#back to the writing hole i go now
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iām gonna make you some of my famous art
iāve drawn many people like billy ray cyrus and billy ray and soon eddie munson (24 hour era)
youāre gonna love it
please i adore any art sent my way and cherish it forever truly
#thank u ily <3#adoringdanvers <3#art for my fics gives me the will to live#i also need to see this billy ray cyrus art#also i promise this is the last ask i'll answer today so i don't spam anyone with notifs <3#back to the writing hole i go now
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction šš#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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Master manipulator vs Master manipulator
Ā [First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#a-qing#The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing#They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope#Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses?#A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot'#Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population.#a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent.#Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually.#through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known?#The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan#So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help#Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative?#What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia)#Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back.#(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)
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nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#iii they could so easily make me hate you.#nickloon arc was the worst thing to ever come out of iii#unnecessarily long and stupid and hilariously poorly written#i actually feel insane seeing how many people just accept it at face value as The Canon#i know it Is canon but i dont care. Heartā¤ļø#we need to bring back the fandom energy of collectively rejecting the shitty writing#nickloon arc did not happen its ok. take my hand#in my heart nickel digs himself a deeper hole of denying he did any wrong and everyone at most tolerates him#fits his character built up by s2 so much better and parallels other characters too#somewhere deep in his head i feel like he knows hes wrong. but by god it should not have been that easy to ''fix'' him#hes going to deny it until it kills him bc that means facing any regret or deeper feelings he doesnt wanna deal with#and that means admitting he made mistakes which is a huge blow to his ego#and his Cool Tough Leader personality#hes not gonna give that up so easily#and i dont think its in character for him to change within the timeframe of the show tbh . at least with the time they have left now#thats like a post canon Maybe to me#the only way ill accept it really
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rockstar!abby gripping your jaw between her rough fingers and forcing you to obediently open your mouth just so she can spit her gum into your mouth before her show. ābe good and save that for me, okay, doll?ā
#i missed writing so have this :)#going back into my hole now#rockstar!abby#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson x you
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Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that itās fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.
#wow the demons which are one of the consistently evil forces in these games did something bad#hey players do you know that that was not nice#ok thank you. do u think I am 4#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#also grinding my gears that everyone (including dalish elves???) just immediately accept the evanuris are evil/have come back#like the first person to not immediately believe it is the first warden and honestly he is the only character so far I respect#like maybe if this was like inquisition and a huge hole in the sky/rifts opened everywhere#but it seems like nothing like that happened but everyone somehow magically knows about the ritual and instantly believes everything rook sa#the more I think about these things the more annoyed I get#guys did you know being a leader means u sometimes need to make hard decisions... varric taught me that in my ma15+ game#i am enjoying the combat at least lol and I like Bellara and want to see Babylon so I'm in it for the long haul#why does everyone have a gun to their head making them nice though like it's so painfully out of place sometimes#and being able to only say the same thing but in a slightly boring slightly funny or slightly serious way is driving me insane#like I seem to be the only one who had no problem w the limits on dialogue in inquisition but this is driving me insane#Mourn watch rook what if you were somehow boring and nice. yay thank you bioware#ALSO rook stop talking and forming opinions without me getting to choose what u say like no I don't want u to day we have to save that perso#ok I swear I'm done now.. I need to go back to writing my thesis instead of grinding my teeth about this game#this is all coming from an inquisition enjoyer as well (sorry) but like so far I have found nothing I enjoyed about inquisition in this game#maybe if the inquisitor and Ghilan'nain are cool latee on I can focus on that (big maybe)#I am only early on still (just met first warden) so there is still time... i guess..
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Lightblox (PHIGHTING!)
āAnd Iām floating in a most peculiar way, And the stars look very different today.ā
alt versions:
#Herā¦.#I whipped this bad boy up in probably around 2-3 hours#Funny story though#a good 40% of this was finished while watching mean girls the musical in theater LMAO#idk i just find that really ironic LOL#Anyways RAAAAH!!#honestly kind of like how this came out!#It was originally supposed to be a small animatic type thing with the song cats on mars but with lightblox#But I decided against it after I finished the sketch#Anyways I had a BLAST with filters on this one#Also thank you to the people who suggested that I give her a tail :3!#Alrighty now Iām gonna go work on some writing stuff and comms!#For once Iām actually not posting something at 3 in the morning#back into my little hole in the Everglades I go!#art#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#phighting art#david bowie#70s music#lightblox phighting#lightblox#Lightblox PHIGHTING!#phighting! art
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#Iām going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. thatās just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but Iāve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay Iāve done the dishes and the laundryā¦ā¦..I could read or write or bakeā¦.#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so Iām waiting for those to be gone before baking again#Iām just so pitiful that I feel BORED and donāt know what to do#so I saidā¦.. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#yāall ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.. I canāt find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wowā¦ this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wowā¦ā¦.. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#yāall I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. Iām trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I donāt want to do anything by myself#Iāve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didnāt want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#Iām still working on it. Iām still trying to get caught up. Iām still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling yāall. and I can tell you that simsā¦ sims isnāt helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didnāt mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didnāt even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. š bye love you all. till next time
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I think I've been on tragedy brainrot for so long that it's had a detrimental effect on my ability to create for a source material that is both genuinely well-written and has a happy ending. I wanna write farcille fic so bad but ryoko kui did a way too good job at ending things and my ability to write post-canon fluff has been shot and hidden in a dumpster which means all my fic ideas have SUCH horrible vibes.
#dungeon meshi#farcille#fic writing#it's like a rule. now i can only write happy stuff if canon ending WASN'T happy. if i have some kinda hole gaping in my heart.#at least if it was mediocre i'd have frustations to work with but noooo ryoko kui already did everything right#what am i supposed to write then??#i used to be able to do this!! back in my haikyuu days i was great at taking a non-tragic well written story and turning it into fanfic#where did that go??? into the coffin with nieyao i guess...
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I want to make "Shadowstruck" an Inklings Challenge story so bad, and there's no way I'll be able to finish even part of it in time.
#adventures in writing#[beating myself with a stick] work on the time travel story work on the time travel story work on the time travel story!#i have a draft!#all i need to do is fill in holes!#but no!#my brain insists that i need to have something *else* too#shadowstruck is stealing all my attention#and if i don't write it now i may not return to it again for months#i don't have time to do it justice#but a ridiculously short deadline may be the only way i break past the internal editor and finish any portion of it at all#but there is no way i could even write a scene that stands alone enough to make sense as an unfinished piece#and hits one of the themes#i'm greedy for story ideas this year#setting my expectations *way* too high#i want to write a whole *bunch* of ideas so maybe one of them will be satisfying as this year's entry#when i should just focus on making my one main story something i'm pleased with#i need to shut down the part of my brain telling me to write shadowstruck or one of the other secondary world ideas fighting for attention#and just go back to the time travel story#and only *if* i can complete that *maybe* write something else#it's not inklings challenge deadline day unless it contains a stressful self-imposed writing marathon
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Okay this is an absurdly specific ask for Storyteller Saturday....what is one wip outside of your posted/main one you'd like to talk about? Or alternatively, what is something within your main wip you want somebody to give you an excuse to talk about?
Feel free to answer either or both!
Oooooo, Iāve been looking for an excuse to rave about my vampire WIP!!!
So this is my longest story. The Price of Blood currently sits at over 120k words in draft 1. Almost 30 chapters. I took a break from working on draft 2 to work on The Lies They Tell during a fiction writing workshop I took in the spring semester at school.
Itās my other queer fantasy novel, featuring one very tall princess (Her name is incredibly long, but she goes by her first middle name, Victoria) thatās abducted by a vampire cult to harbor the soul of the God of Shadows and Subterfuge, AKA the vampire anti-christ. Her entire homeland Halaafin, ruled by the Halaaāsort of half elves basically? Theyāre one of the only people in this world that have magic. Pure humans canāt use magicāis overrun by this cult and basically destroyed. She makes a bargain with a spider witch that's also been betrayed by the cult to save her life and that of her unborn child. The ritual to summon the vampire anti-christ is sabotaged, but the vampires donāt know it. She manages to escape not long after.
Queue 15 years of living alone with her son in the middle of the woods of the neighboring empire until heās old enough to help her fight the vampires and retake their kingdom. But things donāt go according to plan. The spider witch tells her she has to get a jump on their plans to destroy the cult early, before her son is ready by Victoria's standards. Queue her teaching her son a lot about his history and also her running into her childhood best friend/almost lover, a duchess in the empire that serves the empress as a professional monster hunter. The two reconnect to fight the cult, fall back in love with one another, and also work on healing from the trauma of losing their families to the cult. It's a very gay story full of angst, dry humor, and lots of dead vampires. Also stresses the importance of family and loved ones in the healing process, and how grieving is inherently ugly. (I wrote a lot of this WIP while my own grandmother was dying, so loss is a big theme in it, as well as love continuing after death)
Also guns. Victoria has been removed from modern society for almost twenty years, so when she comes back to civilization, she's introduced to more modern monster hunting equipment used by non-magic people. And let me tell you: nothing makes this giant bisexual disaster happier than getting to shoot vampires and monsters in the head point blank with a revolver.
#writeblr#writeblr community#writers of tumblr#writers on tumblr#writers community#writer community#storyteller saturday#lgbtq community#lgbtq writing#queer fiction#this wip is my greatest achievement honestly#and the prospect of having to go back to fix plot holes#and write in a character that didn't even exist in the original draft#is a huge undertaking#but I'm so incredibly proud of this story#and it's probably my favorite piece I've ever written#so yeah#thank you for letting me ramble#I don't want to spoil too much of the story#because I plan on returning to it fairly soon#now that my fiction writing workshop is done#and the lies they tell is also entering draft 2 status#Victoria is such a disaster#and I love her#and Giselle is such a fop sometimes#they're total opposites#and they love each other#and I love them
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not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good
#talking#to the tags if you want the longer rant that maybe i'll talk about fully one day#tl;dr when i was in hs i was with my ex that i think ive mentioned like once or twice#there was a lot of shit wrong with that relationship and us and me at the time#but the thing that happened after we broke up which was the worst was her saying i was passionless#because in her mind i wasn't 'trying hard enough'#didn't help that she was super talented in art (even if thinking about it now its way too disney for my taste tbh)#and seemingly had her life together bc she had a super cool supportive mom#(wish i could've gotten her in the divorce tm)#and tbh that haunted me for YEARS#i stopped drawing for years after being with her#i didn't really pick up drawing HARD again until 2020#and i didn't really work on many of my own wips#just kinda poked at the ashes of the wips i got in the divorce (which funnily enough i don't use anymore. used the ocs but not the plots)#i was just so fucked up about it#but seeing y'all comment that you like my writing and my art#having people say that my worldbuilding is fire and passionate#idk it heals the part of me that died that day#so thank you all from the bottom of my soul#whenever y'all are kind enough to compliment me the hole mends even more#so idk i was just thinkin about it like bro the difference between me then and now is night and day#in part to all my lovely friends and mutuals#so yeah idk thank u i'm gonna go back in me corner again
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Yes, it's technically Thursday, I'm always a bit behind the wheel. I got tagged by @grayintogreen, and I figured...well, what the hell. Maybe sharing a little bit of Unhappy Families will help with the writing motivation; I'm stuck in 1945 and absolutely dreading writing 1947, which is probably part of the problem. Turns out, trying to figure out how to write a downward spiral bender ending in a drug overdose? Not exactly fun!
But anyway. I don't really know who to tag but if you're working on something and want to share with the class, consider this a poke in the ribs?
And without further adieu, here's a little bit from Unhappy Families (or: one went up, two went down), specifically from 1929:
Pops dropped them off along the banks of the Hudson after what felt like the longest, quietest, most awkward car ride of Jonathanās life. Tonyād sat uncomfortably close to him the entire time, his hands balled into two white-knuckled fists. Pops was silent the entire time, only speaking when the car stopped and he popped the trunk open to hand them two shovels.
āYou two, get digginā. Iām going to grab a few things and pick up our guest, and Iāll be back in thirty. I expect to see a decent size hole when I get back, understood?ā
He and Tonyād quickly mumbled out a āyessirā that seemed to satisfy Pops, who gave them a short nod, got back in the car, and drove off. Without looking at Tony, Jonathan started to dig. It was almost second nature to him at this point; heād been digging graves for his father since he was fourteen, it was easy at this point to just turn his brain off and work through the task methodically. In, up, out, in, up, out.
He let himself get lost in the task and didnāt notice right away that Tony wasnāt digging until he caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of his eye, gripping the shovel and staring at it like he couldnāt understand what it was.
āTonyā¦ya gotta dig. You canāt leave me doinā all the work myself here.ā
Tony just kept staring at the shovel.
āFer Chrissakeā¦Tony, Popsāll know you didnāt dig when he gets back. You gotta at least try, kid.ā
Fuck, was he shaking? Heād been doing so well, too, kept it together in the car the whole time, why did he have to slip up now? Christ. With a groan, Jonathan shoved his shovel into the dirt and walked over to his little brother. āTony. Look. I know what youāre thinking. Andā¦you canāt think, with this sort of stuff. You think it was easy for me when Pops took me out to do this for my first time?ā
He still thought of it sometimes, that night when he was fourteen, when Pops took him along to take out a few rival soldiers mooching in their territory. The way theyād begged and pleaded, their terrified eyesā¦how quick his father was with his gun, not even blinking as he shot man after man in the head. The way the blood spray looked on the wall behind them. The smell of blood and bodily fluids and gunpowder.
How heavy the shovel had been. How heavy the bodies were.
āYou justā¦you get used to it. You learn to turn your brain off and go somewhere else. Donātā¦donāt think of it as digginā a grave, Tony. Yer in Mammaās garden, helping her plant the tulip bulbs in the spring. Justā¦we do what Pappa wants,ā he said quietly, staring into the hole heād been digging. āIāve told ya before. Keep acting the way he wants you to, and when it gets tough justā¦hide in your head for a bit, let instincts take over. Eventually, it gets easier.ā
āIs that what you do?ā
ā...yeah. Yeah it is.ā
Tony sniffled and looked at the hole, the shovel, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he had this look of grim, strangely cocky determination on his face, and he shot Jonathan a toothy grin.
āBet I can dig faster than you.ā
āLike hell you can, you little shit!ā
For a few minutes, the two of them were able to forget why they were engaged in a digging contest; they were just two brothers trying to get one over on the other. Andā¦it was nice.
And then the car came back.
#wip Wednesday#(but on a Thursday)#Unhappy Families#hazbin fanfic#god I'm nervous sharing anything from this. I hope it's okay.#I haven't had a proper beta reader so we've been flying solo#doing all sorts of research and stuff#the plan is to finish writing it and then go back and take a second pass at everything#you know. polish it all up.#god willing I'll get this done by...fuck idk. November? hopefully earlier.#but we're aiming for november as the latest finish time because of nanowrimo#...anyway.#gonna slink back into my hole now.
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>.<
#tw clari overshares#i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active#but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me#just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning#i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating#i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again#but iām so so so scared#(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!)#bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!!#what happened to her!!!!!#she got really sick i guess#itās crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it#i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more#feeding into the fear and letting it win#and now iām here#in this hole that iām going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel#i miss being a part of this community so much#i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect#NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have#i miss having fun#YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity#but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble???#the only person who can fix this is me#(obviously hahaha)#itās about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on#iām so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life#why did i let it take something so fucking important to me???#i have to end it!!!#if u got this far in the tags: thank you and iām sorry for venting#i just feel like i NEED to say this
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having a fantasy au moment it may or may not pass
#st fantasy au . sav me#likeekj. im not done thinking about cleradin. can we. have we considered. wait. wait. im alraedy writing . wait.#i'm trying sooooooooooooooo hard to be organized and plan it out but. But. i simply cannot stop envisioning scenes#the whole theme of childhood innocence rotting under your floorboards and in your wallpaper and behind your ribs in st#but this time. it's set on the battlefield and in. idfk. a stone castle?? waiiit no mabye a motte and bailey. HM. much to think about#i love drawing from medieval customs for this actually. so many rabbit holes to fall down#and i can't Not put a magic systrm in there#ok getting back on track#i mean i just think particularly with the party. growing up is such a huge part of it thematically the good and the bad and the horrible#and this time it's all about. you know. you're too old now not to go fight for your own future etc but is it actually yours#or has this path been chosen for you by the way things are and how they seem like they'll always be exactly the same#that metaphor in the show turned literal. you are a soldier because of course you are. but what if you Weren't.#<-and what if you didn't have to wrangle yourself into another shape to better fit into the life you should have. or something#i can weave threads of forced conformity vs acceptance in there too especially from mikes point of view I LOVE IT HEREE#i know i'm getting rambly and incoherent i'm exhausted but. do u see my vision
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Guys. My dudes. My fellow knights and squires. I have somehow made it through the arduous endless middle section of my fic???? And now I'm at the point where everything from here on out is like... vividly imagined & fun & just needs to be written???
#this is momentous#i have been wading through the middle quite directionless for uhhh *checks calendar* YEARS now#but i did it?#everyone clap for the worlds slowest writer š#i cannot WAIT to edit this monstrosity into something fit for human eyes#it's gonna be so fun#ive had a near total ban on editing as i go in an attempt to actually write faster and finish it. instead i just didnt write much at all lol#but that's cos i have had the most social year of my life so i shan't complain#and editing is the Best Part oh my god im so excited to make a fresh new document & to count my plot holes & see what a mess i can make#deconstructing it all and putting it back together again
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