#bad movie bad commentary on gender

[miyanagi]

no FUCKING WAY was the actual ending of the barbie movie her becoming a real woman coinciding with her getting a vagina are you joking. are you actually fucking kidding me. greta gerwig kill yourself

[greencarnation]

i wish there'd been a butch/masc barbie. there was weird barbie who i loved but it made me sad that even in this utopia for women butch women are still shunned

[rivetgoth]

The fact that I’ve seen a few people try to analyze I Saw the TV Glow through a lens of it being about like, fandom and obsession with media and nostalgia being bad ?? is genuinely blowing my mind. Obviously there’s the fact that this movie is as unambiguously about being trans as it can possibly be without just saying outright “this is a movie about being trans” but I also think this is crazy because I would say it actually has one of the most unambiguously positive relationships with concepts like “media consumption” and “nostalgia” that I’ve seen in a movie.

Like, to say it’s a shallow interpretation of the film to call it “about media/fandom” (and especially a negative depiction of such things!) is putting it quite kindly because I kind of feel that anyone who utters such sentiments didn’t actually understand the core element of the entire movie: “The Pink Opaque” is not a show. Commentary the film makes about watching “The Pink Opaque” cannot translate to commentary on watching shows broadly because the movie spends half its runtime making it explicitly clear that “The Pink Opaque” may be a show that exists in a literal sense but is not one in a figurative sense. “The Pink Opaque” represents the possibilities of childhood and innocence. Innocence that still is not free from judgment—Owen gets told the show is for girls, Maddy’s friend accuses her of sexual harassment on account of her sexuality while they were watching it together—but it’s the moment in your youth (or any time! it doesn’t have to go away!) when the possibility of queerness and more explicitly queer utopia feels real to you. The external pressures to conform are still there but you can tune them out if just for a moment to envision a future and a life for yourself free of it and living authentically. I think this is an experience all LGBT people can relate to, but in the case of ISTTVG it’s very explicitly primarily focusing on queer femininity, predominantly transfemininity, but in Maddy’s case as well she is a queer woman (I’ve seen some interpretations of her as transmasculine but I disagree personally). Hence the on-the-nose nature of it being PINK.

What feels very genius about Schoenbrun making it about a show though is that it’s so generational, right? For all of us LGBT people who grew up in the age of screens that WAS where a lot of that early imagination going wild resided. The first time you explore a new name is on anonymous forums. The first time you explore your masculinity or femininity is with which character you relate to in a show, or which gender you select in Pokémon. Movies and shows with “queer subtext” or even without give young LGBT people the chance to envision relationships and futures for themselves, what many grow up and call “shipping.” You have your first gay crush while watching your favorite movies. You envy those of your true gender while watching your favorite movies. Amongst many other things when Maddy watches “The Pink Opaque” she’s given access to a world where two women share this intimate connection and overcome obstacles together. When Owen watches “The Pink Opaque” they’re given access to a world where femininity is a real option for their future.

The relationship these characters have to “The Pink Opaque” is a net positive and the movie makes that so incredibly obvious when Owen goes back to rewatch it later and finds that it’s nothing like how they remembered, it feels childish and immature and dumb. That is a bad thing. This is a bad thing. The movie wants you to see this as a bad thing. This is the result of repression, of conversion therapy, of violent coercion into normative lifestyle—That sense of limitless possibility is destroyed and the idea of accessing one’s transness, of imagining this utopia where you CAN be yourself and live as a woman, strong and beautiful on the other side of the screen as said in the film, is lost. Now you tell yourself it feels silly, it feels childish to imagine such things, it’s not nearly as deep and meaningful as you believed it was when you were younger and less inhibited, or it’s at the very least easier to tell yourself that. Owen’s feeling embarrassed is of note here. If it weren’t for these external pressures that have been internalized they very well may have been able to still enjoy the show, even as they’ve aged and grown and matured, even if their perspective has changed a little. But they can’t. Not yet, at least.

I feel kind of out of my mind seeing people try to approach it through a lens of commentating on media consumption because it’s so deeply missing the layers of what’s actually being said… and not even in a wildly obfuscated way. The movie is ABOUT the relationship these characters have to “The Pink Opaque” and how the loss of that is a bad thing. How you can possibly watch it and see it being about some kind of growth from obsessive media consumption is mind boggling to me. Seeing multiple reviews and posts in tags about it is crazy. One thing I really like about this movie is that it so confidently argues for a more positive interpretation of being obsessed with “fantasy” and the childlike wonder of the limitless possibilities of fiction. I think that’s a very very trans narrative, as I mentioned it feels tied deeply into Queer Utopia, and I find it much more bold of a stance to take. In a world where people tell trans individuals (and especially trans women) that their identities are works of fiction or products of the imagination or even caused by excessive media consumption, to embrace these things and turn them over and use them as a symbol of the whimsy and innocence and excitement that first ignites that spark as a positive, thrilling, beautiful thing is very cool.

[veliseraptor]

re: that post i just reblogged about 'cozy horror'...i know better than to expect anything approaching decent commentary from the mary sue these days but this article really is just. sending me this morning. (thank you for sharing, @bereft-of-frogs! this was a good diversion from being angry about work stuff to being angry about something else.) starting off strong with:

local writer has been introduced to novel concept of broader horror genre!

ah yeah that instantly makes sense to me particularly as a segue after mentioning midsommar and the witch, two movies that i would definitely describe as "cozy"

the cozy horror novels of t. kingfisher, like the one with the description of an animated deer skull hovering outside a window at night that still freaks me out to remember? those ones?

my favorite part though might be the author's confident assertion that this is all about gender really:

because boys like icky bad horror that's difficult and intense and girls like nice cozy horror with happy endings and low stakes. ah yes. feminism!

if this becomes a thing i am going to perish. isn't taking over the sff environment with cozy feel good fluff enough, must the world take this from me too, it's hard enough to find horror i like already

[captainofthedauntless]

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Rise Leonardo x Reader imagine

Info + Warnings: Reader's having a bad time. It's fluff anyway. No gendered language, pronouns, or Y.N used for Reader. Friends-to-lovers type beat, yearning era. Set a few years post movie. Suggestive comments, maybe.

Commentary: This is not proof read.

He loves this.

Not- not whatever your head's doing, with the grim skies and that far away look you get every now and again and the fact that your sleep's shit and- well, not that.

The way you're laying on his floor.

He'd left the room long enough to grab some snack mix- because it's easy, it's quick, you like it, and there's something almost like nutrition there, protein probably- and when he walks back in, you're on your back on the floor, arms draped by your head, one ankle tossed over the other knee as you stare at the ceiling.

He has literal benches against the wall of the old subway car. A bean bag chair. Your favorite chair is in the corner, the one he's all but verbally declared your seat, that he always throws a hoodie in (out of convenience, mind you. That's all. No ulterior motives here, no sir). His entire bed is free- and made, thank you- and yet you're sprawled on his floor as though social norms are nonexistent here.

He really, really likes that idea.

"Comfy?" He asks playfully, moving around you with ease.

You hum a yes, and he glances back at you.

You're tired. He knows that already. But somehow, the bags beneath your eyes look darker from this angle. The weight that's been holding your sunny smile back from its full force is almost visible here.

He gets hit with a wave of want- want to fix it, want to hold you, want to make it better- so hard that he feels it physically, just beneath his plastron, fierce and yearning in his chest.

An irrational part of him thinks you must feel it somehow, because you glance over at him as it happens. "What?"

"Trying to remember the last time I swept," He quips instinctively.

You roll your eyes- the way that means you're amused, the way that he chases like a dog after a ball- and they settle back on the ceiling. "Somehow, I think I'll manage a little dirt."

It's not quite right. It's off center. Off the mark. Your voice- it's just to the right of where it should be. It's missing its shine, the playful way you meet him where he lives and make his quips-and-wordplay house your home too.

Luckily, he's pretty damn mobile.

So he moves. He nudges you with his foot, and you move your arm to lay across your torso and clear a spot for him, and he easily drops down next to you and passes you one of the bottles of water he'd grabbed and sets the snack mix between you.

He lays down next to you in whatever this other house is, and he can feel the cobwebs trying to cling to you.

"Hi," He says softly, staring at the ceiling.

"Hi," You repeat, and it's monosyllabic and neutral and means nothing but he feels like you're making a space for him at your table.

It feels like an invitation, an acceptance, like a "why don't you stay for dinner?".

He thinks he'd stay forever, if it'd help. He's good with a duster. He can help tidy things up, if you let him.

Leo wants to ask why you moved in. What brought you here, to this dreary, haunted-looking old place.

"Wanna watch some Vine greatest hits?" He asks instead.

Not even half an hour later, your breathing has all but convinced him that you're asleep.

He's fighting the urge to check, not wanting to risk waking you up somehow.

Instead, he reaches up and into his little viewing-portal, turning his phone down slightly where it's resting on his bed. (No tired arms, no piecing together a makeshift phone stand, no risk of dropping it on your face. As easy as portals are to maintain these days, it's a no-brainer.)

The screen goes dark as another compilation ends, and instead of hitting "Play" on the suggested video, he finds your face in the reflection.

You look asleep. You look tired, and it aches a little to see.

He can let his eyes linger, now, with yours closed, so he reaches up to turn his screen off.

You're still gorgeous, he thinks with a fond half-hearted frustration. Even exhausted.

When he gets into these dark places, he looks like a wreck.

When you do it, he wants to pull you in by the waist and kiss it better.

Fucking ridiculous.

He finds himself trying to match his breath to yours. Inhale, small pause, exhale, longer pause, inhale, and in that second small pause he realizes this is how he always feels. Like you're synced, like you give him a rhythm to rely on, like you give him something to orbit around when he's knocked out of place.

It's not a new thought, but the analogizing makes something shift in his chest to make room for the sheer size of the feeling.

He loves you. That's not news. You're one of his closest friends- his closest, maybe- and he loves you.

But he's been having the dangerous thought that he might love you, lately.

Might be in love with you.

And when you do things like instinctively look at him right as he glances your way and play off of his jokes like a tennis match and text him pictures of the sunset just because you think it's pretty, he thinks it's more than a might.

But now, something's dragging rainclouds into your sky. And you've found your way to his floor, his space, his company. Again.

He'd barely even had to offer it on the phone earlier, hearing the gray in your voice and tossing the idea of company your way.

You'd barely even had to consider it. You'd just said you'd have to stop by your place, first, and set your stuff down.

You were tired enough to fall asleep, and still came.

You're comfortable enough on his floor, in his space, in his company to fall asleep.

And, if the way he knows in his bones he'd sit here for forever if it means not disturbing you is any indication, he's fallen into something else entirely.

Something that feels like listening to the ocean hit the piers, something that feels like the humming of all of Donnie's security gadgets, something that feels like brushing against his Ninpō. It's familiar, consistent, comforting.

You make a little moaning sound eventually, rolling your shoulders some and inhaling deeply as you rejoin the land of the conscious.

It sends blood straight to his cheeks, and he tries not to think about anywhere else.

"Sorry," you mumble, voice thick and syrupy from sleep.

For half a second, he thinks you're apologizing for the sound, and he's trying to figure out how to tell you to never apologize for that ever, and actually, do way more of it.

Then his brain takes over, shuts his body up, and points out that you probably meant for falling asleep.

"Nah," He says lazily, the picture of chill. You could commit a murder on his floor and he doesn't think he'd care much.

"Didn't mean to fall asleep," You continue, groggy as you dig the heel of your palm into your eye. "How long was I out?"

He has no idea. "An hour, maybe?"

He catches your eye in the reflection on his phone screen, and you tense, and then you soften again.

"You weren't just laying here, were you?" You ask, in that gentle hidden-guilt way of yours, and he kinda wants to shake you by the shoulders until your brain reconnects and realizes that he'd just lay there forever if you'd let him, attention span be damned.

He opts to tease you, instead. "Oh, so when you think the floor is comfy-"

"You have a shell," You point out dryly.

"You think a turtle can't enjoy the floor? Rude."

You grumble something about it being too early for this, and he doesn't even bother to bite back his grin.

"Thanks," You say after a minute, catching his eye again. Your features are soft and vulnerable and open, and he has to fight not to turn to you, to let you stay in the safety of a reflection. "For being here."

"Always," He says immediately, not even considering it. It's instinctive, reactive, true.

It makes you smile, and he thinks- knows- he's a goner.

He gets three proper laughs from you before you leave.

Two actual smiles, too. They're muted, but they're there, and he hopes he can keep his mental snapshots of them for forever. Longer than that.

You're still gray, still muted, still hazy, but you're here. You're bathed in the multi-colored light of his room and comfortable and safe, and he's wondering how he ever thought he might be in love.

And when you finally do leave- late, and only because you have life again tomorrow- he portals you straight to your room.

He catches your hand impulsively on your way out, giving it a quick squeeze, and smiling in what he hopes is a reassuring manner when you look at him.

You give him a small smile back, and it's resilient and strong and it feels like hope.

You're resilient and strong and feel like hope.

He's in love.

"Wanna do this again tomorrow?" He asks, sounding much more casual than he feels.

"I don't want to-" And you cut yourself off just as he feels an eyeroll building in his skull, bracing himself to hear bother you or be a pest or something similarly insane. "...Yeah. I do."

He squeezes your hand again and grins, and he has to swallow back something gooey and too-much. "Just say the word, and your chariot shall await," He says instead, tilting his head towards the portal.

You study him for a second, something calculating and scrutinizing in your eyes. "Thank you," You say softly, like you mean it.

"Always," He repeats softly, like he means it.

You step through the portal, your hand slipping from his, and he gives you a little salute before letting it close.

He glances at his bed.

He lays down on the floor, instead, and makes a mental note to actually sweep.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

claude x reader au where clawmino are stoners

hear me out

tags: gender neutral reader, pre-relationship, significant lack of claude in the claude x reader fic, au where everything is the same but nijisanji en is just a giant smoke circle, weed as described by someone that doesn’t do weed, other liver mentions

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The air goes rich with cocoa as Shu skims the surface of the bowl. Ribbons of instant brownie batter unfurl from the mixing spatula as he raises it, then slaps the surface of the bowl again.

His phone rests on the counter. No matter how hard he wills it the screen remains blank with zero notifications. How long does it take to meet up with your plug, anyway?

Still, there’s not much else he can do while he waits for you to return. Folding the batter would be fun, but you told him over-mixing is a one-way ticket to tough brownies, so that has to wait. Especially since he hasn’t added the chocolate chips yet. The best brownies have an obscene chip-batter ratio but that requires folding, so… waiting.

In a rare moment of impatience Shu stabs the spatula into the batter and picks up his phone, just as the door clicks open.

“Got it?” He asks as you step inside, noticeably sans weed. “You got it, right?” He repeats even though he thinks he knows the answer and your empty hands confirm it.

You bitterly shovel a handful of chocolate chips in your mouth. “He’s not selling.”

“But Finana just bought from him the other day.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not Finana.”

Shu peers at you. When you invited him over to take the piss out of a crappy movie you were in a good mood, but now your eyes were pointed and narrow. Not to mention they weren’t red at all, which was going to be a problem. Sober commentary is fine, but zooted commentary goes way harder.

You flicked on your phone, unaware of Shu’s observations. “You think I could I.O.U. Feesh for some of her stash right now?”

“She’s out of town.”

“Fuck, you’re right.” You grimaced at the screen, then met his eye. “Hey, you wanna see something stupid?”

“Yeah?”

Without a word, you handed your phone to Shu. He took it gingerly and held it to his face. “From Claude: Find another weed guy I can’t [frick] with you?” Shu glanced back at you with all the understanding of a gerbil lost in a quantum physics seminar. You gestured for him to go on. “Uhhhhmm nothing personal, I can’t—“

Shu’s jaw dropped as he scrolled down. “—I can’t fall in love right now?!”

“It gets worse,” you said.

“You’re Everthing (with a big E and no y, huh) I love so if I ever see you again I’ll never let go of your hand sooo yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Woa,” Shu said.

“So no weed.”

“Infinite weed glitch.”

“No, I just said he’s done selling to me.”

“Reader, he’s asking you out,” Shu said. “So if you stay together you have access to like his entire stash.”

You furrowed your brow. “I know he’s your friend, Shu, but are you seriously telling me to take advantage of him ‘cause he’s a dealer?”

Shu didn’t say anything.

“You’re an awful liar.”

When caught in a lie Shu always reacts childishly, a far cry from his usual laidback attitude. Guilt paints his face. “Okay, maybe he’s trying his best and doesn’t know what to do!” He cries. “This is the guy that routinely says he’s afraid of women, of course he doesn’t know how to ask anyone out!”

“He does that?” You bury your face in your hands. Surely you’re turning a deeper shade of red, too. “Oh, no. We’re both clueless.”

You slump down into the couch and groan for a while. Shu follows, brownies forgotten in favor of patting you on the back and occasionally, awkwardly giggling.

“It’s not that bad. You can get to know each other,” he tries. “I guess you’ve talked with him a little but not enough to be a friend instead of weed guy? So you could, uh, try being friends?”

“Shu, he professed his love to me and I don’t even know his last name.”

“Clawmark.” He rethought what you said. “He’s really bad with romance.”

You groan some more. Shu pats you on the back again, albeit even more awkwardly.

“You knew he liked me, didn’t you?”

He hesitated, but mustered up the words before you could call him out on it again. He sheepishly laughs. “I didn’t not know… he wanted to talk to you more.”

“Wait, did he keep cutting me deals because he liked me? I thought it was because I was a regular!”

“He gives you deals?”

“Yes?”

Shu buries his head in his hands just like you. “I didn’t realize he had it that bad.”

You both sit on the couch, unaware of how identical you look, until Shu grips your sleeve. “You don’t have to be cool with it, and he won’t be weird if you aren’t cool.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t cool.”

“Oh.”

“He’s kind of cute.”

“Okay.”

“In a lost dog type of way.”

“Huh.”

You exhale as you rub your fingers through your hair. “You have to tell me if I’m about to make an awful decision in my dating life.”

“I don’t think it’s bad, no.” Shu giggles again, but this time relief colors his words. “He’s a good guy but you should think about it before telling him anything.”

You set your phone on the table, lean back into the couch, and stare into the ceiling with laser vision. “Great. Now I need to get high and we don’t even have weed for the weed brownies.”

Shu sighs, resigned. He picks up his own phone. “I’ll go ask for Kunai’s prices.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi ✧. ┊ sorry i can only find this meme on ifunny

[coff-in]

coff-in!!! tell us about your personal headcanons about the graves siblings and how they act around reader (just in general) would love to hear your own personal hcs!!

notes from coff-in: aaahh my own headcanons! these are for a graves sibling [reader] since i usually think about that... a lot... too much actually :3 i'll try to keep these gender neutral and sweet because i'm kinda in that fluffy mood rn

[gender neutral] reader-insert

andy helped leyley and [reader] a lot with their homework. depending on who [reader] looked up to more, they either got into drawing/art or writing/reading

both are supportive over whatever [reader] chooses to pursue. andy makes sure to put up both leyley and [reader]'s art and leyley will hang out with andy and [reader] while they read and write (though she's not too big of a fan of it herself)

ashley tried to teach [reader] how to cook... it didn't end up too well (nothing bad happened but [reader] isn't trusted to be in the kitchen alone anymore)

if it was a modern au; ashley would suggest that [reader] would get a job they could work from home (andrew would work in an actual building, probably something related to literature)

they have movie/tv bingeing nights where they cuddle together on the couch and watch something together. i think ashley doesn't talk too much during a show/movie she actually likes, but will constantly interrupt otherwise. andrew makes some comments here or there talking about plot or dumb moments but leaves ost of his commentary for afterwards when they cuddle in bed

ashley would persuade [reader] to wear matching outfits with her :3

sometimes andrew likes to do his siblings' hair (since he obviously has a kink about it) but it's not anything sexual; just something domestic and intimate

wholly depends on how you age the [reader] insert, but one of the graves siblings wanted to attend [reader]'s prom night with them since it's such a special moment (i can also see ashley begging [reader] to stay at home so they can have their own personal prom night that's just as special)

i can see andrew or ashley passing down their older clothes to [reader] if they fit them. it makes them feel soft and gooey (and maybe aroused???) seeing [reader] in their clothes

really personal headcanon; if [reader] has a hard time verbalizing what they want, andrew and ashley are there to speak for them. ashley sometimes bends [reader]'s words a little bit at first so she can get [reader] to herself ("[reader] said that they want you to fuck off." *whisper whisper* "i was just joking, jeez... they actually just wanted you to move over a bit..."); andrew just says what [reader] what to say for them

they like it when [reader] puts a blanket over them when [reader] thinks that they're asleep, you know?

that's all i have for now, but thank you SO MUCH FOR ASKING :D

----

coff-in

[scoobydoodean]

https://www.tumblr.com/scoobydoodean/765086678619684864/omg-i-just-finished-your-emma-vs-amy-takes-and-the?source=share

This commentary you gave on how Sam and Dean view monsters makes so much sense to me, and also made me realize that Sam is very much an essentialist. To Sam, monsters are what they are due to some essential and unavoidable nature, and I think that really explains not only his self-perception as being "unclean" and always needing forgiveness, but also how he justified his demon blood drinking in s4.

Just like gender essentialism is used to excuse bad behavior from men ("boys will be boys"), Sam's monster essentialism gets used to justify his monstrous behavior. Sam started drinking demon blood voluntarily because he perceived it as being some sort of unavoidable thing due to Azazel forcibly feeding him blood as a baby. And if Sam is a monster, if Sam will always drink demon blood, then he chose to do it in a way that made him feel in control. Which is very understandable through this lens he has of his essential nature, but nevertheless was him making an active choice.

Maybe it later became an addiction, and there are arguments that can be had about how much of a choice it is once someone is addicted, but that first time he drank demon blood was a choice he made. And instead of taking ownership of that, he absolved himself by saying... Well, he's a monster. It's in his blood. It was always going to happen, so can he really blame himself?

Definitely! Sam became very fixated on destiny in season 4 (while Dean repeatedly said from season 2 on that he doesn't believe in destiny). Sam needed to believe that he didn't have a choice when he started drinking demon blood for revenge (4.09) but also needed to believe he could bring something good out of it (4.04). Ruby gave him those assurances—that he was the ONLY one who was strong enough to stop the apocalypse. Which is also why the angels saying Dean would stop the apocalypse became so upsetting to Sam and he started claiming Dean was too weak and only Sam was strong enough—Sam's self-image hinged on being able to make something he believed he couldn't control and that he believed made him "dirty" into something good. Dean is facing a similar motivation in season 4, partly believing that subverting the apocalypse can absolve him of what he did in hell (4.15) but what's so tragic is neither of them needed to be absolved. Dean was horrifically tortured into torturing others and Sam was fed demon blood as a baby and those things didn't make either of them bad people. Drinking demon blood from Ruby was a choice, but it's easier for Sam to tell himself that he was already unclean from the time he was a baby so it didn't matter. He thought stopping the apocalypse with his demon blood powers was the ultimate way to prove he was deserving when his worth was never ever tarnished by what Azazel did to him. That wasn't his only motivation, but feeling that he was "unclean" was part of it and it's something that comes back up for him later too. It's very tragic but season 4 is also one of Sam's most interesting seasons imo.

You might like:

Sam wanting to subvert the traditional monster movie hero/villain dynamic

Sam connecting with the magicians in Criss Angel Is A Douchebag

The demon blood depressing Sam's empathy

Zachariah pushing Sam to believe in stolen valor

Sam's resentment over everything that happened in season 3 and setting Dean up as a figure to rebel against instead of an equal

Lots of stuff about Sam's fixation on purity

[deadguywalkin]

seb+sam+alex hcs because i am STILL gay and extremely evil + some pre t seb hcs because… sigh

( sam+alex centric!! aside from the last part )

cw: dramatic switch from ‘yeah alex and sam are traumatized’ to ‘sam likes boobs’. that pretty much sums this up. (minimal nsfw and most of it is jokey)

jewelry:

alex: minimal. no rings or bracelets because they get in the way. ‘does sam’s pick count? c’mon, i’m an edgy boy too!!’

sam: medium. face piercings and some rings

sebastian: not actually that much, but he only wears silver. gothic necklaces of dragons on swords, silver rings, and the likes. maybe even a blood vial.

hands:

alex: missing his whole index finger?? big big hands with some little scars. engulfs whoever’s hand he’s holding.

sam: calloused fingers, tiny scars from hurting himself a lot on accident. he has very shaky hands. also has his little memory bands

sebastian: thin fingers and careful, steady hands. chipped black nail polish. there is more of a reddish tint on his knuckles.

—————

sebastian carries bandaids on him because sam is an idiot and alex is also an idiot (they’re not idiots they just have 0 spatial awareness)

alex wears sam’s guitar pick as a necklace. i refuse to draw him without it

alex carries their band equipment when sam whines about being too lazy to do it

seb never gets scared during horror movies or any horror experiences. however samalex are gripping onto each other like they’re about to die

alex cannot bear to watch super violent graphic stuff for obvious reasons. sambastian will always skip those parts ahead in movies for him because they already know. not that he can’t do it himself, but it’s just a small gesture.

alex is a huge ‘i’m sorry, did i do something wrong? I’m really sorry. you can tell me if i did.��� kind of guy when the vibes are off. he just has a fear of being useless or annoying and needs to be reassured.

sam needs to be reassured that he doesn’t have to always take care of everyone or constantly be the emotional support beacon. he also needs some support and to take a break!!

sam just has his best friends memorized by heart. ‘you were gonna ask abbie to hang out..? bro, don’t you know? she’s gonna have a headache tomorrow.’

sam has a habit of biting at his lips, ‘my mouth gets bored!

samalex are insanely emotionally intelligent, compassionate and understanding even if they’re not all there. they’re more tender and sweet when it comes to someone opening up and just know exactly what to say and what they need to hear.

on sebs end, he’s pretty bad at reading people and understanding everyone even if he’s smarter than the other two are. he’s quick to get it but doesn’t know how to comfort people and is more of a chill ‘oh.. that sucks, dude. me too, anyways, wanna light a blunt and talk about it?’ kind of guy

^^ he’s only good at that stuff when it comes to understanding books/movies/music. that’s where it’s over for samalex (sam aside from the music part

“what are you watching?”

“a 6 hour commentary video about sonic.exe”

“adventure time!!”

“black mirror.”

“oh..”

(sam has a short attention span but locks in when it comes to commentary videos about random niche shit)

pre-t trans seb down here

alex to pre top surgery seb: “c’mere.. stress balls”

post top surgery seb to alex: “c’mere.. stress balls.”

sam just enjoys having his face stuffed in boobs. doesn’t care wether they’re pecs ‘boobs’ or regular boobs.

seb is confident in his gender pre t or not. he’s more of a ‘i genuinely believe and know i am a man’ than a ‘i want to be a man’

..as confident as he is and as much as he loves them, he feels a slight resentment to samalex because he just feels this hint of jealousy and insecurity around them. they’re just such big representations of masculinity. it makes him feel a little sick that he feels that way because he knows he should love and appreciate them for being patient, he just can’t help it. he will find himself comparing them to him.

sebastian randomly showed up at sam’s house on a random night when he was younger and came out to him before he asked for help cutting all of his hair off. he already had his emo shag but ended up keeping it 

seb has a hard time remembering to take his binder off.. though it makes him feel better in his skin, his ribs are about to explode.

cuddling and then a hand just reaches up and.. squeeze (seb doesn’t even question it)

this ones a bit of a shorter dump;p

[elhopper1sm]

Unpopular opinion but I'm tired of people conflating queer media that doesn't appeal to them specifically with bad representation or queer media for straight people. Also queer media for straight people can be valuable. Because honestly yeah some mom who just found out her kid is queer who doesn't know many queer people or mentors to teach her how to navigate it would probably look to media. So queer media for straight cis people has a place. And secondly just because queer media doesn't appeal to you specifically doesn't mean it's for queer people. Like take Love, Simon for example. Everyone accused Becky Albertalli of writing a queer book to pander to a straight audience. Even though I a queer person loved it and I was out as queer by the time I had read it. The book is actually really good as a book and it actually has some for a YA novel written by a white author rather nuanced racial commentary. The movie Love, Simon had multiple queer people working behind the scenes and the movie literally helped inspire one of the leads Keiynan Lonsdale to come out . Yet people still accuse it of being for straight people. Why? Because it was fluffy and light hearted and followed the story of a white kid in the suburbs with a stereotypical American family. Because it didn't appeal to them. Even though many of the queer people I know personally said the "You get to exhale now" scene meant so much to them. Even though prior to even coming out as bi which she was pressured to do over the backlash of Love , Simon. She worked with gender non-conforming kids as a social worker and made sure to be mindful of the community. Even though she openly encouraged black actors to play her characters even if they were originally written as white in the books (she was quite happy that Nick who was originally white in the books was casted as black in the films). Even though she collaborated with multiple queer people behind the scenes. she still got accused of writing a queer book for a straight audience. I'm only using this as an example. Now some people are doing the same with Heart stopper simply because it's popular and queer even though the author is openly aroace. I don't care for Heartstopper that much personal but I find other Osemanverse works more compelling(like say Solitaire). But I've never put down people who do for not being queer enough. Or for enjoying gay content for straight people.

TL:DR - Just because a piece of queer media doesn't apply to you doesn't mean it's queer content for a straight cis audience and even then queer content for a straight cis audience has a place and does matter.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to use the TV?

I (26, NB) live with my parents (55+, M and F) and siblings (25+ assorted genders). I have a job and I don’t pay rent because it isn’t asked of me. I do pay for all of my own entertainment things like consoles and video games, and I like playing these games on the TV in the living room because my siblings have fun watching me/accepting me being bad at video games be background noise for whatever work they’re currently doing.

My mother does not like it when we use the TV. Ftr, she has control over the TV 16 hours out of the day, but doesn’t really watch anything. She’s not engaged in anything she puts on the TV, really. She’s either on her phone, watching TikToks, in another room doing something else without pausing her show, or just straight up asleep. But if we try to take the TV when she’s not engaged, she yells at us and throws tantrums for being rude to her; even if she lets us use the TV she will spend the entire day making passive aggressive comments at us for using it.

Note: when I say “we” this is because the three of us siblings all count as one unit even if we aren’t all engaged in what someone else has on the TV.

What’s weird is how hard we need to push to use the TV for maybe 2 hours/give a condition where she can ask us to stop when she wants a turn, and she can openly ask or give us a heads up like “can I have the TV in 30 minutes?”.

Sometimes we also ask her to turn the volume on her phone down/use her airpods because we’ll watch shows with tense scenes or get to climactic points in a game and our experience can be ruined if a tiktok starts blasting katy perry’s fight song (true story; completely ruined the true pacifist ending of undertale). She gets really mad about this, but we never play things at loud volumes on our phones (because we are scared at being yelled at) when she is ‘watching’ something.

So why might I be the AH? Well… she has a mobility disability and can’t really go upstairs to her room to do something else or go outside for a walk or anything, so I understand that this is basically the only thing she has in the way of a hobby… (I mean if you can really call binge watching hallmark movies a hobby.)

TLDR; mobility disabled mother controls the TV in the house’s only common area for 16 hours out of the day but doesn’t really have other means of engagement. AITA for wanting to use the TV to play games or watch shows with my siblings?

Additional info: we try to do things when she goes upstairs, but that tends to be near midnight on many days, so we don’t get to do much.

Sometimes she engages in what we’re doing, sometimes asking questions or giving commentary when I’m being bad at video games. She’ll even laugh and joke about it sometimes.

She is not interested in watching shows as a family and has no interest in trying any video games.

What are these acronyms?

[laroserie]

— character : Atsushi Nakajima - Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

— content : x gender neutral reader - polyamorous relationship between Atsushi, Akutagawa and Reader, reader is referred to as 'you'

— authors note : second writing for the second week of december - again publishing this on the deadline but it's fine ! hope you enjoy :)

— It was not surprising to learn that neither Akutagawa nor Atsushi ever did any of the typical holiday activities. It was expected, after all one was quite literally an orphan and the other … was Akutagawa. But as Christmas was coming, you thought 'why not have them experience it, this year ?'.

And it wasn't a bad idea, it was sweet and cute, maybe a bit cringe but who cared ? Well - Akutagawa did, you first tried to have them wear ugly Christmas sweaters that you had sew a few years back, Atsushi gladly accepted, he didn't care much that it was 'ugly', truthfully he found it somewhat cute.

But Akutagawa wasn't thrilled, when you handed him the sweater smiling and looking at him with hope filling you eyes and Atsushi next to you smiling too, - while wearing the sweat. He sighed and just said a simple 'no.'. A simple, cut and dry reject. He was not going to wear a stupid, ugly sweater.

Atsushi and you could beg him for decades, he still could not budge - or at least that's what he thought. Atsushi puppy eyes and you incessant whining, and preaching of holiday tradition made him break and he took, more like snatched, the sweater from yours hands and slides it on. But it wasn't without a few 'I will never wear this again.' and 'I can't believe I'm doing that'. He indeed, did that again, and maybe wore his sweater the most out of the three of you.

After the first step of your plan, 'Having Atsushi and Akutagawa experience the wonders of cringy stereotypical holiday shenanigans' was done, you decided to start the second one, which ultimately was one of the easiest one, simply watching those silly holiday movies while snuggling up in a ton of blankets.

You already did that, multiples time whenever your boyfriends schedules could permit it. It was just like a regular movie night, - expect with holiday ones !

And it was indeed easy, the hardest part was probably to listen to Atsushi and Akutagawa commentary about what the characters were doing and why it was stupid or bad or didn't make sense. But it wasn't that much.

What was really difficult was the third part of your so called 'plan'. Making gingerbread, not even a gingerbread house even if it was your plan at first, you realized quickly that making a gingerbread house with your two beloved could be probably impossible.

The two of them were not exactly great in the kitchen. One was very messy and ended up making a mess of everything and the other thought he knew better than the recipe itself.

It was fun to see them struggle and fuck everything up but having to be the one fix it up was a different story. Trying to stop Akutagawa from adding one too many eggs and telling Atsushi to be careful with the flour was energy draining. You couldn't complain much as you were aware of their kitchen related issues and still wanted to go with your plan.

At the end you all had fun - to some extent cleaning up everything was awful - and it was all that counted. And the gingerbread wasn't even that bad ! A bit too sugary, because Akutagawa insisted that there wasn't enough sugar in the mix but it was honestly okay.

And that make you come to the fourth and last step of your plan, decorating a Christmas tree, you took out of the attic your old Christmas tree as well as a box full of decorations and placed it in a corner of the living room in your shared flat. It a fun regular holiday activity that you thought could be very simple to execute, well wrong.

The two man had an interesting sense of decoration - Atsushi insisted on putting multiples bauble onto one singular branch of the tree and Akutagawa thought that intertwining multiples garland together. You didn't intervene or tried to change the way they decorated the tree but you couldn't help but ask if they were sure about it - to which they both answered 'yes'.

One thing they both agreed on what to put the star ornament at the top of the tree - probably because they saw it on multiples tree outside. And they gave you the honour of doing it, considering you were only watching them from the side while they worked on decorating the rest of the tree.

Once you finished putting up the ornament, you took a step back and looked at the tree, it was a overcrowded in some place and felt very messy but it was endearing.

[corvidmellow]

moved cause i genuinely hated thinking about my main LMAOO

anyways

welcome to my blog!!

here is where i post art i’ve made and reblog art i like!

i’m a traditional artist who usually uses alcohol markers for my colour work

…undertale and oc hell, sorry not sorry. the special interest is strong and underfell sans has had a vice grip on me since 2016

asks are open! feel free to bug me about my little shit characters or request a sketch

more under the cut

here's some stuff about me :D

favorite colour? cyan!

favorite genre of movie? horror!

favorite genre of music? ...quite literally everything. my liked songs is a minefield. rn i really like rage rap and swing though!

favorite song?

favorite musical artists? will wood, hozier, jhariah, do not resurrect, BABY GRAVY, pierce the veil, melancolia, deftones, kendrick lamar, tyler, the creator, nothing but thieves, etc.

favorite literature? oscar wilde my beloved (i left his book at home don't ask me trivia blease i just love him), biology, thrillers, societal commentary

fandoms? undertale (obviously), UTMV (obviously), homestuck, deltarune, the magnus archives/protocol (no spoilers pls), the arcana, marble hornets, creepypasta… sorry.

favorite aus? underfell!!!! though i am also very fond of understate, echotale, and sunnemona’s dreamtale!

gender and sexuality? am trans and some flavor of asexual idk. but i'm also the asexual who's posting pure filth on ao3 and will not shut up about being attracted to underfell sans and nightmare

my aus and fics, currently! (corvid_mellow on ao3)

-UnderHeist (unpublished)

-Veneraverse (unpublished)

-Death and Despair Multiverse (unpublished)

-FINAL GIRL (18+)

-Finis Via

-being so normal series (on hiatus)

-Should I Stay or Should I Go (on hiatus)

-The Cat and the Canary (under major reconstruction and hiatus LMAO)

-a surprise tool that will help us later (i need to finish my breakdown and analysis so i can start on my rewrite)

i consider myself to be somewhat ship neutral!

that being said, i don’t go through and block people for ships and stuff, and the less i think about it the better, BUT!! i am incredibly uncomfortable with incest and a lot of comships! whether that be fontcest, dreammare, frans, etc. sanscest is fine (id fuck an alternate version of myself, but never my siblings), but please don’t bring any of that onto my posts 🫶

also dni if you're any kind of queerphobic, racist, fatphobic, ableist, hateful in general, OR support the harassment of people over silly internet things. you really won’t like me anyways lmfao. i will be mostly avoiding fighting with people on this blog, so i'll just block you if i catch your ass being hateful in here. i do not tolerate the hate of those who have done nothing to deserve it.

#'s!

i tag my art with “steel arts”

reblogs are “steel bebloggin”

asks and text posts are “steel blogs” and/or “steel says stuff”

me being absolutely down bad (usually underfell sans) is “steel simpery”

my writing tag is “steel be writin”

the (hopefully) occasional drama is tagged with “interfandom drama oops”

aaaaaand my ocs are tagged with “[character name] posting”

i try to tag everything i reblog with important tags, and i don’t do politics here!!

love y’all :)

divider by @kodaswrld !!

[chadsuke]

let’s run through that full trans anime list (reposted privately) I was talking about earlier shall we:

wandering son - for better or for worse, THE trans anime basically ✅

onimai: now I’m your sister! - sure, i'm sure many found trans feels in the pedophile protagonist turned into a middle schooler by his younger sister, but I think the whole consistent sexualization of said protag and the inflicting of the author’s piss kink upon them (MIDDLE SCHOOL!!) should mean no one with a brain recs this one. I hate that I had to type this out. no promising words in this paragraph. ❌

Tokyo godfathers - yep we love hana. good rec. ✅

ranma 1/2 - op idc how much u wanted that curse and as much as I like trans ranma like. reccing this anime 2 someone who wants a trans anime??? no??? there are gender bender anime that I WOULD rec for trans shit and this is Not One ❌

blue period - yeah this one tracks as far as i know good rec ✅

fantasy bishoujo juniku ojisan to - THIS is a gender bender anime that’s a solid rec for trans shit. commentary on gender and the epitome of ‘something very lgbt happened to me’ ✅

that time I got reincarnated as a slime - idc how much gender envy the protag gives u that doesn’t make it TRANS, but I’ll give this one a pass bc like. there’s a bit of funky body stuff. I wouldn’t rec it for trans shit but it’s not like ‘why the hell is this here’ 👍

komi can’t communicate - there is an nb/‘ambiguous gender’ secondary character. haven’t watched myself so idk how much of a joke it’s played up to be but they are there ✅

stars align - I wish this anime got finished. yeah it’s trans. ✅

one piece - is this a fucking JOKE ❌

the little lies we all tell - yeah uh a guy being blackmailed by his sister to going to her all girls school so she can stalk an idol at his all boys school is very trans. /s ❌

your name - a BODYSWAP ROMANCE MOVIE IS NOT TRANS???? YOUR NAME IS NOT TRANS??? like… ❌

ouran high school host club - do i even need to say anything. it is 2024. why are we still genuinely reccing this one as an lgbt anime. 'some of the actions taken by characters can be problematic' okay. sure. yeah. ❌

to your eternity - the mc is a shapeshifter yeah who does take on female forms at time. there's a lil bit of gender shit i guess??? i'll put this as okay. ig. 👍

wonder egg priority - idk why you would rec an anime and go like 'ending was bad' but. sure. it does have a trans character. and an INFAMOUSLY bad ending. 👍

zombieland saga - yes!!! we have a trans girl solid rec. ✅

[dragon-sentinel]

I have already seen my fair share of

"Barbie is great because it teaches girls they can be hyperfeminine and pink and glittery etc. etc. and still be empowered. Barbiecore!! It has nothing to do with pleasing men. Men hate the movie, see?

Also, it's not bad if girls are taught to "have fun" with make-up from an early age on."

And I just get so tired. I wish people would understand the effects and the role of femininity (even the version that "supposedly does not revolve around men and is hated by them") in our larger cultural context and how femininity is part of a gendered hierarchy.

It does not exist in a vacuum and cannot be divorced from the damaging history of femininity's social function as a reinforcement of sexism, patriarchal dynamics and gendered hierarchies.

It doesn't just go away because of a fun movie.

Don't get me wrong. Barbie is a good movie and I am not saying it has no value or doesn't also teach women many good things.

But two things can be true at the same time.

Barbie can reinforce good messages (women can have great careers, STEM jobs, be successful, call out sexual harassment etc.) while also reinforcing harmful messages with regard to other cultural facets such as beauty standards, make-up culture and the alienation of women's natural faces (and this being pushed onto young girls too), fear of aging, having to embody a set of pleasing "aesthetics", wearing clothing/looks that can be unpractical restricting and demand lots of self-monitoring (increasing a woman's cognitive load because part of her attention always has to check whether her skirt didn't go up too high to prevent flashing her underwear, whether her make-up smudged, whether her hair is in place etc.) and spending lots of time, money and resources on beauty and fashion-related products and practices.

Those things ARE harmful femininity. And only because you think a subset of men don't like it doesn't mean it doesn't reinforce and teach these basic concepts of women being valued immensely for their decorative appearance.

(Also, more on that whole "men don't like these aesthetics" down belove because I think this claim also needs to be looked at with more nuance.)

These messages are not mutually exclusive. The same piece of media can absolutely provide very good commentary on one topic while giving bad commentary on another.

"But pink is just a color and there is nothing wrong with glitter."

I agree! But Barbie's aesthetics are the full package of femininity.

Because it is not just about glitter or about pink. Barbie's default isn't running around in pink sweatpants with a glittery oversized hoodie and purple crocs with messy hair and no make-up. Or some funny fantasy clown make-up.

Barbie generally looks conventionally stunning.

She wears carefully selected, perfectly designed beautiful and feminine outfits, styled through and through from head to toe.

And even if there is some ironic twist somewhere in the movie, its entire advertisment and PR are very explicitly focused on those hyperfeminine aesthetics.

Her event and PR outfits referencing iconic Barbie looks and the hyperfeminine aesthetics in trailers and promotional material to grab people's attention are a core part of their campaign.

That is also socialization. It still presents these things as attractive and desirable, as it reinforces that people should find these things appealing and direct their attention towards them.

I am aware that the movie also comments on body odor or cellulite.

I know it has moments like America Ferrera's monologue and I appreciate these things but this doesn't erase the rest of the aesthetic narrative of the movie, which does want you to enjoy and have fun with those pink hyperfeminine aesthetics. It is part of your viewing pleasure.

Despite the good points it makes it simultaneously also wants you to be positively and genuinely entertained by the aesthetics.

When it comes to this, the movie has an "eat your cake and have it too" mentality because they want to (rightfully) criticize some damaging expectations superimposed on women by feminine gender roles, i.e., femininity. But they clearly also want to keep others. They think some of them are not actually harmful but fun, empowering, even though a thorough look at the femininity they promote as worth keeping will uncover that they still have disadvantaging effects on women and keep crucial parts of the patriarchal hierarchy intact.

And in some regards their messages are even contradictory. Because on the one hand they do want to criticize unrealistic beauty standards (see Gloria's monologue) but at the same time even "self-centered" femininity, wanting to look good, feminine, pretty "for yourself", expressing your "identity" with a certain type of feminine fashion, still has the aforementioned mental and material effects (altered relationships with our bare faces because of make-up, even if your "eyeliner that is so sharp that it can kill a man, is for yourself and yourself alone", spending lots of time and money on restrictive clothing and make-up products, placing a significant amount of value on your looks, constantly monitoring your outward appearance).

As women we have learned to lie to ourselves and live with this cognitive paradox constantly.

"We don't need to shave. But we do it because we "want to", because even though "we don't have to" for some reasons we all collectively still think it is unattractive and unfeminine. But hey we "choose" to shave so it's different!

Aging is totally fine! Women are allowed to age! But at the same time we invest lots of time and money in anti-aging products and routines but this time under the guise of self-care. We don't have to of course. We are perfectly fine with wrinkles! It's just an (odd, collective) "personal" preference that the majority of women would still rather look youthful forever. But this time it's different! It's a choice!"

Materially we are doing the exact same thing that we are conditioned to do by patriarchal norms but thanks to the rhetoric of positive femininity, choice and personal preference we do not need to actually change our behaviour. We can let the words, the impressive-sounding monologues, do "the work for us" to absolve us, while our actions remain the same.

At the end of the day, the movie doesn't really deconstruct the entire cage of femininity, its roots, and all the aspects that harm women. Instead they reframe and rename some of the same things as a celebration of positive femininity.

But simply keeping something damaging in place and renaming it doesn't remove its negative material effects.

It just serves as a dazzling, soothing paint job to distract you and make you feel better about liking it, even if it doesn't serve you.

Hence, it's clear that the movie wants you to think that these aesthetics themselves are or can be, on some level, still fun and good.

(Again, that doesn't mean that it doesn't also promote good messages at other moments.)

And the public reception proves it. Otherwise we wouldn't have those aforementioned takes on how "Barbiecore is empowering because it doesn't revolve around men and "women-centered" hyperfemininity is good."

(Though it has to be noted that whereas pink and glitter are inherently neutral, they have been assigned certain meanings, hence when they are used they do serve as social signifiers and messengers for certain ideas. They are like a condensed proxy or short-form of femininity that quickly and efficently evoke certain gendered ideas in the viewer just by having them look at it.

I think sub-cultures are a good example: Goth and emo fashion for women is not considered attractive by many average people, including average men. And I am pretty sure most goths and emos would tell you they wear this kind of fashion for themselves, to express themselves and not to fulfill any gendered (mainstream!) expectations.

But. Within these scenes there are very often STILL very distinct differences in the type of fashion men and women wear. And oddly enough they often align more with traditional gender expectations than they like to admit (even the higher degree of androgynity in male fashion in those scenes doesn't undo those dynamics - the sexualization and pornification of women in those scenes is very prominent).

Funny. One might wonder why this is the case.

So you still have feminine, pretty, sexy, lady-like goth and emo girls who might not appeal to the general public's taste. But within the scene they very much appeal to that scene-related male gaze.

So the basics of femininity are still taught and lived.

And in addition, if for some reason a woman were to change her style and leave those scenes she might let go of her specific fashion sense but she will most likely take the basic teachings of femininity with her: that there lies immense value in her being decorative (for men).

I honestly think many women are in denial about the fact that yes, even their "self-centered" femininity benefits men as it consolidates certain tranditional gendered roles. And I also think that women are often taught to lie themselves (amongst others by liberal feminism) with regard to how much they actually appreciate men's positive attention and feedback (and I don't blame them for wanting those things, that's how we are socialized, even on purely platonic levels. As a lesbian even I notice how much I often value and unconsciously want positive (platonic or professional) feedback from men in particular. We as a society value men's opinions and attention deeply.)

Coming back to Barbie I think all of this can be applied as well.

First, just as with non-mainstream femininity in alternative scenes "Barbiecore" still teaches the same basic concepts of decorative femininity, encouraging many of the aforementioned damaging behaviours connected to femininity (money, time, resources, cognitive load, value of external attractiveness/appeal), even if women believe they do it for themselves.

And if a woman moves on from pink, glittery Barbiecore to another type of feminine fashion these fundamental values will probably remain with her. At best they have not been challenged by Barbiecore, at worst they have been reinforced, but this time under the pretense of "self-love", self-care or focusing on one's self, ostensibly not serving the male gaze.

Second, it is naive to believe that no man finds Margot Robbie's Barbie and her looks attractive in the movie (just like there are enough men who think unconventional, i.e., non-mainstream, displays of femininity like gothic/emo etc. are attractive).

Given Margot Robbie's attractiveness and the fact that beyond the pink color palette, Barbie's feminine fashion itself is not really "outrageous" (vs. some scene clothing) I wouldn't be surprised if the number of men who are attracted to her movie character is actually higher than the "men hate barbiecore" idea wants to make one believe. They may say they don't but in my opinion it's an act to save face and demonstrate ostensible superiority, just like when they call beautiful women "mid". (Also as we know men are very well willing to fuck what they hate; it's just another display of "dominance").

I am actually very convinced that there is a significant amount of men who would totally dig the very same looks she is sporting if her behavior was different.

I believe they hate her despite her good looks because her personality does not align with their gendered expectations of what a woman should be.

So out of spite, as a punishment, they call her and her aesthetics ugly and childish - because they know beauty is one of the things women are primarily valued for in our society, hence it's an effective target to attack.

If she kept the look but acted like a 50s house wive I'm pretty sure many men would openly say how they are attracted to her (and objectify her).

And even if a portion of men may find the focus on pink genuinely childish they can still like the overall femininity the look reinforces. If you kept the same outfit but changed the colors and removed the glitter it would still be the same basic type of femininity. So with regard to fundamental gendered concepts nothing is really challenged here.

So yes, I genuinely think men hating on "girly" femininity is a lot more aligned with the "Margot Robbie is mid" defense.

They are very clearly attracted to her but they try to paint themselves as not interested, as above that, to display their "superior status and power" over her, because they hate her as a person now. (Or use it as an attempted power play to make girls insecure and - as another post said it perfectly - withold beauty from women because women are taught it's their social currency; so if even women like Margot Robbie are relegated to "mid" they feel self-conscious and weak and will try to win the men's favor to receive their approval - and thus be granted some of that withheld beauty.)

In essence, I really don't buy that men don't actually benefit from "women-centered hyperfemininity" and that it is the looks that don't appeal to them as a class (obviously individual tastes vary).

I am not saying that everything that received the label "feminine" is inherently bad. Compassion and empathy come to mind of course and in an ideal world we might also have separated the harmless parts of the aesthetics (cute fabric patterns like flowers etc., soft but also relaxing and practical cothing) from the harmful practices that reinforce regressive gendered ideas and also lead to increased cognitive load, self-image issues (esp. regarding our bare faces), spending lots of time, money and resources on these things etc.

But we do not live in this ideal world.

We need to treat femininity as the thing that it is in the real world right now. It already has a meaning and this meaning won't be deconstructed by elevating all of it and saying that the harmful parts are actually empowering, too, which is what is happening with those celebrations of barbiecore and pink hyperfemininity.

Your celebration of femininity does not occur in a vacuum.

You cannot pretend the social context in which you do this simply doesn't exist because it spoils your fun and pretend it doesn't actually have any unfavourable consequences for women.

It does.

Gender is a hierarchy, in which femininity is an active tool to place women below men.

That is the reality we need to deconstruct.

-----

A little extra that just came to my mind:

The gothic lolita scene used to have (and perhaps still has) the same kind of rhetoric, too: "We do it for ourselves. Not to appeal to the male gaze. Men don't like this kind of fashion anyway." But a) this is clearly…not true. Gothic lolita, including the non-revealing styles (which make up most of the styles actually), is still popular and fetishized by certain groups of men, precisely because of its (distinct interpretation of) feminine appeal. And b) it still ingrains many core believes of classic femininity into women that transcend the fashion style and reflect accepted and desired ideas about feminine gender roles in broader society.

So the mindset of "doing something that is in line with our sexist society's expectations "for yourself", hence it's different and does not reinforce the same sexist ideals" that women often adapt is a common, recurrent cognitive strategy to justify these preferences to ourselves and others.

Barbiecore is therefore not unique and suddenly above reproach. On the contrary. It perfectly fits a commonly found pattern.

[borninwinter81]

All day gay goth Pride event!

Annoyed by how commercial Pride events have become, yesterday on the day of Pride in our city, two of my best friends (a gay couple, one of whom is also trans) who run a regular goth night called Last Rites decided to put on an alternative gay/goth all-dayer (they missed a trick, should have called it an all-gayer!), 3pm until 2am, with guest DJs.

There is no door charge so they never make any money from this, they do it purely because of the lack of goth and alternative music nights in our smallish city. As long as enough people turn up and buy drinks, the bar where it's held doesn't charge them anything, and the guest DJs were all friends of theirs who volunteered.

They're a very talented and generous couple, and often put out free gifts on the tables. One of them sometimes brings home-made Ouija boards that he prints onto bits of hardboard, and in honour of this event being for Pride he'd made them rainbow tinted.

The other one often hands out a zine that he writes and prints himself. It contains anything and everything that might be interesting to him. There are usually some music and book reviews (the books could be anything from esoterica to sociology, history or politics, he has wide ranging interests), but he usually includes some weird and funny/silly stuff too. I haven't read my copy yet, but my favourite thing about it right now is the balloon stapled to the front 😂

Again in honour of Pride you can see he's included a review of a book called "Bad Gays" by the authors of a podcast of the same name.

Here's the back which is an advertisement for their Pride event. The picture in the middle and the quote "do not fade, do not wither" are from the movie Orlando starring Tilda Swinton, based on the book by Virginia Woolf. As a young man Orlando is told that he must never become old.... so he simply doesn't. He lives from the Elizabethan to modern era, and during that time also wakes up one day transformed into a woman. It's a rather strange movie but very queer and with a lot of commentary on gender roles in society. I would highly recommend it. Worth watching for Tilda if nothing else! They had it playing on a TV screen in the bar whilst we were there 😁

We didn't have the stamina to be there the full day, but the few hours we spent were awesome! My personal highlight was when one of the guest DJs played "I Still Believe" from the movie The Lost Boys, and I realised I was dressed almost exactly like Star in that scene!