#badsalmonella

[hopecel]

[josie-and-the-pussycats-2001]

Girls when they're winning at Monopoly

HELPPPPPPPP NOT THE MONOPOLY MAN SERVE

[queer-ragnelle]

🧸 for ya bestie Ragnelle

🧸Headcanon about childhood

Ragnelle is 10 years older than her brother Gromer. Since their parents died, he’s her little guy. Her little shadow. It’s like Agravaine and Mordred but way healthier.

[waitformereprise]

Happy birthday! Hope you have a good one 🫶🏼🫶🏼

omg tumblr user badsalmonella former tumblr user holyhairbrush.... thank you 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[the-haiku-bot]

If she doesn’t make

it in season 2 I’ll end

it all on the SPOT!!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

If she doesn’t make it in season 2 I’ll end it all on the SPOT!!

[mooremars]

So glad my Jordan Donica content has reached its target audience (two people)

[lucygraysmockingjays]

See? He pulls his head out of his ass and promises to never leave her and they live happily ever after in Twelve and Coriolanus Snow ends up being Katniss and Prim’s weird great uncle who yells at birds like IT ALL ENDS UP OKAY

(Also can’t believe that I haven’t posted these on tumblr before but my beautiful snowbaird commissions by the sweet @badsalmonella)

[cloudjumpervalka]

guenevere for @badsalmonella ! 🌸

[snowrassa]

Tag game: tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better

Thanks for tagging me, @badsalmonella wahhooooo 🫶

Last song: Was listening to the ace attorney soundtrack and Not Feeling It for whatever reason

Currently watching: Just started watching Ugly Betty for the first time, it's good mindless fun. Also watching Merlin with the arthurian theatre discord. And rewatching Silicon Valley and the Office, I need low-stakes background noise to function lol

Three ships: Arthur/Guenevere/Lancelot hheeheehe Anya/Dmitry from Anastasia the musical Hrmmmm none of my other ships make my head spin enough rn to be awarded third place

Favourite color: Had a pink awakening when I was 19 and have been basking in the pink glow ever since

Currently consuming: A mandarin, eating fruit means the January blues are ending

First Ship: The evil answer is Me/Luke Triton when I was nine AKJDBKJSDLJKSA Normal answer I think is Rapunzel/Eugene or Howl/Sophie. I didn't know what to do with how much a I loved these pairs other than screenshot every frame of their films on my samsung galaxy mini

Relationship status: Single 🧍‍♀️

Last movie: The Sword of Lancelot!

Currently working on: I'm an early career artist/curator in my offline life, so exhibition applications galore. For fun, I'm learning my arthurian lore, long may the hyperfixation last 💪💪💪

Tagging: @rainsofcamelot @chevaliermalfets @wandrenowlereacts @queer-ragnelle @dalekkiller333 @availableburr please feel free to ignore <3

[whorphydice]

Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure a mere 26 minutes into bridgerton season 3 to not say anything to @badsalmonella

[wolfbabedeluxe]

9 Ship Songs

I was tagged by @vlwv to share 9 songs for a ship? I like a challenge, so I decided to pick 9 ships, and try to narrow down one song for each! (I will also post links to my playlists* cuz there were so many good songs that didn't make the cut)

tagging @ladydimitriscu , @badsalmonella , & anyone else who want to share some ship music 💖

shepard/garrus (mass effect) - 1,000 light years away (chelsea lee greenwood)

And I should've said it before you were gone Because I'm kicking myself for waiting oh so long And I should've held you near Every time I fear Somehow you just wouldn't feel the same So please don't say that'll you go My heart can't bear the news Just knowing that you'll be a thousand light years away If you do

warden/alistair (dragon age: origins) - haven (we banjo 3)

Lay down your weapons, lay down with me We will stare at the stars and think what life could be Island of memories we'll leave them where they lie Could we make the choice for love and joy

hawke/varric (dragon age 2) - so close (jon mclaughlin)

So close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend And now you're beside me And look how far we've come So far we are, so close

hawke/fenris (dragon age 2) - stay (amelie)

Stay where you are Safe in a frame Try to move closer You'll only get halfway Pin down your heart Put out the flame Don't come any close But don't move away

inquisitor/sera (dragon age: inquisition) - honey (kehlani)

I like my girls just like I like my honey, sweet A little selfish I like my women like I like my money, green A little jealous 'Cause I'm a beautiful wreck A colorful mess, but I'm funny

kanan/hera (star wars: rebels) - boats & birds (gregory and the hawk)

But you can skyrocket away from me And never come back if you find another galaxy Far from here with more room to fly Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

mc/cove (our life: beginnings and always) - that part (lauren spencer smith)

I hate the middle, let's skip to the part when you kiss me Surrounded by friends and our family Know we're too young to get married We knew from the start I'm sick of waiting, so can we just skip to that part?

mc/derek (our life: beginnings and always) - so nice (carly)

So nice Incredibly honest Polite So nice, all night He's right to me It's turning me on that He's the kind of superstar That would only steal your heart So nice

mc/baxter (our life: beginnings and always) - fourth of july (fall out boy)

You are my favorite what if You are my best I'll never know And I'm starting to forget Just what summer ever meant to you What did it ever mean to you?

*playlists have a lot of overlap, and are based entirely on my own taste in music & also vibes, though there are some really good lyrical picks too. expect a ton of carly rae jepsen, fall out boy, misterwives, and cheesin' by cautious clay (its on like... all my playlists. i just vibe with it. it barely fits any of the playlists but i dont Care) ALSO, *most* of them are just.. in the order I added the songs. the only ones that I have re-ordered with a purpose are the Derek & Baxter playlists, because theirs are more narrative.

[hopecel]

Other girls are coy and hard to catch but other girls ain't havin' any fun 💘 👉👈

[josie-and-the-pussycats-2001]

5 for 🎶 ask!

literally so many songs i could answer this with but i’m gonna go with this absolute banger https://open.spotify.com/track/79oH2M0vWq9bRYpNTCrlHu?si=XOrtqwZnQ5K6BUCxQMfJnA

[queer-ragnelle]

GUINEVERE! 🫶🏼

(for the Vulgate passages)

Lancelot Part II: 70. Gawain and Hector Find Lancelot; The Battle of Saxon Rock

Send me a character and I'll reply with a Vulgate passage!

[wolfbabedeluxe]

@badsalmonella

[badsalmonella]

Unhinged Guinevere Lancelot propaganda:

- First of all I stan a dysfunctional ship so don't come at me with a write up about how they are not getting a good grade in couples counseling. That's the🤌🏼 SAUCE🤌🏼 for me

- They spends the middle section of the show exchanging catatonic levels of eye contact across a stage the size of a mega mall parking lot and honestly? It's nastier than whatever you can find me on pornhub. FACTS.

- The radioactive levels of VIBES he is giving off when he says "No one can refuse your wish~"

- but the SECOND they actually hook up my guy Lancelot is ON THE FLOOR. In his SLUTTY BLOUSE cross necklace CLUTCHED and Genny is like "....heyyyy..... you're a nice guy 🫤 but uhhhh......"

- If they existed in a modern context Lancelot would be like "post sex waffles???? Shaped like hearts??? M'lady???🥺" And Guinevere would be pulling on the pants, already half way out the door like "no." And Lancelot would idk do some true freak shit like put his hand on the pan to punish himself for low rizz levels

- "Your Majesty~" "jjjjaCk ass". I wish I was joking when I say I lost all class when I saw this live and let out a small yell in my seat AT THE LINCOLN CENTER.

- I do have a bootleg though where he immediately smirks after and I'm taking notes sweetheart. That's going in the diagnosis write up babe. <3

- We gotta unpack the exchange between Arthur and Genny where he calls her out like "uhhh??? I know you don't like the dude but your hate is obsessive 🤨"

- The fact that even Arthur knows what's up. Oh my GOD.

- WHERE IS THE C L A S S GUINEVERE?!??

- The fact that Lancelot apparently just hangs out, outside rooms where Guinevere goes??? But also the second Arthur is like "she's actually coming here right now" he's getting the FUCK out of there.

- Guinevere twirling her hair around her finger like "ohhhh the knights will kill Lancelot? 😍 Murder him dead you say? And then what? 😏 Teehee"

- " yOU'LL OPEN WIDE HIM? 😩💦" I'm also putting that in the notes too girlie.

- Guinevere is like if someone doesn't make me come in the next 5 seconds I'm gonna start killing hostages and Lancelot is like "hey what if no nut November was every month? :)" but that doesn't stop them #lovewins

- I'm constantly torn between I think if Genny called him the specialest lil guy who's going to heaven he'd insta-nut, but also I think you'd get similar results if she called him the saddest wet napkin of a man. Thoughts? Vote below! Kidding

- I KNOW that potato show they attended had RADIOACTIVE vibes. Families were probably there just to see the qualities of a prize winning potato and they were out here idk rubbing pinkies and going on about how King Arthur doesn't give them enough attention :(((

- THE FACT THAT Guinevere is like "why won't someone become ridiculously obsessed with me? :/" and then Lancelot does and she's like "oh GOD not like that" and then he's like "oh ok then I'll leave" and she's like "NOT LIKE THAT EITHER". <3 I love her and she's never done anything wrong ever<3

- I think if we gave them facebook in the middle point of the events of the show, they would be THE MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE on your feed.

- Courtly love is really just medieval edging if you think about it.

- I like how the moment that broke these two, where they decided they couldn't hold back any longer is them speaking mediocre French. He said "terriblement" like THAT and she was like "uGH. I can't NOT fuck him"

- The fact that WAY too many people are aware of their thirst. They just do this shit. In PUBLIC. IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN.

- And I haven't even brought up the King Arthur of it all.... The fact that the guy who likes BIRDS gets around more than these two. INSANE.

- who calls the other Arthur in bed by accident? CALL THE NUMBER BELOW TO CAST YOUR VOTE