#baby straight out the egg has stolen my heart

[rapidhighway]

I love thinking about kid knuckles

[bellafragolina]

Thank you for continuing to feed peasants like us, king

May we have subway bros with pokemon professor s/o? I like to pretend my brain is beeg sometimes

And if it's not too much, laventon with fellow professor s/o? I had no feeling for that guy but GOD you're making me feel THINGS for that guy

you're welcome, my dearest serf lolol. also, ye ye, join me in laventon loving hell. he's a sweetheart of a man that deserves to be spoiled with love and affections until he's blushing so hard he nearly faints <3

🍓🍓🍓

Ingo:

Ingo respects the hell out of you. Your research is groundbreaking in your field, and Ingo knows this very well. He's dedicated a lot of time to studying your field of interest, especially before you two got together, in hopes of impressing you with intelligent conversations regarding your work. Emmet has barely held back from just telling you straight that Ingo did all of that to impress you. He's saving it for his best man speech at your wedding

Whenever you go out in the field, Ingo would like to come with! He's always had a great interest in Pokémon, and he's curious as to what you do for work. He wants to help out if he can as well, and spend time with you doing the things that you love to do. Seeing you bright-eyed from doing your research makes his heart sing

Should your research ever take you out of Unova, Ingo will support you so much. He mourns you leaving like you've gone off to war, but he refuses to hold you back. Besides, you'll return to him someday. But for now, he's more morose and heartsick as he waits for the time to call you to tick over. Send him pictures of you doing things, he wants to see you're doing well. He'll send pictures of his team, who all miss you very much. Crustle has stolen some of your clothes, and Haxorous refuses to move from the door, waiting for you to walk through and give her kisses. It makes you want to come home quicker, but don't worry. They can wait; they're just going to smother you when you're finally home <3

Emmet:

He is very very very interested in your work. Let's say your field is related to Pokémon breeding and egg types and such, then Emmet is quickly becoming your assistant. He offers to help your research through his Joltik breeding, as the spiders are easy to hatch in large broods. And his Galvantula loves her babies, so she's always happy to have more!

Emmet adores working with you if you let him. Being able to combine two of his favorite things, Pokémon breeding and spending time with you, means the world to him. He's always ecstatic to work with you, and has annoyed the pants off of several of his coworkers, friends, and family rambling to death about your research, and more so you performing said research and being so lovely about it

If you travel for research, Emmet if very torn about either following you or staying behind with the subway. If it's a shorter trip, he'll come along as a vacation for him, exploring the new region with you when not aiding in your research. If it's longer, however, he's forced to stay behind. And he misses you sorely the entire time. He mopes and bemoans how alone he is to all the people still with him, acting like a damsel about to befall an untimely death due to heartbreak. He calls you several times every day if he can, and bombards your phone with photographs and videos, begging for some of you as well, so he can feel like he's still with you even with you so far away. Be careful once you return, you're getting tackled by a full grown man and his entire team

Laventon:

Laventon is down bad, so bad. Your research, whether it aligns with his own or not, is so interesting to him. He wants to hear everything you have to say about the subject, from the most basic facts to the most minute of details. Whatever it is, he either has his own two cents to contribute or questions to ask. He'll even take notes if he can.

Laventon is so supportive of you. Every single one of your accomplishments he has displayed with full pride. He tells anyone who even glances in its general direction all about what it is, what you did to get it, and how proud he is of you for being so amazing. He's very flustered should you return the favor with his own accomplishments, like the Pokédex, but he appreciates it. He's very touched to have his work recognized by someone who is also a professor, and you being his lover makes it extra special

A lot of y'all's outdoor dates because research trips, either regarding his field, yours, or both at the same time. You'll take notes, compare them, grow excited over the data, then forget why you were even outside in the first place. That's not to say these trips aren't romantic. You give each other kisses and hugs for new things discovered, or progress made. And the end of the day is spent rambling back and forth, so happy to be with one another, doing what you both love <3

🍓🍓🍓

good boys <3

hope you enjoyed it love! have a good night <3

~Renee

[etherealtobio]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐩𝐭. 𝟏

part 2

— haikyuu characters and what they’d do to help you sleep ♡

— feat. akaashi, atsumu, bokuto, hinata, kageyama, kita, osamu, suna, and tsukishima

— contains: gn!reader, established relationships, food mentions, slight manga spoilers, & slight crack bc that's just how it is <3

— a/n: this is for my beloved insomniacs, and here's my first headcanon !! LETSGOOO <3 i hope u enjoy and pls reblog if u liked it !! part 2 is up now╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

⇨ 𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 reads you a book !! have you heard of his voice ?? SO soothing which will lull you to sleep <3 he asks you what book you want him to read but he sometimes insists on reading you stories you haven't heard before, just because he knows you'll love what he picks. sometimes would make fun of you and would search the web to read smut. he says it'll make you uncomfy and force you to sleep. you know the ones that are so explicit? yeah, we won't elaborate on that. don't ask me how he reads them with a straight face. "akaashi, please stop" "but this is really good" "yeah but i wouldn't be able to take you seriously" "then i'll read more passionately" "babe if you don't sTOP-"

⇨ 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔 is SO hyper. mans still has energy after volleyball practice and doesn't hesitate to ask you if you "wanna pillow fight?" ?? then proceeds to hit you before you even begin to talk. you gasp in shock as he hits your face so you try to hit him back, but the way he sways his pillow onto you is so strong which overpowers your will to do so. how strong is this man anyway ?? his last hit makes you fall back onto the bed, then he lays down beside you to trap you in his arms. "you tired?" "yes, 'tsumu, now let me go" "no" "you should've just asked if you wanted to cuddle so we can sleep" baby just wanted snuggies after all :')

⇨ 𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎 asks "you can't sleep? mE TOO" then turns the TV on to watch a movie with you <3 he storms out the room before the movie starts and grabs a bowl of popcorn on the way back and you chose not to mind the ones that fell on the floor when he ran back to you. he likes cuddles and initiates to be the big spoon bc he wants you to be comfy. he'd pick a romcom so both of you would feel light-hearted before sleeping. but really, it's just an excuse for him to avoid watching horror movies with you, and you insist otherwise. "bo, why don't you want to watch a horror movie anyway?" "i'd be too scared to sleep" "but i'm here?" "i have you and me that i have to protect from ghosts ok" i can imagine him instantly standing up just when he hears a strange noise coming out of nowhere HFJSDGF A BIG BABY

⇨ 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀 is really excited to hear that you can't sleep because he was too hyper to do so. will ask you if you wanted to bike with him. bike ?? but he insists Miyagi's roads are safe to stroll around at night. he grabs the two bikes for you and both of you start to talk about life under the starry night <3 "what do you think of my spikes" "hinata, you ask me this literally everyday" "but you give me the best compliments!!" "fine, you're really good. but next time don't hit kageyama's head while serving" "you don't have to bring that up!!1!" all the cycling made you tired, so as you get back home, you feel drowsy and tired enough to fall asleep, and he is as well <3

⇨ 𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀 tells you that it’s good to drink milk before sleeping. he actually does this and you notice that he’s fast asleep afterwards (when does he ever not drink milk anyways ??). whenever you tell him you can’t sleep, he makes sure that there’s a stock of milk cartons in the fridge just to make sure to never run out <3 “i can’t sleep” “how about you drink your milk” “but i'm gonna feel full” “well i’m not one who has a messed up sleep schedule, boke” he didn’t have to call you out like that 😔 but he got out of bed to pour you a glass of milk regardless <3

⇨ 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐀 is really strict with you since he knows how sleep is important to you. he will NOT hesitate to wait for you to say that you can’t sleep. instead, he would give you lavender-scented candles and an eye mask before bedtime. he also cooks you boiled eggs since he says it helps with the melatonin, but will give you a tart cherry juice instead if you preferred not to eat <3 vERY responsible boyfriend, don't argue with me on this !! he'd also tell you to do the 4-7-8 breathing technique if you still can't sleep. "are you sure this will help?" "Obachan told me about this technique and it makes me fall asleep faster, try it" then proceeds to cuddle you whilst you do it. before you know it, you're already fast asleep !! although you'd have to ask him the next day about which helped you sleep faster <3

⇨ 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 insists to cook you something. you told him you were too hungry to sleep, so he brings you to the kitchen so you can watch him cook :') he says ramen is too heavy to digest at night so he cooks you miso soup instead !! this soup contains a lot of benefits so he's more than glad to offer you something that will be good for you <3 you watch him prepare all the ingredients before putting it altogether like magic. even if you don't like miso, the way he cooks it will be a life-changer for you because this man not only cooks, he cooks with passion !! you both devour the carefully-made soup then head back to your room to prepare to sleep <3 "did you like it?" "i did, 'samu, it tasted really good" "don't make yourself hungry before bedtime next time" but really, you just can't resist his perfect food recipes <3

⇨ 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀 shows you his stolen pics of the team (especially atsumu LOL) which makes you both laugh so hard your cheeks and stomachs hurt !! he would also tell you the backstory of each picture so you would know the context. there are several questionable scenes, one of which is kita massaging his forehead in the background while atsumu flashes his butt to the team inside the locker room. another one is a blurred selfie with the team in the background dancing to tiktok songs. "and if you look closely, you'll see a disappointed aran" "i bet this was atsumu's idea" "yeah, especially this one song where you throw it back." both of you get exhausted with the laughing and cackling so you finally fall asleep afterwards, with his arm around your waist <3

⇨ 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀 gives you his giant dinosaur plushie. you’d be confused at first, because he doesn’t let anyone, not even yamaguchi, touch those plushies he cherishes very dearly. he actually has to choose since he has a ton of these in different dinosaur species. you know this, because he snuggles with different ones every night. you know that meme with the girlfriend sleeping with her 500 dollar four foot tall mareep? yep, that’s the sitch 😔 heart been broke so many times. BUT tsukishima is actually sweet enough to let you hold his plushies. “tsukki,, i can’t sleep” “here, have this T-rex” “but you don’t let anyone touch your plushies” “these help me sleep and it’s you anyways, take it” 🥺🥺🥺 then he insists to put the plushie between you both so he can cuddle it as well. tsukki said sharing is caring <3

©️ ETHEREALTOBIO - do not copy, translate, or repost

[gojoed]

I posted 8,464 times in 2022

That's 8,414 more posts than 2021!

1,518 posts created (18%)

6,946 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ bakugou-source

@ scarekat

@ gojosattoru

@ kage7ama

@ boo-kugo

I tagged 7,249 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#katsuki &lt;;33 - 1,687 posts

#mha &lt;;33 - 620 posts

#jaegh &lt;;33 - 512 posts

#blegh - 359 posts

#dabi &lt;;33 - 285 posts

#touya &lt;;33 - 272 posts

#jjk &lt;;33 - 222 posts

#kuroo &lt;;33 - 200 posts

#!! - 186 posts

#izuku &lt;;33 - 167 posts

Longest Tag: 84 characters

#🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I just.. I had a thought.

can you just imagine bakugo being an itamae? an itamae is what we most know as a hibachi chef. can you imagine an au where before bakugo became a chef who owned his own restaurant that is his pride and joy, he was an itamae?

seeing him roll in with his cart of ingredients and greeting everyone at the table. the tall red hat standing on top of his head that smoothed down his blonde tufts against his forehead and the nape of his neck.

bakugo asking with a straight face if there’s anyone who’s celebrating anything. and then he starts his routine.

he’s banging the cooking utensils to a rhythm he knew by heart. all the while he’s preparing the grill with oil. he does the usual displays that an itamae does. the onion tower that sets on fire, the beating rice heart, the egg hat trick.

while he doesn’t smile or laugh like the other itamae’s he has this small smirk to his face whenever he plays around with his utensils. flipping and spinning and throwing things in the air as if it were nothing.

and who knows, maybe you might have not have noticed but maybe he, bakugo, was staring at you the whole time.

277 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#4

idiot in love

thinking about being the only person who can make bakugo laugh. sure he does cackles, shrieks, and does boisterous laughs but you make him do the ones that leave him in tears. the belly laughs that have him snorting at least once and having the air stolen out of his lungs. the laughs that make his heart jump. the laughs that leaves a faint pink tinge on his cheeks. the laughs that sounds more like a chuckle, a small one, a hum. you make him laugh like an idiot in love. because he is, for you. 

285 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

#3

prepared

dad suna dad suna dad suna. i have a feeling that when you and suna become parents, you would be the one holding the phone this time. so suna better be prepared for the times where your child, still a baby, has taken a dump in their diapers and oh god it would stink, and suna has to be the one to clean him up. he better be prepared when he sees you take out your phone to record him while trying to snuff out your laughter because of the face he pulled when checking your baby’s diaper. guess now he knows how his friends felt back in middle school whenever he recorded them.

293 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

#2

what sticks

headcannons on what they think look good on you including: the main trio of bnha

bakugo: chapstick

this man is a sucker for chaptick. he never understood a girls appeal to wanting to have shiny lip gloss or matte lipstick of all shades as he was focused on being a hero. but the thing that really stuck to him with you was chapstick. you used the standard carmex, cherry flavored, and also one that was mint, he didn’t remember what brand that one was. but he loved the way it left your lips soft, their natural color could send him into a daze, although he didn’t want to admit it. he especially loved the burn it left whenever you kissed. it stung at his own lips, and it made him smell like you. just another way of him being close to you.

deku: scarves

scarves, scarves, scarves. this man is in love with scarfs, just look at the one he wears for winter. he has scarves of all colors and designs. he loves seeing them on you though. he couldn’t explain it, but seeing you nuzzle your face in it while sitting down on the train on the way to school, it made him fill with a sense of pride. what was his made you feel safe. that was all he needed. he especially also loved matching scarves.

todoroki: turtlenecks

turtlenecks. oh god have you seen this man and his collection? his casual outfit when at home was comfortable yet fashionable slacks and a goddamn turtleneck. he loved seeing them on you too. you stole [when really he just gave it to you because the cold season was coming around] his favorite one, which happened to be a dark shade of blue that he loved. and he loved it even more when you wore it, it made him wrap his arms around you from behind and place his head on your shoulder. seeing you duck your head into the collar of these makes him want to dedicate a whole entire album of photos just to keep a permanent memory of seeing you like this. he also thinks they come in handy whenever he leaves a hickey or two on you.

See the full post

348 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“bakugo come on, we’re gonna be late!”

it was morning on a thursday, the sky seemed calm. there was no evident sign of the sun in the sky, only pale grey clouds covering it like a blanket. it was winter after all. you stood by the gate entrance of the home of the bakugo’s, waiting for probably one of the loudest kids in the neighborhood to show up already.

“bakugo, i swear to god, i’m leaving without you if you don’t hurry up!”

“ok, jesus y/n wait the fuck up!”

“i’ve been waiting for five minutes already, we gotta go!”

“then wait five more!”

he always knew how to retaliate your comments you gave him. both of you never really gave each other a chance to have a consistent winner in these games of screaming back and forth. you sighed for what seemed the umpteenth time. there was a little breeze coming in, so you hugged the jacket that covered your uniform closer to you. 

“bakugo!” you yelled a third time, a little irritated that he was taking so long, he never took long.

“y/n!” he yelled back, in the same tone as you did, asshole.

bakugo finally rushed out of his home's door, pausing only to hop slightly to adjust his shoes. he ran towards you with his light brown scarf in his hand. he huffed while wrapping it around his neck. 

“damn you can’t even wait a few minutes, impatient ass.”

“well you were taking too long while i was starting to feel my ass freeze over.“

he snorted and retorted with something along the lines of, “what ass?”

you rolled your eyes at him and walked along the sidewalk. it was thursday, a school day, and ever since you started going to school with bakugo, you were never late. so it seemed odd to you that all of a sudden to see him taking longer than he normally would have.

“soooo, why were you taking so long? forgot your underwear or something?”

“the fuck, hell no! i was just looking for something.”

“something? oh come on you’re not even going to give me a little hint to what made you so panicky this fine morning? you even made the clouds worried.”

bakugo gave you the stink eye. but at the same time he moved his left hand out of his pocket where he always seemed to stuff it in. he pulled out a glittery object, the size of a card. well maybe because it was a card, an all might card.

“i was looking for this you idiot.”

“...you know show and tell stopped like in elementary school, right?”

“of course i know!“ bakugo yelled back at you, he shoved it back in his pocket along with his hand. there was a moment of silence between you two, before he sighed and mumbled.

“i’ve always had it on me, you remember when i got those chips with deku and my old friends back then?” 

“the all might chips? yeah i remember those.”

“remember the card i showed you that i got from them?”

you shook your head slightly, to signal a ‘no’ until your mind went back to the card in his pocket. you let out a loud ‘oh!’.

“wait, but why do you still have it?” you wanted to know. those chips were just any old merchandise that helped all might’s name and company earn more money. any other kid could have had it. 

bakugo took another long line of silence before opening his mouth again. the tips of his ears were tinged a now slight pink, and it didn’t look like it was from the cold.

“...i... always wanted to have all might autograph it. wouldn’t mean shit to me if he just signed a random paper, though.”

you remained quiet for a few seconds. so it was that important to him? wait so how long has that card been with him? has he really always carried it alongside him? a small smile grew on your face, remembering when he came over to your house with his friend group shouting how he got all might’s card. he was so happy he was practically bouncing off the walls.

“one day, i’m gonna make all might sign this!” 

See the full post

397 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[crystxlclear]

sudden desire

chapter fifteen: i’m single and incapable of mingle

part sixteen of sudden desire

warnings: mentions of pregnancy/infertility, pining, sweet, sweet pining, angst

word count: 2.9k

Marcus Pike hopes James Casey knows he’s the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. Because he gets to call Coraline Meyer his girlfriend.

They’ve been dating for a couple of months now - the longest few months of his entire life, he’s sure - and it’s fine.

Really, it’s fine.

He’s happy for them.

Because Coraline is happy. And she’s all that matters.

August bleeds into a snowy November and it’s even colder without her there. He doesn’t see her every day like he used to; she’s busy with work - filming and interviews and red carpets where she outshines everyone - and with James, because they’re together now and they’re okay.

And it’s fine.

She makes time for him. Of course she does. He’s her best friend and god knows she wouldn’t survive without him and his beautiful warmth, and the way he holds her just a little longer when they say their goodbyes for the night. But Marcus feels selfish when it hurts him to realise he doesn’t see her as much as he wants to, as much as he used to. But happiness truly looks good on her - she’s the sunshine when the sky turns slate grey - but, sometimes, she still falls into him and she cries, the weight of their loss still weighing heavy on her shoulders.

Marcus can’t find it in him to cry. Maybe he should, because it’s his loss too, but the ache holds his chest tight and terribly uncomfortable that crying sometimes feels too painful. He mourns in silence, with her there those snowy nights, beside him, and that’s enough for him. That’s all he can muster.

He’s started to date, too. Or, at least, tried to. Coraline’s eyes had lit up when he’d told her that the pretty girl from the office had asked him out, and she’d almost lost her mind when he’d told her he’d accepted. They’d been on a couple of dates - and she’d been lovely and the date had been lovely; really, it had - but his mind had been elsewhere. It wasn't her fault, because he’s sure if things had been different, he’s sure things would have been great.

But, somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s sure that it’ll always be Coraline.

At least, for now.

When they’re together, Coraline tries not to talk about him. They talk about everything and nothing, but she only brings him up when it’s almost unavoidable. She tells him about the dates they go on and about the daughter he has with his ex, the little girl that she’d adored before they even started dating, and who seems to adore her; the red-haired, rosy-cheeked four-year-old, Bea, who’s always giggling and asking her for candy. Coraline seems to treat the girl like she’s her own, but Marcus has yet to meet her. Or James, for that matter. She feels bad for droning on and on and on about James around him - she’d hate to bore him with tales of her lovelife - even though he listens with renewed interest and a smile on his face, every time.

But he’s her best friend, and Loren has heard it all before, and sometimes she can’t help spilling all her stories to him when they’re curled up beneath a blanket with their takeout, watching a shitty movie.

They try to do it every week, now. But they see each other far too little for either of their likings.

They still see each other, but those days of sharing apartments and waking up beside each other every morning, hoping and praying they’d have a baby to show from it, are long gone. Sometimes, Coraline lies awake at night and wishes he was still there, holding her close like she was this precious thing. James holds her, too, but it’s not the same. She can’t quite place why.

“Daniel’s worried about the gallery, again,” Coraline tells him, idly, over takeout. It’s Sunday night - and the week has been so long that they’d both practically collapsed onto his couch, exhausted and giggling at each other’s dishevelled and half-asleep appearance - and the only time they’d managed to see each other in between their hectic schedules. There’s a lot to catch up on, and Marcus fears it’ll be over too soon. “Some guy sat outside for two days last weekend, but he hasn’t seen him since.”

“Get him to give me a call,” he insists, “I’ll look into it.”

“Do you even have time?”

Marcus chuckles. “No-” He leans over and plucks an egg roll from Coraline’s carton, much to her displeasure. “-but I’ll find time.”

“Well-” Coraline reaches over, pokes him sharp in the arm with the end of a chopstick, and steals one of his dumplings from his tray. He smirks at her as she savours the taste of the stolen snack. “-I appreciate that, And I’m sure he will, too.”

“Anything for you, sunshine,” he hums.

“That sounds sarcastic.” She chuckles.

“Well, you did just steal my dumpling.”

She pokes him in the leg with her toe.

He grins.

“I’m serious, though. I’ll take a look into it for him.”

He misses those months when it seemed like he was part of the family. When he’d met her parents, had dinner with them and her brother, played with her nephews in the living room and rocked Piper to sleep one night when she’d grown tired in his arms. He misses that little cobbled-together family they’d built on the hope they’d soon have one of their own. His family are so far away - his parents and brother still in Texas, and rarely free long enough to come and visit - and Coraline gave him somewhere to belong.

She still does. With her, things seem to make a little more sense. The memories of Teresa and his first wife don’t seem to matter when he’s with her.

There’s a little silence; a comfortable one, at that, their familiarity still thick between them, despite the distance. Marcus breaks it with a question he’s been itching to ask. “How have you been?” It’s a heavy question, loaded with meaning; the question could refer to anything - to work, to life, to loss and sadness, or to James and his daughter that she sees as her own, now.

Her eyes raise to his, brown eyes that melt her soul, comfortable and wonderful.

There’s no necessity to his question. Marcus had asked because he cared, not because he had to. Coraline tips her head back against the sofa. “I’m doing good,” she admits, though it seems foreign coming from her. How dare she be happy when they’d lost so much, only a few months before? It feels wrong. “Really good.” She sighs. “How about you?”

Happy that you’re happy.

But miserable. Completely fucking selfishly miserable without you.

“Fine.” He brushes her question off.

Coraline narrows her eyes at him. She knows him too well; she can tell when he’s lying, and that’s the worst part of it all. She knows him better than anyone — cares for him more than anyone ever has, too — and she can see right through him. Through the facade and the lies he’s all too comfortable telling. She probably knows how much he adores her, too, but she’s just too lovely to admit she doesn’t feel the same way.

“Marcus-“ His name is urgent. She takes his cheeks in her palms.

It takes everything in him not to pour his heart out to her. “I’m fine.” He repeats.

“Promise?”

Another pause. More uncertainty. He hates lying to her, when she’s so honest with him. “Promise,” he says after a while.

Coraline eyes him, still sceptical. But her shoulders relax, just a little. “How’s it going with Lisa?”

Oh, he hasn’t told her. “Things didn’t work out.”

She pouts. “Why?”

She’s great but she isn’t you.

Marcus shrugs. “I’m not ready to date, yet.” I’m not over you. “I guess Teresa really did a number on me, huh?”

Coraline squints at him; the Marcus she knows is absent, hidden behind hesitation and something she can’t quite place, something that wavers whenever she looks at him. If she presses for answers, she’s terrified she’ll lose him. So she doesn’t. He’ll tell her when he’s ready.

If he’s ever ready.

She places her half-empty carton of food on the coffee table, leans forward and buries her face against his shoulder, arms wrapping tightly around his torso. Her cheek presses against his chest, warmth radiating through the thin material of his white shirt. He relaxes at the feeling of her curled into him, and the warmth of her at his side. “I missed you,” he sighs. His voice rumbles through her.

Coraline hums. She buries further into him, as if she could get lost in him. She has many times before. “I missed you, too. So much,” she whispered. Her words are muffled by his shirt. “Sorry I’ve been so busy lately.”

“That’s life for you.”

“But-“ she sits up stock-straight, and almost knocks into his chin with the top of her head. She utters a breathless apology because she carries on, with exuberant enthusiasm. It’s so damn infectious. “I’ve been writing a screenplay,” she tells him. “I started it about six months ago but I didn’t want to mention anything until I was committed.”

She’s always wanted to write one; she’d told him not long after they just met, when she’d sat and fiddled with the straw in her drink like what she was saying was hopelessly boring and not the most interesting thing in the world to him. She’d told him she was worried she had no stories worth telling, which seemed ridiculous to him, because he would sit and listen to her recount what she insists are silly little stories.

To him, they’re intricate poems and elegant ballads, and the most beautiful things he’s heard in all his years.

It’s no surprise, because the whole of her is priceless artwork; every inch deserves to be admired.

“I’m so proud of you,” he insists.

“Hey, don’t say that yet.” She drops back against the couch cushions behind her. “Could be terrible.”

“I doubt that, sunshine.”

Her green eyes light up bright again. “Will you read it?”

Marcus takes Coraline’s hand and his thumb brushes over her knuckles. “I’d be honoured.”

“Good, because I was intending on forcing you to read it, anyway.”

“On second thoughts-“ Marcus crosses his arms over his chest and smirks. He can’t help it. “-maybe it’s not a good idea for me to read it.”

The glare she gives him is playful. She’s back in his arms in an instant, cheek pressed back against his chest, eyes closed. “I really did miss you, you know?” She brushes a hand over his chest to keep him close after she reaches for her Chinese food again. “Let’s not make a habit of it.”

More comfortable silence.

He could almost fool himself into thinking they’re something more than friends.

And he almost does, until the doorbell rings and a soft rapping comes from the other side of the front door.

“I’ll get it,” Marcus declares, standing with a groan and a crack of his hips; he really shouldn’t be putting off gym training so much. Life’s starting to take its toll on his body. Life and takeout with Coraline. “You expecting someone?” He questions as he stretches out his long legs before him and shuffles towards the door.

“No.” Coraline can’t help the yawn that pushes its way from her chest. “It’s probably just someone selling something.” Her eyes follow him as he rounds the couch and disappears down the hallway towards the front door.

He reaches for the overly-elaborate doorknob; it’s carved with flowers, and brass juts out around it, like the rays of the sun. It’s all so typically Coraline, and it makes him smile every time. He’s greeted with a reminder of her whenever it’s time to leave.

And, when he opens the front door, he’s greeted with a reminder of all he can’t have.

“James! Hey!”

He’s greeted by James Casey blinking back at him, a big bouquet of flowers in his grasp, surely expecting to see his girlfriend and not some unfamiliar guy in her apartment. “Marcus! I didn’t realise you were here.” It’s not meant to sound rude; in fact, his expression is one of surprise, but not as if it’s a bad thing. His southern accent rips the edges of his words. “It’s great to finally meet you.” He tucks the flowers beneath one arm and extends the other hand for him to shake. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh-“ For some reason, the idea that she talks about him when he’s not there hits him. He can’t quite place whether he takes it as a good or a bad thing. Though Coraline’s stories usually paint people in wonderful technicolour. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.” He nods as he accepts his handshake.

He can’t help but feel a fool next to James; he’d turned up with flowers, bright and beautiful, and sunflowers, Coraline’s favourites, while Marcus had turned up with nothing but a greasy bag of takeout food and a smile. James rushes a hand through his short hair. Marcus smiles bright again, and goes to say something, but Coraline’s lilting voice interrupts the beginnings of their conversation. “James! What are you doing here?” She calls from down the hallway.

Marcus had been taking suspiciously long at the door, and she’d hauled herself up — reluctantly — from the comfort of the couch to see what was keeping him. She draws towards her best friend and her boyfriend, the pair of them surprisingly thick in conversation. She reaches them, drawing up on her tiptoes to kiss James, before her hand brushes against Marcus and she settles beside him in the doorway.

They both look at her like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

She definitely is.

“I managed to get the night off, so I thought I’d come and surprise you,” he tells her. His eyes flicker to Marcus; he’s trying his best not to look at either of them, stuck in the middle of this unavoidably awkward situation, but his eyes keep trailing back to Coraline. They always do. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t realise you had company.”

Coraline shakes her head. “It’s fine.” She giggles a little. “I wanted you both to meet, anyway. But we maybe could have planned it a little better.” She looks down at the yellow joggers and white vest she wears, the only things she feels comfortable in whenever they’re eating so much takeout they could burst.

There’s quiet for a moment, the three not knowing what to do or say, or even think. Marcus’ mouth opens and closes a couple of times, the words falling short; he’s sure he looks like a fish to Cora and James. “I can go,” he suggests sheepishly, eventually finding his words.

It’s terrible and selfish, but he can’t shake the feeling he’s being replaced again. He knows Coraline will always love him — maybe not in the same way he loves her, but she’s insisted he’s her best friend one too many times for it to be a lie — but it’s all too familiar, that the woman he loves loves someone else instead. The cycle seems endless.

“No!” Coraline insists, reaching for his hand. She squeezes his fingers between her palm. Marcus wonders, then, if James knows about their agreement, and why it fell apart. Coraline smiles up at him, bright like the sun. She spins to James a moment later. “Do you mind?” Her eyes are gentle, not quite pleasing but hopeful. “I haven’t seen him this week.”

“Don’t worry about it, darlin’.” He smiles bright at her in return and ducks to kiss her cheek. “We still on for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And these are for you. Bea picked them out yesterday,” he tells her, handing her the bouquet of flowers.

“Oh, they’re beautiful,” she gushes, running her fingers over the delicate petals peeking out from between the brown paper wrapping. “Tell Bea I said thank you.” She tips her eyebrows up at him and he hums.

“I’ll be sure to.” His southern accent rasps strong. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.” He ducks to kiss her again, then turns with an outstretched hand to bid farewell to Marcus. “See you around, Marcus. Great to finally meet you.”

He shakes his hand again and nods, once, curtly, familiar. “You too, James.” His name sounds stiff in his throat. He hopes Coraline doesn’t notice the unintentional tightness in his tone.

Marcus steps back to allow them to say their goodbyes, paying mild attention to the things they say. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. He hears the door click shut as he shoves himself back into the couch, aching lithe legs drawn out long before him. Coraline’s hand brushes over his shoulders as she passes, swapping the wilted flowers in her vase before the window for the fresh ones James had brought, before flopping down onto the cushions beside him.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t know he was coming.” She sighs, settling back against him. Her carton of noodles is back in her hand again, but she pokes at it idly.

“You don’t have to pity my loneliness, Cora.”

Coraline scoffs. “I’m not pitying you.” She sits up straight and almost glares at him down the end of her nose. She nudges him in the side with her elbow. “I’m just not going to abandon you.” She leans up and dots a kiss to his cheek. “I promise you.”

taglist: @wheresthewater @its--fandom--darling @alberta-sunrise @sara-alonso @madslorian @freeshavocadoooo @giselatropicana @thorins-queen-of-erebor

[hopelikethemoon]

The Gift (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: The Gift Rating: PG-13 Length: 2200 Warnings: None.  Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in January 1997. This is part of the “big angst” that will be covered over this weekend and Monday.  Summary: Reader considers the gift Javier gave her. 

Taglist:  @grapemama  @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes​@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow​@hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501​@fioccodineveautunnale​  @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim​@amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper​@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano​ @beskar-droids​ @space-floozy @ct-arc-5555​ @cable-kenobi​

“Do I really want to open this can of worms?” You questioned, running your hand over the subtle curve of your stomach. “I think your daddy really wants me to.” You sighed heavily and sank back in your office chair. Your gaze flickered towards the stack of manila envelopes sitting on top of your file sorter. They had been sitting, right there, since your first day back after Laredo. 

You had gotten Javier an engraved ring; the day you met, your birthdate, his, Josie’s, and enough room for the new baby’s birthdate. Javier had gotten you a stack of FOIA’d files from the DEA. Every mention of your name on the Pablo Escobar case. Every contribution you made to the Cali Cartel investigation. Buried within that bundle of files was also, as Javier had explained, incriminating evidence that the DEA had intentionally concealed your efforts. 

Swallowing thickly, you pulled one of the files off the sorter. You bent the metal clasp straight and pulled it open. Your teeth dug into your bottom lip as you stared down at the painfully familiar letter heading.

Colombia felt like a lifetime ago. 

That last year with the DEA had been a living hell. 

Working for the Miami PD had been a breath of fresh air. You had a team that supported you, supervisors who respected you and valued you… You never had that with the DEA. Javier and Steve had been the only two at the DEA who seemed to give a shit what you said. You spent your entire career working five times harder than every man, only to get an eighth of the credit. 

Or none.

You got up out of your chair, heading over to shut the door to your office, pulling the blinds shut on the little glass window. You sank back down in your seat, staring at the stack of neatly stacked papers that had been tucked into the folder.

Five folders symbolized the culmination of years of effort. From 1987 to 1993. 

You leaned forward and pressed the speaker button on your desk phone, before clicking the speed dial button for Javier’s office. It rang once before he picked up, his voice exactly what you needed to hear right then. “Hello?”

“Hey, Javi.” 

“Hey baby, I was just thinking about you.” Javier said warmly. “What’s up?”

“I finally opened the files and... “ You laughed quietly, “I guess I’m a little hormonal right now.” You rubbed under your eyes as you looked down at the top sheet of paper. “Just seeing my name and the DEA is… blast from the past.”

“You were the best goddamn agent they ever had in Colombia. And you know it.” 

“Of course I know it.” You rolled your eyes. “I had to put up with you and Murph. I had to be good.”

“You took down Carlos Lehder on your second day, baby. Do you have any idea how many years that asshole spent evading US forces? Second day and you fucking bag him. How many years has it been? Cause I’m still proud of you for that.”

You felt your cheeks warm under his praise. Your fingers trembled as you flipped through the pages. “What were you thinking that night?”

“Hmm?”

“At the bar. I still remember this look you had… I couldn’t figure it out.” You recalled, brows furrowed as you flipped to a page of reports that had Javier’s horrible handwriting printed between the margins. 

“You really wanna know?”

“Sure.” You looked towards the phone. “Was it good?”

“Well, yeah.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth and chuckled. “What do you think I was thinking about, baby?”

“I figured as much.” You grinned, rubbing at the back of your neck as you settled back in your chair. “Damn… jealous since day one. Javier, have you always had a heart?” 

“If you hadn’t been so fucking… you.” Javi huffed softly. 

A comfortable silence fell between you as you shuffled through the pages, you could hear the soft inhale and exhales coming from him on the other side of the line. You wished he were there with you, flipping through years of work together. But he’d gifted them to you to do with as you wished. 

“You trust this journalist?”

“He uncovered the whole Tailhook Convention scandal.” Javier sighed heavily. “And that was a shit show.”

“Yeah. I remember reading about it.” Trust the Pentagon to try to cover up a massive sexual assault scandal among their good ole boys. “So he’s good. He’s not afraid to get his hands dirty, but… is my story even that important?”

“Baby…” 

“I’m just one agent that got royally fucked over by the DEA. Doesn’t it seem a little narcissistic to think I’m so important that I need to have my name printed?” 

“Steve told me.”

“Told you what?”

Your heart sank. 

Javier sighed. “After you left the bar that night. I didn’t realize what he was doing, but in hindsight… I get it now.” He was silent for a moment, before he continued. “You wanted to make a name for yourself. That’s what you told him, right?”

“I mean… Yeah.” You tucked the files back into the folder and reached for the second, peeling it open and dumping them out. There was a stack of square photos with a rubber band wrapped around them. Pictures from stakeouts, late nights… Steve was always documenting everything. He loved that goddamn camera. 

They always had to go into the case files, except for a few you had stolen. “I mean… that’s why I volunteered for Colombia. No one else was crazy enough to go there and I thought… that’s my shot.” 

“And it was. You could’ve had it all, baby. But I—”

“Were the best partner a girl could ask for, Javi. You and Steve were so good at your jobs.” You smiled wistfully down at a picture of the three of you. You had Javier’s aviators on and were wedged in between the two of them. “I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything. I don’t need my name in the history books.” 

“But what about everyone else? What about Josie and the baby? What if they want to follow in their mother’s footsteps.” 

“God, I hope they don’t want to be DEA.” You laughed, “Good parents don’t let their kids grow up to be feds.” 

“You’re avoiding the topic.” 

“If we start this, we have no idea where it’ll go, Javi. An article like this… it’ll have ramifications.” You cautioned. “Everything with the DEA comes at a cost.” 

“This was your dream.” Javier pressed. “They cut you out. Completely. You know it, I know it, Steve knows it…” He sighed heavily. “Just call the guy. See where he wants to take this. He already knows the jist of this shit.” 

“I know.” You sat the photos aside and went through a stack of neatly typed notes that you had taken towards the end of the case. Some of the last stakeouts the three of you went on together. Good memories. Really good memories. 

“What do we do, Javi? Do we tell them everything? You, me… the kids? There’s a lot more to this story than just me being cut out.” You pushed your fingers through your hair. “And Steve…”

“Knows what I got you for Christmas. He helped me get them FOIA’d.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth and you wished you could see his face. “He’s willing to burn the place down, baby. Just say the word.”

“What is he going to do?” You questioned. “They’ve got two little girls.” 

“He’s got plans to open his own consulting firm. He’s playing it by ear.” Javier told you, “He’s not thrilled with the DEA either.” He sighed heavily, “I’ve got this faculty meeting in a couple minutes, but… Do you want to meet for lunch at Demetrio?”

You tucked the files back away in the envelope, picking up the business card with the journalist’s name on it. “Yeah. Lunch sounds like a good idea. I think I’m gonna call this guy…”

“I’m proud of you.”

“I know you are.”

 ——

 You passed your menu to the waiter, offering him a polite smile, “I’ll just do the omelet. You can put the sausage on a side plate for him.”

“Something besides water?”

“Hot tea. Breakfast.” You looked towards Javier who was still mulling over the menu. “You know you like their Monte Cristo, just order that.”

“I’m not sure if I want sweet.” Javier rubbed at the back of his neck. 

“The spicy eggs were good.” You recalled, taking the menu from him and looking it over. “Spicy Morning.” You pointed it out to Javier. “Something like that?” You gave the waiter a sympathetic smile. 

“I’ll do the empanada special.” Javier finally decided, “Coffee instead of tea.” 

You rolled your eyes after the waiter left, “Really? I thought you hate how their empanadas were made.” 

He shrugged, scratching at his jaw. “I’m willing to give them a second chance.” Javier looked towards you then, “Are we going to do this?” 

“I think I’m ready.” You chewed on your bottom lip as you reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “I called him. We spoke a little and… I felt good about it?” 

Javier held your gaze, “You can stop at any time.” 

“I know I can, but… I do think this is the right thing to do. Someone has to stop it, right? And I mean… They’ve got assholes like Chris working for them, but me? I get the ax? It’s bullshit.” You squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand, “So it was a good Christmas gift?”

You laughed, “I know I didn’t seem very appreciative.” You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “But I am.” 

God were you glad he had suggested exchanging gifts in private. Opening a box to find a stack of manila envelopes containing the sum of your efforts in Colombia had not been your ideal gift. It was one of the few times you’d raised your voice — and you couldn’t really do that with Chucho sleeping down the hall. 

It wasn’t until Javier gave you the chance to calm down that you realized just how profound the gift had been. Two years ago you had come completely unglued because of the DEA. Finding out that your name had been struck from every file had been a painful realization. Javier had listened to you, remembered it, and worked to find a way to rectify it. 

If you had any doubts about how he felt about you, that gift would’ve made it abundantly clear. But you knew how he felt about you, about the life you shared with him. It had been a remarkably thoughtful gift. 

“I’m just scared.” You admitted to him, rubbing your lips together thoughtfully. “We both know what happens when you go up against the government. They are ruthless.” 

“I know, baby.” Javi squeezed your hand three times, before you both had to make room for the waiter’s return with the drinks. He sat Javier’s coffee down in front of him and your tea in front of you. 

“Thanks.”

“Can I get you anything else?”

“We’re good, thank you.” You smiled, before looking back to Javier. “You know, when I got into the government — the DEA — I never pictured myself going down this path. Calling journalists, setting up tell-alls.” You curled your fingers around your mug, 

“When I went to Colombia, I didn’t think I’d come home with a family.” Javier rubbed at the back of his neck as he took a sip of coffee. 

You nudge his foot under the table. “Me neither.” You shook your head with a laugh. “We should fuck with them next Christmas. Send the Bogotá office a Christmas card with the four of us.” You stroked the curve of your belly. “The reporter had a lot of questions about us.”

“Really?”

You nodded with a sheepish grin. “I guess the human interest side of the story has some appeal.” You tapped your foot against his ankle. “I’m sure there will be scrutiny about us. We work together for what? Five years? Did nothing really happen before Steve left?” You rolled your eyes.

“We had tremendous self-control.” Javier chuckled, shaking his head as he scratched at the side of his jaw. “You don’t think they’d believe that?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “The thought of living in a fishbowl is a little terrifying. I already had the DEA turning over every aspect of my life.” You pressed your tongue to the inside of your cheek, looking away. 

“How bad did it get?”

“Oh, they looked to see if I had any impropriety prior to Colombia. But,” You snapped your fingers and shot finger guns at Javier. “You were the only partner I was ever involved with… well, I mean Lance was working with the DEA. Does he count?”

Javier rocked his jaw and huffed. “I don’t think he counts.” 

“That’s because you don’t like thinking about me with him.” You raised your brows, giving him a look. “I should probably call him and tell him about this article.”

“Do you talk?”

You shook your head, “Not since that day he was at the office. But I don’t want him blindsided.” You brushed the topic aside. “Are we really ready to face Colombia like this, Javi? I mean, this isn’t something small. This is The Washington Post… front page.”

“I’m ready if you’re ready, baby.” 

“I think I am.” 

[pastelbrachypelma]

Blind Date

Requested by @swampythesweetsketch ! Thank you for your suggestion and I hope you like it!

~

“I’m so nervous,” Murray admitted, sitting in front of the mirror and staring at himself. “What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Dude, c’mon!” Sly retorted, barely looking up from where he was putting a top coat over Murray’s nail polish. “If he doesn’t like you, then I’m Santa Claus!”

“That can be arranged,” Bentley teased. “Seriously, though, Murray. Just be yourself. That’s how to be the most attractive.”

“Yeah,” Murray looked away. “I guess. But…”

“Hey,” Sly slid onto the vanity, gently pushing aside a makeup palette with his tail as he sat directly in front of his friend. “Stop worrying, okay?” He grinned. “You know this guy is into you. You’ve been talking for ages. It’s worth a shot at least, right?”

“Right!” Murray squared his shoulders like he was going into battle, and wasn’t wearing holographic nails and a smokey eye. “Thanks for doin my topcoat for me, Sly. And thanks for helping me with my suit, Bentley.”

“No problem,” his brothers said simultaneously.

Sly patted Murray’s shoulder. “Go get ‘im, pal.”

“We’ll be waiting,” Bentley promised.

Murray smiled, and headed out the door.

“All right, Sly,” Bentley said, “you know what to do.”

Sly grabbed his binocucom and cane. “On it!”

~

Murray was already nervous enough being in a sizable crowd with bounty on his head, but, just as Sly had assured him, Murray was the best at disguises out of all of them, and nobody would recognize “The Murray” with makeup on.

He liked his makeup look; just a foundation to match his skin tone, a little contour, blush, and a smokey eye. Sly had helped with his nails, and they looked good. It wasn’t like Murray couldn’t have done it on his own, but Sly wanted to help, and he was better at nails than at eyeliner. Murray chuckled to himself, thinking of the last time Sly tried to do a winged liner. He’d looked even more like a raccoon than usual!

He was sitting alone at the table, waiting for his date, like he had been for the better part of an hour. Every time the door opened, he would look up, expecting to see a handsome man looking for his table. But, it was just couples or families. He sighed. He was sure a blind date would’ve been better, seeing as nobody could turn him down just because of his weight, but maybe the guy had guessed, judging by how much Murray talked about recipes. Or maybe he thought Murray was a sissy, or…

The door opened again, to someone by themselves. Except Murray could recognize that tail in his sleep. Sly had a satin jacket over a button-down shirt, hair slicked back. He was wearing the dance shoes they’d stolen from India, and was looking a little lost. Murray was a bit worried for two reasons. The first was that Sly was here at all; had something happened? The second was that Sly could only handle big crowds if he was at a social event. Parties, he liked. There were excuses to mingle in small groups. He had never liked large throngs of people. If Sly has a panic attack…

But instead, Sly found him (after pretending to have been looking for him) and waved. Murray waved back, confused, as Sly strode forward confidently through the crowd.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Sly said, brushing dust off his lapels. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

“You didn’t,” Murray said, a bit confused. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Sly demurred, giggling shyly. “Oh, don’t be silly! How could I ever turn down a hunk like you?”

Murray wanted to laugh. Sly liked playing the effeminate gay. The question was, why was he doing that in the first place? At that moment, the door to the restaurant opened again, and Bentley rolled his wheelchair inside. People who were waiting for a table stepped aside to give him room. He was disguised as well, a cloth hat matching the more casual dark wash denim jacket he was wearing over a black necktie. Murray could appreciate the aesthetic...but he was still confused.

Bentley made his way towards the table. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, pitching his voice deeper in contrast to the way Sly’s had been more high-pitched. ��Hey! What’re you doing here?” He glared at Sly.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Sly pointed an accusing finger at Bentley. “I’m here for my date!”

“So am I,” Bentley said, and Murray smiled, starting to catch on. “One of us has the wrong table and you, buddy,” the turtle wheeled into Sly’s space, making the raccoon step back, hand splayed on his heart in dramatic offense, “are definitely at the wrong table. This gentleman is far too handsome for you!”

“I think he’s just the right amount of handsome,” Sly argues. “Just look at those bulging muscles,” he gestured, and Murray flexed, having a bit of fun now that he was in on the joke. “A man like that deserves the world!”

“Guys, you’re gonna make me blush,” Murray grumbled under his breath. Sly winked before sliding back into character as Bentley charged further.

“And? You still kept this gorgeous man waiting! Look at the poor guy’s makeup! All smudged because you were off…” Bentley waved his hand as he searched for an insult, “vaping!”

Sly gasped. “Do you think I would smoke around such a deceptively delicate flower?! The nerve!”

Murray looked over again as the restaurant doors opened. It was his real date, a buck with gold chains draped artfully around his antlers, dressed to the nines in a slimming suit to complement his slender body. Murray recognized the designer logo on his tie, and felt shame creep up his throat as he thought of his thrifted jacket and pilfered shirt. Even the silk skirt he was so proud of made him feel like a freak next to this guy.

“What’s going on here?” The buck spoke, his voice like molten chocolate, as he approached the table. “Which of you is Murray?” His eyes slid approvingly over Sly, and Murray hid his face. “I hope it’s you, handsome.”

“Sorry,” Sly slid in beside Murray, hooking his arm through the hippo’s. “I’m taken. Happily.”

“Me too.” Bentley took Murray’s hand, glaring at the buck.

The deer narrowed his eyes, then laughed. “Oh, thank god,” he said, relieved. “I could never be seen with such a,” he waved his hand derisively, “hideous beast.”

“Hey,” Sly said, voice sharp despite the different pitch. Murray recognized it as the raccoon’s “don’t fuck with me” voice, a rarely seen anger flashing in his eyes. “Murray is amazing! He’s funny and kind and always knows what to say!”

“His strength and skill can’t be matched!” Bentley agreed.

“And tonight, he’s my date.” Sly declared. “So fuck off.”

“No, he’s my date,” Bentley argued. “You fuck off!”

As his two friends bickered, Murray watched the deer walk away. He felt a little bit upset at the rejection, but his friends were nearby, defending him on what was technically their night off. He felt warm inside even so. It was good to be with his brothers again.

Once the deer was out of sight, Sly deflated. “Ack, my throat,” he complained. “I don’t know how you do those high-pitches voices, Murray. I feel like I’ll be raspy by tomorrow!”

Murray chuckled. “It takes practice.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Bentley suggested. “I think we’ve caused enough of a scene.” He glanced at the table. “Nothing needs to be paid for, right?”

“Nope. I didn’t order yet.” Murray replied.

“Let’s get Chinese,” Sly said, stretching as Murray got to his feet. “I saw a great place on the way over.” He locked his arm through Murray’s, hiding a yawn in the hippo’s bicep.

“Do you mean you saw it or smelled it?” Bentley asked, guiding Murray to the handles of his chair. That was about equivalent to hand-holding, Murray knew.

Sly laughed. “Both!”

“Chinese sounds fantastic,” Murray said, sighing in the fresh air. He was still upset about being stood up. He was glad for his friends, but…

“That guy was a complete jerk,” Bentley grumbled, going back to controlling his own chair as Sly let go of Murray. It wasn’t a sudden “no homo” sort of thing, though. It was more of a natural progression as they walked together on the sidewalk, with Bentley’s chair a half-step ahead. “What didjya day his name was?”

“Pierce Monogram,” Murray said. “Trust fund baby, I think. Works in the family business selling shoes.”

“That’s ironic,” Sly mused, swinging his arms up to rest behind his head as he walked. “He wasn’t wearing shoes.”

Murray laughed. “No, I guess he wasn’t. That’s a dealbreaker for me.”

“Murray, you don’t wear shoes either,” Bentley said.

“Exactly!” Murray went on, still laughing. “Somebody has to wear the shoes in the relationship!”

All three of them laughed, and couldn’t stop laughing until they reached the Chinese.

~

“Ah, the smell of sweet, sweet MSG,” Sly licked his lips as he set out the various cartons and bowls.

“This isn’t going to give me indigestion, is it?” Bentley asked skeptically, wrinkling his nose.

“No, no, I got your egg rolls and plain rice here,” Sly set out the food separately for Bentley before using a set of chopsticks to serve himself liberal amount of pork fried rice and vegetable lo mein, claiming one of the containers of scallion pancakes for himself.

“Man,” Murray grinned, slurping his hot and sour soup, “I forgot how good Chinese food actually is.”

“Right?!” Sly beamed. “Glad I thought of it. I haven’t had a good Chinese in months!”

“It’s delicious, I agree. Pass the wonton soup, Murray?” Bentley asked.

“What’re we watchin?” Sly asked between shoveling noodles into his mouth.

Murray blushed. “Are you guys gonna kill me if I say I wanna watch “Pitch Perfect” again?”

Sly swallowed noisily. “Nah, I like that one all right. It’s funny.”

“I’ve no objection,” Bentley said, taking off his glasses momentarily to clean them of the fog from his soup. “It’s date night, after all. You always pick the films for date night.”

“You guys still wanna call it date night?” Murray asked.

The gang had always jokingly held “date nights” for self care, movies, and video games. But that had been before Murray was officially out of the closet. His friends were straight. He thought they hadn’t had a date night in a while because his friends didn’t want to do that sort of this with him now that he was out as gay.

Sly leaned forward. “You okay, big guy?”

Murray sniffled. “I...I dunno, I thought you guys...didn’t wanna do this with me anymore.”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Bentley asked.

“I’m gay,” Murray confessed. “I like guys.”

“So?” Sly twitched his tail in confusion. “You’re still my brother. My friend.” He waved his tail in Murray’s face, making the hippo sneeze. “In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear,” the raccoon snuggled up properly against Murray’s side, chittering quietly, “I love you, pal.”

“So do I,” Bentley affirmed. “And...not to be too blunt about it, but...it was pretty obvious to me that you weren’t straight. But,” he cleared his throat, smiling. “That never mattered to me. You’re still my brother. And I still love you.”

Murray rubbed the tears out of his eyes. “Thanks, guys.”

“Sure thing, Murray,” Sly replied, butting his head against Murray’s shoulder before sitting up to properly shovel more food down his throat.

“I’ll get the DVD,” Bentley abandoned his food momentarily and rolled his chair over to set up the TV. Once he was done, he took his food and rolled closer to the couch, so Murray could enjoy his comfort, too.

Murray smiled warmly, happily chowing down on Chinese food and shouting all the words to the songs at the top of his lungs.

That was the best part about being home, Murray decided as he laughed at Sly nearly choking on a wonton and Bentley snorting soup out his nose. Being with the people who loved you unconditionally.

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Villainous

A/n: This is a commission that spiraled out of control, omg, there’s so much angst and backstory I hope anyone reads this oof

Summary: It infuriates Yoongi, that the hero has something he doesn’t, and he takes it for himself, planning to use you for bait…but he hadn’t counted on how you���d affect him.

Warnings: oh boy, a lot of angst, abandoned boys, a little violence, some involuntary manslaughter (don’t judge listen I love my ragtag villain boys), mention of some emotional abuse, mention of sexual abuse (in a backstory), there’s just a lot going on here, I have 545 ideas for one shots in this universe

Word Count: 4586

He finds out that you're his arch nemesis's new squeeze by accident.

It wasn't as if any of his crew remembered you, he'd made sure of that before he'd gone to prison.

It was the new kid, Jungkook who'd told him, almost as an afterthought. "Shin has a new girl."

Yoongi had been playing cards with Seokjin, appearing to barely listen, but he's hyperfocused, tuning in on everyone's thoughts..

"In his crew?" He asks finally, discarding the 2 of clubs.

"I must be crazy, playing rummy with a mind bender," Seokjin mutters in a disgusted tone.

Yoongi's mouth turns at one corner. "Sometime today, Jeon." He snaps.

"N-no." The kid stutters. "His girl."

Yoongi snorts. "Poor soul."

He's only half paying attention, but then a pair of familiar doe eyes flash through Jungkook's mind, and Yoongi falters, dropping the wrong card in the discard pile.

"Yes!" Seokjin crows, picking it up. Then he narrows his eyes. "Are you letting me win?"

"Shut up," Yoongi mumbles, rubbing at his temples.

He'd been in prison less than six weeks. Less than six weeks, and already….

"Her name is Y/n," Jungkook continues dreamily, and Yoongi barks out a bitter laugh.

It wasn't surprising, how much of you Jungkook had taken in on his short scouting trip. The kid had always had a little crush on you, ever since the first day he joined the crew, when you'd been in the kitchen, and looked back at him over his shoulder.

"You like grilled cheese, kid?" You'd asked, and that'd been it, Jungkook had stars in his eyes every time he looked at you.

Yoongi had thought it was cute, then, but now, it makes his chest tight, makes his stomach roll, how Jungkook is thinking of the outer swell of your breast, your hair bouncing against your throat, and when Jungkook thinks of Shin's big forearm around your waist, Yoongi tosses his cards down on the table.

"Aish!' Seokjin protests, but Yoongi stands, nearly knocking over the chair, and Seokjin clams up.

Jungkook is almost wringing his hands, and Yoongi knows he's worried he's done something wrong, can see it in his thoughts, so he puts a hand on the kid's shoulder.

"New plan. Bring her to me."

***

Jungkook does what he's told. And fast. Of course, that's what he does, he's fast and eager and he'd run the 55 miles from Busan to Daegu in fifteen minutes when he was 14, away from home over some stupid fight with his dad. He'd been too scared and lost to find his way home and Yoongi and Taehyung had found him sniffling in the back alley behind the abandoned building they'd been living in.

It's sad to think about how Jungkook could've just called home, how his parents might have understood and accepted him, but it's not like they don't all have sad stories, Yoongi's crew.

Yoongi had met Taehyung first, in the psych ward when Yoongi had been 10 and Taehyung 8 and he'd been all big eyes and snotty nose, asking Yoongi a hundred questions, holding his hand tight when he realized he could, realized Yoongi could suppress that part of his brain that triggered his super strength. The part of his brain that had let him crush his baby sister when he'd hugged her, when his parents had let them hold her after she came home from the hospital.

Taehyung had never been more than a hundred feet from him ever since, even when Yoongi told him why he was in the psych ward, because he'd written a poem for a girl he liked in school and when she'd laughed in his face he got so mad and humiliated he wished she were dead and then ...she was, from a brain aneurysm, seizing on the floor in front of him.

He'd stopped talking for two years.

They met Jungkook by accident, and when the three of them got raided by Shin and the few boys he'd recruited, when their girl with the banshee powers burst out every window in the building they'd been living in and their invisible boy had stolen all their food and money, Yoongi decided to start his own crew.

Seokjin had been next, in a juvenile detention center because that's where they all ended up, eventually. He was in for arson but the papers said the dorm containing Seokjin, his girlfriend, and his best friend had burnt to ashes, almost like it had been napalmed, with Seokjin escaping without a single burn.

When Jungkook zipped Taehyung and Yoongi inside, the tall, broad shouldered boy had been in a steel room with smoke boiling from under the door.

Luckily, Yoongi knew what part of the brain to suppress and Taehyung could bust the hinges on that steel door and Jungkook was quick enough to whisk them all out of there.

Turns out that girlfriend had been fucking his best friend and Yoongi thought they kind of deserved it, anyway, but it still took months to talk Seokjin into using his powers again.

Then Jungkook told him about this boy he'd met in Busan who he swore had changed his eye and hair color in an instant when they had gotten caught shoplifting.

His name was Jimin and when they found him he'd been on the streets and instead of a boy he'd shifted into a girl, specifically his foster father's dead daughter so that he wouldn't hit him so much. But when he'd come into his bedroom late at night, Jimin had stabbed him in the jugular with a ballpoint pen.

Jimin had been the slowest to trust them but they'd gave him a bed and no one tried to touch him and it was the closest thing he'd ever been offered to home.

Then Hoseok, who'd come right to their door, wearing dark sunglasses and barely making eye contact. He'd seen the papers where they'd had a skirmish with the heroes and fancied himself a villain because he'd come into his powers late, killed his fiancee in her wedding dress when he'd been unable to control his joy and beams of electricity shot from his eyes and stopped her heart.

Hoseok had been difficult at first, breaking down when he clipped a security guard while shooting electricity into the keypad lock, but Yoongi had set him straight with a bitter laugh.

"I killed a fucking nine year old just because I thought about it, Hoseok, and you can't take a fucking security guard with a burn on his arm? Fuck you. You get to wear a fucking pair of sunglasses and forget about it, yeah? I get pissed off at one of you for cheating at rummy and have to focus not to burst a blood vessel in your fucking brain. Tae could kill you during fucking flag football. Seokjin could burn this whole place down if he has a fucking bad dream. Get your shit together."

After that, Hoseok kept his mouth shut, did the exercises to stay focused, quit complaining.

Namjoon was the last to join the crew, having been Shin's biggest weapon for years, ever since Shin had found him sleeping on a park bench in the rain, totally dry because he could control the clouds.

After a big battle in which Namjoon had flooded parts of the city, Yoongi spat out something that made Namjoon think twice about his loyalty to Shin.

"You don't have to steal. You don't have to hurt people," Namjoon had said in his even, calm voice, and Yoongi scoffed.

"At least we only hurt people who deserve it. How many innocents do you think drowned in this flood today, Namjoon? How many in that earthquake last month, trapped under the rubble?"

Namjoon couldn't shake the way it made him feel and he'd gone to Shin, who'd just shrugged.

"Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette, Joonie."

So Namjoon left, came to Yoongi with intel because people aren't fucking eggs and at least Yoongi could help him focus it with his mindbending.

They'd become more brothers than a crew by the time you came around, and everyone was wary at first because you didn't have any powers.

Yoongi understood but he could read your mind, knew there was no ill intent and maybe he was a little naive to think it would all go smoothly, that Shin wouldn't find out and try to use you.

And use you he did, trying to woo you to his side but you, Yoongi's smart girl, you'd used that to your advantage, batted your doe eyes and pretended to be interested.

Yoongi hadn't liked it, not even a little, had been anxious for you and, if he were honest, a little jealous, when he saw in your mind how you'd smiled and cooed at Shin.

But it got them the right intel for the biggest heist they'd done yet, Shin's personal bank, where the so called "heroes" kept all that money they spent on fucking penthouses and caviar or whatever the fuck they ate.

Yoongi doesn't know where it went wrong but he'd heard sirens and called his crew to him, given himself a nosebleed erasing every memory of you so that no one could beat it out of them.

He'll never forget the way you looked at him, eyes wide, forehead pressed to his.

"Don't, Yoongi. Not me. Don't make me forget you, please."

He'd stroked your hair, twirled a curl between his fingers. "I'll make you remember again, doll. I'll make you remember just as soon as things are safe."

"What if things are never safe, Yoongi?"

He'd smiled at you, kissed you soft, not even realizing his nose was bleeding until he saw the blood smearing your mouth.

He'd watched the light of recognition fade from your eyes, and it'd hurt so much more than he'd expected.

It hurts worse, now, with you panting, your curls sweaty and sticking to your forehead, you banging against the glass and glaring at him with absolutely no recognition at all.

You'd been kicking and screaming when Jungkook brought you in and Yoongi hadn't know what else to do but put you in Tae's room.

The creation of Tae's special room had been necessary after an unfortunate incident with one of Shin's girls a couple of months back, a room that was made of the strongest, reinforced glass, like the glass they used to make shark tanks.

Taehyung was standing next to him, biting his nails down to the quick. "Yoongi...what if I need the room while she's in there?"

Yoongi rolls his head on his shoulders, frustrated. "You won't, Tae."

"You don't know that! I might! What if something happens, like it did with…" He trails off, face almost pained, and Yoongi softens.

"I know. I know, Tae. You don't have to say her name." He takes Taehyung's hand where he's worrying at his cuticles and holds it, squeezes it to ground him.

Taehyung sighs and leans into him a bit, and Yoongi feels a wave of affection for his touch starved friend. 

"I'll calm her down, take her to my room if it comes to that, yeah?"

Taehyung nods, squeezes his hand back so gently anyone but Yoongi might not notice.

Yoongi is watching you, watching you sit down in the one metal chair in the room, crossing your arms over your chest and sulking, and suddenly he wants so badly to tell his best friend. Suddenly he wants his advice, wants to talk things out, ask Taehyung what he should do next.

Something pulls in Yoongi to make you remember, look you in your eyes and watch the light and love come back into them, but another part of him, the cunning part, the villain part, knows that you’ll have intel on Shin, deep intel, things he’d never been able to know before. That intel will hurt, like how you know where Shin’s bedroom is and how he sleeps, how he fucks, probably, and he knows that and if you remember, you’ll know that too, and hide it from him in that little part of your mind you’d created when you’d been together, keep your secrets.

And of course it’s Taehyung he wants to ask, sweet Taehyung, his best friend for all these years, but he also knows Taehyung might not react well to remembering...to knowing someone he trusted with his mind for all these years had altered his memories.

In the end, he decides to start small, to reverse the memories for Taehyung and Namjoon together, so that maybe Namjoon’s calming voice can help him understand.

He knows Namjoon will understand, knows Namjoon will understand more than anyone that sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

Yoongi calls them both into his office and he hates how nervous Taehyung looks, how he’s fidgeting. Namjoon just stands there, hands behind his back, steady, as always.

“I needed you two because I need your advice...and I want to say I’m sorry that I had to erase your memories.”

Namjoon doesn’t react, but Taehyung blinks, startled.

“You...you did what?”

Yoongi sighs and closes his eyes, turns it back on, focusing on that one section of memory he’d boxed up in each of them, and then Namjoon does react, taking in a sharp breath at the rush of memories.

Taehyung sits down hard in the chair opposite Yoongi’s desk, hands tight on the arms of the chair.

“Tae Tae-” Yoongi stands, comes around the desk. Namjoon looks over at Taehyung, alarm evident on his face.

“Don’t,” he says, voice shaking. “Don’t you fucking touch me, Yoongi, you know better, you know you can’t touch me when I’m…”

“Hey, bubs, it’s okay,” Namjoon says, softly, and Taehyung jerks his gaze to the taller man. 

“Don’t tell me it’s fucking okay, Joon. It’s not okay. Don’t you get it? He’s already in our heads, all the time, and I thought...I thought it was to help us but-”

“It is! It is, Tae, I did it so that they couldn’t get information from you, so that-”

That’s when Taehyung breaks the chair, it bursts under his hands like it’s made of popsicle sticks when he stands up.

“I would never give up one of our own! Never! They’d have to fucking kill me first, and you know that!”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Yoongi says, softly, and something in Taehyung’s face softens.

Namjoon makes a mistake puts a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder too soon and Yoongi winces when he hears it pop.

Namjoon cries out, but only for a moment, and Taehyung’s face...it’s a knife in Yoongi’s gut, every time this happens.

Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest, trapping his hands under his armpits, shaking all over, and Yoongi comes toward him, trying to find that switch in Taehyung’s brain to calm him but he’s all over the place and he can’t.

“Joonie, I’m sorry,” Taehyung sobs, fat tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry.” He looks to Yoongi, eyes wild and wet. “I need the room.”

“Tae, you don’t, we just need to calm down-”

“I need the fucking room!” He yells, and Yoongi nods and leads him there without touching him, feeling like shit for all of this, for any of this. God, it’s so fucked up that he’s able to do any of this, that he’s been given this fucking curse…

And then there’s you, there’s you with your chin jutted out defiantly but he knows you’re scared, can read it in your mind how terrified you are, how Shin’s told you over and over what a monster Yoongi is, how he’ll leave you drooling and helpless with no memories and no way to ever make new ones, and he hates Shin and he hates himself when he hauls you out of there into his bedroom, when you fight him and he has to shove you in the bedroom and lean his back against the door, breathing hard.

Turns out Namjoon’s shoulder isn’t broken, just dislocated, and Hoseok pops it back in while Namjoon bites down on his belt and after that it’s just a handmade sling for a few weeks.

Yoongi thanks God for Hoseok’s EMT training prior to joining, and goes to tell Taehyung the good news, but Taehyung isn’t listening.

He's balled up in the corner of the room and humming to himself, and Yoongi is so fucking tired when he comes to his room that you almost barrel right past him.

He catches you by the shoulders and you struggle and he looks you right in the eye.

"Shin told you what I can do, yeah? You know I could paralyze you with a fucking thought. So calm. Down."

You freeze, and he hates the flash of fear in your eyes but he can still see you back behind your eyes, how you're still defying him even as you sit down on the bed, crossing your arms.

"I'm not telling you anything."

Yoongi fights the smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth. "You don't have to, doll. I can read your mind, you know."

You shake your head. "He taught me how to compartmentalize. Just in case this happened. I can fight you until he gets here."

Yoongi barks out a laugh at that.

"You think he'll come for you?"

Something flashes in your eyes and your lip trembles, just for a second. "H-he loves me."

Yoongi knows that shouldn't make him angry. He knows he did this, that you'd begged him not to and he'd done it anyway but even so blood rushes to his face and he slams his hand down on his nightstand and you flinch.

"Let me tell you something, sweetheart. Shin Junyoung has never loved anything in his whole miserable life except himself. And he never would have had a chance with you if-"

You shake your head, put your hands over your ears. "He loves me and I love him. He loves me and I love him."

You chant it over and over, like a mantra, so much that he can't even read your thoughts and he wants to scream, has to leave the room before he jerks your hands from your ears and makes you remember, breathing hard.

He's fucking mad, he could burst Shin's brain with a single thought right now but there's broken glass in his chest because some part of that was true, he felt it coming off you in waves and every single bit of this was his fault.

He spends the night on the floor next to Taehyung's room with a bottle of bourbon, and wakes up with a pounding headache and Tae knocking on the glass softly.

"I'm ready to come out now," he says hoarsely, eyes red rimmed, and Yoongi's so grateful he feels tears welling in his eyes.

Taehyung cleans up and comes down to breakfast and Namjoon is in the kitchen, pouring coffee with his good arm.

Taehyung takes in a deep breath and leans his head against Namjoon's shoulder, gently.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, brokenly, and Yoongi watches, feeling a wave of affection for his friends, his brothers, when Namjoon flashes a dimpled smile and pats Taehyung on the top of the head.

At breakfast,Yoongi can't eat, feeling like there's rocks in his stomach.

"So, from your drunken ramblings last night, I take it you haven't given her the memories back yet?" Taehyung says, almost casually, popping a slice of bacon into his mouth.

Yoongi shakes his head. "There's so much intel we could get," he mumbles.

"You know if you weren't my best friend, I'd snap you like a twig for saying that."

Yoongi blinks at him, a little shocked.

"I remember everything now, and I know how much she loved you, Yoongi. You're telling me intel on Shin is more important than that?"

Yoongi frowns. "No. No, I just…" he sighs and puts his head on the table. "I just feel like if I don't get something, all of this is for nothing."

"She'd tell you anyway, Yoongi. You know she would."

"Not the good stuff," he mumbles. "Not where he sleeps, or how he sleeps…"

"What, you want her to tell you how he fucks, or…" 

Yoongi lifts his head to glare at his friend, and Taehyung just smiles, lifting an eyebrow.

"Do what you want, bubs, but you're gonna snap and make her remember and it'd be easier if you were calm when you do it."

Taehyung takes his plate to the kitchen and leaves Yoongi alone to think about how the fuck to do any of this.

**

It's not Yoongi but Hoseok who brings you breakfast. In fact, you don't see Yoongi alone for two days.

Shin had told you about all of them, made you read about them, sitting you on his lap with a big binder with blurry photos of them and their powers, their weaknesses.

You never thought much about it, assumed it was for your protection, but the more you're away from him, the more you wonder.

Hoseok's nice to you, has a bright smile when you thank him in a small voice, and were it not for the dark sunglasses and the way he wouldn't meet your eyes, you'd never notice anything out of the ordinary.

The kid, Jungkook, he had been nice too, apologizing over and over for having to hold you tight and restrain you.

It's the shapeshifter, Jimin, or the snake as Shin called him, and Taehyung, the one Shin had said could snap your spine, who bring you lunch.

They sit for a while and talk with you, and you find yourself laughing at something Taehyung said and wondering how this puppy eyed man could be as dangerous as Shin had said.

There's something almost familiar about all of them, and they're all so much more handsome than the blurry pictures had shown, and maybe you felt like you knew them because of how much Shin had forced you to study them but….

Everything was different, here. They all seemed so close, no stiff shoulders and "yes sir, no sir," and even when Yoongi gave an order, they discussed it.

There were times, in that couple of days, when you could have escaped, although you know the kid could catch you easily, or Yoongi could stop your brain from speaking to your muscles, but you don't feel like a prisoner.

You hear arguing amongst them only once, and you think it's the one with the fire, although you don't know why, since you can only hear his voice.

Your ear is pressed up against the door but you can only catch a few words..

"You fucked with our memories? We all-"

Then Yoongi opens the door and you fall forward into his arms, your nose brushing against his.

You can't say why your breath catches in your chest, why his hand smoothing the curls at the back of your head feels so familiar and soothing, but it makes you feel guilty, remembering Shin kissing you goodbye on that last day before he left that you shove him backwards and retreat to the bed.

Yoongi's eyes flash and you think idly that you should be afraid, but you aren't.

"Y/n, I need to tell you something."

This is when it happens. This is when he brainwashes you, this is what Shin had warned you about and he'd told you over and over that if it happened, he'd kill you because you wouldn't be you anymore. Because you wouldn't be his.

You clap your hands over your ears and start the chant again but it's too late, you'd neglected to hide your thoughts and Yoongi climbs onto the bed, taking your hands in his own, glaring at you.

"He said...he said he'd kill you?" His voice is firm but also calm, he isn't raising his voice.

In fact, he hasn't raised his voice to you at all, not like Shin…

You're still spewing out thoughts, you can't help it.

"He yelled at you? Y/n...baby...did he...did he ever hit you?"

Tears are threatening at the backs of your eyes and you shake your head fiercely, trying desperately to stop your thoughts, trying to remember that you love Shin, remembering his eyes and his smile.

Then Yoongi puts his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice cracking. "I'm so sorry."

You feel something like fingers edging into your mind, and then everything changes.

**

At first, Yoongi is just mad because he's jealous and because he misses you so fucking much, but when he reads your thoughts and you're more afraid of Shin than Yoongi, more afraid of your so called boyfriend than the man you thought kidnapped you, the rage he feels is unbelievable.

If he'd been Seokjin, the whole room would've burst into flames.

But it gives way to sorrow so fast when he sees the tears in your eyes, when he realizes he did this, and he's not even surprised when you remember and burst into tears, pummeling his chest.

"Fuck you, Yoongi! You made me forget! You made me forget you and he-"

He tries to hold you but you push him so hard he almost falls of the bed and eventually he leaves the room, slides down against the door and puts his head in his hands.

He sits there all day, waiting for you, waiting until your thoughts turn from a rolling sea to a calmer lake.

You're sniffling when you open the door and he almost falls backward inside.

"Come and kiss me, you idiot," you say, and your voice is broken and hoarse but it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.

Your mouth on his is like coming back home, hands in your curls tight like he'll never let go, and when you murmur his name he feels like his heart will break.

Later, after you're lying with your head on his chest, you tell him everything, even the things he doesn't want to hear, even the things that make his chest ache and his stomach roll and he knows part of you thinks he deserves it for making you forget.

He does, after all, he does deserve it but when he covers his face with his hands after you tell him about the first night Shin got you into his bed, you roll on top of him and move them away, kiss his eyelids where he’s got them screwed shut and his pouty mouth.

“You did this for a reason, yeah? You didn’t want me hurt but you also needed the intel, and I’m giving it to you.”

He’s still pouting when he opens his eyes, but a smile tugs up the corner of his mouth. “You got my intel, all right, my tough girl.”

You smile back at him. “Damn straight, I did. I got everything you need to take him down, and how I did it doesn’t matter, right?”

He nods, smile fading a bit, and then you kiss him again.

“I love you. Even when I thought I loved him, I loved you. You can read my mind to see that’s true.” You say, staring down into his eyes fiercely.

Yoongi searches your face and then smiles. 

“I don’t have to,” he says, and he kisses you over and over until there’s no trace of Shin in your mind at all.

[jay-and-dean]

I don’t need you  Chapter 2 : Freaking super hero

Dean x reader

Summary : She’s a warrior, she’s a loner. Nothing can stop her, nothing ever had. She doesn’t need Dean, does she ?

This is a request by @magssteenkamp​ that I decided to turn to a serie, see the original request on the serie Masterlist.

Serie Warnings : Swearing (duh). Mention of death. Smut, probably all kind from rough to fluffy, I’ll precise in the chapters if there are specific warnings. Fluff. Angst of course.

Chapter warnings :  Swearing (duh). Mention of death. A tiny hint of jealous Dean. 

Words : 3k

Note : I’ll try to stick to the 3k rule, like for Rescue You

If everything goes as planned, you’ll get one chapter every wednesday (Thanks to @magssteenkamp, I call it WednesJay, lol. Sorry okay, I shut up).

***Want to read more ? => MASTERLIST***

*** I don’t need you MASTERLIST***

__________________________

2.     FREAKING SUPER HERO

 Dean’s Pov

             All the lights. This apartment is big, and its windows are too. I look at the regular shadows of the metallic lines of the windows that divide her bedroom door into bended squares.

She offered us to stay at her place, opened the sofa bed, and disappeared behind that door. I just can’t sleep, again. I try to imagine I’m in my bedroom in the bunker, or on Baby’s backseat, but everything is so new to me here. I lost my bearings.

I stare around, my eyes wide open, now used to the weak darkness. Is it possible that she’s just better than us ? Like more up-to-date, trained by the cruelty of huge cities ? How can she do this alone ?

The walls are covered in those research papers, and, after a while, in the middle of this organized mess, my own name catches my eyes.

I get up in silence, trying not to make the mattress move too much, to let my brother sleep. Is it California that made him so insensible to lights and noises at night ? Maybe…

“Dean Winchester is a demon.” I frown, it’s a printing of a mail she got from someone called thathunter87, she hung it here and made a red line between that and a stolen page of a grimoire about demon cure. Why ?

On the table under all those articles and notes on the wall, a long desk, covered in books, notebooks and folders. It’s like she had hundreds of hunter journals, one for each subject.

Discreetly going through them, I find one called “Winchesters” and a shiver runs down my spine but the thought attached to it never reaches my brain. I open it. There are no photos, just mails from thathunter87 and pages of those Supernatural stupid books.

My eyes widen suddenly, and my heart misses a beat. Next to pieces of the books and a sketch of our anti-possession tattoo scribbled like she was thinking hard, a few words : Was John abusive to Dean ?

“Trouble sleeping ?” a whisper makes me jump.

I turn and my breath gets caught in my throat.

           She’s standing in the door frame, an oversized Hocus Pocus t-shirt hiding her upper thighs, and nothing covering her legs.

She looks so different now. Almost… cute. Her worn out t-shirt falling childishly like thin drape on her body, her face freed from any makeup and her hair going in every directions. I can’t help but imagine a morning after…

           She walks to me, pushing her messy hair out of her face. And I’m so caught up in this vision that I forget to hide what I was looking at.

“Oh… I’m sorry” she murmurs, taking the notebook out of my hands. “I know it’s not my business.”

I have no idea what to answer despite the thousands questions flying in my skull, and just keep searching her face, loudly cursing at myself in my head.

“How do you know us ?” I finally say low, my pupils dilating at the ray of the night light hitting her collarbone and I try to fight the electric feeling giving me goosebumps.

“Well, the Supernatural books saved my life” her whisper feels like her nails were grazing my back.

“How ?” I dare, my curiosity getting the best of me.

She chuckles but a shadow crosses her face, a shadow of fear and pain, something weak and lonely, everything she usually hides so well.

“Dark days… I… I lived in the street a long time ago” she looks down. “I needed to believe in heroes I guess.”

Her smile is soft and kind for a second, making me almost believe I could take her in my arms, like an old friend, like a lover. But she sighs, and it’s like she had breathe out everything soft, her eyes become stern and her neck straighten.

“Jimmy doesn’t whine too much ?” she asks, pointing at the laundry room with her chin.

“Not a sound” I assure her, and she smiles dangerously.

“I threatened him a lot.”

 Reader’s Pov

             I walk to the laundry and open the door.

“Ah good you’re there” Jimmy starts right away, making the chair creak. “I-…”

But I cut him.

“One more word and you will regret it, Jimmy. Remember what I said : If my guests sleep bad because of you, I cut your cock, to see if it grows back on an immortal.”

I close the door and give Dean a little corner smile.

           Sam grunts and turn in the sofa, taking all the cover with him. I chuckle and take a glass of water from the kitchen sink.

“Sleep, Dean, tomorrow will be a long day” I murmur walking back to my room, hoping my own thoughts will stop harassing me.

 *******

             I get up and grab my clothes, lazily walking to the bathroom. On my way to it, my eyes glance at the brothers on my sofa, Dean is still not sleeping.

           He looks at me in silence, his piercing eyes following me when I cross the room, but I don’t say a word to him. I know he’s familiar with nightmares, he would hear it in my voice.

           Having them here somehow brought bad memories. It’s a paradox : They saved me from very bad moments in my life, but meeting them makes me think a lot about those dark times, and since I know they’re in town, my own demons are screaming at me. Or maybe knowing I will see Holloway tonight…

           I enter the bathroom and put my clothes on the chair next to the shower. I have to be prepared. In the shower I repeat my plan in my head. I have nothing left to lose, so nothing can end worse than it already is. If I feed, if I become a vampire, I know the Winchesters will end me, and I would finally die peacefully, knowing at least I tried. If I miss Holloway, I will have him next time… If I just die, well it will be over, at last.

           Sam and Dean will try to talk me out of it, I know that, and I’ll have to be very firm, because they can’t make that mission fail. There was a time when I needed heroes, now I don’t.

           The shower turns cold again, ripping me out of my thoughts, I grunt and rinse quickly under the familiar freezing jet.

Naked, I look at the mirror, using the sight of my scars to focus my anger. This is the cut they made on me to taste my blood, after they killed my family… my finger graze the little straight scar on my arm ; this one is the knife cut I got from that rape attempt when I was in the streets. This is fangs, I hate this one.

Then the transformation starts.

Like every day, I put on my mask : The outfit I use to remember who I am, and to forget who I was.

           I feel like putting on an armor the second I start to draw my eye-liner cat’s eye line. And by the time I tighten the ribbons of my corset hard, nothing in me is vulnerable anymore. My back is straight and held, my eyes are dark…

           I’m going to kill them all.

 Dean’s Pov

             She comes out of the bathroom, dressed like that warrior she is, tough and sexy, transformed, unrecognizable, like a freaking super hero.

But I will never forget the cute girl I saw last night.

“I have coffee” she says when Sam sits up, looking around like he was wondering for a second where he was. “And I can make eggs, I don’t want my side kicks to be hungry.”

Her voice sounds slightly different on the word “hungry” and, knowing she lived in the street, I guess she knows what truly hungry is…

I nod and Sam thank her but she’s already in the kitchen. I get up, joining her behind the counter to help her with anything she would need. The truth is, I just want to be around.

I notice a man big jacket on a chair and wonder who she could invite here, despite hunters. Is she really alone ? Does she have friends ? Lovers ?...

“I have no sugar” she states sternly.

And once again, I’m mute, taking the mug she hands me to break eggs in an old pan.

           Suddenly, the walls tremble and the power goes off, the only light she had turn on going off, and the few device she has dying. She sighs but keeps cooking on her gas stove like it was nothing.

“Your stomach is noisy” she chuckles.

“Sorry” I mumble, making her raise an eyebrow.

           She puts the plates on her coffee table with two cups of coffee, going back to the kitchen to take a mug for herself. Only two plates.

“You don’t eat ?” Sam asks.

“I don’t like eggs” she shrugs. “And I have nothing else, I’ll buy something later.”

“I can go to buy you something” I state, really uncomfortable with her not eating with us.

“Eat, Dean. I can handle myself.”

           A knock on the door makes Sam and I frown.

Keeping her coffee cup in her hand, she grabs her gun, puts it in her belt in her back, and walks to the door. Sam and I get up, even if we can’t see the main door from here, we’re ready to fight.

“Hey Y/n. Was it the Winchesters ?” a man voice greets her.

Y/n…

“Yeah. There are no more eggs, I gave them the ones you bought” she answers.

“You feed them now ?” the man mocks. “I bought you a chocolate muffin.”

Why does that annoys me ?

           She appears in the room again, followed by this guy, Joe, the bartender. He’s a very tall –Sammy tall- strong guy with long blond hair in a bun. Freaking hipster.

           When he sees us, he frowns, and look at her like she was insane.

“What are they doing here ?” he asks, making my brother raise his eyebrows at his rudeness. “Wait, Y/n, did they sleep here ?”

“I invited them” she shrugs, sitting to unwrap her chocolate muffin. “Sam, Dean, this is Joe. Joe, bla bla.”

I can’t help smiling at her attitude, but Joe doesn’t. It’s like he didn’t want us to be here, like he was threatened by us somehow… And it suddenly hits me. The chocolate muffin, the things he “forgets” at her place, the worry.

He’s in love with her.

“I have to buy a few things for tonight” she states, ripping a little part of the muffin between her fingers, to slip it between her lips, licking her index a little when chocolate stick on her skin.

“Do you want me to come with you ?” Joe immediately says and I have to blink to not roll my eyes.

“No” she states, then she turns to Sam. “You already made the cure for your brother, I heard.”

“Y-yeah” Sam hesitates. “But are you sure…”

“Then” she cuts him. “Could you prepare it while I’m out ? I already have all the ingredients… And Jimmy.”

“What are you talking about Y/n ? You’re not doing it ? Tell me you’re not doing it.” Joe asks, looking around and she sighs, getting up.

“Okay listen” she states. “All of you. If you have something to say about my plan, you can walk out the door now. I can do this alone. I don’t need you.”

She puts the rest of the muffin in Joe’s hands and take her coat.

“I’ll be here in a few hours, don’t kill Jimmy accidentally with day light, and don’t, well… I don’t know, be stupid. Sam, the ingredients are on the sill, and if you don’t want to do the cure, just… Okay” she says before she leaves, a silence falling on us.

 *******

           I don’t like Joe, the guy stayed with us for no reason, like he wanted to survey us.

           Sam is looking in the box, trying to find a bowl to mix them. And the bartender and I are left practically staring at each other.

“Did you guys convinced her it was a good idea ?” he finally speaks.

“What do you mean ?” I grunt. “Of course not ! This is a terrible idea. I should go, not her.”

Sam lifts his head form the bowl and looks at me with a disapproving frown.

“She will kill you” Joe chuckles darkly. “You have no idea how bad she needs to get them, you have no idea what she’s been through.”

“Well, I won’t let her get killed by those freaks” I state.

“Dean…” my brother speaks. “She knows them way better than we do, this is her plan, her hunt. I think she knows what she’s doing, and you’ve seen her… She’s a great hunter.”

I sit down, sighing, rubbing my face with both hands. Am I supposed to stay there, watching her run to her death ?

 Reader’s Pov

             I take another sip of whiskey, letting the smooth notes of blues wrap me in the comfortable atmosphere of the small bar. I knew Joe would stay with them, and looking behind the bar, I give his colleague a little smile.

           I sigh with the little bottle in my hand, making the thick poisonous liquid redden the sides of the glass.

           I can’t go back to my apartment. They must already be making plans to force me to stay home. I know them. In a way I Know the three of them.

Joe is my friend, and I know he thinks we should be more than that, those ideas of “saving” me spoiling his mind for years, like I was some kind of precious bird with broken wings.

I am not.

I’m not broken or damaged. I’m just furious, a storm of rage boiling in my veins. And he can keep his fairy tales for him. Unconditional love is not going to save me. I told him that, and refusing any kind of proximity with him, I think I made it very clear. But he will always try to save me.

And the Winchesters… They are heroes. Self-sacrifice is burned in their genes. They are as determined to protect everyone they meet, as I am to kill Holloway.

The early winter night is announcing its rise with a pink ink in the city sky. I finish my glass and take my phone.

Did Sam prepare the cure ? I send to Joe.

I get up and walk to the bathroom to check my look on the mirror. Arranging my hair, I practice my smile. It has to be innocent, charming and seductive.

He did. We have to ad Jimmy’s blood but only once you’re turned. Oh God, please don’t do that. Why didn’t you come back ? Where are you ? The night is almost there, and the Winchesters are sneaky. I stayed with them to make sure they don’t rummage through your stuff, but they’re asking questions. Why did you let them stay at your apartment in the first place ? Joe answers in four messages in a row.

Because I don’t really care.

           I put money on the counter and greet the woman behind it, getting out.

           Dead man’s blood capsules in my purse, my vampire killing knife in my boot, another thin slightly longer blade in back along my spine. The magical burning oil in its little flask. That’s all I can take with me. I stuff my purse with lipsticks, random keys, foundation powder and other useless things, in case someone looked into it.

I will drop my guns and other weapons in the trash cans outside the club. I already spent two hours looking at it to be prepared. I know every entrances.

It’s time.

I walk to the alley I slept in so many nights. I don’t know why I chose to do it here, probably because I so often thought I would die here. It’s smaller than I remember, darker too.

On the wall, the drawing I had made, the anti-possession tattoo my heroes wore in their skin. I was sure it would protect me from my own demons, I was so sure it would. I used to put my hand on it when hunger made me so weak I couldn’t stand, when cold was biting my skin ; and when despair was beating me up, telling myself it would make me go through the night.

At least I thought it helped. The truth is, I was alone, and I was the only one fighting all this, the only one that could help me.

I put my finger on it.

“I met the Winchesters” I whisper to the girl I was, to the childhood that died here, wishing I could hear that in the past. “They’re even more handsome than you thought” I half smile, fighting the tears. “But they are not going to save you. You are. It ends tonight.”

           Taking the little bottle in my hand, I close my eyes for a second. I hate vampires. I have to focus on that, I have to be strong, and merciless.

If I become a vampire for good. They have to kill me. I send Joe.

Then I open the flask and drink it in one go.

 Dean’s Pov

             “She answered !” Joe exclaims, getting up to read her long-awaited text.

When he frowns, my heart starts to beat faster. She never came back and now night is here. I’m going nuts, I can’t just stay on this stupid couch.

“She…” the bartender says, but he doesn’t finish, just showing us the text.

Sam runs to the laundry door and opens it.

“Did she take your blood ?” he almost yells and my pupils dilate.

When the vampire chuckles darkly, Sam turns to us.

           She’s already gone.

________________________

***FEEDBACK IS GOLD***

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I don’t need you tags : @charmed-asylum​

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

CC: Christmas Journal

---

March 15th

it wasn’t like I knew what was coming it was something far more mysterious than where i’d been this has always been too much for me i just can’t get enough/ don’t take it away, don’t leave it from me don’t make me pray for more - they haven’t been answered before now i’ll always kneel if it never goes away

---

April 8th

Oh. My. God.

I don’t know if I’ll ever walk straight. If I don’t I think it’s definitely worth it. So so worth it. God, you’re so hot, you realize? Seriously, I’m going to be thinking of this when I’m alone on a hunt for the next...forever? Probably forever. Wow.

April 8th ii

Okay dessert is never going to be the same is it? I love you. Every bit of you.

---

April 20th

i’ve thought on the words, the way your eyes were so dark - storm clouds and rough seas and the inky depths of the trenches still less deep than those cuts - i’ve though on them for hours days have past but the wounds are still fresh why must the words come out wrong why must they have a different meaning to each voice each tone makes them different - but still i would dive into you sink into the cold depths and surrender if i cannot breathe then the words cannot have voice words won’t exist in here no more

---

May 17th

Fluffy egg whites, soft Replacing the ache of sweet Sugar missing now.

Blue eyes hold strong gaze, Both alike in dignity Like stolen lines, past.

Why tears won't fall, Belonging to the history Burnt to Ash

---

May 28th

So we just hung up the phone, like literally just hung up and said good night and you said you loved me...

And the very first thing I did was open my phone and hover my phone over calling you. Because I love you. And want to hear your voice every second I can. I want to hear the sound of your breathing just to prove you're there. I want to hear the beat of your heart as it beats for me.

So instead, I picked up this journal and thought I'd tell you that - so in seven months time you know how big of an idiot you are with. And long enough that you can't escape me when you realize how crazy I am.

Bed time now. good night. I love you.

---

June 6th

I saw a girl with a Dalek shirt on today and I thought of you.

---

June 8th

Nana learned to shake hands today! Our darling girl is so smart. She takes after you, clearly. I love her so much and she's such a good girl, our baby is a fucking genius.

June 8th ii

So maybe she didn't so much learn to shake. But she did it when I had her by herself I swear. You didn't believe me at all, and she was a goddamn brat and wouldn't show you. Stupid dog making me look like an idiot.

June 8th iii

SEE I FUCKING TOLD YOU!

---

June 17th

when the wind howls, it's just the air jealous of your voice and how it's slightest whisper fills a room

when the rain falls, it's just the sky jealous of the tears you share with me

when the sun shines extra bright, it's just trying to compete with how blinding your smile is to me

but perhaps it's all a reflection of love - the world loving you and you loving me as i wait to be the earth again

---

June 28th

PINK DOG PINK DOG PINK DOG

Enjoy this crappy sketch of pink dog!

---

July 5th

This artist is almost as good as you, but at least they can copy perfectly the beauty you made. I can't believe I can look down and see this bit of you stretched across my skin forever. A little piece of you, a mark left behind on me finally showing that you were here and never left. I can't stop touching the way it is and the way I love it and the way it makes me feel. Garth thinks it's pretty but he has no idea how much it means that I will get to keep a bit of you with me forever now.

---

August 7th

Dough 1/2 cup (120 ml) milk, preferably whole 1/4 cup (50 grams) plus a pinch of granulated sugar 1 1/2 teaspoons (5 grams) active dry yeast 1 large egg, brought to room temperature 2 cups (250 grams) all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface 1/2 teaspoon table salt 3 tablespoons (45 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus additional for bowl and muffin tins

Filling 3 tablespoons (45 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature 1/4 cup (50 grams) granulated sugar 1/2 pound (225 grams) semisweet chocolate Pinch of salt 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)

---

August 20th

they left always but you?

you’ve stayed

---

September 2nd

Harry fell over and shouted “Pollywaffle!”

I just needed to write this down before I forgot because what the fuck was that??

---

September 30th

summer is ending but what does that mean we’ll always walk by the lake we’ll always sit in what sunshine comes we’ll always be like this, right?

---

October 15th

I know you’ve said you’ll do the costume with me, and I smiled a lot and was clearly very happy - but I just have to say thank you again, even though you’re not going to see this until Christmas. Thank you for being the magic man that appeared out of the blue for me. You’ve opened up the possibilities for my world.

---

November 12th

Oh god, I’m so nervous for tomorrow. Will everyone get along? Will everything be okay? Will I have done enough? Do you feel like this before my birthday? If so - god it didn’t show, you were so calm and sweet and in control of the day and kept everything running smoothly and here I am freaking out cause I don’t have any clean panties but the granny ones. God damn Laundry day time but I’m not going to bring this up until after your day!

---

November 14th

HE’S SO FUCKING TALL! WHY WAS HE THAT TALL?! WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE SO TALL? What fucking bullshit is that?! Though I’m glad I pulled off the surprise, your face was so happy all day and I love you.

---

December 15th

snow on the ground looks fresh and clean the way you make me feel i’m so much more than i was before you

---

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 10 of don’t read the last page is here!

[kristanna / m / multichap / modern au with actress!anna and vetstudent!kristoff]

“I was a Boy Scout,” he mumbled, “I learned shit about tying knots, not…this.”

“You FaceTimed me just fine when I was in Romania.”

He glanced down at her as she kept giggling helplessly, then looked back at the phone, a faint flush rising on his cheeks. “…Sven helped me.”

chapter 10: twits

October dragged on, the only bright spot the easy afternoons and sweet mornings she spent with Kristoff on the few days a week he didn’t go to school by day and work at night. The studio that had been so excited to cast her in the Anastasia remake was dragging its heels, even when the trailer to the Netflix movie had dropped and immediately been a hit.

“This is normal,” her agent had reassured her. “They want you, kiddo, they just are waiting to make sure.”

“Sure of what, Sam?”

“Not gonna mince words with you, Anna. That you can carry a movie on your own. You’ve got the acting chops, but they need to know people will stay and look at you for two hours straight.”

“No pressure.”

“Honestly, there shouldn’t be. You already filmed it. Nothing to do now but wait.”

And wait she had for the last four weeks, trying not to think about it all too much during the still-agonizing days of sitting around waiting for Elsa to get off work or Kristoff to finish class or Sven to text her sure, come over, I’ll have the Wii ready and waiting.

Her one lucky break had come in the form of a night off for Kristoff the night before the movie was released. He still had classes in the morning, but at least if she had to spend the night lying awake with worry she wouldn’t do it alone.

“You need to sleep at least,” she told him as she brushed her nose against his as they huddled together under the blankets, both of them too torn between exhaustion and nervousness to do anything else. “You still have that lab in the morning.”

“I just don’t want you to be up all night stressing out alone.”

“It’s a good thing you live in LA, Kris. You’re so goddamn sweet the rain would melt you anywhere else.”

He snorted at that. “Can’t believe you call me the corny one.”

Anna giggled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you, though. But I’m serious, just, y’know, snuggling and shit will help enough.”

“I’m serious, too.”

As it turned out, neither of them needed to be; when she had turned over in his arms so he could spoon her, the slow rise and fall of his chest against her back and the gentle kisses he kept placing on the crown of her head were enough to lull her to sleep in minutes. 

She woke up to the beeping of his alarm; somehow in the night she had ended up with her head tucked back under the blankets and her legs tangled around Kristoff’s. She groaned and buried her face in his chest. “Godfuckingdammit it’s today.”

“Morning to you, too, my love,” he laughed, lifting the blanket to get a peek at her scowl.

“Nooo, put the blanket back. Leave me here to perish in my cave of darkness and solitude.”

“I would, I really would, except Sven would kill me for letting his favorite Mario Kart buddy waste away.”

She huffed against his bare skin, wrapping her arms around his waist. “He only likes me more because you don’t lose to make me feel better anymore.”

“So? It’s still true. And anyway, I’m sure people loved the movie. It came out at midnight New York time, right? So maybe there’s already some reviews.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Giving up on trying to coax her out from under the blanket, he dropped it again and instead reached under to begin teasing the tangles out of her hair with his fingers. “Want me to check them for you?”

“Honestly, I just need to know what Twitter says. That’s the important thing these days.”

“Want me to hand you your phone?”

“No! Oh, god, no, I don’t think I could stand to read all the shit people are probably saying. This is Tampongate 2.0, I’m telling you already.”

“Okay, so I’ll make my own Twitter and check for you.”

“But you don’t do social media.”

“Will it make you feel better if I read things for you and tell you what people say?”

“…yes,” she admitted, pressing a kiss to his ribcage and smiling when he squirmed; he was ticklish there, something she liked to take full advantage of.

“Okay, then I’ll do it.”

He rolled over then so he could fumble with the lamp and grab his phone. She moved to lay her cheek against his chest, trying not to wince when she felt him raise his arm to look at the little screen. With his other hand he was still stroking her hair, and between that and the fact that he was always so warm, she had nearly fallen asleep again when she heard him huff out a frustrated sigh.

“Damn it,” he swore under his breath, and at last she crawled out of her blanket cocoon just enough to peek up at him.

He’d put his glasses on but had brought the screen up nearly to the tip of his nose as he tried to puzzle it out. “Why do I have to give it my contact list? I just want to see your stuff.”

Anna couldn’t help but laugh as she sat up. “Okay, Grandpa, just hand it to me, and I’ll do it.”

“No, I need to fight this battle myself,” he muttered, deadly serious as he tapped to the next screen. “Goddammit! Why do I have to put a picture?”

Now she was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes. “You don’t have to. Just hit skip again. Kristoff, how have you survived this long?”

“I was a Boy Scout,” he mumbled, “I learned shit about tying knots, not…this.”

“You FaceTimed me just fine when I was in Romania.”

He glanced down at her as she kept giggling helplessly, then looked back at the phone, a faint flush rising on his cheeks. “…Sven helped me.”

“Oh my god. Oh, Kristoff, baby…” 

Another fit of laughter overtook her and only grew louder when he gave a grumpy little huff upon finally reaching his still-empty feed. “Goddammit, why is it blank? Anna, quit laughing and help me find you on here.”

“Just search for me. Surely you’ve seen search bars before, you have to have done something online in your life–”

“Ha ha. Okay, yes, I see it now.”

He started scrolling through the long list of Annas, his brows furrowed in concentration, and she burrowed back under the blankets, resting her face against his stomach and pressing absentminded kisses to it whenever she heard him make little noises of confusion. He was so focused on the phone that he didn’t even notice when her lips drifted lower, her kisses starting to linger longer as she reached his hipbone.

“Aha!” he shouted suddenly, just as her phone buzzed on the nightstand, and Anna jumped in surprise as he flung the blankets off of her head.

“Jesus, Kris, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” she teased, pressing one more kiss just below his navel, but his only response was a grin of satisfaction as he passed her her phone. 

“I did it,” he said proudly. “I twitted.”

“Tweeted.”

“I like twitted better.”

“You’re lucky I’m already madly in love with you,” she muttered, ignoring her phone in favor of returning her attention and her mouth to the little spot right above the waistband of his boxers that always made him squirm beneath her touch.

Next to her head, his fist clenched around the sheets. “Read what I said first,” he said, his voice strained but determined. “I didn’t go through all that for nothing.”

“Fine,” she said with a heavy sigh as she took her phone in hand and sat up, swinging one leg over him so she could straddle his lap as she read.

His hand was on her thigh now, stroking slowly up and down and making it hard to stay focused as she flicked the notification open and waited for the app to load. At last it did, and she clicked the notification with a smile.

One new mention:

@anna_a_actress I love you, baby! :) - @kristoff123456789

Suddenly her vision was a little blurry. “How are you so fucking adorable?” she asked, dropping her phone so she could lean down and kiss him. “Oh my god.”

He chuckled a little as he kissed her back. “Wow, first you call me grandpa, now you call me adorable…you really know how to get a guy going.”

“Well, I was trying to–”

His hips rolled up against her as he nipped at her bottom lip. “Do that?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

“I thought you wanted me to check Twitter and see what people–”

Anna groaned against the already-flushed skin of his neck before pulling away. “Oh, fuck, I forgot about that.”

“Sorry– that was a mood-killer, wasn’t it?”

“Tragically, yes.”

He patted her hip. “I’ll make it up to you later. Here, show me how to look up what people are saying.”

She did so quickly and bit her lip. “You gotta promise to tell me the truth. Even if everyone hates it. Just don’t tell me, like, specific things, I don’t need to know if I’m a meme again or—“

He was already looking. “Do you want me to tell you now, or—“

“No! God, no, there’s no way I can face this before breakfast. Let me at least get some coffee down.”

She kissed his cheek before clambering out of bed. “Do you want anything?”

“‘m good,” he said, already back to scrolling. 

Anna smiled to herself as she pulled on the pair of old sweatpants she’d brought back from his parents’ house and kept here ever since for the nights she stayed over— more for Sven’s sake than anyone else’s. Even tightened, they hung low on her hips under her stolen t-shirt as she went into the kitchen, trying to think about anything but the inevitable failure of this movie. 

She had only planned on making coffee, but then waiting for the pot to brew was leaving her too much time to think, and so by the time she returned to Kristoff’s bedroom she was having to draw on every reflex from her waitressing days as she carried in a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast, two mugs of steaming coffee, and a bottle of whiskey she’d pulled out of the cabinet just in case. 

“Do you think this is the real Ellen Degeneres?” he asked, holding his phone up to her; his eyes widened in surprise as he took in the feast she was setting on the bed. “Wow. You really did appreciate me getting a Twitter, huh? Breakfast in bed and everything.”

“There’s tabasco on your half,” she said, taking his phone. “Oh my god, it is the real Ellen.”

“Oh, cool,” he said, already taking a bite of toast. “Will you get me her autograph when you go on her show? That’s her second twit about it, by the way, the first one said she loved it. So did all the other ones.”

She set the phone back down; her fingers were trembling so badly she was worried she might drop it in her coffee. “All of them?”

He had been trying to contain his excitement, probably for the sake of her nerves, but it spilled over now as he grinned and nodded at her, his hair flopping in his eyes. “I told you. You’re a star, Anna.”

They couldn’t linger long over breakfast, as much as she wanted to; Kristoff had a nine A.M. class, and Anna had errands to run before having Honey over for dinner that night. “I think it’s a date,” she explained to Kristoff as she got dressed. He had been on his way to the shower and stopped to watch her appreciatively, as if it were the very first time. She took her time rolling up her tights, his eyes tracking every inch of progress. “They set it up through me, but like, they both texted me at the same time asking ‘hey, what about dinner tomorrow with the three of us’ so, uh, kind of obvious, if you ask me.”

He came over to help her tuck her sweater into her skirt and let his hands linger on her hips as he leaned down to kiss her, slow and scorching. When he pulled away, she couldn’t help but pout a little. “Later, baby. I promise.”

“You’re lucky I’m already dressed, Bjorgman.”

“Really? Feeling kind of unlucky, myself. Could’ve used some company in the shower.”

He left her with a quick kiss on the cheek before heading down the hall to the bathroom. She smoothed her skirt back out, smiling to herself as she padded into the kitchen. Sven had already left for the day, but he’d left a post-it note on the counter that said, “Thanks for leaving me a cup, Anna :)”

“You’re welcome,” she said aloud, then winced at the mess she’d made of the counter. Well, it was their apartment, but she’d been the one who’d somehow used three pans to make scrambled eggs, and so she rolled up her sleeves and got to work scrubbing the dishes. 

She was nearly finished when she felt Kristoff come up behind her and press his lips to the back of her neck, his hands settling around her waist. She turned, bubbles still on her hands, and slid her fingers into his damp hair as their lips met. 

“I love you,” he murmured against her mouth.

“Love you back,” she said, her hands sliding down to his shoulders so she could pull him into a hug, inhaling the clean, woodsy scent of his soap and letting herself be warmed from the inside out as he embraced her.

It occurred to her then how much easier it would be if instead of his-and-Sven’s and hers-and-Elsa’s it was just theirs, but they’d only been dating for not quite six months and– well. Was it too soon? She didn’t know; she’d never made it too far.

She pulled back just a little and, to her surprise, found the same vulnerability, the same longing, in Kristoff’s eyes that she felt in her heart. Neither of them gave voice to it, but a smile crept over their faces all the same. “Love you,” she said again, because she could and because it made him smile and because she meant it so damn much she would say nothing else for the rest of her life and still be content. She had never felt like this before, not about anyone or anything, had never treasured something like this– and never felt so treasured in return. Kristoff saw her, knew her, inside and out; had looked over each part of her, even the raw, aching pieces she had tried to hide, and cherished each of them, and god, she could only hope she’d loved him just as well in return.

He kissed her forehead, as if to say you have. “Love you back.”

—

She was halfway to the grocery store when her agent called. “Sam!” she greeted him cheerfully. “How are–”

“Seven hundred fifty thousand.”

“Um…what?”

“Dollars. That’s how much the studio just called me to offer.”

She jerked the wheel, pulling into a gas station parking lot before she passed out. “I– for–”

“Anastasia. They upped their offer because they know how many others you’re about to get.”

When had she started shaking? “Because–”

“Remember that movie with Sandra Bullock and the blindfolds?”

“Um…Bird Box?”

“Yes. This is bigger, Anna. This is the first time my phone’s been freed up to call you all morning. People love the movie.”

“And– so–”

“Shit, someone’s calling me again. Listen– can you come in this afternoon to sign the paperwork? Assuming you still want to take this job, because if not, like I said, there’s about to be plenty of other ones on the table.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, I’ll be right in, Sam, I–”

“Ah, shit, someone else is calling the landline– see you at two, okay?”

He hung up before she could say goodbye. For a long moment, she just leaned her forehead against the steering wheel, trying to comprehend the scope of seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars– for her, just for wearing a fancy dress and saying a few lines. The rest of her student loans, her credit card debt, Elsa’s student loans; she could go into any store on Rodeo and come out with too many bags to carry, could go back to the car salesman and this time pay cash for something new and embarrassingly shiny, she could buy a house–

A house. She could move out on her own if she wanted, maybe not pay for it all up front because this was still Los Angeles, but a mortgage would be nothing now if she wanted to stop renting, and she could furnish it and feed herself and buy a bed big enough to stretch from one wall to the other if she wanted– and maybe, if she was lucky, someone would even agree to share it with her.

She shot off a quick text to Kristoff telling him about the news; he was in a lab at the moment, so he wouldn’t respond for hours, but still she had to let him know. And there was something else to contemplate, in a day that had already been full of very big questions: when, exactly, had he become the first person she told about something, before even her own sister?

She didn’t know. She didn’t care. She pinched herself just to make sure she was really awake before starting the car up again and heading on her way. 

The first person to recognize her was a girl in a Stranger Things t-shirt in front of the bananas. She wanted a selfie, which Anna gladly posed for, secretly grateful that for once she had foregone wearing one of Kristoff’s sweatshirts out in public again. Next there was a guy by the bread who wanted her autograph, then another guy who saw her signing and said, “I’m not sure who you are, but this is LA, so why not?” and asked for it, too. And then the cashier started freaking out and said she loved the trailer and called her friend over even though she was in the middle of checking someone out, and then all the people in the checkout lines started craning their necks, and suddenly a huge group selfie was happening and someone was stepping on her toes, and she had been really really nice to all of them but finally she squeaked, “Uh, listen, guys, I have a meeting to get to–”

“Are you gonna be in another movie?” the girl in the Stranger Things shirt asked. Why was she still here? All she had in her cart were those bananas. “Is this a meeting with Netflix?”

“Uh, no comment?”

“Ohmygod, you are!”

“Um, well, I hope so, since I’m an actress. Anyway– bye!”

She took off at a clip, not realizing until she was already in her car and halfway up the road that she had left the bag with the avocados in it at the checkout lane. And she had promised to make guacamole– well. There was no way in hell she was turning back around for it. She liked people, really, but not when they were all crowding around her at once and asking her things she didn’t know the answer to and frantically tweeting about where she was. Elsa would just have to make do with plain tortilla chips.

A flashbulb went off when she pulled in to the agency parking lot, then two more as she walked in. A security guard met her halfway across the lot. “No fuckin’ photos here, assholes!” he yelled as he held one arm around her, blocking her face from view. “Sorry, miss. Sam sent me down here just in case. Normally we don’t have to bother, but damn, they’re persistent today.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, relieved. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“All in a day’s work,” he said, holding the door open for her. “Congratulations, by the way. Haven’t seen the movie yet, but my wife’s already texted me twice about it.”

She laughed. “Hope you enjoy it.”

Sam’s office was on the twelfth floor; she took the elevator ride to check her phone and found the screen full of notifications, so many she couldn’t seem to find the bottom. Scowling, she swiped it open and went to her messages– there were sixteen little notifications already, most of them from people she hadn’t spoken to since college. She had to scroll down to find Kristoff’s, something she hadn’t had to do since– well, since getting his number.

That’s amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud. 

People are talking about your movie between classes. :) Someone asked me if you were really my girlfriend and asked for your autograph. What do you want me to say?

.

love you sm 💕💕

honestly can u just tell them no?

kind of already been a crazy day

.

No you’re not my girlfriend, or the autograph, or both?

The elevator dinged open to reveal Sam with his arms open, saving her from having to answer. She didn’t know how to answer.

“There’s my star!” Sam cheered, pulling her into a tight hug. She went gladly; he had been her agent since even before she had graduated, when she’d been looking for work as a background character and he’d been willing to take her on. He’d been a father figure to her ever since, guiding her through all the ups and downs and helping her in every way he could.

“You have no idea how relieved I am to see you,” Anna sighed, squeezing him a little tighter than normal.

“That bad, huh?” he asked, gently patting her back. 

“Worse.”

“I’ll take care of it, kiddo,” he promised. “But first, let’s sign some papers.”

—-

At dinner, she thanked her lucky stars that Elsa and Honey were too wrapped up in staring at each other over the tortilla chips– thank god Honey at least had brought spinach dip– to wonder why she was being so uncharacteristically quiet. They raised a toast to her movie being a success, and then another to her signing the new contract, and then another to “sevenhundredfiftyfuckinthousand dollars, Anna, knew you were a star the moment I first did your eyeshadow!” and by then their cheeks were flushed enough from the wine that she knew she didn’t have to make much more conversation.

She’d been looking forward to this, really; she loved her sister, and Honey was rapidly becoming a close friend, and ever since the trip to Disneyland she’d been pestering them both for details of their budding romance. But today, all she could do was wonder if Honeymaren had had to ever deal with getting recognized in the streets, how Elsa would respond if paparazzi started camping outside the door, what either of them might say if she suddenly admitted she’d been thinking of moving out on her own. They’d probably be grateful, honestly, judging by the way Elsa had not-so-secretly slid her hand under the table to sit on Honey’s knee.

“I’m gonna call it a night,” Anna said suddenly, and they both turned to look at her, blinking their way out of the lovestruck haze they’d been caught in.

“But you didn’t even eat your cake,” Elsa said, frowning. “And it’s your favorite kind.”

“I know, I just– um. Kristoff, promised to call, long day, you know how it is,” she said, already pushing her chair back in and heading for the door. 

She’d eventually texted him back, up to you babe you decide, and he’d said It’s okay, class is already over for the day. Call you after work?

Her phone rang at 9:01, just like it always did. “Sorry,” she said, not bothering with a hello, “that I waited so long to text you back about that thing.”

“Hello to you, too,” he said, amused; she could hear the jingle of car keys in his hand.

“I just, um. Felt really bad about that. But I really didn’t know what to say.”

“‘S okay. Figured it was something like that, or a meeting or something.”

“There was a meeting, too, actually. Got the contract all signed and notarized, talked to my new publicist, started coming up with a PR plan, all the fun legal stuff.”

“What else happened?”

“What do you mean? That’s the exciting stuff.”

“You sound…I don’t know. Like something’s wrong.”

She bit her lip. “I just, uh…god, this is going to sound so stupid and self-pitying, but like, at Trader Joe’s some people recognized me, and it was cool when it was just one person coming up at a time, but then I was trying to check out and a bunch of people swarmed me, and then like, a security guard had to help me get into the agency—“

“A security guard? Anna, are you okay?”

If she said no, the next thing she would hear would be his turn signal as he made a u-turn and headed across town to her apartment. It was tempting, but he had a full load of classes tomorrow, from eight to five. “I’m good, really. There were just some photographers.”

He was quiet for a long moment. “Did you ever want to be this famous?”

“No. Well, of course I did, but like…it was never about, you know, this stuff. I want people to like who I am on the screen, not, y’know, sneak a picture of me squeezing avocados.”

“I was wondering what that twit was about.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” she said, suddenly close to tears, but the only response was silence. 

Finally he sighed. “Sorry. Are you really sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. But I just…can we just pretend this is like a normal night now? Just…tell me about your day, let me say some cheesy shit to you, tell me about what we’ll do tomorrow night.”

“Aye aye, captain,” he said, and she couldn’t help but smile. 

—-

The next morning, her plan to hide out all day was interrupted by her phone ringing at eight. She had finished talking to Kristoff just before ten and had spent the next several hours trying fruitlessly to sleep. Around six, she had finally succeeded, and so she was swearing when she tapped the red icon to make the stupid buzzing stop. 

It started again almost immediately, and she groaned as she reached across the bed to grab it. “Sam? We literally just spent all afternoon—“

“I know. But your publicist is here. We’ve already gotten three interview requests for you and a Hallmark producer breathing down our necks. Oh, and Twitter called to see if you have time to do the verification process today, and there’s a few designs here for potential awards show gowns, and— well. None of that is why I called you. I need you and the boyfriend here ASAP.”

“…Kristoff? Why?”

“We have to figure out our game plan before it’s too late.”

“Our game plan? Sam, what—“

“Shit, sorry, Hallmark guy again— I’ll explain later, gottagokiddobye!”

Eight-oh-five, and already today sucked. 

morning kris💕

sam wants us both for a meeting asap

i’ll pick u up from class?

.

Why me? Did I do something?

.

don’t know, honestly, don’t think so

something about a game plan

aren’t u in class?

.

Starting late. Professor dropped a liver again. 

.

ew

ew ew ew

idk how you do this shit

love you 

Try as she might, she couldn’t fall back asleep, not even after going for a long run, coming home and eating a turkey sandwich, and putting on Bob Ross. That usually worked even before the first happy little tree got finished. And Sam never did call back, so by the time she pulled onto campus, she was in a full-on Terrible Mood. 

And then Kristoff slid into the passenger seat and handed her a cup of hot chocolate. “We finished a couple minutes early. Thought you might need this.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before taking a sip. “What’s it like being the most thoughtful person in the world?”

His cheeks turned pink. “It’s nothing, Anna, really. Just wanted to help if I could.”

She couldn’t resist kissing his cheek again before starting the car back up. “You never did make it up to me, by the way.”

“Make up what?”

“Yesterday morning, when you interrupted me trying to go down on you to ask about Twitter.”

Now his whole face was red. “Anna, you can’t remind me of that right before I’m supposed to be in some big important meeting.”

“We have time to pull over. I’ll tell Sam there was traffic.”

He looked tempted, but then he glanced over and saw she wasn’t smiling. “No, baby, let’s get this over with so we can stop worrying about it.”

He held her hand as they walked in to the building, eyes darting around to make sure there were no hidden photographers lurking. Thankfully, they made it in without incident and were quickly ushered into Sam’s office, where he greeted them with an unusually tense smile. 

The publicist— at least, she assumed that was her— was sitting behind his desk, too. Anna sat in the same chair she always had, and Kristoff sat beside her, looking as if they were in a doctor’s office bracing for bad news. 

Was it going to be bad news? Judging by the look on the woman’s face—

She squeezed Kristoff’s hand, and he squeezed back. 

Sam sat down and cleared his throat. “So. The two of you are, presumably, in this for the long haul.”

“Yes,” Kristoff said immediately, and a new softness appeared in Sam’s eyes. 

“Then we need to figure out our plan to handle your public relationship,” the publicist said, steepling her fingers. “Lena, by the way. Lovely to meet you both, sorry it’s not under less intense circumstances.”

Anna swallowed hard. “Has something, like, happened? Has someone—“

“No, no,” Sam said quickly. “But at the rate your star is rising, we have to start figuring out how to handle the…fallout. Sorry, dramatic word,” he said, seeing their stunned expressions. “But, well…we need to decide if your relationship is going to be public. Because sooner or later, if we don’t start being proactive, that decision will be made for you.”

Kristoff tensed beside her, his fingers tightening around hers. Sweet, endlessly selfless Kristoff who still blushed when she kissed his cheek unexpectedly and stammered over the small talk customers tried to make while he was at work— 

“It can be, if— if that’s what Anna—“

“No,” she cut in quickly. “No. Kristoff is— he’s— no. And I just…no.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. “So keeping the whole thing under wraps?”

“Yes. Some parts of my life need to stay just for me. Just for us.”

She heard him let out a long breath beside her; he never would have dreamed of saying it himself, would do anything he could to support her in any way possible, but she never would have forgiven herself if she hadn’t spoken up on his behalf. 

“Probably for the best,” Sam said, looking sympathetic. “Things are only going to get crazier, kiddo.”

Lena nodded. “They are. If you two are out together, you’ll need to hide your faces. Both of you. If they find out where you live, where you spend your free time, you’ll have to stop going there together. Date nights only outside of the city. Sleepovers only if you leave separately. And Anna…you have to take down that tweet.”

“What tweet?”

“The one that says ‘love you too’ to an account with no other followers. You’ll need to unfollow him, too, unless you want someone to notice him in the list and look him up and find where you both live and start camping out there.”

Kristoff paled beside her. “They can do that?”

“Yes. They could already be trying. I know this is a lot, but it’s just what we have to do.”

Lena leaned over the desk, her eyes serious as they met Anna’s. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you guys. But you have to be careful.”

Anna barely heard the rest of the meeting, which was thankfully short; all of her focus was on Kristoff beside her, the way his shoulders had sagged a little more with every word, the way his thumb had started circling over hers, the sadness in his eyes as they faced each other in the elevator on the way back down. 

He started to say something, but Anna interrupted him. “Can you drive? Sorry, I just— I don’t know.”

He kissed her forehead and took the keys from her hand. As soon as she was seated, she pulled out her phone, opened Twitter, and with a few taps deleted the only online evidence of their relationship. It shouldn’t have bothered her as much as it did, just deleting a stupid tweet and unfollowing an account he’d never use again anyway, but god— it was just supposed to have been a stupid, cute gesture, something for them to laugh about, and now—

Kristoff reaches over and squeezed her knee. “It’s gonna be okay, Anna. Really.”

Neither of them spoke again until they were back at his apartment, afraid to meet each other’s gaze. 

“Pizza?” Kristoff asked finally, but Anna shook her head. 

“Not hungry. You eat something, though, I’m just— just gonna shower, okay?”

She didn’t wait for a response before heading to the bathroom. She shut the door firmly behind her, stripped out of her clothes, turned the water on as hot as it would go, and immediately burst into tears. 

She bit down on the back of her hand, hard, as a sob threatened to escape her. Of course you would be selfish like this, the voice in the back of her mind hissed, of course you would get the job everyone dreams of and fucking cry about it because it means people give a fuck about you. Pathetic. 

God, she was pathetic, standing here in a shower so hot her skin was already turning pink feeling sorry for herself while her boyfriend who actually did something worthwhile was waiting for her to get her shit together, a million times more patient than she had ever deserved. All because of a stupid meeting, a few new rules, unfollowing him on Twitter— fuck, she thought, remembering again his proud smile as he’d figured out how the stupid fucking thing worked for her. 

Eventually the hot water ran out, and she wrapped herself in the towel and went to his room, pulling on the biggest shirt and smallest pair of basketball shorts she could find before coming back out, not caring that her hair was wet and would dry all wonky.

He was asleep on the sofa when she came in at last; he had changed into his sweatpants and switched into his glasses, which now hung precariously on the tip of his nose. A book was still open on his chest, held in place by one limp hand and already beginning to slide. She crept over and carefully eased it out of his grasp, setting it face down on the coffee table so he wouldn’t lose his place. He still didn’t move even when she removed his glasses and set them aside; it made her want to weep all over again, seeing the purple shadows under his eyes. She heard a faint creak from behind her and turned to see that Sven had come back in to the kitchen to get a cup of water. He nodded in greeting and beckoned her over. She tiptoed to him and offered him a weak smile. “Hey,” she whispered, and he offered her a fistbump.

“Hey, superstar,” he said. “Your movie is all anyone talked about at lunch today. You okay?”

Her lip wobbled, and before she could say more he pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be good, Anna,” he said, patting her back. “Kris told me about the meeting. That’s shitty, man.”

“Yeah. But it’s…for the best.”

“It’s gonna be good,” he repeated, and then hesitated for a moment. “I’m, uh, I’m not good at the, like, nice, emotional support shit, but, uh, he like, stayed up late to watch the movie with me last night because he was proud of you and shit.”

“But he has that eight A.M. class–”

“I know, I told him that shit could wait. But he didn’t want to. I guess, uh, I don’t know if that helps. But like…shit, man. I haven’t seen him be this happy before. So I hope you guys can make it work.”

“Me, too.”

He let go of her with an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Anyway, uh, I got work tomorrow, so I’ll just…go back to my room. But I’m here if you need me, you know that, right?”

“Thanks, Sven.”

“Anytime.”

When she heard his door click shut again, she turned and looked back at Kristoff; he hadn’t budged. She went to his room and brought back a pillow and blanket. She lifted his head just enough to slide the pillow under; he blinked blearily and mumbled, “Anna?”

“Shh, baby,” she whispered, kissing his forehead, “go back to sleep.”

His eyes were shut again even before she had laid his head back down on the pillow. She draped the blanket over him and had just started to pull away when she felt his fingers brush against her wrist. His eyes were open again, sleepy but clear. “Come here,” he said softly, and she did; he raised one arm, and she nestled against him, their legs tangling as she laid her head on his chest. He pulled the blanket back up over them both and curled his arm tightly around her, determined to shelter her even in his sleep.

“Love you, Kris,” she murmured, but the only response was a soft snore. 

[hobohumanitarian6]

This is a long post so please be warned!!! I need to get some things off my chest....

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING POSSIBLE⚠️

Feedback to this post is open-ended. You cannot offend me and will not be blocked.

⭐ So here's the thing: one of my late grandmother's friends just posted that her 29 year old son died in his sleep with seemingly no explanation. This really shook me I guess. For one, I used to hang out with this kid during the summers a lot. My specific memories are very vague, but deep in my consciousness I know that I have called him friend in the past. For another, many things lately have been prompting me to ask the difficult questions ie

Why in the fuck am I here?

What's the meaning of it all?

When is my life going to get better?

How do I prepare myself for better things?

Am I blocking me or is something else blocking me?

What am I doing wrong that the universe doesn't think I'm ready for a new chapter?

Am I really with the right person?

What about the afterlife?

Am I going to be silenced or speak out?

What if I can't do some of things I want/dreamed of?

What is going to satisfy me if my future doesn't go as planned?

⭐ I've been doing quite a bit of soul searching through all of this, established the framework of the person I want to be and

BAM! 🧱 💥 🏃🏻‍♀️

Straight into a fucking. Brick. Wall.

⭐ I am in one of the worst continental states in the US (by even statistic) and before all of the shutdown and pandemic began, I had plans to be relocated with my new job, a place to call home & reunited with family by June 1st. Clearly that didn't happen....

⭐ I am spending $900 a month for a 250 ft² motel room just so I am not out on the streets.

Homelessness. Can we talk about that for a second? People getting arrested for being out past curfew because they don't have a place to go, put in jail because they're in the way, not tested or treated for the virus because they generally have no insurance, giving people loads of food stamps so the emergency assistance funding is broke-

600 dollars of groceries is a lot if you have a fridge, freezer, microwave, oven, toaster, etc not if you have to buy your food from overpriced convenience stores and gas stations and fresh food from grocery stores that 70% of the price is for the packaging it comes with!!

Soup kitchens closing because they don't want to risk contamination. Who's feeding those without a hot meal? Do they realize malnourishment is the quickest way to get sick with any pathogen!?

Shelters closed because of overpopulation. Domestic violence homes turning battered women and children away because there's too scarce of resources and funding. Yet people care about big corporations going bankrupt? Please tell me what the difference is between a goddamn human fucking life and a couple lawsuits because you didn't know how to prepare for an ever-changing economy.

Thank the universe i am sheltered with minimal resources to take care of myself and I have a steady job due to an enormous company's "chance on a down-in-the-dumps contractor." This job I have held steadily for a year despite chronic health issues has been the best thing to happen to me by far in a long time. I am definitely not by any means complaining about my job or that I even have life necessities right now. Several million don't have that.

⭐ The problem with this state is there are no resources for a person who's struggling to make an honest living. I lost my apartment two years ago because I had to take a medical leave of absence at my job then, got behind on rent and was evicted without a chance to catch up. The power was cut three nights before I had to leave, and I owe a deposit on the electric company to get any type of service back in my name. The realty company who owns the apartment complex will not allow a payment plan without a fraction of the principle paid down, so therefore I cannot apply for private or realty housing and I have been on the waiting list for federal housing assistance for 3 years without a single word. I also had my bank card stolen with my ID when I was trying to catch a bus to work a few weeks after that so whoever it was made small purchases that my bank applied interest and late charges to so that is also standing in debt. Thank universe my current employer allows direct deposit to a savings account at a bad credit institution or I'd be royally fucked.

⭐ Before I made the hard decision to doll out almost a G a month just for a room, I tried sleeping in my pickup. I even took the effort to pallet it for a platform bed & make benches to live in free campgrounds, cemeteries, truck stops, boonie dead ends, and behind abandoned buildings. I had a 12V converter that I connected to a rice cooker and made a tin can stove to grill small portions of meat on a single-egg mini skillet. I kept getting chased off by rangers, cops, annoying people trying to do crack and not get their lives better, and eventually violently detained for "suspicious activity" - I was thrown on the ground, put in handcuffs, patted down by a male officer with no female present, searched my vehicle without consent & written a citation: this was 2 am, I had a campsite reservation, I was clearly sleeping & my vehicle was current. The officers did not give me their name or numbers so I could not make a report.

⭐ I have chronic health issues - hip dysplasia & hyper mobility (not severe enough to be EDS), anemia, rexhia (NOT PRO ANYTHING), pre diabetes, H.S, BPD, PTSD, endometriosis & chronic migraines. I have filed time and time and time again for medical assistance but have always been denied. Every time I try to see a doctor, they claim I have this-or-that infection caused by this-or-that disorder, sent to an overpriced pharmacy with illness-irritating antibiotics that just keep me in an unending cycle of flares and barely-managable pain. Do not let anyone privileged or wealthy confuse you - you are not treated the same if you don't have coverage. Sorry to say but it is indeed a fact.

⭐ With this job I work 40-50 hours a week, eat as healthy as I can on a dime sized budget, and cover all my expenses. Yet I cannot move forward in this state on to better things. I want so badly to have a family, to go to college, etc but I cannot do this with living month to month someplace that isn't even my own.

⭐ The emotional affect this has had on me is tremendous. I am embarrassed of my situation, and never allow any guests in fear they'd judge me. I never take any photographs, which is heartbreaking because it has been one of my long-time hobbies. I am extremely guarded and I lie about small details to protect myself. I have severe trust issues and I always hold a dagger at my waist because I have to assume any minute you'll pull out a Glock.

⭐ Naturally I am an empath and this has brought me more compassion and understanding than I ever thought possible. The police brutality against people of color and racism in socio-economic programs truly breaks my heart because as a white female and all the struggles and discrimination I've endured, I can only begin to understand it's 1000x harder for people of color especially. I stand behind your protests 100%. I beseech you, go fight for what you deserve! I will be begging higher powers for your protection indefinitely!

⭐ I have gained a new perspective on non-profit organizations and volunteer work. Some are truly amazing and their stories move people to tears; others are truly wicked stealing from the poor, embezzling cash flow for their own vanities. Please please please research the charity you are interested in thoroughly before getting involved. Volunteer work will always be appreciated- and will teach you many invaluable lessons. If you help these organizations and need help yourself: respect yourself, hold yourself high, and ask for the assistance. They will generally be more inclined to help. If you are turned away, try not to be bitter. Administrators only do as they see fit.

⭐ That's another thing - bitterness. This has been the most vile and roughest character default I've ever had to battle with myself. When you've been through the shit and you can't see the sewer (sts) it's so easy to stay in the dumps. It's so easy to feel entitled because you've clawed your way to the top. It's easy to feel angry with everyone because it's you vs the system. It's so fucking easy to give up completely and stop trying and just lay down and die. It's easy to step in front of a two ton bus, oncoming freight train, taking the entire package of extra strength Excedrin not because you have a migraine, but just not to feel a thing, go completely numb for one single second. It's easy to go down to the head shop and get a nickel bag of weed to chill and get a 5$ pizza and forget you have responsibilities.

IT'S SO FUCKING TOUGH MAN

⭐ Growing up strictly religious, I tend to shy away from Christianity or other "preachy religion" now. I hate having Jesus shoved down my throat at a service before a hot meal on a Tuesday night and the "speaker" automatically assuming I need to stop smoking crack and going to jail and get my life back on track and God will bless me when I'm in the 46% who has never been to county and hold a job while trying to get back on my feet.

ADDICTION IS NOT POVERTY GUYS

I still support people who go to church and speak in tongues if that satisfies them. I still support people who are strictly vegetarian and make a pilgrimage to the mecca if that satisfies them. I still support people who have 7 two week long feasts a year for something that happened 4000 years ago if that satisfies them. I still support people who believe in baptisms for the dead and not drinking coffee if that satisfies them. I still support people who call Jesus the Nazarene and believe that Lucifer the Dark Lord will prevail if that satisfies them. I still support people who call down the power of the moon into their plant babies and give thanks to the triple goddess if that satisfies them. I support religion or practices of all kinds.

I believe I was meant to be tolerant and be good to others. That this life will give back what you put in. That there is a higher power that governs all and it is up to you to determine just what that is to you. Not to tell people what is wrong with their lives just based on your personal story.

⭐ During this pandemic, I have done a lot of soul searching. Journaling, listening to podcasts, listening to seminars on values I'd never know existed, trying to discover who I am. This journey has included empathy training, reiki, yoga, somatic movement, feldenkrais methods, and astral meditation. I just have a list of these questions I'd like answered or given suggestions to:

What do you believe is the meaning of life? Is there any philosophers, speakers, teachers, theologians, writers, musicians etc that can help answer this?

What is your definition of religion in it's rawest form?

Do you know of any resources I may not have thought of?

Is there any criticism you can give good or bad?

Am I focused on one thing and neglecting another?

Do you have any further opinions on the topics listed above?

Do you have a suggestion of the next right step?

Do you have ideas on how I can help with the aforementioned problems?

How do I stop feeling like I'm wasting my time?

How do I find contentment in everything should I die tomorrow?

What is your opinion of the afterlife?

How do you find happiness in the midst of bullshit?

What did a friend/relative/mentor tell you when you were going through an existential crisis?

Have you felt trapped too? Due to the covid or otherwise?

Any curse words, songs, books, movies, etc of use?

🌸🌸I sincerely appreciate any feedback 🌸🌸

[unovasrage]

black2 dialogue analysis / p1

start > castelia sewers

ASPERTIA CITY

Hyu: Hey! You get a pokémon yet? There aren't any pokémon Trainers around here, and I'm getting bored! What's that? ... A person named Bianca is giving you a pokémon? Really?!" Vera: When you get a pokemon take really, really good care of it, okay?

[ Hyu turns and simply stares at his sister. ]

Hyu: ... ... yeah. Alright. Come on. There’s something I have to do. And to do that, I need someone I can trust besides my partner Pokémon. A person I can trust! That's right! I'm talking about you!

Hyu is absolutely 100% blaming himself for seeing that Vera seems to feel she’s at fault for letting Purrloin get captured / that she couldn’t “take care” of her pokemon. B2 breaking Hyu’s heart from the very start like nobody’s business.

Hyu: You’re really lucky to get a pokémon! Once you get a pokémon, you leave on a journey right away. When you do that, I’m gonna have you help me out!

I’ll come back to these mentions of Hyu having protag support him later

Hyu: Let’s see how good a trainer you are! I’ll use my pokémon that I raised from an egg!

Hyu you okay buddy you literally just got that like 13 seconds ago

Hyu, first non-KO hit: I won’t forget the pain you just put my partner through! Hyu, defeated: I couldn’t achieve victory for my partner ... I won’t let myself forget this frustration! Hyu, after defeat: I lost ... this is different than battling with wild pokémon! Well, whatever. I’m just happy to know you’re a trainer I can count on! Cool. I’m heading off first! Get stronger!

Hyu is a pokémon empath evidence no.1 / he literally feels some of what pokémon he’s bonded to experience in battle. I’ll get to this in a different hc dump / dialogue analysis further down the line. He doesn’t realize at this point, though, and his big dumdum energy exists / he thinks it’s completely normal for trainers to be able to feel what their pokémon feel ( physically ) + understand their pokémon’s emotions with pinpoint accuracy

That said, he’s also using this pain to fuel his anger / his anger to fuel his determination and will to destroy Plasma.

ASPERTIA CITY > HYU’S HOUSE

Hyu’s Dad: To be honest, I don’t want my son to go on a journey. I mean, his goal is ... ... but there is no parent who doesn’t wish for their child to grow.

Hyu’s Mom: If Hyu loses his way on the path, or in life really, please help him, won’t you? He’s the kind of person who, well, who lets rage build inside him.

Hyu’s dad appears to be a retired black belt based solely on his attire. I’ll hc this later.

Hyu’s parents are 100% in the loop and in the know of how revenge-driven and angry Hyu is no matter how much he may have thought he was / successfully bottling up his anger aside from immediately flaring at the mere mention of Plasma or the raid on Aspertia. His parents have tried to dissuade him from the goal he set for himself / what he’s sworn he’ll dedicate his life to, yet they’re willing to support him regardless of his steadfast determination because he’s their son.

His father, at least, hopes that maybe if Hyu is allowed to complete this goal he’s set for himself, he’ll finally be able to move on -- he’ll finally be able to “grow”.

Meanwhile his mother knows her son, sees how stuck on revenge he is by the negative emotions (exclusively) he associates with Plasma, and how much of himself he’s putting into his promise to Vera. She can see how much getting revenge has completely and utterly consumed him to the point she worries he won’t have a path in life after he accomplishes his goal.

Lo and behold it is already canon on this blog that he was, and still is, lost now that he has no driving force for a goal in his life. So, Hyu’s mom, you weren’t wrong.

What his mother’s dialogue also shows is how well protag knows Hyu’s parents know protag / how much they know protag is a friend to her son because she’s basically entrusting her son to a neighborhood kid since she’s not going on the pokemon journey. It also indicates that if there’s one person that would be able to help Hyu on the path of life, and get to him through his anger / guilt / grief, it’s protag. 

FLOCCESY RANCH

Ranch Owner: Eh Herdier doesn’t normally wander off like this ... I’m sure he’ll come back soon. I’m just a little worried. Hyu: You’re “a little worried”? Are you KIDDING me?! Your pokémon might be lost forever! Whatever! I’ll look!

[ Hyu stomps off to look for the Herdier. ]

Ranch Owner: Jeez...

Alright Hyu is hot from the start, and immediately starts seething from the get-go because the owner is merely shrugging off the situation, which he’s acknowledged is odd. Although in a calmer frame of mind Hyu can acknowledge the trust in his pokemon / confidence he has Herdier will return, the switch in Hyu’s brain thinking about Plasma has already been flipped and that sort of acknowledgement isn’t going to happen. Hyu speaks snappily at the owner ( a grown ass adult, making Hyu himself seem like an ill-mannered, poor-tempered kid who’s angry for no reason ) because he has no reservations about full on yelling at an adult even though he’s just a teenager, and this illustrates that.

Hyu, searching for Herdier: Still, pokémon don’t just wander off on their own. In a worst-case scenario, it might be involved in some trouble!

Angry as he is at the dope of the Ranch Owner, you bet your everything Hyu is stressing internally and vowing he’ll literally exhaust himself to find this Herdier so that another person doesn’t have to suffer the same pain Vera did.

( Herdier returned, Ranch Owner basically just says “Thanks” )

Hyu: You’re awfully calm about this! Your pokémon might have been gone for good! Take better care of it!

[ Hyu stomps off, having quite literally triggered by the entire situation, and practically shaking with simultaneous anger and relief. ]

Ranch Owner: Hmm ... I wonder if something happened to him?

You can bet your ass Hyu was actually cussing @ the Ranch Owner, though this is a children’s game so ofc no swearing was written out.

Unfortunately through the course of getting his anger verbalized at the Owner, protag had to stand there awkwardly like when you go over to a friend’s house as a kid and they get in trouble with their parent and get disciplined right in front of you / would also have a pit in their stomach because they know.

Also who the fuck just asks “I wonder if something happened to him?” publicly / out loud / loud enough for someone obviously a friend to hear? That’s the equivalent of asking someone to their face “what is wrong with you?” Super rude and ouch how dare you but also I hate to admit the Ranch Owner wasn’t on to something.

ROUTE 20

Nothing of import.

VIRBANK CITY

Hyu: Shut it! You guys are the worst! You talk about saving pokémon, but you're just pokémon thieves! Don't think I'll ever forgive you! I'll crush you and your new plans! I can never forgive Team Plasma! Hyu, after defeating Plasma: Tsk! What a bunch of creeps! Hyu, getting ready for Castelia: I’m going to look for Team Plasma! I can’t forgive those guys!

Hyu undoubtedly calls Grunts every insult under the sun that he can possibly think of and string into words. He knows mere grunts aren’t the ones he needs to exhaust his anger / energy on, but he makes sure they feel his hatred nonetheless in any way he can manage. He can at least discriminate, however slightly, between Grunts and the people truly responsible for he / his family’s grief.

CASTELIA CITY

Hyu: That's a strange ship. A sailing ship in this day and age?

Hyu baby your dumdum energy is showing. Though I suppose even noticing that is being more observant / demonstrating greater intelligence than many people give you credit for.

Hyu: Did you find Team Plasma?! (If No): Augh! Those dirty pokémon theives! (If Yes): Uh ... thanks ... but you don’t need to lie to me just so I won’t be disappointed!

Hyu is fairly quick to pick up on lies / shorts of truth, even if they’re said with a straight face. This doesn’t mean he’s a human lie detector but he’s usually pretty good at it.

CASTELIA SEWERS

Hyu: I need you to get tougher! Even I'm going to have trouble taking them on all by myself ... Anyway, it's okay! I'll take care of healing our pokémon! I'm counting on you! Are you ready to go?

( if talked to ... )

Hyu, 1x: I’m sorry I got you mixed up in this, but I can’t forgive Team Plasma!

Immediately blaming himself for yet another person even having to experience Plasma.

Hyu, 2x: So this is the sewer ... well, it’s not as stinky as I expected. Hyu, 3x: Still ... pokémon live everywhere, don’t they? Hyu, 4x: If you don’t get strong, you can’t protect the things that are important to you!

This is a first allusion to how Hyu views himself as weak / not strong enough ( aside from the statement admitting even he might have trouble alone ) to protect what’s important to him, spurred first by being unable to protect Vera, her Purrloin, and by extension his grandfather.

Hyu, 5x+: Don’t worry about me! Let’s hurry and find Team Plasma!

[ Hyu approaches Plasma ]

Hyu: Hey! Team Plasma! You villains! ( ... ) Liberate? Ha! You’re just ordinary pokémon thieves! And what’s more, you use those stolen pokémon like they’re tools! Let’s do this!

Hyu is so set on defeating Plasma alone. He repeatedly tells the protag, “I need to be strong(er)”, “I need you to be strong so you can support me”, “I need you to be strong so you can have my back”, “Back me up, (name)!”. He perceives defeating plasma as a “me” task rather than an “us” in perspective of he and his childhood friend on an adventure. Even though he’s relying on protag for support, he’s not putting their responsibilities re: Plasma on the same ground as his own perceived responsibility.

Also when you enter Castelia’s sewers you’ll notice Hyu is waiting inside. You can bet your ass that he charged inside alone / didn’t think twice about waiting for protag but when he got in there he realized he couldn’t see shit, so he waited. This is why he said the “Even I might have trouble” bit earlier... he left it vague and open-ended intentionally. Throughout their time in the sewers, Hyu kept very close to protag.

[charminglatina]

Riverdale Characters as That 70′s Show Characters. ⚡️

Eric Albert Forman is the main protagonist of That '70s Show. He is portrayed by Topher Grace. Eric was born on March 5, 1960 to Red Forman and Kitty Forman. Eric is the youngest child in a family of four, consisting of his strict, war-veteran father, Red, his doting mother with impending separation anxiety, Kitty, and his evil, promiscuous, troublesome older sister, Laurie Forman. He also becomes the foster brother to his best friend, Steven Hyde, after Hyde had been abandoned by his own mother. Eric is the front-man and ringleader of the circus, but is rarely respected. He is the one who comes up with the plans and schemes, often trying to break free of his "square goody-goody rep." But such plans often do backfire in one way or the other. He is often left holding the bag (his friends abandon him) and he is then ridiculed by them for getting in trouble. Eric is a nice guy at heart, who is geeky and somewhat clumsy. He is a smart-aleck teenager, with a lightning-fast wit and a sarcastic, deadpan sense of humor. He is also quite brave and somewhat scrappy. Eric is often picked on for his slight stature and is likened to "Opie" (for the character Opie Taylor, from The Andy Griffith Show), and Archie Bunker by his friends. Unfortunate nicknames include "Foreplay" (by Casey Kelso), "Foreskin" (by Donna), and "Zitty Stardust" (in reference to him being unable to take a zit-free yearbook photo). His girlfriend Donna is physically stronger than him (and everyone else in the group, really---except for Randy). However, when incensed enough, Eric will stand up to anyone, even his father, whom he tells off when Red handles Kitty's apparent pregnancy badly – Eric tells Red to be a man for her. He stands up to both of his parents in his insistence on marrying Donna, despite their repeated attempts to stop him. He threatens Casey Kelso with serious injury if he hurt Donna, and even defends his father by breaking another teen's nose, when the latter says that Red "should have been smart and planned ahead, like my dad". Eric also beats a Green Bay Packers fan up during a game, after he insults Eric for wearing a Chicago Bears jersey, which has Red proudly comment that his son has the "Forman Rage". The Forman Rage is the trait that all people of the Forman clan have. It causes people to have extreme feats of anger with the promise of hurting someone in the process. Red is most famously a proponent of losing his temper, yelling at people or threatening to shove his foot one way or another up someone's ass especially Eric's in particular. Eric has had many typical teen-age jobs over the series. He has worked at the fictional Fatso Burger, Price Mart, a dog food factory, and at the Holiday Hotel as a waiter. At the beginning of the series, Red vehemently opposed Eric's trying to get another job during the second season citing that it would interfere with his school work and make it harder for him to get into a good college far away, and Kitty supported Red by designating Eric's job as being her "precious baby boy". In season seven he was much ridiculed by his father when he took a year off from school and work to contemplate his future and enjoy being lazy. Eric enjoyed this being another one of many thorns in Red's side. Eric is a well-known fan of sci-fi, such as Star Trek and especially when it comes to Star Wars, which is cause for much ridicule at the hands of his exasperated family and friends. He is known to keep a collection of Star Wars models and figurines. Eric has a large collection of G.I. Joe figures and has stubbornly refused to give them up over the years. Red never liked then and referred to them as "those dolls" whenever they came up in conversation. From Red's comment that the G.I. Joes lost the "Dumpster War of 1979", which is one of the things he says to Eric when Kitty sends him a tape of them and his friends to Africa, it is safe to assume Red threw them out. Eric likes bands such as Led Zeppelin, KISS, Aerosmith, Pink Floyd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Styx , and Rush. He is also a Beatles fan and has been known to liken his group of friends to them, accusing Jackie of "breaking up the band" with her romantic entanglements with Kelso and Hyde. It is also hinted that he is a Spider-Man fan, having Spider-Man bedsheets and a considerable amount of comic books, most of them bearing the Marvel Comics logo with the titular character on the covers, and when he fought a fan at the Packers game, he tells Red that he learned his moves from Spider-Man (coincidentally, Topher Grace starred in Spider-Man 3 in 2007). Eric is usually very supportive of his friends, even though it is usually not reciprocal. On several occasions when the gang found themselves in a predicament as the result of a prank gone awry or some other unforeseen circumstance, the rest of the group take off, leaving Eric to absorb the brunt of the trouble, after which the gang (particularly Hyde) hassle and tease Eric for getting into trouble (as in Stolen Car, Eric Gets Suspended, Eric's Hot Cousin and Rip This Joint). This has much to do with Eric's trusting nature and indicates that what he lacks in physical strength and courage, he more than makes up for in strength of character. Eric however, has been known to get his revenge on his backstabbing friends from time to time, such as when Kelso took the gang on a Dine and Dash without telling them, and eventually stranding Donna and Eric alone. They garnered revenge by making some "Special Brownies" which the group occasionally enjoyed, however in this case, Eric had made them with laxatives. This was a huge hindrance for Fez, whose girlfriend had arrived to make amends just as he ran for the bathroom. At times, however, Eric's friends will come to his aid when he is truly at the end of his rope. His less morally-inclined friends are quick to take advantage of this and also take it for granted, however Eric is also quick to stand up for himself to them and set things straight whenever he feels wronged by his friends' actions. Eric is the best friend and foster brother of rebel Steven Hyde. When Hyde's mother left town at the end of the first season, Eric tried to persuade his parents to do something about his best friend's living conditions and thus Hyde was invited to live with the Formans, which he does for most of the series. And when Red was quick to throw Hyde out after an arrest for possession, Eric actually attempts to come to his rescue. Eric's relationship with his parents centers around his trying to prove his maturity and independence to them. Eric's father Red is a well-known authoritarian and often refers to Eric as "dumbass" and "boy". He frequently threatens 'to put his foot in Eric's ass.' Red finds Eric lacking qualities he feels a grown man should possess including physical strength, sportsmanship, and interest in manly pursuits like hunting, fishing, etc. Oddly, Eric is in many ways a younger version of his father. Both display a dry sense of humor and tend to be the sanest people in their circle of friends. Eric's mother Kitty typically supports Eric against Red and often scolds Red for being too hard on Eric. However, she also does not consider Eric to be a man and often refers to him as her "precious baby boy." Eric appreciates his mom's support but her overblown displays of affection often leave him feeling embarrassed. At times, Kitty's love for Eric borders on Hitchcockian. His mother is often insecure about being replaced by Donna as the woman in Eric's life. Their rivalry is played up in many episodes (often comically, but sometimes to the point of it being a problem). In theory, she is okay with a sexual relationship between Donna and Eric, even pressing the two to discuss it with her, but in reality she goes into a depression after learning that Eric and Donna had sex and considers Donna a harlot who stole her baby boy away from her. Eric assured Kitty he would always need her because, "Dad's going to be riding my ass for the rest of my life!" When Eric tells his parents about his plan to teach in Africa for a year, his mother is less than thrilled. This is most notably, and comically presented when, the morning after his announcement, Kitty fixes everyone at the breakfast table a smiley-face breakfast with eggs and bacon and then hands Eric a plain pancake with, "nothing smiling up at you, nothing." Even with a couple days before his departure, Kitty reveals that she hid mailed notifications that Eric must receive certain vaccinations before his departure. Eric protests his mom's actions but she still tries to dissuade hims stating that the needles used for the vaccinations are really large and will hurt a lot. After Eric disobeys his parents' orders not to go forward with his marriage to Donna, Red finally deems Eric a man and offers his blessing while a devastated Kitty turns on Red for allowing her "precious baby boy" to get married. Eric's relationship with his older sister Laurie is based on mutual ridicule and compliment or more ridicule based on the execution and content of their mutual mockery. Eric continually rides his sister for being a whore while she chides him for being weak and less favored by their father. On several occasions, Eric and Laurie have tolerated each other and shown a brother-sister bond. When Eric saw his parents having sex, Laurie tried to comfort him, including hugging him and stroking his hand. In the middle of a fight between the two, Hyde tried to break it up, and the two teamed up on him, complimenting each others insults. Eric once even defended Laurie from Red. After discovering that Laurie moved out and was living with a man, Red started insulting her and pushing her away (now that he had to see her for what she was), to which Eric defended her saying that Red was being too hard on her. Laurie once told Eric and Donna to move away after they got married and even cried during her apology. Eric first had to taste the tear, and, deeming it legitimate, Eric replied "I have a sister!" and hugged her. She somewhat cleaned up her act, but then sunk back into her old patterns of screwing around. Eric seems to dislike Jackie the most out of the gang. This is especially noted when, in an early episode, Red says to Eric that Jackie is his favorite out of his friends, and Eric points out that she is not one of his friends. Jackie is generally demeaning towards Eric due to his effeminate qualities and physical weakness, and believes him to be unworthy of Donna (despite the fact that she does not think much of Donna either), leading to his dislike of her. In the episode "Time is on my Side", Eric is about to fall off the water tower, Jackie refuses to help him, saying "Eww, you touched Pee-tos". (Fez had early found Cheetos in the woods and said they felt damp and Kelso jumped to the conclusion that something peed on them.)However, as the series progresses, it is shown that they develop a tolerance for and eventually a friendship with each other. As early as season 2, after Jackie breaks up with Michael Kelso, Eric stands up to comfort her. Eric is the first person Jackie told when she suspected she was pregnant in the first season, and they have been known to occasionally help each other out. In the episode "Jackie's Cheese Squeeze," Eric admits that they are "friends," as long as they do not refer to each other as such in public, and in the season 7 finale, Jackie calls Eric from Chicago and admits that she is always cared for him and considers him a good friend. Throughout the series Eric had one steady girlfriend – Donna. They have been on and off throughout the series but for the most time they are together. Eric and Donna have been next door neighbors ever since they were children.  When Donna first moved in and first met Eric, she punched him in the stomach for looking at her funny. It was at that moment that Eric fell madly in love with Donna. They later became the best of friends and hung out with each other all the time. Eric's love for Donna continued on and on, but he didn't admit his love for her until they were 16 in 1976, when Eric Forman takes his car out of town when explicitly told not to, and impresses Donna who decides to give him their first kiss. They don't start going out immediately, but take their relationship slowly, unsure how to show their interest in each other and getting advice from their friends on how to act now that their relationship has changed. When the gang goes to a disco, Eric doesn't dance with Donna, but later admits that he hates disco and went because he likes her, which is the first time he tells Donna how he feels about her. They go on to discover many firsts together, like making out at the drive-in and what it means to be exclusive as teenagers, when Eric kisses another girl.Meanwhile, Hyde is still competing for Donna's affections and they both give her Christmas gifts, while Donna in turn, give both the guys Christmas gifts, although she signals her interest in Eric by giving him the watch he wears for the remainder of the show, while she gives Hyde socks. They go on their first date on Valentine's Day and during the date, Donna unexpectedly becomes intoxicated, which only makes the experience more uncomfortable than it should have been, for Eric especially, as he wanted to give her his class ring. Despite Hyde showing up and professing his feelings for Donna one last time, Donna chooses Eric. Their relationship becomes very public when Bob accidentally finds out that Midge put Donna on the pill, then Kitty and Red find out, although Eric and Donna aren't sleeping together. They go to the prom together and consider sleeping together for the first time, but feel that the timing is off. Eric at times gets insecure about how the world views their relationship, as he himself has trouble seeing his own worth and value. This comes to the fore when a guy Eric hates hits on Donna, and when they go to a disco but only Donna is let in at first and Eric is the last to be let in. Eric is also continually insecure about Donna falling for Hyde, noticeably when Donna's parents start fighting and she suffers from it, confiding in Hyde instead of Eric.Eric and Donna's relationship gradually grows and Donna confesses to Eric that she loves him, only for him to respond that he loves cake. Eric gets his act together after many attempts and tells Donna that he loves her as well. After Donna's parents renew their vows, Donna expresses to Eric that he was the inspiration for her vows and they have sex for the first time. Eric believing he has brought Donna much disappointment by, "Being lame in the sack", is reassured by Donna that sex can only get better from their first time. Their relationship appears to only have become stronger, yet it gradually starts falling apart, when Donna becomes more serious about her work as a DJ at WFPP, which irritates Eric as Donna is very content focusing on her job. Eric feels that she isn't taking their relationship or him seriously, as she would blow off dates to work. Donna tries to make Eric see how important her job is to her, and that, regardless of all the rock stars she may encounter, she is mad at him for not trusting that she is faithful to him. A lot of their strain in this time stems from Eric's continued insecurity that he's never going to be 'good enough' for Donna or who she really wants to be with later in life. This was already evident when David Milbank hit on Donna and she berated Eric for not trusting her. Eric tries to hold on by giving her a promise ring and Donna returns it to him saying she can't make those kinds of promises, which breaks Eric's heart and he ends their relationship, breaking Donna's heart. Eric and Donna stay separated, but manage to figure out a way to stay friends. This is shown when Eric goes to pick up Donna to go to the prom, but stays with her while there are tornado warnings in their town. Donna develops a romantic interest in Casey Kelso (Kelso's older brother), which everyone but Eric (and later Michael) seems to approve of. When Casey and Donna break up, Donna runs to Eric to be consoled only for Eric to tell her he wasn't going to be a rebound for her. Distraught, Donna chooses to run away to California with Michael (who on the other hand is running away from Jackie). Eric realizes how much of a mistake he made after talking with his parents and leaves to find Donna, deciding to lay on her bed until she returns, only to find out later she ran away to California with Kelso. Eric goes to California at the end of summer to tell Donna how much he loves her and that he wants to be with her and they reconcile. Eric decided that he wanted something big for him and Donna and he decided to propose to her on the Water Tower. Their engagement was disapproved by many especially Eric's father Red, who felt Eric wasn't being wise. Eric took Red's cruel punishment and received his blessing for doing so. Eric and Donna decided to move to Madison to start their life together and want to do so but are held back after Red suffers a heart attack. Donna is still moving away to college, but stays until the last bus to spend Eric's 18th birthday with him. But she proves that she can't leave him because it is too much of an adjustment to her life. Donna and Eric go through premarital counseling because of their pregnancy scare and this is where they decide to stop having sex until they are married. Eric and Donna go through all the premarital events like wedding shopping and even Eric destroying Donna's wedding dress. As the day approaches, Eric begins to have second thoughts after a dream he has. When it was time for the wedding rehearsal, Eric was a no show only to leave Donna in anger. He comes back to explain his cold feet and Donna explains her cold feet as well.Donna and Eric remain together even after their called off wedding. In the end of Season 7, Eric moves to Africa to teach kids in order to pursue his dream of helping people. In almost every episode Eric somehow makes a mess in his relationships with Donna, then makes it worse and near the end of the episodes wins back her heart. Eric even cared for Donna throughout Season 4 when they broke up and when she ran away to California. Later he proved his love to Donna in the beginning of season 5 when he went to California to bring her back. Later that season he proposes to Donna with the idea of a secret marriage which later became known to everyone. Eric later breaks off the engagement in fear that he is holding Donna back and that she will leave him. He later comes back to talk to Donna in the middle of the night and she decides to forgive him and they just return to a regular relationship. When Eric left to Africa in the end of season 7 he and Donna grew apart. He came back in the series finale and the two shared a kiss. Eric made peace with her and the two got back together at the end of the series.

Being the show's main character for the first seven seasons, Eric appears in many storylines. The show opens with Eric, a scrawny, socially awkward 16-year-old, dealing with his ever-evident and growing crush on the girl next door, Donna Pinciotti. During this time, Eric obtains the signature 1969 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser and takes it out of town, despite his father's warnings not to. This, evidently, impresses Donna and leads to the pair's first kiss. The next episode, Eric's Birthday set on March 5, 1976 (originally making him born in 1959), sees the pair dealing with their kiss as well as Eric's long-awaited 17th birthday. As the series progresses, Eric's friends' influence over him begins to surface as he finds himself arrested due to Kelso being caught driving a stolen car while he was a passenger, due to an earlier ban on his Vista Cruiser. Eric and Donna soon share a first date, but all goes awry as Donna becomes intoxicated due to a mix-up with the drink order, causing an awkward and uncomfortable experience for Eric. During the high school prom, the two decide to rent a nearby motel room for after, though ultimately decide not to engage in intercourse after receiving the attention of fellow students. Coinciding with the beginning of his relationship with Donna, Eric must deal with killing his grandmother when he screamed at her, sharing a rare bonding moment with his father Red, and his best friend Hyde's abandonment. It is Eric who ultimately decides that Hyde should move in with them. Season 2's episode, "Halloween" revealed that it was Eric who causes Hyde's downward spiral to rebellious stoner due to Eric framing Hyde for the destruction of a classmates school work. The pair end up in an argument, but all is resolved as they choose to forget it ever happened. Eric is suspended from school for smoking on school property after taking the blame but is allowed to return to school when the truth is later revealed. He also received his first steady job from his father at PriceMart and Donna and Eric lose their virginity to each other at Midge and Bob's renewal wedding vows. Throughout season three, the pair's relationship holds a steady foundation despite Eric's constant awkward antics, such as accidental sexism and pantsing Donna. However, things take a turn for the worse as Eric's offer for a promise ring is rejected by Donna and he decides that if she doesn't see a future with him they should break up. Despite it being his decision, this leads him to spiral into depression, dreaming at one point what it would be like if he had never dated Donna. He is angered on several occasions as Donna deals with their breakup and the downfall of her parents' marriage by acting insultingly toward him, even publishing in the school's newspaper a story that parallels their relationship. He is also resentful of her relationship with Michael Kelso's older brother Casey, who is offensive and smug. When Donna begins acting out due to Casey's influence, Eric becomes concerned but refuses to take her back the evening Casey breaks up with her. Regretting it instantly, Eric goes to find her to once again reconcile, and learns that she and Michael have taken off for California where they spend the remainder of the summer. Despite his parents foreboding, Eric takes off after Donna and they reconcile instantly and continue their relationship. Later, Eric contemplates in front of his friends the idea of proposing to Donna, something they all instantly point out the idiocy. However, the two do get engaged as he proposes, somewhat awkwardly, atop the water tower. After taking the SAT's he realizes he got the lowest score of the group, even getting a worse score than Kelso,[9] prompting him to work harder in order to marry Donna. Eric also thinks hard about his future, choosing to move to Madison with Donna. In the fifth season, Eric and Donna become engaged, despite widespread discouragement (and anger, in the case of Red). Eric caused Red to have a heart attack as a result. However, they refuse to call off the engagement and remain engaged until the end of the sixth season. Eventually, they both begin to experience pre-wedding jitters and Eric, acting upon these feelings, skips his wedding rehearsal. He then returns in the next episode and Donna forgives him. After spending much of 1978–79 lazing around, Eric eventually decides he needs to do something with his life. This prompts many attempts to find a long-term career. It is not until a conversation with friends that he realizes his passion is in teaching. However, Red has spent Eric's college money on his muffler shop, but the guidance counselor at Eric's former high school offers him the choice of a fully paid education if he first spends a year teaching in Africa. Eric accepts, much to his mother and Donna's dismay. After a few weeks of preparation and receiving the cold treatment from Kitty and Donna, Eric packs his bags and prepares to leave. With the blessing from Red and forgiveness from his mother and Donna, he drives off with the Vista Cruiser to a hearty farewell. Eric's family includes his doting mother, Kitty Forman, who has impending separation anxiety and menopause, his crabby father, Red Forman, who is a strict Korean War military veteran, and his older sister, Laurie Forman, who is a promiscuous blonde who uses her looks to get what she wants. Eric's best friend, Steven Hyde, who was essentially abandoned by his parents, later becomes his foster brother. Eric was the show's protagonist from seasons one through seven until he was written out due to Grace's departure from the series. However, despite Eric's absence, he is mentioned at least once in all 22 episodes of season eight. He makes a brief cameo appearance in the final episode titled "That '70s Finale." Due to Eric's departure from the show at the beginning of its eighth season, Eric was no longer the central focus of the show, though his character was still heavily used to influence elements of it, and he's mentioned in every episode of the season. Picking up a month after the seventh season's finale, Eric is revealed to have successfully become accustomed to his job teaching in Africa. As Donna's relationship with a new character Randy begins to intensify, it becomes apparent that Eric has broken up with her yet again. Eric returns home on New Year's Eve to reconcile with Donna, welcome the new year in with his friends and continue his teaching career. 

A nice guy at heart, Eric is a stereotypical nerd/geek, scrawny and somewhat clumsy. He is not at all athletic and shows little interest in sports. He is a smart-aleck teenager with a lightning-fast wit and a sarcastic and deadpan sense of humor. He also lights "incense" with his friends in his basement. Eric is also known to screw things up a lot, which is parodied throughout the series. Eric is often picked on for his slight stature and other characters have likened him to "Opie" (for the character Opie Taylor, from The Andy Griffith Show), and Archie Andrews. Other unfortunate nicknames include "Foreplay" (by Casey Kelso), "Foreskin" (by Donna), "Zitty Stardust" (in reference to him being unable to take a zit-free yearbook photo), "Scrawny Little Neighbor Boy" (by Hyde), and "Dumbass" (by Red). His girlfriend Donna is physically stronger, smarter and larger than he is, a fact which is cause for many jokes by all who know them. Donna is seen beating everyone individually on more than one occasion. Though physically weak, Eric can show a surprising amount of courage and even physical power when necessary. When incensed enough, he will stand up to anyone, including his father and during these moments he can be surprisingly eloquent. He stood up to Red when he was troubled about Kitty's apparent pregnancy and told him to be a man for her. He also stands up to both of his parents in his insistence on marrying Donna, despite their repeated attempts to stop him. He threatens Casey Kelso with serious injury if he hurt Donna and even defended his father by punching another teenager (David Milbank) who had informed him that Red will eventually lose his job at the auto parts plant. He also beat a Green Bay Packers fan up during a game, after the fan (along with Red) repeatedly insult Eric for wearing a Chicago Bears jersey; however, Eric turns to violence only when the fan insults Red for telling him to stop arguing once the game was over, as Red only saw the argument as being appropriate banter between opposing fans during the game. This made Red proud enough to remark that his son had the "Forman Rage." Eric's best friend is rebel Steven Hyde. When Hyde's mother leaves town at the end of the first season, Eric tries to persuade his parents to do something about his best friend's living conditions and thus Hyde is invited to live with the Formans, which he does for most of the series. When Red is quick to throw Hyde out after an arrest for drug possession, Eric attempts to help him by proving Red's hypocrisy. Of his group of friends, Eric seemed to dislike Jackie the most in the beginning, though as the series progresses, they develop a friendship. Throughout, the two have a clear "frenemy" relationship. They demonstrate their annoyance with each other, but show compassion for each other many times, and through it all, are close. At the series' beginning, Jackie admits to trusting and liking Eric, confiding in him that she might be pregnant. In "The Pill," for example, she says to Eric's surprise, "Look, I've always been able to trust you—and, god, you are such a nice guy." Later in the episode, once Kelso threatens to break up with Jackie, Eric yells at him, having developed protective feelings towards her. This proves that their burning of each other throughout the show is only for laughs and friendly bickering, as none of their hostility is ever serious. Eric is consistent in ignoring Jackie as an object of sexual desire, but this changes in "What Is and What Should Never Be" where Hyde helps Eric realize that Jackie is "hot." After this, Eric has shown to have a sexual attraction to her, as shown in many episodes. Jackie is, at times, demeaning towards Eric due to his effeminate qualities, dorkiness and physical weakness. They have been known to occasionally help each other out. In the episode "Jackie's Cheese Squeeze," Eric admits that they are "friends," as long as they don't refer to each other as such in public, and in the season seven finale, Jackie calls Eric from Chicago and admits that she's always cared for him, and that he was always very special to her. Eric is a well-known fan of science fiction, such as Star Trek and especially Star Wars, in which he compares himself to Luke Skywalker. He is also known to have a large, beloved collection of G.I. Joe. He listens to artists such as Led Zeppelin, KISS, Aerosmith, Pink Floyd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Deep Purple, Queen, Styx and Rush. He is also a Beatles fan and has been known to liken his group of friends to them, accusing Jackie of "breaking up the band" with her romantic entanglements with Kelso and Hyde (calling her Yoko, in reference to Yoko Ono). It is also hinted that he is both a Batman and Spider-Man fan, having Spider-Man bed sheets and a considerable number of comic books, most of them bearing the Marvel Comics logo with the titular character on the covers. When he fights a fan at the Packers game, he tells Red that he learned his moves from Spider-Man; coincidentally, Topher Grace starred as Eddie Brock, a character who obtains powers very similar to Spider-Man, thus transforming him into the monstrous Venom in Spider-Man 3 in 2007. Eric has had many typical teenage jobs over the series. He has worked at Fatso Burger, PriceMart, a dog food factory and as a waiter at the Holiday Hotel. In the beginning of the series, Red vehemently opposes Eric's attempts to get a job during the second season citing that it would interfere with his schoolwork and make it harder for him to get into a good college located far away. Kitty supports Red by saying Eric's job is being her "precious little baby boy." When Eric announces his marriage proposal to Red and Kitty, Red fires him from his job at PriceMart so he couldn't make the money to get married. Kitty costs him a potential job at a bank for the same reason. Red and Kitty even go so far as to revoke their offer to pay for Eric's college tuition in a final act of desperation to put a stop to the wedding but are unsuccessful. In season seven, Eric is ridiculed by his father when he takes a year off from school and work to contemplate his future and enjoy being lazy. Eric takes pleasure in the contempt Red has for this decision. Eric is usually very supportive of his friends, even though it is very rarely reciprocated. On several occasions, when the group find themselves in a predicament as the result of a prank gone awry or some other unforeseen circumstance, the rest of the group would take off, leaving Eric to absorb the brunt of the trouble, after which the group (mainly Hyde) would hassle and tease Eric for getting into trouble (as in "Stolen Car," "Eric Gets Suspended," "Eric's Hot Cousin" and "Rip This Joint"). This has much to do with Eric's trusting nature and indicates that what he lacks in physical strength and courage, he more than makes up for in strength of character. Eric however, has been known to get his revenge on his backstabbing friends from time to time, such as when Kelso took the group on a "dine-and-dash" without telling them and the group eventually abandoning Donna and Eric at the restaurant. Eric and Donna get their revenge by serving a batch of brownies which they referred to as "special" brownies. However, in this case, the "special" ingredient that Eric and Donna include is a chocolate-flavored laxative. This was a particular problem for Fez, whose girlfriend had arrived to make amends with him, just as he was running for the bathroom. At times, however, Eric's friends will come to his aid when he's truly at the end of his rope. However, Eric is also quick to stand up for himself whenever he feels he has been wronged by his friends' actions. Eric is also quite stubborn, which has on several occasions brings bad luck to himself. For example, when Donna calls from California and when Kitty tries to tell him, Eric refuses to even listen to his mother and (when he finds out the call) later scolds her for not telling him. Also, when Hyde is about to get kicked out of the Forman's house for his drug use, Eric tells Red that he also does drugs (despite Donna telling him not to), only to find out that Hyde is allowed to stay. Another prime example is during his first break-up with Donna: he refuses to see the signs that she is hesitant to say they will always be together, even when Hyde tries to explain it to him, and when faced with the truth chooses to end the relationship rather than accept Donna is not ready. (However, he would later on acknowledge it was unfair for him to pressure Donna.)

Eric's relationship with his parents is characterized by his attempts to prove to them that he is mature and independent. Eric's father, Red, is a notorious authoritarian and often refers to Eric as "dumbass" and "boy". He frequently threatens "to put his foot in Eric's ass". Red finds Eric lacking the qualities which he feels a grown man should possess, including physical strength, sportsmanship, and interest in manly pursuits, like hunting and fishing. Despite the fact that Red's strict parenting often prevents intimate father-son moments, Red truly cares for his son. On rare occasions, Red displays genuine fatherly love such as in "That Wresting Show" and "Street Fighting Man", as well as when he learns that Eric is a good hunter and chose not to shoot a deer because he didn't want to. Oddly, Eric is, in many ways, a younger version of his father. Both display a dry sense of humor and tend to be the sanest people in their circle of friends. Eric's mother, Kitty, typically supports Eric against the wishes of her husband and she often scolds Red for being too hard on him. However, she also does not consider Eric to be a man and often refers to him as her "precious little baby boy." Eric appreciates his mom's support but her overblown displays of affection often leave him feeling embarrassed. At times, Kitty's love for Eric borders on Hitchcockian. His mother is often insecure about being replaced by Donna as the woman in Eric's life. Their rivalry is played up in many episodes (often comically, but sometimes to the point of it being problematic). In theory, she's okay with a sexual relationship between Donna and Eric (even pressing the two to discuss it with her); however, in reality, she goes into a depression after learning that Eric and Donna had sex and considers Donna a harlot who has stolen her baby boy away from her. Eric reassured Kitty that he would always need her because, "[Red]'s going to be riding [his] ass for the rest of [his] life". When Eric tells his parents about his plan to spend a year teaching in Africa, his mother is less than thrilled. This is most notably and comically presented when, the morning after his announcement, Kitty fixes everyone at the breakfast table a smiley-face breakfast with eggs and bacon and then hands Eric a plain pancake and says, "nothing smiling up at you, nothing". Even with a couple of days before his departure, Kitty reveals that she hid mailed notifications that Eric must receive certain vaccinations before he can leave. Eric protests his mom's actions but she still tries to dissuade him, stating that the needles used for the vaccinations are "as big as sausages" and "will hurt a lot." In the episode "Eric's Birthday," the gang is acutely aware that Kitty has planned a surprise party for Eric, despite her claims to the contrary. This annoys Eric because he believes that surprise parties are for kids, which indicates that Kitty won't accept the fact that he is becoming a man. However, throughout the episode "Magic Bus," Eric expects Kitty to throw him a surprise party even though she and the gang constantly tell him that there is no surprise party. He becomes upset when he realizes that his mother is telling the truth. After Eric disobeys his parents' orders not to go forward with his plans to marry Donna, Red finally deems Eric a man and offers his blessing while a devastated Kitty turns on Red for allowing her "precious baby boy" to get married. Though Eric and Donna call off the wedding, they decide to move, which causes Kitty even more grief. She's even less pleased when she learns that Red is fine with it. Eric's relationship with his older sister, Laurie, is based on mutual ridicule and contempt. Eric repeatedly mocks Laurie for being a whore while she chides him for being weak and less favored by their father. On several occasions, Eric and Laurie have tolerated each other and have even shown a brother-sister bond. When Eric saw his parents having sex, Laurie tried to comfort him, which included hugging him and stroking his hand. In the middle of a fight between the two, Hyde tried to break it up, and the two teamed up on him, complimenting each other's insults. Eric once even defended Laurie from Red. After discovering that Laurie moved out and was living with a man, Red, having been forced to face reality about his daughter's behavior and reputation, attempted to alienate her. Sympathizing with her, Eric attempted to defend Laurie, saying that Red was being too hard on her. Laurie once told Eric and Donna to move away after they got married and even cried during her apology. Eric tasted the tear and, having deemed it legitimate, replied "I have a sister!" and hugged her. Laurie appeared to have turned a new leaf but soon regressed to her old habits of mean-spirited and lascivious behavior.

Donna Marie Pinciotti is a main character on FOX comedy That '70s Show. She is portrayed by Laura Prepon. Donna was born on February 13, 1960 to Bob Pinciotti and Midge Pinciotti. Donna is an intelligent, witty, red-haired (she later changed to blonde after her marriage to Eric was called off), tall (5'10), rather strong, athletic teenager with feminist ideals, who is outwardly confident and strong, sometimes to the point of coming across as arrogant or self-righteous, though usually laid back and easy going. She calls upon these personal qualities to deal with her personal issues, such as the shaky relationship between her father and mother, Midge & Bob Pinciotti, who had her when they were still in high school. However, she has some difficulty expressing her feminine side, for fear that displaying traditional feminine traits will serve as a betrayal of her feminism. She dons skirts and dresses for special occasions, but mostly wears jeans and pants in her day to day life. Donna has grown up one of the guys, hanging out with Kelso, Eric and Hyde since she was very young. She comes across as laid back, but is not afraid to give out to the guys when they are being idiots or sexist. She enjoys hanging out with the guys, but has outside interests such as writing poetry and short stories, and dreams of living in New York as a writer or a DJ one day. These dreams often clash with Eric's conservative views of what marriage is and what kind of future he wants for him and Donna, which is why they break up at one point. Hyde understands this, while Eric at first refuses to acknowledge their differences. Donna's job as a radio DJ, to Eric, takes priority over their relationship, as Donna blows off their dates. While Donna genuinely feels she is right to do this, as she is following her dreams of becoming a music journalist, her actions provoke a bad response in the normally even-keeled Eric, who feels Donna is not taking him and their relationship seriously. Eric breaks up with Donna when she returns his promise ring and much awkwardness ensued over rights to the basement and trying to get along while exploring new romances. Donna is bemused at just how many girls are interested in Eric and happily mocks his attempts at finding a new girlfriend, although when some of them work, she does not take it quite as well and later confesses it hurt her when Eric started dating.Her mother Midge leaving her father and moving to California, followed by her father's relationship with Joanne Stupac, does not help matters. Donna starts dating Casey Kelso, Kelso's older brother. Though flaky and rather older than her, Donna considers Casey a real winner of a boyfriend, seeming to her good natured, laid back, and easy going. Donna feels she is hit the jackpot with Casey and everyone else agrees – except Eric, who sees Casey for what he is: an oversexed frat boy who just wants to date Donna until he is bored. Eric tries to warn Donna but she ignores him. When Kitty and Eric witness Donna drunk in the middle of a school day at the Hub with Casey, Kitty rallies Red and Bob to bring an end to relationship with Eric awkwardly overseeing the proceedings while Hyde, Kelso, Jackie and Fez listen from the kitchen. Donna is more than ready and willing to fight for Casey, who she thinks loves her, but Casey is not ready or willing to fight for her and he readily agrees to break up with her when Red puts the pressure on. Casey lazily says that Donna is a great girl and fun to hang out with, but he stated the relationship has gotten to be too much of a hassle. The realizations of her own over-confidence, poor judgement and being dumped in front of the people who means the most to her come as quite a shock to Donna, who regards herself as an ideal feminist, but who had fallen for the exact kind of jerk she always swore she had never look twice at. Hurt, humiliated and heartbroken, Donna turns to the one person she thinks still truly cares for her - old boyfriend Eric Forman. Eric offers his sympathy, but when a shaken up, crying Donna tells him she wants to be his girlfriend again, Eric refuses believing that she did not really want him for who he is but simply wanted a way to feel better about herself and would most likely dump him when someone better came along. A tearful Donna pleaded with him to take her back but he refused to be her "second choice". Was he just a rebound? Unable to handle being rejected by her first love, an emotionally-wrecked Donna fled Point Place for California, where she crashed with her mother and tried to sort out her feelings. She decided she truly did love Eric and tried to call him but could not get hold of him; she suspected he no longer wanted her and moved on to another girlfriend and became rather depressed. But then, to her delight, Eric showed up in California looking for her, and the two reunited and returned to Point Place. Shortly after their return, Bob punishes Donna's disappearance without a word by transferring her to Catholic school for her senior year, which Donna despised, to put some distance between her and Eric. This only furthers the Romeo & Juliet aspect of Eric going to California for Donna, in their relationship and Eric ignores the objections of their friends and proposes to Donna at the Water Tower and she accepts. Once Red and Kitty find out about the engagement, they are shocked, Kitty in particular, who claims that Donna is trying to snatch her "baby" away from her. Despite enduring a great deal of flack from Red (far more than usual) Red eventually accepts his son had become a man and gave them his blessing. Donna and Eric prepare to leave Point Place after graduation to attend college in Madison. However, just as they were packing their stuff in the Vista Cruiser, Fez and Laurie announced their marriage. Red was so shocked he had a heart attack, and as a result Eric had to stay in Point Place and help support the family. Donna also gave up going to college in Madison so that she could stay with Eric. Eventually though, their wedding fell through at the end of season 6 when Eric, worried that marrying Donna would eventually leave him because this is not the life she wanted, did not to show up for their rehearsal.When Eric leaves for Africa, Eric and Donna are still together. However, Donna tells her friends that Eric had broken up with her, when Fez and Jackie suspect that she is cheating on Eric with the new guy, Randy. Donna tells them that Eric broke up with her three weeks earlier. There were hints leading up to the breakup when Eric called Kitty but not Donna, even though she was awake at 4AM waiting for him to call her. Also, when Donna was at the Formans' for Red & Kitty's 25th anniversary, Eric called his parents and Kitty gave the phone to Donna, but Eric spoke to her only briefly before bailing out, claiming he had to "go teach". Eric and her shared a kiss after he returned to Point Place for New Years Eve. Before this, she dated Randy after the break up with Eric, and then realized her relationship with Randy would interfere with her plans of seeing the world, and a possibility that she was still in love with Eric so she broke it off. Eric and Donna two got back together and get married in the future. Donna is last seen running upstairs to the living room in an effort not to call Red a "Dumbass". Hyde and Donna are in many ways a great match, which is displayed in their close friendship throughout the series – Donna talks to Hyde when her parents have problems, and leans on Hyde when Eric ditches her before their wedding. Hyde feels they would make a great romantic match as well, but Donna chooses Eric, which is later argued to be the right choice in Eric's subconscious by his guardian angel (which could be construed as the show shutting down any notion of Hyde and Donna for good). Hyde is very sweet in his pursuit of Donna at first, even having Kitty teach him how to dance so he can dance with Donna. Later, while Donna shows obvious interest in Eric, she also makes her disinterest in Hyde's blatant advances clear. Hyde and Donna are very similar: Both do not display vulnerable emotions often, although their good hearts often betray their sentiments, they are laid back, very intelligent and very direct and honest with their friends. The major difference, however, is that Donna comes from a stable, loving home, while Steven does not and even so, Donna needs the stability of Eric's parents when hers act immaturely and neglect to provide Donna with a 'normal' home life.  Eric and Donna have been next door neighbors ever since they were children.  When Donna first moved in and first met Eric, she punched him in the stomach for looking at her funny. It was at that moment that Eric fell madly in love with Donna. They later became the best of friends and hung out with each other all the time. Eric's love for Donna continued on and on, but he didn't admit his love for her until they were 16 in 1976, when Eric Forman takes his car out of town when explicitly told not to, and impresses Donna who decides to give him their first kiss. They don't start going out immediately, but take their relationship slowly, unsure how to show their interest in each other and getting advice from their friends on how to act now that their relationship has changed. When the gang goes to a disco, Eric doesn't dance with Donna, but later admits that he hates disco and went because he likes her, which is the first time he tells Donna how he feels about her. They go on to discover many firsts together, like making out at the drive-in and what it means to be exclusive as teenagers, when Eric kisses another girl.Meanwhile, Hyde is still competing for Donna's affections and they both give her Christmas gifts, while Donna in turn, give both the guys Christmas gifts, although she signals her interest in Eric by giving him the watch he wears for the remainder of the show, while she gives Hyde socks. They go on their first date on Valentine's Day and during the date, Donna unexpectedly becomes intoxicated, which only makes the experience more uncomfortable than it should have been, for Eric especially, as he wanted to give her his class ring. Despite Hyde showing up and professing his feelings for Donna one last time, Donna chooses Eric. Their relationship becomes very public when Bob accidentally finds out that Midge put Donna on the pill, then Kitty and Red find out, although Eric and Donna aren't sleeping together. They go to the prom together and consider sleeping together for the first time, but feel that the timing is off. Eric at times gets insecure about how the world views their relationship, as he himself has trouble seeing his own worth and value. This comes to the fore when a guy Eric hates hits on Donna, and when they go to a disco but only Donna is let in at first and Eric is the last to be let in. Eric is also continually insecure about Donna falling for Hyde, noticeably when Donna's parents start fighting and she suffers from it, confiding in Hyde instead of Eric.Eric and Donna's relationship gradually grows and Donna confesses to Eric that she loves him, only for him to respond that he loves cake. Eric gets his act together after many attempts and tells Donna that he loves her as well. After Donna's parents renew their vows, Donna expresses to Eric that he was the inspiration for her vows and they have sex for the first time. Eric believing he has brought Donna much disappointment by, "Being lame in the sack", is reassured by Donna that sex can only get better from their first time. Their relationship appears to only have become stronger, yet it gradually starts falling apart, when Donna becomes more serious about her work as a DJ at WFPP, which irritates Eric as Donna is very content focusing on her job. Eric feels that she isn't taking their relationship or him seriously, as she would blow off dates to work. Donna tries to make Eric see how important her job is to her, and that, regardless of all the rock stars she may encounter, she is mad at him for not trusting that she is faithful to him. A lot of their strain in this time stems from Eric's continued insecurity that he's never going to be 'good enough' for Donna or who she really wants to be with later in life. This was already evident when David Milbank hit on Donna and she berated Eric for not trusting her. Eric tries to hold on by giving her a promise ring and Donna returns it to him saying she can't make those kinds of promises, which breaks Eric's heart and he ends their relationship, breaking Donna's heart. Eric and Donna stay separated, but manage to figure out a way to stay friends. This is shown when Eric goes to pick up Donna to go to the prom, but stays with her while there are tornado warnings in their town. Donna develops a romantic interest in Casey Kelso (Kelso's older brother), which everyone but Eric (and later Michael) seems to approve of. When Casey and Donna break up, Donna runs to Eric to be consoled only for Eric to tell her he wasn't going to be a rebound for her. Distraught, Donna chooses to run away to California with Michael (who on the other hand is running away from Jackie). Eric realizes how much of a mistake he made after talking with his parents and leaves to find Donna, deciding to lay on her bed until she returns, only to find out later she ran away to California with Kelso. Eric goes to California at the end of summer to tell Donna how much he loves her and that he wants to be with her and they reconcile. Eric decided that he wanted something big for him and Donna and he decided to propose to her on the Water Tower. Their engagement was disapproved by many especially Eric's father Red, who felt Eric wasn't being wise. Eric took Red's cruel punishment and received his blessing for doing so. Eric and Donna decided to move to Madison to start their life together and want to do so but are held back after Red suffers a heart attack. Donna is still moving away to college, but stays until the last bus to spend Eric's 18th birthday with him. But she proves that she can't leave him because it is too much of an adjustment to her life. Donna and Eric go through premarital counseling because of their pregnancy scare and this is where they decide to stop having sex until they are married. Eric and Donna go through all the premarital events like wedding shopping and even Eric destroying Donna's wedding dress. As the day approaches, Eric begins to have second thoughts after a dream he has. When it was time for the wedding rehearsal, Eric was a no show only to leave Donna in anger. He comes back to explain his cold feet and Donna explains her cold feet as well.Donna and Eric remain together even after their called off wedding. In the end of Season 7, Eric moves to Africa to teach kids in order to pursue his dream of helping people. Jackie appoints herself as Donna's best friend early on, often giving her advice that sounds superficial and useless but often turns out to be unnervingly true (example: Eric would never want Donna to be his girlfriend if she kept beating him at everything, especially sports). The haughty Jackie genuinely thinks that she is better looking than Donna and that Donna is in general not attractive, interesting or popular--yet still thinks Donna could do better than Eric. Though they are as different as night and day, Donna eventually accepts Jackie and decides to keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble, since Jackie does not always show the best common sense, but eventually around early season two the two become best friends.

Donna's relationship with next-door neighbor Eric Forman is often the main focus of the series. However, it is tumultuous at times, having suffered two break-ups during the show's run. Despite this, Eric and Donna often act as the "parents" of the group, being mature and responsible when their friends are not, for example in episodes like "Dine and Dash". Another episode that illustrates their parenthood of the group is when they have just broken up and Eric takes them all out and returns late. He and Donna engage in an argument because Eric gives Fez ice cream and Donna is angry because he wouldn't be hungry for dinner. When Fez is going to be deported, she and Eric become upset because "their" Fez is leaving. Eric is sometimes threatened by his feeling inferior to her, especially during the third season, when she gets a job as a disc jockey. Donna and Eric lose their virginity to each other in the beginning of season two, after many failed attempts. Their sexual activity is revealed in a very humiliating manner, when a policeman catches them having sex in the back of Eric's car and takes them back to his parents home, where Red forces Donna to tell her parents or else he would tell them. In the beginning of the series, Hyde is also interested in Donna along with Eric. Donna makes her choice clear, however, when she blows off her "study date" with Hyde to hang out with Eric. Even after the relationship between Eric and Donna is established, for a short time Donna usually goes to Hyde when she feels unsure about her relationship and needs to talk about it. In such circumstances, Hyde usually refers to her as the "hot neighbor girl" and Eric as the "scrawny little neighbor boy", or some variation of these. Though a romantic relationship between Donna and Hyde is never established, Hyde initially likes Donna and would have been interested in her if Eric had not kissed her first (as stated in the episode "It's a Wonderful Life"). Hyde still tries to win Donna in the beginning when she and Eric aren't together. There are even some comments by Fez during that season that mock Hyde over these failed attempts. When the group goes to Jackie's father's cabin for a ski trip, Hyde decides to kiss Donna and is slapped for his efforts, ending his infatuation but not their close friendship. Hyde never shows any significant interest in Donna again. Toward the end of season three, Donna's job as a disc jockey is taking priority over her relationship with Eric, causing her to cancel their dates. While Donna genuinely feels that she is right to do this and is simply following her goals through to their logical conclusion with wanting to be a writer and a newswoman, her actions provoke a bad response in the normally even-keeled Eric, who feels that Donna is not taking him and/or their relationship seriously. Unable to resolve the conflict, Eric breaks up with her in the third season finale "The Promise Ring". Throughout season four, much awkwardness ensues over rights to the basement and trying to find new relationships. Donna is a bit annoyed at just how many girls are interested in Eric and happily mocks him when his attempts at finding a new girlfriend backfires. When she finds out he dated another while they were apart (he kept it a secret), she is absolutely furious, believing he cheated on her. During the fourth season, Donna begins dating Casey Kelso (Luke Wilson), Michael Kelso's older brother. Even though he is flaky, a few years older than she is and against Donna's feminist beliefs, Donna thinks Casey is the perfect boyfriend, since he seems to be sensitive, good-natured, laid-back and easy-going. Eric sees Casey for what he is: an oversexed frat boy who just wants to sleep with Donna and move on to the next girl. Eric tries to warn Donna but she ignores him and he then threatens to hurt Casey if he hurts Donna. Donna ends up skipping school to get drunk with Casey. When Eric and Kitty witness this, they (along with Red and Bob) decide to intervene. In an animated discussion in the Formans' living room, Casey dumps Donna, deciding that his relationship with her is not worth the hassle, and admitting that he never loved her. The realization of her own overconfidence, poor judgment and being dumped in front of the people who meant the most to her come as a shock to Donna, who regards herself as an ideal feminist, since she had fallen for the type of man she always swore she would never be with. Hurt, humiliated and heartbroken, Donna turns to Eric, who offers his sympathy. When a shaken-up, crying Donna tells him she wants to be with him again, he refuses, believing that she does not really want him for who he is, but simply wants a way to feel better about herself and would most likely dump him when someone better came along. A tearful Donna pleads with him to take her back but he refuses to be her "second choice". Eric is unwavering in his decision, until his father and mother point out to him that he is being an idiot. Even Kitty, who normally dotes on him, calls him a "dumb ass". Unable to handle being rejected by her first love, an emotionally wrecked Donna flees Point Place for California, where she lives with her mother and tries to sort out her feelings. She decides she truly does love Eric and tries to call him but can't get hold of him; she suspects he no longer wants her and has moved on to another girl, leaving her rather depressed. But then, to her delight, Eric shows up in California looking for her, and the two very romantically reunite and return to Point Place. When Donna comes home from California, the normally easy-going Bob sends her to a Catholic school as punishment, an act that Donna deeply resents and hates for the remainder of the school year. This occasion also gave the writers/creators an opportunity to change Donna's common "lumberjack" attire as she now wore, for a few episodes, the school's uniform consisting of a plaid skirt, a white shirt and long white knee-high socks. Her new looks also provide openings for jokes from the boys about Donna's sexiness, which underlies their views of her throughout the series, no matter what type of attire she is wearing. In season five, Eric ignores the objections of their friends and proposes to her at the water tower, which Donna accepts. Once Red and Kitty find out about the engagement, they are shocked. Kitty in particular, reacts badly, claiming that Donna is trying to snatch her "baby" away from her. Despite enduring a great deal of flak (mostly from Red), Eric stays loyal to Donna and their marriage plans. Because of this, Red accepts that his son has become a man and gives them his blessing. Donna and Eric prepare to leave Point Place together and go to college in Madison. However, just as they are packing their stuff in the Vista Cruiser, Fez and Laurie announce their marriage so Fez can stay in the country after graduation. Red is so shocked at this, he has a heart attack. As a result, Eric decides to stay in Point Place and help support the family. Donna ends up putting off going to college in Madison so that she can stay with Eric. Eventually, their wedding plans fall through at the end of season six when Eric, worried that marrying Donna would hold her back, fails to show up for their rehearsal. After Eric's departure from the show between seasons seven and eight, it is assumed that they still keep the relationship intact. However, Donna tells her friends that Eric has broken up with her in the eighth-season episode "Long Away", when Fez and Jackie suspect that she is cheating on Eric with the new cast character, Randy (Josh Meyers). Donna tells them that Eric did this three weeks earlier. There were hints leading up to the breakup when Eric calls Kitty but not Donna, even though she is awake at 4AM waiting for him to call her. Also, when Donna is at the Foremans' for Red and Kitty's 25th anniversary, Eric calls his parents and Kitty gives the phone to Donna, but Eric speaks to her only briefly before hanging up, claiming he has to "go to class".Donna then begins dating Randy, seemingly without regard for her long-standing relationship with Eric. However, she ends the relationship when she realizes that things with Randy are moving too fast, and that she is using him as a substitute for Eric. This is further evidenced when Kitty catches Randy and Donna kissing in Eric's bedroom, and she accuses Donna of replacing Eric with Randy, departing from her usual rivalry with Donna over being the main woman in Eric's life.In the final episode, Eric returns to Point Place for the New Year and he and Donna kiss. They end up getting back together again at the end of the series and the end of the 1970s. Donna resides in the fictional Wisconsin town of Point Place, where she lives with her parents, Midge and Bob Pinciotti. Early in the series, her younger sister, 14-year-old Tina (played by Amanda Fuller), appears in the episode "Eric's Burger Job"[1] but is never seen again, nor do other characters mention her after the first season. At the end of the season 2 episode "Vanstock", this is made fun of when a narrator asks "Whatever happened to Midge's other daughter, Tina?" Donna also has an older sister, Valerie Pinciotti ("Eric's Birthday"). She is apparently in college as revealed by Midge. As Eric is turning 17, Midge shows Kitty a book of poems that helped her "when Valerie went off to school". These are examples of "Chuck Cunningham Syndrome" (see Happy Days). An intelligent, witty teenager with feminist ideals, Donna is outwardly confident and strong, at times to the point of coming across as arrogant, self-righteous, and overconfident. She calls upon these personal qualities to deal with her personal issues, such as her parents' shaky relationship and the revelation that they conceived her while in high school. She believes that she's had it the hardest out of the group until Hyde is revealed to have faced most of these problems and not once complained. The characteristics and physical appearance of Donna Pinciotti were actually based on a girl who grew up in the same neighborhood as Mark Brazil in Dunkirk, NY. Donna actually dated Hyde and never was with Eric, AKA Mark Brazil. Though despite her overly confident attitude, she herself has her own insecurities such as her big feet, her parents' screwed up marriage and her trust in her relationship with Eric. A prime example of this is in the episode "Eric's Panties". Eric has an attractive girl as his lab partner who has a reputation of being a slut. At first, Donna doesn't really care but she finds panties in his car and genuinely believes that Eric cheated on her. She shows a completely insecure side of herself and is more than prepared to hurt him. They are later revealed to be Midge's panties from when she and Bob had sex in Eric's car. She has some difficulty expressing her feminine side, because she views traditional feminine traits as restraining and outdated. She dislikes skirts, makeup, and dresses, and insists on wearing jeans at all times, but she will dress nice for special occasions and tried "being pretty" for her prom and for a trip to a nightclub, where the bouncer judged her "foxy". As another exception, after her wedding with Eric was called off, she decides to change her looks and dyes her hair blonde. Jackie Burkhart repeatedly calls Donna a "lumberjack" and a "giant", due to her penchant for plaid shirts and her tall stature. She even described Donna by saying "She's nice and all, but she kinda dresses like a trucker". She also teases Donna for her gargantuan feet, calling her "bigfoot" and saying things like Donna's shoes are big enough for Jackie to fit her own shoes into. Nonetheless, Donna still considers herself feminine, at times becoming insulted when people overlook it. When Kitty Forman needed two people with a "feminine touch" to decorate for Hyde's birthday party, she chose Jackie and Fez. An angry Donna wanted to "kick her ass" for that, insisting "What the hell? I'm feminine! Damn it, why can't anybody freakin' see that?!" This suggests that while Donna takes pride in her feminist beliefs, she still considers herself feminine, and simply doesn't want to restrict herself to "girly" activities. In several episodes, she is flattered at being perceived as an object of desire, especially when she becomes "Hot Donna" at a radio station. Jackie appoints herself as Donna's best friend in the early seasons, often giving her advice that sounds superficial and useless, but often turns out to be unnervingly true. For example, in the "Battle of the Sexists" episode, Jackie states to Donna that, "Eric would never want her (Donna) to be his girlfriend if she kept beating him at everything, especially sports". Jackie genuinely thinks that she's better looking than Donna, ever since their first meeting in junior high and that Donna is generally not attractive or interesting, yet still thinks Donna could do better than Eric. When angry or annoyed at Donna, Jackie will often refer to her as a "giant" or "Amazon"; when Donna goes blonde, she calls her "blonde tardo". Despite their differences, Donna eventually accepts Jackie and decides to keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble, since Jackie doesn't always show the best common sense, and on more than one occasion, Donna has ridiculed Jackie for her stupidity and small stature, calling her a "midget" or "mosquito". All five of the boys have harbored sexual feelings toward Donna. In addition to Eric, three of the others attempted to sleep with her (Kelso attempts to seduce her after going to roller disco, Hyde at Jackie's ski cabin and Fez impersonating Eric in a Storm Trooper outfit; none of these attempts are successful) and four have romantic interest in her (Eric, Hyde, Casey and Randy). Despite many of the guys' obvious attraction to her, she only dated two of the main characters, with Jackie having the most boyfriends within the main cast. Donna is with Eric for six seasons, and she is hoping they could have been together, but as she says herself: "It was all Eric's fault for taking that stupid job."

Jacqueline Beulah “Jackie” Burkhart is a main character on the FOX comedy That '70s Show. She is portrayed by Mila Kunis. Jackie was born September 24, 1960 to Jack Burkhart and Pamela Burkhart. Jackie is the self-absorbed, snobby, rich girl and girlfriend of Kelso, Hyde, and then Fez. She is introduced in the pilot episode primarily as Michael Kelso's girlfriend. She likes to give advice which often sounds typically thoughtless and superficial, but turns out to be occasionally correct. She is rich, spoiled, conceited, and irritating, and is never really invited into the circle of friends--but believes she has a VIP pass into the group because she is dating Kelso, who is a member. Despite these characteristics, Jackie is popular at school, and has been voted Most Popular and Best Legs, and was the runner-up Snow Queen. She is also something of a Chatterbox, rambling on about things that no one has any interest in. She often is shown thwarting the affinity with others in the group due to her self-absorbed persona. While she can be very manipulating, she is shown to have her serious moments and be very kind. Jackie is also known to be very insecure about herself as when she dated Hyde, every time he made a comment about another lady she immediately became insecure about herself and demanded him to call that lady ugly. She is also insecure about having stuffed animals which later Laurie later teases her about.After her breakup with Kelso in Season 2, Jackie keeps hanging out in Eric's basement, a sign that her status has grown. These gradual changes make her character develop a defined character arc. However, she still heavily keeps part of her valley girl persona intact and she still looks at herself as the personification of what a woman should be. Even though by the last episode she has only kissed four people on-screen, she is made to sound like a slut. In the last circle Fez tells Eric, "I have kissed Jacqueline Burkhart" to which Hyde replies, "So has everybody else", although he may just have been referring to those in the circle, even though Eric has not kissed her at all during the show run. Also in another episode Donna mentions she got a job by "tying her shirt up in one of those sexy knots", to which Hyde mentions, "Jackie does that. We never pay to get into Six Flags!" She also like to dress in revealing clothes to show off her figure. During the first season, Jackie is in her sophomore year of high school, making her approximately 15 years old. She appoints herself Donna Pinciotti's best friend. Due to her extreme haughtiness, Jackie believes Donna is unattractive compared to herself, and also kinda boring - but as she states in numerous episodes, she believes Donna could do much better than Eric (though in the Season 7 finale, Jackie reveals that she has always cared for Eric as a friend, as Jackie calls to talk to Eric specifically for the first time ever). Despite their extremely different personalities, Donna decides to play big sister to Jackie and often tries to look out for her when she feels Jackie is making a mistake, more often than not due to her lack of common sense. Sometimes Jackie is the voice of reason for Donna, as evidenced in the Season 2 episode Kiss Of Death, the same episode in which Jackie realized that Kelso was cheating on her. After her father was sent to prison in the middle of Season 5, she moved in with Donna and the two became best friends. Jackie has mostly an acquaintanceship with Eric, though she has teased a close friendship several times. Eric is the only male friend out of the core four guys Jackie has not dated/kissed. She once told Eric she considered him a best friend and nice guy and he was the first person she revealed to that she was under the impression she was pregnant. She also called Eric before he left for Africa saying she was sorry she could not be there to say good-bye in person and she always thought he was a close friend. Although she is the favorite of Red's, Eric dislikes her, and makes no attempt to hide this. They became even less fond of each other when Eric blackmailed her (for kissing the cheese guy), and Eric continued to dislike her. They did have their moments, such as when Eric convinces Jackie she is right for Kelso (ironically, they break up soon after), and when he stands up to comfort her after she ends her relationship with Kelso. Jackie, according to Eric, makes fun of "us (he and Donna), fat girls, or me". During the course of the series, Jackie becomes an integral part of the "gang" and is considered a friend in her own right, as opposed to because of who she is with.Jackie also has a friendship with Red. Early on, Red remarked she was the favorite of Eric's friends (even though she is not Eric's friend) for her ability to hold a flashlight on a car. Jackie has run crying to Mr. Foreman's arms no less than three times, all of which he objected to. Red finds Jackie as annoying as everyone else, but does sometimes takes her side in arguments. However, in light of Red's doting relationship with Laurie and his tendency to side with Donna over Eric, and also how much he cares and tries keeping Kitty happy, it could be argued that he simply has a soft spot for women. In the beginning, Jackie is dating Michael Kelso, an attractive, but dim-witted, partyboy. The two lost their virginity to each other after Kelso and his friends got out of jail for riding in a car that was mistaken for being stolen. Jackie gets on Kelso's friends' nerves on a daily basis and Kelso repeatedly said that he was going to break up with her. But Jackie beat him to it and broke up with him after catching him kissing Pam Macy. However, they got back together in the very same episode. Jackie later broke up with Kelso again after a pregnancy scare, but they got back together later at the Junior Prom. The two's relationship is somewhat of a contrast to Eric and Donna's mostly steady union. The main difference between their relationships is that Jackie and Kelso's relationship was mainly based on mutual obsession and physical attraction while Eric and Donna's relationship was based on mutual differences of ideals and sexual attraction.In Season 2, Kelso began an affair with Eric's promiscuous sister, Laurie, about which Jackie eventually found out and subsequently broke up with him again. Following his subsequent breakup with Laurie, Jackie decided to test Kelso to see if they should get back together, which they did. Kelso remained loyal to Jackie after that and stayed with her throughout Season 4. However, when Kelso began to neglect Jackie as a result of his joining a modeling agency, she was caught by Eric kissing her boss Todd. Kelso eventually found out, and went to ambush Jackie's boss. However, Jackie's boss was a blackbelt and easily beat Kelso up. This event results in a period of discovery for Jackie and Kelso; Kelso realizes he cheated because Jackie always insulted him and made him feel bad about himself. For this, he felt very insecure and angry about it but could not do a thing about it because he never wished to break a woman's heart. Although, when he had said that he was going to break up with her, he had actually meant it and was going to it, but her impulsive and demanding attitude forced him to put his plans on hold. This, combined with Jackie always insulting him, caused him to cheat on her. As a result, he broke up with her because he felt he could not be with someone who made him feel like that. It did not last, as they got back together shortly after.Then in the Season 4 finale, Jackie asked Kelso to marry her, but Kelso freaked out and left for California with Donna. When he returned in the beginning of Season 5 he found out that Jackie had moved on to Hyde, which made him extremely jealous, and he spent the majority of the season trying to get her back. By the beginning of Season 6 however, Kelso had claimed to be over Jackie and was fine with just being friends with her. At the end of Season 7 however, Kelso drives Jackie to Chicago after her break-up with Hyde. He is later seen entering Jackie's hotel room in only a towel, making a comment implying he and Jackie were about to sleep together. Hyde soon shows up, however, and Kelso ran off nude. In Season 8, he considered marrying Jackie, claiming that he did still love her, before he was offered a job in Chicago, but Fez had already told her about his proposal, which made him feel he should do so, but she turned him down when he asked at Red and Kitty's anniversary, much to his own pleasure. Jackie and Steven Hyde were, from the beginning of the show, polar opposites and even enemies. While Jackie was girly, rich, and shallow, Hyde was lower in social class and a rebel in the group. They strongly disliked each other during the first seasons, but Hyde began helping Jackie after her break-up with Kelso in Season 2. This eventually led to a phase in which Jackie was infatuated with Hyde, but her feelings gradually faded and it was not until Season 5, when Kelso was in California, that their romance really began. After watching too much of The Price is Right, the two began making out. At first they did not want to admit that they were dating, but finally gave in. They dated for the most part of Season 5, but Hyde's jealousy caused him to cheat and they broke up. Jackie's relationship with Hyde caused her to be less self-absorbed, making her more likeable to the rest of the gang, and caused them to truly consider her a part of the group. At the beginning of Season 6, Kelso and Hyde were in competition to get Jackie back, because they both still loved her. She decided she needs time to think about it, and left them both hanging, but chose Hyde in the end. Their relationship went on for two more seasons, until Jackie was offered a job in Chicago. She went to Hyde and told him that she would stay if he gave her any indication they would eventually get married. Hyde did not have an answer, but when he did, she was already gone. Or so he thought. Jackie had no way out of Point Place, so in one last attempt to get an answer out of the man she said "meant everything in the world to her", she went over to the basement. Hiding his hurt and anger that she had "left" him, Hyde told her to have a good trip. But merely an episode later, Hyde had decided he was going to get her back. He hit a snag, however: during his conversation with Jackie, Kelso walked into the hotel room with a towel around his waist and a bucket of ice in his hands, making a comment that implied he and Jackie were about to have sex. Although Kelso frequently makes sexual comments to every female on the show, including Jackie and Donna, Hyde believed the two really were about to engage in sex, and drove off to Las Vegas. When he came back to Point Place, in the first episode of season 8 he discovered he had married a stripper, Samantha, which effectively ended his and Jackie's relationship. They still remained close friends, but their friendship resembled their frenemy relationship seen in the first two seasons as Hyde would often tease her and talk down on their past romance. This behaviour resembled their animosity in the first two seasons and completely disregarded the character and relationship growth these two had gone through. Throughout Season 8, Jackie remained single. Kelso proposed to her. While she admitted she loved and thought of Kelso as her soulmate, she refused. At the end of the season, Jackie realized Fez had all the qualities she was looking for in a man and they kiss in the finale. But at first when Jackie realized she loved him he said no to her because he thought it only would last for a week and then she would go to another guy. The words he said were "I don't want to be your sloppy third". And the episode after that, Andrew came from the north side of the same island as Fez and he decided to move back to his home country, so as to never have to see Jackie again. Despite this, they get together in the second to last episode of Season 8, but they did not kiss until the last episode, atop the water tower. 

Jackie is a self-centered, spoiled, vain member of a wealthy family. She is generally insensitive to the needs and feelings of others, although regarded by many as attractive and fashionable. She is one of the program's most conceited characters, and she can behave quite selfishly. She looks down upon those of lower status in her school and has been said to treat them unfairly, and on the occasions she has treated them with respect, she has not continued to do so for very long or only did it knowing that she could be rewarded for behaving in such a manner, such as when she ran for the title of "Snow Queen" but was utterly disappointed when she loses the election. For the most part, Jackie only cares about herself, and fashion is one of the few other things that she is concerned about. She believes herself to be very beautiful and appealing and has been involved in romantic relationships with Michael Kelso, Steven Hyde, and Fez at different points in the series. She starts to change when she starts dating Hyde and by doing so, becomes cemented as a member of the group. Even after her break up with Hyde, they remained good friends and she continued hanging around. She also becomes less shallow and cares about others. In the season 8 episode "Fun It", it is revealed she has had coulrophobia (an irrational fear of clowns) since her seventh birthday party. Jackie's friendships tend to be complicated. While people might be endeared to her good heart and her triumphs over major life upheavals, her habit of being condescending to others keeps them at a distance.Although she frequently criticizes Donna's dress, physique and feminism, she repeatedly calls herself Donna's best friend. Even though she thinks Donna is boring and unattractive when compared to herself, she believes Donna could do much better than Eric. Despite their extremely different personalities, Donna serves as Jackie's de facto big sister and often tries to look out for her when she feels Jackie is making a mistake, more often than not due to lack of common sense. After her father is sent to prison in the middle of season five, Jackie moves in with the Pinciottis after the Formans learn that she has secretly been living with Hyde in his basement room. Jackie is also defensive of Donna; she displays this often by insulting or kicking Eric for doing something stupid, for example Eric makes a sexist comment so Jackie kicks him in the shin in the episode "Won't Get Fooled Again". Although both girls often tease one another they show genuine friendship. In the episode "Squeeze Box" Donna shows how much she trusts Jackie when she runs in to talk about Eric. Jackie also demonstrates her level of care for Donna when she helps pay for Donna's wedding ring in the episode "No Quarter".Of the group, Jackie and Eric seemed to dislike each other the most in the beginning, though as the series progresses, they develop a friendship. She is more like a sister to him in comparison to his own sister, Laurie. Throughout the series, the two have a clear "frenemy" relationship. They demonstrate their annoyance with each other, but show compassion for each other many times, and through it all, are close. In the beginning of the series, Jackie admits to trusting and liking Eric, confiding in him that she might be pregnant. In "The Pill", for example, she says to Eric's surprise, "Look, I've always been able to trust you—and, God, you are such a nice guy." Later in the episode, once Kelso threatens to break up with Jackie, Eric yells at him, having developed protective feelings towards her. This proves that their burning of each other throughout the show is only for laughs and friendly bickering, as none of their hostility is ever serious. Eric is consistent in ignoring Jackie as an object of sexual desire, but this changes in "What Is and What Should Never Be" where Hyde helps Eric realize that Jackie is "hot". After this, Eric has shown to have a sexual attraction to her, as shown in many episodes. Jackie is sometimes demeaning towards Eric, as she is to almost everyone, mostly due to his dorkiness and lack of physical prowess. They occasionally help each other out. In the episode "Jackie's Cheese Squeeze", Eric admits that they are "friends", as long as they don't refer to each other as such in public, and in the season seven finale, Jackie calls Eric from Chicago and admits that she's always cared for him and that he was always very special to her. Early on, Red remarks she was the favorite of Eric's friends for her ability to hold a flashlight on a car. Jackie has run crying into Red's arms no fewer than three times, all of which left him baffled and uncomfortable. Red finds Jackie as annoying as everyone else, but she still loves him because he's the closest thing she has to a father.

When the show premieres, Jackie is dating Michael Kelso, a good-looking, brainless goofball. She decides to finally lose her virginity to him when he is released from jail after being mistakenly arrested for driving a stolen car. Jackie gets on Kelso's friends' nerves on a daily basis and Kelso repeatedly says that he is going to break up with her. However, in the first season it is Jackie who ends the relationship – twice. First, after Kelso is caught kissing Pam Macy (they get back together in the very same episode) and again after a pregnancy scare. However, admitting that they miss each other, they get back together at the Junior Prom. In season 2, Kelso is seduced by Eric's promiscuous and manipulative sister, Laurie, who later on begins a physical affair with him. Later in the season, Jackie eventually discovers his repeated infidelities and breaks up with him without realizing that Kelso has told Laurie that he is done with her since he only loves Jackie. After this breakup she is openly hostile to Kelso and many things clearly remain unfinished between them. She often insults him in front of his friends to get his attention and just for the sake of bringing him up. By season 3, she does eventually warm up to him. Following Kelso's breakup with Laurie, Kelso apologizes to Jackie for cheating on her because now he knows how it feels to be cheated on as Laurie cheated on him, except he states that what happened to him and Jackie was different because they were actually really in love. After this, Jackie begins to notice that Kelso has matured somehow, so Jackie devises a series of "tests" for Kelso to see if they should reconcile. He passes her tests and they get back together. Kelso remains loyal to Jackie after that and stays with her throughout season four, and they enjoy a happier, more loving relationship. However, towards the end of season 4, Jackie's father tells her that if she stays with Kelso, he will cut her off financially. She ends up choosing Kelso, and gets a job. Later, Kelso begins to spend less time with Jackie as a result of his joining a modeling agency and she is caught kissing her boss by Eric. This event spurs a period of discovery for Jackie and Kelso. After reading Cosmopolitan, Kelso realizes that the reason he cheated on Jackie with Laurie was because Jackie has always bossed him around and made him feel bad about himself. Following this revelation, he breaks up with her (true to form, the breakup doesn't stick and they reunite one episode later). In the season four finale, Jackie and Kelso both agree that they don't want to stay broken up. So, Jackie has Kelso choose to kiss any girl at The Hub to make things even between them and they can move on and be together again. Kelso surprises Jackie when he pretends to look around the room, but ends up choosing to kiss her. Jackie decides that it's time for Kelso to really choose her. Without warning, she brings up marriage to Kelso and decides that they're getting married. Kelso, feeling overwhelmed, runs away to California. When he returns in the beginning of season five, he (along with the others) is horrified to learn that she has begun dating Hyde. Jackie continues to date Hyde for most of the season, but when Kelso introduces Annette to the gang, Jackie finds herself clearly jealous and tells Donna that Michael is still supposed to pine over her. Later in the episode, she claims to not be jealous anymore, but the moment she sees Annette kissing Kelso, she screams, "Get off my boyfriend!" For the rest of the season, Kelso is clearly not over Jackie and doesn't realize that he's indirectly trying to win her back. Towards the end of season five, as Jackie comforts Kelso, he states that no one understands him like she does. In the finale, Kelso and Hyde make Jackie choose between the two of them and she chooses herself. By the beginning of season six, Kelso claims that he is happy and genuinely enjoying their new friendship. He spends the rest of the season trying to move on with his life, joins the police academy and impregnates a girl named Brooke and spends the rest of season 6 and 7 taking care of the baby. Towards the end of season seven, however, Kelso drives Jackie to Chicago after her break-up with Hyde, and Jackie asks him to spend some time with her before he leaves. He is later seen entering Jackie's hotel room in only a towel, implying that he and Jackie were about to sleep together, but runs off nude into the night when he sees that Hyde has come to the hotel to get Jackie back. In the beginning of season eight, with Hyde married to a stripper, Jackie figures out her own life. Kelso considers marrying Jackie and states that the happiest time of his life was with Jackie and claims he still loves her. When Fez tells Jackie what Kelso intends, she considers the proposal and decides that if he asks, she will accept. However, he gets offered a job out of town and realizes he can move on with his life, but Fez reveals to him that he has already told Jackie of the proposal. Kelso grows angry, and states that he loves Jackie and that he knows in the future, they will be together, but now is not the right time, but since Fez has implied that Kelso will lose all of his chances with Jackie if he doesn't propose now, Kelso ends up proposing at Red and Kitty's anniversary party, though, she turns him down giving practically the same reasons as Kelso, which is that she loves him, but he has a lot of maturing to do and she has her own life to figure out so now is not the right time for them yet. They both feel an unexpected relief, and end on good terms. Jackie and Steven Hyde are, from the beginning of the show, polar opposites and even enemies. She is disgusted by his poverty and crass behavior, he scorns her superficiality and materialism. They strongly dislike each other during the first season, but begin to form a bond when Hyde helps Jackie cope with her breakup with Kelso in season two. This leads to a brief period in which Jackie is infatuated with Hyde, but her feelings gradually fade. It isn't until season five, when Kelso is in California, that their romance begins. After watching The Price Is Right together all summer, the two begin making out every time they have a moment alone. When their friends discover the relationship, they each insist that they are not dating and that it is purely physical, but finally give in and admit that what they have goes deeper than just sex. They date for most of season five until Jackie sees Kelso kissing Annette and yells "Get off my boyfriend!" Hyde reacts angrily to this and grows suspicious of Jackie. When he sees Jackie holding Kelso in her arms, knowing Jackie and Kelso's long history and on-off relationship, Hyde assumes that something must be going on between her and Kelso again. Despite her pleas that she was only comforting him and that nothing untoward happened, he doesn't believe her and he takes revenge by spending the night with another woman. When he realizes that Jackie has been telling the truth, he confesses his infidelity. A heartbroken Jackie ends the relationship immediately. In the beginning of season six, Kelso and Hyde are in competition to get Jackie back because they both still love her. She decides she needs time to think about it, leaving them to wait and agonize, but chooses Hyde in the end. Their relationship goes on until Jackie is offered a job in Chicago. She is torn between her relationship and her professional ambition, but tells Hyde that she will stay if he can gives her the merest hope that they will eventually get married. Hyde has no immediate answer, and when he finally decides, he is upset to realize that she has already gone (or so he thinks). Jackie has no way out of Point Place, and in a final attempt to get an answer out of Hyde, she goes to the basement. Hiding his hurt and anger that she "left" him, Hyde tells her to have a good trip. Hyde decides he still wants her, and goes to her Chicago hotel to persuade her to take him back. During his conversation with Jackie, Kelso walks into the hotel room with a towel around his waist and a bucket of ice in his hands and implying that he and Jackie were about to have sex. Hyde goes to Las Vegas. When he comes back to Point Place, he has impulsively married a stripper named Samantha and she follows him back to Wisconsin. This effectively ends his and Jackie's relationship. Throughout season eight, Jackie remains single. She and Hyde, no longer together, have since remained good friends. However, their behavior regresses to how it was in the earlier seasons. Fez tells Jackie that Kelso intends to propose to her, and she decides that she will accept, but after considering it, she turns him down claiming that though she loves Kelso, he still has a lot of maturing to do, and now is not the time for them to be together. Feeling that she is in a low point in her life, Jackie decides to find someone that would be perfect for her and writes out a list of what she wants in a man. She is surprised to find out that Fez matches everything on the list. She denies this at first, but quickly comes around to the idea and decides to wait for Fez to come to her. Fez, however, is clueless of her attraction to him and is instead seeing other women at the time, which makes it hard for her. Jackie then chooses to go to him. She kisses him and asks if they can be together because he is the one good thing in her life right now, but Fez turns her down, feeling that she is treating him as a last resort, citing how she has already dated both Kelso and Hyde. Jackie then goes to the bathroom and cries, but immediately after vows revenge on Fez. She flushes his toothbrush, microwaves his lotion, and ruins his car with graffiti. To get back at Jackie, Fez dyes her hair green, and says that now she is ugly on the outside like she is on the inside. Hurt by Fez's words, Jackie decides to move out. However, she later learns through one of his friends that he loves her and wishes that he had never said those things. They eventually reconcile and in the final episode, Fez and Jackie finally get together and kiss atop the water tower.

Steven James Hyde III is a main character on FOX comedy That '70s Show. He is portrayed by Danny Masterson. Steven was born November 28, 1959 as the illegitimate son of William Barnett and Edna Hyde, legal son of Bud Hyde, and the foster son of Red and Kitty Forman. Hyde represents the adolescent of the seventies that was suspicious of government and organizations. In the first couple of episodes of the first season, Hyde was comparatively less intelligent than in later episodes and more "street smart". However, Hyde quickly falls into the role of the intelligent "tough guy". His intelligence is often undermined by his refusal to apply himself, but he is one of the smarter members, if not the smartest member, of the group. Hyde was actually a child prodigy, and might have gone on to do great things if not for a frame-up in elementary school where he was blamed for destroying a classmate's science project, which Eric had actually done. Hyde, like Eric, has a witty, blunt, and sarcastic sense of humor. He does not seem to take things seriously, but as the series progresses, the compassion, gratitude and love he has for those around him is evident. Hyde's advice is often sought by the members of the group because of his tendency to see things as they are, but his cynicism and his pleasure in seeing a good "burn" sometimes leads him to give his more gullible friends bad advice on purpose to watch their plans end in disaster for his own entertainment. Regarding more serious matters, Hyde shows compassion and empathy and gives his friends very good advice, showing he has a good sense of virtue. He gives the money he makes at the Fotohut to Red and Kitty to help them pay the bills. It is evidenced thus that Hyde has a sense of propriety and responsibility to rival that of his friend Eric's, yet is not proud of it as he is more accustomed to his stoner lifestyle. At the beginning of the first season, Hyde does not care for anyone around him and would much rather spend his time alone. He felt this way probably as a result of his father leaving him as a child and his substance-abusing, negligent mother. After the Formans take him in, and Eric and Hyde are considered brothers, he shows love and gratitude for the Formans and the rest of the group. When he moved in with Eric, he also did several chores around the house to show his gratitude. While Hyde enjoys his reputation as "the bad influence", there is some evidence throughout the show that some of Hyde's behavior had been influenced by his environment. His mother's own drug and police record is referenced throughout the course of the show. In one of the later episodes, Hyde is seen trying to give up pot and takes up exercising and cooking to get away from the habit, but it was his friends who actually pulled him back in, refusing to let him "ruin his life". Hyde despises authority. His displays of rebellion include smoking marijuana and cigarettes, drinking beer, and a devout interest in conspiracy theories. Though he may seem sarcastic and careless, as well as manipulative at times, over the course of the series a more mellow side of Hyde reveals itself through his show of gratitude towards the Formans for taking him in after his mother abandoned him, and his treatment of his significant others in his few relationships. Hyde almost always refers to and addresses his parents by their first names (Edna, Bud) or their initials (William Barnett). This practice of naming parents and other adults was frequently considered taboo in the 1970s, especially when addressing one directly. Eric Forman seems to have picked up a little from this practice, naming his parents when talking to others but not usually when addressing them directly. In contrast to this practice, Hyde usually refers to Kitty as "Mrs. Forman", but usually calls Red by his name, probably since it is a nickname (his real name is Reginald). Hyde holds a great deal of respect for Red and Kitty. His gratitude for them adopting him is very evident, and he tries his best to make them proud. One example of his respect for them is when he was arrested for possession of marijuana, Red was completely ready to throw him out of the house. While Kitty and Eric tried to persuade him not to, Hyde did not because he did not question Red's judgment. Though visibly disgusted with this decision, he simply replied that if Red does not believe that he is good enough to live in his house, or if they do not believe that he is positively influencing the group, then he will leave immediately without question. He was even about to leave peacefully until Red agreed to allow him to stay. Another example is when he is the only one to remember Kitty's birthday. Hyde is highly critical of organized religion. He tells an Episcopalian girl that she believes in "the exact opposite of what [he] believe[s] in". Also, in "Holy Crap!", he claims he does not go to church because it would make him a hypocrite. He specifically states, "While I respect the Judeo-Christian ethic, as well as the eastern philosophies and, of course, the teachings of Mohammed, I find that organized religion has corrupted those beliefs to justify countless atrocities throughout history. Were I to attend church, I'd be a hypocrite". Despite the fact that Hyde mentions God such as stating his hair was a gift from God in "Eric's Hot Cousin", he does not express any sort of religious affiliation.In contrast to the sensitive New-Age men prevalent in the 1970s, Hyde is very traditionally masculine, much like Red Forman. He does not voice or show his emotions often, a notable exception being when he has to tell Jackie he cheated on her in season 5, and other occurrences throughout their relationship. He does fake his emotions sometimes, like crying, but ends up sticking his tongue out and spitting. He does not worry about romantic relationships and women the way Kelso, Eric, and Fez do; he considers himself too "tough" and strong for that type of behavior. He generally acts as though he does not care for anyone, perhaps as a defensive mechanism; however, it is shown during the course of the series that he does care deeply about his friends and the Formans. He also shows compassion throughout the series, sometimes taking responsibility for other people's behavior, such as when Jackie gets caught by the police with marijuana, and when Eric breaks the television screen with a bowling ball. He was there for Jackie when Kelso cheated on her, for Donna when Eric broke his engagement with her, and when Fez was locked in a closet by a group of jocks, he told Fez to "come get him" if they bother him again. By the end of the series, the viewer is shown that although Hyde is not perfect, his morals and intelligence make him a good person. It's shown that Hyde is a deep person with good morals because he cherishes his friendships more than worldly or materialistic possessions. After Hyde's mother abandoned him, Hyde was forced to live on his own in his mother's house. Since he was so poor, he was going to sell the house and live on the streets. After Kitty and Eric saw how miserable Hyde was in the house, they persuaded Red to make his living arrangements better by asking Hyde to move in with them. In the episode "Hyde Moves In", Hyde moves in, but since there are no extra bedrooms in the house, he sleeps in the storage room in the basement on a military cot from Red's days in the war. Hyde finds a job working at the Fotohut for his burn-out boss, Leo, in order to pay his way for the generosity the Forman's show him. After Eric's departure to Africa, Hyde became more of the main character due to his relationship with Eric's parents (his foster parents) and marriage to Samantha. Hyde's best friend, and later foster-brother, is the nice, geeky Eric Forman The two share probably the closest friendship out of the group, shown by how they care and rely on each other and each others' advice. Eric and Hyde met in 1968 at age 9 when Eric asked Hyde to walk him home because he was scared of Donna, because she had punched him.Back then, Eric called Hyde, Steven. But Hyde told him that he goes by his last name Hyde. The two apparently hung out after Eric's mom forced the two to take a bath together. Hyde often calls Eric by his last name though has called him by his first name on rare occasions. Hyde developed a fairly close relationship with Eric's dad, Red Forman, who admired his toughness, lack of showing emotions, and traditional masculinity, all qualities his son Eric lacks. Red became the closest Hyde ever had to a real father after he moved in with the Formans. Red does occasionally feel that Hyde can be a bad influence on Eric, particularly due to his frequent marijuana use, and briefly kicked him out when Hyde was arrested. However, Red has shown more respect for Hyde than his own son, due to Eric's smart-mouth, inability to play sports, and lack of quality work habits.Red even offered a job at his muffler shop to Hyde and not Eric. Red and Hyde occasionally have a one-on-one man talk with each other, a famous one being in the episode "Hyde's Birthday" where Red opposes to Hyde's idea to move out when he was 18. Red states that if Hyde moves out, he is either going to end up at a dead-end job, or go to prison. Red also tells Hyde not to tell Eric about their talk, as Red will make Eric move out when he is 18. Hyde normally does what Red tells him and does not talk back to him, because he knows how much Red respects him. Hyde found a job working at the Foto Hut with his burned-out hippie boss Leo (Tommy Chong). Leo and Hyde created a friendship early on in Hyde's employment to the Foto Hut. In a season 2 episode, Hyde stated he never had a dad, and Leo stated that he never had a son. (Later in the series, however, Leo states that he does have a son.) Leo requests Hyde to be his father, and the two end up having a father/son relationship. In the episode "Magic Bus", Leo thinks of Hyde as the son he never had. Ironically enough, during his tenure in the Foto Hut, he was the more responsible worker between himself and Leo, even telling his own boss off for not doing his job. In season 5, Leo mysteriously disappeared from Point Place, leaving behind a note for Hyde that explains that he was only supposed to be in Point Place for a short while, but ended up staying for 6 years. Hyde was greatly upset by this, but Leo had left him some "film" and Hyde was okay. Hyde and Leo's friendship resumed when Leo returned to the series near the end of Season 7. Steven Hyde had a rough childhood. His step-father, Bud had abandoned him at a young age. Steven continued to be upset with him for years until he finally reconnected with him in season 3. In season 1, Hyde was abandoned by his mother, Edna Hyde who only appeared in the episode Career Day, and was heard in three others. Hyde and his mother generally do love each other but always argued worse than other families. In the end, Edna generally does love Hyde and admits that she was never a good mother. She apparently knew about Hyde's illegal doings, because it is hinted that she is the one that gave him his fake ID to buy beer. Hyde later discovers that Bud is not his real father and was somewhat surprised. Kitty discovers that Bud is not Hyde's real father. Hyde meets his father, William Barnett, who is a black man, making Hyde biracial. Hyde was mildly surprised but got around to it, as to him it explained a lot (his afro, his coolness, and suspicion of the man). He was also delighted to see he picked up some of his father's traits about conspiracy theories. There was brief tension since William believed he needed something from but they overcame it and went out for a drink. After that father and son got along better with the latter giving Hyde a job at his record store.Hyde later meets his half-sister, Angie, who one day dreamed of owning her own record company, but ends up working alongside WB in Madison. Hyde says that he knew Angie "wasn't right" ever since he heard her say that she was a math major. There was a 36,584/1 chance that Hyde's family would be black. Hyde and his sister had problems because she wanted to take over the business while he paid it no mind and had Jackie step in. Despite this, they got along better with Hyde even trying to defend her from being hurt after she started dating Kelso which left Angie touched as she really felt she had a brother. Much later, Hyde gave his blessing for them to date. Early on in the series, he was rarely interested in getting into a serious relationship, and was very cynical about the idea, as portrayed in some of his quips such as "Dating is prostitution, only you do not always get what you pay for". However, as the series progressed, he enjoyed a number of relationships. It was mentioned that his only girlfriend ended up leaving him for his uncle, and when Hyde and Fez make fun of Kelso for being "whipped" by Jackie, Kelso points out that he is the only one "getting any". Friends since childhood, Hyde had always liked Donna, a lot for her physical attributes. He had and still admires her femininity, masculinity, intelligence, and charm.When he noticed Donna was starting to have a thing for Eric in '76, he and him played mind games and verbally insulted each other to win over Donna, despite Hyde initially encouraging Eric to make his move on her.Eventually Donna chose her intuition and urge and went with Eric after Hyde was moving too fast (ex. kissing her unexpectedly) and Hyde not seeming like her ideal boyfriend, with Hyde quickly moving on from pursuing her, although he does compliment her looks and personality in micro and subtle ways at times, no matter if she is present or not. Donna still really loves Hyde as a good friend, wanting the best for him as she believes under his hard exterior, he is a good person deserving of love and happiness. Hyde also really loves Donna as a good friend and wants the best for her. In Season 5, he became paired with Jackie Burkhart. There is foreshadowing of their relationship throughout the series, most prominently at the Forman's Veteran's Day BBQ in Season 3, where Jackie's date Chip calls her a bitch behind her back. Hyde responds by punching Chip in the face, knocking him out. Later that day, after talking to Mrs. Forman, Hyde takes Jackie out for their first date which leads to their first kiss. Hyde also took Jackie to his junior prom in the first season, and he is the one Jackie goes to for comfort when she and Kelso encounter problems in their relationship, prompting him to ask, "Why does she always come to me?" Despite initially loathing Jackie for all that she represents (she is spoiled, shallow, and rich), he has his first real romantic relationship of the series with her. In the beginning of season 5, Hyde and Jackie both say that they are not together, it is just a meaningless fling. Hyde and Jackie's relationship was a very typical 'opposites attract' set up. Hyde tells Eric that he simply ignores Jackie's constant complaining and bossiness and focuses on how "hot" she is instead, although he does become more mature and caring as their relationship progresses. They came together during the summer between Seasons 4 and 5 when they found themselves bored with watching The Price Is Right. The relationship gradually grows into a surprisingly strong one, considering their past conflicts. However, they went through trouble when Hyde mistakenly perceives her to be cheating on him with Kelso. In response, he cheated on her. He sincerely apologizes, but Jackie ends the relationship. He even tells her that he loves her, something he has not said to anyone. The separation is brief, however, and they get back together at the beginning of Season 6. They remain together until midway through Season 7, when Jackie becomes insecure about their relationship and asks Hyde if he can see a future with her. His response, "I don't know", breaks them up briefly, but they reconcile after only a few weeks apart. However, when Jackie is offered a job in Chicago, Hyde allows her to leave. In the very next episode, however, he decides to follow her and propose. In the middle of Hyde and Jackie's conversation, Kelso walks into the room in only a towel, carrying a bucket of ice and making a comment implying he and Jackie were about to have sex. Although Kelso frequently makes sexual comments to every female on the show, including Jackie and Donna, Hyde once again believes the two really were about to engage in sex, and drives off to Las Vegas. Hyde wears an afro and sideburns, and his sunglasses, which he is almost always seen in. He regularly sports jeans, was once failed in PE for refusing to wear shorts, and also has many band t-shirts, which include: Santana, Judas Priest, Eric Clapton, AC/DC, KISS, Led Zeppelin, Jimmy Page, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, The Rolling Stones, Ted Nugent, Rush, Aerosmith, John Lee Hooker, The Allman Brothers Band, Blue Öyster Cult, Sex Pistols, Ramones, The Who, and the Grateful Dead. Contrasting with his tough guy exterior, Hyde was once caught on videotape dancing to Frank Sinatra singing. Additionally, following his first breakup with Jackie, he happened to hear B. J. Thomas' "(Hey Won't You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song" and became a fan of country music. Hyde along with these many bands holds a passionate love of Led Zeppelin, the group he wears most frequently, and when once questioned by his father as to why he wears said shirts he replies "If god didn't want me to wear them so much he wouldn't have made them rock so hard". He also noted that he likes to watch Little House on the Prairie, because it "reminds him of a simpler time". He dislikes the music of Pat Boone, Styx (although he did tap his foot to their music), ABBA, Peter Frampton, Andy Gibb, and Little River Band. In fact, he once even broke up with a girl because she liked the Little River Band.

Hyde is abandoned by his mother, Edna (Katey Sagal), who only appears in three episodes, two of which feature only her screaming voice calling from inside Hyde's house. His stepfather, Bud (Robert Hays), had left some years earlier when he got back together with Edna but they didn't tell Hyde of their whereabouts. A half brother was mentioned once in a Season 8 episode, though not much is known about him. Hyde's best friend, and later foster-brother, is the nice, geeky Eric Forman. The two share probably the closest friendship out of the group, shown by how they care and rely on one another and one another's advice. When Hyde's mother leaves town at the end of the first season, Eric tries to persuade his parents to do something about his best friend's living conditions and thus Hyde is invited to live with the Formans, which Hyde does from season one until the series' end. He is adopted into the Forman family, and lives in the basement of their house. Since there are no extra bedrooms, he sleeps in a small storage room on a cot. When Red kicks Hyde out after an arrest for drug possession, Eric attempts to come to his rescue. Hyde found a job working at the Foto Hut with his burned-out hippie boss Leo (Tommy Chong). Hyde and Leo become good friends until Leo suddenly leaves town because he remembered that he was only supposed to stay in Point Place for a short time, yet stayed for eight years, leaving his family behind. During his tenure in the Foto Hut, he was the more responsible worker between himself and Leo, even telling his own boss off for not doing his job. Hyde and Leo's friendship resumes when Leo returns near the end of Season 7. He gives the money he makes to Red and Kitty to help them pay the bills. It is evident that Hyde has a sense of propriety and responsibility to rival that of his friend Eric's, yet is not proud of it as he is more accustomed to his stoner lifestyle. Hyde develops a fairly close relationship with Eric's dad, Red Forman, who admires his toughness, lack of showing emotions and traditional masculinity, a quality his son Eric lacks. Red becomes the closest Hyde has to a real father after he moves in with the Formans. Red does occasionally feel that Hyde can be a bad influence on Eric, particularly due to his frequent marijuana use, and briefly kicks him out when Hyde is arrested. However, he is often shown to have a deeper respect for Hyde over his own son and occasionally prefers Hyde over him (such as when he offers Hyde a job at his new muffler shop instead of Eric). In the season 6 finale, Kitty discovers that Bud is not Hyde's real father. Subsequently, Hyde meets his biological father, William Barnett (Tim Reid), who is an African American, making Hyde biracial. He later meets his half-sister, Angie Barnett who dreams of one day running her own store, but ends up working alongside Hyde in their father's store. After Eric's departure to Africa, Hyde's conflicts were front and center in the series, mostly due to his relationship with Eric's parents (his foster parents) and his short marriage to Samantha. He experiences conflict with Kelso, who he punches for attempting to sleep with Jackie in Chicago. He also struggles to maintain civility with Jackie and manage his career. Later in the final season, Hyde receives a letter from his father, William Barnett telling him that he is selling his chain of record stores. Hyde, angry at the vague letter, fears that he won't be able to continue the career he loves. This drives him to actually quit "the circle" (although he returns to it by episode's end) Later, Barnett shows up to Hyde's record store to tell him that he sold every store except for the one in Point Place and has granted him sole ownership of the last remaining Grooves. Hyde ends the series as the owner and manager of his Grooves record store. Hyde is a rebellious, distant, wise-cracking boy with no respect for authority and often makes it his main priority to defy as many policies or rules as possible, and seems to take pride in his own disobedience. He is tough, highly intelligent, supremely insensitive and seldom feels compassion for others, and often will make a sarcastic remark rather than show sympathy for somebody who is suffering. In fact, Hyde is easily the most intelligent member of the gang despite his bad upbringing and poor grades in school. It is revealed in the Halloween special that Hyde's reputation is first sabotaged in elementary school, when Eric Forman ruins another student's diorama and Hyde receives the blame, and has since then maintained a reputation as a troublemaker and rebel. Although he rebels against school and other educational activities, he is generally smart, as in the episode "The Crunge", Hyde scores second lowest among the gang, but does better than Eric without textbooks and without applying himself. When other members of the gang need advice, Hyde is usually the only one who gives them real advice. Also, Hyde is physically the strongest (and presumably the best fighter) in the group, although on multiple occasions Hyde has backed down from an aggressive Eric and rarely ever lashes out on Eric the same way he does with Fez and Kelso. On many occasions throughout the show, Hyde beats up Kelso for various reasons, and he is easily stronger than Fez, Eric and even Donna.

Michael Christopher Kelso is a main character on FOX comedy That '70s Show. He is portrayed by Ashton Kutcher. Michael was born on August 28, 1959 to John Kelso. Tall and lanky, he is the dim-witted pretty-boy of the group, coasting through life on his good looks. His behavior is very much in line with a stereotypical oversexed lunkhead. Michael has surprised many by scoring higher on a test than some of his other friends, leading some to believe that perhaps Michael is not dumb, but just naive.Michael is the oldest of the gang, having failed the first grade for his "refusal" to write in cursive and accidental murder of the class bunny. He has been lying about his age ever since. On a trip to potential colleges he claimed that he had been dropped on his head as a child. Michael is one of 7 siblings, including his older brother, Casey, at least two other brothers and a sister (whom Hyde says is an uggo; a term used by Hyde to describe someone who he does not deem attractive, which is somewhat ironic as Michael is constantly referred to as handsome, along with his brother Casey). Michael's interests mainly include watching cartoons, having sex, smoking marijuana, playing with "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots", toy dinosaurs, dreaming of becoming an astronaut, and incessantly boasting of his God-like complexion. Apart from acting incredibly stupid, Michael is also known to be quite sensitive. Michael is shown in a flashback as a 13-year-old, stating that he is lost all interest in school and academic aspirations, suggesting that he was not always as dumb as people believe him to be. Michael enjoys a good "burn", a painful humiliation to someone. He screams "Burn!" anytime anyone says a burn.Kelso appears to enjoy the music of Led Zeppelin, Foghat, Pink Floyd, Molly Hatchet, Aerosmith, David Bowie, Todd Rundgren, and Peter Frampton. Some of his secrets include being a fan of Styx and having a crush on Jackie Kennedy. Kelso loves dogs. In "Eric's Naughty No-No" he cuddles in the Foremans driveway with five dogs at once. Earlier in the episode he was confessing stuff to Jackie, one of the things which was that one time they were about to fool around and he said that he had washed his hands but he had just finished playing with six dogs. In "Holy Craps!" he is excited that the Petersons have just gotten a new dog, and encourages the gang to go with him to check it out. Michael has a long time relationship with Jackie, played by Mila Kunis, a popular and self-centered cheerleader (coincidentally Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are married in real life). The two lost their virginity to each other after Michael and his friends got out of jail for riding in a car that was mistaken for being stolen. Jackie gets on Michael's friends nerves on a daily basis and Michael repeatedly said that he was going to break up with her. But Jackie beat him to it and broke up with him after a pregnancy scare. They got back together later. Michael loves a good burn as much as the next guy, even when the burn is at his expense, but generally he does not mean to severely hurt someone, which he often does but most of the time he hurts people by means of accident rather than on purpose. It is revealed on That70sShow.com that the astrological sign of both Michael and Jackie is Virgo. Michael has an affair with Eric's sister Laurie, which leads to Michael and Jackie breaking up again in Season 2. During the next season they get back together after Jackie devises a series of tests to see if Kelso has matured. But at the end of Season 4 Jackie wants to get married and a freaked out Kelso bails on Jackie and helps Donna Pinciotti run away to California. When they return in Season 5 Michael finds out Jackie has moved on and is now romantically involved with Steven Hyde. He tries to deal with it but can not and after Hyde cheats on Jackie, he thinks he has a shot but Hyde wants Jackie back too and fights with him over her. After discovering in Season 6 that Jackie chooses Hyde who will not take her back, Michael decides to help get them back together, and wishes them the best. In the Season 6 a plot-line was added that made Michael the father of a baby girl (conceived in a bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert) with Brooke Rockwell. In Season 7, he gets involved with Hyde's sister Angie but she breaks up with him after she is transferred to another job (which he gets angry about, although he was going to break up with her anyways). In Season 8, Kelso leaves Point Place, but before he does, he proposes to Jackie and she rejects him (which he is delighted about). It is hinted however that Jackie would have said yes if Fez had not told her first, because she had always loved Kelso and thought of him as her soulmate. He then tricks the gang in the circle into thinking that he was leaving, but was really leaving the next day. Kelso is kicked off the force, making him happily accept a better job as a security guard for a Chicago playboy bunny club from the sleazy owner who is played by guest star Bruce Willis. He returns for New Years Eve and jumps off the water tower with Fez and Hyde (Fez and Hyde try to trick him but Michael's brilliant mind outsmarts their trick, although he then willingly jumps off the water tower anyway for the new decade). He then joins the last circle and calls Red a dumbass. He is also the last character to be seen as the show ends, grabbing the stupid helmet, as he makes his way up the basement stairs to call Red a "dumbass". 

Kelso was first introduced in "That 70s Pilot" as Eric Forman's lesser-intelligent, loudly obnoxious friend who is dating a preppy, younger student Jackie Burkhart. But later during the season the couple goes through multiple breakups. Much to his friends' annoyance, he frequently claims to be breaking up with Jackie but does not go through with it, in hopes she'll 'put out' eventually (but instead, Jackie breaks up with him first). Because of her, he misses out on a Todd Rundgren concert, instead spending the evening making out in the back of the Vista Cruiser. As the series progresses, it is later revealed that Michael cheats on his girlfriend (most notably with Pam Macy and Eric’s sister Laurie). At one point, Jackie finds out and banned Kelso from coming to her ski trip, though Michael still attempts to find a way there. Kelso also unwittingly gets his friends into trouble after driving them around in an apparently stolen car. They were arrested, though Eric's connections with his father got them out of trouble. Eventually, Kelso loses his virginity to Jackie, though they go through a scare that she may be pregnant, which turns out to be a false alarm.  Eventually, Kelso purchases a van which becomes the main focus of his secondary story during seasons 2 and 3. On one occasion, Jackie wishes to decorate the van resulting in it becoming temporarily covered in stuffed animals, though all were removed soon after. The van becomes the gang's main source of transportation on long distance journeys, such as Van Stock and to the Ice Shack. However, it ultimately meets its fate when it sinks to the bottom of a river. Like Eric, Kelso buys his girlfriend Jackie a promise ring to show how important the relationship is to him. However, while Jackie is overjoyed with her ring, Donna becomes unsure of her future with Eric, causing Eric to break up with her. The fourth-season premiere episode sees Eric envisioning a possible future with Donna, a woman he has not actually met. In this future, Kelso and Jackie have broken up once again only to consistently re-kindle their relationship for a one-night stand every time they reunite. Kelso also spends most of that season attempting to pry Eric from his depression, though ultimately chooses Fun Land over Eric in the second episode, only to get lost and brought back by a concerned mother. The mother, however, kicks him out of her car after he threatens her children following their insults to him, causing Kelso to walk home. Kelso is also elected for Snow King at the snow prom much to Jackie's disapproval. Class Picture is a flash-back episode revealing how each of the gang members met. Kelso and Eric's meeting is not explained thoroughly, though it is presumed they simply met in first grade. However, Forman's first impression of Kelso is remembered as Kelso showing up at the door without pants. After a quick reminder, Kelso exclaimed 'My pants!!' before rushing home. It is also revealed he is the only male member of the gang not to have seen Donna's breasts, though she allows him to see them after. Kelso later invented a day which he named 'Prank Day' where he attempts to prank his friends as many times as possible. During the Season 4 finale, Jackie misleadingly believes that Kelso is proposing to her, causing him to decide to run off to California. After meeting up with Donna, who had recently been humiliated by her then boyfriend and Kelso's brother, Casey, they both take off. When Kelso returns at the beginning of Season 5, he finds out that Jackie has moved on to Hyde, which makes him extremely jealous and he spends the majority of the season trying to get her back. Eventually, Kelso claims to be over Jackie and renews his friendship with Hyde, and begins a relationship with Annette (Jessica Simpson), a girl he had a short relationship with in California. Jackie, in the same manner as Kelso had, becomes jealous and even goes so far as to yell, "Get off my boyfriend!" when she sees Kelso and Annette kissing. Kelso responded positively to this and began to make a big show of it. Annette leaves him at the school dance, telling him he isn't over Jackie, and Kelso soon realizes that Annette is right.  So when Jackie breaks up with Hyde, Kelso does all he can to win her over, even competing with Hyde at some point. However, when Jackie chooses Hyde over him, he respects her decision and even helps to bring the two together again. From then on, Kelso and Jackie share a relationship as friends. In Season 6, Kelso is the focus of a major plot twist in which he accidentally impregnates a girl named Brooke in a bathroom at a Molly Hatchet concert. Brooke initially does not want Kelso in the baby's life, much to Kelso's relief. However, a pep-talk from Donna causes him to change his mind as he attempts to prove to Brooke he can be a father. In the seventh season, Betsy Kelso, is born. Brooke leaves for Chicago, giving Kelso permission to see Betsy whenever he can. Kelso becomes a policeman, albeit a bumbling one. He attempts to take his job seriously by growing a moustache and calling himself "Mike," and even going as far as flushing Hyde's marijuana stash down the toilet (in The Circle), but he quickly reverts when Hyde and Fez shave his moustache and made the moustache resemble the moustache Adolf Hitler was famous for. He eventually sets the police academy on fire using a flare gun, but even before then, had broken into the academy and gets his supervisor's squad car stolen by Hyde & Fez. At the end of Season 7, Kelso drives Jackie to Chicago after her break-up with Hyde. When Hyde follows her there to propose, he finds Kelso naked, wrapped in a towel, making a comment implying that he and Jackie were about to have sex. Although Kelso frequently makes sexual comments to every female on the show, including Jackie and Donna, Hyde believes the two really were about to engage in sex, and drives off to Las Vegas, effectively ending his relationship with Jackie. Ashton Kutcher did not renew his contract for the eighth and final season of the series but he appeared in a recurring guest role in the first four episodes of season 8 in order to bring closure to the character. The series begins with Kelso avoiding Hyde after he catches him about to have sex with Jackie in a motel room. When Hyde finally catches Kelso, he punches him in the face and then decides to resume their friendship. With this storyline resolved and the end of Hyde and Jackie's relationship, Kelso resumes his police work duties. However, when Randy and Fez decide to throw a bachelor party for Hyde after his marriage to a stripper, Kelso is fired due to misuse of police equipment and unprofessional behavior. This causes Kelso to wonder what he has going for him and decides that Jackie is the one for him all along. He decides to propose to Jackie, seeing as she was the one he has always loved. He later rethinks this decision, deciding against it after a job offer is given to him. However, Fez had already told Jackie about his plans. Feeling pressured to do something, and scared that he might lose all his future chances with Jackie, he attempts to propose, albeit with a balloon (which is how Jackie wants to be proposed to), at the Forman's anniversary, but Jackie says no, much to Kelso's relief. They both decide they have a lot of maturing to do, many things to take care of in their own lives and, even though they both admit to loving each other, agree that it is not the right time to get married. He then joins his friends for one final circle before his departure. Kelso does not appear in succeeding episodes, although he is occasionally referenced by the remaining characters. He returns, though, in the series finale to welcome in the New Year with his friends, much to their pleasure.

Among Kelso's most famous personality traits are conceit and sheer stupidity, performing a great number of idiocies on a regular daily basis. Despite his stupid nature, he shows moments of shining intellect, demonstrating the ability to do fast mathematical division and fixing Red's Pong machine. During a flashback scene, it is implied that Kelso used to be a bookish, motivated student until Hyde introduced him and Eric to marijuana when they were in junior high. Throughout the series, Kelso has made a large quantity of moronic quotes and performed many dimwitted blunders, and possesses numerous infantile qualities such as enjoying Christmas specials deemed childish by his peers and fussing when something is preventing him from viewing them. It also been hinted Kelso loves dogs. Like the other teenage male central characters of the series, Kelso also possesses an abundance of "horny" personality traits and appears especially fond of the idea of having sexual relations and the willingness to spoil his virginity results in the impregnation of a librarian named Brooke and the birth of a little girl named Betsy toward the end of the series. He fancies himself as quite attractive and capable of winning the affections of women such as Jackie Burkhart, with whom he has shared an on-again/off-again relationship throughout the course of the series. Kelso also likes bands such as Led Zeppelin, Foghat, Deep Purple, Aerosmith, KISS, Ted Nugent, Pink Floyd, AC/DC, The Rolling Stones, The Who and Molly Hatchet. It is revealed in the Halloween special that Kelso is a year older than the other teenagers due to being held back a year in the first grade, which angers Hyde knowing that all along Kelso is legally allowed to purchase beer for the teenagers. It is clear from Jackie and Kelso's relationship that Kelso definitely is not the one wearing the pants in his relationships; he is easily manipulated (Laurie pointed this out once and called him a "tool") and never fulfills his promise of breaking up with his girlfriend, although later it may simply be because he is afraid to break a woman's heart.[48] When he dates Annette in Season 5, he even remarks "It's good to be under someone's thumb again!" with a grin, suggesting he prefers his women to be controlling. After uttering this line, Fez asks him, "What did your mother do to you?" which Kelso answers with a stupid grin. In the Season 2 episode "Kelso's Serenade," he says, "I wish Jackie was still controlling me, I love being on a short leash." Kelso often remarks that he has an entire future planned out for him. He says this several times in the third and fourth season. This was apparently a way to convince others he was mature, but his friends viewed it as boastful and annoying. Kelso's only plan was to coast through his life on his good looks, and when he believes this might not happen, he greatly overreacts. He also has fallen off the water tower every year since Jr. High, a fact either explaining or explained by his idiocy. Kelso is naive and simple-minded compared to his other friends. Also, Fez describes him as being delicate and sensitive. However, as the series progresses, a slight growth and maturity can be seen in his character. It is revealed in the episode "Over the Hills and Far Away" that the origins of his stupidity was because he was dropped on his head as a kid. (which easily upsets him because everyone else had the grace to never mention it).

Fez is a main character on FOX teen comedy That '70s Show. He is portrayed by Wilmer Valderrama. Fez was born August 4, 1960. One of the shows running gags is that no one knows what country Fez is from. Fez is merely the phonetic version of the acronym FES: Foreign Exchange Student. His friends know his true name (the audience does not because when he says his name the high school bell is ringing), It is very long and he says the first five K's are silent. His friends say they are not going to remember it, as seen in a flashback episode so they decide to call him Fes(z) but Kelso suggested that they call him "Captain Poo-Face". What Valderrama was actually saying was the first names of the main actors who appear in the show. It was rumored that his mother and his true native homeland would be revealed in the series finale, but all were proved false. He once said he had Latin pride, which led Red to believe he was Latin. Fez retorted "No, only my pride is". He once said that he could speak Dutch in a job interview, and viewed this as "his strongest point". Also, Fez once claimed his country has never fought a war. In another episode, however, he alludes to the fact that his country "won the war" against Britain. In Stolen Car he referred to his country as "The beautiful island of-" but was interrupted. The last two indicate that he may be Indonesian. In another episode he tells the gang that his ancestors were not Mayan. Fez refuses to ever mention what country he is from.Another running gag for Fez in the show is his accent and slight lisp. Fez also tries to constantly pick up women flirting constantly with Donna, Jackie and even Laurie on a regular basis and he fails miserably every time. Fez's hormones and pervert like instincts always get the better of him and he resort to hiding in a closet like a pervert watching Donna and Eric having sex and has been caught on at least two occasions. Eric and Fez are pretty good friends, playing burns on each other, playfighting like the rest of the guys do, and complimenting each other friendly. Eric is especially helpful in keeping the peace following Red's heart attack over Laurie & Fez's marrying, to help Fez not get deported. Kitty Forman is basically the mother Fez never had. Very supportive, nurturing, smothering, and kind to him, Fez and Kitty have a very tight-knit relationship. Fez loves Kitty's upbeat and strong personality along with her protection of him while Kitty loves Fez's innocence, independence, happy go lucky, sensitive, and somewhat intellectual personality.Their relationship does take a bump in the road however towards the end of the series where Fez shouts to Kitty "You're not my mother!", exclaiming displeasure and disobedience in Kitty's demand for Fez to stop having one night stands. Kitty was very upset and disappointed over the whole ordeal and reminisced over their best moments as she was quiet for a while, which was unusual, especially for Red. Fez later apologized and the duo rekindled with open arms. Hyde and Fez start out by sharing the commonality of being more aware of how to romance girls than Eric and Kelso, while also being the competition to the latter two guys respective girlfriends, Donna and Jackie. Especially around Kelso, Fez and Hyde always share knowing looks and appreciate each other's burns where Kelso is oblivious. They also take to defend each other to the group or protect each other, such as when Eric and Donna post break-up fight over rights to the gang and Fez gets caught in the crossfire, or Fez attacking Kelso when the latter flushes their 'bag' stating that Kelso broke Hyde. Fez is also arguably the only guy not scared of standing up to Hyde and speaking his truth in the face of Hyde's potential retribution. However, this is one of Fez's common traits. The two start out as rivals for Jackie's affections, although she isn't ready to admit that she'd rather be with Fez until years later. Where Kelso is a complete schmuck when it comes to Jackie, and also cheats on her, Fez is suave, a great dancer and a romantic. Fez also tells Kelso straight up what he thinks of him and the two eventually bond over not being able to win Jackie (after Jackie and Kelso break up) and become close friends, although the two do have their moments, such as Kelso often looking down on Fez because he is a foreigner and Fez looking down on Kelso because of his ignorance. The friends have a secret somewhat man crush on each other but will never act on it. In the first half of the series, Fez longingly pined for Jackie Burkhart, worshiping her like a queen (although he was often just as annoyed by her as the other gang). Jackie either failed to realize his love for her or did not act upon it because he was too weird . They did share a kiss in one episode when he mistakenly thought Jackie was opening up to him. They shared another kiss when pretending to be dating to help Jackie keep her job. Michael Kelso, Jackie's boyfriend, quickly socked him in the face. Jackie revealed to her friend Donna that she did enjoy his display of affection. Other times that Jackie has shown a small interest in Fez include the time when he wowed her with his dancing moves at a Disco and when he helped her win at a Roller Disco contest.Jackie got drunk to celebrate her win and hit on Fez. After battling with his light and dark side (shown as two shrunken Fezs on each of his shoulders dressed as Batman and The Riddler), he decided to be a gentleman and not take advantage of her. The two did go on a date when Jackie broke up with Kelso, but Fez was let down when he realised that Jackie had not yet gotten over Kelso. He was also disgusted that she was engorging herself with food.Towards the end of the series, she finally realizes her feelings for him and kisses him but he rejects her. Jackie later sought revenge after being hurt Fez turned her down because of his assumption that she only wanted him because he was "a third base" to Hyde and Kelso. After Jackie's revenge's destruction is done, Fez gets even by ruining her hair and reminding her of all her previous rejections to him and calls her an awful person for hurting her actions. After brief tensions, he realizes his error but is turned away with this failure, he tries to go back to his country. Though after she is persuaded by his friend, she comes to see she genuinely likes him and stops him from leaving. In the Season 8 episode before the finale, the two finally confessed their feelings and become boyfriend and girlfriend.

[mayve-hems]

Money | a.i.

Type: IMAGINE | ONE SHOT | MULTI CHAPTER

Summary: Y/N and Ashton are very in love. But Y/N has a secret she needs to tell Ashton that she keeps putting off. But at the same time, Ashton has a secret for Y/N. How will it all unravel? 

Word Count: 7.0k

Note: Not my gif! Thank you to my friend Jo for editing this. I know this took several days to write, but honestly, it would have been here sooner if my family didn’t decide at midnight to send me to another state to pick up my grandfather. I have more coming soon, so just keep an eye out. Also, if you’d like to request something (headcanon/blurb/Oneshot/imagine) then I am open to requests at this time. Don’t hesitate! 

Warnings: only cussing :)

~Maeve

-

He’s hopelessly in love with her. So helplessly in love with her that he can’t imagine a single second without knowing if she’s okay. During concerts, they let each other know that they’re okay through code words, hand gestures, or straight up confirming it during the show. He’d give up his entire livelihood to hand her the keys to the universe. He’ll twirl a drumstick in his right hand seven times if there’s a problem or he’s feeling unsure; she’ll whisper into his earpiece that she loves him if she counts the seven spins. While she’s standing in the wings of the curtains, she’ll motion a broken heart with her hands if she feels something is off inside of her body; he’ll blow her a kiss in return.

One of the few times Michael Wants Another Slice was requested from an entire arena, she got on top of his shoulders as he screamed into the microphone. The boys found humor in a six-foot-tall, My Little Pony lover, singing a death metal song with his blue-haired girlfriend sitting on his shoulders. The crowd? They absolutely ate it up.

“What do you guys think of her?” Ashton asked the crowd the first time Michael Wants Another Slice was requested. The arena screamed in return, calling about how beautiful and perfect they were together. Y/N leaned her face down in front of Ashton’s and gave him a kiss while covering his eyes with her hands. Luke thought the crowd had a panic attack at the peck. She brushed the blue curls from her precious eyes and smiled. “I mean I’m okay with that.” Luke helped her hop down from Ashton’s shoulders and onto the Marley stage. She picked at her ripped black jeans and adjusted her white bustier.

Now, it’s normal for when a crowd greatly desires the beautiful sounds of Michael Wants Another Slice, she sits atop her boyfriends' strong shoulders and rocks out with the band. She’s their only exception; the other boys are more single than a lonely Pringle, standing on stage without a girlfriend waiting for them. Though Ashton jokes that she’s the bands' girlfriend, she still is strictly into Ashton.

The boys play the last note of Michael Wants Another Slice, John Feltmann brushing the drumsticks over the cymbals until the guitar riffs stop. Luke slips his guitar off to Calum and holds his hands out for Y/N’s to grab. She hoists her hips up from Ashton’s shoulders and keeps a strong grip on Luke. Her Converse land on the floor and she picks at her skinny jeans. Mostly the thigh area- where she’s most insecure.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Ashton asks the crowd. Cheers and chants reply back, every syllable of her name lining up with a clap. “I know right?” Ashton giggles. Before long, Y/N won’t be able to sit atop his shoulders and laugh while he sings. She won’t tell him that until she’s ready though. “I love you, Y/N!”

The beautiful girl laughed, grabbing onto the hand that wasn’t holding a microphone. “You’re a dork.”

“Fun fact,” Ashton spat through the speakers. “Y/N can’t sing!”

“You’re a liar!”

“I am not!”

“Give me that damn thing,” Y/N grabbed the microphone from her sweaty boyfriend and wrapped both hands around the base. Putting it close to her lips, she cleared her throat. She horribly sang Money until the chorus when the boys couldn’t contain their giggles. Michael tried to play his guitar but his fingers kept skipping frets until he whined to get the microphone away from her plump lips. “I am a great singer, right?”

The crowd cheers a lie that made her smile.

“I love you with all my heart, baby girl,” said Ashton. “But you sound like a dying pig!”

Y/N turned her head towards his for a kiss. “And you sound like a kangaroo.”

The kissed, the crowd cheered even more, and Y/N exited the stage.

-

“How’d I do?” Ashton asked his girlfriend, handing her a cup of alcohol. She smiled, pretended to take a sip, and rolled her eyes. “Was it good?”

“It was great,” She replied. “As always.”

Ashton wrapped his arms around his girlfriend in a bear hug. His nose dug into the strands of blue hair on her neck and inhaled the scent of vanilla- his favorite. It’s a type of relaxation; the smell of vanilla always present on her skin. His brain associates the light scent with affection and adoration; blue hair and tight skinny jeans; dewy mornings and laying in a warm bed; sarcastic comments and lighting-type kisses. The scent of her skin and hair whisper into his ears that he is safe and shouldn’t be scared of anything.

“You’re a pain in my ass, you know?”

“I know.” Y/N rolls her eyes again. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton shrugs, continuing to hug his girlfriend from behind. Y/N doesn’t mind bear hugs from her kangaroo significant other; they’re her favorite part of the day. Besides when they fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with a single blanket over them both; their legs tangled into a mess of bare skin, with Ashton’s hands riding up the back of the shirt she stole from him. “Have you eaten anything for dinner?”

Y/N shakes her head. “I’m not that hungry.”

“What’d you have for lunch?”

She describes her favorite meal to him; a delicious tray of food laid with everything she’d give her life for . . . besides Ashton. Ashton nods, listening to her talk about food like it’s her entire life. “It was good.”

“Sounds like it,” Ashton hugs her even tighter. She feels like she’s going to explode. “We oughta’ get you some food though. What do you want?” Y/N repeats that she’s not starving, but Ashton refuses to take that as an answer. “We can go get something from the store if you’d like.”

“I’m not hungry, Ash,” She whispers. She’s starving, but she doesn’t want to interrupt the after-party with One Direction for something to eat. Once they get back to the proper hotel room, they’ll change from performance clothing into comfortable attire and have a late-night run to some hole-in-the-wall food joint with greasy food and caffeine-loaded sodas. “Are you?”

“I always am,” Ashton laughs. “Are you really sure though?”

Y/N gives in. “We still have to go back and-”

“Who cares?”

“Cal-”

“They’re having their own fun and whatever,” Ashton points at Luke and Michael arguing over a game of Fifa. “See,” Luke is growing angrier at Michael. “They’re content with their own lives. Let’s go get something to eat.”

They stop at Ashton’s hotel room before leaving the building. Ashton strips down and up into a pair of jeans and one of his favorite shirts -one that Y/N hasn’t stolen yet. Y/N just changes into clothes she’ll fall asleep in later; Ashton’s grey sweatpants and her most recently stolen shirt. Ashton laughs when the clothes engulf her.

“You’re a little Ashton,” He takes her hands in his and twirls her around a little bit. “What would you like to eat, my love?”

“I want pancakes!” Y/N squeals. She shoves her hands into the pockets of the sweatpants, where her phone, wallet, and keys are. The pad of the girls’ thumb brushes the textured keychain. “With maple syrup.”

“You hate both of those!” Ashton chuckles. Every time Ashton and Y/N have tried pancakes with maple syrup, she takes a few bites before handing it off to Ashton because the taste repulses her. She ends up ordering crepes or egg whites and devouring them like she hasn’t eaten in weeks. “You aren’t going to eat them, baby girl.”

“Give me one more chance,” Y/N begs. All she’s wanted for the past two weeks has been pancakes with maple syrup soaking through the fluffy carbs and pooling near the edges of the plate. “Please? Pancakes?”

Ashton sighs. “Fine,”

-

When it comes to early-morning interviews or meetings, Ashton normally lets Y/N sleep in until her heart is content and rested. He usually returns before she’s escaped the comfort of their shared bed, however. He’s not surprised when he returns to Y/N dead asleep, face stuffed into the hard pillow, and snoring away when he arrived back at hotel room 304. Luke runs into the room and jumps onto his bed in an attempt at resting even more, but bounces once on the mattress and lands against the wall.

Y/N jumps up at the loud noise, disregarding her lack of pants. “What’s going on?” She screams at Luke while he rubs his pain-filled arm. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Luke snaps. He hoists himself onto the mattress again and tosses his blanket over his body. He doesn’t change from interview clothes. “Goodnight!”

Y/N rolls her eyes and grabs Ashton’s sweatpants from the floor. She pulls the grey trousers up her legs and ties the waistband to her approximate size. Her boyfriend watches in admiration, not realizing that they sweatpants are tied a little looser than they normally were. “How was the interview?” Y/N yawns and rubs her face. Tired still flushes through her system.

“Good, it went well,” Ashton confirms. “We have rehearsal in two hours, Luke!”

“Shut up!” Luke calls to his bandmate. His head is pounding from this mornings hangover.

Ashton grabs Y/N’s suitcase from the floor and opens it for her. She shoves her red makeup bag underneath her arm, along with a freshly washed outfit. While the boys are off doing their own thing, Y/N sometimes stays back to wash clothes and blankets with Liz. It’s their attempt to make the tour bus and hotel rooms smell less like a musky boy. Half of the time it doesn’t help, so they douse tour bunks and couches with Febreze.

“You feeling okay, baby girl?” Ashton asks. He notices her slow movements and fatigued body. She’s gained a little bit of weight, but Ashton doesn’t notice the extra pudge on her belly. She looks healthy and beautiful in his eyes, so why would he care? Y/N nods her head. The pads of Ashton’s fingers tug her hair from her face so he can see her correctly. Her face is pale and tired, even though she slept for at least eight hours. He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead; she’s warm like a sick child. “Want me to get Liz to take you to a doctor?”

“No, I’m just tired,” Y/N shrugs off.

“You’re sick, baby girl,” Ashton kisses her forehead. “Are you sure you don’t want to go see a doctor?”

“Yeah,” Y/N whispers. “I’m okay. Just worn out.”

Ashton nods and moves out of Y/N pathway. She barely turns the shower on before she’s throwing up pancakes. Her throat burns from her stomach acidity. Somehow, Ashton and Luke don’t hear Y/N almost dying in the bathroom of the suite. Y/N strips down to her naked body and sits at the bottom of the bathtub for a while.

She has to tell Ashton at some point, but she can’t bring herself to do it. He has to know what’s going on! Calum has been privy to some of Y/N situation after he accidentally walked into the tour bus bathroom, where Y/N was throwing up her guts. She made him promise that he wouldn’t dare speak a word to her boyfriend, though. Calum has kept the promise, even though he’s still slightly confused about the entire circumstance.

“Babe,” Ashton whispers, distracting Y/N from her staring-at-the-water episode at the bottom of a porcelain tub. The scent of vanilla fills his nostrils like smoke. “I’m going to go with Cal and Mikey to the arena. Are you okay here with Luke?”

“Yeah,” Y/N lies. She doesn’t want Ashton to leave her with Luke. She has nothing against the youngest band member, she just wants to be in the presence of her boyfriend. Her hands trace the hickeys biting at her thighs. That’s why she wears jeans all the time. “I’ll text you in a bit.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ashton closes the bathroom door and lets Y/N continue -or rather, start- her shower.

-

Her eyes open.

“When are you going to tell Ash?” Luke questions, scrolling through his phone. The tweets are showing up over and over again about Y/N and Ashton. He loves them two as a couple, but dear God, he’s tired of the tweets. Y/N is like Luke’s big sister- one that’ll protect him from the scary monsters and separation anxiety, even though his mom is on tour with them. He’s ready to beat up all the haters and assholes.

“What?” Y/N tries to sit up from her uncomfortable hospital bed, but she doesn’t have enough strength. Luke puts his phone face down on the blue seat next to him so he can help her. She sits up and grimaces towards her IV. “What’s going on?”

“Ashton’s just about here, so think some shit up,”

“What?” Y/N asks again. She’s wearing the clothes she picked out before her shower. “What happened?”

“You were walking out of the bathroom and you fainted,” Luke answers. Y/N notices how her jeans won’t button, so she tries to fix it. The button won't fit through the hole without squeezing her belly uncomfortably. “When are you going to tell Ashton?”

Y/N stares at her belly. Ashton’s Metallica shirt is rolled up above the unsolvable button. She shoves the cloth down to cover the metal. Ashton can’t know. “Eventually.”

“Why not now?”

“Because,” Y/N sighs. “It’s not noticeable.” She lets her head fall back to the pillow. “What’s wrong with me?”

“You were dehydrated,” Luke points to the IV bag. “And you’re-”

“Shut up!” Y/N screams.

She’s discharged from the hospital before Ashton arrives. She hides pictures in her purse and the unbuttoned-button underneath Ashton’s shirt. When he sees her, Ashton pulls her close, brushing blue hair from her face. She cries into Ashton’s chest, feeling hopeless and weak.

“Are you okay?” Ashton questions, pressing his hand to her forehead. She’s cooled off a little bit. “What happened? Y/N are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Y/N grabs Ashton’s hands. Her fingers are tiny against his. “Just dehydrated and stuff. Shouldn’t you be in rehearsal?”

“They pushed it back an hour,” Ashton replies. He’s shaking. The eldest member of 5 Seconds Of Summer doesn't want to let his girlfriend out of his sight again. But he knows he has to. “You’re not going on stage at all tonight. I mean it.” Y/N giggles a little bit. “I’m serious. You’re going to sit in my dressing room and you’re going to drink so much water that you pee every five minutes!”

“Ashton you’re being excessive,” Y/N laughs. She’s still feeling weak. “What’d you have for lunch, babe?”

Ashton thinks for a moment. “Um . . . nothing?”

“Same. Let’s get something to eat real quick.”

Luke trails behind them, pissed that Y/N isn’t going to tell Ashton anything besides ‘I was dehydrated’.

-

He skipped the after-party. He tucked himself in a cramped bunk, wrapping his arms around Y/N as she sleeps soundlessly against the tour bus wall. He’d rather she fell asleep on the couch or in his bunk -where there’s more room- but he didn’t bother trying to get her to move. She was asleep; she needed sleep. His legs tangle with hers under her great grandmother's handmade quilt, and even though she was sound asleep, she still shuffled towards her boyfriend for warmth and comfort.

Ashton’s fingers ran through her blue hair, calming the both of them. She rarely sleeps in her own bunk, as a result of Ashton’s being roomier than hers. Even though the bunks are the exact same size, his still seems bigger than hers. The mattress is missing the trademark scent of vanilla with undertones of his cologne. It’s uncomfortable for him. He stays, though.

They both dozed off for a while, with the tour bus lights still on. They wake up to pitch black and the snores of Michael Clifford. Y/N just settles her fingers between Ashton’s and stare at the top of the bunk for a little while. She’s thinking; overthinking.

How is she going to tell Ashton? More importantly, how is she going to manage everything? Money- she has to get some of that so she can live. However, Ashton stars a small hum to calm her racing heart, and she’s not stressing about it as much. Y/N’ll figure it out somehow, even if Ashton abandons her. She’d rather have Ashton with her through everything, but she knows it’s not possible.

“What are you thinking about?” Ashton whispers. He’s scared of waking the boys from their sleep, but he’s loud enough for Y/N to hear. That’s all he really cares about. He wants to speak to Y/N. Both of their internal clocks are screaming that it’s probably around four or five in the morning. They have an entire day on the bus, so who really cares about the time?

Y/N thinks up something quickly. “Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?”

Ashton gives her a low laugh. One that channels his morning voice with raspy undertones and deep giggles. Y/N loves the sound of Ashton’s morning voice. “That’s deep.” Ashton answers. “I’m not sure. It’s the same person.” Ashton pulls Y/N so close to his body, the only thing in between her shirt and his bare chest is one of her arms that’s playing with a damp curl in front of his eyes. Her other arm is going numb underneath the pillow beneath their heads. “What about you?”

Y/N continues to twirl the coiled blonde lock around her finger. “Same answer.” Ashton’s hands fall underneath Y/N’s shirt, right above the hem of her dinosaur underwear. To her, it feels like electricity coursing through her veins, but to him, it’s an absent-minded habit. She’s usually on the brink of sleep when his hands take their place underneath the back of her shirt. Y/N leans her head up for a small peck from Ashton. His lips grazed over hers once, twice, and a third time when she finally tucks her forehead into his neck. Her hand finds its way to the back of Ashton’s hair. “What’s your opinion of me?”

“You’re an amazing person, and I wouldn’t give you up for the world.” Ashton answers.

“Not that,” Y/N whispers. Ashton’s ears have to try their hardest to hear her speak. “Do you actually . . . do you actually like-”

“-Do I actually love you?”

“ . . . Yeah,”

“Y/N,” Ashton murmurs. His hands remove themselves from her back to pull her from his neck. He brushes past her cheekbones, feeling damp trails of tears that ended on the collar of her shirt. He wipes the pathways of emotion and kisses her once. “I would do anything for you. I would give up all of my fame, my talent, my whole life for you.”

“You’re just taking it too far now,” there’s no type of hilarity or joking in Y/N’s voice. Just pain and raw feelings that she wishes never started. She knows Ashton loves her- but is she really sure?

“No, I’m not,” Ashton pulls the small girl close to him again. “You’re all I think about, all the time. You’re all I ever wanted in life. Every time I sit down behind a drum kit, I imagine you cheering me on and joking around. Whenever I sing, I think of how excited you get on top of my shoulders while I scream a stupid song about pizza. You’re the stars to my galaxy- the Michael to my pizza. Luke told me he wasn’t even sure I had dimples until I met you. I love you so much.”

“No, you don’t,” Y/N forces. Her throat starts to tighten like a barbwire fence is strangling her. She wants to believe everything Ashton’s telling her, but her mind won't allow it. “The fans-”

“-Are jealous! They’re jealous of you because you’re friends with three of the most precious people in the world, and you’re dating somebody famous. People get jealous, it’s normal. They’re taking it out on you in a terrible way, and I wish they’d stop,”

“But what if it’s true?”

“It’s not.”

“What if I’m bad for you?”

“You’re not bad for me.”

“Yes, I am.”

“If you were bad for me, then I wouldn’t have fallen in love-”

“-You didn’t fall in love with me.”

“You’re right,” Ashton clears his throat. “You fucking tripped me with your damn Converse, and deep eyes, and bright blue hair, and the most beautiful body I have ever seen.” Y/N tries to coil her body up to hide a sob. “How about we go watch a movie? The Nightmare Before Christmas? You love that movie.”

Y/N shrugs. “You don’t want to.”

“Yes, I do!”

Y/N shakes her head.

“There’s some Cheez-Its and chips in the cabinet. I’m pretty sure we also have coffee, and Peace Tea, and . . . there are some Naked smoothies.” Ashton just wants to distract Y/N’s mind from racing. He’ll do anything to make her feel better.

“I’m gaining weight.”

“And?”

“My jeans don’t fit anymore.”

“We’ll go to the mall when we stop for dinner.” Y/N doesn’t reply. “So . . . The Nightmare Before Christmas?”

Everybody woke up a few hours later to Ashton and Y/N laying on the couch with a blanket engulfing their sleeping bodies. Y/N, laying on top of Ashton, her head laying underneath his chin, still was stressing in her sleep.

-

“Baby Girl,” Ashton whispers, brushing Y/N’s hair from her face. Michael and Luke stir from their sleep on the round couch, underneath Y/N’s long body. Ashton couldn’t sleep after sleeping for several hours during the day, but Y/N just wanted to rest more than she could imagine, which happened to be on top of three boys at once. Her head rests mostly in Ashton’s lap, but she still sprawled herself along over Ashton’s bandmates. “Wake up.”

“No,” Y/N whispers. Her hands shield her eyes from the setting sky glowing behind her. “I want more sleep.” Her body coils in a little bit more, gathering the blanket along her bare legs. Though, she’s uncomfortable, so she tries to stretch her body. “Uncomfortable.”

“You’ve slept for almost twenty-four hours,”

“Then let me sleep for twenty-five.” She tries to close her eyes, but her body responds by shoving adrenaline through her veins. Before she can try to fall back into a peaceful, and uncomfortable state of slumber, she wants to get up and have fun. Run everywhere; eat food; watch TV. “Where are we?”

“Cali,”

“Why did you wake me up?”

Ashton shrugs. He stares at the TV, dodging her question. Unknowingly to each other, they’re planning a surprise for the other in the next twenty-four hours. Liz knows both surprises and has vowed to keep both of them a secret from everyone; Luke and Calum know minor details about Y/N’s surprise, and Calum and Michael know privy details to Ashton’s. Somehow, with that formula, the secrets are kept. “I’m hungry, and you’re on me.”

Y/N sits up. She looks where her legs are laying- where Luke and Michael are curled up together, asleep. “Where’s Calum?”

“No clue,” Ashton stretches his body. The oldest band member feels like he hasn’t moved from that exact spot in forever. He’s had to pee for the last hour, but he knew how worn out Y/N was. He suffered through a full bladder for the girl he loves. Jesus Christ, he’s so in love with the blue-haired beauty. The one with such a precious skin tone and complexion he swears she’s one-in-seven-billion; the one with glassy eyes that’ll shatter at the wrong word, but cut a bitch at the right; the one with such a perfect body he doesn’t know how she’s real. “You still want to stop at the mall and get some clothes?”

“Sure,” Y/N shrugs. She’s trying to play it down, but in all seriousness, she needs to go to the small. Liz and Y/N have Y/N’s surprise planned out. Liz will get the things, and Y/N will pay her back. “How long until we’re in the city?”

“Not long,” Ashton looks back at the blank interstate. “Probably long enough to get ready and shit.”

“I have an idea that we should do,” Y/N blatantly says, blurting out what she had been thinking about for the last few hours. She explains how all six of them should get shirts with their last names printed on the back, with their birth year right underneath. As a jersey, Y/N described to Ashton.

Ashton nods, pretending that Y/N hadn’t told him about that when she woke up earlier. He made plans with Liz to alter something small in Y/N’s plan. “So I’d be Irwin 94?”

“Yeah.” Y/N agrees. Ashton’s girlfriend tells him how her shirt would be, and he admires her speaking about her birth year and last name on a shirt. “We could wear it to the show tomorrow and take photos.” Ashton nods. “You guys already told the fans that you’d dress up for Halloween, so you could go as yourselves.”

“Or we could go as each other.”

“You could go as a drummer!”

“You could be the drummers' girlfriend.”

Y/N giggles. “I’m not going on stage. Dehydration, remember?”

Ashton waves his hand. “Whatever, freak.” Y/N gives her boyfriend a quick peck on the lips. His lips are soft against hers, but his calloused hands feel rough along her jawline. “Drink water. You’ll be fine.”

The tour bus docked in a Santa Cruz hotel as the sun landed on the other side of the world. Ashton carried his sleepy girlfriend from the bunks to the room that Michael elected to share with them. Every time they’re in a hotel, the boys decide who are sharing a room with who. Ashton pays Michael ten dollars to carry Y/N and his bags to the room. He set Y/N down on the uncomfortable bed and flicked the lights on.

“No!” Y/N yelled, stirring from yet again another nap. At this point, she isn’t going to sleep a wink the entire night. That’s probably a good thing. “Sleep, baby!”

“Are you hungry?” Ashton asked, checking the whole room. When you first walk in there’s a closet on the left and a kitchenette on the right. He walked from the closet towards the TV and pull-out couch where Michael discarded most of the bags. Along the side of the couch was a hallway leading to a secluded room with two beds, with a stop to the bathroom along the right side of the hallway.

“Very,” Y/N struggled to say through the muffling of her pillow. “What’s for dinner?”

“The boys and I had an idea to go to the boardwalk!” Ashton called, continuing to inspect the place. “We could all get dressed up and go or something.”

“I am not dressing up to go to the boardwalk!”

Michael laughed at Ashton’s sigh. This is his plan- to get his girlfriend to the Santa Cruz beach, and there he’ll give her the -second- biggest surprise of her life. It’s a scavenger hunt type of deal, but without the long hunt for different clues. He’ll ditch her after dinner with one of the boys, and give her little hints to get her around the boardwalk and away from the beach. Then, he’ll have Calum give Y/N the last clue that’ll lead her the Ashton. “Please?” Ashton whined.

“No!” Y/N yawned. “I want to sleep!”

“I’m going to go find Luke,” Michael quickly said before disappearing out of the hotel room. Ashton rolled his eyes.

“Please?”

“No!”

“I’ll buy you a smoothie!”

“No!”

Ashton started his trek to the bedroom. Y/N was absolutely precious with her head buried in the pillow, and a large bun on the crown of her skull. She doesn’t have to dress up in a toga with lengthy curls. Ashton just wants her in something that’s not a raggedy grey shirt and volleyball shorts. “Please, baby girl?”

“I want to go to sleep!”

The mattress dipped down when Ashton sat right next to her. “Please? We could go get your favorite food, and then ride some rides.” Ashton brushed a stray hair from Y/N’s neck. “You could shower beforehand, and then get some comfy clothes on, then get some food. We don’t have to be out for that long.”

“I’m not riding a rollercoaster.” Y/N replied. Ashton smiled, knowing that he’s getting his way.

Y/N took a short shower, dried her hair, and put minimal makeup on before dragging Ashton from the hotel room. She sat in the back of the car, next to Ashton, energized after having a long nap. Surprisingly, Y/N can fit into Luke’s skinny jeans. Don’t ask how they figured that out.

They ate a somewhat-decent dinner at their favorite restaurant, then walked around the nearest mall to burn the abnormal amount of calories they had all consumed. Liz picked up the shirt order Y/N and the boys called in. Y/N bought herself a pair of jeans and jean shorts that fit her body correctly and changed into them as quickly as she could. Ashton couldn’t stop drooling over the sight of Y/N in a pair of pale jean shorts and a form-fitting off-the-shoulder top that revealed more of her belly than it covered. How could anybody resist the absolute perfection named Y/N?

“Where’s Ash?” Y/N asked, stepping into the remaining 5 Seconds Of Summer boys conversation. She turned away for a bottle of water, and when she was back, Ashton had already walked away. She didn’t know that he had a plan in place.

“Doing something,” Luke snapped. His eyes narrowed at Y/N. Ashton recommended that Luke be a little bit harsh and now let Y/N suspect what Ashton had been doing, but Luke disregarded adding grim into his tone, as he was already pissed about Y/N not telling Ashton her own secret. “Here.” Luke shoved a card-sized envelope to Y/N. “He has a stupid surprise. We’re supposed to help.”

Y/N grabbed the envelope and opened it up carefully. Inside was twenty-dollars and a note. ‘What was Calum in the Hey Everybody video? -A’

“Easy,” Y/N laughed. She snorted a little bit. “He was a dog walker.”

“Then that’s where we go,” Calum shrugged. “Wait are we getting a dog? Please tell me we’re getting a dog!”

“Yeah, Cal,” Michael patted his younger friend on the back. “We’re not getting a dog.”

The walk to the nearest animal store was short, as Ashton had planned. Y/N almost had a heart attack when she was overpowered with kisses and sniffs coming from puppies as she continued to walk. From the animal store, you could see the beach laid out perfectly. Luke distracted Y/N before she’d notice what Ashton was formulating.

“Look!” Luke pointed to a bulldog-terrier puppy laying on top of a pillow. “I’m going to get a dog one day. Cutest shit I’ve ever seen.”

Y/N giggled and reached into the cage to pet the pup. The puppy reacted immediately, perking up at her soft touch. Licking and nibbling on her fingers, the puppy bonded with Ashton’s girlfriend perfectly. Though, they’re not allowed to have dogs on tour. Y/N noticed another envelope tucked near the cage. “Is that one?” Michael nodded and reached down to grab it. He handed it to Y/N who took almost no time at all to rip it open. “We may not have printed our hands in the pavement, but we painted our hands on each other.” Y/N read aloud. “Where we did the photoshoot with handprints. That was . . . “ Y/N tried to recall a few years earlier when she and the boys attacked each other with blue and pink handprints on the Santa Cruz boardwalk. “. . . I don’t remember.”

“That was near the rides, right?” Michael asked. Y/N nodded, remembering the face painting booth behind the photographer. “Does he keep giving you money?” Y/n nodded and pocketed another twenty.

Michael, Calum, and Luke followed Y/N to where she tried to recall having the photoshoot. The exact location photos had been taken. Her hands absentmindedly covered her small belly.

“When are you going to tell him?” Luke poked. He gave the other boys a look that told them not to question anything.

“Soon.” Y/N bit. She didn’t want to tell Ashton anything about it, but she knew she had to before she fainted once more. Since then, Ashton has been practically forcing her to drink a cup of water every hour. She can’t get away with dehydration again. “Wasn’t it here?” Y/N looked around for another package. She spotted the white envelope sticking in between boards. She tore it open again, depositing trash in Luke’s hands. Without thinking, the twenty went into her pocket again. ‘They cut through the sky like angels can fly-A’, Y/N read. “What the hell airport is around here?”

“What?” Luke asked. He took the card from Y/N to read it. “Isn’t there a model shop around here? They have like trains and airplanes and shit?”

Michael pulled the boardwalk map from his back pocket. “Yeah, just around the corner.” His finger pressed the map in place of an airplane.

Y/N lead them there, not even walking inside before noticing the envelope sitting in the grass. She went through the same routine of ripping it open and depositing the cash. “All it says is ‘one foot in the golden life, one foot in the’ blank. What the fuck?”

“The gutter, idiot,” said Luke. He snapped her attention towards a gutter just inches away, with a folded envelope spewing out of it. He grabbed the trash from that envelope also.

‘Nice one, right? Now I’m lost in the ___ of your sorry eyes-A’

“Let’s go to the beach, boys!” Y/N announced. She went in the direction of an empty part of the beach, trying to spot another envelope.

Sand fell into Converse and salt was already nipping in their skin and hair. She had to find that envelope, though. Even if she didn’t want to come out originally, she was enjoying the fun game from her boyfriend. Y/N forced the boys to help search the sand with her for a single envelope. It was like finding a needle in a haystack . . . until Calum pulled it from his jacket pocket.

“Sorry, dear,” Calum laughed. He handed her the envelope and she began the routine again.

‘Making all of our plans in the Santa Cruz sand that night-A’

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Y/N complained. She ran a hand through her dry hair to push the artificial curls from her face. She had to think. What the hell does this mean?

“No, it doesn’t,” A voice spoke up. She turned around to her smiling soon-to-be-more boyfriend. “Why don’t we make plans in the Santa Cruz sand tonight?”

“What?”

Ashton got on one knee, pulling a black velvet box from his closed fist. The box opened to the most beautiful ring Y/N had ever seen; a silver band with a single diamond in the middle of a small rose. On the right side of the rose, sitting on the band, was Y/N’s birthstone, and on the left side of the rose was Ashton’s. “I’ve loved you since the day I met you. You’re everything to me, and I would give up my whole life for you. I’m wrapped so far around your finger, that we’re making plans in the Santa Cruz sand.” Luke face-palmed when Ashton referenced their song. “Will you marry me?”

As Y/N picked up the ring and slid it onto her finger, Liz Hemmings snapped a photo of the smiling, blue-haired girl.

-

“Mrs. Ashton Irwin, huh?” Ashton asks, hugging Y/N from behind. He places his hands on her growing belly and nuzzles his head into her neck. Their shirts match; Irwin wrote on the back, right above their birth years like a jersey. Liz, the boys, and Y/N are all wearing their black shirts with their last names and birth years, with their choice of pants. Ashton drools when he sees how tight Y/N’s high waisted, dark wash jeans are on her ass. “I like the ring- of the name and the actual ring.”

“Uh hu,” Y/N confirms, admiring the sparkly rock on her finger. She glances at Ashton in the dressing room mirror, feeling a bit scared of the show- or rather what she’s planning on doing during the show. “Your bandana is crooked.”

“Huh?” Ashton looked in the mirror. Y/N smiles when he realizes that his bandana isn’t crooked, and she’s lying. “You’re a dork.” He nuzzled himself into her neck again. Their bandanas are the same; white and tied over their curls. Y/N chose some stray hairs that wouldn’t be pulled back behind the bandana, and tied it underneath her mess of curls; she helped Ashton perfect he's just like hers. Couple goals, right?

“Are you nervous?” Y/N studies her engagement ring again. There are two other spots for stones, and Y/N wonders if Ashton realizes that. Maybe she could add their children’s birthstones to the ring and make it better than it was before.

“Little bit,” Ashton chuckles. “Are you?”

“Nope,” Y/N lies. They both know she’s fibbing; she can feel her heartbeat in her ears, ringing louder than Ashton’s drums. Ashton can feel her heartbeat every place that his skin is touching. Except, Ashton doesn’t know what she’s freaking out about. It’s just another show, and if she doesn’t want to be on stage then she can just say so. “You only have a few more minutes.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you think you should head backstage?”

Ashton shakes his head, not moving his feet any closer to the stage. “I just want to stay here for a few more minutes.”

“Baby, you know that you can’t.” Y/N lays her hands over Ashton’s. “You have fans that you love and want to impress.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ashton takes a deep breath and lets go of Y/N. “Do you still want to go on stage?” Y/N nods. “Michael Wants Another Slice?” She nods again. Ashton gives her a quick kiss and begins his journey to the door. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Y/N watches the show from the wings, right beside Liz. Liz tries to make small talk with the shaking girl, but Y/N gives only short, sporadic answers that don’t contribute to anything. Every few minutes, she checks to make sure the piece of fabric in her back pocket is still there; Y/N worries constantly that it will fall out and she’ll lose it. Ashton notices that Y/N is more nervous than normal, so he tries to ask if she’s okay with his seven drumstick twirls. She whispers into the earpiece that she loves him, and makes a heart with her hands. Y/N doesn’t break the heart like she wants to.

“And here we go!” Michael screams into the microphone. “We’ve got someone to introduce to you!”

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart,” Liz says into Y/N’s ear, giving her a quick hug. Y/N hasn’t been with her mom in a while, and feeling a hug from Liz makes tears begin to form in Y/N’s tear ducts. Y/N pulls away quickly and wipes her eyes. “I promise. It will be okay.” Liz’s thumbs brush the eyeliner Y/N missed. Y/N struggles not to crumble under the feeling. “Now go out there, and be Y/N.” Y/N nods.

“Welcome to the stage” Michael screams. “Future Mrs. Irwin!”

The crowd screams and Y/N walked onto the stage. She pretends to shy away from the crowd a little bit before jumping and turning at once. The crowd screams at IRWIN printed across her back in bold white letters. The mic tucked into her hand makes its way to her mouth. “What is up, my dudes?”

The crowd screamed.

“So I guess we all know what song is next, right?” Ashton says into his microphone. John Feltmann walks onto the stage, yearning for Ashton’s position at the drums. Ashton takes the chance and pops up from his drum kit and runs his way, sassily, to his fiance. Y/N smiles in a haze when Ashton wraps a sweaty arm around her. “So we got Miss Y/N Irwin right here. What do you guys think?”

The crowd screams incoherent responses.

“So, Michael Wants Another Slice, right?” Ashton asks.

Luke looks at Y/N and she knows what he wants. That’s the moment Y/N needs to speak up. Though, she’s suffocating. Nothing feels correct; everything is spinning around her. More than anything, she wants to curl up into a ball and die right on the spot. She wants Ashton to forget her, along with the boys, and everyone that’s ever met her. Luke plays a few notes from Michael Wants Another Slice and stares at her.

Speak, Y/N speak!

“Actually,” Y/N chokes out. “I have a surprise for Ashton!”

Ashton leans into the mic. “Really? Are you proposing to me?”

Y/N giggles, grabbing the cloth from her back pocket. “No, baby, but you wish,” With severely shaking hands, she unravels a black onesie with ‘BABY IRWIN’ and the estimated due date printed on the back. She shields Ashton from it, showing it to the crowd first. They take it all in; all you can hear from the crowd is a gasp. “I wasn’t that dehydrated, Ash,” She turns to her boyfriend, ready to cry. “But are a dad.”

-

Request here

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X03 - Quite a Common Fairy

Well, I’m FAIRY certain we’re in for a good time today, and I hope you’ll agree!

(That pun works in two ways. I’m proud.)

And if you want to hear my non-pun thoughts, meet me below the cut! (Though who would ever want to read thoughts that don’t come in pun form? Those who do are not to be trusted!)

Press Release

In their continuing quest to find Peter Pan’s hideout and save Henry, Hook suggests tracking down Tinker Bell in the hope that she will lead them straight to his camp. Pan reveals to Henry why he has brought him to Neverland and in the Enchanted Forest, Neal has a plan that could transport him to Emma, but it would involve using one of Robin Hood’s most precious possessions. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, Tinker Bell offers to help Regina improve her life.

General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

So I like how Regina’s air has really changed in the opening of the flashback. The flashback before this, from what I gather, is “The Doctor” and you can see how the murder she committed there has affected her after the fact. It’s clearly darkened her, as depicted by the way Lana plays it (Her voice and posture, specifically), but what I like is how that affected her. She doesn’t want to be evil and takes a step back to see what she wants.

”He’s dead and I suffered. What you sent me towards wasn’t going to change that.” This line is fantastic because Regina’s right in a way. Meeting something new won’t change the hurt she’s already felt and is likely still feeling over Daniel’s death. That said, it’s appropriately framed as something she absolutely needed to do for her own sake. While the past can’t be changed, there can be a good future if you allow for it to come to pass.

“I no longer believe in you.” I still hold onto my headcanon about Blue not necessarily being evil, BUT by being such a bureaucrat, she sort of became a villain in her own right. Tink, Nova, Dreamy, and countless others all have their hearts in the right place and Blue just can’t (Or won’t) bend the rules to help them. While not completely devoid of redeemability, I can’t fault anyone for hating her. Her character is incredibly annoying, not at all a paragon or even an inspiration of goodness. She’s a Rubix Cube and finding out what circumstances will allow her to give one magic and advice is a puzzle (And not even a fun one). She’s also not especially engaging on other levels, making her importance in the series something of a dead weight.

Neverland

You really see how dark Neverland has turned Tinker Bell. From the costume design to her more flight-or-fight mannerisms portrayed in Rose’s performance, Tink’s character in Neverland is almost unrecognizable here to what we see in the flashback. It’s incredibly effective in showing the consequences of Regina’s decision. I love her wild eyes.

What an amazing episode for Regina! Her characterization here was simply fantastic. The episode doesn’t playing around with the fact that Regina...well, she’s not the greatest person in the world just yet. She eggs Tinker Bell on and makes snippy comments. But her choices are improving and that happens in a natural way. Her test to Tinker Bell is harsh, but Regina does it in a way only Regina would do. The way she challenges Tink’s potential to do bad is effective in showing how she still believes in her, making the tepid resolution they settle on work.

Enchanted Forest

“So because I know what it’s like to lose family, I should risk mine?” This sentiment honestly holds true in this segment so strongly. I get Neal’s frustration, but he is risking a four year old’s safety. The good thing is that it’s framed to give exactly the feelings that it solicits and Neal’s speeches do help a lot with the balance of sympathy. While I didn’t like Neal basically guilting Robin into using Roland to summon the shadow, it does make sense as a desperate move needed for him as a father. I do wish for that reason though that the speeches were more about Henry specifically. It would make the main conflict more of a relation to a father and his son, strengthening his bond with Robin. That said, the discussion of romance was nice and it did give way to Mulan’s storyline.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-David, get over your fucking machismo! You literally JUST got poisoned because of it!

-Fuck! A moving map! Pan is dastardly as all hell!

-Who doesn’t like apples?” “It’s a family thing.” Oh come on, Henry! I’m sure they’d be the APPLE of your eye if you just APPLE-y yourself and eat one! XD

-I like how Neal demonstrates the cleverness that helped him survive in Neverland and eventually escape through his deductions with Mulan. It’s a very logical process.

-ROLAND!!! BABY ROLAND! FIRST APPEARANCE! BEST EPISODE EVER!!! AWWWWW!

-Seriously, the casting department found the single most adorable kid in the world to be Roland!

-Neal...are you sure this is a good idea? He’s a baby, Neal.

-Not gonna lie, I’d try roast swan.

-”I’m the queen, but I’m practically a prisoner with a husband whose heart is still with his dead wife, and his insipid daughter.” Regina’s dynamic with Leopold, while undeniably abusive to her, fascinates me. This line makes me wonder if she has tried falling for Leopold and to a degree, succeeded. She’s bothered by Leopold still only holding feelings for his dead wife and being stuck in that position and I’m not sure if the next scene either strengthens this mindset or diminishes it.

-Rumple analogy of the diner and the feast is very interesting to me. It plays the darkness off as something predatory, more of a hunter than something to be sought. It makes sense because Rumple kind of did get stolen by the darkness in that he was unprepared to have to take it on and the consequences of that choice.

-I really appreciate that at least one of the fairies is actively acting as a suicide hotline!

-”But, if I had, here’s to good reasons.” That’s...really fucking dark!

-”It is possible to find love again.” I love this sentiment. Once can never rule out the possibility of new love! <3

-*Henry attempts to shoot Pan in the fucking chest* What a badass!!!

-*Goes to the fairies’ den* Show, you cannot throw that many colors at me AND spin! Talk about sensory overload!

-”My name isn’t green. It’s Tinker Bell.” So fairies have names. What’s Blue’s?

-Blue! Who died and put you in control of the fairies?! Because they were kind of an idiot!

-”Are you out of your mind? He’s four years old!” My sentiments exactly, Robin!

-”What did you do to her?” That line was delivered flawlessly! It’s so chill and it cracks me the fuck up.

-”Operation Henry.” Awwwwww!!!!!

-”Does anyone really own pixie dust?” “The fairies are quite proprietary about it.” Fairies are dicks. Or really, just Blue.

-”The beginning of your happiness.” I really applaud the carefulness of the show with lines like these. Robin isn’t the sole component of her Regina’s happy ending, but he is still part of it.

-I honestly forgot there was a standoff here between Tink and Regina and was thusly as shocked as the audience probably originally was!

-”A complicated history. That’s quite a diplomatic way of describing it.” Well, she is a queen and a bit more refined!

-How was there never an episode called “The Man with the Lion Tattoo?”

-You can see how well Lana plays Regina’s goodbye to Tinker Bell in the flashback. She starts out scared (As Tinker Bell suspected) and hesitant, but you see her Evil Queen persona come in, pulling off a wicked goodbye to ensure that she leaves.

-Blue, you are just the worst.

- “It’s too late for me.” ”Only if you kill me.” I wouldn’t even say that’s the point of no return. Half the people who came to Neverland have killed tons.

-Part of why I love season 3 is I love seeing groups strategize and work together and the payoff that comes with it. It’s such a satisfying sensation.

-So I love how Tink was so clearly gamed for tracking down for Regina but had NO idea about her companions! XD

-Felix says “Baelfire” so freakin’ creepily.

-You didn’t just ruin your life. You ruined his.” I actually hate this line. Robin’s life wasn’t ruined. Derailed, perhaps, but he was genuinely in love with Marian and Roland is the most precious child in the world!

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - This arc is moving so smoothly along! So far, every episode has progressed this in a natural way that still feels like a lot of progress was made and here is no exception. There’s a real momentum to this season and it’s chugging along well. I feel like we’re taking a big step forward and it’s making for quite the nice walk.

Regina’s Redemption - Regina’s redemption this season is progressing also quite smoothly! Here, she’s a mix of herself -- kind of an asshole at times, but focused and genuinely trying to do better. I feel like Regina’s redemption is starting to come into its own here. It makes sense that there was some turbulence in late Season 2, and now, it’s more settled, making the growth more gradual and at the same time, quick.

Emma Accepting Her Parents - We only get a brief bit of this while exploring Tink’s pad, but it’s incredibly effective to help further bridge the gap between Emma and Snow. Lack, whether it be family or material possessions, is such a big component of Emma’s pre-Storybrooke life and to see how Snow dealt with that in the past was a clever move!

Favorite Dynamic

Emma and Regina. “So what did you do to her?” First and foremost, this line just cracks me in the casual way it’s brought up. Emma’s casual shrug and drinking-buddy tone is honestly funny. But continuing on, Emma and Regina share an amazing scene together. Both ladies have this genuine moment of kindness, all the while completely staying in character. It’s not overly friendly, but it’s friendly enough and focused enough to be believable and powerful at the same time. It also says so much about Regina. Regina’s throwing herself in danger and risking never seeing her son again and so quickly defaults to Emma taking care of him and saving him. It’s really meaningful!

Writer

Jane Espenson is up for her first episode of Season 3, and she does an incredible job here. The writing is smooth. Any episode that has three plots across three different realms has the challenge of balancing and weighing screen time and Jane makes the whole episode feel as smooth as peanut butter. It’s also smooth in the respect that this episode requires the characters to make bold choices and take hard chances (Ex. Regina letting Tink take her, Robin letting Neal use Roland to summon the shadow) and she makes the dialogue work for her so that these decisions don’t feel too harsh on the audience. That’s an admirable trait.

Rating

10/10. This was a really enjoyable episode. Tinker Bell’s introduction and Regina’s character development is great! It’s enjoyable seeing more of the characters working together and getting closer to finding Henry. I used the word “smooth” a lot in this review, and that’s because it’s honestly true. This whole episode feels smooth, from its development to its storytelling, it feels like driving on a freshly paved road, and given the broad strokes of what happened here that wasn’t an easy thing to do.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - Regina’s definitely getting those CS feels!!! And why wouldn’t she when there’s a COCONUT sharing between these two?!

Outlaw Queen - It’s interesting that the music playing in the background as Regina sees Robin’s tattoo is something akin to the wedding march. A lot of the same notes are hit, though it’s not a 1:1.

Swan Fire - Neal’s regret in his speech is really heartwarming! He wants so badly to get back together and make things right.

Sleeping Warrior - *Starts crying from the unrequited feels like a baby who just had their candy stolen*

Swan Queen - As said before, I really like Emma and Regina’s scene together! There’s a growing sense of trust between them now and it adds a heartwarming undertone to the scene to the melancholy overtone of Regina splitting off from the group.

-----

Thank you for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales!!! <3

Next time, uggh, sorry for the tangent, but I can’t scratch my lotto ticket because I chewed my nails too much. Man, I really need to take care of this...nasty habit. ;)

See you guys then!

Season 3 Total (29/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (9/60) Kalinda Vazquez (10/40) Andrew Chambliss (10/50) Jane Espenson (10/30)

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