#bacchanalian gods

[an-eldritch-peredhel]

I would love to hear some nessa/vana/tulkas/orome thoughts if you wanted to share?

Ohhhh yes I have so many thoughts. Firstly for the vibes I have one ultimate Brainrot Song For They which is The Cult of Dionysus by the Orion Experience.

Before I was actually shipping them they already all occupied the same place in my brain because they make a neat little box of relationships- Nessa and Orome are siblings, Tulkas and Vana are their spouses along with functionally being the "youngest" of the Valar (Vana the ever young, Tulkas the last to come to Arda), Orome and Tulkas have overlapping Domains of hunting and fighting and chase after Morgoth's beasties, Nessa and Vana are considered the weakest Valar and are associated with flowers and general disney princess vibes. That's the basis I was working on.

So it started with... probably Tulkas/Orome but Nessa/Vana wasn't far behind. Tulkas/Orome is peak "construct intricate rituals to touch other men by 'wrestling' in the forest" and also I thought their character vibes suited shipping very well (Tulkas "canonically laughs in battle" Astaldo and Orome "canonically constantly pissed off" Aldaron). Even the Tolkien Gateway article directly contrasts the two. I'm working with what I've got.

Nessa/Vana have textbook fairycore forest lesbian vibes. Making each other flower crowns and braiding each other's hair and dancing in a lush clearing with birds and butterflies and bees and delightful woodland creatures (not to mention Vana's plausible association with fertility ;) Quoth Tolkien Gateway: "Vána robed Nessa with her flowers for [Nessa's] wedding." Could this be gal pals? Sure! But where's the fun in that when it's super gay! This is the least feral pairing simply because of how they relate to each other, but they're also the most shameless.

Of course the problem is that I'm a chronic canon-shipper unless I Physically Cannot Stand it, and I do very much like Orome/Vana and Nessa/Tulkas because you get fun hunter/gardener and dance/dojo vibes respectively, so I fix this the same way that I fix every problem: polyamory!

Orome/Vana has definite Hades/Persephone vibes to me, but wilder and without the whole. Kidnaping thing. Yavanna even slots nicely into Demeter's role but again, no kidnapping. She's much more chill with her brother-in-law. I have many inarticulate vibes about Orome's Domain of the hunt and dying opposing and complimenting Vana's Domain of new life and fresh growth, and how hunters weren't supposed to kill deer in the spring. Because of this, I think Vana is one of the few Valar who has no subjugation(?) at all to Orome's Domain despite the clear nature overlap (others who wouldn't are Varda, Namo, Vaire, Nienna, and Aule, but that's because their Domains don't really overlap with his at all, except for Namo who as Death would overpower Dying.) They are, functionally, each other's force-pairs in Newton's third law- the equal and opposite reactions.

My love for Nessa/Tulkas is more characterization related: to me, they are the epitome of those 20-something Fitness Couples who keep those super detailed daily planners with spots to fill in how much water you drank, who make really healthy delicious looking meals with seemingly no effort and constantly drink various smoothies but like. Fantasy Flavor. Their idea of a hot date is to spot each other at the gym, and martial arts sparring. They would go feral for Capoeira. Crucially, they thrive off of this. Their relationship is astonishingly healthy and peppy and they serve as each other's hype-man. My vibes-only Valar-in-modern-society AU has them opening a strip mall dance class/dojo place.

So we have the siblings, and the spouses, and the spouse swap (which has some very funny crack potential, I specifically find it amusing to imagine Nessa calling dibs on Vana and tossing Tulkas to Orome before stealing her away (they are both very amused, Orome is vaguely aggravated because she could just ask for time with their wife)

Tulkas/Vana starts as something like a relationship of convenience, along the lines of "Hey, our spouses are busy chasing each other around like idiots for Sibling Shenanigans, want to make out?" but ends up as something not quite romantic but past... FWBs I guess lol. A foundation of their relationship is committing to the bit- If Nessa and Orome are arguing it's even odds as to who will side with who, but if either of them has an argument with Tulkas or Vana it is the other's sworn duty to side with their bestie, no matter how utterly stupid. They will "Yes-And" each other's stories into eternity, even if it's a blatantly untrue excuse. This drives their spouses absolutely insane because "I know you're lying, and I know you know I know you're lying, and I know for a fact that you weren't doing something as dumb as convincing Aule to put smiley face shapes in rocks" but they will double down. (The one time they did this to Yavanna while on a warpath was unintentional and terrifying once they realized, but they committed and got her so frustrated and confused that she bluescreened and stormed off, forgetting why she had been interrogating Vana in the first place). Basically, they bring out the idiot in each other, and despite having very little in common they get along very well. It is also important to me that I see their typical physical forms as being a massive, firey, golden-veined stone giant (Tulkas), and a young, uncanny, bug-eyed and golden-haired hobbit lass (Vana). To the Valar this doesn't really register as strange beyond vague inconvenience for interacting, but to any elves who see them hanging out together it Very Much Is.

To use the terms I used in Appointed, Orome and Vana are Counterpoints, Nessa and Tulkas, Nessa and Vana, and Orome and Tulkas are Harmonies, and Nessa and Orome are Tone-mates and Harmonies. Tulkas and Vana are not quite Harmonies but they harmonize regardless. Don't mind if this makes no sense lol.

[may-fleece]

Bacchanalia - wine, freedom, intoxication and ecstasy

bacchantes

[daenystheedreamer]

Valyrian Pantheon Headcanons

We know the names of 5 of the Valyrian gods and that's it. We don't know anything about the practices or even what those gods were patrons of. Here is my headcanon reconstruction of the pantheon ^_^

I think the Fourteen Flames (the volcanoes) are named for fourteen gods who constitute the main pantheon, similar to the 12 Greek Olympians or the 12 Roman Dei Consentes. There are many minor gods, usually personifications of concepts like seasons/emotions.

I imagine them like Egyptian gods, who are personified sometimes as humans, sometimes as animals, sometimes as animal-headed humanoids. I imagine the main fourteen as dragons, though idk how silly that would look lol.

I think they were also androgynous gods. Why? That's fun. That's so fun. Dragons are theorised to be hermaphroditic/intersex who can change their sex at will, but also are referred to as she-dragons if they are confirmed to lay clutches of eggs. So some of these gods are gods, and some are goddesses, despite being a-gender

Canonical Gods

BALERION: I believe Balerion's name is at least a little inspired by Ba'al, an ancient Semitic god who was very important to the religions of the region (Canaan, Babylon, etc) and features as a false god in the Hebrew bible. I think he's the King of the gods, like Zeus. God of war or fire or conquest or all of the above. Many ancient gods shifted their patronage and powers.

VHAGAR: Consort of Balerion, similar to Hera. Goddess of war/wisdom, similar to Athena. I think this fits a person like Visenya.

MERAXES: Perhaps a concubine of Balerion? Like how Zeus had thousands of lovers. Metis, Leto, Demeter, etcetera. Goddess of love, because Rhaenys seems like a woman who enjoyed love and life. Perhaps also a goddess of marriage?

SYRAX: It's gotta be someone Rhaenyra would think is cool. Perhaps a goddess of the sun/moon? Another war goddess? A queen? Actually, perhaps Syrax is the Hera of the pantheon, while Vhagar is not necessarily virginal like Athena but 'unmarried' so to speak. Goddess of beauty/wealth would also fit Rhaenyra. Goddess of the sun or moon would be fun in opposition to Sunfyre.

BOASH: called 'The Blind God' Mentioned as the god the Lorathi worship, whose religious followers (dissidents of the Valyrian Freehold) founded the city of Lorath. The name doesn't follow the typical Valyrian naming traditions, perhaps he was originally Boax/Boaxes? Would be fun. He's a very esoteric god connected to 'higher truths', the priests are eunuchs and the followers are vegetarian teetotalers and a main tenant is that everyone is equal. They also wear hair shirts which is an old Christian practice. I think he's a version of a Valyrian death god

the BLACK GOAT: Whose followers founded Qohor. I think he's a minor god, perhaps of magic or agriculture even, agricultural deities tend to be very important to common folk. However the goat imagery evokes Satan and Baphomet, so I think a villainous or death deity would be fun.

Non-canonical gods

A lot of the Targ dragons are given names with similar naming style to the canonical god dragons.

VERMITHOR & VERMAX: The naming conventions of Vermax and Vermithor intrigue me... I think one is the name of the God and one is a theophoric name in reference to the god. Perhaps a god of justice, law, order, etc, since they were the dragons of Jaehaerys and Jacaerys and I can see them picking that kind of God.

ARRAX: Lucerys names his dragon this, so I think a coming-of-age god or god of youths would be fun since he, yknow, got eated at 14.

CARAXES: This is Daemon's dragon so I'm saying Caraxes is the Dionysus/Hermes trickster god. Daemon picking the bacchanalian drunk sex god for his dragon is real to me.

MELEYS: Rhaenys TQWNW's dragon. Rhaenys gives off SUCH demeter vibes idk so agricultural god would be fun but idk i don't think she'd pick something like that. Perhaps its based off of Meraxes since Rhaenys is her namesake. Perhaps an oceanic or weather-based god.

MORGHUL: Morghul is simply the word for death in High Valyrian e.g. 'Valar Morghulis', but I like it as a euphemistic name for a God of death. Like his name is so tabboo that you just refer to him as death, or he's just named death in relation to afterlife, like how Hades refers to both the god and the underworld. I think perhaps Boash and the Black Goat are actually interpretations/aspects of the same deity, perhaps a death - morghul - god.

SHRYKOS: Sick name sorry just had to say that. He's Jaehaerys (son of Helaegon)'s dragon. got no clue what he could be a god of cos jaehaerys is a plot device character. I think he's just a cool Valyrian word, like Morghul, since Jaehaerys and Jaehaera are twins. Be fun if they picked life/death dichotomy for their dragons :p

TERRAX: ridden by the pre-doom character Jaenara Belaerys, who flew further south in Sothoryos than anyone else. God(dess) of travel/wisdom/conquest/oceans would be fun since she's a traveller who flew across oceans and sort of exemplifies the Valyrian conquest/adventurer spirit.

TESSARION: Okay the blue queen has to be a goddess of the ocean or the sky<3

TYRAXES: Joffrey's dragon :) I think a god of animals would be cute also cos he sounds like T-rex. I would name my dragon T-rex. Possibly a bastardisation of Terrax though...

URRAX: This is the name of a legendary/fairytale dragon from the story of Serwyn and Daeryssa from the Age of Heroes. By Daeryssa's naming convention and the fact she is mentioned only in AGOT, I think she was perhaps supposed to be a Targaryen before GRRM had established a full history. I think he's just a bastardisation of perhaps a Valyrian god like Arrax.

So my vision of the Valyrian pantheon includes Balerion, Vhagar, Meraxes, Syrax, Vermithor, Arrax, Caraxes, Terrax, Tessarion, which is 9 gods

plus Meleys and Tyraxes who I'm not sure if I want to be referring to above gods or just the name of a god entirely, which makes 11

Adding a death god (Boash, Black Goat, Moghul) makes 12,

which leaves another two unnamed for my personal idea of a Valyrian pantheon :)

[talonabraxas]

X. To Pan Come, blessed Pan, whom rural haunts delight, Come, leaping, agile, wand’ring, starry light; The Hours and Seasons, wait thy high command, And round thy throne in graceful order stand. Goat-footed, horned, Bacchanalian Pan, Fanatic pow’r, from whom the world began, Whose various parts by thee inspir’d, combine In endless dance and melody divine. — Orphic Hymn to Pan (2nd c. CE)

“Pan” God of Nature Talon Abraxas

[house-of-mirrors]

I think wines should be forced to dress up for hallowmas too..... what costume would it wear tho

"Would a Master wear a mask like this or like this"

I imagine it would want to be Dionysus or Zeus or something with the laurels and scepter and a cloak with more elaborate detailing, like stars and vines or lightning. Maybe some magic ink/needlework that creates moving scenes of Bacchanalian revelry or an awesome and vengeful sky king. But then again that's Wines' level of theatrics and god-complex on a regular day.

Silly answer:

Purple grape guy from underwear commercials but with scarlet stockings

[theres-a-tvjoe]

Nice Guys Throw Punches - SFK/DRW

Well, here’s the fluffiest, most protective!Danny that’s been stuck in my brain for days. Big thanks to @ofthecaravel for freaking out with me eeeeee here we go.

READ ON AO3

-

Wanted: Have You Seen This Man? He’s actually just a really nice guy.

That’s what Danny’s poster had said. And he is. He is a nice guy, has on more than one occasion been called a gentle giant (mostly by Josh), fills his role as band mediator with ease, and has always been a lover, not a fighter.

But, he supposes, exceptions are always made. Which is what got him to where he is now, sitting on the bumper of an ambulance next to the festival beer garden with a broken nose and split knuckles.

He swears he’s a nice guy.

One Hour Earlier

It’s not surprising that Lollapalooza is packed to the gills with drunk and high festival goers. It’s the nature of a festival to be a sprawling bacchanalian free for all, really. That’s why the Kiszka brothers thrive at festivals and why Danny always feels like he’s herding kittens trying to keep all three of them alive.

“Thanks,” Danny says, nodding to the bartender in the beer garden before wading his way back through the throngs of people, holding the two bottles of beer a little higher to avoid being jostled by someone telling an overenthusiastic story.

They’d played earlier in the day, a riotous set that went off without a hitch and left them all in a post-show euphoria that was only briefly interrupted by showers and changing clothes before continuing on now.

“Beer delivery,” Danny chirps, sidling up behind Sam and moving his boyfriend’s chestnut hair to one side of his neck. Sam is mid conversation with Jake and Josh, the three of them talking completely over each other. Danny presses the cold beer to the sensitive skin of Sam’s neck, grinning.

Sam squawks loudly, immediately turning and swatting at him.

“Asshole,” he half shouts, trying in vain to pinch at Danny’s sides while the taller man evades his efforts. “That’s no way to treat the love of your life.”

Danny hastily apologises to the group of girls he bumps into trying to avoid Sam’s punishment, looping an arm around Sam’s waist and tugging him close, a beer still in each hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says, still grinning.

Sam makes a grab for Danny’s backwards hat, missing when Danny makes a bite at his arm. “You are not, you unrepentant frat boy -”

“Am too, and if I’m a frat boy that makes you -”

“Alright alright,” Josh says, clapping his hands. “Enough, children. Daniel, give the baby his beer before he gets cranky.”

Danny laughs, not letting Sam go but handing him the beer and pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I hate you,” Sam says, leaning into him.

Danny grins. “I know, baby. Drink your beer.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Jake rolls his eyes. He takes a pull of his own beer, shaking his head fondly.

It’s been over a year now since Sam and Danny had made it official - it being them, of course, and their decision to finally end everyone’s collective ‘will they, won’t they’ misery. Happy tears were shed by parents, hollers and hugs were given by siblings. But Sam had been deeply offended when literally no one was surprised by their announcement of a relationship, and had pinched Danny’s nipple right through his shirt as revenge when the taller man had shrugged and said ‘that’s fair, it was a long time coming’.

“It’s really packed in here,” Josh says, looking around them. More people are flooding into the beer garden, musicians and festival goers alike, and it’s making personal space significantly harder to come by.

They’ve melded with a group of other players, conversation flowing easily and laughter loud. Danny is regretting his choice of a white t-shirt, knowing that the chances of a spill are getting higher by the second but it’s worth it to watch Sam’s face light up as he tells a story.

As if on cue, Sam gestures broadly with his hand and accidentally catches the drink of a passerby, knocking it against their chest.

“Oh shit,” Sam says, turning. “Sorry man -”

The man hisses angrily as he peels his wet shirt away from his chest. He’s about Danny’s height but twice as broad, bald headed and skin going pink with anger. Danny frowns, not liking the way the man’s mood has shifted so quickly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” he spits, throwing his now empty cup onto the ground and shaking the spilled beer off his hand. “Fucking - my shirt is ruined .”

The unexpected anger draws the attention of the twins and the rest of the group, eyes widening in surprise at the outburst.

Sam winces, obviously feeling bad. “It was an accident, man, I’ll buy you another drink -”

“Shut the fuck up,” the man snaps, finally looking up from his shirt to fix his angry stare at Sam.

“Listen, he said he was sorry,” Danny interjects, brow furrowed as he steps between Sam and the man, hands up between them. He wants to keep the peace, to get this asshole on his way as fast as possible, but something isn’t sitting right. His heart is beating faster now, the tension palpable. “It was an accident, it happens. We can find you another shirt.”

The man snorts, looking Sam up and down before turning to fix his gaze on Danny.

“You know, I saw you two earlier,” he says, sneering. “Looking awfully cozy. Maybe if you knew how to control your bitch this wouldn’t have happened.”

“What the fuck,” Jake says, automatically stepping closer to Sam. Josh circles a hand instinctively around Sam’s wrist, anchoring him to the spot.

“Hey, fuck you man -” Sam starts, brows dropping in anger as he moves to step forward only to be impeded by Josh.

“See?” the man laughs, the sound grating and mean. He pokes a finger into Danny’s chest. “Maybe I should take him off your hands, teach him some fucking manners -”

Danny isn’t sure when he drops his beer, but somewhere between the bottle leaving his hand and it hitting the ground, he makes a choice.

No one talks about Sam that way, not while Daniel fucking Wagner walks the earth.

He reels back and throws a hard punch, fist connecting solidly with the man’s face in a loud thud. The garden immediately erupts into chaos, people stumbling backwards from the fight to get away from the crossfire. Josh yanks Sam back as the man retaliates, grappling Danny to the ground as they both throw hit after hit.

A few others jump in to try to break it up, but it’s violent.

What feels like an hour is only a minute, maybe two before security is rushing in and pulling the two men apart. There’s blood in the dirt and Danny has never been so angry in his life.

“Let me go,” Danny demands, struggling against the hold of two security guards. The other man is yelling obscenities and slurs while being forcefully escorted from the tent, and Danny takes some satisfaction from the split lip he’s sporting. “I’m - Jesus, I’m not going to go after him, let me go.”

“I’ll get the medics,” one of them says, speaking quickly into the radio on his chest before striding out of the tent. The security guard lets Danny go, telling him not to go anywhere until the medic arrives.

The entire garden is a mess of activity and chatter, the energy thrumming with nerves and surprise. Danny’s ears are ringing and his heart is pounding out of his chest. The adrenaline is still thrumming at a million miles an hour through his veins, and he barely registers he’s being spoken to until there are gentle hands on either side of his face.

“Daniel,” Sam is saying, sweet face creased with worry. “Hey, look at me.”

“Medic is over here, come on,” Jake is saying, hand gentle on Danny’s upper arm. Josh is shooing people out of the way, already explaining everything that happened to the paramedic.

“Hey man,” says the medic, getting Danny’s attention. “My name is Noah. Looks like you got into a bit of a scrap, hey?”

Danny shakes his head, but immediately winces as pain shoots through his face.

“I’m fine,” he croaks, but the words come out a little slurred. Suddenly Danny is very aware of the blood in his mouth.

“Here, let’s sit him down,” Noah says, helping Jake seat Danny on the bumper of the ambulance, the back doors wide and a medical bag opened.

Sam is pacing back and forth, continually running his hands through his hair. Josh is off to the side, on the phone with management already while Jake confers with security again.

Noah makes Danny follow a pen with his eyes, checks his pulse, and listens to his heart. He carefully tips Danny’s head back, helping him hold an ice pack over his nose.

“Well I can tell you one thing,” he says good naturedly. “It’s a good thing you guys already played your set, because you’re going to be hurting once that adrenaline wears off.”

“Already there,” Danny says, the words coming out like he’s got the world's worst cold. Everything fucking hurts now. His knuckles are aching and his head feels like one giant bruise.

“Yeah,” Noah sighs sympathetically, jotting something down on his clipboard before pulling out a few butterfly bandages from his bag. “A broken nose is no fun. But it’s not crooked, so that’s a small victory.”

That seems to stir Sam from his pacing, nearly skidding to a stop in front of Danny.

“What the hell were you thinking, Daniel?!” he bursts, every inch of him seeming to vibrate with anxiety. “You’ve never made a fist in your fucking life and you decide that testing it out on a man twice your size is the way to go?”

Noah bites his lips together, giving Danny a ‘you’re in trouuuuuble’ look as he pulls the ice pack away gently.

“We were the same height,” Danny protests weakly, wincing as Noah carefully places a butterfly bandage over the split skin on the bridge of his nose.

“No, shut up,” Sam says, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Just - why, Daniel?”

Danny frowns, confused by the question.

“What do you mean, why?” he asks, dutifully holding still as Noah continues to work on cleaning him up.

Sam rolls his eyes, but he looks dangerously close to tears. Danny’s heart aches in his chest, and he wants to pull his boyfriend closer.

“I mean why,” Sam repeats. “Why did you start a fight?”

“He started it,” Danny protests, wincing as Noah cleans his knuckles. “I wasn’t just going to stand there and let him talk about you like that, Sam. I didn’t even - I didn’t even think about it, alright? I just did it.”

Sam seems to deflate a little at that, jaw working stubbornly.

“Well it was fucking stupid,” he says, scuffing at an errant pebble with the toe of his sneaker. “Now you look like a sad raccoon with your -” he gestures to Danny’s face. “Black eyes and shit.”

“Cute look,” Danny says, not bothering to fight the fierce wave of fondness welling inside of him for his boyfriend. Only Sam would manage to express fear and concern as a truly bizarre insult. “What a weird way to kick a guy while he’s down. How about a ‘thanks for sticking up for me, Danny’ or an ‘I love you, Danny’?”

“I love you Danny,” Josh says, pocketing his phone as he comes to join them. He swings an arm around Sam, pulling him in for a tight hug despite the younger man fighting it. “This little rat bastard of a child is just trying to pretend he’s not scared shitless because his boy got hurt, isn’t that right Sam?”

“I am not scared,” Sam says, shoving Josh away. Jake rolls his eyes, moving to sit next to Danny on the bumper of the ambulance. “I’m pissed off, he could’ve - he could have died! And then we’d have to get a new drummer, okay, and that’s just a pain in the ass -”

Noah gives Danny the all clear, and he stands. He has no doubt he looks like shit, shirt stained with blood, eyes blooming black and blue, knuckles and nose bandaged.

“Sammy,” Danny interrupts him gently. “C’mere.”

“No,” Sam snaps, crossing his arms and resolutely looking at the ground. “You’re gross. You’re all bloody.”

“Sam,” Danny repeats. He opens his arms, waiting patiently.

Sam doesn’t last another five seconds before he’s throwing himself into Danny’s arms, hiding his face in Danny’s neck.

“Why would you do that?” he whispers, and Danny can feel the tremble in Sam’s willowy frame. “You - you got hurt, Daniel, okay? Why -”

“Because I love you,” Danny murmurs, pressing his lips carefully to the top of Sam’s head. “And I figured one of us was about to throw a punch, so better me than you. That face of yours is our moneymaker.”

Sam laughs wetly, sniffling a little against Danny’s neck. He pulls back, wiping roughly at his eyes.

“Shut up,” he says, but he’s smiling now. Danny smiles back, even though it hurts.

“Alright, cut it out,” Josh says, voice suspiciously choked. “If you start crying, Jake’s going to cry.”

“Yeah right,” Jake says, but his sunglasses have been firmly placed over his eyes. He turns to Noah, clearing his throat. “What’s the verdict? Hospital?”

“If you want to, but you don’t have to,” Noah says, zipping up his med bag. He strips off his gloves, giving them all an easy smile. “It’s not a bad break and nothing is crooked. So as long as you keep icing it and go easy, you shouldn’t have an issue. Obviously, if you start bleeding again or notice any changes in your vision or headaches, go right away.”

“Roger that,” Josh nods, reaching out a hand to Noah to shake. “Thanks for your help.”

“No problem, guys,” Noah says, shaking each of their hands (Danny’s very gently). “A great set, by the way. Now get out of here, go rest.”

“You heard the man,” Jake says, standing and gesturing for them to get a move on. “Let’s go.”

-

The ride back to the hotel is longer than expected with a stop at a pharmacy for some painkillers and ice packs, but they’re back and getting settled as the sun is sinking below the horizon. Showers are had, painkillers taken, and room service on the way.

Sam is fussing with the pillows on the bed - trying to get them to an appropriate height for Danny to be propped up while he sleeps - when there’s a knock at their door. Danny goes to answer, waving Sam off with a gentle reminder that he can handle opening a door with a broken nose.

It’s Jake and Josh, unsurprisingly, the two of them standing in the doorway expectantly.

Danny opens the door a little wider with a huffed laugh, welcoming them in.

“Just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay,” Jake says, peering around the corner at Sam with an amused smile. “See if you need anything.”

“We’re good,” Danny says gratefully. “Thanks though. How much trouble did I get us into with management?”

Josh waves him off, blowing a raspberry. “Nothing for you to worry about, Danny boy. We told them of your heroic act in defence of Sam, it’s all fine.”

Danny lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, relieved.

“Thanks man,” he says. “Really appreciate it. I didn’t mean to make such a mess of things.”

Jake pins him with a gentle look. “You didn’t make a mess of things,” he says, voice a little softer like he doesn’t want Sam to overhear. “You went to battle for our baby brother. He’s lucky to have you, Danny. We couldn’t ask for a better man for him, I hope you know that.”

Danny feels like he’s been winded, the words so achingly sincere yet so simple in a way that only Jake ever manages to pull off. He blinks a few times in quick succession, surprised by the sudden burn of tears.

“I’d do anything for him,” he says simply, voice wobbling because there’s nothing else to say. It’s Danny’s foundational truth. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Sam.

“We know,” Josh says, smiling and squeezing Danny’s arm. He clears his throat, looking around the corner at Sam. “Good thing, too,” he says, louder. “We were worried no one would take him off our hands, you know. He’s a real pain in the ass.”

“Huge,” Jake agrees, nodding seriously. “We really can’t thank you enough for your sacrifice. We thought we’d be stuck with him forever.”

“Oh my god, can you two leave,” Sam shouts, brandishing a pillow like he’s going to march over and hit them. “I have to tend to my injured boyfriend, go be annoying somewhere else!”

Jake lifts his hands in surrender, smirking as he backs away towards the door.

“Be good, kiddos,” Josh chirps with a wink. “No strenuous activity!”

Danny laughs, shaking his head as he bids them both goodnight, locking the door behind them. He pads back into the bedroom, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, reaching out for Sam. He pulls him to stand between his knees, looking up at him. He rests his hands on Sam’s hips, thumbs brushing the soft skin just under his threadbare shirt. “I’m sorry I scared you today.”

Sam swallows, lifting a hand to tug at one of Danny’s damp curls.

“Yeah, well,” he says softly, smiling a little. “It was also pretty sexy of you to defend my honour like that.”

Danny smiles, squeezing Sam’s hips. “Yeah?”

Sam snorts, rolling his eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head. You barely made it out alive.”

Danny barks a laugh. He slaps Sam’s ass teasingly, pulling him closer and tugging him down into his lap.

“Screw you, I was winning,” he says, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind Sam’s ear as the smaller man settles in his lap.

“Oh, is it opposite day?”

“If it is then I really hate you,” Danny quips, smiling up at him.

Sam rolls his eyes, hands so careful when they cup Danny’s face. He leans in and kisses him gently.

“I hate you too, Daniel Wagner.”

[swanmaids]

orome god of bacchanalian revelry. vana goddess of sex pollen and related things. tulkas god of homoerotic brawling. nessa goddess of manic dance plagues...

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hiiii!!! I love your recs especially your historical romance stuff but I was wondering if you had any dark romances recs?? Like contemporary? I want to read some more darker stuff but the stuff booktok is on is mediocre at best.

Yes! Not as many as I'd like, tbh, but that's because a) time management issues b) me being excessively picky. Unfortunately, the flooding of the dark romance market means that a lot of them... are not good. Mediocre at best, as you say.

Soooo I would recommend Sierra Simone. Not just because she's one of my favorites, but because, if you're looking for something on the darker end but not like, "WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND" shit... Yeah. Would recommend her.

Her darkest series is her Thornchapel books, which does have some mysticism and magic to it, but not enough for me to properly call it paranormal (though I do sometimes). It's like gothic-toned. And it has one thing that even a lot of dark romances I read don't do. An extreme taboo, shall we say.

Basically, the plot (it's 4 books, all must be read in order) is that six childhood friends come back together as adults, with various issues with each other, etc. They find out about these bacchanalian rituals their parents used to do (think... orgies lol) and decide to take part on a lark, which opens some really fucked up, insane shit. There are two main relationships, one of which is MMF and one of which is FF. It's very kinky (think BDSM, free use, again a lot of group sex). It's very intense. Everyone does have sex with each other at some point lol.

If you want NO magic, her Lyonesse series is billed as dark romance, and while there is darker stuff out there, it's still dark. It's a retelling of the Tristan and Isolde myth, MMF, kinky. Basically: a banking heiress who wants to be a nun and enjoys killing people (for God) is betrothed to a powerful, cold kink club owner/former CIA killer man as a power trade. (This is contemporary, though.) Shit happens, and during their engagement (during which they're living in separate countries) he also begins a relationship with his sad-eyed 'd, beautiful bodyguard. Said bodyguard is heartbroken when he finds out Mr. Boss is engaged, and is sent to fetch her... and they begin something too. And also there are secrets. And murder. Some torture. Loooots of sadomasochism. Moral gray-to-charcoal behavior. One of my favorite endings in recent memory. Lots of mindfuckery.

It's GREAT. start with the prequel novella, Salt in the Wound, and go from there (must be read in order). I would also recommend reading her New Camelot trilogy first, which... Like, less murder happens? I guess? It's more political. But I still consider it on the darker end, tbh. There's kidnapping, there's war, there's betrayal, there's that taboo shit again, there's fucking while one of you has open, poorly patched bullet wounds and the blood is slicking between your bodies... Basically, this one of my holy grail series and I think it's perfect. MMF, very kinky, hot hot hot, cry cry cry, based on Arthurian legend.

King's Captive by Amber Bardan is BONKERS and a great dark romance (I need to read more by her, but again, time management problems). The heroine's father is killed by the hero in the beginning, and the hero sweeps her off to his private island. Flash to years later, and she's been there the whole time. And he hasn't touched her (not really). But things are boiling.... Very twisty-turny, and again, WILD. There's some good, weird shit in here.

On the mafia end, I'd recommend Mila Finelli's Kings of Italy (Italian mafia) which is super hot and has some good kink. On the "violence is all around us" kidnapping/biiiig age gap (no underage shit, but think 18 and 38) end. Mafia Madman is my favorite (and the darkest—he keeps her in a cage lol), but I'd recommend reading them in order. Kresley Cole's Game Maker series is a bit darker, Russian mafia, has a lot of murder, kidnapping, some wacky shit. Really well-done, especially the latter two books.

Run, Posy Run by Cate C. Well is a good Italian-American mafia romance, definitely darker, in which the heroine's boyfriend (who's like... kind of emotionless lol) finds out she was cheating on him. Except she wasn't. She goes on the run, he chases her, there's a lot of threatening shit, etc. It's great.

If you want to read some legit fucked up shit that's more on the erotica end of the spectrum (though there is still a pretty amazing central romance) then Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series is right there. This has some MESSED. UP. SHIT. Dubcon, noncon, underage activity, seriously risky kink (bloodplay, cutting, choking with a belt and with hands, lots of pain play—our main "hero" is a Catholic priest who can't get it up without inflicting pain, even though he doesn't want to like... legit hurt the heroine). Femdom, pegging, group sex, free use... you'll find it all here.

Not all of this series ages well. I don't love the underage stuff. I really don't love the way the author handles POC (there's like... one main character of color from what I remember, and she's basically a white guy's love interest, and she's great in theory, but boy do I dislike a lot of the way Reisz talks about her on the page). But it is fascinating in many aspects, and I do love the main three characters.

Catch: if you want it to have an HEA, just stop on book 8.... She revived the series after years with book 9. It sucks. It leaves you on a sort of open situation with no sign of when the next book will come out, and I'm not sure how that'll all... end up. It's really not good.

BUT the original series is over, and if you stop there the ending is great. And that's the only ending I acknowledge.

[bamgyw]

i know yeonjun's supposed to be evil spirited and a horny bastard in six nights but i wanna know ur thoughts on him being That but also silly in like,, an adorable way....... sometimes.... bc i want him.. badly. kinda!

hi !! i love this kind of ask so much mhhpfnjsjsk. now i get to go on an insufferable rant. thanks for indulging me, god bless you.

so, the thing about yeonjun in six nights is that he's supposed to be entitled. someone who has had it easy in contraposition to beomgyu, soobin and the mc. he's silly and nonchalant because he gets to be. he has nothing to lose. no inquisitive religious authorities, no economic struggles, no beating waiting for him at home.

it's a very specific type of sheltered / unmarred boyhood, haven't u met someone like that irl? the type of boy who is confident and conceited because he has never been questioned or reprimanded.

yeonjun is greedy, too, and gets angry when he can't have it his way. he gets totally jealous at the possibility of the mc being into someone else, just at the slightest sign of disinterest from her.

(and all this greediness and sense of obervearing self-esteem is a product of how he was brought up. his dad is literally a big mighty capitalist, taking as much as he can from less powerful people just to accumulate wealth.)

but still. yeonjun is also quick witted,,, really charismatic, and obviously good-looking. the kind of person who's a walking red flag but you're down bad for anyway because of how attractive they are.

everyone wants him, and he's used to people wanting him, and he thrives on that feeling of being worshipped and glorified. which is fucked up, but it's hot! confidence is hot, and boldness his hot, and he knows that.

he also represents a sense of unrestrained lust and sex for the sake of sex. which i think is really appealing in this context of repression and religious guilt. a kind of bacchanalian fantasy. he's open about being sexually attracted to the mc, and keeps on planting nasty scenarios in her mind.

so it's an universal struggle, how hot he is even though he's mean spirited and cruel. classic,,,, bad boy appeal, i guess.

a side of him is for those who would've had a desperate crush on the popular boy from school, cute and funny, makes everyone laugh, skirt-chaser and praised for it, the whole pack.

and another side of him is for the denigration kink, autodestructive girlies. manipulative, aggressively horny, spits filth non-stop.

depends on your personal interpretation, and that's okay !! the two overlap for me, but idk,,

sheesh i cannot shut my ass up. sorry.

[tylercircuit]

The Curtain Call: performance and ‘reality’ on the Renaissance English stage and in the cinematic works of David Lynch

Attached is a link to my most recent blog post on the works of David Lynch, including Twin Peaks.

The Curtain Call: performance and ‘reality’ on the Renaissance English stage and in the cinematic works of David Lynch

The News Circuit

The Elizabethan (1558-1603) English theatre had a tradition called a 'jig' or an 'aftergame' in which, after the performance of a full-length play of any genre (but especially tragedy), a clown would perform. It's not considered an epilogue in that these plays usually don't contain any of the characters from the play spectators came to see, it's its own comic drama, like a palate cleanser. Some playwrights like Ben Jonson referenced these comic dramas in a metanarrative way.

Jonson's Volpone features a performing group of 'freaks' including a dwarf named Nano, who is asked (not seriously) to perform a jig for the protagonist. This reminds me of the Arm's jig in the Black Lodge and the metanarrative nature of the setting, the fact he's surrounded by red curtains and observed by a spectator (Coop).

This article is about stage performance and its parallels with reality, about Bakhtin and the carnivalesque, and the relationship between those concepts and the works of David Lynch.

Here's an excerpt:

Like Shakespeare’s Tempest, the works of David Lynch seem, whether through the actions or dialogue or the setting in which they take place or both, to be conscious of their performative nature. As a writer-director he appears interested in the concept of performance-within-performance, a metanarrative indication that the film is aware of its own performance, its fiction. Performance and spectatorship are principal to Lynch. In Twin Peaks, the Black Lodge is shrouded by tall red drapes identical to stage curtains. The only respite for Eraserhead’s protagonist is observing or being on stage with the Lady in the Radiator. Frank Booth’s victim in Blue Velvet is a professional singer at a nightclub; it’s her fame and stage presence which leads to her trouble with Frank in the first place. Mulholland Drive and Inland Empire, to different ends, are commentaries on the Hollywood filmmaking industry, and heavily feature scenes of sets and performance. Laura Palmer’s perfect schoolgirl life is performative. She performs to convince her family and friends she does not take drugs; she does not lead a second life in which she has fetishistic orgies with grown adults and know of a ring of groomed and trafficked teenage girls in and around Eastern Washington.

[...]

The world of Twin Peaks is upside-down, a mirror world. In it, Lynch and Frost have created an inverse world typical of the early modern era of English theatre. Shakespeare and his contemporaries created satirical worlds in their comedies in which their contemporary Elizabethan/Jacobean value system is reversed or altered. Social order is deconstructed by the early modern satirist and reorganised, offering spectators a mirror reality. In a Mark Fisher-esque, capitalist realist way, this type of spectatorship is purgative. It gives spectators a chance to revel in activities considered immoral and live vicariously through characters who might, for example, fool other characters that they are the opposite sex by dressing as such, or flirt with characters of the same sex, or decry God and Christianity, or party too hard and sin too much. It’s a Bacchanalian tradition, evocative of the Roman festival Saturnalia in which, for a single day, slaves pretended to be masters and masters slaves. It’s a catharsis and, almost paradoxically, reinforces ‘the rules’. In abandoning the rules on stage or in carnival, revellers can return to the real world cleansed of their antisocial desires, like Fisher suggests returning to the real world after observing a performance of revolution satisfies the urge to revolt. Bakhtin calls the literary equivalent of this, your Shakespeares and your Lynches, the carnival mode.

[...]

Bakhtin’s carnival symbolises the dismantling of structure and control. Normative order is replaced by strange and arguably immoral phenomena, contrary to the moral foundations of real contemporary society. Performance in Lynch’s work is symbolic of the abandonment of social order. Laura Palmer’s homecoming queen performance is offset by her other performance, the drug-abusing femme fatale type – in reality, she is neither.

Laura rejects order. She rejects the moral value system imposed on her. For Laura, so long as she is in control, even (or especially) if the act she is in control of is self-destructive, she is comfortable. Performance is her strength. Manipulation of both sides is her strength. She can manipulate her mother and her teachers and the pretty boys at school, and she can manipulate Jacques and Leo and the statutory rapists and child sex traffickers and paedophile truck drivers, and she can exercise some form of control over Bob.

Performance in the Black Lodge is the visual representation that this spiritual world exists outside of the rules of reality, it is through the looking glass, forget what you thought you knew.

[...]

For Lynch, all realities are performative, all performance is reality. What is real and what is performed roll into one. Social order is rejected and no one thing is truth: there are multiple truths, multiple realities, multiple potential reorganisations of the dismantled concept of contemporary social order.

[creature-wizard]

Finding information that confirms another suspicion of mine: the global satanic conspiracy narrative can be traced back to allegations made against the Cult of Dionysus/Bacchus.

The following was written by Livy in 186 BCE (long before Rome was Christianized!):

Hispala then gave a full account of the origin of the mysteries. At first," she said, "those rites were performed by women. No man used to be admitted. They had three stated days in the year on which persons were initiated among the Bacchanalians, in the daytime. The matrons used to be appointed priestesses, in rotation. Paculla Minia, a Campanian, when priestess, made an alteration in every particular, as if by the direction of the gods. For she first introduced men, who were her own sons, Minucius and Herrenius, both surnamed Cerrinius; changed the time of celebration, from day to night; and, instead of three days in the year, appointed five days of initiation, in each month. From the time that the rites were thus made common, and men were intermixed with women, and the licentious freedom of the night was added, there was nothing wicked, nothing flagitious, that had not been practiced among them. There were more frequent pollution of men with each other than with women. If any were less patient in submitting to dishonor, or more averse to the commission of vice, they were sacrificed as victims. To think nothing unlawful was the grand maxim of their religion. The men, as if bereft of reason, uttered predictions, with frantic contortions of their bodies; the women, in the habit of Bacchantes, with their hair disheveled, and carrying blazing torches, ran down to the Tiber; where, dipping their torches in the water, they drew them up again with the flame unextinguished, being composed of native sulphur and charcoal. They said that those men were carried off by the gods, whom the machines laid hold of and dragged from their view into secret caves. These were such as refused to take the oath of the society, or to associate in their crimes, or to submit to defilement. This number was exceedingly great now, almost a second state in themselves, and among them were many men and women of noble families. During the last two years it had been a rule, that no person above the age of twenty should be initiated; for they sought for people of such age as made them more liable to suffer deception and personal abuse.

Gay sex! Human sacrifice! Child abuse! Subverting all things good and lawful as religious praxis! Infiltrating every level of society! It's all right here in this pre-Christian Roman conspiracy theory.

[officialpenisenvy]

Do you have any recommendations for Led Zeppelin documentaries or biographies? I always liked their music, and lately I've been wanting to get more into them, thanks in part to your posting, so I'd love to hear any recs you have.

so basically the unfortunate thing about led zeppelin documentaries is that there are no really good ones out there lol. i have decently high hopes for becoming led zeppelin (which is to be released next year and which centers the rise of the band in 1968-1969), but of the existing documentaries none of them are satisfactory beyond providing the most surface-level look at their lives and stardom: id say if you know nothing at all about the band save for their names and instruments you can learn something by going on youtube and searching "led zeppelin documentary" and watching something like a to zeppelin or whole lotta rock or whatever bullshit hour-long title pops up, provided you take everything but the most biographical verifiable information with a grain of salt.

if you already have a wikipedia-skim level of knowledge and want to get deeper, biographies are your best friends! trampled under foot by barney hoskyns is an amazing oral history and one of the most reliable zeppelin books out there, and led zeppelin by bob spitz (the beatles guy) is a very detailed and flowery read, though it gets a few things wrong here and there — when giants walked the earth by mick wall is also supposedly a great read, rich in anecdotes and blending hoskyns's interview-like style with prose.

i caution you against hammer of the gods by stephen davis and stairway to heaven by richard cole, perhaps the most notorious zep biographies ever: richard cole was the band's tour manager for their entire duration and the architect of most of their trademark bacchanalian chaos, and when he needed drug money in the mid-80s he sold a truckload of stories about the band to the highest bidder (namely stephen davis) and then wrote his own book as well, but he later walked back a good amount of his sordid tales and admitted to lying and exaggerating for money. they are still very interesting books, especially if you read them as fictionalized accounts of real people's lives, and they are very insightful in terms of how the general public perceives zeppelin and their mythos, having directly helped build it — it's also interesting that richard cole is the only member of the entourage who openly fucking loathed robert plant and was loathed in return, at least in part due to cole being a homophobe and a generally unpleasant guy, so it's a curiously biased perspective you never otherwise see since robert was so universally well-liked by everyone else.

if you've read all this and still want some juicy relationship drama or some more women i can't not recommend miss pamela des barres's books: she's a former groupie queen and a long-time zeppelin friend and paramour, as well as an absolute character in her own right, and will waste no chance of recounting the softness of jimmy's lips or the coarseness of robert's chest hair or whatever the fuck — i personally recommend let's spend the night together, more focused on her own and others' groupie antics, and her autobiography im with the band, which is just an incredible cultural artifact.

[chiss-ticism]

for the Sabbat OCs of your choice: 29, 35, 46, and 48? :3

tysm!!!

dividers by @/marquisedegramont

🎨 - Crownedinmarigolds [Ida, Judy, Luther] 🎨 - belthegore [Sir Percival]

Judith "Moody Judy" Margolis: Brujah, Black Hand Remover, Pack Ductus.

Ida Obertus: Tzimisce, Pack Priest, Former Revenant.

Sir Percival: Ventrue Antitribu. Templar. [Black Hand Recruit in New Orleans by Night]

Luther: Lasombra. Caine's silliest little guy.

29.) Do they frequently change locations or do they have a fixed location where they live?

Both! Their communal haven, maintained by two Obertus Revenants whilst the Pack is otherwise occupied with the Dark Father's work, is located in Montreal. It's a unparalleled repository for knowledge - forgotten and mundane. Not that they're advertising that, mind you. When the entire pack is on the move - be it as backup for Judy's Black Hand scheming, or should the Beckoning ever prove too much for Ida to hold off - they typically set up 2 - 3 havens. A dingier one for Judy to maintain the appearance of her Mask - Mina Graham, Anarch, itinerant scholar from Out of Town - and other havens as needed for Ida, Percy, Luther, and the one Revenant they keep with them at all times.

Nestled away in a quiet corner of the manor's expansive libraries lay an alter handcrafted and carved from basalt; an exquisite bas relief, inlaid with gold as it were, depicts a family drinking deeply from goblets. Three men and one woman glut themselves on the bacchanalian feast - thirteen empty chairs wreathing them. Atop the dedicatary lay a simplistic statue of the Dark Father, his head cast downwards: askance from the heavens. At his feet lay offerings from the denizens of the home - the preserved skull of a Tremere (fangs intact), a vial of Ravnos blood, a seemingly nondescript rock (taken from Zillah's place of torpid suspension), several framed fragments Book of Nod - penned delicately atop parchment made of skin, and several (smaller) tributes left by the attending Revenants of the household who - by blood, culture, and history - also claim descendance from Caine. Swaddling the entire thing were bundles upon bundles of meticulously maintained flowers; some were grown in the manor's garden, others still imported directly from the cradle of civilization itself. Crossbred to produce a subtle reminder: venerate what was, appreciate what is, and stride brazenly toward what could be.

35.) How old is your OC up until their death?

Luther: Died at 24 years old. [1784]

Ida: Died at 32 years old. [1884]

Percival: Died at 42 years old. [1942]

Judy: Died at 27 years old. [1952]

46.) What are their ambition(s) if any? Rather generically, loosen the grip of the Antediluvians and their unwitting pawns. When building the Pack from scratch, Margo handpicked each of them for their dedication and worth to the cause. They each contribute in their own way

Ida's eidetic memory, vast library, and personal research into supernatural hematology is invaluable.

Luther is a dedicated Noddist [hence him having the Mark of Caine, a byproduct of a long-forgotten ritae, on his forehead.] who also has an eidetic memory and personal experience with throwing metaphorical rocks at Setites.

Percy is sickeningly earnest in everything he does - making him excellent for outreach. Martial support, too.

On top of her capital E extensive research into the Anarch Revolt/Convention of Thorns, personal experience and research into the modern-night Anarch Movement, as well as tidbits on how the Camarilla functions - Margo has the support of the Black Hand.

48.) Detail things about your OC you spent a lot of time on!

Oh god, I'm honestly not too sure... 🤔... I spend so much time thinking about them that it all just kind of blends together, lmao. Thank you for asking, though!!!!

[bluewarf]

"the munchies" is such a funny phrase to me, because i don't want to sit around eating little snacks, I want to CONSUME. i want to devour the whole world in one go. i want to drink in every sensation and know what it means in the truest sense to LIVE. to commune with the earthly divine in bacchanalian rhapsody. to partake in the awful and awesome wonder of creation by simply BEING, as god intended, and know that it is good. the little snacks are a good start though.

[thecreaturecodex]

The Master of Revels

“Moonlight Satyr” © Matteo Parati, accessed at his ArtStation here

[Remember RPG Superstar? I did get into the Top Eight in 2012, but for several years before that entered an item annually, voted and debated on the Paizo forums, and even played along at home for challenges. That’s where this character comes from. My roommate, @canwefixitnoitsfucked​, placed a year (I want to say 2010?) where the challenge was to create a villain, first the concept and then the stat block. This was my “play-along-at-home” villain, who has been rewritten and revised, partially because I can’t find my original file for him. A word of caution: this may be one of the darkest Codex entries yet, with themes of torture and sex trafficking.

As a lighter aside, looking for art for this character was a pain. I learned that images of satyrs who were a) clothed, b) lean and c) male are rather slim pickings.]

Jepson Artemisia, Master of Revels CR 10 CE Fey This man has long horns, long ears and hooves for feet. He is dressed impeccably, and his eyes shine with malice.

Jepson Artemisia is a cleric of Calistria who has made a fortune on the backs of human misery. He is a drug dealer, pimp and slaver. Befitting his veneration of the goddess of revenge, he specializes in abducting and abusing people for hire. For an exorbitant fee, a cad can hire Artemisia to have one of his rivals abducted and have their mind and will broken, leaving them a perfect slave and trophy. Jepson accomplishes this psychological abuse through narcotics, mind-influencing magic, and old-fashioned torture. He especially relishes the servants of lawful gods as his victims, and every paladin who has renounced their oaths and lost their powers is a feather in his cap.

Artemisia spends most of the year traveling as he needs to for his cruel business, but does have a home base. Blackthorn Hall is his domain, a sprawling mansion overlooking an oak woodland. Here he hosts his annual Grand Revel, where his allies, business partners and sycophants engage in bacchanalian excess for an entire week. The Master of Revels employs many miscellaneous low-lives as his security, pushers, alchemists and jailers, but some of his allies are worth spotlighting. His majordomo is an ogre mage who accompanies him on his business trips. His housekeeper is a maenad who uses Blackthorn Hall for fatal feasts while her master is away. And Jepson maintains a stable of spider-eaters, which he uses as mounts, watchdogs and the perpetrators of one of his favorite tortures. Against especially willful victims, the Master of Revels has his spider-eaters sting them and lay eggs inside of them, paralyzing them. These victims he then poses as living statues, forcing them into humiliating postures while the eggs slowly incubate. Usually, victims of this torture are revived through magic and the spider-eaters do not come to term. Usually.

Jepson Artemisia              CR 10 XP 9,600 Satyr cleric of Calistria 9 CE Medium fey Init +5; Senses low-light vision, Perception +18 Defense AC 26, touch 18, flat-footed 20 (+5 Dex, +1 dodge, +5 natural, +3 armor, +2 deflection) hp 140 (8d6+9d8+68) Fort +12, Ref +13, Will +18 DR 5/cold iron Offense Speed 40 ft. Melee +1 deadly whip +16/+11 (1d3+2), gore +10 (1d6) Special Abilities anything to please, channel energy (5d6 negative, 10/day, Will DC 21 half), pipes Spell-like Abilities CL 8th, concentration +15 (+19 casting defensively) At will—charm person (DC 18), dancing lights, ghost sound (DC 17), sleep (DC 18), suggestion (DC 20) 9/day—copycat, dazing touch (9 HD) 1/day—fear (DC 21), summon nature’s ally III 9 rounds/day—master’s illusion (DC 23) Spells CL 9th, concentration +15 (+19 casting defensively) 5th—charm monster (DC 21) (D), greater command (DC 21), insect plague 4th—chaos hammer (DC 20), confusion (DC 20) (D), cure critical wounds (DC 20), freedom of movement 3rd—bestow curse (DC 19), dispel magic, nondetection (D), protection from energy, remove blindness/deafness 2nd—bear’s endurance, cure moderate wounds (DC 18, x2), hold person (DC 18), spiritual weapon, touch of idiocy (D), undetectable alignment 1st—bless, command (DC 17), comprehend languages, disguise self (DC 17) (D), divine favor, protection from law (DC 17), remove fear 0th—detect magic, mending, purify food and drink, stabilize (D)—domain spell (Charm [Lust subdomain], Trickery) Statistics Str 12, Dex 20, Con 18, Int 13, Wis 22, Cha 24 Base Atk +10; CMB +15 (+17 trip or disarm); CMD 27 (29 vs. disarm, trip) Feats Agile Manuevers, Combat Casting, Combat Expertise, Dodge, Improved Disarm, Improved Trip, Selective Channeling, Skill Focus (Bluff), Weapon Finesse Skills Bluff +18, Diplomacy +15, Disguise +15, Intimidate +12, Knowledge (arcana, local, nature, nobility, religion) +9, Linguistics +7, Perception +18, Perform (wind instruments) +19, Ride +10, Sense Motive +14, Spellcraft +9, Stealth +17. Survival +14; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception, +4 Perform, +4 Stealth Languages Abyssal, Common, Elven, Giant, Sylvan Gear +1 leather armor, +1 deadly whip, headband of mental prowess +2 (Wis, Cha), circlet of persuasion, cape of the mountebank, ring of protection +2, wand of remove paralysis (20 charges), wand of cure light wounds (50 charges), potion of invisibility, noble outfit, jewelry worth 100 gp, gold holy symbol of Calistria, masterwork panpipes, 10 pp, 4 gp SQ wealth and privilege Special Abilities Anything to Please (Su): Once per day, Jepson can compel a creature within 30 feet to attempt to please you as a standard action. The creature receives a DC 21 Will save to negate this affect. If the save fails, the creature attacks Jepson’s enemies for 1 round, gives him its most valuable item, or drops prone at his feet and grovels for 1d4 rounds (GM's choice). This is a mind-affecting effect and the save DC is Charisma based. Pipes (Su) Jepson can focus and empower his magic by playing haunting melodies on his panpipes. When he plays, all creatures within a 60-foot radius must make a DC 21 Will save or be affected by charm person, fear, sleep, or suggestion, depending on what tune he chooses. A creature that successfully saves against any of the pipes' effects cannot be affected by the same set of pipes for 24 hours, but can still be affected by Jepson’s other spell-like abilities as normal. Jepson’s use of his pipes does not count toward his uses per day of his spell-like abilities, and if separated from them he may continue to use his standard abilities. The pipes themselves are masterwork, and Jepson can craft a replacement with 1 week of labor. The save DC is Charisma-based. Wealth and Privilege (Ex) Jepson Artemesia’s statistics are built using 25 point buy, and he has gear equivalent to a 9th level PC. These advantages increase his CR by 1.

[penelopecruzcoded]

oh don't even get me fucking started

still one of the BEST bands i have EVER seen live in my stupid short life

i just.....have you ever encountered band made of pure magic and witchcraft? spinning the entire audience into one big frenzied wave of ecstasy? that's a crystal fighters live show. i saw them twice both times by accident and both times the most magical experiences, one of those rare bands that sounds even more amazing live than recorded. their recorded tracks just do not do their magic justice. that feeling of being completely, entirely, FULLY alive. especially for a bitch like me who's dissociating at any given moment because she does not want to be in the present? oh my god... they brought me back. i was FULLY present there, fully alive, fully feeling. i could not tell you the name of anybody in this band but that doesn't even matter, because they are all pure magic. at home is one of the most beautiful love songs i have ever heard in my life. was so sad to hear about their drummer's death.

i just... i don't know what they put in their instruments, there was something magical about them and unreal. the second time i saw them was reading fest and they were under a big tent where some man was tripping balls in the middle of their set, he had half a dozen people searching for something he had dropped on the ground frantically, because we're all such good samaritans and wanted to help. but he was off his head and turns out he was searching for a piece of gum he dropped. half a dozen people all searching for a chewed up piece of gum. and that's just one of the things i witnessed at their live shows. bacchanalian trances are real, y'all.