#based off of euphoria so it's not my idea! just saying

[greer2301]

My Mothers Keeper

Daemon X Fem!Reader

|Step father x step kid fantasy taboo|

Reader is of age!

Smut! MDNI !

He looked so good, his blonde hair cut short, brows pulled together as he leant back and took a sip of his wine with his free hand thudding his fingers along the edge of the table.

I know what those fingers feel like. The euphoria they bring me when he plays with the bundle of nerves between my legs, I know how they fit in my mouth and how my juices taste on them. Daemon Targaryen, my step father, my mother’s keeper and the only man to know what I truly desire.

He sat conversing with Jace about his swordsmanship, he didn’t give away if he noticed my hand creeping up his thigh. Having been leant against his chair for quite some time now no one questions when I lean in a little more. Mother too immersed in what Luke has to say to pull away her attention, I work my hand over his clothed length smirking when I feel him harden in my palm and his body slightly tenses. I loosen the lace on his pants just enough to pull him out, slicking my hand with his seed as I begin to stroke him slowly. I take the opportunity that no one’s paying attention, slipping beneath the table as I keep working his cock.

I wait a moment for someone to notice, my core throbbing as I stroke his thick cock knowing anyone could catch us if they paid any attention. I take him in my mouth, licking from his base to the tip swirling my tongue and tacking him in fully hollowing out my cheeks, bobbing my head quickly and stroking what I can’t reach while twisting my wrist. Daemons hand moved from the table to hold my hand that rested on his clothed thigh, squeezing at times to let me know it feels as good as I think it does. His hand moves to my hair and he shoves my head down without warning, my gag reflex triggers as he blows his load in the back of my throat I swallow and pull off slowly. I clear my throat after I sit back in my seat, taking a sip of wine and placing Joffrey on my lap as his nurse maid brings him in.

Slowly everyone disperses from the dinning area, I step into my room to take my bath, the boys are gone down to the dragon mont, Joffrey is off with his nursemaid and I have no idea where mother and Daemon went. I strip of the days clothes and get into the bath, unbraiding my hair as I breathe in the rose and vanilla oils in the water humming a tune from a bards ballad. I was washing my hair when he came in through one of the old tunnels, quietly sitting at the table across from me and pouring himself some wine as he watched me finish bathing. As I was ready to get out he brought a drying sheet, extended me his hand helping me down the steps while admiring my bare self.

“You’re truly an amazing creature” Daemon started “A little fox, sneaky, beautiful and vicious” Daemon teases as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close and kissing my neck. Running his hands around my damp curves as he walks us to the bed, his lips molding with mine before he removes my towel and lifts me onto the bed. Daemon wastes no time as his fingers immediately make contact with my aching core, my slick coating his fingers as he skillfully manipulates my clit. “You’re such a pretty whore, a whore for your daddy huh” Daemon grumbles out, his voice thick with lust as he looks into my mixed coloured eyes and watches the look of pleasure on my face.

“Only for Daddy” I tell him with a tremble, gasping as he inserts two fingers in my aching cunt and starts ruthlessly thrusting into me. “Mmm- you were fucking made for me” Daemon says as he moves over me, removing his hand from me and placing his mouth on my clit, his tongue drawing shapes as he applies more pressure. “S’good daddy, please don’t stop, fuck” I moan out as he places his fingers back in and sets his pace again his mouth slurping my juices relentlessly as he shakes his head with a moan. “Need yo- your cock, Daddy please” I moan arching my back as I feel my climax coming. Daemon just moans in response pressing his head against me harder, with one last flick of his tongue I cum. Shaking and sweating, hands holding his head in between my legs moans flowing loudly out of my mouth as he rubs my thighs his tongue slowly helping me ride out my high.

“Now you’ll take Daddy’s cock you little slut” Daemon demands as he unlaces his pants, pushing them down and rubbing his hard length between my lips collecting my slick, without warning he thrusts into me, my hand finding his hip and our eyes locked as we both moan at the sensation. Daemon is ruthless in his speed, slamming his hips into mine with each thrust squelching sounds being heard around the room as his dick forces my cunt open. Our moans are hardly held back, his hands holding my legs bent and pushed back as one of mine plays with my nipple and the other grips his wrist. “Daddy feels so good!” I moan out, back arching off the bed as he thrusts deeper, his head thrown back a little before he looks back at me with a smirk “This is Daddy’s perfect fucking pussy. I’ll burn any man who tries to claim it” Daemon groans as he lets go of my leg and moves to wrap his hand around my neck, cutting off blood flow with the new position his pelvis slaps my clit with each thrust.

“Gonna fucking cum Daddy” I moan out as I scratch his wrist, my pussy tightening around his cock as I start to see stars. “Cum on Daddy’s cock sweet girl” Daemon demands, speeding up his thrusts and pushing me over the edge, shaking as I choke out a moan and cream all over his pretty cock, Daemon moans as he spills his seed in me and stays still for a moment. “You’re going to bare my child, you will never know another cock” Daemon says breathlessly, walking to the basin and grabbing a damp cloth coming back to wipe me off and then himself. Daemon says nothing else as he crawls into bed and holds me close, caressing my shoulder as I snuggle into his side. “We are not naming him fucking Aegon” I tell him finally realizing what he said. “On that we agree” Daemon says with a chuckle.

[lottiecrabie]

hiii You know who this is can i please please please have cyosa mutual masturbation i lost so hard every time but once and you know you love meeeee 😇😇😇😇

this is for you🫵you know who you are. I love you🫶

‘matty…’ you moan, half as a beg and half as a mindless need. he chuckles, opening your thighs for him, putting you on display. you’re so ready you might take him right now. 

matty’s hand still dances on your thigh, working higher and higher. your breath hitches, anticipating the fateful meeting. he whispers, smirking, ‘how about you show me how you do it?’

your cheeks flame at the idea. you clench your thighs, trapping him in place, embarrassed. he doesn’t seem too bothered. he revels in prying them open again, grazing the ready skin until you’re squirming.

‘why would i when you’re right here?’ as if to convince him, you reach for his leftover hand, dragging it to a pert breast. he chuckles. his finger rolls the nipple and you sigh, still holding onto his wrist.

‘i want to see,’ he says. ‘i want to learn.’ you groan, half from pleasure and half from shyness. you hide in your shoulder, arching your back into his hand in contradiction. again, a laugh falls from him. ‘how about i show you too?’

your eyes snap to him, suddenly interested. he kneels up, towering over your parting frame. his hand makes quick work of his belt— quicker than your hungry, shaking ones could have done. he draws his cock out without any hesitation, holding it at the base. your breath dies in your throat. you freeze under him.

‘i’m already hard,’ matty says. ‘don’t even have to think about you cause you’re already laying there like a fucking daydream.’

you grin, spreading your legs further, giving him a show. a tortured groan rasps out his throat. ‘fuck, love, you’re gorgeous.’ he strokes himself once, swiping his thumb over the tip. you lick your lips, though you do not feel the need to reach out and do it yourself. you want to relish in the spectacle.

you get him, now. he knows this. says, ‘show me.’

you don’t feel as shy. your hand grabs his own, puppeteering him so he pinches and rolls your peaked nipples just right. a broken moan comes out of you. in turn, he strokes faster.

‘i don’t like the before,’ you choke out. ‘i’d rather just get to it.’ it’s all the warning you give him before you plunge your hand between your folds, circling your clit.

‘shit,’ matty cries. ‘you’re not real.’ you hum, pinching the skin of his wrist mischievously, reveling in his little yelp. ‘what do you think about?’

you shrug, non-committed. ‘i like my mind blank.’ matty tsks and shakes his head. you almost want to laugh, but your fingers hit a sinful spot and you’re too busy whining out.

‘you’re doing it wrong,’ he breathes. his hand is still hard at work on himself. he needs to frown in concentration to get his thought out. ‘the before, the imagination— that’s what it’s all about. you won’t get a mind-blowing orgasm if you don’t involve your mind.’

‘do it, then,’ you whimper. ‘mindblow me.’

he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. ‘i didn’t expect you to be lazy.’ the challenge works and you set your eyes, competitiveness bubbling in your chest. vengefully, you dip two fingers inside, watching as he slows his rhythm in quiet wonder.

you thrust in and out, angling your fingers until your legs twitch mindlessly. your nails dig into his skin, and it’s not even to send any kind of message. he’s wrong about the mind. you masturbate to get you off— off that tyrannical ride your head leads ruthlessly. this, the hot euphoria beating in your veins, the quiet moans, the shivering limbs, is what it’s about.

‘i’ll tell you, then,’ matty says. he seems close, pumping his cock fast and certain. his chest rises and falls, the tattooed planes of his stomach in perfect display. you want to spread a hand over it, want to descend down and replace his hand, want to— you thumb your clit and stop wanting.

‘i think about you, all pretty and hot and needy. never this perfect, though. god, you’re really not real— like a fucking frosted cupcake, all sweet for me.’ the words fizzle up your chest. pleasure strikes through you, doubly so, and you cry his name in sheer shock.

matty continues, ‘i think about you in the library, bending you over until i erase that little worried frown you have. make you suck my fingers so you keep quiet still. don’t want to get banned— still need you to ride my cock on those big chairs after all.’

‘oh, god,’ you whine. you rub your clit furiously, eyes rolling back, seemingly astral projected to the library. your lips part in quiet worship. ‘more,’ you beg him.

matty pinches your nipple, forcing you to look at him. ‘your turn.’

you pant, trying to use your brain when your fingers are deep and quick inside of you, when he’s hanging off with that swoopy hair over his forehead and those dark, hungry eyes. you’re drunk on the mere sight of him, and you start fearing how he’ll affect you when he’s the one thrusting inside you.

‘i—‘ your legs kick, helpless. ‘sometimes when we watched movies, i’d think about you eating me out on the couch.’

matty groans, scrunching his eyes like he’s imagining it. ‘yeah? what’d i do?’

‘just— you’d kneel in front of me, and you’d tell me to pay attention, and then you’d do it. devour me like you were starved. shush me when i got too loud, remind me to watch my smart, pretentious film.’

another broken cry slips out of him. he falls over you, though still holding himself up with an arm. your now free hand spread over his ribs, back, anything your greediness can find. both your fingers work in tandem between your bodies, a quiet union you’ve just now noticed. you roll your head, hit his wrist. ‘matty…’

‘i thought about you asking me to fuck you before,’ matty admits offhandedly, lost in his pleasure. your fingers press into his working shoulder, mean. ‘fuck, i almost believed i was imagining when you really did ask me. figured i was going crazy.’

you twist your head, kissing his wrist over and over, tiny presses of love you don’t dare say. your tongue sticks out and licks it all up before it stays and means something. ‘again,’ you moan, feeling yourself get closer. your hips rise for your strained digits. your body hums in warning.

‘i want to come on your stomach. want to mark your skin— god, need it. need to see you all pretty with my cum, make you all messy. show you’re mine.’

‘matty,’ you scream, pumping your fingers just right.

’need to see you come, too. break apart so you’re not so perfect. my pristine, pretty girl, drooling for me, screaming my name, working those little fingers…’

‘fuck—‘

‘you’re doing so well for me,’ he promises. his hand has lost any sense of regular rhythm, pumping with desperate abandon instead. ‘just like i though,’ he says, full of wonder. he seems so gone you’d figure he’s all in his head, but matty stares at you like he could lick up the frost off the cupcake. ‘of course you’d listen. of course you’d do just i say.’

‘fuck, i need—‘ it’s on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t get to say, a shattering orgasm taking you instead.

you open your jaw and dig your teeth in matty’s wrist, biting down the yells as waves of pure ecstasy shake through you. your head, never quite unattached before, blanks with the force of pleasure. you say his name, you think. or maybe not. in the end, you don’t think at all, and it is glorious.

matty’s close after you, screaming out your name shamelessly. the ropes of white cum hit your stomach and he draws out his last trembles before he falls atop you with a sigh.

your head’s all fuzzy as you lay there. ‘oh,’ you finally say once you regain speech. you trace a finger over his back, staring at the ceiling in quiet contemplation. oh, this is what it’s supposed to be.

‘yeah,’ matty murmurs in your hair. because he understands, of course he does. your lungs feel full and heavy.

he finally rises and you catch a glance to the mess between your two bodies. the cum is painted over both of your stomach. though matty doesn’t even bother wiping it off before he smirks, kissing down your sternum. his eyes flash up at you, full of mischief. ‘so you want me to eat you out, huh?’

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter one: Save Your Tears —✿

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: pregnancy, angst, cursing, drugs

Author’s Note: I came up with this idea based on my first book on tumblr Juno, after watching euphoria again. Hope y’all enjoy!

—✿

“SHIT.”

Noelle was three months along when she found out, freshly three months…

“Fuck!”

—✿

So on New Years when Nate and noelle fought…people started to talk about the slight stomach bump under her shirt.

—✿

“Fuck you Nate!”

“Noelle I’m serious. You can’t get ride of it.” Nate shouted, looking around the room to be sure that the two of them were alone. Not that everyone didn’t see the two walk into the bathroom together arguing but you get the point.

When Noelle had forst found out she was pregnant the first person she told was fezco. The two of them had always been close, maybe because they both grew up without their parents. But Fezco was always there for her, I guess in a way she didn’t get to have with Nate growing up.

“Shit ma. You’re in it bad.” Fezco said, staring down at the pregnancy test in his hands.

“Thanks fez, I know.” She joked, making them both chuckle. He leaned back against the couch, taking a hit from his joint before shaking his head.

“You let that ass have sex with you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as Noelle sighed.

“I know fez, I know. I just, I don’t know what to do.”

He noticed the way her tone changed in seconds. He took note of how her manner shifted and her hands clenched slightly.

“It’ll be okay ma. You know you always have a place here.” Fezco reassured, referring to how badly she feared her parents reaction. Not that they really cared about her all too much, she just new they would happily kick her out based on the news.

“Thanks fez.”

��Did you tell him yet?” Fez asked, causing a long groan to leave Noelle’s lips.

“That’s my next job.”

So she told him at new years. She told him and then told him she was getting rid of it. For someone who had a hell ton of shit going on, Nate was pretty pissed off about Noelle getting rid of the baby.

—✿

“It’s my damn body Nate! I’m sorry but unfortunately you have no say.” Noelle said angrily, storming into the bathroom to fight where no one would hear

“It’s my kid to.” Nate reasoned, stomping after her as she tried to avoid him.

“To hell it is. More the reason to get rid of it.” She said, throwing her hands in the air as she looked at him angrily.

“You can’t.”

“I'm not talking talking to you.” She hissed, turning on her heel and leaving the bathroom.

“Noah…” he tried, using her childhood nickname to try and connect with him.

“Im not talking to you Nate.”

“Would you stop walking away from me, I’m trying to talk to you…”

“Oh please.” She scoffed, shaking her head as she now pushed through people to make it out the door.

“You, you can’t Noah!”

“Fuck off!” She yelled, opening her car door getting ready to leave.

“Can we just talk about this?”

“This isn’t your concern anymore Nate, I’m stopping it now before it gets anywhere…” she explained, about to sit in her car before he shouted, his fists clenched angrily at his sides.

“You can’t abort it Noelle!” He shouted, looking around to make sure no one heard before quieting down a bit. “I won’t let you!”

“Excuse me?” She bit back.

“I don’t want you to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I can’t be hearing this right. You, Nate fucking Jacobs, the boy who, told me he loved me before running off to fuck my best friend…you suddenly hear that you knocked me up, and all of the sudden you think you have the right to tell me what to do with my own fucking body?” She shouted, now even angrier then before.

—✿

It was true, before Cassie, and before Maddy, there was Noelle. Nate’s first girlfriend. Back when Nate didn’t lose all of his will to live anymore. Nate was with Noelle for almost all of our junior year. Sometimes he wondered how his life would be if he didn’t cheat on her with maddy. If he stayed with Noelle…maybe his life wouldn’t be all that bad. Maybe he wouldn’t be standing here right now, with some sort of melancholy feeling about a baby that would bring the two together forever.

—✿

“It’s my kid too…” he said softly, which in turn only made her angrier.

“Just because you fucked me, and have the biggest ego on the planet that your so big and mighty, doesnt mean it’s your kid.”

“Oh yeah? Who else could it be then huh?” He hissed, now feeling angry again.

“What?”

“Go on.”

“Wouldn’t you love to know.” She hissed, shaking her head as he shrugged.

“I really would.”

He got closer to her, making her stomach drop slightly as she stared back at him.

“I don’t…look, I really don’t want you to get ride of it.” He said softly, noticing how close they had now gotten.

“You don’t have any say. Look Nate, you decided to stop having a say in my life the second you started fucking Maddy, so don’t for a second think you have any responsibilities or honors to me. You aren’t big and mighty Nate, you weren’t made to be a dad, I wasn’t made to be a mother. We’re better off I end this now, then let it drag on.”

And with that she left. Getting into her car and returning to fezco’s house for the 6th time that week since her parents had been away.

—✿

So when Fezco heard that Nate wasn’t gonna be there for Noelle. Not only that, but that he gave her a hard time about it? He didn’t hesitate to beat the shit out of him right there at the party.

All Nate could see as Fezco’s fists pounded his face was Noelle.

[ethansluvbot]

hi maylee! could you do something based on this dialogue from euphoria where ethan unmasks and the reader says this and it's just super heart breaky?

love you! <3

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME | E. LANDRY

warnings: gf!ethan, MAJOR SPOILERS!!!, mentions of blood and knives.

an: hey, yes of course i will do this. i actually love this idea and would cry if this was ever in the scream movies. inspired by “right where you left me” because i’ve been listening to it on repeat. this is lowkey shitty so like yeah!

❛YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE,

it was crazy to think that two hours ago you and ethan were hand and hand walking to your dorm. now, you couldn't find him anywhere. you began to worry about him greatly, even with sam, tara and chad reassuring you.

the images that were in your head didn't help one bit. it’s not that you didn’t trust ethan to protect himself, it’s just the ghost face now even more brutal. after what happened to anika you didn’t know what to believe anymore.

now you were standing there watching chad brutally be stabbed. blood gushed out of his mouth as he told you guys to go. you couldn’t believe this was happening to him it might’ve even happened to ethan already.

you felt a hand grab onto your arm as you stared blankly at chads body. hearing sam screaming snapped you back to reality as you smacked the ghost face with your bag. (yes we must keep this bag)

your legs quickly matched the pace of the two girls in front of you. since you were last it was pretty fair to believe that you were next. there’s a sudden stop causing you to collide into sam’s back.

“shit,” you look up to see a detective bailey. tarah was inches away from his chest as she let out a muffled scream.

“you have to help us! there almost here, please!”

to say you were terrified was a understatement. he motioned for you guys to get behind him, raising the gun the way they were running.

you were still worried for chad and ethan. yes, you saw chas had been stabbed multiple times, but he never died. you were only hoping that they both still lived, that you would live to see them again.

bailey stood up in front of the three of you with his gun aimed at their head. he began to lower his gun with a short laughter. he walked closer to then standing in the middle.

“great job both of you,” he chuckles pointing the gun in your face. closing your eyes you felt him still staring at you.

“look at me!”

you automatically flinched as you heard him yell at you. what did he want from you? you sure as hell didn’t want to die tonight, but if it was for your friends at least you would feel good about it.

“who are they?” you heard sam ask. bailey just cocked his head to the side waiting for one of them to unmask. you watched as one of them began to take their mask off.

“no don’t do this to me,” you feel a tear crawl down your face. it was ethan, he was the killer, he might’ve even killed your best friend. reaching up he wiped your tear. even after seeing you cry he was still smiling.

“mindy was right, it was really easy duking the roommate lottery, all i had to do to meet you was room with a conceited condescending alpha literally named chad. fuck, it felt good to kill him!the best part, my name’s not even ethan landry, isn’t that right dad?”

you couldn’t even recognize the “ethan” you were looking at right now. after months of dating this boy you would never expect him to behave like this. you almost felt like the whole thing was a big joke.

you look into his eyes to see nothing, he wasn’t the boy that you truly loved. no matter how much. you cared for him you didn’t want to talk to this monster.

“so that leaves one more…” you hear tara mutter.

“mindy?” sam ask, petrified that one of her best friends would ever do that. mindy was the one always trying to help the group. no one ever believed she could set us up for failure.

“hi roomies, didn’t see that coming did you?”

“yeah because you died,” you didn’t know quinn very well so seeing her there didn’t shock you much. the thing that shocked you was she never talked to ethan before.

“i kind of didn’t, needed to get myself off the suspect list, stabbing gale and mindy was kind of fun,” she giggled to herself jumping forward with the knife.

you flinched back in shock bumping into the two girls. after a while of them yelling at you, you began to zone out. you still couldn’t process that ethan would ever hurt you like this.

you could feel him staring at you almost like he felt bad. you felt a cold metal slide up your arm making you focus again. you knew better than to turn around and look at them.

you stared into ethan’s eyes with a great frown. there was still active tears forming and falling down your face. you feel the sharp object shove inside your stomach. 

screaming out in pain you fall to the floor. quinn pulls it out and shoves it back it, except this time she doesn’t pull it back out.

“quinn!” you hear ethan voice yell at her.

“you ruin all the fun.” she rolls her eyes at ethan, she always believed he was the weakest link. he was always the fool who got his heart broken, the one that didn’t want to hurt anymore, yet his dad still convinced him.

maybe he only did it because his dad forced him into it, but either way it was fucked up. killing people and lying about it was horrible. so why did you feel bad when you heard bailey talking about richie. you could see the tears forming in ethan’s eyes as he realized he wasn’t the priority.

you almost feel like they weren’t even there, most of the sound was drowned out and your eyes were blurry from crying. you watch as quinn, bailey and ethan all stand back together.

“go!” you yell to the two of them, if you died tonight you just wanted them to make it out alive. you watched as tara’s mascara smears around her eyes.

“i love you,” all she wants to think about is the group all surviving tonight, “we’ll come back for you!!”

you feel the knife stolen from your body as quinn runs after them, bailey runs the other way and ethan stands over you.

“i’m sorry.”

“no you’re not,” you couldn’t believe those words after you knew what he was capable of. he was a good liar you would give him that. you felt a year but your face but this time it wasn’t yours.

you felt a ripped piece of his cloth tie around your waist. you groaned in pain as he began to sit you up.

“get away from me you crazy bitch.”

he couldn’t lie and say those words didn’t hurt him. he deserved it and he knew that, but when he saw how terrified you were he couldn’t help but tear up.

“goodbye y/n,” you watch as he almost stands up, but you stop him. you play with the piece of glass in your hands, about to do something that ethan would’ve done.

“hey, ethan?”

he turns back at you, “yeah?”

“fuck you,” you lunge the piece of glass into his mouth. falling to the ground you watch as blood spills out of his mouth.

BUT TO STAY HERE FOREVER ❜



[galaxywarp]

What do you do when you're in a bad headspace and can get out and it affects friendships and they start leaving you and you're alone and have no idea what to do and you think life and yourself can't improve

It was a slow and grueling process but my friendships finally started genuinely improving only after I worked my ass off to learn how to comfort myself. Because I could never truly get the comfort and relief I was looking for in other people and trying to was just setting us all up to fail.

Little tangible things I’ve done over the course of several long months that have added up to feeling kind of better:

-I go out of my way to thank myself when I do something nice for myself, no matter how small. I started with bagging up a single bag of trash. I placed my hand over my heart and said hey thanks for doing that. It felt gross and fake. I did it even if it felt gross and fake. It stopped feeling so gross and fake eventually.

-if im spiraling i try to pick my next activity based on the outcome i want. If I pick up my phone, what am i looking for? Humor to distract me? Something to read? Do I want to write about how im feeling? Listen to a song about how im feeling?

-say “thanks for listening” instead of “sorry for venting” to your loved ones.

-leave traces of your own existence for yourself. Pictures. Notes. Drawings. If you have a thought and a notebook just write it down. It helps me feel more like a real person when I leave evidence behind that im here. It’s also comforting to be able to help recall memories and feelings that are blurry with time.

-find something cheap and dumb that makes you happy. I like bouncy balls that you can get for a quarter from those machines and the little tiny toy slinkies that they sell at my grocery store. These things serve no purpose but to be fun to hold and throw around and eventually lose

-try to remember that good days don’t have to be filled with excitement or joy. A good day can maybe just mean that today you didn’t feel as much despair as yesterday. Contentment with neutrality instead of seeking euphoria

-everything cycles. Mood tracking can help me remember that. I have weeks where I feel so sad that im sure I’ve never felt anything except sad but then I look and a journal entry from last month says that I had a few pretty good days in a row actually. And I’ll have a few pretty good days in a row again eventually

hang in there.

[sweetlysymphonic]

"You can put it in your mouth, if you want~?"

The moment those words left him did a mound of shock appear upon your face. Did... Did he really just suggest that? And in the middle of the *bar*, no less?

"What?" You exclaim seconds later.

"What?" You couldn't see them, but the wideness of his eyes was a pretty easy thing to imagine after the realization of his slip-up. Z clears his throat and starts to move back in his seat.

As he does so, admittedly, curiosity had gotten the better of you and your hand outstretches moments later. Z's upcoming words immediately die in his throat as fingers brush against his tail once more. Your fingers, careful digits running along the sleek base. "You know you're insufferable, right?"

"Y-yeah?" He stammers out, shifting in his chair. "How so?"

"Well, you're relentless in advances despite me saying you're ridiculous," you say with a simple few strokes of the appendage. "That alone strikes a chord with me, albeit you also just don't know when to quit. That's the real kicker." Your stroking briefly increased in pace.

A small groan emanates from the demon, the claws on his right hand sinking into the table. The tapping form earlier had long gone into a near grip onto the mahogany surface. This seemed to intrigue you, and you went *just* a little faster. Their noises only worsened.

"I-is that all, Dove? That I'm, nngh~, relentless in my conquests?" Z attempted to laugh but cut themself off as you continued the quickness of your hand's motions. The poor bastard's knee hikes up and impacts with the table, catching your attention, slowing the strokes.

An idea forms in your head. Oh good lord. . .

"Hmmm, no, but maybe teaching you a lesson will make me feel better."

"What do yo- NnGh~!" A deep pink flushes their face as the sensation of a wet muscle glides over the tip of their tail. Soft pants leave them as you continue your work, leaving slick streaks along the tip and resuming your quick strokes along the base. Swirling your tongue, prodding his tail with it, gently applying pressure to his base at the same time - whatever got the best reactions out of them, you'd do it time and time again. After all, if he wanted to play games and act like a horny asshat, then so could you.

However, after a moment or two, you decided he deserved a break from your vengeant teasing and slow your stroking once more. You move your head from the tip of his tail, and you hear what sounded like a sigh of relief coming from Z.

"Got quite a tongue there, Dove." He pants, clearing his throat with a shit-eating smirk. "A shame you're too scared to *really* use it-"

He just had to keep talking.

An unimpressed look falls over your face at his words. So much for letting him have a break. . . You crane your neck ever so slightly and take the tip between your lips. Will you be punished for this later? Perhaps, but this was much too fun to cease now.

Z freezes momentarily before nearly collapsing in his chair, hiding his face in the crook of his arm. While he has a meltdown, you make quick work of taking a decent half of his tail in your mouth, gently sucking. Your stroking increases in speed once more, much faster than before.

"M-more~..." He mumbles incoherently. You hum quizzically, the vibrations from your mouth sending him euphoria.

"More. More, Dove~."

That was all you needed to hear. Your efforts hastened with sucking and digits gliding along his tail's base, pants and soft moans leaving the demon as he seemed near a breaking point.

"I-I- I'm-" Claws drag down the table, leaving deep indentations as a show of his struggle. "F-fuck, Dove~. I'm gonna-" Just as his head tosses back, everything suddenly stops. Your hand paused, your tongue and lips leave his tip, and now your back in your seat across from him. Mop of hair in front of his eyes, he still gave a look of shock. "W-wha-"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you hoping I'd give you satisfaction?" A knowing smile etches onto your face. "You're funny, but I'm not some exhibitionist willing to give you a big O in the middle of a bar. Sorry." You shrug.

Z gives a still stare, leaning over the table. "You are such a filthy brat. You know what I do with brats like you?"

"Teach me a lesson'? 'Remind me of my place'? Go ahead." Despite gulping around nervousness forming in your throat, you fight back. "Remind me, bitch."

"Oh you'll be reminded, you little slut. We're leaving. Now."

It wasn't a request so much as an order, and you wouldn't have had it any other way. You purposefully take your time gathering your belongings and tucking in the chair, a harsh smack to your ass sending you into overdrive to hurry up.

It was going to be a long night for you. . .

[moonlighter-at-midnight]

ror | shiva x reader | the hot spring screwup

hi there! this is my first writing piece in yeeeears so sorry if it’s booty. i originally was working on a buddha chapter piece but got this idea and decided to post this first since it’s just a little one off thing. the idea of the reader’s character is basically the same as the one that i will be writing about in the buddha piece. so if you like this, be on the lookout for that release! also, i have only watched the anime so what I know is solely based on that (with some additional research courtesy of professor google) so if there are any inaccuracies, i apologize! anyway, please enjoy! ♡

warnings: nudity, no sexy time but heavily alludes to it, basically straight up mentions wanting to bang shiva

spice level: 🌶️🌶️🌶️/5

You sigh dreamily as you step into the steaming water, sinking down until you were submerged from the neck down. Your tense muscles unraveled and the dull ache of your wounds waned, sending you into a state of pure euphoria. In life, you had fought in a myriad of brawls, but none quite like this. It was a battle of souls, a bout that would affect humanity’s fate, and against a god no less. However, you had managed to overpower your opponent in the very end, saving your soul from decimation and adding another triumph under humanity’s belt — and all at the cost of a badly broken arm, cracked ribs, and bruised lungs. Despite the advanced technology and medicine of the god realm, it did little to quell your pain. Thankfully, one of the nurses told you about the incredible hot spring, and you were all too pleased to learn that the bandages were infused with some type of magic that allowed it to get wet. Valhalla was sure an interesting place.

The idyllic silence is abruptly broken when you hear several pairs of feet shuffle into the area. You grumble quietly at having to share the divine space. You were not in the mood to interact with people especially if they were gods. That was the very last thing you wanted. But, the hot spring seemed spacious enough and paired with the heavy shroud of steam, you’d probably have very minimal to no contact with whoever else had entered. As long as you stayed in your little nook at the far side of the spring, they wouldn’t bother you right?

“This was a good idea. I’m getting riled up and tense waiting for my turn to fight. If only old man Zeus hadn’t browbeat me into letting him take my turn. This will definitely help loosen me up.”

You freeze, your once relaxed muscles stiffening at the sound of the booming voice.

What?? Is that a man’s voice? It couldn’t be.. No, it has to be a mistake…this is the women’s hot spring…maybe it’s just a woman with a deep voice. Yeah, that’s it..a woman with a deep voice, you think to yourself trying to assuage your panicking mind. Your breathing grows shallow as you nervously listen for affirmation that these were indeed women. Females. Girls. Fellow vagina owners. And not men.

“Always itching for a fight huh Shiva? Glad to know you haven’t changed,” another voice says as multiple laughs erupt into the air.

Your stomach drops, and you feel like it’s falling out of your butt as your fears are dismally confirmed. Not only were they men, but at least one of them, if not all, were gods.

Fuck me.

You try to ever so silently press yourself against a rock in the farthest corner possible, dipping yourself lower into the water so that you were only visible from the nose up. If it weren’t for the thick steam emanating from the spring, you surely would have already been noticed.

The water sloshes and ripples as the men make their way into the spring, causing your anxiety to further skyrocket as your chances of a clean escape begin to dwindle. You had to get the hell out of here. You try to devise a plan to flee undetected or at least without your identity being discovered. If you ever meet the legendary Mulan, you’d have to ask her how the hell she did it. But, here were the cold, hard facts: You were butt ass naked. At least five to six men were here, probably all gods, one of them being the all powerful Shiva. The exit and your towel were on the completely opposite side of where you were. You had a broken arm, broken ribs, broken everything really; you were in no condition to fight.

Plan A: Jump out of the spring from where you were and run like hell. High risk of slipping, falling, breaking your neck, and then having your dead, naked body discovered by a bunch of male gods. Next.

Plan B: Walk across the spring and hope that you don’t get noticed. High risk of getting caught and bumping into someone who will kill you and then having your dead, naked body discovered by a bunch of male gods. Next.

Plan C: Swim underwater. The water seemed clear enough. However, your lungs were bruised, and although not fatal or very serious, that put your breath holding capacity to maybe like five seconds. Ten if you were feeling daring. Not to mention you had only one good arm. You were sure this plan would probably also lead to your dead, naked body being discovered by male gods. Next.

Plan D: Quietly stay behind this rock and hope they leave without ever detecting your presence. Hmmm. Alright, (y/n), okay. I might be on to something here. They haven’t discovered me yet, and they’re probably on the other side and are totally not going to come over here. No risk of being discovered dead and naked. None whatsoever.

You nod to yourself, stupidly confident in your plan and so totally absorbed in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the white haired, smoking man that had peered at you from over the other side of the rock.

“Who are you? Why you hiding behind this rock?” the man asks nonchalantly.

You jerkily pause your head mid-nod and slowly look up at him. At this point, you were still only visible from the nose up. And just like that, your plan had gone up in flames.

“Well? Are you going to say something or are you just going to hide in the water?” he speaks again.

“Indra, who are you talking to over there?” yells one of the men.

“I found some guy hiding over here. Varuna, clear the steam will ya?”

Suddenly, the dense haze of steam dissipates. You peek out from behind the rock and are confronted by five other pairs of intense eyes. The white haired man, who you gathered as Indra, gets down from the rock and joins the rest of the group. Among the men was a blue man with an elaborate headdress, a long, white haired man with some sort of weird mask over his face, a large, tan man with purple beads around his neck, a black, spiky haired man with four arms adorned with several tattoos, and last but not least, the one with the most intense aura of them all — a purple, four armed man, with a third eye in between his eyebrows. You gulp.

This isn’t good.

“Yo, who are you and why are you hiding?” says the purple guy aggressively.

He locks eyes with you as he approaches. You instinctively scoot back. As you watch him scrupulously, something in his demeanor and appearance tells you that this guy is Shiva. And if it you weren’t so unnerved and being backed into a corner by him, you’d say he was actually quite hot. Too bad he was probably going to snap you like a twig.

“I’ll ask you one more time before I force the answer out of you,” he asserts, cracking his knuckles to emphasize his point.

You feel your body slump in defeat. There was no way out of if it. You were out of options and better to maybe try and explain yourself instead of foolishly staying silent. You take a deep breath through your nose before standing up fully. It was the first time you felt truly blessed for being vertically challenged as the water was about chest deep on you, covering your goods.

Everyone looks at you with some degree of surprise and shock as they realize that you’re a human woman. Shiva specifically gazes at you hard. Something about you seemed familiar, although he knew he’d never seen your face before. He would never forget a human who looked as exceptionally stunning as you. But then it clicked. The broken arm, the (y/c) eyes — you were one of the Einherjar. He had witnessed your fight earlier, but your all black shinobi outfit revealed nothing but your eyes, thoroughly concealing your appearance. You had been introduced with only the first initial of your given name revealed which further added to the obscurity. He, the other gods, the humans, and the legends passed down about you, all speculated you were a man, but clearly history was very wrong. Regardless, he was too enamored in the battle itself to have paid any attention to the individuals fighting in it. But now that you were in front him, fully exposed and vulnerable, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. He also couldn’t help but observe the way beads of water sensually glided down your body and into the valley of your breasts, disappearing into unseeable territory — territory he wanted to explore and conquer. And the way you shyly looked up at him through your lashes only made him curious to know what that pretty face would look like when he did it.

Shiva smirks. ”A human huh? You were that one fighting earlier weren’t you? (first initial f/n) (l/n) right?”

You couldn’t help but feel incredibly flustered from being basically naked in front of bunch of a men whose eyes were all on you. Especially Shiva’s. You could feel him unabashedly scrutinizing every inch of you, his eyes darkening with desire. Your face burns red, and you look away.

Damn, he has me so hot and bothered. Why is he so good looking?

“Yeah, that’s me…you can call me (f/n). Uhm, look I don’t want to cause any trouble so if you could just let me pass, I’d really appreciate it…” you manage to utter.

“Go right on ahead,” Shiva says, still smirking. He steps aside making way for you to pass. The other men follow suit.

Why does this seem too easy?

“Thank you…also, could you guys turn around?”

The other gods glance at each other and shrug and start moving at your request. All except Shiva of course.

“I prefer to watch,” he says impishly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

Your eyes widen, and you snap your head towards him. “But!” you start to object.

“You can walk out yourself or I can do it for you. Which one will it be, Miss (y/n)?” His smirk only grows wider. The other gods only shake their heads at his antics.

A shiver runs down your spine. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know what the latter meant (or maybe you did), but you had set your mind on getting out of there. Taking another deep breath, you start making your way out of the water. You put your good arm across your breasts as the water level curtails the closer you get to the edge of the spring. Shiva’s eyes remains fixated on you, not daring to miss a single moment.

Here goes.

Taking the final step out the water, the cold air swathes your naked body and you break out in goosebumps. You briskly rush to your towel in a desperate but futile attempt to cover your ass from Shiva who’s enjoying every second of it. You try to ignore his scorching stare on your backside as you finally grab your towel and wrap it around you, gripping it tightly with your good hand. You sigh heavily.

So much for not letting the gods see me naked. But at least I’m not dead and naked.

You’re about to head towards the exit when a hand grips your towel, jolting you forward into them. Your startled eyes come face to face with Shiva’s devilish ones. You somehow maintain the grasp on your towel, although it becomes dangerously close to being pulled off you. Your eyes unintentionally trail down, half relieved to see a towel around him, yet half disappointed. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Shiva who could only revel in the reactions he elicited from you.

What is wrong with me?

Normally, you’d never let someone toy with you like this, never mind this overwhelming sexual desire you had for this man. But the carnal look in Shiva’s eyes, his sexy smirk, his muscular physique, his tantalizing, brazen demeanor — it was enough to make you putty. You couldn’t imagine how you’d act if he touched you.

“(y/n), you know what? I decided I don’t want you to go. Why not stay with me from a while?” His grip tightens on your towel, his knuckles grazing your skin.

You shudder at the slight brush of his skin on yours. It feels like an electric shock has run through you and into your very core. As you consider the tempting offer, a little voice in the back of your head starts to emerge from the depths of your lust smitten brain.

No matter how hot he was, he was still a god. Someone who wanted the destruction of humanity and who undoubtedly would be participating in Ragnarok on the side of the gods. The answer is obvious. I should say no… plus I mean, like, a god and a human? Is that even allowed? There’s just no way. I can’t just do naughty things with him…right?

“I should really go..” you say half heartedly, clearly conflicted.

“It wasn’t a request (y/n),” he says, his eyes darkening as he pulls you against him.

Before you’re able to respond, someone clears his throat behind you. You both look to see the other four armed god, a pair of arms resting on his clothed hips and the other pair of arms crossed loosely at his waist. “Shiva, you should let her go. Don’t force her.”

You almost object to his usage of the word force but decided it would be best to keep your mouth shut.

“Ahh, Rudra. You’re always so serious. I was just having some fun,” Shiva responds light heartedly, loosening his grip on your towel. “But, I guess you’re right! You know best!”

Before you had a chance to protest, Shiva had already let you go and was headed back towards the water, a pair of arms nonchalantly behind his head. You stood there, stunned at the abrupt loss of his closeness and touch. Feeling disappointed would be an understatement. You turn and manage to mutter a thank you to Rudra who nods his head in acknowledgment before also heading back to the water where the other gods had silently been watching everything unfold.

You watch Shiva as he descends further into the spring, his back facing you. You sigh dejectedly. Steam begins to fill the air again, but before Shiva is completely engulfed, he looks back at you, smirk plastered on his face as he winks at you. Your face flushes, and you could feel heat rushing to your core. Something told you that this wouldn’t be the last time you would see him.

extra scene

You hastily leave the hot spring and into the locker room. As you start to change, you replay the events of what happened in your head. The more you think about it, the more increasingly irritated you become. You were unsure if it stemmed from pent up sexual frustration or from being cornered in a potentially perilous, but completely avoidable, situation. Whatever it was, you were peeved and wanted to take it out on someone, and you knew exactly who. Once you’re fully dressed, you storm to the reception area of the hot springs and furiously approach the front desk. The same teen who checked you in was still there, face still buried in the same magazine as when you had first arrived. If he had taken his eyes off his magazine for two seconds instead of just waving you over to the male side, you wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Excuse me!” you say sharply, slamming the key card down on the counter. This spooks the teen boy into dropping his magazine, face twisted in bewilderment and fear.

“Y-Y-yes ma’am? How can I be of service to you?” the young kid stutters, scared shitless by the cross look on your face and the intense aura you exuded.

“You waved me into the male side of the hot spring! Do you know the kind of mess you got me into?! Do I look like a man to you?!”

His eyes widen, mortified. He had only hoped nothing bad happened to you. He couldn’t afford to lose this job. His mom would kill him.

“I am so sorry ma’am! No, of course I don’t think you look like a man. I must’ve made a mistake when I scanned your key card!”

He was sure that all the key cards he had scanned today belonged to all males, but even he couldn’t deny that he never really paid attention to the actual person coming in and could’ve easily made a mistake. He takes the key card and scans it, scouring the information on the computer. He looks at the screen then looks at you then back at the screen. Well no wonder he waved her over to the male side. She raises an eyebrows questioningly.

“Is something wrong?”

“Uh, your name is (f/n) (l/n) right?”

“Yes, and?”

He turns the computer screen to you. A picture of you in your fighting attire served as your ID picture and in bold letters under “sex” read male. It suddenly all made sense. You can only snort at the revelation.

“I’m sorry ma’am! I believe there was a mistake when creating your key card! I can get that fixed up. We just need to take a new picture and change you over to female-“ but before he could finish, you snatch the key card from him.

“Nope, that’s okay! That’ll be all! Thanks!” you exclaim hurriedly, setting a generous amount of bribe money down on the counter before scurrying away.

Maybe I can “accidentally” run into Shiva again.

You smile giddily to yourself as you fantasize about your next encounter with the devilishly handsome god.

The teen watches you run away, dumbfounded. “I need another job,” he complains to himself. He gathers the money and slowly grins to himself as he counts the stack of bills you left. “Or maybe not,” he says to himself, tucking the money into his pocket. He had a feeling he would probably be “accidentally” waving you over to the male side again.

shoutout to those who caught the mean girls reference! sorry if you read this nonsense lol i kept editing and rewriting for days and eventually got fed up and decided to just post it. hopefully, i’ll get better at writing!

[thekingofthenameless]

Happy Pride Month!!!! OC that was previously cis is now transmasc!

That was the concept I was yelling about! Everyone I’ve told has loved it, and Tumblr’s getting it too.

Anyways TRANSMASC MERLIN MY BELOVED

I can say with the upmost confidence that he’s definitely never been transgender in any Arthurian adaptation before except fanfiction.

There isn’t really much of a story for why I decided to do this, though. He’s been cisgender for a little over three years, give or take, and I hadn’t had any intentions of changing it.

But I had literally just started work yesterday morning, and out of nowhere my brain was like: “Trans Merlin.”

And then I got consumed by it.

There isn’t much content about him being transgender; only ten posts tagged posts for it on Tumblr, 82 fics of it on Ao3. (Yes, I checked.) And it’s all for one adaptation only: BBC Merlin.

I’m going to be the change I want to see though >:)

So without further ado, here’s a few new facts about him!

Merlin was his name at birth, and he kept it after transitioning.

(In my opinion, it’s an ode to trans people who don’t change their name before or after transitioning, and it’s also a reference/mythology gag to female portrayals of Merlin, such as The Seven Deadly Sins!)

(Honestly thinking about it, I can’t believe in all these adaptations of Arthurian Legend Merlin isn’t trans in at least one?? Or queer in some way? This is so rude.)

In TKN, cambions can shapeshift easily, and there’s also a spell they can cast that makes the form they change into their base/true form, which is what Merlin did. (He cried when he finally saw who he wanted to be in a mirror.)

When he was deciding on how he wanted to ideally look before the spell, he decided he didn’t want to let his ear piercings close, and he also chose to keep his hair long and keep wearing jewelry.

(Older queers my beloved.)

He still got periods until he went into menopause because magic unfortunately, as he and I both agree can’t get rid of periods, and he actually didn’t want to change his genitalia! He still has every reproductive organ he was born with. His chest, however, gave him gender dysphoria, so he bound it during/after puberty before using the spell.

(I love how Merlin has gone from cis white to cis ambiguously brown skinned [glad I changed that lol] to cis black to transmac black. Just. Merlin my beloved.)

Charlie is one of the few characters who knows that Merlin is transgender: people already think Merlin’s crazy for his schizophrenia and psychosis, and/or an asshole for his misophonia, so he doesn’t want to risk another thing they’d use against him. Charlie is the best familiar and was fully supportive throughout his transition, and he loves him and is fully willing to accommodate his disabilities when no one will.

(Trans Merlin has been giving me so much euphoria all day oh my gosh. I love him so much.)

He still has a sister! Her name is Ganieda, and in some of the Legends she’s two years younger than him. Here, though, they’re identical twins!

(No offense to the og Legends, but for one reason, it’s because of Adhan having a second child only two years after being assaulted and getting pregnant from it. She would’ve gotten pregnant again at a year and three months after? It’s kind of strange, in my opinion.)

Also identical twins, and one of them being trans!

(I just. TRANS MERLIN)

As a given, he knows what periods and feminine rage and experiencing misogyny are like! But in a world that doesn’t for the most part, he comes off as well versed in it to everyone else.

(This is just an idea for now, but I was thinking that maybe later in TKN, Morgana gets her period at Camelot, and after Merlin gets her taken care of/gently educates her about it, he astral projects to Igraine and Gorlois and is like: “Hey Morgana got her period, but I got her taken care of dw 👍” and their response is: “Wow, you’re really knowledgeable about periods!”

Merlin: Trans panic

He’s experienced both womanhood and manhood, and both of them are extremely important to him. He was raised as a daughter. He experienced being a sister. He went through puberty in a girl’s body. He has the right to tell her story, and his.

Anyways. Transmasc Merlin because I’m not going to stop screaming about it

Also I made this :D

[gamebunny-advance]

1010 Malt Shop - Green Plushie

It's done. It's finally done. 1 week of blood, sweat, and tears (mostly blood), and he's done.

But I don't have a good enough camera nor photography skills to really capture his true charm ;w;

(Boring self reflection + more pics under the cut)

Anyway, this is the project I've been working on lately. No particular thing really prompted this. Like most things I do, it was started on a whim and finished with will power. I don't really have much experience with plush making or sewing, so despite his obvious faults, I still think he turned out pretty nicely for an amateur.

As per usual, I didn't have enough foresight to document the process, but I can nonetheless talk about the experience and point out some details of it.

Firstly, he's a pretty large lad. Here he is compared to the official DJSS plush and one of the test prints I did of "Melon Float."

Counting his straw, he's about 16 inches tall. I wasn't counting on him being so big, so I don't really know what I'm gonna do with him now...

I say this took a week, but I probably could have quartered that time if I had a working sewing machine, but since I didn't, the majority of the time was spent just sewing the thing together. (Btw, pattern over here.) The only fabric details that weren't hand-sewn are the circle/stripe details on his pants and shoes, and the bow/buttons on his shirt, which were all glued on.

The base pattern didn't come with any clothes, so I just adapted the body patterns into clothes. Structurally, he's basically wearing a second skin~ I did think about making the gloves for the sake of accuracy, but at that point, the only skin he'd be showing is his face, and I wanted to keep some soft parts out since his clothes are so stiff. They're so stiff, they can stand on their own and be stacked on top of each other without falling over.

(The plush has a harder time standing than his clothes do...)

Speaking of the clothes, let me say right now that it bothers me more than anyone else that the paint details don't color-match his pants. I was so high on the euphoria of starting this project that when I was out getting supplies, I saw some glow-in-the-dark paint and thought it'd be a great idea since he's a robot and all. The color on the bottle looked close enough at the time, and the original plan was that only the face would be painted with the other details being felt, but on top of me forgetting that effects paint takes a long time to build up layers, the green also dried differently than I thought it would, so it threw everything off, but I didn't have the patience to suck it up and repaint everything with a better color match. I did try to add a light gradient with my pastels like in the original art work, but it turned out so light that it's barely perceivable and totally not worth the clamminess I get when I touch chalk.

I think the most time-consuming part was his hair. While sewing the body together took 2 days, the clothes 2 days, and painting 1 day, the hair took about 3 as I had to figure out essentially how to do it myself on the fly. The first day was mostly trial and error. I did find a couple of online tutorials about how to get this loopy yarn hair, but the ones that I found both required tools that I didn't have. Eventually, I figured out a way to make it work, but I feel like it was less than efficient:

Basically, his hair is made with chunks of yarn that are tied together, and each chunk is individually sewn into place. I didn't count, but I think there are 13-14 hair chunks total to give him a full head. I do like how I made his bangs uneven to mimick how I draw his hair, but I couldn't quite pull off having his distinct hair-part and I couldn't figure out how to give the illusion of half his hair being straight without it looking weird. (I did try cutting the loops to let the strands be straight, but I didn't like the look of it, so I kept them all loopy).

This is a weird thing to say out of context, but I'm especially proud of the back of his head. Originally I was just going to paint on his undercut (which I'm glad I didn't because this paint REALLY hardens the cotton), so I got the bright idea to sew on individual strands of yarn for it. I think the effect is great, but I would not wish it upon my worst enemy, because to get the effect, I had to sew on each. strand. individually. The day I made the face poll, and said that was going to be a break day? I wound up doing this instead, and it took just as long to sew in those 20+ strands of yarn as it did the rest of his hair.

To segway into that poll, as you can see, I went with option 2 with some slight edits. Just the white/green eyes looked a little plain to me, so I added my usual dark pupil and added a green-star glitter to the center. I'm the one that has to live with this thing for the foreseeable future, so I made some executive decisions. Unfortunately, there were a few errors while painting, which you can clearly see in the above pictures OTL. I did try to seal off my painting areas with tape, but it still bled and stained in a few places. I don't really know if it's possible to clean the stains without ruing the rest of the face, but if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

There are a few extra details that I guess are worth pointing out: he's actually wired. I put in some armature wire so he'd be able to move his limbs despite the stiff felt but... I didn't secure them that well, and the wire for his arms got displaced, so I currently can't bend them ;3;. I'd have to open him up again to replace it, and I REALLY don't want to undress him again to get to his back. The worst thing about this plush is that his clothes are so stiff that he's actually very hard to dress.

The wire in his legs is mostly still in place, so he can at least (kinda) sit.

I think the last thing worth talking about is the ice cream accessory. It was really simple to make (it's just air dry clay over foil + extra pieces), but it's cute, so I wanted to point it out~

It's a hair clip, so it can be taken on and off. Theoretically, it could be worn by a person, but it's a little heavy to be wearing it all day~ The camera/lighting really blew out the colors, but I think it turned out to be a nice creamy french vanilla color like I really wanted~

Other details like the glitter on his eyes/cheeks can't really be captured on my shitty ipod camera, but rest assured that he is pleasantly sparkling~

I think my biggest takeaway from this project has been materials: I thought that using felt would be a great alternative to having to buy an entire yard of fabric for a one time project, but besides the paint, it was the hardest material to work with. If I have to pick and choose, next time I think the body will be felt, and the clothes will be cotton, or maybe I'll actually invest in some fleece, so it can be soft all the way~ Since the clothes are removable, I could theoretically make him his default sailor suit and just replace the straw with his proper hair loop to convert this into a "canon" design plush, but we'll see what the future holds. I did get the felt colors to make my *other* babygirl, but given this experience, I may hold off on making him until a much later date.

[jalicefanficblog]

can you write a Kim possible oneshot where Kim and Ron have to disguise themselves as circus clowns during a mission

Ladies and Gentelmen, let´s give our Guest Clowns a cheerful Welcome Greeting and we hope you enjoy our Circus Show!

Just like a Circus

“Why do we have to dress up as circus clowns again, Wade?”

Ron was sitting in his seat in the small private helicopter that was taking him and his best friend Kim Possible on another mission.

The teen heroine had called in a favor for this and Ron was tasked with carrying the heavy, cumbersome backpack that contained the undercover costumes for today's mission.

And of course Ron had already looked inside and given in to his curiosity. The contents of the backpack had neither caused him joy nor euphoria.

“It's for your cover, Ron. And you'll fit in perfectly at the destination,” Wade said from the small communication device that Kim was holding in her hand.

“You've always wanted to be in the spotlight, haven't you?” - joked Kim, who was trying to tidy up her red mane with a small comb and a few hairpins during the turbulence and prepare it, for what was to come.

The camouflage…not the turbulence that the pilot of the small helicopter has to contend with.

"Haha…if it weren't for the costumes…so embarrassing" - complained Ron.

"Embarrassing? The red nose definitely suits you", joked Wade.

"It's easy for you to say Wade, you sit in front of your screen and can watch us being made a laughing stock as circus clowns", - groaned Ron, and he didn't seem to be able to get used to the idea at all.

"I also made popcorn and my mum brought a six-pack of lemonade from the shop…I'm ready to enjoy the show" - replied Wade sarcastically.

"Cheer up, Ron, Rufus is absolutely thrilled with the idea!" - laughed Kim now and Ron looked confusedly down at the pocket of his still normal pants, in which Naked Mole Rat usually slept or helped Ron on missions.

Rufus had already put on a mini clone nose and wig and was all fired up for the mission. He expressed this with euphoric noises.

“You're totally stabbing me in the back right now, buddy!” - said Ron, but his voice became a little softer and his aversion to this disguise had diminished somewhat.

He couldn't and didn't want to stay mad at his animal best friend for long, and he could hardly say no to his best friend KP either.

“Besides, it's for our disguise. Dr. Drakken certainly won't recognize us as circus clowns and it will definitely be fun”, said Kim as she pulled a wig cap out of her bag.

“Why does Dr. Drakken actually want to take control of a circus?” - Ron wondered as he felt Rufus, who had meanwhile run to the backpack with the props and the two clown costumes, give him a red nose.

“Do you remember when Dr. Drakken wanted to bring his mind control shampoo onto the market? Now he's trying to sponsor the circus that's based in Boston, Massachusetts… allegedly through the circus animals' feed and wants to get them under his control… my sources have indicated , that a considerable amount of toxic substances that were found in the shampoo were found in a load of feed for the horses and donkeys… if the animals ate it, your clown disguise is perfect for investigating… I also hacked Drakken's social media account and he got tickets for the evening performance… it seems likely that he wants to use the animals as his henchmen with mind control", - Wade summarized.

"Is it possible that Drakken's ideas are getting crazier and crazier?" - Kim wondered, having pulled the wig cap over her tied-up red hair.

"Looks a bit like a swimming cap? What is that for?” wondered Ron, who also got one of the skin-colored caps drawn by Rufus and pulled it over his head.

“The wig cap ensures that the wig doesn’t slip off the head during the show”, - explained Wade and then gave the duo the details and how they could best blend in with the artists and showmen of the circus when they arrived in Boston.

Then he wished them much success and looked forward to the show.

“Why are you getting the costume with the stripes and I’m getting the one with the dots? That makes my butt so big?”, - Ron repeatedly tugged at the legs of the outfit he was wearing. Because unlike Kim, the blond was wearing a clown costume with big red dots stretched over the yellow fabric.

The green clown wig he was wearing was the color contrast to the bright colors of the clothes and the bright red shoes were probably intentionally a bit too big.

Ron imagined himself stumbling in the ring several times.

“Stripes suit me , more than you Ron. Now close your eyes, I have to put on the make-up and the white makeup”, said Kim and concentrated on applying the makeup while Ron started to laugh because the brush tickled so much.

“Haha…that tickles KP! Don’t tell me you girls put yourselves through such torture every day”, giggled Ron and Kim had to stop what she was doing , because otherwise it would have smeared or Ron’s clown mouth would have become a weird crooked line.

“Well, with some girls at our school, you can really believe they are wearing clown makeup…..Bonnie, for example, just because she wanted to impress one of the football players, she put on this mega expensive eye shadow in midnight blue! It doesn't really match her eyes, but she was really boasting about it", Kim said annoyed and demonstrated her work after Ron had recovered from his fit of laughter and finished the relatively good-looking makeup mask for Ronald the Clown.

"Shall I paint your mask now?", asked Ron and Kim shook her head, laughing.

"Painting and applying a mask are fundamentally different things…but thanks Ron", said Kim, opened her small makeup mirror and set about making her well-cared-for skin disappear , under a layer of white clown makeup. It was a sight that the teen heroine had to get used to.

But Wade was right…for the success of the mission it would be crucial to go into the ring as circus clowns. On the one hand to make it seem believable and on the other to stop Dr. Drakken from carrying out his diablo-like plan.

So let's go. Close your eyes and go through the middle!

“I think my right shin is itching and I can't breathe through my nose, KP!”, - Ron made an unhappy expression and wanted to put his right hand to his nose to scratch it, but Kim stopped him by grabbing his hand and looking threateningly into his eyes.

“Not now, Ron, follow the clowns into the arena and then from there we'll try to get to the animal enclosures somehow , to check the food… maybe Drakken is there?”, - said Kim and gave Ron a gentle nudge in the right direction and soon the hero duo followed a small group of other clowns.

It didn't seem to really register that the two students weren't actually part of the circus and part of the upcoming show.

And so a few minutes later, Kim and Ron found themselves in the middle of the illuminated circus tent, joining the line of clowns and simply cooperating with their behavior. They joked around, teased each other and performed a dance that ended with some clowns deliberately tripping over their own feet.

It was a little chaotic and Ron seemed to be having fun despite his initial reservations and fit in wonderfully with the clown group. Kim grinned under her white makeup. Somehow Ron had often been the typical class clown and so, as the center of the crowd, they could keep an eye on everything.

When two clowns first threw a ball to each other and then it passed to Kim, the Possible spotted Shego's bright green headed towards the exit of the tent.

"Ron! There's a snake in the circus! You hold your position and I'll follow it!"

"Yuck, a snake? It's even worse than monkeys!"

"Ron, thats… Shego"

"Ah, about the green, clever KP! All right, throw me the ball”

Kim threw the ball to Ron and tried to disappear inconspicuously towards the exit, but then Shego seemed to notice her and fired a few plasma beams at her… and Kim, in her clown outfit, did a few backflips and used one of the props as a springboard to extend her grappling hook and chase Shego.

Ron clapped once, creating the illusion that it was all part of the show… which was met with applause from the audience.

The clowns continued their act and were soon replaced by the artists. Ron went with the group to the back of the ring and was even given a donut as a thank you for this performance and was asked which circus he came from.

To bridge this question, Rufus came to the rescue and performed a few tricks on a small ball that was intended for the circus dog to balance on and received applause from the clowns.

The little naked mole rat seemed to enjoy being in the spotlight just as much as Ron.

“Have you switched to clown school, Kimmy?” - Shego laughed maliciously and teasingly as she tampered with one of the food buckets and passed on information to Drakken through a walkie-talkie.

“How did you recognize me? My makeup is perfect and maybe I’ll join the circus? What brings you here? A poisonous green snake doesn’t fit in a circus, Shego", - Kim countered, using one of her gadgets to take the bucket before Shego could tamper with it.

“”Carry out a plan by Drakken…:”

“Shego! I am the leader and reveal my diabolical plan to Kim Possible!” - Dr Drakken came into the small area of ​​the animal feed supplies with a remote control in his hand and sulked when Shego wanted to reveal his ingenious plan.

“You want to control the animals with the thought of shampoo residue that you transferred via the feed into the supplies of the circus animals?” , Kim stated dryly and Drakken sulked a little more, stamped his foot defiantly and glared angrily at Kim.

“You look ridiculous in the clown costume Possible and my plan will work!” - Drakken snorted and pressed the remote control…..but his plan had a catch…because the batteries of the device were empty and nothing happened.

“Damn! SHEGO new batteries?!”

“Seriously Drakken, you don’t have any…”

“Don’t argue with the clown-possible in front of me!”

Kim used one of her attack techniques to first take the remote control from Drakken and then she whistled loudly, the signal for Ron to rush to her aid.

And Ron stumbled forward very elegantly with the big clown shoes, knocking over one of the big empty barrels with non-existent dry food for the ponies and this barrel landed on Drakken and Shego, locking the two villains in and Kim dialed the police number.

“Good job Ron! These snakes aren’t causing any more damage! We’d best tell the director about the food and that they should order more, we don’t want to take the risk that any of the shampoo will still be found,” said Kim and gave Ron a high five.

The police arrived at the right time and Shego and Drakken were taken to the nearest prison…with the barrel still over their heads and the director was informed of the incident and the animals that had already eaten the food with the shampoo were temporarily suspended from the shows…in return, the audience wanted an encore from the guest clowns.

"Maybe my future really does lead to the circus, huh?" - asked Ron as he bowed and his wig slipped off his head.

"We have a math test tomorrow and I don't think you'll be able to convince your parents of your plans to be a professional clown so quickly," - replied Kim, who also bowed and received a rose from the clown group - made from those colorful moldable balloons, of course.

"A thank you for your help," - said the circus director with a broad grin and Kim thanked him with a smile.

“Thank you… but I think I will remember this circus adventure for a long time,” grinned Possible, and when the last act of the evening was about to begin, it was time for Kim and Ron to catch their ride home.

They left the circus tent and would certainly not forget this undercover mission so quickly.

Not even because Kim and Ron would find out at home , how damn difficult and stubborn it was to wash off clown makeup.

Not to mention the headaches from the wig cap, which they had to wear for hours together with the colorful wigs.

And these would also be part of the memories.

Along with the balloon rose.

THE END

[catsharky]

I totally agree that Wheatley wasn't himself after he got plugged in! I think is reinforced by how GLaDOS was nicer when she was unplugged even before the Caroline revelations. Part of that might be that being a potato battery is pretty humbling but I like to think it's the facility messing with her and Wheatley!

Yeah! I think it's pretty much canon that being plugged into the facility does have at least some kind of mind-altering effects as a result of the scientists trying to control GLaDOS (I can't say that's a fact only because I haven't played it through in full recently enough to state it as fact)

I go into my thoughts on the whole thing a bit more under a read-more because it got kind of long:

With GLaDOS not being true AI but a digitized human mind, controlling her would have been more than just a coding problem. It was a question of how they could force control onto a person who was intended to hold power over you. Fortunately (or rather unfortunately) for Aperture scientists, morality wasn't an issue. They would have been free to use whatever methods were necessary until they found a combination that finally broke Caroline, stripped the person she had once been out, and turned her into what we see in the games.

Whatever 'conditioning' they used, it would have had to be extremely complex to keep GLaDOS from circumventing it, and in the time period the story takes place in (and even by today's standards, honestly) that would have been extremely resource intensive. Think rooms full of servers. Additionally, based on how the core transfer works in Portal 2, the part that makes up GLaDOS herself seems to be entirely contained within her 'head'. So you have miles of circuitry and computing power that's not actually needed to run the 'AI', while also needing a lot of resources to actually keep the AI in check, and it needs to be in a way that she can't sabotage to take full control. How do you do that? You hard code it into the system itself so it can't just be ripped out at the root... and then add a little Skinner box conditioning for good measure.

To further support the idea, GLaDOS shows that she's fully aware of at least some of the controls that were placed on her. Things like the testing euphoria and electric shock that's dispensed to keep her from sabotaging the tests. I find it very hard to believe that GLaDOS would be aware of those things and not be able to find a way to circumvent or disable them if she could, which implies that she flat out can't. Now look me in the eyes and tell me something could have full access to manipulate GLaDOS without her being able to reverse engineer and destroy it in the amount of time she's had to devote to it. Exactly, you can't, which means there's a different reason why she can't shut those things off, potentially because they're linked to necessary functions.

Would it not make sense if the thing keeping her from say, releasing all the test subjects were fundamentally tied to her control over the areas the test subjects are kept in? Then, if she were to break past those safeguards and gain the freedom to set them free, it would come at the expense of actually being able to do so.

So with all that in mind, Wheatley's sudden change of heart makes total sense. Experiencing awe and wonder isn't a problem because it doesn't prevent or go against what the scientists wanted. But like I said, allowing a test subject to leave? That absolutely would have been something the scientists would have had to stop a caring human mind (Caroline) from trying to do. The minute that became the topic at hand, the system pounced, the controls kicked in and 'I Am Not a Moron' became my favourite song on the soundtrack.

-

(On a related note, I also do believe that Wheatley is likely another human mind- which is pretty widely accepted by the fandom, so I'm not breaking any new ground here- but I specifically think he's not a whole human mind. It would make sense to me if he was a follow up to GLaDOS- the scientists looking into whether only using part of a mind would give them an 'AI' that would serve their purpose and not ask questions, only to find that the end result wasn't viable. After that failure they tried repurposing him as the intelligence dampening sphere like GLaDOS mentions, before shuffling him off to a job in title only. The Extended Relaxation Center is shown to be fully automated, and wouldn't have required any actual outside oversight, so Wheatley was almost definitely just running around doing busy work for a few decades until the events of Portal 2.)

[sundaysstrawberrykombucha]

Beep Beep, trying a new sona out...

So... It's weird. I LOVE skunks. They are cute, dapper, curious little critters that have a reputation. I love they're little faces, I love the patterning of their fur, and I love just literally everything about them... Hell, Belle is a skunk for all of these reasons!

So... It made sense that maybe my fursona should be a skunk, right? I've done a whole comic about turning into one, and I absolutely adore them.

But... It just doesn't feel right. Belle served as my sona for a LONG time now, but since I've kind of come out as plural, and we've decided that she's her own person... It kinda took my sona away. So I thought "That's alright, I'll just make another skunk sona that's me!" But... it really wasn't. There's something off, or missing from it.

So the other day, as I was thinking about it, and trying to figure out where I was going with my Skunk HRT comic, I was thinking about WHAT I wanted to do... I've had some ideas, but none stuck out to me, except this idea. This is what I wanted to sketch yesterday (but had no time to do so, actually)

So the top is just a Mewtwo off of reference. I wanted to get the reference out because I wanted to be sure I could figure out how to draw a believable Mewtwo that I could then modify and push to fit what I was hoping to get. The bottom is modified with a small vision I have of... Maybe myself? I'm not sure, but I wanted to keep the skunk patterning, but get more of the form of Mewtwo in there. There are still some things that I think I'll tool around with, like maybe hair. Also adding clothing and the like.

But... Why Mewtwo? Well... It's my favorite legendary. It may be a basic "gen one-er" fave, but it's true. I've always had more of an affinity for the psychic type pokemon in general, my favorite gym leader is Sabrina (Flannery a close second, but just because she's hot), Abra was a small obsession of mine, and Mewtwo is just kinda rad.

Plus, with how powerful Mewtwo is? That gives me the freedom to really live out a few other fantasies that being a skunk wouldn't allow. Like, flying, and breathing underwater/in space. Even Transform into different things! (Since Mewtwo is based off the DNA of Mew, and Mew can transform, I don't see why not) These are things that I could feasibly see Mewtwo doing, and things that I wish I could do.

Plus, immense psychic power to help defend people? The ability to be places instantly? Be... Kind of a Superman-like character. That sounds nice too.

Anyway. A little more about the sketch. I LOVE how the angle of the head turned out. It's not perfect, but getting the underside of a head, and figuring out how necks connect and stuff is something I tend to have difficulty with, so I'm glad that it actually looks like it turned out better. Also, trying to find a way to feminize the form while not turning it NSFW is a small challenge. Not the hardest, but there is a bit of "how much can I push it before it becomes too much?" And while I know it's rather unnecessary, there's still a euphoria I get myself seeing me depicted a lot more feminine physically, and I do want to depict that. As I said, I may try adding hair, which is a major deviation from Mewtwo, but it's another euphoric thing about myself that I want to depict, but I'm not sure how it'll look, so it's possible it won't make the cut.

But yea, if you read all that. Thanks! It's weird not having a fursona, honestly. Belle has been that for so long, but now it feels weird to say that about her. So it'll be interesting to actually continue figuring stuff like this out about myself, seeing where I want to go. I have some other ideas that I might sketch out, just to see how they feel as well, but as I said, this was the most prominent one.

[callmelittlesunshinefics]

[Someone to Try New Things With] - Part 1

Adrian Chase/Reader

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Cursing, drug use, universe-similar language/subject matter, will add as needed as things might get smutty.

AN: This has been sitting in my drafts for days now with me putting off posting. No Y/N, but the reader is loosely based off of the same as my AO3 fic. This is still a baby of an idea and more of a drabble to length is tbd :)

Covered in blood and speeding down the highway, everyone was having a much better time than they probably should. You chalked it up to the adrenaline, the euphoria at somehow still being alive despite a literal gorilla swinging you around like its toy doll. Everyone was celebrating the win, exposing and wounding a deep rooted butterfly operation right under their noses, and yet, you couldn’t help but find yourself dwelling on the opposite. The obvious fact that this plant supplied so much of the alien food source that it could only mean an invasion on the scale of which you hadn’t fully even grasped yet. 

But hey, nothing getting a little less than sober couldn’t fix. 

Harcourt nudged your shoulder, pulling you out of your own head, “If even I’m sporting a hint of a smile, how is it you’re not?” She eyed you suspiciously. 

Emilia had known you the longest of the team, and had actually been the person who made the call to recruit you. You were…an exception to the government to say the absolute least. To put it simply, this universe wasn’t your first home, but you did find yourself here and even found family, and abilities you never knew you had in your other life. 

Amanda Waller was aware of your arrival immediately, though once she saw who had found you first, even she knew she couldn’t intervene with her usual force. The best she could do was invite you and your…’uncle’, Lucifer Morningstar, to brunch while she was ‘conveniently passing through’ L.A. Explain who she was, what she did, and ask if she could ever call on them for help. 

She did, and once or twice you agreed. It soon became obvious that you were more likely to agree if Emilia were on the case as well, and the two of you became friends with a quickness that surprised you both. She knew your entire past, in both worlds, and in return you were one of the only people who knew hers. Probably as close as you would come to having a sister. 

“Just trying to wrap my head around the day I guess. Or,” you coughed, making a show of raising your voice even above the music, “OR trying to figure out if anyone wants to partake in some legal drugs and alcohol this evening because what the fuck just happened??”

The group collectively cheered and you smirked at Emilia, as if to prove everything were fine. She rolled her eyes at your blatant attempt to throw her off. 

Leota slid over, joining the huddle as soon as she saw the dreaded Harcourt eye roll. 

“Is it the dancing? Are you totally questioning your sexual taste over that dancing?” 

“OH MY GOD” you whisper yelled, channeling David a-la Schitt’s Creek. 

Adebayo laughed, “What? You’re the only one sitting here looking miserable after getting out of there in one piece, and since she couldn’t get you to crack I figured you were regretting your crush on-“ 

“I know what you’re-“ you cut her and yourself off, closing your eyes and stopping. 

Emilia doesn’t know where to start with her prying, and Leota had to go to straight to the one thing she didn’t want to talk about in such a close knit space. She wanted to talk about your hopelessly ridiculous crush on Adrian Chase. 

You fell pretty hard and pretty fast for someone who made absolutely no fucking sense. Emilia couldn’t make heads or tails of it. She was mortified. Not quite disgusted, she wasn’t blind, but she never believed in the ‘love at first sight’ thing. And neither did you, which only made how you felt, and how deeply you felt it, all the more confusing. 

You decided to fess up to your actual feelings before they could make any more guesses, “Honestly the scale of this thing is just weighing on me. Didn’t hit me until we saw the size of this operation, ya know?” 

They both looked momentarily deflated, but quickly bounced back shrugging, with Emilia shaking her head at you. 

“Okay see, you have to enjoy the moment.” Leota forced your shoulders down urging you to relax and speaking louder now, “I think we’re gonna do exactly what you said.”  

Economos snorted from the driver’s seat, “Drugs and alcohol?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m in.” From Chris, obviously. 

You hadn’t even realized the guys had tuned into the conversation once Leota spoke up. Economos shrugged like he was in but didn’t care, though you could tell he was excited. The only one still thinking was Adrian, and you looked at him waiting for an answer. Chris spoke up instead. 

“Dude, stop being weird about weed and just come, it’s legal, you gotta let it go and probably try it so you don’t keep being so fucking-“ 

“Alright, alright!” Adrian interrupted before Chris could keep going, he didn’t want to hear the rest of it. He looked at you.

“I’m coming but we need snacks. Come to 7-11 with me when we get back?” 

You smirked, “Adrian, I would love to.” 

He glared at you, “Are you being sarcastic?” 

“She’s not,” Harcourt said, “You two head out when we get back and I’ll text you a list.” 

The rest of the ride was spent with everyone shouting out snacks and drinks they like, don’t like, don’t like but might like while stoned, and it went on and on until John and Chris were fighting about Combos and there wasn’t anything resembling a list. You leaned into Adrian’s side, watching everything unfold.

“I think we have to make a run for it and just buy everything in 7-11.” She stage whispered near him and he smirked. 

“Yeah, there’s no way we can afford everything in 7-11.” 

You laughed in response and held up a wallet that was clearly not your own. You let it fall open for Adrian to see that you had picked Emilia’s pocket while she was trying to end the Great Combo Debate.

“You know that’s a crime.” He raised his eyebrows at you, you knew Adrian well enough to know that while he sounded like he was joking, he completely wasn’t.

“Actually it’s not,” you pulled out a generic looking credit card Adrian had never seen before, “Em has a card that gets comp’d by the job. And since this is a team event after nearly getting shredded by a gorilla, I think Waller can bankroll us tonight.” 

“In that case I’m gonna need two bags of each Skittles flavor just for me-” 

He went on, but you just bounced on your heels waiting for John to park. Everyone had a part; Chris and John were heading out to find a dealer Chris knew for some last minute party favors, Harcourt and Adebayo were on alcohol and set up duty, grabbing speakers from a dusty room in the back and throwing on a playlist.

You and Adrian were on your way to 7-11 when you realized that the ride had been unusually quiet. You weren’t totally sure what you were to Adrian, but you knew that he never had any shortage of things to say or questions to ask you. As soon as you had joined the team and they had been given a (loose) background of why you joined the team, Adrian had had an endless stream of questions for you. The team had given him a hard time about it, but you assured them you didn’t mind, not adding how adorable you found it. 

“What’s on your mind, Ade?” 

It struck you not for the first time that it was a good thing Vigilante’s mask was so concealing because you could read every thought that passed Adrian’s mind. He clearly weighed whether or not to tell the truth or make something up, you could see the moment he decided on the truth, and the moment that he braced himself play out in succession.

“I’m thinking about smoking with you guys to stop being annoying like Chris said, but it’s probably so gross and I’m gonna choke and then he’s just gonna make fun of me more and think I’m a lame best friend so then Adebayo is gonna be second under Eagley and third may as well not even count as a best friend.”

Everything was said in one running sentence and he kept his eyes straight ahead, but you could tell how worried he actually was about this. 

“Okay.” You took a deep breath-

“It’s fine, I was being stupid.”

“No, you’re not, let’s just talk it out. Seriously.” You looked right at him and he nodded. Pulling into the 7-11 parking lot, he parked and threw his seat belt off, turning to you and waiting. 

“First of all Ade, don’t smoke because of Chris. He’s just messing with you and once he starts partying he’ll forget he even said it.” 

Adrian nodded begrudgingly.

“Second, the only reason you should try tonight would be if you want to try it for yourself while you’re with friends who’ll look out for you in case it doesn’t go well. For all of his jokes I know Chris would look out for you if it actually came down to it. He’d make fun of you first, but he’d help.” You smirked at him, shrugging. 

Adrian took a deep breath and released it, immediately feeling lighter, but also a little scared. He told you it was Chris he was worried about, totally. It was, anyway, but then you sat there and walked through everything he said, one step at a time, in a way no one else ever does and he was able to make sense of things so the problem just…goes away? Crazy.

“I know you said I should only do it if I want to, but I wanna know if you think I should do it?” He asked you so genuinely, like it was a matter of life and death.

“Okay, how about this. I’ll try to explain what I like about it, and you can think about if you’d like that too and want to try.” He nodded and you took that as your sign to keep going, “I mean you know me Ade, I get anxiety about things I don’t even know if I should have anxiety about yet. Not to mention all the shit I’d much rather forget. I’m not saying smoking makes any of that go away, but it definitely puts me in a headspace where for a little while it doesn’t feel as heavy. It feels like I can really breath, and all of the good things just feel better too. It’s not like that for everyone, and it takes some getting used to, but that’s what I like about it.” 

You meandered towards the end of that sentence, suddenly feeling self conscious over how intently Adrian was staring at you and listening to your every word. He thought about what you said before very seriously stating, “Okay, I’m definitely a maybe.” and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Let’s head in, gonna take a while to grab one of everything.” You joked, exiting the car with Adrian catching up to you. 

By the time you made it back to base Adrian wouldn’t let you help carry anything and asked you to send Chris and John out instead. He did, however, take the time to clarify that he wasn’t being sexist, he just knew you had carried enough out of 7-11 and Harcourt and Adebayo probably needed a break from their bickering.

He was way more aware than people gave him credit for, you decided making your way into the building.

“That was a pretty clean swipe but I’m gonna need my wallet back now.” Emilia help her hand out expectantly, smirking.

“‘Clean’ come on, you know you didn’t even notice, you can say so.” You rolled your eyes and passed the wallet back, leaving the receipt tucked in for her expense report. You looked around and laughed, “Do you think you guys got enough beer?” There were cases all over of several different types.

Leota shrugged, “Everyone likes something different and it’s not like we’re not gonna use it.” 

“That’s true, I just know once I smoke I’m going to start tossing those like I’m Stone Cold Steve Austin and no one will be able to talk sense into me.” 

The guys all came in dropping bags from 7-11 just in time to catch your last remark and Chris immediately agreed.

“FUCK YEAH WE HAVE TO-”

“OUTSIDE!” Emilia interrupted, “If you must be children, do. it. out. side.” 

“Yes, mom.” You rolled your eyes, quickly shaking your head at Chris and shooting him a warning glare from adding on to your statement. You could easily see him calling Emilia ‘mommy’ and getting this whole night canceled for everyone. 

“Need any help?” You turned to John who you were surprised to see getting a bong set up. Not exactly what you were expecting for a black ops team, but hey, who were you to judge. Lucifer used some surprising pieces too, after all. 

“Nah, pretty straightforward over here, but everyone agreed you’ll be getting first dibs.”

“Aw, thanks.” You weren’t all that surprised. As Emilia said, you not joining in the celebration was an odd sight, and not just to her. There was a silent agreement that you needed the nudge.

Everyone settled onto the floor surprisingly naturally. Once the adrenaline started fading a little and they had found their favorite snacks, the group found themselves casually arranged in a circle on the ground, throwing things at each other and debating the music choices. 

A loose order was formed once you decided to light the bong, with Adrian observing as the rest of the group (excluding Emilia) passed the herb around. After Chris lit more than he could handle you jumped in to help, pulling the bowl and laughing along with Chris. 

“So is there a way for like,” he nudged his glasses up his face and shrugged, “you can start it for me and I can just ya know, do that part at the end?” 

“Is he talking about a shotgun?” Economos foolishly asked while Chris burst into a grin. You looked to the two women for help, neither seeing any reason for your panic. 

“Why yes there IS a way to do that, and I’m sure Angel Cakes would be happy to help you out with it.” Chris eagerly nodded at you, making sure to drop the nickname he knew you couldn’t stand. 

“Chris don’t be ridiculous, we all know you two are close enough to do it.” Leota jumped in, ready to save you from your already weakening self control. 

“Well sure but he didn’t ask me he asked her, and probably cause he knows I might laugh right in his mouth and that would be-“ 

“Okay, enough, yeah, fuck it-“ you cut everyone off, getting a bit louder with each work, “I’m gonna shot gun Ade’s first hit, but everyone’s taking a shot first.” 

The group gave a salute and followed orders, proving that there were at least some things they could agree on as a team. 

“So what exactly does shotgun even mean for this, it’s not like shotgunning a beer otherwise why would you or Chris have to do it…?” Adrian was asking the questions to the group, but specifically you while you grabbed your lighter from Chris and motioned for Adrian to slow down. 

“I’m gonna light the bowl, take a deep breath, and hold all the smoke in my mouth.” He nodded for you to continue, “I’m going to turn to you and blow all the smoke into your mouth, so make sure you take a nice deep breath. Hold it for a while, and don’t let anyone be a bitch if you cough.” 

“Economos, this is what you thought I was asking for??” 

“Well you seem like you’re into some kinky shit so sure!” 

“I mean yeah but not with you!” Adrian caught himself and turned back to you “With him that is, not saying yes with you but not no either because any answer is inappropriate so-“ 

“Adrian,” you stopped him, “We’re here now. Just take a deep breath when I tell you, okay?” 

He nodded and you lit the bowl, saying a quick prayer that this wasn’t going to be the metaphorical rubber band snap that sent you crossing the lines of appropriate workplace boundaries with an off-the-books-anyway assassin. 

You went on as if everything were completely normal. As if Adrian weren’t watching your lips with the intense concentration usually reserved for something else entirely, deadly in a different sense. You pulled the bowl from the slider and grabbed Adrian’s chin, gesturing him to tilt and open his mouth, which he did surprisingly quickly. 

The first thing he noticed was that he did faintly taste your cherry soda, something he told himself wouldn’t happen, because surely the only taste he would be able to notice would be the weed he told himself he’d never try. It almost felt welcoming in a way he didn’t expect, it tasted familiar, and tasted like you, something he had been so curious about that he felt instantly calmed. Until he remembered the smoke in his lungs and urgently started coughing, smoke pluming out quickly. Expecting everyone to be laughing, he was pleasantly surprised to look up to see the team cheering, Chris coming over to clap him on the back.

Turned out to be exactly like you said, Adrian realized everything felt a little lighter. Problems that seemed insurmountable earlier…kind of seemed manageable now. 

[wyvolf]

Introducing... Dr. Wyvern (NOT BRIGHT REWRITE, SEPARATE OC NOW)

He is not my bright rewrite, wyvern is now his own character

My attempt at a SCP-963 / Jack Bright rewrite and/or variant. His full name is Dr. Midas Wyvern, his pronouns are he/him and he's a trans man [not trans *masc*].

The name comes from I liked the name Midas, and i used to have an OC named it back when I was 13. The last name comes from the fact I like dragons! And Wyvern as a last name just slaps hard.

A lot of things on Wyvern is still very much the same to the original Bright, I still take [at least some] heavy influence from Major Tom with changes to fit Wyvern more so.

In doing so this does mean the extensive family (Mikell, TJ, Claire and Sarah) change to adjust to this, mostly still having the same first names with TJ combining his first and middle names than a hyphenated first name.

Now the amulet itself, 963, I have changed the overall appearance still very much based on my original idea of it being based on the Amulet of Arkay, mostly in the appearance: a sun like shape. It's anomalous properties remain very similar to the original 963 with the key difference of there is no more 'cloning', there is no need to change the body after 30 days Wyvern can have the body for as long as it allows him but taking off the amulet will cause that body to go lump and be dead. Another key difference is that when a new body wears it the physical body will have some minor changes to be very similar to what the original body looked: hair will grow, the same scars pre-accident will form, eye color, etc. However it doesn't affect the whole body; if the body has tattoos they will remain, height, general build, amab? afab? those will remain, etc. In amab bodies there is a huge amounts of euphoria, afab is dysphoria central I will make that clear right now. Any past person is 100% gone. Disappeared. Gone to the void.

Like in Major Tom; the Wyvern family has the amulet in their family for generations rather than it being picked up by the Foundation. Wyvern was a researcher when it happened, similar setting, similar Abel k wording.

Design reveal soon as well as more lore tidbits. For now I am working on a general theme/songs that vibe with Wyvern, you can chose to listen to such here.

"But Gun! didn't you say..." Yes. I did. But rewrites/personal versions and generally 963 ocs have existed for years prior to the start of this year where it really kicked into gear. I still believe the character Jack Bright belongs to the community and those who still write, rp, cosplay, kin, especially those who happen to be or have introjects of him are still in the right to do so. Do not force your headcanons, designs, rewrites, Shaw, or anything onto others, do not bully, do not threaten. Just ignore, block, or go outside.

// update: I no longer use Dr. Bright (or Mikell), his author AdminBright/Michael Peters is a nonce (aka pedophile groomer freak). You cannot separate this art (Bright) piece from the creator (AdminBright)

[x-honeycomb-x]

I cried in the shower (manic rant)

I have done nothing but masturbating today. I also made some cereal.

I fantasized about a mommy, and looked up some lesbian porn. I really like smart and emotionally responsive but reserved mommies.

As I finished, I needed hugs from her. I grabbed my fluffy comforter and pillow to feel hugged. I thought about her (for the context I watched India Summer), and I let myself feel needy towards a mommy.

I thought about detransitioning into a girl, and thought "I wanna grow up pretty and smart like you." And in my head she replied, "No silly, I will grow up to be me, and you will grow up to be you."

That thought stuck with me for a long time.

I don't know who I am, I am rejecting a lot of parts of who I am (gender aside). I have C-PTSD and have an unstable sense of self even. You reap just what you sow, who am I? Who will I grow up to be if I would just let myself?

I need to be who I am. I am not taught how to be a functionable person? I don't even have a regular eating routine after school. These are all parts of me. I imagine the mommy and I repeat back and forth. "I can't be who you are, I am my own person."

And then I felt like it's her time to get going. I think about having a home, having a personhood to return to. "I'm gonna get going now." I often hear people say. Where to? Home? Back to their life? I don't have a sense of self, I only hang out with people until I am exhausted, so when people wants to leave I think they're tired of me.

I said goodbye. I imagine her having a regular day after us. I imagine her juices still wet on my pussy.

I look at my room. I am not what I want to achieve but haven't. I am not a bassist-to-be cause I'm not there yet. I am a musically inclined person who's is planning to play bass in the coming week. I need to eat. Hunger is part of me.

I need to shower. I need to feel clean, wanting to shower is part of who I am.

I started playing Dazey and the Scouts on Spotify, got my clothes and stepped in the shower.

The clothes I choose this afternoon is who I am.

I keep thinking about being me in the shower. I thought about that reply in my head, "Silly, I will grow up to be me, you will grow up to be you." Who will I be? I am genuinely scared. I remember fragments of being bullied in kindergarten, being abused at home, I imagine myself being under a hydraulic press, becoming what the press is besides at the seams; I am only myself when I can't contain it in me anymore. That would mean outbursts. And abstract daydreams.

I am scared. I am gender-fluid, and yesterday after getting a ounce of masc euphoria (my first in a long time now), I realized I really don't feel trans masculine right now. I feel feminine. What if this goes on for years, and I really feel like going off testosterone for a while because I feel feminine for like 3 years?

I feel a repressed self inside of me. But I don't know them enough. And I am really tired of not knowing myself.

I need to use my sensitive wash. The package has a nice lavendar color. I thought about how dysphoric I felt when I watched straight PIV porn today, and how safe I felt when watching lesbian mommy porn. I thought about how I would like a mommy to touch this, scissor on this.

Dazey and the Scouts started screaming in their song.

This womb is sapphic. I never. Looked at my stomach and thought about this. I know I like girls (and AFAB people). The idea of sapphic exists in my head. (The name is based on the first historically recorded female writer actually.) I know I have a womb, briefly. I've done so much things to this womb that I don't even wanna think about.

All I think about this womb is PIV, otherwise I shut it out. Textbooks, Tumblr, my family, 9gag, I've spent my whole life listening to how people wanna get a penis in this and how I should keep them in or out. I look at my stomach, this womb is sapphic. It wants to be scissored on, it wants to be kissed by girls, I never associated the imagery with this idea. Dazey and the Scouts started screaming in their song and I cried.

I've spent my whole life hating girls. I am autistic and couldn't relate to any of them at school. I thought all girls were bullies, or they're so etheral they're untouchable. It was only recently I actively try to think of myself as a woman, and as I walk past other women on the street, I try to think of myself as one of them. It's a strange thought and it still tingles my mind with some resistance. They're just people, they are all sorts of people, and I am one of them. (For the context I am gender-fluid, so I am also a woman.)

Girls can start rock bands, girls can scream their heart out in songs. Girls write and some of it gets in the canon. Girls wear makeup and girls shower. I just started doing makeup today and I wonder if the crying would melt my makeup. (It didn't.)

So that's it. I found out my womb is sapphic(+) and it doesn't want cis men. It doesn't want to be bred, it's tired of discussions around unwanted PIV sexual attention. But god, I've let so many in so many times. I didn't get a IUD so I can have unprotected sex, but my mental illnesses got the better of me. I don't want PIV attention and this device closes the door. I feel dirty for the men and woman that have cummed semen on this metal. My womb wants peace.

I thought of the bullying and the abuse. I am tired of being scared of myself. I wanna turn that negative thought into a positive mantra - I am not afraid to be myself. I thought about it and breathed it in and out. (I meditate and am in somatic therapy.)

I walk out of the shower, got dressed and started writing this. I will still struggle to find my personhood, but I am trying. I don't want to be afraid of being myself anymore. (I am so mentally ill.) I am amazed by all the things that girls can do. I am sapphic and turns out my womb is too. Some lesbians can be mean and scary, but I have every damn right to identify as part of the community. I am also very scared of my gender swings. When will it swing again, how long will it stay, and what do I do about the hormones situation - I wanna go off T at the moment so bad, but I also already miss T although I haven't gone off it.

So that's [edit: birth name] and her little gender adventures, and she cried in the shower. Now she's gonna go get some food and maybe go to a party after this. Or just stay in and read. I really have had enough masturbation today.

[threewaywithdelusion]

Nos Armários dos Vestiários: Roy Kent

This is a transcription/translation of the podcast Nos Armários dos Vestiários, episode 4: A Base de Tudo. (Note: I have no translation skills besides speaking both English and Portuguese. This is a very rough translation and I have paraphrased in some places, but the message has remained the same).

This episode talks about youth academies (idk the proper term, feel free to tell me) and it made me think of Roy. The podcast is about Brazilian football, so I'm sure there are some major cultural differences, but given that locker rooms around the world are fairly similar (and given that players play for clubs outside their own countries), I think it's still valuable knowledge

Interview:

Douglas Braga (who went to the youth academy for Botafogo, a Brazilian club): I can't talk about now, I can only speak about my own time, but there was no such thing as a person who determined how things in the housing would work. It was like this: you were in there, your bed is this one, your closet is this one, and you look after yourself. There was a guy who did security for the place but no one you could go to and say "listen, this is happening. What should we do about this?" That didn't exist. You had to look after yourself and make your own relationships in that place. And then you start seeing survival of the fittest, the rule of man. The stereotypical man, the angry man, he gets to rule. This is going to seem strange, but it's not different from what you see in a police movie about people in prison. A stronger man will arrive, who has more contacts, who's played for longer, and he dominates. He dominates in the sense of saying "go buy this for me. Do this for me." It's like this. "Oh, you're younger. You have to do this. You have to clean this."

You grow up with the idea that this is normal and natural.

You have to show your testosterone to everyone. That's what counts and that's what gives you credit to be places. Because it's not just about making friendships off the pitch. This goes onto the pitch. If you're a guy who doesn't participate in the same things, the ball won't reach you on the pitch. There are ways you go about excluding that guy and if you can't get the ball on the pitch, you aren't seen. So, you don't really have a choice. Either you play the game, literally, or you're out. And not out just in the "we don't like you, stay isolated" way. It's "we don't like you and if you're a striker, the ball won't reach you."

Joanna (podcast host): A highly competitive environment doesn't open space for a lot of types of emotions.

Douglas: The years I played... we lived with two models of emotions. As if there were no other feelings. There was the euphoria of masculinity and a few rare times when you could be frustrated by loss. I talk about frustration about loss because everyone lived far from home, so some news always arrived saying you lost someone from home. It was a moment where you were looked at with kindness because you were crying. For just a few moments, because the next day you had to go out and play. Outside of this, I don't remember a single moment -- and that's given that people had smaller groups of more intimate friends -- I don't remember a single moment of sentiment where someone said they were sad about missing home. Because the idea that's created is that talking about all this is showing some kind of weakness.

Joanna: Football configures itself in this way, with this exercise of self-affirmation, of needing to be manly, needing to be strong. There isn't space for anything else. From Douglas's story we can tell that if you express any sort of weakness, like any feeling, you can compromise your dream. A dream that doesn't only belong to the boy who is there, but also to a family who many times rests all its hopes on this boy.