#bad life advice from kazzy

[kazoosandfannypacks]

today on "it's cheaper than therapy:" here's a great way to decompress when you're upset about something.

1. download this image:

2. When your mind feels heavy, open the image in an add-text-to-photo app and write out your thoughts and feeling and everything clouding your mind, then overlay it on the dark clouded portion of the image- in black text, so it's written, it's not deleted, but it's also not legible, so you aren't dwelling on it.

3. Insert something that makes you happy in the doorway on the bottom half, and put the name of said thing in between "omg" and "hi"

4. save meme and feel less sad!

example:

[dregstrash]

Sooooo @xan-drei created this beautiful piece of artwork featuring Jordie and Kaz. And I had added a little drabble to it because here’s my thought. Jordie lives, and finds out making money the honest way was impossible, and so he became a pirate and Kaz is still part of the Dregs. So calling it jordie lives au or pirate!jordie au or (more popularly known) thot!jordie

Also I had like a real life fic idea for this, but it got too long, and too serious. and thot!jordie is all about having fun

Edit: @wafflesandkruge made a great point to tag fellow thot!jordie enthusiasts. that was a big my bad: @dirtyhandsnet @reapersbarge @zemenipearls  @legolasofmirkwoodforest

Kaz hated the summer.

There were too many people in the streets. It took longer for the night to truly set in. The sun was always beating down on his suit, seemingly cooking him from the inside out. And oh yeah--

“Kazzie! Happy Summer Solstice!” Jordie’s voice reached him as he entered the Slat, and he didn’t have to look at his brother to know just how many pairs of eyes were clinging to the charming, dashing pirate that Kaz had the misfortune of being related to.

“If you insist on staying here,” Kaz replied blandly as he made his way to the staircase, “You might want to learn how to button a shirt up properly.”

His brother’s laugh was grating, and as Kaz passed by the ogling crowd of Jordie’s admirers, a soft thump hit the back of his head as his brother’s shirt fell innocently on the floor.

Finally, he turned to glare at Jordie, and he just winked back in return, “Maybe you could show me, oh great Button Master.”

The Dregs around them were too terrified of Kaz to laugh outright, but he could still see the mirth dance in their eyes. Anger flared at Kaz’s temples, and if he hadn’t caught sight of Inej’s shadow at the top of the stairs he was sure that the next move would have involved that same shirt around Jordie’s neck.

He took a deep breath, and whacked the two boys whose eyes were glued to the man in front of them with his cane.

Jesper and Wylan yelped in pain. Jesper cursed him, while Wylan’s face turned the exact shade of his hair.

“Now, if you two are done ogling. Pick your jaw off of the floor. We have  a job.”

“All work and no play makes for a bitter man, Kazzie!”

His brother’s voice carried all the way up the stairs and Kaz started to feel a headache beat on his brow.

“Treasure family while you have them, Kaz.” Inej’s cool voice greeted him in the entrance of his room, and under normal circumstances he would have loved to poke a little fun at her unwarranted advice. But these weren’t normal circumstances.

Three weeks since the weather started to warm up and already he’s had to deal with his nuisance pirate of a brother.  If it was just the barging in when he was in the middle of running numbers, and scattering all his work, or pestering him when he was doing his rounds, or calling him Kazzie every moment he could, it might have been manageable. But it wasn’t just that.

Too many times has he had to forcibly kick his brother out of his own damn room with a willing companion.

(“You have your own saintsforsaken ship!”

“Your office was more convenient.”

“It’s on the third floor!”

“Listen, Kazzie, in the heat of a moment, when two people--”

“Get out, Jordie. Before that ship of yours becomes driftwood in Fifth Harbor.”)

Too many times has he had to whack any number of his Dregs over the head when he was trying to explain the necessary rotations and positions of the guards for their next score, and their attention had drifted to his brother who was too loud as usual when he came to the Barrel with the rest of his crew and a fresh keg of liquor.

(“We have work to do!” Kaz had fumed.

“And I need to get rid of this contraband before setting out again. This was from a private label from a brewery in the Shu Han. If I was caught with it, they could charge me for piracy. They’d hang me!” His brother had teased with the scar on his cheek winking mischievously, as his crew began to laugh with Kaz’s gang.

“It’s either the Shu or me, brother.”)

Too many times has he had to pretend not to hear or notice the people that whispered behind his back when he walked around his own damn home

(“No, Jordie’s definitely the better looking one.”

“Only when he has a beard, then my vote’s for Dirtyhands.”

“You're less likely to get murdered with the pirate anyway.”)

“We have work to do, Inej.” He snapped as he stepped into his room, “I have no interest in treasuring anything that doesn’t have Ghezen’s face stamped on it.”

“You always take the fun out of everything, Brekker.” Jesper sighed behind him as both he and Wylan settled around his room, ready for their assignments.

Kaz’s grip tightened on his crow cane, and took three seconds to breathe. His brother was a thorn on his side, but he won’t get to him. He was a businessman. He could act professional.

“The Razorgulls are planning to hit one of our--”

“Inej is that a new shirt?” Jesper interrupted.

“Wh-what are you--”

Kaz’s gaze snapped to his Wraith, and unfortunately, she was indeed wearing a new shirt. It was a soft lavender cotton shirt with bits of embroidery lining the color and the sleeves. The color accented the richness of her brown skin and provided a nice contrast to the dark braid over her shoulder.

“You buying that wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with a certain charming pirate downstairs, would it?” Jesper laughed.

Inej’s cheeks flushed, and despite Wylan’s silence, Kaz noticed the forming of a smile in his eyes.

“We don’t have time for this.” Kaz grit out. “Now, we have to--”

“Kazzie, I need to borrow--” Jordie burst in the room, “Oh, hey everyone, sorry to interrupt. But--”

Without thinking, Kaz strode across the room and slammed the door in his brother’s face.

He really hated summer.