#barbara hannigan

[reginasbread]

Barbara Hannigan singing and conducting Kurt Weill's Youkali with Göteborgs Symfoniker

[delphixphotos]

Barbara Hannigan in Winterthur, conducting and singing La Voix Humaine/Poulenc and Metamorphosen/Strauss

Canon RP + 24mm-150mm

[hayleylovesjessica]

My partner's parents emailed to ask for our Christmas wish list, as they do every year, which is so very generous of them. I think that they typically spend $75 on everyone (i.e., their 5 children and their children's spouses/partners (me!)/children) each year, but I can't in good conscience ask for $75 worth of stuff. So, I told my partner to forget about a new rice cooker and, instead, sent along three Amazon links for three CDs that I want, namely, the three most recent albums that one of my favorite classical pianists, Víkingur Ólafsson, has put out: Mozart & Contemporaries, From Afar (pieces from J. S. Bach to Thomas Adès), and J. S. Bach: Goldberg Variations. In the past, if there was money left over, my partner's parents just sent along a small Amazon gift card to make up the difference. I kinda hope that they do the same this year. I wanted to also include the link for the Emerson String Quartet's last (as in, very last since they've now retired) album, Infinite Voyage, which features awesome collaborations with Barbara Hannigan and Bertrand Chamayou in repertoire by Arnold Schoenberg, Paul Hindemith, Alban Berg, and Ernest Chausson, but I just couldn't bring myself to impose on them beyond the three Ólafsson CDs, which will come out to approximately $50.

[cruinneachadh]

[fredfinch]

heard someone on the radio mention this interview and knew I had to share it over here. love her mind.

[mozart2006]

Ludwigsburger Schlossfestspiele 2023 - Barbara Hannigan

Foto ©Reiner Pfisterer Fra gli appuntamenti più attesi dei Ludwigsburger Schlossfestspiele 2023 c’ era sicuramente il ritorno di Barbara Hannigan, Continue reading Untitled

[assortedmelons]

Celebrity Melons

[tapecase-space]

let me tell you

[gouldblogger]

CLAUDIO ABBADO and MARTHA ARGERICH, 1968.

[delphixphotos]

Diptic.

Impressions of the video camera checks yesterday before our third performance (in a row!!!) of La Voix Humaine, Theater Chur with Musikkollegium Winterthur. Photo credits delphix

[marvelousmrm]

Defenders #91 (Hannigan/Perlin, Jan 1981). The Mandrill dominates Valkyrie again and pits her against Hellcat.

[cartridgeconverter]

Don Giovanni La Monnaie 2014 - or, my nomination for the worst Don Giovanni production to ever exist

Let me be clear: do not watch this prod.

Director - Krzysztof Warlikowski Leporello - Andreas Wolf Donna Anna - Barbara Hannigan Don Giovanni - Jean-Sebastien Bou Il Commendatore - Willard White Don Ottavio - Topi Lehtipuu* Donna Elvira - Rinat Shaham Zerlina - Julie Mathevet Masetto - Jean-Luc Ballestra

Content warning: this prod exists solely for shock value, so it contains just about every disturbing thing possible. Notably: rape/sexual coercion, domestic violence, incest, blackface.

*You ever notice that this was one of the last stage productions Topi ever did before he became a full-time conductor?

The overarching issue with this production is that it focuses on being shocking and disturbing to the point of incoherence. This can be traced to misogyny - all of the female characters are sex addicts and/or insane. This is exaggerated so much that neither the "rape" (it's not a rape) nor murder at the beginning of the performance is Don Giovanni's fault, basically defeating the entire purpose of the play.

There is never a moment that isn't sexually explicit, lest you forget that the director knows what sex is, guys. Sometimes the characters have sex or sexual moments on stage during scenes (Non mi dir is happening during oral sex), while at other times half-naked background dancers appear seemingly randomly to, I guess, fulfill the naked people quota that every regie prod needs. Also, one of them is in full-body blackface. Just for fun.

Probably the most typical character in this interpretation is Elvira. This is a low bar to cross. She is portrayed as an overly emotional, unstable stalker, but these traits are just her original text being portrayed in the least charitable manner possible. There isn't any contradiction with the original story, which is what the best case scenario is here.

Instead of being a young, poor couple, Zerlina and Masetto are a prostitute and her pimp, respectively. This also completely removes the class dynamics at play between the characters. Masetto is very rich and rather emotionally detached from Zerlina, which means his aria makes no sense. He isn't even angry, just mildly peeved. After all, if they're not in a relationship, and Giovanni is one of his clients, none of this should upset him.

Both of these examples can be chalked up to typical director edginess, but this production's portrayal of Anna is simply a demonization of the character due to misogyny. Not only is she portrayed as responsible for the rape in the first scene, but she is the one forcing herself onto Don Giovanni, instead of the other way around. The production goes on to imply that she had an incestuous relationship with her father. Meanwhile, Ottavio is depicted as the victim of her emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Throughout the show, she threatens him with a gun; after the epilogue, she shoots him.

:v

If you want to depict abuse in Don Giovanni, there's plenty of options. Obviously, the relationship between the Don and Leporello is very controlling. One could also make the point that Zerlina and Masetto have an unhealthy dynamic, such as in Peter Sellars's production. However, Ottavio? Ottavio is, textually, in no such position. He is (besides Giovanni himself), the most powerful character because he is an upper-class man. Even in a modern setting, this shouldn't change. By making Anna the instigator of all the violence in the plot, it completely does away with the commentary on misogyny while instead demonizing the women.

Also the singing is bad.

In conclusion, Ottavio look out! Oh no he has airpods in he can't hear us

[robinbuckleysfringe]

There's No Place Like Hawkins

pairings: steve harrington x oc, steve harrington x henderson!oc

warnings: nothing beyond anything that happens within canon of the show, slow burn?? they don't get together for a while

word length: it's a long first chapter, 5k

notes from the author: I picture Catherine Henderson as a mix between Saoirse Ronan and Alyson Hannigan (specifically her Buffy era), but feel free to picture Catherine as whoever you would like :)

Cast of Stranger Things as themselves, unless stated otherwise

Chapter One (episodes: S1.Ep.1)

prev. chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

The Vanishing of Will Byers

November 6th, 1983

Hawkins, Indiana

Catherine Henderson was sat in the basement of the Wheeler's house, watching her brother, Dustin, and his friends play their game of Dungeons and Dragons. "Something is coming." Mike Wheeler, the younger brother of Nancy- one of Cat’s best friends- announced, leading the game as the dungeon master. "Something hungry for blood. A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness. It is almost here."

Cat focused her attention back on her book, hardly paying attention to the game. Despite having babysat the majority of the boys’ games, she still didn’t have a clue as to how it worked. She would rather be hanging out with Nancy upstairs while she waited for her brother to finish his game, but the brunette was busy talking on the phone to the third friend in their group, Barbara Holland. This didn’t upset Catherine too much, she wasn’t Nancy biggest fan when the girl spoke about boys, Steve Harrington in particular. It just reminded her of bittersweet memories.

"What is it?" Will asked quietly. He was also the younger sibling of another one of Cat’s friends, Jonathan Byers.

"What if it's the Demogorgon?" Dustin suggested.

"The what?" Catherine asked, lifting her head from her book to look over at the group. She hadn’t heard them mention this particular creature in previous games.

The boys ignored her, continuing with their game. "Oh, Jesus, we're so screwed if it's the Demogorgon." Dustin added, shaking his head.

"It's not the Demogorgon." Lucas told him.

"An army of Troglodytes charge into the chamber!" Mike yelled suddenly, placing a mini figure onto the game board. Cat sighed, turning back to her book. She understood very few of the words that the kids spoke during their Dungeons and Dragons sessions.

"Troglodytes?" Dustin questioned.

"Told ya." Lucas chuckled, smug as he had been right about the monster not being a Demogorgon.

The boys chuckled for a moment before Mike whispers, "wait a minute." He paused. “Did you hear that? That… that sound? Boom… boom…” He yelled again, slamming his hands down onto the table. "That didn't come from the Troglodytes. No, that... That came from something else." The boys all looked at Mike expectantly before he slammed a figure onto the table and exclaimed, "The Demogorgon!" He yelled as the others all groaned in annoyance.

"We're in deep shit." Dustin pointed out.

"Language!" Catherine chided her brother. Dustin simply responded by sending her a glare, knowing hers was always a lot worse.

"Will, your action!" Mike told the small boy.

"I don't know!" The young Byers cried, shaking his head.

"Fireball him!" Lucas suggested.

"I'd have to roll a 13 or higher!" Will pointed out to him.

"Too risky. Cast a protection spell." Dustin suggested.

"Don't be a pussy. Fireball him."

"Cast Protection."

Mike slammed his hands down onto the table. "The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering!"

"I'm tired of your bickering too." Catherine muttered. "But at least the whatever it is isn't real and gets a break from hearing your voices." She rolled her eyes.

"It stomps towards you." Mike continued. "Boom!"

"Fireball him Will!" Lucas yelled.

"Another stomp, boom!"

"Cast Protection." Dustin yelled.

"He roars in anger!"

The boys all continued to yell over one another, telling Will what to do.

"Would you all shut up!" Catherine cried out, having had enough of the racket. At the same time, Will yelled, "Fireball!" and rolled the dice. They all watched as it rolled off the table and onto the floor.

"Oh, shit!" Mike exclaimed as they all stood up to look for the dice.

"Where'd it go?" Lucas asked as they began to search on the floor. "Where is it?" Catherine sat back on the couch, content now that they'd finally stopped yelling.

"I don't know!" Will spoke, answering Lucas's question.

"Henderson, help us look for it!" Lucas yelled, turning towards the eldest Henderson.

"Nope. I wasn't playing and therefore I don't have to help you." Cat retorted, not even bothering to spare a glance from her book.

"Kit, please help us." Dustin begged, pausing his search to look over at her. "Please, please help us look for it."

Cat rolled her eyes, sitting up in her seat. She looked down by her legs, peering at the small area of floor by her feet. Upon seeing nothing, she sat back on the sofa and turned back to her book. "There, I've looked, and I can't see it anywhere near me. You're welcome."

 The younger Henderson rolled his eyes at her behaviour. "Is it a 13?" He asked, turning back to his friends.

"I don't know!" Will replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t see it before it disappeared.”

"Where is it?" Lucas asked again, becoming increasingly frustrated.

"Oh, my God!" Dustin repeated over and over again while he paced the floor of the basement.

"It's just a dice." Cat snapped. "You're panicking over nothing."

"Nothing?! This isn't nothing, Henderson." Lucas shouted at her. "It's a life-or-death situation."

"It really isn't, Sinclair." Cat retorted, just as Mrs. Wheeler yelled Mike's name from upstairs.

The boys continued panicking about the dice while Mrs. Wheeler opened the door to the basement. "Mike!" She called and the boy looked up at her from where he was stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mom, we're in the middle of a campaign!" He complained her.

"You mean the end? Fifteen after." Mrs Wheeler told him, pointing to the watch on her wrist before walking away from the basement, Mike running up the stairs behind her to try and plead for more time to finish their campaign.

"Oh, my God! Freaking idiot!" Lucas yelled to no one in particular. After a few more minutes of searching, Will announced to the group that he’d found the dice.

Cat dramatically threw her head backwards against the sofa. “Finally!” She cried, throwing her arms up into the air. “Does that mean we can leave now?” She asked, watching her brother start to grab his jacket.

"No!" Lucas snapped, to which she just rolled her eyes.

"Does the seven count?" Will asked, looking to Lucas.

"It was a seven? Did Mike see it?" Will shook his head. "Then it doesn't count." Lucas told him.

"I believe that's called cheating," Cat stated, marking the page of her book with her bookmark, and putting it in her backpack.

"No one asked you, Henderson." Lucas snapped at her.

While the boys gathered up their belongings and started to head up the basement stairs. Dustin stopped, noticing the pizza box only had a couple of slices left. "Yo, hey, guys." Dustin called to them, and Will and Lucas stopped on the stairs for a moment. "Does anyone want this?"

"No." They both responded, shaking their heads and hurrying up the stairs.

Dustin turned to Cat who had just finished zipping up her backpack and had started putting her arms through the sleeves of her jacket. "You want this, Kit?" He asked, holding the pizza box out towards her.

“No, that’s alright. Thanks though, Dusty. Just leave it here or throw it in the trash." She finished putting her jacket on and started to walk up the stairs, Dustin following behind her.

“I’ll meet you outside. I’m gonna see if Nancy might want it.”

Cat shrugged her shoulders at him. “I doubt it, but that’s sweet of you Dusty. Just make sure you hurry up, alright? Mum wanted us home…” She looked at her watch. “Oh shit. She wanted us home at least an hour ago.”

Dustin nodded, leaving up the stairs to the second floor of the house while Cat headed towards the front door. She made sure to stop in the kitchen and thank Mrs. Wheeler for allowing the boys to hang out in their basement, before heading outside to wait for her brother.

Catherine was just climbing onto her bike when Dustin walked out of the Wheeler's house. "There's something wrong with your sister." He grumbled to Mike who was standing outside while the others got their bikes together.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's got a stick up her butt." Dustin explained.

"Yeah." Lucas agreed. "It's because she's been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington." He rolled his eyes.

Cat couldn’t help the scoff of agreement that left her lips. Ever since Nancy had started dating the most popular guy in school, Steve Harrington, she barely spoke to Cat about anything else. Every conversation ended up relating back to Steve and it had started to get on Catherine’s nerves.

Steve Harrington used to be her best friend up until he dumped her for popularity when they started high school, and unfortunately, he happened to be the guy that Cat was totally head-over-heels for. A fact that she wouldn’t admit to anyone except her best friend Barbara Holland, and that was only because the redhead had figured it out before she had.

"Yeah," agreed Dustin. "She's turning into a real jerk."

"She's always been a real jerk." Mike argued.

Cat shook her head. “Not true. We used to be able to have conversations that didn’t always involve talking about her boyfriend.”

"Exactly.” Dustin agreed. “She used to be cool. Like that time both she and Kit dressed up as elves for our Elder tree campaign."

"I told you never to speak of that again." Cat muttered as she started to cycle to the end of the Wheeler's driveway.

"That was four years ago!" Mike called out as the boys began to follow Cat down the drive.

"Just saying." Dustin called back as he cycled after his sister, who was now cycling quite fast down the road.

"Later." Lucas called back to Mike with a wave as he disappeared down the hill.

***

The three boys and Cat had been cycling for a short while before they approached Lucas' house. "Good night, ladies. And older Henderson." He called, starting to turn into his driveway.

"Kiss your mom 'night for me." Dustin called to him as they continued to cycle down the road. "Race you back to our house?" He asked Will. "Winner gets a comic."

"Any comic?" Will asked.

"Yeah." Dustin confirmed and the two boys began racing on their bikes down the street.

"You know I could just buy you both one?" Cat called to them, but she didn't get an answer and she began cycling faster to catch up to the two boys she was meant to be looking after.

She cycled as fast as she could down the hill, catching up to Will who was winning the race.

"You sure you don't want me to cycle with you to make sure you get home safely?" She asked him, slightly out of breath from the cycling.

"No thanks, Cat. I think I'll be fine." Will told her.

Cat nodded. "Okay then. Be safe." She called out to him as she stopped her bike next to her family's mailbox. She watched him cycle away, waiting for Dustin to catch up with her before the siblings walked their bikes down the driveway.

***

The next morning, Cat awoke with a bad feeling in her stomach. Deciding that it was probably just irrational anxiety about the upcoming school day, she decided to ignore it and instead just get ready for the day. She threw on a black and white stripped t-shirt and a pair of overalls that she had painted yellow stars onto the front of. Grabbing her toothbrush from the bathroom, she hurriedly squeezed toothpaste on it before shoving it in her mouth to brush her teeth. As she started brushing her teeth, she ran back out of the bathroom and ran down the stairs to the phone. She grabbed the phone off the wall and dialled, pacing back and forth while she waited for the other end to pick up. After a couple of rings, the person at the other end of the phone picked up.

"Jonathan!" Cat greeted her friend down the phone, although you could barely make out what she was saying as her toothbrush was still in her mouth.

"Hey, Cat. What's up? That is you, right?" He asked through the receiver.

Cat ran over to the sink to spit the toothpaste out of her mouth, phone still in hand before she answered. "Yes, it is me. Sorry." She placed her toothbrush next to the sink and begun to run the tap. "For the record, I was brushing my teeth. Also," She stopped running the tap and picked an apple from the fruit bowl, taking a bite from it. "Am I cycling to yours this morning?"

"Yeah sure. I'll give you a lift to school from mine, like usual."

"Sweet. I'll see you soon Byers."

"See you soon, Henderson."

Cat hung up the phone, took another couple of bites from her apple before throwing it in the trash and running back upstairs to her room so she could get her shoes. She grabbed her trainers, shoving her feet into them as quickly as she possibly could before running back out of her room, calling out a goodbye to Dustin and her mom. She shut the front door behind her and hopped onto her bike before racing down the street to the Byers's house, not noticing the porch lights flickering on and off behind her.

***

Roughly twenty minutes later, Cat reached the Byers' house and hopped off her bike. She leaned it against the wall next to the door. Her fingers pushed the doorbell, signalling her arrival. "Its open," called a voice from inside the house, which Catherine recognised as Jonathan's. She pushed open the door and saw her friend standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Well, that smells nice. What 'cha making?"

Jonathan turned around and smiled at his friend who had perched herself on the kitchen counter next to the back door. He was about to reply when Joyce Byers' voice rang through the house. "Where the hell are they?"

Cat looked at Jonathan in confusion. "Keys." He simply said and Cat nodded her head in understanding.

"Jonathan?" Joyce called out from the living room.

"Check the couch!" He suggested.

"Ugh, I did." It was silent for a moment before Joyce announced that she'd found her keys. She walked into the kitchen just as Jonathan started dishing up the breakfast he had made.

"Hi Mrs. Byers." Cat greeted.

"Oh, hi Catherine. I didn't hear you come in." Joyce walked over to the teen and gave her a hug. "And call me Joyce. You practically live here, anyway, might as well call me 'mom'." She chuckled and Cat let out a short laugh.

Joyce picked her bag up from the table, saying goodbye to her eldest. "Okay, sweetie, I will see you tonight."

"Yeah, see you later."

Joyce went to leave but stopped, realising that Will wasn't in the kitchen. "Where's Will?"

"Oh, I didn't get him up yet." Jonathan turned around to face his mom. "He's probably still sleeping."

Joyce sighed. "Jonathan, you have to make sure he's up!" She stressed.

"Mom, I'm making breakfast."

Joyce shook her head and walked off down the hall towards Will's room. "I told you this a thousand times." Cat heard Joyce say, "Will! Come on, honey. It's time to get up."

"I think it was pretty late when they left last night so he's probably still really tired. I think Dustin was, although I didn't really see him before I rushed out of the house this morning." Cat told Jonathan, raising her voice a little so Joyce could hear her too.

Joyce walked back down the hall to the kitchen. "He came home last night, right?"

"He's not in his room?" Jonathan asked.

"Did he come home or not?" Joyce asked her son.

"I don't know." He replied, placing the plates on the table.

"You don't know?"

"No." Jonathan stammered. "I got home late. I was working."

"You were working?"

"Eric asked if I could cover. I said yeah. I just thought we could use the extra cash."

"Jonathan, we've talked about this." Joyce told him.

"I know, I know."

"You should have called me. I wouldn't have minded babysitting him until you guys got back." Cat spoke up, quietly so as to not involve herself in the arguing.

"You can't take shifts when I'm working." Joyce continued at Jonathan. "Or at least ring Catherine and ask her to babysit. She wouldn't mind." She gestured in the direction of the girl.

"I honestly don't mind looking after Will. Or any of the boys, really." Cat added.

"Mom, it's not a big deal. Look, he was at the Wheeler's all day. I'm sure he stayed over."

Both looked over to Catherine who was still sat on their kitchen counter. “Um, well, not to my knowledge. I cycled with them all home. I even asked Will if he wanted me to cycle back with him to make sure he was okay. He didn't want me to, said he would be fine. But maybe he came back here and grabbed some stuff and headed back to the Wheeler's for the night." She shrugged. "I didn't see his bike outside this morning."

Joyce sighed. "I can't believe you." She mumbled; the words aimed at her Jonathan. She walked over to the phone and dialled the number for the Wheeler household.

Cat had another thought. "Or maybe he left extra early this morning and that's why I didn't see his bike out front." Jonathan shrugged in reply as Joyce started speaking into the phone.

"Hi, Karen. It's Joyce." There was silence for a moment as Karen Wheeler spoke on the other end of the phone. "Was that Will I heard back there?" She asked. "Will didn't spend the night?" She was starting to sound worried. Cat shared a look with Jonathan as if to say, 'I told you so'. "Um, you know what? I think he just left early for... for school."

Catherine threw her hands up in the air as she whispered to Jonathan, "That's exactly what I suggested." Joyce thanked Karen and hung up the phone. She looked really worried.

"I'm really sorry Joyce." Cat hopped off the counter and walked over to the woman to give her a hug. "If I'd just have followed him back here, you would know where he is."

Joyce wrapped her arms around the teenager, "It's okay. We'll find him. It isn't your fault."

Cat pulled away from the hug and looked at the clock. "Shit. I've got to go. Jonathan, are you still able to give me a lift today? I mean I could always cycle to school today. Or... or I could stay and help you look for Will?"

"You get to school dear." Joyce told her. "I'm sure if Jonathan drove you, you'd get there in time."

Jonathan nodded his head, grabbing his car keys and headed outside to his car, telling his mum that he'd be back soon.

"I'll come by after school. I'm sure Will's fine. He's got to be." Catherine gave Joyce one more reassuring hug before rushing outside and jumping into the passenger seat next to Jonathan. She pushed down any guilt that started to bubble up. She should have insisted on walking Will home, then they'd know where he was.

***

A little while later, Jonathan’s car pulled to a stop in the carpark outside Hawkin’s High. Catherine’s hand hovered over the door handle as she undid her seatbelt. “Thanks for giving me a lift, Jonathan. You didn’t have to. I know you’ve got a lot going on today.” She grabbed hold of her bag from between her feet, pushing the door open slightly.

“It’s no problem, honestly. Besides, it’s our routine and I was gonna drive into town anyway.”

Cat hummed, pushing the car door open further and placing one foot on the tarmac. “I take it you’re not coming into school today.” She turned her head to look at him and the boy shook his head. “Well, I’ll pass on any work that you miss.”

Jonathan smiled at her. “Thanks, Cat.”

Catherine nodded at him. “No problem.” She gathered her belongings into her arms and stepped out into the chilly November air.

“Hey, do you need a home this evening?” Jonathan called, just as she was about to shut the door.

“Oh shit, I left my bike at yours.” Cat sighed. “Yeah, I probably will. But if you can’t, I’ll get the bus. See you later Byers.” She waved with her free hand as she slammed the car door shut.

"See you later Henderson." Jonathan called, sending her a wave as he drove off.

Catherine took a moment to herself before she turned and began heading into the school. Spotting Nancy just a few feet in front of her, she called out for her friend. "Hey, Wheeler!" She called, shoving past people in order to reach the girl. "Hey, Nancy! Wait up!”

Nancy finally heard her and stopped walking, turning around to face Cat. "Oh, hey Cat. I didn't see you."

"Or hear me, apparently.” Cat chuckled.

Before either of the two could say anything else, Barbara fell in line with the two of them and began walking on Nancy’s other side. "So, did he call?" She asked.

"Did who call?" Cat asked them, not understanding.

"Steve. And keep your voice down, Barb."

 “Ah, yes. Of course, Steve.” She sighed, rolling her eyes. When were they not talking about Nancy's significant other, Catherine's ex-best friend and secret crush?

"Did he?" Barbara asked, nudging Nancy’s arm.

"Yeah, Nancy, did your pretty little boyfriend call?" Cat asked, clearly mocking the girl. She didn't mean to, but it was becoming annoying with how often Nancy talked about Steve Harrington.

"I told you, it's not like that." Barbara gave Nancy a look, knowing she was lying. "Okay, I mean, yes, he likes me, but not like that."

"Then like what? How does he like you if it's not 'like that'?" Cat asked. "I've seen him look at you and it's very clear how much he likes you."

The three girls approached Nancy's locker. "We just... made out a couple times." Nancy told the two other girls as she opened her locker. Catherine leaned on the locker next to Nancy's, watching her friends.

"'We just... made out a couple times.'" Barbara mocked Nancy, using a dreamy voice. "Nance, seriously, you're gonna be so cool now, it's ridiculous."

"No, I'm not." Nancy disagreed.

"You are. You totally are, Wheeler." Cat told her, looking completely bored as she leaned on the locker next to her friend’s.

"You better still hang out with us, that's all I'm saying."

Cat nodded her head. “Yeah, I can’t afford to lose another friend to the popular asshole clique.” She half joked.

"If you become friends with Tommy H. or Carol-" Barb started, being quickly cut off by Nancy.

Nancy shook her head, waving her hand at the pair. "Oh, that's gross. Okay, I'm telling you, it was a one-time..." Both girls raised their eyebrows at Nancy. "Two-time thing."

Cat rolled her eyes as she watched Nancy pull a note out of her locker. "What's that you got there, Wheeler?" She teased.

Both Barbara and Cat leant over their friend’s shoulder to read the scrawny handwriting: “Meet me. Bathroom. -Steve.”

“You were saying?” Barbara asked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She smiled teasingly at the small blush forming on Nancy’s cheeks.

Catherine excused herself from the two girls. "I've got to go. See you two later." She couldn't help it, she couldn't help the feeling of jealousy that was bubbling up inside her. She hated it. She hated how jealous she was because Nancy got to date Steve Harrington, the guy Cat had been practically in love with since they started high school (even if he did dump her for popularity). It was ridiculous, feeling like this when her friend was just simply being happy. But, Nancy was getting a better status while Cat was still being picked on and bullied by everyone else except her three friends- Jonathan, Barbara and Nancy. And though Steve wasn’t one of the people that picked on her, he didn’t exactly stop his friends who did. Hell, most days he didn’t even acknowledge her existence.

Cat pushed her way through the crowds of students to the bathroom on the opposite side of the school, not wanting to be anywhere near where Nancy was meeting Steve. She shoved open the door to the stall furthest from the entrance and sunk down to the floor. She locked the door before burying her face in her knees, forcing herself to not let the tears fall from her eyes. They would be stupid tears anyway. It’s not like Nancy knew of her crush on Steve, the poor girl wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was simply going after a boy she liked, and Cat was trying so hard to be supportive of her friend, but she couldn’t sit through any more conversations that circled back to being about Steve. It was becoming too much.

But the tears began to fall anyway, and pretty quickly she found herself crying in the girls’ toilet. Her thoughts drifted to poor, small Will Byers and she couldn’t help but feel guilty for his disappearance. She was supposed to have cycled him home. That was her job as the group’s unofficial babysitter. But she let him cycle home on his own against her better judgement, and now his family didn’t know where he was. How could she visit their house again, how could she show her face to the Byers knowing it was her fault that Will wasn’t there with them.

She let the tears fall until the bell rang to signal the second period of the day. She ripped off some of the toilet paper, making sure to wipe both her eyes and her nose, before picking herself up off the floor. “Pull yourself together.” She whispered to herself, hand hovering over the door handle. “There’s no need to be jealous of Nancy. They’re gonna find Will. He’s gonna come home. They’ll find him.” She repeated the last phrase in her head over and over as she unlocked the stall door and washed her hands. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

***

“Ah, man. This is it.” Lucas sighed as the cycled down the hill towards the woods. After being pestered by the boys once they’d all arrived home from school, Catherine had agreed to come out and help them look for Will. It didn’t take much to get her to agree to help. The guilt was beginning to eat her up inside and she didn’t want any of the other boys to disappear while looking for their friend, especially not her brother. It would kill her. The only problem was that she had unfortunately forgotten to grab a jacket before Dustin had dragged her out of the house to meet the other two outside Mike’s house.

They came to a stop at the edge of the woods where there was a piece of police tape strung between the trees. Cat let out a sigh as she dismounted her old bike. "You three stay close. Okay? I'm not having any more of you kids going missing. Not while I'm around. You got it?" They all nodded. "Especially you Dustin.” She pointed to her younger brother. “Mom would kill me."

Dustin nodded his head at her, jumping off his own bike. "Hey, guys. You feel that?" He asked the others as thunder rumbled in the distance. "I think maybe we should go back."

"No." Mike said, determined to find their friend. "We're not going back. Just stay close, like Cat said. Come on. Just stay on channel six. Don’t do anything stupid." He parked his bike before starting to walk through the forest and the rest followed, leaving their bikes behind.

"Hey, Mike." Cat called out to him after a few minutes. "Did Nancy have any plans tonight? It's just, she rarely hangs out with me outside school anymore."

The younger Wheeler shrugged his shoulders, glancing back at her. "Um, all I know was that I saw Steve climbing through her window when I left." Cat couldn’t help the frustrated sigh that left her lips.

"Do you have a crush on him, or something?" Lucas questioned her. She simply rolled her eyes at him, deciding to give a verbal response.

"Kit's like totally in love with him." Dustin blurted out.

"I'm gonna kill you, Dustin." Cat muttered angrily, shaking her head disappointedly at him.

Mike pulled a face of disgust as he looked over to her. "You're in love with Steve Harrington? He's an asshole." He pointed out to her, rolling his eyes.

Catherine sighed softly. “Yeah, I know. I know he is.” She turned sharply towards her brother. “Dustin, you are so dead for telling them. That was a secret.”

"How was I meant to know it was a secret?!" Dustin argued back to her. “You never specified!” The two siblings began to bicker as the group walked further into the forest.

***

The rain had begun to fall a lot harder with the sound of thunder growing louder the deeper they walked into the woods. Drenched head to toe, Cat was cursing herself for forgetting to wear her coat. With each step the group took, they yelled out the name of their friend. And the more that their voices echoed around the dark trees, the more the that Cat’s worry grew.

"Guys, I really think we should turn back." Dustin spoke up after a while of finding no sign of Will.

Cat nodded her head, wiping drops of rain from her face. "I agree. It's not safe out here." She wrapped her arms around herself in hopes that she would be slightly less cold. She wasn’t.

"Seriously, Hendersons?" Lucas snapped at the siblings, annoyed they were already willing to give up their search. "You wanna be a baby, then go home already!"

"We're just being realistic, Lucas!" Dustin yelled back while Cat simply scowled at the younger boy.

"No, you're just being a big sissy!" Lucas shot back.

“No! You’re not being realistic, Lucas. It’s dark and it’s beginning to storm.” Cat shouted over the noise of the rain and thunder. “We’re not gonna have a good chance of finding Will like this. There’s more chance of us ending up like Will than finding him by wandering around the woods at night!” She stressed to him.

"Do you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad?" Dustin asked them out of the blue.

"Don't say that. God, please, just don't suggest that." Catherine pleaded, hoping that wasn't the case and he was just seriously lost. She didn't think she could live with her herself if something seriously bad had happened to him. If only she'd just insisted to walk him all the way home... She leant her back against a nearby tree, holding her head in her hands.

"And we're going to the exact same spot where he was last seen?" Dustin continued.

“This is a bad idea.” Cat muttered into her hands, shaking her head. “This is the worst idea any of you have ever had.” She straightened herself, grabbing hold of Lucas’ arm and beginning to turn around with the intention of heading back to where they’d left their bikes.

"Henderson, what the fuck are you doing?" Lucas shouted, yanking his arm out of her hold.

"I'm taking you guys back. And you're all going to go home." She ran a hand through her sopping wet hair. "I knew this was a bad idea. God, why didn't I stop you three? Why didn't I just cycle home with Will and made sure he got home alright? Ugh, this is all my fault. This is all my fault."

"May I remind you that we have no weapons, or anything. At all." Dustin pointed out as the boys ignored Catherine’s demanded to turn back.

"Dustin, shut up." Mike said to the curly haired boy as they continued to walk further into the woods.

"I'm just saying, does that seem smart to you?"

"Dustin’s right. This isn’t smart.” Cat voiced her opinion. “Why don’t we come back in the morning when it’s light out and hopefully not raining. Or, you know, let the police do their jobs and look for Will themselves.” She shrugged her shoulders sarcastically.

"Shut up. Shut up." The group finally stopped bickering and they heard what Mike had been trying to listen for. Somewhere nearby was the rustling of leaves. “Do you guys hear that?" More rustling could be heard, and the group quickly pointed their torches at the trees. Cat stood in front of the boys to make sure whatever was near them couldn't harm them. There was more rustling, and the group sharply turned to their right to see a girl stood in a long, drenched t-shirt, eyes wide with fear. At least, she looked like a girl- it was difficult to tell between the dim light and her shaved head.