Or Jleo.

(Actually, speaking of Stresskall, the entire Stress-Iskall-Ren-False group would make for an interesting fanon discussion bc it’s essentially made out of very solid and fan favourite duos. But not now. Team FRIS my absolute beloved though.)

Also, thinking about the ensemble HC fics I've read and how they're just casually kind of chilling in the background. Ren is usually paired with Doc (both platonic / romantic) but False is usually somehow mentioned in a passing comment. Same with False who's usually with the Hermitgals in ensemble fics, but there's also passing comments about her hanging out with Ren. Again, it's just a natural part of the background. Trivia that's sprinkled in between.

And that's why I think I'm so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 because it doesn't need to be big and grand... it's all the little moments <3 they have such a fun and playful dynamic and all the love for minigames <3

I don’t know if this is comprehensible or I’m just going crazy and overthinking things no one thinks about. But writing this was fun at least <3 If at least one person gets maybe 30% of this post (whatever it is), I'll be happy haha.

Post sponsored by the three people who liked my tweet from months ago 🥹

[valyrfia]

there are similar stories about both Alex/Kelly/some others wags in way that they were rude to someone else/rolled eyes etc. none of them have a real proof and we really shouldn’t believe them but you choose to believe a possible story about one person and not believe about the other one.

I will just say these people are all horrifically rich and quite often people with that sort of wealth are snobbish because places like Monaco are based entirely on perceived status and a TINY FRACTION people have realised that actually being a decent and kind person to everyone actually makes you seem more secure and more like you “belong” than being exclusionary. Misogyny is also crazy and all internalised and the culture is entirely patriarchal (like dowries are VERY much alive and thriving for example). Not an excuse but I’m just saying….yeah. It’s something to keep in mind and interesting to think about considering we are products of our environments—if you’re raised to see other women as competition you’re more likely to be aloof. We shouldn’t be idolising any of these people, we can extend them sympathy and respect and I think it’s fun to call pretty women pretty but idolising? Nah.

I will say that the stories I believe about K*lly are heard on a grapevine that I trust, so I’m more inclined to believe all that rather than some random claim on twitter. But I’ve said this before I’m not particularly enthusiastic to discuss her on my blog simply because I think there’s no need and I prefer to keep WAG discourse fun and lighthearted, call out misogyny when I see it, and call Alex hot in a hundred ways. @tsarinablogs is your best bet always if you want to chat more about this lmao.

[autobotmedic]

[ Chat Log with @suckmybearings where ratch and wj crashed into a roadblock unplanned, but it led to significant insight about each other (including: ratch having 'friend' defined for him). Warning: it is long, despite my cutting it down. ]

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

ratch is both Do Not Touch Me and I Will Manhandle You based entirely on a variety of factors are you being difficult? does it make you uncomfortable? is he moody? is he uncomfortable? how well does he know you? how long has he known you? but at the end of the day if he cares and he knows it's okay, he will be handsy LET HIM SENSE YOU WITH HIS DIGITS AND REASSURE HIMSELF THAT YOU ARE ALRIGHT WHILE ALSO ASSERTING CARETAKER DOMINANCE AT THE SAME TIME im going to take care of you this is a threat

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

LMAO WHEELJACK IS DYING MAYBE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT. 'SENSE YOU WITH HIS DIGITS'

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

my guy. im serious. one moment [ Link to Sensitivity Reference ] ratchet can hold one of his human kids in his palm and monitor their heart rate, their breathing, their tension, and in one instance, severe scar tissue

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

I swear to god, I didn't know just HOW in depth this went And Wheeljack is like, ".. How 'bout we just skip the checkups?" And in turn, he tries his damnedest to not sustain any injury.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

IF IT HELPS THIS IS MEDICAL MODIFICATION GFSJHGDF WHAT THE HELL IS A BATTLEFIELD MEDIC SUPPOSED TO DO WITH NO EQUIPMENT NOTHING BUT HIMSELF AND WHAT HE CAN TRANSFORM OR CARRY AROUND this is why ratchet struggles to even have a personal life / existence he is a walking one man hospital ratch normally doesnt tell ppl about juST HOW MUCH INFORMATION HE GETS FROM TOUCHING because of how wj just reacted

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

// I don't think I can keep this meta info from his in-verse. Either that, or they should to have a late-night-convo thread about this so he can be haunted by it and be more mindful of what he does in the future

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

i mean the implication was definitely already there based on their discussion about wj's facial sensitivity ratchet basically told him 'i know'

[...]

he hates the medics are great in bed stereotype and does everything in his power to avoid it he does not want that making his job harder, he does not want that making anyone uncomfortable, he does not want what he NEEDS TO DO DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND HIS CONTROL to seem se.xual or like he is taking advantage it is extremely important to him that he feels trustworthy and safe and sometimes that means it is better not to fully elaborate on just what all he is capable of / sensing at any given time or why having a lot of info being sent to his brain makes overstimulation a genuine issue for him sometimes ... this is also why when he holds, for example, a sparkling, and it is HEALTHY AND FULL AND CONTENT AND HE KNOWS IT IS 100% SATISFIED AND OKAY HE is so calm and relaxed about it as a side effect i have Succeeded in my Priorities, i can also be chill, i am enough

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-sobbing softly..- Wheeljack is trying so hard to not be so uncomfortable with all this. He trusts Ratchet, holy hell he does - knows that it's strictly medical professionalism - but it's the principle of it to him. For now, he's definitely going to be more careful out in the field and just keep downing the gross drinks, to not give Ratchet a reason to check his vitals. (Needs time to process it.)

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

i am geninuely sorry wj fshgdf REASONS HE DOESNT TALK ABOUT IT OR KEEPS INFO LIMITED: this result reasons he basically doesnt have a private existence: this result he doesnt allow himself to

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

NOW WHEELJACK FEELS TERRIBLE Wheeljack complaining; smothering a groan as he scrubs a servo down his face, huffing a laugh. "C'mon, Doc. Just.. maybe buy me a drink first."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

Ratchet's expression contorting into a sharp frown because even tho that is undoubtedly meant to be lighthearted, it sounds Exactly like an implication about romanticizing/sexualizing what he does. "... This is also why I said you may not want to consider me a friend. It is much easier to be a professional than a friend.. I'm sorry."

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

RATCHET NO RATCHET ".. Oh. You want to be like that, do y'a?" All humor bleeding from his expression, darkening as thunderstorm brews in the distance within; all at once, his demeanor is tense, his shoulders straightened. "I express a lil' discomfort over somethin' about you, and that's how you react? Is this how you're goin' to be with anything else I need time to get used to?"

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

Oddly enough, Ratchet doesn't appear angry, or provoked, in response. If anything, he just... looks tired, "No. I am merely telling you that, despite your efforts, I don't think you'll like what you learn about me, if this causes discomfort. It would be better not to find out, and spare both of us the awkwardness." CHANCES ARE IF YOU DID NOT SAY IT WAS HARD TO KEEP THIS META KNOWLEDGE SEPERATE RATCHET WOULD HAVE NEVER TOLD HIM IN DEPTH AS HE DOESNT WITH MOST PPL TO SPARE HIMSELF AND ANYONE ELSE'S COMFORT FROM ALL OF THIS FGSJHGD he doesnt Hide it, but he doesnt over explain either, especially not without being asked "Let me do my job when I need to. That is all I genuinely want." you dont have to be close to me you dont even have to like me as long as you know i will take care of you and fix you if I can

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

I THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD THING FOR WHEELJACK TO LEARN, THOUGH. They're just going to end up crossing a rough patch for a moment, it looks like.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

if it helps, ratchet isnt going to get angry about this GAJGFSD like, legitmately, this is a concern he has for others comfort

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Unfortunately, Wheeljack is very angry about it. ;-;

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

he cannot help it this is necessity he cant make everything he needs it's just him wj can get as angry as he wants he will take it

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

I think he's angry because of how quick Ratchet was to encourage Wheeljack to reconsider pursuing a genuine friendship with him; he didn't know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that. I think a part of him is even a little hurt over it. But more than anything, extremely confused why that was Ratchet's go-to response.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

because he doesn't want to hurt you, he doesn't want you to feel taken advantage of, he doesn't want you to look at him and think 'that guy is going to invade all my privacy just by touching me' but it's already a bit too late for that last one PUTS UP A PROFESSIONAL WALL THIS IS WHY YOU DONT GO TO YOUR FRIEND WHO IS A DOCTOR WHEN YOU NEED A DOCTOR OR A THERAPIST (however ratch is literally the only non-decepticon doctor left so YOU KNOW, THAT'S UNFORTUNATE) private life private emotions banned at the end of the day ratchet will put his job first over anything about himself, even love, even if it hurts, even if it means he seems cold

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

".. Know what? I'm goin' on a drive. Goin' to figure out what to say to you when I get back and we're goin' to hash this out. Don't know what landmine I just tripped over, but it can't exist if your instant reaction is goin' to be a rug-pull on what you're offerin' as a friend."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"... Wheeljack. I never offered to be your friend. I apologize if I led you on in any form. And I will not be hashing out anything. Not over this. I will discuss how to navigate your comforts, but I will not lose my temper." because guess what!!! now he's repressing personal feelings!!! much easier to not get mad!!! works great!!!

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Ratchet ;-; Did he just intentionally try to hurt Wheeljack?

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

no, he is saying he will not fight with him over this, he will talk about it peacefully and professionally we're not bantering over this topic He considers for a few more moments, and continues, "If friendship is something that helps with comfort, I will try to work with that. If you are hurt, and it would be easier to avoid me outside of medical necessity, I will also try to work with that." i will adapt or adjust based on whatever you tell me you need he will NOT be an immovable

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

FOCUSES ONLY ON THE OTHER PERSON

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

yeah... congrats, this is what optimus has to deal with AGFJGSHDF

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

HE WANTS TO SHAKE HIM (GENTLY)

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

HE IS THE ONLY FREAKING DOCTOR LEFT HE HAS TO BE WHATEVER ANYONE NEEDS HE CANT JUST SEND THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

;-; ;-; ;-; Wheeljack has withdrawn into his cage; too angry and too sensitive over the entire thing; he wasn't expecting any of this

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

dude i am sorry again this is why even on a meta level ratchet GRIPS ME BY THE THROAT because sometimes OTHER PPL DONT NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS IF IT DOESNT COME UP obviously i cannot predict what wj would decide but just for example sake: if he did tell him yes, i would be more comfortable with a friend taking care of me, ratchet would finally go driving with him or answer personal questions it is no longer about ratchet just being open for his own sake, but in an effort to connect with someone for their comfort, it's not about him... despite, you know. being about him. AGFJSGDf on the other hand, if wj was like 'i feel betrayed and hurt and i don't want you to touch me without it being necessary' ratchet would also respect that as well as apologize, again. and he would cut down on any banter, since that seems to be a method of friendship bonding. ratchet is fully prepared to do either of these potential outcomes (regardless of how he may personally feel) HOWEVER IF WHEELJACK COMES UP WITH A THIRD UNPREDICTABLE OPTION HE WILL ONCE AGAIN BE TAKEN OFF GUARD AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM AGJFSGJDGF

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

[quotes the betrayal option above] This, Wheeljack was originally feeling. But I knew he was just angry; he knew he was just angry, and he needed to disappear for a little bit to calm down. God, he's desperately trying to not get pissed off again. -sobs softly..- I hear him almost growling, so offended; the gall of Ratchet 'so concerned' that he doesn't want his patients to ever feel taken advantage.. but he thinks he's low down enough to make Ratchet 'become friends' with him for his future medical comfort? And worse, he thinks he'll be all right with something fake like that. Oh, yeah. No. He's still upset. ;-;

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

idk if it helps but ratch definitely doesn't view it as fake. he would simply be setting aside more time and making an eFFORT to pursue that instead of keeping to himself. he absolutely did not even CONSIDER that wheeljack would think he was making him do anything. more of.... if this is what you prefer, i will try

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-sobbing- He's using the wrong words? I think? Meta!Wheeljack is spiraling in rage. All he keeps hearing is, "If given the option, I would keep things strictly professional, but this is about ensuring your comfort if I must see to you medically, so I will make time to get to know you and develop a friendly rapport with you because that's what you want" And I realize that's been the crux of the issue between Ratchet and Optimus, right? That's what you two were saying earlier? Wheeljack is trying to remove himself from the equation and just try to understand what Ratchet is saying, to try to understand where he's coming from.. but it's difficult. He's never been the type to chase someone, platonic or romantic, if they genuinely didn't want anything to do with him, and he believes Ratchet that he read all of this wrong; he'd misunderstood something crucial somewhere, believing that Ratchet had offered friendship. So he's dealing with sudden, unexpected rejection

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

ratchet's forwardness/blunt wording definitely does not help his situation, wheeljack's perspective is VERY UNDERSTANDABLE AND MAKES PERFECT SENSE unfortunately, that is a consequence of ratch drastically undervaluing who he is instead of WHAT he is. wheeljack wants a personal connection, and ratchet shuts him out because that is vulernable and less important than his job. ratchet isn't the type to chase someone either, is the thing- if you want to be my friend, i'll try if you want to stay mad at me, okay but if you're hurt, i will take care of you

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

everything is less important than his job and it's very sad he and op both are basically trying to exist as concepts rather than people

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

that's a good way to word it and the repressed PERSON inside both of them is so overwhelmed and hurting and exhausted and just wants to curl up in a ball and CRY but they cannot do that. they are responsible for everyone else.

[a few hours later]

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-lets Wheeljack leave to collect his thoughts regarding Ratchet; ends up annoying a couple of Decepticons- Ratchet, he can't be left unsupervised. C'mon.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

WHEEZING HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO HE HAS PUT HIMSELF ON HOLD

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-CRYING- OPTIMUS DO SOMETHING

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

HE'LL GIVE HIM A BRIdgE???? DOES THAT HELP????

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

PROBABLY NOT. HE'S OUT HERE WANTING TO PICK A FIGHT Two high-rankin' Decepticons? I'm blessed with choices.

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

FGHJKHGFDH OPTIMUS WILL GO RESCUE HIM

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

ratchet will pace

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

AWWW SDKJSDHKJDFHS RATCHET NOO Now he feels bad.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

he didnt just STOP WORRYING HE MEANS WELL HE JUST HAS PERSONAL EMOTIONAL AND EXISTENTIAL STRUGGLES

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-cue his 'ugh, fine' gif if Optimus and Ratchet team up and badger him enough with wheeljack, no-

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

AJHGFDFGJK THEY CARE ABOUT HIM

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

HE FEELS SO BAD. HE DIDN'T MEAN IT, OKAY? YOU KNOW THIS JUST.. HAPPENS. AGAIN, HE CAN'T BE LEFT UNSUPERVISED. HE'LL COME HOME.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

ratchet isnt even sure if it's okay to ask if he's alright. maybe he is still moody. maintains respectful distance and Only looks him over.

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-SOBBING- I FEEL HORRIBLE. NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO GIVE HIS BAD MOODS ANY CREDENCE OR LEEWAY. IT'S ON HIS BINGO CARD. IT'S ALL BARK, I PROMISE. As an ally, being able to trigger a bad mood just means you mean something to him. Can't get under his plating if he doesn't let his walls down.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

ratchet and wheeljack having struggles because they are BOTH DOMS WITH ISSUES WITH VULNERABLITY BUT THEY HAVE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT METHODS OF MANAGING THOSE WALLS WHEEZE

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-CRYING GROSSLY- EXACTLY

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

of course they care!!! ratchet has bad moods because he feels bad about something. ratchet caused wj to feel bad. WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT GIVE IT ANY LEEWAY THEY FEEL WAY TOO DEEPLY FOR THAT RATCH AND OP ARE NOT THE ROWDY WRECKER MENTALITY AT ALL THEY WERE / ARE BOTH SOFT NERDS

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Wheeljack avoiding looking in Ratchet's direction, let alone at him as he comes back in, heading toward his makeshift workbench. He could have stayed in his starship, or bypassed the command center entirely and gone to his and Bulkhead's quarters. But no. He just exvents and settles into his seat, picking up one of the unfinished components scattered messily on the table; chooses to at least keep his back to Ratchet. E.M. field is remarkably soft, loose around his frame in spite what happened earlier. No, he's not 'moody' anymore; just still contemplating how he's going to approach this issue between them without him reacting negatively again.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

Ratchet observes and analyzes quietly... But understands the need and desire for processing space. He does not approach or bother him, since he is uninjured. After a bit, he will return to his own focuses. wj: worried about a negative reaction ratch: LITERALLY JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO TELL HIM WHAT HIS PREFERENCES / EXPECTATIONS ARE FOR A DOCTOR

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

RATCHET, NO IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE AND HE'S NOT GOING TO ALLOW IT TO BE THAT SIMPLE, NOT FOR YOU "FOR A DOCTOR" HE'S GOING TO SHAKE HIM

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

WHEEZE optimus finally has a comrade in this aspect

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

CRYING

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Clearly, they're going to have to have a very candid, pointed-questions conversation. He realizes that he's missed several cues and just filled in the blanks with assumptions about their -- 'friendship'? Well, they'll start there - What's your definition of a friend? Let me give you my definition in turn.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

Ratchet..... considers this fair, but honestly has to. Think. About it. Ends up resting a hand on his jaw and contemplating. He cannot just say Optimus.

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

He could use Optimus as the standard?

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

HE IS LEGIT STRUGGLING HE'S HAVING A MILD CRISIS BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DEFINE FRIEND wj really played this well because he couldnt baSE HIS ANSWER off of whatever wheeljack defined it as

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

THAT MEANS WHEELJACK SNIFFED OUT THE START OF THE PROBLEM -SOBS- He really is in a bad way, omg

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

he starts trying to create a definition and realizes ... no that's adoption requirements ... no that's patient ideals ... no that's what i fucking love about optimus which we're not gonna talk about IM SITTING HERE LIKE RATCHET???

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Wheeljack is just.. weakening under the sadness of it, staring at Ratchet, astonished. And all at once, is very forgiving of what happened and is willing to be patient and understanding with this.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

he is SILENT FOR A WHILE... and because he is very expressive despite having part of his lower face covered, his squinted optics widen and adjust occasionally, moments of realization only to disregard it shortly after because no... that doesnt work. he ends up looking up human standards. millions of years old workaholic is struggling.

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

HE'S THINKING SO HARD -SOBS-

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Wheeljack is trying to not laugh. "That's cheating, Doc. I asked about your definition."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"I will make my own definition but there was nothing said about not LOOKING at others definitions." HUFF im sitting here reading definitions of friend and honestly? it doesn't help. the general requirements for a friend overlap with other categories. it does not save him. ive read several now

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Would it be a surprise that Wheeljack knew that's what the problem is here, catching on pretty quickly just now.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

RESORTS TO CLASSIFYING HOW HE GETS ALONG WITH THE PPL WHO HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT TO HIM IN HIS LIFE AND ELIMINATING THE ADOPTED OR OTHER SCIENTISTS HE TALKED TO OCCASIONALLY OR THE PATIENTS WHO WERE NICE AND REALLY THE ONLY TWO HE CAN THINK OF IS HIS FRIEND FROM WHEN HE WAS AN APPRENTICE AND ORION PAX BEFORE HE ENDED UP BEING A PATIENT TOO even in team prime, despite sharing sass with arcee occasionally, he doesnt know if she considers him a friend. and orion pax/optimus is in the room and he wants to marry him so he's not even sure about THAT now. he is having A TIME.

ATLAS-ORDAINED:

SOBBING JUST airfoil one friend that doesn't overlap other categories

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

the medic finally looks at Wheeljack and answers, "I am realizing that the definition of a friend overlaps into various other categories for me. It depends on many circumstances and the individuals' personalities." "… I do not have a clear answer to give you." and i have tried

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Wheeljack is just sitting there on the bench, turned around to face Ratchet, resting an arm across his thigh as he watches, listens. His optics brighten at the first half of the answer. "Good job, Ratch."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"???" baffled HE DID NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION PROPERLY WHAT DO U MEAN GOOD JOB IVE FAILED THE RANDOM QUIZ EVEN THO IT WAS OPEN BOOK

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"Maybe I wasn't bein' fair, though. I could tell you've just learned that you can't categorize 'friendship' as it's own thing. There's always goin' to be circumstances that overlap into that box. Majority of the time, folks don't discover a friend in someone by just lookin' at them for the first time on a random day, on a random street junction. Things got to happen first. "You didn't set optics on Optimus one day and instantly decide 'friend', Doc."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"That is true... Although Orion Pax was kind and friendly. That did not automatically make him a friend during a first meeting." point taken

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"There y'a go. Good to know that you know that distinction."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"Mmgh." he is. vaguely. embarrassed. which he is KEEPING TO HIMSELF.

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

You have no idea how endearing Wheeljack finds Ratchet. No idea.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

i ALSO find him endearing THIS GUY HAD TO HAVE FAMILY VS BLOOD RELATION EXPLAINED TO HIM BY A HUMAN CHILD

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-SOBS- IT'S BEAUTIFUL "But like I said, I wasn't really bein' fair when I asked that. Friendship comes in all varieties of flavors and depths. Personally? Before the war, I had all types of friends. "Workin' construction, I was friendly with everyone; also a distinction, Ratch. Bein' friendly with each other doesn't equate to 'friendship'. Bein' friendly is a societal expectation. "But I did have coworker friends - people I preferred bein' around and talkin' to while on the clock. 'Shootin' the shit' as the humans say it; casual, meaningless conversations about sports, politics, food to pass the time. "And out of those coworker friends, a servoful spilled out into bein' my drinkin' buddies. Friends that I liked spendin' a piece of that freedom we get all earned after clockin' out. Precious stuff, that free time. Wouldn't just spend it on just anyone, y'a know? "And then out of my drinkin' buddies, only two came to be trustin' and understandin' enough to haul my drunken, brawl-beaten aft back to one of our places to sleep it off, and they trusted me to do the same for them. "You get an idea of where I'm goin' with this?"

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

He listens without a word, although he frowns at 'meaningless conversations.' If Ratchet was having a conversation, it usually meant or resulted from something. He had never been good at pointless small talk. "..... I suppose I qualify as the responsible and sober friend category, considering I had to deal with a drunken fellow apprentice during my medical training years." he does not know if that's what he was going for, but he tries

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"Careful usin' the words 'qualify' and 'category', Doc. I can tell y'a like puttin' things inside boxes with clean, straight lines; neat and tidy, no overflowing, no mixing. Can't have that here. But you got the gist of it. "Everyone has different sorts of friends, and how we decide those friends' roles in our lives is dependent on mutual needs and wants, y'know? Connection and chemistry. Friends are supposed t' improve our lives; maybe even open us t' new experiences that we can explore together. "Best part is that y'a don't have to explain the reason why you want to be someone's friend. Most times, it's just a connection thing; a likability thing. Outsider could ask you why y'a like someone in particular, and it's none of their damn business. Don't have to defend yourself to anyone 'cause if they got to ask, then they still won't get it if you were able to explain it."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

Again, Ratchet listens, and eventually sighs, "You-u-u-u asked me a loaded question." SNEAKY!!! FIEND!!!! But he has taken away important information not only in analyzing the concept, but also in analyzing Wheeljack.

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"I did. But I didn't realize how foreign the concept of friendship was to y'a, Ratchet. That, of itself, is pretty foreign to me. "This war has taken a lot of friends from everyone, Doc. Both sides. I'll never underappreciate how damn lucky I am that Bulkhead is as difficult to take offline as I am. But I'm a lil' greedy, y'know? Not used to only connectin' with one 'bot."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"I understand the core values I view for the term, my struggle was in trying to create a unique definition that did not include patients, adopted, or... otherwise. "Trust is something I had for fellow Autobots, even without a close bond. "Comfort is something that requires more effort. "And time, is not one I can define."

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"Mhm."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"... You have shown noticable patience and the desire to understand or explain your perspective... Thank you." he did not want to end up in a fight. wj is being serious for him and it is appreciated

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"Just another misunderstandin', what happened earlier, and 'm sorry for that. From what I can tell at this point, we're, uh.. just scratchin' the surface with each other. But that's if you still even want to. That's was my destination with all of this, so I'll just be crystal with y'a this time: I feel a connection with you, Ratch. It's been awhile since Bulkhead, and even longer since the two before him. I'm not askin' for a surface level, fellow Autobot, doctor-patient friendship. I'm aimin' for a lifetime-level one here. Do y'a understand?" He suddenly puts up his servos, palms out, his expression solemn. "But I don't want you respondin' to this right now. Want you to chew on all this for a little while. Maybe talk to your 'friend', Optimus." His lip plates twitch at the teasing lilt he tacked onto the word 'friend'.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

… Ratchet notes that he does, genuinely, want to be his friend, or to at least, connect with him seriously. For all of Wheeljack's less serious behaviors, he had an admirable level of emotional analysis and consideration, even when he wasn't trying. Ratchet indeed doesn't respond immediately, because the last time he did, it led to Wheeljack feeling hurt. He does squint at the emphasis on 'friend' about Optimus, however. "Optimus does not determine who or how I socialize, but other than that, very well. I will think about all of the information, as you recommend."

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Amusement dances across Wheeljack's fascia. "Didn't mean it like that. Was just sayin' that you could talk to the Commander about this; figure, bein' such longtime friends.. you've confided in him things deeper than this."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"He is still figuring you out as well, I doubt it would help," he muses. "You are a unique individual."

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

"Oh~? Sounds like I got m'self a twofer on the docket." "Well. That is certainly the nicest description I've been given."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

HE IS NOT GOING TO ASK WHAT HE MEANS BY THAT AND CHOOSES TO ASSUME IT IS INNOCENT JOKING

[...]

ratch is going to think about it. he has absorbed a lot and is buffering about it. but he understands wheeljack is trying and legitimately in his own way wants to get to know him / form a connection to him which is... touching, really sO HIS EVENTUAL ANSWER MIGHT BE A WEEK LATER will be asking if wheeljack wants to go for a walk. n o t a drive. a Walk. because ratchet would rather walk.

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

The longer it takes for the conversation, the better in Wheeljack's eyes.

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

ratch is unfortunately not just cured because in the end he learned what he originally wanted to know about wj being interested in actually getting to know him in his own way so he is focusing on allowing that. but he's trying to do it in his own way, even if it is very different from wj's. IT'S NOT THAT EASY BUT HE IS tRYING aka, well, i'm still going to go out of my way intentionally because otherwise you're going to have a long wait, but i'll determine the hows and whens SIMILAR TO ORIGINAL INTENDED SOLUTION BUT HIS ATTITUDE ABOUT IT IS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT MORE SELF FOCUSED

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

I suppose it'll take Wheeljack getting some roadblocks in place to keep them from steering in this direction again. What sort of roadblocks? Even Wheeljack doesn't know yet. Might take them locking horns a couple more times (but he hopes not).

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

it won't be intentional, not the serious kind. ratch will genuinely be attempting to share what interests him because that is what he does with a less casual 'friend'

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

-SOBS- Happy Wrecker noises

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

SO FOR STARTERS WE'RE GOING FOR A PEACEFUL WALK IDC IF IT BORES YOU welcome to a mountain range where it's rather COLD and ratchet shifts his plating a bit to take it in easily and enjoy it "...... My metaphorical engine runs warm by default, as a human might say. The desert is not comfortable for me during the day, only colder nights. It's not serious to my overall health, but it is a minor annoyance. That is a reason I rest on the roof of the base occasionally, at night." he EYES him silently afterward, waiting for some remark about the fact that he runs hot

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

The medic would not have to wait long for that remark; however, it might not have been what he was anticipating. "How warm is 'warm' in your world? Solar-level heat?" A shiver suddenly gripped the shorter mech, the involuntary movement causing his armour to rattle and his tension cables to creak a little. Wheeljack exvented the residual sensations from the tremor, the heated air clouding, and he glanced at Ratchet. "My engine runs hot, too, but maybe not whatever the hell you got goin' on."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

He studies him quietly, then chuckles, "Not quite," before looking elsewhere. Might focus on a bird nest, or a squirrel, etc. "On this world, I like snow, while most of the others do not. It is an intriguing weather for Earth to me, in combination with the cold element… I commonly scouted relevant environments during the more peaceful period here, before Megatron returned."

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Wheeljack made a small, noncommittal noise, acknowledging that he was listening. Inwardly, he opened up his system's thermal gauge across his HUD and took temporary control, increasing his internal heat output. "You make it sound like this is the first time you've seen snow, Doc. You weren't ever dispatched or stationed on an snowball planet? Or is it just that Earth's somethin' special?"

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

"I have experienced similar, but the molecular structure and composition is different. There are no… harmful or corrosive aspects to its composition. It also manifests in various forms. Snow can be powdery, sticky, or in unfortunate circumstances, chunks of ice, which I admit are less than pleasant to feel, and damaging to non-alien vehicles." hail kinda sucks admittedly

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

His lip plates quirked. "Think I've seen all variations of weather, both cosmic and planetary. 'Specially the real nasty ones. That was a go-to favorite for the 'Cons, y'know that? Strategically put their most invaluable laboratories in difficult to reach places. "In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't whine. I'd take Earth's fluffy lil' water crystals over the nightmare of molten glass raindrops."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

Ratchet shifted his focus from the creature in the limbs of a tree back to Wheeljack as he continued speaking, and then nodded, "Indeed." It was certainly far better than a hazardous atmosphere. "If you want to… share, an outing occasionally-" He had to restrain himself from saying 'drag' or 'take' me out because of HOW THAT COULD BE TAKEN. "-I am informing you that cooler weather is preferable to me, if you wanted to know a method of lowering my grouchiness." It didn't have to be a mountain range, or involve snow, but he's pretty sure he made his point.

SUCKMYBEARINGS:

Wheeljack's optic ridges flew upward.. and a slow grin began its journey across his fascia, optics brightening significantly. Up until this point, he had figured the unexpected walk together had been a one-off thing, but it had been a touching gesture all the same. Ratchet offering to make it.. well, not a regular occurrence, but at least an obtainable one had Wheeljack's spark twirling because it finally clicked into place for him: The lil' ray of sunshine was actually trying. Merciful Primus. The Wrecker had to turn his helm away, acting like he caught sight of something between the trees, when in reality, he was biting back the prior grin that was morphing into something insufferably pleased and bastardly. Ah, Ratchet was just somethin' else. ".. Duly noted. Think I might even have some locations in mind, Doc."

AUTOBOTMEDIC:

As Wheeljack slowly grinned, Ratchet slowly frowned, wondering if he would still manage to turn his careful wording around into a flirt. But, he didn't, and the medic relaxed. He turned to resume walking, occasionally ducking under or around tree limbs. "I have several of my own. I did get out more before your arrival, during said peaceful period… as difficult as that may be to believe."

[0saippua]

GOBSHITE'S ADVENTURES - PART 3

(PART 1 & PART 2)

Sit down, your favorite story about dumb chump is about to continue.

8) La discussion civilisée se poursuit

After the long, tiring, useless and hollow debate from the 2 earlier parts, the same old claptrap wheels continued to grind by new response from chucklefuckle:

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✉️ CHUCKLEFUCK: I have yet to hear a Reason behind the decline, so far (REALLY?), all I hear is Excuses, and entertainment can go both ways, but to be fair, it’s probably in the Genes by now and I don’t mean Mine, so I highly suggest you take these conversations seriously instead of being either selfish, lazy or/and greedy. Why do you claim my project is free then when it is in fact a Collaboration? Again, the only type of persons who would say such a thing before even hearing my offer out are those who are selfish, lazy or/and greedy, TBH, I really wish you aren't one of them, the MLP Fandom is infested with too much already and so far, 1 in 200 or 300 are even close of being worthy of the title Brony, believe me when I said so, I've tried. Don’t think you’re the only one I confronted about this, and admittedly, most of the people in Fandom really are Criminals, they just follow the thought/trends of “Since there’s many people are doing it so it must be Legal” when it’s not, however, I do not believe that ALL the Fans of the franchise are bad people, Mostly Yes but not All, lastly, if the OC’s truly are Original, as in NOT “Inspired” by other Copyrighted Franchise then that’s okay, in terms of Laws and Legalization that is, now the only questions is the Intentions behind them.

Confirming you’re indeed not from the UK so that the Laws about Copyrights wouldn’t affect you aren’t Justified Reason enough? Don’t lump me in like the rest of them Fake Artist Wannabe, unlike them, I have been a good Law Abiding Citizen, if you want to draw then draw, I’m not stopping you from doing what you want but I don’t see how and/or why that should be posted if you’re just doing it to show off if it’s related to an Existing Franchise. You called it Harassing, I called it Asking, if you want to play it that way then go Rob a Bank then if you’re fine gaining money Illegally, you Thief (lmao), if you want to call what I'm doing as Harassing, then I can call what you're doing as either Stealing or Extortions. Says the one who’s using MLP for nothing more than Profits, you’d know a lot about Manipulating Techniques now wouldn’t you? I’ve told you, I’m no stranger to Hate’s and Accusations. I’ll accept that as a Compliment then, knowing I do struck a nerve of how true it is that you’re indeed only making MLP Arts for profits, you’re welcome to Prove me wrong BTW, if you can that is. The same Cartoon where you’re or the rest of those Fake Artists trying to take advantage of by using their name 's and Popularity to gaining Profits Illegally? I’d say that’s a very popular Cartoon and Characters, are you in Grade School BTW? Because then these arguments would make so much sense, and I don’t mean me included since I am already old enough to have a Job. Just being clear, there are people that think I like to delay replying just because I can, but I’m not that low nor Free of time. I didn’t, like I said, you’re the one who’s being Dramatic and making things Personal, all I ever wanted from anyone is their help to make this project of mine a reality, I didn’t say you aren’t a “Great Character” but you aren’t Proving to be one either based on all of your declination of my offer/project, BTW, I’m from Malaysia so English isn’t my first Language. If that were true, you wouldn't be posting those MLP Pics online and demanding Moneys for them now would you? Or is there another reason behind the Posting and Profiting of MLP Franchise? I've told you, we still have a VERY LONG conversation ahead of us.

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Sure thing.

These chats were good entertainment, but god honestly, one can take only so much stupid for one week. I swear, the arguments between me and my 2 year old niece about drawing to the wallpapers or throwing diapers out the window have had more fuel in them than this irrational circlejerking shit.

Indeed, my lack of fuel was present on the following response:

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✉️ SOAP: Aren’t gonna even argue about this shit since nothing seems to go trough your skull. This shit is getting slowly just tiring and annoying. I did you a favor and removed all of my art from my account so you can sleep your night with dry sheets without need to worry about me gaining a half penny by posting them on public or cartoon ponies being misused. Horay!

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I kind of lost my interest on inkbunny at this point (partly thanks to chucklefuck and partly because that site really wasn't my thing), so I decided to remove the pictures, wipe off the profile page and other content (to kind of kindly hint potential followers etc abt my plans to fuck off) and planned to remove the whole ass account at some point. Obviously, If I had been smart I could have done it right away right there, but god damn, the little pissant in my rump wanted to see what the fuck chucklefuck will answer to the auf Wiedersehen.

9) final chapter where little red riding hood goes home and 3 little pigs are turned into ribs

Indeed, I received one more response before I kind of gave up the hopeless ass debate:

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✉️ CHUCKLEFUCK: There's something wrong with Everyone, you and me are No Exception, I don’t believe in something called “Perfection”, anyway, you’re the one who claims my messages are “Entertaining”, not my fault you decided to push someone’s who simply won’t give up without a Good Reason first AND that are Very Passionate in MLP and Arts their buttons. You do actually, you posted those Pics to gain attention, now you have Mine, and I don’t let someone who uses MLP for their own Benefits off very Easily. In short, I’ll treat you the same way you have/will treat me. you posted those MLP pics without thinking of the consequences, and you want to talk about dangerous now?

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I have heard of the serious ass consequences about uploading pictures of Donald Duck bonking Scrooge to the duckrump, but never abt the severe consequences of uploading/crafting pony arts.

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✉️ CHUCKLEFUCK: Seeing them in person makes a lot of difference than arguing with them online, by the sounds of it, maybe you should take a walk in the Real World instead. You did YOURSELF a favor, we both know you’re not doing this to save anyone but yourself, if you are then prove it, you really think deleting those MLP Pics mean they won’t exist anymore? If so then you’re even more Naive than I am.

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Gobshite apparently decided that I removed my art because I wanted to hide my cartoon pony shaped war crimes against humanity and jumped into some wild ass conclusion about my for sure malign and criminal motives and how I can't hide from the chucklefuck and shit.

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I know you exist BECAUSE of those pics, I know you can do MLP because of those Pics you posted, if not then you won’t even hear from me in the first place but now you do, and how’s that “Half Penny” working out for you? Also, This is the Internet, just because you delete them in Inkbunny doesn’t mean they’re not available elsewhere, like for example:- https:// twitter.com/ saippuaku It's typically a weakness that all of those who enjoys attentions which normally have Over-Inflated Ego would have. You can also delete them there if you wanted to, just know I have Full Screenshot of that entire Page, don't believe me? here's the proof - https://mega.nz/folder/UOxAwbQA#P5-bk3tLXO5kKPtLdPN8lw For what it's worth, I really hope you're not one of "Those" type of People.

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Sure thing.

Right now the link goes to empty folder but at time it included screenshots of my social media accounts full of my ponycrimes (art).

At this point shit turned kind of creepy. Arguing like fucking idiot is one thing, but archiving my shit as proof of something (ponycrimes) was something else.

Friend, who I updated about the clodpole's replies, was starting to get actually lil concerned about chuchklefuck (again turbo secret name):

Being lil tired of this shit as well, I decided to follow friend's advice with lazy route and banned chucklefuck's account. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded to leave fuckface to argue there alone since I had no plans to stay on the site, but this felt like the grown ass big boi option at the time.

Of course blocking fucklecucker's account didn't stop the piss parade. Chucklefuck had to return once more to share his last brilliant take:

Sure thing. Hope you felt like you achieved something in your life by saving a few cartoon animals.

Out of my morbid curiosity and because im lil asshole, I wanted to test something. I made new account with some smooth kawaii name and told friend to draw me some notorious mlp pony that I posted to my new turbo secret account.

For fucking no one's surprise, this account soon got lil too familiar message from our old friend, chucklefuck (account doesn't exist anymore so i arent gonna censor shit):

Replying to this shit could have brought up another brilliant 6 page long debate but we have got enough of that shit so no thanks.

For no one's surprise, chucklefuck's accounts were soon banned from inkbunny. I was little surprised no one had kicked the moron out of the site earlier if the level of the debate was as shit as it was with me. Dude literally had account on art site only to garble and harass people drawing mlp art.

TL;DR: In the end, I haven't seen chucklefuck since the banhammer did its job and good so. Lets never meet again, schlong. Also fuck u.

The lesson in this mess of a story is A) If someone grinds your gears or rustles your jimmies, don't be scared to block the asshole B) you don't owe people shit C) draw ur own ass content instead of weaseling that task for some strangers by calling the imho questionable division of work "collaboration".