#badassitude

[lumi-klovstad-games]

I have a powerful need for Malum Caedo to be referenced, and referenced a LOT, in future Warhammer 40K material.

I need this man to be spoken of in hushed tones by other Space Marines. I want the Black Legion to hiss at the utterance of his name. I want Guilliman and Marneus fucking Calgar to fucking honor this guy in a public square on Macragge.

Malum Caedo is a Space Marine who has basically pulled off, single handedly, the kind of battlefield prowess it was once thought only Primarchs or the Emperor His-Goddamn-Self could have accomplished.

Give that Marine a 50 foot tall solid gold statue. Devote a whole ass library to his legendary badassitude.

Make Caedo unforgettable, a legendary hero of the Imperium, a memory to inspire every Marine, from every chapter, who comes after him.

And when he dies, he better die in single combat with a Chaos God or something -- pretty sure nobody else could take him down.

[twofoursixohjuan]

look I know I made a post detailing the badassitude of the Danish covers for the Hurog duology already but I need everybody to stop and reflect on the French covers as well

like what the fuck. these are brilliant why are the English covers just Some Guy Standing There

[tindome-art]

Isodora Belladonna af Wrede, former Master of the Tempel-fort Sanctum, in the larp campaign world of Sanctera.

Until, well, the Dragon appeared, rifts to the Netherworld/literal hell opened, demons flooded out and made the world their second playground. The Fair Folk said "bollocks to this", withdrew into Sideways and closed all doors behind them, eight out of nine gods were killed except of course The Betrayer. The Templars and the licensed magicians were killed and scattered, and Tempel-fort Sanctum was dragged down into hell.

I played Isodora before all of that, before she became Master of Sanctum, and this small larp was set ten years after everything went to, literally, hell. So she's more worn, more pissed off and at the start, more homeless than a decade ago. But she held fast to the "holy blue" of the garments, as they became dirtier and more worn, and during this tiny larp, she got back a lot: Her brother, her hope, and a long-term goal.

Lux: "Oh, yeah, Sanctum's still down there, I didn't die when it was dragged down, I've just been in the blood games arena." Isodora: "My fort!!! ...hey, everyone, we're going to hell. First we'll free Lux, then we'll drag Sanctum back up. What do you mean, 'how'? Figure it out!"

Let the fight against the demons, not just in the back foot, but pushing forward, begin!

Also yes she was heavily influenced by Olivier Mira Armstrong because Olivier is boss. And Isodora is a 100% badass, evidenced not only by her way of making people follow here by sheer willpower, badassitude and charisma, but also by her punching demons in the face when they try to make her do their bidding. (I am strongly biased.)

[rosesandalfazemas]

More about my Pirate AU with @greengreekeyes25.

This is a colored doodled concept I've got for my own reference in roleplaying. Since some of you asked me why my Arthur has stripes as tats, here is the explanation. This is basically the type of body he would have. I've read so many historical things for this RPG that I couldn't do as generally the fandom did. He has his clothes and so his attitude and badassitude )? but his body is something like this.

Imagine if he is like this, how his brothers are~

Hope you like it anyway~

I even wrote an "academic" essay about these characters, how when and why they died, in a form of a historical research. This Au went out of control, my gosh.

[cyberpawn]

VOICE HC / MEME

bold what applies to your muse, italicize situational ones. feel free to add your own suggestions and carry it on.

► ACCENT  

“country” │ “backwoods” │ “sailor” │ “upper class” │ “city slicker” | foreign speaker │ refined  

► ELOQUENCE

educated │self-taught | uneducated | doesn’t use conjunctions │ shortens words | omits entire words on occasion | mixes up words �� just makes up their own words! │ archaic english │ dependent on mood or setting | doesn’t use contractions

► TONE

loud │ soft │ room volume │ high pitched │ low pitched │seductive │velvety │ speech impediment │ abrasive │ gruff │ shrill │ booming │ matter-of-fact │ toneless │ husky │gravelly │ breathy │ nasal │ barking │ chatty │ condescending │ musical │ suave │ world-weary │ brash │ authoritative

► HABITS

refers to self in third person│ incorporates different languages/terms/sayings │ uses gender-specific terms │ adapts to audience │ changes pitch around animals or children │ shifts tone when lying │ gives others nicknames │ uses terms of respect towards others

► OTHER BITS

It takes a lot of effort for Vale to be quiet, so they're shouting a lot without even knowing it. They speak!!! Like everything!! Is really important!!!! And!!! THIS!!!!

Vale loves making shit up!! They'll make up words to use, like "badassitude", "buttfuckingest", "gobbledygook", etc!

Vale shortens most o' their words 'f they can! S'kinda also a lot of slurrin' words together cuz' they talk fast so at times it can turn into somethin' likethiswhich'sreallyhardt'follow.

Vale can speak multiple languages, so sometimes they'll incorporate multicultural amounts of swears into a situation if Vale deems it necessary.

They project a lot, so they're talking with their chest voice (or at least trying to!)

Growing up in Night City (LA in their Modern Verse), it's almost expected that Vale would pick up the local accent, but!! That's a fun reminder that Vale scripted most of their dialect after kaiju movies, cartoons, and fast-paced rock'n'roll music! Vale talks fast because pretty much everything they took in as a kid WAS FAST!!!

You're honestly very unlikely to hear Vale call someone Sir or Ma'am/Madam.

► VOICE CLAIM REFERENCE:

If you've got tenure here at cyberpawn.tumblr.com, something you may know is that I pretty much just grab a lot of random voice clips that sound like Vale and point at it and go "THAT'S VALE", so there's not a solid voice claim for Vale. BUT!!! Max Mittelman's performance as Red XIII hits hard and it's so funny to hear the energy!! That's Vale!!!!!

tagged by: @prvtocol tagging: BE GAY DO CRIME SPEAK STEAL THIS

[castielheartless]

La badassitude de la Shinra

[neitherabaron]

Hey, quick reminder that Sam’s away, so we’re taking a little break from Metroid and Twitch tonight.

BUT! There’s still something new to watch this week!

We’ve prerecorded a bonus episode of us playing SpiderHeck. It’s a chaotic, physics-based, co-op brawler with spiders, lightsabers and enough neon to make Tron sick with envy.

(Also, this was genuinely one of my favourite sessions we’ve ever done and it was so cool to go from flailing wildly to something like badassitude over the two hours we played.)

You should watch it! It’s gonna go out on our YouTube tonight.

Here’s the link (vid will be available from 7pm BST on 26.06.23):

[aliakim-the-okay]

New crack fic idea:

(Barney from HIMYM and Dennis from Always Sunny meet each other for the first time in Paddy’s Pub (where Barney shows up after being separated from Ted during their eventful trip to Philly.))

There, he witnesses Dennis Reynolds hitting on a generic blonde hottie and just has to intervene. Dennis’s moves are wayyyy too underdeveloped and frankly archaic. He needs something more legend- (wait for it) -dary to be able to pick up the gorgeous and elusive species known as “women.”

Dennis gawks in offense as he watches Barney woo the blondie with his suave expertise.

As Barney walks the total baddie away, he throws a cheeky wink in Dennis’s direction as the newfound couple make their way towards the door.

Filled with rage, Dennis approaches dangerously and shoves Barney hard. Barney turns around in shock, disgusted that his designer suit had been touched by one of those filthy Phillidelphians.

Dennis makes a loud ruckus in the bar. He shouts far too loud about how that girl was his for the night and that he almost had her. All the while Dee continued cleaning a glass over and over again in the corner, pretending not to hear as Dennis continued his adult tantrum.

Barney shooed the broad away as he straightened out his suit. He slung an arm over Dennis’s shoulder as waved his hand towards the sky. He said that if Dennis really needed help picking up hot chicks that badly, Barney was there to teach Dennis how to live.

Dennis slapped Barney’s hands away from him in disgust. Dennis claimed he knew very well how to live and that he could pick up any girl he wanted. He didn’t need some rando asshole in a fancy suit to teach him anything.

Barney smiled…

This called for a competition.

A competition to see who was the suavest, hottest, and downright godliest of bachelors in this particular corner of Philly.

The objective? The first to go home (or at least out the front door) with a Philadelphian woman would be crowned the winner.

The trophy? Forever bragging rights along with the metaphorical crown of badassitude.

Oh man, are the others gonna love this… They thought at the same time.

As the clock struck 8:30pm, the poor excuse for a rush hour hit the bar. Ones (singular) of people all came in, all entering the bar in a matter of several minutes. All while Barney and Dennis stared each other down with a fire of competition in their eyes.

Suddenly, at the same time, the two nodded before scrambling away to opposite sides of the bar.

Dennis ran to the nearest woman he could find, grabbed her by the shoulders, and spun her around to look at her face. He winced and made a sound before moving on.

Barney slid against the weirdly wet floor and into the view of another woman on the other side of the room. He faltered at her below average looks before taking note of her huge badonkers and promptly smiling.

Barney asked how she was doing, where she grew up, what her relationship with her dad is like, and other non-intrusive questions.

Meanwhile Dennis slicked his over-greased hair back. He acted cool in front of a woman who looked just hot enough for him. She happily rattled on about her day as Dennis grew impatient. He rolled his eyes and checked his watch as he took glances at Barney’s progress. He couldn’t lose this.

As Barney could practically feel the sexual attraction radiating off the woman in front of him, he couldn’t help but notice his competition across the bar.

Dennis’s target woman was ranting all too loudly about her secret. She entered with a fake ID (that no one checked anyways) and was actually 16. Dennis’s hand slowly reached for her shoulder as he admitted that it was close enough for him and they should go back to his place for some… “video games.”

Barney’s head snapped towards Dennis in shock. He silently told Ms. Huge Badonkers to wait a minute as he quickly approached Dennis and wound up. Dennis turned with a shitty grin just in time to be decked directly in the face.

Dennis slid across the dirty floor as he held his bloody nose. He whined and grunted on the floor like a little baby. Suddenly, Dee “accidentally” spilled a drink on his face with a triumphant smile before walking away.

Barney shook his hand before grabbing a napkin to wipe his bloody knuckles. He readjusted his suit and approached the teenager. He shook his head disapprovingly and pointed a thumb towards the door. She hung her head sadly and left the bar.

Barney gave one last look at the pitiful man on the floor. He scoffed to himself before putting his arm around the huge-boobed lady’s waist and exited the bar.

Mac and Charlie rushed to Dennis’s side and helped him up. Mac yelled at Barney that he’ll pay for what he did to his bro, but Barney simply said that if Dennis was their bro, Mac and Charlie needed a better one.

After Barney was done making insane love to this big-boobied beast, he’d have to tell Ted all about tonight and it was absolutely legend- (wait for it…)

-dary!

[bootsofhellband]

The Demo is out! 15 minutes of sheer badassitude.

[le-panda-chocovore]

Okay j'ai un peu plus de compréhension pour le perso de Mai, un peu plus d'empathie. Je comprends sa rage et comment elle en est arrivée là. Pour autant, je crois que je ne l'apprécie toujours pas. J'aime vraiment pas la manière dont elle est représentée et son attitude envers les exorcistes de Tokyo. Mais, je la comprends, et son développemement est plutôt pas mal.

MAKI PAR CONTRE KFNIQSJDIOZDJAZIOJD Putain mais épouse moi t'es parfaite !!! Chaque jour elle gagne en badassitude, mais sérieux c'est pas possible d'être aussi COOL ! Je l'aime fort.

[goodlawman]

➰💭

Harvey Specter from Suits - he was surrounded by superheroes and the supernatural and didn't miss a single beat maintaining his badassitude.

Tally Craven from Motherland: Fort Salem - I love the show's different take on magic and alternate history. Tally has my heart though. Empathy is her strength and she grows as both witch and warrior, always trying to do and fighting for what's right. Also she can be awkward af in social situations sometimes and same, Tally, same.

[mrtcrgue]

WELCOME, BADASSES

#MRTCRGUE: indie, private, selective portrayal of MR. TORGUE of BORDERLANDS

abhorred by brit (she/they, 34) follows from svndrenched

18+ only

very much a WIP

carrd | promo | interest tracker

[onwardmotley]

i expected ff7 to be overrated and it kind of makes me mad how good it is, it uses the ambiguity of ps1 lego-man 3d models incredibly well, when you're playing through the beginning the game just lets you assume the group dynamics are because cloud is Badass Mercenary Man, and barrett is pissed at him for being egotistical and ex-shinra and tifa is smoothing things over because she's the nice childhood friend, and cloud is doing this as a favor to her, but then you get to the later reveals and you realize no, this dude spent years in a tank of mako in a lab and then an extended coma, he's wearing a uniform off a dead man that he crawled through a battlefield and passed out in the street in, he looks like a strung-out trash fire and he blanked out in the middle of the mission, barrett has EVERY reason not to trust him, and tifa's trying to keep him close not so much because 'oh you're so cool i like you so much please stay with us we need your Badassitude', as because he's clearly extremely not okay and completely unaware that he's not okay, since he's convinced he's a strong independent mercenary the only way she can keep an eye on him is to play to that, and in the end if it wasn't for tifa he probably would have ended up as just another black cloak, muttering incoherently about reunion and shambling toward the north pole, and if he didn't get roped into a jrpg party i can't imagine there would have been anything left to pull out of the lifestream. (via downtroddendeity)

still thinking about how FF7 opens with cloud doing a mission with avalanche like a badass and then like 20 hours of game later you get tifa’s pov to see how he actually reunited with her and started working with them and it turns out he was on the street. cloud was homeless. he was a dude lying in the rain next to the train station clutching a sword and mumbling nonsense over and over when tifa found him. 

the contrast in that is so striking. we’re introduced to cloud as this cool snarky warrior and seeing how broken he was when tifa found him a mere week? month? before the start of the game really drives home how that was all a mask he put on to hide his real self from the world. 

[wraithscrypt]

Time to clarify some personal values and use this data as a way to determine where I am not living in accordance to them. Self-exploration possibly turning into a reality check (also it'd be nice to understand myself better). Values Clarifaction: badassitude, accountability, adaptability, balance, brilliance, clever, comfort, contribution, curiousity, determination, exploration, expression, fairness, foresight, fortitude, freedom, gratitude, tenacity, humor, hygge, imagination, individuality, insight, intuition, knowledge, patience, queerness, reflection, self-compassion, self-reliance, sensitivity, sexuality, sincerity, solitude, storytelling, thoughtful, transparency, vision, and wonder.

[n-phenix]

Le Girls Power dans les animé

Allant de Naruto à dragon ball z en passant par Fullmetal, nous avons déjà tous eu a remarqué ces personnages féminins qui envoie du lourd dans nos animé. Dans cette article nous allons vous présenter 7 personnes féminin les plus badass

7- Misato Katsuragi (Evangelion)

Misato a un poste très important à la NERV (Capitaine puis Major), travaillant avec les pilotes d’EVA mais également avec les plus hauts placés. Cet élément suffit déjà à montrer le level de la meuf, mais en plus, elle hésite pas à envoyer chier comme il faut ceux qui la gonflent, et elle sait également prendre le taureau par les cornes. Au passage, Evangelion arrive à la fin du mois sur Netflix, l’occasion de découvrir ou redécouvrir cette oeuvre majeure (pour ma part, je vais le faire découvrir à ma femme, et je pense vous faire plusieurs articles sur le sujet !).

6- C18 (Dragon Ball)

Je ne pense pas qu’il soit nécessaire de présenter C18, la seule cyborg du Dr Gero qui a survécu, et qui a épousé Krilin par la suite. Tout d’abord, elle est extrêmement stylée (comme quasiment tous les personnages de Dragon Ball par ailleurs), mais surtout, elle a droit à plusieurs moments de badasserie folle, celui que je gardant sans doute le plus en mémoire étant le moment où elle dégomme Vegeta alors que celui-ci se pense invincible. Un dur retour à la réalité auquel le personnage est habitué…

5- Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)

Précision importante : je parle du Major Kusanagi tel qu’elle est dans le film Ghost in the Shell de Mamoru Oshii (chef d’oeuvre absolu à voir à tout prix !) car je ne connais pas le manga ou les animes (je ne sais d’ailleurs pas si elle apparaît dedans). C’est un des rares personnages principaux que je cite dans ce classement. Elle n’a rien besoin de faire pour impressionner tant son design est impeccable. Mais elle a malgré tout droit à un certain nombre de moments forts, notamment en fin de film où elle affronte un énorme tank.

4- Gally (Gunnm)

Gally est aussi un androïde féminin mais est quand même très différente de Kusanagi ou C18, et à mes yeux, c’est la plus badass des trois. Elle est surpuissante, surtout avec son corps de Berserker, et j’adore comment elle pulvérise des adversaires 5 fois plus gros qu’elle ! Au-delà de ça, c’est un personnage passionnant que j’ai adoré suivre dans ce manga magnifique que j’ai lu il y a de ça une dizaine d’années (une petite relecture s’impose…).

3- Tsunade (Naruto)

Tsunade est surement le personnage le plus badass de Naruto devant Kakashi à mes yeux. La meuf devient Hokage parce qu’elle déchire grave, elle est d’une puissance démesurée, elle a un charisme de fou. Mais surtout, c’est à elle qu’on doit une patate de forain d’anthologie lorsqu’elle affronte Orochimaru et que ce dernier essaie de la chopper avec sa langue toute dégueulasse. Et ça, c’est clairement le podium direct pour moi.

2- Kaori Makimura (City Hunter)

Kaori représente à la perfection ce que j’aime dans les personnages féminins de Tsukasa Hojo : forte, sexy, classe, résolument badass ! Elle calme toujours les ardeurs de ce gros lourd de Ryo, et elle est clairement pour moi l’atout principal de City Hunter. Alors que Ryo a très souvent tendance à m’énerver par sa lourdeur démesurée, Kaori est toujours stylée, toujours intelligente, et toujours totalement badass.

1- Tous les personnages féminins de FullMetal Alchemist

– Riza Hawkeye : la meuf qui ne rate jamais sa cible, qui sais tempérer Roy Mustang et qui a surtout une classe et une badassitude de chaque instant. Elle va tout le temps au charbon et prend toujours les bonnes décisions. La très très grande classe.

– Izumi Curtis : jamais femme au foyer n’aura été aussi cool. Son histoire tragique ne l’empêche pas d’envoyer la purée. Un des meilleurs personnages de FMA pour moi, et très clairement un des plus badass.

– Olivia Mira Arsmtrong : cette meuf, tu la fais chier, elle cherche pas à comprendre, elle te plante sa lame. Elle est en charge de la forteresse de Briggs, qu’elle gère d’une main de fer alors qu’elle est dans des conditions climatiques extrêmes. Totalement respectée par ses hommes du fait de sa poigne et de son charisme hallucinant, elle est clairement LE personnage le plus badass de FullMetal Alchemist.

[askmrtorgue]

Hey, do you have any tips to deal with depression? recently I've just been feeling awful, and I just want to give up

HEADS UP, SKAGDUMP, AND GRAB SOME WATER, BECAUSE YOUR MIND IS GOING TO DO DO ONE HELL OF A F*CKING WORKOUT. CALISTHENICS!!!!

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, STRAIGHT UP REAL DOG STYLE: SOMETIMES YOUR BUDDY TORGUE GETS DOWN IN THE DUMPS. MOST DAYS I FEEL LIKE BRAOWWWCHICKITABAOWWW-WOWWWWWW, BUT OTHER DAYS I FEEL LIKE MIDDLY-MIDDLY-MROW. IT IS A LEGITIMATE ISSUE!!!

BUT THE REAL TOUGH SH*T IS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL REAL F*CKING SAD SOMETIMES. THAT'S JUST GOING TO BE THE DEAL. YOU CAN'T STOP FEELING SAD ANYMORE THAN YOU CAN STOP THE WEATHER, AVOID TAXES, OR KEEP YOUR NITROGLYCERIN-BASED TOASTER FROM BLOWING UP EVERY TIME YOU JUST WANT A FEW F*CKING G*DDAMN EGGS.

TORGUE TRUTH NUKE #1: DEPRESSION IS SOMETIMES ABOUT GETTING THROUGH IT INSTEAD OF KICKING ITS ASS

WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!!?!?!??!?!?

IT'S TRUE. WHEN YOUR LEG IS BROKEN, YOU DON'T DO JUMPING JACKS TO MAKE IT LESS BROKEN. WHEN YOUR TOAST GETS F*CKED UP, YOU DON'T KEEP JAMMING IT IN THE TOASTER. AND WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED, YOU JUST NEED TO FIND WAYS TO KEEP GOING UNTIL YOU'RE THROUGH IT.

DON'T FOCUS ON TRYING TO "FIX" YOUR DEPRESSION. FOCUS ON FINDING THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU COMFORT.

TALK WITH FRIENDS

DO THE THINGS THAT BRING YOU COMFORT

PUNCH A BEAR

YELL AT CLOUDS

BE EVERY SINGER IN THE BAND WHILE ALSO PLAYING AIR GUITAR

SQUAT THRUSTS

BUY A NEW TOASTER

THE POINT IS, KEEP DOING THINGS. YOUR BRAIN IS GOING TO WANT TO GRAB YOU AND PULL YOU BACK INTO THE DARK WITH IT. YOU FIGHT IT WITH ALL YOUR GLORIOUS RIPPLING PECS!!!! IF YOU'RE WRITING TO ME FROM ONE OF THOSE PLANETS THAT STILL HAS A SUN AND BREATHABLE AIR, MAKE A POINT TO SIT OUT IN THE SUNLIGHT FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES A DAY. YOU CAN USE THIS TIMER TO HELP YOU MAKE IT THROUGH.

LET UNCLE TORGUE BE CRYSTAL F*CKING CLEAR: I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO "NOT BE DEPRESSED". F*CK THAT NOISE. YOU CANNOT HELP BEING DEPRESSED. THAT SH*T IS GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT I AM TELLING YOU IS THAT DEPRESSION IS ABOUT KEEPING YOUR HEAD ABOVE WATER UNTIL YOU FIND LAND. SO MAKE IT A POINT TO DO SMALL SELF-CARE SH*T. YOU DON'T NEED TO GO OUT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FORCE SOME FAKE-ASS SMILE. BUT WATCH YOUR ASS AND DON'T SHUT OFF THE THINGS THAT CAN HELP YOU FEEL BETTER.

TORGUE TRUTH NUKE #2: YOUR BRAIN IS A LYING ASSH*LE

F*CK YOU, ANONYMOUS'S BRAIN, AND STOP BEING A D*CK TO MY BEST FRIEND BEFORE I'VE EVEN MET THEM. I WILL F*CK YOUR SHIT UP.

LISTEN, ANONYMOUS PERSON. AND I WANT YOU TO LISTEN WITH EVERY MUSCLE IN YOUR BODY: WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED, YOUR BRAIN IS GOING TO SAY REAL MEAN-ASS SH*T LIKE "YOU'RE WORTHLESS" AND "NOBODY LIKES EXPLOSIONS" AND "MAYBE LASERS ARE COOL". YOU CAN'T STOP EVERY THOUGHT, BUT YOU KEEP IN MIND THAT YOUR BRAIN IS BLOWING SH*T WAY THE HELL OUT OF PROPORTION AND THAT THERE WILL COME A DAY WHEN YOU REALIZE IT'S FULL OF SH*T AND THAT LASERS SUCK RAKK ASS.

DON'T YOU EVER BELIEVE LIES LIKE "YOU'D BE BETTER OFF GONE" OR "YOU AREN'T GOING TO GET BETTER". WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IS SOMEONE THAT HAS GOT THROUGH EVERY SINGLE CHALLENGE PREVIOUSLY, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. AND YOU'RE STILL F*CKING STANDING.

DON'T EVER FORGET BRUCE WILLIS FROM THAT ONE MOVIE, WHEN HE WAS BEAT TO SH*T AND HAD GLASS IN HIS FEET AND HAD BEEN BEATEN THE F*CK UP, AND HE STILL GOT UP AND SAVED THE ENTIRE G*DDAMN DAY. F*CK, RUGRATS GO WILD WAS SUCH A G*DDAMN GOOD FILM!!

THE POINT IS, SH*T THAT DOESN'T KILL YOU, ONLY MAKES YOU MORE BADASS.

SO NOW IT'S TIME FOR

TORGUE TRUTH NUKE #3: YOUR FRIENDS WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SH*T

YOU DID REAL GOOD TALKING TO YOUR BEST FRIEND MR. TORGUE. KEEP DOING SH*T LIKE THAT. TELL YOUR FRIENDS WHAT'S GOING ON. TELL THEM WHEN YOU WANT COMPANY. LIKE I SAID, YOUR BRAIN IS A LYING F*CK, AND IT'S GOING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE A BURDEN TO YOUR FRIENDS.

F*CK.

THAT.

NOISE.

YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. THIS SH*T'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE F*CKING FOR. I PROMISE YOU, HAND TO PECS, THEY WOULD RATHER BE THERE FOR YOU ON THIS THAN NOT BE ABLE TO HELP A FRIEND IN NEED. LOOK AT IT THIS WAY: YOU'RE SO F*CKING AWESOME THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS, RIGHT? SO MAKE SURE YOUR FRIENDS GET THE CHANCE TO DO THE SAME!!!

I TYPED IN "FRIEND EXPLOSION" INTO THE GIF SEARCH AND GOT THIS WATEMELON. IT'S RELEVANT NOW!

THAT WATERMELON WAS A D*CK ANYWAY

AND LET ME END THIS BY SAYING THIS LAST

TORGUE TRUTH NUKE #4: I AM PROUD OF YOU

REAL TALK. YOU REACHED OUT. YOU PUSHED BACK AGAINST DEPRESSION. YOU TOLD IT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO PUT UP WITH ITS SH*T.

DEPRESSION IS A LONG F*CKING FIGHT AND YOU WON THIS ROUND. F**********************CK YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!

GIVE YOURSELF A HIGH G*DDAMN FIVE. YOU F*CKING EARNED IT.

AND PEOPLE ARE CHEERING YOU AS YOU SOLO THIS ASSH*LE. THEY WANT TO SEE YOU SUPLEX THAT SH*T.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, THE TOASTER THING WAS A VERY RECENT EXAMPLE, AND MY KITCHEN HAS BEEN ON FIRE THE ENTIRE TIME I'VE BEEN TYPING THIS. I GOTTA GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE

TORGUE. OUT.