#barbarian 2022 spoilers

[sufferthesea]

rip keith sorry i thought you were a serial killer

[laughableillusions]

Barbarian was very good and I gotta say the whole “underground labyrinth” trope i lOOVE (but also hate bc I hate claustrophobia and also it being so dark) and how each male character has a representation in the house itself (Keith being at the top, Frank being at the bottom).

Kind of wished there was a bit more, but that’s ok. It was good and I liked it

[gigantomachy1916]

I don't have anywhere else to post these thoughts, I don't know if anyone who follows me has seen Barbarian but whatever. Anyway, the movie is super interesting and based on the book The Gift of Fear, but there's one scene in it that I've seen hardly anyone talking about and I'm not sure why, because it really stood out to me.

The plot twist is, spoilers ahead, that Keith was actually a good guy, despite his awkwardness. But there's this moment after Tess discovers the room in the basement where he flat out refuses to listen to her, insisting on seeing it himself, despite her terror. And besides that, he won't let her leave either. He physically puts himself between her and the front door, even grabbing her arm to stop her—and seeing as Bill Skarsgård is 6'4", this is a super intimidating move.

It reminded me of this thread I saw awhile back (first on Twitter, then it continued on Reddit) about how many men automatically respond to anything a woman says by contradicting her. They'll insist she look up citations to prove a statement made in casual conversation, or ignore her advice only to take the same advice from a man. And you can see this in Keith's response: despite him being vaguely feminist on the surface, his reaction to Tess telling him what she saw is to refuse to believe her or take her seriously until he can confirm it, going so far as to physically prevent her from leaving until she agrees to give him a chance to make sure she wasn't mistaken. There's nothing to be gained in this, just an irrational inability to take a woman at her word (which, in the end, gets him killed).

I'm not writing this to be like "And this is why he's a terrible person." It's just really interesting to me the way that this behavior is so normalized for men that no one even comments on it, and it's not seen as conflicting with the idea that he's a good guy. Particularly in contrast to AJ and Frank, which is another thing that struck home to me: by having worse men to compare them to, men who are actively predatory and violent, the men who are more banally sexist, like Keith, come out looking fantastic in comparison.

[killyspinacoladas]

Anyone else lowkey disappointed we didn't get to see Bill Skarsgård nurse from that hairy baby bottle in the pit?

[garruscoochie]

So just a quick rambling thought on one of the aspects of Barbarian (2022) because this wild movie really has got me thinking! Spoilers and TWs in tags

So while Keith turns out to be one of the "good" guys in the movie, it's subtly shown that even he does not fully understand Tess as a woman. When Tess comes to him in a panic he doesn't listen to her, sealing his own death in the process. Showing that scene and the scene where he's yelling at her in the tunnel as a parallel is super interesting. He got upset, believing he was right and wanting her to understand and listen to his fear when just before when she was terrified he didn't fully believe her, even telling her to calm down. And Tess's fear is warranted, just from the glimpse of the initial room alone. She knows what a room like that is for. Girls are aggressively warned about sexual violence from a very young age, hence her caution when first staying with Keith. There's also something to be said about his own realization of making her a drink and how she viewed that. He makes her one after she says no, then realizes her trepidation, and then he sort of jokes about it. He feels awkward and doesn't want to say the wrong thing so he jokes that she could watch him make it or have some unopened wine with him. There's something about that scene for me, its more of that not fully comprehending her and dismissing her worry because hes not a "bad" guy in his own eyes. So he's not fully capable of putting himself in her shoes. Though he wakes up with her touching him while sleeping, past the initial alarm, it's not really indicated that he fears for his safety around her, unlike like her POV staying with him. I mean, they're human and they did only meet like one day ago and he didn't grow up femme so like, it's mostly understandable!

Anyway, Keith is not the monster that AJ and Frank are. But there is a message subtly shown here that even the best intentions or views of self morality don't keep you from making poor decisions especially at the expense of others. Because of Keith's disbelief, this leads to Tess running after him to help when he puts himself in harms way. Though understandable, his yelling for help when he knows, or at least hopes, that she will help him puts her in danger. He is expecting more from her than he gave her just a minute before. And the thing is, he is one of the better guys in the film! Again, it just goes to show that though you think you're a good person, you can fail to make the best decisions and indirectly affect those around you.

One last thing, the only other good man in this movie is the homeless man in the neighborhood, Andre. He helps and let's Tess into his home. Selflessly, he does these things. I would just like to point back to the scene immediately after he rescues her. When she wants to go back in to rescue AJ, he dismisses her. He finds her empathy unreasonable, favoring self preservation ideals instead. Which, again, totally understandable! This is a man who has learned street smarts and safety for survival for years. What I find interesting is that he doesn't necessarily rescue Tess at any expense to himself at that time. He knew that Mother wouldn't come out in the sun when he pulled Tess out. And he settled to go separate ways from Tess until she winds up on his doorstep that night. Of course his hospitality is more at his expense because he knows Mother will come for her "babies" that night but still let's them stay. And even his initial warning when he runs after her is just poorly thought out. In what world does yelling "Hey little girl, don't run in that house" while running full speed at her a good idea? Again, it's just poor critical thinking regarding women and how they view their safety.

I guess my point is, no one seems to care or feel things quite as much as Tess does. And because of that, she seems to be disregarded by the men in the film as...dramatic? The movie paints the picture of how she, a woman, is regarded by society. There are the glaring displays of sexism, misogyny, and gender based violence but there is also the subtler instances of lesser versions of the same things. Especially the ones not done intentionally. (This last sentence doesn't pertain to anything to do with AJ or Frank, may they burn in hades.)

In conclusion, Idk if I could watch this again anytime soon. It genuinely is disturbing but I do enjoy a movie that makes you think deeply. I've heard many people call this a unique story and at first, I was conflicted because I was stuck on how sexual violence against women is not a unique thing at all in our world. And how horror movies tell them, most of the time, pretty damn poorly. But the storybuilding and the complexities surrounding the base storyline and Mother, it just really works. This isn't a gratuitous horror movie at all imo. Yknow the kind I'm talking about, where it's just torture porn and exploitative. There's layers here and something to be thought about. I would recommend this movie, it's quite the watch. This is just my opinion ofc, I can readily see why this movie wouldn't be people's cup of tea. Anyway, this movie is gonna live in my head paying absolutely no rent.

[orangechickenpillow]

Local man makes scary basement tunnels worse by bringing a retractable measuring tape into play. Not only do I have to worry about the basement tunnel monster, but now I also have to worry about the potential for said retractable measuring tape to slip loose and chop this douchebags whole arm off. Fantastic.

[scaredy-fox]

So I have thoughts about Barbarian (2022) and they will be spoiler heavy.

Overall I enjoyed this movie, or at least it had some very stand out moments, well cast actors, and great effects. I found that it seemed to lack a decent handle on its pacing, and it feels like a third of the story is just missing?

The first act had this fantastic building tension with Keith and Tess that was mesmerizing, the awkwardness and constant threat of danger had me genuinely unnerved!

The hard cut from Keith’s death to AJ’s introduction worked, but pretty much everything after AJ touched down in Detroit felt odd for some reason. I wish we had been given more insight into Frank’s crimes, more connection between him and the Mother beyond a cut off flashback and exposition from a random homeless man.

Continuing with that thought, It felt like there were moments that were drawn out intentionally in the first half, and they really served to elevate the tension and awkwardness that they played on, and later the frustration of dealing with the shitty cops. Unfortunately, it felt like these scenes came to fill the runtime more as the movie went one and I was wary the ending wouldn’t be satisfying, and it wasn’t. There was too much that happened in the first half that just didn’t matter in the end, so the story felt bloated by distracting, unneeded details.

The writing feels like such a crime when the movie was SO well cast, and the effects they did have were fantastic. I feel like the missing scene is something showing something more than a cut off scream in relation to Frank’s crimes. The labels on the videos and other setting details had me excited for some true carnage, but I did leave disappointed. And disappointment is the real word here because the good in this movie is SO good, that I honestly feel let down, like here was a whole other ending sequence that was missing.

Overall I’d like to score this movie higher, but I’ll have to take a point off for being unsatisfying, but give back a half point for just how great the kills are for a final score of 7.5/10!

[snezhishka]

Just watched Barbarian 2022. SHE DID NOTHING WRONG AND DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE MY POOR BABYGIRL

She was so sweet also like she really meant no harm

I blame the police and her father for everything that happened + AJ ofc

I mean she did nothing wrong considering how she was raised like good LUCK not solving everything with murder when your abusive father is a serial killer and you've never seen the light of day or had conversations with people and also have superhuman strength

[deceterumrerum]

the only thingni'd add to your analysis is that the physical characterization of mother as a brutal monsters is deliberate and rightly so: taking aside the incestuous explanation on her physical deformity (and i understand why that bothers ppl), it's also used to show the way abuse, repetitive and caused even before she was probably concieved (which means she also had to carry her own mother's trauma), deforms and breaks people beyond understanding. This is, i think, also a take on the 'perfect victim', as the way mother copes is violent, destructive and volatile - the wrong move from our protagonist could've also detonate and outburst from mother.

finally, i'm sure there is something else on how mother is also a disabled person (physical, but mostly intelectual) and the bias / horror at which some ppl with any kind of physical 'deformity' is looked upon and only serves ppl to insolate themselves (and how insolation as trauma and how it shaped mother's psyque is sure another theme to analize)

(barbarian movie spoilers, rape/incest tw)

i've seen people (understandably imo) bothered by the fact that the mother was a "monster" when she was a victim who was the product of decades of rape and incest, but i'm willing to lightly defend this on thematic grounds.

a significant chunk of the movie's theme seems to be rooted in the idea that our perception of who is really bad and good is stilted and often informed by our own cultural biases. take, for example, how tess runs away from andre the first time she sees him bc he's a homeless man and calls the cops -- he was trying to save her life. the cops, often portrayed as heroes in our culture, are totally useless and even callous and cruel. to a lesser extent, keith -- a guy who the audience is acquainted with as a chronic horror villain through his actor -- comes off creepy and suspicious but was ultimately genuine, kind and innocent. arguably the strongest example is frank, who is brutalizing innocent women by the dozens and buying supplies and skulking around in public, and all the while his neighbors whisper to him in confidence that they need to get out and move because the neighborhood is falling apart -- because it's losing its racial homogeneity.

and just the same, the mother LOOKS "scary" but she's just a victim trying to do what she thinks it's right. the REAL monster is frank, who is ostensibly a "normal" guy. the mother is, along with tess and andre, one of the most innocent characters in the film. this sounds ridiculous considering the amount of carnage she inflicts, but unlike frank, her motivations are pure: she sees tess as her baby, and she wants to do anything to protect her. even after tess rams her with the car, she throws herself off the water tower to save her life. tess understands this. it's why she hesitates in the end, because she's a good person and (unlike AJ) sees the mother for what she really is -- even after everything she's been through.

while a lot of the movie is about the ramifications of gendered violence, i'd argue it's also about judging things based on our society's prejudices. the mother as a monster is a red herring. frank, though he looks "normal," is the true beast, not her.

i don't think these criticisms are WRONG necessarily (especially when critiquing a male director) but i do think cregger was judicious in his choices and didn't do this with misogynistic intention -- actually the opposite. i totally respect people who disagree though, it's a difficult thing.

[ghosts-and-glory]

I'm on a horror movie binge rn. Lmao I'd like to ask: what do you recommend? What are your favorites? (The one I'm watching currently is so mf boring but I'ma see it through)

I know I said I’m a film buff on Instagram and I know you saw it and I almost feel I HAVE to clarify that some of my tastes are like objectively bad. I like DARKSTAR (1974) But boy do I have recommendations.

Animated

9 (2009) It’s number 2 on my list of faves. Very very good movie

Mad God (2021) Absolutely a visual masterpiece, kinda lack plot, more vibe based.

The House (2022)

It’s a classic for a reason

The Exorcist (1973)

The Thing (1982) My all time favourite movie

The Conjuring (2013)

Parasite (2019)

Nope (2022)

Silence of the Lambs (1991)

The Mist (2007)

Not a horror but still disturbing

Schindler’s List (1993) Had to watch it in two sittings cause I felt sick

Seven (1995)

American History X (1998)

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) Another movie I just personally love

Mid teir but I was entertained

Barbarian (2022)

Talk To Me (2022)

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

Hereditary (2018) I’m sorry I laughed through this movie. The ending is really funny tho.

So bad it’s good

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Only slasher I like and I fucking love this movie.

The Invisible Man (2022) One of my favourite bad movies

Grimcutty (2022) Watched with family and lost our minds

Hell house LLC (2005)

The Decent (2005)

Tv show honourable mentions

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022) It’s a anthology and very very good

Midnight Mass (2021)

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

From (2022) Kind a thriller but the gore fucks so hard.

Hight On My Watch List

Movie I wanna recommend cause I’ve heard really really good things but have yet to get my hands on.

As Above So Below (2014)

Come and See (1986)

Skinamarink (2023)

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)

If I think of more I’ll add them. Unfortunately I don’t really have any hidden gems, most of these are relatively mainstream. It’s probably cause my memory is shit and it’s either movies I watched recently or movies that really stuck with me.

If I’m missing a mainstream movie it’s probably just because I don’t like it or haven’t seen it. I’m sorry I don’t like midsommer or the witch, I think they’re boring and not really scary. I also mostly cut movies that are horror comedies like Tusk or Cabinet in the Woods, even tho I like them haha. And I don’t really watch/ like slashers, sorry Saw and Scream movies.

I also want to mention that some movies have more triggering content ie sa and animal death. I highly recommend websites like “Common Sense Media” and “Does the Dog Die” for relatively spoiler free trigger warnings for a comfortable horror experience.

[notealotgoingon]

2023 Bullet Journal Cover & Lists

- movies - books - physical music stickers

(typed list below cut)

Movies

X (2022) ★★★★★ 1/9

Pearl (2022) ★★★★★ 1/10

Jason X (2001) ★★★ 1/17

X (2022) ★★★★★ 1/26

Pearl (2022) ★★★★★ 2/11

Rosemary's Baby (1968) ★★★★★ 2/11

Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special (2023) ★★★★★ 2/12

Skinamarink (2022) ★★★★ 3/8

Re-Animator (1985) ★★★★ 3/12

Ring (1998) ★★★★★ 3/12

Ju-On: The Grudge (2002) ★★★★ 3/12

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) ★★★★ 4/2

Scary Movie (2000) ★★★ 4/3

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) ★★★★★ 4/5

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) ★★★★★ 4/18

Scary Movie 2 (2001) ★★★ 5/3

Scary Movie 3 (2003) ★★ 5/4

The Green Knight (2021) ★★★★★ 5/20

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) ★★★★ 5/21

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) ★★ 6/6

Evil Dead Rise (2023) ★★★★1/2 6/27

Nimona (2023) ★★★★ 7/2

Barbarian (2022) ★★★★ 7/6

Malignant (2021) ★★★★ 7/7

Barbie (2023) ★★★★★ 7/23

Scream VI (2023) ★★★1/2 8/1

Saw (2004) ★★★★ 8/1

Frozen (2010) ★★ 8/2

Resident Evil: Death Island (2023) ★★★★ 8/21

Studio 666 (2022) ★★★★ 9/4

The Exorcist (1973) ★★★★1/2 9/4

Saw II (2005) ★★★★ 9/9

Saw III (2006) ★★★1/2 9/9

Saw IV (2007) ★★★1/2 9/9

Saw V (2008) ★★★ 9/9

Saw VI (2009) ★★★ 9/9

Saw 3D (2010) ★★ 9/9

Jigsaw (2017) ★★★ 9/10

Miss Americana (2020) ★★★★ 9/10

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) ★★1/2 9/17

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) ★★★★1/2 9/24

Saw (2004) ★★★★1/2 9/25

Saw II (2005) ★★★★1/2 9/26

Dracula (1931) ★★★★ 10/1

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) ★★★1/2 10/1

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) ★★★★ 10/1\

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) ★★★★ 10/8

Friday the 13th (1980) ★★★★1/2 10/13

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (2023) ★★★★★ 10/19

Saw VI (2009) ★★★1/2 10/28

Saw 3D (2010) ★1/2 10/29

Saw X (2023) ★★★★1/2 11/6

Saw IV (2007) ★★★1/2 11/20

Saw X (2023) ★★★★1/2 11/20

Terrifier (2016) ★★★1/2 12/4

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) ★★ 12/4

Saw V (2008) ★★★1/2 12/4

Terrifier 2 (2022) ★★★1/2 12/11

The Green Knight (2021) ★★★★★ 12/18

Sonic Christmas Blast(1996) ★★1/2 12/22

Black Christmas (1974) ★★★★★ 12/23

Black Christmas (2006) ★★★1/2 12/24

Saltburn (2023) ★★★★ 12/29

Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour (2018) ★★★★★ 12/30

Books

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor Lavalle 1/2

The Witcher: The Last Wish by Andrzej Sakowski 1/12

We Can Never Leave This Place by Eric Larocca 1/14

Causes and Cures in the Classroom by Margaret Searle 1/29

Vox Machina: Kith & Kin by Marieke Nijkamp 2/1

Black is the Body by Emily Bernard 2/4

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas 2/18

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green 2/19

Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth 2/26

The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King 3/7

Ring by Koji Suzuki 4/14

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher 4/14

In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez 5/8

Circe by Madeline Miller 5/19

When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka 5/30

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe 6/1

The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker 6/25

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson 6/28

The Lesbian Classics Get Me Off by Chuck Tingle 6/28

Icebreaker by Hannah Grace 7/5

Teacher of the Yearby M.A. Wardell 7/7

The Colorado Kid by Stephen King 7/17

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone 7/31

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle 8/4

The Writing Revolution by Judith C. Hochman & Natalie Wexler 8/10

You Can Go Your Own Way by Eric Smith 8/20

Phasma by Delilah S. Dawson 9/12

Small Spaces by Katherine Arden 9/27

Reforged by Seth Haddon 10/8

Fifty Feet Down by Sophie Tanen 10/23

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty 11/22

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett 12/2

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade 12/7

Wildfire by Hannah Grace 12/5

Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice 12/12

Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica 12/19

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers 12/20

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo 12/28

Stowaway and Silent Song by Vera Valentine 12/29

Physical Music Media:

(this isn't all of the records/CDs I've gotten or listened to this year, but I figured I'd decipher the stickers I put in the book; these are all of the promo stickers on the outside of the plastic wrapping on the releases)

Beat the Champ - the Mountain Goats

Paradise - Lana del Ray

Red (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

What's it Like? - Sure Sure

Did You Know There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard? - Lana del Ray

Stick Season - Noah Kahan

The Rest - boygenius

Midnights (Late Night Edition) - Taylor Swift

Raving Ghost - Olivia Jean

The Record - boygenius

Speak Now (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Dark in Here - the Mountain Goats

Bangerz (10th Anniversary Edition) - Miley Cyrus

God Games - the Kills

1989 (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

[scarystinkyskeletons]

Heres some ranting and raving about the feminist horror of Barbarian. Hopefully you all enjoy or are at least amused.

**SPOILERS for the 2022 movie Barbarian ahead - it's 2 years old lol but whatever here's your warning**

Last night I got to enjoy the movie "Barbarian" with some friends. Now, I have to start out saying: It is quite gory, I am a big baby, and don't like watching (or reading!) gore/gratuitous violence in general. But god, am I willing to put up with it for the sake of the absolutely brilliant social commentary that really only comes from the horror genre. 

The main take away is that a "nice guy" rapist with plentiful justifications for his terrible behavior sees a "women in cages" rapist as if they have nothing in common, not realizing that they are both monsters. You can find movie explanations expanding on that theme online (here, for example).

But I want to touch on some other things I find noteworthy:

First, the creature (called The Mother) everyone is running from & trying to escape in fear is actually a victim. She is the result of generations of captive inbreeding. She's doing the only thing she knows how to do - "mothering". People fear her for reasons that are the result of what has happened to her and generations of women before her. When victims do everything right & come forward, we punish them, as we see with our "nice guy" rapist degrading and attempting to manipulate his own victim. But even when victims do things as they were taught - the only things they know to do - we punish them again. There's no winning outcome for them, just degrees of survival. The mother been forced to become a creature that doesn't have a place in human society, and ultimately that's why Tess has to kill her.

The Barbarian who is living under the house is a bed bound alcoholic, and when we first come upon him, he looks like he might be a victim! <sarcasm> Who has trapped this helpless, bed bound man under the house? </sarcasm> and truly, this is a reflection of how our biases skew our perception/interpretation of what we see, what we think we know, and our consideration of unknown unknowns. Looking at him in that state, he doesn't look like someone who could climb a flight of stairs, none-the-less build a tunnel system for his captives. But he is actually still the master of this world he has created despite being physically powerless, as he has a bell system in the tunnel. We may speculate that he calls for the Mother (who is his daughter) when he has needs to be satisfied.

In the end, it is the male ego we tend to nurse back to health, helping it cling to life well beyond its welcome. I think this all really points towards how society receives victims who make themselves known - they are perceived as a random monster wrecking some helpless man's life.

But there's an interesting dualistic pair also in this story: the exploration of how men who actually try to protect women are treated, and the actions/inaction of males who pretend to be protective in our society. The first side of this is represented by the homeless man who tries to warn her. Initially she runs from him due to her own biases and assumptions. He later saves her, and she realizes she can trust him. The contrast are the cops who show up, degrade the survivor, do nothing, and leave them to be re-victimized. All to say, the men we expect to show up and help us rarely do; many of them are all talk and work together to intentionally accomplish nothing. Those men who choose to do the right thing - who choose to warn us and show up to protect us from the real monsters - tend to be punished for it, or are exiled from their social circles for speaking out. The homeless man even tells Tess that the Mother isn't the worst thing down there, and he is right. He knows the real evil is the man who created the Mother. He is violently killed by her because the cops have failed to protect him too.

The men in this movie show quite the gradient of behavior: the homeless man who warns and saves her; the cops who have the power to help but choose to do nothing; the housemate, a stranger Tess is stuck with by circumstance, who is super creepy when he tries to stop her from leaving; the "nice guy" rapist, a hollywood bro who is never at fault in his own mind nor in the minds of his friends, and is blissfully full of excuses for the way he violates women; and the monster who has build a secret passage into/under his house for the purpose of keeping generations of women and children as sex slaves.

The mother kills multiple men in this movie, but not the man who has done her the most harm. He has killed himself like a coward when our "nice guy" rapist discovers the evidence of what he has done. Truly, there is no justice for the Mother. At the end, our leading lady survives with the help of the Mother after our "nice guy" rapist tries to kill her, and I think that allows us to wrap up on a positive note: we can survive if we stick together.

[bereft-of-frogs]

I liked Flatliners more, but Leave the World Behind at least had some great tension building scenes. But like, imo The Invitation pulled that off better, of sustaining this really tight dramatic tension between a small cast/setting and then ending on a pan out to a larger catastrophe. This was…(spoilers under the cut)

…sort of undercut when Mahershala Ali explains the dastardly plan he’s been afraid of that his billionaire friend told him because when he explains it it’s like….yeah of course his DOD billionaire friend knows it will work we’ve done that like a hundred times. Like the CIA has actually done that a bunch so it’s like…oh yeah that, of course

The implication it’s a bunch of countries teaming up like ‘we’re sick of America’s shit’ is kind of a funny set up to all those dystopia theories that the rest of the world is mostly fine but the US is the only one having like, the hunger games, or whatever. Like if that was the intention you know what, hilarious ending 10/10. I think it was supposed to be scarier but between the ‘oh that’s what’s going on? haha yeah we know about the destabilizing plan, we’ve done that a whole bunch’ and the extremely unrealistic mushroom cloud implication (come on) (I mean I’m not asking for Oppenheimer levels here but come on you pasted in a mushroom cloud-like thing and expected us to believe they like, didn’t notice a nuclear weapon falling within 50 miles of them?) it fell a bit apart for me.

Tho 0/10 on the realism for Kevin Bacon’s prepper house, there was not one single ‘no step on snek’ flag. 🐍

I think I would have liked the ending better without that piece of it. Like it does just feel like this was like…the weird love child of The Invitation (2015) and Barbarian (2022).

apparently it is Julia Roberts and Kevin Bacon Saturday, just finished Flatliners and now I’m watching Leave the World Behind 😆

[utilitycaster]

I'm Reading the Drizzt Novels and You Can't Stop Me: Homeland (and some anticipated questions)

Welcome to yet another ongoing series from me, a person who should be doing other things and may abandon it but also frankly will do this for her own entertainment regardless of whether anyone else cares. Let's back up first; if you're not in this car with me, get out of the rearview mirror.

Until now I have pretty much only read the Drizzt novels in situations where I was unwell, tired, or without another easy means of entertainment. Specifically, I read the first few while quarantining with a mild but still unpleasant case of COVID in late 2022, and then some others while dealing with catching up at work/post-illness fatigue/the general vibes of December in the northeast and Midatlantic states of the US. This caught me up to book 6, which represent the scene-setting; more on this later.

I then read Book 7 on a long train ride with nothing else to do, while very tired and probably a little hungover, in January 2023. I enjoyed it, in part because Wulfgar, who I do not care for, dies. (spoilers I guess? I'm not explicitly avoiding spoilers because these books are 30+ years old, but I'm not seeking them out, and I believe he comes back to life eventually).

I then proceeded to read Real Books (TM) for the remainder of 2023, some of which I can recommend highly and some of which were dumber than Wulfgar. Flash forward to getting my car serviced in the tail end of December 2023. I intended to bring my laptop. I did not. I also intended to bring headphones. I did not. And so, with a phone with so-so battery and little interest in watching HGTV, I read book 8. And I thought "what if I started doing this, because I can knock out one of these motherfuckers in a day if I try hard enough." I then thought "what if I slam books 1-7 again and do a book a week in 2024?"

Clearly I did not do this, because again, I have other books to read and things to do. However, I have finally, after another long-ass train ride, finished a reread of book 1. And so, with an unclear but hopefully from now on twice a month at least (?) update schedule, I bring you: Homeland. The rest of these posts will probably be way shorter.

For anyone who is not familiar with Drizzt or Forgotten Realms or whatever: this is a weird choice you've made. Anyway. Forgotten Realms is THE iconic D&D setting; it's where both the Baldur's Gate series is set as well as the D&D movie plus all kinds of adventures. What's it like? Well, it's basically The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, for all my Diana Wynne Jones fans out there. Do none of these references work for you? You'll just have to pick it up as we go along.

The Legend of the Legend of Drizzt is basically, as far as I know (and I don't know much) R.A. Salvatore was hired to write some cool adventures in a D&D setting in the early 90s. The plan, per the suits, was to follow Wulfgar, who was big and blond and very Conan The Barbarian which is, I should note, way more the vibe of D&D than LOTR much as we (D&D players) are loathe to admit it. However, Wulfgar had brains made out of one of the boring adult cereals: dull, and only slightly more fibrous than the fun cereals like Honey Bunches of Oats. Meanwhile, Drizzt, his drow buddy, fucking ruled. And so, after writing three very sword-and-sorcery (or more accurately, scimitar-and-wizardry) books, Salvatore returned to fill in Drizzt's backstory. And thus we begin in Homeland.

Drizzt Do'Urden is a drow, or dark elf, which in this setting are almost universally evil because they worship Lolth the spider queen. Is this Not Great? Yes. I also am reading The Wheel of Time, which is Even Worse About Biology As Destiny. The main purpose of this book is to cover Drizzt's childhood from when he leaves the underground drow city of Menzoberranzan.

Drizzt's mother is called Malice, unironically. The naming of drow makes no fucking sense, while we're at it; Malice, Zaknafein, SiNaFay, and Alton DeVir are all supposed to be from the same language? I'm not buying it. ANYWAY. Drow society is matriarchal bc spiders and because, as this post says, Salvatore REALLY wanted to be stepped on. Drizzt was born the third son, and was going to be sacrificed to Lolth because third sons are useless. His birth was ALSO being used by Malice to fuel an attack on House DeVir, because if you slaughter a whole-ass house in Menzoberranzan it's admirable of you, bc ontologically evil; and Lolth powers are increased by childbirth or some jazz.

Several important things happen here, pretty much all simultaneously, heralding Our Chosen One (Drizzt):

The attack on House DeVir goes super well for House Do'Urden

The second oldest brother, Dinin, kills his wizard elder brother (known as the elderboy by the creative geniuses of Menzoberranzan) which means Drizzt can survive because they need a replacement wizard boy.

We learn that Drizzt's father (one of Malice's several consorts) is Zaknafein, who fucking hates his life and how shitty drow society is but also is really good at murder and so he kind of hangs out doing that for House Do'Urden

A wizard who melted his face off fails to kill Alton DeVir, the last of the house of DeVir, which means technically House Do'Urden's attack was illegitimate. However, Masoj Hun'ett, of another powerful house, kills the faceless wizard and Alton takes the wizard's place, but desires VENGEANCE.

Drizzt has lavender eyes but is not blind. His eye color will come up approximately a zillion times. I considered counting, but trust me it's SO many.

The rest of the book covers the following, roughly in order:

Drizzt is super good at everything from a young age; he is placed in the care of his only full sibling, Vierna. Zak manages to successfully argue that Drizzt's dexterity is SO good that he HAS to be a fighter and not a wizard, which permits him to train Drizzt, who is, as discussed, good at everything. He almost mercy-kills him before school because he'd rather his son die innocent than become a drow, but also he hates the idea of killing a child, and also Drizzt is a really good fighter, and so it doesn't happen. They depart on bad terms though.

Drizzt then goes to fighter school (instead of wizard school) and is an excellent fighter but not naturally deceptive and backstabbing because he is Pure of Heart; he is constantly skirting trouble by asking such questions as "why do we all want to murder each other all the time though" and "why is our graduation ceremony a drug fueled spider goddess orgy"

Masoj and Alton scheme; Alton eventually learns in a hoisted by his own petard way that the faceless wizard was also of house Hun,ett, and that house is willing to help him strike back at house Do'Urden

Masoj has a magic panther named Guenhwyvar who likes Drizzt more than him.

Drizzt goes on a surface raid and fucking loves the surface, and feels bad about murdering the surface elves, so he fakes the brutal slaughter of an elven girl. Lolth sees this and doesn't like it one bit and blames the whole house.

Drizzt proves himself on other patrols, and realizes Masoj Hun'ett keeps trying to fucking kill him, notably on a patrol where they run into deep gnomes (svirfneblin). Drizzt spares one of them as well. Dinin is growing suspicious.

Malice realizes that Lolth is mad and assumes it's Zaknafein, known problem, but Lolth tells her someone already knows

Drizzt tells her about Masoj, under questioning

Drizzt and Zak reunite and realize they are kindred spirits who are like "wait our society is MAD fucked up and miserable" and excitedly decide to run away and stop being miserable, BUT Malice is Scrying on them the whole time.

Drizzt goes out to clear his mind and gets cornered by Masoj and Alton. They try to kill him. Joke's on them! Drizzt kills Masoj, Alton's own wand blows up and kills him, and Drizzt gets the panther.

HOWEVER joke is also on Drizzt because Malice approaches Zak and tells him she's going to murder Drizzt, to which Zak tells her to kill him instead. She does so.

Drizzt learns of this and runs away.

The entire book is threaded through with Drizzt's first person reflections, which are actually quite touching at times but also definitely kind of overwrought so I do keep reading them as if they are Sex and the City/Scrubs/Winona Ryder in the 80s (Beetlejuice, Heathers) diary entries

And so our stage is set. If I recall correctly book two is "you have your father's morals; and his tendency towards clinical depression" so we're going to have a rollicking good time (genuine).

[goatmattersinc]

SPOOKY SEASON MOVIE 17!! i didn't catch it when it came out, and have avoided spoilers lol.

Barbarian (2022) dir. Zach Cregger

[orangechickenpillow]

Random Jane Eyre appearance? The book where a guy kept a lady that bit people in his attic? Is that like foreshadowing or something???