#barely missing the valedictorian spot but ending up with more time to talk to the crowd. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chiwhorei · 4 years ago

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a cigarette between friends

pairing: k. ukai x fem!reader

word count: 3.4k

genre: angst, implied smut, 18+ minors dni

warnings: implied smut, no actual sex scene; death of a parent; fwb; cursing; smoking; drinking; characters are 18 i do not, would not, and will not write minors

hymns: mover awayer by hobo johnson, it ends tonight by all-american rejects, and closing time by: semisonic

After the ceremony ends, even just a few hours removed, the reality of adulthood starts to settle uncomfortably in both of their chests. This would be the night that changes everything.

“I have to say it.” They both think to themselves and brace for the impact this night is bound to bring.

Ukai Keishin and Sawamura y/n sit on the roof of y/n’s house and watch the sky melt from pink to deep purple. They should be out with friends or family, rejoicing in the freedom that graduation has brought them, but neither have many friends anyway. Not ones worth more than this rooftop and the view above them. “Cheers, Kei. We’re celebrating.” She says grabbing a pack of cigarettes and lighter from the windowsill behind her. She rolls her big, doey eyes and smacks the bottom of the box. She lights one and passes it to him after a few puffs. “Volleyball is over, one cigarette won’t fucking kill you.” She was wrong. That one cigarette would stop his fucking heart every time he watched her take a drag. The way she talks with it bobbing between her teeth was just as intoxicating as the six-pack of beer next to them.

Never has the tension between them been so thick. There are words hanging like nooses from her tongue, but for the first time in her life y/n couldn’t say what was on her mind. Ukai is always on the receiving end of the sharp comment shooting off of her lips, and he always dishes back what is served. The more they hurl verbal weapons, the closer they are pulled together. There was a magnet impeded in each respective skull and they always come crashing into one another.

If anyone ever saw them together- or caught them together- during school or before Volleyball practice, they were fighting. The steam rising from both parties was palpable whenever they were within ten feet of each other. No one knew what it was like in these moments, though. No one knew what the pair was like behind a closed door or on top of a roof. They were truly inseparable.

The only times y/n is quiet is when sucking on Ukai’s tongue.

It goes one of a few ways with Ukai Keishin and Sawamura y/n. There are plenty of late-night booty calls or summoning each other out of pure boredom. Most often, however, their screaming matches end in hate fucking. That’s how this all started anyway.

“Maybe if you could take your head out of your ass, Ukai, we would be able to finish this project without ripping each other’s throats out.” She whispers at him in an even tone, glaring across the table they share at the library.

Being in the same classes was already grating on both of them. Whatever subject, they would be at odds. Constantly prolonging class discussions just to try to win the competition they created for themselves.

Ukai didn’t actually care to debate the meaning of Cordelia's death in King Lear, but since Y/n had an opinion he surely wasn’t going to miss an opportunity to piss her off. This fighting came to a head when they were paired together for a literature project at the beginning of their third year. Everyone around them braced for impact when the pairs were assigned, realizing the cluster-fuck about to unfold.

“And maybe you could take the stick out of your ass.” He grumbles, but then a sadistic grin spreads across his face. He picks up his chair and drags it to the spot directly next to her. He leans right into her ear, “Unless that’s where you like it, Miss Perfect.”

His comment was a gamble for sure, Ukai knows that the hot tempered girl next to him will probably hit him with her notebook, but if he shocks her, he wins.

“I usually don’t start with things up my ass. Plus, I’m into blondes.” A small shrug and bored look was all he got. Dammit. He should have known that he wouldn’t faze her that easily. Still… She doesn’t acquaint her hand with the back of his head, so he decides to push her a little further.

“How about we take a break and I can relieve some of your tension, y/n.” She stops writing in the sea of papers in front of them and looks at Ukai with unwavering eyes. Her stare is so intense he starts to prepare for the worst. At least in the position they’re currently sat in she can’t kick him in the balls.

“Okay.” Y/n starts packing up her things and Ukai is reeling. Nothing shocked her, and even if he had propositioned her, Y/n always had control.

Whichever way it starts, whether the tension threatens to boil over or just out of boredom, it ends in with him slamming her against the nearest surface while she pulls on the short brown hair at his nape. She has an amazing way of bringing out passion in people and Ukai is no exception. She challenges him at every turn. She elicits rage, anger, frustration- but he comes back for more like she’s holy communion.

“What are we doing?” Ukai is agitated by the silence that has consumed the past few moments. Y/n scoffs at his quip and takes the cigarette from his hand, bringing it to her plush, disarming lips. “Come on, what’s some room temperature beer and a cigarette between friends?” Now it was his turn to scoff.

“I’m not sure we would be considered friends, princess. We’re,” He pauses to contemplate, rubbing the bottle he’s holding between his palms “more like business associates.” The comment feels like poison in his mouth, even though it receives the intended chuckle from y/n. He takes a hearty sip from his beer to wash down the taste of his own words.

He wasn’t lying, these two are not friends. Ukai, even if he was closer to a delinquent than a valedictorian, lives in a different world than y/n. He has athletic talent and a drive to compete, he has a group to belong to and a uniform to adorn. She mulls around with the crowd who directly opposes structured sports. Every time they’re shuffled into the gymnasium for a pep-rally, her friends jeer and taunt as various captains speak words of encouragement.

She hates her friends almost as much as she hates everyone else. She never thought liking vinyl and horrible black coffee were interesting traits, definitely not ones to develop a whole personality around. Y/n thinks it stupid to oppose society without a good reason. She has plenty of reasons, but the friends around her never made compelling points. Even so, she doesn’t have to like the people around her to understand the need for a place to belong. Until she found somewhere to truly be herself, they would have to work. Not that it matters now, even freshly out of graduation, she knows she isn’t going to see anyone from high school again.

“Business associates, huh? Is that what you call this-” She motions between them with the beer bottle in her hand, “thing that we do? Is Hate Fucking right under the NASDAQ when you check the stocks in the morning?” Her comment was sharp but her actions directly contrast. She moves to sit in between his legs and presses her back to his chest. Even if she’s not offended by his comment, she craves the intimacy of his arms wrapped around her. She craves to prove wrong a point she cannot argue. Every time she leans into him is a silent claim. She touches him in a way that no one else does. Y/n would never be seen at one his games donning his number or cheering him on, that was an action reserved for a girlfriend. She wasn’t there to jump into his arms after a win, but she was surely there to take his frustration out on after a loss. Her touch was not that of a romantic, but it served a purpose for both of them, and she revels in that control.

It’s not like he minds, pushing his hands under the shirt that hangs so deliciously on her petite frame. His shirt. He rests his calloused palms on her stomach and she reaches up to run her hand over the back of his hair.

Ukai is addicted to the feeling of her skin. Her soft, curvy body and the smell of strawberry lotion mixed with the faint trace of smoke clouds any rational thoughts. The feeling of her thighs wrapped around him could keep him up at night. At the beginning, sex was more than enough to quench his thirst. The fucked out look on her face in those moments was like methadone. However good that feeling was though, it quickly became insufficient. The real drug is this moment, with her in between his legs and his chin resting on the top of her head. If her sex was methadone, this is heroine.

The comment she made was almost lost by the feeling of her flush against his hard chest. Where he was almost drunk on the feeling of her bare ass pressed into him, she wasn’t flustered in the slightest.

Sawamura y/n was unmatched when she spoke. It seems like she employed a whole writers room to push out bitchy comments. How was she able to counter his dumb remark with a pointed jab and lay into his chest in a way that’s making him want to protect her? How are both possible at the same time? Fuck, he has to tell her before he chickens out again. He doesn’t know where to begin, but his words tumble out in a small voice.

“We don’t always hate fuck, y/n.” He’s referring to the fact that they do spend time together with their clothes on, but his tone implies something different. The accusation is not lost on either of them. She doesn't show it, but his hushed confessional knocks the breath out of her lungs. He was right again.

She can’t deny the soft touches she places on his face after falling into bed together, studying his features as they let their breathing steady. She can’t deny the times she presses her small hands into the dips of his shoulder blades after a grueling practice. She can’t forget the night he came to her after being beaten to a pulp, and she will never forget the way he grabbed her thighs to ease the pain with each swipe of antiseptic on his beaten face.

“Ukai Keishin, why are you calling me at three in the morning. This better be important.” Y/n uses his full name as a sign of her frustration and it feels like a knife piercing his skull.

“Your parents are gone this weekend, right?” He doesn't mean to sound like a prick, but the throbbing in his head is making him lose his senses. He coughs and blood spatters on his hand.

“Yes, but my brother’s asleep so if you’re coming over you have to be quiet. My window is open.” She whispers into the other end of the line and he hears her getting out of bed.

“I can’t come through the window. I’m at your front door.” The idea of climbing the tree in her backyard and jumping up to the roof seems impossible in his current state. He hopes that the tone of his voice is enough to stifle any argument from her. It seems to work as the door to her house is unlocked as quietly as possible. Upon opening it, she nearly screams at the sight in front of her. Ukai is leaning against the door frame with a beaten face and a small, apologetic smile.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” He stumbles and y/n helps him inside. She puts her hands around his waist and hauls him clumsily into the bathroom. She sits him on the edge of the bathtub and grabs the first aid kit from the closet with shaking hands. “Is she shaking because she’s concerned for me? Or is she just pissed?” His inner-monologue is drowned out by the feeling of his own heartbeat in his swelling eye.

Y/n runs a washcloth under warm water and turns to face him. He looks up and is able to see her clearly for the first time- as clearly as he can with one good eye. Her bed head is the first thing Ukai notices, h/c locks wildly spilling over her shoulders. She looks exhausted. The bags under her eyes are deep and it looks like she’s been crying. “That wouldn’t be from me right? Surely not, if I ever did something worth crying over, she would just yell at me.” He watches the form in front of him, clad in nothing but an over-sized shirt from a band he doesn't recognize and- he lifts up the shirt slightly- yeah, a pair of underwear.

If she notices him staring at her, she doesn’t say anything and approaches him with the washcloth. She looks so different standing above him like this, she looks like-

“An angel.” He says out loud, only realizing it when the sound of his voice hits his ears. “Hardly Kei. Stop being weird.” She chuckles at his dizzy comment and lifts his chin up, at least her nickname for him is back on her lips, where it belongs. “This is going to sting but you have to stay quiet. If you wake up my brother I will kill you.” Y/n stands in between his parted legs and starts to dab lightly at the blood under his nose. He winces and grabs her thighs to anchor himself, biting his tongue to stifle a painful grunt. Her honey-sweet thighs keep him distracted, at least a little, from the sting of the rag making contact with his face.

“What happened?” Y/n asks so softly it is almost a hum.

“The guys and I were just hanging out- ah, ouch- and some prick from the basketball team started messing with one of our first years. They called him a queer, so my fist attached itself to the douchbag’s jaw.” He says simply and digs his nails into the spot right below her ass.

“And I can guess that said basketball douchebag had friends.” Y/n puts a band aid on the gash under his blackening eye, and Ukai lets out a low chuckle.

“Yeah, but I’m the only one who really got hurt.” She sighs and cleans the dirt from his shaved hairline with feather-light touches.

“Don’t expect me to tell you that you’re a hero, Kei. I think what you did was stupid. There are better ways to support gay rights than getting your ass handed to you.” His desire to stand up to injustice was commendable, even if it was rough around the edges, but she wasn’t about to stroke his ego by voicing that opinion. She steps away slightly to clean up the small pile of wrappers and gauze, and Ukai immediately misses having his hands on her bare legs.

“I wouldn't expect a gold star from you, y/n.” He clears his throat in an awkward series of coughs and takes the aspirin and glass of water from her outstretched hands. ‘Can I ask you a question?” He swallows the pills thickly and sets the cup next to him. He plays with the hem of her sleep shirt and looks up at her, awaiting her acknowledgement. The way his fingers tug at the fabric makes him feel like a child.

“I’m not blowing you just because you got hurt.” That damn tongue of hers, so sharp no matter the situation. She puts the first aid kit back and wrings the blood out of the washcloth in her hands, skin tinted pink under the water before running clear.

“You can ask me whatever you want, but I’m going upstairs to sit on the roof.” He follows y/n like a lost puppy, he’s only ever been in her room so walking through these halls feels like an intrusion. Ukai winces as he climbs out of her bedroom window into the cool night’s air.

“Were you crying?” He asks as she lays her head in his lap and blows cigarette smoke in his face, an action he usually finds annoying. He grimaces but lets it slide without complaint. Maybe it’s the late night, or the news that she received a few hours ago, but his presence is calming her racing mind. So as to not look too out of character though, she gives his earnest question a harsh scowl.

“Maybe. Why do you care?” Y/n tries to quell her fastened heartbeat at the thought that he cares about if she’s been crying. The night’s events really must be taking a toll if she’s started caring about that. She takes another deep, cancerous inhale and ashes the cigarette in her fingers with a practiced flick.

“You’re an ugly crier, it’s weird seeing your face all sad instead of bitchy.” Maybe an asshole comment isn’t the best idea, but Ukai knows exactly what reaction he would receive. Even if he doesn’t know what upset her, he knew that the insincere insult would make her laugh. She did, she laughed loudly and tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She needed that, and he knew it.

As her giggle subsides, she looks up at his bruising face, She reads his eyes like a book, they tell of fondness and concern where she usually sees anger or agitation. Ukai hesitates, but cards his fingers through her hair that has cascaded around his lap. The tender action feels foreign to them both, but she makes no move to stop him as he scratches gently at her scalp. The silence around them is ringing in both of their ears.

“It’s my dad. My mom took him into the city for an appointment yesterday, he was admitted on the spot. He’s not going to make it more than a few days.” Y/n blows a smoke ring into the crisp air and continues, “He’s been sick for a long time. Like, a really long time. I mean he was so frail when I helped him into the car yesterday, but I didn’t expect that call. I don’t think you can ever expect that call.” She doesn’t realize she had started crying again until his rough hand meets her cheek to thumb away the escaping tears.

This shouldn’t be happening. Even if the circumstances are tragic, and his intent is genuine- it’s selfish to love the feeling of his comforting gesture. Y/n let’s Ukai do so much to her, but this moment feels like she is stealing from him. She’s a thief, but she indulges herself, resolving to make sure this never happens again. In this moment, this horrible night, she leans in shamelessly and memorizes the feeling of his sweet, strangers touch.

“My brother and I are going to see him tomorrow. I haven’t told him yet. He deserves one last night of sleep. His childhood ends tomorrow.” Ukai holds the shaking frame in his arms, tightening like she would disappear.

His heart breaks for her and the nine-year-old boy in the next room. The boy Ukai has never met. Why would he know y/n’s brother? He only ever comes to this house to get off and sneaks away before the sun wakes in the morning. There’s no love here, there shouldn’t be, but his heart breaks all the same.

“Kei,” she exhales a cloud of smoke from her nose and sits up to face him. “I need to tell you something.” His hands start sweating frantically and he knows it is now or never. He has to say the thoughts that are burning a hole in his tongue. Y/n and Ukai spoke at the same time. Both said one sentence that would hang off of this fucking rooftop for the next eight years.

“Y/n, I think I’m in love with you.”

“Kei, I’m moving to California for college.”

all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

#haikyuu x reader #coach ukai x reader #ukai x reader #ukai keishin x reader #ukai keishin #haikyuu!!#tw: smoking

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florenceandthemachine · 4 years ago

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cutting down the family tree

@buckleydiazs said:

High school au where Buck’s the sad lonely kid with the shit family and Eddie’s the popular captain of the wrestling team who makes it his personal mission to make Buck an honorary Diaz and convince him that he deserves nice things I am just saying

WOW this got a lot longer than I thought, so I abandoned the ask and put everything all up in here. Only barely edited, SORRY LMAO.

8.5k, Buddie HS AU. underage-ish if you squint I guess? tw for abuse.

Buck was good at going unseen.

It was a defense mechanism—his parent’s couldn’t get upset with what they didn’t realize was there—and it had only amped up once Maddie graduated. Once she went off to college, Buck had no reason to be a distraction anymore, to try and pull attention off of anyone; so he just got better at it. He could pick things up and set them down without a sound. He constantly walked on the balls of his feet. He even kept his breathing even, slow and low, whenever he wasn’t alone.

At home, Buck had gotten really good at—nay, he had perfected—the art of becoming invisible. So it only made sense that it translated to his school life, as well.

He got good grades—straight A’s—but only high enough to keep his grades at a 4.0, not high enough to earn Valedictorian, no AP classes, no crying over tests. Enough to ensure he would have opportunities after high school, but not enough to bring any student or teacher attention his way.

He worked out every day, and had for years, years of defending himself or defending Maddie meant he had to be in the best shape he could be in—but while his body was packed with lean muscle and quick reflexes, he drowned himself in clothes that were a size too big, making him look smaller, unassuming. He kept his posture slouched whenever he wasn’t standing to take a few inches off of his height, to the point that he could get lost in a crowd while you were still looking at him.

He didn’t participate in after school activities. He didn’t run for school president. He didn’t have a flashy car, a high status girlfriend, he didn’t show any interests that might make him friends or enemies.

Buck was invisible to absolutely everyone.

Well... everyone except Eddie Diaz.

Eddie Diaz, who was a senior, like Buck was, but was new to Pennsylvania, moving over the summer — who was 18, a year older than Buck, because he was held back in the third grade for fighting — Eddie Diaz, who had joined the wrestling team and made captain in an embarrassingly short amount of time (well, embarrassing for the rest of the team).

Why did Buck know all of this?

Because this was also Eddie Diaz, who, on the first day of Senior Year, locked on to Buck with laser-like focus, ignored all of Buck’s defenses, and apparently decided to take him on as a new friend pet project.

And much to Buck’s annoyance, he just couldn’t. Shake. Eddie. Off.

He definitely tried. He changed his walkways, he changed the bathrooms he used, he changed where he parked, he did everything except change his schedule—and Eddie was still there, keeping up mostly one sided conversations. The only time he had to himself any more was his free period, the time he spent in the school weight room, and never before had be been so thankful for that regular moment of peace.

Buck finally hit his limit one lunch period, spent huddling in the library, when Eddie sat down across from him. "Eddie, isn’t there someone who actually wants to have lunch with you? Some of your friends, or teammates, or someone who isn’t me?” Buck had asked, barely looking up from the text book he had been reading—he wasn’t a fan of the ‘mean’ route, but he was at his wits end. When Eddie paused, Buck actually felt hope rise up in his chest, that he would be alone again.

But Eddie had just leaned forward, made eye contact, and said “Nope.” with the biggest, shit eating grin Buck had ever seen.

Fine. It was less than a year. Buck could handle Eddie being around him for less than a year.

Buck could not handle less than a year.

Because Eddie, Eddie was nice. To him. To Buck, who had never said more than ten words to any other student since the day he started high school. Eddie was nice to him, and it was going to kill him.

It was going to kill Buck because he found himself wanting to be nice back.

Not that Buck was a mean person, because he wasn’t, but niceness was followed by friendship, and friendship was followed by attachment, and that was simply unacceptable as far as Buck was concerned.

... not that he hadn’t wondered, of course. He had always wondered what it would be like, to be able to hang out with friends, to have people come over to his house for his birthday, to have more contacts in his cell phone than the front desk of the gym near his house, his parents, and Maddie.

He had wondered, sure, but he had never missed it. He had never craved it. He knew it was more important for him to be on his own, at least for the time being—an attachment would make it that much harder to get as far from the east coast as possible when time came for college, and that was unacceptable.

But...

As he pulled in the parking lot, to a familiar spot near the back of the school, and saw Eddie waiting there for him so they could walk in to class together...

Alright, so he wanted it. So sue him.

“Buckaroo!”

Well, that was a good way to make him want it a little less, at least.

“Eddie, I’ve told you,” Buck said with an exasperated sigh, locking his car behind him. “It’s just Buck.”

(Eddie had called him Evan once. Just once. Once the blind panic had subsided, Buck had put a stop to that, real quick.)

“And I’ve told you,” Eddie said in a sing-song voice, “it’s a nickname. Nicknames are what friends do, remember?”

“Your words, not mine.”

Friends. Is that what they were? He rolled his eyes and shouldered his bag instead of thinking about it too deeply, but he couldn’t deny the spike of anxiety that rippled through him as Eddie started to ramble, falling back into the easy habit of talking for the both of them. He didn’t want friends. He just wanted to get out.

“...and so I told him...”

Besides, it wasn’t like Eddie actually considered him a friend. They had barely spoken—well, Buck had barely spoken anyway. There was no way in hell that Eddie actually cared about him, right? He had to have some secondary motive.

"and after that, she...”

But that was frustrating in and of itself. Buck had been so sure that Eddie was up to something, or had some ulterior motive, or but damn it if Buck hadn’t been able to determine what it was. None of Eddie’s little douchebaggy wrestling friends had approached them, Eddie hadn’t even tried to get Buck out of his comfort zone yet, he hadn't done anything, and somehow, that was even more frustrating.

“...just because Ms. Syzmaski’s a wrinkled old bitch.”

Buck let out a laugh, in spite of himself, as Eddie rambled on, shaking his head. Ms. Syzmaski wasn’t that bad, and—oh.

He covered his mouth as soon as he realized what he had done. He didn’t think he had laughed at all since Maddie left, and to have one pulled out of him so suddenly was a little surprising, to say the least—but as he turned to Eddie, beet red, he could tell that he wasn’t the only one surprised.

The look that Eddie was giving him, however, was the closest thing to “starry eyed” that Buck had ever seen.

“I, uh, I have to get to class. Bye Eddie.” Buck blurted as he turned and booked it down the hall, not quiet quick enough to miss the smile and the incredibly soft “Bye, Buck” that followed him.

Things only got worse as more time went on.

Better?

No, worse. Definitely worse.

Because Eddie could make him laugh, and the more time he spent with him, and the more he actually listened, the more likely those moments were. He was nice, too nice, on the rare occasion that Buck actually had lunch in the lunch room instead of hiding in a stairwell or the library, Eddie said goodbye to his friends and joined him kind of nice. The kind of nice that worked its way past Buck’s defenses, instead of breaking them down.

The kind of nice that made Buck actually want to open up, which, as he would never forget, was a dangerous kind of nice.

It was also, as he learned too late, the kind of nice that made him fucking cave in way too easily to Eddie’s whining.

“Come on, Buck,” he had begged. “I’m going to be failing Chemistry if I don’t get a B on the midterm, and if I fail chemistry, I get booted from the team. You have to help me.”

And like a sap, Buck had sighed in agreement, giving up a Friday night doing nothing to help the intellectually infirm (“Hey!”).

Wincing as he touched up the concealer on his cheek, Buck dragged his backpack out of the passengers seat of his car, giving an appreciative look up to the small, ranch style house that spread out before him. It probably said a lot about his own expectations if he already felt more comfortable in front of a row of little ranch houses than he would in front of his own house, but… well, that was just it. His house was a big, gaudy house in a neighborhood full of big, gaudy houses. But everything about where he was now—the sound of a dog barking, the smell of someone cooking on the grill, the fact that you didn’t need to ask anyone to buzz you in to a front yard—screamed home.

He didn’t think anything could spoil how light he felt—and that was certainly proven true as Eddie opened the door before Buck even had a chance to knock.

“Hey Buck, thanks again, you… uh, wow. You look, uh, great.”

It was a small surprise, but a nice one. He had ditched his regular, baggy, hiding-in-plain-sight clothes for a simple pair of jeans and a polo shirt, casual but comfortable, and he tried to ignore the smile tugging at his lips even as his face heated up.

“I mean, it’s nothing special, it’s just jeans and a—“

“Eddie! Bring your friend inside and close the door!”

It didn’t matter how he had tried to prepare himself, there was something about a parent yelling that would probably always cause Buck to tense up, and tense up he did. If Eddie noticed, he didn’t say anything, thankfully, just hooked his elbow in Buck’ as he yelled right back. “His name is Buck, Mama, I told you that!”

He tried to get his heart to calm down as he felt Eddie tug him to the doorway, his free hand clinging to his backpack strap for dear life, bracing himself as he walked into…

…something that could not have been more polar opposite of his own life if it tried.

Eddie’s house was smaller, sure, but it was homey in a way that Buck had only imagined or seen in Hallmark movies. He was all smiles as Eddie introduced him to both of his parents (he knew how important first impressions were, had had that beaten in to him from a very young age), but he found that it wasn’t fake—he was genuinely glad to be there. Even if it still threw him for a loop when Eddie’s mother had insisted on being called Helena, had shoved a tray of snacks into Eddie’s arms, and sent them to Eddie’s room to study.

“Go on, we’ll let you know when dinner is ready. Get your studying done.”

“Thanks, Mama.”

“And leave the door open!”

“Mama!”

Buck was only mildly placated by the fact that Eddie was blushing as brightly as he was.

Any concerns that Eddie wouldn’t be taking this seriously, or was just looking for a reason to hang out and fuck around, were quickly put to rest as Eddie pulled out his chemistry book. It was comforting to know that Eddie was just as serious about his grades as he acted, and it made things a lot easier—when Buck didn’t have to spend half of his time telling Eddie to pay attention or to focus, as he had feared, things moved at a pace he hadn’t anticipated.

Eddie was incredibly smart. That much was obvious from the get go. Chemistry just didn’t click with him, but that was easy enough to rectify—he just had to help Eddie see things from a different angle, to focus more on the process than the end result, and “seriously Eddie, would it kill you to take a legible note for once in your life?”

Buck had set to work on transcribing some of Eddie’s rushed notes into a legible format while Eddie continued to work on a few practice problems, and before Buck knew it several hours had gone by and they were both being called down for dinner, and… look, Buck had a live in cook for most of his life, but damn if Helena’s enchiladas didn’t blow them out of the water.

He found himself drawn into the family dynamics easily—Eddie had introduced him to his sister, Sophia, explaining that Adriana was out for the night, and they talked, bickered, poked fun, everything that Buck had figured was out of his reach for the longest time. He spoke when he was asked questions, and let himself engage in a few conversations, but more than anything, he just sat and ate and soaked up the delicious atmosphere.

Was this what a family really felt like? He didn’t think he had ever felt like this at home, even before Maddie had graduated, even before his father had started drinking. He felt something white hot burn in his chest as the night dragged on—not jealousy, or envy, something more dangerous, want. It seemed like a cruel joke, that someone so close to him got to have it all, while he had… nothing, but as he looked over at Eddie, his head thrown back in laughter at one of his mothers jokes until Sophia flicked a piece of corn into his open mouth and he sputtered, he wouldn’t wish the reverse on even his worst enemy.

The good part about Pennsylvania was that it didn’t matter what time of the year it was, it was usually cold. Cold meant long sleeves and sweaters to cover the arms, and long pants to cover the legs, especially as the sticky feeling of Summer turned to foggy breaths and dew, and Buck could breathe a little easier.

Just a little easier, though, because when you were tugging your hoodie down over your head to cover a black eye, you couldn’t relax. Not really.

He was usually so careful. He was usually so good about covering his bruises (hell, he was usually good at getting bruises anywhere other than his face), but the last time he had touched himself up, he had forgotten to cap the concealer and the entire tube had run dry. He was sloppy. He had been reckless and stupid and sloppy and now he was paying the price; because as confident as he would have been a semester ago about getting through the day with a shiner and no one noticing, the day now included Eddie.

He didn’t know if he could avoid Eddie for an entire day. What was worse, he didn’t know if he wanted to.

The day had started off pretty well. He took the train to school instead of driving so Eddie wouldn’t see his car. He was barely on time to each and every class to avoid Eddie in the halls. He ignored every text that came in—though he did allow himself a grin when Eddie sent him a picture message of his Chemistry test, a big 91 circled on the front of it. He even managed to find a new place to eat his lunch, one he was sure that Eddie wouldn’t know about.

And then everything had gone to shit.

He had finished his History midterm early, turned it in with his head down, and walked out of the classroom. His next period was his free one, so he decided to head to the gym early, taking a quick stop in the locker room to change into a baggy, long sleeved shirt, chucking his hoodie and his backpack in a locker before getting to the gym. There was only one other person in the room, back turned to Buck as he walked in—it was as good as it could get, and he sent a silent prayer up to anyone who was listening in thanks.

It was going to be a cardio day, Buck could tell—his right wrist was a little sore, and his shoulder too, and while thankfully neither of them felt dislocated it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to try to lift weights. He could feel the tension bleed out of his shoulders as he started to stretch out his hips and legs, nearly ignoring the telltale buzz he felt at the base of his skull until it was too late.

“Buck! There you are!”

Buck bolted upright at the same moment as a hand clapped onto his shoulder, squeezing in the friendly way Buck had become so accustomed to—but now, instead of a familiar warmth in his stomach, it sent a bolt of pain through his body. He sucked in a gasp and jerked his body away from the pain, fists halfway up as he turned around, his body sagging when he saw Eddie standing opposite to him.

Eddie, who he had been avoiding all day, who’s multiple messages he had left on read, who now looked like he was face to face with a ghost. If he could imagine how he looked right now, he might have laughed—black eye, slumped shoulder, pale, panicked face. It was probably hilarious, even if Eddie didn’t seem to think so.

“Buck?”

“Hey, Eddie.”

“Buck, what... what happened to you? Is this why you’ve been avoiding me all day?”

The biting comment was on the tip of Buck’s tongue, to tell Eddie to fuck off, to get lost, but Eddie sounded so small and scared he couldn’t bring himself to snap. Instead, he offered a weak smile, shrugging his good shoulder. “Nothing I can’t handle. You should see the other guy, right?”

It probably was in poor taste to go for a joke, and Eddie’s dark expression only confirmed that fact, but what was Buck supposed to say? ‘Hey, no worries, my mom broke a picture frame so it was either let her get the shit beat out of her or take the heat?’ Yeah, no.

Suddenly, his face was in Eddie’s hands, and oh wow that was nice, and he had to work to keep from sighing as Eddie’s fingers went feather light over his skin.

“Buck, this wasn’t just a little love tap.” Hah, no, there was no love in it at all. “You know, I could teach you how to block a few hits. Some self defense.”

Buck laughed, humorlessly, shaking his head. “No, that’s okay. Not a lot of good there, I don’t think.” he shrugged, shaking his head, even as Eddie opened his mouth to protest.

“But I can—”

“Stop. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Buck, I am serious. I’m really worried about you, have been all day.”

Buck had to swallow at that, his heart sinking, and he looked down as he weighed his options. Neither were good. But if one kept Eddie from worrying...

“...fine. On one condition.” Buck said, his voice a little thick as he looked back up to Eddie, who... well, he looked like he would do anything Buck asked at that moment, and wasn’t that an interesting swarm of butterflies in his stomach?

“You stop asking about how I got them.”

Eddie’s face did a funny kind of flip flop, but eventually, he nodded. “Fine. First lesson starts now.”

Buck sighed again as he thumbed the hem of his shirt, debating for only a moment before he pulled it off. The tank top he was wearing beneath didn’t hide a whole lot, but he figured Eddie had already seen one bruise, and had promised not to ask about the rest, so he didn’t think much could come from getting rid of the heavy, hot garment.

What would come of it, apparently, was Eddie gaping at him, eyes nearly bugging out of his head. Buck felt a sense of shame pool in his stomach, ready to put the shirt back on in another second—he didn’t think the bruises were so bad, but maybe—

“Buck, you’re—you’re ripped.”

What?

“How are you not on the wrestling team with me? Or the lacrosse team, or football, or... something?”

Buck blinked for a moment before he felt blood rush to his face. Oh. Oh. Eddie wasn’t staring because he was disgusted, or horrified, but because he apparently... liked what he saw. From a sportsman perspective. That had to be it. Right. He cleared his throat, willing the pink to die down on his cheeks. “Eddie, are you gonna teach me or what?”

Eddie’s eyes snapped up, wide as dinner plates, voice an active higher as he spoke. “Right!” He cleared his throat, shaking his head as he stepped closer to Buck. “Okay, so, if someone is going to come at you from the front, if they try and throw a punch, you just move the outside of your arm to knock the arm back, and—good.”

Buck didn’t even wait for Eddie to finish speaking, as soon as the hand was up he batted it away with perhaps a bit more force than needed, a thoroughly unimpressed look on his face.

“Okay, but then you need to follow through with a hit when they’re open. See—”

Eddie moved to throw a punch again, slow and painfully obvious, and Buck followed his instructions, pushing it away, and then... not doing anything. Eddie scowled, raising his hand again, and just like before, Buck knocked it away with the inside of his fore arm, trying to focus on the best point to hit to knock the hand away.

“Buck, you have to follow through. Blocking is great but you have to use the opening to hit back.”

Punch- block. Punch- block. Punch- block. Eddie started picking up the tempo, moving around Buck,

“I’m not hitting back, Eddie.”

Yeah, right. Buck hit back, and he’d probably get beaten beyond recognition. Pass.

“I can see that, but you have to. If someone is going to try and hurt you, you have to strike whenever you’re open. One good hit and you can run like hell.”

Punch- block. Punch- block. Where exactly was he supposed to run to? The living room? The kitchen?

“No.”

Eddie gave a quicker shot—still weak, but Buck ducked, pushing the hand away from him. This was actually proving to be pretty useful.

“Look, I get not wanting to hit someone, but you just need to daze them if you’re going to get away.”

“Eddie, I don’t hit back. That’s now how this works.”

“Well why the fuck not—”

“Because it doesn’t fucking matter!” Buck yelled, his tone taking himself by surprise, as did the heat that suddenly burned through his face. “It doesn’t matter if I land a hit or not, it doesn’t matter if I get hurt, as long as he doesn’t hurt anyone else!”

“He?”

The words hung in the air, heavy and dark, and Buck almost swallowed his tongue when he realized what he had said.

“Buck, who did this to you?”

“I have to get to class.”

It was too much. Buck swallowed as he turned around, abandoning his belongings in the locker room as he fled through the gym doors. He didn’t have to run far—thankfully he had his phone and wallet with him, which meant he had a train ticket—and only when he managed to throw himself between the closing doors of the Thorndale line did he manage to breathe again.

He pulled his phone out when the train took off, shooting a quick message to Maddie, asking her to call him out for the rest of his day.

Then he turned off his phone, put his head in his hands, and started to cry.

When Buck came to school the next day, he had his concealer on, and as far as he was concerned, the day before had never happened. He parked in his regular area, locked the doors, and tried not to sigh too heavily when he saw Eddie waiting from him.

He didn’t have it in him for a fight, but Eddie had both his hands up, and that was enough to keep Buck from running again.

For now.

“Look, Buck, I won’t ask details, but.... just tell me, are you okay?” Eddie asked, his voice slow and unsure, and Buck felt a frown creeping over his face in spite of himself.

He tilted his head as he looked Eddie over, brow furrowed. “You really care about me.” A statement, not a question, but Eddie nodded all the same. “Why?”

If the question caught Eddie off guard, he didn’t show it. Instead, he looked away, seemingly chewing over his words as he tried to answer.

"Because you’re worth being cared about, Buck.”

Buck hummed as he considered the answer, acting like it didn’t just rock him to his very core, and sighed as he opened his arms and pulled Eddie into a hug—Eddie seemed surprised, but pleased, and Buck didn’t have to wait long before Eddie was hugging him back, so gently and mindful of Buck’s body that he thought he might start crying again.

“So, it’s not just these rugged good looks?” he mumbled into Eddie’s hair, and Eddie groaned, shaking his head.

“Buck, please.”

“My charming personality?”

“Buck, please.”

Somehow, nothing changed, and everything did.

Eddie didn’t bring up the bruises anymore, possibly because they weren’t visible anymore, but he held himself differently around Buck—instead of grand claps on the back, he tugged at Buck’s elbow, instead of a teasing elbow to the ribs, it was a playful shoulder bump—all, Buck knew, things that Eddie could do without risking aggravating an unseen injury.

Any doubt in his mind that Eddie knew what was going on was dashed almost immediately, when Eddie intentionally steered the conversation in their little friend group (which was mostly the wrestling team, who had decided beyond all reason that Buck was okay) away from family matters. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together, and Buck was sure it was at least a little obvious when you got to know him where the bruises came from, but that was why Buck had been so hesitant to get to know anyone in the first place.

What was new, though, was the hand holding. It started off as Buck being led around, but then Eddie never really let go of his hand. Buck didn’t mind it, even though he felt he should—he was more or less dying for any physical contact that didn’t hurt, an itch he didn’t even know he needed scratched until Eddie showed up. But it was still... weird.

It wasn’t until later on, as Thanksgiving break loomed around the corner, when Eddie let his hand trail over his shoulders while dropping a burrito and chips from the Qdoba off campus did Buck start connecting dots.

Eddie was always a touchy feely guy, and it had only increased as of late.

Eddie had blushed when Buck took off his shirt—and for good reasons, apparently.

And now, Eddie was treating him to lunch.

They were all fine things on their own, but once was an accident, twice a coincidence, and three times, a pattern.

He swallowed his bite of burrito—the perfect order, even though he was sure Eddie had only asked him what he liked once, weeks ago—and derailed whatever train of thought Eddie had going in one fell swoop.

“...but if you look at the—”

“Eddie, are we dating?”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A denial, maybe? Or another blush and topic change?

What he wasn’t expecting was for Eddie to nod his head, his smile a little wider, and then just continue on.

“Anyway, as I was saying—”

“No, hang on. We’re dating? This is like, a lunch date? You bought me lunch, because we’re on a lunch date?”

Eddie’s smile was so soft that Buck instantly felt at ease, even though he knew he was probably asking the dumbest questions of all time. “Yeah Buck, this is a lunch date. I didn’t want you to freak about it, but I knew you’d come to the conclusion eventually.”

Buck hummed as he reached over, stealing one of Eddie’s chips, chewing it thoughtfully before he rose his brow. “Well, this is a pretty nice first date, then.”

He tried not to be offended when Eddie snorted, raising his brow as he met the challenge.

“Buck, this is at least our second or third date. Our last date was me bringing you home to meet my parents.” Eddie said with a smirk, but Buck frowned, shaking his head.

“Wait, Eddie, that was forever ago. What was our first date then?” Buck asked, confusion written all over his face.

Eddie actually blushed—okay, Buck was officially never getting tired of seeing that—as he looked up, humming in a way that was probably meant to be nonchalant but definitely wasn’t. “Oh, uh, well I consider our first date to be the first lunch we had. Um, the one where I made the joke about Ms. Syzmaski’s wrinkly old ass?”

Buck was honestly lucky he had swallowed before Eddie spoke, because that would have been a spittake for sure. “What the fuck about that joke made you think of that as a date?”

Eddie was pink again and Buck had to physically bite his tongue not to goad him about it, but he was steadily getting redder as Buck waited. Finally, Eddie threw up his arms, sighing in defeat as he buried his head in his hands.

“It was... it was the first time I made you laugh, okay? That’s why it was so nice.”

Oh, that was cute. Fuck, that was so cute. Buck could actually feel his resolve start to give way, which was unacceptable on more than one level, and he took a breath as he steadied himself. “I’m not staying.”

Eddie look like he had been punched. “What?”

“I mean it. I’m not staying. As soon as I graduate I’m getting out of this state, hell, this time zone if I can.”

“Buck—“

“I mean it, Eddie, I can’t—can’t stay here. And I like, you, I really like you, but if you’re staying in state, you have to know that I won’t. Not for anything, so if that’s a dealbreaker for you, you should just…”

His lungs ran out of his air as he forgot to breathe, but it was probably for the best, Eddie taking the moment to jump in before Buck could continue freaking out. “Buck, what makes you think I’m staying?”

Buck swallowed, his thoughts completely derailed. “What? You just moved here, why would you be leaving again?”

“The only reason we’re here this year is for my dads work. He has a year long contract, then we’d probably be moving back to Texas, but even then, who knows? No offense, but I have zero urge to stay in this snooty, Ivy-League bullshit state.”

Buck spoke slowly as his brain tried to catch up with what Eddie had said, brow wrinkling in a way that Eddie was definitely going to remember to call cute later on. “So… you’re not planning on staying. And you don’t care if I leave either.”

“No, Jesus. All I want is for you to be happy.”

It probably said a lot about how much that simple statement shocked him, but at this point in his life, he wasn’t sure anything would sit as “normal” for a long time.

“Oh. Well, then, care to explain how we’ve apparently gone on three dates and you haven’t kissed me yet?”

Eddie lit up like a Christmas tree as he scooted forward on the bench, his eyes bright. “Are you sure you’re okay with it? I didn’t want to scare you off or anything—“

“Eddie, if you don’t kiss me right now, I swear I’ll—“

He didn’t get to finish his threat—which was mildly annoying—but the warm pressure of Eddie’s lips against his own drowned out any other objection he thought he may have.

He was almost late to class, his lips bruised in a way he absolutely loved, and he regretted absolutely nothing.

The day before they were due back in school from Winter Break, Buck had been planning on spending the entire day in bed, recuperating from the incessant display of familial togetherness that the holidays usually had brought. Eddie had been his one saving grace—near constant phone calls, texts, and snapchats had been the only thing keeping Buck’s temper low enough to avoid a few new bruises.

And, if the sight of Eddie wearing the simple leather corded necklace that Buck had gotten him for Christmas made his heart beat a little faster whenever he saw it, that was between him and God.

The past three months had been… alarmingly good, if Buck was being honest. If his home life had taught him anything, it was that the other shoe always dropped—so as much as he loved spending time with Eddie, as much as he loved their kisses, and rare dates, and holding hands in the hallway, as much as he honestly, truly thought he could see a life beyond high school with him, he was constantly, constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop.

Which was why, when Eddie called him at one o’clock on a Sunday, Buck let it ring a few times before he gathered himself to answer the phone.

“Hey, are you busy tonight? I want you to come over and meet everyone.”

“What do you mean, meet everyone? I’m pretty sure all of your family knows me by now.” That much was definitely true—Buck had been spending more time at Eddies than his own whenever he could help it, and while there was always someone out on an errand or at work or doing something else, he had participated in enough dinners, family calls, and video chats that he knew more of Eddie’s family than he did his own. “What, you have another set of siblings you’re hiding away from me?”

Eddie’s resounding laugh was a little too loud, a little too tense, just enough to spike Buck’s curiosity without making him fear the worst. He agreed easily after that, asking if he needed to bring anything, and made plans for a few hours later.

When he pulled up to Eddie’s house, though, it was almost unrecognizable. There were streamers tossed through the tree in the front yard, balloons tied to nearly every horizontal surface Eddie could see, and there were enough cars parked out front that Buck had to squeeze in behind a truck and a fire hydrant (and hope that he wouldn’t get a ticket).

As usual, Eddie met him at the door (Buck had teased him once about waiting by the window, and when Eddie blushed and didn’t deny it, Buck had gone in to full hysterical laughter), the obvious nerves he was displaying not enough to dissuade Buck from punching him in the shoulder. “Eddie, what the fuck! Is this a party? You told me not to bring anything, I could have—“

“Oh whatever, I’ll sign your name on my card, calm down.” Eddie said, like he wasn’t the bundle of nerves himself, leaning forward to press a kiss to Buck’s lips (which he accepted, of course, he wasn’t a monster even if he was annoyed). He easily succumbed to the whirlwind of introductions—aunties and uncles and people who were clearly of the Diaz family, and damn, Eddie wasn’t kidding when he told Buck he wanted him to meet everyone. Eddie’s nerves started to hitch back up as they made their way to the backyard, and Buck was about to call him out on whatever it was that was going on when Eddie beat him to the punch.

“Alright, you ready to meet the man of the hour?”

“Only if you’re ready for me to.” Buck said with a hum, smiling as Eddie’s face did some impressive expressive gymnastics. “Eddie, you’re wound like a damn spring. If you don’t want me to meet this person, or any of these people, I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, yeah?” He said, bringing his other hand up to link with Eddie’s as well.

Eddie, to his credit, looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off of his chest, and he beamed as he leaned in to kiss Buck agin. “God, you’re perfect. Have I ever told you that? Well, probably not enough, but it will have to wait, because…” Eddie pushed through the back door and towed Buck along with him, where a circle of chairs were set up around a table stacked high with drinks, snacks, party games, and in the middle of it all—

“…because here’s the birthday boy!”

—was a high chair, fully equipped with a tray table, a soppy cup, and a baby.

A baby.

Buck felt every nerve, every tense minute, every rational thought melt in his body and turn into a warm puddle of goo at the very core of his soul, and his face must have reflected that fact because Buck was vaguely aware of two of Eddie’s sisters laughing at him, but who cared there was a baby and it was the most adorable, pudgy, perfect baby Buck had ever seen.

The baby quickly let out a high pitched squeal as his attention landed on Eddie, smacking his hands against the table in front of him, and Buck could not be held accountable for the noise that he made when Eddie swooped forward and undid the tray, pulling him out of the high chair easily, tucking him into an arm like he was a seasoned pro.

“Buck, this is Chris.”

And now Eddie was walking toward him with the baby, the baby who’s name was Chris, and Buck only waited for the barest hint of a confirmation from Eddie before he moved closer, cooing toward the excited little bean in Eddie’s arms.

“Today is Chris’ first birthday.”

Which, that made sense, he was still so small and pudgy but still so energetic, and Buck nodded along with the rapid fire babbling as he squeezed Chris’ little foot playfully, feeling more proud of anything at the peal of laughter Chris let out at that.

“Chris is my son.”

Well, that made sense, Chris had the same complexion as Buck did, and he was just as quick to smile, and even though his hair was lighter in color it was still thick and wavy, and—

Wait.

His brain caught up with his ears and yanked him out of his baby haze as he looked back up to Eddie, and oh, yeah, there was that nervousness that Buck had felt radiating off of him all afternoon. It seemed to echo around the yard, where there was conversation and laughter just a moment ago, everyone seemed quieter now, hushed, or maybe that was just the rushing in Buck’s ears. Things started fitting into place as Buck thought about it—how he had met all of Eddie’s immediate family, but not at the same time, probably because someone had probably taken Chris out whenever Buck came over. How Eddie so obviously loved his family, but still got a little awkward talking about them at times. Why Eddie had only rarely badgered him about going out after school, because he was spending most of the time himself with his son.

“This is your baby.”

“Yes.”

Oh.

“You’re his father.”

“Yeah.”

Oh.

“Eddie, he’s beautiful.”

Eddie sagged like a puppet with its strings cut, the tension bleeding out of his body, and the smile he shot to Buck was more open and honest than he had ever seen before. He could feel a collective sigh breathed around him as the voices picked back up, apparently approving of Buck’s reaction. “He really is, isn’t he? When he was born last year, his mom wanted to give him up, but… I couldn’t even imagine that. My parents stepped up and really helped me out, we took him home, and it was just… perfect. Like it was meant to be.”

Buck looked up with a smile as Eddie spoke, utterly entrapped in how soft he looked as he held his son, his voice low and slow as to not startle the curious kid safe in his arms. “When my dad took a contract up here, I thought it would be the perfect chance to start over, you know? I wouldn’t give Chris up for anything, but I could tell teachers were going easier on me, boosting my grades, and I didn’t know if it was pity or… whatever. This was the chance for me to prove I could do it. You, uh, you’re the only one outside of my family who even knows.” Eddie said, and Buck had to physically bite his tongue to prevent himself from gushing.

“He’s perfect, Eds. You’re perfect. I’m… I’m really honored you told me.” Buck said easily, leaning forward for another kiss, mindful of the giggling body between them. “But if you think I’m going to let you forget that you told me not to bring anything to your baby sons first birthday, you have another thing coming, I can’t believe you didn’t let me get a gift or something—no, seriously!“

Eddie let out a groan as he leaned forward into Buck’s bickering, the sudden lull in the party long since forgotten as the night carried on.

The other shoe always dropped, though, and Buck 100% blamed himself for not seeing it coming. Hell, he 100% blamed himself for letting it happen. He had become complacent, he had let his guard down, Eddie had wormed his way into Buck’s heart and showed him how good things could be, and Buck had dared to believe him.

Buck had had hope, as stupid as it was, and now, here he was, standing at Eddie’s door, knocking at the wooden frame, begging, pleading for him to open the door—he didn’t realize how much he loved Eddie always meeting him at the threshold until it didn’t happen, until he wasn’t sure if Eddie was going to open the door at all, until he didn’t know what else he could do.

As it was, Eddie wasn’t the one who opened the door. It was Helena, who he had just spent the day with, and the sound she had made when Buck came into view was unholy.

The day had started off so well, too—Eddie and Buck had both been accepted to Texas A&M (while Buck’s pre-acceptance letter had come almost a month ago, he still waited until Eddie received his to even open the envelope), and Eddie’s parents had been so thrilled with him—with both of them—that they had insisted on treating everyone to breakfast before cheering Eddie on at what was likely the last wrestling match of the season (because as great as Eddie was, the team as a whole sucked).

Helena had forced him into a “Team Diaz” shirt, and Buck looked at himself probably a little too long in the mirror, tracing the name over his chest—if anyone noticed, no one said anything, though the smile on Helena’s face told Buck all he needed to know. Eddie, on the other hand, had absolutely lit up when he saw them all in the stands, his gaze lingering a little too long on the word Diaz splayed across Buck’s chest, and the look he gave Buck when they locked eyes again was nothing short of sinful (Buck was glad that he had been put on Chris duty—holding a baby was probably the only way he was able to distract himself from the sight of Eddie in spandex).

So, it didn’t come to a huge surprise when Helena opened the door and let out a sound that would have pushed him over the edge, had Buck not already been crying.

Well… halfway crying. He was only really tearing up in one eye, the other was too swollen to do anything more than squint.

His front was covered in blood, the “Team Diaz” stained red, his lip split and swollen and his cheek covered in bruises. It was probably for the best that his left eye was swollen shut, because blood was leaking around it from a split in his eyebrow, so he probably wouldn’t have been able to see anyway. Beyond the lip and the eye, though, the biggest concern was his nose—he didn’t think it was broken, but it was still sluggishly bleeding, and it just wouldn’t stop.

Helena pulled him into the house and immediately started barking orders (“Adriana, bring Christopher to the nursery and put him in his playpen. Sophia, tell Edmundo to get home right now, his Buck has been hurt. Ramon, give me the first aid kit.”), steering Buck easily to the back yard as the rest of the family scurried around.

By the time Eddie got home, Buck had been mostly cleaned up—or, at least, his nose had stopped bleeding long enough to mop up most of the blood on his face, and Helena had taped the gash on his brow closed with butterfly bandages, and had a cold compress pressed against his face. Eddie looked wild, his eyes wide and face unforgiving as he kneeled next to Buck, and if Buck had any tears left in his body he probably would have started crying again as Eddie cupped the uninjured side of his face.

Buck knew that Eddie was trying to find words, but he also knew there were a hundred wrong things to say at that moment, so he took the step for both of them.

“My dad found out about us.” There was no sense in sugar coating it, no sense in leaving the bandaid on too long, he just had to rip it off so they could move on. “Apparently he didn’t much like the idea of his son not carrying on the family name, he… didn’t take it well.”

Eddie let out a sound that could only be described as someone breaking, and Buck blindly reached for his hand, feeling something burn through his chest, deciding then and there that he wouldn’t let another ounce of his father hurt Eddie the way it had hurt him. “But you were right. One block, one hit, all I needed to get away.” His tone had soured into something dark and sticky, good eye burning as he remembered Eddie’s little self defense lesson, all those months ago. He could tell the moment that Eddie’s mind reached the same conclusion, and he scrambled to look at Buck’s hands—there were some bruising around his right knuckles, but that was it.

One punch, that was all he needed.

One punch, and just like that, he had left everything behind—his phone, his car, his father bleeding from what Buck could only hope was a broken nose, coughing and sputtering on the entryway floor. The only thing he had on him was his wallet and his hoodie, and even the latter was tossed into the trashcan as he got off the train, too thoroughly wet with blood to be of any good at keeping him warm.

Instinctively, he had gotten off the train and trusted his feet to take him somewhere he knew he would be safe. He had finally realized that that place would never be with his family, would never be his house. His house would never be his home.

“Eddie…” Buck started, his voice thick with emotion. “Eddie, I… I don’t want to go back. I never want to see them, ever again. I’ll call up Maddie, I’ll… I’ll do something, but I can’t go back there, ever.”

Eddie looked like his heart was breaking; but before he could open his mouth and tell Buck off for considering going anywhere else, Helena spoke again.

“You will do no such thing.”

Her voice soft but hard as steel, leaving no room for argument, and Buck looked at her with pleading eyes (well, eye) as she shook her head.

“You will not be going back there. I have half a mind to drive over there right now and—no. I will do everything I can to make sure you never have to see them again.”

Buck could feel himself sag in relief, a breath he didn’t know he had been holding coming out ragged and raw, even as Helena continued.

“And Buck, I don’t know Maddie, and I’m sure she would be happy to help you out however she could, but. I would never let another Diaz out onto the street. Never in my life.” She said, and Buck had to swallow when he realized who she was talking about.

They considered him a Diaz?

“So if you would really be happier, or safer, we can get in the car and I’ll bring you to your sister tonight, but it’s just a few months until you and Edmundo leave for college anyway, and—“

“Please stay. Please. God, Buck, please, at least stay with us until you heal up a little. Please.” Eddie had apparently had enough of his mothers talking in circles, his voice shaking as he spoke, and Buck’s shock must have shown on his face because Eddie looked like he was going to start crying again.

They really considered him a Diaz.

He wanted to question it, to object, to do anything to prevent himself from being in their hair, but just like it was the first time they had lunch together, Eddie had worked his way too far past Buck’s defenses, and apparently, he had brought his whole family with him.

Buck barely had to nod before Eddie had him wrapped up in his arms, tight, and Buck returned the favor easily, seamlessly, his head buried in Eddie’s neck like he belonged there.

The thought resonated as Helena went back inside, letting the two of them have their moment; though, just a moment, announcing that it would be a lovely night to have dinner outside on the patio. It bounced around his head as Eddie kissed his cheek when they passed each other with plates and glasses, setting the table beneath the string lights in the yard, the spot on his cheek tingling long after the contact had broken. It took root when Buck found himself laughing, sitting easier in his own skin than he had ever done before as Eddie tried to justify whatever foolish thing he had done in Ramon’s story, failing miserably, his hand laced tightly with Buck’s beneath the table.

Maybe this was where he belonged.

For the first time in years, Buck saw something that was worth holding on for, that was worth keeping and protecting and letting grow.

For the first time, he had hope.

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #buddiefic #911fic #highschool au #christopher diaz #tw: abuse #flospeaks #8k #fic #god this got long #I don't know if I like it but I needed it to be out of my brain so #there you go #mutually assured devotion

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somedayonbroadway · 5 years ago

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Okokokokok High School Musical AU pretty please with a cherry on top?

Hahahahahahaha YES

Okay, so…

Characters-

Jack Kelly — Troy Bolton

Katherine Plumber — Gabrielle

Medda Larkin — Ms. Darbus

Spot Conlon — Chad

Crutchie Morris — Kelsie

Racetrack Higgins — Taylor

William Snyder — Jack Bolton (only sort of)

Albert DaSilva — Zeke

Finch — Jason

Sarah Jacobs — Sharpay Evans

David Jacobs — Ryan Evans

I know… it’s a bit of an odd list. But like… go with me on this.

Over Winter break, on New Years Eve, Jack and Katherine meet at a ski lodge. Katherine went with her family. Her father, her mother and his older sister. Jack is up there after running away from his foster home and trying to get in contact with his birth mother who just recently got out of prison. He believes she’ll be at this party.

They both end up at a party. Jack has a hood pulled up over his head to try and hide. The cops are looking for him by then. Snyder’s pissed. Katherine is with her father, talking about school.

The karaoke machine gets set up. Jack is trying to get out of the room because he’s scared of getting caught and Katherine is minding her own business.

But they happen to be the two random people pulled from the crowd and dragged on stage. Jack tried to get away, barely stopping himself from punching someone in the nose. And Katherine shyly tries to tell them no thank you, but they both end up there and catch sight of one another. And they freeze.

Jack tries to leave again, now not wanting to embarrass himself in front of this pretty girl who just stops him by saying she’s willing if he’s willing.

And they end up singing together for the first time. And they actually sound really good together.

After they’re finished, Jack catches sight of some of the cops again and he bolts, only for Katherine to follow him outside and ask him what was wrong. He plays it off. Says it’s nothing. And she lets it go.

They end up exchanging phone numbers on the balcony. And they come so close to kissing when the ball drops.

But Jack has to run.

A couple weeks later…

It’s the first day back at school after the break. Jack is happy to have something to do rather than sneak out of his home and avoid his foster father, a Mr. William Snyder. He’s been in this home for about a year on his own.

Snyder and him don’t necessarily get along.

Anyways, Jack is stoked about seeing his friends again. He’s on the football team. The quarterback. And his teammates all very much look up to him. His coach, Mr. Todd Kloppman, adores him and wants him to get a scholarship with his skills. And Jack has his mind set on that.

Snyder didn’t want to let him play sports to begin with. But Jack told him it was the only way for him to get into college. So Snyder let him.

It’s Jack’s escape from that house.

In homeroom, after meeting up with his best friend Spot Conlon who also happens to be in that class, Jack spots a familiar face.

Katherine.

She sees him too and smiles at him. She looks nervous.

He moves to sit by her and talk to her a little. She admits she just moved to Manhattan from Chicago and just got transferred into Roosevelt High School. Jack offers to show her around and she accepts.

Spot gives Jack a look and Jack ignores him. Spot loves to tease him.

While Jack is showing Katherine around, she quickly starts to learn that this school has very tight cliques.

One of them being the drama kids.

As they walk by the theatre, Katherine sees that there’s a sign up for auditions for the next school musical and she jokes that her and Jack should sign up because they made such a good team up at the ski lodge. Jack laughs.

And in comes the Ice Princess.

Sarah Jacobs.

She is the queen of the school, pretty much. Pretty, rich and popular. She’s an amazing singer, trained in music, dance and acting as well as starting her own fashion business. (I know she is very different from the Sarah Jacobs we know, but come on, she’s gonna slay).

Sarah and her twin brother, equally as talented, equally as rich, but not quite as popular, David Jacobs, are walking over to sign up for auditions. That’s where Katherine and Sarah meet for the first time.

Sarah, the queen that she is, pushes past Katherine to sign up, signing the whole sheet before she turns around to say hi to Jack, who she believes she is destined to be with until the end of time. Jack does not feel the same way. But she tries to subtly tell Kath to get away from her “property” (i know it’s not mean girls but you can’t tell me Sharpay wasn’t based off of Regina George in some ways). Katherine doesn’t take the threat too seriously, as she is a nice, easy going person.

David is in the background. He has a slight crush on Jack, but would never act on it because he knows Sarah is basically in love with the guy.

(Tangent. Y’all can’t tell me Ryan wasn’t supposed to be gay in the first movie. He 👏🏻 was 👏🏻 totally 👏🏻 gay👏🏻, but Disney was too scared to own up to it)

Anyways,

Jack continues to show Kath around the school as Sarah hatches her master plan to keep Katherine out of the drama clique. She goes to Race, honor student on his way to being valedictorian, and tells him about Katherine. Race does a little digging and finds out that Katherine is wicked smart and recruits her for the Scholastic Decathlon, catching her and Jack in the halls at their next break.

Race rushes up to them and tries to talk to Katherine but ends up seeing Jack and says something sarcastic instead and he and Jack get into a small argument that Katherine can’t quite follow. She tries to defend Jack but Race says she doesn’t know him well enough yet. Katherine asks what Jack did to this kid who seems to be at least two years younger than them. Jack said he didn’t do anything to him.

His little brother just loves to fight.

Race just glares at him and says something like “you know what you did” and then turns his attention back to Katherine, officially inviting her into the “brainiac” clique.

She does join. But at that moment she just says she’ll think about it.

Then she asks Jack a little about Race. He admits that Race is his half brother and he lives with a foster family on the other side of town while he lives with his foster dad just down the street. She asks why they don’t live together and Jack tells her that it’s a long story. But eventually he tells her that since Race showed signs of being really smart at such a young age, it was decided that he needed to be placed with folks who would cater to his needs better while Jack was just normal.

The family’s that were willing to foster Race never wanted to take in two kids. So the system split them up.

Jack says this in fewer words. But Katherine figures it out.

Katherine takes Race up on his offer, finding out that Race is set to graduate the same year as Jack.

Later, while Jack is at football practice, he’s having an extremely hard time focusing as this girl has just come into his life and made him think about things he’d never thought about before. Like, how he might want to ask Katherine out on a date or how he enjoyed singing with her or how everyone had a specific thing they were expected to do, but what about other things?

His teammates don’t appreciate his inability to focus and wrestle with him a little, just playfully, to try and help him get back into the game.

He loves his teammates.

Later, after practice, Jack is the last one in the locker room where Race comes in and drops him off and bagged lunch. He tells Jack that he wasn’t hungry at lunch. And Jack just hugs him for a second before asking him if he’d seen Katherine around.

Race teases him for a minute before Jack asks him if he wants a soaking. So Race tells Jack that Katherine went to the auditorium. And he gives Race a kiss on the head before he goes to find her.

When he gets there, he sees Sarah and David auditioning. Katherine is standing in the back of the other side of the theatre. They see each other but make no move to get closer. Instead, they watch the amusing but well done audition of their classmates.

Sarah and David are obviously both talented, but Sarah is obsessed with having the spotlight while David is very creative and does love to try new things and welcomes change.

The audition process is finishing up. Jack does not miss the way Sarah hisses at Charlie, the innocent pianist on her way out. He just tried to put in his thoughts on how his song should be performed.

He’s a composer and student director of the band.

Miss Medda, the drama teacher, asks if there’s any more auditions. Charlie says he doesn’t think so and no one else speaks up.

So Medda goes to leave.

Katherine is standing in the back, unsure of what to do. But eventually, she speaks up. She says she wants to audition.

Medda tells her that it’s too late and that she’ll need to come back for the next production.

Jack gives her a sorry look.

And Katherine just shrugs, willing to accept that. But as they both go to go their separate ways, Charlie trips up on stage, setting one of his crutches down on a misplaced prop. Without even thinking about it, both of them rush up to help him.

And he thanks them as he pulls himself back to the piano. And tried to get his things back in order. He apologizes to them for not being able to audition. Jack says he wasn't going to, that he wasn’t good enough for that anyways. And Kath and Charlie both don’t believe him. So Charlie starts to play the audition song, telling them that Sarah and David sang it in a way that didn’t quite capture the meaning behind it.

The song is I Never Planned On You/Don’t Come A’ Knockin’. Because it can be.

Katherine and Jack sing the song easily. Katherine admits she used to love to sing and her fatherhad taught her violin. Jack admits he used to play the piano with his mom and his little brother and THATS WHY THEY CAN READ MUSIC BECAUSE ITS NOT THAT EASY TROY AND GABRIELLA.

Anyways…

Before Charlie can even say anything, Miss Medda is clapping for them and telling them that they better find themselves at callbacks the next day.

Katherine is excited.

Jack is terrified.

Jack goes home to an empty house. He eats the food his brother gave him and does his homework and goes to bed. When he hears the door open, he pretends to be asleep.

Snyder’s drunk again.

The next morning, Jack sneaks out through the window and goes to school.

When he gets there he finds that the callback list was posted. And he tries to walk the other way. But Spot catches up to him.

He teases Jack, expecting it to be some kind of joke. But Jack just rolls his eyes and Spot asks him if he’s serious. Before Jack can answer, Race rushes up to him and jumps on his back and teases him too.

Jack admits he hadn’t meant to audition. He’d just been screwing around.

Katherine tries to defend him but his friends still tell him that he wasn’t supposed to do drama. That he was an athlete and that he didn’t have time and that it was weird for him to want to sing and dance.

But Katherine says that she loved to sing and dance and she was a straight A student and she had played soccer at her old school.

And these kids would be amazed.

People would start admitting things. Things that no one knew.

Albert loved to bake.

Finch likes to dance.

Other things happen.

Spot is concerned by this. He needs Jack to focus on the playoffs that are coming up. Jacks the quarterback. He has too much of a responsibility.

He tries to enlist Race’s help. Race is hesitant, not wanting to upset his brother. But Spot convinces him it’s for the best.

They both hold somewhat of an intervention for their friends where Spot gets Jack to admit that he doesn’t think the audition is important and that Katherine couldn’t come between him and his team.

It’s not what he means. He means that if Snyder found out he was auditioning for musicals and pining after some pretty girl he’d get the living hell beat out of him.

But he can’t just say that.

He doesn’t know he’s being recorded.

Race shows Katherine the tape and immediately feels guilty.

He calls Spot and tries to tell him they made a mistake after Katherine tells him that auditioning in the first place was stupid.

Jack doesn’t understand why Katherine suddenly wants to back out when he goes to see Race after school. And Race gives him a sorry look. So Jack convinces Katherine to do it again and promises her that he’ll do it with her if that’ll be what makes her happy. And he sends her off to Charlie while he talks to Race.

Race is shocked and asks Jack if he would even be allowed. Jack would tell him not to worry about it and Race would just hug him for a minute, telling Jack that the family he was with was thinking about fully adopting him.

It would break Jack’s heart. But he’d try to tell Race that that was really good, that he should be happy. Race wouldn’t think so. He’d say that he didn’t want to belong to someone else. That he was fine exactly where he was and that he’d rather move in with Jack when Jack turned eighteen.

Jack would tell him that everything would be okay. That it would all work out for the best.

And then he’d tell Race to get him while he went to rehearse with Katherine.

Sarah would overhear Jack and Katherine rehearsing. So she’d go to Miss Medda and convince her to move callbacks to the day of Jack’s big game and Kath’s competition.

Charlie, the little genius, overhears this conversation and immediately starts to form a plan, enlisting the help of Race and Spot.

Race and Katherine hack into the school electrical system and mess with the power on the football field. They also cause a chemical reaction at their own competition, forcing an evacuation.

Jack and Katherine rush to callbacks with their friends right behind them and they get up on stage.

Katherine freezes, looking at Jack and shaking her head, silently telling him how scared she was. But Jack just takes her hand and starts singing.

And they get through it. (Something To Believe In).

Medda gives them the part and gives Sarah and David their understudies. David congratulates them. Sarah is pissed.

Everyone goes to watch the football team win after that. And Jack and Katherine kiss for the first time.

Spot admits to Race that he’s got a secret too. Then he proceeds to ask Race out.

And Jack sees it happen.

But he doesn’t say anything.

He goes home that day happy.

Snyder however, is not quite so happy.

When Jack gets home he’s almost immediately thrown against a wall. Snyder is tipsy at that point. He’s angry. He wants to know why Jack was out so late. Jack says he had a game. Snyder doesn’t believe it. So Jack admits he was with his friends.

And Snyder just hits him.

It happens every now and then when Snyder’s not completely forgetting that he exists. Snyder needed some extra cash. He hates that he has a kid living with him. Jack can deal with it every once in a while.

What he hates is being locked in the basement closet.

And Snyder knows that.

He locks Jack in and leaves him. And Jack cries for a minute before he can think to call his little brother with the phone that Snyder forgot he had.

And Race brings Spot and the cops with him to get Jack out.

Race and Spot get there first. Spot holds off Snyder so Race can get Jack out of the closet and Race holds Jack for a minute until Spot runs down with the cops. They try to talk to Jack and take him upstairs.

Before he goes with them, he tells Spot that if he hurts his brother, he’ll kill him. And Race can’t help but laugh.

They arrest Snyder and Race admits that his foster family found out they’re going to have their own baby. And they wouldn’t have room for him anymore.

The brothers are relocated. This time together. To a home of one Miss Medda where they find out Charlie is her adopted son.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Or, at least, survived the school year.

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alanncs · 5 years ago

Text

hi my angels ! my name’s dani , i’m from toronto ontario aka best city in the worldt , & i’m 20 ! i’m the kelsey m on the main & i can’t tell u how excited i am to have wealthy up n running again ! i literally can’t wait to plot with all you beautiful peoples , so pls like this & i’ll slide in the dms , otherwise u can also hit me up on discord 𝒎𝒈𝒌'𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒆 .#1958 !! i’m gonna put all you need 2 know about alanna below aaand i hope y’all like her ! <3

new york’s very own alanna d'alessio was spotted on broadway street in gucci bee sneakers . your resemblance to hailey baldwin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being reticent , but also gracious . i guess being a scorpio explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be anything pink , the lingering smell of weed , and a cigarette between her fingers . & ( cisfemale & she/her ) + ( dani , 20 , she/her , est . )

* / 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠 .

full name : alanna marie d’alessio .

age : twenty - one .

hometown : new york city .

zodiac chart : scorpio sun , aquarius moon , libra rising .

character inspo : alyssa ( the end of the f*cking world ) , marissa cooper ( the o.c ) , hanna marin ( pretty little liars ) .

* / 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 !! tw : kidnapping , ransom , drugs

alanna was born heir to the d'alessio family which came with the billion dollar dynasty that her parents created .

her dad is an italian government official but they grew up in ny basically bc her dad is an ambassador/representative for italy & her mother is a super model who also wanted to raise her kids here having lived here her whole life , and so they did .

she had everything handed to her on a silver platter and her parents expected nothing but success from her because of how wealthy they were, they knew they would never have to worry about providing for her and her siblings , and so they spoiled her with whatever she asked for and more

but that came with a price, she was expected to do everything they wanted of her, go to an ivy league college, follow in one of her parent’s career footsteps

alanna did just that, she got amazing grades in high school and was head of many student clubs, organized prom, got almost perfect on sat’s and exams, and busted her ass to get into a good college despite the fact that her parents could’ve easily gotten her a spot if she didn’t do as well as she did

her life was going so well, she had the perfect boyfriend, perfect group of friends, was on her way to brown university in a couple of months, her parents and her couldn’t have been in a better spot with their daughter

the last thing they expected was for someone, a stranger, to get their hands on their daughter . a week after her 18th birthday , she’s walking to school on a monday morning and before she knows what’s happening , there’s something over her head and she’s being dragged into a van and taken from her life

the one thing that was expected, was the $10 million ransom she was held for

basically her dad had some shady dealings with the italian mob & didn’t pay his debts to them for some time - so they kidnapped alanna in retaliation for that

they kept her for 3 days before her parents were able to work with the authorities to get her returned and pay the people in full

surprisingly, she was returned alive but she had to spend two weeks in the hospital afterwards with injuries

once alanna was returned, she wasn’t the same

she told the police what happened to her , but only barely . she didn’t tell her parents or anyone else about what they did to her when she was gone .

she didn’t speak , eat or sleep for two months after she got home

she spent the last few months of her high school in bed, she didn’t attend her graduation, deferred from going to brown in the fall, she didn’t see her friends anymore and she broke up with her boyfriend

the people who took her were never caught & she is still to this day completely terrified of going anywhere alone

she never walks anywhere alone

it took her months to be able to get back to doing normal things again and being who she was before

to this day , alanna still struggles with the memories and the ptsd from what happened to her , but she doesn’t speak to anyone about it and she refuses to bring it up in any scenario

she also has a horrible relationship with her father now , having trouble forgiving him for what happened to her

some people know about it as obviously, being as famous as her family is, it was on the news at the time, and everyone she went to high school with knew what happened so sometimes it can be hard to avoid it

she wants to forget - here comes her secret - she got into drugs after the kidnapping and it quickly spiraled out of control , now she can’t seem to function without them because they’re the only thing that make her feel normal and make the memories fade

anything she can get her hands on rly

but the media think she’s an angel , her reputation has been kept p much pristine her whole life . and her parents have no clue how much she’s struggling or how much she’s changed . so if this were to come out , it would tarnish not only alanna’s reputation but her family’s as well

* / 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 !!

after deferring from brown , alanna knew she had to find some way to keep herself occupied and make money , even though she could live off her parents for however long she wanted

alanna wants to be . miss independent .

so she started getting into modelling , bc of her mom it was easy for her to book gigs

she was able to book gigs like adidas , guess , calvin klein etc !

so that was super exciting for her bc she got really into it and enjoyed doing it sm

she started acting about a year ago - started off in a few movies , & now she’s currently starring in a netflix series - smth similiar to elite or on my block !

oko so in high school alanna was super bubbly , and just like the really overly nice girl that would talk to literally every 1

but it worked for her bc she was voted prom queen and valedictorian ! even tho she missed graduation . yike

Anyway now ! she is not v much like that anymore , except when she’s super high .

since her kidnapping alanna has been closed off and aloof . in general , she’s not as talkative

she says what she thinks but it usually comes in one word mumbles

can sometimes b very entertaining . she’s kinda like paris hilton a little bit

also think Marissa from the oc !!

call her a spoiled brat she’s gonna be like “ yah… and ?”

she can be very selfish to a fault in certain situations

and very defensive if she feels attacked, judged , put into a corner , physically cornered , etc

she’s a hopeless romantic at heart and dreams of having an epic love story

but she has Hella trust issues which easily lead to commitment issues for her so … she will cheat “by accident” lol

that’s why she tries to steer clear of relationships but she also has such a big heart she falls in love 5 times a day sffsdkj

also w how much this girl can sleep around it’s not happening any Time soon 4 her ! she enjoys being single a lot

Bc she likes to get wild

shes like nicole richie on the simple life when she’s partying lmao

like she likes 2 fuck with ppl sometimes lol , like she will flirt w anyone and everyone just cus she’s bored

umm she lives in sweatpants n crop tops !

her hair is either in a bun or just down , she’s rly lazy when it comes to hair and makeup . like if her makeups done someone else did it lol

Unless she’s like fully in the mood

ooverall she’s a rly sweet lil bean whos just scared of humans ! :’(

um ya idk im always developing her but IF U read all this ilysm !

here’s her pinterest board for more of an idea !

* / 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 !!

EVERYTHING ! here is a link to my wc page & a link to my wc TAG which are both full of ideas so msg me & i’ll throw tons of ideas at u <333 let’s do it i luv plotting sm okay

#tw drugs #tw kidnapping #wealthyhq:intro #hehehe <3

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ftaramintas · 5 years ago

Text

hi friends ! i’m koa and every time you see miss jennie kim on your dash , then you’ll be greeted with the strong presence that is araminta park ! you are absolutely correct if you know i got her name from the beautiful araminta lee from crazy rich asians , and that’s that on that .

i use emojis way too much in conversations , specifically my favorites exhibit a. 🥺 , b. 🥴 , c. 🤠 , and d. 🤪 . i talk too much sometimes and i don’t find that to be a bad thing , but right now i’m listening to itzy’s new album on loop , so make sure you’re streaming wannabe or we’re gonna fight ! i’m just kidding , but without further ado , here’s everything you need to know about araminta !

statistics .

FULL NAME : araminta josephine park .

NICKNAME(S) : ari , minta , and minnie ( by her parents only ) .

BIRTHDATE / AGE : july 25th , 1997 / 23 .

ZODIAC : leo .

HOMETOWN : manhattan , new york .

GENDER : cis female .

NATIONALITY : korean - american .

ETHNICITY : korean .

HEIGHT : 5′4″ .

LABEL(S) : the queen bee , the studious , and the opulent .

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic .

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual .

OCCUPATION : architecture student at steinhardt university .

HOUSING : perry hall .

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : korean , english , french , and learning portuguese .

POSITIVES : bewitching , regiment , decorous , methodical , and distinguished .

NEGATIVES : unvarnished , zealous , cavalier , hard - hearted , and priggish .

background .

araminta’s story begins with the fateful meeting of her parents , kim seo - yeon and park dong - wook , on a cold winter’s day . they found themselves at the tender ages of 20 and 22 , attending a boring christmas gala with their parents when they would have preferred to do anything else in the world . seo - yeon was a women who knew what she wanted the moment her eyes landed upon it , so when she made brief eye contact with dong - wook , she purposefully spilled a glass of champagne onto his expensive tom ford suit and made a big deal of it . this sparked their whirlwind romance , and six months later they found themselves announcing their engagement to korean media outlets .

despite how quickly they were engaged , their parents saw this as mutually beneficial . seo - yeon is the youngest daughter of the wealthy kim family , owners of the kq group conglomerate that was worth billions in its own right . dong - wook was the only child of his parents , and came from park family lineage where their hotels and resorts were the cause of their fortune . the families were soon to be one , and the couple was the chaebol heirs that others envied . following their lavish wedding , seo - yeon and dong - wook decided that they were going to head off to manhattan to make a life for themselves . so , they transferred to columbia university , finished their schooling , and shortly after seo - yeon’s graduation from the financial economics program , the couple discovered that they were expecting .

it was a sticky summer day when seo - yeon unexpectedly gave birth to their daughter , who decided not to allow her parents time to get to the hospital . araminta was born in the bathtub of her parents’ luxury bathroom , and right into the arms of her slightly panicked but overjoyed father . from the time that she was a toddler , araminta was a very precocious child , picking up on skills quite quickly and speaking in few short sentences by the time she was eleven months old . as she grew older , araminta’s parents remained hands on despite their busy schedules , and decided that they would see what their daughter would have the most interest in . when she was four , her parents began piano lessons , and it was evident that she had a natural gift for the instrument .

years continued to pass , and araminta was always a top student in both academics and her extracurriculars . as she attended the very best schools in new york city , araminta was usually the first to answer questions , the first to sign up , and the first to complete her tests . she was the recipient of various awards throughout the years , whether it be honor roll or due to her participation in various student organizations . by the time she reaches high school , araminta is on the fast track to attending the college of her choice . this is also the time where she discovers her love for both dance and volleyball . honestly , she tried out for the dance team at her high school on a whim , and immediately fell in love with it . volleyball is her main love , and she keeps up with dance because she gets to have fun and it helps to keep her in shape .

araminta was accepted into steinhardt university during her junior year because she was absolutely the girl who took her sat during sophomore year because she wanted to get it out of the way ! so , she went through her last two years of high school not stressing over college ( and honestly i think about that scene from mean girls where everyone’s freaking out because of the burn book and regina is just standing there JNFDFHD ) . during the first semester of college at steinhardt , though , araminta was dealt a heavy blow when she discovered that her parents were separating .

they weren’t arguing a lot or anything , but they simply didn’t want to be married anymore / the relationship lost its spark , so they figured it’d be best to end their relationship . during that time , it was really hard for araminta to understand because she didn’t want her family to be broken , but as the years passed , she began to understand why they decided to end their relationship . at steinhardt , araminta is an architecture major and it’s entirely due to the fact that she wants to someday take over her father’s position as ceo of the hotel / resort company that his family owns . she’s the captain of the dance team and the right side hitter on the volleyball team !

headcanons .

definitely plans on going to graduate school once she’s graduated , and more than likely will get a degree in business !

as mentioned , she currently resides in perry hall . when it comes to the decor of her room , i’d say it’s pretty minimal with muted tones , but there’s definitely some soft pinks scattered about ! really likes having gold as an accent color ( cannot stand the marble trend ) and everything has a place !

she never leaves her dorm without making the bed or putting away dishes from breakfast / lunch . it’s mostly because she usually gets back home really late so the last thing she wants to do is have to clean before bed .

studies a lot , studies late , and studies hard . if she were to have a studygram ( yes , that’s absolutely a thing ) it would be the most aesthetically pleasing instagram on the planet . probably only uses these heavy gold pens modeled after the ones her father uses with her name engraved on it .

araminta is full on the girl who does not show up to class in sweatpants and a hoodie . i draw a lot of her style inspiration from itsyuyan on instagram and jennie’s own style . the only time she’ll ever be casual is during those trips to the library or when she’s lounging at home , and even then she’s probably wearing jeans and a tee / sweater or a coordinated pajama set .

i know jennie has since cut her hair , but araminta’s hair is long ! specifically , her hair is waist length . she drives a white mercedes glc where she’s usually taking selfies lmao but her parents got her that car because it’s #safe and honestly she barely even drives the thing unless she’s going grocery shopping or making the trip back home .

personality .

oh boys , where do i even begin with this brat !

to quote that tik tok song : i’m a bitch , i’m a boss . araminta works very hard despite misconceptions that she has everything handed to her because of her family’s wealth . she can be very prideful of all of her accomplishments at times , but definitely will let them do the talking instead of being the type to bring them up in every conversation .

she’s nice to who she wants to be nice to , and sometimes she’ll be the very opposite of nice . she can complain a lot sometimes , especially when she’s doing something that she wasn’t want to .

will respond to attitudes with the same energy and she will take no prisoners .

she is and will remain as #1 in her program ( valedictorian ) and will do whatever it takes to remain in such spot . she’s wildly ambitious mostly stemming from her father being the same way , so she’ll step on toes and sink her nails in in order to get what she believes is hers .

crazy charming , and usually it only takes her flashing a smile in order to get what she wants . however since she’s pretty full of herself that can be a real turn off to others who don’t care about the luxuries that can afford .

desired relations .

i would love to have almost any and everything . first , some basics that i’d love to have are as follows : former roommates , best friends , academic rivals , friends with benefits , confidant(s) , frenemies , good / bad influence , one night stand(s) , flirtationship , enemies with benefits , and a current or ex fling !

i’ve been drinking my women loving women juice recently and i’d love for her to have an ex gf ? i really feel that they ended on good terms like they might have simply drifted apart , but they remain really good friends ? there’s probably even a sprinkle of them being confidants to one another , but give me this or give me death .

i would die for literally any form of angst that you could possibly think of ? angsty friends , angsty exes , angsty anything . i love to put myself through misery so honestly ... bury me six feet under and i will literally thank you .

all aboard the heartbreak train ! this ties back into my love for angst , but some form of an ex or maybe even someone who she go close to but it didn’t really work out ? maybe even a will they won’t they ? but essentially , clearly these two have feelings but for some reason things didn’t work out for them and now they’re probably in a limbo or trying to determine where they’re headed but they absolutely refuse to talk about it ! all of their friends notice but they blow them off and ok let me relax and actually allow us to plot , but just some potential ideas !

i will have a desired relations tag that i’ll be updating as frequently as i can , but if none of these work for you or if you have something you see araminta filling , then please let me know ! we can totally brainstorm or if you want , then we can work on chemistry !

#steinhardt:intro #this is really long even without her bio i'm CRYING

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queerchoicesblog · 6 years ago

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Wedding Photos (TF Series, Kaitlyn x MC)

So, lovelies, I start the Choices March Challenge (hosted by the one and only @meeraaverywalker ❤️) with a Kaitlyn x MC fanfic requested by @marmolady : hope you won’t be disappointed, darling!

I’m not sure I’m good at writing weddings so I tried to convey the atmosphere of that very special day through “photographs” and cameos of the TF series characters (which I kinda miss!).

So years later their graduation, Hayley (MC) and Kaitlyn reminisce their wedding day...in the company of a little new “companion”!

Prompt: Wedding(s)

Word Count: 1462

Perma tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @psychopathdreamer21 @abunchofbadchoices @bbaba-yagaa @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @melodyofgraves @bhavf

Kaitlyn Tag: @zoe6111

___________________________

“Mommy what this?”

Lily asked out of the blue. The cute little Chinese girl Hayley and Kaitlyn adopted a couple of years ago was sitting on the couch beside one of her moms. She kept playing with Hayley’ s hair while the writer was reading the draft of a new project. The little girl eyes were caught by a photo album opened on the small table nearby so she reached for it with her tiny hands.

“Hmm?” Hayley said absentmindedly before noticing what Lily was up to. She immediately dropped her draft and helped the little one with the album.

“Hold on, love, let me help you with this! It’s heavy, huh?”

“Yep heavy!” Lily giggled as Hayley adjusted the album on her lap and put an arm around her little shoulders.

“Do you know what’s this, Lily? How is it called?”

“Abum!” the little girl cheered.

“It’s an album, yeah! And who are those girls?” Hayley asked pointing to a photo of her and Kaitlyn posing for the camera in their wedding dresses and barely containing their happiness.

Lily furrowed her brows as she concentrated to find the answer. The look on her face was so adorable that her mom felt the urge to plant a tender kiss on her cheek.

“Mommies! They’re mommies??” the little girl gaped in awe when the realization struck and a huge smile formed on her lips.

“That’s right, love!” Hayley confirmed in the softest tone.

At that very moment, Kaitlyn made her way into the living room.

“Straight from the kitchen a yummy bowl of perfectly sliced fresh fruit for baobei!” she announced triumphantly, taking a seat on the couch too.

Lily cheered and started bumping up and down.

“I bet she’s waiting for your fruit song, Kait” Hayley giggled.

“No fruit song now, Lily hungry!”

And she almost pounced over Kaitlyn to grab a strawberry.

“Hey, hold your horses, cowboy” Kaitlyn laughed “See? Momma got a spoon...” she added feeding Lily.

That’s when she noticed the album on Hayley’s lap.

“Oh sorry I forgot about it, I was just having a look and-”

“Aww did you miss me that much when I was at the Montreal Book Fair last week?”

Kaitlyn smiled apologetically.

“I always miss you when you’re not around, Hayley”.

She tried to lean closer to her wife but Lilly shrieked excitedly pointing to the album.

“Nana Maueen!”

The photo she was looking at portrayed Maureen smiling and lifting a rainbow cocktail to the camera.

“Indeed she is, baobei!” Hayley chuckled “If I remember well she even had a couple of those! And where are the other-”

“Papa Steph!” Lily pointed to a shot of Hayley’s dad wiping away a tear. “But...papa sad? Why?”

“Oh no, he wasn’t sad, sweetie!” Kaitlyn corrected her “Sometimes you can cry because you’re so happy too. Like...like when someone tickles you or when momma is back and you hug her tight because you missed her so much!”

Lily nodded and turned back to the album, chewing one of her beloved strawberries. Kaitlyn turned to Hayley:

“Talking of tears, it’s so weird that we haven’t one with my dad crying! He cried so much that day”

“Oh and I remember we shedded our fair amount of happy tears too! My voice kept cracking as I pronounced my vow”

“Awww you were so freaking cute, you made me cry too! A match made in Heaven!”

“Nana Grace and Papa Peter” Lily interrupted them when she spotted a picture of them posing with a younger Kaitlyn.

“They coming? Tomorrow?” she added expectantly.

“Next week, baby, they’re coming next week!” Hayley answered, stroking her daughter’s back and letting her bright eyes drift to the album once more.

As Kaitlyn and Lily leafed through its pages, all the memories of that day in Northbridge, almost a year after their graduation, came back to her: the butterflies in her stomach when her mom woke her up that morning, the soft and proud look her father gave her as he offered her his arm, the big hug Grace pulled her in as she spotted her...and the joy and the love she felt bursting inside her chest as she stood beside Kaitlyn. She absentmindedly stroke her wedding ring with her thumb as she reminisced the moment when she finally kissed her wife. From that day on Hayley took the habit to leave notes to Kaitlyn with the sappy rhyme “To my wife, the love of my life”.

When she snapped out of her own train of thoughts, she looked at Kaitlyn and Lily giggling over a funny shot. It was a picture of Rico (who was now a high school honor student) smearing cake all over his face making Gabriela and Zig lose it.

“Hey Hayley, we should show this to Rico! I bet he doesn’t remember it” Kaitlyn commented skimming through the pics.

Hayley smiled at the thought: Rico was basically a nephew to her and he made her promise to help him write his valedictorian speech if he managed to get that far. Gabriela soon became one of the greatest supporters of Hayley and even a co-worker when James convinced them both to help him write the script for a documentary on the life and work of Enrique Vasquez.

Gabriela was also the one who got Hayley’s bouquet: there was a shot of her bowing to the crowd holding it firmly in her hand. They paired that photo with one of the unsinkable Becca Davenport gaping at Kaitlyn’s one landing in her arms.

Hayley smiled fondly at the other pics Lily was pointing with her tiny finger: a stolen shot of James and Reyna slow dancing, Rachel trying to teach some dance moves to Grace and Maureen, Zack holding a panel “From Hayley’s wingman to Hayley’s best man’” beside an oblivious bride looking the other way, Abbie posing with their kitten Cinnamon, Madison kissing Becca on the cheek, Darren and Amara smiling at her camera, Annisa straightening Chris’ bowtie and...Peter and Stephen improvising a duet on the stage.

Oh that moment! She still remembered when Kaitlyn ran to her and pointed her finger towards the stage.

“Oh my god, Hayley look!”

Their dads stood there: Stephen was adjusting an acoustic guitar over his shoulder as Peter checked the mic.

“Kaitlyn, I’m sure you play this better than me” Hayley’s dad joked addressing the audience “But how do they say? It’s the thought that counts?”

The crowd laughed and Peter spoke:

“I really hope so, Stephen! It’s been a while since my last public performance...basically a life ago! But you know, this fine man and I were talking earlier and we had this idea of singing for you”

A loud “awwww” raised from the audience and the newlyweds held each other tighter.

“It’s a special day for you and...for us as well! So Kaitlyn, Hayley” he turned to Stephen and they said at unison “our amazing girls, this is for you!”

Stephen took a step back and stroke the guitar.

“We...we truly hope that we were good dads for you” Peter said into the mic, his voice flicking “and that you will always remember what we tried to teach you. Especially that in the end, all that matters, all you need...is love”

And he started singing the Beatles' song as Kaitlyn buried her face in the crook’s of Hayley's neck.

“Hey love, do you that papa Peter sang a song to us that day?” Hayley said, gently stroking Lily’s head.

The little girl turned to her then to Kaitlyn and cheered.

“Papa sang? I want Papa sing again!”

“We can do even better, baobei: why not a papa and momma Kaitlyn duet?” Hayley suggested, throwing a conspirational look at her wife as Lily shrieked!

“Papa and momma duet!! Momma pleeeasee?” she begged, hugging her mom.

Kaitlyn smiled adoringly down at her and put her arms around her tiny body.

“How could I say no to you, love?” she agreed, planting a kiss on the top of her little girl’s head.

As she cherished that embrace, her mind went back to the end of that day: when the wedding party was winding down, her father approached her on the balcony over the bay. He put wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they both looked at the venue.

After a while, her inhaled and said:

“Well this was not what I planned when I fantasized about my baobei’s wedding”

Kaitlyn turned her head to him.

“Dad...”

Peter looked down at her, his face brightened by a big smile.

“And I’m glad of it because this was a thousand times better”

He kissed her forehead and hold her tight.

“Just promise your ol’ man that you and Hayley will visit us every now and then”.

#choicesmarchchallenge #the freshman series #kaitlyn x mc #kaitlyn liao #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fanfic

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goldenmiran-blog · 5 years ago

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hey there ya’ll, i’m apple and this here is nolan miran; a twenty-nine year old lawyer and you’re friendly neighborhood, golden boy. his biography is under the cut. if you’re interested in discussing connections or plots, please don’t be afraid to send me a message, im, or add me on discord (apple#4061). i’m super excited to get to know you and all of your wonderful characters.

tldr; nolan buried himself in course work in high school and barely had time to spend time with the rest of the squad. he considered them his friends but it’s quite possible that some, if not most, of the others saw him as nothing more than a casual acquaintence. since graduating he went to law school and became a top tier lawyer. his name is often in the papers or on the news because he has a tendency to take on controversial cases.

Perfection was never an option, it was a necessity. The child of two incredibly successful parents, everyone assumed you’d become just as successful. Your parents tried not to push you too hard or crush you with their expectations but deep down you knew that they wanted a lot from you and, being the people pleaser you are, you really wanted to give it to them. You were the sort of child who cried when you accidentally colored outside the lines and who hung your head in misery if you missed a word on your spelling test. You hated disappointing your parents, but most of all, you hated disappointing yourself. You have always been your toughest critique and it only got worse as you got older. You had set a high standard for yourself and now your parents had come to expect nothing but the best from you, but the more you achieved, the harder it was to impress them and so you did more, racking in as many certificates, trophies, and scholarships as you possibly could in order to make them proud.

Being integrated into the squad was both a blessing and a curse. You had spent so much of your time focusing on academics that you hadn’t ever had a chance to make any real friends. Part of you craved the close companionship the squad offered but another part of you knew that you had others things you needed to focus on. Like a yo-yo, you bounced in and out of the squad members lives, which made it nearly impossible for you to make as much of an impact on them as the others. You were closer to some members than others, the muscle and the gregarious seemed to understand why you were the way you were and they tried to accept you with open arms whenever you could find the time to hang with the squad. Others weren’t quite as happy with the way you weaved in and out of the group, the guardian would scold you on a near-daily basis. You wanted to be a good friend but being a good student took precedence. Sometimes one can not do both.

It was no absolutely no surprise to anyone that you ended up at one of the best ivy league universities in the country. It was all but decided that you would follow in your father’s footsteps and become a lawyer but now you were a small fish in a big pond and being the best and brightest student at a small-town high school wasn’t as impressive as it had once been. Every one of your classmates had been their high school’s best and brightest and you were all competing for the recognition of the same professors and, eventually, the same legal firms. You held on for as long as you could, barely holding onto the spot at the top of the class. You didn’t make very many friends, everyone was either jealous of you or thought you were too uptight. You tried not to care about other people’s opinion’s but it was difficult, you’re only human.

When you weren’t studying in the library, you locked yourself in your dorm room with a bottle of the strongest alcohol you could get your hands on. Of course, your heavy drinking had an effect on your grades, you lost your spot as top of the class and started barely scraping by. Your parents became concerned when they stopped hearing from you, you didn’t want to talk to them if you didn’t have some new accolade to brag about and for months you hadn’t gotten so much as a ‘good work’ written on any of your papers. Your father, determined to get you back on the right path, arranged for you to get an internship with one of the influential legal firms near your university. You fetched coffee and made copies for some of the best in the business but it still wasn’t enough, if anything, it just proved how much longer you’d have to keep running yourself ragged. It wouldn’t stop at university, you’d be trying to one-up your colleagues until you retired.

Graduating from university wasn’t as fulfilling as you’d once dreamed it would be, especially when someone else was announced as valedictorian. Your parents claimed that they were proud of you but you didn’t believe them. Despite it all, you ended up at the very same firm you’d once interned at, this time a full-fledged lawyer. You slowly but surely worked your way to the top again, mostly because you’d take the morally questionable cases that other’s wouldn’t, and you’d win. You got paid more money than you’d ever had and some of your clients repaid you in others ways too, with drugs and women. There’s no denying you’re a good lawyer but whether or not you’re a good person is debatable.

wanted connections include:

- a member of the squad who may have gotten into some legal trouble and went to him for advice. maybe they met up and had dinner together. this would be the person he’s seen most recently and would be most comfortable around.

- a squad member who has been following his career and knows about all the criminals he’s gotten out of jail. in short, they’d hate his guts and constantly tell him off or remind him of what a good guy he used to be.

- a drinking buddy of some sort. someone who has issues of their own that they’re trying to work through with copious amounts of booze, or drugs, or both.

- a “will they / won’t they” from high school. someone that he obviously had a crush on but didn’t have time to have a real romantic relationship with because of how much time he spent studying. he may or may not still have feelings for said person, either way, tension ensues.

#thesquadintro

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writerinthedark · 5 years ago

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Everything but Right (Chapter One)

A/N: Nanowrimo year 2 in the bag! I hope you like it.

Word Count: 4,717

Summary: When Evaline starts her senior year she doesn't expect it to take a turn. There is a new teacher in her small town.

Warning: abuse, violence

Couple: teacher x student, eventually.

Chapter 1

Senior Buzz

The shouting of my parents rung me from my short lived sleep. I was far from surprised by the rude awakening. I quickly sat up tearing the blanket exposing my legs. The cold air causing goosebumps to appear on my skin. If I had any choice the last thing I would be doing is waking up. My school starts at 9:30. We were one of the few schools in the district to have highschool run at such a late bell schedule. I’m not complaining though any extra sleep is greatly appreciated. I slowly creep across my rooming reaching for the clothes I had laid out for the day. Today was the first day of my senior year, and my mother made sure I had my outfit picked to her standards. If even one thread was out of line her wrath would come upon me. Nothing was more important than the image I reflected of her. Clothes must be modest, clean, and mature. No room for comfort or utility. Turning on the light to my bathroom I gently place the stack of clothes on the vanity, and began my routine for getting ready. As I finish putting my outfit I looked at myself in the full length mirror that sat on the back of my bathroom door. I picked apart my form, I was an almost unhealthy thin, my rib cage just visible if your were to see my stomach. My face held the same hollow shape, my brown hair looking aged. My hazel eyes missing a lively spark. My legs held no muscle and very little fat on them. My short frame almost drowned in the overly modest outfit I was forced to wear. Consisting of a steamed flowy blouse that was tucked into a pair of dark skinny jeans, and a chunky tan cardigan to go over the outfit. The cardigan was to big leaving me to look dwarfed in the baggy material. A knock on my bathroom door snapped me from my daze. Checking my phone I saw I was running behind. I decided against taking the time to do my makeup. I couldn't hurt to go a day without it. I stepped out of my bathroom greeted with the face of my mother. Her brown hair pulled into a tight military style bun. A look of disapproval smeared across her face.

“You don’t even have makeup on, I told you how important it is that you are presentable. It is not just you who is affected by the way you dress.” she scolds me.

I want to roll my eyes at the statement. Of course she brings up the, it’s not just you who is affected. I have to stand and listen to the continuing scrutinizing of my appearance.

“You don’t even have time to fix it. I asked you to do one thing.” she sighs. “Just go downstairs I don’t even want to look at you right now. Be glad you dad left for work early this morning. He would have not tolerated this.” she waves her hand signaling me to leave.

I quickly rush out of the room and down the stairs. Thanking the fact my father was not here to yell at me. He may not be the one to make most of the rules, but he is definitely an enforcer. Grabbing a banana from the table I take my backpack making my way to the front door. Deciding I can just eat on the way to the bus stop rather than skipping breakfast all together. Closing the door behind me I take a deep breath. Today is going to be a good day I think to myself. I won’t let my mother get to me. I look fine, it was just a little bit of makeup it can’t do that much. Can it? I take my time walking to the stop. I was in no hurry, having left the house with enough time to not rush. Thought swirling in my brain. I was trying not to let the negative thoughts flood my brain. I wanted this year to be a good year. No like the past endless years of school. Determination to make friends before leaving the hell hole called highschool. Just one friend would send me over the moon. If I am lucky than a new student may enroll in the school and I can be friends with them before they get an opinion of me. What am I kidding no one even if they were new would talk to me. I am awkward and antisocial. I can barely talk to teachers without turning into an anxious mess. My hands begin to sweat and it gets harder and harder to speak till I end up just nodding. The thoughts keep spiraling till the sound of screeching reach my ears. I turn my head to see I had made it to my bus stop without realizing it and the bus had arrived. I grab the handrailing climbing into the bus. I give a small smile to the bus driver before glancing to find an empty seat. The bus was nearly packed I was the last bus on a busy route. Everyone had already found a friend to sit with leaving few options for me to pick. There was on empty space in the back by the cool kids. That was an obvious no for clear reasons. There was another space open by a group of kids who look friendly. I ended up taking the only seat that was completely empty. It was position right behind the bus driver where no one chooses to sit. Sitting down I turn my head to look out the window. I watch as the background blurs as the bus picks up speed as we begin to accelerate. Our school was position closest to the most populated area in our town making the drive short. Pulling into the bus loop I watched the filled parking lot of teens laughing and making noise. I lurch forward as the bus came to a stop. The doors hissed open to release us. I was the first out quick to get the day over with. The normally chaotic atmosphere seemed to be thriving with a new energy. Yes, it was always chaotic, but this time it seemed almost crazed. Something had to have happened. I was just not in the loop on what exactly that was. I was never in the loop so any drama I would not usually find out about unless someone talked a little to loud while in class. Some may call what I do eavesdropping, but it’s not my fault if you happen to talk to loud. Plus it is not like I have anyone to share anything I hear with. I am just a person who fades into the background.

This year I had only a couple classes due to finishing most of my credit requirements by junior year. The extra time I had I would spend drifting around the school and helping where needed. Ever since the beginning of highschool I waited for the day when I could get early release. The only problem wasn’t that it would not fit in my schedule, it was the fact that my parents refused to sign the contract. They rather me be at school then at home. In their mind I would wreak havoc. Why they thought that was beyond me. I have never once received a detention and did not plan on changing. Since the start of high school my grades remained at an A average putting me close to the top of my class. I was nowhere near valedictorian, but it put my mind at ease knowing I was not at the bottom. I made my way through the front door of the school expecting the hallways to be decently clear due to the cluster of students outside. Sadly, that was not the case. The hallways seem claustrophobic as people crammed into the small locker area. Unlike most highschools they keep are lockers in a closed area rather than spread throughout the school. To my disadvantage my locker was in the back corner of the three rows of lockers. To get from point a at the entrance of the locker area, to point b, my locker. It was a path filled with pushing and shoving. Being a girl of short stature enable me to be pushed are like a ping pong ball. Even if I choose to relate by a small shove It would feel like a little poke to the person receiving it. By the time I made it to my locker I was disappointed to find a girl leaning on it. That girl being Lexi the cool girl of the school. She was far from what she used to be. When we were young she used to be great friends of the family. We would always be together stuck like glue. That was until we hit middle school. I guess you could say the combination of peer pressure and puberty had its way. In the blink of an eye we went to being thick as thieves to not even glancing at each other in the hallway. Now here I was patiently waiting for her to move from her spot. I gave a quick cough trying to politely give her the idea. Without a glance I gave a loud sort of cough. This grabbed her attention causing her to turn. Rather than her moving, her face morphed into one of disgust.

“Excuse me, can’t you see we were kinda in the middle of talking. I know your not used to that sort of thing but I thought you would at least be smart enough to know not to interrupt. Apparently you are dumber than I thought.” she huffed rolling her eyes.

Well there goes my chance of getting to my locker. I wanted so badly to stand up to her cruel words but I found my mouth going dry at the thought. I instead decided to hang around the corner and wait until the left. I watched the clock tick closer to the bell. Little time remains for me to grab my stuff and make it to class. I turn the corner taking a peek at my locker to see them still leaning. Time was running thin and I had little options for getting out of this situation. Either grow a pair and stand up to her, or the more likely one of the two just wait till she leaves. The ringing of the bell sounded through the hallway causing a sigh to escape me. It was the first day and I was late to class. I saw them walking away with not a care in the world. Lexi looked over her shoulder throwing me a wink. She knew what she did and she was pleased with herself. I slowly made my way towards my no vacancy locker. There was no point in rushing when the bell had long past rung. I dropped off the unneeded things picking up the book required for the class. I studied my schedule finding the room number and teacher of my first block class of the day. Shoving the small slip of paper in my pocket I made my way towards the correct room. I had no clue how I would get out of the mess I made. With just my luck I arrived at a closed door. Meaning I had no choice but to interrupt the class to get in. I thought about the possibility of just skipping, but knew I would get into more trouble than it was worth. With one last breath I raised my fist giving a soft knock on the hard wooden door. With my head down I hear the click of the door open prompting me to raise my head. The man greeting me seem to be in his early twenties. His hair was a dusty brown grown to a clipped length. If it wasn’t for the formal attire I would have assumed he was a student. I must have been quite for a period of time because he gave a quick cough.

“How may I help you Miss?”

My words were failing me once again. I couldn’t form a sentence. I instead took the small now crumpled up paper from my pocket handing it to him. He took it with a confused look crossing his face. It took him a few seconds to catch on to what I was trying to infer. Realization passed across his face as he handed me the paper back.

“You must be the student I marked absent this morning. I do not take well to unexcused tardies Miss. Welton. Don’t make it a habit.” His tone was stern.

I shook my head signaling my understanding. He stepped aside allowing me into the room. I glanced around catching eyes with lexi yet again. Of course she had to be in the same class as me. She looked to her friend muttering something causing the other girl to laugh. The only seat left was on in the front of the class. I had no choice but to sit. I hated sitting in the front, It did nothing to ease my nerves. It was like being front and center. The teacher could always see you and everything you do was watched. I looked to the board to see Mr. Morgan in messy slant font.

“As I was saying before the interruption.”

It felt like all eyes were on me as he said this. I looked up to make direct eye contact with him. He seemed displeased with my presence.

“This year is outlined in front of you on the syllabus provided. As you can see your first assignment is due next class.”

A chorus of groans sounded throughout the room. No one wanted homework on the first day of school.

“This assignment will consist of giving a short speaking presentation at the beginning of the next class on your interpretations of the first chapter of the reading assignment. It will be worth 20 points and be the first grade put into the books.”

At the announcement of this my hands immediately began to sweat. I was never good at talking to anyone let alone present. I always was able to receive and alternate assignment when it came to these things. Teachers seem to take notice of how hard it would be for me to talk. I had a feeling though this teacher would not be so forgiving when it came to these things.

He came around handing out the rubric for the assignment. The thought of making friends completely falling from my head. As he made his way toward my area I took the assignment with a shaking hand. I didn't even glance up to look at him in the face. I was scared for what the year would bring. As he made his way towards his desk I took a second to take him in. He was very attractive that was obvious. I could see the other girls in my class practically drooling over him. I was to focused on the intimidating aura he gave off to join the gazing. The bell rung shaking me from my spiraling thoughts. I went to stand grabbing my bag from the side of my desk. Everyone was rushing through the door. Not wanting to deal with the pushing crowds I hung back. The room was almost cleared by the time I started moving. My next class was free so I was in no rush. By the time I finally started moving the warning bell rang through the loudspeakers. The sudden voice startled me. I turned facing the noise.

“Your cutting it close Miss. Welton. If your going to make it to class you might want to hurry.”

I was too shocked to respond. Instead of doing the reasonable thing and simply saying I didn’t have a class, I stood frozen. The bell rung over head causing me to quickly turn and briskly walk out of the room. I could faintly hear the rempremanding shout behind me.

“Your late to class Miss. Welton.”

The rest of my day was spent wandering around the school. Occasionally I would peak into a few classroom asking if the teacher needed assistance. But due to it being the first day of school a few things were needed. This left me to find a way to fill my time.

I just finished asking one of the many english teachers if they needed anything when and idea came to mind. I doubt any teacher would notice if I sat outside in the courtyard. Technically we were not allowed outside without a teacher present, but every teacher was in session. It's not like I would be leaving the school property. I would just be sitting outside. Normally I wouldn’t even consider bending the rules but having nothing to do lead me to boredom. I began walking toward the door checking both halls before pushing open the large metal door. It gave a squeal of resistance as I departed from the building. The trees had just started to brown at the edges in the changing seasons. Benches were spread throughout the small yard, some newer than others. Set at the far end of the courtyard sprouted a large oak tree. It was the only tree in the small space, its branches reaching above the school. Directly under its shadow sat a small bench. Its splintering surface and graying wood telling of its say. It most likely like the tree above it placed here at the opening of the school.

Shrugging my bag off my shoulder, I use the momentum and my shoe to nudge the bag under the bench. I pulled my headphones from my pocket, putting them in as I took a seat. My playlist beginning to play as soon as its plugged in. The thumping of AC/DC all night long ringing through my ears. Most of the time my music was random in the sense I loved all genres. My mind began to go blank and relax as the song switched to a slower tune. I found myself finally taking a deep breath. I had no homework, no projects which was surprising due to the level of classes I was taking. I shut my leaning against the rough bark of the tree. Its rough surface slightly scratching my scalp. If I had a choice I would stay here and take a nap. My head felt heavy with sleep tempting me to be pulled under. The violent shaking of my arm caused my eyes to fly open in panic. I could see Mr. Morgan saying something to me. His face was stern. I sit their unmoving my music still thumping loudly in my ears. With sudden realization, I yanked my headphones out of my ears. The sounds around me seeming quiet compared to the steady beat in my ears. He was standing there waiting for a response to something I never heard.

“Are you going to explain yourself Miss. Welton?” his eyebrows drawn in.

I opened my mouth to speak and shut it again when I couldn’t bring myself to speak. He took that as a sign of guilt.

“Please stand up we are heading to the front office,” he spoke bringing me to my feet.

My heart began rapidly pumping. The front office? I had never done anything wrong to find myself in there. I was always the good student. What was I going to do if I got in trouble? What was I going to if my parents found out? I was screwed. They already hate me as it is. I am the disappointment of a child they had. I would never like my perfect sister in their eyes.

With his face turned away I could see his set jaw. His demeanor was one of a soldier or commander. He didn’t tolerate anything less than perfect. I probably look of his worst nightmare as a student. I was anything but perfect. I couldn’t speak, I was bad at eye contact. With one look in someones eyes I practically wet myself. This year was going to be one of my hardest when it came to having him as a teacher. I longed to be able to hide in the background. The one skill I thought I was good at slipped from my fingers as soon as Mr. Morgan became my teacher.

The walk to the front office was quick. Our small school making everything close together. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone started laughing at me for getting dragged to the office. The quiet girl is a secret bad girl. I could already hear the whispers behind my back. The front desk lady looked up as we crossed through the door. Her eyes turning glazy at the sight of Mr. Morgan. I could see her slightly push her chest out making sure to look extra seductive.

“What can I do for you Mr.Morgan?” she batted her long eyelashes at him.

He completely disregarded her seductive nature as he looked down at her. “I am here to bring Miss. Welton to talk with the principle.”

Her demeanor changed as she was faced with his set look.

“I’ll send him a quick message and he will come get you,” she turned towards the computer typing.

Mr. Morgan directs me to the small group of chairs located next to the front desk. Sitting down I look directly at my feet waiting for the principal to come retrieve us. I take a second to look over at Mr.Morgan. Sat in the chair is posture is rigid and he looks to big for the small padded seat. If it wasn’t for the fact he brought me in I would think he was the one going to get a talking to by his superior. What was probably only a few minutes felt like hours. The door finally opened revealing my principle. He wore a smile on his face as he came to greet us.

“What can I do for you today?” he asked with a polite smile.

It was clear he was unaware of the intention of this meeting.

Mr.Morgan quickly spoke up, “I brought Miss. Welton in for being found outside out of class.”

“Oh, please follow me into my office.” He directed the two of us into his small office.

It was only big enough to fit a desk and two small chairs placed in front of it. I end up sitting in the seat closest to the window while Mr.Morgan sits in the other one. Mr.Rucker, our principal slowly makes his way behind his desk. He looks almost confused at the scene in from of him. I didn’t think he knew me but I have no other clue what that look could indicate, besides how did she end up here? Again I place my gaze toward the ground waiting. It all I seem to know how to do. Wait, wait for the problem to start.

“So you found Miss. Welton outside without a teacher during class, am I correct?”

“Yes Sir, I was going to go print a lesson when I saw her,” His voice was so formal when responding.

“Well, let's pull up your schedule to see what class you are missing shall we.”

I can hear the clicking of his keyboard as he searches for my name. I give no response only keeping my gaze aimed at the ground. I can’t believe the first day of school I had already broken my streak of never getting in trouble. I can’t help but think if it wasn’t for Mr.Morgan that streak would have stayed strong. That is foolish thinking though, any teacher could have found me perched on the bench. I wasn’t exactly hiding, more like trying to blend in plain sight. I hear a faint sound of confusion from Mr.Ricker.

“Huh, can that be right?”

My guess is he is seeing all the open spaces I have in my schedule. Not many people have one class free, let alone 5. You would think as the principle he would know that I was most likely on a free block, but on the other hand he has a whole school to look after.

“It seems Miss. Welton was in a free period, “he states. “She had been in free period since after first block. You have quite the free time.”

I take this time to finally look up. Mr. Ricker sits looking at my schedule with a look of surprise. I turn to see Mr.Morgan's face still set.

“That may solve one problem but she was still found outside without an adult.” Mr.Morgan reminds.

“Well, it was in the courtyard so not completely outside of school. I could give punishment, but it's only the first day. How bout we give her a free pass.” Mr. Ricker bargains.

“She should not get away with breaking the rules so easily,” Mr.Morgan argues.

They talk as if I am not there, which to be fair I wasn’t adding anything to the conversation so I might as well not have been there.

“She has never gotten in trouble before, so I don’t see why punishment is necessary. If you insist however, she shall receive detention with you.” He looks at Mr.Morgan.

“Very Well,” his response is short.

They both turned to me as I sit in silence. Neither expecting me to speak is was just more out of ignologing my presence. I give a slight nod signalling I understand.

“Well you both are free to go,” Mr. Ricker signals.

I quickly stand up ducking my head out the door to leave. I can faintly hear what seems to be an argument between the two.

“You can’t come to me every time a student gets in trouble. You have the authority now, there is no need to ask permission.”

Part of me wanted to know more but I had to shake my thoughts. It was none of my business. They say curiosity kills the cat, it must be true if it was done enough to be a saying. By the time I checked my watch I saw it was almost time for school to end. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed. I don’t know if it was because I was outside for so long or if it had taken longer than I thought to wait in the office. It was still reeling in my head, I had gotten into trouble. It seems by the way Mr.Morgan was acting I would not be getting off with a warning.

I watched the clock waiting for the finale bell to ring. I still didn’t know why it excites me so much to go home. Its not like I had anything I had to do. I would go home, cook, clean, and get yelled at for how I did a “bad” job on everything. Then I would go upstairs and sit and read till I eventually went to sleep. I did this everyday for as long as I could remember.

The bell rung leading me to start my walk to the buses. The halls filled with kids just as eager as I to get home. Right as I was about to exit my arm was firmly gripped. For the second time in a day I had been seized. I turned coming face to face with Mr.Morgan.

“You have detention Miss.Welton,” I stared up at him as he said this.

“Bus?” was all that made it passed my lips in almost a whisper.

Recognition seem to slide across his face. It looked as if he hadn’t realized I might require the bus to bring me home.

“We will talk about this next class,” with that he briskly walked away.

Checking the time I realized at this point I would have to jog to make it to the bus in time. Opening the door I took off in a sprint, managing to catch the bus right before it left.

#teacher #student #abuse #school #shy girl #senior #high school #teacher x student

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loverholland · 6 years ago

Text

where she went.

pairing: peter parker x reader word: 5.5k summary: They kissed and it felt magical, but he knew this wasn’t going to last. The butterflies in his stomach were going to disappear at some point because she would leave him. i am very aware that this is from a different account. loverholland is now dead and this is my new account. welcome.

February 2021

Peter didn’t think he would be in Chicago at the time he was. Posters of her face were plastered everywhere with the big bold words ‘SEE Y/N Y/L/N PERFORM FRIDAY THRU SUNDAY AT THE PALACE THEATRE. BEGINS AT FIVE PM.’ Peter looked at it, mind memorizing the way she looked in the picture. It didn’t look like she went through the traumatic accident that she had, especially at such a young age. Peter didn’t know where she went; all he knew was that she disappeared after finishing high school. She dropped her whole life back home in New York to moved away to pursue a new life in Chicago. She wanted to forget everything that happened. Forget her whole family perishing in front of her forget her out of body experience and forget Peter… She wanted to forget and forgetting meant forgetting him as well.

Peter felt a rush go through him, trying to decide if he should go to the concert or not, cancel the press conference he had scheduled with Tony Stark. Maybe it would be the best so he could see her once again. His hand shook as he looked at the poster, God he must look weird. It was his mind versus his heart. Does he talk about the things that happened to him during the big fight he was in or does he go back and see his high school sweetheart?

Peter touched his phone, finger touch immediately recognizing his fingerprint. It laid in his hands as his thumb pressed through different apps before touching the messaging one. His breath caught in his throat as he began to type. He deleted each once until he said screw it and typed out two simple sentences.

Tony Stark: Won’t make it to the press conference. Sorry.

Sent. Peter sighed and nodded to himself before putting his phone in his jean pocket and shoving his phone into his jacket. He walked down the street, remembering the time as he walked to his hotel room.

Peter thought about messaging her, asking her how she had been, but if she wanted to talk to him, she would’ve. He knows she would have, and by her not doing so, meant she didn’t want to talk to him. Peter wondered where she went in life, how she warmed up to college and how she had coped. Physical therapy was hell for her and he knew that, just by looking at her around school. She didn’t ever tell him that, but the way her face would scrunch up in pain every so often showed how much pain she was actually in.

After the accident, they ended things. She insisted that she just needed space to mourn and having people huddled around her, babying her, wasn’t going to work for her. He agreed and they promised to stay friends. They did, for a while. She began pushing more people away as things began to get tougher, she was seen less at school or in the music room, and she wasn’t participating in class like she normally did. Even though she wasn’t seen, she still graduated with a 4.15 GPA and was still valedictorian. She gave a speech and played a song, got her diploma and took some pictures before leaving. That was the last time he saw her, or anyone at school saw her.

Peter spent his time waiting to leave. He messed with his suit, watched TV, called Aunt May, texted Ned, and much more. He didn’t know what to do or how to pass the time while waiting to see the girl who left him.

Peter had fallen asleep at some point, waking up to an alarm playing in his ear. He groaned and turned over to turn it off, noticing the time.

4:30 PM.

Peter slowly got out of the bed, rubbing his eyes while walking to the mirror to look at himself. He looked like a mess. Peter decided to let his hair be its natural self so he wouldn’t take more time then need. He put on a pair of slacks, a nice light blue button down and a suit jacket that Tony had given him. Peter left and quickly walked down the street to the theatre. He bought his ticket and walked in to find his seat.

He looked at the stage, memorizing the lighting pattern and the sound of a cello playing in the background. The lights dimmed and she came out. She had the cello in her hand as well as the bow under her nimble fingers. She was clawed in a light blue knee-length dress that had small straps on her shoulders. Her hair was cut shorter than he remembered. He barely remembered her cutting her hair all throughout the years of going to school together. She had a long, ugly looking scar, up her right leg and he could see her walking in a small limp. How long has she had a limp? He wondered, but he didn’t know if he would ever get a chance to talk to her about anything.

She took a deep breath and positioned her fingers positioned on the D string. He didn’t know the chords, but he remembered her teaching him the strings when they were dating. She played beautifully and when it was over, she smiled and moved a stray hair behind her ear. She gave everyone a few moments to calm down before playing another song, and then the same thing happened again. Begin, finish, smile, pause, begin, and repeat.

When she finished, she stood and held the cello in her left hand and the bow in her right. Peter stood as well, clapping quickly as he looked at her. He felt his heart collapse when they made eye contact. He didn’t know if she knew that it was him or if she just looked out into the crowd and just made eye contact with someone. She still had a beautiful smile. She left the stage after bowing, walking to the back of the stage.

Peter took a deep breath and began walking towards the bathroom. He took his phone from his trouser pocket and looked over everything that was being said. Tony had texted him a few times, so did Aunt May and Ned. Peter noticed a few Twitter notifications and a few Instagram direct messages that he needed to check.

He was stopped as a hand came down on his shoulder. Peter quickly turned and looked at the person who had touched him. It was a man who was about his height. He had blonde hair and freckles all over his face. His eyes were like Peters. The man stuck his hand out.

“Peter Parker?” He asked. Peter nodded and took the man’s hand before speaking.

“Who’s asking?” He questioned and the man chuckled, shaking his hand.

“Josh,” he stated and Peter nodded. “Y/N wants to see you if you don’t mind.” He huffed out and Peter’s eyebrows knitted. So, she did see him. Peter turned his head and looked at the line in front of him and then back at Josh. Peter debated in his head for a few moments. Should he see her? What would he say? What would shesay?

Peter nodded and followed the grinning man. He led him backstage and towards a dressing room. Peter looked around him and noticed what everything looked like. There were polls and rope and different instruments were just standing in different areas. Josh stopped in front of a door that had her name on it before knocking twice. Peter took a deep breath as he watched the door slowly open. If he wasn’t scared before, he sure as hell was now. Peter began to play with the sleeves of his suit jacket and as soon as he saw her, everything fell into slow motion. It was like someone turned the dial down so he could take in the beauty she held.

Her hair was defiantly shorter than before, everyone would know that. She was now dressed in a pair of sweats that hid the scar and a jumper from their high school. It still had the same toothpaste stain from before. She ran a hand through the short locks of her hair and smiled, thanking the man.

“Peter,” Y/N smiled softly and opened her arms and walked towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and his went around her waist. She smelled the exact same as she did in high school. It was like vanilla and sugar cookies.

“Hey,” Peter whispered into her hair. They spent time like that, he felt as if it was too long, but he didn’t mind. Peter was the first to pull back and he took in her face. She had a healthy glow, despite the scars littering her face. He also noticed that her eyes had stayed the same vibrant color they were, even in the hospital they never dulled. “How are you?” Peter asked suddenly. Y/N shrugged and took his hand into hers to drag them into her dressing room.

“See you later, Josh. Come by in the morning? I need help finishing packing.” she smiled and Josh nodded. Why was she packing? The door closed and she turned to look at him. “I’m good,” she smiled. “How are you?”

“Okay, I guess.” He muttered the last part and she nodded. There was an awkward pause between them all. She sat down and looked at him, taking him in before looking at her lap. He was dressed nice and his hair was cut shorter than she remembered, but his curls were still on display. His eyes were the same chocolate brown as before and he spotted freckles all on his cheeks and nose.

“I read about what you did with the Avenge- they’re not the Avengers anymore.” She whispered and shook her head slightly before going on. “You’re really brave, Pete.” The nickname made Peter’s heart stop and his head shot up quickly. She read about the war? He didn’t quite know why he was surprised. Of course, she did. She loved history and this was just another war for her to learn about.

Peter didn’t respond quickly, just looked at her until he looked away. “Thanks,” he muttered and ran his hands over his suit pants. “It’s still haunting, but I’ve slowly have learned to live with it.” He nodded to herself and she nodded. He knew that she understood, even if it wasn’t in the same way.

“I bet,” she whispered and looked away from him. Peter wanted to tell her what he went through, what it was like to be in space and he wanted to ask her if she knew he disappeared. He doubted it since, well, no one really knew. They just knew that he was missing and nothing else.

Another silence overtook them until his stomach rumbled from hunger. It made Y/N laugh and for some reason, it made him feel some sort of happiness.

“When was the last time you ate?” She asked and Peter thought about it. Maybe, lunch? He wasn’t too sure if he even ate today.

“I don’t remember,” he muttered and her eyebrow rose. She lifted herself off the couch in the room, grabbing her purse off of the vanity behind him.

“Then I’m taking you out to eat,” she smiled. Peter began to protest, explaining that he didn’t have money on him. She didn’t care though, she wanted to treat him tonight since it would most likely be the last time they see each other; unless fate were to bring them together once again.

Y/N picked up her phone from the side table and stuffed it in the pocket of her sweats before grabbing cash and a pair of keys from her purse. She didn’t bring anything, which surprised him. She used to carry glasses around everywhere she went and she always had painkillers and different things to check her health, but he assumed she didn’t need them anymore.

“How has it been since being back?” She asked suddenly once they were outside the theatre and into the cold night air. She looked over at him as she walked the two of them down the street. Peter shrugged and kept his eyes straight ahead.

“Uh, fine.” He muttered under his breath as he looked over at her. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at him. It wasn’t fine and somehow she knew. Peter looked away and at the other people that filled the streets.

“I mean, I’m in therapy now and I feel frightened at all time because I’m afraid I’m going to die again. Thanos isn’t really…” he paused and did a hand motion as he sighed. “He’s not really gone. He’ll come back at some point and I pray that it’s a time where I’m not here anymore.” He explained and Y/N nodded, stuffing her hands into the hoodie pockets.

They walked in silence until they stopped in front of a little diner. It looked old but there were some new elements to it. Y/N pushed open the door and walked in. She hollered out a ‘hello’ before sitting at a booth. Peter sat opposite of her. She smiled and laid her chin on her hand. She was content, Peter knew that. She was content with being with him again, happy even.

“Chicago is so much different than Brooklyn.” She stated suddenly. “The people are different and the way they teach and just… everything is so different, you know? It’s nice.” She explained. Her eyes glanced over at the lady walking over to them. “It’s nice to not be in a place where my whole life was ripped from me.” She whispered and smiled at the lady.

He thought he was her life, but he wasn’t. Her family was, of course. He’s not surprised but he thought he was at least a little bit of her life.

“How are you guys?” She asked and Y/N gave her a cheeky grin. “Are you two on a date? Should I get you the special?” She asked in a whisper and a wink. Y/N shook her head and looked over at Peter.

“Just two friends catching up, Gretchen.” She said the name like they were best friends. Peter looked between the two and took in the way they were conversing. He also managed to take in the way Gretchen looked. She was dark skinned and tall and a little chubby, her hair was curly and a dark black with purple dotting the ends.

Gretchen and Y/N laughed at something before she spoke. “Well, you two look in love.” She smiled before taking out a pen and notepad from her apron pocket. “So, what can I start you off with?” She asked and before Peter could ask for a menu, Y/N began ordering.

“Uh, water and a number 5 with large fries,” Y/N smiled up at Gretchen. Peter shrugged and looked over at the board over the bar. Peter wasn’t sure what he wanted so he said the same thing, just without fries. Gretchen smiled and walked off, leaving the two to themselves.

“Are you going to college?” Y/N asked and sat her chin on her hand. Peter pursed his lips and opened his mouth, releasing an ‘um,’ while trying to think.

“Yeah,” he nodded suddenly, looking at her. “Tony is helping pay for me to go to MIT,” Peter explained and Y/N smiled.

“That’s great!” She spoke.

This felt good. This conversation and the way they were sitting and catching up… it felt good and he missed it. He missed her. It wasn’t a secret since most people know he had missed her, the only thing was, he didn’t know if she missed him. Peter had thought of a question to ask over the silence, but when his mouth opened and the words started to stumble out, Gretchen was there with their drinks. Y/N smiled at her and smiled, taking the straw and putting it inside the glass before looking over at him again.

“Have you ever been to Chicago? Other than today?” She asked and Peter shook his head, sipping at the water. Y/N smirked softly before speaking. “Well, you have a lot of sightseeing to do then.” Peter knitted his eyebrows and spoke up quickly.

“Sightseeing? Isn’t it like, 8 PM?” he asked and Y/N raised her eyebrow, lips wrapped around the straw. He knew that even if it was midnight she would show him around the whole damn city until he was ready to go back to his hotel and pass out, and even then, she would find something to show him.

“And?” She asked once her lips were free. “There’s no better time to sightsee than at night,” she leaned back and smiled. “Anyway, it’ll be less crowded and we’ll be able to see things better. Plus, it’s much prettier at night.” She hummed in a matter of fact. Peter nodded, looking down at his lap. He wished he would’ve just came in a pair of jeans and a regular shirt because now, he’s dressed in some fancy getup while she’s comfy.

Gretchen came out soon after, each handheld their plates before putting them in front of each other. Peter smiled and thanked her before looking at Y/N who also thanked her. Peter watched as Y/N took the ketchup bottle and put the ketchup over to the side before dipping a few fries before eating them. Peter did the same and began eating. They ate in silence, making small talk and giggling at something they did.

About halfway through, Y/N’s phone buzzed and Peter couldn’t help but glance at the home screen. It was a picture of her and her family in an old Polaroid. He remembered the picture because it was one he took of them at a cookout. Peter didn’t voice anything, even when he noticed the contact that was texting her.

Y/N snatched up her phone and quickly typed a response before locking it and setting it down. She didn’t say anything; she just continued eating so that’s what he did. He didn’t talk and just continued eating.

Gretchen came out a little bit later, picking up the trash. “Would you two like dessert?” She asked and Peter shook his head and Y/N followed his lead.

“I think we’re good, Gretch.” She smiled and Gretchen nodded and dug in her apron pocket and grabbing the check before sitting it down. Gretchen smiled and walked off. Y/N dug in her pocket and grabbed out cash, looking at the check and then putting cash inside with a little extra. Y/N began scooting out of the booth and stretched her arms before putting her hand out for Peter to take.

“Bye, Gretch!” She yelled after Peter took her hand. She led them outside, smiling at the wind that hit them. Peter hated the cold and this was making him wish he would’ve just gone to the interview, but he wasn’t going to complain and make her think he didn’t want to see her, because he did. He really did want to see her, he just wished it was daytime so it was a bit warmer.

Their fingers were interlocked as they walked the dark streets of Chicago. The streetlamps and small shops were lighting their path. Peter listened to everything she said, smiling softly as she explained all of her favorite spots. He found out where her favorite ice cream shop was and her favorite bakery as well as her favorite park and library.

They began walking over a bridge overlooking the city and the pale lights illuminated the water. It was beautiful. Peter felt Y/N’s hand slip from his and he looked over at her, watching as she pushed both hands inside her hoodie. This moment right here, he would remember forever. He wished he had a camera to remember it, but his memories would do. Your hair was blowing in the wind, but she looked content with the whole thing. So when the question he’s been dying to ask popped into his head, he didn’t want to ruin it. He didn’t want to take her away from being happy and turn it on him, but deep down he knew that once they part ways again, she won’t talk to him.

“Can I-uh, ask you a question?” Peter asked suddenly, eyeing her expression. Y/N looked over at him and nodded with a smile, giving him the go ahead. He didn’t know how to word it, does he just come out and say “hey, you left me all alone after high school with no word but I saw you were texting Ned so was I just a bad boyfriend or something?” or does he sugar coat it.

“I was wondering,” he paused and turned his attention to the water, wanting to avoid making eye contact. Her attention didn’t falter from him though; she kept looking at him, waiting for the question. “Why did you leave suddenly? You left after high school and you pushed me away and didn’t talk to me. I didn’t even know you were down here until today, Y/N. Why would you push me away but still talk to my best friend?” He asked, the words coming out in a jumble. Y/N’s eyebrows knitted, the question taking her off guard. She scoffed softly and looked in front of her.

“I lost my whole family, Peter. You were an Avenger and needed your own time to figure yourself out. If you were in my position you would’ve done the same thing.” She shook her head and glanced at her feet. “I left to get away. I wasn’t going to stay there and remember my family’s death.” It was harsh and Peter looked at her finally.

“I would’ve done the same thing; I would’ve tried to work it out,” Peter whispered. Y/N’s head whipped around and she looked at him, eyes narrowed.

“You would’ve tried to work out a high school romance even when your whole family died, Peter? You would much rather work out something that doesn’t matter at the end instead of trying to forget all of the pain you feel? I wanted out of there, so I got out. I didn’t want to hurt myself anymore so as soon as my doctor told me to leave, I left. I didn’t want to turn back. I didn’t want to remember, Peter. You remind me of my family. You remind me of everything I had before and then it was ripped away.” She cried out, hands coming out of her hoodie to pull at her hair.

“Just because I’m a memory means you have to forget me?” He asked and she scoffed, ready to walk away. “I’ve lost so many people, Y/N and yet I didn’t cut anyone off because they were a memory.”

“You didn’t lose your whole family in one day, Peter! You’re too young to remember your parent’s death and you lost your uncle. I’m so sorry for that, Peter, and you know I am, but I don’t know if you could even imagine watching your little brother die or your mother and father all in the same night. You have Aunt May, I have no one.” She whispered the end, stuffing her hands back in the pockets. She turned on her heel, walking off.

“You had me,” Peter said, making Y/N stop in her tracks. She turned her head, looking over her shoulder. Peter knew he fucked up, knew the three words made her tick. She did have him though. She had him there the whole way, but she didn’t want him.

“It was a one-way street, Peter! I had you, yeah, sure, but you had a shell of me! You didn’t have me, you had a fucking shell and you can stand out here and tell me how you could’ve helped me, but you couldn’t. I was never myself. I haven’t been myself since, so stand here and feel pity that you and I didn’t work out. I don’t care.” While she spoke, she was drawn closer to him. Her eyes were throwing daggers at him, but he could see the tears that welled up in her eyes. He sat his hand on her arm, opening his mouth to apologize, but she stopped him. “And yeah, I’ve been talking to Ned. He told me you were here.” She muttered, ready to knock off his hand.

She looked up at him, eyes noticing the way sadness was built up inside him. She shook her head, laughing to herself. “Bye, Peter.” She muttered under her breath, shrugging his hand off of her before walking off. Peter stared at where she stood for a moment, before turning around and running towards her, yelling her name. She turned around and looked at him, Peter was thankful for that in many ways.

He sprinted to her, huffing for a moment before grabbing her face in his hands. They just argued and he was going to do this? He was going to allow himself to fall in love wither her again. He looked at her, eyes taking in the way she looked. A few tears had slipped from her eyes and she went to wipe them away, but Peter beat her to it. She was still angry, he knew that, but he didn’t want to leave it like the last time.

Without thinking, Peter leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. It was a short kiss, but it wasn’t quick. They kissed and it felt magical, but he knew this wasn’t going to last. The butterflies in his stomach were going to disappear at some point because she would leave him. She would go back to ignoring him and reading articles about him but never saying anything. Peter tilted his head a bit, deepening the kiss, but Y/N pulled away. They shared a silence and they only looked at one another before she spoke up.

“Do-Do you want to come back to my place?” She asked and Peter nodded. Y/N took his hand and led them down the dark street, past everything she had shown him before turning on a random street and towards a neighborhood. The homes were beautiful and he wondered how she lived in such a beautiful neighborhood as a college student.

Y/N stood in front of a gate, pressing in a few numbers before pushing the gate open and walking through it. She shut it quickly before walking them to the front door; unlocking it and pushing the door open for them to enter. Peter watched as she took off her shoes and took everything out of her pockets before closing the door. He followed her lead, taking off her shoes and sat his phone on the table. He followed her into the living room. She flipped on a switch and he noticed that it was sleek, modern with white and grays. She had a few colorful pillows and lampshades, but everything else was white and grey.

It was completely different from her home growing up. Everything was colorful and there was children’s artwork hanging up and they had pictures of family everywhere. Here felt different. Y/N had pictures of her family hanging up everywhere. On the wall in front of him, picture frames held pictures of her happiest times and she had her acceptance letter hanging up too. Peter noticed that she had a few photos of him and her, as well as her and Ned. They made a smile grow on his face.

“You still have this?” He asked when his eyes took in a picture of him and her with her family and Aunt May. It was at a basketball game; her parents had bought them all tickets and took them. It was a good day and Peter remembered how excited he was.

“Yeah,” she whispered, looking at it. “It was one of mom’s favorite pictures. She had it in her wallet.” She quickly looked away, going towards the kitchen. Peter followed her after looking at the picture for a bit. He walked into the kitchen and watched her pull out a few glasses and filling them with water. Peter took one from her and then followed her into the living room.

They didn’t speak until she turned to look at him. She put the cup on the table and sat her hands on her lap. Peter wanted to say something, an apology for earlier, but he didn’t. He just looked right back at her.

The gears in her brain were running quickly until she grabbed his face and kissed him again. It was rough and quick, something he wasn’t even sure was happening. Her hands were on his face and the hand that was holding the cup reached to set it beside hers before moving to her waist.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen and for her to get in his lap. When he parted from the kiss and pressed his lips down her neck, he heard a soft moan leave her lips and he looked up at her, hands never leaving her hips.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Are you absolutely positive you want to do this?” He wanted to make sure, so when she nodded, he continued. Ridding her of the hoodie she was in and looking over her exposed torso. The scars were evident and he kissed every single one of them, dragging his lips over hers.

Peter woke up to the smell of coffee, eyes trying to adjust to the bright light the shone through the window. He stretched out his arms and groaned before swinging his feet out of the bed he was in. He didn’t quite know where he was, but the memories from the night before ran through his mind. He smiled softly and shook his head. He put on the boxers that were sitting neatly on the chair at her desk. He didn’t bother putting on anything else, just going downstairs to be met with the person he wished to wake up to every day.

He walked into the kitchen and caught a glimpse at Y/N. She wore a large t-shirt and a pair of short shorts. He missed this. He missed her. He cleared her throat, frightening her for a split moment before she turned around. She looked at him, smiling softly before turning back and grabbing a coffee cup, handing it over to him. He took it willingly before sipping it. It was exactly how he liked it.

“You can eat whatever you want, I don’t really eat breakfast.” She hummed and sipped the hot liquid from her own mug. Peter nodded and sat on the edge of the table. He looked at her as she did her thing. “Also, your phone has been going off, you might want to check it.” She muttered and turned her back to him, turning on the faucet water and beginning to wash some dishes she must’ve left out.

Peter hummed and went into the entrance, taking his phone. It must’ve been dinging or something for her to know it was going off. He read the texts. Many of them from Tony, telling him that they had to leave by 10 AM, and it being 9:30 AM he knew Tony would be mad at him. He also noticed texts from both Ned and Aunt May.

Peter huffed out a sigh, walking up the steps to the bedroom he once walked out of and putting on the clothes that were hanging from the chair. He put the clothes on before walking downstairs and putting the mug back in the sink. He smiled at her when she turned towards him.

“What’s up?” She asked and Peter’s lips pursed. He felt terrible for leaving her so suddenly and without warning, but he smiled and broke the news to her.

“I have to go. Tony and I need to get to New York today.” He explained and her eyebrow raised before she nodded.

“Understandable,” she hummed and smiled. “I’ll call and Uber.” And she did. She walked out and found her phone before calling and Uber. When she walked back in, Peter smiled at her. They sat in silence, she sipped on her drink and he played with loose threads. When her phone dinged, signaling that the Uber was there. She got up and silently showed him the way out. She opened the door and leaned against it.

“The gate will open automatically.” She told him, giving a small smile. Peter returned it, starting to walk down the steps before she stopped him. “Text me the next time you’re in Chicago.” She smiled and looked at him. Peter nodded, smiling back.

“Will do,” he replied and continued on his way. Before he got to the car, he looked back and watched her enter the house again. He entered the car and gave the nice man the directions before finding her number and texting it. He was thankful he hadn’t deleted it.

Y/N Y/L/N: Don’t be a stranger, my phones always on.

And with that, he turned his phone off and closed his eyes, reminiscing in the memories swimming in his mind.

#peter parker #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #mine

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yoongisbbydoll · 7 years ago

Text

white lie, (m.)

⇢ pairing ─ kim namjoon, reader

⇢ genre ─ break up

⇢ length ─ 8,206 words

⇢ warnings ─ angst, smut

⇢ synopsis ─ You never needed him, or at least that is what you tell yourself. Especially when, spur of the moment, you abandon everything and catch a flight out of the country, leaving everything behind to find yourself.

Nearing the end of your third year of college, you found your nights were spent in the darkness of your shared apartment searching for jobs. There were weekends wasted away getting drunk on cheap wine and Smirnoff with your roommates and friends after you had all given up on combing through job websites and emails from professors. At the time, summer break had seemed like a blessing and a curse, with a new boyfriend and friends but also seemingly endless rejected applications and days passing doing absolutely nothing.

Your only wish was to get a job to last you through the summer then into your final year of college. Soon enough, you would be venturing into the real world and it was time to start preparing for that day’s arrival. You needed to plan for when you finally were forced to jump ship on childhood and swim to the shore of adulthood—which seemed miles away, out of eyesight.

But your senior year of college brought corporations reaching out to you and not the other way around. So quickly had adulthood become that much closer, and a stable cash flow was making its way into your bank account. Student loans didn’t feel like a demon perched on your shoulders each time you went to class. You were in a perfect relationship with the valedictorian of his class, Kim Namjoon, and with your one-year anniversary seemingly around the corner, you couldn’t help but feel content in the way things had played out for you after years of stress and hard work.

Your relationship was like a dream until Namjoon received an opportunity—no, the absolute best opportunity, were his words on a cold, winter night. You were a little farther than tipsy when Namjoon told you—he had fed you drinks in hopes it would cushion the news he was about to break. But, despite your buzzed headspace, you had still heard him loud and clear. Being drunk only brought out your worst side through screaming and dramatic cries, a night later spent alone in your bed with tear stains as your only companion.

Namjoon had been offered a spot in a prestige foreign exchange program where he would go to America to study his major and advance his English proficiency. He would be gone for the last semester, abroad in a foreign land filled with conventionally beautiful women and men, new opportunities and friendships. You knew he wouldn’t want to come back. America was always his end goal. This would be a stepping stone to reaching this dream of his. Namjoon would be gone with the snap of a finger before your eyes.

In the two weeks leading up to Namjoon’s departure, you avoided his calls and texts, throwing yourself into your studies. Countless days were wasted hunching over highlighters and ripped notebook pages, pen marks and the limelight of your computer and lamp. Only when the sun started to shine through your blinds would you realized that once again you had stayed up far too late trying to distract yourself. Before getting into bed, you would turn on your phone to listen to the voicemails Namjoon had left you.

They all started the same.

I miss you so much.

He would then prose questions you would never answer:

I’m leaving soon and want to see you. Why weren’t you in classes today? Are you sick? Have you been sleeping well? Do you want me to come by with that tea you like and your favorite blanket? It’s still on my bed. I’ll leave it here if you want it when I leave. Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.

Each voice mail ended with a robotic click and crackling in the speaker. Each message would be deleted. Then you would turn to your computer and submit your work, type up a half-assed excuse as to why you wouldn’t make classes that day, then turn to your bed.

But, although you had stayed awake during the night, sleep did not come to you in the morning. The sheets smelled too much like Namjoon though you proactively cleaned them.

Today you did the same.

After sitting in the soft smell of your soon-to-be-ex boyfriend for almost an hour, you stood. You glared down at your bed and quickly ripped up the bedspread and everything else. The sound of seams and thread breaking met your ears this time but you ignored it and stuffed everything into a laundry bag.

Down at the communal laundry, you would shove the bedspread into an empty washing machine and pay the cheap price. Instead of returning to your dorm to wait, you would lean opposite of the machine and watch as water sloshed in, then the soap as it bubbled it and soaked into the fabric. The white sheets would become full of the soapy water and bubbles would crawl up the glass as it spun round and round.

The constant pitter patter of the machine caused your eyes to droop, as if welcoming the familiar sounds into sleep. You could barely slide down on a bench before your eyes were finally succumbing to sleep, the soft thrumming of the laundromat surrounding you.

The machine alerting you it had finished its cycle would wake you, startling you out of colorless dreams. You would quickly shoved everything into the dryer and go on your phone until everything was warm and smelled of fabric softener—not Namjoon.

It had become routine. For thirteen days, you followed these steps as if your life depended upon it. You ignored everyone’s concerns, even your teachers worry filled emails, your roommates’ pregnant pauses as you entered and left the room and their eyes following you wherever you moved. Your bedroom became messy, paper coffee cups and snack wrappers gathering on your desk, the floor, the space between your bed and the wall. You didn’t bother cleaning. No one was coming by anytime soon, anyways.

On the day you knew Namjoon was leaving, you finally decided to kick yourself out of the harmful and depressing routine. This time, you went to bed at a reasonable time and woke up early enough to slip into something besides sweatpants. You walked into classes like a ghost and watched when your teachers’ eyes widened as you responded to roll call. In fact, everyone’s eyes had widened a bit.

But you didn’t look up to the curious eyes, bashfully turning down to your book and doodling on the corners. Eventually, classes ended, and you had received a hefty amount of makeup work and notes. Your weekend had been planned for you.

But it was a Friday and the campus was abuzz with talks of parties and alcohol and other toxic drugs to get people off. Instead of searching for an address to forget yourself at, you turned in the direction of the library and pressed yourself into the familiar atmosphere.

Throughout college, the local library had become a small safe haven and you often found yourself spending days and nights studying between its dust lined walls and rows of endless books that hadn’t been touched in years. Everything was as you remembered it, there was light airy music playing on low and the librarian called you out by name. You greeted her and she smiled kindly back before returning to her stacks of books.

You looked at the books longingly. It was easy for you to lose yourself in a good read. Each story seemed to drag you in and never let you go. A distraction. That’s what you needed.

Head hanging low, you shuffled through the library, avoiding the wandering gazes of other classmates. You made yourself a coffee, slipping an extra dollar into the small donation box and then wandering off into a distant corner.

There were only about fifteen students in the small library at most. Each was focused on their own work and you were glad that there would be no one to disturb you.

On your way to find a seat, a stray book had caught your eye. It had been laying on an abandoned table and you scooped it up. The cover was worn for a library book, but the little, stamped slip inside the cover said no one was using it currently.

You splayed your things out on the table so no one would join you and tucked yourself into the chair, crossing your legs over themselves comfortably. The book’s first few words were a bit faded but you squinted closely and began reading.

For almost two hours, your mind was wrapped up in physics and psychology, exploring the meaning of life—or mostly the fact that there is none—and evolution of man. It took a deep cough to startle you away from your work. You did not have to look up to know who was sitting in front of you. His purple hair stood out against the bland, warm colors of the library.

From what you could see, he was dressed up in a nice suit, hair slicked up off his face. “Plane lands and we go right to the campus for an interview,” Namjoon says when he notices you staring at his out-of-place attire.

You nodded and looked over at your bag, wondering what he would do if you pulled out your headphones. “Please don’t.” He begged, already way ahead of your own thoughts.

This time, you looked up.

Though he was dressed prim and proper, his eyes were bloodshot, so you pushed your cup of coffee towards him—he probably needed it more than you anyways. Namjoon brought it to his lips and took a long, exasperated gulp.

“How long is your flight?” You asked, trying to be polite.

Namjoon’s glistening eyes dropped down to the cup in his hands. “Too long.”

You smiled—or tried to smile as much as you could in that moment. “I suppose you will be bringing a book or two then? Want a suggestion?”

Namjoon had first seen you in the library. He had first kissed you between the shelves and slipped his hands down your shorts in one of the private rooms. He had quietly rocked you against his hips and the table all those times he coaxed you into his lap to help him study.

The tall shelves that lined the floors became home to inside jokes and stolen kisses. The walls were places to press each other against and skim book descriptions on. The tables in the back became a home to nights studying and taking out frustration while fucking on top of the sticky surfaces. It was a ruthless cycle of trying to pass classes and trying not to get caught with his dick in your mouth. Sex with Namjoon was heated but slow at slow at first but later it because instant and quick, something you relied on when you didn’t have anything to say. Being with Namjoon had completely changed since that first day.

But now, as he sat in front of you, eyes tired and hands shaking from what you assume was restlessness and coffee—he’d always had an unhealthy obsession with the drink—he seemed so much different. Namjoon was always composed and seeing him in such a state frightened you.

His eyes met yours and you tried to smile. This was awkward for the both of you.

“Got anything good for me?”

You thought you were reading too deep into the question but replied anyways. “Yeah, this one called Brighton Rock by Graham Greene and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John le Carré—which I’ve read more than a few times now. They should keep you occupied for the flight.”

You awkwardly tapped your pencil on your book, as if trying to will him away.

Namjoon pushed back his chair, words on the tip of his tongue. He instead nods and turns, weaving himself into the shelves you’d once lost yourself in.

Namjoon didn’t come home for graduation, didn’t call or text after leaving. But you suppose your last meeting had to have been closure enough for him so it must be enough for you too. Guilt still bit at your wrists and ankles before you finally kicked it away and straightened yourself out for finals. Test results came back and you secured your own apartment out in the city for just yourself. You adopted a cat, got a well paying job and another boyfriend. But it wasn’t enough for you.

The apartment walls were too small and the cat was too annoying when you were trying to work. Even work was boring as hell and you always seemed to behind on something. It felt as if you had lost yourself, college hadn’t helped you chose a career and you still searched for better paying and most interesting jobs. Anything seemed better than the job you currently had, but it was the only one that paid you enough to afford an apartment in the city.

In the late spring, one year after you finished college, you quit your job. Walked right out in the middle of a corporate meeting with all those important people who made a real difference in the workplace.

The meeting had been boring, and you could barely see the notes you had been taking over the drowsiness eating away at your vision. Suddenly, the man standing at the front of the room had said your name, startling you out of your haze. When you looked up, he was glaring at you. You’d gotten this look from teachers and parents your entire life. But now, as a adult, it snapped in you. Your seat fell over in your rush to leave the room, sprinting down the halls, down the stairs until you reached the cool air outside.

People glared at you as you weaved quickly through the crowds but you didn’t care, letting your feet take you back to your apartment. When you finally made it there, you started roughly packing a small bag. You shot your boyfriend a text, telling him that things just weren’t working out on your end. You threw whatever you thought was most important to you in that bag and ran out the door.

At the airport everyone gave you side eyes, wondering what you were doing looking like a hot mess, hair mused, clothes crumpled. But you were in a completely different headspace, you didn’t give a single fuck about what these people who didn’t know you thought. You bought the earliest flight out of the country and rushed through security as if your life depended on it.

When you passed through the gates and gave the flight attendant your ticket, you didn’t turn back. Partially because you didn’t want to but also because you couldn’t or you might have stayed.

The flight you booked, which you had barely bothered to look at, was to France. Where specifically, you did not know, the city’s name lost in the confines of your head. But you did not stay lost, after midnight trysts with men whose names you forget now, you needed to move on. The world was waiting for you and you couldn’t bring yourself to stay in one place for more than a few weeks. Each new country was right in front of your fingers, new faces and foods you had never heard of. You dined in the fanciest to the most run-down restaurants. You captivated the people with your accent and giggles when you tried to speak their mother tongue.

You learned new languages, picking up on the most basic of things to get yourself by. It was fun not knowing though, listening to natives rapidly fire out different words in their own tongues while you sat, fascinated eyes wide. More people had shown you a good time than the people in your own country and home time and it felt nice to have the attention finally on you. Never on someone else or lingering on another body.

Men and women alike lured you into their traps, holding you to the country. In each place, you’d met more than a dozen but only one mattered in each place you ventured.

In France, it had been Ulrich. A chain smoker and heavy alcoholic, a man who swore like the sailors do, but someone with so much love an f care he didn’t know what to do with. Ulrich had been the first of many to capture your heart and mind—with nothing more than a single glance across the bar and a tug on his lips. He taught you to slow dance like the rich do in the middle of his rooftop apartment. You had spent the afternoon pushing all the furniture to the sides of the room then wrapped in each other’s arms, glass balcony doors opened, billowing white drapes hiding the outside from your view.

Ulrich’s lips were like bitter coffee that stung your own and left you craving for more. His hair was the darkest of chocolates, and eyes the color of your mother’s. In the mornings, he would let you sleep in, only waking you when the sun had begun to fall over the opposite side of the sky and the bright blues turned orange and violet and fluorescent yellow. In the afternoons, Ulrich would treat you to the streets and delights of Paris, kissing udder the Eiffel like a pair of stereotypical actors in a movie. In the nights, he would lead his kisses down the column of your neck, softly laying you into his bed. As the sun rose he would meet you out on his balcony, sprinkling hickies down your neck and shoulder, prickling goosebumps rising from your skin. He would bathe you in the dewy morning light before going to sleep with you.

But he was only an affair, much as they all were. The only time you felt you could leave him was in the night when he was fast asleep against your back. So that when he woke and walked out onto that balcony expecting to find you, Ulrich could watch the morning sun rise and think of you—think of you as you had been and as you were going to be. All he was left was an empty promise of We’ll meet again on a flimsy post-it note, stuck to the glass door of his balcony.

In Australia, you wound yourself tight into the thick accents and nights spent drunk at bars off of thick beer. Woman and men of all sorts tried to pull you in but left you high and dry when the morning rolled around, they would only faintly remember you when the sun shone through and work called their names. So you gave up on the pubs and turned to the ocean, spending hours on the sand, basking in the warmth and letting the sand stick to your damp skin.

It was midday, the tide having already come in when you spotted them. Marx and his sister Mickey had been jogging into the water, surfboards tucked underneath their tanned arms.

For the day, you watched them ride the waves as if they had been born to. Their bodies knew the water like an old friend, and when they fell into it, it enveloped them and stuck to their skin and hair, unwilling to let them go. You watched them until the sun set and the ocean became dark and monstrous, waves crashing louder and stronger than they had before. They made their giddy way across the sand and spotted you, smiling and dripping wet, sunburn coloring your cheeks. After explaining your situation, they took you in graciously as if you were their own. You fit yourself into the middle cushion of their couch and fit yourself snug into their lives as well.

Marx had given you pleasure, always tugging you back to bed whenever you tried to escape. He beckoned you with curly blonde hair and bitten cherry lips and tan skin. As soon as you looked back at him calling you back by your name, you would melt into his arms and sigh into the crook of his neck about how much you hated him. In his arms was by far your favorite place in Australia.

But Mickey, young, innocent, Mickey. She gave you a different kind of friendship you had never had before. You became her teller of secrets, gossiping over traveling and relationships, talking about boys and your personal meanings to life. You argued over your beliefs and goals and gave each other advice on hundreds of different things.

It was nearing the height of the summer, sweat a constant in the humidity, when you decided to pack your bags, only, this time, you left with something else besides an empty heart yearning for more adventures. Mickey had followed you to Hawaii.

The islands of Hawaii were much more than you expected. In Australia, Marx and Mickey had taught you how to surf—though badly—so when you pushed yourself out into the water with Mickey just a step behind, you were not thinking of the men or the drinks. All you could see was the clear water and the thousands of fish swimming beneath, coals lively and swaying like a breeze was running through their colorful bodies.

You stayed on the main island for almost two weeks before planning to pack your bags, but unlike you, Mickey had found herself a partner and you left her behind. Onto better things.

This brought you to Kahoni. He was going on vacation to get away from his parents and visit relatives that lived on the island for the summer. There you were, getting off the plane just as you were, in a natural state of happiness and euphoria. The both of you looked like complete messes, your tan finally settling into your skin, sun burn on your shoulders and high points of your face, but he was no better, his shirt stained and hair pushed in every direction. You turned to each other and smiled, as if already knowing that your stories were somehow intertwined.

When you jumped into his cab at the last second, not going to let the moment slip away, Kahoni changed his mind and asked the driver to turn the other way—towards the beach.

Kahoni showed you even more beautiful beaches and people and food. Letting you in on native secrets and taking you out for midnight fucks on the beach when the moon sparkled against the calm ocean took your breath away. He explored your daring side, fingering you in cabs and under the table in small restaurants where you could almost hear the person beside you breathing. He was exciting and intoxicating, always taking care of you and making sure you finished first, adoring it when you dug your nails into his obsidian hair and tugged on it when he fucked you, endless brow eyes drowning in yours. He would hold the door for you, buy you food and clothing fit of the Hawaiian heat and tied your shoes whenever they came undone in public.

Though you were his for the summer, he was not yours. Kahoni didn’t mind that you would go out on your own, venturing back when the sun was rising. He’d wake slightly when you climbed into bed next to him, but he’d never say a thing, only opening his arms to allow you to get closer. His only condition to the whole ordeal was that you come back to him one last night before you leave. On that fateful last day, you both booked flights out of the country and sloppily kissed goodbye at the flight gates and headed your separate ways.

As fall began to get beneath your skin, you had wound your way up to Alaska and Canada. The clothes you had packed and bought in the beginning were not fit for harsh winds, snow, and the cold. All your shoes were open-toed and you only brought along one pair of leggings. But, when you stopped at an outlet to go shopping for more weather appropriate clothes, you met Dean. He was a simple retail worker with silver hair and a good taste in music and lingerie.

Dean threw himself at you, knowing that you were what he needed to escape from his boring, small town life. So you equally threw yourself into his life, pulling him into your warmth for safe keeping. Not even a week later of crashing on his couch—really his bed—he was buying you gifts. Leaving prettily wrapped treasures around his underground apartment. Coats, wallets, purses—all things you would have to leave behind.

But, out of all of the things he had given you, a black silk nightie was your favorite. You had worn it for most of your stay in the cold climate of Canada. The only time you took it off was if you were fucking Dean or cleaning it.

Dean had what you found to be an extremely high sex drive, ravishing you on every surface of his apartment at any time of the day he wanted. You had fucked on almost every piece of furniture in a little bit over a week. The bed, the couch, the kitchen counter, against the windows, in his car, even on top of the grand piano he inherited from his mother and shoved into the corner of his living room—which had been untouched before you.

You were with him for three weeks before you packed up the silk piece—the only thing you would ever take away from Kieran besides yourself—and went on your way. You once again left in the middle of the night, the only thing hinting your absence was a sticky note you plastered to his fridge reading I’ll miss you in messy hand writing.

Hawaii had been enough for you, so instead of sauntering around the fifty states, you flew down to Mexico. Winter had also just begun and you didn’t think you could handle anything colder than what was in your heart.

There had been no one special for you in Mexico, but instead of losing yourself in the tall, dark men, you found yourself lain with the beautiful women. You had never been one for such a thing but when someone whispered Live a little, baby, you didn’t stop yourself like all those other times. You were enraptured by thick, silky black hair and chocolate eyes, heartwarming giggles and screams of your name.

You found yourself staying in Mexico for almost two months, riding out the rest of the winter in the heat of its beautiful country and enthralling clubs. The bars never closed and people stayed up all hours of the night, fucking and kissing and drinking and doing whatever the fuck they wanted because they could.

But there was still no one special that could keep you there one more night—besides maybe the deliciously spicy food—so you moved on with a longing kiss goodbye from some a woman you barely knew.

Although the South Americas were alike to Mexico, they were completely their own. The culture of both places thrived and lived within each person you had met. But in Brazil, the parties were greater than you had ever experienced. They were loud, rambunctious, and exactly what you had been searching for. Everyone was interested and captured by your presence, each wanting a taste of the foreigner.

But you never gave into them, already having been captured by a man named Caio. He was tall, looming over you at six feet and nine inches. He was broad and went to the gym every day. In his arms you felt protected and secure, indifferent to those around you as you had found a tall, dark haired, mysterious man for your own.

Although someone who looked like him could have been paid to be on television, he was a chef. It was what kept you turning around at the door each time—aside from his strong grip. The smell of heavenly food wafting from the kitchen kept you always hungry and yearning for more. He treated you to the delicacies of his native area as well as his own interests.

He brought you on hikes up mountains and through busy streets, tugging you along like a happy child, explaining the rich history of the cities and country. He even ventured so far as to take you to the statue of Christ the Redeemer, pressing a kiss to your cheek as a stranger snapped a picture of the two of you in front of it.

Being with Caio made you gain and lose so much weight you were going crazy. He would feed you then take you on longs walks or entice you into going into the gym with him. But you needed a break and so did he. The restaurant he worked at was asking to work dinners as well as breakfast and being the free heart you, wanted to be free as well. He drove you to the airport, helping you with your luggage, paying for your plane ticket, then slapping your ass as you walked away.

Just like in Southern America, you had become enchanted by the lavish culture of Africa. All the people were kind as well and you always felt like all your needs had been catered to the fullest and then more. In Africa, you became friends with a street artist. He had been painting you as you sat and watched people in a park, taking a break from your constantly moving lifestyle to sit back and appreciate life at its simplest. When you noticed him, he smiled—wide and gummy. You patted the free space next to you on the bench and he jogged across the park to meet you. He immediately introduced himself as Jai.

From then on, the two of you were inseparable. Jai showed you the culture that sprung from every corner and crevice and doorstep and you in turn became the centerpiece for many of his beautiful illustrations and paintings and sketches, your curves and edges drawn out in bright colors and dark charcoal. Some days, you would spend time watching him paint in his top floor suite that overlooked the Lagos in Nigeria; others, you would lay on the couch as he sketched out your naked body on a rough piece of parchment. Then, the two of you would go out into the city and talk for hours, mouths spewing information about the people you’ve met and the paces you’ve been and the things you’ve experienced.

You found yourself on a sex and alcohol strike with Jai, instead of going out for drinks, you sat with locals at mom-owned restaurants and talked about the differences of your homes and they taught you their native languages.

You stayed with Jai the longest of all, two months passing by quickly in the presence of someone you would come to call the most unique and kind-hearted person you’ve ever met. Jai was your best friend by the end of your time spent together. He had always longed of seeing places besides his own home country, always eating up your stories of midnight rendezvous and the different people and cities and landscapes. You were like a good book he never wanted to put down.

You offered to take him with you on your next venture to Russia and China but he refused, staying behind and wishing you well. You took down his address and promised to write if you could. He would try sending you a few letters later but you would never respond. It would be too hard to relive those memories without longing to go back.

You were only in Russia and China when you decided that you had depleted your bank account enough and experienced so much that you thought it time you finally returned home. You didn’t want to but you found yourself on a flight home, angry at the prospect of having to go back to dull routine and monotonous work. You had been gone for a year, age and new experiences nipping at your body, begging you to continue your journey. But you forcefully ignored the thoughts and took a cab back home.

The apartment was cold when you first stepped into it and your cat curled herself around your leg, meowing loudly, tail swinging around your ankles. Mail and reminders of taxes and papers reminding you of actual adult responsibilities loitered the table beside your front door. But you ignored those, scooped up your cat and fell into the warmth of your bed. Being an adult could wait another day.

The next morning, you rolled over at one in the afternoon, rubbing your tired eyes. You wanted to go back to sleep but responsibility ate away at you and dragged you out of bed, puppeteering you like a marionet around your apartment.

You read the notes left by your mother who had agreed to take care of your animal as you rushed out of the country on a whim. Your sweet mother had faithfully written out a letter each week she came over explaining things you had missed and you slowly took in everything she wrote on those pages. In one of the letters, you took note of your mom mentioning a man who was standing in front of your door one day she came by but left when she approached. She talked about how your cat had needed a vaccination and she took care of the vet bill for you. After putting your favorite letters in a drawer you turned to the tabe beside your front door covered in mail.

Your mother had said she looked through it and got rid of unimportant things but there was so many letters. You felt too hungry to take them on, on an empty stomach so you ordered for food delivery and started tackling the pile.

It would be a week before you managed to come out of your apartment—thank God for delivery and your mother bringing you food whenever you needed it. You filed all your taxes and caught up on all your bills and such. You even sent out a dozen applications for jobs that you thought you would enjoy. Thankfully, one company had replied within twenty-four hours, asking for an interview so they could go over your resume. It brought you into the heart of the city, a place you hadn’t been in over a year.

Despite being gone for over a year making your way across the globe and discovering yourself, life was granting you some peace and ease, giving you a job and letting you be financially stable despite all the money spent in foreign countries.

But of course, it’s not that easy and life decided to throw you a curve ball.

The early morning rush keeps you packed tight into the crowd, shoulders pressed together, head down as you try to make your way to work. But of course, with your luck, someone pushing against the crowd runs directly into you, of all people. You’re completely stunned and pissed off, completely bewildered at the disrespect some people possess. “Are you fucking—”

When you finally looked up at the person from the ground, you weren’t expecting to see a familiar face. Namjoon was grimacing, rubbing his wrist. Just like you had, he began angrily spewing off swears, but he finally looked down and saw you and it all faded away.

It takes Namjoon a second to register your face through your new haircut and color, but as soon as he realizes who he’s looking at, his expression turns from angry to confused. “What are you doing here and why did you run into me?” He accuses.

You push yourself up off the ground seeing as Namjoon clearly isn’t going to help you. “I think it’s you who ran into me.” You state mater-of-factually, dusting yourself off in annoyance.

You never expected that seeing him would bring such annoyance and anger.

The crowd walks around you, creating a wall on each side, making you feel like it’s just the two of you. “No, I—”

You cut Namjoon off, raising your hand to his face, “Listen, you were walking against the majority, take another route next time.”

He looks down at you dumbfounded. When you had been together, you would never say anything so snippy towards him, every word had been airy and light. But after a moment, he realizes that you grew up, much like he had. Things had changed in the long two years apart and he couldn’t expect things to be the way they had been.

“Look, I’d love to stay and chat but I have an actual job to get to.” You roll your eyes and walk away, your shoulder brushing his as you pass by.

When your shoulder brushes his, something snaps in him. In the time he was away, Namjoon had become sick of you pushing him away and ignoring his calls. Now, he just wanted closure as the last time you saw him you had been as fake as a Barbie doll. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he only wanted to fulfill his own dreams—he didn’t plan on leaving you behind either. Why couldn’t you just understand that and stop being a self-absorbed bitch?

Namjoon spins around to catch our wrist, but instead you’re already lost in the hundreds of people walking up the street and he has caught the hand of an old man, holding onto the stranger like his life depends on it. Namjoon apologizes and stalks off, making his way through the crowd once again.

You had never been a great cook, meaning that almost three nights a week, your mother would have to come over with leftovers so that you didn’t starve or waste all your money on take out. So, of course, when you hear a knock at the door, you rush over at the prospect of your mom’s home cooking.

Hastily, you hop off the couch and skid along the tile floors to the door, ready to devour whatever dish your mom has brought you today. “Mom, perfect timing.”

The world really is against you, isn’t it? Your mom isn’t standing there with food in a saran wrapped plate, instead, in her place is Namjoon, staring at you with scrunched brows and lips pressed to a thing line.

Namjoon pushes himself into your apartment, not saying anything until he’s standing in the middle of your kitchen. He grips the edge of your marble counter, knuckles white in frustration. “What. The. Fuck." He grits.

“How the fuck did you know where I live?” You seethe. Who the fuck does Namjoon think he is? Showing up to your apartment after two years and forcing his way in without saying anything.

Right now, you’ are just as angry as Namjoon and if you weren’t raised the way you were, you would be smacking him unconscious and then calling the police. “Do you not know what the internet is?” Namjoon laughs obnoxiously.

You stand with a blank face and Namjoon smirks as if saying I’m-so-much-smarter-than-you-ha-ha-ha. “Why can’t you just fucking let this go?” You ask after a pause, throwing up your arms in frustration. “I got over you a long time ago and I think you need to do the same.”

“If you’re over me, then why can I do this?”

Namjoon is in front of you before you can take another breath, his lips coming down on you like a waterfall. He pulls you into him from the waist like you’re the cure to his homesickness, and he drinks you up like an alcoholic returning to his poison. Your anger melts off you slowly and you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you trying to make up for all the lost time.

His lips fit in yours like a puzzle piece and you can’t help but think that this is what you had been searching for all this time. All those countries and all those men and women had never been made for you in the way that Namjoon was.

When he pulls back, he leans his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.” He presses a soft kiss to the tip of your nose and you close your eyes, leaning into the touch. “Can I kiss you?”

Namjoon had always asked you before kissing you, no matter what. It had become a quirk you were so used to and accustomed to that you almost forgot how special it made you feel. In the year you had been together, Namjoon had never not asked for your permission. When you once asked why he did it , he said that it was because he didn’t want to force you into an uncomfortable situation and he didn’t want to pressure you.

“Yes.” You breathe, tilting your head to capture his lips in yours.

His tongue dampens your bottom your lip and you slacken your jaw to allow him in. It’s breathless, sloppy, and full of the lust you’d been yearning for in the last year. Even after so long, Namjoon knows your body like his own and he grips you in just the right places to have you arching your back into him and moaning into his touch.

He pulls away again and the two of you are breathing heavy with bitten red lips and goofy smiles, staring into each other’s eyes passionately. Your hand slips down into his and you lock your fingers together tightly; he brings your hand up to his lips and peppers kisses against your knuckles.

You drag him to your bedroom and fall onto the mattress with an airy laugh. Namjoon kneels at the edge of the bed, placing himself between your spread legs. He runs his cold hand up the inside of your thigh, eliciting goosebumps up your legs as he pulls off your shorts, placing kisses where your skin is now bare.

Namjoon steadies his hands on your hips, massaging the skin carefully while leaving wet, open mouthed kisses along your pelvis. “Can I?” Namjoon asks, lips inches away from pantie line, tongue gliding over the bite marks he imprinted on your skin.

“Please.” You helplessly breathe, threading your fingers through his hair, trying to tug him closer to where you needed and missed him the most.

Within seconds, the thin fabric of your undergarments is thrown to the other side of the room and Namjoon’s cold fingers circles your clit. He’s careful to wind you up slowly, the pleasure bubbling up calmly so he can take his time with you and adore you in all the ways you deserve. It’s hard to keep your legs spread open for him, your instinct being to wrap your thighs around his head and suffocate him in your heat.

Namjoon makes a V with his fingers and slides them up your heat, trapping your slit in between his ring covered digits. With a moan, you arch your back into the cool feeling of the steel rings and his cold fingers against your sex. Namjoon pulls away but repeats his action again, holding your waist down with his other hand as your hips rock into the sensation. Your body is already shivering under him and Namjoon can’t help but feel cocky that you’re so quickly unraveled by a few simple strokes.

He dips his head, grabbing your legs to pull you closer to him so he can lay his tongue flat against your heat. His tongue delves between your slit and you grip his hair even tighter, biting down on your bottom lip to hold back your groggy moans. But the breath in your lungs is stolen away when he swirls his tongue around your clit and takes it between his full lips.

Electricity sizzles through your abdomen and you scream his name, so foreign yet so familiar on your lips. Namjoon smiles against your cunt and massages the inside of your thighs softly as he takes your clit between his lips again, sucking on the sensitive bundle.

You rock yourself against his face shamelessly, soaking up the pleasure and electrifying it as his tongue dances deceitfully against you. You need him, had always needed him, and the knots in your stomach and the anxiety you had ignored for so long were dissipating under him, slithering away with a sad smile.

Namjoon lets you ride out your orgasm against him, thumb pressing circles into your clit, tongue dancing around your dripping cunt. You breathe heavily as your orgasm dies down and Namjoon pulls away, wiping his chin with the back of his hand.

“Let me make love to you,” Namjoon smiles and presses a kiss against the damp skin of your neck. You nod and run your nails lightly down his back, lifting your leg as he pushes his pants down and presses his tip to your entrance. Namjoon hovers over you for a moment, eyes nervous. “Do you remember our safe word?”

You nod and tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling you closer to you. Namjoon slides into you naturally and your walls stretch deliciously around him. He bites down on his bottom lips, screwing his eyes shut at the feeling of you around him again. Namjoon takes a moment to gather himself, taking deep breathes and laying his head on your shoulder.

When you begin to tighten around him, he mewls like a kicked puppy, hips jerking. “Namjoon.” You breathe in his hair, pressing kisses into his temple as you run your hand up back. He shakes his head but finally starts to move, pulling himself back before thrusting into you.

His hard cock presses into the heat of your tight cunt and every time he pulls out the erotic sound of your two bodies joining together meets your ears. Namjoon angles himself into you in a way he knows oh so well, so when he snaps his hips to meet yours, his cock slides over that special bundle of nerves with each thrust. He sets a pace of long, slow thrusts. Each one sends waves of heat over your already scorching muscles. You feel spent from your first orgasm but a second one rising out of nothing, urging you to spread your legs farther and tighten even more around him.

You close your eyes and give into the feeling of him inside of you, nothing like the men before him. He knows your body so well, is always knows exactly where to be and when. He knows the places that make you scream his name and dig your nails into his back like he’s asking for it—and he pretty much is.

But, he surprises you when his finger starts to swirl around your clit again. Your thighs shake from the pressure building in your stomach and you don’t know how much longer you can hang onto this very thin thread he has you hanging from. You pull Namjoon closer and press your lips messily against his.

You bite down on his bottom lip and curl your tongue into his mouth. But it proves too hard to keep yourself together as his thrusts become harder and more urgent. You lean your head back into the mattress and let the pleasure wash over you, cleansing you like a baptism.

Arched off the sheets, legs locking Namjoon against your chest, lips parted. A cry grows in your chest, traveling up to spill over the tip of your tongue and leave your trembling lips. Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon.

He snaps his hips and finishes inside of you, locking your lips in his to hold back the animalistic grunts rumbling from his chest. Namjoon grips your hips with both hands as you pulse around him, grabbing him from reality and dragging him ever so much closer to you.

In space and time, there is a place for you. Namjoon knows this now. Though it may not work out later, he knows, really knows that no one will ever replace the space you take up in his world. It’s a god damned big space but as long as, in this moment, with you crying out his name with euphoria dripping off your tongue like a symphony, if he stays just for a moment, it won’t matter in the end. It won’t matter because this is love. This is the ring on the finger and the deal breaker all in one.

The end of your third year out of college brought nights spent wondering who you were, but also knowing that being tucked between the wall and his chest like this would be enough. Nights were spent up late working and sipping expensive wine on your couch while reruns of shows you’ve already watched play in the background. Summer had been a blessing and a curse, with a new husband and a baby on the way, you knew everything would turn out alright in the end.

note : inspired by the songs “Hotline Bling” by Drake and “White Lie” by Jhameel. this turned out longer than i expected but happy birthday, namjoon!

Thank you for reading! Find more from me, July, here.

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deztinywarriors · 7 years ago

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ES Spectre 2.0 Chapter 7-5

#Playchoices #Endless Summer #ES #fanfic #adventure

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iwriteficsnottragediesladies · 7 years ago

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Choosing to Stay

Requests:

Hi umm can you do an angsty brendon x reader where the reader is emotionally abused by her family like degrading her calling her stupid and she starts questioning her existence then brendon’s her bestfriend and confesses to her and itll be fluffy and shit

Do you think you could write a kinda angsty fluff where the reader’s parents kick her out and Bren comes to the rescue :) god I love your writing

A/N: This is what I came up with, I hope you like it.

Tws: verbal abuse, suicidality, happy ending

“For fuck’s sake Y/n, we already talked about this,” Your father shouted, “You can’t keep doing this shit.”

“Dad, I’m sorry. I couldn’t focus, I was so nervous,” you reply quietly.

“I don’t care how you felt,” He scoffs, shutting you down, “This is just not good enough, Y/n!”

“I’m sorry Dad,” you repeat, “I studied so hard—“

“Clearly not hard enough,” He snapped. “God why can’t you be more like your sister?’” He says exasperated, “You see how successful she is, on her way to medical school? She makes me proud.”

“What?” you cried, “You’re ashamed of me, is that what you’re saying?”

“Well you certainly don’t have much to show for yourself do you?” He hissed.

“Mom?” you looked to her and pleaded, praying she would step in.

“You need to get your grades up,” she says seriously.

“Go to your room and study, you idiot,” Your father waved you away, “Maybe you can try to make something of yourself.”

You walked down the hallway and into your room. You shut the door and sat on your bed, staring down at your quilt, running your fingers over the squares. You had made it yourself, out of your favorite old t-shirts. You remember when you showed your parents, so happy with how it came out. Your dad took one look at it and asked you, ‘What kind of shitty rag do you think that is?’

He always had to take things away from you. Anytime you felt successful, he had to take it away from you. And your mom was practically just as bad. She was so passive and always let your dad blow up. You guess she must agree with him but doesn’t have the voice to say it herself.

Your sister was always the star of the show—a valedictorian, star softball pitcher, president of the debate team equipped with a full ride at Johns Hopkins. And then there was you—an uncoordinated, mediocre student riddled with social anxiety and lacking any sort of leadership ability.

Tears roll down your face as you pondered your father’s words.

not good enough

why can’t you be more like your sister

you certainly don’t have much to show for yourself do you

you idiot

try to make something of yourself

You would never be your sister. You were an idiot and your grades were proof. You didn’t have trophies or medals to display proudly on your dresser. You were going nowhere in life. And most importantly, you were not good enough. For anything. Academics, sports, friends, relationships… You have no right to be on this planet. Your father had a point.

You contributed absolutely nothing to the world. You had nothing to offer. You might as well disappear. Your parents obviously wouldn’t miss your meaningless existence. Who would?

Well, maybe Brendon would.

You had been close since freshmen year. You met on the very first day of school in homeroom. You kind of used each other to get accustomed to high school—it was a way to never have to eat alone or have to ask a random person to help them open your locker because you forgot which way to spin the dial first. Eventually it became a lot more than just a logistically advantageous friendship. You both had so much in common.

He loved music like you did. He was so amazing at it too, between his singing and piano and guitar and the general ability to pick up any piece of music and make it his own. It was beautiful. It was pure art.

You always felt special around him and he treated you like you were really worth something. He always listened to you so intently, genuinely interested in every word you spoke.

But that was three years ago. You started to grow apart, mostly because your classes and lunch periods never aligned quite right, so you had to branch out to other people. Brendon did that effortlessly with his vivacious yet gentle personality. You, on the other hand, struggled to make a single friend. You successfully made some connections with a few people, so you had people to eat with and talk to during class, but they were barely more than acquaintances to you. None of them could even compare to your friendship with Brendon.

You decide to read the assigned chapter for your history class. It is a futile attempt, as you can’t see through your tears and can’t comprehend the words through your pain. Your inability to learn only affirms your worst thoughts.

You’re an idiot. Worthless. Why can’t you be smart? Like your sister? Your parents wouldn’t miss you if you were gone because they would still have Susie, their favorite daughter. You’ve always been second best.

You give up and get in bed. The bad thoughts play in your head over and over again. You think about ending it all. All it would take was a pair of scissors… a belt… it wouldn’t be hard. It’s not rocket science. It’s darkness. Quiet. Sleep. Peace.

No. You scold yourself for having those thoughts. There must be some reason to stay, some reason you were here. But you just couldn’t think of a single one.

You cry yourself to sleep, thinking about how you could stop the pain you felt. It hurt too much. You just couldn’t take it anymore. You pray maybe you just won’t wake up tomorrow. It would make it easy.

You wake up to your alarm in the morning. You’re still alive. Maybe that’s a sign you should keep going. You get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom. You are greeted by your horrific reflection. Puffy eyes and such a tired expression. You try to think of a time you’ve ever felt pretty or comfortable in your own skin.

In no time you’re ready to go to school. You enter the kitchen and see a paper bag with your name on it. Your mom had packed you a lunch. How sweet of her. A small smile is drawn on your lips. Maybe she felt bad about last night. Just as you finished your thought, she entered the room. You sling your bag over your shoulder.

“You packed me a lunch?” You ask.

“Yeah, sweetie,” she replied quickly, “I think it would be good to… stay away from that cafeteria food for a while.”

“Oh?” You responded with an inquisitive look.

“You know, it’s very… high in calories,” she slowed, “and I just thought that you look a little… heavy lately.”

“Really?” you freeze up.

“Your clothes are getting all stretched out,” she offered up an example. “You would look so nice without that extra weight.”

“Oh um, okay,” you fumble, “I’ll see you later.”

You shove the bag into your back pack and walk out to the bus stop. Tears welled in your eyes. You were right all along–you were fat and ugly. You were stupid to think any different. You should have listened when your dad called you ‘Miss Piggy’ last week. You take up too much space, yet another reason to end it all.

You trudge through the school day. You get an exam back in calculus and it’s an F as per usual. Idiot.

You sit at lunch and look to see what your mother had packed: an apple, crackers, and a few small slices of cheese. The ration was so small and bland. Were you really that fat? Your stomach growls for the remainder of the day in protest of such a small meal.

You decide to text Brendon, because why the fuck not? You miss having him in your life. You desperately need someone to tell you that everything will be okay. Maybe he would agree with your parents though because everyone else seems to. You might as well try because Brendon was your last hope. You conclude that he would be the deciding factor, to stay or to let go.

Hey Brendon

Hey stranger, how have you been?!

Good, how about you?

Good good. Do you have study hall next period?

Yeah

We should meet up cause it’s been forever

You hesitate. What if you disappoint him with who you’ve become since the last time you talked? You were such a disappointment to everyone, why would Brendon feel any differently? You still say yes. He was would be the final straw.

Yeah sure. Library?

Perfect, see you then

When the bell rings you make your way to the library. You take a deep breath and enter. You see Brendon sitting in what used to be your usual hangout spot. It makes you smile a bit. Brendon’s face lights up when he sees you.

“Hey y/n!” He says quietly and gives you a big hug. You had forgotten how good his embrace felt.

“Hey Brendon,” you smile at him as he releases you. You set your bag down and sit. You force a smile as Brendon looks at you from his corner seat next to you. You always sat there because you could talk to each other without having to shout across the table.

“What’s up homegirl?” He asked with that patented smirk. You had almost forgotten about those nicknames you used.

“Not much homeboy,” you reply with a true smile. “Are you still working on your music?”

“Yeah!” He replies enthusiastically, “I’ve been doing a lot of writing. I like making my own stuff you know. You get to create something that has never been made before, you know?”

Brendon never failed to be introspective. You loved that.

“That’s amazing Brendon,” you reply.

“Hey you should take the composition class with Mr. Soli with me next semester!” He thought aloud.

“That sounds really cool,” you reply, “but I don’t think I would be good enough for that class. That is more your level.”

“What do you mean, Y/n?” He furrows his brow, “You’re an incredible writer. I’ve always loved your songs.”

“Yeah I don’t know,” you say quietly, looking down at your shoes with a frown.

“Y/n,” he started, “is everything okay?”

You should have known he would see through you. He always read you like a book. Put that together with how you suddenly contacted him… He could put two and two together very easily.

“Yeah, yeah,” you brush it off, “I’m all good.”

“Okay,” he accepted your answer wearily.

You continued on with your conversation. Before you knew it, the bell was ringing. You exchanged goodbyes. As you start to leave Brendon suddenly interjects.

“Y/n,” he said, “You know you can talk to me, right? About anything.”

“I know,” you reply simply with an empty smile.

When you arrive home your mom greets you. You go to grab a snack from the cabinet but she stops you.

“You don’t want that many extra calories today, do you?” She asked. Although it was a question, it was obviously a command.

“Okay,” you put the snack back.

“Dad and I are going to Frank and Donna’s dinner party tonight, so there is a salad for you in the fridge for dinner.” She reminded you.

You retreat to your room and it’s not long before your dad comes home. You hope he’ll just leave you alone and go to the party without talking to you.

“Y/n?” You hear your dad call. Fuck. You hesitantly enter the kitchen.

“Did you get your exam back from calculus today?” Your Dad inquired. You nod. “What did you get?”

“A 58%” you mutter. Your dad sighs and hits his fist on the table, causing you and your mother to jump.

“Y/n,” he yelled, “Why can’t you get anything right? Are you retarded or something?”

“Im sorry Dad,” you look down at the ground but his glare still cutting through you.

“What are you going to do with your life, huh?!” He questioned, “You’re an idiot!”

Your eyes well up and a tear rolls over the brim.

“I’m trying dad,” you beg him to understand.

“You’re useless,” he scoffs, “Completely worthless.”

“I know,” you whisper. You agreed with him, so what would be the point of arguing anyway?

“Stop crying!” He shouted, “Go to your room and do your homework. Maybe learn something. We’re leaving.”

You walk back to your room in tears. You can hear the garage door shut and you know you’re alone.

You’re an absolute mess. You are sobbing and hardly able to breathe, sputtering and coughing on your own spit, snot and tears.

You’re an idiot. Worthless. Fat. Failure. Not going anywhere.

Dead end.

The pair of scissors on your desk catch your eye. You walk over and pick them up, spinning the handle around a finger. You sit down and hold the closed blades in your hand, the metal cooling the palms of your sweaty hands.

You hate yourself. There was no way to better yourself. None of that was going to change. May as well end it now and avoid a lifetime of being worthless and a poor excuse of a daughter.

Your parents? They have made it clear they don’t want you around. They won’t miss you. Your sister? She’ll go on with her wildly successful life just fine. Your teachers? They won’t miss having your stupidity in the class, having to repeat the information over and over again for you. Your friends? Your fair weather, small talk friends will be just fine. Brendon?

Oh shit.

But Brendon.

The thought of him caused another choked sob escape.

‘You know you can talk to me, right? About anything’

You don’t know if you can stop yourself from what you are wanting to do. Everything hurt. You can’t live like this anymore.

You pick up your phone before you can think about it too much and pull up his number.

Calling Brendon

“Hey Homegirl,” he answered in his usual jovial tone, happy to see you called, “What’s up?” You attempt to pull yourself together enough to speak but it’s pointless.

“Bren,” you reply breathlessly, your voice drowning in tears, struggling to make a coherent sound.

“Y/n?” Brendon is shocked. “What’s wrong?” He asked quickly.

“I c-can’t brendon,” you sputter, “i just can’t anymore,”

“Can’t what, y/n?” Brendon asked gently, trying to understand.

“Brendon please, I’m about to do something stupid,” you admitted through your tears.

“Y/n, where are you right now?” Brendon asked seriously. He seemed to get exactly what was happening.

“In my room,” you breathe out.

“I’m on my way right now,” he reassured you.

“No don’t,” You spit weakly.

“Y/n, I’m coming over,” he repeated. He wasn’t going to leave you alone like this. You guess you wanted him to do that subconsciously or you wouldn’t have called him.

“Okay,” you fold so easily, knowing that you need him.

“Listen to me,” He directed, “I want you to put down anything you have in you hands, clear everything off your bed, everything in reach, and sit in the middle of your bed until I get there, okay? Can you do that for me?”

“Mhm,” you confirm. You can hear the engine of his care turn over in the background.

“I’m going to be there soon, just sit right there, okay?” He told you.

“Okay, bye,” you replied

“See in you in a second,” he finished.

You did exactly as Brendon said. You put the scissors down. You took all of your school work off of your bed and put it on the floor. You scooted the night table away out of your reach. You sat in the center of your mattress, your phone in front of you.

You breathed in. You breathed out. You tried to fill your mind with the rhythm of your breathing, but the bad thoughts still slipped in. You can’t believe this is what your life has become. You have gotten to the point where you would truly rather die than live.

You grew up with two parents, a sister and a cat in a middle class suburb. Your dad was a dick, but other than that, life was pretty good. Nothing horrible or traumatic has happened to you. Yet here you were, trying to push what a pair of scissors could accomplish out of your mind.

You continued to cry, feeling absolutely helpless.

The doorbell rang and you hear Brendon banging on the door. You get off of your bed and start to make your way to the front door.

“Y/n?” Brendon called against the wood door, “Y/n open the door.”

You pull the door open and you stand looking at each other for a moment. Brendon takes in your appearance: you red face soaked with tears that have fallen all the way down to wet your shirt, your hair in utter disarray.

“Tell me you haven’t done anything already, Y/n,” he asked with pain and worry deep in his eyes. You shake your head.

“No, no,” you tell him, “You stopped me Brendon. I was going to do it, I really was.” You started crying at the realization that you really were about to end your life if you hadn’t called him. You then throw yourself into him and start sobbing all over again. Brendon wraps you in his arms and you stay there, just like that, in your doorway for a while.

“You’re going to be okay, Y/n,” Brendon whispered to you, “You’re going to be alright. We’re going to work this out, whatever it takes.”

“I love you so much, Brendon, thank you,” You pull away from him and gratefully.

“Thank you, Y/n,” He says. You look at him curiously. “Thank you for choosing to stay.”

A/n: Okay, I hope that wasn’t too bad. I really like this fic because I had someone do this for me, and I have done it for other people. Sometimes knowing someone cares is all it takes to keep going to the next day. I love you guys so much, I care about each and every one of you. Please contact me if you need anything. I will be your sign to keep going.

Like and reblog if you’re feelin’ it.

#brendon urie #brendon urie x reader #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #panic at the disco #panic attack #depression #reader #happy ending

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teamkaiforever · 7 years ago

Photo

Fearless - Part III

Kai Parker x Reader word count : 2 648 warning : slight smut * gif by lightwoodxalec

___________________ Y/N and Kai sneaked around a lot the following few weeks. Kai would wait for her in the morning driving her to school when her parents thought she would get a ride with one of her friends. Then later in the day he’d wait for her classes to end. A couple of times he had even sneaked into her classes , startling her. He had worked his magic in a way that she’d always be able to see him when he is cloaked. It was distracting when he was around , specially when there were tests and he kept telling her all the right answers. Kai wasn’t doing it on purpose , he just wanted her to exit the class room early so they could be together. Y/N protested always , glancing at him , giving him warning looks but he’d only grin at her.

“You know this stuff anyways. I am just speeding up the process…” he’d say with an innocent expression on his face. “I am just selfish and I want to be with you every minute of every day.” he’d whisper in her ear , getting her to lose her concentration completely so she’d have no other option but let him tell her all the answers.

It was barely Monday and Y/N wanted nothing to do with school. All she wanted was to be with Kai and this time on the test , she didn’t even protest. Barely 15 minutes into the class , she got up handing her teacher the completed test. “Keep this up and you will be valedictorian.” she said , glancing at the paper. Y/N only smiled awkwardly , feeling a peck of guilt, and walked towards the door with Kai following barely two steps away from her. As soon as they were outside the classroom , he pulled her into the cloaking spell. Kai snaked his hands around her waist , resting his chin on her shoulder. “What do you want to do now , princess ?” he asked. “ We are cloaked and I bet there is an empty classroom somewhere … Yep , down the hall there is one.” “Kai , we can’t … someone will hear. We’ll get caught.” “No , we won’t.” he said spinning her around and slowly backing her against the lockers. “No one would even know what had happened. We have … like 25 minutes before the bell rings.” said Kai , his hand slowly sliding under her dress. Y/N could feel his fingertips slowly tracing up her thigh and her mind started to get foggy. Kai grinned at her knowing well the effect he had on her, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “I want you … here. Now.” His fingertips traced her folds through her panties for a few moments before he pushed them to the side. “And you are already so wet.” he whispered again , just as the tip of his middle finger pressed a little at her entrance. Y/N could feel her cheeks flush , a low moan escaping her lips as Kai pushed in slowly his finger inside her warmth. He dipped his head , leaving wet kisses on her neck pushing another finger inside her. There was no way she’d say no to him , her self control had slipped away completely. “20 minutes…” she whispered , her hand sliding between their bodies into his jeans. A low growl came from Kai’s throat and he pulled out his fingers. Y/N grabbed his hand , licking wet his fingers while looking at him in the eyes watching him lick his lip , a low groan following. Next thing she knew Kai had whooshed them away into the empty classroom , locking the door behind them.

* * *

A few days later Kai sneaked into her bedroom in the middle of the night. “Y/N?” he said , laying on his side on her bed , stroking her cheek gently. “Wake up…” he whispered to her , lightly shaking her shoulders , his hand covering her mouth making sure she wouldn’t scream. Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and the closed again , catching a glimpse of Kai in the darkness. Suddenly she shot up straight in her bed , her eyes wide. She grabbed his wrist , pushing his hand off her mouth. “Are you crazy ?” she said in a hushed voice. “It’s 2.30AM , I don’t mind being woken up by you but … my parents are down the hall!” Kai tried to say something but Y/N shushed him with a kiss rolling on top of him. “Lock the door.” she whispered , waiting to hear the lock. “Why are you here ? Is everything OK ?” Kai sighed ,his hands holding onto her hips. “I had .. a nightmare.The worst one ever and .. I had to come see you. I know it’s risky… I just..” he swallowed hard. “I hate being away from you , not being in the same place as you at night.” “What was the nightmare about?” “You.” he said so quietly , if she hadn’t been listening probably would’ve missed it. “I dreamt that I lose you. We um … we were walking down the street at night and this car showed up. I tried to stop it but my magic wasn’t working and I wasn’t a vampire anymore … couldn’t heal you and you … … you died in my arms.” said Kai , his voice breaking at the last words. Even in the darkness Y/N could see tears in his eyes at the memory of the nightmare. She rested her head on his chest , her fingers brushing through his hair. “It was just a dream. We will always be together… I won’t let anything or anyone separate us.” she said softly , kissing his cheek. “Tell you what , I’ll talk with my parents… No , no calm down.” she said seeing the terror in his eyes. “I’ll come up with something and I’ll stay over at your place some nights of the week… and after graduation , it will be just you and me.” Kai’s eyes lit up at her words and a small smile showed on his face. He seemed to calm down a bit from his nightmare and the idea of spending his nights with Y/N was more than appealing to him. He pulled her in for a kiss , rolling on top of her. “I would love nothing more than to wake up beside you in the morning…” he whispered to her. “Every single day for the rest of my life.” Kai hessitated for a moment before continuing. His nightmare earlier in the night had impacted him more deeply than he cared to admit , he needed to tell her. “I love you , Y/N.” he whispered to her , Y/N heart skipping a beat at his words. “I should’ve said it before…but I need you to know this. I don’t want something bad to happen to you without you knowing how much I love you.” he kissed her forehead. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” “I .. I love you too , Malachai , more than I could put into words.” Y/N could see the devilish spark in his eyes even more clearly in the dark. He leaned in , kissing her fiercely. She pushed off his jacket , pulling him closer before remembering where they were and that they couldn’t do anything , yet … she didn’t stop him. “I can’t wait until tomorrow … so I can have you all to myself.” he whispered tracing her jawline with his finger before rolling onto the bed next to her pulling her towards him , her head on his chest and her hand where his heart is.

In the morning Kai had woken up before her. He loved watching her sleep. Around 7AM he heard footsteps down the hall. He kissed Y/N awake before quickly getting off her bed, taking his jacket and cloaking himself. Y/N woke up from the sudden disappearance of Kai from under her and just as she was about to call out for him , there were knocks on the door. “Y/N? Are you awake ? You are going to be late for school …” Elena’s voice sounded through the door , trying to open it. “Why is your door locked ?” Y/N quickly got up from the bed , rushing towards the door. “Sorry , mom. I was so tired last night , I must’ve locked it without realising.” she said popping her head in the hallway. Her mother held a cup of coffee , handing it to her. “Thanks.” “You must’ve been really tired , considering you slept through your alarm… you have 10 minutes to get ready and head to school unless you want to be late.” her mom said with a smile before heading downstairs. Y/N closed the door , resting her back against it while taking a sip from her coffee. “That was close…” she muttered under her breath , glancing at Kai who was grinning at her. “See you at school ?” Y/N left her coffee cup on her desk , hooking her hands around Kai’s neck before kissing him. “How about I skip school … and we spend the day together ?” Suddenly Kai tightened his grip on her waist , a low growl escaping from his throat. “Go downstairs. Now. I’ll call you later.” he said , kissing her briefly before disappearing through the window.

Y/N had no idea what was happening downstairs but got dressed as quickly as she could , grabbed her bag as if she’d be going to school and rushed into the living room quickly pulling her hair in a ponytail. “Hey .. I’m off to - ” she said freezing on the spot noticing Bonnie was in the house. The past few months Bonnie hadn’t visited them and her being there made Y/N nervous , specially after the way Kai had acted upstairs before he left. “W-what is going on ?” “Nothing , sweetie … just go to school.” said Elena , but Y/N didn’t buy it. “Dad ?” Damon glanced at his daughter with a pained expression on his face. He took a sip from his coffee looking at the ground. “You always tell me everything… why not tell me now ?” Damon cleared his throat. “We are going to spend a few days at your mother’s cabin. Come right back home after school.” “It’s the middle of the week. I am a senior , I can’t just skip classes plus there are tests coming up…” “It’s all taken care of.” said Caroline popping into the living room with a lunch paperbag. Y/N let out a frustrated sigh. No wonder Kai had left in such a rush. Caroline was a vampire , she could hear him upstairs… or maybe she already had. Y/N knew what all of this was about. They knew Kai was back in town. How had they found out ? “Well , have fun at your cabin get away trip. I am staying here and its not up for discussion.” Y/N said with a serious look on her face. “OH and before any of you try anything … just remember what happened last time.” She turned on her heels heading for the door but Caroline blocked her way. “Klaus is coming. He found out Elena is a human again and he wants to give his hybrid army another shot.” she said , opening the door for Y/N. “We can assume he knows about your existance too. So , yeah. You are going away with your parents until this all blows over.” Y/N walked outside , her mind spinning , and turned around. “Maybe he doesn’t.. and if he doesn’t know , then it is for the best to keep it that way. So again - NO. I am NOT going anywhere. I can just stay over at a friend’s house until this all taken care of.” Everyone glared at her as if she was insane. “Trust me , I’ll be safer that way. Don’t wait up for me.”

Y/N got in her car , dialing Kai’s number as soon as she was out of vampire hearing earshot. He picked up almost instantly. “I did not see that one coming.” Y/N said , listening to him laugh. “You can stay over at my place until this blows over. I am the friend you were talking about right ?” “W-were you listening in ? Where are you ?” A few seconds later Y/N saw Kai pop up on the side of the road. She stepped on the breaks so hard , the tires screeched and lightly started to smoke. Kai laughed and got in the car with her. “You are not allowed to drive my car.” he said with a serious tone. (‘Shut up.’ Y/N mouthed to him , laughing.) Are you still going to school today ? If so , I am coming with you. No way I am letting you out of my sight until Klaus is out of Mystic Falls.“ “I have to.” she sighed , “Otherwise if someone calls them and tells them I never showed , they’d think Klaus kidnapped me or something… ” Y/N started the car and headed for her high school. She parked the car on the school’s parking lot. For a few moments she just stared out the front window trying to figure out how her life had turned out so complicated all of the sudden. Everything had been perfect and something just had to happen to mess it up. “You can still change your mind …” “No. There is not enough time.” Y/N turned around smashing her lips against his. “Cloak yourself , we have to go. The bell will ring in … 3 , 2 ,1.” … and just by que the school bell rang marking the start of another school day.

First period went well. Or as well as Y/N could’ve hoped. Things started going south around noon. Kai had gone to pick up their lunch leaving her alone for a few minutes in the crowd on the front yard. “What does a beautiful girl like you does sitting all alone at lunch , love ?” Y/N glanced towards the direction the voice had come from. The guy had an unmistakable accent. The moment she lay eyes on him she knew who he was. “Enjoying the sunshine.” she said as calmly as she could , knowing well he could probably hear her heart beat getting faster. “It’s a lovely day , don’t you think?” Klaus sat across from her , his hands clasped on the table in front of him. He met her eyes realising she hadn’t dropped her gaze for a second , following his every move. “Yes , it is.” he agreed. “You look too old to be a student. … and too old in general , Klaus.” Klaus looked surprised she knew who he was and hadn’t ran away yet. Her hands were clasped on the table in front of her too and he wondered why she was acting so calm. “My reputations preceeds me , fantastic. Let’s skip to the fun part then , shall we ?” “I don’t think so.” Y/N said getting up and taking her bag. “I have classes which I do not intend on missing just because a psychotic stranger decided to use me as bait to try to get to my parents.” Klaus grabbed her wrist , his grip so strong it felt as if he might break her hand just to make a point. “Sit down.” he said , his hybrid nature showing for a moment. “Or I will make a spectacle of your death right here in front of all your friends.” Y/N glanced at him. “What would Caroline say … when she finds out you killed me ? Do you think she will ever forgive you killing her god daughter ?” He let go the grip of her wrist , anger clearly written on his face. “That’s what I thought… ” Y/N took a few steps towards the school , noticing Kai coming straight at her with their take out. She smiled relieved to see him and the next moment his eyes widened in terror. Someone grabbed her , putting a hand over her mouth , the world around her going dark in a second.

MASTERLIST March / April 2017 MASTERLIST MAY 2017 MASTERLIST JUNE 2017

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roosterteethinserts · 8 years ago

Text

Confessing

An: Idk how to title so here we go. I finished this, so here you go. I wasn’t sure if Trevor had a younger sister, but I just wrote one for plot purposes. Also, happy 14 years RT! May there be many more!!

Y/F/N= Your friend’s name, if you didn’t know

Au-Highschool AU

Pair-Trevor Collins x Reader

Warnings-Mentions of school, underaged alcohol use, innapropriate dancing (make room for jesus, people), throwing up, drunkenness, confessions,

Word Count-2727

Summary-Y/N is the top student of Rydell, and seen as the good girl. At the end of the year party, Y/F/N gets drunk and has to be saved by Y/N. Y/N, along with the help of Trevor, get Y/F/N home safely. Trevor confesses to Y/N even though they both didn’t think that they liked each other.

Parties were common throughout the beginning and end of the school year, but the best one was the end of the year party thrown by the star quarterback in the varsity football team. Everyone geared up for it, readying a date or an outfit for the Friday night. It was one of the few parties where everyone had to be there, and it was the most anticipated party of the year.

As the top student in Rydell High, it wasn't in my desire to go to the end of the year party. With the last few weeks coming and finals approaching, teachers and other students asked for my help. The teachers asked to help with grading papers and making things to help students with the finals. The students asked for help in the subjects they were failing or just generally needed help on. I barely had time in my schedule to study and do my homework to even be able to think about it.

Sitting on one of the chairs at our usual lunch table, Y/F/N seemed to guide the conversation towards the thing everyone was talking about: the party tonight. I just stayed silent, chewing on the pasta that the cafeteria gave for lunch today. I made a mental note to myself to go to the school's library after school to check out a book for my book report during the conversation.

Y/F/N snapped me out of my zoning out with a question: "Y/N, can you PLEASE come tonight? I really want to meet up with Jeremy and it'd be boring without you."

I rolled my eyes, "I'd rather not go to the party and be an awkward third wheel with Trevor."

Y/F/N pouted, "Please? I want to spend time with Jeremy, especially since it's the end of the year and we're going to be graduating. Plus we both know that you like him. You might not get another chance to be with him after graduation." I groaned, "You don't need me then. I need to work on the book report that's due in two weeks, and Mr.Johnson will be keeping me after school until five for some tutoring sessions."

Y/F/N sighed, "You need to take a break. I can already tell that you need one. You're going to be all burnt out by finals, and you'll hate yourself for not taking breaks because of your grades."

I thought about my options. I could still say no and make Y/F/N mad, or I could say yes and make Y/F/N happy. The first option seemed more comfortable. I wouldn't have to get dressed up and be in a crowded house of drunk people. But the second option is the one that I went with. Making them happy would be better in the long run. Plus, being able to relax every once in awhile sounded better than stressing the next two weeks and losing the chance of being valedictorian due to bad test scores.

The rest of the school day went smoothly. I copied papers for a teacher during my study hall, and during class I answered a lot of the questions the teachers gave out. It was a typical day, but everyone was buzzing about the party tonight. Even the teachers seemed to be happy that the students were joining together to celebrate the end of the year.

With mentoring two students after school each day, we've grown a connection between us. I always supported them in their hardworking attitude to improve their grades. An A on a test meant that they'd get any treat they wanted as long as they promised to improve. By now, I didn't really need to help my original two and I've worked on another pair. One of them being Trevor's little sister. She wasn't especially in need of the Calculus help since she was doing pretty well in class, it was more like she needed some help with explaining some of the concepts that she got confused on every once in awhile during the homework.

It was the time near the end where we both got bored and didn't even want to look at another math problem. I usually asked her if she needed help with her other classes, which usually she didn't. Occasionally, she'd ask me to look over an essay or to check her homework, but today she didn't have anything.

When I asked her why she was all caught up she smiled, "I'm ready for the party tonight. I know that I won't do the homework during the weekend so I decided to get ahead."

I nodded my head and she asked me curiously, "Are you going to the party tonight,Y/N?"

I shook my head, "I don't really like the party scene, especially with people that I don't particularly like."

She pouted, "You can come hang out with my brother. It'll be fun, I promise."

Thinking about seeing Trevor, I felt my heartbeat speed up. I did have a bit of a crush on him. I mean, he was pretty cute, and incredibly intelligent. Plus his personality wasn't the worst. But, whenever I've been around him, he's been awkward around me, as if he doesn't like me.

I simply told her, "I don't think I'll go tonight. I hope you have fun though."

We ended the tutoring a few minutes later. She left the classroom, leaving me alone in my thoughts. I could go to the party since I'm technically free, but getting caught up in my sleep seemed more important. Deciding not to go to the party, I went back home and went to take some much needed sleep.

My ringtone woke me up from what is now considered an almost five hour nap. I groaned, knowing that it's Y/F/N. I rubbed my eyes, yawning as I reached for my phone. I cleared my throat before answering.

"Y/F/N, What's up?"

I could hear the music blasting from the phone, but I know that she made herself get away from the music.

A male voice replied, "Y/N, this is Trevor."

I felt my heart pound in my chest as I asked, "Where's Y/F/N?"

He sighed, "She's like black out drunk right now and isn't functioning properly. I assumed that they wouldn't want their parents to know about them being drunk, so I called you."

I groaned at her lack of self-control. I threw the covers off of my body before getting out of bed.

I told him, "Keep Y/F/N safe, please. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

He told me okay before hanging up. I quickly changed into a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized sweatshirt and into a bra since I took mine off. I kept my messy bun in and didn't care about my looks since I needed to get Y/F/N home and in bed as soon as possible.

Grabbing my car keys, I noticed the note on the kitchen counter that my parents wrote before they went to work. It just said that there was leftovers in the fridge and they'll see me on Saturday. I threw the note in the trash before heading out to the party.

People were everywhere, and the music was loud. I could barely find a parking spot that wasn't a block away. I weaved through the grinding couples to go upstairs to the bathroom, where I assumed they were. I couldn't find them in the bathroom, and I definitely didn't want to walk into the bedrooms and be scarred for life.

Instead, I spotted Matt in the kitchen with Andy.

Matt widened his eyes, "I thought you don't like parties."

I scoffed, "I can say the same thing for you."

Matt countered, "Free booze!"

I rolled my eyes,"Whatever. Have you seen Trevor and Y/F/N?"

Andy exclaimed, "They went to the backyard a while ago to sober them up."

I nodded my head and turned to go to the patio door, again having to move through the dense crowd of people grinding. I excused myself to a few people in my way, politely trying to hurriedly leave.

When I was close to the door, I felt a hand snake their way to my waist. I turned, ready to shove myself away from the drunk pervert, but I was met with a drunk Blaine. He was one of the varsity football players, so he was popular and a jock, but he was incredibly smart and a total sweetheart. Blaine was my lab partner in Biology two years ago and I've became friends with him since then.

He smiled, "Hey babe. Long time no see."

I could smell the alcohol on his breath, which made my nose crinkle in disgust. His eyes locked onto mine and I could feel myself awkwardly try to get out of his arms.

I smiled softly, "Hey Blaine. I'm not here to party, so I'm sorry that I can't dance with you. It's nice to see you and I hope you have a nice rest of your night."

He pouted, "I really miss you and I'd like to talk."

I shook my head and was able to let go of him, "I gotta save my best friend, but drink lots of water and be safe."

I waved as I left the house, sighing in relief as I felt the cool night air on my skin. I searched the crowds of people, some in swimsuits for the pool, and others dressed normally and standing everywhere. I spotted the tall boy taking care of Y/F/N for the time being and I made my way towards them. Jeremy and Kat stood nearby, watching as Y/F/N sat on the ground and pouted.

I could hear them yelling, "Give me Y/N! She'll tell you."

I asked curiously, "What're they pouting about?"

Y/F/N drunkenly reached her hands towards me like a child would to their mother. They were obviously intoxicated by their slurred speech and rosy cheeks. I sighed, grabbing their hands and lifting them up so they can stand. They stood on wobbly legs so I had to support them.

Trevor informed me, "They haven't thrown up yet but they're still drunk, so I'll be cautious for that."

I sighed, "I see, thank you Trevor for keeping an eye on them and spending your time at the party babysitting."

Y/F/N drunkenly slurred out, "Yah! I'm not a baby. I'm an adult who doesn't need to be told what to do."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever you say. Come on, let's bring you to my house. I'll need to keep an eye on you."

Y/F/N stumbled in my arms as we headed out of the party, saying goodbye to Kat and Jeremy in the process. Trevor followed me and Y/F/N to make sure that we were safe. The walk to the car was grueling because I was mostly carrying their weight but eventually we were there.

A few feet away from the car, Y/F/N groaned, "I feel like I'm gonna throw up."

They stumbled out of my grasp to the nearest lawn, bending over to throw up. I sighed, stopping in my tracks to just watch as it happened. Trevor stood next to me and sighed to himself.

"It was gonna happen at one point."

I nodded my head, "I'm just happy it wasn't in my car."

Once Y/F/N was done, they wiped their mouth with their shirt and turned back to us. They stumbled over and I guided them into the backseat and buckled them in. I turned to Trevor expectantly.

"Are you going to come to my house? I need to hear details of what happened."

He paused, thinking, then nodded his head. We both got into the car and I drove them both to my house. My parents still weren't home but will be arriving within the next hour or so, so it wouldn't be a problem for the two to come into my house.

After driving for ten minutes, we were here. I parked the car and unbuckled Y/F/N.

Grabbing their hands gently, I told them, "We're here, buddy. You gotta change and drink water before going to sleep."

They whined, "I don't want to."

Trevor laughed while I sighed at the person who was acting like a child. They let me bring them to the bathroom, washing their face and brushing their teeth with a spare toothbrush before getting them changed into spare clothes that they left. Trevor grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen and gave it to Y/F/N to drink.

"I don't want to, I'm so tired."

I forced, "Well it's either drink the water now and feel less hungover, or go to sleep now and hate yourself in the morning."

They silently took the water bottle and drank some of it. I watched as they downed the water within a few minutes and laid down on the sofa. I reminded them to lay on their side incase they throw up, and they did before falling asleep. Their snores were heard softly within five minutes.

I smiled to myself victoriously. Trevor just stared at me, silent. I went to throw away the plastic water bottle and he followed silently.

Trevor asked quietly, "Can I talk to you outside?"

I nodded my head, curious as to what he wanted to talk about. I figured that he wanted to go somewhere that we can talk normally so we don't wake Y/F/N. The brisk breeze made me shiver slightly as we sat on the porch steps. A brief silence happened, just us staring at the star-filled sky. I admired the stars and how they were filled with beauty tonight.

Trevor told me, "I'm gonna tell you what happened tonight with Y/F/N."

I nodded my head and he went on, "Y/F/N met up with us at the beginning of the party and told us that they wanted to hang out. We all knew that you wouldn't come so we tried to keep a close eye on them. They snuck away to talk to Barbara and they got drinks apparently. They had a shot party and Y/F/N got wasted by having a lot of shots since we both know that they can't hold a drink well. I was able to bring them outside and call you."

He sighed, as if he didn't want to tell me this, "When I got off of the phone with you, Y/F/N confessed that you like me and it's one of the reasons why you didn't go to the party."

I sat there, mixed emotions. I was angry at Y/F/N for telling a secret, but terrified of what Trevor thinks of me now that he knows that I like him. I could feel the blush on my cheeks and I'm sure that he can see it with the porch's light shining on us.

He looked at me, locking eyes.

He said, "I like you Y/N...I just didn't think that you'd like me, so I tried to keep my distance from you. Plus, I couldn't really think up a way to properly confess without embarrassing myself."

I laughed at his confession, making him smile meekly. He looked adorable all flustered.

I told him, "From what the sleeping drunk said earlier, I do like you. I felt like you didn't like me since you ignored me, but I'm glad that we feel the same way."

His smile grew and he brought me into a warm hug. He smelled amazing and his hug felt nice. Letting go, he asked me on a date for next week, to which I happily accepted. It seemed like we'd make a great couple since we're both the top of our class, and I'm sure others would agree. Two nerds who are very similar make the best couple. The ability to find a connection with people is hard, but finding the person you're compatible is harder. I feel like Trevor and I are compatible and will therefore last as long as we can make it last.

#Rooster Teeth #roosterteeth imagine #rooster teeth imagine #roosterteethinserts #Achievement Hunter #achievement hunter imagine #achievement hunter insert #trevor x reader #trevor/reader #trevor collins imagine #treyco x reader #My writing

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