#bad scratch memories
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hi!! list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers
Pokemon
The fact that Skizz is in Hermitcraft
The fact that StormLordZeus is back in Scratchcraft
I got to make some Cirak and this batch was really good! :D
I finally got my solo thingy for flute under my fingers
#I don't really wanna send stuff to people#bad scratch memories#again#but thanks! :D It means a lot. >^-^<#ask#actual post
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Genuinely I really do love all the post canon stuff concerning Garak and the castellanship and how that particular path of growth impacts his character and is colored by his past. However, to me in my heart, he went on to live a soft and quiet life with his devoted husband Julian Bashir in their cozy shed tending to his orchids and only tangentially involved with politics. And nothing bad ever happened to either one of them ever again.
#thats the real post canon. to me#they deserve a soft epilogue god damn it! theyve earned it! theyve suffered enough and have enough childhood and postwar trauma to work out#to last a lifetime. let them at least have a soft place to do it. as a chronic hurt conf enjoyer nothing scratches that inch in me more tha#working through bad memories while afforded the comfort of leaning on the person you love. nothing says devotion louder to me.#let them have that!!#elim garak#julian bashir#ds9#garashir#regnarposting
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Not me seeing agathario fandom start making fanfics in ao3 where Rio gets trapped in the Hex with Agatha and thinking innocently: "Wow, it would be very, very extremely psychologically painful and so fucking full of cuteness if Wanda's spellwork gave them, idk, like, maybe, DAUGHTERS, wouldn't be?!"
#i mean if wanda can have twins with vision why can't they?#would it bring back bad memories from the past? for sure#but I'm craving the “screwed-up lesbian moms breaking generational cycles by raising their daughters' trope”#just imagine little witches who are Agatha's spitting image and have Rio's personality#let's think about the angst later#it was a sitcom and I think it needed other kids to play with billy and tommy#agathario#rio x agatha#agatha x rio#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#rio agatha all along#wanda maximoff#billy maximoff#tommy maximoff#wandavision#agathario fanfic#I already have an idea of names for them#agathario fic#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic ideas#agathario kids#the cherry on top of all are the nicholas's flashbacks that agatha will have#nicholas scratch#marvel fanfiction
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ns has the burnt part of his wings plucked or cut off every time he falls. ends up with less and less wing.
you people come up with such evil ideas i think
#but you know what i like it. everytime his memory gets wiped they also clip his wings so he doesn’t really start Questioning stuff again#i.e. why his wings are burnt exactly#and then it grows back and the cycle repeats over and over#ouehghh ……. sep with such small wings …#i’ve been thinking about how Things might happen in this au ….. hmmmmh#scratches me head#AHHHHH I CUT MY FINGER ACCIDENTALLY FUCKKK#anwyays. okay well yeahi just think that for some time sep is stuck in this cycle#and i think wayback keeps trying to convince him heaven bad but then sep doesnt remember and wayback is like dude what the fuuuck is wrong#with you ^_^ you shoudl leave heaven and go live on earth with me . and sep is like ……………………….. maybe#i imagine they do exactly that for a while idk how many years but sep is like yayy earth ^_^ and then heaven is like heyyy sep when are you#going to come back to heaven. and uhm#…#walks away#cramswering#myart#oc: needless separation
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Plus the angst is delicious, and how can I say no to angst?<<
I got you Angst! Make the genesis wave happen nad the Fleetway dimension gets affected too, nothing changed but the freedom fighthers don't remember scourge and the only one Who remembers the past is him so Scourge has to Re-connected with them or Re-rizz Sonic.
Extra points if the New Fleetway timeline is better or worse (Maybe It could be the King Sonic dimension? 👀)
👀👀👀 ohoho interesting..... an incident that makes everyone forget him would fuck him up big time I think, because by this point Scourge is comfortable with everyone. He has friends, he has a boyfriend, for once in his life he's... happy. And to have it all taken from him in an instant.... oooo he would not take it well
Maybe at first he thinks it's a prank, because that's exactly the kind of prank Sonic would find funny, but as he interacts with everyone else, he isn't so sure; he doesn't believe Tails alone could put on such a good act for so long, so he starts to get suspicious, maybe panic a little, and that's when the change in behaviour really starts to hit home. Sure the rest of the freedom fighters might be more willing to give him a break, but Sonic has reverted right back to his "No Fucking Lookalikes" policy with no exceptions. Sonic absolutely would not trust this bad boy-wannabe skulking about in their base - meeting him out on the street is one thing, but the base is important, they can't afford to let just anyone wander in - and the distrust would cut Scourge deeper than expected. It was one thing to not be trusted by Sonic when he first arrived, because yeah, he was planning on stirring up trouble then so the suspicion was warranted, but he's over that now, and it's another thing entirely to be accused of being shady when he isn't even doing anything. Like, it's his home, and all of a sudden he's not welcome in his own home. It's going to hurt, and that means it's going to piss him off. It feels like rejection, like betrayal, and Scourge does not take rejection or betrayal well
What also strikes me is if he's in the fleetway zone, Scourge doesn't know about the genesis wave. He has absolutely no clue what has happened, no clue he was supposed to be wiped from existence. So he has no idea what the hell has gone wrong. His first instinct is to blame Robotnik, but Robotnik doesn't know who he is either, and no matter how hard he tries, Scourge can't prove he's lying about not knowing him
Ultimately I feel like his priority shifts to figuring out what happened and how he can reverse it. I imagine the freedom fighters have been moved enough by his insistence that they do know each other, maybe they've even bullied Sonic into giving him a chance, and they've agreed to help him figure out what the hell has happened. But even if they do, he still feels alone. He knows them, but they don't know him. They don't know about his favourite things, Sonic doesn't remember their favourite dates, he's checked Kintobor's records and searched for group photos that include him and everything is gone. Scourge the Hedgehog's entire existence has been wiped clean off the face of the planet, except for Scourge himself. Could you imagine what that would do to even a normal person, let alone someone like Scourge? One million issues he's been ignoring not even noticed yet would flare up, and he's desperately searching for a way to fix it. He wants his home back, and if he couldn't restore everyone's memories... well, it would take him time to heal enough to even begin trying to rebuilding his friendship with the freedom fighters and get Sonic to fall in love with him again. Especially when he still doesn't know how he did it the first time. He wants to run away about it, but how can he run away when he doesn't have anywhere else to go?
Getting Sonic to believe his story that he's been here for years and they've all just forgotten would be the biggest challenge, I think. The rest of the freedom fighters are more inclined to believe the story, but not him. In my head, he only changes his mind when, in the middle of a fight with Scourge - kicked off because Scourge, out of frustration at trying to prove he's telling the truth, brings up Johnny, and Sonic is immediately like "how fucking dare you use my dead friend against me to manipulate me" - Scourge blurts out something no one - not even his friends - knows about. Something Sonic has kept entirely to himself, that he only ever felt comfortable telling Scourge after they grew close
In the heat of the moment, of course, he rejects this train of thought and just argues with Scourge harder, because he's stubborn and hates admitting to being wrong. But after they've both stormed off - and maybe Sonic catches a glimpse of Scourge holding back frustrated tears - and he has a moment to himself, he sits and thinks about what Scourge said and slowly realises maybe, just maybe, Scourge is telling the truth after all
#sonic the hedgehog#scourge the hedgehog#fleetway sonic#stc sonic#fleet!sonourge#asks#headcanon#no idk what the thing scourge blurts out is#we can call that 'leaving it up to interpretation' as a way to slap a plaster over my lack of ideas x#only thing that comes to mind is maybe scourge mentions sonic's crush on johnny. since that's what started the fight and all#but i'm not sure yet if sonic would ever tell scourge about his feelings for johnny or if scourge would ever figure it out on his own#so. up to interpretation it is x#the freedom fighters are way more willing to give poor scourge a chance it's literally just sonic causing all the issues#especially if they see scourge realise he can't undo their memory loss. they see his devastated reaction#and none of them - not even sonic - can deny that that's a very very real reaction#if there were any doubts about his story all of them immediately vanish when they see his response to that news#if they've been working to help scourge figure out what's going on i imagine they've already grown a little attached to him#so while scourge is overwhelmed because he thinks he has to start entirely from scratch with them and he doesn't know how to do it#he's completely oblivious to the fact they already like him. maybe even already consider him their friend#sonic is gonna feel bad about doubting him too. guy was already hurting and he treats him like shit. not cool#the ensuing apology is extremely stilted and awkward#possibly made worse by the fact scourge is in no headspace to receive it#they'll work it out though#sonic will make it right. one way or another. it's his job#and besides. the strange fluttering of his heart and butterflies in his chest insist he shouldn't let scourge go#for reasons he can't quite understand (yet)
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God, "I missed you" sex is the best
#eep.txt#as soon as we were alone he kissed me hard and just couldn't get close enough#we went to his room and he immediately attacked my neck i don't think i've ever had so many hickeys at once#he kept grinding for so long against me on his lap 😵💫 i was very desperate for more but he just wanted so feel my skin against his#he was sososo cute with his messy hair and the way he kept saying i love you!#i could see myself in the mirror in front of his bed i didn't think i was this fucked out lmao#maybe the first time i moaned this loud and talked this much too#usually i have to keep quiet even though it's hard cuz there's other people but it was so nice having him aaalll to myself#when he finally put his fingers in it felt like heaven i'd been so long#and same he just kept going so deep and so fast my god he said he liked hearing me again#i had to stop him cause i was getting really overstimulated but it was so good#i'm pretty sure it's the first time i've actually like moaned his name without meaning to do it#apparently i didn't realise i was babbling and scratching his back so hard#god i love being a power bottom and calling him cute or my sweet boy and getting him desperate but...#when he goes feral like that after not seeing me for a while? it's the best. i'm so lucky to have such a service top#so happy to be with him again#after we cuddled and we showered and we cooked and then watched videos and then talked and laughed#i'm so happy right now to even see him sleeping next to me :]#sorry i meant to do a sexy post but i guess this is more positive venting i'll make a proper one later#still new to this writing thing i'm probably very bad at it but it's nice to have a place to write down my memories and experiences
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some of them have multiple names so i tried to include them all just in case lol
plz reblog so more people can vote! ^^ /nf
#if i forgot anypony just put them in the tags my bad i'm doing this from memory-#mlp fim#my little pony#background ponies#poll#derpy hooves#lyra heartstrings#bon bon#dj pon3#vinyl scratch#oh god that's a lot of names i have to tag. i'm not gonna tag all of them lmao-#minuette#twinkleshine#lemon hearts#octavia melody#dr whooves#dr hooves
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this is rlly long but heres an oc thing i quickly wrote
Casimir was opposed to going back to Rinea the moment it was suggested. In fact, he had fought and protested for three weeks, begging Cyril to consider the possibility that they didn't really need to be there. He lost the argument of course, because he always lost against Cy. And without a real reason for him to oppose the other, his argument fell flat. He had tried to argue that it was too cold, that there would be nothing there worth investigating, that their lead may be false, that it was too far. He tried everything, but nothing seemed to get Cy to even reconsider. He was adamant that there would be some big clue there, all because of some anonymous tip. Casimir knew that his partner could be stubborn and hotheaded, but he thought that he would at least hear him out. He was a little hurt that he didn't.
He knew the moment he stepped foot onto that soil it would be over for him. His freedom would be taken once more, he would be imprisoned and Cyril would leave him without so much as a goodbye. Or, his own fear and paranoia would get to him, and he would turn himself in. To some degree he understood that what happened all those years ago wasn't his fault, that there was nothing more he could have done. But that didn't stop him from blaming himself.
He lost the argument with Cyril, and they departed for Rinea the next day.
Currently Casimir sat sitting at a table in the little inn, tapping his foot rapidly. Cyril, unaware of the others' quiet panic, was loudly talking with the bartender. He had ordered a drink an hour ago, and not another once since. The bartender looked more than a little annoyed at this point. Casimir kept his head low, even with his ears covered and with his contacts he felt vulnerable, like he could be jumped at any moment. Being back in his hometown after so long left him feeling vulnerable, he knew how deeply these people came to despise him, how deeply his brother despised him. He also had this sinking feeling, he suspected he knew who Cyril’s lead was-
“So! Now that you’ve heard all about my incredible life, would you mind if I ask you a question?” Casimir turned his attention to the bar, where Cyril’s demeanor rapidly changed- going from amused to serious in a matter of seconds. The bartender stood up a little straighter, and passed him another cup.
“That depends on what you’re asking.”
Cyril took the cup, taking a sip. “I'm a holy man, as you can see,” he gestured to the symbol around his neck, “and I’ve heard a rumor that this town hosts a man of great religious power. I would like to meet this man, and after hearing my story I assume you can guess why I would seek religion out. I wish to learn more, and I’ve heard this man could help me on my journey.”
The bartender nodded his head, and showed Cyril his own necklace- one that had been concealed behind the man's shirt before. “I understand you brother, and I do know of this man. Everyone does really- he owns the largest estate in this town, and is quite generous with his wealth.” The other man shook his head a little, “Tragic story really.”
Cyril lowered his cup, staring at the man intently. “Tragic?”
“Hm, well I suppose anyone would tell you the same- there was an…incident a few years back. Messed up the whole town for a while, really. See, this man's father was a man of extreme wealth and power- his networks helped the town in many ways- thus, the whole town appreciated him and his family. We’ve never had an official leader in this town, seeing how small it is, but he was as close to one as we’ve ever gotten.” He paused, and leaned closer to Cyril, his voice lowering. Casimir slid further back in his seat.
“Then, one morning, the man you seek- just a boy at this point, entered his home to discover his whole family had been slain. And standing next to their corpses was his own brother, covered in their blood. Some people say they could hear the boy's screams from a mile away.” The bartender sighed, and stood back a little, his voice returning to normal volume. “The other boy had always been odd, some women in the village defended him after he was put to trial, but everyone else knew he was guilty. The boy was a vampire, after all, and we all know what those creatures are truly like.” Cyril nodded his head, sipping his drink once more. “I know I sure do.” The two continued to speak, Casimir picking up bits and pieces as he began to drown them out once again. This is what he was trying to avoid, these conversations, this fear. If that man looked over and recognized him, what would happen to him? Would he be locked up again, or would they simply kill him on the spot this time? He didn’t know which would be worse. At least if he was killed he wouldn’t have to suffer that humiliation again- at least the pain would be quick.
“Thank you very much for the help, kind sir.” Casimir turned his gaze back to Cyril once again, and watched as he slid a generous tip to the man. Casimir was a little disgusted that he did, but it’s not like the other knew that the bartender had been talking about him.
The bartender gave his thanks, shaking Cyril’s hand. “The best place to find him around this time would be the orphanage I believe. He doesn't open his doors for anyone unless they are first invited, but he does spend an awful lot of time with the children of this community- especially those with no home. He’s truly a kind man, he’ll be good to you. Best of luck on your journey.” Cyril nodded, and hopped down from his seat, heading towards Casimir. Casimir quickly stood, and began to walk towards the door- he wasn’t going to talk to his partner in here, not in front of that man. And it felt a little good to ignore the other, he was still a little mad at him for dragging him here. He stepped out of the inn- the smell of salt water and a cool breeze hit him immediately, and he shivered. It was so familiar, a scent that once brought comfort, but now brought nothing but misery.
“Hey! Why are you storming away from me?” He whipped around, facing Cyril with a scowl on his face, the smell of the air just making him more mad at the other.
“I told you not to bring me here.” Cyril looked at him in curiosity, “What is your problem with this place? I thought you said you’ve never been here?” He backtracked a little, cooling his expression. He was trying to keep his secret for as long as possible, not spill it hours after arriving. “I haven't been, but I’ve heard the stories. This town hates vampires, and I,” he gestured to himself, “very clearly am not comfortable with that.”
Cyril awkwardly rubbed his neck, and walked closer to him. “Well, if it helps, you look completely human right now.” Casimir sighed and pinched his nose. He wanted to be human so badly, but this was the one place where he would rather be a vampire. “That doesn’t help at all.”
Cyril whacked a hand down on his shoulder, with more force than necessary.
“We’ll leave as soon as we can, I promise. I just need to talk to this guy and figure out what his deal is, and then we can head back to the city and report to the others. I just can't drop this yet, Casimir.” His heart dropped as his name was spoken. “I’ve heard he may have a high rank in the church, he could be the key to getting in if I make him my ally.”
“Don't call me that here.” The words came out harsher than he planned them too, but he didn’t care.
“What?” “Don't call me by my name.” He regretted bringing it up, and he began to fidget with whatever was in his pockets.
Cyrus let go of him, staring at him.
“What’s going on? You're being really odd, did something happen to you in this town? Why wouldn’t I be able to say-” Cy’s eyes widened and he let out a little “oh.”. Casimir turned away, and continued walking, not ready to face that yet. He wasn’t ready to explain it, or relive it.
Cy came up behind him, and then nudged his way next to him. He got closer to him, whispering, “I know you wouldn’t have done that, I believe you.”
“Why are you assuming I was the one in that story? And even if I was, why assume I didn't really do it?”
Cyril glanced at him, and then returned his focus to what was in front of him.
“It doesn't take a genius to realize somethings been off about you for the past few days. And if you knew the town hated vampires, why didn’t you just say that to begin with? Besides, I noticed how freaked out you got in the inn. I figured it was just because of the whole, yknow, being a vampire thing. But then you told me not to say your name.” He paused, taking a breath. “And I assume that you didn’t really do that,” he turned and faced Casimir with a look that almost made the other stumble back a little.“Because I know you. And I know how loving and kind you are. You wouldn’t do something like that, at least not willingly.”
Casimir stared at the other in silence, before he continued walking forward, it was all he could do really- all he ever could do. “Thanks Cyril.” He finally said, breaking his silence. “Let's just get this over with, okay?”
He saw Cy nod out of the corner of his eye, the two of them walking closer to the orphanage. “Do you think you should stay back? What if he knows it's you?” Casimir shook his head, even though every part of him was screaming to turn back.
“I have to do this. I know what my brother has become, to some extent, but I need to see how bad it really is. Besides, the last time he saw me I was a little boy with bright pink eyes, fangs, and pointy ears. Hopefully enough time has passed, and my disguise is good enough.”
Cy nodded again, continuing on.
They reached the orphanage quickly, after all, the town was small. Casimir could practically feel his heart beating out of his chest, and he debated turning back. He couldn’t go through all of that again, he couldn’t-
“You don't have to do this, you know. We can turn back.” Cy placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, looking at the door of the orphanage in determination.
“But I do have to.”
Cyril nodded his head, taking his hand off of Casimir's shoulder. He suddenly felt a lot colder.
Cy stepped forward, knocking on the door which almost immediately opened. A tall woman with a warm smile stepped forward, offering a kind greeting. Cy smiled at her so brightly, Casimir couldn't help but smile too.
“Oh yes! He’s in with the children, please, do come in!”
Casmir snapped back to reality as Cy began to walk forward, and he nervously followed behind him. This was it. For years he had been trying to avoid this, for years he had been hiding, running, fearful. He wished he could say he wasn’t anymore.
Cyril was laughing with the woman as she escorted them towards the back- he had a natural affinity for making people happy, unlike Casimir. The woman stopped in front of a large ornate door, perhaps too ornate for an orphanage, and turned to the pair.
“Here we are! It was a pleasure to meet you, hopefully I will see you on your way out.”
Cyril kissed her hand and she let out a little squeak before hurrying off. Casimir made a disgusted look at the other, earning him a little smack.
“Ready?” “No.”
Cy opened the doors, and sitting on the ground with a little boy- who looked eerily like Casimir- was his brother. His twin.
The air was sucked out of his lungs as his brother looked up, and the two of them made eye contact for the first time since the day Casimir escaped the prison he had thrown him in. He watched as his brother's eyebrows scrunched a little, holding his breath. This was it.
“Do I…know you?”
Cy stepped forward, reaching a hand out. The other stood up, brushing his pants off, and offered his own hand.
“Cyril, pleasure to meet you.”
Casimir stared at his brother in awe. He had gotten so tall- and where had he gotten those scars?
“Elias, the pleasure is all mine. What brings you here?” His brother smiled at his partner, and then offered a hand to Casimir. Casimir shook it, and the other ignored his shaking.
“My friend and I, oh this is Eivor,” he gestured to Casimir who awkwardly waved- “are looking to strengthen our connections to religion. I heard that you are a powerful holy man, and that you may be able to help.”
Elias laughed a little, and leaned down to the little boy who was still playing on the ground. The boy nodded after the older man was finished speaking, and hurried out the door. Casimirs heart dropped as he watched the boy leave.
“You’ve come to the right place. I don't know how much I will be able to assist you without truly knowing you, but I can offer my library in my estate for the day. I own many texts that others would find difficult to acquire, they are yours to read.”
“Thank you! We would appreciate that greatly.”
Elias hummed and walked towards the door, “I’ll bring you there now, I was just about to head out anyways. You caught me just in time.” Cyril grinned, and began to follow the other man, motioning to Casimir to follow.
And so, Casimir found himself sitting at a large table in the library of his childhood home. He tried to keep his gaze focused on the book he was “reading” but he kept glancing towards the family portrait hung above the entrance. His mother and father looked so….alive. The photo looked the same as it did the day Casimir left, except for one difference. Casimirs face had been scratched out.
He looked away from the portrait, looking at it wouldn’t make him feel any better- it made him feel infinitely worse.
“There's nothing in these books, no leads, nothing. Maybe this was all a waste o-” “Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't you dare.”
“...sorry.”
The two continued to sit in silence, the sound of pages turning occasionally filling the room. They had been in the room for about two hours when Elias came in once more.
“Say, did Alaric send you? Sorry for interrupting, but I recognize that necklace.” Elias pulled out a necklace that matched Cyril’s perfectly. “It didn't hit me until now, but he gave me the same one.”
Casimir and Cyril both sat up- this could help get them information.
“You know Alaric? He’s one of my close friends- he introduced me to the church.” It wasn’t a lie. Except for the fact that Alaric had introduced Cy to the church in order to bring it down.
Elias smiled, grabbing Cyril’s hands. “Then you are a friend of mine! You must be here to help us bring the vampires down once and for all, right?” Casimirs blood ran cold, but he nodded along with Cyril.
“Yes! I can't believe you know Alaric, what a small world!” Cy sobered a bit, “If you know anything about taking them down, I'm all ears.”
“ Well ....usually I don't show this to outsiders, but…if you are a friend of Alaric, I suppose you are not an outsider. Follow me.”
As they followed Elias down the hallway Casimir kept his gaze pointed down. It was easier to focus on his shoes than focus on the wallpaper that he saw bloody in his dreams each night. He passed the door to his childhood bedroom, and it took everything in him to not run into the room, it took everything in him to not break down. But he kept walking.
He knew where his brother was leading them at this point, and he debated turning back. He was about to excuse himself when they arrived at the large doors- and before he could get the words out the doors were being shoved open.
And as Elias opened the doors it all came back. The sight of his mother on the floor, bleeding to death. His little sister screaming in agony as she was killed right in front of him, his father, his brother, his baby sister. Horrible images of corpses and the smell of blood blinded him and consumed all his senses, as it all came back.
He was 4 years old, running in the grass screaming, as his dad chased him around. The next minute he was on the ground laughing with his father.
He was 6 years old playing with his brother, building a tower so high that even god could see.
He was 8 years old, holding his little sister for the first time, promising to protect her.
He was 10 years old, holding his other sister for the first time, swelling with pride.
He's 11. He's in love.
He's 12. He's heartbroken.
And then he's 13. And he's dead. Everyones dead. And just like that it's over. Everythings over. Casimir died in this room, to some extent. A part of him died with his family, the part of him that believed in peace and innocence. The brother he once knew died here as well, and he would do anything, anything, to bring him back. But he knew it was too late, seeing this, all of this, he knew. His brother was gone, another family member he had to bury. He could feel his face twisting as he nearly vomited, and he silently thanked the lord that Elias couldn’t see him. Cyril could though, and he shot him a look of panic and sympathy. Casimir shook his head- they had to get out of here, fast.
The blood stains remained in the expensive carpet, and splattered all over the walls. The room felt heavy, and dark- it was practically crying out. Casimir swore he could still hear the screams from that day, and the faint sounds of small children laughing. This was the family room at one point, how fitting that they all died there.
The most disturbing detail of the room though, was not the blood. No, it was the weapons. The massive collection of weapons, torture tools, etc. scattered all over the room. Hanging high above the fireplace, overlooking the weapons, was a portrait of his mother. He turned away in disgust- she would never have stood for this.
Elias turned to face them, an eerie smile painted on his face- one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “My mothers son murdered my family in this room, many years ago. I’m sure you’ve heard the story, I won't bore you with it. The townspeople like to talk, and they use this story as….a sort of warning I suppose. I let them, of course- it keeps the vampires afraid, it keeps them away.” His smile grew. “Or it leads them to me.”
Casimir shivered, and Cy remained frozen.
“These weapons, these tools…all of them are effective against those creatures. I conduct research for the church- I study their power, the way they turn each other, and what drives them. And then I kill them, of course. With this, we are able to gain more insight in how to defeat them. Impressive, no?” Cyril choked a little, but he had always been an impressive actor. “I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, of course.” Elias nodded solemnly. “But this, this is all so impressive. You are quite skilled- thank you for your work.”
Elias clapped a hand on Cy’s shoulder, and smiled at Casimir. “I do what I can for those who can't defend themselves. I'm happy to do the dirty work if it means the children can sleep at night.”
“You are an honorable man.” Elias hummed, walking towards the door. “Let us leave now, I do not like lingering in this room longer than necessary.”
The doors closed before Casimir could look back, yet again.
“I will rid this world of vampires, even if it kills me.”
Elias continued to walk forward, and Casimir felt like he had just walked 11 years backwards.
“Whatever you need, we will aid you in your journey.”
At one point, he thought his brother would be his best friend forever.
“The church will provide whatever you need, I assure you.”
He supposed they never really were friends.
“We truly appreciate all you have done for us.”
He wanted to go home.
“Please do stay in touch, it was a pleasure meeting you.”
He wanted his mother. He had to save her from that room.
“Thank you again for everything.”
He snapped back to focus, staring at his brother, who was holding the main door to the house open. He wanted to embrace him, he wanted to make it all better, he wanted to beg for forgiveness. He wanted to strangle him, he wanted to throw him in a cell and humiliate and torture him, he wanted to make him endure the pain he had to endure for years.
Instead, he shook Elias’s hand, and offered a quick goodbye. He didn’t wait for Cyril before walking out of the house, and once he was far enough, his walk turned to a jog. He ran, once again, from the estate on the hill. He ran from his troubles, from his brother, from it all.
Casimir was sick of running, but he couldn’t seem to stop.
#also ik its weird that he wouldnt recognize his own twin#but its bc he literally repressed memories of his brother and like burned all his photos#the scars are because he scratched his face so bad bc he didnt want to look like casimir bc he truly believes he killed their family
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And the ground.
Taunts my wings.
Plummet as I sing. Plummet as I
How frustrating. And so DEGRADING.
How frustrating. And so DEGRADING.
It's so degrading.
It's so degrading.
It's so degrading.
It's so degrading.
Your soul knows good and evil. Choose.
Pick your battle. This is mine.
#this is what isle is in my head btw. it's this on loop.#not-fun fact: this song is what brought me back from the brink! bad memories!#it feels frustrating and DEGRADING#and the way he sings it scratches an itch in my brain#anyways! hbd st#twenty one pilots#tyler joseph#best song ever written imo
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just remembered ceedee/micah... omg..............
#sometimes i wish i hadn't left cuz there's so much good lore i wrote#LOL#guess i just have to start again from scratch+bad memory#nfl rpf#ceedee/micah#starting a tag bc MOTIVATION#ceedee lamb#micah parsons#they can take comfort in each other for flopping this season
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spent the last fifteen minutes of my drive home from dnd talking to myself about the dirge/astarion dynamic 🧍♂️🚶♂️
#how they are both people who view things on a scale of victim to victimizer. how dirge was victimizer and astarion a victim#and yet they both lived in fear. how it’s all merely a cycle of who has the power#dirge’s anger and resentment are expressions of the fear that they have had the power stripped from their life#funny enough as they didn’t truly have power over themselves to begin with—no agency over self or body#which is a cruel realization on top of their lack of memories#astarion’s anger at his abuse and the rage at how he will never go back#there’s something about them both being in these cycles of abuse and power and victimhood#again. the breaking apart of the idea of the perfect victim#hurt people will hurt people#anyway their early dynamic scratches my brain of they recognize this putting on of a mask and a performance#dirge’s desire to press upon that mask astarion wears to crack it and see what is really underneath#astarion’s easy slide back into manipulation for the sake of power and the safety#they both want things from each other and it slips into an attraction and later sex#there’s really. nothing to it for either of them beyond the expression of attraction and desire#it sort of slips into an active needling at each other. the poking and proding#trying to pick at each others masks bc there are glimpses of what is underneath#and the recognition of the self in the other (derogatory)#but it’s not all bad. there’s gaps of earnest moments#dirge’s fear of what the urge drives them to do. the moments of connection and softness with the other companions#sorry this is long I’m gonna keep marinating on it#they are eating my brain#oc: dirge#I should write out an actual post
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hmm.
#feels like i'm feeling way too many things all at once to be contained in a fragile human body#it's tearing me apart. brain bones muscles and skin#everything is just too much and i am too raw for life in this state#everything hurts so unbelievably much and i don't know how to deal with it other than what i usually do#i NEED a total reset. wipe the entire slate clean. start from scratch#so i can function a bit better for 2-5 years until i need another reset#i feel like i'm at my breaking point. this time i want to do the reset before disaster strikes#i am too clingy too needy too nauseatingly jealous and always on the verge of tears without the ability to cry#keeping the worst of it contained is draining me#it's bad enough i let so many of my erratic thoughts and memories slip the past couple months#for that i am sorry
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I love how everyone has that defining moment in their childhood when they first realized/saw that the opposite sex has different looking genitals. I never had that moment because no one in my preschool knew how to shut the God damn doors when pissing
#i remeber i had to piss really bad and this one kid left the door open and was shitting forwver#and he was looking me DEAD IN THE EYE with the most blank and bored stare while he was shitting#and the teacher just told the kid to hurry up and not bothering to shut the door#i also remember waiting to piss during nap time and a kid was pissing and it got everywhere#like some piss was on the cieling it was that bad#i just kinds watched and then pissed my pants or something idk#i didn't shut the door either#id have convod with other kids while i pissed#my preschool was pretty good but so fucking weird#like i remeber being besties with this one girl but my parents and her parents said that she hated me#and thinking about it now she really did#like she bit me she scratched me dhe attacked me she called me poopy face etc#but she gsve me bsck my stuffed dog so that's fine little me thought that we were friends#wonder how shes doing#preschool#childhood memories#childhood#preschool stories
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finally finished studying for my ap test if I'm never seen again you know why wish me luck
#I'm going to spread my resources out to everyone#flame u get my blog (this one) + any non-dc related WIPs I have#violet u get my other blog and my dc-related WIPs/unreleased fics (I have an embarrassing amount of those from b wayne week)#uhhhhhhhh#flame u and jessie can share my school supplies#zoe u can have my health notes and uhh my bendy pencil bc I know ur never gonna pay attention ever again with that bad boy#what else do u guys want think of me like a grocery store#flame u can have gidget actually#my sweet precious lil baby kitty who I saw today for the first time in a week 😍😍😍#I gave her lil scratches and she purred a lil and then my mom was like “go back in ur room u have covid” and I was like 😢😢 okay#flame honor my memory by reblogging a house md AND an espresseleine post once a month#otherwise you can turn this mostly neutral blog into a whatever blog u want
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guys its only barely saturday in my timezone
and yall are already reblogging hr tribute saturday and i thought i was the insane one here
#rambles#EITHER WAY.....#29 DAYS UNTIL.... THE DAY...#please do know ive been counting since at least like what day 250. i dont even know i have bad adhd memory ok#i wonder who owns that one hr countdown blog.#also scratching at boardbothq doors thomas let me in i must know TGhe Lore's!
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excuse YOU!! minute maid is superior in... bluh. whatever tree tops has. it is REFRESHING and NICE.
(also, if we are talking mems, i think i am pretty much canon compliant; save for a memory of me making bracelets for dave and all that stuff! :p) - 💨
minute maid tastes boring dude no flavour to it theres not fruit its like if you had fucking grape juice
#also im pretty canon compliant too#i think#except for after the game post game was really different but you gotta give me a heads up if you want those deets there are a lot#me and karkat were moirails though that was a divergence from canon#OH ANDTHE GAME WAS A WEEK instead of a day we had more time pre you scratching the universe#my john (maybe you?) made me watch con air it sucked but whatever#also if were comparing memories i feel bad but i do gotta ask your age (im 17 btw as of august)
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