#bad brains sabbatical

[paperclips37]

I am already enjoying my week off from work.

So enjoy another little snippet of Mel being a sexy photo expert.

-----

‘Okay I’ve been helping Samira take photos.’ She blurted out. Wincing at how loud she was. ‘Sexy photos.’

Frank swallowed heavily still quiet. His knuckles turning white against the glass.

(A part of Mel’s brain began panicking that Frank was one of the many who assumed that she was Sexless.)

(Anyone but him please.)

‘Oh.’

‘Abbot was dragging his feet.’ Frank huffed a laugh at that. Mel ignored the implication and ploughed on. ‘So I suggested Samira make a move.’

‘A photo.’

‘Started small obviously just casual but excellent shots. Then... progressing as time moved on.’

‘To....’

‘More suggestive ones.’

Samira was going to murder her.

Frank swallowed again. Her phone lying between them felt like a beacon, or a bomb. Did Frank like Samira? Mel had never seen anything of the sort between them. Then again Mel wasn’t exactly the most clued in to sexual attraction at the best of times. All her previous partners had had to be explicit with her. I want to have sex with you blunt. Which was good. Why couldn’t people say what they wanted? The games and implications were a minefield.

Another reason why Mel didn’t date much.

(Most people were too messy and not patient enough for her.)

‘Suggestive. Suggestions.’

‘Yeah. She asks for ideas or to see if hers are any good.’

‘She sends you the photos?’ Frank blinked rapidly at her. This was new. Frank was a known non blinker. Mel had in fact tried to track his blink rates during some conversations.

(He’d found it hilarious when she’d show him her count.)

‘Peer review.’ It had become a joke between her and Samira. Mel was very good at peer review after all.

(He had this look on his face. Mel cannot figure it out.)

‘Seriously?’ His voice sounds weird. Not bad. Deeper than usual? A thrum of heat flicked at Mel and it has nothing to do with the heat in the August air.

‘A second set of eyes is always helpful for these things.’

‘Fuck.’

‘What?’ Frank was barely speaking. Silted sentences and one words responses and Mel is getting increasingly confused. And worried.

This isn’t how they communicate. Frank was one of the few who had learned innately how to communicate best with her.

(He was the first.)

Never speaking down to her or getting irritated with her overly literal way of thinking. Even enjoying her view of the world. Somehow he’d even adapted his off beat humour to sync with her. Walking through his (very weird) jokes until she got it like it had been his style all along.

(It definitely wasn’t.)

Mel needed clear words and no implications. Honesty always worked for her.

When she’d returned to The Pitt for her next shift and found him gone it had hit twice as hard as the day before. Asking Robby gently when he was coming back. Getting nothing but an angry grunt which had Mel panicking she’d done something wrong.

Abbot had been the one to take her aside and explain that Langdon was taking a sabbatical due to personal issues. His eyes gentle and worried.

All of Santos’s questions had hit home for Mel.

Oh.

(Her heart broke for him.)

That July 4th when he’d walked through the door as though marching towards his execution. More tired than she’d remembered but clearer.

(There had been a moment she’d panicked that the only reason he’d understood her was the benzo’s)

But he’d spied her and grinned so broadly his face looked like it was about to split open.

‘You’re here!’ Her words from her first day echoing back at her from him.

(It had felt like home.)

Frank coughed again. Taking a sip of his coke. Clearly trying to work out what to say.

‘Do... do you-’ For the first time in a long time it seems that Frank is unable to keep eye contact with her.

(It feels cold.)

‘What?’

‘Reciprocate?’

‘Not really. It’s more if I have an old one that fits what I’m suggesting I show her that. We’re not exchanging photos per say. We’re just friends. I’m offering her advise. Nothing more.’ Frank face did that thing it did when he was trying to work out a diagnosis. Eyes narrowing but never quite closing. His mouth slightly open and Mel didn’t examine how nice his lips look. Nope. She wasn’t used to that face been aimed directly at her. Like she was a puzzle he was trying to work out.

‘Oh. Wait.... an old one that fits?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’ve sent people...’

‘Explicit and spicy photos? Yeah. Who hasn’t? I’ve never shown my face so that’s safe.’ Mel curled up on her seat, sipping at her rapidly warming drink. Wrinkling her nose at the lukewarm liquid. Frank continued to sit there completely flabbergasted. She didn’t get his reaction. It was fairly common in this day and age.

‘Is it really that shocking to you?’ Mel allows herself to sound peeved with him. For the first time she was feeling small around him. It wasn’t a good feeling. ‘I am an adult Frank.’

‘What? I know that! Believe me I am fully aware of that.’ That flame burns just a little brighter inside her. She can feel her shorts sticking to her a little more.

Franks face is a mixture of things that Mel again can’t quite figure out. Typically when someone was unreadable Mel would be so nervous she’d done something... Well inherently Mel. That uniqueness that it seemed most people couldn’t handle. Frank never had that issue with her. He always took the time to talk things out with her. But there’s too much in his face, his body language and he isn’t explaining.

‘Then why are you so surprised? It’s like Santos assuming I was a sexless virgin all over again.’ Mel pouts and stares out at the sky. Hunching over herself. Frank spluttered, nearly knocking his coke over.

‘She what??? Is she fucking blind?’ He’s telling the truth. Mel knows. Since he came back on July 4th she’s gotten to know him as well as she’s known anyone. Like he can’t really get moving in the morning until he’s downed a red bull. He prefers black tea to coffee. He is absolutely obsessed with reddit stories that are clearly fake. It’s such entertaining writing Mel! The fact that he always texts his kids at the start and end of the day so they bookend whatever he is doing. He’s a non fiction reader, but adores fiction podcasts. On learning that the King sisters know ASL-

(When Becca was younger and overwhelmed she’d preferred sign language. On a bad day she’ll revert back. Those were fewer and fewer as time went on.)

-Frank had immediately gone to get lessons.

Therapist recommended learning new skills. Also imagine the things I could sign behind Robby’s back!

He was even teaching Tanner and Taylor little things.

(Glitter was their favourite. Because it was Becca’s and Mel’s favourite sign.)

[mickules]

~The answer may surprise you~ take a peek below!👀

The answer is 6) the secret was that it was All of the Above! 🎉

Consider this as a bit of a life update!

I don’t usually do this sort of thing, but as it’s such a big switch up I wanted to give a bit of a heads up. I don’t plan on disappearing, but it might be inevitable for a little while whilst I keep on top of things!

Firstly I’m moving country! Temporarily! I’ve taken a sabbatical from work so I can pursue some personal things whilst I still have the ability to do so, and whilst I have the savings for it, and as you can imagine! It’s! Stressful! They certainly haven't made it easy, but once all the wheels are in place it should be fantastic

I also have several art commitments; none of which I can really talk about yet, but all of which might take up a significant amount of my time (sob) Hopefully when I’m done I’ll be able to show yous!

On top of that I am looking forward to working on some longer dangan comics as well as animations (!) I’ve had on the backburner for like YEARS!

I’m also possibly going to look into maybe doing some commission work to tide me over – My brother has been tryna get me to do keyrings and things, so that’s another thing I’m mulling about.

You may have noticed I’ve closed my ask box, it’s been ages since I’ve been able to keep on top of them, but I’m hoping that I’ll get the chance once I’m settled in to actually go through them proper, I hate leaving them unanswered and I appreciate every single one, I've been spoiled with so many wonderful lovely messages 💖

Unfortunately I’m something of an insulated offline creature so keeping up with messages and comments takes a lot of my brain power which is usually too depleted once I’ve gotten home after work.

I do sit like this whilst I draw. I deserve everything that's coming to me.

I do have a danganranpan inspired tramp stamp, connected to the rest of my back tattoo

I’m not gonna show you.

You’re just gonna have to believe me.

I have a bad habit of slapping dethklok albums on repeat when I wanna pump up my energy for chores, I think I bolloxed my neck to Hatredcopter?

Fingers crossed for everything coming up and I hope I’ll have lots of things to share with yous soon!

[capseycartwright]

i find your name, etched behind the frame

Buck had always felt like he belonged, in Eddie’s house. It was one of the things Eddie had noticed, right away, when they’d become friends – Buck had just felt like he belonged, right from the beginning, his spare sneakers next to Eddie’s own on the rack, Eddie’s wardrobe filled with Buck’s clothes, half the ingredients in the kitchen bought by Buck. He was such an integral part of their lives, and Eddie wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way.

He didn’t want it to end.

coda for 8x09.

ao3 link

Eddie knows, logically, that it’s the tequila that’s making his brain feel fuzzy, but there’s a part of him that still blames it on how messy his head feels even when he’s sober – moving to Texas, all the life admin and decisions that come with that decision, it had been completely overwhelming, and Eddie’s brain sort of felt like soup, most days. The tequila was mostly to blame today, though. 

They’d gone to one of Eddie’s favourite restaurants in LA, a tiny, hole in the wall Korean place that Chimney had introduced him to that he’d miss when he was back in El Paso, and they’d followed that up with a trip to a painfully hipster cocktail bar that Buck and Hen had worked hard to convince them was worth a visit – it was instagrammable, which Eddie didn’t like, but he had to admit they made one of the best margaritas he’d had in a while. 

Bobby had driven them home, a fond look on his face as he made his stops – Hen, first, and then Chimney, and finally Eddie’s. Bucks? Buck and Eddie’s? Eddie wasn’t sure, yet: the sublease didn’t start for another two weeks, but Buck already spent nearly all of his time at Eddie’s place, so it had only felt natural for them both to be dropped off at Bedford Street, Buck humming under his breath as Eddie struggled with the keys. 

“You’re not being very helpful,” Eddie grumbled, when he missed the keyhole again. He wasn’t that drunk. He didn’t think he was, at least – but he wasn’t sure if they’d ended the night on five, or seven margaritas, so his judgement was somewhat impaired. As was his vision, apparently. 

“You’re not my landlord yet,” Buck teased, sticking his tongue out at Eddie in response to the glare Eddie shot his way. He took the keys from Eddie’s shaking hands, somehow managing to get the door unlocked, tripping over his own feet as he stumbled inside.

Buck had always felt like he belonged, in Eddie’s house. It was one of the things Eddie had noticed, right away, when they’d become friends – Buck had just felt like he belonged, right from the beginning, his spare sneakers next to Eddie’s own on the rack, Eddie’s wardrobe filled with Buck’s clothes, half the ingredients in the kitchen bought by Buck. He was such an integral part of their lives, and Eddie wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way.

He didn’t want it to end.

He wasn’t ready for it to be ending. It was as if LA had been a brief sabbatical from the life that his parents were determined to have him life – he had his seven years of fun, in California, and now he was having to go back to Texas, to El Paso, to the place he had never felt like he was able to be truly himself in, and his parents were getting exactly what they wanted: Eddie, back on their doorstep, Christopher, living with them, Eddie proven to be a bad parent. 

“Incoming,” Buck half yelled, Eddie reaching out on instinct to catch the water bottle his best friend was throwing his way. 

“No beer?” 

Buck shook his head, slumping on the couch, his jacket tossed aside. It was new, Eddie noted – the denim had been soft, underneath Eddie’s fingertips as they’d hugged, earlier. “We need the water,” he hummed, chugging half the bottle in one go. “We had a loooooot of tequila.” 

Eddie shuffled toward the couch, deliberate as he sat down close to Buck, not wanting to leave an inch of space between them. He wanted to soak up as much of Evan Buckley as he possibly could, while he could – two more weeks wasn’t enough time to enjoy every good thing about Buck. He was – he was the best friend Eddie had ever had, and he was going to miss him in ways he was struggling to understand, or articulate. 

Leaving Buck felt like leaving behind a part of himself.

Buck let out a happy noise as he looked around. “I’m glad, that a stranger isn’t going to move into your house,” he admitted. “I – I like it here,” he looked embarrassed, as he made the admission, his cheeks pink – though, Eddie supposed, that could be blamed on the tequila too. 

Eddie looked around the living room, drinking in the view. This was the first house he’d ever really gotten to decide for himself. He’d grown up in a house that couldn’t really be called a home, his parents’ expectations a weight he had been forced to carry too young. He and Shannon had lived on-based, in military housing, which was frankly soulless. 

His little house on Bedford Street was the first house he’d picked out for himself, and for Christopher. He’d fallen in love with it for the natural light, the way the kitchen was bright in the mornings, sunny as he drank his morning coffee and watched as Christopher ate his breakfast. The living room was always warm, cosy as Eddie watched whatever documentary Buck had picked out for them, feet shoved under the thick, soft blanket Buck had insisted on buying him as he recovered from getting shot. 

Even his bedroom finally felt like his – put back together with Buck’s help, the walls painted a warm cream, Buck having bullied him into buying expensive linen sheets, and finally hang some décor on the walls. 

This was his home – and he was leaving it.

“Eddie,” Buck’s voice was soft, concerned. “You’re crying.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie couldn’t hide it, the tears rolling down his cheeks. “I don’t want you to think it’s been easy for me, to decide to leave,” he looked at Buck, his best friend’s look of concern clear even through Eddie’s tears. “I wish I didn’t have to go.” 

“I know,” Buck reassured. “God – Eddie, I know, I know you have to go, and I’m sorry I’ve made it all about me, lately.” 

“I’m sorry I said that,” Eddie shook his head. “You have – you’ve got every right to be upset, Buck. I would be, if I were in your shoes.” 

“I just – this, your house, with you and Christopher – it’s the first time in my life I feel like I’ve had a place where I belonged,” Buck admitted, and oh, if that didn’t make Eddie want to stay – wish he could stay. “I know I’m a bit of a stray dog, but you and Chris adopted me, all those years ago, and I just – I wish everything could stay the same, forever.”

“You’re not a stray dog, Buck – don’t talk about yourself like that,” Eddie always hated the way Buck was so easily cruel to himself, dismissing his own feelings, making a joke out of the ways he was hurting. Buck never treated himself with the same kind of love, and kindness he treated everyone around him with, and he deserved that – to be treated with love, and kindness. 

“I am, a bit,” Buck hummed. “But it’s okay. I’m sure I’ll find a good owner one day,” he joked, and oh, if Eddie didn’t want to beg for that to be him, for Buck to make his life with Eddie, to stay forever, here, in their perfect home on South Bedford Street. 

But he couldn’t – he couldn’t say all of that, and ask Buck to wait, not when Eddie needed to leave, he needed to get his son back. It wouldn’t be fair to Buck. Buck deserved better – he deserved more. He deserved better than Eddie, who was too scared to admit how he really felt, who was too afraid to ask for more than what he had. 

Eddie didn’t deserve Buck, but Buck was still the one coming home with Eddie – to a house that had become theirs, over the years, in every way except on paper – and now even that was solved, Buck’s chicken scratch signature on a sub-lease contract, a promise that the home that had given Eddie so much was in safe hands. The safest hands he knew – Evan Buckley’s. 

“I have to be with Christopher,” Eddie said, helpless. He had to be with his son. He’d missed out on so much of Christopher’s life already, he didn’t want to miss out on even more – even if that meant going back to El Paso, the one place he’d vowed he was never, ever going to willingly move back to. 

“I know,” Buck said, slumping slightly, so he could rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder, the kind of easy affection Buck so freely gave – with everyone, but with Eddie, most of all. “You’re doing the right thing, Eds. You’re a really good dad.” 

And a terrible best friend. 

“I’m going to come back,” Eddie sounded determined, even to his own ears. “I am, Buck. I want to come back to LA, with Christopher.”

Buck made an agreeable noise. “That’d be nice.”

Eddie knew Buck didn’t entirely believe him – and he couldn’t entirely blame him for that, either. Buck had been left behind so many times in his life, of course this just felt like it was happening all over again, with Eddie doing the leaving this time. 

Leaning his head against Buck’s, Eddie let himself sink into the couch, the combination of alcohol and pure tiredness making his eyes heavy. He almost wanted to force himself to stay awake, to soak in every second he had left with Buck like this, but tiredness was winning out over his own stubbornness – like it was for Buck, if his best friend’s slow, easy breathing was anything to go by. 

Slowly, selfishly, Eddie allowed himself to curl into Buck’s side, Buck a study, safe presence beside him. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, Buck,” he admitted, Buck’s soft snores the only reply he got – and well, maybe that was for the best, because he wasn’t sure even Evan Buckley had the answers, this time. 

[allieslittlewritings]

*not my gif <3

Baby Girl

Summary: Spencer getting a baby daughter

Set in: Season 13-14

Warnings: Spoilers for seasons 8-13 of Criminal Minds, vague mention of abortion, bad writing, an oc!mom

Word count: 900-1k

A/n: I've never posted a fic before so if this sucks and nobody sees it I'm sorry <3

★

Spencer always thought in an ideal world, he would have children.

He never bothered to think of how many, knowing that would be more up to his future wife than to him.

He'd always just assumed he'd get married before having children one day.

After everything that had happened to him, Maeve dying, going to prison, the shit Cat had pulled, finding out his mom had Altzheimer's, and everything else that was certainly less than ideal, he'd started to think more and more that he simply wasn't meant to be a dad.

When a girl he'd only gone on a few dates with, months ago, told him she needed to talk to him, he was confused.

Emma was a nice girl, they just didn't fit well together so their relationship didn't last long.

She'd asked him to meet her at a random coffee shop.

He had the idea of her being pregnant for one second before he convinced himself that was ridiculous.

He entered the coffee shop Emma had chosen and went to sit accross from her.

Some boring small talk followed about how their careers and lives were going.

"Spencer, I'm pregnant," Emma finally blurted out, clearly nervous.

Spencer had heard a lot of radicalizing things in his life.

A lot of unexpected things had happened to him. In his line of work, a lot of things altered his perspective and way of thinking.

This one was different.

"You're..." he trailed off in shock.

"Look, I'm gonna be honest, I don't want the baby, but I'm too far along now to get an abortion. I'm about to start looking for potential adoptive parents, but I thought maybe you'd want input on who it goes to, too."

As muddled and confused as Spencer's brain felt, he immediately replied, "No. I'll take it. I mean, I'll take care of it. Of the baby."

"Are you sure you want to do that? You've already got a lot on your plate..." She pointed out.

"I'm sure," he said softly, without an ounce of hesitation.

★

Spencer was in an odd haze everytime he remembered he was about to become a parent.

He knew it wouldn't be easy, taking care of a child and having such a demanding job.

But he also knew he could never live with the knowledge that he had a child somewhere and they're not with them.

If they're with him, he can keep them safe.

He could make sure his child didn't grow up alone, like he did.

★

Spencer and his baby's mother sat quietly in a waiting room.

Spencer was attending his first ultrasound.

He sat, in thought.

A nearly empty cup of coffee in his right hand.

His lip was being lightly picked at with his left.

He took one last sip of his coffee and went to throw the now empty cup away.

His sweaty hands were starting to annoy him.

The restless feeling wouldn't go away.

Emma's name was called and the pair went into the ultrasound room.

Spencer picked at his fingers as he watched Emma and the ultrasound tech set everything up.

Lost in thought, he didn't hear any of the little things the women talked about.

Everything in him froze when he heard it.

A heartbeat.

His baby's heartbeat.

"So, would you like to know the baby's gender?" the doctor asked.

The women looked at Spencer, waiting for an answer.

He stood dumbfoundedly, staring at the grainy image of his baby on the moniter.

Their heartbeat still the loudest, best thing he'd ever heard.

"Spencer?" Emma gently nudged him.

Spencer finally snapped out of his haze and quickly wiped away a stray tear rolling down his face.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" the doctor asked again.

"Uh, no. No, I want it to be a surprise." His eyes remained on the moniter, he couldn't pull his eyes away from it.

★

Spencer prepared for the day Emma gave birth as best he could.

He was actually grateful for his sabbaticals now, it gave him a lot more prep time.

He read about a hundred books on labor and childbirth.

And give or take twice as many on actual parenting and child care.

He did as much research as humanly possible.

But one thing he'd learned over the years, was no matter how much research you do or how many books you read, the actual topic you're researching and preparing for is never quite the same.

★

His anxiety in the last few weeks before the baby came skyrocketed.

Worry overtook him nearly every minute of the day.

What if he hasn't done enough?

What if there's something important that slipped his mind?

What if he'll actually be a terrible father and he'll mess up the best thing to ever happen to him?

What if he-

"It's a girl!" the doctor announced.

Much like when he heard his daughter's heartbeat for the first time, he froze.

A girl.

He had a daughter.

She was here.

He watched as the doctors and nurses scurried around doing things, to make sure his baby was well and healthy.

His baby.

He had a baby.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Covered in blood and vernix, his daughter.

Her loud, very infant-like cries filled the room.

Not a new sound to the doctors, they continued with their routine work.

It was the most grounded Spencer had felt in months.

She was here.

His baby was here and she needed him almost as much he needed her.

★

Spencer tiredly rubbed his eyes, the wide range of emotions from the day catching up to him.

He walked tiredly to the room where Y/N was, a hint of confusion on his face.

The exhaustion was evident in his posture and his droopy eyes.

But now was not the time to sleep, he was walking to go be with his daughter.

He entered the room she was in and sat down in a chair next to the basin his baby lay in.

"Hi," he whispered to her, gently resting his hand on her tiny stomach.

His baby gurgled and looked up at him with big eyes.

A tired smile graced his face as he gently stroked his daughter's head.

He could stay there forever.

Just him and his daughter.

She was the most the beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"We're gonna be okay, aren't we?" He quietly asked her.

His baby gripped his finger with her hand, continuing to quietly make baby noises.

"Yeah. We're gonna be okay."

fin. ♡

[creadigol]

I wanted to write a civilian story and this is what came out of my brain. I hope y’all like!

Warnings: Mentions of a violent encounter with a pretty creepy bad guy. 

The body floated, bobbed one might say, aimlessly in the expensive botanical garden’s pond. With the amount of algae in the water it was a wonder Civilian had seen the thing at all, let alone recognize the figure. 

But recognize the figure they did… and it made the horrific sight all the more terrifying. 

Civilian bit back a scream as the bloated body floated closer to them. 

Bloated…that meant the body had been in there for at least a day right? At least that’s what all those cop shows said…Civilian was a historian, not a doctor…oh god it was getting closer!

Civilian clutched their messenger bag close to their chest and backed away from the pond. Five minutes…five minutes was all it took to scar them for life. Five minutes to change everything Civilian thought they knew about their gracious hosts at the historic hotel. 

God, they were such a fool. 

They had their suspicions. Of course they did, but when  the opportunity came to stay at the very place they had spent years researching came up…there was no question. They had a sabbatical coming up anyway, where better to have it than on the actual location? 

But now…

The body was face down, but it was no question who it was, and who had done this. Villain had been threatening the Senator for months, it was all over the news. But how did Villain know the Senator was staying in this specific hotel in England? Hell, why was Civilian’s timing so terrible?! 

There was a rustling in the bushes to their right. Civilian whipped their head around hoping against hope that the sound was the normal squirrel or bird one would find in a botanical garden. 

The rustling stopping as soon as Civilian looked over. They caught a glimpse of something metallic reflecting the sun…so, not an animal then.

Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. 

Maybe Civilian could play it off as if they saw nothing? Just glance away and find the path back to the hotel where there was a cell signal and they could call for help. That was good, now they just needed to look away.

 Shit, why were they so frozen? 

They slowly edged backwards towards the tan gravel path. Civilian couldn’t help but keep looking at the bush, waiting for whoever was in there to strike. As soon as they had made it three steps a deep voice rang out from the shrubbery,

“Got somewhere to be? You only just got here.” 

Civilian turned and ran. 

They ran faster than they ever had in their life. Their feet pounded on the gravel with as much force as their heart pounded against their rib cage. In their hast they couldn’t find it in their throat to scream for help. Help from someone, anyone. 

Their running wasn’t fast enough. 

A hand grabbed the back of their messenger bag and yanked them back. Civilian choked on air as their back viciously hit the ground. A knee was on their chest and a hand over their mouth as soon as their body was down. 

“Now, now love. All I need is a little chat about what you just saw. No need to be so on edge.” The man on top of them wore a dark mask and his leather gloves smelled against Civilian’s face. The man’s silver watch periodically glinted the reflection of the sun with each spasm Civilian experienced.

They frantically tried to claw the hand off their mouth, tears already leaking from their eyes, and they kicked their legs out trying to dislodge the attacker. Their struggle, though, quickly stopped as the other hand yanked their head back by their hair at an angle which promised death if they struggled too hard. 

“None of that now,” the low voice said. A voice that Civilian did not recognize. “I don’t want to kill you yet. There’s still some things I need from you.” 

Yet.

Yet. 

The word made new panicked tears come to civilian’s eyes. Their sobs were stifled by the rank leather that gripped tighter around their mouth. 

“That’s a good one. Now, tell me, did you tell anyone where you were headed on this fine morning?” 

Civilian froze. Wide eyes staring at the two eye holes the mask provided. What should they say? What would buy them more time? They could lie and say they had told someone they were going for a walk…but would that put someone else in danger? The moment the attacker knew Civilian was alone with no travel companion they would break their neck or drown them in the pond like the senator, they were sure…

“I can tell you didn’t,” the mask lifted a bit at the edges indicating a smile beneath. “Your eyes say it all. No one knows you’re out here then, hm?” 

Civilian tried once more to push the man off, but his grip only tightened and he leaned more of his weight on his knee. Civilian’s chest ached. 

“That’s a yes. You should never play poker my friend. You have every tell in the book.” 

Civilian only cried more. 

“You and the Senator were getting pretty close last night. Anything he told you that you wish to share?” 

Pretty close? Civilian had only spoken to him for part of the evening about the hotel’s architecture. The senator had found it fascinating that Civilian could tell what year each part of the hotel was built based on the shape of the windows. It was nothing special…but that meant this masked man was at the party last night, watching them. 

Civilian was going to throw up. 

The hand eased a bit off their mouth, now just hovering over. Civilian’s choked sobs immediately sounded. 

“Come on now, just tell me what you know and this will go as smoothly as I can make it. That’s quite nice of me, isn’t it?” 

“I…” Civilian stuttered through the panic, “I…don’t know what you mean.” 

“Of course you do,” The hand gripping their hair pulled even more, causing Civilian to choke on a gasp. “I know you’re a smart one. You’ve seen the news. Did the Senator tell you anything about making a deal?” 

What? What did that even mean? They spoke about windows for fucks sake!

“No…no…we were…” They huffed out a sob that they couldn’t hold back. 

“You were what?” The hand that hovered over their mouth now clamped on their throat. Just tight enough to cause pain. 

“Windows,” Civilian cried. “We were talking about the windows.” 

“Windows?” The man questioned. 

“I…you can tell a lot about a building through its windows…I’m writing about the hotel…” 

The man interrupted them with a laugh. The hand on their hair loosened and Civilain’s head was no longer forced back. 

“Windows,” the man chuckled. “Fucking windows…and here I was worried.” 

The hand started to card through their hair in an oddly intimate gesture. 

“Sorry mate,” said the man with nonchalance. “Wrong place, wrong time I guess. Pity too, you’re sorta cute.” 

The hand on their throat suddenly clasped and Civilain’s eyes blew wide as the man leaned down and placed both hands on their neck to squeeze. 

The man put his weight onto his knee and arms, effectively cutting off all air and making any of Civilian’s struggling pointless. Still, they clawed at the hands and kicked their feet, feeling the blood rush to their head. 

No, they thought at black spots appeared before their eyes. Please, god, no.

“It’ll be over soon, love.” The man’s voice barely registered. 

Civilian felt their hands go numb and their kicking stopped as their energy drained like a bath with the stopper pulled out. 

“Yeah, it will.” 

A slash and the pressure on their neck and chest was gone. Civilian coughed and gasped as air flooded their body. 

From the corner of their eye they could make out two dark shapes struggling beside them, but through the coughing and the tears they couldn’t make out much. 

Suddenly they felt themselves being picked up and thrown over a shoulder. They make a sound of protest, despite their damaged throat. 

“Hang on, mate. I’ll get you somewhere safe.” 

Civilian knew that voice. They knew it, but their battered body could do nothing to protest. 

Civilian could only hang off the broad shoulder as Villain swept them deeper into the garden. 

[hhighkey]

Decode // Chapter Fourteen, Sunday Morning

Dracule Mihawk (opla) x OC (female)

Rating: mature

Story Contains: live action characters, related and non-related one piece plots, unspecified religion, OC is a nun on sabbatical, trauma, violence, age gap (40 v 23), insecurities and self doubts, possessive / protective behavior, kidnapping, true loves, eventual smut

Note: second to last chapter I've decided! pretty sure yall been waitin for this one hehehe que smut (feel like sorta got awkward tho at the end? sorta off my writing grind lately) ***ALSO yall i’ve now started to post this fic on my AO3 xxxx

Masterlist

-

It was a Sunday morning when Sabine trekked her way up to the Monastery. The Holy Day, it felt ironic in a sense when she realized it after leaving behind the Going Merry. Nostalgia, familiarity, sorrow laced with minor bouts of happiness hit her as she passed by the familiar sights, the sounds, the scents that had been a piece of her for so long. The small stores they frequented for candles and fabrics, sometimes sweets. The lilac field and how its wisps engulfed her, tears pricked at her eyes. 

But it was the sight of the front gates. Then of the cemetery she had to pass. Of all the statues she’d come to memorize, each tile along the pathways and their dozens of cracks. The thorny rose bushes. The lines of laundry out to dry. 

It felt as if she were coming off this great high, seemingly never ending until the doubt crept in. Mixtures of good and bad memories, the emotions raw within her as she approached. Seeing the very same windows and balconies she used to stare out from, imagining a life beyond the walls. The very same walls she allowed herself to walk back within. A tightening, coiling in her chest made it feel like the air was taken right from her lungs at the realization. 

Her heart was set. For she knew it had been long ago. Yet it was her brain that reeled, trying to make excuses to go back to the Sisterhood. It was safe, she knew it well, and she could give up her autonomy over her body and mind for good. Let herself only think of her duty, it would be easy. Right?

“My child.” The matriarch stood just inside the main doors. 

The musk of the ancient hall, the emptiness of it and all its dust, hit her full force. A heavy fog of remembrance, that the floral smell of an old dying woman that could never be masked, would be her fate. Her stomach lurched, a sinking sensation settling in. Sabine’s voice was stuck in her throat as she approached. 

“Sister,” Sabine smiled warmly, “It’s good to see you.”

“You look well.” The elderly woman replied, “I’m not surprised, perhaps disappointed.”

“What do you mean?”

Sabine then noticed the bag at the matriarch of the Monastery’s feet. The very same bag Sabine had on her when she was brought to these doors all those years ago. 

She sucked in a sharp breath as her heart hammered in her chest, suddenly beating out of tune. “Why do you have that?”

“You don’t belong here Miss Oakes. But you are dutiful, loyal, I’m worried you’d stay even if it sucked the life from you.”

“I…” She faltered. Nothing came out as she reopened her mouth, a stuttering within her brain on how to continue. 

Sabine had rehearsed great speeches during the walk. During her sleepless night on the boat, thinking what to do, what to say. Every outcome on repeat, her imagining the worse possible outcomes. Imagining trying to leave the Monastery and being trapped, being forced into a religious manic state to keep her pliant. How convincing sermons and prayers of everyone acting as one could be. It became her nightmare. 

Did it mean she wanted to leave? 

“Do not bend over backwards to convince yourself of reasons to stay.” 

Sabine teared up as a cacophony of emotion bore down on her, churned its way up through her belly and up her throat. She choked back a whimper, turning her head so to hide her glistening eyes.

“I can’t just– I can’t walk away, not after all…” Her voice broke off, “You’re right. I hated every second here, while I loved my sabbatical, as crazy as it was.” 

A moment of pure joy blossomed in her chest. Like a rose in bloom, its red petals bright and full. Lovely. As if her consciousness was released of yet another worry. First the demon of her nightmares being vanquished. And now her decision. Having to push away the thoughts of letting down those she cared for within the Sisterhood. What would the loss of one nun be in the grand scheme of things?

“Good.” The matriarch smiled warmly, “While you will no longer be an active nun, I urge you to keep your habits, keep your love for your Sisters here. It was a strange world as you know. Stranger that I had Cardinal Joseph reaching out to me, granting you a title within the church permanently for all you have done. And if you want back in well? Aren’t we supposed to be for the lost and wary?”

It meant the world. Sabine grinned, a laughter bubbling up from her throat. Even Cardinal Joseph knew she needed out! Allowed her the option of safety to have safe havens within those associated with the church, knowing she could continue to declare herself a nun with no consequences if stuck in a jam. After the betrayal of her father as a child, she supposed she would always be guarded, dealing with the trauma it wreaked on her very depths she was not aware of. She supposed things would never work out in the way they did in stories, that she wouldn’t get the joyous ending she so wanted, just one of simplistic measures. While a life at the Monastery would not have been complete misery, Sabine only saw it as a prison compared to the opportunities ahead of her. 

“Would you like to hear about everything that happened on Angelica Island?” Sabine asked, unable to wipe the grin from her face. The corners of her eyes crinkled to match the matriarch’s as they headed to her office to catch up over tea.

-

Had the sun ever shone that brightly before?

Sabine did not think so. Not when she’d been out hours prior thinking she was going back to her jail, the place that had slowly sucked the light from her. The answer had been there in front of her the moments Luffy and then Mihawk came into her life. While she now walked away from the Monastery for herself, she could not have been more appreciative for those that helped her see it. 

It was bittersweet, it probably always would be. But as she’d walked the once intimate halls of the Monastery she felt like a ghost. A spirit stuck in time waiting for its chance to move on. And she knew if she’d stay, she’d wallow, she’d descend into something darker. Because those walls felt haunted, reminders of her past and the things that were still raw. Of her mother and of her despicable father. Of the abandonment and resentment that festered she did not realize until standing in her old room, seeing the empty bed and closet. It would go to another. 

Life was moving on. And it was time for her to do so as well. 

The matriarch had given her a bundle of supplies, of a few maps and directions on the next steps she could take. A list with a few names, then a letter to the owner of the Bed&Breakfast of the small town she’d passed through to arrive. 

It was a nervous excitement that churned in her stomach, though she couldn’t deny the fear as well. She’d be foolish not to be uneasy, this new season of her life had no end date like the sabbatical. Sabine no longer considered the Monastery her fallback plan. It couldn’t be!

She felt a shift as she drew closer to town, the perimeter’s stone walls overridden with vines and sprawling flowers. As she came to the bottom of the hill the road weaved along, coming to the entrance her brain tried to catch up with what she was seeing.

Sabine came to a halt, time at a stand still around her. A euphoric quiet, the sounds of the quaint town coming to a hold. Her heart hammered in her chest as her stomach erupted in a fluttering swarm of butterflies. A choked cry of emotion came from her lips as she broke out into a grin, the ring she kept around her neck felt like it burned beneath her dress. 

Without a care in the world she flung herself into his arms, bag dropping to the grass. Because she knew he’d catch her. And he did, his familiar scent enveloping her once again after months apart. 

There in Mihawk’s arms Sabine let out a relieved laugh, squeezing her arms that wrapped around his neck. His hands firm on her waist. Electric tingles shot through her nerves, her veins feeling full of an overwhelming joy that threatened to burst at the seams. 

Their grips on the other loosened as they pulled back enough for their gazes to connect in a fiery bond. His golden eyes entranced her. Stomach in knots. Passion surged through Sabine as she reacted. 

On the tips of her toes, cupping his face in her hands Sabine pressed her lips to his. A barrage of fireworks set off inside the two as their lips moved with fervor, in disbelief that this had finally come to fruition. As if their souls intertwined as heat erupted beneath her skin, as her insides fluttered furiously. His grip on her was like he could lose her any moment, tight and to his chest. Their hearts beating in turn, quick as their pulses hiked as emotion swirled around them.

“How?” She asked in awe as they broke apart. Her breathing heavy.

“I promised after your sabbatical I would come and find you. I imagine you’ve made a decision?” He replied warmly, clearly insinuating the kiss, how effortlessly she’d pulled him into her as she could wait no longer. 

Sabine flushed pink, suddenly embarrassed of her brash actions, “Oh sorry about that, got excited.” 

He placed a kiss atop of her head, cupping her jaw to force her to look up at him. How cute her bright pink cheeks were, eyes glassy and wide. “Tell me of your time whilst we’ve been apart. Tell me all about your decision, all that went into it.” 

And she did so with renewed vigor, gripping his arm as they walked to town, afraid he would disappear at any moment. Was this truly real? Truly happening to her? How attentively he listened to the adventures she had after their time together on the Island, carefully nodding, even tensing as she told him of close calls they suffered with other pirates. 

“I want you to know,” Sabine said, stopping as they reached the Bed&Breakfast, “that I made this decision for myself, for what I wanted and not for anyone else. You just happen to be an addition to which my heart belongs.”

Mihawk brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, her skin swarming to life from his touch. “I know, I admire that of you. My heart belongs to you as well, my dear, it had from the moment I laid eyes on you in that bar.” 

“Baratie seems like a life time ago.” She remembered some parts of it fondly, the rest not as much. “But to think, how much awaits me.” 

Mihawk’s heart ached, it felt to expand as he looked upon her shining face and all he felt was the overwhelming weight of love. Her endearing smile, eyes alit in glittering wonder, but it was the unwavering stance in her future that made him proud. Once a young woman unsure of what she wanted, or perhaps too scared to claim what she knew she needed; was now impenetrable in the future she would grasp. Mihawk only hoped she would continue to see one with him. 

“If you’ll have me by your side,” Mihawk said, voice low, “I would be honored.”

“Having a skilled swordsman might be helpful.” Sabine grinned as he chuckled from amusement. “I had plans for just myself, unsure of when we would meet. The matriarch gave me letters of places and people, but I suppose if you’d let me travel with you when safe, I would be very pleased. I have no goals for now besides to see the world and to be with you. I’m sure as time passes I’ll have more of an idea of where I want to dedicate myself.”

“It won’t always be safe to travel with me, but you’ll be safe in my home if you wish to stay there, or if I travel somewhere with a marine base I know you’ll be safe to wander to your heart’s content.”

“I was curious where you lived.” 

“I believe you’ll find it amenable.” 

Mihawk and Sabine paid for one room at the expansive Victorian style home of the Bed&Breakfast, it was on the second floor in one of the far corners. It overlooked the sea as if sat on a jagged piece of land that sat just higher than the rest of the miniature town. The waves crashed along the rocky shoreline just north of where the small port resided, an even smaller marine base to match the amount of occupants on the island. 

It was a large room with renewed wooden floors and a fading pink wallpaper, old finishings and antique furniture. Quaint and clean, Sabine smiled to herself as her fingers ran along the linen curtains with embroidered daisies as she peered out the wide window. 

As she looked to Mihawk, who stood in his glory as he carefully placed Yoru at bedside, Sabine was suddenly filled with nerves. A pleasurable yet painful fluttering that made it hard to think as heat pooled in her core. This time being alone with him in a hotel room felt different, drastic from the weeks they shared one on Angelica Island. Of course it was different, she thought, so much had changed. She had changed. And no longer would she be scared of what she wanted as it was steps away from her. 

And it seemed Mihawk had the same line of thought. He was on her in moments, grasping her waist and pulling her into him. Lips searing on hers, lightheadedness tickled the back of her mind as her knees wobbled. 

Sabine’s back met the soft bed, a soft gasp leaving her lips. She stared up at him with stars in her eyes, warm anticipation settling in her chest. Butterflies swarmed her stomach, excitement pooled in her core, so pleasurable and new that it overwhelmed her senses. She could hardly think straight as she was desperate to grasp Mihawk as he stood above her. 

He stripped himself of his jacket and shirt with ease. How handsome he was in her eyes as he did so gracefully, a sheen of sweat at her hairline as she watched him. Reveling in his chiseled muscles that made her marvel. Her body was alive in every sense. She yearned for him in a way she had never experienced before and she thought she understood wanting someone. For how she missed him had been so consuming during their time apart, she did not think another emotion would control her as this did. 

Their lips found each other as if they needed the other to breathe. Mihawk moved to carefully hover above her, holding the side of her face in one of his hands whilst the others bore his weight, planted above her head. Their hips slotted together as her legs wrapped around his waist, she could feel his hardened groin against her. 

“Mihawk.” She breathed heavily as they broke apart for just a second. His lips went to claim hers once more but stopped. His golden irises peered at her intensely. “I’ve not done this…” 

Realization flashes over his face, cheeks redding ever so slightly. “Right- a nun’s vows, permanent or not.” He remembered. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes. More than anything.”

He stole the breath from her lungs as their mouths slammed back together with a desperation only the other could quench. Sabine wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as physically possible, her entrapped between his forearms, stuck between the bed and his muscled chest. She saw stars as she let out a whine, pure want wracked through her and it was becoming too much. Dizzied. Heart racing. A high pitched whine escaped her. 

Mihawk pulled back, eyes dark as he grazed a hand along her cheek. His fingers pulled at the fabric she adorned. “Your clothes, dear, may I take them off?”

She nodded in agreement, then he swiftly pulled her dress over her head. Immediately her arms went to cover herself atop her bra but as his lips descended onto her neck, moving to her collarbone, the tickle of his beard and soft words against her skin; she let him remove it too. 

Every touch had her on fire. Every stroke and every kiss felt like she was drowning in a vast pool of molten lava as Mihawk worked his way down. Oh how right this felt as he pulled off her panties, kissing her inner thighs. Though nerves flitted in her ribcage, she felt safe with him, certain of this path more than ever before. 

“Do you want me to keep going, dove?” 

“Yes, please.” She responded immediately, blood rushing to her cheeks as she watched him dropping back to his knees between hers. To be bare in front of a man like this, made her flush and her mind race. But Mihawk was shirtless, his slacks discarded as well, how lovingly his golden irises stared up at her; she felt reassured.

Every inch of her skin shuddered beneath his continuous touches, how his fingers drew slow and teasing circles along her thighs only to stop along her creases as her breathing quickened. Sabine squirmed, heat pooling in her loins as she tried to wade through the new feelings that erupted within. 

Mihawk liked how she begged, loved it really; a shiver went down his spine as his name rolled lustfully off her tongue. He was building her up but his patience was thinning, for how he was desperate to taste her, to claim her as wetness pooled at her entrance.

His eyes flickered up to hers one last time, checking to see if any doubt clouded them, but there was not. Only awe as she waited for him to continue. “I’ll take care of you my love, don’t be afraid to stop me.” She seemed to relax at that, Mihawk couldn’t hold back any longer as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. 

Sabine’s taste intoxicated him, the sound of her cries ignited a flame within. His tongue danced circles over her swollen clit, studying how she reacted to every movement. The fervent moans reaching his ears was like music, it spurred him on as a low groan built in his chest. He burrowed his tongue inside her, swirling and sucking so he could hear her pleas. And when his first finger breached her walls, she gasped, hand shooting down to grasp his other, she gripped onto him any where she could as he pumped his middle finger in and out. 

Any further composure she had melted as he sucked harshly on her clit, adding another finger inside of her. She gasped as her vision turned spotted, her hips involuntarily rocking against his hand for more. More. She needed him as her lungs filled with air, though never feeling quite enough. Mihawk curved his knuckles that hit a spot that made her cry out, a shudder overtaking her whole body. She was sure she was seeing Heaven as he stretched her out adding another finger, a fresh pain turning to rapture as his name rolled off her tongue. 

“Mihawk!” She practically sobbed as a wave cascaded over her, as her loins snapped and an orgasm wracked through her. A blissful moment where all she saw was stardust, all she could breathe was his name. 

He helped her come down, carefully kissing along her thighs, cooing sweet words she hadn’t known him capable of. How he captured her in a heated kiss, his tongue pressing past her lips to claim her. Her body jerked and writhed against him, the haze finally disappearing from her head so she could see him clearly. Golden eyes held her own, her chest seized with emotions of love. 

“Tell me if it gets too much.” Mihawk kissed her forehead before he stripped himself of his boxers. It was his last layer between them as he situated himself between her legs. His cock was long and girthy, he fisted it in one hand with slow strokes as he admired her. The sheen of sweat along her skin, her blissed out face with wet lashes, eyes swirling with lust. 

His cockhead prodded at her glistening entrance, letting it run up and down her folds leaving her gasping with each touch. Eventually he lined his tip up with her after she begged him not to torture her, grunting as he entered her. 

Sabine was a whimpering mess as the first fourth of his cock was swallowed by her constricting walls. A dull ache deep in her core by the sudden intrusion, she grit her teeth, nails dug into his biceps to ground herself. Her head spun as she wound tighter and tighter, before she snapped and pleasure hit her. It felt like he was splitting her in two, like she was standing on the edge of the world waiting to spill over from the pleasure that slammed into her. But it was him that pulled her back, pulled her back to reality as his cock dragged out of her velvet walls and pushed back in. 

She moaned, breathless as she half heartedly begged for more, unsure if she could even take more. Lashes fluttered furiously as she saw stars, as she did not think she could take the pressure and pleasure that built up. The static in her lower tummy, the spurred emotions that flit through, the practical pain that made her cry out. How it built and built, and built. 

A mindless smile was plastered on her lips. Her fingers grazed along every inch of his skin, every inch that was available, making her insides flutter. To see him like this, clothes off, their bodies intertwined, their souls as one made her feel on fire; an all consuming one she wished to never go out.

Sabine’s eyes were half lidded the further, the harder her fucked her, uncaring for her pleas to slow down. His hips moved as he was needy, as she was needy, as their moans intertwined and their bodies did too. Mihawk readjusted himself between her legs, slamming harder against her pelvis, causing his thick cock to hit parts of her she did not know existed. For he was so deep that her mind exploded, her limbs erupted in goosebumps, eyes rolled back into her head, and she writhed against him. Breathless cries falling from her lips. Half moon marks along his skin from where her nails dug. 

“Take me, my love.” Mihawk breathed unsteadily. Oh how he knew he would live for every reaction, every gasp, every jerk of her body. Nothing would ever impact him the way this did, becoming one with Sabine. His grunts, his moans, it was all for her. 

Their lips meshed in a desperate fashion, like the other would die if separated. Sabine felt herself approaching a high once again, incessant gooey pleasure spreading throughout. A coil tightening. Vision blurring. Mihawk relished in the sight of her like this; beautiful, naked, flushed, and crying out for him. His cock fucking into her depths, disappearing each time their hips flushed as one.

Mihawk gripped her hips as he readjusted her legs, pushing them so her ankles upwards towards her head. She gasped. He was deeper than before, she let out a shuddering sob as her fingers gripped his biceps harder. Sabine cried out nonsense as a wave overtook her, as it slammed against her bringing her beneath it. Her second orgasm consumed her, snatching the air from her lungs like she was drowning in it. Mihawk picked up the pace as she pulsed around him, cunt all swollen and tight as he swore he was seeing white, his own high closing in. Cock twitching, several long thrusts, he let out a few grunts, profanity slipping past his lips as he crushed his mouth back onto hers. He cradled her from how he laid on top supporting himself. Her legs limply circled around his waist as his cock released within her, filling her up. 

Vulnerability shone in her eyes. Lips red, parted as they focused in on his face. Mihawk kissed her forehead, slowly nuzzling down to reach her lips. A gasp escaped her as she felt his cock pull out of her. He listened to the rapidness of her pulse, of how her heart hammered in her breast as her chest heaved up and down. How that in his arms it began to lull, she found solace and comfort in him, which made his own chest fill with an unfounded emotion, something that felt so strong yet he could never put a word to it. He held her, and she held onto him, as if they could be separated at a moment’s notice. 

“Sabine?” His deep voice sent shudders down her spine. 

A pink flush came over her, a sense of embarrassment flaring inside as she could not bring herself to meet his gaze. Realizing they lay naked, of the things they did– she felt no regret, but worry, of insecurity towards herself as if she were baring more than her naked body. Sabine moved to cover her breasts as they shifted. 

“You are beautiful.” He murmured huskily, as if able to read her thoughts. 

Sabine was certain her face was bright red. But she still melted into his hold, basking in how her skin erupted in goosebumps as his lips fanned along the skin between her neck and collarbone. The neatly trimmed hairs of his beard made her giggle, “I suddenly feel… shy. Perhaps I should go clean myself-”

“Let me help.” It was as if she would go nowhere without him. Like it was his duty to see to her afterwards and it made her insides bubble, a strangeness that she had not expected from a man. 

She had no experience with this, nor did anyone at the Monastery talk about it if they did. Apparently foolishly she thought when the actual actions of sex were done the man and woman just… went on their own ways as if it had not happened. Sabine had never seen her parents be intimate in the sense of kisses or hugs. So the fact Mihawk did not seem to want to move past sex, but to bask in it as he cared for her was almost too much for her pour heart! Everything felt warm, her extremities tingling all the way from her toes to the top of her head. 

That was how she found herself in a bath with him; a large porcelain tub with steaming water and the washroom fogging with the scent of lavender. There with her back to his chest as the soapy water covered her breasts, listening to the constant rhythm of his heart, their fingers intertwined. Her head rested back, lashes fluttering as she craned her neck just so to gaze at him. Defined cheekbones, striking eyes, his full lips calling to her… 

“You’re certain you want me?” The words slipped past Sabine’s lips before she could catch herself. 

He did not miss a beat. “Yes. I meant the words I said then and I continue to mean them now. You have become the very thing my heart beats for, allow me to care for you always.”

And she knew he did mean them, for his actions showed it louder than any words could. How he became a constant. How he cared for her, how she showed up for her, never did he leave any room for true uncertainty to creep in. She realized even the months they were apart, she had never once doubted that they would be reunited. That he would find her no matter what sea she was in or which island she were on. 

Sabine turned hesitantly in the water, bracing her hands on his chiseled chest and planted her lips to his. 

-

posted: february 20 2025

taglist: @zzbloody-animezz @honeybeezgobzzzzz @mythical-goth @iraaiitz @moonmaiden1996 @gizamalblythe @anonymousewrites

[starry-bite]

live episode reaction: "tara" (cme 18x08)

spoilers below the cut!

IT'S ALREADY OVER FOR ME IN THE FIRST TWO MINUTES SHE'S SO SOFT AND VULNERABLE TELLING REBECCA ABOUT HER NIGHTMARE

“THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE JUST HAD A NIGHTMARE” I LOVE YOU TARA I'M SORRY YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A HARD HOUR

“I COULD USE A CUDDLE, HON” SCREAMING

her little tshirt no pants i love

oh tara

her voiceover!! yes to this!!

“i don't need the light or whatever this is” ADDING THIS TO THE GIRLIES WHO DIED REACTION/VISION LINE-UP IS CRAZY

oh the denial

oh Honey

but her response and emotional reaction are so true to her as a character!

damn this quote

penelope better be okay

“how are you holding up?” “i'm not. i'm heading home too.” classic emily non-answer

oh please we're not framing ochoa

WHOA the trust penelope has in voit to sleep with him is Wild

oh good em gets to help pg

“let me take care of this first” pg being prioritized over the possibility of a mole is 1000% correct, my girl comes first

omggg finally getting something with tara’s mommm

okay is she in melgren in her mind or is it just sort of sloppy set reuse

“don't get much of it in real life, and then right before you die, bonus round” 😂😂😂

“you're not being honest” OOF

wait do we know the tara mom beef did i miss something?

OH NO TARA

oh shit her aorta??

bro when did they become huggers? but also fun! people usually gravitate toward garcia for comfort it's fun to see em put in that role. even if she is not immediately as good at it. maybe because of that.

paget’s voice keeps doing weird stuff the last couple episodes

i know i know this is serious just gimme a sec GLASSES ARE BACK GLASSES ARE BACK GLASSES ARE BACK

“question, who’s tired?”

oh i can feel her gearing up i love a cunty leader emily rally speech

gotta bring by my emily morality meta this monologue is feeding the worms in my brain ughhhh

god i love when jj locks in

evan you better fucking not

“you're a high-functioning overachiever who became a fixer to avoid grief” GODDAMN MAMA LEWIS PUT ME ON BLAST

wait doesn't it take face to face contact for voit to remember, do we need to worry about him remembering the lonelyheart bullets?

im so glad they're finally doing something with rebecca!!!

oh come the fuck on evan

and not to derail, this episode goes crazy after reading @blackbird-brewster’s rebecca/tara/emily/jj polycule fics

oh my tara

oooh goood one tear

BABY TARA

feel bad for saying this, but this mom-daughter chemistry isn't really working for me

aisha is so good and it could just be the left-field nature of it, but her mom just isn't holding up to me

all emily's little wrap tops

garcia outfit is SO CUTE

awww they love her

is she fuckin with them?

wait is she taking a sabbatical??

wait is this gonna be a PROPOSAL????????????????

GAY PEOPLE I LOVE GAY PEOPLE HAPPY PRIDE

THIS ACTUALLY MAKES UP FOR THE JEMILY QUEERBAITING

OH MY GOD

END THE SEASON WITH A WEDDING???

LOOK AT ALL THEIR FACES THEY LOVE HER SO MUCH

DAVE HELPING TARA KNEEL

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE A SAPPHIC CRIMINAL MINDS ENJOYER

overall: pacing kind of insane but has the flavor of the later seasons of classic in a joyful way. loved FINALLY getting some good tara-centric material even if some of the writing was whack. did kind of feel like a different show than the rest of the season, really all of evolution tbh. particularly loved the beginning and end of this episode. fun! the finale two-parter is going to be insane, i’m sure, so i’m glad they got a little sweet reprieve.

[quitealotofsodapop]

So Mk gets surprise eggo because of paint and confined space and lack of food? Imagine that he has no idea what’s wrong with him, he goes to Lao Tzu, and when Lao Tzu goes “congrats on the baby” Everyone just kinda stops.

And Mk bursts into tears so loudly that all of heaven can hear. He’s all “I can’t have a baby, it’s too dangerous!” And “I’m not ready!” Pigsy and Wukong are trying to comfort him, and the poor boys is just a sobbing mess.

And Lao Tzu is just standing there like “?????”

Sorry MK XD You're getting Egged

Bonus Anon asks:

Referencing this post where someone pointed out that MK could theoretically create a Stone Egg + the sequel that pointed out that he'd most likely do it on accident.

I could see this most likely happening in the Canon! verse since I bet the other au MK's would be more wary of Stone Egg mishaps. But I could 100% see it happening in the SlowBoiled au since that causes more drama.

And as much as I love the idea of MK becoming *ahem* egg'd as the result of a bad guy's plans or a huge catarosphe, I think it would fit more if MK did it completely on accident.

So the idea:

Post S3 MK decides that he needs some "Me time" and takes a break from work and training after the whole "Saving the world from a bone demon"-thing. He just needs some time to shut off completely from his responsibilities in the city. His friends understand and wish him well, even though they're worried since MK won't tell him *Where* he's taking a break to.

"Where" turns out to be a cool cave-let MK found while exploring FFM during S2 with no Monkey King to hover over him. Its quiet, it's secluded, its completely off-grid... But MK just can't relax. His brain is all busy, and everytime he sleeps he sees Her.

So he starts painting. And drawing. And using charcoal. Maybe a little rough pottery with the muddy clay-like stuff in the water? And soon enough he's looking like his Artist Clone with how caked in material he is.

In liu of going to sleep and risking terrible bone demon nightmares, MK meditates like how he saw the Monkey King do. In these moments his thoughts wander into deep, dark teritory. Real "call of the void"-type of thoughts.... hey should he eat something? It's been... oh gosh Pigsy's gonna killl him if he doesn't at least text to tell him how his sabbatical is going.

After his inpromtu vacation is up, MK feels... really gross? Maybe thats cus he hasn't really washed or slept or ate, or spoken to anyone in all that time. Weird.

Pigsy asks him how long it's been since MK last ate a full meal, and huffs with disappointment at his nervous laugh before pouring his son a bowl of noodles.

Bouts of nausea and dizziness follow MK everywhere afterwards. He had no idea why - paint fumes maybe? Did some toxic chemical seep into his skin? Did he get sick somehow from isolating himself in that cave? Is that Jin and Yin trying to take over the city?

At somepoint in the utter chaos of S4 likely as the rest of the gang are recieving training from Subodhi; a certain alchemist meets MK to whisper a few questions into his ear.

Lao Tzu: "I was told that you've been experiencing extreme power fluctuations for the last few weeks. May I run a few test to rule out any abnormalities?" MK: "Oh cool, no probs! Just don't put me in that furnace thing-y." (*a few tests later*) Lao Tzu: "Ok great news, it's not a curse or medical problem." MK: "Phew! Then why is my body feels like its "glitching" all the time?" Lao Tzu: "Thats a decaying glamour spell. Its likely that you had one affixed to you shortly before you were given up by your creators." MK: "Glamour spell...? Wait, then what about my powers wigging out?" Lao Tzu: "Oh thats easy. You're just pregnant." MK (has not Done the Do): "What!?"

Mere seconds after Lao Tzu gives the diagnosis - MK just starts bawling.

He doesn't want this! Not now! He does want to have kid while all This is going on! The world might be ending for Buddha's sake!

MK is having a million panic attacks rn. He wants to have kids, so many, but only in the *Future*! When he's like semi-retired and has a protege of his own to take over the monkey business- HEY WAIT, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

Subodhi has to drop the big lore that MK is a Stone Monkey - capable of reproducing asexually under extreme circumstances, in order to clear up the whole immaculate conception part.

Then Lao Tzu has to tell MK that the Stone Egg he carries will likely Kill him since he's (mostly) mortal.

MK starts crying before deciding to tackle the issue Later.

Ofc MK simply doesn't want his family to worry about him what with all this Brotherhood stuff going on... so he just keeps quiet for now.

His family are going to find out soon though. And by Guanyin, Pigsy is gonna freak.

Macaque (and later Wukong), just need to sniff MK once after they reunite to notice whats up.

Wukong offers to grab some No-Baby Spring Water immediately if MK doesnt want to keep the Egg. Macaque briefly panics thinking that the kid got knocked up the old-fashioned way... only to panic harder when he and Wukong determine it to be a Solo-Made Stone Egg(!!!). Cue two panicking fellow Stone Monkeys making MK feel even worse about his conflicted feelings on the matter.

Pls add on what you think so far! :3

[rp-partnerfinder]

Hiiii! I haven’t really been active in fandom for years, but I’ve been feeling like going back to my roots. I’m 22, use all pronouns, and primarily write queer stories. I’m semi lit to lit, and I strive with varying plots so they maintain my interest. I’m looking for partners 18+ and who are willing to explore and have fun! My timezone is also PST :)

There’s a few things I’m looking for…

For one, I LOVE ocxoc! I have a few little buddies rolling around my brain, absolutely itching for use, so I am DOWN to clown. I have this concept where it’s like.. two street racers? My character is rather outgoing, with a bit of an ego and a flirty streak. He’s decided that this racer (your character) is his rival, and is super determined to smack talk him and beat him at as many races as possible. Sadly your character is like? Awesome? So it’s a bit of challenge. My character starts like.. upping the smack talk, but he’s a little stupid, and doesn’t realize how gay some of the things he says are? Like, he’s all “Pfft, yeah, I should teach you how to ride, you clearly can’t” and “You should only ride with them if you like it low and slow” and “Do you not know how to shift in gear? You just grab it like this, firmly, you know, and tug upwards as you shift your arm forward” You get the idea. Your character thinks that they’re being very obviously hit on, and so it’s like a one sided rivalry with my obvious idiot of a character. I also LOVE yellowjackets, and have been working on an oc for some fxf. My character is a spunky player, who usually finds herself taking out any negative feeling through action. She likes to fight, exercise, hunt, etc, because if she’s not doing something she feels stuck. She’s closeted because her dads a pastor, but she knows she likes girls. She just doesn’t know how to be okay with that part of herself. I wanna do a slow burn, and really have our characters get to know each other while being a support to lean on.

Otherwiseeee, Ive been looking back at some of my fantoms and I have a HORRIBLE request. You’re totally okay to ignore this. I’m looking to do a bnha rp with my oc x Endeavor? WHICH SOUNDS BAD. I know he’s TERRIBLE, a horrible abusive asshole, full on, but I love toxic relationships and I have a lot of ideas!! My character is Kiku! A prohero whos very optimistic and kind, working full time while being a single dad. He’s also trans, and Enji, known abuser, is also a cheater and likes them more masculine than he’d care to admit. Long story short he got Kiku pregnant during a one night stand, and Kiku ended up taking a sabbatical to have his child. He originally planned to keep Enji out of the picture, known for his cold demeanor and rage, but his daughter starts having pretty severe health issues with extremely high fevers. In an effort to figure out whats going on with her, he finally gives in a contacts the guy. Thats kind of where our story starts? I want a slow romance that’s definitely a bit toxic, but also allows Enji the space to change and grow. Lots of family and work drama aswell! If you’re interested in this super weird idea, we can also definitely do doubles! I haven’t rped a lot of characters from bnha since my teen years, so I might be a bit rusty, but I’m rewatching everything rn to get a better sense of the characters!!

I’d also be super interested in doing a Klance rp? (if you couldn’t tell from my ocs…) I know that Voltron has passed its prime, but I rewatched the show before it got removed from netflix and I have MISSED my little idiots. I am willing to play either Lance or Keith, doesn’t matter! I kind of love plots that focus on alien aspects? Like, I love exploring the space racism Keith deals with, and the whole problem Allura has with him in season 2. There’s the well loved “lovebug” trope that was popularized in 2016 and BOY! Do I love it. I enjoy anything funky, like a rock that makes them tell the truth, undercover missions to infiltrate space monarchies, crash landings, castle malfunctions— I COULD GO ON!! But honestly, if anything in this ad sparks your interest? Please Like this post! I will send you a dm as soon as I notice haha.

.

[theroleplayclassifieds]

Hiiii! I haven’t really been active in fandom for years, but I’ve been feeling like going back to my roots. I’m 22, use all pronouns, and primarily write queer stories. I’m semi lit to lit, and I strive with varying plots so they maintain my interest. I’m looking for partners 18+ and who are willing to explore and have fun! My timezone is also PST :)

There’s a few things I’m looking for…

For one, I LOVE ocxoc! I have a few little buddies rolling around my brain, absolutely itching for use, so I am DOWN to clown. I have this concept where it’s like.. two street racers? My character is rather outgoing, with a bit of an ego and a flirty streak. He’s decided that this racer (your character) is his rival, and is super determined to smack talk him and beat him at as many races as possible. Sadly your character is like? Awesome? So it’s a bit of challenge. My character starts like.. upping the smack talk, but he’s a little stupid, and doesn’t realize how gay some of the things he says are? Like, he’s all “Pfft, yeah, I should teach you how to ride, you clearly can’t” and “You should only ride with them if you like it low and slow” and “Do you not know how to shift in gear? You just grab it like this, firmly, you know, and tug upwards as you shift your arm forward” You get the idea. Your character thinks that they’re being very obviously hit on, and so it’s like a one sided rivalry with my obvious idiot of a character. I also LOVE yellowjackets, and have been working on an oc for some fxf. My character is a spunky player, who usually finds herself taking out any negative feeling through action. She likes to fight, exercise, hunt, etc, because if she’s not doing something she feels stuck. She’s closeted because her dads a pastor, but she knows she likes girls. She just doesn’t know how to be okay with that part of herself. I wanna do a slow burn, and really have our characters get to know each other while being a support to lean on.

Otherwiseeee, Ive been looking back at some of my fandoms and I have a HORRIBLE request and you’re totally okay to ignore this. I’m looking to do a bnha rp with my oc x Endeavor? WHICH SOUNDS BAD. I know he’s TERRIBLE, a horrible abusive asshole, full on, but I love toxic relationships and I have a lot of ideas!! My character is Kiku! A prohero whos very optimistic and kind, working full time while being a single dad. He’s also trans, and Enji, known abuser, is also a cheater and likes them more masculine than he’d care to admit. Long story short he got Kiku pregnant during a one night stand, and Kiku ended up taking a sabbatical to have his child. He originally planned to keep Enji out of the picture, known for his cold demeanor and rage, but his daughter starts having pretty severe health issues with extremely high fevers. In an effort to figure out whats going on with her, he finally gives in and contacts the guy. Thats kind of where our story starts? I want a slow romance that’s definitely a bit toxic, but also allows Enji the space to change and grow. Lots of family and work drama aswell! If you’re interested in this super weird idea, we can also definitely do doubles! I haven’t rped a lot of characters from bnha since my teen years, so I might be a bit rusty, but I’m rewatching everything rn to get a better sense of the characters!!

I’d also be super interested in doing a Klance rp? (if you couldn’t tell from my ocs…) I know that Voltron has passed its prime, but I rewatched the show before it got removed from netflix and I have MISSED my little idiots. I am willing to play either Lance or Keith, doesn’t matter! I kind of love plots that focus on alien aspects? Like, I love exploring the space racism Keith deals with, and the whole problem Allura has with him in season 2. There’s the well loved “lovebug” trope that was popularized in 2016 and BOY! Do I love it. I enjoy anything funky, like a rock that makes them tell the truth, undercover missions to infiltrate space monarchies, crash landings, castle malfunctions— I COULD GO ON!! But honestly, if anything in this ad sparks your interest? Please Like this post! I will send you a dm as soon as I notice haha.

⭐️

[2024-grimoire-challenge]

June Week 1: The Wheel

Even if you don't prescribe to the popularized Wheel of the Year ideology, your year rolls on, as a wheel does, and continues day into day, month into month and year into year. And there is a cycle to that rolling wheel, even if for you it is only the seasons.

So this month we'll be taking a look at that wheel, at our year, and how the changes in the seasons influence our practices, if at all, along with what things we celebrate or acknowledge throughout the year. Let's dive in!

Monday - Seasons/ Sabbats/ Esbats/ Holidays

Research/ New Pages - So this is going to be a lot of new pages, if you feel like making them. Make a page for each of the holidays you celebrate, if you feel the need. Anything from the wheel of the year, to important cultural holidays you celebrate, to holidays you acknowledge in general. Do basic research, beyond the things you already know about those holidays. As an example, Imbolc, part of the wheel of the year. When is it? What is it? How is it celebrated? Why is it celebrated? What is its history, myths and legends? What magic is associated with it? What deity, if any? What are other associations it has? What foods are related to this holiday? What activities? Make a general page for each of the things you celebrate that you can come back to as you learn more about them and celebrate them over time!

Research/ New Pages - If you associate more with the general seasons, make a page for each season. When, for you, does the season start and end? What is associated with it? Both in your practice and in your life, how do you relate to the season? As much info as you can gather!

Tuesday - Transitional Periods

Research/ Introspection - As we observe the wheel of the year there are periods where they seemingly overlap at times, or when things are in a transitional period. Not quite summer, but not yet fall. Are there any associations for these periods of time? Certain magic or events associated with these times? Think not only about the world, but about yourself during these time periods. How do you feel, where do you fit in? How does this transitional period influence you and your practice?

Introspection/ Meditation - Think about how the weather and the seasons effect you. Do you get sad on rainy days? Do you get the winter time blues or seasonal depression? Are you happier on sunny days? Dig deep and try to discern the reason for these feelings, good or bad. It could be simple psychology, ya know, sunlight does in fact help our brains feel happy. Or it could be something deeper. Think hard and journal the experience have your introspection.

Wednesday - Personal Holidays

Research/ Introspection/ New Page - What are the holidays you celebrate? How do you celebrate them and why? Are they part of your craft or are they just days you celebrate? Make a page for each that you can expand on at a later date!

Research/ New Page - Herbal research - Pick another herb from your list and discover all that you can about it! Everything from the magical, to the mundane! Practical and medicinal uses, culinary uses, myths and legends, what is it associated with and why is it associated with those things!

Thursday - Activites through the year

Introspection/ Journal - Are there any yearly activites you participate in? Anything you only do once or a few times a year because of the timing or certain events or schedules? Why does that schedule exist and what is the importance of the activity? For example, my mom's coworkers have a yearly hog roast to kick off the summer. It's become rather the huge event. We all go out to her friend's farm, they dig a pit, clean it up, everyone camps in campers or tents for a couple days. There's games, karaoke in the barn, swimming and so so much food. I learned more about why they do it after talking to my parents and other people that were there. Do you do anything similar? If so, what is the significance?

Friday - Enjoy the weather

Practical - get up, get out, and no matter the season, enjoy your current weather. Connect to the wind, the rain, the sun, the earth. Take a breath and a break from the challenge today and exist. Cause the world is a heavy place sometimes, but it is also the things carrying you through life. Connect to it and enjoy it!

That's it for this week! I hope you're all doing well, and i'm getting ready for the summer along with taking care of the coming weeks of the challenge so i can sit back for a while as they post. Continue to carry on, practice safe witchcraft and enjoy the things you do!

-Mod Hazel

[redlettermediathings]

Tell me about it, sailor! Hi, I’m Krebs Gorlon and I’m currently on sabbatical from my career as a window to window vacuum cleaner salesman so I’m writing you this intro. Yes, you heard me right. I sell vacuum cleaners via windows. I knock. I peek. Sometimes I break the glass. People stopped answering their doors for salesmen years ago, so I decided to take a new approach. Windows! Sure, they scream. They point firearms at me. They say they are going to call the police. And things get really weird when I try to climb into their windows, especially the bathroom windows. But do they buy a vacuum? They sure don’t! That’s why I’m on sabbatical. I mean that’s why I was fired. Mike and Jay pay me 12 cents a word to write intros to their videos (hence the length). So in this video Mike and Jay are back in the VCR repair shop to have another wacky adventure and to recap just a few films they saw recently. They really wanted to focus on a large piece of ass movie called “The Other” a movie filled with tropes and bad acting and a weird, stupid plot that will leave you scratching the hole in your head. The other movies are all pretty good and worth a watch. Are they the best movies ever made?!?! Nope. So calm down you angry keyboard-typers. It’s just a few light recommendations. Enjoy watching these old clowns try to speak is really the fun part of these videos. Mike looks so old and haggard it's like he's sliding his fat ass right into his grave. Jay's brain is rotting from the outside in. You can see it in his dead eyes and forced laughter. He's a dumb ass head. One might also suggest he's lost his edge. You see, Jay used to be "straight edge" meaning he never drank bleach or snorted powdered milk lips. Then he started smoking crack and doing bong loads or crypto currency shots off bartenders backsides and cracksides and BOOM! He was on a roll. He tried to get Rich Evans to start abusing substances too. First he started at McDonald's. Boy, was THAT a mess! And yes I'm talking about the bathroom floor. Then he took Rich to a whisky bar. One shot later Rich was riding a mechanical bull. True story! Rich flew off the mechanical bull and right out the window and into another bar. Landed right on the stool. He said, "Lou. Get me a milk. Chocolate." and from that day on Rich Evans never touched the stuff. Booze not milk whips or crypto shots. Mike (The ugly fat old dumb one) drinks soooo much booze every day of the year that when he went to his doctor his doctor told him that he shouldn't stop drinking. "why?" Mike asked. The doctor replied, "Because it'll kill you" - true story. You see if Mike went cold turkey with the booze, his heart and liver would explode or combust. The doctor told him to ease into being off booze. Try one less bottle of Jack Daniels each morning until he was down to 15 bottles a day. Then they could talk. After the doctor's appointment Mike rode that mechanical bull home while throwing back some cans of Schlitz. He converted the mechanical bull into a short-range car. He was able to obtain the beast because of a deal he made with the tavern owner. "You give me the mechanical bull, Rich Evans won't sue." he said. So every so often you might see Mike on the expressway riding his bull. You'll have to change lanes because the goddamn thing only goes 8 miles an hour, but hey it's a living! Speaking of a living, back to my job as a window to window vacuum cleaner salesman. About a year ago I peeked into Rich's window to try to make a sale. I hear that man is so dirty he just might benefit from the newest Dyson XJ21000 model. It's the same vacuum they used to clean up Chernobyl. I was about to knock on his window when I spied him pooping into his own hands and wiping his own fecal matter onto his own walls. He was dressed as a Nun as well. Now this wasn't the weird part. The weird part was he now had a shelf of Warhammer figures and a photo of himself as a toddler in a Wendy's ad framed on the wall. What a liar! He told that whole story but it was really about him.

[nerdieforpedro]

The Long Road to Together

Tommy Miller x Original plus size female character (Velora)

Fanfiction 18+

Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, drug addiction mention, pain management, anxiety, PTSD, mentions of death, possible dub con (maybe), body worship, Tommy Miller's dirty talk, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), P in V (practice safe sex everyone), pregnancy kink, domestic fluff, cheesy jokes

Summary: Velora has been apart of the Miller brothers' lives decades. She's particularly close to Tommy. They've shared countless memories with each other over the years and in a single night everything changes. If only they'd get out of their own way.

Notes: So, I put many subjects and themes I've wanted to write about in here. It should make sense, I had the wonderful @musings-of-a-rose beta it for me and as a fellow Tommy fan, I trust her. I did also add a subplot with Joel because, why not try one out? I really enjoyed this and for Tommy's character. I have a different take on him.

Word count: just under 16K (because Tommy's worth it!)

“You got anything for a bad back?” 

“Nothing that will actually take care of the pain. Best I can promise you is to dull it. You need to go see a specialist, Joel.”

“That sounds like it’s gonna take time I don’t have. You know I gotta…”

“Yeah, I know. Just let me know what appointments they have and I’ll see what my shifts are like old man. You can’t be folding over when Sarah’s just getting into high school. There will be boys there!” 

A slap was heard to Joel’s shoulder and he winced, letting out a curse as he hunched over further at his desk. The stress of running the business by himself was getting to him. Tommy had taken a sabbatical as he called it, the timing had been pretty poor. Thankfully, he had a woman who he considered a little sister to help him out. Her father had been friends with theirs and they always hung out together as children. In middle school, the family moved away for a time, but returned while the Miller brothers were in the middle of high school. Velora had just started high school and looked similar to how she did now, telling dumbass jokes, finding a reason to smack Joel and always being supportive. 

He organized the files that he would need for tomorrow and in particular, permits needed for a job the company would be starting on a ranch outside of Austin. Rebuilding a stable wasn’t too out of their depth, Joel just needed to research more on the permits required which he did, but damn if all the reading was making his head hurt even with his glasses on, add his back pain to that and he was miserable. He missed riding horses, but not so much he was willing to risk not being able to move for a few days. Velora had taken over administrative tasks that Tommy normally did as he was better at it and knew how to navigate the different offices they normally had to deal with the state and city, he was also much better at schmoozing suits and the like than his grumpy self. Velora helped out on her days off in between her shifts at the hospital. She sent Joel off for the evening and put away files that the elder Miller brother had taken out for review. 

“He’s got to learn to put this stuff back. Otherwise he’s never going to find anything.” Velora griped, she wore gray capri leggings because they were easy to move in and matched her white t-shirt. Usually she would dress a bit better for the office in case Joel brought any clients by, but he had been out most of the day, leaving her to get phone calls, further organize items and files. She was also trying to understand Tommy’s organization system which even though he had explained it over the phone twice, she still didn’t understand. “He’s been gone three weeks, like I get it but also I still don’t get what I’m looking at. It’s not even organized by color, number or alphabet, what the fuck is this?” Her brain hurt trying to work out the system. She thought Tommy had mentioned to her that it was by the date they took the client on, but there was no distinction between finished jobs and complete ones as those were mixed in and with different dates. “I feel like he could tell me five more times and I wouldn’t get it.” Shaking her head, she put the files where she thought they went near the front of the file cabinet and locked up the office, heading out to her car and driving home. Once in front of her small two bedroom, one and a half bath house, she sighed, happy to be home. She had a shift again tomorrow, but hopefully Joel would actually look for an appointment. Icy hot, tiger balm and heat packs could only do so much. Velora understood why Joel didn’t want to go to a pain clinic, he’d have to tell them about his past addiction issues with alcohol and it may affect his treatment plan, hell with some doctors, they just keep recommending tylenol and ibuprofen when that clearly hasn’t been working for him. He needed good pain management.

Kicking off her shoes, Velora flopped back on the couch and started at the ceiling. It was 8:30 at night. Too early to go to bed and too late to start any shows or movies.

“Where are you Tommy Miller?”

Elsewhere in the world…

The grass was crisp under his feet, the sun had just set not too long ago as he walked back down to the rock outcrop overlooking the rolls of green grass he had seen earlier that day. He couldn’t sleep again. The younger Miller brother had been worried about his brother Joel. He knew he didn’t deal too well with people even with Velora helping him. But he would text Joel later and maybe give Velora a call. There was more he needed to discuss with her than anyone else.

It had been seven years. They seemed to have passed by in a blink of an eye. Tommy recalled first joining the US Army, doing his patriotic duty and a way to use up the excess aggression he had from not really knowing where he was going next in life. At first it was fine, basic training then he was assigned to a platoon where he got to know other soldiers. It was when he was assigned to the 1st Armored Division that his optimism started to wear thin. His core group consisted of himself and five other members; they actually made it through Operation desert storm. What he saw there, the things he did, he never spoke about them except with the group and one person removed from the war. But the bodies, the smells, the tastes,, the sounds all of it overloaded everyone. Each man had their own way of dealing with it. One of the group was dishonorably discharged for using heroin he found overseas, but the Army never said what they did with the rest of it after removing it from belongings. He wasn’t the only one they confiscated it from, anyone who had it was dishonorably discharged but it was never made public what happened with the drugs. It was also never mentioned in great detail what they did to the country of Iraq. No one ever mentioned completely decimating and crippling a country, nearly burning it down to its foundation only for the same people who supplied the Army’s weapons and gear to switch profit off of a land that they aided in destroying. 

Tommy left the army after seven years of service, thankfully his brother allowed him in the construction company to work so he wouldn’t go completely insane. But his ‘Ironsides’ members weren’t so lucky. One died from an opioid overdose, another from drunk driving and two from suicide by gunshot. None of the funerals were covered fully by the VA, each family only received $1500 toward burial costs, but had full honors with all the pomp and circumstance. The two cousins in their group asked to have their ashes spread to their home which was Ireland, the only reason the veteran came to this place. It was beautiful though he had to admit. He may want to bring Joel and Sarah here, his brother would complain the entire time but he may get a grin out of it and Sarah would enjoy exploring the land. The younger Miller wondered if he should ask Velora to come too, she wasn’t one for the cold, but may like the greenery too. Watching his oldest friend muddle around the hilly terrain would be fun, he could steady her, show her the lakes and watch the sunset with her. Tommy felt he may not have cried as much if his Sweet Pea was here, she could crack a joke or just let him hold her, rock him  slowly as his head was on her shoulder. 

With two urns, one under each arm, Tommy carefully set one down and opened one, pouring the ashes out to scatter across the cool breeze that was blowing. He did the same with the second urn, waiting until another wind could carry the ashes away. Tommy had taken more time then he told Joel and Velora he would be gone, he didn’t mean to stay longer. It was just easier, he could work though his emotions more and not risk breaking down in front of them, though that had failed with Velora the night he told her he was going to spread that ashes per his brothers-in-arms wishes. 

Four weeks ago…

He had mentioned it like he was going to the store. She had asked him to explain and he didn’t. Tommy wasn’t going to until she pulled him into a hug. He didn’t realize it at the time, but tears had been running down his face. He remembered the warmth of her embrace and settled into the couch with her, almost laying on top of her to cuddle. She just ran her fingers through his hair, they didn’t say anything to each other, he tried to make as little noise as possible while sobbing. Her red shirt she had been wearing was soaked with his tears. Velora never mentioned his crying when he followed her to the bedroom and demanded to sleep next to her, promising to only hold her hand. She had smiled and told him it was fine if he needed more from her, to take what he needed. No matter if it had been money, time, food or those three DVDs he never returned, his old friend never complained. Velora would just smile and tell him it was okay. Even when Joel would get pissed with Tommy about the direction the company was going in to missing a game or two of Sarah’s (he really tried not to but sometimes the suits at the city were really long winded and insisted on drinks),  Velora would be there in his stead for his niece and tell him play by play as much as she could of the game when she would stop by in the evening. The veteran recalled that the night had been humid, despite the fan running, moisture stuck to their skin. Velora was in her simple thin nightgown and Tommy just wore his boxer-briefs to bed. 

Tommy may have took that a few steps too far. 

The night began with him holding her hand, that was fine for a time but, then he took her into his arms from behind, drawn to her soft curves that accommodated his taut muscles. The delicate oche tone of her skin glowed within the moonlight. It was when he kissed the back of her neck and his hand went to her breasts that she pulled away from his touch slightly,

“Tommy…don’t play around and go to sleep.” He heard her say, he couldn’t make out the inflection of her voice. His friend’s hips wiggled toward him, his free hand grabbed her hip, pulling it toward him.

“I’m not Sweet Pea. I need to touch you more, just let me, just for tonight.” A growl emerged from his chest, his teeth grazed her shoulder before nipping her lightly. Her gasps encouraged him further, she never said it, but a small smile always came to her lips when Tommy called her that. 

“Alright, but just…ah..” Velora wasn’t given a chance to finish her sentence. Her breast was plopped out of her nightgown as his hips grinded into hers. Tommy kept calling her his sweet pea in her ear and she reached a hand back to try and reach his cock, to feel it. “J-Just put a condom on and stick it in…” An order that Tommy wasn’t willing to follow right now, instead he pulled away from her, quickly slipped his boxers off and turned Vel on her back. “W-What are you doing? Why didn’t you just-” The nightgown she had on was over her head, the veteran hovered over her, he knew she would be angry but he would not fuck her the first time. Maybe the second time but not the first. Tommy had already planned other times he may bend her over. He wanted to make love to her in this moment, subsequent encounters could be messy and quick but the younger Miller brother wanted to savor her body as Velora was now, only for him..

“You told me to take what I needed.” His mouth took her erect nipple and large chocolate areola into his mouth, hearing her scream the first time convinced him that this was right. Her hands ran through his then medium length raven hair, tugging on it, his chest pressed into her stomach, sinking in it. The sensation had him grunt onto her nipple, rolling it with his tongue, his legs wrapped around her calf, his length dragging against her leg. Her body continued to writhe under his, his face soon in between her breasts nuzzling the sensitive skin between. Velora was looking down at him, panting, surprise on her face. She hadn’t expected him to fully undress her nor to try to explore her. “Velora,” Tommy paused and peered up at her, “I need all of you, so I’m going to take it all. Are you alright with that Sweet Pea?” He asked, moving upward and settling himself between her wide thighs. He wasn’t going to enter her yet. However, though she did spread her legs for him, Tommy closed her thighs around his waist so he could feel their soft embrace. 

“Yes, I told you to take what you need. I didn’t quite expect this way though.” Her digits danced along his bellybutton, then his stomach, not as firm as his military days, but still tight enough to display an ab or two. The pads of her fingers circle his nipples, small but at attention, all for her right now. “You don’t have to be gentle either Tommy. I’m here with you, for you. Just let go.”

“Sweet Pea, I want to be careful with you. You deserve that, always you hear?” Descending, he felt her heartbeat against her chest with his, glad to know he wasn’t the only one feeling like it might burst. “Give me your love Vel.” Lips crashed together, he bit her bottom lip, drawing a sliver of blood. He just said he’d be gentle but it was overwhelming, one of his hands took the back of her head and forced it forward, deepening the kiss, Vel mewled into his mouth and pressed her feet into the mattress to help move her hips forward, she felt the throbbing of Tommy’s cock just above her folds, a hand came between her and the velvet skin. Two fingers parted her lower lips and a squeal was heard when he released her head and it fell on the pillow. “Not yet Vel, gonna eat that dripping pussy.” He meant to use sweet words with her, that’s what she should be hearing, his Sweet Pea. Sliding back down, Tommy hoisted her thighs on his shoulders, giving each a small peck and pulling them so she could only see his hair for a small part of his forehead. When he spoke directly into her mound, he heard her say it,

“Fuck Tommy, make me cum. Sop my pussy up with your mouth!”

The younger Miller brother smacked his lips. “I’m going to have to see how dirty I can get you to talk Sweet Pea.” His nose ran up her slit, taking in her strong scent, he caressed her opening with his plush lips before slipping his tongue inside, rotating his the tip of his oral muscle was causing her cunt to quelch already, he then inserted it centimeter by centimeter , reveling in her screaming his name. His length continued to throb but his goal was to have her climax before entering her. The waves of contractions inside of her canal was constricting his tongue, he longed to have his cock inside of her, to have her continue to cry out his name while he could watch her face unravel. The pressure on the sides of his head increased as her large thighs pressed together in an effort to keep him right where he was, not that Tommy had plans to be anywhere else. His nose tickled her clit and provided a particularly strong clamp down from her. So he set his elbows against the mattress and forced his face against her mound, holding his breath as he used his nose and mouth to make her climax. With alternating curses, calling on the Lord and Tommy’s name, Velora reached her peak, the soldier was able to at least draw his face back a little before suckling on her clit, overloading her body, making it jerk. Tommy managed to inhale deeply, satisfied that his face was soaked with her scent and nectar. He ran two fingers through her cunt and brought them to her mouth. “Suck on them with that loud filthy mouth on yours. Turns out I needed this side of you love.” 

Her warm tongue quietly took her own juices from Tommy’s fingers, after they were clean, he got up from the bed and rummaged through his jacket and found a condom. He looked up at Velora who was turned on her side toward him, the easy shine of their affection for one another draped her body. Her curves and stretch marks on full display, ‘she’s mine’ he decided. ‘No one else’s, I’ll make damn sure of it.’ He crouched down next to the bed, meeting her at eye level, “Velora, you’re sure you’re alright with this next part?” He needed to know. They were friends first and foremost and he respected her boundaries, except tonight of course, but he wanted to make sure she was really okay with it. The woman nodded and took his hand in hers. 

“Tommy Miller, get in this bed and make love to me. You said you wanted my love. I’m giving it to you. Come to me.” She got up on her knees and held onto the headboard to keep herself from tipping over back onto the bed. “I told you to let go. Just have me. Please.” It was the look she gave him, so permissive and delicate. His arms wrapped around her once more as he kissed her, not deeply just to touch his lips against hers. Their foreheads touched and he met his nose with hers. 

“Velora, you’re a hellova woman.” Tommy smirked and laid her back, moving her toward the middle of the bed. He was in between her thighs once again as she opened herself before him. As he rolled the condom on his length, he marveled at her body; wide, tender, subdued and hushed for him, she bit down on her lip to quiet herself, presumably because he had mentioned volume and word choice. Tommy didn’t want her to quiet down now. He wanted her to go hoarse from calling his name, from what he did to her. Leaning forward, he pressed his tip into her folds, releasing himself and using both hands to cup her face, his thick fingers massaging her the top of her jaw, just under her ears, “Look at me Sweet Pea. Open your mouth, I want you to use those lungs.” A short nod from her was all it took, his hips eased forward and back easily for the first few pumps, only going in half way, keeping his eyes locked on hers as she cried out, 

“Oh…oh..fuck Tommy, you’re…spreading…me…” Velora whimpered, her thighs began to close again and his hands had to move to keep them open. His rhythm picked up as his elbows made contact with her knees pulling her legs back toward her chest and curling her body for a deeper angle, the pace picked up as he was now diving his cock fully into her flush with her mound and pulling back until only the head of length was inside of her. It was difficult, he could barely speak because her cunt kept sucking back in deeper, the slapping of their skin filled the room. Tommy raised one of her legs and turned his head to bite her calf, then licking it after, tracing his tongue over his teeth marks.

“This pussy is mine Sweet Pea, you won’t fit anyone else Vel. Goddamn you tight as a vice woman…” He murmured into her leg, pounding into her, he felt the pulse of his hardness growing closer to completion. Velora reached for Tommy, her arms stretched outward toward him, he dropped her legs and grabbed her love handles, continuing to roll his hips into hers. His forearms were scratched by her nails, leaving red marks on his olive skin. “Velora, you hear me? This cunt is mine only mine. Say it Sweet Pea.” A command with her pet name. It pushed her over the edge, 

“Shit yes, yes yes yes Tommy, my pussy’s just for you. Tommy Ahh!” Her neck flicked back as her walls closed around his heat, he was able to push into her six or seven more times before he released inside of her. The veteran didn’t pull out yet, dropping himself slowly on top of her plush form and ran his nose over her lips that were slightly parted, there was droop at the corner of her mouth, her eyes had tears dotting them, his large hand cupped her cheek against and tipped her face forward so her neck was no longer bent. “T-Tommy…T-Tommy that was…I…” Her quiet words expressed what he couldn’t. 

What has he done with his best friend? They’ve crossed a major line. He was worried that when they came out of this, she wouldn’t speak of it, like other insecurities and issues that he had told her about over the years. She never shied away from listening to his thoughts, however intrusive and depressive. But he didn’t want to be this vulnerable with anyone else. Even with other women he dated, there was always a barrier that he put up as far as feelings. They always told him he hid behind his humor and sarcasm. Tommy knew he did, but the one person he was always comfortable with was Velora, was he the same for her? He realized he had never asked, not that she didn’t share her own issues with him, but she didn’t talk about men she dated with him so much. Not that he encouraged it, he never wanted to hear about her dating life, no one would be good enough for his Sweet Pea, was he even good enough for her?

“Valora, rest. I’ll be right back.” A peck from his lips to hers before he slid out of her and got out of the bed. He went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Looking in the trash can, he scoffed at the loss, ‘should be inside of..’ before he could finish the thought, he cursed himself. Tommy knew he needed to stop, they hadn’t even had a conversation about what they just did, he was thinking about putting his seed inside of her?! “Fuck, I’m insane…” Shaking his head, he grabbed a washcloth out of her bathroom and returned to the bed, Vel had rolled on her side and was attempting to sit at the side of the bed, “Let me clean you up first, take it easy.” he brushed the back of his hand on the copper toned flesh of her hip. He tapped the washcloth on her thigh as she raised her leg and he held it for her, wiping front to back before tossing it on the dresser, knocking over a lotion bottle or two.

“Tommy, why would you throw it?” She asked, chuckling, ‘thank God, she still laughs. That’s good.’ His eyes went from her face to her slit, despite wiping it down it was still glistening, he licked his lips before setting her leg back down and letting her pull on his shoulder to sit up next to him at the bedside. Velora looked forward for a few minutes before speaking again. 

“Did you take all you needed lucky beetle?” She kept turned away from him. “Thanks for cleaning me up Tommy. We should head to…” his hand ran up her spine.

“We’re not doing anything until we talk about this. Vel, I…I want to..” She kissed his cheek and told him words that devastated him.

“This should be between us like always. I won’t ask you for anymore. We’re just- just friends. I hope I was able to help you some. We don’t have to talk about it.” The younger Miller brother remained silent as she wobbled to the bathroom to relieve herself, she closed the door. In his disappointment, he quickly threw his clothes on and dressed, leaving her home and hopping into his truck. A deep wail came from Tommy before he started the engine and drove home, he laid awake and slept through his alarm the following day. Within the week he was off to Ireland to distribute the ashes, he said he would be gone for a week, week and a half tops. He was gone for about three weeks.

Velora’s tears streaked her face in her bathroom. She should have told him that yes, she wanted her cunt to be just his. For him to only be with her and no one else, but she couldn’t. She knew how Tommy gets when he’s sad or frustrated by something he can’t control. That’s when he’d normally find a woman to fuck. She’d used it to her advantage, granted she didn’t think it would happen, it never had before. The woman wore the same nightgown she had before, bland panties, they cuddled like they normally did. He liked to be the big spoon. She knew she shouldn’t have given in, but it was Tommy, her Tommy. She’s known him for more than half her life, tried to date other men but they flat out don’t compare or worse, they actually suck. She couldn’t tell him that it was the first time she had sex fully naked and the lights on, that he asked to see her face and took the time to prep her before entering her. God he used the mouth that she dreamed about on her, just thinking about it now…She should have let him finish. But she was afraid he’d say it first…that it should be another thing between friends. The way she heard him hastily dress and run out of her house told her, she had done to him what men had done to her in the past: dismissed his feelings.

In the time he was gone Sweet Pea tried to go on dates, but she couldn’t stand the touch of another man, even from a side hug she flinched. Whoever said the best way to get over a man is by getting under a new one was wrong. She can’t even be near a new one.

Two days before arriving home…

Joel had spoken to Tommy two days before the latter’s flight home, asking what the hell he did to make V go on so many dates. Tommy was curious how his brother knew the information given that he didn’t think they spoke about subjects like that. Joel said that he heard it from Tess, Joel’s off and on again, whatever she was. That was an entire bag of worms he wasn’t getting into. At least his relationship with Velora wasn’t like that…but it could be. They started out as friends and now those two assholes can’t be in the same room without eye-fucking each other or cursing up a storm. Tommy explained that they had a miscommunication when he last spoke to her and that’s why they were unusually curt with each other on the phone. Joel gave it some thought, sure he was closer to forty-five than forty, but nah, Tommy wouldn’t have right? Not with…

“Tommy you didn’t sleep with V did you? Tell me you didn’t.” Tommy could hear Joel’s head droop. Damn him and using the same disappointing voice he uses when Sarah talks a bit too much trash at soccer and makes one of the girls on the other teams cry. 

“We sleep over each other’s homes fairly often after we hang out. I told you, it’s just..”

“Goddammit Tommy! You can’t do that shit, especially not to her. You know you can’t cut her out of your life like you do other women. I told you this shit would come back to bite you in your ass like a snake in a hole.” His older brother's condemnation of his actions past and present made Tommy suck his teeth.

“This from the guy who keeps holding on to a woman who only uses him for a few good times and disappears for months at a time. Fuck, she’s one who told me we’re not going to talk about it. Still be friends. What the hell else was I supposed to do? I took some extra time, what’s wrong with that?”

“The difference is I know what my relationship with Tess is, you asshole. You slept with a woman who’s been there for you through all your shit. I know you made it about you. It wasn’t about her at all, was it?”

Silence…his brother had him there. At the time, it hadn’t been about her, he even used the fact that she said he could use her however he wanted to do exactly that. Tommy exhaled.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’ve already blown everything to shit. She’s doing the same thing I would, getting out there and meeting some guys. Why’d you have to tell me you asshole? I fuckin’ hate it…she’s out with some bastard who won’t even….”

“Eh, I don’t need details of what ya’ll did. And it’s not really going that well. She told Tess that she freaks out when the guys try to touch her, even holding her hand. It’s all for show, guess trying to prove something to herself. Both of ya are a damn pair.” Joel chuckled on the line, the first time during their conversation. Tommy followed suit and a low rumble of laughter. 

“We’re two people who make shitty ass decisions. Just, see if Tess can get her to hold off ‘till I come home. I know her, it’s only making things worse and she’s going to be in head about it. All of it.”

“Yeah, on that same token little brother, get your head out of your ass and talk to the woman. Velora deserves that much at least. You’ll have to get her to listen tho’. I don’t think she’ll be keen on ya right now.”

“Shut up and just pick me up at the airport in a few days. Bring Sarah, I miss my cute niece.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up and then mention my daughter. I shouldn’t bring her just to spite ya. But she wants to ses you too. Loves your stupid ass. I guess you’re a’right at times Tommy. Take care, I gotta go to bed.”

“Lucky you. You can sleep. I’m just awake for no damn reason. You aren’t the worst big brother. See you in a few days.” 

The brothers smiled as they ended their calls. Joel trotted upstairs and kissed Sarah goodnight as she was already in bed. She stirred slightly and a smile formed on her face at her father’s warmth. One of the few times Joel didn’t look like he was completely over everything was whenever he gazed upon his daughter, his only light. 

It was 3:15 am where Tommy was packing up most of clothes, he had brought a backpack and a duffle bag that was significantly lighter now that the two urns weren’t in it, plus he wouldn’t need to check his bags this time so he might get through their airport quicker and get home. He went out into the cold night air with his coat on, hands in his pockets and hair tied back. The puffs of hot hair leaving his nose made him chuckle, he thought of her again, hoping that she hadn’t had too many dates in his absence but some to make her feel better. He didn’t want them to have gone well of course, but if she has the dates that’s fine. Joel wasn’t wrong, he did need to speak to her when he got back, he just had no clue what to say. 

Sorry for fucking you? Sorry for telling you that I don’t want anyone else to see you like this? That I’m especially sorry for not doing this years ago when I first realized that my feelings for you went deeper than that of a friend and maybe sabotaged some of your dates, sent messages from your phone and comforted you when the guys of course stopped communicating with you. Thankfully I only did that a few times before you caught me and told me to just tell you if I thought a guy was trash. I brushed you off because I would tell you they were all trash, but I knew I was garbage too because I was still fucking around, so i couldn’t tell you that. I didn’t have the right. Actually, that might be why you said what you did that night, you knew I didn’t have the right to you. I used you once again and why should I feel like I’m entitled to more? Just because of how you said my name, how you seemed surprised when I wanted to see you and hold you, how good you felt in my arms, how happy I am when I’m in yours…I’ve really screwed the pooch on this one. 

The short walk and the cold air gave Tommy pause as he found himself at the same rocky outcrop that he had spread the ashes over. “Had I asked, you would have come with me. I should have just asked…I have to tell you sorry in person, Sweet Pea.” The stars were hanging in the sky, twinkling at the haunted man. He began slowly back to his cabin and was finally able to sleep, there was no one to hold him when he shed his tears that night.

Velora had tears of a different nature, she was able to finally kiss one of her dates, it was a fair kiss, definitely not like her one with Tommy. She compared him with everyone now that she had a taste of him. Her date suggested that they go back to his place to which she declined, there was no spark, no longing, no anticipation. The man was good looking, could put sentences together, paid for dinner, seemed nice, no real reason to not try him out except he wasn’t Tommy Miller. He didn’t have his dark hair, deep brown eyes, that goofy looking mustache that tickled her tummy, his cinnamon skin or velvet voice. This man was none of those things and it wasn’t his fault. It was hers for agreeing to this date. Vel’s friends were proud of her for getting out there and exploring her options, but she was going through the motions, no matter if it was work, helping out Joel and Sarah or just moping at home, it was all hollow. The man walked her to her car, to which she thanked him for the date and drove home. 

Once home, she hopped in the shower and wash the date away, scrubbing her inner thighs especially as he had tried to finger under the table, but seemed to have difficulty navigating her large thighs, she couldn’t tell if he just hadn’t been with a larger woman or was out of practice in general. Velora got out of the shower, dried off and brushed her teeth, using extra mouthwash, she didn’t want to taste that man at all. 

Sitting on the bed, she looked at herself in the mirror, wrapped in her towel. This was the room she was taken by Tommy or more apt, she offered herself to him. Happily. The circles under her eyes were darker and she chuckled, it’s not the first time she had cried over Tommy Miller, but it was usually because he had done something stupid and not the other way around. It was enough to keep that man in a place that would freeze a witch’s tit an extra week and a half. 

He may have told me that he wanted to be friends with benefits or maybe that he actually had feelings for me, but I didn’t let him talk. These men aren’t Tommy and it’s not their fault. I should have told him years ago but I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Tommy, Joel and Sarah are family and I just couldn't…I still may lose them anyway. I shouldn’t have told Tess why I was crying and dating. She likely told Joel and…would he know? Is that why Tommy hasn’t come back yet? My head hurts. I feel like shit. Tommy’s the only one that looked at me like that, he touched me from head to toe and told me that I was only his. It was likely just dirty talk but still, it was nice to hear. Pfft, just nice? It was what I’ve always wanted to hear. I just didn’t want to be second anymore…Second to his grief, to his anger, pain and second to whoever the flavor of the month was. I’m tired of being second, I want to be first.

Vel laid across her bed and started at the ceiling, her tears were steady and she gave up trying to wipe them away. She woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose from not covering herself properly before sleeping. 

“Fuck, even my nose is tired of my shit…”

The day Tommy gets home…

Tommy arrived at the airport around seven in the evening, he was almost home. He had called Joel to pick him up, the uncle was excited to see his little niece as his brother said he would bring her. Normally he would call Vel but he couldn’t see her yet. Sarah and Joel greeted him warmly in the drop off area and helped him lay his bags in the truck. The brother chatted about how business had been and Sarah chimed in about soccer and school. The bright young teen did have something important to share.

“So Dad, we’re going to have pizza tonight right? Since Uncle Tommy’s back.”

“Yeah pumpkin I told you we would.” Joel sounded puzzled, unsure why his daughter was confirming plans they had already discussed. Tommy did not like the sound of this, it’s never good if Joel is surprised. He knew his brother stayed prepared. 

“I invited Aunt V to eat pizza with us, you got three pizzas right?” Tommy glared at Joel who kept his eyes on the road. His daughter may be in cahoots with Tess, which surprised him because he didn’t think Sarah liked the woman. He foresaw major issues going forward. 

“I ordered three because I thought it was going to be the four of us. You didn’t mention Vel.” The older Miller brother said slowly, he needed Tommy to know this was not his idea, and frankly he didn’t want the clusterfuck this was going to be, to be in his house.

“Well, Aunt V has been kinda down lately, hasn’t she Uncle Tommy?” Sarah leaned forward in her seat and patted Tommy's shoulder. He couldn’t lie to his only niece, but he also was not going to speak about his love life to a fourteen year old.

“I’ve been away Peanut so I wouldn’t know. Has she now? We should cheer her up.” Tommy bit his lips, and rocked forward, Joel knew those motions were, he was self-soothing. He was so pissed, but couldn’t say anything because he would sooner die then show Sarah anything other than her sweet uncle. Joel knew this was going to be a problem when they were alone. 

“Baby girl, you are so loved.” is all Joel managed to say before cutting on the radio.

Tess was at Joel’s house paying the pizza man and Velora was sitting on the couch. Tess was humming, this woman they all maybe saw three months total out of the year. It was weird, but Joel loved it so Vel figured she would just keep her trap shut. She shouldn’t speak about anyone’s relationship since she had mucked hers up with Tommy. Though a part of her wanted to look nice for him, so she ended up pinning her hair up, exposing her neck and wearing an olive green three-fourth sleeve shirt dress, she also may have left the top button open so she had a bit of cleavage showing but not too much. Sarah was going to be there after all. Vel also made sure to put on her favorite lotion from Bath & Body Works, ‘into the night.’ Maybe she was hoping for something to happen, at the very least, she wanted to be able to talk to him, likely not about the last time they saw each other but at least be civil.

The door opened and Sarah burst in, hugging Vel and snuggling into her, commenting on how good she smelled, Joel carried a bag of Tommy’s and hugged Tess, giving her a kiss on the cheek. That’s when Vel lost her breath, Tommy Miller strode through the doorway and set his backpack on the floor, nodding toward Tess. His eyes met Vel’s and he went to speak as she did , but nothing came from either of them. It looked like Sarah was going to say something but Joel suggested that they eat before the pizza gets cold. Everyone ate and listened to Tommy’s trip and embellished stories, Vel soaked up his laughter and smile, wondering how she would feel if he were to tell her he didn’t want to speak to her again, as he did other women. She was going through the motions again as Joel carted Sarah off to bed before long, she had fallen asleep across Velora’s lap. A place Tommy wanted to be. She looked beautiful, the earth tone dress looked gorgeous on her. It was then that he was surprised, Tess offered Vel a ride home. Apparently, a car ran a stop sign and rear ended her. She hadn’t been injured but her car was in the shop for repairs. Joel and Tess had been giving her rides from home to work. Tommy saw an opportunity. He had left his truck at Joel’s so he could drive home once he made it to their house after the airport. 

“I can drive you home Sweet Pea.” He stated quietly, setting a hand on her shoulder, he stepped in between Tess and where Vel was sitting. Tess was about to interject but Joel shook his head, signaling to let them be. Velora nodded. 

“Sure, thanks Tommy.” With that, she stood and thanked Tess for the offer giving her and Joel hugs before slipping her flip flops on and heading out with Tommy. He opened the truck door for her and she climbed in, he took special care to take a gander at her legs which the moonlight was reflecting off their well moisturized sheen. Tommy then got in the truck and started driving. 

“Tommy…I-I’m sor…”

“Leave it for when we get to your place. We need to sit and talk face to face.” The grave tone he used worried her, was this really happening? Was she going to lose her best friend over the best sex she had?

Once at her home, she opened the door and Tommy locked it after they got in, Velora set to opening a bottle of whiskey and pouring them both glasses with one cube of ice each. She sat next to Tommy on the couch and slowly sipped on her drink, clicking her nails on the glass. Tommy took a large swig and set his on the coffee table, taking hers and placing that on the table as well.

“Velora, I need you to listen to me. Don’t say anything yet.” 

“T-Tommy, just you’re not going to leave right? Just forget it. Just don’t tell me to go away.” His eyes widened, that wasn’t what he expected. He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed to try and calm her, but that only made her jump. “I know I shouldn’t have, honestly you’d never taken me up on it before. I wanted to see how far you were going to go, I didn’t expect…not that i didn’t enjoy it, but if it means we can’t be friends then, I’ll forget about it.” Her speech was pressured and rapid, eyes wild and darting around, when she did focus on Tommy’s face, he saw that she was frightened. 

“Sweet Pea…Just give me a…” Tommy tried to cut her off to explain but she kept going.

“You can’t call me that anymore. You can’t say it like that. Sweet Pea, it makes me wet each time and I can’t, I can’t Tommy Miller! We’re friends, you can’t call me that, not after…” The tears that she had been avoiding since she saw him walk though Joel’s doorway broke through, it was Tommy’s turn to hold her and to console. It was then he realized he wasn’t the only one that had been having feelings over the years. How long had she been in love with him? How long had he been hurting her? How long had they been hurting each other?

“Velora I don’t want to be just your friend. I feel the same way. Honey please…” Tommy whispered as he brought her close, her tears were wetting his shirt, but it was fine by him. He just needed to make her understand that he didn’t want to share her. But he also thought maybe he shouldn’t undress her this time.

After some time, she stopped just embracing her, small hands wrapped around his back, pressing on his shoulder blades. They were quiet except for a few sniffles. Vel leaned back and kissed Tommy’s cheek, her face puffy from her waterworks,

“I’m sorry I didn't let you talk, well this time and especially the last time. I just wanted to avoid talking about it. I couldn’t handle you telling me it didn’t mean anything.”

“Velora. That’s not anything I would ever say to you. And it wasn’t what I was going to say the other night either. I planned to tell you that I don’t speak like that to anyone, even during sex and that I didn’t want you seeing anyone else. I don’t want to see anyone else. Vel…I…” Tommy was cut off by her lips, not forceful but clearly to quiet him again, he cupped her face and leaned into the kiss, letting out a small moan. He did let her go after he licked her bottom lip and she didn’t allow him in. Not that type of kiss he figured.

“Just a little at a time Lucky Beetle. Please a little at a time. You just told me something major, I can’t have you say that I love you right now too. I know you like to get things all out in the open but just let me sit in it a bit.” The explanation made sense to him, in his haste to share his feelings, he forgot that she needs things in pieces, slowly. It’s why he loved talking to her because she could help him see things part by part, but that was clearly different in a relationship aspect. Her hands raised to play with his hair, then ran along his cheeks and poked his mustache. “It’s not that I don’t want to hear it, but I just need time. It won’t be too much. I promise.” He nodded, accepting her proposal.

“Should we get you cleaned up? Your face looks a mess Sweet Pea. Er, not that…” The woman let out a bellowing laugh, it was a sound that he was elated to hear. He hadn’t heard it for weeks and the last time he did, was one of his highest and  lowest points.

“Yeah, I know I look a mess.” She stood up and patted his shoulder for him to follow her to the bedroom. “Tommy, I should tell you, or rather I don't know if you already heard from Joel, I have been on dates since you were away. A few…” A drawer opened and she got out a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt for him. Tommy had his own drawer at her house and she did at his, they had for years. “Like four dates,” She turned to face him, but kept her eyes to the ground, still she felt she needed to be honest. “None of them panned out. They weren’t you, I compared them all to you. Even the last one…” Her arms crossed over to stomach as she held her elbows, Tommy could fill in the gaps but he still needed to know.

“How far did you go with him?” He asked flatly. He readied himself for the potential answer that she may have slept with someone, it’s not like he hadn’t done the same thing in the past, though while he was away he didn’t think to. The vet hadn’t expected Velora to take a page from his playbook as far as fucking away feelings.

“Kissing and he tried to…well not that he could find what he was trying to finger. It’s not like mine’s in a different place than a smaller woman’s, you just have to go a little deeper.” Her eyes rolled as she complained and Tommy chuckled, it was entertaining  hearing her mock another man and gave him a sense of pride. 

“Sounds like you had a tough go of it hun.” He placed his hands on his hips, his mustache continued to dance above his upper lip as she continued to chuckle. Velora shook her head and threw the clothes at him, which he caught. “Thanks for telling me though, you're honest to a fault.”

“Shut up Miller. I’m going to shower first.” A small smirk greeted her lips as she grabbed her own nightshirt and panties before heading into the bathroom. Tommy set his clothes on the bed and went back into the living room to finish his whiskey. They felt more normal, like themselves. It was good, but he didn’t want it to stay like this. How else was it supposed to feel?

Velora took a quick shower and brushed her teeth, remembering the glass of whiskey she had and that mint likely wouldn’t taste good with it. She tossed her worn clothes in the hamper and found Tommy sitting on the couch, looking at his empty glass. “Did you want mine too? It doesn’t go well with colgate.” Tommy shook his head and downed her glass as well before heading into the bedroom and stripping, then into the shower. When he came back out, he put his clothes in a small pile in the corner of the room out of the way. The pair sat on the bed next to each other.

“So…”

“So…what do we do now?”

“We should sleep, talk more about things with fresh minds.”

“Did you want to go get breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure, though I should probably check in with Joel to see if he needs help at the office.”

“It can wait until the next day, he’s actually doing better. Tess convinced him to go to a pain clinic.”

“Really? He left that part out when he was updating me. Old man with a sore back.”

Velora climbed up in the bed and slid under the covers, Tommy watched her and wondered if he could really sleep in the same bed as her without touching her. He should be able to, he has self-control. He followed suit and slipped under the covers as well, turning on his side away from her. If he faced her, he would feel tempted to touch her and after they had a positive conversation the last thing he needed to do was compromise that again.

Turned out it was not up to Tommy Miller whether things were going to happen or not.

Velora became the big spoon to Tommy’s little spoon and that was fine until the sun started to shine through the curtains of her bedroom window. Tommy rolled over on his back and Vel’s leg wrapped around his slim waist. That would be fine, if his hips hadn’t shifted up slightly and a familiar bulge touched her inner thigh. Exhaling, she opened her eyes to see if he was awake, he was not, his breathing still steady and his face in a neutral position. Her finger started to circle his dark nipple, she sank her body weight on top of his abdomen and rested her forehead on his chest, her soft digits inched along both sides of his clavicle. “Fucking delicious menance Tommy.” Vel hummed into his chest, sturdy hands took hold of her hips.

“Am I now? Right back at ya Sweet Pea. I thought I was having a damn good dream. Looks like wakin’ up is even better. Didn’t know you were such a vixen.” A low hum emerged from Tommy’s lips and he sat up, holding her over his hips. “Don’t move, you’re ridin’ me this mornin’ Sweet Pea.” His eyes had a soft glow to them, placing his lips over hers before she could protest, he knew what she’d say, to lay her back down because she was too heavy, but he didn’t want to, He wanted to watch as she bounced on top. Her hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, grasping tight, unsure how much pressure to put on him. Tommy, released her hips to slide his boxers down, unleashing his swollen member from the cloth confines. He then slid her thin wet panties aside to touch her puffy lower lips, a long moan was released from Vel as the mixture of cool air and warm callused fingers entering her, made her squirm. “Sweet Pea, you’re ready for me this morning aren’t ya? Fuck Vel, we wasted too much time. I could have had a ring on your finger and Sarah could have a cousin or two.” Her eyes shot open, did he just…? She pulled back, making her ass press against his thick cock, a gasp escaped from his mouth.

“Tommy, d-did you just…what?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean Velora. You don’t want me to say three words fine. I know many a way to tell you the same damn thing woman.”

“Well you wanna try this morning?” Her suggestion made him kiss her neck, licking it as his fingers pumped inside of her slowly. “T-Tommy, give me your…”

“My what Sweet Pea? I’ll have to be careful where I call you Sweet Pea. I can’t have you gettin’ this wet at a cookout.” He smiled into her neck, before biting it. One of Vel’s hands grasped the back of his head, tugging it toward her neck.

“Fuck Tommy. Your cock. I want your cock. I’ll make a baby with you. Give it to me.” She yelped as his fingers started to move faster, her nectar dripping down his palm.

“Not yet, I have to show you who can find your pussy with these fingers.” His mouth left her neck and found her lips again, biting her lower lip as she moaned his name. He could watch her like this for the next hour, maybe hours. 

“Don’t be an ass about it Tommy.” Her hips were moving faster, her hands came back to his shoulders as she began moving up and down instead of in a circle.

“Look at you, quick study like always Sweet Pea. Be my angel and soak my fingers.” Tommy commanded, curing his head to nipple at the top of her breast. He felt her squeezing his fingers, then the flood of her slick down his wrist as he slowed down his fingers to match her body’s release and subsequent decrescendo. She sat panting on his lap, her eyes heavy as she met his dark brown orbs again. “Velora, you’re sure I can cum inside you? We still have a shit ton to talk about.” He saw her nod but needed her to speak to him so he didn’t move.

“Tommy, I’ve dreamt of you getting me pregnant and raising a family with you. We’ll work out the details later. It may not even happen this go around. We’ll have plenty of other times to practice. I love you Tommy Miller. I want to make a home with you and a family.” Velora kissed Tommy’s forehead and reached behind her ass, taking his hot member in her hand, teasing his head, “I too am not going to let anyone else have this cock if I have anything to say about it.”

Tommy wondered why he hadn’t seen it, how he could have been so blind, but that moment passed, “Did you have me not tell you I love you so you could say it first?” Vel chuckled as her small hand stroked his cock, “You’re my petty ass vixen angel and I love you. Take off that gown. We don’t fuck clothes in this house.” A beamng chuckle was shared between them as she removed her gown and tossed it on the floor and Tommy assisted her in lifting up to remove her panties, he then shimmied his boxers off and he sat her right back in his lap. “Ready Velora? I’ll ease you in slow.” 

Velora’s hand guided Tommy’s cock to her soaked folds, slipping inside of her easier than she thought, though she didn’t expect her hips to slam flush with his. She let out a loud whimper from the expansion inside of her, the pulsing heat, the grimace disappearing from his face once he was inside of her, she remained still to adjust and was unsure if she should move, it felt as if he was piercing her womb and stomach. It felt like they were finally in the right place and the right time with each other. But she wanted more, she would take from him until he had nothing left to offer her, He hadn’t said a word until she pulled on his shoulders and pressed her feet into the bed to move up, only making it where half of his cock was still inside of her. “Tommy, I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this too long, damn…did you get bigger while in Ireland?”

Tommy still didn’t answer, he was focusing on not shooting his load into her after she sat her full weight on him. Velora was able to take all of him in one stroke, a feat that hadn’t been performed by any other woman he had been with. Now with her moving, he was twitching even more and it felt as if the wrong move or loss of concentration would have him prematurely released. However, when she commented about his size, his eyes open to see the woman that he loved struggling to ride him, it was breathtakingly slow, the perfect pace to make him last longer. “Sweet Pea, I’m gonna be rough for a few, you’re doing the Lord’s work up there. Need to know how it feels to fill you to the brim with my seed Velora.” Bewildered, Vel’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as he began, taking ownership of her hips and forcing his upward into her, she truly started to spring off his member, leaving only his bulbous head inside of her before bringing her back down so his balls smacked her ass.

“Goddamit Tommy! I’m gonna break, Ah…Tom-Tommy..” Her voice cracked as she screamed, one hand dug into his shoulder, her nails drawing blood from his skin as her other hand cemented itself at the base of his skull. Her back was already arching, she was trying to stop her walls from sputtering, to draw this sensation out, him making her and her cunt cry for him. Miller’s grunts increased with his pace, his goal was to stuff her with his cum and he would succeed this morning. His mouth found her round shoulder, her light stretch marks broke though the rest of her brown skin, he started licking them, but felt his teeth start to dig into the soft flesh. “Ah..chew baby, Bite me Tommy..!” She continued to call his name, it was a ballad leading to their mutual end. Velora came first, her nails, raking across his back and head as her cunt attempted to milk his cock of its contents. Tommy was able to get in a few more pumps before he felt it, finally, thick ropes coated her walls as he moaned her name into her shoulder, tasting something metallic on his lips. They remained still, regaining air in their lungs, Tommy fell on his back with Vel on top of him, her breasts landing on either side of his head as her chest fell on his face.. He tilted his chin up and landed a string of kisses in between and on the tops of her breasts. She hummed as she stroked his hair, feeling him soften and start to slip out of her stretched pussy. Thankfully, only halfway.

“Velora, you alright honey? Didn’t break I see. You’re too strong of a woman for that.” His familiar glow returned to his face as she looked down at him and nodded. 

“I’m better than I thought I would be. You might be the death of me yet Tommy. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to just relax again.” Her bubbly sounds had Tommy trace his hands along her love handles and back. 

“If anything, I’ll go first. You started it this morning, remember?” He reminded her as she raised up off his flaccid cock and plopped beside him and he pulled the covers over the both of them. His hands returned to her waist as she nuzzled in the crook of his neck. “We’ll have to check our injuries later, let’s get some sleep. I love you Velora.”

“I love you too Tommy.” The two found sleep in each other's arms for the time being.

The next morning…

A series of loud knocks was at Velora’s front door.

Sarah had been adamant about seeing her uncle Tommy. Joel and Tess tried to assure her that he’s fine, he’s resting up from his long flight, which might be true though Joel doubted it. The fact remind that he did leave his bags at his place from when he drove Velora home last night. Sarah was worried that Tommy may not be happy with Aunt V going out on dates and he could have argued with her and might be moping around his house. It was plausible and Tess found it convenient to need to drive into town for a meeting or two, which she did not have to do before this conversation started.

“You shoulda never told a child about grown folks business.. Tess.”

“Sarah’s a teen, not an idiot. She knows things have been weird with them. Plus she overheard Vel and I talking, I didn’t tell her anything.”

“And now you have to go? After you start some shit?”

“They were meetings I thought were pushed back and now the parties want to meet. It’s annoying and horrible timing but -”

“Seems like good timing for you.”

“Joel, don’t start that shit again. You always do this get mad at me and then-”

“And then you leave and stay gone, not talking to me for weeks or months at a time. Would it kill you to be consistent Tess? Lord knows I am.”

Tess held up her hands, done with the conversation for now. She headed for the door. “Joel, I’ll be back later tonight. Take that time to calm down so we can talk like two adults.”

Joel crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling. He felt small arms wrap around him. “Dad, why don’t you just talk to her instead of picking a fight?” The older Miller brother kissed his daughter’s forehead and smiled. 

“Your old man’s stubborn as a mule baby girl. I gotta be right, even if it kills me.”

“We’re going to take uncle Tommy’s stuff by his house right? I want to show him my new trophy. I fell asleep before I could show him last night. Joel couldn’t say no even though he was fairly certain his brother wouldn’t be home. Gathering Tommy’s junk, he threw it in his truck and drove over to the house. His brother’s truck was absent from the driveway so since he had a key he dropped off the bags inside. Sarah still insisted on seeing him so he drove to Velora’s where now he was knocking on the door. 

When there was no answer, he turned to his daughter who shocked him once again,

“You think they’re going to be friends with benefits or actually date? But they know each other pretty well so maybe not for long. I’m going to be a bridesmaid or the maid of honor.”

“Sarah honey, that’s putting the cart before the horse baby girl.”

“Dad. I’m fourteen. I know these things.”

“Where did my sweet girl go? I don’t want you to know these things.”

Tommy climbed out of bed first, he heard chatter outside the door so he figured he had some time. He relieved himself in the bathroom and grabbed a warm rag for Vel, cleaning between her legs. He couldn’t help but use two fingers to push some of his cum that had leaked out back in, that made her flinch and wake up. “Good morning Sweet Pea, better late than never. Fell asleep before I could clean ya. Someone’s at the door. Goin’ to tell them to kick rocks.” She nodded and rolled over toward the nightstand to check the time, two in the afternoon? It was pretty late.

Tommy popped his jeans on and didn’t worry about boxers. The cold floor felt good under his bare feet as he walked to the door, now on the other side, he heard two voices that he didn’t want to see right this minute. “Welp, it was going to happen sooner or later.” He unlocked the door and swing it open, 

“Afternoon brother, little Peanut.” Joel noted Tommy’s messy hair that was sticking all over the place and that he seemed to have some bruises on his abdomen. Dammit, really? My daughter has to see you like this…

“Hey little brother. We took your crap to your house. You good? Your hair is a little…” Joel studdered, first Tess and now Tommy, why were the adults he knew so damn bothersome and exposing his sweet daughter to things she shouldn’t know until she’s his age, scratch that, he needs to be cold in the ground before Sarah even thinks about, such things.

“Uncle Tommy, is Aunt V alright? If you look like that, what does she look like? Did you put a hurt on her?” The youngest Miller asked with a head tilt. Both men remained silent. Joel was the one now with his arms crossed and rocking between his heels and the balls of his feet. 

“She’s taking a bit of a nap right now, Peanut. I can stop by the house later-” 

“I'm alright, You should maybe go get freshened up though Tommy.” Velora walked up behind Tommy in a loose gray t-shirt and black leggings and tugged on the waist of his jeans to signal he should head back inside. Vel stood in the doorway and gave a stern look to Sarah before bursting into laughter. “You’re a firecracker young lady. You’re going to give both your father and uncle heart attacks. Please let your father hold onto his dream that you’re still his baby girl.”

Sarah stepped forward and gave her aunt a hug, patting her back and niggling into her. She whispered, “Aunt V, you look a lot happier. Both Dad and Uncle Tommy can be kinda dumb so don’t be too mad at him.” Vel chuckled and patted the teen’s head,

“I won’t. I promise. All adults are dumb at times, Peanut. It’s our claim to fame. I love you, you little scamp.” She kissed her forehead and let her go, Joel nodded and he headed back to the truck and left with Sarah. Asking her questions about what she knew about ‘putting a hurt on someone’ and where she had heard it. He didn’t really want to know, he just needed to identify whose knees he needed to break for telling his daughter this information.

Tommy was in the shower, using Velora’s green tea and jasmine body wash. It smelled nice on her, he wasn’t much for smelling like a flower, but he did need to be clean. He was lathering his chest when his Sweet Pea entered the shower naked and put her hand over his, helping him to lather himself. He chuckled at her eagerness to touch him, he was planning on initiating later but he wasn’t opposed to having a bit of slippery fun. He reached beyond the shower curtain and grabbed a second washcloth, the basket they had been neatly folded in fell over, but that could be tidied later. Tommy was quick to wet it and turned around, nearly falling back against the shower wall at Vel’s hair in her hot pink shower cap. Her lips pinched together as she pushed slightly on his chest to signal she was not amused. 

“Sweet Pea, you can’t tell me that’s not funny though. It had to be that neon, bright ass pink?” He cackled in between her soft hits with the soapy washcloth.

“Dammit Tommy, you know I can’t get my hair wet unless I plan to wash it and do that whole process. Stop laughing..ha, ha.” The woman started giggling along with him, the pair of them laughing until they wheezed. 

Tommy took his washcloth and ran it over Velora’s shoulders and took special care under her arms. He rung the washcloth out over her breasts and added more of the body wash to make the lather thicker before circling around each breast, carefully lifting them from their lowered position. Velora continued to drag her washcloth across his chest, then around to his back until she lowered it just before reaching his butt. She then brought it back to the front and wiped up and down on his abdomen eliciting a few more chuckles from the mustached man. Tommy started in the middle of her stomach and branched out with larger strokes before starting on her back. He then paused,

“So how do you want to take care of below the waist?” 

“I think we should each do our own, I don’t trust you not to start fingering me and I don’t want soap in my pussy.” 

“You know me so well Sweet Pea.” He answered with a smirk and made sure to clean his cock and balls well and ended with his ass as Vel did the same. They rinsed off and Vel stepped out of the shower first to set a few towels on the floor to soak up the water she was dripping and to grab two towels, one for each of them. After drying off, Vel put on the same t-shirt and black capris she had on before, they had been fresh out of the drawer so she didn’t mind putting the back on. Tommy slipped on a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt from his drawer in Velora’s bedroom. Tommy headed to the kitchen to start some coffee and make some brunch. He found eggs, onions, peppers, cheese and toasted some bread with some apple butter. Velora was finishing up the bathroom when she smelled his cooking, her mother told her not to trust a man who can cook when she was younger, but Vel found it to be one of the many sexy qualities Tommy had, among others that she could put her hands on now.

She walked out to her small kitchen and got some plates and glasses down to get the table. It could fit four people comfortably though it was on the smaller side, with just the two of them, it was just the right size. Tommy dished up the food, he made three pieces of toast for each of them, after he set the frying pan in the sink and ran some water in it, they sat down to eat, in silence for the first few bites. 

“So…should we talk about things or…?”

“I mean we can. I guess we should start with whose house we’re gonna live in. Yours is on the smaller side Vel. makes sense since it’s just you living here, but…”

“No I mean, about before. We moved things pretty fast and you never told me about how your trip went with, well what you were going to do, though we weren’t really speaking at the time.” Velora moved a piece of her omelet around on her plate as she bit into her toast.

Sitting back in his chair, Tommy crossed his arms and sighed, “Do we really need to talk about it? I went, took care of my guys’ ashes and came back. Yeah I was gone longer, but I needed time to think. I couldn’t do that…”

“While you were here. While you may have to face me, is that it?” She asked, looking up from her plate. He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“What about you? While I was gone, you’re out here setting up dates left and right. I know that was your one friend who doesn't think I’m shit who told you to do that and you did it! I had to hear it from Joel of all people. That was weird as shit.” he shook his head, recalling the conversation, it had been unnerving. 

Velora took a deep breath, “I told you about it when you came back and we finally talked before and we…I was honest about it. I didn’t need to hide, I came to fucking Joel’s house with all that damn pizza and listening to tess talking about meetings and travel! I didn’t want to go, seeing you…it, I was happy to know that you were okay, but I felt guilty and hurt Tommy.” Her eyes never parted from his, the intensity of them caused him to look away, but the veteran was drawn right back.

“I know. I was in shock when Sarah mentioned on the drive home that you were going to be there. I honestly didn’t think you would want to see me, given how I reacted when you said what you said after we made love. You can say it, you know Velora. We’ve made love twice now.” Tommy grinned, trying to lighten things up a bit, but to no avail.

“I know I told you that I needed time.” Velora paused to try and figure out her phrasing. Tommy titled his head, trying to anticipate what she may say, he hoped it wasn’t that they should see how things go. He was serious about moving their relationship forward. “I’d rather we talked about things and made some future plans. We skipped ahead on the babymaking front. I didn’t think I’d…well I knew I wanted to but…” Her cheeks were becoming hot once again, having a child with her best friend and crush Tommy Miller had been a fantasy. Now she may have actually done it without dating, marriage, deciding where they’re going to live, none of that. It made her giddy that he wanted to see her pregnant and have a child with her, but what would come with it? Was she prepared for that?

“Velora, well I won’t say relax because we’re needing to make some major decisions.” Tommy rose from his chair and stood behind Vel, placing one hand on each shoulder and kissed her temple. She took a few sips of water for her throat that was painfully dry now.  “One step at a time honey. It’s alright we don’t know right now. We just started this together. Plus we gotta move you into my house, this kitchen’s too damn small and I got room in my master bath to expand the shower.” Vel coughed on the water, setting an elbow on the table before cradling her forehead in it. 

“Lord above you really are trying to kill me Miller.” Their expressions of joy echoed through the small kitchen as they continued their meal and bikered about whose house should be sold, which mattress should be in the master bedroom and who has the better office.

Six months later…

Velora plops another rose near the mailbox. She already had brought three over from the back of Tommy’s truck. She had borrowed it to drive to the florist to pick up her order that she had placed last week. Set on adding more color to the front yard, she had added yellow tulips near the large front window that was off of the living room. Red was what she wanted on the corner around the mailbox. She took to gardening well, finding it was calming in addition to decorating her new home. She and Tommy had closed on her small home last month and were able to make a sizable profit from it. Due to the time constraints though, she sold much of her furniture except what was left to stage the house. Tommy, Joel and Sarah had helped moved her items into Tommy’s larger house. Velora had fussed about it, but she knew it was the right choice, moving into his house. It was her first house though, she remembered when Tommy had helped her move in.

Standing up from her leaning over position, she felt light-headed and had to lean on the mailbox, thankfully it was sturdy and she was quickly able to regain her balance. Her head swam for a minute but then calmed. It was happening more frequently and it worried her. Tommy had asked her to cut back on her hours at work, go to part time at the hospital. She was stubborn and refused, stating that it happened from time to time, she was fine, it would pass. It’s been two months of symptoms off and on again. What really worried her was her tender breasts and back pain. They didn’t seem connected and both had been happening since she hit puberty decades ago. She didn’t mention it to Tommy though, didn't want to worry him. Heading back inside the house, she called and made a doctor’s appointment, relenting that she may need to have things checked out, though whenever she had scans before they were always benign and she was advised to lose weight. “They’ll just tell me the same damn thing.”

Tommy was thriving, sure he had way too many pillows on his couch now, but he was able to convince Sweet Pea to keep some on the bed and in the guest bedrooms, at least break them up some. The little touches as far as plants, new colors of green, reds and yellows, nothing overbearing but more accents to his neutral home. In the pillows, but also in the towels, rugs, blankets for when they would watch movies on said couch and even a few shirts in his closet. He only wore those colors for her, no one else though. Tommy brought up the topic of marriage first saying that before a baby came, he wanted to have a ring on her finger and a certificate in his hand. Velora shook her head at him as usual and asked him how he planned to do that. She was washing dishes, wearing just one of her oversized t-shirts and panties. 

“Well, like this Sweet Pea. You thought you were gonna be stuck with me before. Now we’re going to make it official.”

“Miller, we moved in together three months ago, don’t you think it’s a little soon to-” His arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her cheek.

“No it’s not. I told you we’d do one step at a time. This is the next step. We can make it big or small. Besides, I got this ring on sale.” He chuckled in her ear and reached in his back pocket, pulling out a small box. Vel dried her hands and turned around.

“Tommy I’m not taking some mood ring you got on…that’s a box. An actual box.”

“Yes. Wait, you thought I was gonna fake you out with a mood ring? What kind of man do you take me for?” Tommy exaggerated his fake outrage, crossing his hand over his chest and stumbling back. “You wound me…Vel how could you?” 

Velora shook head again, her face in her hands, not believing what she was seeing. The punk did get her a ring. She hadn’t asked for one, she honestly thought it would be next year before she got one, they hadn’t even made wedding plans yet. “You keep surprising me every day Tommy. I find you as annoying as much as I adore you.”

“I’ll take that as a yes honey. Put this on so I can see it on the pretty hand of yours.” He removed the gold ring from the box and slid it on her finger. He held her hand as he moved it around, it appeared to be a little loose. “I was sure I got the size right. Vel, did you lose some weight?” His eyes squinted at her hand, they didn’t look much different so he released her hand and grabbed her hips making her gasp.

“Tommy! I haven’t lost any weight. We just have to get it re-sized. I’m still going to wear it anyway until we do. It’s beautiful.” She admired it, a 6 mm band with 1 carat diamond in an oval setting. “Wait, how much was this?”

Tommy ignored the question, his hands were roaming her hips and love handles, she felt a little less, though she didn’t look it. He would know, the man felt her up daily, several times a day. “Sweet Pea, when’s your appointment? I’m going to come with you.” Vel kissed his cheek before placing her left hand on it.

“You don’t need to, I’m fine. They’re just going to tell me I need to rest or drink more water or lose weight like they always do. It’s why I usually just go for my physical yearly and not much else.” She explained. Tommy knew not to press her too hard on it, they were both stubborn so he would just worry instead. A distraction was in order they had gotten a new dining room table, Vel had called his old table “musty” for the mismatched driftwood it had been made of. The dark cherrywood suited the otherwise light room perfectly, drawing your attention to it. 

Tommy used his hands on his fiancé’s hips to guide her back toward the table, he reached and lifted her ass onto the table. “What’s gotten into you now? Don’t be picking me up like that. You’ll end up with a back like your brother.” He tugged on her panties pulling them down to her knees and then off. Squating, he used his forearms to part her thighs before nibbling her sensitive skin. 

“If I get a bad back from lifting you Sweet Pea, I’m gonna make sure it’s well earned. Let me taste my fiance. I wonder if now you’ll be more savory or honeyed.” He felt her put her legs over his shoulders and place her calves against his back, by now, she was aware of the position he wanted her in for his meals.

“How does that make any sense? Shit…don’t just use one love. I always need more.” Her hips bucked at the insertion of his finger, he was teasing her, leaning toward her mound and inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with her scent, intoxicating as he found it.

“My greedy girl. I aim to please ya always.” A second digit followed, pumping into her down to the knuckle, usually he worked his fingers in slower but her juices were dribbling onto the wood table, making it glisten. “May have to use your nectar to polish the table later, Sweet Pea.” Tommy ran his other hand up her shirt, pulling it to reach her cushy belly. He placed a kiss on it before placing his hand on the small of her back and scooting her hips forward to start to curl his fingers inside of her, a small spongy depression he discovered inside her months ago that had her babble in between obscenities. Peering upward, his head was hung forward toward her chest, hands firmly on the table, arms taunt, forcing her pelvis to meet his hand. “Almost there Vel, a little more…” His thumb plucked the small bundle of red flesh hidden at the top of her slit. A feral growl left his love as his fingers were taken from her, thighs pulled his upper body forward. 

“Tommy…Either put your fingers back in or use your mouth. You will not leave me like this on our dining room table. Didn’t you just say you ‘aim to please’?” His snickers echoes against her drenched mound, his breath, rolling over her sweltering skin.

“I do, but you know I like my pleasantries. I’m a Southern gentleman.” Velora couldn’t see his face, but she could picture his lips curving upward, forever teasing her. She guessed she knew what it was about, she was able to keep her balance with one hand as the other twirled in his soft onyx waves.

“A gentleman now huh? Who leaves a lady wanting? Not sure I want a gentleman then. I want the same man who told me he was starving and I had to make sure he had a warm meal.” Her voice raspy from her screams, cracking when she spoke. Tommy flicked his tongue on her clit, then blew on it.

“Not my exact words, but I’d hate to make such a beautiful woman wait.” He felt Vel release his hair as he plunged into her moist cunt, lapping at entrance, grunting with the roll of her hips toward his face. His mustache tickled her clit each time he pulled back to take a small gasp of air. Her body went rigid as her peak was reached and Tommy shot up to wrap his arms around her waist easing her down on the table. “Easy Sweet Pea, easy Velora…” He kissed her chin, her hands reached for his face and licked his lips, 

“I think I’m more savory than Sweet love. May need to change my nickname.” The veteran’s head dropped into her chest, matching her laughter. He now knew how sturdy the new table was. It could stay.

One week later…

Joel pulled up to the florist’s shop. He needed to send flowers for the condolences of one of their frequent customers who would use them for construction contracts. The man’s mother had died and the elder Miller brother in his effort to be more sociable, was following more social cues. He also was doing what his daughter had suggested and ‘ghosting’ Tess. He didn’t feel great about it, but Sarah had advised to ignore her calls and texts since they couldn’t agree to which direction their relationship should go. Joel wanted a partner, someone who he would be comfortable having in his life with his daughter. Tess got along with Sarah just fine, because they didn’t spend much time together outside of a few weeks or a month. His sometimes partner was just fine with that arrangement, thus their disagreement. The man was currently distracted though so he wouldn’t be answering any calls, he was placing his order with the same florist who V had been getting her flowers from. On the glowing recommendation, he ventured into the shop and was met with a woman who had a silver streak in her otherwise strawberry blonde hair. She gave him a warm smile, wiped her hands off on her apron before reaching out for a handshake, it was firm and she had callaouses as well from the different plants she had worked with, a small pink mark was on her neck. Joel wondered what it was from, he did eventually place his order, but they ended up comparing handshakes, whose accent was stronger, discussing children, trucks and work boots. A warmth that Joel hadn’t felt since his wife passed spread in his chest, her name Andy, she had told him like the sheriff from ‘The Andy Griffith Show.” The two laughed over the reference and that their children had no idea who the man was. 

Velora sat next to Tommy on the plane. He had asked her to set aside three particular weeks in September. Vel agreed as long as he didn’t have a flash mob or a minister to marry them at an airport. He defended himself by telling her she may be the one to take them to a drive through wedding chapel if she can find one, just to save some time and money. Her head found Tommy’s shoulder, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. She felt safe and terrified. She hadn’t had a chance to speak with him before leaving the country, well maybe she did, but she got cold feet, she was also nervous. It was happy news, but more than anything, she didn’t want to stop working. She knew Tommy would insist on her not working or at the very least, going on light duty, a compromise. Not a bad one if she was being honest. The flight was nearly thirteen hours, Tommy had done this by himself? There were points when they did move around and chat about what their actual wedding plans would be. Something small at the courthouse with immediate family and a reception at their house in the backyard, unsure of where they were going for their honeymoon, it was decided they could figure that one out later. Holding Tommy’s hand as the plane finally started its descent, Velora resolved to tell him one way or another. 

The emerald grass crunched under their boots as they walked gingerly in the forest behind the cabin they were staying in. It was cozy and Tommy smiled to himself that Vel was indeed holding onto his arm for any warmth she could gather. He surprised her with the destination of Ireland, but he wanted to show her it’s beauty that he had seen on a much more somber trip. His fiance had been the first person he thought to bring here besides his brother and niece. They were on their way back from the same rocky outcrop that he spread the ashes over some months ago. Velora held his hand as he teared at the memory, glad that she was here with him this time and for every journey the pair would take after. Velora stopped and Tommy did as well, wondering why she had stopped walking.

“We’re almost there Sweet Pea. We can warm up and drink hot chocolate. Might even go out and try some brennivin. One glass though, it will knock you on your ass, almost got me.” He was trying to lighten the mood after this visit to the site. Vel shook her head and it made him confused, she looked nervous.

“I-I have something to tell you. Honestly, I had to think about it and wrap my head around it, because normally it's never anything.” A strong gust blew through the trees whipping the leaves loudly to where the puzzled man saw her mouth move but didn’t hear. He made out, ‘we’re…’ What? All of her body language changed, like she was about to burst, whatever it was it was happy, so was it what he thought?

“Say again Vel, I can’t hear you.” He pointed to his ears but she lunged toward him and cupped his face, giving his lips a peck. The wind had started to calm but was tossing her ponytail in every direction. “Tell me what earned me that.” He grinned.

“We’re pregnant! You’re going to be a father Tommy!” Snot was starting to run down her nose and her eyes were squinted due to the air currents, a mess, but to Tommy it was the face of the mother of his child. The only face he needed to see until the baby was born. His outcry of joy was matched by the enthusiasm in which he picked up Velora and spun her around. She screamed for him to put her down, her laughter spurring him on, eventually he did and tugged her along to their cabin where they lit the fireplace. 

Tommy insisted that they shower and she spread out on the bed so he can put his head to her belly. She assured her fiance that it was too early for that but no was not an option. As her nails lightly scratched his scalp, Tommy rubbed his head on his other half’s stomach, knowing that a new life was growing inside of her.

“Thank you Velora. You’ve given me so much over the years. Now you’re giving me a little Miller and a future too. I love you Sweet Pea.” Closing his eyes, he listened to Velora breathe, her hand was still in his hair but she had fallen asleep. With a light huff, his fingers ran up her arm and traced her jaw, ending on her soft lips. “I’ll tell you again when you wake up, Velora. Rest up honey, we’ve a long road ahead together.”

Moots who might like it: @maggiemayhemnj @laurfilijames @rhoorl @fhatbhabie @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @trulybetty @goodwithcheese @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @yorksgirl @guelyury @perotovar @saturn-rings-writes @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @legendary-pink-dot @undercoverpena @beabliss @grogusmum @sp00kymulderr @magpiepillsjunior @for-a-longlongtime @pamasaur @linzels-blog @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

[perryupdates]

Birb Goes On Health Sabbatical

Greetings! Apologies for having been quiet recently, I had some things to sort out that unfortunately lead to me writing this post - The TL;DR is that both my mental and physical health, but especially physical in this case, fully demand my time and energy right now. This sadly means no streams for the month of June, with a tenative return sometime in July, but I genuinely cannot promise anything. The somewhat longer version is that I did not start this year off on the best foot to begin with - I expected it would be a rough one mentally and I was sadly right (one of those things you really don't want to be right about but alas). Exacerbating that were physical health issues that recently finally became bad enough that I felt they were diagnoseable issues and not "merely" effects of my very fluctuating mental state. I have now been diagnosed with a type of tendonitis in my hands, particularly the left one, and ear issues that almost became another nasty ear infection, so I am now being treated for both. For the hands, this involves physical therapy on a weekly basis as well as several times daily treatment I have to apply at home. It's not hard, just even more to keep track of, when I am already having a hard time with doing exactly that! Next week I will also be seeing a neurologist to hopefully, finally make headway on getting proper help for my mental health. Without going into too much detail, there are reasons to believe that there might be something physical going on in the old brain beyond what I already know, so I'll have brain scans and other fun things in my future.  On top of all this, I am still attending driving school so I can get my drivers license, which takes up two evenings per week just with theory lessons alone. All in all, it's a lot for one tiny birb! Something had to give, and as much as I tried to avoid it, the give in this case has to be my streams and art.  Being an entertainer is my life and my career. It is not exaggeration when I say that I have tried many things, and I was bad at almost all of them, except for entertaining people. Bringing joy to people is my deepest passion, and I am immensely lucky that I can afford to do it as my job ... but it is still that, my job, and as such requires my energy, attention, and physical health to be there. Right now, I am at 0 out of 3 for those, and that's just not gonna work. I cannot say enough thanks for how lovely you, my audience, have been and how lucky and privileged I am to have an audience at all, let alone one that has treated me with kindness, patience, and great support. I can just tell I have not been at my best this year in general and I am extremely sorry that's not changing in the short term. Y'all deserve the best Perry, and I will do what I need to be that again! If you have read this far, remember I greatly appreciate you, and that I can only hope that you can stick around for when I am back. Be kind to yourself, and take it one day at a time. I will do the same! I'll try my best to pipe up sometimes on my Bluesky and elsewhere! Be well and see you soon, Perry

Posted using PostyBirb

[thelongestway]

Well, here we go again. :P Like with The Worst Movie Night, I'm not sure if this is the beginning of the fifth story, or if this is going to be a stand-alone short in between S4 and S5 (well, "short". About the size of S1-S3!). And I am waaay too sleepy to think about that now. (Which means this will probably need editing in the morning, but I wanted to post it now. :P )

But--as is traditional, no name for this story yet, and the point of view... Well, I had to give a point of view to the single most disliked character in this story cycle at some point, eh? :P

So without further ado,

Chapter 1: Choices

Have you ever sat there and realized that your life has been a series of terrible choices, and this is the moment you're paying for every single mistake?

I have. Several times. The latest of those moments was when Zaharije turned away from the clinic terminal and calmly asked me, "Do you have any armed conflict de-escalation training, Dr. Mrinal?"

That was enough to tear me away from my own terminal screen, where I had been trying to decipher the nightmare Encephalon Industries had made out of our latest patient's nerve system.

Some two system-years ago, back when I, an actual fucking idiot, decided to extend my vacation into a proper sabbatical and use it to do some good on the frontier, I would have scoffed at Zaharije. We were doctors, he and I--we weren't supposed to talk down armed and dangerous people! That was not our job!

But Zaharije saved my sorry arse when no one else stuck their neck out for it, and gave me a place to recuperate and recover, and eventually a job. To say that he was the reason I was still alive was hardly an overstatemement. So I simply said, "No, I don't. Are we going to need it?"

Zaharije nodded like he had been expecting the answer.

"Then you hide when corporate security try to break down the door. I will attempt to talk them down. If the attempt fails, you haven't been working here long and have no idea about any shady things that this doctor has been up to. You know what to do otherwise."

And he turned back to his terminal. I stared at him for a few moments, but he did not budge, obviously considering the conversation to be over. From prior experience, I knew there was nothing I could do about that, so I returned to our patient--despite knowing that sometime later today hired corporate goons would probably try to take our clinic by force, and my colleague would…

Oh, I'm sorry. I could also not lie, and "our clinic" was a lie. Well, not a real lie: just old Preservation habit that now had the flaw of being utterly and completely wrong. Nothing was ever really "yours" in the Corporation Rim. You were lucky if your organs were yours. That really wasn't a given. (I still had mine. Somehow. Partially by virtue of being someone with a profession the Rim valued, but mostly by sheer luck. And, as my colleague occasionally reminded me with his characteristic mix of kindness and cynicism, sheer privilege.)

(Yes, I considered barely making ends meet by working at this transit station's poorest clinic, catering to the people who couldn't afford corporate medical care, a bout of pure, unadulterated luck handed out by a kind soul to a privileged idiot. By the time I got this position, I realized just how much luck it really had been, and how much privilege I really had to be able to make use of it.)

It had been nearly two system-years since I decided to track down a terrorist cult that modified people's brains. Mrinal, I thought to myself, how bad could it be? You have unique knowledge of what their brains look like. You could go into the Rim, get a temporary medical position somewhere, do some good and watch out for people with weird brain scans in the meantime.

And then, you ask? You find the Public Universal Friends, Mrinal: what then?

Don't ask. My ideas were unrealistic then and embarrassing now. They are best left under a cloak of silence.

Cutting a long story short, I never came back from that sabbatical. Not because I was being a hero or something. I couldn't. I quite literally couldn't afford to pay passage back. Because I'd been stupid enough to take a position near a half-year's worth of jumps away from Preservation alliance, and now? I was afraid to leave. Because if my money ran out halfway on the journey back, who knows what sort of hell I'd be stuck in then? At least here I had stability. I wasn't sliding down the ladder, having to sell cloned organ tissue made from my cells or anything. (But if I had to, I could. We had the technology here. I wouldn't if I were moving.)

It would just take a little more time, and then I could go home. That's what I'd been telling myself.

But right now, staring at the horrible mess of nerves on my scans which had grown throughout the patient's body and almost hearing the clock timer ticking down in my feed interface, I knew it all for what it really was: a complete and utter lie.

Because I should have taken the risk and gone back to Preservation while I still had the chance, when Zaharije had offered his help with finding transportation. And now I never would. Because it was too late to leave. The corporate goons (and we'd be lucky if it wasn't SecUnits) would come, and sooner or later the door would give out, and we would both be arrested for refusing to give out a patient that Encephalon Industries had thrown out like so much refuse, and whose relatives brought him to us, begging us to see if something could be done at all.

It hadn't even been an hour after we connected the patient to our very outdated MedSystem that the corporation decided it wanted our patient back. Zaharije, who had been at this far longer than I was, told me to handle the patient while he handled the communications. He'd tried everything--denial, bargaining for a "better deal", deferring to our patrons on the top levels (because even we had patrons, of course; as Zaharije had explained to me when I dropped into his lap, completely out of my depth. Corporations wanted little charitable outfits like ours for plausible deniability, and those of us who wanted other things had to make deals in the darkness. Zaharije had been good at making those deals, as evidenced by him still running his clinic, but he had tried every trick in his considerable book and nothing had helped.)

And now, if the corporates finally came for us, he was going to try and to take the blame all on his own.

It was something he had made a condition when he first took me on. If something like this were to arise, he said, it would be his job, as the one whose name the clinic was officially in, to take the brunt of corporate malice. And my job was to make sure our patients got the care they required even after he was gone--like he had apparently done for his mentor, back in the day.

"You are under no obligation to continue your work with the clinic forever, should I be disappeared at any point," Zaharije had said when I balked at him discussing the subject so calmly. "But you must make sure the patients in our care have their treatment continued. Ideally, make sure there is a new provider serving the same population before you move on, but I understand very well that may not be possible. These are my terms. Will you take them?"

"Of course I will. It's the least anyone with a conscience could do," I said, flushing.

Zaharije just smiled at me and pushed a contract into my feed.

I remember feeling a flash of that old idealism as I signed. The patients always came first, no matter the circumstances. (And that over these last two years I had failed in that charge more often than I had succeeded did not mean that I would not keep trying. And now that I had an actual colleague whose heart was in the right place, I was hopeful I could start succeeding again.)

But now, when we were faced with the prospect of Zaharije actually disappearing, I felt like an utter coward. Because despite myself, I was so, so glad I wasn't going to be the one talking. Wasn't going to be the one led away by corporate guards. That I would be here, with the patients, doing my best for them, not… Not failing to protect them.

And what was I doing right now? Being a hypocrite.

I forced myself back to that utterly horrific scan. We had to keep the patient under full sedation, because otherwise I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain. The autoimmune response he was having was going to be horrific. And I really wasn't sure we had the right drugs to handle this. We had run out, and I was worried we hadn't been able to order more…

Holding my breath, I checked, and there was the first good news we had all day. We had them. Light, Zaharije's sourcing skills were amazing.

But I didn't have much time to dwell on them. When I went to the cabinet to get the drugs, there was a knock on the door.

Zaharije threw a glance my way and said quietly, "That's not security. I can see them on the cameras, those look like patients." Then, louder into the intercom: "Come."

The doors slid open and a large person in power armor walked in, carrying in their arms a much smaller person with basic wound sealant hastily applied to their abdomen.

"Hey, doctor," the armored person said, nodding at Zaharije, then to me: "Doctors. I keep hoping that your work is never needed, but somehow brennans always seem to get themselves into trouble, eh? This one needs surgery."

"A doctor's work is never done," Zaharije cracked a smile back. "Luckily, we have no one else in a critical state right now that demands as much immediate intervention and can take your friend on immediately. Dr. Mrinal, would you show them to the closest biobed and start the intake? I'll join you momentarily."

"Of course," I said, wondering if we'd have time to treat the patient properly before the assault. We'd have to be quick about it. "Please follow me."

I checked their feed IDs as we walked. The man in front of me was named Luca, and he appeared to be a mercenary of some kind, as was his brennan friend Pirro, and the wounds were from obvious weapons fire. I wondered briefly whether this made our situation better or worse, but it wasn't really something I could dedicate my attention to right now. I had a patient to work on.

The armored man put Pirro down on the biobed and I urged him to sit down in the corner as I worked. He nodded gratefully and obeyed, finally retracting his helmet as he did so.

And I was very, very glad to be able to immediately look back to the patient once I saw the face beneath.

I knew that face. It had come up in my nightmares for the last two years despite all the trauma treatments I had gotten over that time. The face of the person whose kidnapping had led me to strike out towards the Corporation Rim.

Whose presence here meant that I had been on the right track all along, for all the good it did me.

Luca--no, the Public Universal Friend--caught my expression and grinned.

[mattsundaes]

hii omg i haven't been in your inbox in so long <//3 my little spot is collecting dust </3 I have some thought for you hehe <333 I don't believe you've gotten a full fledged inbox infiltration yet- so here you go <33

Oliver Aiku

I know this man is a tease he'll make you beg for it and just trace his fingers around the outside of your entrance and smirk at you until you beg

"what's wrong?" and he acts like he's not teasing you horribly

alternatively i know this man is the whiniest man ever if you ever decide to tease him

pull his hair. idk i can feel it in my soul that he likes when you pull his hair. especially when he's eating you out omg.

Kuroo (i've missed my boy </3)

i'm having horrendous thoughts of tying him up with his tie when he gets home from work. of him coming through the door and you pulling him to the bedroom and not letting him cum as you tease him while his hands are tied to the bedframe. and he's whining and writhing and you tell him that if he bucks his hips up he doesn't get to cum and unfortunately for him he can't help himself when he's getting close. and when he asks you why you're doing all this it's because he didn't do the dishes like he promised.

alternatively if you're the one who wants their guts rearranged. him coming home after a really bad day. everyone spoke over him in meetings and he didn't get to have his lunch because all of his meetings got scheduled back to back and people kept coming to his office needing things. point is. it was a bad day. when he gets home he bends you over the arm of the couch and finally takes his tie off, he wraps the fabric around your hands and uses it as leverage as he fucks you.

okay that's all my thoughts, have a good day <3 i hope you've been taking care of yourself <3333 just pop into my dms if you want the main/discord mwa mwa, take care and be kind to yourself <333

-love bug 🍪

BUG HI HI HELLO it's so nice to hear from you. i hope that you're doing well + that you had a lovely week 🫶

you're absolutely right, oliver is a horrible awful terrible tease who lives to act like the portrait of innocence until you've successfully reached his begging quota. AND PULLING! HIS! HAIR! i have such a vivid mental image of this i need to sit down. like the sounds he makes.................help.

(i miss kuroo too i haven't yapped about him enough lately i needed this 😌)

RAHHHHHHH TYING KUROO UP WITH HIS OWN TIE. TEASING AND EDGING HIM OVER NOT DOING THE DISHES pls i can just HEAR his pleading, begging tone as he's desperately leaning forward trying to kiss you while he's whining and promising that he'll crawl to do them on his hands and knees if you just pleasepleaseplease let him—

and oh.........oh now we're switching gears....over the arm of the couch..........bound with his tie.....yeah so my brain is shutting off actually :') going to need to take a sabbatical to be alone with my thoughts for a little while.

thank u so much for dropping in bug. it's been such a long week and this is exactly what i needed :')<3