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lilytcyip · 5 years ago

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December 31st, 2019

1.3 tera v w/ rjin & ggao

1.4 cactus & la foret w/ jng

1.8 talked it out with jng ; tried to understand that if i were happy, what more could you ask for

1.11 cyns bday dinner

1.11 craft beer w/ aleung & lwong

1.13 arisu & standing egg with efeng & aleung ; drove on highway for the first time

1.18 west dineout w/ annie pkp

1.19 glass w/ fifi

2.10 first snow of the year

2.3 cny lunch at home with the fam - tong yuen & poon choi

2.4 mooseknuckles - grateful

2.5 lunar new year

2.16 hangiout with mamayip & sis: beta 5, fixing the parka, meetfresh, miku sushi dindin

2.17 mom leaving for 2 months, wandering earth with the yips

2.19 happy hour cactus w/ fifi

2.20 kokoro lunch & shopping w/ rjin

2.20 so hyang w/ veda & nwu

2.21 black been noodles & tonkatsu lunch & usagi matcha sweets w/ ewong

2.22 green leaf sushi & grounds for coffee w/ vtan

2.25 sushi mura w/ acao ; larry berg planes and kisses for the first time

3.13 mental health talk w/ nwu & tchiu + jamjar

3.15 virtuous pie & nanas green tea w/ rjin

3.16 wine night w/ claw, aleung & fsyal

3.17 tabom & stanely park w/ jerpilla

3.23 pool & rc shopping with jyang

4.3 studying with jyang on campus & langara bye

4.9 studying with jyang at my house

4.18 ramen danbo & official date

4.20 so hyang & off the grid waffles w/ ayip

4.26 sci ning off w/ aleung, claw, fsyal, lwong & mcheung

4.27 clay llama terra pot class

4.29 so hyang budae jjigae & yifang w/ ewong

4.30 rc shopping & sushi lover with the yips

5.1 maenam, kits beach & rain or shiine ice cream w/ rjin

5.2 our first little tiff & being called chubby by mlo

5.3 shopping w/ vchan, aleung & fsyal

5.7-5.11 LA trip

5.8 LACMA & melrose & century city field

5.9 warner bros tour

5.10 malibu

5.28-6.1 hokkaido, japan

5.29 a 2-floor hotel with own onsen

5.31 otaru food adventures

6.1 doraemon painting & royce airport

6.2 macau: got scammed by taxi & lost luggage

6.7-6.15 inner mongolia & beijing

6.18 first co op offer

6.21 fire port party at fifis house

6.29 pottery painting w lwong, aleung, vchan, fsyal

7.5 brunch w/ rjin at jethro’s fine grub, baker & table

7.6 nwu’s birthday dindin at coast, hangout with aleung & nwu at nightingale

7.14 leavenworth cherries

7.17 brunch w/ rjin at OEB

7.19 nightmarket w/ jyang, mlaw, rjin

7.21 beach day w/ aleung, fsyal & lwong; hy’s with fam

7.24 chau veggies w/ acao

7.27 shiok & icy bar w/ ewong

8.3 first day of work at doctors office

8.4 escape room w/ vchan, fsyal & jyang; bowling & anh and chi

8.17 dindin w/ fsyal, aleung & tlim; double date walks at olympic village with ancas

8.18 - 8.19 kelowna

8.18 polar grove & penticton lazy river, mission hill

8.19 kayaking, quail’s gate

8.24 lit night at fifis house with the girls and boys

8.25 aleung’s bday harrison trip

8.27 work shopping & nuba w/ fsyal

8.28 sleepover w/ rjin

8.29 brunch w/ aleung, moii cafe chill with fsyal too

9.3 first day of co op work

9.7 grave of the fireflies & wildtale cuddles

9.14 eric chou meet & greet

9.19 amandarachlee neg comment and posted my encouragement on her story

10.5 maiko parfait & shopping w/ jyang, earls with the amigos

10.18 gmen & oncecake: melody, rillakuma, card & collage

10.24 dark table w/ rjin

11.7 moii after work

12.15 baking custard souffle pancakes w/ ewong

12.18 office christmas party & bbt w/ slim

12.19 glow

12.21 fifi’s christmas party

12.22 christmas market w/ rjin: churros & chimney cake

12.23 psyc team secret santa & mahjong

12.25 christmas dindin at market by jean-georges

12.26 birthday dindin at zeferelli

12.27 ring & birthday dinner at brix and mortar w/ jyang

12.28 skated alone, worked out, baked & dindin at botanist

looking back at it now, i definitely went out a lot more compared to previous years LOL i had some struggles in january, and at multiple points in my life i blamed myself for being ungrateful, for seeking more when i already had so much in life compared to other people. my friends were there for me and i wouldnt have been able to live through it without them. then again, during reading break in february, i got myself into the same hot mess and i was sad about it for a week and i blamed myself for getting so attached so quickly. because of these experiences, my expectations were v low and i didnt really expect anything when i talked to jyang, what they say really is true, you get it the moment you stop seeking for it. it comes and find you (: the 3 most important that happened this year is burbur, co op job & me getting more comfortable around doggs; this is a big deal !! i actually like cuddling dogs and i feel less scared of them as long as i have some time to get used to them!! im proud of myself for making progress with my phobia! after i started my co op job, bc i didnt have a lot to do, i felt like i wasnt actively contributing to my workplace and that i was very useless. i still feel the same way now, but i think i am slowly getting used to it. thankfully, my coworkers are VERY nice and i enjoy working around them. while i did not get a different position for january, im still grateful that i got an extended placement. nonetheless, meeting with the different PIs and sumeet pointed me in the right direction of looking for nserc / volunteering opportunities when i do go back to school. AND ofc burbur! im grateful that we were able to be there for each other for the past 8 months, both the ups and downs and i am so so thankful that we’re understanding and patient with each other, as we help each other learn along the way and help each other become a better version of ourselves. this companionship is better than i have asked for and i always remind myself to focus on the important things rather than the minor inconveniences. this year, in terms of fitness goals, ive been doing really well before asia. but ever since i came back, it all went downhill and i gained back all the weight that i lost this year year LOL so in 2020, one of my biggest goal is to eat healthy again, and workout more consistently. getting a job in sept kinda interfered with my progress too, bc i was so tired after work, even when i wasnt doing anything and i stressed eat bc i felt terrible. a lot of diff factors made me feel super stressed, and the fact that i wasnt eating clean / exercising reguarly made me feel worse about the whole situation ): so in 2020, maintaining a healthy lifestyle will be one of my top priorities and gifting myself a healthy body is one of greatest things i can do for myself. this also contributed to the lack of journalling near the end of the year, it felt like bc i wasnt doing the things i was “supposed to do”, i just felt so bad whenever i couldnt tick off that particular habit whenever i fill in my trackers. but tonight, i watched this video and it talked about habits should be for awareness, not for self-hate or self-loathing. this is something that i need to keep in mind. ever since april really, the issue of leaving my house and meeting up with my friends have always stressed me in fear of dealing with passive aggressiveness with my mom lool everytime i get inviited to plans, i just get anxiety about having to tell her about it LOL and even when im out, having a msg/ call for her freaks me out in fear that she will get mad at me for being home late and etc and fifi really woke me up with her words, i should just care less LOL i need to stop caring so much about what she thinks, bc at the end of the day, this IS my life and if i never make any changes, i will never be able to grow and be independent. i think this pree much sums up all my events and emotions in 2019, the last year of the 2010s. in the next decade, a lot of things will happen as i will be in my 20s - 30s, where new opportunities will arise, and graduate uni, do my masters, find a job, maybe even marry and move out LOL the 2020s will definitely be an impt decade, but just for next year i want to:

1. understand that i am old enough to make choices, and in general, care less about what she thinks

2. at the same time, i want to appreciate and be grateful for what my mom, dad and annie have done for me; a lot of the times, i feel like i take them for granted just bc i know they will always be there for me and this is not how you should treat your biggest supporters

3. trust that everything will workout in the end, while you may not be able to envision what you career / life would be like when youre 30, you can definitely take small steps and move towards your goal

4. be mindful of what i eat and exercise regularly (4x hiit & cardio a week) ; treats & sweets in moderation; use those habit trackers for awareness, not for self-loathing / self-hate

5. create art regularly, read more and at least do 5 duolingos every week!

every year, time just seems to go by faster and faster and i feel scared at times. as i type this, theres only 8 minutes left of this decade LOL so in 2020, continue to live in the moment, be present, cherish those that are around you, and have faith that everything will come together, one piece at a time. at the same time, always rmb that you can make small changes to be a better version of yourself, whenever & however you want and this is the 1 thing that other people can’t stop you from doing!

#diary #personal #thoughts #last post of 2019

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ladyherenya · 6 years ago

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Books read in April

Holidays are an ideal time to find oneself with a pile of library books to read. The downside to having gone away with a pile of books is having too many books to write about afterwards.

I also reviewed the short stories I listened to: “Intro to Prom” and “Semiramis” by Genevieve Valentine, “The Shipmaker” by Aliette de Bodard and “When We Were Starless” by Simone Heller.

Favourite cover: Stand in the Sky!

Reread: Once again, didn’t get to the book I’d planned to reread.

Still reading: Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee.

Next up: Begin, End, Begin: A #LoveOzYa Anthology. A Thousand Sisters: The Heroic Airwomen of the Soviet Union in World War II by Elizabeth Wein. Maybe Ancestral Night by Elizabeth Bear.

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing. And also Dreamwidth.)

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (narrated by Elizabeth Acevedo): Seventeen year old Zuri Benitez is proud of her family, her Haitian-Dominican heritage and the community of her Brooklyn neighbourhood. She’s unimpressed by changes like gentrification or the wealthy Darcy family moving in across the street. This contemporary YA remix twists the events of P&P fit Zuri’s context, allowing the story explore cultural identity, class and dealing with change, and for Zuri’s relationship with Darius makes sense for 21st century teenagers. It’s a cute teen romance but most powerful as a love-letter to Zuri’s hood. The audiobook brought it to life even more vividly.

Stand on the Sky by Erin Bow: Achingly beautiful. It kept making me tear up because while it’s only sometimes sad -- while this is a hopeful and joyous story -- it captures twelve year old Aisulu’s emotions so intensely. When her older brother is taken to hospital, Aisulu is left behind with their herds and relatives and throws herself into raising an eaglet. A fascinating insight into nomadic Kazakhs living in Mongolia and into the challenges and the rewards of eagle-hunting. I love the prose, sense of place and characters; I love Aisulu’s relationships and the way this is her story -- her journey.

Song of the Current by Sarah Tolcser: Caro has grown up on the river with her father, a wherryman and a smuggler. She’s offered her first job in exchange for her father’s freedom -- to deliver a crate, unopened, to Valonikos. But when she opens the crate, its occupant has other ideas about their destination. This YA fantasy shines the strongest in the skills and knowledge Caro has about sailing and about river life. I enjoyed the rest, but some things happened a bit too quickly for me to feel invested.

Undying by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner: I wasn’t very enthusiastic about Unearthed but this sequel was a lot of fun to read. High-stakes and satisfying. There’s escaping and travelling across Europe incognito and trying to save the world. And it got to build upon what had previously been established, so there’s more nuance and it all felt more believable. After reading these authors’ other books, I was confident that everything would turn out okay. I’d have liked the ending more if the authors had surprised me and there had been a higher cost -- but this is a YA novel and teenage-me certainly wouldn’t have wanted that.

Cobalt Squadron by Elizabeth Wein (narrated by Kelly Marie Tran): I didn’t find The Last Jedi very satisfying but I’m a fan of Elizabeth Wein, so I listened to this story about a mission that Rose, her sister Paige and the rest of Cobalt Squadron are involved with. Knowing that the Tico sisters survive lessened the tension somewhat, but I liked getting to know them better. (I also know that Wein is capable of writing more complex and harrowing stories but that’s not what this one is aiming for.) The audiobook includes Star Wars music and sound effects. I’d love to see music and sound effects used in more audiobooks.

A Question of Holmes by Brittany Cavallaro: Charlotte Holmes and Jamie Watson are attending an Oxford summer program before they start university. Charlotte is asked to investigate a mystery involving the drama society. It’s a quieter mystery than the preceding ones but I am not going to complain about that. I’m happy to read about mysteries at Oxford! Towards the end Charlotte makes a decision which I thought needed to be foreshadowed better and then the epilogue rushed over some things, and I wasn’t totally satisfied. I also found Charlotte’s references to things like “fall”, even though she’s living back in the UK, jarring. Minor-ish quibbles?

The True Queen by Zen Cho: The companion to Sorcerer to the Crown. This took a while to hook me, but once the story got underway, I enjoyed guessing where it was all headed. It is a delightfully diverse Regency fantasy, with some satisfying twists. If I have any quibbles, it’s that I wanted a better resolution for something -- and maybe also just more of the ending? I don’t quite know... I didn’t spend much time analysing my reaction and it was now over half a dozen books ago.

Scorch Dragons by Amie Kaufman: In the sequel to Ice Wolves, 12 year old Anders and his twin sister find themselves on different sides of the conflict between wolves and dragons, but they work together with their friends to prevent a second war. The riddle-solving and questing for a hidden objects reminded me of Deltora Quest, which I enjoyed when I was Anders’ age. A very satisfying sort of adventure.

European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman by Theodora Goss (narrated by Kate Reading): In the sequel to The Strange Case of the Alchemist’s Daughter, Mary Jekyll and Justine Frankenstein set off for Europe to rescue Lucinda Van Helsing at the request of Mary’s former governess, Mina Murray, and receive help and hospitality from people like Irene Adler and Carmilla. I particularly enjoyed the Athena Club’s interjections and digressions in the narrative, and interactions with each other. They make a great team. Kate Reading does a great job with all the voices and accents, which made the story all the more engaging. Even at 1.5 speed (due to 20+ hours of audiobook to get through!) it was easy to keep track of who was speaking.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie: I liked it! It’s engaging, intriguing and doing some surprisingly-similar things to Ancillary Justice (which I loved), such as: a first-person narrator who neither human nor omnipotent but has greater awareness and abilities; an interesting use of pronouns -- Eolo’s actions are described in the second-person; and a story about the past eventually collides with the story about the present. I completely missed that this is ALSO themes and variations on Hamlet. That might explain why I found the ending incredibly satisfying for the first-person narrator but I was expecting something more from -- for? -- Eolo.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black: I borrowed this because it has a delightful map by Kathleen Jennings, it’s a finalist for the Lodestar Award, and I liked the last book I read by Black. It’s an interesting exploration of what it means to love terrible things, with a clear-sighted awareness of their flaws, but I spent most of the story thinking “I hate faeries” and wishing Jude could escape them. Then the plot did its thing, and I had to admit that this is a successful piece of storytelling, if still not quite my thing.

The Austen Playbook by Lucy Parker: Parker’s fourth romance about actors from the West End -- in which Freddy accepts the role of Lydia Bennet in The Austen Playbook, a televised, audience-interactive murder mystery theatre production -- is a lot of fun. Having an interesting setting and plot outside of the romance definitely enhances my enjoyment of the story. This had Jane Austen and Harry Potter references, rehearsal tensions, important family relationships, a mystery involving a (fictional) play, banter, and a lively actress and a grumpy theatre critic who are honest with each other.

The Place on Dalhousie by Melina Marchetta: This is about Jimmy Hailler (from Saving Francesca), now in his mid 20s. But it is equally about Rosie, who meets Jimmy in a Queensland town during a flood, Rosie’s stepmother Martha and the house built by Seb, Rosie’s late-father. It’s a powerfully moving story about grief, friendship and finding family. It’s shorter than Marchetta’s more-recent novels and I finished it feeling oddly disappointed, like it needed to be longer. Then I reread the book the following day, and reconsidered. I’d like more, certainly, but it is a satisfying story as it is.

From Clarkesworld Magazine, narrated by Kate Baker:

“Intro to Prom” by Genevieve Valentine (Issue 133): About four teenagers for whom prom is like a game they play, a way to pass the time. It is intriguing but bleak.

“Semiramis” by Genevieve Valentine (Issue 57): This is Valentine-ishly bleak and yet satisfyingly so?

The worst thing about being a sleeper embedded somewhere long-term was that inevitably, eventually, you started to care. The worst thing about being embedded long-term as an administrator at the Svalbard Seed Vault was that when you inevitably started to care, you started to care about things like proper political geo-temperate arrangement of seeds, and there was just no one else in their right mind who was going to care about that with you.

“The Shipmaker” by Aliette de Bodard (Issue 124): Set in the same universe as The Tea Master and the Detective. It is intriguing but sad, and I wonder if I’d appreciate it more if I read more of de Bodard’s stories and understood the context better.

“When We Were Starless” by Simone Heller (Issue 145): This has been nominated for the Hugo for Best Novelette and I can see why! It’s a hopeful story about survival, questioning what society teaches and finding a way to a better future. There’s also an AI with feelings.

Once, I might have felt out of place, an unwelcome disturbance. But I had left my fear of ghosts behind like an old skin a long time ago, and what I had found instead was the unforeseen, and sometimes pure beauty.

#Herenya reviews books #Melina Marchetta #Erin Bow #Elizabeth Wein #Lucy Parker #Amie Kaufman #Meagan Spooner #Ibi Zoboi #Sarah Tolcser #Brittany Cavallaro #Zen Cho #Theodora Goss #Ann Leckie #Holly Black #Genevieve Valentine #Aliette de Bodard #Simone Heller #Pride and Prejudice #Charlotte Holmes

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theretirementstory · 6 years ago

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Photo: A surprise visit by the Angels? Well at least it wasn’t Gabriel on his own! A New Year ………………...what a way to start it too! Monday saw me making mince pies and stuffing dates to go in the “foodie” gift I was taking for Monique and Jean-Claude on New Years Day. The weather was kind as I headed off for lunch on Tuesday. I knew I was in for a foodie surprise, we started with smoked salmon and prawns, then we had escargots (first time for me) not what I had expected and in a good way too. Another first was guinea fowl. My goodness how delicious was that! I really loved it so much I am going to cook some myself. After a quick cheese course it was time for dessert which consisted of oranges with cinnamon, a gorgeous Buche (coffee flavoured) and we all had a piece of the Christmas cake I had taken. We drank champagne and coffee. It was 7:40pm when I set away home, still glowing from the wonderful day I had spent with friends. I had a couple of quiet days after that, you know just the mundane things, paying the rent, getting the shopping, cooking meals, washing etc etc. Friday was going to be a busy day as my friend Marie-Therese was calling about 13.15 and Monique was picking me up at 14.15 to go to class. I was preparing food, typing out letters and preparing the lesson for class. Marie-Therese did not arrive, she messaged to say she would come at 17.00. Monique arrived earlier and we went off to class. Afterwards Monique came back to my home for a cup and tea and we were awaiting the arrival of Marie-Therese. Monique left and by 17.40 I was concerned because Marie-Therese had still not arrived. She did arrive at 18.15 she had been busy as she is getting a puppy at the beginning of February and had been talking to the owner and arranging a time to view etc. When she left I headed off to the bar to meet Robert, The Flying Dutchman. We had a couple of coffee’s and then Robert made his way to the Cinema and I headed home. I was minding my own business walking home when I suddenly heard a lot of voices and coming towards me were a group of about 8 men, this is not something I usually encounter on the way home. What a surprise, after greetings of Bonsoir, ca va and lots of handshaking it turned out they were a group of the refugee/immigrants that come to class. It is amazing for me to think that I can walk these streets, no matter what time of evening/night and I feel safe. I have only had a couple of times when I have walked along a street which has been deserted and I have noticed a person loitering in another street. On those occasions I have continued home via an alternative route to avoid putting myself into a possible situation. There is a young homeless man in town who likes his alcohol and drugs. I do not like meeting him in daylight so I would do everything I could to avoid him at night, however, he is only 1 person in a town of 5000+ inhabitants. Saturday morning saw me heading off to the bar at the Pomme d’Or to meet another friend. We had coffee and eau de vie (very nice) and a good long chat. She is a Dutch lady of advancing years, I really think she enjoys a quick break away from her husband, and having no family living near seems to have adopted me. I am hoping against hope that I am getting nearer to obtaining my Carte de Sejour. I have now composed a letter to send to the Prefecture with various documents, not least of which are the documents relating to my application as an EU citizen and not, as I fear this lady thinks, a person from Outer Mongolia! I am also going to complete a “duplicate copy” of my application to exchange my driving licence so that the man at the Sous-Prefecture in town can try and chase up this application. This was sent on the 24th April 2018 and I have heard nothing in the meantime. Apparently there is a backlog! A couple of bits of good news: the people who currently live in the flat above appear to be moving into the upstairs flat opposite. Why? I have no idea. What I do know is that at least I may be able to watch my tv without having to listen to them running up and downstairs or listen to their tumble dryer on its cycle. Perhaps for them it means that they don’t have to put up with my singing! Finally, on Friday, Monique asked me if I would like to go to stay in a gite in Alsace with her and Jean-Claude in the Spring. It would be for a week, and of course I said yes. I am busy thinking of the things I can make to take with us…...cooking a chicken (or guinea fowl) and taking salad so that there is something to eat when we arrive, a couple of homemade cakes………….. Bonne annee one and all. A bientot

#barsuraube #france #cudelchampagne #alsace #trees #architecture #nature #aube

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stone-man-warrior · 4 years ago

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April 15, 2021: 12:33 pm:

===============================================

Pfizer CEO is Trending on Twitter.

That can‘t be good, today is “Death & Taxes Day”, an annual event in USA.

https://twitter.com/search?q=%22Pfizer%20CEO%22&src=trend_click&vertical=trends

I have been trying to find some kind of connecting dots to the existence of vaccines for which there is no ailment necessary to cure, such as is the case of the so called COVID Vaccines, a strangely promoted competition of commercial brands for inoculation purposes, the likes of which have been necessary in the past, but never with so much emphasis on brand preference or product loyalty for the choice of which manufacturer of a drug an individual person may prefer,

So far:

Astra Xenica = Heroin

Johnson & Johnson = Cocaine

Remdesvir = A whore, brothel, call to kidnap women for use as sex slaves,

Sputnik = A trap, strong poison, a lie, lure, bait designed to lead investigative persons into dangerous conditions, bottlenecks, “Klein Bottle”. Sputnik is :”The Russian Whore”, is “the woman who lured Jesus to the crucifix and worked for Markus, is ‘Jesus Ol’ Lady’, only because she fooled him in league with Markus”

Moderna = A French Gibson Flying V Guitar, is not the real thing. is a French Ax ... a Guillotine.

So. now Pfizer is Trending.

I have inside information that may prove to apply to the Pfizer Vaccine set of terror commands, as follows:

There is a woman by the name of Paula Pfiefer. I believe she resides in Medford Oregon. I know that Paula Pfieifer is a SAGClubMed High Command General of the SDA terror army, Ms. Pfieifer has two important job descriptions.

She is a Lead Management Person at Medford Medical Clinic (as of 2014 last known date of association there).

Ms. Pfeifer is also a Lead Management Person of the Kaspersky Internet Security Software Products. The Kaspersky was part of the bundled software included with Sony Vaio Computers and other Sony products, and also was included standard on other computers of different manufacturers. The significance of the Sony Vaio is important, as the Vaio is one of only a few computers a person can buy that comes with a factory installed STEREO sound card. Macintosh and Sony Vaio are the only two computer manufacturers that I am aware of that offer a factory installed stereo sound card. You can buy and install aftermarket stereo sound cards, but to purchase a new computer that comes from the factory with stereo recording capabilities is very limited for choice, you can buy a Sony, or a Mac, those are the choices, and the Kaspersky comes with the Sony, and Paula Pfiefer comes with the Kaspersky, and Medford Medical Clinic (is now an Asante Health facility) also comes with the Kaspersky and Paula Pfeifer.

If you want to speak with Ms. Pfiefer, you need to pronounce her name in a coded way that only the insiders know of, you need to say: Pffffffiefer, and lay into the “Pfff” sound as you speak her name, otherwise, she will just fool you. Insiders say: “Ms. Pffffffffiefer” when they need to speak with the General.

I suspect the Pfizer Vaccine is going to be associated with SAGClubMed, the MedDems terror cells, Asante Health, and by extension to the “Pleasure Dome” in Medford (a secret, hidden underground experimental surgery center where kidnapped victims are made subject to horribly cruel surgical changes that render them unrecognizable as Human Beings after the procedures are complete, typical procedure time takes five years to complete, with multiple plastic surgery, amputations, and reattachment of limbs in places where they don’t belong. The “Partner Productions” are done at the “Pleasure Dome” by custom order of SAG members who want to order a custom built per pet person, made to their specifications.

That is what I think the Pfizer Vaccine is going to be connected to in some way, and to Paula Pfeifer, Sony Computer, and Kaspersky Internet Security Products.

Pfizer = a victim who has been selected, marked, as “Specimen”, to be captured, and taken to “The Pleasure Dome”.

The “Partner Specimens” need to be some of the strongest, healthiest people there are. The procedures they are subject to are absolutely brutal, and for that reason, only the very strongest of people survive the procedures. US Military personnel are said to be some of the most desirable “specimens” after they attend the boot camp, and some military training because of their ability to withstand the brutality of the procedures done at “The Pleasure Dome”.

The experimental procedures are such that arm length, leg length, and placement are changed on the victims. Other special considerations are custom ordered by the SAG members who want one, such as number of breasts, and where on the victims the breasts are attached surgically.

These sickening procedures are done as experiments to see what will work, and what will not work when the terror army is successful at achieving the goal of Global Domination. When they are successful, there will be “The Master Race” of SAG members and British House of Lords members. Those people are limited to about 500,000 world wide. Everyone else will attend “British Still” education and be subject to the horrible surgical procedures that render the victim to appear as they are not Human Beings, so, the victims will begin to undergo the surgeries from birth, and be changed, into a base of slave population to serve “The Master Race”. The procedures are designed to make ergonomically crafted humans, while the “British Still” education will teach them from birth that they are not Humans, but are a sub species put on earth to serve the “Master Race”

I have seen many “Partners” in my lifetime. The first one was in around 1984 in Thousand Oaks California, a young woman who said she had been kidnapped from a music concert, and was surgically changed, she looked more like an Afghan Hound than a Human being, and was kept in an attic of a residential house.

=================

2:48 pm:

Trending on Twitter terror high command:

https://twitter.com/i/events/1382675724260102144

The way I see it, everything you need to know about “Russia” can be described as a “Master set of lies, stacked, layered, established as truth, accepted as fact, indeed are lies”

There is no Russia.

The place we are told is Russia, is an imaginary place. If you wanted to go there, to Russia, you could conceivably get a commercial flight to “Russia”, however, when your plane lands, and then leaves, there you will be, in Mongolia. You may ask the locals “Which way to get to the Kremlin?” and they will laugh, and tell you “India” is where the Kremlin is at, this is Mongolia.”

It’s a one-way trip.

There are no Russians in Mongolia.

This is some practical information about “Russia” that can be used to solve problems if there are people who are in the business of protecting USA from terror takeover, and by extension, protect all of the world from slavery, and preserve freedom. I don‘t think such persons exist anymore.

Here is a link to a simple Bing Search that can help to get interested persons a starting point to learn more.

The character “ Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelensky, or Vladimir Aleksandrovich Zelenskiy, officially Zelenskyy” is a movie actor/producer.

That is really all you need to get started, he came to power recently, in 2019 just ahead of the Corona Virus Global Attack Roll Out.

Take that easy to find information and combine it with information that is more difficult to obtain, specially that Pharmaceuticals are among the top exports of Ukraine. Ukraine is a global leader of Pharmaceutical manufacture.

Zelensky is a movie actor/producer, and SAG members are movie actor/producers. Do math, and you can see the potential for a relationship between Hollywood DC, and Ukraine.

The relationship is a drug based one. While US DEA are busy looking at Columbia and Peru as drug sources, the real global suppliers are on the other side of the world, in Ukraine Hollywood.

Russia is a layered, stacked, established set of lies, one lie requires ten more lies to cover up the first one, and each of those require ten more lies for them to make sense, so, the Russian Mother of All Hoaxes is born of a series of lies, beginning with the day that Jesus was nailed to the cross, set up by his Ol’ Lady, and Markus. 2000 years of lies, all piled one over the other, an orgy of lies, is what Russia is.

The Russian Mother of all Hoaxes is laid out and controlled as a set of terms, phrases, points in history, locations and events by the British House of Lords leadership, and most likely is categorized by GCHQ of SIS, which is also Reuters news, and Google is a component of that MI6 SIS GCHQ, but with a Vatican centered stance. Amazon and Tesla also sit in the same position as does Google. The Russian Mother Hoax serves the British Global Domination advance as a set of command shell language that can be spoken in mainstream news, be accepted as truth, and advance an army at the same time, while maintaining credibility by fact checkers. 2000 years of lies, all kept track of, organized and searchable on the internet.

There is truth, however, in Mongolia, and Ukraine.

https://www.bing.com/search?form=MOZTSB&pc=MOZI&q=Ukraine+Zelinsky

I don‘t know where to begin to decode what the “SolarWinds” story may be truly about, so, let’s explore, starting with very simple details:

There was a computer hack: = Digital; Binary; On/Off; One/Two (in the terror comm, where there are “two”. lies an invisible “third”, so, “two = three” by default because of “Father, Son; Holy Spirit” rules to the terrorism. the “Holy Spirit” stays out of view but is ever present)

Solar = Sun; Ray; Heat; Life; Light...

Wind = The activity of movement when air moves from high pressure conditions due to expansion of the air from exposure to heat, to low pressure conditions.

Assessment:

There is some kind of on-line pressure driving Mr. Biden to make a move from a high pressure condition, to a more comfortable low pressure condition.

That is basically what is happening in the Biden camp.

=========================================

3:41 pm:

This outfit here, Constant Contact. is somehow associated to recent terror events. I see a connection to the Biden White House and Constant Contact advertising agency. The Constant Contact presence was first shown to me to be a major part in the terror with my last visit to Walmart, the connection extends to Walmart. I don’t want to say more at this time, as innocent people may be in danger if I elaborate about how I made the connection to Biden. Walmart, and advertising agency Constant Contact, so, you can do research on your own, or not, that is up to you. I will continue to look for specifics as to why, or how Constant Contact serves Walmart and the Biden White House, for now, specifics are a mystery but the connection is not a mystery.

The Walmart/White House/Constant Contact association I made was presented to me in email from music industry promotions, so, the music advertisers are also in the loop, that is very important for learning why the relationship exists between the groups mentioned.

https://www.constantcontact.com/?cc=MSN-115517&gclid=18af3de7bbfc1b2f96d05d9f7b54dbd6&gclsrc=3p.ds&msclkid=18af3de7bbfc1b2f96d05d9f7b54dbd6&pn=search&utm_campaign=PPC_BRAND_EMM_PERF_PROSP_PROSPECT_BRAND&utm_content=Brand&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=bing&utm_term=constant%20contact

=============

4:21 pm:

More about the attempts to check my mail yesterday:

As I reported, I mentioned possibility that the woman who was at the Monroe Offensive Surveillance Travel Trailer with two young men may have been Kate Brown.

now, I am more prepared to further say with increased confidence that indeed that was Kate Brown. The woman I saw, burst of nitrous oxide ignition when her internally holstered nitrous tank ruptured due to ignition of the gas. One of the two young men threw-up after he saw the woman’s guts come out of her belly. The woman sat in wicker chair that is near the trailer, after launching a short distance from the porch of the trailer. That all happened as the Nissan Quest van stopped momentarily in front of the Monroe residence. I was going to get my mail if my foot was feeling good enough to make the walk, and was on a trail in my woods in front of my house at the time. I saw the van stop at the mailboxes, then heard some people yelling from the Monroe trailer, saw the woman fly about fifty feet and land where the wicker chair is, she stood up. her guts were on the ground, so she picked them up and sat in that chair, that is when one of the young men ran to where there is a picnic table, and he threw-up there having been sickened by what he saw. “He must be new” I said out-loud as I saw the young man throw-up. At the time, I did not realize what was happening, as there was quite a lot going on around me, all of it was part of a plot to kill me, and there was a lot of poison gas in the air. I remember now seeing that woman pick her intestines up off of the ground, then sit down, then her intestines came out more. I have some low power binoculars, and used those to see that the woman looked like Kate Brown, and I heard Kate Brown‘s name mentioned at that time.

There was an attack inside my home that I did not report about two nights ago, as I was unable to see the person, who was wearing a “Pixel Suit” and struck my injured leg as I was having dinner, the intruder came in while I was cooking some food. That person was suspected of being Dan Brown, Kate’s husband. I don‘t recall fighting him. I do recall that my leg hurt, and I used some neo-sporin against my better judgment. The pain I was feeling may have been result of being hit in the wound area by Dan Brown that night.

There is so much nitrous oxide mixed with medazolam gas released around here, that I am amazed I can remember my own name. Fortunately, the memory of events does return later on after exposure a little bit if I try real hard to remember what happened.

Kate & Dan Brown came to kill me, that is what happened.

============================================

5:07 pm:

https://twitter.com/search?q=%22Pat%20Robertson%22&src=trend_click&vertical=trends

With an abundance of caution, a strong will to survive, and a lot of experience, I am going to say that the above Tweeted Trend is a command order from “On-High” to have Dereck Chauvan sent to Josephine County, to check in with local terror actors from Hollywood who run the Josephine County Jail and sheriff’s office, where he and some accomplices will be given keys to my house to come to kill me and take this Tumblr account down.

There are tunnels beneath the sheriff office and jail.

It’s happened many times before. Remember Eddie Galagher? He and his wife, and others came to kill me, they attacked me at the Walgreen‘s, it’s all documented here on this account. Eddie was killed in defense, I think his wife was the only one of the group who was not killed or injured badly. That was the same day when Megan Markle was also there as an observer, was inside of a big cardboard box on wheels, and put in a place where she could see what was going to happen there at the Walgreen‘s. It was the day after Harry Windsor attacked me at the Walmart with a sword, and I took the sword from him, and turned it around, Harry stumbled into the place where the video games are at in the front of the Walmart, and was treated with first aid right there while I walked passed and out of the store with my groceries paid for and bagged.

So, based on that, and other similar times when Twitter was used as a command post for sending assassins to my house, I am going to say that Dereck Chauvin is likely to come to Grants Pass by the end of April, for a hit ordered by US Government, and commanded on Twitter, with a news story from Pat Robertson.

Most of the Donald Trump Former Cabinet also came to kill me with the same kind of commands posted on Twitter. That is why so many of the Donald Trump cabinet became the “Former Cabinet”. They all failed. Kirstjen neilsen, Director of Department of Homeland Security was one of them, she followed me to the Walmart, then to the Burger King, where she drove up in an old black Ford truck, came into the restaurant, and stabbed me in the mouth with some kind of sharp needle, and my face was infected for a month after that, I defended though, and her wounds were lethal.

Real terrorism is not the kind that you can learn about from news media. Real terror comes from the US shill government, and the shill government officials are commanded by the news media as assassins. That is part of why the terror is so successful, they have it arranged where the celebrities are the murderers, and that is why no one believes what they can see for themselves, terror commanded from the six o’clock news.

=============================

5:43 pm:

Reminder:

I asked Joe Biden for help to stop the terrorism in Oregon, and throughout USA.

He sent this response from the White House, the request for help was received. acknowledged, and replied to.

You can see the request for help on my February 13 entry.

There is nothing fake about any of it.

no help has come. There are no signs of helpful people anywhere.

I sent to request for help when I overheard plans by the local terror cells that they were going to use horses to “Draw & Quarter” me. Maybe, had I not already seen people being drawn & quartered with horses, I would not have been so alarmed as to contact the president of USA to ask for help; but I have seen people drawn & quartered with horses, in fact, it happened in my front yard, on my property.

=================

6:20 pm:

Yesterday and the day before I was doing some decoding of the “Cup of Joe” as I wound up referring to it, where the “Pause” of the Johnson & Johnson so called “COVID Vaccine” seemed to somehow Co-inside with the news of the delayed withdrawal of US Troops from Afghanistan, the delay being from May 1, to September 11, in memory celebration, from the terror perspective, of the WTC attack.

I mentioned that presidential terror comm has three messages built into one set of comm language, and that I could see there were two messages, the third being illusive.

The two messages are too complicated to repeat here, you can read the lengthy information on yesterday’s entry and the previous day’s entry.

One of the terror coded messages simply was “Johnson & Johnson Vaccine = Cocaine” however, there is a lot more to it than a simple identifying announcement. I am optimistic that others who are better equipped will continue with exploring what I started with for those decodes.

I have the third, illusive part to the presidential terror comm about the J & J and the Afghanistan news story, as follows:

There was a “pause”.

There was a “Paw’s”.

There were “Father’s”, they are “The Paw’s”.

With that, add the cocaine, and you have “Sugar Daddy’s”.

We could take that into the realm of sex and a place where a “comfort person” could find a place to stay, and money to survive, the regular street definition of Sugar Daddy is someone who will pay the living costs for a personal friend in exchange for sexual favors.

I see that there could be more to it than that.

Third Amendment.

Perhaps, the “Sugar Daddy Cocaine Johnson & Johnson presidential Afghan Pause” is about finding places for terror soldiers to stay, and, finding new ways to fund those terror soldiers in a world were the usual ways to fund them have been exposed.

That is what I see as the third illusive part to the “Cup of Joe” that I started with a couple of days ago. Quarters and funding needed for Joe’s terror soldiers in a particular geographic region, or, in a more emergent generalized way, where the current system for housing and funding the vast Canadian terror army may have been exposed at the JP Morgan Chase Bank level. and the Too Big To Fail funding method done with digital money moving magic and falsified store inventories, could have been exposed to people who won‘t tolerate that, and perhaps, have power and authority to shut down the funding of the terror army that has been done that way since 2008, when George W. Bush stole the contents of the US Treasury and the Federal Reserve, AKA: “The Alpha Breasts”.

That would be good.

It could be start to restoring Freedom and preserving the existence of USA.

To those people who may have authority and power, and won‘t tolerate terror funding by the US President or Congress, I warn you again, Twitter must be taken offline, or your efforts are likely to fail.

That would be bad.

Please consider caution, and take the command vehicle offline, Twitter is that vehicle.

===========

7:01 pm:

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1382830864329936897

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1382828602593529857

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1382826104092815362

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1382826103677550595

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1382824825660530693

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/1382823577880305667

The linked Tweets above can be associated to John Wayne International Airport.

That is all I have on that.

I chose not to include any more screen shots than is necessary to say why the airport could be important.

FYI: The Range Rover Defender 90 (not shown) came new from the factory with three different tops. One is a hard top, one is a soft-top full enclosure, and the third is a Bikini-Top.

Alpha Breasts are in the Tweeted coded news today, so is the Range Rover Defender 130, modified to a Hearst. (130 is bad luck in terror comm)

John Wayne = “Diminished Patronage”, something to consider.

=======================

7:16 pm:

This thing is trending on Twitter terror command HQ:

https://twitter.com/surface/status/1382695206542270465

Please understand that there is a “Covfefe” happening here.

The “Covfefe” includes that there will be two opposing ideas where pressure towards the center in between them is applied, as a terror attack strategy. The people who are lured into the place between are marked, and become targets, downrange from two perspectives.

That “surface” thing is super whimpy, while that Range Rover Hearst is super stout. Those are only two of the opposing situations I am seeing today, they are easy to identify and explain, there are other, more complex “Covfefe” today that is too difficult to show, so, see the contrast being demonstrated in various places today in order to see the existence of the “Covfefe” attack conditions that are forming in the tweeted terror comm today.

Please search this account for “Covfefe” if you are not familiar with the way “Irony” is done as an attack plan, where the Screen Actor Guild is the command entity, and the “Irony” is what happens when victims are placed between the two masks of SAG, “Comedy & Tragedy”. Basically, that is what the “Covfefe” attack scenarios are made of.

Something to consider:

People who have lived in modern times have grown up and lived their lives in the shadow of televised programing, where before there was television, the reality was simple, reality consisted of what was actually happening around where people were at.

So, in the past, before TV, when a war broke out, the reality was known by the existence of an invading enemy within view in the neighborhood.

now, we have per-concieved ideas about what constitutes war. Most everyone I ever knew, including myself, always thought that war included men in uniform, with attack that includes bombs and machine guns, and everything is blown up real fast ... and that is war the way modern people have been programmed to see it, on a TV.

Reality these days, is that the Screen Actor Guild is the offensive party, and, they are also the people who made sure that the people they are going to attack don‘t know what modern war is made of, they programed us to see only that war happens when the men are in uniform, and the shit is exploding everywhere.

Modern war, has a Covfefe built into it, it has a story, a plot, it has an introduction, character development happens ahead of the attack, so we get to know the people who are killing us. We end up worshiping the attacking army. Modern war has no uniform, it has a costume, it has props, is choreographed, and includes an intermission so that victims can be taken at the concessions stands.

Modern war is slow, it’s scripted, written out to great detail such that the attacking army has very little chance of being hurt, because there were numerous dress rehearsals, where every conceivable situation could be anticipated, and a counter measure applied, roled out from a parallel screen play, on the fly, in such a way as to only increase the dramatic quality of the attack, and keep the victims entertained ahead of the slaughter.

The “Covfefe” includes that an attack will entertain as the killing progresses, and while the objective is reached, while no one is aware that there is a war. The victims are replaced with impostors before the body cools off, and no one knows that any victims ever needed any help.

Comedy on one side of the victim, tragedy on the other. The victim runs towards the comedy in order to escape the tragedy, then, the plot thickens, and the comedy turns to tragedy, as the victims is seeking some help.

That is Covfefe. We were programmed for it with sitcoms, drama’s and horror films.

=====

10:07 pm:

This Kroger news has been trending on Twitter terror high command all day.

I’ll go ahead and do a quick “what can be said about this” approach to it, but I am hurting so bad at this time that I am not thinking clearly and the poisons I was injected with is coming out of my eyes, it drains out like tears, is ice cold, makes blurry vision and is otherwise painful along with my leg, which is also hurting bad after a short walk outside that produced nothing to speak of.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1382462465330528256

First thing to say is that today’s Kroger Foods is the legacy of the very first terror retail takeover that I am aware of, when the Ralph’s Markets on Topanga Canyon Blvd and the one across from Taft high school in the San Fernando Valley California were hijacked in around 1972. Ralph’s became a Kroger Brand since then, now, all of the Kroger Family of Brands are terror controlled and have been that way in Oregon for as long as I have lived in Oregon, more than 24 years.

The next thing to say, is that at minimum, the Grants Pass Fred Meyer store was hijacked again, taken from the first terror controlling entity by an opposing terror controlling entity in around 2002 or so. One terror army was overpowered by a different terror army at the Grants Pass Fred Meyer store, and I suspect that others including the Brookings Oregon Fred Meyer were also taken over by that same opposing terror army, The original controlling terror army before 2002 was a mostly quiet sort of group of Seventh Day Adventist Cannibals who did not draw much attention to themselves as the store provided a continuous supply of victims for their Cannibal culture. The new controlling terror army is also SDA Cannibal, however they are far more aggressive than the other group. The new SDA at the Grants Pass Fred Meyer store include a lot of people of German heritage, are more aggressive than the others were.

Then, it says “Robots” are going to possibly be deployed. Let’s explore “Robots”:

Things to consider: Robe’s are worn by Judges and people associated with Social Fraternal Orders.

Robe + Ot’s = Robots

Ot’s = Odd’s = asymmetrical = people who are “inclined” one way or another way. Joe Biden shows us an example of “Odd’s” when he speaks, and leans to one side momentarily, in that way, he is “Asymmetrical” and has a “List”, is “Inclined”, is “Lopsided” for a moment during his speeches.

===

(additional thoughts: 4-16-2021: 12:30 pm: The “Ot’s” may better be viewed as “ought’s” witch are “zero’s”. Abrasives are measured with use of “ought” rather than “zero’s”, is a strange concept, where “100″ grit sandpaper means there are 100 grains of sand-like grit per square inch of sandpaper, while on the other side of “zero” where the sandpaper is increasingly fine, it is measured with use of “ought” where “Three ought” or “triple ought” is less abrasive than is “Two ought” or “Double ought”. With “double ought”, there are too many grain particles to count, and with “Triple Ought” there are yet more abrasive particles per square inch of sand paper material. Where does the “other side of zero” begin? I have seen 600 grit, and even 800 grit, but beyond that somewhere as the abrasive is increasingly finer, the measure changes to “ought”, “double ought” and “triple ought” as the sand paper gets finer, less gritty, is useful to buff and polish rather than remove material in effort to smooth or remove unsightly scratches.

Also, I mentioned somewhere something about Joe Biden‘s edited video clip about US troop withdrawal from Afghanistan, where Joe leaned to the right of the screen, it was edited to occur at the 0:06 mark of a 1:10 minute video. So, I did a Bing search for the word “trillion“ just now, and was reminded that a “trillion“ is a real number that is equal to a one followed by twelve zero’s to express the value numerically in long hand. I did that because the amount of money we are seeing reported as being spent by the White House, for special circumstances that are beyond the usual US Budget amounts, is astronomical. and it’s become commonplace for such amounts of money spending to be measured in the trillions of dollars. Most people are oblivious to what is happening with those numbers, that amount of money, why it’s said to be necessary, but I know that the Canadian terror army is funded by the US government, with money stashed away from the Too Big To Fail of 2008. In event that investigative persons who have power and authority were to identify and seize that Too Big To Fail cash of terror funding, then, the government treasonous shills would need to find alternative ways to fund that terror army, about 20 million men & women is my conservative estimate, all of them need food, housing, and transportation paid for by the SAG leadership, AKA: the US Shill Government. So, that 0:06 mark where Joe leans to the right of the screen starts to look a lot like an “OK” statement, where he says: “I can do half a trillion” and is stated with body language. Vague, not a lot of substance to my read on that with what I have to support saying it, but there is so much more information that I don’t include, all of it is also driving my desire to decode what I see, in effort to get some help to come to Oregon where that terror army lives for free, all expenses are paid for, and they already have killed and replaced the entire Oregon population, I am the last remaining US citizen in Oregon.)

(Creativity to produce a stream of cash flow that will reach the terror army at their roots, in the actual “terror family cell” where the money trail needs to show as sustenance of a family in a way that is no different than any family uses income to support their needs. The house payment, car payment, insurance, food, all of the normal expenses that “terror family citizens” must pay to survive all need to have a paper trail, (True Grit) the same a the US citizens that the terror army is systematically killing in order to keep from being caught, or identified as a enormous terror army.

Yesterday I saw a very offensive Tweet. The information presented in the Tweet (from a major news network) was about “victims of Corona Virus who died”. The information says that the surviving family members are eligible to apply for a special “COVID Funeral Expense”, where those who apply are granted $9,000 per deceased family member who died due to COVID.

The amount of $9,000 for a funeral expense paid out by the federal government is ludicrous. The cost of a standard cremation is about $300 anywhere in USA. I don‘t know what a fair amount would be, however, to date, not one single victim world wide had died of anything that can be deemed as “Corona Virus” or “COVID”. The truth about how that $9,000 is handed out, is that is money that will be paid to a terror army soldier who murdered a US Citizen, and then claimed that the citizen was a family member. Think about people who are confined to Extended Care Facilities here, the old people, the terror bastards kill them off, and then apply for $9,000. I can see something like that is very possible. I saw the information in a Tweet, and I can see that the Biden WH is being some what crafty for excuses to hand out large amounts of money,

Something to think about: “where does the terror army get it’s sustenance from?

The idea of a $9,000 funeral expense payout from federal government to cover costs of COVID death has a problem that is not consistent with the usual terror murder scenarios. So far, for fifty years, the Canadian terror army has been murdering one single US Citizen, in effort to gain one Vote for a SAG government shill. They kill the citizen, there is no death report, and no one is aware that a citizen died. The terror army grows in size with each murder, as SAG “casts” a “look-a-like” terror soldier from Canada to replace and carry on while portraying that dead citizens life. The live in the victims home, drive the victims car, use the victims name, and hunt the victims extended family, and, the terror army replacement votes for the candidates on the ballots as SAG Leaders [Nancy Sinatra] instruct them to vote. The vote is all pre-arranged that way, SAG knows which candidates will prevail because they instruct the voter base about what particular candidate they are to vote for, for all of the contested positions on the ballots.

So, one murder, no death certificate, no body, no crime ... is the basis of the terror take over of USA.

That $9,000 dollar pay out changes that. With that plan implimented, the terror army MUST produce a body, a name, and then be paid for the death of the victim, so, the way it looks to me, is that the priority changed, from “we need Votes”, to “We need more money”. It goes from “Murder to elect” to “Murder for Pay”. Therein lies the problem associated to the $9,000 death payout.

They cannot have both the vote they do the murders for, and, the money they need to sustain the army. They can have either the Vote, or the money, not both,

Maybe that is what the Honduran Caravans are for, a constant supply of $9,000 bodies waiting to happen at the refugee camps.

With the Honduran Plan, the Canadian SAG army would need approximately one dead Honduran in order to sustain a terror family cell for two months, or, six murdered Honduran Caravan Refugee’s annually to survive at a rate of $9,000 per each “family member who died of COVID or Corona Virus”, So the question is, “what propaganda is being fed to the Hondurans to get them to keep coming to USA?)

(Other “Ought” oriented info, not necessarily associated to any other thing I wrote about above: “Ought” is one of those words that is wielded as a tool used more for secret communication than face value speech by persons associated with Social Fraternal Orders. The word literally is a “zero”, it also has a “nothing” sort of use, but it has mystery associated with it’s use. For instance, if I say; “My car is dirty, I ought to wash the car”. Many people use the word “Ought” like that, as a sort of “Maybe” statement, “maybe I should wash the car”. The historical use of “Ought” is far different. It was really used for saying “Don‘t do that” and in that way, is a “zero”. “When in doubt, leave it out” is “Ought” at it’s real value. Think: There is a mean dog on the front porch at the neighbors house, and two young people are walking by, one says to the other: “I think you ought to go over there and pull that dog’s tail”, inevitably, the one that the statement was directed at, will go over there and pull the dog’s tail, and get bit in the process. That same young person, with his father who see’s the mean dog on the porch, is told: “I think you ought to pull the dogs tail” and a hundred years ago, that meant: “don‘t fuck with that dog Son”. “Ought”, is complicated that way.

Another Social Fraternal Order thing that I learned from a Grand Master, has to do with buying some time to think. Sometimes, people are asked some tough questions that require a good response immediately. and, sometimes the correct response could be an embarrassing one, so, at times like that, the Fraternal Orders practice with use of the word: “why” for starting a sentence in answer to a potentially embarrassing question when under pressure. For instance: Someone asks: “Were you at the park last night?” ... the answer seems simple, yes or no, but, there could be some reason not to answer, while a response is really made to be important by the person asking the tough questions. So, in response, to buy a half second of extra time to think while under pressure, the response is something like: “whyyyyyy...... no, I didn‘t go to a park last night” That stretched out “whyyyyyyyy....” is an easily overlooked tool used by people who are feeling pressure around the waistband of their fraternal robe. You have heard that “whyyyy... a thousand times, and probably never thought twice about why, people say “why” when they begin to speak. It’s used to make a purchase of a tiny bit of time, and, it also identifies the speaker of “whyyyyy....” as a Fraternal Club Member, just in case there are other secret society members around, who can help. If so, they may say something about “The widows, and the orphans at the park” in order to identify themselves secretly back to the one who said “Whyyyy....”.)

===

The tweeted information says: “Dishwasher Size Robots”. Ok. The thing that comes to mind is that the SDA are a group of people who really have harnessed all that can be done in a Petri Dish. They love to invent poisons that can be reproduced with nasty, creepy, fungus, mold, mildew, spores, anything that is “mold”, and they are famous locally for all having a dishwasher in the kitchen that is only used for keeping enough water inside of it that it will grow the mold they use for making such poisons with. There is a poison they call “Sewer Gas”, it makes a person feel the same symptoms as sea sickness, with addition of vertigo symptoms. That stuff is made with the kind of mold & mildew that can be grown in a kitchen dish washer is the way I understand it.

It says “Automated Warehouse”. That can‘t be good. Sounds like Kroger Foods has a list of addresses to automatically go to for Corona Attack.

There is mention of a desire to “Catch Up”. That can‘t be good, and the statement comes on the heels of other news about a national shortage of Ketchup Packets at fast food restaurants. I see a Cannabal theme happening with the Catch Up statement, and, there was also recent mention from Jen Psaki (hard core SDA General) about “Deadliest Catch” the other day. The news about the “Catch Up” is the worst part of the Kroger story. It also would include the “V-8“ and “Red Hydroseed” that I don‘t want to explain right now.

I cannot see. I have to stop for now. Maybe I can continue when my eyes are done leaking out this poison.

===

11:47 pm:

The only thing left that I can see for now in the Tweeted Trend description is there is a vague reference to a sort competition the seems to exist at Kroger, avd what I am reading in the statements makes sense to me, but probably won‘t make sense to many others. The part where it says: “ ... a gigantic mistake or solidifying ...” is nod to Ann Wilson vs a nod to Donald Trump. Wilson being lead Amp Guru at Vatican Choir high command, and, also is General of SDA Cannibals world wide, gigantic that way, where the “solidifying” part is where things get more “tangible” in the Twitter terror comm, they turn “tangerine” right there, and even Donald Trump would say he is an Orange, and definitely not an Apple.

That’s all I have on that.

==================

11:38 pm:

This just in:

https://twitter.com/i/events/1382906192217792515

I was saying the John Wayne international airport was of interest today according to Daily Mail UK, however, I did not take into consideration that you have to turn everything around backwards when the news crosses the Atlantic.

My bad.

John Wayne turned the other way, is “Indians”. John is the “Cowboy”.

Even so, that should demonstrate the urgency needed to take Twitter offline as soon as possible, as Twitter is the terror high command HQ vehicle for delivering marching orders to Canadian terror soldiers in the field.

=====

11:55 pm:

I’ll wager dollars to doughnuts that the recent news on Twitter presented by a number of “trusted” news networks about something that was happening in South Dakota is also associate to the planning and the carry out of whatever occurred at the Indianapolis international airport, and I’ll suggest the they all are in league with the Daily Mail UK.

I also saw at least one Tweet somewhere at a news network Twitter feed that mention a American Indian tribe. If I were to go scour Twitter for native American references right now, i don’t think I would come away empty handed.

(4-17-2021: 3:11 pm: An example of a prize that I might obtain by hunting around in the Twitter major news media stories for “Indian”, or, “native American” references, is a scalp. So, my question right now is: “If Boris Johnson goes to a barber to get a haircut as the very first thing he does as Corona Lockdown is lifted, does that constitute a scalp?”)

Twitter is THE terror command vehicle, is a Google product, and Google is the same as Vatican. Those who are in the business of protecting USA from terror attack should have learned that years ago, and shut down Twitter, and taken custody of all of the Google holdings, and arrested any and all of it’s employees and corporate officers.

=================

4-16-2021: 4:47 pm: miscellaneous unnecessary surplus terror comm presentation on Twitter terror high command HQ:

https://twitter.com/CBSEveningNews/status/1383193057819041793

This above is a juvenile, armature attempt by CBS news Twitter account, to say simply: “There is someone on the internet talking about details of the hijack of USA”,

They tried to bury the hi-jack in a word craft.

Everyone already knows that orbisculate is a revolution in distress.

Did anyone notice that Castro did not last a month in absence of Philip Mountbatten?

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lupine-publishers-tooaj · 4 years ago

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Lupine Publishers | Misstatements About Time

Lupine Publishers | Trends in Ophthalmology Open Access Journal

Abstract

The theory of time starts usefully by a prior inventory of the main mistakes that are commonly made, such as the pleonasms, the confusion between events and time, the duration of the present, the use of metaphors, time considered a cause of diseases and aging, time considered a phenomenon instead of a concept.

Pleonasms

Time is often defined by duration and, in the wake, duration is defined by time. These are fallacies, because time and duration denote the same concept, and they are both expressed with the same units.

Time and duration are semantic nuances of the same concept; therefore the one can’t be used to define the other.

Confusion Between Events And Time

Past, present, future does not teach us anything, because in the usual way of speaking, these three terms are commonly used to refer to events, rather than time, e.g., past means past events. As a matter of fact, past time does not mean anything, insofar as we do not know the meaning of the word time. The Latin poet Horace (68-8 BC) [1] mocked the old man who praises past time (laudator temporis acti); of course, Horace meant past life or past events, instead of past time as such. The Latin poet Ovid (43 BC-18 AD) [2] rejoiced: Others praise the past; for myself, I am pleased to be born in this century. The Latin historian Tacitus [3] used the expression succession of times instead of succession of events. However, this basic distinction between time and event is not taken into account, probably due to the persuasive habits of everyday language.

History tells of events, not time. The Greek historian Diodorus of Sicily (c.90-30) [4] stressed the fact that history has valuable lessons to teach us: the history that Diodorus was talking about concerned past events and present events, rather than past time and present time. The Greek founder of historical science Thucydides (c.465-c.395) [5] observed the conflict which opposed Athena and Sparta from 431 to 404 BC, pulled into conflict by their various alliances. He did not study present time, but present events. He followed the sequence of events in order to understand, and to accomplish his work as a historian. During one of his famous speeches Pericles (495-429) warned the audience; […] the events of war are uncertain [5]: Pericles did not refer to times of war.

The French word avenir (from Latin advenire: to arrive) is selfcontradicting if it is translated by future events, because future events do not exist. Forecasters try to predict future events, i.e. their predictions refer to events rather than time. The word fatum (fate, destiny) names the belief according to which the future, including even the most inconsequential events, is written or decided in advance. Pericles observed that people thought fate was the cause of their failures. We can easily determine future time, but not futur events. For example, it is possible to calculate what day will be April 12, 2076, but it’s impossible to predict the value of the Dow Jones index as well as what is going to happen in Outer Mongolia that day. The confusion between the events and time has disastrous consequences, espacially with the use of innumerable metaphors.

Duration of the Present

In a conference hold in 1911, Bergson [6] described the present, as a duration thickness located between our immediate past and our imminent future. The philosopher did not explain what a duration thickness was. Perhaps he did not understand that thickness is a spatial concept and that past, present, and future have to do with events, not time. In Le temps et sa flèche [7], Michel Paty points out that the philosopher Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947) thought that a duration had a temporal thickness (1919). In the same work, J. M. Lévy-Leblond claims that there is a width and a thickness between future and past. There is something strange about the idea that the present should have duration:

a) Either the present designates a present event, in which case the duration of the present is given by a stopwatch.

b) Or the present designates the present time; but the duration of the present time is a pleonasm of the first order.

Use of Metaphors

All metaphors are misleading; their use in physics must be restricted because they don’t allow one to demonstrate anything. On the contrary, they are the source of many errors:

a. Time flies is a metaphor commonly used. It supposes that time has a velocity ; but the velocity of time related to time is a sophism, which has no place in a physical theory.

b. The arrow of time [7] means that time is physically oriented like a vector in mathematics.

Instead, it’s the events that are oriented; time is a scalar.

The arrow of time is a consequence of the confusion between events and time.

Cause of Deseases and Aging

An investigation carried out by Reinberg and Halberg about people suffering from brain death in France between 1962 and 1967 observed a greater fragility during winter seasons [8]. Jacques Attali takes this as an action of time on individuals, whereas in fact there is no action of time, merely a seasonal climatic impact. Thucydides avoided this mistake, when he talked about the season, in August, during which people’s health grows weaker [5]. His translator Denis Roussel notes that physicians of the Côs School (that of Hippocrates c.460-c.377 BC) were taking the influence of climate and seasons into account. The aging of the skin is not caused by time: wrinkles result from the action of sun rays and a lack of protection. The proof is that in some areas, young people can be wrinkled.

Time Considered a Phenomenon Instead a Concept

A phenomenon is characterized by physical properties. In a certain way, experiences can be done on it: for example it can be observed and measured. In L’évolution créatrice, Bergson [9] asserted that time was a flux, but on the following page, declared that time was a kind of force. However, flux and force are mutually exclusive; it is either one or the other, or else it is neither. Bergson did not describe the nature of the flux; furthermore the qualifier “kind of” is never used in physics. The German philosopher Martin Heidegger [10] postulated the existence of time and the phenomenology of time. He thought of time as a being, and confused time, events, and historiality; he wondered why the flux of time could not be reversed. Despite his baroque phraseology, Heidegger has never been able to explain the nature of time.

A concept is the idea that one has about a phenomenon. It is therefore a construction of the mind. A concept has no physical properties, so it does not exist physically, and it is neither observable nor measurable. The Greek historian Plutarch (c.50- 125) [11] emphasized the effectiveness of an explanation drawn from a principle of nature. Thus we observe the movement of the Sun, which is a phenomenon, rather than the day and the year, which are concepts. Remember the erratic values of the year. For example, in Song II of the Odyssey Homer [12] wrote : when the fourth year came, and when the seasons began again. According to this verse, four years are equal to four season; therefore, during the 8th century BC the year had three months in Greece.

Conclusion

Time is not a natural phenomenon; instead, it’s a concept. In other words, time does not physically exist. The thorough study of geo historical origins allows one to demonstrate that time was invented; An invention of thought. Ultimately, it opens the way to the theorization of time [13,14]

https://lupinepublishers.com/ophthalmology-journal/pdf/TOOAJ.MS.ID.000115.pdf https://lupinepublishers.com/ophthalmology-journal/fulltext/misstatements-about-time.ID.000115.php

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dweemeister · 4 years ago

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2020 Movie Odyssey

For those who are not aware, my “Movie Odyssey” consists of all films that I have seen for the first time in their entirety. Rewatches do not count. What follows is a list of every film - feature- and short-length - that were a part of the 2020 edition of My Movie Odyssey.

A good many of these are MGM/Popeye short films that are shown on Turner Classic Movies (TCM) on Saturday. Other short films - including the Oscar-nominated short film packages shown in theaters every year before the Academy Awards - also appear. But I saw more features (124; defined as a film over forty minutes in length) than I did short films (97). With no Viet Film Fest this year and fewer obligations to watch recent releases, this year’s Movie Odyssey skewed harder towards older movies than in a long time.

I’m no longer as prolific as I may have been back in my undergrad days in watching movies, but I definitely saw my share of great, good, mediocre, and bad movies in 2020. You’ll notice that most of the 10/10 ratings are clumped near the beginning of the year - there’s not a particular reason for that.

Thanks for being a part of the Movie Odyssey, everyone. Whether we saw a movie together in a theater (before they closed), you read a review of mine, or if we discussed a movie in some conversation anywhere, you have been part of this journey. I look forward to the 2021 iteration, and I hope it’s just as exciting - if not more - as this year was!

Without further ado, the films of the 2020 Movie Odyssey, in the order that they were completed:

JANUARY

The Irishman (2019) – 10/10

The Duke Is Tops (1938) – 5/10

Destroy All Monsters (1968, Japan) – 7/10

Parasite (2019, South Korea) – 10/10

Sinners’ Holiday (1930) – 6/10

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974, Japan) – 5/10

Wimmin Is a Myskery (1940 short) – 6/10

The Eyes of Orson Welles (2018) – 6/10

The Trial (1962) – 10/10

1917 (2019) – 9/10

Tale of the Vienna Woods (1934 short) – 7/10

Nurse-Mates (1940 short) – 6/10

Weathering with You (2019, Japan) – 6.5/10

Klaus (2019) – 7/10

Edge of the City (1957) – 7.5/10

The Unwelcome Guest (1945 short) – 7/10

Fightin’ Pals (1940 short) – 5/10

The Winning Ticket (1938 short) – 6/10

Doing Impossikible Stunts (1940 short) – 5/10

Little Women (2019) – 8.5/10 (2020’s 31 Days of Oscar begins)

FEBRUARY

The African Queen (1951) – 10/10

Hair Love (2019 short) – 8.5/10

Dcera (2019 short, Czech Republic) – 7.5/10

Sister (2018 short) – 8/10

Mémorable (2019 short, France) – 9/10

Kitbull (2019 short) – 8/10

Henrietta Bulkowski (2019 short) – 6/10*

The Bird & the Whale (2018 short) – 7/10*

Hors piste (2019 short, France) – 7/10*

Maestro (2019 short, France) – 6/10*

Marriage Story (2019) – 8/10

A Sister (2018 short, Belgium) – 9/10

Brotherhood (2018 short, Tunisia/Canada/Qatar/Sweden) – 7.5/10

The Neighbors’ Window (2019 short) – 6/10

Saria (2019 short) – 8/10

Nefta Football Club (2018 short, Tunisia/France/Algeria) – 8/10

In the Absence (2018 short, South Korea) – 9.5/10

St. Louis Superman (2019 short) – 7/10

Jojo Rabbit (2019) – 6/10

I Lost My Body (2019, France) – 8/10

Live Overtakes Me (2019 short) – 6/10

Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You’re a Girl) (2019 short, United Kingdom) – 8.5/10

Born Free (1966) – 7.5/10

Empire of the Sun (1987) – 6/10

Road to Utopia (1945) – 7/10

The Sin of Madelon Claudet (1931) – 7.5/10 (31 Days of Oscar ends)

*Part of the Oscar-nominated animated short film package as honorable mentions, not nominees.

MARCH

The Shop on Main Street (1965, Czechoslovakia) – 10/10

Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971) – 7/10

Northwest Hounded Police (1946 short) – 8/10

Wimmin Hadn’t Oughta Drive (1940 short) – 6/10

Princess from the Moon (1987, Japan) – 6/10

Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor (1936 short) – 9/10

The Shooting of Dan McGoo (1945 short) – 8/10

Puttin’ on the Act (1940 short) – 7/10

Major Dundee (1965) – 6/10

This Gun for Hire (1942) – 7/10

Emitaï (1971, Senegal) – 9/10

War of the Worlds (2005) – 6.5/10

Popeye Meets William Tell (1940 short) – 6/10

Murder Most Foul (1964) – 7/10

Circus Clown (1934) – 6/10

Lonesome Luke, Messenger (1917 short) – 5/10

Bumping into Broadway (1919 short) – 8/10

Next Aisle Over (1919 short) – 6.5/10

APRIL

A Sammy in Siberia (1919 short) – 6/10

Young Mr. Jazz (1919 short) – 6/10

I Do (1921 short) – 7.5/10

Persona (1966, Sweden) – 8.5/10

The Great Buster: A Celebration (2018) – 7/10

Frankie and Johnny (1966) – 5.5/10

Death of a Cyclist (1955, Spain) – 7.5/10

The Car of Tomorrow (1951 short) – 6.5/10

Poopdeck Pappy (1940 short) – 7/10

New York, New York (1977) – 6.5/10

A Letter to Three Wives (1949) – 10/10

Diego Maradona (2019, United Kingdom) – 7.5/10

Blackboard Jumble (1957 short) – 6/10

Popeye Presents Eugene, the Jeep (1940 short) – 6/10

The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) – 4.5/10

The Scar of Shame (1927) – 8/10

One Hour with You (1932) – 8/10

Gosford Park (2001) – 7.5/10

Cry of the City (1948) – 6/10

Deliverance (1972) – 7.5/10

I Am Somebody (1970 short) – 9/10

Crisis: Behind a Presidential Commitment (1963) – 8/10

Le Silence de la Mer (1949, France) – 7/10

McFarland, USA (2015) – 7/10

The Man Who Never Was (1956) – 7.5/10

Cock-a-Doodle Dog (1951 short) – 6/10

Problem Pappy (1941 short) – 6/10

Three Little Girls in Blue (1946) – 7/10

Fireman, Save My Child! (1932) – 5/10

MAY

Babe: Pig in the City (1998) – 6/10

The Bear and the Beavers (1942 short) – 6/10

Quiet! Pleeze (1941 short) – 6/10

Elmer, the Great (1933) – 7/10

Alibi Ike (1935) – 6/10

Body and Soul (1925) – 7.5/10

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) – 4/10

The Bear and the Hare (1948 short) – 6/10

Olive’s Sweepstake Ticket (1941 short) – 6/10

Ceddo (1977, Senegal) – 6.5/10

Stars in My Crown (1950) – 8.5/10

The Big City (1963, India) – 8/10

Bear Raid Warden (1944 short) – 6/10

Flies Ain’t Human (1941 short) – 6/10

The Last Unicorn (1982) – 5/10

Age 13 (1955 short) – 3/10

Barney’s Hungry Cousin (1953 short) – 6/10

Popeye Meets Rip Van Winkle (1941 short) – 6/10

JUNE

Lance (2020) – 7/10

Olive’s Boithday Presink (1941 short) – 6/10

The Phenix City Story (1955) – 7.5/10

Be Water (2020) – 7/10

Ordet (1955, Denmark) – 10/10

My Dream Is Yours (1949) – 7/10

The Dragon Painter (1919) – 6/10

The Silver Cord (1933) – 6/10

Caballero Droopy (1952 short) – 7/10

Pest Pilot (1941 short) – 6/10

Aaron Loves Angela (1975) – 5/10

Goggle Fishing Bear (1949 short) – 6/10

I’ll Never Crow Again (1941 short) – 6.5/10

Best in Show (2000) – 7/10

JULY

The Comancheros (1961) – 6.5/10

Cobs and Robbers (1953 short) – 7/10

The Mighty Navy (1941 short) – 7/10

Hamilton (2020) – 7/10

Once Upon a Time in America (1984) – 9.5/10

The Sin of Nora Moran (1933) – 6.5/10

Busybody Bear (1952 short) – 6/10

Nix on Hypnotricks (1941 short) – 6/10

The Steel Helmet (1951) – 7.5/10

The Princess and the Pirate (1944) – 7/10

Harold and Lillian: A Hollywood Love Story (2015) – 8/10

Deputy Droopy (1955 short) – 6.5/10

Kickin’ the Conga Round (1942 short) – 6/10

Shoes (1916) – 8/10

Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance (1972, Japan) – 7.5/10

When Worlds Collide (1951) – 7/10

Tokyo Olympiad (1965, Japan) – 9.5/10

Wichita (1955) – 7/10

AUGUST

Pinky (1949) – 6.5/10

Floyd Norman: An Animated Life (2016) – 6/10

Insiang (1976, Philippines) – 7.5/10

Arrowsmith (1931) – 5/10

The Shocking Miss Pilgrim (1947) – 6/10

Blue Hawaii (1961) – 6/10

Kaagaz Ke Phool (1959, India) – 9/10

I Am Not Your Negro (2016) – 8.5/10

Doggone Tired (1949 short) – 7/10

Blunder Below (1942 short) – 6/10

Saludos Amigos (1942) – 5/10

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972, Japan) – 7/10

The Little Colonel (1935) – 7/10

Malcolm X (1992) – 9/10

SEPTEMBER

Murder at the Gallop (1963) – 7/10

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades (1972, Japan) – 7/10

Mädchen in Uniform (1931, Germany) – 9/10

The T.A.M.I Show (1964) – 9/10

The Chump Champ (1950 short) – 6/10

Fleets of Stren’th (1942 short) – 6/10

Merrily We Go to Hell (1932) – 6/10

Elvis: That’s the Way It Is (1970) – 8/10

Melody Time (1948) – 6/10

Red Dawn (1984) – 4/10

Olivia (1951, France) – 8.5/10

Droopy’s Double Trouble (1951 short) – 7/10

Pip-eye, Pup-eye, Poop-eye an’ Peep-eye (1942 short) – 6/10

The River (1938 short) – 7.5/10

The Crimson Kimono (1959) – 7/10

Sleepwalking Land (2008, Mozambique) – 8/10

The First Bad Man (1955 short) – 5/10

Many Tanks (1942 short) – 6/10

Marona’s Fantastic Tale (2019, France) – 8.5/10

Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril (1972, Japan) – 7/10

OCTOBER

Ramona (1928) – 6/10

The Peachy Cobbler (1950 short) – 6/10

Baby Wants a Bottleship (1942 short) – 6/10

House of Bamboo (1955) – 6.5/10

Ride the Wild Surf (1964) – 6/10

Red Hot Riding Hood (1943 short) – 9.5/10

Alona on the Sarong Seas (1942 short) – 6/10

New Orleans (1947) – 6.5/10

Mad Monster Party? (1967) – 6.5/10

Sheep Wrecked (1958 short) – 6/10

A Hull of a Mess (1942 short) – 6/10

El Camino (1963, Spain) – 7/10

One Cab’s Family (1952 short) – 6/10

Cartoons Ain’t Human (1943 short) – 6/10

The Haunting (1963) – 9.5/10

Dead of Night (1945) – 8/10

From Beyond the Grave (1974) – 7.5/10

NOVEMBER

Heir Bear (1953 short) – 6/10

Me Musical Nephews (1942 short) – 8/10

The Virgin Suicides (1999) – 8/10

The Impossible Possum (1954 short) – 6/10

Too Weak to Work (1943 short) – 6/10

Flower Drum Song (1961) – 7/10

The Little Bantamweight (1938 short) – 6/10

A Jolly Good Furlough (1943 short) – 6.5/10

Plymouth Adventure (1952) – 6/10

The Daydreamer (1966) – 6/10

Wolfwalkers (2020 – 8.5/10

Little Gravel Voice (1942 short) – 6/10

Ration Fer the Duration (1943 short) – 6/10

DECEMBER

X-Men: First Class (2011) – 7/10

Out-Foxed (1949 short) – 7/10

Wood-Peckin’ (1943 short) – 6/10

Pete Kelly’s Blues (1955) – 6/10

The Magic Flute (1975, Sweden) – 7.5/10

Poor Little Me (1934 short) – 5/10

Spinach Fer Britain (1943 short) – 6/10

The Cave of the Yellow Dog (2005, Mongolia) – 8.5/10

The Battle of the Century (1927 short) – 8/10

It Happened on Fifth Avenue (1947) – 7.5/10

Burrow (2020 short) – 7/10

Soul (2020) – 8/10

Her Honor the Mare (1943 short) – 6/10

Kiss of Death (1947) – 8/10

#My Movie Odyssey

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alliebruns-blog · 7 years ago

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The Millennium Way Ultra (or how to keep your race when those around you are losing theirs)

So a couple of weeks ago I ran one of the most cold, brutal and fun ultras that I have ever run. The Millennium Way Ultra is organised by a little race company called Beyond Marathon, who I have never run with before, but who charge £25 for their races with literally no bells or whistles (or medals unless you pay for one). Total bargain, thinks I. Also, it’s in March, so the weather will probably be lovely and I’ve never been up that part of the country, thinks I. The race runs 41 miles from Newport in Staffordshire all the way down to Burton-on-Trent along the pretty much unmarked Millennium Way (we will come back to that in a moment). It’s flat, and a mixture of roads, villages, fields and canals. It sounds like the perfect training run, thinks I.

Fast forward to the day before the race, when once again the country goes into apocalyptic meltdown because there might be some snow or “the mini beast from the east” as nobody apart from the Daily Mail and dickheads are calling it. Just a thought people, while you’re all looking at the weather, Teresa May continues to fuck up the country. But I digress. Check emails, race not cancelled, so pack my bag and get on the train to Burton-on-Trent. Get to the hotel - race not cancelled, so get in bed with a pizza and do a sleep. Wake up at 5.30, race not cancelled but it is -2 outside, windy and fucking snow everywhere. I wonder if the race will be cancelled. Race is not cancelled.

My pal Pete picks me up from the hotel and we drive to the registration point where I get my number and tracker. It’s a bit quiet at registration. Everyone looks a bit like they’re expecting it to be shelved, and are sort of disappointed it’s not. Looking at the internet, every other race in country is cancelled. Apart from this one. Not cancelled.

Registration. A bit chilly.

So we jump on the bus to the start. Kit wise I have nailed it. I basically have most of the kit I wore in Mongolia on, minus the salopettes. The wind chill makes it feel like -8 outside. I am snug and smug. There is a lot of chat on the bus about the route, as this is self nav - something that I am terrible at. Pete has laminated and highlighted the route instructions. I have looked at them once online and then got bored. Oops. There is actually a really good vibe on the bus - its kind of exciting doing a long race when everyone else in the country is hiding under their duvets at home.

We get out of the bus and start the race in the glamorous surroundings of a Waitrose car park. I set off with Pete knowing I have about 2 minutes before he sprints off, all long legs and brilliant at running. I settle into a 9.30-10 min mile pace and bump into one of Pete’s friends, so start running with him. He’s a bit speedy but he loves a chat, so I decide to keep up with him so I have some company. The first 9 miles is down and old railway track so it’s flat and relatively boring. The snow and ice make it way more fun than it would otherwise be, and Andrew, who I am running with, keeps me chatting so I am actually having a nice time. The wind is heart stoppingly cold and is blowing towards us, but my kit feels right and I am actually having a nice time.

Death spikes are always fun.

First 9 miles basically look like this

The aid stations are pretty well stocked on this race and there are 3 of them. They have lots of crisps. I kind of breeze through the first one with Andrew, and keep the pace up until mile 21. We’ve been running along railway tracks and canals up until this point and the wind , ice and snow under foot has not made this easy, but I am wearing spikes so am relatively confident on my feet, but I am col. As we reach mile 21, I realise that I have been clocking 9.15 min miles - way to fast for me on a 41 mile ultra - and I need to slow down. I also need to put some more clothes on. This is the first time I have put clothes ON in an ultra. I put my North Face fleece on over the top of my merino base layer and compression top - I am now wearing 4 layers in the UK in March. Ridiculous.

There is a lot of this which is quite nice.

The next part of the route is 9 miles “across fields” that are not really marked. The conditions are fucking terrible. The fields are full of rivets, tyre marks, cow hoof prints, cow shit, ice and loads and loads of snow. I mean loads. At some points it’s knee deep. As your foot hits the surface of the field it smashes the ice leaving you ankle deep in mid and cow stuff. I’ve found a group of runners who appear to know where they are going, so I keep up with them at a much slower pace - it’s really hard to run across these fields, so it’s trotting and speedy walking so as not to break an ankle. I am laughing a lot at this point because the whole thing is so ridiculous. Running in these conditions really wears me out. So much concentration and watching your feet, whilst making sure that you are looking after yourself, eating, changing buffs as it’s so cold etc. In a way, this makes for a better race because you are so focused on this stuff you don't realise the miles are ticking away quite easily.

You’re cold are you mates?

Welcome to the fields of hell

Yeah. That’s knee deep snow and an electric fence. The electric fence is on.

There are small, muddy hills and woods to scramble across and none of the terrain is less than ankle deep ice mud. It’s brilliant.

My new favourite type of mud. Ice cow shit mud. For 9 miles.

At about mile 35 we take a detour on the road until we come to the canal again - its straight on from here and I am on my own. Its pretty lonely and its getting dark - I am cold and tired and its one of those parts of a race where you basically questions your life choices for half an hour. Eventually I get to the marina and head back to the HQ - I finish in 8 hours 39 minutes, 22nd place and 5th woman. I’d had so much fun. This is what running is about - it’s about learning and experiencing things that you otherwise wouldn’t have. Who goes out and runs 41 miles in that weather?! Also look at this. This is an ice bush. Fucking epic.

I was also super impressed by the race company. Beyond Marathon are completely back to basics and this race was amazing. The RD was more than aware that some people wouldn’t want to drive to the race or might have to pull out early because of the cold, so he put in place plans that meant nobody felt pressured. Anyone that didn’t want to, or couldn’t, drive was automatically put forward for the Millenium Way Back in April - the same race but the other way round. Anyone that DNF’d due to cold was also added to the MWB. No fees, no transfer issues, just a really lovely gesture from a brilliant RD that meant nobody got stressed or upset about the conditions. The aid stations were great and the support staff were awesome too. Think I might give this another go next year.

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memorylang · 5 years ago

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Remembering Mom—Third Year After | #36 | May 2020

I joined Peace Corps chiefly to experience part of my mom’s life teaching English in Asia. Thus, nearing one year since I left the States for Peace Corps, I reflect now on what I’ve come to understand about her... and me.

Coincidentally, this story #36, published on my normal Friday schedule, coincided with May 8, 2020, the exact day marking 36 months since my mother’s sudden death. While most events occur during Week 9 (Chinese number for longevity), this story begins Week 10 (number for perfection). Amazing.

As something unprecedented to this blog, I felt transcribing for you one of my penned free writes would give the clearest sense of where I’m at with Mom. So expect a tone different from my blogging norm.

A Story for Mothers’ Day

[4/22/20]

God gave imagination as a gift, so [I use] it now to envision [my] mother and grandma. [My paternal grandma Mary] and [Mom] greet [me] in the meadow. They smile lovingly, and [I feel] their warmth.

“I want to tell you everything,” I emote. “Life under quarantine has led me so much closer to you.”

The two continue smiling, kind eyes wide. I go on, speaking the frankness I long to know. [...] The two seem so glad I’m taking time to share with them. I muse I’ve really nothing better to do at 11 p.m. on this Wednesday night. They’re glad.

“Anyway, I hope you’re enjoying it up there together with everyone else. Mom, I envisioned you with your parents and brother some sleepless nights ago. Mary, I imagine you, too, at peace with your parents and among your son and your husband. You all must be doing just fine in Heaven.” [...]

“Do you have any advice up there for me on the spiritual life? It gets awfully tough down here sometimes. I know you know. [...] Rosaries help, that’s true. And acts of kindness are certainly key. [...] My, you two both had busy families to attend to. I guess you must be praying beside Jesus now, for the rest of us still here on Earth. [...] Maybe it’s hard watching us all slip and fall sometimes. But then again, you’ve such hope in us. Thank you for praying on our behalf.”

I try to think of what else I might say while the Spirit’s given me their attention. I feel moved by how the two grew up from such humble origins yet were so loving all the same. [...] I hope in Heaven they've gotten to know each other very well.

“I guess one area that’s troubling me these days is the prospect of pursuing academia. It’s daunting. It’s tough. But Mom, you did it. And Grandma, you sound like you had so much hope. So, I guess I’ve patron Saints like you up there helping me here, reading while I read, praying while I pray.” [...]

“I mean, heck, Grandma, I’m writing to you as though I know you, but I don’t believe we’ve met. I hope you don’t take offense. You don’t sound like the woman who would, though.”

*sigh*

“It’s a big world out here on Earth. I guess it’s even bigger in the heavenly kingdom. Oh, how I wish I’d be better at taking breaks and just resting in the majesty of your world. God made us to love, more than to work. [...] And in time, we’ll be healed to something beyond the beginning. That’s the resurrection. This is Easter.

“Maybe you two get to spend holidays together. If you haven’t I hope you try it. In mortal time, Mom’s been up there nearly three years, anyway. I like the term, ‘passing on’ more than ‘passing away,’ by the way. I think you’ve moved from this life to the next more than you’ve simply left this one.

“How joyful it must feel to live in a reality without status, one where all are one! Perhaps my depravity in this life will teach me gratitude in the next, as Peace Corps informed my time right now. That’d be nice…”

The two gesture it’s getting late, and there are things I’ve still to do tomorrow. But I shouldn’t forget to cherish my pilgrimage on Earth while I’m still on it. They’re right on both these accounts.

I’m glad of the time we spent together in these short moments. May the Spirit guide and protect me onward to my rest and return to living tomorrow. All is well.

Wrote My Way Out

Although this is the first and only 2017-2020 free write I’ve shared publicly among nearly 100, I felt its content valuable to help you witness a grieving process. And no, I don’t imagine Heaven as a place, “up there,” exactly. But since childhood, I’ve pictured my “happy place” as a meadow of Psalm 23.

Now I’ll give context.

That Week 7 (April 17-23), I’d just finished seeing “Star Wars IX: The Rise of Skywalker” and felt too annoyed to sleep. Still, a few of Skywalker’s quotes spoke to me: “A thousand generations live in you now,” “You have everything you need,” “No one's ever really gone.”

The quotes reminded me of my “Frozen II” feels and brought to mind a sleepless thought I had earlier. As in Mongolia, I struggled at times to sleep these past months home and would think to Mom. I envisioned her at peace, reunited in Heaven with her parents and older brother who passed while she was rather young. Mom came from a troubled childhood, I’d learned. But her older adulthood spiritual struggles inspire me to this day.

Generations In Me

Nearly a month before, Week 3 (March 20-26), I’d begun home improvement operations, namely garage sorting and donation projects. My younger USC sister helped during her visit home the following week, too.

Uncovering Dad’s old family photos on our Austrian-American side, I felt motivated to dig into family history. So I aggregated years of emails between an uncle and me and paused my garage operation to spend nearly two days straight weaving stories into one narrative.

I uncovered on Dad’s side, generations of faithful heroes in a vaguely biblical way. Through my uncle’s resources, I traced back at least three ancestral marriages of a ‘Joseph’ and a ‘Mary.’ A couple of my Austrian ancestors had 12 children, a Christian number. And those parents may have met on a Marian pilgrimage. I felt awed to have genes from them, who walked before.

But I felt most moved by stories of my late grandmother, Dad’s mom. As among the Marys who married a Joe, she was especially devout, relatives said. And only later in life did my uncle, who would study German, learn his mother came from a troubled childhood. My grandparents’ devotions to the rosary and ancestors’ devotion to our Holy Mother shone new light upon my spiritual lineage.

So, that Wednesday, April 22, 2020 night, I took to the pen. Since winter 2017, I've revived an old grade school hobby of keeping an unedited free write journal. As an undergraduate that 2017 spring, having left a stressful job and joined more liberating orgs, I wrote for a creative and mental wellness outlet. After Mom passed, months later, my free writes would draw more catharsis. Even years later, while in Mongolia, I took free writes as my ‘time heist’ mentioned in my first Mongolia blog story, June 2019.

Thus, remembering Mom and conjuring my grandmother, I penned what I shared here.

Hidden Mother

During Week 9 (May 1-7), I experienced significant moments around Mom. Here lie the many.

After posting a Monday blog story, I usually spend the Tuesday after on house projects, to break from screen time. Recall, when my USC sister visited for Easter, she and I sorted away Mom's lifetime of dresses. Back at Christmas, I sorted Mom’s books—all but her desk’s, feeling those among her most cherished.

May's first week, having finished “Easter Epilogue | #35,” I felt ready for Mom’s desk. My family left it almost untouched the past three years.

What a struggle. I saw a dusty accordion folder, for example. I opened it to find what it might be and suddenly met a whiff of Mom's perfume. It saddened me. I could imagine why my family put off touching her desk post-death. I could practically feel her presence in her things. Finding a 2010 letter penned in China, I marveled how our relatives loved her, decades beyond her leaving.

Here’s where things get very curious.

Earlier that day, I felt like practicing Spanish again, but with the communicative way I practiced Chinese and Mongolian. Reaching out to Salvadorian friends, I felt glad they supported me eagerly. (Later, I realized it was Cinco de Mayo, though I doubted that affected El Salvador.)

But while sifting Mom's books to bins, I felt astonished.

I found a black notebook not unlike those I use. Dated spring 2013, I would've been a high school sophomore finishing Spanish classes.

At first, the book seemed nothing special. Mom penned pages of translations to technical words from the decades of Chinese-English dictionaries her shelves housed. Her notebook focused on English for medical science and technology. Still, I paged through.

Then I felt so shocked, I left the room.

My mom studied Spanish.

She practiced what she preached... She professed languages open doors, wanting my siblings and me multilingual. But she aspired toward it, too.

I could hardly believe it. Wisps of memory returned to me.

If Mom was alive during this Coronavirus period, she'd surely be doing exactly what I'm doing—studying.

And then I felt, yet again, I really am my mother's son. Her love of languages—I'm of her next generation.

Mom still has my back, all these years later. :)

A Blessed Generation

I continued the night for hours stowing Mom’s things. And curious thoughts came to mind.

Mom and I learned differently. She self studied phrase books and dictionaries. But my family’s had internet since I was young. Besides grammar books, I’ve had online translators, video access and friends as native speakers.

Throughout my childhood Mom and Dad would say how they were giving me a better childhood than either of them had. I realized it, with such abundance. At my fingertips have been resources hardly seen in human history. I have ways to learn that few could envision mere decades ago.

I noticed in one of Mom's dictionaries after she was an English professor, she, too, wrote with the International Phonetic Alphabet. One of my Mongolian colleagues first showed me that alphabet.

For better or worse, maybe my colleagues were right—English as the globe's most valuable language? And Mom sacrificed the life she knew in China. Emigrating, she gave my siblings and I abundant lives. Like her, I became an English instructor—but one privileged with native English.

As I walked our house to find new homes for Mom's possessions past, I noticed my Mongolian language notebooks and suddenly felt emotional.

Could Mom have imagined I'd know Mongolian, too? That I'd spend nearly a year bordering China? That I’d teach not only my English but also her Chinese—to real students.

I sighed. I hope Mom saves me a nice seat in Heaven beside her.

The Little Flower

Later that night, one more find spoke to me.

I noticed peculiar plastic bags with a book about grief among Mom’s things. I assumed the city handed these to my family when officials visited to impart our mother was killed. (I wouldn’t know, for I was away at uni, asleep with a vision I’ll never forget.) But, maybe the funeral home gave these after sealing Mom’s casket. I noticed especially the crimson rosary siblings said Mom kept on her.

Holding its beads, I noticed an inscription read, “St. Therese, pray for us.”

Strange—Mom never mentioned St. Therese. Mom grew up without churches in China, though, so I wondered whether Mom knew St. Therese’s story. I wondered, was this St. Teresa of Avila, Thérèse of Lisieux or another?

On the back I found a little flower. Alright.

Then a thought struck me—St. Thérèse the “Little Flower” would be this year my 19-year-old little sister’s confirmation saint. Since me, Sister would be my first sibling to receive the sacrament.

Maybe St. Thérèse prayed for us.

Case Closed

Wednesdays keep coming up. Before I share what happened this Wednesday, here’s an Easter egg.

Earlier that week, I returned to a series I used to see the summer before I left home for uni—Marvel’s “Daredevil.” Picking up where I left off, the hero wins a court case and approaches his client, a youth who’s lost something for life. The hero, who bears a similar cross, coaches his client, winning the case doesn’t change reality. The client will have to live with this loss the rest of his life.

That Wednesday afternoon, our family had an unexpected web call with our lawyer. Mom's wrongful death case settled. After over two years' challenging litigation, we won. Mom wasn’t at fault. “Justice prevailed,” say some. Our lawyer echoed the hero. A win could never replace a parent.

Feelings Beyond Mother

This is the most emotional part of today’s story. We’re hitting “Frozen II” spoilers, so fair warning if that worries you.

Alright. While flying home from Mongolia, I wanted to see something either in Chinese or with subtitles. "Frozen II” had Chinese subtitles. So I chose it.

But it surprised me—magnificently.

From the moment the musical numbers began, I felt moved by timely lines, “Yes, the wind blows a little bit colder / And we're all getting older / And… That's why I rely on certain certainties.” I sat in the jet plane leaving nine months of uncertainty into the unknown.

I reflected on losing my community suddenly. The film’s themes of change felt nothing new, though welcomed. As it went on, I related to the princess’ unwavering love for her sibling. I related, too, to her sibling’s quest to their late parents.

But “Show Yourself,” that crushed me.

Its piano, the iridescence, the darkness and wisps attracted. But something more related. Lyrics felt as me talking to me, trying to talk to God or Him trying to me.

“All my life I’ve been torn. … Are you the one I’ve been looking for, all of my life?”

Then, determination: “You are the answer I’ve waited for, all of my LIFE!”

I thought the hero would find herself… I didn’t expect who would help.

The climax came. These moments stunned:

Hero: “Mother?”

Mother: “Come, my darling, homeward bound.” Hero: “I am FOUND!”

Together: “Show yourself! Step into the/YOUR power. Grow yourself, into something new.”

Mother: “You are the one you’ve been waiting for!” Hero: “All of MY LIFE!” Mother: “All of your life—”

I replayed that movement four times after finishing the film.

I cried.

Mom’s Effect

Years since Mother’s death, I’d racked my brain trying to find her.

Three years ago, I instinctively knew after Mom’s death, my siblings and I carried in our very lives the image of her. But I felt I wanted to know her, who she really was.

Then I heard and saw the hero’s mother afar profess with her, “You are the one you’ve been waiting for, all of MY/your life!” To remember, I am the very one I need and seek… That broke me.

The song struck like “Audition (The Fools Who Dream),” three years before. Yet, this transfiguration felt… personal.

Weeks later, I still reflected on why I identified so strongly with the climax.

I felt in some ways released from the quest that drove me my upperclassman uni years, indeed, to the point I entered the Peace Corps. I pursued this path to find my late mother. I wanted to know her better. She taught English in Asia. I’d teach English in Asia.

Because, in many ways, I trusted I would find and know myself through her. Indeed, following my mother’s star led me back to her… and me.

I felt my power. If I return to Peace Corps, I’m doing it for my reasons, not Mom’s. If I’m teaching in Asia, I’m teaching on my path, not hers. For mine is not hers. And hers isn’t mine.

Liberation’s euphoric.

Transfiguration

For weeks, people had told me as a Christian, the power of the Holy Spirit is mine to use in God’s name. I just need to call on it.

To my bewilderment, the exact day after seeing our “Frozen II” hero’s transfiguration, my first return to Mass in weeks celebrated the Transfiguration of the Lord. What? That following week—attending daily morning prayers, rosaries and Mass—concluded with reconciliation. My Lent continued.

Weeks later, I finished Mom’s copy of “Tuesdays with Morrie.” But days before seeing “Frozen II,” I felt awed to chance upon these lines: “‘Morrie,’ Koppel said, ‘that was seventy years ago your mother died. The pain still goes on?’ ‘You bet,’ Morrie whispered.”

I circled those lines.

Three years later I still search—for much. I still write. But, the journey won’t end soon. And the journey is the most beautiful part.

My Chosen Five

I focus on nurturing strong mental, moral and physical habits daily, amid Coronavirus quarantining. Each day, I've been working out, eating more protein, reading Scriptures, journaling, getting information, relaxing and practicing languages. And I welcome the friendly chat.

I especially love my early mornings in America, when it’s evening in Asia. My friends are up and eager to pick my brain. Their drives to learn English inspire.

I practice Mandarin Chinese and Mongolian to keep in touch with friends and family and to enjoy meaningful exchanges. I'm learning Church Latin and Spanish to help me read histories to pursue in graduate religious studies. Spanish benefits my Latin and helps me keep in touch, too.

So these are my five languages to which I’m committing. From Mom and Dad I inherited English—from Mom, language power. Now I grow myself into something new.

New Beginnings

Losing my mother shall not define my life. But, I won't fear letting go, either.

Instead, I hope to integrate more the passing of her life to mine.

For I reflect her. In me always lives her. That's special.

The end of May 2019 began my life with Peace Corps Mongolia. During my nine months, Mom resurfaced throughout. A year later now, back in the States, I’ve kept my service close at heart.

So, rest assured. New stories will come.

All in God’s time.

Up next is a 2020 Father’s Day reflection.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

P.S. Since Dad checked by the Marriage License Bureau today, who knows? Maybe by Mother’s Day 2020, Dad’s fiancée will be my next mom. But as for today’s piece, this took days to revise. So I hope it made sense. Feel free as always to share thoughts. —And thanks, friend. Peace be with you.

#Peace Corps #Mongolia #memoir #story #Catholic #God #memoryLang #transfiguration #Easter #grief #Lent #love #death #COVID-19 #identity #StayHome #WithMe #Mothers Day #Frozen #Disney

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cafeleningrad · 7 years ago

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Dear @nightgnome invited me to anlther tag game, here we go! Thanky a lot for the tag!

1. nicknames: Leo, Lewis, Nini 2. gender: Female 3. star sign: Celtic Animal sign: Fox 4. height: As tall as Daniel Radcliff 5. time: "Oh, it's learn your law stuff o'clock!" 6. birthday: 5th April 7. favorite bands: Buena Vista Social Club, Alphaville, Dire Straits, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds 8. favorite solo artists: Florence Welch, Karliene Reynold, Nina Simone, Sting 9. song stuck in my head: "Maria durch den Dornwald ging", the most festive I can feel about Christmas 10. last movie i watched: I am the pretty thing in the house; liked the atmosphere but not the movie itself 11. last show i watched: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detectove Agency - I expected more, it was not well balanced 12. when did i create my blog: May 2013 13. what do i post: Me ranting, odd ideas about headcanons, occassionally edits, me ranting again 14. last thing i googled: A train connection 15. do i have any other blogs: @la-louve-rousse for thoseof you interested in what I scribble, @patty-valentines-eye for seeing some real good art. 16. do i get asks: recently none 17. why i chose my url: To have a personal name, not something related to a fandom I might leave behind someday 18. following: 76 19. followers: 766 lovely sheep 21. average hours of sleep: late to "ough, I've a headache" 22. lucky number: The last time I played wizard, it turned out emotional feelings towards numbers are not capital you should base your fortune on 23. instruments: guitar, and singing under the shower 24. what am i wearing: Black trousers, and my proud burgundy read Oxford sweater having dyed some part of my laundry pink... 26. dream job: Lawyer for art rights or for human rights advocacy 27. dream trip: Japan, Mongolia, Lithuania, maybe Siberia 28. favorite food: Steak, mushrooms, Bibimbab, dark chocolate 29. nationality: ugh... it's very complicated 30. favorite song right now: "To Germany with Love" by Alphaville

Tag: @lordhellebore @chasingbutterfliesintoeternity @tenchan2077

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twinflameshardcore · 7 years ago

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Sensory overload

I’ve been sensing you wanted me to write something so here it goes. The energy of the last 2-3 months is what I do not understand. It doesn’t feel new at all. It doesn’t feel as something I’d be familiar with either. It’s not a limbo because I feel I was placed somewhere. The space around feels like living in a a liquid, cloud, or inside a wind blow. The space is blurry. There’s nowhere to anchor or root into. My hands refuse to do what I want to do, like typing on a keyboard. I do so many typos that it’s frightening. I forget words, and words do not want to come when I want to write, specifically in another language. I even have problems with talking to people as i the brain didn’t remember how to make a sentence. Yet I’m not worried about it because I know there’s something being removed from my conditioned brain, the nervous system is being adjusted accordingly and I will be upgraded soon.

The twin flame merging continues and since May it had become extreme to the point that I have my twin around 24/7 because I feel him the same as when we spent time together when we met the first and only time so far, yet I cannot see him and we don’t talk either as regular humans :D He is in me, we are connected with some nerves, arms whatever you name it, no more only through the heart but with more parts of our bodies, yet we’re still on a distance but the ‘distance’ loses its meaning when it’s all happening so closely.

Dreamtime energy becomes a day energy sometime, they mix together that I can feel as if I was in one of those places I visited in my dreams, and it’s happening just as I dig in the garden or write at the desk. I can track that energy with the crown and 3rd eye and I can sometime tap into that ‘storyline’ to participate for a few seconds before I’m thrown out by my own logical brain ;)

I had a big fear of love one day too, which was unnatural. I felt I was afraid of loving, engaging, participating etc. that I no more wanted to be in any relationship. I don’t even know if it was my fear as I always wanted to be in a relationship, living together, whether married or not. Maybe it was the twin’s or the ego’s when it felt an intimate connection was coming. Then it all dissolved when I told myself - ‘keep your channels open, want the twin with all of your body and energy as you experienced him when we met in the physical back then’. And I did feel him exactly like that, the same exciting man I met, living around me, yet much more open, divine and understanding. The next day we were extremely close with the twin, not even in spirit, just very physically yet on a distance, no conversation. I could only explain it that our higher selves who are One somewhere up there in another dimension are coming down into us and are bringing their ‘together’ future timeline to replace this one of separation we've had for 4 years now. Which also may mean our next physical meeting is coming anytime this year.

A follow up was that we have lately had an amazing 5D sex which was super conscious, in spirit and as in the physical body but on a distance. Without even arranging it. It was as if we both decided at the same time that we wanted to unite like that. It literately reminded me what true sex is about, how sweating bodies feel, and all that energy exchange, the masculine connecting with the feminine, both enjoying own masculine energies (we’re androgynous as angelics), both allowing, giving, taking, etc. I‘ve had no sex life for the last 4 years, because I’m faithful to the twin, and so he is to me. It was so very intense that it kept me in this energy field the entire day and I wanted more as the twin wanted too (that’s an impression I received, like when you feel a man wants you). He must have realized that we could make love just on a distance, yet so openly.That morning we just grabbed each other, openly like never before, feeling each other very physically and knowing that the other on the other side of the planet participates with the same ‘knowing’ of what we’re doing. We didn’t have such an intense sex when we lived together for a while in the real life, we were stressed out, had little sleep due to a jetleg and overall, the room was far from perfection to get fully intimate with each other. But this new intensity means I’m going to have what I always desired and yet with my masculine twin sometime next ;)).

Other than that I’m having a sensory overload like a robot whose program was hacked, glitches in vision, hearing, motion, understanding what is what, and something new is being added to the program (or removed from) thus the robot refuses to perform because it doesn’t want to make a mistake. An issue of perfection comes up too, like looking for imperfections everywhere and stopping myself from engaging with this energy. Colors are too intense (red specifically like seen through special sun glasses for drivers which underline the red color/light). I feel too big for my room eventhough I’m a slim person. I’m sensing every little thing in my place separately, every shape, weight, color, and the space it occupies. My brain feels like a bucket of water, ‘waving’ inside, unable to focus. This is very overwhelming and sometimes I just can’t spend time indoor as if I had a claustrophobia.

I’ve also received a ‘message’ from my higher self that I’m becoming a master Draconian/Dragon whom I used to be before. So it’s like returning to own highest, most advanced, forgotten identity. I’m a master teacher born as number 33, in the year of the Fire Dragon, on Tuesday which is a day dedicated to Mars and all these attributes are not casual as I’ve been discovering since my awakening in 2012. I am not to teach others, but to educate myself. Master teachers can only teach or learn from other master teachers. It was even stranger when I had a trip to a city and I accidentally met a woman who was born a day before me (same month, different year, she was older) and she was also born as number 33 as we summed up on a calculator in her little shop! She was telling me about breatharians (folks who only drink water and get nutrition from the sun/light/air) and this term was on my mind for 3 days before I met her! So the two master teachers have met and energetically upgraded each other, talking spiritual stuff, shaking hands, exchanging views. Very unusual.

Next, a few days ago I felt as if there were many powers fighting inside of me, extreme chaos. I’m a very balanced person so it was annoying. Then I took some stick which was a plant supporter as I was re-potting one of my plants, and my body spontaneously started using it as in a fight, like those who practice martial arts with ease, quickly and efficiently! I fought with it for a while then I asked myself what the hell I was just doing. My higher self told me that it’s how DNA cleans and it projected my past life’s skills and that I had links with China, Japan and Mongolia and also with Thuban in the Draco constellation. I mean I figured it out before based on my interests and skills (gardening, calligraphy, ink illustration, collecting things, woodworking etc). I even felt once I died as a kamikaze which was a glorious death with speed and passion to annihilate the enemy, and I also experienced some kind of atomic war, a total destruction and radiation, whether during the last WWII or on another planet in the past. But this time it came along with a knowing that as a master I was trained also in martial arts on Thuban. I’m a positive Draconian (interestingly there’s more and more talk about positive Draconians online these days, like I said before, perhaps in this blog, after a separation with Reptilians, we Dracos were hiding for a reason until we’re fully understood and recalled). I had my ‘retirement’ and ‘rebirth’ on Eltanin which is the Draco’s eye and is in alignment with my birth day & location on Earth too. But my higher self told me that I spent a lot of time on Thuban in the Draco and I was studying, then teaching others - all kinds of things including a master degree in love making. I’m just wondering how many more incarnations will come out of me/my DNA this year, considering I’m a very old, billion years old soul... Most of these ancient skills have no use these days as I’m sitting home, waiting for my twin to start talking to me again :P

There are days when I feel in me a powerful, angelic being and I can radiate this excess of the heart’s energy to other people, to strangers, then a low energy comes from nowhere and I don’t know what to do next, or how I even got so high previously. I cannot believe that I signed up for that kind of relationship and awakening where nothing tells me what’s going on. I received all I should know until April 2017, and since then it’s over, no more channelings, no more research, synchronicities, being prompted to search and check in my own DNA/memory/heart if what I discovered was about myself too. I only see numbers 11:11, 33, 44 and 55 lately. 55 is a physical body connection (DaVinci’s Vitruvious man - 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 head - twins becoming one in the physical sense), 33 is a connection with the source of creation and us two into One - the heart connection, One with everything. 44 is probably some kind of establishing, fencing, solidifying, something about the external world. I read it’s an angelic number but I’m not very sure of its nature.

I lately also feel my room is crowded and noisy as if there were many invisible beings here, yet I’m not willing to talk to any as I don’t want to be bothered and I have no idea what they would want from me. I don’t find any of these energies attractive, or ancient family-like, in terms of galactic beings who could eventually come to be with me. There’s no love or recognition around, just confusion, and a spiritual noise.

Another example of the weirdness. Last night, actually this morning (07/03) I was attacked (visited ?) by something which wasn’t aggressive but was too close to me and it freaked me out. I heard a very high pitch, noise in both of my ears and hemispheres connected and I felt hot in the body. My crown chakra was tingling several times during that day and night. I was waking up a few times at night around 1-3 am and before 3 am I was finally ready to fell asleep. Then I felt something was behind me in my bed! I had a sodalite stone under the pillow and it really lets me jump through time and space spontaneously but apparently since something was opened between dimensions as I was shifting, some being might have glued to me. It was so fucking scary but I could still control it. So I felt I was falling asleep and all of sudden I wanted to roll on my back and there was a pressure of another being in my bed just as when you sleep with somebody and you roll onto them at night! And it wasn’t my twin as there as no loving connection. It wasn’t also me from another dimension trying to enter my body and fuse into One. I found it intrusive and my body was kind of paralyzed. Then quickly I-the spirit- the Draconian in me got fully conscious and it turned around inside my body towards that other ‘being’ behind and said all mean - ‘Get the fuck out of here. I AM the only owner of myself, of this version of me who sleeps in this bed. This is my place and nobody can be here without my approval. Get out now!’ Yet I and my spirit felt very weak, like I couldn’t find my original core fire which normally I would launch-fire up against that alien energy or at least scare it away. For the next 15 minutes I tried to stay awaken and I was sensing with my head ‘antennas’ if it was still around me, not even willing to roll on my back again. I felt it was still there, laughing and waiting, provoking me. So I finally turned the light on, grabbed a bunch of protective stones such as a black tourmaline, onyx, tourquise, jasper kambaba, hematite and I put them under my pillow replacing that damn sodalite. Then the room energy finally calmed down, whether it was a placebo effect or it really works. I then finally fell asleep not worrying about any other energies as I knew they couldn’t pass the ‘wall’ anymore. But when I woke up I was pissed how come something could still bother me and pass my personal protection zone if I’m such an important angel?? Why am I not protected enough?? It’s like discovering that you had all those protection systems up doing well for 40 years and somebody breaks in the ‘house’ nevertheless. Who dared? Who’s responsible for such a security breach?

I do not understand this current leg of the ascension path and I’m not taught where I’m heading either. I asked for my mission, goal, whatever and everything remains silent. Simply put, I don’t like it now.

Finally, as a being of fire (seraph/fire Dragon) I‘ve been deeply disturbed by all these dramatic events which had taken lives of so many people lately. Such energy of shocked, burnt people enters the collective energy rapidly and they bring havoc to empath’s energy 'radars’. A death in fire is the most terrible for the body, the nerves. I kind of remember this from past lives (a witch or a Cathar, misjudged by the catholic church) or at least it’s very easy to me to tune in how it feels :/. During only 2 months, a few to hundreds of people have died in UK (Greenfell tower fire), Germany (today’s bus accident), Portugal (villagers captured on a road by raging bush fires), Pakistan (a fuel tanker explosion), and there was some other accident in the East as far as I’m concerned but that’s what I read on the news, there are many more which I don’t read (and I avoid reading news overall) but tese poor souls enter the global consciousness and they bring their fears which energy is hard to transmute. Fire misbehaves lately and is hard to control. Even when I lit a candle I see as if the fire wanted to leave the wick and walk its way. Fire is very unpredictable this year thus it needs an extreme caution to handle it. This is not the Universe’s will and not the Gaia’s clean up either. This is some evil energy, or a manifestation of people’s anger and frustration which materializes in the least expected places, against innocent people. An energy of a thought can make things happen. I don’t feel people who were killed in water, landslides or tornadoes, but a death in fire always shatters my inner balance, and I see no cure for this, other than to just to wait when it passes, usually after a day or two.

I have no need to write and read about twin flames lately because I’m waiting for things to clear up and crystallize myself too. It feels there’s some work to do yet but most of it will be processed by my soul/spirit who know what to do. When I tap into an article about current energy or twin flames, I skip because my higher self doesn’t want me to read or verify myself with other people’s experiences. Since many new people was forced to awaken this year, some of these articles completely do not apply to us, old asses who had been on the path for many years now. We have to trust our own guidance (the heart/higher mind) only from now on. My body needs to stay in a good shape and choose easy tasks to preserve own energy for ‘later’ but all the rest will be handled by my soul/spirit as it knows what, how and when. If once there’s pure bliss and extreme intimacy, and closeness with the twin, the other time I’m left to my own devices and I’m clueless to what I should be doing so it feels like being hit in the head. Glued then separated. It’s maddening. It’s been a reconfiguration of everything who we are and the outside world but I hope we’ll be satisfied in the end, together!

Until next time, and thank you for reading! :)

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