#back on the gender contemplation train i guess because why not

[cyberneticdryad]

thinking about my (high pitched, very feminine) customer service voice and how i wish i could speak in a lower pitch and have people react with the same level of satisfaction with their interactions with me

[hierophantmeme]

The Stranger in the Mirror

(Zoro x Reader)

Hello, everyone! I’ve been contemplating whether or not to post my fanfics for years, but anxiety had gotten the better of me. I've been trying to step out of my comfort zone more recently and thought why not post them now. So here’s my fanfic debut, I guess! 

This is part of a bigger thing I’m working on, but I wanted to post a little snippet to see how it goes. If anything doesn’t make sense or if the beginning feels abrupt, that’s probably why. I tried to edit it so it could still be it’s own stand-alone piece. 

Some context before you read: Before the events of this scenario, the reader feels they needed to avoid Zoro as to not show their true feelings. They are now in a situation in which they have no other choice but to confront them. I’d say what this situation was but then I’d have to explain a lot of stuff and just wanted this to be short.

Content contains: no y/n, 1st-person POV, short instance of dissociation, implied AFAB reader but gender-neutral pronouns are used, SFW for the most part (gets a little steamy but not too much), a bit of body worship, short, plus-sized, insecure reader

———————————————

“I’m sorry if you don’t love me back but I just can’t help it. I’ve been avoiding you because I fell in love with you, okay? I didn’t want my stupid feelings for you to make things awkward since we’re crewmates.” I stare at the man in front of me waiting for his response but am met with silence instead. “I know you could never love me back so just forget I said anything okay? I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” I start to leave but am halted by his deep voice.

“That’s it?” I turn to face him. “I thought it was something more serious.”

I stare at him in disbelief and answer, “What do you mean. This is serious, Zoro. You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“But it isn’t.”

“What do you mean it isn’t. Are my feelings not serious enough for you? You’re all that’s been on my mind and it’s so annoying. Do you know what it feels like to be in love with someone who doesn’t even look your way? I know we live on the same freaking boat as each other but you’re always training or sleeping and I see the way you look at that marine lady with the glasses.”

“Who? Tashigi?”

I nod.

“She’s a marine! Ya think I’m gonna go for someone like her? I only kept looking at her cause she reminded me of an old friend that’s no longer with us. Besides, she looks different now after two years and I never thought of my friend as anything more than that.”

I place my hands to my face in shock, “Zoro, I’m so sorry. I had no idea…”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I don’t talk about her much anyway. But I’m surprised with how often you look at me, you don’t see the way I look at you.”

I tilt my head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“It means I like you too,” he states so matter-of-factly, his mutual confession doesn’t process in my mind.

We stare intently at each other for a few moments until his words finally get through to me.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why,” questions Zoro like it’s some big mystery.

“Do you see me? I’m not as tall or as skinny as Nami or Robin. I can’t train or be in battle for as long as you and the other strawhats can without collapsing first and being a nuisance to you guys. And I’m such a coward.” I turn to the side and look at the floor, “I can’t even confess these silly little feelings right. It took me two damn years to say anything cause I was so scared..”

He slowly walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder. I look up into his lustrous, dark-gray eyes. My longing gaze quickly turns into one of determination.

“You know what,” I say in the most assertive tone I have ever spoken in, surprising myself in the process, “I won’t be a coward any longer.”

I take him by surprise as I jump up to wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I then pressed my lips upon his for a quick second, still afraid of what he might say.

“You call that a kiss? Cause if you’re gonna stop being a coward, this is how you shoulda done it.” He places his hands on my hips and holds me in a longer, more passionate kiss than the first. 

Soon tears begin to flow down my cheek. Once we break our lips away, he opens his eyes and notices. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, rubbing the tears away with one hand while keeping a firm grasp on me with the other.

”I don’t know. I guess I’m just still in shock. I know there are far better people for you out there than me, so why again would you choose me?”

“Um, I dunno… I guess I like someone who can challenge me. I know you may not have much to challenge me in physical strength,” he says teasingly, ”but you’ve challenged me in mental strength, and that has honestly been a lot tougher than any physical fight I’ve ever faced.” He starts peppering my neck with kisses. “Oh, and one more thing” he trails up to kiss my cheeks and then stops to look at me in the eyes, “Believe me when I say I’ve never seen anyone as attractive as you.” 

”But-” He presses an index finger to my lips.

“Shhhhhh. Let me show you something.” He carefully carries me over to a mirror in the room and sets me down in front of it. “I want you to name every little thing you hate about yourself and I’ll prove to you that you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

”Zoro, what the hell. You know I’m afraid of mirrors.”

“Well, you said you didn’t want to be a coward anymore, right? Maybe it’s time to face this fear. I think I know why you’re so afraid of them and I’m gonna make you love them cause I want you to see what I see when I look at you.” He stands behind me and places both of his hands on my shoulders. "What’s something you think makes you look ugly? I’ll show you that you’re wrong.”

“Um… o-okay?…” I stammer out feeling a bit embarrassed at being put on the spot. “Well I- I told you earlier…” He looks at me with a stern look that turns into into a softer frown. Zoro’s hands move down to my hips. His hands reach to pull the hem of my shirt up just a little, revealing a sight so utterly disgusting, I flinch and turn away. I want to escape his grasp but I can’t. It’s not that he’s holding me so tight that I can’t physically leave, but there’s just something about him holding me like this that makes me all flustered and weak in the knees. I may not be a devil fruit user but his touch weakens me like sea prism stone would to someone that was. Damn this idiot mosshead!

He surprises me further by shifting to one side of me and he kneels down to my hips, showering me with small kisses as he descends. His arms reach up to turn me around to face the mirror again. His hands massage the weight I have to carry 24/7. “Ya know, babe. I actually like someone with meat on their bones. It just means they’re gonna taste so damn good, and if you were any thinner, I’d probably accidentally break you in half anyway.”

”So you’re not grossed out by it?”

“Why would I be. Look how beautiful you are. Every inch of your body is so friggin’ irresistible. I don’t care what other people find attractive, cause I know what I find attractive”

”Does that mean you like my stretch marks too?”

“What do think?” His lips curl up into a mischievous grin. He presses his lips on the stretch marks of my round, squishy tummy, one hand holding me around the waist in place, and the other massaging my side in small circles. I freeze up to look at the reflection in the mirror. This isn't something that should be happening. People like me don’t usually get to experience something like this. It’s so foreign. I clearly must be dreaming right? 

It’s like I’ve been removed from my body and am now observing a complete stranger. The taller person looks familiar but I swear I’ve never seen the shorter one in my life before. They look like something I’ve never been; something I’ll never be: beautiful. 

Who is this person looking in the mirror? That could not possibly ever be me. There’s a handsome, kind, and strong, yet gentle man moving his hands and lips down to the person’s thighs, devouring them like they were the most delicious meal he’s ever had. Way better than anything the blonde-haired, curly-browed cook could ever make. 

He’s now speaking into their thighs in a sweet, deep voice. I can’t hear anything but I can feel the vibration of his voice. But wait… How am I feeling that vibration if those aren’t my thighs he’s speaking into. He then stands up straight and stands behind them, caressing every bit of skin on their gorgeous body with such devotion. If that was my body, this man would avert his eyes in sheer disgust. Certainly, no one would ever want to lovingly and willingly feel the plumpness of my body… right? He turns the person around and… no wait, that can’t be right. I should still be looking at the mirror. Why am I looking at the warm, dark eyes of the green-haired man that was worshipping that divine body just a second ago?

Could that have been-  No, it couldn’t have. Could it?

[tenyacore]

sweet summer days

-> husband!iida tenya x gn!reader

read before continuing!!: although reader is labeled as gender neutral, the kids sharing both your features and tenya’s implies female anatomy or the ability to bear a child. this can be twisted to be gender neutral friendly though, like a relative of yours being a surrogate. you have tohru (7), toshiro (6), and tomoe (5).

ack this isnt as good as i wanted it to be ㅠㅅㅠ it just sounded so much better in my head aaaaa. i just wanted sweet n soft cuteness. i also fell in love with the children omg i want. kids. now ...

warnings: none.

word count: 1.4k words

check out my masterlist for more of my works!!

laughter and the sound of tiny feet running across the hardwood floor filled your spacious home. what was meant to be a lazy day off for your husband has turned into a chaotic day of cheeky grins, sticky fingers, and rough splashes of pool water. your husband tenya, however, couldn’t be any more happier than he is right now.

the clinking of ice cubes against glass and the mattress dipping underneath you gently woke you up. you look up to see tenya opening a new book he bought recently, quickly becoming submerged in it’s contents. groaning ever so softly, you contemplated whether you should wake up or stay in your comfortable position. unfortunately you didn’t have much of a chance to decide, as your youngest, tomoe, woke you up with a soft grunt, kicking her feet in the air as she desperately tried making her way up onto your bed.

“tomoe? what are you doing up so early?” your husband asks, reaching over you to pick up the girl with ease. tomoe was the sleepiest of your three children; she was shy, silent, and soft in nature, much different than her two older siblings. it was rare to see her this active in the mornings, much less awake, as she had a tendency to nap whenever she saw the chance to.

“tohru and toshiro are fighting again” she whines, a lazy hand reaching up to rub her eye as you sit up, patting down the stray hairs sticking up from her head. she had shoulder length blue hair, with your eyes and smile, along with tenya’s quirk. he swore up and down that he’d train her the best he could so she could continue his legacy. while he promised he had no favorites, you could tell tenya was excited to have tomoe as his successor.

“ahh,” tenya shakes his head “those two tend to bicker quite a lot. did they wake you?” your daughter only responded with a soft nod, already falling back asleep, soothed by her father’s embrace and your gentle hand stroking her head. “i guess i’ll have to scold them a bit for making a commotion, then” tomoe let out a soft ‘mhm’ in agreement, her head finally resting against tenya’s chest as he stood whilst carrying her in his arms.

ever since graduating, becoming an adult, and starting a family with you, tenya’s become a much calmer man. it was a bit hard at first, but after learning from you and tohru that his stiffness and sudden movements aren’t exactly the most relaxing, he tried to become more loose. despite this, he’s still the awkward, nerdy, and strict boy you fell in love with at heart.

“you’re so mean tohru!” your son toshiro’s voice could be heard loudly as soon as you opened the door of your room. your two other kids were in the living room, minecraft sounds playing loudly over their argument.

“i'm not being mean, i'm being fair toshiro! papa made times for us to be on the game so we wouldn’t get into fights!” you sighed, thinking to yourself ‘so much for that schedule tenya put all that effort into’. “you shouldn’t have started a game when you knew your time was almost up!” tohru continued to holler at toshiro, who looked like he was about to cry.

tohru took mostly after tenya, his strict way of being mixing with your louder, more carefree side. she was a stickler for rules but enjoyed picking on her brother and had a tendency to be loud and over-the-top. she had your hair color but tenya’s sharp eyes. she had long hair and lighter skin than the other two from staying inside and reading more than being outside.

“tohru, sometimes, we can just choose to be nice. when you’re nice, most of the time your kindness will be returned. either way, seeing your kindness make someone happy will always be the best part of being nice. if you see that your brother is having a fun time, why don't you let him keep playing?” you take your eldest into your arms, pulling her close to you as you sat down. you weren’t afraid to talk to her about more complex/harder to grasp topics as she was extremely intelligent like her father.

“i guess you’re right…” she hung her head and sighed.

“yeah, tohru!” toshiro angrily huffed, chopping her head tenya style. tomoe continued to sleep as her siblings ran after each other around the house, chaos ensuing wherever they went.

“dad!” toshiro climbed tenya’s back and flashed you a toothy smile. toshiro was the most hyper out of the three, but also a complete cry baby. he was a proud older brother to tomoe yet relied on tohru to protect him, and was an all around happy, cute kid. he had short messy hair that was the same color as yours, with a single streak of blue. he was generally the most balanced combination of you and tenya and had much darker skin than the others, constantly playing around in the sun with todoroki’s kid.

he continued to poke his fathers cheek as he spoke “can we get in the pool today? can we? can we?” he repeated, only stopping and climbing down when your husband caved and said yes to toshi’s whining. “dad! (mom/dad/parent)! you should come in too!” was the last thing the little boy said before disappearing to quickly change and get his towel, which tohru did as well.

“what do you say? wanna go into the pool?” you asked tenya, getting up to change before toshi started whining again. tenya shook his head softly.

“i'm going to cut up some watermelon for the kids and then sit by the pool. i’d rather read for today.” he contentedly sighs as he moves toward the kitchen island, pulling out a watermelon from god knows where and starting to cut it. allowing him to enjoy his day however he’d like to, you went on ahead without him.

“how are you not burning up, ten?” you asked once he joined you all outside, just the mere sight of him in the blazing sun making you sweat. he just smiled and shrugged, continuing his book with the sounds of his children playing together in the background. you held tomoe cautiously as she half heartedly splashed the other kids. honestly, how she came out with a personality more like todoroki’s is beyond both you and tenya, though todoroki jokes that tomoe is really just his child that you guys stole from him.

the first to leave the pool was tohru, then curious toshi, and then you after tomoe whined that she wanted to go with the other two. they all went back inside, towels covering them before pouncing on the plate of watermelon like it was the last in the world. luckily tenya preplanned and saved a couple small slices for the two of you, otherwise you would’ve missed out.

laying next to your husband on the beach chair, he let out a soft groan when your cold, wet hair and hands met his warm skin. “did you not bring out a towel? you’re really cold, love.” you let out a whine which tenya knew meant ‘no and i regret not bringing one’. he adjusted himself to put his arm around you, in attempts to warm you up.

it wasn't long before the sound of children running came close, tohru chasing toshiro angrily and tomoe slowly trailing behind them. you chuckled as tomoe climbed onto you and tenya, a watermelon seed stuck to her cheek and another in her hair. as you removed the seeds, tohru and toshiro kept running after one another.

“toshiro you took the last piece of watermelon so don’t cry when you get what you deserve!” she shrieked, and you decided you probably should no longer let her go over to bakugo’s house, because as much as his youngest boy liked to read with tohru, the rest of his kids took after him, which was probably where she learned her more aggressive behaviors.

holding tomoe in your arms, your children became background noise that lulled you to sleep. the last words you heard were “papa can we go to sanrio puroland tomorrow!?” from tohru. with tenya being puddy at the hands of his children, it was safe to say the summer fun wasn’t done just yet.

[fireintheflames]

Ted Kord

– Overall opinion of them

I ADORE Ted Kord. What a guy! His design is top tier, he's got so much depth, and he's an annoying little shit. And I feel like that's what makes him great! I love that most of his struggles are less "supervillain/rivalry/world ending mega-events" (though he is certainly involved in plenty of those!) and more mundane things. Like depression, or struggling with his weight, or having no money. He's got a chronic heart condition, he's constantly on the verge of a breakdown, and he's out here kicking ass anyway.He just...feels like an actual person more than a comic book character. And, I cannot stress this enough, he's fun. I would want to be his friend. I would want to hang out watching Star Trek with him. He's just a guy, doing his best. Glad he's alive and active in comics again! And glad he's still funny.

– Gender/sexuality headcanons

Sexuality, 100% bi or pan! Ted's horny on main, constantly, in all directions. Like, he's a massive flirt in canon. But he's also very dedicated to anyone he's actually in a relationship. I think he probably has some struggles coming to terms with not being heterosexual, but grows more comfortable with it as time goes on.

As for gender, I am of the opinion that he certainly thinks of himself as a cis man. But I also think it's more something he hasn't put a lot of time into contemplating. I think Ted Kord’s relationship with gender is best summarized by the following comic:

– Favorite moment in canon

There are a few times this happens, and it is one of my favorite reoccurring little plots:

Alien invades earth in big, spooky spaceship

Ted Kord gets in the vents/service tubes, aliens ignore him because there are bigger immediate threats

Ted Kord gets to engineering/power/controls

Ted Kord does what he does best (techno-bullshit)

Ship explodes/stalls/is otherwise incapacitated

And it's fucking great, every time!

I also love this moment from Rebirth (which I enjoyed, even if my feelings are a bit mixed). I quote this to myself all the time, when I'm feeling stressed. I just love the moments when he reminds us why he's lasted so long in a very dangerous lifestyle. The brains and the moxxy!

– Favorite moment in a fanwork

In the fantastic fan-fiction A Groovy Kind of Love by totilott, he has this fantastic breakdown in the rain following some very stressful time traveling (including the fact that he absolutely does not get along with a past version of him). It's visceral. I literally had to get up and walk away the first time I read it.

Really, that whole series is great, highly recommend. He goes through a lot, and it's so fun to enjoy the journey he's on.

– Favorite line, in canon or otherwise Hmm, everything out of his mouth is pure gold, but I guess I'll have to go with a classic:

"My name is Ted Kord. I am the second man to call himself the Blue Beetle. I tell myself there will be a third. And I hope whoever he or she may be, they do better at it than I have."

– Characters I love seeing them interact with

Well, Booster Gold is the obvious answer. The best buddy-comedy duo in comics! And after that really all of the JLI! But I really dig his interactions and dynamic with Tora! They are always so supportive of each other, it's very sweet.

I also like his interactions with Babs in the Bird of Prey run. Reminds me of a lot of my online friendships, just two people with a lot in common who like hanging out!

I want him to hang out with the Question more.

– Last thing before sleeping headcanons

Ted strikes me as a classic, "just-one more thing" type of insomniac. Like just staying up way too late doing shit. So I guess before sleep, he probably takes a nice long shower to unwind, pop a few painkillers, and the proceeds to lie awake staring at the ceiling in bed until his brain shuts off.

– Sleeping habits headcanons

Ted sleeps like crap. He tosses, he turns, he throws off the blankets, then steals them back. He snores like a train, talks in his sleep, and generally just makes a lot of noise for someone unconscious. He also tends to fall asleep in improbable or uncomfortable places and positions. If he's sleeping next to someone, he will kick them in the shins. Guaranteed.

– First thing after waking up headcanons

I think he's one of those people who is absolutely shit in the morning. He's put his body through hell, waking up is painful!So he does a lot of stretches to get the kinks out, bitching the whole time. After that, puts the coffee on, pops his meds, and gives himself a solid hour to feel human.

– Favorite locations headcanon

Ted has always struck me as a basement kind of guy. Like, he'd be comfortable wherever as long as its dark, underground, and full of cool shit. He's mentioned being a city boy in canon, so I think he has a soft spot for places like dive bars and hole-in-the wall clubs. He loves Chicago and New York, and generally feels more at home in colder climates than warm. He strikes me as the kind of guy who rides the subway for fun, as well.

[tomatotoad]

hiii ! could you write an angsty scenario with shoto todoroki, where yn and him get in a violent argument (bc of momo or for any reason idk haha) in front of everyone. and reader is not a crybaby or anything, they talk back etc. shoto says after something that shuts down y/n. and he'll try to make up with them (fluffy end?) thank you!!

hi!! yes i’d love to write this thanks for submitting it :) ALSO REMINDER THAT MY ASKS ARE OPEN

(reader is in the hero department in this scenario, so if you wanted something different please don’t hesitate to ask again!)

Explanation

Todoroki x Gender Neutral Reader

Warning(s): angst

Word Count: 1,061

(gif by drunkencaterpillars)

Seething with anger, you swing open the 1-A classroom door with Todoroki on your heels. You attempt to slam the door shut on him, but he was too quick. He reached for your arm, but you flinched away. You’d sooner face an army of villains than let the man who just made a fool of you touch you.

“Y/n are you serious right now?”

“Are you serious right now Todoroki Shoto? You literally just said I’d be the worst hero in front of the entire class!” You exclaimed as you gestured to the class, shuffling in their seats in reaction to your argument.

“I didn’t say that, I just said that you wouldn’t be able to fight on your own like everyone in the class can. There’s still a lot you can improve, but you haven’t been putting in the work.” Todoroki states calmly.

You stare at him dumbfounded, thinking of all of the times had asked him for help with training to which he declined every time. Each one of those times, he declined because he already promised Momo to help her train.

“No you’re totally right,” you say sarcastically, “I definitely haven’t been putting in the work. Yeah, I mean, all of those hours I’ve spent alone training really didn’t account for anything, huh? I guess, by that logic, you could also say that your training sessions you have with Momo are a waste of time too?”

You wait for a response from either Todoroki or Momo. Neither of them answers quick enough for your liking.

“If you say I’m the worst hero in this class, then why do you spend so much time helping Momo but not me? Actually, better question, why even train with Momo when I’m your partner!?” You scream.

“Momo is my best friend, y/n, I want her to succeed and I want you to succeed,” Todoroki explains.

“Y/n it’s really not what you think-“ Momo starts before you cut her off.

“Momo, I know you have probably have a good explanation, but I’m not mad at you as much as I am this mess of a person right now,” you say as you gesture to Todoroki.

“I just don’t understand how you have the audacity to say that I’m a bad hero when I know I’m a bad hero that's why I’m asking for your help Todoroki,” you yell while looking straight into his eyes.

You see something snap in his eyes, almost as if bringing up your self-awareness of the issue was the last spark needed to start the fire.

“Well if you know that, why don't you just give up?!” Todoroki exclaimed. The fire in his eyes extinguished with the realization of what he just said to you.

Your resolve shatters as you stand there like a deer in headlights. After a beat, you slowly gaze around the classroom, just now remembering that you with your peers. One of your biggest fears is now the entire class's knowledge and you were too shocked to fight back. Without a single word, you quickly left the room and headed for the dorms. Todoroki was left with the pieces of your shattered heart in his hands.

It’s been an hour since your argument with Todoroki when you hear a knock on the door of your dorm. Raising your head from your tear-stained pillows, you contemplate not answering until you hear,

“I’m sorry,” from Todoroki on the other side of the door.

You roll your eyes as you get up to open the door.

"What?" you say to him firmly while clenching the side of the door.

Instead of answering, Todoroki just silently hands you a box. You eye him before slowly opening the lid, revealing the hero supplies you desperately wanted. All the objects in the box were things that you mentioned to Todoroki in one way or another. You would hug him if he wasn't the absolute worst right now.

"I hope you like them," Todoroki said softly.

"Of course I like them but," you gesture for him to come inside your room, "I'm not taking this as an apology, you know that," you say closing the door.

"I know, which is why I'm going to apologize right now," Todoroki says.

You set the box on your desk and pull out a chair for him to sit on while you sit on your bed.

"I'm sorry," He says with his usual monotonous voice.

There's a long pause as you look into each other's eyes.

"Is that seriously it?" you scoff.

"No, I'm just thinking of how to continue," taking a deep breath before continuing, "I stepped out of line today. I didn't mean when I said you should give up, you should never give up, Y/n. I've been training with Momo recently is because I already promised that I'd help her for a couple months. Plus, Momo actually likes Jirou, if that had anything to do with you being upset. Actually, yesterday was the last day of our training and I already have something planned with you for our internship next week," Todoroki explains.

You raise your eyebrows as he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a letter. Handing it to you, you skim over it quickly.

"Your dad invited me to intern with him?" you say in disbelief.

"Well, I technically invited you, he just needed to sign it so the staff doesn't get skeptical since we're going to be training together without him," he says as you reread the letter, "We're basically just going on vacation together, but instead of the beach and swimming, it's just going to be at my house and training," he continues.

He puts his fingers under your chin to raise your head.

"I'm sorry, I love you so much," he says with glossy eyes.

You felt the pure truth drip from the words he just uttered.

"I forgive you and I'm sorry too," you begin, "I should have heard you out completely," you finish.

You kiss him softly on the lips before quickly pull away to whisper in his ear, "If you ever yell at me again in front of the class, I will not hesitate to slap you,"

"Completly understandable," he says with a chuckle.

You grin as he brings you into a delicate embrace, holding you like he never wants to let you go.

[fabricated-misslieness]

Peter Parker x gender neutral hero reader

Had the idea out of nowhere, thought it’d be fun

Reader has the ability to resurrect, but have they told anybody? Guess what, no. This technically means that they’d be invulnerable to eternal death by old age, except they’d live dying from old age over and over until the end of time.

Requested: No

Word Count: 1842

Warnings: Major character death, swearing, angst to fluff, sad Peter, promise rings, car crash, atheist Peter and atheist reader, swearing

He thought the 5 stages of grief were false, just a meme to laugh at on the internet. Boy, was he wrong. It was real, all too real.

You'd proven him wrong.

He wished all the ceremonies would be done.

They were overwhelming. He barely had any time to grief before all the events had begun. As a result, he had to bottle up all his feelings. All those speeches he gave in frustration, all those fake smiles he had to give, and all those condolences he had to receive, he wanted it all to be over. When he had the time and everything was over, he finally realized that you were truly gone.

He wished he could have warned you sooner.

“Look out!” His spider-sense had told him before he could warn you. Those were his last words to you. All the pleading, shouting, sobbing.. that’d been done when you were long gone. It was his fault and he would never stop blaming himself for it.

He wished that by some miracle, you’d be with him again.

You didn’t have powers like him, you didn’t have powers, tenacity or years of training like most of the Avengers. You were just you, a teen without a family, with bare strength, flexibility, and the biggest heart he knew. Perhaps in another timeline, you’d never become a hero. You’d just be his lover, supportive and loving and caring and all that. He would do anything, kill, betray, massacre, if it meant having you back. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was irrational, but he wanted you to be here, with him. 

He wished you’d never left him.

But Peter can’t control life and death, the same way he couldn’t control your actions. You were gone. Nobody could change that and nobody would. He should stop visiting that sapling.. or maybe he should go more frequently. It made him cry more but… maybe that was the way to let you go.

He wished to live forever.

To visit that tree every single day until he died, to see it grow the size of a Coast Redwood, because he knew you were strong enough for that. To live for you, to continue going for you. You’d want that. You’d wanted kids, you’d wanted marriage, you wanted to die of old age with him, you wanted to do so much with him. If he couldn’t do most of those things, at least he could do one. At least he could live like you wanted him to.

Ned, Tony, the Avengers, they were like family to him. They, along with aunt May, had helped Peter come to terms with you. They'd been with him through and through, just like you had once.

Which is why he started all over again when he saw you.

“Hey Peter.” Soft-spoken words in the same gentle voice he’d learned to love. Yet, why was he hearing this again? For a second, he contemplated this, thinking about all the possibilities. This could be a new person with the same voice, he could be hallucinating, which makes ‘I can still hear their voice’ true; this could be some sort of recording… this could be you.

He whips around, almost too fast, to see you, in the flesh. This couldn’t be. You’d died, for god’s sake, you’d died! He saw your lifeless corpse. He was there at your funeral, he looked into your casket at the reception, you were there. So why the fuck are you here now?

“Who-” Peter chokes back a sob. He can feel the tears prick his eyes; he thought he’d ran out of shit to cry out, yet his body finds a way to defy him. “Who the fuck are you?” He has a right to be confused, and to feel threatened. He’s a teenager with superpowers who’d witnessed his partner’s death, and then suddenly he’s back in front of him as if nothing had happened. For all he knew, this could be a new supervillain with transformation powers. Loki and other mutants proved that anything could be possible.

"I know you're confused, and probably scared, but…" You step forward slowly, arms cautiously reaching out to your love. Peter slaps your hand away, but you understand why.

"No shit!" Peter shouts, backing away from you and towards his web shooters. Whoever you were, supervillain or not, you definitely knew about his powers. He could climb up the wall and get to safety. Though everything in him was fighting against his logic and longing to hear you speak and explain.

"I'm not here to hurt you," You step back, remembering just how shitty that phrase is. It's also a phrase a villain would use, and Peter knows that perfectly well. "I'm sorry about that. I don't mean it like a supervillain." It really felt like that was you, but he couldn't trust you until he was sure. "Peter, I'm your lover. I'm (y/n)."

Peter almost runs into your arms but he fights to stop himself. "How do I know that's you?" He shouts. The thin walls would alert neighbors, but he didn't care.

At one point, he'd begged and pleaded for you to come back. Now you were in front of him, and he hadn't done anything for this to happen; he was sure it wasn't those gods he prayed to, as an atheist.

"You can't." You mutter under your breath, hoping he doesn't catch it. You hadn't thought this through enough. You fiddled with your hands, pacing back and forth. Unbeknownst to you, you were scaring Peter. The pacing had made you look insane. Then, you got a thought. The promise rings you'd gotten each other like the cheesy naive teens you were. They were unique, custom-made, courtesy of Tony, and you were buried with yours. "Peter." 

"I was buried with this. There's no other like it." You hold up your hand, showing him the ring. "Hell, I was buried in these!" You gesture towards yourself.

Tears stream down Peter's face as he scrambles for his ring. He'd left his in his nightstand drawer while he cried all those nights. The engravings had scratched against his skin as he wiped his cheeks. He grabs it out of the mess of the drawer, the sight of it causing the tears to start rolling in bigger, hotter droplets.

"(y/n)!" Peter cried out. The promise ring was enough to prove you were… you. Plus, you looked sincere.

"Sweetheart." You sigh out of relief. Peter rushes over to you, wrapping his arms around you in a concerningly weak hug. He buries his head into your chest. You kiss him his hair multiple times to reassure him. "I love you, I'd never leave you."

"But you did!" Peter sobs, further staining your burial clothes. You didn't particularly like them or anything. Peter knew that, but your family was in charge of it.

"I know I did, I'm sorry." You cup Peter's cheeks and pull him to look up at you. The sight of his face, puffy and teary-eyed, it made you feel bad because you were the cause of it. "How about we sit down and I explain?"

He nods, pulling you over to the bed.

"You need anything? Water or..?" He shakes his head.

You sit on the bed, but Peter pushes you to lay down. He snuggles into your side, still sniffling but doing better. "Well, where do I start?"

You run a hand through Peter's hair as you think. "For starters, I can resurrect."

"What the fuck."

"I know, totally weird. I figured out when I got into a car crash. I was pronounced dead on the hospital bed, but when they came back to move the body, I was suddenly alive again. Nobody had an explanation, since they tried with a defibrillator earlier and it hadn't worked." Peter reaches for your hand. "They called it a miracle, some work of god. It sounded like bullshit so I never believed it. There was never really a second time until now, which proved my ongoing theory."

"That's… rough." He really didn’t have anything to say.

"That's rough, buddy." You quoted, to which Peter laughed.

For a moment, you sit in silence. Neither of you know what to say or even if you shouldn't talk. Maybe you should get up or maybe you should stay. Peter speaks up, ending both of your insecurities.

“So.. you’re alive. Does that mean we’ll get our happy ending? Get married… maybe have kids?” He looks up at you with pleading eyes, even if he knows you agree. You got these promise rings and you’d talked about your happy ending a whole lot. Should you be thinking that far ahead? Whenever you thought about the future, all you saw was Peter as your husband.

“Everything we’ve talked about. Yes.” You sit up a bit, which confuses Peter for a second until you pull him onto your lap and pepper kisses all over his face. It’s something you commonly do when talking about stuff like that.

“I missed this.” Peter mumbled. “But I do have one question, well, maybe a couple.”

“Ask away.”

“You were buried with the ring, so what happened with the grave?” You grimace, which makes Peter giggle in anticipation for the obviously chaotic story you’re about to tell.

“I dunno what happened, but it exploded. When I woke up the casket was broken and the dirt above it was scattered everywhere. Might have messed up other graves, hopefully the dead don’t come after me.” Speaking of which, you rub a little dirt smudge off your ring.

“Did it happen at the hospital, too?”

“No.” You shake your head, gazing off as you think about it. “Maybe it’s my powers looking after me. After all, I wouldn’t love being buried alive.”

Peter winces at the thought. “Right. Wouldn’t your powers mean that you’re immortal?”

“Yeah…” You frown, pressing a kiss on Peter’s nose to reassure the both of you, maybe more for yourself. “I would be, and I’d be very lonely too. Damn, never thought about that.” 

Peter pulls your hand up to his lips to kiss your ring. “Then live for me, just as I did for like a week.”

“A week? It’s been that long?” You scratch your head. “It was a few hours at the hospital. Maybe it’s cause of how brutal that dude beat me.” You shiver, remembering the pain you’d felt right before your death. “Has it made the news?”

“Yea. It’s like a movie now.” Peter laughs. “Fighting crime while the criminals think you’re a ghost. Wait.. wouldn’t that mean you’d have to hide your identity? I’d be alone with school, nobody to defend me from flash? Man, that’d suck.”

“Unfortunately. Although the crime fighting part is fun, the rest would be awful. Well, I could get a new identity. That cool haircut I’ve always wanted, a new cool name like… I don’t know, Remy?”

Peter laughs loudly, “Remy is not a cool name!”

“Hey, don’t hate on the Ratatouille rat.”

[ikkleosu]

I’m going all in - I love you and kisses, and here’s why

But this is my caveat: These are my speculations only. Do not come to me saying I ruined your mental health if this turns out not to be accurate. Yes, I’d have a good hit rate this season but I’ve also made horrific wrong guesses so take this all in the speculative fashion it is intended.

OKay, so a lot of people want to know what my thoughts are on if canon is going to happen, when, what’s going to happen in ep 14 etc. And it’s a complicated story, but the first thing I have to say is - the first step I start from is trusting Angela Kang.

I know, right? But this is the way I see it. Kang has taken the shit heap that Gimple left her and is trying to mould it into something that she wants, and more importantly that she thinks the audience wants.

This is backed up by the comments made by the new AMC boss saying they did lots of research into why the audience dropped, and what the audience wants. THAT for me is the MOST IMPORTANT key in why I think Caryl canon is happening. The show has so little left going for it with the loss of Rick and Michonne, and what Gimple did to the writing, and the way TV is and its age etc. They NEED to not piss the core, loyal audience off further. Not doing Caryl is doing that. Caryl is the most popular ship, that’s a simple fact. So yes, Caryl is happening and I think it’s happening now.

And all the things I thought at the start of the season still stand, in terms of the comments by AK and Norman. So yup, Caryl’s still happening.

SO, that said, HOW do I think it’s happening. Well I think 2 bits of the comic are key...

First, let’s talk “I love you”

To me it’s been set up all this season that Carol will eventually talk to Daryl, open up about everything and let him in emotionally. And then we get the information that episode 14 is called Just Look at the Flowers. So yup, I think that’s when it’s going to happen.

We know that it’s Daryl she’s going to open up to (not Lydia or Zeke) because we have Daryl saying “I’m the one you tell”, and saying he’s begging her to talk to him. 

Just Look at the Flowers tells us she’s going to talk about Lizzie - the root of her self-hatred and pain. Something she’s never talked about since Tyrese swore her to secrecy.  

This is foreshadowed this week as well with Glenn’s grave. Daryl feels responsible for Glenn’s death. He knows how Carol feels and is contemplating it. So it will come up as a topic, which it would when Carol blames herself for both Connie’s death and Lizzie’s.

She’s going to lay out to Daryl why she hates herself.

That is foreshadowed by the dialogue in this week’s episode. Lydia says “you hate yourself”, seeing right through her. And even more significantly, Carol asks Daryl if he hates her and he says “I could/would never hate you”. (Note this phrase as I’m coming back to it in a minute!)

I believe Kang is going to use the Rule of 3 with Carol’s self-hatred. It’s been brought up twice, the third time it’s brought up it’s resolved. i.e. the next time Carol says she hates herself, or that Daryl hates her, it’s going to be “fixed” because Daryl is going to tell her he doesn’t hate her, he loves her.

(I also think this scene may also resolve the Rule of 3 over Daryl liking Connie. Carol twice has said he likes Connie. If she brings it up again, he’ll correct her and resolve it)

Now, it may seem like I’m jumping the gun in thinking he’ll say he loves her. I mean, he can forgive her and show he wouldn’t judge her without saying that? 

Well, firstly, we have the most basic obvious answer this week - he would never hate her. So that rules that out. As I said before, you don’t have the same conversation with the same outcome. So it has to take it to another level.

And then there’s this from the comics:

TO explain, this is Carl - who had The Grove equivalent story in the comics - explaining to Lydia about when he told Andrea that he killed Ben (Lizzie).

Carl goes on to explain that when Andrea said I love you, he remembered his dad saying your parents love you no matter what, so this was the moment he started calling Andrea Mom.

Now this may seem a tenuous link here but let me explain. This scene DOES happen at the point in the comics we are at in s10, just after A Certain Doom, when Andrea dies. And yes I realise I’m bringing up the dreaded ghoul of a parent child relationship, BUT it is reversed here, with Daryl being mom. LOL

Because I think Kang is using this scene as basis for Caryl - Carol showing Daryl the absolute worst thing she’s ever done, and Daryl proving what he said this week, he could never hate her, in fact he loves her. Just like Andrea told Carl she loved him, and showed her love is unconditional. So this story is going to lead to Carol knowing Daryl loves her unconditionally. 

But what about kissing?

Let’s for argument sake say well, i love you doesn’t have to be romantic love. And true, it doesn’t. Except for all the clues in the first half of the season (Carol’s dream, the ships on the bedding, Daryl taking her a flower etc). And also there’s this...

Now those of you who have been with me for a long time know this story, because I have been saying this for 4 - COUNT ‘EM, 4!!! - years! And by the law of averages, FFS, i must be right eventually.

Here’s the original post I made about it, in case anyone cares:

https://ikkleosu.tumblr.com/post/140064036369/lets-hop-on-the-delusional-train

This is me harping on again about the comic scene where Rick and Andrea get together. 

Now, for whatever reason they chose not to use that storyline with Rick and Michonne. It comes from the Negan era, so yes it’s essentially past that point, but there may be a reason they kept hold of it.

And it does fit Carol’s story MUCH better than Rick’s... and it seems very likely Daryl and Carol are going to get some of RIck and Andrea’s comic stories...

So, what if this is part of the scene in Just Look at the Flowers?

Swap the genders, Rick is Carol. As we know, Carol is in this place now.

It’s believeable to imagine that after Alpha is killed by Negan, Carol feels lost. without that revenge, what has she got left? She’s empty and dead and doesn’t know how to go back to just living a life (as she mentions in this week’s episode). 

Remember in the MSF Daryl says “It’s like talking to a ghost!” Possibly foreshadowing this conversation, and Daryl saying to Carol “Isn’t it time you came back to life?” before the smoochy happens!

Look, as I say, I could be wildly wrong on all of this but I am sure this is all leading someplace.

People have pointed out this is going round in a circle, more Carol torture, Carol’s arc begin rehashed. And they are right. It is, but I think it’s deliberate.

I think Kang is retelling Carol’s arc but giving it the ending either she always intended or AMC intended or something. But I believe she’s retelling it with the purpose of giving it the ending it deserves - resolution with Caryl, ending Carol’s misery.

@onedayyoujustchange​ summed it up:

Connie/Magna in the cave - Karen and David at the prison

Connie - Beth

Henry - Sophia/Lizzie/Mika

Zeke - Tobin

Left at the cave - banished by Rick.

It’s all coming round but this time Carol is going to be allowed to feel and forgive herself and move forward instead of papering over the cracks.

[voleurdesoleil-archive]

Rub a dub

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles

Pairing: Nate x gender neutral detective

word count: 4.6k

read on ao3

It was late afternoon, judging by the warm rays of sunlight still coming through the high windows of the library where I had spent the whole day with Nate. The sunrays  were creating halos in which dust was slowly floating around, as if Time had slowed dramatically in the library to let us enjoy each other’s presence a bit longer.

This book-filled day had started with me telling the vampire about wanting to improve my Spanish, which we did at first. And to be fair, he was an excellent teacher. I could now see why Farah was so proud of him. But we had stopped long ago, favoring reading instead, although Nate had insisted on me reading a Spanish book. It will help you with your vocabulary, he said, flashing me a soft smile.  

But Spanish was far from our minds in this instant.

At some point during our reading, Nate had switched positions and was now lying comfortably in my laps. I had discarded my book to the side as I couldn’t focus on what I was reading with him in such close proximity. So I listened to his gentle voice as he was reading some Spanish novel, the words flowing out like a river of the sweetest honey. I watched his face closely, looking at every micro expressions he would make, such as the slight twitch of his mouth when something amusing came on in the book or the gentle frown that would settle in between his eyebrows as something not as loving was happening.

The sunlight made his eyes come alive, and the emotions he held in them were much more visible. Their color reminded me of the dark, varnished, most definitely antique furniture he had here, in his small sanctuary. His glossy hair was a little messy from moving around in my lap and I just couldn’t help myself but start gently playing with it, which I could notice awoke an immediate reaction within him.

Nate’s whole body relaxed as I raked my fingers through his beautiful hair. His reading came to a stop but I only noticed because his previously closed eyes were now peering into my own, curiously, studying my features, just like I did with him a moment before, in silent wonder. His deep gaze swept over my face slowly, like he was memorizing every feature of my face in fear that I would disappear.

My body reacted before my mind could comprehend what it was doing. I reached out a hand towards his face slowly, careful not to burst the bubble we had put ourselves into. With a breath stuck in my throat, I leaned closer and followed closely what they were doing. His skin was so incredibly soft and warm making my lips tingle at the thought of kissing him there. I enjoyed how he seemed to melt into my touch, his expression so open and welcome, making me wonder about confessing my feelings for him. Surely he would know already but there’s something about actually saying those words out loud that makes it much more real.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when a warm hand took mine and the softest pair of lips kissed my palm. My train of thought crashed through the front of my head and disappeared outside and suddenly any rational thought looked like a far away dream. The mischievous glint in his eyes tells me he knows exactly how this affected me and that he is very much pleased with it, like he was counting on it.

In a futile attempt to regain my composure I spoke up, my voice almost cracking with every word. “Rebecca said most of these books belong to you, do you have any favorites?”

Nate’s eyes lit up, our bubble bursting as he immediately stood up. “I do! I have a lot of favorites actually!” The vampire started walking around the room excitedly, like a kid in a toy shop during Christmas season, meticulously pulling out books of the many shelves as if he knew exactly where each one would be. Disappearing for a moment, he kept on rambling, his voice sometimes barely audible as he was moving away through the rows of bookshelves. “Being able to read in multiple languages is an absolute gift when it comes to books, first of all, it just gives me more books to read, because a lot of foreign books aren’t being translated into English, except for classics, but mostly because those translations are awful!” When he reappeared, he was holding a pile of books taller than him, and I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at how cute and overjoyed Nate looked. He carefully set the wobbling pile down on the coffee table before sitting back on the sofa next to me.

The pile was composed of mostly classics; Songs of Innocence, Leaves of Grass, Songs and Sonnets and a couple more collections of poetry. Authors such as Jane Austen, Edgar Allan Poe or Ernest Hemingway. The Catcher in the Rye, Wuthering Heights, The picture of Dorian Grey, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and many more, but one in particular caught my attention.

“A book about burning books, really?” I said, holding up Fahrenheit 451. I could understand why it was one of his favorites as it was also one of mines but, seeing how much he cared for his books, I couldn’t help but tease him.

To my utmost surprise, I could spot a few more contemporary books in there too.

“Percy Jackson?”

He started scratching the back of his neck, as I was pulling the series towards me. He owned the most beautiful edition I had ever seen. “Well I wouldn’t say it’s a favorite quite yet, but if I had to be completely honest, I’ve really enjoyed them and the whole universe, and this guy is actually one of the few to get his myths right, so it’s really close to being a favorite if that makes sense.” He gave me a sheepish smile.

“I can’t really blame you on that. I’ve read them way too many times not to have them as part of my own favorites.” I admitted with a laugh.

He was now sorting the books by languages in different piles. One pile in particular caught my eye and I leaned forward to read the spines. Les faux-monnayeurs, L’Oeuvre, La Peste, Parle-leur de batailles, de rois et d’éléphants, or Les Contemplations. I had to admit that seeing some of those titles had stirred in me a feeling I would have never expected: Nostalgia. Some of those books were part of my own collection, although mines did look a bit more worn out, as I had studied them back in High school, whereas Nate’s were in pristine condition, but some of them also held a special place in my heart. Just like the French language did.

“French books,” Nate said as he noticed where my focus had shifted.

His voice took me out of my trance. “You speak French?” I blurted out. “I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised because Farah did say you knew a lot of languages, but I never would’ve guessed French would be one of them.”

“Well…” his voice trailed off as he was pulling the pile closer to him. “French is actually one of my favorite languages…” He admitted almost in a whisper.

On hearing that, my mind quickly drifted away again and, ignoring the romantic thoughts that immediately started blinking in there like neon signs outside of a bar, I wondered if Farah had told him I was French.

I spent a couple minutes thinking of a way I could figure out if Farah had told him or not. A sheepish smile grew on my face as the answer was making its way into my mind. I was either the stupidest idiot or a genius.

“Will you teach me French?” I asked.

He looked at me, with a confused look. “You want me to teach you French?”

Oh god, Farah told him, I thought, but I still tried to play along with it and my smile turned into a smirk. “Of course! I’ve wanted to learn French for so long, and I bet you would be the perfect teacher!”

He seemed to think about it for a while and I couldn’t tell if it was because Farah had told him and he was wondering why I was lying, or if it was because he really didn’t know and was actually considering it. I chose to go with the latter when he agreed to teach me and asked if I knew any French words already.

“Well I do know some basic ones like ‘bonjour’, ‘mon ami’, ‘baguette’ and ‘croissant’”  I was trying so hard to fake my worst French accent, and Nate’s amused chuckle told me I was doing a good job. I tried to push my luck a bit more with my next move.

Trying to keep my voice as naive as possible, I asked: “There’s that one song I know that has some French in it but I don’t know what it means…”

“Tell me what it is and I’ll tell you!”

Trying to suppress a smile, I took a short breath. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”

Nate instantly choked on the tea he was sipping, almost spilling the whole cup on himself. He slowly put down the cup, his eyes wide and his cheeks beet red as I was trying to keep my lips tight not to let out a chuckle, but that didn’t quite work as I couldn’t help but smile at his expression.

The vampire cleared his throat “Well, it simply means that hmm…” He stopped for a bit, not sure where to look. Then his embarrassed gaze landed on me, and he managed to turn an even brighter shade of red. That’s when I bursted out laughing.

“Oh honey…” I let out in between giggles. “I know what it means already, I’m just messing with you!”

“You knew!? You knew and you didn’t tell me?!” He pointed an accusing finger in my direction which made me giggle even more. “You just sat there and basked in my embarrassment! You’re evil!"

My smile fell a bit as I saw a pout forming on his lips. “I know another word in French…” my voice trailed off as I tried to think of a way to comfort him. Once again faking my worst accent, I said: “Tu es très beau.”

His long lashes flickered quickly as he processed what I had just said. "Wh-what did you just say?” he stuttered.

I reached out to gently cup his cheek in my hand. “Oh Natey, French really does put you in one hell of a state…” I stated jokingly, but I had to admit that the effect French had on him was quite impressive, if all it took me to break him was a simple compliment. I took my hand off Nate’s cheek, the tips of my fingers slowly brushing against his jaw as I did.

But before I could fully pull away, Nate grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together. “You’re very pretty too.”

My heart skipped a beat at his words, his voice sending a pleasant shiver down my spine. The way his eyes slowly glided over my face before finally setting onto mine. My breath hitched and immediately I was sucked into his deep gaze. It felt like I was drowning in the endless pool of brown that were his eyes, the warmth in them strangely making me feel at ease, like I had finally found my long lost home.

I slowly leaned closer and his gaze now rested on my lips. Giving him a small smile I brushed our noses together and leaned my forehead onto his. I heard him sigh in relief, almost as if me being away was physically painful for him. We stayed like that for a while, basking into each other’s presence and enjoying the quiet bubble we wrapped ourselves in.

___

A few hours later, after a heavy dinner that Nate had prepared for us, we were laying in the peaceful quiet of his room. The silence rarely broken by the other vampires living at the warehouse. I was laying in Nate’s arms, his usual dazzling smile plastered on his face as he was stroking my hair.

“Why do you love French so much?” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. “I mean, it’s a rather difficult language to learn.”

“I know, but it’s still a beautiful language. I could talk for hours about how harmonious French sounds, but I’ll spare you that discussion.” He rolled over a little to face me. “It’s one of the first languages I’ve learned, and ever since, it has always had that resonance in me that most languages don’t have. It may sound a little silly, but I feel like it carries way more feelings than any other language I speak, and I’m not gonna lie…” A smirk had replaced his warm smile. He leaned closer, his breath tingling on my neck, to eventually whisper: “French is sexy.”

I almost choked on hearing that, rolling on my back and faking a cough to hide my mortified expression, but judging by the grin that Nate was giving me, my reaction was far from unnoticed. I couldn’t have possibly decipher if he was serious or just teasing me.

To spare myself further embarrassment, I quickly changed the subject and Nate was nothing less than eager to comply. Looked like he decided to have mercy on my poor soul. We talked until a word couldn’t come out of my mouth due to my tiredness and I fell asleep to the rhythm of Nate’s beating heart.

___

Nate was on his knees, crying for help as a blurred figure struck another blow. He barely had strength to lift his arms to protect his face. The chill of the rain was burning my face and seeping through my clothes as I tried to run towards him, but my legs gave in and I fell on my knees.

“Please stop! Stop hurting him!” I tried to yell but only a deformed wail came out of mouth. It was as if I was trapped in my own body. Unable to move. Unable to save him. My throat clenched as I tried to suppress a sob, but that didn’t keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks.

Nate took another punch, but this one seemed to be the last his bloody figure could take and I watched helpless as he collapsed on the floor. The aggressor was on him before he could even try to get up.

Now that the other vampire had slowed down, I could distinguish his features a bit more and a shiver ran down my spine as I managed to recognize Murphy.

I tried to get to Nate once again as he took a syringe out of his coat.

“Leave him alone!” Although desperate the words managed to come out of my mouth properly this time, but it barely got me a glance from Murphy whose sole focus was on Nate.

“It’s me you want! Take me! I’ll do whatever you want!” I pleaded. “But let him go… You don’t need him!”

This time it seemed like I had managed to catch the vampire’s attention. “You’re right detective… I don’t need him.” He said as he plunged the needle in Nate’s neck.

___

“Agh!” I woke with a start and immediately rolled over to search for Nate, but I was only met with cold sheets on the other side of the bed.

Panic seizing me, I fought to get out of the tangled sheets. “Nate?” I called in a whisper, afraid something would come out of the dark to attack me. I flinched with a shriek as the plushed rabbit from the Carnival fell at my feet, a folded piece of paper next to it.

Crouching on my knees, I grabbed both of the items. Immediately calming down as I recognized Nate’s fancy handwriting spread on the paper. “Went on a mission, will be back soon”, I read out loud. Clutching the little rabbit in my arms, I was surprised to notice that it smelled like Nate and without noticing it, I held it a bit tighter against my chest. A smile grew on my face as I read what was written inside the note.

“Nineteen Eighty-Four, page 124”. The vampire had drawn a little heart next to that sentence and I knew the exact line he was referring to.    

“I love you too” I whispered. The plushed rabbit being the only witness of that sudden confession.

Our discussion from earlier this afternoon came back to my mind and the idea of confessing my love to him resurfaced.

I settled behind Nate’s mahogany desk, set the note and rabbit before me and grabbed some paper to finally put down in words how I felt towards the vampire.

___

After a couple of hours, the sun was slowly rising on the horizon, peaking weakly through the tree crown. I stretched as I contemplated my finished love declaration.

I folded the sheet of paper and slid it along with Nate’s note in the pocket of my coat. “Time to go back to sleep” I mumbled to myself as I grabbed the plushy.

___

It felt like a couple of minutes had passed when I was woken up again by my phone buzzing manically on the bedside table.

Thinking it was a phone call, I brought the phone to my ear, my eyes still half closed. “Hello?” The only answer I got was a buzz. Bringing the phone back in front of my face, blinking painfully at the bright light, I managed to decipher the last text Farah had sent me, lost in a sea of question marks and my name in caps.

“Didn’t you say you were French?”

“I am”

“Then why did Nate say he taught you French yesterday?”

Fear gripped me as I threw off the bed sheets and jolted up out of bed. Furiously typing, I ran out of the room, barely managing to stop myself from bumping into Adam.

“Detective? Is there something wrong?” He asked, actual worry in his voice.

“Not yet!” I answered already running away. Halfway through the corridor I came to a stop and turned around. Adam was still standing in front of Nate’s door, looking at me with a confused look on his face. “Adam?”

The leader slightly shook his head. “Yes?”

“Do you happen to know where Nate and Farah are?”

“The kitchen I think. Nate said he would cook breakfast for you, before you woke up.” He threw me a grin. “I guess his plan kind of failed.”

“Thanks Adam!” I answered, running off. I waved at him when I turned at the corner.

When I finally made it to the kitchen, I stopped before the door, taking a moment to catch my breath. I ran my hand over my hair and lifted my phone to check myself in the reflection on my screen. I plastered a calm smile of my face before pushing open the door to the kitchen.

Farah was sprawled over a chair, as was her habit, and Nate was cooking, his back turned to me. He hadn’t noticed my entrance yet. Glaring at Farah, I mouthed the words: “Did you tell him?” to which she answered with a shake of her head. I let out a sigh of relief and that’s when Nate turned around.

His smile immediately grew. I walked to him and casually grabbed a cup in the cupboard above his shoulder, reducing the space between us to almost nothing.

“Comment va l’homme le plus sexy du monde?” I asked, turning away to hide the grin on my face as he dropped the spoon he was holding. I didn’t give him time to reply and kissed his cheek.

[ How’s the sexiest man in the world doing? ]

Grabbing the kettle and pouring water in my cup as if nothing happened, I tried to remember what I had written down during the night. “Tu sais, il y a ce garçon, tu devrais le voir, il ressemble à un dieu Grec, qui a ce sourire magnifique et à qui je pense énormément ces derniers temps. D’ailleurs, ça fait plusieurs jours que j’essaie de trouver comment lui avouer ce que je ressens.”

[ You know, there is that guy, you should see him he looks like a Greek God, who has that dazzling smile and whom I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. As a matter of fact, I’ve been trying to find a way to tell him how I feel for a few days now. ]

I leaned against the counter now facing Farah. The young vampire was sitting on the edge of her seat, almost gripping the table so hard that I was afraid she might break it from excitement. She was staring at me with her mouth wide open. Morgan was also now sitting beside her, caring enough to have forgotten to lit up her cigarette and Adam was entering the room.

I returned my attention to Nate. “Et hier, comme par miracle, il m’annonce qu’il parle français. Alors depuis j’ai bien réfléchi à ce que je pourrais bien lui dire; j’y ai même passé toute la nuit. Maintenant, je pense avoir trouvé.”

[ And yesterday, miraculously, he announces that he speaks French. So, ever since, I’ve thought a lot about what I could possibly say to him; I’ve even thought about it all night. Now, I think I’ve finally found the answer. ]

I could hear Farah gasp and say something along the lines of “I love foreign movies, Morgan please grab the popcorn and Adam do the subtitles.” Glancing at them, I could see Adam rolling his eyes, but he still, reluctantly sat next to Farah, still trying to understand what was happening.

Nate was now a confused mess, his usual smile had been replaced by tomato red cheeks and the food in his pan was starting to burn. I turned off the gas and sat on the counter, pulling Nate in front of me to be face to face with him.

“Alors voilà, je pensais lui dire à quel point je le trouve mignon, et qu’à chaque fois qu’il sourit, mon coeur se met à battre la chamade; mais ça, je pense qu’il le sait déjà.” I smiled to the vampire.

[ So here goes, I was thinking of telling him how cute I think he is, and that every time he smiles, my heart starts to pound wildly; but I think he already knows that. ]

In the corner of my eye, I could see Adam, finally understanding what was happening, standing up and grabbing both Morgan and Farah by their collar and dragging them out of the kitchen. Adam had the biggest smile I’d ever seen him with plastered on his face as he closed the door.

I knew from the noise outside that the stern vampire was probably guarding the door as Farah was trying to listen through it.

Putting my hands on the waist of a still speechless Nate. I softened my voice, making my confession more intimate as the words flowed out of my mouth. “Je voulais aussi lui dire que depuis que j’étais enfant, j’avais toujours rêvé d’apprendre à danser la valse avec mon âme soeur et que s’il voulait bien, on pourrait peut-être apprendre à la danser tout les deux. Que j’aimerais beaucoup passer mes après-midi avec lui dans son endroit préféré, la bibliothèque à l’étage du dessous, et qu’on pourrait lire nos bouquins préférés ensemble.

[ I also wanted to tell him that ever since I was a kid, I had always dreamt of learning how to waltz with my soulmate and that if he was willing to, maybe we could learn how to waltz together. That I’d very much like to spend all my afternoons with him in his favorite place, the library downstairs, and that we could read our favorite books together. ]

My hand reached up to cup Nate’s cheek. Still a flustered mess, his confusion had gone away and a wide smile started to grow on his soft face. He leaned in the touch.

“Et je voulais aussi qu’il sache que s’il le fallait, pour gagner son coeur, je lui dédierai tous mes écrits. Que chacun des mots que j’écrirai, à partir d’aujourd’hui et jusqu’à la fin de ma vie, seraient pour lui, et lui seul. Maintenant, je sais très bien qu’il pourrait trouver mieux que moi, mais que s’il le voulait on pourrait se lancer. Parce que moi je pense que ça peut donner quelque chose de beau, parce qu’après tout…” I leaned closer, to whisper in his ear. “Je l’aime…” My voice trailed off as Nate’s hands to came to rest on my waist and that his head came to rest in the crook of my neck. I could feel his tears crashing on my skin.

[ And I also wanted him to know that if it was necessary, to win his heart, I’d dedicate all of my writings to him. That every single word I would write, from today until the day I die, would be dedicated to him, and him only. Now, I know fairly well that he could find someone better than me, but that if he was willing to we could try. Because I think it could end up being something beautiful, because after all… I love him. ]

“And what’s the name of this guy?” he eventually whispered.

“His name is Nathaniel Sewell, but he prefers Nate.”

After a few moments that actually felt like an eternity, Nate lifted me off the counter to pull me in a tight embrace, my arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. “Did you fake not knowing French?”

I nodded. “I’m French silly…”

“You are?!” He almost dropped me. “Sorry…” he said as he let me down on the counter again.

“I am. I was surprised to discover Farah hadn’t told you as soon as I told her to be honest.”

“Farah knew?”

“Yes, it came up when she visited me at the station last time. Sorry I didn’t tell you.” I gave him a sheepish smile “And I’m sorry I lied to you yesterday, but when I realized you had no idea, I thought it would perhaps be a good idea to confess like that…” I glance around the kitchen and let out a chuckle. “Well that’s not exactly how I had planned it, but I panicked when Farah texted me this morning, I was hoping it would be more romantic… Gosh I’m rambling…”

“I don’t mind…” he said as he leaned closer. Our lips were a couple centimeters apart, but he didn’t move closer, as if he was waiting for the permission to kiss me. I leaned forward and captured his lips and it seemed that right in this moment, time itself stopped. The kiss was everything I have hoped it would be. It set my whole being on fire, making my body tingle all over with happiness. His lips were the sweetest thing I had ever tasted in this world, making me addicted and never wanting to let go of him.

I pulled him closer by his belt loops, wanting, needing him to be closer. The kiss was so soft it made me feel like I was floating to the sky to gently lay on those fluffy clouds. It made me feel whole and happy. Nate made me happy.

And I hoped I made him happy too.

[lockedstuck]

how to make friends and influence people

March 2021

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you probably should have thought this through better.

Picture a thin blonde girl sitting by a phone, being watched by a woman in navy blue scrubs. The girl wears light blue hospital issue pants, and a white T-shirt with a pink cat on it. Her frustration shows clear as day, from her posture to her facial expressions. She yanks the phone off the hook and punches in a number with such speed that the gesture must be semi-unconscious. She puts the phone to her ear, waits a few moments, then swears loudly. Then, in a tense voice, she begins to speak.

“Mommy, this is the fourth time I’ve called you today… Please call me back when you can.”

Her bobbed hair bounces as she turns to face you.

“Oh!” she exclaims. “Did you want to use the phone?”

Yeah, yeah you did, to call your unceasing nag of a brother. He’s the reason you’re here in the first place, since he’s the fucker who called 911 on you. Therefore, he should have to bring you clothes. You grab the phone and dial Kankri’s number. He does not answer. You listen to his voicemail and grow progressively angrier. You mentally curse him and his next seven generations.

The weird blonde girl watches your frustration with a hint of amusement. This will not do.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” you ask her. She blinks, shrugs, and walks away.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, you’ve been in the loony bin for ten minutes, and you’re already pissed off. Score one, you.

Apparently you arrived just in time for morning meds, so all the fucking loonies are out on parade, including the blonde girl, who gives you a friendly wave. You scowl. Nobody has told you where to put your shit yet, or deigned to assign you a room. Not that you have much shit to put anywhere. Just the clothes you arrived in the psych ER with - a black turtleneck, and black sweatpants. They took away your shoes and gave you a pair of hospital socks.

Allegedly this is one of the nicest hospitals in the area. Go fucking figure.

Finally, after what feels like six hundred years, an orderly tells you that you’re in room 1224, on the men’s side.

Wait, there are sides? The psych ER wasn’t organized according to gender; you were stuck there with two homeless people (one man and one woman), an alcoholic, and some guy who had overdosed on alprazolam. Whatever, though. You shuffle your ass over to room 1224, which is about thirty feet away. You drop your stuff in the closet, take one look at your snoring roommate, and go back outside.

The blonde girl - having taken her medication - dashes back to the phone, dials a number, waits a moment, and then bursts into tears.

Great. You should have never written that note. Now you’re stuck in here with this chick. You contemplate trying to comfort her, and decide that you’d probably suck at it.

Another person saunters past her and stops. She’s a few shades lighter than you, and has these long Poetic Justice type box braids. Her green dress looks like it’s been immaculately pressed. She tugs the hem down to fully cover her thighs. She also has three eyebrow rings, a lip ring, and a full face of makeup. You didn’t know staff could have piercings. She offers the blonde girl a hug. You really didn’t know staff could do that.

This is not what you were expecting from the psychiatric ward.

“Roxy, why are you crying again?” the woman asks. Roxy sniffles and swipes at her eyes with the back of her arm.

“I had a nightmare and my mom won’t answer the phone,” she responds. “Where is she?”

“Asleep, most likely. It’s awfully early, isn’t it?”

“I guess so,” Roxy admits. She gives the woman a weak smile. “Did you go for vitals yet?”

The woman sighs and nods. “Yeah. 92/53. They’re telling me to drink more water since my pressure’s so low and my heart rate’s so high.”

Wait. That woman must be a patient.

She doesn’t seem like the type. She’s too authoritative, too poised.

You take a look at her again, scanning her for some sign of insanity. Maybe a few marks on her brown arms where the razor slipped. You search her carefully, not trying to seem like you are.

She has one thin, deep, healing scar down each wrist. Well, then.

She manages to pick up on you, because at that moment she turns to face you. She smiles.

“You must be the new admission to the unit,” she begins in a cool, pleasant tone. You’re reminded of a receptionist.

“Uh, yeah.”

She offers you her hand to shake. “I’m Porrim. Porrim Maryam.”

“Karkat,” you reply.

--

Trying to sleep in your room is an absolute trip. It goes the way everything in your life has been going, absolutely fuckawful.

“I won’t take it!” a high-pitched voice exclaims, all of a sudden, jolting you out of your light sleep. “Water you even playing at?!”

Oh, how you can empathize with that sentiment, furious as you are with whomever voiced it. Fuck the psych ward. With distinction. You peer out of your room, and watch a black girl in a purple onesie sprint down the hallway, yelling all the while.

Your roommate, who had heretofore been snoring with his mouth open fish-wide, starts to mutter things at the ceiling.

“Nurse Esther musta tried to give Clozapine to Fef again,” he says. “What an idiot.”

He looks at you and blinks. Fully registers your presence. He props himself up on one hand and stares some more.

“You must be my new roommate,” he says. “I think. Are you?”

You roll your eyes. “No, I’m just here for shits and giggles.”

He snorts and turns on the light. Apparently he’s got the front part of his blond hair dyed purple. You’d never do anything like that personally, but it looks okay on him. He gropes for his glasses and crams them onto his face.

“Christ, you look awful,” he says.  

Where the fuck does he get off saying that?

“You don’t look so hot yourself.”

Your roommate curses and shakes his head.

“Nah, I didn’t mean it like that,” he goes on. “I mean, you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“I haven’t,” you reply, thinking of the time leading up to your suicide attempt. Not even an attempt, really. More like… a contemplation. A contemplation that led you to telling Kankri you’d rather jump in front of the train than send one more month in your parents’ house,

“Well, you’ll get lots of sleep here. There’s not much else to do. The name’s Eridan, by the way. Welcome to 3 East.”

“Thanks,” you say. “I’m Karkat.”

“Nice to meet you.”

A few minutes later, someone starts knocking on your door. Eridan groans.

“If it’s Roxy, tell her to come back in half an hour. I got ECT today. I need my beauty sleep.”

“The crying girl?” you ask.

“Was she on the phone while she was crying?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s Rox, then. She calls her mom every four hours and then flips a shit if she doesn’t answer,” Eridan says. “Ever heard of Rose Lalonde?”

Before you started transitioning a couple years ago, they had you in the women’s unit for a week. Dr. Lalonde saw you twice over that seven day period and was probably the only clinician who reliably used your pronouns.

“The psychologist for the unit downstairs?” you ask.

“Exactly,” Eridan says. “That’s Roxy’s mom.”

Well, fuck.

---

A couple of days later, there’s a new admission. Kid looks comprised of a bunch of coat-hangers and duct tape, all angles and gangle. He walks up to use the phone, without realizing there’s a line for the phone already behind him. Gamzee just rolls with it, even though he was next in line. This dude is clearly a massive douche. He’s only on for a couple of seconds though - you assume whomever he was calling didn’t pick up.

When the good ugly fairy was handing out ugly, she must have dumped in almost as much for him as she did for you. He is by far the skinniest dude you have ever seen. And being that everyone in your major in college was hopped up on amphetamines, you have seen some truly thin people. If a strong breeze hit him, he’d fly clear to Canada.

Roxy asks him for his name, and when he replies, “Thollukth Captor”, with the universe’s thickest lisp, you can’t help yourself. A snort escapes your mouth before you can take it back. The dude looks at you with a narrow-eyed suspicion, and you raise your eyebrows at him in response. How does he talk like that and not expect mockery?

“And uh...” Roxy trails off helplessly. “How do you spell that, exactly?”

“What’re you, with regithtration, or thomething?”

“I was just curious.”

You won’t laugh, Karkat. You swear it. You thwear it, to use this man’s parlance. Unfortunately, though, you’re grinning. His eyes alight on you, and he gives you a quick, “the fuck are you looking at, aththhole?”

“Call me an asshole again and I’ll cram those glasses so far up your ass they’ll need a colorectal exam to find them.” 

[aetm-malereaderimagines]

Hey! How about a male reader scenario where the reader has an intense crush on Sawamura Daichi and finally confesses to him ( after a LOT of struggling) only to find out Daichi was also about to confess to him on the same day. Also i love your effort to make male reader scenarios. It really makes it easy for queer males to also have the same experience as straight female fans. Keep it up!!

Firstof all, thank you for your request! Second of all, duh XD I’m a gayguy myself so ofc I write gay fanfiction! Mymain reason to start this blog was actually my frustration caused bybeing unable to find decent HQ!! reader inserts where the reader islegitimately gender-neutral. Yes, even gender-neutral. There are some nicemale reader inserts out there but they’re few and far between.So I usually end up looking for gender-neutral insterts, headcanons, and scenarios but… Some of them areblatantly meant for female readers. Some of them claim to be gender-neutral but you can clearly see they’re actually not or just employ male and female gender stereotypes I’m definitely not comfortable with. And some ofthem are female reader inserts that are tagged as x male reader… SoI decided to say “fuck it” and create some content myself that myfellow queer readers can actually enjoy! LGBT people are alreadydenied the same experience regarding love and sexuality that straight people get so if I can somehow contribute to making this world ofours a little less fucked up for my fellow queer folks, that’s all I could ever wish for!

Okay, but enough of myinconsistent rambling and let’s get into the actual scenario!Although I probably have a crush on every and each HQ!! character(well, maybe except some of the older guys lol), Daichi is actuallyone of those I’d probably consider the best boyfriend material soI’m really glad you requested a scenario for him! Justfyi, I made the readerKarasuno’s 2ndyear manager so that Ihave something to start from, hopefully you don’t mind. Ireally hope you’ll like it! enjoy!

Also let me apologize that it took me so long to write this but for some reason, I’ve been feeling utterly uninspired lately :/ It took the first episode of S4 and a volleyball match I watched yesterday for me to finally get some inspiration to finish this scenario XD

Pairing: Sawamura Daichi x Male Reader

Word count: 1659

告り告られ — A Double Confession

“Oh come on, just confess tohim!”

“You know I can’t!”

“You can and you will!”Yachi’s eyes bored into you and you turned your gaze away, feelingas though those two goldenorbs were penetrating your very soul. “Why do you have to make itharder than it actually is? You like him, you confess, you gettogether. Simple!”

“Like hell it would go thatsmoothly,” you scoffed. “I don’t even know if he’s gay.”

“Oh come on, have you not seenhow close he is with Sugawara-san?”

“But that’s precisely theproblem!” You looked Yachi in the eye confrontingly. “If he’snot gay, I don’t even have a chance, and even if he is, I stilldon’t have a chance since he’s probably already inlove with Suga-san.”

“…you will confess to himeventually anyways,” Yachi cut the conversation, pouting.

You looked away. You knew she wasright. You were going to confess to him eventually. It’s just… Itwas so fucking hard to work up the courage. You’dhad a crush on Daichi since your first year, since a while afteryou’djoined the volleyball club.

Atfirst, it was all fun and games. Youjoined the club simply because you liked volleyball but getting towatch pretty boys get all worked up and sweaty while playing was anice bonus for you. Once you realized you liked Daichi, it got evenmore fun… for a while. Howmany people could say they get to see their crash shirtless on adaily basis?

But the longer you watched, thecloser you got to him, the more painful it got. Daichicould look scary at first, especially during practice sessions whenhe had to rein in first and second years, but asalways, appearances couldbe deceptive. Youmanaged to befriend him, also getting closer with Suga and Asahi inthe process, but soon yourealized that being just friends was hardly enough for you. Youstill couldn’t forget that one time when Daichi said you were “likea younger brother to him” and how much it hurt.

“All right!”

What snapped you out of yourcontemplation was Daichi’s voice. Whileyou were bickering with Yachi standing on the side of the court, theboys were actually training. Shimizu was in charge of taking notestoday so you and Yachi didn’t have much to do at the moment.

You turnedyour eyes in the direction Daichi’svoice had come from. Andthere he was, looking asgood as always, with that damn smile of his he always had on his faceafter a good receive, just a few feet away from you.

So close yet so far.

It was the day. It was the dayyou were going to confess to Daichi.

It had been a month since yourargument with Yachi. Over the last 30 daysand even more late-night phone calls with Yachi, you decided toconfess your feelings to Daichi. Even if he didn’t like you back,you wanted him to know what you feel. The days were growing longerand Spring High wasgetting closer and closer. Regardless of whether you won or lost, thethird-years were going to quit the club once the tournament was over.And once that happened,you were bound to grow more distant with Daichi, let alone having achance to confess to him. If you were going to do it, you had to doit now.

The morning sun was shininggently upon you as you walked through the schoolyard withyour heart pounding in your chest andyou still had like half a day to go before the actual confession. Youreally hoped your teachers wouldn’t quiz you today. You’dprobably fail it miserably since you couldn’t focus on anythingelse but the dreadful perspective of what was going to happen thisevening.

Yourplan was simple. You were going to take alittle longer cleaningup after practice so that you end up staying alone in the storageroom. Then, Yachi was going to “notice” that you’re missing andask Daichi to go and look for you because she had “somethingimportant to talk to you about.” If everything went smoothly, youwere going to end up alone with Daichi in the storage room. That wasgoing to be your chance.

When you were going overthe plan in your head walking down the hallway, your phone rang. Youpulled your phone out of your bag to find out you had a new text fromYachi.

“I’m sorry m(_ _)m”

You tilted your head. That wasall she wrote.

“What do you mean?” youtexted back as you entered your classroom.

You spent the first periodstressing over Yachi’s message. Whatever she was sorry about, itwas bound to be nothing good.

Turnedout Yachiwas sick.

Accordingto Yachi herself, he had suddenly felt really unwell last night whichhadturned out to beonly the beginning of a long, feverish night. Whenher mom had taken her to the doctor this morning, she’d beendiagnosed with a bad case of influenza. Shewould probably be staying at home for at least a week.

Yourplan was ruined, which of course made you very upset… but somewheredeep in your heart, you also felt kind of relieved that the momentyou were going to confess to Daichi was put off by at least a week,and you hated yourself for it.

Youlet out a deep sigh as you leaned against a mop you held in yourhands. Youended up being the last one left in the gym anyways, no matter yourplan. You’dlied to Shimizu and the guys about needing to clean up the storageroom—you needed some time foryourself.

“Needsome help?”

Youturned your face up to find the source of the voice only to be facesby Daichi leaning against the door frame, looking at you.

You gulped.

You didn’t even need your planto be left alone with Daichi.

If this wasn’t the heavenstelling you it was high time you’d confessed then what was.

“Yeah,actually, I’m really glad you’re here,” you said, lookingstraight at Daichi. “There’s something I need to tell you.” Yougulped. “I like you.”

Youfinally said it.

Daichi stood in front of yousilently, as though processing what you had just said, and you justwaited. You weren’t going anywhere until you got an answer,especially given that Daichi was standing in the doorway, blockingyour way. You had quite a spectacle to watch anyways.

Thefirst few seconds, Daichi’s face just… froze, as he stared at youunblinkingly. Then came a slight blush which gradually turned moreand more red eventually taking on the color of an especially ripebeet. Hecovered hismouth with both of his hands, as though he was in an utter shock.Which he probably was. It took him like half a minute to calm down.Once his blush subsided a little bit, he lowered his hands andfinally let himself blink.

“I… I like you, too,” hesaid quietly, turning his eyes away from you.

“No, I don’t mean it likethat.” You smiled sadly. “I mean it, like, in a romantic way.”

“That’s what I mean, too.”

This time it was you that foundyourself shook to the bone.

“What…wait, what?!”

“I actually came here toconfess to you,” Daichi explained, his blush growing brighteragain. “Shimizu told me you’d said you’d stay in the gym alittle longer and everyone else has already left so I thought it wasmy chance…”

You stared at each otherwordlessly for a few seconds. You were the one to start laughing.

“Whatthe hell is this?! Whathave I even been worried about this past year?!”

“Iknow, right?” Daichi giggled as well. “Wait,you’ve had a crush on me fora yearalready?!”

“Over a year, I’d say,” youresponded. “You?”

“You beat me on that one.”Daichi’s smile was really the most beautiful thing you’d everseen. “I’d say since the previous Spring High? You remember howyou cheered me up after we lost? That’s when I realized.”

“Isee.” You couldn’t stop grinning. “So I guess we’reboyfriends now?”

“I guess so.” Daichi grabbedyour hand and pulled you toward the door. “Let’s go hometogether.

“That’s so amazing!!!!!!I’m so happy for you two!!!!!!!!! And I’m so so sorry I couldn’thelp you today T_T”

You smiled at your phone. Yachiwas really the sweetest.

“If you hadn’t supportedme this whole time, I wouldn’t have confessed to him in the firstplace!”

“Sorry you had to wait.”

You put your phone back into yourpocket as you turned your eyes to Daichi. He had to grab hiss stufffrom the club room and you’d been waiting for him downstairs.

“No problem,” you responded,readjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “Shall we gothen?”

“Let’s.”

You walked down the streetleading up to the school. You were talking and laughing, enjoyingeach other’s presence. It was late and there was nobody around.Daichi grabbed your hand and you squeezed it back.

“Hey,” Daichi started, hisvoice sounding a little anxious. “Don’t you wanna come over? Myparents are at home but I’m sure my mom will be happy to have youover for dinner. We could watch some movies or something.”

“Sure thing,” you respondedwith a smile. “I’d love that.”

Daichi smiled at you again andyou couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. You leaned in placing agentle kiss on his lips.

A clap of distant thunder rumbled throughthe skies. You couldn’t know that yet but it was just the beginningof a thunderstorm that was going to force you to stay the night atDaichi’s house.

Not that you minded.

[forkanna]

WARNING: I did tell you that Rise and Ai will have some views on gender and sexuality that I don't agree with. Well here they come in the next few chapters. Please take everything my characters say with a grain of salt; these are simply very realistic reactions and opinions, even if less than ideal.

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

-----------------------------------------------------

Why could she suddenly hear "Purity" playing in the background again?

"You… huh?" Rise finally managed. She had no idea how long it had taken her to say that much, even though it was practically nothing and she had already said that.

"Maybe… ugh. Now I'm embarrassed."

"What- now you're embarrassed?"

"Yes! Because clearly, it did something for me and it didn't do anything for you, so I'm all alone in caring about this, and I feel so stupid!"

Frantically waving her hands, Rise scooted a little closer as she hissed, "Wait, wait, slow down for a sec! I never said it didn't mean anything to me!"

"You did!" she sniffled, trying to recover from her emotional outburst.

"No, I said it wasn't the end of the world, and it's not that big a deal! But I… I'm not going to pretend I didn't feel anything at all. I did. You just seemed really upset about it, so I was… trying to let you know everything's okay."

Ai was glancing over at her occasionally now, clearly unsure of what she should do. Her mouth opened and closed a few times indecisively. "Ugh. I'm ridiculous. This is ridiculous, I don't know why we can't just be normal friends. What is wrong with me?"

"Um… can I ask you a question?"

"Might as well."

"Is this… Class S yuri, or… did you really…?"

They both looked at each other in shock for a moment. Rise was positive that they both were feeling the same thing, as well: the same sensation one gets standing at the edge of a deep precipice, fighting down vertigo and the unhealthy urge to throw oneself down. She couldn't help tracing the contours of Ai's stunningly beautiful face with her eyes, her proud chin and soft lips…

"O-of course it's just a Class S phase. I've never had a close friend, and everything got mixed up. It's probably similar for you, so we just… we have to work on not getting carried away. Right?"

"R-right! Yes, I…" Rise tried to get ahold of herself. This was too silly; they barely knew each other, all things considered. Brand new friends, fresh out of the shrinkwrap. So what was the use in going so crazy about them misreading signals and sending the wrong ones? They could sort this out.

"Great! Glad we settled that." Ai cleared her throat. "And I'm sorry for trying to blame you for everything."

"Oh, it's okay, we were both a little… y-yeah." Rise chanced a nervous giggle. "Sorry I smacked you."

"Hey, it's not like I didn't deserve it. You were right. Do… you want to…?"

When she didn't finish the thought, Rise prompted, "What?"

"Aiya? We, um, could stop by Aiya for a couple of beef bowls. O-or something." She grimaced. "I already feel like we wasted enough time fighting because I'm an oversensitive asshole."

Rise smiled and moved close enough to put her arm around her. "You're fine. And look; we're fine, too. Nobody's dying!"

"Yeah," Ai laughed very quietly. Rise could swear her cheeks were rosier, but that could easily have been from all the crying.

"I would love to go with you to Aiya. Like, we're friends! We should totally start hanging out like normal friends and stuff. Like, you could even come with me if I'm meeting up with Yuki-chan or Naoto-kun sometime."

For whatever reason, that made Ai stop smiling. But she cleared her throat and shook her head hard. "No. It's fine."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to… offend, I ju-"

"Wait, wait. I meant… it's fine for you to ask me. I should hang out with other friends besides just you. This is normal. I was… kind of…"

Why did she look so embarrassed? "Go ahead."

"I was talking to myself. Stupid. Trying to reassure myself that normal people hang out in large groups, and it's not you trying to ditch me. I'm sorry."

"Awwww, no need to be sorry." She cuddled her closer, and felt Ai stiffen briefly before letting out a sigh. She could hear it, her ear was so close… "We'll figure this crap out, buddy!"

"Buddy," she snorted. "Don't go too crazy, Risette."

"And you're not a fan." They both laughed and they embraced — really, truly embraced this time, no holding back, no letting the awkwardness hold them back. And it was good. Rise still felt her heart beating a little faster, but that was definitely the kind of thing that could be ignored. And she would — until such time as it went away. Even if it didn't, she could take it; she was tougher than she looked.

"Okay, let's go before I get grosser," Ai half-laughed, half-hiccuped as she drew back. Rise could see she had been crying again — and was already trying to wipe the tears away before she realised what she was doing. "Wh-what?"

"Just… trying to help." She pulled back and got a handkerchief out of her bag instead, handing it to her. "Sorry. Here, this is probably better."

Nodding, she started dabbing at her eyes with one hand while the other fished out her compact. The sound of lamentation as she saw her mascara was loud, but she still just nodded and put the compact away. "Well, I did promise myself I'm going to be less vain. Let's go to Aiya."

"You got it! And it's on me!"

"Wha- no way, I will fight you for that check!"

"BRING IT!"

                                                    ~ o ~

Everything was fine. Rise had been a little worried about how the evening would turn out, given how anxious they both were after their odd brush with lesbianism. No such issues. They were still just getting to know each other, and what better way to do that than over a steaming bowl of rice and beef?

Ai was a pretty interesting girl. She really didn't seem the type to like daifuku — Rise liked them, too, the sticky red bean paste and rice dough was so much fun to chew. But they were so very traditional, and Ai was a thoroughly modern girl who revelled in trends. Between that, her love of Korean dramas and old city pop, retro games, and hatred of aromatherapy, it was interesting how much they had in common even though a few things they definitely didn't. She loved uncovering this more well-rounded picture of the girl she wanted in her life more and more.

The week wore on, and Rise tried to track Ai down whenever she could to help cement their growing bond. They even hung out with the others a few times, and though Kanji and Yosuke kept getting nervous when she would snap at them for making some off-colour comment, generally everything went well. And by much the same token, Rise hung out with Ai's friends — or what passed for them. Kou and Daisuke had seemingly decided to give her another chance as manager. Yu had told her before that she basically just sat in the corner doing her nails, but she was doing much better at actually engaging with the team, by all accounts.

Thursday was different. Ai was gone again, and didn't respond to texts. Eventually, she did get a message back in the evening…

EBI: Sorry I just needed a day

RISE: What's wrong? RISE: Anything I can do? ;-;

EBI: No I'm…

RISE: Ai-chan?

EBI: Listen it's really dumb but my mom called. EBI: And I just needed a little time to get out of my head

RISE: Oh you ditched again? RISE: You're going to get in trouble you know…

EBI: Listen I know you're going to lecture me but just save it EBI: Oh too late you sent yours before I could send mine

RISE: I'm sorry, I just don't want you to fail and get held back

EBI: Yeah I know. EBI: Thanks. :heart:

RISE: You could have told me and I'd ditch with you

EBI: What? No. I wouldn't want you to miss class because of me

RISE: Are you ditching tomorrow?

EBI: …probably

RISE: Where are we going?

EBI: Come on I told you that's not necessary. This is my damage and my weird thing and I have to face it EBI: And sometimes I need to be alone.

RISE: OKAYYYY okay

EBI: Fine. I'm probably going into Shinjuku this time

RISE: I'm really sorry for pushing RISE: Wait what? RISE: ALL THE WAY TO SHINJUKU?!

EBI: Hey I said I needed space and Okina isn't cutting it EBI: And I promise I'll be fine

RISE: ...when and where? Straight to Yasoinaba Station?

EBI: Rise… EBI: Alright I guess I can't stop you

RISE: Really?

EBI: Pain in the ass EBI: Yeah fine… 8AM don't be late or I'll leave without you.

RISE: YAAAAAAAAAAY~ RISE: We're gonna have the best time just you wait!

EBI: Uh huh EBI: Lol you're amazing.

RISE: Huh? Why?

EBI: Nevermind EBI: See you tomorrow.

RISE: Can't wait Ebi-chaaaaaaaaaaan~

EBI: UGH

And that was that. The pop star curled up in her bed with her big plush Jack Frost, grinning into the stuffing as she contemplated what the next day could bring.

                                                    ~ o ~

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"SHH!" Rise hissed at her as she strolled up to Ai on the train platform. "I'm incognito!"

"Uh huh. Can you take those big sunglasses off? It makes you look like a cartoon character."

Rise pouted as she pulled her shades off. At least most of her hair was still stuffed up into an oversized cap; no trademark pigtails to tip off Shinjuku residents that a famous idol had gone truant for the day. "Don't make fun of me. I'm not used to skipping."

"Weak. But I guess it still looks okay, it's just very… Parisian?"

"Whatever. You look cute, though."

"Oh, this?" Ai said airily, swishing out her long bohemian skirt around her heeled boots. Also seemingly suited to colder weather, but her top was a light blue babydoll tee; somehow she pulled it off, even though it was so much less ornate. Her bag was also a little simpler than usual. "I just rolled out of bed and was this fabulous."

"Right," she giggled, bumping her with her hip. The formerly-grumpy girl finally cracked a smile. "This is cute, but you usually have super pricey Prada or Anello or whatever."

"Hm? Yeah, I like this kind of bag. It is Anello — well, Legato Largo. It's more functional."

"Totally." The train pulled in just then, and Rise stepped forward to board once the doors opened, following Ai's lead. "Where are we off to?"

"Shinjuku."

"Well, I know that," she laughed. "But I mean, did you have anything in particular in mind? I mean, it's kind of… a rough neighbourhood, a little."

"Not if you stay out of Kabukicho. And we will," she reassured Rise with a raised hand. "Believe me, I'm even less interested in being jumped than you are."

"Why do you think I'm 'interested' in being jumped?!"

Ai snorted as she held onto a strap and the train took off. "I didn't say you were! Just… because I'm- nevermind, I just meant I don't have a death wish."

It didn't take them long to get to the bustling streets of Tokyo, and switch train lines to run up to Shinjuku. The same way Rise had been relieved to get to Okina, she was even more full of life now that they were really in a thriving metropolis again. So many sights and sounds! Grinning, she turned and grabbed Ai's hands, dragging her forward.

"H-hey, slow down!"

"You're the one that wanted to come here!" she giggled. "So why so slow?"

"Okay, okay, GOD." Taking a deep breath, she brushed down the front of her clothes needlessly, even though they had barely been rumpled, if at all. "Wherever you want. But I do want to stop in somewhere eventually."

"Where?" No response. So instead of dwelling, Rise just sang out, "Okaaay, then let's goooo!"

                                                    ~ o ~

The day was everything she had secretly been hoping for. They dipped in and out of lots of shops, buying one or two things but mostly browsing. Took advantage of the big city to grab foods that weren't readily available in a small town like Inaba. Stopped to speak to some of the more colourful inhabitants. Rise knew vaguely that a lot of gay men hung out there, but she didn't expect to see so many in flamboyant colours, openly acting so, so… feminine. It was both bizarre and exciting. Were there really this many people in the world who bucked societal norms so openly?

All along the way, Ai was becoming more and more comfortable with her. She still sniped and snarked but there was a playfulness to it that surpassed her previous efforts. They further eroded their anxieties about the accidental lip-lock and started to hold hands and pull each other over to see something instead of being horribly shy all the while. Progress was progress.

Finally, a little after they had enjoyed steaming bowls of udon for lunch, Ai dragged her down an alley unexpectedly. Rise asked if this was where she was finally going to get them "jumped", but Ai only laughed that off.

"No, but seriously, where are we going?"

"You'll see… okay… here."

"'Crossroads'? Okay, cool. Is it a karaoke bar?"

"Not… quite. But I promise we won't be long."

The interior was dimly lit, and everything seemed tinted red. There was a sort of warm atmosphere, combined with a raciness because of the low mood lighting. Rise was fascinated; she had been to a few more upscale places because of her work, and some of the venues she had performed at had bars inside, but this was the first standalone public house she had entered. Mostly because she was a couple of years too young to really be doing that…

"Hey, sugar. You lose your way?"

While Rise was still goggling at how deep the voice was that had come out of the kimono-clad woman behind the bar, Ai was smiling and turning fully in her direction, hands clasped so politely in front of her. "Not yet. But you did help me find it once."

The woman squinted for a moment, then gasped and pressed a hand to her chest. "Little Ebi-chan? Is that you?!"

Rise half-expected them to run together like in a movie and embrace, but they didn't; Ai just smiled wider and plopped herself down on one of the bar stools. "It's me, Ai. In the flesh."

"Whooo! I see that, wow. Well heck, you got no business in here; you're no performer."

"No, definitely not," she admitted with a laugh. "And you helped me see that, Escargot-san."

"PFFFFF," she scoffed very loudly, waving one of those meaty hands. Rise couldn't help thinking that this bar definitely didn't need a bouncer because the hostess herself was so strong-looking! "You'll call me Lala or you'll get outta here. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna serve you two a drop, since your little friend there doesn't look any older than you. Want a lime-and-tonic?"

"Sure. One for both of us."

"Oh! I…" Rise cleared her throat. "Can I have a cherry, if you don't mind?"

"Sweetie, for you? Two cherries." Rise giggled a little, pleased at the concession. While she made the drinks, she asked, "What brings you back to the neighbourhood? Haven't seen you for a couple of years."

"Oh, I heard from Mother again." Even while Lala was sighing, she passed over Ai's drink, and she stared down into its sparkling depths. "Had to get out of my head. I tried bumming around Okina yesterday, but it's just too…"

"It's the sticks, honey. Of course that's not gonna be enough of a distraction. You need flashing lights, dancing, drinking- well… not drinking," she said firmly, pointing at her. "And I'd better not hear you started trying to sneak booze at any of the other places around here, neither. Everybody knows everybody in this neighb-"

"Okay, okay, wow," Ai cackled before taking a sip. "Mm. I promise not to try to scam drinks from other bartenders."

Lana nodded firmly, satisfied for the time being. Then she turned to Rise. "What's your story, sugar? In the same club as your gal pal?"

"Huh? Oh, I… no, I haven't joined her club; they already have a manager."

For some reason, Ai looked worried about this. Why? They both knew for certain that she had no interest in the basketball club — even just being their manager like Ai was. But her answer seemed to satisfy. "Really? Well hell, that's quite a performance you're putting on, queen! All that contouring, and those are fabulous!"

She had gestured to her chest. While Rise was blushing and looking down, Ai cleared her throat and hastily said, "N-no, Lala, she… don't you know her? This is Risette! You've probably, um, probably seen her v-videos, or heard her songs?"

"Oh, it's Risette, is it?" Lala chuckled, waggling her fingers like she were casting a magic spell or sprinkling glitter. "I used to have a thing for Cher — don't even say it, I know, I know. Walking cliché. But I'm sure you can guess how well that went over; I gave that up eventually, settled on this." She fluffed her violet-hued hair… which shifted. A wig?

"No, I mean she's really Risette. Rise Kujikawa? Like, we're going to school together." Nothing. "The Quelorie Magic ads?"

Now Lala was blinking and looking at her again. "Hmm, really? The hair's not right." Hoping to help clear this up and move things along, Rise took her cap off, letting her pigtails fall. They were messier, but she was still more comfortable with them that way than with her hair down. "Ahhh, there it is! Well I'll be- you two ain't kidding, are ya? This would be a pretty weird prank if you were."

"Nope, it's me," Rise laughed awkwardly. Still a little thrown off by some of their word choices — what contouring? What performance, and why were her boobs being complimented?!

"And no, we're not in the same clubs. In fact, I don't think she knows much about my club at all."

The way those words were emphasised threw Rise off even more. Conversely, Lala's eyebrows shot up, and she looked between them for a moment… before gasping. "OH! Ohhhh, well then, that's fine. Just found a famous friend when you moved to the boonies!"

"Y-yeah," she finally sighed in relief. If Rise didn't know any better, she would swear her friend was sweating now; maybe that shine on her temples was just a trick of the light. "It's pretty wild; I mean, she grew up there, but I don't think anybody expected her to go back after she made it big."

"Nope," Rise said distantly.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I, um… I probably shouldn't tell your whole life story."

"It's fine! So, um, Lala, you have a wonderful bar here. Crazy good atmosphere!"

The bartender was still smiling at her and chuckling as one of the curtains rustled that led to the restrooms, Rise assumed. She barely glanced over. "Well, thank you much. Real lovely soul for an idol; they usually end up kinda bitter." Then she did turn to the side properly. "Hey, you'd better stop stinking up my back room, gaijin."

"Whaaaaat?" called out the lively redhead in the yellow dress. Not that her bobbed hair could possibly have been that vivid shade of crimson naturally — though she was an American, so it was entirely possible. Rise had a hard time telling Westerners apart, but there was no way someone that gaudy couldn't be from the States. "Come on, Lala-san! I have to get on my perfume, where else will I?"

Her Japanese was just quirky enough, both in terms of word usage and her bizarre accent, that the others laughed. "You're a riot, sweetie. But congrats, I guess you're part of Ai's club for real now."

"YES!" The woman saluted, other hand on her hip. Then she laughed. "What club is that? The Love Club?"

"Close enough. Erica, this is… Ai-chan?" Ai nodded. That was funny; Rise could have sworn they were old friends of some kind, and she forgot her name? "Ai, this is Erica… An… Andeshi…"

"Anderson," she provided in her normal accent. "Boy, it's weird using English again after all that time Nihongo-ing!"

"Uhhhh, right," Ai laughed, clearly having no idea what she was hearing.

"Hey! I'm Risette, and I want to be the star of your heart!"

That single line made the woman's huge brown eyes shoot even wider. "Whoooaaaa! Holy Schnikes, your English is really good, like you sound like a Yankee and shit!"

Stammering, she managed, "Sorry! I do not… understand…" Then she switched back to her native tongue and hissed, "I just learned that part for a show and like, a handful of other phrases; I'm really sorry."

"Ohhhh, it's okay," she laughed with a huge grin. Something about this woman instantly set Rise at ease; like she was almost as used to doing that as Rise herself. "Why did you learn that?"

"You missed it, honey," Lala laughed. "Risette here's a big idol. And yes, I have seen you strutting your stuff on the news; you're killing it, girl."

"Oh, thanks," she laughed, having already forgotten about that thread of conversation. "But yeah, that was one of the phrases I had to learn for my New York City concert — even though that's the only one I performed overseas. I also learned, 'Everybody having fun tonight?' and 'I love you all!' and a few more."

Erica laughed and applauded, as if she were performing a particularly impressive trick. "Amazing! You might know only a small English but you sound very good!" As the others chuckled again, she turned back to Ai. "So what did she mean? Lala-chan. You and me in the Love Club."

"O-oh, um…" She glanced at Rise, who arched her eyebrows at her. "Ugh. Come on, I'll tell you back here."

While Rise blinked, Ai led the redhead over to a booth in the corner. They were both roughly the same height, though Erica was taller by a hair. Figuring there wasn't much point in watching them whisper to each other, she turned back to smile at the host of the bar.

"Ai-chan didn't tell you why she brought you here, did she?"

"Nope," Rise offered lightly as she tugged one of the cherries out of her glass. "Just that she wanted me to see this place. Maybe you were some kind of tutor? Helped her pass some class? I don't know."

Lala laughed heartily as she wiped down the bar. "Close enough. You know, I'm honestly kind of relieved."

"Huh?"

"Back when I knew this little squirt, she didn't know which way was up. And I could tell she was heading for a fall; she lucked out with her parents, but she was going to throw herself so hard into her new life that she would forget who she was. But it looks like that straightened out eventually."

"Uh… huh," she said dubiously, turning to look at Ebihara again. Now those two were hugging tightly. She would hug some complete stranger and not her? Though the longer she looked…

Erica's expression was taut and pained. It looked like a couple of things they had talked about were less than fun.

"You've got a pretty special friend, Risette. Just go easy on her."

"I will, Escargot-san," she said right away, turning back so she could bow properly.

"Woweeee, everybody's so formal today," she chuckled as she turned to head into the back. But just then, footsteps approached, so she paused in her action to wait and see what happened.

"…and don't you be worried," Erica was saying, her arm around Ai's shoulders. "I wish I could stay and help but I have to go back to Chicago. And I promise, it will get better. Look at me, over thirty years, and I am very happy! And strong, like a wrestler! And beautiful!"

"And humble," Ai laughed, and the others laughed with her. Then she reached up to rest a hand on Erica's upper arm. "But seriously, I could never thank you enough. It's so… nice knowing I'm not alone. Even if I would have to move to the USA to be less alone in a literal sense."

"Oh, you're alone. I'm in a class all by myself — Boss always says this. He even loves my feet because I am so special." When the others exchanged curious glances, she cleared her throat and said, "No! I mean, he takes care of them, with nice shoes! Sneakers?"

"Ohhhhh," Rise said, laughing a little too much to try to hide her confusion and discomfort. She felt like Yukiko. "I was about to say, that seems a little over the line if he's your boss!"

"Yes! Though I am sure he would love them if I gave him a chance. Look!" She slammed her leg up on the bar, and Lala was already rolling her eyes in mild exasperation. "See? Beautiful!"

While Rise was politely examining the pedicure shown off by Erica's strappy sandals, she caught sight of Ai out of the corner of her eye — and noticed she was blushing hard. So either she was a candidate to love Erica's feet instead of this Boss character, or she was being powerfully reminded of something embarrassing. Rise tried to recall a hazy memory, some story about Yukiko and Chie… she only wished she could remember what it was.

                                                    To Be Continued…

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 48

The More Things Change

Summary: In which Invi is nostalgic and Ira has insomnia. Word Count: 1,428 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

Something about their yearly trips to the ocean made Invi restless. That is to say, she found it hard to actually sleep once they got there. It was something about the constant shifting of the waves, or perhaps her own excitement to do something other than paperwork all day. And unlike Ava -who was, through and through, an islander-, Invi had never spent her childhood at beaches or near the ocean. But there was just something about this beach, about this ocean, that gave Invi a deep sense of longing.

The summer place itself was nothing more than a few joined cabins on the boardwalk of a private beach. She and Ava had their own cabin that connected to the one Ira, Aced, and Gula were in. The kids were also separated by gender but still connected to the other. Normally, Invi would have seen it as a problem. But the bus trip took all day Friday. That alone was a cause for insomnia if it didn't make you even more tired. Now they had all arrived safely, with everyone's luggage properly unpacked for the month, Invi wanted nothing more than to relax and let the ocean breeze carry her away. Children and their emerging hormones be damned, Invi wanted time for herself.

So that was why -at three in the morning- Invi walked out to the beach in her knee length nightgown with little regard on who saw her.

Invi smiled as the waves kissed her bare toes. She had waited a whole year to feel this again, and it was oh so worth it. Slowly, and savoring every moment of it, Invi started to step further into the crashing waves. When the waves came a little above her ankles, she forced herself to stop; she would have loved to go further if she had been dressed for it. As it stood, she was not, so she only allowed the waves to lap around her ankles.

She let out another contented sigh before she looked down. The water was surprisingly clear at the moment- through the waves she could see something shining under the sand. Curious, Invi bent down and shifted through the sand. Making sure she had a firm grip on the object, she pulled it up and examined it closer. When she realized what it was, Invi laughed. Last year, Ava had insisted on wearing a charm bracelet Ephemer had given her for her birthday. It was a beautiful thing, made mostly from a sterling silver and an engraved clasp. There had not been a lot of charms added to the bracelet yet- but there was one that Ava proudly showed off, because it had been a reminder of her hometown. If Invi could recall correctly, Ava had called it a 'paopu fruit', the charm itself detailed a star shaped fruit set with five yellow diamonds with a single emerald as the stem. Ava didn't take the charm bracelet off during their entire visit to the beach, and -at some point no one could remember- her bracelet had come off while she was wading in the ocean.

It took the whole group the rest of the day to find the bracelet, and when they did, the paopu fruit charm was the only one missing. Ava was so crushed, she refused to wear the bracelet after that- even despite young Ephemer's claims that it was alright and they could have bought another charm for her. Now, a whole year later, Invi was holding that same paopu fruit charm as if it had been dropped yesterday. Giving another laugh, Invi held the charm tighter.

She planned on giving it back to Ava eventually, but for now, Invi still needed to reconnect with the ocean. Invi took in a deep inhale of sea air and smiled in a content, dreamy way that she never let show to anyone or anywhere before. This place? This was home.

“You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here in that.”

Invi gave a small jump as she turned around to see who had spoken. To her relief, it was only Ira. She quickly noticed that he was holding a blanket in his hands, and gave an amused snort.

“How nice of you to care.” she smirked. Regardless, she accepted the blanket from him and immediately draped it over her shoulders. Ira only gave a gruff nod before looking out over the ocean's horizon. Invi soon followed suit, allowing a silence between them, lulled by the sound of the waves.

“How long has it been?” Ira eventually spoke up.

“Hmm?” came the confused response.

Rephrasing himself, Ira clarified, “What year was it when the superintendent first brought us here?”

“Oh…!” Invi remarked. “Gosh, I can't remember. Let's see, Ava's 26 now, and that was back when the superintendent was the headmaster of Daybreak, before Ava adopted Ephemer… It must have been…? Oh wow, I really can't remember.”

“Neither can I.” Ira admitted, still staring out to sea. “And yet, it wasn't that long ago either.”

Invi found she didn't really have an answer to this, so she only gave an absent nod of her head. A few more moments of tranquility between them passed before she remembered something.

“Look what I found.” Invi then said to him, holding out the paopu charm.

“Well I'll be...” Ira marveled. “It can't be it, can it?”

“Has to. What would the odds be otherwise?”

“True.” came the small agreement. “Do you think she'll believe it?”

“No.” Invi disagreed with a shake of her head, putting the charm away. “But Ephemer will.”

“He's a lot like her.” Ira idly noted. His attention turned back to the shoreline, his expression becoming more vague. Invi raised her eyebrow at him.

“Where did that come from?” she inquired. “Does the sea make you become more vague?”

But he didn't answer her, his eyes still trained out over the horizon.

“Sometimes I feel as if the world changes too quickly.” he said, more to himself than to her. “And these kids, they grow up even quicker. But then I look at them, and then I realize, some things just do not change.”

Invi gave a small noise of confusion. “Ira, I don't follow.” she cautiously admitted. She then looked him over with an even more suspicious glance before asking, “Were you drinking?”

Was it awful to say that she was really relieved to see the dark look he gave her? He must have realized that she had only asked out of a genuine concern because his expression eventually softened.

“No.” he admitted. “I've just… I've been thinking a lot, since we've come back here. I guess.”

“A little bit of insomnia?” Invi teased.

“Yeah...” Ira sheepishly admitted as he scratched the back of his head. “Something like that.”

Invi gave Ira a gentle smile before finally turning her attention out to sea. “You might be on to something though,” she mused. “Ephemer and his friends are nearing the end of their childhoods. Things will be changing for them soon, whether they're fully prepared for it or not. But it is a small wonder- are they even aware of it? It didn't seem that way on the ride over. They all seemed so happy, so oblivious to the obvious...”

Ira gave a small nod. His eyes tracked back out to the sea as well. “I wonder if they will be that cheerful on the way back home.” he added. “You could see who likes who by the look in their eyes. It reminded me of Gula and Ava; how it took them so long to realize, and when they did...”

“We were not that much different.” Invi reminded him. “You, me, and Aced took off like rockets the moment we could. Aced isn't wrong to find it a small miracle that we still are comfortable around each other after. But I don't think what we did would work for them, of course.”

“Of course.” Ira agreed. He gave a small sigh in contemplative thought. Almost to himself he said, “It's like I said earlier; the more things change, the more they stay the same. I just hope those kids are able to stay together after this summer. It will be a big one for them, I'm sure.”

Invi gave a small nod before pulling out Ava's charm again. She let out a soft sigh in thought. “I hope they're ready.” she softly decided as she tightly clasped Ava's charm in her hand. “May their heart be their guiding key...”

[somethinglacking]

Shooting For Stars: Chapter 1

Summary: 

Hyuna Lee just started college, and while procrastinating decided to give a popular MMO called LOLOL a try. Here she will meet new friends, battle monsters, part takes in epic quests, and potentially find love!

Most of this will take place in LOLOL at the beginning.

This takes place a year/ year and a half after Seven's good end, and the secret endings. Yoosung x OC

**Update's once a week**

Smut in later chapters, of course ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Hyuna groaned as she sat staring at her computer. Her assignment was to draw something that inspires you, some sort of introductory assignment for the Professor to get to know her small class of Art Student Misfits. Nothing seemed to inspire her as of late, and no matter what she did manage to sketch out onto screen seemed to call her out: The Un-Inspired Art Student with no muse or motivation. Her fingers ran the length of her caramel brown locks, and her nails lightly scratched her scalp trying to ease her growing frustrations. Hazel glared at the taunting screen before her, daring it to keep on challenging her. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the artist sighed in defeat. Nothing was coming to her, and the lines she had managed to get down didn’t seem to be coming together as anything. Annoyed with herself and lack of a muse, she set her tablet to the side and opened her social media. Not much was going on, and she didn’t really have any friends anymore. Her sister posted a photo of her and her little class of second graders. They were cute and her sister looked happy. Smiling at the photo she offered it a thumbs up. 

When she was done scrolling her newsfeed she opened boogle. Bored she searched for fun things to do on the internet. The search results varied in interest, but an ad on the web page she was on showed a popular MMO and a free trial. Curious she clicked it and went to the homepage of the game. She read of the spec’s and nodded noting it would work on her pc. She clicked the download icon and downloaded it. 

Hazel eyes read every bit of detail the game had to offer her as it booted up the character creator. Feeling a little nervous, having never played an MMO before and unsure if she’d actually like being in contact with actual people. Logically she knew she could just play solo and ignore the events, or even delete her entire account after the free trial ran out and simply say she tried it. Biting a plump bottom lip she was greeted with page after several final updates. 

First, she selected her gender debating on being a boy, but ultimately settled for female solely because she knew their armor would be cuter the further she got into the game. She clicked through the races and settled on an elf. She smiled customizing the hairstyle and making the hair a lovely hue of blue. The eyes matched her avatar's hair. Hyuna chooses the least appalling beginner to wear praying she would be able to get something that wasn’t such an eyesore to wear easily. Overall the artist was pleased with the look of her new online persona and moved onto the next page.

Here she had to choose a username. Chewing on her lip she knew she go to Sapphire would be already taken in such a massive game, but gave it a go anyway. Slightly disappointed when it was already taken she contemplated what to use. She typed in several weird spelling of the name before Sapfyre worked. Making a surprised and pleased noise, she made haste to click the arrow button that would take her into the game. 

The screen loaded and she took her time going through the tutorial and getting the hang of the world, and command functions. Hyuna watched as her pretty avatar moved about doing little missions and basically busy work with prompt boxes explaining the gameplay.

 Soon enough she had completed her ‘training’ and was warped to a busy square full of other players. Hyuna blushed feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sheer number of avatars on the screen. She had picked one of the busier servers, but she hadn’t imagined it’d be this popular. Chewing her lip she ran around getting used to the shops and how the currency worked. Hazel eyes scanned the screen and took notice of where the world chat was, besides it was a little icon that lights up red with a little 1 beside it. Curious she clicked it and noticed it was the private messaging system. 

SupermanYoosung★: Hey you look lost ^^ SupermanYoosung★: You must be new! SupermanYoosung★: If you want help doing some quest or anything let me know. Hyuna tapped the pads of her fingers against her lips reading the message over and over again honestly wanting to take them up on their offer. Yet, she also felt rather shy about it too, it was strange. It wasn’t like it was a real interaction with someone, just two gamer bros going on a digital epic quest, so to speak. That being said, the artist wasn’t really a people person. Taking a moment to think about the other player's offer she opened the tab at the top that showed the servers rankings and who was online at the moment. Hazel went wide as she stared at the first couple name’s noticing the friendly strangers rank. They where rank number 2, basically LOLOL royalty. Hyuna let out a girlish giggle in disbelief. She clicked back onto her private messages and re-read the person’s name. It was for sure rank #2 SupermanYoosung. Before her brain could catch up to her fingers the typed with speed across her keyboard. 

Sapfyre: Oh wow! Sapfyre: I just check up on you, and it says your rank #2 ^^; Sapfyre: You must have better things to do than help a little noob like myself!

Before she knew it an impressive tank build avatar ran towards her. Hyuna bumped her forehead lightly with her fist watching as he positioned himself next to her Hobo of an Elf avatar. What a contrast that was to behold. However, if he did have time to waste with her, she almost wanted to beg him to help her get something more suitable for her avatar to wear. Something less beggar and painstakingly noob. 

SupermanYoosung★: Hahaha Yup! That’s me, I’m pretty awesome, huh? 

Hyuna couldn’t help but roll her eyes as a smile played at the edge of her mouth.

SupermanYoosung★: I’m also pretty free at the moment. I have no issue bussing you through some dungeons and helping you get some decent equipment.  SupermanYoosung★: Plus once you get passed level 20 you can join guilds! SupermanYoosung★: If you want, I can invite you to mine, haha!

This person seemed pretty nice and welcoming, Hyuna mused smiling to herself. She didn’t want to get his hopes up, nonetheless. Still unsure if she wanted to pay for the month to month subscription, or would even bother logging in again once she decided she had procrastinated enough for the evening and got back to her assignment. Best to play it coy. 

Sapfyre: Well alright then!  Sapfyre: Lolol can you add me to the party, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing  SupermanYoosung★: Oh! Sure thing!

The notification of a party invitation popped up. Hyuna clicked it and accepted. Soon there was an Icon over the two opposing in style avatars linking them together. 

Sapfyre: Wow they really go out and show you who you're with, huh? Sapfyre: We should get out of the public eye, haha… Someone like you hanging out with a LOLOL hobo can’t be good for the reputation! ^^ SupermanYoosung★: lol naw, it’s fine, I’m buying potions. I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna need them at the start ^^ SupermanYoosung★: I know just the Dungeon that shares exp! It’s pretty high rank, but I can handle the monsters myself. You can just sit back and enjoy the show! Cheer for me too! Sapfyre: I might be a noob, but I do freelance as a cheerleader on the side Sapfyre: It’s not much, but it’s honest work~ Sapfyre: Go! Yoosung! GO!  SupermanYoosung★: Haha! I didn’t expect you to actually cheer for me >_< SupermanYoosung★: Now I definitely have to help you get to at least level 20!

Hyuna’s character automatically followed the party leader’s avatar about the busy town square. There was an option to turn it off, but she didn’t feel like it. It was fun watching the two of them run around side by side as this Yoosung got the supplies she would most likely need to brave the dungeon. The artist clicked on her avatar and gasped in surprise. 

Sapfyre: There are little social action commands! Sapfyre: Ooooh~ 

She made her Elf do a little tribal type dance around Yoosung. She giggled as he made his brolly tank dance with her in the middle of the square. That was cute! 

SupermanYoosung★: Hahaha >_< SupermanYoosung★: They do! And some of the actions are special to race, gender, and class. SupermanYoosung★: Oh! You get to pick a class at level 10 SupermanYoosung★: Any ideas on a build you want to make? Sapfyre: Thank you for the dance Monsieur~ Sapfyre: I dunno what build to make??? Sapfyre: I guess I want something ranged so I can hang back. 

A box popped up on the screen declaring that SupermanYoosung would like to item share with her. Hyuna clicked yes and his inventory opened along with her own. She flushed when she saw all the cool things he was carrying and how she only held a level 2 stick from one of her tutorial missions at the beginning. She watched as Yoosung threw 99 potions, and 99 mana restore potions at her along with a level 2 wooden helm. She giggled equipping it to her Elf. 

Sapfyre: Now my look is finally complete. What a sexy helm! SupermanYoosung★: lololol, sooo sexy~ SupermanYoosung★: Back on the topic of builds SupermanYoosung★: Ever consider being a support healer? SupermanYoosung★: It’s sooo hard to find a decent one D:

Sapfyre: I dunno if I’d make a good support ^^; Sapfyre: If they are hard to find there must be a reason right?

SupermanYoosung★: They just don’t know how to build themselves, and/or try to fight when the tanks have the situation covered and die, SupermanYoosung★: I never built a healer before, but I do know a few things. I could help you if you want?

Sapfyre: Welllllllll Sapfyre: Sure why not~~! Sapfyre: Since you’re helping me out so much already, I don’t mind trying to be a healer for you.

SupermanYoosung★: Thank you! SupermanYoosung★: Rest of the guild will be so jealous when I show off my own personal little healer~ haha~

Sapfyre: >_< lololol I’m shy~

Hyuna bit her lip re-reading the messages. It almost felt like this guy or girl or whatever they are was flirting with her. They couldn’t possibly know she was a girl. She assumed many male players would make a female avatar, let's be honest, the higher rank armor leaves little to the imagination. She wrote off the interaction as this Yoosung being friendly and excited to help her create a healer support he seemed to need desperately. 

SupermanYoosung★: Haha that’s okay! SupermanYoosung★: Do you have a headset, it’s easier to chat that way while in dungeons.

The artist flushed again at the thought of letting a stranger hear her voice. She could see why it would be more convenient. Seeing as she had never played an online game, and preferred solo JRPG’s or Horror survival-

Sapfyre: I never required a headset before

SupermanYoosung★: It’s okay, it just means we are gonna crawl dungeons a bit slower since we’ll have to type to one another. 

Sapfyre: ^^; I’ll look into investing in one in the future. Sapfyre: I’m on a college student allowance, it’ll have to be a cheap one.

SupermanYoosung★: Haha, I’m a student too. I get what you mean. SupermanYoosung★: No shame in having an off-brand HS since you’re just starting SupermanYoosung★: I’m gonna teleport us to a level 30 dungeon. Keep your guard up

Sapfyre: Sure thing ^^

They were off, the screen turned into a load for a moment before both of them spawned in a dungeon. The artist smiled as she watched the other player navigate the surrounding area. She was careful to fall back when zombie looking monstered spawned and swarmed them. All level 30, which made sense, Yoosung had stated it was a high-rank dungeon. Turns out level grind was a bit of a grind, even for beginners. Luckily it was a shared exp dungeon and since there were only two of them in the party it got split in half. Slowly where minimal communication since she lacked a headset they crawled through the Dungeon. Yoosung was kind enough to allow her to loot the corpses and the treasure chests. 

They had even run into some other players who would say hello to Yoosung via the world chat. They had custom speech bubbles, and Hyuna was interested in obtaining some of her own. It was impressive how immersive this game was. You could build sperate skills like smithing, mining, fishing, cooking, act. It was super customizable. Yoosung had rattled off about how there was an event boss just recently and the cool stuff he got for himself. Hyuna smiled, sometimes even giggling to herself as she read Yoosung’s messages. 

Even though she had gotten some pretty decent armor and weapon’s they couldn’t be equipped before she was level 30. It was probably a power scale to disallow players to equip armor so far above themselves early. Yoosung assured her in a few sessions he would have her beefed up and ready to stand on her own in no time. Hyuna despite herself agreed to meet up tomorrow evening and found herself genuinely enjoying the game. Maybe she was just enjoying Yoosung’s company, who knew. 

Once they finished the dungeon, Yoosung warped them back into the town square and sent her a friend request. Hyuna didn’t even think twice as she accepted it. 

SupermanYoosung★: This way we will get notifications when either of us logs on, and it even shows where we are on the map.  SupermanYoosung★: I’m gonna be on a little while longer, you good?

Hyuna looked at the clock and gasped blinking, unbelieving what she was thinking. Had she really wasted three hours? Was it really 1 am?

Sapfyre: OMFG!!!! It’s 1 am!!! I have an assignment due tomorrow morning! SupermanYoosung★: It’s 1 am for me too, we must be pretty close. Lolol SupermanYoosung★: You should go get the project done SupermanYoosung★: Guess I’ll see you tomorrow~ ^^

Sapfyre: Ya tomorrow! I’ll be off! Sapfyre: Enjoy ruling the online virtual world!

With that Hyuna was quick to log off and sighed to herself. It had only meant to be an hour break, and somehow she got so caught up in it she was looking at either failing her first assignment or not sleeping. Looking at the clock she grabbed her a tablet and the pen and looked at whatever these lines she had drawn were suppose to be. Deciding to delete all the progress she had apparently made, she settled herself in for a long night of drawing her assignment for her 8 am class. 

[hwrdtropened]

Di Bawah Cemara dan Naungan Stasiun Kereta

 “Are some things better left unsaid?”

____________________

You said you are so tired of love,

You said you are so tired of love songs,

So do I, dear, so do I.

_____________________

Kamis, di naungan pohon itu. Aksara yang tak berseru.

When you mentioned your name I was struck. Trains of thoughts were running through my mind, about you, about what people had told me about you. About your name among whispering among people I knew, about your story, about yourself. I tried to recall your name from my memories.

When I met you two years ago, things were so much different between us, yet so many things were so unchanged. Two years ago, you were that quiet kid who liked to spend time alone. The Javanese accent that came out when you spoke was very palpable. I saw a strain of surprise inside your expression when you heard of my name too, but until this day, I still have to yet understand of what are your first impressions of me.

When I saw through your eyes, through your gaze, I felt like I was staring at a mirror. When I saw through you, I saw myself standing there. Now I understand the sayings that we tend to like person of similar upbringing to us and of an idealized version of ourselves.

Your tendency to spend time alone by yourself, thinking by yourself, and being so reserved. It was so you and it is still you. Sometimes it is adorable, sometimes I just hate it. But later you told me, when you love someone, you should love them as a whole.

When I was alone at the end of the day, I was thinking whether you really liked me or not. Thinking about what you are thinking of me. Thinking about you, about layer upon layer that rests behind your gaze when I met you.

When I first met you it was your new life and my new life.

Pada hari itu aku melepas semuanya.

_____________________

Sometimes, I saw you walking in the distance, speaking to your friends and acquaintances. Sometimes we met too, although it was very seldom if my memory serves me right. Every time we met, your facial expressions always vary. Sometimes, I saw you laughed, while your facial expressions were teeming with a tangible cheerfulness. Sometimes again, I saw your expressions as kind of cold, stern, and tired; unwilling to mingle with your surroundings and you only greeted me out of politeness.

The things that I loved the most about you, beside your dynamics and character, was your selfies and your photogenicity accompanying it. I’m not going to elaborate really deep on this one, but let’s say that in my phone gallery, you would see many photos of yourself. Like a lot, and no, you’re not going to ever discover it, because well, should I explain it further?

_____________________

I loved it when you introduced me to your favorite songs, and about one by one you explained it. I also always loved it when we deep talked, in the middle of night, or under the wind and light of evening sun, and essentially, every single time. I loved it when you hit me up randomly in the middle of night, asking me to accompany you eating, working, sleeping in your place, or even contemplating and escaping from your problems.

Both of us know that you are a person with two sides. The first side is your reserved side, your quiet side, and your side which produces deep contemplation and thoughts. The second side is your extroverted side, where you greeted every stranger with a smile, where you laughed like there is no tomorrow, where your confidence are as high as the sky, and where you are everyone’s favorite person and center of attention.

Your laughs are as erratic as your demeanor.

_____________________

We are billions of beautiful heart.

I wish I had known the precise reasons why those feelings are developed for you. Two years are not exactly a night ride, but the feelings persisted, always lurking behind me through my own up and downs.

I have met many kind of persons in my last two years. But none of them are quite like you, none of them ever does. Although the inherent part of human nature is that every single of us is unique and different, I have unconsciously developed an unexplainable affinity towards you.

I dare to bet, that you do not even realize that such affinity had even existed in the first place.

Deep down inside, I’m always scared of the day that you might accidentally discovered my true feelings for you. I’m not ready for it and nor will I ever ready for it.

Deeper down inside, I secretly hope and — God forbid — pray, that after all this time, you feel and think the same way about me. I secretly hope that every night, every time you are with yourself, you think about me in a similar manner in which I do. Sometimes our hope as are dangerous as our desperation. Hope and desperation are the two sides of the same coin. One simply cannot exist without the other side lurking behind it. On a rare occasion, a flipped coin will end up standing revealing its both two sides visible.

None of this are logical, I swear.

Before I developed this feelings for you, I had always been cautious of, ah, being too attached to you. When I met you for the first time, I know that there would be something a bit different regarding the way I would look at you.

The way you speak, the way you write your thoughts, the way you have a look at your surroundings. The way you laugh, your peculiar sense of humor, your taste in aesthetics and music, there is something so unique about it. There is something so flamboyant about it.

Do you remember when I told you that when I intentionally develops a certain feelings for people, the first thing that I liked would be the way they see the world? The first thing I liked would be their quality and trait?

_____________________

I know you’ve been through a lot. I may not have realized it early from the beginning, but when I got to know you better recently — which I am still confused of why it had happened — I’ve realized that even I had saw your traces of hardships from the day one I met you.

I described you to my best friend — who guessed it correct on his first trial to whom I have a crush on — as dynamic and volatile. I specifically used the last two words not without any particular reason.

I’ve seen you at your highest. I’ve seen you at your lowest. What’s a human being without their up and downs, without their imperfections which makes them perfect?

I really wish I understand you really well; that when I sat beside you when things are not going well for you, the first person that you spoke up to would be me. I really wish it had happened. I really wish it would happen. But aren’t trust should be earned, instead of given?

I am sorry for everything, for not being a good friend, and for not being a person who understands you the most. I am really sorry for failing to receive your unconditional trust.

You said that you could give affection and love to everyone, but you could only give trust to one person. I just wished that it was me.

____________________

Took you like a shot Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening Let a couple years water down how I’m feeling about you (Feeling about you)

I wanna hold you when I’m not supposed to You’re stuck in my head and I can’t get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you

I know I'd go back to you

I know I'd go back to you

_____________________

I’m sorry for not being able to control myself.

Have I told you that being emotionally invested to someone is a risky investment?

I’m really sorry for being a burden on your feelings and thoughts after reading this. I wish I was lying and making this up from the beginning. I really wish.

_____________________

Sometimes, when people fall in love with their best friend, or their acquaintances, or their life long friends, they know that the only thing that they should be wishing for is that the people that they are in love with are freed from being burdened by the realization that a certain someone is falling in love with them.

Some people’s love are destined to be unrequited because they pray in different place of worships, and because they celebrate and observe the different holy day. Some people’s love are ill-fated to be unrequited because they are distanced by thousand of miles of separation. Some people’s love are ill-fated to be unrequited because they are distanced by the line of life and death. Some people’s love are ill-fated to be unrequited because their significant other are of the same gender or and of the different age. Some people’s love are unreciprocated, regardless of how profound their love is for their significant other. Some people’s love are destined to be unreciprocated, because their significant other is simply incapable of feeling the same way about them.

None of this are logical, I swear.

Were any of this are logical, we wouldn’t have a memoir to the story of love in every single romance song and poem ever written.

Love is anything but logical. You could fall in love with people who hurt you the most. You could fall in love instantly with a person that you just met seconds ago, and you could even fall in love with a person that you are not supposed to have a romantic feelings with.

_____________________

We are problems that want to be solved . We are children that need to be loved.

I hear you like someone. Good for you.

Just… Don’t be like me. Been in love with a certain someone for two straight years, and probably going to continue having this feeling for another good two years or more. Being in love with a certain someone while letting them being blissfully unaware of it is… painful.

I’ve lost counting to how many nights I spent thinking about you and why I’m not good enough for you. I’ve lost counting to how many morning I woke up to thinking why you suddenly acted so different to me. I’ve lost counting to how many times I’ve been thinking why I still have not earned your trust and full attention yet.

Being in love with a certain someone while watching them falling in love with someone else but you is… painful. I’m not a stranger to that, but it still hurts anyway. Watching them searching for their heart’s desire while I’ve been here for years —while being infuriated with them — is… painful.

I wish it’s not this complicated. But due to yourself incapable of feeling the same way I feel about you, it simply just becomes different. There is an impassable line and wall between you and me. A simple confession that you should be entitled of is instead have to be hidden for good.

I know that I should just forget it all, and I should just move on with my life and let you move on with your life. But oh boy, I simply cannot do that. Haven’t we agreed that feelings and desire always resists simplicity?

None of this are logical, I swear.

_____________________

Psyche had been right. Cupid was a monster. Love was the most savage monster of all.

Sometimes being alone and in state of denial with myself is the best thing that I could do. I like to pretend that I am like everyone else; it’s simple and it works. But aren’t curiosity mixed with a sense of futile hope are an inherent part of human nature? Sometimes I do just wonder how would it feel when I don’t need to conceal my true self in front of everyone I know. But I do realize it too, that that is just a wishful thinking, and would it come into fruition, it would be anything but a vain contentment.

Escaping with your feelings — concealing it and trying to pretend that it does not exist — is difficult. Sometimes, running away and forgetting all of it seems like the most plausible option. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

— Jum’at, 23 Agustus 2019,

______________________

For the first time, Cupid’s gaze seemed sympathetic. ‘Oh, I wouldn’t say Love always makes you happy.’ His voice sounded smaller, much more human. ‘Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. But at least you’ve faced it now. That’s the only way to conquer me.’

______________________

[thesecondcircleofkel]

Gift

Aizawa x Reader (gender neutral) 

3.5K

Summary: Aizawa receives a gift that he simply cannot turn away. 

Warnings: none

To say that you were tired of the rain would be an understatement. The downpour had barely let up over the past few days, and if it kept going on like it was, you were going to have to swim your way back to U.A. It was already hard enough having to pack up the majority of your belongings in order to move to the campus, and the rain did absolutely nothing to alleviate your struggles. It also made things seem much grimmer than they already were, which should have been difficult everything considered. Between what had happened at the training camp and the Kamino Ward Incident, it certainly seemed like U.A. was currently experiencing the lowest point of its history.

It was a blessing that Bakugo had made it through everything relatively unscathed, but Ragdoll’s Quirk had been stolen, and while you weren’t privy to all of the details, you knew that All Might could no longer use his Quirk, either. Whether it was because of his physical condition or something else entirely, you didn’t know, but you were glad that he was able to stay on as a teacher even though he had to retire as a hero. The whole situation was still a mess, though, and you could only hope that Nezu’s dorm idea would help things to settle back down.

As it was right now, you and the rest of the teachers were having to move to the U.A. campus along with the students, in the hopes that having so many heroes close by would keep them even safer than they already were. You were sure that the principal had other reasons for keeping you all so close by, but that information hadn’t been made known to you, and you weren’t going to make things any harder on yourself by trying to figure everything out. You were just going to roll along with all of it and do your job as best you could.

The only reason that you had journeyed out into the torrential downpour this go around was because you needed a few extra things to make your new room on campus feel more welcoming. You had contemplated just waiting until the rain stopped to go out, but now that you had finally finished unpacking, you wanted to be completely done with setting up your room so you could focus on relaxing until classes started.

You had just crossed the street after leaving the store when a faint rustling caught your ears. Normally, you wouldn’t have paid much attention to random noises like that, but the faint mew that followed it definitely put you on alert, and you immediately started searching for the source of the cry. It didn’t take you long to track the noise down to an alleyway, where it seemed to be coming from underneath a dumpster.

With little regard for your clothing or dignity, you crawled onto your belly in order to look under the dumpster, and there you found a small kitten, soaked down to the bone and shivering. The poor thing was too tired to even think about resisting you as you reached under the metal receptacle and delicately grabbed it. You quickly stood up and put the kitten under your jacket, holding it against your stomach to give it as much warmth as possible as you ran back to U.A.

For once you were somewhat grateful for the rain, because nobody was around to stop or question you as you stormed through the campus gate and sprinted to your room. You immediately threw your shopping bags down and went to your bathroom, where you wrapped the kitten up in a towel. You held onto it until it finally stopped shivering, and then switched the damp towel out for a fresh one. The kitten (who you found out was a little lady when you switched the towels out) obviously appreciated what you were doing, if the purring was anything to go by. You started to rub her behind the ears, and that was enough to send her straight to sleep.

Your next dilemma was figuring out what to do with her. It wouldn’t kill you to keep her yourself, and you assumed that none of your colleagues would care if you had her, either. Vlad had been able to bring his dog with him, so why would it matter if you had a cat in your room? The thing was, you were pretty sure that you knew someone who would enjoy having her even more than you would. Aizawa’s love for felines wasn’t exactly a secret; you had lost count of the times that you’d caught him looking up pictures of cats on his phone during his down time, plus you’d seen him trying to feed strays on many occasions. The question was, did he already have a cat? And if not, why?

You could just go directly to the man and ask him all of that yourself, but you were afraid that it might be awkward. For whatever reason, he was always quiet around you, quieter than he normally was, at least. You weren’t aware that you had ever done anything to offend him, but maybe you were just being paranoid. You were a little hyperaware of everything he did on account of…well, you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t attracted to him.

It wasn’t just a physical attraction, either. There was just something about that overly serious attitude of his that got to you, and then when you added his strange habits on top of that (his sleeping bag being the prime example), your curiosity was certainly piqued. What really sealed the deal for you was the USJ incident. Just seeing how far he went to protect his students, how he kept fighting even through injury, sent your heart soaring and the admiration that you already had for him grew tenfold. So yeah, you were a little nervous around him, and that was only made worse by the fact that you had no clue if he even liked you. Hizashi assured you that he did, but you weren’t convinced.

Speaking of Hizashi, he’d probably have some of the answers that you needed. You quickly took out your phone and sent him a text.

Y/N: Yo Mic, can you pop over to my room for a minute?

MIC: But Y/N I juuuuuuuuuuust sat dooooooownnnn.

Y/N: Dear god, I can hear you whining over a text. Just get over here. I need to borrow your knowledge.

MIC: Weird, but alright.

There was a knock at your door shortly after that, and you opened it to let Hizashi stroll into your room.

“Now, Y/N, just what was so important that you-ooh! Kitten!”

Hizashi had immediately spotted the ball of fur that was now curled on top of your bed, still asleep even through his loud voice. Whatever he was going to say was put on the backburner as he went to sit on your bed, where he picked the kitten up and put it on his lap so he could have easier access to pet it.

“Is this why you had me come over?”

“Yep. I’m trying to figure out what to do with her.”

“Are you not keeping her?”

“If it comes down to it I will, but I was thinking of trying to give her to someone else, first.”

“Oh? Someone I know?���

Based on the devious look in his eyes, Hizashi knew exactly who you were talking about, but he was going to torture you and make you say it. The glare that you gave him was very unimpressed.

“Yes, Mic, I was thinking of giving her to Aizawa.”

“Well, well, how convenient of you, Y/N, wanting to give Shouta a gift, and it’s one of his favorite things in the world, too. One would almost think that you were trying to impress him.”

“Look, I have no qualms with strangling you, Hizashi. Be helpful for once.”

“I am always helpful, thank you very much. Just admit that I’m right and then we’ll move forward.”

“You’re not right! Not in those exact terms, at least. He just so happened to be the first person I thought of when I found her, for obvious reasons.”

“So, you’re not denying that you’re trying to impress him, is that what I’m hearing?”

“I don’t even know if he likes me, Hizashi! For all I know, he’s barely tolerating my presence as it is! Although, knowing him, he’s probably just indifferent towards me, but that’s not the point! Does he already have a cat or not?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’s…complicated?”

“How so?”

“They just don’t…like him.”

“What?”

“Cats just seem to have a natural tendency to hate him, Y/N.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope, they hiss at him on sight.”

“I don’t know what to make of that, Hizashi.”

“I mean, I don’t think he’s ever tried to get a kitten before, so maybe it’ll be different? Maybe she hasn’t grown into her anti-Eraserhead instincts yet.”

“So, it won’t be catastrophic if I offer her to him?”

“Probably not.”

“Probably not…that’s totally the answer I was hoping for.”

“You’re really putting too much thought into this, Y/N. Just offer him the cat, and if he doesn’t want her or she hates his guts, then you keep her.”

“I suppose you’re probably right. For once.”

“Don’t be mean. Besides, she’s obviously the perfect cat to have on campus. Look at her, still knocked out even through all of your shouting. Little thing must have nerves of steel.”

“She’ll definitely need those around here. Well, I guess I should go see who the little lady will be rooming with, huh?”

“Wait, I have an idea! Just give me one second!”

This whole living on campus situation was certainly going to have interesting results, considering that it was only the first day and Hizashi had already bolted out of your room like a bat out of hell. You were almost scared of what he had gone to get, but when he came back just as quickly as he had left, you saw that he had only went to get a strand of ribbon. Where he had gotten it from, you wouldn’t question.

“Presentation is everything, Y/N!”

“You know what? If you think you can safely tie a bow around that kitten, go for it. Entertain me, Hizashi.”

“Are you doubting my bow-tying skills, Y/N? You better watch and learn, because you are about to witness a master at work.”

You wouldn’t exactly describe him as a master, but he did manage tie a rather nice bow. He made sure that it was loose enough around her neck that the kitten could easily slip out of it whenever she wanted to, and then he put her back on the bed with a cheeky grin aimed your way.

“I stand corrected. Now, if you’ll be so kind as to excuse me, I have an appointment to go embarrass myself. Thanks for the help, Hizashi.”

“Any time, Y/N! I expect to be the first person invited to the wedding!”

“Feel free to leave now, Mic.”

“Fine, fine. You’ll thank me later, Y/N! I’m the best wingman this school has ever seen!”

U.A.’s greatest wingman promptly received a door slammed in front of his face. You could hear him laughing the entire time he walked away from your room, and you prayed that he would trip and fall on his face. You doubted that karma would be that kind to you, though.

After giving Mic ample time to make it back to his own quarters, you swallowed the lump that had taken up residence in your throat and started to march your way towards Aizawa’s room. You were at the halfway point before you realized that you had forgotten the cat. After a short trek back to your room to retrieve the still sleeping kitten, you finally stood in front of the ominous doorway of Aizawa’s room. Every fiber of your being was screaming at you to turn around, but you took a deep breath to steel your nerves and knocked before you could chicken out.

You waited…and waited…and then you started to contemplate all of your life decisions. It would be your luck that he didn’t answer the door. Did he not hear you? Should you knock again? But what if he was asleep? God forbid you wake him up from the slumber that he so desperately needed. He could have stepped out for a moment. You could always wait for a few more minutes to see if he came back. Wouldn’t that make you seem like a weirdo, though, just hovering outside of his room and staring at the door as if it had personally offended you somehow? What a tough decision to have to make…

“Something wrong, Y/N?”

The sound that came out of your mouth was beyond undignified. Obviously, you had been so lost in thought that didn’t hear Aizawa walk up behind you, and you really wished that you had been paying more attention. You were pretty sure that the noise you’d made was so awful that it was going to haunt his nightmares; it certainly would yours. At least he hadn’t seen the kitten yet.

“Well, your stealth skills certainly aren’t lacking.”

Why couldn’t he have just said something? It didn’t have to be anything to lighten the mood or make you feel better, but just something. The silence was killing you, and it was moments like these that made you wonder if he actually hated you. He was just…staring, and you were starting to feel like he could see right through you. Was there something on your face? Why was he just-

“Are you alright?”

He very pointedly nodded his head down, causing to you to finally realize that you were in fact still wearing your dirty and wet clothes. That explained why he was staring: he probably thought that you were either crazy or stupid. Fantastic. He was probably also wondering why you had one of your hands behind your back. Seeing how your day was going so far, he was probably waiting for you to pop a knife out on him or something. He must have been planning the best way to disarm you and take you down. You were probably looking way too far into this.

“I’m fine. Just peachy, really.”

You were not peachy. You were actually quite disappointed in yourself, plus your clothes were wet, and now that he had pointed that out to you, you realized just how cold you were because of it. You were not peachy, at all. You were already so done with all of your own bullshit.

“Anyways, I just…uh…fuck it. I found a kitten earlier, do you want it?”

You had never seen Aizawa’s eyes shoot open as fast as they did when you brandished that kitten at him. She was still asleep, head lolled to the side as your hand supported her body. He seemed mesmerized by the tiny ball of fluff, taking in every little detail about her, from her white paws and underbelly, to the light grey tabby pattern that covered the rest of her body, all of which was topped off by a red bow hanging loosely around her neck.

“The bow was Mic’s idea.”

For once, Aizawa looked like he wasn’t sure how to comprehend what was happening. He kept switching his gaze from you to the kitten in your hand, and it was making you anxious. Maybe you had been a little too forward with your offer. Or maybe he just needed a little push, given what Hizashi told you about his unique effect on cats earlier.

“Do you want to hold her?”

He looked at you like you had slapped him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Just give it a try. She’s a sweet little lady, so I’m sure she’ll love you.”

You really hoped she would, at least. You had waited a long time for an opportunity to come around to actually build some sort of relationship with Aizawa that went beyond ‘coworkers’. Obviously, talking to him was not your strong suit at this point, so the kitten was the best chance that you had. You could only imagine that your hopes would be completely shattered if the little lady decided to scratch his face off at first sight.

Before either of them could sense your own nerves regarding the situation, you quickly shoved the kitten towards Aizawa, forcing him to take her from you. He held her at a distance at first, like he was waiting for the inevitable bad reaction to start, but when she still didn’t stir from her sleep, he took the opportunity that he was given and held her closer as he started to pet her.

You both froze as the kitten finally started to wake up, but you let out a very audible sigh of relief as she only stared at Aizawa for a few seconds before she nuzzled her head against his hand and started to purr. Aizawa looked thrilled at her affection, at least, he looked as thrilled as someone of his countenance could. Honestly, you weren’t quite sure what to make of the Totoro-style grin that he was sporting, but you’d take it as a good sign.

“See? No anti-Eraserhead instincts in this little lady.”

“You really did talk to Mic about this.”

“He’s actually said that to your face before?”

“Multiple times.”

“How shameless. But, ignoring Mic for a minute, now that we know she won’t attack you on sight, do you want to keep her? It’s not like we live far from each other now, so if you ever need anything, I’m more than willing to help.”

“…There’s no logical reason for me not to keep her, so long as you don’t want her.”

“Who wouldn’t want this precious angel?”

You emphasized your statement by scratching the kitten behind her ear again. Aizawa didn’t flinch at your close proximity to him, so you took that as another good sign.

“But, I think she’ll make you just a little bit happier than she would me. Just a little, though. Now, since all that’s settled, I’ll leave you two alone to bond. Let me know if you need anything!”

You quickly walked around Aizawa with the intent of going back to your room before you had the opportunity to embarrass yourself in front of him again, but a hand on your forearm held you back.

“Wait, Y/N. I obviously need to go get a few things for her. You should come with me.”

To hell with Mic, he had just lost the title of greatest wingman at U.A., and it now belonged to a tiny little kitten. It wasn’t exactly a date, but you’d take the chance and run with it. He was still holding your arm, too, and the warmth radiating from his hand was enough to make you practically melt on the spot. It also reminded you of just how cold you were.

“Yeah, I’d love to. I should probably go change first, though.”

“That would be a smart decision. We’ll wait here for you.”

It took all of the willpower that you had not to skip back to your room, and even more of your effort was going to have to be put into wiping the giddy grin off your face before you went back to Aizawa.

Speaking of Aizawa, he was going through his own struggle to quit smiling. He was afraid that he had chased you off with his unintentional cold demeanor- Mic had told him that you thought he didn’t like you before- but there you were, in all of your cheerful glory, giving him a cat that actually seemed to like him. He wouldn’t let the opportunity go to waste; he had been struggling with his own emotions and the illogical reasoning that they brought with them, and that was why he had been acting so strangely around you. In actuality, he was quite fond of everything about you, from your dedication to your job and hero work to the small things, like the way that you greeted him every morning.

Now that the ice had been broken, he’d make sure that you knew exactly how he felt about you. He wouldn’t rush it though; he didn’t want to take a chance on scaring you away again. For now, he would take things slow, and that meant going to pick up pet supplies with you even though he already had just about everything he needed in his room from his previous attempts to befriend strays. It wasn’t the most logical thing to do, but he could live with that, so long as he was able to make progress towards a relationship with you. Maybe the two of you could bond over picking out a name for the kitten; you did find her after all, so it was only fair to let you help with that since you weren’t keeping her. At least it would be a good conversation starter.

[nancy-drew-is-bae]

Group 3B: HUGE Spoilers (Reveals Culprit, Easter Egg(s), and Possibly Cut Content. Read at your own risk)

How do you trigger the dialog where Nigel refers to Nancy as Detective Drew??? It seems like cut content kind of stuff, but multiple people have reported triggering it organically in game, however, they aren’t totally sure what triggered the dialog.

How do you trigger the freaking frog dream?? Or have I been bamboozled lol. I’ve been told it happens after you first, have the portraits nightmare and second, get the easter egg from the teeth in Jane’s room. I have done the things and slept REPEATEDLY. I put 10+ hrs into a playthrough trying to be thorough and also trigger the Nigel dialog (to no avail) AND STILL, no luck. I triggered the lady in black, scratching the door, the note with the tooth…all the things. Still no frog dream. Is this fake news or have I done something wrong? I haven’t tried googling it for a video of it because I wanted to trigger it and be surprised.

How does all the machinery and equipment for the “treasure hunt” still work perfectly? Are all the initiates tasked with routine maintenance or something?

What’s the official Penvellyn policy on twins when it comes to the initiates and lines of inheritance? I ask because twins clearly run in the Penvellyn family. The only twins to be firstborn were Garrett and Gillian. Garrett drowned at 19, so Gillian became the sole heir. We don’t know which twin was literally born first and Charles doesn’t explicitly say he changed the line of inheritance in his journal. He merely states that his heir can be a female or a male. So we don’t know how much, if anything, Garrett’s death changed. (Adding in, upon further reading, Charles seems to have been affected by the death of his son and used that as a trigger for contemplation on the rules of inheritance and was the one to actually set in place the official Penvellyn rules for inheritance. He is the one who said the gender of the heir was irrelevant to their “right to succession” so to speak. I believe he started the alternating generations as well, but that’s a little less explicit.) Regardless, Garrett and Gillian were not an initiate generation, so it’s not like Garrett had been receiving training for seven years and then died. That would be interesting to know if the initiate role passes to the next oldest if the firstborn dies extremely young. I would guess that it doesn’t. Otherwise it’s an excuse for siblings to go after the firstborn out of jealousy. But anyways, back on track. Albert (an initiate) had TWO separate sets of twins as siblings. Josephus and Robertus were actually only born one year later. Which does make you wonder, if an initiate generation has twins as the firstborn, does the first out of the womb become the initiate or do they work together as co-initiates? Or is it some third option? It’s interesting to think about since it seems very possible to me seeing as there’s 5 sets of twins just in the immediate family tree. Nevermind the kids all the various siblings had.

Why can’t Nancy snoop in Mrs. Drake’s room during the day?

Why isn’t there a secret door leading into the library from the secret passageway? You’re literally, RIGHT THERE. Why isn’t there a secret door? Just seems like a missed opportunity to me.

Where did Linda’s steak come from? It’s not on the same dishes as the food from The Boar’s Head Pub. Was it delivered or did Mrs. Drake go out and buy it? Did Linda kill a wild animal? If it was delivered, who called it in? What was Tommy’s reaction? Did Mrs. Drake know more than she let on about Linda’s “condition”?

Nancy Drew: Curse of Blackmoor Manor Thoughts/Review (a thread)

I have a feeling there will be updates to these lists, but here is the first category!

Group 1: No Spoilers (Minimal discussion of gameplay. Characters are discussed at surface level. No culprit mentions at all, duh.)

Where are the bathrooms? Or even just one honestly. I know the manor was built in the mid 14th century, but I find it very hard to believe that no one in the past 700+ years thought it reasonable to add indoor plumbing. Especially given the well that used to be full of water with a functioning sprayer nozzle.

As a follow up to that, where is Mrs. Drake getting water from to water all of those plants in the conservatory? She says the well dried up when Alan died (ten years prior to game start), so where has she been getting water from? Don't even try to tell me that this 78 year old woman is walking up and down 2 flights of stairs with a bucket of water (1 gallon of water weighs about 8 lbs, for reference). The conservatory contains between 75-100 plants (my best estimate) including TREES. Just think about how much exertion that would involve to carry that kind of water up and down stairs at 78 years of age. But lets just say, for the sake of argument, she is carrying the water down the stairs. Where would she even get it?? There are no sinks in this stupid (affectionate) house. She can’t use the kitchen – it went kablooey. Again I ask, WHERE ARE THE BATHROOMS?

Speaking of Mrs. Drake, keep in mind she’s 78. Is she seriously cleaning the whole manor by herself? The Penvellyns are basically nobility and Hugh is currently a diplomat. How do they not have house staff like a maid? No wonder Mrs. Drake is so anal about tracking mud on the floors. Honestly, I don’t blame her. But also, just hire a maid? They can afford to have high quality food ordered, and delivered mind you, for an indefinite period, but a maid is too much? Ridiculous. (I’m well aware of Mrs. Drake’s spiel about “self-reliance” and house staff being gossiping “ne’er do wells”, I just think it’s ridiculous and a cop out)

Why is Mrs. Drake only grey in 4 spots at 78 years old?

Is The Boar’s Head Pub delivering meals on fine china and silver platters? Or is Mrs. Drake taking meals from a Styrofoam to go box and plating it all fancy? Is the delivery person entering Nancy’s bedroom at random and without warning or is Mrs. Drake taking it in there? If Mrs. Drake is using the manor’s dishes, how in the world is she washing them? She can’t use the kitchen – it went kablooey. Again I ask, WHERE ARE THE BATHROOMS?

The library has 1-2 additional floors Nancy can’t access. Next to Nigel there is what appears to be a staircase on the secondary floor of the library, but only part of it is visible. The question remains, does this lead to a third floor of the library that isn’t otherwise visible at all, or is it the entrance to the second floor? There isn’t a way to reach the second floor from the main room of the library.

Where are Ethel and Nigel staying??? Mrs. Drake refers to them as also being house guests, but there are no additional bedrooms! Also, she says Jane is “staying with us,” which makes it sound like she is temporarily visiting, but like, she lives there? Her dad owns the place, why wouldn’t she live there lol.

Why does Nigel leave his laptop sitting out overnight and without password protection? Or for that matter turned on?? How does he have his laptop powered on 24/7 without being plugged in? Especially in 2003, good golly.

Why is it always daytime outside the window in Nancy’s room she stays in? The lighting is always identical in the conservatory as well and seems to indicate sunlight coming in through the glass roof.

Are we given a reason why Hugh and crew move back to the manor? They’ve been living in America for 10+ years and Jane was in public/private school. Linda was from America as well, so why exactly did Hugh uproot his entire family to go live with his elderly aunt he isn’t even close to?? Maybe I’m just not remembering the reason, but it seems strange to me.

Jane loves Brady Armstrong, but she doesn’t own a TV. I guess she watched the Heartthrob Channel in America, but still. It seems weird she doesn’t complain she can’t watch TV anymore.

Why doesn’t the manor have any sort of formal sitting room, piano room, living room, dining room, etc? If there was a door or two that we couldn’t enter (like they’re locked and Nancy says it’s off-limits) I could be much more forgiving. But as is, there’s nowhere a sitting room, bathrooms, additional guest rooms, laundry room, closets, etc. could be. For goodness sakes, Jane doesn’t even have a closet, dresser, shelves…ANYTHING for storage in her room. Like, where are all her clothes?? How are any of the characters getting clean or going to the bathroom? WHERE ARE THE BATHROOMS

How is Loulou 80+ years old when virtually no one seems to feed her besides Nancy? Jane has the fancy cake supplies, but what was Mrs. Drake feeding Loulou for the past 10 years?

Why and how has Mrs. Drake lived at Blackmoor by herself for the past decade? She’s elderly, this seems unwise.

How are the Penvellyns able to heat a massive greenhouse (essentially) in the middle of the UK such that they can keep palm trees alive for decades??

Nancy’s phone time is in military/24hr time, but she doesn’t have a way to “google” or ask anyone how to read military time. If you are a sheltered 10 year old in 2003, I’m not sure how the game expects you to be able to decipher the time…I guess if you looked at the clock in Nancy’s room you could figure it out, but still. She could have had an article on her phone about it.

Why doesn’t Nancy ever drink tea in this game?? She’s in the UK, that feels like a hate crime or something. Granted, even more concerning, Nancy never drinks anything during the entire game, despite eating numerous meals at Blackmoor.

Nancy having numbers on two separate phones with no overlap is not ideal. To put it lightly.

Some of the random spots where Nancy can use her phone feel somewhat passive aggressive (like in the library).

You can see slightly higher towards the ceilings before stepping through the doorways even though you should be more limited on how high you can see from outside the room. (This might make absolutely no sense and I apologize)

The East Hall is more like a closet than a hall.

Hugh and Linda decided to unpack their books and framed photos in their bedroom, but not uncover the furniture to maximize how much it feels like an estate sale.

The ceiling rafters are visible through the solid wood bedframe in Linda’s room. Multiple items within this one room are reflective or translucent that I feel like shouldn’t be and it truly feels like a fever dream.

Jane and Nancy’s rooms are extremely similar in size, windows, etc. and they’re also on the same wall of the hallway upstairs. Linda’s room is completely different and on the same wall (right next to) Mrs. Drake’s room. Does this mean Linda and Mrs. Drake have similar rooms too?

The way Nancy says “loop de loop” sounds like her mouth is full of toothpaste and she’s impersonating a washing machine rinse cycle.

The game contradicts itself about when Randulf the Red was alive and gifted the Penvellyn lands. Most sources cite the middle of the 14th century; however, Nancy’s web search says the 12th century and Nigel himself says the 15th century. According to the Penvellyn family tree in Jane’s room, Randulf died in 1401, but no birth year is listed. Is the game trying to insinuate he was vaguely immortal or was it simply a continuity error? I’m assuming the latter.