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cookies-and-mirrors · 1 month ago

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Prison of Stone and Flesh

Chapter Thirty-Five

This is a collaborative fic between @cookiesupplier, @faceless-mirror & @comforting-madness

Dividers by @samspenandsword @cafekitsune @saradika-graphics

Authors Note: Did you really expect the smut not to be coming after the last chapter for our darlings? Come on now!

Pairings: Multi-Pairings, Everybody x Everybody.

Triggerlist: transphobia, homophobia, abuse, SA, dubcon, religious trauma, past suicide attempts, mental health issues, grief, death, violence, kidnapping, suicidal ideation, torture, (To be added to)

Christopher, Justin, and Ryan are members of the Gargoyle Order, soldiers fighting in the angels war against the demonic supernatural evils of the world to protect human kind. Through the years they lost comrades and now just the three of them remain in their little town.

Now, Ricky and Vinny are moving into their church, stirring up old and new feelings, along with the past, posing the challenge of navigating this new chapter in their lives.

Can they all navigate this path successfully and break free of the prisons that is their lives of both stone and flesh, or will they all be trapped forever in a world that could prove to be a constant misery?

MASTERLIST HERE

Taglist: @miamore0570 @21-century-tae @dragon-chica @shilohrosechicken @comforting-madness

@missduffsblog @witchyweeb34 @spicywhenspeaking @lacktoesandtoddlerants @blackveilomens

@bngurngheart @dominuslunae @collapsedglasshouses @emmmm127 @sunsshinesunny

@latenightmusiclover @dontdiganothergravetoday @high-wire @awkwardalex

(please comment/like/reblog/message to be added to taglist)

Chapter Thirty Five

Vinny, as soon as the door closed, she was on top of Chris cupping his face as she whimpered softly, kissing him hungrily. “Daddy- Chris- sir- please-” she whispered, shaking like a leaf. It felt like every part of her was begging for him.

As worried as Chris was about Noah when it came to what Gwynn said when it came to bring his temperature down, that was a thought for later. He nodded to Gwynn as the angel left at the reminder about the need for more skyfish, for tomorrow, to keep the growing archangel tribrid fed… Right, the fact he was seven foot, turns out that was nothing. Archangels could be as tall as over eight feet, and his father had been as tall as Chris was, who knows how tall Noah was going to be.

Now, though, as soon as the door shut behind the pair, his focus was entirely on his mate. Everything else, was out the window. “BabyGirl, you, show me.” Picking her up without another word and carrying her into their bedroom. She’d been blessed, they’d been blessed. What had been taken from them two centuries ago, their babies, they could try again, it might not be the same this time, but they could try.

She mewled softly kissing him as she was carried, already working on getting layers from her. Desperately and in need. “Please. I want… I want you to see and feel. Chris, please.” She begged, pulling back to take off her shirt. Her bra a bit more full, almost a c cup now- and her body was thinner than before, like the excess masculine parts had been smoothed down. Her lips pressed to his again, leaving her shivering for him.

Moaning against her lips as he kissed her, clothes were coming from both of them as soon as he set her down on the bed. Chris was thankful that the new bed had arrived, fully reinforced too, the thought of breeding his mate was intense, just as much as the thought of his beast form… if not more so. His hands ran down her body, fuck, her breasts, was it wrong that he remembered exactly how her body curved… They were going to have to update some of her wardrobe, more supportive. Kissing down her body, groaning against her skin as he was shed more of their clothes, climbing onto the bed with her.

Vinny was laid-back, spreading her legs for him, cupping his face. “Daddy.” She breathed out softly, kissing him her cock had shrunk some and her balls were gone, leaving her with a pretty tight hole that was gleaming for him. Welcoming him in.

Chris made his way down Chenza’s curves now that their bodies were completely bare, enjoying every inch, every touch of her newly exposed form. Moaning against her skin as he reached her groin, fingers wrapped around her hips, slimmer than the last time he’d had her on like this before he mouthed at her cock. Until finally, he licked along the slick hole waiting for him.

Chenza’s hips bucked and she trembled, panting softly. “Daddy-!” She moaned, fingers in his hair as her back arched. “Sir please- please-” the feeling was familiar but forgotten as she clung to him and the bed, body quaking.

“Fuck, BabyGirl.” Chris licked over her slit again, she tasted just as she did before, as if he could ever forget, not even in two centuries. Licking his tongue into her with a groan, his fingers squeezing at her hips ever so slightly. “Oh, I’ve missed how good you taste like this.”

Vinny’s eyes fluttered and rolled back grinding down on his tongue and lips eagerly, “Chris- Chris I missed this… baby-” she whispered, “I want to be bred. Please- I need it- I need you. I want our little ones-” she breathed, her nails biting his skin like echoing reminders of when they first messed around. All claws and teeth and pleading desperation.

Hissing as he felt her nails digging into his scalp, not that he had a care in the world that her fingers were digging in, he welcomed it. Chris could never forget that first time they had gotten their hands on each other, that first time they had finally given in to the desire brewing between them that neither had wanted to admit to until then. His hips undulating against the bed as he continued to moan against her in the present, licking deep into her. Lifting his head, swiping a finger gently over her hole carefully, her slit was so tight, knowing she was untouched now, she was like this, he was not going to hurt her like this… Pressing his finger into her, “We’ll get our little ones baby, I promise, we will.”

She mewled softly, riding his finger as she moved to take his finger instinctively, “Chris- Chris come here-” Vinny begged of him, clicking her teeth as her eyes fluttered. She wanted to hold on to him as he prepped her. Oh, how she wanted everything-

Chris knew with Chenza being human this time, everything could very well be different, it might take them longer, but they could have their littles now, they would, he would give them to her. She could carry them, just as she wanted… bring their life into the world, their babies. As she begged him, he hushed her softly, “Shhh not too fast BabyGirl, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m going to breed you, but it's been a long time… and it's the first time again…” Slowly, gently, he pressed a second finger into her as she rode him. After how he knew he could be…

“Christopher Cerulli I want to fucking kiss you so get up here so I can kiss your face.” Chenza grumbled as she moaned out, rolling her hips more aggressively, whimpering as she tried to pull him up to her.

A rumble of a growl came barely a moment before Christopher surged up, and his lips claimed hers, that kiss she wanted, it came with a primal edge, his fingers thrusting deep inside of her still. His little human mate was tiny compared and reaching down, his fingers twisted to make sure she was stretched, so perfect, so open for him… Oh, she was perfect. It had been so long, and with their size difference, he wasn’t going to hurt her, not when he was going to breed her, not when he knew her human body could only take so much. Even with a blessing. Chris had been around humans his entire existence, longer than any of the others. He’d seen their struggles, he would never want his mate limited such as that.

She moaned against his lips, nails scraping as she kissed back, nails raking over his shoulders as she moaned, panting softly as she kissed down his neck and collarbones, teeth scraping teasingly as she rode his fingers eagerly.

Chris shuddered at the feeling of her teeth against his skin, his collarbones, he had always reacted so intensely when she bit down there, the marks she left there were so intense. The only disappointment was the fact he was forced to heal every day when they were trapped in their stone forms. That wasn’t going to be an issue any longer with his sunlight rune, he would wear any marks she left on him, whether with her teeth, or her nails, with delight.

Twisting his fingers inside of her as she rode them, panting with a moan at her teeth, adding another finger, curling them inside her. Chris was eager to learn everything she enjoyed all over again like this.

She gasped softly as he rubbed just right, making her cry out before her teeth bit into his shoulder. Moaning as she bit hard before sucking the skin and rubbing her tongue over it, wanting to leave a mark that he would have for a few days at the very least. “Mine. My mate.” She mewled when she finally released his shoulder, throwing her head back as she clenched around him.

“Fuck.” When Chenza’s teeth sank into his shoulder, Chris groaned so loud, she knew all his sweet spots. “I’m yours BabyGirl, all yours, and you're mine.” When she clenched so tight around his fingers, he knew she was ready for him with her moan, she could take him, so with one last twist of his fingers, he slipped them out of her. Shifting around, he hooked her thigh around his hip to steady her as he lined up his cock and pressed inside of her.

Vinny groaned at the loss of his fingers inside her, whimpering before her eyes rolled back as his cock was then filling her up. So different from before and so familiar, she gasped, holding on to him before kissing him deeper as she shivered. “Daddy-”

Chris’ hips rolled into her as he kissed her, moaning against her hips, his groin rubbing against her cock trapped between them as he thrust deeper into her, to fill her completely. “That's it BabyGirl, so good.” Nipping at her lip as he kissed her again, she was so perfect as his hands started to run up the sides of her body, feeling the new curves the blessing had given her. Some of them were quite subtle, but they were there.

Vinny mewled trembling and leaning into each touch loving it as she squirmed against him grinding some as her eyes fluttered taking him in so hungrily. Her cock throbbed, trapped between them. “Daddy- Chris-” she warned softly before cumming wrapped so tight around him, clinging to him. Knowing they were just starting.

Feeling her come, with the way she clenched around him, the gargoyle groaned, he deepened the kiss, his hips arched into her, stilling for a moment. Fuck, that, of course, wasn’t going to last long before he was rolling his hips so he could slide out and thrust back into her. His arms slipped under her back to pull her as close as possible.

Chenza clung to him, biting and kissing the other side of his neck, legs trembling happily, and sweet moans came from her rocking on his cock as she melted under him. With each thrust into his mate, the vigor of his hips became slightly more intense. Chris was trying to keep himself in check, not for the sake of holding himself back, oh he never wanted that, he didn't intend to hurt Chenza… not when she’d only just been blessed. Not when she was going to be carrying their children.

“Fuck, Chenza… going to breed you so full…” He shuddered as he came inside of her, but that didn’t stop him. No, holding himself deep as he came inside of her, filling her, breeding her. His hands sliding down to her hips, lifting her just a little to slide a pillow under her hips and keep him inside of her as he thrust into her again.

She mewled happily, pulling him into a deeper, hungrier kiss. “I wanna be full. I want to have our babies- Chris- Chris- I want… please-” Chenza babbled gently looking into his eyes. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed being bred like this with Chris holding her. Missing seeing him and feeling him breed her.

The pillow had her arched up and him sliding even deeper into her, growling against her mouth as he kissed her, his hips driving his cock inside of her with each roll of his hips. Nails that were slipping until they were half clawed were scrapping down her side, “You’ll be so full, so round, our babies growing inside you again.”

She sniffled before crying out at the thought, legs locking around his hips as she held on tightly, cumming hard again, feeling light-headed for a second before locking her lips with his once more.

“Can you feel them kicking inside you already, BabyGirl.” Chris knew the thrum was an echo of their own heart beats, but he could imagine, he could, feeling their babies' tiny little lives growing inside of her. Fuck, fuck, moaning as he shifted his hips, hands grasping at her, nails digging into her skin slightly as she came, clenching around him with her kiss. Moaning as he fucked into her so deep as he was cumming inside of her again, so focused on breeding her. If there was even the slightest chance with her human cycle…

Vinny trembled, “I can't wait to feel their hands, their feet, wings-” she breathed, smiling as she kissed him again and again, shaking as she clung to him, not minding the sting of his nails. Chris licked inside of her mouth as he continued to thrust inside of her body, pressing all of his seed as far inside of her womb as he could. Keeping it in her with the tilt of her hips under the pillow, moaning against her mouth as he felt her muscles flutter around his cock with each thrust.

“You need to hire a manager for the café, I’m not going to let you out of this bed, for at least a week.” Smiling against her lips.

“I can do that-” she breathed softly, kissing him deeply and lovingly, playing with his hair and her curls were spread on the bed beneath her. “Chris- they won't be replacements… but they're going to be ours. Our littles.” Chenza breathed out, smiling.

Smiling softly, no, not replacements. “Our littles.” Their babies, they wouldn’t replace the babies they had lost, any more than their babies would have been more important to him than any of his children before. One might think so because she was his mate, but Chris never played favorites, he refused.

“Our little bats.” Chenza mused softly, kissing him. “I hope they get your smile.” She whispered sweetly.

Chuckling, Chris grinned, “I still hope they have your curls.” He knew that sometimes she thought they were too wild, but he loved them. He loved playing with her hair, and the thought that their babies would have her sweet curls would just delight him completely. “Remind me not to let Ryan teach them how to fly; however, he’s lost his touch.” Used to be, Ryan was the first one to help the kids to learn to fly… He had a way with the kids when it came to flying… Chris didn’t know how he did it, but he just knew how to make a game out of it. Now, now he went and threw Noah off the roof.

“I think Justin may take that role from Ryan.” Vinny whispered, “Justin seems so thrilled to have littles… I’m excited for him…” She breathed, green eyes fluttering softly as she nuzzled his neck. “Also, it could be because Noah is 400 years old.”

“I think he will…. Who knows, he might find clouds to be the most fun training ground.” She mused, nuzzling his chest gently. “I need to put up an Indeed posting, though.” She teased, reaching for her phone to post the listing she had in drafts.

“I am excited too, but that isn’t an excuse, the very first test of his training and throws him off the roof? Why?” Chris shook his head, he was glad that Gwynn had handled it, but Chris wasn’t happy with him. Seeing Noah happier now, and eating better, that was so much better. Sighing, “I can only hope that it won’t scare him off flying for good, and he’ll let me take him up at some point.” He would be going up tonight, catch plenty, enough for hopefully a week, both Noah and Gwynn, even Ricky, they all needed the skyfish for strength, not to mention the babies growing, they were tribrids too. Skyfish was the only guaranteed blessed food that they still easily had access to outside of Heaven. All other blessed animals were still in heaven… Animals blessed by archangels in this realm had long died out that Chris knew of.

Chris remembers the days when training in the clouds was an utter a delight, however, the thought of it now, he wasn’t sure how that might go. They’d have to be careful of it now, not sure which angels could be trusted, and which were out to get them. The fact that archangels were out to kill, archangels couldn’t be trusted, they had to walk on eggshells. “We’ll have to be careful playing in the clouds.” Curling up with her in bed as she reached for her phone, humming as she fiddled with it, “Hmm?”

“You wanted me to get someone who could run the shop, so I'm not working all the time. I’ve been thinking about it too.” Vinny mused. “Playing in the clouds as long as he stays near you wouldn't be too bad, at least.” She whispered.

Smiling softly, his lips pressing to Chenza’s in a long sensual kiss, sighing against her skin, so happy that they could be here, together. The thought of spending time in the clouds with Noah was perfection, the day he would let Chris take him up was one he looked forward to. “Okay, in saying that, I should go fish so we can keep him fed, and strengthen him up a bit, Gwynn too.” He hadn’t liked how either of them reacted after the blessing. It had shown how badly they needed the steady supply of angel food. “Enough that, you can use some too if you like.”

Vinny smiled, “I would love to make some filling food for Noah and Gwynn… It’d be so helpful…” she sighed, “By the way, tonight I'll make you a lunch and a green smoothie with matcha to keep you alert.” She murmured.

“I look forward to it, Baby.” Nothing like a good Midnight lunch… Returning from fishing to one of Vinny’s green smoothies would be a reminder of waking from the day to seeing their coasters with the smoothies she’d made for them from the café. With a quick kiss, he pulled back so he could get up from the bed and dress, he’d need to go get his flight gear and prep for being up in the clouds and fishing. Best for safety.

Chenza whined as Chris got up, pulling on a pair of panties and a shirt before going to make his lunch and smoothie. She at least knew he'd devour a smoothie after their romp… even if he wouldn't admit that he was always a bit peckish after the deed was done… she knew.

Once they were both dressed, Chris followed her out so he could grab his lunch, the smoothie, before heading up into the clouds.

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bunnakit · 1 year ago

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can i have your top 5 feral boys AND old mans you meet this year?

lkjlakjglk YOU KNOW ME SO WELL - so i just started watching BL in june??? so pretty much everything is new to me, sorry if some of these are old news to ya'll. idk if you meant for me to pick 5 of each but that's absolutely what i'm gonna do.

"OLD MEN" BRACKET 🌸 (most are my age or younger)

hoooooly shit papang in general. houghghhh i want to lick the blood off his teeth. i want to raise anarchist young adults together. i want to-- well. let's not bring beam into this, maybe. regardless, old man of all time.

what right does this old man have??? hello??? you just go around LOOKING LIKE THAT? all the time? i want to run a humble restaurant together. i'd be his ride or die.

i had to go make a gif special for him bc no one loves akk the way i do apparently. i wanna fuck that old man - and yeah, you can add that one to the counter. obsessed with him, i wanna see him get a romance of his own, i want to know everything about him. (and this is saying something bc i hate cops, but The Sign boys get a pass - for now.)

i know chan has pretty privilege ok? i KNOW. i do not care. i love him, i want to know everything about him, i've started several fics about him, he was my first absolute brainrot in BL.

i understand what chen yi was about and once again i am asking sooo so nicely for a prequel about his and ming lei's past and relationship. i would love if it was a parallel to chen yi and ai di.

FERAL BOYS BRACKET 🌸

this comes as a shock to absolutely no one. ai di is my specialist boy. i adore him so much, i want to hang out with him so bad. i wanna be best friends. i can't wait for my rainbow sweater to get here.

jack and his boobs are everything. he really stole the show for me (as all side romances tend to.) this is another show i could use a spin off or sequel of just them, give me everything, i love them - jack especially. give me jack's whole past, his pov up to meeting chao lian.

pisaeng counts, don't @ me. he was so feral in his own way for kali. absolutely unhinged behavior. wingmanning your own crush? winking and finger gunning at him on day one? PINING FOR HIM FOR YEARS? pisaeng something is deeply wrong with you and i love you for it.

tan is the epitome of "you're delicious as a concept, but as a real person i worry for you" - ESPECIALLY after reading the novel. i'm still laughing that according to personalities database we are the same personality. his flavor of feral is just soooo so sexy.

babygirl there is something so very wrong with you. this bad boy can fit so much repressed trauma in it. i think he should be allowed to bite people for fun. every fanfic i read exploring black's mental state makes me love him more and more. (also he's so difficult to write, i respect fanfic authors that explore black's pov so much)

ask me my top 5 anything BL!

#bunn asks #top 5 bl #manner of death #not me the series #the sign #be my favorite #history 3: trapped #kiseki: dear to me #moonlight chicken #kinnporsche #papang phromphiriya #kali my beloved

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royallyprincesslilly · 2 years ago

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Title: Trauma: Hysteria {3-4 Shot} ** {1}

Title: Trauma: Hysteria {3-4 Shot}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader GF

Content Warning: Trauma, Language, Violence, Injury, Angst, 18+ Mature Content, NSFW, Smut, Creative Liberties Taken, Drama,

Triggers: Emotional and Mental Trauma Due to Injury, Violence,

Words: 3.5K

Summary: Racing has always been dangerous, you knew that, and after over 10 years in his career Lewis has never had a serious injury. Until today.

Note: As a heads up I've taken plenty of creative liberties here in this Work of FICTION. However, if you're feeling like you wanna fight or argue over it, come on then.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread AT ALL***

~~~~~~~

The soft press of his lips against yours made the hairs on the back of your neck rise.

“Mm.”

You could feel Lewis smile against you. “I love how you react to me,” he whispered.

Slipping your hand between your bodies you rubbed your palm against the hardening mass pressed against your stomach.

“And I love how you react to me,” you replied.

Lewis groaned then pulled away from you.

“I do not need a situation right now, Y/N,” he said as he walked around the kitchen island.

“What? You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?”

He shook his head at your mischievousness.

“Watch yourself,” Lewis warned with a playful smirk.

You smiled then went back to putting the finishing touches on the fruit salad you were making the both of you. Grabbing the whipped cream bottle, you swirled a generous helping on top then slid a bowl to him.

“Bon Appetite my love.”

You bent your head back and squeezed the nozzle, filling your mouth with the creamy sweet goodness.

“Mmm.”

You met his eyes across the island. He was intently staring at your mouth as you ate the whipped cream.

“What?”

“You have uh--,” Lewis began nudging his head to you before he tapped the corner of his mouth.

“I made a mess?”

Lewis bit his bottom lip, your words clearly affecting him. Slinking your tongue out, you darted it to the corner of your mouth then over your bottom lip. Slowly you licked your lips all the while never taking your eyes off of his.

“Did I get it all?”

You repeated your actions then bit your bottom lip before sucking it into your mouth.

“Yeah?”

Lewis bolted up and within seconds he’d rounded the island and hoisted you onto it. Forgotten was your fruit salad as it was pushed to the side where the whipped cream began to melt.

“What’re you doing?”

“Clearly giving you what you want.”

Lewis tipped his tongue out then licked your lips before plunging his tongue into your mouth for one of the most sensual kisses you’d ever experienced. It didn’t take long for him to have you moaning as his hands explored your body. First, he trailed along your spine with his fingertips, then, when he reached your tailbone his large hands gripped the curves of your ass and kneaded the supple flesh there.

“Mmm,” Lewis grumbled against the sensitive flesh of your neck.

“Your body was made for me, princess.”

You smiled and cocked your head to the side. “Oh was it?”

To prove his point, Lewis brought his hand between your body to cup your sex. A breathy gasped escaped you as your head flung back. Lewis took advantage by biting down on the overly sensitive spot where your neck and shoulder met.

“Fuck!”

“Mm, see. I barely touched you babygirl.”

“Barely,” you whispered.

Your body was on high alert and the need for him took over everything. Crashing your lips to his you took control from him. slowly you swirled your tongue around his then nibbled on his bottom lip. His moan sent goosebumps along your flesh and moisture between your thighs.

Lewis quickly gathered you in his arms and walked through your home. With every step you stripped one another leaving a trail of clothes behind. When he pressed your back onto the bed you both were desperate for one another. Lewis traced his lips down the center of your body, leaving a fiery trail of need wherever he went. When his lips wrapped around your aching nipple, you were whimpering from the need to have more of him, and he loved it. You could tell.

“Don’t whine babygirl, use your words,” Lewis taunted as his fingers tweaked your other nipple while his breath caressed you and cooled the moisture he’d left behind on your left nipple.

“Le--.”

Using his teeth he rolled your nipple between them bringing you even more pleasure.

“Lewis!”

“Mm, yes princess.”

As he waited for your reply his lips continued to wreak havoc on you. As you tried to formulate words your back arched off of the bed, thighs spread wider and wider silently begging him to put you out of your misery. When words failed you Lewis upped the ante by swirling his thumb around your swollen clit. Again a breathy gasp fell from your lips.

“Damn princess, I’ve hardly touched you and you’re already so wet for me.”

You bucked your hips hoping to force his hand to give you more than feather lite touches but he in the nick of time, he yanked his hand away.

“No shortcuts. Use your words.”

Your frustrated groan was his reply and the smile on his lips said he loved how on edge you were.

“I need you.”

“What do you need?”

You reached for his hand and brushed the backs of his fingers across your sex. You watched him bite his bottom lip as he watched you use his fingers to stimulate yourself. When he didn’t pull away you took things a step further and lined up two of his fingers with your entrance. Slowly you slipped them inside of you. You’d intended to take things slow but the first feel of him inside of you changed everything.

Upon the first few thrusts, your eyes were rolled to the back of your head, however when your breathing quickened his fingers withdrew.

“Words babygirl.”

Your eyes met his and you watched him dip down to drop a kiss right over your clit.

“Fuck, fuck me Lewis. Fuck me now!”

“Just like that? No please, no foreplay?”

You were so ready to just kick him off of you and finish the job yourself, but you also knew your release wouldn’t be as satisfying. He must have known what you thought because his smirk was sinister. The fucker knew it for sure.

“You’re the one with limited time,” you said raising your foot to rub against his hardened need.

“Mm, you’re right which means it is entirely up to you on if I take my time and make you see stars or fuck you mercilessly, and thoroughly until you can’t sit comfortably for the rest of the day.”

Just like that fresh wetness pooled between your thighs. You smirked because the man really thought that was a threat. You brought your hand between your thighs and continued where his fingers left off.

“Who would be the one sitting uncomfortably in a tight car for hours with a hard dick with no way to relieve himself with this image in his mind?”

You saw the moment he realized the truth of your words and it was your turn to smile sinisterly. Lewis licked his lips and shifted no doubt trying to relieve the tightness in his underwear. He’d reached critical levels. His eyes dropped to your hand as they mesmerized him long enough for you to shiver as your release crept closer.

“Feels so good baby,” you moaned.

Lewis stood then peeled off his boxer-briefs allowing you to bask in the glory of his perfectly toasted skin that told the story of his life, hopes and dreams. As your eyes glided over his frame your mouth watered. He was perfection and he was all yours. The bed dipped from his weight was he lowered his face to where you wanted him the most. Lewis moved your hand then wrapped his lips around your fingers, sucking them clean.

With your eyes locked he inched your desire for him higher than you thought possible. When you pulled your fingers from his mouth he lowered his face to your core but you snapped your thighs shut.

“Use your words baby,” you taunted.

Lewis scoffed then pried your thighs apart pressing them back onto the bed leaving you spread wide for him.

“Mercilessly and thoroughly it is.”

Before you could respond, Lewis buried his face between your legs and set the pace within seconds. As you whimpered, moaned, and shivered he licked, sucked, and nibbled your sex sending tumultuous jolts of pleasure and pain through you. It was a combination both of you were addicted to. As you writhed on the bed his grip on your thighs tightened restricting your movements even further.

It didn’t take long for your body to quiver and shake and as you came for the first time, Lewis slammed into you delivering on option one of making you see stars.

“Fuuuck!”

“Whose pussy is this, princess?”

His whisper against the shell of your ear only heightened the sensations going through your body.

“Yours,” you whispered back.

“Mine?”

Your eyes locked once again, and you nodded. “Forever yours.”

Pleasure and pain melded together bringing you to complete delirium, but you weren’t the only one who was crippled. Lewis was right there with you.

~~~~~~

An hour later, true to his word, you sat behind the scenes uncomfortably. Every move you made only sent spasms of soreness through you. The joints of your shoulders ached from him holding your arms above your head as he plowed into you with perfect precision. Your hips panged with discomfort from him keeping your spread wide for him so he could watch himself slide in and out of you. Every time you moved the soreness between your legs had you sighing. He’d shown no mercy and had definitely gotten the job done thoroughly.

“Are you okay?”

Toto’s face was filled with concern as he sat beside you.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Just sore from a crazy workout yesterday. Tried something new and clearly went too hard too soon,” you lied.

He nodded and you hoped he believed it. How embarrassing would it be if he suspected the real reason you thought to yourself.

“He’s looking good today,” Toto added.

You nodded as you looked at the TV screen. “He sure does. He’s held his spot for more than forty laps now.”

“If he keeps up like this and I suspect he will, it’s looking like P1,” Toto said.

Excitement filled you because you’d thought the same thing ten laps ago. He more than deserved P1. In your excitement you bounced completely forgetting about the condition of your nether parts. A small hiss escaped you which brought a few pairs of eyes of concern to you.

“I’m fine.”

“Rough workout,” Toto filled in.

You pinched your lips together stifling a laugh. The man had no idea how true those words were.

You eagerly watched the screen getting more and more excited for Lewis the closer the final lap came. He was keeping it tight with George backing him up in second keeping a tight hold on their sports. They truly were the dream team and worked so well together.

Twenty laps later George and Lewis still had the race on lock even though there had been several attempts made by Red Bull to overtake them. Some rightful but most underhanded and purely dangerous. You were filled with so much angst at this point. You’d watched several close calls that could have ended badly for both George and Lewis.

However, it was on lap twenty-three you blew up. Having seen the move before it happened, you watched as Red Bull’s No.1 did a nasty swerve on the turn which clearly looked like he was intentionally going for Lewis’ front wheel as he tried to pass him. It was only thanks to Lewis’ quick instincts and sheer talent as a driver that he outmaneuvered him and kept his lead while blocking him out.

“What the fuck was that!?”

You shot to your feet, ignoring the ache in your body.

Everyone around you in the Mercedes section chastised the move right along with you.

“How is he still on the track? Toto that wasn’t the first time!”

“I know. I’ll be back.”

You watched him hurry off and knew he was going to where the commissioners were. You remained standing as you watched the rest of the race with bated breath. Lewis was holding the number 1 spot, but Red Bull’s No.1 was now in second with George rounding out third. The anger in you was steadily rising as No.1 continued his attempts at passing Lewis. Within six laps, he’d attempted at least eight dangerous and most likely illegal overtakes all in an effort to intimidate Lewis.

You didn’t know how he managed to remain so calm and focused because if it had been you, you knew you would have gotten petty and said fuck the race, we just gonna square up now. This short fuse for bullshit was the reason why you drove with a baseball bat right at your side and also the reason Lewis preferred you not drive without him riding shotgun.

The sounds coming from the seats confirmed you weren’t the only one who was pissed off by his antics. Everyone was letting it be known that this was unacceptable. You walked toward where Toto was genuinely worried at why nothing had been done. Toto saw you coming and greeted you halfway.

“What is happening?”

“They won’t stop the race. They want to let it play out.”

“They won’t?”

“They can’t. Regulations,” Toto said.

“Regulations?”

You walked around him ready to tell these old ass bastards exactly what you thought of this bullshit. As you walked, you kept one eye on the TV screen and that was when it happened. It was the final lap and with barely a mile left. Lewis was in lead but in the blink of an eye everything went sideways.

No.1 made a dangerous swerve out of formation colliding with the side wheel of Lewis’ car sending him swerving but he quickly recovered only to have No.1 overbear him grinding the side of his car with Lewis’ before ramming hard sending Lewis in a spin out. You gasped and watched on in horror. Because that wasn’t enough, No.1 rammed his back which backfired on him as a fire instantly started under his hood.

Your heart stopped as you watched on and everything from there played in slow motion. The fire caught Lewis’ car sending the two cars in the smoke until you watched them both zip over the finish line, No.1’s first. Lewis’ car reared off the track into a flip before ramming into the side of the course, right along with No.1’s car.

All around you chaos rang out. Tens of people ran onto the track. You thought you were among them, but you quickly realized you weren’t. You were instead struggling in Toto’s arms as he held you back keeping you away from the chaos.

Your throat burned from the force of your screams. You begged Toto to let you go so you could get to Lewis, but he refused. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t move. All you could do was watch as fire crews worked to put out the fire while getting Lewis out. Once the fire was out Toto let you go. It was just in time for you to watch them load Lewis onto a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance. Rage filled you as you watched the ambulance speed off without you in it. You screamed out then turned barreling toward Red Bull’s area. The amount of red you saw; you were surprised you found your way at all.

As you made your way through the crowd several people tried to stop you, but none dared touch you when your eyes landed on them. Instead, they made way for you. Once you got him in your sights you balled your fists. He sat in a chair with his head down in his hands. Suddenly he stood and locked eyes with you. He barely had a scratch on him which made you angrier.

Before he could speak you swung at him with the right hook Lewis had taught you. You watched him drop as everyone around you tried to get to you but none of them touched you. As he stood again, you swung on him again this time connecting with his nose. A satisfying crunch filled the air around you and it made the pain in your hand that much more worth it.

When he stood again blood oozed from his nose, but he didn’t speak.

“What the fuck were you thinking!? What’s wrong with you!?”

He clenched his jaw but didn’t respond.

“Are you that much of a jealous hating little fuck that you can’t win fair, you have to pull this shit!? This is how you win you little fuck!?”

“Y/N!”

You heard Toto’s voice before he pulled you back.

“Stop; the cameras.”

“I don’t give a fuck. He needs to hear this. He needs to know what a small insignificant piece of shit he is. He’s a shit driver with an even shitter personality. He’s so insecure in his talentless ass that he’s jealous of one of this world's kindest and least problematic people. Why?! No one respects you like they do Lewis, and no one values you as an athlete because you’re a pretty child and will never be as good as him.”

The entire time you screamed your words, he didn’t even try to defvend himself because he knew what you spoke was true. The whole time Toto tried to hold you back as you got it all off your chest. You didn’t give a shit that the cameras were rolling. This was simply principle. This man had gone after what was yours and no one got away with shit like that.

“Y/N!”

You pulled away and raised your hands indicating you were finished.

“I swear on everything in this world that means anything to me, everything that I hold dear and everything you hold dear, if he isn’t okay I am going to make it my life’s goal to absolutely ruin you and everything you have!”

For emphasis you raised you knee and kneed him in the balls, sending him to his knees. Before you could do more, your bodyguard lifted you and threw you over his shoulder before he walked off.

“Watch your ass No.1!”

You should have felt better but as you were carried off you only got angrier and angrier. By the time you were set back on your feet you were shaking from your rage. Everyone around you was doing damage control. The commissioners were talking with Toto probably trying to smooth things over, the team was busy dealing with the car, the team’s PR was dealing with the press, and you were pacing in a room as you waited to be able to see Lewis who was in the middle of an investigative interview about the incident.

You itched to see him, ached to touch him to see for yourself that he truly was all right as Toto had reported thirty minutes ago. You didn’t believe it and you couldn’t relax until you confirmed it yourself. Your anger had subsided, but your body still shook and the more you shook the more on edge you felt. After two hours you’d significantly deteriorated. The podium reveal didn’t happen because of the events but the results came out that Lewis would claim P1, George P2 while No.1 would take the L and drop to last place.

It was nearly enough. You wanted to see him fucked over. It was one thing to be competitive but entirely another when you were reckless and intentionally put other people’s lives at risk. It’s a fucking sport. Your stomach was in knots and your throat tight from unshed tears. You were working overtime to keep your emotions capped because you knew if the top came off you’d fall apart.

“Y/N.”

You spun around to find Toto standing in the doorway. One look at your face and he crossed the room to you.

“How are you holding up?”

You pushed everything to the side and stood taller. “Fine. How is he?”

Toto didn’t look convinced.

“I mean it,” you placated.

Nodding he rubbed the back of his neck. “I can take you to him now.”

“Let’s go.”

You walked beside Toto as he led you to Lewis. The crowds had lessened but everything was still chaotic. As you passed embers of Lewis’ team they all looked at you and gave respectful nods before they began clapping one by one until every one of them applauded you. You knew what you’d done was probably against F1 rules and regulations and conduct codes, but you didn’t give a shit and clearly they all agreed with what you’d done.

“They respect you for doing what each of them have probably wanted to do in their time here,” Toto explained.

You scoffed. “I’d do it again. F1 can’t touch me.”

Toto smirked. “I’m happy he has you.”

Toto stopped outside of a room then he looked at you trying to gauge if you were ready. You took a few breaths trying to prepare yourself for what you’d come face to face with in the room. When you looked at Toto he gave you a reassuring smile. When you nodded he opened the door.

{To Be Continued….}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chaneajoyyy @caramara3 @valkryienymph @babyflowa07 @est1887 @halfrican-heat @mauvecherie-writes @nunya7394 @lovebittenbyevans @gardenwonders2 @sweetlikecoffy @dillie60 @ olabelle757 @ophiaedits @kenequa @triton08 @skyesthebomb @shipatheart @keytodespair @xsweetdellzx @labella420 @coldmuffinbanditshoe @ak329 @shar74nett @youremysuperstar @whore-like-behaviour @sonjashuterbugjohnson

@alookintohersoul @asiaaisa77 @jd-now-jq @naturalthrone22 @mrsbarnes-rogers @beyourownkindofbeautiful @beccacupcakesxo @toni9 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @partypoison00 @queenoftheworldisdead @doublesidedscoobysnacks @sophiealiice @richonne4life @coffeebooksandfandom @siempremamita @raveviolet @dumbchick @amennariee @briellableu @leebabe444 @31miw-inkpsycho

@rororo06 @disaster-rose @bugngiz @yourwonderbelle @queenbetter @melaninhawtie @bekindbecoolbeyou @heartfullofgolden @idkiwantchocolatee @missuniee @avngrsfangirl @a-highly-opinionated-mess @19jammmy @nunya7394 @eltima02 @motheroffae @luckydiorxoxo

@majx00 @bbhyuneee @queenanababy @ravenqueen27 @multi-fandom5 @xsweetdellzx @bqueensweet @misswolff @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @blveeeeeee @majx00 @rowansshit @tian-monique

#trauma: hysteria 1 #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton imagine #trauma one shot

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accountantcontent · 3 months ago

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Higgs Monaghan was given the Majima Goro treatment. A very interesting, deep character with a plethora of issues dumbed down to being the fandom's "Babygirl" and being shipped with the protag just because he antagonizes him. Characters that were abused physically and mentally, having to live with it for years to come until using a new sort of alter ego to cope and live with those traumas and newfound potentially violent thoughts that came with it.

I'll be so fr I looooooved both of these characters when I consumed each media. I thought they were attractive at best, the way they interact with others and how they came to be who they are today (present day in the chosen media) really intrigued me. I like them a little nowadays, but the fandom has ruined both characters for me. Don't even get me started on the fandom treatment of those two influencing how people water downland mischarctarize the protags, Sam and Kiryu.

#death stranding #higgs monaghan #majima goro #kiryu kazuma #sam porter bridges

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mielwriting · 4 months ago

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Natlan Archon Quest Act 1, 2 Reaction

Had to split it into multiple parts cause it's so long...

That empty expanse between Sumeru and Natlan that doesn’t have any people or wildlife is jarring. I only realized AFTER I got there that there was a teleport waypoint past all that that had automatically unlocked, but I couldn’t see it cause it was hidden by the archon quest symbol.

Can’t believe the Traveler and Paimon didn’t wanna ask how the Echoes’ Chief suddenly recognized us.

Love the cutscene of the Traveler switching between elements.

Kachina reminds me of Bennett. I expect us to learn about his origins in 5.X

There are fantasy giraffes?!

Nice to see them calling him Dvalin, not Stormterror

*running away from the researcher guy cause I don’t want to be forced into a conversation and he literally starts chasing when you get too close*

Oooooooh so when Neuvi said “Natlan is plagued by wars” waaay too many of us assumed wars between the humans, not wars vs the abyss.

So if someone who isn’t an Ancient Name Bearer makes it to the Night Warden Wars, does their name become an Ancient Name for future generations to potentially receive?

“Danger is the nature of war” Mualani says. But Kachina told us all ancient name bearers are required to compete - even kids like her. I can see how this mentality might have been manipulated by others to force Vennessa’s tribe into oppression.

Also what the fuck? Not sure I’m buying the whole “not a single Natlan person wants to leave” after hearing they force people to fight like this. Mondstadt (& Liyue to a lesser extent) continues to be the only nation I’d feel safe in. What the hell.

And yeah sure the archon can resurrect them. But like. That doesn’t fix the trauma. It’s still fucked up.

THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THE REVIVING

Citlali was introduced in the trailer by her strong insistence on not participating in the Pilgrimage. I can see why. I already like her.

This whole situation sounds like the recipe for burn out (literally too. Death).

Kinich cannot be older than 25. And he’s just casually stating he’s died before…

You people need therapy

Also what’s up with Ajaw? He’s such a bully. What the hell man.

I say that now but I assume his situation of “I am mighty and I will conquer the world!” (and everyone treating them like a kid) is like King from Owl House.

Though of course, I only started sympathizing with King from Owl House because of character development. Something that Genshin Impact rarely gives its playable characters.

Anyway, this whole “ancient names are forgotten if the bearers fail”. Is that a conscious effort to erase these people from records, or is it more like an Irminsul erasure?

“Feast until the bill gives the Archon a heart attack” finally, an archon with mora!

Kachina “I can’t keep using my age as an excuse”. If only Lisa or Alhaitham or Venti were here to teach her the importance of giving yourself grace and letting yourself rest.

“I have to prove I’m not trying to avoid the wars” babygirl you are 9 years old

Kachina you have a 7 or 8 Pilgrimage losing streak?! Do these things happen once a year? How young were you when you first participated…

Kachina always prepared with her backpack… she’s like Dora but with gifted kid issues…

All these other playable characters with their “trauma” from “near-death” experiences”. Try actually dying a few times; then you can cry PTSD!

But of course, being raised in the US, I recognize this is partly the influence of a very individualistic culture.

And about the whole revival thing. That’s Chekov’s Consequence-Free Traumatic Death Scene! Place your bets now; who’s gonna die in the archon quest, and then be revived?

So, what if someone with a (not pyro) vision wins the competition? Do they become pyro archon, overriding their previous elemental vision?

Does this mean Mavuika has 3 names: her regular name, her Goetic name, and her Ancient Name?

Is it possible for people without a vision to be gifted an Ancient Name?

Oh my god you send a team of FIVE to fight the entire abyss?!

So you CAN have a vision that doesn’t match your tribe’s element. Atea, of the Peoples of the Springs, has a pyro vision.

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verysickofthisshit · 2 years ago

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the way joel just completely dissociates in the hospital. he didn’t make a good or bad choice. he made a choice that barely felt like one at all. some of y’all love vastly different, because if that was my best friend or my little sister or my little brother i would’ve done the exact same as joel.

i hate seeing people ragging on joel for not letting his adoptive daughter get murdered for the possibility of a cure. was it the right thing to do? no, probably not, but there aren’t really right things to do in tlou period. i mean like troy baker said, joel did save the world, but ellie was the world and that’s it. also, ellie was too young to make that EXTREMELY important decision especially with her mental state. you’re telling me a teenager who has experienced a SHIT TON of trauma in the past fucking like year or less, not to mention continual trauma from just her life, with suicidal ideation and a savior complex is in the right mind to decide if she wants to be killed for the possibility of curating a cure? she’s fucking not!

also, joel is probably having several trauma responses. 1, a daughter dying, and 2, suicide!! whether or not ellie would have wanted it it’s either murder or suicide. she told him, “i’m glad that it didn’t work out,” about his suicide attempt. he said, “me too.” who fucking cares if joel is a fucking terrible person for what he did in the hospital? he’s a man and he’s a sad, sad man and he’s a father for the first time in twenty years. that was his babygirl and they were going to set her on a table and cut her up. love is violent and joel is filled with too much love to know what to do with it. like he said to tommy, “i did those things to keep us alive.”

he responded in the only way he knew how. there’s no world in which joel could have lived with himself knowing he let her die. he doesn’t care about the world. he cares about his world, and that was that babygirl.

#tlou hbo #tlou #joel miller

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princessbabygirlforever · 11 months ago

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An older trans woman once told me that she sits to pee, which occasionally results in her peeing on herself, because that’s how hard she’s worked to block out the fact that she’s still retained her original organ all of these years. That’s what girls do: we deal in affect–feelings, vibes, emotions, moods—to counteract dissonance. If you feel like a girl, you are a girl. Serving cunt is the law of assumption. Pussy-stunting is a mindset. Delusion is a lifestyle. And dissociation is effortless, unselfconscious, easy.

After white men, only white women and girls are afforded an unstudied ease, a universalizing, pedestalizing canvas-like blankness free of aesthetic assumptions, charged with authority and unburdened by race and gender. The rest of us are seen as open wounds. I used to try to fight how I am perceived by feigning a sense of aloofness, insouciance and smallness. I did so by tucking my hair behind my ear, wistfully, longingly staring off into the distance, dissociating from my body to temporarily transport to a place where I could write like a white girl.

I would conjure the white girl vibe instantaneously when I’d listen to music, especially if the music I am listening to is really loud, almost dulling my other senses and causing me to feel what can only be described as the opposite of embodied: void-like. There, I could exist as an empty, diaphanous vessel unfilled by anything at all. There’s no burden of “identity” in the club or the bedroom or the hammam or the garden or online as the avatar of your choosing–anywhere deemed a feminine space worth inhabiting. Online, especially, is where anyone can lay down their burdens—the thick coating of class and race, geography and gender–and escape the indignities of womanhood, blackness, otherness. No fat…no trauma…no spiritual heaviness…no intensity…only purity. A blank canvas no one can ascribe assumptions and project onto. You’re the default player in the game. A babygirl.

As a terminally concerned girl teeming with big, electrical emotions, presenting myself as an open wound–where the id is steering the ship despite societal expectations and pressures to the contrary to flatten and suppress– has never quite appealed to me because I know it doesn’t appeal much to anyone else. I think of myself in relation to others, in a sort of triangulation with the world. I don’t want to be a spectacle, if I can help it, because I know I already am, that there is an audience baked into my experience, mercilessly ascribing the same assumptions to me that they would someone engaging with hallucinations on a city bus. On a city bus, to witness someone mumbling to themselves, smiling exuberantly, screaming, singing terribly or sobbing loudly in public, is to have a front row seat to an undesired excess, intensity and earnestness. That person has unconsciously chosen to present themselves, to the subtly disciplinary gaze of surveilling strangers, like a spectacle to be gawked at. They’ve interrupted the homogenizing edicts of polite society in a manner considered vulnerable, neurotic, unusual, boundaryless, histrionic, unrefined, unserious, grotesque, eccentric, amoral, out of control, shameless and cringe-worthy. Their vivid displays of animatedness, too gauche for “normal” sensibilities, so we’d rather tuck them away like an unsightly pile of rags on the floor, undermining them like we do our own id in the company of others.

This image is commonly associated with the mentally ill and the homeless, whom the public bodies and perceptions of are heavily policed and politicized. States of animatedness, of excess, are also racialized and gendered. Femininity and blackness, its sincerest expressions, deemed maximalist, evidence of effort, and therefore, failure. Too much.

To transcend our animatedness, we must turn our disciplining gaze to ourselves, self-effacing to make space for whiteness and maleness, totally erase ourselves. This palimpsestic quality is achieved through minimalist attire (no garish, colorful clothes re: avant basic), eliminating girlish and black vocal tics, adapting middlebrow tastes, writing in 3rd person, muting one’s melanated state with black and white photography, aspirational thinness so there is less of you, and an attitude that communicates aloofness so severe that you don’t even care about yourself.

These attempts at minimization, of disciplining your public animated body, will allow you to enjoy a certain remove from the wider world. You’ll be cured, no longer teeming with niggerishness and schlepping the mantle of womanhood into every room you walk into for the rest of your life. You’ll be the babygirl again, who you were before you ever knew that you occupy a subordinate role in society, and before you were privy to the myths and ideologies that have been created around your image and identity.

Like a princess, your girlhood and daughterhood had a sense of prestige, making the fact of your consanguinity almost secondary, except as a matter of differentiation from the masses of non-princesses. There wasn’t yet a force larger than life requiring self-minimization as a necessary boon. You were presumed to be a pure, guileless blank canvas of a girl. You didn’t have to arm yourself with knowledge of that—or any truth—to feel a claim to safety and purity because the fact of it was informed by your singularity.

The babygirl, elegantly inert and slow, never had to run outside of the context of a freewheeling and uninterrupted playtime. She was never embarrassed into velocity. She never had to be strong or work hard. She’s never had to learn to self-preserve because her existence hadn’t called for that skill set. Self-preservation is the ministry of wounded girls. The babygirl has never been wounded.

The babygirl is light, buoyant with a feeling she belongs right where she is. She’s preternaturally interested and keenly aware, with an insatiable attention and curiosity for entertainment, her commodities, the objects in her bedroom. She prefers living in a rapt state, the romantic eye of her mind transporting her from her present surroundings and the inherent ennui of girlhood into her imagination.

The babygirl’s emotions don’t give the appearance of an overflowing volcano of lava curdling into evidence of effort and maintenance and failure and toxicity, clumps for other people to step over, ignore, forget, apply a disciplining gaze to. She is like the waves in the ocean crashing freely into each other, free to express the gamut of her emotions, whether sad, irritable, annoyed or enraged, without it sweeping up the rest of her image and identity until there’s nothing left of her but her feelings, in the unforgiving, cynical eyes of the strangers she will meet in the world who will, inevitably, only see animatedness.

What makes me a babygirl–and what unifies me with all the other babygirls online who’re so hotly debated and contested and disbelieved–is our sensitivity and an unrelenting over-identification with objects and other people. Babygirls are committed to the aesthetic reading and viewing of still images, films and the internet, which informs a girly canon of derealization ephemera not intended to be over-identified with: antiheroines, dreams, the moon, theory, book spines, social outcasts, fonts, hysterical and ribald women, “invalid” women who live in their beds, dolls, numbers, voids, the color pink, avatars on social media, God.

All that is ostensibly facile and self-explanatory, for the babygirl, is gleaned through persistent observation. The babygirl fills emptiness with a divine estuary from which an embodied and pillow-soft love audaciously converges with nature’s brutal architecture—pulsating alive with blood and flesh.

Being a babygirl is like the infinitude of the world contained in a pop song or the gaze of someone staring down the barrel of a gun; it stretches on and on forever. Anyone, then, who sees through people like they are vacant homes waiting to be occupied by her, who thinks they know others with the cultic conviction of a true believer, who is wildly and wholeheartedly alert, is a babygirl.

And I am Princess Babygirl.

I am novelty combined with appropriation like collage art, music sampling and recipes. My palimpsest quality is not an encryption of the self; but rather, an illuminating synthesis of my embodied experience. I have been the host to various narratives, epistemes, connections and dreams that I’ve neither fully abandoned nor refined. I’ve imprinted my affects and vibes forever–going on and on like the perfect pop song on repeat–so I can never be erased. Princess Babygirl is who I was before all of the sublimated tensions, marketplace competitions, traumas, vulnerabilities, anxieties, mimetic rivalries, delusions, dreams and violence of womanhood happened to me.

As Carl Jung foretold in his writings on the Age of Aquarius, human consciousness is moving toward a more feminine-centric paradigm. I want to represent the metamodern conditions of this moment in a blend of identity-critical autotheory and audiovisual stimuli exploring affects, aesthetics, taste, psychology, consumerism, the performance of womanhood and modern femininity.

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just-a-random-person24 · 10 months ago

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On a Rail episodes are next and I have SO much to say about those eps, those notes are gonna have more things to them but rn here's eps 15-22

Episode 15

“I last ate like, what? A day ago?” PLEASE EAT SOMETHING MY GUY

“Fucking hamdogs. That's racist.” He's worried about being racist to the literal aliens???

Casually picks up a shotgun off a dead security

“That is NOT a normal way to die!” The man violently ragdolled, that's definitely not normal

Episode 16

babygirl you've said fun 5 times too many

“I warned your kind what would happen if you jump me like that again.” I really don't think they can hear you

“A plain exposed door leading to where I need to be? Am I getting punked?” That door's always been there

“I wouldn't call 2 people a group.” What would you call them then?

“And by mental, I mean break down and cry.” I quote this way too much lmao

Episode 17

Logo change!!

Just, this whole beginning part. ‘Descent into madness schtick’

Just vent my man you need to </3

“The design for turning on the fan is balls.” It really is cause why is it under the fan blades??

“The amount of dead people in a single area may correlate to its significance. As dark as that may seem.” That is such a fucked up way at looking at it

“You know, I actually could go for a smoke right now.” Canonically smokes cigarettes (r.i.p man if the military doesn't get you)

“Now I have to look for scientists like they're lost 5 year olds. Fucking a.” He's a single mom 💔 (/j)

“They actually look pretty cute.” They're sleepy little puppy dogs ☹️

“Hopefully 2010 doesn't have me kickstarting the second apocalypse.” *que Half Life 2*

“But right now I am the judge, as well as jury, and executioner. With that in mind I hereby declare you all guilty!” He's losing it

Episode 18

“My autobiography isn't going to write itself.” THAT'S your biggest concern at the moment???

“Okay, fine, I'll do that. Since nobody would want to know what your condescending ass is here anyways.” YOU'RE BEING SUCH A DICK??

“I may not have the best sense of smell, but god this is rank.” ???

“I think they'd do well in the world of cinema.” For some reason I vaguely remember something about Mindrian wanting to be an actor or something. They should make a homemade movie together

“Jesus christ thats hot!” I hope fire is hot!

Episode 19

“I was originally gonna say that the guy who designed this ladder in particular should be fired. But that's a bit on the nose.” *ba dum tss*

“Guess I'm going the way of the radioactive road. Or the Seabird Street. The Transiuratic Turnpike. The Breckwell Boulevard.” I'm not putting all that bit here but you are saying a lot of things I do not understand (I also know I probably misspelled something)

“The n in fun stands for nuclear.” ??? that is not a saying my man

“That's uh… okay.” Again I just like the delivery he just, sounds small? you know?? Like shrinking down on yourself (I'm gonna shut up now)

Episode 20

“What are these? Cameras?” I have no clue what cameras you've seen but they do not look like cameras

“‘No smoking’? Thanks, I don't need any stress relief right now.” he's, such a dork sometimes

“Shame there's no rocket engine though.” I really don't think fire is effective against fire here

“Intruder spotter. *shoot* And subsequently eliminated.” God I hate him <3

“If you're really trying to kill me then try harder!” Don't hold your breath!

“I'm not taking your guns though, cause of blood and other bodily fluids.” But, the ammo that was also covered in that stuff is fine??

Episode 21

Give his ass a map please

I'm… not even going to attempt transcribing what he just said, boy I get it YOU'RE A SCIENTIST GOD DAMN

“Trauma doesn't have a beneficial impact on the human mind as far as I'm concerned.” Give him a therapist too, and a map

“Maybe I can stack dead aliens and use them as a ladder.” That's your first idea???

“Maintenance and pest control? I don't get paid nearly enough for this!” Well, you would if you didn't take a $150 bribe

Episode 22

“That's just a theory though.” A GAME- 💥 (The immediate explosion after makes me absolutely love this line cause man)

“I may have killed myself a while ago.” HEY?? 💔

“Anything to take down ‘The Free Man’ I suppose.” I cannot with him

“ Cut the bravado, you're not fooling anyone! It's just ME! I can HELP you! So either LISTEN TO ME, OR YOU'RE GOING TO-... going to… god damn it.” Anion when I fucking get you god damn

“I can't let you die. I won't let anyone else die, not again. Not now. Not ever. Please, listen to me.” ANION WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU

He ran for 5 seconds and he ran out of breath, fucking Alan Wake ass stamina

“TAKE IT ALL AND DIE!” oh my god

I don't know how to explain it, but there's like. A shift this episode? I don't know, this one and the On a Rail eps feel so different from the other episodes (in a good way)

The immediate laughter after killing something??? good for him

“The first act ends with not a climactic victory, but a somber progression.” God let him be happy

#stark's mind #mindverse #im so tired #I HAVE 10 EPISODES LEFT

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sleepy-shutin · 1 year ago

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one thing i keep thinking about the more i get out of my isolation and actually start doing things is the fact that i actually like want to have hobbies now. like for fun. before i didn't really do much other than draw, write, watch youtube videos, play video games and scroll through social media. i didn't really do much of anything. now that i have a job and i actually am living my life now, i want to actually have hobbies and it's probably related to wanting to better myself and like get better and move on from the horrible 9 years i spent my life, but like it's genuinely weird to me. i want to have hobbies. i don't always have the energy for them, but i want to do things now. amazing, how having control over your life and doing the things that make you happy and being able to get out of the house like makes you want to be alive and stuff.

like, you know how during covid people started doing things like baking and spending time with their families and all that jazz for like a couple of weeks or months, and then after that everyone started going crazy with isolation and fear and mental health problems? it was like that but stretched over 9 years where at first i wanted to do things, and then i got stuck for several years until towards the end when i was finally allowed to get a job. lol. and even almost 2 years in i still feel like i'm still 'settling' into it, but like i'm getting to the point where i actually want to do things with my life and i want to figure out how to put the things i want to do with my life into my life every once in a while.

and one thing about my insane trauma is that it has made me completely and utterly normal about serizawa katsuya from mob psycho, like jesus christ. there has not been a person normaler about this man than me. i know exactly how he feels about most things and nobody talks about how the isolation affects you and how you become after that many years out of contact with most people and not doing anything. this is the only character that i have ever seen in my entire existence on the internet that has this kind of experience that i also had. having a relatively normal life (don't ask me to define normal), then all of it implodes and suddenly things are different for many years and you don't leave the house or talk to people or do anything. ever. for a long, long time.

and then you come out of it and you're in the same town you grew up in but things are different now and you're a weirdo that nobody remembers because you didn't really leave the house for 9 years, but people at your job are nice to you and treat you mostly normal anyway which is nice.

i don't even know what's gotten into me tonight, i'm just like all over the place and i feel insane and i just feel like publicly journaling about it instead of not journaling about it privately. i haven't journaled about anything properly in months, but it's fine because i'm doing it now i guess.

anyways. tldr, forget reigen. serizawa is my babygirl. i do not have any trauma and i'm very fine and normal.

#journal tag

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giddlygoat · 2 years ago

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tbh i did not know who cyrus borg is nor have i ever interacted with the ninjago fandom but i am obsessed about him. blorbo via osmosis.

anyways if you have any headcanons about him i would like to hear them :3c

cyrus borg my beloved blorbo babygirl <3

thank you for asking about this man. he is like a chew toy for my brain. hold onto your butt bc it’s 2 am as of writing this and that’s when all the big brained stuff happens

in his mid/late thirties and slaying <3 he started his tech business at about 17 and now he’s got a crazy monopoly on like half the city but it’s okay bc he’s a kind philanthropist and actually treats his employees like human beings so no one cares that he’s effectively one of the most powerful men in the city lmao

i see cyrus as autistic and adhd tbh. the way he gets so hyper focused on his work that he literally does not perceive anything else around him is a bit too relatable, and he strikes me as a very brilliant man who simply does not retain information unimportant to his interests. he could tell you the precise components of the most advanced computers and explain their relationships with one another, but hell if he knows who the president is. you’re lucky if he even remembers what day it is. this man constantly uses reminders and alarms for sure.

he’s on the aroace spectrum i think. i’m not exactly sure how but he just gives me those vibes.

also transmasc swag tbh?? i think i’ve seen that hc around and it goes hard

hear me out. cyrus listens to rap. this is based on absolutely nothing at all i just know it with my very being. he likes stuff with fast, predictable and heavy beats. would totally blast shit like masquerade by siouxxie sixxsta at full volume in his office. it helps him get in the zone. idk what to tell you man [<- 100% projection]

cyrus is like. absolutely fascinated by zane. he admires dr julien’s work so much and wants to study zane under a microscope. as he gets to know zane better personally though, i think he would realize that he has been looking at things through the lense of an engineer for so long that he forgot zane was just like his human family. it’s not that he ever viewed zane as simply a machine, quite the opposite - he fully acknowledged that dr julien had created a full person, and an incredible one at that - but cyrus still has to remind himself that people don’t like being poked and prodded. [the moment he makes the mental connection between zane getting put on an examination table and himself getting operated on by the overlord against his will, he realizes the error in his line of thinking]

oh yeah. the trauma! yeah cyrus might be just a little bit majorly fucked up over the overlord thing. the overlord did amputate his right arm after all, which leaves him with only one fully functioning limb. he still has nightmares about it. getting used to a prosthetic arm wouldn’t have been such a hurdle if the overlord had put any sort of thought or care into the operation, but it left him severely scarred up and just fucked in general. however! as the years pass he becomes pretty much fully accustomed to his situation and doesn’t let it inhibit his creative passions.

also when zane died in s3 cyrus was super broken up about it and blamed himself for it in part. then, not days later his daughter disappeared for reasons he would not understand until like a year later, which totally messed him up. he inevitably threw himself into his work in an effort to not feel anything. he didn’t take very good care of himself during this time. when zane returned from chen’s island, he let pixal explain everything to cyrus, who was just glad they were alive, but the whole situation took a really long time to get over.

when he’s hyper focused he forgets to eat/sleep etc and can run on fumes for hours before his body suddenly becomes a wet paper towel in a parking lot at 3 am and he has to konk out at his desk. thankfully he has people looking out for him, and he’s slowly getting better about it, but once he gets started sometimes the only way to stop is by brute force.

i absolutely love @alanshee’s amazing cyrus headcanons, so you should totally go check out her takes. she has some really cool headcanons about his 16 robot children [in reference to a line where cyrus mentioned pixal was the 16th iteration, i believe] and they always make me smile so big. a lot of my headcanons are inspired by her stuff!

[sorry for the late ass reply it’s been a crazy week and then i forgot rip but thank you sm for the ask!!!]

#asks #cyrus borg #ninjago #headcanons and theories

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blueiight · 2 years ago

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tbh i think claudia dependence is def a thing ppl have a hard time letting go of from the books and is not really a thing from the show? i think your take is probably realistic in that like yes material worries are things i would personally think about but the show def lets the audience know she can and she will live on her own even in rough conditions (that's how she grew up after all). they wouldn't have had her leave twice otherwise w/o any concern for her material comfort. its not like she came back home cause she was like missing luxuries or anything, and later she's sitting in the stinky storage compartment of the train in 1x06 but she's absolutely delighted even in that squalid train car. the danger of other vampires is also not a consideration on HER part when she leaves the second time, its lestat who uses bruce to threaten her but her view is i'll take my chances out there over staying.

i know in her mortal life claudia came from a true level of poverty and disempowernment that neither lestat nor louis ever had to deal with as mortal men. indeed, book claudia couldnt even pretend to be at a teenager or leave the townhouse in a way show claudia did, but the attempts of claudia in her individual departures in 1x05 and 1x06 go the way they did to show the unique disempowernment claudia has been placed in as a teenage vampire. too young to be a coven master, too old to be a total babygirl archetype. still the babydoll: the weird brothers and their doll like sister as the town regards them. no hair down there. prepubescent forever, even as she ages. im not saying claudia is some prissy princess or desires a certain quality of living, what claudia desires is a true companionship in immortality (another parallel to lestat?) but the show has proposed claudia’s dilemma — little boys or old creeps for 50 years? who is her lestat, who is her louis? where does she fit into this paradigm of maker fledgling murderer lover teacher student? has she been cast out of it entirely? when claudia came back to the townhouse, her motive was bc of the trauma of being assaulted & seeking an environment she was more familiar with. before she went back to the townhouse she followed louis to his final encounter with grace, and came to the conclusion in her internal dialogue that she believed lestat and louis as her companions, and that lestat made her to be louis’s sister. of course, the end of 1x05 happens, claudia helps louis recover, and that cord she had with lestat is frayed if not completely broken. claudia herself is in a different frame of mind when she leaves louis on the bench, and she views her departure to europe as temporary. she even says to louis call me (mental phone dials? lol) if you need me or something to that affect im paraphrasing. speculating on how claudia’s individual departure to europe couldve gone is a fun thought exercise but canonly, lestat stopped her, and her third attempt at escape was predicated on killing lestat with louis. now come, find vampires worthy of your love?

#yn.#yn answers #iwtv #claudia

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cookies-and-mirrors · 8 months ago

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Prison of Stone and Flesh

Chapter Eight

This is a collaborative fic between @cookiesupplier and @faceless-mirror.

Dividers by @samspenandsword

Pairings: Chris x transfem!Vinny, Justin x transmasc!Ricky, Chris x Justin x Ryan, Chris x transmasc!Ricky, Ryan x ONBC, Ryan x transfem!Vinny, Ryan x transmasc!Ricky, Justin x transfem!Vinny

Triggerlist: transphobia, homophobia, abuse, SA, dubcon, religious trauma, past suicide attempts, mental health issues, grief. (To be added to)

Now, Ricky and Vinny are moving into their church, stirring up old and new feelings, along with the past, posing the challenge of navigating this new chapter in their lives.

MASTERLIST HERE

Taglist: @embracethereaper42 @21-century-tae @dragon-chica @shilohrosechicken @phxntxsmicgoricxl

@missduffsblog @witchyweeb34 @spicywhenspeaking @lacktoesandtoddlerants @blackveilomens

@bngurngheart @dominuslunae @collapsedglasshouses @embracethereaper42 @emmmm127

@sunsshinesunny @latenightmusiclover @dontdiganothergravetoday

(please comment/reblog/message to be added to taglist)

Chapter Eight

Christopher had watched Vinny make the smoothie, confident enough in the fact that she knew, and made what she did, that he didn’t even need to question what she was making. Anyone else, and he would have wondered about that yogurt, he would have wondered and questioned whether it was vegan. Instead, she was guiding him over to a pri- oh. Oh. “Vinny, are you sure we should be sitting there? Isn’t that the confessional?” Christopher had not been in confession for a long time. Not officially anyway. He was dolled his penance daily, forced into stone, strangled of his life and breath in a way no mortal would ever understand. Experiencing their sleep was so refreshing compared. God had been so merciful compared to the way they had been created.

Jerahmiel had truly been right, they were the lesser creatures. The mortals seeing them as mere decorations was, not as much, a surprise sometimes, even one could argue they were a far more mighty tool in the war against evil.

“I mean… there's no better place. It means we can't take it out of here. Right? Just because this used to be a church doesn't mean we don't offer a safe place to talk about your life… what's bothering you… to grieve… to love… and to find safety, even if you don't think you need it.” Vinny said, sitting down and holding his hand, offering him the smoothie. “I used almond yogurt,” she explained warmly.

The gargoyle’s expression was soft as he regarded the mortal at her mention of not being able to take it out of here, not being able to take matters from the confessional, right. “BabyGirl, I don’t think that’s quite how it works without a priest involved, but nice try, I will however, accept the premise for the moment, with your intention of a… safe space.” The endearment slipped from him without even a thought, accepting his drink as he slid into place, folding his long legs under the small table. It was a cozy little booth considering the confessionals were never made to be very spacious, something the gargoyles knew all too very well.

Smiling at her mention of almond yogurt, “I didn’t think to question it.” Taking a sip and sighing at the citrusy flavour bursting on his tongue, he loved it. It took all his control not to glance back to the bar, back to the platform behind it, his fingers tight around the cup. “I trust you.”

She smiled softly, reaching up to pet his cheek. “Would you believe me if I told you that technically I am ordained? I got ordained before I came out, and I’ve officiated a wedding? I'm the closest you're going to get.” She teased gently, turning to face him and laid her legs over his lap to keep him still as she grinned. “Now… why don't you tell me what's going on?”

She was trying to ignore the fact that Chris had called her babygirl. As hard as it was.

Sitting down like this, made it easier for her to reach him, Christopher’s cheeks warming at the way she reached up and pet his face like that. No, she wasn’t the closest he was going to get considering he was literally covered in holy markings, and he could bless holy water and create all manner of holy weaponry as he needed them to fight against demons. But she was not to know that. If she needed to confess anything, here, now, he could take her confession and absolve her sins, probably better than any mortal priest, not that he’d ever thought of himself in such a manner. Christopher would never compare himself to the holy men of god that the angels considered blessed, because the mortals were at least worthy of protections, the gargoyles, they were, tools, to be used to cast aside. Christopher knew what he was. A monster, a thing, just a pawn to be used as they saw fit. He did his duty and would never give them cause for doubting him.

“What’s going on? Whatever do you mean?” Christopher paused, curious as to what she was looking for, sitting straight, still, he knew, it was the platform, it was his reaction to the platform.

“What's on your mind? Let me be your shoulder to lean on, Chris, I want to help give you peace of mind.” She whispered, her legs tensing to pull him closer temporarily. Like a hug. “Sometimes you just need an outside ear.”

He swallowed, heavily, his eyes glancing away from her, dancing around not settling on any one thing in this small space, but it wasn’t like he had anything really but her to focus on as she pulled him closer. Being so close to her was both intoxicating, and suffocating, and he couldn’t resist either if he was honest, he wanted to be more. He would lean in and let her wrap around him and choke every tiny breath from his lungs so he could have this moment. “I lose people, Vinny. Aside from Justin, Ryan, everyone I have ever cared for, everyone I have ever loved, I have lost, and every time, it’s like carving out a piece of my soul.”

Vinny sighed softly, “well… I don't intend on, going anywhere… let's start by talking about how you feel about the fact it's only the three of you… what happened? You don't have to be specific…” she murmured, taking his hand to hold it, giving it a gentle, supportive squeeze. “This is a safe place to talk and discuss what's bothering you. If you need to cry, you can, I'll hold you. If you need to scream… that's okay too.”

Christopher couldn’t look at her as she talked, and he felt horrible, the pit in his stomach was like a violent twisted-up knot as Vinny spoke of not going anywhere. Vinny had no clue on what she was saying, what, what she… “None of them have any intentions of ever going anywhere, BabyGirl, none of them ever have, but they always do.” He sighed heavily. His eyes closed as his let his senses on the noise in the bar diminish to white noise as best he could.

“I used to come here, when this was a Church proper. Even when it was abandoned.” It was then he brought his eyes back to Vinny. Smiling slightly, “It’s how we knew how to get in the back way, of course.” Sighing, it was the best way he could think of to explain it, it was something at least. “I prayed for them, every day, every last one, they died, one after the other, taken from us, our family, till we were all that was left. I don’t know how to feel about it just being us, it is just, us. What other way do we have. No one came back for us, not until Ricky and you showed up.”

She listened to him closely, eyes gentle as she watched him, petting his knuckles gently. “Well… I’m guessing you… suffered a lot. Death isn't easy. It’s hard to accept sometimes. Even harder to work through It. With how much you seem to have gone through… I’m assuming it was just… easier to ignore…” she sighed, “so dealing with it all at once… is awful.”

The way she was stroking his fingers was making him breathless, his eyes drawn down to their hands together in the snug little booth setting, for a second there, Christopher didn’t think he could breathe. His eyes lifting to look at Vinny, but it wasn’t Vinny he was seeing, was it? No, her beautiful dress, was replaced by the same military garb that Christopher wore, those red streaks in her hair faded back to the brown like the rest, her curls as beautiful as ever. The bright vibrant green eyes staring back at him, and Christopher, he, he couldn’t.. He felt his eyes sting, closing them to try to block it out, he couldn’t, he had to focus.

Vinny didn’t understand, she couldn’t. “I have my duty, I have my responsibilities, my work. I can’t just-” Swallowing shakily, Christopher unknowingly grasped one of her hands tightly. “If I give in, I fear I won’t be able to come back.”

“Talking about it… doesn’t mean you’re going to be lost in it. You just need someone to help you through it, Chris. You deserve that comfort, even if you don't think you do. You definitely deserve comfort and love… grief is natural. But you need to be ready to let others in to support you. I’ll be here for you no matter the time of day.” She promised, stroking his hand softly, squeezing it a moment. “Who do you miss most…? Tell me about them?” She urged gently, brown and red curls framing her eyes that were tender and understanding.

Talk about it. Talk about it. As if it were that easy. He couldn’t just talk about it. Ryan, Justin, they were the only ones that might understand, and putting this on them would be cruel. Besides, there were some things the other gargoyles couldn’t understand, might never understand. Christopher honestly prayed to god, that they never would, because he wanted neither of them to ever understand this pain. That was when she asked a fateful question.

Who did he miss most? Tell her about them. If he thought he was going to have trouble breathing before, his eyes went wide as he stared at her then, and his eyes didn’t just sting with the tears, but his vision completely blurred as he looked away. Gulping as he forced himself to take air into his lungs. Vinny… Chenza… Vin… she… he…

“I can’t- she- she was-” He swallowed again, his hand now holding Vinny’s with surprising delicacy, despite the panic that was consuming him, the other gripping the side of the table so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

Vinny didn't hesitate, wrapping her arms around him. “It's okay. Let it out. Just let it out.” she whispered gently, stroking his hair as she held him closer, pulling him to her chest, letting him hear her beating heart. “Just let it out.” She whispered, playing with his hair gently. Soothing him and pacifying him best she could. Or, at least, she hoped to.

“I… had someone I fell in love with… and.. they died too. I haven't been the same… but… I understand the grief.” She whispered, “he got killed keeping me safe.”

No, no, he couldn’t, the moment Vinny’s arms wrapped around him, his struggle to hold himself together became a losing battle. The tears swimming in his eyes were turning into sobs as he turned his face into her shoulder. His long black hair so loosely tied back to patrol, her playing with it had it falling down his back. He remembered the night Chenza died, how Jerahmiel had berated him for leaving her behind alone at the Church, unprotected, while the rest of the unit was on patrol. Yes, Jerahmiel had been there, but he’d been no match against the humans and hellhounds that the demons had sent into the Church to attack and kill her. Killing his mate, the leader of their unit's mate, weakening him, along with destroying two unborn gargoyles.

Hearing Vinny’s talk about her love made it all the more worse. That even she had felt that sting of loss, that pain of death.. He couldn’t save her from it any more than he could save his Chenza. Vinny was just as broken as he was. Sometimes he wondered what use was this world worth saving. Why were the angels so adamant that they keep fighting, keep protecting a world full of so much darkness, so much hate and evil that they’d slaughter each other. He could talk of the demons, and the other supernatural evils, but the mortals could be just as toxic. Vinny, was a shining light, a beautiful soul, but she was one of so few.. And it pained him to know she hurt just as much.

Lifting his head from her shoulder, his tears slowing, though his eyes swimming still as he looked at Vinny, “You, you remind me so much of her. Your kindness, the gentle way you’ve sat here and poked me until you’ve gotten me to cave.” Chuckling slightly, sadly.. “She was so forthright like that, willing to push to help, making sure to do what was right.” Smiling almost, “The most beautiful soul, she could make almost anyone smile, and go out of her way for others.. But most of all..”

Christopher sighed as he looked at Vinny, “She was authentic, true to herself in every way, just like you.”

Not a word was spoken as the smaller listened intently, hanging off every word he offered, committing it to memory. She listened… heard him out. She couldn't help but smile softly. “I’m sure she wouldn't want you to hide your feelings and lock yourself away. I know I wouldn't want that… thank you for trusting me.” She whispered, holding him closer, and kissed his forehead. “I'm happy I can remind you of her. Is that why the platform also got to you?” She asked gently, “I can have it moved…”

The fact that Vinny wasn’t entirely disturbed by him comparing this woman to her, this woman whom she’d compared to someone she’d fallen in love with. This woman whom he’d immediately gone to when she asked about who he missed the most out of those whom he’d lost, of those he was grieving. It was intense to say the least, and she was not only still comforting him, but not gently letting him go, and went so far to show him a tender intimate affection. The offer… “Please don’t.” He pleaded softly. “I’d hate to have it disappear. I used to, I used to go to it to talk to her before, it made, it felt like she was still, still here.”

She wasn’t though. Chenza was gone, his Chenza had been lost that night, and, and her babies.

She hummed softly, petting his cheek, tracing his cheek bone fondly. “Then… before the shop opens… come in. I'll let you place the flowers on the platform, and we change them daily. The flowers get distributed out to the other platforms from that one.” She offered, brushing a lock back from his face with a soft smile.

“You can mourn her. This is a safe place for happiness… grief… and healing. Okay? That's what coffee shops and bars are for. Easing worries.”

Christopher couldn’t help smiling softly at the thought, he liked that idea, and it felt just like Chenza, to want to be the one to bring light to the others. She would go out of her way to do things, just little things, to make others days better, even if it were ridiculous moments when they were out on patrol. He hated sometimes having to call her up on it, and she’d roll him for it later, having to go all commander on her. Did not help on single iota that she claimed every time that it just turned her on, so it was not helpful at all. Still, he was her commander, and he did have to give her a reprimand when she went too far… Had. Had been, her commander.

Easing worries, without thinking, Christopher sighed and leaned forward in the tiny space and pressed his lips ever so lightly against her skin, almost to her cheek, just off from the side of her lips.. But not touching her mouth. “Thank you, thank you, Vinny.” His words quiet, but then, before he pulled back, leaning his forehead gently against Vinny’s for a moment. A whisper of words, an angel blessing to watch over her, the enochian falling from his lips, he didn’t want to lose her too. They’d failed him so far, but, if he worked hard enough, he could make sure the blessing stuck.

She blushed at the kiss but closed her eyes, relaxing into it, her arms around his shoulders. Savoring the moment, she looked up at him sweetly, confused at the words but smiled at him.

As he sat back he sighed, wiping at his cheeks gently, “I shouldn’t keep you, you’ll be up early, won’t you? I don’t want to ruin your sleep.”

She blinked a few times, “I suppose you're right. But… if you ever need me… come see me?” She asked, petting his cheek one more time, savoring the feeling of his skin. “Any time at all.” She assured, slowly moving to stand, though it was easy to see she didn't want to.

Christopher swallowed, pausing before he eased his long legs out to stand with her, smiling to her, already missing the feel of her touch, not wanting to go back to the hustle and bustle of the bar. The chaos of reality, and wishing to selfishly keep her cloistered in the tiny booth of the confessional for the rest of the night. She however was mortal, staying up all night, was not healthy for her, and she’d already been up all day. The need for sleep was important. He knew that much, unlike him, she didn’t have the luxury of being imprisoned in stone to rejuvenate her body. “I may take you up on that, as it is, tomorrow, I think I’ll get to be here a little bit more.” He’d patrolled the last two nights. Tomorrow, Justin and Ryan would take the shift together.

Vinny smiled at him and gently took his hand in hers, squeezing lightly. “You're far from alone… I’m right here… and your friends are too… of that I’m sure.” She whispered before standing on her tiptoes to press her lips to his cheek, close to his lips as close as she could.

“Good night, Chris. I'll see you in the morning for the flowers.”

It was taking every ounce of his control not to turn his head just that little bit, and steal a kiss, just a little kiss, a press of his lips to hers with how close her lips pressed to his. Christopher could feel his skin tingle, from her touch, like how he imagined it might feel to have the sun on his skin sometimes, if he could ever feel the sun on his skin at all. He couldn’t, but a man could imagine now, couldn’t he?

Nodding slightly, not trusting his voice otherwise, still, he had to let her go, and he had to make sure Justin and Ryan were making complete fools of themselves somehow. Justin more than Ryan really, Ryan was usually pretty reasonable, unless then there was an angel about, and then there was no telling what that man would do. Swallowing, he regained himself enough for at least a little, “Goodnight Vinny.”

Vinny slipped away upstairs with a small but happy yawn, slipping into pajamas and laying down to rest, eyes heavy as she fell into slumber.

Ricky was just wiping down the bar now, the last surge of the night leaving, full of laughter and camaraderie, leaving Justin and Ryan remaining. Christopher glanced towards the bar, seeing Ricky flirting with the pair of gargoyles playfully mixing the final drinks for the night, placing each one on a coaster with a wink to the pair playfully. His eyes narrowed as he watched the bartender walking around the bar, hands ghosting over the pair temptingly. That, was curious.

Curious and dangerous. Remind him not to get on Ricky’s bad side, because despite all the problems that he’d had to handle, he was not that much of an idiot, thank you. No, he just had to babysit two of them sometimes. Speaking low, so Ryan and Justin could hear, “Don’t forget the dawn, and you’re both on patrol tomorrow night.”

With that, he headed upstairs, pausing, before using the main staircase that used to be in the open area of the Church. It was so strange to him, was so used to having to go outside and around the building to use the back entrance to the rectory, but Vinny had assured him this would be fine. Did Ricky know? He seemed to have taken to Ryan and Justin, though. It was as he was stepping into the rectory, he got a tingle down his spine, he felt the echos of magic in the room.

That wasn’t good. Especially when he saw the envelope sitting on the pillow of his bed. Not Ryan’s, or Justin’s, but his. They knew where he slept when he got the chance, which he was just about to, nap, so he was bright, and awake for Vinny in the morning for the flowers… Christopher didn’t want to read it, whatever it was they’d sent him, but he had to, had it not only been weeks ago he’d been mentally begging for help? Now, it was the last thing he wanted, the closer they got to the mortals, the more dangerous. Picking up the envelope, he flipped it open and slid out the card, the script was fanciful, and annoying, but that was the angels.

Christopher stared at the writing on the card and groaned, this was the worst possible outcome. A new handler would destroy everything.

The request for a new handler has been granted.

Expect them within the month.

“Fuck.”

#chris motionless #ryan sitkowski #justin morrow #miw fanfic #vinny mauro #chenzo mauro #ricky olson #ricky horror #chris cerulli #miw band #miw #fanfiction #angels #gargoyles #band fic #monster fic #motionless in white

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richardazer · 2 years ago

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im not sure if youve done this already but can we get some GazPrice headcannons? (with Fin the SD ofc)

OMG OMG YES!!!

Warning before I start the madness, I don't have much headcanon about the actual game world, I do not like military shit so everything I have is off duty or my AUs

Also I've never done this before, my ideas aren't really coherent but I hope I can satisfy with what I have :3

First lets start with the Fin time-line:

For those who haven't seen I've posted art of Gaz, Price and John's service dog Fin.

HCs:

Gaz went into the job expecting not to make it, he was prepared to be damaged, either physically or mentally so he took really good care of himself

Price was the opposite, he thought he was strong and untouchable but with each dead comrade his mind began taking a lot of damage

I like making strong men pathetic and weak so that was the reason Gaz caught Price's eye. Price noticed a sturdy, strong, safe oasis in the middle of battlefield, that's why he was drawn to him and Gaz quickly became his favorite because he wanted to make the world a better place and was ready to change the world with his own hands

Obviously after working for so long they got closer and closer and Gaz couldn't NOT fall for soft papa bear that Price turned out to be off duty hehhe

Kyle single handedly dragged him into therapy because he was the only one who saw how much weight and damage John was carrying on his shoulders

Obviously with so much support work became easier to handle but years of trauma aren't going to go away and Kyle can't be the only one to take care of the old man lol

Fin was recommended by Price's therapist and she is his helper on base

Off duty Price gets to let go and not be ashamed of ptsd because he has people who will help and support him through it, just like he supported them for all these years

I think at some point Price would be permanently moved to base because he's no longer fitted for the battlefield

(you can clearly see I have 0 idea of how military works nor do I know the game's lore lol)

Fin is there to guide him in the buildings, lead him to quiet places when he's stressed, remind him to take breaks (Price is a workaholic). I don't know much about ptsd dogs so Fin headcanons need me to do a lot of research before even attempting to write them down. (I'm so sorry there's not much for Fin 😭)

As for personalities or little silly ideas:

John is a big softie who tries so hard to fit in and be a dad to everyone, got his piercings during his relationship with Gaz (cried when getting his helix) he's always trying to be on the same wave as Gaz and ends up learning so much internet slang because of it, never uses it properly on purpose to make Kyle laugh his ass off. Gaz makes him learn kpop dances (Gaz and Ghost are very big twice fans shhh)

Gaz is very much stuck being a boy. He's very serious when needed to be but the rest of the time he's a silly goofy spoiled babygirl. Got his piercings right after getting into 141 as celebration, hid them from Price and Laswell very well for 2 months and then forgot to change them to silicone studs one day and got caught. Soap is his buddy and they run around pranking people and constantly compete with each other on who can burp the loudest

They love talking care of each other and Kyle is especially in love with captain's beard so when they have time they let themselves groom each other like cats, aka Gaz takes good care of John's beard using a brush and oils and giving the man a massage. In return Price takes care of Kyle's body, his rough strong careful hands are perfect for giving the younger man a proper relaxing massage

Gaz's teasing nature really blooms with Price because he knows that he can get away with so much. Throwing a joke or flirting here and there or just straight up touching Price has only good consequences for Kyle. Price adores him to no end and always asks for his view on almost any situation. John is all ears all the time because he loves his voice and genuinely wants to know what Gaz is thinking about. Even picking ice-cream flavors or a movie to watch becomes a very deep philosophical dialog

They don't tend to argue, even during missions it's aggressive dialogs instead of fighting. Gaz knows Price is the captain and he has so much more hand on experience and Price knows that Gaz would have a fresher, modern, more flexible view on the situation. Gaz is very observant and Price is constantly amazed at his ability to see the whole picture

More interesting headcanons from my chainsaw man AU if yall interested:

Gaz is a hunter/hunt devil because only humans hunt for fun and people are terrified of getting hunted >:3

Price (a human) literally saw him, said "you're pretty cool" and YOINKED him from the fucking government

In the AU the government catches all devils it can to study or use as weapons and since other countries started using devils in battles and just regular humans get into deals with devils to cause terror the government created special forces

141 is a test group lead by John Price and has a lot of powerful devils

Gaz has Makima eyes because I said so they're cool and glow in the dark

His abilities include: night/heat vision, hearing heartbeats and obviously inhuman strength and speed he's the hunt devil after all tracking down pray is so easy

He and Price have a deal no one knows about because all deals with devils must be approved by the government

The deal is that if Price dies so does Gaz so they can be together in hell (this man doesn't know chainsaw man lore either what did you expect lol)

What Price doesn't know is that Gaz spends more time protecting him than completing assignments hehhe

Fun bonus is dumb tiktok audio idea:

- you can hear heartbeats?

- can hear yours too, beating pretty fast~

GAY GAY GAY

alright madness over thanks for reading hope you enjoyed :]

#my art brr #my headcanons #Attempt at writing HCs down #Chainsaw man AU #call of duty hc #gazprice #gaz x price #gay gay homosexual gay #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #john price #call of duty #Headcanons

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