#baby tatty teddy

[mysteriousrainsworld]

a funfair date

pairing: bf! yunho x gf! reader

genre: fluff, slice of life

summary: you’ve been wanting to go to the funfair to relive your childhood. now that you’re with yunho, you can make even better memories.

word count: 2.5k (2,515)

warnings: uhh reader is a bit (maybe a lot) shy, yunho leaves (only for a bit!) and she feels a little anxious, bf! yunho understands her needs better than her, uhh anything else and there’d be no point in reading?😭 OH pet names: baby (overused i’m sorry😓), my love, honey, my precious baby

author’s note: this was very self indulgent lol. my first ever fic 😱 i’ve had so many ideas but this is the first that i actually fully wrote cos i just wanna go to the funfair rn and would it be so bad to go with yunho :/. anyways, hope you love it and i would appreciate feedback 😋 ALSO ignore any grammatical errors lmao i went back and forth so much trying to make it all present tense but my brain hurt :/ leave me alone regarding that lol. enjoyyy!

“one sec, baby, i’ll be right back.”

your eyes widen as your boyfriend leaves your side. you turn to view his retreating figure, too embarrassed because of the people behind you in line to call out to him.

“y-yunho…?” you murmur, confused and a bit anxious as to why he suddenly left you alone.

“next!”

it was hook a duck, a game at funfairs you played often and loved as a child. you were so excited to be here with yunho, wanting to experience the loud lights in the dark hours of winter at 5pm. yet now it seemed like you were going to do the first activity by yourself. you’re given the rod and you aim for a duck to latch onto. as you’re about to hook one on, yunho’s voice hits your ears causing you to knock into the duck you were about to catch. before the stand owner could sense a failure, you quickly hook your duck, smiling to the owner for your prize but then glaring at yunho for his interruption and his prior exit. he’s oblivious to this though, eyeing the prizes as if he had a choice.

“so, what would you like?”

you turn your face to the multitude of plushies that came in all sizes, yet you knew for this game you could only have a small one.

“hmmm…”

“baby, they have the me to you tatty teddy bear! you love those.”

it was true, for some reason that bear was precious to you since you were young and as much as you wanted to refute yunho because of your slight annoyance with him, you couldn’t deny your love for that specific teddy.

“i’ll have that one, please.”

“here you go.”

“thank you!” you beam at the owner before turning around, walking towards the rides with your teddy in tow.

“where on earth did you go? you left me all alone,” you pout at yunho with furrowed brows.

“i went to get this.” only now do you realise he was hiding his hands away from your vision. he shows you the cotton candy he got and you make a face.

“yunho, you know i don’t like that.”

he pouts back at you, “oh, i know baby, that’s why i got you this.”

that’s when you see what he was hiding with his other hand: a blue and red slushie. your desperation to continue being annoyed with him wasn’t as big as your need to have something sweet on your tongue, so you take the large cup from him and relish in the taste. he grins at you, happy to see you satisfied.

“thank you, yunho.”

“no worries, baby. where to next?”

you look around at the rides, pretending to wonder about what to first ride on when you knew you already had made a plan before your trip. yunho knew this too but pretends to wonder with you.

“how about the…”

“the…”

you giggle as you look at him with hearts in your eyes, “the miami trip ride?”

“perfect, baby. lead the way.”

you wrap your arm around his and walk towards the ride, yunho putting his cotton candy stick in the bin on the way. as you approach the line, the usual nerves overtake you. you sip on some of your slushie hoping to keep calm but yunho can sense your nervousness.

“hey. baby.”

“yeah?”

“i’m excited,” he smiles at you so wide his glasses bunch up on his nose.

despite your nerves, yunho’s words help you voice your own excitement, “me too! i can’t wait.” you smile at him, grateful for his grounding presence.

finally, you’re allowed access to the seats of the ride. yunho knew you didn’t like sitting next to strangers so he sits next to you whilst you sit on the end. as soon as everyone is seated, the ride starts, slowly at first and then building momentum, going faster and faster which caused your stomach to have butterflies every time the ride came rushing down. it wasn’t too high but you could still get an overall view of the park, allowing your mind to capture the full picture of the aesthetic of the funfair. soon, the ride comes to an end and yunho helps you out. you pick up your slushie from where you had placed it on the ground and grab yunho’s hand to lead him to the next ride, adrenaline coursing through you.

luckily there was space for more people to join so you and yunho were admitted into the tagada ride without having to wait in line.

you sit in the middle where there was space and the ride begins. similar to the other ride, you were going at a soft pace until the conductor wanted to shake things up and started making it spin faster, making more bumps occur. a few times your legs lift into the air with your arms held onto the railing behind you. to stop you from momentarily levitating, yunho placed one of his long legs over your lap, securing you in place. you may not admit it but this is what you wanted the outcome of this ride to be: you held by him. you heart flutters but you try not to let your giddiness at his action show too much. he seemed content with keeping you safe and that was enough for the both of you. some other people did fall and you felt bad for finding it funny so you tried to hide your face behind yunho’s shoulder. eventually, the fun was over and you both headed to the next ride, not as disorientated as everyone else.

you once again had yunho’s hand in yours and was about to beeline to the next ride when he pulls you back. it was a bit comic, the way your leg stuck out only to fall back into his arms.

“how about we take a five minute break, yeah?” he speaks into your ear. it tickles but you couldn’t help the smirk that falls over your features.

you face him. “why? you getting scared?”

he chuckles at you. “no, baby, just thinking we don’t wanna waste all our energy now and be too tired to enjoy the rest of our time.”

he looks at you knowingly and you lower your gaze to the side. he was talking about you of course, since you tended to get overexcited when you were happy and that led to early burnout.

“okay, let’s find a bench to sit on.”

due to it being the middle of winter, the cold bit at exposed fingertips and noses with a dark azure blanket covering the park, which meant there weren’t as many people at the funfair than there would have been during the summer. you didn’t mind this at all, savouring the music from the rides travelling through the air.

“come here, baby.” yunho wraps one of his arms around you to pull you closer.

“yunho, i’m about to sit on your lap!”

“so? sit on it.”

“nooo! people will see us.”

“and? we’re just tryna keep warm.”

“i’m warm enough,” you huff at him.

“i want you to be warm more than enough.”

you look at yunho’s face and see the sincerity in it. the bright lights surrounding you two reflect from his glasses, looking like he was shooting stars from his eyes.

“being here with you is more than enough. i’m content. even tho the weather is freezing, i feel warm when i’m with you.”

because of the cold, because of your words, whichever it was, a light pink tint crept upon yunho’s face. you wanted to kiss him, just a peck, maybe even on the nose but your awareness of other people made you hold back. just as you were about to turn to get up, yunho’s face drops to yours and places a sweet kiss on your lips. he lingers but not for long, speaking just a breath away from you, “i love you.” it was your turn to blush.

before your shyness could overtake you, yunho gets up holding your hand and leads you to the next ride.

“wait, how did you know this was next?”

“mmm, just had an inkling.” he winks at you and you shake your head laughing.

it was time for one of your all time childhood favourites.

after waiting in line for less than five minutes, you and yunho sit in a cart and push the barrier over yourselves to make sure you were secure so that you wouldn’t fall out. when everyone was ready, the ride came to life, with its blinding lights and powerful music. you start moving forward, going up and down as if riding the waves of a smooth ocean. it starts to pick up pace and after a few minutes, your cart begins spinning, turning side to side. it felt like you were in a chaotic ballroom, where the moves were the same but harsher and with upbeat tunes. you fight to keep your eyes open, the intensity making you want to just snuggle against yunho. but you keep your hands on the handle and continue to enjoy the ride.

when it ends, you have to hold onto yunho for support, feeling a bit dizzy. he grasps your waist as he gets you both out of the ride and back on the ground.

“wow.”

“you okay, baby?”

“yeah, that was … a lot than i remember. but i’m okay! but… can we sit down… heh…?”

“of course we can, my love.” yunho smiles as he guides you to the bench you were sat on previously. he didn’t sit down with you, choosing to stand with his arms crossed, looking around as you gather your senses.

“hey, baby. how bout we go on the teacups?” he quirks an eyebrow.

“the teacups?” they aren’t a part of your plan, yet you don’t want to say no either. if you ride them for a bit, it would allow you more time to spend with yunho, and that was the whole point of today. “okay, help me up.”

he grabs both of your hands and then you make your way to the multicoloured teacups awaiting someone to sit in them.

it was getting late, meaning no children were scrambling to get on and you guessed maybe the remaining adults didn’t want to ride a stereotypical children’s ride, which was a bonus for you.

“go on, baby, go pick one.”

you didn’t think about it and just walked until you felt satisfied.

“i see, your favourite colour, honey.”

“oh. oh yeah.” maybe that’s why the green one felt right to you.

the teacups started moving and the whole ride was relatively slow, but that didn’t bother you as you felt calm. you and yunho spin your own teacup for a bit of fun but you mainly enjoyed each other’s presence, basking in the warm glow of the lights above.

it ends sooner than you expect. you drag your tired legs from the teacup and hold yunho’s hand as you both get off the ride. it was time for the next phase of your plan but it didn’t feel right to carry out yet. you didn’t know what to do in the meantime, eyes desperately flicking between the stands and rides that surrounded you.

yunho gasps, which scares you. “what?”

he points at a truck towards his left, a little closer to the end of the park. “churros.”

“oh,” you sigh in relief. “you want some?”

“do you?”

“hmm, yeah actually. let’s get some.” you smile up at him as you hold onto his arm, making your way there.

once you acquire the churros with the accompanying chocolate dip, you feel it’s the right moment.

“yunho, let’s have these whilst we ride the ferris wheel.”

he looks at you with a mixture of surprise and awe. “baby, that’s such a good idea. let’s go.”

finally, the last stop of the day. there were a few other couples getting on the ferris wheel as well, which annoyed you slightly, but you were grateful for the ride conductor for spacing out the people between the carts.

you get in with yunho and your churros, sitting down facing each other. at first, you sit in silence, the pair of you quietly enjoying the sweet treat, occasionally looking out down below. once you finish eating, you could only stare at yunho. shyness crept upon you for a second time that day and you try to avoid eye contact with him. you wanted this alone time together but could hardly handle being alone with him so intimately, let alone initiate anything.

yunho continues to look at your flustered figure, noticing how stiff your body was compared to your eyes flittering all around the cart. he tilts his head with a light smile, finding it cute how hot and bothered you became around him.

without a word, he pulls you onto his lap. you were about to pull away but this only made him hold you closer.

“shh, baby. we’re all alone. we’ll be fine.”

as he said that, the cart stops and you look out the window to see you were at the very top. just like you wanted.

yunho could sense you were too shy to make a move you had planned to make so he wanted to help you. he moves his face to yours so he could look straight into your eyes. you felt yourself warm up, contrary to the weather outside. holding onto his collar, you make yourself look back into his eyes, even if that had you slightly quivering.

“baby,” he speaks on your lips and your eyelids flutter. you will yourself to not shut them completely, resuming the staring contest.

he smiles against you. “ba-“ before he could finish the word, you press you face to his to close the gap, lightly kissing him. after a few (very long) seconds, you pull away, your eyes wide as if you didn’t expect yourself to make the first move. but you did, and yunho was so proud of you.

“my precious baby, kissing me first, hm?” you were ready to hide your face in his chest but he places his hands on your cheeks to keep you in place. “i loved it, should do it more often.” you whine at his words but you both knew how much that filled you with confidence.

the ride starts again, taking you down to the surface where you would have to depart. you wrap you arms around yunho’s neck and whisper in his ear, “i love you, yunho.” even though you were the only ones who would have heard it, your soft voice highlights the vulnerability you feel in the moment.

“i know, baby. i love you too.”

as you near the bottom, yunho gently places you on the seat you were sitting on opposite him and soon the doors open. you look at each other as you have everything you needed, walking out with your hands entwined and your tatty teddy bear in the other.

[clemswrld]

21 from that question list !!!!!!!!!

21.something you’ve kept since childhood?

my tatty teddy like i’ve probably had it since i was a baby, it been everywhere with me

[glamourgirlz1]

Gift ideas for her | glamourgirlz.co.uk

Glamour Girlz: Elevate Your Style with Gorgeous Accessories and Thoughtful Gifts

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[emmacrb]

These pictures were made for me by the Facebook page Magz Editz (@MagzPictureEditz). They upload cute pics and you request your name to be put on them

[scuddle-bubble101]

cursed, g(r)ay and eeby deeby with minx and sticks (i wanna make bad decisions with em >:D/j)

baby, fish and plain for tatty, lost, re, cat, cc, teddy, patchwork, and bound

soft with morgue, stick, etch and data!

shiny, fruit and pretty/p with all of em and a lil sprinkle of panic cuz of my own anxiety ^^

i wanna add more of you guys but i don't know yall that well yet :'D

"Bold words kiddo but m' fer it nyeh hehehe heh!"

"Right back at cha sweetheart Mwehhehem!<3"

"Whose......Bound?"

"Still oh so shy too as well dear well, we can always fix that~"

[haechansfbuddy]

Never bloom again

Jung Jaehyun x female reader

Based on: never bloom again by waterparks

You and Jaehyun had been dating for 9 months, and you had decided to move in together, with a house in LA. Jaehyun was your favourite place, he was your escape from reality, and he never failed to sweep you off your feet.

"Good morning darling" he came and pressed a kiss on your collarbone and have you a back hug while you stood at the stove cooking breakfast. You hummed happily in response, continuing to fry your eggs. "Jaehyun baby, could you go and set the table" "of course princess" he said, detatching himself from you to and set the table. You plated up the food, and took it into the dining room, gently placing them opposite each other so you could look at Jaehyun and talk to him over breakfast. He smiled contently at you as he say down, you focusing on his cute little dimples, and how prominent they were when he smiled.

You two talked over breakfast. And then you helped him put his jacket on and fixed his pretty hair before he kissed you and left for work.

The days always went slow when Jaehyun was at work, so you called your best friend Karina and chatted about nothing. Once the clock hit 2, you started preparing Jaehyun a snack for when he got in, like you always did. And you left it with a little note next to the plate that said "Hi handsome, I'm in the shower, but when I get out I'll be there to cuddle you" And you headed upstairs.

As you turned the shower off, clicking the head back into place, you heard the back door slam closed. You hurriedly dry yourself and get dressed and practically throw yourself down the stairs "Jae you're home" you squeak excitedly, but he just ignores you. You notice he looks upset, and he didn't eat his snack either. "What's wrong Jae you look sad, and you seem distant" He just huffed in response and you try to hug him to imply you're here for him but he just pushes you away.

You decide to give him space and you go and sleep at Karinas house, leaving breakfast in the fridge for Jaehyun and a note on the side. Karina tried to assure you that everything is fine, and Jaehyun probably just had a bad day. You still can't sleep regardless, worrying about what could possibly be that bad.

Jaehyun pov:

I didn't want to do it. I feel so bad, but it's all for work. I can't just leave my princess without telling her why. But if I tell her anything I'll get fired. Jaehyun lead awake all night thinking, knowing he has to leave in the morning without telling you why. He tried to write a not to even explain something to you, but he didn't know how to say it. So he just write a sentence and left.

Reader pov again:

When you get home in the morning, you see a little tatty teddy holding a heart, and a note that said "sorry princess, it will all make sense one day" and that's when you realised he was gone. You sobbed for hours, rereading the note a thousand times, though the tears were blurring your vision. You decided to just wallow in self pity, dancing around the living room to lover of mine. You just didn't understand.

You both suffered for the next few weeks, Jaehyun waking up a four am and wishing he was home again. You realising just how much you needed Jaehyun to function. It only got harder and harder. You knew what it was like to be alone, but it has never stung like this before. You just wished you never left him alone that day. You wanted to give him space but you stepped away from his brain. But what you didn't know is that you never left his mind. Everyone he saw looked like you from a distance, not because there was any resemblance, but because he wanted to see you. Every night you were both restless, thinking of each other, taking sleep until you were dreaming.

You decided, on tuesday, you were flying around to go and find him. You called Jaehyuns friend doyoung.

"What is it"

"Tell me where he's gone"

"I can't tell you anything"

"Doie please" he could hear the desperation in your voice.

"Look y/n, I'm sorry but I just can't tell you what's going on, I can't tell you why he left, I can't tell you who he left with"

"He left with someone" your voice was weak and sounded somewhat heartbroken.

"Don't worry, it's not like that, he didn't leave with someone to forget about you, he still loves you I promise"

"Doie where is he"

"Korea." He sounded a little shy and scared " but don't tell him I told you" he added quickly

"I won't, thank you for your service"

A plane ticket to Korea, how expensive.

You woke up on the Tuesday, determined to go find Jaehyun. You fell asleep for most of the plane ride, exhausted from spending 3 weeks sleep deprived and sobbing most of the time.

What you didn't know, is that Jaehyun had quit his job to go back to you. And just as you stepped off the plane, Jaehyun entered your home in LA.

All he found when he entered the house was his lonely words "sorry princess, it will all make sense one day"

You were gone, he didn't know where to, and he never found out the Doyoung knew where you were. He knows you are his one and only, and he'll never bloom again

Requests

[tsarisfanfiction]

The Tale of Scotty-Bear

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Gen Genre: Family Characters: Scott Tracy, John Tracy, Virgil Tracy, Gordon Tracy, Alan Tracy

And another fic for @gumnut-logic‘s #irrelief!  The prompt used here is “Any aged bro – The missing Teddy Bear.” from @fictivekaleidoscope 

When Lee Taylor bought a bog-standard teddy bear for his best friend’s baby, he probably didn’t expect it to be quite so popular.

He was, rather unimaginatively, named Scott.  That was all Lee Taylor, the man who after much debate and hair-pulling over what, exactly was an appropriate toy for a new born baby (a build-it-yourself rocket was vetoed by Lucille before he could even suggest it), had appeared with a bog-standard fluffy teddy bear and presented it to a two hour old Scott Tracy.

You didn’t need two new names to remember, he reasoned.  Scott the boy, and Scott the bear.  Simple.

(It would have been more convincing if he hadn’t started calling the baby ‘Sam’ the next time he saw him).

Why no-one ever changed the name before baby Scott was old enough to recognise that his favourite teddy shared his name, no-one ever knew.  Perhaps it just never occurred to them that they didn’t have to go along with Lee’s idiosyncrasies, or maybe they couldn’t pick a better one.  Whatever the reason, his name was Scott, and Scott it stayed.

Scott the bear, eventually nicknamed Scotty-bear after one too many occasions of a too smart toddler with an attitude ignoring his parents because “I thought you meant him!” despite knowing perfectly well that the scolding for scribbling on the wall was for him, became the heart of one brotherly tradition as the Tracy clan began to grow.

Scott the boy was four when he realised Scotty-bear wasn’t in his bed.  Lucille promised that she hadn’t moved him while he’d been out at kindergarden, making friends and already showing his future colours as a leader, but the fact remained that Scotty-bear was missing.

A thorough search of the house ensued, Scott running up and down the stairs with reckless abandon during his search and about ready to scream at Jeff when he walked in through the front door.  Luckily for Jeff, he didn’t return home from work to an irate Scott with accusations of bear-napping after a suspicious search into his younger brother’s room revealed an unlikely culprit.

Two year old John was curled up in his bed, taking a nap.  Around him were various stuffed toys, as usual, but in his arms Scotty-bear was tightly clutched.  Scott was furious, waking up his younger brother with a shove that almost knocked him off the bed and wrestling him for control of the bear until Lucille stepped in to stop him.

“Why did you take Scotty-bear?” she asked her sobbing ginger son gently, holding Scott at bay as she gathered him into his arms.  “You know it’s not nice to take things that aren’t yours.”

“Scott not here,” was the hiccupped reply.  “Wanted Scott.”

Scott stared at his brother before walking out of the room, and that was how Scotty-bear changed hands for the first time.

At this point, the tale of Scotty-bear is probably already clear.  With a toy passing down from the elder to the younger, it was a given that the pattern would continue for as long as there were more youngers.

Virgil’s acquisition had occurred with less temper tantrums, but that was probably more to do with the milder dispositions of both boys involved, as opposed to their eldest brother and his fiery temper.

At four years old himself, John was no less willing to part with the bear than Scott had been, but Virgil was enamoured with his biggest brother, and found it highly unfair that John had a bear called Scott and he didn’t.

“There can’t be two Scotty-bears,” John said bluntly when Virgil declared he would get his own. “This is Scotty-bear, and he’s the only Scotty-bear.”

Scott himself, now six, was away at school and didn’t hear the exchange.  Jeff was largely ignorant to the events that had transpired for the original handover, barring the fact that however it had happened, Scotty-bear now lived in John’s bed, but Lucille saw the signs and gave a subtle prompt to her second son.

“You can share Scotty-bear with Virgil, can’t you, John?” she asked, gently.  John thought about it, defensively holding the teddy close with a frown on his face.  In front of him, Virgil employed large brown puppy dog eyes and a quivering lip.

Just as Scott before him, John caved, and thus Scotty-bear once again changed beds.

Virgil held Scotty-bear for the longest time yet, a larger age gap between him and the eventual next younger sibling giving him plenty of time to drag the little bear everywhere with him, and drag him around he did.  Virgil and Scott-bear were inseparable, to the point that Scott himself began to sulk that he’d been replaced by a ‘stupid stuffed toy’ when Virgil had tried to give Scotty-bear the last sweet from the packet rather than his actual brother.

Lucille had to intervene more than once when Scott’s temper started to flair, convincing Virgil that Scotty-bear would be just fine without his attention for a few minutes and “Mommy will look after him, so why don’t you play with your brother for a bit?”

However, all things must come to an and, and so did Virgil’s time with Scotty-bear.

Gordon was a monster. Loud, inquisitive, and determined to follow Virgil around like a limpet as soon as he could crawl, there was nowhere for the dark haired brother to escape from his blond shadow.  Attempts to palm him off onto John were met with a raised eyebrow – John had learnt that one young – and Scott was reaching the age where he was always busy with friends, and rarely in the house for any length of time.

It was an act of despair, Virgil determined to shake the nuisance once and for all, that he turned to the stuffed toy equivalent of his elder brother.  Scott might be too busy to play with little Gordon, but Scotty-bear had no such restrictions.  Two years older than either of his brothers had been when they had surrendered the toy, and markedly less selfish than either to boot, it was a more mature boy who hugged Scotty-bear goodbye and quietly snuck him onto the blond menace’s bed during one of the toddler’s naps.

Gordon stopped following him around immediately, the cut-off so abrupt that the thought crossed Virgil’s mind that, somehow, the bear was all Gordon had wanted.  Lucille was quick to comfort him as the idea upset the kind-hearted boy, assuring him that Gordon was just distracted by a new toy and would still want to play with his brother.

As always, mothers knew best.  After a week of insistently playing with Scotty-bear (to the amusement of John and Scott, who both shared amused ‘join the club’ looks with Virgil), Gordon decided that actually his brothers were cooler than a stuffed toy who by that point had seen better days, and started to trail behind them all again.

Still, Scotty-bear was never relegated from Gordon’s bed, and was found once or twice stuffed inside a swimming bag smelling of chlorine and in need of a wash.  Lucille swore the toy had never needed so many washes in the hands of his other three brothers combined.

The fourth handover, Gordon to toddler Alan, was a far more sombre affair.  Despite his penchant for sneaking the toy with him wherever he went, amid claims that Scotty-bear was no more special than any other toy – transparent claims that no-one believed but no-one called him out on, either – when the time came, it was without any hesitation at all.

Alan was crying.

Mommy was gone, Daddy was somewhere off planet, Scott was trying to get the microwave to work with help from Virgil after John hurt his hand with water from the kettle, and Alan was crying.  Gordon wasn’t allowed to pick Alan up until he was bigger – Mommy had said so, and Gordon was going to be a good boy for Mommy in case that would help her come back – so he did the next best thing.

The appearance of a teddy bear seemingly from nowhere had Alan pausing mid wail, staring at the coveted, tatty bear Gordon made dance towards him.  Alan knew the bear – of course he did, the stories of hand-me-downs had been recounted several times and even young as he was, he’d known that meant that one day it would be his.

He’d been scheming to steal it with Mommy just last week.  Now, Gordon was holding it in front of him with a sad smile, and Alan wanted that bear.  He snatched it, and Gordon let him.

Scotty-bear was Alan’s faithful companion for many years.  Kids laughed at the threadbare toy when it was found in his school bag, and harder when they found out it was named after his biggest brother.  Alan refused to be dissuaded – Scotty-bear was special and if they didn’t understand that then that was their problem. Known troublemaker and big brother Gordon stepped in from time to time when Alan’s classmates got too raucous, and word quickly spread that it wasn’t worth picking on the teddy bear.

With no younger brother to pass Scotty-bear down to, Alan believed that Scotty-bear would be his forever. First the death of his Mommy, and then the world-shattering loss of Dad had him clinging tightly to the toy.  His brothers doing the same thing Dad had been doing when he’d disappeared terrified him, and Scotty-bear was the keeper of his fears as he listened dutifully with fabric ears to Alan’s confessions in the middle of the night when he was the only one home.

It was only once he joined their ranks that Scotty-bear was set aside, a childhood toy not suitable for the launches into space and beyond, and the well-loved old toy ended up in the bottom of his closet, out of sight and, eventually, out of mind.

But that was not the end of Scotty-bear’s travels.  For the cycle of brother-to-brother to complete, there was one more transition to make.

Scott, a young man who had owned the bear for all of two years and barely remembered that it had ever been his past stories and photos, found Scotty-bear in Alan’s closet one day in the weeks leading up to the launch of the Zero-XL.  A fine layer of dust had settled over his fur, adding to the illusion of age, but Scott made no move to clean him.

Life was stressful, with the piles of responsibilities on his shoulders growing ever heavier, and the realisation that soon they would be chasing after Dad, to whatever end that might lead, just another one to add to the pile.  He was a fully grown man, and had no need for childhood comforts, but Scotty-bear looked at him with chipped beads for eyes and almost without realising it, Scott took the toy back to his own room.

John noticed, because of course he did, but it wasn’t until Dad was home and safe and recalling, amongst many other things, Alan and his favourite bear, that Alan discovered Scotty-bear’s disappearance.

Before it could get too out of hand, Alan threatening to tear the villa apart for the sake of a teddy bear he hadn’t looked at in years, John pointed the finger and stopped all arguments in their tracks.

“He was always Scott’s. We just borrowed him.”

Scott wasn’t the only one dumbfounded at the admission, but it didn’t take three devious younger brothers long to agree that of course the old-age teddy belonged to the old-age brother, and why didn’t they see it before?

Jeff watched with delight as four sons (John declared guilty by association) found themselves thrown into a pool by an older brother trying and failing to feign offence, who himself ended up dragged in when he didn’t back away from the edge fast enough.  It was good to be home.

(If Scotty-bear ended up back in Scott’s bed again that night, no-one commented.)

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

This is kind of a weird request... I've been collecting baby names since I was 15 and I thought you could maybe tell me the noteworthy reactions from shiggy? (This was hard to ask cuz I'm super shy about this list) Girls German : Ida, Hedwig, Fiete, Anika, Tattie English : Editha, Mykie, Izabell french : Maddy, Claudette, Elise Japanese : Akira, Kinoko, Eri, Masumi, Ren, Kaya Bois German : Vincent English : Davie, Eddy, Teddy, Connor, Levi , Tony, Tailor Japanese : Hiro, Kaneko, Kai, Yumi

you are so valid

i feel like he vibes with anika, izabell, elise, akira (an oc of mine!!), masumi, connor, levi, hiro, and yumi

[iamjustawoman-blog1]

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[writsgrimmyblog]

Writcraft’s 2018 Fic List

Now that Erised reveals are up, I can finally post my fic list of 2018 and do one of those summary memes I’ve been dying to post. Better late than never! 

2018 was a year of faltering muses then writing in quick, intense bursts of inspiration. When I look back on 2018, although there are one or two works I’m not overly satisfied with, some of the things I’ve written are personal favourites when I reflect on the fanfic I’ve produced over the years. I’m going to answer some yearly evaluation questions, but here’s my list of 2018 fics and as a self-contained post. This list doesn’t include ficlets posted on Tumblr only.

Number of Fics Written in 2018: 36 if you count the 10 chapters of my Festive 500s that published in 2018. The final 10 of those are going up in the next few days too, I promise. 

Total 2018 Published Word Count: 341,000. Although 31,000 of that total includes a co-write, we edited each others words too and worked on the fic as a whole together. I have also underestimated how much I wrote on LLM this year and not counted some drabbles and tumblr ficlets, so I think this total is about right.

Most Written Pairing: 

Harry Potter Fandom: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy 

R1 RPF / 1D: Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

Fests (Moderator): Harry Potter Kinkfest, Harry Potter Horror Fest, Harry/Draco Big Bang, Grimmy Appreciation Fest

Fests (Participant): Secret Snarry Swap, HD Erised, HD Fan Fair, Sirius Black Fest, Harry/Draco Big Bang, HP Femslash Minis (November Challenge), Harry’s Birthday Mini Fest, Drarry Discord Rare Pair Challenge, Snarry-A-Thon, HP Goldenage, HP Horror Fest, HP Kinkfest, Tomlinshaw Exchange, Grimmy Appreciation Fest

The full list of the fics I published on AO3 are below the cut.

HARRY POTTER FANDOM

Harry Potter and The Bisexual Awakening written for @hd-erised

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 23,186

Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

In The Palm of His Hand written for Secret Snarry Swap

Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 6,969

Harry has a thing for Snape’s hands. Snape indulges him.

Slice of Life written for @hd-fan-fair with art by @phoenixacid

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 16,300

Luna and Ginny are worried about Harry, Greg is a very a fine baker, Snape’s portrait has a lot of opinions and Draco Malfoy is (probably) up to something. 

In which one man’s love for jam tarts blossoms into a different kind of love entirely.

Winter of ’79 written for @siriusblackfest | Little Compton Street Series

Sirius Black/James Potter | 17,000

Post-punk Britain is in the grip of another brutal winter, Thatcher is in power and Muggle gay bars keep getting raided for no reason at all. Sirius just wants to find somewhere to go drinking with the best mate he definitely doesn’t fancy. When they’re directed towards a tatty Soho sex shop during a night out, neither James or Sirius expect to find a magical street that will change their lives forever.

Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) written for @harrydracobang with art by @llap115-reblogs | Little Compton Street Series

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 65,500

Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.

Independent Love Song written for @hpfemslash-minifest

Millicent Bulstrode/Ginny Weasley | 6,300

Millicent Bulstrode is a tailor and Ginny is losing her mind over a woman in a tweed blazer and burgundy brogues.

Dirty Talk

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 3,000

Harry is rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco's mouth.

Sky Full of Song written for @harrybirthdayblog 

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 2,000 (podfic by semperfiona here)

Draco turns up at Harry's birthday party unexpectedly and Harry takes a leap of faith.

Treading Water written for the Drarry Discord Rare Pair Challenge

James Potter/Sirius Black | 2,000

I’m sorry, Sirius wants to say. I’m sorry people in this stupid world made you think loving me could only ever be a joke.

Ten Points to Gryffindor written for the Drarry Discord Rare Pair Challenge

Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 2,000

Harry is of the opinion that using a desk solely to mark papers is a wasted opportunity. He decides to take up the matter with Severus.

Stone Butch Blues written for the Drarry Discord Rare Pair Challenge

Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina (Wil) Grubbly-Plank | 2,000

Wil and Min reminisce.

Potterzine written for Snarry-a-Thon

Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 11,000

When Severus Snape finds a fanzine with a picture of Professor Potter in a compromising position with Draco Malfoy on the cover, he confronts Potter about the offending literature. Severus probably should have looked inside, because it turns out some of Potterzine’s writers have a different suitor in mind.

Not Even A Little Bit

Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 2,000

Harry is asked to investigate Severus Snape. This isn't going to go badly at all.

Maybe Just A Midnight Rendezvous

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 3,900

Harry's back in London and he's determined to show Draco how things have changed.

Life Has Just Begun written for HP Goldenage

Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 6,200

Harry has been carrying the weight of his secret desires for a long time. Severus is there when he’s finally ready to talk.

Dysphoria (poetry and art) written and drawn for Harry Potter Horror Fest

Teddy Lupin | 250 (please heed content tags)

Who is it here who can tell me who I am?

Take Him to the Stars (Cut to the Feeling) written for @hpkinkfest

Harry Potter/Scorpius Malfoy | 9,800

Scorpius has a thing for older men. For one older man in particular.

Bedroom Hymns

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 11,200

Harry asks Draco for dinner out of the blue. Draco’s about to find out that dinner isn’t the only thing on Harry’s mind.

Lonely Without Him (Everything Changes But You)

Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 3,500

Severus hasn't celebrated his birthday for years. Harry decides it's time for that to change.

Don’t Stop Believing

Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, Implied Sirius/James Potter and Sirius/Remus/James | 1,800

Sirius looks up at Remus and he’s close enough that Remus could count every one of his eyelashes, if he wanted. He drinks in the glint in Sirius’s eyes, the lazy curve of his smile and the light shadows under his eyes.

RADIO ONE RPF / ONE DIRECTION FANDOM

Stuck In The Middle (Of Nowhere) With You written for @tomlinshawexchange

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 10,500

Nick throws a party at Soho Farmhouse's new Yorkshire retreat, to celebrate his X-Factor victory.

He didn't anticipate getting trapped in the middle of nowhere with rival judge Louis Tomlinson, who's a terrible duvet thief and a surprisingly good kisser. Not that Nick's been thinking about that last part for the past three weeks. Much.

Nick and Harry’s Infinite Playlist written for @grimmyappreciation

Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles | 13,400

At an indeterminate point in the future it happens, just when Nick least expects it.

Lost and Found co-authored with @shiftylinguini for @grimmyappreciation

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 31,400

In a year when things are coming to an end for Nick, an unexpected chapter begins at the start of a long, hot summer. An accidental romance in Malta. Featuring Annie on the decks, Nick and Louis below deck, a handful of bad nautical puns and weather that's far too hot for trackies.

Knead You Now written for @silveredsound

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 11,400

Harry used to be a baker, Louis definitely didn't and Nick just wants to know how the fuck they got into his kitchen.

Little Lion Man

Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson | 123,600

It’s his final year at Hogwarts, and Louis can’t wait to leave for good. He hates being in Gryffindor and he can’t even enjoy a smoke with the Slytherins now his best mate Zayn’s fucked off to Durmstrang. Louis would be completely miserable if not for WWN and Nick Grimshaw. As Louis tries to negotiate coming of age, homophobia in the wizarding world and his growing feelings for Nick, a new evil emerges which puts Louis and Nick in serious danger. Louis is about to learn exactly how brave he can be as he finds himself fighting for his life, his friends and everything he’s ever loved.

SUPERNATURAL FANDOM

Baby Love

Dean Winchester/Castiel | 3,000

Dean and Castiel share a moment in the Impala.

MULTI-FANDOM

Festive 500s (chapters published in 2018 only)

Chapter One: Introduction  Chapter Two:  His Wasted Heart (Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald) Chapter Three: Vanilla (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy) Chapter Four: Just Like A Movie (Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles) Chapter Five: Festive Friendship (Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall) Chapter Six: Beware of Gryffindors Bearing Gifts (Severus Snape/Harry Potter) Chapter Seven: Ways To Say ‘I Love You’ (Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter) Chapter Eight: Darling So It Goes (Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank) Chapter Nine: Desperate (Harry Potter/Scorpius Malfoy) Chapter Ten: Phoenix (Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy)

[intizzies]

JAM  SANDWICHES  -  a  study  in  connie  and  childhood . 

pls  do  not  read  if  you’re  easily  triggered .  implications  of  sa ,  abuse  &  drug  usage . 

“It’s jelly, not jam!”

Hazy memories are still jarring, softly seeping through her mind as she drifts off to sleep. 

“I don’t care, my Daddy calls it jam!”

Little girl wearing brown boots glares at her friend playing in the stream, brown hair in two thick plaits, resting on her shoulders. Brown eyes narrowed in conflict, staring straight into blue eyes opposite.

Wendy, her friend, places little hands on her hips. She has a little smirk on her little face and she giggles a little giggle. 

“Your Daddy is stupid. Jam’s not an American word.” she raises her little eyebrows. 

“He’s not American. He’s Irish. And he’s not stupid, you bitch!”  

Connie Ripsom makes contact with Wendy’s face with her fist and she bolts upright. 

Her room is white and chipped and peeling like her lipstick she hasn’t taken off. Anger fills her throat till she can’t swallow and she’s frozen like she always is until she moves her fist. This time, it’s shaking, and she unfurls her fingers to take the week old bottle of water from the floor beside her bed. 

“Don’t drink that, Connie! It’s a week old at least. Who knows how long it’s been there?” A woman hisses from the front seat. She’s sulking because her husband has forgotten to pack drinks for their lunch. From the middle seat, a young girl with dark brown hair in pigtails sips on a carton of apple juice. Her Mother always carries one in her purse. It’s the girl’s favourite.

Connie puts the bottle back, one leg crossed over the other. Her shorts are too short and she knows it, but she’s practically an adult now, so it doesn’t matter. She’s not. She’s thirteen. 

The back of her neck burns but she doesn’t move her legs. She knows he’s watching from the other side of their sister. She still doesn’t move her legs… 

“I made jam sandwiches, kiddos.” Connie’s Dad puts his thumbs up in the driver’s seat. Connie’s heart stutters and she smiles just slightly. 

She crumples up the plastic in her hand and unscrews the top, shaking hands powdery - the remains of something she also had under her nose. She throws her head back and chokes on stale water, oxidised and poisonous. She thinks it tastes worse for her than the angeldust she had earlier. Her Mother was right.

Her head swims and rocks like a boat and she hates how sick she feels in the pit of her stomach. The front door clicks open and slams shut and Connie’s breathing becomes laboured. She crawls across her bed and her eyes fall on her tatty old teddy bear with a stained bowtie. That bear has never been washed. 

Teddy bear and glass of milk in hand, rosy-cheeked Connie Ripsom bites into a strawberry jam sandwich. Her older brother bites into his strawberry jam sandwich, too. Jam spills out of the sides. Connie giggles and Randy grins, wiggling his sticky fingers at her. 

Her little sister cries from her highchair and her Mother picks her up. Connie and Randy stop grinning and observe their Mother coo at the perfect little baby. The woman smiles down at the tiny human and looks up. 

“Wash your hands. You’ll get jelly everywhere.” she rolls her eyes and carries Betty upstairs. 

Connie whispers ‘jam’ under her breath and her brother peels back the bread from his meal. He scoops up the filling with his finger and leans across the table, unceremoniously wiping it on Connie’s nose. She laughs a laugh only a three and a half year old girl could laugh, and she claps. 

“Jam.” Randy nods and licks his fingers. 

She can’t leave her teddy there. She picks him up and throws him under her bed. 

“Connie!” 

She wishes she could still fit under there, too. 

“Connie!”

Fourteen year old Randy Ripsom has his friends over. They’d been giving each other chinese burns in the room next door. She has to be ready. She’d been cross-legged on her little bed since they’d come home from playing in the stream, staring at the wall at the end of her room, her teddy in her arms. Connie’s nails dug so hard into his fur that the stitching beneath was starting to fray. 

And when he calls her name, she takes her teddy and wriggles under her bed. The record playing in the next room is suddenly louder and distorted in her little twelve year old mind. She wishes he wouldn’t call her name like that, she wishes he wouldn’t even notice her. Maybe this time - 

There’s a herd of footsteps down the landing, bare wooden planks ricocheting echoes across the house. Her Mother has to have heard, please, this one time…

Maybe this time - 

All five of them are over today. She sees the pairs of shoes in her doorway as it’s flung open in a hurry. 

“Connie, you’re so stupid. That never works.” 

Her neck feels fuzzy, like she’s stood too close to the fire. There’s a hand on her hair and it yanks, but she doesn’t feel anything. She crawls out from under her bed, and there’s laughter. 

“What are you doing with this thing? You’re too old for teddies now.” Randy grabs her toy and drops it immediately. “What the hell is that shit on it?” His friends laugh harder. 

She doesn’t like how he’s saying it. Doesn’t he remember the jam sandwiches they had for lunch? Connie hates teenage boys.

“Have you been playing without us? I thought I told you not to…” 

There’s a clink of metal, a zip and Connie’s mind goes blank, fuzzy like her neck. 

“What the fuck do you want?” she groans, voice faint and wavering. She doesn’t like the way it comes out. Whatever she’s taken is still in her system. 

“Sounds like you’re happy to see me.” eighteen year old Randy leans in her doorway. His arms are smudged with motor grease. Connie hates the way his tank top parades his muscles like they’re things she shouldn’t be scared of. “What are you on?” he takes off his combat boots and throws them across her room, already reaching to his belt. 

“I ‘unno. Whatever was on the fucking table.” she shuffles across her bed to sit on her pillow. 

“Why are you wearing that?” her brother’s nose crinkles in self-repulsion as he looks her up and down. 

“Thought I’d get my Betty on, Randy-Pandy,” Connie cackles her spiteful little laugh only a fifteen year old girl could laugh. “Why, don’t you like it?” she flips her hair, hands on her hips, kneeling forward. 

Reginald “Belch” Huggins is thoroughly distracted. He’s caught her and Henry will be mad, but this is definitely a first. 

Connie Ripsom flips her hair as she sits on the grassy bank next to him, on her knees, leaning forward, fluttering her eyelashes. Her breath smells like strawberry jam.

He’s got to admit, she’s pretty. Eyes like a bug’s and a nose like a pug’s, but pretty. 

Plus, she’s hot now. His eyes snap back up to meet hers again.

“Come on Belchy Baby, you don’t want to let Henry have all the fun, do you?” she grins lopsidedly, screaming at herself in her head. Calm down, Connie, she tells herself. She supposes it’s fun… And it’s not like he’s someone else she’d rather not think about. 

“I dunno, Henry-”

“I won’t get you into trouble. I’ll still be here to entertain Henry when we’re done. You just have to take me somewhere quieter, that’s all.” Connie’s bug-eyes flicker from Belch’s to the long grass over his shoulder. They’d be catching up soon, and she doesn’t want to face Henry Bowers and Patrick Hocksetter and least of all Victor Criss. Least of all Victor Criss because she actually likes him. 

“... Okay.”

It’s easier to fuck up with people you don’t like.

“Got a light?”

“You don’t like your other sister so much, do you?” she reaches for her lighter balancing on the windowsill. 

“Shut up, you little bitch.” Randy spits at her. He knows she’s done this on purpose. She knows it too, although maybe influenced by her state of mind. 

“No, that’s Betty. I’m a jammy cow, remember?” Connie laughs again, and Randy snaps. He takes his big beefy hands and slams them into the side of his younger sister’s face, pressing her head against the wall. She’s still laughing. 

Connie tries to remember when she stopped trying to fight back. 

The pressure from Randy’s fingers increases as he pushes down, Connie’s head pounding. She wonders when it’ll be over. Maybe he’ll make her head explode and all her brains will flop out onto his hands. 

And like that, Randy freezes. 

“What can I smell?” he asks, the same self-repulsed look of disgust creeping across his face. 

“Made you a jam sammy.” Connie gestures with her hand (as her head is currently occupied). 

“You did what?” the older boy’s voice is far away. 

“Strawberry.” 

She crawls out from under Randy’s grip and offers him the plate on the nightstand. He takes half of the sandwich and she takes the other. 

Connie sits next to her brother, mascara smudged as usual. She closes her eyes and lets the flavour of the strawberry take over the metallic sting of the blood on the inside of her cheek. 

She wonders if her Dad will notice they’re out of jam. 

Probably not. 

She bites down onto the inside of her cheek and swallows. 

Connie opens her eyes and resolves to buy herself a jar.

[glamourgirlz1]

chignon pins | glamourgirlz.co.uk

Glamour Girlz: Elevate Your Style with Gorgeous Accessories and Thoughtful Gifts

Hello, lovely readers! Today, I want to share something that every fashion-forward woman needs in her life—the perfect accessory. Whether you’re dressing up for a wedding, adding a touch of sparkle to your everyday look, or searching for a thoughtful gift, Glamour Girlz has it all! We’ve got everything from stunning hair accessories like crystal alice bands and velvet scrunchies to unique gifts like adorable baby booties, Me To You Tatty Teddy bears, and even dog jumpers for Halloween and Christmas! Let’s dive into some of our most fabulous finds.

Accessorize Like a Pro: Hair Accessories for Every Occasion

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[greymantledlady]

imagine it’s a wet, cold, rainy sunday

and steve wakes up to the sound of rain on the windows, and tony warm and cuddly and curled into steve’s neck, fast asleep and snoring very quietly. steve turns his head and kisses the soft warm skin of tony’s forehead.

he can hear peter in his cot bed in the next room, singing a quiet baby song to himself and playing with his toys. steve smiles to himself but doesn’t move, because peter’s happy and tony is a warm trusting weight along steve’s side. he wants tony to sleep for as long as possible, because tony’s been burning himself out lately, looking after peter.

steve doesn’t expect the quiet to last for long, of course, because while peter doesn’t mind playing by himself, he’s got a sixth sense about when his dads are awake. sure enough, soon he hears little scampering feet and muffled giggles, and then peter’s soft brown head appears at the side of the bed, chubby fingers tugging insistently at the covers.

‘papa!’ he says. ‘up!’

steve smiles. ‘morning, petey-pumpkin,’ he murmurs. ‘shh-h, daddy’s sleeping. only quiet people allowed on the bed, okay?’

‘i be quiet,’ peter says instantly, in a loud whisper. steve feels tony’s mouth curve in a little smile against his neck, but his eyes stay closed, his body relaxed and soft. steve smooths his hand down tony’s back, and then reaches out with his other arm to scoop peter up on to the bed with them.

'up you come,’ he whispers, 'remember, no loud voices.’

peter nods solemnly and cuddles into steve’s other side, propping his tatty brown teddy on steve’s chest and tucking a thumb into his mouth. steve strokes his hair.

soon, peter’s thumb pops wetly out of his mouth. 'daddy sleeping,’ he says, leaning forward so he can see tony’s face.

'that’s right,’ steve tells him. 'daddy’s real tired. he needs his sleep.’

peter climbs over onto steve’s chest so he can get close to tony, gently patting tony’s arm with one little paw. he curls up between them both, looking up at steve. 'i help,’ he says. 'i help daddy sleep, papa, see? i help.’

steve chuckles. 'yes, you are helping, it’s very good,’ he says, tapping peter gently on the nose. 'can you hear the rain, sweetheart?’

peter listens, head tipped to one side. 'pap-pap-pap-pap-pap,’ he says. 'makes sounds.’

'yes, it does,’ steve says. 'maybe if you’re real good we can go up top with daddy later and play in the puddles. Would you like that?’

'YES,’ peter says gleefully, forgetting to be quiet. 'puddles! papa, i love puddles. i splash. i splash in my red boots, papa?’

'yes, your red rainboots,’ steve confirms, smiling. 'but quiet voices, remember?’ he looks down at tony, running a hand over tony’s messy curls; tony’s eyes slowly open, hazy and soft with sleep.

'what’s all this about puddles?’ he murmurs.

'daddy!’ peter says delightedly. 'wakey up! look papa!’ he flings himself on tony, wrapping chubby arms around him and nuzzling his forehead into tony’s chest. 'lovey lovey lovey,’ he sing-songs. 'lovey huggy.’

'love you too, baby boy,’ tony says, his voice morning-rough, and he slides an arm around peter and cuddles him.

steve strokes a gentle thumb over tony’s jaw. 'morning, beautiful,’ he says, and bends down to kiss tony’s cheek, ghosting his lips up to drop a second tiny kiss on the tip of tony’s nose. tony scrunches it, smiling, and then leans up to press warm sleep-soft lips to steve’s chin.

peter pops his head up at that. 'i kiss too,’ he says earnestly, and then plants a big wet one on steve’s neck. 'i kiss, papa. i kiss you!’ he giggles and then falls on tony again. 'i kiss my daddy,’ he says into tony’s shoulder. 'i kiss you, daddy. i doing kisses.’

'i can feel them,’ tony tells him, grinning up at steve. he runs his fingers through peter’s hair, and kisses his forehead.

and steve puts his arms round both of them, a warm safe circle, holding them close. later, they’ll get up, and steve will make rainy-day pancakes for breakfast while tony dresses peter, and there will be splashing in puddles on top of the tower, and cuddling with blankets and hot chocolate on the couch afterwards, and it will be wonderful, everything steve has ever wanted in the world.

but for now - tony is soft and warm and comfortably tucked into steve’s side; and peter is sleepy again, clutching steve’s shirt, his other small hand gently petting the side of tony’s face. and steve looks down at them both, and he’s simply happy.

'love you,’ he whispers, and tony smiles softly against his shoulder.

'love you back.’

(more ficlets under the 'stevetony ficlet’ tag on my blog)

(might do a follow up later with the puddle splashing)

[butsomeofusarelookingatthestars]

Would you be able to write something about Luke dating a professional dancer (like Broadway) and maybe combine it with the song "Little Things"? I feel like he would be the best body worshipping SO a gal could ask for 😉 I've been reading your imagines nonstop for the last few days and idk I would really love to see what you do with this one. Thanks!

Urgh, I feel you so much on this! My main headcanon is that Luke would be the best body worshipping SO! I changed it up a little bit to help soothe the plot over. I hope you like it

Little Things

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Luke Alvez x ReaderPrompt: Request (song inspiration: Little Things – One Direction)

Description: Things had changed, but one thing hadn’t…Luke was still hopelessly in love with you. 

Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for meBut bear this mind it was meant to beAnd I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeksAnd it all makes sense to me

It was early when Luke woke up. Bright beams of sunlight shone onto his face, warming his skin, as he stirred sleepily. He smiled at the feeling of the light pressure on his chest, tenderly kissing your hair as you peacefully slept.

Almost instinctively he turned to glance at the baby monitor perched on the bedside table. All was peaceful.

He sighed contently as he sank back into the fluffy pillows, the serenity of the scene particularly soothing given the stressful case he had worked on yesterday. When he finally returned home late last night all he wanted was to cuddle up with you and wish his son goodnight.

Ever since he had become a new father, he had been struggling to keep his emotions in check when dealing with exceedingly horrific cases involving children. It sounded stupid, but he just couldn’t take his mind off his own baby at home.

He glanced down as your hand gripped his shirt tighter, murmuring quietly in your sleep. He bit his lip to contain his laughter at your drowsy mumblings. All he could make out was something about the ‘tatty teddy’ being on the living room table. Apparently, even in your slumber, you were still thinking about your son.

It had been a surprise to find out about your pregnancy.

Certainly, neither of you had planned for it to happen. But, it had been exciting news regardless. You had been dating for a long time now anyway and he loved you immensely. So, starting a family together was something he was more than happy about. In fact, the team had been delighted to see the bright grin on his face as he proudly showed them the ultrasound scans of his little boy.

He couldn’t have been happier.

I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smileYou’ve never loved your stomach or your thighsThe dimples in your back at the bottom of your spineBut I’ll love them endlessly

You looked so peaceful, almost angelic as you breathed softly – the rise and fall of your chest soothing against his skin. He tenderly brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, tracing the lines on your face.

He could stay like this forever.

You stirred slightly at his touch, shuffling in the sheets as you yawned sleepily. You sighed softly as you stretched your body, glancing up to see Luke’s soft smile.

“Morning.”

Luke didn’t respond with words, wrapping his arm tightly around your waist to guide you back down beside him. A contented sigh escaped your throat as he pressed light kisses onto your neck, trailing downwards as his warm breath tickled your skin.

You groaned slightly in protest as he reached your stomach, pulling the sheets down to get a better view of your body.

“Luke, please don’t-” The rest of your complaints didn’t even register with him.

He just stared down at you in awe as his eyes swept over your form. Their warm brown depths seemed to almost radiate adoration as he leaned down to place tender kisses on your stomach, tracing the lines of your stretch marks lovingly.

He knew you still had hang-ups about your post-pregnancy body. It had especially been a problem for you given your career. Professional dancing required a lot of hard work and you still needed time to adjust to being a new mother.

He was well-aware that you were self-conscious about your body following the birth of your son. But, he couldn’t possibly understand why. You looked like a vision of perfection to him. If anything, each faded stretch mark made him love you even more. He just wanted you to know that.

“You’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks blushed as he held your gaze, the intensity in his eyes making your heart flutter. The scene was incredibly intimate, in a way you had rarely experienced. You just felt so comfortable…so safe in Luke’s arms.

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouthBut if I do, it’s you, oh it’s you, they add up toI’m in love with you and all these little things

His hand gently caressed your face as he captured your lips in a passionate kiss.

A loud wail echoed around the room, followed by a bark – there was no really need to have a baby monitor with Roxy acting as a canine nanny. You tapped Luke’s cheek affectionately, kissing him softly as you murmured that you would attend to your son.

He was grateful for your offer, still a little exhausted from getting home so late last night. Besides, he would have the entire day to look after his son. You were heading to a meeting with your personal trainer, with the intention of slowly getting back into dance practice in time for important auditions in four months’ time.

You had both taken time off work to be there for your son. Of course, it would never be enough – the two of you entirely smitten with your tiny baby. But, you were both also determined to make it work – balancing your own ambitions, careers and new parenting responsibilities.

So, Luke had been thrilled to be able to do solo parenting today – allowing you the chance to return back to your other love, dancing.

You can’t go to bed without a cup of teaMaybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleepAnd all those conversations are the secrets that I keepThough it makes no sense to me

He smiled to himself as he heard you cooing softly to your son in the nursery. A wide grin spreading across his face as he lent back into the pillows, observing your tea-stained favourite mug perched precariously on the bedside table next to the baby monitor.

The domesticity of the scene struck him. Never would he have imagined himself doting on a family, delighted to wake up to the sound of his baby gurgling and the sight of half-filled cups of tea beside the bed. But, here he was…and he couldn’t imagine anything better.

He still remembered all the nights you had stayed up together, murmuring softly about what baby names you preferred and how he still had to find the time to assemble the crib. Stroking your growing stomach lovingly as you felt the baby kick. But, even those nine months couldn’t have prepared him for the actual joy of being a father.

I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tapeYou never want to know how much you weighYou still have to squeeze into your jeansBut you’re perfect to me

His lips curved upwards into an even bigger smile as you entered the room, rocking your baby gently in your arms as his cries subsided. Luke outstretched his arms as you passed his son over to him – allowing you to start getting ready for the day. Your son gurgled slightly at the disruption, calming down as Luke ran a gentle finger down his cheek soothingly.

“There. There little man.”

You smiled softly as you observed the two of them, Luke tenderly holding your son’s tiny hand in his as he rocked him from side to side. It was a sight you would never get tired of seeing.

You returned back to the task at hand, grabbing jeans and top to quickly pull on. However, you groaned as you tried to zip up the pants. It definitely wasn’t as easy as it used to be. Your son was the greatest thing you had ever done, but it had been difficult to accept how hard it would be to get back into dancing after the birth.

“God, what if I never fit back into them the same.” You muttered quietly, quickly throwing your shirt over in order to prevent yourself from looking at the soft layer of skin.

It was just hard considering what your body had used to be like. After all, you were a professional dancer. It was part of your job to have good fitness and it would take a lot of hard work to get back there.

Luke smiled kindly as he shook his head at your comment. He had already told you that you could achieve anything and that you would always be perfect to him regardless.

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouthBut if it’s true, it’s you, it’s you, they add up toI’m in love with you and all these little things

As you prepared to leave the apartment, Luke stood up, cradling your son against his chest as he approached you. He smiled softly before swooping down to capture your lips in a loving kiss.

“Have a good day at work. We love you.”

[thank-god-and-you]

A/N: This is kind of a hot mess of lameness, but I’ve finished it now, so here we go. It’s over the word count (obviously...), and the prompt doesn’t come in until the end, but I hope it’s enjoyable anyway.

-- --

Every factor indicated to John Bates that today was going to be a very bad day.

It had started in the early hours of the morning, with Jack’s ear-splitting wails. Both he and Anna had dragged themselves wearily from bed, trying with increasing desperation to get him to quieten, but nothing seemed to work. Not sucking at his mother’s breast, not being rocked in his father’s arms, not being changed or read to. His first teeth had started to cut through his gums only a few days before, and they were being punished for it now. All he and Anna had been able to do was sit up helplessly with him, trying to see out the worst of it.

Peace had, at last, fallen near dawn, when Jack had clearly screamed with such ferocity that he had run out of energy and had slipped under into an exhausted, uneasy slumber. That was when Anna’s own symptoms had started. He’d caught her shivering in the night, but she’d waved away his concern, adamant that she would not leave their son’s side when he was in so much discomfort. It had been to her detriment. Her cotton nightgown and threadbare shawl had done nothing to combat the surprisingly cold June night, and as Jack had succumbed to sleep, so Anna had succumbed to whatever ailment that had crept up on her. Her temperature was up, and her eyes were puffy from lack of sleep. She’d been to the bathroom twice to throw up in quick succession. Now she was pushing weakly at the bed sheets.

“You’re not getting up,” he said sternly as she made to follow him out of bed. She fixed a glare on him, its impact lessened by the uncharacteristic dullness of her blue eyes.

“I am perfectly capable, thank you, Mr. Bates,” she said.

“You are not,” he shot back. “I know you don’t like to concede defeat, but I’ve not seen you looking like this in a long time.” Not since the trauma she had gone through, when she’d been gaunt and lifeless, a silent ghost amongst them.

“There’s Jack to look after. He’s a baby, he can’t do it himself.”

“No, he can’t. I can look after him, though.”

She looked at him with watery eyes. “You?”

John didn’t know whether he should be offended or amused that she didn’t seem to have much faith in him. “I’m his daddy. He should know that I’ll be there for him no matter what he might need.”

“But how will you be able to manage everything? It’s difficult enough trying to do the work round the hotel without a little baby needing your attention every minute of the day…”

He could see she was fretting, so he said firmly, “I can manage.”

“But there are the nappy changes, to mention nothing of the feeding. You know he has a healthy appetite.”

“Anna, you know very well that I have no problems changing a nappy. Well, not anymore. And you said yourself, now he’s teething you’re going to wean him off. We’ve got condensed milk in the cupboards. I can make him a bottle quite easily. I’m not running the hotel completely alone, you know. Mrs. Aldred dotes on him, and Josie is a bright young girl. I can trust her to take charge just for the length of time it takes to see to our son.”

He could see that Anna wanted to argue further, but she had no ammunition left. Her scowl of defeat was all the more pleasing for its rarity. Cheered despite his own bone-tiredness, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, lingering longer than he needed to just to savour the feel of her beneath him. He drifted down to catch her mouth, too, but she jerked her head away. He was momentarily afraid that she was cross with him.

“I don’t want you to catch what I have,” she said. “We can’t have you ill as well. Oh, God, what about Jack? What if I’ve passed something on to him? He’s just a baby.”

“The doctor says that babies are surprisingly resilient,” John reassured her. “And look how well he nurses. He’s a stout chap. It’ll take a lot to take him down, I think. It’s just the tooth pain that’s been keeping him up all night, nothing more. And speaking of the doctor, I’ll send Josie out for him as soon as it’s acceptable. He can come and make sure that there’s nothing he can give you to make you feel better quicker. I don’t like the idea of leaving you on your own all morning, but…”

“You don’t have a choice,” Anna said firmly. “I wouldn’t expect you to put me before the business.”

“There’s no contest,” John said immediately. “I could lose all of that quite happily tomorrow, as long as I knew I’d still have you and Jack. You’re all I need.”

“Which is very sweet, but it’s not keeping a roof over our heads. Go, I’ll be all right. It’s just a cold. I’m not at death’s door.”

They’d all thought that Miss Swire wasn’t at death’s door when the Spanish Flu had hit, but that had turned out to be a catastrophic miscalculation.

“I’ll keep sending someone over to pop their head in on you, at least until the doctor arrives,” he promised.

“Nothing is going to get done if you carry on like that,” said Anna, the smile evident in her voice. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Just…don’t be home too late tonight. You’ll be absolutely exhausted. I don’t want you burning yourself out.”

He mock-saluted at her. “Yes, ma’am. Now, I’d better go and get ready. I’ll leave Jack here while he’s sleeping. Just try and sleep, my darling.”

She nodded, reluctantly snuggling back down amongst the sheets. He gathered his things together and moved out of the room, not quite ready to see the start of this day himself, but without any other choice.

-- --

After readying himself in the bathroom, somehow managing to scrape together something edible in the kitchen, and making a cup of tea to take to the bedroom for Anna in case she wasn’t quite asleep, John made his way back upstairs, balancing his tray carefully. He wasn’t sure if Anna would be hungry even if she was awake, so he had just prepared a couple of slices of hot buttered toast for her, something plain that would hopefully sit all right with her stomach. And if she was asleep, well, a couple of slices of toast were no great loss. In these early few months, they were trying to be as careful as possible to preserve the money they had. The majority of their savings had been eaten up by this move to Scarborough, and Anna was prudently making savings wherever she could in order to ensure that they made it through the slower winter months.

When he pushed open the bedroom door a crack to gauge whether Anna was indeed awake, she stirred and rolled over. Her eyes were hazy, as if she had been dozing, but she managed a smile for him. John pushed the door open further, padding into the room and setting the tray down on the bedside cabinet.

“I’ve brought you something,” he said softly. “If you don’t feel like you can stomach it, that’s all right. Just leave it there and I’ll move it when I come home. Don’t even think about doing it yourself, do you hear me?”

“It’s just a tray, John,” she said. “I’m quite capable of moving it.”

“And I’d feel much better if you just stayed in bed, at least until the doctor comes to see you. You ought to relish the chance of a lie-in.” He tucked an errant strand of her hair behind her ear, smiling. “Besides, haven’t you always wanted the chance to wake up natural? Well, now’s your opportunity. No alarm, no responsibilities. Make the most of it, my darling. Jack and I will be just fine. We’ll muddle along together quite well. It’ll be nice to have some quality father-son time.”

“Have you got everything he needs, though?”

“I have. I’ve packed the baby bag. It’s sitting by the front door.”

“Are you sure you’ve got everything? Changing things? Milk? His favourite blanket? Mr. Tatty Teddy?”

“Stop fussing. Yes, I’ve got everything he needs. He’ll be the most doted on baby in the whole of Scarborough today. Now, just try and relax.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’ll try. I can’t promise I’ll be any good. Idle hands and all that. I’ve never been much good on the sickbed.”

“You’re very beautiful on it, though.” He bent in to press another kiss to her mouth before she could protest, then straightened. “Right, little man, it’s just you and me today.”

Jack didn’t even stir, and John chuckled.

“See? I might even have an easy ride of it. All that wailing all night long is bound to have worn him out. We’ll do just fine.”

He bent down and picked their son up gently, cradling him in his arms. He really was a big chap now, heavy and stout, round-faced and thick-limbed. There was no doubt in John’s mind that he was following the trend of Bates men being big and burly. It filled him with pride, made his heart swell and spill over with love for this child he had helped to make with love.

Anna was peering at them with warmth in her eyes. He could not stop his smile at the sight.

“We’re out to make the money that will keep our family afloat,” he said. “Goodbye, my darling.”

“Bye,” Anna echoed, and he closed the door behind him as he made his way onto the landing. Despite the small space, they kept the pram in the hall so they weren’t constantly fighting with it every time they wanted to get it out, and John was grateful for that now as he tucked Jack up nice and snug. Stowing the bag of supplies over the bar, John navigated the front door, jostled the pram outside, and made his way to work.

A minor bump in the road, he hoped, with Jack’s disturbed night and Anna’ sudden illness. He was usually pessimistic, but surely things were bound to improve? What could possibly go wrong?

The answer was, unfortunately, several things, which John only discovered as the day went on.

-- --

Mr. Locke, the man who kept a watch over the hotel at night, eyed him dubiously as he struggled through the door with the pram.

“What’s that?” he asked, as if he’d never seen a baby before. John suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

“It’s my son, Mr. Locke,” he said, pausing a moment to catch his breath.

“Well, yes…but what’s he doing here? Doesn’t he usually come along with Mrs. Bates?”

John bit his tongue to keep in any scathing comment about how Jack’s earlier than scheduled arrival could be such a problem. Would he cause the forces in the universe to shift? Would he bring the place down on their heads?

“Mrs. Bates isn’t very well today,” he said. “I said that I’d take Jack so that she could have some respite and focus on getting herself better.”

“Oh,” said Mr. Locke. His tone of voice indicated that he thought it was a weakness that a woman should fall ill when she had a child to take care of—presumably that was why he had never married at the age of forty-five.

“Anything to report?” he said, firmly steering the conversation in another direction before he lost his patience with someone making suggestions about his precious Anna.

Mr. Locke shook his head. “No, everything went smoothly last night. No dramas to report.”

The last one had been a couple who had tried to sneak out without paying the bill. Before that, they’d had one man who had tried to creep down into the kitchen to steal some of their produce. John couldn’t understand what on earth drove some people to be so dishonest, trying to undermine the means he had to provide for his family. If they had plenty of money to spare, he wouldn’t mind it quite as much. As it was, when they were already in such a precarious situation, they could hardly afford to be robbed. They had only had their business for a few months, and while it was going better than he’d thought it might, they were hardly stalwarts with plenty of recurring customers. Hiring a night manager had been a stroke of genius on his wife’s behalf, even if Mr. Locke grated on his nerves at times.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “Thank you for another good night. I’ll see you later?”

“You will,” Mr. Locke confirmed, pushing himself to his feet. “Have a good day, Mr. Bates.” He glanced doubtfully down at the pram.

“I’m sure I will,” said John, straightening to his full height.

He waited until the other man was out of the door before sighing, rubbing at his temples. It would be all right. It would. Jack had settled down now, and he had enough experience to care for him. He could change soiled nappies almost as efficiently as Anna could, and while Anna did most of the feeding at her breast, he had made a couple of bottles before. He could do this.

“You’ll be a good lad for your old dad, won’t you, son?” he murmured, looking down into that round, angelic face. “You’ll take pity on me because you know I’m not quite as competent as your wonderful mummy is. And we can have a grand old time, just the two of us. You’ll be running this place in no time at all.”

He stroked his index finger just barely down his little cheek, and then paused to think. Anna’s usual morning routine meant going down to the kitchen to check in on Mrs. Aldred and see how she was getting along with the breakfast preparations while he popped along to the office to make sure everything was in order. They met back up in the dining room to greet the guests and to ensure that they had everything they needed. Anna usually helped with the serving while he made a swift exit, always the more awkward of the two in social situations, but he was certainly not afraid of pitching in with the more manual tasks when he was needed. And without Anna’s presence, it would certainly be needed this morning. No guest of theirs would leave thinking that they hadn’t been properly attended to. He’d have to leave Jack sleeping in the corner of the room and hope that nothing disturbed him, but their son was quite the main attraction at the hotel, so he would hardly be a disruption.

But first: to see Mrs. Aldred.

When they had been scouting the place out, the estate agent had informed them that the property had been built a long time ago by a wealthy middle class businessman, who had had it built over three floors to emulate the style of a great house. Rather than building it up into an inn for the upper classes, however, he had lost most of his money to gambling, and the place had been sold off to the highest bidder. Which, as it turned out, hadn’t been that high at all. It had been passed down three generations in the new family, but they had had no children to leave it to, and in their old age wanted to be able to enjoy their retirement. And so it had passed into their care, and hopefully into the Bates family for many generations to come. Anna in particular had been enamoured with the layout, a reminder of Downton in miniature form, and John had been caught up in her enthusiasm. He knew they’d made the right choice. Scarborough was a beautiful area, and not too far away from Downton, so they could still keep in touch with their old friends. Jack would still be able to grow up knowing the places that his parents had loved the most, while still making their own happy memories away from it. It was perfect.

Manoeuvring the pram into the office, John set about lifting his son up. He would not leave him here on his own. He’d enjoy a trip to the kitchen. He didn’t intend on staying long, so hopefully the noise wouldn’t disturb him.

“Right, here we go,” he murmured into Jack’s ear as he lifted him high into the crook of his neck, his hand spanning his tiny back and keeping him close. Jack snuffled. His breath was warm against his neck. Perfection. Together, they made their way down the short flight of stairs to the basement area. The echoing clangs informed him that Mrs. Aldred was hard at work.

He found her standing over the oven. She’d only been at work for an hour, but already her hair was frazzled and her cheeks were bright red. He cleared his throat.

“Good morning, Mrs. Aldred,” he said. “I just thought I’d pop my head in to see how you were doing.”

Much to his dismay, rather than turn around with a smile, the complete opposite happened.

Something much worse happened.

Mrs. Aldred shrieked, and a flailing elbow caught the pan of freshly fried bacon, knocking it all over the floor.

“Christ!” John yelped, taking a hasty step backwards while the cooked screamed and flapped about again.

“What are you doing down here!?” she scolded, whirling round to face him.

How had that been his fault? “I was just coming down to see how you are,” he said defensively. “Mrs. Bates does that every morning.”

“Mrs. Bates also doesn’t sneak up on me like some kind of thief,” the cook responded furiously.

“Here, let me help you clean up,” said John.

“You’ll do no such thing! Men shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen. They only ever get underfoot. And you’ve got the bairn in your arms. Where are you going to put him while you clean, hmm?”

“I can put him down,” John said tentatively.

“And where will you do that? The table? Oh, yes, very clever idea, Mr. Bates! No, stand there and don’t move. You’ve caused enough trouble as it is.”

That was hardly fair, John thought. He hadn’t deliberately gone out to make a mess for her to clean up. How had she not heard him approaching? His cane was hardly soundless against the flagstones.

“How much of breakfast has gone?” he asked, eyeing the mess. That was all he needed to start the day, no breakfast to serve the guests.

“Most of it!” she shrieked. And she started again, on her tirade against men in the kitchen. John bit his tongue to stop himself from pointing out that there were many great male chefs. Their own Alfred had gone off to the Ritz. That wasn’t something to be scoffed at.

It probably wasn’t a good idea to mention it when Mrs. Aldred had so many sharp implements to hand. And, he though mournfully, she was right about one thing: this probably wouldn’t have happened if Anna was here, for his wife was the very picture of grace and poise.

“We’ll just have to send up whatever we can,” he decided. “Fruit and the like. It’s not what we usually do, but we’ve no choice in the matter. I have faith that you can conjure something up.”

Mrs. Aldred glared at him, continuing to mutter something about the incompetence of men under her breath. He thought it was best to leave her while he still had his body intact.

“I’ll just take Jack back upstairs,” he said. “I can send Josie down.”

“You’ll do no such thing! I’m quite capable of running my own domain, thank you very much!”

“I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t,” John said wearily. It was times like this that made him wonder why they had hired her in the first place. She was a wonderful cook, but she was even more cantankerous than Mrs. Patmore. “But it would take half the time with two.”

“Josie isn’t a cook. She doesn’t know the first thing about the kitchen. She’s no use to me here. Leave her be.”

“Very well. Do you think you can rustle something up?”

“What do you take me for? Of course I can. Just delay it ten minutes. Offer them a cup of tea, or keep them talking. I’ll ring when I’m ready for Josie to fetch.”

“All right. I am sorry for startling you.”

“That’s all right.” She paused, as if she something was just dawning on her for the first time. “Wait, where is Mrs. Bates?”

“That’s what I tried to tell you. She’s sick. That’s why I’ve got young Jack here with me. I thought she might feel better if she had some peace for a while.”

“Well, I hope she isn’t ill for long. This place couldn’t run without her.”

At least they could agree on that. “She’s always been resilient. I’m sure she’ll be back on her feet in no time.” God, he hoped so. This place was already falling apart without her at the helm. “I’ll leave you to get on.”

Mrs. Aldred grunted, and with that he turned on his heel, hitching Jack further up against his shoulder. His son snuffled and drooled, not even moving a muscle. Typical. He had kept them up all night, but was sleeping through the Second World War.

Well, John thought fondly, he was his mother’s son.

-- --

Thankfully, despite the hysteria surrounding it, breakfast was a success. The cold breakfast, whilst different to what they were usually used to, seemed to go down a storm. Josie handed everything with her steadfast reliability, and John would wager that Jack had something to do with the smiles on everyone’s faces, too. His son had the kind of face that could melt away any kind of bad mood. He got that from Anna, too.

It boosted his confidence. Surely the worst had passed now? The rest of the day could continue smoothly, and he would return to Anan triumphant with his day of work, and relay it all like a boy needing the praise from his mother.

Unfortunately, his hope was short-lived.

-- --

When all of the guests had gone about their own business, John deemed that it was the right time to slip away. He took Jack into the office and closed the door behind him, heaving a sigh. Blessed silence.

“Come on, son,” he said, gently lowering him into the bassinet they kept in the corner of the office. “Let’s leave you here while Daddy takes a look at the mail we’ve got. Hopefully there will be a few more bookings in this lot. We could do with it to get us through the summer.”

Jack did not respond. John shook his head at his silly chatter and pulled the pile towards him. There were indeed several requests for reservations, as well as more bills. He set those aside to look over with Anna, dragged the diary towards him to check their availability, and set about composing replies.

He was halfway through that when Josie interrupted him. She popped her head around the door shyly.

“Is now a bad time, Mr. Bates?” she asked. John liked her. She was a good girl. Hardworking, quiet, friendly with Anna and good with their son. He put his pen down.

“Not at all,” he said with an encouraging smile. “What is it, Josie?”

“Well, the Lewises have just told me that they thought they heard something squeaking in their room.

“What!?” John exclaimed, standing at once. “That can’t be right! Not with the way you clean, and Anna is dogged about these things. It’s impossible.”

Josie shrugged helplessly. “I’m just passing on what I heard, Mr. Bates.”

He caught himself. “Of course. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. Where are they now?”

“They’ve gone out,” the young woman supplied. “They said that they would give you some space to sort it out and they don’t want to hear it when they come back.”

John huffed. “Of course. Well, we’ll go up there and take a look.”

Josie nodded solemnly. He admired that about her. She would tackle any problem head on, much like his own dear Anna. “What shall we do about Jack?”

“He’ll have to come with us. We can put him on the bed.”

“And if we find anything?”

“We won’t,” John said stubbornly. “Come on, let’s go.”

Josie nodded, and disappeared. John scrubbed his hand down his face, moving over to the crib. Jack’s lips twitched in his sleep.

“I’m sorry for having to move you again,” John whispered as he bent down to retrieve his little body into his arms. Perhaps it would have been better if he’d left Jack at home with Anna. They could both have been having some much needed rest.

But it was pointless to think like that. Anna would scold him if she knew the direction that his thoughts had taken. She was his biggest supporter, the person who had made him believe that he could be a good father despite everything in his life that had previously told him that he would be terrible at it. Jack would be all right.

Hitching him further up against his shoulder, John limped out of the room and followed Josie up to the Lewises’ room. Together, they moved in and closed the door. Instant silence. That was good. This way, they would hopefully hear those phantom squeaks.

Or not. Because those squeaks didn’t exist.

Josie stayed by the door as John roamed further into the room, settling himself on the edge of the bed while he deposited Jack in the middle. He’d be safe there. The only sound that could be heard was their breathing, and Jack’s little sleep snuffles. There was no scuttling feet, no squeaking, nothing to suggest that there was another presence sharing the room with them.

“I don’t hear anything,” said Josie in a stage whisper. “How long should we wait?”

“We’ll give it twenty minutes or so,” he decided.

“But what if they still insist they can hear something when they get back?”

“Well, we’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. They’re not with us for much longer. Hopefully we can avoid any disasters.”

Josie nodded, moving over to the chair in the corner of the room. She settled herself onto it, and together they waited.

John closed his eyes as he concentrated on the silence. What bliss it was. No sound at all. No crying Jack. It was something he could quite get used to—

“Mr. Bates?”

He jerked his head up to find Josie staring at him curiously. He cleared his throat and tried to put on his best managerial voice. “Yes?”

“Were you sleeping just now?” the girl said.

“Of course not!” he said, puffing out his chest. “Closing my eyes helps me concentrate better.”

“All right,” said Josie, though she sounded less than convinced. He had just opened his mouth to bluster further when he paused. No, it couldn’t have been.

Could it?

“Mr. Bates?”

“Keep quiet,” he said lowly. “I thought I heard something.”

“Heard something!?” Josie squeaked, sounding a lot less sure of herself now that she was faced with the reality of it. She sat ramrod straight on the chair, bringing her legs up off the floor as if she feared the mouse would use them as a climbing pole. Ignoring her, John strained his ears, trying to pick up on the faint noise he had heard before.

There.

Good God, there really was something in this room. That was unacceptable.

“I hear it too,” Josie breathed. “Where do you think it’s coming from?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “We’re going to have to search for it. It can’t escape, at least.” At her look of horror, he amended, “I’ll look for it. You just watch Jack while you keep your eye out for it creeping anywhere. All right?”

She looked much calmer at that. With a groan, John pushed himself to his feet. He scanned the perimeters of the room, but there was nothing lurking in the corners. That meant it had to be somewhere else. Probably hiding under the bed, or perhaps under the cabinet. He’d have to get on the floor and have a look. It was not a prospect he relished. With a groan, he lowered himself to the floor, trying to keep his weight off his knee, tilting his head so he could see under the bed. It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness.

He swore when they did, scrambling back ungracefully. His knee twinged.

“Mr. Bates?” said Josie urgently, her voice high-pitched. “Mr. Bates, what is it? There’s something under there, isn’t there?”

Yes, there was. Something with huge glowing eyes. Something out of a nightmare. It was bigger than a mouse. It had to be a rat.

The biggest rat he had ever seen.

It squeaked again.

John swore again, trying to calm his heart. He couldn’t let on to Josie that it had unsettled him.

“Right,” he said, “I’m going to make a grab for it.”

“But what if it gets away!?”

“It’s still got nowhere to go.” With the size of it, he doubted it would fit into any hole in the wall. The idea of killing it with his bare hands made him feel queasy, but there was little else he could do. He just hoped that it didn’t have a nest somewhere…

Taking a deep breath, he lowered his head back to the floor. Those same eerie eyes glowered at him. Now or never.

He reached under the bed, making a mad grab in the direction of those eyes. It screeched.

And leapt for him.

John didn’t even have a chance to move before his face was full of something furry and wriggly. He muffled a yelp. Christ, that thing had claws, claws that were digging into his skin. He reached up in a blind panic to try and tear the thing off.

“I’ve got it, Mr. Bates, I’ve got it! Hold on!”

It happened in a blur. One moment he couldn’t see because of that mass of thick fur, the next…

The next all he had time to register was a heavy tome flying towards his face.

It slammed against his nose with a giant thump. His nose cracked and exploded. Swearing, he rolled over, moving his hand up instinctively. It came away covered in blood. Josie squeaked again.

“Mr. Bates! Mr. Bates, are you all right?”

“Fine,” he managed to gasp, trying not to swallow the blood that trickled down over his lips. Jesus Christ, that hurt.

“I swear I tried to get the rat!” the girl said miserably. “But it jumped away.”

“It wasn’t a rat,” he said grimly. His mouth felt oddly numb, and he wiped the blood away with his fingers again. “It was a cat.”

Josie blinked. “A cat!?”

John gestured in the direction of the corner, where the little ball of fur now was. The little pointed ears and the tail was unmistakable. A kitten more than a cat, really, no more than a few months old, little and scrawny. It clearly had no place to go.

Josie dropped the book she had been wielding back onto the bed. “Oh.”

John struggled back into a sitting position, his head aching. Christ, that hurt like the devil. It was probably going to leave a mark. If Lord Grantham had seen it, he would want to recruit Josie for the house cricket team.

The little grey kitten was still backed up in the corner, its little teeth bared, a low growling sound issuing from its mouth. Undeterred, he struggled back to his feet and limped over to it, bending down and grabbing it by the scruff of its neck. It yowled, and tiny front paws with razors for claws flailed out, looking for something to grab hold of and rip to shreds. It might have been small, but it was a feisty thing.

Josie stepped closer, cautious. “Where do you think it came from, Mr. Bates?”

“Hard to say. It must have crept in through the back door and snuck up here without anyone noticing. There’s nothing as wily as a cat. It’s a relief. A cat isn’t nearly as bad as a rat.”

“What are you going to do with it?” she asked.

It wasn’t something he’d given any thought to. He could put it back out on the streets, but there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t find its way back inside. Drowning kittens, while common practice, was far beyond his tastes. He’d taken enough innocent lives in his time without resorting to it in helpless animals.

Still, what else was there to do?

The idea niggled at the back of his mind, not quite fully formed. If Anna was here, he was quite sure he knew what she would say…

But no. It was impossible. They could not have a stray cat around the place. Times were hard enough as it was without adding another scrawny mouth to the family.

And yet…

And yet he knew that that wouldn’t deter his wife. All of God’s creatures faced their hardships, she would say, and this little thing was facing them now. She would fix him with that look, that look he couldn’t resist, and she would say…

“I’ll take it home,” he murmured. “Give it somewhere warm and dry to stay.”

Josie beamed at him. “That’s a great idea, Mr. Bates!” She hesitated. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

John checked. “Definitely a boy.” Which at least made it easier. He wasn’t going to come home round with kittens.

“What are you going to name it?”

“I think Mrs. Bates will decide that.” She’d had her own way with Jack, after all. No doubt he would have to go along with whatever she chose for this four legged new addition. “Find me a box to put him in. Make sure you put a few air holes in it.”

Josie eyed him doubtfully. “Will you be all right if I leave you alone?”

He forced his lips to stretch into a painful smile. “I’ll be fine. I’ll just go and clean up in the bathroom.”

“And Jack?”

John checked his son. Still sleeping. Bloody typical. “I’ll only be in the bathroom.”

“All right, then.” Josie cast him one last uncertain look before disappearing. He waited until the door had closed behind him before dropping the kitten back to the floor. It—he—scurried back to his hiding place under the bed. Well, that was all right. He’d just have to ferret him out again.

For now, he had to get a good look at his face. It stung like the devil.

Pushing open the door, he took a deep breath and faced the mirror. And groaned aloud.

Good God, between them, Josie  and the kitten had certainly done a number on him. Blood still trickled from his nose, and his cheekbone was starting to darken, where the corner of the book had struck him. Thin red lines scoured down his cheeks from the kitten’s tiny claws. It was almost as if he had gone back in time to his stupid youth, where drunken fights had been as natural as breathing.

Tentatively, he dabbed at his nose with his handkerchief, running it under the tap and watching the water swirl red. He managed to staunch the flow, though there was nothing he could do about his nose’s redness, nor to mask the dark bruise or those cuts.

Josie returned shortly, and together they managed to get the kitten into the box. It yowled and wailed from within, but John ignored it.

“Go down to the kitchen,” he said, “and see if there’s anything Mrs. Aldred can spare to feed it. It’s not looking too bad, but it can’t have eaten for at least a day or two. It’ll be all right in the office until I have time to pop across home to see Anna.”

He checked his pocket watch; hopefully he’d have time for that soon. If all was going well, the doctor would be going round to see her. With any luck, he’d be able to give her something to help. And once John could get over there, he would make sure that she told him everything the doctor had told her, and that he carried out her every whim.

Unfortunately for him, that moment was to be a little further away than he had initially anticipated.

-- --

Back down in his office, John sighed. The kitten was stored safely under the desk, probably making its way through the mounds of chicken that Mrs. Aldred had reluctantly spared for this latest acquisition. Jack was back in his bassinet, still snuffing and twitching, at peace with his little world. Finally, he could get down to some of the work he had been intending to start right at the beginning of the day.

He was just reviewing the inventories when there was yet another knock on the door.

“Yes?” he called, just barely masking the irritable edge to his tone. It opened, to reveal Mr. Sanders, the headmaster of the local school and a highly influential member of the community. John stood at once.

“Mr. Sanders!” he said. “What a surprise. I wasn’t expecting you.” They knew the man, but not very well.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not at all. Please, come in.”

Mr. Sanders did so, then stopped short. With a tired resignation, John realised that he was staring at his face.

“Mr. Bates,” he said tentatively. “What happened…?” He gestured upwards.

“It’s a very long story,” he said. “One that involves me being very careless. I know, I know, it looks like I’ve been in a young man’s brawl. I can assure you, I have not.”

The other man nodded uncertainly, but it made John suppress a groan. God, this meant that every person who came across him in the next couple of weeks would look at him with the same distrust. He hoped that it wouldn’t have an effect on the business. Don’t stop at the Bateses’, he imagined people saying in his head. That Mr. Bates is a rough old thing. Heard he was in the army back in the day.

“How can I help?” he asked wearily, to deflect Mr. Sanders from staring any longer.

He shook himself into action. “Right, yes. I’ve come to ask a favour of you.”

Please, take a seat.”

The other man did so. “Thank you. I apologise for dropping in unexpected.”

“Not at all,” said John. “Would you care for some refreshments?”

“Tea would be appreciated,” said Mr. Sanders. “Thank you.”

“What brings you here?” said John as he stood to make tea at the little table in the corner of the room. That had been Anna’s idea; she claimed that she was unable to work if she didn’t have a strong, sweet cup of tea near at hand at all times.

“Well, as you know, the yearly Yorkshire Roots event is coming up,” he replied, watching John move to hook the kettle over the fire. “The organisers met in Barnsley to go over the final details. We’ve been trying to go round and gather together some prizes for the charity event, and we were hoping that you might be able to donate something. We were hoping to have some enticing prize for the most money donated. We thought that there might be something you could offer as an incentive.”

John continued to frown, mulling over their options. “The only thing I can think of that might fit the bill is a stay in the hotel. Would that be a big enough incentive?”

The headmaster clapped his hands in glee. “That would fit perfectly. The celebration is open to all the county, so it will give plenty of people outside Scarborough the opportunity to stay here themselves and see what a wonderful place it is to visit. You and Mrs. Bates have the makings of a very fine business on your hands, and I’m sure it would do you both the world of good to have the name advertised everywhere in this corner of God’s green earth.”

That was a good point. As it stood, he and Anna were still establishing their little business, operating in a small area by word of mouth. Many of the others back at Downton had promised to spread the word of their new venture, but the opportunity to have their business delivered on an even greater scale was simply too tempting to pass up. Advertising all over the county was more than they could ever have hoped to achieve on their own.

“Mrs. Bates and I would be more than happy to donate that,” he said. “And there’s no one better at hosting than my wife.”

Mr. Sanders gave a fond smile, no doubt thinking of the many biscuits and cups of tea Anna plied him with whenever he dropped in. “You’re right there. And your son never fails to make people smile. Where is the little tyke now? With Mrs. Bates, I presume?”

“Oh, no, Mrs. Bates is feeling under the weather today,” he said. “He’s over in the basket.”

Mr. Sanders stood. “Is he, indeed?” He moved across the room to said basket, peering inside. “Ah, there he is. Like father like son, eh, Bates? Strapping little thing, isn’t he?”

“He is,” said John, unable to mask his sense of pride. He was pleased that Jack looked more like Anna, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a real sense of achievement when people said that he took after him, too. That was probably silly masculine conceit, but he simply couldn’t help it. He limped over to Mr. Sanders’ side, unable to resist the chance to look upon his son once more.

Unfortunately, at that precise moment, Jack’s little eyes blinked open. He latched onto John at once, and then his gaze slid across to Mr. Sanders. He stared up at them for a moment, wide-eyed. His gaze darted back to John, as if he recognised his daddy, but there was a definite chin wobble as his gaze moved back to Mr. Sanders. John frowned, suppressing an amused quirk of the lips. It was almost as if Jack was trying to work out why Mummy had changed so dramatically since the last time he had seen her standing next to Daddy over the crib.

The image wasn’t funny for long.

Because Jack opened his mouth and began to scream.

Mr. Sanders shrank back at once, clamping his hands over his ears.

“That’s a healthy pair of lungs!” he half-shouted.

John reached into the crib, picking him up at once, cradling him against his shoulder.

“Son, it’s all right,” he tried to murmur into his ear, but Jack gave no indication of understanding. He only screamed louder.

“I’ll, um, leave you to it,” said Mr. Sanders, backing away rapidly. He seemed to be the kind of man who liked babies as long as they were quiet. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Bates.”

John could only nod distractedly, the wails beginning to make his ears ring.

“Look, son, it’s all right now,” he said frantically. “He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s not going to hurt you. Daddy’s here.”

Jack’s sobbing indicated that he didn’t believe him.

-- --

It carried on. And on. And on. Déjà vu all over again.

John tried everything he could to get his son to settle. Rocking him in his arms, trying to feed him from the bottle he had brought with him, even going as far as trying to sing him a lullaby, pushing his humiliation to one side. Nothing seemed to work. Jack grew progressively redder in the face, his little lungs screaming, hiccoughing and gasping as his features scrunched. Nothing seemed to placate him. Mrs. Aldred tried to take over with no-nonsense firmness, and Josie tried cooing at him, but it was all in vain. Jack just carried on. He was aware, too, that he hadn’t yet managed to get back home to check in on Anna, something that greatly unsettled him. And, with his son squealing the way that he was, now seemed as good a time as any.

Feeling the first stirrings of a headache behind his eyes, John said wearily, “Will you please watch him, just for a few more minutes? I need to take the cat across the road and to check in on how my wife is doing.”

“Yes, of course,” said Josie, but it wasn’t without a dubious look at Jack’s scarlet face.

With that, John picked up the box—the kitten had started its own bloody yowling—and carried it out into the blessed quiet of the outside world. He paused for a moment, enjoying the cool air on his face, before starting his trudge down the little field to his home. Now that it was away from that awful noise, the kitten seemed to have settled once more.

He unlocked the front door when he arrived and set the box down on the table in the hallway. He listened for a moment, but he could hear no movement. Perhaps that meant that Anna was still abed.

Not wanting to risk waking her if she was asleep, he crept upstairs. The bedroom door was ajar. He tried to peer through the crack. She wasn’t in bed.

More confident now, he pushed open the door to find her sitting at her vanity, absent-mindedly running her brush through her long, silky hair.

“Hello,” he said.

Rather than greet him with enthusiasm, she almost jumped a foot in the air, turning around and holding the brush up like a weapon.

“Good lord, John Bates,” she scolded, her other hand over her heart, “what on earth!? Why didn’t you shout and let me know you were back!? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“I didn’t want to wake you if you were asleep,” he protested.

“So you thought killing me was a better option!?”

“Sorry,” he said, suitably chastened.

Her eyes widened then, as if she was finally taking note of his appearance. She stood quickly, her chair clattering to the floor. “John! What’s happened!?”

She looked frightened, and he hastened to smooth her fears over. “It’s nothing, I promise. I had a bit of an accident at the hotel. No one hit me. At least not intentionally.”

“Not intentionally!? So someone did hit you!?”

“I’ll explain everything in a moment. It’s not pressing. I’m here for a more important reason.”

She was still eyeing him as if she thought he might collapse at any moment. “What’s that, then?”

“I came to check up on you, of course.” He moved further into the room, wondering if she would permit him near enough to hold her. “Has the doctor been yet?”

“Oh,” she said, a funny, faraway look misting her eyes. “Yes, he has.”

“And?”

“And nothing to report. I’ll give you all the details later, but there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”

John sighed, relaxing at last; he hadn’t realised just how tense he’d been until that moment. “That’s fantastic news, my darling.”

“I was thinking I might come along to the hotel now and give you a hand.”

“What? No, absolutely not.”

“But I’m as fit as a fiddle. I have it on good authority.”

“I still think you’d benefit from a day of resting.”

“I couldn’t sleep again now, not after today.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked in confusion, but she simply shook her head.

“Never mind,” she said. “Where’s Jack?”

“I left him with Josie,” he said, resolute that he wouldn’t mention that their son was currently screaming his little lungs fit to burst. “There’s something else I have to show you.”

Anna raised an eyebrow. “Now I’m intrigued. What is it?”

“Wait here,” he said. “I’ll fetch it.”

He returned downstairs, hefted the box under his arm, and took it upstairs. Anna’s expression morphed into one of confusion.

“A box?” she said.

“It’s what’s inside the box.” Carefully, John placed it on the bed and popped off the lid. Anna gasped as she peered at the wriggling ball of fluff.

“Oh, John, where did you get it?” she said as she moved in to stroke it.

“In the hotel, funnily enough,” he said. “The Lewises were complaining that they could hear something squeaking. They thought it was a mouse. When Josie and I went up to investigate, we found this little tyke under the bed. Which is, incidentally, why my face looks the way it does. The cat scratched me, and Josie smacked me with a book.”

Anna’s lips twitched as if she very much wanted to laugh. “How did it get in?”

“I don’t know, but it’s obviously a stray. I wasn’t really sure what to do with it, so I thought I’d bring it here.”

“You did the right thing,” said Anna at once, stroking a finger down one tiny ear. “Do we know the sex?”

“A boy,” he supplied.

“I’m going to think of a name for him,” she decided, then cast him a concerned look. “Do you think we can afford to keep him?”

He frowned. “I don’t see why not.”

“It’s just—” she started, then caught herself, shaking her head. “Never mind.”

John eyed her curiously, but decided not to press. Not yet, at least. He stood back. “Can I leave him in your care while I get back to our son?”

“You can,” she said. “I’ll get him something to eat and set him up a bed in the kitchen. I’m sure we’ve got some old blankets somewhere that can be of use.”

“Don’t overexert yourself,” he advised. “I’m sure the doctor counselled you to rest, whatever you might not be saying.”

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue. He bent in and kissed her before she could grumble.

“I’d better head back,” he said. “I’ll see you for dinner. If you need anything at all, call me. I’ll be right there.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said. “I’ll see you later. Have a good afternoon.”

“I will,” he said; at least, he hoped he would.

His hope wouldn’t quite hold out.

-- --

He could hear Jack’s ear-splitting shrieks from the lobby.

Hurrying back towards the office, he flung open the door to find Josie in almost the same state as his son.

“He won’t stop, Mr. Bates!” she wailed. “How do you cope!?”

With grim determination, he thought, but reached for his little boy. “You get back to your duties, Josie. I’ll take over from here.”

The young woman had never looked so relieved to be told to get back to work. She handed the squalling baby over and raced out of the room as if she feared he might change his mind.

John limped over to his desk and settled himself down. He pulled Jack away from his shoulder and held him in the cradle of his arms, peering down into his face. Were his teeth bothering him again? He could try some of the remedies they had been recommended by the doctor again, even if they hadn’t worked the first time around.

“Please, darling,” he murmured to the disgruntled bundle in his arms, “please, tell Daddy what’s wrong. Tell Daddy what he can do to fix it.”

But it seemed that there was nothing that could be done. Jack’s screams reached a level that John thought that only dogs would be able to listen to comfortably.

There was one second of golden peace.

And then Jack vomited over his father’s freshly pressed suit.

For a moment, all John could do was blink, astounded. And then he swore loudly, stumbling over to the crib and planting Jack down on his bottom. He swore again, looking around frantically for something that he could use to mop the disgusting deposit from his front. Of course, just when he needed it, there was nothing available.

And, lord, did it stink. It wasn’t the first time that Jack had been sick down him, and he doubted that it would be the last, either, but it was frustrating that it had happened on his best suit, on a day that had already been going to so poorly for him. The last thing he needed was for his guests to see him in such a state. It was no good. He was going to have to go home to get changed.

Pacing to the door, he pulled it open and called for Josie. She popped her head cautiously out from where she was setting up the dining room for the evening meal, and her eyes widened when she saw him.

“What happened!?” she asked, bounding over.

He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Jack happened. I think he cried so much he made himself sick.”

It was a reluctant offer, but it was made nevertheless. “Is there anything you’d like me to do?”

He sighed. He hated to concede defeat, but he could see no other way. “Would you mind if you took him home for me? I’ll have to follow shortly to change before anyone else sees me, but I’m wondering if being back in his mother’s arms might do the trick. Anna has always had the touch when it comes to him. He’s his father’s son when it comes to bending to her will.”

Josie smiled slightly. “Give him here, then. And don’t worry, I’ll be able to hold the fort while you’re gone. I’ll let you know when I’m back so you can follow.”

John nodded gratefully. He whiled away the time by locking his papers away in his desk and making sure everything was left in an orderly fashion. If there was one thing he hated, it was mess.

It took Josie a little while longer than he’d expected, but eventually she reappeared, flushed, eyes sparkling. John frowned at her.

“What is it?” he asked, but she shook her head.

“Nothing,” she said breathlessly, belied by her grin. “Go home, Mr. Bates, and stay home. I’m sure Mrs. Aldred and I can handle everything between us, and it’ll be time for Mr. Locke to return soon enough.”

John stared. “Why would I do that? I’m not ill. It’s just a change of clothes that I need. It’s hardly fair to leave you with all of the work. You do far more than you need to as it is.”

She waved it away. “I like working here. It’s nice. And I just think that you deserve a few hours with Mrs. Bates.”

“Well, it’s not as if I won’t see Mrs. Bates later…” It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend the time with Anna. Christ, there was nothing he enjoyed more. But nor did he want to feel like he was shirking his responsibilities to his hotel and to the people who worked with him. It was hardly fair if he went swanning off home when the others had to remain.

But Josie was surprisingly stern. “Go, Mr. Bates. It won’t hurt just this once. I know Mrs. Aldred will agree with me.”

“Fine,” he said, more irritated than he’d intended. “But if you need me for anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

“I won’t,” she said. “Now, go.”

And so he did, tracing the well-worn path back to the cottage.

-- --

Wearily, John trudged through the door, stinking of sick, his face still throbbing from Josie’s unintended assault, his head pounding with the most ferocious headache he had ever felt. Now that it had been sanctioned, there was nothing he wanted more than to bathe, crawl into bed, and forget this nightmare day had ever happened. Kicking off his shoes, he leaned his cane against the wall, closed the door behind him, and took a step forward into the hall…

…And immediately let out a yelp, almost stumbling over as he quickly recoiled from the source of the sharp pain. He swore with colourful language he hadn’t used since his army days, leaning back against the wall as he gingerly leaned down a little to rub at his stockinged foot. Bloody hell, how had Jack’s blocks got out? He was hardly at an age when he could make too much of a mess himself, so that must mean that Anna had left it there. But why would she? She abhorred mess, the housemaid in her needing to straighten out every last crease and sweep away every single speck of dust. So why would she willingly leave a mess out in the hall? To what purpose, when he had hardly been in the mood for playing when Josie had taken him home? Perhaps that was how Anna had calmed him (for he could hear no screaming now)? Frowning, John picked up the offending block. It was emblazoned with the letter P. They’d thought that buying blocks with the letters on would help Jack, in time, with his alphabet and his spelling. They’d agreed that it would be a good idea for him to know as much as possible before it was time to go to school. Jack already seemed to enjoy the soothing lull of a read book; John hoped that he would enjoy reading for the pleasure of it in the same way that he and Anna did. Anna was certain that no Bates child could be anything less than a voracious consumer of the written word.

Not even the thought of that could improve John’s mood. He stomped into the sitting room, almost standing on another brick that lurked in the threshold. Christ. What was going on? That boldly painted R seemed to taunt him. The E was by the small jumble, and he tossed them all together. So, Anna was definitely not in the vicinity. God knew what she’d needed the bricks for, then. At least she’d managed to settle their son. The silence was like a miracle to soothe his pounding head.

“John? Is that you?”

Anna’s voice was muffled. He limped back to the doorway. Should he shout, and dare risk disturbing Jack and the fragile peace?

“John?”

Anna didn’t seem in the mood to come to the top of the stairs to greet him. Scrubbing his hand down his face, he called as loud as he dared, “Yes, darling, it’s me.”

“You’re early.”

“Didn’t Josie tell you that your son threw up all over me? I’m going to have to do something about that before the stain sets in. And then I want a good, long soak in the tub.”

“Before you do that, can you come up here a minute?”

“Can it not wait ten minutes while I sort myself out?”

“No, it can’t.”

John huffed, taking a breath to compose himself. None of the misfortunes of today were Anna’s fault. He should be flying up those stairs to take care of her every need after how poorly she’d seemed that morning, even if she had seemed so much brighter when he’d brought Jack back across. It was just…well, was ten minutes to himself too much to ask for? It wasn’t even if he was using them for selfish purposes. He just wanted to get rid of this bloody sick.

But he knew to deny Anna would be madness, so he dragged himself back along the hall to the stairs. Like a man headed for the gallows, he heaved himself upstairs, coming to a pause when he realised that there was yet another bloody cube halfway up. What on earth was this all about? He swiped it up, barely giving it a second glance: G.

There was another at the top of the stairs. John paused again, frowning. All right, this had to be some kind of mad game. It was the only thing he could think of. Like a trail. He felt very much like Hansel and Gretel, following the breadcrumbs to the witch’s door. For the first time since this morning, he felt the needle of anxiety prick. Was there something wrong? What voiceless scheme was at work here? Was Anna trying to tell him something?

N.

He crept forward, the anxiety growing and roaring. All thoughts of the sick stain and the awful day he’d had were forgotten in the face of Anna’s strange behaviour. The stray A cube was nestled by the bathroom door.

Another N lay before their closed bedroom door. Swallowing, John bent to retrieve it, and took a deep breath, half-afraid of what he would find on the other side of the wood.

He pushed it open.

Anna stood in the middle of the room, still clad in her nightgown, her hair in a messy braid, looking so small in just her bare feet.

In her hands was one final block: T.

Standing there, the cogs in John’s head slowly began to turn, putting the pieces together.

P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T-

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.

He took a step forward on legs that were decidedly wobbly. For a wild moment, he wondered if his right leg would hold him, he was shaking so badly, like he had come down with the fever that he and Anna had been so sure had struck her just this morning. He tried to get his mouth to form words.

“Are you—is this—when did it—” he said, stumbling over the words, then shook his head, giving a thick, rasping laugh. “Say it, Anna. For the love of God, say it.”

The smile that crawled across her face was slow and wholly joyful. There was no other description for it: she simply lit up with unfettered wonder. She was beautiful.

Her voice wavered as she spoke. “It’s true, John. I’m pregnant.”

Pregnant.

Somehow, hearing that word spoken aloud made them seem even more surreal. Another baby. God, he had hoped that they could be so lucky again, but he hadn’t pinned all of his dreams on it. He would have been more than content with just their darling Jack, but they had always longed for a bigger family…

It seemed almost too good to be true.

“When—how—?” he stuttered, laughing.

“John Bates, if you don’t know how by now then I must be doing something seriously wrong,” she laughed in reply, the wide beam on her face almost threatening to split it in two. There were unshed tears glistening in her eyes. She switched the block into her left hand, her right moving down to cradle the tiny, tiny swell of her stomach. “And the when…well, the doctor says I’m a couple of months gone. I…I told him about the trouble we’d had conceiving our Jack, and he suggested that I make an appointment for the cerclage as soon as possible.”

“Yes, of course.”

She ducked her head, looking at him from under her lashes. “I know it’s not the most ideal time.”

“How do you make that one out?”

“Well, it’s been a hectic seven months as it is, what with Jack and then the move here just a few months ago. Now we’ve got the little kitten. I’ve named him Earl Grey, by the way.”

John stared, momentarily derailed as he stared at the tiny bundle of fur that was currently curled up on the end of their bed. “What?”

“Earl Grey,” she repeated, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Like the tea. And we worked for an earl for a very long time. I think it’s perfect.”

Her tone of voice just dared him to argue, but John blanched at the idea of having to shout Earl Grey for everyone to hear.

“Isn’t he a bit little for that name?” he asked desperately. “What’s wrong with Smoky?”

“Every grey cat from here to London is probably called Smoky,” came Anna’s prim reply. “Besides, he’ll grow into the name. He’ll be a majestic, regal earl by adulthood.”

The kitten rolled on the bed, squeaking. John couldn’t quite see that happening.

Anyway,” said Anna, turning their discussion swiftly away, “the point I was trying to make is this: we’re still trying to find our feet, and we haven’t got that much money left over. We’ve been trying to save every penny we can in case we need it on a rainy day, but now this completely changes everything.”

“What does it change?” he demanded. “It doesn’t change anything from where I stand, unless you count making life even more wonderful.”

“But the money,” she said hesitantly. “I’m absolutely overjoyed by this, please don’t mistake me, but—”

He crossed the room towards her in two strides. Before he could wrap her up, however, she kept him at arm’s length.

“Take the jacket off first,” she pleaded. “I don’t fancy being covered in baby sick.”

The knowledge had gone clean out of his mind. Chuckling, he shrugged it off, letting it pool on the floor. She seemed satisfied that he was now sick free, and nothing could stop him from wrapping her up in a fierce hug. She melted against him, her own arms coming up to squeeze him tight.

“Please, don’t worry,” he begged her. “We’ll make it work. We’ve always managed before, haven’t we? We’ll manage this too.”

“I thought we’d have longer to prepare for this,” she confessed. “Jack is only seven months old. We waited and tried for years before he came along, and now we’re pregnant again in such a short space of time?”

“Perhaps it really is true when they say worrying about having a child isn’t productive to having one,” he mused. “We’ve both been a lot happier in the last year. Maybe that’s all we needed. A true chance to enjoy being happy and content.”

“Silly beggar,” she admonished, her cheeks pinking, no doubt reflecting on some of those very happy times they had shared, the latest just the night before last. He leaned in, catching her mouth in a sweet kiss.

“Anytime we’re welcoming another member to our tribe is the right time for it to happen,” he said. “It’ll be nice for them, being so close in age. And Jack will be a wonderful big brother. He has your sweet temperament, after all.”

Anna’s eyes shimmered bright blue through the veil of tears. Before he could speak again, she pulled him to her, meshing her mouth against his in a firmer and more enthusiastic display of how much his words clearly meant to her. He let his hands drift to her hips, pulling her tighter to him and holding her there while her fingers threaded through his hair. After a few moments he pulled away, determined to tease her. After all, she managed to find some way to tease him almost every day.

“This morning you didn’t want me to catch what you had,” he said in amusement, though certainly not enjoying her change of heart any less than enthusiastically.

“I don’t think you can catch what I have, Mr. Bates,” she said tartly, and he chuckled. She had him there.

“Perhaps not,” he conceded. “But I can still be the proudest man around for everything that you’ve given me. I am so blessed to have you, and little Jack, and our new baby too. It’s beyond my wildest imaginings. Thank you so much, Anna.”

“I could hardly have done it alone,” she said, “but you’re welcome. I’m glad you’re pleased.”

“I couldn’t be more so,” he said. “How do you think Jack will take the news?”

“He’s far too young to understand any of it. He’ll only remember always having a sibling. I suppose it’s good in that way: he’ll never be jealous if he’s never known any different.”

“I still can’t wait to tell him. A big brother already. He’ll fill the role admirably.”

A thought suddenly occurred to him. “Does Josie know?”

Anna dipped her head. “Yes, actually. I wanted you to be the first to know, but when she explained that she’d brought Jack and you were coming over just for a few minutes, I had to tell her in case you were delayed here a little longer than she expected. She was the one who suggested that you stay at home. She was over the moon, bless her.”

“She’s a good girl,” John mused. “And I will go back in a little while. But she’s right. I do want to spend a little time with my family.”

There was a cry from along the hall. Ten minutes ago, the sound might have made him wince, not because he didn’t love everything about his boy with his whole heart, but because he had wanted just a snatched moment to himself. Now, he wanted nothing more than to go to him, to reunite the family properly. All four of them together.

“Let’s go,” he murmured. “We shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Despite what the doctor keeps telling us,” Anna teased, but she offered no resistance, instead slipping her hand into his and leading him away.

Jack was sitting up in his crib when they arrived. Thankfully, he was not crying. A small mercy indeed. John bent down to him, lifting him high into his arms. Anna’s hand came up to caress their son’s back, and John wrapped his spare arm around her waist, pulling her close to his side, keeping them all so close to him. His perfect, perfect family.

“Right then, young man,” he began, “we have some very important news for you.” He glanced one more time at Anna’s beaming face before sliding back to his son’s, who was smiling himself for the first time in a while. “You see, Mummy and I have just found out that you’re going to be a big brother…”

Jack gurgled, as if excited by the prospect, and suddenly every factor which had indicated that it would be a very bad day for John Bates was transformed.

He could hardly remember having a better one.

[basicallynah]

Feeling at Home

Being stuck in university knowing my loving and caring boyfriend Shawn, is waiting for me back in Canada, since he’s got a couple months break from tour and luckily for me winter break starts next week but for me starts as soon as I get on that plane tomorrow morning.  

“Hi baby” I smile, through the screen accepting Shawns facetime. “Babe, I really wish you weren’t still in New York. I really miss you” He pouted, making smooching kissing noises. Laughing at his usual dorky self, I can’t help feeling like the luckiest girl alive knowing I get to spend the next month with him, all day, everyday.

“I really can’t wait to see you. It feels like it’s been longer than a few weeks” I admired Shawn, being only 18 and leaving home for long periods of time to pursue his dream. In a way he’s one of the reasons that I’m reminded everyday that if I stick in at university and pass all my tests I’ll be able to live my dream just like my handsome boyfriend. 

“I can’t wait for my parents and sister to finally meet you as well” Shawn, beamed at me. I was nervous, I know his parents know a lot about me but our 3 year age gap makes me nervous. I don’t want his parents thinking I go around preying on young boys like some middle aged cougar that’s into boy toys.

 “I’m nervous” I admitted, a sigh escaping my lips as I packed a few last minute things. “More about our age gap than anything else” Throwing myself onto my bed. “Baby, I promise they’ll love you and I’ve spoke to them about the age difference and they honestly couldn’t care less unless you were some 50 year old” He laughed, seeming rather amused with himself.

 “Shawn, this isn’t funny!” I whined like a child. “Their opinion of our relationship is really important too me” I suppose wanting Shawn’s parents approval is really important too me because I’m not very close with my parents and I haven’t been since I was a teenager. Acting out and giving them what for kinda pushed them away instead of pulling towards me like most parents do when their child acts out. We talk every so often on the phone but it’s a two minute conversation every few months.  

“I know it does baby” Shawn, knew about my relationship with my parents and I was thankful when he didn’t bring them up in certain situations. “Get some sleep and I’ll see you in a few hours” Smiling, like a little kid on Christmas day. “I love you” Blowing a kiss through the screen, Shawn, pretending to grab it, holding it towards his chest. “I love you too”. Leaving the airport was easier than previous times but I suppose this time there wasn’t any need for fans to be there knowing Shawn is already at home. The drive from Toronto airport to Pickering took just over an hour, traffic being slightly heavy for an early Saturday morning, guess a lot of folk have family and friends flying in this weekend. Shawn and I kept the conversation to a minimum with my nerves, one of the many things I love about him is he knows when I’m nervous there’s only so much talking I can do, depending on the reason for my nerves.   Pulling into the drive way, Shawn parked the car, turning the engine off before taking my hand in his, comfortingly running his thumb along my knuckles. “Look, baby, I know you’re nervous but my parents and sister are honestly so excited too meet you. Aaliyah won’t stop going on at me about finally having a girl around that she can talk too about stuff my mom and I wouldn’t understand” I couldn’t help but smile at that, making the nervous sickness I was feeling slowly disappearing. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, calming myself down, I squeezed Shawns hand before leaning over the console and pecking his cheek. “I’m ready” I smiled, opening the door and getting ready to meet the parents.   “We’re back” Shawn, shouted dropping my bags by the door, the sound of footsteps getting closer towards us. I grabbed Shawn’s hand squeezing for dear life as the moth like butterflies swarmed in my stomach.   Aaliyah, came running in between their parents and charging straight at me attacking me in a hug like what I do when Shawn’s been gone for months on end. “I’m so happy you’re here” She spoke excitedly, her voice slightly muffled from hugging me so tight. “I am too” Wrapping my arms tightly around her.

“I’m Manny and this is my wife Karen” Shawn’s dad introduced noticing Shawn, takes after his dad with a few of his features. “And you’ve already met Aaliyah” Manny, laughed prying his daughter away from me. “It’s really nice to meet all of you” I smiled, offering my hand to both.

 “We’ll let you get settled and then we can get started on lunch” Karen, smiled at me, grazing my arm lovingly as the three of them walked back into the livingroom.

Shawn, grabbed my bags even when I tried to help, showing me up to his room. “Didn’t I say they would love you” He gloated as I closed his door behind us. “Yeah, yeah Mendes” Waving him off, throwing myself on his bed as I took in his room. A lot of hockey jerseys, guitars and a mic stand.

“I can’t believe I’m in the room you’ve grown up in” I grinned, leaning on my elbows as I took a proper look around his room. Just by looking around you knew a musician lived in it but also a lot of little things that reminded me this was also a teenage boys room, like the little brown tatty teddy lying in one of the corners behind one his guitar stands.

“Sometimes I forget you’re so young” It wasn’t a bad thing, I just forgot because he handles himself in such a mature, head on, responsible way. “Does it bother you?” He asked, sitting on the window ledge. We’ve never really spoke about it much.

“Honestly, it really doesn’t because what’s 3 years? What does that compare too when, we have a lot in common, a real connection that we’ve been lucky to find at such an age without having to go through a hand full of horrible break ups” This is honestly how I felt. ”All I know is right now being with you makes me the happiest I’ve been in a very long time and makes me feel like anything is possible, I have a bounce in my step now, a heartier laugh, it’s like being 15 years old again and falling in love for the first time" Standing in front of him, seeing that sparkle in his eye like every time he looks at me. Karen, had made us all a beautiful lunch with a fair share of a vegetarian option, feeling she would feel ignorant if she just kept a meat option not knowing what foods I ate because Shawn and I never bothered to let her know. But we managed to laugh about it and surprisingly eating more of the vegetarian than anything else.  

“So Y/N what is it you’re studying at university?” Manny, asked taking a sip of his beer. “Law. I would love to start out as a lawyer and hopefully by the time I retire a judge” This has probably been the only thing I’ve ever been serious about but now I have Shawn to add too that list and it makes my heart swell.

“Good head on your shoulders. Don’t let anyone take that from you” Manny, advised. “Thanks Mr Mendes but trust me I don’t plan on letting anyone take this away from me” I’ve thrown away a lot of possible potential opportunities over the years but this last year has honestly been the best by far.

“Shawn, keep this girl around. She’s good for you” Manny, winked. “Trust me dad, I don’t plan on letting her go anywhere” He smiled at me pecking my cheek making me blush with his mom and dad sitting right across from us.

“I think it’s nice having different careers in the family” Karen, joined in making me choke over my lemonade. “Y-y-you consider me family?” I stuttered, at there very opening acceptance. “Of course honey. Shawn’s had a few girlfriends but never has he looked or spoke about them the way he does you” I could feel the heat rising on my cheeks and I’m sure everyone could see. “Now, I know this is a sensitive subject for you dear, I know you aren’t close with your parents but we’re happy Shawn, has found someone who’s head strong, career driven and down to earth and we are happy to have you as apart of our family” I could feel the tears on the brink of escaping and I didn’t bother holding them back as I embraced Manny and Karen in a hug that I haven’t had from my own parents in over seven years.