#back on my d20 bullshit to no one’s surprise

[chiakery]

When Aabria mentioned she asked for the elaborate decoration on the set instead of fighting maps I was curious if it meant we would get no battles at all, and I quickly realised that with all those interesting mechanics and players who are so talented in roleplay there's enough going on to be busy every episode and build the tension without fighting (not to mention the incredible duel scene that was so palpable despite going all Theatre of Mind). We're almost half through the series and I don't miss battle episodes at all.

But I've been also listening to the acofaf soundtrack on Spotify and some of the tracks poke at my brain, saying there may be a bigger fight/downfall of one of the characters somewhere down the road even in titles alone (e.g. "Hordes of evil" or "Respawn"), and it made realise one thing:

Noone in this party would be able to bring people back if they die.

If you look at the spells: only Andhera as a Paladin could cast Revivify, but he doesn't get a 3lvl spell slot until they're 9 level (reminder: the entire party is level 8, some multiclassed). Raise Dead can be cast by a bard but, since it's 5lvl spell, they don't get it until they are (you guessed it) 9 level. Reincarnate can be casted only by a druid, other such spells are of level 7 or higher so obviously they don't have access to it.

Meaning: unless there's some fey bullshit or helpful NPC, if somebody ends up dying (wouldn't be all that surprising in the d20 game), they are fucked and not coming back.

[jelloopy]

TAZ Grad Ep 27

The boys are in front of the Godscar chasm  (This is spooky right off the bat lets see where this goes)

FUCK Argo rolled a 1 and is being strongly affected by the chasm he grabs onto Fitz’ shoulder for balance (Maplekeen shippers come get yall juice.)

T h e m u s i c (I will lose my mind as soon as this album is out good lord)

Argo is seeing himself attacking his boys? (Holy shit where is this going?)

IT WAS A FUCKING DREAM THANK FUCKING GOD (This better not be one of those things like Duck had in Amnesty I’ll fight.)

Griffin being pissed that he rolled a nat 20 on perception in a fucking dream and declaring that he’s withholding that until a more opportune time.

Uh oh…. Where are Firbolg and Fitz?

awe they left him a note! It’s okay!

GRAY BETTER BACK OFF IM ALREADY PISSED IM NOT EVEN 6 MIN INTO THE EPISODE AND IM ALREADY DONE. THIS MOTHER FUCKER NEEDS TO DIE AND QUICK. s t o p h u r t i n g a r g o 2 0 2 0

”That’s just dad’s inner monologue” that’s… awe come on “sorry my son came in here and said that bullshit” “awe Henry come on man” “being a bad son is genetic it seems” (Pure gold I love this family)

Sabor saying he was “somewhere else for a second” (does not give me the best vibes ngl…. Sabor’s p sus)

Justin’s new podcast law around Sabor and Firbolg. (Tbh I was a big fan of the slow arduous talking scenes but I will live I suppose…)

Sabor…………………… why are you so sus rn. Ur just tired. Stop being cryptic p l e a s e.

”I have been giving this much thought” “hell yes.”

FESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE MUSIC CAME ON AND I BECAME INSTANTLY FERAL HOLY CRAP FESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (I have been waiting for their return omfg)

”Would you like to party with the fairy’s?” “I need some sort of survival guarantee that I’ll make it through the evening” (This is an extremely viable request)

“Snippers don’t be like that…” “It’s okay I’m flattered!” (I need subtitles for Snippers p l e a s e)

“But this Lil guy is my familiar. He’s not the source of my magical powers, as far as I know… that would be a pretty late season twist.” “DAMNIT GRIFFIN YOU FIGURED IT OUT! All magic in Nua flows through snippers”

FESTO AND GORDY HAVE PARTIED TOGETHER WHAT A DUO (I need fanart of them STAT)

damnit they haven’t partied with Chaos

OH SHIT they don’t know about Fitzroy’s connection with Chaos

oop this is…. Oop. “if your source of magic is external you should not have been able to access it within the crypt.”

 “I also have a habit of delighting people” “HM!”

He lovingly refers to them as his “Boys”

“that wasn’t Argo that was your dad” “CLINT?! THE POWERFUL WIZARD!?” (Clint is truly a multidimensional and plane hopping wizard. We stan)

“we need a name for this multiverse that Clint Travels through” “How about the Clinterous” “TRAVIS. Honestly Travis! Are you fucking kidding me?!” (I………… why Travis… why)

Thank god they all use the restroom before they leave

Argo was literally stabbing in his sleep….?

Firbolg’s first pair of shorts! ‘N he enjoys them. V v happy with this

This means that Gray is actively in Argo’s mind, twisting what he hears! That’s dogshit he needs to stop (s t o p h u r t i n g a r g o 2 0 2 0)

Firbolg has yet to tell them about his dad’s passing and Fitz’ respects that. Argo on the other hand goes ahead and pries in on it.

(Fits their characters tbh)

“Are we just not going to class anymore?” “It’s all Virtual” (I had to stop and laugh for a good minute bc of the delivery by Justin. It got me)

Hero is in front of the Chasm… bb are you ok...

Fitz’ whistling to get Hero’s attention… (Fitz… he’s not a Dog anymore bud…)

Hero has been working up the courage to explore the Chasms! (Pls take him with you)

“you were a dog for a long time you think that you’d be used to people cleaning up your mess” it gets a smile out of hero AND Firby starts to dance! (I need all of the Firby cosplayers to make a TikTok with this and I need all artists to draw this stat. I need the dopamine p l e a s e)

“He does this any time he makes a slam dunk of a joke we just have to let him finish”

God I love when they back up for a min and do some good ol table talk

”I’m talking as a human being Justin Mcelroy father of two.”

“If you guys win a demon war? It’s at least an A-” “what would it take to get the A+?” “You could bring me a fruit basket” (The absolute Corruption… lmao)

Niceee Hero is gonna go work with Althea this is gonna be great.

Yes griffin giving that perception check NO CLINT WITH THAT FUCKING NAT 1 (Clint needs new dice that are blessed please)

Fitz sees Argo take out his blade and sees a look in his eyes. Firby sees it too. (aaaaaand I was right it was one of those “Duck” scenarios ….. damnit)

Firby uses thorn whip around Argo’s wrist and he doesn’t fight it. ( :(  )

Fitz insists that he goes into Argo’s mind to see what’s going on and Argo agrees but as Fitz gets near him he puts up a fight… (This is getting quite concerning)

FIRBOLG CASTS HOLD PERSON. HOLY SHIT. BRO. (I did not know he could do that… damn alright…)

Clint your VA is so good I adore you so much. (I just need to tell him that he is doing an amazing job. Pulling at my heartstrings constantly)

Maplekeen shippers come get your angst (I don’t ship it myself but I cannot imagine what the tags are gonna look like after this bc damn…)

CLINT YOU NEED TO FUCKING GET RID OF THAT D20 DUDE

Gray is in Argo’s mindscape. Mother FUCKER.

Fitz casts Thunderwave at Gray on-site and a Lil to cocky like Gray puts up a hand to block it but underestimates Fitz and goes flying about 10ft back (This is… mmmmm yes I’m very comfortable with the energy we’ve created in the studio today)

“Stop fucking cheating!” (YO HE CURSED REALLY WELL!!!!!! He’s learning!)

YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT MOTHER FUCKER BE SURPRISED BY FITZ AND RUN AWAY YOU COWARD (God I hate this dude)

“Festo wouldn’t do anything to hurt me” *silence* (Sus)

The portal in the Chasm... ever-growing… Opalescent being with white eyes...

ORDER?!

I’m very intrigued. I enjoy how Fitz is annoyed instead of angry most of the time. It really brings into perspective that this is kinda a useless war that doesn’t need to happen. That also the Warforged from the last episode was onto something with the question of “why six months?).

[eveningcatcher]

Main six + courtiers playing D&D part 2

"And then," you changed the fog, showing a campfire with orcs and goblin's in front of it, barbequing an already dead man. The floor was separated from the tiles, and their characters were hiding behind some rocks and trees.

"We can beat them up? Finally! It was about time!"

"Before you start though," you said, "I suggest that you position yourselves however you want, and I also advise the fighters to take out their weapons."

After a while of rambling and shouting, all of them have positioned accordingly: Muriel was next to Asra, who was near a group of 4 goblins, Volta was right behind Vulgora and Lucio who went straight for the ogres by the campfire, while Portia teamed up with Nadia and Julian. As for Valdemar, Vlastomil and Valerius, they formed a small team together, with Valerius right in front of the group of orcs and goblins, protecting the two spellcasters.

Read the whole chapter here

"Shall we begin then?" you asked as you handed them all d20.

All of you rolled the dices, and once you've all finished, the turn's looked something like this:

Valerius, goblin 1, goblin 2, goblin 3, goblin 4, Julian, Muriel, orc 1, orc 2, Valdemar, Lucio, goblin 5, goblin 6, goblin 7, Vlastomil, Portia, orc 3, orc 4, orc 5, orc 6, Asra, Nadia, goblin 8, goblin 9, Volta, Vulgora.

"How am I the last one?!?"

"You rolled 1," you simply responded to Vulgora's complaints.

"You know what? Fuck it, I'll beat them all anyway."

"Alright," you ignored Vulgora's comments and asked Valerius, "What do you do?"

"Let's see..." he took a glance at everyone's position, then on everyone's turns, "Those four goblins will kill you two," he told Asra and Muriel, "So I will throw one of my javelins at the goblin 1."

"Let me just check quickly if you can do that," you counted the tiles and said, "Yeah, you can. Roll a d20."

"I'm near him, so I expend one of my bardic inspiration dice for the attack!" Julian said.

"Okay," he said and threw the d20. It rolled on 15.

"Just enough," you smiled happily as you threw him two six-sided dices, "Now roll these two for the damage."

Once again, he rolled the dices without much care, getting 5 on both of them.

"It seems like you get just enough of everything," you said, a bit surprised, " But you made the goblin fall on the ground, dead. Now, it's the other three's turn," you raised a d6, "I'll be fair since the two of you are right next to each other. If it rolls on an even number, one goblin will attack Asra, but if it rolls on the uneven number, one goblin will attack Muriel, alright?" once the two of them nodded in agreement, you rolled the dice three times, "Let's see...6...5 and a...1. So, Asra, you will take 1 hit while Muriel will take 2. Now, let's see... Muriel, what's your armour class?"

"16..." he said, sighing.

"Okay, and yours?" you asked Asra.

"Eleven," they took a deep breath and straightened their posture, trying to look bigger, "But it's the strong eleven AC."

"Doubt it..." Julian said.

"Alrighty then," you took two d20 dices and rolled them, "Five and nineteen... One goblin misses you, Muriel, but the other one hits you with a..." you took a small notebook in which you've written all of the monsters, "Let's see..." you flipped through the pages until you've found a goblin, "He hits you with a scimitar and deals," you threw a d6 dice which landed on two, "Two plus two is... four damage."

"Write you new health points here," Asra explained to Muriel.

"As for you, strong wizard," you picked up one d20 roll, and threw it, "Four. The goblin failed."

"What did I tell you? My armour class is unbreakable!" they grinned with pride.

"We'll see about that..."

"Now it's my turn," Julian said happily, "Sooo, I'm going to move that one scary orc away with one of my amazing spell - DISSONANT WHISPERS!!!"

"Was that long introduction really necessary, doctor 069?"

"Roll a d20, and if you succeed, you must come up with something scary to say," you said.

"Very well then," he rolled a d20, rolling on 15.

You looked down at the list of the monsters, "How lucky..."

"And now, my 3d6!" he exclaimed dramatically as he grabbed the three nearest 6-sided dices and rolled them as he added, "There is a huge moth on your back!"

"Like Valerius, you rolled it perfectly," you commented, with a grain of salt in your voice, "I expected you to struggle..." you scratched the orc's name and continued, "Well Muriel, what will you do?"

"Do I have to fight?" he frowned, "Why did we attack them in the first place... Couldn't we just go other way?"

"No, because the plot demands it."

"Hey, I have an idea!" Lucio commented, "How about we start doing the exact opposite things of what MC wants."

"Do that and I'll send an army of orcs at you."

"Who gives a fuck about orcs! I'll kill them all!"

"Maybe if you get the chance to take your turn."

"I don't have any spells for attacking..." Muriel started.

"Then why did you even take the spells in the first hand?" Vulgora asked sarcastically.

"...But I have a scimitar... So can I attack one of the goblins?"

"Sure, roll a d20."

"19..." you looked at the dice, "You sure did hit him! Now roll a d6"

"5, not too bad!" you wrote something near the goblin 2, "It's now bloodied. Now, it's the orc's turn to attack! Since the first one is dead-"

"You're welcome," Julian added.

"The other one will attack, and it has to choose between you, Portia and Nadia... Let's see, if I roll 1 or 4 it hits you, 2 or 5 it hits Portia and 3 or 6 hits Nadia," you rolled the dice, "Two," you commented, "Portia, what's your AC?"

"Sixteen!"

"Alrighty then, let's see... the Orc hits you with a greataxe and they," you rolled the dice, "Hit!"

"Dammit..."

"And they will deal... 8 slashing damage."

"Well that orc can go fuck themselves too!" she commented as she edited her health points.

"Come on, don't get angry, it's just a game," Julian smirked.

"Valdemar, what will you do?"

"Well, I suppose I should get rid of that orc, no?" they pointed at the orc on the left, closest to them.

"Sure, what are you going to do?"

"Attack with inflict wounds," they rolled the d20, which landed on 20.

"Oh my god Valdemar!" you stared at the dice.

"They never played it and they're already winning."

"Give me the ten-sided one," they ordered with a touch of joy in their voice.

"Now roll it 6 times."

"Well then, let's see... five... nine... three... four... five... ten."

"Honestly, just the first three times were enough," you checked orc 4, "Now Lucio, what will you do?"

"Attack that one," he pointed at the one who was right next to Volta, "With a rapier," he rolled a dice, landing on 14. Once he checked to see if he dealt damage, he took a d8 and rolled it on 6.

"Alright, the third orc is bloodied!"

"And now the three goblins are attacking!" you said as you looked at Valerius, Valdemar and Vlastomil, "If I roll 1 or 2, they hit Valerius, 3 or 4 Vlastomil and 5 or 6 Valdemar!" you rolled three d6 dices, not wanting to waste time.

"Why me?!?" Vlastomil asked.

"Because I rolled 3 and 4," you gestured at the dices, "See?"

"Your ACs?" you asked the two of them.

"Sixteen," Valerius said.

"AC is this, right?" Vlastomil asked Nadia, who nodded, "It says twelve... That's bad right?"

"Well, it depends on what I'll roll. So, they all hit with a scimitar," you grabbed the three nearest d20 dices, "Let's see if they'll hit you, Valerius," you rolled one dice, which rolled on twenty, "Consul," you took a glance on him, who knew this was not good for him, "Please don't kill me for this."

"Don't worry," he sighed, "Just get over with it."

"Alright, the goblin deals... eight slashing damage."

"That one is so dead on my turn," he muttered.

"And me?" Vlastomil asked, a bit worried.

"As for you praetor," you rolled two d20s as you glanced over at the papers, grinning to yourself, then checking at the dices, "Two and twelve. One misses, while the other one hits you just strong enough to deal," you rolled a d6, "Five slashing damage."

"See, it wasn't so bad," Valerius said as he sipped his wine, "Stop making a fuss over everything."

"So, it's your turn now."

"I use chaos bolt on them!" he threw the dice a bit too fiercely, hitting Asra's glass.

They leaned over the dice and said, "Fifteen."

"Yeah, you hit them, now let's see the damage," you gave him the three dices.

"Three and two fives, " he said.

"Alright, good job, I won't ask you which damage you dealt, it doesn't matter, you killed it."

"It's what it deserved!"

"My turn now!" Portia shouted, "Let me kill that orc that hit me!" she took the d20, "I'll use my feat sharpshooter on it!" she rolled the dice, "Nineteen... ugh I was so close!"

"Still, you hit him," you commented.

"I did?" she asked with delight in her eyes, "Sweet! Then I'm going to deal," she rolled the dice, "Eighteen damage! Take that!"

"It's dead."

"As it should be!"

"As for orc 5 and 6," you said, "They go for the three of you," you told Volta, Vulgora and Lucio.

"Bitches can try," Vulgora puffed their chest.

"Eek, oh no, that's bad, really bad, what will I do?"

"Nothing tiny Volta, you're just going to heal us while we kill them for you," Vulgora pat her back.

"One or two-Volta; three or four Vulgora; five or six Lucio," you said with excitement in your voice, ' They're close,' you thought as you rolled the dices, "Both of them hit you, Lucio!"

"Bullshit!" he looked at the dices, "You better heal me after this!"

"Oh I will, I will," she bit on the last potato in one of the plates.

"My AC is sixteen, is that good enough?" Lucio asked, a bit nervous.

You rolled the dice and frowned, "Yeah, the right one didn't do anything, as for the other one... he deals 12 damage!"

"But my health points are only 15!" he complained.

"At least be grateful that you lived!" you ignored his other complaints and turned to Asra, "So, what will you do now?"

"I'll get rid of that weak goblin with firebolt!" he said as he rolled natural one.

"Yeah, maybe on the next turn..." you grinned, "And you Nadia?"

"Since we've cleared all of our enemies," she started, "I'll go to the campfire and take out the orcs before they kill Lucio," she grinned.

"Sure, and who will you hit with what?"

"The one that hit Lucio-"

"No way, I'm going to kill them!"

"With my quarterstaff," she ignored his complaints and continued, "I can use my dexterity for that-"

"You can," you agreed.

"And I'll use my unarmed attack as a bonus action."

"Cool, now go on and try," you waited for her to roll the dice. She didn't bother to throw it too harshly, and it turns out it was a good decision.

"Eighteen," you muttered, "Yeah, you kicked him," you waited once more for her to roll a d6, "With nine damage. The orc is bloodied. And your unarmed strike should be... 6, right?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Well, the orc is dead."

"You're welcome Lucio," she grinned.

"Now goblin 8 and 9 will attack you!" you told Vulgora, Volta and Lucio, "Remember those numbers I told you! Let's see if you'll die now, Lucio!"

"I'm not going to be the first one to die!"

You have, once again, ignored his cries and rolled the dices. "Oh, both of them hit you, Vulgora!"

"Those two... I'll crush them!"

"They hit with a scimitar and," you rolled the dices, "If I remember correctly, your AC is 13, right?"

"Yes!" they proudly shouted as they saw that the dices showed 10 and 6, "Hah, what losers! They're dead!"

"Is it my turn now?" Volta asked.

"It is, what are you going to do?"

"Oh, I will heal the count!" she said proudly.

"Hurry!"

"Alright, alright," she winced, "I use cure wounds for that," she rolled Nadia's dice.

"You healed him for ten hp!" you exclaimed, "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," she blushed as she munched on a salad.

"And finally it's my turn!" Vulgora said, "I'll use my chad great axe to kill the remaining orc!" they rolled the dice, "Just enough!" they grinned as they rolled a d12, "Twelve, I rolled twelve!" they shouted.

"Twelve plus four..." you scratched the orc, "There are no more orcs! Valerius, what will you do?"

"I am a man of my word, therefore I shall go against that goblin! I'll throw a javelin," they said as they rolled the dice, to which he frowned, "Thirteen..."

"But with the dexterity bonus and proficiency, it's enough," you added, "Roll the d6,"

"Six..." they frowned once again.

"But, again, with the dexterity bonus, it's just enough. The goblin 6 is dead. Now, goblin 2, 3 and four will attack!" you rolled the dices, as all three of them landed on two, "Oh, sorry Asra."

"Don't worry," they smiled, "They won't be able to get through my unbreakable AC!" they joked, even though they seemed a bit nervous.

You rolled the d20 three times, "Let's see... nine, one and three... I might start to believe that you are right!"

"What did I tell you?" they sighed, relieved.

"It's my turn!" Julian said, "And I'm coming to the rescue for these two," his PC walked to Asra and Muriel, "I'll attack the hurt goblin with Vicious mockery!"

"Alright, you don't need a d20 on that, however, you have to insult them somehow," you laughed as you rolled the saving throw on it, "Your spell save is 16, right?"

"Yeah," he grinned.

"Alright, roll a d4," you said.

He grabbed the dice and threw it, dealing 3 damage.

"You should be able to kill it in the next turn, are you going to do it, Muriel?"

"Sure," he rolled the dice, "Is fourteen good enough?"

"Yeah, now roll that one," you gave him one of the dices.

"Just how many do you have," he muttered as he rolled a three.

"And it's dead, good job!"

"I'll kill that one," Valdemar said, "With chill touch."

"Alrighty, no need for a d20," you told them as you handed them a d8.

"This will take a while to clean," they commented as they looked at the table filled with dices and sheets, and rolled 5.

"It's now bloodied."

"I'll finish it off with my rapier!" he rolled the dice that landed on 12.

"Go on."

Lucio grabbed one of the d8 dices that were lying nearby and threw it, "Four, I killed it, didn't I?"

"Yup," you nodded, as you were scribbling something down, "What will you do Vlastomil?"

"Shoot them with my light crossbow," he said happily as he rolled the dice.

"Nine... sorry but it didn't work," you said as you rolled three d20s, "Maybe Portia will do better."

"Oh I will!" she said, "I'll use the sharpshooter feat and kick their asses!" she said as she rolled 13, "Oh... maybe sharpshooter wasn't a smart idea..."

"But if you add the proficiency and dexterity it's enough," Julian added.

"Ooh, nice," she smiled, "So, it's an instant kill?"

"Yeah, no need for you to roll the dice," you said as you rolled more dices, "Asra, will you do the deed?"

"I think I will," he chuckled as he took a glance at the spells, "With firebolt once again!"

"Thirteen," you took a quick glance at the dice they threw, then buried your head in some papers, "Good job, now roll the d10."

"Eight! All of them are dead!" they proudly said.

"Great, can we go get that dagger now?" Muriel said, a bit annoyed.

"Oh, but, you are at the Saint Milu's," you grinned as your plot twist unveiled, "Just not at the saint Milu's you thought you were at," you started to manipulate the fog as you talked in a low, raspy voice, "Hey there, look at what Milug found! A big tasty lizard!" a tall, heavily armoured orc said, "Milug can't wait to eat this one!" he raised the lizardfolk that struggled to get out of his grasp, "Love how it struggles!" he squeezed the lizardfolk's neck tighter, "Huh? Why is everyone sleeping...Wait, who are you?" he looked at the team, "What you do to Milug's friends?" his face got redder and redder, "You'll pay for hurting Milug's friend!!!"

"Alrighty," you straightened your posture as you took a glance at the enemies, "More of them appeared! And I've rolled their stats already, so the order should look something like this! Valerius, Milug, Julian, Muriel, Valdemar, wolf 1, orc 1, Lucio, Vlastomil, orc 2, orc 3, orc 4, orc 5, Portia, Asra, wolf 2, orc 6, Nadia, Volta, wolf 3, wolf 4, Vulgora. Notice that Milug is no ordinary orc! His attacks are much stronger and his health is higher! So beware!"

"I can't believe you did this to us!" Lucio exclaimed.

"Why are you surprised at this point?" Valerius asked, "Just try to count how many times they have trolled us in these..." he looked at the clock, "Four hours have passed already?!?"

"I told you that time flies quickly, didn't I?" you giggled, "So, what will you do?"

"I... guess I'll kill one of those wolves," he said, rolling a dice, "With a javelin."

"Alrighty," you looked at the dice, a bit taken aback, "Nineteen... Damn, not too bad, consul."

He rolled the d6 next, rolling it on 2, "So, only three damage?"

"Yeah," you said, "You should raise your dexterity on the fourth level. Now, Milug will attack!" you said as you changed your voice, "You're gonna pay!" Milug charged at Nadia with a great axe you rolled the dice, "Sixteen..."

"My AC is 17!" she said relieved.

"But you didn't calculate his bonuses!" you said with a smile forming on your lips.

"So he will attack dealing... 8 damage!"

"Valdemar, what will you do?" you turned to them.

"I'll use the spell from the scroll to attack Milug," they grinned, seeming to be excited about all of this just as much as you are.

"Go ahead, but that means you'll have to approach him..." you warned them.

"I don't care," he turned to Volta, "You'll follow right after."

"Why me, though?" she complained.

"Because you're the only healer," they grinned, "Plus you also have inflict wounds," they rolled the dice, "Is sixteen enough for this beast?"

"With all of the bonuses yes," you responded.

"Good," they said as they rolled 3 d10 dices, "Two, five and seven-plus my wisdom modifier?" they asked you.

"Yes," you commented, "So eighteen points less for poor Milug..."

"It's still not bloodied?" Lucio asked, surprised.

"Nope! And now wolf 1 and orc 1 will attack you Lucio~!"

"Why me again?!?"

"Because you are the closest! Now, let's see... none of them hit you though..."

"Haha!" he cheered proudly, "Now I shall kill that wolf with a rapier!" he rolled a two.

"Nope, Vlastomil?"

"I'll try to hit the wolf with a crossbow," he rolled 12.

"Yeah, you hit it."

"Good," he rolled seven.

"Just perfect," you smiled as you scratched that wolf, "But now there are four orcs... Two are near Portia, while the other two are near Vulgora and Volta."

"Eek," Volta shouted.

"Let's see what will happen to Portia first."

"Oh no, they won't!"

"We'll see," you said as you rolled the dices.

"See?" she pointed at the dices, "They didn't hit me!"

"Yeah, but I suggest you run away ASAP, you only have 2hp left," after you old Portia that, you turned to Vulgora and Volta, "As for the two of you, if I roll even number, it hits Volta, but if I roll uneven it hits Vulgora," you rolled the dices, "Six and four, sorry Volta."

"Oh please, please don't! My AC is only fifteen!"

"Fourteen and ten, how lucky," you commented, "So Portia, what are you going to do?"

"I'll run away from all of the enemies!" she stopped dramatically as she raised both her hands as if she were to shoot an arrow, "Then I'll hit Milug!"

"With sharpshooter?"

"No, because I assume the AC is too big," she rolled the dice, "Nineteen!"

"Yeah, you hit him," you said.

"Dealing eleven damage!" she said after she calculated the damage.

"Now, what will you do Asra?" you asked them as you wrote down Milug's new health.

"I'll attack the wolf!" they said, "With firebolt. Though only after I get to Portia..."

"Alright," you moved Asra's PC, "Roll the dice."

And so they did, rolling 10.

"With all of the bonuses, you hit it," you stared at the d10 they rolled, "And you dealt 10 damage," you wrote it down, "So close! But now the wolf and orc will attack you, Valerius! ... but they failed..." you looked at the dices with disappointment.

"I'll run away from Milug and try to kill wolf 3," Nadia said.

"Alright, roll it."

"Fourteen," she grinned as she rolled a d6 "So three, plus five, plus-"

"Yeah, it's dead," you stopped her and turned to Volta, "What will you do?"

"I told you already!" Valdemar looked at her.

"No way! Come here and heal me!" Portia said.

"I'll heal you," Valerius said, "Let her get to Valdemar."

"You can do that?" she asked.

"Once per long rest."

"Alright then..." her PC walked behind Valdemar's, "I cast inflict wounds!" she rolled seventeen, "I hit them, right?"

You nodded.

Once she saw your approval she rolled three d10s which landed on 10,7 and 5.

"All of that, plus your wisdom modifier..." you muttered to yourself, "Congratulations, Milug is bloodied!"

"Finally!" "Also," Vulgora said, "I'm activating rage!"

"Alright, so now wolf 4 will attack... you Vulgora!" you rolled the dice, "It succeeded-"

"That fucker!"

"Dealing 6 damage!"

"Fuck him!" they said, "I'm going to Milug and attacking with my greataxe!" they rolled the dice.

"Yeah, you hit him."

"So I dealt..." they started calculating, "Twelve damage?"

"Yes," you wrote down the new hp, "Congrats, you're getting the hang of it! Valerius, what will you do?"

"I'll go to Portia and attack Wolf 2 from a distance."

"Hey, what about healing me?" Portia asked, a bit angry, "You said you'll heal me!"

"Afterwards!" he responded, "Stop worrying, I'm in no better situation than you."

"I have 2hp while you have 4hp, so, I say you're doing better than me!"

"Whatever," he sighed, "I'm hitting wolf 2 with my javelin..." a grin formed on consul's face, "20... I suppose the animal is dead!"

"Yeah, don't bother with rolling the damage," you said, "Now it's Milug's turn! Since you're closest to him, he'll attack you, Valdemar, with his greataxe!" you rolled the dice, "But he failed..." you stared at the 2 on d20, disappointed.

"Well, then I shall attack orc 1!" Julian said, "With my amazing vicious mockery!"

"It failed a save," you sighed.

"And now, I shall deal," he rolled a d4, "Two...plus four-Sixx damage!" he stopped as he thought of an insult, "Your mom is so fat when she walked over the play in a theatre, I missed 2 acts!"

"Julian that joke is terrible," Portia giggled, "But whatever..."

"I'll go to the orc1 and attack with the scimitar," Muriel said, "I succeeded, right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He rolled the dice.

"Congrats Muriel!" you said, "The orc is dead!" you scratched the orc's name, "Valdemar, what shall you do?"

"I'll cast poison spray on our dear Milug," they grinned.

"Sure, you're not hitting anyone," you rolled the d20 for Milug's saving throw, "I'm sorry, but with that natural 20, you failed."

They just rolled their eyes, "Whatever," then they turned to others, "Volta, you stay here, while others go and kill the other orcs."

"Who are you to give out the demands?" Lucio asked, angrily.

"Why shouldn't I give orders? Do you know anyone better for that?" they mocked him.

"They do have a point though," Nadia explained, "If we kill all of the orcs, then we will be able to focus only on Milug."

"Ugh fine... I'm going to orc 2 and hitting it with my rapier," they rolled the dice. Once he's seen it's enough, he rolled the d8.

"Seven damage... the orc is bloodied."

"I'll move to Portia and Valerius, and shoot that orc with my crossbow!" Vlastomil said.

"For a sorcerer, you don't use that many spells," Valerius commented.

Vlastomil ignored the rude comment and rolled the dice, "Twenty!" he rolled a dice, "Seven damage!"

"You roll once more," you explained to him.

"Oh, how great!" he exclaimed as he rolled the dice again, "Three..." he stared at the dice, disappointed.

"You killed the orc though," you said, "Now the other three shall attack! Since none of you is near them, they will have to move back to Milug!"

"You gotta be kidding me..."

"Nope, so anyways - 1 and 2 for Valdemar; 3 and 4 for Volta; and 5 and 6 for Vulgora!" you rolled the dices: 5, 3 and 3.

"So, they attack Vulgora, but since they have rage it's pretty much useless..."

"Haha, there you go, fuckers!"

"So, Volta..." you rolled the dices, "Eight and fourteen... wow, you're so lucky!"

"Phew," she sighed in relief.

"Portia?" you asked.

"I'll attack that wolf with sharpshooter!" she exclaimed as she rolled the dice, "Natural twenty!!! Oh my gosh!!! Let's see... 10 from sharpshooter, plus 2 plus 6."

"It's dead, therefore, now you only have orcs. Asra?"

"I'll attack the orc 6 with firebolt!" they rolled twelve, "that, plus my wisdom is enough!" he rolled the dice, "So... with everything combined... nine damage?"

"Yeah, it's bloodied now, and ready to attack... it walks to Milug and decides to attack you, Volta!"

"Oh no..."

"...And it hits, dealing... nine damage!"

"I only have 1 hp left!" she panicked.

"Don't worry Volta," Nadia said, "I'm coming to them, attacking Milug with the quarterstaff," she rolled nineteen, "And I'll deal... five...plus five... plus my bonus attack- sixteen damage!"

"Volta, what will you do?" you asked her, "Milug is close to dying, but so are you."

"Uhh...I'll use cure wounds on myself!" she rolled the dice and grinned, "Six, I rolled six!"

"Good job, tiny one!" Vulgora grinned, "Now I shall kill Milug!" they rolled the d20 which landed on 18, "Is this enough?"

"Yup, go ahead."

"Fuck yeah!" they rolled a d12, landing on twelve, "Is Milug dead?"

"Yes."

"Let's finish orcs now," Valerius said, "I attack the hurt one with rapier... And with this eighteen I hit it, dealing... seven damage!"

"It's dead."

"Now I will attack orc 3 with vicious mockery!"

"Again?" you asked as you rolled the dice, "Sorry, but it succeeded."

"Dammit..." Julian sighed.

"I hit the orc with scimitar," Muriel said.

"You hit him," you said.

"Six damage..."

"And this time," Valdemar said, "I'll go in front of the orcs and cast poison spray!"

"Let's see if you'll succeed," you rolled three dices, "You hurt everyone except for the fifth one."

"So, I should deal...thirteen damage combined?"

"Yes, orc 3 is dead, while orc four is bloodied."

"I'll go for the orc 5," Lucio said, "With the rapier!"

"Yeah, you hit it."

"And I shall deal... Two only?!?"

"Two plus three... five damage," you concluded as you wrote something down.

"I'll walk to them and use poison spray too!"

"Sure Vlastomil... no, I'm the one who will roll dices."

"Alright..."

"Yeah, you hit them."

"Oh, how great!" he said as he rolled d12, "Ten damage!"

"You killed them both! Congratulations, you've won! Now, as for the experience... let's see... Overall, you've gotten 2160xp. You can all share it amongst each other, which means everyone will need 120xp to get to the next level, or you can ration it amongst each other so that some of you can advance."

"Let's just share it evenly," Nadia suggested, "We'll get more XP later on."

"I agree, let's not waste any more time. We should go and tell the whole village we killed Milug!" Portia said.

"But didn't that girl say that we need proof?" Muriel asked.

"Don't worry, I'll fix that in a second," Lucio said as he took out his rapier and cut off Milug's head, "This should be good enough."

"Can we take the enemy's weapons and sell them?" Valerius asked.

"Yeah, you can, but the price will be less than the original."

"Alright, let's take it all!"

"But who are we going to sell it to? That shopkeeper doesn't want to see us!"

"Ilya can go there. Maybe the guy will feel pity over him when he sees his face again."

"Oh come on, why do you have to make fun of my face?!?"

"So you will take their weapons... which means you will take over 10 great axes?"

"Now that you mention it... how are we going to do that?"

"Maybe, like, we will take turns on bringing the axes?"

"Or how about we take only the most preserved axes?" Valerius suggested, "There is no point in carrying those," he pointed at some of the axes.

"He has a point," Asra said, "Let's take those five axes, I'll use prestidigitation to clean the axes, as well as clean ourselves."

"Sure, you'll take 6 great axes with yourselves."

"Alright!" Portia said as she nudged Muriel, "Lead the way!"

"You've been walking, and walking and walking until you got to the edge of the village."

"Let's go sell the great axes!" Portia said, "Come on Julian, let's got together!"

"Alright, the two of you went inside while others are waiting for you," you changed the background into the inside of the shop, isolating other players, "Sorry, but I have to."

"Oh no, it's you rascals again! I'm calling the gu-"

"Wait! We're here to sell things, see?" Julian showed great axes.

"Where did you get those?" he asked.

"We killed Milug!"

"Like hell you did."

"But we did sir," Portia picked up one of the axes that were in better condition, "It even has his autograph," she showed him the handle with a bad carving on it.

"You, you killed him!" the shopkeeper shouted as he realised it, "I, I can't believe my eyes... I'll buy it for 700 gp!"

The siblings looked at each other, trying to think if the offer was worth it.

"I say we go for it," Portia said.

"Not so quickly," Julian shrugged, "I'll roll my persuasion check to see if I can raise the price for 760gp."

"...Sure," you said after a moment of silence, "The AC is 18 though."

He prayed quickly and rolled the dice. After a couple of moments, it stopped near you, landing on 13.

"Your bonus is?"

"Plus six."

You shrugged, a bit disappointed, but still, you kept your word," Alright, you succeeded. That greataxe is sold for 760 GPS. As for the other 5 great axes... You can sell each for 11gp."

"Fair enough," both of them said.

"Alrighty, you sold things. Do you want to buy anything?"

"Um.... ten arrows?"

"Sure young lady," the man said, "That will be... 2 GPS."

"Here ya go," she said as she wanted to write her money down, "Wait, how much money did I gain then?"

"Everyone gained seventy-four gp, with one gp left for all of you to share amongst yourselves."

"Or..." Portia said with a smirk, "Maybe we could share that goldpiece between the two of us!"

"Others shall never find out about this," Julian handshake Portia in agreement.

"Very well then, I'll keep my lips sealed too," you said.

"I don't need anything, so let's leave already."

You broke the walls that deafened others, who immediately asked, "So, how much did everyone gain?"

"Seventy-four GPS each."

"Good enough," Nadia said, "Now let's go find that girl and get the reward."

All of them walked through the town, getting glares from people as they looked at Milug's head.

"Oh mi gosh!" the girl ran to them, shouting, "You did it! And you came back alive. I can't believe my eyes!" she stared at Milug's head, "That must be him, right?" with her finger she trailed the old scar on Milug's jawline, "That must be the scar my mom gave him... I remember when she came back after the fight with him....all bloody... and the only thing she said before she died was, 'I only scratched his jaw.'" she put her hands away from the hand, staying quiet.

"Yeah, that's depressing and all of that shit," Vulgora started.

"Not really," Valdemar cut them off.

"But what about the reward?" Vulgora continued talking.

"I..." she was silent for a moment, taken back by the apathy those two showed, "Follow me." she dropped her head low, leading them all to her house.

"Volta is sorry, so sorry for what happened to you," Volta's PC hugged the little girl, "Here," she offered a few her food rations to the girl, "Food always makes me feel better."

"No wonder you eat so much," Valerius commented.

"Thank you," the little girl hugged Volta's PC before she took the small pastry Volta offered.

"You know you're going to die of starvation if you continue giving everyone your food, right?"

"Why are you so generous to the useless NPCs of all characters?"

"You give food in the game like it's nothing, but you would bite my arm off if I tried to take even a bit of food."

Volta just winced at everyone's comments, unsure of how to react.

"Don't worry Volta, just keep doing what you want to do," Nadia reassured the tiny procurator.

"Oh thank you, countess! You're always so kind to Volta!"

"Here we are," the girl opened the doors of a big house, "Come on in. Please don't break, nor steal anything."

All of them walked into the house one by one, some struggling to fit through the door. The girl led them through the hallway, turning back from time to time to check if they were stealing anything. At the end of the hallway, they turned left, to the single door. Before she knocked, the girl turned to them, saying, "Please behave," then she turned back to the door, knocking, "Dad, it's me, I brought the adventurers I told you about."

After a couple of moments, a loud, sharp, 'Come in' could be heard at the other side of the door. Once she heard that, the girl opened the door, leading them all into the room.

"So you did it," the man stood out of his chair, walking towards Lucio who held the head. He took it from his hand and examined it, "It really is Milug," the man smiled as he put the head on the table, "Words cannot express how grateful I am for your actions," he shook Lucio's hand.

"But money can," Julian added.

"But money can," the man repeated Julian's words with a smile, "You've done this village a favour, so here," he walked back to his table, picking up a tray with 11 pouches, "Here, take them. Each one of them should contain 150gp, along with," he took the coupons from the bottom of the tray, "These. Each one of these coupons can give you 50gp from our dear shopkeeper."

"Thank you," Asra said, "Do you know any place where we can spend the night?"

"Do not worry, my friend, I'll let you sleep here, but just for tonight."

"That's all we need, thank you," Nadia said.

"Do you know where Saint Milu's church is?" Portia asked them, "We wanted to go there."

"That church has been abandoned for as long as I remember," he said, "But if you wanted to go here, sure. It's east from the village, a half-day of walking after the bakery."

"Thank you, we shall head there tomorrow," Valerius said, "But now we should finish the long rest, no?"

"Yeah, he's right, let's sleep now."

"Fine," you shifted the surroundings, changing it into dark bedrooms that are separate from everyone. All of them could hear you, but not each other. "You sleep and recover fully, yay. Also Volta," you turned to her, making sure others can't hear you, "When you woke up, you found the note beside your bed: 'Thank you for confronting me today,' with a necklace attached to it."

"Oh, that's so kind of her," Volta said, with small tears forming in her eyes, "It's so nice that people in this game are nicer to Volta than people in real life!"

"The necklace requires an attunement though," you told her, "Just wear it while all of you travel to the church. That should be enough time."

"Alright, Volta will do as you say," she put the necklace on, hiding it beneath the layers of her PC's clothes.

"So anyway," you shifted the surroundings yet again, putting them all together, "You've healed completely."

"Let's go to the shop and buy something!" Portia said happily.

"Sure, you went to the shop," you showed the inside of the shop, once again, "What will you buy?"

"I'll buy ring mail," Volta said.

"Oh, yes, I have one of those just for you," the shopkeeper smiled, "That will be 40gp."

"I also want a scroll with cure wounds."

"So 90gp total, young lady."

"Alright," she handed the man the coupon with additional 40gp, "I have leather armour if anyone needs it," she said.

"Can I take that?" Asra asked, "I'll give you 7gp for it."

"Sure."

"Thanks!" Asra said, turning to the shopkeeper, "I'd like to take a healing potion."

"That will be 55gp, young man."

"How much is it for 20 javelins?" Valerius asked.

"Hm," the shopkeeper mumbled something to himself, then after a couple of moments thinking, finally responded, "3gp."

"I'll take that, along with a longsword and lance."

"That will be 35gp!"

"Can you give me the remaining 15gp from this coupon?" Valerius asked him.

"No, sorry sir, you'll have to spend it here."

"Guess I'll use it some other time."

"Give me studded leather armour," Valdemar demanded with a grin.

"I, I here," he handed them what they wanted.

"Pleasure doing business with you," they said, putting the coupon on the shopkeeper's table.

"I'll also take a potion of healing," Nadia said.

"I'll take inflict wounds spell scroll!" Vlastomil said as he handed the shopkeeper the coupon along with 5gp.

"Question, do you have Charlatan's die?"

"Yes my scarred friend," the shopkeeper told Julian, "That will be 75 gp!"

"Alright," he handed the man the coupon along with money, "Now I need to attune to this?" he asked you.

"Yup, but you should be able to do it while walking," you said with a smirk, "I'll put the rules aside for now."

"Something tells me we're going to be fucked up," Portia said with a nervous laugh.

"Yes," you responded with a grin as you looked into the papers, "You've come to Saint Milu's church!" you changed the surrounding to the front of an abandoned church, "What now?"

"We get in!" Vulgora shouted.

"Very well then," you changed the terrain to the party's familiar tiled floor in the church. The church was old, cold with some small ponds of water in it. But ahead of it all was a huge white dragon, "You'll have to defeat the dragon in order to get the dagger."

"I told you we're fucked!"

"Should we roll the initiative?" Nadia asked as she took the dice in her hand.

"Yup."

After all of them rolled and calculated their initiative, the order was, as shown:

Dragon, Nadia, Valerius, Vulgora, Portia, Asra, Julian, Volta, Lucio, Muriel, Valdemar and Vlastomil. As for the positions, they decided not to part yet, so they put the ones with the strongest AC, Valerius and Nadia in front, along with Vulgora, who just wanted to go and beat the life out of that dragon. Right behind them were Lucio, Julian, Muriel and Vlastomil. All the way behind were Asra, Volta, Valdemar and Portia.

"Well then, this dragon has 200hp."

"Two hundred?!?!?" Vlastomil asked, clearly shaking, "How in the world are we going to kill that?"

"There is eleven of you, this shouldn't be that much of a problem," you commented, "Plus everyone will advance to level three immediately after this fight."

"Seems like a good offer," Nadia said with a smile, "So, the dragon will attack?"

"Yes, using it's mighty claw to attack you, Nadia!" you rolled the dice, landing it on 4, "And it fucking fails!" you said a bit frustrated, "How did I succeed to fail... Whatever," you calmed down, "Nadia, what do you do?"

"I walk towards it and attack it with my quarterstaff!" she smiled as she rolled 14.

"Yeah, you hit it," you said, still a bit salty, "You hit it when it had 18 AC! Fucking eighteen, and I couldn't hit you..."

"So I have the same AC as the dragon," Valerius smirked.

"I hit it with my quarterstaff, dealing, five plus five damage," she smiled, "And I will attack it once again, dealing 6 damage!"

"Good job, countess, now I will walk near it and hit it with my longsword," Valerius said as he rolled 14.

"But before that, I activate rage!" Vulgora said with a grin.

"You hit him too," you said as you watched Valerius roll a 5 with a bit of envy, "So you dealt 8 damage. Vulgora?"

"I run to that son of a bitch and hit it with my handaxe!" they said as they rolled 15. After that successful roll, they rolled d12 which landed on 10.

"So ten plus your strength and rage bonus," you calculated for a moment, "Sixteen damage."

"Ugh, I can't use my sharpshooter," Portia said with a sad expression on her face, "Unless..." she thought for a moment, "If the AC is 18 and my," she continued mumbling, "So I can use the feat if I rolled higher than 17?"

"Yeah," you said after giving it a bit more thought, "But do you think you can do it?"

"I believe you can do it," Julian said with a smirk, "I give her one of my bardic inspiration dices!"

"Alright," she said with determination gleaming in her eyes, "I can do this!" she threw the dice a bit too strongly, making it land in Muriel's empty glass of lemonade.

He took a look inside of his glass and read, "Twenty."

"OH MY GOD!!!" Portia and you shouted, "I did it!!!" she smiled as she rolled two dices, with a comment, "From now on I'm always throwing the dices in your glass!"

"Six and five," you said, "Julian, how much from bardic inspiration?"

"Six," he said with a smirk, "I have charlatan's die, remember?"

"Oh, right, so overall, you Portia dealt... Thirty-one damage."

"Alright!" she smiled triumphally.

"I'll hit the dragon with my firebolt," they rolled the dice, landing it on 9, "Guess I didn't hit it."

"I'll use dissonant whispers on that dragon!"

"It has a saving throw of +6" you warned him.

"And I don't care!" he said as he watched you roll a natural 1.

"So... I deal double damage?" he asked you.

"..." you stared at your hands for a moment, not believing how they all seem to be killing the dragon even though they are all the first level, "Yeah. Roll 6d6."

"Soo... three, two, four, four, two, five, plus 4 because of my spellcasting ability... Twenty four damage!"

"Alright," you said, losing hope, "The creature tries to run away from you, but it has nowhere to go."

"I, I will use my spell bless on Vulgora, Valdemar and Nadia."

"Good job, small one!"

"And now, the moment you have all been waiting for!" Lucio exclaimed, dramatic as always.

"You'll finally leave?" Muriel asked.

"What? No!" he said, "I'm going to that dragon, attacking it with my rapier... Seventeen!" he exclaimed happily once he saw what he rolled.

"Yeah, you hit it, now, let's see how much damage you'll do."

He rolled the dice, dramatically as always, "I rolled a six!"

"So nine damage in total," you wrote down on the paper, "Congratulations, the dragon is bloodied."

"Can I use my cantrip shape water?" Muriel asked you as he pointed at one of the ponds in front of the dragon.

"I, uh," you looked at your list of cantrips, "Sure? But why would you do that?"

"I shape the water and put it in the dragon's nostrils," he responded simply.

"Wait, you what?!?" you looked at him in disbelief.

You know very well that he can do that after all the water was about three feet below the dragon's head, who was already tired from the fight. But if he did that, then he would kill the dragon. It does have resistance to cold damage, but it can't breathe underwater.

"I uh..." you started, "Well yes, you did it, but you didn't deal instant damage. Instead, the dragon will take a... let me think real quick... 2d4 damage as long as you keep using the cantrip. How about that?"

"Sounds good enough," he simply responded, hiding his joy. He didn't want to admit it, but he actually enjoyed the game.

"Good job man," Portia gave him a pat, "So how much damage will you deal?"

He rolled the two dices, "Five."

"Eight," you corrected him, "You need to include your wisdom modifier."

"Well then," Valdemar said with a grin, "I'll use chill touch on the dragon... eighteen," they chuckled, "How lucky of me, right MC?"

You stared at them for a moment, debating whether you should summon another dragon just because they are being a dick. In the end, you decided that it would be better if two ancient black dragons guarded the next artefact, which will hopefully be able to attack, "Yes, how lucky of you, quaestor," you responded through your teeth as you watched them roll 8 on the dice, then 2 on the Volta's d4, "Fourteen damage. Vlastomil?"

"I, I'll hit the nasty thing with my crossbow... I failed, didn't I?" he looked disappointed at the 16.

"No, you hit it," you said, a bit annoyed, "You need to add your proficiency and dexterity bonus to that."

"Oh, how delightful," he smiled, as he rolled 1 on d8, "So... three damage?"

"Yup."

"And now for the main attraction!" you said as you rolled the dice, "I rolled a natural 20! Sorry Valerius, but you'll have to-"

"I use my lucky feat," Nadia stopped you.

"You what?" you asked her, dumbfounded.

"I have a right to use my lucky feat three times a day to ask you to reroll the dice," she explained to you, "So do it," she said with an evil smirk.

"You, you can't do this..." you stared at her in disbelief, "I, I swear I won't go easy on you next time..." you said as you rerolled the dice, "But I rolled 16! Which is enough to-"

"Reroll it again," Nadia repeated with amusement in her voice.

You stared at her for a moment, thinking about how putting two ancient dragons next time is a great idea.

"Fine..." you rerolled the dice, "And I didn't do shit now. Happy?"

"Yes," she smiled, "So now I will attack the dragon, as usual," she said, rolling 18, "And hitting it, dealing..." she looked at the d8 with a bit of disappointment, "Only 6 damage. But then I will hit it with my unarmed strike, and I'll use a d4...dealing 10 more damage!"

"Valerius?" you asked.

"I hit it with my longsword," he rolled the dice, "But I fail," he sighed in disappointment.

"Now I will go for that dragon!" they said as they rolled 16, then 8, "Dealing 14 damage!"

"You can also add Volta's d4, remember?"

"Oh shit you're right!" they said as they rolled 1, "Whatever. Fifteen damage total."

"I'll use longbow!" Portia said proudly as she rolled the dice.

"I'm giving her the dice," Julian smirked.

"And I'm hitting it, dealing eleven damage, plus six, right Ilyushka?"

"Mhm," he said with joy in his eyes.

"Alright, the dragon is left on 17hp!"

"Also, I'm giving Asra my dice too," Julian said.

"I'm hitting it with firebolt this time!" Asra said as he rolled sixteen, "Told you! And now I will deal... thirteen damage!"

"I'm attacking it with vicious mockery!" Julian said proudly.

"Yeah, you failed."

"I can't do anything because of bless, right?" Volta asked.

"Yup," you said with joy.

"I'm hitting the dragon with a rapier!" Lucio said proudly.

"No, you're not."

"I'm still balancing the water in his nostrils," Muriel said as he rolled the dices, "I rolled seven, so... ten damage overall?"

"You did it..." you said, a bit disappointed as you showed the illusion of the dragon collapsing on the ground then slowly melting down, "You killed the dragon. It didn't even bruise you... So, everyone gains 909 XP from this, which means all of you levelled to 3rd level. Look at the features you gain on second and third level..."

After half an hour, everyone decided on all of the features they were going to get and they expected more of the story to come.

"So what loot do we get?"

"You get the dagger," you simply responded.

"Cool, let's try the dagger," Portia stared at the rusty old dagger, "Wait, this is the dagger?"

"Yes, why," you gave them a grin, "Is there a problem with it?"

"Obviously," Vulgora said, "Look at that! It's useless!"

"Wait, I use my religion stat to recall the lore about the dagger," Valerius said.

"Alright," you said, "DC is 15."

He rolled the dice in Nadia's direction, "Sixteen."

"So, the story goes like this. It was a rather lovely evening in the church of Saint Milu, however, Maila's dreams weren't like that. In that magical world, the Abaddon appeared, imbuing her with the holy knowledge, answering one of the most important questions- what happens when you die? The girl knew that keeping such knowledge would mean a catastrophe, so she used her to create this holy weapon, hiding the knowledge inside of it. To make sure that the weapon remained hidden, she put it in the Milu's statue. She thought that abandoning the knowledge was for the best, however, that only led to more miseries. From that point on, nuns kept gossiping between each other how they could hear Milu's statue talking to them, from small things such as reciting the prayers, to starting a conversation. Nuns were convinced that it was Milu talking to them, so, over time, they would talk to the statue, asking it for the advice. And thus, the innocent nuns learned the truths that weren't meant to be known. Over time, they started to spread the dagger's knowledge to common townsfolk. Such knowledge brought misery to the townspeople, making them more focused on stopping death, rather than enjoying life. A certain white dragon watched all of that and decided that it was upon him to end people's miseries. It went into the town, completely destroying it, killing everyone. Then it went into the church and ate all of the nuns, accidentally eating the statue with them. Upon consuming the statue, it also gained the holy knowledge and decided that it was not meant for small, weak humans, so it made a deal with the gods: The dragon will keep the dagger safe from human hands, and it shall live for as long as the dagger is in its possession. It was a great deal which benefited both parties, the dragon didn't have to watch more innocent people dying, while gods were sure that such knowledge won't be used against them. So every time some of the humans would take the dagger, the dragon would die, however, whenever gods returned the dagger, the dragon would come back to life."

"So, what you're saying is," Portia concluded, "That we killed a dragon who just wanted to protect all of us, and the only way to bring it back is to give the dagger back?"

"Yeah."

"Hm," Nadia thought for a moment, "So basically, the only thing that can kill the gods is not the dagger, but rather Abaddon's knowledge inside of it?"

"Mhm."

"So then, can we listen to the dagger's knowledge, then give it back to the dragon?"

"Yeah, but you need to roll 23 on insight."

"Who has the highest wisdom?" Julian asked.

"I believe that would be me," Valdemar grinned, "My wisdom modifier is +4."

"Yeah, it's Valdemar."

"I cast bless so that Valdemar can add a d4," Volta said.

"Okay, I'll allow it."

"I use my bardic inspiration on Valdemar!"

"Very well then," they grinned as they took the rusty dagger, shifting it closer to their ear, listening to it as they rolled the dice.

"Thirteen plus 3 from Volta and plus 6 from Julian... So close!" you said with a grin.

"What about my bonus on insight?" Valdemar asked.

"Oh, right..." you said, "Well then, congratulations, you got the first artefact!"

"Finally!" everyone sighed in relief.

"So, I'll return the dagger if that's alright," Julian said.

"Wait, don't do it!" Asra warned him, but too late. Julian had already put the dagger in the middle of the pool of the dragon's leftovers. As soon as the rusty metal made contact with the strange liquid, it started to shape itself back into its original form.

"Quick, Vulgora," Vlastomil said, "Go talk to the dragon!"

"Fine... Hey buddy," Vulgora's PC stared at the dragon who was ready to kill them, "Look, we're sorry for killing you."

"Doubt it," the dragon responded with spite.

"Well, in the beginning, we weren't, but once we've learned you did it all for the good of us, we felt sorry, so we decided to return the dagger."

"But then why did you come here, if not for the dagger?" the dragon leaned to Vulgora.

"Well, we came for a weapon to kill a god! But it turns out that all we needed was the knowledge inside the dagger-"

"That was the only thing you shouldn't have taken."

"But everything is fine, see?" Vulgora pointed at Valdemar's PC, who seemed to have a different kind of shine in his eyes, "They learned the knowledge and haven't gone insane!"

"I..." the dragon looked at everyone, "So you want to kill gods?" it chuckled, "Why?"

"So that everyone would be forced to become atheists," Vulgora exclaimed proudly.

The dragon gave a deep, loud laugh: "I haven't laughed like this in centuries! You aren't the brightest pests, but you sure are hard to kill. And that seems to be more important nowadays... Fine, I can't deal with the Gods' bullshit anymore-"

"Neither can we!"

"So, I will let you use this place as your home. Just don't disturb me."

"And that's it for today!" you exclaimed as you let the fog die out, "Next time, let's have a group of 6 come over so that it could be manageable."

[dimension20fanfiction]

Fantasy College

Written by AO3 Author outofthedormroom

Summary:

I love Dimension 20 so much. I wasn't done with the characters and wanted to write some fic. So this is the bad kids headed to college.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365514/chapters/40862489

Chapter 1: Is it lunch time yet?

Chapter Text

Adaine clicked the locks on her suitcase into place. She looked around the small apartment she’d called home for the past two years. Since moving out of Jawbones’ place after her 16th birthday she’d made the apartment above the deli her home. Adaine was excited to go to Aguefort University of Violence; the university was only a year old. At the start of her senior year Professor Aguefort announced that since he had died, came back to life, and took back control of the Adventuring Academy he was bored and wanted to be a dean of a fancy university. Since none would take him he started his own university. Only 6 people died during the first school year so it felt like a safe choice. As Adaine finished taking her last look around Zadye floated into the room.

“God dammit Zadye, just because it is my last day here doesn’t mean you can break the not announce yourself rule.” Adaine said annoyed.

“Now that you’re leaving I need to prep this place for one hell of a haunting.” Zadye said very pleased. “What is scarier this…” The room became icey cold and sets of eyes seemed to fill every shadow “or this?” Blood starts to drip down the wall and the smell of death takes over the room.

“Still not over being kicked out of the theatre department?”

“It was a bullshit call from Ms. Jones!” Zadye took a pause. “Hey Adaine, this shithole will be my main haunt but would it be cool with you if I haunted your dorm room from time to time?”

“If you can follow the announcing yourself rule then yes. If my roommate is terrible then you only need to follow that rule if I’m home.” Adaine offered. She was going to miss Zadye not his mellow drama goth kid stuff but the person, while ghost, under that front.

“I will scare that bitch to death if she doesn’t meet your cleaning standards.” and puff Zadye was vanished.

“Zayde, just because you don’t want to confront your feelings doesn’t mean you leave the conversation.” Adaine yelled and a bloody middle finger appeared on the door. She rolled her eyes and left the first place that ever felt like her home.

As she closed the door a text came in from Fig.

---

“Fig, you haven’t packed anything! We have to move you in tomorrow!” Sandra Lynn yelled from stairs to the attic.

“Ugh Mom get off my case!” Fig yelled continuing to play her bass behind a closed door.

“Now Fig, I know I’m not your parent and it’s not my place to tell you how to live your life but it is my job to help get you college ready. And as a guidance counselor I can tell you, you have to pack your stuff before moving into your dorm room.” Jawbone offered. Fig could tell that he was standing by her mom.

“I have until 8am. I’m working on a sick song called I’m in College for a Great Time.” Little did her mom know that she wasn’t technically in college. Arthur was just letting her move into a dorm in exchange for her playing at the on campus coffee shop.

“I’m calling your father!” Fig hit a cord.

“Which one?” Sandra-Lynn didn’t answer but Fig could hear her calling someone. The crystal ran when a voicemail picked up. It was muffled but Fig’s keen ears could make it out.

“Hello you have reached Principal Gilear Faeth, I can’t come to the phone right now but….Ragh stop it! I’m not the lunch lad anymore, no need for the BBQ sauce. BEEP” Gilear had had that voicemail for nearly a year and he couldn’t figure out how to change it.

“One down, one to go! Either way, I’m not starting for a while.” Fig called out. She knew she pushed her mom too far when one of her arrows hit the door lock breaking it. Her mom pushed the door open with Jawbone behind her.

“Fig, it is 6pm the day before you start at AUV. Get it together. You don’t want to forget anything. You need to get started, I don’t know what you need.” Sandra Lynn looked ready to start a mom rant.

“Ugh, I have a plan!” Fig put her bass down and picked up her crystal. She send Adaine a text asking her to cast unseen servant to pack her bags. “I just texted Adaine to help!” A moment later Fig’s items start sort, fold, and pack themselves.

“Well you’re not always going to have a wizard around to help.” Sandra Lynn said, rolling her eyes. After they left, Jawbone and Sandra Lynn shared a laugh.

---

“I am Fabian Seacaster, Son of Hallariel Seacaster, and I am here to get my room assignment.” Fabian declared at what looked to be the weakling incharge of check in.

“Does Seacaster start with a C or an S?” The man asked. Fabian narrowed his eyes.

“Are you mocking me?” He flipped over the table and lifted the man in the air. “I can tell you right now you do not want too…” The man vanished from his hands. “Where the hell?”

“I found it by your first name, you’re the only Fabian of your class. You are living in The Hall of Our Fathers’ floor 2. And lucky you; a single!” The man had blinked a few feet away.

“Fabian, try not to kill the RAs.” Hallariel said coming up from behind. “Now my baby needs your finest suite.”

“Well, we have dorms not suite. Fabian has been asided our average-ist single.” The RA said. “I am Swaine Smyth and I will be you RA. Now I’m not going to write you up for grabbing me cause I’m cool like that but consider this an informal warning.”

“While Swaine consider yourself warn!” Fabian whipped around, paused for a moment and turned back. “Now how do I get to my dorm?” Swaine gave him direction. Fabian and his mother headed off for the dorms followed by pirates carrying all of his things.

Once they reached room D20 they were surprised to see Gilear. Hallariel greet him with a kiss. Fabian considered killing for the millionth time.

“Fig’s fake father what are you doing here?” Fabian said as he opened the door.

“Oh...well Fig and Gorthalax are running late. I think they went to hell to get some decoration for her dorm. I thought I’d said hello to you, your mother, and our future child.” Gilear said touching his mother’s stomach.

“I cannot believe you will be the father to my future awesome brother. He will have so much to overcome being half you.”

“Hurtful...well I will go see if I can find Fig. I believe she is in room D6.” Gilear left. As he turn Fabian noticed a single bean on the backside of his pants.

---

“Thank you so much for helping me move in. My parents are at a church fundraising and won’t be coming till later.” Kristen said to Tracker as she hopped onto her freshly made bed.

“No problem,” Tracker said joining Kristen on the bed “I can’t believe you got a single.”

“Perks of knowing the dean and founding a new region that is extremely popular among young people so I can afford a little upgrade.” Kristen said looking at her pride flag with YES! Printed over it.

“Hey, makes it easier to come and visit.” Tracker said as she snuggled closer. “Plus it makes it nice that you won’t freak out any roommate trying to convert them.”

“YES! Doesn’t want me to convert per say just ask people to care more.” A knock at the door or room D4. “Here come my folks, let’s be extra gay.” Kristen said getting up to greet her parents Mac and Donna as well as her brothers Bricker, Buckey, and Cork.

“Kristen; you missed a great corn cake breakfast. We raised 400 gold pieces for Sole!” Donna said excitedly.

“Mom, we both know that Sole doesn’t need money. He runs the most profitably chain of self tanning places ever. It’s the Fantasy McDonalds of sun tanning. The best thing that ever happened to him was falling from the heavens.”

“Kristen, don’t be like that Sole needs to to make sure Helio’s beer pong x-sports league gets off the ground...I see she is here.” Mac said looking at Tracker.

“Yes Dad, my girlfriend of 3 years is here to help me move in since you were raising money for beer pong sports.” Her brothers had gathered around Tracker.

“Tracker! Do the trick for us!” Cork begged. “Please!” Added Buckey.

“Okay but you guys need to make me mad.” Tracker said. The three boys started make funny faces. In response, Tracker turned her face into that of her wolf form. “Howl, howl, howl” chanted the boys. Tracker started making wolf noises to entertain them.

“I don’t love the boys playing with people like...while you know.” Her dad trailed off carefully watching Tracker.

“Gay people? Like me? I don’t know why I invited you. We can either go and have a nice meal at the family move in lunch or you can leave and keep being a homophobe.”

“Don’t call us that, we love all people but we don’t trust all people” Her mom shot back.

“Homophobes it is; hey guys” Kristen turns to her brothers who were still being entertained by Tracker. “Because mom and dad are bigots you have to leave and stop playing with Tracker.”

“Mom and Dad being bigots ruin everything!” Bickery declared as Kristen family left.

---

Riz hung up his PI license on the wall of room D8. It was truly the most beautiful thing he’d ever see.

“Ok Riz, you are unpacked. Sorry I can’t stay long but my case is taking up so much time. Here is a Baston Market gift card in case you get hungry. Gorthalax and Fig are stuck in hellish traffic but they should be here by lunch and he can help you with anything. Is there anything else I can do before I had back to HQ.” Sklonda asked.

“I get it mom. In four years I will have the same problem.” Riz said. “Plus I can text the other bad kids and see if they are free to do things on the green and other such college student fun.”

“I’m so proud of you sweetie and I know your dad would be too.”

“Thanks mom.”

---

Gorgug drove the car as his parents cried in the back seat.

“Gorgug, buddy we are so so gd proud of you! It seems like yesterday you died for the first time and now you are starting college. Before you know it Wilma” his dad started crying harder. “Wilma we will be grandparents.”

“Now Gorgug, while we are sad you are leaving the tree we are mainly proud of you for going to college and being an all around great kid.” Wilma said choking back tears.

“I know, you’ve been proudly crying all day. We missed check in.”

“Oh gosh darn it did we keep you from having an important college experience.” Digby added. His parents cried harder. Gorgug stepped on the gas. They were going to get to campus just in time for the move in family lunch.

[isolated-loser]

Log 0019, 4:53am, 23/6/2019

So things…

This week only one guy showed up to DND, which kinda sucked… Though because he came and no one else did, I gave him a ridiculously powerful magic weapon. It dose a D12 of slashing damage, plus 4 fire damage, and every filth hit he lands, he rolls a D20 and if it above a 17, he can roll 2 D10 extra Fire damage that effects a 10 foot Sphere. Note his Pc is a rip off of Donkey Xote, so… Evil I may be.

Presh’s animal companion isn’t an issue any more; she decided to move to Queen’s campaign, a great thing honestly. I’m really, really, tired of her, to be frank. She’s fucking annoying. I don’t know how to deal with her… Growl, hiss…

But scents none of my table showed up, and the two new people would be going to Queen’s table anyway me and my one player just joined in Queen’s new campaign. I was fun, I played a half elf wizard who was frankly sleazy as fuck.

Idk. You know Shaggy, he showed up at the nerd shop Thursday at DnD. I don’t really know how to feel about it… I mean at the time, I was happy to see him, though surprised.  He was like nice as always. I was friendly back toward him. I hope I didn’t come off too friendly. Like after having some time to think about it, I don’t think like that he’s back… Like. I gave him my email and he never emailed me. So, I don’t know…

He asked about what happen to the Ralffy, the PC I played with him a few months back… and I told him the campaign just kinda ended out of nowhere, and I didn’t really thick about what my Pc did after. Then he like joked that our PCs probably went off and continued their romance. PBNJ butted in saying that all our PCs made a cameo in the half of the campaign that still running, and said that they were all tired of this shit and were going home. I said that’s not something Ralffy could do cuss the blood cult he came from diapered. Then the conversation kind peddled out… Low key happy, PBNJ butted in to help defuse any of what was going on there…

It was Surreal as hell seeing him again. And somehow got it where he’s coming to Mondays Dnd… I’m not really sure if I want that. At the time I did, but uhhhhhhh. I don’t know.

Presh’s going to run Monday, to take some of the strain off me. I told her I wanted shaggy at my table, cuss I haven’t seen him in mouths. And she was all like no your table is full already; I want all the new people. I tried to persuade her lightly, to let me have him at my table, not to my prevail. Then later in the night I messaged her on discord, about how I haven’t seen him scents December, and that he was going to be at my table, unless he didn’t want to be. Then she was all like, I was just joking with you, Insert more defensive shit, we cool. I didn’t really want to deal with this shit anymore, so I was like yeah why wouldn’t we be, the changed the subject.

I don’t like this high school bullshit, and that’s pretty much what she is. I don’t want to play this game. I got to skip that shit I’m not having some bitch drag me in to it.

With Shaggy, I’m just going to let him pick what table he what to be at.

Ok, now on to something else.

Nymph is going to be at DnD this week!! I’m really excited to see her. I haven’t really missed her, but it’s going to be great to have her back, even if it’s just for two weeks.

In lash’s campaign, we did a lot of combat a got our collective asses beat. We fought some rock giants, which nearly killed us, like half the party went down. It was awesome. Then after a long rest we continued done to the slavers camp and me and a the wizard stayed up a vantage point to ran down spells. It was crazy, I got to use my battle lute to cast Hunger of Hader, in the middle of the battle fielded. I mean it was just, ahhhhhhhhhh. We still need to fight the bladesinger, who down half the party all ready!!! And three of our player can’t show up this week. We’re so fucked. The tension is killing me, I still have all my first level spell slots. But most of my spells are useless in combat, I’v got healing word but that’s it. And I only have 17 hit points, and know real ranged weapons, and vicious mockery hasn’t really worked on him. Like, I could try to stab him but his AC is high as hell. And he’s really good with a blade. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, AAhhhhhhhhh,ahhhhhh. I don’t know how we’re going to deal with this son of a bitch. There might be a TPK.

So, I got an email back from the rabbit rescue, and I think I’ll be volunteering tomorrow. It email was a little hard to tell what I was supposed to do… So, I’m just going to show up to the adoption day tomorrow and see about volunteering. I really, really, really hope it goes well.

I’ve been learning the guitar. It’s been difficult, but not as difficult as I thought it would be. Though, I love it! It’s so weird, other than the tips of my fingers being sensitive as fuck, it hasn’t caused me any wrist pain, which is surprising. I’m really bad right now, but give me a year, I’ll bet you I’ll be able to play one song, lel.

Friday, I hung out with my little brother for a few hours, chilled outside and chatted, then went inside a watched The Ridiculous 6. It was pretty funny honestly. Probably wouldn’t have watched it myself, so.

 Signing Off…

Favorite song today: Machine Gun by YUNGBLUD & White Noise by Badflower

Mood: Up with some deep dips

[radramblog]

Things on my desk

I have a pretty good memory, which leads to a lot of sentimental value being attached to rand objects. On the upside, this means A Lot of things I have have stories behind them.

My desk is kinda a mess. It’s reflective of my general state of mind. But that means there’s a lot of bullshit to describe, maybe reminisce over a bit. Forgive me if I self-indulge for a bit, I guess.

(i don’t know why the photo is so yellowed, the lighting in here isn’t like that)

First we’ve got the coaster in the back there, from the Elephant Rock Cider Company near Denmark (the town on the south coast of WA, not the country). Got this the first time I went down there, with my dad in late 2016- he wanted to go on a road trip with me, with the excuse being itd be a great way to get driving hours for the L plates I was on at the time. The second time I went, actually being old enough to try the cider, it proved…mediocre.

Assorted MTG nonsense is scattered around this side of the desk. There’s a pile of tokens, pulled out from my bulk bullshit box (it’s embarrassingly large) when I trawled through it last so I could put them in my tokens box (sure haven’t done that yet). The deckbox actually contains my one sleeved Pokemon TCG deck, organised when I thought part of my friend group might have been getting into the game. The other pile of sleeved cards is mostly from my cube- a stack I pulled out to put into the Haakon deck I built- I ended up proxying the cards rather than constantly shifting them between places. There’s an inner sleeve resting on the monitor base- I tried double-sleeving something for that deck before realising I hated doing that- and a couple toploaders under the deckbox from last time I got cards in the mail.

Next to the tokens we have- surprise, more bullshit. There’s a stick of deodorant, always handy to keep around, considering the bathroom I use is on the other side of the house. Two watches are here- the nice Seiko one I got for my 18th birthday and the fitness tracker I got for Christmas with a wink and a nudge. The Seiko I tend to go through phases, where I’ll go from wearing it all the time to never at all. There’s also the permanent marker, which I use to cross off the days on my calendar whenever I finish writing the blog for the day. Then forget to cross anything off for a week or so, like I have right now. Oops. There’s also two dice, an Ixalan Prerelease spindown d20 and a generic black d6. For the life of my I don’t know how or why these are here and not, yknow, in my dice box (aka the box the Seiko came in, repurposed)

Somewhat hard to see near that stuff is three objects. A cotton bud/q-tip, from when last week I was having big problems with earwax buildup and it was affecting my hearing. Not the first time it’s happened, but I’d like it to be the last. Behind that is a packet of silica gel- I don’t know what this came from, but I keep it around in case I spill water on magic cards again- the fact that it has happened to me twice now is uniquely frustrating, and I want to be prepared. Just in case. The little plaid pattern is actually the mini-lanyard-thing (I dunno the actual name) attached to a USB drive, which has a couple movies on it (What we do in the Shadows and Die Hard, I think)- since I’m the one among my friend group the most knowledgeable about piracy it tends to be me getting films and series to people. It’s no major task.

The last couple things in this section include a couple pieces of Pokemon memorabilia. The Bellsprout plushie actually came from a mystery box from a [local pin artist] I had recommended to me- the pins from that decorate my backpack and solidify my aesthetic, while Udon here has a hard time sitting down properly so I don’t know where to put him. The reverse holo Mareep is just something I randomly picked up at a card shop and don’t have anywhere else to put.

There’s also the sticky notes- my to-do list. I have a bad time remembering to do things, so I tend to just write them down somewhere. I vary between using notes like this or my phone, but the notes tend to work better. The pen I don’t have an answer for- this desk wasn’t originally mine, and there’s so much stationary crammed into the drawer that I couldn’t possibly know where it all came from- I can barely even open the thing.

I guess the monitor is worth noting. This is the monitor from the PC my family got in like, 2009 or something? 2011? It was kind of a piece of shit then, but that was the one I gamed on for a very long time, so I put up with it. It’s now my secondary monitor, but it spent a long time as the primary.

(also my phone was there but I took the picture with it so)

The other half then. The playmat acting as a mousepad I won in a bid on a facebook MTG auction group- I bid 3 bucks on the thing because why not, utterly shocked that I won it. I don’t know when PORTCONMAINE was, and I kinda don’t want to find out.

There’s also my airpods and the wireless charger for them but I don’t need to flex that come on now.

The keyboard and mouse I have are both from my brother. He both works at a computer shop and is incredibly into working on his own PC, so parts tend to make their way into his room rather frequently, and spares he tends to give away. The mouse is interesting- highly customizable, but I’ve yet to find a configuration that isn’t a little bit awkward. Also, it stops working half the time, so I probably need a new one. Or just to go back to the office mouse I was using, I can’t program this thing anyway.

Between this nonsense is a PMD Red Rescue Team cartridge I actually picked up today. Growing up in Malaysia the cart I had of the game was very much a bootleg and has stopped working- so I’m glad to have a real one after all this time. Remake, what remake?

The PC itself was also a gift from him for Christmas, a secondhand from his mates but well appreciated considering my computer at the time was a laptop with a broken screen. The stickers on it are my own additions- the top 3 from one [Caramel Coda] who you should definitely check out, he’s a really cool dude who does really cool art. The card kingdom one just came out of an order from that site, and the final one is a VA-11 Hall-A one (it’s the logo for the bartending computer in that game) and that one came with a shirt I bought from the game.

Also, the other half of that fitness tracker is on top of the computer. It comes off so you can charge it.

Anyway, uh, that’s everything? This was a lot more words than I expected, but hey, that’s how it be sometimes. Surely I’ve described everything I keep onhand nearby, right-

aww fuck.

[echopath]

i had the best day

okay, i just wanted to get all this out there just in case there is ever a day where i forget how awesome February 14th, 2017 was to me. First off, I woke up late and had to rush out to get to class on time, only to find that it had been canceled due to the holiday. Instead of just going home I basically said "Fuck it, I'm going to the really good mall an hour away and treating myself." Upon arriving, I stopped by Teavana because tea is delicious, and I had promised @cerminnik to get her some tea. The employee that helped me out, his name was Josh, saw my All-County band t-shirt i never wear but was that day (because i didn't think i would be going into public), and got all excited and we ended chatting about how he was in All-County Orchestra and played viola and all in all he was a nice fucking dude. Then i dropped by Hot Topic because it's a mall, you have to. The woman working there, Tanya, was the reincarnation of the goddess of customer service. She was loud and happy and put a smile on my face as I spent way to much money on a DnD shirt, another gift for Cerminnik, and a little Stranger Things patch (in a d20 shape). I still need to fill out the little review thing that's on the receipt because she deserves all the praise in the world. She was, and I quote, happy to work there because she loves seeing people love the same things that she does. She also commented that my name sounded like a really awesome super villain name (which is the absolute best compliment I have ever received), she plans on having a float for Baltimore Pride, and when I said that I'd prefer going by Echo, she called me that without even an eyebrow raise. Afterwards I went to Capital Teas (because Towson Town Center is blessed with two great tea places), where the lady working there helped me pick out a cup of tea to get (it was Tropical Mango and Moroccan Mint), which turned out to be amazing. While we were waiting for it to brew, we chatted for a bit and I found out she's a Junior at Towson University and is studying to be a brain surgeon (with two minors in Psychology and Physics), she just finished up One Punch Man, and she gave me two new amines to look up (which i wrote down in my sketch/notebook, she liked my doodles). When my tea was done I realized I hadn't paid yet and she said "oh don't worry about it, you're really nice, I'll cover it." and I was so surprised and grateful that I quick drew a little doodle of her as a thank you (we had been joined by a regular, and the two of them were really supportive of the fact that I'm going to community college and told me that I shouldn't be embarrassed by the fact that it's a community college.) After the three of us had finished our chat, I gave her the little doodle and she was so happy and she asked if she could give me a hug and I said yes because I love hugs and I think I helped make her busy day a little better and I left there drinking my tea and almost crying because I don't think I've been that happy in a long time. After that, I realized that I didn't think Cerminnik had anything to brew looseleaf tea in, so i stopped back at teavanna and Josh was there and he joked about how the samples had addictive properties and he seemed genuinely happy to see me again and I don't know it made me happy. Shopping done, chore begins. I need jeans. I was able to find a plus-sized store that sold clothes between sizes 10-30 and that just made me happy because before that store I had gone into a different one that only had up to 14 in store which is bullshit. After trying on a few pairs of jeans I found that, surprisingly, I didn't fit in size 20, but actually size 18, which is a success because I've been stuck in 20s for a while now but whether it was just the brand or something else, I was in size 18 jeans (that are cute and not elastic) and it was just a nice dashing of sprinkles on top of the perfect Sundae that was February 14th, 2017. The only thing I'm really kicking myself about is not getting Capital Tea Lady's name. She really made my day, among the others that also helped out.