#back when I drew it traditionally

[tothepointofinsanity]

Woe, nauseating old pen pieces (circa 2021?) be upon ye. Mirrors, weird shapes and ocean themed things my beloved.

[lixenn]

I sketched some stuff traditionally today (cause my tablet needed to charge and but I still wanted to practice) and damn.... I forgot how much easier it is to just.... draw with a simple pencil.

I did some stuff on perspective (very simple things with shapes) and then I started to read My S-Class Hunters from the beginning again and redrew two characters in my notebook and honestly it just flows so much better TT

I missed pencil sketches I should do them more often. I can draw hair so much more dynamic in the traditional way it's kind of insane. Maybe is should invest more time into just plain old pen and paper again.

[ghost-proof]

Constantly battling my brain when it comes to my art like THE LINEART MUST BE CRISPY AT ALL TIMES. SOFT EDGES? WE DON'T KNOW HER.

[lazyottercat]

More art - I drew the lineart traditionally and coloured it in digitally,

back when I was on winter holiday :3

[mayordea]

Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖

~from her biggest fans :)

ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋

This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT

I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.

This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.

~~~

Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!

Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.

Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭

Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).

Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!

Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭

That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!

I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...

not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.

[sunlight-s0ngbird]

Yandere siren with male reader who is adventure sailor who is lost in sea and now homesick trying to ask siren for help which can go bad or good depending on siren do if you want

Hope you have a good day!!!

Ocean of Angels.

Yandere siren x Male! Sailor! Reader Summary: After being lost at sea for weeks, the only company being a siren, you yearn for home again. Content warnings: Unhealthy dynamics, slightly sexual comments, use of (Y/n) once, this post is not made in support of the unhealthy dynamics in this piece. Word count: 2.5k AI was not used to make this. Do not use to make or for ai. Welcome board Request rules Yandere siren masterlist °‧ ���� 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

Seventeen months. One year and five months is the exact time you’ve been at sea. You came with thirteen shipmates and ended with seven. The oranges had gone bad rather quickly but held several of you over for a couple weeks. Only Captain Church, you, and a couple others lived well enough to continue. 

The ship was quieter than ever. The singers got scurvy very early on and no one wanted to try replacing him. You can’t sing away sirens if you’re not considered ‘good’ to them. 

The sky and the sea were almost the same shade at the dead of night. The orange lamplights did little to help you see anything within 50ft of the boat. The only sound of was the water and seagulls trying to find a place to stay for the night, calling to each other. No sirens, which saddened you endlessly. It only meant she wasn’t here. Late again. 

You scoff as you look back down at the golden pocket watch you managed to steal from Captain Church, snatching it up from the desk in the captain’s courters.  

Her song hadn’t been heard for hours. Traditionally, she’d sing a seven thirty, get to the net and be pulled up. But then she came at eight. Then nine. Now that it was ten thirty, nowhere to be seen. It’s possible she did it on purpose, knowing you, as a human, needed to sleep at night. She more likely did it to see how late you’re willing to stay up for her. 

“You don’t have to be out here anymore, it is getting late,” Captain Church called from the top of the stairs. The suddenness of his deep voice caused you to tense and quickly hide the pocket watch in your palm. You turned around to see him standing in white pajamas, parts of his white beard wet from washing his face. 

You nod, looking back at the water surrounding you both. Still no sign of her. “I know,” you mutter, pausing to think of an explanation, “just feeling a bit sick.” 

“Well... hope it’s nothing too serious. Don’t want to keep you out here for months without proper medicine,” Church voiced with care. You managed to get a sight of his teeth before he slowly turning and heading back to the cabins. The captain’s gums were an angry red, his teeth a pale yellow smeared with blood. He didn’t have much longer, even if he told you that that wasn’t true. “Keep an eye for those fish ladies, they’ve been terrible these recent nights.” 

“Yes, sir,” you nod to him, looking at the back of his head as he leaves for the stairs, hearing the whine of the wood under his foot as he trudged down each step. 

“Oh, and if you see that pocket watch, make sure to get it back to me. I haven’t seen it for a while,” the captain calls from the bottom of the stairs, the creek of the door stopping you from calling back to him. He barely used it, so you having it wasn’t that big of a deal. It still made you nervous, thinking he would find you with it. 

The waves crashed against the bottom of the boat, drawing the ship from side to side. The free-flowing breeze drew around you and shook the lamp light, moving your shadow as if it went against the ship itself. 

The soft singing sounded like a bird, the notes getting higher to overpower the water crashing against the hard sides. The calls travelled over the sea to you, causing the muscles in your arms and legs to tense, like sores. Your hands that held the rails of the boat managed to keep you up when you lost your sense of stability with the siren’s songs. 

It stopped almost as quickly as it started, powerful enough to tense your muscles but not enough to get you climbing over the boats edge. Flexing your hands and legs hastily, you quickly fixed yourself for the lady in the sea. Calliope. 

Your eyes turn down to the blue abyss, finally seeing the siren. You huff to yourself about her showing up. The only way you can see her in the water was her skin, looking as light as a pearl against the blue waves. Her blonde hair laid in the water like the arms of an octopus, moving aimlessly like the curls had minds of their own. Her blue tail curled underneath her as she reached her boney hand up to the sky. Calliope reached for the net, pulling it down into the water to climb into like a swing. 

“Hi, Calliope,” you called down to her, watching as the siren tilted her head up, her hair that had scattered in the water now clung to her skin, covering her bare flesh. You could feel the smile as you spoke, your cheeks warm. 

“Hi, (Y/n),” she called back, baring her sharp white teeth. 

Once she was well adjusted for her “swing”, you grab the rope and brace yourself. 

“Captain hears you at night, you know,” you remark, smiling down at her. Gritting your teeth, you pulled the net up the side of the boat, the rope making a strained noise against your hands and the pulley. Even with working hard labor on the ship and Calliope being rather thin, her nightly song calls always made you muscles hurt a little bit. 

“Isn’t that a good thing? That the old man hasn’t lost his hearing?” Calliope said back. She sat curled in the net, the blue scaley skin of her tail poked out from the gaps in the ropes. You could hear the smile in her voice. 

“Sure,” you mumble to yourself, barely able to raise your voice for her. 

The pulley squeaked with almost every tug, causing you to grow anxious with every screech, hoping it wouldn’t wake anyone from their slumber or that Church’s hearing had truthfully been worse than you both imagined. 

Finally pulled up the side of the ship, your eyes landed on Calliope. The ropes and her tail dripped from the salt water below. Her pale skin was bathed in a sweet orange light, bringing life to her face. 

Her lips were rarely never a pale blue; it happened every time she was brought up to the deck. She would shudder from the biting sea air but tell you that her lips were only blue because her blood went to her cheeks. 

As though your thoughts had caused the action, Calliope shuddered from the biting breeze. She grinned to cover her “weakness” (as she claims it to be) and pulled you closer, the smell of salt on her skin. 

Almost instinctively, you looked back at the stairs, making sure Captain wasn’t nearby to see her and you. He’d throw you over if he found out. Calliope looked in the same direction and grinned. “Worried someone will see?” She asks, turning your face back to look at her. 

“Yes,” you answered mindlessly, moving the wet curls from her shoulders to cover her bare breast. She looked down at your movements but stayed silent for the moment. You did it every time she came to visit. 

“You don’t need to do that,” Calliope says and swats your hand away, leaning into you for balance and to make it more difficult to move her hair. “Not much to see anyway.” 

“Doesn’t matter how much you’ve got, it’s a boat full of men,” you scoff, smiling down at her. Her long, thin hands enclosed around a large orange, just big enough to see the vibrant orange tones between her fingers. “You brought another gift?” 

“Yep,” she nodded. She took your hand and set it in your palm; it had to have been the size of a large baseball. “Just for you.” 

Every meeting, even though close together, had some sort of fruit. It only ranged from oranges to grapefruits though. But if she felt very annoyed by her last visit, lemons would be brought knowing you couldn’t not eat it. It was too funny for her, apparently. 

“Thank you,” you mumble. Setting Calliope down, you turned your attention back to the orange, feeling over the smooth skin with joy. Getting the fruit wasn’t a question you asked her, it wasn’t important to know. It was the fact you were getting them at all that mattered. 

She watched as you prodded at the skin with your nail, knowing you were more desperate than you allowed yourself to show. She held your hand and broke the peel with her thumb nail, like she knew you needed her. 

“So,” Calliope hummed, drawing your attention back to her. The white strings from the orange covered your fingers before they were tossed off the side of the ship. “Anything new?” 

You shook your head. “No.” 

“Oh,” she grumbled, leaning back against the pile of rope. 

“One of the crewmembers died yesterday,” You remark, popping one of the orange slices into your mouth. Biting down on the slice was met with a spurt of sweet citrus, making her visit a little more enjoyable (if that was even possible). 

“Oh,” Calliope says again, sitting awkwardly from the subject. 

Nothing was said for several moments, granting you the time to eat more of the orange... granting you the time to think on it. The memory of your crewmate brought a sense of loneliness, knowing you would have to watch everyone else die before you. All because you were Calliope’s favorite. 

“I want to leave this ship,” you pipe up, bring your hands down to rest in your lap. 

“What? I thought sailors liked the sea,” she scoffed, tilting her as she studied you. Her eyes were a beautiful blue, not a deep blue like the sea below the boat, but a pale blue. Her eyes were more common to see in stories about harpies, eyes as blue as their homes, the sky. It was slightly odd to see but it was pretty. 

“I miss home,” you justify, shaking your head at her words. 

It was as if the words had set something off in her, but she kept herself composed... at least to the best of her abilities. Calliope knew you would want to leave at some point, but she couldn’t stand it at all. She turned her annoyance to her fingers, picking at the long white nail on her pointer finger. 

“What? Don’t you like me?” Calliope huffed, an accusatory tone in her voice. 

“What? No, I do like you. I just...,” you paused, looking down at her as she stared up at you. “I’m a bit homesick. I miss my family. I can’t stand being out here any longer. You shouldn’t understand that because we both are very different. I mean, you live out here.” 

She pressed her lips into a slight frown, turning her head back to the sea as she ran her fingers through her curls, splitting them into smaller tentacles of gold. You wiped your face with your hands, trying to calm yourself before continuing. “I can’t stay out here forever. We barely live off the fish because you call them away whenever you visit at night. Several of the crewmembers have passed from scurvy, nearly everyone else has it,” you explain, taking her face into your hands to turn her to look at you. 

“So, I’m the issue?” She blurts, crossing her arms over her chest, at no point did she try pushing away your hand. 

“No! No,” You shake your head hastily, trying not to get her too annoyed. Annoying your only way out wasn’t what you needed right now. “It’s not you, I just can’t stay out here forever.” 

Calliope huffed and finally left your palm, looking around the ship deck, trying to find anything interesting around her. “I take care of you just fine. Isn’t that enough?” 

You pause at her words, looking down at the pieces of orange skin and where you managed to break it with your nail. She did take care of you... barely. Calliope only brought citrus fruits and wanted anything you could give her. “What you give to me is enough...,” you sigh. “Out here, it’s enough out here.” 

Another awkward silence filled the space between you two, neither of you knowing what to say. Calliope relentlessly picked at her cuticles, pulling at the lifted skin to show the pink irritated flesh underneath. 

“It doesn’t mean I hate you,” you assure her, setting one of the orange slices in her lap. “I can’t stay here for eternity and what we have... it won’t last. We both know this.” 

Nothing but air passed her lips at your words, making you fix your posture to go on to comfort her. Calliope finally made a noise. 

A song. 

Her voice started soft, too soft to hurt you just yet. It was a small Irish ballad that the was swept up by the wind one day. It originally was held by Captain Church, meant to be given to the ship's singer. 

She gradually got louder as she grew more agitated, violently grabbing at your arms before you could plug your ears. 

Her voice travelled through the air, carrying to your ears as she wrapped her arms around your torso, pulling you to her chest. You could feel every muscle in your body tensing, like a wave that travelled from your head to your toes. 

The ballad was quickly followed by another song. It was the same one the dead crewmate sang. It came from inland, a common song from the mountain range. Guess he wasn’t good enough to keep her away. It should have been obvious that that would be the case, you thought she was the most beautiful singer you had heard. 

Her voice grew louder, growing angrier as if the idea that you ‘wouldn’t last’ was more terrifying than anything she could think of. It was a beautiful melody that seemed to work with the ocean and the wind, combining to make a proper tune. Nature must prefer Calliope; it wouldn’t surprise you if it always has. 

Calliope’s fingers caught onto the loops and waves of your shirt, pinching it to keep you against her as she pulled and pushed. Her voice strained as she lifted you against the side of the ship, holding you there before lifting your leg and pushing you over. 

The fall was quick but not for your nerves. Prickles of anxiety drew over your back as gravity forced you down into the arms of the ocean blue. Even with the fear that filled you, your eyes were still trained on Calliope, who was following you down. 

The millisecond of sloshing salt water covered up Calliope’s song, but the iciness of the water caused your muscles to tighten and tense again. Your eyes managed to close with the burn of salt, Calliope’s figure being replaced by darkness. She takes the opportunity to pull you closer. Her nails clawed at your clothes, cutting through the fabric and to your skin. The bright red flowed in the water like sea foam. 

Calliope pulled you down with her, holding you to her chest to keep you down. When she opened her mouth to continue her song, bubbles drew from her lips and the vibrant notes continued. 

The bottom of your boat faded with each painful wretch of your limbs, reaching up for the darkness. Just as your sight grew fuzzy and closed, the bubbles of air left your mouth. 

°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

[elrielsgarden]

As evidenced by many a comment and post, yes, they do. At the very least when it comes to Elain Archeron.

And it’s largely, from what I have seen, women saying these things while still uplifting characters such as Feyre, Nesta, etc. Why has the major girlbossification of female characters been taken so far we have now circled back and missed the point of feminism? It is good to be more traditionally feminine, or to go slay enemies (if you’re in a fantasy novel anyways), or to be some wonderful combination of those sorts of traits. One is not “good” while the other is “useless.”

Elain is similar in many ways to Elide and Yrene, from the Throne of Glass series. But they are each individual presences, their own person. I also cannot accurately describe Elide or Yrene to be “popular” in the ToG fandom; it is rare indeed that I find someone whose favorite character is one of these ladies (I personally adore them). And one cannot properly compare their story arcs to then say that people don’t hate the two women from ToG because they’re perhaps more traditionally feminine (which in many ways I might argue against, if you’re comparing simply their more “feminine” traits)—and so readers don’t hate Elain for this reason. In fact, the hate for Elain seems to come from a lack of reason.

The very fact that, despite their similarities, Elide and Yrene are loved while Elain is not would indicate just how this hatred lacks reason and is indeed based on a superficial judgement of character based solely on Elain’s more traditionally feminine traits.

Elain has a presence. An absolutely essential one. And her story is not complete, meaning she will grow and surprise us in beautiful ways.

Good. I don’t want Elain to be perfect. She isn’t perfect. Aside from “plot devices” that aid good storytelling, a perfect character is not worth reading about. No human is perfect—so why should we be interested in the life of a perfect fictional character? Find a character, in book or other media, that’s perfect. I’ll wait.

Elain can be gentle, kind, and a dreamer while still being a beautifully flawed character. That is what makes a good story. A good character who readers can get behind, but who also messes up, has flaws, and finds or creates ways to overcome those very flaws.

I don’t buy this for even a second. Assuming that sweetness/gentleness and flaws can’t both contribute to what makes a character who they are is quite simply incorrect. You maybe don’t “buy the nice persona” of someone like Amarantha, when she tricked Prythian. That logic simply does not apply to Elain. She is kind, gentle, a dreamer. And flawed, too. Every character is layered. The whole of the rest of the inner circle. As Elain is, too.

Elain is disliked because readers choose to look past and away from her gentle, nurturing qualities, instead labelling her as “useless,” “boring,” and “personality-proof.” All that tells me is that you did not read the books, not truly. You took one cursory glance at her, missing every moment of her trauma, every part of what makes her who she is.

Nesta’s flaws are louder—darker, perhaps. This, too, drew hatred from readers. I never hated her, just as I never hated Elain. I saw a deeply wounded and traumatized character, who dealt with that in different ways than her sisters did—because her flaws are not the same as theirs, because she possesses different strengths and good qualities than her sisters. Nesta’s journey of healing was beautiful. As Feyre’s was. As Elain’s has begun and will continue to be.

To not identify with a character is perfectly acceptable. To dismiss and discard someone simply because one hates her kindness says many things about the reader who does this, about the ideas society has cultivated.

Elain is a beautiful character. To dismiss her is to dismiss every reader who identifies with her gentle soul. 🌸

[splo0shh]

Took a small break from drawing digitally and went back to making traditional art. It's been like months since I last drew traditionally so I might be a bit rusty 💩

Oddly enough, I drew poses significantly faster when I draw traditionally. (I should really buy a pencil for my ipad, drawing with just my finger is a pain-)

[ahamkara-apologist]

finally got the chance to draw so I kinda went ham with drawing up a headcanon sheet for the Eliksni, in which I blatantly disregarded the canon skintones and just had fun (i don't really enjoy how pink they are in canon personally- I think they should have more natural colour variation)

Some notes:

-The freckles on Eramis and Variks are just freckles, they're not due to age. As for the alarming amount of minor scratches scarred into Eramis's neck and, to an extent, Misraaks- those are marks from hatchling claws! They're traditionally considered marks of beauty and wisdom in Eliksni society. Eramis has many to mirror her many litters, while Misraaks only has a couple from Eido

-I drew everyone but Taniks bald because I drew Taniks first and then realized later that it kinda obscured my hcs for their individual head shapes, so their setae is on the bottom. Setae is someting that only fully sexually mature adults develop, and is much closer in texture to a horse's mane than human hair. It also runs all the way down the back of their neck, much like a mane, and in some cases (like Taniks) has barbs or hooks along its strands so that ornaments can be woven into it, which is inspiration that I took from decorator crabs

-Eramis's facial scars were given to her by a Guardian at Twilight Gap, and are deep enough that they cut into her nasal cavity. Luckily, it's right near the nostrils anyways so she isn't impacted too bad, but she does have to be careful about keeping it clear of debris. Deep in her eye sockets, she's also had some electrodes installed that link to sensors in her helmet and give her little buzzes/shocks whenever something passes in front of it to help compensate for being half-blind, but it's a pretty crude device that doesn't work all that well on small objects

-Each Eliksni's ethnicity is written below their names, which is why Eido has a question mark. She's a mixed kid- try to guess which Houses her parents might have been from ::3

-The horns/shoulder spines were extra spikes of mineralized chitin that were common on adults in Riis, and were traits that were lost during the Drift. They often were calcium/mineral stores used to show age and fitness, but since resources in Sol are scarce, they no longer grow during molts. Riisborn Eliksni still have horn nubs, but that's about it

-As for the sexual dimorphism thing: that's more just me musing about how slight it would be with my hcs about their reproduction (which involves females laying fertilized eggs into a specialized broodpouch in the male, who then builds on their yolk supply and gives them the calcium needed to form eggshells, and thus needs to be bigger). When given actual Eliksni with a natural range of bodily variation, it would be near-impossible to distinguish them

[ray-winters]

we just wanna hear any hcs you have for our boy misch

Alright, y’all asked for it, buckle up:

Mischa makes most of his money from an apprenticeship he has at the only tattoo parlor in Uranium City. He gets paid a bit, and on top of that he gets free tattoos (which is where he got all of his from). Plus it keeps him out of the house and also pisses his very traditionally valued adoptive parents off. Win win.

My Mischa only has tattoos on his right arm bc I am left handed so HE is left handed- he does his own tattoos mostly. He was going to start a sleeve on his left arm after he got home from the fall fair.

Speaking of his tattoos; the first tattoo he gave himself was one that says “Bad Egg” w/devil horns and a devil tail. “Bad Egg” was something his adoptive dad would frequently call him, so it was his way of reclaiming the name for himself, and pissing off his adoptive parents bc they were viciously anti-tattoo

He has another tattoo of a crescent moon with a “ - T” next to it bc he asked Talia to draw him something to put on his body. She drew the moon because of the time difference between Kyiv & Uranium, any time she sees the moon she knows she’s going to hear from Mischa soon. So she began to associate Mischa with the moon.

My personal fav tattoo I gave Mischa is that stereotypical “S” where you draw 6 lines and connect them. This is brand fucking new to Mischa, he had never seen it before, and he thought it was dope af, so he tattooed it on himself immediately.

He has a tattoo of a pot leaf, but it’s not very good so everyone always thinks it’s a Canadian maple leaf. Which drives him up the wall.

Mischa has taken in a small black cat that would hang around the tattoo parlor and would occasionally follow him home. It lives with him in the basement, it comes and goes, and it is a well kept hidden secret.

Mischa hangs at Noel’s house…a lot. Noel’s mom lets him stay the night often bc she knows about his home life and thinks it’s disgraceful, so she takes care of him.

Mischa was class clown and relatively popular at his high school in Ukraine- which is the polar opposite of how he’s received at St. Cassian’s. People either are afraid of him, or they try to make fun of him, so either way he has found himself alone most of the time.

He’d never admit it, but Mischa does actually enjoy hanging with the kids in the choir. He gets to hang with his bestie, Noel. He admires Constance’s patience and kindness, he thinks she’s probably the best person in Uranium. While he and Ocean get on each other’s nerves, there’s a small part of him that secretly looks forward to their fights. But only a little bit. He doesn’t notice Ricky is there until after the accident, and then spends a large chunk of his time trying to rectify that by getting to know/encourage Ricky.

He and Noel became friends bc some of the boys who were trying to bully Mischa were also bullying Noel. When Mischa was about to start defending Noel, Noel ended up proving he can defend himself with his quick wit rather than fists. This is a trait that Mischa admires a lot, so they pretty much joined forces that day and they’ve been the dynamic duo of Uranium City ever since.

Mischa has pretty severe abandonment issues and it prone to panic attacks because of it. He’s more of a “suffer in silence” kind of guy, so it takes someone with patience and kindness like Constance to give him some tips on how to calm himself down. I.E. remembering a calming situation like “climbing back into your bed in the morning and feeling the heat left over from your body.”

Mischa had been kicked out of a few schools in Uranium, and his adoptive figures (they’re not really parents, barely guardians) gave him one last chance at St. Cassian’s. When he was caught stealing the communion wine, Father Marcus told him he HAD to join the choir and that he HAD to at the very least sing at the competition. Which is why he doesn’t do any choreo during the opening number.

Addendum- he does ONE move during the opening number. The finger wag on “oh no no” because Noel came up with that move, and after Ocean tried to cut it, Mischa said it was the only move he’d do even if it was cut. So he forced her to keep the move in via malicious compliance.

Over the course of the musical, there isn’t really a moment where he thinks he’s gonna win. His life wasn’t fair, why should his death be any different.

He thinks Jane is THE coolest and THE most metal thing he’s ever seen. After she finishes her number, his heart is effectively broken for her.

When Constance punches Ocean, Mischa doesn’t have the “FUCK YEAH” reaction that you’d expect. It’s actually met with some sadness. He’s always encouraging Constance to stick up for herself, and to not take Ocean’s shit. But, he respects that she has patience and kindness. When Constance punches Ocean, he almost sees it as a failure on his part.

The reason in my head why Mischa and Ocean feud so much is because they remind each other of one another’s parents. Ocean is the poster child of excellence in Uranium, Mischa’s adoptive parents have said more than once that they wish he could “be like that Ocean girl” - on the contrary, Ocean has caught Mischa smoking weed before. His incredibly radically liberal world view reminds her of her hippy parents. They get that anger out at them on each other. But at the end of the show, they both have a deeper respect for one another. Ocean for Mischa because she sees the real him, who is gentle & compassionate. Mischa for Ocean because she does the most selfless thing she could possibly do, which he respects infinitely.

I’m sure I have more but these are the HC’s that immediately came to mind. This is what makes Majestic Rep’s Mischa, Mischa.

[sebastianswallows]

The Little Death — 10. Something more than immediate joy

— PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Bene Gesserit!Reader

— SYNOPSIS: A Bene Gesserit gets left behind in the Arrakeen palace. When Feyd becomes the Planetary Governor, he finds her there in hiding. The Harkonnens don't traditionally keep them as truthsayers or concubines like other Houses do, but Feyd might have a use for her. After all, he's never had a Bene Gesserit of his own before.

— WARNINGS: none

— WORDCOUNT: 2k

— TAGLIST: @elf-punk @lowlyloved @pomtherine @slytherins-heir @babyofneptune @localravenclaw @missbingu @wo-ming-bai @torossosebs

People always want something more than immediate joy or that deeper sense called happiness. This is one of the secrets by which we shape the fulfilment of our designs. — Leadership Secrets of the Bene Gesserit

When she was done tending to Feyd she tried to start her morning but found she hardly could. Still a little dizzy after the night before, and weak and sore, she thought to take a shower but remembered that they were on Arrakis. She’d have a better chance of trying to bathe in gold. Water was more available in the palace than among the natives, even in Arrakeen, but they were all subject to restrictions. All of them except the ruling class. Feyd offered to let her wash with him when he saw how dour and upset she was as she scrubbed her body clean with a rough cloth — a suggestion he made with ample delight — but she wasn’t ready to be so close to him again.

“Are you sure?” he asked, cocking a smooth brow.

“Yes, thank you,” she muttered, feeling bitter that he even offered. She would not find herself in his debt, not for physical comforts at least.

Her mind was still reeling from his viciousness and love throughout the morning. He had been merciless in taking her, and to her shame, he noticed how much she enjoyed it by the end. She was never supposed to enjoy it… At least that wasn’t her plan. It terrified her to think that maybe it was his. And then, as if she hadn’t been confused enough, he’d melted before her like a globe of snow when she sat in his lap to paint his teeth all black. She was quite relieved when he left her for the day, but not before placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. His lips felt softer than she thought they should.

Meditation was ruined as well. All her thoughts kept turning to him, to herself, to what they’d done together, to how she submitted. It was all going according to her plan for survival — he liked her and he seemed to like her more and more each day. She should have been happy because with each humiliation she was closer to getting off that planet, maybe even rejoining her Sisters. So why wasn’t she happy…? Why wasn’t she even satisfied with herself and instead felt a disappointment? Every way she turned her thoughts she met a wall built by herself and which she was too scared to pull back down. It was a decision her mind almost made for her that she should wander off outside the palace and into Arrakeen. She knew the lay of the city and could navigate it even blind if need be, even though she hadn’t been there more than a dozen times throughout her stay. I have to be somewhere that doesn’t remind me of him, she thought, justifying it to herself.

The streets of Arrakeen had the quality of being loud and quiet all at once. The stilted Fremen speech had adapted among the city dwellers to something more descriptive, more precise, bordering on rude and yet eminently practical. Low voices carried far between those square stone buildings and the noise of animals and pottery filled in all the empty spaces. The market drew her in by being the noisiest, perfect for forgetting and losing herself in a crowd. With her black robes and the veil around her head, she could pass through unseen, without drawing any glances. Raw artistry surrounded her from every side, simple things with quite elaborate designs, ordinary objects vastly different from anything found now within the Harkonnen-held palace but frail, and temporary, and weak. Nothing caught her eye, but nothing had to. She wasn’t there to buy. But she stopped when something glinted on a seller’s table that snagged on her memory and pulled her in. As she approached, a shadow swathed in black among a sea of grey and brown, she realised why the little broken items were so familiar to her. They were scraps from when the Atreides were there. Leftovers picked up after the sacking… Stolen, perhaps, but certainly with no owner now.

“What does the lady want?” the merchant asked in his weak, raspy voice. Only his eyes were visible, bright blue from between threadbare rags.

“Nothing,” she said, still looking at his wares.

“Cheap,” he said. “One Solari for ten.”

“No, thank you.”

“Twenty.”

“I don’t barter,” she said, shocking him into silence.

Still, she stayed and looked, her eyes traversing the items on their own as if her mind had her own design. Memories of her past life came to her just from the gentle glint of a spoon, its handle beautifully ornate with little silver waves, or a hair comb with two teeth missing, or a half-filled bottle of perfume. She wondered if she’d ever see such things again, items small and beautiful just for beauty’s sake, bright and coloured and loved. She was sick already of Harkonnen black... But these thoughts were unworthy of a Bene Gesserit, and she pulled herself away before the merchant could tempt her into spending her paltry sum of money on a useless thing. And she was in mid-step when she noticed from the corner of her eye a square and greenish thing that had often appeared in her nightmares as a girl. She stopped, head turned toward it to confirm what she was seeing, and remained transfixed.

It was difficult to barter its price down once the merchant saw her interest, and she was reluctant to use the Voice over so small a thing, but she bought it in the end for a fraction of what it was worth, even though it missed its poisoned needle. It was a Gom Jabbar, or more specifically the box that went with one. Impossible to say if it belonged to the ladies Jessica or Margot or to someone else, but it was hers now, and she walked back to the palace with a new spring in her step.

Feyd had asked for one of these at their first meeting, and as she got to know him she learned just how much he enjoyed pain. Their first night together with her between his legs came back as a dizzying flash in her mind and made her blush. She could return to that again now, return to that sense of power over him — and make him happy too. A part of her was also privately excited to see just how he would react. How long he’d last.

She hid herself in some small room upon arriving, far away from the shouting and the crying that came along with the Harkonnen household. And there in dark and silence she took it out, placed her hand in it, and felt the still familiar burn. She had to try it out before she presented it to him. Find out if it worked. Find out if it hurt just as badly as it used to. This is just what he needs, she thought, and perhaps what I need too. The agony ran up her arm, singing her nerves, setting her skin on fire, and settled like a swarm of butterflies at the back of her head. Her body sang with the instinct to pull her hand away — and she could, she could at any time. There was no Gom Jabbar at her neck, no Reverend Mother there. But there was something about knowing that it wasn’t real, something about knowing that she was safe while doing it that made her addicted to the feeling. Her eyes stung, her heart stuttered, and a cry fought its way out of her throat. It was decadent, being able to cry out with no one there to hear it…

When she greeted Feyd that evening in his quarters, he paused at the sight of her. The expression on his face gave her perverted joy.

“Hello,” he greeted gently, slowly letting the doors behind him close. “Good day?”

“You can say that…”

“You’re smiling. Glowing, even…”

She sat upon the windowsill, leaning in a sapless pose against the wall, and watched him as he watched her while he moved across the room. He took his blades out first and placed them on the table, as he often did, and started to undo his armour.

“Let me help you,” she said.

“I thought that sort of thing was beneath you,” he murmured as she came close.

She smiled as she began to pull the straps away, first at his arms and then his chest and then around his waist.

“I only do it,” she whispered, “because I want to.”

“And why do you want to?”

“Do you check your spice for the perfect shade of orange?”

“I have it checked for poison.”

“No you don’t,” she laughed.

“No, I don’t, but perhaps I should.”

She pulled his armour away, smiling — because she knew he was more delighted than suspicious.

“Sit on the bed,” she said softly, brushing a hand across his naked shoulder. “I have a gift for you.”

He seemed to choke on hearing that and a thought like a cloud passed over his mind. She wondered if he had any bad associations with gifts — because he seemed to — but she was in far too good a mood to worry about that now. Feyd listened to her and sat down, and waited with a knot in his throat for her to come back to him in her veil of vaporous black. She didn’t show him what she had until she was right in front of him, kneeling, with the little thing she had hidden in a drawer by the bed.

“You asked me for something on the day we met. Something I can give to you now. Something I think you deserve…”

“You’re awfully vague for someone so happy,” he said archly, leaning back on his strong arms. “Well? What is it?”

“If you’ll be petulant, you’ll get nothing.”

“You better give it to me before I turn petulant, then.”

“Incorrigible…” she muttered.

Feyd didn’t seem too sure he would enjoy her gift until she unfolded the towel she’d hidden it in and revealed the small metal box. He recognised it immediately and his face turned from a frown to a smile to a look of wonder.

“I thought you said —”

“I only found it today. Left by the Atreides, I believe.”

She tilted her head slightly as she looked up at him. He was like a child getting a long-desired birthday present, and she couldn’t help but want to coddle him. And what a dour present it was… To anyone other than a Harkonnen it would’ve been an insult, even an ill omen, or at least exceedingly strange. Not to Feyd though. He reached out for it, his pale hand suspended in the air for just a moment, then pulled away.

“Does it still work?”

“It does.”

“How do you know?” he asked, then paused to look into her eyes. “You tried it,” he noted with a grin. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Not as much as you seem to,” she smirked. “In fact, not much at all. It brings back… uneasy memories.”

“We’ll make new memories together, then.”

How sweet he is, she thought, when he gets what he wants.

She placed it on the bed beside him with her hand above and looked into his eyes. He’d done it before. He knew what followed. He swallowed the knot in his throat and took in deep breaths, steeling himself the way he would before a fight in the arena.

“Do you want to put your hand inside it?” she whispered.

Feyd kept his gaze fixed on the little thing as if he expected a scorpion to crawl out of its mouth. If he were capable of it, he would have blushed.

“How long do I have to keep it inside?” he asked in a rough low voice.

She reached into her dress again, moving as slowly as a snake, and then, in a motion that was deceivingly calm as if she did it every night, she took out a slender blade.

“As long as you can,” she said, holding the edge against his stomach. “That’s the game.”

Feyd’s eyes moved to the knife against his skin and then he looked at her and giggled. He placed his hand in the box and licked his lips, his pale eyes staring her down from above.

[flame-shadow]

A breakdown of my quirrel!nosk comic from last year (original post here) since I like doing breakdowns and talking about my process, and I know at least some people like reading those things. :)

First of all, a little background. I made that comic in an evening with just a pencil, a black marker, two grey markers, and a yellow-orange marker. (All markers had a thick tip and a thin tip, and all were water-based markers, so they don't blend like alcohol markers, but they can still be layered to affect the values) I had a text post from @g0at0ad saved in my drafts that said "gotta say. massive missed opportunity to not have nosk mimic quirrel to lure the knight into its lair." and finally, I had an idea for how to illustrate the reveal and felt I had a decent idea for the nosk's design.

I wanted to follow the same encounter order as the game provides, and by happy coincidence, I realized that the route from first sighting to nosk den includes the hot spring, so it made perfect sense for that location and the real Quirrel to appear in the comic.

Ghost spots a Quirrel-like figure in the darkness in the first panel, and then as the path continues and drops into the hot spring, there's (real) Quirrel, so clearly that's who Ghost saw a minute ago. Yay, friend! And since Quirrel explores around, it's not strange that Ghost would spot him again in an area not so far away, though it's odd how he got ahead of them. Perhaps a different tunnel? And it seems like Quirrel wants to lead the way to something, so Ghost follows, until- That's not Quirrel.

In addition to the potential of a reader already knowing the game's locations and recognizing the path to the nosk's den, there are other visual clues that subtly communicate that something might not be right. I made it so every panel but the hot spring one has black silhouettes encroaching on the space within.

The third panel is the mildest one being encroached upon because Ghost doesn't yet feel like something is off (still reassured from seeing Quirrel in the safe hot spring) but the trap is coming together. The existence of the spider web in the corner is a nod to the trap because it's a common visual symbol for being trapped.

Also note how both the first and third panels have some safety via straight panel edges. Contrasted with the fourth and fifth panels which have no straight edges as Ghost cannot escape and there is no safety.

Another subtle reinforcement of danger vs safety is how the use of black is very limited in the hot spring panel. It's a brighter room mechanically, yes, but it's also a Safe Room. The only black is Ghost's void parts and a thin outline around Quirrel (and also a bit of shading on his arm that I did out of habit before remembering that I wasn't going to use black to shade him here, oops!)

And, note that in the only panel with Real Quirrel, he isn't framed against a darker shape in the background.

Okay, and finally, I will share a bit about the nosk reveal panel and its design...

This pose and angle are dramatic and all, but they're The Worst for showcasing the actual design of the nosk! Just a complete mistake on my part that I did my best to roll with, since I didn't realize until too late how I'd messed myself up.

Which happens! I don't always get it right, and especially when I'm working traditionally, there's a point where I can't go back, so I just have to make do with what I gave myself. :) I don't hate what I have here, but I have been dissatisfied with it ever since I drew the lineart.

A thought I have had since then was that maybe I should've drawn it larger, to be more threatening? Maybe a different pose to show off the side-body frills? I explored a couple ideas below, but honestly, I think the whole panel would have to be reworked to get it right.

Making sure that the background frames the nosk effectively would be one of the main things I'd redo, but I'm getting tired and don't feel like drawing more, so I'll just leave it at the nosk replacement sketches.

And since I don't think I did a good job with displaying the nosk's design effectively, I quickly sketched some of the features to maybe show them off a bit better.

I like the gimmick of the nosk turning its head, so I pretty much always maintain that with my nosk designs. This one is no exception. Quirrel's head and face become the cranium and upper jaw while Monomon's mask becomes the lower jaw - the extra length causes an underbite. I've always been a fan of when people add a veil hanging from Monomon's mask while Quirrel is wearing it, so that's where the frills come from. ("Why didn't you include the veil in your Quirrel drawings, then?" I hear you ask. And honestly..... I don't know! That could've been an oversight or it could've been deliberate and I just don't remember my justification. That happens sometimes XD)

Anyway uhhh yeah! I think that's it. I like making comics. I like thinking about nosk. Tadaa~

[princesskenny1998]

One Piece | Monkey D. Luffy x waitress!f!Reader ~ One Night Stand?, PT.1 (Smut)

It had been a busy night at the little seaside tavern where you worked—a place that was usually quiet save for the occasional rush of sailors or travelers looking for a good meal and some laughter. Tonight, though, the atmosphere was electric, buzzing with the excitement that had rippled through the whole island since the Thousand Sunny docked just beyond the cove. Everyone knew who they were: the infamous Straw Hat Pirates, their legendary adventures and wild exploits whispered about in every corner of the Grand Line.

The tavern was packed, the crew taking up a large table in the corner, and you had watched them all night—watched them laugh and eat and drink, filling the room with their boisterous energy. But no matter how many times you told yourself to focus, your eyes kept drifting back to him—to Monkey D. Luffy, the Straw Hat Captain, who sat at the center of the table like he was the sun and everyone else revolved around him.

You didn’t know why you found him so fascinating. He was different from the other men you had known—goofier, louder, with that devil-may-care smile that seemed to promise adventure and trouble in equal measure. He wasn’t traditionally handsome, not in the way your friends usually described the men they dated, but there was something magnetic about him. Something that drew your gaze every time you caught a glimpse of his easy grin or the way he laughed without a care in the world. He seemed so alive, like he was bursting with energy that couldn’t be contained, and for reasons you didn’t fully understand, you couldn’t look away.

You tried to focus on your work, taking orders and clearing plates, but it was impossible when Luffy’s laughter echoed across the room, when he smiled at you with that wide, boyish grin that made your cheeks warm. You found yourself lingering by their table every chance you got, making small talk, dropping hints that you hoped he’d pick up on—a playful smile here, a lingering touch there. It felt a little reckless, a little foolish, but you couldn’t help yourself. There was just something about him.

The rest of the crew noticed, of course—how could they not? Nami gave you an amused, knowing smile when you refilled their drinks for the third time, and Usopp winked and wished you good luck. But you ignored them, focusing all your attention on Luffy, who seemed more than happy to soak it all in, grinning at you like you were the most interesting person in the room. Maybe you were crazy, maybe your friends would tease you mercilessly if they knew, but you didn’t care. You wanted him to notice you, to see if the heat you felt whenever his gaze met yours was just in your imagination.

And then, finally, it was time to close. The rest of the customers had trickled out, leaving only the crew, still celebrating and swapping stories over half-empty mugs. You were finishing up your shift, your apron slung over your shoulder, when Luffy caught your eye across the room, his grin widening as if he’d been waiting for this moment.

“Hey,” he called out, waving you over with a casual confidence that made your stomach do a little flip. “You’re done for the night, right?”

You hesitated, your heart pounding, but you forced yourself to smile, tilting your head flirtatiously as you crossed the room. “I am,” you said, feeling a thrill run through you when he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Why? Got something in mind?”

His grin widened, and he shrugged in that carefree way of his. “I dunno,” he said, his voice lower now, almost teasing. “Maybe you could show me around? I like this island.”

You could have said no, like you usually did when men made advances on you. You could have laughed it off, gone home, and forgotten the whole thing. But there was something about the way he looked at you, something in his dark eyes that made you throw caution to the wind.

“I think I could do that,” you said, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “If you’re up for a little adventure.”

He laughed, a sound that sent a shiver down your spine, and before you knew it, you were leading him out of the tavern, away from the noise and the lights and the prying eyes of the rest of the crew, down the winding cobblestone streets toward your little apartment on the edge of town.

Your heart was racing, your hands trembling as you unlocked the door and led him inside, the air between you charged with an energy that made your skin prickle. It was crazy, you knew that—it was impulsive and reckless and everything you’d never done before. But when he stepped inside, filling the small space with his presence, all of your doubts disappeared. You wanted this. You wanted him.

The door clicked shut behind you, and you turned to face him, suddenly feeling shy and unsure now that you were alone. But Luffy didn’t give you time to think. He stepped forward, closing the distance between you in a heartbeat, his fingers brushing your cheek as he looked at you with a seriousness that stole the breath from your lungs.

“You’ve been staring at me all night,” he said, his voice low and almost curious, and it wasn’t a question—it was a statement, and it made your cheeks flush with embarrassment. “Why?”

“Because…” you hesitated, the words catching in your throat, and for a moment, you thought about brushing it off, playing it safe. But then you looked into his eyes, and something about the way he looked back at you—open and unguarded and utterly sincere—made you tell the truth. “Because there’s something about you,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper. “Something I can’t ignore.”

For a second, he looked surprised, as if he hadn’t expected you to say that. But then he grinned—a slow, lazy smile that made your heart skip—and leaned in, his breath warm against your lips. “Good,” he said, his voice a husky murmur that sent a rush of heat straight to your core. “Because I feel the same way.”

And then he kissed you.

It was like nothing you’d ever experienced—fast, intense, almost overwhelming. His lips were hot and demanding against yours, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. You melted into the kiss, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pressed closer, wanting to feel every inch of him, to get lost in the heat and the desire that had been building between you all night.

His touch was electrifying, his hands exploring your body with a hunger that left you gasping for breath, and when he pulled back, his eyes dark with want, you didn’t hesitate. You grabbed his hand, leading him down the narrow hallway to your bedroom, the anticipation buzzing through you like a live wire.

He followed without question, and the moment the door closed behind you, you were on each other—clothes hitting the floor in a messy pile, kisses growing more urgent, more desperate. It was wild, chaotic, a blur of heat and sensation as he pushed you back onto the bed, his body pressing against yours, strong and solid and so very real.

There was no hesitation, no awkward fumbling—only a fierce, all-consuming passion that took you both by surprise. Luffy’s touch was rough but careful, his lips moving over your skin in a way that made you shiver, made you arch against him, made you forget everything but the feel of him, the heat of him, the way he moved like he knew exactly what you needed.

And you gave as good as you got—your hands exploring every inch of his body, your nails raking down his back, pulling him closer, urging him on. It was like nothing you’d ever felt before—intense and consuming, the kind of desire that made you feel like you were on fire from the inside out.

When he finally moved inside you, it was like the world stopped, everything narrowing down to that single, overwhelming point of connection. You gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders as he kissed you, his movements steady and sure, his breath ragged against your lips. Every thrust, every touch, every whispered word sent you spiraling higher and higher, until you were lost in the sensation, the pleasure, the sheer, raw intensity of it all.

It was fast and frantic and desperate, but it was perfect—like he was pouring everything he had into you, like he was trying to make up for all the time you’d spent watching him from across a crowded room, waiting for this moment.

And when it was over, when the storm of pleasure had finally passed, leaving you both breathless and tangled together in the sheets, you lay there with him, your body still humming with the aftershocks, feeling a kind of peace you hadn’t known you were missing.

Luffy lay beside you, his arm draped over your waist, his breath warm and steady against your shoulder. He looked at you, a lazy grin spreading across his face, and you couldn’t help but smile back, your heart swelling with something you couldn’t quite name.

“Wow,” he said, his voice hoarse with exhaustion and satisfaction, and you laughed, feeling a lightness in your chest that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Yeah,” you agreed, your fingers tracing the lines of his jaw, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch. “Wow.”

He chuckled, his eyes drifting shut as he pulled you closer, holding you tight against him as if he had no intention of letting go. And you didn’t mind. You knew, deep down, that whatever this was—whatever it meant—it was real. It was something you wouldn’t forget, something that would stay with you long after the night ended and for years to come.

As the first hints of dawn filtered in, you lay there with Luffy, neither of you in any rush to move. The silence between you was comfortable, punctuated only by the soft rhythm of his breathing, his body solid and warm against yours. You traced idle patterns on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingertips, and wondered how something that had started as a simple flirtation had turned into this—a night that had left you feeling raw, exposed, but strangely content.

Luffy’s eyes cracked open, and he caught your hand, pressing a quick kiss to your palm before tangling his fingers with yours. “You look happy,” he murmured, his voice still heavy with sleep but carrying that teasing lilt you’d come to recognize. His grin was softer now, not the usual wild and carefree expression, but something more genuine, almost tender.

“I am,” you admitted, smiling back at him. “More than I’ve been in a long time.”

He looked pleased with that, his gaze never leaving yours, and for a moment, you wondered if you were seeing a side of him that few people ever got to see—something quieter, something real. It was hard to imagine this was the same Luffy who had walked into the tavern last night with his usual, boundless energy. Now, lying beside you in the dim light of the morning, he seemed almost... grounded, tethered to you in a way that made your chest tighten with unexpected emotion.

The reality of what you’d done was starting to sink in. You had spent the night with Monkey D. Luffy, the pirate captain who was as infamous as he was reckless, whose very name carried stories of adventure and unlimited joy. But here, in the stillness of your room, he was just a boy—a boy who had made you feel alive in a way you’d never thought possible.

“I should probably get back soon,” he said after a while, his tone apologetic but not regretful. “The crew’s probably waiting, it was our last night on this island after all.”

You knew he was right. They would set sail soon, and he had a whole world out there waiting for him—places to see, battles to fight, dreams to chase. He was never going to be the kind of man who stayed in one place for long, and you had known that from the moment you’d seen him.

Still, a part of you ached at the thought of him leaving. You didn’t want to be just another island, another night in his endless journey. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and nodded. “I know. You have a ship to sail and a world to explore.” You tried to keep your tone light, playful, but he saw right through it.

His eyes softened, and he reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with a gentleness that made your throat tighten. “Hey,” he said softly, his thumb brushing your cheek. “I’ll come back. I promise.” You knew that Luffy wasn’t the kind of person who made empty promises, and that whatever you had shared last night was real.

You smiled, blinking back the sudden sting of tears, and kissed him one last time—slow and sweet, pouring everything you couldn’t say into that single, lingering moment. He kissed you back, his hands cradling your face, and for just a second, the rest of the world fell away, leaving only the two of you and the quiet, undeniable connection you’d found in the dark.

When you finally pulled back, you were both a little breathless, and he grinned at you, his eyes bright and alive with that familiar spark that had drawn you to him in the first place. “I’ve gotta go,” he said, his tone almost regretful, and you nodded, even though it hurt.

You watched him dress, every movement deliberate and unhurried, as if he was memorizing the feel of your space, your presence, before he left. When he was fully clothed, he turned to you one last time, his hat perched crookedly on his head, and flashed you that carefree smile you knew you’d never forget.

“Thanks for the adventure,” he said, his voice warm and genuine. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you managed to say, even though you had no idea if you’d ever see him again. “Take care of yourself, Luffy.”

He nodded, gave you one last, lingering look, and then he was gone, slipping out the door and into the early morning light. You stayed where you were, listening to the fading sound of his footsteps, the empty space he left behind feeling far too quiet and far too empty.

For a long time, you just sat there, staring at the door, your mind replaying the night in vivid, bittersweet flashes—the way he’d looked at you, the sound of his laughter, the warmth of his touch. It had been reckless, impulsive, and completely unexpected, but you knew you’d never regret it. Whatever came next, whatever his adventures brought him, you knew that you’d been part of his story, even if only for a brief, shining moment. And maybe, maybe, he would really come back for you someday.

And somehow that thought was enough.

You got up eventually, your legs still a little shaky, and started to clean up—gathering your clothes, straightening the bed, trying to distract yourself from the ache in your chest. You had a life here, friends, and a job, and you couldn’t afford to dwell on what might have been. But as you opened the windows, letting in the fresh sea breeze, you couldn’t help but smile.

Because, for one night, you’d been swept up in the world of the Straw Hat Pirates, caught in the orbit of a boy with a smile that could light up the darkest corners of the world. You had taken a chance, and it had been worth it. And who knew? Maybe, somewhere out there on the vast, endless sea, Luffy would remember you too.

Weeks later, long after the Straw Hats had sailed away and life had returned to its usual rhythm, save for the new life you carried under your heart, you found a small, folded piece of parchment tucked under your doormat—a note with messy, scrawled handwriting. It was short and to the point, but it made your heart swell with a fierce, unexpected joy.

“Thanks for the fun night. I really meant what I said. When I'm finished with my adventures, then I'll come back for you. Keep smiling. — Luffy”

You laughed, tears slipping down your cheeks as you pressed the note to your chest, one hand on your still flat belly, feeling lighter than you had in ages. He was out there, somewhere, chasing his dreams and causing all sorts of trouble, but a part of him had left something behind—a piece of the adventure, a reminder that even in the vast and unpredictable world, connections like the one you’d shared could exist, however fleeting they had started.

And in that moment, you knew that no matter what happened, you’d always be grateful for that night, for the boy with the straw hat who had walked into your life and made you believe, even if only for a little while, in magic and adventure and the kind of passion that could burn through the dark.

You folded the note carefully and tucked it away in a safe place, a secret memento of a wild, reckless night you’d never forget. Then you took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and went back to your life, the memory of his smile warming you like a hidden flame you’d carry with you for a long, long time.

[nei-ning]

Gonna rant a bit. I saw one set of beautiful anthro arts on another website. Sadly they were done in AI. I did left a comment, complimenting how beautiful these arts were but how sad it made me that they were AI arts.

The artist themselves was kind and polite, telling they use AI because they want to learn and be able to make game arts one day (but they too, apparently, with AI so...)

But then there was another user, AI "artist" too who replied to me that there's absolutely NO ARTIST who can draw anthros with detailed fur, goat like arm, lights, colors etc without editing or photoshopping. On the whole planet, absolutely none! This person clearly don't believe in people's skills when it comes on arts. Heck, I followed one artist on DA who drew ALL her arts traditionally and she drew, and still does, SUPER DETAILED FURRY ANTHROS! No photoshop, editing, nothing digital. Just her hands, paper and a set of color pencils.

Also, if people's art skills wouldn't had been amazing back in the days through mankind, we wouldn't have cave paintings, old amazing paintings or sculptures, ALL DONE BY HANDS IN TRADITIONAL WAY. NO AI, NO PHOTOSHOP OR EDITING.

Humans can learn amazing skills if they only want to. AI artists, maybe not all, just wants to take the easiest way / be lazy (and get lots of likes - like that other person who straight forward said it. That he uses AI to create furry arts to get hundreds of likes).

They also mocked my style / arts, saying they are not good enough to be used in AI arts - yet.

Like what the actual fuck?! I am pissed! I don't even want my arts to be used in AI arts by some lazy idiot (or at all). At least I draw EVERYTHING in my arts, from first sketch line to the last shade / light. Surely my skills are not as good as they could be. After all I'm self-taught, not gone in art school like some have. Not to mention I draw for fun, I draw to bring joy to my watchers, I draw therapy arts to myself, I like to keep my style easy and simple. My arts are a hobby, not professional thing or to fish a lot of likes. If my arts can make someone's day a bit better, then I've done my job! I never haven't taken my arts or skills too seriously, trying to improve them to the top.

Is there times when I wish I would put more effort to my arts, learn and study more, becoming better? Absolutely! But do I bother? Not really. Like I said, this is a hobby. I know I would burnout myself if I would start to force and pressure myself to do better, to learn more, to improve my skills. I mean I struggle to draw even now!

I do have some saved tutorials on Pinterest what I would like to try, yes, but still not in a way like if I would have a fire under my ass.

[hiveworks]

Interview with Mad Rupert, author of Sakana

September 2023

Sakana, the story of life and love in a fish market, is coming back from its hiatus soon! The strip comic style webcomic began in 2010 and follows Jiro, Taisei, Yuudai, and Chie as they navigate their relationships and learn to face their feelings. We asked creator Mad Rupert, author of Robber Robert and artist of Bunt!, for an interview to celebrate the series return.

Read Sakana | Shop books & merch | Read more Hiveworks comics

Sakana has been your baby for 13 years. What has the webcomic journey been like for you over the past decade?

It really has been over a decade, hasn’t it! There have certainly been ups and downs, periods where I was updating as much as I could, and also long hiatuses. I feel like webcomics have always been an amazing space to practice my craft and stretch my writing and drawing skills alike. You can kind of do anything you like with webcomics, and oftentimes people come up with wackier, and imho more interesting concepts than if they were beholden to a large publisher. Not that I haven’t made my fair share of traditionally-published comics and graphic novels… but there’s just something so gratifying about coming up with your own wild story and working towards its end on your own time. Webcomics are incredibly tough and time consuming, but also the ultimate form of self expression. 

What is the origin of Sakana? What made you want to tell this story?

Sakana actually started as a class project when I was a junior at the Savannah College of Art and Design. I had been accepted into the Sequential Art department’s yearly Japan trip to study comics and cartooning in Tokyo for a few weeks, and our final project was to create 11 comic strips based off of something that made a strong impact on us during the trip. We had visited the old inner market (now demolished) of the Tsukiji Fish Market at 4am one morning, and it was the most incredible place I’d ever been, so I decided to craft a short story that took place in the market. Beyond the first 11 strips, I decided to continue the story for as long as I could as a way to practice the comic techniques I was learning in class. That was over a decade and 600 strips ago! It really has become the most ambitious project I’ve ever undertaken.

Do you have the ending already written? Do you see a conclusion in sight?

Yes! I’ve always had something at least resembling an end in mind throughout most of the comic’s lifespan. For a long-format comic like SAKANA, I think it’s very important to have a rough ending planned out as early as possible, otherwise it becomes difficult to keep the narrative moving in a satisfying direction, drop little tidbits of plot that will pay off later, or even maintain your enthusiasm for the project. To be clear, the details of Sakana's “end” have changed many times, which is only natural with a very long project like this. But I’ve always kept crucial details the same: basically certain characters in a certain place at a certain time doing certain things (to keep from getting too spoilery haha.) HOW they get there, WHY they’re there, and WHAT exactly they’re doing will ebb and flow as the years go by and I myself get older and older. But having a general sense of the end in mind has kept things moving all this time. The story’s got one more volume to go, and then I’ll be done!

Your hiatus is a result of working on a traditionally published graphic novel, coming in 2024. Is there anything you can tell us about your book?

My new graphic novel is called Bunt! and it’s a collaborative effort between myself and my dear pal, Ngozi Ukazu (author of popular webcomic Check, Please!) Ngozi wrote the book and I drew it, and we’re both really proud of what we’ve made! It’s already available for preorder all over the place and it will officially be out in stores in February 2024. We’re really looking forward to getting out there this fall and winter and spreading the word about it!

You recently successfully completed a Kickstarter for an 18+ comic, Robber Robert, as well. What is it like balancing these different narratives, genres, and mediums of publishing comics?

It’s definitely been a struggle at times to balance everything, and I definitely don’t recommend working on 3 giant projects at the same time! I finally had to admit that I couldn’t do it all at once, which led to me putting Sakana and RR on hiatus to finish Bunt!, and then keeping Sakana on hiatus while I finished up RR. I really burned myself out on comics for a while, and it’s been a huge struggle to get myself back to a good place with my work. Finishing Bunt! and RR Chapter 1 has really helped reenergize me, but I can always feel myself trying to overload my work schedule again and again. It’s my greatest weakness as a professional artist.

What keeps you inspired?

Making something for myself, practicing my craft, and putting my own stories out there are all huge driving forces in my life. Learning to stop overwhelming myself with work has also helped a lot. Looking back on all the art I’ve made and all the different things I’ve tried makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to, so long as I give myself the time and space to enjoy the process.

Do you have any webcomic or graphic novel recommendations?

I’m a big fan of anything fantasy or sci-fi, especially if the narrative approaches the fantastical elements in a weird, unique, and kind of gay way haha. My favorite manga is currently Delicious in Dungeon, but I’m also a fan of historical series like Golden Kamuy and Bride’s Story. For webcomics, I love anything by Evan Dahm, like his long-format series Rice Boy and Vattu. As for Hiveworks comics, there’s too many to list individually but my current favorites are Fairmeadow by KP, and Tiger, Tiger by Petra Nordlund. 

Any advice for new readers of Sakana?

I would say…despite its high page count, it’s not that long of a read! The strip format keeps it moving at a pretty quick clip when read all at once (but it certainly didn’t feel like that over the last 13 years updating one page at a time!) I know that the format and the black and white rendering might feel a little dated in the current era of Webtoons and full-color stories, but I’m too stubborn to change now, and I really appreciate anybody giving it a shot! Also, no matter who you are, or how much you dislike him in the beginning, Yuudai will probably be your favorite character.

You can read Sakana for free at sakana-comic.com and print books are available at hivemill.com

[bridgetoesoteria]

🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K