#baker beasties

[mcforwhatiam]

Beastie Boys in Paris, 2009

By Philip Andelman (X)

[currentlydrowninginthephandom]

To be fair, baking is literally chemistry. So the connection is even stronger. Certain recipes do not turn out if a certain reaction does not happen correctly due to insufficient measurements of ingredients or improper timing of steps

Something ive noticed about dp fics is that a lot of times the science aspect is like the whole joke of it being more like cooking, especially seen with like Jack or with teacher Danny, and like it actually DOES make sense if we think about ectoplasmic chemistry as organic chemistry

Organic chemistry (like everything to do with carbons, the like base atom of everything alive) IS a lot like cooking in the fact that all you really need to worry how much of the reactants is being used-- everything else (solvents, drying agents, yada yada) is a hand wavy "use as much as needed"

So! Ectoplasm being the basis of everything DEAD could lead to this wishy washy "chemistry is like cooking" thing!!

Just something ive been thinking about

[kalmiaphlox]

SNIPPET SUNDAY (monday)

Tagged by @bardic-inspo Thank you!! 🥰

Just a snippet from the batstarion shortfic coming up. He's an angry little beastie!

++++

“My, oh my, irthiski, seems I'm not the only shape changer around.” She rubs at his fuzzy head with a finger, and in typical Astarion-fashion, he bares teensy fangs that shimmer like pearls. “What a cutiepie! I could eat you right up!”

That raises another teeny squeak from him, though she can hear the rage burning behind it. How mighty it is, but a dragon does not cower from such things.

“You should be able to speak normally, come on, use your words.” Kalmia nudges him a bit too hard, knocking him over on the sheets. “Oops, sorry!”

There's little grumbling noises that sound suspiciously like speaking, he must be getting a grasp of this new body, it'll take time. Astarion is wobbling around best he can, using his wings as crutches to stand up, the little hook at the end catching on the bedding so he gets stuck, letting out more angry squeaks.

++++

Tagging: @busy-baker, @spacebarbarianweird, @micropoe10, @tadpoleatemybrain and anyone else who'd like to post something 😘

[clockwrkcabaret]

Episode 768: Originally Aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 11.10.24

WARNING! This show is for adults. We drink cocktails, have potty mouths and, at least, one of us was raised by wolves.

The Clockwork Cabaret is a production of Agony Aunt Studios. Featuring that darling DJ Duo, Lady Attercop and Emmett Davenport. Our theme music is made especially for us by Kyle O’Door.

This episode aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 11.10.24.

New episodes air on Mad Wasp Radio on Sundays @ 12pm GMT! Listen at www.madwaspradio.com or via TuneIn radio app!

Playlist:

David J. & Jill Tracy – Bela Lugosi’s Dead (Undead Is Forever)

Nicki Jaine – One More Show

Opera Chaotique – The Phantom of the Opera Is Dead

Bosko Baker – It’s Only Two Dollars

Bitter Pill – When We’re All Dead

Yes Ma’am – G Burns

The Resonant Rogues – Misery Is My Company

Arroyo Deathmatch – Apex Tragedy

Ghost Number – The Unknown

Black Pumas – Tomorrow

Fantastic Negrito – Goddamn Biscuit

Ibeyi – Rise Up Wise Up Eyes Up

Khruangbin – Hold Me Up (Thank You)

Leyla McCalla – Take Me Away

Orville Peck – The Curse of the Blackened Eye

Nicky Egan – Changes

Alanna Royale – Can We Go Back? (One-Take)

Arima Ederra – Loverman

Big Joanie – Insecure

Special Interest & Mykki Blanco – Midnight Legend

The Brat – Just Another Day

X-Ray Spex – I Am a Poseur

Grinderman – Mickey Mouse And The Goodbye Man

Beastie Boys – The Sounds Of Science

Check out this episode!

[e-dash-lace]

My Very Own Locked Tomb Playlist

A bunch of songs that I listened to while I was doing a Summer 2024 re-read of The Locked Tomb (mostly Harrow and Nona) in no particular order. I took notes because this fandom makes you crazy and Spotify is so stupid that instead of having a notes feature, it has an algorithm that makes you a new playlist four times a day that's called something like "gut-wrenching wailing girl dinner slay brat summer afternoon." Anyway, notes under the cut (spoilers for the entire series sorry)

Psychic Wound - King Woman

The song that Ianthe puts on the radio when she needs to focus to give Harrow her lobotomy. (In all honesty though I think that most songs off of the I Saw the TV Glow playlist go kind of crazy over Harrow the Ninth. Something something horror of being a queer teenager.)

Intergalactic - The Beastie Boys

When Gideon the Ninth the animated feature length film opens, the opening credits play to this song. This song also plays during Camila's fight with Ianthe Naberius on New Rho

Go Away Little Girl - Percy Faith & His Orchestra

This song really screams Jod to me. It plays during John 8:1. Like really close your eyes and imagine it. Like there's no sound it's just like a jumbled up bunch of slow motion scenes.

My Smile is Extinct - Kane Strang

Honestly I just needed to put this song on the playlist because it's the kind of depression song that's like just goofy enough to make you laugh even when you're sad. RIP Harrow Nonagesimus. She would have loved My Smile is Extinct by Kane Strang.

Army of Me - Bjork

Another sword fight song. This song plays during Gideon and Harrow's first fight on the Ninth House. I think that my brainworms just also really wanted to bring some of that girls fighting in steampunk muted colors vibe from Sucker Punch into this playlist.

Growing Pains - Ethel Cain

The queen brainworm living in my mind demands that all playlists I make have 1 Ethel Cain song. I can't really tell you how this fits, but when I tried to remove it, I thought "no. she stays" This song is Harrow the Ninth coded but maybe like Harrow Coffee Shop AU

Jesus Is the One (I Got Depression) - Zack Fox

First House National Anthem I fear. If I had money, I would pay it to comission a Harrow the Ninth animatic to this song.

Sunday - The Cranberries

Not really sure why this is on the playlist. I think it might have been an accident, but also it just sounds kind of appropriate so it stays :)

August Underground - Ethel Cain

Spotify gave me a really really good daylist ONCE that was just like atmospheric music (mostly from videogames). It was so stellar that I saved it! I listened to that playlist while I was reading like the last 25% of Nona. This song plays throughout all of NtN Chapter 28 or at the very least an extended scenes of Sex Pal and Camilla turning into Paul.

Ghosts in the Static - Ben Babitt

Atmospheric music to listen to while Nona drives through the River. A lot of the songs on the KRZ soundtrack fit that vibe. If you want music to drive on the River to, you should listen to the Kentucky Route Zero soundtrack.

Dumbest Girl Alive - 100 Gecs

I think that Gideon Nav would be a really big 100 gecs fan

Thick Skull (Re: Julien Baker) - Paramore & Julien Baker

I think that Jod would be a really big fan of Paramore. I think this song is about Jod, but it's the song that plays during the flashback scene when Gideon kicks Wake out of the airlock and she falls into the Ninth House

Bad Lil Vibe - Coco & Clair Clair

HEAR ME OUT. In my mind, Jod has gifted Ianthe a cassette player and for some reason, the only cassette that's in it is like some collectible 10th anniversary cassette tape of the album Sexy by Coco & Clair Clair. (that doesn't exist yet but it will). I feel like Coco and Clair Clair are good music for the Coronabeth and Ianthe dynamic duo, but I think that this song is for Ianthe. I think it has that evil hot mess (not like Sharpay Evans evil hot mess, more like Shego with smeared lipstick and a broken heart at the club) vibe that the Saint of Awe brings to the table.

4AEM - Grimes

Grimes TO ME ok IMO strikes me as someone who in 2015 would have been fancast as ianthe because she's blond, skinny, and like swinging around a long sword in her music videos like someone who just kind of thinks that swords are cool conceptually and will go well with the special effects but couldn't actually use one to defend themselves if it came down to it and that's really ianthe tridentarius-core TO ME. I imagine that deep down Ianthe hoped that becoming a lyctor meant she would get to be like an international pop star but more. Not to digress but this song is an Ianthe Tridentarius fight song.

Combat Baby - Metric

Actually lol okay hear me out. So actually Ianthe was also gifted a cd player by jod and this is the song that she cries to (ALONE) when she thinks about Harrow. I think Ianthe wishes she had a y2k style but she was just born in the wrong decade sorry

Pluto - Bjork

This is the song that is playing after Harrow wakes up and Gideon is inside her brain helping her fight Cytherea. I think snippets or like altered instrumental versions of this song also play in each trial that Harrow and Gideon work through. Like some version of this song is definitely playing the first time Harrow siphons Gideon to get those keys

Femininomenon - Chapell Roan

First of all, what is any playlist made in 2024 without a Chapell Roan song on it. Second, when I first wrote this note I imagined this as the song that plays immediately after mercy kills Jod and then like there's a full 3 minute music video where like Mercy is on lead vocals, she's like arguing with Augustine a bit then they're like dancing and then the song really abruptly cuts off right before the end when Jod sucks himself back together. Alternatively, this song plays every single time Nona sees a woman.

Dream Girl Evil - Florence and the Machine

Alectopause Hive International Anthem In the parallel universe where Nona the Ninth was released as a webcomic or like an AO3 fic, Taz Muir has linked this song in the Notes and there are 1000 animatics of the Nona epilogue with this song.

Springbreakers - Charli XCX

Alectopause hive international anthem 2 electric boogaloo (Remember how I said "gut-wrench9ing wailing girl dinner slay brat summer afternoon"? I meant that) I would also accept this song as the Nona epilogue animatic song

Bit of A Monster - Vylet Pony

I can't explain this one. I don't know why it's here it just has to be. If you made it this far, leave ur theories in the tags idk.

Mysteries of the Cleft - death's dynamic shroud

I think like if you asked me to I could make a whole playlist of songs about being in the River, so this is either like a planetkiller harrow song or like the song that plays when Jod takes Ianthe and Harrow through the River the first time.

Kizaki Lake - Satoko Shibata

One thing about me, if there's an opportunity to put a Japanese song on the playlist, a Japanese song is going on the playlist and right now the other queen brainworm in my mind is the brainworm that's been addicted to this album since it was released in February and I think everyone should listen to it. The instrumental for this song plays throughout the entirety of Day One in Nona and IF I WAS IN CHARGE Satoko Shibata would be tapped to do the score for the film because she's just that good. Go listen to Your Favorite Things!

[rpfofficial]

beastie boys : boygenius

ad rock : julien baker

mca : lucy dacus

mike d : phoebe bridgers

[soupdrinkinglincoln]

Okay I’m just back from a local stage production of Beauty and the Beast and I’ve already said all the normal ‘wow that was so good’ stuff on Instagram so here’s the Tumblr Cut.

- Straight out the gate I can’t take any of this seriously because I’m watching a stage production and ‘Bonjour’ is playing and all I can think is ‘Fuck you Jafar!’

- From the top of the play as soon as Gaston was introduced I could see exactly why every woman in town wanted to fuck him dude was like 6’4 and absolutely killing it in terms of looks (it would seem like I fell for the Tumblr vice of ‘oh he’s super morally black but he’s kinda’) but as the play went on and he became super killy and adultery and shit he kinda lost all appeal which ironically I’m pretty sure was Lefou’s exact character arc in the live action version (which this was better than in 90% of aspects I’d say)

- Speaking of Lefou no notes, insane punchbag chaotic bisexual all throughout.

- Oh yeah and they actually entirely acknowledged with Gaston that he fully planned on boning every other woman in town whilst married to Belle so yeah definitely the first red flag there

- Gaston (the song) had a long interim and GOOD GOD BELLE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS A SMALL PROVINCIAL TOWN EVERY WOMAN EXCEPT YOU IS DOUBLE FISTING PINTS! EGGS ARE TWENTY QUID A DOZEN BUT WHISKEY RUNS LIKE RAINWATER APPARENTLY!

- Act 2 began with Belle being attacked in the woods by a pack of savage furries which was just absolutely great

- Not actually mentioning the Beast much he was just pretty good throughout most of my notes are with Jimmy Congratulations and the village people tbh

- When Gaston was rallying his troops the baker was amongst them. He brought a seventy year old man wielding a rolling pin in rage with him to kill Michael Myers’ fursona

- They completely skipped the furniture fight scene which was my only big disappointment. LET THE WARDROBE KILL A MAN!

- Speaking of the furniture they had what looked to be an eight year old boy screwed into a cabinet with a cup hat and wheeled around like Hannibal Lecter for the whole performance

- It was also implied that whilst Lumiere and Babette were still romantically involved they may also each have a harem and a reverse harem respectively?????

- Ofc Beastie Boy lost every single DILF feature he’d built up including the beard when he became human (YES I KNOW YOU’RE 21 BUT I’M 19 AND PEOPLE ALREADY GIVE ME THE ‘DILF’ LABEL IT’S NOT THAT HARD GET A BEARD MAN)

And that was it! A touching story that reminds us all that it is possible to find love, even if you’re French. Through my own self dedication and careful rationing I managed to make a packet of Randoms and a bottle of sparkling water last me the whole show, and it was generally Really Good. In Tumblr ratings I’d give it 15k notes because of the capabilities it has for old man yaoi which everyone here seems to adore.

[acurlygirlamy1]

Does anyone have a song that they love to listen to that you turn up, sing along and it puts you in a good mood?

1. Stairway to heaven by Led zep.

2. Dream on by Aerosmith

3. Try a little tenderness by otis

4. How we operate by Gomez

5. Colorful by Rocco Deluca

6. Down by 311

7. River of Deceit by Mad Season

8. Soul by Matchbox20

9. Hand me down by Matchbox20

10. Humpty Dance by digital underground

11. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty

12. Thunderstruck by AC/DC

13. You shook me all night long⬆️

14. LA Bamba by los lobos

15. Devil went down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniel's Band

16. All my life by Foo fighters

17. Black by Pearl Jam

18. Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam

19. Man in the box by AiC

20. Rooster by Alice in chains

21. Sometimes it's a bitch by Stevie Nicks

22. Leather and lace

23. Sweet Girl

24. Stop dragging my heart around

25. Refugee by Tom Petty

26. Hotel California by the Eagles

27. The Logical song by super tramp

28. Uses to the pain by Tracy Lawrence

29. Cochise by Audioslave

30. I am the highway

31. Like a stone

32. Show me how to live

33. Down in a hole by AiC

34. Barracuda By Heart

35. Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog

36. Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana

37. Flagpole sitta by Harvey Danger

38. Cult of personality by living color

39. Beautiful people by Marilyn Manson

40. Crazy bitch by Buck cherry

41. Scars by Papa Roach

42. Paint it black by the Rolling Stones

43. Still counting by Volbeat

44. More Human than Human by white zombie

45. Click Click Boom by Saliva

46. Self esteem by the offspring

47. You ought know by Alanis Morrisette

48. Times like these by Foo fighters

49. Whole Lotta love by Led Zepplin

50. Little pieces by Gomez

51. Girls by Beastie Boys

52. Running on Sunshine by Jesus Jackson

53. Since you been gone by Kelly Clatkson

54.Nobody knows by queen of the stone age

55. Mama I'm coming home by Ozzy Osborne

56. Fuel

57. Ronnie

58. One by Metallica ⬆️

*in no particular order*

Somebody on here once asked me to make a list of my top 100 songs...I struggled to narrow it down. When your trying to put your list together remembering 1 song or album leads to 2 or 3 more...and memories.

[punkbakerchristine]

11 o’clock at night and I’m thinking about my rye bread

i really liked making this one back in october, as my second loaf of bread following the standard bloomer. i think this was the one that made me realize that being a baker is going to make me extra toned in the muscle department, simply because of the kneading: the basic bloomer is just 400 grams of flour, 10 grams of salt, 8 grams of yeast, and 120 milliliters of water, mixed in the bowl with your hand and then kneaded out on the countertop with a thin layer of olive oil underneath until it’s smooth and then you let it proof for an hour and a half, and then you take it back out and rub some flour over on it and “knock” the air out of it and let it proof a second time for an hour.

bread proofing requires putting the dough in a glass bowl that’s been oiled down—you never want to do it in a metal bowl because it can contaminate the dough—and i like to set it in the oven with just the light on, or at least someplace warm in the house. the yeast will do their job in a warm environment, but not too warm (the bakers on the british baking show have proofing drawers right next to their ovens but you know. not all of us are as lucky).

this beastie called for rye flour and some pale ale: paul said in his cookbook that rye flour is heavier than regular old bread flour or all-purpose, and—

yeah. no exaggeration.

i remember it being heavy and dark and grainy and reeking of hops from the ale, and i was pushing my full weight against it, too (this was back when i was still around 230 pounds, too, so you could say i was doing calisthenics 🤪). and yet, i still managed to make the dough smooth. and because rye flour is heavier, it had to proof for 2 to 3 hours. and so i let it proof for about 2 hours and it had doubled in size: i took it out of the bowl and floured it down and knocked the air out of it—knocking is a lot like kneading but it’s slower, more deliberate, more emphasis on folding and using your knuckles.

i then shaped it into a loaf shape and made a paste/glaze of sorts, of the ale and some rye flour for the top, to which I set it aside. as for second proofing, you want to lay the dough on the baking sheet and loosely wrap it in a large plastic bag so the yeast can continue to breathe. i honestly have no idea why the dough spread out and turned into a disk the way it did, but there was very little i could do at that point: my oven needed to preheat and the sun was going down at that point, too. so, i fired up the oven to 220° celsius (about 430° for an american electric oven like what i have) and spread the paste over the top of the dough. with my fingers smelling of ale, i washed them off really quickly and picked out a cup of oats to spread over the crown.

with the oven ready, i stuck the loaf in there for 25 minutes, and then i bumped down the heat to 200° c/395° f for another 10, if i recall correctly?

it came out looking like… ^that. but the flavor was incredible, and it was delicious with some butter and a bowl of soup. i thought of the presence of rye bread in the jewish diaspora upon letting it cool on the rack, and i knew right away that it would be something to save. i think this was also the thing that confirmed to me that i’m really partial to rustic or “vulgar” recipes, probably because of the beer and the oats! 🍞👩🏻‍🍳

[runawaymun]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @fenharel-enaste, thank you!!! This looks fun :D

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope. I was named due to the meaning.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uh two days ago when the Horrors were upon me.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Sarcasm is like 98% of my humor and it really gets me in trouble sometimes. D:

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Prev said vibes and I have to second that. It's hard to really explain, but I'm just always paying attention to how someone makes me feel when talking to them. I've got pretty bad social anxiety and a traumatic background so if I find someone who gives off comfy vibes who I feel safe around, that's a pretty big deal. I'm always weighing how safe I am around people.

6. What's your eye colour?

Light blue.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Both?

"Happy" endings is a loaded term for me. I don't always need stories to have "happy" endings, but I do want catharsis in some way shape or form. If I don't get catharsis, then why are we even here lol

8. Any special talents?

Mimicking character voice when writing. If we're going to go with a random specific talent. I like to think I have a knack for making characters sound like themselves when I'm writing fanfic.

9. Where were you born?

Portland, Oregon :)

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing (obviously), playing video games (especially survival and RPGs), discussing fiction with friends, DnD when my chronic illness is behaving, reading, making music playlists

11. Have you any pets?

Three cats :) Malka (curly tailed half feral beastie we got off the street), Patrick (orange clinically stupid sweet boy), and Rhaenyra (wee zoom zoom kitten. A menace).

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Literally zero D: we weren't really a family that did "sports" growing up. I did a bit of ballet and some swim lessons. I always wanted to do gymnastics, though!

13. How tall are you?

4'9" or so.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Absolutely any history classes (but mostly any kind of pre 20th century history!), and chemistry.

15. Dream job?

cottage-in-the-woods resident, baker of bread, ideally making enough money to support myself via any combo of my art skills.

TAGGING WITH NO PRESSURE: @robertaramayo @jaz-the-bard @raointean @eldritchteletubbie @softlypause @bananaphanta @creativity-of-death @elrond-kind-as-summer @modernmythic @blueberryrock @valasania-the-pale @themerriweathermage @the-commonplace-book @ichabodjane @ramyun-monster

[lumi-klovstad-games]

My thoughts on Marvel's Avengers: Definitive Edition now that I've had half a day of playtime or so with the beastie:

This is a fine enough game, and one where I can easily see the potential it always had. Most, if not all, of this game's problems were solvable. The simple elimination of the cash shop alone, and the act of entrusting players with the plethora of customization options they always really wanted in the game's twilight weeks in online storefronts really shows how much of this game's negative reputation stemmed from corporate grift, not a lack of love and care by the developers. If Crystal Dynamics had the ability (or the willingness, whichever was lacking most) to say "no" to their corporate bosses, this would have been a much more well loved game.

The combat is good enough -- keeping such a diverse roster of heroes feeling relatively distinct from each other and yet not forcing players to abandon muscle memory and allowing them to lean on what they've learned with other heroes at a basic level is no easy feat, and while maybe there's TOO MUCH interchange between hero control schemes for my liking, I can't say Crystal Dynamics chose poorly here, as indeed I might have come to the same conclusion had it been my job to figure out where that line was. As it is, once you learn how Kamala Khan plays in the campaign, you are well prepared to be competent with any other hero, though picking up their divergences and eccentricities is a matter of leveling up and unlocking their corresponding abilities, but animations, haptic feedback, and excellent sound design do a much better job carrying more weight than they should have had to.

The voice cast is superb. If you've been a fan of literally any Avengers animated series since 2010, you're well familiar with the cast of characters voicing this beloved cast of characters. Nobody here is a surprise, and they all bring their long-running interpretations of the Marvel roster to this game. Welcome back, Nolan North, Laura Bailey, Troy Baker, Travis Willingham, and Jennifer Hale. You're always welcome around these parts. In addition, we have prior Marvel voice alumni like Danny Jacobs and Jameison Price turning up all over the place. You've heard these versions of Earth's Mightiest Heroes before, and in no way is that unwelcome.

The VAs are supported by a story that's… well… it's …adequate. Where it's present, it's fun, if standard and cliche, but sometimes that's just how comic book plots go. The Avengers have been un-Assembled, and it's up to in-universe super-powered superfan Kamala Khan to start getting the band back together so they can stop the mad scientist from generally being a comic book supervillain. Very boilerplate stuff, but it's delivered well.

That is, WHEN it's being delivered.

All the story campaigns are unreasonably short because some unforgivable chucklefuck at Square-Enix decided to tell Crystal Dynamics, a predominantly single-player game developer, to make the next Destiny 2 (begging the question of why anyone would WANT that, given that one Destiny 2 is already far too many). Doubtless, upper management believed that the cooperative multiplayer aspect of the game would carry the bulk of player engagement, but Crystal Dynamics was an inexperienced developer when it came to live service titles, and they were not prepared to deliver on the unreal demands of keeping such a game consistently updated. Cooperative missions are largely cookie cutter affairs taking place in a small handful of environments that all begin to bleed together before long, and there aren't THAT MANY more multiplayer missions than story missions, in the end. These samey environments aren't visited for long, often between 5 and 15 minutes at a pop, and bada-bing, you're back to the Quinjet to pick out your next mission, which JARVIS will helpfully inform you is TOTALLY IMPORTANT, ACTUALLY, but after curbstomping hundreds of robots and gas mask-clad anonymous henchmen in the same New York City underground labs for the fortieth time, you find yourself inclined to stop believing him after a while. This game just lacks content and variety in missions, activities, and enemies, and it's a shame Crystal Dynamics weren't allowed to play to their strengths here.

I don't feel that the lackluster mission variety kills the game for me though; I have plenty of other games and don't plan on LIVING in this one, and that's really where this Definitive Edition shines best: you don't have to live here. The only FOMO at play is that the game becomes unpurchasable in 6 days as of this writing. You don't have to fret over timed content, no waiting for the magical timer to reset, or the usual toxic shenanigans we typically associate with live service games.

You pay $4, get your game, and everything associated with it so you and your friends can shitpost as Marvel characters on the weekends. That alone makes this a much more practically rewarding game than most live services (coughDESTINYTWOcough). This game ain't a service anymore. It's a product, plain and simple. It's a product to buy and have fun with, and put away for a while when you want (or need) to do other things.

I don't know about you, but I call that a bargain.

[writer59january13]

Self help addict needles unsuspecting reader

Expounded late today April 27th, 2023 since being written countless years ago maybe a baker's dozen

as thee doodling cock doth crow scouting about for carrion

scavenging for dead animals

and rooting about garbage to sell

at annual corvus entrepôt,

where at birds eye view

buzzfeeding crowdsource talon (telling) the famed truth regarding chicken scratch scrawled illegibly by eccentric hand

now sought after collector's item signature birdbrained, bird dogged,

bird dinned long haired,

pencil necked geek recluse can be found in his grotto along with original manuscripts

characterizing Mark Twain

in general and Injun Joe

in particular linkedin

with Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn,

who suffered fools gladly,

but nevertheless being a security detail he dealt with hoodlums -

frequently tossing them out on their golden earring and experienced severe lumbago.

When dire circumstances extant do I ask

for anonymous benefactor to write me a blank check so edenic, idyllic, and pacific sunny

spring day yours truly can bask tapping a keg of spring water

stored in an airtight cask when thirsty, I pour into an ice cold

(not a tad above absolute zero)

temperature controlled flask while donned (underclothes

resembling Ally's gaiters),

and outer garments

emblematic of space suits my favorite martian outfit

and astronaut helmet and mask

to minimize contamination

paraphernalia acquired courtesy gofundme for assistance sans when cash strapped

since temptation to rob a bank dismissed

guru wannabe of gumption

buckles when he tackles

formidable onerous task. Otherwise an inner compulsion advocates dishing out non repeating

infinite decimal calculating pi on nearing infinite jesting kron limit

can unlock esprit de corp

spirit to tackle and barrel headlong novel circumstance silently cheering myself to get unstuck

if in quandary like eeyore and experience shuttered

gloating euphoria galore for

reasons spelled out because das saucy papa

coon sitters himself an insecure

noodle head as told me courtesy Kishore and Kouila Raval –

unsure if surname correct, (who approximately

forty five years ago lived at Colony Arms Apartments

within Audubon Pennsylvania, where yours truly felt infatuation toward their daughter named Menal)

woven into this reasonable rhyme as thoughts analogous

getting squeezed thru many a kernel pour

out corny and flaky as Tony the tiger in tandem with Katy Perry

emanating a figurative roar

to even out the score,

when as a boy alias scapegoat of bullies subsequently

pleaded for peace versus declaring war,

prepubescent and young adult of yore.

He admits being affected with Peter Pan's

jiffy (labyrinthe) syndrome

the prospect of becoming older, I decried physical maturation (wanted to remain being a little boy)

upon skinny legs objected to stand

when juiced a striping slip of a lad,

whether at home or in class room playing solitary candy land submissive toward parental

intervention against teachers’ pet(s) mandated got foisted upon my person equated to more than helping hand my lonely hearts club one young man band, whereby me late mother

(preceded date of this poem) before lovely bones of then octogenarian father

punctuated mortality with exclamation mark when tightly coiled resembles ampersand!

Said enabling parents offtimes

completed my entire major assignments,

homework, and major class project, say researching history of York reinforced dependence on others

with angst riddled psychic torque underscoring in boldface defects

mine genetically typed quirk

this then young man lacked confidence

as requisite perk

with inxs o faith no more seeds

of worthlessness did lurk

inferiority hardly groomed me

a foo fighting beastie boy resembling creature from Black Lagoon covered head to toe with mire and murk antagonistic role and potential enemy

characterized by Captain Kirk;

Hence without a spock of confidence, neither sensibility nor cents cause gifted with noggin quite dense consigned to bruit off fence against meself, an outlier never found among company of gents

which at presence doth incense

that middle aged male,

whence any aid pains like a lance

essentially donning out role of offence

particularly with lack of finances

where mine family rents.

[rufftimevinyl]

Riddle me this, my brother, can you handle it? Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique (1989) Don't skip - ALL OF THEM Underrated track - Shadrach So 1989 was a good year for music. Several of my favorite albums came out that year. The Cure's Disintegration, De La Soul's 3ft High, Pixies' Doolittle, Pretty Hate Machine from None Inch Nails...and this, the granddaddy, the OG...Paul's Boutique. This album so sounds as fresh today as it did the day it came out. The use of samples I think hit its high point with this album. They came from everywhere...Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, Zamrock, cartoons, movies...even answering machines. They sampled everyone, including themselves. Shake Your Rump alone has 14 samples by 12 artists...on one single song...mixed to perfection with beat changes, break downs and even samples of bongs and straws. And this was before there were digital pads. No hitting a button, it was serious work using samplers that could hold only a small bit of info at a time. The Dust Brothers absolutely made perfection with the tracks. And don't think the Beasties just slacked off. Their rhymes were as dense as the tracks, and we're all over the place. They had references going from pop culture, to hippies, to political satire to biblical allusions. One of my favorites is Shadrach. It's a loose allusion to the biblical story of Sharach, Meshach and Abednego, and how they choose to be burnt by Nebuchadnezzar II rather than bowing to the king's image. They turn the parable on its head and turned it into a boast that they run their lives and choose who and what they honor. That was a bold statement coming from 3 punks who hit it as a novelty rap group. It was a statement of intent. This album just kills...and I could easily go into each song and opine ad nauseum...but I won't. Instead I'll say listen to this album and 3ft High And Rising today...to me, the most influential sample albums of all time. #samples #beastieboys #fattyvinylsession #discogs #vinyl #vinygram #vinylcommunity #audiotechnica #vinycollector #that33rpmlife #recordcollector #vinyljunkie #nowplaying #nowspinning #igvinyl #vinyladdict #instavinyl #onmyturntable #vinyllove (at Chateau Ruff N Baker City Deux) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpVZr9Ru1ug/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sudeikisfms]

Their mom and I have always made them listen to our music, so they've grown up on Queen, Guns N Roses, Beyonce, The Rolling Stones, Otis Redding... My son discovered The Beastie Boys completely by himself when he was about two or three years old and we were thrilled. I know everyone says it, but my kids are genuinely fucking cool. Honestly, me too. Old school rock is my sound, and old school R&B too, and I could go all the way back to LaVern Baker and Aretha Franklin with that.

Man, your son sure is listening to some proper tunes right there. Doesn’t sound too bad. Imagine not appreciating music and sitting still all through it? Nah, not my kind of people. I’ve been on a Led Zeppelin run lately. I appreciate any good old school rock and indie rock. Arctic Monkeys are probably my fave band. But then of course, I’m biased as hell and still listen to a lot of Queen. But yeah just some decent rock, that’s up my alley.

[mcforwhatiam]

When I first read Beastie Boys book, I didn't have the, um, issues, I have now. Anyway was looking for something in it last night and stumbled upon this, which I hadn't recalled seeing before.

Bonus smiley cutie: