#based on a chat discussion lmao

[jazzy-art-time]

Local man taken out by a single Modelo

[gu6chan]

work related question does anyone have any fun anime for likely 12-14 year olds that to their ulta-conservative conspiracy theory parents would have no objectionable content whatsoever that's not like . pokemon. i live in the most conservative area in michigan btw /hj

[illum1z]

snow cream

Roommate!Yunho x F!Reader

summary: Six months of living under the same roof, and you barely knew the guy. You both always came and went, to and from your jobs and school, only ever interacting in the kitchen or the living room late at night when you wanted a glass of water or he wanted to watch TV. But when winter rolls around and the snowstorms get heavy, maybe somehow you could warm up to each other…

tags: snowed in, forced proximity(?), attempt at humor, fluff, mutual pining, hand kink (duh), soft mdom, petnames (baby, angel face, pretty girl, slut etc.), Yu LOVES touching you, handjob, nipple sucking, fingering, tension, unprotected sex (BOOOOO), lotus positon, he talks alot, multiple orgasms, aftercare, NOT PROOFREAD

wc: 7.2k

notes: sort of based around a nsfw audio I listened to a couple years ago LMAO.

tracklist: bad liar, poison, intro: singularity

“Reports are flowing in from the NWS about upcoming snowstorms, which are expected to reach record levels; the surrounding area is expecting up to 6 inches. Officials are closing roads and the district schools are shutting down until-”

“Just my luck, huh?” You switched off your phone and rested your head against your steering wheel with an exasperated sigh. You had seen the beginning of the snowfall that week, just light flakes here and there, but they weren't sticking.

But of course mother nature had to give a big fuck you and mess with your plans that weekend with 6 inches of snow. Roads were closing, and so were the stores, so you needed to be in and out before the snowstorm picked up.

You rubbed your temples before switching your car off, getting out, and walking into the grocery store with your original plan in mind.

You had planned to pick up some ingredients for some appetizers you were going to bring to one of your friends' birthdays, but you had frowned when they texted your group chat, saying the party had been cancelled because of snowfall.

That's what led you to the news, deflating your excitement. Instead of being here for groceries, you were here to stock up on supplies. And so was everybody else. The store was packed with people. Mothers are rushing and snatching boxes of cereal off the shelf. Dads are stocking up on batteries and jugs of water. The poor employees were at war with the panicking public. Quickly as you could, you grabbed a cart and picked up some essentials. Batteries. Toilet paper. Bottled water. Some nonperishables. While walking past the home section, you noticed a couple of displays where they were selling large fleece blankets.

You eyed them for a second, debating if you should get one.

Maybe two.

One for you, one for your roommate. Jeong Yunho. 

You had met him on Craigslist whilst looking for roommate listings. You decided community college was best for your budget years ago, but you needed to find somewhere else to live. Soon. Living with your parents is not for the weak.

You spent hours on different websites, desperate to find somewhere close and affordable. Maybe also a roommate who has a low chance of murdering you in your sleep.

You stumbled across the listing one night, hope slowly dwindling at the awful market.

2 bedrooms. 2 baths. 600 per month. Cats are welcome. Email for more information.

Immediately, you jumped on it because there was no way you would be able to find anything cheaper than this, unfortunately. You emailed him all your information. About your job and schedule, and made sure to mention that you would like to bring your cat, Patches. About a week later, you had driven to the house to look around and discuss final plans and agreements. Along with you, you brought your cat so she could become accustomed to the new living space.

The house was cute and quaint, a little grey and white bungalow with a few bushes on either side of the steps that led up to the black door. A decent-sized front yard, neat and green, with a driveway with just enough space for two cars. Perfect. 

When you met the person who posted the listing, you had pulled up to the house, parking your car behind another one already in the driveway. He was on the porch, in the process of carrying some bags inside the house.. When he saw you, he waved for you to follow him inside. He showed you to your room, talked about rent and policies. You both established some privacy rules, and he was petting your cat the entire time. He seemed to take a liking to her immediately. Yunho had you sign some things, and then that was it. Simple, fast, and easy. A few days later, you had moved your stuff in, and from then on, you and Yunho barely interacted.

He said that he’s usually at one of his friends' houses, at work or class, or in his room playing games. This was perfect for you; you enjoyed your privacy, and if you were being honest, you were nervous around Yunho.

He had this boyish charm to him that made your heart flutter; he was tall and spoke to you gently, as if he were too loud, he might scare you. He had dark brown hair that parted in the middle, with bangs that sometimes covered his eyes. And you couldn’t help but feel ashamed that your gaze always drifted to his hands whenever you saw him. Large and slender, the veins prominent like a roadmap.

 He always made sure that you knew where he was going when he went somewhere with a text like “At friends,” or “Out drinking.”

Another thing you had noticed while living with him was that it was like he stole your cat from you. IF you couldn't find your cat anywhere, it was safe to assume she was in Yunho's room. She followed him around the apartment all the time, whenever he sat on the couch to watch TV, she was in his lap. Whenever he was in the kitchen cooking, she was perched on the counter watching intently.

One day, you came home and saw Yunho on the couch with her. Usually, she’d get up and greet you by rubbing her face against your legs. Instead, she stayed put, gave you a curt meow, and that was it.

You walked by the back of the couch and narrowed your eyes at her, mouthing the words “traitor” before retreating to your room.  

You ran your hand over the navy blue fleece blanket that was folded next to a similar white one. Making up your mind, you dropped the blue blanket in your cart as well as the white one. After some more shopping, you checked out and began your drive home, the snow beginning to fall again. 

Your mind wandered back to your roommate again. You're pretty sure he was at a friend's house right now, you just hoped he would make it home safe. Driving home through the snow was certainly a feat. Everyone on the road opted to go under the speed limit in hopes they wouldn't go sliding at a sharp turn. A blanket of white began to accumulate on the ground, and it was growing increasingly difficult to see through the snow swirling in the air.

After a grueling and stressful journey, you returned to the house safely. The yard was a pure, sparkling white, untouched like a fresh, clean blanket. You gathered your bags and stepped out of the car, trudging through the snow as it only continued to climb higher and higher. As you suspected, Yunho’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

You made it inside, the warmth of the heater immediately making you shed your jacket as you dropped the bags on the table. As soon as you did, your phone buzzed. You pulled it out to see a text from Yunho.

“Be home later.” Simple and quick. You thought for a moment whether you should text back. Your fingers began typing, and then you hit send.

“Be safe.” A second later, it buzzed again.

“Will do.”

You felt stupid for the way your heart clenched a little. You could count on three hands how many conversations you’ve had with him that lasted longer than a minute. Words are always fleeting between you two, always too busy for anything more than a good morning or an update on bills. But Yunho always responded to your texts with earnestness, replying fast and confidently. It was never anything deep, but whenever you asked what he wanted for dinner, he always responded with whatever it was he wanted, with a smiley face and a thank you.

He never really engaged in any more conversation than that, but for some reason, you could tell her cared more than he let on.

You put away all the things you bought, deciding to place the blanket you bought for Yunho on the couch so he’d see it when he got home. You cleaned up a little, because if you’re going to be snowed in, at least let the place be neat.

After some light cleaning, you had a shower and decided that for tonight’s dinner, you’d make some chili, so that way you would have leftovers for the upcoming days. Tonight was usually Yunho’s night for meals, but you were feeling froggy.

Connecting your speaker to your phone, you cleaned up your area and put on some music, getting ready to make dinner. You were in your zone, chopping tomatoes and browning the beef. The music flowed from your speaker, and the house was filled with a cozy feeling. You were an avid big light hater, so a few lamps and candles here and there set a soothing ambient lighting. The sun was setting, and the snow was picking up, the wind howling outside.

After another hour or so, dinner was done, and Yunho still wasn’t home. It was 8 pm. He’s usually out past 11, but because of the storm, you had assumed he’d be back earlier. You decided to shoot him a test, for your own mental fortitude. The snow had calmed, gentle snowfall dusting your windows.

“Are you on your way home? I made chili.” Send.

You waited a minute or two. No response. You rested your elbows on the kitchen island, waiting for his reply.

The three bouncing dots appeared at the bottom of your messages, and he was typing.

It stopped for a second, then started up again.

“Can you come outside?” Your eyebrows raised in surprise at such a weird question. You thought he was with his friends. He was typing again.

“Down the street.”

“Stuck in the snow.”

“Please.” 

You were so confused. Quickly, you slipped on your coat and your shoes by the door. You slipped your phone in your pocket and opened your front door. The cold hit your face like a mallet, and immediately your nose started to burn. But it was beautiful outside. Fresh snow everywhere. It was dark outside well into the night, but the snow was so white it was like it provided a little glow of its own. Snowflakes flurried from the sky, landing all over your clothes. You stepped into the front yard, and half of your calf sank completely beneath the surface of the fluff.

You, albeit with some trouble, waded through your front yard and stepped out onto the icy street nearly losing your footing and busting your ass. The neighborhood was silent, not a soul in sight, the end of the street being swallowed in black emptiness. 

But on the other end of the street, a lone car pulled off to the curb, headlights on as the snow swirled around the warm beams of light in a dancing flurry.

Beside it was your roommate, waving at you, bundled in a coat and scarf, grey sweatpants, and a desperate look on his face.

You started to walk towards him, doing your best not to slip and fall. “What the hell is going on?” You exclaim as you walk towards him. His tires were buried in the snow, and his windshield wipers were swaying steadily, clearing the flakes off the glass.

When you were about 6 steps away from reaching him, you began to lose your footing, the ice seeming slicker than before.

“Careful-careful-careful!” Yunho reached his hands forward and took a step in an attempt to catch you, but it was too late. 

“Shit!” your feet slipped from underneath you and after a couple slips and slides fighting to stay up, you ultimately fell directly on your ass, a sharp pain shooting up your tailbone.

You groaned, hand reaching back and rubbing your lower back. Immediately, the wet ice soaked your pants uncomfortably, and you already knew you’d wake up tomorrow with a nasty bruise.

Silence fell as you sat in defeat and mulled your pain, but Yunho was oddly quiet. You raised your eyes to look at him. He had one hand over his mouth. His eyebrows were raised in shock, and his eyes slowly narrowed as he took you in.

“Laugh. I dare you.” You glared at him, wincing at the sharp pain crawling up your tailbone.

“Jeong Yunho, you are a child.” You rolled your eyes as he busted out into a fit of laughter, one hand on his car while the other stayed on his mouth. You turned and got ready to get up so you could hit him.

“N-No wait stop!” he shouted between fits of giggles, his arms coming down and trying to pull you up by your arms, while simultaneously avoiding your violent hands.

“I’m sorry, let me just- hold on- stop trying to hit me (Name)! I'm trying to help you.”

“Well then, stop laughing at me!” His own feet were starting to lose friction on this ice as he felt his body sway as he grabbed you.

“If you don’t stop moving, you’re gonna take us both down!” Yunho tried to manhandle you back up, but unfortunately he lost it and tumbled down right next to you, accidentally yanking you onto your back as he landed on his ass.

“Goddamnit...” Yunho laid back in the snow, seemingly giving up on trying to get either one of you on your feet. You giggled behind your hand as you looked at him, his hair all messy and dusted with snowflakes.

He glanced at you and sighed. “Go ahead. It's only fair.” You took that opportunity to laugh in his face, him lightening up and joining you.

When you both calmed down, you looked behind him at his car. “So what happened, you just got lodged in the snow?”

“Wow, real astute (Name). Did I also mention that it’s snowing outside? How crazy is that?” You moved to smack his shoulder at his smart alecness, but he dodged.

“Stop trying to hit me, and help me move my car.” Bewildered, you watch as he stumbled and tried to stand up, feet slipping here and there as he finally stood upright. Like a baby penguin

“Help you push the car?” You snorted and tried to stand up yourself grunting. “Yeah, that's like not happening. Especially on this ice. You’re just going to have to leave it here until some of the snow melts.” Yunho looked at you like you had just told him something outrageous.

“Are you serious?” He glared at you, noticing how you made no move to come over and start pushing the car. “Insane actually…” he mumbled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration as he watched the snow fall from the night sky.

“Listen, I made dinner tonight. It's chili. Come home for now, it's cold, and the snow will pick back up again soon. Come inside, and we can worry about this later.” Yunho stopped and seemed to think to himself for a second, before his eyes flicked over to yours.

He looked at you with a surprising gentleness, roving over your face before landing on your lips for a fraction of a second, so fast you didn’t catch it.

“Alright.” He threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine, let's go inside. It's okay. We can worry about it later.”

“That's what I said,” you chirped as you turned your back, beginning the slippery journey back to the house.

“I know that's what you said. I was just rephrasing.” Yunho followed behind, shuffling his feet on the ice so he wouldn’t have to pick them up and risk stepping wrong. It was silent on the way back, both of you too focused on not falling again.

You shed your shoes and coat by the door, turning to Yunho and pointing to the rug on the porch.

“Shoes.” You stated. Yunho looked down and removed his shoes, setting them next to yours.

Satisfied you opened the door, you hung your coat on the hanger in the foyer. “I just cleaned the house.” You mumbled to yourself, as if to affirm the reason you made him leave his snow-filled shoes outside.

Yunho followed behind, hanging his own coat and scarf on the rack. You sighed and fell on the couch, groaning in relief at the warmth that surrounded you.

“There’s chili in the kitchen if you want some.” You closed your eyes, basking in the warmth. The pine candle you lit made the house smell so comforting, taking in a deep breath, you heard Yunho’s breath hitch. When you realized he hadn't said anything yet, you peeked open an eye, only to catch him looking away from you.

His arms came up, smoothly directing his gaze down at his hands, fidgeting and playing with his fingers like he was bored.

He was almost caught, your shirt had ridden up when you laid on the couch, exposing your belly and the hem stopping right where your under boob began. Yunho’s brain nearly short-circuited at the sight, wondering what it would feel like to lie to you on his bed and drag his big hands up and down your waist, squeezing and kneading and feeling you…

He blinked, realizing he was much too far in his fantasy, expecting you to be looking at him like he was a pervert. Instead, he caught your eyes glued to his hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. You blinked once. Twice. Before turning round and snatching up the remote, switching the TV on.

“Like I said, dinner’s in the kitchen. Help yourself.” Quickly gaining your composure like you weren't imagining his fingers inside of you, you switched to a cooking channel and sat on the couch, full attention on the screen.

“What's this?” Yunho tapped the back of the couch. “A blanket?” You didn’t look back at him, too embarrassed to show your face.

“Oh yeah, when I was at the store, I saw they were selling soft blankets, so I got you one.” You shrugged it off. When he didn’t respond, you assumed that he just went to the kitchen to eat.

A few more beats of silence, and you thought you were in the clear from your way too hot roommate, when his gentle, rich voice hit your ears like a truck, and you felt your core clench hard.

“Thank you (Name), you’re such a sweetheart. Thanks for always thinking of me.” 

Like someone just shot you, you whipped your head around to see Yunho holding the blanket in his hands, towering over you, standing behind the couch. His fingers dipping into the soft, navy blue waves of fleece, his lips upturned in a soft smile, and his eyes filled with nothing but adoration.

He was going to kill you. His hair fell in front of his eyes as his hands slowly caressed the blanket he held, his posture was relaxed as his eyes remained fixed on you, and you swear you saw them flick to your lips for a second. 

Your heart stopped and fell to your ass, immediately nervousness took over your body and you felt like a hot mess.

 After a few seconds of silence, Yunho’s smile fell, and his eyebrows knitted, like he was frustrated. He leaned his head back and shoved the blanket in his face, groaning into it.

“Don't… look at me like that.” Yunho’s muffled voice spilled from behind the blanket in his face, and you went rigid. How were you looking at him?

“Well, I don't look at me like that either!” You exclaimed, your voice shaking slightly. Yunho moved the blanket from his face, butting on the back of the couch. His eyes locked with yours again. Every time you looked away, he stepped a little closer, until he was sitting next to you.

“Hey, uh. Back up maybe?” You chided, trying to hide how much of a mess he was able to make of you just by looking at you.

“No.” Yunho challenged, looking at you intently. “Stop looking away and look at me.” So you did, you gazed into his eyes and immediately felt weak. His pupils were BLOWN. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, eyebrows cinched as he stared at you like he was trying to pin you to your spot.

He wasn’t saying anything, but he didn’t look like he was thinking either. He was just staring. You were starting to feel put on the spot, and you were about to make an excuse to go use the bathroom. 

“You’re so fucking pretty,” Yunho whispered. You nearly choked on your spit, but his hand lifted and dragged his fingertips down the bridge of your nose with feather-light gentleness, along your eyebrow, along your jawline. Like he was mapping out your face.

“Yunho…” You whispered, afraid that if you spoke too loudly, it could shatter the atmosphere. The air was thick, and the wind outside howled as the snow picked up again. The house almost seemed too hot now, and frankly, a snowball to the face wouldn’t be so bad right now. Yunho gnawed on his bottom lip.

“How come you never talk to me?” You suddenly blurted it out, instantly regretting it when it slipped out of your mouth. Yunho, obviously taken aback by your question, paused his touches on your face. He let his hand fall onto his lap and quickly grabbed his hand again, encasing it between your own two.

“What I meant is! Like, why don’t we take or hang out more often? I mean that I would like to, not that you… I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about.” Yunho watched as you stumbled over your words, a smile crossing his face again as he chuckled at your franticness.

“(Name), (Name), stop.” The hand he held in your grasp, gently pulled from you, now holding your wrist. Yunho lowered his head and looked at your hand. Keeping his head down, his eyes lifted to meet yours as his thumb pressed onto the pulse point on the inside of your wrist. His other hand came up to your face, cradling your jaw softly.

Your chest felt like it was going to explode, overwhelmed with how Yunho was so close to you, how he was touching you, how he was looking at you.

“You know, I feel bad. You just thought of me while out shopping and got me a gift, but I don’t have anything for you.” Yunho frowned, dropping his gaze back down to your hand, his fingers tracing lightly up the inside of your arm, drawing circles and stars into your skin.

You shrugged gently, trying to brush it off so you didn't seem like you were expecting something back, because truly you weren’t. You just wanted to get him something.

“It’s nothing, Yu, you don’t have to -“ 

“No, it’s not nothing! Don’t say that.” Yunho squeezed your wrist softly, bringing your arm up and pressing whispers of kisses from your pulse point up your arm, and back down again as he spoke. 

“You’re always so thoughtful. Always checking up on me, making amazing meals for us, looking so pretty all the time.” You swallowed, your face quickly heating up at the praise, and the strain in his voice as he spoke. You struggled to find words to reply to him. You never realized how much he appreciated what you do, and frankly, you didn’t realize how much you did for him. 

“I wanna give you something too.” His eyes flicked up to yours, searching for consent in your eyes. You didn’t say anything. Then you whispered a question, the doubt in your mind creeping into your words.

“Yunho… you don’t have to give me anything-” Before you could continue, he pressed a finger to your lips to stop you from talking.

“Buh buh buh. Stop. This isn’t for you. Well, it is for you, but it's for me too. I want to. I want to take care of you like you take care of me, (Name).” Yunho’s hand landed on your upper thigh, gently kneading it like he was trying to ease the tension, keeping his eyes on yours.

“Is that okay?” The slow, gentle rub on your thigh was comforting, however, not calming in the least. The tendons in his hands flexed as he stroked his hand about the expanse of your leg. He stopped when your thigh tensed, resuming when you opened your mouth to speak.

“Yes.” barely there, in a whisper.

“Words, angel, use them please.” Yunho inched closer to you on the couch, his other hand coming around to cup the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to his, his nose just barely brushing against yours.

His smell enveloped you, his bangs tickled your forehead as his staggering breath fanned against your lips. 

“Yes.” You spoke louder, pressing a soft kiss against his lips, testing the waters. “Please.” You expected Yunho to chase your lips, but instead, he just smiled and leaned back.

“I knew it.” Your heart stopped. What's he doing? 

“All this time since you moved in, I thought maybe I was a pervert.” He lifted his hand and gently pushed against your chest, urging you to lie on your back on the couch, your head on the armrest. He slowly crawled over on top of your body, one leg slotted between your thighs with his knee just barely brushing your core, his hands pressing against the couch by the sides of your head. He brought his face down to yours, space nonexistent between you two as his calm breaths mingled with your nervous ones.

His eyes locked on yours, shamelessly flicking to your lips every few seconds. “You’re always looking at my hands, baby. Do you like them?”

Your breath hitched, and embarrassment crept up your spine. Yeah, he had noticed. This wasn't a new fascination of yours. You had always been drawn to hands in a way, but his specifically. The long, nimble fingers, the prominent veins, and the sheer size of his palm. 

Teasingly, he brought his hand up to your face, twisting his wrist to give you a good view. Slowly, he moved his hand down against your throat, his fingertips brushing against the side of your neck softly, up and down, trailing along your collarbones and between your breasts, down until they reached the hem of your shirt.

You watched with bated breath as he teased the hem of your shirt, rubbing it between his fingers, slightly lifting it and letting it fall back down.

“Want me to take it off for you? Undressing you like a gift, yeah?” A quiet whimper slipped from the back of your throat. His hand slipped under your shirt, flattening his large, warm palm against your stomach and caressing your skin gently.

Agonizingly slow, he dragged his hand up, taking his time mapping out your body, his other hand quietly lifting to cup the back of your neck again, pulling your head up to press your forehead against his. His eyes never left you as you felt his calloused fingertips brush against the underside of your breast, tracing light patterns around your areolas so softly it almost tickled. Your stomach clenched at the touch, letting out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

“You're so soft, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to touch you for so long. Can’t believe you're letting me..” His large hand cupped your breast, softly kneading the mound.

His fingers twilled the hair on the nape of your neck, occasionally squeezing the back of your neck reassuringly, like he wanted you to know that he had you. He's gonna take care of you.

“Can you whine for me, honey? I love your voice.” You didn't need to hear that, as he slipped his hand from under your shirt, lifting the hem until it sat under your chin.

“Arms up.” Breaking from your stupor, you lifted your arms as he dragged your shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere in the dim living room. His eyes moved down and locked on your exposed breasts, your nipples hardening in response to the cold.

“There they are. So pretty.” Without warning, his lips crashed with yours, swallowing your whimpers while his hand found your breast again. Messy and slow, his tongue coaxing your lips open for him and slipping into your mouth. He moaned deep into you, his hand massaging your breast roughly as he lost himself in your mouth.

Every buck of his head he tried to push himself closer into you, like he was trying to melt into you, his lips relentless against you, sucking your plush bottom lip and nipping at your tongue teasingly.

Pulling away was hard for him; it almost hurt. He gave himself a moment to take you in. Swollen lips, blown pupils, and frizzy hair. A mess all for him.

His kisses trailed from the back of your ear down your neck and landed around your breasts. Kissing and soothingly running his tongue around them before latching onto your nipple. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, focused on the feeling of his warm mouth enveloping your nipple.

Taking this opportunity, his other hand moved from behind your neck and landed on the waistband of your pants, undoing the buttons before slipping his hand past the waistband of your underwear.

Your eyes shot open again at the feeling of his finger tracing a slow deliberate line up your slit, gathering your wetness. You craned your neck to the side, draping your arm over your mouth and avoiding his hot gaze. Yunho clicked his tongue and with surprising ease let his finger press against your opening, sliding perfectly inside of you, his fingertip brushing against your G-spot softly.

“I’m gonna need you to look at me, baby, I can’t give you what you need if you aren't looking at me.” Your eyebrows furrowed, and you bit your bottom lip, ripping your arm away from your eyes and slowly focusing your eyes on him. And you almost wished you hadn’t.

His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, pupils blown and hair tousled all around his flushed face. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek, his hand disappearing between your legs, his cheek pressed up against your breast, his tongue lolling against it, tracing lazy patterns around your areola. His eyes took you in, like you were the most stunning thing he had laid eyes on, which was the truth.

His eyelids fluted before his lips wrapped around your nipple again, kissing, licking and sucking as he started dragging his finger inside of you, curling it just right in that way that made your breathing hitch and your eyes roll.

“Yu-, fuck…” He nipped at your nipple, immediately soothing it with his tongue and pulling off of you with a slick pop.

“I’m trying so hard to be respectful…” He ground out the words like talking hurt his throat. You were finding it hard to focus with the attention he was giving your body, perfectly pressing your buttons and winding you up like a toy. Easily slipping another finger inside your cunt, you let a groan out deep from your chest, turning him on impossibly more.

“But baby, fuck you’re making this so hard for me…” He let his mouth wrap around your other nipple, massaging your hip with his free hand as he sloppily licked you up like candy.

“So good- wish I could eat you all day. I do…” he moaned between kisses on your breasts, switching between suckling them and biting. “I do. I really fucking do…”

Yunho’s fingers press inside of you harder, coaxing you closer to your orgasm. Unbeknownst to you, he was grinding his rock hard cock against the cushion of the couch, desperately trying to ease the pain from how hard he was feeling you soak his fingers like a slut. Your eyes watered, and you were finding it hard to breathe as his long fingers reached spots you never could. You thought back on the times you’d sit on your bed, trying so hard to reach an earth-shattering climax, imagining his fingers fucking you instead of your own. Nothing could ever compare to the real thing.

“Fuck baby, cmon get up. On my lap.” Hazily, you watched as he slipped his fingers out of you, sitting on the couch, legs on the ground. Impatiently, his big hands engulfed each side of your waist and lifted your body with ease to sit on his lap. You bent your knees on either side of his thighs, his cock pressed against your wet cunt.

He craned his neck up to look at you, immediately slotting his lips with yours. Working in tandem, his mouth devoured yours, swallowing you up like he needed you to breathe. One hand cupping your neck and pressing you as close as he could, while the other kneaded the flesh of your ass like a stress toy.

Without thinking, eyes closed as you let him fuck your mouth with his tongue, your hand slipped between your intertwined bodies, fishing his dick from out of his pants, hot and heavy in your hand.

His breath stuttered between his kisses, but his lips never left yours as you wrapped your hand around the upper half, your thumb brushing against the slit on his swollen tip.

He bit your lip accidentally at the stimulation, pulling away from your lips finally to look down at your hand wrapped around him.

His breathing quickened, and his hips bucked, chasing more of your touch as you teasingly played with him. You kept your eyes on his face, watching his eyebrows twitch and his eyes shake.

“Baby, you handle me so f-fucking well…” His moans were quiet, but so loud in the silence of your shared home, the snow howling just outside. 

Your grip lowered, squeezing the base before dragging your hand up and down the length of him. His head lifted again, burying his nose in the crook of your neck, pressing desperate and wet open-mouth kisses on your collarbone, his barely contained whimpers falling against your heated skin.

“Off..” he groaned into you, but too lost in the feeling of him throbbing in your hand, you didn’t quite understand.

“H-huh?”

“Off, off- clothes off. ‘S so hot…” He shimmied underneath, shedding his shorts and nearly ripping his shirt off. 

He grabbed the base of his cock, urging you to lift your hips so he could press his tip against you.

“Nice and slow for me, sweet girl, sit on it. Take your time, don’t wanna hurt yourself…” His eyes locked with yours as you complied with his request, slowly letting your hips sink down on him.

When his tip pressed in, that stupid, lazy boyish smile of his spread across his face, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyebrows cinched, focused on feeling you take him in like he was meant for you.

“There you go, slow… good, mmm, good fucking girl (Name.)” Your breath caught as you continued to lower your hips down onto him. Bottoming out with a groan, your hands gripped his shoulder, your nails digging into the blades.

You both sat there for a second, relishing the intimate feeling of just being connected. Your breaths mingled, and your thighs shook, his hands massaging your waist, squeezing your hips every time they slid back down.

When Yunho finally spoke, it was strained and so quiet you almost couldn’t hear it.

“Rock your hips. Grind on me pretty, take what you need from me. Make yourself feel good.” 

You whimpered and squeezed your eyes shut, moving your hands to cradle his head. Cautiously testing the waters, you rolled your hips forward, his tip perfectly dragging against that sweet spot deep in your tummy. The moan you let out was borderline pornographic; nobody had ever been so deep in you, and the fact that it was Yunho was so overwhelming.

“Oh god…” You moaned, pressing your lips into his hair, gasping and whining into the soft locks. His hands gripped your hips and helped you move, pushing and pulling you, moving you back and forth on his cock.

“That's it… fuck, always knew you’d take me so well. Like me all in your guts baby, huh?” You nod against him, your breath hitching when he lifted you so you slid up his cock and back down. Effectivley using your body to fuck himself into you.

“Don't stop, keep rolling those hips, angel, do not stop.” His hand came up and gripped your throat, maneuvering your head down so he could kiss you again, groaning into your mouth as you did into his as he fucked you up and down on his cock, your hips contining to grind. With every thrust and every flick of his tongue, his fat tip constantly dragged against that spongy spot inside of you.

A smug laugh slipped past his lips as he watched how desperate you were to feel good, and he was feeling really good about himself as he watched you lose yourself on him.

“Yeah, ride it, baby, ride it…” He bucked his hips, smiling wider when your back went taught feeling the pressure inside of you, as he continued to fuck himself into you slowly, dragging your pleasure out as much as he could.

“This is all for you, for being so good to me all these months, for always being so fucking s-sweet and taking care of me…” He thrusted harder with every other word, like he was enunciating how much this meant to him.

“Thank you Yu- fuck, you’re so big thank you ngh..” He nipped at your bottom lip, giving your throat one more squeeze before moving his hand back down to your hips and forcing your hips to bounce on him a little faster.

“My pretty baby takes dick so well. I regret not fucking you sooner, coulda’ had this pussy a longgg time ago.”  Yunho let his finger slip to your clit, rubbing in pressurized circles, dragging the sweetest noises from you.

You opened your mouth, trying to speak, but all that came out were strangled moans and staggering breaths. Yunho understood, though, pressing his lips against yours again.

“Cumming baby?” He whispered into your mouth, smiling when you nodded, unable to speak, too busy focusing on your impending orgasm. “Good, let go. Feel it and let go for me.”

Like the obedient slut you were for him, your spine straightened and you gasped, your orgasm hitting you like a fucking train, shotting from your toes and electrifying your body like you had been shocked, up through your stomach to your brain, making you lightheaded.

When he felt you cum, his hips stuttered in you feeling you clench like a vice and began to speed up. “Yeah, yeah, yeah- good girl, let me fuck you through it, let me get you through it.”

And thats exactly what he did, without letting up the pace, Yunho fucked into you without abandon, the slap of skin on skin echoing around the living room, mixing with your broken whines and his concentrated groans as he made you fall apart like shattered glass around his dick.

“T-too much–!’ you cried when he continued to bully inside you, his fingers still not letting up on your overstimulated clit. “Gonna c-cum again, Yunho!”

Yunho felt himself reaching his peak, but he would do anything to get you to cum again. With newfound rigor, he rolled his hips into you rough, meanly kissing you and sucking your tongue like he was searching for water.

“Again, angel, again. You can do it.” He moaned loudly into your mouth, his fingers opting to rub your clit slower, this time pushing upward, the pressure increasing tenfold.

Yunho twitched inside of you, feeling as you toppled over the edge again, the second orgasm so much more intense than the first. You couldn't breath, cumming two times so close together. Your thighs burned, and your head spun, vision blurring for a second.

Yunho groaned loudly, bucking his hips a few final times before spilling himself inside of you, continuing to roll his hips into you, riding both of your climaxes out.

You slumped onto him, hands at your side as you regained your breath, thighs sticky, and your body stuck to his. Yunho kissed along your shoulder, allowing you to regain your senses as he came down from his high as well.

Slowly, when you were finally breathing normal, he grabbed your waist and lifted you off of him, sighing as he watched his cock slip out of you, placing you back on the couch.

“Don’t move, I'm gonna go grab a rag.” Yunho stood up and walked down the hallway towards the bedroom. He came back a few seconds later, wearing a pair of sweatpants and carrying a black t-shirt, a pair of underwear, and a wet rag.

He sat down on the floor and gently grabbed your ankles to move your legs to face him, spreading them so he could clean between your thighs. He wiped the cold rag along your inner thighs and cleaned you well, before slipping the pair of underwear over your ankles and up around your hips.

“Here, put this on, it might get cold in here again since we’re not fucking like rabbits anymore.” You both laughed as he handed you the t-shirt. You brought it up to your face, inhaling. It was his, and it smelled like him. You felt fuzzy as you slipped it over your head, smiling when you looked down at him.

He was gazing up at you with nothing but love in his eyes, his hands rubbing absentmindedly along your calves, soothing your aching muscles and placing gentle kisses on your ankles, and up your leg to your knee.

“How are you feeling (Name)?” He waited for your response, his hand never ceasing the gentle massaging.

“Do I even need to say?” You smiled at him, and he smiled back, moving to sit next to you on the couch.

“Guess not, moaned loud enough to wake the neighbors.” Instinctively, you smacked his shoulder in disbelief before the words settled in.

Your smile fell, and a worried look crossed your face. “Was I actually?” He let out a hoot of laughter at your reaction.

“I was joking but you were pretty damn loud. It's okay though, cuz you sounded so pretty.” Yunho kissed along your neck, smiling when you twitched from the tickling feeling.

Suddenly, you remembered the dinner that was still in the kitchen, and you stood up and made a beeline for the kitchen.

“Come on Yu, I'm fucking starving and you made me forget I made dinner.” Yunho chuckled and stood up, following you to the kitchen to make himself a bowl.

With your food in hand, you sat on the couch together, with you lying between his legs, the back of your head lying against his chest as you ate together. The snow fell quietly, and the TV droned in the background as you basked in each other's presence.

“Does this mean you’ll come out of your man cave more now?” Yunho scowled at you and playfully flicked your forehead.

“Don't get smart with me, young lady…” he paused and smiled. 

“Of course, gotta give my girl the attention she deserves, right?”

[pitlanepeach]

Radio Silence | Chapter Fourteen

Lando Norris x Amelia Brown (OFC)

Series Masterlist

Summary — Order is everything. Her habits aren’t quirks, they’re survival techniques. And only three people in the world have permission to touch her: Mom, Dad, Fernando.

Then Lando Norris happens.

One moment. One line crossed. No going back.

Warnings — Autistic!OFC, jealous lando, protective grid, sexual content

Notes — Welcome to the 2021 Formula One season! (Testing, but still... it counts). Also... hehehehehehehe double update <3

Want to be added to the taglist? Let me know! — Peach x

2021

WhatsApp Groupchat — 2021 F1 Grid

Lewis H. A warm welcome to our 2021 rookies! Mick, and Yuki :)

Lando N. Yeah, welcome or whatever More importantly, does anyone know if I can call up the Apple store in Woking and get them to deliver to me? Even though it’s closed rn

Lewis H. What happened? Did her iPad break?

Lando N. Yeah mate, completely toast.

Max V. Shit. I can have one express delivered to your flat, Lando. It is, of course, a work expense.

Yuki T. Uh hey I guess! I thought this was a work only chat? Did I get the wrong briefing?

George R. It usually is, but as admin I allow Amelia-based chat @Yuki

Mick S. Hey! Great to be here. Um, just curious though. Who is Amelia?

Max V. My lead technical engineer.

Lando N. My girlfriend.

Lewis H. Zak Brown’s daughter.

Fernando A. Her iPad is broken? I will bring her one now. Lando, send me your home address.

Mick S. Ohhh, I actually know Amelia Brown!

Lando N. ?????????? @Mick

Fernando A. Lando you have not sent me your address.

Max V. @Fernando I have already purchased the iPad.

Mick S. @Lando we met years ago, mate. She used to ski with her family where mine did in the winter.

Lando N. You heard the part where she’s my girlfriend, yeah @Mick?

Mick S. Yes…

Lando N. Good.

Fernando A. @Max She will need it delivered to her soon.

Charles L. It finally broke? Wow. Lasted far longer than I believed it would.

Lando N. @Charles Not a good time for jokes, mate. She’s devastated

Daniel R. Should I start carrying a spare iPad to races with me just in case? LOL.

Lando N. Wait that’s a good idea Somebody write that down Max write that down

Max V. I purchased three. I will carry the spares

Fernando A. Vamos, Max!

Pierre G. I bet the rookies are so confused lmao. Welcome to the grid group chat. We discuss penalties, race conditions, plane shares, and Amelia Brown.

Carlos S. @Lando How is she? Did she freak out?

Lando N. She’s good now. All chill.

Lewis H. Tell her that I just bought her a new bunny sticker book. I’ll give it to her at testing.

Lance S. If I buy her the entire Apple company, do you think she will come and fix the Aston Martin car?

Max V. NO.

Yuki T. This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in any grid group chat, and the f2 chat used to get weird lol

George R. Welcome to the grid, Yuki. Keep your head on straight, and if you ever find a lost iPad with a bunny sticker on it anywhere in the paddock, make sure it gets back to Amelia asap

Lando N. Thats important for all of the rookies to know @Mick @Yuki 

Mick S. Sure I’ll keep an eye out!

Lando N. Actually I change my mind Mick if you see an iPad just leave it yeah :) 

Mick S. ????

Pierre G. This is going to be a great year. 

Checo P. All of the other drivers have this chat muted, yes?

Kimi R. Yes. 

— 

Amelia was crouched down by Max's car, her hand resting on the tire as she scanned through the data on her iPad. The numbers on the screen felt too slow, almost static, compared to the racing thoughts racing through her head.

Beside her, Jos loomed over her, a red-ink pen poised above her little black notebook. He was taking notes for her. Her mind was moving faster than her hands could keep up, and sometimes, just sometimes, she needed someone like him, methodical, steady, and patient, to help her process it all.

Her fingers flicked over the screen, swiping through the data from Max's morning run, when she paused, eyes flicking to Jos. “You see what I see?” she asked, her voice low, as if speaking any louder might break the delicate focus she’d managed to carve out for herself.

Jos nodded, his eyes scanning the information on the screen before looking back down at the scribbles he’d started in her notebook. “More rear stability in the high-speed corners. We’ll need to adjust the dampers again,” he said, his voice calm and matter-of-fact.

Amelia’s eyes tightened slightly as she thought. “We might need to soften the rear more. The front’s too reactive. Max is going to be fighting it in corners three and four, especially.” She tapped the screen lightly, zooming in on the section of the track map. “The car’s settling into a snap too fast, can’t keep up with the rear load in the high-speed sections.”

Jos made a mark in her notebook. “Front end’s still too eager, then?” He sighed. 

“Yeah, exactly,” Amelia made a face. “We soften that just a little bit more. Max needs more confidence in the corners. Less initial bite, more consistency. Maybe tweak the ride height slightly too.” Her words were coming faster now as the solution to their issues fell into place in her brain. 

As the day wore on, Max’s car was fine-tuned with the adjustments, and Amelia watched on with satisfaction as everything came together in perfect harmony. 

They had a plan. The tweaks would work. Max would be happy with the handling.

She turned to Jos when the mechanics started to wheel Max’s car back into the garage for the final time, day one of testing officially over, giving him a small but appreciative smile.

He pulled her notebook out of the pocket of his jeans and handed it over. “I hope you can understand my handwriting.” 

— 

Amelia sat opposite Max at one of the small team tables in the Red Bull hospitality unit. Most of the staff had already filtered out for the night, their voices fading down the hallway as engineers, PR reps, and mechanics headed for shuttles and taxis. But the two of them lingered — Amelia, still editing Jos’ scribbled notes from earlier in the day, and Max, who had quietly gotten into the habit of not leaving until she did.

It was almost sweet. He dropped her off to Lando at her hotel room at the end of every day like she was a preschooler getting passed between divorced parents. She hadn’t said anything about it, partly because it was practical, and partly because she didn’t mind it. It was nice not to have to worry about being alone.

Across from her, Max was hunched low in his chair, arms folded tight across his chest, mouth set in a hard line. His gaze flicked from the tabletop to her notebook and back again, a rhythm she’d seen a hundred times before. It meant he was thinking. Hard. Or more likely, overthinking.

She didn’t bother looking up. “Just say it.”

He blinked. “What?”

“You’ve been fidgeting with your straw for six minutes. It’s starting to irritate me.”

Max exhaled through his nose, leaning back into the bench with a groan. “You are very annoying.”

“Mhmm,” she hummed, finally meeting his eyes. “Max, tell me.”

He hesitated, then shifted forward, resting his elbows on the table. There was a pause, a rare, tentative kind, and then, quieter than usual, he said, “I’m nervous.”

That made her put the pen down.

“For the season?” she asked, although she already suspected the answer.

Max nodded. “Everyone keeps saying 2021 is my year. Like it’s inevitable. Like this is it. And I want it — Fuck, I want it so bad. I’ve worked for it my whole life. But now that it’s here, I don’t know…” He rubbed a hand down his face. “What if it doesn’t happen?”

“It might not,” Amelia said plainly.

Max looked like he wanted to argue, but stopped short, blinking at her. “Comforting.”

“You’re not asking for comfort,” she said. “You’re asking if you’re good enough. And yes, you are. But this sport doesn’t always care about that.”

He let that sit for a moment. Nodded.

Then, quieter still, “There’s something else.”

Amelia raised an eyebrow.

“I met someone. Over the break.”

She made a face. “Someone?”

He groaned. “Don’t do the eyebrow thing.”

She relaxed her face. “Who did you meet?”

Max scratched at the edge of the table. “I met her in Monaco. She’s nice. A lawyer . She thinks I’m just… Max. I didn’t tell her about the racing. About… everything. She doesn’t follow F1.”

Amelia leaned forward slightly. “So she doesn’t know who you are.”

He shrugged helplessly. “She knows who I am. Just not… what I do.”

Amelia tilted her head. “And you like that?”

“I think so,” he said. “It’s peaceful. She talks to me like a normal person. No hero-worship, no pressure. Just… calm.”

“You’re lying to her, essentially,” she said bluntly. “Not a good foundation for a relationship.”

He shot her a withering look. “Jesus. You’re worse than my dad.”

“I take that as a compliment. We have the same goal.”

“I know.”

She looked down at her notebook, flipping a page and skimming it for a second. “You think you can manage both? A relationship and a championship battle?”

He hesitated. “Is that selfish?”

“No,” she said, then looked back at him. “But it might be a bit stupid.”

Max chuckled dryly. “Thanks.”

“I’m not saying you can’t have both,” Amelia added. “I’m just saying that it probably won’t work.” 

He frowned, nodded slowly, then said, “But you’re managing your relationship and my championship.”

“I’m not the one driving the car, Max.” She argued. 

“Still,” he muttered. “You’re making it work. I could make it work.”

She shrugged. “Okay. Is she nice?”

Max nodded, “I almost ran her over.”

She blinked at him. “Oh. That’s… romantic?” She tried. 

He laughed shortly. “She was in a rush, didn’t look properly. I apologised and gave her a ride to work. She— she, uh, thinks that I’m just some wealthy businessman’s son, or something.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, anxiety curling in the pit of her stomach. “You should stop lying to her. I would… I would not like it if I was in that situation and I found out that I was being lied to.” 

Max sighed. Nodded. 

Then he stood, grabbed both their jackets, and slung hers over the back of her chair. “Come on. Let’s get you to your boyfriend before he starts texting me again asking where you are.”

She gave him a flat look. “He has a GPS tracker on my phone.” 

Max rolled his eyes. “Of course he does. Typical Norris.”

She shrugged. “It’s sweet. Sometimes I get lost and he has to come and find me.” 

Max laughed, and for the first time all day, some of the tightness left his posture. “Yeah,” he said, holding the door open for her. “Probably good that he has it, then.” 

— 

The lights of Manama twinkled in the distance, warm and hazy against the desert night. From the balcony of their hotel suite, the city looked like it belonged to another world; quiet and golden and slow in a way the paddock never was. The hum of the air conditioning inside was replaced by the occasional distant honk of a car, or the hush of wind weaving through the palm trees below.

Amelia was seated cross-legged on one of the outdoor chairs, wrapped in a white robe, her hair still damp from her shower. Lando, in a t-shirt and joggers, was fiddling with a tiny bottle opener, attempting to open a bottle of some obscure sparkling drink he’d insisted was “romantic, okay baby? Trust me.”

Their room service tray sat between them on the small table. Grilled flatbreads, mezze, roasted lamb. Lando had ordered for them and he’d gotten everything right.

“I don’t know how you always remember this stuff,” she said, dipping a piece of bread into a tangy yogurt sauce.

Lando grinned, finally getting the bottle open with a victorious pop. “Because I listen when you talk. I know the face you make when you think something tastes bad or has a yucky texture. I have eyes. Shocking, I know.”

Amelia gave him a pointed look. “Last week, you kissed my eyeball because you were being lazy and tried to kiss me with your eyes closed.”

“Shut up.” He huffed. 

She laughed quietly, curling into him, giving him a bit of the blanket. “I think Max might be in love,” she said suddenly.

Lando blinked. “Max? Verstappen?”

“Mm,” she nodded, chewing. “He told me today that he met someone over the winter. She doesn’t know who he is. Like, really doesn’t know. Thinks he’s just some rich guy named Max.”

Lando made a face. “That… feels impossible.”

“She’s apparently very disconnected. Doesn’t follow the sport. Max likes it.”

Lando nodded slowly. “Weird. But kind of sweet, I guess.”

She frowned at him. “I told him he shouldn’t be dating during a title fight.”

“Very romantic of you.” Lando teased. 

She shrugged. “I never said I was romantic.”

“No,” he said. “But you are.”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t disagree. Instead, she reached for his hand where it rested on the table, her fingers brushing over his lightly. “I hope you do very well this year, Lan.” She told him, earnest and hopeful. “You deserve it.” 

Lando turned his hand over to lace their fingers together. “So do you. Deserve to do well, I mean. You’ve worked so hard this past year. You deserve to see it pay off.”

Amelia didn’t say anything right away. She just leaned over and kissed him; soft, sweet, clinging. It wasn’t meant to lead anywhere at first, just a thank you. But she didn’t pull away. And he didn’t let her go.

She ended up in his lap, her legs curled against his chest, her robe brushing his knees. His hands slid instinctively around her back, fingers splaying wide against the thin fabric, grounding her. Grounding himself.

They stayed like that for a long time. The balcony lights dimmed behind them. The city hummed faintly in the distance, the last remnants of dinner cooling on the table, the silence between them easy.

Then, gently, she climbed off of him and stood. Her bare feet whispered against the tile as she stepped forward, and she stopped just in front of where he sat, between his knees. Her eyes searched his face for a beat, then she reached for the hem of his t-shirt.

“Come inside with me?”

Lando’s breath caught slightly. He looked up at her, her expression steady, soft, open, and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

Inside, the hotel room was cast in warm light, golden from a low bedside lamp. The curtains were drawn against the city, muffling the world outside. The bed was turned down, sheets crisp, pillows fluffed. A quiet kind of invitation.

She tugged him by the hand toward the bed, and he followed without a word, heart thudding in his chest.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t awkward.

There was a kind of reverence to the way they undressed, slow, curious. Amelia’s robe slipped from her shoulders, caught briefly on her elbows before pooling at her feet. Lando’s hands hovered just for a second before brushing up her arms, like he was making sure she wouldn’t vanish if he touched her too quickly.

Their kisses deepened, still hesitant but filled with intent, with the weight of everything they’d been building toward for over a year. Every laugh, every shared moment of delicate intimacy, every time they’d caught each other’s eyes across a garage or a hotel lobby, it all settled into the space between them.

Lando’s mouth trailed across her skin with an almost startled sort of wonder, like he was learning a language he’d been waiting to speak. Her fingers threaded through his curls, tugging gently when his lips brushed the hollow of her throat. They moved together with quiet urgency, limbs tangled, breath catching against skin.

At one point, Lando paused, hovering just above her, his eyes sweeping across her face, flushed, focused, real.

“You’re so... fuck,” he whispered, barely audible.

Amelia blinked, lips curling faintly. “Not sure that’s a compliment.”

He kissed the curve of her shoulder, then her collarbone. “It is,” he murmured. “It really is.”

And when they finally settled under the covers, tangled together with her head tucked beneath his chin, Lando let out a shaky breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

She didn’t say much, but her fingers curled into his shirt like she wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon, and that was enough. 

— 

The sunlight was already creeping through the sliver of the curtains when Lando stirred, warmth pooling low in his stomach before he was even fully awake. For a moment, he didn’t move, just blinked up at the ceiling, trying to remember if he’d dreamt the night before, or if it had really happened.

Then she shifted against him.

Amelia was tucked beneath his arm, hair a little wild against his chest, one bare leg tangled over his. Her cheek was pressed just below his collarbone, lips slightly parted, her breath steady and warm against his skin.

Definitely not a dream.

He smiled, slow, stupid, unbelievably content.

She felt it too, maybe, his laugh or the way his fingers brushed along her back, because she mumbled something that sounded vaguely like a complaint and burrowed closer, clearly not ready to be awake yet.

Lando tilted his head, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Morning, baby.”

She made a noise that was more sigh than word. “Mm. No.”

“No what?”

“No talking,” she murmured, her voice thick with sleep. “Too early.”

He laughed quietly, the sound muffled by her hair. “It’s almost seven.”

“Too early for you to be this cheerful.” She grumbled.

Lando shifted just enough to look down at her, brushing a lock of hair away from her face. “I’m not cheerful.”

“You’re smiling.”

He smiled wider. “Can you blame me?”

She cracked an eye open, blinking up at him. Her face was still soft from sleep, a little puffy and makeup-free, but to him, she looked... ridiculously beautiful.

“What?” she asked, because he was staring.

“Nothing,” he said, brushing his thumb along her jaw. “I just really like waking up next to you.”

Her expression shifted slightly. And then, a second later, she exhaled and said quietly, “I like it, too.”

Lando kissed her, just a little one, lazy and warm.

They lay tangled in the sheets, the morning light spilling gently across the room. For a while, neither of them moved, perfectly content to exist in the quiet, wrapped up in warmth and each other.

Eventually, Amelia stirred, shifting just enough to reach over to the nightstand. She blinked blearily at her phone and then sighed and glanced across the room.

“Shit,” she muttered. “I forgot to charge my iPad.”

Lando, still half-asleep, pressed a slow kiss to her bare shoulder. “I plugged it in when I got up in the middle of the night to go for a piss.��

She turned to look at him, her expression soft, a little surprised. Her voice came quiet. “You did?”

He nodded, eyes still heavy with sleep. “Didn’t want you waking up to it dead.”

A pause. Then she gave him the smallest pout, sleepy and affectionate and so purely her. “I love you.”

He broke into a grin, one of those quiet, full-body smiles that lived in his eyes. “Yeah,” he murmured, brushing her hair back. “I love you too.”

—

The McLaren motorhome was buzzing with early morning energy, the consistent hum of coffee machines working overtime. Amelia slipped through the front doors with her badge swinging around her neck, hair still damp from a rushed shower, and Lando trailing behind her, half-yawning into a croissant.

Zak spotted them first, already seated at one of the corner tables with Daniel, who was halfway through a heaping plate of scrambled eggs and talking animatedly about something.

“There’s my girl,” Zak called, waving them over.

Amelia dropped into the seat beside her dad with a tired sigh. “Morning, dad.” She kissed his cheek. 

“You sound tired,” he frowned at her, sipping his coffee.

Lando slid into the chair beside her, nudging her with his knee under the table. She handed him a napkin in response, gesturing for him to wipe the crumbs away from his face, and he smiled. 

Daniel looked between them, eyebrows raised. “You must be Amelia. I’m Daniel. Can’t actually believe we’ve not met properly before now.” 

“I know.” Amelia agreed, already reaching across the table for a muffin.

Daniel leaned in a little, grinning. “Lando talks about you all the damn time. In debriefs, pre-race meetings, on his radio—”

“Please stop talking,” Lando glared at his new teammate, clearly embarrassed.

“She’s worth talking about,” Zak laughed, patting Amelia on the shoulder with a fond smile.

Daniel smirked at Lando, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort. Lando just narrowed his eyes at him, his cheeks flushing slightly.

Amelia took another bite of her muffin, savouring her food. But before she could finish, her phone buzzed violently against the table. It was from Max.

iMessage — 7:33am

Max Verstappen Are you here, sister? I want to talk about my steering set-up

Amelia On my way to you now.

She shoved the rest of her muffin into her mouth and stood up in one swift motion. “Okay. I gotta go.”

Lando looked up, surprised. “Already?”

Amelia kissed him quickly on the cheek, her lips lingering for just a second longer than expected. She gave her dad a quick shoulder squeeze before smiling at Daniel, her usual bluntness softened by a bit of shyness she wasn’t used to showing in front of him. “Max wants my advice.”

Zak called after her with a grin. “Tell Jos I want my daughter back for lunch.”

“No promises,” she replied with a glance over her shoulder, already speed-walking toward the exit. Her hair bounced with each step, and her phone was pressed to her ear before she even made it out of the motorhome.

Daniel leaned toward Lando as she disappeared down the hallway. “You’re screwed, brother.”

Lando shot him a look, kicking him under the table. “Shut up.”

— 

WhatsApp Groupchat — 2021 F1 Grid

Yuki T. I have Amelia’s iPad in AlphaTauri garage

Lewis H. Yeah, this has to be a new record.

Lando N. Lol she’s just been rly busy. Probably hasn’t noticed she hasn’t got it yet

Max V. She just noticed and started freaking out. @Yuki I’m on my way to get it.

Lando N. She okay @Max?

Max V. Yes mate, no need to worry.

Mick S. @Max Can I pop by your garage and say hi to her? It’s been years!

Lando N. @Max Say no. Max, say no. Max, say no.

Max V. @Mick No, she is too busy for friends.

Lando N. LMAO, REKT @Mick.

Mick S. Bro????? I really don’t want to steal your girlfriend 😭

Fernando A. You do not believe my Amelia is good enough for you, Schumacher?

Max V. What the fuck Mick

Charles L. Uh oh 😬😬

Pierre G. Bro that was NOT the right thing to say 😭

Max V. @Mick She wouldn’t even look your way. 

Lando N. Wild angle, mate @Mick

George R. We are witnessing a man dig his own grave live in chat

Daniel R. *shovels faster* Keep going, Mick. Say you think she’s boring next.

Sebastian V. This feels like bullying.

Yuki T. I think it is  

Carlos S. @Mick Just lie down. Accept it. The storm will pass.

Mick S. I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT 😭😭😭 I literally just meant she’s your girlfriend and I respect that! @Lando

Lando N. Sure you did. 

Fernando A. In my country we have a saying — "Schumacher has placed his own foot in his own mouth."

Lewis H. Pick your words better next time yeah? @Mick

Lance S. This is why rookies don’t get access to Amelia.

Esteban O. Wait does that mean I have access to Amelia?

Max V. No.

Fernando A. Absolutely not.

Lando N. You do not.

Valtteri B. I do not speak much in this chat but I just want to say: Mick, this is very funny.

Antonio G. +1

Nicholas L. same 😭

Sebastian V. Let it be a lesson to all of us. Never try to be polite in here. It will be weaponised.

Charles L. I miss when this chat was about tyre pressures and strategy.

George R. That’s adorable. It’s never been that.

NEXT CHAPTER

[heartsiebyul]

had an idea based on a this i just read a couple minutes ago looll

Second years wandering into ramshackle (for their own separate reasons ig..) but trans yuu doesnt have him binder on 😦😦 woah... so like letting them hang yknow? lmao, and its like after school and since its not healthy to keep a proper binder on for to long (possible breathing issues and more) yuu obviously takes it off once school is over!! so basically:

Second year's accidentally going to ramshackle while trans yuu reader doesnt have their binder on! :))

╰─▸ ❝ Twisted Wonderland x reader!

featuring — Second Years : Riddle : Ruggie : Azul : Jade : Floyd : Kalim : Jamil : Silver x transyuu!(reader).

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☛ Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle had only come by to drop off the notes you’d missed from class but the moment you opened the door, his words faltered. His eyes flickered down briefly before darting away with a visible flush creeping up his neck. “Ah—my apologies! I didn’t mean to intrude” he said quickly, turning around to face the opposite direction. Though visibly flustered, he kept his tone respectful, making no mention of your state of dress. “I should have messaged you first” he added, more to himself than you, stiffly holding the notes out behind him like a peace offering.

Once you reassured him it was fine and invited him in, Riddle cautiously stepped inside but avoided eye contact, clearly trying to give you space. Still, he lingered a little longer than necessary, asking how you were feeling and subtly checking in without making it awkward. “Just… don’t forget to take care of your health properly,” he murmured before leaving, his version of showing care without overstepping.

☛ Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie had wandered in looking for leftover snacks from a recent Heartslabyul tea party you’d helped serve. “Yo, Yuu, got any of those fancy cookies left?” he called out, pushing open the door without waiting. When his eyes landed on you, lounging on the couch in a loose tank top, he blinked, then tilted his head, pausing mid-step. “Oh. Uh… comfy time, huh?” he said casually, scratching the back of his neck.

Rather than making a big deal, Ruggie flopped onto a nearby chair and continued chatting like nothing had happened. “Didn’t mean to barge in. S’all good if you’re just chillin’.” He didn’t stare or joke, just treated it like any other visit. Still, after a moment of silence, he added, “Hey, for what it’s worth… proud of you for takin’ care of yourself.” Then he smirked, “Now, about them cookies…”

☛ Azul Ashengrotto

Azul had intended to discuss your assistance with Mostro Lounge and thought a face-to-face meeting would be more polite. He knocked but assumed you didn’t hear him, so he let himself in. Seeing you in a loose tank top, visibly caught mid-rest, Azul froze like a deer in headlights. His glasses slipped slightly down his nose as his brain processed the situation.

His face turned bright red and he immediately turned away. “My sincerest apologies, I didn’t realize, I should’ve confirmed before entering.” His tone was formal but edged with panic. Still, once you waved it off, he relaxed marginally, facing away from you. “You’re… allowed to your comfort after hours. Please, don’t feel the need to apologize for being yourself.” He left quickly after, but you could tell he genuinely meant it.

☛ Jade Leech

Jade was delivering a rare plant you requested and as always, he entered silently. You hadn’t heard him until he was already in the doorway. When he saw you resting in a loose tank top, his mismatched eyes took in the sight calmly, only the slight tilt of his head giving anything away. “Ah. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, voice soft and nonjudgmental.

He gently placed the pot on your windowsill, glancing your way again with an unreadable expression. “There’s nothing shameful about being comfortable in your own home, you know,” he said, almost idly. “But next time, do let me know if you’d prefer I announce myself more clearly.” With a slight smile, he bowed politely and left, his respect and discretion unwavering.

☛ Floyd Leech

Floyd had come by just to annoy you for fun, he liked how you reacted when caught off guard. He kicked the door open without warning and grinned. “Heeeey, little Shrimpy—” He paused mid-greeting, his eyes locking onto your chest for a beat too long before blinking slowly. Then, with zero shame, he let out a soft whistle. “Oho~ comfy mode, huh?”

To your surprise, Floyd didn’t mock or tease beyond that initial comment. He flopped on the floor dramatically. “You look different without that tight thing on. You breathe better like this?” He asked it with genuine curiosity, leaning his chin on his palm. For all his chaotic energy, there was an easy acceptance in his tone, like he couldn’t care less what you looked like, as long as you were still “his Shrimpy.”

☛ Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim burst into Ramshackle, holding a tray of desserts he wanted to share. “Yuu! You’ve gotta try this sweet custard I bought—” His eyes widened when he spotted you on the couch, and he froze. “Oh—! Sorry, I didn’t mean to just walk in!” He turned around so fast he nearly dropped the tray, clearly flustered but respectful.

You reassured him it was okay, and when he turned back around, he smiled a little sheepishly. “I didn’t know binders could be uncomfortable like that… You’re super strong for wearing one every day. I hope you’re feeling better now!” He set the tray down and offered you a spoonful with a cheerful grin. “Let’s just chill, okay? No pressure”

☛ Jamil Viper

Jamil only came by to return a book he borrowed, thinking you would be out and planning to just leave it at the door. Instead, he found you in the lounge, shirt loose and stretched after hours of wear. He froze for a split second but composed himself immediately. “Sorry. I didn’t expect you to be here,” he said calmly, his voice as measured as always.

He didn’t comment or stare, just walked over, placed the book on the table, and turned to go. Before leaving, though, he paused. “Don’t overwork yourself. You don’t have to push yourself just to meet everyone else’s standards.” It was quiet, but heartfelt. Then, with a nod, he slipped out as smoothly as he came in.

☛ Silver

Silver had wandered into Ramshackle half-asleep, genuinely believing he was still outside his own dorm. “Yuu…?” he mumbled, blinking as he stepped inside. The moment he registered your figure curled up on the couch, loose tank top and comfortable, he blinked again, this time with more awareness. “Oh—I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

True to his nature, Silver didn’t make it awkward. He quietly stepped back and gave you space, bowing slightly. “You deserve to rest however you need. I hope you’re feeling alright.” And just like that, he turned and left, calm and respectful, never treating it like anything unusual, just a normal part of being a person he cared about.

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[alwaysshallow]

what would happen if simon and higher!ranked reader ran into each other outside of base?? like when they're not on deployment :33

- 🩰

higher!ranked reader wouldn't really notice simon at first?? i mean, you're focused on getting groceries, tired asf after work and probably tired at the thought of coming home lmao. things with your husband aren't well, you honestly would prefer to live somewhere else, but things are what they are right now. there's not really a way to get out from this marriage just yet.

simon? oh come on, he has his eyes on you since the moment he spot you.

he actually looks for a good moment to chat with you; and this one happens when he "accidentally" bumps with his cart into yours.

you want to snap at whoever it was that decided it's gonna be funny, but the moment you see that blonde lieutenant of yours, you can't help but roll your eyes. "classy, riley," you say, backing off. you go to the vegetables section and he follows you like an obedient dog he is.

"just wanted to say hello." he shrugs. on his lips is his usual smirk, amused by your annoyance. he thinks it's cute you're pouting over something so small.

"off work and you want to say hello? i wouldn't accuse you of that," you huff, smiling with the corner of your lips.

"world is full of surprises." another shrug. "maybe my colonel," he emphasises those two last words, complacency pouring all over him, when he sees how you shiver at those words, "wants some help with making dinner."

he's around the whole time you're actually in the grocery shop. talking shit about his favorite meal, how to prep them and how nutritious they are—even for your kid!

you talk something about making something "yummy" for your husband too, which he completely ignores—till the point you're saying something about his allergy. this could be his chance to poison your husband completely accidentally but is it worth it though.....

he discusses it with kyle later, to be completely laughed at, until garrick realizes that, in fact, ghost wasn't joking about coming to your dinner and killing your husband, so he would have you just to himself:/

[fractualized]

Here's some Golden Age batjokes nonsense that delighted me today, in "The Crimes of Batman!" from World's Finest #61.

So we open on this:

Like, 1) haha obligatory "it is hard to believe he's straight!" joke 2) Batman just completely violating Joker's civil rights. The first thing Bruce tells us is that in the eyes of the law Joker is completely allowed to go about how he pleases, implying he's served a full sentence and has good behavior and everything. But who wants to give rehabilitation a chance? Not Bruce with this clown, that's for sure!

Through this illegal wiretap, Bruce and Dick hear Joker chatting with his henchmen, discussing a jewelry theft he's heard about. Joker didn't do it, but based on the M.O. he's positive that a supposedly dead crook, Dink Devers, is the culprit. With this information (and no proof) Bruce and Dick run off and find Devers red-handed with the loot.

Uncommented on is the fact that all the glasses Joker is knocking down have his face on them.

Anyway, Bruce could keep quiet about his source and maybe glean more info from Joker, but no, he's happy to tell all and sundry that the Joker is helping him solve crime, apparently just to be a dick. (Or maybe he was just so enthusiastic because it's a secret dream he has… 🥺)

And for Joker's part, he doesn't wonder at all how Batman came to the same conclusion as him or why Batman credits him. (In fact, the bug in his car never comes up again.) No, Joker's primary concern is mirroring Batman's offense!

Naturally his retaliation starts with kidnapping Robin from a solo speaking engagement at a boat show. (Today's sidekicks sure don't do solo speaking engagements like they used to!) Then Joker draws Batman to his hideout, where the presence of a single gun means Batman and Robin cannot simply kick everyone's asses.

I like Joker's little taunting pose in the top left, and also the one below it, with him in the front doorway like a housewife seeing her husband off to work.

Of course, Joker's very specifically worded demands will be his undoing! Bruce's brain is already cranking.

First the Cheat task! Using a dummy, Bruce fakes a near-death experience, and not long after, Joker gets a package.

lmao just stuffing bats in the box to add insult to injury

Just as the newspapers in the beginning deemed Joker an aide of the law, now we have a paper that declares that Batman has fulfilled the first part of the agreement by CHEATING death, oh ho ho! Nothing like another dash of public humiliation for spice in their relationship.

While Joker is aggravated at first, he accepts Bruce's strategy as valid and does not shoot Dick (because this is 1952 and not 1992). In fact, he's come around to admiration by the time Batman meets with him again.

Joker will come to regret adding to Batman's plight, since it actually helps Bruce think of something! When he learns that Joker is robbing a special playing card collection at a department store, he hurries over.

Sure enough, afterward the Gazette has a favorable headline.

"A worthy adversary." Who's deft at obnoxious wordplay. I'm in love.

"Boss, if ya don't stop flirtin' with da Bat, da boys and I gotta file a complain wit da Goonion."

Fine, fine, when Batman checks in again, Joker has new parameters.

Ooh, Joker wants them to work closely together, eh? 👀 For the murder finale, eh? 👀At the circus, eh? 👀With Joker and his henchmen dressed up like clowns to blend in yeah okay even for Gotham I can only take this joke so far. Anyway, Joker's plan is to have Bruce kill the cashier so they can rob the ticket revenue, and of course this also goes awry.

And then it's time for more wordplaaaayyyyy!

I'm sure Joker would prefer to go back to being humiliated in the papers.

He does manage to get free, but as he runs down a back stairwell, the lights go out!

We get it, Bruce!!!

Then, unnecessarily, Batman and the cops put on the circus clown disguises– Bruce wearing Joker's, of course– and head back to the hideout so they can enact a surprise beatdown when they rescue Robin.

Bruce, you are absolutely not using that saying correctly, but you carried out such an elaborate bonkers plan, it's fine.

[nomsfaultau]

hi hello I am currently obsessed with shred your wings to make you ours, so if you want to go on a ramble session about that fic I am sitting attentively and cheering

OKay, so. Well disclaimer that I do not in any way think authors are required to be experts on the subjects they're writing like math physics astronomy whatever like we're not cinama sins in this household and the fear of incorrect facts should not hold people back from beautiful creativity. (personal petpeeve in writers circles)

however I'm autistic and love researching so this is ENRICHMENT FOR ME.

Biology

I cornered a paleontologist/ornithologist (Hereafter Dr. S) to try and get information about the evolutionary history of birds so that the fic would be more accurate. And you will have to forgive me if I am not understanding everything accurately, because that's not my biology specialty! And the convo was a week ago.

Specifically, I was trying to figure out the environmental conditions that could lead to the size of Elytrians we see (although it could very well be that Elytrians are human sized and Avians are just tiny!).

So, I asked about how climate impacts species sizes. Dr. S discussed how in a particular ice age, there was both mammal shrinkage and reptile enlargement in the same area, which is honestly fascinating! But no dice on birds temperature wise. Next I asked about oxygen content, since I know that it had an impact on insects at least, and figured the aerial aspect might be something? IDK again I'm not an ornithologist lmao. We had a fascinating conversation about not yet published findings about fossilized ostrich eggs (so sorry don't have a source). Essentially, there's holes in the eggs that allow for gas exchange with the yolk. So, hypothesis was that the oxygen content in the atmosphere would influence the size of the holes in the ostrich eggs! Except, uh, it kinda didn't. At which point Dr. S, who is QUITE the rambler, finally said that there isn't much crazy variation in bird sizes over evolutionary history (compared to dinosaurs and what not).

(Which threw out my next theory on legumes, because I know that was big for the explosion of diversity and size in mammals post (paper here since I'm just a silly tumblr guy and you should fact check stuff I say, unfortunately can't give the Dr. S source without doxxing myself (for the second time talking about Shred Your Wings) so- uh- homework time?)

At which point I was like aw :( maybe my bird hybrid people (already insanely speculative biology and absurd for earth's evolutionary history) are even less biologically feasible due to their size :(

....And then I looked up the largest bird in history. Maybe not that far outside of theoretical, actually! Remember kids, why waste time talking to a professional when you can just google that crap!

wait no I shouldn't promote that message to my followers I'm a bad influence

Anyyyway. Hehe. Um.

Other stuff I'm thinking about:

The reason they don't have feathers around their mouths is for hygiene.

Researching migration feeding and sleeping habits. Wait sick some birds can sleep half of their brain at a time while still flying?? Also a least part of my explanation for Avians having arms is to carry resources during oceanic migration, but there's also some studies about plummeting calorie requirements that's fascinating

Now the Eleonara's falcon also does migration but that would super duper get in the way of the plot/ending so I've decided to violate that. Because all this research is fun and all but the story comes first y'know?

I don't think Avian or Elytrian are species. Techno makes a comment about the falconiform language barrier, and so I believe the divide is actually along Orders. So, Avians being Passeriformes (most birds tbh, ravens, sparrows, robins, etc) and Elytrians are Falconiformes (falcons). Fairly recent common ancestor, potentially there's another group based on the other two idk.

Lastly. Their forward facing eyes T-T chat I'm cooked. Absolutely no reason for them to have forward facing eyes, ESPECIALLY for an aerial species! I tried to poke in the direction of maybe them evolving in a hella dense jungle like area that would require insanely good depth perception to navigate, but like. I mean parrots don't have it so like. Whah. And it's not even for a narrative reason so it's my cross to bear ig.

Culture

My next big world building question (that honestly is why progress has stalled) is what type of technological and cultural development these guys have.

(As a note the ideas of 'more advanced civilizations' get quick into things like colonialism or racism so I'm trying to avoid that quagmire and be conscious of my status as a sedentary agriculturalist).

Because Avians are migratory, I think that would have a big influence on things like, having agriculture, or certain types of technologies that are based on permanent settlements. But only partially, I picture them as having two homes, one north and one south, that they split between. Techno at least seems to be from a species that migrates solo, but I think other Avians do group migrations. Because part of it is instincts, magnetism, constellations, etc leading them back to specific breeding grounds, I imagine this has created a very funky kingdom/settlement arrangement, where things like borders and territory are REALLY hard to maintain what with everyone moving twice a year. Who knows? Imagine coming home after 6 months to figure out the neighbors razed your house before leaving to annex it. I'm imagining less of monarchy or democracy systems, and more like clans. Of course not all Avians migrate, which could lead to those stationary species having lots of trust/power due to taking care of everything while everyone else is gone....OR could be there are biannual wars as those groups take over while everyone is gone, take all their stuff, and then deal with hoards of angry Avians in a couple months time!

Trying to maintain a proper kingdom wouldn't work, because a large control mechanism is inhibiting im/emigration. If someone hate their ruler, they can just pick a new place to land when they migrate next spring/fall. So factions are constantly shifting around, and places change a lot every year depending on who got there first and how much fuss they intend to kick up about staying there. Avians move a lot and aren't really tied down to a particular home. There's a constant flux to these societies. Some Avians cope by forming close knit groups, and get entire towns migrating together, but others bounce from group to group.

I'm super certain wars are happening. But we also don't see Techno as being notably armed while migrating -which: this is Techno! If there are weapons he'd have all of them! Which might be oversight on my part tbh, but also I think in that case the Elytrian kill strat explains why: usually, Avians are either immediately killed, or can escape. So, not much use for a weapon there, especially against someone faster and stronger than you. And since Avians are trying to max out carrying food during migration, I imagine weapons aren't carried on them because every gram counts when you're flying across the ocean. So, weapons are for fighting Avians, running for your life is for fighting Elytrians. (Could've been a few centuries arm race between Avian weapons and Elytrian armor, but, speculation).

Most Avians are on the herbivore/omnivore spectrum, and since the migration means they have two growing seasons but also giant periods of time where areas are abandoned. So while I do picture them having farming, I think it's very different from human styles. Much much much less intensive, long fallow periods, potentially more diversity since you can also trade with an Avian with a different diet! Scavenging/hunting is still very large in the culture, because you WILL need it during migration at the very least, so you better not get rusty or you'll die! Also some people need bugs/fish/whatever in their diets. I think most of their clothing is made from cotton they've grown, and they get crazy dyes from all over the globe.

I also think that the ability to fly would vastly structure how things like towns are built because that's all about proximity, but the sheer distance anyone can cover means that I think they're less concentrated.....by species. Niche partitioning baby! And also some birds are very territorial compared to others who form massive flocks. So, big difference there again.

I gotta imagine their sense of ownership looks very different to ours too.

AS for Elytrians:

Imma focus on Phil's species that don't migrate cause I like the contrast! They are more firmly in one place for most of the year. They don't grow crops cause, well, carnivores. I can see an amount of animal husbandry for them though, which works for a mildly nomadic species since birds do tend to drift around even if not migrating. I think circling their herd overhead would also give ample opportunity for hunting, since blatantly Phil is still a predator. Particularly for his species, they eat insects and fish and what not most times of the year, but their chick season lines up with when a bunch of Avians migrate through because they make a fantastic source of protein.

Comparatively, Elytrians are far more invested in their one area than Avians are, who migrate frequently and mingle a lot. So I picture Elytrians having more complex architecture, and potentially inventions since you're not abandoning a project every half year to potentially never come back to again. Which honestly suits the Philza/Techno building philosophy divide....

Since writing systems were developed for counting agriculture stuff, I kinda see these guys inventing it and arithmetic as a way of marking how big their herds are, branding them to prevent thefts, stuff like that. Probably have things like literature being big hits in the Elytrian communities, especially since distribution is so easy. Passarines being more song birds I think have oral story telling traditions instead.

Now Elytrians mostly just use natural weapons for hunting evidentially since- I mean- can you throw a spear faster than a 200mph falcon? If it works it works! Their aerial combat with each other has got to be WICKED though.

As for general technologies: Clothing, basic tools, dying, stone/wood work, fire. I cannot for the life of me picture either Order working in mines but Techno has clearly forged pieces of copper/gold/metal worked into his clothing so I imagine it's happening. Nothing along the lines of industry. If that were to happen I think Elytrians are more likely, buuuut then they'd have to fly in all that smog so potentially that wouldn't go far.

uh. Good enough ramble session?? I hope? This certainly helped get my thoughts in order to continue working!

[writinandcrying]

TMNT HEADCANON / how the turtles text

A lot can be said from how someone express themselves through texting, so this is just some crack / light headcanons !

Not really based on a single version per say, more that turtles have been deprived of social interaction for the majority of their life and I think texting them would be an very interesting experience lol

Idea based on @avery73 last random turtle post (thanks for being one of our strongest soldiers and writing wonderful pieces 🫡) English is not my first language and I didn’t proofread this, if there is any grammatical erros pls don’t hesitate to tell me!

Mikey

🎢 Single texts

🎢 Just like this

🎢 Loads of it

🎢 You got 60 new messages

🎢 in the past 2 minutes

🎢 Loads of gifs too

🎢 And voice memos

🎢Oh look

🎢6 personality tests links

🎢What do you mean you won’t do it

🎢He needs to know what kind of cupcake you are!!!!

🎢 And music recs

🎢 Your phone won’t stop vibrating

🎢 for the next weeks

🎢 After you meet him (Honestly really annoying unless you have a crush on him)

🎢 For the latinos/latinas; if he EVER finds out about WhatsApp and the stickers. Oh you are so done. If you have an older phone that shit WILL blow up / malfunction for SURE

🎢 uses TONS OF EMOJIS !!!!! 😍😍😝🤪😋🤩AND CAPS AS WELL!!! 🥳😽✌️👅🗣️

🎢Mikey live reaction when you ask if he’s upset that you asked him to tone it down a notch with the texting on a busy day:

🎢 Will lowkey tone it down with the emojis when he finds out some ppl find it cringe, but with his angels cakes ???????? 🫵 YOU BET 🗣️ HE WILL SHOW YOU WITH IT 💋🫦💅🏻🤳🏼💃🏻🕺🏽🙈🦋🌺🧡🌚🌻🔥💥🌟

🎢Will accidentally send you some random ass emoji that wasn’t supposed to be on the context of the text, also the autocorrect is def not his friend

Mikey : how’s it going baby gorila

Mikey: babygirl*

Mikey:

Mikey: I’m sorry

🎢 adds emojis to very contacts in his t-phone:

Leo: Leader of the pack 🐺 🐢 🫡

Donnie: Eistein 📚🧬⚗️ (Raph also shares this name on his t-cell)

Raph: Murderous teddy bear 🧸 🧨

Splinter: Mafia Boss 🪤 (no one knows about this name tho)

April: Chanel N.6 🎤(or World of Apes 🦧 lmao)

Casey: New York Hockey League 🏒

Vern: Some dude (adds 🦅 so he knows it’s Vern and not “some random dude”)

Y/n: angelcakes pookie wookie baby boo boo love of my life !!!!!! 😍🥰👀🧚🏻‍♂️

🎢Mikey live reaction when Raph yells at him to stop flooding the chat, followed by mikey texting him “make me” (they are sitting next to each other):

Donnie

🔭Huge blocks of it in the speed of light. many topics, many questions and also explanations at just one sitting

🔭But won’t hold back on a smart ass short cut response for one his brothers (literally has the sharpest tongue)

🔭Will hardly uses emojis, only when it’s a single text to express an emotion (most current used emojis: 🤓when he does something impressive 💜: for y/n 🙄: when venting about something annoying Leo / Mikey / Raph did)

🔭Will want to discuss random ass problems he has encountered in his projects, in forums online, specially if you ever show interest in debating / doesnt hold back into showing your strong opinions

🔭 Has named their brothers as “Failed Lab Experiments” and managed to color code their messages (has the only t-phone that has this feature)

🔭Donnie creating the most unique and smartass way to charge his phone just cuz he can:

🔭Deadass his reaction when texting his crush 👀:

🔭 Has modified Mikey’s phone so he doesn’t have access to emojis for a whole week after his baby brother decided to spam him “out of no where” (after Donnie won consecutively 10 Mario Kart matches AND ate the last 2 slices of cold pizza)

🔭Result: mikey spammed EVEN MORE and only spoke to EVERYONE by Japanese emojis. Leo and Raph begged demanded that donnie install his emojis back cuz they were DONE with the whole situation

Failed lab experiment N.4: ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ" °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (♡´౪`♡)

Failed lab experiment N.1: Stop.

Failed lab experiment N.4: ┬┴┬┴┤ᵒᵏ (･_├┬┴┬┴ Failed lab experiment N.4: (;﹏;)

Failed lab experiment N.2: You stupid IDIOT Failed lab experiment N.2: look what you've done now he’s sad

🔭 Donnie also has to deal with his brothers thinking he is their personal Google (he will always answer their questions, even out of spite):

Failed lab experiment N.4: Donnie what’s a Cochlear implant

Successful lab experiment: A small, complex electronic device that can help to provide a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard-of-hearing. The implant consists of an external portion that sits behind the ear and a second portion that is surgically placed under the skin.

Failed lab experiment N.4: :0 yikes

Failed lab experiment N.4: Okay thanks!!!!

Successful lab experiment: Stop asking me stuff when you can just Google it.

Failed lab experiment N.4: But I like talking to you 🙀😔

Failed lab experiment N.4: You are my favorite turtle Siri!!! 😉

Successful lab experiment: I’d prefer if I wasn’t... Also, why are you curious about cochlear implants?

Successful lab experiment: Mikey?

Successful lab experiment: Mikey!!!!!

(He still doesn’t know why)

Raph

🥊 Barely uses emojis. Lowkey barely texts? doesn't see the appeal to it, rather prefer to hang out with you 1 on 1 than being far away from you (will never ever admit to it. maybe after 3 years in a relationship)

🥊as a friend: he wont be the one spiking a conversation, but might keep going if he's truly bored (this is prone to happen during daylight / evening when they still can't go out) but will probably be the one to ask to hang out when he needs an outlet and such 🥊*sees messages* eh i'll reply later *completely forgets about it*

🥊 will effortlessly take the most breath-taking pictures of new york during patrol and send it to you 🥊 if you are already his s/o / someone he trusts: will most likely text you to ask about stuff (if you need anything or something he needs from topside) or to diss / vent / gossip about his brothers 🥊 will send embarrassing pictures of his brothers to you cuz he can't deal with that shit alone lmao

🥊 will either be pretty clueless with the most random ass stuff or out of propose just to tease you: y/n: jniasunoakpfa raph: what was that y/n: keyboard smash? raph: how do i do that y/n: just press anything raph: 7 🥊 Raph Live reaction as soon as he realizes he has feelings for you:

🥊 Also Raph Live reaction when he comes to terms with this feelings and has an excuse to ignore Leo (even if he doesnt like texting) just bc he can ignore Leo as he pleases:

Leo

🎏 Perfect texts 🎏 looks like an email/letter sometimes 🎏 to most people: 1 message with divided topics. pretty direct 🎏 when he can't reply right away: "Hello. I'm happy you wrote to me. I try to reply promptly but currently I'm not available at the moment-" Like omg bro RELAX. 🎏 to his s/o: 70% direct, the other 30% likes to send little reminders, either with songs or pretty things she has seen during a patrol with a "thinking of you" message. lowkey romantic when he doesn't even mean to be, def shows how thoughtful he is 🎏 prefers to call you rather than texting. especially if you are dating/has a crush on you he might not even realize why he likes calling you so much, until it hits like a brick that he just wants to hear your voice 🎏Leo when he calls you and doesn't know when to "intervene" / his time to talk back (god forbid he's unpolite and interrupts you):

lowkey him listening to April vent about smth dumb shit Casey did /any human friend venting and he doesnt know how to react lmao 🎏Just like Donnie, has favorite emojis and will only use it in specific situations (this will take time for it to happen, like after years Donnie first invented the t-phone and finally relized he didn't had to be so formal when texting): 🐢 when talking about team work or his brothers / 🪷 for meditating or mindfulness (thinks its peaceful) / 💙 for his boo and his boo only / 😏 only in a relationship, especially when he's feeling scipy (extremely rare for it to happen over text tho)

——————————————————————————

Group chat (more than one reaction)

💚 catching social cues irl can be hard, you are telling me there are hidden social cues in texting too??

💚 “Nah shut up” group, doesn’t care much about it and won’t change their ways: Leo, Raph

💚 Will research about it, will talk to every single human he knows (yes. you. Vern. Casey and April) Needs to know the social cues. NOW: lmao try to guess

💚 Also needs to know, but for meme reasons, he has to say up to date w the terminology/ slangs: another hard guess /j

💚 Oh btw, Donnie totally uses /j /Tw /srs terminology WHILE he texts fast AND huge text blocks. none of his brothers know how he does it

💚Will over use fresh lingo he has learned overhearing humans on patrol, shows, from his humans friends to the point it’s almost unbearable: Mikey 💚Live reaction of Raph and Leo trying to understand when Mikey or Donnie spamming the group chat with their extremely recent memes or hyperfixations:

💚the chat WILL be flooded with things related to their favorite basketball teams, show they want to see or dumbass pictures of their daily lifes, example: Mikey: *has sent an selfie*

Mikey: you know y/n

Mikey:If you’re fortunate enough

Mikey: your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness

Mikey: but mine?

April: oh boy here we go

Mikey: Hasn’t. 😏😏😏

Y/n: Oh?

Mikey: *send another selfie flexing muscles* you see when you fight crime everyday-

Raph: yeah he shallowed a glow stick

[salemssimblr]

hey good news, I was just approved to start online tutoring! Idk yet how much work it'll get me but to celebrate I'm offering:

All new commissions 50% off until 8/10!

If we consult on a commission between today and 8/10, the full price will be 50% off!

Discounted pricing as follows:

Floating head renders: $10 (A new offering, floating heads! Useful for pfps! Pricing includes 1 posed, floating head fully rendered, custom skinblend, material edits, .blend file, and 1 full edit)

Figure renders: $25 for 2 sims, $50 for 3+ (Price includes a posed sim fully rendered and edited, unedited raw file, custom skin blend, .blend file, material edits, base & decor objects, progress screenshots with minor changes, and 1 full edit)

Sim render portrait: $25 (Pricing for 2 sims in a simple/portrait setting - includes final render fully edited, unedited raw file, custom skin blends, .blend file, material edits, progress screenshots with minor changes and 1 full edit)

Sim render with custom scene background: $40 (Pricing for 2 sims in a custom scene - includes final render fully edited, unedited raw file, custom skin blends, .blend file, material edits, progress screenshots with minor changes and 1 full edit)

Blender scene: special pricing, $50 for simple or complex scenes (Pricing includes full .blend file)

Poses: $25 1 sim, $40 for 2+ sims (Includes .blend and .package file)

Additional $5 fee for private commissions ($5 flat fee applied if you don't want me to share your commission on my Tumblr or provide poses/scenes for download)

Commission Process & TOU under the cut:

Commission Process:

Consultation - tell me what you want and I'll quote you a price!

Materials submission - you send me your sims, cc files, etc (Custom skin blend requires you to send me your (ideally nude lmao) sim plus all cc files/swatches used so I can compile their skinblend from "scratch" in photoshop - this creates a more detailed/better looking skin in blender)

50% of final price due before work begins (payments accepted through ko-fi, patreon (single sale fee) or PayPal)

Work begins - I'll send progress screenshots and accept requests for minor changes and 1 major edit

Remaining payment due & final work sent to you

TOU:

Even these prices are negotiable! Reach out to me and we'll chat (:

Do not redistribute my work as your own or put behind a paywall

Otherwise your completed commission is yours to do with as you please once delivered!

Additional pricing may apply for super complex commissions (unlikely for this special and will be discussed before any payment is agreed upon/accepted)

Time to completion will vary, with work finishing anywhere between 2 days and 2 weeks (I'll keep in contact with your throughout the process)

No payment will be accepted until I'm ready to begin your commission - if your commission is agreed upon during this special pricing window, that will be your final price regardless of when work begins!

I reserve the right to decline commission requests for any reason

NSFW is ok!

I reserve the right to share final work on Tumblr/other socials at my discretion

(this special pricing inspired by @bomusims ty for our convo, it helped me too :3 )

[iridescentdove]

👏I👏AM👏TIRED

of seeing so many Yandere! BSD x Reader, and it’s always the character or everyone being Yandere for Reader, I have to request a Platonic! BSD x Yandere! Teen! Reader, in which Reader is in any organization of your choice, and since Reader is underage, they see said organization as their family, precious people that they hold dear to their hearts, and don’t wish for any of them to die or leave and abandon them. This triggers their Yandere instincts, and ultimately they kill anybody who’s hurt their darlings in any way or attempts to "steal" their attention or worse, guide them away from Reader.

LONELINESS NO MORE.

platonic!bsd x yandere!teen!reader

A/N: It's nice to go a bit gruesome sometimes lol- anyways, so I just decided to choose the PM for this.

Let's just say you were similar to Dazai in a way. As a homeless young child, you had no home or family and friends to even call your own.

And to say the least? It was a little lonely.

This was something rather different, as you grew up to have an understanding that the world is never fair. Even before being taken into the Port Mafia by MORI, you were already much of an unhinged criminal yourself.

In a way, it was bad due to how young you were, but given this was a wretched world on it's own – many things can happen.

You killed, you stole, you did many things. At some point you probably rivaled Dazai's crime list because yours looked like an entire fucking receipt.

And that is what lesd you to the mafia.

MORI had found you, and went 'fuck it', deciding to just grab you and take you back with him to the base.

Well at first – you got a bit defensive, not knowing his real intention and thinking of fighting back yourself. But it was when he gave you new clothes, gave you food, and actually took responsibility of you was when you realized.

This man was just ... taking care of you.

And for the first time? You were really excited. It didn't take very long for you to grow accustomed to the Port Mafia.

Sure they made you do dangerous and gruesome missions, but you were used to it honestly. So it didn't matter that much. You met new faces and grew very attached to them, the dreaded loneliness that creeped into your heart grew into–

Obsession.

Yes, that's right. You found no other reason to dislike them at all, and they treated you like no one else ever did.

Like family.

CHUUYA was rather nice to you, despite his aggression and the rough edges he seems to pull off. Since you're underage, he drinks grape juice with you. Lmao ye, we love that shit. You liked being around him, defending him against accusations and giving him a shoulder to lean on.

He was like a brother to you. You adored most things about the fancy hat man. Scratch that, everything about him.

He releases one of those rare genuine smiles – mostly only to you, and he just thought you were the sweetest.

Oh, how wrong he was.

It was only one simple conversation. CHUUYA was talking to another mafia members in the lower ranks, discussing about the topic for the next PM meeting at hand.

Of course at first glance, they didn't look close at all. Just a normal chat between acquaintances. But did it make you mad?

Obviouely it did.

The very next day, the orange haired-man was looking for the same said man he spoke with the day before. Yet he was rather confused to see he wasn't around.

What the hell? Well that was weird, he could have sworn that he asked to meet them in this same spot right now.

Well, guess he wouldn't be meeting with them after all. In the distance, you were smiling – hiding that dead, cold expression on your face as you wiped the blood off the saw, a few splashee of blood and guts on the weapon.

But of course, you wouldn't let him know anything~ ♡

And simply, KOUYOU made it much easier. She was like a sweet, elder sister that spoiled you and taught you everything that you needed to know.

You simply loved her, and loved the times when you'd just hang around each other and dress one another up in various clothes. Be it trendy outfits or putting makeup on one another.

She took care of you as she should, and she grew very attached as well. KOUYOU was rather protective and sweet.

So when you saw her spoiling another girl in the picture, you were fucking livid.

How dare she pay more attention to another kid than you?

She was treating KYOUKA in private as if she was more important than you ever were. And it began to hardem your heart once more, growing angry at your elder sis paying more attention to some useless assassin.

You were way better than her, stronger even.

So imagine how relieved and prideful you felt when that girl had left the mafia to be with the detective agency instead. She wasn't even loyal! She doesn't deserve to be in the PM!

It left KOUYOU feeling agitated and sad, so you did what a younger sibling would do. You were the one comforting her, even manipulating her with your sweet words. You lured her in and had her give you more attention than before.

Just like how you wanted it to be.

AKUTAGAWA was honestly a tough nut to crack. You can easily tell he doesn't care about you at all. Well, he'd acknowledge your abilities a little but that's all you're getting.

But that won't stop you from killing those who tried to get even the slightest close to him.

After all, family members must stay with one another forever.

You didn't really mind much about that blonde girl who admires him and follows him around. It's not like she can take him away, he doesn't give a damn about her.

Plus, his sister was very nice! She gave you the love you needed, and she actually cared. Even though her brother was pretty cold, you'd think she also was – but in reality, GIN is a sweet, somewhat shy girl who gave you gifts and attention.

No matter which mafia member it was – wheneve ryou were with them, you were so sweet and caring, such an adorable teen who looks out for all of them and their wellbeing.

Yet behind closed doors, while they weren't looking, you glared daggers at other kids or people they payed attention to, your greedy self wanting all of it to yourself.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't!

You never held back. You spilled their guts out, you ripped out those fools' hearts – crushing it under your foot, knowing you deserved the love more than their ignorants asses ever did.

And most of all? No one noticed a thing. MORI had continued to send you out mission after mission. He didn't notice the desperate pleads of those immature adults, the heartbreaking cries of those innocent children.

If it was for family, you'd do anything.

After doing all that – you give them a sickly sweet smile, as you pull them to hang out and play with you, no questions asked.

They never noticed.

And quite clear, you were a sadistic young teen. After being so pissed seeing those people getting close to them, it's like a breath of fresh air when you hear the bloodcurdling screams coming from their mouths.

TACHIHARA wasn't that observant, but he could tell that there was something not right about you at all. Yet, he himself was not free from the depths of your pure, honest love. He'll find himself spoiling you, loving you – like you're his very own sister.

He was going to fall into the trap whenever he likes it or not, because you love them way too much.

If someone else tries to destroy that happiness,

They'll just have to dissapear like the rest.

[taevincii]

A little PSA:

There has been some backlash towards the anon who sent in the ‘darkest confession’, which is unacceptable and uncalled for.

Due to that, the post has been deleted BUT there are a few things I would like to get off my chest:

The rude and derogatory comments/assumptions about this individual and their personal hygiene based off a literal joke are absurd and distasteful.

Furthermore, the notion that body hair is unhygienic is not only scientifically inaccurate but perpetuates harmful societal pressures on women, which are fundamentally unjust and very fucking damaging.

Are we going to act like we all don’t have body hair? Like we’ve never forgotten to shave or put off shaving for too long? Lmao

Those of you who get waxed, do you not have to wait 3-4 weeks before your next appointment? What is that hair looking like by week 3? Would you consider that unhygienic?

Exactly. Wrap that discourse up immediately, quickly, and with urgency.

To those who felt what was said was insulting to J - you’re obligated to feel how you feel but, just know, the anon has made it clear that it was a joke and they meant no harm.

The gag is, it was also a fact…lol. His beard doesn’t connect. End of discussion. You can compare it to whatever you want 🤷🏽‍♀️

Friendly reminder - if you:

Cannot take a joke (especially dark humor)

Don’t support women/Aren’t a “girl’s girl”

Use harmful rhetoric

Are racist, sexist, xenophobic, Homophobic(!!!), etc

Support that Copper Coated Conman (y’all know who)

Are not mature enough to simply unfollow or scroll past content you don’t like/don’t agree with

My page is NOT for you!

To the anon who sent in the ask - I am genuinely sorry for the way people have reacted. You do not deserve that and should never have been subjected to such cruel treatment.

Please know, you and your wonderful sense of humor are welcome here and my DMs are always open if you ever want to chat about J and his patchy ass beard 😘❤️

p.s I hate making posts like these - I would like this to be the last. So can we all please act like we got some damn sense and decorum?! Thank you and God bless 😘

[2-faded-memory-2]

Psst dude dude you need to tell me about ur bachelor guy from your random posts ive seen he looks silly as hell. I dont play video game so you are now my oracle for telling me whats up with the sad looking man

i cast ask pigeons to infodump, please?

YES IM EO HAPPY first off it is an honor to be your guide on this totally not cult tour!!! youre getting so so much info chat i cant promise tuis shit isnt gonna spoil the game and the other characters as well (btw this took forever bc i got this right before school lmao i got no downtime til lunch and i had my phone taken away)

roughly, pathologic os a game about curing the plague. you play as three different doctors in the town for various reasons, including the bachelor or daniil dankovsky (the only one were gonna discuss in depth), artemy burakh or the haruspex, and clara no-last-name-i-think or the changling. they hall have different reasons to be in the town but they all want to fivht the oncoming plague

so the bachelor or daniil dankovsky if you will is a doctor (A BACHELOR OF MEDICINE HES NOT SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE) who is specifically interested in defeating death. he runs a lab in the capital (its only referesd to as the capital) trying to do that exact thing, but the powers that be (literally no clue?? i think its god) threaten to shut down his lab for lack of any actual result despite them going at it for years. its around this time that dankovsky receives a letter from an old aquatence or mentor or something named isador burakh, and he is reaching out to tell dankovsky about an old ass dude in his town believed to be immortal. dankovsky immediately packs his bag and is on his way to this town that as far as i can tell doesnt get a name besides a general reference to the river its based next to.

thats basically why dankovsky is at the town bc hes the only one of three playable characters that is an outsider, so bc dankovsky and therefore you have to learn about the town (and also the functions of the game) hes the first person most people play as.

okay so dankovskys ACTUAL character i think thats what youre asking abt soup

hes a little bag of shit shaped like a proper member of society rlly posh right, hes got ties in the high society at least as far as the town goes bc hes basically in w most the town leaders and the only playable character that everyone doesnt want to kill on spot. he is pretentous and most of the dialogue options when he talks to literally anyone revolve around what he specifcally is trying to do and what he is trying to get and him in general. its really fun seeing him only care for himself but literally as soon as. like. anyone asks he is suddenly all for being the town errand boy and will absolutely dump all his worldly possessions into like two causes.

i think my favorite part of his character though his how hes actually like super determined?? like hes just fucking crazy. his two biggest goals in life is to defeat death and also just stand for the truth. its rlly cool seeing this come through in his character bc in dialogue with some of his most trusted allies theyll say something that daniil will know is a lie or isnt the entire truth and he really just picks and picks at it, like its so cool how he might even ruin relationships standing up for little things like that. also he basically poisons himself MULTIPLE TIMES and actively commits crimes and puts his reputation and health on the line (bc sometimes ppl just come up and stab you) LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE he THINKS he can do it better than someone, and that theyll die but he wont bc hes just better that way. YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND

im partially so obsessed w him because ive never seen such an absolute humanitarian like dankovsky (because he is he cares so much about everyone else and keeping them safe and health like gauhhfhs) ALSO BE SUCH A POMPOUS ASS. like OH my GOD its GREAT.

this is mostly abt the first game bc thats the one i have, but another great thing about his character is that hes super bipolar and suicidal. this sounds like a bit but geniunely hes one of my favorite suicidal characters ive ever seen and i know i know its so cliche but chat i feel represented. like i look at him and im like??? same??? oh my god??? we?? me?? you??? and it is so fun. also in the third game its literally a game mechanic that if you dont attend to dankovskys stats right he literally just kills himself???

i dont like that as much but its so goofy

i think thats it besides like major spoilers??? idk theres some shit abt how me and him think alike by the way of mortality and power and such, but hes just so fucking,,, its adicting hes a stupid mother fucker.

also this is a headcanon but he wears high heels and stomps on peoples feet and slaps people oooo fserih hes so cool

also hes canonically rlly short its so fun

[justalildumpling]

⇢ nct dream at parties

pairing: nct dream x reader  genre: college au, crack, fluff warnings: swearing, mentions of drunkness/partying, vomiting, weed, sex (nothing explicit) word count: 1.1k

note: lowk couldn’t stop thinking about jeno playing beer pong at parties and it led to this… lmao i just realised that a lot of these dot points are based off of irl events HHAHAHAH are u guys any of the dreamies at parties?? genuine question😚😚

Mark

Is probably the host’s friend so he was at the party early, setting up the decorations and accidentally spiking the jello shots with more vodka than the recipe required so it ends up tasting like shit

That being said, he would probably be drunk by the time people start rolling in through the door due to him “taste testing” the shots

Lowkey too drunk to comprehend that people are flirting with him and accidentally dude zones them or fumbles over his words when trying to talk up a hot person (no drunk rizz)

Accidentally cockblocks someone by walking into a random room and flopping on the bed without noticing that they were doing the deed

Starts randomly telling everyone that he’s really good at cooking eggs now and that he’ll prove his improved skills (Spoiler: He either burns the eggs and makes the fire alarm go off or someone drags him away from the kitchen)

Weirdly craves cereal by the end of the night so he pours himself a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and heatedly discussed with everyone whether milk or cereal should be poured first 

Renjun

I don’t see him getting piss drunk. He would probably pace his drinks well across the night so he can make sure someone haechan and chenle wouldn’t puncture a hole in the host’s wall

He would be sitting around the fireplace outside, chatting to his friends or just random mutuals about anything

Probably ends up yelling scolding one of his friends at some point (e.g. hyuck) for taking too long in the bathroom  

Calls everyone their respective Uber/partner to pick them up at 3am or tucking them into a random room to sleep

Always holding at least 2 vomit buckets after 11pm and waiting for disaster to happen (aka his friends threatening to puke on the living room floor)

Probably ends up with 10+ new followers on Instagram after every party because he literally talks to everyone and unwillingly became co-host of the party (because the original host got so wasted)

Very exhausted by the end of the night and swears to never go to one ever again (Spoiler: He does because Donghyuck drags him)

Jeno

You cannot tell me that this man would not be at the beer pong table 70% of the night, like nothing can distract this man from winning every round. A hot girl trying to fuck? Nope. Someone offering more alcohol? Nope. Jaemin is throwing up in the bathroom? Ok, maybe.

Unironically would like the taste of cheap beer (maybe he just used to the taste of it after the sheer amount he had to drink from that godforsaken game)

If he gets drunk enough he would start flexing his muscles and comparing sizes with the guys

Probably thinks he looks and acts like the sexiest person alive at that party but in reality becomes a cute little fluff ball and is babied by Jaemin whenever he sees him

He would not be aware of the volume of his voice and would start shouting everything that comes out of his mouth like Renjun could be like 5m away from him but he’d be like “JUN CAN YOU GET ME DORITOS FROM THE PANTRY” and would probably get repeatedly shushed

Ends up drunkenly walking home around 2am 

Haechan

Goes ham on pre drinks and turns up to the party ‘fashionably late’ so he can make a grand entrance

He would be holding a bottle of some sort at all times (whiskey, vodka, tequila, soju pick your poison) and chugging it by the mouth and offering it to anyone he sees and suspects to be “too sober”

responsible for 80% of the queued songs on the party playlist and would turn the living room into a rave

Ubereats KFC halfway into the night, chowing down on way too many wicked wings and stubbornly not sharing to others or if he did, would ask them to venmo him double the money required because he charges “interest”

Would throw up in a fake plant by the end of the night

Jaemin

If this party had a theme/dress code he’s the type of person to dress up as himself ⎯ like the most effort he’ll put into a costume is writing Na Jaemin on an A4 piece of paper and sticking it to his shirt

Probably only came to the party because of the food and that Jeno was going

Mans would either be the most sober one there and taking care of his friends or wasted af and doing the stupidest shit like walking into the same closed door for the tenth time and getting pissed that it wouldn’t let him through

He would probably bring his film camera and take embarrassing photos of his friends and taunting them with it like a month later when the film gets developed

Complains about the taste of alcohol but keeps drinking because he has nothing else to do

He would end up passing out face first on the ground somewhere in the house by the end of the night and scaring the host the next morning 

Chenle

Brings his own expensive ass alcohol as well as raiding the host’s stash too

Like Renjun, i also don't see him getting piss drunk but the difference is that Chenle’s goal of the night was to get black out drunk but couldn’t because his alcohol tolerance was too high

Either sitting by the fireplace being loud or running around the house and annoying people by being loud

The biggest hype man for his friends to do idiotic things (e.g. cheering hyuck on whilst he’s in the process of getting alcohol poisoning)

He would see some people smoking a joint and would join for the lols

He would be the reason for the party getting a noise complaint and the police turning up

Jisung

Probably would take him a couple hours into the party to get drunk and horrified/scared for his friends’ reputation whilst they’re drunk

But once the alcohol hits his system, he would be clinging onto his friends when drunk, wobbling around mumbling his love for everyone

If he has a crush on someone, you bet your ass he’s gonna drunk text a confession and cry when he gets rejected

Would accidentally eat someone’s pot brownies thinking it was the normal ones and being paranoid as hell for the rest of the evening

Would kiss someone jeno’s foot and wouldn’t remember it the next day until someone shows him photographic evidence

taglist: @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @polarisjisung @dearlyminhyung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @daincty @deehyuck @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @barbkh8450t @cupid-yuno @rum-gone-why @mxnhoeuwu @dinonuguaegi @alethea-moon

[patroxlos]

Ate pls update soon!! dont be too pressured tho. Your home base story is so good 😗😗

I'm going to try to bang out some more of ch8 tonight! if i get into the groove itll be out within the weekend :> btw if ure in the PH i hope youre safe atm! the typhoon rlly rocked us this past week

SO while waiting for that to happen, I'll chat BRIEFLY about my thoughts on Ken Sato's insecurities to help me get out of the writer's block for a bit lmao

I fully subscribe to the characterization that Ken can actually be a bit awkward socially when he isn't putting up a pretense and is actually insecure

but what exactly is his source of insecurity?

For me, I don't fully believe all of his confidence is for show lmao. he knows he's a damn good baseball player, he knows he is hot as fuck— he knows he is the shit. I don't think the bullying affected his self-esteem in a way where he doubts himself bc I don't think he'll let white boys tell him what kind of person he is

instead, I think the bullying solidified his difficulty in being vulnerable with others and produced in his brain the false narrative that he is alone

The reason why he built this high self-image of himself is that he believes that he is the only person in his corner, aside from his mom. in connection to his dad, it is to show his dad that he never needed him to be a part of his life even if deep down, he does

Ken puts up the idea that he is the greatest of all time because he wants to show that he can do it without relying on others

it's very western, to hold onto an individualistic viewpoint on success, and to find it admirable that he was able to do it all with pure willpower

but it also makes him very lonely

what's more, i dont think we can divorce ken's insecurities about his inability to connect with others from his struggles with retaining his japanese identity and feeling like a foreigner in his own country

There's a lot more to discuss (I mainly use Erikson's psychosocial theory as a template) esp in terms on how the reader in 'home base' feeds into his insecurities and worsens his abandonment issues, but that's just a bit for now!! will try to update soon

[superego-imagines]

Polkadot man × male reader × Captain Boomerang ot3 hcs pls? :3

((Based on them both being here, I assume both of them have been in the Suicide Squad/you’re going by their Suicide Squad version (Polka Dot Man doesn’t really have a character otherwise lmao). Usually though, unless a specific version is clarified, I’m just going to wing it.))

Getting Together Headcanons:

As you probably guessed, Digger is the one to make the first of any kind of move. Member of the squad, agent, hero, villain, man, woman, nonbinary, it doesn’t matter. If he thinks you’re cute, he doesn’t even ask your name before making sure you’re very aware that he does. Did you stand still long enough for him to approach? Congrats! You’re just his type! His sexual orientation would best be described as: Buzzard. Please make him work for it a bit, if for no other reason than his ego will become utterly unbearable otherwise. He’s cute but if those cheesy pick up lines actually get him your number he’s going to use them anytime he wants something (usually to get out of helping with a chore.)

While the relationship starts out really casual, if you’re willing to listen to him chat you up and down and brag about that time he almost (not even close) beat the Flash, well then he’s throwing you over his shoulder for a shotgun Elvis-Officiated wedding. There’s no reason to wait, you have to live each day like your last, literally in his case. Although he’s on parole now, he could be dragged back to some near-death mission or just arrested at any time. No matter how long you’re together you’ll never fully keep him out of trouble. He just loves it too much!

With Abner, it’s sort of the opposite, it takes a lot of time for you two to form first, a close friendship, and then slooooowly working your way up to a romantic relationship. There’s a lot of trauma there, and on top of that, almost thirty years of mental illness and unhealthy coping mechanisms developed to survive that trauma. So yeah, it’s a bit of a nonstarter for a while. But he does crave companionship, having been without it most of his life. So if you’re willing to be patient and understanding and work within his comfort zone, he quickly starts to open up (maybe a bit too much but you’re glad he feels safe enough to overshare?) Once he starts to see you as a safe person and a friend, it’s easier for him to physically see you as an individual and allow himself to look at you. The real you. And once he sees you…well, it’s hard for him not to catch feelings.

There’s not really much internalized homophobia to work through, if only because he’s always been an outcast, in his mind, what’s one more thing? You’re the first person to really be nice to him. How can it be wrong to pursue this? It takes him ages to express his feelings to you, and finding out about your thing with Digger just sets him back months of progress. He definitely spends about a weekend thinking about a way to kill him, before ultimately resigning himself for a lifetime of loneliness. Luckily, you notice what’s wrong and ask him about it. It doesn’t take much for all the bottled up feelings to come bursting out (possibly accompanied by dots.) It’s real emotional all around and you admit to returning his feelings and that, while you still want to be in a relationship with Digger, there might be a solution that can work for everyone.

I won’t lie, neither of them is super thrilled about the idea of an open relationship, well, Digger kinda likes it in theory but why him? It’s not so much that either of them are opposed to the idea, they’d never really thought about it before. Digger hadn’t been in many committed relationships that required actually discussing boundaries and Abner never thought he’d be in a relationship, let alone one and a half of one. I do think you have to start as more of a V than a triangle. They just really rub each other the wrong way. Abner thinks Digger's annoying and rude and Digger thinks he’s a “creepy lil’ cunt.” It also sort of brings out their insecurities whether they acknowledge it or not. They each thrive where the other falls short. Neither can see what you see in the other but they both love you and want desperately to try and make things work even if it means -ugh- spending time with each other.

But eventually, as they watch each other interact with you, they get to see the version of the other that you see. Digger can be sweet when he wants to be (or wants something.) Abner is capable of cracking a joke about once a month. Maybe they aren’t completely unbearable. And if you like them, how bad can they be? And what was a begrudging truce slowly blossoms into something more, even if they’re both a little too emotionally constipated to actually put it into words.

General Relationship Headcanons:

I hope you enjoy your scary and small but ferocious dog privilege. Both of them know how much they hit the jackpot and when they’ve finally stopped fighting each other over you, they become a very protective team. (Not that you can’t hold your own of course.) The Captain is not a particularly jealous guy, if anything it puffs him up a bit knowing everyone else wants what he’s got. Abner, however, is but sometimes lacks the ability to find a middle ground between complete conflict avoidance and murdering an entire room full of people, and the latter would really ruin the night out. Luckily, if Abner asks, Digger is not remotely above making a huge public display of obscene affection and openly challenging anyone in a ten foot radius to fight him about it.

Ideal date for Abner would be a nice night in with good takeout and a bunch of movies. He has so much to catch up on and you two have a list a mile long of things you want to show him. He also has to worry about his condition less, knowing he’ll be in the comfort of his home when he needs to excise some energy and he won’t get weird looks like he does when he starts to glow in a public movie theater. Ideal date for Digger: Stealing Renting a roofless luxury car and just driving out into the country. Past the satellite towns of Central City, there’s nothing but plains where you won’t see another car for miles. He could drive as fast as he wants, without any cops on his case, his boyfriend in the passenger seat (and later, boyfriend two sitting in the back), singing along to each other's favorite songs at the top of their lungs. He doesn’t really have anything planned out beyond that but it's what he thinks about while he waits for you two to rangle up bail money.

Cohabiting is…a bit of a learning curve. Probably one of the hardest parts of your relationship. Abner wants to be helpful but he spent the first half of his life in a lab and the rest in the psych ward of a maximum security penitentiary. He’s literally never had to keep track of the sort of basic things that go into keeping a household running. The idea that if he wants something, he can have it, but he has to do it himself. He’s never cooked for himself, chose his own clothes, or even had agency over his own schedule. Every minute of his day had always been accounted for, and while poorly, his most basic needs were taken care of for him at Belle Reeves. So you have to teach/remind him of a lot of the things that may not occur to you to tell someone. But you get to learn it together! And learning/trying out new recipes or teaming up on a chore can be fun in its own way. At least he’s willing to learn. Digger is…a bit more work. He has lived alone for a long time, but unsupervised. Be prepared for a lot of “What do you mean you have to wash towels? Ain’t the point of a shower that you’re clean at the end?” Or melted plastic in your nice new dishwasher. It wouldn’t be so bad if he would just listen and wasn’t so stubborn about his way working just fine. He’s just a bit set in his ways and it’s hard to get him used to a new routine, set of standards, and just generally living with other folks. But he’ll always come around in the end. ;)