#bad bad chaka

[9misoundsystem]

Chaka Demus - Bad Bad Chaka

[skrunksthatwunk]

SOME OF HIDENARI UGAKI'S FIRST VA ROLES WERE IN YU YU HAKUSHO OMG. CROSSOVER EVENT

[emma-ofnormandy]

"I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect. Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan." Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)

[70smarauderz]

my 1970/80s celebrities face claims for the marauders era characters

James Potter

listen this one is gonna sound hilarious but HEAR ME OUT THO jfk jr. like look at the hair and tell me u don’t see it even a little bit, i do kinda have a fc for a desi!james but it’s 100% based on me falling in love with an actors smile and im not sold on the hair (look up young akshay kumar if you’re curious)

Sirius Black

there are a few choices Steve Tyler, Mick Jagger or Keith Richards and while i do love all of them and have a soft spot for mick jagger i have been leaning towards Keith a bit more lately

Remus Lupin

i love thinking about the bowie vibes remus gave off but LISTEN: IAN CURTIS

Peter Pettigrew

i don’t have much to say about this one i just looked at paul young and it felt right peter 100% would style his hair like that idk what to tell u

Lily Evans

jane seymour u are lily to me, u don’t understand that’s how i picture lily i don’t care that her hair is not reallyyyy red that’s literally the lily i saw in my head when i read the books

Marlene Mckinnon

this one was just too easy marlene mckinnon u just are debbie harry to me

Dorcas Meadowes

if marlene was the easiest dorcas was the hardest NO ONE looks like dorcas to me, the only person who comes close is chaka khan because of her smile

Mary MacDonald

i wanted put diahann carroll as mary so bad (because im a little bit obsessed with her) but i already feel like im cheating putting ppl born in the 40s lol, this is brenda sykes and i thing she has the same something in her eyes idk that young diahann has that reminds me of mary

Emmeline Vance

much like jane seymour is lily evans, rekha just is emmeline vance to me idk what to tell you

Frank Longbottom

i don’t even think frank smoked or had a cool look but this specific picture of Joe Strummer grabbed me by the neck and said i am frank longbottom and i had no choice but to agree

you know how i said Dorcas was the hardest? i lied, i have no idea who Alice, Snape or Regulus would be/look like

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1116 - Initial Thoughts

The lore keeps coming, and more is still to come

Vegapunk has been dropping bombs while Egghead descends into fiery chaos, let's see what more he can tell us

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release too

A bento from Tsuru this time for Yamato, don't like that Ushimaru's still hovering around there, he got his shit slapped by Luffy sure but he profited from Orochi's rule

The world continues to question Vegapunk's revelations, how can such island-destroying weapons still exist? Who could live for 800 years to continue the war?

Who indeed, as we see more of Imu's room

They stand at a big portrait, she looks like Vivi but I'd bet on this being Nefetari D. Lily

Alabasta remains in mourning too, Igaram and Karoo continue to worry about Vivi being missing

Chaka and Pell attend Cobra's funeral

During this, Vegapunk reveals how he had sought a clean energy source, and that as a result he was able to create the Mother Flame

Wait, Lulusia was done by a fragment of it?? The WG stole it from Vegapunk?

The CP agents and Seraphim look in a bad way from the landing too

Edison and Stussy discuss what happened, surmising that another Gorosei is moving up to the Labophase

Edison can't help the Straw Hats anymore either, since the clouds can't reach them anymore

Stussy, to his surprise, requests that Kaku be freed - insisting that she won't let them target the crew, but doubt that's his priority

Edison apologizes for Stussy, noting that she identified the CP0 lot as her friends and was still chose Vegapunk over them

Kaku you better pull through after this, this is thrice now your life has been spared

Edison points out that her conflict is proof of her humanity, and encourages to live how she pleases

Back to Vegapunk, he explains how the Mother Flame's theft led to Lulusia

The Lulusia survivors with the Revolutionary Army have to sit and hear how their country was wiped out by an unprovoked assault

Elizabello cameo as he didn't even know that Lulusia was taken down, and asks to confirm it

The Mother Flame fragment was used to power an ancient weapon, all but hinting that the WG have Uranus as we expected

Vegapunk apologizes in the video, declaring himself an accessory to murder, while also pointing out that it has likely proven his theory

It seems many in the crowd don't hold Vegapunk accountable though

Momo however is again being very attentive, asking what that means for Pluton

Crocodile is also listening intently, given his desires for Pluton

And we pan over to Shirahoshi too, since she's also an Ancient Weapon

Vegapunk says that Joy Boy attempted to pass down the Ancient Weapons, which begets the question why? Why encourage the flooding of the world?

Sengoku is stress eating through this too

Vegapunk also points out that there are those who know about the Void Century

Akainu also seems intrigued - in his own angry way - about Vegapunk spilling the deets

As we already knew, Roger's crew know the secrets

The Navy however did not know, freaking out that pirates know

Of course, many of the public are also baffled that 'evil pirates' have been trusted with such information

York is having a freak out too, wondering how Vegapunk could've known that she stole the Mother Flame for the Gorosei

He's apparently a bad liar and actor, so she starts connecting the dots; his surprise at her betrayal, the preparation of the broadcast, the hiding of the snail

Wormy's back, and nah he's just up and eating the CP agents

York hits a brainwave though, the broadcast snail is in the Fabiostratum

The Iron Giant is guarding it!

Back at Sabaody, Vegapunk's broadcast muses why the Roger Pirates kept such information secret? Why fade into hiding?

Rayleigh meanwhile is drinking heavier than usual, accusing Vegapunk of telling the world too much

He doesn't want Vegapunk to take the thrill of knowing away

Oooof, another week break

Well what is that supposed to mean huh?

Lore-wise nothing was really dropped from Vegapunk that we didn't already know, aside that the weapon used on Lulusia was powered partially by the Mother Flame. But it still gives some questions.

Why would Rayleigh be excited about the idea of a flooded planet? Was there more to the Ancient Weapons? If the sea levels rose 200m in the Void Century was Joy Boy behind it? A Sea of Pirates perhaps?

And what's with the Lily poster Imu? You wanted to murder Vivi and yet you have a portrait of her ancestor, an ancestor they criticized to Cobra, in your special little vivarium room?

Kaku and Stussy meanwhile look like they're planning an exit, though I still don't trust Lucci to try and go for the double tap. The question now however is if Kaku will take the out? I know we all want him to but we also wanted Kizaru to turn face and...yeah look where that got us?

Not many super surprising cameos this time, I guess Elizabello II is one, a fellow Grand Fleet Member and King would have stock in learning that a nation was wiped out by the WG. And we got to see Crocodile but no dialogue. Heck we didn't even see any Straw Hats this time! The question on my mind still though is this: why was video needed? What visual does Vegapunk still need to show?

The Iron Giant at least has a purpose now, being the front line for the broadcast snail, but that puts a target on his back, as does being a Roger Pirate now, Buggy's legacy will only grow given how they'll assume that he holds ancient knowledge XD

As usual though, more questions than answers.

[bengiyo]

Comfort Films Tag

Rules: List 7 of your comfort movies, then tag 7 people.

Tagged by @callipigio

1 - Shelter (2007)

I often joke around here about how I’ve been watching queer cinema for over half of my life at this point, and it’s easy to recommend this film. This is a coming of age film about a guy who gave up art school to become the primary breadwinner and caregiver for his family. However, when the older brother of his best friend returns to their town to collect himself, our artist and he reconnect and find something special between them. Great use of a young actor in this shores up the caregiving aspects.

I’m probably going to rewatch it now. Because it was produced by Here! TV, you can only legally watch it via a subscription to their platform. I own it on DVD because I fell in love with it and knew I needed to keep it forever.

2 - Big Eden (2000)

Big Eden. Oh, Big Eden. This is the film equivalent of a warm blanket and a tight hug. It’s about an artist named Henry Hart, who is preparing for a big exhibition in New York when he’s called back home to Montana because his uncle has had a stroke. We are greatest with the most queer-friendly town to ever exist as Henry manages his old angst about his straight best friend as the local general store owner also secretly pursues him. It’s absolutely lovely.

3 - The Blues Brothers (1980)

Luna has great taste, because this is one of the best films ever made. What was originally just an SNL bit turns into a fun road film about getting the band back together so that two brothers can raise enough money to pay the back taxes owed by the orphanage they grew up in. We also run over Illinois nazis in this movie and demolish dozens of cop cars. Cab Calloway, James Brown, Carrie Fisher, Chaka Khan, Paul Reubens, and Aretha Franklin are in it. John Candy orders orange whips. This is the kind of film I would watch with my dad any time it was on.

4 - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

This is one of the most man movies ever made. I don’t know any woman who wants to sit down and watch this film, but me and boys will spend an entire afternoon on this film in a heartbeat. The sexual tension between Russell Crowe’s and Paul Bettany’s characters goes unremarked on this website in a way that lets you know for sure this hellsite is dominated by femmes, because those two have definitely fucked. At least twice. It’s 1805 and oceans have become battlefields!

5 - Clue (1985)

A movie based on the board game of the same name should not have been this good, but it instead goes on to become a camp masterpiece. Many people will end up remembering Tim Curry for Rocky Horror or even Muppet Treasure Island, but this is still one of his favorite performances for me. This film is batshit and I love it. 

6 - Camp (2003)

Speaking of camp films, let’s talk about one of the best of all time. I know we often talk about the bad singing in Thai BL, but I unironically love all of the musical theater in this film. I regularly listen to this soundtrack, and have been for over 15 years. It’s a film about a bunch of weird theater kids who get to escape the bullying and hellishness of their lives for a few weeks during the summer, where they get to put on a bunch of classic plays. It’s so camp. I love this film because it was difficult for me to find queer films that had happy components with them, and this little movie has a wide array of queer kids in it.

7 - Make The Yuletide Gay (2009)

This was the first queer film I ever watched that had a happy ending that was also a comedy. Prior to this, I think I had watched Beautiful Thing (1996), Edge of Seventeen (1998), Get Real (1998), and Bent (1997). Most of those films ended resolved or sad. Yuletide is a silly little gay film of almost nonstop innuendo about a guy who goes back into the closet when he returns home for Christmas, but hijinks ensue when his boyfriend shows up unexpectedly. It’s an annual watch for me around the holidays, and I usually host people for it. 

Also, Adamo Ruggiero is in it! He played Marco on Degrassi: The Next Generation.

This was fun! I think most folks have been tagged that I know, but I’ll tag @warningtothecurious​. If anyone else does this, please tag me back if you do this! I want to know what films you all return to.

[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #36: 1985

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Wham!, Madonna, Wham!, Foreigner, Chaka Khan, Daryl Hall & John Oates, Tears for Fears, Dire Straits, Madonna, a-Ha. End description]

More information about this blog here

1985 showcases many significant moments in pop music history. For one, this was the year of Live Aid and We Are the World -- two high profile instances of the charity single and the benefit concert. Today's poll also features one of the first uses of computer-animated human characters with Dire Straits' Money for Nothing. The team behind the video, Gavin Blair and Ian Pearson, continued working in the field of computer animation. Under their new company, Mainframe Entertainment, they also created the animated TV series, Reboot. With their extremely prolific work in computer animation, there have been some accounts that they're not thrilled being reduced to just "the Money or Nothing guys". They reference the music video in an episode of Reboot.

But one of the biggest things to mention here in my opinion is the presence of Madonna. While her first singles were released earlier in the decade, 1984 and 1985 is really when we see her moment take off. In 1984, Madonna performed Like a Virgin at the MTV VMAs and the number culminated in her rolling around on stage in a wedding dress. The performance was controversial and there were those who saw it was career suicide, but the backlash wasn't enough to stop her upward momentum. If anything, the backlash made her more of an icon in the public eye. Like Michael Jackson and Prince, the decade doesn't make sense without considering her influence, both in music and in aesthetic.

Speaking of Prince, his presence on the charts is once again featured on this poll with the inclusion of Chaka Khan's I Feel for You. The song was originally performed by Prince in 1979 and he returns to provide vocals and instrumentation to Chaka Khan's cover. However, I'm bringing it up to draw attention to the music video. As I mentioned in my way-too-long 1973 ramble, hip-hop and rap have already been in existence for a while (by this poll, the subculture has been around for over a decade) and has found some significant success. I've resisted the urge to ramble about The Message and Rapper's Delight, since those songs didn't get as much Billboard pop success and I try (oh god do I try) to keep these posts focused. However, the 1980's is when we start to see more mainstream audiences forming for the genre. It will be a while until we see rap itself find its place on these polls, but by this point, the movement was recognizable enough to the general public.

And, of course, there is another notable music moment that happened this year. I am of course talking about the release of post-punk band Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' second studio album, The Firstborn is Dead.

[cuntyglam]

characters i would fight netflix to see in live action:

kiwi and mozu. i know they’re kinda minor characters so i’m worried they’ll be cut but i adore them !!

chaka and pell: i’m so worried that one of them will be cut and i need BOTH

kalgara: i’m pretty sure if they get to skypeia they’ll include him but i love him so much i need him NOW

sogeking: SOGEKINGGGG I WANT TO SEE JACOB AS SOGEKING SO BAD I LOVE HIM !! i know sogeking is just usopp but it’s DIFFERENT

bon clay: I LOVE HER I LOVE HIM I LOVE HERRR i need them NEOW

i might reblog and add to this but this is all i can think of for now. also of course in excited to see robin and franky in opla too !! and i’m so curious about what they’re doing with croc

[odi-et-amo85]

Heartbreak High, the reboot

While binging all of the seasons of OG Heartbreak High (don’t you just love the 90s? 🥹), I discovered there was a reboot of the show released in 2022. But to my utter astonishment, they decided to my men, former bad boy/ current best boii, Peter Rivers so dirty by remaking him into “an ex-racist, sexist, homophobic man, likely formerly transphobic too” (©️ fandom). What the hell were they thinking?! Admittedly, he was a douche, but then again this is the same dude who at some point was friends with Rose, Jack, and Chaka (🇱🇧🇻🇳🇸🇻 respectively); started a very groundbreaking albeit illicit relationship with his teacher (whatever happened to Sam anyway?!); and as far as I could see showed nothing but respect for his gay teacher (albeit with an attitude because he is…you know “Rivers” 🤷). Said teacher was the only queer character I could find up until Rivers’ departure, because well this was Australia in the 90s I suppose? But I can’t see how he would’ve acted any different to any other queer character, than with his typical attitude.

The thing I loved most about Rivers is that he is an incredibly complex character, with a lot of different layers of problems. A difficult relationship with his very problematic parents, a tendency towards overcompensating by acting all tough, and a real difficulty with seeking help. Not in the last place because he suffers from prejudice and stigma. Whenever something foul has been committed, the cops first look for him.

Admittedly, I haven’t watched the reboot yet. (I still have approximately four seasons of OG to go through. 🫣) But you’re seriously expecting me to believe that this multilayered character, the guy with so many different sides, this dude who when it mattered always was there to help his friends. HE is nothing but a recovering sexist racist homophobic piece of vermin?!

[fritextramole]

nothing was right and nothing's wrong

part 5 of a Serena van der Woodsen playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

Menace ~ Maya Hawke

I want to behave It's a small concession All my regressions I don't understand But they're painful old news

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now ~ The Smiths

Two lovers entwined pass me by And heaven knows I'm miserable now

Piece of Me ~ Britney Spears

You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me I'm Miss bad media karma Another day another drama

Cheap Queen ~ King Princess

I'm gettin' too cocky since everyone wants me It's harder to be myself

Brand New City ~ Mitski

I think my ways are wearing me down But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn't know how to be alive I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die

Hot Mess ~ dodie

Wake up, do the same thing Break up, then we're dancin' Why am I so alright to do it again and again?

I’m a Ruin ~ MARINA

I've had my share of beautiful men But I'm still young And I want to love again

Bad Friend ~ Rina Sawayama

But the truth is I'm so good at crashing in Making sparks and shit but then I'm a bad, I'm a bad, I'm a bad friend So don't ask me where I've been Been avoiding everything

Los Ageless ~ St. Vincent

I'm a monster and you're my sacred cow I guess that's just me, honey, I guess that's how I'm built I try to tell you I love you and it comes out all sick

Special Girl ~ dodie

I was raised by open mouths and teary eyes Passive wistful lullabies I found my worth in this world By proving I’m a special girl

Runs in the Family ~ Amanda Palmer

But don't blame me because I can't help where I come from And running is something that we've always done well And mostly I can't even tell what I'm running from Run from their pity, from responsibility Run from the country and run from the city

They Say I’m Different ~ Betty Davis

You play the blues for me And that's why, and that's why, and that's why they say I'm different

You Stupid Bitch ~ girl in red

When you cry and need my comfort I drop everything to come over Don't bite your lip or grit your teeth Just count to ten and try to breathe

Lollipop ~ MIKA

I went walkin' with my mama one day When she warned me what people say Live your life until love is found 'Cause love's gonna get you down

7 rings ~ Ariana Grande

My smile is beamin', my skin is gleamin' The way it shine, I know you've seen it I bought a crib just for the closet Both his and hers, I want it, I got it, yeah

I’m Every Woman ~ Chaka Khan

I can cast a spell of secrets you can tell Mix a special brew, put fire inside of you

[bottlepiecemuses]

Man, Poor Chaka, Pell, And Igaram

They would not only lose their king, but also their princess would go missing. This really is as bad as the Crocodile incident. 

[haml3t]

Tagged by @rnangopantsu 😽💟!

The rules are: Shuffle your On Repeat playlist and share 10 tracks, then tag 10 people so off we go!

My Summer Vacation - Ice Cube

Oogum Boogum Song - Brenton Wood

Back On 74 - Jungle

I’m Every Woman - Chaka Khan

Bop Gun - Ice Cube

She’s a Bad Mama Jama - Carl Carlton

Big Ideas - Arctic Monkeys

Mr. Sandman - The Chordettes

Take It or Leave It - Cage The Elephant

Bend The Rules (Mndsgn Remix) - Chromeo

I tag @traa-la-laa @buggydclovvn @hilsondivorce @reihun @nicholasbritellhive @azzarh @actualnymph @gapsof-sunlight @4pocalypse @alexturner2005

[kyros-tha-soldier]

Chapter 1084 spoilers

-Vivi is slay queening in this one yaaaaas we Stan a queen who stands up for herself and the others

-any Pell and Chaka fans... RIP, i know how it feels 😔

-Alabasta Lore, INTERESTING lore ngl

-Oda trying to make sense out of the "Nami sameface" thingy

-king Cobra is doomed

-Fatass Charloss tries to kidnap Shirahoshi, gets folded by Sai and Leo (the actual true GS of the reverie) and reprimanded by rebecca (my cute smol gladiator pwincess 😳)

-The Revos save Kuma and Morley takes him underground. A pissed of Bonney (my poor bon bon 🥺) is mad at the revolutionaries since she thinks they dragged him into this

-Morley makes some stupid ass comment about Boney cooperating blah blah blah like? The girl wants her dad so bad? Tf?

fuck Morley all my homies hate Morley okay I take back what I said about Morley, we Stan a queen who FLOORED aramaki yesss

-the dressrosa committee suspects that something is wrong and leave immediately (they know not to screw around with those filthy celestial dragons, they already had Doffy wreck shit up)

-Im Sama talking to King Cobra about a past Alabasta queen and generational guilt or some stuff (Im looks HUGE, like real tall!)

[avaetin]

Door of Orpheus, but...

Nico: We’re here.

Jason: Where exactly is here?

Nico (points at the rocks): We’ll enter the Underworld through there.

Percy: Ah. This does not bring back good memories.

Hazel: There’s an entrance through here. I can sense it.

Nico: Yeah. That’s the Door of Orpheus, one of the two major entrances to the Underworld.

Percy: I’m genuinely surprised your dad never bothered to relocate it after we used it the first time.

Nico: Maybe he thought we weren’t stupid enough to use it a second time.

Percy: Proved him wrong, didn’t we?

Nico: (trying not to smile) Anyway, can one of you please sing so that it will open?

Reyna and Hazel: (shakes their heads)

Annabeth: I’m going to pass on this one.

Percy: Well, Grace. I guess this is our moment.

Jason (smiling): Is it now?

Percy: Yeah. (whispers to Jason) Let’s go with this one.

Jason (shaking his head): This is not going to end well. (clears his throat)

Nico (getting a bad feeling): What are you both going to sing?

Jason: Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga. Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga-

Reyna, Hazel and Annabeth: (looks mortified)

Nico: What in-

Jason: Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga. Ooga-Chaka Ooga-Ooga-

Percy (sings very off-key): I can't stop this feeling deep inside of me-

Aeon: (winces)

Nico: Oh gods... (covers his ears)

Percy: Girl, you just don't realize what you do to me (wiggles his eyebrows at Annabeth)

Annabeth: (covers her face in second-hand embarrassment)

Jason: (still chanting at the back, regretting more by the second)

Percy: When you hold me in your arms so tight, you let me know everything's alright-

Hazel (covering her ears at this point): Why does it feel as if the entrance is getting smaller, as if it’s closing instead?

Percy: Ahh-a-ahh-a-MMPH!

Nico (shoves an unopened Twinkie in his mouth): Shut up! We’re trying to open the door, not close it forever!

[milfweirdal]

(quiet background laughter)! (wild guitar solo and intense drumming) (cheery tooting) WELL. I'm not the brightest crayon, in the boooxxx. (chaotic and playful melody) eeeEEveryone says I'm dumber, than a bag of roo-oocks. (chaotic and playful melody) (stanky slap bass) I barely even know… how to put on my own pa-ANts!! But I'm a genius in France (YEAH), genius in France (guitar squeal) genius in Fraaannce! (drumroll) Hoom chaka laka hoom chaka laka hoom chaka! I may not be the sharpest hunk of chee-ee-ese… (chaotic and playful melody) I got a negative number on my Ess Ay Teesssss… (chaotic and playful melody) (wibbling synth) I'm not good lookin'!! and I - don't know how to da-AANce! ButneverthelessandinspiteoftheevidenceIamstillwidelyconsideredtobe a genius in France, genius in France, genius in FRAAANCE! (electronic splart) (ding) (blibilbiliblbi) (twinklewtwinkletwinkle) (DONG) (click) (quack) (chaotic brass honking) People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak, an annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physiiiiique! (jaunty bassline) If I was any dumber… they'd have to water-me-twice a WEEEEEEEK! (drum fill) But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek (brass honk) they dig my mystique, they say I'm c'est magnifique (brass honk) When I'm in Par-ee, (suddenly accordioning Frenchly) I'm the chiiiiiic-est of the chiiiiiiic! (drum fill) They love my body odor and my bad toupee, they love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret. And when I'm sipping (carefree guitar riff) on a Perrieeeee-e-e-er (bow! dwey doo dwey doo! bow! dwey doo dwey doo!) in some café down in St. Tropeeee-e-e-ez, it's hard to keep the fans at bay! (yeah.) They say, "SIGN MY POODLE. SIL-VOUS PLAAAAIT? SIGN MY POODLE. SIL-VOUS PLAAAAIT?” Hemeneneh humeneneh himeneneh homeneneh POODLE. POODLE. (fucknasty guitar solo) (weird rattley instrument) (low tone) Folks in my hometooown… think I'm a fooool… Got too much chloriiiine… in my gene pooool. (normal tone) A few peas short of a casserole? (drum fill) A few buttons missing on my remote control?! (low quiet background screech) A few fries short of a happy meal? (drum fill) I couldn't pour water out of a boot - with instructions on the heel! Instructions on the heeeeeeel? Instructions on the heel. (drum fill) (jangly carefree guitar) But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants! (weirdly echoey dog bark) Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants! And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this respoOOONSE! (He's a genius in France, genius in France!!) That's right! (He's a genius in France, genius in France!!) You know it! (He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in FRAAANCE!) (drum fill) (electronic squimp and blooping) I'm not the brightest buuulb on the Christmas treeeee… (chaotic and playful melody) But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree… (chaotic and playful melody) (oddly seductive tone of voice) They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur…” (normal tone) would you take ze picture with meeee?!" I say, "Ouuuii, ouuuuiiii". That's right, I say, "Ouuuui, ouiiiii". "Ouuuuiiii, ouuuuiiii". He says, "Ouuuuuiii, ouuuuiiiiii…" I'm dumber than a box of hair~! But those Frenchies don't seem to care~! Don't know why, mon frère, but they love me there. I'm a genius in France! (YEAH) I'm a genius in France! (wah-wah guitar riff) Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Ca-A-A-Annes! Gonna make those Frenchies scream: "You ze man, you ze man, you ze man!!" Like a fine Renooiirr (OOOIRRRRR), I've got that je ne sais quoooiii (QUOIIIIIIII), Like a fine Renooiirr (Oooh-la-laa!) I've got that je – ne - sais - quoi quoi-quoi quoi-quoooiii!! (da-dey-dey) oo-we-ooooooo~ (yeah) Quoi quoi-quoi quoi-quoooiii!! (da-dey-dey) oo-we-ooooooo~ (di-di di di) Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy bowwww. (snort snort-snort) (gong and warbling synth) I'm a taco short of a combo plate, but by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great. Oh, the men all faint and the women scream, they like me more than heavy cream. When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy. My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie! (APPLE PIIIEE!) They think I'm awfully witty, a riot and a half. When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (HONH HONH HONH HONH HONH) and laugh (HONH HONH HONH HONH HONH HONHHH). People in France have lots of attituuude. They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting foooood. But when they see me, they just come unGLUUUUUUED! They think that I-am-one-happening DUUUUDE! Bowm ba-ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm - I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball. But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle. Entre nous, it's very true. The room temperature's, higher than my IQ. But they love me more than Gerard Depardiiieeuuuu… How did this happen? I don't have a clue. (YEAHH.) (more fucknasty bass and guitar) Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the faaa-arm… (normal brass honking) I don't have any skills or grace - or chaaarrm… (chaotic brass honking) And most people look at me… like I'm all covered with ants… but I'm a genius in France (YEAH!), genius in France (guitar squeal) genius in Fraaance!! (drum fill) (cheerful banjo riffing) And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back! I'm nevernevernevernever goin' back home again! I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket. Gonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it! 'Cause I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back, I'm nevveeeer gooooin' baaaack. The girls back home never gave me a chance. But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance. And I'm aware that it's a most improbable - circumstaaance, but GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, I'm a genius in France. (descending guitar riff) Every Frenchie that I meet. Just can't wait to kiss my feet. Get in line, pucker up, tout suite! Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy. I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour. I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power. Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower…. (brass honking) A little more to the left, booooys, a little more to the leeeeft. A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the leeft~. (brass honking) (extended guitar and horns solo) (rattling and ringing) I'm the biggest dork there is alii-iiive! (chaotic and playful melody) My mom picked out my clothes for me…. 'til I was thirty-fiiiive! (chaotic and playful melody) And I forgot to mention!!! I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention!!! But the Frenchies think - that my poop don't stink - I'm a genius in FraaaaaAAAANNNCEEE? (final guitar solo) (in the smuggest tone of voice possible) Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon? Merci beaucoup!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

It’s hard to deny that in the 2000s, Will Ferrell was the comedy star. Starting off with minor roles in stuff like Austin Powers and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Ferrell hit it big in 2003 with the Christmas classic Elf, and then followed that up with the wacky newscaster comedy masterpiece Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. From there, the hits just kept coming: Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, Blades of Glory, Stranger Than Fiction, Curious George, and even a hilarious one-scene cameo in the Wedding Crashers. The man was on top of the world!

But then came 2009’s Land of the Lost. Based on a campy 70s sci-fi series, the movie was a pretty big bomb coming from such a massively successful actor; on a budget of a hundred million, it only managed to make about sixty-nine million back. Director Brad Silberling was relegated to producing TV after this, and poor Ferrell’s prospects as a leading man completely shriveled up overnight. After this, he basically has only co-starred in stuff like The Other Guys or done voice work for films like Megamind and The Lego Movie. Any attempts to get him back on top have been pretty middling, to put it lightly; does anyone remember Anchorman’s sequel? Does anyone want to remember Holmes & Watson?

But come on, it’s a 2000s Will Ferrell comedy! He was in his prime back then! Surely this wacky spoof of some goofy show from the 70s couldn’t honestly be that bad, right? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Was it justice that Will Ferrell’s promising leading man rep was lost harder than a Sleestak’s skin during sex, or is this a hidden gem unfairly judged because people didn’t understand it was meant to be a parody?

THE GOOD

The Sleestaks are easily the best part of the film, at least when they don’t have those awful CGI mouths transplanted on them. The suits look great, they’re weirdly adorable lizard people, and they mercifully didn’t go with the awful, edgy redesign from the 90s reboot. These guys are pure goofy 70s camp. 

The score of all things is solid too. Michael fucking Giacchino did the score! And it fucking rocks! Unbelievable!

...Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

THE BAD

Oh where do I even fucking start? How about with Ferrell himself?

Look, I’m a big Will Ferrell apologist. His comedies tend to be absurdly lowbrow, especially something like Step Brothers, but he has a certain manic energy that makes him fun to watch. Here, though? All of the negative aspects of his acting are cranked up t eleven. He’s shoutier, he’s douchier, he’s just obnoxious and ridiculous… He’s just utterly unpleasant in this role.

It’s not like anyone else is remotely pleasant, though! Danny McBride especially is obnoxious in this film, and Anna Friel is boring and forgettable, but as bad as they are neither of their characters hold a candle to Chaka. Played by Jorma Taccone (of all fucking people!), he is an obnoxious chattering monkey man who is basically treated like a servant and who is played so obnoxiously that I swear to God he feels like he’s racist somehow. I don’t know what race this would offend, but it just has some sort of rancid vibes that only a racist caricature does.

The CGI throughout this film is just utterly ass. Like there is an awful CGI dinosaur antagonist, and at one point Will Ferrell vaults into its mouth, and at another he slides down its back, and both of them are effects so bad they make Sharktopus look like Avatar in comparison. I’m guessing that hundred million mostly went to Ferrell’s paycheck and the Sleestak suits, because it sure as hell didn’t go into the visuals.

Truly the worst thing about this movie is that its very existence feels cruel and mean-spirited. I have never watched the original show at all, but this parody is absolutely barefaced with its contempt for the source material. It just oozes a lack of care, passion, or respect beyond surface level stuff like the Sleestaks; do you know how much the characters are mangled from the show to the screen? The big bad of this movie is a fucking ally on the show! Imagine if they made a movie based on Scooby-Doo and they made oh, I don’t know, Scrappy a villain, wouldn’t that fucking su—wait.

At least in that movie’s case it was one singular lame element. This movie is just an excruciating exercise in being as lame and unpleasant as possible. It genuinely feels like it was just made because they had the rights to Land of the Lost and then they remembered the name of Ferrell’s character in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and decided they needed a Ferrell vehicle.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, I know absolutely nothing about this series. I have no emotional attachment to it at all. I’ve never seen a single episode. But I don’t think you even have to watch a single episode to know that this movie is a slap in the face to fans of it. The entire thing just feels spiteful, and coming from a place of sheer malice. Yes, this film is that fucking bad, I can totally see why it blew up Ferrell’s career, and honestly it should count itself lucky that it has been forgotten because I say this film deserves even more hate. This is The Love Guru levels of bad. That 5.3 up there is beyond generous; this is easily a contender for the bottom 100 of IMDB, but I guess that would require anyone to give a shit about it.

But hey, as a non-fan, maybe my opinion doesn’t hold as much weight as what a truefan of the series would say. Thankfully, I have one of those on call, and here’s his summation of this film’s quality:

Hey, it’s me, @unadulteratedpiratepizza​, and I’m here to take you on a journey back in time! Long before streaming services, TV shows aired their new episodes on different designated times and days of the week, and Saturday mornings were the slot for new episodes of children’s programming. Back in the 70’s, long before me and Michael were born, the brothers Sid and Marty Kroft were the kings of that time slot, with their bizarre plots and expert use of their low budget, bringing us classics such as H.R. Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos, and the subject of today’s review, Land of the Lost.

Land of the Lost was a high-concept soft Sci-Fi series exploring the adventures of Rick Marshall and his children Will and Holly, as they explore a bizarre world full of danger and mystery. They must survive hungry dinos, aggressive lizard people, and even time-displaced humans, as they search for the truth of this world and a way to get back home.

Unlike the high energy upbeat shows the Kroffts were known for, LotL was more serious in tone at times, with a pretty consistent world and strong stories. LotL had a team of prolific Sci-Fi writers, a number of which worked on the original Star Trek, which had the effect of some of the stories feeling like TOS episodes. No jokes, “The Stranger '' is such a strong episode with heavy Star Trek vibes, written by Walter Koenig, the actor for TOS’s Chekov.

When I said the Kroffts knew how to use a low budget I meant it, using stop-motion for all the dinos and reusing that footage constantly, cheap costumes and goofy special effects, this show had it all! But, you could have the best special effects in the world and that would amount to nothing without strong acting, and boy does Land of the Lost deliver on that. Everyone is bringing 110% to this show, which is so surprising given that child actors aren’t usually considered the best for serious roles, but when I hear these children scream for their lives as goofy costumed lizardmen shamble towards them, by god I feel like the Sleestak are the most terrifying creatures in the world.

All and all, Land of the Lost was a strong and fun show that took its world seriously, but still had plenty of room for light-hearted fun. It is unfortunate that by the 3rd and final season, most of the writers had moved on, and the actor who played the dad had also left, leaving it the weakest of the three, but I can still say this is a show I highly recommend, especially if you like old Star Trek.

The 2009 Will Ferrell led remake sucks.

And I think that’s all that needs to be said about that. Anyway, here’s a picture of a nightmarish, terrifying predator with a couple of Sleestaks.