#baby tiddly-winks

[heckyeahponyscans]

G1 My Little Pony comic #22 - A Sunny Day in Pony Land

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

Schmitty: Hey, how about those toys called “My Little Pony”, huh? They came in different colours, and had those precious little names? [beat] It belonged to my sister! Okay!?

[beat]

Schmitty: Shetland is the smallest breed of pony. Princess Taffeta. That’s gotta be the stupidest name, ever! [quietly] Isn’t that right, Baby Tiddly Winks? [pause] I said it belongs to my sister!

Note: Baby Tiddly Winks is real! This is a photo of her doll:

[cooltf2facts]

Nicknames of baseball player

Nicknames Scout has had over the years:

- Anklebiter

- Bastard

- Gremlin

- Little Man

- Mama’s Boy

- Tiddly Winks

- Tiny Tim

- Otter

- Creature

- Jer-Bear

- Baby Boy

[yanchamisc]

My Little Pony TV Baby Tiddly Winks turn around model sheet.

Full download available here:

[sweetberryponies]

Combo Episode

Episode 14 of the Rump Design Games is a special two for one deal, featuring the year 3 playset ponies and the 2 other releases that otherwise wouldn't fit anywhere else. Joined again by my beplagued cohost Pony Flickerman, here's hoping it doesn't die before morning.

Exempt from this year's rankings are the Sea Ponies (Sea Breeze, Whitecap, Sea Mist, Wave Jumper, Sand Dollar, and High Tide), the baby ponies that came in the Play and Care sets including their European exclusives (Baby Firefly, Baby Surprise, Baby Blossom, Baby Cotton Candy, Baby Glory, Baby Moondancer, Baby Applejack, Baby Bow Tie, and Baby Lemon Drop), the Baby Sea Ponies (Sea Star, Sea Shimmer, Backstroke, Tiny Bubbles, Splasher, and Surf Rider), and the mail order birthflower ponies.

Baby Cuddles (aka Chocalinho/Kissy) Spirit of the Pony: 1/5 Does the Palette Fuck: 4/5 Ugliness: 5/5

Is she just supposed to grow up and always have a rattle on her ass? That's a curse. I get the baby part but not the cuddles part. Anyways, she came with the Baby Buggy and. That's about all I've got to say about her.

Baby Tiddley-Winks (aka Tiddley Winks/Tiddly-Winks Spirit of the Pony: 1/5 Does the Palette Fuck: 5/5 Ugliness: 4/5

Tiddley-Winks here came with the Lullabye Nursery. Again, it sure evokes baby, but it doesn't evoke much else. Her playset doesn't matter here if I can't see it in her ass, why is her Rump Design just a bib. Pony Flickerman is sobbing over how she's just a dumb baby with a dumb name and I could not agree more. I wish I could dock points for child labour.

Sundance Spirit of the Pony: 1/5 Does the Palette Fuck: 5/5 Ugliness: 4.5/5

Pony Flickerman: What is that ass, honey. So to say that Sundance doesn't evoke suns or dancing is an understatement. Sundance came as a release with the movie with the human character Megan and despite how terrifying she is, this isn't about her. Why her Rump Design looks like it belongs on a carpet is a mystery to be sure.

Ember Spirit of the Pony: 2/5 Does the Palette Fuck: 5/5 Ugliness: 3/5

I can get "ember" as a stretch of how stars are on fire but I am still thoroughly confused. It looks like a piece of starfruit. It's not good. It's just straight up bad even.

Final Scores Baby Cuddles: 10/15 Baby Tiddley-Winks: 10/15 Sundance: 10.5/15 Ember: 10/15

[imreadydollparts]

This custom work order came through right when I needed to shut down the salon for a bit.

It was mostly basic salon, but there were a couple rehairs in the mix.

While I still can’t get consistent camera position in my photo taking spot (it’s my phone, I need it), getting the lighting more consistent helps show off the difference a bath and a little SunBox time can make.

Baby Cuddles made a very short visit to the SunBox with a slathering of 40Vol while waiting her turn to be rehaired and it helped de-yellow her body a good bit.

[ponyaday]

2/24/22 - Baby Tiddly-Winks

[princesswantsapony]

Found these poor darlings from local Fida Secondhand Store last year ~ They were in pretty bad shape with cutted manes and tails and having dirst all over them ~ Most damaged one was Tassels with bite marks on her non-display side and cut on it’s back leg. Unfortunately didn’t have money for all of them at the time, but still managed so save few of them ♥

[toyshrine]

1985 My Little Pony Lullaby Nursery Play House with Baby Tiddly Winks

[crue-sixx]

Kitty Blocked

Title: Kitty Blocked

Author: tiddly-winx

Fandom: The Dirt (Motley Crue Movie)

Summary: Your cat is adjusting to your boyfriend Nikki.  Based on the headcannon where the reader's cat keeps cock blocking Nikki while at your apartment.

Warnings: Swearing, smut and kitty antics.

=====================================================

You only had been dating Nikki a few months, always hanging out at his place whenever you could and then going on dates with him.  He had asked you about going to your place for a nice meal in and cuddles on the couch, and you agreed that it was time to invite him over and introduce him to your Maine Coon, Petey.  You had made a small eggplant parmesan for the two of you and Nikki with a side of garlic bread and a cheap wine.  When he knocked, you let him in with a big hug and a deep, loving kiss.

Petey had come out of his hiding place to see who the newcomer was, smelling that it was a human male.  He trotted up to Nikki and sniffed his fingers, trying to gauge if he was a hostile force.  "Nice cat" Nikki pet his head and he purred into it "He's huge!"

"He's a Maine Coon" you smiled "its in his breeding to get so big.  Some people use them for hunting small game" Petey rubbed himself between your legs and you bent down to pet him "but I just wanna love him like he's my baby!"

Nikki laughed to himself, thinking the scene was terribly cute.  After dinner, you and Nikki sat on the couch watching a horribly acted thriller and provided commentary for each other to laugh at.  When you calmed down from a giggle fit halfway through, he got that look in his eye and a sudden heat passed through you.  He leaned in for a make-out session, which was quickly turning into something more.

Soon he had you shirtless underneath him and he was attacking your breasts with his hands and mouth.  You let out some sighs and moans of pleasure.  He came back up to kiss your lips and neck, reaching his hand under your skirt to play with your pussy.  You could feel his hardness against your thigh, but were surprised when he stopped all movement. "Nikki, what's wrong?"

"He's staring at us..."

You quickly covered yourself with your hands, thinking that there was a peeping tom looking inside while you were getting busy.  "What?!  Where?!"

"The cat..." Nikki locked eyes with the feline, who had been staring at you two the whole time.  Petey was perched on the arm of the chair right by your heads, looking in bewilderment at what you were doing.

"Keep going babe" you encouraged Nikki, taking his dick out of his pants and stroking it.  He shivered, trying not to let the cat bother him.  But now that he knew the cat was watching them, he felt like he was being watched from all sides.  The cat let out a long Mmmmmrrrrrr sound and the mood was dead for him.

"Sorry, Y/N" he let you up and he put his dick back in his pants.  "I just can't keep going if I know he's watching us..."

"Nikki, its a cat" you said, frustrated that you didn't get off "It's not like he knows what we're doing" the mood was killed for you too, so you put your top back on.

"He's staring right into my soul..."

You softened, offering "You're a new person to him, Nikki.  He just wants to make sure you won't hurt me" you turned his head and kissed him gently "all you gotta do is come around more often and he'll get used to you" you showed him out and apologized.  He kissed you before parting ways, and made plans with you for the following week.

When the next date night came, you rented a few movies from Blockbuster and made popcorn.  After you were done with the videos you had gotten, things got very heated very quickly.  But before Petey could sit and watch you two doing the deed again, Nikki carried you to your bedroom and shut the door.  You both quickly stripped off the other's clothes and you were going down on him, while he fingered your wet cunt.  Then you both heard a soft scratching at the door.

That was easy to ignore. but the loud obnoxious yowling wasn't.  You tried to keep going but the neighbors on both sides of you started pounding their respective walls "Y/N!  SHUT THAT FUCKIN' CAT UP!"

You banged back and shouted "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKIN' BUSINESS!"

Nikki was now getting annoyed "Cant we just put him outside?!"

You looked at your boyfriend in disbelief "You want to put my cat outside in the elements?!"

"If it means we can fuck, then yes!" he shouted at you.  He put his clothes back on and opened the door to leave when Petey launched a jump attack and began clawing at Nikki's face.  You pulled the cat off him and put him in the bathroom while you tended to Nikki's wounds.  Thankfully they weren't too bad because the lease required you to get his front claws removed to minimize damage to the apartment.

"Oh my God babe I'm so sorry!" you were cleaning him up, the look of complete and utter annoyance on his face.

"That cat fuckin' hates me Y/N" he put it bluntly.

"No he don't" you responded, putting some neosporin on the scratches.

"Look what he did to my face!" he pointed to it, and you secretly found it a little funny.

"Well, you can sleep here tonight and in the morning, I'll make you a big breakfast to properly apologize" you left Petey in the bathroom the rest of the night, the mood for sex having left but you two still cuddled while you slept.

You made sure to wake up before him to make breakfast.  The smell of eggs and bacon woke him up soon enough.  He did his normal routine of taking a piss right when he woke up, then walked into the kitchen where you were cooking.  He was surprised at first seeing you wearing an apron-and ONLY an apron.  He came behind you and hugged you first "Smells good Y/N"

"It's almost ready" you giggled as you turned off the stove and put the food on the plates.  After the fire was off, he turned you around and lifted you onto the counter.  He was at your throat undoing the apron as you playfully objected "The food'll get cold!"

"Then let it, babe" he spread your legs and left little love bites on your thighs "right now I have to eat something even tastier than breakfast..." he dove right into your folds, licking you like a man on a mission.

"Nikki..." you sighed, grabbing a fistful of hair and pulling.  He loved it when you did that, so when you were good and wet he came up for air and pulled his dick out, rubbing the head on your opening.  "For fuck's sake Nikki stop teasing me!"

He chuckled "Alright baby" he slowly entered you only getting a few thrusts in when he felt something fuzzy rub against his leg.  He did his best to ignore it, and tried to get a little rougher in his thrusts.  The damn cat started screaming for attention again. He cursed his own stupid self for not closing the bathroom door after he was done taking a leak.

He lost the mood again and said "That's it Y/N!"

"What?!" you shouted back.

"It's either the fuckin' cat, or me!" he gave you the ultimatum and without a second thought sent him to the hallway and tossed his stuff out.

That night at his own apartment with his friends, he told them about the whole situation and they all looked at him disapprovingly "You told her to choose between you and a pet she's had for a long time and she adores?" Mick asked, raised eyebrows.

"Dude" Tommy said, taking a swig of beer "All you have to do is bring it some cat treats and catnip toys and he'll mind his own kitty business!"

"You sound like you have some experience in this department, T-Bone" Nikki perked up "What happened?"

"So this girl I'm trying to bang had a cat, and it wouldn't leave us alone.  So I started giving it treats and catnip so it'll mellow out and it worked!"

The next day, Nikki showed up at your doorstep with flowers and an apologetic look on his face.  "Babe, what I said was so shitty.  I'm sorry" you let him in and Petey jumped on the couch to see who it was.  He seemed unimpressed to see Nikki again, but the scent of catnip wafted toward him, leading to Nikki's pocket.  He had something else in there too-treats!

Nikki took both the desired items out and laid them in front of Petey.  You both looked on in awe as the cat took his new treasures and began to play with them.  "Looks like he's forgiven you" you said, smiling.

"So do you?" he looked at you a little worried that you wouldn't be so forgiving as the cat.

"Welll...." you teased "I did get a new shower mat yesterday.  If you want to help me test it out you're more than welcome~" you slowly slipped off your clothes, exposing your shoulder.

"Yes, ma'am!" he ripped off his clothes and followed you to the shower.  

You worked up a nice lather with the soap on your bodies and let the hot water rinse it off before you did anything.  He looked you over, the steam from the hot water adding to the hungry lust "Fuck, I need to be inside you soon..." his dick was getting hard just looking at you.

"Then let's get you hard enough to fuck me" you winked, getting on your knees in front of him and taking it into your mouth.  You started bobbing your head, then licking the shaft.  He was getting so loud the neighbors banged on the wall again.

"Y/N!  SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Since your mouth was full and it was very rude to talk with your mouth full, Nikki answered for you "I GOT SERIOUS BLUE BALLS OVER HERE!  LET US FUCK!" then you deep throated him, him releasing his load in the very back of your throat.  You swallowed everything he gave you, before gently lifting you up and pinning you against the wall and lifting your leg.

"Holy shit Nikki you came so much but you're still this hard?" you were impressed.

"Well, when I let it build up like this, it's hard for me to get satisfied quickly" with a grunt he entered you and assumed a steady slow pace.  "Oh fuck Y/N you feel so warm...like your pussy's hugging my dick..." he began kissing you, brushing a thumb against your nipple.

"Nikki..." you breathed, getting close to your high "I love you..."

"I love you too, Y/N" he grunted, his thrusts getting faster and sloppier.  "Where do you want my load?" he pulled back to look you in the eye, both of your faces flushed with desire.

"Inside me..." you pleaded "Please..."

He let out a loud roar as he came inside you, pulling you closer to him with each pulsating jerk of his cock.  You came soon after, prolonging both your orgasms by a blissful few seconds.  After a few breaths, he backed up and watched his seed flow out of you and down the drain.  "Oh my God Y/N" he brushed the wet hair from your face "that was the best sex I've had in a long time..."

"Me too" you agreed, the two of you just stood there, embracing each other a few more moments before getting out and drying off.  It was then you realized that the cat hadn't even bothered to see what you were up to.  When you went to check on him, Petey was contently playing with his new mouse toy Nikki had gotten him. "Well would ya look at that?"

In his head, Nikki made a mental note to thank Tommy in anyway the younger man wanted him to for that bit of advice.  Nikki started coming over more often with toys and treats, Petey had trusted him with his human so that when they were doing the do he left them alone.  But anytime other than that, he demanded pets from both his humans. 

[goatpaste]

oh my god i looked up star catcher and she's adorable!!! the older gens are really fun tbh... I grew up rewatching a lot of the older shows and movies. i think the 1986 ones were my favorite, even despite how old they were.

i love star catcher! she is cute and good and was my like my very special toy out o fmy horses

i had this version of her, she came i with a dvd of her movie and i loved her even after some older kids at my daycare cut her wings and hair off...

but yeah i was a very g3 kids growing up, it was what was around when i was younger and was just my personal fav thing

i currently love and own some old generation toys such as a vintage sprinkles and a baby tiddly winks

i really like the only horse toys

tbh i really like most of the only generation horse toys their very good! like gjkhsg ‘no shade’ to current mlp dolls but their just not as good!

[heckyeahponyscans]

Back cover of G1 MLP comic #20

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

Oh yeah dw I found it!! It was the Baby Tiddly Winks one (my friend asked who his favorite pony was) Tysm!!

that's a good one! Toys was a really good episode of L!F!F! and I wish there was more good audio from it since L!F!F! is known for having more generic wrong answer audios compared to the other games. we deserve a second Toys episode (I mean they definitely cover similar stuff in the Kitschy and Garbage eps of 5th Dementia but. still working on harvesting that audio)

[glitzyglee]

I just saw that Sailor Iron Mouse is going to be voiced by Katie Leigh in the Viz dub- she's gonna have the same voice as Fizzy, Sundance, Heart Throb, Lickety-Split, Ribbon, Baby Shady, Baby Tiddly-Winks, and Baby Gusty from MLP G1!

OMG! That’s awesome!

[mlphistory]

Year three playsets introducing Baby Cuddles and Baby Tiddley-Winks

[l0vegl0wsinthedark]

Hey baby! I was thinking about my favorite scenes/lines from my favorite fics and got to wondering what scenes/lines stood out to the people who wrote them. Lolol. What would you say are your top 10 favorite bits from your fics? Gimme the scoop. ❤❤

YOU SENT IT ANYWAY DAMN YOU 😂😂😂

And does it have to be ten?! 

Okay omg i’ll try to go through them and pick something decent? (nope, just picking at random lmao)

1) In Your Arms, Rests My World: 

“Nobody else is ever going to touch you again,” he promises fiercely. “I’ll kill the next one, I swear to God.”

Malfoy gasps. “Potter! Oh, Merlin.” He grabs Harry’s hair roughly, half sitting up in his urgency to kiss him. “Say more things like that.”

“You’re mine,” Harry says immediately, pushes him back down and kisses him again. “Never letting you go again.” He bites along Malfoy’s clenched jaw. “Mine.”

“Yours,” Malfoy assents fervently, nipping his earlobe. “You fucking wanker. All yours, only yours. Who else’s would I be?!”

“I’ll kill them all,” Harry hisses into his shoulder, and Malfoy keens softly. “Every last one.”

“Promise me,” he implores. “I swear I’ll fucking murder you in your sleep, Potter-”

“I’ll kill them all,” Harry grits through bared teeth. “I promise I’ll die before I let anything happen to you again. I promise, I fucking promise.”

Why this bit: IDK I felt like this bit was really satisfying after all the angst and shit - plus I love me a possessive/protective Harry so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2) Muggle ‘Drug Store’ Items:

Harry groans, throwing an arm over his eyes as Malfoy straddles his thighs with an excited grin, tugging Harry’s jeans halfway down, before rolling down his pants as well, Harry’s cock bouncing out eagerly to slap against his tanned belly.

“Oh, look, you’re all ready,” Malfoy comments happily, before leaning forward. “Wait, this doesn’t have a hole.” He pauses, holding the condom right in front of his nose, eyes crossing as he peers closely.

“You should call the manufacturers and leave that as feedback, it’d make their day,” Harry says, his voice rough, staring fixedly at the bulge in Malfoy’s snug black underpants. “Take your pants off and come sit on my face.”

“Wait.” Malfoy rolls his eyes, and jumps off the bed, returning with his wand. “I’m going to make a hole in it.”

“Why the hell, you weirdo?” Harry laughs despite himself.

“How else am I supposed to swallow?” Malfoy asks flatly and Harry chokes shut on his laugh.

Why this bit: LOL cause only Draco can buy contraceptives and then proceed to make holes in them and that’s fucking hilarious idk

3) To Those Who Wait:

It had helped that, along the way, I’d become reacquainted with the boy whom I’d hated for most of my childhood, who then, miraculously enough, turned out to be my soulmate.Yes, I know, I’m actually using the word soulmate. Like I said, I’m a practical man.

Later, we leave the windows open to coax in some of the cool, salt laden night breeze, Harry moving over me in patient, torturously slow undulations, his cock brushing my prostate every now and then in a teasing flick, my heels digging into his firm arse cheeks, my mouth gasping open under his.

“Harry,” I whisper, cradling his face with both hands, letting my lips flutter over his skin. “Please…”

“You’re my whole world,” he says abruptly, soft and breathless. “Did you know that?”

I can’t help but smile. “I had a vague inkling,” I tease gently and I kiss his laughing mouth, moaning softly as he picks up the pace.

Why this bit: Well, TBF, I picked two bits, but that’s only cause I can’t pick the whole fic (or at least the whole epilogue). Yeah, this one’s pretty close to my heart.

4) What Real Thing?:

“He has to go,” Draco repeats more vehemently. “It’s too late now– I can’t– He has to go.”

“Right.”

“I don’t even like him,” he repeats, his lip curled derisively. “I hate him, really.”

“No, you don’t,” she says quietly.

“No, I don’t,” he whispers miserably, staring into his hands.

Why this bit: Cause Draco admitting he doesn’t hate Harry is fucking precious?

5) Good Talk, Potter:

About seven pairs of eyes instantly swivelled onto me and I was quietly grateful for having worn my best shirt, I look fucking fabulous in this thing.

“Fuck you, ferret face.” Weasley’s ears still did that thing where they turned beet red and looked like they’d sizzle off his stupid head.

“Such a delight, aren’t you?” I’d smiled sweetly, still not looking at the man sitting half a foot to my left, smelling like aftershave and worn leather, looking up at me with eyes that are greener than the Malfoy grounds in spring.

Ugh, now I’m speaking in poetry?

Well, I’ve had one too many whiskeys and my thoughts tend to atrophy into doggerel by this stage – you’re not exactly the Bard of Avon yourself, let me see you come up with a decent verse or two when you’re tiddly.

Do you want me to go on or not?

Why this bit: Cause Draco ranting = endless entertainment lolol

6) Trouble: 

“I actually wanted to ask you that very evening–” Potter speaks in a mumble. “–but the probability of you chucking a chair at my head was rather high, so I decided otherwise.”

“Ask me what?” Draco asks impatiently when the man doesn’t continue.

“Do you think–?” Potter scratches his ear, restlessly kicking at a stone near his foot. “Could you maybe–?” He looks rather irritated with himself so Draco purses his lips on a smile and waits, tucking his thumbs into his pockets and turning to face the man properly. “May I have my number? I mean–” He looks rather alarmed as he hurries to correct himself and Draco could feel sudden laughter bubbling up inside him. “–would you give me my number?” He looks downright horrified now and Draco has to inconspicuously bring one hand up to his mouth to hide his grin. “Your number,” Potter sighs resignedly. “May I have your number?” he finally manages to say, hanging his head and looking miserable.

Draco bursts out laughing then, although his belly is suddenly filled by a swarm of manic butterflies and his heart thuds excitedly.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Potter growls irascibly under his breath.

Why this bit: Cause Harry’s a fucking dork after being an evil, sexy little shit earlier in the fic and it’s really satisfying lol

7) Kiss The Light Back Into Me: 

Harry likes to hold his hand a lot. His hands are perennially warm and when they’re wrapped around Draco’s fingers, he feels like he’ll never be cold again.

Harry’s mouth is soft and warm and his kisses are long and patient. He pins Draco to himself and kisses him like it’s his absolute favourite thing to do.

Well, it’s Draco’s favourite thing anyway.

He loves Draco’s hair and plays with it when he thinks Draco is asleep. Draco pretends to be asleep a lot.

Why this bit: Cause fluffeh goodness?

8) Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive:

I know what you’re thinking; Draco Malfoy, proud Slytherin, Senior Undersecretary to the Head of International Magical Cooperation, blond perfection, never one to follow the herd, hardly the type to be swayed by superficial things like the girth and length of objects, even less when said objects are attached to strangely handsome wizards, especially wizards who just happened to have saved and liberated the wizarding world before turning twenty even.

Draco Malfoy, twenty-seven and pretty darn attractive (if you ask me), who absolutely, definitely, almost certainly, probably didn’t, maybe did have a infinitesimal, itsy-bitsy, fair sized, shamefully gigantic, likely unhealthy crush on the aforementioned wizard.

Draco Malfoy who is also a sucker (occasionally, a downright slut) for sizeable cocks.

Oh, sue me, you judgemental, sanctimonious wretch. And go get a haircut.

I’m the one he eventually admits to being in love with, the words whispered reverently into my forehead, calloused hands tenderly cupping my face, his eyes soft and honest; and I’m the one he asks to move in with him six months later (golly!). I’m the one he makes breakfast for everyday, and I’m the one for whom he wakes up early on Saturdays to go buy fresh-from-the-oven pain au chocolat from that French place in Mayfair. It’s myface he sees and kisses first thing every morning and I’m the one he falls asleep pressed against every damn night.

Me, the luckiest fucking size queen alive.

Why this bit: Two bits, again; still have a dozen more fav bits. Also, Draco rants quite a bit in this one too lolol it was really hard to pick

9) (Un)Calculated Risk:

“Happy birthday,” Harry whispered, grabbing Draco’s hand where it lay on his cheek and then pressing something into it. Draco’s fingers closed around the Snitch and he looked back up at Harry with a soft snort. “I keep my promises.” Harry winked.

And with another kiss to Draco’s wryly grinning mouth, he was zooming away, leaving Draco there with the winning Snitch and jauntily flying away with his heart.

Why this bit: Cause Harry being a smooth, romantic AF fucker gives me life.

10) Hurt Me, Fuck Me (Just Don’t Hate Me):

“Fuck, Malfoy,” Potter pants into his neck.

“You just did,” Draco drawls, his balls quopping with the need to come. “Eat me out,” he tells Potter, and lifts his knees up to his shoulders as Potter more than amiably slithers down and obliges.

Why this bit: Because @bixgirl1​ would’ve brought the roof down if I’d picked any other bit

Bonus (even tho like literally nobody asked for it and I whinged about doing the first ten):

11) Just Go With It:

“Challenge accepted.” Harry sat up, kicking the covers off himself vigorously and accidentally catching Baguette with one heel. “Shit, Baguette, I’m so sorry!”

“What the fuck, Potter? Why do you keep yelling at a loaf of bread?!”

“It’s not—it’s my pet ferret! I accidentally kicked her.”

“…You have a pet ferret?”

Harry hurriedly tamped down a laugh. “Y-yeah, her name’s Baguette.”

“Why?!”

“Why do I have a pet ferret, or why is she named Baguette?”

“All of it! Why?!”

Why this bit: Because when @o0o-chibaken-o0o suggested I name the ferret Baguette, I didn’t realise what a celebrity that sassy little furry’s going to become. But she did! Plus, they have phone sex right after this bit, so.

12) All The Sense In The World:

“I take it you’ve spotted my arsehole by now,” Malfoy bit out. “So go ahead and put one finger in, Potter.” Harry blinked and looked around, registering the instruction at last.

“W-with the lube, right?” he blurted uncertainly. Malfoy pursed his lips.

“No, Potter, the lube is just for moral support – to sit there in your hand in case you need something to hold—yes, with the lube!”

Why this bit: It wasn’t until a number of readers pointed out this bit as being funny that I realised it too because Draco is such a salty bitch even when he’s seconds away from having his arse fingered open lmao

(I feel like I’ve let down my other works now D:)

THIS TOOK WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND I ENJOYED IT WAY MORE THAN I INTENDED TO DAMN YOU @bixgirl1 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️